# Memoir Titles of the Great Composers



## arnerich (Aug 19, 2016)

If the great composers wrote memoirs what would their book titles be? Post your best ones! 

Beethoven: "Bad Hair Daze" 

Mozart: "From Child Prodigy to Man Prodigy" 

Bach: "Perfect isn't good enough"


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## MarkW (Feb 16, 2015)

Mahler: My Time will Come

Chopin: Eighty-eight Keys to Glory

Berlioz: My Life and Hard Times

Ives: The Unanswered Question

Schoenberg: Grrr

Hindemith: My Life as a Sewing Machine Repairman


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Cage: .


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Monteverdi: "To Hades and Back"

Handel: "It's All Water Music Under the Bridge Now"

Haydn: "Seasons of Surprise"

Mozart: "Opera on a Napkin - a Disposable Life"

Beethoven: "If I Had a Hammerklavier"

Mendelssohn: "Words Without Songs"

Brahms: "How I Recovered From Clara Through Facial Hair and Fat" 

Wagner: "Go Ask Cosima"

Stravinsky: "A Duck Can Hear. Why a Duck?""

Schoenberg: "YM ILFE NAD SETIM: A SPOCMESOR EMROMI"

Cage:


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

KenOC said:


> Cage: .


Coincidence. .......


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## arnerich (Aug 19, 2016)

Woodduck said:


> Handel: "It's All Water Music Under the Bridge Now"
> 
> Haydn: "Seasons of Surprise"
> 
> Mendelssohn: "Words Without Songs"


These three are amazing :lol:


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Britten: My Life as a Michael Jackson Joke.

Shostakovich: My Supper with Joe, or, Always Have Clean Pants Handy.


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Sibelius: "Finnished at Sixes and Sevens"


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Lili Boulanger: "Great Expectations - A Posthumous Memoir"


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

Bruckner: My Life and Times, Revision 1 - wait, Revision 2 - wait, Revision 3.

Frederick Delius: A Mess of Life.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

Woodduck said:


> Beethoven: "If I Had a Hammerklavier"


They're all great, but that one made me laugh out loud.


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## Becca (Feb 5, 2015)

If Teddy Roosevelt wrote music, would his be "Speak Softly and Carry a Big Hammerklavier"?


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Elgar: "And Did Those Feet in Ancient Times Walk in American High School Graduations? - or, A Dream of Gerontology"

Holst: "My Other Music is Good Too."

Britten: "Big Ben Boinks Baby Boys"


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Becca said:


> If Teddy Roosevelt wrote music, would his be "Speak Softly and Carry a Big Hammerklavier"?


I should think a small hammerklavier would do quite enough damage.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Gesualdo: The glove doesn't fit; you must acquit

Monteverdi: From Orpheus to Morpheus: how I invented the genre that put Brahms to sleep

Bach: Yes, we Cantata

Mozart: Life's a dirty joke

Beethoven: A Chamber Pot under my Hammerklavier

Chopin: Cough, cough, coffin

Schumann: Crazy about Clara

Tchaikovsky: I always preferred Romeo

Mahler: Have cowbell, will travel

Rachmaninoff: Laughter is the best medicine

Holst: Told you Pluto ain't a planet

Stravinsky: A write-off spring


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## arnerich (Aug 19, 2016)

brianvds said:


> Schumann: Crazy about Clara


Brahms: Crazy about Clara


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

arnerich said:


> Brahms: Crazy about Clara


That Clara! Everyone fancied her...


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Shostakovich: Rebel with too many causes 
Chopin: Yeah Muse sampled me 
Scriabin: Still not French
Berlioz: Hot girls and heroin


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Haydn: In the Shadow of the Great Moghul


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

*Lully:* The Staff of Death

*Verdi:* Tubercular Prostitutes, Barbecued Babies, and Virgins Singing Themselves to Death in Gunny Sacks: My Italy

*Raff:* Cry, and the World Cries With You; Raff, and you Raff Alone

*Humperdinck:* So I Lived. It's Not Unusual


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## Tallisman (May 7, 2017)

brianvds said:


> gesualdo: The glove doesn't fit; you must acquit


bwaha!.................


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## Tallisman (May 7, 2017)

Bruckner: Like a Virgin


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## Star (May 27, 2017)

Wagner : Building Castles in the Air

Bach : The Parent Trap

Beethoven : Home Alone

Handel : hallelujah!

Rossini : Roll out the barrel


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## Star (May 27, 2017)

Mozart : Anything you can do I can do better

Haydn : the Old100

Bruckner : The Never Ending Story

Mahler : Wild Thng!

Verdi : Shakespeare in Love

Debussy : Imagine


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Minor Sixthist said:


> Scriabin: Still not French


Or "Bin there, done that."



KenOC said:


> Haydn: In the Shadow of the Great Moghul


Hummel: In the Shadow of the Great Moghul, part two."

Brahms: The art of the insult

Sibelius: The first two thirds of my life

Britten: I swear I never touched them.

Schoenberg: Row, row, row your tone

Hovhaness: My life and works, Volumes 1 - 4657


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Stravinsky: Composers I Like (1 page, paper covers)

Gyrowetz: No I'm not a Disney Character!

Mozart: Never Enough Notes


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

KenOC said:


> Stravinsky: Composers I Like (1 page, paper covers)


Villa-Lobos: Never gave two hoots about Igor's opinions anyway.


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## Star (May 27, 2017)

Stravinsky - Puppet on aString

Berlioz - Mr Tambourine Man

Brahms - my name isn't Gillette!

Grieg - Climb Every mountain


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Bartok: Put on your seatbelt, Dorothy, 'cause Kansas is going bye-bye

Ravel: Please stop playing Bolero

Rodrigo: Please stop playing Aranjuez

Sor: It's okay to be a guitarist

Hindemith: It's okay to be a viola player


Pity one can apparently not do strike through effects on this board. I can think of some humorous ways in which to use it.


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

Chopin: A Girl Named Georges. 
Liszt: Cosima Fan Tutte 
Grainger: Whipping Up A Melody


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## LezLee (Feb 21, 2014)

J.S. Bach: No Stops On My Organ


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

Modest Mussorgsky: Time in a Bottle


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Feldman: Godot Waits for Me


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

Alexander Borodin: Accelerating reagents in high pH stoichiometry... and , oh yeah, Prince Ig...


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## LezLee (Feb 21, 2014)

Terry Riley : C Who’s Here

Smetana : It’s Been A Vlast


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov: Anything you can do, I can orchestrate better.

Arthur Bliss: Fifty shades of symphonic colour.

Ralph Vaughan Williams: My Life - but it is what I meant.


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

Ernest Chausson: One of a Kind

Cesar Franck: Better Late than Never


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## LezLee (Feb 21, 2014)

Schubert : That’s Me Finished

César and his friend Chausson : Franck and Ernest


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## LezLee (Feb 21, 2014)

Mussorgsky : Not quite Godunov


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## DeepR (Apr 13, 2012)

Mozart: Ein sauberes Arsch, ein sauberes Gewissen!


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## Orfeo (Nov 14, 2013)

Sir Arnold Bax: "The Forever Brazing romantic, and a Rebellious One."
Nikolay Myaskovsky: "This ever so elusive Musical Conscience of Moscow is an independant soul at heart."
Alexander Glazunov: "I am a Obstinate Traditionalist, but with Some Tricks Here and There."
Sir Charles Villiers Stanford: "Can I ever get Brahms out of my mind?"
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky: "This is my supreme masterpiece. No, actually this next work is."
Karl Goldmark: "A Daunting Perfectionist."
Dmitri Shostakovich: "I am a Communist, but Evasively, not Fervently."
Carl Nielsen: "The Craggy, Observational Humanist."
Kurt Atterberg: "In Love with Swedish Folk-melodies."
Ralph Vaughan-Williams: "Among the Last Defenders of the Symphony as a Great Form."
Jacques Offenbach: "Live, Laugh, and be Naughty."
Sir Edward Elgar: "The Anti-Establishmentarian of the Victorian Age."


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## arnerich (Aug 19, 2016)

Vivaldi: There is a season turn, turn, turn
Mahler: Life and Death (but mostly death)


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## LezLee (Feb 21, 2014)

Arvo Pärt - One

Taverner - Drinks Are On Me

Bizet - Doing Nothing


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

LezLee said:


> Terry Riley : C Who's Here
> 
> Smetana : It's Been A Vlast


Smetana? a memoir? I Moldaut it


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## 20centrfuge (Apr 13, 2007)

Hindemith -- "The Golden Ratio Boy"
Barber -- "20th Century Tchaikovsky"
Prokofiev -- "Back in the USSR"
Adams, John -- "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the (Atomic) Bomb"
Messiaen -- "My Life in Living Color"
Bartok -- "From Folksongs to the Mikrocosmos"


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Saint-Saens: Après moi, le déclin de la musique


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## LezLee (Feb 21, 2014)

Saint-Saens : The Carnival Is Over


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## Larkenfield (Jun 5, 2017)

The Art of Silence... Marcel Marceau: My Life and Mimes


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## arnerich (Aug 19, 2016)

Wagner: Mein Leben... Oh wait


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