# Tabloid Titles for Operas



## Olias (Nov 18, 2010)

Silly Thread.

Take an opera and make up a clever "Tabloid News" style title for it.

Examples:

Salome = "Exotic Dancer Just Trying to Get A Head in the World"

Cosi Fan Tutte = "Two Chicks from Ferrara Become Swingers"


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

I like it. I think we had a thread like this ages ago, but it's probably lost too far back to retrieve.
Das Rheingold: "Midget molests young women and steals from them"
Hansel und Gretel: "Youngsters murder old lady who fed them"


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

Almaviva said:


> I like it. I think we had a thread like this ages ago, but it's probably lost too far back to retrieve.
> Das Rheingold: "Midget molests young women and steals from them"
> Hansel und Gretel: "Youngsters murder old lady who fed them"


It's here: http://www.talkclassical.com/12087-one-sentence-opera-plot.html


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

Just to include some operetta; It's arguably harder with operetta than opera (or musicals), all operettas are variations on a number of limited classic themes - esp. love pairs/trianges, girl plays hard to get, these things, & often it's all "sorted out" by some older guy or woman (telling them to get on with it, kiss & "make up" etc.). Then again, I don't pay any attention to these so-called wafer thin "plots," I just love the music!

*Merry Widow *(Lehar) - "Millionare heiress ties knot with her toy boy"
*The White Horse Inn *(Im Weissen Rossl) (Benatzky/Stolz/others) - "Kaiser visits humble inn to sort out love triangle"
*The Bat *(Die Fledermaus) (J. Strauss Jnr.) - "Shenanigans at masked ball all ends well with champaigne"


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## MAuer (Feb 6, 2011)

*Fidelio* - "Woman disguised as prison employee busts hubby out of slammer."


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## Aksel (Dec 3, 2010)

*Lucia di Lammermoor* - SCANDAL as newlywed stabs husband. Lover reportedly dead.


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## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

Le Nozze di Figaro - IKEA beds available in all sizes


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## Sieglinde (Oct 25, 2009)

Boris Godunov: Russian president's dark past unfurls!
Turn of the Screw: Haunting, sex and death! Now in 3D for extra creepiness!
Meistersingern: Young rock star causes scandal! Interview with Sachs: "Haven't seen such talent since Kurt Cobain in his prime!"
Jenufa: Child murderer unmasked! "I forgive her", mother says
Cavalleria: Drunken fight after Easter mass, young "village bull" dead!
Walküre: Twincest and broken oaths! Now with more fire and sex! Better than Game of Thrones! Watch at 16.00 on Mezzo!



Btw, Lannister twins totally copycatted Wälsungs. It is known.


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## HarpsichordConcerto (Jan 1, 2010)

Olias said:


> Silly Thread.
> 
> Take an opera and make up a clever "Tabloid News" style title for it.
> 
> ...


haha...great idea. You did say tabloid, so here's mine.

_Die Entführung aus dem Serail_ = Abducting Oppressed Turkish Islamic Whores


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## MAuer (Feb 6, 2011)

*Un Ballo in Maschera *(original setting): King of Sweden murdered by jealous husband! Mysterious fortune teller said to be involved.


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

*Queen of Spades*

Run on casino not lucky for Countess.


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## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

Madame Butterfly - Gunboat diplomat and Geisha; oh yes, the twain did meet :kiss::wave:


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## Operafocus (Jul 17, 2011)

Lohengrin - "Mysterious man vows to leave woman he loves if he cannot remain anonymous."


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

'Famous author found dead on pleasure beach: youth questioned.' (Death in Venice)


EDIT: sorry, had to tweak it a bit - my Editor thought it needed more impact...


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

*Moses und Aron* - Leader delivers the law of the land, but no one is happy.


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## Aksel (Dec 3, 2010)

*Meistersinger *- Nobleman Tries out for "Nürnberg's got Talent". "- I don't know what he was doing, but I didn't like it," Says Disgruntled Town Clerk.


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## PostMinimalist (May 14, 2008)

"KILLER CLOWN MASACRES FAMILY BEFORE A PACKED HOUSE" (I Pallacci)
"DIVA DIVES TO DOOM IN BIZZARE POLICE CHASE" (Tosca)


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Aksel said:


> *Meistersinger *- Nobleman Tries out for "Nürnberg's got Talent". "- I don't know what he was doing, but I didn't like it," Says Disgruntled Town Clerk.


You all know I'm a *phobe* but I know enough about Meistersinger to think your headline is brilliant!!


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## Operafocus (Jul 17, 2011)

PostMinimalist said:


> "KILLER CLOWN MASACRES FAMILY BEFORE A PACKED HOUSE" (I Pallacci)


I'm seeing this in a week :lol:


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Operafocus said:


> I'm seeing this in a week :lol:


In this case it's premeditated murder.


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Almaviva said:


> In this case it's premediated murder.


Or premeditated even ..


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

sospiro said:


> Or premeditated even ..


Just to be safe, you might want to go premedicated.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

sospiro said:


> Or premeditated even ..


That's what I meant, it was a typo.


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## PostMinimalist (May 14, 2008)

Operafocus said:


> I'm seeing this in a week :lol:


OOPS! I kind of spoiled the ending a bit....


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## Operafocus (Jul 17, 2011)

PostMinimalist said:


> OOPS! I kind of spoiled the ending a bit....


That's OK, I know how it ends :lol:


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

Operafocus said:


> That's OK, I know how it ends :lol:


When we approach a new opera together my eight-year-old always asks: "who dies?"


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

mamascarlatti said:


> When we approach a new opera together my eight-year-old always asks: "who dies?"


"We all do, honey."


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

mamascarlatti said:


> When we approach a new opera together my eight-year-old always asks: "who dies?"


Aww! Nothing like a good death but it's great fun when the bloody corpse bounds on to the stage at curtain call.


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## Aramis (Mar 1, 2009)

Even if I had mind of Mark Anthony what would be use of it? There is nothing to be desired except Queen of Egypt. And to chase her you must find great strenght in your wits. But legions, Roman eagle? All gone, all gone. Find what's not gone and achieve it. Or bring it back to life.


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Aramis said:


> Even if I had mind of Mark Anthony what would be use of it? There is nothing to be desired except Queen of Egypt. And to chase her you must find great strenght in your wits. But legions, Roman eagle? All gone, all gone. Find what's not gone and achieve it. Or bring it back to life.


:lol:

Bit long for a tabloid title


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

Aramis said:


> Even if I had mind of Mark Anthony what would be use of it? There is nothing to be desired except Queen of Egypt. And to chase her you must find great strenght in your wits. But legions, Roman eagle? All gone, all gone. Find what's not gone and achieve it. Or bring it back to life.


I couldn't have put it better myself. For that matter, I probably wouldn't have tried.


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## Aramis (Mar 1, 2009)

> Bit long for a tabloid title


It's not tabloid title, it's just that lot choosed this thread for my reflection.


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