# My perfectionism and composing....



## JamieHoldham (May 13, 2016)

You would think that's great, having a disorder which mentally forces you to go for the absolute best you can do and nothing less than that, but it isn't, its horrible starting to write a piece, make 1 mistake or decide it isn't good enough and start all over again no matter how far ahead I am with the work, I have nearly scrapped hundreds of pages already from composing for only about 5-6 months ago.

I am not sure if this is related either but I always start a certain work, then change ideas constantly which adds even more to the problem of wanting to compose a piece and actually finish it until the end without having to start all over again.

Out of boredom did I want to make this topic and get this out of my system, haven't got anything better to do at the moment right now.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

You know what they say - 'the best is the enemy of the good'. 

It's good that you're prolific and are trying things out, but remember that great composers didn't get there on Day One but served apprenticeships as organists or worked on small commissions. 

Think of something small to write - and then you can spend quite a bit of time trying to perfect it, and if it's still not as good as you envisaged, it's too small to scrap and can be kept for light occasions. And in the meantime, you got to try out a specific idea.

If you are patient with yourself and look on the next ten years as your Time of Discovery and Learning, it will be far more satisfying for you and you will probably achieve more because you're taking the stress off yourself. Instead of thinking of what standard the work will reach if and when it's finished, you will be concentrating on the needs of the work, its necessary limitations, what sort of audience it will suit and so on: workmanlike considerations.

Good luck - and enjoy yourself. :tiphat:


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## prasad94 (Jul 11, 2016)

I have the same issue, but I find that sometimes you have to accept a piece will not sound good without "colouring" it in. What I mean is, that, sometimes you've got a nice melody and a little bit of harmony with it. It sounds okay but not perfect. Once you harmonize the rest of it using different instruments, you may find yourself inspired by the colour of the phrase! It is very uninspiring to hear just a violin playing the melody with a cello and viola playing harmonies. It's nicer when the woodwinds join in the discussion, but it's not always appropriate


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## Samuel Kristopher (Nov 4, 2015)

As someone who has had this problem in both fiction writing and music writing, I want to encourage you that this is not so much a "mental disorder" as much as it is a preconception about your own creative processes. 

I battled perfectionism for years in both mediums, and there is no easy way out of it. The solution for both took a long time for me to figure out on my own, but the answer was (and this may sound trite and unhelpful) discipline. To be fair, this turn-around came at a time when my whole life was transitioning from one of a carefree student (without many responsibilities) to a full-time worker (with many responsibilities). Discipline was forced upon me, and having a suspicion that this would help my creativity, I decided to embrace it and see where it would take me.

Resisting the urge to correct the last bar of music, or sentence of literature, that you've just written, is all part and parcel of the creative process. I find that the only way I can make any kind of progress is by refusing to listen or read what I've already written until I've finished the whole draft. Going back and polishing what one has already written is much easier than trying to perfect the work before it's even completed. That is, unless you are Shostakovich and can hear the completed work in your head before you've even started writing (and if that's the case, then far be it from me to offer advice on how to overcome this problem)!


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