# Codgers, Cliff Richard and the half-dead fish



## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

My brain has a life of its own. It enjoys mulling over my music progress in the dead of night, uttering cynical sighs, winking sardonically,and laughing its socks off.

I had been practising a piece on the piano from one of the children's starter books called 'Winter Song', and at about half-past two one morning last week I was woken from slumber with a loud rendition of Cliff Richard's Christmas No. 1 trundling through my mind - 
*Christ*mas time! *Mis*tletoe and wine...

(Fate worse than death!)

Just before I switched on my bedside lamp, I had a light-bulb moment. That was what Winter Song really *is* - and Cliff Richard was doing the usual thing of dressing up a folksong into a pop song. Just like the other day, when Figleaf posted an Elvis song and I realised that the tune was 'Shenandoah' with a few fancy fal-lals...

Pleased with the surprised disgust that its small-hours sally had produced, my brain cooked up another humiliating scheme as we walked round Willco the next day, looking at the kitchenware.

Suddenly I found myself singing, 'Until then, I'll be a *Spatula* Boy, and that's the way to stay. Happy to be a *Spatula* Boy until my dying day...' :lol:

Today I took another look at a children's book that I have. The author says that the tunes are 'specially composed and arranged' for the children she envisages using it. 
'Specially *arranged*, maybe,' I snorted (inaudibly). That protestation may fool a Child, but it doesn't fool a *Codger *with an MA in folksong study. I recognise almost every tune as an Eastern European folksong, so - 'specially composed'? Humph!

I have several children's bits and pieces to work on now, from various books decorated with frogs, kittens, teddy bears, and merry brats with skipping ropes. Nursery rhymes and children's game-songs are common in these books, as well as folksongs. I got rather stuck over Christmas on 'One-Two-Three-Four-Five - Once I caught a fish alive'. Except that the way that I play it, with funereal hiccups, the only way I will ever catch the fish is if it's bumped its head on an overhanging branch while leaping for a midge, and has then plummeted to the stream-bed, dazed, and on the verge of entering Trout Nirvana.

I had a not-very-good lesson with Rho this week. A young child who's doing rather well had to be entered for a grade exam, and her parent was arranging this with Rho - the entries have to be in this week. I was left waiting for over ten minutes in an anteroom - which I didn't mind - with the Child, who, like all bright kids, was into everything; I had to scour up all my old teaching skills to distract the Child from pulling the dog's tail, twisting his paws, and plunging into Rho's bookcase or molesting Rho's children's toys.

I didn't mind this either, but what I did mind was when Rho wasted the first five minutes of my lesson apologising - explaining over and over why she'd had to keep me waiting - and extolling the Child's gifts, at one point assuring me that she wasn't going to compare me with the prodigy and didn't expect me to be perfect. Ridiculous - I of all people know that a child will be much quicker than me, and I am not out to prove anything by learning the piano. I smiled politely as the torrent of nervous chat went on - Rho is very like me in that respect!  But it did annoy me a little, with the result that I became an even poorer player than usual.

(Memo to Music Teachers - Do not use up an adult pupil's paid-for time with telling them about your star pupils and suggesting, however indirectly, that you find their progress 
more rewarding than the Codger you are currently dealing with. )

There came a break, and we started to discuss to speak about the exam situation for *me*, which brought Rho inevitably back to The Gifted Child - at which point I said, 'Enough about that - let's concentrate on *me* now!'

This was not received well, which made me feel even tenser, and eventually Rho asked me if I'd like to go away and come back later, as I obviously wasn't coping well today. This was *Danger Signal! *- I don't want to fall out with Taggart's piano teacher - so again, I called up my teaching skills, and managed to smooth things down so we were on jolly terms again.

Teaching is 80% acting, as any fule kno.


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## Figleaf (Jun 10, 2014)

Mistletoe and Wine is a folk song?!  

I'm impressed by your folk song spotting detective work. There really is nothing new under the sun!

Music teachers do seem very inclined towards favouritism- perhaps understandably, since someone with a sensitive ear is going to prefer listening to the most adept student performers over the more ordinary or less advanced ones- but there was no need for yours to be so unhelpful! I've known music teachers only socially and dated a couple, and they do have a tendency to rave about their star pupils, though I would hope they don't do this in front of the others.

Here's hoping this is only a blip and your lessons will be more enjoyable in future!


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Thanks, Figleaf!
Mistletoe and Wine isn't a folksong, but the tune is a folk tune that's been adapted. I didn't realise that myself until my brain told me! 
I remember when I was a child, a touring violin teacher gave us a little concert and played 'Wooden Heart' which we immediately identified - then he told us that it was a traditional German song. 
When Rho is apologetic, she talks too much, just like me, so I suppose I should be more indulgent... 
Are you going to write a blog about singers? I do hope so!


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