# Don't Ask Me Why: Chapter 8



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Tanya and Marie met up that Friday night for dinner. It was a favorite little diner in the college city area, common among the young people. They found a nice little corner in the room where they talked about their week.

"Ugh! It was a horrid week!" Tanya first began complaining. "I have two papers due next week, both of them over 15 pages, and all I spent my time doing this week was research! Too much research for these papers, it's not fair."

"What are they about?" Marie asked sympathetically.

"One is just Choral Conducting history, the other is analysis of a Choral work, I'm doing Poulenc's Gloria. I learned some fascinating stuff though, did you know in Russia there was this one composer who was also a choral conductor? I went and listened up to his music, and it's wonderful! I wish there was some way to combine study of him and what I'm doing, but oh well. He was a sad life..." suddenly Tanya trailed off, rather thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh... he must have had anxiety issues, maybe other mental disorders, no one knows for sure. He died young as a raving tuberculosis victim."

"How awful! That's as bad as Mussorgsky!"

"You know Mussorgsky?"

"I know a thing or two about most famous composers..."

"Ah. Well anyway, enough on me, what about your week?"

"I'm preparing some neat programs right now. There's going to be a Concerto Competition in November? I wish I knew about this last year, it must only be a Fall thing."

"Yes! It's amazing to watch them! I saw them last year, an outstanding pianist got 1st place. I think they will perform his concerto soon, shall well? This October? We should go together to the final round though!"

"Definitely! I..." the word suddenly got caught in Marie's mouth.

"Yes?" Tanya bent her head the side.

"Do you think anyone besides pianists wins? What about... string players, maybe grad students?"

"Oh it happens, once in a while 1st place, usually 2nd or 3rd. It's always an honor to get up in the top 3 though, no matter what the reward is."

"I see..." Marie felt embarrassed to talk any more about it, so she stopped asking questions.

They were about finished with their meal, but Tanya seemed on the verge of saying something else, fidgeting slightly.

"You know..." suddenly Tanya said something, and suddenly did a nervous laugh. "I was working with Ernest today and... he asked something about you."

Marie's eyes went wide instantly.

"What?"

"Just how you were. I didn't really have much to say, since we've been apart. I wonder why he brought you up though," Tanya's eyes looked sinisterly gleeful.

"I know..." Marie put a hand to her forehead. "I think he likes me, but he hasn't said anything yet."

"Ah," Tanya grinned. "Well now he has... what do you say?"

"No."

Tanya frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I don't like him, I don't even know him. He couldn't possibly know me well enough to make up his mind like that so quickly. That makes him seem kinda... shallow, you know?"

"But who knows... you may change."

"No... no no no!" Marie said frustratedly. "I won't. You ought to tell him that."

"What? Why not you?"

"I can't let myself be seen with him!"

"Seen? By who?"

Marie bit her tongue.

"Never mind."

"Ah," Tanya bent over the table with her hands folded under her chin. "You may hide something then, you've a right to it. I will keep my secrets too then."

"You have something to hide?" Marie was confused.

"Maybe..." Tanya suddenly smiled, but went instantly grave. She stood up quickly.

"I will bring you home. I need to see Marcus tonight..."

"How's it been with him? Have you... made up?" Marie asked nervously.

"There's nothing to make up anymore... but that's the problem..." Tanya's train of thought drifted again.

Tanya drove Marie back to her apartment, and went back to her own. Thoughts whirled about in her head until it ached.

"Why am I thinking this way? How could I be... jealous?? Marie is so kind, she wouldn't hurt a fly! Why am I happy she doesn't like Ernest? No, you know why, silly... what an idiot I am... maybe Marcus will calm me down... if I beg again."

Tanya entered the apartment to find Marcus in his study again. She stepped inside.

"Marcus... please... come to bed with me tonight," suddenly she found herself saying.

Marcus put down his pencil.

"I wish I could, but I've had another great surge of inspiration. Please forgive me, Tanya, but I can't control it. I know I will lose it if I don't write it down as soon as possible..."

Tanya frowned. "What's it sounding like? Can I see?"

"No!" he suddenly turned on her, eyes flashing. "It's not finished."

"What's there to hide from me?"

"Just... be patient... I've begun a great song cycle you know, Three Pushkin poems, the Wish is the last one. It's been a great struggle... yes..."

"Will you come tonight though, and not sleep here in the living room?"

"I'll see."

Tanya turned from the room, silently enraged. She could only hide her anger by her calm tone of voice for so long. She went immediately to her bedroom, and fumed silently for a bit longer. She didn't feel like doing homework. Instead, she went to her computer. Instinctively she went to the school's website calendar to see when the next concerts would be.

"Choral concert in 2 weeks... same week as lab orchestra session... orchestra concert again... concerto competition a month from now... no conducting students... and nothing written up for next semester?? ugh...!" she closed down the screen, and opened up another. But there was literally nothing to do, so she just stared at the blank tab for a bit.

"What am I going to do?" she thought desperately, and sank her face into her hands. "Why is this happening to me...?"

Tanya got ready to go to bed early, and started reading a book for school. It was 11PM when she turned out the light, and turned over miserably to go to sleep.



But it was sometime in the night however, when Marcus woke her up. He was laying on her, covering her with kisses.

Tanya turned to him, and couldn't help tearing up as she kissed him back.

Marcus could make her forget everything.

Perhaps all would be well after all.


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