# If you don't have an iPhone... well... you don't have an iPhone.



## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

I hate this ad campaign.

What were these publicists thinking? Who do they think they'll win over with this campaign?

See, their best target audiences are the people who don't have iPhones. They don't need to preach to the converted (the iPhone-owning crowd). What they need, is to be sympathetic and attractive to those who *don't* have an iPhone - so that they go and buy iPhones.

Do they think that the best way to win these people over, is to ridicule them, be smug about it, and look down on them? Do they think that by making us non-iPhone owners look stupid, we'll be more likely to buy iPhones???

I don't have an iPhone. I'm pretty happy with my high-end Windows-based smartphone. It does everything that I need, and does it well. I use my phone to: 1) Make phone calls - it does that, and does it well. 2) Browse the Internet - it's got a great and fast browser. 3) Check email and text messages - it does it rather efficiently. 4) Run a few applications that help me - it does it as well. 5) Watch YouTube videos, see family photos, check Facebook and Tweeter - it does all that. It also has a much better camera than iPhones have, and a slide-out full keyboard. It's got a touch-screen, long battery life, and several interesting capabilities - such as the ability to connect to my DVR at home and let me watch any TV channel from my satellite subscription on-the-go. 

The same is true for those who own Android-based phones.

Why in the hell do I need an iPhone? I don't, and when I see this smug, conceited ad, I hate it even more and commit myself even strongly to never buy an iPhone.

Can't Apple see that this stupid campaign works against them?

Opinions?


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

The whole 'Apple is the coolest' thing is back firing I think. I get anything but Apple.


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

I'm not happy hearing about the Chinese workers assembling iphones and other Apple products. Several of them have committed suicide, and now they're making them sign contracts guaranteeing they won't. This is outrageous, needless to say so are their working conditions. & it goes without saying, I'm not a customer of Apple, & I never will be...


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

I hate mobile phones anyway. I hate that feeling I have to be available to anyone when THEY want to talk, whatever I'm doing. When my kids are off my hands I'm turning mine off forever. 

And I already spend too much time on the internet, so no need for a smart phone to make that worse.

I don't own an iPad, iPhone, iPod or Mac. And I don't need to.


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

My wife and I both have and use a mobile phone regularly ... a Motorola Barrage which has the capability to search the web and answer email, but I don't have those features enabled ... checking emails twice a day at home on my desktop PC is quite sufficient for me.

Before we move during the summer months, I'm going to kill the land line, and not have one in the new place. The only people who have been calling us lately on the land line are telemarketers and politicians anyway, so I'm basically _paying_ for them to call and pester me ... that's so insane it's enough to send anyone to the Tokyo giggling academy. (hope not to offend any Japanese members - it's just a very popular line from the old TV comedy series M*A*S*H) 

My son has the latest and greatest iPhone ... loves it .. also pays about $150 (USD) more per month than I pay for our two lines. I enjoy the simplicity of life ... don't need all the bells and whistles. And, I never answer the mobile phone when driving ... they can leave a message and I'll retrieve it later when I'm off the road.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

As we all seem to know, the iPhone's capabilities are not exclusive to the iPhone (far from it); its price tag is much higher than for other comparable, respectable brands and operating systems; worse than other systems, it has made highly objectionable editorial decisions over applications in its app store; and it has essentially become a brand for k**bheads with money to burn. It's not even comparable any more to buying designer clothes just for the sake of the label, because Windows and Android are the designer brands; spending extra on apple products is just obscene.



David Stubbs in the Guardian said:


> People in advertising think human beings evolve in one way: from the pitifully aspirational to the sickeningly smug. Take Apple's latest iPhone's latest ads. After these, I'd defy even those black polo-neck jumpered types who put down "Apple" as their religion on the census form not to take a long, sober look at themselves - and the little black thing they're never without - and reconsider. As someone bashes insouciantly away on a piano - or is it a piano app? - a voiceover extols the qualities of the iPhone, including the literature you can download (for those who find squinting at a handheld device a much better way of reading books than those cumbersome old paperbacks with their hard-to-turn pages), apps and music, all via iTunes. A finger glides across the screen scrolling from "Duffy" to a playlist entitled "Dinner Party", because, of course, that's the sort of person we all aspire to be. Then, the punchline: "If you don't have an iPhone, well … you don't have an iPhone." Note the way the "well" hangs there for just a second, for you to fill in yourself, mentally. With what? How about, "Well … you've probably got another phone that does all the things an iPhone does, and has a better camera, and actually functions better as an actual phone"? Wrong. More like, "If you don't have an iPhone, well … you're nothing. You are disconnected from the Matrix of Cool. You are a wretched, luddite, troglodyte, agrarian, socially irredeemable warty slug. You will never have a dinner party and you'll never listen to Duffy." But - hey! - if you do have an iPhone, then none of this applies. Well done.


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## regressivetransphobe (May 16, 2011)

Advertising has always been about making you feel inadequate and unsuccessful, because of course, if you buy their product, you'll be more socially accepted and are more likely to live a fulfilling life!  I'd like to say I find this campaign crass as you do, but I've always found advertisements this obvious and crass, if not even more sexist, classist, etc. 

Even Apple's most famous campaign ("hi, I'm a PC...") plays on a myriad of social fears, suggesting that Apple's product is for young, trendy people ready to take on life, and Microsoft is for over-the-hill, awkward dorks with a sterile job and a probably disastrous marriage.

The whole marketing game is a religion of fear and cheap plastic surrogates. An hour of TV feels like brainwashing to me.

That said, I'd chalk the "if you don't have an iPhone" slogan up to trying to level with gen Y's obsession with "irony" more than any extra mean-spiritedness. Heh, the TV machine took a blithe tone with me. Just like House M.D.


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## LordBlackudder (Nov 13, 2010)

all adverts are stupid with the exception of the weetabix ad with the talking dog.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

I have an iPhone, I love it, but I am becoming increasingly jealous of some of the Android's features with all of Google's services. However I think my next phone will again be an iPhone because the integration between iPhone, iTunes and OSX is superb and i've grown accustomed to Apple's polish, simplicity, and dependency, while Google's products I find have a kind of perpetual beta-quality feel to them.

Myself, I don't find these ads nearly as annoying as when every new Android phone or tablet is released and touts itself as the iProduct-killer with cheeky ads often making fun of Apple users. Apple's products are the benchmarks, Apple knows it, and they're flaunting it in these ads, which I understand could be off-putting to a lot of people.

I like Apple's innovations in products (at this point, they really just dictate to all the other hapless companies the entire direction of the industry), and Google's innovations in online services. Thankfully Google is being quite good at releasing their stuff on iOS. Microsoft on the other hand just seems like a directionless company constantly playing catchup and gasping for air. After the hell Microsoft put me through with the abysmal "f*** it it's good enough" releases of Office 2004 and 2008, I've sworn off their products completely unless forced to collaborate with them.

In these past few years Apple has gotten considerably more cult-ish, I'm almost scared to go into their stores now. They were the "cool" brand for many years, but I think it's starting to become increasingly "cool" to dislike Apple


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## Chris (Jun 1, 2010)

George Orwell described advertising as the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.


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## Aksel (Dec 3, 2010)

regressivetransphobe said:


> Even Apple's most famous campaign ("hi, I'm a PC...") plays on a myriad of social fears, suggesting that Apple's product is for young, trendy people ready to take on life, and Microsoft is for over-the-hill, awkward dorks with a sterile job and a probably disastrous marriage.


So if I like being an awkward dork and have a PC, then I'm in the clear, right? Good.

I do have an iPod, but I have it mostly because of iTunes. There is no record shop in my town (not anymore, at least), and it's just really convenient.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Go MP3 Players and PCs!


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## haydnfan (Apr 13, 2011)

I don't watch tv, just netflix, vudu, dvds and blu-rays. If you remember the commercials out of anger, well they backfired. The best result is if you only subconsciously remember them, and you then instinctively feel like buying the product when you're in the store.

I have not watched a commercial in months. I don't have cable, I have adblock installed on my browser, I don't use online services like hulu that make money off of unskippable ads, and also I arrive late at the theater to miss the commercials. You don't have to be like me, but do yourself a favor, hit fast forward on your dvr.


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## bassClef (Oct 29, 2006)

I hate the smugness of those ads.


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## Ravellian (Aug 17, 2009)

I hate all Apple ads. As you said, they just make fun of their competitors and make fun of people who don't have the product. (In fact, that stupid ad is playing right now as I'm typing this). The only way they could get away with this would be if they really were the best and everyone knew it.. but the competition in the industry is fierce. There is a serious viable alternative for every one of Apple's major products. I'm happy with my PC, I don't want an expensive Mac. My mom's happy with her Droid, she doesn't need an iPhone. The iPad is just dumb. etc.


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## Stasou (Apr 23, 2011)

I find the obviousness of the statement to be very funny. I mean, come on, of course if you don't have an iPhone, you don't have an iPhone. But that's true of anything that you don't have; what is the meaning or significance??


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Stasou said:


> I find the obviousness of the statement to be very funny. I mean, come on, of course if you don't have an iPhone, you don't have an iPhone. But that's true of anything that you don't have; what is the meaning or significance??


Are you seriously asking this? The meaning is in the implication that you're nothing if you don't have an iPhone. Read the end of the quote in post #6 above.


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## Argus (Oct 16, 2009)

Ravellian said:


> I hate all Apple ads. As you said, they just make fun of their competitors and make fun of people who don't have the product. (In fact, that stupid ad is playing right now as I'm typing this). The only way they could get away with this would be if they really were the best and everyone knew it.. but the competition in the industry is fierce. There is a serious viable alternative for every one of Apple's major products. I'm happy with my PC, I don't want an expensive Mac. My mom's happy with her Droid, she doesn't need an iPhone. The iPad is just dumb. etc.


I've been informed by lots of people that for home recording and live performance of electronic music that Apple is the way to go. I've never owned a Mac (or any Apple product) but they seem to be the leader in this aspect.

Evidence:










































Apple seems to be to electronic music what Gibson is to rock and roll or Steinway is to classical. Not necessarily the best but like the industry standard.

As for the advert, when I first heard that phrase I just laughed at how banal it was. I do think Apple is more about buying into a lifestyle for some people than the quality of the products, a bit like Rolex or Porsche or any number of luxury goods.

I like the kindle ad, though, just for the music:


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## Ravellian (Aug 17, 2009)

^ That is true. If I had a Mac it would be much easier for me to record myself.. I have to settle for crappy third-party mics and freeware right now.


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## Stasou (Apr 23, 2011)

Almaviva said:


> Are you seriously asking this? The meaning is in the implication that you're nothing if you don't have an iPhone. Read the end of the quote in post #6 above.


Yes, I understand the ad. But I still can't possibly take it seriously.


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## World Violist (May 31, 2007)

I saw one of these commercials last night. It was one of those commercials that had me put the heel of my palm against my forehead, say "What the hell?"...and then fire off a post to Facebook ridiculing the whole idea.

It's stupid. The people who don't have iPhones _know_ they don't have iPhones. And, to be perfectly honest, if I wanted one badly enough, I might've gotten one already. The commercials stating the already beyond blatantly obvious aren't doing anything except wasting airtime...and hey, power to them for that.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Sigh, so many Androids and Windowsies in denial...
Resistance is futile. _Just get an iPhone already..._


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## jurianbai (Nov 23, 2008)

been using Samsung galaxy for months in effecient way... that's why I hope there will be no shocking upgrade of this forum that will make it less comfort in tablet pc. Blackberry is also extremely popular ..... so popular that in Indonesia the goverment threatened the Canadian company if they did not include a porn censor software.....


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## bassClef (Oct 29, 2006)

I have a basic Sony Ericsson phone which does all I want - make and receive calls. I don't need my phone to be a computer or camera or GPS or music player or DVD player or book reader - I want it to be a phone.


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## haydnfan (Apr 13, 2011)

Couchie said:


> Sigh, so many Androids and Windowsies in denial...
> Resistance is futile. _Just get an iPhone already..._


I don't know if I'll ever get a smartphone of any variety. In the long run you pay a tremendous amount for a data plan, when you can just use your laptop connected to wifi. Even though I can see the value of a smartphone for certain people, I think that most smartphone owners are just yuppies with money to burn.


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## mmsbls (Mar 6, 2011)

To me all ads seem either humorous or some combination of stupid, annoying, boring, etc. A very few have significant information that is useful. My brother took a course in advertising and said that TV ads are targeted at the 6th grade level. I have a DVR and almost never watch TV in real time so I always fast forward past ads. I've actually never seen that iphone ad. 
The psychology of the ad may seem ridiculous, but I suspect that many people are quite susceptible to it. I just read about an ad in SuperYacht World (never heard of the magazine) that described a $150 million yacht as one where you will look down on almost any other yacht. Human nature makes people buy cars, houses, and other products that are more expensive than they need or necessarily even want.

I do have an iphone and enjoy it. My son just switched from another smart phone and said the iphone is much simpler, faster, and more intuitive to use than the other. I have downloaded only a few apps. There was a time when I thought I might never get a cell phone. Later I thought I would not get a smart phone. The internet features have turned out to be rather helpful on a number of occasions. Obviously I don't strictly need that capability, but overall it seems worth the expense for me.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Good for you all! Don't let Apple take over the electronic industry! Support the competition!


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

bassClef said:


> I have a basic Sony Ericsson phone which does all I want - make and receive calls. I don't need my phone to be a computer or camera or GPS or music player or DVD player or book reader - I want it to be a phone.


This is precisely WHY I love the smartphone, I can carry these 6 devices in a single device - even bought off contract, the iPhone or its android equivalents are drastically cheaper than owning all of these separate devices, and it fits in my pocket! True that they aren't a full computer replacement, but I find my laptop rarely leaves its desk these days. Having GPS and roaming internet has saved my *** a few times in unfamiliar cities, as well.


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