# Wagner: Parsifal, my first experience, thoughts and my last thread.



## JamieHoldham (May 13, 2016)

The only thing worth being on my bucket list before I die is to hear Parsifal in full, my favorite composer and the greatest of epic German Operas.

Tonight I will watch it for the first time in roughly a hour from now. I will treasure this experience very well, just hearing the Prelude is enough to bring my soul to what seems like a higher - otherwordly dimension.

Also this will be not my last post, but last created thread, I will post the results as to my experience of this Opera once it is over - but that is it. I've accepted my fate.


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Jamie, I'm sitting here crying at the thought of the pain that you must be going through! In the messages that I've been sending you, I've tried to do everything I can to stop you from what you describe as your "fate." I've begged you to get professional help for the self-destructive thoughts that you're having. If only there were more that I could do - but I don't even know any of your contact information, and I'm a continent away from you (I live in the US, and I'm assuming that you live in the UK based on your references to the job centre?) 

I don't know what to say to help you through this crisis in your life! Please seek emergency help from a professional - or, at the very least, please add hundreds of operas to your bucket list! There is so much wonderful music waiting to be discovered, and (I have no doubt) wonderful surprises that will be awaiting you in the future.


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## JamieHoldham (May 13, 2016)

I appreciate every thing you have said Bettina but it's best to discuss personal matters in personal messages (PMs). I know I brought it up but I don't want this thread to get taken down :/


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

I know that you wanted this thread to focus on Parsifal rather than on your personal struggles, and perhaps I should save my discussion of the latter for private messages. I'm sorry if my post went too far beyond the TC terms of service. (Mods, I understand if you'd like to delete/edit my response.)


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## JamieHoldham (May 13, 2016)

Bettina said:


> I know that you wanted this thread to focus on Parsifal rather than on your personal struggles, and perhaps I should save my discussion of the latter for private messages. I'm sorry if my post went too far beyond the TC terms of service. (Mods, I understand if you'd like to delete/edit my response.)


I am unsure if certain information can cause posts / threads to be taken down so thats only why I have some concern. No worries though, you mean well and I don't - not appreciate what you say


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

JamieHoldham said:


> I am unsure if certain information can cause posts / threads to be taken down so thats only why I have some concern. No worries though, you mean well and I don't - not appreciate what you say


I'm sure that the mods won't take down the thread because of my post. They might delete my response, but I'm certain that they wouldn't delete your original post. I definitely agree with you that it's important for this thread to stay up, so you have a place to share your feelings about Parsifal. Writing about music can be a powerful emotional outlet! Also, I (along with many others on TC) always look forward to your opera reviews. I've been rereading your excellent discussions of The Ring and Tristan and I am eager to hear your take on Parsifal!


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## JamieHoldham (May 13, 2016)

Bettina said:


> I'm sure that the mods won't take down the thread because of my post. They might delete my response, but I'm certain that they wouldn't delete your original post. I definitely agree with you that it's important for this thread to stay up, so you have a place to share your feelings about Parsifal. Writing about music can be a powerful emotional outlet! Also, I (along with many others on TC) always look forward to your opera reviews. I've been rereading your excellent discussions of The Ring and Tristan and I am eager to hear your take on Parsifal!


Thank you so much, I have just now begun to watch Parsifal - this Prelude being so powerful and otherwordly.. sometimes Wagner is too much for me to handle. Too powerful. But I will push on, finish this amazing Opera and let other people know how my experience went for the first time.


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## JamieHoldham (May 13, 2016)

Finished the first 2 acts, but my body is aching and I need to rest badly. Will recuperate then finish the last act tommorow, and update this thread with my thoughts on the entire Opera.


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

JamieHoldham said:


> Finished the first 2 acts, but my body is aching and I need to rest badly. Will recuperate then finish the last act tommorow, and update this thread with my thoughts on the entire Opera.


Watching Parsifal certainly can be exhausting - and exhilarating! Yes, it is good to take breaks in between acts, to relax and absorb everything that happened. Please do take your time and take care of yourself! I look forward to reading about your experience with Parsifal when you've had a chance to finish watching it.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

JamieHoldham said:


> The only thing worth being on my bucket list before I die is to hear Parsifal in full, my favorite composer and the greatest of epic German Operas.
> 
> Tonight I will watch it for the first time in roughly a hour from now. I will treasure this experience very well, just hearing the Prelude is enough to bring my soul to what seems like a higher - otherwordly dimension.
> 
> Also this will be not my last post, but last created thread, I will post the results as to my experience of this Opera once it is over - but that is it. I've accepted my fate.


You know where we are, if you let us.


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## JamieHoldham (May 13, 2016)

*Parsifal*

Just finished my final Opera, and I will try and put my experience into words and describe the Opera as a whole at the same time, rather than splitting this into sections as I have done before.

First it begins with that Prelude... magical, otherwordly and celestial - it brings out the religious zeal of the entire Opera in a average length 10+ miniute orchesteral introduction, as well as introducing some important motifs that are repeated several times throughout the Opera. My favourite part of the entire Opera as with most of Wagner's, he is a greater composer before writer.

And as that Prelude ends and the Opera begins, I am almost immediantly in tears from the ending to the Prelude, as well as the guardians of the wood and Gurnemanz pray, while excerps from the Prelude are modified and played as pure unbridled and beautiful harmony.

The Opera as a whole expresses a sort of finality in the way some of the motifs and compositional ideas and themes are composed. This is difficult to explain and has to be felt rather than to be able to describe it, but as a composer myself wrestling with death the past 7-8 years atleast - the feeling is no stranger to me and it reflects itself in the sketches of my works too.

As far as complaints.. the only thing about this Opera is the repetitiveness, motifs are repeated more often in this Opera than I think any other that Wagner has composed, or atleast it feels like it. And certain scences dragged out slightly longer than perhaps they needed to, otherwise I am quite happy with the overall experience of this Opera. The storyline is again one of redemption, this time from sin.

I won't go into detail as to the storyline itself, as it's rather self explanatory if you watch the Opera yourself, or read the libretto yourself. I just want to say this Opera is magnificent in every way, yet slightly more repetitive than Wagner usually is. My only minor complaint, not that I mind much since the music that get recycled is so beautiful I could hear it a million times and still be in awe.

Sorry I don't have anything else to say.. need to stop crying from the absolute beauty and serenity of the Prelude from this Opera which I have listened to several times the past hours.

Thats it, ready to pass on from this world. Would love to compose and reach my full potential but I would never get hired anyway to reach that peak.


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

This is a beautiful review. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts with the TC community. I love the way that you describe the transition between the prelude and the first act - it certainly is a magical moment!

I'm glad to hear that you would love to continue composing. Please hang onto that dream and try to pursue it. I always look forward to seeing and hearing the recordings/scores that you post here on TC. Even if you're not being paid to compose, it is still worth doing. Many composers never got paid much for their works, such as Mozart and Schubert. Actually, Wagner himself didn't make money from his works until he was middle-aged. Artistic creation is a joy in itself, whether or not anyone officially hires you to do it.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Thank you for the review of Parsifal. I recently saw a DVD of it for the first time and loved it. Siegfried Jerusalem was Parsifal. But there are 100s more wonderful operas to put on your bucket list. We would love to give you more to watch. Try Vinci's Partenope. I just watched it and loved it.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Tannhäuser would be a challenge too.


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Pugg said:


> Tannhäuser would be a challenge too.


Good suggestion. Meistersinger would be a good one also; Wagner's comic side is quite different from his other works and it's definitely an experience worth having!


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Bettina said:


> Good suggestion. Meistersinger would be a good one also; Wagner's comic side is quite different from his other works and it's definitely an experience worth having!


I thought of that too but after Parsifal I thought...... one a bit shorter this time.


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## JamieHoldham (May 13, 2016)

Just one last thing that might be of use to some people, since before I prepared myself to watch Parsifal I started putting together a score of the Prelude on a free notation programme called MuseScore, you can find the unfinished score here:

https://musescore.com/user/5199981/scores/3980966

It is extremely precise and detailed as much as is possible to the published score, with only a few minor defects owing to the programme I am using being free and technically limited.

I enjoyed putting this score together, it really gets you into the compositional process and mind of Wagner himself if you understand music to a certain degree.


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

JamieHoldham said:


> Just one last thing that might be of use to some people, since before I prepared myself to watch Parsifal I started putting together a score of the Prelude on a free notation programme called MuseScore, you can find the unfinished score here:
> 
> https://musescore.com/user/5199981/scores/3980966
> 
> ...


Thanks for sharing this! This is beautifully laid out and put together.

Copying out scores is a nice idea - it's a great way for you to develop your own compositional skills to a higher level. Many composers have done this in order to study the music of their predecessors. Beethoven copied some of Mozart's scores into his own sketchbook, as a way of helping himself absorb the musical techniques that Mozart used.

I know that you and I share an interest in musical manuscripts, so you might be interested in seeing Beethoven's manuscript copy of Mozart's String Quartet in G Major: 
http://www.beethoven-haus-bonn.de/s...digitales_archiv_en&_dokid=ha:wm99&_seite=1-2


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