# The Avant-Garde Classical Music Program Notes Generator!



## Gordontrek (Jun 22, 2012)

Ever wish you could make an artistic spiel about music like modern composers do? Tired of reading synopses in program booklets and wishing you could write something just like it? Look no further! I present to you the Ultimate Avant-Garde Classical Music Program Notes Generator! 
Simply name sixteen random digits between 1 and 9, then consult the three tables to complete your spiel. For greater simplicity, just write down two six digit numbers and one four digit number, and go left to right through each column matching your number with its corresponding phrase, and voila, instant bullcrap!
For example, 482516 864297 1863 yields the following:


> My goal here is to capture musically the various angles of mankind's desire for love and acceptance and the complexity of modern existence through the lens of the infinite powers of musical modernity. Close your eyes and your soul will be overtaken by a bisected geographical soundscape based on orchestral locale and infinitely capricious thematic juxtapositions through a spritely duet between the full dynamic range of multiple instruments and synchronized helicopter blades. With this piece I hope to bring attention to the current presidential administration's crusade on progress and the overwhelming moral and psychological trauma it wreaks on us. I hope this inspires you to take a stand for progressive change.


Amazing!
Brought to you A Bored Group of Music Majors Wasting Time Over Spring Break Inc. 
The generator is in a word document attached to this post. Show us your results in the posts below!

(I should note that this is entirely a joke and not in any way meant to be degrading towards modern classical composers.)


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Gordontrek said:


> Ever wish you could make an artistic spiel about music like modern composers do? Tired of reading synopses in program booklets and wishing you could write something just like it? Look no further! I present to you the Ultimate Avant-Garde Classical Music Program Notes Generator!
> Simply name sixteen random digits between 1 and 9, then consult the three tables to complete your spiel. For greater simplicity, just write down two six digit numbers and one four digit number, and go left to right through each column matching your number with its corresponding phrase, and voila, instant bullcrap!
> For example, 482516 864297 1863 yields the following:
> 
> ...


Does this work for romantic and classical music also.................


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## Kjetil Heggelund (Jan 4, 2016)

I hope this piece will better explain the eternal nature of the eternal search for our divine and/or material purpose, the complexity of modern existence by evoking physical manifestations of symbolic logic. I want you to listen for unconventional chordal woodwork, the use of non-instrumental objects in the orchestra by unleashing the power of clarinets, your own thoughts and listen especially for a music representation of the struggle between science and religion, its forceful psychological underpinnings. This work will be followed by an equally important one next year.
Makes sense? Stop making sense...


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## tortkis (Jul 13, 2013)

There was The Contemporary Classical Composer's ******** Generator. (I cannot put the direct link because of the site censorship. Go here, scroll down, and click "NEXT ARTICLE".)



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does this work for romantic and classical music also.................


I think so. To be fair, some of Classical/Romantic critics' writings are also full of bombastic meaningless words.


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## David OByrne (Dec 1, 2016)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does this work for romantic and classical music also.................


"My goal here is to capture only notes from a diatonic scale, this will create a more deeper meaning because I'm so deep. I will use chords like C major and G major and alberti bass, to transcend our human understanding of the universe. When I use A minor, I'm not being lazy I'm being deep because I'm so deep. I will ornament notes with a raised 7th but I will never use it in it's natural diatonic use, else it doesn't sound like music. When I use the D major chord it reminds me of Martha, she was the one. Every time you hear a C minor chord, the spirits of the dead rise up and die. The E major triad is my representation of God and our love for his condemnation. The psychological power of this diatonic scale is above everything and is the only thing that has meaning, which is the purpose of expressing in this piece"


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## SuperTonic (Jun 3, 2010)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does this work for romantic and classical music also.................


Well, there is this:



> From Christian Schubart's Ideen zu einer Aesthetik der Tonkunst (1806) translated by Rita Steblin in A History of Key Characteristics in the 18th and Early 19th Centuries. UMI Research Press (1983).
> C major	Completely pure. Its character is: innocence, simplicity, naïvety, children's talk.
> C minor	Declaration of love and at the same time the lament of unhappy love. All languishing, longing, sighing of the love-sick soul lies in this key.
> Db major	A leering key, degenerating into grief and rapture. It cannot laugh, but it can smile; it cannot howl, but it can at least grimace its crying.--Consequently only unusual characters and feelings can be brought out in this key.
> ...


http://biteyourownelbow.com/keychar.htm


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Like I said...................


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