# Experimenting With Dissonance - Please listen and critique



## SystematicSound (Apr 21, 2010)

I have just composed 2 pieces.

The first is a symphonic concerto titled "Something Terribly Wrong."

It starts off very upbeat and happy, but slowly transitions into atonality. Than back into happy again.

I am very anxious for avid listeners to give me their input.

The second work is a concerto called "An Angry Gypsy's Opus"

As the title implies, it has a very strong gypsy theme.

I would love to know how this is received as well...

Here are the links to each piece:

Something Terribly Wrong - www.systematicsound.com/stw.mp3

An Angry Gypsy's Opius - http://www.systematicsound.com/ag2.mp3

Thank you very much for taking the time to check these out. It means a lot.

SystematicSound


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## Aramis (Mar 1, 2009)

First piece sounds like soundtrack to some western-melodrama like Dr. Queen or Legends of the Fall.


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## MJTTOMB (Dec 16, 2007)

Neither one is a concerto, as far as I'm concerned. In terms of form and thematic development, neither work is a concerto. I'm also assuming you're probably not a pianist, but if you are you need to study some more about the mechanics of the instrument. It doesn't sound pianistic in the slightest. At times I can recognize themes, but the themes aren't really even developed, it seems as though you move from theme to theme as you please.

During the dissonant section, how did you choose your notes? Was it random or was it in some way systematic? What system did you use to choose notes?

Generally speaking, in a modern concerto, the orchestra presents the full theme for a good three minutes before the soloist even enters so that the theme is well-developed.

Melody in the second piece was scarcely recognizable. Interesting use of colors, but not at all consistent with your program of gypsy music. One would expect gypsy music to have a relatively strong, syncopated, often sultry rhythm, which is lacking in this piece. When it is rhythmic at all, it lacks syncopation and accents.

Overall decent pieces, some credit is deserved for the attempt, but they didn't capture me at all.

Your piano parts lack any musical value. I mean that in the nicest way, but as of now there is no beauty in your piano parts, it's simply a seemingly random virtuosic flurry of notes with no purpose other than to go extremely fast.


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## SystematicSound (Apr 21, 2010)

MJTTOMB,

I certainly appreciate the honesty. Its a hard thing to find when looking for an honest critique from strangers or friends.

I think the main reason that I move from theme to theme as I please (Gypsy) is because it is meant to be frantic and disjointed. Sad, and confused. The same is true for the dissonant section of "Something Terribly Wrong"

Can you be more specific regarding why I don't sound like a pianist? I am interested in what makes something sound pianistic. What can I do to improve?

You had mentioned that there is no beauty in the piano parts. In a way I take that as a compliment. The reason is because in my experiments with atonality (and in both songs posted) - my goal is to make the listener uncomfortable (much in the same way a horror movie is meant to scare the viewer and cause tension).

I would feel like a failure if you had found beauty, when the goal is to be "ugly" and "dark."

I see your profile picture is of Scriabin...Sonatas 6 and 7 happen to be my favorite of his works. Im sure you can see why.

Also, I read that you are also a composer. I would love to hear some of your work.

Looking forward to your response. I love tough and educated critiques. They only serve to make me better.


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## MJTTOMB (Dec 16, 2007)

SystematicSound said:


> MJTTOMB,
> 
> I certainly appreciate the honesty. Its a hard thing to find when looking for an honest critique from strangers or friends.
> 
> ...


Absolutely, I'm glad you take it well. Having listened to Scriabin's late sonatas, surely you've heard music that maintains beauty while sounding disjointed. His music is written poetically, and while it is very technically involved, it never loses sight of the melody.

I find beauty in ugliness in music as well, I feel you could have used fewer scales and extremely fast passages and focused more on developing a melody, using scales to be used only as ornamentation and for effect.


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## SystematicSound (Apr 21, 2010)

hmm... I see what you mean. Thank you. 

I suppose I was working too much within the scale and not working enough on the theme based on that scale. 

Unfortunately, the book is closed on those 2 recordings, so i will try to focus on this when I start writing my next composition. 

Is it true that you also compose? Id love to hear some of your work...

SS


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## MJTTOMB (Dec 16, 2007)

I've made a few posts here, i made threads, links to 2 waltzes, 2 fugues i thing, maybe a couple etudes. reverbnation.com/mjttomb is where i host most of my recordings.


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## teknoaxe (Apr 17, 2010)

As a technical note to this piece, I'm not sure, because my laptop tends to add some really strange reverb to everything that comes out of it, but it sounds almost as if the entire ensemble is mixed into the center. I think one of the things you can do is start to pan out different instruments to "where they are supposed to go" normally in a pit.

Also, sometimes midi cannot mimic what people can do in terms of speed, and I find it difficult to try it without sacrificing the suspension of disbelief.

Other than that, I thought it was a good piece.


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