# Anton: Chapter 10



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

The next day, Anton asked one of his servants to go to Katerina's home at noon with the letter, which he signed his name on as well as her own. It would be for her eyes only, no matter who answered at the door.
When the messenger came back, he reported that only Katerina was there to see, and she immediately sequestered herself back into the house without a word. All Anton could do was wait. But what was there to wait for? Should he expect a response? Furthermore, did he want one? She didn't even know where he lived.
Anton tried to practice piano and compose that day, and yet his mind wandered excessively. It was a hot day in the city, and Anton wanted to get out as soon as possible himself, since he had a little cottage in the country that he had just bought. There, he would be in perfect solitude, and probably be able to focus on composing better than he was then.
"Is this always going to be the case?" he wondered. "Is Katerina going to distract my thoughts so much that I can't do anything else? That can't be right! Love isn't like that... well, shouldn't stay that way."
One thing to finally break his restless mood was Sergei visiting unexpectedly.
"Anton! I have great news!" he said immediately coming into the foyer. "Our friends from St. Petersburg [as he liked to call Alexander and Anatol] are coming to visit here again! They are having concerts now here, as they made some deals last time they were here to arrange. Won't it be great to hear their orchestral works? They may have a chamber concert as well... are you feeling alright Anton?"
"I am alright, and I'm glad they are coming here. Do you know when?"
"3 weeks from now, and concerts will follow. But really, what is it? No wait, don't tell me... something has happened." Sergei's emphasizing that word that way could only imply Katerina.
"Worse. I'm on the brink of something happening."
"What is it?"
Arensky walked some steps away from him and looked out the window.
"She knows now. Right this moment. What could she be thinking?"
"You've made a proposal?"
"Proposal?" Arensky suddenly cried. "I can't even think of getting to that point this moment! All I want is... her to know, and acknowledge me."
"You are leading her that way though, aren't you?"
"I guess I am."
"But are you sure?"
"... I don't know."
Sergei frowned. "You should be careful Anton. Relationships are not games-"
"You're not the one to tell me that!" Anton snapped, and then sat down in a chair, looking dismal.
Sergei stood there quietly with a whimsical look. "You may be right. You are a sincere man, Anton. Use it for your benefit. But... she is a nice girl, very thoughtful and kind. I think she would be your type."
"Yes."
Sergei left one of his new piano compositions with Anton to take look at it, and then he left. Anton did play through it a few times, but again his mind wandered, and he simply lied down on his couch to brood over his thoughts. The air was thick and dark, even in his own home. It was late afternoon, and he fell asleep.
When finally the sun set some hours later, and the streets began to get dark, Anton was awaken by a knock at his door. The servants had all left having done their work, and Anton was all alone, so he cautiously got up and checked outside who it was. He immediately opened the door once he saw who it was.
There stood Katerina, her eyes grave but shining.
"Katerina!" Anton exclaimed. "How did you...?"
"Find where you lived? It took me all day."
Katerina let herself in as Anton stepped back. She was wearing a beautiful dark red dress intricately designed, and a black hat, shawl and gloves.
Silently, they took seats in Anton's salon across from each other, watching their every move.
"From..." Katerina began speaking softly and dreamily, "the moment I saw you first some months ago, and you found me in that club, I... I already sensed something. You were no ordinary man. And... you had awakened something inside me, something I didn't know. So many men around me pursue me all the time, especially back in Germany. I always know it. But now, something is different. I'm... I'm not repulsed."
She smiled weakly, her face having grown quite pale, and laughed nervously.
"I've come here on my own accord. I didn't tell my parents. But they don't need to know. This is my... decision."
At this point, she took from her shawl a piece of folded paper. It was the poem.
"Once and for all, I will ask you a question, I want you to answer sincerely," her voice was shaky.
"I will."
Katerina unfolded the paper, and showed it to Anton.
"You... you... mean to..."
"Court you? Yes, if you'll allow me."
Katerina was breathless. Although she was white as a sheet, she stood up and fell to his feet.
"Take me away."
"What?"
"Anywhere! Bring me wherever you want! Just take me away! I don't want to go back to Germany! I want to stay here forever! With... you!"
Anton stood up and lifted her up, and suddenly Katerina fell into his arms, grasping him tightly. They had never touched this way before, and Anton was shocked.
"I don't belong there, Anton, I never did! Always in my soul, I felt I belonged here! I have Russian blood in me, somehow, I know it!"
"But even if you didn't, dearest Katerina, it would not change my opinion of you. I love you with all my heart."
"I knew it!" she moaned, gripping him tightly. Suddenly she let go and took a step away.
"Tonight. Take me away. I am ready for anything."
"But how can you say such a thing! Won't you alienate your family?"
"What's their use to me?" she snapped. "They wouldn't approve of us."
"What?" Anton started. "Why ever not?"
"I'm already to be betrothed. It's all been arranged. I am to marry into the business. The last heir of the Stellovsky publishing company."
"_No!_"
"Yes! And if I don't leave now, I will never be with you. I will be engaged to this other German, and he will come here too."
"Couldn't your family change its mind?"
"I don't know."
"But I can't possibly put you at risk like this, Katerina. Not when I want to make a contract with your father's business."
"Oh, how could I forget!" she suddenly exclaimed. "I should have remembered! Yes, that's an important point. Oh bother!" she sat down again and covered her face.
"The best you can do is... ask."
"Yes..."
Anton was full of compassion but also confusion. Here she was, and she was his emotionally, but now the truth was revealed that things may not go as he wanted.
He sat next to her and embraced her more tenderly than before.
"Ask. For me. I want you, but I want you rightly. I will ask your father too."
"No matter what happens Anton... I want you to know, I will love only you."
Anton smiled, but only for a moment. He was so consumed with emotion he kissed her fully on the mouth.
If anything Anton remembered the rest of his life, it was that Katerina at that moment returned his affection nearly more than himself.


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