# We dont know when we die but we live like we wont die. Is it not strange?



## atsizat (Sep 14, 2015)

I met a friend on a local bodybuilding website when I used to work out. The guy was living in the same city as me. We became friends adding each other on facebook. We were sharing our everything and so on. Then one day, he stopped writting me on facebook. I learnt he was murdered. Shock! He was 23. 

We dont know when we die. We can die any time. Thats what I believe.


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## chill782002 (Jan 12, 2017)

I'm very sorry to hear that. Makes me think of a very dear friend of mine who was killed in a car accident aged only 24. Nearly 20 years ago now but I still miss him. If there's a lesson to be learned, it's that one should make the most of life as no-one knows just how long they have left.


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## Guest (Oct 16, 2018)

Sadly, at times like losing someone close to you makes us stop and think how fragile life can be. 

I remember many years ago at work one of our colleagues didn't turn up for work, and we learned later that day that he was found dead at his home. We did know that he suffered from bad headaches from time to time, so whether he had a tumor or a subarachniod haemorrhage, was never confirmed , he was only in his 30's.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Yes, every breath we take may be our last, be it murder, heart attack, brain aneurysm, or something else. I remember about 15 years ago a lady left the office (not my office but a couple blocks away) early, perhaps for some special plans, walked out into the street and got run over by a bus that was making a speedy left turn and did not see her. It was the end for her. Then there are the times I know I almost got killed, but for some last minute thing, so minimal yet so important, that stopped me from walking into death's door. Surely the hand of God is present keeping me until my number is up.

And perhaps the weirdest story I heard was about a guy who dropped dead at his retirement celebration, falling face first into the retirement cake. Needless to say, nobody there ate cake that day.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

I think we develop strategies for living for a very good reason: That’s how we spend all but a moment of our lives. Young or old, healthy or sick, we’re still alive. Dying takes just a moment and needs no strategy because it pretty much takes care of itself.


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

When you get to old age you just have to banish the thought of death from your mind (not easy) and take one day at a time.


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## Room2201974 (Jan 23, 2018)

The perfect song for this thread, Neil Finn's _Anytime_.






"I could go at anytime 
There's nothing safe about this life"


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

We live like we won't die because living in constant fear of death is not really living.


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## atsizat (Sep 14, 2015)

Couchie said:


> We live like we won't die because living in constant fear of death is not really living.


We may die any day, though.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

atsizat said:


> We may die any day, though.


We tend to put it out of our minds until something wakes the thought, like a close call or a serious illness.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

Thinking of all the brushes with the Grim Reaper I've had - things like being t-boned by a semi on the freeway, almost killed in the ER by a careless nurse - I'm surprised I've lasted this long. But now I take every day as a gift. I don't think true living is in nervously cramming every minute of life with some event/place/food item but in living like I've already entered eternity, and now every moment is the most important one. I guess that's why I connect with Morton Feldman's music.


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

A friend told me about a month before he died "I don't fear death but dieing terrifies me"


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## atsizat (Sep 14, 2015)

Dan Ante said:


> A friend told me about a month before he died "I don't fear death but dieing terrifies me"


How did he die?


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

We're all going to die. Some time, somehow. So why not just enjoy the journey and not worry about the destination?


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Nobody gets out alive! 

We need to know what happens next.


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## Room2201974 (Jan 23, 2018)

Fritz Kobus said:


> Nobody gets out alive!
> 
> We need to know what happens next.


We know what happens next. The world keeps spinning without you in it.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

I find every death still very shocking and somehow inexplicable. 

My mother, who died last year aged 97, had a good innings and most of her life was happy, but it was probably time for her to go because she had dementia and it was getting much worse. All the same, I wish I could still visit and talk to her. 

I think Couchie is absolutely right. You have to banish the thought of death because it would be too depressing. At various points in my life I have been almost overwhelmed by 'Timor mortis' (my father died suddenly when I was 18) and it just takes the joy out of life. 

I am a Christian and I hope that there is something after, but whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong, it seems important to make sure I'm not just drifting, that I'm trying to achieve or create something, and trying to help other people and appreciate beauty and human love. 

Oddly, the awareness of death, if not allowed to loom paralysingly large, can help me in my quest to lead a fulfilling and worthwhile life. 
I think that was why the ancient Romans had a skeleton in their dining room mosaics - to remind them to enjoy food and companionship while they had it. 

One of the most shocking deaths that has affected me was of a 29-year-old man who was once in my English A-level Class. He died in an accident, stepping back to take a photograph while on a mountain walk with friends - this is actually a common accident, and one of my (older) friends from teacher training died about a year later in a similar occurrence, but he was 66 at the time. I was, of course, very sad when my teaching friend died, because after all, we'd been friends for 35 years. 

But this young man, my former student, was somebody I'd known only for a few months of English classes. Yet I will always remember and feel affection for him. He was just so witty and warm and empathetic that a sort of radiance surrounded him. He was special, and I think anyone who knew him will feel the same as me.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Room2201974 said:


> We know what happens next. The world keeps spinning without you in it.


That much is common knowledge, but you really don't know what happens to you after that.


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## chill782002 (Jan 12, 2017)

My late grandmother was a steadfast atheist and even had a humanist funeral when she died. She and I shared a somewhat macabre sense of humour and we made an agreement that, if there was an afterlife and were she able to do so, she would let me know. Somehow. There was no firm agreement as to how this was to be communicated but she told me that I would be in no doubt. This has not happened to date, although she has been dead for 11 years, but perhaps she is simply not in a position to fulfil our agreement. For whatever reason.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

Ingélou said:


> I am a Christian and I hope that there is something after, but whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong, it seems important to make sure I'm not just drifting, that I'm trying to achieve or create something, and trying to help other people and appreciate beauty and human love.


I feel the same way. As a Christian, whatever happens in the afterlife is something out of my control, but whatever happens in this life is a result of receiving grace from God now and responding in thanks and, as you said, contributing with creativity and living in community.


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## Strange Magic (Sep 14, 2015)

Famous Woody Allen quote: "It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."


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## Room2201974 (Jan 23, 2018)

Fritz Kobus said:


> That much is common knowledge, but you really don't know what happens to you after that.


How can something "happen" to you when your dead? Yes, I know, there will be a certain amount of decomposition. I'm prepared for that, as long as it doesn't extend to my middle period songs I'm ok with it.


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## Strange Magic (Sep 14, 2015)

> Ingelou: "I think Couchie is absolutely right. You have to banish the thought of death because it would be too depressing. At various points in my life I have been almost overwhelmed by 'Timor mortis' (my father died suddenly when I was 18) and it just takes the joy out of life."


Couchie posted that thinking about death all the time was not living; he did not say that one should banish the thought of death. I agree with him. I (like everyone sane) am somewhat apprehensive about dying and death, as one might be who has never gone to the dentist but has heard bad things about it--fear of the unknown. Will it be painful? But I am somewhat comforted by the deathbed statement of Richard Feynman as he lay dying of an obscure cancer: "I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring." I'm also comforted that the probability of my post-death "experience" will be an oblivion equal to that which enveloped me prior to birth (or conception, if you will), is asymptotically close to 100%. I also draw some comfort in being quite sure what malady will take me off. As far as we can tell, only humans worry about these things, though some animals do appear to grieve the loss through death of their companions (elephants, for instance).


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

atsizat said:


> How did he die?


The big C...........................


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Strange Magic said:


> Couchie posted that thinking about death all the time was not living; he did not say that one should banish the thought of death. I agree with him. I (like everyone sane) am somewhat apprehensive about dying and death, as one might be who has never gone to the dentist but has heard bad things about it--fear of the unknown. Will it be painful? But I am somewhat comforted by the deathbed statement of Richard Feynman as he lay dying of an obscure cancer: "I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring." I'm also comforted that the probability of my post-death "experience" will be an oblivion equal to that which enveloped me prior to birth (or conception, if you will), is asymptotically close to 100%. I also draw some comfort in being quite sure what malady will take me off. As far as we can tell, only humans worry about these things, though some animals do appear to grieve the loss through death of their companions (elephants, for instance).


I think you're reading too much into the word 'banish'.

I only mean it in the sense that one shouldn't be dwelling on death. It's a metaphor.

Couchie said: 'We live like we won't die because living in constant fear of death is not really living.'

I totally agree with that - with the emphasis on the word 'constant'.

If you read further down my post, I point out that so long as it doesn't loom too large, awareness of death can help motivate a person to improve the way they live. :tiphat:


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## Strange Magic (Sep 14, 2015)

Ingélou said:


> I think you're reading too much into the word 'banish'.
> 
> I only mean it in the sense that one shouldn't be dwelling on death. It's a metaphor.
> 
> If you read further down my post, I say that so long as it doesn't loom too large, awareness of death can motivate a person to improve the way they live. :tiphat:


So be it. It's just that "banish" is one of those words like "perfect" or "total" or "unique" that does not easily admit of gradations .


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Strange Magic said:


> So be it. It's just that "banish" is one of those words like "perfect" or "total" or "unique" that does not easily admit of gradations .


:tiphat: Metaphors don't tend to admit gradations, and my mind works in metaphors. I'm a poet at heart.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

> Originally Posted by Ingélou View Post
> I am a Christian and I hope that there is something after, but whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong, it seems important to make sure I'm not just drifting, that I'm trying to achieve or create something, and trying to help other people and appreciate beauty and human love.





Manxfeeder said:


> I feel the same way. As a Christian, whatever happens in the afterlife is something out of my control, but whatever happens in this life is a result of receiving grace from God now and responding in thanks and, as you said, contributing with creativity and living in community.


What about 1 John 5:13 (KJV),
"These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God."

There are many more similar verses. A Christian should not have to live in fear with these assurances.


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## EdwardBast (Nov 25, 2013)

Strange Magic said:


> Famous Woody Allen quote: "It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."


Plenty of people aren't there when it happens. One of my neighbors died on top of our local mountain on an occasion he called "Happy Hour Friday." Last words: "These wine bottles [in his pack] didn't used to feel this heavy." Dead before he hit the ground. The last two generations of males in my family died at 78 after coming in from shoveling snow. Neither seemed to be present at the event.

As for the afterlife: I assume my awareness of the next 4 billion years after I die will be pretty much the same as that for the 4 billion preceding my birth.


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

To be honest, I'm more afraid of life and the multitude of sufferings of the most varied and imaginative kinds that it's capable of bringing to a living being, some of which I have already seen, others experienced myself and some others probably which I'm yet to see and experience. The ones that don't kill you are actually the ones I fear, death just kills you and it's simply over.


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2018)

When we die, won't our brains basically just be shutting off? As far as I know, I won't be able to feel anything after I die so death itself won't be much of a problem for me. I won't be alive to miss people I lived with. Sounds pretty painless to me, although I am not in any rush to get there. It'll come when it comes and I'll just do my best to enjoy life for what it is, making living something pleasurable for me and the people around me. That's kind of the point, isn't it?


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

aleazk said:


> To be honest, I'm more afraid of life and the multitude of sufferings of the most varied and imaginative kinds that it's capable of bringing to a living being, some of which I have already seen, others experienced myself and some others probably which I'm yet to see and experience. The ones that don't kill you are actually the ones I fear, death just kills you and it's simply over.


This. I fear pain, and a painful death would be quite bad, but if it wasn't painful I would be okay. It's the suffering of life that is really hard to go through, and for some, it's enough to have thoughts of suicide. It's also interesting how death inspires more death in the sense that a death of someone you love may be the ultimate pain in life, enough to make you want to die as well. It's contagious.

As financial advisor, I've had these kinds of dark conversations with clients, especially to do with life insurance. Earlier this summer, I saw my first death certificate from someone filing a death claim, and it made me feel sick inside to look at it. I was looking at a life set in stone. All of us who are still alive, the ending hasn't yet been written. We still have a chance to do something different in our lives, to be different people. But for that guy, his ending was written. Set in stone. The end. No going back. *shudders*


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

shirime said:


> When we die, won't our brains basically just be shutting off? As far as I know, I won't be able to feel anything after I die so death itself won't be much of a problem for me. I won't be alive to miss people I lived with. Sounds pretty painless to me, although I am not in any rush to get there. It'll come when it comes and I'll just do my best to enjoy life for what it is, making living something pleasurable for me and the people around me. That's kind of the point, isn't it?


The brain gets _completely destroyed_, not merely 'shut off'


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

If you actually take time to think about immortality and the doom of what living forever without any possible escape would entail, the thought of death is relaxing and comforting. Without death, life would not be life. It would merely be a directionless state of existing. The passing of time could not be ascertained. Without a conception of time, causes would not have effects, but merely be a juxtaposition of phenomena towards no end. Purpose could therefore not exist. So let's be thankful for death. Death does not deprive life of meaning, but is what *gives* life meaning.


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## Luchesi (Mar 15, 2013)

Couchie said:


> If you actually take time to think about immortality and the doom of what living forever without any possible escape would entail, the thought of death is relaxing and comforting. Without death, life would not be life. It would merely be a directionless state of existing. The passing of time could not be ascertained. Without a conception of time, causes would not have effects, but merely be a juxtaposition of phenomena towards no end. Purpose could therefore not exist. So let's be thankful for death. Death does not deprive life of meaning, but is what *gives* life meaning.


According to the biological view, lifespans and preprogrammed death for individuals was invented by the evolutionary process about 800 million years ago.

It offered a clear advantage for all the species which descended from the earliest, lucky population. There are very few lines of descent today which did okay, in the extreme competition for survival, without it. And so, most all later descendants retained the survival advantage of limited and prescribed life spans. Each genera then evolved a lifespan that was adequately advantageous for survival for their particular lifestyle and etc.

You can look up the Grandmother Theory to see a reasoning as to why our human lifespans are quite exceptional.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Death, the great equalizer!


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

From the late great James Thurber. I saw this as a kid and it gave me pause even then.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Another, unrelated to the thread topic (I think).


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## Luchesi (Mar 15, 2013)

KenOC said:


> Another, unrelated to the thread topic (I think).


I don't get it. What is the little guy doing?


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Luchesi said:


> I don't get it. What is the little guy doing?


Thurber was big on the battle of the sexes. It's something we don't talk about much any more.


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## Luchesi (Mar 15, 2013)

KenOC said:


> Thurber was big on the battle of the sexes. It's something we don't talk about much any more.


Okay, a kinda living death for the little husband..

from wiki

When Thurber was seven years old, he and one of his brothers were playing a game of William Tell, when his brother shot James in the eye with an arrow.[2] He lost that eye, and the injury later caused him to become almost entirely blind. He was unable to participate in sports and other activities in his childhood because of this injury, but he developed a creative mind which he used to express himself in writings.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Luchesi said:


> I don't get it. What is the little guy doing?


Thinking, "should I go in the house or crawl under the porch."


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## Luchesi (Mar 15, 2013)

Fritz Kobus said:


> Thinking, "should I go in the house or crawl under the porch."


Porch is another funny word in English.

Middle English: from Old French porche, from Latin porticus 'colonnade', from porta 'passage'.

added ... but Beethoven is "beet yard"


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