# Cheesiest Songs That Ever Became Hits!



## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

Julio Eglesias - To all The Girls I've Loved Before

What was Willie Nelson thinking when he agreed to sing on this load of crap? 
Paying back the IRS?


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I've Got Love in My Tummy - The Ohio Express. Try that line on a girl and see how far it gets you.


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

Heh, heh! Never underestimate the public's bad taste!

Village People-YMCA


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## GreenMamba (Oct 14, 2012)

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

"Feelings." zOMG....


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## dgee (Sep 26, 2013)




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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

^^^
That song bears no resemblance to the rest of the music on the album, which is hard rock.
I wonder how many women listening to More Than Words on soft rock radio bought the CD
and said, WTF?


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

I'm going to make a distinction between the cheesy and the sappy/syrupy or I'll be forever clogging this thread with artery-blocking soft rock/power ballads such as the excruciating More Than Words:

Wham - Club Tropicana (I have found that latin-lite enhances the cheese quotient quite effectively)

Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin - Je t'aime (I like some of Gainsbourg's work but this just sounds like a mildly-erotic outtake of Procul Harum's Whiter Shade of Pale to me)

Whigfield - Saturday Night (there are thousands of wimpy dance-pop hits that could replace this, especially all that high-pitched Japanese rubbish, but this is an adequate indicator)

Little Jimmy Osmond - Long-Haired Lover From Liverpool (as this is without doubt one of the most excruciatingly stomach-churning songs ever this is the one I'm going to put a youtube link to)


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

elgars ghost said:


> Little Jimmy Osmond - Long-Haired Lover From Liverpool (as this is without doubt one of the most excruciatingly stomach-churning songs ever this is the one I'm going to put a youtube link to)


I don't think the health warning is strong enough.

Then there's:






Not to mention






(I think I might be showing my age )


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

Taggart, I think I'll just admire the record label livery rather than actually listen to these again!


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

elgars ghost said:


> Taggart, I think I'll just admire the record label livery rather than actually listen to these again!


Go on, you know you want to. :devil:


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

For the Cheesiest of the Cheesiest, the late 1950s just can't be beaten:

Seven Little Girls sitting in the back seat by The Avons

Beep Beep by the Playmates

I enjoy being a girl - Peggy Lee

Que sera, sera - Doris Day

Twenty little tiny fingers - Alma Cogan

Hello Patsy Fagan - not sure who sang it...


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

Ingélou said:


> For the Cheesiest of the Cheesiest, the late 1950s just can't be beaten:
> 
> Seven Little Girls sitting in the back seat by The Avons


Cheesy, of course. But when I was a kid and that was a hit, I considered that song prophetic. And I figured I'd be the one driving Fred.


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## Jos (Oct 14, 2013)

Brace yourselves,






What an absolute disaster, cheesie horror by Barry fff-ing Manilow. Yet it brings me to tears because it was played at the funeral of a dear friend who died in a carcrash at the age of 21, some thirty years ago.....


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

*The obliqueness of POP music...*


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

Culture Club - Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? I'll Tumble 4 Ta

Mandy wasn't the worst song Manilow ever did. I'd go with I Write The Songs.

These were parodied hilariously in Frank Zappa's tune, Tinseltown Rebellion.


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## SarahNorthman (Nov 19, 2014)

Tip toe through the tulips by tiny tim.
Never gonna give you up by Rick astley


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2014)

Rick Astley rules!!!! You need to be rickrolled for putting him in there.

Mandy isn't so bad - not bad for what it is. Now, if you want to talk cheesy:

MMMBop, by Hanson!




Love the white-boy dreds on the pipsqueak on drums!

or

Achy Breaky Heart, but dad of the century, Billy Ray Cyrus, who not only gave us that horrendous song, but all the music and the circus that is his daughter, Miley Cyrus.


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## SarahNorthman (Nov 19, 2014)

DrMike said:


> Rick Astley rules!!!! You need to be rickrolled for putting him in there.
> 
> Mandy isn't so bad - not bad for what it is. Now, if you want to talk cheesy:
> 
> ...


Oh billy Rae Cyrus is awful too!


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## DavidA (Dec 14, 2012)

Clive Dunn singing Granddad went to No 1 in UK


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## GreenMamba (Oct 14, 2012)

'Tis the season to mention the pesky *Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.*

And then there's Terry Jacks' *Seasons in the Sun*.

_Good bye papa, it's hard to die_


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)




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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

Not cheesy, but I won't start a thread about the simplest, lightly manned/produced recordings that were pop hits.

Simple lyrics, sung by a a simple voice, accompanied by simple guitar.

"Oh Happy Day" (all my troubles, all gone away).

It seemed like it should be accompanied by a sarcasm alert... only just maybe not.


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## SarahNorthman (Nov 19, 2014)

I think don't worry be happy is worth mentioning. Just ick.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Hall and Oates' Sarah Smile.  Oh I hated that song--still do!


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

I was 14 in 1994 and thought this song was the 'bestest' song in the world. Anyone got a time machine so I can go back and punch myself in the face? Geez!

Here's another gem . . . Actually I kinda like this one. :tiphat:


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## dgee (Sep 26, 2013)

Couple more 90s shockers


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

^
^

That Eiffel 65 track just sounds like the usual generic dance fodder that anyone can knock out in 15 minutes - make sure the rhythm track is on the standard 'bump-tss-ta-tss-bump-tss-ta-tss' annoyance setting, write some dumb lyrics, press the button and away we go. This isn't just cheesy - it's embarrassingly bad.

And I'm not even going to dignify the P.Puff Daddy-Diddy (oh, for God's sake, let's just call him Geoff...) effort with a slagging.

Music snob alert over - have a pleasant evening, everybody! :tiphat:


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## Metairie Road (Apr 30, 2014)

DrMike, thanks for posting MMMBop by Hanson. Great song.

Just because it's cheesy doesn't make it bad.

Here are a couple of songs that are surely *Epic* in the annals of cheesiness.

*Richard Harris - MacArthur Park*





*Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On*





Happt Christman
Metairie Road


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## Figleaf (Jun 10, 2014)

At this time of the year, some festive cheesiness is in order:






That was my favourite ever record at the time 

And who doesn't love the Elvis pastiche that is Mud's Lonely this Christmas?


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

SarahNorthman said:


> I think don't worry be happy is worth mentioning. Just ick.


Too bad Bobby McFerrin became famous for that one song. He's an amazing artist. I saw him perform a solo vocal concert, and it was extremely entertaining.


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## Jos (Oct 14, 2013)

Figleaf said:


> And who doesn't love the Elvis pastiche that is Mud's Lonely this Christmas?


Whohaaa!! . Mud, tigerfeet
Mud, wonderful. When I started to discover music in the mid seventies, these guys and their fellow glamrockers were hot. Top of the pops, well the Dutch equivalent "toppop", had them every show, together with Rubettes and some other tastefully dressed blokes.
Thanks Figleaf, I really must buy an album by them. Don't see them in the crates of thriftstores that often :lol:
Btw, are you sure they were thinking "pastiche" with that song, I think they were bloody serious ! :lol:

Cheers,
Jos


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

One of my older mates remembers taking his then-girlfriend to see Mud in concert c. 1975 - she was strictly a teenybopper and he was mainly anti-pop but had to do chaperone duty. He said that on stage they were louder and far more hard-rocking than their numerous hits and TOTP appearances would have led you to believe, a distinction they appeared to share with contemporaries such as Sweet and Roxy Music. And, being a musician himself, he rated Mud guitarist Rob Davis quite highly.


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

*Sweet Brown - Ain't Nobody Got Time Fo' Dat*


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## Kivimees (Feb 16, 2013)

My offering:


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

Ukko said:


> Not cheesy, but I won't start a thread about the simplest, lightly manned/produced recordings that were pop hits.
> 
> Simple lyrics, sung by a a simple voice, accompanied by simple guitar.
> 
> ...


Needed to add a link to the wiki article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh_Happy_Day_(1952_song)

So now I know that the song encountered me in high school.


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## Bluecrab (Jun 24, 2014)

Sometimes When We Touch.

Not only is it unbearably cheesy. It is also, hands down IMHO, the worst wussie song ever recorded. Only _All I Know_ by Art Garfunkel even comes close. :lol:


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

High on the cheese meter is almost anything by Tony Orlando & Yawn, Barry Manifold, Jose Fellaciono, Jackoff 5.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do by Neil Sedaka.

His voice gives me the creeps. What kind of man sings like that?


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

Vaneyes said:


> High on the cheese meter is almost anything by Tony Orlando & Yawn, Barry Manifold, Jose Fellaciono, Jackoff 5.


He should have been a porn star with a name like that. You are right, though - Knock Three Times & Tie A Yellow Ribbon score the highest reading on the Cheese-ometer.


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## GreenMamba (Oct 14, 2012)

Vaneyes said:


> High on the cheese meter is almost anything by Tony Orlando & Yawn, Barry Manifold, Jose Fellaciono, Jackoff 5.


Does Jackoff 5 = Jurassic 5? Because I like the J5.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

hpowders said:


> Breaking Up Is Hard To Do by Neil Sedaka.
> 
> His voice gives me the creeps. What kind of man sings like that?


Sedaka has had an amazing career and is still going strong. Read his Wiki bio! At well over 70 he's still performing live and racking up hit songs (written for himself and others).


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

Morimur said:


>


The quality of Sweet Brown's _speaking_ in the actual interview is so fully and astoundingly _musical,_ i.e. inflection, phrasing, and all, that any remix could not do it justice.

I love the clip for when Ms. Brown is just speaking -- because it is spontaneous and incredible _downright operatic_ musical art! Watch and listen for that alone, and don't even bother with the remix.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

_*The Little Drummer Boy*_ deserves a high ranking on this "Cheesiest" list.


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## Jos (Oct 14, 2013)

Has John Denver been mentioned yet...?


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