# Childhood misconceptions of the world



## violadude

A fun thread where you can share some misconceptions that you had of the world when you were a kid.

One social misconception I had was that I thought that if you were completely nice to someone and did them a bunch of favors, it was a complete and utter fail proof way for them to be your friend. That didn't work out too well. 

I also really really loved "themed" items when I was a kid and I suppose most forum members that are young enough might have experienced this. For example, I used to love to get Batman shampoo and thought, without a doubt, that it was significantly different from normal shampoo, as if the shampoo itself had anything to do with Batman other than the container it was packaged in. :lol:


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## ArtMusic

(1) That the world is fair a place and good people always prevail.

(2) That all classical music are quality fine music.


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## Morimur

As a child I was under the impression that pretty girls didn't fart. Imagine my surprise.


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## Ukko

That the world was a scarey place sometimes - but when I 'got big' it wouldn't be.


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## Ingélou

I didn't know that a 'leaf' is another name for a page, so I thought 'turning over a new leaf' meant getting a leaf from a tree & turning it over. 

And as I said in another thread, I thought ballet on TV worked by having very small ballerinas inside the television set.

I thought it was possible to reach a 'highest number' and so kept on counting under my breath. I'd lose count after about two hundred, but would cheerfully begin my quest again. 

My father would pretend to produce sweets from my ear, but I thought he really did, so one day when we went on a picnic & he'd forgotten his newspaper, I suggest that he get it from my ear, 'folded really small'.

On the way to Beverley in Yorkshire, there are a lot of topiary yew trees. Dad said they were treemen who were after ginger haired girls (tweaking my hair as he drove). I used to seethe with annoyance at how unfair that was.


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## GreenMamba

The first US President I recall was Gerald Ford, but I remember thinking he was called General Ford. I thought he was a general.


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## brotagonist

I thought it was "Wa?" Later, I found out it was "Was?" but that it was much more mannered to say "Wie, bitte?"


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## Varick

- New sneakers made me run faster
- I understood the concept of gravity, but whenever I looked at a globe I always wondered why most people on this planet (including me) didn't feel strange standing sideways or upside down the further south one lived.
- I thought broccoli were just miniature trees.
- I thought every time I was in the shower and one of my brother's flushed the toilet, that same water would come out of the shower head. (They knew I thought this, and oh, the fun they had at my expense).

V


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## Tristan

I used to think that if I ate a big black watermelon seed, a watermelon plant would grow inside me 

I thought the world really was black and white in the early 20th century.

I used to think that England was a medieval fantasy land where magic and knights and princesses were abundant


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## PetrB

Tristan said:


> I used to think that if I ate a big black watermelon seed, a watermelon plant would grow inside me
> 
> I thought the world really was black and white in the early 20th century.
> 
> I used to think that England was a medieval fantasy land where magic and knights and princesses were abundant


Those are as scary as they are adorable. 
(Pssst... You were completely right about one of those three


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## superhorn

When I was about six or seven years old, and my family was moving to Long Island where I lived for so many years,
we were coming to the Throg's Neck bridge which is in New York city . When I heard the name , I thought it was the "frog's neck bridge ".
When I was about five and heard the word "paradise " for the first time, I thought it was "parrot eyes ".


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## Vaneyes

That one could/would find a company, a business, they liked, and work for it their entire working life.


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## mirepoix

_The quaint_ - that bus drivers would take their bus home with them at night and take their families for a run in them at the weekend.

_The ridiculous_ - 'Scotty' from the original series of Star Trek? I believed he was Scottish.

_The 'innocence is no excuse'_ - that the reason women wore high heeled shoes was due to the fact they were so short that they needed them in order to see over walls etc.


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## Huilunsoittaja

Here are some real ones from my childhood, some of them appalling:

- That an "hour" was 10 minutes, and "half an hour" was 5 minutes. When I asked my mom when I was 4, "When are we having lunch?" she would say "in half an hour" I would leave her alone for 5 minutes and then go back to her, "It's time for lunch!" She actually never corrected this for me, perhaps because she didn't realize I had such a silly misconception! I wouldn't have been such an "impatient" child if I only knew!!  :lol:
- That all families had birthdays close to each other, like one every month for successive months (as my family was). It just never occurred to me that other families would have it different, maybe one child having a birthday many months away from their parents.
- That all families have pianos (as my family had). That myth was first busted when I went to my grandparents' house in Florida, where they didn't have one. After a moment of shock, I got over it.
- That chamber music wasn't "real" music, but in-between stuff that didn't count on the radio. I'm dead serious. It was only until middle school I realized it was a respectable genre, but I continued to have a dulled "_it's like it's not even there_" reaction to it. I think I had this feeling because the chamber genre is in general very "small sounding" of course.  This is why chamber music continues to have little stature in my day-to-day listening life. It's been hard to shake being conditioned like that, and my family had nothing to do with it! Although they never played me chamber music when I was a kid, only orchestral/piano...
- That Mozart was _obviously _more respected than Beethoven (this was true for many years until starting high school). Turns out it's about the exact opposite, if at least a close tie.


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## shangoyal

I used to think that children fell down from heaven to the earth when their parents wanted them to be born.

I used to think that politicians are as honourable as they appear to be.

And that every 18th century European listened to and loved classical music.


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## mirepoix

Ingélou said:


> And as I said in another thread, I thought ballet on TV worked by having very small ballerinas inside the television set.


Awesome to the nth degree.


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## Varick

Huilunsoittaja said:


> - That chamber music wasn't "real" music, but in-between stuff that didn't count on the radio.


You were actually right on this one.



Huilunsoittaja said:


> I'm dead serious.


So am I

V


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## Levanda

I used believed if we on the bus and we going home that mean everybody going home, if going to do shopping everybody doing shopping.


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## Matsps

I thought what my senses gave was a fairly thorough and accurate picture of the world.


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## shangoyal

Matsps said:


> I thought what my senses gave a fairly thorough and accurate picture of the world.


Very well put. That puts an end to the thread!!


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## SiegendesLicht

I used to think Stockholm, Kansas and Bremen were imaginary places because they were mentioned in fairy tales.


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## GreenMamba

Since a couple other posters have mentioned Classical music, I'm reminded of when I was a child, my father subscribed to something akin to a Time-Life series of Classical albums. Volume 1 was Beethoven, 2 was Mozart, 3 Bach, etc.

I used to think those were the official composer rankings. There were 20 in all, and my recollection was that Bruckner wasn't included, and Mahler and Bartok either weren't included or were near the bottom. The feeling that they weren't really major composers stuck with me for a long time.


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## Vaneyes

GreenMamba said:


> Since a couple other posters have mentioned Classical music, I'm reminded of when I was a child, my father subscribed to something akin to a Time-Life series of Classical albums. Volume 1 was Beethoven, 2 was Mozart, 3 Bach, etc.
> 
> I used to think those were the official composer rankings. There were 20 in all, and my recollection was that Bruckner wasn't included, and Mahler and Bartok either weren't included or were near the bottom. The feeling that they weren't really major composers stuck with me for a long time.


That's pretty much how it still is. Just kidding.


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## Vaneyes

I was careful not to step into puddles, for fear of falling to the other side of the earth. Some said it would be China, but I couldn't confirm at that age.


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## Vaneyes

Tacking on to my post #12, some think not too many decades from now, 50% unemployment will be optimistic. It'll be called the Robot Economy.


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## hpowders

shangoyal said:


> Very well put. That puts an end to the thread!!


Mistaken post. Joke no longer relevant. I hate that!!!


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## Svelte Silhouette

I honestly thought it was flat. I figured cars couldn't roll around the edge of a globe without falling off and proved it on my dad's globe drinks cabinet regularly. I thought the globe cabinet was just someone's clever idea so you could get all the countries neat without having them all spread across a carpet and hide drinks in which you'd see otherwise. I also knew that water came out of the bath all over the floor so figured the world had sides and God was watching us in the big bath of floating flat islands and that he might sink us if we were naughty.


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## millionrainbows

I thought "wind-chill factor" was "windshield factor."

3 yrs old:I thought a glass chemical beaker, with a round bottom and straight neck, which was lying under the elevated floor of an old building, was what a snake was supposed to be, and freaked everyone out when I pointed to it, exclaiming "'ake! 'ake!"

There was a rumor going around when I was about 8 or 9, that maggots were inherently within all living creatures, and that death was the trigger which caused them to emerge.


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## Varick

millionrainbows said:


> There was a rumor going around when I was about 8 or 9, that maggots were inherently within all living creatures, and that death was the trigger which caused them to emerge.


LOL I have GOT to tell my nephew and niece that one!

V


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## sabrina

When I was very little, around 3-4 y.o. I sometimes looked at my small arms and felt there is no way they will ever get larger. In way, I could not understand how on earth could I grow bigger/taller.


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## Richannes Wrahms

millionrainbows said:


> There was a rumor going around when I was about 8 or 9, that maggots were inherently within all living creatures, and that death was the trigger which caused them to emerge.


No wonder the spontaneous generation "theory" lasted for so long in history.


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## BurningDesire

when I was a young child I genuinely believed that all people, men and women, had the same kind of genitalia XD


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## OldFashionedGirl

When I was a child I thought that chinese people had no soul, and for that reason they would not have a life afterwards death.


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## geralmar

I thought it was illegal to read a magazine before the date printed on the cover.


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## elgar's ghost

When I was a kid I was unaware that wasps could sting. I would pick them up without fear until my luck ran out one day when I was with my mum in the chemist and got stung when when I irritated one in the shop window.

Now this is what wasps mean to me:

http://static.themetapicture.com/media/funny-wasp-anatomy-parts.jpg


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## Morimur

OldFashionedGirl said:


> When I was a child I thought that chinese people had no soul, and for that reason they would not have a life afterwards death.


I thought that the Japanese had no soul until very recently.


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## Xaltotun

I thought that this is how adults get a job: they walk on the street until a shop owner / boss of some kind comes out of an office building and says "Now you work for us!". Then you can have that job for life.

I'm still disappointed that it isn't so.


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## Ingélou

Before I knew the facts of life, I thought you got married and just waited till God sent some children along.


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## hpowders

Ingélou said:


> Before I knew the facts of life, I thought you got married and just waited till God sent some children along.


So, from this post, are you implying that it's actually something different?

What's your theory?


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## geralmar

In first grade, before being dismissed for lunch the class would always recite:

God is great
God is good
Let us thank Him
for this food

I became convinced God was somewhere behind the serving line in the cafeteria. One day, while I was waiting in line, the kitchen doors flew open and an enormous black man, dressed in spotless white and holding a large silver mixing bowl, stood framed in the doorway. I excitedly proclaimed to everyone around me that I had just seen God. Some adult yelled at me to stop holding up the line and to move on. For years afterward I envisioned God as a black chef.


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## AliceKettle

1). Nothing terrible will ever happen to me-This misconception isn't just found in children, but people in general, who have never experienced life-changing mental, emotional, or physical trauma. 
2). Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy really exist-No they don't. It's scientifically and physically impossible for them to exist. I pretended to believe in Santa Claus when I was 12, but I knew deep inside that Santa was a myth from the time I was 10, when I woke up in the middle of the night and caught my parents slipping Christmas presents under the tree. 
3). You'll be rich and famous one day-Most likely, no you will not. You'll probably just have a middle-class job, a modest house, and a little family.
4). Shooting stars are actually stars falling from the sky-No, they're just meteoroids.
5). You're really smart-It's probably just proud parent talk; you're most likely of average intelligence.
6). I used to believe that babies came straight from heaven.
7). The first time I lost a tooth was when I was 6 years old. I started crying, worrying over the the false fact that my tooth would never grow back.
8). When I was little I used to have a fear of eating sugary foods and getting diabetes. While this isn't completely untrue, I went to extremes, and avoided eating sugary foods and drinks entirely.
9). It's easy to make new friends- if you're outgoing, like many people this is true. However, I was always shy and awkward growing up, and had difficulty making new friends.
10). Guinea pigs can fly-This wasn't a misconception of mine, but my little brother who threw our pet guinea pig off the second floor of our house. Needless to say, the poor guinea pig didn't survive.


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## geralmar

BurningDesire said:


> when I was a young child I genuinely believed that all people, men and women, had the same kind of genitalia XD


I once inadvertently witnessed my mother stepping out of the bathtub. Concerned and a little frightened at what I didn't see-- and not wanting to alarm my mother if she hadn't noticed, herself-- I asked my father what happened. He grew very somber then said that she lost it in a revolving door. That, ultimately, proved neither a calming nor a helpful explanation.


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## Majed Al Shamsi

geralmar said:


> I once inadvertently witnessed my mother stepping out of the bathtub. Concerned and a little frightened at what I didn't see-- and not wanting to alarm my mother if she hadn't noticed, herself-- I asked my father what happened. He grew very somber then said that she lost it in a revolving door. That, ultimately, proved neither a calming nor a helpful explanation.


Hahaha! Your father is awesome!

Not really a misconception, more of a sudden realisation; it took me roughly a decade to understand that the pepper grinder in this scene from the Shrek 2 movie was supposed to be a medieval version of today's pepper spray...


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## Varick

geralmar said:


> I once inadvertently witnessed my mother stepping out of the bathtub. Concerned and a little frightened at what I didn't see-- and not wanting to alarm my mother if she hadn't noticed, herself-- I asked my father what happened. He grew very somber then said that she lost it in a revolving door. That, ultimately, proved neither a calming nor a helpful explanation.


THIS may be the funniest post I have seen on this web site so far! LMAO!!!

V


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## Xaltotun

geralmar said:


> In first grade, before being dismissed for lunch the class would always recite:
> 
> God is great
> God is good
> Let us thank Him
> for this food
> 
> I became convinced God was somewhere behind the serving line in the cafeteria. One day, while I was waiting in line, the kitchen doors flew open and an enormous black man, dressed in spotless white and holding a large silver mixing bowl, stood framed in the doorway. I excitedly proclaimed to everyone around me that I had just seen God. Some adult yelled at me to stop holding up the line and to move on. For years afterward I envisioned God as a black chef.


If this is not one of the greatest things I've ever read in the Internet, I don't know what is.


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## Cosmos

Probably the stupidest thing I ever thought when I was a little kid...I thought that a limo (as in a limousine) was a kind of gorilla with purple fur. I honestly do not know why, for such a long time, I believed that. 

Also, I remember that I pushed my sister in a lake because I thought she would walk atop the water. My grandma had just given me an illustrated bible storybook for kids, and I guess the picture of Jesus walking on water influenced me to test out if it were possible.


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## Morimur

Cosmos said:


> Probably the stupidest thing I ever thought when I was a little kid...I thought that a limo (as in a limousine) was a kind of gorilla with purple fur. I honestly do not know why, for such a long time, I believed that.
> 
> Also, I remember that I pushed my sister in a lake because I thought she would walk atop the water. My grandma had just given me an illustrated bible storybook for kids, and I guess the picture of Jesus walking on water influenced me to test out if it were possible.


*Cosmos, don't use the Bible to justify Attempted Murder. The nerve!*


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## Dustin

I thought there was something wrong with me when I was around 4 or 5 because I noticed myself swallowing for the first time(while not eating). I couldn't understand what it was and thought there was something wrong with my throat so I cried to my parents...and they laughed.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Vaneyes said:


> I was careful not to step into puddles, for fear of falling to the other side of the earth. Some said it would be China, but I couldn't confirm at that age.


I once dug a hole in the backyard all the way to china.....I found out a little while later that whoever came up with the concept of digging all the way to china meant digging to the large country in the Asian continent. What I did was find pieces of broken porcelain under some layers of dirt.


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## Headphone Hermit

I thought you could persuade people to change their views if you explained something clearly and logically.

I've since learnt this was a foolish premise!


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## amfortas

I used to think I had misconceptions.

I was wrong.


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## sabrina

When I was first grade, I thought our teachers were perfect, knew everything, and had answers to any question. When I was grade 2, this myth dramatically collapsed, and I entered the real world, realizing nobody is perfect. What a sad conclusion.


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## brianvds

geralmar said:


> I became convinced God was somewhere behind the serving line in the cafeteria. One day, while I was waiting in line, the kitchen doors flew open and an enormous black man, dressed in spotless white and holding a large silver mixing bowl, stood framed in the doorway. I excitedly proclaimed to everyone around me that I had just seen God. Some adult yelled at me to stop holding up the line and to move on. For years afterward I envisioned God as a black chef.


Where are you from? South Park?


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## geralmar

When I was a kid I watched a lot of dubbed Italian sword-and-sandal epics. I used to always be annoyed when at the end of the movie the word

FINE

would appear on the screen. I never thought the movie was THAT good.


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## hpowders

When I was 8 or 9, I thought the US President was the most moral person on earth; never cursed, always honest, something to aspire to.

Man, was that bubble ever burst!!


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## Musicforawhile

I used to think an ice-skating rink was like a helter-skelter but with ice and you held onto the rail for dear life as you spiralled downwards. I was very scared when I went ice-skating for the first time...

I thought if you broke your leg, your leg actually broke off, but I think I thought that you could get a new one attached.


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## Levanda

When I was child I believed common cranes bringing children I was begged and screamed to bring for me sister or brother or you have to purchasing from somewhere my mum used foolish me and telling me not much money we got so we can't afford it.


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## hpowders

Levanda said:


> When I was child I believed common cranes bringing children I was begged and screamed to bring for me sister or brother or you have to purchasing from somewhere my mum used foolish me and telling me not much money we got so we can't afford it.


 Okay, if they don't, so what's your theory?

I know. Second time around for this one.


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## Levanda

hpowders said:


> Okay, if they don't, so what's your theory?


What you mean my theory? I am adult now.


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## hpowders

Levanda said:


> What you mean my theory? I am adult now.


I know. It was only a joke.

Sorry! :tiphat:


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## Headphone Hermit

^^^ I learnt that it wasn't cranes .... its _storks_ that do it :lol:


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## trazom

In preschool, I remember thinking the sun actually looked so bright because it was shining directly on ME all the time and not other people, who only received some of its light.:lol:

-I'd get really upset if I lost sight of my mom or dad in a public place because I was so sure they'd left me there.
-I'd sometimes panic in closed spaces, like the plastic tunnels in kids' play zones at Chuck E Cheese or MCDonald's, if I couldn't find my way out, that I'd be stuck there forever.


-I once got locked in the bathroom at Wendy's and I screamed my head off because I thought the walls were closing in around me and that I would suffocate. The entire restaurant heard me, my dad ran to get me because he thought I was being attacked by someone. When everyone settled back down, my uncle jokingly said "I thought you slammed the toilet seat down your you-know-what."
-I thought if I looked up and made the recipe for flying potion used in one horror book I was reading, I would be able to fly too.
-I thought most adults were 'smart.'
-That dying was something that happened mostly to old people.
-That robberies, kidnappings, murders etc were very rare and happened in OTHER cities or neighborhoods.


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## Levanda

Is funny I remember in my childhood my mum and dad was deaf so other children used asking me did your mum and dad got a tong.


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## Posie

sabrina said:


> When I was first grade, I thought our teachers were perfect, knew everything, and had answers to any question. When I was grade 2, this myth dramatically collapsed, and I entered the real world, realizing nobody is perfect. What a sad conclusion.


Many adults believe that about professors and psychiatrists. 



Levanda said:


> When I was child I believed common cranes bringing children I was begged and screamed to bring for me sister or brother or you have to purchasing from somewhere my mum used foolish me and telling me not much money we got so we can't afford it.


As a teenager, I believed that bizarre myth about the childless couple in Lübeck.

http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/fertility.asp

It seemed very believable to me, especially after having to explain to one of my college friends about the _real_ stork's flight. (Hpowders probably has an idea which college I attended. ) I became suspicious later knowing that, unlike here in the U.S., sex-education is compulsory in Germany.


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## Varick

geralmar said:


> For years afterward I envisioned God as a black chef.





hpowders said:


> So, from this post, are you implying that it's actually something different?
> 
> What's your theory?


I know, right?

V


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## Guest

I came across a funny book that collected misstatements made by children about history/the world. This one is particularly amusing:"In 1492, Columbus circumcised the world." Dang, that must have taken a while.


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## Taggart

Kontrapunctus said:


> I came across a funny book that collected misstatements made by children about history/the world. This one is particularly amusing:"In 1492, Columbus circumcised the world." Dang, that must have taken a while.


Well he was sailing in a forty foot clipper!


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## SeptimalTritone

geralmar said:


> I became convinced God was somewhere behind the serving line in the cafeteria. One day, while I was waiting in line, the kitchen doors flew open and an enormous black man, dressed in spotless white and holding a large silver mixing bowl, stood framed in the doorway. I excitedly proclaimed to everyone around me that I had just seen God. Some adult yelled at me to stop holding up the line and to move on. For years afterward I envisioned God as a black chef.


Dude, God _is_ a black guy, although not necessarily a chef.


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## Ingélou

I remember that a black American actor was chosen to play God in the York Mystery Plays of 1984. 
He was highly effective.










He stood on the highest point of the ruins of St Mary's Abbey in the Museum Gardens (on the left hand side of the picture).

You are to imagine it was dark - the black actor had a resounding bass voice and was dressed in white robes - floodlights picked out his figure, and beside him stood the actors who'd played Adam and Eve at the start, then dressed in white, but now naked. It was dark - they stood high aloft and distant from the audience - and we could see no *details*. The effect was in fact deeply touching - naked humanity being granted mercy by a generous God. All the same, it caused a furore and apparently the disrobing was abandoned during the later part of the run.


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## Wicked_one

I thought that when it rained, angels were pissing on us...

I thought that all the foreign shows on TV were played by people who learned English and then played in the show (I'm Romanian).

I imagined Italy as a big boot flying through space.

God was taking a photography of us each time there was a lightning in a storm.

I really believed there was a god in the skies above.


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## Varick

Taggart said:


> Well he was sailing in a forty foot clipper!


LOL Well played!

V


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## Taggart

Ingélou said:


> I remember that a black American actor was chosen to play God in the York Mystery Plays of 1984.
> He was highly effective.


The actor was San Franciscan Keith Jefferson, a 33-year-old teacher at Ryedale Waldorf School in Bishophill, who became the first black man to play God in 1984.


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## Levanda

Once I fool my son when he was little. He asked "Mum do you have name" I told him no names only giving for rich kids, I was poor that why I don't have a name. He told me " Mum I can work and get for you name" .


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## geralmar

I would tie a string to the end of a stick, attach an open safety pin to the end of the string; then dig a small hole, fill it with water; and wait patiently to catch a fish.

I would fold a few small items into a handkerchief, tie it to the end of a pole; then tell my mother that I was running away from home, but that I would be back in time for dinner.

I would plant a bean, wait until the stalk had grown a few inches, then attempt to climb it. It never worked.

I would panic when I swallowed a watermelon seed. I didn't want a watermelon growing out of my ear.

I would try to light a candy cigarette.

I would try to fire a bullet by pounding on the end of it with a hammer.

I wouldn't walk in front of a neighbor's garage because my friend said there was a Thunderbird inside. I was afraid it would eat me.

I tried to surprise my father by filling the car gasoline tank from the garden hose, just like they did at the gas station; but I couldn't get the cap off.

I would stand in front of the house with an open umbrella, and stare at the roof. I never could figure out a way to climb to the top of the house.

I would hide in the bushes by the side of the road, then dash across the road in front of an oncoming car to see how close I could come to the bumper without being hit. An unsympathetic motorist ended the game.


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## Ingélou

^^^^^^ Brilliant!

I really loved my infant teacher in Class Two, so aged six I decided to make her some money for her birthday. I told her, and she encouraged me to try to make pound notes (green) and ten shilling notes (russet brown) out of paper cut to size and scribbled on with wax crayons - scribbling was how I *saw* the intricate scrollwork design at that age. So I did my best, and had to shake my head and apologise - even I could see that sadly my career path was not to lie in forgery.


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## trazom

Some more,

-Trying to dig a hole to China.
-Digging to the bottom of the sandbox to look for "Indian clay."
-Taking my dad's sunflower seeds, dumping them on the ground in the backyard and squirting them with the garden hose to make them grow.
-Getting a humidor with chocolate cigars for my 5th birthday and thinking my dad finally thought I was old enough to smoke with him.
- Attaching a letter to a balloon and releasing it so my dead grandma would be able to read it up in heaven.

-Finally, and probably the most bizarre memory and misconception I ever had as a kid. I was 7 years old at Kids Club, where you'd stay after elementary school let out played activities, watch movies, etc, until your parents picked you up late in the afternoon. I was playing outside when I thought I heard my dad repeatedly calling my name, but it sounded so real to me this time I looked all over outside and inside the classroom looking for him. I was so sure he got angry and left me there(like I mentioned earlier post, I _always_ had this fear) despite all the adults on campus watching us, I went to my 'cubby hole' got my stuff, then left the campus without getting caught. I walked the mile and a half home through neighborhoods and crossing the major highway without any crosswalk or crossing guard, then through the park until I got home where my older sis and her boyfriend were _very_ surprised to find me home. Not that I caught them doing anything nasty, thankfully.


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## SarahNorthman

I think a popular misconception is that adulthood is all sunshine and rainbows. Yeah right. 3/4 Of the time I just want to take naps and eat Mac n cheese.


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## geralmar

When I was in the sixth grade my parents gave me a Bible with the words of Jesus Christ printed in red. I was surprised that Jesus was a communist.


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## SeptimalTritone

SarahNorthman said:


> I think a popular misconception is that adulthood is all sunshine and rainbows. Yeah right. *3/4 Of the time I just want to take naps and eat Mac n cheese.*


Isn't that the very definition of sunshine and rainbows?


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## SarahNorthman

SeptimalTritone said:


> Isn't that the very definition of sunshine and rainbows?


Yes, yes it is. And I just don't have the time to do it anymore. Adios childhood.


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## PetrB

trazom said:


> - Attaching a letter to a balloon and releasing it so my dead grandma would be able to read it up in heaven.


This is so perfectly sweet, funny and poignant that it may just be the best child-wonder / think-it-must-be-so perspective yet posted in this thread.

Thanks!


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## science

I thought that the TV worked by little Christmas tree lights moving around inside the TV. 

I thought that if I climbed a tree high enough, I'd be able to see my friend's house. I fell out and had to go to the emergency room and still have the scars! 

I thought girls were naturally good and boys were naturally bad! I thought that girls only "liked" boys to be nice to us. (To some degree, this attitude lasted until college....) 

My childhood apophatic theology: "God is like a pink cloud, only not pink and not a cloud." (I really actually thought this. I never got a response that I could understand from adults when I shared my idea. I also spent a very long time wondering whether God had a parent that wasn't mentioned in the Bible, and if so whether there could be an infinite regression of divine parents. Of course I didn't have that vocabulary, but I had the idea. But if there had to be a first one, then why not the one that is? Clearly, I was born to be an atheist. Also along these lines, I had an argument with my mother that God could give superheroes superpowers if he wanted to, and she said he couldn't, and I still think I was right.) 

I thought women's two-piece swimsuits were the same as their underwear. 

My father died when I was seven, and for a couple years I spent a lot of time wondering if he could see me, or if God would give him messages for me. 

I thought that Dr. Pepper had alcohol, so I thought I wasn't allowed to drink it, and the kids who did were being bad. 

Of course I thought "professional wrestling" on TV was real. 

I thought I could play in the NBA! (Embarrassingly, this delusion lasted into high school.) 

I thought that Velma was supposed to be the cute one on Scooby-Doo. 

I thought that the 49ers played for Montana (because of Joe Montana).

This is hard to explain, and it's not really a misconception, but somehow I didn't know how to run. I was always the slowest runner in my class until middle school, when I somehow suddenly figured out how to run, and after that I was one of the fastest, in part because I enjoyed it so much! 

My great-grandfather used to play solitaire at night before going to bed. When he lost, he'd say, "He beat me." I always watched very carefully trying to figure out who was beating him. 

Also, this is horrible, but I was a very, very blond kid, and I thought God had given me such blond hair because I was so good. 

TMI! I grew out of several of these ideas....


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## science

Ingélou said:


> Before I knew the facts of life, I thought you got married and just waited till God sent some children along.


I was pretty young when another kid told me the facts of the life, and I couldn't make up my mind whether to believe him for several years. (I thought, "Nobody would do that.") I think I was in about fourth grade when I finally realized he'd been right.


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## geralmar

science said:


> I was pretty young when another kid told me the facts of the life, and I couldn't make up my mind whether to believe him for several years. (I thought, "Nobody would do that.") I think I was in about fourth grade when I finally realized he'd been right.


Rather than explain the facts of life to me, my parents handed me a book with pictures. After a few moments I looked at my mother, then my father; then burst out laughing.


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## Ingélou

I remember seeing sparrows mating on the shed roof as we were all sitting at a meal in the kitchen, and asking why two birds were on top of each other, and my father groaning and saying, 'Somebody tell that girl the facts of life!' :lol:


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## Taggart

Ingélou said:


> I remember seeing sparrows mating on the shed roof as we were all sitting at a meal in the kitchen, and asking why two birds were on top of each other, and my father groaning and saying, 'Somebody tell that girl the facts of life!' :lol:


Reminds one of Noel Coward:

It's like this, dear boy, the one in front is blind and the kind one behind is pushing him all the way to Bury St Edmunds.

(explaining to Laurence Olivier's young son who asked about two dogs that he'd seen ...)


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## Figleaf

geralmar said:


> Rather than explain the facts of life to me, my parents gave me a book with pictures. I looked at my mother, then my father; then burst out laughing. I'd never seen my mother blush before.


I don't think my parents actually told me the facts of life as far as I can remember, but they did leave a copy of 'The Joy of Sex' on a very low shelf and I used to consult it occasionally when they were out. Maybe my folks were hoping that the distinctly unarousing pictures of the randy ape man and his partner would put me off sex for life! I certainly wasn't into men with beards until I was 30 at least.


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## geralmar

I sort of believed that cartoon characters (e.g., Mickey Mouse) were real; but I was somewhat relieved to find out they were'nt. It was difficult fitting them into my world view. About Santa Claus I had major doubts: first because we didn't have a chimney; second because he seemed to be on every street corner in Austin, Texas. I still have an old b&w photo of my brother sitting on street Santa's knee. My father says Santa was dirty and drunk.


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## hpowders

My parents never taught me the facts of life either. I learned the facts of life by myself growing up on Brooklyn streets.
Thank the Lord for penicillin!


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## GreenMamba

I used to think Spanish referred to any language other than English. I recall my grandfather speaking a few words of German, and me claiming he was speaking Spanish.


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## Kibbles Croquettes

GreenMamba said:


> I used to think Spanish referred to any language other than English. I recall my grandfather speaking a few words of German, and me claiming he was speaking Spanish.


I thought English was ridiculously easy: just take a letter or few away from every word. Like this:

Helikopteri --> Helicopter
Traktori --> Tractor
Salaatti --> Salad
Basso --> Bass
Matto --> Mat

At that time it all seemed so clear, all of the evidence seemed to back up my theory. Then I found my big brother's schoolbooks -- among them the one used to study English. It all came crumbling down.


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## Ralfy

I imagined that the world would enter some sort of space age by the twenty-first century if it could avoid wars and environmental damage.


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## Yoshi

When I was really little I used to think cartoon characters were real and lived somewhere and cried when someone told me they weren't. I also thought clouds were made of cotton candy and I assumed that no one could be strong enough to put power lights or buildings on the street so a giant must have done the work.

I used to think that trees and animals could understand what I told them but couldn't answer. Because of this on my first year of school, as a very shy kid, I didn't talk to other kids but I was proud to tell my parents I was best friends with the tree of the school garden. Yes they were worried.

I remember that it was impossible to imagine that adults were kids once too. I just assumed that old people have always been old and I was lucky to be a healthy energetic kid and I would always stay like that.


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## EdwardBast

When I was three and a half years old my mom prefaced our first trip to church (Roman Catholic) with the words: "We're going to God's house." At some point during Mass, a stout man in a long robe pulled himself up a little spiral staircase to the pulpit and began to angrily abuse and berate the congregation. "This must be his house," I thought, "so this must be God." About ten years later my friend's father, a doctor, was summoned to the house of the church secretary, who lived in our neighborhood, to perform CPR on "God." When he returned home, my friend heard the good doctor mutter: "I should have let the fat b-----d die."


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## omega

I was fond of Babar the Elephant.
When he was shown working, King Babar would have huge stacks of papers to sign on his desk.
So I figured out politicians would spend their days signing papers.


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## Ingélou

I remember when I was a girl of eight making up a story about a royal family. The King and Queen had been married for five years, and had eight children. My elder sister (aged 16) said, 'You know, that isn't really possible.' I said, 'Not even if some of them were twins?' She then conceded that it *was* possible but added - much to my mystification - that 'it wouldn't be a very good idea!' :lol:


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## michaels

I remember walking home from school past a doctors office with his name, then "MD" afterwards... I was convinced that MD stood for "Mad Doctor" and barely resisted the urge to spy in on the insanity that must go on inside. I am absolutely not joking and had convinced many of my friends of the same thing. I was quite disappointed as I grew to find I was sooooo wrong. 

I think imaginative boys come up with the kookiest things!


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## geralmar

I tried to read "Man and Superman." It wasn't anything like the comic books.


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## Dim7

I still have the misconceptions that hpowders actually looks like Leonard Bernstein and that MoonlightSonata is 20+ years old.


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## Ingélou

Not to mention that Mahlerian looks like Mahler - but as I didn't know about Mahler, he will always look like Bamber Gascoigne to me.

*Spot the Difference! * :lol:


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## hpowders

^^^Except for the smile. Did Mahler EVER smile???


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## Morimur

Childhood misconception: That people are inherently good — boy, was I wrong!


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## Ingélou

I don't think you were. Slightly misguided, maybe.


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## Taggart

hpowders said:


> Did Mahler EVER smile???


Yes. See http://www.talkclassical.com/6608-pictures-composers-3.html#post80674


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## elgar's ghost

When I was a nipper and getting into football I remember thinking that Leeds United were going to dominate English football for ever - thank God THAT never happened...


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## Morimur

Ingélou said:


> I don't think you were. Slightly misguided, maybe.


Not a fan of the _Total Depravity Doctrine_, eh?


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## Ingélou

Not a *fan*, though ok, it conveys a truth about the corruptibility of the human heart. 
But I think that *one gets more out of life and out of people* if one acts on the belief that everyone has good in them, and everyone has some imagination and talent.

Another childish misconception - that petrol spilt on the street was a rainbow colliding with earth. 
And I was endlessly curious & went round asking people if they'd rather be burned to death or freeze to death - be deaf or blind - and what sort of tombstone they'd like, and what sort of flowers on their grave. A real bundle of joy!


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## hpowders

Taggart said:


> Yes. See http://www.talkclassical.com/6608-pictures-composers-3.html#post80674


A rather awkward, uncomfortable attempt at a smile. The life of the party!!


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## CBD

My mother started giving me "the talk" at around age 10, I think. At the time, I could not believe what I was being told as it was just too disgusting. Instead, I thought that she was speaking metaphorically, and reproduction happened a different, more sanitary way.


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## trazom

PetrB said:


> This is so perfectly sweet, funny and poignant that it may just be the best child-wonder / think-it-must-be-so perspective yet posted in this thread.
> 
> Thanks!


Sorry I didn't see this comment earlier. Thank you for that! Glad to share.


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## geekfreak

well i`ll be here again as most of mine are to long for one post...


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## aajj

When i was a child, i thought a "birthday suit" was a real suit: black jacket, pants and dressy shoes, with a white shirt and bow tie. As my 7th or 8th birthday approached, i asked my mom if i could wear my "regular" clothes, not wanting to don a formal "birthday suit." She gave me a look and told me i could wear whatever i wanted for my birthday. I had to find out the true meaning of "birthday suit" on my own, later in life. :tiphat:


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## omega

Ingélou said:


> Another childish misconception - that petrol spilt on the street was a rainbow colliding with earth.
> And I was endlessly curious & went round asking people if they'd rather be burned to death or freeze to death - be deaf or blind - and what sort of tombstone they'd like, and what sort of flowers on their grave. A real bundle of joy!


Wow, this is really creepy...
:lol:


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## Rhombic

I thought that Denmark didn't exist. I also thought that people actually disliked the taste of coffee and only drank it to appear grown-up. I also used to think that, when learning about the Egyptians, the Aztec civilisation, the Vikings, the Tudors, etc. "in my younger and more vulnerable years", I was actually carrying out serious research.
I thought that when adults claimed that I had recently grown up or if they made any comments regarding my young age, they were not being condescending.
I had the impression that I was always of an average age, mature enough to think wisely. Even when I was around 5 years old. In addition, I always wondered what relatively older people (a few years older than me) thought about... and even how they thought _like_.


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## Dim7

Rhombic said:


> I also thought that people actually disliked the taste of coffee and only drank it to appear grown-up.


I still believe in this when it comes to black coffee.


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## SeptimalTritone

CBD said:


> My mother started giving me "the talk" at around age 10, I think. At the time, I could not believe what I was being told as it was just too disgusting. Instead, I thought that she was speaking metaphorically, and reproduction happened a different, more sanitary way.


So, when my dad first gave me that talk, I was 11. I remember thinking it was the coolest thing ever. I would go around telling absolutely everyone (younger kids, older kids, adults) about my new-found knowledge.

It's almost scary how little I've changed over 10 years.


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## Gaspard de la Nuit

I didn't understand that people/ things died, and when this was explained to me I was not at all happy - if I had been given some kind of a spiritual basis I feel I could have avoided a lot of suffering, on the other hand, I'm counting on that having to use and cultivate my own judgement has given me something I otherwise would have lacked.


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## SiegendesLicht

Ingélou said:


> And I was endlessly curious & went round asking people if they'd rather be burned to death or freeze to death - be deaf or blind - and what sort of tombstone they'd like, and what sort of flowers on their grave. A real bundle of joy!


I did that too - more to see the people freak out than anything


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## Pantheon

I remember as a child I thought that clouds were pig puffy solid things that you could sleep on. So when I first discovered the concept of Heaven, I figured that all the dead people of the world were sitting on those clouds watching us and laughing. Or alternatively, just resting _(he's not dead!)_
When I took the plane for the first time I was very shocked to realise that the plane didn't avoid these big things - rather, it just passed through them.
I also used to be very naive and believe what most people said, like all blond women with blue eyes are secretly witches who switch off the lights in the bathroom and murder you in cold blood. SUCH VIVID IMAGINATION.


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## Giordano

Ingélou said:


> Another *childish* misconception - that petrol spilt on the street was a rainbow colliding with earth. And I was endlessly curious & went round asking people if they'd rather be burned to death or freeze to death - be deaf or blind - and what sort of tombstone they'd like, and what sort of flowers on their grave. A real bundle of joy!


*Childlike*, I would say. 

And I don't find any of it (the asking) unpleasant. If I say, you were true in your childhood, would you be happy or offended? 

Burning to death is unpleasant, but if that's what they must do to you before progressing, it may be a worthwhile sacrifice.


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## Rehydration

That this sign meant you had to fly.







Until I was ten, at least.

That performing music meant you more or less sight-read it until you got good at the repetitive parts. Then I was taught how to practice. (I'd be a much more accomplished pianist now if I was encouraged to actually practice more!)


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## geralmar

I believed television commercials.


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## Gaspard de la Nuit

Ingélou said:


> I didn't know that a 'leaf' is another name for a page, so I thought 'turning over a new leaf' meant getting a leaf from a tree & turning it over.


Wow.....that's what I've always thought it meant....learned something new today 

I thought that people only died by mistake, like if they got shot or something - i.e., it wasn't something that happened to most people.


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## geralmar

I much preferred devil's food cake, but I would only eat angel's food cake so no one would think I was bad.

I worried that if I ate a piece of pound cake it would no longer weigh a pound and would then have to be called something else.


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## geralmar

The Easter Bunny was real. Santa Claus and God, I wasn't so sure.


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## Oebis

That suicide is cowardly. 
That talent leads to success. 
That people today are any less vicious and petty then the worst oppressors throughout history.


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## Ingélou

I was taught to read using phonics, and after having learned the sounds of the vowels and letters, I couldn't believe it when my teacher told me that w-a-s was pronounced 'woz' and not 'wass'. In fact, I believe that I argued it out with her.


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## geralmar

I remember being in the drug store with my father. We were standing in front of the magazine rack. He picked up a sports magazine and began leafing through it. I decided I would do the same and selected a picture magazine from a lower shelf. I was surprised but intrigued to discover that the magazine was full of b&w photographs of completely unclothed women with certain body parts strategically blurred out. (This was the 1950s.). I intently studied the photographs, trying to decide if the photography was defective or girls were actually blurry like that. I heard a sudden loud gasp and looked up and into the horrified face of my father. He tore the magazine from my grasp and dragged me out of the store and onto the sidewalk. He refused to explain why he was so upset. I then asked if my mother was like the ladies in the magazine and had blurry parts, too. I don't recall an answer.


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## Lucifer Saudade

Reading all these, I can't help feeling something's wrong with my memory as I can't recall even a single misconception from my kiddy days! 

Did I believe in superheroes? No. Life after death? Nope. But I *do* remember being puzzled about how women had children. I saw women screaming in movies as they gave birth, and then the baby was there... but what body part could it have come from? 

I didn't have to wait too long...


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## geralmar

Killers from Space was irrefutably the greatest motion picture of all time. When I consulted the almanac I was dumbfounded to learn that not only did it not win the Oscar for Best Picture of 1954, it wasn't even nominated. I couldn't fathom what was wrong with the Academy.


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## georgedelorean

It wasn't misconceptions so much as it was things I misheard. Among these were: 
"Oh, my crust" Got this from "I'm impressed." (Don't know how that one worked).
"Hell and dalmatian" from "Hell and damnation."

If I think of any others, I'll let you know.


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## Meyerbeer Smith

That the world before I was born was in black and white, and colour was only a recent invention. I'd seen monochrome photos of "the olden days", so thought that was what the world looked like back then.

That God was a black man in a red robe, with a coconut shell on his head. (Probably a skullcap.)

Heaven and Hell were next to each other, and they fought wars while riding on the backs of pterodactyls.

That dreams came from "outside" - I could see them entering and leaving rooms, and thought others would be able to see them too.

That my parents might have been old enough to remember the the Triassic, or at least the pyramids being built.


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