# When to put your instrument away for good?



## Gordontrek

A moderator may move this if it's not in the right forum; at the moment it seems the appropriate place.

You may or may not know that I've struggled with focal dystonia for over two years now. To be specific, I suffer from embouchure dystonia, which seriously hampers my ability to play the trumpet. My symptoms first appeared right at the beginning of 2015, and in July of that year I received the medical diagnosis. 
For those of you not familiar with the condition here's a brief overview: https://www.dystonia-foundation.org/images/uploads/DMRF_Musicians_Dystonia_Fact_Sheet.pdf

Anyway, once I started college the following August, I made tremendous progress. I soon returned to orchestral playing and managed to pass a jury with a high score. Things were going pretty well until last semester. It was like I hit a ceiling. I simply couldn't progress beyond a certain point. Now, it seems like I'm digressing. My performance in orchestral and wind ensemble settings is suffering. It's led to several embarrassing moments where I simply don't have the physical capacity to play something simple yet important. My practicing is consistent. But I'm swiftly losing motivation to practice because playing the simplest things is becoming more and more of a struggle. 
It's as if my dystonia is back in full swing, nearly as bad as it was when I was first diagnosed. No amount of practicing seems to yield any improvement. I am now considering whether I should throw in the towel and put my trumpet away for good.

I would love to hear your thoughts on how one might proceed in this situation, especially if you study or have studied an instrument at the university level. There is one possible alternative to trumpet- I'm a decent pianist, and with practice I'm confident I could polish my skills enough to change my focus to piano for the remainder of my studies. I would miss trumpet tremendously, though. It was my dream instrument from a very young age.
I'm not looking to validate any opinions. If you think you would quit, tell me so, and if not, tell me so. TIA.


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## Krummhorn

If you still enjoy playing the trumpet you should continue ... if only for your own self perseverance. It's obviously an instrument that you enjoy playing albeit no longer as a performer in a professional group. 

I've known of church organists who, due to age and dexterity issues, have chosen to give up playing for services but continue to practice because they enjoy it. The organist I replaced at my church decided to leave on a "high" note, rather than be forced to stop because they could no longer adapt to the rigors and changes ever so present in service playing. 

I was the accompanist for a professional trumpet player (who had a PhD in trumpet and was a professor at the university level for so many years) and I witnessed his decrease in playing abilities over the later years of his life. The last time we played together was a wonderful experience and it turned out to be the last time he ever played in public as he declined in health. He passed away shortly after that last performance at age 88.

Sounds though that you have a keen interest in piano and that's great too ... at least you are continuing you quest as being a musician. And if playing the piano makes you happy then all the better. 

Kh


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## Vasks

I can't speak to your medical condition and I can't tell you whether to ditch the trumpet. But I do like that you have some piano "chops" and could fall back on that.

Back when I was a senior in college, a wisdom tooth grew out the side of my gum. It forced me to play incorrectly in order to get high notes and maintain endurance. Once a few months later when I could pay for that tooth to be pulled it then took years at going back to basic simple playing to get some semblance of a normal embouchure. But eventually I got to a level where I felt good about my playing. So maybe you'll get "there" again.

As for Krumm's story of the aging trumpeter; that's me now. Only I am just 66. But the physical deterioration of playing my trumpet is way too obvious for me. It takes longer to stay in shape and nothing no longer is as it was in my prime. I have to play lead in the dance band I also direct so I must keep playing. But in addition to having to work harder just to keep at my current level I have discovered that I'd rather use my time to compose rather than practice. So now I do just the minimum practice per week to get through a weekly rehearsal and any performance but otherwise finding practice more of a nuisance than a pleasurable pursuit.


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## Heck148

Gordontrek said:


> You may or may not know that I've struggled with focal dystonia for over two years now. To be specific, I suffer from embouchure dystonia, which seriously hampers my ability to play the trumpet. My symptoms first appeared right at the beginning of 2015, and in July of that year I received the medical diagnosis.


Focal dystonia can be a severe condition, that has affected some very prominent musicians - treatment and therapy have come a long way - most commonly it was known for those whose dystonia affects the hands and fingers. pianists Gary Graffman, Leon Fleisher and oboist Alex Klein have all suffered from this condition. Klein, had to step down as CSO principal oboist due to focal dystonia, but after some years of therapy, he has regained his position, most remarkable!!....Fleisher and Graffman, not so lucky...
I've not heard of dystonia affecting the embouchure, tho there are many, many cases of brass players "losing their chops". I don't remember the cause ever being specifically identified, so dystonia could certainly be the culprit. 
I knew two guys personally who suffered this condition - one, a trombonist, lost it while in the Marine Band - he said constant loud playing, with no warm-up, was the cause....one day, it just wasn't there. he did regain his lip, thru careful re-conditioning, and study...basically starting from scratch, and re-building. he was successful and played in a major orchestra for years. the other, a horn player - also lost his chops in the service bands...again, constant loud playing, no warm-up. TMK he never regained it...I've long since lost track of him...but at the time, he was in rough shape.

As I said, diagnosis and therapy have come a long way - perhaps you could investigate with some specialists to find out exactly what's happening, and why you are having trouble. It may be readily fixable with the right treatment. It's certainly worth pursuing if you love playing the trumpet.


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## Bettina

Perhaps you should consult a physical therapist for help. You might have some damaging habits that are exacerbating the problem. These habits might involve the way in which you hold your jaw and tongue while speaking, swallowing, and of course playing the trumpet. A physical therapist could watch you do a range of activities with the relevant muscles (including but not limited to trumpet playing), to help you pinpoint certain habits that might need to be retrained. Hopefully this could help...good luck with everything and I hope things improve soon!


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## Ingélou

What a horrible decision. 
If it were me, I would bite the bullet and move on to piano - if you are sure you have had all the medical help that you can, and it isn't improving. 
It will be sad, but if the piano goes well for you, in a few years' time your regrets may simmer down to the 'fond memory' level. 
Good luck with your life in music, whatever your decision.


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## eugeneonagain

This is a sad thread in many ways. It's terrible having to make a decision like this and seems to be more common among brass players; I know because I also stopped playing the trumpet/flugel because of failing ability. It's even worse when after some years and being well out of practice, you think you might have another go and just trying it makes you feel you never even learned or played before.

I initially went the brass route because I wasn't a good enough pianist, but now piano is the only instrument I play (apart from a bit of drums) and I have to be satisfied that I have that. At least it gives me a reason to practice.

I hope there is a chance for you to recover your trumpet skill, but having piano is better than nothing at all.


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## Gordontrek

A lot of you gave me some very helpful advice when I originally started this; I thought I owed it to you to give an update. 
My condition has not improved- I still struggle mightily to play even simple repertoire without being racked with involuntary movement. I have made the decision to hang it up- but unfortunately that can't happen for a while.
Due to the policies of my university's degree program, I cannot switch my primary instrument to piano unless I'm willing to stay at college for at least two more years. I'm already pretty burned out as many students are, and I have no desire to prolong my studies any longer than I have to. So, I have to stick it out with the trumpet until I graduate. After that, however, I have decided that I will most likely stop playing for good. As of right now, I feel that I don't play anywhere near where a college-level trumpet player should. Unless my condition somehow miraculously improves, I am not going to even try to hack it in the professional world like this. The only reason I'm able to keep playing trumpet in college is because I have professors that are very sensitive and understanding of my condition, perhaps to a fault, and also because I can usually manage to dredge a decent performance out of myself when juries roll around. But doing so is hellishly difficult. I get no enjoyment out of playing anymore; I think that when I no longer enjoy something musical that's a good sign that it's time to move on.
Maybe by some act of God I will regain my ability and start enjoying playing again. But that is a long, unlikely hope. After undergrad, I plan to wash my hands of this instrument and put all my energies into my lifelong dream, conducting. But first, I have to somehow get through a recital and keep the train on the rails.
Thanks again to all of you who've contributed to this, it means a lot.


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## bharbeke

More school may sound bad, but if it is better for your health and your passion for music, it might be worth it. The number one priority is not inflicting any lasting damage on your body from the trumpet playing.


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## Capeditiea

as a suggestion if i was in your situation.

Don't put it away perminantly, start teaching the next generation. Even if it is one student, the student will learn to appretiate the trumpet. (your usage of the trumpet would only consist of examples for the beginning lessons. (which if you are feeling horrible on one of those days have certain recordings of the pieces...) 

Plus to fill in the void of playing with an orchestra... practicing the piano would be a benefit. never hurts to know more than one instrument. 

The piano is easy... so it wouldn't take too long. Maybe a year or two to be proficient enough... depending on how much practice per day you would do.


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## malc

The piano is not easy to play in orchestras as there is not as much demand as for brass and strings etc.. i took up the cornet to experience orchestra work , as nobody would look twice at a guitar player !
It would be interesting if teaching appeals , as one can get in the back door and conduct in that situation.


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