# Companion thread for opera one-liners: police news



## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

It may be fun to transform opera plots into news with the style found on the police section of newspapers, with headlines plus the body of the article.

For example, for Das Rheingold:

"Midget robs young women after attempted rape"

"Saturday afternoon in a suburb of Valhalla a midget later identified as Mr. Alberich, a male of Nibelungian origin who is believed to be an illegal immigrant, was arrested by chief god officer Wotan and his side-kick Sargent Loge (a *fire* arms specialist), after a complaint of attempted sexual assault and robbery was filed by Ms. Woglinde, Ms. Wellgunde, and Ms. Flosshilde, three young women who are roommates in an apartment complex located in the bottom of the Rhine. Ms. Wellgunde was tearful when she spoke with our reporter, saying "that disgusting dwarf broke into our apartment and tried to grope me, then took off with some very valuable stuff we had there in our custody." Anonymous sources have speculated that the valuables in question are made of gold and can be used for world domination. Mr. Alberich is said to have crossed the border by the means of underground tunnels. Further developments in this story are pending, since the young ladies claim that the valuables haven't been returned to them yet, in spite of the arrest."



Any takers?


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## emiellucifuge (May 26, 2009)

Yeah that was brilliant.

Ill give it a go, but it might take a while - I dont have the talent


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