# Mozart and Schoenberg Walk into a Bar...



## Klassic (Dec 19, 2015)

Mozart and Schoenberg walk into a bar. Mozart says to the bartender, "I'll have what everyone else is having." The bartender turns to Schoenberg and says, "what about you?" Schoenberg says....???


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

"I'll just have a Gin and Atone-ic".


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## Harold in Columbia (Jan 10, 2016)

Mozart and Schönberg walk into a bar.

Half of Mozart and Schönberg walk into another bar.

Mozart and another half of Mozart and Schönberg walk into yet another bar, and suddenly Schönberg realizes there's just one of Mozart there, and all of Mozart was in the last bar all along.


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## Johnhanks (Feb 21, 2016)

Klassic said:


> Mozart and Schoenberg walk into a bar. Mozart says to the bartender, "I'll have what everyone else is having." The bartender turns to Schoenberg and says, "what about you?" Schoenberg says....???


"What's your best Scotch?"
Barman points to a bottle of Laphroaig: "Just about perfect," he says.
Schoenberg pulls out a gun and blasts the bottle to smithereens.
"What the hell d'you do that for?" says Mozart.
"One thing I can't stand," says Schoenberg, blowing the smoke from the barrel, "is a perfect fifth."


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

Mozart comes into a bar, where Schönberg is sitting. 
Mozart turns to Schönberg and says: "so ... wigs are no longer in fashion?"


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

*deleted* lousy joke, no bar, only 1 like.


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## Dim7 (Apr 24, 2009)

Mozart to Schoenberg: "Arnie, why are you destroying that wall between this and the other bar?"
Schoenberg: "I'm trying to undermine the barlines."


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Post sent to a different bar for repair.


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## Guest (Mar 12, 2016)

I'm trying work one up involving a row of 12 single malts, but it's not happening.


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## motoboy (May 19, 2008)

Schoenberg asks about Mozart's bumper sticker "To be One, ask One."


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## GreenMamba (Oct 14, 2012)

dogen said:


> I'm trying work one up involving a row of 12 single malts, but it's not happening.


"If 12 single malts don't kill the taste, nothing will!"


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

> *Quote Originally Posted by Klassic View Post
> 
> Mozart and Schoenberg walk into a bar. Mozart says to the bartender, "I'll have what everyone else is having." The bartender turns to Schoenberg and says, "what about you?" Schoenberg says....??? *


". . . a wig. But I don't think it will Rogaine my confidence any."


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

Mozart and Schoenberg walk into a bar. Mozart says to the bartender, "I'll have what everyone else is having." The bartender turns to Schoenberg and says, "what about you?" Schoenberg says "The same." "Anything to eat, gentlemen?"

Mozart: "I'll have a burger."
Schoenberg: "Just some cereal."


I'll get my coat.


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## Balthazar (Aug 30, 2014)

"I'll have one of each."




That's the right answer, isn't it?


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## Guest (Mar 12, 2016)

Dr Johnson said:


> I'll get my coat.


Frankly, I'm surprised you took it off.


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## MarkW (Feb 16, 2015)

Mozart and Schoenberg walk into a bar. Mozart says to the bartender, "I'll have what everyone else is having." The bartender turns to Schoenberg. Schoenberg says "I already am."


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## Guest (Mar 13, 2016)

Schoenberg pulls out his Registered Atonalist card, takes a moment to enjoy the looks of terror, and leaves the bar an hour later after dissolving the bodies in hydrofluoric acid. He then pulls out a small notebook labeled "Destroying Music: Agenda" opens to the front page, and puts a single line through the word "Mozart".


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Mozart and Schoenberg are not in the mood for alcohol. They go to a cafe instead. Mozart orders espressivo. Schoenberg orders dodecaphonated.


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## Richannes Wrahms (Jan 6, 2014)

Sorry I fell asleep while reading the title.


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

nathanb said:


> *Schoenberg pulls out his Registered Atonalist card*, takes a moment to enjoy the looks of terror, and leaves the bar an hour later after dissolving the bodies in hydrofluoric acid. He then pulls out a small notebook labeled "Destroying Music: Agenda" opens to the front page, and puts a single line through the word "Mozart".


. . . or Schoenberg pulls out his Registered Atonalist card and says, "_I have right here in my hand, a list of known columnists who have infiltrated the top echelons of the classical music threads and are unloyal to the Postmodernist State of Amerika."
_
- Only its in his own mind and not in a bar.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Sorry I fell asleep while reading the title.


This one


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