# Advice on finding female friends



## Albert7

As people may know, I am separated from my wife and right now am living away from her.

So I have been focused on finding female friends. Any advice on where to start? I don't plan on dating until a divorce is final but it would be good to meet ladies for being friends. I haven't dated in years and my only friends are my stepdad, my daughter, my roommate and a few guys.

Thanks for your help in this matter.


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## SarahNorthman

Personally I find it's not much different than making friends with men. I say just be yourself! Find someone you have some sort of common interests with. I swear I'm not giving dating advice  Just walk up to them, or for the purposes of this forum just message them! We won't bite! I swear!


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## Morimur

Wear a helmet.
************


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## SeptimalTritone

Talk to the chicks at that Utah symphony place you go to. You'll know so much more about music than them (since you hang out on TalkClassical) so you can impress them with ur streed cred. Then ask them out to lunch on the weekend.

Or just get an okcupid account  I've actually gotten a few dates on okcupid in the past. Nothing that led beyond the first date, but it may be easier for older guys.

Or... since you're into Buddhism, go to a Buddhist temple. It's mainly for the older crew, but you could probably find a few 30-something year old chicks there.

Good luck, bro.


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## SarahNorthman

Steer cred hahahahaha!


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## SeptimalTritone

Oh geez we both misspelled street cred...


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## Albert7

SeptimalTritone said:


> Talk to the chicks at that Utah symphony place you go to. You'll know so much more about music than them (since you hang out on TalkClassical) so you can impress them with ur streed cred. Then ask them out to lunch on the weekend.
> 
> Or just get an okcupid account  I've actually gotten a few dates on okcupid in the past. Nothing that led beyond the first date, but it may be easier for older guys.
> 
> Or... since you're into Buddhism, go to a Buddhist temple. It's mainly for the older crew, but you could probably find a few 30-something year old chicks there.
> 
> Good luck, bro.


Thanks dude. You da man.

I will follow your advice for sure.


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## SarahNorthman

SeptimalTritone said:


> Oh geez we both misspelled street cred...


Oh lord! I spelled the whole thing wrong!


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## Figleaf

SeptimalTritone said:


> Talk to the chicks at that Utah symphony place you go to. You'll know so much more about music than them (since you hang out on TalkClassical) so you can impress them with ur streed cred. Then ask them out to lunch on the weekend.
> 
> Or just get an okcupid account  I've actually gotten a few dates on okcupid in the past. Nothing that led beyond the first date, but it may be easier for older guys.
> 
> Or... since you're into Buddhism, go to a Buddhist temple. It's mainly for the older crew, but you could probably find a few 30-something year old chicks there.
> 
> Good luck, bro.


In my experience (UK based but probably similar) men over 30 are in great demand on dating sites and tend to have their pick of single women, often choosing women much younger than themselves. I personally found internet dating a dispiriting experience, but then I was a 29-30 year old single mother with no job at that time, so my market value was close to zero even though I was still skinny and good looking then. For a man, I imagine internet dating would offer an ego boost in the short term. The only trouble is that you tend to meet very mainstream people that way: in the words of an attractive, intellectual older man I know who gave up internet dating in his mid sixties, 'I was tired of meeting banal people who would just think I was a weirdo'. So in the long term, it's best to find places where you meet like minded people. The Utah symphony sounds promising.


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## MagneticGhost

Figleaf said:


> I was still [good looking] then


We've all seen your profile pic - I would say you've still got it :tiphat:


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## Ukko

Well, if you are a chick magnet like I am (see my profile photo), a trip to the supermarket combined with eye contact will suffice.


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## Morimur

Ukko said:


> Well, if you are a chick magnet like I am (see my profile photo), a trip to the supermarket combined with eye contact will suffice.


No offense, Ukko, but that photo makes you look like you just got rid of a body.


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## Morimur

SarahNorthman said:


> Oh lord! I spelled the whole thing wrong!


Lay off the meth, sister.


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## Figleaf

MagneticGhost said:


> We've all seen your profile pic - I would say you've still got it :tiphat:


Aww thanks, Magnetic! It's amazing the flattering effects you can achieve with a really low res camera on a cheap tablet.

Let's hope the guy I'm meeting for the first time tomorrow thinks I've still got it...


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## Figleaf

Morimur said:


> Lay off the meth, sister.


Yep, we're all going to take your advice on how to talk to the opposite sex. :devil: :lol:


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## Guest

Morimur said:


> Lay off the meth, sister.


Where I come from, that's just called "Dutch courage."


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## Dim7

SarahNorthman said:


> We won't bite!


This runs contrary to all my experiences in interacting with the opposite gender.

As for advice, I've already said it but I'll say it again: you should use your skills in dada poetry, preferably right in the beginning of the conversation (without any explanation).


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## Guest

Dim7 said:


> As for advice, I've already said it but I'll say it again: you should use your skills in dada poetry, preferably right in the beginning of the conversation (without any explanation).


Really? If memory serves, I found coherence to be popular.


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## Morimur

I don't condone this method but one cannot deny its effective short-term practicality...


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## Dim7

dogen said:


> Really? If memory serves, I found coherence to be popular.


For STIs, endless incoherency can get a bit tiring but for pickup lines, mystery is the key.


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## brotagonist

Just put an ad in a dating/friendship site. There, you will encounter a pool of _filles_ looking for what you're looking for.


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## SarahNorthman

Morimur said:


> Lay off the meth, sister.


Thanks for the ever so unhelpful advice but judging by your profile picture I could say the same.


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## SarahNorthman

dogen said:


> Where I come from, that's just called "Dutch courage."


This is a new one. Explain?


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## Figleaf

Dim7 said:


> For STIs, endless incoherency can get a bit tiring but for pickup lines, mystery is the key.


Probably best not to mention STIs in your pickup lines either.


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## Guest

SarahNorthman said:


> This is a new one. Explain?


The courage that comes from inebriation.

Another one (?) for you: beer goggles.


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## Figleaf

dogen said:


> The courage that comes from inebriation.


Got to love how we call it 'Dutch' courage as if people from the Netherlands were a bunch of lager louts, while we Brits are models of sobriety and decorum!


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## Morimur

Figleaf said:


> Got to love how we call it 'Dutch' courage as if people from the Netherlands were a bunch of lager louts, while we Brits are models of sobriety and decorum!


I don't know about the Dutch being lager louts but when I went to 'Dutch-land', they all looked like this...


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## SarahNorthman

dogen said:


> The courage that comes from inebriation.
> 
> Another one (?) for you: beer goggles.


Ah I've heard beer goggles.


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## Kivimees

This thread is improving my English more than my ability to "pick up chicks".


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## MagneticGhost

Figleaf said:


> Aww thanks, Magnetic! It's amazing the flattering effects you can achieve with a really low res camera on a cheap tablet.
> 
> Let's hope the guy I'm meeting for the first time tomorrow thinks I've still got it...


More pertinently - let's hope you think he's still got it. :lol:

Good luck with your date - hope you have a lovely time


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## Figleaf

MagneticGhost said:


> More pertinently - let's hope you think he's still got it. :lol:
> 
> Good luck with your date - hope you have a lovely time


Thanks! I'm pretty sure he's still got it.  Trouble is, I'm not sure that it's a date as such. He's very gentlemanly and a little shy (and hopefully not reading this!) and while I like that in a man, it can be difficult to know if such gentlemanly types are interested romantically or not. Assuming the day is successful, I need to be able to signal my interest strongly enough that he's aware of it, yet not so strongly as to invite a rejection so humiliating that I will cringe at the memory of it for years to come.  One would have thought that this stuff would get easier with age, but apparently it doesn't, at least for someone as terminally clueless as me!

Sorry for the thread hijacking. Perhaps this has some relevance to Albert's situation in illustrating that women can also find it difficult: sometimes in dating situations it can seem like the other gender has all the power.


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## clavichorder

Man, I have no problem making women friends. Its the dating that's difficult.


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## Guest

Hey Figleaf I AM reading this! Small world eh?

And to put your mind at rest: the answer's Yes.


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## Guest

clavichorder said:


> Man, I have no problem making women friends. Its the dating that's difficult.


Meh, it's overrated. Better to have a good mug of tea. (Earl Grey, obviously)


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## Figleaf

dogen said:


> Hey Figleaf I AM reading this! Small world eh?
> 
> And to put your mind at rest: the answer's Yes.


Now we just have to break the news to Mrs dogen! :devil: :lol:


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## Guest

Figleaf said:


> Now we just have to break the news to Mrs dogen! :devil: :lol:


Well she went 20 years ago!


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## Guest

Aren't you supposed to be on a date now????


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## Figleaf

dogen said:


> Aren't you supposed to be on a date now????


Who, Albert? If he's got a date on a Thursday evening he probably doesn't need our advice!


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## Guest

Figleaf said:


> Who, Albert? If he's got a date on a Thursday evening he probably doesn't need our advice!


No, you!..........or tomorrow...ok maybe I missed that detail...


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## Figleaf

dogen said:


> No, you!..........


Nope, tomorrow lunchtime! And if I'm still hanging out on TC then, you may take that as a sign that the 'date' isn't going well!!!


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## Guest

I'll check! You can always be assured of a high standard of stupidity here!
Remember, if he's rich the love can follow later (I learned that from Jane Austen).


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## Dim7

Figleaf said:


> Nope, tomorrow lunchtime! And if I'm still hanging out on TC then, you may take that as a sign that the 'date' isn't going well!!!


I can provide some topics for discussion in advance (not for free of course), just in case there's moments of awkward silence. In such a situation, there's a high chance that you might embarass yourself by talking about something really stupid, or else outright absurd, just because you couldn't think of anything better and desperately wanted to break the silence. I think that if the discussion ideas are thought of by me, it is a guarantee that they wll be of high intellectual quality - have you ever heard me suggesting, even as a hypothetical, something really dumb to discuss?


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## Bulldog

Figleaf said:


> Aww thanks, Magnetic! It's amazing the flattering effects you can achieve with a really low res camera on a cheap tablet.
> 
> Let's hope the guy I'm meeting for the first time tomorrow thinks I've still got it...


You definitely have it. If I was single, I'd be headed in your direction.


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## Figleaf

dogen said:


> I'll check! You can always be assured of a high standard of stupidity here!
> Remember, if he's rich the love can follow later (I learned that from Jane Austen).


The only thing that I learned from Jane Austen is that I literally _am _ Marianne Dashwood and the one man I have ever really loved literally _is_ Mr. Willoughby: like, how did Jane know us both so well more than a century before we were born?! Weirdly, I saw 'Willoughby' yesterday, in Berkhamsted of all places, for the first time in more than a decade: coincidence or omen? Maybe my friend will be my Colonel Brandon- he's a little older than me, and seems decent and kind. Hope he's as sexy as Alan Rickman!


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## Figleaf

Dim7 said:


> I can provide some topics for discussion in advance (not for free of course), just in case there's moments of awkward silence. In such a situation, there's a high chance that you might embarass yourself by talking about something really stupid, or else outright absurd, just because you couldn't think of anything better and desperately wanted to break the silence. I think that if the discussion ideas are thought of by me, it is a guarantee that they wll be of high intellectual quality - have you ever heard me suggesting, even as a hypothetical, something really dumb to discuss?


I'll pick a cafe with WiFi and try to discreetly PM you under the table during lunch. At least now, I'll have somebody to blame if it goes wrong. Cheap at twice the price!


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## SimonNZ

The moral of Pride and Prejudice is "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen", right?


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## Figleaf

SimonNZ said:


> The moral of Pride and Prejudice is "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen", right?


But surely Darcy overdid the 'treat 'em mean' and thus was rejected by Lizzie Bennett- who only changed her mind when she realised he was decent but gruff, as opposed to an arrogant A-hole? PUAs work on the assumption that women actively prefer arrogant A-holes- which is a half truth to say the least!


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## SarahNorthman

dogen said:


> Meh, it's overrated. Better to have a good mug of tea. (Earl Grey, obviously)


The Earl is the only man for me.


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## SarahNorthman

SarahNorthman said:


> The Earl is the only man for me.





Figleaf said:


> But surely Darcy overdid the 'treat 'em mean' and thus was rejected by Lizzie Bennett- who only changed her mind when she realised he was decent but gruff, as opposed to an arrogant A-hole? PUAs work on the assumption that women actively prefer arrogant A-holes- which is a half truth to say the least!


Honestly Figleaf this comment made my day. It's so true!


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## Albert7

clavichorder said:


> Man, I have no problem making women friends. Its the dating that's difficult.


Okay I really need to learn from you. Dating is easy for me... it's the making female pals that is challenging to me.



Morimur said:


> I don't condone this method but one cannot deny its effective short-term practicality...


In this country, I'm pretty sure that I would be convicted of manslaughter .

Not pursuing that route btw.


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## SimonNZ

Albert7 said:


> Okay I really need to learn from you. Dating is easy for me... it's the making female pals that is challenging to me.


If dating is easy then why or how is it difficult to be friends?


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## Ukko

I have no idea if this has any usefulness for people 'in the prime of life': Regard everyone you meet with the attitude that we are all in this together, and let the consequences of that regard shake out as they will.


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## senza sordino

Morimur said:


> I don't condone this method but one cannot deny its effective short-term practicality...


I think this is refered to as going clubbing.


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## Albert7

SimonNZ said:


> If dating is easy then why or how is it difficult to be friends?


Let's put it this way... there have been girls who have been attracted to me that I want to run clear away from.


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## SeptimalTritone

Albert7 said:


> Let's put it this way... there have been girls who have been attracted to me that I want to run clear away from.


LOL! Albert's like an Asian version of Austin Powers!


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## Albert7

SeptimalTritone said:


> LOL! Albert's like an Asian version of Austin Powers!


Let's hope not... in all seriously... trying okcupid and POF so far. Not much luck yet but waiting for results and will see...


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## SarahNorthman

Albert7 said:


> Let's hope not... in all seriously... trying okcupid and POF so far. Not much luck yet but waiting for results and will see...


Maybe my standards are to high but I personally have had no luck on either site. Good luck to you though!


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## Posie

Figleaf said:


> In my experience (UK based but probably similar) men over 30 are in great demand on dating sites and tend to have their pick of single women, often choosing women much younger than themselves. I personally found internet dating a dispiriting experience, but then I was a 29-30 year old single mother with no job at that time, so my market value was close to zero even though I was still skinny and good looking then. For a man, I imagine internet dating would offer an ego boost in the short term. The only trouble is that you tend to meet very mainstream people that way: in the words of an attractive, intellectual older man I know who gave up internet dating in his mid sixties, 'I was tired of meeting banal people who would just think I was a weirdo'. So in the long term, it's best to find places where you meet like minded people. The Utah symphony sounds promising.


Rock concerts are good places to meet men, but you have to like the band.


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## Bulldog

What did single folks do before there were dating websites? Wait, I know. They met other folks in the real world, struck up conversations, made dates, grew relationships, had kids, etc. Technology is useless when it comes to personal relationships.

Then again, maybe I'm just too "senior" to realize the benefits of technology. Actually, this issue of how to make friends with females sounds alien to me. I've always been lucky when it comes to women.


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## Cheyenne

I'd say keep dating sites only as a last possible option. Almost any other way seems more succesful in my experience of older people looking for mates.


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## SarahNorthman

I'm not sure why people are bringing up dating sites when the original intent for this post was to make friends. Then point of dating sites is to find a potential romantic interest. You can look for friends there, but that is not the main intent of these sites.


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## Bulldog

I'm unclear as to whether Albert just wanted to find a platonic friend or something more. In the absence of clarity, I assume he was interested in friendship and romance. If that's not the case, I have no idea why he started this thread.


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## SarahNorthman

Bulldog said:


> I'm unclear as to whether Albert just wanted to find a platonic friend or something more. In the absence of clarity, I assume he was interested in friendship and romance. If that's not the case, I have no idea why he started this thread.


He mentioned wanting to find female friends but that he has no desire to date until his divorce is finalized. I can see where you come from though.


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## Albert7

Bulldog said:


> I'm unclear as to whether Albert just wanted to find a platonic friend or something more. In the absence of clarity, I assume he was interested in friendship and romance. If that's not the case, I have no idea why he started this thread.


I am looking for friendship first then romance yes.

I tried to make a friend earlier this week but we had issues due to different language and different religious beliefs. I tried to be nice and the gentleman but it went nowhere.

Trying again tonight.


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## Becca

Bulldog said:


> What did single folks do before there were dating websites? Wait, I know. They met other folks in the real world, struck up conversations, made dates, grew relationships, had kids, etc. Technology is useless when it comes to personal relationships.
> 
> Then again, maybe I'm just too "senior" to realize the benefits of technology. Actually, this issue of how to make friends with females sounds alien to me. I've always been lucky when it comes to women.


One of the ways was to put personal ads in local newspapers (remember them?). I know one guy who did that a few times. One week he went to a local symphony concert, sat up close and was rather taken with one of the front desk players. A few days later he got a number of responses to one of his ads and one of them turned out to be the woman that he had seen in the orchestra!

Have to finish this now as I should get going for Berlin and the Philharmonie. I have BPO tickets up front and I intend to pay a lot of attention to Stefan Dohr Hmm, probably Albrecht Mayer also, might as well double the odds.


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## Becca

Figleaf said:


> Nope, tomorrow lunchtime! And if I'm still hanging out on TC then, you may take that as a sign that the 'date' isn't going well!!!


Well .... are you going to let us know how it went?????


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## SarahNorthman

Albert7 said:


> I am looking for friendship first then romance yes.
> 
> I tried to make a friend earlier this week but we had issues due to different language and different religious beliefs. I tried to be nice and the gentleman but it went nowhere.
> 
> Trying again tonight.


Never give up! I'm sure you'll find friends!


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## Albert7

Becca said:


> Well .... are you going to let us know how it went?????


It was a disaster...

she wanted to try to convert me to her religion... apparently she probably wasn't a fan of my drinking beer or wine. :\

Hmm... back to square one.


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## Guest

Becca said:


> Well .... are you going to let us know how it went?????


She discovered he was a registered member of UKIP.

Her case comes up on Wednesday.


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## SimonNZ

A few questions:

What are you like as a listener, Albert? How closely do you pay attention to what others are saying? How interested are you in other viewpoints? What is the ratio of you talking to them talking? How good are you on picking up on signals that what you're doing or saying is damaging the situation? How open are you to criticism?


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## Kivimees

SimonNZ said:


> How closely do you pay attention to what others are saying?


Well, he did just answer a question directed at Figleaf. :angel:


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## Figleaf

Becca said:


> Well .... are you going to let us know how it went?????


It was great, thanks for asking! I would love to share all the salacious details, but he's quite a private person so I probably shouldn't. Seeing him him again today!


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## Ukko

Figleaf said:


> It was great, thanks for asking! I would love to share all the salacious details, but he's quite a private person so I probably shouldn't. Seeing him him again today!


Hmm. There is more than one sort of overexposure, y'know. I'm sure you dazzled him, but overdazzling is counterproductive. For one thing, it is conducive to hiccups.


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## Guest

Figleaf said:


> It was great, thanks for asking! I would love to share all the salacious details, but he's quite a private person so I probably shouldn't. Seeing him him again today!


But.... We're your FRIENDS! We have a RIGHT to know!!!!

Hope it continues on a good track...


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## Ingélou

I have no experience in finding 'dates' as I've been married for 41 years to a chap who 'just turned up' - he was my first & only boyfriend, as opposed to a boy friend who had a vocation to the priesthood & is now a bishop. 

However, if I were you, I'd follow a double strategy: 1) Use dating sites - with caution - but be prepared to turf out a lot of lady-frogs before you find your princess, and to be turfed out just as often in your turn; at least it will give you experience & you could learn more about conversations and connecting with women's interests 
and 2) ask women out that you come across at work - nothing ventured, nothing gained.


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## Albert7

Ingélou said:


> I have no experience in finding 'dates' as I've been married for 41 years to a chap who 'just turned up' - he was my first & only boyfriend, as opposed to a boy friend who had a vocation to the priesthood & is now a bishop.
> 
> However, if I were you, I'd follow a double strategy: 1) Use dating sites - with caution - but be prepared to turf out a lot of lady-frogs before you find your princess, and to be turfed out just as often in your turn; at least it will give you experience & you could learn more about conversations and connecting with women's interests
> and 2) ask women out that you come across at work - nothing ventured, nothing gained.


At the ballet office, I am too intimidated to ask any of the ladies over there. One of them is Mormon and loves to laugh at the guy's jokes (not me). Another works for the local theater and is a modern dancer but isn't my type. The rest are married so a no-go.

Dating/friendship websites have been encountered with more luck. And yes it's a long process but I'm slowly gaining traction. Haven't met any friend friends yet but no worries, I'm in it for the long Brucknerian haul.


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## Morimur

Albert, I think you'll meet someone when you least expect it. I met my wife at a time when I had decided that I'd be better off as a bachelor.


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## Art Rock

Likewise, when I met my wife, dating was the last thing in my mind. I had just emigrated to Singapore, had a new job that required all of my time, and then I walked into an art gallery on my day off.... and almost a year later ended up marrying the artist who was painting there.


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## Bulldog

Morimur said:


> Albert, I think you'll meet someone when you least expect it.


That's the truth! In high school and college, I was a "bad boy". I hated authority, got into frequent fights, drank too much, took way too many drugs and was flunking out of school. Then all of sudden, I noticed a young lady who drew me in totally. It didn't take long before I dropped my bad habits, got married to that young lady and raised a family. Was it fate, did God present her to me as a way to reach paradise or did I just mature at the right time? Actually, I believe I was just lucky to find her. You never know when the exact right person will appear before your eyes.


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## Vaneyes

Advice on finding female friendsBecome a shoe salesman.


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## hpowders

Follow Bruce Jenner's lead. Women are less defensive when socializing with other females.


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## Art Rock

Vaneyes said:


> [h=1]Become a shoe salesman.


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## Ingélou

Figleaf said:


> The only thing that I learned from Jane Austen is that I literally _am _ Marianne Dashwood and the one man I have ever really loved literally _is_ Mr. Willoughby: like, how did Jane know us both so well more than a century before we were born?! Weirdly, I saw 'Willoughby' yesterday, in Berkhamsted of all places, for the first time in more than a decade: coincidence or omen? Maybe my friend will be my Colonel Brandon- he's a little older than me, and seems decent and kind. Hope he's as sexy as Alan Rickman!


Ah, I always identified with Elinor - but she seems to get a raw deal as Edward Ferrars is hardly a man to drive one wild. 
I think out of all the Austen heroes, I'd go for Captain Wentworth. That scene at the end, where he overhears Anne's observations on love, is one of Austen's most romantic scenes. Swoon...


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## Albert7

Researching new methods to find friends. Found this.

http://www.wired.com/2014/01/how-to-hack-okcupid/

Using some basic principles my skills went up and I am meeting new ladies quite nicely. Quite a diverse range too.  Very optimistic.


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## Wood

Figleaf said:


> Thanks! I'm pretty sure he's still got it.  Trouble is, I'm not sure that it's a date as such. He's very gentlemanly and a little shy (and hopefully not reading this!) and while I like that in a man, it can be difficult to know if such gentlemanly types are interested romantically or not. Assuming the day is successful, I need to be able to signal my interest strongly enough that he's aware of it, yet not so strongly as to invite a rejection so humiliating that I will cringe at the memory of it for years to come.  One would have thought that this stuff would get easier with age, but apparently it doesn't, at least for someone as terminally clueless as me!


As the shy gentleman in question, I am happy to report that the signals were spot on and the romantic interest was reciprocated. Not only was the day itself successful, but also every one since then.

:kiss:

Dogen, I've got my eye on you.....


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## Figleaf

Wood said:


> As the shy gentleman in question, I am happy to report that the signals were spot on and the romantic interest was reciprocated. Not only was the day itself successful, but also every one since then.
> 
> :kiss:
> 
> Dogen, I've got my eye on you.....


That is so touching and adorable! To think that just over a week ago I had no idea whether you would like me in real life, and now...

It just goes to show that one never knows where and when one will meet that truly special person. I'm a very, very lucky woman!

In a few minutes the kids will be asleep and I will exchange those emoticon kisses for some real ones...


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## Albert7

Cool beans, I am making progress on this front. Now I just need to encounter in real life and work from that jump off.


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## Albert7

Wow, things are now going too well. Should I be worried now?

Hmm...


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## Bulldog

Albert7 said:


> Wow, things are now going too well. Should I be worried now?
> 
> Hmm...


Are you trying to juggle multiple dates in one evening?


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## Albert7

Bulldog said:


> Are you trying to juggle multiple dates in one evening?


Hell no. I'm not James Bond.

One possibility is turning out... beyond storybook fashion at the moment.


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## Albert7

This week has been frustrating in this respect. No headway but would like to meet some lady in real life not just in theory.


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## Radames

Albert7 said:


> This week has been frustrating in this respect. No headway but would like to meet some lady in real life not just in theory.


Checked out speed dating? I haven't. Looks awful. But I don't date. I'm waiting until they legalize man-pet marriage so I can marry my cat and put her on my health insurance.


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## Morimur

Radames said:


> Checked out speed dating? I haven't. Looks awful. But I don't date. I'm waiting until they legalize man-pet marriage so I can marry my cat and put her on my health insurance.


The way things are going, you might not have to wait long. Why should the government _not_ let people marry their pets? This violates our basic human rights!

:tiphat:


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## SarahNorthman

Morimur said:


> The way things are going, you might not have to wait long. Why should the government _not_ let people marry their pets? This violates our basic human rights!
> 
> :tiphat:


Well if you are in America we seem hell bent on violating basic human rights these days.


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## SarahNorthman

Albert7 said:


> This week has been frustrating in this respect. No headway but would like to meet some lady in real life not just in theory.


I'd take you up on this, though I am sure I fall into the "just in theory" category.


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## Albert7

Okay... today was a breakthrough moment .


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## Radames

Albert7 said:


> Okay... today was a breakthrough moment .


Breakthrough what? Not your sanity hopefully.


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## Ingélou

Wood said:


> As the shy gentleman in question, I am happy to report that the signals were spot on and the romantic interest was reciprocated. Not only was the day itself successful, but also every one since then.
> 
> :kiss:
> 
> Dogen, I've got my eye on you.....





Figleaf said:


> That is so touching and adorable! To think that just over a week ago I had no idea whether you would like me in real life, and now...
> 
> It just goes to show that one never knows where and when one will meet that truly special person. I'm a very, very lucky woman!
> 
> In a few minutes the kids will be asleep and I will exchange those emoticon kisses for some real ones...


Wow - I just found this! Fabulous news - may happiness abound for both of you! :tiphat: :tiphat:


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## Wood

Ingélou said:


> Wow - I just found this! Fabulous news - may happiness abound for both of you! :tiphat: :tiphat:


Thank you for your kind words Ingelou.

I am very fortunate that TC has enabled me to meet such a lovely, beautiful young woman. Happiness indeed!


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## Albert7

Summer is here and life has been very good.


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## mtmailey

It will not be easy finding friends there are so many weird people today in America be careful of drug addicts & drunks.There will be those would try to use people for money & so on.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

My girlfriend walked up to me when I was looking the other way....and she literally just poked me. 
That's how we met and I don't even know if I would have found her if she didn't take that first step towards meeting me!
I have no idea how to 'find' someone.


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## Figleaf

Wood said:


> Thank you for your kind words Ingelou.
> 
> I am very fortunate that TC has enabled me to meet* such a lovely, beautiful young woman. Happiness indeed!*


 I don't know what to say to that- except thank you my darling, and _I'm_ the lucky one!


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## Huilunsoittaja

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I have no idea how to 'find' someone.


Same. I prefer to bump into them in real life.

Sigh... I don't really have anything to say here on this thread. Nothing happening. But gosh, my mom got to meet this one guy last week who's had a crush on me for several years, and she agreed at he was being very forward and that he wasn't good for me. I feel sorry for him though. I think it's one of those cases that he knows I don't reciprocate, but he just can't break away. I guess my graduating will put things to rest.

I guess I can make a few remarks on that subject. He was definitely a friend by all accounts, but definitely a _very _friendly friend. If you are interested in finding female _friends_, don't do what he did which was sit next to me at almost every social event we were at, talk to me at long lengths and say random stuff to get some thoughtful response from me, when I found in most cases that I had no comment and just sat awkwardly silent next to him. Too much attention is a red flag. Keep your distance. However, if you're trying to get out of the friend-zone, _attention _is the number one way to give that clue to a woman. But don't sneak up on them the way this person tended to do, to suddenly show up next to me. Make it super obvious that you're intending to talk to them when you approach them. Yeah, I know there can be nerves, and I confess I've done some sneaking about too, the way squirrels on our deck tend to do when they see a peanut but not go directly for it. But transparency is best. I fear this guy may have jeopardized my impression of availability on facebook, because he took many photos of me with him at those social gatherings and posted them online, making it look like we were a pair. 

Now that I'm graduating and falling back into isolation () I'm expecting no changes in my situation any time soon. If something was going to happen, it should have already... I'm ready to bury my dead.


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## Bulldog

mtmailey said:


> It will not be easy finding friends there are so many weird people today in America be careful of drug addicts & drunks.There will be those would try to use people for money & so on.


Love is all around us - join in the celebration!


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## SarahNorthman

Bulldog said:


> Love is all around us - join in the celebration!


I know that this is America, but it doesn't help that New Mexico, some cities in particular fall into that demographic more than others. We have a lot of resident crazies, as well as a lot of drug use and alcoholism here. I know that's not everyone, but it is a majority of the population here.


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## SarahNorthman

well, shoot, I just fully read what I posted and what I posted to......I think I will refrain from posting until I am fully awake.


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## Albert7

This week has been awesome. Got two pals who are of the female genders and chatting regularly. 

An adventure of good directions.


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## Morimur

Albert7 said:


> This week has been awesome. Got two pals who are of the female genders and chatting regularly.
> 
> An adventure of good directions.


How do you know they're really female? This is 21st century America after all.

:tiphat:


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## scratchgolf

Being single is extremely underrated. Follow these easy steps. 
1. Grow a beard
2. Drink coffee directly from the pot
3. Use the bathroom with the door open
4. Wear a bathrobe until noon
5. Smoke cigars in the shower
6. Smoke weed with the neighbor's cat
7. Wear flip-flops for 5 straight days

If you can find a women who tolerates these things, she's yours.


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## Figleaf

scratchgolf said:


> Being single is extremely underrated. Follow these easy steps.
> 1. Grow a beard
> 2. Drink coffee directly from the pot
> 3. Use the bathroom with the door open
> 4. Wear a bathrobe until noon
> 5. Smoke cigars in the shower
> 6. Smoke weed with the neighbor's cat
> 7. Wear flip-flops for 5 straight days
> 
> If you can find a women who tolerates these things, she's yours.


A long distance relationship enables one to enjoy the best of both worlds. My other half is currently several hundred miles away  but I'm following Scratchgolf's steps 2,3,4 and 7 with no discernible ill effects on the situation.


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## scratchgolf

There's a fine line between pretending not to care and truly not caring. Women can spot the difference. Men are notorious for trying too hard and overthinking every situation. Speak your mind and amazing results will follow. Tell people exactly how you feel. If they don't show interest, it wasn't meant to be. Yesterday I told a women she was beautiful. Straight to her face. She also happened to be a police officer investigating a burn ban violation (guilty as charged). I got her phone number but I'm not going to call her.


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## scratchgolf

Figleaf. I told you before you're a sexy woman. From everything I know about Wood, he's a cool customer. Best of luck to you both. Don't be afraid to fart in front of him though. Don't force it but don't hold back either. Life is beautiful. Live it to the fullest.


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## Figleaf

scratchgolf said:


> ..Women can spot the difference. Men are notorious for trying too hard and overthinking every situation.


I thought it was _us_ who tried too hard- ever read 'Women who love too much' or any self help book of that genre?  Still, nice to know that (some) men are just the same. 



scratchgolf said:


> Yesterday I told a women she was beautiful. Straight to her face. She also happened to be a police officer investigating a burn ban violation (guilty as charged). I got her phone number but I'm not going to call her.


Wow, that's very brave! But what is this thing men do of getting women's numbers and not calling? It's never happened to me cos I never give them my number. 



scratchgolf said:


> Figleaf. I told you before you're a sexy woman. From everything I know about Wood, he's a cool customer. Best of luck to you both.* Don't be afraid to fart in front of him though. Don't force it but don't hold back either.* Life is beautiful. Live it to the fullest.


Thank you very much for the compliments, the congratulations and most of all, the advice. Now I know how to get my own back on W for his loud snoring! :lol:


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## Wood

Figleaf said:


> A long distance relationship enables one to enjoy the best of both worlds. My other half is currently several hundred miles away  but I'm following Scratchgolf's steps 2,3,4 and 7 with no discernible ill effects on the situation.


As long as you don't do 1 & 5, life is going to be great.

Thanks Scratch (I think).

My love, you may fart if I can, but I just think that you may have the worse of the deal. :lol:


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## Figleaf

Wood said:


> As long as you don't do 1 & 5, life is going to be great.
> 
> Thanks Scratch (I think).
> 
> My love, you may fart if I can, but I just think that you may have the worse of the deal. :lol:


Actually, how _do_ you achieve number 5? Do they make waterproof cigars? 

Number 3 is fine as long as it isn't a 'number 2'...

I think we will continue to get along very well when our long distance relationship finally becomes a no distance one! :kiss:


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## scratchgolf

Wood. Definitely a compliment so you're welcome. 

As for cigars in the shower, it's currently in testing. I'll report back with actual findings. I've had golf tournaments the last 3 days and tomorrow as well. It's really killing my ability to relax and channel my inner Lebowski.


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## Wood

Figleaf said:


> Actually, how _do_ you achieve number 5? Do they make waterproof cigars?
> 
> Number 3 is fine as long as it isn't a 'number 2'...
> 
> *I think we will continue to get along very well when our long distance relationship finally becomes a no distance one*! :kiss:


I'm sure we will darling, but I will put the machine gun away (as far as I can).


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## Jos

scratchgolf said:


> Wood. Definitely a compliment so you're welcome.
> 
> As for cigars in the shower, it's currently in testing. I'll report back with actual findings. I've had golf tournaments the last 3 days and tomorrow as well. It's really killing my ability to relax and channel my inner Lebowski.


Nothing you can't handle, Scratch. Just down one or two of them mean White Russians and you'll be fine. Don't forget to bring the rug to the golfcourse. It really ties the green together.
Best of luck with the tournament.


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## Albert7

To the ladies here who may advise me here... I'm super nervous about asking out a lady on a date. I'm just worried that I may scare her off.


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## SeptimalTritone

Albert7 said:


> To the ladies here who may advise me here... I'm super nervous about asking out a lady on a date. I'm just worried that I may scare her off.


I'm trying to view a rejection from a girl I ask out as an indication of our non-compatibility rather than a personal failing. That should do the trick.


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## Ingélou

Albert7 said:


> To the ladies here who may advise me here... I'm super nervous about asking out a lady on a date. I'm just worried that I may scare her off.


My advice would be to ask her to some 'shared activity' or low-profile coffee rather than an actual date. That shouldn't scare her, but if she does refuse, you haven't lost face. If she accepts, you have more chance to build up a friendship.


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## Levanda

I did not follow this treat well but can I get your number please.


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## ArtMusic

Albert7 said:


> As people may know, I am separated from my wife and right now am living away from her.
> 
> So I have been focused on finding female friends. Any advice on where to start? I don't plan on dating until a divorce is final but it would be good to meet ladies for being friends. I haven't dated in years and my only friends are my stepdad, my daughter, my roommate and a few guys.
> 
> Thanks for your help in this matter.


Honestly, I think a good sense of appreciating classical arts (visual and of course music) sets you apart from the rest. My female friends like this characteristic of mine.


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## Morimur

scratchgolf said:


> Figleaf. I told you before you're a sexy woman. From everything I know about Wood, he's a cool customer. Best of luck to you both. Don't be afraid to fart in front of him though. Don't force it but don't hold back either. Life is beautiful. Live it to the fullest.


Life is beautiful? Scratchgolf must have suffered a concussion during one of his golf tournaments. Or maybe he's high...yeah, he's probably high. Gotta get me some of that kush. And farting in front of one's significant other may be funny at first, but the novelty turns into disgust fairly quickly. Keep the farts at bay I say.


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## Albert7

ArtMusic said:


> Honestly, I think a good sense of appreciating classical arts (visual and of course music) sets you apart from the rest. My female friends like this characteristic of mine.


Thanks for the positive encouragement.


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## trazom

Morimur said:


> ..yeah, he's probably high. Gotta get me some of that kush.


Just because someone's high doesn't mean they needed kush. In this case, lack of Oxygen was the most likely cause.


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## Albert7

Texted the lady to see if she wanted to do dinner or lunch next week. Will see how that goes.


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## Albert7

Terrible evening. I got stiffed on the dinner rendezvous and the lady never showed up. Sucks.


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## AnotherSpin

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore again. Show your total disinterest and display it openly. After it will work tell her what you want most explicit way.


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## Albert7

Thanks AnotherSpin I will take your advice then. I don't want to feel depressed about this whole situation.

It's the trust issue that I have to deal with. If a lady says she is going to show up, I think that she ought to show up, no excuses. So tired of this.


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## Sonata

That's very rude, I'm sorry !


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## fjf

Albert7 said:


> Terrible evening. I got stiffed on the dinner rendezvous and the lady never showed up. Sucks.


You are doing it the other way around. She will choose you, if you are lucky. Be nice to all women you meet and be patient. If any of them chooses you, you'll know. Or not. Or you may not be lucky. But that's how life is. Unfair.


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