# Members' Sex



## Margaret

I've been on a number of forums in the past and this forum is probably the hardest time I've had determining the sex of the members.

So many of the usernames don't give a clue. And as for the avatars since they tend to be of someone admired that's no aid there. Just the opposite, when I keep staring at a woman's photo every time I see your posts and you're a male, it has a tendency of making me associate "female" with you and vice versa if you're female with a male avatar. Based on the cartoon girl bunny rabbit with teddy bear avatar I thought I was fairly safe in believing post-minimalist was female, but I now know post-minimalist is male.

So I tried looking at people's profiles. But most of the people I checked had not loaded a photo of themselves in their profile. (I have loaded my photo in my profile. So in case anyone's in doubt of my sex you can look.)

Now you may be thinking "This is an internet forum. What does the sex of its members matter?" 

It may not matter to an internet forum, but it matters to English usage. Unless I go around referring to everyone as "you" or, even worse, "it" eventually I will be using personal pronouns. And, sooner or later, I will get some of those pronouns wrong. So apologies in advance for when I do.

Margaret


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## R-F

I'm male, if it helps...


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## handlebar

If my avatar does not give it away then I'm afraid i cannot help you LOL


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## Aramis

I also was suprised when I realized that there is no information about user's gender in profile. Why's that? I think it's important information.


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## Lang

When I saw the thread title I got all excited, thinking it was a proposal for an orgy. But then, that's what you expect from a male ...


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## Elgarian

handlebar said:


> If my avatar does not give it away then I'm afraid i cannot help you LOL


Can't you just give us a little clue, Jim?


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## World Violist

Lang said:


> When I saw the thread title I got all excited, thinking it was a proposal for an orgy. But then, that's what you expect from a male ...


um, wow...

Most forums of which I've been a part (not saying a whole lot...) have had genders on the members' profiles. Now you bring it up, I've had a good bit of confusion about that as well, although as Handlebar has so graciously offered up, his avatar is pretty blatantly male.

I think there should be a feature such as this on a forum that highlights such open and respectful discussion, as knowledge of the other person's gender is generally pretty much needed to be more open with a person.


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## handlebar

Lang said:


> When I saw the thread title I got all excited, thinking it was a proposal for an orgy. But then, that's what you expect from a male ...




Hmmmmmm

Jim


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## handlebar

Elgarian said:


> Can't you just give us a little clue, Jim?


Awww ok.

Nah, i changed my mind. 

Jim


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## Elgarian

handlebar said:


> Nah, i changed my mind.


OK then, but we'll need more time!


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## handlebar

Elgarian said:


> OK then, but we'll need more time!


Take ALL the time you want. I have nowhere to go.
Perhaps to go shave later but that might be about all. 

Jim


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## Herzeleide

Hermaphrodite.


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## Chi_townPhilly

Margaret said:


> So many of the usernames don't give a clue.


Hmmm- I never really looked at it that way. That's a nice observation. I guess "Chi_town/Philly" is pretty gender-neutral. That's Chi_town/PHILLY, not Chi_town/Filly!! My avatar is a college-campus building-- so no help there.

However, on an earlier version of this board, there was a bio summary. [There's no bio info in the new software, for whatever reason...] In it, a self-description that included the words "happy husband" was present- so that answers the question.

one more thought... I suppose that if I try to pull up this thread at the workplace, the "web-sense(less)" filters will take note of the thread title, and block it!


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## Elgarian

handlebar said:


> Perhaps to go shave later but that might be about all.


That's a clue, Jim - right?


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## handlebar

Herzeleide said:


> Hermaphrodite.


Wow. Didn't expect that one.

Jim


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## Weston

I guess I'm pretty obviously male based on the name alone -- although that is closer to my surname than my given name.

It is a sad bit of leftover typcasting that if gender is ambiguous I think of the person as male, maybe because most composers in the past have been male. Fortunately that is finally changing.


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## Guest

Margaret said:


> It may not matter to an internet forum, but it matters to English usage. Unless I go around referring to everyone as "you" or, even worse, "it" eventually I will be using personal pronouns. And, sooner or later, I will get some of those pronouns wrong. So apologies in advance for when I do.
> 
> Margaret


I can,t see that it is a problem, just address a person by their chosen user name after all that's what they want to be known as.but if it really bugs you send a PM


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## World Violist

Andante said:


> I can,t see that it is a problem, just address a person by their chosen user name after all that's what they want to be known as.but if it really bugs you send a PM


That still poses its own problem. Suppose someone talks about someone else thus: "Jim said he wanted to buy such-and-such a CD." Well... "Andante said Andante wants to buy a CD" wouldn't do so well grammatically. Whatever, I'm digging myself a hole here...


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## Guest

World Violist said:


> That still poses its own problem. Suppose someone talks about someone else thus: "Jim said he wanted to buy such-and-such a CD." Well... "Andante said Andante wants to buy a CD" wouldn't do so well grammatically. Whatever, I'm digging myself a hole here...


Yeh, have another glass of Red, you confuse me


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## Bgroovy2

Not sure, let me ask my wife...lol


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## nefigah

Hmm, I suppose on the internet, I tend to go by the axiom "male until proven otherwise." (Granted, this is more appropriate for other forums I visit than this one.)


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## PostMinimalist

Bgroovy2 said:


> Not sure, let me ask my wife...lol


The whole joke goes:

Not sure, let me ask my wife, He'll know!

Fergus ( if you know any girls called Fergus, don't trust them an inch!)


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## Gorm Less

I sympathise partially with the problem Margaret refers to but I can't say that it has ever caused me trouble when I am not sure whether I am responding to a male or female member. Thankfully the English Language (like I am sure other languages too) is rich in ways of avoiding the problem, even if on occasion it might be necessary to apply a bit of ingenuity. 

On one other classical music Board I can think of, the same problem was identified by one of the Admnistrators and he asked members (in a sticky thread) to answer a few basic questions about themselves, starting off with identifying their sex and asking what real name they wish to be known by if this is different from their posting name. Many people treated it as a joke and it produced some very funny responses, and hence was only partially successful.


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## Ciel_Rouge

Gender, age, nationality etc. are sensitive personal information and I do not think they should matter when addressing an individual. Therefore, I find the lack of gender information in the options to be highly appropriate. That being said, I wonder why there are so few female members on forums about music, technology etc. And if there are, only one or two of them are active and others are just occasional posters who pop in (usually asking for assistance) and disappear after a few posts. I find this very peculiar.


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## msegers

post-minimalist said:


> The whole joke goes:
> 
> Not sure, let me ask my wife, He'll know!
> 
> Fergus ( if you know any girls called Fergus, don't trust them an inch!)


This reminds me of a summer I spent hanging out with several people from Finland. In Finnish, as they explained it to me, there is no gender distinction in the third person pronouns, so they were forever scrambling up "he" and "she," often referring to "his husband" and "her wife" - long before same-sex marriage was an issue.

A modest or immodest proposal: I once told a woman from Peru who was trying to understand the mysterious southern (U.S.A.) accent that we pronounce the word **** as three syllables (she-he-it, a preferred way of referring to the third person singular pronouns among students in the English classes I taught for twenty years). So, when the pronouns are in doubt, we could just say "Check that latest post by msegers. **** [pronounced _she-he-it_] was making no sense, as usual."


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## marval

Well I'm another Margaret, so no problems there then. But then again there was a boy named Sue.


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## Guest

marval said:


> Well I'm another Margaret, so no problems there then. But then again there was a boy named Sue.


Well said even a pic of a lady on the profile does not mean a thing.


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## marval

Andante said:


> Well said even a pic of a lady on the profile does not mean a thing.


I agree, sometimes people have pictures of their favoutie composer of musician, no clues there.


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## Tapkaara

When I saw this thread called "Members Sex," I was expecting something COMPLETELY different. How dissapointing.


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## Margaret

Well, to explain myself in the immortal, never to be forgotten words of one of Miss Manner's "Gentle Readers" that I read many years ago:

*"Words have gender. People have sex."*

My dictionary defines gender as:
1. _Gram._ the classification by which words are grouped as masculine, feminine or neuter
2. [Colloq.] sex


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## msegers

We've all had some fun with this topic, but who knows? No matter what avatar or name we use, or even which sex we list, it could all be false.

The popular site Twitter (where I'm *msegers*, if you'd like to follow) has a number of celebs joining in the conversation. The actor Christopher Walken was popular, doling out droll comments a few times a day. He has disappeared from Twitter, since that was all a fake (even with the name Christopher Walken - and CW's photo).

On the other hand, rapper 50 Cent hires a ghost-writer to tweet for him.

More on this topic -
http://valleywag.gawker.com/5186572/everyones-real-fake-on-twitter
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20090328/NEWS02/703289821


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## Guest

[*QUOTE=Margaret;43538]*

*" People have sex."*

QUOTE] *

Not in here they don't*


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## Edmond-Dantes

Yes, well, I've already stated my gender in my introduction, but what the hell. I'm a male person. GUESS someone might mistake my gender if they know where the name Edmond-Dantes comes from and just assumes I'm a dumas fan, but it's still hard to picture.. ^^;;


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## nickgray

This thread reminded me of a rather stupid joke 

Immigration control:

-Name?
-Abdul Saiid Wahad...
-Sex?
-Four times a week...
-No, no - male, female?
-Male, female, sometimes camel...


Oh... I'm male, btw, but I guess you can deduce that from my nickname and avatar


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## msegers

In response to *nickgray*, the nickname and avatar in no way inform us that "he" is male. Choosing a masculine nickname and avatar is just that - a choice. I have a friend who had two accounts in one forum, one with a masculine nickname, one with a feminine nickname; "he" used to argue with "her," and "she" would attack "him" at every opportunity.

Just today, newspaper etiquette columnist Judith Martin (a.k.a. Miss Manners) asks, "_Excuse Miss Manners for being naive, but don't we assume that most self-sketches on anonymous groups are at least embroidered, if not outright fantasy?_"

Speaking of newspaper columnists, Nathanael West's columnist Miss Lonelyhearts was, in fact, a man. George Eliot and George Sand were women, and the Brontë sisters all used masculine pseudonyms at some point in their careers... as did Joy (B.J.) Chute (whose novel _Greenwillow_ was the basis for the musical of that title). Some male authors have swung the other way, most notably, Ben Franklin (a.k.a. Silence Dogood).


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## Klassik

Andante said:


> [*QUOTE=Margaret;43538]*
> 
> *" People have sex."*
> 
> QUOTE] *
> 
> Not in here they don't*


It seems that having sex in here is in violation of the ToS. Bummer. 



Lang said:


> When I saw the thread title I got all excited, thinking it was a proposal for an orgy. But then, that's what you expect from a male ...


Aye! So we had the same reaction. :cheers: I'm male too, but there are female members who might have thought the same. Well, one at least. 

Anyway, maybe there's a reason why all these members aren't here anymore. Maybe they're all having that...well, you know! :devil:


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## LezLee

Have updated ‘About Me’ on my profile


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## KenOC

Looking at the title of this thread, I say: "Yes".


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## Klassik

KenOC said:


> Looking at the title of this thread, I say: "Yes".


Maybe OP was Margaret Sanger?  Hopefully it wasn't Margaret Thatcher.


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## Capeditiea

:O but i am asexual... i guess i could watch... :3


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## Klassik

Capeditiea said:


> :O but i am asexual...


Ha! That's what Bettina claimed too. She had a hard time convincing me of that though.


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## Capeditiea

Klassik said:


> Ha! That's what Bettina claimed too. She had a hard time convincing me of that though.


do i have to convince you... or try? :O i mean i don't go out much... and even if i did... sexual intercourse (We are talking scientific things here mods... sheesh.) tends to be something i like to do my self... since i was broken at a young age. :3 not one person can please me like i do.


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## Klassik

Capeditiea said:


> do i have to convince you... or try? :O i mean i don't go out much... and even if i did... sexual intercourse (We are talking scientific things here mods... sheesh.) tends to be something i like to do my self... since i was broken at a young age. :3 not one person can please me like i do.


Well, I guess it's a little easier to believe since you're not the first person like that around here. Now you might have a bit of a harder time convincing us about your dead composer crushes if you have any.


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## Capeditiea

Klassik said:


> Well, I guess it's a little easier to believe since you're not the first person like that around here. Now you might have a bit of a harder time convincing us about your dead composer crushes if you have any.


...i do but it is their music that entices me...

*nods, oddly enough, the four seasons... (especially Summer and Winter...) gets me going... along with the rite of spring.

and a few of Weber's songs from Oberon do it too...

Along with Brahms' first.

but especially Weber's Clarinet Concerto No. 1

i guess Carl Maria von Weber would probably be the male side of things... but i have a feeling Scriabin would know how to please me... especially Tchaikovsky...

but for Tchaikovsky it would be a one sided thing... (depending on how you look at it...)

:O 
but really since discovering weber, it would seem like a 200 years apart twins thing going on.  i just have longer hair... :3


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## Capeditiea

in other news... if Sorabji and I were to be in the same room... we would probably end up writing a work that would last 10,000 years in presto.


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## Klassik

Capeditiea said:


> but for Tchaikovsky it would be a one sided thing... (depending on how you look at it...)


History as you learned it is no longer accurate. Bettina was able to turn Tchaikovsky straight. 

Well, I assume you're talking about "Magnum P.I." Tchaikovsky and not Boris Tchaikovsky.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> History as you learned it is no longer accurate. Bettina was able to turn Tchaikovsky straight.
> 
> Well, I assume you're talking about "Magnum P.I." Tchaikovsky and not Boris Tchaikovsky.


Ah the Bettina factor, just think what she would have done with Bach................. descendants would still be popping out of goodness knows where


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## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ah the Bettina factor, just think what she would have done with Bach................. descendants would still be popping out of goodness knows where


Well, Bach would have written a lot more partitas.


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## Dan Ante

A clue I changed my name from Ann Danty...---...


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## Capeditiea

*nods, i think she may be a time traveller if this is the case...


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## Dr Johnson




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## Klassik

Dr Johnson said:


>


Ah, yes, John Cleese always delivers the correct answer.


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## Larkenfield

Setting aside gender identification for a moment, I’m for members having sex, but only on holidays and weekends to keep them out of trouble. Other than that they should continue to donate .0004% of their incomes on weekdays toward subsidizing the arts in the States since that’s about the palty national average compared to just about any civilized country in the world who actually values them.


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