# Who Would Play Bach In A Movie?



## kamalayka (Sep 8, 2012)

I pick Steven Seagal.

:clap:


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

kamalayka said:


> I pick Steven Seagal.
> 
> :clap:


Looks like a pigeon - or yeah, a seagull - has commented already.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Well, he's a musician after all.


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## Kieran (Aug 24, 2010)

Arnold Schwarzenegger said he'd do it: "I'll be Bach!"


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

There is a movie with Bach in it that has a remarkably fitting German actor for it, the film is "My name is Bach" but in German.

Also included are Carl Philip and Wilhelm Freidemann and Frederich the Great and Quanz and more.


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## Klavierspieler (Jul 16, 2011)

clavichorder said:


> There is a movie with Bach in it that has a remarkably fitting German actor for it, the film is "My name is Bach" but in German.
> 
> Also included are Carl Philip and Wilhelm Freidemann and Frederich the Great and Quanz and more.


_Mein Name ist Bach_... Maybe I'll look into that.


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## Antihero (Feb 6, 2013)




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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

_Antihero_, you have found a treasure. Many thanks.


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

Hilltroll72 said:


> _Antihero_, you have found a treasure. Many thanks.


Quite agree.

Another actor (rather similar looking) is Robbie Coltrane - I've picked his cod Dr Johnson from Blackadder in preference to the serious one.






Not surprising when you consider how great Dr Johnson was.


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## ptr (Jan 22, 2013)

Bruno Ganz of course, he should continue playing all "important" Germans throughout history!










And he has already loads of experience playing angels!

/ptr


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## schuberkovich (Apr 7, 2013)

Taggart said:


> Quite agree.
> 
> Another actor (rather similar looking) is Robbie Coltrane - I've picked his cod Dr Johnson from Blackadder in preference to the serious one.
> 
> Not surprising when you consider how great Dr Johnson was.


I love Blackadder


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

How about Sacha Baron Cohen??????

More Seriously Geoffery Rush?

Or less Seriously Garry McDonald AKA Norman Guston


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## Karabiner (Apr 1, 2013)

Gustav Leonhardt played Bach in "Chronik der Anna Magdalena Bach".


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

Well I don't mind having a go at it ,maybe it'll suit me.


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## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

moody said:


> Well I don't mind having a go at it ,maybe it'll suit me.


I would only hope that this hypothetical film contains depictions of those tavern fights in which Bach was prone to become mired. Moody, can you punch in sequences and inversions?


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Novelette said:


> I would only hope that this hypothetical film contains depictions of those tavern fights in which Bach was prone to become mired. Moody, can you punch in sequences and inversions?


I can see it now. Bach, in the best Shaw Brothers Hong Kong style, takes on a vicious gang of bassoon players from another dojo... The choreography! The music! Inspired by a TRUE STORY!


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

Novelette said:


> I would only hope that this hypothetical film contains depictions of those tavern fights in which Bach was prone to become mired. Moody, can you punch in sequences and inversions?


Can I ever !!!


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## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

KenOC said:


> I can see it now. Bach, in the best Shaw Brothers Hong Kong style, takes on a vicious gang of bassoon players from another dojo... The choreography! The music! Inspired by a TRUE STORY!


Oh man, so when is this film coming out? I'm growing impatient now!


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Well, here's a first pass at the concept.

Part 1: Bach, minding his own business, is confronted by a gang from a rival dojo who accuse Bach of calling one of them a "nanny-goat bassoonist." Bach denies saying this, but he admits to thinking it. A battle ensues -- lots of jumps and kicks, people running up and down walls and trees, that sort of thing -- and the gang is bruised and defeated. It withdraws.

Part 2: The bassoonists kidnap Bach's girlfriend, the sexy but feisty Mei Lung (Beautiful Dragon). They take her to their Dojo and send a runner to Bach. Carved in the runner's back is the message: Come and fight us, or we will sacrifice the girl to our Goddess, Broken Reed.

Part 3: Nothing loathe, Bach sets out for the dojo. But on his way, he sees on his Google Glasses (trademark) that the earth is threatened by invaders from the evil planet Dodecaphonia. He knows that he can repel the invasion by playing his Chaconne on the erhu, or he can rescue his girlfriend -- but is there time to do both?

Yes friends, you'll have to see the movie to see how this all comes out!


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## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

KenOC said:


> But on his way, he sees on his Google Glasses (trademark) that the earth is threatened by invaders from the *evil planet Dodecaphonia*.


Best. Line. Ever.

I'm prepared to invest in the production of this work.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Novelette said:


> Best. Line. Ever.
> 
> I'm prepared to invest in the production of this work.


Very cute............

Shame about part Part 4 of the movie where the twelve-tone serialists police come and lock Bach away Guantanamo Bay for crimes against music...........

I would like to see the sequel "Schoenberg Strikes Bach"


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

Philip Seymour Hoffman would've been perfect to play Bach. Since he's unfortunately passed, only John Goodman is left.


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## Ravndal (Jun 8, 2012)

Mickey Rourke


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## Couac Addict (Oct 16, 2013)

Copland and Bach...together at last.


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## millionrainbows (Jun 23, 2012)

John Housman


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

But he be dead!!!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Liam Neeson could pull it off, given the proper wig.


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## scratchgolf (Nov 15, 2013)

Judi Dench would make an AMAZING Bach!!!


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

scratchgolf said:


> Judi Dench would make an AMAZING Bach!!!


Man, you are not only way out there, but you are so way right! Her role of Georges Sand in _Impromtu_ was just a busman's holiday warm-up 

Give that man a cigar.


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## scratchgolf (Nov 15, 2013)

A cigar from someone besides Science please. He keeps trying to push Fuente Opus X on me.


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

scratchgolf said:


> A cigar from someone besides Science please. He keeps trying to push Fuente Opus X on me.


I smoked one for the first time last week and it was ok.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

In this day and age, anybody playing Bach in a movie might get shot. Just sit there, shut up and enjoy the film. Don't be rude to other cinema-goers.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

hpowders said:


> But he be dead!!!


So is Bach, so it'll all work itself out.

Anyway, my vote goes for Samuel L. Jackson, who will be the best #%@$# Bach that $%#@$ film has ever seen.


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

If Hollywood ever makes a Bach biopic, I am sure they'll cast one of those two Shakespearean thespians; Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt in the title role. Bunch of jokers.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Lope de Aguirre said:


> If Hollywood ever makes a Bach biopic, I am sure they'll cast one of those two Shakespearean thespians; Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt in the title role. Bunch of jokers.


Yes, and as usual with Hollywood biopics, they'll get a tad creative with the actual facts. After his youthful "Be minor" mass, Bach will go on to serve a stint in the Special Forces, and then create a whole body of hymns for the Church of Scientology.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Bach would be played nicely by Steven Segal since he'd wear a wig well, has become a bit overweight, and is (of course) a musician. Plus, he appears to need the money. It's a win-win!


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## scratchgolf (Nov 15, 2013)

KenOC said:


> Bach would be played nicely by Steven Segal since he'd wear a wig well, has become a bit overweight, and is (of course) a musician. Plus, he appears to need the money. It's a win-win!


Now we're talking. Perhaps if Steven Segal plays Bach, Katey Sagal can make a cameo as Vivaldi.


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## Morimur (Jan 23, 2014)

KenOC said:


> Bach would be played nicely by Steven Segal since he'd wear a wig well, has become a bit overweight, and is (of course) a musician. Plus, he appears to need the money. It's a win-win!


Looks more like the Buddha to me.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Given his choice of instrument, perhaps Mr. Seagal would be more suited to play the role of Silvius Leopold Weiss?


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## Weston (Jul 11, 2008)

We'd do just as well getting Sebastian Bach for the role, and he wouldn't have to change his name.









Kidding aside, I think Stephen Fry is perfect for the job.


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