# How do you appreciate and/or enjoy life?



## brotagonist (Jul 11, 2013)

So often we are enjoined by both well-meaning and meddlesome others to enjoy life. Typically, they have narrow preconceptions of what enjoyment is, which is often defined as taking fashionable vacations to far-off lands, eating and drinking prodigiously, generally spending one's savings on passing frivolity, wanton experience and useless consumption, etc. We are not doing as they do, so we must not be enjoying life.

While all of these have their merits-within reason-how do you _truly_ enjoy life? Is appreciating life and enjoying life the same thing? _Without shifting the value obtained to others_, like family or friends and other significant individuals and groups, how do you _yourself_ derive enjoyment and meaning in and from life?


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

I'm all for "passing frivolity [and] wanton experience", but, without wishing to sound too solemn, the quality of life is down to the quality of the relationships (in the broadest sense) you have.


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## brotagonist (Jul 11, 2013)

^ But I did expressly indicate that I was looking for indications of how you _yourself_ derive enjoyment from life, not how others in your life give it meaning


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

brotagonist said:


> ^ But I did expressly indicate that I was looking for indications of how you _yourself_ derive enjoyment from life, not how others in your life give it meaning


Doh! Sorry, sloppy speed reading. 

In that case I shall have to fall back on passing frivolity and wanton experience.


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

brotagonist said:


> ^ But I did expressly indicate that I was looking for indications of how you _yourself_ derive enjoyment from life, not how others in your life give it meaning


The issue is that human beings are not meant to exist automonously-we are meant to live in communion with others; we are social creatures. Part of the reason why so many in the First World are lonely is because there's no sense of community anymore; no source of emotional support. We have every commodity at our fingertips and life has never been more convenient and yet . . .

In the West, very often, loneliness and misery live in expensive neighbourhoods and homes.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

The New Testament has two words which are translated "eternal life." It has been described as something which "operates simultaneously outside of time, inside of time, and beyond time – i.e. what gives time its everlasting meaning for the believer." It is the difference between being outside, where the weather constantly changes, versus being inside, in a room where the climate and temperature is always the same. 

Personally, I try to focus on finding this place in this life. Then I'm not bothered by what others do or what events occur.


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## brotagonist (Jul 11, 2013)

Manxfeeder said:


> ...something which "operates simultaneously outside of time, inside of time, and beyond time... It is the difference between being outside, where the weather constantly changes, versus being inside, in a room where the climate and temperature is always the same.
> 
> Personally, I try to focus on finding this place in this life. Then I'm not bothered by what others do or what events occur.


Relevant 

A gentle reminder to members and others that religious discussion belongs in the religion groups  This is not a bible studies thread


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## Xaltotun (Sep 3, 2010)

It's hard to answer this without mentioning relationships with others. Those are the most important things to me. But in addition to those, life seems to me to be at its fullest when I'm reading, observing nature and plants, or having a deep discussion about culture/art/philosophy/theology/etc.


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## Guest (Sep 7, 2015)

I suspect, given the parameters (of the ToS as noted) it may be difficult if not impossible for responses except from those who self-describe as "atheist" or "non-religious."


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## Gaspard de la Nuit (Oct 20, 2014)

Morimur said:


> The issue is that human beings are not meant to exist automonously-we are meant to live in communion with others; we are social creatures. Part of the reason why so many in the First World are lonely is because there's no sense of community anymore; no source of emotional support. We have every commodity at our fingertips and life has never been more convenient and yet . . .
> 
> In the West, very often, loneliness and misery live in expensive neighbourhoods and homes.


Wow, I actually agree with a post of yours for a change 

It's true, this is how I feel; other than my cousins who (though quite numerous) probably don't really like me that much (though I can't say that for sure) I don't have any connection, friends, community - it's a rotten way to live.

Though in my case a lot of it is social anxiety, it's pretty clear that the point he made is agonizingly true.

And to answer this thread, I have no idea, I haven't felt a shred of genuine enjoyment in over three years - it's not that I don't see a way out as much as that my efforts to do something are very frustrated.


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## Gaspard de la Nuit (Oct 20, 2014)

But to respond to this thread in a more positive way, I picture myself enjoying interacting and participating with others in group, team or collaborative activities and being a part of the world for the inherent joy those things would bring....but I also think all joy is dependent on feeling my life has a profound purpose.


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## Antiquarian (Apr 29, 2014)

I enjoy life by learning. Intellectual stimulation makes me appreciate life. For instance, several weeks ago I read _Foucault's Pendulum _by Umberto Eco. I was curious about the subject matter, and read other neglected books in my library, among them _The Teutonic Knights: A Military History _ by William Urban, all the way down to _The Temple and The Lodge_ by Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh. (No, I did not read any Dan Brown.) What I am trying to express is that, to me, expanding and enriching the life of the mind is the best way for me to enjoy life. It's not the fact that I may have learned something that the great bulk of humanity neither cares about nor is even aware of, but that my appreciation of the world with its profound strangeness has increased. Reading, listening to good music, travelling, all contribute to this happy state. In my opinion, when you stop learning then you, in many respects, stop living.


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## GhenghisKhan (Dec 25, 2014)

I hit the gym, one or two hours of boxing or kickboxing or MMA after work. 

Maybe 1 or two hours of classical music in the evening. 

I used to just run and chill in front of the computer alone. Honestly it's not that bad of a life. But now that I'm back at work, I find that this mindless googling is not particularly taxing but not relaxing at all either. 

So now my etho is Work hard, play hard. Not sure what I'm going to do for relaxation but maybe once every two weeks I'll try to organize something special.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I've always been a "self-sufficient" kind of guy (introverted loner).

I get satisfaction from driving my BMW coupé at nice speeds; marveling at the exquisite German engineering.

Otherwise, it's mostly my music that provides my appreciation for life, the more spiritual (Bach's WTC), the better.

When I was a kid-awkward, never included in the school cliques, painfully shy; if it wasn't for the great works of Beethoven, Brahms, Tchaikovsky and Mozart to provide solace, I don't believe I would be here now typing this.

As a kid, these composers taught me there is more to appreciate in life than simply being invited to parties.


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

hpowders said:


> I've always been a "self-sufficient" kind of guy (introverted loner).
> 
> *I get satisfaction from driving my BMW coupé at nice speeds;* marveling at the exquisite German engineering.
> 
> ...


Good man! :tiphat:


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## GhenghisKhan (Dec 25, 2014)

I also have a BMW

Bus Metro Walk. 

I troll people with german cars by standing in the middle of an intersection and looking as if I was hesitating between which side of the street I would like to be on.


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## Guest (Sep 9, 2015)

I have a Skoda. This probably explains why I'm wracked with existential angst. It's badly dented too.


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

Nothing wrong with Skodas!

They can be driven briskly around country lanes too.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Thinking, or self-awareness, is the key to life for me. I need to savour experience & reflect on its significance. I like to look backwards and forwards and see people and events as structurally part of my life. There are levels of consciousness, and there is part of me that watches my life. What E. Nesbit the children's writer called 'inside realness' (or her character Oswald Bastable did).

The trouble is, my self-awareness, which I value, can turn to self-consciousness, which cripples. On the good side, though, my awareness can help me to empathise.

One type of happiness is being so absorbed in an activity that my watcher relaxes for a while, but I still need time afterwards to reflect. Another sort is to look at everyone & everything with love - delighting in their individual beauty or _haecceitas_ - reaching for the place described by Manxfeeder above. :tiphat:

I have never been tempted by activities like drinking or drugs that would blur my 'inside-realness'.

I think all that has been said above about love, kindness & social relationships is vital too. Otherwise the self/soul/consciousness would be in a type of hell.


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## david johnson (Jun 25, 2007)

Since I retired, I have found immense pleasure in realizing "I do not have to work, today". I dig reclining on the couch/bed listening to rain fall. In general, doing what I want when I want is great fun after many years of work


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## ArtMusic (Jan 5, 2013)

Not in any particular order,

- consume fine arts
- a partner you care about
- friends
- family
- healthy simple life


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## Ilarion (May 22, 2015)

To brotagonist,

Thanx for a nice thread:tiphat::guitar::trp::cheers:

For me, its about investing in relationships(not necessarily with money)...You get out what you put in, simple eh? Then comes enjoying things in moderation...not too much single malt whisky, wine, beer, vodka, food, and the like. However, with music, its a different story. I get "stoned" on great music...No, I use no psychotropics, controlled or otherwise!!!


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

I feel like there's only one way to appreciate life, and that is by having a heart of gratitude.

When I experience things from a perspective of gratitude, not only am I experiencing the X object the way it was meant to be experienced, but I'm also enjoying the object the way_ I_ was meant to enjoy things. Religiosity aside, everyone can have a grateful attitude to life. For me, it's to be able to thank a _someone_, other than myself, for something that was given to me. It produces sanity, joy, peace. Awestruck wonder even at the little things in life. That's always a place to grow at in my life, to appreciate the little things besides the big things. I have so much to be grateful in my life, I seriously get overwhelmed thinking about it.


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## georgedelorean (Aug 18, 2017)

I do my best to look at life as a celebration. As a bumper sticker a cousin had on her car at one time said, "Not here for a long time. Just here for a good time."


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## Botschaft (Aug 4, 2017)

To put it simply: I don't.


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## JJF (Aug 25, 2017)

Huilunsoittaja said:


> I feel like there's only one way to appreciate life, and that is by having a heart of gratitude.
> 
> When I experience things from a perspective of gratitude, not only am I experiencing the X object the way it was meant to be experienced, but I'm also enjoying the object the way_ I_ was meant to enjoy things. Religiosity aside, everyone can have a grateful attitude to life. For me, it's to be able to thank a _someone_, other than myself, for something that was given to me. It produces sanity, joy, peace. Awestruck wonder even at the little things in life. That's always a place to grow at in my life, to appreciate the little things besides the big things. I have so much to be grateful in my life, I seriously get overwhelmed thinking about it.


Wonderful. I've learned that there are four pillars for self mastery:
Love
Certainty
Gratitude
Presence

I try to live them every day.


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## Der Titan (Oct 17, 2016)

For me joy of life means to have good friends. Then joy of life means to enjoy life with really everything it has offer, for example classical music. 

But regarding relationships it's important not too easily become hurt. Not to be that sad if a relationship fails. And one of my maxims is: I am not interested in people who are not interested in me.


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## Barbebleu (May 17, 2015)

I enjoy my life. My wife and I are in reasonably good health. I lawn green bowl, play club chess, read, listen to music, play my guitar and flute (not at the same time, I hasten to add), go to the theatre, go to concerts, travel (both at home and abroad), look after my grand-daughter two days a week and my grand-nephews one afternoon a week, go out with friends for meals and drinks or the theatre and generally live life to the full. I think my signature is a fair reflection of my attitude to life. Basically, if you don't mess with me or mine I'll do the same for you. Don't ever look back and think - I wish I had done that or even worse, I wish I hadn't done that.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Dr Johnson said:


> Good man! :tiphat:


What will you do next? Pat me on the head and feed me a milkbone biscuit?


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