# Classical Music and being anti-social



## shangoyal (Sep 22, 2013)

Does being an ardent classical fan ensure a sort of anti-social nature? Do you find it impossibly difficult to mingle with people who don't like classical music? Or it does not matter for you, and you have learnt to keep your associations and your tastes in different baskets?

My guess is that almost everyone on this forum has had a time when they found that the pull of classical music was strong enough to make them forsake some friendships, events, etc which made them a slight outcast in their group. I could be wrong, though.

I believe that listening to classical music is a lot like prayer or meditation (especially those long Schubert movements), and almost like taking a journey into some imaginary space. And this journey cannot easily be reconciled with the present reality a lot of the times. Again, you can disagree with me.

Thoughts?


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

I have only ever been in schools and other places in which a fairly large number of my peers enjoy listening to and talking about classical music, soooooooo I find it impossible to answer your question.


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## Winterreisender (Jul 13, 2013)

I'm not sure if listening to classical in itself has a detrimental effect on one's social life. More problematic from my experience is the not-listening to pop music and the refusal to enter horrible venues where this infernal racket is blasted. Admittedly I can count the classical fans I know IRL on one hand. These are however among my closet friends, which is why I couldn't care less if mainstream society considers me an "outcast."


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

I can't imagine how enjoying classical music would hurt anyone's social life. Perhaps being a jerk about it could hurt, but... I'm sure none of us would know about that!


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

Hardly (if any) of my family, friends and colleagues are into classical so for me it is a fairly solitary pastime especially as I don't believe in getting preachy about how much I like it and how much they might like it if they gave it a chance. Forums such as this are enough for me, so I don't really feel the need for classical music-oriented social interaction on the 'outside'.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

This sounds like a rather "youthful" question and concern, in that if it is a question or concern at all, but a brief handful more years will have it answering itself.

I think that people who enjoy reading, writing, listening to music, painting, playing an instrument, or say research, etc. are more interior -- or introvert -- by nature and are much more comfortable being solitary, being engaged with something while in their own company and not finding anything lacking.

Whether it is extrovert or something other, there are those who very much feel the need of company, do not do much or any of those activities which are done solo. Some people are extremely uncomfortable without company around on a more frequent or even a near constant basis... i.e. that person who when alone leaves the television or talk radio on near all the time for its "people talking in the room" effect vs. actually watching or listening. Some people are completely unnerved to sit with no sound going on, radio, music, talk via some broadcast medium. Others are perfectly comfortable to sit alone in a quiet room.

Some of those activities you like and / or engage in which satisfy you more fully can be one way to measure a possible affinity with others, at least around those shared interests; in contrast if people are not interested in those things which you are, that can be a kind of general measure of differences in personal temperament.

These things are good to know and be aware of, that is all. I would not advocate making them the basis of the sole set of criteria as to whether you will or will not pursue acquaintances further.

I have friends quite dear to me who would be bored, and resentful, if they 'had to' sit through a classical concert, let alone one where the program had 20th century or later repertoire on it; they would also perhaps not be interested in going to a museum with me, etc. Conversely, I would be hard put to 'sit through' an entertainment program which holds their complete and rapt attention, or attend some other sort of exhibit with them.

I think there is a romantic myth that both your friends and your most significant other should 'like all the things you like.' The fact others are different from yourself is a good part of what makes -- and keeps -- them interesting to you, and vice versa.

The one thing I did gain from consciously realizing I was more interior -- and happy with my own company -- was to avoid getting in to either intimate relationships or very close friendships with those who have completely different needs and expectations of what company is, how much and how often they need and want it. Invariably, close friends or closer, the one who prefers a great deal of close time and companionship will be disappointed in the other; the other will just get irritated with the demands or complaints that they are not spending enough time with the one 

Your likes and dislikes can be a partial signifier as a set of signs about whom you would more prefer to spend time with, but it is not any hard and fast universally applied rule.

I think the TC membership probably has an extraordinarily high percentile of people who can and will put on a recording of a reasonably lengthy piece of music or an opera, and "just sit and listen." This in itself is far more rare than those of us who do it may think  Ergo, you can not use some of your preferences and habits as a measure for all the others around and about you, and I think you will find both those who do have more of an affinity with whom you can happily spend time together as as well as others whom you enjoy and have other sorts of connections which are quite different.

And yes, I have stayed at home rather than go see new film X with my friends -- because I knew the movie would not entertain me at all -- and my friends had a great time without me  They have done the same when I was going out to some thing or other, and I had a great time without them  The important part is we _are_ friends, and we can do those things apart, and other things together.

P.s. interesting different denoted by semantic / word usage.
People who like being on their own call that solitude.
People who rather don't like being on their own use 'alone / lonely'

I've always been amused if going out to eat somewhere there is real service, and the host or waiter will inquire, 'are you dining alone tonight?' I've come to answer, "Yes, I'm with myself." BTW, often when doing that, I bring a book... like conversation, it prevents you from just wolfing down the meal.


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## Guest (Aug 2, 2014)

science said:


> I can't imagine how enjoying classical music would hurt anyone's social life. Perhaps being a jerk about it could hurt, but... I'm sure none of us would know about that!


Me: "Sorry man, I'm too busy today."
In The Back Of My Mind: "That would cut into my music time."

But really, a person like me would find other excuses if classical music weren't around.


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## Couac Addict (Oct 16, 2013)

I admit that my powdered wig and acute syphilis does put some people off...but I feel right at home at a KISS concert.


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## sdtom (Jul 7, 2014)

I do find it a bit frustrating sometimes because there is no one to talk to about classical music. Believe me when I say that these forums do help.
Tom


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## DiesIraeCX (Jul 21, 2014)

sdtom said:


> I do find it a bit frustrating sometimes because there is no one to talk to about classical music. Believe me when I say that these forums do help.
> Tom


I second this entirely. To the OP, none of my friends listen to Classical like I do, I'm unable to talk to them about it but that has zero effect on my relationship with them.
I would like to talk with some like-minded people on the subject, but if I can't, it's not gonna effect who I hang out with or talk to. That's what this forum is for, it's very nice to discuss something you're passionate about with other people


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## brotagonist (Jul 11, 2013)

As a teenager/young adult, listening to music together was a major aspect of socializing, so having similar tastes seemed important (although most of my friends of the time were very much interested in hearing a wide variety of different things). As an adult, sitting around listening to albums together is not something I ever do anymore. I cannot think of any instance when I forsook a friendship because the other person didn't like classical music. That sounds bizarre. Music listening is a personal activity, a hobby, something I do when I'm home, not when I'm with others. When I am with other people, I am there to be around them, to enjoy their company, not to escape into movies, albums, etc. Of course, music as a background is frequently an aspect of socializing (at parties, attending festivals, etc.). I can usually get into it, even if it isn't my preferred genre. When I want to really listen, I go home.


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## Weston (Jul 11, 2008)

Fortunately for me in my late teens progressive rock was all the rage. This can be so close to classical in some aspects I did have a lot to socialize about. Now that I am older I don't need music for socializing. While I admit to being an extreme recluse by choice, I don't think music has anything to do with it.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

I was a junior in high school, already owning the LP two-disc box set of The Complete (not quite, actually) music of Edgard Varèse. that year, the Chicago Symphony ran a contemporary music series, performing in Mandel Hall at the University of Chicago. One of those programs was all Varèse, which I happily attended.

The OP made me wonder if instead of just going on my own, if I had even thought to ask one of my high school pals to accompany me.

Wanna go to a concert? All Varèse, and it is a mere 11 miles from my place, a public transit bus, transfer to the Elevated train, get off downtown, then take a commuter train, then about a seven or eight block walk -- ca. 1 mile -- to the hall (about 11 miles total.)

Yeah, right 

Imagining anyone's reaction to that invitation is an opportunity for conjectural comedy!

You determine that some things you will just do by yourself. After the Varèse concert, I hitched a ride back up north with one of the symphony players, a reed player who was on alto sax that performance, had a nice talk about music during the ride.
Other concerts, I met people around my own age _in the hall, at intermission, after the concert,_ simply by one or the other striking up a conversation about the concert itself. That, really, is where you find those who are also interested in the same stuff, and sometimes they become friendly acquaintances and or friends.


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## Stargazer (Nov 9, 2011)

elgars ghost said:


> Hardly (if any) of my family, friends and colleagues are into classical so for me it is a fairly solitary pastime especially as I don't believe in getting preachy about how much I like it and how much they might like it if they gave it a chance.


This is how I feel - I only know 2 people that like classical like I do, and they are both over the age of 60. I would absolutely love to find someone closer to my own age who is interested in it, but thus far I haven't come across anyone.


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## Couac Addict (Oct 16, 2013)

I think social media has widened the playing field. Since I've been in Paris, concert halls have groups...meaning that you join the group and when you book a ticket, you'll be sitting with others from that group. The idea is so that people don't have to attend concerts alone (I assume this is happening everywhere). There's different groups for different ages etc.

Since social media, we've noticed a trend where the groups are meeting up when there's no performance happening. They're just meeting up for drinks or whatever.


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## millionrainbows (Jun 23, 2012)

I think that listening to music, any music, on CD through speakers or headphones, is by nature a solitary pursuit. If live music is presented in a social setting, that is different. 

Music no longer has the social function it used to. Nobody I know ever gets together and listens to music; they might watch a movie on DVD, but not music.

The alienated consumer of music as acommodity is a solitary animal; opera on DVD has a much better chance of creating a social experience.

We listen to music when we drive our cars, or when we jog.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

shangoyal said:


> Does being an ardent classical fan ensure a sort of anti-social nature? Do you find it impossibly difficult to mingle with people who don't like classical music? Or it does not matter for you, and you have learnt to keep your associations and your tastes in different baskets?
> 
> My guess is that almost everyone on this forum has had a time when they found that the pull of classical music was strong enough to make them forsake some friendships, events, etc which made them a slight outcast in their group. I could be wrong, though.
> 
> ...


Absolutely! Growing up, I was already deeply immersed in classical music by the time I was 10. My friends knew nothing about this type of music and I kept my love of it a secret as if I was committing some sort of crime in listening to it. I had no choice. I would have been ostracized if they found out.

Eventually, as time went by, I found myself having fewer friends as I grew more inward and spent more of my time in my room listening to music.

Dating was no easier. 9 out of 10 girls I went out with were into loud rock music; something I had no interest in. When I told them I liked classical music, they considered me to be a "weirdo".

I would say loving something so specialized, with the unfair stigmas that society has attached has made me anti-social.

So the choice was, be liked and give up the music I love or be ignored and continue the love affair. I chose the latter and it hasn't been easy regarding social relationships, that's for damn sure!


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

hpowders said:


> Absolutely! Growing up, I was already deeply immersed in classical music by the time I was 10. My friends knew nothing about this type of music and I kept my love of it a secret as if I was committing some sort of crime in listening to it. I had no choice. I would have been ostracized if they found out.
> 
> Eventually, as time went by, I found myself having fewer friends as I grew more inward and spent more of my time in my room listening to music.
> 
> ...


Awwww. Pardon this tear








But, yeah, kinda like it sorta is or can be....


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## Dustin (Mar 30, 2012)

I've never really been able to peg myself as either introverted or extroverted. I think I'm one of those ones that swings from one end of the pendulum to the other. One day, I can be the happiest person in the world to sit alone in my room and listen to classical music or read a book, but then the pull of being around people starts to grab hold of me and I can go and be one of the most outgoing people at a party. 

As far as the fact that I enjoy classical music hindering or helping me socially, it definitely helps me, although rarely. I still love almost all other music so if someone I'm with doesn't like classical, we just don't talk about it.


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## SeptimalTritone (Jul 7, 2014)

Dear lord hpowders... whenever I'm talking to a hot girl and at some point in time the topic of musical tastes comes up and I inevitably say classical... she always looks at me like I'm a freak who actually _enjoys_ eating his vegetables!!!!!! Just by saying I like classical I've alienated the girl. 

Well, if Schoenberg (eww....) can do it... I can get a girlfriend too! Eventually...


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## bigshot (Nov 22, 2011)

shangoyal said:


> Does being an ardent classical fan ensure a sort of anti-social nature? Do you find it impossibly difficult to mingle with people who don't like classical music? Or it does not matter for you, and you have learnt to keep your associations and your tastes in different baskets? My guess is that almost everyone on this forum has had a time when they found that the pull of classical music was strong enough to make them forsake some friendships, events, etc which made them a slight outcast in their group.


That sounds more like mild autism than music appreciation to me.


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## bigshot (Nov 22, 2011)

millionrainbows said:


> Music no longer has the social function it used to. Nobody I know ever gets together and listens to music; they might watch a movie on DVD, but not music.


Me and my friends do that. But when we listen, we don't tune each other out. We can enjoy each others' company without tuning the world out and focusing on nothing but the music. Some people think music should only be listened to like we watch movies at the theater... with the lights out and focused 100% on the program. That is completely wrong. Music is an audible form or architecture that you should live your life inside.


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## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

Increasingly being an introvert, it doesn't make any difference that I listen exclusively to classical music.


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## Sonata (Aug 7, 2010)

Never once have I felt like an outsider or weird, or "forsook" anyone for music. I HAVE spent way too much money on music that may have been able to be spent better on other things, but that goes for non-classical. I am a shy person but that has nothing to do with my musical taste. If anything, my musical interests have been a talking point, patients and coworkers are actually rather intruiged that I am taking piano lessons in my 30s. And my piano instructor is so much fun I've actually INCREASED social connection with this.


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## mirepoix (Feb 1, 2014)

Not in my experience, no. Or at least, I'm not aware of it.
None of my friends share my love for classical music. But they've simply accepted that what I listen to (and how I listen to it - most often alone and undisturbed) is part of who I am.


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

Stargazer said:


> This is how I feel - I only know 2 people that like classical like I do, and they are both over the age of 60. I would absolutely love to find someone closer to my own age who is interested in it, but thus far I haven't come across anyone.


well, I'm 52 - so technically I'm closer to your age than the sexagenarians you already know. I guess that isn't too appealing, though :lol:


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

shangoyal said:


> *Does being an ardent classical fan ensure a sort of anti-social nature?*


No, but you may not like to be interrupted when you have your headphones on, but that isn't anti-social in itself

*shangoyal: Do you find it impossibly difficult to mingle with people who don't like classical music? *

No, I learnt decades ago that you can like different books/music/food/wine/recreational activities/politics/football team (delete as appropriate) and still be friends with someone

*shangoyal: Or it does not matter for you, and you have learnt to keep your associations and your tastes in different baskets?*
It only matters if you want to be in a flock of sheep-minded people

*shangoyal: My guess is that almost everyone on this forum has had a time when they found that the pull of classical music was strong enough to make them forsake some friendships, events, etc which made them a slight outcast in their group. *

Nope. Not been my experience - most adults can accept differences as being valuable. Those that can't are unlikely to appeal to me anyway

*shangoyal:  I believe that listening to classical music is a lot like prayer or meditation (especially those long Schubert movements), and almost like taking a journey into some imaginary space. And this journey cannot easily be reconciled with the present reality a lot of the times. *

Music/art/poetry/sport/recreational activity (delete as required) might sometimes mean you focus more on your interests than on socialisation ... its only a problem if you crave companionship all the time

There's only one way of life .... and that's your own!


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

hpowders said:


> Dating was no easier. 9 out of 10 girls I went out with were into loud rock music; something I had no interest in. When I told them I liked classical music, they considered me to be a "weirdo".


Try telling them you're a birder too .... and see them fly!


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## mirepoix (Feb 1, 2014)

Stargazer said:


> This is how I feel - I only know 2 people that like classical like I do, and they are both over the age of 60. I would absolutely love to find someone closer to my own age who is interested in it, but thus far I haven't come across anyone.


I don't know if it's a method you would consider or not, but if you haven't already tried it perhaps you could see if meetup.com have a group near your area? It seems to not only cover a wide range of interests, but also age groups.


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## arpeggio (Oct 4, 2012)

*Amateur Musician*

I am fortunate enough to be able to play an instrument and be a member of several amateur music groups. Because of this I am constantly in contact with many people who share my interests in music. On a weekly basis I have personal contact with up to a hundred musicians, families and their friends who are actively involved with making music. Maybe this is the reason I am so optimistic concerning the fate of classical music. 

Outside of these social circles I hardly know anyone who is really into classical music. Maybe the reason a person has negative feeling concerning the state of classical music is because he has little social contact with other people who share his interests.


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## Guest (Aug 3, 2014)

I was anti-social long before I became a fan of classical music. Perhaps that's how it works.


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## Blake (Nov 6, 2013)

arcaneholocaust said:


> I was anti-social long before I became a fan of classical music. Perhaps that's how it works.


This is pretty much what I was thinking. I've had my share of different relationships and social gatherings, but I was never overly fond or attached to any of them. It left me feeling more exhausted than anything. As if I just got done acting some part in a play.

I think that's why I'm drawn to forums like this... I can talk to people, and then they'll leave me alone when the conversation is done.


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## CypressWillow (Apr 2, 2013)

I'm reminded of the entry in Ambrose Bierce's _The Devil's Dictionary_

Alone adj. In bad company

Even when I'm at a concert or recital with someone, I make sure that they understand before it begins that *I am alone once the music starts!* I'll be with the music until Intermission, period. Then I'll be with you.

Makes for a lot fewer dates.


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

I tend towards isolation, but it has very little do with my musical preferences.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

CypressWillow said:


> I'm reminded of the entry in Ambrose Bierce's _The Devil's Dictionary_
> 
> Alone adj. In bad company
> 
> ...


Brava! __________________


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## shangoyal (Sep 22, 2013)

Headphone Hermit said:


> No, but you may not like to be interrupted when you have your headphones on, but that isn't anti-social in itself
> 
> *shangoyal: Do you find it impossibly difficult to mingle with people who don't like classical music? *
> 
> ...


Well said! All of it.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Headphone Hermit said:


> Try telling them you're a birder too .... and see them fly!


I didn't want to be arrested for being a public nuisance, so I kept that fact quiet.


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## Lukecash12 (Sep 21, 2009)

PetrB said:


> I think that people who enjoy reading, writing, listening to music, painting, playing an instrument, or say research, etc. are more interior -- or introvert -- by nature and are much more comfortable being solitary, being engaged with something while in their own company and not finding anything lacking.


Personally, I think labels like introvert and extrovert are all to easy and not exactly representative of what's really going on. Even many people who call themselves introverts have friends and of course find it necessary to be social on some level in order to lead their lives. And those people aren't necessarily the more "artsy, intelligent, pensive, and cerebral" types. Extroverts on the other hand can enjoy things like classical music too, and I'm sure there are a number of them here.

Honestly, I think it's easier to see this idea using two different scales to identify a number of different types. Everyone to some extent is both an introvert and an extrovert, yet more often than not they lean towards one more than the other. On the other scale we can observe that some people are at home with others, they recharge their batteries by being with other people, and others recharge their batteries by being alone as they find it takes effort being with people, that it can be exhausting to try and please people or relate with them. Now it might seem that these two scales are one and the same but people are subjected to different circumstances, have different goals, or they are able to compensate with a certain amount of deviation from what feels more natural to them.

Actually, more often than not when you find a person that sticks towards one end more strictly they have a social or neurological disorder (there is a notable difference between the two). I find myself pretty firmly rooted on the introverted end because my brain is simply chemically different, while someone else might find him/her self at one extreme because of a personality disorder.


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

In my experience, most people are casual music listeners and couldn't care less that one listens to Classical or anything else. Music is a big deal to members of this forum but most are primarily visual creatures.


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## Conky (Apr 1, 2013)

The only problem I have is that, while discussing music is a perfectly acceptable way to socialize, it's a no-go between classical people and non-classical people because the gulf is so wide. If you think about it, most popular music is limited to one genre (song), and is mostly limited to three emotions (happy/sad/angry). The idea that music could sound _sarcastic_ or _gloating_ (e.g. Shostakovich) is alien to most people.

Not to degrade popular music, of course.


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## SONNET CLV (May 31, 2014)

shangoyal said:


> Does being an ardent classical fan ensure a sort of anti-social nature? Do you find it impossibly difficult to mingle with people who don't like classical music? Or it does not matter for you, and you have learnt to keep your associations and your tastes in different baskets?
> 
> My guess is that almost everyone on this forum has had a time when they found that the pull of classical music was strong enough to make them forsake some friendships, events, etc which made them a slight outcast in their group. I could be wrong, though.
> 
> ...


I would love to answer your question, but I'm so anti-social that I neither subscribe to nor partake in internet social forums, such as this one ... nor do I want to, even if I did. Thus, any response from me remains utterly impossible ... not that I'd ever even think of responding, even if I could.

PS -- *Stay away*. Currently listening to classical music.


Posted by the SONNET CLV Robo-Post. No contact information available.


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## billeames (Jan 17, 2014)

I have heard from a record store manager that some pretty evil people like classical music. I dont personally know if that is really true, but it is an interesting theory. In "Cape Fear" 1991 version, Max Cady listens to Donanzetti Opera on the way to the airport to spy on Sam Bowden the clumsy lawyer. Max is of course evil in the extreme, but sophisticated (knows the Bible somewhat well and is law educated somewhat).

I married a hater of classical music (except for Baroque music: Handel Water Music, Vivaldi 4 Seasons). We get along. In order to get married to me he had a test: To listen to at least part of Saint Johns Passion (live concert). She did but not all. Thats OK. It to me is not very exciting. She has gone to a Bruckner 4 concert when dating, but she prefers pop. I have gone to a few pop concerts as well. I almost did not marry her. She hates Mahler, and I love Mahler. She thinks Beethoven is dissonant. 

I have only 2 friends who like classical. One lives in Canada. The other one rarely comes over. So I listen alone 99% of the time which is fine. One of our lady friends listened to 3 minutes of Brahms 1 that's all she wanted (she listened to Tchaikovsky Capriccio Italian all the way through though. She, my wife, and I love visual shows like 24, Homeland, Breaking Bad, and some movies. So we have visual entertainment in common. 

Fascinating thread. Thanks. (Most people I know seem to like pop (Beatles, Stones, country, christian, or jazz)

Bill


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Some of us have nobody to talk to about their love of classical music, which is why this site is so popular.


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## MrCello (Nov 25, 2011)

I must admit that I have awkward music conversations with friends, since most of them listen to pop and I have no idea what the hell they're talking about.


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

billeames said:


> I have heard from a record store manager that some pretty evil people like classical music. QUOTE]
> 
> .... is this a surprise?
> 
> There is a trite view that exposure to 'high culture' leads to 'personal improvement' and is de facto a 'good thing'. Those who hold such views cannot have read much history or looked around the world with open eyes


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## dgee (Sep 26, 2013)

Haha! ^^^ Hannibal Lector and a whole lot of sinister high society baddies feel comforted by the formal symmetry and reassuring "good taste" of the great composers! Schubert, Mozart, Bach! You don't see them licking their evil lips or hatching their evil plans to Schoenberg or Xenakis, do you? Modernism, it's the music of the good guys


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## Triplets (Sep 4, 2014)

shangoyal said:


> Does being an ardent classical fan ensure a sort of anti-social nature? Do you find it impossibly difficult to mingle with people who don't like classical music? Or it does not matter for you, and you have learnt to keep your associations and your tastes in different baskets?
> 
> My guess is that almost everyone on this forum has had a time when they found that the pull of classical music was strong enough to make them forsake some friendships, events, etc which made them a slight outcast in their group. I could be wrong, though.
> 
> ...


I have definitely felt that way. That is why I like forums such as this one, to find like minded people.


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

dgee said:


> Haha! ^^^ Hannibal Lector and a whole lot of sinister high society baddies feel comforted by the formal symmetry and reassuring "good taste" of the great composers! Schubert, Mozart, Bach! You don't see them licking their evil lips or hatching their evil plans to Schoenberg or Xenakis, do you? Modernism, it's the music of the good guys


Yes indeed - as if they're saying it's OK to be evil but it's extremely bad form to appreciate 'decadent' art.


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## stevens (Jun 23, 2014)

I am a very social person and enjoy smalltalking whith friends (and others) But I have absolutely no one to share my deepest interest whith, I often feel extremely alone. Thats a tragedy in my life.


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

stevens said:


> I am a very social person and enjoy smalltalking whith friends (and others) But I have absolutely no one to share my deepest interest whith, I often feel extremely alone. Thats a tragedy in my life.



I'm the opposite - my singular pastime makes me feel like a one-man illuminati. :lol:


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## Centropolis (Jul 8, 2013)

I don't find it hard to be socialable and to discuss classical music with my friends. They actually find it interesting because they learn a little bit about it. As long as you don't live under a rock and don't know who Radiohead, Neil Young, Norah Jones and JayZ is, the conversations about music can be very diverse and classical music is just a part of it. And my enjoyment of classical music hasn't got to a point where it's affecting my life that much.


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

Headphone Hermit said:


> billeames said:
> 
> 
> > I have heard from a record store manager that some pretty evil people like classical music. QUOTE]
> ...


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

stevens said:


> I am a very social person and enjoy smalltalking whith friends (and others) But I have absolutely no one to share my deepest interest whith, I often feel extremely alone. Thats a tragedy in my life.


That's a real shame, pal!

It is very nice to be able to chat to someone about the stuff that you like. There are rather a lot of us out there, but many of us are hermits because we don't find the others nearby. TC is good .... but the face-to-face (or even ear-to-ear) interaction is what you seem to seek. Keep looking - you may find it sometime.

Good luck, Stevens


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

I suspect that this 'antisocial' label comes from saying [STFU] to people who are talking while you are trying to listen. Even after several communications prefaced by 'please', which are never taken into account.


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## ribonucleic (Aug 20, 2014)

On my computer at work, the Desktop picture is currently the first page of Mozart's manuscript for the Requiem. I imagine that my co-workers - to whatever degree they've noticed it - find it a bit "Other".

But if the choice is between communing with Mozart or them...


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## Celloissimo (Mar 29, 2013)

I don't see how enjoying and appreciating art in any way impedes your social skills. :/ 

If you're an elitist snob who bashes other people's music, then you might be isolating yourself, but I've never seen this phenomenon occur among people who enjoy/play classical music.


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## ribonucleic (Aug 20, 2014)

Marschallin Blair said:


> "O Goneril, you are not worth the dust which the rude wind blows in your face."


The first time I started actually reading Shakespeare, I kept thinking, "You know, this guy can really turn a phrase."

One of the bigger "Well, duh" experiences in my life.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I've always been an introvert, though people who meet me say "No way!" as I can easily be socially engaging, though I find "lilting small talk" soooo boring. 

My interest in classical music fits right in with this description of myself. I hate going to concerts, having to mix with humanity and prefer to listen alone in my room.


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## Divasin (Aug 8, 2014)

elgars ghost said:


> Hardly (if any) of my family, friends and colleagues are into classical so for me it is a fairly solitary pastime especially as I don't believe in getting preachy about how much I like it and how much they might like it if they gave it a chance. Forums such as this are enough for me, so I don't really feel the need for classical music-oriented social interaction on the 'outside'.


Very well said... my sentiments exactly!


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Divasin said:


> Very well said... my sentiments exactly!


My situation except my son is very into classical and we are going to two concerts coming up (Messiah and Elijah). My wife will come along but is not into the music, but I am hoping it rubs off on her.


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

Florestan said:


> My situation except my son is very into classical and we are going to two concerts coming up (Messiah and Elijah). My wife will come along but is not into the music, but I am hoping it rubs off on her.


That's great. The only places my father ever took me to when I was a kid were bars.


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## ArtMusic (Jan 5, 2013)

shangoyal said:


> Does being an ardent classical fan ensure a sort of anti-social nature? Do you find it impossibly difficult to mingle with people who don't like classical music? Or it does not matter for you, and you have learnt to keep your associations and your tastes in different baskets?
> 
> My guess is that almost everyone on this forum has had a time when they found that the pull of classical music was strong enough to make them forsake some friendships, events, etc which made them a slight outcast in their group. I could be wrong, though.
> 
> ...


My friends talk about CM with me a lot. But we share interest about other things not just CM. We also talk about other things in entertainment like movies. So it's not just a single street conversation about CM but about lots of things. That helps.


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