# Anton: Chapter 16



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

January 2 (December 21 old style) was the date of the premiere of Anton's opera. He had the exciting opportunity to conduct it himself, and he was thus fully in control of all the nuances which he imagined in it.
If anything, this was one of the most gratifying moments in his life.
Everyone was there. His students Sergei Vasilievich and Alexander Nikolayevich were there, and so was Piotr Ilyich and Sergei Ivanovich. Vasily Sergeyevich also made a friendly appearance, and numerous other performers and students all around Moscow. Gutheil also came, as he was secretly curious as to what Anton was busying himself so much with, and hadn't asked him to publish. There were also a number of Petersburg composers in the crowd.
It was a splendid performance, and all the singers played their roles magnificently. Anton was given a standing ovation at the end, and he was finally at peace about this work which had taken him so long to perfect.
When it was done, he was crowded by all his colleagues and students, who all shared such high admiration for him. Alexander Nikolayevich of course stepped out without a comment, but Anton didn't mind that since he didn't expect one.
"Well done, Anton Stepanovich!" Piotr Ilyich was the strongest in his compliments. "I think this opera will be considered one of the greatest in our country's history!"
Inspired by such a great figure's statement, everyone in turn marveled and agreed with Piotr Ilyich. Anton was never more pleased as when his favorite idol publicly complimented him.
All of this took quite a long time, and Anton was nearly carried off to a dinner party with the group when he caught someone in his eye. A lady standing on the edge of the concert hall, staring at him intently.
It was Katerina.
Anton froze, midway a number of people all talking to him and with each other all at once. It was just like when he saw her 5 years before. Only his reaction now was a lot worse.
Anton literally ran out of the crowd he was in, holding his head the same way he had before (but he did it just as pretense to get away, he didn't have a headache), and approached Katerina. She was all alone, and when their eyes met, she escaped into the lobby, beckoning him to follow to somewhere more private.
Anton had to walk a considerable distance to where he and Katerina finally were alone in a backstage room, so many people were following him and wondering where he was going. But finally he was alone, and faced her head-on. His hands were shaking, and his heart was pounding.
"Where have you been?" was the first sentence he could coherently say to her.
Katerina looked on gravely. She was wearing a dark brown dress. She was also more pale and colder-looking than he last knew her. But it was still her, and her eyes had the same passion.
"Locked up... in a nightmare..." she whispered.
Anton approached her, and although he was shaking all over, he embraced her.
"Do you still love me?" he asked.
"I do."
"Oh thank God!" he thought to himself in relief. It seemed like the only thing he could hold onto in his life, was him knowing she loved him.
"I haven't forgotten you a single day, Katerina. I... I dream of you every night."
"You do?" she was in awe.
"Yes, ever since our last parting. I have a recurring dream of you over and over every night..." he looked sorrowfully into her eyes.
"Will you ever forgive me?" she asked.
"I already have," he kissed her on the cheek.
"Oh Anton!" she suddenly said desperately. "If only you would abduct me like... like the Voyevoda in your opera did! It would solve everything!"
"No, it won't," he sighed. "I would ruin my reputation as well as your own, as it did for the Voyevoda."
"What does reputation matter!"
"It matters when there are others dependent on me. Surely you have those who are dependent on you."
"I have no children."
"You don't?? Why not?"
"My husband won't have any. He is consumed with business. He's... traveling right now, and will be away for several days."
There was a pause now in their conversation. And then there was a knock on the door.
"Oh God!" Anton spat. "Will we... meet again?"
"Please! Come to 27 Koussevitskaya tomorrow at dusk. Until then... good-bye. I'll wait til you're gone."
Anton stepped out of the room then. He found Sergei Ivanovich walking down the hall, but turn around at hearing the door open.
"What are you doing here??" he asked anxiously and not without some irritation. "Everyone is wondering where you are!"
"Unexpected nervousness," Anton muttered and said nothing more.
"Why are you like this Anton? This makes no sense. Next thing you'll be doing is throwing your life out the window, I imagine. I can't... I can't bear to see you deteriorate."
"Who's deteriorating?" Anton asked. "Can't people... dream?"
It was a strange question that Sergei didn't know how to respond, so he said nothing. In silence, they met the rest of the crowd outside, and Anton went on his way to wherever his colleagues took him. It mattered little to him.
Many that night saw that he was terribly preoccupied, but none could guess why.


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