# In your experience, do people change much throughout their lives?



## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

I'm curious to know some of the older member's takes on the question in the thread title. Do we change much throughout our lives? I'm lead to believe that there is an essential core that remains the same, but depending on the circumstances, certain changeable factors can vary dramatically. That's what I'd like to think. One older person I know tells me that there is a good chance I'll be happier once I'm in my later 20s, and to put that in context, he means that specifically, there is some key neurological and emotional growth to be done between now and then. This is a good thing to think. But is it true?


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

From a perspective of an "older" member (a senior citizen in actuality) my "core" has remained the same - that is my love of and appreciation, and the playing of classical music. One of the goals of retiring from the mainstream 40 hour work week almost 6 years ago was to be more active composing music for organ, which is still on my bucket list of things to do. 

I also tend to think about how I would have done things differently if I had the chance to do them all over again ... more hindsight than anything I suppose, coupled with the present knowledge of how things actually turned out, something that I could not foresee when I was younger. 

As for being happier ... yes ... and ... no! I'm happy to have accomplished the things and places I've been, the fantastic organs I've been fortunate enough to have played and my personal life as well. Sadness about not being able to do the things I could do when I was much younger ... the mind is willing but the ol' body says nope, you ain't gonna do that any more! 

Someone said to me that life slows down in retirement years ... imo, they lied to me ... I'm busier now than I ever was working two jobs (one full time, one part time) at anytime before in my life. So, enjoy your youthful years (that is, anything under 45 years of age in my opinion) while you can. 

No regrets with life in general at the moment ... I'm happily married, we have 3 grown sons, 2 cars in the garage (paid for) and a wonderful home, and a mortgage to pay. 

Kh


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## HarpsichordConcerto (Jan 1, 2010)

clavichorder said:


> I'm curious to know some of the older member's takes on the question in the thread title. Do we change much throughout our lives? I'm lead to believe that there is an essential core that remains the same, but depending on the circumstances, certain changeable factors can vary dramatically. That's what I'd like to think. One older person I know tells me that there is a good chance I'll be happier once I'm in my later 20s, and to put that in context, he means that specifically, there is some key neurological and emotional growth to be done between now and then. This is a good thing to think. But is it true?


Yes, you will change and love Baroque and Classical music even more! It is an exciting journey to look forward to and enjoy!


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

clavichorder said:


> I'm curious to know some of the older member's takes on the question in the thread title. Do we change much throughout our lives? I'm lead to believe that there is an essential core that remains the same, but depending on the circumstances, certain changeable factors can vary dramatically. That's what I'd like to think. One older person I know tells me that there is a good chance I'll be happier once I'm in my later 20s, and to put that in context, he means that specifically, there is some key neurological and emotional growth to be done between now and then. This is a good thing to think. But is it true?


There is some neurological 'trimming' going on until the mid-twenties. There may even be some fine adjustments to hormonal balances. Maybe that's what the 'older person' is referring to. In my own experience, starting around 30 I very gradually reduced the 'flow' of stupid actions, and (even more slowly) increased my understanding and appreciation of my surroundings, including the people. This experience may well not be typical; many people do better, I hope.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

I imagine early 20s are the time when most people undergo the most dramatic change, because it's a time in life when (if you care about that stuff) you're really starting to explore ideas about the world and are getting exposed to all sorts of information. Plus, personal relationships begin/change/end - it's generally a transformative period. I'd certainly say that you should continue hoping for greater happiness in the next few years. Although there are no doubt certain things about me that have remained constant, I really feel like I have fundamentally become a 'different' person in the years between 17 and 21.

I reckon that many things like religious affiliation, career ambitions, aesthetic tastes etc. are all just bells and whistles that can be subject to dramatic change, but underlying everything are attributes that are more constant, such as pain thresholds, happiness levels, mental stability etc. In that sense, you are always the same person, but you always have the opportunity to reforge your identity.


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## Dodecaplex (Oct 14, 2011)

"The art of progress is to preserve order amid change, and to preserve change amid order."

-- A. N. Whitehead


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Spare change, spare change.

View attachment 3070


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

I think people do change, but the rate of that change depends on the individual. Generally, the thing people are most resistant to is change - in anything you mention, from learning, to work, to family, human relationships of all kinds, & also music as we well know! I think you can't literally stay in the same spot, stay the same as you are now, it's impossible. It's the rate of change and how we adapt to it is what changes in a way, and that has potential to change us. 

Most people in my experience have some degree of flexibility and openess. I heard the saying is that the best friends are those that challenge our opinions to make us kind of better. To improve us. Same goes with anything. We can resist change outright, but it will creep up on us in time and in that negative way can bite us in the backside. But if we take on what change we can - not all or nothing, just what we are capable of, build on that - I think that's the best way. It's all a work in progress, that's what life is...


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

And don't forget about the well-observed fact that older people, particularly pensioners, are less inhibited than in their youth. Just make sure you remember as well that it's not because of any new insights about the world, it's because of the neurological deterioration! :tiphat:


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

Hmm, neurological deterioration as opposed to senior citizen ... kinda has a nice ring to it ... :lol:


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

Polednice said:


> And don't forget about the well-observed fact that older people, particularly pensioners, are less inhibited than in their youth. Just make sure you remember as well that it's not because of any new insights about the world, it's because of the neurological deterioration! :tiphat:


No it's not, it's because we don't give a f.... and we've seen it all before!


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

I turn 50 this year and in some ways I'm the same as always, but I've noticed some major changes too. I went through quite a bit of inner turmoil in my mid 30s concerning my religious beliefs. I finally got over it and settled on agnosticism. I was pretty much apolitical and uninterested in world affairs in my 20s. I was also more conservative, and not a very critical thinker. I bloomed kind of late intellectually. Now I'm an unbelieving, skeptical old cynic! I'm not happy or sad. It's just kind of an even keel. I've pretty much accepted my lot in life which is to be a working stiff until I drop. I've got my music, my friends, and my long time girlfriend, so that's enough.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

moody said:


> No it's not, it's because we don't give a f.... and we've seen it all before!


That's your decaying brain talking!


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

From dirt, to dirt, the body and all its parts.


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## Yoshi (Jul 15, 2009)

I know I did.


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

The years go by and I feel the same and dress the same and play better and better,...works for me.


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

Yes of course you do because you are the sum of you experience. But the real you still peeks out and never really changes.


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

moody said:


> Yes of course you do because you are the sum of you experience. But the real you still peeks out and never really changes.


Well, I think there is room to change 'the real you' for awhile. Maybe it depends on how messed up you are when the effort begins. Or how wonderful you are (in your own estimation). The extremes may be more 'subject to change'.


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

Polednice said:


> That's your decaying brain talking!


I think it has come on since I got involved with this lot---whoever you are.


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