# Viola Jokes



## PostMinimalist (May 14, 2008)

I never knew there were sooooo many!

http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html

Enjoy!


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## Lang (Sep 30, 2008)

Couldn't be bothered to read beyond the first page, so I don't know if my favourite viola player joke is there. 

"What is the difference between a viola player and a seamstress?

The seamstress tucks up the frills."


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## World Violist (May 31, 2007)

Ugh, I knew somebody had to come up with this thread... I'm shocked that nobody seems to have until now. Or thankful.


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## nefigah (Aug 23, 2008)

Hmm, most of these are pretty generic (you can substitute in lawyers, blondes, or anything else you choose). Not all of them though; I thought this was somewhat funny:


> What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
> Everyone is happy when the case is closed.


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## Lang (Sep 30, 2008)

World Violist said:


> Ugh, I knew somebody had to come up with this thread... I'm shocked that nobody seems to have until now. Or thankful.


Yes, sorry to contribute. I don't know why it's the poor violists who get it in the neck. Now if it was *singers*, I could understand it.


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## mueske (Jan 14, 2009)

> What's the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
> half a measure
> a semi-tone


I lol'd!



> How do you transcribe a violin piece for viola?
> Divide the metronome marking by 2.


This one's great too!



> Was sind die drei Lagen auf der Bratsche?
> Erste Lage, Notlage, und Niederlage.


Best one on the page!


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