# Classical music lovers and their spouses



## Kevin Pearson (Aug 14, 2009)

Hello everyone! I'm off work today with my wife at home and I was wondering how well do your significant others tolerate your love for classical music? 

Do they like classical themselves? 

Do they understand and support your need to collect music?

Do they have the same taste as yours?

Do you do most of your listening with your spouse or alone?

For myself I am lucky enough to have a wife who enjoys classical music and it was one of the things that brought us together. So, she tolerates my love of it pretty well. Unfortunately our tastes are not always on the same page. Mostly because I devote more time to the hobby by reading about it and am willing to experiment with unknown composers and also delve into more modern pieces. She on the other hand prefers the quieter, more relaxed sounds. Thus when she is around I have to subdue myself to some degree. Since my taste is pretty broad it encompasses many, if not most, of the music she enjoys. Every once in a while I can get her to sit down and listen to something a little more challenging but usually has to be during the daytime when she is well rested. She can't take a lot of stimulation after a hard day at work. 

As for my collecting she has learned to live with it I guess. I inherited the collectors bug from my mother and I have collected music my entire life. The only thing that has really slowed me down is subscribing to Spotify. It's really wonderful to be able to hear so many things with such a small investment a month. My wife really approves of Spotify and uses it herself quite a lot also when I'm not around.

My listening to music for most of my life has been a personal and lonely adventure. Much of my listening is done at night after my wife retires. I put on the Sennheiser headphones and head into my private musical world (I prefer to listen on my B&W DM 640s loudspeakers but I have to restrict that to my days off). I would love to have friends to enjoy music with like when I was a teenager but I don't know anyone else who has a passion for classical music the way I do. 

Anyway, I suppose that's a good start for this discussion.

Kevin


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

My husband is off work over the holiday period and I'm listening to far less music than usual. When he's around everything has to come from headphones as he particularly hates my favourite genre (opera) and really can't tolerate sound of any description.

It's 6.30am and I've crept downstairs to get another "fix" of Handel.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

My spouse isn't very interested in classical music, though she likes it in general. But she's made it clear, I don't play Charles Ives when she's around. She tolerates my collection, though she can't understand why it's so big. And she doesn't complain about my purchases, because I have an allowance, if you can call it that, every week of a set amount for gas, food, parking, etc., and if I have money left over for that week, that's what I spend on music. 

Her interest is in literature. I don't have time to read like she does. So together, we balance each other out. 

I do think it's interesting that one year for my birthday she bought me a stereo system, but then for our anniversary she bought me headphones. She's bought me two more sets of headphones since then. I should be getting the hint.


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## mmsbls (Mar 6, 2011)

When I met my wife, I basically never listened to classical music. She was a music major (performance in violin) who later played professionally in an orchestra. Now I listen to classical music exclusively and actually listen much more than my wife does. She's happy for me to play anything and buy anything classical. I'm starting to listen to opera, but she is not so fond of that. We'll see what happens if I decide that I really love opera. 

My daughter is a cello major, and all three of us often attend classical concerts together. One game we love, though we're not very good at, is playing my ipod on shuffle and trying to guess the work.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

Like the OP, an obsession with classical music is largely what brought me and my partner together. He's an undergraduate music student (and an amazing pianist and composer I might add  ), and, though I'm an English student, my love for classical music is steadfast and I see myself as an amateur composer.

We both listen to classical music exclusively, but we have divergent tastes. Although we both like to explore modern music and do not consider ourselves conservatives, he is fundamentally a Bach-lover, while I'm fundamentally a Brahmsian. Despite the influences on my idol, I can't stand Bach that much, so I tease him about it lots. 

At the moment, we do most of our listening alone, but we talk about it lots, share pieces and favourite recordings and generally make suggestions to each other.


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## Oskaar (Mar 17, 2011)

My partner is my daughter. She is nine and have started playing saxophone. She domt like it when I am playing classical music...


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

oskaar said:


> My partner is my daughter.


Say WHAT?!


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

Polednice said:


> Say WHAT?!


Obviously Oskaar does not realise that "partner" in English means sexual partner in the context we are using it here. Give him a break.


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## opus55 (Nov 9, 2010)

I met my wife in college and she has known that I'm always more than a casual listener. Back then, I listened to more pop/rock/jazz. I fondly remember when we used to study at her house listening to Rachmaninoff and Tchaikovsky concertos during summer vacation.

After I progressed to more dissonant and heavier late romantic and modern classical, I think she couldn't keep up with me. She was never an avid music lover as I was. She occasionally enjoys Mozart, Beethoven, Bach when I listen to them while driving or upstairs in my study. I don't think she'll ever actively pursue an artist or particular work - she can usually identify composers and genre though.

I rarely use head phones and like playing classical music loud. She's used to the music she always hears in the background when I'm home.

She can play piano well enough to play one of the Bach's Inventions without hitting wrong notes. She would not practice rest of the inventions though. We both encourage our son to experience music so he has taken lessons in violin, piano, trumpet. I know he's not talented but still important to let him have the experience (know from my personal experience, my parents took me to piano lessons).

She complains about my collection of music though. She's somewhat supportive because I used example of my friends who spend far more money on drinking or cars :lol:


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

opus55 said:


> She can play piano well enough to play one of the Bach's Inventions without hitting wrong notes. She would not practice rest of the inventions though. *We both encourage our son to experience music so he has taken lessons in violin, piano, trumpet*. I know he's not talented but still important to let him have the experience (know from my personal experience, my parents took me to piano lessons).


Good for you! You are giving him a great gift.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

oskaar said:


> My partner is my daughter. She is nine and have started playing saxophone. She domt like it when I am playing classical music...


I'll give her a pass because she plays saxophone  (That's my favorite instrument).


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## Dodecaplex (Oct 14, 2011)

I am ever virgin, despite being the father of an upside down brood, and was born an old man in a state of perpetual philosophical grace eons ago.


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## Oskaar (Mar 17, 2011)

mamascarlatti said:


> Obviously Oskaar does not realise that "partner" in English means sexual partner in the context we are using it here. Give him a break.


You are right, mamascarlatti... Excuse my bad english.... I am living allone, and am a part time father....


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

oskaar said:


> You are right, mamascarlatti... Excuse my bad english.... I am living allone, and am a part time father....


I think you are doing just fine with your English:tiphat:. I hope your daughter starts appreciating classical music a bit more through her music studies. My two daughters play classical violin and piano and I'm sure it has made them more receptive to listening to what I like (opera!).


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## brianwalker (Dec 9, 2011)

Really guys?  There's a reason why suicide peaks during the holiday season, especially Christmas and New Year. 

But, do go on. These stories are quite interesting.


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

Polednice said:


> Say WHAT?!


Relax-- he doesn't mean THAT, you really are a caution.

The answer to the wives problem is : Get rid of the wives---they don't like all those wires and equipment all over the place either.


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

I AM a wife.

Get rid of the husbands, they just whinge about opera DVDs all over the place.


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## Kevin Pearson (Aug 14, 2009)

mamascarlatti said:


> I AM a wife.
> 
> Get rid of the husbands, they just whinge about opera DVDs all over the place.


I am a husband but never complain about opera DVDs all over the place. Of course that could be because we don't own any! 

Kevin


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