# Music for a speeding ticket...



## vtpoet (Jan 17, 2019)

I would say the majority of my speeding tickets can be blamed on music. My last speeding ticket was to the tune of Händel's Second Suite a due cori—one of those moments when Händel really gets cranking. It was a radio broadcast of a performance by Trivor Pinnock, I think. That recording cost me about $160. Of course, the cop asks me—What's your hurry?—and of course I completely made something up. Wasn't about to explain why it was George Friedrich Händel's fault.

Is it only me?


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

I can't say that's the reason for my lead foot. But I remember the musician Johnny Dankworth trying to talk himself out of a speeding ticket by telling the officer, "I have perfect pitch, and when I am going as fast as you say I am, my engine hums at A-440 (or whatever), so your Radar gun is wrong." It didn't work, of course, but it was creative.


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## Vasks (Dec 9, 2013)

It's only you 

In the meantime, some advice: Never play Gliere's "Russian Sailor's Dance" while driving as the music gets louder and faster throughout and that may cause your foot to keep steadily applying pressure to the accelerator.


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## vtpoet (Jan 17, 2019)

Speaking for a friend, I take it?


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## Olias (Nov 18, 2010)

There was a famous conductor (I forget who it was) that when stopped for speeding he told the officer that he couldn't go any slower when listening to the finale of Beethoven's 7th.


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## Rogerx (Apr 27, 2018)

vtpoet said:


> Speaking for a friend, I take it?


Post of the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lol:


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## Metairie Road (Apr 30, 2014)

Vasks said:


> It's only you
> 
> In the meantime, some advice: Never play Gliere's "Russian Sailor's Dance" while driving as the music gets louder and faster throughout and that may cause your foot to keep steadily applying pressure to the accelerator.


Listening to the Gliere reminded me of Massenet's Orchestral Suite No. 5 'Scènes Napolitaines' with it's hundred miles per hour finale. Whenever I listen to it I always imagine the orchestra collapsing from exhaustion at the end.


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## Becca (Feb 5, 2015)

Remind me to stay out of Vermont!


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## larold (Jul 20, 2017)

I once caused an accident listening to Respighi's _Brazillian Impressions_. After the airbag inflated and the car was full of dust I realized the music was quite loud.


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## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

Becca said:


> Remind me to stay out of Vermont!


Driving in Vermont is a pleasant experience - California not so much.


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## vtpoet (Jan 17, 2019)

Bulldog said:


> Driving in Vermont is a pleasant experience - California not so much.


Wrote this not too long ago. =)

You might have had ten miles clear road ahead,
A sunny break of fields along the way
And breathed the scent of daffodils instead-
There's nothing like a crisp New England day-
But life gives nothing isn't marred or flawed.
No, certain as a ten inch snow in June
And all the passing lanes gone by, by God
You'll not be anywhere on time or soon.
The S.O.B. is only hell-bent sure
For just so long as takes to cut you off
Then drives as if he took a Sunday tour
And now's your luck to watch his tail pipe cough,
····You'd swear, with malice of the kind that's flaunted.
····You haven't lived until you've been Vermonted.

Vermonted

https://poemshape.wordpress.com/2014/02/25/vermonted/


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## Mandryka (Feb 22, 2013)

Skasniannsckjknnnnjwnsdciun


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## Enthusiast (Mar 5, 2016)

Speed limits save lives, of course, and cost good money. I try not to be influenced by music but did get a ticket once as a result of a combination of music and the fact that I was driving away from a difficult and unpleasant situation half an hour earlier.


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## CnC Bartok (Jun 5, 2017)

I tend to drive way above the speed limit when listening to Benjamin Britten. That way the music ends so much sooner. :devil:


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## SONNET CLV (May 31, 2014)

I will suggest:
park the car
listen to your music
then, drive off in silence …
or listen only (if you _must _have music)
to John Cage's 4'33"

Safe driving. Safe listening.

Remember: a reckless driver is generally not a wreckless driver.
(Or is it?: A wreckless driver is generally not a reckless driver.)


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## BachIsBest (Feb 17, 2018)

CnC Bartok said:


> I tend to drive way above the speed limit when listening to Benjamin Britten. That way the music ends so much sooner. :devil:


Actually, when you go faster time slows down so to a stationary observer the music ends later!


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

BachIsBest said:


> Actually, when you go faster time slows down so to a stationary observer the music ends later!


If a stationary observer's hearing of your car radio is influenced by a relativistic effect, you are about to receive the mother of all speeding tickets.


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## BachIsBest (Feb 17, 2018)

KenOC said:


> If a stationary observer's hearing of your car radio is influenced by a relativistic effect, you are about to receive the mother of all speeding tickets.


Unless it's satellite radio. In which case you could be driving at a perfectly reasonable speed and your radio would need relativistic effects. So your statement is inaccurate to all those who listen to radio broadcasted from satellites (I'm sure this applies to many, many, people).

Plus, they'd probably have a hard time reading your license plate due to the mushroom cloud caused by the front of your care fusing atoms together. But if they could, I must admit, you would have quite the ticket.


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## SONNET CLV (May 31, 2014)

KenOC said:


> If a stationary observer's hearing of your car radio is influenced by a relativistic effect, you are about to receive the mother of all speeding tickets.


If they can catch you!

Actually, the one chasing you might well be long dead by time you slow down and stop. You may not have aged any more time than the duration of the music, but the remainder of the world will have moved well on in time. Who knows if the road itself will still be there.

Be careful out there when playing music in your automobile.


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## BachIsBest (Feb 17, 2018)

SONNET CLV said:


> If they can catch you!
> 
> Actually, the one chasing you might well be long dead by time you slow down and stop. You may not have aged any more time than the duration of the music, but the remainder of the world will have moved well on in time. Who knows if the road itself will still be there.
> 
> Be careful out there when playing music in your automobile.


Although this whole conversation is kinda silly, if the road is no longer there you were probably going fast enough that you blew up a large chunk of the planet anyways. I would stick with making Britten last a fraction of a second longer for the safety of all involved.


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## CnC Bartok (Jun 5, 2017)

I do realise that my Britten argument might not have stood up to more modern ideas in Physics, but I still reckon I'm right. 

Rather reminds me of the commentary once during the build-up to the FA Cup final: aerial view of Wembley Stadium and:

Commentator 1: "Wonderful pictures of Wembley Stadium from our helicopter there. It does look a lot smaller from the air than it actually is"

Commentator 2: "Very true. I suppose it just proves Einstein's Theory of Relativity must be right"

Yeah, I know. Not the brightest, sports commentators.....


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