# Unusual (fake) instruments



## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

Just been listening to






and suddenly thought that sounds a bit weird.

Checked the sleeve notes and found that on track 16 where the matelots should be playing "trompettes marines"






they were in fact playing kazoos.

Anybody else come across this sort of fakery, and what do you think of it?


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

Bye the bye, I love the CD and think that the kazoos make an interestingly irreverent sound - well in keeping with the idea of "trompettes marines" without all the trouble.


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## Eschbeg (Jul 25, 2012)

I'll have to look up the exact recording, but I seem to remember a mild controversy a few years ago caused by a recording of a Baroque opera that "simulated" the sound of a castrato by digitally synthesizing a countertenor and a soprano. On one side some listeners argued that the use of electronic manipulation guaranteed a result that would be in no way comparable to an actual castrato; while on the other side some argued that the use of either a countertenor or a soprano alone would similarly guarantee something in no way comparable to an actual castrato, and that an electronic synthesis of the two is therefore the closest we'll ever get.


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## DrKilroy (Sep 29, 2012)

What about the use of mouth organ instead of glass harmonica in Saint-Saens' Carnival of Animals - Aquarium? 

Best regards, Dr


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Eschbeg, you'd think people would be grateful that they didn't create an authentic sound by the only reliable means!


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

Eschbeg said:


> ... I seem to remember a mild controversy a few years ago caused by a recording of a Baroque opera that "simulated" the sound of a castrato by digitally synthesizing a countertenor and a soprano.





Ingenue said:


> Eschbeg, you'd think people would be grateful that they didn't create an authentic sound by the only reliable means!


Brings tears to ones eyes.


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## Eschbeg (Jul 25, 2012)

Taggart said:


> Brings tears to ones eyes.


Talk of castrati does give me a nearly physical reaction, yes, but not in my eyes...


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Contrabass Balalaika:









Seeing the thread's title, this immediately came to mind because it really goes under the category of "fake." The balalaika is indeed a real Russian folk instrument. However, it was never in existence as such a great size as the one above, which is really an invention for the purpose of making balalaika orchestras. It started in the 19th and 20th centuries in Russia to make even such bizarre sizes as weren't found in real folk music.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Subcontrabass flute. Why does it exist? Same reason as the contrabass balalaika, to make flute choirs:


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Don't forget the Subcontrabass Banjo! A personal favourite


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## Kivimees (Feb 16, 2013)

How about the wind machine?


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

^ you mean the Higgs "boson" Basoon ???


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## Kivimees (Feb 16, 2013)

I found a picture:


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

Years ago, in the series of Unusual Concertos in my blog, I wrote a spoof review about a concerto for tuned clogs and orchestra as an April Fool's post. Some people fell for it and wanted to know where they could get hold of it.


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

Huilunsoittaja said:


> Contrabass Balalaika:
> 
> View attachment 14601
> 
> ...


We saw what looked like an even larger version on Saturday when we saw the Russian State Dance Ensemble of Astrahan doing a programme of Cossack dances. The backing "orchestra" was excellent and used a range of balalaikas, flutes, guitars and Russian style bayan accordions.


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> ^ you mean the Higgs "boson" Basoon ???


I thought that was only used in religious music for mass?


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

When I first heard the Lully kazoos, I honestly thought it was people playing comb-and-tissue paper. This thread has got me remembering a variety act of the 1950s - a couple playing a glockenspiel made of glass bottles filled with different levels of water. There are also spoons - packing cases, as in Buddy Holly - and the skiffle group washboard. Metal saws. No doubt some sort of 'harp' could be improvised with elastic bands. Such fun, if someone could write a Fakery Fantasia...


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## ptr (Jan 22, 2013)

This makes me think of all the brilliant works the late *Gerard Hoffnung* had his all to serious croonies write for the festivals that bore his name!

It's a quite stimulating exercise for one's laughter reflexes to seek out the recordings that where issued of these! I'm all to sure that there was a piece for *Hoover* in there somewhere...

/ptr


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

You're probably thinking of Malcolm Arnold's A grand grand overture, which includes parts for vacuum cleaner, polishing machines and rifle.


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## ptr (Jan 22, 2013)

Art Rock said:


> You're probably thinking of Malcolm Arnold's A grand grand overture, which includes parts for vacuum cleaner, polishing machines and rifle.


Quite possibly, I unfortunately have my EMI/Angels LP sets in storage so I can't verify my memory! 

/ptr


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## ahammel (Oct 10, 2012)

The Parsifal bells.

Way to score an instrument that doesn't actually exist, RW.


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

Schoenberg's Five Pieces for Orchestra Op. 16, in its original scoring, calls for "contrabass clarinet in A". No such instrument has ever existed. Real contrabass clarinets are pitched in B-flat.


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## Kieran (Aug 24, 2010)

Mahlerian said:


> Schoenberg's Five Pieces for Orchestra Op. 16, in its original scoring, calls for "contrabass clarinet in A". No such instrument has ever existed. Real contrabass clarinets are pitched in B-flat.


So was he being mischievous, leaving the choice to the performers to substitute or else use the real contrabass clarinet?

Interesting!


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## Kivimees (Feb 16, 2013)

If I'm not mistaken Paul Hindemith composed a work (Kammermusik?) that required a siren.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Kivimees said:


> If I'm not mistaken Paul Hindemith composed a work (Kammermusik?) that required a siren.


HAHA Good one! The siren is used in several avant-garde compositions, most notably the compositions of Varese. Yeah, the siren... fake instrument. :lol:


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

George Antheil's "Ballet Mécanique" (1925) was scored for 16 specially synchronized player pianos, two grand pianos, electronic bells, xylophones, bass drums, a siren, and three airplane propellers. He went on to fame, famously, by teaming with actress Hedy Lamarr to invent spread-spectrum radio. I'm not making this up...


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## Head_case (Feb 5, 2010)

This is a normal recorder - a subcontrabass. They didn't have these in the consort days. It's not that it's big (only 8ft). It's just that some women are very small


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

KenOC said:


> George Antheil's "Ballet Mécanique" (1925) was scored for 16 specially synchronized player pianos, two grand pianos, electronic bells, xylophones, bass drums, a siren, and three airplane propellers. He went on to fame, famously, by teaming with actress Hedy Lamarr to invent spread-spectrum radio. I'm not making this up...


That's what happens when you give up Ecstasy and marry a torpedo mechanic. Just shows what a film star and a player piano mechanism can do!


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

^^^ Ecstasy above is the title of Lamarr's most famous film.


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