# Classical music limericks



## Fsharpmajor

Does anybody know any? Or care to write some?
Here's one that I, ahem, composed:

The Russian guy Rodion Shchedrin
Stands out from amid all his bredren.
That dude is inspired!
He gets himself wired
On crack, cigarettes and Excedrin


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## purple99

There was a composer named Mozart
Whose music's okay (for the most part)
From the scraping of strings
To the thumping on things
To the large-people-stretching-their-throats part.


There's one about Bach practicing on a spinster (a sphincter in some versions) in the attic but it can't be repeated on a family forum.


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## Aramis

Mahler, Mahler,
Everybody let's dance, 
Mahler, Mahler,
Orgasm, orgasm, TRANCE!!!


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## nickgray

Here's a crappy one I just wrote:

They guy I speak of was a dork,
By skies he was affected.
And in his monumental piece
His dreams were reflected:
Four grand machines rose to the skies
In their intentions they were bold,
But no one knew of the demise,
A tragedy was destined to unfold:
Chromatic violin passage,
A microfissure in fuselage.
The helicopters scream in pain,
The pilots have become insane,
"Mayday! Mayday!"
Alas, all's lost,
And everybody dies in vain...


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## Fsharpmajor

Here's another one I made up:

There was a composer, Nancarrow
Whose musical breadth was quite narrow.
But all is explained,
See, at birth he'd obtained
A brain that was meant for a sparrow.


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## Ostinato

I've never heard any songs finer
Than Schubert's late settings of Heine.
_Die Stadt_, with its edgy
Piano arpeggi,
Sounds best in the key of C minor.


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## Sid James

There was a composer called Rossini
He liked to eat spaghetti & tortellini
He was a good cook
He wrote his own recipe book
And said "I am a greater composer than Paganini!"

(Thanks to google for providing me with rhyming words!)

By the way, very clever, Ostinato...


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## Fsharpmajor

There was a composer named Schoenberg
Who missed the next train into Nurnberg.
"I said I'd be late
For our dinner at eight
As soon as I managed to phone Berg."


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## Cortision

There was a Composer called Handel
To whom most cannot hold a candle
He wrote _The Messiah_
A great work to inspire
If it ain't then I'll go eat my sandle


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## Sid James

There was a composer called Bartok
Who was very different from Granville Bantock
he composed music of great brilliance
Of assonance and dissonance
It is some of the greatest music of our epoch!

(Again, many thanks to Google...)


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## Cortision

There was a composer called Bruch
whose music is well worth a look
He wrote a concerto
a popular work, though
it sadly the rest overtook


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## Fsharpmajor

There was a composer named Ives
Who should've had one fewer lives.
His music's the worst
That's been ever rehearsed
And also, he beat up his wives.


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## Cortision

Heres a couple more:

There was a composer from Bonn
Whose hearing decayed, whereapon
He took an ear trumpet
To hear himself thump it,
The piano strings snapped, and were gone.

There was a composer called Brahms
Whose music has wonderful charms.
Some say its old-fashioned,
Should be banned and then rationed,
While others it soothes and it calms.

A young lad whose first name was felix
Had good stuff in his double-helix.
He had, you will find,
a prodigious mind
for music when he was a mere six.

And finally, one not about a composer.

I attempted to play my old violin
But the sound that I made, it was very thin.
I groaned, shrieked and scratched
Until it was snatched
Right from under the hairs of my chinny-chin.


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## Mirror Image

There was a composer named Maurice Ravel
Getting him to go get out of the house was hell
Lived much of his life in secrecy
He was declared the greatest French composer after Debussy
Ravel composed really, really well

I just made this up off the top of my head.


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## Cortision

Heres to the top of Mirror Image's head!


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## Mirror Image

Cortision said:


> Heres to the top of Mirror Image's head!


Not bad for making it up eh?


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## Cortision

Mine were also made up by myself, just in case anyone was wondering.


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## Fsharpmajor

There was a composer, John Antill
Whose portrait still sits on my mantel.
The height of his fame
Was once top of the game,
But now it's the size of an anthill.


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## Fsharpmajor

Mine are made up myself, as well.

There lives a composer named Tuur,
Not one that I really prefer.
His oeuvre's a stinker
(Is he a big drinker?)
Let's hope that it doesn't endure.


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## Rasa

Had a master craftman's heart
Asked by kings to show his art
Yet played a small prank here and there
Do remember the musicians, fleeing from their chair
No, I speak not of Mozart

I remember having to write these when I was 8, in school.


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## Fsharpmajor

There was a composer named Nielsen--
To Denmark he seemed like a real son.
When Ruders complained
"I am not well-acclaimed,"
He answered, "I know how you feel, son."


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## Ostinato

Two more I made up:

Richard Wagner was very adroit
At inventing new chords to exploit.
_Tristan und Isolde_
Appeared even bolder
In pre-1900 Bayreuth.

It's hard to assess Pergolesi,
As much of his life is so hazy.
The works that are fake
And approved by mistake
Can drive musicologists crazy.


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## Fsharpmajor

There once was a man, Gustav Mahler,
Conductor, composer and scholar.
When asked why his Third
Was so long, he was heard
To say "How could it be any smaller?"


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## Fsharpmajor

The music of Joachim Rodrigo
Is winsome and modest of ego.
It doesn't assault you
Or try to pole-vault you,
It just wants to be youir amigo.


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## Sid James

There is a composer, Varese
He is mainly conducted by Boulez
Wierd sounds, harsh noises, and sharps
There's room for all types of instruments, including harps
I think he's a great composer, no matter what anyone says...


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## Fsharpmajor

You beat me to it--I made up a Varese one, but I didn't post it
because I wasn't sure about the pronunciation of his name.
Anyway, here it is:

There was a composer, Varese
Who one time was heard to confess,
"I've heard quite enough--
I can't stand my own stuff.
It is torture--illegal duress!"


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## Sid James

That's a good one about Varese, fsharpmajor...

Here's another one about Ravel:

There was a composer, Ravel
He really didn't like to travel.
He was born near the border with Spain,
but spent most of his time in France, near the Seine,
where he let his music unravel.

& one I thought up about Iggy Pop (this one's not 'factual,' as I don't really know much about the man):

There is an old rocker, Iggy Pop,
who occassionally likes to eat a lamb chop.
He smothered one with sauce,
but he really was at a loss,
and thought 'I hope my next album isn't a flop.'

& yes, I need to seriously get a life, but here's one about Janacek:

There was a composer, Janacek.
His music was different to that of Dussek.
His Cunning Little Vixen
is a really pleasant listen.
It's better than the soundtrack of 'The Shrek.'

& Josef Tal:

There was a composer, Josef Tal.
His music is not sentimental.
It is a bit atonal,
but not at all polytonal,
and nor is it very, very brutal.


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## Sid James

This is not a classical one, but what the hell...

There was a singer called Elvis,
Boy, he could really move his pelvis.
He liked to eat fried banana,
But he didn't wear a bandana.
He was really, really rebellious.


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## Fsharpmajor

There lives a composer, Jon Lord
Who says he gets utterly bored
When his wife and daughter
Want "Smoke on the Water"
From _Machine Head_ played on a Strat board.

That's both classical *and* rock!

There once was a cycle, _The Ring_
With music, and plenty to sing.
There's not a note wrong,
But still, it was so long
That nobody's heard the whole thing.

There was a composer named Liszt
Who loved to carouse and get pissed.
There's a wine bar in Paris
With an outdoor beer terrace
Where his presence will greatly be missed.


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## Sid James

Many composers wrote more than one symphony,
Beethoven, Brahms, Dvorak (but not Czerny).
Some have a nice tune,
Others are about doom and gloom.
They are all exercises in beautiful harmony!


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## Fsharpmajor

Beethoven, the great Ludwig van
Was one very handicapped man,
'Cause if you're a chef
You don't mind if you're deaf,
But composers should hear, if they can.

And now I'm going for the Big Rhyme:

A young Russian man, Rostropovich
Confided to Lydia Mordkovich, 
"When me and my band
By the critics get panned
We blame it all on Shostakovich."


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## Ostinato

Tchaikovsky made listeners shriek
With a loud chord in his 'Pathétique'.
The brass and percussion
Employed by the Russian
Make Haydn's 'Surprise' seem quite weak.


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## Fsharpmajor

Well done, I wish I had written that one!

There is a composer named Segerstam
Whose music is bound to beleaguer some.
Two hundred and fifteen
Symphonies--I mean,
That's a long way from a meagre sum.


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## Cortision

There was a fine pianist called Richter
Whose discipline couldn't be stricter
His technique had no flaw
Yet he played with the score
Just so he had music to stick ter


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## Cortision

There was a composer called Liszt
Whom the ladies just could not resist.
His masterful playing
had them them sighing and swaying
To the sounds from his fingers and wrist.

I'm sorry about this last one; it implies either that Liszt only had one wrist or that he played only with one hand, both of which are palpably untrue. Do you think poetic license covers me here?


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## Fsharpmajor

I would say so, although you could cheat on the rhyme and say 'wrists.'

There's no greater aural fatigue
Than you get from the music of Grieg.
His failings are legion,
That silly Norwegian.
How *did* he become major league?


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## Fsharpmajor

Here's a couple more I made up yesterday:

There was a composer, Tartini
A fiddler, like Paganini.
His infamous dream
About Satan, it seems
Was caused by some bad squid linguini.

There was a composer named Satie
Who was more than a little bit batty,
And some of the notes
In the pieces he wrote
Are either too sharp, or ring flatly.


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## Ostinato

Apart from his _Quattro Stagioni_,
Vivaldi's a bit of a phoney.
He uses strict sequence
With far too much frequence;
To label him 'great' is baloney.


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## Fsharpmajor

There was a conductor, Atzmon
Whose method was much frowned upon.
In fact, his own niece
Once begged the police
To please confiscate his baton.

There once was a man, Frederik Magle
Who loved to compose at the table,
Which is why the best piece
That he's ever released
Is entitled "An Ode to a Bagel."


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## Cortision

Vivaldi's Concerti "Four Seasons"
Are liked for a good many reasons.
They delight, and as such
They are played far too much
But unlike this limerick, they rhyme


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## Fsharpmajor

There's no greater question to me
(Though I am a Philistine, see)
Than why FM stations
Put heavy rotation
On Pachelbel's "Canon in D."


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## Ostinato

Edvard Grieg, a distinguished Norwegian,
Is a rare famous name from that region.
He'd have stood little chance
Had he grown up in France,
Where well-known composers are legion.


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## Ostinato

Ravel wrote _Bolero_ in C,
And it mostly remains in that key,
But near the conclusion
Amid some confusion
It modulates briefly to E.

At first, when proceedings begin,
The instrumentation is thin;
But the slow inspissation
With each variation
Builds up to an ear-splitting din.

So let's take off our hats to Ravel
Who crafted the piece very well;
A composer from France
And an old Spanish dance
Have captured the world with their spell.


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## Fsharpmajor

A limerick suite! Now I'll have to come up with something like that....


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## Fsharpmajor

Okay, here goes. This is loosely based on a Wikipedia article:

http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_the_ninth

There are, of course, nine limericks in the suite.

Beethoven's career reached fruition
With his Ninth, but a weird superstition
Then somehow arose
Saying all who compose
Any more would end up in perdition.

Franz Schubert abandoned his Eighth
And wrote a new ninth one, "The Great,"
But soon he was dead
With no mark on his head.
It must have been something he ate.

When Dvorak had proudly unfurled
His wonderful Ninth, the "New World,"
He soon was found dead
With no sign of bloodshed.
At the foot of the bed he lay curled.

Now Bruckner, he got right down to it.
He honestly thought he could do it.
When he was found dead
With no blow to his head,
He was only about halfway through it.

When Mahler completed his Nine,
He thought everything would be fine.
But next he was dead
As a doornail. They said,
"Could someone have posioned his wine?"

Vaughan Williams, he thought nothing of it.
"That's nonsense," he said. "I'm above it."
He finished the piece
Just before his decease
While declaring, "I hope people love it."

Though Stalin denounced the work first,
Shostakovich, at least, beat the curse.
While not superstitious,
He did get suspicious,
And snatched a syringe from the nurse.

Penderecki has now written eight,
And he has been nervous, of late.
If anyone dares him,
He says the though scares him,
But still thinks it could be his fate.

This tale of the curse of the "Choral"
Of course has an apposite moral:
Write an opera instead,
Or you'll find yourself dead
From a toxin, injected or oral.


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## AlanPalgut

There once was a young man named Schubert
Who wrote operas without any clue, Bert.
They failed in Vienna
And angered the tenor
Who sang them, so he left the noob hurt.


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## Operadowney

Fsharpmajor said:


> Okay, here goes. This is loosely based on a Wikipedia article:
> 
> http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_the_ninth
> 
> There are, of course, nine limericks in the suite.
> 
> Beethoven's career reached fruition
> With his Ninth, but a weird superstition
> Then somehow arose
> Saying all who compose
> Any more would end up in perdition.
> 
> Franz Schubert abandoned his Eighth
> And wrote a new ninth one, "The Great,"
> But soon he was dead
> With no mark on his head.
> It must have been something he ate.
> 
> When Dvorak had proudly unfurled
> His wonderful Ninth, the "New World,"
> He soon was found dead
> With no sign of bloodshed.
> At the foot of the bed he lay curled.
> 
> Now Bruckner, he got right down to it.
> He honestly thought he could do it.
> When he was found dead
> With no blow to his head,
> He was only about halfway through it.
> 
> When Mahler completed his Nine,
> He thought everything would be fine.
> But next he was dead
> As a doornail. They said,
> "Could someone have posioned his wine?"
> 
> Vaughan Williams, he thought nothing of it.
> "That's nonsense," he said. "I'm above it."
> He finished the piece
> Just before his decease
> While declaring, "I hope people love it."
> 
> Though Stalin denounced the work first,
> Shostakovich, at least, beat the curse.
> While not superstitious,
> He did get suspicious,
> And snatched a syringe from the nurse.
> 
> Penderecki has now written eight,
> And he has been nervous, of late.
> If anyone dares him,
> He says the though scares him,
> But still thinks it could be his fate.
> 
> This tale of the curse of the "Choral"
> Of course has an apposite moral:
> Write an opera instead,
> Or you'll find yourself dead
> From a toxin, injected or oral.


I jumped to my feet and applauded. Bravo!!


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## superhorn

There was a composer named Cage
whose music was once all the rage.
'Twas nothing but bunk and it certainly stunk,
but people still thought him a sage !


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## Fsharpmajor

Operadowney said:


> I jumped to my feet and applauded. Bravo!!


I had forgotten all about this. Now, I see I made a typo in the verse on Penderecki ("though" should read "thought"), and I think the last verse is a bit contrived. So if it's a masterpiece, it's a flawed one.


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## Igneous01

there once was a man named Wagner...
...
...
...


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## Lunasong

In Mahler's Eighth Symphony score
There's instrumentation galore.
With chorus and strings
And brass in the wings,
Cuz the stage couldn't fit anymore.


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## Operadowney

Fsharpmajor said:


> I had forgotten all about this. Now, I see I made a typo in the verse on Penderecki ("though" should read "thought"), and I think the last verse is a bit contrived. So if it's a masterpiece, it's a flawed one.


Realistically, what masterpieces aren't flawed?


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## superhorn

This one is from a guy on another classical music forum I'm on :

Thre was a composer named Glass,

There was a composer named Glass,

There was a composer,

There was a composer,

There was a ocmposer named Glass .


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## Fsharpmajor

After Superhorn:

There was a composer named Cage
Whose music was meant to outrage.
His best-known score
Was one hell of a bore.
It consisted of just one blank page.


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## Lunasong

To represent such things as birds
Beethoven; Respighi concur.
One must keep it light
For creatures of flight.
The use of the brass is absurd.

When one's writing music heroic
There's really no need to be stoic.
A trumpeter's aim
Is to overcome pain
If he misses a note, you will know it.


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## Celloman

*Musical Limericks Thread*

Hey, I thought this might be fun! We were starting to post limericks in the "Emoticons" thread, and it occurred to me that we could have a separate thread just for this.

*Just one rule: It has to be classical music related.* You can post a pre-existing limerick (please keep copyright laws in mind!) _or_ you can make one up yourself.

To start it off, here are two that I've already posted:

Bach was a talented bloke
Who lived in the German Baroque.
He walked all the way
To hear Buxy play,
And that's how his genius awoke!

Stravinsky decided to write
A piece with such rhythmical bite,
That Paris was shocked,
The poor man was mocked,
But history proved he was right!


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## Klavierspieler

There once was a young man of Bonn
Who would to Vienna be gone
To be taught by Moe,
But instead he got Joe, 
Who he seemed to consider a con.


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## Celloman

Beethoven went to the park.
He wandered around in the dark.
'Till someone said, "Hey!
Turn 'round, not this way."
Then thrashed him, he did. What a lark!


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## Celloman

Wagner completed his _Ring_.
He said, "This is quite a good thing!"
Then Cosima frowned
And leapt with a bound.
She kissed it and tied it with string.


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## Ingélou

Preferably to be chanted in a broad Yorkshire accent:

Though born in a Florentine gulley
Jean-Baptiste's life never went dully;
It was all quite a laugh
Till his orchestra staff
Scotched the airs and ambitions of Lully.


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## Ingélou

It's *Pur*-cell, though some say Pur-*cell*;
Then there's Chopin - Tchaikovsky as well:
Illustrious flames - 
Such a pity their names
Are a b*gg*r to say or to spell.

(Oops - 'beggar', of course. )


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## Ingélou

Last one, I promise!

'Your hopes of promotion are wrecked;
You are ugly, bald & hen-pecked;
But whenever you're seen,
Why, you seem so serene!'
He smiled: 'It's the Mozart effect...'


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## Lunasong

You'll enjoy this previous thread...
http://www.talkclassical.com/6405-classical-music-limericks.html


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## Vesteralen

Bob Schumann, he set out to seek
a place with old Papa Wieck.
He shouldn't have oughter
made love to his daughter.
His prospects are looking quite bleak.


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## Celloman

Here are three more:

Twelve-tone cacophony stinks.
Schoenberg and Webern are finks.
They make such a fright
That I'm not quite right.
I'd rather shake hands with a lynx!

I once heard a chord that was sly.
It sounded diminished, oh my!
The tones understood
That all of them could
Lead up to a root. Ain't that spry?

The Five-seven wanted to dance.
The three chord said, "No, not a chance!"
I'd rather find Six
To have some good kicks."
Then Five saw the One. A romance!


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## Mahlerian

Olivier went to the birds
To see if they sang well in thirds
Their song and their flight
Gave others a fright
Especially when matched with his words!


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## Mahlerian

Gustav loved his Alma so well
But still she gave him naught but hell.
Freud asked of his blunder,
And left him to wonder,
"Why am I still under her spell?"


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## Celloman

Poulenc can't quite make up his mind.
His tunes are bi-polar, I find.
Now they're happy, now sad
Or sometimes right mad.
He leaves all his logic behind.


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## Celloman

John Cage wrote a very strange song.
You sit there and don't play along.
The audience hears
Odd sounds from their chairs.
I guess that's what makes it so long!


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## Celloman

J. Brahms had a very long beard.
His friends they all thought he was weird.
He smoked on a pipe
And ate hearty tripe,
And Schumann's fair wife he endeared.


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## Fsharpmajor

I just cannot stand the scenario
When Classic FM plays "Canario."
Now here's what I do,
Though I can't speak for you.
I punch a big hole through my stereo.


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## Celloman

Tchaikovsky was not very tall.
He wrote symphonies, six in all.
He penned a ballet
That they often play
In seasons that come after Fall.

(Yeah, I know he wrote the Manfred. I didn't count it!)


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## Fsharpmajor

There was composer named Bach
Whose music I wouldn't dare knock.
That band Procol Harum
Stole a tune, didn't scare him.
He knew he'd outlive their art rock.


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## KenOC

Old Ludwig crammed lots, a whole loada
Stuff into every last coda.
They grew to such size
That they took the first prize
In a contest with Carol A. Doda.

People not of a certain age may need to look up the historical reference. :devil:


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## Celloman

That Cowell was not very nice.
He didn't know virtue from vice.
He banged on the keys
Like he had some fleas!
You like him? You'd better think twice.


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## Ostinato

I find many English works dreary,
As if the composer's world-weary.
A nostalgia-filled ode
In the Dorian mode
Is not what I'd play to feel cheery.

Pythagoras said: "The relation
Of pitch to the length of vibration
Is plain intuition
To any musician -
He needs no abstruse calculation".

When I eat at my favourite caff,
The music's unbearably naff.
Jazzed-up _Für Elise_?
Oh, not again, please!
Play something by Joachim Raff.

It's mostly Baroque works I've heard
That end with a Picardy third.
The _Appassionata_
Or _Moonlight_ Sonata
Would make such a thing sound absurd.


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## Celloman

Being a non-British Anglophile, I'll have to contradict you:

Vaughan Williams, B. Britten, Elgar
Are really the best, by quite far!
They all liked to soak
In old English folk.
They just might have come from a star!


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## superhorn

There was a young man of Granada.
who could fart the Moonlight sonata.
He blew out his ***
Bach's B Minor Mass .


Ouch !


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## rrudolph

superhorn said:


> There was a young man of Granada.
> who could fart the Moonlight sonata.
> He blew out his ***
> Bach's B Minor Mass .
> 
> Ouch !


Needs a last line (unless "ouch" is the last line).

May I suggest "While drinking a Pina Colada"?


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## KenOC

rrudolph said:


> Needs a last line (unless "ouch" is the last line).


Passenger in car: "Did you just pass a gas station?"
Driver: "No, I'm sure I would have felt it."


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## CypressWillow

That reminds me of a golden oldie:

There was a young man from Sparta
Who was a most accomplished farta.
He could fart any old thing,
From "God Save the King"
To Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. 

Always wanted to give credit to whichever genius wrote it!


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## KenOC

CypressWillow said:


> That reminds me of a golden oldie:


So old it has been found as graffiti on the pyramids:

There was a young man from Madras
Who had balls that were made out of brass.
When they banged together
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning came out of his ***.


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## rrudolph

John Cage opened all of our ears
Saying "Music's whatever one hears"
He added new factors 
And now his detractors
Won't catch up with him for many years.


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## GGluek

In a newsgroup of Classical fans
Though the most educated of clans
Some had ears made of tin
And so rhythmic'ly thin
They could not write a poem that scans.


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## rrudolph

GGluek said:


> In a newsgroup of Classical fans
> Though the most educated of clans
> Some had ears made of tin
> And so rhythmic'ly thin
> They could not write a poem that scans.


The accent goes on the word "up" in the last line of my limerick (if that's the one to which you're referring) with the words "won't catch" as a sort of pickup. Read this way, it does scan.


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## Vaneyes

There was a man from Lachine....


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## KenOC

Found online, evidently about Dudamel...

The opera opened with flair,
the maestro wowed everyone there,
no baton was flayed
as the orchestra played,
he led it by swinging his hair!


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## Orpheus

Queen Elizabeth said, "Johnnie Dowland
Please take up your lute for me now, and-"
He broke in, "'Tis a crime
To concoct such a Rhyme,
When my name truly rhymeth with 'Poland'!"


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## CypressWillow

OK, not about music, but still a classic:

There was a young man from Siberia
Whose motives were most ulterior:
He did to a nun
What shouldn't be done,
And now she's a Mother Superior.

First heard this in Catechism class. About the only part of the class I remember.


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## GGluek

I wasn't pointing fingers at any specific number. If you go back,you will find a lot of limericks here that don't have a clue.


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## GGluek

For Figaro's upcoming marriage
He spent the morn cleaning the carriage
Then dispatched Cherubino
To fetch him some vino
And polished it off in the garage.

(UK pronunciation required).


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## Revenant

Call him John Worthington Rane,
a countertenor profoundly insane,
he is loathsome and servile
and looks like a _gerbile_
but his singing provides us with rain.


----------



## Celloman

G. Mahler wrote Symphony Six.
It has got some pretty good licks.
That hammer can be
(Is it two, or three?)
A sound that's like smashing up bricks!


----------



## Orpheus

In order for musical thought to progress,
Said Schoenberg, no note should recieve greater stress:
But his Dodecaphony
Caused such a cacophony
We'll put up with Glass now, and think more is less.


----------



## JCarmel

Dear Mozart mused as he frequently hissed
'Oh why was I born a Perfectionist?!
With Leopold critical & always chastising
It's cos both of us have a Virgo that's Rising!
But then its Earthy sign offers me answer
Why this Aquarian Wolfie wed Capricorn Constanze!'


----------



## science

from http://www.brownielocks.com/Limericks.html:

To compose a sonata today,
Don't proceed in the old-fashioned way:
With your toes on the keys,
Bang the floor with your knees:
"Oh how modern!" the critics will say.

A long time ago an old Squire
Met a pretty young lass in a choir
And said, "Miss, can we dance?"
But she told him, "No chance;
For I fear that I'm Handel's miss, sire."

(Give it a think.)


----------



## science

So, I decided to make one: 


There was once a composer to know 
Whose name you discover below 
But if it's a cinch 
To pronounce your French 
You already guessed it's Milhaud


----------



## Ostinato

The limerick rhythm is normally duple,
A steady 6/8; but some folk have no scruple
In adding a beat to the bars;
They don't think that triple time jars.
Perhaps I will try one in compound quadruple.


----------



## GGluek

A scholar who liked Albinoni
Unearthed a new score that proved phony.
Although taken aback
He then covered his track
With a sigh and a loud "Oh, baloney!"


----------



## Orpheus

It's best not to take terms from music,
If you wish to measure a Lim'rick,
Which have feet made of three:
This one's Anapest, see? _ _ x
And this one is called Amphibrachic. _ x _ 

And if one turns the last on its head,
So that line length is reckoned instead,
Though it may seem neater
In di- or tri-meter
A limerick in tetra means more may be said.


----------



## Celloman

science said:


> So, I decided to make one:
> 
> There was once a composer to know
> Whose name you discover below
> But if it's a cinch
> To pronounce your French
> You already guessed it's Milhaud


The rhyming pattern itself teaches you how to pronounce "Milhaud". Brilliant!


----------



## Orpheus

A wild French conductor named Lully
Would wave his long stick like a bully,
But one day, he put
The thing straight through his foot
And died still lamenting his folly.


----------



## JCarmel

And died still lamenting it_ fully_, I'm saying, Orpheus....as you would do? It was _particularly_ gangrenous I believe?!


----------



## GGluek

A confession: When I was young (grade school age), and before I ever saw the word spelled out, I thought "lyric" referred to a limerick written by Edward Lear.  Really.


----------



## Celloman

I love good ol' Frederick Chopin.
I've always been quite a big fan.
His etudes are neat,
His waltzes are sweet,
He's such a spectacular man!


----------



## superhorn

Oops. I accidentally forgot the last line of this limerick :

There was a young man from Granada

who could fart the moonlight sonata.

He blew out from his *** Bach's B minor mass

and excerpts from La Traviata .


----------



## Lunasong

The Symphonie Fantastique
Tells a love story really unique.
'Cause Berlioz said
He ended up dead
With his head rolling down to our feet.


----------



## JCarmel

That's a bit grim, Lunasong?....


----------



## Lunasong

Hey...I can't rewrite it with a happy ending now, can I? Only Disney could.


----------



## mmsbls

NOTE: There were two limerick threads - this one and "Musical Limericks Thread". I have merged the two threads such that all the posts appear in this one.


----------



## JCarmel

It depends on what you define as a happy ending? People used to sit cheerily knitting as Madame La Guillotine claimed her victims. So maybe Grim is Good!


----------



## GGluek

When Salome danced with a head
Richard Strauss had an ill rep to shed
But he threw it away
When he wrote “Rosen-K”
With a scene of two women in bed.


----------



## peeyaj

There's a composer named Schubert..
who likes to eat Camembert
He farted with cheesy smell on his shirt
while having flirt with his girth


----------



## Orpheus

JCarmel said:


> And died still lamenting it_ fully_, I'm saying, Orpheus....as you would do? It was _particularly_ gangrenous I believe?!


Though you would lament it more wholly,
And I my own self-imposed folly,
We alike can both trace
That were we in his place,
Our states would be quite melancholy!

***
A radical named Shostakovich
Was denounced by a Bolshevik snitch,
But then (murmured Stalin)
"My ratings may fall in,
So I'll let him live on - as my bitch!"


----------



## GGluek

A composer of gruff singularity
A. Schoenberg eschewed popularity
"If I write with twelve notes
I will lose every vote
But my name will live on in posterity"


----------



## GGluek

Writing operas that savaged old rulers
Mussorgsky was fond of wine coolers
He was not drinking tea
When he wrote "Boris G"
And his portrait could frighten pre-schoolers.


----------



## Celloman

J. Haydn wrote all kinds of licks.
His symphonies, hundred and six.
He signed with a prince
And worked ever since.
And that's how he learned all the tricks!


----------



## GGluek

There was a young man from Aurora
Who wore a topcoat and fedora
To discover a mate
He went out on a date
With three sisters, all named Leonore.

Number Three possessed tragic ferocity
The Second was plagued with verbosity
Number One was too short
When he went there to court
So he fled with unseemly velocity.


----------



## GGluek

Although far too accomplished to fear 'em
Berlioz kept his enemies near him
But he had quite enough
When Habeneck pinched snuff
At the start of the great Tuba Mirum


----------



## mstar

Cortision said:


> There was a Composer called Handel
> To whom most cannot hold a candle
> He wrote _The Messiah_
> A great work to inspire
> If it ain't then I'll go eat my sandle


*sandal? 

But if sandle is some new, innovative delicacy, keep it the way it is. I'd rather that "sandle."


----------



## GGluek

With public demand going crazy
Then publishing ethics grew hazy
When it came to attribute
And widely distribute
New works by the dead Pergolesi


----------



## Orpheus

An inventor, by name Theremin,
Quite intended to make quite a din:
So by waving each hand
At a box on a stand,
He went on to commit Mortal Sin.


----------



## Celloman

I once went to hear _Salome_.
It was all so very risque!
When John's on the plate
She kisses his pate.
The dance? Oh, I really can't say...


----------



## GGluek

The lutenist M. Blancrocher. 
Met his fate in a most tragic way
Entertaining one night
He fell down a flight
And received a tombeau by tomber.


----------



## GGluek

Here's to you, Ludwig Ritter Von Koechel
Who closed the Mozartean circle.
But sunce nothing else rhymes
At this moment in time
Let me just mention Angela Merkel.


----------



## Ostinato

If your hearing of pitch is precise,
The bagpipes don't sound very nice.
But this is denied
By Scots full of pride,
Who think the weird tuning adds spice.


The Lord said in 1911,
When welcoming Mahler to Heaven:
"Your music's sublime,
And here folk have time
To hear your complete No. 7!"


----------



## Ingélou

Ostinato - pipe music's *sublime*;
To deny that (I think) is a crime.
Your 'weird tuning' is *art*,
Which pierces the heart
So obliquely - ahead of its time!


----------



## Vesteralen

I've fallen in up to my necky
As smitten as any dazed Trekkie
To listen is bliss
Enamored of this:
"L'Amfiparnaso" by Vecchi.


----------



## GGluek

I'll tell you a terrible story
A noble of infamous glory
Who sought certain fame
In the conquest of dames
Til he murdered Il Commendatore.


----------



## GGluek

An expert in avian lore
Messiaen said (in French) "Zut alors!
Two owls and a hen
Four larks and a wren
Have all made their nests in my score!"


----------



## Celloman

Vivaldi had blazing red hair.
It frizzled and swayed with such flair.
And then one sad day
He sat in sun's ray.
It burst into flame, the poor dear!


----------



## GGluek

Charles Ives had a fanciful notion
For earning his fans true devotion
By composing with bits
Of some popular hits
Like "Columbia, Gem of the Ocean"


----------



## Couac Addict

_Phwar! That Brunnhilde, she gives me the horn.
I mean the one on her helmet, you dirty lowborn.
My shaft will not shorten
'cause Siegfried's got nothung
on me but Wotan may mourn._


----------



## Celloman

Mozart had a strange fascination
With farting and bad constipation.
He once blew a pass
And said, "Kiss my ***."
Why does he deserve adoration?


----------



## SixFootScowl

superhorn said:


> There was a composer named Cage
> whose music was once all the rage.
> 'Twas nothing but bunk
> and it certainly stunk,
> but people still thought him a sage !


Now that's a good one.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Fsharpmajor said:


> After Superhorn:
> 
> There was a composer named Cage
> Whose music was meant to outrage.
> His best-known score
> Was one hell of a bore.
> It consisted of just one blank page.


Oh, you guys have me rolling on the floor. If I see another Cage limerick I'll probably split a gut!:lol:


----------



## Ingélou

The TC Limerick:

'Composers just do it for *money*;
*Emotions* are phoney and runny; 
If you think these are moans
Read the rants about *tones*; :scold:
Let's clamp down on *polls* - they're not funny!'


----------



## Ostinato

I marked my piece _Lento amabile_,
With the melody shown as _cantabile_.
When they played it too roughly,
I commented gruffly:
"They've ruined my _opus mirabile_!"

In slow variations, progressive
Division of notes is expressive.
In Mozart we find
Swift runs of this kind,
Though six beams is rather excessive.


----------



## Ostinato

When Haydn composed his _Creation_,
He was filled with tremendous elation;
If you listen with zeal,
You will certainly feel
The same transcendental sensation.

Not even great musical thinkers
Can avoid writing one or two stinkers.
Strong liquor dependency
Heightens this tendency;
Dross often indicates drinkers.

Some say the precise hue of C
Is different from some other key;
But when tunings can change
Over quite a wide range,
What use can this colour-sense be?

"These modern composers", roared Beecham,
"Sit smugly where people can't reach 'em.
Drag 'em onto the stage,
And let us all rage
At their dissonant tripe. That'll teach 'em!"


----------



## ahammel

There was once a composer named Glück
Who [CENSORED]


----------



## KenOC

There was a composer named Glück, who
Wrote music that sounded like muck. True,
He wrote with some skill
and tried quite hard. Still,
He had to cry out to his critics, "<censored>!"


----------



## Ingélou

Why would you want to censor the word 'Duck?'


----------



## KenOC

Ingélou said:


> Why would you want to censor the word 'Duck?'


You mean, like in

"There was a composer named Gluck
Who carnally misused a duck..."

I agree that one probably shouldn't be finished, or maybe even started. :lol: Mozart might have liked it, though.


----------



## Celloman

The pianist Glenn Gould was to play
When Lenny came out just to say,
"Though Glenn is divine
His vision's not mine.
I'll swallow my pride for today!"


----------



## Ingélou

I was crouching, quite tense, on my beanie,
When I got a kind call from my genie:
'You need sounds to relax - 
Choose Britten or Bax.'
I said, 'Thanks, but I'll take Boccherini.'


----------



## SixFootScowl

There once was a slacker named Cage
Who just couldn't earn an honest wage
And though quite aimless
He became very famous
And now is forever on history's page.


----------



## Celloman

John Cage has a whole lot of gall
For something you don't hear at all.
A pianist sits down
And silence will drown
Your ears in a very dead hall.


----------



## SixFootScowl

There are now six Cage limericks in this thread. If we keep at it, we might be able to publish a book of them.:lol:


----------



## Taggart

TallPaul said:


> There are now six Cage limericks in this thread. If we keep at it, we might be able to publish a book of them.:lol:


For this you need limericks,yet?
The man's work you forget,
Call the book four and a third,
Blank pages not a word
A festschrift even, no sweat!


----------



## Ingélou

It is never jarring or sharp;
At his music, you never need carp.
If you want rippling splendour
Or something more tender,
Seek only for :angel: Carolan's harp!


----------



## ahammel

There was a young fellow called Nono
Who took lessons from Schoenberg _pro bono_
When he offered to pay
Arnold waved it away
"But you're out if you touch that trombone-o!"


----------



## Celloman

Messiaen was a pris'ner of war.
One day, he could not take any more.
He wrote a quartet
For men cold and wet,
And played in the rain out of door.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Beethoven, a composer of late,
His hearing loss, a terrible fate.
Yet the scores he wrote,
Are perfect to the note,
And thus his music so great.


And here is a limerick triad:

The composer Beethoven was,
A remarkable man because,
His music was right,
To hear day and night,
For in it, there are no flaws.

To hear his great sound,
In the air all around,
It fills you with joy,
Every girl and boy,
And lifts you off the ground.

Oh yes! Let the music play,
That is what they'll say,
Come back for more,
Every day, every hour,
Because you like it that way.


----------



## hpowders

Persichetti wrote piano sonatas,
Which hpowders regularly monitors,
The music is kitschy,
But thankfully pithy,
Wish Bach did that with cantatas!


----------



## SixFootScowl

There was a man, Ludwig,
Who was not all that big,
But his tempi is fast,
And his music so vast,
That it cannot be surpassed.


----------



## EdwardBast

Here are two in the stupid deaths category. The first two lines I borrowed from a student who once wrote an essay for me in the form of a series of limericks:

There was a composer named Lully
Who in business was a bit of a bully
But then: a misplaced baton,
A bad infection came on,
And he died of a foot wound, most cruelly 

Despite young Scriabin's ineptness
His mystic-chord music’s infectious 
But a boil on his lip
Paid for Sasha's last trip
To the Mysterium he went via sepsis


----------



## Ingélou

Of shrewdness Lully had his ration.
Put it simply, he got in a passion.
The throne remained bare,
For the King was not there,
And his tunes were no longer in fashion;


----------



## EdwardBast

Another in the ode to penicillin series:

Robert Schumann composed to great fame
But in the end died confined and insane
For back then ‘twas no joke:
One infelicitous poke
And foul syphilis devoured ones brain


----------



## Ingélou

Woman takes her reluctant Date to a Concert of Early Music

'This evening's spoilt & done;
This music ain't no fun.
Hildegard? Who's she?
What can she be?
Can you give me an answer?'

'Nun!'


----------



## SixFootScowl

Ludwig Beethoven, van,
A musically brilliant man,
To princes he said,
Your nothing but bred,
But Beethoven truely is von.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Beethoven was a curious fellow,
Whose music was not always mellow.
He grabbed fate by the throat, 
Rearranged it note for note, 
A triumphant sound did follow.


----------



## SixFootScowl

There was a fine lady, Leonora,
Who endured a most terrible hour.
Her courage having arisen,
She went into the prison,
And triumphed over evil's power.


----------



## Ostinato

When Bach wrote a wonderful chord
To be sung to the words: "Praise the Lord",
You could hear a faint sound
Waft down to the ground -
It was God, who was moved to applaud.

There was a distinguished arranger
Who planned to adapt Percy Grainger
For some West End show,
But Percy said "No -
Just jazz up _Away in a Manger_".


----------



## millionrainbows

While listening to some Richard Strauss
I thought to myself, "What a louse!
He's just a buffoon!
This guy can't write a tune!
He lives up to his name:
Reek hard, Strauss!"


----------



## SixFootScowl

There was a man named Cage
Who thought he could gauge
a piece he thinks he wrote
without even a musical note
as having some space
but in truth was a waste

I may not be a poet, but oh how I love to abuse John Cage :lol:


----------



## elgar's ghost

Franz Schubert was taking his time
With a symphony simply sublime
But as the work was unfinished
His interest diminished
And.................................


----------



## Ingélou

The violist William Lawes
Fully merited royal applause;
Yet it was his sad lot
To be 'casually shot'
By a roundhead in England's vile wars.


----------



## Ingélou

Queen Elizabeth said, 'Master Byrd,
Approach, and I'll have a quick word.
Your religion is fraught, 
But please serve at my court,
For your music's the best I have heard.'


----------



## EdwardBast

elgars ghost said:


> Franz Schubert was taking his time
> With a symphony simply sublime
> But as the work was unfinished
> His interest diminished
> And.................................


A variation on your theme:

Franz Schubert was taking his time
With a symphony simply divine
But his interest diminished 
So the piece stands unfinished … 
But I still have to end with a rhyme


----------



## ptr

Florestan said:


> I may not be a poet, but oh how I love to abuse John Cage :lol:


It ids a poor form of Cage abuse when the Limerick do not mention something negative about mycology... :kiss:

/ptr


----------



## KenOC

ptr said:


> It ids a poor form of Cage abuse when the Limerick do not mention something negative about mycology... :kiss:
> 
> /ptr


John Cage had a thing for mycology
A result of peculiar psychology
He'd wolf down his 'shrooms
While inventing his tunes
And cry out foul words of scatology.


----------



## SixFootScowl

KenOC said:


> John Cage had a thing for mycology
> A result of peculiar psychology
> He'd wolf down his 'shrooms
> While inventing his tunes
> And cry out foul words of scatology.


----------



## Fsharpmajor

All the greatest composers don't shirk.
Even Mozart was once a young Turk.
But as for John Cage
And his score's noteless page,
That isn't an honest day's work.


----------



## Ingélou

Hail, poor Jeremiah Clarke - 
Your trumpet music has spark;
But, your heart being torn
By a lady high-born,
You left the Light for the Dark.


----------



## MagneticGhost

Limerick for Elgar

There's a damn fine composer called Ed.
Who wrote in the time of King Ted.
Some say he's a cad
Only King and Country by gad
Let's put this nonsense to bed


----------



## millionrainbows

There was a a vehement Cage-hater
Who just sat there while eating a 'tater
The modernists pled,
"Please don't answer his threads!
It's obvious he's just a baiter!"


----------



## millionrainbows

Cage said "I'm sick of this griping
'Bout how all of my stuff sounds like typing!
But I won't be scared
My piano's prepared
All my music needs now is some hyping!"


----------



## millionrainbows

Cage hung some sheet metal and beat
It made a great noise, indiscreet
It made such a clamour
We were not enamored
When pressed, we said "That sounds like sheet!"


----------



## millionrainbows

Some earlier ones I posted on STI.

There once was a fellow named Ludwig
Who purchased at market a good pig
The hoofer inspired him
And he started writing
His Symphony known as the "Swinth" 

There once was a German named Arnold
Who, increasingly tired of that darn old
Hierarchy called tonal
Wrote music atonal
We stored it outside, growing barn mold. 

There once was a dude name'o Bach
Who churned out great reams of this schlock
Or so thought the Church
Now we're left in the lurch
Cause they used it to clean out their wok! 

There was a young composer from Mittersill
Who stared out all day through his window sill
The mountainous peaks
Inspired melodic squeaks
And the legacy is: we all jitter, still. 

There was a composer named Igor
Who needed some tunes for the dance floor
"I've got it! I'll write
This here ditty called 'Rite'
And start with F sharp on C major!" 

A modern named Cage sipped his tea
And said "I will write (for a fee)
The most silent of works
Now pay me, you jerks!
And give me my $4.33!" 

A composer we call Milton Babbitt
Saw a tone row run by, so he grabbed it
By both ears, on its head
Played it backwards instead
And had more fun than chasing those wabbits.


----------



## Albert7

There was a dude named Feldman
Who composed longer than Danny Elfman.
Apparently the string quartet
Became a fete of a sextet
Because it didn't go well with Telemann.


----------



## Albert7

I met a gal whose name was Anne Clyne
Apparently her works the Proms did not decline.
Electroacoustic mixed up with strings
With additional elements from other things.
No doubt that we could play her on an incline.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

There once was a fellow named Bach,
Who said one fine Saturday, "Hark - 
These tunes are sublime,
But one at a time?
I'll play both at once for a lark."


----------



## Albert7

There once was a dude named Moszkowski
Who was buddies with another guy named Tchiakovsky
Apparently it wasn't a rivalry
Like American Idol mixed with chivalry
That the Russian calvary got renamed to Kabalevsky.


----------



## EdwardBast

I must correct an unforgivable breach of decorum. How can one have a collection of limericks with no mention of everyone's favorite Massachusetts town? 

Tchaikovksy made a splash in Nantucket 
With his Fourth and its tunes by the bucket
But the strings were bemused
(Though the winds were enthused)
By the scherzo: "No bowing? Oh, pluck it!"


----------



## manyene

Also transferred from STI:

There was a composer called Lully
Whose monarch regarded him coolly
One day as he sat working
He was told he was shirking 
And replied, 'You are rather a bully'

And a new one:

There once was a tunesmith called Kurt
Who stepped in a huge pile of dirt
They said with a smile
'He sure smells a bit Weill',
But he left without saying a _Word._


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Talk Classical seemed an oasis
A place for some witty ekphrasis 
So I joined up to learn
But learnt in my turn
That harmony wasn't its basis...


I'm taking a break from TC now. I'll think about whether I will return later.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

T-V


----------



## Blancrocher

TurnaboutVox said:


> Talk Classical seemed an oasis
> A place for some witty ekphrasis
> So I joined up to learn
> But learnt in my turn
> That harmony wasn't its basis...
> 
> I'm taking a break from TC now. I'll think about whether I will return later.
> 
> So long, and thanks for all the fish.
> 
> T-V


It's true that Talk Classical has friction
Despite the mods' attempts at restriction,
But even in schisms
There are interesting rhythms-
And anyways harmony's a fiction.

Hope to see you again before too long, TurnaboutVox.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> It's true that Talk Classical has friction
> Despite the mods' attempts at restriction,
> But even in schisms
> There are interesting rhythms-
> And anyways harmony's a fiction.
> 
> Hope to see you again before too long, TurnaboutVox.


Though your sentiment's certainly right
I'm not presently up for the fight
Like Manny Pacquaio
With a break from the fray-o
I may return bushy and bright!


----------



## Blancrocher

I'll revive the single malt thread and keep it warm in the expectation of your return, TV.

For though I generally find
That music helps me unwind, 
Music discussion 
Can cause a concussion, 
Unless one drinks oneself blind.


----------



## millionrainbows

If you really need something to do,
Try Feldman's Quartet No. 2.
It lasts for six hours
You'll need lots of power
And maybe a catheter, too!


----------



## millionrainbows

I thought that it might be too rishkey
To insert thish here CD dishkey
The problem, you shee
Ish I have to pee
After guzzling this shingle-malt whishkey.


----------



## Celloman

The voting on TC is hacked.
My Stockhausen keeps getting jacked.
Whenever I post
I vote him the most,
Then wake up to find he was sacked!


----------



## millionrainbows

Those polls on TC are just so-so;
Don't worry your cute little po-po;
'Cause being a modern
Is rare, and much odder'n
Music of the "status quo."

They like polls because it yields data
Which they can peruse over later
To sell you a disc
Without taking a risk
Or in blogs made by modernist haters.

More underwater Cowbell! -Vinko Globokar


----------



## hpowders

I was gulping a bagel and lox
while transferring gold to Ft. Knox
I started to peruse
Some really bad news
No longer will I read TurnaboutVox.


----------



## shangoyal

Mozart composed forty one
Beethoven one less than ten
Those are symphonies, not limericks
And yes, one hundred and six
Flowed from Papa Haydn's pen.


----------



## clara s

TurnaboutVox said:


> Talk Classical seemed an oasis
> A place for some witty ekphrasis
> So I joined up to learn
> But learnt in my turn
> That harmony wasn't its basis...
> 
> I'm taking a break from TC now. I'll think about whether I will return later.
> 
> So long, and thanks for all the fish.
> 
> T-V


so, oasis was really for you an abyssos,
although you thought it would be paradisos,
but if you search deeply in your spirit
and overcome any human limit,
then... the battle between oasis and abyssos, would not be anissos


----------



## millionrainbows

I'm accepting this shiny new Grammy
For Pierre Boulez. And his mammy
Who must really be proud
Of this banging so loud
So I'll just say, "Bon jour, mon ami!"


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

purple99 said:


> There's one about Bach practicing on a spinster (a sphincter in some versions) in the attic but it can't be repeated on a family forum.


...Is it bad that I'm interested to find out what it is?


----------



## adrien

They say about Gyorgi Ligeti
his music resembles spaghetti
if it you must read
your chance to succeed
will improve if you make it confetti


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## Mahlerite555

There was a composer named Cage,
tired of the age,
so he shat on the page,
forced it onto the stage,
then had the nerve to ask for a wage.


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## Totenfeier

All hail to the King, Gustav Mahler!
A pity that he wasn't taller;
But to listen, on hold,
To his symphonies bold,
Would excite the most frustrated caller.


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## adrien

Dmitry Dmitrievich Shostakovich
his opera dead in shallow ditch
no matter its fame
when Stalin he came
and proved himself son of a ho bitch


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## SixFootScowl

There once was a composer named Mahler
Whose symphonies frequently did holler
But the ninth one his fear
Would bring his death near
For he was a superstitious feller.


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## Pat Fairlea

On the subject of Benjamin Britten,
Far too much has already been written.
'The Turn of the Screw'
May not do it for you
But Peter was obviously smitten.


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## SixFootScowl

Bringing this up to the top for the benefit of all our new members over the past 18 months, many of whom may have talent in the limerick department.


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## Heck148

There was a young man from Grenada
Who could fart the Moonlight Sonata
He blew out his a*s
Bach's b minor Mass,
And highlights from La Traviata!!


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## Pat Fairlea

While Chopin was writing his Preludes
The rain tippled down in a deluge.
He said "This in D-Flat
Sounds rather like that - 
Opus 28 really will sell huge!"


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## christomacin

The great Nordic master Sibelius
with old Finnish myths he regaled us
Embarking on an Eighth
He soon found he'd lost faith
Yet, who would say that he failed us?

Raise a glass to Sir Arnold Bax
Of Erin and Celts he did wax
He wrote of Tintagel
and of wild Irravel
The structure, though, often was lax


Miss Smithson did Hector behold
A bonny lass was she, but cold
He loved her quite madly
Though all turned out badly
In symphonic fantasy told


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## Phil loves classical

Long ago, lived jealous Gesualdo,
Who, hearing some grunts and a high “Oh!”
Had them cut up with a knife:
This other dude with HIS wife...
And lived to write in form concerto


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## KenOC

Joe Haydn of Joseph Kraus said
"His symphony's got concert cred!"
But Kraus answered not
Franz Joseph's _bon mot_
Since he, just like Mozart, was dead.


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