# Couchie



## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

THE single most _conservative_ member on TC. Any objections?


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

THE single most _conservative_ Wagnerite member on TC. Any objections?


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> THE single most _conservative_ Wagnerite member on TC. Any objections?


Other than the extreme tedium of 'listening' to the reliably played every day, "Wagner! Wagner! Wagner!" tape loop, none.

There are unhealthier obsessions: but, hey, if you've got a severe disorder, may as well put a good cultural face on it


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

PetrB said:


> Other than the extreme tedium of 'listening' to the reliably played every day, "Wagner! Wagner! Wagner!" tape loop, none.
> 
> There are unhealthier obsessions: but, hey, if you've got a severe disorder, may as well put a good cultural face on it


That's why I like Couchie. He reminds me of a broken Wagner record.


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## Stargazer (Nov 9, 2011)

When I read his posts, sometimes I wonder if he's really as obsessed as he says, or if he's just got an image to uphold.


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## Chrythes (Oct 13, 2011)

I think he's a caricature.


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## emiellucifuge (May 26, 2009)

I though caricatures only existed in newspapers until now


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## Badinerie (May 3, 2008)

Maybe he IS Wagner.....or thinks he is!


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

Couchie reminds me of Chet in Weird Science.


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## WolfAlphaX (May 7, 2012)

Is couched the vampire pig?


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## WolfAlphaX (May 7, 2012)

Couchie sorry. Stupid spellcheck


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

WolfAlphaX said:


> Is couched the vampire pig?


Now you're on dangerous ground.


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> THE single most _conservative_ Wagnerite member on TC. Any objections?


He's like a fly trapped against the window---somebody should reach for the rolled up newspaper.


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## samurai (Apr 22, 2011)

moody said:


> He's like a fly trapped against the window---somebody should reach for the rolled up newspaper.


*OUCH!!!* :scold:


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> THE single most _conservative_ Wagnerite member on TC. Any objections?


Actually SiegendesLicht is a more conservative Wagnerite than I.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

WolfAlphaX said:


> Is couched the vampire pig?


No. That's Polednice. This is Couchie (his arch nemesis):


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

kv466 said:


> Couchie reminds me of Chet in Weird Science.


as in about 14 years of age and socially clueless?


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## samurai (Apr 22, 2011)

PetrB said:


> as in about 14 years of age and socially clueless?


You really know how to hurt a guy, dont you?


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

PetrB said:


> as in about 14 years of age and socially clueless?


This to me?
This, PetrB, to me?
Whither has loyalty fled
now that PetrB has betrayed me?
What price now honour
and honesty,
now that the champion of all honour,
PetrB, has lost it?
As PetrB appointed himself
its emblem,
where has virtue
flown to,
fleeing from my friend, from
PetrB, who has betrayed me?


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

I think he is a computer bot


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

WolfAlphaX said:


> Is couched the vampire pig?


If you enjoy the feel of your warm, delicious, pulsating heart inside your rib cage, and would rather that's where it stayed, I advise you to never again confuse the Mighty Porcyne Vampyre - ethereal beast of the night, lurker amongst the shadows, shape-shifter of guile - with that putrid, hideous, repugnant mass of green cancer that would be proud to call itself the nasal discharge of the fools who kneel before me and weep for their lives.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Polednice said:


> If you enjoy the feel of your warm, delicious, pulsating heart inside your rib cage, and would rather that's where it stayed, I advise you to never again confuse the Mighty Porcyne Vampyre - ethereal beast of the night, lurker amongst the shadows, shape-shifter of guile - with that putrid, hideous, repugnant mass of green cancer that would be proud to call itself the nasal discharge of the fools who kneel before me and weep for their lives.


Why did you serve me
for so long?
Why the reputation of honour,
the power and greatness
which you won for Couchie?
Did the honour and renown,
greatness and power,
the services
beyond number,
have to be repaid by Couchie's dishonour?
Did you value so lightly
his gratitude
which gave you as your very own inheritance
that which you had won for him,
his renown and his Kingdom?
When, childless,
his wife died,
he loved you so much
that never again
did Couchie intend to wed.
When all the people
from court and country
thronged to him,
begging and imploring him
to give the country a queen
and to take for himself a wife;
when you yourself
swore to your uncle
that you would carry out
the wishes of the court
and the will of the country, then,
against the wishes of court and country,
in opposition even to you,
with circumspection and kindness
he declined
until you, Polednice, threatened
to exile yourself for ever
from court and country
if you yourself
were not dispatched
to win a bride for the King.
And so he let it be.
This glorious woman
that your courage won for me,
who could behold her,
who could know her,
who could proudly
call her his own
and not think himself blessed?
She, whom I could never
dare approach,
she for whom I
foreswore my desires
in bashful reverence,
so splendid,
so lovely, so sublime,
who could not but
refresh my soul,
despite enemies and dangers
this royal bride
you presented to me.
Now, since by such
a possession you rendered
my heart more open to pain than before,
there, where I was rendered
soft, sensitive and exposed
was I stricken
without hope
that I might ever be healed.
Why so sorely,
wretched man,
did you wound me there now?
There, with the weapon
of tormenting poison,
searing and maiming
my senses and my mind
so that my fidelity
to my friend is stifled,
my open heart
filled with suspicion,
so that now, secretly
and in the dead of night
I creep up on you, my friend, eavesdropping,
and see my honour ended?
No heaven will redeem it for me -
why this hell for me?
No misery will atone for it -
why this disgrace?
The uncharted depths
of its mysterious causes,
who will make them known to the world?


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> THE single most _conservative_ Wagnerite member on TC. Any objections?


Not necessarily conservative, just persistent. Maybe too persistent?

I have a confession to make. I think I'm in love with Couchie. I am his willing captive, as if I have a very bad case of Stockholm Syndrome.

Next thing you know it, I will not be wasting my money on buying cd's of _real_ music but the music-of-a-composer-who-is-for-diehard-fans-whose-options-are-thin-on-the-ground-with-other-composers-as-noone-else-writes-such-gargantuan-megalomaniacal-operas-that-are-truly-over-the-top-and-have-absolutely-no-artistic-value-whatsoever.

Glad I got that out of my system. Now I will turn on von Karajan's _Ring_ cycle...not...


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Don't worry Sid. I'll get ya.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

Sorrow is a sensation not suffered by my kind;
we vile vultures of the void may walk amongst
men of flesh with feelings of fire and courage,
but bliss, boredom and bleakness are blights
that we are free to forgo, so forgive me when,
with cold, callous, uncaring whim,
I discard your desperate demands for healing,
for pity, for penance or prayer. Weakness
was your flaw, foul fiend of the gas-pits;
so loyal, loving and lustful in your senility
that you, the ******* King were blind to the bitterness
of the people. In private, they pleaded with me
to enlist my wits and work to wreck your mind;
they _laughed_ at you, Lord - laughed at your frailty -
but pathetic like you, approached me in private
to do the deceitful deeds. Am I to blame, then,
for your inability, your ignorance, your ineptitude,
that you did not believe the barons when the bride
arrived at court and they cried she was a crude
unworthy wench? It was unwise to silence them -
the beautiful bride, bright and tempting, was bait;
I'd feasted on her fulsome neck a fortnight before,
and thus she served me senselessly, seducing
the Mighty Couchie, Master of Madness, now reduced
to a bare, blubbering heap, brazenly calling out
for aid! IF THESE VEINS OF VICIOUS VITRIOL
COULD CONTAIN AN OUNCE OF COMPASSION,
I WOULD NOT SQUANDER THE SLIGHTEST SYMPATHY
ON YOUR WRETCHEDNESS. RUINED, REDUCED TO NOTHING,
YOU ARE DEBASED, DISGUSTING. Now defeated,
dear Couchie, yearn for Death's destruction.
There is nothing and no one here for you now.


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## Badinerie (May 3, 2008)

Sorry...did I just slip into a teenage goth forum?


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

I just like how Couchie and Poldenice bounce off each other.


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## Roberto (Jul 17, 2010)

In the land of dreamers there lay one
Who with no quiet breast heard the mournful horns,
The savage Teutonic blasts of the titan, 
Summoning his bewildered spirit to arms,
Commanding him to lifelong loyalty
On pain of endless woe. 
His name Sir Couchie, one made a knight 
For bold defence of his liege lord the Meister. 
And though not first or foremost in the service
of this most mighty creator of Der Ring, 
Sir Couchie stood on the music-lovers path
and loudly proclaimed that all who passed
Must pay their homage due to his Lord. 
And when the wanderers sneered at him 
and mocked his childlike devotion,
he, though saddened, told them of the bliss
that theirs would be if they would listen - 
not to him, forbid it gods, but to his Meister
WAGNER! Saying which name, his gaze aloft was raised
And seemed to glow in the light of Himmlische.

But one there came to him named Polednice
A friend erstwhile, but now most bitter foe
(For reason whereof thou must need look
In the book of the deeds of Couchie),
And wicked porcyne Vampyre, uttering
Vile and loathsoome threats, that all who watched
(Peaceful travellers, wont to sing sweet songs)
Grew pale at the dreadful sight, fearing
That Sir Couchie's days were done and that most foully.

................................ _to be continued_


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

Jeez, whippersnappers nowadays. The influence of video games?


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

I think he is softening in his wagnerism................ but only on days not ending in y


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