# Are males of a family biologically wired to hate the females of that family's partner



## violadude (May 2, 2011)

Bottom line is: I hate my sisters boyfriend. I have no reason to hate him, he hasn't done anything to me, I've barely talked to the guy. But for whatever reason I hate seeing his dumb teenage boy face in our house. Is there something wrong with me? Or am I acting as nature intends me to?


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## emiellucifuge (May 26, 2009)

No,

but to add some substance to my post; there is a thing called survival by proxy, whereby an individual also has the urge to ensure the survival of close relatives. As your sister (presumably) carries a large proportion of your genes, ensuring she continues to reproduce is almost as essential as your own reproductive success. This may explain strong feelings you have of wanting to protect your sister from people you do not think are suitable.


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

Are you saying there is something wrong with me?

Response to edit: Ah..that is quite informative indeed.


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

I like that, Veeds...naaa, I don't think there's anything really wrong with you although the issue can be brought up as to why you are so protective of your sister and such but I just like to think of you coming up to the guy and popping him a good one in the mouth with your bowing hand. :devil:


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

Maybe it's not that I am that protective of my sister, but he is the kind of guy that I hated when I was actually in highschool....not sure.


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

Sounds like similar to the old "in-laws" thing. It's very common, always has been. Can be a real "issue" in a relationship, not only marriage (many people living defacto nowadays). But some people get along okay with their in-laws. Just hard if you live with them or meet them (forced to?) on a regular basis. I don't want them in my face, but they're okay at a distance...


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

Possibly. There's also the fact that he's younger, I don't know if this a thing common to men or whatever but I do often feel like I'm worn out or over the hill when I'm around younger people, even though I'm only 22.

Edit: At least, I assume he's younger from the way you specifically mentioned his age range.


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

I don't know if I feel worn out around him...I tried talking to him a couple times and I couldn't get much out of him except basically "ya I like to surf huh huh." He kind of reminds me of a character from Beevus and Butthead. Maybe I am subconsciously an elitist and don't want my sister dating a dumbass.

But c'mon!! Under his political beliefs section on facebook it says: "Obama can go suck a large white cacckkkkkkkkkkkkk"

and no, I did not change that at all to make him seem dumber. That is exactly what it says.


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

I believe you just from the fact that you don't know how to spell Beavis. Sounds like a goof.


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

kv466 said:


> I believe you just from the fact that you don't know how to spell Beavis. Sounds like a goof.


Oh, oops, haha. Never actually seen a full episode or anything. I have just seen ads and have an idea about what they act like and how they talk.


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

I don't know, but I hated all of my sisters' boyfriends too, and then somehow they managed to marry good guys.

Maybe the difference is in how I looked at the guys, and there's no way for me to prove otherwise, but I don't _feel_ that way.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

We all have a little elitism, there's nothing wrong with you for thinking he's a dumbass. I probably would think he was a dumbass too, as possibly would a fair number of people on this forum, if he's like you describe. 

I can relate to the highschool stuff and feeling like your sibling is associating with people that wouldn't be up to your standards. I used to be more bugged by the people my brother hangs out with, but I guess I've sacrificed some of my older brother authority because it wasn't working, and now I just act like a dumbass when I'm around him, because its part of his image, and some day he'll grow out of it, and it can be kind of fun.


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

violadude said:


> I don't know if I feel worn out around him...I tried talking to him a couple times and I couldn't get much out of him except basically "ya I like to surf huh huh." He kind of reminds me of a character from Beevus and Butthead. Maybe I am subconsciously an elitist and don't want my sister dating a dumbass.
> 
> But c'mon!! Under his political beliefs section on facebook it says: "Obama can go suck a large white cacckkkkkkkkkkkkk"
> 
> and no, I did not change that at all to make him seem dumber. That is exactly what it says.


Oh, you have an averse reaction to morons. I understand perfectly.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

VD, I can't say you're wrong.

View attachment 3130


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

As you continue to move away from high school and into the next part of your life, I anticipate that people who really bugged you in high school, you simply won't care either way about as much, and then their negative influence on your past will wane and you simply won't expend negative energy being bugged by them.


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## Meaghan (Jul 31, 2010)

I've always been protective of my little brother--I got in a lot of trouble in elementary school for threatening some kids with physical violence who had been harassing him. Lately girls have started taking an interest in him and I've become more protective again. I'm sure if he started dating one of them (he has yet to express any interest in doing so), I would keep close tabs on her and probably also consider her unworthy.


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## Klavierspieler (Jul 16, 2011)

does he text allthe time, have hair lik justin biber n mak stupd jokes all thetime?

If so, I sympathize completely.


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

Klavierspieler said:


> does he text allthe time, have hair lik justin biber n mak stupd jokes all thetime?
> 
> If so, I sympathize completely.


He does indeed have hair like Justin Bieber. He also makes stupid jokes. Not sure about the texting. She does text him quite a lot though. Do you have a sister that is dating the same type of guy?


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## regressivetransphobe (May 16, 2011)

I wonder why he specified "white caaaacck[sic]". Does some good old-fashioned ****sucking always have to be about race?


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

Caaaacck? Is that one o' them there funny European words with the dots and lines all over it?


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

Crudblud said:


> Caaaacck? Is that one o' them there funny European words with the dots and lines all over it?


It's moron for "c*ck."


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## HarpsichordConcerto (Jan 1, 2010)

violadude said:


> Bottom line is: I hate my sisters boyfriend. I have no reason to hate him, he hasn't done anything to me, I've barely talked to the guy. But for whatever reason I hate seeing his dumb teenage boy face in our house. Is there something wrong with me? Or am I acting as nature intends me to?


Judging him by his looks? Many can be prejudicial at times, me included.


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

violadude said:


> It's moron for "c*ck."


Congratulations, you missed the joke by about five miles.


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## Lukecash12 (Sep 21, 2009)

violadude said:


> Bottom line is: I hate my sisters boyfriend. I have no reason to hate him, he hasn't done anything to me, I've barely talked to the guy. But for whatever reason I hate seeing his dumb teenage boy face in our house. Is there something wrong with me? Or am I acting as nature intends me to?


Trust me, you don't want to see any of your family members stuck with some douche. I've been around later down that road and it's hurtful and generally unpleasant. So long as you don't, God help you if you do, bother your sister into spiting you with her choice of a mate, I would encourage you to protect your family, my friend.


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## Lenfer (Aug 15, 2011)

There is nothing wrong with you *Violadude* it's an instinct thing like *Emie* said. If it helps it's not just a male thing I have in the past disliked the boyfriend/girlfriend of my sibs. I think it's more prominent in men when it comes to their female relatives as men tend be more territorial in nature. Here is someone unrelated to you comming into your home and theoretically taking your sister away the same could apply to a daughter etc.

You could also just not like his dumb face, everyone has someone they just don't like. If my other half were here he'd most likely tell you to have a "quite word" with the chap (think the *Godfather*). 

The fact that you felt the need to post this here shows that your actually a very nice person (as if we didn't already know ). I don't think there is any malice in your feelings only the disire to see your sister safe and happy.

*Edit*:

I didn't read that far down before I posted. I try not to make snap judgments about people but he does sound like someone you'd like to punch over and over. I still stand by my statment I don't think your feelings are born from ill will but I could see why you hate the guy.


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## Klavierspieler (Jul 16, 2011)

violadude said:


> He does indeed have hair like Justin Bieber. He also makes stupid jokes. Not sure about the texting. She does text him quite a lot though. Do you have a sister that is dating the same type of guy?


No, but I know some other guys that fit the description.


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

From a parent's view (as I am a parent with 3 adult sons, ages 25, 29 and 33):

I'm thinking that you are a very close knit family ... and now for the first time in your family life, you have to share your sister with someone else. Doesn't matter what the guy is like or his personality - someone else has entered her life and is getting attention from the outsider ... and you are resisting that change --- it's quite normal in families with several siblings. 

Besides, this guy is someone she likes ... and if she is happy, then the rest of the family should be equally happy. It might be that things won't work out between your sister and her new beau ... time will tell. Give it a try for awhile ... nothing to lose but time. 

Kh


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

Sorry antique thread. She's probably married the moron and ready to pop out another moron by now 

Hey, it was a relief from neo-baroque bad amateur composers as the topic of the moment....


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

From my experience, the real antipathy is between a mother and her son's wife. They are rivals for the love of the same man and the mother thinks she knows all about him & has a primary call on his affection whereas the wife knows him as an adult who has changed. Despite the jokes about a man & his mother-in-law - jokes famously told in the UK by the late Les Dawson - that relationship isn't as fraught as mother-in-law/daughter-in-law.


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## BurningDesire (Jul 15, 2012)

violadude said:


> I don't know if I feel worn out around him...I tried talking to him a couple times and I couldn't get much out of him except basically "ya I like to surf huh huh." He kind of reminds me of a character from Beevus and Butthead. Maybe I am subconsciously an elitist and don't want my sister dating a dumbass.
> 
> But c'mon!! Under his political beliefs section on facebook it says: "Obama can go suck a large white cacckkkkkkkkkkkkk"
> 
> and no, I did not change that at all to make him seem dumber. That is exactly what it says.


Wow... he sounds like a dumbass XD


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