# How many Cows do you own?



## Klavierspieler (Jul 16, 2011)

Well?!? Come on, tell us!


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## Comet (Feb 7, 2012)

I have many partial pieces of cow in my three chest freezers.


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

I divorced one once ... does that count? :lol:


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Hm let's see. Probably a 1/3 or so of my body mass came from eating beef and drinking milk (though milk might not count?). Plus my 12 pairs of leather boots, my cow hide carpet, cow bone dresser, and hat. I think it amounts to something over 1 cow.



Sike, that was all fake.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

Aramis is tagged in this thread, I see. I never tag threads, but I just noticed that you did this. Couchie too. Well, I don't know about you, but I prefer free ranging Bison.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

Huilunsoittaja said:


> Sike, that was all fake.


Yes, it would seem to me that your calculations were fundamentally flawed, but I must consult Dodecaplex for confirmation.


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## Dodecaplex (Oct 14, 2011)

I own this many:









Kudos to the one who can solve this beautiful problem. 

Hint: The answer _is_ included in the poll choices.


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## Fsharpmajor (Dec 14, 2008)

Theoretically I own three cows, as a result of staring down a bull in a footpath in a meadow near Oxford. The ruminants weren't supposed to be there (a fence was broken down, or something). The bull was protecting his cows.

I let him keep them, though. I suppose I could have told him about Burger King while he was levelling his horns at me, but I decided not to. It's very weird and interesting to make eye contact with a large, dangerous animal like that, and in so doing, to get it to trust you.


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## Kopachris (May 31, 2010)

Dodecaplex said:


> I own this many:
> 
> View attachment 3075
> 
> ...


Imma go with three.


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## Dodecaplex (Oct 14, 2011)

Kopachris said:


> Imma go with three.


Good job. You win 3 internets.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

Bovines are fine, but I'll choose the feral marsupial.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

clavichorder said:


> Yes, it would seem to me that your calculations were fundamentally flawed, but I must consult Dodecaplex for confirmation.


Oh yeah, I forgot my 62 leather purses. A rainbow of dyed leathers too.

:tiphat:


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

Fsharpmajor said:


> Theoretically I own three cows, as a result of staring down a bull in a footpath in a meadow near Oxford...It's very weird and interesting to make eye contact with a large, dangerous animal like that, and in so doing, to get it to trust you.


Maybe you should have done what our own "Mick Dundee" did? :lol:

As for me, going on this Aussie theme, I chose the wombats option...


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

I have 33 of the bovine beauties but I don't actually own them, they roam free. I see them every morning & evening & give them a quick burst of Verdi or whatever it is I'm listening to at the time.

These cows are their heroes.

And this is an episode from one of their favourite programmes. The innocence, I'm sure references to eating poppies wouldn't be permitted on TV today.


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

I have all the cows and none of the milk.


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

Milhaud says there is an ox up on the roof.


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## Chris (Jun 1, 2010)

Do we include sacred cows?


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

I own zero cows but by now it's probably safe to say I've consumed over 25 of them; maybe more, although I hope not. Cow is a noble creature and tastes delightful.


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

Chris said:


> Do we include sacred cows?





Krummhorn said:


> I divorced one once ...


She thought she was "sacred" ... that's why I got rid of her 9 years ago .


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

I suppose elephants don't count--or ostriches??


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## Fsharpmajor (Dec 14, 2008)

Sid James said:


> Maybe you should have done what our own "Mick Dundee" did? :lol:


That's not really all that far from what I actually did. I'm now known in my family as the "bull whisperer."


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## Jupiter (Aug 1, 2011)

Well, I once went on holiday for a couple of weeks. When I returned home I discovered a cow in my laundry. My ex brother-in-law, who often fell foul of the police, had "hidden" the stolen calf next to my washing machine. So I guess I qualify for 1 cow, however ephemeral my involvement.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

I have 400-500 cattle.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Couchie said:


> I have 400-500 cattle.


I don't know the exact number because it's slaughter season. One time my son, Sinclair, fell into the meat grinder at the slaughterhouse. Sad. I didn't want to waste the batch though. Probably became somebody's burger in the end.


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## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

How has this important poll lingered in neglect for more than a year?

Arise fair poll, bask in the sunlight once again! 

:cheers:


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

I have not cows. In my homeland we have yaks. Many fine yaks indeed we have. If you will to invest in my homeland, you will be rewarded with many yaks who have babies well. If you cannot have yaks, we also may give to you throat-singing lessons from famous people at that.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

as many as all my wives dowries have brought me....


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## ProudSquire (Nov 30, 2011)

I've milked a few cows in my youth, but was never the proud owner of one.


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## deggial (Jan 20, 2013)

_I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride..._


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

Somewhere between _i_ and one googol.


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## Kleinzeit (May 15, 2013)

"A WELL-PLACED barb can affect an artist's reputation forever, even when credit for the insult is uncertain. Philip Heseltine, an English critic who composed under the name Peter Warlock, is said to have likened "A Pastoral Symphony" (Symphony No. 3) by his countryman, Ralph Vaughan Williams, to a cow staring over a fence.

Google Vaughan Williams and that epithet, and you will also find it attributed to Constant Lambert, a composer acquainted with both men. The bovine imagery appears in other variations: Aaron Copland is supposed to have said that listening to Vaughan Williams's Symphony No. 5 was like staring at a cow for 45 minutes. Elisabeth Lutyens, an English modernist composer, dismissed the British pastoral school, of which Vaughan Williams was the most prominent figure, with the withering term "cow-pat music.""


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Couchie said:


> I don't know the exact number because it's slaughter season. One time my son, Sinclair, fell into the meat grinder at the slaughterhouse. Sad. I didn't want to waste the batch though. Probably became somebody's burger in the end.


Ride of the Valkyries - has gotta be involved here somewhere I'm thinking, maybe in a new hamburger promotion!


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## Ryan (Dec 29, 2012)

There's nothing better than milking a cow at 05:00 am.... If your Amish.


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## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

Mahlerian said:


> Somewhere between _i_ and one googol.


I remember in elementary school, some man recounted the story of the mathematician's nephew who coined the term "googol". I'm sure there was more substance to his speech than I actually recollect, but the speaker seemed to be celebrating the "discovery" of the number. Somehow, by naming a number [and what a name! Decidedly not contiguous with numerical naming conventions], it finally is recognized as a conceptual reality. My first major moment of skepticism, in which I thought the claims were absurd--a number has a conceptual presence whether we name it or not--I was 8 or so, so the Spinozan, Kantian, or Wittgensteinian debates did not enter my head.

Sorry to the rambling, your post just reminded me of this.


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## Turangalîla (Jan 29, 2012)

Novelette said:


> I remember in elementary school, some man recounted the story of the mathematician's nephew who coined the term "googol". I'm sure there was more substance to his speech than I actually recollect, but the speaker seemed to be celebrating the "discovery" of the number. Somehow, by naming a number [and what a name! Decidedly not contiguous with numerical naming conventions], it finally is recognized as a conceptual reality. My first major moment of skepticism, in which I thought the claims were absurd--a number has a conceptual presence whether we name it or not--I was 8 or so, so the Spinozan, Kantian, or Wittgensteinian debates did not enter my head.
> 
> Sorry to the rambling, your post just reminded me of this.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Googol

And even better: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Googolplex


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

Zero. I exchanged them for magic beans!.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

aleazk said:


> Zero. I exchanged them for magic beans!.


but have you found the Goose yet or the Giant?


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## superhorn (Mar 23, 2010)

I have several million cows, but fortunately, they're invisible .


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## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

I can't believe that this thread has not yet sparked a flurry of interest and discussion.

This is easily the most pressing issue, currently.


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## BlazeGlory (Jan 16, 2013)

Krummhorn said:


> I divorced one once ... does that count? :lol:


You may have learned an important lesson. Never buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.


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## Weston (Jul 11, 2008)

I don't own any, but because of my superior intelligence and opposable thumbs, I pwn them all.

Then again, maybe not.

When I was a kid there was a field often full of cattle across the street from our house. After seeing the Alfred Hitchcock film "The Birds" I of course had nightmares, not about birds but about the cows. In my dream they had gotten loose and were swarming over the land, thousands of them knocking walls down and _standing_ in my bedroom. It was terrifying.

Later in college I was working on an art project involving the negative spaces between tree branches and went out into this same field to do a little -- well, field work. More pretentious folk might call it _plein air_ although I usually just referred to it as "outside." I sat on a comfy rock and began sketching a copse of trees with watercolor. I soon became immersed in the drawing and stopped looking up at the subject. Suddenly a big glob of gooey foam landed smack in the middle of my watercolor paper, making unplanned and rather disgusting amoebae in my sky. I glanced up startled and there was a giant wet Black Angus nose, dripping with cud and saliva about a foot from my face (though it seemed more like three inches). I yelled and threw the paper at the beast, eliciting no response whatsoever. So I yelled some more, levitated backward, and heart pounding watched as the cow slowly realized I was not very interesting and turned lazily away. Later the instructor claimed my drawings appeared contrived and I should go out and look at real trees. This was the beginning of my disillusionment with academia.


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## BlazeGlory (Jan 16, 2013)

Couchie said:


> I don't know the exact number because it's slaughter season. One time my son, Sinclair, fell into the meat grinder at the slaughterhouse. Sad. I didn't want to waste the batch though. Probably became somebody's burger in the end.


Sounds like a real whopper.


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## deggial (Jan 20, 2013)

Novelette said:


> I can't believe that this thread has not yet sparked a flurry of interest and discussion.
> 
> This is easily the most pressing issue, currently.


the more pressing question is: how many cows own you?


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## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

deggial said:


> the more pressing question is: how many cows own you?


Innumerable cows!


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

Novelette said:


> I can't believe that this thread has not yet sparked a flurry of interest and discussion.
> 
> This is easily the most pressing issue, currently.


Funny,I was just thinking that.


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

Math jokes!: I can't say because the set is not _Countable_!


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## ZombieBeethoven (Jan 17, 2012)

If you do not know llamas, you cannot have llamas.
That was a quote from an ad selling llamas.
The same could be said for cows.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

I know Cowes. May I own cows?


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

aleazk said:


> Math jokes!: I can't say because the set is not _Countable_!


O.K. So what's its aleph number?


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## Skilmarilion (Apr 6, 2013)

I don't understand why owning pi number of cows and liking wombats are mutually exclusive.


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

Skilmarilion said:


> I don't understand why owning pi number of cows and liking wombats are mutually exclusive.


Because pi is transcendental.

Drat! Another math joke!


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## superhorn (Mar 23, 2010)

Milking a cow is easy . Any jerk can do it .


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

Taggart said:


> O.K. So what's its aleph number?


Between










and










!. lol


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

the first one ...............


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