# How irkable are you?



## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

I get the feeling that some members of this forum easily take offense at just about any view different from theirs. Others seem more staid and unexcitable. How do you rate yourself? Anonymous poll, of course, so no fibbing!


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2014)

KenOC said:


> I get the feeling that some members of this forum easily take offense at just about any view different from theirs.


"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?? You talkin' to me???"


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## brotagonist (Jul 11, 2013)

I all depends on the situation, the other person and my own mood on the day, but generally I am easy-going and don't hold grudges... although I do have a long memory  so you'd better think about the kind of lasting impression you want to make


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

My reply algorithm goes in this order:

1) I seriously consider the opinion offered

2) I get really steamed and make an angry reply


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## mirepoix (Feb 1, 2014)

I don't believe it's worth being irked by someone on the Internet, simply because their view differs from my own. However that works the other way too, so that if someone agrees with me (or makes a positive or complimentary statement about me or regarding something I've done) it doesn't have a great impact either.
Life is too short to allow relatively trivial matters to negatively change how you feel, even in the short term. Also -



brotagonist said:


> although I do have a long memory  so you'd better think about the kind of lasting impression you want to make


Indeed. First impressions and all that.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Hey, man, whatever...:lol:


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

I don't mind a jot someone thinking differently from me. Isn't that what a Discussion Board is about?

However, if the reply is couched in a patronising or smart-aleck way or in taunting mode, then that does bother me. I feel upset & hurt, and occasionally angry. I hardly ever post a reply that betrays these feelings. But on a couple of occasions a poster has seemed to 'target' me, and I haven't been able to 'let it go'.


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## Badinerie (May 3, 2008)

Life is moderated conflict, anyway if everyone thought like me the world would be a very silly place indeed!


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## david johnson (Jun 25, 2007)

I consider the source. If they don't agree w/me, they are obviously dumb as a box of hammers!


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

I would love to engage in a 'Hey, man, whatever', but


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## arpeggio (Oct 4, 2012)

*It depends*

It depends on the situation.


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

There have been a few situations on here that have brought about a slow burn in me, usually concerning attitude, but I suppose that's no different to life in general. Plus - apart from one very brief altercation - they didn't involve me, so I wasn't going to stick my oar in. 

If anyone on here felt the need to target me for any reason I like to think I'd seethe in silence and stay my hand rather than go off on one and risk losing (self)respect and getting banned into the bargain. Thankfully, the situation hasn't arisen in the few years I've posted on here and I'm hoping it never will - life's too short.


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

I have written and deleted numerous angry replies before posting. A good way to let off steam.

Of course, everybody is entitled to their own opinion, but the way they are stated by some really frustrates me from time to time.


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## Figleaf (Jun 10, 2014)

I quite like the cut and thrust of a good debate and find it quite funny (usually) when people disagree with me. It's better than being ignored! I do worry, since this is a very polite forum, that I may have offended other people. I have noticed a combative tone in some posts which may have a chilling effect on the discussion, since many members hate being 'flamed'. I hope I haven't been part of the problem. Slight digression: I've always found the online world a curiously civil place, in contrast with MSM hysteria about internet trolls, whereas the 'real world' is full of aggressive drivers, dangerous dogs, sexist heckling, etc etc. If only the folks in my geographical environment could be as polite and considerate as YouTube commenters! (It's too much to ask that they should be as scrupulously nice as on TC!)

I used to get super-irked by stuff in books, on the radio etc, and sometimes still do. I think that's because there's no right of reply: the author has a platform and I don't, so there was no way of publicly registering disagreement or correcting misinformation. The internet has fixed that doubly: now we all have a platform and the reading public is hopefully learning to carry its newfound habit of reading sceptically into the sphere of printed media, instead of regarding anything published in the traditional fashion as gospel. We are truly living in a golden age of free speech and I hope the politicians are not about to ruin it imminently


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

For those who take their musical choices very personally, I can see them getting upset from contrary opinions.
The idea is not to get baited into a fight. Otherwise, one may be "cooling off" for a month.

Restraint is an admirable quality.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

On this forum, I tend to be a "whatever." Though on this side of the computer I may be blowing steam out of my ears, there's a hope that maybe I can learn something from a different perspective. If not, maybe at least I can get more practice in bearing with people who don't think like me.


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

My opinions are well armored. Those examples of ignorant or defective thinking/knowledge only enhance my opinion of myself. Fortunately for the perpetrators of those errors, I take pity on them; well, usually.


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## arpeggio (Oct 4, 2012)

*It Depends Clarification*



arpeggio said:


> It depends on the situation.


An example of an issue that causes an "I get really steamed and make an angry reply".

A person makes what they consider a definitive observation that runs contrary to my experiences. For example, classical music is dying.


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## GreenMamba (Oct 14, 2012)

I struggle to suffer fools gladly, if that's what you mean.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

I suffer fools gladly - being blood relatives.


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

It is fairly infrequent that I get irked by a post, more usually it's by an attitude rather than a single opinion. I value self-restraint (in action - on an internet forum, that is, communication, and not, particularly, self-restraint in thought, feeling or imagination) so I often then turn my attention away, which usually lets me think about why the other person might be taking their position. 

But if I can't manage that I sometimes respond with a facetious remark - which I can sometimes later regret.


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## satoru (May 29, 2014)

Sorry but OED doesn't have an entry for "irkable", hence my vote on the "Uh..." (and looks like I'm the single person who voted for). 

Honestly speaking, I can get easily irked (and deeply disturbed) by my own kids saying something like "You listen to music made by dead people. We don't", but anything else, I can take them as different views/opinions that are in essence, my chance to expand my understanding/experience of music. If someone says she/he doesn't like my favorite pianist, I try to see which aspect of the performance causes such response. For the opposite situation, I try to see which characteristic of the performance is treasured by them. Through these, I think I start to understand differences in styles better.


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## JACE (Jul 18, 2014)

I've never had any inclination to be an evangelist for the music that I love. And that's probably a good thing, since practically NO ONE in my daily life -- outside of my immediate family -- has any interest in it! 

That's one of the great things about hanging out in a forum like this one. People here can be passionate about composers or performers or recordings -- and _others actually know what you're talking about!_ 

From my point of view, the occasional disagreements are a minor thing. I just ignore them. There are plenty of good vibes elsewhere on the board.


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## ProudSquire (Nov 30, 2011)

I don't really get bothered that often because I like to meditate on the matter/opinion/issue or whatever the case may be, as the moon rays Interpermeate my physical state, to pilfer the words of a certain artist.

I voted for:
_I seriously consider the opinion offered._

:tiphat:


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

I'm usually pretty even-keeled, but what I do get irksome about is performance interpretation. This usually has to do with flute playing, but performance in general. This isn't the same as music criticism itself. I wouldn't consider myself that opinionated (in fact I'm rather indecisive about interpretation) but I DO know what I don't like and I have to consciously watch my mouth at those times. Yeah, this isn't stuff I talk about on TalkClassical, after all, no one else here is a flutist like me.


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

satoru said:


> Sorry but OED doesn't have an entry for "irkable", hence my vote on the "Uh..." (and looks like I'm the single person who voted for).
> 
> Honestly speaking, I can get easily irked (and deeply disturbed) by my own kids saying something like "You listen to music made by dead people. We don't", but anything else, I can take them as different views/opinions that are in essence, my chance to expand my understanding/experience of music. If someone says she/he doesn't like my favorite pianist, I try to see which aspect of the performance causes such response. For the opposite situation, I try to see which characteristic of the performance is treasured by them. Through these, I think I start to understand differences in styles better.


Your kids must be... confused. Dead people don't make music.

[Considerable restraint in play there]


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## satoru (May 29, 2014)

Ukko said:


> Your kids must be... confused. Dead people don't make music.
> 
> [Considerable restraint in play there]


Thanks for a suggestion on a line to counter them on next occasion. I really need an input like this, as my English is not as good at theirs.


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

satoru said:


> Thanks for a suggestion on a line to counter them on next occasion. I really need an input like this, as my English is not as good at theirs.


Respond in the language you grew up using, with an appropriate tone and expression. Then point out in English that death puts a significant hit on creativity, but your guys weren't always dead.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

How do you react to contrary opinions?
Reply calmly or in accusatory fashion, with baseball/cricket bat in-hand.


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## senza sordino (Oct 20, 2013)

How can I get irked by someone's opinion on the Internet? My health and worry free stress free life is more important than some post online. I have really mellowed out as I got older.


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## Blake (Nov 6, 2013)

I think I've played every part in that list at some point. I do feel like an utter fool when I allow my buttons to be pushed easily, but it surfaces areas of myself that need a little tweaking... 

So, in a way, I'm thankful that people have aggravated the crap out of me.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

I get irritated, but it really depends on the topic. There are many areas where I am not knowledgable and so contrary opinions can serve to broaden my understanding by seeing more sides to an issue. In religious matters I am intollerent of contrary doctrines. But in any case, hearing the other side or another side cannot hurt as it may help your understanding, especially of the other person's position. It is more useful to know why someone holds the position they do than to simply write them off as wrong, which may be the case anyway. In many cases we find the issue is far more complex than we wanted it to be. Human nature seems to gravitate towards making all issues black and white and then taking a side and closing off further understanding.


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

hpowders said:


> ...
> 
> *Restraint* is an admirable quality.


Yep, its like hitting the brakes, but problem is sometimes its easy to forget. Then no suprises what happens next!



JACE said:


> ...People here can be *passionate* about composers or performers or recordings ...


Yes its about the passion, and that can be good. I find that discussions of music can be like those on politics. If a person is interested in these things, invariably they will have a slant or angle (in other words an overall way of seeing topics related to it). It will colour what we say about music, things we focus on (and things we omit), things we think are important and so on. Its about what we value.

So when opening up a controversial topic here, or contributing to one, it can lead to a clash of these different values. No big deal, but at one point a line has to be drawn in the sand, and online that's harder even than in real life. So I think _is it worth getting into in the first place_? _Is it worth the effort_? These days, with a lot else on my mind, the answer mostly is no.


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

I have no problem at all with an opposing point of view _per se_, but I DO get irked by comments that appear ill-informed or bigotted or by by the way that opinions are sometimes formulated


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

Not generally, but a couple things that really irk me are:

1. Selfishness

2. Greed

3. People sitting in the bus seat that I usually sit on. 

I'm a man of habit and don't like that to be disturbed lol


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## Posie (Aug 18, 2013)

I don't feel a strong need to reply if the comment is obviously stupid, with a few exceptions.


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## SiegendesLicht (Mar 4, 2012)

Ususally I don't mind contrary opinions or even welcome them as a chance to learn something new - unless it is something particularly dear to me that is attacked in a prejudiced or ignorant way. Then I pull out the light saber and go to war.


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