# Touch: Chapter 17



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Nadia returned to her empty home dejectedly. She slept poorly that night because of her racing thoughts.

"Just wait until tomorrow, then everything will be resolved," one thought would go, but other thoughts immediately followed:

"What if I've made a mistake? What if I'm just over-thinking it all? What if Andrei's intentions aren't at all what I thought they were, and he just wants to be my friend? 'Just friends' he might say. Just friends... but I don't want that...

"What hope do I have? What has he shown me that was so special? And what have I shown him? Anything? He probably doesn't realize how we've changed towards each other... or has he? Oh, he's so silent about such things! Perhaps he is... as confused as me..."

Nadia forced herself to fall asleep eventually, and woke up at almost noon the next day, although not exactly refreshed. Her nerves woke up on alert.

Nadia didn't have many dreams, but this night she had one. And it was unlike anything she ever had before. She dreamed that she was with Andrei, in the same room as they've always worked together in, when a dark figure came from the front door. It had no face, but only a form. Suddenly, it grabbed her in the dream, and took its hand and smashed it into her eyes. Instantly, she could see nothing. Groping around, she couldn't fight back as the figure continually beat her. "Andrei!" she cried pitifully in the dream, and she heard him get up and a struggle commenced, but she still couldn't see. Suddenly, she realized why she couldn't see: a blindfold was on her. Because she was free from the foe, she took it off, and looked at it. One word was written on it.

"Fear."

Nadia woke up at 11:30 then. She stared at the ceiling.



Nadia took her Bible and read through some of her favorite passages. One of them was 1 Peter 5:6-7

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

"Yes," Nadia thought, "God cares for me. And whatever his plan is for my life, I will do it now. I have nothing to lose."

Being spiritually strengthened and encouraged, she felt ready to meet Andrei, whatever he did.



It was now a minute to 8. Nadia had eaten alone, and now came to Andrei's doorstep. To her surprise, the door was opened just an inch. She knocked on the door anyways.

"Is that you Nadia? Please come in!"

Nadia slowly opened to door. No on was around. Walking forward, she entered the living room.

It was set up in a way she had never seen it. The couches and tables were all pushed to the sides, and even the piano was pushed to a corner. It was a plain emptiness except for the dark red and gold carpet. She also noticed immediately a gramophone on the edge.

Andrei stood right in the center of the room, wearing a black suit.

Nadia frowned in confusion. "What is this?" she said to herself.

"Hello, Nadia," he said gravely. "Before I speak to you further, I would ask a favor of you. Will you dance with me?"

Nadia's eyes went wide. What a proposition!

"Me?"

"Yes, you, Nadia. Will you?"

"Where is the servant?"

Andrei smiled. "He's on a well-deserved holiday tonight. It's just us."

Seeing that everything was set for it, Nadia felt prompted to comply. But the way he said it was different than a command. She felt he said it like it was the most honorable thing he could do for her.

"Very well. I shall," she said resolutely, and stepped onto the dance floor.

Andrei grinned brightly, and stepped slowly towards the gramophone.

"This is for you, Nadia." He turned it on, and put the spike on the record.

Turning back to her, he held her hand, and bowed. The music began.

Nadia went pale.

Nothing was said for 4 minutes. Andrei and Nadia had begun a waltz.

Much beyond Nadia's expectations, he danced almost as well as he played piano. Although both had to guide each other, it was completely smooth. But the dancing was not that particularly struck her.

It was the same waltz as she had heard Andrei play the day after he decided to convert. But it was with violin and orchestra in a stunning arrangement.

When it ended, they stood by each other in the center of the room in silence.

"Do you know why I did this, Nadia."

"No." Her voice was very small.

"That wasn't my composition. That was Alexey's. He wrote it. But I arranged it for violin and orchestra after he died. Because on his death bed, he gave it to me."

Nadia stared into space.

"The last time I saw it, he told me I could take all the royalties I wanted out of it, since it would now be mine. But I told him I would never use his music in that way! So he let me use it as I willed, but he made me promise to use at least once in my life for something. When he died, I made such a vow to myself. That it would be danced, not once... but with only one person. And that person... would be the one I would to ask to live the rest of my life with."

Nadia continued staring into space, but she was hearing every word. But she had melted inside.

"Nadia..." he went down on his knees, pressing her hands. "I love you."

Now Nadia had to look at him. He was staring intently into her face, but he bent down his eyes in shame.

"Will you marry this unworthy wretch?"

"No." He looked up immediately back at her, aghast.

But it was not Nadia's intention to torture him. It was far more that she wanted.

"No, Andrei," she repeated evenly and calmly. "I will marry the most wonderful man I have ever known in my life. And that man is who you truly are. That man is you."

He shut his eyes, and kissed Nadia's hands. Nadia fell to her own knees and they embraced more tightly than they ever had before.

Andrei touched her face again, in the same way he had before. Searching her features, he finally put his hand over her eyes.

"Nadia, for one moment... would you be with me?"

"I will... and forever."

They kissed.



Since it was not through sight that Andrei and Nadia came to love each other, sight wouldn't accomplish anything more for them now.



All they would need was touch...


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