# Your Parents



## ArtMusic (Jan 5, 2013)

I am curious. Your parents - which category?

Thank you for participating. Thank you for sharing.


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

My parents were happily married throughout my childhood and subsequent years. Their marriage ended after 43 years, when my mother died in 1992 (cancer). My father passed away in 2013. I have fond memories of family life.


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## brotagonist (Jul 11, 2013)

I don't have a clue what the second choice is supposed to mean


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## senza sordino (Oct 20, 2013)

My parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last year. I'll turn 50 later this year.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

My parents were 'happily married' for 28 years until my father died suddenly of a heart attack when he was 48. My mother (still alive, 94) never remarried. 
However, we six children did not really experience a happy childhood, as my father (despite being intelligent, funny & charismatic) was very domineering and had a violent temper - part of that could be put down to a dysfunctional childhood in the slums of Dundee, part to his own personality, and part to having been an army boxer in WWII. All those punches couldn't have done his head much good, and of course he'd been encouraged to *work up* his aggressive tendencies.

However, I had a very firm example of monogamy put before me, and have tried to follow it.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

brotagonist said:


> I don't have a clue what the second choice is supposed to mean


I think T.S means; if you left your parental home long time ago, to live on your own.:cheers:


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## GreenMamba (Oct 14, 2012)

Pugg said:


> I think T.S means; if you left your parental home long time ago, to live on your own.:cheers:


So does the first choice imply we still live at home?


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

I'm pretty sure you would have annoyed my parents.


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## ArtMusic (Jan 5, 2013)

I meant to say the second choice for those who grew up with married parents but for some reason spent much time away from them. Maybe because the child was institutionalized, moved out of home for some reason, went to boarding school etc.


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## Figleaf (Jun 10, 2014)

What is 'don't know other parent'? Don't ever see them, or don't know who they are? 

Plenty of parents were never married in the first place, or not to the other parent of their child anyway. My great grandmother (1903-97) was an unmarried mother: she had to go away for a few years with her daughter, presumably until the fuss had died down, then they returned to the village and 'Granna' married a different man, with whom she went on to have two further children. Family life was complicated, even in the 20s and 30s!

My parents have been married since their early twenties. Very conservative, rather severe. The era of free love seems to have made little impression on them. My life has been slightly different: my children would need to write an essay to answer ArtMusic's question!


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## Levanda (Feb 3, 2014)

Please meet on this photo my mum and dad. My mum been divorced him but after he came back. Sadly I lost my dad when I was 7 years old, he drowned into the river too much Vodka he had, he liked drink. My mum used get nuts on him. His was little naughty man. My mum I lost her about 4 years ago she passed away cancer done to her. Another interesting my mum and dad was deaf and I grow up in my youth with deaf community.


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

Mom and Dad were married throughout my youth and subsequent adult years. They were nearing their 50th anniversary when my Dad died in early 1990. Mom died a little over a year later in 1991. Being an organist, I played for both of their respective funeral services ... two of the most difficult and emotional church services I have ever played in my life. 

Decades later I still remember all the family times at home. 

Kh


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## Jeff W (Jan 20, 2014)

Divorced. And that is all I'm going to say about that.


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## Lukecash12 (Sep 21, 2009)

Divorced when I was 9. When they told me it was going to happen I was incredulous and didn't believe them. It wasn't so much a distressed emotion of disbelief, as it was that the idea was foreign to me and I didn't understand it. My parents and peers took kind of a back seat in my mental formation anyways, bless their hearts they tried but we couldn't really relate at all. But I am glad I wasn't institutionalized, because at the very least I needed their company and I certainly had that.


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## MoonlightSonata (Mar 29, 2014)

Married for fifteen years.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Married for 31 years and still in love.
I hope I can follow their footsteps with my own partner , so far so good :kiss:


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## SarahNorthman (Nov 19, 2014)

My parents never were married, and they didn't get along very well either. Dad was never around, though he passed away when I was 19.


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## Ilarion (May 22, 2015)

I come from a shattered family - only child.


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## Xaltotun (Sep 3, 2010)

Married for 40+ years, constantly arguing with each other, constantly in love with each other!


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## Proms Fanatic (Nov 23, 2014)

There was a TED-ed lecture I heard/saw that suggested that couples who argue about trivial things are more likely to stay together. 

They measured the "tolerance level" of each person. If you had a higher tolerance, that meant that it took more for you to get angry/annoyed and say something to your partner. A lower tolerance level means that less serious things will cause you to react negatively towards your partner.

The thought is that if you show your annoyance at minor things, these issues get aired out and while there might be a slight negative feeling that comes of this, things don't fester whereas with higher tolerance couples, the little issues didn't get sorted and at some point there would be a maelstrom of negativity more likely leading to a divorce.


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## SarahNorthman (Nov 19, 2014)

Proms Fanatic said:


> There was a TED-ed lecture I heard/saw that suggested that couples who argue about trivial things are more likely to stay together.
> 
> They measured the "tolerance level" of each person. If you had a higher tolerance, that meant that it took more for you to get angry/annoyed and say something to your partner. A lower tolerance level means that less serious things will cause you to react negatively towards your partner.
> 
> The thought is that if you show your annoyance at minor things, these issues get aired out and while there might be a slight negative feeling that comes of this, things don't fester whereas with higher tolerance couples, the little issues didn't get sorted and at some point there would be a maelstrom of negativity more likely leading to a divorce.


I watch far to many TED lectures for school but this is pretty interesting.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

It makes sense. If you're the sort of person who remarks on things when you're annoyed, the last thing you want is a silent response. Somebody who argues back - or who remarks on things when s/he's annoyed - is on the same wavelength. These little bits of argy-bargy can become an art form, so long as they are about trivial things.


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## isorhythm (Jan 2, 2015)

Still married after more than 30 years, seem to be doing well.


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## Triplets (Sep 4, 2014)

Lukecash12 said:


> Divorced when I was 9. When they told me it was going to happen I was incredulous and didn't believe them. It wasn't so much a distressed emotion of disbelief, as it was that the idea was foreign to me and I didn't understand it. My parents and peers took kind of a back seat in my mental formation anyways, bless their hearts they tried but we couldn't really relate at all. But I am glad I wasn't institutionalized, because at the very least I needed their company and I certainly had that.


 Mine divorced when I was 17. The State that I grew up in did not have no fault divorce until I was that age. My mother tried
to get a divorce when I was 7 but the Court denied it (this sounds really crazy in this day and age). They were maried 23 years but most of them were turbulent. I remember a great sense of relief when they finally split.
I moved to another state and was married for almost that long before I divorced. I had 3 kids and my parents would come to visit together, and I didn't realize until around the time of my divorce that my children didn't realize that their grandparents were no longer married.


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## Albert7 (Nov 16, 2014)

My biological parents are still around and married living in Kentucky.

I appreciate all they have done in my life. However, the years of physical abuse have wreaked havoc on my life for years.

In fact, my biological mother got arrested for nearly beating my younger sister into a pulp when she returned back from Harvard and told my mom that she was dating a Hispanic guy. I've been nearly stabbed with a kitchen knife a few times, beaten on the hands with a cheerleader baton, and isolated in a bathroom for six-eight hours sessions without light or sound, and got tossed out into the winter ice and snow around 12 years old when I told my parents that I wanted to become a chess grandmaster. I was banned for playing chess for many years in the household.

These experiences have made me more of a social activist and a supporter for human rights.

In fact, I haven't seen my parents since 2000. I live with my stepdad guardian now.

I do miss the family trips and wonderful food as a kid and classical music exposure. I don't miss the strict upbringing or hyper-violence of the proto Asian family.

As a father now, I have avoided all of those parenting approaches as a peaceful Buddhist. Being a good example.


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## Tristan (Jan 5, 2013)

My parents have been happily married for 25 years


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## ArtMusic (Jan 5, 2013)

Albert7 said:


> My biological parents are still around and married living in Kentucky.
> 
> I appreciate all they have done in my life. However, the years of physical abuse have wreaked havoc on my life for years.
> 
> ...


Sheesh! That was child abuse.

I'm glad to read you have chosen a different way to raise your own children. Thank you for sharing.


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## Rehydration (Jun 25, 2013)

My parents married about 25 years ago and the marriage is still going strong!


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## Weston (Jul 11, 2008)

I came from a very traditional 1950s nuclear family. Two parents of different genders, one sibling. There was no thought or hint of strife or separation. My parents are now deceased. My sister and I are fairly close, though she lives in another state now. I live as a bit of a recluse having what the doctor refers to as mild social anxiety, but my friends call it severe. I call it normal. I still miss my parents.


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## georgedelorean (Aug 18, 2017)

Parents separated in 1993, divorce was finalized in 1995.


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

Parents married and started a family once dad was de-mobbed from the Royal Navy in 1946. Married for nearly thirty years until dad's death in 1975 aged 53. Mum re-married in the 1990s and lost her second husband about 10 years ago. Mum herself died only last year aged 91 after outliving not just her two husbands but also losing her two eldest children in 2012 and 2013.


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## Flamme (Dec 30, 2012)

Levanda said:


> View attachment 71129
> 
> 
> Please meet on this photo my mum and dad. My mum been divorced him but after he came back. Sadly I lost my dad when I was 7 years old, he drowned into the river too much Vodka he had, he liked drink. My mum used get nuts on him. His was little naughty man. My mum I lost her about 4 years ago she passed away cancer done to her. Another interesting my mum and dad was deaf and I grow up in my youth with deaf community.


Such a heart warming story Lev hope you come back! :angel:
Btw. mine are divorced.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Married. Both deceased.


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## JSBach85 (Feb 18, 2017)

My parents are married and retired from 2015. 

Now, I want to ask you a question, please do not take this as offensive, I also do not want to disturb you in any way. Have you ever lost a parent? I mean, do you have a dead parent? My parents are getting older and despite I do not want to talk about it, I am aware, I will lose them one day...


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## Merl (Jul 28, 2016)

Both still alive and living in New Zealand. Married for 50 years. I had a typical working class upbringing in Manchester. Bath night Sunday, mam's home-made chips and Saturday afternoon at my Nana's in Salford until I got onto football and hit my teens. I have nothing to complain about.


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## Granate (Jun 25, 2016)

I can't vote in the thread due to the particular civil situation of my parents.

They have been until today a formal couple, unmarried. My mother is single and my father, divorced from long before. I *"guess"* that my faithfully catholic grandmother wasn't happy with the idea of my father getting divorced with a woman (I have never met). My parents got together and raised us. I think that is the reason that we are a pretty standard family of unmarried parents.

My father didn't really get along with my grandmother. I loved her. I miss her.


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