# String Quartet Feedback



## Celloissimo (Mar 29, 2013)

This is a work in progress, but I would really appreciate some feedback on what I have so far, because I would like to have a good foundation on what I'm doing right or completely f*cking up. I'm an amateur composer so I'm not aiming for anything large scale, so my goal is simply to have a pleasant and well-structured piece.

I'm writing in sonata form as simple as it can get, with two main motives (B-C#-D-G-A, and D-F#-D-F#)) in the exposition , which is only eleven bars. The development, which I am working on now, begins with the modulation to E Minor. In the first few bars I pair the two outer voices against the inner voices, playing two contrapuntal lines. Motive #1 is varied by retrograde inversion in measures 15-17.

After the recapitulation, my idea is actually for the piece to end in the parallel key of D Major to evoke a sense of triumph from the mournful beginning in B Minor.

I would love any advice and I take no offense to honest feedback.

Score: http://www.noteflight.com/scores/view/b350ba9c56e8ba06547b42247d4b441826e534d6


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

You say that it is in sonata form, but I don't have the sense, even after you change the key signature, that the tonal "gravity" has changed at all; I hear it more like a modal inflection of B minor rather than E minor.

Your metronome marking should be in half notes. I understand not all programs can do this, for some stupid reason...
Parallel octaves from bar 10 to 11 between first and second violins should be avoided.
Writing something in a common practice minor key necessitates use of the leading tone in dominant harmony.
The texture in bars 12-14 is strange. Either have all the instruments in unison or have the cello and viola do one thing (in octaves) while the violins do another, but you wouldn't normally double the first violin an octave higher than the cello and have the other two parts doing stuff in the middle.
The harmony in bars 22 and on doesn't fill in full chords. Have the second violin or viola play the fifth (perhaps alternating, to relieve the monotony of the repetitive rhythm and sequence?).

In spite of all that, I think it would be best to keep going, finish it, and then learn from the mistakes you made rather than getting stymied here and never proceeding any further.


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## Celloissimo (Mar 29, 2013)

Mahlerian said:


> You say that it is in sonata form, but I don't have the sense, even after you change the key signature, that the tonal "gravity" has changed at all; I hear it more like a modal inflection of B minor rather than E minor.


That is definitely correct in that the tonal center doesn't appear to really change. Would you suggest a different phrase in E Minor that would better stress the tonic change, or a modulation to a different key altogether (although in standard practice it would typically modulate to the sub-dominant).



Mahlerian said:


> The texture in bars 12-14 is strange. Either have all the instruments in unison or have the cello and viola do one thing (in octaves) while the violins do another, but you wouldn't normally double the first violin an octave higher than the cello and have the other two parts doing stuff in the middle.


My aim was to pair the two outer voices against the inner voices playing two contrapuntal lines. I want to keep the phrase I have as well as its accompaniment, so would it sound better if perhaps the cello+viola were playing the second line while Violins I and II play the first?



> Writing something in a common practice minor key necessitates use of the leading tone in dominant harmony.


If I understand you correctly, does this mean using V7 chords to create tonic stress?


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

Celloissimo said:


> That is definitely correct in that the tonal center doesn't appear to really change. Would you suggest a different phrase in E Minor that would better stress the tonic change, or a modulation to a different key altogether (although in standard practice it would typically modulate to the sub-dominant).


The change to the sub-dominant usually (Classically) comes near the end of a sonata form movement, to balance out the earlier emphasis on the dominant. The exposition should end in D major and the development start in that key or a closely related one.

The problem, though, is not the key you chose, it's the lack of any modulation. As a harmony text I read was very intent on insisting, modulation is a combination of rhythm, harmony, and melodic phrasing that combine to give the impression that the tonal center has decisively shifted from one place to another. Simply having a phrase or part of a phrase in a key doesn't necessarily give the impression that we're "in" that key, because we hear everything in the context of what came before, an our ear will generally continue to hear everything in a single key unless the new one is emphatically declared.



Celloissimo said:


> My aim was to pair the two outer voices against the inner voices playing two contrapuntal lines. I want to keep the phrase I have as well as its accompaniment, so would it sound better if perhaps the cello+viola were playing the second line while Violins I and II play the first?


Assuming that the lines work together this way, and that you didn't want the disorienting effect that you achieved with the previous texture, yes.



Celloissimo said:


> If I understand you correctly, does this mean using V7 chords to create tonic stress?


It means that those V7 (or V) chords should have sharpened thirds to emphasize B as the tonal center.


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## Celloissimo (Mar 29, 2013)

Bar 7 I sharpened the A in the Viola part on the dominant chord. I included a more effective modulation, keeping in mind emphasizing a change in rhythm and mood, from D Major to G major. From G Major I plan on using a deceptive cadence to stitch it together with the E Minor section which I'm still working on. 

Finally, in measure 30 I filled in complete chords, with the Viola and Violin II alternating with playing the 5th of the chord and the rhythm.

Some things I want to fix:
-Parallel 5th between cello and viola (m. 8)
-More interesting contrapuntal section with more varied harmony, making it sound less like an exercise (m.14)
-Making sure Motive #1 is heard clearly in the exposition, (B-C#-D-A-G) so the listener understands it's being varied in the development, because it is being buried under the viola and violin II. (m.1-2)


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