# Hilarious Bloopers From Church Bulletins



## superhorn (Mar 23, 2010)

The fasting and prayer meeting includes meals .

The sermon this morning "Jesus walks on the water ". 
The sermon tonight : "Searching for Jesus ".

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall.
Come out and watch us kill Christ the King .

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale . It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth 
keeping around the house . Don't forget your husbands .

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canelled due to a confliuct.

Remember in prayer those hwo are sick of our community . Smile at someone who is hard to
love . Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you .

Don't let worry kill you off- let the church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang " I will not pass this way again ", giving obvious pleasure to the congregation .

For those of you who have children and don't know about it, we have a nursery downstairs .

Next Thursaday there will be tryouts for the choir . They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having
trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons .

The rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy".

Irwin Benson and Jessie Carter were married n October 24 in the church . So ends a friendship that 
began in their school days .



:lol:


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## Turangalîla (Jan 29, 2012)

Here are more of my favourites :

_This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Wednesday the Ladies' Liturgy Group will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing, "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.

Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning._

Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Name: Bertha Belch. Announcement: _"Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa"_.

_Today... Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.

Brother Lamar has gone on to be the Lord.

If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. _

LOLOL I love these :lol:


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