# Would you be a polygamist?



## itywltmt (May 29, 2011)

I wonder if I'll get in trouble for this one...

Yesterday, the High Court of British Columbia provided what I believe is a response to a "reference" from a lower court as to whether or not Canada's legal position on *Polygamy *violates Canada's Chater of Rights and Freedoms. Read:
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news...to-the-bedrooms-of-the-nation/article2246984/

Now, I am happily married, and certainly can't imagine having more than one wife (why, between the homefront and TalkClassical...), but there is something about Trudeau saying in the 1960's that the "Government has no business in the Nation's bedrooms".

With US cable TV shows "Big Love" and "Sister Wives" having brought some notoriety to the cause, and exposed some of the Polygamists' POV, it may be appropriate to ask what you think of the whole thing...


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

I think history makes clear that nearly every man who has the power to be a polygamist, is a polygamist. Even if he doesn't have time for 1800 wives, he still wants them.


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## Taneyev (Jan 19, 2009)

No in my life. To understand and support a wife is enough for me.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

I have no problem with consenting polygamists, and for people with those mindsets, it may well help alleviate the heartbreak of an affair! Personally, though, I rather like devoting to my life to one person; cultivating unique memories and experiences with them. It's sweet!


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

Is one blonde, one redhead and one beautiful brunette considered polygamy?


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## Taneyev (Jan 19, 2009)

No, at least you live with all three together.


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## regressivetransphobe (May 16, 2011)

science said:


> I think history makes clear that nearly every man who has the power to be a polygamist, is a polygamist. Even if he doesn't have time for 1800 wives, he still wants them.


Maybe I'm screwed up or something. I don't see the appeal of this at all. One is enough.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

I'm horny enough but emotionally I could see it becoming tiresome and it just isn't as personal or fair. 

Curiously, my mother who works with small children was seeing a polygamist family a while back. She told me that that was a first! The guy said he tried to be around as often as he could, but he had to tend to his other family! My mother thinks the idea is strange, and from a woman's perspective it does indeed sound unfair and gives the man a lot of power. I think I'd either be a total jerk with my power or else I'd be overrun with competing women and would be walked all over.


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

I would never be a polygamist, but I would support legalizing it where it is still illegal. As long as it is consensual among all the wives and the husband or all the husbands and the wife or all the husbands and his husbands or all the wives and her wives (JEEZE I THINK YOU GET THE PICTURE!) then it isn't hurting anyone.


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

I have a confession to make.

A few years ago my wife's sister moved in with us, and... well, you get the picture.

When their mother found out, she screamed, "That's bigamy!"

I responded, "No, that's big of _me_."


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## Chrythes (Oct 13, 2011)

If our only reason for living was breeding as much as we can , then yes - polygamy might be a legitimate option.
As in nature (at least most animals) we would fertilize the female, she would take care of our children, and we would continue on our journey to plant our seed in as many places as we can. 
But humans are mostly different, when both parents raise their children by dedicating as much time as possible for them it increases their chances of survival, and for some reason most of us have the need to share our experiences/thoughts/emotions with someone else, and who is better if not the mother of our children/life partner. And we are social animals as well, by establishing bonds with other families we increase the strength of our community, thus increasing the chances of the survival of our species. But on the other hand - in Africa you can find polygamy in certain tribes, by allowing it some females retain their "power", or the ability to survive with their children - when the partner is not able to support her anymore, the female can choose another one and so on. In the Western society it might not be as necessary to change partners as frequently as in those tribes because the government can sometimes satisfy your needs, and it is usually too much exhausting for the male (or female) to take care of even one family, so taking care of a second family seems to be too much in most cases. 
In the end, I myself probably won't engage in such activity, but if every person involved in such condition accepts and feel happy or at least satisfied with the situation - then go on and do your thing, it surely is not my business. 
But in the end it depends on the individual


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

Absolutely not ... I have enough troubles just staying in line with one wife (she's absolutely adorable, mind you) and couldn't handle any more. 

That said, I am not anti nor pro polygamy ... what people decide to do behind closed doors is their business and nobody else's, except when it comes to girls under the age of 18 being "told" they "must" marry a 60 year old male - as in pre-arranged marriages.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

Chrythes said:


> If our only reason for living was breeding as much as we can , then yes - polygamy might be a legitimate option.
> As in nature (at least most animals) we would fertilize the female, she would take care of our children, and we would continue on our journey to plant our seed in as many places as we can.
> But humans are mostly different, when both parents raise their children by dedicating as much time as possible for them it increases their chances of survival, and for some reason most of us have the need to share our experiences/thoughts/emotions with someone else, and who is better if not the mother of our children/life partner. And we are social animals as well, by establishing bonds with other families we increase the strength of our community, thus increasing the chances of the survival of our species. But on the other hand - in Africa you can find polygamy in certain tribes, by allowing it some females retain their "power", or the ability to survive with their children - when the partner is not able to support her anymore, the female can choose another one and so on. In the Western society it might not be as necessary to change partners as frequently as in those tribes because the government can sometimes satisfy your needs, and it is usually too much exhausting for the male (or female) to take care of even one family, so taking care of a second family seems to be too much in most cases.
> In the end, I myself probably won't engage in such activity, but if every person involved in such condition accepts and feel happy or at least satisfied with the situation - then go on and do your thing, it surely is not my business.
> But in the end it depends on the individual


As you hinted in parenthesis, there is a significant precedent in the non-human animal kingdom for monogamy - it's not unique to us.

I suspect that one of the reasons why it is so essential for our species is that our childhoods are ridiculously longer than any other creature's. It's necessary for the development of our intelligence, but it means that the females would be hard pressed to deal with parenthood alone, farting another child out every year.


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

It just struck me that, if I had a dozen wives or so when an operation caused the loss of a required ability, things could have gotten dicey.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

Hilltroll72 said:


> It just struck me that, if I had a dozen wives or so when an operation caused the loss of a required ability, things could have gotten dicey.


Are you trying to tell me that your woman magnet was deactivated?!


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

It depends how it is arranged. You are implying that polygamy condemns the woman to raising her children alone. In fact as I understand it, what it can do is provide a sisterhood to raise the children together. As someone who does 95% of the childcare in my family, that sounds pretty good to me.

But of course raising children is only part of the story.


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## Fsharpmajor (Dec 14, 2008)

I'm in favour of it being legal, so long as it encompasses polyandry. If a man can have multiple wives, a woman should be able to have multiple husbands. That's only fair. And it would help compensate for Hilltroll's problem (although he might not see it that way ).


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

Fsharpmajor said:


> I'm in favour of it being legal, so long as it encompasses polyandry. If a man can have multiple wives, a woman should be able to have multiple husbands. That's only fair. And it would help compensate for Hilltroll's problem (although he might not see it that way ).


I've always tended to see fair polygamy as containing a generally equal number of men and women in any one relationship - is that a different concept?


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## Fsharpmajor (Dec 14, 2008)

According to Wikipedia:

"Polygamy (from πολύς γάμος polys gamos, translated literally in Late Greek as "often married")[1] is a marriage which includes more than two partners.[1] When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, the relationship is called polygyny, and there is no marriage bond between the wives; and when a woman is married to more than one husband at a time, it is called polyandry, and there is no marriage bond between the husbands. If a marriage includes multiple husbands and wives, it can be called group marriage"


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

In "The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress, several of the characters are members of a 'group marriage' but it seems like Heinlein used a specific name, and the leadership is matriarchal.


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## Aramis (Mar 1, 2009)

Not only an act and deed shalt thou sacrifice, but whichever treacherous thought shall cross your mind and glance shall be tempted from you with felonious savor, sacrifice it thou shalt on your love's altar, to greater splendour of your queen or to your own hideous disgrace. 

So told me Sir Luminousbranch when I met him at the castle of Linvernessoldeforthaltroshirnomorn.


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## regressivetransphobe (May 16, 2011)

Hilltroll72 said:


> In "The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress, several of the characters are members of a 'group marriage' but it seems like Heinlein used a specific name, and the leadership is matriarchal.


Unsurprisingly, Heinlein had no idea how human relationships realistically work.


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## Dster (Oct 3, 2011)

Monogamy is a Chirstian belief. It only became the standard practice in most country after the influence of the west spread in the 19th century. In the Islam world a man is legally allowed to have four wives. In the first world of Singapore it is illegal to have more than one wife except for her Muslim citizens but only if the existing wife agrees to it. In the African Christian country where I once worked, polygamy is tolerated under the extended family system. When I asked a missionary friend about this, he told me that it is a 'local tradition'. Although it is against Christian belief the church 'respects' it. I found the answer disingenuous given that the Muslim faith is making a big push in that part of the world. Polygamy is one of the reason why AID is spreading like wild fire in that continent. 

I do not see anything morally wrong with polygamy and polyandry if all parties in the arrangement agree to it. Personally the economic and emotional cost are just too high for me to bear.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

I don't know about married polygamy, but I've tried having a polyamorous relationship with a much younger girlfriend. It ended up being pretty one-sided and not all that satisfying (for me).

But to each his own . . .


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

Polednice said:


> Are you trying to tell me that your woman magnet was deactivated?!


Or his mojo...


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

I think that the issue is that if polygamy is part of the culture and has been there for hundreds of years, it can be legitimised. Eg. as in Islamic countries.

But reading the Canadian article posted in the OP, the only polygamous community in that country is described as a religious cult/sect. Also discussed is possible vulnerability of young people in these situations. If you were around in the 1990's, you probably know of David Koresh in the USA, what happened with his cult that was also polygamous. In other words, if it is allowed in Western countries, it can be abused by the likes of these cults. So do we want to open the floodgates to this kind of possible abuse of esp. young people in vulnerable positions? I'd rather just blanket ban it to protect the larger society. If we open the door a little bit it is likely to be totally pushed in.

Even the Mormons in the USA are no longer polygamous on the whole, only a small breakaway group of that church still practices that kind of thing. The "mainstream" Mormons got rid of polygamy as part of that religion ages ago, to modernise that religion or church. That's what this says to me, polygamy is outdated, it's not part of the modern world, only part of those countries that are run along more conservative lines in terms of religion, culture, etc...


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

Polygamy and aristocracy go together: high-ranking men (or successful warriors) get multiple women, low-ranking men get none. (It should go without saying that in such societies women are treated as property.) 

And thus, monogamy and democracy go together. 

As our society is returning to aristocracy, we can see high-ranking men having several wives. We now have serial monogamy, a sugar-coated polygamy primarily enjoyed by rich men; and of course secretaries, maids, and so on. 

In short, it is largely a myth that elite men in our society are monogamous.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

No comment....................


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> No comment....................


You dig up a thread that's been dead for over seven years just to leave "no comment"......

Brilliant.


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## Guest (Apr 30, 2018)

There is a difference between polygamy and a rich man having many mistresses. With the former there is a serious lifetime commitment to each partner and their children. You can keep that.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

In societies that allowed polygamy in the past, it was a way of taking care of surplus women, given that their survival rate was higher. However, it was always open to being abused, with rich men having loadza wives, not leaving any women left over for younger poorer men, and I think the (subliminal or otherwise) message it sends out is that one man is equal to several women in value. 

In our monogamous society we now have the situation that a man can be made to support financially his children by other women or former wives. Unmarried partners also have many more legal rights, and the offspring of unmarried unions are now so common that there is no or little stigma attached to 'illegitimacy'. 
Although my own ideals of matrimony are not in tune with this zeitgeist, I think that the legal arrangements are fair and allowing polygamy would not be a just decision for a society in which every individual is deemed to have equal rights. 

So I am not going to permit Taggart to become a polygamist after all...


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

In college, I was once the Monday-Thursday boyfriend of a beautiful woman. She also had a Friday-Sunday boyfriend. Things worked out fine...for a while at least.


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

Ingélou said:


> In societies that allowed polygamy in the past, it was a way of taking care of surplus women, given that their survival rate was higher. However, it was always open to being abused, with rich men having loadza wives, not leaving any women left over for younger poorer men, and I think the (subliminal or otherwise) message it sends out is that one man is equal to several women in value.
> 
> In our monogamous society we now have the situation that a man can be made to support financially his children by other women or former wives. Unmarried partners also have many more legal rights, and the offspring of unmarried unions are now so common that there is no or little stigma attached to 'illegitimacy'.
> Although my own ideals of matrimony are not in tune with this zeitgeist, I think that the legal arrangements are fair and allowing polygamy would not be a just decision for a society in which every individual is deemed to have equal rights.
> ...


And all those disappointed women know whom to blame.


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## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

I once had two girlfriends, and the situation was driving me nuts. I'm just a one-woman man. However, I have no problem with other folks having 2 or more mates; I hate an intrusive government.


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## Capeditiea (Feb 23, 2018)

...i am polyamourous...


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## Barbebleu (May 17, 2015)

I think it was Oscar Wilde who said, and I paraphrase, 'Bigamy is having one wife too many, for some men so is monogamy!'


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I just asked my wife and she was lukewarm on the idea. Perhaps tomorrow after a good night's sleep, she will be a bit more receptive.

I KNEW I should have married the girl I met at the Woodstock Festival!


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## Capeditiea (Feb 23, 2018)

hpowders said:


> I just asked my wife and she was lukewarm on the idea. Perhaps tomorrow after a good night's sleep, she will be a bit more receptive.


 she might say yes if you change your question to polyamoury.  this way she too can join in on the fun. :3 to top it off, the bills will be way less since if everyone pitches in then it would inevitably be 1-10% depending on how ever many members of the family you wish to have.  
thusly in the end, everyone could be married to everyone.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I knew teaching wasn't the profession to help me achieve my full potential.

Polygamy: THAT would have been the one!!!


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

hpowders said:


> I knew teaching wasn't the profession to help me achieve my full potential.
> 
> Polygamy: THAT would have been the one!!!


So you're saying that instead of teaching the young, you should have Brigham Young?


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

hpowders said:


> I just asked my wife and she was lukewarm on the idea. Perhaps tomorrow after a good night's sleep, she will be a bit more receptive.
> 
> I KNEW I should have married the girl I met at the Woodstock Festival!


Did she have flowers in her hair?


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## Brahmsian Colors (Sep 16, 2016)

I enjoyed poly playing around *before* I was married. Never had any serious desire to engage in it after being married.


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## Oldhoosierdude (May 29, 2016)

Would I be a polygamist? Is this a proposition?


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Did she have flowers in her hair?


Woodstock...Those were the days. "I'm goin' up the country, baby don't you want to go?" :guitar:

Nights? Splendor in the Grass.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

hpowders said:


> Woodstock...Those were the days. "I'm goin' up the country, baby don't you want to go?" :guitar:


Is it come or go?


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## Belowpar (Jan 14, 2015)

regressivetransphobe said:


> Maybe I'm screwed up or something. I don't see the appeal of this at all. One is enough.


I already knew you were screwed up when I heard you were backward looking and afraid of Transexuals.


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

kv466 said:


> Is one blonde, one redhead and one beautiful brunette considered polygamy?


No, it would be considered prudent. :devil:


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## Guest (May 1, 2018)

A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper,"The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony"


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## ldiat (Jan 27, 2016)

now to watch "Sister Wives" on TLC in the US


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Do Twins count.........................


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## znapschatz (Feb 28, 2016)

ldiat said:


> now to watch "Sister Wives" on TLC in the US


That is one of my wife's favorite shows. I don't know what to make of this.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

znapschatz said:


> That is one of my wife's favorite shows.


Which one, the blonde wife or the brunette wife?


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## znapschatz (Feb 28, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Which one, the blonde wife or the brunette wife?


Oh, that's too bizarre to contemplate. But I don't know to whom you refer because I seldom watch the series, even while it is on display in our living room while I'm there. Usually, I just continue reading or whatever. But aren't there four wives?


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

znapschatz said:


> Oh, that's too bizarre to contemplate. But I don't know to whom you refer because I seldom watch the series, even while it is on display in our living room while I'm there. Usually, I just continue reading or whatever. But aren't there four wives?


I was just kidding around with him by asking him which one of his wives likes the show. I have no idea what that show is about, but I guess I can take a pretty good guess.


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## Larkenfield (Jun 5, 2017)

“Would you be a polygamist?”
—-
I would be willing to try it twice. :tiphat:


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## Jos (Oct 14, 2013)

I would first like some info on that story that women sync their cycles when they live together. Living with wife and two grown daughters I think it is an absolute myth, but in the case of polygamy I’m willing to do some research....


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Jos said:


> I would first like some info on that story that women sync their cycles when they live together. Living with wife and two grown daughters I think it is an absolute myth, but in the case of polygamy I'm willing to do some research....


The next time your wife complains about you, just tell her that things could have been worse if she had to live with another woman! If she doesn't complain about that, it might be a sign to bring in another wife to the party.  Of course, then you might have multiple wives nagging you.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Polygamy is all about propagating your DNA. Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden (father of Osama, whom we may remember) had 22 wives, but never more than four at a time. He fathered 56 children among them. Darwin smiled.


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## Room2201974 (Jan 23, 2018)

58 posts into this thread and no one has mentioned David Crosby!

"You want to know
How it will be"


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

*Would you be a polygamist?*

My wives won't let me.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Klassik said:


> Is it come or go?


At Woodstock, one could do both-coming...going... polygamistically speaking.


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

So, TC ladies, any thoughts on polyandry?

I'm not volunteering, you understand, just asking.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Pat Fairlea said:


> So, TC ladies, any thoughts on polyandry?
> 
> I'm not volunteering, you understand, just asking.


Does having multiple dead husbands count?


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## laurie (Jan 12, 2017)

Jos said:


> I would first like some info on that story that women sync their cycles when they live together. Living with wife and two grown daughters I think it is an absolute myth, but in the case of polygamy I'm willing to do some research....


Oh, yes ~ that's absolutely a real thing! I have 3 (now grown) daughters; I think my poor husband still has some traumatic memories of his years spent being the only man in a house full of 4 women who were all PMS-ing at _the same time!_  :lol:


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