# Touch: Chapter 11 (Part 2)



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Coming to his home, Nadia saw it a lot different than she usually did. The curtains were open, letting lots of light into the room. Andrei was not sitting at his couch but actually at a table with several large books and sheets of paper in front of him. Hearing Nadia's footsteps enter, he actually grinned.

"So you now see what I do with myself during the day," he said. "Look here," he beckoned her closer.

Nadia stepped up to the table and looked at the books. There were no words, only imprints of dots.

"I'm learning to read all over again," he said cheerfully. "This is Braille. Have you ever heard of it?"

"I'm not sure I have. Is it a code?"

"Yes, a code of touch. See, feel it," he beckoned Nadia to move her hand over the dotted lines.

Nadia did indeed feel minute bumps on the page, and this intrigued her further.

"So, each dot is a letter?"

"Well, usually it's more than 1 for letters, sometimes up to 5. Let me show you how it works."

Taking one hand, he set the fingers on a particular line of dots. Reading word for word slowly, this is what he translated:

"'I am his Highness' dog at Kew; pray tell me sir, whose dog are you?'"

Nadia hadn't laughed in a long time as hard as she did then. It felt very refreshing. Even Andrei started laughing, something that Nadia had never heard him before do. His was a pleasant laugh to hear.

"What a joke!" she finally exclaimed. Relaxing herself, she finally remembered what she initially came here for.

"Andrei, I came here early today because I wanted to use your piano to practice."

"Oh?" Andrei raised his eyebrows. "You aren't going to the Conservatory?"

"No... not anymore."

"Why not."

"Maxim is there."

"Has he been bothering you?"

"Yes. I found him... manipulative."

The term suddenly struck Nadia at that moment. Yes, he _was_ very manipulative. And even though she didn't have much against him, it was enough to avoid him.

"I see... Well, go ahead," and he remained quiet for a time.

Nadia went over to the piano and began playing some scales and technique. She also started doing solos. Although Andrei was practicing his reading of Braille, Nadia could tell that he was no longer focusing on it. She first felt uneasy by his observation of her, but she decided it wasn't right for it to bother her. She became increasingly more bold, playing more and more difficult things for herself.

"How long have you played piano now?" he asked excitedly when she made a pause.

"Only 2 months, as long as we've been working on this symphony."

"Wow, that's a short time indeed! I would have expected a player like you to have learned it for maybe 3-4 years."

"Why thank you," Nadia blushed at the high compliment. "Do you really mean it?"

"I do..." Andrei got up from his desk, and approached the piano. "May we play some stuff together?"

Thus began a long and fun session of playing between them, where Andrei and Nadia played various pieces, her doing one hand, and him the other. Andrei asked the servant to get some 4 hand arrangements for her to sightread as well (Andrei had them memorized), although some of it was way beyond what Nadia could do.

"Oh, I wish I had started piano earlier," she said in dismay.

"But it's better than never," he smiled. He began playing a slow lyrical work for a single player alone, and Nadia watched.

"Is that a composition of yours? It sounds like you," she said.

"It 'sounds like me' you say. You are very discerning. You are right. I've written many piano works, a number of chamber pieces, and 7 orchestral works, not including my 2nd symphony now. Our opus is to be number 34. 34... would you believe it?"

Nadia caught the the unusual word he used. "Our."

Soon, it became early evening, and Andrei asked Nadia to stay over for dinner. They began conversations that greatly interested Nadia, and she felt bold enough to ask questions about his life in the past.

"I remember when I first came to the Conservatory, I was 16. I got early admission, and started composing immediately. I made lots of good friends, some who were serious brothers to me... when I was about 20, as a group we use to go to my composition professor's house, but also this very house, and we played piano and chamber works for each other long into the night. There was one friend in particular..."

His voice strayed away. Nadia wondered what this meant, but she didn't say anything.

"Nadia..."

"Yes?"

"How are you? Your very heart right now."

Nadia was quiet for a moment in thought. She felt it was time to explain something to him.

"Andrei, to tell you the truth, something has been tormenting me for a while. I certain... desire. I have felt isolated. Right now especially. And only just now, I realized what the problem was."

"What was it?"

"I have strayed in my relationship with God. He's gone out of my life. And I'm... very pained by it."

"_You_ strayed?" he couldn't help wondering aloud. "I mean," catching himself. "You are a true believer right? God is good to _you_, right?"

"Yes, He is. The only thing is... I've forgotten that."

There was a very long silence between both of them here. Nadia felt she had opened up something she didn't intend, and now it began to overwhelm her slowly but surely.

"Nadia, something else I wanted to tell you," Andrei entered again, hoping to change to mood a little. "I wanted to tell you my proposition that I spoke of yesterday. For already a month, I've thought about this. I am going to give you a settlement with this when I publish it. You are just a much a composer as me here, and I couldn't have done it without you... so, my idea was royalties split in half. What do you say?"

"That much for me? You already pay me so much..." she barely breathed out.

"Yes, I have little need for money, as you've been able to tell. That's... not what I live for, I've realized."

"Yes, thank you," she barely replied. She was deathly pale.

Nadia suggested that they would begin with the work, which Andrei was first reluctant to do. But seeing that she was not in a good mood, he felt it was the right time to get serious with work on his 3rd movement.

Andrei was already done with it in his mind, and it only took time to dictate it all. Working for several hours straight, he poured out his heart into the piano, dictating what voices he wanted in certain spots, dynamics, and anything else he had always been doing. Nadia obediently wrote it all down in silence.

Around 10 PM, a huge amount was done, to the point that they were on the climax of tragedy. Nadia stared at the very notes she was writing in awe and deep grief.

"This is him... he's writing out his soul," she thought. "It's so real... so beautiful... and it's more than that. This is me too... He is a broken man, but he has a soul too. What Maxim said was wrong! So wrong! And... I believed it... Oh God... what have I done... what have I done..."

"Oh God," she whispered with a broken voice, and put her face into her hands sobbing. There was no sound for a moment, but Nadia could hear Andrei slowly get up and move toward her. He embraced her as she sat in her chair.

Nothing was said for a long time.


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