# Some Non Composer Descendents Of J.S. Bach In America



## superhorn (Mar 23, 2010)

As is well known , the mighty Johann Sebastian Bach had about four sons among his numerous offspring who became respected ocmposer in their own wright . They include Carl Philipp Emmanuel, (C.P.E.) , Johann Christian, 
J.C., and the least among them, the infamous P.D.Q. etc.
But it is not well known that a number of Johann's remote descendents are currently living in America .
However, none of them is a musician or composer . They include :

J.P.C. Bach , a graphic artist . 

L.A.X. Bach, an air traffic controller.

L.O.L. Bach, a comedian .

M.T.A. Bach, a Boston-based transportation specialist.

M.R.I. Bach, a medical technician.

M.S.W. Bach, a social worker .

N.B.A. Bach, a professional basketball player .

N.F.L. Bach, a professional football player .

N.B.C. Bach, a media specialist.

N.E.A. Bach, an arts advocate .

N.E.H. Bach, a humanities scholar.

O.T.B. Bach, who works in the gaming industry .

P.****** Bach, a media specialist .

Ph.D. Bach, a college professor .

P.D.F. Bach, a d0ocument transfer specialist.

T.L.C. Bach, a nurse .

T.N.T. Bach, an expert in explosives.

T.W.A. Bach, a retired airline pilot.

U.F.O. Bach , an amateur astronomer/ astrophysicist .

V.F.W. Bach, a reitred soldier .

W.T.F. Bach, a cultural critic.




:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

N.S.F. Bach, a spendthrift

O.M.G. Bach, a professional alarmist...


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

C.N.N. Bach, a true wolf in sheep's clothing...?
T.M.Z. Bach, a member of the paparazzi.


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

G. O. P. Bach, a talk radio host on an AM station in North Dakota

B. O. K. Bach, a poultry farmer 

K. F. C. Bach, a poultry vendor 

I. B. Bach, an actor then politician now returned to acting 

B. S. Bach, internet tough guy and Conservapedia editor 

B. A. T. Bach, do-gooder with a dark side 

A. T. M. Bach, father of teenagers 

S. N. M. Bach, profession withheld 

E. L. F. Bach, radical environmentalist now held in North Dakota prison 

Go. 2. Work. Bach, voice in my head


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

Letron Bach, Lebron Bach's cousin who took to gangs since he had no talent for basketball.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

A.R.F. Bach, canine breeder
S.A.W. Bach, (female) a sexually aggressive woman
S.F.V Bach, her sister, a sexually frustrated virgin

and

S.M.O.G. Bach, a Sexy Man of God.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Wolf Bach- needs no introduction


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

A.K.A. Bach - con artist
B.A.D. Bach - physiotherapist
L.U.K. Bach - historian


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

P.O.O. Bach - A toilet expert (a bit like Australia's Kenny)

M.O.O. Bach - A dairy farmer.

R.O.O. Bach - An expert in marsupials, including kangaroos.

H.I.P. Bach - An expert in period instrument performance of the music of his great ancestor.

L.B.W. Bach - A cricketer who always puts his leg in the wrong place and gets out (Leg Before Wicket).

L.I.P. Bach - Cosmetics expert specialising in lipstick.

D.D.T. Bach - Inventor of the pesticide that is now banned in most places.

R.B.T. Bach - Cop who gives drivers RBTs (Random Breath Tests) in order to decrease drink driving and raise revenue for the cash strapped state government.

I better stop Bach cos these are a bit...lame...


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## Rapide (Oct 11, 2011)

O.I.O.I.O.I Bach - the uncouth Aussie Bach


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Rapide said:


> O.I.O.I.O.I Bach - the uncouth Aussie Bach


That's the best kind- picture attached


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## worov (Oct 12, 2012)

I don't see myself in the list. Where am I ?


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

Sospan Bach - the Welsh side of the family
DWI Bach - the black sheep of the family
NRA Bach - upholds the right to bear arms


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Melba Bach, the post-menopausal beauty (Matron Enjoying Late-Blooming Allure)
W. D. S. A. Bach, the nagging housewife (We Demand Straight Answers)
H. G. D. Bach, the much-married, much-divorced foxy lady (Happy Gold Digger)

& Francis Bach-Onn, the 20th century art specialist
P.I.O.T. Bach-Burner, the lazy procrastinator.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Since no one has done this yet...

E.I.E.I.O. Bach, a successful farmer with diversified portfolio.


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## Klavierspieler (Jul 16, 2011)

I. D. K. Bach - Nobody really knows much about him.


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

I. R. S. Bach, the one Bach that all the other Bachs try to avoid


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## Feathers (Feb 18, 2013)

Bach Bach Bach - the Bach that owns a chicken farm.

And for some reason I've always had this image in my head since childhood:
H.O.H.O.H.O. Bach - the Bach that wears red and puts presents under your tree.


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## Kieran (Aug 24, 2010)

Honour Bach - the prostitute Bach


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## userfume (Nov 21, 2012)

R.I.P. Bach - the orignial Bach


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

Not so funny round here but 

Dai Bach another Welshman who attacks Ash trees


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

I.O.U. Bach - Always asks for loans.

B.B.Q. Bach - Bach's Aussie descendent who's always prepared to 'throw a few snags on the barby.'

R.S.I. Bach - The Bach with Repetitive Strain Injury.

L.G.B.T. Bach - The black sheep of the family who goes to Sydney Mardi Gras and dances to Gloria Gaynor's 'I will survive' not some boring gavotte.

f.f.f. Bach - Carries a boombox around the streets blaring out Brandenburg Concerto #3 at full volume. Has consequently been fined more than once for noise pollution but does it stop him? No, cos he lives by his name.


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## MaestroViolinist (May 22, 2012)

I don't think anyone's done this one yet... 

P.S. Bach - The Bach who always has something extra to say.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

"I'll" B. Bach. 

Anyone done that yet? Maybe he'll arrive at a more wholesome view of humanity, maybe not, but for now, "I'll" B. Bach! (if anyone wants to help me with this one, I admit I did my best)


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

S.O.B. Bach, the nasty one of the family


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

P.D.Q Bach - specialises in presto passages
A.S.A.P. Bach - specialises in prestissimo passages
L.A.I.D Bach - specialises in lentissimo passages

Two for the English

U.E.A. Bach - professor of Music in Norwich

and his mentally challenged younger brother

N.F.N. Bach


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

E.O.Q. Bach, procurement specialist
Q.E.D. Bach, geometry teacher


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

O.U.T. Bach

The Australian Cousin


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

M.D. Bach - the doctor
D.D. Bach - The Preacher
L.L.B Bach - the lawyer


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

M.F.A. (S.A.) Bach ~ Sound Artist with MFA from an art school (not to be mistaken with a music school). Currently working as busboy in an extremely trendy-hip music club in L.A. Harbors a secret longing that one night, the DJ will get delayed -- better killed in a freeway accident -- and that M.F.A. (S.A.) will then get to step up to the turntables, sound generators, beat boxes and mixers, and thereby make his (dramatic and stunning, of course) debut.

O.C.D. Bach ~ In undergraduate conservatory years, became so fixated upon music theory that even with all ardent burning intentions to become a composer, he has yet to write an actual composition. Later finished a masters in theory and then a double doctorate in Theory and Musicology. Teaches class piano and theory in a community college in North Dakota, still working on a book, _Post tonal theory as manifested in the Musics of Jean-Philippe Rameau and Claude Debussy_, for his own amusement and with intent to bump up his public credibility as both music theorist and musicologist, via facebook first, then the world.

I.M. Bach ~ after a preliminary (and brief) youthful career as a competitive body builder, successfully switched over to movies, where he had some great financial, if not artistic, success. Later became Governor of California.

I.M. Not Bach ~ aka Paul Hindemith III: a lesser-known contemporary composer, known of, revered and played within and by a tiny circlet / circuit of theorist petty academic musicians -- the rest, self-explanatory.

T.H.E.Y.R.E. Bach ~ Former child actress, best known for her role in the _Poltergeist_ trilogy, now adult and retired from acting: currently a highly successful real estate agent who specializes in selling single family homes on new development sites in Southern California.

Bert Bach Arach III ~ In a complete and reactionary reversal to his grandfather's training, that with Darius Milhaud and then later becoming a force majeur contributor to the Great American Songbook, Bert III got a Fulbright Scholarship, jumped the pond, studied at the Sorbonne, then became an assistant at IRCAM, where he gets paid to sweep up, and waits patiently for those early post midnight hours when the equipment is free to program his logarithmic isometric rhythms, upon which he spans very long strings of elaborate non-retrogradable cancrizans of microtonal electronic materiel, all those techniques in service of the principles of fractal geometry. Despite the use of all these technical elements, the music has a strong familial resemblance to that of both Ravel and the musical language of Lord LLoyd Weber, and a rather lush sensual appeal.

[[ADD; P.s. Whoops and beg pardon! I.M. Not Bach and Bert Bach Arach III are technically, 'composers' - got carried away with the premise.]]


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

B. A. B. Gott-Bach - muse to Sir Mix-a-Lot


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> O.U.T. Bach
> 
> The Australian Cousin


... and publicly and proudly lesbian, gay, bisexual, or trangendered. 
His cousin, I. T. C. (in the closet) Bach, has not made a public splash of any sort, yet, despite all of cousin O.U.T Bach's urgings.


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## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

I promise all of you that in a few months I will resurrect this thread.

Must keep it fresh. :tiphat:


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

N.S.F.W. Bach - a professional pornographer.

P.B.U.H. Bach - Al Qaeda operative. 

I.B. Bach - stunt double for Arnold Schwarzenegger.

D.W.E.E.Z.I.L. Bach - adopted son of Frank Zappa.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

I.F.U. Bach, the Bach who is always making big mistakes.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

I.O.U Bach the Greek Cousin......................


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