# The zombie apocalpse - your plans?



## Merl (Jul 28, 2016)

Just supposing that Nostradamus was correct (wasn't he always?) and the dead will rise around the time of the Olympics, what are your plans for the forthcoming zombie apocalypse? Have you already earmarked a good, sfae location to stay, away from the baying herds of flesh-eaters? Do you have a decent armoury to survive? What will you eat? Will that Shostakovich boxset you ordered from Amazon arrive before it begins? Your thoughts, please.


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

Lunch, I think, and then a bit of a stroll. Oh, by the way, I may have decided to stay on in Shetland for a bit...


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## Merl (Jul 28, 2016)

TurnaboutVox said:


> Lunch, I think, and then a bit of a stroll. Oh, by the way, I may have decided to stay on in Shetland for a bit...


Shetland would be a good location (unless the zombies float out to there).


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## Dim7 (Apr 24, 2009)

If zombies are anything like in the movies (stupid, clumsy and slow), we have nothing to fear.


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

Just at the moment they'd be swept past us towards Archangel. Did you see that the winds are so high out here that an oil rig blew away last night?


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

TurnaboutVox said:


> Lunch, I think, and then a bit of a stroll. Oh, by the way, I may have decided to stay on in Shetland for a bit...


Post of the day. :tiphat:


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2016)

Would it interfere with my ability to get hummus?


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

Are you (Merl) envisaging a scenario where society falls apart and law and order break down?

If so, I shall pop round a few army bases and gun shops and acquire a huge arsenal, followed by a visit to Tesco for lots of tinned food. Then I shall find a large steam roller, weld armour all over it and drive it over any zombies that get too close.

After that I shall have a light lunch and a bottle of Burgundy.


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

dogen said:


> Would it interfere with my ability to get hummus?


You could stockpile tins of chickpeas and olive oil.


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2016)

Dr Johnson said:


> You could stockpile tins of chickpeas and olive oil.


Cheers. Crisis averted.


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2016)

Dr Johnson said:


> Are you (Merl) envisaging a scenario where society falls apart and law and order break down?
> 
> If so, I shall pop round a few army bases and gun shops and acquire a huge arsenal, followed by a visit to Tesco for lots of tinned food. Then I shall find a large steam roller, weld armour all over it and drive it over any zombies that get too close.
> 
> *After that I shall have a light lunch and a bottle of Burgundy*.


I think - given the grave crisis that a zombie apocalypse represents - it is important whether one resists the onslaught with a red as opposed to a white Burgundy. Can you tell us what is your viticultural arm of preference, Doc?


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

TalkingHead said:


> I think - given the grave crisis that a zombie apocalypse represents - it is important whether one resists the onslaught with a red as opposed to a white Burgundy. Can you tell us what is your viticultural arm of preference, Doc?


Pinot Noir! What else?


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2016)

Will there be time to set up a whisky still? Nothing fancy, just the basic kit.


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## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

TalkingHead said:


> I think - given the *grave crisis* that a zombie apocalypse represents - it is important whether one resists the onslaught with a red as opposed to a white Burgundy. Can you tell us what is your viticultural arm of preference, Doc?


Am I right to understand a grave crisis as a crisis with graves? But there will be a zombie number of empty graves available, so what's the crisis in this crisis?


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## Merl (Jul 28, 2016)

Yes, I am expecting a full breakdown of society as we know it (although Sizzlers takeaway near me will no doubt still be taking orders). However, hummus is foul stuff and will not be making it to where I'm going (although I may stockpile maltloafs and fruit salad Chewits - even though they aren't as good as the old Trebor ones). I'm still unsure whether to go for an island or rural location though. There's lots of lovely whisky distilleries up here that are very defendable, though, and close to rivers. A prime place to restart civilization. I may stop at a music shop on the way and bag a Taylor acoustic too.


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2016)

TxllxT said:


> Am I right to understand a grave crisis as a crisis with *grave*s? But there will be a zombie number of empty graves available, so what's the crisis in this crisis?


I meant there would also be a crisis in production of the wonderful Graves red wine (Bordeaux) due to the zombie apocalypse!


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2016)

A life without hummus is a life not worth living.

Tonight's tipple: Inchgower 18yo single cask.

Oops, sorry wrong thread.


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## Abraham Lincoln (Oct 3, 2015)

Technically the Pokémon zombie apocalypse is already here.


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## Xenakiboy (May 8, 2016)

I'll get out my barbecue, que loud opera and relax on my porch with a beer, tongs, Hawaiian hat, sunglasses and a book on philosophy to keep me amused at the funny looking zombies.


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## georgedelorean (Aug 18, 2017)

From a purely scientific POV, it'd fail before it even got started. From a rhetorical POV, make sure my ammo is fully stocked, my guns are fully functional, and I'm ready to kick some zombie butt.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

I'll just head for my dug out in Coober Pedy


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