# Worst album covers



## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

I found this fun page dedicated to the worst album covers in history (and be warned that some of them can probably kill a cow at fifty paces):

http://www.coverbrowser.com/covers/worst-album-covers

But they all seem to be covers for non-classical music! Are classical music album covers really always tasteful? Surely there must be some cringe-worthy ones out there?

This thread is for the discussion of bad taste in album covers, and, preferably, to post some really bad ones. Or to just veer completely off topic as we always do here.


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## Nereffid (Feb 6, 2013)

This thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/24560-worst-covers-ive-ever.html


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Since the thread is a repeat, I'll repeat my all-time favorite.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Nereffid said:


> This thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/24560-worst-covers-ive-ever.html


And it isn't even a very old thread. Oops!

Oh well, one really should have a repeat of such a fun thread every few months, if you ask me...


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Another bad blast from the past


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## schuberkovich (Apr 7, 2013)

I have a stronger aversion to unflattering performer photos than to oddly used artwork.
Like this photo of Gidon "Cheeky Chipmunk" Kremer:








And of Murray "Well-Arranged Hair" Perahia:


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## TitanisWalleri (Dec 30, 2012)

I find this one to be attrocious.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

TitanisWalleri said:


> View attachment 22538
> 
> 
> I find this one to be attrocious.


I never knew there even is such a thing as a romantic trombone concerto.


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## TitanisWalleri (Dec 30, 2012)

brianvds said:


> I never knew there even is such a thing as a romantic trombone concerto.


You, sir or madam, have never listened to Morceau Symphonique!


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## quack (Oct 13, 2011)

What is it with Lindberg, is he some kind of double agent working to discredit the trombone as a serious classical instrument:


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

Concerning Lindberg, also this


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## realdealblues (Mar 3, 2010)

joen_cph said:


> Concerning Lindberg, also this
> 
> View attachment 22544


Looks like he's ready to star in an episode of Doctor Who or maybe the original Battlestar Galactica...or record an album with Devo.


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

not to mention RoboCop ...


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## bassClef (Oct 29, 2006)

KenOC said:


> Since the thread is a repeat, I'll repeat my all-time favorite.


Oh my good lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Radames (Feb 27, 2013)

I alwayd though the Lang Lang one for Beethoven piano concertos 1 and 4 was awful.


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## Garlic (May 3, 2013)

I hate those covers with just an airbrushed photo of the performer on the front. Pretty much every Hilary Hahn CD is like this.


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## Kleinzeit (May 15, 2013)

We did this a few months ago, but it bears repeating till the end of time:

http://jbw53191.blogspot.ca/2012/09/...ith-tones.html

The saga of the Faith Tones--same-sex marriage, a stay-away-from-me warrant from a moon astronaut, and death by parasitic twin fetus.

And the Shaggs get all the attention.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

joen_cph said:


> Concerning Lindberg, also this
> 
> View attachment 22544


"My God, it's full of trombones!"


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## ethanjamesescano (Aug 29, 2012)

KenOC said:


> Since the thread is a repeat, I'll repeat my all-time favorite.


They forgot to put powder!! haha!


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

There's always this one...


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## techniquest (Aug 3, 2012)

I detect some very overblown egos on some of these covers - though the 'Faith Tones' just seem to have overblown hair; reckon they may have caused the ozone layer problem on their own!


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

KenOC said:


> Since the thread is a repeat, I'll repeat my all-time favorite.


I just love the (surely unintended!?) double meaning here.

Same thing happened with these blokes:


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

bassClef said:


> Oh my good lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's the title of the first song on their album, by the way... :angel:


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## deggial (Jan 20, 2013)

brianvds said:


> I just love the (surely unintended!?) double meaning here.
> 
> Same thing happened with these blokes:
> 
> View attachment 22575


religious pop music has a tendency for camp:


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## deggial (Jan 20, 2013)

Kleinzeit said:


> We did this a few months ago, but it bears repeating till the end of time:
> 
> http://jbw53191.blogspot.ca/2012/09/...ith-tones.html
> 
> ...


the link needs fixing! I want to read the juicy details, I missed them last time.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Here in South Africa, bad taste in music and album covers has probably reached heights (or lows?) never achieved anywhere else. The Briel family was quite famous in their day; nowadays their records are more popular than ever, in the same way that Ed Wood's movies have become popular:









Pity I couldn't get a larger picture of that cover. For those curious about their music, here's a video:






It's in Afrikaans, but never mind, it gives a good idea of the kind of stuff they did. This particular song is a mawkish tale of a desperately poor girl on her way to Pretoria, where her mother is dying. The train conductor takes pity on her and lets her travel for free. Alas, they are too late and can only go visit the fresh grave. But the sad tale ends on a note of hope when the conductor takes her into his home; it is not clear whether as lover or daughter or, heaven help us, both.


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## Kleinzeit (May 15, 2013)

deggial said:


> the link needs fixing! I want to read the juicy details, I missed them last time.


relink (don't know why that previous one broke)

http://jbw53191.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-faith-tones.html


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## SimonNZ (Jul 12, 2012)

not classical but still one of my fave worsts:


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

SimonNZ said:


> not classical but still one of my fave worsts:


Okay, I'm going to have nightmares about it this evening...


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## bassClef (Oct 29, 2006)

brianvds said:


> That's the title of the first song on their album, by the way... :angel:


That figures, including the exclamation marks?


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## Borodin (Apr 8, 2013)

Whoops, stumbled into wrong thread.


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## LindnerianSea (Jun 5, 2013)

uhmmm...right. o_0


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

My least favorite are the repeats.

Brilliant Classics (2007)

View attachment 23117


Hyperion (2013)

View attachment 23118


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## CypressWillow (Apr 2, 2013)

brianvds said:


> Here in South Africa, bad taste in music and album covers has probably reached heights (or lows?) never achieved anywhere else. The Briel family was quite famous in their day; nowadays their records are more popular than ever, in the same way that Ed Wood's movies have become popular:
> 
> View attachment 22577
> 
> ...


Oh.my.gosh. This must be what they play in Hell. 
I'd better reform right quick and be a better person!


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

Here's a picture of Herbert von Karajan channeling William Shatner.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Manxfeeder said:


> Here's a picture of Herbert von Karajan channeling William Shatner.


Very typical Karajan though.


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## pcnog11 (Nov 14, 2016)

Radames said:


> View attachment 22557
> I alwayd though the Lang Lang one for Beethoven piano concertos 1 and 4 was awful.


I think Eschenbach did a good job of holding the orchestra together, so that Lang Lang can do his own thing on the concertos. In fact he is not bad in this recording.

I think they use this cover and try to have more appeal for the younger generation.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Manxfeeder said:


> Here's a picture of Herbert von Karajan channeling William Shatner.


Or perhaps it is Harry Potter's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher illustrating how you can use your wand in one hand to create a tattoo in the palm of the other.


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## PlaySalieri (Jun 3, 2012)

There was a mahler symphony on cbs records with Bernsteins ugly mug occupying the entire cover

http://img.cdandlp.com/2016/07/imgL/118225183.jpg

Brendel also seemed to think he was worth looking at.

http://store.acousticsounds.com/images/large/UPHI_9500145__74607__04122011045334-2485.jpg

Great musicians but arrogant self obsessed ********


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## CMonteverdi (May 2, 2014)

Vaneyes said:


> My least favorite are the repeats.
> 
> Brilliant Classics (2007)
> 
> ...


There's never too much Paul Klee...

LK


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

stomanek said:


> Brendel also seemed to think he was worth looking at.
> 
> http://store.acousticsounds.com/images/large/UPHI_9500145__74607__04122011045334-2485.jpg
> 
> Great musicians but arrogant self obsessed ********


I always thought he was really piling it on, affecting these tragic and tortured expressions when playing. But looking at that photo it now appears he looked like that all the time.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Manxfeeder said:


> Here's a picture of Herbert von Karajan channeling William Shatner.


My caption would read: As Maestro von Karajan gazes in the hand-held mirror:
"I just spent $20,000 on a facelift and I look less god-like than before!!!"


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## Alfacharger (Dec 6, 2013)

This cover of Hildegard Behrens as Elektra gives me the creeps.


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## Alfacharger (Dec 6, 2013)

Manxfeeder said:


> Here's a picture of Herbert von Karajan channeling William Shatner.


More like Jeremy Clarkson...


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## Richard8655 (Feb 19, 2016)

Billions and billions...


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Inspired by a medieval punishment where violinists who played poorly had their violins tied to their faces and were forced to run blindly through town while people hit them with stout cudgels. No longer practiced in most places.


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## jdec (Mar 23, 2013)

The great Mezzosoprano, Shakira:









And the last recording of the US Air Force Orchestra:









.................


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Removed to strange covers thread. Was not a worst cover but definitely strange.
post 445 at,
http://www.talkclassical.com/35675-strange-album-cd-covers-30.html


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

jdec said:


> The great Mezzosoprano, Shakira:
> 
> View attachment 90991
> 
> ...


Are you good at Photo Shopping.


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## S P Summers (Dec 23, 2016)

"Liebe Mutter..." by "Heino". Oh my god I fking died when I saw that. Maybe that's mean, but REALLY?!?!


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

S P Summers said:


> "Liebe Mutter..." by "Heino". Oh my god I fking died when I saw that. Maybe that's mean, but REALLY?!?!


Are you from down under?


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## jdec (Mar 23, 2013)

Pugg said:


> Are you good at Photo Shopping.


Not really, but I'm good at finding stuff on internet.


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## S P Summers (Dec 23, 2016)

Pugg said:


> Are you from down under?


Not quite- Ontario, Canada. I live about 3hrs north of Toronto.


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

S P Summers said:


> "Liebe Mutter..." by "Heino". Oh my god I fking died when I saw that. Maybe that's mean, but REALLY?!?!


I bought the album last year at a second hand market for one euro, just for fun.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

S P Summers said:


> Not quite- Ontario, Canada. I live about 3hrs north of Toronto.


That's more Up There instead of down under.
( From my point in the world speaking.)


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## S P Summers (Dec 23, 2016)

Art Rock said:


> I bought the album last year at a second hand market for one euro, just for fun.


Want to sell it? =P


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## S P Summers (Dec 23, 2016)

Pugg said:


> That's more Up There instead of down under.
> ( From my point in the world speaking.)


Where are you from? I've noticed that you seem to be quite active here, as well as being the one who initially welcomed me to these forums...


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## Sloe (May 9, 2014)

Richard8655 said:


> Billions and billions...
> 
> View attachment 90988


I like that cover.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

S P Summers said:


> Where are you from? I've noticed that you seem to be quite active here, as well as being the one who initially welcomed me to these forums...


From the Netherlands!


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## S P Summers (Dec 23, 2016)

Pugg said:


> From the Netherlands!


Cool, well thanks again for the warm welcome. I love your profile pic btw; very beautiful.


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## PlaySalieri (Jun 3, 2012)

S P Summers said:


> Cool, well thanks again for the warm welcome. I love your profile pic btw; very beautiful.


Pugg always uses a beautiful lady as an avatar

do these avatar reflect any reality? The username suggests no - not that t matters.

I must change my avatar - think I'll go for Nicola Benedetti - getting fed up with salieri


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

stomanek said:


> Pugg always uses a beautiful lady as an avatar
> 
> do these avatar reflect any reality? The username suggests no - not that t matters.
> 
> I must change my avatar - think I'll go for Nicola Benedetti - getting fed up with salieri


Ever heard of :* Renée Fleming......*










No resembles whatsoever, not even the same gender.


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## Barelytenor (Nov 19, 2011)

Yeah, somehow Renée Pugg doesn't have much of a ring to it. 

:tiphat:

Kind regards,

George


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2016)

Pugg said:


> Ever heard of :* Renée Fleming......*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


She's beautiful, but Callas is more beautiful.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Callas sings again in _Mozart in the Jungle_.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Leman said:


> She's beautiful, but Callas is more beautiful.


Dream on, she's 59 and still singing and shining trough out the world.


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## Guest (Dec 28, 2016)

Garlic said:


> I hate those covers with just an airbrushed photo of the performer on the front. Pretty much every Hilary Hahn CD is like this.


Hey! Some of us... well, one of us... love pictures of beautiful female musicians on the cover.


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## TooManyNotes (Jan 4, 2017)

Nothing makes me want to listen to classical music more than a sickly looking Rachmaninov against a pepto bismol colored background...


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## Marinera (May 13, 2016)

Rachmaninoff's equivalent of Cheshire cat's appearing out of thin air act.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

TooManyNotes said:


> View attachment 91257
> 
> 
> Nothing makes me want to listen to classical music more than a sickly looking Rachmaninov against a pepto bismol colored background...


A disembodied head!


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## Marinera (May 13, 2016)

^
yes, magic Rachmaninoff.. and maybe a little Sci Fi


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)




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## LP collector (Aug 6, 2016)

I claim first prize:


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Kind of a twisted situation for giving likes but I think we all understand nobody is necessarily liking the covers, but the likes are for the poster's effort ad finding these atrocious covers.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Any album cover that shows Jesus with a hole in his hand and blood gushing out of the wound. Because of matters of taste, I will not post any such album covers.


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## Mal (Jan 1, 2016)

I'm not catching that bird, I'm going nowhere near it!

Out of costume, dress down Friday:


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## Mal (Jan 1, 2016)

Tate: We're not having you in a punky outfit again.
Kennedy: ... and we're not having you dressed like a waiter.
EMI exec: Let's just put a famous English painting on the cover, here's the National Gallery catalogue and a pin...


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