# Critique and Advice



## WarmWater (Sep 3, 2015)

Greetings to all. I have written something like a hymn for a five-part acapella group, and I kindly ask that the writing be critiqued, and that I be advised on how I may improve the behaviour of inner voices, and how I may add a fifth part, which I am yet to add. Here's a link to the audio of the hymn, which begins with a chorus: https://www.bandlab.com/revisions/fe078892-3366-ea11-a94c-0003ffd19c0f


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

I think you need to stagger the quavers or semiquavers between those lower voices. It sounds like you have a pulsing rhythm.


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## WarmWater (Sep 3, 2015)

Thank you for your feedback. I will stagger them. I had put off the task till the time had come that I should put lyrics to the music. 

Apart from this, is there anything else that I can improve?


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

Maybe have the bass do something more during those long notes at the end of a phrase. Listening to it again, I think the pulsing rhythm is because you are ending the bass notes together with the treble too frequently or steadily. You may want to lengthen some durations of those bass notes.


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