# Last words before Ebola gets rid of us...



## Richannes Wrahms (Jan 6, 2014)

Well, the title says it quite clearly. I know it is a serious issue and panic is the worst reaction (unless you are a nuclear chemist). But, everybody knows the best jokes are told at funerals and unless biotechnology and political corruption join forces to render some dude temporarily immortal :lol: we will all eventually perish. Given the fact that death occurs, be it expected or not or 'in mysterious ways', and (I hope) we are all rational beings (most of the time) I open this thread to let us share our humble goodbyes.

Mine: It was interesting while it lasted. I must admit though, that most of the time it was just banality in your face but I can't argue with that. Evil wishes! R.W 

Suggested music for my funeral: 

a) Ligeti's Requiem b) Debussy's Nocturnes c) Wagner's Götterdämmerung d) Sibelius' Symphonies No.4, No.6 mov.1 e) pretty much anything by Bartók f) Delius' Irmelin prelude, Requiem g) Cherubini's Requiems, Schumann's Requiem... 

:tiphat:



P.S: I think 'That's All Folks!' is copyrighted.
P.P.S: Haydn or any 'Last songs' don't count as last words.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I would have them play the complete Wagner Ring* by my hospital bed. That buys me a little more time.

*Preferably with Hans Knapperbush conducting.


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

^^^ Its a good job Mrs Hermit isn't a nurse - she'd disconnect all electrical devices as soon as the first notes of Wagner sound .... including any life support machines


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

^^^ or maybe the Doctor would say "Keep it pithy - I haven't got all day. Quit bloviating and vacate this bed!" :devil:


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

My last words would be that an Ebola pandemic isn't as terrifying as it could be for the mere fact that it is not an airborne disease.

Just be careful where you put your mouth and/or open wounds.


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## Richannes Wrahms (Jan 6, 2014)

C'mon, don't spoil it. Let us embrace for a moment the vague illusion of Ebola playing the role of Golaud.


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## superhorn (Mar 23, 2010)

Armageddon tired of all this ridiculous doomsday talk .


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## Badinerie (May 3, 2008)

violadude said:


> Just be careful where you put your mouth and/or open wounds.


Spoilsport!............


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## ptr (Jan 22, 2013)

..no worries mate, kick back n' have a tripple X, Ya kno, plagues come and go and only the deserved will survive! 

/ptr


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

"_So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish_" ?

at least, it was a fourth act after a three-act everyone thought was a three-act


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

ptr said:


> ..no worries mate, kick back n' have a tripple X, Ya kno, plagues come and go and only the deserved will survive!
> 
> /ptr


As derserving as I am, even I wouldn't survive weaponized ebola.


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## Guest (Oct 10, 2014)

hpowders said:


> I would have them play the complete Wagner Ring* by my hospital bed. That buys me a little more time.
> 
> *Preferably with Hans Knapperbush conducting.


Or it might guarantee that you will die alone, as everybody will have lost interest somewhere early in Das Rheingold and left you.


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## Couac Addict (Oct 16, 2013)




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## cwarchc (Apr 28, 2012)

Im the words Spike Milligan wanted for his epitaph
"I told you I was ill"


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Headphone Hermit said:


> ^^^ Its a good job Mrs Hermit isn't a nurse - she'd disconnect all electrical devices as soon as the first notes of Wagner sound .... including any life support machines





Headphone Hermit said:


> ^^^ or maybe the Doctor would say "Keep it pithy - I haven't got all day. Quit bloviating and vacate this bed!" :devil:


I would use headphones, of course. I am considerate of other peoples' feelings. The music is simply a means to an end; my end!

No MD like that would be allowed to participate in my health plan. They've all taken courses in "patient relations".


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Imagine you are a young girl, given the beautiful name of Ebola by your parents.

"Ebola, would you please take out the trash?"

"Why yes, of course Mommy Dearest. It is my pleasure to do so!"

And then everybody shuns you because your name is now a virus.

"Oh that's okay Ebola. We will take out the trash. Don't you bother, dear. What's that? How long must you stay in your room?
Look up the word 'indefinitely' in your dictionary dear."


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

Couac Addict said:


>


... and he doesn't play it much well at all!


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## mtmailey (Oct 21, 2011)

Here are a few words for you USE VITAMIN C.


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## MoonlightSonata (Mar 29, 2014)

hpowders said:


> Imagine you are a young girl, given the beautiful name of Ebola by your parents.
> 
> "Ebola, would you please take out the trash?"
> 
> ...


Yes, Ebola's as nice a name as Salmonella. 
Why can't diseases have names like Klug and Blurth? It makes them sound more like they are.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

Of course OP, if Ebola takes you, it would relieve you and those about you of that nagging cynicism of yours, since "it all goes" when it goes


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Why didn't the most distinguished epidemiologists in the world think of that as Ebola protection? How did they overlook Vitamin C? Must have just been an oversight.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

hpowders said:


> Why didn't the most distinguished epidemiologists in the world think of that as Ebola protection? How did they overlook Vitamin C? Must have just been an oversight.


Yeah, like, "Doh! All those suffering the terrible symptoms and horrific deaths of this epidemic could've had a V-8!"


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

PetrB said:


> Yeah, like, "Doh! All those suffering the terrible symptoms and horrific deaths of this epidemic could've had a V-8!"


NOW they tell us!!! :scold:


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

I've just drank four liters of V-8 and taken eight grams worth of tablets of vitamin C.

I'm ready for this Ebola. Is she still in her room?

View attachment 53324


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Why does this thread remind me of 'The Masque of the Red Death'?


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## SeptimalTritone (Jul 7, 2014)

hpowders said:


> Imagine you are a young girl, given the beautiful name of Ebola by your parents.
> 
> "Ebola, would you please take out the trash?"
> 
> ...


This is probably the best post on the entirety of TC


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

SeptimalTritone said:


> This is probably the best post on the entirety of TC


Thank you for your kind words regarding poor "Ebola". Nobody needs them more. Imagine her being chained to a musty, dusty pole crawling with lice in the attic, rats crawling at her bare feet, roaches dancing through her long beautiful flaxen hair; some rotten pumpkin fillet hoisted up the dumbwaiter every three days, no water; the only music, a never ending loop of Night On Bare Mountain and Bartok's Music For Strings, Percussion and Celesta. All because of having a beautifully unique but truly unfortunate first name and that Mommy Dearest hasn't taken her meds for years.


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## MoonlightSonata (Mar 29, 2014)

hpowders said:


> Thank you for your kind words regarding poor "Ebola". Nobody needs them more. Imagine her being chained to a musty, dusty pole crawling with lice in the attic, rats crawling at her bare feet, roaches dancing through her long beautiful flaxen hair; some rotten pumpkin fillet hoisted up the dumbwaiter every three days, no water; the only music, a never ending loop of Night On Bare Mountain and Bartok's Music For Strings, Percussion and Celesta. All because of having a beautifully unique but truly unfortunate first name and that Mommy Dearest hasn't taken her meds for years.


Rather the Bartok and Mussorgsky than 4'33'' on loop.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

MoonlightSonata said:


> Rather the Bartok and Mussorgsky than 4'33'' on loop.


Mommy Dearest is weak in contemporary classical music. Her specialty is 19th-20th century Russian and Hungarian classical music.


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## trazom (Apr 13, 2009)

Ingélou said:


> Why does this thread remind me of 'The Masque of the Red Death'?


We're all having a great time, most of us, while a hemorrhagic fever continues to spread itself and kill mercilessly. Well, I feel safe in this thread and I could use another drink.


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## DiesIraeCX (Jul 21, 2014)

Hmm, did I leave the oven on?


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