# Facebook or not Facebook?



## helenora (Sep 13, 2015)

what are your opinions on this thing called FB?

I'm so tired of it and have been thinking of deleting my account since long time ago, but since some of my contacts are using fb quite often , I check my messages using FB. 

People in some countries unfortunately don't like using e-mail  they are just on fb.


----------



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

There are people there that I keep in contact with only through Facebook. I like its private messaging system for that reason. Otherwise, I HATE facebook. People really show their true colors there, of bitterness and self-righteousness. Maybe I just hate people? :lol: Well, that's not too shocking I guess. Facebook is what you put into it, so clearly people are putting a lot of horrid stuff there. If everyone was kind of considerate, then it would be a wonderful place.

I still use Facebook for my creative writing endeavors because it's a safe and reliable place to store my stories. I use the Notes section for that.

I'm pretty sure Facebook algorithms are against me because I post "unpopular" stuff, i.e. things that don't get a lot of likes, so they dismiss my stuff from my friend's feeds. And then people don't know what I'm up to when I do have something big to say. Like, almost none of my friends from college knew I went to a Music Festival last month, it's sad. I posted like 20 things about it, and yet they still didn't know. You would think at least one of those posts would have reached them, no? Likewise, I don't know what's up with 90% of my old friends from college now. Because 90% of my facebook wall is political arguments, advertisements, and pictures and videos of random stuff from popular pages that has nothing to do with my friends.  I read an article a few weeks ago that Facebook was going to fix this and try to make the site more friend-oriented instead of just pop culture spreading around. I'm waiting for that to start happening....


----------



## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Its original purpose of keeping family and friends up to date on life has given way to advertisements, low quality political debate, armchair activism, and saccharine life quotes. I use it to keep in contact with my network via private messaging and events but otherwise avoid it like the plague.


----------



## Xaltotun (Sep 3, 2010)

I've never used it and I don't see that happening. It's a considerable price to pay: I don't keep in touch with people. But I am willing to pay that price.


----------



## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

I'm in touch with everyone I want to be in touch with.

From the little I have seen of Facebook I wouldn't touch it with the longest of barge poles.


----------



## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

I love Facebook. Thankfully, I am less addicted than when I first went on. But it has changed my life. 

There are four things to recommend it: enhanced opportunities for friending - photos - a storehouse for musical or informational links - and private messages.

Through Friends Reunited, I was able to find out the married names of some of the 'girls in my year' and made contact with one of them. She invited me to join Facebook and then I was able to track down some more school friends, for both our benefits. I am now in touch with twelve school friends that I'd lost touch with when I left York at seventeen because my father had got a new job. I felt torn up by the roots at the time and now I am connected again.

I only have 42 friends, and half are family & family dogs. But I have been able to share photos from school and create a family archive in a convenient way. Also, I write a diary of musical events, by downloading the posters from the performers' site. I enjoy sharing information from the National Trust, Norwich Baroque & Visit Scotland. 

I love the messaging service. I can use private messages to my husband to store links in a way that is much more visible and accessible than email files. Also, I can see if my fiddle teacher (say) has seen my letter - it's the best way of cancelling the lesson, if I have to through illness, and rescheduling another, since he's completely inaccessible by phone; or my sister can sound out the possibility of visiting Mum before she goes off to work. It's so handy. 

The ads don't bother me because we use Facebook Purity. But actually they wouldn't anyway. I just ignore them, like those video ads that pop up at the start of YouTube videos. 

Facebook keeps my scattered family & friends in touch. I don't go overboard in posting ridiculous or private details, and there are only about three people on my friends' list that I don't truly know - they were friends of friends - but we are united through love of dance, playing the violin, and going to the same school.

What's not to like?


----------



## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

I like Facebook generally. It's how I keep up with people I know or used to know. Unfortunately, I have so many "friends" from so many areas- some are very religious, some are atheists, some are liberals, some are conservatives - that I can't post very much without offending one of them, so I don't post very much.


----------



## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Manxfeeder said:


> I like Facebook generally. It's how I keep up with people I know or used to know. Unfortunately, I have so many "friends" from so many areas- some are very religious, some are atheists, some are liberals, some are conservatives - that I can't post very much without offending one of them, so I don't post very much.


I know what you mean. I keep off politics and religion (except for wishing people Happy Christmas etc) and stick to matters of music, friendship, health news, and humour.

I post quite a lot...


----------



## Guest (Jul 23, 2016)

Barge pole here too.


----------



## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

I use it everyday, particularly the private message system. Some picture of something, some silly joke, meme, etc. I never engage in discussions about politics, or any kind of argument. Well, I rarely post anything.


----------



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Ingélou said:


> I only have 42 friends, and half are family & family dogs.


That's the key to using Facebook well, a small community. I currently have about 750... perhaps I should clean up a little? I'm a bit of a hoarder, I rarely unfriend anyone and prefer others to make that decision for me.


----------



## Strange Magic (Sep 14, 2015)

I find that email suffices for me to communicate with the so-called "outside, real world" that the Glaruns have me embedded in. They want me to use Facebook, but I continue to resist them....


----------



## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

Ingélou said:


> I only have 42 friends
> 
> What's not to like?


I tried to use NoseBook but after two years or so I gave up because it made me feel really disconnected - I just didn't find what people posted was interesting

42 Friends .... that was about 10 times the number of 'friends' I had ..... I'm not called 'Hermit' by chance


----------



## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

Huilunsoittaja said:


> That's the key to using Facebook well, *a small community*. I currently have about *750*... .


Wah!!!! 750 is what you regard as a *small* community??? I don't think I have that many acquaintances, let alone 'friends'. This thread is making me feel *really* lonely


----------



## Guest (Jul 23, 2016)

750 is a medium-sized city.


----------



## Xenakiboy (May 8, 2016)

I prefer to go without FB but like Huilunsoittaja said, the messaging system has its merits but it's a short list.
I have deleted several Facebook accounts through college and have settled on a tiny one with only a few friends that I'm unable to contact otherwise, also only one post on that account (to show you what I mean).
Though it does also make it easier to contact musicians that don't have a website, I can go months without going on FB.


----------



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Headphone Hermit said:


> Wah!!!! 750 is what you regard as a *small* community??? I don't think I have that many acquaintances, let alone 'friends'. This thread is making me feel *really* lonely


No, Ingelou's number. I heard somewhere a human can only have a good community with something like maximum 100-120 before it becomes impossible to keep up with everyone. I'd say right now, I'm keeping somewhat in touch with maybe _15 _of that 750 people haha! But I could talk to some old friends I haven't spoken to in 6 months, that would be good.

Being a student, and a music student at that, I gain friends on facebook all the time. It's just savvy from a business perspective. We may definitely cross paths again one day. That's why I hoard my friends.


----------



## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

I don't use Facebook, but my wife is on it frequently. She's very social and has tons of good friends who are also on Facebook.


----------



## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Huilunsoittaja said:


> No, Ingelou's number. I heard somewhere a human can only have a good community with something like maximum 100-120 before it becomes impossible to keep up with everyone. I'd say right now, I'm keeping somewhat in touch with maybe _15 _of that 750 people haha! But I could talk to some old friends I haven't spoken to in 6 months, that would be good.
> 
> Being a student, and a music student at that, I gain friends on facebook all the time. It's just savvy from a business perspective. We may definitely cross paths again one day. That's why I hoard my friends.


My fiddle teacher also has about 750 friends. It's true that most of the ones who post on his page are the 'same old crew', but the contacts seem to be very useful for a musician. He doesn't have an agent and arranges a lot of gigs for himself through internet contacts and passes on the ones he can't use, and other people on his grapevine suggest names. They are mostly HIP baroque players and they seem very supportive of each other. 750 is a big village, or the size of a high school with a sixth form, where you know people's faces even if you don't know their names.

If you love music, FB can be useful, just as this site can be. Two of my recent friends are musicians I know from a pub session I go to, and I can post music links of tunes we might want to include, and vice versa.

I think it's a useful place for a musician to visit, like a weekend cottage that sometimes you don't visit for a month or two, when you're busy in the city. But you can sell the cottage, and you can deactivate the account, if it's all getting too much trouble. Horses for courses.


----------



## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

Deleted my account not long ago. Just another useless distraction.


----------



## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Never had a FB account. Don't plan to.


----------



## Xenakiboy (May 8, 2016)

Florestan said:


> Never had a FB account. Don't plan to.


Definitely not a requirement! Wish I could say that.


----------



## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

Would it be reasonable to assume that women use Facebook more than men?


----------



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Bulldog said:


> Would it be reasonable to assume that women use Facebook more than men?


For sharing pictures, articles and videos, yes. Probably instant messaging too.


----------



## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Dr Johnson said:


> I'm in touch with everyone I want to be in touch with.
> 
> From the little I have seen of Facebook I wouldn't touch it with the longest of barge poles.


----------



## Klavierspieler (Jul 16, 2011)

I had a Facebook. Got rid of it a few years ago. Periodically I reactivate it, look around for a minute, and remember why I got rid of it in the first place.


----------



## helenora (Sep 13, 2015)

I've read a lot of comments on their very good messaging system......
well, here is where my question comes from. 
One day after having a chat with my friend through FB messages ( we live in different countries, so no wonder we were chatting), then we exchanged links, nothing of politics or other controversial stuff, but it was a bit of psychology.

Then the next day I wanted to reopen the link in a chat when to my surprise or shock I'd learned that the link was deleted . Instead it was written that the link was deleted because it contained inappropriate information or something like that, don't remember the details. ( in fact as I said it had nothing what could have been supposed to be censored). After that I realized that there is no privacy on fb and especially messaging......since then I've been thinking to get out of that "beastiarium" called facebook.


----------



## OldFashionedGirl (Jul 21, 2013)

I have Facebook, but I use it only to get information about activities of my interest. I never post anything.


----------



## Xenakiboy (May 8, 2016)

Facebook and Twitter are really only good for promoting yourself if your a musician/composer/artist (like me) or a business. The Facebook pages section is alright, though YOU have to link your page everywhere before it starts working it's purpose. Doesn't beat a website though...which I STILL don't have... :lol:


----------



## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

I have a FB account, and use it to stay in touch with family, friends, and former employees. It is also a great tool to learn about what's happening in your city.


----------



## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

My wife informs me on FB & Kontakty (the Russian version). The photo quality of FB is very degraded, the automatically generated suggestions are hilarious & annoying. But we look when the family in Moravia and Auckland post something new. Mostly people put family photos in FB without text (that's too much work, isn't it?). Everything seems to have been designed for small screens.


----------



## Rosie (Jul 4, 2016)

I love Facebook dat where I meet people and make sure my younger brother is behaving


----------



## Abraham Lincoln (Oct 3, 2015)

Facebook:


----------



## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Facebook:


 A Dutch book....what the hack


----------



## Sloe (May 9, 2014)

I use facebook to chat with girls I am intending to see at to keep contact with relatives.


----------



## helenora (Sep 13, 2015)

Sloe said:


> I use facebook to chat with girls I am intending to see at to keep contact with relatives.


yes, it describes FB to the very depth...


----------



## Sloe (May 9, 2014)

helenora said:


> yes, it describes FB to the very depth...


I really don´t like the exposing part of facebook I never upload any pictures or do any status uploads. I think I could just use skype or icq but they have lost their popularity. Facebook is the only way to keep contact with a lot of people.


----------



## helenora (Sep 13, 2015)

Sloe said:


> I really don´t like the exposing part of facebook I never upload any pictures or do any status uploads. I think I could just use skype or icq but they have lost their popularity. Facebook is the only way to keep contact with a lot of people.


absolutely....exactly as you say in some countries people really follow this popularity trends....and they just change means of communication as soon as ¨"fashion" changes. and to keep in touch with these contacts is the only way using fb.....some people don´t even check their e-emails .....but they do check their fb inbox


----------



## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

I like facebook. I 'follow' public institutions and singers' public accounts which is useful for news. 

I don't have many fb friends and most of them are real friends and not virtual friends but virtual friends are nice to have too. I have far flung rellies and it's an easy way to keep up with their news. 

I try not to post links to other things too often and don't put much about myself but when I do I keep it vague and non-controversial. If I post photos I limit the number to three or four. I have a rellie who posts 50 - 60 photos of her children every few days. I love seeing pics of the kids but 20 photos of the same child eating the same pizza ...?

I'm friends with some opera singers but I don't like to broadcast the fact so I keep my friends list private. Love seeing their personal photos and chats with other singers.

I use Social Fixer which is similar to Facebook Purity which means I don't see adverts and I can display things how I want.


----------



## Wood (Feb 21, 2013)

I've never considered using it. It appears to be self-aggrandising. Describing oneself as having hundreds or even thousands of friends is quite ridiculous. There is a danger that it can become a substitute for real friendship.


----------



## Sloe (May 9, 2014)

sospiro said:


> I like facebook. I 'follow' public institutions and singers' public accounts which is useful for news.
> 
> I don't have many fb friends and most of them are real friends and not virtual friends but virtual friends are nice to have too. I have far flung rellies and it's an easy way to keep up with their news.
> .


I had no friends before internet. I had a lonely upbringing so I am very grateful to internet.


----------



## Sloe (May 9, 2014)

Wood said:


> I've never considered using it. It appears to be self-aggrandising. Describing oneself as having hundreds or even thousands of friends is quite ridiculous. There is a danger that it can become a substitute for real friendship.


I think it would be better to call it contacts and why show your contacts to other people I don´t like it.


----------



## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

I use it casually. But I hate looking at that geek Zuckerberg when his picture occasionally appears.


----------



## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Sloe said:


> I had no friends before internet. I had a lonely upbringing so I am very grateful to internet.


Oh Sloe that is so sad. I hope you feel that the forum members on TC are your friends.


----------



## majlis (Jul 24, 2005)

I like FB because I've there my music page, with many followers, and it's something I really love to have and manage. I suscribed in 2009.


----------



## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Wood said:


> I've never considered using it. It appears to be self-aggrandising. Describing oneself as having hundreds or even thousands of friends is quite ridiculous. *There is a danger that it can become a substitute for real friendship.*


Also true of this site. but thankfully it is a way to have friends and like-minded people to talk to because they are not easily found otherwise.


----------



## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Florestan said:


> Also true of this site. but thankfully it is a way to have friends and like-minded people to talk to because they are not easily found otherwise.


This is so true. After all, I never met Moody in person, but he was very real to me after I spent two years writing to him & occasionally speaking on the phone. On my Facebook page I have someone from a violin forum that I belong to and I have had lots of communication with her - she lives in Canada but grew up in the UK and sometimes comes over. I hope one day I'll meet her and we can play some tunes together.


----------



## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

My son has several good friends he met on internet forums (and he does not do FB), one of which helped him get his present job. It is a different culture we live in where you may not know your neighbours because everybody's heads are into electronic devices. One may actually need to go online to find some friends.


----------



## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

dogen said:


> Barge pole here too.


Me too. I'm on Twitter but have no truck with Facebook.


----------



## Judith (Nov 11, 2015)

I use FB for my hobbies such as classical music, history, and keeping in touch with people I wouldn't normally get to meet!


----------



## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Four years ago we had a forum meet up for _Les Troyens_ at ROH and it was so lovely to meet these forum members in person. They were virtual friends before and are real friends now. I've met several others since then who are friends now as well.

A few of my fb friends are forum members too.


----------



## SiegendesLicht (Mar 4, 2012)

I have a Facebook page, but it is pretty much abandoned. I only check it once in a month or two. I used to be a member of a Wagnerian group on FB, but I like this forum much better: more interesting discussions and few posts that consist of a picture only.


----------



## helenora (Sep 13, 2015)

SiegendesLicht said:


> I have a Facebook page, but it is pretty much abandoned. I only check it once in a month or two. I used to be a member of a Wagnerian group on FB, but I like this forum much better: more interesting discussions and few posts that consist of a picture only.


exactly! forums are much productive in this way


----------



## Überstürzter Neumann (Jan 1, 2014)

I have a FaceBook account, and I use it a lot. I have a fairly large network, for the time being 259 friends, and yes quite a few of them are real-life friends as well. Many of them are people I rarely have the opportunity to see because I settled down abroad, and this is a great way to keep the contact. Apart from that, there are those of us who are neither a "liberal" or a "conservative", that is opposed to the established societal order. Since I dabble a bit in organized political work, and since the access to alternate media is important for me, it is a good thing to know like-minded individuals from different places. Finally, I am not on the whole convinced that foras necessarily are better than FaceBook groups when it comes to more specialized interest, my experierince is rather the opposite.


----------



## cwarchc (Apr 28, 2012)

I have an account
I find it a great way to keep in touch with friends and family around the world.
We use it to see what my eldest is up to in Australia, he sends us pictures of his travels/friends/jobs and adventures
We lived in South Africa for a while and it's good to keep in contact with our friends there
We also use Skype, for the same reasons


----------



## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

I use FB on a regular bases for inter-family and close friends communications. I have my account locked down to close friends and family only, otherwise, any of my page content is not readily available. 

I am not obsessed with it however ... it's not a life and death thing if I don't sign into it every single day. It makes for an easy way to share pictures with family who live between 1200 and 3000 miles away and with whom I do not get to see in person all that often. 

I could live without it, too. I get enough "socializing" through my work on our two forums, and with my position as an editing supervisor on a wiki site. 

Kh


----------



## ldiat (Jan 27, 2016)

i use facebook and twitter every day! get the pittsburgh pirates lineup on twitter each game day. learn about current news and events on twitter faster then any tv or radio. i also follow trainers-barns-jockeys and view up to date news about horses. and news about food and places to eat. i keep in touch with people on facebook i used to work with and old friends. went to my high school reunion through facebook. i have a old flip phone so no instagram yet.
OBTW twitter--MLcookie


----------

