# Don't Ask Me Why: Chapter 5



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Tanya was thrilled the night of the first choral concert. She felt perfectly confident in her abilities and in those whom she conducted. She preferred not to use a baton, and only her hands, since that's common for small choirs.

It was for this evening that she wore her new red shoes, which matched her dark red blazer and black skirt. She was certain Marcus would like it. Unfortunately, he was very busy, and was coming back from an all-day conference very late, but Tanya made him promise to come to see her conduct, if he would stay for anything.

The concert took place in the evening in the regular concert hall. It could hold about eight hundred people, so it was very spacious. The chairs were dark blue with red-finished wood arms. It was rectangular in shape, with pointed edges in the front and back. However, there was a domed ceiling that was said to create excellent acoustics. There was wood edging on white walls all around, and some ornate lamps on the aisles.

All the singers took places on ledges built into the stage, which was how it was normally for orchestra concerts too. Four choirs each had their own program, and Tanya was conducting the chamber singers.

After intermission, Tanya went back stage until it was time for her to come on. She gave a text to Marcus that she would be on in fifteen minutes, to warn him to be early enough. When it was her turn, she wasn't nervous that he didn't respond back.

But when walking on stage, her heart sank when he was no where to be found in the crowd. Tanya gave a perfunctory smile to the audience, but turned away agitated. This wasn't what she expected.

Working to maintain her focus, she made it through just fine. She made no unexpected errors, although she still felt a little clumsy with her gestures. The work was only five minutes long, and so it was quickly done.

Somehow she felt a lot more saddened by the piece than she usually did. The music seemed to make her heart ache.

"Where is he?" she wondered desperately to herself, when she turned around again to accept the applause of her listeners. He was still absent. She walked off stage disheartened.

Dr. Johnson as well as the other graduate choral conducting students were there backstage to congratulated her, but she felt discouraged inside. She really wanted Marcus to have seen it, to see her. She immediately rushed to her purse on a table nearby, to check her phone. There were no messages.

Did he forget?

Tanya gritted her teeth.

She became so consumed by her thoughts that she paid no attention to the rest of the concert. Instead, a mixture of frustration and despair overwhelmed her with racing thoughts. Sitting in a chair backstage until the end of the program, she brooded inside, even while clapping for the ending piece was to be heard.

"He knew about this all along, we talked about it yesterday! Surely he knew! He said it wouldn't end that late! What if... he didn't forget... No! He must have, he couldn't have intentionally not come! But wait... did I do something wrong? No of course not! Ugh but why did he let it slip his mind! Not on something like this! He doesn't care... that's it. It has nothing to do with his composition project, why else come? Just because there's a bunch of people doesn't make it more special. He'd seen me do this a dozen times in rehearsal. But... Ugh! I feel awful. That son of a --"

"Hey."

Tanya looked up suddenly from her musing. Ernest was standing in front of her.

"You did a good job. I liked your conducting technique, very fluid."

She stared into his face for a split second.

An involuntary response occurred.

"Thank you!" Tanya replied in complete surprise. Ernest then turned and headed out of the backstage to go to the lobby.

Tanya blinked.

She suddenly stood up, and watched him leave.

He walked past the other graduate choral conducting students. He didn't have a compliment for them.

Tanya sat back, staring at the floor.

What had just happened?

Tanya stood up again and gathered her belongings, heading out through the hall to get to the lobby herself. Her friends, including Marie, were all there, and gave their congratulations. Suddenly Tanya felt more light-hearted.

"Tanya, where is Marcus? Was he traveling today?" someone asked.

"Oh I don't know," she said distractedly. "I ought to get home and check if he's there. He had that... conference..."

"Yeah, it would have been nice if he was here, so then we could have all gone out. But I guess you should go home. Take care!" her friends all said good-bye to her.



When Tanya got home, she found Marcus in his study, madly writing something down.

"Busy?" she asked softly.

He looked up, and in a split second realized everything and threw his hands to his face.

"I'm sorry," he said through his hands. "I should have known it was tonight, but coming home I suddenly hit a huge surge of inspiration and I knew I would lose if I didn't write it down, I must have lost track of time--"

"Yes you did," Tanya said darkly.

"I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?"

"Sure," she said rather casually. Marcus didn't look convinced.

"Can I make it up to you?"

"No. Don't try... do you like my shoes?"

"They were what you bought a month ago, right?" he asked gloomily.

"Yes. Well, now you saw them..."

Tanya walked out of the room without another word for the night.


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