# are you an introvert who feels awkward about everything ?



## LindnerianSea

Dear all,

having discovered this amusing link today, I have decided to share this with the TC family. 

1) are you an introvert ? 
2) if you are, any embarrassing/awkward/humiliating/(anything that makes introverts easily uncomfortable) stories to share that happened to you recently ?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/introverts-signs-am-i-introverted_n_3721431.html

So here I go first:
1) yes, terribly. 
2) Earlier today bumped into an acquaintance who was having a walk with his pet dog. As I did not expect to meet anyone especially in such a sudden manner, I panicked and ended up saying Hello to the dog instead.

Best,
LS


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## Lunasong

Every single one of these bullet points is true for me except #11. My husband is also an introvert and it is very quiet at our house as we are usually in separate rooms doing separate things and are quite comfortable doing so. The difference between us is he likes the TV on and I prefer it off.

The key thing to remember about introverts, as the article states, is that it is nothing about being shy or socially awkward. It is about whether social interaction drains energy from you or helps you regain it.


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## Blancrocher

Lunasong said:


> The key thing to remember about introverts, as the article states, is that it is nothing about being shy or socially awkward. It is about whether social interaction drains energy from you or helps you regain it.


Even so, I have my doubts about Lady Gaga being an introvert.


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## Vaneyes

Though I don't own one, I often talk to dogs as human beings. But they couldn't care less.


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## Lunasong

I think it is very possible because as an introvert, I am very comfortable talking or performing in front of large crowds as long as I am following the script or playing a role. Lady Gaga's whole persona is a role.
I'm happy at a party if I'm the person serving the drinks or cooking the hamburgers - as long as I have a defined role.
Don't ask me to be extemporaneous, though.

I am also much more comfortable being alone in a crowd than I would be in a conversation with just one other person.

LS's incident is indicative of being caught without a script for the situation, which is something I understand perfectly.


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## Blancrocher

Lunasong said:


> I think it is very possible because as an introvert, I am very comfortable talking or performing in front of large crowds as long as I am following the script. Don't ask me to be extemporaneous, though.
> 
> This is related to the incident LS spoke of above. There was no time to prepare for it.


I'll take your word for it--so that I don't start trying to find out about Lady Gaga's personal life!


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## Weston

I am on the extreme range of introversion, staying alone whenever possible. I do like people but they just wear me out, and there seems to be so many of them always wanting or expecting something from me or wanting to be around all the time. They also seem to want to babble on and on about nothing of interest as this is how they recharge, but it bores me to tears and sucks the energy right out of me. I'd be a complete recluse if I could afford it.

I'm also pretty sure I'm shy or have some sort of social anxiety which I'm convinced has nothing to do with being introverted. There's a big difference between abject terror and just wanting to get away to relax.

I'll have to think on an amusing story and get back with you.


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## Ondine

Wow... an absolute and compete introverted. I suspected that. It's OK. It has its own charm and enjoyment


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## LindnerianSea

Ondine said:


> Wow... an absolute and compete introverted. I suspected that. It's OK. It has its own charm and enjoyment


Mind you, the link is not the most scientific argument. But why not have a bit of fun ? 

You are absolutely right. Introverts have their charm. Look what I found. It can be a bit long (approx. 20 mins) but I found it very insightful. ta-ra~


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## LindnerianSea

Lunasong said:


> I think it is very possible because as an introvert, I am very comfortable talking or performing in front of large crowds as long as I am following the script or playing a role. Lady Gaga's whole persona is a role.
> I'm happy at a party if I'm the person serving the drinks or cooking the hamburgers - as long as I have a defined role.
> Don't ask me to be extemporaneous, though.
> 
> I am also much more comfortable being alone in a crowd than I would be in a conversation with just one other person.
> 
> LS's incident is indicative of being caught without a script for the situation, which is something I understand perfectly.


My father - a businessman (a huge extrovert) - still cannot understand me after all these years about my social awkwardness and my constant need for 'scripts'. oh well.

At least I have developed my own self-talk script which always goes on and on .... with the assistance of the Peep Show.


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## KenOC

How do you tell an extroverted classical music fan? When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.


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## Ondine

LindnerianSea said:


> Mind you, the link is not the most scientific argument. But why not have a bit of fun ?
> 
> You are absolutely right. Introverts have their charm. Look what I found. It can be a bit long (approx. 20 mins) but I found it very insightful. ta-ra~


Thanks @LinderianSea! I will listen to it.


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## drpraetorus

It seems most of these describe me. I'm not surprised. I've known what I am and accepted it since I was a kid.


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## moody

Weston said:


> I am on the extreme range of introversion, staying alone whenever possible. I do like people but they just wear me out, and there seems to be so many of them always wanting or expecting something from me or wanting to be around all the time. They also seem to want to babble on and on about nothing of interest as this is how they recharge, but it bores me to tears and sucks the energy right out of me. I'd be a complete recluse if I could afford it.
> 
> I'm also pretty sure I'm shy or have some sort of social anxiety which I'm convinced has nothing to do with being introverted. There's a big difference between abject terror and just wanting to get away to relax.
> 
> I'll have to think on an amusing story and get back with you.


It's best to keep away from them ,they mostly have nothing to say anyway.


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## BlackDahlia

I was once an extrovert, having to be around people; to the point that if nothing memorable or remarkable was happening, I would be the one to liven things up a bit.

However, about 7-or-so years ago, I turned. I no longer care for being with anyone at any time. I'm quite happy alone, and socially interract with people only when required.

As the people in my life know me as I was, I have a very hard time even at family functions. No one has yet asked me about my behavior, but I know they wonder what the hell happened to me.

btw... love the Susan Cain video a few posts prior.


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## Garlic

I'm on the autistic spectrum, I tend to avoid real life social interaction because I don't understand the rules. It can be lonely but it avoids a lot of stress. I feel much less alienated when I'm alone than when I'm with other people.


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## Cheyenne

Many of these are true, but the general picture I receive does not entirely seem to correspond to me. I like people, and in fact I like social gatherings and other forms of communication, but I avoid big parties and clubs and that sort of thing. That said, neither of the latter two is truly about communication any more, they are more forms of personal enjoyment, to which the crowd is incidental: there is little direct interaction. Parties at my age are easily reduced to a series of lengthy and drunk variations on themes of sex anyhow, but I get infinite gratification from nearly every sort of conversation, as long as there is any depth to it. I appear to have a inbuilt, basically constitutional determination to revere human accomplishments and depth of passion and ideas. Interaction of that sort never tires me, and I don't recall needing time alone to 'rewind'. I'm the sort of person that always reads all the comments everywhere, and plows through forums he isn't even a member of just to see what people have to say on interesting subjects -- I care, in brief, about what others have to say. When doing something alone, I often remark to myself how it could be more interesting if someone else was there, though I'm never bored by myself -- rarely with others either. People with little passion, little interest in anything beyond the surface, can potentially bore me when I'm with them alone, but I'd like to think no human being is truly without depth. I suspect I'm an introvert that escapes from those states of mind by a crucial feeling of interest in other human beings -- someone who removes himself from his introversion by his passionately held humane and liberal principles.

If I weren't interested in video games and movies, and had not played and watched several rather subpar ones, I'd probably have much more difficulty getting around though -- there would be even less points of initiation into conversation.

"So, I like totally loved Rihanna's concert last night. You listen to any music or somethin'?"
"Ah yes, I listened to Hermann Scherchenn's 1954 performance of Beethoven's 8th symphony yesterday, with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra."
"... Sounds fun. You like readin' and stuff right? So..... I picked up some Dan Brown yesterday, was a 'ella lot of fun. What're _you_ readin'?"
"Oh, I just finished Anthony Powell's 12-volume novel on the deterioration of the British class system during the mid-20th century, named after a painting by Poussin, the French Baroque painter."
"Cool.. I guess..... Hey, you wanna watch a movie? What sort of movie do you like, I have quite a lot at home?"
"Sure! I especially like Japanese minimalism, Italian neorealism, and high-concept science-fiction."
"Hmm, don't think I have any of that, but I can check. Maybe just play some Mario?"
"Let's!"

(I'm not that pedantic in conversations of course, just kidding.)
I'm willing to compromise -- sometimes I just wish I had to compromise a little less.


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## Guest

> *8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.*


That's me to a 'T'.



> *13. You actively avoid any shows that might involve audience participation.*


As a teacher, I used to dread special assemblies where extroverts would come and make all the children join in...and, of course, the adults were grown ups, so they had no trouble with this, did they!!??



> *14. You screen all your calls -- even from friends.*


Finally, I can justify being an anti-social git!

Despite all of this, I don't like being on my own for too long.


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## DrKilroy

I guess I am! I am terribly afraid of making and receiving phone calls and unexpectedly meeting my acquaintances on street.

Best regards, Dr


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## Piwikiwi

I am quite extrovert. Even though i feel uncomfortable talking to large crows I still makes friends easily, have not much problem with small talk etc.

I do have a bit of a problem with nr 5, 6, 12 and 20. I think they have absolutely nothing to do with being introverted.


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## Tristan

I have characteristics of both, and I don't think I could easy label myself one or the other. On one hand, I seize any chance to talk to or be with my friends; I could hang out with them all the time if it were possible. But on the other hand, I don't find crowded parties or concerts enjoyable and I do like to write and focus on specific areas of expertise...I've always had characteristics of both. I can enjoy alone time, but not too much of it, and when I'm with my friends I can be quite talkative. It just depends.


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## Crudblud

Responding to the article point by point because doing the real literary work that I should be doing is too hard.

1. I find it very easy to offend people during small talk. My friends are all pretty well used to my sense of humour, but, between the jokes and my probable air of disinterest (usually bolstered by having my mind on something else), "casual" conversation usually results in a bad first impression with new people.

2. I go to parties only under extreme duress.

3. Crowds are like being in the ocean, and possibly even more hostile to human life.

4. I find any sort of self-promotion to be phony, even posting threads about my work in the composer's section here only comes after something like an hour-long debate with myself.

5. My best friend once told me I was _scary_, I don't understand what he meant, I think I am possibly the least threatening presence on the planet. I have never been called "intense," but I do like that kind of conversation and those kinds of books and films.

6. When I am not mentally "on," I do get easily distracted or defeated, and want to move onto something else, then I get distracted or defeated from that. I can also be in a manic kind of mood, where my brain lets loose without concern for the rest of me and I can't focus on any one thing because I want to focus on everything. When I am in that rare mood combination of relaxed and active I usually can pass the whole day focusing on one thing, often without breaks.

7. Downtime is most of my time, I spend a lot of time sat around thinking or just quietly processing things in the background while I occupy my immediate thoughts with something else, but whatever I'm doing my mind is usually mulling over something work-related. I find this works best for me, since when I do sit down to work, I am able to get the task at hand completed in a very short amount of time.

8. This is sort of like lesser evil voting, but yes, I'm sure I would have an easier time delivering a talk than meeting the people who attended it.

9. I like to get single seats if they are available. Otherwise a window seat will do.

10. Depending on the entertainment value of a given situation, I can zone out within 60 seconds, never mind several hours.

11. I think I'm not the sort of person who has romantic relationships, I'd like to, but I don't seem to be built to deal with the demands of such a relationship. I think if it weren't for the internet and the fact that one of my closest friends lives about five minutes away, I'd probably be a total recluse.

12. I don't try to do _everything_, but my interests are spread out across several distinct fields which I am currently trying to tie together with my meagre writing talent.

13. I think I avoid any kind of show, really, the concert hall just isn't my kind of environment. "Actively" implies that I am forever side-stepping a deluge of invitations, which is quite the opposite of the truth.

14. I just don't pick up the phone at all. Anyone who knows me knows that you don't reach me by phone.

15. I often do, although I generally don't mention it to the other people.

16. I do, and it often comes out in my fiction writing and turns it into an awful mess.

17. I don't know. I haven't had my blood pressure checked in some time.

18. I have at least felt old for most of my life, and people often come to me for advice, so I suppose this is accurate. I don't know why they come to me for advice, I am not a successful human being by modern standards.

19. I can feel that way from my surroundings, although usually when there is no one else around. That's a good way of summing things up: I enjoy things best when I am alone with them.

20. I sometimes have moments when I am able to take the specifics of a given situation and correlate them with abstract principles, but, given that my current frame of mind is not predisposed towards offering favourable assessments of my abilities, I think I believe these moments are far more rare than they actually are.

21. I am able to communicate well, but I am not a loud person, so it is often the case that I am misheard or asked to speak up when talking within a group. Sometimes, when I feel like being insolent, I respond to the latter complaint by shouting and asking them if that is loud enough for them.

22. I'm certainly not a Faulkner in the making, but I do things with words that could be considered writing, so I suppose I am a writer.

23. This is probably true, but generally more than a few hours of direct contact with other people per week is rather hellish for me.


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## Ukko

Piwikiwi said:


> I am quite extrovert. Even though i feel uncomfortable talking to large crows I still makes friends easily, have not much problem with small talk etc.
> [...]


Excellent typo there, _Piwikiwi_! Small talk with a large crow... I can see you both now.


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## Ukko

[Crudblud]
"20. I sometimes have moments when I am able to take the specifics of a given situation and correlate them with abstract principles, but, given that my current frame of mind is not predisposed towards offering favourable assessments of my abilities, I think I believe these moments are far more rare than they actually are."

Well, _I think_ that is a good example of over-thinking about your thinking.

That's about all I can contribute to the thread, being an extrovert in public and an introvert in private.


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## Pennypacker

I hate self-analyzing, so I'll just let Louis CK do the talking.


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## LindnerianSea

I will let Mark to the talking for me too.


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## aleazk

I'm very introvert, of course. But I don't think I "hate" social interactions. I don't love them either. What I can really say is that I can't stand them for prolonged periods of time.


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## LindnerianSea

aleazk said:


> I'm vey introvert, of course. But I don't think I "hate" social interactions. I don't love them either. What I can really say is that I can't stand them for prolonged periods of time.


I agree, being 'anti-social' and preferring to be alone are two separate things. But intuitively I cannot imagine someone who is not introverted as being anti-social ... anyone who loves to be around people yet hating the guts out of them would be a truly lethal combination.


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## Sid James

LindnerianSea said:


> ... anyone who loves to be around people yet hating the guts out of them would be a truly lethal combination.


Well, some people are like that, and they tend to put up with people for the sheer thrill of controlling them. Its really a parasitic type of relationship, so of course ultimately damaging.


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## brianvds

Garlic said:


> I'm on the autistic spectrum, I tend to avoid real life social interaction because I don't understand the rules. It can be lonely but it avoids a lot of stress. I feel much less alienated when I'm alone than when I'm with other people.


It's the same with me. Rather weirdly perhaps, I am a school teacher by profession. But I find that it is different with kids, because they don't play mind games like adults so I don't have to wonder all the time what they are feeling.

They can be noisy and demanding though, so I find that in the afternoons I absolutely have to have a few hours of complete peace and quiet to recharge my batteries.


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## deggial

judging by those 23 signs I'm not an introvert, although I don't like going out _all the time_ and who doesn't get tired after a few hours of shouting over a loud background in order to participate in a conversation? I greatly enjoy my own company and rarely miss people when doing my own thing but I am very sociable at work (my job is all about interacting with others, chiefly _difficult_ people) or in a social situation. I do hate phone calls, though. Never given much thought to the location of seats, aside from the nearness of an exit on a plane, as I want my travels to be done with post haste. There is definitely something to be said about enjoying music together with large masses of people. It's probably when I feel closest to my fellow humans.


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## moody

Hilltroll72 said:


> Excellent typo there, _Piwikiwi_! Small talk with a large crow... I can see you both now.


Don't you just hate it when those darned crows get started up !!


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## moody

Hilltroll72 said:


> [Crudblud]
> "20. I sometimes have moments when I am able to take the specifics of a given situation and correlate them with abstract principles, but, given that my current frame of mind is not predisposed towards offering favourable assessments of my abilities, I think I believe these moments are far more rare than they actually are."
> 
> Well, _I think_ that is a good example of over-thinking about your thinking.
> 
> That's about all I can contribute to the thread, being an extrovert in public and an introvert in private.


There are a lot of us around. But seriously forums are bound to be full of introverts because they can give their opinions unseen without fear of physical confrontation. ie not face to face in case that sounds a bit worrying.

I thought Crudblud's post was full of insight.


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## Ukko

moody said:


> There are a lot of us around. But seriously forums are bound to be full of introverts because they can give their opinions unseen without fear of physical confrontation. ie not face to face in case that sounds a bit worrying.
> 
> I thought Crudblud's post was full of insight.


At least it can lead to insight. For instance: There may a character-type that is 'diagnosed' as extrovert, but actually is communication-driven. Deprived of company, this type person will 'communicate' with himself - occasionally to the point of what is medically described as a 'confused mental state'.

The practice sometimes described as 'contemplating one's navel' is an attempt to get the mind to 'shut the eff up'.


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## Chrythes

Hilltroll72 said:


> At least it can lead to insight. For instance: There may a character-type that is 'diagnosed' as extrovert, but actually is communication-driven. Deprived of company, this type person will 'communicate' with himself - occasionally to the point of what is medically described as a 'confused mental state'.
> 
> The practice sometimes described as 'contemplating one's navel' is an attempt to get the mind to 'shut the eff up'.


So you only get to know yourself when you talk with others, where in fact you actually project onto others your own self?


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## Guest

moody said:


> [...] But seriously forums are bound to be full of introverts because they can give their opinions unseen without fear of physical confrontation. ie not face to face in case that sounds a bit worrying. [...]


What you call '_introverts giving their opinions unseen without fear of physical confrontation..._' is what some might (can/may/could/other modal inflections) term trolling.

In the meantime, I'd say I'm an introverted type with a job that demands extroversion. Clear?


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## Chrythes

Oh but internet forum is real life, regardless of your role here, i still find if it terrifying to post stuff here.


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## Ukko

Chrythes said:


> So you only get to know yourself when you talk with others, where in fact you actually project onto others your own self?


Say what? 

I hope you didn't get to your story from mine, I don't see a link. Anyway, I don't project my 'self' onto others. I am much stranger than they are (well, most of them).


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## Ramako

TalkingHead said:


> *What you call 'introverts giving their opinions unseen without fear of physical confrontation...' is what some might (can/may/could/other modal inflections) term trolling*.


Why should introverts afraid of face-to-face contact expressing an opinion be equated with trolling though? Extraverts can be plenty unpleasant in real life. In fact, in my opinion, that's can be worse than trolling online (cyber-bullying aside), seeing as they can intimidate people with being stronger or just more confident.


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## LindnerianSea

Ramako said:


> Why should introverts afraid of face-to-face contact expressing an opinion be equated with trolling though? Extraverts can be plenty unpleasant in real life. In fact, in my opinion, that's can be worse than trolling online (cyber-bullying aside), seeing as they can intimidate people with being stronger or just more confident.


I agree. Although tempting, I think social ability should be left out as an independent factor to the introversion/extroversion distinction. As you and Sid mentioned, there's plenty of anti-/a-social being within both categories. In fact, it's known that introverts are quite comfortable when dealing with single individuals at a time, whereas extroverts prefer to go around in groups. Had introverts been anti-/a-social, that would completely rule out human communication. I say as an introvert that I do not find people unpleasant. It's just that I get uncomfortable and weary when there are too many of them around me...

Also, speaking as a psychology major, the introversion and extroversion division of personality is far from perfect. It has its problems in validity and reliability, and much needs to be clarified especially when it comes to detailing the specifics. It was Jung who came up with the theory, which was not really based on any scientific & objective clues... Besides, individual differences within each category also plays a huge role in shaping ourselves.

BTW, Ramako, is that Raskolnikov from 'Crime and Punishment' as your avatar ? Allow me to guess - if that is true you must be an introvert to have such man as your representation !


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## LindnerianSea

TalkingHead said:


> In the meantime, I'd say I'm an introverted type with a job that demands extroversion.


I am really curious what your job is. Do you think that your job doesn't fit well with your personality ~ ?


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Lunasong said:


> I think it is very possible because as an introvert, I am very comfortable talking or performing in front of large crowds as long as I am following the script or playing a role. Lady Gaga's whole persona is a role.
> I'm happy at a party if I'm the person serving the drinks or cooking the hamburgers - as long as I have a defined role.
> Don't ask me to be extemporaneous, though.
> 
> I am also much more comfortable being alone in a crowd than I would be in a conversation with just one other person.
> 
> LS's incident is indicative of being caught without a script for the situation, which is something I understand perfectly.


I didn't know you were Lady Gaga.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Every time I get an introvert/extrovert test my results are different. Some days I feel more introverted and some days more extroverted. I suppose an " awkward introvert moment" was at a composition workshop during the lunch break. I sat with another boy for half an hour and then said "What's your name?" and then lunch break finished. 

At other compositions workshops I can interact and be around people very easily, it's great being able to share info and take part in a discussion like that with a group of people....

Other times I like to go find a piano or go to my guitar and spend an hour and a half improvising just for myself.


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## niv

When I was little people used to call me introvert. Later I thought I was an extrovert. Right now I think the "self" is not something static, I think it's more dynamic. Lately I think I'm behaving a little bit more introspective. Sometimes I even wonder if one of the reasons I participate in TC is because I need some social interaction I'm not getting elsewhere or that I'm afraid to have.


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## OldFashionedGirl

I'm a introvert. I detest the image that social media transmits about introversion. That introverts are criminal and dangerous people. Fortunately people like Susan Cain are changing the mentality that society have about us.


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## KenOC

OldFashionedGirl said:


> I detest the image that social media transmits about introversion. That introverts are criminal and dangerous people.


(Deleted -- thought the better of that. But--if "social media" are criticizing introverted people, I must have missed it!)


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## Ramako

LindnerianSea said:


> BTW, Ramako, is that Raskolnikov from 'Crime and Punishment' as your avatar ? Allow me to guess - if that is true you must be an introvert to have such man as your representation !


It is indeed Raskolnikov. I must be an introvert, although I am left being somewhat confused as to the distinctions between intro- and extraversion.


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## Ryan

Spider man is that you???


Crudblud said:


> Responding to the article point by point because doing the real literary work that I should be doing is too hard.
> 
> 1. I find it very easy to offend people during small talk. My friends are all pretty well used to my sense of humour, but, between the jokes and my probable air of disinterest (usually bolstered by having my mind on something else), "casual" conversation usually results in a bad first impression with new people.
> 
> 2. I go to parties only under extreme duress.
> 
> 3. Crowds are like being in the ocean, and possibly even more hostile to human life.
> 
> 4. I find any sort of self-promotion to be phony, even posting threads about my work in the composer's section here only comes after something like an hour-long debate with myself.
> 
> 5. My best friend once told me I was _scary_, I don't understand what he meant, I think I am possibly the least threatening presence on the planet. I have never been called "intense," but I do like that kind of conversation and those kinds of books and films.
> 
> 6. When I am not mentally "on," I do get easily distracted or defeated, and want to move onto something else, then I get distracted or defeated from that. I can also be in a manic kind of mood, where my brain lets loose without concern for the rest of me and I can't focus on any one thing because I want to focus on everything. When I am in that rare mood combination of relaxed and active I usually can pass the whole day focusing on one thing, often without breaks.
> 
> 7. Downtime is most of my time, I spend a lot of time sat around thinking or just quietly processing things in the background while I occupy my immediate thoughts with something else, but whatever I'm doing my mind is usually mulling over something work-related. I find this works best for me, since when I do sit down to work, I am able to get the task at hand completed in a very short amount of time.
> 
> 8. This is sort of like lesser evil voting, but yes, I'm sure I would have an easier time delivering a talk than meeting the people who attended it.
> 
> 9. I like to get single seats if they are available. Otherwise a window seat will do.
> 
> 10. Depending on the entertainment value of a given situation, I can zone out within 60 seconds, never mind several hours.
> 
> 11. I think I'm not the sort of person who has romantic relationships, I'd like to, but I don't seem to be built to deal with the demands of such a relationship. I think if it weren't for the internet and the fact that one of my closest friends lives about five minutes away, I'd probably be a total recluse.
> 
> 12. I don't try to do _everything_, but my interests are spread out across several distinct fields which I am currently trying to tie together with my meagre writing talent.
> 
> 13. I think I avoid any kind of show, really, the concert hall just isn't my kind of environment. "Actively" implies that I am forever side-stepping a deluge of invitations, which is quite the opposite of the truth.
> 
> 14. I just don't pick up the phone at all. Anyone who knows me knows that you don't reach me by phone.
> 
> 15. I often do, although I generally don't mention it to the other people.
> 
> 16. I do, and it often comes out in my fiction writing and turns it into an awful mess.
> 
> 17. I don't know. I haven't had my blood pressure checked in some time.
> 
> 18. I have at least felt old for most of my life, and people often come to me for advice, so I suppose this is accurate. I don't know why they come to me for advice, I am not a successful human being by modern standards.
> 
> 19. I can feel that way from my surroundings, although usually when there is no one else around. That's a good way of summing things up: I enjoy things best when I am alone with them.
> 
> 20. I sometimes have moments when I am able to take the specifics of a given situation and correlate them with abstract principles, but, given that my current frame of mind is not predisposed towards offering favourable assessments of my abilities, I think I believe these moments are far more rare than they actually are.
> 
> 21. I am able to communicate well, but I am not a loud person, so it is often the case that I am misheard or asked to speak up when talking within a group. Sometimes, when I feel like being insolent, I respond to the latter complaint by shouting and asking them if that is loud enough for them.
> 
> 22. I'm certainly not a Faulkner in the making, but I do things with words that could be considered writing, so I suppose I am a writer.
> 
> 23. This is probably true, but generally more than a few hours of direct contact with other people per week is rather hellish for me.


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## Huilunsoittaja

Ramako said:


> It is indeed Raskolnikov. I must be an introvert, although I am left being somewhat confused as to the distinctions between intro- and extraversion.


Really? It never occurred to me what your picture was. I always had a different image of him in my head, based off this cover for the copy I own:










If there was the most pitifully isolated character in all of literature, it would be Raskolnikov.


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## jani

Ramako said:


> It is indeed Raskolnikov. I must be an introvert, although I am left being somewhat confused as to the distinctions between intro- and extraversion.


Ramako, introverts gain energy from activities like reading books, listening to music ( Alone), extroverts gain energy from talking to others and going to places were there are lots of people/stimulus like concerts etc...


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## Mesa

Crudblud said:


> Responding to the article point by point because doing the real literary work that I should be doing is too hard.
> 
> 1. I find it very easy to offend people during small talk. My friends are all pretty well used to my sense of humour, but, between the jokes and my probable air of disinterest (usually bolstered by having my mind on something else), "casual" conversation usually results in a bad first impression with new people.
> 
> 2. I go to parties only under extreme duress.
> 
> 3. Crowds are like being in the ocean, and possibly even more hostile to human life.
> 
> 4. I find any sort of self-promotion to be phony, even posting threads about my work in the composer's section here only comes after something like an hour-long debate with myself.
> 
> 5. My best friend once told me I was _scary_, I don't understand what he meant, I think I am possibly the least threatening presence on the planet. I have never been called "intense," but I do like that kind of conversation and those kinds of books and films.
> 
> 6. When I am not mentally "on," I do get easily distracted or defeated, and want to move onto something else, then I get distracted or defeated from that. I can also be in a manic kind of mood, where my brain lets loose without concern for the rest of me and I can't focus on any one thing because I want to focus on everything. When I am in that rare mood combination of relaxed and active I usually can pass the whole day focusing on one thing, often without breaks.
> 
> 7. Downtime is most of my time, I spend a lot of time sat around thinking or just quietly processing things in the background while I occupy my immediate thoughts with something else, but whatever I'm doing my mind is usually mulling over something work-related. I find this works best for me, since when I do sit down to work, I am able to get the task at hand completed in a very short amount of time.
> 
> 8. This is sort of like lesser evil voting, but yes, I'm sure I would have an easier time delivering a talk than meeting the people who attended it.
> 
> 9. I like to get single seats if they are available. Otherwise a window seat will do.
> 
> 10. Depending on the entertainment value of a given situation, I can zone out within 60 seconds, never mind several hours.
> 
> 11. I think I'm not the sort of person who has romantic relationships, I'd like to, but I don't seem to be built to deal with the demands of such a relationship. I think if it weren't for the internet and the fact that one of my closest friends lives about five minutes away, I'd probably be a total recluse.
> 
> 12. I don't try to do _everything_, but my interests are spread out across several distinct fields which I am currently trying to tie together with my meagre writing talent.
> 
> 13. I think I avoid any kind of show, really, the concert hall just isn't my kind of environment. "Actively" implies that I am forever side-stepping a deluge of invitations, which is quite the opposite of the truth.
> 
> 14. I just don't pick up the phone at all. Anyone who knows me knows that you don't reach me by phone.
> 
> 15. I often do, although I generally don't mention it to the other people.
> 
> 16. I do, and it often comes out in my fiction writing and turns it into an awful mess.
> 
> 17. I don't know. I haven't had my blood pressure checked in some time.
> 
> 18. I have at least felt old for most of my life, and people often come to me for advice, so I suppose this is accurate. I don't know why they come to me for advice, I am not a successful human being by modern standards.
> 
> 19. I can feel that way from my surroundings, although usually when there is no one else around. That's a good way of summing things up: I enjoy things best when I am alone with them.
> 
> 20. I sometimes have moments when I am able to take the specifics of a given situation and correlate them with abstract principles, but, given that my current frame of mind is not predisposed towards offering favourable assessments of my abilities, I think I believe these moments are far more rare than they actually are.
> 
> 21. I am able to communicate well, but I am not a loud person, so it is often the case that I am misheard or asked to speak up when talking within a group. Sometimes, when I feel like being insolent, I respond to the latter complaint by shouting and asking them if that is loud enough for them.
> 
> 22. I'm certainly not a Faulkner in the making, but I do things with words that could be considered writing, so I suppose I am a writer.
> 
> 23. This is probably true, but generally more than a few hours of direct contact with other people per week is rather hellish for me.


Dear Crudblud, if i am down Sheffield (?) way during my coming lifetime, we must rendezvous for the merry quaffing of gallons of tea/ale/meade.

I'll happily ignore my comparatively enormous deficit of intellect, creative ability and musicology just to hear you talk for a few hours.

Kind regards,

-Man from internet.


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## KenOC

Huilunsoittaja said:


> If there was the most pitifully isolated character in all of literature, it would be Raskolnikov.


Sad. If Raskolinov had the Internet, things would have been so much better. He could have collected friends on Facebook, for instance.


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## Crudblud

Ryan said:


> Spider man is that you???


Yes, but I'm currently disguised as Batman.



Mesa said:


> Dear Crudblud, if i am down Sheffield (?) way during my coming lifetime, we must rendezvous for the merry quaffing of gallons of tea/ale/meade.
> 
> I'll happily ignore my comparatively enormous deficit of intellect, creative ability and musicology just to hear you talk for a few hours.
> 
> Kind regards,
> 
> -Man from internet.


Thank you Mr Internet. Gallons of ale and mead sounds like a plan, though I'm afraid you'll be disappointed as whatever intellect I may appear to possess here throws itself out the window when dealing with people face to face.


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## Guest

jani said:


> Ramako, introverts gain energy from activities like reading books, listening to music ( Alone), extroverts gain energy from talking to others and going to places were there are lots of people/stimulus like concerts etc...


Though of course, it is not so simplistically binary. Nevertheless, the 'intro/extra' dimension seems more than any other to be the one that folks treat as 1/0, on/off, one or t'other.


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## Kieran

I like people, I like dealing with them in general. I only dislike selfish people or cranks, but usually I find social stuff to be grand. Of course, now and again I'm Greta Garbo (I vont to be alun) but too much of that and I'm restless. My missus once caught me talking to the Speaking Clock, and she said we both were laughing. It musta been a Sunday...


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## Ramako

Huilunsoittaja said:


> Really? It never occurred to me what your picture was. I always had a different image of him in my head, based off this cover for the copy I own:
> 
> ...
> 
> If there was the most pitifully isolated character in all of literature, it would be Raskolnikov.


Mine internal picture is also different, but I liked this painting of him. I would have chosen a picture of Notes from Underground instead, but I couldn't find one on google.

It might be alarming to say that it wasn't the loneliness that made me choose this avatar, but it's true :lol:

Disclaimer: I haven't, nor do I intend to, murder anyone.


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## clavichorder

I feel awkward around anyone I'm not familiar with at this point in my life, but these are odd times. I don't think the mental illness that has caused me to retreat in on myself is necessarily related to introversion or extraversion. I don't know if being 'isolated' necessarily makes one an introvert. I don't know about much of anything...


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## aleazk

Ramako, I hope that the obnoxious old lady to whom you pay your rent is ok... and alive. 
If not, don't feel guilty, she deserved it!. And clean your boots!.


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## drpraetorus

This somewhat reminds me of this song from Ruddigore by G&S

My boy, you may take it from me, 
That of all the afflictions accurst
With which a man's saddled 
And hampered and addled,
A diffident nature's the worst.
Though clever as clever can be - 
A Crichton of early romance - 
You must stir it and stump it, 
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!

If you wish in the world to advance,
Your merits you're bound to enhance,
You must stir it and stump it, 
And blow your own trumpet, 
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!

Now take, for example, my case:
I've a bright intellectual brain -
In all London city There's no one so witty -
I've thought so again and again.
I've a highly intelligent face -
My features cannot be denied -
But, whatever I try, sir, I fail in - and why, sir?
I'm modesty personified!

If you wish in the world to advance,
Your merits you're bound to enhance,
You must stir it and stump it, 
And blow your own trumpet, 
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!

As a poet, I'm tender and quaint -
I've passion and fervour and grace -
From Ovid and Horace To Swinburne and Morris,
They all of them take a back place.
Then I sing and I play and I paint:
Though none are accomplished as I,
To say so were treason:
You ask me the reason? 
I'm diffident, modest, and shy!

.If you wish in the world to advance,
Your merits you're bound to enhance,
You must stir it and stump it, 
And blow your own trumpet, 
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!


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## KenOC

drpraetorus said:


> You must stir it and stump it,
> And blow your own trumpet,
> Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!


A true story. One of those intrepid lady ape-watchers in Africa reported on a multi-year observation of a tribe of baboons. Baboons have a well-defined pecking order, and movement up or down within that order is rare. One spring she returned and observed that a particular baboon had moved up the pecking order by quite a few places!

Flabbergasted, she tried to find out how this had happened. It turned out that her team had left behind, the previous year, a five-gallon gas can. The baboon had learned to grab it by the handle and bang it back and forth, making a tremendous racket. There's a lesson here, and one that supports Gilbert and Sullivan.


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## Guest

LindnerianSea said:


> I am really curious what your job is. Do you think that your job doesn't fit well with your personality ~ ?


I do apologize LindnerianSea for the delay in replying to you. I received a 'temporary ban' for some foul deeds on this forum. Take me out at dawn and shoot me, I say!
Anyway, to answer your question quoted above: I think my job 'brings me out of myself' in a positive way.


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## LordBlackudder

the introverts are the normal ones in this world consisting of asia, humility and reservedness.

loud mouths need the sign that says 'quiet please' and the drill instructor that tells them to shut up.


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## Piwikiwi

Here are 15 Unmistakable, Outrageously Secret Signs You Are an Extrovert.

1. You do not justify your social impediments as charming quirks indicative of a secretly brilliant personality.

2. You interact with other humans in orthodox ways and sometimes it's fun and sometimes it's not and mostly it's whatever.

3. You seem OK; those around you do not constantly feel the need to ask, "Are you OK?"

4. People like you.

5. You get it done.

6. You communicate emotions, fears, and desires to relevant parties in a clear way.

7. You don't ruin camping trips, birthday parties, Christmas parties, office parties, bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, murder mystery parties, anniversary parties, bonfires, sleepovers, vacations, group projects, brunches, lunches, bridal showers, baby showers, concerts, and road trips simply by being yourself.

8. Sometimes you do things alone without tweeting "OHHHH MY GODDDD I LOVE TO DO THINGS ALOOOOONE!!!!!!!!! #INTROVERT"

9. When you go to a party, you do not silently slide up against a wall and wait for someone to inquire about the mystery guest.

10. You never understood why the premise of MTV's MADE was that random girls who had never previously expended any effort to participate in school activities or interact with people outside their cloistered friend group are somehow purer of heart and more deserving of being voted homecoming queen than girls who are well-liked and popular.

11. More broadly, you have known the carefree joy of rooting for the favorite.

12. When you want to stay in, you just do it without making a big, aggrieved production about how it is absolutely essential for you to stay in sometimes-you need to do it, you just have to recharge-because you have extreme intermittent photosensitivity...OF THE SOUL.

13. You speak at a volume perceivable by humans.

14. You don't obsess over the possibility that occasionally liking to perform activities solo (reading, going for walks, etc.) makes you extremely unique.

15. You read an online article about introverts in the last month and thought, "Haha that is so me!" (That's not you. You just love being part of a group.)

Disclaimer: This is satire that I quoted from this website:
http://gawker.com/15-unmistakable-outrageously-secret-signs-youre-an-ex-1182875137


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