# Haircuts



## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Does anybody else hate and dread haircuts? Look at the unpleasantness:

- Hair washed at a temperature either hotter and colder than your preference
- Painful hair wash station that hurts your neck and the lady scratches your scalp too hard
- Itchy apron which is always too tight around the neck and doesn't stop hair from getting on your shoes
- Looking stupid when you hair is wet and half-cut
- Having to face a giant mirror while you look stupid with your hair wet and half-cut
- Stranger fondling your hair
- Inevitable smalltalk about what you're doing this weekend while stranger fondles hair
- Burning through the smalltalk and then awkward silence while stranger continues to fondle the hair
- Hair is cut far slower than is reasonable
- Lady left too much hair on the first try and needs to redo entire head very slowly
- End result is rarely what you wanted and uneven but you just want to get the hell out of there
- Hair is styled with too much awful smelling gel and looks weird and wet
- They try to get you to buy the awful smelling gel they just used
- You pay and are expected to tip them for the hell they just put you through
- You accidentally walk into the glass door on your way out


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## Aramis (Mar 1, 2009)

I suggest you find better barber. Did you try in Seville?


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

1. Skip the shampoo.

2. Go for the buzz cut.


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## lou (Sep 7, 2011)

I have absolutely no problem with them at all.


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## Festat (Oct 25, 2011)

You stop and say "please, you first" for your own reflection in the huge mirror they have right beside the glass door.

Done it so many times that I started cutting my hair myself.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

festat said:


> you stop and say "please, you first" for your own reflection in the huge mirror they have right beside the glass door.
> 
> Done it so many times that *i started cutting my hair myself.*


TAUTOLOGY ALERT!


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

The alternative: "I started cutting my own hair", contains an , ah, ambiguity-of-continuation.


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## Yoshi (Jul 15, 2009)

I've always hated it since I was a kid, not only because I wanted long hair and my parents wouldn't let me, but also because I can't stand anyone touching my hair.


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## Taneyev (Jan 19, 2009)

lou said:


> I have absolutely no problem with them at all.


Share. I use Match 3 (twice a week)


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

You must have amazingly high testosterone, lou.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

I need to get a haircut, but that involves other things I hate doing: using a phone, making appointments, and driving.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

Couchie said:


> I need to get a haircut, but that involves other things I hate doing: using a phone, making appointments, and driving.


What colour hair do you have under that helmet?


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## Fsharpmajor (Dec 14, 2008)

About once every three months I get my hair cut and my beard trimmed in a local Muslim joint where no questions are asked. They just do it. There's no need and no opportunity to make small talk.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Polednice said:


> What colour hair do you have under that helmet?


A gorgeous blonde, curly and free.


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## regressivetransphobe (May 16, 2011)

I have hair like porcupine quills, so it itches for a day. So yes.


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## Klavierspieler (Jul 16, 2011)

I do not like haircuts; however, I like them better than the unmanageable mess my hair turns into if I don't get it cut.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Klavierspieler said:


> I do not like haircuts; however, I like them better than the unmanageable mess my hair turns into if I don't get it cut.


I thought cats don't need to get haircuts?


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## mmsbls (Mar 6, 2011)

I have avoided almost everything in the OP by cutting my hair since I left college. The main requirement for cutting one's hair is that you don't care much how you look to others.


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## Weston (Jul 11, 2008)

- Gorgeous raven-haired native American lady greets you at the door and seems genuinely happy to see you.
- Gorgeous raven-haired native American lady gently massages your headache away while rinsing your hair.
- Gorgeous raven-haired native American lady runs her fingers lightly through your hair as she studies it to see what should be cut.
- Gorgeous raven-haired native American lady almost but not quite flirts while cutting hair and makes ambiguous innuendos.
- Gorgeous raven-haired native American lady hugs and gives a peck on the cheek as you head for the door.

Needless to say the gorgeous raven-haired native American lady gets good tips, and no I don't mind getting my hair cut.


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

Guess it depends on who cuts your hair, the lady who cuts mine likes to gossip about people I've never heard of and just generally chat about her life. Which is fine by me because its relaxing to just sit and nod while someone plays with your hair.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

I dread haircuts more than doctor visits. I'm glad I'm not alone.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

I don't mind it, now that I've been getting my hair cut by a family friend who is a hair stylist. I certainly don't like the time it takes up though, somehow I always feel like I have more important things to be doing.


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

aaargh I can't stand going to the hairdressers but I've found a formula that works.

I go to one where I don't need to get my hair washed. You queue and wait for your turn.
My hairdresser is a nice Thai woman and we have a little chat about learning English.
I say no to all product and gel.
We don't do tips in New Zealand.
The whole thing takes 20 minutes.

It costs $50 less than the proper hairdresser all my friends go to. When I say to other women of my age that I hate hairdressers they look at me as though I'm bats and start mumbling about "pampering" and "time for me". I explain that the extra they pay for this is equivalent to two opera DVDs and therefore a complete misuse of money.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

What a useless profession. I look different every month.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

You guys are not very extrovert, are you? (We know this already from the two polls we've had on the matter).
I love haircuts. The smalltalk is the best part.


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## presto (Jun 17, 2011)

Couchie said:


> Does anybody else hate and dread haircuts?


No, because Clare, who cuts my hair is a very attractive blond!


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

While I rarely cut my hair I do enjoy the haircuts very much...I always ask them to do what they feel will work with me...been bald three times and have had my hair to my waste a couple others...for the most part now i just have it a few inches long.


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## Aramis (Mar 1, 2009)

Good way to make visits in barbershop less boring is to take some crazy picture of composer you like, show it there and say: "I want you to make my hair this way".

Composers recommended for this purpose:

- Berlioz
- Paderewski
- Schubert
- Chopin
- von Weber 
- young Richard Strauss
- any composer wearing wig


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

I've been going to the same barber going on 13 years now ... she and two other gals have owned/operated this shop since 1974, and they have a solid regular customer base. A standard trim on the noggin and the #2 blade on my facial hair.


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## Shostakovichiana (Nov 7, 2011)

Haircuts? Don't even mention haircuts.. 
My mum has always succeeded in dragging me along to the same hairdresser as I've had since I was born. A serious two-times-a-year routine.. And with the same hairdo as I have had since I was 13, I've been walking around, thinking for myself: there is so much in life that's more important than hair.. (when I was 14, and a serious Beethoven-fan, I fancied I'd look more like Beethoven if I tried to resist the temptation of combing my hair, and instead tried to make it as wild and bushy as possible.. The result? Yes, I felt like a genius, but somehow, I dropped to the bottom of school's popularity scale.. however could that happen? :/
But the greatest irritation of them all must be the radio they insist on having (I feel I should complain about hairdresser-music, since this is a classical music forum in the first place, and not a beauty discussion salon..): "Relaxing" ballads and easy-listening commercial rock tunes; relaxing tunes from the 80s and 90s.. relaxing?? I can't sit still in that chair with someone fiddling with my hair and calmly "listen" to that music (it's almost worse trying to ignore it) But you're stuck- in the chair. You see your hair fall on the floor, and you know it's all over.. Well, that's my experience with hairdressers.


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## Jeremy Marchant (Mar 11, 2010)

Surprised noone has told the old joke:

"How would you like your hair cut, sir?"
"In silence."


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## LordBlackudder (Nov 13, 2010)

Just get the home shaver and do a short back and sides.

No need to wash before.

Im not going to pay money to sit on stained seats and than have someone wipe diseases over me.


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## Chi_townPhilly (Apr 21, 2007)

I don't view haircuts as something to dread as much as view them as a temporary (but admittedly needed) nuisance and inconvenience. So, I like Hilly's suggestions:


Hilltroll72 said:


> 1. Skip the shampoo.
> 
> 2. Go for the buzz cut.


*Krummhorn* goes for the #2 blade on his facial hair? I go for the #2 blade up top. As far as facial hair goes, I only have the 'stache. Everything else (including sideburns) gets shaved daily. You see, the 'stache hair is still blonde... but beard and sideburns would be a clashing extra-dark brown/black, if allowed to grow.


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## TrazomGangflow (Sep 9, 2011)

I hate haircuts too. The time it takes, the pain of getting one of those bad cuts. That's why I just take out my good old powdered wig.


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## myaskovsky2002 (Oct 3, 2010)

lou said:


> I have absolutely no problem with them at all.


The same haircut here.

Martin


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## itywltmt (May 29, 2011)

lou said:


> I have absolutely no problem with them at all.


Like Lou, I am follically challenged.

A haircut (actually, even a daily shampoo) takes no time at all!


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Couchie said:


> Does anybody else hate and dread haircuts? Look at the unpleasantness:


You sound like Wagner or Renee Fleming with all this whining, Couchie. Just let the lady cut your neck beard. She knows what she is doing. 

I do have to lodge a legitimate haircut complaint though. I discovered that the barber shop I've been going to for ~20 years has recently changed their price for a hair cut from $3.99 to $4.99.  I might have to let myself look like Dudamel given that high price.


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## ldiat (Jan 27, 2016)

Jeremy Marchant said:


> Surprised noone has told the old joke:
> 
> "How would you like your hair cut, sir?"
> "In silence."


or did you get you hair cut or did you get yours ears lowered?? and did you get a hair cut?? no i got them all cut:lol:


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## ldiat (Jan 27, 2016)

i am thinking of letting my hair grow to my "hippie" days. down to the middle of my back!


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

ldiat said:


> i am thinking of letting my hair grow to my "hippie" days. down to the middle of my back!


Any chance of you growing a mullet? :lol:


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## LezLee (Feb 21, 2014)

I’ve not been to a hairdresser since 1972 (same year I last went to a cinema). I’m perfectly happy to cut my own and I still use old-fashioned setting-lotion and rollers!


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Cutting my own hair sounds appealing, but I don't know how I would actually pull that off. I have enough trouble cutting the hair that grows out of my ears. How could I possibly cut hairs on the back of my head? 

I know the Flowbee is always an option, but I'm saying nay to that. A bowl cut is always an option too. What do the ladies of TC think about that?


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## ldiat (Jan 27, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Any chance of you growing a mullet? :lol:


NOOO i am not growing a mullet


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

ldiat said:


> NOOO i am not growing a mullet


Bummer. It works so well for Andre Rieu.


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## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

My wife Ellen Jane has been cutting my hair for 45 years; it's a very nice experience.


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

I've been shorthaired for at least a decade now - from the ages of c. 14-35 it was seldom anything but shoulder length but I started to get it cut more often from my mid-30s as maintaining long hair was becoming a drag, especially during the winter months where a few minutes in the wind and rain made me look like a vagrant, especially when I had a beard. Now I'm in my mid-50s so I have my hair cut very short two or three times a year so the longest it ever gets between cuts is just below collar length.


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## Capeditiea (Feb 23, 2018)

:O i haven't cut my hair for a few years... but i feel you couchie... due to the fact the last time i went was probably around the time you posted the first post... *nods somewhere around there... 
Turns out, i have been tragically scared of what they use in my hair which suddenly feels super tingly scalp. :O which then i could (mentally) envision these little demons clawwing their way into my scalp and eating my brain. then the kind lady, who wears a smile... politely asks me to sit in this chair, and i am concerned now, since she wields a spray bottle, a pair of scizzers and this thing that goes zzzzzzzziiiiiiiii endlessly then as it gathers hair it kinda has this clogged sounding thing. i end up wondering what they are doing since i am kinda blind with out my glasses, as soon as this happens, the kind lady decides to set down that demon that makes a frightenning noize, and sprays my hair... while the dreaded spray bottle, with an unknown liquid concoction in there... which proceeds to use the scizzers as i only asked for a trim. as i see about a pound of hair falling off... i internally freak out, suddenly i look into the mirror and my eyes are all black. probably thanks to a combination to the lighting my lack of vision, and demons running rampant inside my head. 

We finally finish, the kind lady asks if it is okay. At this time i am more concerned with leaving the hair salon of hell. :O


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

I haven't had a hair cut in 10 years or so. My wife shaves it off every 2 weeks. Tremendous time saving.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

My wife has cut my hair for quite a few years, using a comb, scissors, and a cheap rechargeable beard trimmer. She has become quite accomplished! Adding up the dollar savings, they are very significant.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

KenOC said:


> My wife has cut my hair for quite a few years, using a comb, scissors, and a cheap rechargeable beard trimmer. She has become quite accomplished! Adding up the dollar savings, they are very significant.


My inner cheapness sees the advantages of this, but sometimes I'd rather pay a barber a tip than receive several free tips from a wife.


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## chill782002 (Jan 12, 2017)

Not really an issue for me as I am almost completely bald. I just get what little remains shaved every couple of weeks, always at the same old school London barber. The banter is as good as the head shave. :lol:


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## Capeditiea (Feb 23, 2018)

if music could only cut my hair for me...


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Capeditiea said:


> if music could only cut my hair for me...


I normally wouldn't recommend opera, but try the _The Barber of Seville_. At least it's Rossini and not Wagner.  Also, some say that the music of Mahler causes male pattern baldness due to all the head scratching you'll be doing. Mahler is kind of like lice in that regard.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Capeditiea said:


> if music could only cut my hair for me...


No, Don't do it..................


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## Capeditiea (Feb 23, 2018)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> No, Don't do it..................


i am starting to look a lot like a mixture of Vivaldi and Bach... but my hair isn't a wig... :O


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Capeditiea said:


> i am starting to look a lot like a mixture of Vivaldi and Bach... but my hair isn't a wig... :O


So a bit like David Crosby -at least he can still sing


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## Kjetil Heggelund (Jan 4, 2016)

Still not enough hair!


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## Capeditiea (Feb 23, 2018)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> So a bit like David Crosby -at least he can still sing


...i have more hair... and my hair still has a kind strange brown that almost looks like my hair decided to slide around a dusty table which then decided to stain the hair, and there is no way of returning it to it's original colour... which was a normal light-dark brown. (it really was two toned... like the hair on the sides was kinda darker than the hair over everything... :O when i got wet it looked like some kind of beaver decided to fuse to my head and it's tail was all like "imma cover this part don't you worry neck."

but now... the beaver has fused with dust and i am not entirely sure what will come next...


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