# Couchie and Polednice



## Polednice

Couchie and I had a little run in with each other at my mansion this week. I'm sure you'll notice that the image Couchie uses around these parts must have been taken by a professional photographer who was rather generous with air-brushing - his everyday appearance, as captured by my in-house slave, is much less flattering.

I must admit, I was shocked at first by the sheer size of this beast, but a vampire pig's cunning cannot be outmatched. I managed to get the fellar in a collar and chain, and he has been submissive and well-behaved ever since.


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## Dodecaplex

Reminds me of childhood.


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## Polednice

Dodecaplex said:


> Reminds me of childhood.


Did you watch it when you were young too?! I thought I was the only one!


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## kv466

You two look very happy. I'm glad you've moved on.


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## Webernite

Now that he's tied up, make him listen to Brahms' Second Symphony.


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## science

Webernite said:


> Now that he's tied up, make him listen to Brahms' Second Symphony.


Repeatedly.

Until the screaming stops.


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## Webernite

Harnoncourt takes the repeat in the first movement, so use that recording. It goes on for 20 minutes that way.


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## Couchie

Polednice neglects to mention the above was directly preceded by his marriage proposal in which I had no choice but to reject him coldly. Now here I sit, tied up while the Brahms blares, as Polednice furiously searches his attic for the only Wagner record he owns, the Bridal March from Lohengrin.


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## Kopachris

It's like a regular, old TC dinner party again!


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## violadude

Kopachris said:


> It's like a regular, old TC dinner party again!


Why was I not invited?


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## Kopachris

violadude said:


> Why was I not invited?


Because the only picture I had was before you were invited. You're welcome to invite yourself (i.e. edit the image of your choice into the picture), though!


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## science

If we'd had an under-the-table shot there, we'd see that for the special occasion Burns wore a pair of pink stilettos: me on the right, and on the left my evil twin, religion.


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## Couchie

Kopachris said:


> Because the only picture I had was before you were invited. You're welcome to invite yourself (i.e. edit the image of your choice into the picture), though!


Ie. every party violadude has ever "been" to.


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## Lukecash12

I swear, you'd think that they were the playboys of Talk Classical. But I guess it's legitimately part of the TC experience to read one of these inane threads every day you decide to come here.


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## Polednice

Lukecash12 said:


> I swear, you'd think that they were the playboys of Talk Classical. But I guess it's legitimately part of the TC experience to read one of these inane threads every day you decide to come here.


Well, even if I say so myself, I think my particular brand of inanity and banality is a little more endearing than the vapidity and aimlessness of the "which is better, vanilla or chocolate?" threads.


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## violadude

Couchie said:


> Ie. every party violadude has ever "been" to.


Invitations are for squares.


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## StlukesguildOhio

Kopachris said:


> It's like a regular, old TC dinner party again!


And why was I not invited?


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## opus55

^^ you scared me for a second!


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## sospiro

I'd gate-crash this party but I haven't got Photoshop


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## Philip




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## starthrower

Polednice said:


>


You're plookin' too hard! Be tender with me.


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## sospiro

Philip said:


>


:lol:

Yay I'm watching them like some sort of time portal :devil:


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Philip said:


>


Where's the food?


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## Philip

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Where's the food?


to my right...


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Philip said:


> to my right...


I don't see it. Very poor service in my opinion. That's why I don't want to go to that silly dinner in that ugly old building. How long have you people in the pic been waiting at the table with nothing to do than be observed by that giant Wagner freak outside the window?


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## Philip

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I don't see it. Very poor service in my opinion. That's why I don't want to go to that silly dinner in that ugly old building. How long have you people in the pic been waiting at the table with nothing to do than be observed by that giant Wagner freak outside the window?


it's 18+ anyway


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Philip said:


> it's 18+ anyway


I am 54 years old.


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## Philip

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I am 54 years old.


I am Elvis.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Philip said:


> I am Elvis.


Elvis who?


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## Philip

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Elvis who?












You should know, you're 54, remember?


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Philip said:


> You should know, you're 54, remember?


What an ugly photograph. Is that you?


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## Philip

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> What an ugly photograph. Is that you?


Yes it was very humid that day and i had to gel my hair.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Philip said:


> Yes it was very humid that day and i had to gel my hair.


When was the photograph taken?


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## Huilunsoittaja

Dodecaplex said:


> Reminds me of childhood.


:lol: I love the vampire pig's voice.


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## Polednice

Huilunsoittaja said:


> :lol: I love the vampire pig's voice.


That was one of my favourite characteristics of his when I watched him as a child. Basically, I wanted to grow up, wear a tux 24/7, and sound like a snob. I think I managed two out of three.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Polednice said:


> That was one of my favourite characteristics of his when I watched him as a child. Basically, I wanted to grow up, wear a tux 24/7, and sound like a snob. I think I managed two out of three.


So you wear a tuxedo and sound like a snob?


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## Klavierspieler

Ahem:


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## StlukesguildOhio

And I *still* haven't been invited...

Damn you! Damn you all!!


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## science

I thought you were the one on the table.


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## Lenfer

This is quite fantastic! I lack the computer skills to have myself added to the picture sadly. 

If someone would be so kind as to inform me when prints go on sale. Oh! Maybe novelty T-shirts as well this could turn into quite the money maker. 

But just who is the jaundiced chap with the liver spots?

*Edit:*










A bit much...


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## Philip

Lenfer said:


> This is quite fantastic! I lack the computer skills to have myself added to the picture sadly.


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## Philip

with CSI enhancement:


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## notreally

deleted.....


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## notreally

Klavierspieler said:


> Ahem:


Wow, _Where's Waldo_ has changed a lot...


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## Philip

StlukesguildOhio said:


> And I *still* haven't been invited...
> 
> Damn you! Damn you all!!


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## Polednice

Philip said:


> with CSI enhancement:


Naturally, I am the only one not objectifying this woman.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Pfffft. You and your silly little dinner party in that cheap room with the ugly view of Couchie's backside. I'm glad I'm not in there.


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## Philip

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Pfffft. You and your silly little dinner party in that cheap room with the ugly view of Couchie's backside. I'm glad I'm not in there.


it's 18+ anyway


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Philip said:


> it's 18+ anyway


Thank you for establishing that again, Elvis. I hope the chef burns the food.


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## Philip

this could've been funny if you played along, but you ruined it.


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## PetrB

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Where's the food?


Dunno, but that broad outside that window - stage left - looks powerful hungry....


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Philip said:


> this could've been funny if you played along, but you ruined it.


I Don't want to talk to you no more, you Empty-headed animal food trough water. I fart in you general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. Go and boil your bottom, you son of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Presley-Elvis-man, you and all your silly American kannnniggets. PTHBTHPBHTBBTH










Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.


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## Lenfer

Philip said:


> with CSI enhancement:


Thank you ever so much *Philip* you a a star! This has made my day and is also my new desktop background. 

I've seen *C.S.I.* a few times if I'm not mistaken the red lasers are to show bullet trajectory!?

This has the makings of a very strange episode of *Poirot*...

Fear not *CAG* perhaps you are the detective stay tuned.


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## aleazk

man, this thread is definitely the most bizarre thing that I have seen in this forum!


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

aleazk said:


> man, this thread is definitely the most bizarre thing that I have seen in this forum!


Aleazk, can you be on my side with this one?


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## aleazk

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Aleazk, can you be on my side with this one?


tthe problem is that my english is not good enough as to write funny insults!!


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

aleazk said:


> tthe problem is that my english is not good enough as to write funny insults!!


Do them in Spanish.


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## PetrB

Polednice said:


> Did you watch it when you were young too?! I thought I was the only one!


I think the mental state and condition of childhood was what was being referenced, not the memory of...


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## aleazk

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Do them in Spanish.


la puta que te re pario pendejo australiano, vos me vas a venir a decir en que puto idioma de mierda tengo que insultar, anda re contra cagar. :lol::tiphat:


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## Klavierspieler

aleazk said:


> man, this thread is definitely the most bizarre thing that I have seen in this forum!


Cough:

Photoshop tennis


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## aleazk

Klavierspieler said:


> Cough:
> 
> Photoshop tennis


is not that nice?, CoAG was there too :lol::


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

aleazk said:


> la puta que te re pario pendejo australiano, vos me vas a venir a decir en que puto idioma de mierda tengo que insultar, anda re contra cagar. :lol::tiphat:


_La puta_ is in fact the only Spanish I know.


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## aleazk

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> _La puta_ is in fact the only Spanish I know.


haha, in fact, what I have written, only another argentine would understand it


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

aleazk said:


> haha, in fact, what I have written, only another argentine would understand it


I put it into an online translator and it came out "the ***** that you re ******* Australian pario, that you come to say **** language has to insult, anda re against ****."


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## aleazk

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I put it into an online translator and it came out "the ***** that you re ******* Australian pario, that you come to say **** language has to insult, anda re against ****."


hahahahaha, well, you will never know


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

aleazk said:


> hahahahaha, well, you will never know


Thou beslubbering fat-kidneyed fustilarian.


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## Lenfer

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> _La puta_ is in fact the only Spanish I know.


Mhmm is it now?  Naughty!


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## mstar

This is the most wonderfulest thread that was ever made. *sniffle*


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## clavichorder

aleazk said:


> la puta que te re pario pendejo australiano, vos me vas a venir a decir en que puto idioma de mierda tengo que insultar, anda re contra cagar. :lol::tiphat:


No entiendo nada, pero escuché que una palabra muy común en España es muy feo para los Argentinos.


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