# Your funeral music



## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

Not to be maudlin, but I have waded in death over the past few years. At a certain age all the people one generation above you start dying, and you have to arrange their funerals, administer their estates, etc. I've done my share.

Anyway, what music would you want to be played at your funeral?
For my mother, we walked out to In Paradisum from Faure's Requiem, as it is what she deserved, but we had some Poulenc two-piano music (L'Embarquement pour Cythere) as she liked to play that with a friend.
For my father, who was a Mahler fan, we exited to the Bim Bam thing from his 3rd symphony, and had the Urlicht movement from his 2nd. We also had "When Johnny Comes Marching Home", as he was called John, was born in the US, used to like civil war songs.
My brother was different again.
My mother's cousin was a particular case, and we had "There's no business like show business", and "I am what I am" from La Cage aux Folles, all with his coffin on the stage of a theatre he was instrumental in establishing on Hoy in Orkney. We're all different.

There are also practical matters about length of piece, etc.

So what would you want? How sad, or uplifted, do you want anyone who shows up to be?


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

I think I'll leave it up to those I leave behind. I've told them just to put me out with the trash and loot my apartment. They'll find music here to suit any classical taste.


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## Radames (Feb 27, 2013)

For my father it was Vaughn Williams Fantasia on Greensleeves. It was the only classical piece that I knew he liked. For me I think I would take the Tallis Fantasia.


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## Ned Low (Jul 29, 2020)

The adagio of Bruckner's 7th.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Woodduck said:


> I think I'll leave it up to those I leave behind. I've told them just to put me out with the trash a*nd loot my apartment. They'll find music here to suit any classical taste*.


Do I qualify as one you left behind who can loot your music stash? 

But you will have to send me your address. I will scan the obits daily for Woodduck first day I don't see any new posts from you.


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## NoCoPilot (Nov 9, 2020)

In my family we don't do funerals. We don't have caskets, we do cremation. We have a mausoleum with all our urns.

I never thought much about funerals and graves until my dad died. That one was tough. I couldn't bear to help my sister spread his ashes. Afterward I think I began to understand the need to have a _PLACE_ to go to mourn a loved one. It's not that they're there, it's just a symbolic mourning place where that sort of thing is acceptable. I see old men standing in a graveyard and now I understand a little bit.

The grandmother of one of my friends visited her husband's gravesite every single day, weeping and moaning and tearing up grass. It can get to be too much, unhealthy.

As far as music goes, Samuel Barber's "Adagio for Strings," definitely.


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## NoCoPilot (Nov 9, 2020)

SixFootScowl said:


> Do I qualify as one you left behind who can loot your music stash?


Let's not wait. How's tomorrow work for you?


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## Ned Low (Jul 29, 2020)

Woodduck said:


> I think I'll leave it up to those I leave behind. I've told them just to put me out with the trash and loot my apartment. They'll find music here to suit any classical taste.


No Siegfried's funeral march? No Isolde's Liebestod( of course without a sporano)?


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

For VW Fantasia on TT and Bruckner 7, you will need a well-behaved group of mourners. I think I had about 5-6 minutes maximum in mind for the length of time they would tolerate.

My dad was a General Practitioner, so quite a lot of people turned up. I think much more than 5 minutes would have been a stretch. The Mahler Urlicht was OK. I would perhaps have rather gone for the O Mensch thing from number 3 but it was too long.


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

NoCoPilot said:


> In my family we don't do funerals. We don't have caskets, we do cremation. We have a mausoleum with all our urns.
> 
> I never thought much about funerals and graves until my dad died. That one was tough. I couldn't bear to help my sister spread his ashes. Afterward I think I began to understand the need to have a _PLACE_ to go to mourn a loved one. It's not that they're there, it's just a symbolic mourning place where that sort of thing is acceptable. I see old men standing in a graveyard and now I understand a little bit.
> 
> ...


With the Barber, you're definitely going for the weepy end of things.


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

I will not leave any instructions - the funeral gathering is for the living to say goodbye. My wife can do the honours of selecting the music.


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

At least no one is suggesting the march to the scaffold. That's an OK length, but in questionable taste.


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## Radames (Feb 27, 2013)

Eclectic Al said:


> For VW Fantasia on TT and Bruckner 7, you will need a well-behaved group of mourners. I think I had about 5-6 minutes maximum in mind for the length of time they would tolerate.
> 
> My dad was a General Practitioner, so quite a lot of people turned up. I think much more than 5 minutes would have been a stretch. The Mahler Urlicht was OK. I would perhaps have rather gone for the O Mensch thing from number 3 but it was too long.


I really don't expect that many people to be there. Except for my cat. I'm sure she won't mind the length. If people do show up I hope they get inspired to love classical music from the piece.



Eclectic Al said:


> At least no one is suggesting the march to the scaffold. That's an OK length, but in questionable taste.


I'm saving that one for my execution. Last wish instead of a meal would be that music!


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

NoCoPilot said:


> In my family we don't do funerals. We don't have caskets, we do cremation. We have a mausoleum with all our urns.
> 
> I never thought much about funerals and graves until my dad died. That one was tough. I couldn't bear to help my sister spread his ashes. Afterward I think I began to understand the need to have a _PLACE_ to go to mourn a loved one. It's not that they're there, it's just a symbolic mourning place where that sort of thing is acceptable. I see old men standing in a graveyard and now I understand a little bit.
> 
> ...


The norm in the UK is cremation. (It's a small island.) Only my mother's cousin was buried among my immediate family. It was difficult carrying the coffin up the steps between the rows of seats in his theatre without bumping into the end seats. To be honest, though, he was such a one-off that that was entirely appropriate.

To be serious, there is also the religious element. We didn't really know what my father felt about the God thing. He was raised a Presbyterian, but didn't express much in later life. Hence, the Mahler was useful, because if anyone translated the German there was plenty of stuff in his Mahler pieces to bring those questions into play. I doubt if they did, though.


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

SixFootScowl said:


> Do I qualify as one you left behind who can loot your music stash?
> 
> But you will have to send me your address. I will scan the obits daily for Woodduck first day I don't see any new posts from you.


Help yourself. You can contact me through my people, who wish to remain anonymous. Just give me a few days please.


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## NoCoPilot (Nov 9, 2020)

Eclectic Al said:


> With the Barber, you're definitely going for the weepy end of things.


That's if I die of natural causes.

If I'm executed I want Captain Beefheart's "Trout Mask Replica," turned all the way up and played all the way through, please. And bar the doors.


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## mbhaub (Dec 2, 2016)

This is a fun thread...slightly morbid, but that makes it all the better! I'm one of those people who have pre-planned it. Even have a CD ready to go - assuming there will be a player around then. But who knows, the grim reaper could visit tonight!

!. at the beginning: Mussorgsky: Dawn on the Moscow River from Khovanchina
2. in the middle: Percy Grainger: Irish Tune from County Derry - band arrangement
3. when the people leave: Ketelbey: Happy Hampstead from Cockney Suite


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

For myself I think I would propose BWV 682 - the long setting of Vater unser im Himmelreich from the Klavierubung III. Peter Hurford performing, as he does it slooooooow.

It's a bit long, but they could make of it what they will. (And, I'm not even religious.)


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## NoCoPilot (Nov 9, 2020)




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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

mbhaub said:


> This is a fun thread...slightly morbid, but that makes it all the better! I'm one of those people who have pre-planned it. Even have a CD ready to go - assuming there will be a player around then. But who knows, the grim reaper could visit tonight!
> 
> !. at the beginning: Mussorgsky: Dawn on the Moscow River from Khovanchina
> 2. in the middle: Percy Grainger: Irish Tune from County Derry - band arrangement
> 3. when the people leave: Ketelbey: Happy Hampstead from Cockney Suite


Sounds like a groovy party.


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

NoCoPilot said:


>


Not "My Way". Well done - there is a limit to the power of the cliché.


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## ArtMusic (Jan 5, 2013)

I would want _4'33"_ for a moment of silence while I am in my coffin.


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

ArtMusic said:


> I would want _4'33"_ for a moment of silence while I am in my coffin.


Now that is sad.


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## Chilham (Jun 18, 2020)

Jenkins: The Armed Man. A Mass For Peace - Benedictus


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## Barbebleu (May 17, 2015)

I have asked my wife to book three slots for my cremation. I have an awful lot of music to get through!:lol:

They’ll all be thinking they were at a concert!

To be fair my wife did say that as I wouldn’t be present I would never know what she had played so I’m not holding out much hope for any of my choices. I’ll likely shuffle off this mortal coil to ABBA, Elton John and Rod Stewart. Not Mahler, Dylan, Wagner, Strauss and Joni!


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## Highwayman (Jul 16, 2018)

I`d invite all the people I don`t like to my funeral and make them sit through Cage`s ASLSP. :devil:

But if I need to be serious, I have to have my Brahms. If I`m able to hear the music from wherever I may be, then I`ll have something personal like the C-sharp minor Intermezzo or the 2nd movement of the Clarinet Quintet otherwise I`ll have something more contextual like _Begräbnisgesang_ or _Nänie_.


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## MarkW (Feb 16, 2015)

I would love to have a violinist play the violin obligatto from the Benedictus of Missa Solemnis at my gravesite, but barring that, "Winchester Cathedral" would be fine.


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## ORigel (May 7, 2020)

Beethoven Opus 131 movements 6 and 7


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## level82rat (Jun 20, 2019)

Michael Haydn's Trumpet Concerto in D. It is the perfect mix of sad, happy, and hopeful. And to top it all off, it is all-around beautiful.


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## Bruckner Anton (Mar 10, 2016)

I would put the slow movement of Beethoven's string quartet op.135 on my list. It is so calm, melancholy and otherworldly beautiful. A deeply touching piece that lead me out of all those day-to-day nasty things. A perfect piece for heaven.


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## golfer72 (Jan 27, 2018)

Slow movement from Elgar Violin Cto


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## Coach G (Apr 22, 2020)

As much as I love classical music, I don't want any of it played at my funeral. They can mention it in my obit (Coach G, husband, father, grandfather, chess coach, classical music enthusiast...), but I want all my funeral music to be songs of glory composed in a popular style for all to enjoy: _I Believe_; _Take My Hand Precious Lord_; _My Sweet Lord_; _Peace in the Valley_; _This Ole House/When the Saints Go Marching In_.


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## NoCoPilot (Nov 9, 2020)

Sorry Coach, but I guess I'll have to miss your funeral. That's a little too much Hallmark for my stomach.


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## Rogerx (Apr 27, 2018)

I am not vain enough to choose, I leave that for my heirs.


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

level82rat said:


> Michael Haydn's Trumpet Concerto in D. It is the perfect mix of sad, happy, and hopeful. And to top it all off, it is all-around beautiful.


I expect the esteemed hammeredklavier would come along then. If you're lucky he might blow Michael's trumpet.


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

One thing I found helpful is that at some point my brother had done a Desert Island Discs thing for family and friends, so I was able to refer to those choices.

Surely somewhere on TC someone must have run a Desert Island Discs thread - but I can't be bothered to look.


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## hammeredklavier (Feb 18, 2018)

level82rat said:


> Michael Haydn






^the harmony at 16:53 has been stuck in my head all day


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

I lost three immediate members of my family between 2012 and 2016 and in each case much of the chosen music for the service was too cloying. I won't make a mockery of my own service but I'll make sure the music is a little more buoyant.


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

elgars ghost said:


> I lost three immediate members of my family between 2012 and 2016 and in each case much of the chosen music for the service was too cloying. I won't make a mockery of my own service but I'll make sure the music is a little more buoyant.


Always a difficult balance. I am not sure we got it right starting my brother's funeral with the theme from Thunderbirds (or was it Stingray?). But it was appropriate.


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## leonsm (Jan 15, 2011)

Bach: Passacaglia and Fugue, BWV 582
Bach: Violin Partita no. 2 - V. Chaconne
Bach: Brandenburg Concerto no. 5 - II. Affettuoso
Respighi: Concerto a cinque - II. Adagio
Respighi: Concerto all'antica - II. Adagio non troppo


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## Marc (Jun 15, 2007)

Not my favourite performer/performance for this piece, but Goerne does sound here like "ich freue mich auf meinen Tod, verdammt noch mal, and I don't give a ***** what you might think of that!!!"
Which sounds like a good funeral tune to me.


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## haziz (Sep 15, 2017)

Bach's Solo Cello Suite No. 1

Not a bad way to go with "dance' music! And don't bury me in a casket or cremate me. Recycle me in earth, with no attempt at preservation please, preferably naked in a fetal position, and plant a tree on top of me.


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## hammeredklavier (Feb 18, 2018)

Woodduck said:


> I think I'll leave it up to those I leave behind.


I'm sure they will play :angel::


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## david johnson (Jun 25, 2007)

I would prefer one of the Dixieland style funerals, as is done in New Orleans


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## kfriegedank (Feb 27, 2020)

Woodduck said:


> I think I'll leave it up to those I leave behind. I've told them just to put me out with the trash and loot my apartment. They'll find music here to suit any classical taste.


I'd go further; there is a lot of fun one can have with a fresh corpse, like a ripe apple - juicy and full of flavour....... or maybe not.


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## kfriegedank (Feb 27, 2020)

hammeredklavier said:


> ^the harmony at 16:53 has been stuck in my head all day


Thanks for reminding me of this great Requiem setting - I am immediately to work on getting the full score available on Youtube for studying purposes.


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## Ariasexta (Jul 3, 2010)

Johann Jakob Froberger`s Partita D-dur FbWV 611a. As for the purpose of a requiem, there is only one Froberger to ask for.


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

Ibert, Divertissement. 
If my family bother with a funeral for me, I want them to leave it laughing!


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## Barbebleu (May 17, 2015)

If I see one more thread on subjectivity vs objectivity then I fear I will need my funeral music sooner rather than later!:lol:


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## hammeredklavier (Feb 18, 2018)

kfriegedank said:


> Thanks for reminding me of this great Requiem setting - I am immediately to work on getting the full score available on Youtube for studying purposes.


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## hustlefan (Apr 29, 2016)

Mozart: Masonic Funeral Music, K. 477, conducted by Bruno Walter, only eight minutes long, but unlike anything else Mozart composed.


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## Eclectic Al (Apr 23, 2020)

hustlefan said:


> Mozart: Masonic Funeral Music, K. 477, conducted by Bruno Walter, only eight minutes long, but unlike anything else Mozart composed.


Seems like this suggestion has the brief pretty much nailed, if very much at the long end of what your average funeral-goer might tolerate.


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## Reichstag aus LICHT (Oct 25, 2010)

I'm not sure what I'd have, but I like what Peter Sellers did. He truly hated the song "In The Mood", so he stipulated that it should be played as his coffin disappeared from view.


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## MusicSybarite (Aug 17, 2017)

I'll be quite bleak in my choice: Shostakovich's SQ No. 15, first movement.


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## 13hm13 (Oct 31, 2016)

I like the way the final mvt. of Barber's Symph 1 meanders from warm and tenderness to loud and bombastic ... ending with a bang, and not the whisper the mvt. begins with. That's my exit strategy


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## pianozach (May 21, 2018)

If, for some reason, it ends up being a closed casket affair, I'd like a string quartet to play POP GOES THE WEASEL several times, with the fermata near the end being longer upon each successive repetition.

Otherwise, I've requested two specific songs

*Soon* (new edit) - Yes
*Last Song* - Daniel Nahmod

I also have a rather lengthy selection of tunes I've personally recorded, and I'd like to find a way to subject my guests to all of it.


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## BrahmsWasAGreatMelodist (Jan 13, 2019)

Maybe "In Paradisium" or "Agnus Dei" from Faure's Requiem.

Or the first movement of the Brahms Requiem.

But probably I'd rather have something a little more dance-like, maybe the Prelude to Bach's first keyboard partita.

It's for others to decide, though.


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## Enthusiast (Mar 5, 2016)

If I get to choose then perhaps it should be one of Feldman's longer pieces - maybe something 8 hours long. That should give my closest a long rest.


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## BrahmsWasAGreatMelodist (Jan 13, 2019)

BrahmsWasAGreatMelodist said:


> Maybe "In Paradisium" or "Agnus Dei" from Faure's Requiem.
> 
> Or the first movement of the Brahms Requiem.
> 
> ...


Schumann's "Traumerei" ...


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## Metairie Road (Apr 30, 2014)

I plan on being cremated when I go. So I want this played at my memorial service.

I think the organist can handle it, he's pretty good.


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## Rogerx (Apr 27, 2018)

4'33" Composition van John Cage for starters


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