# Honest Question to the women on this forum.



## mirepoix (Feb 1, 2014)

And with apologies to Mrs. Huilunsoittaja-Glazunov for stealing her idea seen here.

I understand and accept that perhaps you don't believe there are any real differences. I'm also aware that there are those who believe there's almost some sort for 'female hive mind' which (amongst other things) conspires to shoot down _nice guys. _ However, if you've any sort of point you would like to make or you've an insight to share -

"What are some things that you wish men would know/understand better about women in general or you personally?"


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

Mrs Hermit would reply (scornfully) - "you don't need to understand, you just need to accept!"

if she were in a bad mood, it would be "Why do you need to ask? Don't you pay attention to *anything* I say?"


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Yes, listening is a good start. We don't all listen properly all the time, but most women don't find it difficult to say, 'Oh sorry, I was in a dream world - what did you say?', rather than pretending or brazening it out. 

And of course, most women do take turns in conversations, and wait till the other person has finished, rather than second-guessing how it was going to turn out and diving in, because they want it to be their go faster. 

Oh, and when a woman asks if something is all right, don't say, 'It's fine' too fast or they'll think it isn't, or that you are being perfunctory because you aren't really interested.

Relations between the sexes would go better if men were as good at 'acting interested' as women are brought up to be.

Manners maketh man!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Can you speak a little slower please, ma'am? Im trying to write this stuff down.


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

keep that pencil sharpened - there may be more to come! :lol:


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Headphone Hermit said:


> keep that pencil sharpened - there may be more to come! :lol:


Nah! She's done.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Well, okay, kind sir - I expect you all know that oh-so-true joke that runs:

Q. Why did Moses & the Israelites spend 40 years lost in the desert?

A. Because Moses, *like most men*, didn't want to ask for directions!

(PS Was that a pious wish, hpowders? :lol


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Ingélou said:


> Well, okay, kind sir - I expect you all know that oh-so-true joke that runs:
> 
> Q. Why did Moses & the Israelites spend 40 years lost in the desert?
> 
> ...


Funny, but that's true!! I remember as a kid, taking Sunday drives with my dad as he explored new territory, and every so often, we would get totally lost. Despite pleadings from my mom, he stubbornly refused to stop and ask for help.


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

Ingélou said:


> Q. Why did Moses & the Israelites spend 40 years lost in the desert?
> 
> A. Because Moses, *like most men*, didn't want to ask for directions!
> 
> ...


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Headphone Hermit said:


> Ingélou said:
> 
> 
> > Q. Why did Moses & the Israelites spend 40 years lost in the desert?
> ...


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

1. Gentlemen, when I tell you about my day, and perhaps things were not all perfect, don't jump in immediately and give me unsolicited advice on how to solve all my problems. I'm sharing, not asking for advice; all I want is for you to listen. Chances are I'm dealing with the problem fine.

2. Not all women are interested in bags and hair and clothes and shoes and interior decorating. Some of us prefer music and books and ideas.

3. Washing-up isn't really a hobby that appeals to women either.


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## Svelte Silhouette (Nov 7, 2013)

hpowders said:


> Funny, but that's true!! I remember as a kid, taking Sunday drives with my dad as he explored new territory, and every so often, we would get totally lost. Despite pleadings from my mom, he stubbornly refused to stop and ask for help.


Wherever would us simple-minded menfolk be without satnav as our accompanying navigators are prone to read maps upside down if they can read them at all.

I recall on a trip through the West Coast NPs being told by my navigator on leaving "Craters of the moon" around 7pm that our next motel was 150 miles away so I figured on 2h 30m and after half that time with seemingly good progress decided to stop for an evening meal. Once back in the car I checked our remaining distance with my navigator as we knew where we were and she told me that we were 150 miles away 

Arriving at our motel a little after 1am having lost an additional hour due to an un-mapread time-zone crossing we discovered our room gone as the motelier had thought we were a no-show and decided he could take our money but also re-sell our room 

Fortunately, as the motel was part of a chain and we were homeless with one of us a bit cross due to navigational issues topped by this homelessness cherry, the owner had to arrange for us to be put up at his expense in a far plusher place


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## hreichgott (Dec 31, 2012)

Understand that women are people.


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

All I know is that when she says 'can we talk' it usually means I have to do/change something. No rest for the weary.


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

mamascarlatti said:


> 1. Gentlemen, when I tell you about my day, and perhaps things were not all perfect, don't jump in immediately and give me unsolicited advice on how to solve all my problems. I'm sharing, not asking for advice; all I want is for you to listen. Chances are I'm dealing with the problem fine.
> 
> 2. Not all women are interested in bags and hair and clothes and shoes and interior decorating. Some of us prefer music and books and ideas.
> 
> 3. Washing-up isn't really a hobby that appeals to women either.


Re:

1. My response could be related to how you seem to be _coping_ with the 'not all perfect'. Advice may be called for, even if you haven't called for it.

2. Of course.

3. Women don't like to wash up? Hmm; what does 'washing-up' signify in NZ?


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Ingélou said:


> Yes,* listening is a good start*. We don't all listen properly all the time, but most women don't find it difficult to say, 'Oh sorry, I was in a dream world - what did you say?', rather than pretending or brazening it out.
> 
> And of course, most women do take turns in conversations, and wait till the other person has finished, rather than second-guessing how it was going to turn out and diving in, because they want it to be their go faster.
> 
> ...


Yes indeed, I know all about one-way conversations, and The Royal We. Yes dear, yes dear. :tiphat::tiphat:


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

mamascarlatti said:


> 1. *Gentlemen, when I tell you about my day, and perhaps things were not all perfect, don't jump in immediately and give me unsolicited advice on how to solve all my problems.* I'm sharing, not asking for advice; all I want is for you to listen. Chances are I'm dealing with the problem fine.
> 
> 2. Not all women are interested in bags and hair and clothes and shoes and interior decorating. Some of us prefer music and books and ideas.
> 
> 3. Washing-up isn't really a hobby that appeals to women either.


Yes indeed, it's just decompression. Let the balloon deflate. Say nothing, and nod a few times.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Ukko said:


> Re:
> 
> 1. My response could be related to how you seem to be _coping_ with the 'not all perfect'. Advice may be called for, even if you haven't called for it.
> 
> ...


That the male will be washing the dishes, if there is not an automatic dishwasher on the premises.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Ingelou had a really good point. Most women talk to get something off their minds rather than to actually look for help. They prefer to find the answer themselves. Even if a man (or woman) must look on anxiously wishing to give the answer.

If you thought women are "hard to understand," well here's the truth: we don't understand ourselves either!  In all seriousness, I'm surprised at myself too sometimes why I act in certain ways. Then again, there are certain things I think I really recognize in myself. One of them is to "overwork" things in my mind, remember things for too long, dwell on them until they make me anxious. "What did he/she mean by that?" I might ask myself for many days, and yet never be brave enough to ask. When I learned that men don't really hold grudges the same way as women, that was a big surprise for me.

Here's another good insight: Women want to be a _part _of the action. Just because they might sometimes be squeamish to get dirty or be in a risky situation doesn't mean that deep down inside, they want to make a difference in "the story of life." Think about Eowyn. She embodies that desire for women not just to be on the sidelines of life, but to be a real heroine, a necessary part of the picture. When you take that into relationships, what you discover is that a woman, if she really loves you, will tend towards a kind of sacrifice that not only says, "I will let you lead" but also "I will be there to help you when _you _fall." The "Helper" role of the woman is not subservience, but actually willful, critical contribution to a cause, which is that of the relationship. In some of the stories that I've written, I have my females end up changing the character of another man for a major development in the plot.

Another psychological condition of women is that of the "Damsel in Distress." Women like the idea of being "rescued," to be able to "root for" someone they love, but not rescued so that they can sit on the sidelines as a trophy. Rescued so they can likewise make a difference in others. We may have our troubles, but we the potential to be brave at heart.


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## Blake (Nov 6, 2013)

I haven't met anyone who has figured themselves out, no matter what sex. Myself included.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Lope de Aguirre said:


> All I know is that when she says 'can we talk' it usually means I have to do/change something. No rest for the weary.


It also can mean the relationship is OVER!!!


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

hpowders said:


> It also can mean the relationship is OVER!!!


That's true but since we're both Christians, 'divorce' isn't an option. Paradoxically, the divorce rate among Christians is just as high as the rate among non Christians. 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce. For shame.


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## aimee (Nov 7, 2013)

an answer from the picture -- women love to ...exercise


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

aimee said:


> an answer from the picture -- women love to ...exercise


Occasionally in the summer, my mom and I will go to the Mall _specifically _to walk, with no intention of buying anything. We usually don't go into the stores, just in the halls, for the entire Mall. Then we might go back and buy something, but it is an aerobic workout!


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## mmsbls (Mar 6, 2011)

I'm not sure which thread this belongs in (Question to Men or Women), but one of the wittiest cartoons I've ever seen had the caption: Women's Porn and showed a picture of a man doing the dishes.


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## clara s (Jan 6, 2014)

Ladies, do not reveal our secrets

Gentlemen please do not ask for our secrets to be revealed,
because when the mystery goes away, together goes all beauty of men-women bond...

and yes, its wonderful to be in the shops the whole day, for unimportant things,
like shoes, bags, clothes etc etc


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

clara s said:


> Ladies, do not reveal our secrets
> 
> Gentlemen please do not ask for our secrets to be revealed,
> because when the mystery goes away, together goes all beauty of men-women bond...
> ...


Don't worry - the mystery never *can* go away!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

clara s said:


> Ladies, do not reveal our secrets
> 
> Gentlemen please do not ask for our secrets to be revealed,
> because when the mystery goes away, together goes all beauty of men-women bond...
> ...


That's why modern shopping malls have plenty of benches! I've yet to see ONE WOMAN ever sitting on any of them!! :lol:


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## clara s (Jan 6, 2014)

ingélou said:


> don't worry - the mystery never *can* go away!
> 
> View attachment 43752


cherchez la femme...


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Men have studied women since time began, and so far, not one has come up with the definitive answer to the mystery.

I watch the news every day hoping that finally, this will be the day for the great breakthrough.


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## clara s (Jan 6, 2014)

hpowders said:


> That's why modern shopping malls have plenty of benches! I've yet to see ONE WOMAN ever sitting on any of them!! :lol:


hahaha what a waste of time this would be


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

clara s said:


> hahaha what a waste of time this would be


The folks sitting on those benches answer to Tom; Dick; Harry; Moe; Larry and Curley; HUSBANDS!!!


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## Chris (Jun 1, 2010)

I'd answer these women but we're playing Honduras in a few minutes


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

Mystery shmystery. Amongst mammals, the female is the superior crittur except for - on average - physical strength. Civilization has been preempted by women for the purpose of negating that single advantage.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

hpowders said:


> The folks sitting on those benches answer to Tom; Dick; Harry; Moe; Larry and Curley; HUSBANDS!!!


This reminds me of a time when Laura Ashley shops existed in only a few places - London, Paris, and Chester, where my mother lived at the time. The dress shop was in one of the Chester 'Rows', and a local joked that it was easy to find, because you just looked for all the bored husbands and boyfriends hanging about outside.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Ukko said:


> Mystery shmystery. Amongst mammals, the female is the superior crittur except for - on average - physical strength. Civilization has been preempted by women for the purpose of negating that single advantage.


Probably true. They outlive us and seemingly do not need much sleep. I have observed some representatives of their species going to bed at 2-3 AM and getting up at 7 AM completely refreshed, whereas a representative sampling of males are zonked out at 11 PM and also get up at 7 AM. The females from the sample seem to have an unlimited supply of energy too.

To add insult to injury, childbirth agony would probably cause most males to expire.


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## clara s (Jan 6, 2014)

Chris said:


> I'd answer these women but we're playing Honduras in a few minutes


I am curious how the men of beautiful Wirral reply to women

(of course after the end of the match)


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Ingélou said:


> This reminds me of a time when Laura Ashley shops existed in only a few places - London, Paris, and Chester, where my mother lived at the time. The dress shop was in one of the Chester 'Rows', and a local joked that it was easy to find, because you just looked for all the bored husbands and boyfriends hanging about outside.


Yes. Whenever I'm at the mall, the benches are full of them. Why don't the women just simply drive to the malls without their husbands?


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

hpowders said:


> Yes. Whenever I'm at the mall, the benches are full of them. Why don't the women just simply drive to the malls without their husbands?


I ask myself this very same question whenever I am sitting on a mall bench. Can't complain too much though, I get myself a coffee and watch the 'sheep' do their thing with a look of faux disdain on my face.


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## Chris (Jun 1, 2010)

clara s said:


> I am curious how the men of beautiful Wirral reply to women
> 
> (of course after the end of the match)


It's OK Clara they're still on the pre-match buildup.

As far as I am aware the men of Wirral address their female counterparts with nothing short of Spanish politeness. One reads of the occasional domestic fracas in the local press but these reports are no doubt inflated with journalistic hyperbole and exaggeration.

Kick off in three minutes.....


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## aimee (Nov 7, 2013)

being a bit... descriptive is how women usually are


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Lope de Aguirre said:


> I ask myself this very same question whenever I am sitting on a mall bench. Can't complain too much though, I get myself a coffee and watch the 'sheep' do their thing with a look of faux disdain on my face.


It's a fine time to grab a Starbucks to go, find a leather chair that vibrates or at least has some lumbar support (they are around, but get there early) and listen to Gotterdämmerung on the ipod....maybe twice!


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

clara s said:


> and yes, its wonderful to be in the shops the whole day, for unimportant things,
> like shoes, bags, clothes etc etc


I'd rather be in the shops all day for important things like opera cds and dvds except that all such shops have disappeared, which is why you are more likely to find me scrolling through the Presto Classical "Future Releases" than at my local mall.


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

hpowders said:


> It's a fine time to grab a Starbucks to go, find a leather chair that vibrates or at least has some lumbar support (they are around, but get there early) and listen to Gotterdämmerung on the ipod....maybe twice!


Coffee in a paper cup with a plastic drip-proof lid???? Not for me - I'm a grown up!!!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Headphone Hermit said:


> Coffee in a paper cup with a plastic drip-proof lid???? Not for me - I'm a grown up!!!


Well you can always buy a Starbucks mug for 7 Euros at the store or simply bring your own mug and transfer the coffee.

I hate coffee served in a cardboard cup. There ought to be a law!


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## SiegendesLicht (Mar 4, 2012)

mamascarlatti said:


> I'd rather be in the shops all day for important things like opera cds and dvds except that all such shops have disappeared, which is why you are more likely to find me scrolling through the Presto Classical "Future Releases" than at my local mall.


Every time I go to Germany to visit my man I set a day aside for book shopping (usually the last day). I buy books on German history, assorted fiction etc, books that have not been translated into Russian or ever published in my country (the studies of German history here are usually limited to WWII and "how we beat those devils"). When I am finished reading all the books I brought, I go and buy a new pile. It's so much more fun than shopping for clothes or cosmetics.


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## clara s (Jan 6, 2014)

mamascarlatti said:


> I'd rather be in the shops all day for important things like opera cds and dvds except that all such shops have disappeared, which is why you are more likely to find me scrolling through the Presto Classical "Future Releases" than at my local mall.


1. All in good measure, as an old saying advises

2. If clothing is an inferior subject, then how you would attend your favourite operas
like Traviata and Aida, without all these extraordinary costumes?

3. Fashion design is art too, if somebody can appreciate it


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## Varick (Apr 30, 2014)

mamascarlatti said:


> 1. Gentlemen, when I tell you about my day, and perhaps things were not all perfect, don't jump in immediately and give me unsolicited advice on how to solve all my problems. I'm sharing, not asking for advice; all I want is for you to listen. Chances are I'm dealing with the problem fine.





Huilunsoittaja said:


> Ingelou had a really good point. Most women talk to get something off their minds rather than to actually look for help. They prefer to find the answer themselves. Even if a man (or woman) must look on anxiously wishing to give the answer.


For all the women and men here:






Hysterical! (and clean).

V


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