# Are you a perfectionist? Do you know somebody who is? Explain.



## myaskovsky2002 (Oct 3, 2010)

I am not, my wife is.


----------



## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

I am my own worst critic when it comes to my performing abilities .

I came up with a little phrase 12 years ago ...

_Amateurs practice until they get it right ... Professionals practice until they can't get it wrong._


----------



## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

I guess I'm that way. Most court reporters I know are also. That's probably what draws us into that field. But a lot of torment comes with it - all that "to err is human" baggage. I wish I could ascend to godhood and get it over with.


----------



## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

Yes, I revise a lot everything I do. The mere idea that something is wrong and I don't know it simply kills me. It's a psychological battle!. And in the case where I know what is wrong, I simply cannot move forward until I fix the problem. Particularly in physics.


----------



## myaskovsky2002 (Oct 3, 2010)

I'm so used to making mistakes... And, the worst part is that I forgive myself easily... LOL. When I make translations, I translate rather quickly, but plenty ofe mistakes, I read myself again and I correct the best I can.. Then I give it to my professional "filter" (i.e. my wife) who has that perfect spirit and the job is always great! I feel great the way I am, I am not patient enough to become a perfectionist. I'm pretty sure Mozart wasn't (was he?). He lived just 35 years...do you think, looking to his huge production, he took the time to correct? I guess, you can't produce so much when you are a perfectionist. He was a real GENIOUS though. 
Look at Balzac. Nevertheless, he produced a lot...But he lived enough to do so. ("I pass most of my time rewriting texts"). Good for you Honoré. I don't have the patience to do that. My Portuguese sucks, my Italian as well, probably my written English is not great (my pronounciation is quite good), my Russian is so, so....Do you think I mind? I speak in these languages with my mistakes fast enough... And when you don't speak perfectly the language, you can't even notice my multiple mistakes. When I write here, I'm sure I make many different kinds of mistakes...Mene frega! LOL. Je m'en fous! I don't give a fig! Me importa poco!

Ciao

Martin


----------



## Praeludium (Oct 9, 2011)

About music : too much. Being a perfectionist with rather poor discipline and work ethic lead to burn out quite often 

About almost all the rest : nope. 

I'm a messy perfectionist, I'm both lazy and fussy. I'm the perfect romantic artist ! Humm...


----------



## myaskovsky2002 (Oct 3, 2010)

If I were a normal guy, I should be impressed and jealous by perfectionists. Well, I am absolutely not! The best fault I consider I have: I am not patient. Many consider patience as a vertue. Not me! I could occasionally be a little perfectionist when I am convinced that otherwise I won't get it.

Martin


----------



## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

myaskovsky2002 said:


> If I were a normal guy, I should be impressed and jealous by perfectionists. Well, I am absolutely not! The best fault I consider I have: I am not patient. Many consider patience as a vertue. Not me! I could occasionally be a little perfectionist when I am convinced that otherwise I won't get it.
> 
> Martin


I'm a perfectionist and impatient!, imagine my internal struggle!


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

Sometimes I am a perfectionist, sometimes I'm not. 

My mum is a perfectionist.


----------



## MaestroViolinist (May 22, 2012)

aleazk said:


> I'm a perfectionist and impatient!, imagine my internal struggle!


Me too! Except I am also stubborn, which helps a lot!


----------



## AlainB (Nov 20, 2011)

Krummhorn said:


> I am my own worst critic when it comes to my performing abilities .
> 
> I came up with a little phrase 12 years ago ...
> 
> _Amateurs practice until they get it right ... Professionals practice until they can't get it wrong._


Well, that's not entirely true, in my opinion. I, for one, am an amateur and am pretty much seeking to perfect my performances or practices at home; never satisfied. Sure, there's a point where amateurs make their "rite of passage" to the professional side, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the amateur stopped being a perfectionist (if he/she has been one at all to begin with). 

And likewise, I'm pretty much my own worst critic as well - not always negatively, but still. Same goes for my mother.


----------



## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

I think there's a kind of sliding scale of perfectionists. From top (most perfectionist) to bottom, it goes something like this, maybe:

1. Anally retentive obsessed perfectionist / perfection freak
2. V.P.P. or Very Pedantic Person
3. Normal perfectionist - eg. perfectionist in things that matter (eg. in matters of life and death, YES, but NOT in things like hanging out the socks to dry on the line in matching colour coded pairs, etc.)
4. Non-perfectionist
5. Nowhere near perfectionist (IMperfectionist?)



ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Sometimes I am a perfectionist, sometimes I'm not...


Same here.


----------



## science (Oct 14, 2010)

Some people say I am, but I don't experience things that way. I just have a higher standard for competence than most people.

More could be said on this, but people don't like me when I share these thoughts.


----------



## myaskovsky2002 (Oct 3, 2010)

MaestroViolinist said:


> Me too! Except I am also stubborn, which helps a lot!


It helps a lot to become crazy? LOL


----------



## myaskovsky2002 (Oct 3, 2010)

Sid James said:


> I think there's a kind of sliding scale of perfectionists. From top (most perfectionist) to bottom, it goes something like this, maybe:
> 
> 1. Anally retentive obsessed perfectionist / perfection freak
> 2. V.P.P. or Very Pedantic Person
> ...


I buy your idea of categories! I am between 3 and 4...Depending of the importance of the matter.... Pedantic? I can't see the relation between pedantic and perfectionist... I don't like pedantic people.

Martin, humble


----------



## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

science said:


> Some people say I am, but I don't experience things that way. I just have a higher standard for competence than most people.
> 
> More could be said on this, but people don't like me when I share these thoughts.


You're free to say what you want here. It's the community forum, a fun bit of this site, I thought? Try not take it too seriously (although it's easy to do that, I know).



myaskovsky2002 said:


> I buy your idea of categories! I am between 3 and 4...Depending of the importance of the matter.... Pedantic? I can't see the relation between pedantic and perfectionist... I don't like pedantic people.
> 
> ...


I don't know. It just came to my mind. It's like some people are willing to bend rules, others are for the strict 'black letter' of the law. I think a lot of life is in the grey areas. Even things you thought could not be creative can be. I like to explore the grey areas and try think laterally (not 'literally?').

But ultimately depends on the situation/context at hand.

I am often at the supermarket and I ask for say half a kilo of ham. Sometimes it's a bit over or under, the person at the counter might put in more or less. When they ask me 'is it okay if I put 520 grams?,' I usually don't fuss, I say that's okay. But a pedantic person would want EXACTLY 500 grams, no ifs no buts. I kind of see a connection between that and perfectionism. In that case, the person serving me has to be 100 per cent perfect. But you know what they say, it's not a perfect world.


----------



## MaestroViolinist (May 22, 2012)

myaskovsky2002 said:


> It helps a lot to become crazy? LOL


Hahaha :lol: That's not quite what I meant...


----------



## myaskovsky2002 (Oct 3, 2010)

Sid James said:


> You're free to say what you want here. It's the community forum, a fun bit of this site, I thought? Try not take it too seriously (although it's easy to do that, I know).
> 
> I don't know. It just came to my mind. It's like some people are willing to bend rules, others are for the strict 'black letter' of the law. I think a lot of life is in the grey areas. Even things you thought could not be creative can be. I like to explore the grey areas and try think laterally (not 'literally?').
> 
> ...


I think like you. The only difference, maybe : I am a dog person. LOL

Martin


----------



## myaskovsky2002 (Oct 3, 2010)

Stubborn + perfectionist = neurotic ? I would say at 94.3245 it is % true.

Martin, just stubborn (cabeza dura). Lol

P.S. see http://www.talkclassical.com/16667-danielle-steel.html


----------



## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

A perfectionist will, even knowing what they have done / are doing is 'pretty excellent' not be satisfied with that, always thinking - no, _knowing_, it could be 'better,' or that much closer to 'perfect.'

Pedantry has nothing to do with it. The archetype 'petty academic' is one more concerned with dotting all the I's, crossing all the T's, and adhering to form to a degree where they miss the bigger picture: they are often the antithesis of 'creative' anything.

On the practical level, there is great distinction between being 'meticulous' and 'fastidious.' I don't think there are / were many successful fastidious creatives, but most / many were meticulous in plying their craft.

The perfectionist will not get bogged down in or about crossing the T's and dotting the I's, but before they are done, they will have covered every little detail and aspect of the work.

A perfectionist is someone who will never accept the phrase, "Good enough." In fact, to a true perfectionist, that phrase is repulsive. Many a perfectionist is a perfectionist only in matters important to them. Fastidious people are often, more compulsively, fastidious about all matters in which they are involved, i.e. unable to distinguish what is important from that which is not.

In the perfectionist debit column: 
Many a perfectionist will not finish what they began, because they know it will never be truly perfect, "So, why bother?''


----------



## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

Very frequently a perfectionist. The good news is, I've mellowed out over the years--a little bit, at least. :angel:


----------



## Kieran (Aug 24, 2010)

I'm a perfectionist and I'm lazy as hell.

Not a comfortable combo...


----------



## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

Kieran said:


> I'm a perfectionist and I'm lazy as hell.
> 
> Not a comfortable combo...


Relax you'll get used to it. People say I've been that way for years.


----------



## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

Taggart said:


> Relax you'll get used to it. People say I've been that way for years.


For 'people', read 'wife'. Taggart counts the teaspoons as he dries the dishes & gets worried if there's still one left in my washing up water. When discussing this trait, we often refer to Captain Queeg & his 'little steel balls' in The Caine Mutiny.

I'm a perfectionist sometimes. When I was a teacher, I would not tolerate it if even one pupil looked as if s/he wasn't listening. When I play the violin in my lessons, I might play well & be praised, but it bothers me if even one note is out of tune. But I've never been a perfectionist about ironing or clothes. As a child I'd get into trouble for not cleaning my shoes before setting out to school in the morning, so developed a brilliant line in conversation to deflect parental attention while exiting the house.


----------



## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

I am a perfectionist only when it comes to things I care about. I'm guaranteed to do my very best at something in which I have a personal interest*, conversely I am guaranteed not to do very well if I have no interest in what I am doing, as such I have never lasted long in positions of regular employment but have always been fortunate enough to hand in my week's notice before I could be sacked.

*The other day I was up late baking for a somewhat important event. I made a complicated cake (which takes around two hours to make in total) that went wrong, so I rushed out on foot in the pouring rain to the Tesco Express (think 7-Eleven) with only 10 minutes to spare and got all the ingredients again. Having made the cake correctly I then screwed up the topping twice, the third attempt was good but not correct and by then I no longer had the necessary ingredients, so I ended up making something completely different for the event.


----------



## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

Crudblud said:


> I am a perfectionist only when it comes to things I care about. I'm guaranteed to do my very best at something in which I have a personal interest*, conversely I am guaranteed not to do very well if I have no interest in what I am doing, as such I have never lasted long in positions of regular employment but have always been fortunate enough to hand in my week's notice before I could be sacked.
> 
> *The other day I was up late baking for a somewhat important event. I made a complicated cake (which takes around two hours to make in total) that went wrong, so I rushed out on foot in the pouring rain to the Tesco Express (think 7-Eleven) with only 10 minutes to spare and got all the ingredients again. Having made the cake correctly I then screwed up the topping twice, the third attempt was good but not correct and by then I no longer had the necessary ingredients, so I ended up making something completely different for the event.


You should definitely make a visit to the group PA (Perfectionists Anonymous). They have developed a twelve-step method. The person who makes those twelve steps in a _perfect_ way can honestly say "I'm not a perfectionist anymore!".


----------



## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

Crudblud said:


> I am a perfectionist only when it comes to things I care about. I'm guaranteed to do my very best at something in which I have a personal interest*, conversely I am guaranteed not to do very well if I have no interest in what I am doing, as such I have never lasted long in positions of regular employment but have always been fortunate enough to hand in my week's notice before I could be sacked.
> 
> *The other day I was up late baking for a somewhat important event. I made a complicated cake (which takes around two hours to make in total) that went wrong, so I rushed out on foot in the pouring rain to the Tesco Express (think 7-Eleven) with only 10 minutes to spare and got all the ingredients again. Having made the cake correctly I then screwed up the topping twice, the third attempt was good but not correct and by then I no longer had the necessary ingredients, so I ended up making something completely different for the event.


I admire your tenacity! This is why I don't bake, I would drive myself completely mad. I'm sure the second cake tasted well, notwithstanding? Or was it unsalvageable?


----------



## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

Novelette said:


> I admire your tenacity! This is why I don't bake, I would drive myself completely mad. I'm sure the second cake tasted well, notwithstanding? Or was it unsalvageable?


The second cake was just right, unfortunately the topping was not. I've done the recipe before and better, so I wasn't comfortable presenting that one.


----------



## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

Crudblud said:


> The second cake was just right, unfortunately the topping was not. I've done the recipe before and better, so I wasn't comfortable presenting that one.


Next time, it'll be just right, I'm sure!


----------



## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

Novelette said:


> Next time, it'll be just right, I'm sure!


The problem is that it requires you to boil sugar water for the topping and I don't have a specialised sugar thermometer, since it needs to be degree-exact to get a specific set this causes some problems - one degree can be the difference between soft caramel and fudge, for instance. I've managed to get it reasonably close before but I guess it was just lucky timing.


----------



## Mesa (Mar 2, 2012)

I'll just chime in that i'm totally stealing _Complicated Cake_ for a band name.


----------



## OboeKnight (Jan 25, 2013)

I'm a perfectionist when it comes to music. I am never satisfied with my performance, no matter how grand everyone tells me it is. I know when I play well, even great, but I always know of something I could have done better...more emotion in a passage, stretched a note a bit more, more crescendo into a phrase...it's really quite annoying how I always pick myself apart. However, I'd rather be this way than be content with my playing. If I were content and felt that I'd "arrived" at 17, there would be no point in my going to study music...so I am glad that I am a perfectionist. And, making sure that every note in my 32nd note passage lines up perfectly, will pay off some day lol.


----------



## Cheyenne (Aug 6, 2012)

No, I can live with occasional mediocrity. Somehow I've always been rather good at letting go, stopping - not going too far with things. It's very plain and pedestrian in a way, but very useful too, I suppose.


----------



## deggial (Jan 20, 2013)

PetrB said:


> In the perfectionist debit column:
> Many a perfectionist will not finish what they began, because they know it will never be truly perfect, "So, why bother?''


exactamundo.....


----------

