# A very interesting topic: is your partner also a classical lover?



## KevinW (Nov 21, 2021)

Hello People,

As a teenager, I have a VERY, VERY funny topic for you today:lol:: Is your romantic partner also a classical music lover? If so, were you brought together by classical music, or you met each other by other occasions and learned that each other were classical lovers later? Also, has anybody ever tried to introduce classical music to your love? If you have, was it successful at last? 

I am a teenager and, honestly, my parents are asking their son to find a girlfriend!:lol: I am trying to find one in school via classical music. I actually have limited ways to become friends with people other than classical music because that is where my greatest interest lies. Sadly, nobody in my school seems to love classical, and I think I have to find someone and introduce them with the classical music I love. Is there any instructions for me? Haha!

KevinW

P.S. Never listen to the sad break-up music of the first movement in Mozart's Sinfonia Concertante. Listen to the third movement! Dance together with your companion!


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## mikeh375 (Sep 7, 2017)

Yes, my wife is a classical music lover too, she also achieved a grade 8 distinction on the clarinet.
We met at a mutual friends New Years party many years ago. I was half cut but summoned up my best when we started talking about Mahler...it worked.
Your turn will come Kevin and when it does....boy oh boy.


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## Vicente (Aug 5, 2015)

I have been married for 31 years and music has not been a fundamental factor in our relationship. Elena, my wife, likes it and almost always accompanies me to the concerts I attend. The main problem is that she doesn't like vocal music at all, so I have to adapt. It's important for both of us to compromise in order to reach common ground. It works well for us.

I'm afraid I'm a bit obsolete when it comes to finding a girlfriend, the methods must have changed a bit in the last decades...


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## Chilham (Jun 18, 2020)

My wife only loves Mozart. Everything else is described as, "Not my cup of tea".

My wife and I first found common ground with a mutual appreciation for Bob Dylan, and a mutual allergy to C&W. We have our own individual likes and dislikes, she loves jazz and Radiohead, but our shared appreciation of many bands and styles of music has been an important part of our relationship.


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

Only common ground is with pop oldies.

She listens to this V-pop for older generations, and the vocalizations on the slower songs (usually Latin style) make me want to break something.


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## Kreisler jr (Apr 21, 2021)

Not myself but I can think of several couples in my acquaintance who met in student/amateur orchestras or choirs. 
If music is an important part of your life, I think the partners should at least be fond enough of the others favorite music to not be annoyed when it is played at home and it not be a chore to accompany the other to a concert/opera. Otherwise it might be a bit of a strain on the relationship.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

My wife is more into literature than music. She'll listen to what I'm playing, but it's not really her passion. 

Back when CDs first came out, my wife bought me a CD player for my birthday. Then for Christmas she bought me headphones. I got the idea. 

Personally, I think it's healthy for two married people to have some separate interests so both can still learn from each other. As Kahlil Gabran said, "Let there be spaces in your togetherness."


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## KevinJS (Sep 24, 2021)

My wife doesn't show much interest. I took her to see the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra doing Beethoven's 9th and she tagged along when I took her mother to see the same orchestra doing her favourite piece of music (Elgar - Variations on an original theme). 

We have also seen Rush, Yanni, Sarah Brightman and Chris de Burgh together. Those concerts seemed much more to her liking.

We attended one opera (Turandot) and would probably do that again. We also attended the Nutcracker and, after having my ears blasted by dozens of screaming kids, I can safely state that the money doesn't exist that would persuade me to try that again. Who thought that 2 and 3 year olds would sit still and shut up for a performance of that length?


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## JackRance (Sep 13, 2021)

A small list of classical music couples:

Barenboim - du Prè
Argerich - Dutoit
Freni - Ghiaurov
Nagano - Kodama
Mutter - Previn
Britten - Pears


Maybe someone can add others...


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

My wife loves music, but more on the pop/rock side, where we share a lot of preferences. She is also keen on mandarin pop oldies, and I have learned to like many of these as well. On the classical side, she likes some things (like the Bach cello suites and the romantic violin concertos), but some others not (like Mahler and Wagner).


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## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

My wife and I met and fell in love while in college; had nothing to do with music of any type. She does not share my love of classical music but is a good sport coming with me to concerts. Frankly, I think that restricting onself to partners who also love the same music is limiting and reduces the field. Many things are more important than being musically in sync - ethics, respect for people from all walks of life, sense of humor, parental regimens, sexual preferences, etc.


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## SONNET CLV (May 31, 2014)

Fortunately, one can love a person whose musical "tastes" run perfectly counter to one's own. (And love one for whom it is not even important to have a quality sound system by which to render the "music" of that particular taste!)


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## mbhaub (Dec 2, 2016)

Nope. My wife is a oldies, C/W fan. George Strait and Clay Walker are favorites. She doesn't object or despise classical, but it's not her thing and that's ok. She does draw the line when it comes to opera. But it's funny, I'll have something like Turandot on and she probably can't stand it or hear what I like about it and then that one famous aria (Nessun Dorma) comes on and she's all over it and wants to know what it is. I explain it's part of this opera you've been gritting your teeth over. Doens't happen when I have Wozzeck or The Rakes Progress on.


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## bfBrian (Aug 12, 2018)

My wife came to one classical music concert with me and she fell asleep. I started going alone so as not to waste money and a seat. She likes music and plays piano, she just doesn't like listening to classical. Lately I started bringing my daughter to the concerts. She doesn't listen to classical on her own, but enjoys the concerts.


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## Vasks (Dec 9, 2013)

Bulldog said:


> My wife ... does not share my love of classical music but is a good sport coming with me to concerts.


That's me, but imagine her having to deal with me being a composer in addition. Yet again, most of the time, a good sport.

I also find in interesting that several of the posters mentioned their wives not tolerating vocal/opera. That's true for me.


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## Merl (Jul 28, 2016)

No, my wife doesn't like classical. She can bear a short (few minutes) blast of a few well-known quartets but her words to me when I went to see a SQ last week were "Well you're on your own. I'd be bored to death listening to that". We do share a love of some old rock music so that gets played in the car when she's a passenger. Occasionally I might play a bit of a Beethoven SQ in the car if the trip is less than 5mins but she starts fidgeting uncomfortably after that.


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

Fortunately, my wife is a music lover and open minded so she'll pretty much listen to anything from Donizetti to Xenakis. We usually listen to classical or acoustic jazz in the house, and rock and jazz/rock in the car. That said, she's not quite as obsessed with music as I am. I'm a hopeless junkie with no interest in TV, but when my wife has had enough she'll go upstairs and watch her favorite shows. I guess you could say music brought us together in an unusual way. She was married to a tape trading friend of mine who lived in Oregon. He passed away in 2015 after a long illness and we kept in touch after that and got together two years later.


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## mmsbls (Mar 6, 2011)

My wife and I met in college unrelated to music of any kind. She is a violinist and likely the reason I now love classical music. Shortly after we moved in together, she was practicing Tchaikovsky, and a bit later I heard Oliveira play the Tchaikovsky with my wife's symphony. It was one of the most captivating moments of my life. I was so engaged that the concerto seemed to last only a couple of minutes.


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## KevinW (Nov 21, 2021)

Vasks said:


> That's me, but imagine her having to deal with me being a composer in addition. Yet again, most of the time, a good sport.
> 
> I also find in interesting that several of the posters mentioned their wives not tolerating vocal/opera. That's true for me.


Actually I do not get on well with opera/vocals as well. I do not know why, but I just prefer fully instrumental performances.


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## wkasimer (Jun 5, 2017)

My wife likes music, but her tastes in classical aren't quite as varied as mine. She played in a concert band in high school, so she loves pieces that she played back then (e.g. Holst and Elgar's Enigma Variations). She loves Bach, and is fine with Classical era music. She has limited tolerance for the Romantic era, doesn't generally like opera, and absolutely loathes Britten. So at home, I mostly play what she likes to keep the peace, and save other stuff for the office, where I have a decent audio system, or put on headphones.


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## Kreisler jr (Apr 21, 2021)

mbhaub said:


> Nope. My wife is a oldies, C/W fan. George Strait and Clay Walker are favorites. She doesn't object or despise classical, but it's not her thing and that's ok.


So do you need a soundproof basement to practice bassoon or not? 

(I'd fully understand someone liking classical but not listening hours of practicing any instrument)


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## VoiceFromTheEther (Aug 6, 2021)

depends on the night


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## BrandonLG (Dec 11, 2021)

No. Sadly she hates Classical music.


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## Alinde (Feb 8, 2020)

Brahms and Monteverdi were his great passions - in fact he died at home listening to "Orfeo".


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## Judas Priest Fan (Apr 27, 2018)

My wife generally hates Classical. There are a few, select pieces that she likes, though.


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## BachIsBest (Feb 17, 2018)

KevinW said:


> Actually I do not get on well with opera/vocals as well. I do not know why, but I just prefer fully instrumental performances.


I used to feel this way too, but then I started to listen to older recordings of vocal music. Generally speaking, singers now have wider more pronounced vibrato that is rather unattractive (if you go to the opera forum you'll find pages and pages of threads complaining about how modern classical vocalists aren't very good). The gap between how pop and classical singers sing has become more and more pronounced; this is partly because pop singers have moved away from classical technique since, with microphones, you can be heard without it, but it is also because classical singers increasingly sing in a somewhat "artificial", or "forced" manner. For example, try this recording from Di Stefano (most famous in the 50s). You'll probably find the style much more natural.






Anyhow, I don't have a partner, so I'm not even sure why I'm on this thread and will derail it no further.


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## MarkW (Feb 16, 2015)

No. My wife knew when we got together that I was a CM person, but really is ambivalent and goes to concerts only as a social occasion. I do most of my listening when she's out. At odd times there'll be a piece she'll listen to.


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## Phredd (Jul 7, 2020)

I'm not sure I could have married someone who was not highly tolerant (at a minimum) of classical music. It's part of my fiber, and I make reference to music in general, and classical music in particular, all the time. Even then, our tastes are quite different. She is a respectable amateur pianist, and loves piano both solo and as accompaniment or as an orchestral partner. She also loves the older classical forms - starting with Bach, but including the likes of Mozart, Haydn, and early Beethoven. I'm an amateur timpanist/percussionist, and my tastes run - as one might expect - more to the Romantic era (late Beethoven) and later, when compositional styles incorporated more for me to do. We're both open to the genres the other loves, though, and we have taught each other a lot.

Fortunately, we have a lot more in common that just the music. What can I say? I got lucky, and I still count my blessings some 35 years later.


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## FrankinUsa (Aug 3, 2021)

I don’t have a partner so I can’t answer.


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## KevinW (Nov 21, 2021)

FrankinUsa said:


> I don't have a partner so I can't answer.


Lol, same! :lol:


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## Sondersdorf (Aug 5, 2020)

mmsbls said:


> I heard Oliveira play the Tchaikovsky with my wife's symphony. It was one of the most captivating moments of my life. I was so engaged that the concerto seemed to last only a couple of minutes.


Not to change the subject, but I heard Elmar Oliveira playing the Mendelssohn Octet years ago and had the same reaction. I have always been surprised that he does not seem to receive the amount of attention he deserves.

My classical music relationship with my wife is complicated, more deserving of a book than a blog post. I'd tell the Original Poster that common interest in classical music is not a requirement or even a great path to finding a partner. There have been earlier posters who have emphasized the important common qualities and I agree.


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## Helgi (Dec 27, 2019)

Nope, not at all. It's either nails to a chalkboard or too depressing.


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## ObsoleteUtopia (Nov 8, 2020)

I married a metalhead! And she's not interested in the more ambitious (or pretentious) dark or Goth metal - it's Def Leppard and guys like that.

Classical music tends to make her nervous or depressed. I gave her a Chopin disc to listen to once and she brought it back in five minutes with a request to never do that again. Maybe Chopin wasn't the wisest choice for someone who's prone to spells of depression, huh? But she listened to some Renaissance lute music one day during physical therapy and liked that, so I found some more of that type here and there and she's becoming something of an aficionado.


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## SanAntone (May 10, 2020)

ObsoleteUtopia said:


> I married a metalhead! And she's not interested in the more ambitious (or pretentious) dark or Goth metal - it's Def Leppard and guys like that.
> 
> Classical music tends to make her nervous or depressed. I gave her a Chopin disc to listen to once and she brought it back in five minutes with a request to never do that again. Maybe Chopin wasn't the wisest choice for someone who's prone to spells of depression, huh? But she listened to some Renaissance lute music one day during physical therapy and liked that, so I found some more of that type here and there and she's becoming something of an aficionado.


What about you? Are you a metal fan, or made any effort to get into the music she likes?


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## thejewk (Sep 13, 2020)

No, my wife isn't interested greatly in classical music, she is more into indie and pop music, a lot of which I enjoy as well. It's not a problem, and there is a lot of music I really love that doesn't float her boat, especially jazz and the noisier and more experimental stuff I like, and vice versa.


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## Guest (Dec 18, 2021)

JackRance said:


> A small list of classical music couples:
> 
> Barenboim - du Prè
> Argerich - Dutoit
> ...


Argerich- Dutoit, Kovacevich, Freire ?
Netrebko - Eyvazov
Rattle - Kozena
Nelsons - Opolais
Hickox - Stephen (both deceased)
Popp - Fischer (both deceased)


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## ObsoleteUtopia (Nov 8, 2020)

SanAntone said:


> What about you? Are you a metal fan, or made any effort to get into the music she likes?


Oh yeah. Sitting around and saying "What a load of crap!" is not the best way to maintain a successful marriage  . I've never been a metal fan, but I've at least gotten to recognize that a lot of the headbangers are professionals and very good at what they do. I'm fine with that. If listening to Judas Priest for 20 minutes while I'm cooking the linguini is the worst thing that happens all day, I'm not complaining!


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## HerbertNorman (Jan 9, 2020)

No she is not , but she has made an effort and she 's went to a fair few concerts with me and enjoyed them. I have a rather broad musical taste so I've been to some of her favourites aswell tbh.


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## Coach G (Apr 22, 2020)

JackRance said:


> A small list of classical music couples:
> 
> Barenboim - du Prè
> Argerich - Dutoit
> ...


Sam Barber & Gian-Carlo Menotti (composed _Vanessa_ together)

Mstislav Rostropovich & Galina Vishnevskaya (Though Rostropovich was, arguably, the greatest cellist of his times, he and his wife recorded Shostakovich, _Symphony #14_ and _Lady MacBeth of Mdsesk_ together as conductor & vocalist; Rachmaninoff as pianist & vocalist)

Robert & Clara Schumann (I'm sure that Robert & Clara would have collaborated on recordings had the technology been invented)


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