# Stupid Thread Ideas



## millionrainbows

See what ridiculous thread ideas you can come up with! Here are some...

"Wagner: Did He Kill Natalie Wood?"

"Why Doesn't My Grandmother like John Cage's Music?"

"Beethoven, Anger Management, and the Ethics of Stalking"

"Schoenberg's 12-Tone Method Didn't really Exist, It Was All Tonal"

"Were George and Ira Gershwin Anti-Semites?"

"Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Morton Feldman's Music"

"Webern at Beyreuth"


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## Taggart

Josquin didn't parody - it was all his own work.

Polyrhythms are for parrots.


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## Blancrocher

"What was Scriabin's favorite color?"

"Was Gesualdo framed? 

A Poll: "Harold C. Schonberg VS Arnold Schoenberg"


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## millionrainbows

"My Favorite Toscannini Blow-Ups"

"I Threw Up In Daniel Barenboim's Lap"

"Paganini: Was he a Satanist?"

"Schoenberg's Secret Chicken Soup Recipe"

"Summer Grilling Extravaganza: Dvorak's Meat-Cutting Tips"


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## Antiquarian

"Classical Music and Wine Pairings"

"Brahms aversion to Opera composition- psycological or environmental?"

"Biber - Justin or Heinrich Ignaz Franz von?"

"Singing in the shower - Schubert's songs or Brahms?"

"Like Michael Nyman - Am I Normal?"

"Does green ink on the back of CD's actually make them sound better?"

(Actually, now that I've posted these, a couple do sound promising...)


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## violadude

Would Schumann, Brahms and Clara have made it into "People Magazine"?


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## Haydn man

If Beethoven were alive today would he use an iPhone?
If Haydn is the father of the symphony,who was the mother?


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## hpowders

Inquiring minds demand to know!!!


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## TurnaboutVox

Composers' breakfasts: was Schoenberg really a cerealist?

Would Beethoven have been proud of the German football team tonight?

Actually didn't someone do the classical music and wine pairing one?


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## Antiquarian

POLL : "Montovani vs. Montiverdi"

"My pets favourite composer/works?"

"I want to scare my neighbors: any classical music reccomendations?"

"Hottest Chicks In Classical -NSFW"

POLL:"Liberace or Horowitz"

"My Rottweiler - an aspiring coloratura mezzo-contralto"

(My apologies if any of these, or any of my previous entries have inadvertantly copied actual existing threads...)


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## SimonNZ

"Charlatan non-music Noise, and the fringe minority elitists who force it on us"


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## Morimur

The most hated man/woman in TC. :angel:


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## SimonNZ

"Which album of Sousa marches sets the best mood for love-making?"


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## SimonNZ

"The unfiltered, uncencored, unmoderated, ToS-exempt no holds barred character-assasination thread"

"What Would Jesus Listen To?"


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## Weston

Your top 10 desert island bagpipe concerti.


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## hpowders

I think we have quite a representative sampling from day to day already. This thread therefore is simply superflous.


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## SONNET CLV

POLL: If Beethoven had written a tenth symphony, would it be greater than the other nine?

If the world ended tomorrow, whose music would last longest? Bach's, Mozart's, or Beethoven's?

What would Wotan think of Wagner's _Ring_?

If you play a 33rmp record of John Cage's 4'33" at 45rmp, will you hear the same thing only at a higher pitch? And does the work then become 3'22"?

What sounds better: white noise, or playing all of Bach's Cantatas simultaneously?

If Verdi had not written for voices in his operas, how would you sing them?

What names would you have given to J.S. Bach's 22 children? And why?

If music plays in a forest and there's no one there to hear it, do the trees hear it?

POLL: Who would make a better Brünnhilde? Barbra Streisand, Billie Holiday, or Pink?

Composers' laughs. (Inspired by Mozart's laugh in _Amadeus_)

Are there any compositions written as quietly as _pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp_, and if so, are they worth hearing?

Can anyone recommend good pieces written in the treble clef?

What does Ravel's _Concerto for the Left Hand Alone _sound like when played with the right hand alone?


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## SONNET CLV

What is the best recording Sviatoslav Richter never made?

Why do piano keys all look alike but play different sounding notes?

Can a non-American write American music?

If a monkey had a human brain, would it be able to appreciate atonal music?

If Beethoven didn't die, would he still be alive today?

What is your favorite opera in which a fat lady doesn't sing?

Would Sibelius have written _Finlandia_ if he had been born in, say, Argentina instead of Finland?

List your ten favorite four movement symphonies that don't have four movements.

Who is the best accompanist that Gerald Moore ever recorded with?

How do you tell the difference between a piece conducted with a baton and a piece conducted without a baton?

What is your favorite symphony that ends on an upbeat (or anacrusis)?

If Havergal Brian had lived for another hundred years, would his symphonic output have improved in quality?

Which Beethoven symphony does Jesus like best?


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## brianvds

Which composer would you have sex with?

Did Bach compose all his works by himself?

Liszt only became famous because he was handsome.


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## brianvds

SONNET CLV said:


> What does Ravel's _Concerto for the Left Hand Alone _sound like when played with the right hand alone?


Believe it or not, but I am going to start a thread around this theme...


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## starthrower

Hitler's favorite jazz records.


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## brianvds

Was Stalin secretly in love with Shostakovich?

What did Gandhi think about classical music?

What instrument would Jesus play?

American presidents and classical music.

Can apes learn to play instruments?

What is the minimum number of fingers necessary to play most piano works?

The viol is preferable to the violin.

Recorder concertos of the 19th century.

Can one be a WWF wrestling star and a classical musician?

The history of music as a conspiracy theory.

Should soloists be tested for performance-enhancing drugs?

Are all the thread titles suggested in this thread really stupid?


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## KenOC

Why did Bach use the same notes over and over?


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## KenOC

brianvds said:


> American presidents and classical music.


Jefferson owned several violins and was a fan of chamber music...

http://www.monticello.org/site/research-and-collections/violins


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## brianvds

Longest trill ever used

How much wood would Bach chuck, if Bach could chuck wood?

Composers who went both deaf and blind

Please don't reply to this thread about minimalism

Music as a weapon


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## Badinerie

Beethoven Symphonies, Could he go to 11 ?

Why was Bartok's Banjo Sonata suppressed ?

Worst shoes worn by principal Cellist.

The best musicians fart during a live performance.

Best secret message when you played a Classical LP backwards

Which Brass instrument has the best scrap metal value?

American Orchestras Vs European Orchestras, All in naked wrestling.... who would win?


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## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "The unfiltered, uncencored, unmoderated, ToS-exempt no holds barred character-assasination thread"


 _Mods not excepted...._



SimonNZ said:


> "What Would Jesus Listen To?"


 Sorry, mate, that would get hastily bumped into the religious music thread, such is the inability of some in sorting out contexts


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## PetrB

"The classical music you can talk about and how to talk about it 
~ Guaranteed to get her to capitulate to your every whim!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Polls: Film Score composers
1.) Philip Glass vs. David Porcelijn

2.) Alfred Newman vs. Alfred E. Newman

3.) Alfred E Newman vs. Micheal Nyman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today's Composers:
Piano pieces with a left hand bass part of triads played in arpeggiated triplets
~ _does any piano piece ever really need anything more?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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## PetrB

KenOC said:


> Jefferson owned several violins and was a fan of chamber music...
> 
> http://www.monticello.org/site/research-and-collections/violins


Well, at least _rumored_ to have been more than a little close to the president...


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## Vesteralen

Poll: Are People Who Listen to Classical Music Taller than People Who Listen to Rap?

Poll: Brahms vs Bruckner - Operatic Showdown!

If Rosa Ponselle Had Been Born in 1950, Would She Have Been Linda Ronstadt?


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## brianvds

Would you trade "Fidelio" for a tenth symphony?

Which party would Beethoven vote for?

Vanhal: Forgotten genius

Composer self-portraits: Schoenberg versus the rest of them

Live whales used as instruments: Hovhaness versus the rest

Was Khachaturian a pyromaniac?

Brahmsian harmony: dense enough to collapse into a Black Hole


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## MJongo

brianvds said:


> Would you trade "Fidelio" for a tenth symphony?


That would be an extremely hard choice...


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## BurningDesire

Hans Zimmer: Great Composer, or Greatest Composer?


(I consider this absolutely analogous to Stephen Colbert's "George Bush: Great President, or Greatest President", especially with my choice of composer)


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## 38157

Do People Only Like Varèse Because He Tried to Make Himself Look a Little Bit Like Beethoven on That One Photo?
Is Chopin the Best Composer France Ever Produced?
Stupid Thread Ideas
Who Had Better Facial Hair? Johnny Otis, Frank Zappa, or Conlon Nancarrow?
Why Does John Williams Look So Different When He Plays the Guitar?


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## Cosmos

Which Composer is Sexiest in a Swimsuit? (answer: Stravinsky)
Was Bach really a Romantic composer?
Mozart wrote nothing: all his big works were ghostwritten
Can we all just admit Beethoven sucks d**k
Which works of the Second Viennese School are the best for dancing?


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## BurningDesire

Which Composers do you Ship? (my OTP is StravinskyXSchoenberg!~)


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## PetrB

****** said:


> Why Does John Williams Look So Different When He Plays the Guitar?


:lol:WON:lolER:lol:FUL!


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## Wood

SONNET CLV said:


> POLL: If Beethoven had written a tenth symphony, would it be greater than the other nine?
> 
> If the world ended tomorrow, whose music would last longest? Bach's, Mozart's, or Beethoven's?
> 
> What would Wotan think of Wagner's _Ring_?
> 
> If you play a 33rmp record of John Cage's 4'33" at 45rmp, will you hear the same thing only at a higher pitch? And does the work then become 3'22"?
> 
> What sounds better: white noise, or playing all of Bach's Cantatas simultaneously?
> 
> If Verdi had not written for voices in his operas, how would you sing them?
> 
> What names would you have given to J.S. Bach's 22 children? And why?
> 
> If music plays in a forest and there's no one there to hear it, do the trees hear it?
> 
> POLL: Who would make a better Brünnhilde? Barbra Streisand, Billie Holiday, or Pink?
> 
> Composers' laughs. (Inspired by Mozart's laugh in _Amadeus_)
> 
> Are there any compositions written as quietly as _pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp_, and if so, are they worth hearing?
> 
> Can anyone recommend good pieces written in the treble clef?
> 
> What does Ravel's _Concerto for the Left Hand Alone _sound like when played with the right hand alone?


Well done! Lumbered on post #17!


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## Wood

Freddie Chopin ate my hamster.


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## Kilgore Trout

A lot of these threads would be more satisfying than the actual threads.


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## Kilgore Trout

SONNET CLV said:


> Are there any compositions written as quietly as _pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp_, and if so, are they worth hearing?


Mauricio Kagel did write _Sonant_, which is supposed to be played as pianissimo as possible, and should be barely audible.
During its premiere, people couldn't hear a thing, and started throwing things on the stage.


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## arpeggio

*Bach Cantatas*

Are any of the Bach Cantatas that have been lost better than the ones that survived?


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## millionrainbows

What Do Rap Fans Think of Classical? A Report on my ghetto-blaster tour of South Baltimore

Has Anyone Ever Actually Listened to Morton Feldman's String Quartet No. 2 Without Going To The Bathroom?

Morton Feldman's SQ No. 2 Festival At Beyreuth

Erik Satie: LMAO, LMAO!!

An investigation into pre-digital recordings of 4'33" and their implications


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## Radames

Does atonal music have satanic messages in it if you play the CD backwards?


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## PetrB

Radames said:


> Does atonal music have satanic messages in it if you play the CD backwards?


No! That's J.S. Bach you're thinking of.


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## Guest

Best original composition of John Williams?

Best classical composition of Nobuo Uematsu?


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## Radames

Was Schoenberg the antichrist?


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## Guest

I think violadude's people magazine bit has potential:

"Fashion Tips: Sergei Prokofiev Tells All!"

"Stravinsky Said WHAT About Villa-Lobos?!?!"

"Arnold Schoenberg Talks About The Joys Of Ping-Pong And Fatherhood"

"10 Tips From Clara Schumann For Feeling Sexy Over 40"

"Keeping Up With The Kashkashians"

etc.


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## millionrainbows

Beethoven, The Masons, and the Socialist Conspiracy of Obama

John Cage, the New York/Eastern Religion Gay Conspiracy, and Obama's New "Multicultural America" Agenda

Serialism vs. the Religious Right: God Is Tonal

Was Bartok a Vampire? The Real Story Behind His "Blood Disease"


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## GreenMamba

Compositions whose notes spell out dirty words


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## Kieran

"Tennis Players vs Violinists - who wins?"

"What's your least favourite 3 minute segment in the 5th movement of an 8 movement orchestral work by anybody?"

"Atonal? Or a Tony?"

"If Beethoven was really deaf, how did he hear about Mozart?"

"Can a fast music work last longer than a really, really slow one?"


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## Wood

Has classical music taken the place of religion?


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## SONNET CLV

Did Gypsy Rose Lee ever record Bach's "Air on the G String"?

Which of the "long hair" composers had the longest hair?

If Schoenberg hadn't invented atonality, who would have?

It's claimed that Haydn wrote 104 symphonies. But how many _didn't _he write?

Are the composer names Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji, Einojuhani Rautavaara, and Witold Lutosławski really pronounceable?

If Dracula could suck blood out of any one composer, whom would he pick?

How many different pianos has the Tchaikowsky B minor concerto been played on?

Why do composers always put the coda at the end of the work instead of at the beginning?

If Mozart had lived an additional thirty-five years, what would his final work have been?

Does Mahler's "Titian" Symphony have anything to do with the Renaissance painter?

Did French composer Messiaen gain inspiration from dining on ortolan?

Which of the twelve tones was Webern's favorite?

If Iannis Xenakis had a simpler name, would he have written simpler music?


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## superhorn

Did Wagner's chronic flatulence influence his music ? (It's true - Wagner did suffer from it !) .

Was Beethoven's music actually ghostwritten ?

Was J.S. Bach secretly gay ?

Benjamin Britten's collection of Playboy magazines .


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## Wood

Does classical music anti-Semitism?


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## SimonNZ

superhorn said:


> Was J.S. Bach secretly gay ?


"Was J.S.Bach secretly impotent?"

"Current Listening On Edison Cylinders"


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## TurnaboutVox

Weston said:


> Your top 10 desert island bagpipe concerti.


 - Taggart might be able to enlighten us...

Composers' Breakfasts #2: Did Haydn leave a hidden message for posterity in the title of his 'To(a)st' quartets?

Was Tchaikovsky's 'Pathetique' the first openly 'Gay' symphony ever written?

Poll: Was Charles Ives
a) A plagiarist?
b) A charlatan?
c) A madman?

Is James Last and his Orchestra considered a Classical composer?

If you take the first names of the atonal composers Webern and Berg and put them together, they make 'Anton Alban' which is almost 'atonal ban'. Is this a warning from 'above' and should they have heeded it?


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## Aramis

If Mahler let go already in his 9th, what is he doing in the 10th? 

The first metalhead: Vivaldi or Wagner? 

Is metal music today's classical music?

Why is Pavarotti so famous if he records only covers

Recommend operas without screaming

Is Schoenberg's music good?


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## TurnaboutVox

MQ

I have devised a mathematical formula to measure a composition's 'tunefulness' (Melodic Quotient or M.Q.) All the Classical 'Greats' pass my test with ease and I think Classical music would be much better if all new works had to 'pass' this test (MQ greater than 50 / 100).


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## SONNET CLV

Did Beethoven really write one symphony for every letter in his last name?

Is the cello a large violin, or is the violin a small cello? And how exactly does the viola fit in?

We know that Shakespeare's plays influenced Verdi to write music, but did Verdi's music ever influence Shakespeare to write plays?

I heard that Shoeburt wrote a piece called "Winter Rice". Is that about a grain crop, or what?

How many concertos can a composer write?

What is the name of the dog that barks in Piston's "The Incredible Flutist"?

Who has longer fingers: a violinist or a pianist?

Did Aaron Copland ever ride a bull?

What are your ten favorite works in every key listed alphabetically and chronologically?

How many different editions of Bruckner's symphonies should there be?

Does the size of the conductor's podium affect the sound that comes from the orchestra?

So, do the Russians really have twelve seasons, or was Tchaikovsky just stupid about nonmusical stuff?

I know that Salieri killed Mozart. But who killed Salieri?


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## SONNET CLV

So, what _is _Ralph Vaughan Williams last name? Williams? or Vaughan?

Did the Soviet government force Shostakovich to write the same number of symphonies as string quartets? Or did he do that on his own?

How can you tell the Pomp from the Circumstance in Elgar's famous Marches?

What made Allegri so miserable that he wrote the _Miserere_? Did it have anything to do with his wife?

If a castrato singer has children, will they have high voices, too?

Where do I have to go to see the fountains Respighi wrote about in "The Fountains of Rome"?

If Grieg hadn't written his Piano Concerto in the key of A minor, what key _would_ he have written it in?

How come when they do the _Nutcracker Ballet _there's always a Christmas tree on the set? But you never see an almond tree, or a walnut tree.

What is your favorite "key", and if it didn't exist, what would you do?

If a deaf person has perfect pitch, is he able to tell one tone from another even though he can't hear them?

Why does Glenn Gould always ruin his singing by playing the piano so loud?

Did Handel really write three Water Music suites so that he could have one for each bathroom in his house?

If Beethoven and Mozart had a gunfight like in the movie _High Noon_, who would win?


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## mikey

Antiquarian said:


> "Classical Music and Wine Pairings"


Hey I had to do a concert of that! Dam hard trying to find something relative to South African wine!


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## Guest

What is your favorite Beethoven song? Mine is the 5th Symphony.


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## Guest

Whose organ was bigger--Bach's or Buxtehude's?


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## arpeggio

*I love this thread*

*ILOVE THIS THREAD*

I am jealous of everyone here. I could only come up with one. 

Edit: I may have jinxed this thread and spoke to soon. There will always be a few who take things to seriously.


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## Donata

The best operas to watch with cats?

Bassoon or oboe: the best instrument for self-defense? 

What opera would make the best video game? 

Best composer hairstyles? 

Which composer would make the best Facebook friend?


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## musicrom

Was Borodin a better chemist than Herschel was a composer?
Who looks more like Albert Einstein, Mark Twain or Edvard Grieg?
Why did Shostakovich look so much like Harry Potter?
Stupid Thread Ideas (just kidding!)
Did Beet-hoven eat beets as a child? Was Moz-art an artist?
Is _Hungarian Dances_ a Hungarian piece, or a German one?
Which composer has the coolest initials?


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## Guest

Why is Ralph pronounced Raiff, as in Ralph Vaughn Williams?

Why does classical music have so many notes?


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## KenOC

For that matter, who had more excess notes, Mozart or Brahms? This one's serious...


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## SimonNZ

"Test here for possible oversights of the TC naughty word filter"

"The three B+s, the three B-s"

"The Soul In Torment as depicted in the waltzes of Johann Strauss"


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## brianvds

Was Xenakis the Greek Grieg?

Would we take Mozart more seriously if he had a beard?

Borodin: A tragic waste of scientific talent on mediocre music

Classical music and alcoholism

Would Fernando Sor have liked the electric guitar?

Why were no truly great composers bald?


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## KenOC

brianvds said:


> Why were no truly great composers bald?


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## SimonNZ

"Can women be great composers if they can't go bald?"

"Why can't I find a sidebar link to Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

"Should rotten fruit be provided at the auditorium door?"

"Which conductors would sell more discs if pictured in speedos?"


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## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> "Test here for possible oversights of the TC naughty word filter"


Hmm... Perhaps not so stupid?


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## brianvds

KenOC said:


>


I just KNEW someone was going to drag Sibelius into it. But keep in mind that by this time he had basically stopped composing. 

Anyway, this is a thread for stupid thread titles, and what makes my suggested title deeply stupid is the amount of debate it will induce on the question of what we mean by "truly great composer."


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## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> "Should rotten fruit be provided at the auditorium door?"


I have long had this idea for a postmodern composition in which performers on stage are pelted with rotten fruit by other performers situated in the audience. I.e. the fruit throwing is part of the composition, but the exact nature of the fruit and when they start throwing and so on can be determined aleatorically.


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## StevenOBrien

What is your favorite note?


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## SONNET CLV

KenOC said:


>


Are you sure that's not Swedish actor Tor Johnson _playing_ Sibelius?









Tor Johnson is famously known from Ed Wood's classic films _Bride of the Monster _ (in which he played Lobo) and _Plan 9 from Outer Space _ (in which he played Inspector Dan Clay).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tor_Johnson


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## brianvds

SONNET CLV said:


> Tor Johnson is famously known from Ed Wood's classic films _Bride of the Monster _ (in which he played Lobo) and _Plan 9 from Outer Space _ (in which he played Inspector Dan Clay).
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tor_Johnson


I became a huge fan of Wood after watching the film "Ed Wood" with Johnnie Depp as the luckless (and clueless) director.


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## brianvds

Was Tor Johnson a closet composer?


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## Guest

In keeping with the spirit of things 'round these parts:

"Music That Goes Beyond Strict Use Of The C Major Scale: The Devil's Music Or Just Aimless Cacophony?"


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## brianvds

arcaneholocaust said:


> In keeping with the spirit of things 'round these parts:
> 
> "Music That Goes Beyond Strict Use Of The C Major Scale: The Devil's Music Or Just Aimless Cacophony?"


Schoenberg's music is in C major. But with lots of accidentals.


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## brianvds

Photoshop a mustache on your favourite composer (or remove it if he already has one)

What is best: lute or guitar?

What was Bach's favourite fruit?

"The Witches of Eastwick": best use of classical music in a movie


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## senza sordino

Battle of the Bands / performers / composers

Andre Rieu vs Jasha Heifetz
Richard Clayderman vs Vladamir Horowitz
Jimi Hendrix vs Andre Segovia
Freddie Mercury vs Enrico Caruso
Led Zeppelin vs Ludwig Van Beethoven 
The Beatles vs Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart


Composer Love Children
If LvB and Mozart were to have a child, it would be most like?
If Wagner and Debussy were to have a child, it would be most like?


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## SONNET CLV

Would Paganini's violin music be less demonic if he had not been possessed by Satan?

If Swiss composer Arthur Honneger had had more confidence in his Symphony No. 5 (_Di tre re_), would he have ended each of the three movements with the kettledrum beating an "A" or a "B" rather than a "D"?

Is Neeme Järvi secretly a member of Mötley Crüe?

If I'm a big fan of Beethoven, should I give my kid the middle name "van"?

Why did Antonio Vivaldi write the same concerto 500 times when he could have written it just once?

Why did Bach rewrite Vivaldi's concerto when Vivaldi already wrote it 500 times?

On a scale of 1 to 10 ... what key is most used in classical music?

Was César Franck related to Julius Caesar?

Is there any way to distinguish Carl Nielsen's Symphony No. 4 "The Inextinguishable", Op. 29 from his other symphonies? If so, how?

Why do string quartets always have four players?

Can Benjamin Britten's opera "Billy Budd" ever end if there's no fat lady in it to sing?

Did Beethoven really write his Ninth Symphony so that it could fit on a single CD?

Can the Lone Ranger sue Rossini for using his theme song in the _William Tell _Overture?


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## musicrom

I really want to start some of these threads just to see what happens!


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## Guest

brianvds said:


> Schoenberg's music is in C major. But with lots of accidentals.


I suppose that's what I was trying to exclude with "strict use" (no dissonance at all, Ye Worshippers Of Satan!)


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## brianvds

musicrom said:


> I really want to start some of these threads just to see what happens!


I am very tempted myself. MillionRainbows has created a monster.

More suggestions:

Make up a boy band with classical composers (and give it a name)

Which composer had the best beard?

Why are so many stupid thread titles in the form of a question?

Wagner was secretly in love with Tchaikovsky

Notation software makes composers lazy

Why do tone painting if you could just use paint?

Can color blind people perceive tone colors?


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## Donata

Should twerking be allowed at symphonies? 

Which conductor would be the best baton duelist? 

What note is your favorite color? 

Did Chopin prefer boxers or briefs?


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## SimonNZ

"Cure Depression With Mahler"

"Leitmotifs of windblown hair and designer stubble in the music of Eric Whitacre""


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## Jobis

Wagner: wet or dry shave?


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## PetrB

Wood said:


> Freddie Chopin ate my hamster.


That's nothing... you should hear what they are saying Tchaikovsky did with a gerbil!


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## PetrB

Wood said:


> Has classical music taken the place of religion?


Already noticed from the 1970's and onward:
a shift from people's attraction to and corporate support of religious and social / humanitarian causes toward, instead, the arts.


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## PetrB

Poll: Coffee ~ (Choose one)
I like it: 
A.) Black
B.) Ruined

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did composers; Tchaikovsky / Benjamin Britten / Aaron Copland / Ned Rorem / Jean Barraqué
ever have any children, and if so, are any of those descendents or their descendents' descendents _artistic?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Classical music, total meaningless garbage: 
_How can people find anything interesting about music without lyrics or music that tells no story?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is Hindemith's music sometimes called "Music by the yard" because he came from a family of textiles merchants?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is the meaning of name of piece by name of composer?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Name / Rate / Rank / Choose -- 
_your top; three / five / ten_ 
of these; Concerti / Symphonies / Composers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Which composer was the bigger bundle of laughs;
1.) Chopin
2.) Bruckner
2.) Rachmaninov


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## brianvds

Would Beethoven have joined this message board?

Which composers liked cats?

Composers and breakfast cereals

Who was the fattest composer? And the skinniest?

Which composer would win "America's got talent"? 

Would Mozart have liked "Amadeus"? 

If Fidelio was a movie, would Beethoven have been willing to compose the soundtrack music?

Who was the best boy soprano: Bach or Haydn?


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## PetrB

mikey said:


> Hey I had to do a concert of that! Dam hard trying to find something relative to South African wine!


For next time: Kevin Volans, Walking music, Concerto for piano and wind orchestra, a few others


----------



## PetrB

arpeggio said:


> *ILOVE THIS THREAD*
> 
> I am jealous of everyone here. I could only come up with one.
> 
> Edit: I may have jinxed this thread and spoke to soon. There will always be a few who take things to seriously.


I agree -- one of the quickest and easiest threads to rate ***** in a long time!


----------



## SONNET CLV

Do you think Brahms fell asleep while composing his Lullaby?

Is it true that Gustav Holst was abducted by aliens and taken for a ride on a spaceship?

Does the famous theme of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony consist of four notes or two?

Do you think John Cage liked to listen to his own music, or is that why he wrote 4'33"?

Stravinsky composed the "Rite of Spring" but did anybody ever write the "Left of Spring"?

If you would get struck by lightning while listening to the fourth movement of Beethoven's Sixth Symphony, would that add a significant jolt to your listening experience? Or would it be a distraction?

How come a piano has 88 keys but people only have 10 fingers?

Do the minimalists realize that there are more than just one key, chord, melody, and harmony available to modern day composers?

If fauns sit around all afternoon playing the flute, what do they do in the morning and night times?

Is rock-n-roll merely classical music with all the classical parts taken out?

Do you think that maybe Bach wrote all those Cantatas because he was trying to get one right?

What is the best key to play music in?

Is a box set of "Complete Symphonies of Franz Schubert" an oxymoron?


----------



## PetrB

Kontrapunctus said:


> Why is Ralph pronounced Raiff, as in Ralph Vaughn Williams?


Same reason that Ralph Fiennes is pronounced Raiff Fines -- because the English, being an island people, are insane due to a millennium of inbreeding.


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> I just KNEW someone was going to drag Sibelius into it. But keep in mind that by this time he had basically stopped composing.


_Dohhh!_ ~ He stopped composing because he had lost that power when he lost his hair. ~ _Dohhh!_


----------



## violadude

No emotions: Could serial killers and serial composers have something in common?


----------



## Badinerie

PetrB said:


> _Dohhh!_ ~ He stopped composing because he had lost that power when he lost his hair. ~ _Dohhh!_


Because he found another career...


----------



## Guest

Did Beethoven write any other symphonies besides the 5th? (I actually had a customer ask me that when I worked for Tower Records about 30 years ago!)


----------



## SimonNZ

_They were, at least, one notch up from the person who asks "Who wrote Beethoven's Fifth?"_


----------



## ArtMusic

Did Noise Become Music Or Did Music become Noise?


----------



## violadude

ArtMusic said:


> Did Noise Become Music Or Did Music become Noise?


I'm glad you have accepted that this is a stupid topic.


----------



## Tristan

"Your Favorite 94th Symphony"

"The Glass Harmonica Thread"

"Best Schubert Concerto?"

"Top 100 Symphonies in D-flat major"


----------



## 38157

Why was a sculpture of Berg constructed in the middle of the ocean? And how did it sink the Titanic?


----------



## PetrB

****** said:


> Why was a sculpture of Berg constructed in the middle of the ocean? And how did it sink the Titanic?


Prizewinner! .................


----------



## violadude

****** said:


> Why was a sculpture of Berg constructed in the middle of the ocean? And how did it sink the Titanic?


It took me far too long to get this one...


----------



## ArtMusic

Did Atonal Loose Some Tone?


----------



## Jobis

'Music' after monody : Did harmony ruin music?


----------



## PetrB

violadude said:


> No emotions: Could serial killers and serial composers have something in common?


Beethoven was a heavy-duty sociopath, but at the worst, he murdered some fugal writing (and t'warn't pretty, I tell ya -- I mean, the dude hisself even titled the thing "Gross.")


----------



## Kilgore Trout

brianvds said:


> Why were no truly great composers bald?


What about him :








Maybe that is the reason Schoenberg is so disliked around here : he was bold, so he can't be a truly great composer.

That being said, you might argue that he did have some hair, so maybe he was a half-bald half-great composer.


----------



## brianvds

Where did Beethoven buy his office supplies?

Did Bach own a dog?

If Germany produced Bach and Brahms, why didn't Britain produce Creek and Broom?

Name your favourite Somali Baroque composers

Justin Bieber and classical music

Would stricter gun control legislation have prevented the unfortunate incident with Karl?


----------



## Aramis

http://www.talkclassical.com/6344-composers-moustache-ranking.html


----------



## PetrB

ArtMusic said:


> Did Atonal Loose Some Tone?


Wrong! Atonal is music which uses any and all pitches e_xcept_ *A.* 
It is unodecaphonic music


----------



## TresPicos

Weber vs Schoenberg vs Berg

Your top 10000 string quartets

Is vocal music the only genre that makes us human?

Poll: Favorite stupid thread ideas thread

Worst work in a genre you hate by a composer you hate performed by musicians you hate

Is Sibelius the Finnish Grieg or Grieg the Norwegian Sibelius?

Composer names that sound like fruit 
_[I go first: Reinecke/pineapple]_

Keeping animals out of classical music - will we regret it?

Poll: Best religion

How to get into atonal music without a key

New posts thread 
_[For simplicity, post all your new TC posts in this thread, and then the moderators will move those posts to the correct threads]_

Minimalism in music and sports


----------



## PetrB

Is Richard Strauss' _Ein Held en leben_ about an Islamic terrorist?


----------



## stevens

"Why had Mozart no arms? I have seen that at a statue" 

I´ve often heard these:

"Who is the greatest composer in the world?"

"Who is the best pianist in the world"

"What piano piece is the hardest in the world"

"What shall I listen to next"?

"Is La campanella a hard piece to learn?"

"Is the fastest classical piano piece faster than the fastest jazz piano piece?"

"Who can play fastest?"


----------



## Vesteralen

What kind of headphones work best in the bathtub?

Greatest Hits of 1695

Poll: Do you like kielbasa and sauerkraut with your pierogies?

How many warts do you have? Where are they?

Pick a toupee for your favorite bald composer


----------



## SONNET CLV

Bum rap. Mozart's 37th Symphony. How come nobody ever talks about it. It's my favorite Mozart symphony.

If Dvorak's Ninth Symphony is "From the New World", are the other eight "From the Old World" or "To the New World"?

Why doesn't anyone call Schubert's Seventh Symphony "The Unfinished"?

If you know about that loud chord, is the surprise in Haydn's "Surprise Symphony" still a surprise?

Who plays Haydn's "Farewell" Symphony when all the musicians have left the stage?

What's your favorite Symphony by Bach?

Did any American composers write a symphony, or are all symphonies by Germans?

How come Shostakovich wrote 15 symphonies? Isn't there a rule or something that says you're only allowed to write nine? Was it because he was a Communist?

Is Beethoven's Fifth called a "sympathy" because it's sad about someone?

How does a composer know when to write music for a certain instrument to play in a symphony?

What would happen if a fly buzzed around a conductor and he tried to swat it away while he was conducting a symphony? Would the musicians change the music?

How many symphonies do you think are better than the Beatles' music? 

What's the best symphony for a line dance?


----------



## arpeggio

What is more boring? Listening to _4'33"_ or watching a soccer match end in a 0-0 tie?


----------



## SONNET CLV

arpeggio said:


> What is more boring? Listening to _4'33"_ or watching a soccer match end in a 0-0 tie?


What is more boring? Watching a soccer match for 4 minutes and 33 seconds, or watching a soccer match end in a 0-0 tie? Or is that itself a tie?


----------



## Jobis

arpeggio said:


> What is more boring? Listening to _4'33"_ or watching a soccer match end in a 0-0 tie?


More like

'Which is more boring; listening to 4'33" or posting in a thread about it?' :lol:


----------



## Wood

To PetrB:

Hey Dude, Gimmee six!


----------



## PetrB

arpeggio said:


> Are any of the Bach Cantatas that have been lost better than the ones that survived?


Oh, yessssss. Most of those which are still lost sound much better to me than the ones we have


----------



## millionrainbows

Serial Music: Continued Next Week

How Gregorian Chant Came From Jewish Chant, How That Was Influenced By Spanish And Moorish Music, How That Is Derived From Indian Music, And How Everything Is Just One Big Drone If You Trace It Back Far Enough

Man and His Cymbals: Saint-Saens' Organ Symphony

Article: Wagner's Ring Praised for Providing Employment for Dwarfs

Were Wagner's Parents Dwarfs?

Dwarfs in Classical Music

Favorite Works Composed by Dwarfs

Favorite Dwarf Double-Bass Players


----------



## Morimur

POLL: Death Match - hpowders vs. PetrB

Rules: No eye poking. Kicks and punches to the crotch are encouraged. Hair pulling is looked down upon but tolerated.

Who wins??


----------



## SONNET CLV

millionrainbows said:


> Serial Music: Continued Next Week
> 
> How Gregorian Chant Came From Jewish Chant, How That Was Influenced By Spanish And Moorish Music, How That Is Derived From Indian Music, And How Everything Is Just One Big Drone If You Trace It Back Far Enough
> 
> Man and His Cymbals: Saint-Saens' Organ Symphony
> 
> Article: Wagner's Ring Praised for Providing Employment for Dwarfs
> 
> Were Wagner's Parents Dwarfs?
> 
> Dwarfs in Classical Music
> 
> Favorite Works Composed by Dwarfs
> 
> Favorite Dwarf Double-Bass Players


A "Like" from me, solely on the strength of that first item.


----------



## millionrainbows

SONNET CLV said:


> A "Like" from me, solely on the strength of that first item.


Oh, come on, Sonnet, let's get into that dwarf thing!


----------



## senza sordino

Which composers would like baked beans?
What software program did composers use before Sibelius?
Favourite holiday destinations of composers
How do blind composers know where to put notes on a musical staff?


----------



## Vesteralen

Do you watch opera DVDs with the sound off?

What's the farthest Frisbee throw you ever made with an LP? What was the label?

Music to cook pork by...

What classical genre do you turn on when you want to annoy your co-workers?

Bruckner's lost opera: *Der Handlungsreisenden und Seine Patentierte Heilmittel für Haarausfall *


----------



## SONNET CLV

senza sordino said:


> What software program did composers use before Sibelius?


You mean, Sibelius was the first to use a software program? Like when he composed _Finlandia_? I didn't know that?


----------



## TresPicos

SONNET CLV said:


> You mean, Sibelius was the first to use a software program? Like when he composed _Finlandia_? I didn't know that?


Of course he was first - why else would they call it Sibelius?


----------



## TresPicos

Your top 10 favorite non-Swedish composers

Thoughts on clapping only every other clap during standing ovations

The difference between Anton and Arthur Rubinstein

Poll: Where in a work do you cough?

Depressing pictures to darken your day

Are you a classical music listener?

Do you change hairdo during concerts, depending on the work played?

If composers were pets, what pets would they be, and what other composers would have them as their pet?

The regardlessness of classical music

Most average-quality work per composer

Poll: Who died the youngest - Mozart or Schubert?

Why opera is a huge waste of time for all parties involved

Which is the most recent composition in classical music, taking all living composers into account?


----------



## brianvds

My comments on this thread thus far: :lol:


----------



## ArtMusic

Did Cage Loose His Hearing When He Wrote 4'33?
Did Beethoven Gain His Hearing When He Wrote The Ninth?


----------



## Blake

ArtMusic said:


> Did Cage Loose His Hearing When He Wrote 4'33?
> Did Beethoven Gain His Hearing When He Wrote The Ninth?


I'm finding it harder and harder to imagine that a real conversation with you would stay interesting for more than 45 seconds.


----------



## dgee

Vesuvius said:


> I'm finding it harder and harder to imagine that a real conversation with you would stay interesting for more than 45 seconds.


Bahaha! Coffee came out my nose! I wasn't even drinking any! :clap:


----------



## Aramis

Recommend top most dark wild powerful depressed tragic furious heavy pieces like moonlight sonata

Recommend songs like Beethoven - Allegro molto

Was Mozart XIXth century Britney Spears?

Modernism, atonality and avant-garde: which of these classical music periods you prefer?


----------



## dgee

Aramis said:


> Recommend top most dark wild powerful depressed tragic furious heavy pieces like moonlight sonata
> 
> Recommend songs like Beethoven - Allegro molto


Pimply teenage nerd questions par excellence!!


----------



## Donata

Ten ways you could kill someone with a viola.

What would Mozart's ringtone be?

Do sopranos watch the Sopranos? What about mezzos?

If opera were performed by cats would it be more popular? 

Diva battles: a good idea or an awesome idea?


----------



## PetrB

Lope de Aguirre said:


> POLL: Death Match - hpowders vs. PetrB
> 
> Rules: No eye poking. Kicks and punches to the crotch are encouraged. Hair pulling is looked down upon but tolerated.
> 
> Who wins??


This is only interesting if there are no rules / no holds barred at all. _Fight Dirty!_ 
(I've always wondered why anyone in a fight would do anything but fight dirty.)


----------



## brianvds

Donata said:


> If opera were performed by cats would it be more popular?


You're telling me they are NOT performed by cats?


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> You're telling me they are NOT performed by cats?


I know! Crazy, huh? I mean, classical or other genres, if they've placed you in a pit they're thinking of you as animals.


----------



## Guest

My friend and I were talking about opera and then the subject quickly turned to some Mario video he wanted to show me. He instinctively typed "mario opera" in the search bar, so we began discussing video games gone opera. Stupid thread? Nah, just foolish dreams


----------



## SONNET CLV

What are the three main reasons why classical music is so boring?

Did Beethoven ever get paid for writing music, or did he just do it for fun?

Composers like Vivaldi (the "Goldfinch"), Beethoven (the Sixth Symphony), and Messiaen (Everything!) wrote out "bird calls", but Respighi included a recording of a bird for his "Pines of Rome". Did Respighi do this because he was lazy, less competent than those other composers, or mistrustful of flute players?

How come there are so many recordings of classical music pieces, like the "Moonlight Sonata" or the "Goldberg Variations"? Can't anybody get them right?

How many fingers does it take to play the average piano piece by Mozart?

If Herbert von Karajan is such a famous conductor, how come nobody ever heard of him?

Do you think aliens would like classical music or rock-and-roll better?

Why does music paper have lines on it?

If you could bubble all of classical music down to a single note, which note would it be?

Which rapper do you think Beethoven would like the most?

If Mozart was so good, why did anybody continue writing music after he died?

How does a conductor make music by waving around his arms?

New Game: Match your favorite food to a piece of music. I'll start. Pizza -- Mahler's Second Symphony.


----------



## PetrB

arcaneholocaust said:


> My friend and I were talking about opera and then the subject quickly turned to some Mario video he wanted to show me. He instinctively typed "mario opera" in the search bar, so we began discussing video games gone opera. Stupid thread? Nah, just foolish dreams


I'm probably not the first to think some film scripts, and a similar visual presentation, would make damned good libretti and engaging productions for new operas. Half the battle is of course an audience willing and wanting to listen to 'that kind of singing' and hear hummable tunes and 'identifiable chords,' but the other half, surely, is some credible and entertaining bit of drama or comedy.


----------



## KenOC

Is Brahms turbid or turgid? Give examples.

What happened to Hans von Bulow's chin?


----------



## PetrB

Is film music classical?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Does mean-tone tuning mean it is not nice?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have these piano songs ready: 
Fur Elise 
Bella's Lullaby
a Chopin Nocturne
the awesome medley from The Legend of Zelda

Can I get in to Juilliard / The Royal College of music? 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


----------



## SimonNZ

"What do you think the Prophet Muhammad looked like? Post sketches here."


----------



## brianvds

Poll:

Bartok last work was:
The sonata for solo violin
Third piano concerto
Viola concerto
Other


Top ten cheerful pieces by Rachmaninov

Was Beethoven born deaf?

Was Mahler a better composer than Van Gogh was a painter?

How come no classical composer dedicated a song to Bill Clinton?


----------



## brianvds

Beethoven needed a better estate agent

Your top 70 symphonies by Hovhaness

Will orchestras perform better if conductors used guns as batons?

Lulu lets out the best blood-curdling screech in all of opera

Would Beethoven have bothered with a cell phone?

Bach should have written more symphonies


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> Lulu lets out the best blood-curdling screech in all of opera


That's not silly; _its the truth!_


----------



## SONNET CLV

Chord progression in Gregorian chant.

What is your favorite Beethoven cello concerto?

Harmonic differentiation in music composed by left handers compared to that of right handers.

Which composer’s name makes the best anagrams?

If Baroque and Classical composers were not Romantic, what kinds of love lives did they have?

Who holds the record for the number of symphonies a person can whistle?

Jews harp virtuosos.

What course in music college do I have to take to learn how to shoot the cannons in Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture”?

Favorite animal in a classical music piece. Mine is the donkey in Grofe’s “Grand Canyon Suite.”

Has anyone ever written a piece for the cello to be played standing up? Did Ravel write a piece for the cello left hand alone?

If a musician makes a mistake while performing a piece of aleatory music, can the audience tell?

What’s the fastest way to practice the piano?

Which musical instruments make players’ eyes pop out of their heads most often?


----------



## brianvds

Do I really have to learn to read notes to become a classical composer?

Which percussion instrument makes the best weapon?

If you were dying of cold, what would you burn first: your sheet music or your instrument?

J.S. Bach: The Liberace of the harpsichord

Your top twenty favourite classical compositions by Paul McCartney


----------



## senza sordino

brianvds said:


> Your top twenty favourite classical compositions by Paul McCartney


I have in my possession, Eleanor Rigby for string quartet. I hope to play it soon.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Your fond memories of primary school recorder class"

"Your fond memories of primary school recorder class - teachers edition"


----------



## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> "Your fond memories of primary school recorder class - teachers edition"


Last year I had to teach a girl how to play "Ode to joy" on a recorder, for a school concert. It was sheer torture.


----------



## PetrB

senza sordino said:


> I have in my possession, Eleanor Rigby for string quartet. I hope to play it soon.


It is still a pop song arrangement for SQ


----------



## ArtMusic

The Day Music Literally Took Flight ...

Any guesses?


----------



## 38157

SONNET CLV said:


> If Baroque and Classical composers were not Romantic, what kinds of love lives did they have?


Me and my friend who is a pianist at my university were having a conversation with a bunch of people. Me, him, and another musician had the conversation take a very brief foray into the topic of Romantic music (I forget why - a result of some joke or something). It was at this point that our non-musician friend took the opportunity to talk about one of his girlfriends, romance and love songs.


----------



## brianvds

How good a chess player was Brahms?

Brahms smoked too much, Beethoven drank too much and Bach you-know-whatted too much.

Beethoven: The B in my bonnet

How many dirty jokes did Rachmaninov know?

Would Schubert have been able to compose without his glasses?

Who could drink the most vodka: Shostakovich or Prokofiev?


----------



## SONNET CLV

SimonNZ said:


> "Your fond memories of primary school recorder class - teachers edition"





brianvds said:


> Last year I had to teach a girl how to play "Ode to joy" on a recorder, for a school concert. *It was sheer torture.*


Come now ... the "Ode to joy" is one of the great musical works. Certainly in no way "_sheer torture_"!


----------



## Dustin

Why are there birds chirping in the background of my classical chamber music album?


----------



## SONNET CLV

If you wanted to hear a great Requiem at your own funeral, which one would you pick?

Which of the four Rachmaninoff concertos do you think the average person will have difficulty playing?

Which church bell recording is a must own?

Favorite funeral home organ masterpiece.

In the spirit of the Low Symphony (Symphony No. 1), what rock song should Philip Glass next turn into a symphony?

Which heavy metal band would you want most to hear playing arrangements of Beethoven’s symphonies?

Let’s discuss composers who are better than Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven.

I heard somebody talking about the composer Schubert’s leader. Who was his leader? God or some king or what? I’m really clueless about this and I want to know.

If the Rolling Stones wrote classical music instead of rock songs, which composer would their music most resemble?

Which famous symphony has a key signature?

What’s the real name of that Anonymous guy who wrote all the Medieval music?

Why did Beethoven write nine symphonies?

I asked my music teacher a question about Mozart and he said why do I want to know about paintings made by one of the Three Stooges. Duh? Can anyone explain what planet this guy lives on?


----------



## Blancrocher

2 polls: 

How do you order your Haydn: Hoboken or Opus? 

What composer had the coolest name: Hugo Wolf or Peter Warlock?


----------



## SONNET CLV

Is Webern the smartest serialist/atonalist because he realized he should keep his compositions short so that they were over before people could walk out of the concert hall in protest?

How many double bass players and their instruments can fit into a phone booth?

I know that the French have a horn and the English have a horn, but what other countries have a horn and what countries don’t have a horn and how does a country that doesn’t have a horn get a horn?

Which of Tchaikovsky’s ballets can people dance to?

What key is Terry Riley’s “In C” in? 

Why is a minor key smaller than a major key if they have the same number of notes?

If Olivier Messiaen had been born deaf and could never have heard bird calls, what kind of music do you think he would have written?

A Riddle: What looks like a symphony, sounds like a symphony, and has four movements like a symphony? -- Give up? Answer: Beethoven’s Fifth. – Comments anyone?

If you had to die an operatic death, which opera and which death would you choose?

Did Arnold Schoenberg write the Rice Krispies theme: snap, crackle, pop? I heard he wrote cereal music.

What was the name of that piece of music the violinist at the restaurant I went to yesterday was playing while we ate our food?

Who is the prettiest female composer/musician?

Who is the ugliest female composer/musician?


----------



## millionrainbows

Famous non-Jewish Jew's harp players

Thematic development in Roman chant

Roman Chant: Sounds Distinctly Oriental, And How That Means All Music Is Traceable Back To The Great Drone

If Beethoven had heard 4'33" _just before_ he went completely deaf, would he think it was La Monte Young because of the ringing in his ears?

Xenakis and Ligeti: Mosquito-Killing Music For Your Next Barbeque

The Three Stooges' Sound Effects and the Birth of Electro-Acoustic Music


----------



## TresPicos

SONNET CLV said:


> I heard somebody talking about the composer Schubert's leader. Who was his leader?


:lol: I just can't stop laughing...


----------



## Aramis

> Who is the prettiest female composer/musician?


Top 10 hot sopranos that can make young generations appreciate opera by displaying nice buns on stage

Can classical music be sexy?


----------



## arpeggio

*Who is the prettiest female composer/musician?*



SONNET CLV said:


> Who is the prettiest female composer/musician?


That's been done: http://www.talkclassical.com/32016-who-prettiest-female-composer.html#post656205


----------



## SONNET CLV

What day of the week is best for listening to classical music?

What is the legal limit on how many symphonies a person can compose?

If you are invisible, can you still play a musical instrument?

Hey guys, I thought you might be able to help me since this is a music forum. I overheard some nerd musician types talking about wrestling with Mawler. Hey, I’m a big fan of WWF and WWE, but I don’t know this Mawler guy. Could somebody there clue me in so I don’t sound like an absolute dork when I’m talking to these nerd types about wrestling? Any other wrestling fans out there?

If you were in a Chinese torture prison and they ran out of water, what is the one piece of classical music you wouldn’t want the Chinese torturers to substitute for the dripping water by playing it over and over again?

How can I enjoy classical music without turning into an obnoxious snoot like so many of the people who post on this Forum?

What is the best post to read on this Forum if I want to learn everything about classical music?

New Game: Choose a geometric shape and relate it to a corresponding symphony. I’ll start with an obvious example: triangle = Beethoven’s Second Symphony.

New Game: Choose a fictional character and relate him or her to the symphony you think that person likes the most. I’ll start with my example, which clarifies the point: Harry Potter = Beethoven’s Second Symphony.

Can anyone recommend short symphonies to listen to so I can get the full classical music experience without wasting my time with those long, boring symphonies like Beethoven, Mozart, and Tchaikovsky wrote?

What is the biggest “Duh!” experience you’ve had reading this Forum?

Hey, I’ve read Hegel’s Dialectics and Kant’s Categoricals and all that Greek stuff by Plato and Aristolte Onassis but what I really want to know is What is the TRUTH about Classical Music. I mean, the simple TRUTH of Classical Music. If anyone knows, post your response. And I’m NOT interested in hearing philosophical baloney from some of the pseudo-intellectual types who post here because they don’t know anything anywhere else of any useful value. Because I’ve read Hegel’s Dialectics and Kant and Aristotle Onassis and all those guys. I just want the TRUTH about Classical Music. THE TRUTH!

How come SONNET CLV’s posts are so stupid?


----------



## musicrom

Dustin said:


> Why are there birds chirping in the background of my classical chamber music album?


Hahaha, I've actually had that problem before. Once I was listening to Shostakovich 5 and every time I heard a triplet in the piece, I would hear something that sounded like a crow/bird singing a triplet as well. It kept on happening and I was really confused - I hadn't ever heard that part in the piece! I was thinking it might be a weird brass instrument or something that makes a really awkward sound. After a while, I decided to pause the music, and in about 10 seconds I heard the exact same sound. I finally figured out what was going on.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I just HAVE to know what this classical song is, it was in a film I heard at the cinema but I can't remember the name of the film. One of you guys MUST know it, it goes da-da-da-DADADADADA-da-da-da and there's kind of an orchestra going on.


WHAT? No answers?? SOMEONE MUST KNOW!!!!


OK, so this time I've sung it for you. Sorry the recording's not very good, I had to use my gran's mobile phone and its a bit broken lol


STILL NOBODY INTERESTED IN MY THREAD??!! Its been 5 days. I CANT LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING WOT IT IS, GUYS


----------



## 38157

TurnaboutVox said:


> I just HAVE to know what this classical song is, it was in a film I heard at the cinema but I can't remember the name of the film. One of you guys MUST know it, it goes da-da-da-DADADADADA-da-da-da and there's kind of an orchestra going on.
> 
> WHAT? No answers?? SOMEONE MUST KNOW!!!!
> 
> OK, so this time I've sung it for you. Sorry the recording's not very good, I had to use my gran's mobile phone and its a bit broken lol
> 
> STILL NOBODY INTERESTED IN MY THREAD??!! Its been 5 days


Problem is, I've seen this kind of **** almost verbatim on messageboards.


----------



## mirepoix

Debussy? Would he have made a good X Factor judge?

Darius Milhaud - One of the 20th century's most prolific composers? Or simply le fatty, Mcfat, fat, fat, fat?

Operatic soprano most likely to have been the real Jack the Ripper?


----------



## mirepoix

Elton John - secret love child of Mae West and Dimitry Shostakovich?


----------



## senza sordino

Which classical music piece needs more cowbell?
What classical music piece do you recommend listening to while having sex?
How come there are so many versions of Beethoven's Ninth symphony, I mean it's all the same notes right?
If you play Beethoven's 3rd and 4th symphonies at the same time, does it sound like the 7th?
Give a title to some untitled symphonies. 
Why did Verdi write all his operas in Italian?
What would Beethoven's ninth symphony sound like performed underwater?


----------



## mirepoix

Glenn Gould - eccentric genius? Or covert used furniture salesman?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Are Webern's works so short because he took the tunes out of them?

Who would be the best composer to put them back in? Would they be a normal length then?

Did Schoenberg know when he wrote his atonal compositions that people wouldn't like them? So why did he write them?

Is the film "A Song to Remember" (1944) historically accurate? Did Chopin and Liszt really have American accents, and who would have taught them to speak like that?
http://classicallife.net/2010/09/12/chopin-meets-liszt/


----------



## aleazk

TurnaboutVox said:


> Are Webern's works so short because he took the tunes out of them?
> 
> Did Schoenberg knew when he wrote his atonal compositions that people wouldn't like them? So why did he write them?


Ok, Art, we know it's you!


----------



## OldFashionedGirl

Why I fall asleep when I listen to classical?
Why all classical musicians have long hair?
Why all classical musicians are white?
Can black people enjoy classical music?
Richard Strauss was an unrecognized son of Johann Strauss?
Richard Wagner was a nazi son of a *****! He killed jews!!!


----------



## SONNET CLV

Did Beethoven ever ride a horse?

Was Schubert's Erl-King some kind of pervert or something, chasing after little kids? I mean, should anybody be singing about that in the first place? Not that the song is any good to begin with.

Why does classical music have to either have a "key" or be "atonal"? Can't composers be more creative and break out of that mold?

What's your favorite dissonant chord?

Are dead composers better than living ones?

Is Ravel's "Bolero" really about what I think it's about?

If a sociopath wrote a symphony, what would it sound like?

Do violinists really have a psychic thing going on, where they know exactly when to go up with a bow or down with a bow, because I notice at the symphony that they all move the bow the same way but there's nothing on the music score that tells them to do this, so is it psychic, and how does that psychic thing work?

Has anybody in an orchestra ever been hit in the back of the head by the trombone player's slide?

New Game: Pick a composer and then tell what you think he or she would order at McDonalds. My example is: Robert Schumann - A Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, World Famous Fries, and a Mango Pineapple Smoothie. Now it's your turn. And here's a link to the McDonalds menu to help you play. -- http://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en/full_menu_explorer.html

How do you know when a piece of classical music is over?

I'm new to classical music but I like Bach, even though I think most of his music sounds the same. But how come Bach uses so many names: Johann Sebastian, Carl Philipp Emanuel, Johann Christian, Wilhelm Friedemann, Johann Christoph Friedrich. It gets confusing.

Has anybody ever written anything in the key of Z? Just wondering, 'cause I never heard of anything in the key of Z.


----------



## brianvds

SONNET CLV said:


> Did Beethoven ever ride a horse?


According to a biography I read, he did, and in fact even owned a horse for a time.

Okay, on to the next thread.


----------



## SimonNZ

SONNET CLV said:


> If a sociopath wrote a symphony, what would it sound like?


If a narcissist conducted a symphony, what would it sound like?


----------



## senza sordino

SONNET CLV said:


> Are dead composers better than living ones?
> 
> Do violinists really have a psychic thing going on, where they know exactly when to go up with a bow or down with a bow, because I notice at the symphony that they all move the bow the same way but there's nothing on the music score that tells them to do this, so is it psychic, and how does that psychic thing work?


I cut many questions, but the first one here is actually an interesting question.

The second question has an easy answer. While we are not psychic, more likely pyscho. During rehearsal, the section leader bows and we write in the bowing on the score while rehearsing. ^ is an upbow. My problem is sometimes that while I might have an up or down bow written in my score I'll make a mistake and do the opposite. Quite embarrassing but quickly fixed because everyone around is doing the opposite. I once saw one of the professionals in the Vancouver Symphony make this bow direction mistake.

My own stupid thread idea:

Match a smell with a piece of classical music. I'll go first, the smell of roses and Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance March #1; manure and RVW's Third Symphony, the Pastoral; mud and Vivaldi's Summer Concerto in Gm.


----------



## Donata

Was Handel hard to handle? 

Bruckner's 8th: the best symphony to paint topless to? 

Composer cage fights. Bach vs. Beethoven, Wagner vs. Mahler. 

The sexiest instrument. 

The best fast food and opera pairings. 

Moshing to Mozart.


----------



## SONNET CLV

Quote Originally Posted by SONNET CLV

*Are dead composers better than living ones?*



senza sordino said:


> I cut many questions, but the first one here is actually an interesting question.


I'm pleased you find that an interesting question. But I wonder if any currently living composer would be as fascinated to consider that being "dead" could ever be "better" than being alive!


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The hair trials: James Dillon vs. René Descartes, Brian May vs. Isaac Newton.


----------



## aleazk

Richannes Wrahms said:


> The hair trials: James Dillon vs. René Descartes, Brian May vs. Isaac Newton.


LOL but Brian May and Isaac Newton are practically the same person!










And May is even a physicist if I remember well!


----------



## Badinerie

Astronomer and Astrophysicist.


----------



## aleazk

SONNET CLV said:


> If a sociopath wrote a symphony, what would it sound like?


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> If a narcissist conducted a symphony, what would it sound like?


I don't know what it would sound like, but the meaning of that symphony would be "All about Me."

No -- wait, the "All About ME" composer, that _IS_ Beethoven, right?


----------



## aleazk

...............................................


----------



## ArtMusic

When Did Music Cease To Have Its Own Defintion?


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> "What do you think the Prophet Muhammad looked like? Post sketches here."


I'll send you *Le Canard enchaîné*'s contact details so you can subscribe to the same fire insurance policy they have.


----------



## Guest

SONNET CLV said:


> [...] Jews harp virtuosos [...]


----------



## brianvds

Donata said:


> Was Handel hard to handle?
> 
> Bruckner's 8th: the best symphony to paint topless to?
> 
> Composer cage fights. Bach vs. Beethoven, Wagner vs. Mahler.


John Cage would beat them all. He'd throw a prepared piano at them.


----------



## techniquest

> Favorite animal in a classical music piece. Mine is the donkey in Grofe's "Grand Canyon Suite."


Oh that's mine too..without question 



> Is Ravel's "Bolero" really about what I think it's about?


Yes, I suspect it probably is.


----------



## mirepoix

senza sordino said:


> I cut many questions, but the first one here is actually an interesting question.
> 
> The second question has an easy answer. While we are not psychic, more likely pyscho. During rehearsal, the section leader bows and we write in the bowing on the score while rehearsing. ^ is an upbow. My problem is sometimes that while I might have an up or down bow written in my score I'll make a mistake and do the opposite. Quite embarrassing but quickly fixed because everyone around is doing the opposite. I once saw one of the professionals in the Vancouver Symphony make this bow direction mistake.
> 
> My own stupid thread idea:
> 
> Match a smell with a piece of classical music. I'll go first, the smell of roses and Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance March #1; manure and RVW's Third Symphony, the Pastoral; mud and Vivaldi's Summer Concerto in Gm.


The bow strokes - that's one of many things I've frequently wondered about and always meant to post a question asking about it. So thanks for providing the answer.


----------



## millionrainbows

When Music Stopped Having Its Own Definition, Women Got Rights, Slavery Was Abolished, And Other Phenomena of The Modern Age

Selected White Paintings To Look At While Listening To 4'33"

Was Yoko Ono More Radical Than John Cage? Imagining vs. Real Sound In 4'33"

If Someone Farts Silently During 4'33", Should That Be Considered As Part Of The Experience?

News Article: Boise, Idaho: 1200 Audience Members Exposed In 4'33" Pre-Concert Bean-Eating Conspiracy

News Article: United States Marine Band Does A Version Of 4'33" To Commemorate 9-11

News Article: Noise Complaints After Performance of 4'33" In Boise, Idaho


----------



## Radames

SONNET CLV said:


> Why does Glenn Gould always ruin his singing by playing the piano so loud?


ROFL!! Best one yet.

edit - just thought of one; Do the old strad violins sound better because they were made by ancient aliens?


----------



## SONNET CLV

SONNET CLV said:


> If a sociopath wrote a symphony, what would it sound like?





aleazk said:


>


I appreciate your response, but I wonder if Beethoven could clinically be labeled a sociopath -- one who _lacks _emotional connectedness, feelings for others, and any sense of guilt and responsibility. Beethoven seems to have had social issues, probably because of his artistic nature and impending deafness, at least according to a lot of the traditional information (though some new material disputes this), but sociopathy was probably not in his character.

I've long wondered if perhaps Richard Wagner was sociopathic. He displays many of the characteristics of the classic sociopath. Deems Taylor's wonderful essay "The Monster" reminds us well of his social behaviors. He was certainly narcissistic, but one can be a narcissist without being a sociopath. I do wonder if any sociopath can compose music of such tender qualities that we do see in both Beethoven and Wagner.

I do find SimonNZ's post intriguing.



SimonNZ said:


> If a narcissist conducted a symphony, what would it sound like?


That is actually a topic worth discussion, whereas my own post about the sociopath proves less interesting and likely less solveable. But I do suspect that a narcissist could certainly affect the projection of a piece, coloring it with his own attitudes moreso than pursuing what he believes the attitudes (intentions) of the composer originally were. Such a one could be a detriment to music. Do we have narcissistic conductors out there? Good question.


----------



## SONNET CLV

Radames said:


> Do the old strad violins sound better because they were made by ancient aliens?
> 
> View attachment 46775


The real reason is, of course, that wood was different back then than it is now. Something to do, I suspect, with trees having had a greater _Joie de vivre _in Antonio Stradivari's time -- less pollution, less traffic noise, fewer kids building tree-houses in them. The modern era has no respect for forests. Not like in the old days. And the wood senses this. It's not aliens at all.


----------



## SimonNZ

SONNET CLV said:


> I do find SimonNZ's post intriguing.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If a narcissist conducted a symphony, what would it sound like?
> 
> 
> 
> That is actually a topic worth discussion, whereas my own post about the sociopath proves less interesting and likely less solveable. But I do suspect that a narcissist could certainly affect the projection of a piece, coloring it with his own attitudes moreso than pursuing what he believes the attitudes (intentions) of the composer originally were. Such a one could be a detriment to music. Do we have narcissistic conductors out there? Good question.
Click to expand...

Its interesting that both you and PetrB, who also responded to this, are clearly much more charitable than I am. I was actually rather bitchily suggesting that as many if not most conductors are already raging narcissists we don't need to imagine, we know.


----------



## mirepoix

Celeb gossip question: did Pavarotti finally win the heart of Olive Oyl in the end?


----------



## DeepR

Can some metal music be considered classical music ???
Do you like my gangster rap remix of classical piece X ?
Can I play Chopin Etude with 4 months of piano lessons?
Composer X is objectively the greatest ever!
My taste is better than yours and here's why!


----------



## DeepR

Sooooo, about "modern classical"...


----------



## PetrB

techniquest said:


> Is Ravel's "Bolero" really about what I think it's about?


Let's see: a steady rhythm from a South American tribal mating ritual, repeated ceaselessly; the piece lasts near to twenty minutes and is an exercise in one long gradually increasing orchestral crescendo... Hmmm. Do you really think so?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Post An Obvious Homework Question, And We'll Write Your Homework For You"


----------



## Blancrocher

A poll: "Punish the Pun"

Now's your chance to try to vote one of the most hackneyed composer-name puns off the forum! One of the following has to go! The pun with the most votes can never be used again--so choose wisely!

Violators of the prohibition will be suspended.

Bach/back
Haydn/hiding
Liszt/list
Handel/handle
Britten/Britain
Crumb/crumb

n.b. The prohibition does not apply to the author of this thread


----------



## dgee

Who doesn't want one of these for xmas?


----------



## SONNET CLV

Blancrocher said:


> A poll: "Punish the Pun"
> 
> Now's your chance to try to vote one of the most hackneyed composer-name puns off the forum! One of the following has to go! The pun with the most votes can never be used again--so choose wisely!
> 
> Violators of the prohibition will be suspended.
> 
> Bach/back
> Haydn/hiding
> Liszt/list
> Handel/handle
> Britten/Britain
> Crumb/crumb
> 
> n.b. The prohibition does not apply to the author of this thread


At least one of my favorites -- Mozart, Moe's art -- has escaped your liszt ... er, I mean list.


----------



## Blancrocher

SONNET CLV said:


> At least one of my favorites -- Mozart, Moe's art -- has escaped your liszt ... er, I mean list.


I also decided to let "bait oven" slide--didn't think anyone could do without that one.


----------



## brianvds

Who was the greatest North Korean composer?

Galileo - a tragic waste of musical talent on a pointless career in science

What were Beethoven's first words?

Baseball stars who were also classical composers

If you had a time machine, would you try to prevent Beethoven from being born, just to see how music would have turned out without him?

Your top ten favourite symphonies by Bartok


----------



## KenOC

How many symphonies would Herschel have written if his daddy hadn't given him that telescope?


----------



## SimonNZ

"What has Andre Rieu put down his pants that makes his face go like that?"


----------



## Guest

KenOC said:


> How many symphonies would Herschel have written if his daddy hadn't given him that telescope?


For that matter:

How many symphonies did Schrodinger write, until proven otherwise?


----------



## aleazk

arcaneholocaust said:


> For that matter:
> 
> How many symphonies did Schrodinger write, until proven otherwise?


Some would say his equation has the beauty of a symphony.

I don't. It's an ugly PDE, like all PDEs!


----------



## brianvds

KenOC said:


> How many symphonies would Herschel have written if his daddy hadn't given him that telescope?


Yup, another tragic waste of musical talent. 

Liberace: The Polish-Italian-American Liszt

Einstein, virtuoso violinist

Saint-Saëns' interest in butterflies - is that what made him gay?

Was Saint-Saëns ever quite as gay as Liberace?

Should Monteverdi have been shot for promoting opera as he did?


----------



## KenOC

arcaneholocaust said:


> How many symphonies did Schrodinger write, until proven otherwise?


Easy enough. Open the box and count them.


----------



## brianvds

KenOC said:


> Easy enough. Open the box and count them.


I tried that with Heisenberg's symphonies, but I remain unsure as to how many there are.


----------



## SONNET CLV

What is the minimum number of players needed to perform a string quartet?

Why do some recordings advertise that they were "recorded live" and others don't? How else but "live" can a recording be made?

Did Schubert ever write a blues song?

Was Jaromir Weinberger way ahead of John Cage when he wrote his opera _Schwanda the Bagpiper _about a bagpiper and yet never actually had a bagpipe play in the opera?

If the oboe player tunes an orchestra by playing only an A note, how do they know any of the other notes will be in tune?

Do Russian record companies hire professional coughers to make their symphony recordings sound "live", or if they are actually from "live" concert hall performances, are Russians naturally always sick with the cough?

If a piano trio consists of a piano, violin, and cello, what do you call a piece written for three pianos?

How come when Mahler was writing a symphony he didn't seem to know when to stop?

Was Beethoven a poor planner or what? Recently I saw two box sets of his string quartets - one was of late quartets and other was of early quartets. Couldn't he get his music in on time or what?

What's that pizza thing that string players do?

Did Debussy write any other pieces about horses? I only know the one piece about the Mare.

Really … if harp music is the music of Heaven, does it pay to be good?

What is a zod? I was listening to the classical radio station and some guy was talking about a piece of music called "Share a zod". What's a zod, and how do you share it?


----------



## brianvds

So what is Beethoven's immortal beloved doing these days?

Your favourite living descendants of Ravel

The best transcription for harpsichord of Rachmaninov's third piano concerto

Why isn't there a tapeworm in "Carnival of the animals"?

Why didn't Holst write a piece for any asteroids?

Carl Sagan's taste in music - was it any good?


----------



## brianvds

Justin Bieber - the intermediate host of ear worms

Wagner's best elevator music

Why do musicians need a metrognome? Are urban gnomes really that good at music?

If the varnish is the secret to the sound of a Stradivarius, why do violinists spend whole careers trying to scrape it off?

Is the accordion a classical instrument?


----------



## shangoyal

Your favourite symphony by Glenn Gould?

Did Wagner read the Lord of the Rings before he started composing operas?

Hahaha! Obviously, it's a hoax that Beethoven went deaf, isn't it?

Why does every Shostakovich composition sound like the whole world died?


----------



## senza sordino

brianvds said:


> Why didn't Holst write a piece for any asteroids?


A music teacher once asked me why Holst didn't write music about Pluto and the Earth.


----------



## Guest

Why aren't Americans considered English composers? They speak the language.


----------



## stevens

Most stupid:

Who were the best Austrian composers?

Who is the greatest russian composer?

Who is the twenty second greatest violinist?

who is the most unknown composer in Australia between 1976 and 1979?

which is the hardest pianoconcert all categories?

Which piano is the hardest one to play?

What would Mozart do if he lived today?

which piece is the loudest in history?


----------



## brianvds

senza sordino said:


> A music teacher once asked me why Holst didn't write music about Pluto and the Earth.


Pluto hadn't been discovered yet, and he didn't realize the Earth is a planet.


----------



## brianvds

If Jackson Pollock were a composer, would he drip tone clusters all over his manuscript paper?


----------



## PetrB

senza sordino said:


> A music teacher once asked me why Holst didn't write music about Pluto and the Earth.


_The Planets;_ 1916. Discovery of Pluto; February 18, 1930

Earth, omitted -- who knows? Maybe Holst felt he was too close to the subject to be objective enough to do it justice.


----------



## brianvds

PetrB said:


> _The Planets;_ 1916. Discovery of Pluto; February 18, 1930
> 
> Earth, omitted -- who knows? Maybe Holst felt he was too close to the subject to be objective enough to do it justice.


Holst's notion behind the Planets suite was to express the mythological and astrological characters of the planets, rather than astronomical ones. For this purpose, Earth isn't a planet.


----------



## SONNET CLV

brianvds said:


> If Jackson Pollock were a composer, would he drip tone clusters all over his manuscript paper?


We don't need Pollock composing. John Cage did essentially that same thing when he threw metal filings on a page of manuscript paper and then drew in a note wherever a chunk of the metal had fallen. Hey ... and the music sounds like ... a piece by John Cage!


----------



## Guest

Were Slavonic composers slave owners?


----------



## Blake

PetrB said:


> _The Planets;_ 1916. Discovery of Pluto; February 18, 1930
> 
> Earth, omitted -- who knows? Maybe Holst felt he was too close to the subject to be objective enough to do it justice.


I thought Pluto wasn't considered a planet anymore? We just make this stuff up as we go along.


----------



## stevens

Have anyone heard any of Rachmaninoffs computor game music? ..under the psedonym Pacmaninoff ?


----------



## KenOC

Vesuvius said:


> I thought Pluto wasn't considered a planet anymore? We just make this stuff up as we go along.


Well, it *was* considered a planet, but size matters I guess. Somebody wrote a "Pluto" movement for the Holst piece, which has been performed. I have it somewhere, listened to it...once.


----------



## brianvds

KenOC said:


> Well, it *was* considered a planet, but size matters I guess. Somebody wrote a "Pluto" movement for the Holst piece, which has been performed. I have it somewhere, listened to it...once.


Now that Pluto isn't a planet anymore, the piece isn't a piece anymore. Perhaps Holst was prophetic. 

The reason why Pluto is no longer considered a planet are quite interesting in themselves, but I suppose that is a topic for The musically irrelevant thread of new discoveries in astronomy.


----------



## Radames

brianvds said:


> Now that Pluto isn't a planet anymore, the piece isn't a piece anymore. Perhaps Holst was prophetic.
> 
> The reason why Pluto is no longer considered a planet are quite interesting in themselves, but I suppose that is a topic for The musically irrelevant thread of new discoveries in astronomy.


Was Holst a time traveler from the future?!?!?!
Maybe one of the members here is really Gustav Holst!!!


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

We've been getting a lot of 'what's the best ... ?' type of threads - not sure how effective those are. There's no possible way of listing 'the best' works, imo, since every great work has its own focus and its own uniqueness. Also, 'best' depends not only on subjective taste, but also on the circumstances when listening and what one expects from the experience.


----------



## Taggart

Weston said:


> Your top 10 desert island bagpipe concerti.





TurnaboutVox said:


> - Taggart might be able to enlighten us...


Which came first - the bagpipe concerto or the desert island?

Was Ben Gunn a bagpiper?


----------



## SimonNZ

Taggart said:


> Which came first - the bagpipe concerto or the desert island?


That reminds me of an exchange between a father and son in Mil Millington's comic/crime novel Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About:

"What album would you take to a desert island?"
"David Bowie's Tin Machine."
"Wow. Really?"
"Oh, I thought you meant which album would I take to a desert island and leave there."
"Nice."


----------



## Ingélou

'Baroque' is a French word, so is 'French baroque' a tautology?

What if the Sun King had attended Lully's Te Deum?

Did Mrs Purcell have a grudge against her husband & is that why she locked him out?

Unmasking the Evil Global Mastermind behind music exams

Technological improvements in metallurgy - how will this affect the Triangle?

Was the Harp Song of the Dane Women ever written down?

Were Bach's works really written by Francis Bachon?

Is 'viol' a misspelling for 'vile'?

Music-history detective work: did an all-piccolo touring orchestra ever visit Beethoven's home town?

PS Fabulous thread, MillionRainbows :tiphat: - and some of the titles people have posted, I just wish somebody would follow up. :lol:


----------



## PetrB

Vesuvius said:


> I thought Pluto wasn't considered a planet anymore? We just make this stuff up as we go along.


Right, demoted to a fallen / pulled into orbit asteroid or some such -- basically, the natural variety of 'Junk in Space.'


----------



## violadude

brianvds said:


> Now that Pluto isn't a planet anymore, the piece isn't a piece anymore. Perhaps Holst was prophetic.


Not so fast...

http://guardianlv.com/2014/05/pluto-may-be-reclassified-as-a-planet/


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

'Pluto' is one of the best examples of how not to teach science. Kids, whose capacity for understanding is very underestimated, are basically indoctrinated about the solar system.

Is the 'Pluto is still a planet' religion a solely American phenomenon? Anyway, I came here to name-drop this very important guy: Uruguayan astronomer Julio Fernández.


----------



## PetrB

POLL:
Who be... da rappah... wid de mos game, what be...da name, dat pull de mos b___ches?
Who be... da rappah... dat be de mos rude, da dude, who rule ovah all de pitches?
_(Choose three)_

01. Dieterich Buxtehude
02. Caspar Kittel
03. Joachim Quantz
04. Georg Österreich
05. Muzio Clementi
06. Anton Reicha
07. Otto Lindblad
08. Virgil Thomson
09. Sergei Lyapurov
10. Howard Hanson


----------



## Rhythm

Multiple Choice: 
Which composers gathered for weekly tai chi exercises? 
Mahler, Prokofiev, Rachmaninoff, Glazunov, 
Stravinsky, Boulanger, Bernstein? 
All of the above. None of the above.​
Compare composers' obsessions over their porch swings.

Evidence that Mozart didn't floss.


----------



## SimonNZ

"An exhaustive list of things that really are 'Pure and Simple' in music criticism and theory" (0 replies)


----------



## dgee

simonnz said:


> "an exhaustive list of things that really are 'pure and simple' in music criticism and theory" (0 replies)


roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## violadude

Richannes Wrahms said:


> 'Pluto' is one of the best examples of how not to teach science. Kids, whose capacity for understanding is very underestimated, are basically indoctrinated about the solar system.
> 
> Is the 'Pluto is still a planet' religion a solely American phenomenon? Anyway, I came here to name-drop this very important guy: Uruguayan astronomer Julio Fernández.


I wasn't aware that the post-2006 controversy about Pluto's planetary status was an exclusively American thing, but I wouldn't be surprised.


----------



## ArtMusic

Ingélou said:


> 'Baroque' is a French word, so is 'French baroque' a tautology?
> 
> What if the Sun King had attended Lully's Te Deum?
> 
> Did Mrs Purcell have a grudge against her husband & is that why she locked him out?
> 
> Unmasking the Evil Global Mastermind behind music exams
> 
> Technological improvements in metallurgy - how will this affect the Triangle?
> 
> Was the Harp Song of the Dane Women ever written down?
> 
> Were Bach's works really written by Francis Bachon?
> 
> Is 'viol' a misspelling for 'vile'?
> 
> Music-history detective work: did an all-piccolo touring orchestra ever visit Beethoven's home town?
> 
> PS Fabulous thread, MillionRainbows :tiphat: - and some of the titles people have posted, I just wish somebody would follow up. :lol:


That's wonderful and very funny.


----------



## aleazk

SimonNZ said:


> "An exhaustive list of things that really are 'Pure and Simple' in music criticism and theory" (0 replies)


And the always persistent "one star" vote by PetrB, haha.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "An exhaustive list of things that really are 'Pure and Simple' in music criticism and theory" (0 replies)





dgee said:


> roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Seconding that! ...adding ROFLMAOTIME


----------



## Rhythm

violadude said:


> I wasn't aware that the post-2006 controversy about Pluto's planetary status was an exclusively American thing, but I wouldn't be surprised.


Well, here's _that guy again_. The decision was international, as has been mentioned Uruguayan astronomer Julio Fernández by R.Wrahms. See Pluto was plutoed when the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union decided Pluto no longer met its definition of a planet. There you go!


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "An exhaustive list of things that really are 'Pure and Simple' in music criticism and theory" (0 replies)





dgee said:


> roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





aleazk said:


> And the always persistent "one star" vote by PetrB, haha.


That's because you can't vote "no stars."


----------



## SONNET CLV

HaydnBearstheClock said:


> We've been getting a lot of 'what's the best ... ?' type of threads - not sure how effective those are. There's no possible way of listing 'the best' works, imo, since every great work has its own focus and its own uniqueness. Also, 'best' depends not only on subjective taste, but also on the circumstances when listening and what one expects from the experience.


 ------------Well said.


----------



## Guest

Poll: (Thread Title)


----------



## brianvds

violadude said:


> Not so fast...
> 
> http://guardianlv.com/2014/05/pluto-may-be-reclassified-as-a-planet/


Yikes, who wrote this? Some 8th grader?


----------



## Kilgore Trout

brianvds said:


> Why didn't Holst write a piece for any asteroids?


Actually, the Berliner Philharmoniker commissioned a few years ago four works to go along Holst's _the Planets_ that were supposed to form a suite about asteroids. The works were by Saariaho, Pintscher, Dean and Turnage. Saariaho's and Dean's pieces are worth a listen.


----------



## TresPicos

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Is the 'Pluto is still a planet' religion a solely American phenomenon?


I don't think so. I've been upset for eight years straight.

I will never call Pluto anything but a planet.


----------



## aleazk

Who's the best European composer?

Classical music and shoes: compare the evolution of both things.

The name Spectralism is scary!... and the music too!...

If Debussy was inspired by the opening of the World Fair, Schoenberg was inspired by its closing?

Do atonal composers fall in love and experience all of the normal emotions we have?

Perotin killed classical music! 

Integral serialism: record of sales at the mathematics departments


----------



## SeptimalTritone

aleazk said:


> Classical music and shoes: compare the evolution of both things.


Modern shoes aren't frightfully dissonant and ugly. Pure and simple.


----------



## PetrB

SeptimalTritone said:


> Modern shoes aren't frightfully dissonant and ugly. Pure and simple.










For going clubbing, or club feet?








She could start a whole new career -- on the streets -- with these beauties.








"For dance practice," -- seriously?








'nuff said....

Want to rethink or retract that above statement?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Never mind, you're right. There definitely is an avant-garde movement in shoes.


----------



## PetrB

SeptimalTritone said:


> Never mind, you're right. There definitely is an avant-garde movement in shoes.


That is an unimaginative realization / rip-off from a René Magritte painting, 







(detail)


----------



## PetrB

OPs:

Why there is really no classical music since 1900

What was _composer_ thinking of when he wrote _piece_?

What was the _composer's_ inspiration for writing _this piece_?

What is the story being told in .... _Symphony, Concerto, Sonata, Etude ________?


----------



## science

SeptimalTritone said:


> Modern shoes aren't frightfully dissonant and ugly. Pure and simple.


My avatar could've been worn by the most fashionable Renaissance men.


----------



## brianvds

Kilgore Trout said:


> Actually, the Berliner Philharmoniker commissioned a few years ago four works to go along Holst's _the Planets_ that were supposed to form a suite about asteroids. The works were by Saariaho, Pintscher, Dean and Turnage. Saariaho's and Dean's pieces are worth a listen.


I hope they didn't include a piece for Ceres, because it has been promoted from asteroid to dwarf planet!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

violadude said:


> Not so fast...
> 
> http://guardianlv.com/2014/05/pluto-may-be-reclassified-as-a-planet/





brianvds said:


> Yikes, who wrote this? Some 8th grader?





> "[...] Pluto has been able to gain steam on gaining full planet status again due to the Hubble Telescope's pictures it has been taking. Because of them, scientists have discovered that Pluto has at least five moons orbiting around it. That is extremely impressive for something that is not considered to be a planet. [...]"
> 
> Added by *Kimberly Ruble* on May 30, 2014.
> Saved under Astronomy, Kimberley Ruble, Science, universe
> Tags: pluto


Yes, unfortunately the author does seem to have some difficulty expressing her ideas cogently in written English. I'm surprised to hear that Pluto has been taking photographs with the Hubble Telescope in an attempt to prove that it is a planet.

Perhaps Barney and Betty should have arranged a better school for young Kimberly...


----------



## science

Ingélou said:


> Were Bach's works really written by Francis Bachon?


I like this one.


----------



## millionrainbows

brianvds said:


> Who was the greatest North Korean composer?


Why, our most esteemed leader, Kim Jong-un, of course!!!


----------



## millionrainbows

brianvds said:


> Now that Pluto isn't a planet anymore, the piece isn't a piece anymore. Perhaps Holst was prophetic.
> 
> The reason why Pluto is no longer considered a planet are quite interesting in themselves, but I suppose that is a topic for The musically irrelevant thread of new discoveries in astronomy.


Was it called "Pluto the Alienated Outsider?"

How about "Pluto, the Loser"

"Pluto, the Disenfranchised"

"Pluto, the Wannabe Planet"

"Pluto, the Vagrant"

"Pluto, the Off-Kilter"

"Pluto, the Immigrant Asteroid"

"Pluto, the Rejected"

"Pluto, Bringer of Unemployment"

"Pluto, Bringer of Demotion"


----------



## ptr

^^ Has anyone even asked Pluto if s/he wants to be a member of the planets?

/ptr


----------



## Kilgore Trout

brianvds said:


> I hope they didn't include a piece for Ceres, because it has been promoted from asteroid to dwarf planet!


They did ! Mark-Anthony Turnage's piece is simply called "Ceres". It's on that disc by the way :
http://www.arkivmusic.com/classical/album.jsp?album_id=143341

They should have called it "The planets, that planet that is not a planet anymore, a bunch of asteroids, an asteroid that is now a dwarf planet, and other stuff that will probably change before the end of the year."


----------



## KenOC

Poor little Pluto, rejected and made fun of by the other planets for being so small and insignificant. And then, one day, a dangerous comet comes hurtling toward the solar system, threatening to crash into the sun! All the other planets are too far away to stop it and because they're so big they can't move quickly enough. Only plucky little Pluto...


----------



## millionrainbows

KenOC said:


> Poor little Pluto, rejected and made fun of by the other planets for being so small and insignificant. And then, one day, a dangerous comet comes hurtling toward the solar system, threatening to crash into the sun! All the other planets are too far away to stop it and because they're so big they can't move quickly enough. Only plucky little Pluto...


That would make a great cartoon!


----------



## KenOC

millionrainbows said:


> That would make a great cartoon!


But you gotta have a song! Let's see, what rhymes with "Pluto"?


----------



## PetrB

Can I teach myself to play the piano?

Piano! Are there any good free online lessons and tutorials for learning how to play the piano?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Should TC avatars be exclusively members driver's liscence photos, their passport photos, or a choice of the two?"

(This made me pull out my own driver's liscence and passport to see which really was worse. Answer: equally horrible drunk-tank-worthy mugshots.)


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "Should TC avatars be exclusively members driver's liscence photos, their passport photos, or a choice of the two?"
> 
> (This made me pull out my own driver's liscence and passport to see which really was worse. Answer: equally horrible drunk-tank-worthy mugshots.)


Young or old, those collective mugshots would be enough to scare off any visitors looking at the site and contemplating signing up!

It might reveal some surprises as to the gender of some of the members, though


----------



## brianvds

PetrB said:


> Can I teach myself to play the piano?
> 
> Piano! Are there any good free online lessons and tutorials for learning how to play the piano?


The answer would be "yes"to both. To make it a silly thread title, amend it to:

Can I teach myself to become a concert pianist? How long will it take? (I estimate about 9 months)


----------



## SimonNZ

"The Great TC F2F: December 26, Thule Air Base, Greenland. See you there!"


----------



## SimonNZ

"Your struggle to overcome resting snob face"


----------



## SONNET CLV

Visitations to birthplace homes of composers whose music you never listen to. (Inspired by a visitation to Shakespeare’s birthplace home by an acquaintance who doesn’t read Shakespeare or like his plays.)

If there were five seasons instead of four, how many “Seasons” Concerti do you think Vivaldi would have written in his Op. 8 collection?

Why do bass singers always sing low notes and soprano singers always sing high notes?

If a composer writes the same symphony in different keys, is it the same symphony or different symphonies?

New Game: Pick a favorite food and relate it to a corresponding musical work. Example: Jello = Beethoven’s Second Symphony.

If you listened only to Beethoven’s music and nothing else for the rest of your life, how long would it take?

If Justin Bieber is, like, the “new Mozart”, then, like, what will happen to the “old Mozart”? And does anybody, like, really care?

How loud can you play a trumpet?

If John Cage’s 4’33” isn’t music, then why is it the most mentioned “piece” on this Forum which is supposedly about music?

Did Mozart take piano lessons, or was he just born that way?

AGREE or DISAGREE: If classical composers used electric guitars in their music, more people would listen to it.

If I wanted to mingle with snobs, what’s the best piece of classical music to listen to? (Please don’t recommend long pieces. I really don’t like this stuff.)

Does a cow play the cowbell in Mahler’s Sixth Symphony, or do they hang it around the neck of a regular musician in the orchestra?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

How do you come up with all this stuff...


----------



## arpeggio

Yeah, I could only come up with two.


----------



## Blake

SONNET CLV said:


> Does a cow play the cowbell in Mahler's Sixth Symphony, or do they hang it around the neck of a regular musician in the orchestra?


Pphhh, I had this hilarious mental imagine of a performer standing in the corner with a cowbell around his neck.


----------



## brianvds

If Beethoven started a thread on TC, what would its title be?

Composers who painted as a hobby who married painters who composed as a hobby

If the Grim Reaper could compose, would he compose a requiem?

Can a single note be a complete work?

Is the viola the French horn of the string quartet?

Rossini should have gone on a strict diet

Sibelius too

Why aren't wind quartets as popular as string quartets?


----------



## brianvds

Vesuvius said:


> Pphhh, I had this hilarious mental imagine of a performer standing in the corner with a cowbell around his neck.


Preferably in a cow suit.


----------



## SimonNZ

"The recreation and use of seventeenth century odour in 'authentic' performances"


----------



## Blancrocher

SimonNZ said:


> "The recreation and use of seventeenth century odour in 'authentic' performances"


Related: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/jun/02/sewage-mozart-germany


----------



## brianvds

Cell phone in the concert hall: Fux you, you gotterdammerung idiot!

And stabat your mater too!!

If there was a Soviet composer named Prokofiev, why wasn't there an American composer named Antikofiev?

What did Baroque composers use for toilet paper?

Would Schumann have lived longer if condoms were freely available in the 1830s and 1840s?

Most gratuitous use of a fart sound in a serious composition

If you changed a single note in a Mahler symphony, could you call the new work "Variation on a symphony by Mahler"?


----------



## brianvds

Blancrocher said:


> Related: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/jun/02/sewage-mozart-germany


This would have greatly appealed to Mozart's infamously scatological sense of humour.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "The Great TC F2F: December 26, Thule Air Base, Greenland. See you there!"


A separate hall is reserved for those members named _Bob_.


----------



## brianvds

Mozart: a tragic waste of a refined sense of humour on pointless music.

Would Haydn even have bothered if he had known Mozart and Beethoven were coming?

Who was the first composer to smoke cigarettes?

Would it be in bad taste to name a brand of liquor after John Field?

Vegetarian composers who accidentally ingested meat and then composed an opera about it

Stravinsky and Picasso: their secret love affair


----------



## PetrB

Kilgore Trout said:


> They did ! Mark-Anthony Turnage's piece is simply called "Ceres". It's on that disc by the way :
> http://www.arkivmusic.com/classical/album.jsp?album_id=143341
> 
> They should have called it "The planets, that planet that is not a planet anymore, a bunch of asteroids, an asteroid that is now a dwarf planet, and other stuff that will probably change before the end of the year."


I'm waiting for the narrative tone poem, _Space Junk Suite._


----------



## PetrB

Okay... 
I've learned all the notes, 
can play them without any mistakes 
in the right order 
and in the right tempo.

_How do I add expression?_


----------



## SONNET CLV

brianvds said:


> If there was a Soviet composer named Prokofiev, why wasn't there an American composer named Antikofiev?


I wish I'd have thought of that one!

Then again, we Americans don't need Antikofiev when we have John Cage holding down the fort.

"Charge!" (But do it silently.)


----------



## brianvds

SONNET CLV said:


> Then again, we Americans don't need Antikofiev when we have John Cage holding down the fort.


Had John been a Soviet composer, they'd have sent him to the gulag. In, erm, a cage...


----------



## SONNET CLV

brianvds said:


> Had John been a Soviet composer, they'd have sent him to the gulag. In, erm, a cage...


You're suggesting, of course, that the Soviets would have "silenced" Cage and his music?


----------



## brianvds

SONNET CLV said:


> You're suggesting, of course, that the Soviets would have "silenced" Cage and his music?


For at least 4 years and 33 weeks, if not longer.


----------



## millionrainbows

PetrB said:


> Okay...
> I've learned all the notes,
> can play them without any mistakes
> in the right order
> and in the right tempo.
> 
> _How do I add expression?_


If it's twelve-tone, don't worry about it.


----------



## millionrainbows

If there were no octave equivalence of pitch, would music spiral out of control?

If a composer used the serial method, and applied it to a 43-tone ET scale, would he have to exponentially do more work?

I'm allergic to peanuts. Can I listen to Ligeti's tone-clusters safely?


----------



## Mahlerian

millionrainbows said:


> If it's twelve-tone, don't worry about it.


No music can get by without expression. Schoenberg would be appalled at the thought.


----------



## millionrainbows

Mahlerian said:


> No music can get by without expression. Schoenberg would be appalled at the thought.


Just joking, Mahlerian. I suppose that's also why he and John Cage didn't get along too well.


----------



## Huilunsoittaja

LOL this thread has now started sounding like Tabloid titles.

"Was Borodin assassinated at the dance floor?"

"Was the Mighty Handful actually a mafia?"

"THE CONSPIRACY UNMASKED: Overwhelming evidence that Tchaikovsky was killed by his jealous ex-lover Glazunov"  :lol:


----------



## Radames

When space alines come to Earth will they prefer the music of Mahler or Mozart? Make this one a poll.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Obviously they would prefer Stockhausen because he is so... alienating.


----------



## Mahlerian

SeptimalTritone said:


> Obviously they would prefer Stockhausen because he is so... alienating.


I thought it would be because he was raised on Sirius.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

You sir have just recommended a good work to me (at least from the first few minutes). I'm going to listen to the whole thing today and post some comments on the current listening thread. Thanks!


----------



## OldFashionedGirl

Beethoven died virgin?
Schonberg music is so ugly 'cause it represents what he feels 'bout himself?
Rachmaninov was gay?


----------



## SimonNZ

"The new Ring production with costumes and sets inspired by Norse mythology. Directorial freedom gone mad?"


----------



## hpowders

Would Beethoven have turned out to be the inventor of the Pastoral Passbook at his local bank if his taskmaster father had slipped on some horse manure and cracked his skull when Beethoven was 5 years old?


----------



## SimonNZ

^According to The Boys From Brazil that would have turned him into Hitler - that being the only factor that shaped AH, apparently.

oh, and: spoiler alert

on topic: 

"The 24/7 Godwin's Law:Find new and creative ways to accuse/counter-accuse the previous posters of Nazism"

"Spoiler Alerts: How to avoid ruining other members' first-time listens of symphonies and concertos by revealing how they end."


----------



## Mahlerian

Counterpoint and Satie

Composers of the Antarctic Continent

Please Write Me A Flexatone Concerto!

Noble Passages in the Slide Whistle Repertoire

If Hildegard Were Alive Today, Would She Write Polyphonically?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Music mnemonics we wish we could unhear"


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "Spoiler Alerts: How to avoid ruining other members' first-time listens of symphonies and concertos by revealing how they end."


*LOL!. (Pssssst! It ends on the Tonic, same as it started out *


----------



## musicrom

A-Z: Favorite Composer *without *each letter in their name
How do you go about getting Beethoven's autograph?
How long does it take to listen to 4'33?
POLL: Your top 10 composers from Madagascar
Favorite Composer by Height
Best Composers with Sideburns
Is there any difference between Mahler and Bruckner?


----------



## brianvds

SeptimalTritone said:


> Obviously they would prefer Stockhausen because he is so... alienating.


I think they'd prefer Khachaturian, whose music was plagiarized for the soundtrack of the "Alien" movies. 



OldFashionedGirl said:


> Beethoven died virgin?


I doubt that. With Mendelssohn and Ravel, I am not so sure.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "The new Ring production with costumes and sets inspired by Norse mythology. Directorial freedom gone mad?"


An what about the Sutton-Hoo styled production, with all its true to period costumes and with not one cast member much over five feet, four inches tall (excepting the Dragon, of course). _That was outrageous!_


----------



## PetrB

Mahlerian said:


> Counterpoint and Satie






(Written post Satie's Schola Cantorum student days, those started when he was aged 40!)



Mahlerian said:


> Noble Passages in the Slide Whistle Repertoire


----------



## SimonNZ

PetrB said:


> An what about the Sutton-Hoo styled production, with all its true to period costumes and with not one cast member much over five feet, four inches tall (excepting the Dragon, of course). _That was outrageous!_


Why can't they just let it be the story of World Bank CEOs that Wagner wrote?


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> Why can't they just let it be the story of World Bank CEOs that Wagner wrote?


I know. When I go to the opera, _I want those original period costumes and sets just as the composer envisioned them -- including whatever stylistic take that was from within the decade the show was written._

I don't want some silly Frau in braids, breastplates and a helm with steer horns mounted on it, but a woman in a $2000+ high-powered business suit, with a power hairdo and _"Don't ____ with me!"_ shoes. Now _that_ is Wagner!


----------



## brianvds

PetrB said:


> I don't want some silly Frau in braids, breastplates and a helm with steer horns mounted on it, but a woman in a $2000 + high-powered business suit, with a power hairdo and _"Don't ____ with me!"_ shoes. Now _that_ is Wagner!


As long as she's fat and can screech like a jet fighter, Herr Wagner would probably not mind too much either way.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The break down of tonality as illustrated by ABBA:

" Tonality was soft and warm
The feeling right, the Paris night
Did its best to please us

(...)But underneath we had a fear of flying
Of getting old, a fear of slowly dying(...) "

;

New evidence confirms that Franz Liszt was actually an evil witch.​


----------



## PetrB

Richannes Wrahms said:


> New evidence confirms that Franz Liszt was actually an evil witch.


Dude = Warlock
Dudette = Witch​


----------



## TresPicos

musicrom said:


> Best Composers with Sideburns


That one should be pretty much settled: http://www.talkclassical.com/6755-carl-reinecke.html


----------



## brianvds

Why should we take Mozart seriously if he couldn't be bothered to stay alive to complete all his works?

If Bach lived in a democracy, who would he vote for?

The only reason Bach stopped at 20 children was because he started running out of names for them all

Castelnuovo-Tedesco would be far more popular if he had a shorter surname

The ditterbug: A forgotten dance form by Dittersdorf


----------



## hpowders

Can we perhaps have Wagner's Ring without words?

Whoops! Lorin Maazel already tried that!!


----------



## musicrom

TresPicos said:


> That one should be pretty much settled: http://www.talkclassical.com/6755-carl-reinecke.html


Hmm... I'm not sure:

(César Franck - Reinecke has the better sideburns between the two, but I'm not if he's the best composer with sideburns)


----------



## Blancrocher

A poll: Best opus number?

A. 1
B. 44
C. 120
D. 270
E. other

Please share your favorite opus number. Only one choice--no exceptions. If your favorite doesn't appear on the list, please post it--but do not provide an explanation. 

Thanks.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

PetrB said:


> Dude = Warlock
> Dudette = Witch​


I know. I was thinking about that picture taken near his death, and his famous warts. At least in the fairy tales I know of, witches are generally of lesser evil (eating children and the like) while warlocks and evil wizards are more into political corruption and domination of 'the world'. In that context, Wagner would be the evil wizard.


----------



## beetzart

Who was the best left-handed composer?

What is your favourite single note? (Mine is D)


----------



## Radames

What Sylvester Stallone film would be best to adapt as an opera?


----------



## ebullient

Why did all the best composers wear wigs?
If today's composers started wearing wigs, would it usher in a new golden age of classical music?


----------



## beetzart

Which of the Bach offspring would most likely have adopted Marxism as an ideology had they been around in the time of Karl? I reckon JC Bach because he lived in London like Marx.

Which composer cried the most at his own music?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Should modern composers be obliged to wear livery in the presence of their patrons?"

"Who was the most obsequious letter-groveller of the Classical era?"

"How do I obtain this "Syphilis" thing, so I can be more like my heroes?"


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> "Should modern composers be obliged to wear livery in the presence of their patrons?"


Don't tempt them, SimonNZ!

Some medicine and music thread suggestions:

What if Schubert had lived long enough to get penicillin? What would he have written then?

Did Schumann have Bipolar I or Bipolar II disorder? Which is better for a tortured genius to have?

How would the late string quartets sound if Beethoven had access to modern digital hearing aids? Would there be fewer wrong notes in the Grosse Fugue?

If Beethoven had cognitive behaviour therapy, would his symphonies have sounded less angry and more peaceful?


----------



## Metairie Road

> The only reason Bach stopped at 20 children was because he started running out of names for them all


That's not true. He would have recycled names from his earlier children.

----------

Which instrument is the 'Pluto' of the orchestra?

Why are all Tuba players men?

Could a coronal mass ejection wipe out my digital music collection?


----------



## brianvds

Modern music: alphabet soup with too few letters

Why are so many prominent composers either Nazis or commies?

The piano roll: still the best way to record music


----------



## PetrB

------------------------------------POLL:

*So... you're in Linz! ...and you've got four days to kill.

You decide to...
(Choose One.)**

1.) Make an extensive pub crawl through the entire town, leaving no tavern unturned.

2.) Research every architectural site of interest from the largest to the smallest, as well as any and all art galleries -- then, after purchasing a pair of very sensible shoes -- tour them all.

3.) Compose a symphony of about thirty minutes' duration.**





* or, what ~ at age 27 ~ will you be / were you doing?


----------



## Skilmarilion

brianvds said:


> I doubt that. With Mendelssohn and Ravel, I am not so sure.


lol, Mendelssohn had 5 children?


----------



## Brad

Why isn't there a symphony in J major? Or X-flat minor?

Would Brahms' music be different if he didn't go to the pub all the time?

Liszt was not Hungarian because he preferred to speak French

Composers most likely to smoke marijuana


----------



## brianvds

Skilmarilion said:


> lol, Mendelssohn had 5 children?


Wind pollination, I tell you!


----------



## beetzart

Virgin composers apart from Brahms and Bruckner.

If Beethoven appeared in front of you and chatted would you go to a doctor or just let it carry on?

What jobs would our boys have done if they were useless at music?


----------



## brianvds

beetzart said:


> Virgin composers apart from Brahms and Bruckner.


I doubt whether Brahms was a virgin, though his music does make it sound that way, doesn't it? 



> If Beethoven appeared in front of you and chatted would you go to a doctor or just let it carry on?


I'd pretend to be deaf.



> What jobs would our boys have done if they were useless at music?


Now this really deserves a whole thread of its own.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

For goodness sake, my 'Stupid Thread Ideas' keep turning up as real threads!


----------



## brianvds

If Rachmaninov weren't a musician, he would be a funeral director

If Monet was a composer, would his music sound like Debussy?

If the post-it note had been invented in the Renaissance, we'd have had much more great music because composers would be able to quickly jot down ideas instead of forgetting them

If alcohol had never been invented, Brahms would have been less likely to offend people

Your favourite Amish composer


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Ravel, Prokofiev and other composers have written a piano concerto for piano one (left) hand, but has anyone written a piece for a pianist who lost both arms? I mean, a concerto for Piano (toes / feet) and Orchestra? Or, could a pianist with really fast head movements play the solo part with his / her nose?


If Shostakovich and Prokofiev were Communists who wrote music for Stalin, should we in the freedom-loving West be listening to their music?


Why are all the composers that wrote 'Lieder', German? Isn't there any French 'Lieder', or are the French not good at writing songs?


----------



## Ingélou

Does the quality (or presence) of the lipstick used by sopranos affect the timbre of their voices?

Is the title 'Talk Classical' grammatically correct?

How many angels could dance on the head of Lully's conducting staff?

Is sacred music spiritually _or physically_ elevating for the singers?

Is there a correlation between the married happiness of composers and the tedium of their compositions?

I am fifteen years old and am undecided whether to become a virtuoso on the cello or the marimba; please advise.

Is Bizet's music *crimson* or *magenta*?


----------



## KenOC

What's the matter with people who don't like the music I do?

Well, maybe that's a real thread...


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Ingélou said:


> Is Bizet's music *crimson* or *magenta*?


You clearly haven't read enough of Messiaen's _Treatise on rhythm color and ornithology_. It's pale translucent yellow and red orange arborescences on a dark malachite green background.


----------



## millionrainbows

I'm going to be playing Stockhausen's Helicopter Quartet. I can't afford a helicopter, so would a lawn chair and balloons be OK?

If Stockhausen had been black, would he have been Sun Ra?

Webern: Minimal serialist, or just plain chicken?

Did Schoenberg lose his powers after he went bald?

Was Berg a heavy-lidded Romantic, or just a plain old morphine addict?

Obscure "fourth" member of the Schoenberg/Berg/Webern circle discovered: Otto Schoen

The Jungenlieder: Berg's Early Morphine Ramblings

Schoenberg's Secret: He Wrote his 12-tone Music by transposing every third note of Brahms by a tritone.

Milton Babbitt's Laptop Discovered in Attic: Serial Methods Revealed to be a random note generator


----------



## PetrB

Ingélou said:


> I am fifteen years old and am undecided whether to become a virtuoso on the cello or the marimba; please advise.


Love it! -----------------------------------


----------



## Chronochromie

Weber VS Webern

Favorite Chopin symphonies

What if Clara Schumann actually wrote all of Robert's works?

Your favorite composer with Syphilis

Would Mozart be against abortion?

Was Wagner's beard antisemitic?

Rachmaninov and Incest

Was Borodin a better chemist or composer?


----------



## millionrainbows

Der Leiermann said:


> Weber VS Webern
> 
> Favorite Chopin symphonies
> 
> What if Clara Schumann actually wrote all of Robert's works?
> 
> Your favorite composer with Syphilis
> 
> Would Mozart be against abortion?
> 
> Was Wagner's beard antisemitic?
> 
> Rachmaninov and Incest
> 
> Was Borodin a better chemist or composer?


Haa haa! Inspiring! Here's theme and variations:

Was Dvorak a better butcher or composer?

Was Philip Glass a better taxi driver or composer?

Was Charles Ives a better insurance agent, or composer?

What if Merce Cunningham wrote all of John Cage's works?

Favorite Mahler miniatures


----------



## Radames

Why did Arnold Schoenberg stop with 12 tone? Was he too superstitious to invent 13 tone music?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Should 'authentic' performances of Beethoven's late piano sonatas be played only on the composer's piano that had the wires removed after he'd gone deaf?"

(hmmm...I'm sure I read of this somewhere, but i don't seem to be able to confirm it now. Is it apocryphal?)

For that matter:

"Should all performances of late Beethoven be mimed by the musicians, while we imagine it in our heads?"


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "Should 'authentic' performances of Beethoven's late piano sonatas be played only on the composer's piano that had the wires removed after he'd gone deaf?"


To be authentic, the listener should be deaf, still use an ear trumpet (betcha didn't know that apart from violin and piano, Beethoven played the ear Trumpet) and set their teeth on the body of the piano to better feel the vibrations.


----------



## SimonNZ

...and somehow we have to work in the famous "unemptied chamber pots" of his music room into this scenario


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> ...and somehow we have to work in the famous "unemptied chamber pots" of his music room into this scenario


Back to whomever's suggestion we work in to HIP performance ensemble concerts somehow to bring into the hall the way people smelled in the era  "For true authenticity beyond the instruments, the concert pitch tuning and performance practices, _all_ parts of the ambiance of the era should be reproduced for those concerts."


----------



## brianvds

PetrB said:


> Back to whomever's suggestion we work in to HIP performance ensemble concerts somehow to bring into the hall the way people smelled in the era  "For true authenticity beyond the instruments, the concert pitch tuning and performance practices, _all_ parts of the ambiance of the era should be reproduced for those concerts."


So concert goers should not bathe for weeks before the concert and then just wear a layer of powder to cover up the smell. All audience members will be infected with lice at the door, absolutely free of charge! And if you go to the loo during the interval, you'll find it is just a pot, which you empty by throwing it out the window into the street...


----------



## Ingélou

Seats should be graded also according to the birth details and degree of refinement of the audience members. Those in trade should be kept well away from gentry and aristocrats, and there is an option to turn from the door with a servant's well-practised lie any whose views or way of life is abhorrent to the financiers of the concert.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Radames said:


> Why did Arnold Schoenberg stop with 12 tone? Was he too superstitious to invent 13 tone music?


The funny thing is that Schoenberg WAS superstitious. He had triskaidekaphobia and avoided at all cost the number 13.
Moreover, he was born on the 13 of September 1874 and died on the 13 of July 1951.
So he would never, ever, have invented 13 tone music.


----------



## SONNET CLV

brianvds said:


> If Rachmaninov weren't a musician, he would be a funeral director










"I have a deal to make you smile, too. Should you choose to rest with our _premium_ casket, I will include in the wake a personal organ performance of the 'Rhapsody on the _Dies Irae_ Theme', free of charge."


----------



## SimonNZ

"Can I sue the Mozart estate for his turning my normal baby into a nerdy social-cripple bookworm?"


----------



## hpowders

"Would Jewish listeners be offended if a modern German composer wrote a masterpiece of a violin concerto in B Major, subtitled, The "Zyklon B" Concerto?"

This is a public poll. Other posters will be able to view your vote.

Poll closes August 17th, 2016.


----------



## PetrB

Would W.A.S.P. listeners be offended by a piece -- which had as a featured part of its orchestration keyboards playing sound samples of car and bike horns and the sound of breaking saltines -- if it was called _The Honky Cracker Suite?_


----------



## hpowders

I thught Gershwin composed that one already.


----------



## SimonNZ

"The John Cage thread where all we ever talk about is that one damn thing (did he even do anything else?)"


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> I thught Gershwin composed that one already.


I think that was Virgil Thomson, or....
_I got rhythm and played tennis with Mr. Schoenberg_


----------



## TresPicos

*Money back for Dvorak?*

I used to love Dvorak's symphonies, but now I've moved on to more modern music, like Ravel and Messiaen. I remember going to a concert here in Sweden in the early 90s, which included Dvorak's 8th symphony. Now, in retrospect, that feels like money wasted. Could I still get a refund for that concert? Is there some statute of limitation, like you can't get your money back after more than ten years? Also, should I claim the amount for the whole concert, even though the Dvorak was just part of it?


----------



## TresPicos

*The Whispering Through Centuries game*

I've invented a cool game for us here at TC. You start with a composer far back in history, like Monteverdi or Telemann. Then, you come up with a possible meeting that composer could have had with another composer that lived during his lifetime. And you keep doing that until you have reached a present day composer. Then, you think of a phrase that the first composer could have whispered to the second composer, and you try to guess how that phrase would have turned out when whispered to the most recent composer. Sounds like fun? Okay, I go first.

Caldara could have met C P E Bach in 1725
C P E Bach could have met Beethoven in 1784
Beethoven could have met Chopin in 1826
Chopin could have met Dvorak in 1847
Dvorak could have met Castelnuovo-Tedesco in 1903
Castelnuovo-Tedesco could have met Francaix in 1955
Francaix could have met Sandström in 1987

What Caldara said: "Dov'è il mio zaino?"
What Sandström heard: "Min svävare är full med ålar"


----------



## Skilmarilion

Poll: Greatest Shostakovitch Symphony. Give the 12 best ones and your 9 most favourites.

Should we recognise Myaskovsky for trying to write as many symphonies as Haydn or the fact that he didn't actually get anywhere close?

Is Cage's 4'33" amazingly original or did he just add up the silences in Tchaikovsky's 6th?

Is using a toothpick as a baton a criterion for greatness of conductors? Otherwise, maybe Gergiev should re-consider his conducting habits?

Is Beethoven's 9th actually a really lousy attempt at writing an opera?

News Flash: Lang Lang takes up conducting -- releases recording of Mahler's 3rd, with 1st movement alone lasting 3 hours.

If Mahler was alive today, would Beethoven be as well?

Please help with my project: If Bruckner had written a piano concerto, what would it sound like, what key would it be in and would it be emotional enough for Lang Lang? 

Hypothetical Game! If Bruckner had written a piano concerto, would he have revised it less than 12 times?


----------



## SimonNZ

"If Mahler were undead today would he really want to feast on the brains of his audience?"

"If Ligeti were undead today would he look pretty much the same?"


----------



## TresPicos

Germany vs Liechtenstein - quantity vs quality in classical music

Which instrument usually has the nastiest players, personality-wise? Pianists? Violinists? Flutists?

What is the mean number of works for the 1000 most famous composers, and which composer comes closest?

Poll: Which violin string makes you cry?

Which composers are - together - better than other composers (e g Händel + Telemann > Bach)?

How different would the world and the history of music have turned out, had John Cage written 8'33 instead of 4'33?

Poll: Least favorite TC member?

I accidentally left my grand piano in the garden over the winter. Can I recondition it with asbestos?

Which composer sounds best after one beer? Two beers? Three etc? (How many are needed for Schoenberg?)


----------



## SimonNZ

"Should star soloists have cool stage names like wrestlers? What about costumes?"


----------



## hpowders

"Hi all! I'm doing my Doctor of Music dissertation at Juilliard and I need some help getting started."


----------



## hpowders

"Poll:Shouldn't the orchestra on the deck of the Titanic have played more classical selections as the ship went down?
Please choose up to three classical selections they should have played."

This is a public poll. TC members can see your votes.

Poll closes 02/17/2016, 12 AM EST.


----------



## hpowders

"Help me like Mozart! I dare you!"


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> "Poll:Shouldn't the orchestra on the deck of the Titanic have played more classical selections as the ship went down?
> Please choose up to three classical selections they should have played."


Debussy's La Mer comes to mind. And The Sunken Cathedral. Also a selection of the songs from The Little Mermaid.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Debussy's La Mer comes to mind. And The Sunken Cathedral. Also a selection of the songs from The Little Mermaid.


Yes. The Sunken Cathedral. Hint! Hint!


----------



## hpowders

"Hi. I'm supposed to compose a symphonic movement for advanced composition class at Curtis and I need some help getting started. Any ideas? Thanks for the help!"


----------



## Skilmarilion

If Bruckner had written a sonata for viola and harp, would there still be unbelievably loud brass fanfares anyway?

If Einojuhani Rautavaara was acually called Dave Smith, would people still care about his music?

Classic/Pop music theory conundrum! Is it correct that Britney Spears' "Hit me baby one more time" has an extensive recapitulation in the first movement, where the music remains tonally ambiguous for about 1 second before there is a modulation from C major to F-flat minor? If this confuses anyone, don't worry, I can make a poll.

Recommend me songs like Allegro ma non troppo.


----------



## arpeggio

*Trumpeters*



TresPicos said:


> Which instrument usually has the nastiest players, personality-wise? Pianists? Violinists? Flutists?


I actually have an answer for that one.

Trumpet players.

For example, how many trumpet players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Twenty-one. One to screw in the light bulb. Twenty to say, "Man, I could have better done it better than him." :trp:

I our orchestra we affectionately refer to trumpeters players as brassholes.


----------



## hpowders

Maybe we shouldn't be creating these dumb thread ideas? What if a whole lot of them start popping up on TC and then go on for months?


----------



## brianvds

Skilmarilion said:


> Recommend me songs like Allegro ma non troppo.


I think Wagner's Apocalypse Now song is similar.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Maybe we shouldn't be creating these dumb thread ideas? What if a whole lot of them start popping up on TC and then go on for months?


It might be way more refreshingly original than "Recommend me your top ten recordings of Mahler's 1st."


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> It might be way more refreshingly original than "Recommend me your top ten recordings of Mahler's 1st."


I can only think of 7, but then there's the ones with the Blumine movement...


----------



## hpowders

"Poll: If you were flying over Ukraine and you saw a guided missile headed your way, which selection would you listen to on your iPod, knowing that your time was almost up?"

Please choose only one selection as you might not have time to play anything else.
This is a public poll and all TC members can view your vote.

Poll closes at 12:01 AM, EDT, June 15, 2015.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> I can only think of 7, but then there's the ones with the Blumine movement...


The bloomin' Blumine movement: Mahler should never have composed it



hpowders said:


> "Poll: If you were flying over Ukraine and you saw a guided missile headed your way, which selection would you listen to on your iPod, knowing that your time was almost up?"


I guess I'd better go dig around in my collection of miniatures...


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> The bloomin' Blumine movement: Mahler should never have composed it
> 
> I guess I'd better go dig around in my collection of miniatures...


Wait a minute!! Did I see the adagio from Mahler's Fourth as one of the choices? :lol:

P.S. You know I can make an entire posting career right here on this thread!
So many stupid thread ideas....so little time to post them all.


----------



## hpowders

"Poll: Please vote yes or no: If you were on the main deck of the sinking Titanic and the on-deck orchestra was playing your favorite Mozart composition, would you risk going down with the ship to hear the work completed or escape and go aboard a very close rescue ship that was playing loud RAP music?"


----------



## TresPicos

What was it about Viennese that attracted so many great composers (Mozart, Beethoven etc)? The canals? Pizza? I mean, they even had a second Viennese school before lots of cities had had their first.

How must classical music be changed in order to make today's youth prefer it over rap music etc? Adding beat? Adding rap?

Which combinations of instruments still lack music written for them (e g trio with bagpipe, ondes martinot and celesta)?

How could old composers like Boccherini and Sor write music for guitar, when electricity hadn't even been invented? Could time-travel have been involved?

Poll: Which clef should be used in our new collaborative TC project "Rewrite all existing music using the same clef"?

Who would have been the best at the other's instrument - S L Weiss on viol or M de Sainte-Colombe on lute?

Which berries would the great composers have liked, if those berries had been available back in their day?
_[Ravel: gooseberry; Brahms: redcurrant]_

Today's composers: Monotone II, variations on a theme by Yves Klein

Are woodwind instruments really safe? What if buds grow inside your saxophone or flute and you inhale them? Aren't you afraid?

Why are violas needed when you could just tune down violins (or tune up cellos)?

Poll: Plague or atonal music? Choose one.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

TresPicos said:


> Why are violas needed when you could just tune down violins (or tune up cellos)?


Booo!!!  A thread worse than ten thousand atonal music threads!


----------



## musicrom

POLL: Should I start a new poll on "the Greatest Bulgarian Composers of All-Time"???
Can you recommend me some good music?


----------



## SONNET CLV

musicrom said:


> POLL: Should I start a new poll on "the Greatest Bulgarian Composers of All-Time"???


Please do.
May I recommend the two Georgi's: Minchev and Tutev. Both are very good.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> The bloomin' Blumine movement: Mahler should never have composed it
> 
> I guess I'd better go dig around in my collection of miniatures...


There's always Chopin's Minute Waltz, but I've yet to hear anybody play it in one minute or less.


----------



## TresPicos

SONNET CLV said:


> Please do.
> May I recommend the two Georgi's: Minchev and Tutev. Both are very good.


Don't forget Vladigerov.


----------



## ptr

TresPicos said:


> Don't forget Vladigerov.


When I wrote my Masters paper in Musicology I had to read up on a few local music publications published from 1930 to 1960, among the Swedish Radio Times (Röster i Radio), in among the thousands of quotes I gathered was one about Pacho Vladigerov, a short note critiquing a concert with his music (ca. 1950), the first paragraph reading (from memory);

_The music of the Bulgarian composer P. Vladigerov was heard last evening, the composer performing, it was such an amateurish concoction of folkish melodies of low worth that one can only hope that word spread and that the audience of tonight's second concert cancelled their tickets._

I have since never been able to listen, read or think about Vladigerov without gigglin' slightly in the general direction of Bulgaria... 

Xcuze my diversion!

/ptr


----------



## hpowders

So what's next? Do we judge which are the best or worst of these threads and should we post the best or worst of these on TC?

I'm a bit confused.


----------



## Ingélou

Oh, I think 'I'm a bit confused' wins hands down!


----------



## Taggart

hpowders said:


> So what's next? Do we judge which are the best or worst of these threads and should we post the best or worst of these on TC?
> 
> I'm a bit confused.


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

C Dickens.


----------



## arpeggio

Which Beethoven symphony could win the World Cup?


----------



## Bellinilover

I apologize in advance if any of these have been posted already:

"Is 'Figaro' His First Name or His Last Name?"

"Does Hair Color Affect Voice Color?" -- or, "Why, Until Recently, Were There So Few Blonde Mezzos?"

"Which Non-Singing Celebrity, Past or Present, Could You Not Imagine Singing?" (My pick would be Rod Serling.)

"Is It True that the Words 'Are you the O'Rielley Who Owns this Hotel' Could Be Sung to Each of Haydn's Compositions?"


----------



## KenOC

How big was Beethoven's chamber pot? And what's a chamber pot?


----------



## Bellinilover

"What Would a 'Bonanza' Opera by Puccini Be Like?"

"Were Morton Feldman and Marty Feldman Related?"


----------



## brianvds

TresPicos said:


> How must classical music be changed in order to make today's youth prefer it over rap music etc? Adding beat? Adding rap?


Freude schöner goddamn funken
yo mama aus Elysium!
Wir betreten $%#@[email protected]
Himlische dein $%[email protected]!
Deine %^&#% binden $%@#
Was die $%#@$ streng $%#@!
Alle Menschen werden homeboys
wo dein sanfter #$%$ weilt!

BOOM-chick-kaBOOM


----------



## brianvds

Would Raminta Šerkšnytė be more famous and accessible if it were possible to pronounce her surname without doing damage to one's major speech organs?


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Maybe we shouldn't be creating these dumb thread ideas? What if a whole lot of them start popping up on TC and then go on for months?


In the future, I imagine many of us will have to check this thread before creating new threads, to avoid creating a "stupid" thread that has already been laughed at and discarded in this thread.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Maybe we shouldn't be creating these dumb thread ideas? What if a whole lot of them start popping up on TC and then go on for months?


Naw... this is like the good old days many speak about, i.e. like when Mozart and Beethoven were just giving the people what they want


----------



## Radames

Let's have a classical composer fantasy arm wrestling competition. We choose our top 64 composer arm wrestlers and then in a series of polls match them up in an elimination tournament. We then vote to see who we think would win the match. After 6 rounds we would have who we think would be the best arm wrestler out of all the classical composers. Here's my top 64: 


1	Ludwig Van Beethoven - 1770-1827
2	Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - 1756-1791
3	Johann Sebastian Bach - 1685-1750
4	Richard Wagner - 1813-1883
5	Joseph Haydn - 1732-1809
6	Johannes Brahms - 1833-1897
7	Franz Schubert - 1797-1828
8	Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky - 1840-1893
9	George Frideric Handel - 1685-1759
10	Igor Stravinsky - 1882-1971
11	Robert Schumann - 1810-1856
12	Frederic Chopin - 1810-1849
13	Felix Mendelssohn - 1809-1847
14	Claude Debussy - 1862-1918
15	Franz Liszt - 1811-1886
16	Antonin Dvorak - 1841-1904
17	Giuseppe Verdi - 1813-1901
18	Gustav Mahler - 1860-1911
19	Hector Berlioz - 1803-1869
20	Antonio Vivaldi - 1678-1741
21	Richard Strauss - 1864-1949
22	Serge Prokofiev - 1891-1953
23	Dmitri Shostakovich - 1906-1975
24	Béla Bartók - 1881-1945
25	Anton Bruckner - 1824-1896
26	Jean Sibelius - 1865-1957
27	Maurice Ravel - 1875-1937
28	Ralph Vaughan Williams - 1872-1958
29	Modest Mussorgsky - 1839-1881
30	Giacomo Puccini - 1858-1924
31	Gioacchino Rossini - 1792-1868
32	Edward Elgar - 1857-1934
33	Sergei Rachmaninoff - 1873-1943 
34	Camille Saint-Saëns - 1835-1921 
35	Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov - 1844-1908 
36	Carl Maria von Weber - 1786-1826 
37	Jean-Philippe Rameau - 1683-1764 
38	Gabriel Fauré - 1845-1924 
39	Edvard Grieg - 1843-1907 
40	Christoph Willibald Gluck - 1714-1787 
41	Arnold Schoenberg - 1874-1951 
42	Charles Ives - 1874-1954 
43	Paul Hindemith - 1895-1963 
44	Aaron Copland - 1900-1990 
45	Benjamin Britten - 1913-1976 
46	Bedrick Smetana - 1824-1884 
47	César Franck - 1822-1890 
48	Alexander Nikolayevich Scriabin - 1872-1915 
49	Georges Bizet - 1838-1875 
50	Domenico Scarlatti - 1685-1757 
51	Georg Philipp Telemann - 1681-1767 
52	Anton Webern - 1883-1945 
53	George Gershwin - 1898-1937 
54	Gaetano Donizetti - 1797-1848 
55	Archangelo Corelli - 1653-1713 
56	Johann Strauss II - 1825-1899 
57	Leos Janácek - 1854-1928 
58	Alban Berg - 1885-1935 
59	Alexander Borodin - 1833-1887 
60	Vincenzo Bellini - 1801-1835 
61	Charles Gounod - 1818-1893 
62	Francis Poulenc - 1899-1963 
63	Giovanni Battista Pergolesi - 1710-1736 
64	Gustav Holst - 1874-1934


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Should I discuss the pros and cons of the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra with my landlady, Auntie Semitic?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Radames said:


> Let's have a classical composer fantasy arm wrestling competition. We choose our top 64 composer arm wrestlers and then in a series of polls match them up in an elimination tournament. We then vote to see who we think would win the match. After 6 rounds we would have who we think would be the best arm wrestler out of all the classical composers. Here's my top 64:


Haha!! I don't think there's any doubt about who would win that, it's gotta be the big lovable Brahms! with the second place going to the irritable Beethoven solely because other composers would be intimidated by him and because he was a pretty stout man. Skipping to last place, it's gotta be Berlioz!I mean, this guy ain't winning any arm wrestling contests!


----------



## DiesIraeCX

hpowders said:


> Poll: Should I discuss the pros and cons of the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra with my landlady, Auntie Semitic?


Haha, this post has the unique status of being able to belong comfortably in two threads. This one and the "Classical music jokes" thread. Well played, sir!


----------



## Radames

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Haha!! I don't think there's any doubt about who would win that, it's gotta be the big lovable Brahms!


*No way!!!* It would be Ralph Vaughan Williams!!









See - Brahms isn't that big.


----------



## Ingélou

If he could wangle his way onto the list, Lully would win - he'd cheat.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Radames said:


> *No way!!!* It would be Ralph Vaughan Williams!!
> 
> View attachment 47678
> 
> 
> See - Brahms isn't that big.


Yeah, he was 5'4'', which incidentally happens to be a popular height for some of the greatest composers including Brahms, Mozart, Beethoven, and Wagner (5'5'', but close enough). Still though, Brahms may not have been tall, but he still looks like he could hold his own in German bar-brawl! Haha... 
What about Rachmaninoff, I think he'd have a chance too, at 6'6''!

For conductors, I think the 6'5'' 290 lb Otto Klemperer would take it.

Height chart of some of the great composers:


----------



## brianvds

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Skipping to last place, it's gotta be Berlioz!I mean, this guy ain't winning any arm wrestling contests!
> View attachment 47672


Looks a bit like Hpowders' Auntie Semitic...



DiesIraeVIX said:


> Yeah, he was 5'4'', which incidentally happens to be a popular height for some of the greatest composers including Brahms, Mozart, Beethoven, and Wagner (5'5'', but close enough).


When I was a kid, I always thought of Brahms as this huge bloke. His music makes it sound that way. The same goes for Beethoven.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> *Looks a bit like Hpowders' Auntie Semitic...*
> 
> When I was a kid, I always thought of Brahms as this huge bloke. His music makes it sound that way. The same goes for Beethoven.


Ha! Ha! Looks like the typical blind date I would be set up with back in my youth!


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Ha! Ha! Looks like the typical blind date I would be set up with back in my youth!


I.e., once you are on the date, you wish you were blind.


----------



## TresPicos

*Dinosaur music*

We tend to view music as an exclusively human endeavor. But how can we be so sure that we invented it? How can we be sure that music wasn't born already millions of years ago, and then disappeared again, only to be picked up by us humans in modern times? I admit that the chance of music appearing already in the Paleozoic era is rather faint, but what about the dinosaurs? By the Cretaceous period at the latest, these giants of the animal world would surely have stumbled on the concept of music, and even had time to refine it considerably.

While dinosaur music would undoubtedly have begun as some kind of plainchant, perhaps already in the Triassic period, it is difficult to say how it would have evolved from there. Would it have taken the same route as human music? Probably not. Whereas neither the step into polyphony nor the eventual experimentation with atonality seem far-fetched, it is difficult to see the development of dinosaur music passing through a Renaissance or a Baroque era. A Romantic era? Perhaps, provided that the dinosaurs also went through a paradigm shift from the rational to the emotional.

When it comes to instruments, it should be fairly obvious that dinosaurs could not have created bowed string instruments or a harpsichord. Most likely, dinosaurs formed choirs rather than orchestras, perhaps with the accompaniment of a percussion section. It is easy to picture a pack of velociraptors stretching the skin of some unlucky prey over some construction to make primitive timpani. Wind instruments could perhaps have been invented by chance, if a dinosaur got hold of a piece of hollow wood.

Early dinosaur music would have been improvisation-based, but later on, dinosaur composers would surely have emerged. Their music would have been passed on from one generation to the next, since it would not have been written down. One candidate for a dinosaur composer would have been the Triceratops.

Would the dinosaur choirs have consisted exclusively of herbivores or carnivores? Or could the herbivores and carnivores possibly have put their differences aside temporarily, joined together by their love of music? No one knows.

What are your views on dinosaurs and their music?


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> I.e., once you are on the date, you wish you were blind.


Yes. I came up with a photo of my landlady, Auntie Semitic.


----------



## hpowders

I am new to classical music. Can anyone give me a list of the 100 best symphonies, the 60 best operas, the 40 best string quartets and 50 best concertos I should be listening to? I am on vacation for the whole month of August so I have plenty of time to do the required listening.


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> Which Beethoven symphony could win the World Cup?


This one should be "out there". It would go on for many months!


----------



## millionrainbows

Boulez' Marteau Sans Maitre: Where's "1"?

Inversional Symmetry and Row Permutation in Mozart's Juvenile Works


----------



## Blancrocher

A Poll: Best work

A. Enescu - Piano Sonata #2
B. Schubert - Symphony #7
C. Sibelius - Symphony #8

Only 1 vote, please. Be advised that this is a public poll, so other forum members can see what you selected.


----------



## omega

*Do you think Bruckner's numerotation is absurd?*
Should we call it _Nr 00_ or _Nr -1_?

*If Vivaldi were alive,* would he rather listen to Max Richter's _Four Seasons_, to Nigel Kennedy's terrific interpretation or to the latest Lady Gaga album?

*The Phaistos Disc and his musical secret:* could those untranslated symbols be a musical score?







This is not a stupid discussion, though. I once watched a German documentary (which I couldn't find again) where a so-called historian/archeologist/music expert translated the Phaistos Disc into a musical score.
Another very serious attempt:


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which Beethoven Symphony best illustrates in music hpowders' posting personality?

Choose only one:

1. Symphony #3 (Eroica) (Hint! Hint!)
2. Symphony #5
3. Symphony #6
4. Symphony #7
5. Symphony #9

Note: due to the small sample size, this is not a scientific poll. Margin of error +- 8 %.

Poll closes on USA Election Day, November 4th, 2014, 11:59 PM, EST.


----------



## brianvds

TresPicos said:


> Wind instruments could perhaps have been invented by chance, if a dinosaur got hold of a piece of hollow wood.


Lambeosaurs like _Parasaurolophus_ appear to have carried their own built-in trumpets...


----------



## brianvds

omega said:


> *Do you think Bruckner's numerotation is absurd?*
> Should we call it _Nr 00_ or _Nr -1_?


Bruckner named his symphonies after the bra sizes of the girls he liked.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Bruckner named his symphonies after the bra sizes of the girls he liked.


Most likely the symphonies were named after the dudes' cup sizes he was seeing who were wearing the "man-ssiéres", known as the "bro". (Got that from the Seinfeld Show).


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> In the future, I imagine many of us will have to check this thread before creating new threads, to avoid creating a "stupid" thread that has already been laughed at and discarded in this thread.


Yes. I was thinking the same thing. Also, I've seen quite a few dumb threads out there and I was thinking of quoting them here but I don't want to be bahned.


----------



## hpowders

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Haha, this post has the unique status of being able to belong comfortably in two threads. This one and the "Classical music jokes" thread. Well played, sir!


Why thank you. I am bi-postal!


----------



## chalkpie

"Why don't they just use mellotrons instead of orchestras?"


----------



## chalkpie

"Looking for Operas between 1715 - 1805 that use robot vocals"


----------



## chalkpie

"Did Beethoven ever write any porno soundtracks?"


----------



## chalkpie

"Do you think Ives was prouder of Three Places in New England or Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer? Explain."


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Poll: Which Beethoven Symphony best illustrates in music hpowders' posting personality?
> 
> Choose only one:
> 
> 1. Symphony #3 (Eroica) (Hint! Hint!)
> 2. Symphony #5
> 3. Symphony #6
> 4. Symphony #7
> 5. Symphony #9
> 
> Note: due to the small sample size, this is not a scientific poll. Margin of error +- 8 %.
> 
> Poll closes on USA Election Day, November 4th, 2014, 11:59 PM, EST.


This is _easy!_ *Whichever one of them has the shortest running time *


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> This is _easy!_ *Whichever one of them as the shortest running time *


The Fifth, eh? Okay. I can live with that. Give me an hour to practice my grand entrance to the accompaniment that starts from the transition of the third movement right into the beginning of the fourth movement.


----------



## brianvds

chalkpie said:


> "Did Beethoven ever write any porno soundtracks?"


No, but Glass does.


----------



## millionrainbows

Masonic Symbolism in the works of Beethoven: The Eye on the Pyramid and The Federal Reserve Bank Conspiracy

Was Mozart Gay, or did he just write Gay Music?


----------



## brianvds

Mozart was a frivolous beast...










...therefore, all his works were...

ghost written...










... by his father...


----------



## Posie

Top 5 Most Hilarious Comments on TC.

(Actually, I think we could come up with some doozies here. :lol


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Most likely the symphonies were named after the dudes' cup sizes he was seeing who were wearing the "man-ssiéres", known as the "bro". (Got that from the Seinfeld Show).


But, aren't those called _brossiéres_?


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> Mozart was a frivolous beast...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...therefore, all his works were...
> 
> ghost written...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ... by his father...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


----------



## PetrB

marinasabina said:


> Top 5 Most Hilarious Comments on TC.
> 
> (Actually, I think we could come up with some doozies here. :lol


Two Categories: 
1.) Top 5 Most _Intentionally_ Hilarious Comments on TC
2.) Top 5 Most _Inadvertently_ Hilarious Comments on TC


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> But, aren't those called _brossiéres_?


Yes, they certainly could be called that.


----------



## GodNickSatan

Favourite symphonies played backwards.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Atonal music sounds strange to most of us because it is not God's music.

Agree or disagree. Discuss.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Hey, I just love Classical singers like Renee Fleming, Cecilia Bartoli and Anna Nebtrebko, and old-timers like Janet Baker and Kiri te Kanewa. Do you know if they use Auto Tune to hit those amazing high notes?


----------



## Posie

PetrB said:


> But, aren't those called _brossiéres_?


Seeing your quote out of context in hpowders' reply, my first thought was "For Pete's sake, dude, learn how to spell!"


----------



## Marschallin Blair

He's a word-play kind of guy.


----------



## beetzart

Angriest Unicorn Concert Pianist

Finest piccolo to be dug out of a defunct Welsh Coal mine by Jim Davison


----------



## SONNET CLV

If a musician has perfect pitch, will that make him a good baseball player?

What are the shorter, more understandable terms for "exposition", "development", and "recapitulation"? Those big words are so not a common form of language, why use them?

So, do violinists put the handkerchief on their chins to protect the violin, or to protect their chins?

If the Lone Ranger went to the opera to see Rossini's _William Tell_, do you think he could keep his mouth shut, or would he by force of habit yell out "Heigh Ho Silver, Away" at the appropriate moment? And do you think he'd take Tonto to the opera, or leave him outside to watch the horses?

How many notes can a composer choose from?

If Bach wrote the Brandenburg Concerto, who wrote the other five, 'cause I heard there were six Brandenburg Concertos?

Do classical composers ever wear makeup, like the band KISS or David Bowie? And how does it affect their music?

If I write a work in the key of K Major, will anyone be able to play it?

I heard that the Beatles used Bach's trumpet in their song "Penny Lane". Do any of you know if the composer Bach played the trumpet himself, or did they just, like, rent it from him? Please answer quick. I'm working on my research paper about the Beatles and other old, classical music, and it's due tomorrow.

How many symphonies did Beethoven write, and where might I find information to verify that so my teacher doesn't think I'm making it up?

Is Prokofiev's Classical Symphony _more_ or _less _classical than the "average" classical symphony, or is it about the same?

So, just who is St. Matthew in love with? I see that Bach wrote a pretty famous opera or something about his love affair.

Are there any photographs of Anton Bruckner where he doesn't look 130 years old?


----------



## Woodduck

hpowders said:


> Poll: Atonal music sounds strange to most of us because it is not God's music.
> 
> Agree or disagree. Discuss.


Of course it isn't. God's music is "Onward, Christian Soldiers, marching as to war," comissioned by the Deity from Arthur Sullivan immediately after His Somewhere-Up-Highness attended the premiere of _The Mikado_ and mistook Sir Arthur for a missionary to the Japanese.


----------



## hpowders

marinasabina said:


> Seeing your quote out of context in hpowders' reply, my first thought was "For Pete's sake, dude, learn how to spell!"


Thank you for your support! :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Woodduck said:


> Of course it isn't. God's music is "Onward, Christian Soldiers, marching as to war," comissioned by the Deity from Arthur Sullivan immediately after His Somewhere-Up-Highness attended the premiere of _The Mikado_ and mistook Sir Arthur for a missionary to the Japanese.


I only list the stupid thread ideas. I don't discuss them.


----------



## Polyphemus

Dustin said:


> Why are there birds chirping in the background of my classical chamber music album?


Must be Messiaen.


----------



## millionrainbows

Classical Musicians and the Raised Eyebrow Effect: Primate Body Language and Superiority 
  
 
 
 
 

 [URL="http://www.amazon.com/Bagatelles-Fur-Elise-Rondo-C/dp/B0000041MM/ref=sr_1_18?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1407097467&sr=1-18&keywords=alfred+Brendel"] 

[URL="http://www.amazon.com/Beethoven-Piano-Concertos-Ludwig-van/dp/B000003CSQ/ref=sr_1_6?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1407097566&sr=1-6&keywords=Rudolf+Serkin"]  


[/URL]

[/URL]


----------



## hpowders

Deleted post.


----------



## Mahlerian

Poll: Is there any composer that inspires the spewing of more incoherent nonsense on classical music forums than Schoenberg?


----------



## aleazk

Poll: Which of these was more crazy?

-Schoenberg

-Stockhausen

-Babbitt

-Boulez

-All of them (since they all wrote atonal nonsense, doh!...)


----------



## Rapide

Mahlerian said:


> Poll: Is there any composer that inspires the spewing of more incoherent nonsense on classical music forums than Schoenberg?


Have some decent respect for Schoenberg please - his place in music is assured at least for his innovation with twelve tone.


----------



## aleazk

Rapide said:


> Have some decent respect for Schoenberg please - his place in music is assured at least for his innovation with twelve tone.


lol, you didn't read the title of this thread, right?


----------



## Rapide

aleazk said:


> lol, you didn't read the title of this thread, right?


I did. "Stupid ideas" etc. but what fun is this at the expense of dead composers?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Are the bird songs in Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony real birds singing? If so, what kind of birds were they?


----------



## aleazk

Rapide said:


> I did. "Stupid ideas" etc. but what fun is this at the expense of dead composers?


er... we are, precisely, ridiculing the people that make fun of these composers...


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Rapide said:


> Have some decent respect for Schoenberg please - his place in music is assured at least for his innovation with twelve tone... I did. "Stupid ideas" etc. but what fun is this at the expense of dead composers?











Haha, I think you may have misunderstood/misinterpreted Mahlerian's post. :lol:


----------



## aleazk

Mahlerian, you are a dinosaur! Go and listen to your Mahler, your irrational hate towards Schoenberg is meaningless to us!


----------



## Rapide

aleazk said:


> er... we are, precisely, ridiculing the people that make fun of these composers...


I don't know what you are talking about but I would stop ridiculing other people as well. Isn't there some forum rule against that?


----------



## KenOC

aleazk said:


> Mahlerian, you are a dinosaur! Go and listen to your Mahler, your irrational hate towards Schoenberg is meaningless to us!


For Mahlerian:

"I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood"

--Not by Arnold Schoenberg


----------



## aleazk

Rapide said:


> I don't know what you are talking about but I would stop ridiculing other people as well. Isn't there some forum rule against that?


Yes, but this is a friendly ridiculization .

I guess you could report Mahlerian... good luck with that :lol:


----------



## Rapide

aleazk said:


> Yes, but this is a friendly ridiculization .
> 
> I guess you could report Mahlerian... good luck with that :lol:


I've got better things to do than to report this/that.


----------



## SimonNZ

"If we spam the mods with nonsense complaints, can we finally do all those genuine ad homs we've been dying to get out, safe that they'll be lost in the mix?"


----------



## SONNET CLV

Woodduck said:


> Of course it isn't. God's music is "Onward, Christian Soldiers, marching as to war," comissioned by the Deity from Arthur Sullivan immediately after His Somewhere-Up-Highness attended the premiere of _The Mikado_ and mistook Sir Arthur for a missionary to the Japanese.


I thought God's music was always played on a harp.


----------



## SONNET CLV

Mahlerian said:


> Poll: Is there any composer that inspires the spewing of more incoherent nonsense on classical music forums than Schoenberg?


Of course, the incoherency is precisely because the majority of folks who spew nonsense about Schoenberg (and other atonalists, serialists, twelve-tone followers...) are ones who have never studied the theory behind the system and who have no sense of the natural progression from Brahms to Schoenberg. Then again, there are those who even hate Brahms ... who comes from Beethoven. And I had a mentor who once confessed that all music after Mozart was a hoax. Huh? (I recall, I had made a complimentary remark about the music of Hindemith, which led to the discussion which led to that remark.) So, I find your thread proposal closer to "right on" than to "stupid".

Still, the John Cage coalition may give this topic a valid challenge.


----------



## aleazk

SONNET CLV said:


> Still, the John Cage coalition may give this topic a valid challenge.


Yea, but we would have to modify the wording in order to eliminate the word "composer" from Mahlerian's original post then!. Pure and simple!


----------



## hpowders

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Are the bird calls in Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony real birds singing? If so, what kind of birds were they?


This thread might have legs.


----------



## KenOC

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Are the bird calls in Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony real birds singing? If so, what kind of birds were they?


More exactly: "Toward the end of the movement there is a cadenza for woodwind instruments that imitates bird calls. Beethoven helpfully identified the bird species in the score: nightingale (flute), quail (oboe), and cuckoo (two clarinets)." (Wiki)


----------



## Blancrocher

Could somebody please help me identify the music starting at 18:40? It's a popular song, but I vaguely recall that it makes use of the work of a classical composer. I've been trying to figure this out for over 30 years, so I would be most grateful if anyone were able to point me in the right direction.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: At the start of the second movement of Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony, do you immediately set your alarm for 11 minutes hence, so you don't miss the beginning of the third movement peasant dance?

Please vote "yes" or "no". This is not a scientific poll. Margin of error is +/- 9.4%.

This is an open-ended poll and hopefully can be made into a permanent sticky with the administrators' cooperation.


----------



## hpowders

Do you separate your recordings of Bach/Haydn/Mozart according to which performances begin the trills properly on the upper note?

Please vote yes or no and discuss.

I would particularly be interested in hearing (no pun intended) from those TC listeners who are so passionate about this subject that they actually discard their recordings due to improperly executed trills as I have.


----------



## SimonNZ

"What is the correct concert-hall etiquite for when one urgently needs the bathroom but doesn't want to leave and miss any of the music?"


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> Do you separate your recordings of Bach/Haydn/Mozart according to which performances begin the trills properly on the upper note?
> 
> Please vote yes or no and discuss.
> 
> I would particularly be interested in hearing (no pun intended) from those TC listeners who are so passionate about this subject that they actually discard their recordings due to improperly executed trills as I have.


Actually hpowders, this is somewhat interesting. I thought that classical era works _always_ did cadential trills starting with the upper note, because otherwise the rhythm doesn't make sense. Do you have a youtube example that consistently does it wrong?


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> Actually hpowders, this is somewhat interesting. I thought that classical era works _always_ did cadential trills starting with the upper note, because otherwise the rhythm doesn't make sense. Do you have a youtube example that consistently does it wrong?


I only list the stupid thread ideas. I don't discuss them.


----------



## hpowders

Sorry if I accidentally slipped in a thread idea that wasn't actually stupid. I promise to never do that again.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

It's okay: I love you too!


----------



## hpowders

Deleted post.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

An idea for a TC Poll:

Which work had a greater influence on the 19th century Romantic composers?

A.) Beethoven's Fifth
B.) A Fifth of Beethoven
C.) All of the above


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "What is the correct concert-hall etiquite for when one urgently needs the bathroom but doesn't want to leave and miss any of the music?"


That Depends®. ====================


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Do you separate your recordings of Bach/Haydn/Mozart according to which performances begin the trills properly on the upper note?
> 
> Please vote yes or no and discuss.
> 
> I would particularly be interested in hearing (no pun intended) from those TC listeners who are so passionate about this subject that they actually discard their recordings due to improperly executed trills as I have.










-------------------------


----------



## SONNET CLV

Blancrocher said:


> Could somebody please help me identify the music starting at 18:40? It's a popular song, but I vaguely recall that it makes use of the work of a classical composer. I've been trying to figure this out for over 30 years, so I would be most grateful if anyone were able to point me in the right direction.


I can help you there. I think it's something by Mozart. Or maybe his brother. I always get the two confused.


----------



## Morimur

*Young Elvis vs. Fat Elvis*

_Who was really king? _

I prefer my Elvis obese and high as a kite with an enlarged 9 ft colon containing 5 months worth of stool.






Uh-huh huh, hey, hey...


----------



## millionrainbows

Lope de Aguirre said:


> I prefer my Elvis obese and high as a kite with an enlarged 9 ft colon containing 5 months worth of stool.


EEEWWWW!!!!!! Gross!


----------



## Haydn man

Beethoven or Big Mac which has had the greatest influence on mankind?
Answers please in less than 10 words


----------



## Mahlerian

Haydn man said:


> Beethoven or Big Mac which has had the greatest influence on mankind?
> Answers please in less than 10 words


Has Beethoven ever made entire nations next to obese?


----------



## Haydn man

Mahlerian said:


> Has Beethoven ever made entire nations next to obese?


Good answer or question and less than 10 words


----------



## Haydn man

Blancrocher said:


> Could somebody please help me identify the music starting at 18:40? It's a popular song, but I vaguely recall that it makes use of the work of a classical composer. I've been trying to figure this out for over 30 years, so I would be most grateful if anyone were able to point me in the right direction.


I know I know ask me!
It's a well disguised version of Mahler's 11th symphony in 2 keys B and G both flat I believe


----------



## hpowders

Why did Haydn go to London, even though he didn't speak English?


----------



## SimonNZ

millionrainbows said:


> EEEWWWW!!!!!! Gross!


If you could keep it on topic of classical music then an "Ew, Gross!" thread might just be awesome.


----------



## superhorn

Symphonies in one half movement .

Symphonies in zero movements .

Unbegun symphonies ( with apologies to Peter Schickele ).

Symphonies in 25 movements .

Symphonies in bowel movements .


----------



## PetrB

Haydn man said:


> I know I know ask me!
> It's a well disguised version of Mahler's 11th symphony in 2 keys B and G both flat I believe


Yes, that reference in Mahler's 11th to his use of _Frère Jacques_ recast in the minor in his first symphony is very interesting, and a more poignant personal looking back on the part of a composer near the end of his life would be difficult to imagine, while _actually,_ that excerpted reference as it is so subtly used in this disco number is in the form of the retrograde inversion of that minor key Frère Jacques, as well as it is hocketed between the bass and the rhythm guitar and the digital string pad 'section.'

Good hearing, empiric perhaps, and / or based on a bit of your intuition, but not quite accurate.


----------



## PetrB

superhorn said:


> Symphonies in one half movement .
> 
> Symphonies in zero movements .
> 
> Unbegun symphonies ( with apologies to Peter Schickele ).
> 
> Symphonies in 25 movements .
> 
> Symphonies in bowel movements .


Those begun and completed "In my head" works we hear so much about online: 
Whole symphonies imagined, completed from beginning to end, but not written down because the creator knew nothing of either how to play any instrument or musical notation.


----------



## SimonNZ

"The Art Of Taking Dictation From Tone-Deaf, Musically-Illiterate Composers - Masterpieces Rescued!"


----------



## hpowders

If some posters were not familiar with one of your favorite classical compositions, would you hold it personally against them and if so, for how long? Discuss with musical anecdotes.


----------



## hpowders

I am new to classical music. Can you please tell me about the similarities and differences between these two symphonies, Haydn's Farewell and Bruckner's Ninth, since they both seem to be saying goodbye?


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> If some posters were not familiar with one of your favorite classical compositions, would you hold it personally against them and if so, for how long? Discuss with musical anecdotes.


*A: *_GASP!_ You don't know of Vittorio Rieti's Concerto for Harpsichord, never heard of the composer, or anything else by him? Egads, man, _WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN -- living under a rock, raised by wolves?_ Your ignorance is both astounding and appalling."

*B: *"@(%&#**$*b, [email protected]$ #*&(( ((!^**$ Sibelius' 4th."

*A: * "Who?"


----------



## chalkpie

"Did the Sex Pistols influence any other composers besides Haydn, Dowland, and Chopin?"


----------



## brianvds

chalkpie said:


> "Did the Sex Pistols influence any other composers besides Haydn, Dowland, and Chopin?"


Gesualdo. He caught his wife having sex with another guy, so he shot them both with a pistol.


----------



## PetrB

chalkpie said:


> "Did the Sex Pistols influence any other composers besides Haydn, Dowland, and Chopin?"


I.) If Georges Sand owned and knew how to use a firearm, then... maybe. After all, Schumann reviewed Chopin as "Cannon hidden in flowers."

2.) Cannon in Tchaikovsky ~ _1812 overture_.

3.) Pistol shots in Satie ~ _Parade_


----------



## SimonNZ

"Have performances of concertos of the "soloist vs orchestra" type ever degenerated into actual fisticuffs?"


----------



## Polyphemus

SimonNZ said:


> "Have performances of concertos of the "soloist vs orchestra" type ever degenerated into actual fisticuffs?"


It may have come close between Richter and Karajan in their recording of the Tchaikovsky Pno Conc 1, my money would have been on Richter.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new to classical music. How do Russian, American and German composers read a musical score, given their different languages? 
I have many more such questions, but this was my best. I hope to be on TC for a long, long time.


----------



## Polyphemus

Its all translated to Mandarin for them by the gnomes of Zurich.


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> *A: *_GASP!_ You don't know of Vittorio Rieti's Concerto for Harpsichord, never heard of the composer, or anything else by him? Egads, man, _WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN -- living under a rock, raised by wolves?_ Your ignorance is both astounding and appalling."
> 
> *B: *"@(%&#**$*b, [email protected]$ #*&(( ((!^**$ Sibelius' 4th."
> 
> *A: * "Who?"


I simply list stupid thread ideas. I do not discuss them.


----------



## PetrB

If Liszt's hands had been really small, would his piano music be easier to play?


----------



## brianvds

Polyphemus said:


> It may have come close between Richter and Karajan in their recording of the Tchaikovsky Pno Conc 1, my money would have been on Richter.


Not mine: pianists cannot afford to break their hands, so Richter might well have just stood there while Karajan slapped him around... 



PetrB said:


> If Liszt's hands had been really small, would his piano music be easier to play?


And one might ask the same about Rachmaninov.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new to classical music. I was wondering. Did Chopin write "etudes" because he wasn't familiar with the English word "studies"? I hope someone on TC can help me with this.


----------



## hpowders

I've read three authoritative books on Beethoven, yet my composing efforts are still mundane at best. Can someone please recommend a really good book about Beethoven so I can compose more like him?


----------



## hpowders

Opinion poll: Do you think atonal music is played in heaven? Please describe musical anecdotes to support your position.

Note: This is a public poll and everyone on TC can see your selection, so please choose carefully.


----------



## hpowders

I am a new clarinet student. Can someone recommend a really good embouchure?


----------



## hpowders

Do you prefer being horizontal, vertical or somewhere in-between when listening to classical music? Please discuss with relevant musical anecdotes to support your position (pun intended).


----------



## Vesteralen

Great deals on sackbuts. Stock up now while supplies last!


----------



## millionrainbows

I have decided to start lessons on the contrabass flute. Can I use a regular kitchen mop to clean the inside?

I want to play the Theremin, but I've heard you need to develop callouses first. Is this true?

I'm starting violin, and a guy with horns and a tail has offered to give me prodigious ability on the instrument, in return for my soul. Should I sell it to him?


----------



## Mahlerian

Vesteralen said:


> Great deals on sackbuts. Stock up now while supplies last!


I want a serpent and a krummhorn too, and can you throw in an ophicleide?


----------



## Vesteralen

Mahlerian said:


> I want a serpent and a krummhorn too, and can you throw in an ophicleide?


Sorry, try *Ophicleides Unlimited *or *Serpents-N-Krummhorns-R-Us.com*


----------



## hpowders

I just read a book in philosophy class stating that music is useless, so I'm throwing it out there, is music listening simply a waste of time?
I would especially like to hear from those who have some real life musical anecdotes of how music has wasted your time.


----------



## shangoyal

hpowders said:


> I just read a rather learned paper, "Music Is Useless", so I'm throwing it out there, is music listening simply a waste of time?
> I would especially like to hear from those who have some real musical anecdotes of how music has wasted your time.


I once listened to the Romanza from Eine Kleine Nachtmusik 7 times in a row and still didn't think it was a waste of time!


----------



## hpowders

I know you can listen to music when stationary as I have just tried it and it works fine, but can you listen to music when writing someone on fine stationery? Please discuss with actual appropriate musical anecdotes.


----------



## Vesteralen

My 1819th Post!!!!!


----------



## hpowders

^^^^:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## arpeggio

*Symphonie Fantastique ophicleides*



Mahlerian said:


> I want a serpent and a krummhorn too, and can you throw in an ophicleide?


When I performed the _Symphonie Fantastique_ the tuba players showed up with ophicleides. WHAT AN AWESOME SOUND. :clap:

Note: Forgive for being off topic.


----------



## SimonNZ

"The Twenty Best National Anthems (I know they're all unique masterpieces: its tough choices time!)


----------



## Vesteralen

"Celebrity Diva Sing-Off Volume 4: Ethel Merman vs. Maria Callas (There's No Business Like Bel Canto Business)"


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> Do you prefer being horizontal, vertical or somewhere in-between when listening to classical music? Please discuss with relevant musical anecdotes to support your position (pun intended).


I prefer to be on top.


----------



## PetrB

Vesteralen said:


> Great deals on sackbuts. Stock up now while supplies last!


~ How to Get Your Sad Sackbut In Shape In Just Four Weeks! ~

Fun and Effective exercise routine, video with great music to work by, on DVD. -- Just 29.95 (S&A additional.)


----------



## millionrainbows

Review of Cage's 4'33" in Blu-ray Hi Rez

Excerpt from review:_ "...the silence is darker, more palpable. Normal sound creates air pressure-waves on the eardrum; this recording actually creates negative air-pressure waves; in fact, the silence is so great that I felt a "sucking" sensation on my eardrums as I listened. This is "negative" silence. Wow, I've never experienced a silence so strong as this."

_


----------



## millionrainbows

millionrainbows said:


> Review of Cage's 4'33" in Blu-ray Hi Rez
> 
> Excerpt from review:_ "...the silence is darker, more palpable. Normal sound creates air pressure-waves on the eardrum; this recording actually creates negative air-pressure waves; in fact, the silence is so great that I felt a "sucking" sensation on my eardrums as I listened. This is "negative" silence. Wow, I've never experienced a silence so strong as this."
> 
> _


*I'll beat ya to it:* "Yeah, I coulda told you that 4'33" sucked a long time ago."


----------



## Blancrocher

*Best 100 Segerstam Symphonies*

Hi everyone! I would like to come up with a TC-approved list of the best 100 symphonies by the composer Leif Segerstam. Please contribute a ranked list of your favorite 100.

Voting will last for 1 month, after which I'll tabulate the results. Voting will be reopened every time Segerstam composes an additional 50 symphonies.


----------



## Donata

If no one attends a performance of Cage's 4'33'' does it exist?

Was Wagner operas inspired by Star Wars?

What would Mozart's favorite movie be and why?

Top symphonies influenced by heavy metal.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> I'm new to classical music. I was wondering. Did Chopin write "etudes" because he wasn't familiar with the English word "studies"? I hope someone on TC can help me with this.


He used etude because he realized that the Polish word - zrxcnbetudstchzrk - would not exactly help their popularity.



millionrainbows said:


> I want to play the Theremin, but I've heard you need to develop callouses first. Is this true?


In principle, you can play the instrument without calluses, but if there is a major power surge, lack of calluses can lead to serious burns.



> I'm starting violin, and a guy with horns and a tail has offered to give me prodigious ability on the instrument, in return for my soul. Should I sell it to him?


He's lying - the only thing he can help you with is the serpent.


----------



## SimonNZ

brianvds said:


> I want to play the Theremin, but I've heard you need to develop callouses first. Is this true?
> 
> 
> 
> In principle, you can play the instrument without calluses, but if there is a major power surge, lack of calluses can lead to serious burns.
Click to expand...

_I'm going to use both of these in conversation at the first opportunity and claim they're my own._


----------



## SimonNZ

"Advanced Fussiness For Percussionists: How To Make Those Idle Moments Scene-Stealing"


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "Advanced Fussiness For Percussionists: How To Make Those Idle Moments Scene-Stealing"


Oh, _Zap!_ and _Snap!_

-* * * * *


----------



## brianvds

Do tympanists get paid per hour or per thump?

Are there any one-armed conductors?

Your favourite penny whistle concertos


----------



## bassClef

This thread beats them all!


----------



## millionrainbows

brianvds said:


> He used etude because he realized that the Polish word - zrxcnbetudstchzrk - would not exactly help their popularity.
> 
> In principle, you can play the instrument without calluses, but if there is a major power surge, lack of calluses can lead to serious burns.


Hey, these are stupid thread ideas, we're not supposed to discuss them...but "snappy comebacks" are encouraged! :lol: LOL


----------



## millionrainbows

Theremin Jokes

Yes, I'm a Theremin player, but I haven't touched it in months!

Theremin in country music: This gives new meaning to the phrase, "Take it, Leon!"

Children's Favorites on Theremin (if you wanna scare 'em)

The orchestra was 'off' tonight...instead of the oboe, they used a Theremin to tune up...


----------



## Radames

What are the top 10 Moldovan zither concertos?


----------



## hpowders

Atonal Music Can Be fun!!

Please provide relevant musical examples.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Debussy Piano Music or Strong Black Espresso? Which is more uplifting.
Please discuss with relevant Nespresso brands and Debussy piano pieces.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> Atonal Music Can Be fun!!
> 
> Please provide relevant musical examples.







Unfortunately, this would actually be a good thread topic.


----------



## hpowders

vs.








Prokofiev's "The Ugly Duckling." Did Prokofiev find his inspiration for this piece from rowing on a placid lake or simply by gazing in a mirror? Discuss with appropriate references please.


----------



## Mahlerian

hpowders said:


> Atonal Music Can Be fun!!
> 
> Please provide relevant musical examples.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> Prokofiev's "The Ugly Duckling." Did Prokofiev find his inspiration for this piece from rowing on a placid lake or simply by gazing in a mirror?


Not everyone can be as handsome as hpowders.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement: I only compose stupid thread ideas. I do not discuss them.


----------



## hpowders

I apologize in advance if this thread topic has already been discussed.
I am new here. If a tsunami wave was 1000 feet away and I was in danger of being swept away, which CD should I try to take with me so it won't get lost, or at the very least, wet: Handel's Water Musick; Beethoven's Bagatelles; Mahler's Kindertotenlieder? I value your opinions.

Please hur


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Mahlerian said:


> [Igor Stravinsky: The Owl and the Pussycat]


OMG Mahlerian the lyrics in that song. Stravinsky was far ahead of his time. If only twelve-tone music were more popular, who knows what kind of entertainment that song would be background music for.


----------



## hpowders

Would you rather buy a liquid antacid formulated by Borodin or a whole life insurance policy put together by Ives?
List musical examples where appropriate.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Would you rather buy a liquid antacid formulated by Borodin or a whole life insurance policy put together by Ives?
> List musical examples where appropriate.


I'd rather eat a tenderloin cut by Dvorak.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Would Putin and Obama meeting and sharing a love for Prokofiev's Third Piano Concerto be a good way for the US to perhaps end Russia's pursuit of Ukraine? Choose up to three favorite performances of this concerto you would submit for Obama to bring to Putin to listen to. Discuss your choices as they are relevant to potential detente.


----------



## SimonNZ

"The uncanny accuracy of Norman Lebrecht's dire prognostications."


----------



## DiesIraeCX

In this massive undertaking, I want to determine the average temperament of the entire TalkClassical community. I propose to the moderators and admins that this poll be mandatory.

Poll: If you could best explain your temperament by a movement, which would it be? (This is a public poll, others will see your vote. You may only choose ONE.)

- Allegro
- 4'33' 1st Mvt
- Allegro Ma Non Troppo
- Un Poco Maestoso
- Molto Allegro
- 4'33'' 2nd Mvt
- Allegro Vivace
- 4'33'' 3rd Mvt
- Scherzo
- Allegro Energico E Passionato
- Adagio
- Adagissimo
- Andante
- Andante Comodo
- Im Tempo Eines Gemaechlichen Laendlers
- Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend
- Allegretto
- Feierlich, Misterioso
- Allegro Con Brio
- Andante Con Moto
- Feierlich, Misterioso
- Largo
- Grazioso
- Andante Sostenuto
- Allegro Giocoso
- Bedächtig. Nicht Eilen
- Rondo Burleske
- Sehr Feierlich Aber Schlicht
- Other (Please Specify)


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Atonal Music Can Be fun!!
> 
> Please provide relevant musical examples.


This has been posted many times, but one can always do with more:


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Poll: Debussy Piano Music or Strong Black Espresso? Which is more uplifting.
> Please discuss with relevant Nespresso brands and Debussy piano pieces.


And then there was Rachmaninov, who always started his day with a strong cup of Depresso.



millionrainbows said:


> I'd rather eat a tenderloin cut by Dvorak.


I have always felt that Rossini was probably the best cook among the great composers. But I'm willing to be proved wrong. In fact, it makes me think we need a thread titled "List your favourite recipes by composers."


----------



## KenOC

brianvds said:


> And then there was Rachmaninov, who always started his day with a strong cup of Depresso.


Who was it that said, "Rachmaninov -- the man whose whole face was a scowl."

Added: Checked, and I see that Stravinsky called him a "six and half foot scowl."


----------



## brianvds

KenOC said:


> Who was it that said, "Rachmaninov -- the man whose whole face was a scowl."
> 
> Added: Checked, and I see that Stravinsky called him a "six and half foot scowl."


And then there is this:


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Poll: What is your favourite CD packaging

* plastic jewel case
* double plastic jewel case
* cardboard sleeve
* box set / cardboard box
* hybrid cardboard sleeve / plastic CD holder insert (e.g. from those new Berlin-based micro-labels) 
* tetrahedral pyramid
* bubble-wrap envelope
* other (please give details)
* I don't buy CDs

Vote for only one choice. Please give examples of packaging you think appropriate for different genres, e.g. atonal music in mini-galvanised steel dustbins*

* I'm not starting anything, just giving a neutral example, OK?


----------



## brianvds

TurnaboutVox said:


> Vote for only one choice. Please give examples of packaging you think appropriate for different genres, e.g. atonal music in mini-galvanised steel dustbins*
> * I'm not starting anything, just giving a neutral example, OK?


Atonal music should be packaged in a lead box, to prevent radiation burns.


----------



## shangoyal

Which pianists can play the Moonlight Sonata backwards?

Is Katy Perry a neo-classical musician?

How many musicians do you need to play string quartets?

Does Philip Glass write music for instruments of glass?

Is music useless, or is it too difficult to listen to it, or do you need more than ears to listen to it, or is it worse than taking your dog out for a walk, or could Beethoven have composed Hey Jude?


----------



## PetrB

shangoyal said:


> Does Philip Glass write music for instruments of glass?


Waiting, still, for his concerto for this:


----------



## hpowders

If Hitler never existed, would Wagner simply be considered a hack?
Please discuss this and other despots' effects on the musical scene of their day.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> If Hitler never existed, would Wagner simply be considered a hack?
> Please discuss this and other despots' effects on the musical scene of their day.


...with particular reference to Comrade Stalin.


----------



## mirepoix

'Which of Schoenberg's works do you believe would be best suited to being set to music?'


(BTW, I 'ain't looking for a fight, but if you want one meet me in the lane behind the bar and you'll get one. *flexes*)


----------



## hpowders

mirepoix said:


> 'Which of Schoenberg's works do you believe would be best suited to being set to music?'
> 
> (BTW, I 'ain't looking for a fight, but if you want one meet me in the lane behind the bar and you'll get one. *flexes*)


:lol: :lol:


----------



## Mahlerian

mirepoix said:


> 'Which of Schoenberg's works do you believe would be best suited to being set to music?'
> 
> (BTW, I 'ain't looking for a fight, but if you want one meet me in the lane behind the bar and you'll get one. *flexes*)


Sure, I'll give ya a fight!

See here:
http://www.talkclassical.com/33122-stupid-thread-ideas-post700313.html#post700313


----------



## mirepoix

Mahlerian said:


> Sure, I'll give ya a fight!
> 
> See here:
> http://www.talkclassical.com/33122-stupid-thread-ideas-post700313.html#post700313


Ah. Okay. Go for it, Toots. *flexes - but this time pulls a muscle and Wilhelm screams*


----------



## Mahlerian

mirepoix said:


> Ah. Okay. Go for it, Toots. *flexes - but this time pulls a muscle and Wilhelm screams*


Let's go!

*Runs, trips, gets up limping*


----------



## hpowders

Mitsuko Uchida has completely lost her mind. I present as conclusive evidence the fact that she has recorded Schönberg's Piano Concerto.

Would love to hear from any psychiatrists cruising around TC. Laymen too, feel free to discuss.


----------



## Mahlerian

hpowders said:


> Mitsuko Uchida has completely lost her mind. I present as conclusive evidence the fact that she has recorded Schönberg's Piano Concerto.


Ax, Pollini, Serkin, Gould, Brendel? All of them loony, eh?

Well, okay, I'll grant Gould.


----------



## Radames

hpowders said:


> If Hitler never existed, would Wagner simply be considered a hack?
> Please discuss this and other despots' effects on the musical scene of their day.


If a Hitler symphony was discovered would you listen to it?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Radames said:


> If a Hitler symphony was discovered would you listen to it?


Haha, I'd YouTube it. Definitely wouldn't purchase it, it'd probably be as mediocre as his paintings are.


----------



## KenOC

Radames said:


> If a Hitler symphony was discovered would you listen to it?


Certainly, but only in the remastered "Platinum Edition." SACD would be nice.


----------



## Radames

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Haha, I'd YouTube it. Definitely wouldn't purchase it, it'd probably be as mediocre as his paintings are.


What if it was good though?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Radames said:


> What if it was good though?


If it was good (or very good or excellent), I don't think it would matter. I could not bring myself to purchase it much less enjoy it. The actions of WWII are too close to the present day for me to be able to enjoy it. I mean, let's be real about this. Is anyone upset with Genghis Khan right now? Of course not, he lived 800 years ago. Time is all-powerful. Hitler is just too close for comfort.


----------



## SONNET CLV

Did Rossini write any music when he wasn't fat? Did Mussorgsky write any music when he wasn't drunk?

POLL: Shostakovich Party Classics. List your top ten favorites.

It's well documented that the Italian Renaissance composer Gesualdo wrote music after he committed several murders. Does anyone here know if any composers have written music after they themselves were murdered?

Is there something fishy about Schubert's Trout Quintet? And if so, what?

We all know about Mozart, but who else did Salieri kill?

Is it true that the Beatle John Lennon got his song writing abilities from wearing Schubert's glasses?

How does Wagner's _Ring_, in its pantomime version for deaf audiences, compare to the original?

If Beethoven had been a painter instead of a composer and went blind instead of deaf, do you think he would have _painted_ the Ninth Symphony?

Are Classical Music forums, like the very music they talk about, useless?

What do you think Beethoven, Schubert, and Brahms thought about Furtwangler's conducting?

Please help me, I have to know before I select an instrument to study in my school music program: Which instrument makes the best lover?

Mark Twain famously remarked that Wagner's music is better than it sounds. What other composers share in this quality?

NEW POLL: SONNET CLV (who joined this Forum on May 30, 2014) received his 1000th "like" (August 10) on this Classical Music Forum. And though he sincerely thanks all those who supplied votes of appreciation, does this hallmark actually (1) indicate that the polling buttons, including the LIKE button, at CMF absolutely do not work, or possibly even produce opposite results to those actually voted for, (2) prove that you can't trust anyone on the CMF boards to tell the truth, (3) testify to just how delusional and out of touch with reality classical music fans really are, (4) mean that he, SONNET CLV, who is very appreciative but who may have been played for a patsy, now has to pay for the drinks at all future CMF meetings, or (5) Other?*

*SONNET CLV would vote for "Other", hopeful that the "likes" he receives are indicative of appreciation Forum fans have for his modest contributions to this site. SONNET meanwhile appreciates all those who read his posts. Thank you for a fine welcome over the course of these two plus months. It's been fun.


----------



## hpowders

I have been watching with amusement at the reactions of a few posters to my thread titles and how some would want to debate me on their absurdity.

I am simply posting ideas for threads in the spirit of what we are supposed to be doing here, stupid thread ideas.

Why anyone would assume the dumb ideas I've posted for discussion here are anywhere close to my own views is absurd.

I hope those particular posters would soon have an epiphany and actually *"GET IT"!!!*


----------



## arpeggio

hpowders said:


> I have been watching with amusement at the reactions of a few posters to my thread titles and how some would want to debate me on their absurdity.
> 
> I am simply posting ideas for threads in the spirit of what we are supposed to be doing here, stupid thread ideas.
> 
> Why anyone would assume the dumb ideas I've posted for discussion here are anywhere close to my own views is absurd.


This has become one of my favorite threads here.

I am jealous that all I could come up with is just one good one.

I just hope that the ones who do not get it mess it up.


----------



## Vesteralen

Poll: What kind of poster do you most admire?
- short and pithy
- witty
- grumpy
- long and discursive
- long and technical
- friendly
- nasty
- silk screen


----------



## SeptimalTritone

I prefer self-indulgent dissertations.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

My favourite poll choices are never listed in TC polls. For instance, my favourite answer in the 'poster' poll above would be 'propaganda poster'.

What favourite poll choices do other TC members have? Please list your favourites from 1 to 5.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

In your opinion, who's the most redundant, repetitive and redundant composer in your opinion?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Johann Sebastian Bach's relatives seem pretty repetitive, and many are probably redundant!


----------



## hpowders

Was Debussy's musical style directly influenced by the preponderance of the intoxicating fragrances of French perfume?

List some musical examples and the French perfumes that inspired Debussy to write them.


----------



## Haydn man

hpowders said:


> Was Debussy's musical style directly influenced by the preponderance of the intoxicating fragrances of French perfume?
> 
> List some musical examples and the French perfumes that inspired Debussy to write them.


That famous bed time drink Cocoa was invented in France by the perfumer Chanel who also named a fragrance after it. This I believe was the inspiration for the Nocturnes written by Debussy. Unfortunately these were declared illegal due to their extreme hypnotic potency and destroyed when the first audience to hear them did not awaken for 12 hours.


----------



## hpowders

Haydn was to Mozart as Bruckner was to Mahler. Discuss with appropriate musical examples and recommended recordings.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new here. If Stalin never existed, would Van Cliburn still have won the Tchaikovsky Piano Competition in 1958?


----------



## hpowders

If the North Koreans composed a magnificent symphony by committee, would you buy different versions of it to see which one you liked best?


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

hpowders said:


> Haydn was to Mozart as Bruckner was to Mahler. Discuss with appropriate musical examples and recommended recordings.


I like that - discuss with 'appropriate' musical examples  - hpowders, your posts are getting more and more 'in your face' .


----------



## hpowders

If anti-depressant drugs were available to Tchaikovsky, would he have been just another minor Russian composer?


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

hpowders said:


> If anti-depressant drugs were available to Tchaikovsky, would he have been a minor composer?


No, he would've been a major composer, since anti-depressants make you HAPPY, hence Major -- get it?? 

And now for a stupid thread idea: Hitting the note - how do you hit the piano key right? Tell me the answer, I don't know! Discuss at great length.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

What did Schoenberg have against numbers that aren't 12? I mean, what does 12 got that 4, 22, or 43 ain't got? 

Respond only with answers that are divisible by 4, 3, or 6.


----------



## hpowders

If digital timepieces were available in Haydn's time, would the "Clock" symphony have had a different second movement?


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

some pretty sick thread suggestions here. I'm liking this. And now for another addition:

Who would win in a 12 round boxing match - Mendelssohn or Wagner? Vote based purely on musical merit. Start NOW.


----------



## hpowders

A musical travel tour advertises that one of the highlights would be visiting Mozart's grave.
Would you go? Explain.


----------



## Mahlerian

HaydnBearstheClock said:


> Who would win in a 12 round boxing match - Mendelssohn or Wagner? Vote based purely on musical merit. Start NOW.


Well, who has the better wedding march?


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

Mahlerian said:


> Well, who has the better wedding march?


Both sick good as far as I'm concerned - fight has to be repeated.

Who would Haydn have supported - Obama or Putin? What would he have said? Use an exact quotation please.

Another one: if you put Rossini together with Vivaldi's nuns, and Vivaldi amongst Rossini's extravagant victuals, what would end up happening?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Hi, I'm new here. I wanted to ask advice from your members on suitable music for a wedding. We've been super-lucky that one of our friends, a classical pianist, has agreed to play for us.

My favourite classical music is Chopin's Piano Sonata No. 2. I thought the lovely 'march' movement would be perfect, but my fiancee won't agree - she says it's 'depressing'.

My other piano favourites are Beethoven's Piano Sonata in A flat, Op 26 - I love the slow movement - and the Liszt Sonata in B minor. Do you think they would be more suitable?

Please help as my fiancee's not talking to me until this is decided. Thanks.


----------



## Ingélou

How many medieval music manuscripts have not survived the ravages of time?

Would you demand your money back if the wrong notes played by a community orchestra exceeded 10% of the programme?

Is Locatelli's Caprice in reality a coded knitting pattern?


----------



## Taggart

Bach's crab canon - is this your favourite seafood music?

Why is Beethoven's fugue so grosse?

If you play the Rite of Spring backwards why does it sound like Vivaldi's Concerto No. 3 in F major, Op. 8, RV 293 ("L'autunno")?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

If you could go back in time and persuade Beethoven to write down his 10th Symphony, would you take it back to the present and pass it off as your own composition? Or would you give Ludwig the credit?


----------



## Vesteralen

Since many long thread titles get cut off on the "New Posts" menu:


Classical confusion: Should I or should I not get Mo

Need some recommendations. Like to try out some new Schu

Hi! I'm new here. Should I take the time to get into Bra


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Vesteralen said:


> Since many long thread titles get cut off on the "New Posts" menu:
> 
> Hi! I'm new here. Should I take the time to get into Bra


or:

Hi! I'm new here. Should I make more effort to get into Bed


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Poll: According to musicologist Susan McClary, "The point of recapitulation in the first movement of the Ninth is one of the most horrifying moments in music, as the carefully prepared cadence is frustrated, damming up energy which finally explodes in the throttling murderous rage of a rapist incapable of attaining release." Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Nothing more, nothing less.

If this topic upsets you in any way, then please kindly ignore this thread. It's a straightforward question, so please let's not get involved in useless discussions about semantics. Pure and simple.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

SeptimalTritone said:


> Poll: According to musicologist Susan McClary, "The point of recapitulation in the first movement of the Ninth is one of the most horrifying moments in music, as the carefully prepared cadence is frustrated, damming up energy which finally explodes in the throttling murderous rage of a rapist incapable of attaining release." Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Nothing more, nothing less.
> 
> If this topic upsets you in any way, then please kindly ignore this thread. It's a straightforward question, so please let's not get involved in useless discussions about semantics. Pure and simple.


Haha, I disagree.

I also disagree with this statement too: "_The Ninth Symphony is probably our most compelling articulation in music of the contradictory impulses that have organized patriarchal culture since the Enlightenment_" nor do I think that Beethoven's music is "_phallic_" or "_hegemonic_".

A Feminist reading of Beethoven's 9th symphony accusing it of containing imagery of rape and hegemonic patriarchal oppression?! What did I just read right now?! 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_McClary


----------



## KenOC

Who decides what's classical music and what's not?

Actually, I'd really like to know the answer.


----------



## SONNET CLV

KenOC said:


> Who decides what's classical music and what's not?


I believe they are posters on this very Forum, from what I've read here over the past couple of months.


----------



## KenOC

SONNET CLV said:


> I believe they are posters on this very Forum, from what I've read here over the past couple of months.


Well, yeah, I was going to name names but...didn't. :lol:


----------



## arpeggio

Ingélou said:


> Would you demand your money back if the wrong notes played by a community orchestra exceeded 10% of the programme?


I take it you have heard one of the orchestras I play with on You Tube.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Rehearsal improvements through hands-on faith-healing"


----------



## brianvds

TurnaboutVox said:


> If you could go back in time and persuade Beethoven to write down his 10th Symphony, would you take it back to the present and pass it off as your own composition? Or would you give Ludwig the credit?


I'd use the principles of quantum physics and come pretend the symphony is mine in two alternate universes: one in which Beethoven never existed, and our own. That way I could compare the reception and see if Beethoven's actual existence makes a differences to how people perceive such music.


----------



## SimonNZ

"When they're handing out bouquets at the end of a concert is it okay if I go up and give flowers to the second violinist I've got a huge crush on?"


----------



## Ingélou

Vesteralen said:


> Since many long thread titles get cut off on the "New Posts" menu:
> 
> Classical confusion: Should I or should I not get Mo
> 
> Need some recommendations. Like to try out some new Schu
> 
> Hi! I'm new here. Should I take the time to get into Bra


This reminds me of when, not long after I joined TC, I posted a thread entitled 'How long is your concentration?' (appeared as  'How long is your') and got a few suggestive replies.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Composer Guestbook - Sir Francis Frederick Brelius-Walliams

This English composer is very obscure, but I think his music is fantastic, standing comparison with the best. 

For instance, his Symphonic poem 'Whimsy (for string orchestra)' easily outdoes Schoenberg's later Chamber Symphonies in chromaticism and adventurous harmonisation. For masterful brevity and concision, his '4 indeterminate pieces for three violas' are the equal of, or surpass, even Webern's op. 5 '5 movements for string quartet'. 

Brelius-Walliams' ballet score 'Capriccio Inglese' (sadly never completed) is far more radical than Stravinsky's 'Firebird' and was intended to be his piece de resistance, if his career had turned out more fortunately.

His song cycle "Oh how lovely thou art, English Rose' transcends the work of his countryman Vaughan-Williams, and as for his (as yet unperformed) 'Cantata Absurdum', you will not find anything more breathtakingly beautiful in the the works of Benjamin Britten.

My favourite, though is his 'Orotundation', a concerto for mandolin and orchestra in all but name, which prefigures Debussy in his use of the whole-tone scale and parallel chords, leaving the more famous French composer to come a pale second. 

I don't actually have many of his works recorded (he has been unfairly neglected by the record companies) but I do think it would be unfair if Uncle Frank's music was forgotten. Please write in his TC Guestbook if you agree. (Did I mention before that I am his nephew and sole beneficiary?)


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

TurnAboutVox, that's some good stuff.

Let me try: 1789 authentic Mozart wig for sale - complete with intricate, musical-style adornments 'à la Mozart' - includes notes from 'Leck mich am Arsch', the composer's celebrated canon. Important mention: the wig was actually worn by Mozart, although only for a brief period of 30 minutes, after which he decided to trash it, claiming 'it stinks like my belly-bottocks!'. Our trusted companions from 'back in the day', luckily, recuperated the wig and restored it to original glory. And now, this wig, and the music it could potentially inspire in YOUR budding musical brain, could be yours for all eternity. Up for sale now, bidding starts at 500,000 bucks - bring your family, your dogs, etc. - it'll be a fantastic event! Who knows - maybe the next musical genius is YOU!


----------



## PetrB

KenOC said:


> Who decides what's classical music and what's not?
> 
> Actually, I'd really like to know the answer.


An exclusive and highly elitist cabal of the cognoscenti of the musical world -- musicians, academic musicians, more musicians -- who constantly disdain, to their deepest capacity of feeling, the plebes.

This is not a secret, I suppose.

_But I'm funnin' ya... just feeding that plebe conspiracy belef / paranoia thingie which always seem, uh, so always hungry -- because it seems to thrill some so._


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> Composer Guestbook - Sir Francis Frederick Brelius-Walliams
> 
> This English composer is very obscure, but I think his music is fantastic, standing comparison with the best.


Dude, this is effin brilliant -- and _right on the money,_ so to speak


----------



## SimonNZ

"The Beta-Blocker Doping Scandal: Silenced Witnesses Finally Speak Out"


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "The Beta-Blocker Doping Scandal: Silenced Witnesses Finally Speak Out"


*"Richter seen taking Beta-Blockers, slugged down with Vodka straight from the bottle."*
...Film at Eleven.


----------



## brianvds

Had Beethoven been Greek, and he took beta blockers, he would have been known as Eethoven.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

*Poll:* Which conductor makes the funniest or most awkward cringe-worthy faces whilst conducting? Use YouTube video evidence to support your claim.

A - Gustav Mahler
B - Richard Wagner
C - Michael Umlauf
D - Hector Berlioz
E - Mariss Jansons


----------



## brianvds

Inspired by the "Classical music and genocide" thread:

Which composer looks the most like a vampire?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

brianvds said:


> Inspired by the "Classical music and genocide" thread:
> 
> Which composer looks the most like a vampire?


----------



## brianvds

My vote would go for Bartok, who even hails from the right part of the world.


----------



## KenOC

Should composers be punished for bad works? And who decides?


----------



## KenOC

brianvds said:


> Which composer looks the most like a vampire?


Maybe him? Oh, he's not a composer. Never mind.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Dispelling Concert Hall Black-Tie Snob Image With Compulsory Nudism"


----------



## Polyphemus

SimonNZ said:


> "Dispelling Concert Hall Black-Tie Snob Image With Compulsory Nudism"


Fat people should be consigned to a mosh pit and patrons with a constant cough should be administered with a sleeping pill (fast acting). Patrons who fail to turn off their mobile phones should have them surgically implanted where the sun don't shine.


----------



## TresPicos

KenOC said:


> Should composers be punished for bad works? And who decides?


And what should the punishment be? And how can it be effected posthumously?

Too many classical works go unpunished! If a composer can publish bad music, and then nothing happens, he will never learn!


----------



## Cosmos

Mozart wrote 14 Italian Operas: Did he hate his own national roots?


----------



## millionrainbows

Radames said:


> If a Hitler symphony was discovered would you listen to it?


Yes, but only if James Levine conducted it with the Israeli Symphony Orchestra.


----------



## millionrainbows

Wagner: The Movie, starring Carl Maldin as Wagner...










Rachmaninoff: The Movie, starring Lee Marvin...


----------



## millionrainbows

Debussy: Vague Tonality As The Result of Vague Sexuality

If Schoenberg had been a member of the Men's Hair Club, would it have changed his music?

Why don't we have long Wagner operas on Labor Day, instead of the Jerry Lewis Telethon?

The secret of Schoenberg's musical intelligence: that big vein on the side of his head

Roger Sessions: The Movie, starring Drew Carey


----------



## hpowders

Hi. I am in the Master of Music Program at Curtis. Could anyone here identify this piece of music? I have to know by Wednesday.


----------



## hpowders

Hi. I'm new to TC. Has atonality ever been discussed here yet?


----------



## SimonNZ

"All Scat Versions Of Wagner's Operas?"


----------



## Morimur

Composers who (reportedly) suffered from bad BO and the women who loved them.

Wagner: German midget, doo-doo head or giant headed demon of the apocalypse?


----------



## Posie

*Dissapointment!*

I took a class on the history of western music and the teacher never talked about Hank Williams!


----------



## SimonNZ

"When will they add a 'Classical Idol' to the Idol franchise, so that we may determine the great opera stars of the future?"


----------



## echo

was this the first hip hopera ?


----------



## Morimur

echo said:


> was this the first hip hopera ?


My ears haven been murdered... Violently.


----------



## echo

and it goes on and on with the same melody


----------



## SimonNZ

"If Hildegard were alive today would she be, like, totally hot?"


----------



## brianvds

marinasabina said:


> I took a class on the history of western music and the teacher never talked about Hank Williams!


I asked Hank Williams, "How lonely does it get?"
Hank Williams hasn't answered yet,
but I hear him coughing
all night long
a hundred floors above me
in the Tower of Song

--Leonard Cohen


----------



## hpowders

Not trying to be controversial, but, was Richard Wagner like the first Nazi? Please discuss with relevant musical examples.
Please hurry! My report on this for Juilliard is due this Tuesday!


----------



## Posie

If you prefer Siegmunds Liebeslied over Isoldes Liebestod, does that mean you have repressed incestuous tendencies?


----------



## Marschallin Blair

marinasabina said:


> If you prefer Siegmunds Liebeslied over Isoldes Liebestod, does that mean you have repressed incestuous tendencies?


No, but I_ would _say that it means that you have unrealized, transgressional ones.

Huge heels and higher hair is always a great start.


----------



## Blancrocher

*So-So Maurizio*

Ok, everyone: I think it's time we all had a handy compendium of missed notes by the pianist Maurizio Pollini. After hours of thought, I've come up with the following list to start us off:

But please, for the purposes of this thread, ignore the humming.


----------



## Morimur

*En Garde!*

*György "The Vampire" Ligeti vs. Igor "The Vulture" Stravinsky*

_Who's **** reigns supreme?_


----------



## Posie

Marschallin Blair said:


> No, but I_ would _say that it means that you have unrealized, transgressional ones.
> 
> Huge heels and higher hair is always a great start.


??? Assuming you are a man. Otherwise, that went over my head.


----------



## mirepoix

Do you think members of an orchestra should always wear hats when they perform?
If so, should they have the freedom to choose which hat? Or should the decision rest with the conductor (and should he have the biggest hat? Maybe with sound activated lights?) or should it be a corporate/sponsorship thing - you know, like NASCAR baseball hats?
And if a chapeau is indeed to be the order of the day, should it be based on a ranking system; the concertmaster wears fine and noble attire upon their head, all the way down to the violists who wear those little plastic novelty hats with elastic under their chins?


----------



## PetrB

Blancrocher said:


> *So-So Maurizio*
> 
> Ok, everyone: I think it's time we all had a handy compendium of missed notes by the pianist Maurizio Pollini. After hours of thought, I've come up with the following list to start us off:
> 
> But please, for the purposes of this thread, ignore the humming.


List of wrong notes for Pollini = a drop in the bucket compared to Arthur Rubinstein 

But, how about, "_Who was the Liszt of wrong notes?_"
(and... What's on second, I Don't Know is on third.)


----------



## Marschallin Blair

marinasabina said:


> ??? Assuming you are a man. Otherwise, that went over my head.


Women can do drag too. It's called being a _Div-a_.


----------



## millionrainbows

Scholarly articles:

Irregular Measure Structure in the Piano Sonatas of Mozart and in the Songs of Hank Williams

Thematic Similarities in Scheherazade and the Dune Soundtrack

Star Wars and The Planets: Holst meets Brahms

The Effects of Serialism on Corn Growth

Cosmic Singularities, Black Holes, and Cage's 4'33"


----------



## hpowders

If I hate Bruckner and just found out Sibelius admired Bruckner, should I stop listening to Sibelius? If so, should I dispose of my Sibelius CD's? Please help. I'm confused. Hope these aren't stupid questions. This is my first post on TC and want to make a good impression.


----------



## millionrainbows

Culinary Investigations into music:

Bruckner and Waffles: Better Than Chicken and Waffles?

Schoenberg and Digestion: One Man's Observations

Beethoven: Better with Beef or Porkchops?

My Mozartian Vegetarian Year

Haydn and Potatoes: Variations on Two Great Staples 

Ferneyhough and Exotic Indian Food: Too Spicy For You?

Ligeti and Leftovers: Aleatoric Stews, Soups, and Stocks

Late Penderecki and Traditional Polish Cuisine: A Marriage Made in Heaven


----------



## hpowders

I just bought the complete Mozart keyboard concertos with this dude, Jos van Immerseel and his piano sounds weak and almost out of tune. The orchestra violins sound wiry. Should I adjust the treble or the bass to get it to sound better?
I have a subwoofer. Should I turn it off?


----------



## Posie

hpowders said:


> I just bought the complete Mozart keyboard concertos with this dude, Jos van Immerseel and his piano sounds weak and almost out of tune. The orchestra violins sound wiry. Should I adjust the treble or the bass to get it to sound better?
> I have a subwoofer. Should I turn it off?


This was a hyperventilating 'like'.


----------



## hpowders

I just heard Debussy's La Mer for the first time and I don't hear anything that has to do with motherhood. 
Don't laugh, but the piece actually made me feel a little sea-sick. A little help here! What am I doing wrong? 
Should I just stay away from Impressionism?
I have a very expensive sound system. Am I sitting too close?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Why do you need two people to perform Schubert's Winterreise? Couldn't the pianist just sing along, or the singer just play along? Is it financial cronyism or spreading potential blame or just laziness?


----------



## musicphotogAnimal

Strawberries, Blueberries and Jackfruit: The Delectable _Prepared Piano_.
Sticks, Stones and a Colt .45: The Lethal Prepared Piano Works of John Cage.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Preserving My Stradivarius: Smoking or Pickling? (Brine or Vinegar?)"


----------



## brianvds

musicphotogAnimal said:


> Strawberries, Blueberries and Jackfruit: The Delectable _Prepared Piano_.
> Sticks, Stones and a Colt .45: The Lethal Prepared Piano Works of John Cage.


The prepared piano: Sticks and stones may break my tones, but erasers will never hurt me.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new on TC and listened to some Mozart, the piano concerto #24 in c minor, the g minor string quintet and the a minor piano sonata. They actually sounded pretty good to me. So, why are they referred to as "minor Mozart"? By the way, I will be taking the Curtis piano entrance audition next month and am glad to be here on TC!


----------



## hpowders

Hello, my friend told me this is a good place to get free research for a music dissertation. My subject is "Bartok and the Bela Lugosi Connection". Looking forward to your comprehensive input. I'm at Peabody, by the way.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

hpowders said:


> Hello, my friend told me this is a good place to get free research for a music dissertation. My subject is "Bartok and the Bela Lugosi Connection". Looking forward to your comprehensive input. I'm at Peabody, by the way.


Haha! I think hpowders deserves a spot in the "Stupid Thread Ideas" Hall of Fame.

Give me your student ID and password and I'll turn in the dissertation for you, you can count on me. Can I fax it to them? I only have a typewriter.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new on TC. I was wondering. How did the German people of Beethoven's time know early from middle to late Beethoven pieces? Did he perhaps announce them as such? Maybe the newspapers let the people know? Hope this wasn't dumb.


----------



## hpowders

I love requiems and masses, but why are they considered to be minor works? I see many of these requiems and masses are listed as d minor and c minor a lot. Some of them last two hours. That's not minor where I come from. Please discuss. Glad to be on TC!


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> I love requiems and masses, but why are they considered to be minor works? I see many of these requiems and masses are listed as d minor and c minor a lot. Some of them last two hours. That's not minor where I come from. Please discuss. Glad to be on TC!


Yeah--even Mozart couldn't pull off a major requiem. Though perhaps if he'd had a bit more time.


----------



## aleazk

Posted in the Today's Composers forum:

My friend is of non-caucasian ancestry, so I told him that he can't choose classical music composer as a career. My question is: is there any intermediate thing for these non-western, non-caucasian people in classical music composition?

PS: I really need help, my friend is really desperate. My brother told me that he saw him yesterday and that he was wearing blue contact lenses (!).


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> "Why do you need two people to perform Schubert's Winterreise? Couldn't the pianist just sing along, or the singer just play along? Is it financial cronyism or spreading potential blame or just laziness?


Yeah, if Elton John and Billy Joel can do it, why not this Glenn Gould dude? Oh, wait...


----------



## hpowders

I was dismayed when I received my set of Mendelssohn string quartets to find six of them. Shouldn't they have been called the Mendelssohn sextets? I like the music, but this chamber music stuff is confusing. Please clarify.


----------



## hpowders

I have a theory that atonalism was simply developed to take the pressure off of composers who were very psyched by the shadow of Beethoven. This way they didn't have to compete and be compared to Him. So, what do you think?


(hpowders in a rare semi-serious mood)


----------



## Serge

Bach, Mozart, Beethoven. I thought there were no composers after Beethoven. And yeah, by the way, did anybody ever live up?


----------



## Posie

*Soap-Opera-Like Opera Plots*

Some of the plots I've noticed to resemble those of soap-operas are...

La Traviata

Carmen

der Ring des Nibelungen

Otello


----------



## Itullian

marinasabina said:


> Some of the plots I've noticed to resemble those of soap-operas are...
> 
> La Traviata
> 
> Carmen
> 
> der Ring des Nibelungen
> 
> Otello


I'd love to see the Ring as a soap opera. :lol:


----------



## DiesIraeCX

*Poll*: Which geographic region produced the most danceable dances?

- Hungary
- Slavonia
- North Dakota

Support your choice with empirically proven, peer-reviewed evidence. Thx.

[HR][/HR]

Hey Dvořák, is your first name Antonin or Anton? Make up your darn mind!


----------



## SimonNZ

"The Flouncing Thread: Have Your Histrionic Exit Graded And Critiqued. Multiple Efforts Welcomed."


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Bruckner got very restless when listening to a Haydn symphony because it was much too short?
I read this in Penthouse. Is that good for music stories?


----------



## hpowders

Someone told me that the NY Philharmonic uses big guns exclusively made by the Pachelbel Cannon Company when performing Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. Is this true? They must be really high quality, I guess. I was going to ask my professor at Juilliard about this, but I found this site, so here I am!!


----------



## hpowders

Hello. I want to fast-track to a top 5 US Orchestra position in maybe 5 years? Should I begin studying the clarinet, oboe or viola? I would study around 3 intensive hours a day. I'm really psyched!
Any input is appreciated!


----------



## hpowders

I see this dude on TC says he has like 5 different sets of the Mendelssohn quartets. Dumb, right? All 5 sets have the same music!! He should have stopped at one!! Ha! Ha! Why on earth would he do that?
Please discuss!


----------



## DiesIraeCX

hpowders said:


> I see this dude on TC says he has like 5 different sets of the Mendelssohn quartets. Dumb, right? All 5 sets have the same music!! He should have stopped at one!! Ha! Ha! Why on earth would he do that?
> Please discuss!


I hear there's another joker on this forum who's got 13 different recordings of Beethoven's 9th symphony. Talk about dumb! Discuss in no less than 250 words!


----------



## hpowders

I read that people in classical orchestras have studied their instruments for a long time. So why do they need a conductor? They already know the music. I will use the best answers for my Master of Music dissertation at Curtis in orchestral performance. So make 'em good!!


----------



## hpowders

I seem to like classical music straight without drugs or alcohol, while I'm listening. Is that normal? I want to do it right! Thanks for the help!


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> I seem to like classical music straight without drugs or alcohol, while I'm listening. Is that normal? I want to do it right! Thanks for the help!


What you suggested isn't enough. You need heroin. Then you'll be normal!


----------



## WorthyYeti

What farm animal noise would make the best addition to an orchestra?


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> I'm new on TC. I was wondering. How did the German people of Beethoven's time know early from middle to late Beethoven pieces? Did he perhaps announce them as such? Maybe the newspapers let the people know? Hope this wasn't dumb.


Wasn't the late Beethoven too dead to compose anything anyway? More like decomposing?



hpowders said:


> I have a theory that atonalism was simply developed to take the pressure off of composers who were very psyched by the shadow of Beethoven. This way they didn't have to compete and be compared to Him. So, what do you think? (hpowders in a rare semi-serious mood)


Perhaps it wasn't just Beethoven. Fact is, there are only so many melodies, and by the early 20th century, all the good ones had been taken. Classical music became a rather grim affair, thanks to the unbridled greed of composers like Schubert and Borodin.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> "The Flouncing Thread: Have Your Histrionic Exit Graded And Critiqued. Multiple Efforts Welcomed."


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


----------



## Skilmarilion

Given how forward-looking Beethoven's late period is, is it reasonable to predict that his 10th Symphony would have sounded much like this?


----------



## hpowders

We are having a heated debate here at Curtis. Was Mendelssohn a relatively conservative straight arrow or was he a party guy who drank freely? I take the latter position and I offer as proof (no pun intended) the fact that he wrote a Scotch Symphony. No finer musical tribute to this whisky exists. Please debate and discuss.


----------



## millionrainbows

Listening to Schoenberg Tonally: Notes of an Exhausted Burnout

Bach's Unaccompanied Violin Sonatas: Notes of an Exhausted Burnout

Wagner's Ring Cycle: Notes of an Exhausted Burnout

Why Air Traffic Controllers Are Repelled By Aleatoric Music

Stockhausen and UFOs: Notes of an Abducted Listener


----------



## hpowders

Why would Haydn write a symphony containing a musical surprise and call it "The Surprise"? Aren't the best surprises kept secret?
Please discuss.


----------



## hpowders

Poll. I am doing a dissertation for my masters in music history on Schubert's Unfinished Symphony at Juilliard, and according to Wikileaks, it seems to be a very popular composition. I think I'm in over my head and I was wondering, if I hand it in as "Unfinished", would my professor see the irony and the humor and give me a passing grade? Please vote. I will do whatever you guys say. Thanks!


----------



## SimonNZ

"Flash-Mob Concert-Coughing: We'll Alert You When To Start With A Specific Ringtone"


----------



## Posie

Would it be uncouth to bring a bag of glow-sticks to Nabucco and hand them out for Va pensiero?


----------



## brianvds

How many degrees separate Beethoven from Kevin Bacon?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_Degrees_of_Kevin_Bacon


----------



## KenOC

brianvds said:


> How many degrees separate Beethoven from Kevin Bacon?


One. Beethoven once watched a Kevin Bacon movie. He didn't like it much, but it counts!


----------



## brianvds

KenOC said:


> One. Beethoven once watched a Kevin Bacon movie. He didn't like it much, but it counts!


Or perhaps Mr. Bacon watched "Immortal Beloved"? Or worked with an actor that worked in a film that used Beethoven in the soundtrack?

Whatever the case may be, I have a feeling there is a close connection between Bacon and Beethoven. 

On to more thread titles:

Quantum fluctuations, stochastic processes and the aleatory music of John Cage

Schoenberg revisited: Create your own 45372-tone music with microtones

Liszt your favourite Mephisto waltzes

_Moto perpetuo_ and the second law of thermodynamics


----------



## omega

Giant poll thread:
*Which symphony by Leif Segerstram is your favorite?*
- #1
- #2
...
- #279 _"Surfing on Thoughts & Visions experienced during a mental mezzomarathon of music..."_
- #280 _"Feeling the Healing surfings in Clouds of Inspirative Iridescence streaming from Grandiose Grandchildren... "in the days After..." (with gratitude resonance vibrating eternally)"_

Furthermore, has his likeness with Father Christmas influenced your choice?
Please discuss by analysing the different recordings you own.


----------



## millionrainbows

Beethoven's Ninth, Masonic Connections, and the Liberal Conspiracy to See All Men as Brothers, Thus Opening the Door to Illegal Immigrants and Higher Taxes

Beethoven's Ninth, Schiller's_ Ode To Joy,_ and the Roots of Communism

Chopin, Nationalism, and the Polish Pickle Conspiracy

Mahler, Liberal Religious Views, and the Demise of Prayer In Schools


----------



## Guest

hey... ^^ that's not a stupid idea... I would love to know if any of Segerstam's symphonies are actually worthwhile.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new here. In perusing some old threads, I notice some of you indicate that you listen 3 to 5 hours a day. Is that including the time it takes to remove the shrink wrap off of new CD's figured in? Sometimes that can take a long time. I was wondering how you count this.


----------



## aleazk

brianvds said:


> How many degrees separate Beethoven from Kevin Bacon?
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_Degrees_of_Kevin_Bacon


This is the original: Erdős number

Erdős-Bacon number


----------



## brianvds

aleazk said:


> This is the original: Erdős number
> 
> Erdős-Bacon number


Beethoven was notoriously inept at math, so I don't expect his Erdös number to be very low.


----------



## hpowders

I'm studying clarinet at Curtis and my teacher told me I will need some good reeds and a very fine embouchure.
I looked all over the campus music store and I found the reeds but it looks like they were all out of embouchures.
Please discuss why embouchures are so rare and perhaps where I can buy one and what types there are.


----------



## brianvds

Mick Jagger is famous for his embouchure, but I have a feeling it is either not for sale, or too expensive for a student.


----------



## hpowders

Did Beethoven stop composing at nine symphonies because he was afraid of going past the number nine like Mahler was?
Please discuss with significant comparative musical and psychological examples.


----------



## hpowders

It's been said that Bruckner tried to re-compose Beethoven's Ninth symphony 8 or 9 times. So if there was no Beethoven, what could Bruckner's symphonies have sounded like? Meyerbeer, perhaps? Please discuss.


----------



## hpowders

Was it true that Bela Bartok's marriage to Marta Ziegler was a very short one because Bartok kept playing recordings of his Music For Strings, Percussion and Celesta in the house and it scared the hell out of her, so she divorced him?
Can anyone on TC verify this? Please discuss.


----------



## KenOC

brianvds said:


> Beethoven was notoriously inept at math, so I don't expect his Erdös number to be very low.


Beethoven *claimed* to be bad at math, but grew quite canny when negotiating with publishers.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Was it true that Bela Bartok's marriage to Marta Ziegler was a very short one because Bartok kept playing recordings of his Music For Strings, Percussion and Celesta in the house and it scared the hell out of her, so she divorced him?
> Can anyone on TC verify this? Please discuss.


She could still handle that piece. It was when he began toying with Bluebeard's Castle that she _really_ became concerned.


----------



## Frei aber froh

This post is deleted


----------



## hpowders

I was listening to selections from Prokofiev's Lt. Kijé and a lot of the music sounded downright sardonic. Yet it's called sweet?
I'm a bit confused. Why do they call it Lt. Kijé sweet? This is my first post on TC and hope it's a good one!


----------



## hpowders

I'm new to classical music. I listened to La Mer last night and closed my eyes and tried to imagine stampeding female horses, but I couldn't. Please don't laugh, but it sounded more like a dialogue of wind and waves. Maybe I played it too loud?
I need some tips from the experts on TC as to what I'm doing wrong.


----------



## millionrainbows

Mahler's Mammoth Symphonies: A Favorite in Prisons

Was Anton Webern influenced by Twilight Zone music?

Webern's Minimal Oeuvre and the Austrian Wartime Paper Shortage: Coincidence?

New Evidence Suggests that Debussy Secretly Wore Women's Underwear

Wagner's use of midgets in Der Ring


----------



## millionrainbows

*Anton Webern: The Movie, *starring Gary Burghoff (Radar O'Reilly) as Webern


----------



## millionrainbows

Milton Babbitt: The Movie, starring Elmer Fudd as Milton Babbitt


----------



## brianvds

The Second Viennese School: A Game of Tones


----------



## Guest

This is a real thread in a classical guitar forum: "Why can't animals play guitar?"


----------



## brianvds

Kontrapunctus said:


> This is a real thread in a classical guitar forum: "Why can't animals play guitar?"


Actually they can. Just not very well.


----------



## Radames

Kontrapunctus said:


> This is a real thread in a classical guitar forum: "Why can't animals play guitar?"


Why aren't there any classical pieces written for guitar 4 hands?


----------



## hpowders

I was just convicted of income tax evasion. Since I love classical music, does anyone know which penal institutions in the US feature classical music? If I have to serve 16 years, I want Bach and Mozart with me. Thanks for all the help. Please hurry.


----------



## shangoyal

hpowders said:


> I was just convicted of income tax evasion. Since I love classical music, does anyone know which penal institutions in the US feature classical music? If I have to serve 16 years, I want Bach and Mozart with me. Thanks for all the help. Please hurry.


You might be soon convicted for exceeding the character limit for a TC thread name!


----------



## shangoyal

What did Woody Allen mean when he said: "My brain - that's my second favourite organ."?


----------



## aleazk

shangoyal said:


> What did Woody Allen mean when he said: "My brain - that's my second favourite organ."?


That after Silbermann's organs, his favorites are the sounds of his brain.


----------



## echo

is classical for twerking or merely the vigorous shaking of the buttocks ?


----------



## shangoyal

aleazk said:


> That after Silbermann's organs, his favorites are the sounds of his brain.


That's too stupid even for this thread!


----------



## aleazk

hpowders said:


> I was just convicted of income tax evasion. Since I love classical music, does anyone know which penal institutions in the US feature classical music? If I have to serve 16 years, I want Bach and Mozart with me. Thanks for all the help. Please hurry.


Here! and the guards seem easy to kill too!


----------



## Radames

hpowders said:


> I was just convicted of income tax evasion. Since I love classical music, does anyone know which penal institutions in the US feature classical music? If I have to serve 16 years, I want Bach and Mozart with me. Thanks for all the help. Please hurry.


Actually the Me2 Orchestra in VT has musicians go around to prisons. http://me2orchestra.org/2012/08/20/music-in-the-prisons-reflections-from-the-performers/


----------



## TurnaboutVox

millionrainbows said:


> Milton Babbitt: The Movie, starring Elmer Fudd as Milton Babbitt


This would be Milton 'Wabbitt', would it not?


----------



## SimonNZ

"How To Play The Violincello From The Violin Position Without Getting The Big Spikey Thing Through Your Neck"


----------



## Serge

All out of thread ideas, in case you didn't notice. Sorry.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Using The Ouija Board In Moments Of Writers Block"


----------



## SONNET CLV

Help me identify a piece of music. I heard it at the Legion, played by a polka band, but I know it was a classical piece. Does anyone out there know what it was? It sounded sort of like Schubert or Bach or Montovani. But I really can't narrow it down more precisely.

Montovani's greatest classical hits.

Was Glenn Gould's strange old low-sitting chair magical? Or, would Gould have played even better had he sat on the floor?

I've noticed in Mahler scores (of which I have several in my score collection) that the composer tends to start each work with clef signs and end every work with a double bar line. Is this a pattern of some unique philosophical-religious musical aestheticism? Or was Mahler just lazy and stuck in a rut?

If you play two great symphonies simultaneously, will the resultant sound be twice as great as either of the symphonies? And does this work equally well with three, four, five, six, etc. symphonies?

Why do Russian composers have such long names?

We all know great "viola jokes". But, does anyone know any great "viola da gamba jokes"?

Can someone explain to me the difference between a guitar cord and a guitar chord? I want to learn everything about the guitar, but now I'm confused.

Did the composer named Mawler ever wrestle with the WWE?

Why does the conductor wave a stick around in the air? Does that change the sound of the music that's flying through the air, and is that what makes a symphony sound the way it does?

AGREE or DISAGREE: An ostinato would sound more interesting if the notes and/or rhythm constantly changed throughout the piece rather than simply stayed the same?

Is it true that the people who clap throughout Karlheinz Stockhausen's _Momente _are paid to do so - because the composer was worried that the music is so weird no one would applaud it on their own?

Do you have to be a composer to write music, or can anybody do it?


----------



## brianvds

Beethoven: The first composer of death metal


----------



## Posie

brianvds said:


> Beethoven: The first composer of death metal


Actually, that was Schubert.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

> Originally Posted by brianvds View Post
> 
> Beethoven: The first composer of death metal
> 
> marinasabina: Actually, that was Schubert.


I hear the death. Where's the metal?


----------



## Posie

Marschallin Blair said:


> I hear the death. Where's the metal?


It's in the horseshoes.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

> Originally Posted by Marschallin Blair View Post
> 
> I hear the death. Where's the metal?
> 
> marinasabina: It's in the horseshoes.


"Horseshoes?"

(glazed-doughnut-facial-expression blonde-moment over here)


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Milton Wabbit composing at the piano (an early work)


----------



## Ingélou

Given the popularity & prolific posting, will TC soon have to open Stupid Thread Ideas Vol II?

Why aren't there more baroque composers whose name begins with N?

Are the composers who have surviving portraits likely to be more skilled, statistically speaking?

The word _harpsichord_ comes from the Latin _harpichordium_: so why does it have an 's'? And why doesn't it look remotely like a harp?

Bagpipes are found in many nations of the world. Which variety of bagpipe would be most suitable for playing the eine kleine nachtmusik?

Why, when the noise of a kazoo can be replicated more cheaply by comb-and-tissue paper, hasn't someone written a classical march for this instrument?


----------



## Posie

Non-Classical Music Forum: Hello everyone. I'm doing a research project on Borderline Personality Disorder in parents. Are there any metal fans who grew up in a functional household?


----------



## hpowders

Some of my favorite composers like Aaron Copland and Leonard Bernstein were gay. Has anyone straight on TC tried being gay to try appreciating their music more? To feel what they felt? I was thinking of trying this. Thanks for the help.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

marinasabina said:


> Non-Classical Music Forum: Hello everyone. I'm doing a research project on Borderline Personality Disorder in parents. Are there any metal fans who grew up in a functional household?


I don't know.

Which personality am I addressing?


----------



## hpowders

I just watched that Twilight Zone episode where ugliness is beauty and vice versa on this other planet. So I was thinking, would those people be deeply into atonal music and be repelled by Beethoven and Mozart? Please discuss.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> I just watched that Twilight Zone episode where ugliness is beauty and vice versa on this other planet. So I was thinking, would those people be deeply into atonal music and be repelled by Beethoven and Mozart? Please discuss.


There would be a monument to death metal in Salzburg, while parents and teachers would warn kids about the dangers of listening to Palestrina (especially when played backwards!)


----------



## Blancrocher

*What has Jenő Jandó not yet Accomplished?*

Hey everyone! I thought it might be useful to have a list of all the classical piano composers Jeno Jando hasn't recorded!

1. John Dillon
2. Frederic Rzewski
3. Shoen...
4. Wait a minute...
5. Nope

Please add to the list!

Items will be deleted as Naxos releases future albums, for your convenience.


----------



## Woodduck

Blancrocher said:


> *What has Jenő Jandó not yet Accomplished?*
> 
> Hey everyone! I thought it might be useful to have a list of all the classical piano composers Jeno Jando hasn't recorded!
> 
> 1. John Dillon
> 2. Frederic Rzewski
> 3. Shoen...
> 4. Wait a minute...
> 5. Nope
> 
> Please add to the list!
> 
> Items will be deleted as Naxos releases future albums, for your convenience.


Billy Joel. Really.


----------



## millionrainbows

TurnaboutVox said:


> This would be Milton 'Wabbitt', would it not?


Ha Ha!

"Be vewwy, vewwy quiet...I'm hunting down an all-interval tone row permutation that will preserve its symmetry under inversion!"


----------



## Posie

Marschallin Blair said:


> I don't know.
> 
> Which personality am I addressing?


Split Personality and Borderline are two different breeds of the animal. If you can remember that infamous scene from the film Mommy Dearest, "HOW many times have I told you NO wire hangers ... EVEEEUUUR!!!" That's pretty much what it looks/sounds like.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

marinasabina said:


> Split Personality and Borderline are two different breeds of the animal. If you can remember that infamous scene from the film Mommy Dearest, "HOW many times have I told you NO wire hangers ... EVEEEUUUR!!!" That's pretty much what it looks/sounds like.


Well, that was Joan on a _good_ day. But I see your point._ ;D_


----------



## hpowders

I'm new to classical music. I know it's very intellectual, intimidating stuff. So, how do I prepare myself for this? Are there mind-expanding exercises I should do first? Books I should read? Maybe study a musical instrument first? Thanks for the help.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> I'm new to classical music. I know it's very intellectual, intimidating stuff. So, how do I prepare myself for this? Are there mind-expanding exercises I should do first? Books I should read? Maybe study a musical instrument first? Thanks for the help.


There is a device similar to those hand-grip exercisers (the two handles on a spring coil you squeeze together), which fits over the head like earphones -- it is for exercising and strengthening the ears, which I strongly advise prior any serious attempts to listen to classical music.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new to classical music. I hear the music is very long. Is there a way to prepare myself for sitting for a long time?
Do any of you serious listeners ever get hemorrhoids from sitting so long?
I want to do this right. This is my first post on TC, by the way.


----------



## echo

Death metal and classical comparison


----------



## brianvds

echo said:


> Death metal and classical comparison


Hey, wait a minute, why does this one sound familiar?


----------



## SimonNZ

What's the word you're meant to yell out when you think you've recognised the mystery theme at a concert of The Enigma Variations? Or do you just scream out the answer? And how many yelled guesses is each audience member allowed?


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

I'm new to classical. I was trying to find the right time to listen to the Moonlight sonata ... you know, that famous one. So ... I was trying to get the time of the month right, you know - when the moon is full, so I can listen to it. But then I can only listen to the piece during the final week of the month or so and I have to wait a whole month again - and I like the piece so much! Can you give me some advice?


----------



## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> What's the word you're meant to yell out when you think you've recognised the mystery theme at a concert of The Enigma Variations? Or do you just scream out the answer? And how many yelled guesses is each audience member allowed?


Now, now, this is Elgar, not an Ed Wood movie...


----------



## brianvds

Physics and chamber music: the connection with string theory

Catalogue des grenouilles - a newly discovered work by Messiaen

Anton LaVey as classical composer

How many stupid thread titles would Satie have invented, had he been a member here?
("Thee thread titles in the shape of a pear" comes to mind)


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Can someone link me to Beethoven's official Twitter page? I can't find it.


----------



## PetrB

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Can someone link me to Beethoven's official Twitter page? I can't find it.


There is a link to that on his facebook page, "I, Luigi!"


----------



## stevens

Why hashtags in sheetmusic?

I have just learned J.S Bachs "Wohltemperierte klavier" book 1 and 2 and can now play it very very well, but can someone tell me what all those hashtags in the score stands for?


----------



## BurningDesire

A thread where classical fans don't feel the need to be dismissive and insulting towards other styles of music that they really have little understanding of in the first place. Oh wait, I suppose that would be an idealistic thread idea rather than a stupid one. Woops.


----------



## SimonNZ

"How Many Bricks Of Heroin Can Be Hidden In The Double-Basses Of A Touring Orchestra?"


----------



## echo

SimonNZ said:


> "How Many Bricks Of Heroin Can Be Hidden In The Double-Basses Of A Touring Orchestra?"


do we know each other ?


----------



## SimonNZ

BurningDesire said:


> A thread where classical fans don't feel the need to be dismissive and insulting towards other styles of music that they really have little understanding of in the first place. Oh wait, I suppose that would be an idealistic thread idea rather than a stupid one. Woops.


That's been the repeatedly stated policy of the Current Listening thread. And on the whole so far so good.


----------



## PetrB

echo said:


> do we know each other ?


You may have passed each other, like ships in the night, at one or more customs inspections in various airports of the world


----------



## BurningDesire

SimonNZ said:


> That's been the repeatedly stated policy of the Current Listening thread. And on the whole so far so good.


Oh, a thread simply talking about what classical music we're listening to and will likely never have somebody bringing up something outside the western classical tradition. Nice example! Point proven to me! 10/10.


----------



## SimonNZ

BurningDesire said:


> Oh, a thread simply talking about what classical music we're listening to and will likely never have somebody bringing up something outside the western classical tradition. Nice example! Point proven to me! 10/10.


What? You do realize this is a forum largely devoted to the western classical tradition, and that at least half of all the threads are people talking about what they've been listening to...right? And besides: you wanted the name of one thread, so i named one - not an unobtainable "ideal" for polite non-judgemental exchange, then.

now back to your regular programming:


----------



## Lukecash12

"Between the sheets."


----------



## SimonNZ

"Reporting Cases Of Inappropriate Touching You've Witnessed In Ballet Performances"


----------



## SimonNZ

"Family Tickets To The Opera: You're willfully exposing your children to all this lust and murder? What the hell kind of parent are you?"


----------



## hpowders

I'm new to classical music. I play it but I don't feel anything towards the music. Can you folks teach me how to feel it?
Thanks for the help.


----------



## hpowders

I've been lurking on TC and admire the astonishing Pithy Poster. Are there any classical pieces that are pithy? I don't feel like listening for an hour or two. Thanks for the input.


----------



## hpowders

I don't respond well to Haydn, Mozart and Beethoven. Why are they considered great? Please keep your replies short. I don't have all day. Thanks!


----------



## dgee

SimonNZ said:


> "Family Tickets To The Opera: You're willfully exposing your children to all this lust and murder? What the hell kind of parent are you?"


Ugh. That was easily the creepiest thread on TC ever -shudder- nawm saying?

http://www.talkclassical.com/33369-please-help-do-you.html


----------



## Ingélou

hpowders said:


> I'm new to classical music. I play it but I don't feel anything towards the music. Can you folks teach me how to feel it?
> Thanks for the help.


Hi, I'm new to classical music. But I have a problem - every time I listen to some, or play my piano, I feel awash with the emotions that I'm pretty sure that the composers must have originally intended. But my piano teacher says she's fed up of wiping the keys after every piece. So please, can you folks teach me how *not* to feel it?
Thanks for the help.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

BurningDesire said:


> Oh, a thread simply talking about what classical music we're listening to and will likely never have somebody bringing up something outside the western classical tradition. Nice example! Point proven to me! 10/10.


for a really silly thread, you could have one where the OP actually reads other people's opinions

points to you 0/10!


----------



## hpowders

I'm new here, but thanks for this thread. I was about to post three new threads, but notice they were all posted here, so to avoid looking stupid, I won't post them "out there". Just an announcement of gratitude; not a thread title.


----------



## echo

who composed this?


----------



## Headphone Hermit

hpowders said:


> I don't respond well to Haydn, Mozart and Beethoven. Why are they considered great? Please keep your replies short. I don't have all day. Thanks!


15 characters minumum - sigh!


----------



## SimonNZ

Ingélou said:


> Hi, I'm new to classical music. But I have a problem - every time I listen to some, or play my piano, I feel awash with the emotions that I'm pretty sure that the composers must have originally intended. But my piano teacher says she's fed up of wiping the keys after every piece. So please, can you folks teach me how *not* to feel it?
> Thanks for the help.


^Head to that dark alley behind the music schools or near the musicians entrances of concert halls and score some of those hardcore beta-blockers.

Also: had no idea there was recently an opera thread like the one I just mentioned - but on the other hand it wouldn't surprise me if half of these stupid ideas have been done in earnest.


----------



## brianvds

Ingélou said:


> Hi, I'm new to classical music. But I have a problem - every time I listen to some, or play my piano, I feel awash with the emotions that I'm pretty sure that the composers must have originally intended. But my piano teacher says she's fed up of wiping the keys after every piece. So please, can you folks teach me how *not* to feel it?
> Thanks for the help.


Good thing you don't play porn movie soundtracks...


----------



## millionrainbows

Who Had the Biggest Unit in Classical Music History? by MetalMusicFan

Death Metal: The Greatest Artistic Achievement of Mankind by MetalMusicFan

Rachmaninoff: You Know What They Say About Big Hands: Newly Discovered Italian Vacation Photographs


----------



## Blancrocher

millionrainbows said:


> Rachmaninoff: You Know What They Say About Big Hands: Newly Discovered Italian Vacation Photographs


And here I thought for all these years that people were calling him the greatest _pianist_ of all time.

This makes more sense, I suppose.


----------



## millionrainbows

Blancrocher said:


> And here I thought for all these years that people were calling him the greatest _pianist_ of all time.
> 
> This makes more sense, I suppose.


They say he could stretch a full tenth _(hint, hint)_.


----------



## Blancrocher

*A POLL*

Hi everyone! I assume all of you, like me, have been following "The Classical Music Project" here on TC. So my question is: on what page did this long-lived thread jump the shark?

A. 10
B. 100
C. 1000
D. 10000
E. Other


----------



## hpowders

I heard this Death Metal piece and by coincidence I was listening to Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet a few days later and it was like the same piece!! My question is who quoted whom? Could Prokofiev have been a serious Death Metal fan?


----------



## Lukecash12

"Mozart was a plagiarizer!"

Does that ring a bell anyone? What was that guy's name, herman or something? I'm sure Stlukesguild remembers


----------



## Guest

Are there any classical composers with cool names such as Dick Hyman?


----------



## brianvds

Kontrapunctus said:


> Are there any classical composers with cool names such as Dick Hyman?


How about Marcel Poot?


----------



## Lukecash12

Kontrapunctus said:


> Are there any classical composers with cool names such as Dick Hyman?


Dunno about that, but I tell you guys the truth: the name of the doctor that fixed my brother's butt is Dr. Weiner. When he told me who was performing the surgery I told him that he would never hear the end of it. We'll be sitting down to a football game and some of the guys will get in an argument, then someone will say "oh shut up Jared, you let that guy stick his tool in your butt". Really, no one rips on you more mercilessly than your friends at a football game.


----------



## KenOC

brianvds said:


> How about Marcel Poot?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Attracting The Younger Generation To Classical Concerts By Having All Programme Notes, Supertitles And Signage in TxtSpk"


----------



## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> "Attracting The Younger Generation To Classical Concerts By Having All Programme Notes, Supertitles And Signage in TxtSpk"


Nice idea!

Bthvn symph 9 1st mvmnt is gr8!


----------



## SimonNZ

brianvds said:


> Nice idea!
> 
> Bthvn symph 9 1st mvmnt is gr8!


Quite right: no reason weighty critical tomes shouldn't also be written that way from now on! Double-plus good! (oh wait, that's something else)

-

"Should violinists from warm climates add extra vibrato when performing works by Scandinavian composers to replicate the shivering they take as given?"


----------



## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> Quite right: no reason weighty critical tomes shouldn't also be written that way from now on! Double-plus good! (oh wait, that's something else)
> 
> -
> 
> "Should violinists from warm climates add extra vibrato when performing works by Scandinavian composers to replicate the shivering they take as given?"


Perhaps the opposite: it's vibrato that adds warmth to the instrument's sound, so perhaps they should play Sibelius without it.


----------



## Lukecash12

"Let's talk about TC members we don't like."


----------



## SimonNZ

"Intollerant, Unthinking, Anti-Pharisee Racism Embedded In Western Religious Music"


----------



## Lukecash12

SimonNZ said:


> "Intollerant, Unthinking, Anti-Pharisee Racism Embedded In Western Religious Music"


"Religious people are stupid. Why don't we talk about the FSM?"

How many other places has that kind of thread bored us to tears, I wonder?

Edit: Btw, no offense guys but I've never felt like contributing to the Classical Music Project. I've tried to follow it and I just didn't like the idea of the thread, it started getting boring because there is a wall of different compositions you have to follow. Now it's to the point where sometimes I have to listen to music for thirty minutes to an hour or more if I even want to form an opinion of everything there. How many of you guys have stopped contributing to it too?


----------



## SimonNZ

Lukecash12 said:


> Edit: Btw, no offense guys but I've never felt like contributing to the Classical Music Project. I've tried to follow it and I just didn't like the idea of the thread, it started getting boring because there is a wall of different compositions you have to follow. Now it's to the point where sometimes I have to listen to music for thirty minutes to an hour or more if I even want to form an opinion of everything there. How many of you guys have stopped contributing to it too?


That's kind of a non-sequitur. How did you jump to that?

And it seems like that thread would throw up lots of interesting new works for pre-filtered discovery, and I'd definitely be following it if I weren't already following a bunch of different leads at the same time (along with just keeping up with the acquisitions). No reason why the people who enjoy doing it can't enjoy doing it.


----------



## Lukecash12

SimonNZ said:


> That's kind of a non-sequitur. How did you jump to that?
> 
> And it seems like that thread would throw up lots of interesting new works for pre-filtered discovery, and I'd definitely be following it if I weren't already following a bunch of different leads at the same time (along with just keeping up with the acquisitions). No reason why the people who enjoy doing it can't enjoy doing it.


I agree with you 100%. Was just wondering how many other people found it tedious. It feels like every time I come back to it there is some homework to do.


----------



## SimonNZ

But homework is boring reinforcement - this would be discovery and often rapture or excitement!


----------



## Lukecash12

SimonNZ said:


> But homework is boring reinforcement - this would be discovery and often rapture or excitement!


You're right, my feelings aren't very fair. They just are what they are and I only visit that thread occasionally. I get hit by a wall of text and I have to form an opinion right then on everything there. Christ, there are tons of pieces I've heard at some point, and if you mentioned them to me it would still take me some time to remember them and form an opinion, if I could even remember it. Only so much time in the day, you know?


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

SimonNZ said:


> "Intollerant, Unthinking, Anti-Pharisee Racism Embedded In Western Religious Music"


Haha, that's a good one. It's 'all so Eurocentric' and evil, what we listen to! That kind of stuff gets quite annoying after a while.


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Poll*

Hi Everyone! I've been listening to classical music for 3 years now, and have been getting a lot better at it! At this point, it takes me about 20 minutes to listen to Beethoven's Emperor Concerto, and I've whittled Feldman's 2nd String Quartet down to about 3 hours. I'm curious about some of the more experienced listeners here.

How long does it take you to this recording of Mahler's 9th?






A. 3 hours
B. 1:22:35
C. 50 minutes
D. Half an hour
E. Other


----------



## hpowders

My oven timer went out and I needed to make bread timed for 12 minutes in the oven. So I played Chopin's Minute Waltz 12 times, but the bread came out completely burnt. Please discuss why this happened.


----------



## hpowders

I was thinking, if you got Schönberg totally plastered, would he then be prepared to compose a tonal masterpiece?


----------



## Morimur

hpowders said:


> I was thinking, if you got Schönberg totally plastered, would he then be prepared to compose a tonal masterpiece?


Maybe... right after walking over to Stravinsky's place, (they lived in the same neighborhood in Hollywood) beating the living crap out of him, picking him off of the floor by his collar and screaming into his face "AM I NOT MERCIFUL!!!???". :lol:


----------



## hpowders

^^^^^(As an aside, Southern California was a magnet for the great composers and performers of the 1940's-1950's. Heifetz was teaching master classes at USC. Taking that literally, he must have been teaching himself! Piatigorsky taught there too.)


----------



## hpowders

I read that Jascha Heifetz was a master violinist and that he taught a master class at USC. Does that mean he was self-taught?
Please discuss.


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

I was trying to play Haydn's Trumpet Concerto the other day but I failed. I used a baroque trumpet. Discuss why this happened.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Hi!

I'd like to know much more about the great world of Classical Music, but it's a bit confusing sometimes. Someone told me to look out for 'The celebrated Mazurka of Schubert'. Well, I love Schubert, and I've hunted high and low for this great piece, but I can't find it. Do any of you experts know where I could find a good recording? 

Oh and by the way, what does "Embryons desséchés" mean?

Thanks everyone!!


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> Hi!
> 
> I'd like to know much more about the great world of Classical Music, but it's a bit confusing sometimes. Someone told me to look out for 'The celebrated Mazurka of Schubert'. Well, I love Schubert, and I've hunted high and low for this great piece, but I can't find it. Do any of you experts know where I could find a good recording?
> 
> Oh and by the way, what does "Embryons desséchés" mean?
> 
> Thanks everyone!!


The names of pieces in classical music can be confusing, since they appear translated from the original language of the title into many other European languages.

_*Embryons desséchés*_ is a French translation of the German _*Der berühmte Mazurka von Schubert*_, which in English is _*The celebrated Mazurka of Schubert*._


----------



## TurnaboutVox

PetrB said:


> _*Embryons desséchés*_ is a French translation of the German _*Der berühmte Mazurka von Schubert*_, which in English is, _*The celebrated Mazurka of Schubert*._


I see! Thanks so much. So I guess the Mazurka von Schubert was a relative of Franz Schubert's then, a Marquis or somebody celebrated, only translated into German? I have so much to learn on this site!!!


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> I see! Thanks so much. So I guess the Mazurka von Schubert was a relative of Franz Schubert's then, a Marquis or somebody celebrated, only translated into German? I have so much to learn on this site!!!


Yes! _Mazurka_ is a portmanteau pet name for a duke or count who really counts when it comes to patronizing the arts, i.e. _*Mazur*_ is but a slight alteration of German for 'Major' (as in a very big deal), and _*-ka*_ being an abbreviation of _*Kahuna.*_...

altogether, *Major Kahuna = Big Kahuna.*

You catch on fast!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

PetrB said:


> altogether, *Major Kahuna = Big Kahuna.*
> 
> You catch on fast!


Why, I do believe you're teasing me now, you wicked man! Are all the experts here so naughty?!


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> Why, I do believe you're teasing me now, you wicked man! Are all the experts here so naughty?!


I'm as serious as a heart attack.


----------



## hpowders

HaydnBearstheClock said:


> I was trying to play Haydn's Trumpet Concerto the other day but I failed. I used a baroque trumpet. Discuss why this happened.


Can you send me a pic of your embouchure? I may be able to help.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Can you send me a pic of your embouchure? I may be able to help.


Why do you people bother in this age of technology. Just use the "trumpet" setting on an electronic keyboard...


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

hpowders said:


> Can you send me a pic of your embouchure? I may be able to help.


I'm sorry, I can't. I broke my camera using my baroque trumpet.


----------



## hpowders

HaydnBearstheClock said:


> I'm sorry, I can't. I broke my camera using my baroque trumpet.


I'll give your post a "high F"!!


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Why do you people bother in this age of technology. Just use the "trumpet" setting on an electronic keyboard...


I can't make any money that way. You don't think I was going to give a professional embouchure opinion for $0.00 do you?

Mick Jagger....now there's a beautiful embouchure!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why do we so rarely see basso profundos singing the Queen of the Night aria?


----------



## SONNET CLV

How does a conductor know when to start a piece of music?

If Elvis had been a classical composer, would we have a _Hound Dog Symphony _today?

What ever happened to the violon part of the cello? Why doesn't anybody ever play it?

Since the piano has 88 keys, why do composers write for only 24 -- 12 major and 12 minor?

Is it possible to use Pachelbel's cannon in Tchaikovsky's _1812 Overture_? Or is that cannon too _broke_ to use for a 19th century romantic piece?

Is the G clef modeled after a yoga position? Or vice versa?

How come they have grand pianos but not grand other instruments?

If Philip Glass is a minimalist, why does he write so much music? Shouldn't he settle for only one or two small pieces to his name?

Can you write a fugue with only one hand? Or one part, or one voice, or whatever you write them with?

Does music written with the left hand sound different from music written with the right hand?

Is there any correlation between people who like classical music and those whose families pulled their ears on each and every birthday?

Is there any correlation between people with a high threshold of ear pain (because they grew up in families who pulled their ears on each and every birthday) and those who can withstand the sonic assaults of, say, Stockhausen? (And does this perhaps explain why Lope de Aguirre wears a helmet?)

*NEW GAME*: Just how much does one's avatar reveal about our posters? Match the CMF poster to the following statements:
(1)	Probably loved Benji movies growing up. (Probably still does.)
(2)	Understands it's not easy being green … or slimy and slithery.
(3)	Probably doesn't realize just how repetitious the music of John Adams is (since he obviously doesn't get the point from his own many posts).
(4)	Believes a Viking smiles about as often as Stockhausen writes a hummable melody in C major.
(5)	Thinks Pagliacci is a character in a Wagner opera.
(6)	Is forever looking over his shoulder, probably watching out for errant Forum posters who are upset about having been banned.
(7)	Is happy to have a shell to _hide in _… and from some of his post responses, should be.
(8)	Patiently awaiting the opportunity to play the "barks" in Piston's _Incredible Flautist_.
(9)	Secretly wishes to have 22 kids with Maria Shriver.
(10)	Actually believes that Piet Mondrian was a good artist.
(11)	Chose his Rorschach test as the pattern for his home's wallpaper, too.
(12)	Favorite opera is Candide, which he'd likely sing if only his _voice_ could _turn round_.
(13)	Plays a demure viol, rather than a mean one, and with never a discord, certainly.


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why do we so rarely see basso profundos singing the Queen of the Night aria?


Or coloratura sopranos sing the basso profundo part in Rachmaninoff's Vespers?


----------



## brianvds

SONNET CLV said:


> Is it possible to use Pachelbel's cannon in Tchaikovsky's _1812 Overture_? Or is that cannon too _broke_ to use for a 19th century romantic piece?


It's too Broque, I think.



> Is the G clef modeled after a yoga position? Or vice versa?


It's modeled after an illustration from the Kama Sutra, which my good taste prevents me from posting in a family forum.



> How come they have grand pianos but not grand other instruments?


You forget the grand violin? Also known as the double bass?



> Does music written with the left hand sound different from music written with the right hand?


Yes. That is in fact the main difference between Mozart and Beethoven.


----------



## aleazk

Tonality, frequency ratios, 'God', and more crackpot stuff!

Ridiculously technical discussions about time travel in a classical music forum: your input here!

Metal and classical music: we are brothers.

(in Today's composers) My 10[SUP]26[/SUP] 'Classical Symphony'!

(in Today's composers) My first classical piece! (praise only, otherwise: fu*k off)


----------



## KenOC

aleazk said:


> Ridiculously technical discussions about time travel in a classical music forum: your input here!


In fact I, Throgor, am from a far future time and can verify that time travel exists and works well. But I have misplaced the instruction manual for my time machine. No problem, thought I, it's certainly on the Internet! But I can't find it there. Not at all sure why! Fortunately you have McDonald's, which has been outlawed in my world since the Food Nazi Rebellion, so I am happy for the nonce.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SONNET CLV said:


> *NEW GAME*: Just how much does one's avatar reveal about our posters? Match the CMF poster to the following statements:
> (1)	Probably loved Benji movies growing up. (Probably still does.)
> (2)	Understands it's not easy being green … or slimy and slithery.
> (3)	Probably doesn't realize just how repetitious the music of John Adams is (since he obviously doesn't get the point from his own many posts).
> (4)	Believes a Viking smiles about as often as Stockhausen writes a hummable melody in C major.
> (5)	Thinks Pagliacci is a character in a Wagner opera.
> (6)	Is forever looking over his shoulder, probably watching out for errant Forum posters who are upset about having been banned.
> (7)	Is happy to have a shell to _hide in _… and from some of his post responses, should be.
> (8)	Patiently awaiting the opportunity to play the "barks" in Piston's _Incredible Flautist_.
> (9)	Secretly wishes to have 22 kids with Maria Shriver.
> (10)	Actually believes that Piet Mondrian was a good artist.
> (11)	Chose his Rorschach test as the pattern for his home's wallpaper, too.
> (12)	Favorite opera is Candide, which he'd likely sing if only his _voice_ could _turn round_.
> (13)	Plays a demure viol, rather than a mean one, and with never a discord, certainly.


Touché, Monsieur sans Avatar!

PS still working on 5, 7-9


----------



## Lukecash12

*The* stupid idea.


----------



## hpowders

If fugues are so boring, why do composers even bother to write them?


----------



## SONNET CLV

SONNET CLV said:


> *NEW GAME*: Just how much does one's avatar reveal about our posters? Match the CMF poster to the following statements:
> (1)	Probably loved Benji movies growing up. (Probably still does.)
> (2)	Understands it's not easy being green … or slimy and slithery.
> (3)	Probably doesn't realize just how repetitious the music of John Adams is (since he obviously doesn't get the point from his own many posts).
> (4)	Believes a Viking smiles about as often as Stockhausen writes a hummable melody in C major.
> (5)	Thinks Pagliacci is a character in a Wagner opera.
> (6)	Is forever looking over his shoulder, probably watching out for errant Forum posters who are upset about having been banned.
> (7)	Is happy to have a shell to _hide in _… and from some of his post responses, should be.
> (8)	Patiently awaiting the opportunity to play the "barks" in Piston's _Incredible Flautist_.
> (9)	Secretly wishes to have 22 kids with Maria Shriver.
> (10)	Actually believes that Piet Mondrian was a good artist.
> (11)	Chose his Rorschach test as the pattern for his home's wallpaper, too.
> (12)	Favorite opera is Candide, which he'd likely sing if only his _voice_ could _turn round_.
> (13)	Plays a demure viol, rather than a mean one, and with never a discord, certainly.





TurnaboutVox said:


> Touché, Monsieur sans Avatar!
> 
> PS still working on 5, 7-9


HINT: All identified in the above list have posted on this particular thread. (I have that info on good authority.)


----------



## SONNET CLV

KenOC said:


> In fact I, Throgor, am from a far future time and can verify that time travel exists and works well. *But I have misplaced the instruction manual for my time machine. No problem, thought I, it's certainly on the Internet! But I can't find it there.* Not at all sure why! Fortunately you have McDonald's, which has been outlawed in my world since the Food Nazi Rebellion, so I am happy for the nonce.


Perhaps this link is what you want: http://www.comodo.com/support/user-guides/Comodo_Time_Machine_User_Guide.pdf

If that Time Machine User-Guide doesn't work, you can just flush it down the old comodo.


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

hpowders said:


> If fugues are so boring, why do composers even bother to write them?


Because if they don't, the fugue will catch them in their dreams! Muahaha!


----------



## KenOC

(dupe post)....................................................


----------



## KenOC

SONNET CLV said:


> Perhaps this link is what you want: http://www.comodo.com/support/user-guides/Comodo_Time_Machine_User_Guide.pdf.


Many thanks. Tried it in my time machine and got the blue screen of death. Oh well...


----------



## hpowders

Who's the best composer? I want to start my listening right!


----------



## hpowders

I'm new to classical music and setting up a sound system. In what room does classical sound best?


----------



## dgee

hpowders said:


> Who's the best composer? I want to start my listening right!


Claude Debussy. You need to start over


----------



## hpowders

I'm a musical illiterate. Do you think getting a top of the line sound system will help make up for the deficiency?


----------



## hpowders

Have any musical illiterates turned their lives around and became great composers?


----------



## hpowders

I admit I am a musical illiterate. I was wondering, is there a diagnostic test to see if I am improving, if I listen a lot?


----------



## hpowders

I listened to some Bartok the other day. Wow! Who said atonal music wasn't accessible?


----------



## SimonNZ

Is This The Only Classical Album I'll Ever Need?:










Or Is It This One?:










Why Did HMV Bring Out All That Other Stuff If They Think All I Need Is On That One Disc?


----------



## hpowders

Have I wasted my life listening to all sorts of classical music when rumor has it there's an album that condenses all that in only a little over two hours? Should I simply stop what I'm doing and buy the album? I hear it's only $3 online with $18 delivery charge.
Thanks for the help!


----------



## hpowders

My friends don't like music. Is music useless? Am I just wasting my time?


----------



## Blancrocher

Hello to the TC community--new member here. My name is Lang Lang. I'm a concert pianist, and I've made many recordings of classical repertoire. If any of you have heard me play, I'd love to hear your opinions!


----------



## hpowders

Could atonal music be heaven's choice?


----------



## SimonNZ

Blancrocher said:


> Hello to the TC community--new member here. My name is Lang Lang. I'm a concert pianist, and I've made many recordings of classical repertoire. If any of you have heard me play, I'd love to hear your opinions!


_one of the best ones so far_


----------



## SONNET CLV

hpowders said:


> Who's the best composer? I want to start my listening right!


Recommendation. There's a feller named Aaron Copland. You might give him a try.

Here's a picture of the feller. Not a very good one, I must suggest.









He tends to look more scholarly -- and more _trustworthy_ -- with spectacles and beret.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> Could atonal music be heaven's choice?


After exploring Schoenberg's music in detail this week and hearing most of his more famous works: a resounding yes!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

The Sexting thread - post your favourite composer and performer pictures here


----------



## KenOC

TurnaboutVox said:


> The Sexting thread - post your favourite composer and performer pictures here


Yo, you want naked composers?

http://www.graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


----------



## TurnaboutVox

KenOC said:


> Yo, you want naked composers?
> 
> http://www.graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


I'm impressed by how quickly you came up with that, Throgor. Favourite site on your planet?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

hpowders said:


> I'm a musical illiterate. Do you think getting a top of the line sound system will help make up for the deficiency?


Yes, and I have one I can let you have for less than half what it cost. Shall we say a round 
US$200 000? I'll ship it to you on receipt...



hpowders said:


> I admit I am a musical illiterate. I was wondering, is there a diagnostic test to see if I am improving, if I listen a lot?


Boy, it's your lucky day! This I also have in stock...


----------



## brianvds

TurnaboutVox said:


> The Sexting thread - post your favourite composer and performer pictures here


If Mozart had a cell phone as teen, he would sexted like crazy.


----------



## ptr

brianvds said:


> If Mozart had a cell phone as teen, he would sexted like crazy.


I fear that he'd mostly be instagraming his bum!

/ptr


----------



## millionrainbows

Snoopy Meets Charles Ives: An Insurance Adventure

The Music of Charles Ives: Yeah! He Blew Up Real Good!

Alban Berg: The Jugendlieder: Early Pre-Morphine Songs

Alban Berg: The Movie, starring Christopher Walken as Berg


----------



## SeptimalTritone

KenOC said:


> Yo, you want naked composers?
> 
> http://www.graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


This is nice, but I wanted to see Unsuk Chin, and even more importantly... Alban Berg.


----------



## hpowders

I'm tired of reading all these opinions; can anyone on TC tell me definitively, were Mozart and Haydn truly friends? Someone here's got to know. Perhaps the Mods???


----------



## hpowders

Guido Cantelli died tragically young. Had he lived, would he have recorded the definitive performances of the Mahler symphonies?


----------



## KenOC

hpowders said:


> I'm tired of reading all these opinions; can anyone on TC tell me definitively, were Mozart and Haydn truly friends? Someone here's got to know. Perhaps the Mods???


They were definitely very good friends. Except during Haydn's Death Metal period, of course.


----------



## ribonucleic

What can be done to remedy the gender imbalance among tuba players?


----------



## brianvds

KenOC said:


> They were definitely very good friends. Except during Haydn's Death Metal period, of course.


What, a single death metal chord in the surprise symphony was enough to Mozart off?



ribonucleic said:


> What can be done to remedy the gender imbalance among tuba players?


Women are so worried about being shaped like a tuba that they can't focus on playing the thing. :devil:


----------



## aleazk

Composers' chamberpots: who had the best one? (Poll and ranking)

Can music be effeminate? (eg., Mozart, Ravel, etc.)

After he killed Webern, what was the reaction of the US soldier when he finally heard his music?

Was Milton Babbitt actually a supercomputer?

Milton Babbitt vs Deep Blue.

Bach's personal life: a 20 voices fugue in stretto.

The symphonic form: classical music's soap operas?

Ok, so, but where I can find Stockhausen's _serious_ music now?

If you had told Gesualdo that his music was atonal noise, he would have killed you?

Scholars find Xenakis' notebooks and his famous 'stochastic' method is finally understood: _suspicions confirmed_.


----------



## PetrB

millionrainbows said:


> Alban Berg: The Movie, starring Christopher Walken as Berg


Someone suggested / requested this some time ago -- I'm a thinkin' it was you


----------



## brianvds

ptr said:


> I fear that he'd mostly be instagraming his bum!
> 
> /ptr


That too, yes. In fact, the very thought of Mozart, aged 15, with cell phone, gives me nightmares.


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> Alban Berg: The Movie, starring Christopher Walken as Berg


I have always wondered who should play the role of Berg in a biopic. Now I know.


----------



## hpowders

I hope this isn't dumb. I have lower back problems and am learning piano. Are the pedals there to help take the pressure off my back? I notice when I depress the pedals with both feet, it takes the pressure off my back.


----------



## Posie

hpowders said:


> I hope this isn't dumb. I have lower back problems and am learning piano. Are the pedals there to help take the pressure off my back? I notice when I depress the pedals with both feet, it takes the pressure off my back.


:lol: Now I have a mental image of a man playing the piano sitting on a big fitness ball.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

How dark do you prefer the caramel in your flan to be? amber or burned? cloying or bitter? hot or chilled?


----------



## hpowders

Why when I blow into my clarinet with mouthpiece don't I produce any sound?


----------



## hpowders

Were too many people listening to classical? Was changing to atonalism a form of crowd control?

Please discuss with relevant musical examples.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Best Chopin Player?*

A. Liszt
B. Chopin

Hi everyone--I've decided it's time to determine once and for all who the best interpreter of Chopin's piano music is: Chopin himself, or his friend Liszt. I know that some of you will want to introduce philosophical quibbles and reservations, such as about what the word "best" means, but please I'd prefer it if you'd just vote in the poll.

I voted Liszt--I find Chopin, while a dignified pianist, to be unpleasantly stiff.


----------



## hpowders

I videotaped a performance of the Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto #1 with my local orchestra and my dog as soloist.
But because the solo part had no rubato, since it was only a dog, I destroyed the tape. Did I do the right thing?


----------



## Lukecash12

hpowders said:


> I videotaped a performance of the Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto #1 with my local orchestra and my dog as soloist.
> But because the solo part had no rubato, since it was only a dog, I destroyed the tape. Did I do the right thing?


No, you could have made a fortune if you sold it. They'd be calling you the next Pavlov.


----------



## ribonucleic

Which lossless audio codec sounds best?


----------



## Mahlerian

ribonucleic said:


> Which lossless audio codec sounds best?


Some audiophiles will give you a lot of FLAC if you deign to disagree with their choice...


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Mahlerian said:


> Some audiophiles will give you a lot of FLAC if you deign to disagree with their choice...


I know, it's like some of them want you to WAV your rights as a "proper" audiophile if you disagree with their choice.


----------



## SONNET CLV

Blancrocher said:


> *Best Chopin Player?*
> 
> A. Liszt
> B. Chopin
> 
> Hi everyone--I've decided it's time to determine once and for all *who the best interpreter of Chopin's piano music is*: Chopin himself, or his friend Liszt. I know that some of you will want to introduce philosophical quibbles and reservations, such as about what the word "best" means, but please I'd prefer it if you'd just vote in the poll.
> 
> I voted Liszt--I find Chopin, while a dignified pianist, to be unpleasantly stiff.


Of course, the real answer to "who the best interpreter of Chopin's piano music is" is ... Liberace!


----------



## hpowders

As an aside: Liberace fooled a lot of mainstream America for many years with his all surface gloss/ all the time.


----------



## PetrB

marinasabina said:


> :lol: Now I have a mental image of a man playing the piano sitting on a big fitness ball.


LOL. I've actually thought to try that


----------



## PetrB

Blancrocher said:


> *Best Chopin Player?*
> 
> A. Liszt
> B. Chopin
> 
> Hi everyone--I've decided it's time to determine once and for all who the best interpreter of Chopin's piano music is: Chopin himself, or his friend Liszt. I know that some of you will want to introduce philosophical quibbles and reservations, such as about what the word "best" means, but please I'd prefer it if you'd just vote in the poll.
> 
> I voted Liszt--I find Chopin, while a dignified pianist, to be unpleasantly stiff.


...as well as the fact that Chopin, notoriously, lacked any power when playing... chalk that up to learning how to play the piano from a violinist!


----------



## Donata

Match the tattoo to the composer.

Your ten favorite triangle solos. 

If you have six bullets and there are four members in a string quartet, do you shoot the violist twice?


----------



## Donata

KenOC said:


> Yo, you want naked composers?
> 
> http://www.graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


Now you can really see what Haydn was hiding! :lol:


----------



## Figleaf

KenOC said:


> Yo, you want naked composers?
> 
> http://www.graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


Seems unfair that some are portrayed as more generously endowed than others. Yes, I had a pretty good look at them all!


----------



## PetrB

Figleaf said:


> Seems unfair that some are portrayed as more generously endowed than others. Yes, I had a pretty good look at them all!


Perhaps "Un-figleaf" would be a better moniker for you?


----------



## Skilmarilion

What is your favourite symphony that was never written?

Bach No. 1 in G major
Schubert No. 10 "Finished"
Dvorak No. 10 "Back to the Old World"
Mahler No. 11 "Symphony of a Million"
Mozart No. 42 "Uranus"
Bruckner No. - 1 "The Negative" [Nowak 1947 edition, 17th revision]
Mendelssohn No. 6 "Jamaican"
Shostakovich No. 16 "Nikita and the year 1962" [For Bass, 2nd violins, brass band and xylophone]


----------



## ribonucleic

Skilmarilion said:


> What is your favourite symphony that was never written?


Beethoven Symphony No. 10 - "What?"
Ives Symphony No. 5 - "Coverage Denied"
Salieri Symphony in F minor - "If I Did It"


----------



## brianvds

Hovhaness Symphony No. 235 - "Oops, I did it again." 
Vaughan Williams Symphony No. 10 - "Told you I'd beat the curse."


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Beethoven destroyed the title page of his third symphony due to a spoiled piece of Napoleon?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Donata said:


> Now you can really see what Haydn was hiding! :lol:





Blancrocher said:


> A poll: "Punish the Pun"
> 
> Now's your chance to try to vote one of the most hackneyed composer-name puns off the forum! One of the following has to go! The pun with the most votes can never be used again--so choose wisely!
> 
> Violators of the prohibition will be suspended.
> 
> Bach/back
> *Haydn/hiding*
> Liszt/list
> Handel/handle
> Britten/Britain
> Crumb/crumb
> 
> n.b. The prohibition does not apply to the author of this thread


Sorry, Donata, there's a penalty for using that pun...


----------



## OperaGeek

hpowders said:


> Is it true that Beethoven destroyed the title page of his third symphony due to a spoiled piece of Napoleon?


Could well be. Personally, I think he just realized that he preferred Tosca, but couldn't dedicate his symphony to her, as her play hadn't been written yet. So the only option was to destroy the whole title thingie.


----------



## aleazk

Your top 1!

Hi, I'm a math student studying Webern and Xenakis at uni. Someone told me that _it's also_ music, so I'm here to learn more about that!

Imagine that Bach or Beethoven were actually gay. How that would have affected the development of their music? (to avoid political scenarios, hypothetical persecutions, etc., suppose _they remained closeted_)

Poll (what do you like more?): Babbitt or hearing a Sudoku?

Poll (preferred intellectual activity): listening to Babbitt or reading about the latest developments in advanced astrophysics?

TC members deathmatch! Today: PetrB vs Mahlerian (you can also make bets!)

Ravel and Debussy: where classical music meets lavender fragrance deodorants.

Schoenberg and Webern: with these new advances, now classical music can finally express the feeling of licking a sandpaper!

The invention of elevators and the sudden appearance of musical Impressionism and Neoclassicism: historical connection?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

aleazk said:


> TC members deathmatch! Today: PetrB vs Mahlerian (you can also make bets!)


:lol: I think it would end in a tie!

Perhaps with a slight edge to Mahlerian if the word _Atonal _were to be used, he would level up into *Super Mahlerian* and slay the mighty beast known as PetrB.








Super Mahlerian


----------



## Mahlerian

DiesIraeVIX said:


> :lol: I think it would end in a tie!
> 
> Perhaps with a slight edge to Mahlerian if the word _Atonal _were to be used, he would level up into *Super Mahlerian* and slay the mighty beast known as PetrB.
> 
> View attachment 50242
> 
> Super Mahlerian


You didn't get the color gradient on the hair right, but close enough...I'll allow it to pass without using my Mod Magic.


----------



## millionrainbows

Oh, where have you gone, Dennis Brain, Dennis Brain

Oh, where have you gone, darling Dennis

You were speeding in your car, now your brain is in a jar

Now you'll never play another Strauss Concerto


----------



## SONNET CLV

millionrainbows said:


> Oh, where have you gone, Dennis Brain, Dennis Brain
> 
> Oh, where have you gone, darling Dennis
> 
> You were speeding in your car, now your brain is in a jar
> 
> Now you'll never play another Strauss Concerto


I can't decide whether to give this a LIKE, or to simply cry. But I must wonder: is there really _another _Strauss Concerto that Dennis Brain could have played and didn't?


----------



## SONNET CLV

What are your top ten favorite minor key codas that appear in minor key minor works by minor composers?
What are your top ten favorite major key codas that appear in minor key minor works by minor composers? 
What are your top ten favorite major key codas that appear in major key minor works by minor composers?
What are your top ten favorite minor key codas that appear in major key minor works by minor composers?
What are your top ten favorite minor key codas that appear in minor key major works by minor composers?
What are your top ten favorite minor key codas that appear in minor key minor works by major composers?
What are your top ten favorite major key codas that appear in minor key major works by minor composers?
What are your top ten favorite major key codas that appear in minor key minor works by major composers?
What are your top ten favorite minor key codas that appear in major key major works by minor composers?
What are your top ten favorite minor key codas that appear in major key minor works by major composers?
What are your top ten favorite major key codas that appear in major key major works by minor composers?
What are your top ten favorite major key codas that appear in major key minor works by major composers?
What are your top ten favorite major key codas that appear in minor key major works by major composers?
What are your top ten favorite minor key codas that appear in minor key major works by major composers?
What are your top ten favorite minor key codas that appear in major key major works by major composers?
What are your top ten favorite major key codas that appear in major key major works by major composers?


----------



## Donata

TurnaboutVox said:


> Sorry, Donata, there's a penalty for using that pun...


I'm always the last one to find out about these things.


----------



## brianvds

Were any composers any good at combinations and permutations?

(Sonnet CLV might know...)


----------



## millionrainbows

Recipes from Composers and Performers:

Milton Babbitt's upside-down cake

Mozart's favorite creampuff

Martha Argerich's super-caffeinated coffee cake

Glenn Gould shares his slow-cooking tips, plus microwave recipes

John Williams: Bland and Comforting Food Recipes


----------



## hpowders

I thought William Schuman was a contemporary of Brahms. So please discuss why his music is so dissonant, from the mid-1800's-sounds like he was far ahead of his time? Please discuss.


----------



## SONNET CLV

brianvds said:


> Were any composers any good at combinations and permutations?
> 
> (Sonnet CLV might know...)


I don't even know what a permutation is! But combinations, yes. Use 'em at the pool hall all the time.


----------



## SONNET CLV

hpowders said:


> I thought William Schuman was a contemporary of Brahms. So please discuss why his music is so dissonant, from the mid-1800's-sounds like he was far ahead of his time? Please discuss.


The answer to that one is simple. That Schuman fellow was mad as a hatter! (Probably from drinking too much Rhenish.) He lived in an insane asylum, I've heard. No wonder his music sounds goofy. He wasn't ahead of his time -- he was out of his mind!


----------



## SONNET CLV

millionrainbows said:


> Recipes from Composers and Performers:
> 
> Milton Babbitt's upside-down cake
> 
> Mozart's favorite creampuff
> 
> Martha Argerich's super-caffeinated coffee cake
> 
> *Glenn Gould shares his slow-cooking tips, plus microwave recipes*John Williams: Bland and Comforting Food Recipes


For some reason, I get this mental picture of Gould, sitting on his special low seated chair, the table top at nose height, peeling potatoes and carrots for his Crock Pot.


----------



## OperaGeek

hpowders said:


> I thought William Schuman was a contemporary of Brahms. So please discuss why his music is so dissonant, from the mid-1800's-sounds like he was far ahead of his time? Please discuss.


Sorry, but you are confusing Bill with Bob. It's an easy mistake to make, however.

You see, Bill and Bob were both composers. They were twins, born in the early 20th century (triplets, actually - the third brother, Billy Bob, is an actor). Bill was quite hip with the times, but Bob got no respect - everyone thought he was just SO yesterday. A chance meeting with an English dude called H. G. something changed Bob's fortunes, though, as H. G. let Bob take his Time Machine for a spin. Bob mistook it for a motorbike and drove the Wells off that thing. Thus, he ended up in the 1800s, where he not only met with success, he also met this cute Clara gal, who was quite Wieck for him. Johnny B. dropped in for a visit, too. Bob decided to live out his days in the 1800s, and the time machine was never seen again.

Incidentally, Bob was studying Bill's first two symphonies at the time, and had the original scores in his backpack - which also ended up in the 1800s. That's why Bill's 1st symphony is actually his 3rd. Trouble with numbers ran in the family, though: Bob's 4th symphony was actually his 1st, while the 3rd was actually the 4th and the 2nd was actually the 3rd. If he had written a 5th, things would have become _really_ confusing.


----------



## hpowders

My boyfriend wants to take me to see Tosca at the Met. But I already saw it in Sarasota. It's like a movie, right? Why see the same thing over again? I already know the ending! I told him, "no". Let me know what y'all think.


----------



## aleazk

Why Bach called his descendancy Bach rather than Hcab?

Is there any arrangement of Perotin's music for an ensemble of classical guitars? (we are desperate for repertoire!)

I tried to dance Piazzolla and tangled my legs!

My definition of music.

Conductors with amputated arms: how do they do it?

My dog likes Schoenberg but I don't. I do not know what else to do, please help!

What's the best of the worst of the second best of Beethoven's catalogue?


----------



## OperaGeek

hpowders said:


> My boyfriend wants to take me to see Tosca at the Met. But I already saw it in Sarasota. It's like a movie, right? Why see the same thing over again? I already know the ending! I told him, "no". Let me know what y'all think.


I say skip it. Not only do you already know the ending, but the whole story is, like, the same as in EVERY rom com out there - you know, the typical boy-meets-girl thing:

Boy escapes, boy hides from other boy, third boy and boy meet, boy hides from both girl and other boy, third boy meets girl, girl loves third boy, third boy gets girl to leave, girl thinks third boy meets other girl but there is no other girl as the other girl is actually boy, third boy hides boy, other boy meets girl, other boy strengthens girl's belief that there is another girl even though there is no other girl as the other girl is actually boy, other boy wants girl and boy and third boy, other boy tortures third boy, girl tells other boy where boy is, boy commits suicide, girl stabs other boy, other boy dies, girl meets third boy again, third boy is shot, third boy dies, girl believes third boy is faking it, girl realizes third boy is actually toast, girl commits suicide. The end. Yawn.

Seen one, seen 'em all. Boooooring. Get your dude to take you to see "Elektra" instead. I hear that's one the whole family can enjoy.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

OperaGeek said:


> Get your dude to take you to see "Elektra" instead. I hear that's one the whole family can enjoy.


Or Oedipus Rex. As they say, "Oedipus, Schmoedipus - who cares? So long as you love your mother!"


----------



## Hmmbug

TurnaboutVox said:


> Or Oedipus Rex. As they say, "Oedipus, Schmoedipus - who cares? So long as you love your mother!"


Here's one take on Oedipus Rex (music starts at 1:58 if you don't want to hear the introduction):


----------



## brianvds

SONNET CLV said:


> For some reason, I get this mental picture of Gould, sitting on his special low seated chair, the table top at nose height, peeling potatoes and carrots for his Crock Pot.


While humming and howling in typical Gould style. 



aleazk said:


> Conductors with amputated arms: how do they do it?


Presumably, Ravel wrote some orchestral pieces that can be conducted with the left arm alone.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Thinking of Ravel and the left hand:
Ravel's Viola Concerto for Open Strings: Discuss


----------



## MrCello

This thread is an infinite resource of entertainment. I wonder which composers would be Internet trolls?


----------



## hpowders

Hey, I'm new here. So what's the average age of the posters here?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Hi. I used my real photo as my avatar. Someone wrote that I look like Copland. I don't see it what do you think?

He looks a lot like Copland

He doesn't look like Copland

He looks a little like Copland

He looks more like Morris Copeland

Who cares, as long as he writes entertaining and pithy posts?


----------



## Antiquarian

Stupid Thread Ideas:

I've been listening to Geovanni Martini's 'Plaisir d'amore', and found it intoxicating. Are there any other Composers named after famous Mixed drinks, and are they any good?

I've been accepted at Juilliard and at Florida Atlantic University with a full scholarship. Which should I choose?

Would listening to music with too many Irregular Rhythmic Groupings cause me to go into Cardiac arrest?

(Sorry if any of these have been repeated, or are variations on a theme, but I am just too lazy to peruse 60+ pages of silly stuff...)


----------



## Radames

hpowders said:


> Were too many people listening to classical? Was changing to atonalism a form of crowd control?
> 
> Please discuss with relevant musical examples.


See: Classical music still effective at dispersing loitering teens



> With all sorts of the funding cuts hitting orchestras during the recent recession, there is still one aspect of classical music that local governments find valuable -- the music's unfailing ability to disperse loitering teenagers from public areas.
> Whether its Handel piped into New York's Port Authority or Tchaikovsky at a public library in London, the sound of classical music is apparently so repellent to teenagers that it sends them scurrying away like frightened mice. Private institutions also find it useful: chains such as McDonald's and 7-Eleven, not to mention countless shopping malls around the world, have relied on classical music to shoo away potentially troublesome kids.
> In the latest example of classical repulsion, the regional transit department in the Portland, Ore., area has been playing orchestral and operatic tunes over speakers at light-rail stations in an attempt to prevent vandalism and other crimes that result from teens having too much free time on their hands.
> At one station, an aria from Bizet's "Carmen" serenaded commuters waiting to board. "There's no one that just hangs around," said one passenger to the Associated Press. Before the music "they wouldn't get on the train, that's how you'd know they were [loitering]."


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> I thought William Schuman was a contemporary of Brahms. So please discuss why his music is so dissonant, from the mid-1800's-sounds like he was far ahead of his time? Please discuss.


I've heard that the dude was crazy; plus, he dressed ahead of his time, in 1950s style suit and tie. He apparently went bald, as well.


----------



## millionrainbows

OperaGeek said:


> Sorry, but you are confusing Bill with Bob. It's an easy mistake to make, however.
> 
> You see, Bill and Bob were both composers. They were twins, born in the early 20th century (triplets, actually - the third brother, Billy Bob, is an actor). Bill was quite hip with the times, but Bob got no respect - everyone thought he was just SO yesterday. A chance meeting with an English dude called H. G. something changed Bob's fortunes, though, as H. G. let Bob take his Time Machine for a spin. Bob mistook it for a motorbike and drove the Wells off that thing. Thus, he ended up in the 1800s, where he not only met with success, he also met this cute Clara gal, who was quite Wieck for him. Johnny B. dropped in for a visit, too. Bob decided to live out his days in the 1800s, and the time machine was never seen again.
> 
> Incidentally, Bob was studying Bill's first two symphonies at the time, and had the original scores in his backpack - which also ended up in the 1800s. That's why Bill's 1st symphony is actually his 3rd. Trouble with numbers ran in the family, though: Bob's 4th symphony was actually his 1st, while the 3rd was actually the 4th and the 2nd was actually the 3rd. If he had written a 5th, things would have become _really_ confusing.


What about Billy Bob Schumann? He was their cousin, I think, down in Georgia.


----------



## millionrainbows

Mister Ed: The Movie, starring Aaron Copland as Mr. Ed


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Mister Ed: The Movie, starring Aaron Copland as Mr. Ed


Perhaps Mr Ed wrote the Red Pony Suite....as an "insider"?


----------



## Kopachris

Antiquarian said:


> "Classical Music and Wine Pairings")


Wait a minute... I think that was one of mine!


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> What about Billy Bob Schumann? He was their cousin, I think, down in Georgia.


Ah yes, that one! He wrote the Appalachian Spring Symphony, right?


----------



## Torkelburger

Composition Contest:
Pick one of the three movements from John Cage's _4'33"_ and write a set of variations on its theme.


----------



## hpowders

Was Tom Hulce as Mozart in Amadeus close to how Mozart actually was?


----------



## hpowders

On his driver's license, was the composer's name Schönberg or Schoenberg? Why one over the other? Discuss.


----------



## Radames

When Weber changed his name to Webern his music got terrible. What happened to him? Did he have a stroke or something?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Wouldn't the second Viennese composer have been someone way earlier than Schoenberg? Or was it the school? Was there only one school in Vienna where everyone went until, um, the 1950s?"


----------



## hpowders

So Berg and Webern must have been sub-par students, otherwise they woulda been admitted to the first Viennese school, no? Discuss, with sub-par musical examples from their compositions.


----------



## jdec

Did Saint-Saens like pigs that much? Or why did he dare to accept to compose Babe's soundtrack?


Justin Bieber and the 2nd Viennese school. A case study.


Which famous soprano would make a great female pornstar? 


Please help me identify this piece I heard the other day, *it goes like this... La la lah- lalilalaaaah- lalalilalah- dada aaaaah (sorry if I was a little out of tune)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Torkelburger said:


> Composition Contest:
> Pick one of the three movements from John Cage's _4'33"_ and write a set of variations on its theme.


Thinking of this:
Which is your favourite movement of 4'33'' and why? Do you think this works best for solo piano or string quartet? What are your thoughts on the a cappella version?
The fun John Cage gave us all when he 'wrote' this.


----------



## ArtMusic

jdec said:


> Justin Bieber and the 2nd Viennese school. A case study.


That's hilarious. Justin might be the third Viennese school.


----------



## brianvds

ArtMusic said:


> That's hilarious. Justin might be the third Viennese school.


He'll have to change his surname to Biebern though.


----------



## hpowders

Why did Bartok write a " Symphony for Orchestra"? Isn't that like, understood?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Hi, classical music lovers.

This is my first (and likely only) post on your great forum.

I'm at music college and I'd like you to do my homework for me. Can you write me a quick piece for piano in the style of Chopin? About 3 minutes long. By Friday lunchtime should be OK. No amateur efforts, please, I expect a good grade.

P.S. Let me make it absolutely clear, I'm not offering to pay anyone anything. You'll be lucky if I return to say thank-you


----------



## senza sordino

Torkelburger said:


> Composition Contest:
> Pick one of the three movements from John Cage's _4'33"_ and write a set of variations on its theme.


I've scored _4'33_ for full orchestra. Please check my midi file online.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

senza sordino said:


> I've scored _4'33_ for full orchestra. Please check my midi file online.


I shall not be upstaged! I have arranged it for two symphony orchestras, brass band and sixteen solo pianos!
(Not really, of course. If you want to waste time and money, though, why not arrange a performance of this? It'll only cost thousands of pounds or dollars or whatever currency you use.)


----------



## TurnaboutVox

senza sordino said:


> I've scored _4'33_ for full orchestra. Please check my midi file online.


Sorry, I couldn't get your midi file to play, so I couldn't hear your orchestration.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

My first classical piece, imodern;

Would you like some tea in your molasses...? Does it taste like blood jam when he does the vibraphone quirk? I want it Chinese, please, do not attempt to cut it when the; supertonic say hello to Mimsy the cat who knows. Get rid of it! Pianissimo. 

I put me heart and soul into it so It's a masterpiece of avatar-garde I won't tolerate criticism.


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Poll: Favorite Lupine Composer*

1. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
2. Hugo Wolf
3. Wolfgang Rihm
4. Igor Stravinsky
5. Other


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> *A Poll: Favorite Lupine Composer*
> 
> 1. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
> 2. Hugo Wolf
> 3. Wolfgang Rihm
> 4. Igor Stravinsky
> 5. Other


My vote: Other (Joseph Cante_loup_e)


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> My vote: Other (Joseph Cante_loup_e)


I've always enjoyed the ebullient and sweet Quadrilles and Schottisches by the late 19th century Alsacien composer, Pierre-Apollonon Pamplemousse (_fils_.)


----------



## TurnaboutVox

PetrB said:


> I've always enjoyed the ebullient and sweet Quadrilles and Schottisches by the late 19th century Alsacien composer, Pierre-Apollonon Pamplemousse (_fils_.)


Yes, I've heard that like Canteloupe, _Pamplemousse_ is sweet, but unlike Canteloupe, quite tangy and refreshing too.

I suppose any 'Alsatian' composer might qualify as semi-lupine...


----------



## Blancrocher

God (or should I say "Dog"?), what have I started...


----------



## PetrB

When Bach converted to Scientology, did that affect his writing of all those church cantatas and the passion and the B-minor mass? Are there any hidden musical symbols in the music or the texts which secretly refer to his newly adopted faith?


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> Yes, I've heard that like Canteloupe, _Pamplemousse_ is sweet, but it's quite tangy and refreshing too.[/I]
> 
> I suppose any 'Alsatian' composer might qualify as semi-lupine...


I read that the actor Peter Coyote has been taking private composition lessons and is soon to release a work for string septet, prepared tape, and a synthesizer using sound samples from his namesake critters, those samples recorded in the field in the Sierras. Looking forward to it.
..............






.....








In California, the Lupine grows in the wilds, mixed with the California Poppy, that golden orange colored spring flower for which the area was given its first Spanish name. When they sailed up the coast from South America, it was spring, visible from the coast, California's hills were swathed in the indigenous wildflower, _Eschscholzia californica_





















...ergo, _Tierra del Fuego._

Hot stuff!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> God (or should I say "Dog"?), what have I started...


Well, what goes around comes around, it's a kind of karmic loup...


----------



## hpowders

Does it help to be anti-semitic to get the most out of Bruckner's symphonies?


----------



## KenOC

Why did they name perotinitis after a composer? Did he have it?


----------



## millionrainbows

PetrB said:


> When Bach converted to Scientology, did that affect his writing of all those church cantatas and the passions? Are there any hidden musical symbols in the music or the texts which secretly refer to his newly adopted faith?


The Lutheran Church is actually a "front" organization for Scientology. The Christian "God" is also a "front" for an alien being, a Thetan, who is "clear."

Also, within the Masons, there is a secret enclave of Scientologists, using Masonry as their cover. 
Some of Mozart's later symphonies were actually written by L. Ron Hubbard, who went back in time to do it. Some say this is the reason for Mozart's financial struggles during the end of his life; he was paying for auditing.


----------



## millionrainbows

*MORE 4'33" HORROR STORIES*

I was playing 4'33" cranked up real loud, and it started sucking all of the sound out of the room. I started having trouble breathing, and realized that most of the air had left the room. My cat was at my feet, meowing at me, but I couldn't hear a thing. Panicking, I started banging my head against the wall, and then the window broke and I started getting pulled out. Luckily, I was on the ground floor, and landed on some soft grass. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT listen to this piece while on an airliner.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Does it help to be anti-semitic to get the most out of Bruckner's symphonies?


Oh, my... that is awful, yet awfully funny!


----------



## PetrB

millionrainbows said:


> *MORE 4'33" HORROR STORIES*
> 
> I was playing 4'33" cranked up real loud, and it started sucking all of the sound out of the room. I started having trouble breathing, and realized that most of the air had left the room. My cat was at my feet, meowing at me, but I couldn't hear a thing. Panicking, I started banging my head against the wall, and then the window broke and I started getting pulled out. Luckily, I was on the ground floor, and landed on some soft grass. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT listen to this piece while on an airliner.


I hope you recorded all that!


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> *Oh, my... that is awful, yet awfully funny![*/QUOTE]
> 
> That's why they pay me the big bucks!


----------



## LarryShone

What if Walt Disney had been a composer...


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> The Lutheran Church is actually a "front" organization for Scientology. The Christian "God" is also a "front" for an alien being, a Thetan, who is "clear."


You telling me that if Bach got interviewed by Oprah, he would end up jumping up and down on her couch?



LarryShone said:


> What if Walt Disney had been a composer...


Then ""Fantasia" would not have been half as good.


----------



## PetrB

LarryShone said:


> What if Walt Disney had been a composer...


He would have farmed all the creative work out to ghost writers, paid them pennies for it, and taken all the credit himself!


----------



## KenOC

PetrB said:


> He would have farmed all the creative work out to ghost writers, paid them pennies for it, and taken all the credit himself!


If Disney hadn't been there, none of that "creative work" would ever have been done.


----------



## LarryShone

Talking of Disney, anyone see the movie Saving Mr Banks? I thought it was very good!


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> He would have farmed all the creative work out to ghost writers, paid them pennies for it, and taken all the credit himself!


Nah! That sounds totally Goofy!


----------



## SONNET CLV

millionrainbows said:


> *MORE 4'33" HORROR STORIES*
> 
> I was playing 4'33" cranked up real loud, and it started sucking all of the sound out of the room. I started having trouble breathing, and realized that most of the air had left the room. My cat was at my feet, meowing at me, but I couldn't hear a thing. Panicking, I started banging my head against the wall, and then the window broke and I started getting pulled out. Luckily, I was on the ground floor, and landed on some soft grass. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT listen to this piece while on an airliner.


Did you try turning down the bass?


----------



## SONNET CLV

Blancrocher said:


> *A Poll: Favorite Lupine Composer*
> 
> 1. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
> 2. Hugo Wolf
> 3. Wolfgang Rihm
> 4. Igor Stravinsky
> 5. Other


My vote is for "Other", and I'll give a howl out for* Jean-Claude Wolff *who has a couple of symphonies recorded on the Vienna Modern Masters label.



TurnaboutVox said:


> My vote: Other (Joseph Cante_loup_e)





PetrB said:


> I've always enjoyed the ebullient and sweet Quadrilles and Schottisches by the late 19th century Alsacien composer, Pierre-Apollonon Pamplemousse (_fils_.)





TurnaboutVox said:


> Yes, I've heard that like Canteloupe, _Pamplemousse_ is sweet, but unlike Canteloupe, quite tangy and refreshing too.


But as long as we're also singing the praises of food here, I'll go on record as preferring watermelon to cantaloupe, which I especially enjoy while listening to Herbie Hancock music.


----------



## millionrainbows

*MORE 4'33" HORROR STORIES*

This one involved a low-rider automobile with two 18" subwoofers in the trunk. He had the irritating habit of driving slowly through the 'hood with the bass cranked up really loud, and this happened every Saturday night at around 2:30 AM. One of the guys in that neighborhood happened to be a big John Cage fan, so he set a plan into action. He recorded a CD of John Cage's Three Dances, with 4'33" tagged on at he end as the last cut. He labelled it "Caribbean Rhythms" and gave it to the low rider guy that Saturday afternoon.

Later that night, the low-rider did his usual drive-through routine, and he was slumped low at the wheel, completely hidden, digging on the rhytms of the Cage prepared piano pieces. The Cage music was effective, as well: the prepared piano piece being played was waking up all the neighbors.

Suddenly, 4'33" began playing, and according to witnesses, the entire vehicle began to be engulfed in a huge spinning vortex, caused by the extreme volume and bass of the silence, exaggerated by the playback system and the dual 18" subs in the trunk.

The driver and vehicle disappeared into an inter-dimensional vortex, never to be seen again.










*








*


----------



## hpowders

I listened to a HIP performance of Beethoven's Ninth symphony but prefer Karajan, which seems more HIP to me. Confused!! Help!!


----------



## hpowders

The most influential posters over the years on TC?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> The most influential posters over the years on TC?


Umm... you dear sir?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Bawdy Schubert Lieder"


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> The most influential posters over the years on TC?


No doubt, all banned


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "Bawdy Schubert Lieder"


I don't know if that is an actual screen name, or if you just thunk that one up, but I so like the ring and meaning of it, I gave it a like!


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> Umm... you dear sir?


Ha! Not even close, but thanks! You seem to be doing okay!


----------



## millionrainbows

*Entertaining Forum Statistics*

TalkClassical Posters Who Took Up The Most Square Footage with their Huge Album Cover Art Postings

"Prove It:" TalkClassical Posters Who Most Often Ask Others to "Prove" Their Posts

The Forum Atheist Trend: More than you'd think, and eager to tell you all about it

The Staggering Number of 4'33" posts: 456,987 and still counting


----------



## millionrainbows

I've got a CD of The Swingle Singers singing Bach. Is this what they mean by a "HIP" performance? It sounds pretty "hip" to me!


----------



## omega

_Mozartkugeln_ are made of chocolate, marzipan and nougat.
What ingredients would you put in the composer-of-your-choice's-_Kugel_? Would your _Brucknerkugel_ be healthier than your _Cagekugel_?


----------



## arpeggio

Your fourteen favorite French composers that were born in Vermont between 1817-1786.


----------



## senza sordino

arpeggio said:


> Your fourteen favorite French composers that were born in Vermont between 1817-1786.


???????


----------



## ribonucleic

We can bring solvency to American orchestras by selling sponsorships on the back on the conductor's tailcoat.

You know, like NASCAR drivers.


----------



## senza sordino

List music that 
makes you hungry
makes you thirsty
makes you horny
dampens that amorous feeling
makes you sweat
causes you to scratch your head


----------



## hpowders

senza sordino said:


> List music that
> makes you hungry
> makes you thirsty
> makes you horny
> dampens that amorous feeling
> makes you sweat
> causes you to scratch your head


Anything composed by Pierre Boulez.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Hi! Greetings to everybody on this great Classical Music forum.

I have a job uploading data for Classical Music products on a well known commercial website, Amazing.co.uk. I have had some appraisal feedback from customers suggesting that I might like to find out more about classical music to help me in my work. Unfortunately some of the customers didn't put it quite so politely as that, but, hey, that's business and I can live with that.

But I don't really understand where I'm going wrong, so maybe you guys at Talk Classical can help me.

1) When I upload information about a classical album to the site, I don't understand who the Artist is, because I got told that on a 'Beethoven' album, it's not 'Beethoven'. So who is it?

2) When a Classical band like the 'Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra' are playing a classical song by Beethoven, they're not his band? So these are cover versions, right?

3) 'Composer' - what's that? My friend thought it might be, like, the band's set designer? You know, the guy who decides where the band sits, what colours they wear, that kind of thing. So that should be credited to the band, right?

4) 'Symphony' - that's a Classical Music song, right? And 'Quintet' I get, that's like Maroon 5?

5) 'Chandos'. Is that the artist, the band or the song? I've tried entering it as all three.

6) Track titles - this I do not get. What in the world does this mean? Is it in some sort of weird code only you Classical Music lovers understand? It looks the same for every Classical album.



> Disc 1*
> 1 I. Adagio molto - Allegro con brio
> 2 II. Andante cantabile con moto
> 3 III. Menuetto (Allegro molto e vivace)
> 4 IV. Adagio - Allegro molto e vivace
> 5 I. Allegro con brio
> 6 II. Marcia funebre (Adagio assai)
> 7 III. Scherzo (Allegro vivace)
> 8 IV. Allegro molto - Poco andante - Presto


Any help you can give me will be appreciated! And you'll appreciate it too, the next time you come shopping! 

(*This is a real example from Amazing.co.uk)


----------



## TurnaboutVox

omega said:


> _Mozartkugeln_ are made of chocolate, marzipan and nougat.
> What ingredients would you put in the composer-of-your-choice's-_Kugel_? Would your _Brucknerkugel_ be healthier than your _Cagekugel_?


For Mahlerkugeln, lumps of rustic Austrian village wurst, randomly distributed amongst the otherwise refined ingredients

Iveskugeln would have chocolate and cheese, ingeniously contrived to clash in your mouth

I think probably just plain flour, sugar, a little salt, spices and water in Brucknerkugeln, but produced in every variation possible from those few ingredients, and if you painstakingly assembled the contents of a packet together, they'd resemble a great cathedral organ


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Cagekugeln would be much healthier than Brucknerkugeln, as they would have no calories.
They would also be free of flour, nougat and marzipan.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Cagekugeln would be much healthier than Brucknerkugeln, as they would have no calories.
> They would also be free of flour, nougat and marzipan.


They're completely organic, but due to their hallucinogenic mushrooms content, they're illegal just about everywhere.


----------



## LarryShone

arpeggio said:


> Your fourteen favorite French composers that were born in Vermont between 1817-1786.


Ah time travellers!


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> The Staggering Number of 4'33" posts: 456,987 and still counting


Godwin's Second Law: In any discussion of classical music, the subject of 4'33" will sooner or later come up.


----------



## ribonucleic

brianvds said:


> Godwin's Second Law: In any discussion of classical music, the subject of 4'33" will sooner or later come up.


Then you sound like a good person to ask. What's the best performance?


----------



## hpowders

Who is the greatest TC poster of all time?


----------



## LarryShone

Who was the most banned TC member...


----------



## brianvds

ribonucleic said:


> Then you sound like a good person to ask. What's the best performance?


The one with Sviatoslav Richter on guitar, with the Ouagadougou String Quartet.


----------



## SONNET CLV

brianvds said:


> Godwin's Second Law: In any discussion of classical music, the subject of 4'33" will sooner or later come up.


It may actually be under discussion perpetually. Maybe you just don't hear the discussion.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

TC Poll: Who was the most flatulent composer of all times? Nothing more, nothing less. 

- Brahms
- Mozart
- Vaughan Williams
- Rachmaninoff
- Wagner
- Bach
- Beethoven 
- Handel
- Haydn
- Other


----------



## LarryShone

DiesIraeVIX said:


> TC Poll: Who was the most flatulent composer of all times? Flatulent can mean whatever you'd like it to mean. Nothing more, nothing less. Pure and simple.
> 
> - Brahms
> - Mozart
> - Vaughan Williams
> - Rachmaninoff
> - Wagner
> - Bach
> - Beethoven
> - Handel
> - Haydn
> - Other


Well didn't Handel like to score for the Basso Profundo?


----------



## Badinerie

Which strong drink paired with a given composer gives the best psychotic hallucinations?


----------



## hpowders

If Beethoven was a god, why was his behavior so ungodlike?


----------



## Hmmbug

Who was the greatest baryton singer of all time?


----------



## brianvds

DiesIraeVIX said:


> TC Poll: Who was the most flatulent composer of all times? Nothing more, nothing less.
> 
> - Brahms
> - Mozart
> - Vaughan Williams
> - Rachmaninoff
> - Wagner
> - Bach
> - Beethoven
> - Handel
> - Haydn
> - Other


Mozart proudly claimed to be, but it was in fact Beethoven.


----------



## Morimur

The best music was composed by people in wigs. Explain why this is so.


----------



## Morimur

Jean Philippe Rameau's music makes me think of powdered wigs and syphilis. Is it just me?

View attachment 51004

_Jean-Philippe Rameau, 1720_


----------



## PetrB

Morimur said:


> The best music was composed by people in wigs. Explain why this is so.


Nothing like a tight cap on the head to:
1.) hold the thoughts in 
2.) hold the thoughts together
3.) and to incubate them till they're really ready to hatch -- natch!


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Who is the greatest TC poster of all time?


Me, obviously. I could be even greater if the %#[email protected]%^# software allowed me to post less than 15 characters at a time - brevity is the soul of wit.


----------



## ribonucleic

Scriabin... was that guy nuts or what?

Am I right, people?


----------



## hpowders

Borris Karloff had just the right voice quality for Peter and the Wolf. How come nobody ever recorded him in it?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

New thread: Why am I finding this avatar even more disturbing than Klaus Kinsky playing Lope de Aguirre?


----------



## LarryShone

TurnaboutVox said:


> New thread: Why am I finding this avatar even more disturbing than Klaus Kinsky playing Lope de Aguirre?


Oh I love spongebob


----------



## brianvds

Why hasn't anyone written an opera about Spongebob yet?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Which composer's handwriting was the most difficult to read?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

I've been looking and looking but I just can't seem to find the lyrics to Fur Elise. Can anybody help me?


----------



## hpowders

He modeled it after Mendelssohn's "Songs Without Words".


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> He modeled it after Mendelssohn's "Songs Without Words".


I'm pretty sure that Mendelssohn's Songs Without Words were an inspiration to Cage, not Beethoven.


----------



## senza sordino

MoonlightSonata said:


> I've been looking and looking but I just can't seem to find the lyrics to Fur Elise. Can anybody help me?


I say to you that I'm in love
In love with you
In love with you
I say to you that I'm in love
In love with you
My sweet Elise

I say to you that I am deaf
That I am deaf
That I am deaf
I say to you that I am deaf
You needn't say
That I love you


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> I've been looking and looking but I just can't seem to find the lyrics to Fur Elise. Can anybody help me?


They are a truly raunchy filthy-dirty bawdy limerick, so they can _not_ be printed on TC without being in violation of TC's ToS.


----------



## Donata

Does anyone think a zombie movie based around dead composers (decomposers?) would be a great idea?
I can picture the tagline: "Just when you thought it was safe to go back to Vienna. . ." 

What composer would make a good comic book character, and why? 

The best concertos for playing musical chairs.

Did Pachelbel's neighbors ever complain about him firing his canon too often? 

Which of these composers would likely enter a beauty pageant: Chopin, Mozart, Rachmaninoff, or Mahler?


----------



## ribonucleic

Why did Shostakovich let Stalin push him around?


----------



## hpowders

Are Haydn's London Symphonies a 48 movement seamless, continuous song without words tribute to the city of London?


----------



## Morimur

ribonucleic said:


> Why did Shostakovich let Stalin push him around?


Excerpt taken from _Russia and the Soviet Union 1917-1941, Cliff Cranfield_

The Soviet composer Dimitri Shostakovich denies that Stalin had any charisma. In his words, Stalin was "an ordinary, shabby little man: short, fat, with reddish hair. His face was covered with pock marks and his right hand was noticeably thinner than his left. He kept hiding his right hand. He didn't look anything like his numerous portraits."


----------



## ribonucleic

As a young man, at least, he was quite handsome.


----------



## millionrainbows

*MORE SCHOLARLY ARTICLES:
*
Does "Sonata Form" Really Exist? by Charles Rosen

"I Didn't Think So," by millionrainbows

Instead of reading the book, just remember this: "Fast-slow-fast"

Harmonic Non-development in the Music of Olivier Messiaen

50 Ways to Hear Schoenberg Tonally, While Leaving Your Lover

Johann Strauss Waltzes and the Roots of Anti-semitism

Howard Levy plays Schoenberg's Pelleas und Mellisande on a single diatonic "C" harmonica


----------



## brianvds

After a decades-long search, musicologists discover the Holy Grail of serialism: A C major chord in a work by Schoenberg


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Which period of TalkClassical.com represented its members most?

What PetrB reaching 10,000 posts means for _you_ and what you can do to prepare for it.

If Beethoven were alive today, would he be in a Black Metal band?


----------



## Mahlerian

brianvds said:


> After a decades-long search, musicologists discover the Holy Grail of serialism: A C major chord in a work by Schoenberg


There's an explicit joke in the first of his Three Satires for choir:


----------



## PetrB

Mahlerian said:


> There's an explicit joke in the first of his Three Satires for choir:
> View attachment 51274


Ahhh, but _what Roman Numeral would you assign that second group of pitches?_ That is the question 

Question: were singers 'back then' really expected to read from that clef as scored? And is that one eccentric soprano 'c' clef? I've never seen it before!


----------



## Couchie

12 steps to becomming a more obsessed and annoying Wagnerian


----------



## Blancrocher

**A Poll* Which Century Will Be Better For Music?*

A. 22nd century
B. 23rd century

While neither century has happened, I feel that from the standpoint of the 24th century I will appreciate the older music more as a result of the more diverse recorded and concert traditions. Of course, it's not an easy decision given the impressive novelty of 23rd-century music.

Be advised that this is a public poll, so others can see how you responded.


----------



## PetrB

DiesIraeVIX said:


> What PetrB reaching 10,000 posts means for _you_ and what you can do to prepare for it.


 An open plea... please, no one inform me of my number of posts, congratulate me on my XXXXth post (what is to congratulate about that, anyway?) or how many likes I have, or how many times I've been temporarily banned. I don't ever look at any of those stats, and I'm recommending for the mental health of all, that no one look at any ones stats there, even their own!



DiesIraeVIX said:


> If Beethoven were alive today, would he be in a Black Metal band?


With the likelihood he could hear, or at least feel that heavily amplified music, it is quite possible!


----------



## Mahlerian

PetrB said:


> Question: were singers 'back then' really expected to read from that clef as scored? And is that one eccentric soprano 'c' clef? I've never seen it before!


The score uses Soprano (rather than treble), Alto, and Tenor clefs, for some reason...not that I know much of anybody who can actually read them.

His book on counterpoint insists that the student write in these old clefs because it's good practice for reading transposing instruments.


----------



## omega

_Compositions in which pianos are destroyed_ has already been done.
What about _Compositions in which pianists are destroyed_?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

DiesIraeVIX said:


> If Beethoven were alive today, would he be in a Black Metal band?


That's _Blackened Death Metal_, dude, _*totally*_ different genre. Huh.


----------



## ribonucleic

Couchie said:


> 12 steps to becomming a more obsessed and annoying Wagnerian


Protest outside all performances of Vaughn Williams' Tuba Concerto that do not use a Wagner tuba.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

*Poll*: How much time _should _be put into a TC post? Is the time different when discussing Black Metal?

- 10 seconds
- 15 seconds
- 16 seconds


----------



## SimonNZ

PetrB said:


> An open plea... please, no one inform me of my number of posts, congratulate me on my XXXXth post (what is to congratulate about that, anyway?) or how many likes I have, or how many times I've been temporarily banned. I don't ever look at any of those stats, and I'm recommending for the mental health of all, that no one look at any ones stats there, even their own!


So...what you're saying here is that not congratulating you would be a stupid idea? I understand.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> So...what you're saying here is that not congratulating you would be a stupid idea? I understand.


NOnonononooooo. Congratulating me on my x___ eenth, ieth, andth post is a stunningly bad idea. Congratulations should be about something good that has happened, a bit of good fortune falling your way, _or something you've done which has merit,_ lol.


----------



## SimonNZ

It may be more that its a confirmation and pleasure to people to note on "occasions" how healthy and vibrant the forum is, the congrats is then "thanks for helping me feel I've come to the right place". And its nice to be arbitrarily/randomly nice.

But I'll do my best to follow your wishes. (though all your old friends and classmates have already arrived in town, and the catering paid for)

back on topic:

"How would Bach have performed it? Let's have a seance to find out!"

followed by:

"Um, does anyone here on TC speak German?"


----------



## hpowders

Is it true the inspiration for the bubbling brook from Beethoven's Pastoral is being renamed "Activity Stream"?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> Is it true the inspiration for the bubbling brook from Beethoven's Pastoral is being renamed "Activity Stream"?


I thought that that deadly movement put you and your dog to sleep! 

Unless... Beethoven would have fallen asleep looking at our discussions on talk classical, then... you would be absolutely right!


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Is it true the inspiration for the bubbling brook from Beethoven's Pastoral is being renamed "Activity Stream"?


Not renamed. It's a translation on a Chinese edition. The movements are titled as follows:

Joyful the areas devoid of persons
Activity stream
Pleasant dance activity with musics
Take care with strong noise in clouds
Translation server error


----------



## KenOC

brianvds said:


> Not renamed. It's a translation on a Chinese edition. The movements are titled as follows:
> 
> Joyful the areas devoid of persons
> Activity stream
> Pleasant dance activity with musics
> Take care with strong noise in clouds
> Translation server error


A classic! ..............................................


----------



## brianvds

I forgot to add that these are the movements from the Pasteurized Beetroot Symphonics.


----------



## hpowders

Poll question: Would Beethoven box our ears upon reading this particular STI page, or would it cause him to produce that rude, loud, defiant laugh, dispersing his bad breath and streptoccocous throat bacteria among us perpetrators as punishment enough?

This is a public poll. Everyone can see your choice, so please choose carefully.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

brianvds said:


> Not renamed. It's a translation on a Chinese edition. The movements are titled as follows:
> 
> Joyful the areas devoid of persons
> Activity stream
> Pleasant dance activity with musics
> Take care with strong noise in clouds
> Translation server error


Brilliant! In tribute to your effort, here's what you get if you put Beethoven's descriptive notes for the Pastoral into Google translate, translate English - Mandarin and then Mandarin - English again:

The arrival of awakening in rural cheerful feeling.
Scene in a small creek.
******* happy gathering.
Thunder Storm. (I much prefer 'Take care with strong noise in clouds'!)
Shepherd's song. Always happy mood after the storm and gratitude.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Poll question: Would Beethoven box our ears upon reading this particular STI page, or would it cause him to produce that rude, loud, defiant laugh, dispersing his bad breath and streptoccocous throat bacteria among us perpetrators as punishment enough?
> 
> This is a public poll. Everyone can see your choice, so please choose carefully.


As far as I could gather, Beethoven was actually very meticulous about oral hygiene, and rarely for the age, had clean, white teeth.

Nevertheless, upon reading this thread, he would find _some_ sort of way to offend us all.


----------



## brianvds

TurnaboutVox said:


> Brilliant! In tribute to your effort, here's what you get if you put Beethoven's descriptive notes for the Pastoral into Google translate, translate English - Mandarin and then Mandarin - English again:
> 
> The arrival of awakening in rural cheerful feeling.
> Scene in a small creek.
> ******* happy gathering.
> Thunder Storm. (I much prefer 'Take care with strong noise in clouds'!)
> Shepherd's song. Always happy mood after the storm and gratitude.


LOL. I very much prefer "******* happy gathering" to my own attempt. 

And in case you thought I was joking about that last movement, I give you:


----------



## DiesIraeCX

brianvds said:


> Not renamed. It's a translation on a Chinese edition. The movements are titled as follows:
> 
> Joyful the areas devoid of persons
> Activity stream
> Pleasant dance activity with musics
> Take care with strong noise in clouds
> Translation server error


:lol: Haha! Without a doubt, in the top 5 funniest posts so far. Well played.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Advice for piano-teacher nuns on the best rulers for over-the knuckle disciplining of dirty little boys who don't practice their scales: all too gentle wood, adequately stinging but breakable plastic, or sturdy sharpenable metal?"


----------



## hpowders

I want to get into classical music the right way. Is there a committee that determines if the performance of a piece of music is definitive? Is this like an honor to be selected for such a committee?


----------



## Ingélou

PetrB said:


> An open plea... please, no one inform me of my number of posts, congratulate me on my XXXXth post (what is to congratulate about that, anyway?) or how many likes I have, or how many times I've been temporarily banned. I don't ever look at any of those stats, and I'm recommending for the mental health of all, that no one look at any ones stats there, even their own!!


Awwww! Well, okay - I won't inform you, but I'm sorry, I will just *have* to celebrate it...


----------



## hpowders

I will purposely come over and congratulate him on his next milestone. If he puts me on "ignore", I know he read it!

Of course the nagging question, if one ignores the accolades, how does he know the "accolade department" even exists?


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> I forgot to add that these are the movements from the Pasteurized Beetroot Symphonics.


... as translated by one Sum Ting Wong.


----------



## brianvds

PetrB said:


> ... as translated by one Sum Ting Wong.


And bought in the Wong Fook Hing CD Store.


----------



## Guest

"Are great composers basically anyone who isn't a filthy modernist sociopath?"


----------



## PetrB

arcaneholocaust said:


> "Are great composers basically anyone who isn't a filthy modernist sociopath?"


Better to contemplate if past and present composers _were anything but_ filthy modernist sociopaths, because at the least that angle requires less sorting out than the other way around


----------



## SimonNZ

"How do kettledrum players transport their instruments to and from the concerts?"

It must be even worse for organists - the logistics baffle me.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "How do kettledrum players transport their instruments to and from the concerts?"
> 
> It must be even worse for organists - the logistics baffle me.


Me, I want to know how the organist manages to get that pipe organ in and out of the hall.


----------



## SimonNZ

Its no wonder pianists are at great risk of arthritis - carrying those things to and fro.


----------



## SimonNZ

PetrB said:


> Me, I want to know how the organist manages to get that pipe organ in and out of the hall.


Well...each of the smaller pipes slides into the larger pipes, reducing the space considerably, making just one rather heavy pipe - like one of those Russian dolls.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

PetrB said:


> Me, I want to know how the organist manages to get that pipe organ in and out of the hall.


I think Larry Adler just put his in his pocket after making sure he'd got rid of the saliva, didn't he? Oh, _PIPE_ organ?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Circular breathing techniques to achieve a more even air flow and volume through your pipe organ"


----------



## Blancrocher

This is not a pipe organ.

Discuss


----------



## PetrB

Blancrocher said:


> View attachment 51832
> 
> 
> This is not a pipe organ.
> 
> Discuss










-----------------------------------


----------



## Skilmarilion

Who is the greatest of composers of most times in general specifically of all time in particular?

Recommend me symphonies like 50 greatest relaxing classical hits.

Not Currently Listening: Post all the classical music that you are currently not listening to.


----------



## trazom

"Do people not like Wagner's music because there Jewish?"

"Am I good enough to sing opera?Here's my clip. NO BAD COMMENTS"

"Was Glenn Gould teh greatest of all time? Only reply to this thread if yes"

"Do only happy composers write in C major?"

"would Beethoven have made it on the Bachelorette?"

"Which composer would win dancing with the stars?"

"Was Brahms gay? nm."

"Who's the best composer(Don't just vote for your favorite)"

"Who's the best orchestrator(Don't just vote for your favorite)"

"Who's the best melody writing person(i don't mean your favorite, so don't vote for them. im serious)"

"Which composer pierces your soul, sends you to heaven and hell and then back to earth but is not your favorite(if you vote for your favorite you better stop it. because you're getting annoying)"

"Which poster is the biggest thread bringer backer?"

"Do you like any of these composers? Don't post anything if you agree"


----------



## senza sordino

Skilmarilion said:


> Not Currently Listening: Post all the classical music that you are currently not listening to.


:lol: :lol: this is hysterical


----------



## millionrainbows

The modernists are getting older:

*Piece for 99 Wheelchairs
*
*Help I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up, *for 23 dancers.

*Symphony for 200 Hot Water Bottles*

*Music for Percussion and False-Teeth Castanets
*
*String Quartet Music Using Canes Instead of Bows
*
*Man In a Chair, *a silent 3-hour piece for a chair and one sitting performer with dementia


----------



## millionrainbows

arcaneholocaust said:


> "Are great composers basically anyone who isn't a filthy modernist sociopath?"


Hey, I happen to_ like_ Henry Cowell!


----------



## millionrainbows

Go for what you know: Iannis Xenakis stages a version of* Phantom of the Opera*


----------



## millionrainbows

omega said:


> _Compositions in which pianos are destroyed_ has already been done.
> What about _Compositions in which pianists are destroyed_?


It's been done, his name was Ervin Nyiregyhazi.

*​ *


----------



## KenOC

millionrainbows said:


> The modernists are getting older:


Prostate Polka? --------------------------


----------



## millionrainbows

KenOC said:


> Prostate Polka? --------------------------


It's a theme which gets enlarged, and the musical stream of notes gets progressively smaller, until we are left with total silence. Then you die.


----------



## trazom

Poll-Vote for which key is more emotional: A minor or D minor.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Skilmarilion said:


> Not Currently Listening: Post all the classical music that you are currently not listening to.


N.B. As a newly registered member you are restricted to this thread alone. You must post all the classical music that you are currently not listening to on a minimum of 10 (TEN) consecutive days before you gain general posting privileges and access to your profile.

There. That should stop the whipper-snappers joining.


----------



## Ingélou

Hi, I am researching the most popular discussion topics on music forums & hope to produce the ultimate irresistible thread. Please post me any titles of threads that combine three or more of the following ideas: atonal music - music that stirs the emotions - death of Mozart - bagpipe jokes - Cage 4'33 - anti-semitism in classical music - ten best composers - Brahms & Clara, did they or didn't they?
Cheers!


----------



## OlivierM

"Why the idea of antisemitism in classical music made the death of mozart happen earlier than expected while he was composing a baroque version of 4'33 (called IV-XXXIII), and how it happened when he pictured Brahms and Clara doing it with the other ten best composers ever in a Cage"


Edit : On a second thought, it seems quite perverted. Pardon my French


----------



## Wood

millionrainbows said:


> *Oh, where have you gone, Dennis Brain, Dennis Brain
> 
> Oh, where have you gone, darling Dennis
> 
> You were speeding in your car, now your brain is in a jar
> 
> Now you'll never play another Strauss Concerto*


My call transforms
The hall to autumn-tinted groves
What is into what
Has been....


----------



## SimonNZ

"Why is my new Steinway missing all the B sharp and E sharp keys?"


----------



## trazom

SimonNZ said:


> "Why is my new Steinway missing all the B sharp and E sharp keys?"


Because those keys are harder, more advance.

"How do I make the vibrato come out?"

"Do you have to stick your chin out really far to reach the top F?"


----------



## SimonNZ

trazom said:


> Because those keys are harder, more advance.


So where can I get one with all the keys? I've got a Liszt recital next week and I need to practice.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> So where can I get one with all the keys? I've got a Liszt recital next week and I need to practice.


What about I swap with you? I have one without C flat and F flat keys, which I don't think Liszt used.


----------



## trazom

SimonNZ said:


> So where can I get one with all the keys? I've got a Liszt recital next week and I need to practice.


your teacher will tell you when you reach enough talent. if you don't have enough talent, you have to stop it because you're getting really annoying.

....All joking aside, most of my dumb thread titles were inspired by actual posts I've seen here or on youtube.


----------



## SimonNZ

"How much of the technique I've developed on the sitar is transferable to the button accordion?"


----------



## hpowders

Why did Mozart write for the stupid fortepiano when he could have written for the Steinway Grand. I'm new here and I want to make a good impression. I have many more such questions.


----------



## SimonNZ

"I understand the accelerator...but what's the piano's clutch pedal for?"

(I've heard that purists now prefer only sparing use of the accelerator: the pianist now should use their own energy if they want to speed up, especially in works from the horse-and-cart era. Makes sense.)


----------



## science

I haven't read all 74 pages of this thread but I suspect I've started several of the threads suggested herein.


----------



## SimonNZ

"How do you know if you're listening to Scriabin or someone with Parkinsons playing Chopin?"

_I'll go stand in the corner now..._


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "Why is my new Steinway missing all the B sharp and E sharp keys?"


Prize-winner!

"Prince's / Princesses' dad and mum cave in to child's repeated petulant _demands_ for a Steinway D (...for which they built an extension onto their home to accommodate the sucker.)


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "I understand the accelerator...but what's the piano's clutch pedal for?"
> 
> (I've heard that purists now prefer only sparing use of the accelerator: the pianist now should use their own energy if they want to speed up, especially in works from the horse-and-cart era. Makes sense.)










_____________________________________


----------



## PetrB

Ingélou said:


> Hi, I am researching the most popular discussion topics on music forums & hope to produce the ultimate irresistible thread. Please post me any titles of threads that combine three or more of the following ideas: atonal music - music that stirs the emotions - death of Mozart - bagpipe jokes - Cage 4'33 - anti-semitism in classical music - ten best composers - Brahms & Clara, did they or didn't they?
> Cheers!










(c) pb 2014
---------------------------------


----------



## science

Ingélou said:


> Hi, I am researching the most popular discussion topics on music forums & hope to produce the ultimate irresistible thread. Please post me any titles of threads that combine three or more of the following ideas: atonal music - music that stirs the emotions - death of Mozart - bagpipe jokes - Cage 4'33 - anti-semitism in classical music - ten best composers - Brahms & Clara, did they or didn't they?
> Cheers!


Yer a-tryin' too hard, ma'am.

"I don't get modern music. I think I don't like atonal music. It doesn't have enough emotion for me. Am I stupid?"

If the thread doesn't get locked, you're sure to get at least 35 fun-filled pages.


----------



## TresPicos

I don't understand the concept of atonal music. Is it an atonement for things the composer has already done, or will the composer need to atone afterwards for the atonal music he or she is writing? I guess the latter, considering how it sounds.


----------



## OlivierM

"What is the top 100 of [insert genre]".

*hides with popcorn :angel:


----------



## MagneticGhost

Is it just me, or is everyone else stupid!?


----------



## Blancrocher

MagneticGhost said:


> Is it just me, or is everyone else stupid!?


To be certain, I'd have to know more about your tastes in music.


----------



## PetrB

TresPicos said:


> I don't understand the concept of atonal music. Is it an atonement for things the composer has already done, or will the composer need to atone afterwards for the atonal music he or she is writing? I guess the latter, considering how it sounds.


Also, if it is music without a center, does that make it the equivalent of a musical doughnut?
Too, can one find and hear those doughnut holes anywhere, and are they the 'tonal' bits?


----------



## millionrainbows

trazom said:


> Because those keys are harder, more advance.
> 
> "How do I make the vibrato come out?"
> 
> "Do you have to stick your chin out really far to reach the top F?"


Hello, I used to be an electric guitar player, but I sold it and bought a 1932 Steinway. I was wondering, is there any way I can get it fitted with a Floyd Rose whammy bar?


----------



## SimonNZ

^ Good luck trying: they wouldn't even supply me one with a classic Sunburst finish.


----------



## SimonNZ

"There are currently 997 Rock Star guitarists who believed they were the first and only rocker ever to write a "Concerto For Electric Guitar". Should there be a special celebration for number 1,000?"


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Bread: Do you like bread? I do, but what do you think? Vote now!


Beige! Do you like beige? I do, I wear beige shirts and slacks. I have painted my house beige. I own a beige car and a beige (well, mostly) dog. I even like beige music! But what are your tastes? Do you love or hate beige? Vote now!!


Banal: Do you like banal threads? I do, but is this the most banal of them all? Vote now!!!


----------



## SimonNZ

^You forgot the poll options. Including the all-important Unsure. I'm unsure if I like bread.


----------



## TresPicos

SimonNZ said:


> ^You forgot the poll options. Including the all-important Unsure. I'm unsure if I like bread.


I like _some _bread.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> ^You forgot the poll options. Including the all-important Unsure. I'm unsure if I like bread.





TresPicos said:


> I like _some _bread.


I only like bread if it was made by Wilhelm Furtwangler in Berlin in 1944, but I'm not averse to remastering with modern flour and yeast.


----------



## Ian Moore

I have just been on one about peanut butter.


----------



## SimonNZ

"If I insult another TC member using foul language, but it comes out as all asterisk, then I can't get any infraction points, can I?"

Well? Answer me, you ******* ****! No? Fine, then go **** yourselves.


----------



## hpowders

I am a beginner violinist and I had two violins to practice an etude-one a Guarneri del Jesu supplied by my teacher and the other my own cheap violin. They both sounded horrible. So my $73 violin must be a bargain, right?


----------



## millionrainbows

TurnaboutVox said:


> Bread: Do you like bread? I do, but what do you think? Vote now!


I like them; they were a good MOR pop group for their time. David Gates was a good songwriter. Favorite songs: _Guitar Man, Baby I'm-a-Want You, It Don't Matter To Me.
_


----------



## millionrainbows

I want to play some Robert Schumann, and another pianist told me that you had to have a contraption fitted over your hand to do it. Is this true?


----------



## millionrainbows

I want to play some John Cage prepared piano pieces that he wrote in the early 1950s, but I'm having trouble locating good vintage nuts and bolts made of real steel. Many of them are now cheap aluminum alloys that are made in China, and don't get as good a sound. Is there a good source for NOS bolts and screws?


----------



## trazom

"Did God make music? Because, IMO, He made Bach and through him Mozart was born as the musical baby Jesus who redeemed mankind until Beethoven rebelled against the heavily tradition and fell resulting in the birth of the antichrist Wagner who further spawned demons like Mahler and Bruckner. IMO"


----------



## hpowders

^^^^Take out the "Mahler" reference and I believe every word of it. Wagner had nothing to do with Mahler as the former would be reviled by the latter's Jewish heritage.


----------



## Mahlerian

hpowders said:


> ^^^^Take out the "Mahler" reference and I believe every word of it. Wagner had nothing to do with Mahler as the former would be reviled by the latter's Jewish heritage.


Mahler and Wagner never did end up meeting, though he maintained cordial if strained relations with Wagner's widow Cosima, who was outspokenly anti-Semitic, and likely prevented Mahler from having the chance to ever conduct at Bayreuth. Richard Wagner had of course allowed Levi, not only Jewish in heritage but also not converted, to conduct his works.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new here and want to get off to a good start. If I claim "I can't stand Bruckner's music!" is this considered to be libelous?
I hope this isn't a stupid question because I'm only a student and don't have a lot of money to settle lawsuits filed by composers or their families.


----------



## millionrainbows

Mahlerian said:


> Mahler and Wagner never did end up meeting, though he maintained cordial if strained relations with Wagner's widow Cosima, who was outspokenly anti-Semitic...


That's okay; Mahler didn't like Jews either. Remember that thread? And who knows why she might have prevented him from conducting at Bayreuth? Maybe he put his hand on her thigh.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Cocktails inspired by CM performers and composers*

Roger Sessions Martini: Very dry, with one isolationist olive

Beethoven boilermaker: Shot of whiskey, 2 shots of vodka, spritz of soda, then later you begin scowling and explode

Schoenberg Special: shot of moonshine in light olive oil, which never mixes, 2 drops of absinthe


----------



## Mahlerian

millionrainbows said:


> That's okay; Mahler didn't like Jews either. Remember that thread? And who knows why she might have prevented him from conducting at Bayreuth? Maybe he put his hand on her thigh.


Actually, it's very well known that she even did her best to keep him out of Vienna, though she lavished praise on him very briefly when he put on her son's opera Der Bärenhäuter, before turning around to blame him (rather than her son) for its lack of success.

And, for the record, Mahler was not an anti-Semite. He was biased against those Jews considered "Eastern" and "unassimilated", as were many others of his time. Prejudiced? Yes. Anti-semitic Jew-hater? No.


----------



## millionrainbows

Mahlerian said:


> Actually, it's very well known that she even did her best to keep him out of Vienna, though she lavished praise on him very briefly when he put on her son's opera Der Bärenhäuter, before turning around to blame him (rather than her son) for its lack of success.
> 
> And, for the record, Mahler was not an anti-Semite. He was biased against those Jews considered "Eastern" and "unassimilated", as were many others of his time. Prejudiced? Yes. Anti-semitic Jew-hater? No.


Perhaps the rest of humanity deserves such leeway. Such fine distinctions!


----------



## hpowders

I know how he felt. Growing up in Brooklyn as a kid, passing through Williamsburg, there were a lot of unassimilated, Orthodox Jews, with long beards, dressed in black coats with fur hats. They all looked the same. As an assimilated middle class Jew, I felt ashamed and embarrassed by those people.
I'm sure they hated me too!


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Poll*

How much longer before the "Stupid Thread Ideas" thread gets "closed down for repairs"?

A. 1 more post
B. 1 more page
C. 2 more pages
D. 47 seconds
E. Other


----------



## hpowders

Why? It's one of the few sane threads where posters seem to get along.


----------



## hpowders

Perhaps "someone" is simply running out of funny material?


----------



## SONNET CLV

hpowders said:


> Why? It's one of the few sane threads where posters seem to get along.


That's because we can hide our true "dumbness" behind seemingly clever "stupid posts". I find it a lot easier to be dumb than clever. Since I don't know anything, this is the perfect thread for me. Facts and valid information don't matter.


----------



## hpowders

I like it because I can try out new material on this thread before taking it on the road as part of my act.


----------



## Ingélou

If brown is the new black, is stupid the new clever?


----------



## hpowders

I don't know but it's been said 80 is the new 70; of course by teeny boppers of around 45, so how the heck would they know??


----------



## Cosmos

*Why should we listen to old music?*

Sure it was innovative for it's time, but what's the point in focusing on all the oldies? Shouldn't we be listening only to the newest music? This is why classical music is dying.

Now discuss why you think I'm wrong and we'll agree to disagree because you all know I'm right


----------



## arpeggio

Blancrocher said:


> *A Poll*
> 
> How much longer before the "Stupid Thread Ideas" thread gets "closed down for repairs"?
> 
> A. 1 more post
> B. 1 more page
> C. 2 more pages
> D. 47 seconds
> E. Other


I vote other. 33" 4'.


----------



## Cosmos

*Classical music cures diseases: An experiment*

I have preformed an experiment that proves the superiority of classical music.

First, I set up two pots with marigolds, both set next to the window, both receiving the same amount of water daily. Both had headphones wrapped around them; one played Mozart, the other, Black Sabbath, for an hour a day. After the course of a few weeks, I noticed that the flowers subjected to Mozart grew slightly taller, and were more vibrant in color than the ones that "listened" to Black Sabbath.

Ergo, I conclude that classical music is better, and better for your health, than any other genre. In fact, all other genre of music is terrible. Either you dislike all other music, or you're wrong. It's a scientific fact.

What do you guys think? I will go through and like every comment that supports my opinions


----------



## Levanda

I did not followed this tread. There are some maybe will be stupid tread ideas maybe because beginners don't know much about that. Would be good idea if some professional classical musics expert give some good platform for more understanding like me. I feel little in shame maybe I will post some question and another post call stupid. Never mind this forum have plenty to learn. Many thanks.


----------



## arpeggio

*Apology of a Grinch.*



Levanda said:


> I did not followed this tread. There are some maybe will be stupid tread ideas maybe because beginners don't know much about that. Would be good idea if some professional classical musics expert give some good platform for more understanding like me. I feel little in shame maybe I will post some question and another post call stupid. Never mind this forum have plenty to learn. Many thanks.


Actually we are reacting to threads that are posted by experienced members who are trying to advance an agenda. The most common is any music composed after 1900 is less worthy than older music.

Sometimes we overreact to well meaning inquiries from newbies. Sorry about that. 

See my post: http://www.talkclassical.com/34199-praise-20th-century-music-3.html#post727113


----------



## SimonNZ

...but most are the kind of "beyond stupid" if not downright improbable ideas that even the newest of newbies can laugh at


----------



## trazom

Cosmos said:


> What do you guys think? I will go through and like every comment that supports my opinions


I study science professionally, have had numerous articles of mine posted in respectable journals, and my colleagues and I are laughing at the serious flaw in your study: You didn't use studio headphones with high definition. obviously you didn't take all variables into account.


----------



## KenOC

trazom said:


> I study science professionally, have had numerous articles of mine posted in respectable journals, and my colleagues and I are laughing at the serious flaw in your study: You didn't use studio headphones with high definition. obviously you didn't take all variables into account.


Actually, he did use hi-def phones. But he only had one pair. To assure a random selection of which plant to put them on, he tossed a coin repeatedly until he got the desired results.


----------



## hpowders

trazom said:


> I study science professionally, have had numerous articles of mine posted in respectable journals, and my colleagues and I are laughing at the serious flaw in your study: You didn't use studio headphones with high definition. obviously you didn't take all variables into account.


Damn! You beat me to it!! I finally had something substantial to say and now I can't use it!!! However, anyone really should have seen right through it and found the obvious flaw!


----------



## trazom

^^You are both clearly wrong! I am a Professor of Science! Call my twenty-something busty brunette secretary and she can schedule you two an appointment to visit me during my office hours and I will lecture you. As you can see, I am VERY BUSY so stop wasting my time.


----------



## hpowders

I was a professor of science too. I taught chemistry grad students at Lehigh University in Pennsylvania.
Then I became a HS chemistry teacher in NYC.

So if you intend to waste MY time, make an appointment with my secretary. :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

I see a thread "Pieces that have blown you away recently". I hope this isn't dumb, but are you looking for like the soundtrack to the Wizard of Oz or do you mean pieces that have really impacted you in a profound way?


----------



## brianvds

arpeggio said:


> The most common is any music composed after 1900 is less worthy than older music.


And just occasionally, someone argues that any music composed before 1900 (with the possible exception of Afternoon of a faun) is less worthy than modern music.



hpowders said:


> I see a thread "Pieces that have blown you away recently". I hope this isn't dumb, but are you looking for like the soundtrack to the Wizard of Oz or do you mean pieces that have really impacted you in a profound way?


That thread has confused me too. The last time I got blown away by a piece was when I attended a live performance of the 1812 overture. The conductor (one Glazunov or something like that) was drunk, and started firing the cannon at the audience.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> And just occasionally, someone argues that any music composed before 1900 (with the possible exception of Afternoon of a faun) is less worthy than modern music.
> 
> That thread has confused me too. The last time I got blown away by a piece was when I attended a live performance of the 1812 overture. The conductor (one Glazunov or something like that) was drunk, and started firing the cannon at the audience.


Sounds like a Disney ride. Wait 2 hours in a winding line for one freakin' cannon shot that's over in a second or two.
It's just not right!!


----------



## SONNET CLV

trazom said:


> ^^You are both clearly wrong! I am a Professor of Science! Call my twenty-something busty brunette secretary and she can schedule you two an appointment to visit me during my office hours and I will lecture you. As you can see, I am VERY BUSY so stop wasting my time.





hpowders said:


> I was a professor of science too. I taught chemistry grad students at Lehigh University in Pennsylvania.
> Then I became a HS chemistry teacher in NYC.
> 
> So if you intend to waste MY time, make an appointment with my secretary. :tiphat:


Am I the only one here without a secretary?

No wonder I have so much time in my day to listen to music.


----------



## hpowders

SONNET CLV said:


> Am I the only one here without a secretary?
> 
> No wonder I have so much time in my day to listen to music.


There must be SOMEONE in Montana who needs a secretarial job.

I just can't do all this alone: Posting. Editing. Deleting. Reviewing Recordings. "Liking". Manufacturing dumb thread ideas by the bushel.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Sounds like a Disney ride. Wait 2 hours in a winding line for one freakin' cannon shot that's over in a second or two.
> It's just not right!!


Many would say the same thing for sex. The question is whether the cannon shot is worth it.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Many would say the same thing for sex. The question is whether the cannon shot is worth it.


Yeah, except for the two hour part! I'm kind of a pithy guy! :lol:


----------



## Blancrocher

**A Poll**

Hi everybody! I'm a great fan of Stockhausen's _Helikopter-Streichquartett_ (Helicopter Quartet), and have even performed it in various amateur groups in my hometown. I'm wondering which instruments you all favor? Period instruments, or the latest technology? Which sound the best live and on disk? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

A. 4 Light Piston-engined helicopters
B. 4 light turbine helicopters
C. 4 twin Engined helicopters
D. Combination of the above
E. Other


----------



## Skilmarilion

If Wagner had written 4′33″, would he have actually written it as 4days'19hours"?

If Bruckner had written 4′33″, how many times would he have revised it?

If Bruckner had written 4′33″, would it have been his longest musical passage without unbelievably loud brass fanfares?

If Bruckner had conducted 4′33″, would he have grown impatient and directed the brass to play an unbelievably loud fanfare?

Is Bruckner's 9th actually unfinished, or is its finale simply 4′33″?


----------



## Mahlerian

Skilmarilion said:


> If Bruckner had written 4′33″, would it have been his longest musical passage without unbelievably loud brass fanfares?


I think that this has it beat.


----------



## Polyphemus

Does anyone actually get royalties for 4' 33".


----------



## KenOC

Polyphemus said:


> Does anyone actually get royalties for 4' 33".


It seems that Cage's estate sued a British songwriter some years back for a song titled "A One Minute Silence." Here's the story about the six-figure settlement:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/2276621.stm

About royalties, I would think that if the work were performed under the name Cage gave it, royalties would be due. Fair's fair.


----------



## Polyphemus

KenOC said:


> It seems that Cage's estate sued a British songwriter some years back for a song titled "A One Minute Silence." Here's the story about the six-figure settlement:
> 
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/2276621.stm
> 
> About royalties, I would think that if the work were performed under the name Cage gave it, royalties would be due. Fair's fair.


I can only reply O K ( i would use O K Ken but I am sure that is copyright too)

Whenever I think of 4' 33" The Kings New Clothes springs to mind.


----------



## KenOC

Polyphemus said:


> Whenever I think of 4' 33" The Kings New Clothes springs to mind.


If I could get a six-figure settlement over something like that, I'd be wearing fancy new clothes too!

BTW, just found out: 4'33" is 273 seconds. Minus 273 Celsius is absolute zero. Coincidence?


----------



## Polyphemus

Probably not but bloody freezing just the same. Perhaps you could compose a Tone Poem called 273 seconds and you could call it The Glacial Movement. Think of the Royalties.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> **A Poll**
> 
> Hi everybody! I'm a great fan of Stockhausen's _Helikopter-Streichquartett_ (Helicopter Quartet), and have even performed it in various amateur groups in my hometown. I'm wondering which instruments you all favor? Period instruments, or the latest technology? Which sound the best live and on disk? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> A. 4 Light Piston-engined helicopters
> B. 4 light turbine helicopters
> C. 4 twin Engined helicopters
> D. Combination of the above
> E. Other


I've heard that the Eurocopter AS332 Super Puma, a four-bladed, twin-engine, medium-size utility helicopter, gives good results in the Helikopter-Streichquartett, but it's notorious for unwanted percussion effects when it ditches in the sea...


----------



## millionrainbows

Skilmarilion said:


> If Wagner had written 4′33″, would he have actually written it as 4days'19hours"?


It ain't over until the fat lady doesn't sing.

*Wagner's 4'33":* A refreshing departure from his usual bombast. They say he had been reading too much Schopenhauer, and tried to "lose" his own ego in the Eastern style.

He quickly passed through this phase, so it's not fair to judge him by this one work.

He later did some interesting things with "prepared singers," where he put various objects (marbles, shrimp, sausages, etc.) and solutions down the throats of the singers. The oatmeal produced an interesting effect. The baking soda and vinegar preparation was spectacular, producing a huge pool of foam around the singer.


----------



## Mahlerian

Polyphemus said:


> Whenever I think of 4' 33" The Kings New Clothes springs to mind.


Why? It doesn't pretend to be something it's not. It is a frame for the sounds that occur during a performance. Call it music or not as you wish, but the majority of 4'33" jokes rest on a misconception of what the piece is supposed to be.


----------



## millionrainbows

*More 4'33" hypothetical stories*

Woody Allen said, "If Wagner had composed 4'33", it would have made me *not* want to invade Poland, but just listen to the sounds occurring while Hitler did."


----------



## millionrainbows

*More 4'33" hypothetical stories

*Toscanini conducted a performance of John Cage's 4'33", with full orchestra, in in the presence of the composer. After it was over, 5'33" later, Cage said "No, no, maestro, too slow, too slow!"

To which Toscanini replied disdainfully, "Hmmph! You obviously know nothing about your music!"


----------



## dgee

Maybe a "4'33 LOLs" thread is in order?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

J.S Cage's 27'18'': a suite for prepared harpsichord in six movements:
Allemande (duration 4'33'')
Courante (duration 4'33'')
Sarabande (duration 4'33'')
Gigue (duration 4'33'')
Minuet (duration 4'33'')
Finale: _Threnody to the victims of Schoenberg_ (duration 4'33'').


----------



## MoonlightSonata

And by the way, I do know that _Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima_ is by Penderecki.


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> And by the way, I do know that _Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima_ is by Penderecki.


Everyone knows that. What most people _are_ a bit unclear on, is what exactly a threnody is.

Oh well. Penderecki wrote boatloads of the most infectious, singable threnodies.


----------



## SONNET CLV

Polyphemus said:


> Does anyone actually get royalties for 4' 33".





KenOC said:


> It seems that Cage's estate sued a British songwriter some years back for a song titled "A One Minute Silence." Here's the story about the six-figure settlement:
> 
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/2276621.stm
> 
> About royalties, I would think that if the work were performed under the name Cage gave it, royalties would be due. Fair's fair.


Gee. All those times I've hummed this piece in public -- while strolling down the street, in cafes and barrooms, even at concerts ... I hope no one connected to the Cage estate ever heard me do so. I don't need any more lawsuits.


----------



## brianvds

Come to think of it, why hasn't some patriotic American composer written a Threnody to the victims of Pearl Harbor yet...?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Should we mock brianvds mercilessly for being unfamiliar with the work of the great Hans Zimmer?":


----------



## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> "Should we mock brianvds mercilessly for being unfamiliar with the work of the great Hans Zimmer?":


Ah yes, but does Mr. Zimmer ever refer to the work as a threnody, and is it for the victims of Pearl Harbor, or is it more properly titled "Sentimental Slush for the Heroes of Pearl Harbor"?


----------



## millionrainbows

*More 4'33" hypothetical stories*: *Stockhausen-inspired 
*
4'33" Helicopter Quartet: Four string players take off in four helicopters, wearing noise-cancelling headphones

4'33" for Four Orchestras

4'33" performance in Carlsbad Caverns

The first notated 4'33", which Stockhausen composed using a complicated system of rests


----------



## millionrainbows

SONNET CLV said:


> Gee. All those times I've hummed this piece in public -- while strolling down the street, in cafes and barrooms, even at concerts ... I hope no one connected to the Cage estate ever heard me do so. I don't need any more lawsuits.


Actually, his name was *Mike Batt,* the creator of The Wombles, a money-making enterprise. He released an LP by his group *The Planets *called *Classical Graffitti,* which contained a one-minute silent track called* A Minute's Silence,* and put the composer as Batt/Cage, as a humorous reference to the Cage composition 4'33". Bad move!

It's more of an identity/misrepresentation issue than the "music being copied."


----------



## millionrainbows

*More 4'33" hypothetical stories

A man in Hibbing, Minnesota was arrested during a performance of John Cage's 4'33" at the Hibbing County Concert Hall last Friday night. He was arrested for creating a disturbance. He was making loud protests during the performance, in which the audience is supposed to be listening to the sounds around them for a prescribed period of four minutes and thirty-three seconds.

The sheriff who made the arrest has a bachelor's degree in fine art, and studied Cage and conceptual art to earn his degree. "It's a clear violation of the piece's intent," the sheriff said. "The guy came to the concert and participated as an audience member, so there was a complicit agreement in viewing the piece that he remain silent and listen."
*


----------



## SONNET CLV

*Another 4'33" hypothetical story ....*

Progressive Silent Films, a film restoration company dedicated to remastering and marketing early pre-sound era movies, has announced a multi-film contract with the John Cage Estate to include musical accompaniments from the late composer's seminal composition 4"33" as incidental music for its silent film restorations. PSF asserted in a statement to the entertainment press that this move is "a real coup enabling the joining of esteemed, progressive, like-minded artistic forces for the general betterment of art". We look forward to the initial releases of this project.


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> Actually, his name was *Mike Batt,* the creator of The Wombles, a money-making enterprise. He released an LP by his group *The Planets *called *Classical Graffitti,* which contained a one-minute silent track called* A Minute's Silence,* and put the composer as Batt/Cage, as a humorous reference to the Cage composition 4'33". Bad move!
> 
> It's more of an identity/misrepresentation issue than the "music being copied."


Whatever it was, I am surprised he agreed to such a large settlement. In his shoes, I'd have gone to court - as far as I know, copyright law does not prohibit satire.

Anyway, I'm sure maestro Cage hugely enjoyed all of these shenanigans over his piece. 

Has anyone yet mentioned that to Beethoven, at least in his later years, ANY piece amounted to 4'33"? In his case, the ambient sound to listen for would be tinnitus.


----------



## SiegendesLicht

brianvds said:


> Anyway, I'm sure maestro Cage hugely enjoyed all of these shenanigans over his piece.


Of course! The shenanigans (and the publicity accompanying them) were his goal in creating this piece, after all.


----------



## dgee

SiegendesLicht said:


> Of course! The shenanigans (and the publicity accompanying them) were his goal in creating this piece, after all.


Really? REALLY???? That's not evident to me at all in what I've read about Cage and 4'33" but happy to be pointed at a some source material. Or is that just speculation?


----------



## Blancrocher

*Post deleted, in case the next post in this thread is intended as a hint that it was ban-worthy.*


----------



## SimonNZ

"What You'd Write If You Were Trying To Get Yourself Banned."


----------



## Ingélou

My resurfaced memories of a past life as a violinist in Lully's vingt-cinq grands violons, with a midi version of one of his unpublished melodies. 

A legal question - would the royalties from an unpublished melody of Lully's go to his heirs or to the person from whose memory it resurfaced?


----------



## hpowders

I deleted a post and received 17 "likes" after I wrote "post deleted". I'm reporting this to the Administrators as it seems something must be wrong with the "like" system. Have any of you experienced a similar problem recently? Discuss.


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> I deleted a post and received 17 "likes" after I wrote "post deleted". I'm reporting this to the Administrators as it seems something must be wrong with the "like" system. Have any of you experienced a similar problem recently? Discuss.


Usually it's the mods thanking you for saving them the trouble. Occasionally they even give me "likes" for posts I considered and decided not to post at all.


----------



## Rhythm

"Could the euphemism, _Thread closed for repairs_, be described as a lame absurdity?"


----------



## brianvds

I'm a psychic medium. Which composer do you want me to channel?


----------



## SimonNZ

Blancrocher said:


> *Post deleted, in case the next post in this thread is intended as a hint that it was ban-worthy.*


No no no! I'm sorry you thought that. In fact It was kind of at my own expense, having written something on another thread which, while I wasn't wanting to get banned, I knew would be stronger language than the "rules" allow. (the offending post got whisked away pretty quickly)


----------



## hpowders

Can we debate to expand the "like" system? Sometimes I like a post lukewarmly; other times I really love posts, you know, by that pithy guy. How can we expand the "like" system so it more accurately expresses how I really feel about a post?


----------



## omega

hpowders said:


> Can we debate to expand the "like" system? Sometimes I like a post lukewarmly; other times I really love posts, you know, by that pithy guy. How can we expand the "like" system so it more accurately expresses how I really feel about a post?


In fact, when I like a post by a pithy guy, I instantly receive a like from him. Is an automat hiding behind him? Can automats like Haydn?

:tiphat:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Can we debate to expand the "like" system? Sometimes I like a post lukewarmly; other times I really love posts, you know, by that pithy guy. How can we expand the "like" system so it more accurately expresses how I really feel about a post?


There should be a "like" button and a "love" button, maybe.
(I also had a thought that maybe if we loved it so much that we were willing to write a 5-movement symphony about it, we should press the "Berlioz" button.)


----------



## hpowders

omega said:


> In fact, when I like a post by a pithy guy, I instantly receive a like from him. Is an automat hiding behind him? Can automats like Haydn?
> 
> :tiphat:


I carefully weigh the post, pros and cons, before I issue a "like". I usually like most of what I read. We have a good group here!!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> There should be a "like" button and a "love" button, maybe.
> (I also had a thought that maybe if we loved it so much that we were willing to write a 5-movement symphony about it, we should press the "Berlioz" button.)


Yes! Yes! A "love" button and....how about a "boo!" button-something one can press to express displeasure without directly criticizing another poster with words and risk violating the TOS agreement.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Fantastic! How about a "This is blatantly wrong" button if somebody says something like "I think Wagner loved Jews at heart" or something, or an "I agree" button for when somebody expresses an unusual view that you agree with. I expect the former would get much more use, knowing TC


----------



## hpowders

Let's not get carried away. A simple pithy "like", "love" "hate" system keeps it simple, no?


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> I'm a psychic medium. Which composer do you want me to channel?


Oooh, Richard Nanes and Saul, because we need much more music with Byootiful melodies and right harmonies.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Yes! Yes! A "love" button and....how about a "boo!" button-something one can press to express displeasure without directly criticizing another poster with words and risk violating the TOS agreement.


I like the "Boo" button idea very much -- as long as some aged hippies or other generation hipsters don't think that means their computer will dispense marijuana to them.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Imaging seeing this at the bottom of every post (using every button idea we came up with):
Like | Love | Boo (N.B. not marijuana) | Hate | This is blatantly wrong | I agree | BERLIOZ! | Share


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> I like the "Boo" button idea very much -- as long as some aged hippies or other generation hipsters don't think that means their computer will dispense marijuana to them.


I think it's a "legal" way to express displeasure without getting into a bannable fight.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Imaging seeing this at the bottom of every post (using every button idea we came up with):
> Like | Love | Boo (N.B. not marijuana) | Hate | This is blatantly wrong | I agree | BERLIOZ! | Share


You left out 4'33"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Let's not get carried away. A simple pithy "like", "love" "hate" system keeps it simple, no?


Good idea. But surely there are different degrees of hate, are there are love?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

What would 4'33'' do? 
Nothing? Or would it mark 4'33'' jokes?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Good idea. But surely there are different degrees of hate, are there are love?


I only know one way to love and I've never received a complaint yet.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> What would 4'33'' do?
> Nothing? Or would it mark 4'33'' jokes?


It's a contemporary "statement".


----------



## shangoyal

How about a "Thanks, prof" button?


----------



## hpowders

shangoyal said:


> How about a "Thanks, prof" button?


Sarcasm wouldn't be approved. I think  already demonstrates that.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I think it's a "legal" way to express displeasure without getting into a bannable fight.





hpowders said:


> You left out 4'33"





MoonlightSonata said:


> Good idea. But surely there are different degrees of hate, are there are love?





MoonlightSonata said:


> What would 4'33'' do?
> Nothing? Or would it mark 4'33'' jokes?





hpowders said:


> I only know one way to love and I've never received a complaint yet.





hpowders said:


> It's a contemporary "statement".


For some reason this won't show PetrB's posts, but had it not been for one of my posts, we would have just had 4 double posts in a row.


----------



## shangoyal

hpowders said:


> Sarcasm wouldn't be approved. I think  already demonstrates that.


What is approved isn't worth it anyway.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> For some reason this won't show PetrB's posts, but had it not been for one of my posts, we would have just had 4 double posts in a row.


That pretty well summarizes it. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

You know it took me 4'33" to write all the "like", "love", "hate" posts. Coincidence or is there a deeper meaning here?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> I'm a psychic medium. Which composer do you want me to channel?





hpowders said:


> You know it took me 4'33" to write all the "like", "love", "hate" posts. Coincidence or is there a deeper meaning here?


Sorry brianvds, Cage has chosen hpowders instead.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> What would 4'33'' do?
> Nothing? Or would it mark 4'33'' jokes?


Ah-hah! Bright-colored rubber bracelet for hipster classical music fans, *"W.W.J.C.D?"*

(Wherever sold, sold with no printed explanation anywhere, you'd have to 'just know.')


----------



## MoonlightSonata

J.C. could also stand for Jesus Christ, Johann Christian (Bach), even Jeremy Clarkson, Jimmy Carter and Jimmy Carr. 
The bracelets could be sold to anyone, not just "hipster classical music fans".


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> J.C. could also stand for Jesus Christ, Johann Christian (Bach), even Jeremy Clarkson, Jimmy Carter and Jimmy Carr.
> The bracelets could be sold to anyone, not just "hipster classical music fans".


Or _Jiminy Cricket_, even -- well, Jiminy would, I think it safe to say, tell us to wish upon a star and to hold on to our dreams because dreams come true -- (but don't tell Disney, they'll demand and get a cut.)

But -- Wow, a real entrepreneur!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

PetrB said:


> Or _Jiminy Cricket_, even -- well, Jiminy would, I think it safe to say, tell us to wish upon a star and to hold on to our dreams because dreams come true -- (but don't tell Disney, they'll demand and get a cut.)
> 
> But -- Wow, a real entrepreneur!


"The exciting new product: PetrB and MoonlightSonata's Ambiguous Bracelets!"


----------



## SimonNZ

Ah, bless the internet: here's rankopedia's list of "Best Non-Jesus Christ Person With JC Initials":

http://www.rankopedia.com/Best-Non-Jesus-Christ-Person-With-JC-Initials/Step1/3184/.htm

Juliet Capulet!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Three cheers for the internet!


----------



## brianvds

shangoyal said:


> How about a "Thanks, prof" button?


I like that one. I would also suggest an "Er, WHAT?" button for those posts no one can make head or tails of.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Imaging seeing this at the bottom of every post (using every button idea we came up with):
> Like | Love | Boo (N.B. not marijuana) | Hate | This is blatantly wrong | I agree | BERLIOZ! | Share


But this is missing the requisite Facebook, Twitter, and all the other social media links! That's just so wrong! 

Octothorpe me!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

PetrB said:


> But this is missing the requisite Facebook, Twitter, and all the other social media links! That's just so wrong!
> 
> Octothorpe me!


#Octothorpe! (I think the social media comes under "Share". I've never used that button. I did use some of the button ideas in my signature though.)


----------



## Cosmos

*Why is Yo Yo Ma on the bathroom floor with a wombat?*










And _what are they plotting?_


----------



## Ingélou

Rameau and Clérambault - how many more composers can you find with a name like Rambo's?

Best music for brushing your teeth to.

Classical pieces suitable for adaptation to a One Man Band.


----------



## hpowders

"Finding the right sucker." Hi all! I'm doing a PhD on the French Baroque and I need a 6-8 page summary of the highlights of that time. Thanks for the help!


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> There should be a "like" button and a "love" button, maybe.
> (I also had a thought that maybe if we loved it so much that we were willing to write a 5-movement symphony about it, we should press the "Berlioz" button.)


I'd welcome a "love" button! I often get the feeling that some people abstain from liking my posts because they in fact _love _them and they feel that just clicking on the "like" button simply wouldn't be enough.


----------



## Polyphemus

PetrB;
Octothorpe me![/QUOTE said:


> There appears to be a few meanings to 'Octothorpe',ancient and modern, but in the spirit of the fellowship of Talk Classical please consider yourself 'Octothorped', with all good will. :tiphat::tiphat::tiphat:


----------



## brianvds

TresPicos said:


> I'd welcome a "love" button! I often get the feeling that some people abstain from liking my posts because they in fact _love _them and they feel that just clicking on the "like" button simply wouldn't be enough.


I feel strongly that we also need a "Screw you guys - I'm going home!" button.










And a "Respect my authority!" button.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Sorry brianvds, Cage has chosen hpowders instead.


Ohhhh the humanity!!!!


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> I'd welcome a "love" button! I often get the feeling that some people abstain from liking my posts because they in fact _love _them and they feel that just clicking on the "like" button simply wouldn't be enough.


Yes. That must be it. There are some posters here on TC that would rather die than ever "like" any of my posts, so a "love" option would most likely draw them out.


----------



## millionrainbows

Like | Share | Hate | Prove It | Blatantly Incorrect | Too Lazy To Respond, But You're Wrong | I Don't Care About This Subject, I Just Want To Derail This Thread


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> I like that one. I would also suggest an "Er, WHAT?" button for those posts no one can make head or tails of.


It could have a sound clip attached, like Scooby-Doo's _Huh?_

Another button though is needed: "I don't think so!"


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> I see a thread "Pieces that have blown you away recently". I hope this isn't dumb, but are you looking for like the soundtrack to the Wizard of Oz or do you mean pieces that have really impacted you in a profound way?


Sigh. Remember when _impact_ was not a verb?


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> Sigh. Remember when _impact_ was not a verb?


It obviously had no impact on me.


----------



## millionrainbows

*More 4'33" Horror Stories*

Shortly before he died, John Cage confided that he regrets having composed 4'33", since it has been the source of so much conflict. He said this is contrary to he Buddhist beliefs, and that he regrets that the piece has caused so much conflict and anger.


----------



## Skilmarilion

millionrainbows said:


> Like | Share | Hate | Prove It | Blatantly Incorrect | Too Lazy To Respond, But You're Wrong | I Don't Care About This Subject, I Just Want To Derail This Thread


Excellent!

[although, you forgot the LMAO @ 4'33" button]


----------



## hpowders

Which piece of classical music best represents the collective humanity of all the active TC members? List your number one choice!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"Hi, I'm a guitarist who wants to switch to the cello, but my cello seems to be missing two strings."


----------



## SimonNZ

...and has only one neck


----------



## MoonlightSonata

And no frets...


----------



## SimonNZ

What? How can I follow the chord charts without frets?


----------



## SONNET CLV

hpowders said:


> Yes. That must be it. *There are some posters here on TC that would rather die than ever "like" any of my posts*, so a "love" option would most likely draw them out.


I clicked the LIKE_ only _'cause I don't want to die ... at least not today. Just so you know, I really didn't spend any time debating the options presented. Maybe I _should_ have, but I didn't. Just so you know.


----------



## hpowders

SONNET CLV said:


> I clicked the LIKE_ only _'cause I don't want to die ... at least not today. Just so you know, I really didn't spend any time debating the options presented. Maybe I _should_ have, but I didn't. Just so you know.


I didn't really mean that literally....


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Hi, I'm a guitarist who wants to switch to the cello, but my cello seems to be missing two strings."


The obvious solution is to switch to viola da gamba, which combines all the best features of guitar and cello. And, many would argue, has a lovelier sound than either.


----------



## hpowders

omega said:


> In fact, when I like a post by a pithy guy, I instantly receive a like from him. Is an automat hiding behind him? Can automats like Haydn?
> 
> :tiphat:


Actually I let my staff handle giving out "likes". I'm too busy creating posts to bother.


----------



## Mahlerian

hpowders said:


> Actually I let my staff handle giving out "likes". I'm too busy creating posts to bother.


I allowed my secretary to hand out a "like" for your post just now. Please contact my support staff if there are any technical difficulties with the transfer.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

hpowders said:


> Actually I let my staff handle giving out "likes". I'm too busy creating posts to bother.


I'm sorry, Mr. Vox's PA is too busy to hand out "likes" today.

With thanks for your enquiry

Under-secretary to Mr. Vox's PA


----------



## MagneticGhost

If you combine the odd numbered Beethoven symphonies with the even numbered Star Trek films - Do you achieve perfection? 
Discuss it so number 1!


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Hi, I'm a guitarist who wants to switch to the cello, but my cello seems to be missing two strings."





brianvds said:


> The obvious solution is to switch to viola da gamba, which combines all the best features of guitar and cello. And, many would argue, has a lovelier sound than either.


... that comes with the added plus that you won't have to ditch the ponytail.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Actually I let my staff handle giving out "likes". I'm too busy creating posts to bother.


I have to do my own 'likes' because my amanuensis is already doing double duty as my biographer.


----------



## hpowders

Mahlerian said:


> I allowed my secretary to hand out a "like" for your post just now. Please contact my support staff if there are any technical difficulties with the transfer.


As a mod, you get support staff for free. I don't.


----------



## hpowders

You folks think this is easy?

Read my autobiography:

The Sorrow and the Pithy

It's all in there.


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> I have to do my own 'likes' because my amanuensis is already doing double duty as my biographer.


I have a good ENT. He can cure amanuensis. My wife was already cured of her awomanuensis.


----------



## hpowders

By the way my support staff DOES NOT work weekends!!


----------



## omega

*Hichcock's The Birds*

Is the soundtrack _4'33_ or is there _no soundtrack at all_?


----------



## hpowders

I never cared for either Tippi Hedrin or the movie.


----------



## hpowders

Gimmee the names of the best Beethoven, Mozart and Brahms.


----------



## MagneticGhost

I Love Classical Music. What's *your* favourite Il Divo album?


----------



## aleazk

Hi, I'm new here and I really _love_ classical music. Please, recommend me some composers (nothing modern or contemporary, please, that noise is not music; mmm, also, nothing baroque or classical, the first is too mathematical and the second cold and superficial; mmm, also, nothing medieval or from the renaissance, too simple)

Oh, yep! I love classical music!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

aleazk said:


> Hi, I'm new here and I really _love_ classical music. Please, recommend me some composers (nothing modern or contemporary, please, that noise is not music; mmm, also, nothing baroque or classical, the first is too mathematical and the second cold and superficial; mmm, also, nothing medieval or from the renaissance, too simple)
> 
> Oh, yep! I love classical music!


Not fond of the romantics either: far too complicated.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Can left-handed people play pianos designed for right-handed people?"


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Not fond of the romantics either: far too complicated.


Too dense, overthought and overwrought. (...actually


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "Can left-handed people play pianos designed for right-handed people?"


Yes, but they have to sit on the lid and play the keyboard 'from above' vs. sitting in front of it.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Not fond of the romantics either: far too complicated.


There are always Wim Mertens, Michael Nyman, Yann Tiersen, Eric Whitacre, and Lodovico Einaudi!

And I think you will really like this. So beautiful, spiritual, accessible, _and so relaxing._
Joep Franssens ~ _Harmony of the Spheres_


----------



## aleazk

MoonlightSonata said:


> Not fond of the romantics either: far too complicated.


mmm, then that confirms my suspicions: you simply don't like music at all.

What about painting, do you like painting? I know a guy in your same situation, you two would get along.


----------



## PetrB

aleazk said:


> mmm, then that confirms my suspicions: you simply don't like music at all.
> 
> What about painting, do you like painting? I know a guy in your same situation, you two would get along.


But, if they don't like music, it means they don't have or recognize human emotion, the human condition. Aren't those at least sorta needed for art, too?


----------



## trazom

"Is the best classical music composed with pure motivations? Is classical music written for money tainted?"

"Please recommend music with the most transcendence, ie. has enough counterpoint."

"Does melody= decadence?"


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Which piece of classical music best represents the collective humanity of all the active TC members? List your number one choice!


All members' favorite pieces, played simultaneously. (The shorter duration pieces can be put on loop / repeat, makes for interesting phasing.)


----------



## hpowders

^^^After 4'33" there would be a noticeable drop out.


----------



## aleazk

PetrB said:


> But, if they don't like music, it means they don't have or recognize human emotion, the human condition. Aren't those at least sorta needed for art, too?


Indeed. A little puzzling to be honest. Maybe they are not the sharp art appreciators they think they are after all... or perhaps they simply have to accept they are not first line players in this camp... well, one can't be good in all the sports simultaneously! If you ask me, I trust more the actual first line players...


----------



## hpowders

Some of the kids at Eastman asked me to ask you about a piano player, Mendel Brendel? Is he like the best or something?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

aleazk said:


> mmm, then that confirms my suspicions: you simply don't like music at all.
> 
> What about painting, do you like painting? I know a guy in your same situation, you two would get along.


I like paintings as long as they are not to bright, which is irritating, or not too dull, or they're boring. I don't like old paintings, they're such clichés. Don't even talk to me about new ones, they're not art.
Watercolours are too blurry. Oil is far too linear. I don't like pencil or chalk.
Canvas irritates me, I hate frescoes too. Sculptures are weird.
Red and yellow are too bright, now I think of it. Purple, blue, green and black are too dull. White is too blank. Pink and orange are weird. Grey and brown are boring.
So just find me something that's not old, new, bright, dull, chalk, pencil, oil, watercolour, canvas, fresco, sculpture, orange, blue, green, pink, yellow, black, grey, brown, red or white and I'll be happy.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

aleazk said:


> mmm, then that confirms my suspicions: you simply don't like music at all.


Don't be silly, I love *ALL* music except renaissance, mediaeval, baroque, classical, romantic and modern.


----------



## brianvds

MagneticGhost said:


> I Love Classical Music. What's *your* favourite Il Divo album?


Ooh, I can't possibly choose! I love them every bit as much as Hooked on Classics, and André Rieu. Looks like we both love classical music!


----------



## Ian Moore

Stupid idea thread - that's easy, this one.


----------



## hpowders

I've been told I have an inferiority complex. Will listening to classical music help me feel superior? If so, which music?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I've been told I have an inferiority complex. Will listening to classical music help me feel superior? If so, which music?


Listen to Wagner. 
Side effects: superiority complex, headaches from your new fortnight-long opera.


----------



## millionrainbows

The Serial Digeridoo: Modern Composers Write for an Ancient Instrument

Serial Jew's Harp: New Approaches

The Serial Tamboura: East Meets West

Serial Music for Musical Saw Ensemble

Serial Chest-Slapping: Serial music Goes Ghetto


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Did Leopold Mozart poison Bach to make room for Wolfgang in six years' time?
Did Rossini stop composing because he had a vision of a future in which his overtures were overplayed?
And...
Did Beethoven Poison Mozart?


----------



## SimonNZ

Seems like the death of Mozart is going to turn out to be like Murder On The Orient Express where its revealed that everyone had a hand in it.

um...spoiler alert


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> Seems like the death of Mozart is going to turn out to be like Murder On The Orient Express where its revealed that everyone had a hand in it.
> 
> um...spoiler alert


Not to mention the conspiracy between all the Bach children to hasten their father's death, though they took their time to get around to do it. Not that any inheritance was the motivation, but once he was dead, their careers could finally take off.

Too, there's that nagging question of Fernyhough's sending Elliott Carter off to a premature grave, to get him out of the way so focus could shift to Fernyhough's works. (BTW, "Ferny hoff" what the hell kind of name is _that?_


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> Seems like the death of Mozart is going to turn out to be like Murder On The Orient Express where its revealed that everyone had a hand in it.
> 
> um...spoiler alert


Thanks for the helpful warning. Maybe next time you could put it BEFORE the spoiler.


----------



## SimonNZ

If you think I'm bad you should hear the preacher at my church, going on about the final chapter when we all know _for a fact_ that nobody there has finished the book yet.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*SPOILER ALERT*
Jesus dies.


----------



## aleazk

*SPOILER ALERT 2* 
To later resurrect and save the girl!

The movie will attach you to the seat!


----------



## KenOC

How come when I flip the CD over I can't hear what's on the other side?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

aleazk said:


> The movie will attach you to the seat!


Rather that than a cross.
I'm glad I have two millennia between me and that crucifix.


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> Listen to Wagner.
> Side effects: superiority complex, headaches from your new fortnight-long opera.


Also, you may feel an overpowering urge to invade Poland.



MoonlightSonata said:


> Did Beethoven Poison Mozart?


Much worse: he got on Haydn's nerves.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> Also, you may feel an overpowering urge to invade Poland.
> 
> Much worse: he got on Haydn's nerves.


WHAT IF BEETHOVEN KILLED HAYDN TOO?!
Now I'm scared.


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> WHAT IF BEETHOVEN KILLED HAYDN TOO?!
> Now I'm scared.


He was too busy threatening to kill everyone else. Besides, why would he be jealous of Haydn? He after didn't learn anything from him, no sirree Bob.

The Second Viennese School: Musical alphabet soup for the troubled soul.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Listen to Wagner.
> Side effects: superiority complex, headaches from your new fortnight-long opera.


Been there done that. I hate Wagner.


----------



## hpowders

Hi! I am studying to be a gastroenterologist and my third year thesis in entitled "Classical Music Which Makes You Want To Vomit". Any input would be appreciated from your vast experiences.


----------



## Cosmos

Poll: Are techno remixes of popular classical works on youtube better than the original? Yes! or Of Course!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Been there done that. I hate Wagner.


Allow me to make the wildest of guesses: not pithy enough.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Allow me to make the wildest of guesses: not pithy enough.


Hey, you can tell within the introductory four minutes of one sustained Eb Triad which opens the first of a quartet of operas the total duration of which is ca. sixteen hours there is nothing there which bodes well for _pithy._


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Hi! I am studying to be a gastroenterologist and my third year thesis in entitled "Classical Music Which Makes You Want To Vomit". Any input would be appreciated from your vast experiences.


Frank Sinatra (isn't that classical?) _But let's not go there!_


----------



## PetrB

*Music that not only makes you want to go to church... 
but also makes you want to throw your money into the collection plate.*

1.) Cite specific pieces.

1.) Explain why they make you want to throw your money into the collection plate.

1.) State if you think throwing money into the collection plate will somehow, some day, 
---get you rewarded with a "Get Out Of Hell, Free!" card.


----------



## Metairie Road

Patronage

Which composer would various historical world leaders choose to patronise?

You can mix and match any world leader with any composer you wish, from any period.

A real life example -

Louis XIV and Jean-Baptiste Lully. A perfect compliment. Lully was a complete a55-kisser who used his pompous music to stoke the considerable ego of the Sun King.

Don't get me wrong, I like Lully's music. If I were king I'd want this bugger on my team to.

But what about?

Henry VIII
Gandhi
Caligula
Margaret Thatcher
Ragnar Hairy-Breeks

Best wishes
Metairie Road


----------



## brianvds

PetrB said:


> *Music that not only makes you want to go to church...
> but also makes you want to throw your money into the collection plate.*
> 
> 1.) Cite specific pieces.


Tallis' Spem in alium



> 1.) Explain why they make you want to throw your money into the collection plate.


'cause the piece brings me to my knees and makes me throw caution overboard.



> 1.) State if you think throwing money into the collection plate will somehow, some day,
> ---get you rewarded with a "Get Out Of Hell, Free!" card.


I doubt it, but it will help fund the choir to keep on performing the work. Anyway, every time I hear it, I go to heaven anyway.


----------



## PetrB

Is "Irish Music" an oxymoron?


----------



## Metairie Road

> 1.) Cite specific pieces.


Kyiv Chamber Choir - Bless the Lord, Praise the Lord, Amen (Russian Orthodox)

From the CD Liturgy of Peace








> 1.) Explain why they make you want to throw your money into the collection plate.


I love Russian choirs. This beautiful piece would certainly make me throw my Rubles into the collection plate.



> 1.) State if you think throwing money into the collection plate will somehow, some day,
> ---get you rewarded with a "Get Out Of Hell, Free!" card.


No.There aren't enough Rubles in the world for that to happen.


----------



## Chronochromie

Favourite Berlioz solo piano work.
Now seriously, did the guy write any? Haven't heard many major composers without some.


----------



## hpowders

Hi. I'm the musical choreographer for the ISIS hate group over in Syria. Hey y'all!!! I need a piece of music that expresses extreme loathing and hatred; something we can use as a National Anthem. All communications confidential!


----------



## Marschallin Blair

hpowders said:


> Hi. I'm the musical choreographer for the ISIS hate group over in Syria. Hey y'all!!! I need a piece of music that expresses extreme loathing and hatred; something we can use as a National Anthem. All communications confidential!


Check with the Israeli Defense Force. They have lots to share.


----------



## PetrB

So. I attended a performance of Beethoven's ninth, and when in the finale it got to the part with that sudden change into the Turkish March section, it cracked me up enough that I was laughing out loud. Those around me got upset, called the usher, who pretty much near forced me to leave.

Was it right to throw me out of the hall because I found the music that funny? I mean, it really is a hysterically funny bit!

I guess the topic is, "When attending a classical concert, is it alright to laugh out loud at the musical jokes and other really funny bits?"

Discuss.


----------



## senza sordino

PetrB said:


> So. I attended a performance of Beethoven's ninth, and when in the finale it got to the part with that sudden change into the Turkish March section, it cracked me up enough that I was laughing out loud. Those around me got upset, called the usher, who pretty much near forced me to leave.
> 
> Was it right to throw me out of the hall because I found the music that funny? I mean, it really is a hysterically funny bit!
> 
> I guess the topic is, "When attending a classical concert, is it alright to laugh out loud at the musical jokes and other really funny bits?"


That's actually a good question. Are we allowed to do something other than clap and/or stand at a concert?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

senza sordino said:


> That's actually a good question. Are we allowed to do something other than clap and/or stand at a concert?


I once stormed out of a theater in the middle of a performance of Beethoven's 3rd because it wasn't heroic enough.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

PetrB said:


> So. I attended a performance of Beethoven's ninth, and when in the finale it got to the part with that sudden change into the Turkish March section, it cracked me up enough that I was laughing out loud. Those around me got upset, called the usher, who pretty much near forced me to leave.
> 
> Was it right to throw me out of the hall because I found the music that funny? I mean, it really is a hysterically funny bit!
> 
> I guess the topic is, "When attending a classical concert, is it alright to laugh out loud at the musical jokes and other really funny bits?"
> 
> Discuss.


Just laugh at the non-existent people queuing up to see a Birtwistle concert-- it's cheaper.


----------



## brianvds

Der Leiermann said:


> Favourite Berlioz solo piano work.
> Now seriously, did the guy write any? Haven't heard many major composers without some.


It's a good question. He was apparently a very good guitar player, but as far as I know, wrote nothing for solo guitar either.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

DiesIraeVIX said:


> I once stormed out of a theater in the middle of a performance of Beethoven's 3rd because it wasn't heroic enough.


Now you're talkin'.


----------



## SimonNZ

Marschallin Blair said:


> Just laugh at the non-existent people queuing up to see a Birtwistle concert-- it's cheaper.


Yes, a thread where we make cheap, and manifestly untrue, shots at modern composers would be a Stupid Thread Idea, indeed. Well done. And thanks for keeping it on topic. Some other people have been known to bring their daffy politics in where its neither needed nor wanted. Can you believe it?


----------



## PetrB

senza sordino said:


> That's actually a good question. Are we allowed to do something other than clap and/or stand at a concert?


I've never been asked to leave or forced to leave a concert, but am that guy who will laugh at what I find to be musical jokes, or perhaps in moments where others may find it 'inappropriate.'

I had the luxury and good fortune to be part of the audience for Stravinsky's 'farewell' (from conducting) tour. He conducted a selected suite from Pulcinella, including some of the tenor songs.

That piece _is_ loaded with good humored gestures, jokes and bits of orchestration. Of course the conductor's back is to us, and unlike Lang Lang, Stravinsky did not turn so many degrees toward the audience to then display the expression on his face in order to help us or tell us what to think or feel. That orchestra and its personnel had worked with Stravinsky before, and the cooperation and great affection between the musicians and the maestro could both be seen and heard.

Nonetheless, because of the piece, the ultimate love-fest and cooperation between players and conductor, in a number of places that night during that piece, about 2,522 people laughed at the jokes, pretty much all in the same places -- ripples of light laughter, intermittent throughout the piece -- each time some joke was understood.

No one got frowned at, no one was asked to leave the hall.

So, yeah, if it is the music itself that is funny, laugh!


----------



## PetrB

DiesIraeVIX said:


> I once stormed out of a theater in the middle of a performance of Beethoven's 3rd because it wasn't heroic enough.


Of course, if anyone thought anything of that at all, either fellow audience members or conductor and players, it could have easily been thought "That guy must have a bad case of the trots and had to dash for the toilets," as much as anything else.

Now, if you'd had the huevos to stand up, cup your hands around your mouth and make a very loud _*Boooo!"*_ *or* if it is still the convention in Europe, _*to whistle as loud as you might as if hailing a taxi*_... you might have made your point clear.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> Yes, a thread where we make cheap, and manifestly untrue, shots at modern composers would be a Stupid Thread Idea, indeed. Well done. And thanks for keeping it on topic. Some other people have been known to bring their daffy politics in where its neither needed nor wanted. Can you believe it?


Oh can I!

Check out post number 1308's regal treatment of Beethoven; or even 1306's politically-neutral offering.

-- Or have you noticed?


----------



## PetrB

Marschallin Blair said:


> Just laugh at the non-existent people queuing up to see a Birtwistle concert-- it's cheaper.


Clearly, someone has never been in the sold-out crowd to see or be a part of the glow and buzz of excitement before going in to hear an all contemporary program; they're rather similar in that sense of keen anticipation like the crowd in the foyer at the opera, if ya didn't know! 

Been to London? Been to Paris / New York / Mudville Flats / Kansas / Petosky, Michigan / Singapore / Khatmandu / Yahoo, Nebraska?

See, you see what you want to see.

At any rate, the cliche and easier pot-shots, like all the ones taken at John Cage's 4'33'' which have all the richness and depth of "knock-knock" jokes we learned when we were four or six years old -- well, you've got a rep far higher than that to maintain!

I'm also prone to go for the most facile and and shallow of lower slam-type jokes myself: 
in the _"Best Karajan Box Set?"_ thread, I clicked on all ready to pop in, _"The Coffin He Was Buried In."_ but another had soooo beaten me to the punch there, that I was spared as having gone on record, completely anyway, as 'the guy who said that.' Lol.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

PetrB said:


> Clearly, someone has never been in the sold-out crowd to see or be a part of the glow and buzz of excitement before going in to hear an all contemporary program; they're rather similar in that sense of keen anticipation like the crowd in the foyer at the opera, if ya didn't know!
> 
> Been to London? Been to Paris / New York / Mudville Flats / Kansas / Petosky, Michigan / Singapore / Khatmandu / Yahoo, Nebraska?
> 
> See, you see what you want to see.
> 
> At any rate, the cliche and easier pot-shots, like all the ones taken at John Cage's 4'33'' which have all the richness of jokes we learned when we were four or six years old -- well, you've got a rep far higher than that to maintain!


You know that Venusberg is my domain and Wagner is the groundskeeper. Why would I incline to come down from such lofty and libidinous heights?

_;D_


----------



## SimonNZ

Marschallin Blair said:


> Oh can I!
> 
> Check out post number 1308's regal treatment of Beethoven; or even 1306's politically-neutral offering.
> 
> -- Or have you noticed?


yeah...I don't think that hpowders is _actually_ the "musical choreographer for ISIS", as he's claiming to be, there

or, more on topic:

"Is hpowders the musical choreographer for ISIS? The evidence mounts."


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> yeah...I don't think that hpowders is _actually_ the "musical choreographer for ISIS", as he's claiming to be, there
> 
> or, more on topic:
> 
> "Is hpowders the musical choreographer for ISIS? The evidence mounts."


Nor I for that matter. . .

One always loves a fair-and-balanced moderation, to be sure.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

PetrB said:


> At any rate, the cliche and easier pot-shots, like all the ones taken at John Cage's 4'33'' which have all the richness and depth of "knock-knock" jokes we learned when we were four or six years old


I think even a four-year old would look down at some of them. They're still fun, though.


----------



## arpeggio

PetrB said:


> So. I attended a performance of Beethoven's ninth, and when in the finale it got to the part with that sudden change into the Turkish March section, it cracked me up enough that I was laughing out loud. Those around me got upset, called the usher, who pretty much near forced me to leave.
> 
> Was it right to throw me out of the hall because I found the music that funny? I mean, it really is a hysterically funny bit!
> 
> I guess the topic is, "When attending a classical concert, is it alright to laugh out loud at the musical jokes and other really funny bits?"
> 
> Discuss.


I have had the opportunity to perform the contrabassoon part in that marvelous work twice. It was fun to play that great contra part. 

A smirk and a chuckle would have been fine. :lol:


----------



## brianvds

In one of his books, Kurt Vonnegut relates how he has always been unable to help himself when he sees someone falling down: he just has to laugh. 

He was attending a ballet concert one day, when a dancer danced off the stage. And then a huge noise ensued that sounded like she had stepped into a bucket and then fell down a spiral staircase. He couldn't help himself: he laughed his head off. No one else in the audience thought it was funny at all, and he got some very angry stares. 

One gets the impression that he would probably get all the musical jokes as well... 

In the same book (if memory serves) he tells the story of a symphony concert he once attended, and close to him, to old ladies were (rather rudely, I would think) chatting while the orchestra was playing. It was one of those pieces where the music gets ever louder and louder, and then suddenly stops. So inevitably, the old ladies were talking ever more loudly.

The music suddenly stopped. One of the ladies shrieked: "I FRY MINE IN BUTTER!!!"

At this point I had to stop reading for while, as I was almost literally rolling around on the floor with laughter. In fact, I just started giggling all over again. Vonnegut sure was one of the funniest guys ever to walk this earth.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Would you give your right hand to be a state registered musician?

You can now in the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria! 

Lose your head! Apply to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, Caliph-in-waiting. Coming to Baghdad soon!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> In the same book (if memory serves) he tells the story of a symphony concert he once attended, and close to him, to old ladies were (rather rudely, I would think) chatting while the orchestra was playing. It was one of those pieces where the music gets ever louder and louder, and then suddenly stops. So inevitably, the old ladies were talking ever more loudly.
> 
> The music suddenly stopped. One of the ladies shrieked: "I FRY MINE IN BUTTER!!!"
> 
> At this point I had to stop reading for while, as I was almost literally rolling around on the floor with laughter. In fact, I just started giggling all over again. Vonnegut sure was one of the funniest guys ever to walk this earth.


A Really, Really Bad Joke: 
Old Lady 1: "How do you get rid of a trombone?"
Old Lady 2: "I FRY MINE IN BUTTER!!!"


----------



## Marschallin Blair

A Gallup poll says that the U.S. Congress has a seven percent approval rating. Israeli intelligence created Hamas. The U.S. government created Al Qaeda. The U.S., Saudi Arabian, and Qatari governments created ISIS.

Why_ shouldn't _one believe that government is generally well-intentioned and fundamentally honest?


----------



## brianvds

TurnaboutVox said:


> Would you give your right hand to be a state registered musician?


I'd give my right hand to be able to play that one Ravel concerto...



MoonlightSonata said:


> A Really, Really Bad Joke:
> Old Lady 1: "How do you get rid of a trombone?"
> Old Lady 2: "I FRY MINE IN BUTTER!!!"


Alas, don't get it.


----------



## Morimur

Marschallin Blair said:


> Why_ shouldn't _one believe that government is generally well-intentioned and fundamentally honest?


BAHAHAHA...yes, and O.J. is innocent.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Morimur said:


> BAHAHAHA...yes, and O.J. is innocent.


Government only killed one-hundred million people last century.

Why shouldn't it be given a second chance?


----------



## PetrB

Marschallin Blair said:


> Nor I for that matter. . .
> 
> One always loves a fair-and-balanced moderation, to be sure.


Until you have taste for the more sensational-over-the-top-pull-out-all-the-stops-no-holds-barred kinda stuff. Then it is time to leave moderation at home, with no need to worry about finding a baby-sitter, because moderation is, uh, so moderate there is no need to worry


----------



## brianvds

Now, now, people. I have immensely enjoyed this thread. I don't want to see it locked. Please take the politics elsewhere.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> I think even a four-year old would look down at some of them. They're still fun, though.


Unfortunately, the are already antique and cliché, but their high rate of occurrence on sites like this makes you feel the membership is littered with people actually four (so to speak) who have just heard / thought up the joke for the first time.

One or two tellings, and whatever the spin or context, 'you've heard'em all' -- and the second time they are heard is already one time too many.


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> Now, now, people. I have immensely enjoyed this thread. I don't want to see it locked. *Please take the politics elsewhere.*


*I second that!*
------------------


----------



## Morimur

Stupid Thread Idea: Who's the greatest _film_ composer?


----------



## hpowders

John Williams. Anything else?


----------



## arpeggio

*I Third This*



brianvds said:


> Now, now, people. I have immensely enjoyed this thread. I don't want to see it locked. Please take the politics elsewhere.


I third this.............


----------



## PetrB

Morimur said:


> Stupid Thread Idea: Who's the greatest _film_ composer?


"_Flame war on TC!_ film at eleven."


----------



## Blancrocher

Hi Everybody! I've become really interested in Stravinsky lately, but I don't think I understand it very well. Now I think I know why. According to the composer, his "music is best understood by children and animals" (The Observer, Oct 8, 1961).

So now my question is, _how do_ children and animals listen to Stravinsky?

Comments, photos, and videos appreciated.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> View attachment 52909
> 
> 
> John Williams. Anything else?


You've just betrayed your entire generation, dude


----------



## PetrB

Blancrocher said:


> Hi Everybody! I've become really interested in Stravinsky lately, but I don't think I understand it very well. Now I think I know why. According to the composer, his "music is best understood by children and animals" (The Observer, Oct 8, 1961).
> 
> So now my question is, _how do_ children and animals listen to Stravinsky?
> 
> Comments, photos, and videos appreciated.


with these:







and these:


----------



## TresPicos

Blancrocher said:


> Hi Everybody! I've become really interested in Stravinsky lately, but I don't think I understand it very well. Now I think I know why. According to the composer, his "music is best understood by children and animals" (The Observer, Oct 8, 1961).
> 
> So now my question is, _how do_ children and animals listen to Stravinsky?
> 
> Comments, photos, and videos appreciated.


I'm fairly sure only _some _animals like Stravinsky. Like deer, polar bears, rabbits, goats, pelicans, dragonflies and slugs.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> I'd give my right hand to be able to play that one Ravel concerto...
> 
> Alas, don't get it.


That's why it's a really, really bad joke. If you got it, it would only be a really bad joke.


----------



## hpowders

Why is America so successful? Throughout its brief history, superior minds seem to come directly from the USA. Arguably the greatest country in the world.
Are Americans inherently superior? Debate and discuss.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why is England so successful? Throughout its long history, superior minds seem to come directly from England or the UK. Arguably the greatest country in the world.
Are English people inherently superior? Debate and discuss.


----------



## senza sordino

Why is Canada so successful? Throughout its history the most superior minds have come from this greatest of countries. Aren't Canadians inherently sup............haha, I just can't finish this thought without laughing hysterically. :lol:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why is France so successful? Throughout its long history, superior minds seem to come directly from France. Arguably the greatest country in the world.
Are French people inherently superior? Debate and discuss.

Why is Italy so successful? Throughout its long history, superior minds seem to come directly from Italy. Arguably the greatest country in the world. 
Are Italian people inherently superior? Debate and discuss.

Why is China so successful? Throughout its long history, superior minds seem to come directly from China. Arguably the greatest country in the world.
Are Chinese people inherently superior? Debate and discuss.

Why is Japan so successful? Throughout its long history, superior minds seem to come directly from Japan. Arguably the greatest country in the world.
Are Japanese people inherently superior? Debate and discuss.

I could go on.


----------



## brianvds

Air guitar versus air conducting: Which is better?

Nigel Kennedy: The Justin Bieber of classical music

Is Richard Clayderman a classical musician?

Why did Shostakovich sell out to the commies?

The Isle of the Dead: What the band should have played as the Titanic went down


----------



## hpowders

Why did Schönberg change his name to Schoenberg when he moved to America? Debate, discuss.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Why did Schönberg change his name to Schoenberg when he moved to America? Debate, discuss.


He was hoping people would not figure out he was a German.


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> He was hoping people would not figure out he was a German.


Works for me. Could be Österreicher.


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> You've just betrayed your entire generation, dude


It's okay. I'll live with this latest threat to my life.


----------



## hpowders

So how come on every list of classical composers, Bach, Beethoven and Brahms are always near the top and Verdi, Wagner and Weber are always listed near the bottom. Verdi, Wagner and Weber ain't so good?

Sine me,
Always curious, always questioning.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Number of bow strings broken during the average performance of the finale of Barber's Violin Concerto: estimate.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Why did Camille Saint-Saëns have a girl's name? Did his parents want to toughen him up?"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> "Why did Camille Saint-Saëns have a girl's name? Did his parents want to toughen him up?"


And what about Carl *Maria* von Weber?

(P.S. It's actually Charles-Camille, just saying)


----------



## brianvds

PetrB said:


> He was hoping people would not figure out he was a German.


Then he should have changed it to "Beautiful Mountain." People would have taken him for Native American.


----------



## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> "Why did Camille Saint-Saëns have a girl's name? Did his parents want to toughen him up?"


And he DID turn out kind of girlish, didn't he?


----------



## KenOC

brianvds said:


> And he DID turn out kind of girlish, didn't he?


More than that. But beyond, I won't touch this.


----------



## SimonNZ

Disproving Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue", then.

on the other hand a Marion grew up to be John Wayne


----------



## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> Disproving Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue", then.
> 
> on the other hand a Marion grew up to be John Wayne


Which makes me wonder why composers don't do what Hollywood stars do, and change their weird or embarrassing names to something more befitting a cultural icon. We could in fact start a whole new thread for posting proposals for such alternative names...


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> Disproving Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue", then.
> 
> on the other hand a Marion grew up to be John Wayne


I always suspected all that hyper macho alpha male was due to a childhood of growing up with that name, getting too many comments from adults and his peers, and the rest of what we got was a reaction to having been called "Marian.'


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> Which makes me wonder why composers don't do what Hollywood stars do, and change their weird or embarrassing names to something more befitting a cultural icon. We could in fact start a whole new thread for posting proposals for such alternative names...


Peter Warlock = Philip Arnold Heseltine, the pseudonym chosen by the composer. A good number of those Hollywood and other 'entertainment industry' name changes were done to avoid given names pretty clearly Semitic or easily thought to be "Jewish," or simply because the name was an awkward mouthful or too plain-sounding. In earlier years, 'foreign' and foreign-sounding names gave many difficulty, the average movie goer far less prone (it was thought) to find _Edda Kathleen van Heemstra Hepburn-Ruston_ easy to recall, pronounce or recall, while _Audrey Hepburn_ worked just fine.

Here are a few names, actors, entertainers and musicians (authors have a long tradition of taking a pseudonym) I think most would think were better for the change:

Albert Brooks; née Albert Einstein (I think you'd change that last name too, movies or no movies

Natalie Wood; née Natalia Nikolaevna Zakharenko (great, if you're going to sing opera and not go for mainstream Hollywood _in the mi 1950's_.)

Greta Lovisa Gustafsson; née Greta Garbo.

Woody Allen; née Allen Konigsberg

Joaquin Phoenix; née Joaquin Rafael Bottom

Ben Kingsley; née Krishna Pandit Bhanji

Alan Alda; née Alphonso d'Abruzzo

Michael Caine; née Maurice Micklewhite

Hulk Hogan; née Terry Jean Bollette (Yep... another 'girlie' name)

Rock Hudson; née Leroy Harold Scherer, Jr.

Elvis Costello; née Declan Patrick McManus

Joan Crawford; née Lucille LeSueur (when your given name sounds like a badly chosen screen-name, pick another

Kirk Douglas; née Issur Danielovitch Demsky

Judy Garland; née Frances Gumm.

Martin Sheen; née Ramon Antonio Gerard Estevez

Fred Astaire; née Frederick Austerlitz
Ginger Rogers; née Virginia Katherine McMath

Helen Mirren; née Ilyena Lydia Vasilievna Mironov

Anne Rice; née Howard Allen O'Brien (so, guy name for a girl, girlie names for the guys -- what were their parents thinking?)

Stevie Wonder; née Steveland Judkins

Dezi Arnas; née Desiderio Albert Arnaz y De Acha III

Cary Grant; née Archibald Alexander Leach

Marilyn Monroe; née Norma Jean Mortensen

Dusty Springfield; née Mary Isobel Catherine O'Brien

Spike Lee; née Shelton Lee

Natalie Portman; née Natalie Herschlag


----------



## KenOC

Two minor examples: Ketèlbey (who added that self-conscious diacritical mark to his birth name) and Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji, who was born Leon Dudley Sorabji, which really didn't sound very exotic.


----------



## brianvds

And Alan Hovhaness was born Alan Vaness Chakmakjian. 

But what I really had in mind was not actual cases (though it turns out there were many and interesting ones, and I certainly do not mind leaning about them!) but proposals for such name changes, infused with TC's unique brand of surreal humour. I can't think of any at the moment, but give me time...


----------



## SimonNZ

We should all have American Indian-style names, based on significant and strong personality traits or events in ones life, given as a right of passage into adulthood.


----------



## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> We should all have American Indian-style names, based on significant and strong personality traits or events in ones life, given as a right of passage into adulthood.


Based on what I have seen in this thread, most of us will become known as Big Chief Talking Bull.


----------



## stevens

hpowders said:


> Why did Schönberg change his name to Schoenberg when he moved to America? Debate, discuss.


Why did Bach pronounce his name Back when he moved to America? Debate and discuss.


----------



## SimonNZ

Would Debussy have minded if I called him Debbie?


----------



## stevens

I have just bought a 16 bit soundmodule, but when I opened it up I discovered that It was much more than 16 pieces. There where hundreds small parts that I now cant put together again. I feel cheated. Whats your reaction to THIS??


----------



## PetrB

stevens said:


> I have just bought a 16 bit soundmodule, but when I opened it up I discovered that It was much more than 16 pieces. There where hundreds small parts that I now cant put together again. I feel cheated. Whats your reaction to THIS??


Outrage -- at false labeling / advertising. Sheer outrage, I tell ya!


----------



## PetrB

Why are digital keyboards called pianos?


----------



## SimonNZ

PetrB said:


> Anne Rice; née Howard Allen O'Brien


Howard? There's no excuse for that.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Composers Last Names Backwards*

The other day I was wearing my William Walton t-shirt that my parents bought me during their vacation in Ischia, and suddenly I noticed _this_ while looking in the mirror: "notlaW." Improvement, if you ask me. Pretty sure I've seen a trazom somewhere on this forum, in fact, which is also a great name. I'm curious about your favorite composers' last names spelled backwards.

My favorite is Hugo Flow.

Thank you for your time.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> Howard? There's no excuse for that.


All I can think of are names given 'in tribute' to some living relative, with some thought / intent of influencing that relative to 'remember you grand-daughter / niece, etc. in your will.' Still, if you think you must, make it a middle name, or one of the middle names, lol.


----------



## PetrB

Blancrocher said:


> *Composers Last Names Backwards*
> 
> The other day I was wearing my William Walton t-shirt that my parents bought me during their vacation in Ischia, and suddenly I noticed _this_ while looking in the mirror: "notlaW." Improvement, if you ask me. Pretty sure I've seen a trazom somewhere on this forum, in fact, which is also a great name. I'm curious about your favorite composers' last names spelled backwards.
> 
> My favorite is Hugo Flow.*


*_Nice!_

Fun, too, are those few names which go easily as translated into English, completely stripping away any of the gloss of exoticism or glamor they have for us English speakers:

Johann Bach, aka John (or Jack) Brook
Famed soprano Elisabeth Schwarzkopf, aka Betty Blackhead
Gioachino Rossini, aka Joachim Red, or the Red, or Russet (and of course, "J.R.")
or my favorite,
Giuseppe Verdi, aka Joe Green.


----------



## brianvds

Having fun with Google translate:

Antonio Vivaldi - Tony the Smoothest (A hitman for the Mob, perhaps?)

Max Bruch - Max Fracture

Carl Orff - Chuck Educational Instruments (Have the frickin' Chinese taken over Google translate?)

Marcel Poot - Marcel Leg

Claude Debussy - Claude from Bussy

Alban Berg - Alan Mountain


----------



## hpowders

If that's what you call fun, please spare me your idea of torture. :lol::lol:

I was born in Bachlyn, New York, by the way.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> If that's what you call fun, please spare me your idea of torture. :lol::lol:
> 
> I was born in Bachlyn, New York, by the way.


aka Breukelen, (all part of Nieuw-Amsterdam, and Tappan Zee, and Haarlem -- the Dutch, you know.)


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> aka Breukelen, (all part of Nieuw-Amsterdam, and Tappan Zee, and Haarlem -- the Dutch, you know.)


Yes. I went to Erasmus Hall High School directly across from the historic Dutch Reformed Church/cemetery.
If I'm to be buried there, I will only pay half.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Blancrocher said:


> *Composers Last Names Backwards*
> 
> The other day I was wearing my William Walton t-shirt that my parents bought me during their vacation in Ischia, and suddenly I noticed _this_ while looking in the mirror: "notlaW." Improvement, if you ask me. Pretty sure I've seen a trazom somewhere on this forum, in fact, which is also a great name. I'm curious about your favorite composers' last names spelled backwards.
> 
> My favorite is Hugo Flow.
> 
> Thank you for your time.


What about Max Reger?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> *Composers Last Names Backwards*
> 
> I'm curious about your favorite composers' last names spelled backwards.
> 
> My favorite is Hugo Flow.
> 
> Thank you for your time.


Probably my favourite English composer spelled backwards is Draw de Ragle, who wrote the famous Angina variations.

On the other hand my favourite French composer spelled backwards is Leirbag Èruaf (love his 
Se llora crab - that's "he cries because of crabs" in English)

Then my favourite Albanian composer is Dlonra Xab, which comes out backwards as Arnold Bax!

And then there's my favourite composer of all time, the mystic Giwdul Nav Nevohteeb...


----------



## hpowders

^^I looked on Amazon. Couldn't find them.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

hpowders said:


> ^^I looked on Amazon. Couldn't find them.


Try No zama instead


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> Try Nozama instead


That's like Serutan they used to advertise a while back as a natural laxative.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

'No Zama' turns out to be 'try' in Zulu. So 'Try No Zama' was an attempt at an erudite pun...


----------



## Musicforawhile

I like the 'I want to scare my neighbours with classical music' one. That should be a proper thread...if you don't post it I will when I get thread posting privileges, anyone know when that will be?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

My wife, my family and I recently had an outing on the train ruined by 20 lads with a huge boom-box playing hip-hop at 130 decibels all the way to Blackpool.

Next weekend I'm considering taking my surround sound Hi-Fi system on the train and playing a Mahler Symphony at 140 decibels to get my revenge.

Does anyone here have any experience of doing this? How do the 'Yobs' tend to react? The train company? 

P.S. Which symphony, and which conductor / orchestra / recording would you recommend I use?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TurnaboutVox said:


> My wife, my family and I recently had an outing on the train ruined by 20 lads with a huge boom-box playing hip-hop at 130 decibels all the way to Blackpool.
> 
> Next weekend I'm considering taking my surround sound Hi-Fi system on the train and playing a Mahler Symphony at 140 decibels to get my revenge.
> 
> Does anyone here have any experience of doing this? How do the 'Yobs' tend to react? The train company?
> 
> P.S. Which symphony, and which conductor / orchestra / recording would you recommend I use?


May I suggest the outer movements of Beethoven's 5th Symphony and the finales of his 9th and Mozart's 41st? Maybe some Wagner would also be appropriate. Just go for the loudest recordings you can find.
I would normally recommend whole symphonies, but somehow the 2nd movememnt of Beethoven 5 doesn't seem appropriate for this purpose.

Edit: Sorry, didn't see the "Mahler" part. I'm afraid I don't know his music very well.


----------



## SimonNZ

"What's the Share option for? If I'm posting on a public forum am I not already sharing?"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"What's the Like option for? Can I not approve of something without saying so?"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"Dog or Cat: What did the Famous Composers have?"


----------



## hpowders

Favorite composers first name Mordecai? Debate and discuss.

What's your favorite piece of undiscovered music? Debate and discuss.


----------



## Blancrocher

**A Poll**

Who made it impossible for you to like popular music?

A. Spinal Tap
B. Weird Al Yankovic
C. Ylvis
D. Pachelbel
E. Other


----------



## Guest

Journey To The Top In A Single Year: The hpowders Post Count Story


----------



## hpowders

I love German, French, Italian and Austrian classical music. My name is John. How come so few great composers were named John? Hope this isn't dumb. I have more questions.


----------



## Blancrocher

**History of Recordings**

Hi Everybody! I'm making a complete list of _all_ the recordings! But I need your help with this massive project! I'd appreciate it if anyone could take any time period they like (minimum 50 years) and make a list of all the recordings produced during it.

I'll take care of everything between 13 billion years ago and 1860.

Thank you in advance for your assistance!


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> I love German, French, Italian and Austrian classical music. My name is John. How come so few great composers were named John? Hope this isn't dumb. I have more questions.


You forget such composers as John Sebastian Bach, John Hummel, John Brahms, John Strauss (there were in fact TWO of them!) etc. etc.

What really bothers me is how few German composers there are that are named Nepomuk. Not that it's my name or anything. I just wonder about it.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> You forget such composers as John Sebastian Bach, John Hummel, John Brahms, John Strauss (there were in fact TWO of them!) etc. etc.
> 
> What really bothers me is how few German composers there are that are named Nepomuk. Not that it's my name or anything. I just wonder about it.


 Nepomuk would make a great name for a kids' summer camp.

"Hey kids! This summer we are sending you to Camp Nepomuk!!" "Why, mom? The gas chamber wasn't available?"


----------



## stevens

How fast can you play the Moonlight sonata mov 1?


----------



## stevens

How many seconds are there between two half-notes?


(I have heard this question in real life)


----------



## Skilmarilion

brianvds said:


> You forget such composers as John Sebastian Bach, John Hummel, John Brahms, John Strauss (there were in fact TWO of them!) etc. etc.


So you banish the mighty John Sibelius to the abyss that is 'etc. etc.'?

Not cool, dude.


----------



## hpowders

John Beljohn, Les Miz.


----------



## stevens

Does Johnny count?


----------



## stevens

Its said that men are more agressive than women. Is this true even when it comes to music?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

stevens said:


> Its said that men are more agressive than women. Is this true even when it comes to music?
> 
> View attachment 53197


In the Quartetto Italiano (not pictured above!), I love the aggressive second violin playing of Elisa Pegreffi


----------



## stevens

SeptimalTritone said:


> In the Quartetto Italiano (not pictured above!), I love the aggressive second violin playing of Elisa Pegreffi


Thanks for the hint! I love it, but can the touch be a little too harsch sometimes?


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Nepomuk would make a great name for a kids' summer camp.
> 
> "Hey kids! This summer we are sending you to Camp Nepomuk!!" "Why, mom? The gas chamber wasn't available?"


Sure you weren't thinking of Camp RepoMuck?


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> Sure you weren't thinking of Camp RepoMuck?


Nah! That one costs too much.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

stevens said:


> Thanks for the hint! I love it, but can the touch be a little too harsch sometimes?
> 
> View attachment 53199


Actually, I love a feisty woman. I want to have Anne Sophie-Mutter dressed in skin-tight black latex come over and whip me.


----------



## hpowders

André Previn says she is very conservative. A g string to her just means a lot of low notes.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"Why is the base clef so called? Sure the trouble clef (which isn't that much trouble) is more common?"


----------



## CBD

I used to be a successful dentist, but I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my secretary and all my patients. I thought very hard about why this could be, and the only factor that I could come up with was that I had just started playing all the works of Ustvolskaya in the waiting room. Could this be the reason I lost all my patients? If I switched to playing either Webern or Schnittke, would they come back?


----------



## Donata

What arias can you meow? I'll go first. I can meow a mean "Un bel di, vedremo." 

If Mozart's chickens said "Bach, Bach, Bach," what did Bach's chickens say? 

Should there be a viola players anonymous hotline? 

My boyfriend only listens to twelve-tone, should I dump him?


----------



## composira

Why do the big cellos stand up?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Donata said:


> What arias can you meow? I'll go first. I can meow a mean "Un bel di, vedremo."


I can't meow any Opera arias, but I can meow the main theme of Beethoven's 5th:

Meow meow meow MEOWWWW!!


----------



## composira

How many champagne flutes shatter in an average performance of the Queen of the Night aria?


----------



## hpowders

I count 8 double basses in my orchestra. So shouldn't that really be counted as 16? Debate, discuss.


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> Actually, I love a feisty woman. I want to have Anne Sophie-Mutter dressed in skin-tight black latex come over and whip me.


Yeah. You've got the right one there, I'm sure.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Why is the base clef so called? Sure the trouble clef (which isn't that much trouble) is more common?"


In the classical era (and possibly some of the romantic era) the cello parts, when they get higher than tenor clef, are notated in treble clef, but an octave higher. This is a really weird practice (because it only makes things more readable by like 1 note), but it's in all of Beethoven etc.

Anyway, I've heard cellists actually refer to this octave treble clef as trouble clef.


----------



## millionrainbows

Earl King's blues setting of Goethe's _The Erlkonig_










Schoenberg and Ping-Pong: A new Dialectic


----------



## stevens

Hello!
I´m a lefthanded pianist and I wonder if anyone knows where I can buy a lefthanded piano. They are really hard to find. I have tried to restring a friends righthanded Steinway but halfway discovered that the bass strings are way to long to fit in the treble section of the piano. When I cut them shorter they didnt sound the same. Any ideas are welcome


----------



## hpowders

Hello. I'm disappointed. There's no music. Why? Debate. Discuss.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> View attachment 53338
> 
> 
> Hello. I'm disappointed. There's no music. Why? Debate. Discuss.


In fact, there is music. Lots of it. It's 4'33'' played on repeat.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

composira said:


> Why do the big cellos stand up?


For that matter, why is there always a slightly bigger violin in a string quartet? Is one of the players always slightly taller, and do they need a different size, like shoes?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> For that matter, *why is there always a slightly bigger violin in a **string quartet?* Is one of the players always slightly taller, and do they need a different size, like shoes?


Yeah! I call it "deep throat!"


----------



## stevens

Hello!
I´m a very successful violinist and here is my question: 
Do you find it appropriate or not to send a sms during a concert as a solist? You know, there are often long and boring orchestra parts in violin concerts and I often spend this time sms:ing my friends. Do you think that looks appropriate or not from the audience point of view?


----------



## SimonNZ

stevens said:


> Hello!
> I´m a very successful violinist and here is my question:
> Do you find it appropriate or not to send a sms during a concert as a solist? You know, there are often long and boring orchestra parts in violin concerts and I often spend this time sms:ing my friends. Do you think that looks appropriate or not from the audience point of view?


No. This is time that should be spent second-guessing the conductor, and getting the orchestra back on the interpretive track you know they should be on. If the conductor is indicating to speed up and get louder, but thats not your view of the piece, then indicate to them to disregard this, slow down and play quieter. Remember: _you're _the star.

However: if you're feeling magnanimous you could always use these breaks to introduce favorite orchestra members to the audience the way rock bands do:

"Ladies and gentlemen: on the oboe: David Jones! Lets hear it ladies and gentlemen! David Jones!"


----------



## SimonNZ

"Champagne flutes: they're not really flutes at all, are they?"


----------



## CBD

Rank Scriabin's Piano Concertos.

How composers would react to which pieces of theirs are famous.


----------



## Donata

The top ten signs you're dating a violist. 

Seven severely wounded as accordionist loses grip.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Beethoven's Operas - Which are your favourites?


----------



## PetrB

How many _Missa Solemni_s did Beethoven write?


----------



## SimonNZ

...and why did he write only one Fifth Symphony?


----------



## PetrB

CBD said:


> Rank Scriabin's Piano Concertos.


Rank Scriabin, Alexander's baby brother?



CBD said:


> How composers would react to which pieces of theirs are famous.


Whoo-hoo, that is one hot potato, and especially if we had it straight and unvarnished from the composer, including what they thought of the general public who adored those favorite works enough to make and keep them popular! 

Good one!


----------



## stevens

Tip of the day!
*GLUE* your tuning pegs and you never need to tune your violin again!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

stevens said:


> Tip of the day!
> *GLUE* your tuning pegs and you never need to tune your violin again!
> 
> View attachment 53376


Why not also glue your flute so you need never tune that again, either?


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why not also glue your flute so you need never tune that again, either?


Well, you might need to re-string the flute one day, but the violin....


----------



## stevens

Hello!
I´m a wellknown and very successful pianist and here is my problem: I often fall asleep during orchestra parts of concerts. Specially those long boooring intros. This is of course very very painful and embarrassing. The concertmaster poked me whith his bow last week to get me start playing in the Mozart 20 D minor (he said I was snoring but I dont believe him). 
Now, is it ok to to drink coffe during the concert? Is reading a newspaper a better solution? How about gaming on my cellphone? Walking around on stage? How would the audience react to that? Any suggestions is anticipated


----------



## Skilmarilion

Dear all. I am a young composer and seek feedback regarding my latest work. I have written a colossal symphony, entitled:

SYMPHONY NO. 1 IN G-FLAT MINOR "A MAGNIFICENT WORK OF EPIC PROPORTIONS" IN 3 MOVEMENTS

It is scored for:

ENORMOUS COMPLIMENTS OF ALL STRINGS
ENORMOUS COMPLIMENTS OF HAMMERS
16 TUBAS
44 TROMBONES
36 TAM TAMS
9 HURDY GURDYS
SAXOPHONE
HARPSICHORD
BASSOON
COLORATURA SOPRANO
GLOCKENSPIEL
MANDOLIN

It will also require:

3 CONDUCTORS

The movements are as follows:

I. Vivace 
II. Bewegt - Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. (Variations on a theme by Mahler)
III. Largo

[The 2nd movement presents 10 variations on the theme played by the Hammer in Mahler's 6th, and is played here by Hammers only. This movement is highly virtuosic and contains elobrate contrapuntal writing which gives the movement a dance-like feel, due to the interplay between each Hammer].

For copyright reasons I only present a 1 minute sample of the score in a reduced form for solo piano. Apologies for this.

I am very keen to hear your thoughts, however I will not appreciate any wise-guy critiques of my orchestration. Many happy returns.


----------



## millionrainbows

Why aren't there any cellos in marching bands?


----------



## stevens

"...a theme by Mahler" ? -Thats an contradiction. You mean a theme by Haydn?


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Why aren't there any cellos in marching bands?


Sit down, millionrainbows, I have something to tell you.


----------



## stevens

millionrainbows said:


> Why aren't there any cellos in marching bands?


-And where are the pianists?


----------



## composira

I made up a new game:
Be a sadist! Which finger would you cut off from a player of a specific instrument? Please explain your decision and name another instrument so the game can continue.


----------



## Mahlerian

stevens said:


> "...a theme by Mahler" ? -Thats an contradiction. You mean a theme by Haydn?


Usually, one only ever sees this kind of false, inflammatory statement about Schoenberg.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

stevens said:


> -And where are the pianists?


And what about organists?


----------



## PetrB

Tone Poems: 
1.) _Where is the poetry?_ 
2.) _How can music rhyme?_

Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> And what about organists?


After my first divorce, I became a celebrated organist and not by choice either!!


----------



## PetrB

composira said:


> I made up a new game:
> Be a sadist! Which finger would you cut off from a player of a specific instrument? Please explain your decision and name another instrument so the game can continue.


Can we include clipping the vocal chords of popera singers? Pretty Please?


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> And what about organists?


On wheeled platforms, A Hammond Electric, and with a very long extension chord on a gigantic spool.
Hey, where there is a will, there is a way!


----------



## hpowders

stevens said:


> -And where are the pianists?


That's why the accordion was invented.


----------



## TresPicos

millionrainbows said:


> Why aren't there any cellos in marching bands?


This is why... 





................


----------



## stevens

Yes! That Woody Allen film comes to mind. But seriously, why arent there any singer in a marching band?


----------



## KenOC

There are of course. But they don't sing.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

KenOC said:


> There are of course. But they don't sing.


And that's often a good thing.


----------



## PetrB

stevens said:


> Yes! That Woody Allen film comes to mind. But seriously, why arent there any singer in a marching band?


They can't walk and form words at the same time.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Which Composer Created The Greatest Carbon Footprint?"


----------



## Blancrocher

The staff assembled at the front of a bar and were ordered to take notes. What was heard?


----------



## Skilmarilion

stevens said:


> "...a theme by Mahler" ? -Thats an contradiction. You mean a theme by Haydn?


--



Mahlerian said:


> Usually, one only ever sees this kind of false, inflammatory statement about Schoenberg.


Absolutely, and lets keep it that way.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

As an antidote to the many 'What do you recommend ...." threads, how about "What pieces of classical music by <insert name/period/instrument/genre of choice> would you recommend to discourage me from listening to more?"


----------



## hpowders

Headphone Hermit said:


> As an antidote to the many 'What do you recommend ...." threads, how about "What pieces of classical music by <insert name/period/instrument/genre of choice> would you recommend to discourage me from listening to more?"


That's easy. Any classical piece inserted into a hollywood movie which guarantees the worst possible performance of it, purposely chosen to re-enforce the ultra-left-wing PC mantra that we are all a bunch of boring nerds who aren't worth knowing.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

hpowders said:


> That's easy. Any classical piece inserted into a hollywood movie which guarantees the worst possible performance of it, purposely chosen to re-enforce the ...... mantra that we are all a bunch of boring nerds who aren't worth knowing.


D'ye mean I'm not a boring nerd?

Sigh - I've worked hard at that for years


----------



## hpowders

Headphone Hermit said:


> D'ye mean I'm not a boring nerd?
> 
> Sigh - I've worked hard at that for years


"Nerd", perhaps, but it's about time people remove the automatic qualifier that seems to be always leashed together with "nerd" and that's "boring". Plenty of very interesting nerds out there.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Hello there. I am a beginner pianist and I have mastered Fur Elise very quickly even though I have only been playing for 2 weeks and I am unable to read music. I believe this to be a sign of my phenomenal gifts, and I envision this to be the beginning of something truly special.

I had planned to spend the next 1-2 years gradually learning more pieces and increasing the difficulty of pieces I play. However I saw the movie _Shine_ last night and I have decided to stop with the bull**** and proceed straight into the deep end. I now desire to learn Rachmaninov's 3rd Piano Concerto and memorise the score in order to give a legendary interpretation with my high school orchestra next week.

My lack of piano training is the one issue here -- thus I am here to seek your help. I am eager to hear any tips you guys may have for me. Ideally I would appreciate any youtube tutorials that are easy to follow and don't take forever to get through. Also, please don't advise me to seek a teacher or any other such nonsense. Kind regards.


----------



## millionrainbows

> Originally Posted by *stevens*
> 
> "...a theme by Mahler" ? -Thats an contradiction. You mean a theme by Haydn?





Mahlerian said:


> Usually, one only ever sees this kind of false, inflammatory statement about Schoenberg.


Ha haa! That's a scream! :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

Skilmarilion said:


> Hello there. I am a beginner pianist and I have mastered Fur Elise very quickly even though I have only been playing for 2 weeks and I am unable to read music. I believe this to be a sign of my phenomenal gifts, and I envision this to be the beginning of something truly special.
> 
> I had planned to spend the next 1-2 years gradually learning more pieces and increasing the difficulty of pieces I play. However I saw the movie _Shine_ last night and I have decided to stop with the bull**** and proceed straight into the deep end. I now desire to learn Rachmaninov's 3rd Piano Concerto and memorise the score in order to give a legendary interpretation with my high school orchestra next week.
> 
> My lack of piano training is the one issue here -- thus I am here to seek your help. I am eager to hear any tips you guys may have for me. Ideally I would appreciate any youtube tutorials that are easy to follow and don't take forever to get through. Also, please don't advise me to seek a teacher or any other such nonsense. Kind regards.


I suggest going directly to Charles Ives' Concord Sonata.


----------



## millionrainbows

Q: I have an acoustic violin, hollow, that I'd like to modify into a solid-body electric violin. How can I do this?

A: Easy! Get a product called Asphaltum, and pour it into the violin body, filling it up completely. After this dries for 24 hours, simply strip off the outer wood shell, mount a pickup on it, and you're ready to go.


----------



## millionrainbows

*The Three Tenors: *Luciano Pavarrotti, Placido Domingo, and that other guy.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

millionrainbows said:


> *The Three Tenors: *Luciano Pavarrotti, Placido Domingo, and that other guy.


I think you mean, my favorite tenor... and those two other guys.


----------



## PetrB

Headphone Hermit said:


> D'ye mean I'm not a boring nerd?
> 
> Sigh - I've worked hard at that for years


*You can repair some damages to your reputation by going on record as saying: *

Bach was one of the most influential composers, like ever.
_*or*_
Beethoven is a romantic composer
_*or*_
Mozart hugely influenced later generation composers
_*or*_
Debussy is a romantic composer

_*or*_ take an easy swipe at contemporary music by making a joke about John Cage's 4'33'' (showing you know nothing of the nature of that piece at all.)

_*or*_ Run endless polls about: 
who is the greatest / fastest: pianist / violinist / 'cellist / singer / conductor
_*(and/or)*_
why modern / contemporary music is just not good -- (or not natural, always good for laughs as well)

_*or*_ do or say anything which shows you up to be the most like to a socially inept and extraordinarily musically uninformed high school sophomore (which is the age limit cutoff, tops, for "excusable -- and maybe still even a bit endearing -- nerd."

[This free (and usually quite expensive) PR spin advice has been given in order to better ensure that TC keeps its recent historic level of posts quality. Because, if it were all intelligent and informed posts all the time, just how boring would that be:?!?]

P.s. If you can manage to fit in all those above listed comments and actions on TC within, say, a two to three week period, your status as nerd to the nth will be fully restored. As far as the past, no worries, mate, the public have a very short term memory and are easily distracted by mere nothings.


----------



## SilverSurfer

millionrainbows said:


> *The Three Tenors: *Luciano Pavarrotti, Placido Domingo, and that other guy.


 Ehem, I'm Catalan like that other guy... but no problem, here some people searched for the last record by some Mr. Tutto Pavarotti :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

When we transfigurate, is it a painful experience? I can't tell from Richard Strauss' music. Debate. Discuss.


----------



## Polyphemus

Richard Strauss is one of the few composers I truly dislike. I find his music overblown and bombastic and almost completely without merit. I spent alot of time in the past listening to his music in an effort to discover if the fault was mine. My mind did not change and what Strauss (R) I had in my collection I passed on.
So certainly Hpowders to transfigurate is in my case a painful experience I forego every time.


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> Richard Strauss is one of the few composers I truly dislike. I find his music overblown and bombastic and almost completely without merit. I spent alot of time in the past listening to his music in an effort to discover if the fault was mine. My mind did not change and what Strauss (R) I had in my collection I passed on.
> So certainly Hpowders to transfigurate is in my case a painful experience I forego every time.


There's a rumor going around that we can actually transfigurate without him!! I dislike Richard Strauss' music too for the same reasons you listed.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> There's a rumor going around that we can actually transfigurate without him!! I dislike Richard Strauss' music too for the same reasons you listed. Others swear by him, but that's their problem. :lol:


Halleluiah I thought I was on a sticky wicket with that one and expected some flak. Its early days yet.


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> Halleluiah I thought I was on a sticky wicket with that one and expected some flak. Its early days yet.


I'm sure there are others on TC who don't see the music of Richard Strauss as gospel.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> When we transfigurate, is it a painful experience? I can't tell from Richard Strauss' music. Debate. Discuss.


Well, if you've ever astral projected in your sleep, and get woke up, it's a jerking sensation, which is quite jarring. I suspect that the "transfiguration jerk" is just as jarring.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Can it be just a coincidence that so much of modern classical sounds like the scream Donald Sutherland did at the end of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers?"

a digression: thinking about this makes me wonder how in the original film Kevin McCarthy could be so sure that Dana Wynter was a copy just because she reacted so impassively to his kiss. Maybe hes just not a good kisser.

oh, erm, yeah: spoiler alert.

and, um, I guess, also: spoiler alert.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Q: Why is Gregorian chant so simple and droney?*

A: Because of the extreme reverb of cathedrals. Chord changes would have sounded like mush.

*Q: Why are there no drums in Gregorian chant?*

A: Same reason. Full bands with PA systems would have sounded like crap in Notre Dame.

*Q: Why are these big cathedrals so echoey?*

A: To simulate early Man's discovery of the spiritual in big underground caves, where he was safe from the wild animals. Also, the extreme reverberation discouraged farts, which would have been clearly audible.

*Q: But, Bach's music is spiritual, and he used chords. How?*

A: Bach was playing in slightly smaller halls, so he was able to use chords and hire a soundman.

*Q: How come African music has so many drums playing all the time?*

A: Because the guys playing them were almost naked, and it all took place outside. This aspect of outdoor nakedness is the main reason drums appeared in Western music so late.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> I'm sure there are others on TC who don't see the music of Richard Strauss as gospel.


Put up hand. To paraphrase Stravinsky, why is it that every time I hear music I dislike, it is by Strauss? 

I don't get his stuff at all. In fact, given the track record of the three most famous Strausses, whether they were related or not, I would suggest that if your name is Strauss, then whatever you do, stay out of music.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> ...I would suggest that if your name is Strauss, then whatever you do, stay out of music.


Stay out of music or get PUNNED TO DEATH.
This also includes people called Bach, Haydn, Liszt and Chopin.


----------



## SONNET CLV

What is your favorite work by a Russian composer with a single syllable surname?

What are your top ten favorite codas?

Who produces more spit during a working day: a professional baseball player, or a professional French horn player?

What is the single greatest note ever composed, and in what piece does it occur? (Or maybe we should make this post: the top ten greatest notes ever composed! … since I'm sure this will spark controversy.)

If I want to be a composer, what do I have to learn first?

What? You mean there is more to Baroque music than Pachelbel's _Canon_? Like, what?

I know that the French have a horn and the English have a horn, but do any other notable countries have 
horns? Or is such a discussion about horns just bull?

Chopin was Polish, so could he play polkas on the accordion?

If a performer adds one note to John Cage's 4'33", does that make the piece twice as hard to play?

If there's a planet out in outer space that has a civilization that makes music, is that music better or worse than our own? And how can we tell for sure?

Does it say anything about my mental stability that I just read through 99 pages of the "Stupid Thread Ideas" post instead of listening to, say, a couple of Mahler symphonies or the complete Wagner _Ring_ cycle?

Should I bother belonging to a classical music forum that sports a 99 page "Stupid Thread Ideas" post? Or should I give it to at least 100 pages before calling it quits?

If a Classical Music Forum's 99 page long "Stupid Thread Ideas" post can move onto page 100, and beyond … is there really any hope at all left for humanity in general?


----------



## brianvds

SONNET CLV said:


> I know that the French have a horn and the English have a horn, but do any other notable countries have
> horns? Or is such a discussion about horns just bull?


Well, down here in Dark Africa, we do have the infamous vuvuzela...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vuvuzela



> If there's a planet out in outer space that has a civilization that makes music, is that music better or worse than our own? And how can we tell for sure?


Their music is pretty cool, once you have transposed it upwards by several octaves so it becomes audible to humans - them aliens are much into infrasound...


----------



## TurnaboutVox

"Stupid Thread Ideas" has reached 99 pages and 1485 posts. Is it the most significant contribution to the TalkClassical forum from that perceptive analyst of modernist music, *millionrainbows*? Will it be his epitaph, in fact?

Discuss!


----------



## aleazk

I'm pretty sure millions' epitaph will be about ratios, God and tonality.


----------



## PetrB

Humor is another word for truth... hats off to Million Rainbows for starting the other most truthful and long-running thread on TC -- that other most truthful thread, _Current Listening,_ being what those who post _are actually listening to._


----------



## PetrB

Classical music:

Is it classical?
... and _why?_

Discuss.


----------



## brianvds

TurnaboutVox said:


> "Stupid Thread Ideas" has reached 99 pages and 1485 posts. Is it the most significant contribution to the TalkClassical forum from that perceptive analyst of modernist music, *millionrainbows*? Will it be his epitaph, in fact?
> 
> Discuss!


It was surely one of his most brilliant ideas for a thread ever.


----------



## hpowders

The thing is many of these stupid thread ideas could have been posted in mainstream classical discussion and they could have gone on for weeks with debate, discussion, fierce anger, monthly banishments; etc, as if they weren't stupid thread ideas. Try it and see!


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> The thing is many of these stupid thread ideas could have been posted in mainstream classical discussion and they could have gone on for weeks with debate, discussion, fierce anger, monthly banishments; etc, as if they weren't stupid thread ideas. Try it and see!


Some of them were and are still going on. (Guilty your honour LOL)


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> Some of them were and are still going on. (Guilty your honour LOL)


I usually don't post thread topics, but I do contribute to them regardless of quality, so I am at the very least, guilty of collaboration.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> I usually don't post thread topics, but I do contribute to them regardless of quality, so I am at the very least, guilty of collaboration.


Halleluiah Brother.


----------



## hpowders

In the movie Winter's Tale, why was the girl playing the finale of Brahms Violin Concerto on the piano, instead of on the violin?
Debate. Discuss. Clarify. References, please.


----------



## Radames

hpowders said:


> The thing is many of these stupid thread ideas could have been posted in mainstream classical discussion and they could have gone on for weeks with debate, discussion, fierce anger, monthly banishments; etc, as if they weren't stupid thread ideas. Try it and see!


Should we re-number all classical works in base 6? That would make 9th symphonies 13th symphonies and make more sense of the 9th symphony curse.


----------



## Skilmarilion

*BREAKING NEWS:* 19 revised editions of Bruckner's 6th Symphony have been discovered in the Austrian National Library. This is cause for celebration among musicologists worldwide, who had for over a century been puzzled to no end by the thought of Bruckner having not revised this symphony. They rest easy tonight.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Was Bruckner wasting his time by trying to finish his 9th, when he could have been revising his Study Symphony another 14 times?

What is the greatest revision that Bruckner made to his symphonies? What is your favourite? Which had the most impact on Ligeti? Which one best represents humanity?

Bruckner revision scholar elimination poll: Who was the greatest?

Poll options:

- Haas
- Nowak
- Neither
- Both
- Maybe
- John Cage


----------



## aleazk

Skilmarilion said:


> Was Bruckner wasting his time by trying to finish his 9th, when he could have been revising his Study Symphony another 14 times?
> 
> What is the greatest revision that Bruckner made to his symphonies? What is your favourite? Which had the most impact on Ligeti? Which one best represents humanity?
> 
> Bruckner revision scholar elimination poll: Who was the greatest?
> 
> Poll options:
> 
> - Haas
> - Nowak
> - Neither
> - Both
> - Maybe
> - John Cage


Bruckner had a big influence on Ligeti. He was obsessed with the idea of intense expression in music as in late romantic music. He made his own take on these things in his piece Lontano. He explains in this rehearsal the particular influence of Bruckner and Tchaikovsky in a very precise way, and exactly which aspects he took from them.



:tiphat:


----------



## Polyphemus

Delighted to see another avid Brucknerian in the T C ranks. Exciting to think of 19 new versions of No 6 I hope the record companies are not too tardy in their response.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

PetrB said:


> Humor is another word for truth... hats off to Million Rainbows for starting the other most truthful and long-running thread on TC -- that other most truthful thread, _Current Listening,_ being what those who post _are actually listening to._


I can assure you all that my post (#1485) was made entirely in the spirit of acknowledging the ironic truth and importance of a good deal of this thread - people, myself included, have posted some of what they are really thinking - and in acknowledgement of my own appreciation of it, and of millionrainbows' contributions to TC.


----------



## stevens

Why cant someone drag and drop more threads into this "stupid thread" thread?


----------



## scratchgolf

Who do you wish would have written a Symphony?
a. J.S. Bach
b. R. Wagner
c. A. Vivaldi
d. J. Haydn


----------



## sharik

millionrainbows said:


> See what ridiculous thread ideas you can come up with!


http://www.talkclassical.com/34454-why-isnt-guitar-modern.html


----------



## stevens

How do you use your guitar? -If you unfortunately have one.


----------



## Rhombic

The importance of second violins in orchestras.


----------



## trazom

"List which moderators are the most dense when it comes to reading subtext."


----------



## brianvds

Rhombic said:


> The importance of second violins in orchestras.


I have actually often wondered about this. Maybe I should go start this one as a real thread...


----------



## SONNET CLV

TurnaboutVox said:


> "Stupid Thread Ideas" has reached 99 pages and 1485 posts. Is it the most significant contribution to the TalkClassical forum from that perceptive analyst of modernist music, *millionrainbows*? Will it be his epitaph, in fact?
> 
> Discuss!





aleazk said:


> I'm pretty sure millions' epitaph will be about ratios, God and tonality.


I, in fact, plan to write millionrainbow's eulogy, which I will model in prose (maybe even in poetry) after Cage's musical work 4'33", and while the eulogy is read aloud, I (or another if I meet my demise first) will accompany the reading with a performance on the organ of the Cage work. That should about say it all!


----------



## SONNET CLV

stevens said:


> How do you use your guitar? -If you unfortunately have one.
> 
> View attachment 53978


Why do I suspect metal wound strings will be hard on the back? Hopefully this will be strung with classical nylon strings.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why are there so many marks for added volume -- accents, sforzandi and the like -- but none for less volume?


----------



## SimonNZ

"Are All Scores In Black And White Or Can I Pay A Bit More And Get Them In Colour?"


----------



## sharik

http://www.talkclassical.com/34629-dark-side-moon-classical.html


----------



## stevens

SimonNZ said:


> "Are All Scores In Black And White Or Can I Pay A Bit More And Get Them In Colour?"


-Buy them in a second-hand bookshop and you get them in black and yellow


----------



## Skilmarilion

aleazk said:


> Bruckner had a big influence on Ligeti. He was obsessed with the idea of intense expression in music as in late romantic music. He made his own take on these things in his piece Lontano. He explains in this rehearsal the particular influence of Bruckner and Tchaikovsky in a very precise way, and exactly which aspects he took from them.


Not so stupid after all then. Apologies are in order. :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

If cable TV existed in Wagner's time, would his operas have been much shorter? Debate, discuss civilly, please.


----------



## hpowders

If cable TV existed in the 18th century, would Beethoven, Mozart and Haydn been practically unknown composers like the current crop of contemporary composers? Debate. Discuss. References, please.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> If cable TV existed in Wagner's time, would his operas have been much shorter? Debate, discuss civilly please,


Highly unlikely probably a 36 season, 18 episode per season, 4 hours per episode. Should keep some people happy.


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> Highly unlikely probably a 36 season, 18 episode per season, 4 hours per episode. Should keep some people happy.


The idea is with something else to keep the folks occupied, such as cable TV, they wouldn't need so much time to kill at the opera house anymore as with the Wagner operas.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> The idea is with something else to keep the folks occupied, such as cable TV, they wouldn't need so much time to kill at the opera house anymore as with the Wagner operas.


Yes you could use the opera house for something useful like a Mahler or Bruckner cycle.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Is "Dark Side of the Moon" chamber music if I listen to it in my front room?


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> Yes you could use the opera house for something useful like a Mahler or Bruckner cycle.


I would love to attend a complete Mahler cycle by a great orchestra and conductor. Would be a fantastic excuse to get away for a week!


----------



## arpeggio

*Symphony*

I just completed my first symphony. Can someone suggest a title?


----------



## PetrB

Headphone Hermit said:


> Is "Dark Side of the Moon" chamber music if I listen to it in my front room?


And it is folk music if you listen to it while sitting on your front porch... and if it is performed in a hall where symphonic classical music is more usually performed, it is then _classical_ music, just has to be, you know, because it is in the symphony hall and uses 'classical instruments'


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> I just completed my first symphony. Can someone suggest a title?


Symphony No. 1. My standard input fee is $17.50. Glad to help.

For a similar fee, I will also insert AC plugs into their appropriate sockets.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Symphony No. 1. My standard input fee is $17.50. Glad to help.
> 
> For a similar fee, I will also insert AC plugs into their appropriate sockets.


*Bandit!* -------------------------------


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> *Bandit!* -------------------------------


It's the going rate. Next week it goes up. COLA kicks in. Better act NOW!!!


----------



## echo

this site could have a kiddies corner - for those that know nothing about music except what they like


----------



## SimonNZ

"Medical Experts Prove Schoenberg's Inability To Put Notes In The Right Place Due To Rare Hand-Eye Coordination Problem"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"Why don't they play Schoenberg as elevator music?"


----------



## arpeggio

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Why don't they play Schoenberg as elevator music?"


Because they might think they are back in Warsaw?


----------



## SimonNZ

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Why don't they play Schoenberg as elevator music?"


Because once they've got all the musicians, instruments and music stands in there there would be no room left for passengers.

I mean, think about it...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> Because once they've got all the musicians, instruments and music stands in there there would be no room left for passengers.
> 
> I mean, think about it...


Maybe what they need is a "Make Your Own Schoenberg" kit to entertain the passengers.
Comes complete with sample tone rows!


----------



## Radames

That idea about 2nd violins got me thinking - why not second cellos? Second horns? Second conductors?


----------



## hpowders

I wouldn't play second clarinet because I don't play second fiddle to anybody!


----------



## TresPicos

Radames said:


> That idea about 2nd violins got me thinking - why not second cellos? Second horns? Second conductors?


The whole concept of a second violin section is just a mystery to me.

You are already in a situation with way too many string players. I mean, look at the flute section. They only need like two or three people there, and they seem to manage. And you don't keep backup flute players sitting next to the regular ones right there in the orchestra pretending to play, do you? No, if a flute player or his flute breaks down or catches fire or something, they are on a skeleton crew, and the concert might be ruined. But as an orchestra owner, you are obviously willing to take that risk.

But then, why are the string instruments so extremely important, so you need layer upon layer of safety nets? Why would you need twenty violins, for example? Just in case? If fifteen of them break down at the same time? I've never ever seen two of them break down. And on top of that redundancy situation, which already must be expensive, you add a whole second violin section? I don't get it. If you have all that money to spend, why don't you just add another flute player? Or another harpist or timpani player? Or raise the salaries for the rest of the players?

A mystery, plain and simple.


----------



## muzik

Second conductors...how?


----------



## TresPicos

Or perhaps this whole second violin business is some kind of mob thing...

- Nice orchestra you have there. 
- Thanks. 
- But you need more strings. 
- No, we're fine. 
- No, you do need more strings. 
- No, there's no need, really. 
- You could use a violin section. 
- We already have one. 
- You could use a second violin section.
- Why?
- In case there is an accident. 
- Accident?
- Yeah. Accidents happen, right?
- I don't know. 
- Well, they do. But with a second violin section, there would be no accidents. 
- Why is that?
- They would make sure. 
- The second violin section?
- Yeah. So, how about it?
- I don't know...
- Well, then there could be accidents. Just saying...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> Or perhaps this whole second violin business is some kind of mob thing...
> 
> - Nice orchestra you have there.
> - Thanks.
> - But you need more strings.
> - No, we're fine.
> - No, you do need more strings.
> - No, there's no need, really.
> - You could use a violin section.
> - We already have one.
> - You could use a second violin section.
> - Why?
> - In case there is an accident.
> - Accident?
> - Yeah. Accidents happen, right?
> - I don't know.
> - Well, they do. But with a second violin section, there would be no accidents.
> - Why is that?
> - They would make sure.
> - The second violin section?
> - Yeah. So, how about it?
> - I don't know...
> - Well, then there could be accidents. Just saying...


I expect the first person in the dialogue is a second-rate violinist.


----------



## Figleaf

echo said:


> this site could have a kiddies corner - for those that know nothing about music except what they like


Hey, that's me you're talking about!

Though actually, not a bad idea at all..


----------



## Radames

muzik said:


> Second conductors...how?


One could conduct the strings and the other the wind instruments. Why not?


----------



## Skilmarilion

Please consider this selection of maestros with wigs: Scarlatti, Vivaldi, Handel, Bach, Haydn & Mozart 

Whose wig was the greatest?

Whose wig is your favourite?

Whose wig had the most influence on 4'33"?

Whose wig best represents humanity?

If Bruckner had worn a wig, would he have looked like Bach?

If Sibelius had worn a wig, would he have looked like Bruckner with a wig?


----------



## hpowders

I wish we had images of these guys WITHOUT the wigs. I might feel a bit closer to their music.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Skilmarilion said:


> Please consider this selection of maestros with wigs: Scarlatti, Vivaldi, Handel, Bach, Haydn & Mozart
> 
> Whose wig was the greatest?
> 
> Whose wig is your favourite?
> 
> Whose wig had the most influence on 4'33"?
> 
> Whose wig best represents humanity?
> 
> If Bruckner had worn a wig, would he have looked like Bach?
> 
> If Sibelius had worn a wig, would he have looked like Bruckner with a wig?


The fundamental question is: Who wore it _best_?


----------



## aleazk

Skilmarilion said:


> Please consider this selection of maestros with wigs: Scarlatti, Vivaldi, Handel, Bach, Haydn & Mozart
> 
> Whose wig was the greatest?
> 
> Whose wig is your favourite?
> 
> Whose wig had the most influence on 4'33"?
> 
> Whose wig best represents humanity?
> 
> If Bruckner had worn a wig, would he have looked like Bach?
> 
> If Sibelius had worn a wig, would he have looked like Bruckner with a wig?


The most remarkable wigs are those from the late 17th century. Ask Sir Isaac!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Which composer would have looked the silliest with a wig?
Which composer would have looked the silliest _without_ a wig?


----------



## millionrainbows

TurnaboutVox said:


> "Stupid Thread Ideas" has reached 99 pages and 1485 posts. Is it the most significant contribution to the TalkClassical forum from that perceptive analyst of modernist music, *millionrainbows*? Will it be his epitaph, in fact?
> 
> Discuss!


It is my albatross, like all "hits" which dog their creators and overshadow their more substantial work...

...like Leonard Bernstein will be remembered for _"I Feel Pretty"_ or John Williams for the _Star Wars_ theme...or Bob Dylan for "Back in the Middle with You," or The Beatles for "Glad All Over," and Trent Reznor for "Yummy Yummy Yummy"...or Chuck Berry for "Surfin' USA" or Bach for "Whiter Shade of Pale"...Mozart for "Music Box Dancer"...Rossini for the _Lone Ranger_ theme...Gounoud for the Alfred Hitchcock theme...Karl Jenkins for Diamond Music...Aaron Copland for "Where's the Beef?...


----------



## hpowders

I hope this isn't stupid but if Rossini composed the Lone Ranger theme, so that means they had TV back then in days of yesteryear?
I have more questions.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> I hope this isn't stupid but if Rossini composed the Lone Ranger theme, so that means they had TV back then in days of yesteryear?
> I have more questions.


No, this was pre-TV, and Rossini got it from a comic book.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> No, this was pre-TV, and Rossini got it from a comic book.


I thought so! Okay. I have other questions, even better than that one!


----------



## millionrainbows

The Most Recognizable Theme in Classical Music: Da Da Da Daaah!

Who wrote "Ta-dahhh!"?

Who wrote the trumpet theme that they play at the Kentucky Derby? 

Who wrote that organ arpeggio they play at baseball games, and why does it keep modulating up to higher keys? Is this due to the influence of Late-Romantic chromaticism?

Who decides what notes trains will play?

Why do French police cars always play an alternating tritone? Is this the influence of Bartok, or Stravinsky?


----------



## SimonNZ

SimonNZ said:


> "Medical Experts Prove Schoenberg's Inability To Put Notes In The Right Place Due To Rare Hand-Eye Coordination Problem"


UPDATE: After extensive computer modelling Schoenberg's music as he intended it to sound has been revealed. Alex Ross, present at the first performance, described it as "like Andre Rieu, but a remarkable seventy years ahead of Rieuovian developments.". He added that a heavily revised second edition of The Rest Is Noise has been started.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> UPDATE: After extensive computer modelling Schoenberg's music as he intended it to sound has been revealed. Alex Ross, present at the first performance, described it as "like Andre Rieu, but a remarkable seventy years ahead of Rieuovian developments.". He added that a heavily revised second edition of The Rest Is Noise has been started.


That would be Pre-Rieuvian, then? Like the pan-pipe music?



hpowders said:


> I hope this isn't stupid but if Rossini composed the Lone Ranger theme, so that means they had TV back then in days of yesteryear?
> I have more questions.


Yup, invented in Byzantine Milan in 890 a.d.


----------



## hpowders

Is giving good customer service at a bookstore more important in the winter than in the summer?
For argument sake, assume the store sells classical music.
Debate and discuss, without fighting please!!


----------



## hpowders

Why play repeats in a Haydn Symphony? Isn't it just as easy to play a movement over if I want to hear the music again?
Debate, discuss. References with musical scores please.


----------



## hpowders

Is it best to boo a symphony after each movement or is it best to wait until the damn thing is over?


----------



## SimonNZ

^If you don't like the seating or the lighting or the conductor's tailoring as he walks out, then there's no reason not to start immediately.


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> It is my albatross, like all "hits" which dog their creators and overshadow their more substantial work...
> 
> ...like Leonard Bernstein will be remembered for _"I Feel Pretty"_ or John Williams for the _Star Wars_ theme...or Bob Dylan for "Back in the Middle with You," or The Beatles for "Glad All Over," and Trent Reznor for "Yummy Yummy Yummy"...or Chuck Berry for "Surfin' USA" or Bach for "Whiter Shade of Pale"...Mozart for "Music Box Dancer"...Rossini for the _Lone Ranger_ theme...Gounoud for the Alfred Hitchcock theme...Karl Jenkins for Diamond Music...Aaron Copland for "Where's the Beef?...


It's a bit like Beethoven being remembered chiefly for the Heiligenstadt testament and the letter to the immortal beloved.


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> Who decides what notes trains will play?
> 
> Why do French police cars always play an alternating tritone? Is this the influence of Bartok, or Stravinsky?


For all we know, they actually did research on which sounds would be most noticeable to the human ear.


----------



## stevens

hpowders said:


> Why play repeats in a Haydn Symphony? Isn't it just as easy to play a movement over if I want to hear the music again?
> Debate, discuss. References with musical scores please.


-Why play repeats in a Haydn symphony? The continuing sounds the same


----------



## SimonNZ

Shouldn't there only be repeats if the audience is yelling out "Bravo! Encore!"?


----------



## Skilmarilion

What is your favourite Mahler Symphony?

- The one where the guy plays a cool horn in the hallway
- The one where an amateur musician comes in and plays violin out of tune
- The one with Dirk Bogarde
- The one where Thor plays the hammer
- The one with the night music that, oddly enough, you never hear in night clubs
- The one he wrote with Deryck Cooke


----------



## millionrainbows

Skilmarilion said:


> What is your favourite Mahler Symphony?
> 
> - The one where the guy plays a cool horn in the hallway
> - The one where an amateur musician comes in and plays violin out of tune
> - The one with Dirk Bogarde
> - The one where Thor plays the hammer
> - The one with the night music that, oddly enough, you never hear in night clubs
> - The one he wrote with Deryck Cooke


- The one with the cows in it
- The one where he has a heart attack (that chord in the 10th)
- The slow movement where Marlon Brando does that horrible thing to that woman (5th, Adagio, used in Last Tango In Paris)
- The one where the whole first movement is a drone...reminds me of Terry Riley (the 1st)


----------



## senza sordino

Pink Floyd was a four man band, does this mean we can classify them as chamber music?


----------



## Guest

senza sordino said:


> Pink Floyd was a four man band, does this mean we can classify them as chamber music?


Best work "scored" for drumkit quartet?


----------



## Morimur

That new Pink Floyd album out yet? The Endless River... that's it. I am anticipating it'll be a disappointment. Still, I am curious.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

arcaneholocaust said:


> Best work "scored" for drumkit quartet?


Greatest work for triangle octet?


----------



## Vaneyes

Never mind (six characters short)..


----------



## TurnaboutVox

senza sordino said:


> Pink Floyd was a four man band, does this mean we can classify them as chamber music?


Yes. Perhaps you'd like to try getting 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond' into the TC Top 50+ Recommended String Quartets list? Are we going to allow 3 stringed instruments and a drum-kit?


----------



## Skilmarilion

Morimur said:


> That new Pink Floyd album out yet? The Endless River... that's it. I am anticipating it'll be a disappointment. Still, I am curious.


As poor as those two albums were w/o Waters, _High Hopes_ was a wonderful song for Pink Floyd to end on. Most likely, they've just gone and ruined that now.


----------



## stevens

senza sordino said:


> Pink Floyd was a four man band, does this mean we can classify them as chamber music?


That depends of what chamber we are talking about


----------



## Mahlerian

TurnaboutVox said:


> Yes. Perhaps you'd like to try getting 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond' into the TC Top 50+ Recommended String Quartets list? Are we going to allow 3 stringed instruments and a drum-kit?


No, but we do allow four stringed instruments and a vocalist (Schoenberg #2), so maybe the drummer can just sing?


----------



## SONNET CLV

Skilmarilion said:


> What is your favourite Mahler Symphony?
> 
> - The one where the guy plays a cool horn in the hallway
> - The one where an amateur musician comes in and plays violin out of tune
> - The one with Dirk Bogarde
> - The one where Thor plays the hammer
> - The one with the night music that, oddly enough, you never hear in night clubs
> - The one he wrote with Deryck Cooke





millionrainbows said:


> - The one with the cows in it
> - The one where he has a heart attack (that chord in the 10th)
> - The slow movement where Marlon Brando does that horrible thing to that woman (5th, Adagio, used in Last Tango In Paris)
> - The one where the whole first movement is a drone...reminds me of Terry Riley (the 1st)


- The one in which the composer totally muffs the classic French nursery tune "Frère Jacques" (or, in English, "Are You Sleeping?, Brother John") a tune which nearly _everybody _knows note for note by heart, except, apparently, Mahler!


----------



## hpowders

Are all the violin sonatas accompanied by piano only the sociable ones? I'm new here and have other good questions.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Why won't you mean-spirited half-witted ******** give me more likes?"


----------



## hpowders

Why do so many of us try to explain the beauty of music, thus depriving it of its mystery?
I read that in a book once.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why are there likes but not dislikes?


----------



## hpowders

Did Bach write unaccompanied violin and cello sonatas because he was basically an introvert? Debate. Discuss.
Examples from manuscripts welcome. Please, no fighting.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Admit it: in your heart of hearts you'd rather be listening to The Spice Girls right now."

edit: make that:

"Admit it: you are listening to The Spice Girls right now (Current Listening, my foot)"


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Did Bach write unaccompanied violin and cello sonatas because he was basically an introvert? Debate. Discuss.
> Examples from manuscripts welcome. Please, no fighting.


What do you mean "no fighting"?! Take that back or else, mister...


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> What do you mean "no fighting"?! Take that back or else, mister...


I don't want my stupid thread closed down. I've worked too hard being stupid to have that happen!! :tiphat:


----------



## SONNET CLV

SimonNZ said:


> "Why won't you mean-spirited half-witted ******** give me more likes?"


I would give you more likes if I could, but it seems the half of the wit I lack is the half that would allow my brain to find the LIKE button on this Forum.


----------



## stevens

Hello!
I have played piano in three years (so i´m very experienced you know) and wonder if ayone have tabs of Rachmaninovs 3:rd pianoconcert.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> What do you mean "no fighting"?! Take that back or else, mister...


Sorry. I almost forgot where I am.

Forgive me?


----------



## hpowders

I am very intelligent yet I hate classical music. I read here that people are superior in intelligence who listen to classical music. So does that make me like only pseudo-intelligent?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Hurt / Heal Great Composers: Pick your least favourite!
I feel this is bad enough to be on here.
I like the idea of finding out the least disliked but I feel the rest needs work.
Yes, I know it's my thread.


----------



## hpowders

I read that Mozart's Requiem is unfinished as of this time. Does anyone know when Mozart will be completing it?
I sort of like how it started....I guess I'm getting kinda anxious. Is something wrong?


----------



## hpowders

The guy who invented language, you think is the same dude who invented music or maybe he was too busy to do both?
Debate. Discuss. Archeological references, please.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

You have 2,756 unread posts .... The top 10 you should read are as follows:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

WHEN is that new Beethoven album coming out?!


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> WHEN is that new Beethoven album coming out?!


He sure HAS been a bit slow of late, but I hear the LSO is doing a few cover versions.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> He sure HAS been a bit slow of late, but I hear the LSO is doing a few cover versions.


The LSO seem to do nothing _but_ covers.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

MoonlightSonata said:


> The LSO seem to do nothing _but_ covers.


yeh - how come they never do any of their own stuff?


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Poll*

A. Aurifil 50wt Mako Cotton Thread
B. Madiera Cotona 80wt
C. Metrosene All Purpose Polyester
D. Gutermann Natural Cotton Thread
E. Other

Please tell me your favorite thread.

Thank you.


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

I'm going for 
C. Metrosene All Purpose Polyester

Just sounds so good.

Poll: 
a) Ruler
b) Pencil
c) Eraser
d) Desk
e) Pen


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> The LSO seem to do nothing _but_ covers.


Yup, they got it covered.


----------



## CBD

How would your favorite composer vote this election? (US citizens only)

Invitation to new forum: _TalkNeoclassical_

Which classical title has the potential for the most unfortunate typo? (I vote Scriabin's White Mass*)

*I've actually seen this typo


----------



## brianvds

CBD said:


> Which classical title has the potential for the most unfortunate typo? (I vote Scriabin's White Mass*)


One could start a whole new thread for this. 

Wagner - The Bling of the Nibelung...

Mozart - Infarction from the Seraglio

Gluck - Ranch of the Blessed Spirits


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> One could start a whole new thread for this.
> 
> Wagner - The Bling of the Nibelung...
> 
> Mozart - Infarction from the Seraglio
> 
> Gluck - Ranch of the Blessed Spirits


One could have such fun renaming Haydn symphonies.


----------



## brianvds

Which do you prefer: conductors lip synching to opera, or to choral music?


----------



## millionrainbows

> Originally Posted by *CBD*
> 
> Which classical title has the potential for the most unfortunate typo? (I vote Scriabin's White Mass*)


Mozart: Mess in C minor

Beethoven: Moonshine Sonata

Copland: Cab fare for the Common Man

Copland: Fanfare for the Common Jerk

Ives: Discord Sonata


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Pithless Pronouncements: Can you sum up your love of music in the most meandering, verbose way possible? I'll start: I quite like the whole 'music' thing because really, at the end of that day, it's actually, in all honesty, really rather nice to listen to, but some of it is nice for different reasons, because it's not nice to listen to, like some of the modern composer people who write very dissonant music that doesn't actually sound nice but it really jolly good nonetheless though I'm sure some people would disagree with me here but then there are people who would disagree with anything, you know, because the world is really a rather disagreeable place on the whole, but piccolos are rather nice, so that all right, not that I play the piccolo or even really want to, it was just an example that I chose for no particular reason, but now I have mentioned it we might as well talk about it [...]

Hmm. I think I prefer Pithy Pronouncements.


----------



## hpowders

Is there a composer you never heard of who is a favorite of yours?


----------



## senza sordino

millionrainbows said:


> Copland: Cab fare for the Common Man


The funniest thing I've read in a while. :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## brianvds

Why do people bother with Strauss waltzes, when he always makes it clear on the sheet music that only three quarters of the piece is finished? Are performers expected to improvise the rest?


----------



## Blancrocher

**A Poll**

Hi Everybody. Please tell me your favorite name of a musical composition.

A. Xenakis: ST/4, 1-080262
B. Peter Bruun: A Silver Bell That Chimes All Living Things Together
C. Mozart: Leck mich im Arsch
D. Haydn: "How do you do?"
E. Debussy: String Quartet in G minor
F. Other

Thanks.


----------



## brianvds

Blancrocher said:


> **A Poll**
> 
> Hi Everybody. Please tell me your favorite name of a musical composition.
> 
> A. Xenakis: ST/4, 1-080262
> B. Peter Bruun: A Silver Bell That Chimes All Living Things Together
> C. Mozart: Leck mich im Arsch
> D. Haydn: "How do you do?"
> E. Debussy: String Quartet in G minor
> F. Other
> 
> Thanks.


What, no mention of Satie? My vote would go for "Truly flabby preludes" or "Three pieces in the shape of a pear."


----------



## millionrainbows

*Turrett's Syndrome in Postings*

This occurs when the brain's normal censoring function fails, and what the person really thinks is revealed in short outbursts. In the following example, the Turrett's outbursts are in brackets:

Could you please help me understand the music *[crap!]* of Elliott Carter? There must be something I don't understand* [I can't stand this stuff!]*. I don't hear any normal melodies *[it's just a bunch of jumping around like a wounded animal]*, and the sounds are very dissonant* [Jesus Christ this stuff reeks!]*. Thank you all very much for your help in this *[I can't wait to see the pitiful responses of those scumbag modernists!]*.


----------



## millionrainbows

*How To Develop Your Perfect Pitch When You Already Have It:*

Learn all 12 note names.


----------



## PetrB

brianvds said:


> What, no mention of Satie? My vote would go for "Truly flabby preludes" or "Three pieces in the shape of a pear."


What, no _Embryons desséchés?_ (dried embryos.)


----------



## PetrB

millionrainbows said:


> *Turrett's Syndrome in Postings*
> 
> This occurs when the brain's normal censoring function fails, and what the person really thinks is revealed in short outbursts. In the following example, the Turrett's outbursts are in brackets:
> 
> Could you please help me understand the music *[crap!]* of Elliott Carter? There must be something I don't understand* [I can't stand this stuff!]*. I don't hear any normal melodies *[it's just a bunch of jumping around like a wounded animal]*, and the sounds are very dissonant* [Jesus Christ this stuff reeks!]*. Thank you all very much for your help in this *[I can't wait to see the pitiful responses of those scumbag modernists!]*.


_Most Excellent!_


----------



## hpowders

I'm new here and see a thread about perfect pitch but nothing on Madison Bumgarner. What gives?


----------



## SimonNZ

^ It offers no advice for selling my screenplay to studio execs, either.


----------



## CBD

Need quick information. Suggest music that would destroy someone's will after being blasted with it for 36 hours. Your help is greatly appreciated.


----------



## Mahlerian

CBD said:


> Need quick information. Suggest music that would destroy someone's will after being blasted with it for 36 hours. Your help is greatly appreciated.


----------



## clavichorder

I'll have to think on this, since I am the proud author of some of the stupidest threads in the community forum, if I may say so.


----------



## fjf

How to get to 10 posts without saying much.


----------



## Blancrocher

Do you enjoy engaging in nuanced ethical discussion of what, when, where, why, and how one should listen to music? If so, please explain.


----------



## hpowders

To become a mod on TC, do I need to make a perfect pitch?


----------



## hpowders

I'm a morning person and was wondering if you have an early music club I could join?


----------



## brianvds

CBD said:


> Need quick information. Suggest music that would destroy someone's will after being blasted with it for 36 hours. Your help is greatly appreciated.


Why 36 hours? Justin Bieber will do the trick in 36 seconds.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> Why 36 hours? Justin Bieber will do the trick in 36 seconds.


I think your watch must be a bit fast; I've never seen it take that long.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Jesus Christ: Did he have perfect pitch?*


----------



## senza sordino

Wembley Stadium, does it have perfect pitch?


----------



## Headphone Hermit

I want to build a double bass (or any other instrument you care to mention) but have no woodworking skills and don't want to use a kit. Any ideas or hints?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Headphone Hermit said:


> I want to build a double bass (or any other instrument you care to mention) but have no woodworking skills and don't want to use a kit. Any ideas or hints?


Yes. Be thankful it's not an organ.


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> *Jesus Christ: Did he have perfect pitch?*


He did indeed. He also gave us modern music by miraculously multiplying the number of tones that composers could choose for any one piece, and turning the simple percussion instruments of his time into the modern piano.


----------



## arpeggio

Did (fill in the blank) kill music?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Was (fill in the blank) the last great composer?


----------



## stevens

Who is the greatest composer ever
Who is your favorite composer
Who is the greatest pianist ever
Who is your favorite conductor
Who are the greatest conductors ever in alphabetic order
Who are your favorite conductors in reverse alphabetic order


----------



## Headphone Hermit

^^^ you missed the crucial one .... Who agrees with me when I make an ill-informed OP?


----------



## hpowders

If Shostakovich killed music, why didn't the Communist regime convict him?


----------



## hpowders

Did Schoenberg emigrate to the USA to avoid conviction for killing music?


----------



## hpowders

If Shostakovich was the last of the best known composers, who was next to last?

I'll start you off with my vote, Mayakovsky.


----------



## Musicforawhile

MoonlightSonata said:


> Was (fill in the blank) the last great composer?


Oh I misread this, I thought it was more like,

Who (fill in the blank) the last composer?

Like who murdered, married, went to bed with, slapped etc. the last composer.


----------



## hpowders

If I have a thread idea that is beyond stupid, do you have a section here for "idiotic thread ideas" where I can post it?

Thank you! I find this web forum a bit overwhelming and I want to get it right.


----------



## Ingélou

Headphone Hermit said:


> I want to build a double bass (or any other instrument you care to mention) but have no woodworking skills and don't want to use a kit. Any ideas or hints?


An art-teacher friend of mine got her pupils making banjos out of biscuit tins, if it's any help.


----------



## hpowders

Ingélou said:


> An art-teacher friend of mine got her pupils making banjos out of biscuit tins, if it's any help.


Yeah, but that's "genius", NOT "stupid". There is absolutely nowhere on TC to post a thread of genius. Too bad. Next life, perhaps.


----------



## hpowders

I seem to be most successful on the "stupid ideas" thread. What does this say about me? Debate. Discuss.
No fighting please. Relevant musical examples welcome.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

hpowders said:


> If I have a thread idea that is beyond stupid, do you have a section here for "idiotic thread ideas" where I can post it?
> 
> Thank you! I find this web forum a bit overwhelming and I want to get it right.


No, no that just goes in the general forum...


----------



## Ingélou

hpowders said:


> I seem to be most successful on the "stupid ideas" thread. What does this say about me? Debate. Discuss.
> No fighting please. Relevant musical examples welcome.


It says that you post more than everyone else.
Reminds me of the old joke: 'Why do white sheep eat more grass than black sheep?' - 'Because there *are* more white sheep.' 

Relevant musical example: Handel, He shall feed His flock.


----------



## clavichorder

What composer wrote the music the best lends itself to the making of phat rap beats?


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> No, no that just goes in the general forum...


Ha! Ha! Ummmm...... yeah! I should have thought of that!


----------



## hpowders

Ingélou said:


> It says that you post more than everyone else.
> Reminds me of the old joke: 'Why do white sheep eat more grass than black sheep?' - 'Because there *are* more white sheep.'
> 
> Relevant musical example: Handel, He shall feed His flock.


I like that and thank you for observing the "no fighting please" admonition. :tiphat:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Which instrument is the best for hitting self-obsessed conductors with?


----------



## Mahlerian

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which instrument is the best for hitting self-obsessed conductors with?


Why, the vibraslap, of course.





That or the flexatone...


----------



## aleazk

Poll: Is the statement in @MoonlightSonata's signature true or false?


----------



## stevens

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which instrument is the best for hitting self-obsessed conductors with?


I suggest a grand piano


----------



## Ingélou

You need to make it look like an accident. A cello should do the trick - you carry it past but 'forget' to remove its endpin - then you accidentally drag it against the conductor's leg, rip his trousers, score his flesh, and say 'oops, sorry' in a loud sincere tone without the least (detectable) trace of irony.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

aleazk said:


> Poll: Is the statement in @MoonlightSonata's signature true or false?


And the other option, "I don't vote in polls like this".


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which instrument is the best for hitting self-obsessed conductors with?


The fountain pen as in pen to paper indicating "You're fired"!


----------



## clavichorder

What classical song impresses girls the most and will make her want me? -The girl I like is an artsy type but she is a red head. Do artsy red heads like Debussy or something?


----------



## hpowders

clavichorder said:


> What classical song impresses girls the most and will make her like me?


Che Gelida Manina from La Boheme by Puccini.

You can thank me in the morning after she's left.


----------



## Posie

I could give you a few answers, Clavi.


----------



## millionrainbows

Was Bartok a vampire?

Was Beethoven a troll?

Was Aaron Copland a horse?


----------



## SimonNZ

Did Jimmy Page revolutionize bowing technique?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> Did Jimmy Page revolutionize bowing technique?


I always did wonder about that. I tried bowing my guitar with my viola bow but could only play the two E strings, as the strings are laid out flat.


----------



## hpowders

My wife and I don't get along. She hates opera. What can I play so she leaves and never comes back?
Debate. Discuss. Musical You Tube examples that are relevant are sincerely welcomed.

Hurry.....pleeeeeeeease!!!!


----------



## hpowders

If Schoenberg did indeed kill music as I read on a TC thread recently, why wasn't he extradited back to Germany to stand trial?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> If Schoenberg did indeed kill music as I read on a TC thread recently, why wasn't he extradited back to Germany to stand trial?


The Germans didn't want to draw attention to music's death as several of their composers (Wagner, Strauss etc) had been involved.


----------



## KenOC

MoonlightSonata said:


> The Germans didn't want to draw attention to music's death as several of their composers (Wagner, Strauss etc) had been involved.


Noted early on, though not allowable as evidence. A re-quote from London, 1855: Wagner and his disciples are "madmen, enemies of music to the knife, who, not born for music, and conscious of their impotence... their being is to prey on the ailing trunk, until it becomes putrid and rotten."

But Wagner said much the same of a particular ethno-religious group, which I will refrain from quoting.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Mahlerian said:


> Why, the vibraslap, of course.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That or the flexatone...


What are your fabourite concertos for vibraslap and orchestra?


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Ingélou said:


> You need to make it look like an accident. A cello should do the trick - you carry it past but 'forget' to remove its endpin - then you accidentally drag it against the conductor's leg, rip his trousers, score his flesh, and say 'oops, sorry' in a loud sincere tone without the least (detectable) trace of irony.


isn't tht how they killed that Bulgarian journalist in London some years ago? No wonder the police couldn't find the cuprit - they assumed it was an umbrella that was used


----------



## IBMchicago

Which composer pre-1900 would have been most receptive to these thing-a-ma-jigs?


----------



## stevens

"A cello should do the trick"

No no no! No cello. Call this "violinist"!


----------



## hpowders

Were shoeshine people of Vivaldi's time called baroque buffs? Debate. Discuss. Relevant musical examples with scores.


----------



## hpowders

If Shostakovich's music is described on TC as "great", what would be an appropriate in proportion adjective for the music of J.S. Bach? Debate. Discuss. Relevant musical examples in score if possible.


----------



## TresPicos

Last week, an American orchestra was touring the city where I live. They played very well, but when the fourth down of the Haydn symphony was about to begin, one of the first violin players started early, which was a bit embarrassing for everyone. Anyway, I was under the impression that American orchestras follow NFL rules, so this false start should have resulted in a 5 yard penalty, and the violinist should have ended up among the woodwinds. However, that didn't happen. So, I thought maybe it was a neutral zone infraction instead, but then the conductor should have been forced back into the audience, and that didn't happen either. I'm feeling kind of stumped here. Anyone got an idea what was going on?


----------



## brianvds

TresPicos, it is indeed weird, the things that orchestras do with Haydn. I once attended a performance of a Haydn symphony where, right in the middle of the frickin' performance, the orchestra went on strike and started walking out, one by one. Quite incredible, really...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> TresPicos, it is indeed weird, the things that orchestras do with Haydn. I once attended a performance of a Haydn symphony where, right in the middle of the frickin' performance, the orchestra went on strike and started walking out, one by one. Quite incredible, really...


Orchestras these days.


----------



## hpowders

If Bach heard his WTC performed these days on piano, would he recognize it? Debate. Discuss. No rancor please.


----------



## Ingélou

hpowders said:


> If Bach heard his WTC performed these days on piano, would he recognize it? Debate. Discuss. No rancor please.


Would someone be subverting the rules if they posted with *rancour*?


----------



## hpowders

Ingélou said:


> Would someone be subverting the rules if they posted with *rancour*?


Across the pond, this is out of my jurisdiction. Post away with all the rancour you desire.

However, a plea to all US citizens, please stifle the rancor. I already have a migraine.


----------



## hpowders

Ingélou said:


> Would someone be subverting the rules if they posted with *rancour*?


Is Bizet's opera Caurmen over there or is it Carmen as it is in the US?


----------



## hpowders

La Fourza del Destino or La Forza del Destino?


----------



## Ingélou

It's Carmen - but it's an opera full of colour and with a blithe humour about a man who loses honour, a tale that ends in dolour.


----------



## hpowders

Ingélou said:


> It's Carmen - but it's an opera full of colour and with a blithe humour that ends in dolour.


So then it's Doloures over there, not Dolores?


----------



## KenOC

hpowders said:


> If Bach heard his WTC performed these days on piano, would he recognize it?


He might say, "What's that? It's kind of nice. But I don't recognize it because I'm dead."

Is that back tooth a moular over there across the ditch? After all, the Brits are famous for their early poular expeditions...


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> He might say, "What's that? It's kind of nice. But I don't recognize it because I'm dead."


You seem to have forgotten the title of this esteemed thread, "Stupid Thread Ideas".

I work quite hard at making these thread topics as stupid as possible.

The reaction should be one of awed delight, not criticism.

By the way, I've been brain dead for years. Hasn't stopped me.


----------



## Taggart

hpowders said:


> Is Bizet's opera Caurmen over there or is it Carmen as it is in the US?


Neither, it's Carperson about life in a factory making anti-smoking products.


----------



## TresPicos

KenOC said:


> He might say, "What's that? It's kind of nice. But I don't recognize it because I'm dead."
> 
> Is that back tooth a moular over there across the ditch? After all, the Brits are famous for their early poular expeditions...


Why aren't Americans famos for anything?


----------



## KenOC

hpowders said:


> The reaction should be one of awesome delight, not criticism.


My delight is always awesome. But awed? That takes a lot.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Why aren't Americans famos for anything?


I had that verb in HS Spanish class: We are famous: Famos.


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> My delight is always awesome. But awed? That takes a lot.


Nice try, but it doesn't divert from criticizing my intentionally stupid post. :lol: :tiphat:


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> I had that verb in HS Spanish class: We are famous: Famos.


And this 113-page thread should vamos.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> And this 113-page thread should vamos.


 Without this thread, what would I do....

Where would I go....


----------



## hpowders

If Bach heard his unaccompanied violin partita #2 played on modern violin with heavy vibrato, would he quiver?
Debate. Discuss. Without rancour, please.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Should authentic recordings of Debussy's music be made using only pre-1918 recording devices?"


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Top-ten operas by a composer who wasn't Italian, didn't visit Italy, never drank Italian wine or ate Italian food


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Taggart said:


> Neither, it's Carperson about life in a factory making anti-smoking products.


Could Carmen be set in a factory making e-cigarettes or nicotine patches? Discuss (or better still, lets have a poll)


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Taggart said:


> Neither, it's Carperson about life in a factory making anti-smoking products.


.... similar to _Tales of Hofperson_ starring Lotte Lehperson, perhaps?


----------



## hpowders

Headphone Hermit said:


> Top-ten operas by a composer who wasn't Italian, didn't visit Italy, never drank Italian wine or ate Italian food


Take this one on the forum and it could go on for years.


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> My delight is always awesome. But *awed*? That takes a lot.


*A*ll *W*e *E*ver *D*emand

Speaking as the Queen's "We".

"How are you Queenie?"
"We are fine. Thanks for asking!"


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Why aren't Americans famos for anything?


We are famos for Amos 
chocolate chip cookies!!


----------



## Musicforawhile

Is it a form of utopian control that we don't have a dislike option, or do we need to be saved from our bloodthirsty, barbaric true selves? 

Viciousness can get out of control with a dislike or thumbs down option. Agree or disagree?

Is there a link between the lack-of-a-thumbs-down-option-on-TC-related pent up rage and the increase in street crime?


----------



## hpowders

Labouriously constructed but refreshingly without rancour, he noted with compleat candour.


----------



## hpowders

Why can't we "like" our own posts? Narcissists demand to know why!!

Why can't we "hate" our own posts? Self-loathers demand equal time!


----------



## Musicforawhile

Erm...laborious?


----------



## hpowders

Post deleted after laborious debate with myself.


----------



## KenOC

Um, labourious?

Or maybe you meant Laborius, the famous but tiresome Roman general.


----------



## mstar

I've heard a Tchaikovsky babpipe concerto mentioned somewhere.... A thread based on something along those lines would definitely keep anyone up all night pondering over it. 
The fact that I'm actually still thinking about something so absurd makes me question myself with a little concern...


----------



## KenOC

mstar said:


> I've heard a Tchaikovsky bagpipe concerto mentioned somewhere.


It was discussed last year. Here's the opener from the story.

MOSCOW - Russian researchers have found the complete score to the long-lost Tchaikovsky Bagpipe Concerto in a dusty drawer at the Old Tretyakov gallery, mislabeled as Rap Lyrics of Johann Strauss Jr. They promptly burned the score.


----------



## brianvds

KenOC said:


> Um, labourious?
> 
> Or maybe you meant Laborius, the famous but tiresome Roman general.


Would that be Laborius Maximus Pedanticus? The one who once crucified hundreds of Gauls for misspelling "Pax Romana"?


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Would that be Laborius Maximus Pedanticus? The one who once crucified hundreds of Gauls for misspelling "Pax Romana"?


Sounds like a true REPUBLIC-an. If a democrat tried that, the Wall Street Journal would say "What Gaul!!"


----------



## hpowders

Laborious Maximus. Laborious Minimus. Sounds like folks studying to be gynecologists.


----------



## hpowders

Can someone please identify this piece? Hold on I'm starting my Victrola...1,2,3....NOW!!!

Anybody???


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> So then it's Doloures over there, not Dolores?


Does your computer display Ingélou as Ingélo?


----------



## hpowders

Ha! Ha! Only if she moves to Roma!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Ha! Ha! Only if she moves to Roma!!


Perhaps by that you mean Rouma...


----------



## brianvds

Was Beethoven better at the piano than Paganini was at the violin?

What is the maximum number of solo instruments that a concerto can be written for?

Tchaikovsky - the Barbara Cartland of music.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> *Was Beethoven better at the piano than Paganini was at the violin?*
> 
> What is the maximum number of solo instruments that a concerto can be written for?
> 
> Tchaikovsky - the Barbara Cartland of music.


They both went ape over a g string.


----------



## millionrainbows

If I like to listen to Furtwangler conducting Wagner, while I'm wearing a Nazi uniform, does that mean I'm anti-semitic, or just that I'm trying to be historically informed?


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> If Schoenberg did indeed kill music as I read on a TC thread recently, why wasn't he extradited back to Germany to stand trial?


Because his penchant at destruction was so profound that he was given immunity, in order to work on the atomic bomb project.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Because his penchant at destruction was so profound that he was given immunity, in order to work on the atomic bomb project.


Thanks. It was nice of you to Teller me this.

Thanks again for the in-Fermi-ation.


----------



## clavichorder

How can I play Scriabin best if my goal is to achieve enlightenment?


----------



## hpowders

On a CD player.


----------



## clavichorder

Should the ideas in this thread become real threads?


----------



## clavichorder

hpowders said:


> On a CD player.


I was thinking the lotus position might help when at the piano. And maybe interjecting a mantra here and there.


----------



## hpowders

clavichorder said:


> Should the ideas in this thread become real threads?


I notice quite a few ideas on the "real threads" have intellectual parity with many of the stupid threads I have painstakingly and proudly proclaim right here.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> If I like to listen to Furtwangler conducting Wagner, while I'm wearing a Nazi uniform, does that mean I'm anti-semitic, or just that I'm trying to be historically informed?


It could simply mean you are "troubled".


----------



## hpowders

clavichorder said:


> I was thinking the lotus position might help when at the piano. And maybe interjecting a mantra here and there.


I was thinking as a "ex-musician".


----------



## MoonlightSonata

clavichorder said:


> Should the ideas in this thread become real threads?


Maybe a new subforum should be created: Stupid Threads.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

hpowders said:


> I notice quite a few ideas on the "real threads" have intellectual parity with many of the stupid threads I have painstakingly and proudly proclaim right here.


Correct! And quite a few of the 'real threads' could get up to the standard on here with a bit more cerebral activity :devil:


----------



## Headphone Hermit

MoonlightSonata said:


> Maybe a new subforum should be created: Stupid Threads.


Yes, but we would need a 'bung into the ST area' button as well as a 'like' one


----------



## hpowders

Headphone Hermit said:


> Correct! And quite a few of the 'real threads' could get up to the standard on here with a bit more cerebral activity :devil:


I agree. Some of the threads "out there" need a bit "more work" to achieve intellectual parity with some threads "over here".


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Did Liberalism* kill creativity in classical music?

* or Socialism or Republicanism or Conservatism or Socialism - replace according to political persuasion


----------



## hpowders

To reveal a secret, if it wasn't for Current Listening and Community Forum (despite the small issue that they owe me 137,653 posts), I might have left a long time ago...and of course, some of my favorite people, whom I will not embarrass here.


----------



## hpowders

Are conservativism and Schoenberg equally responsible for the death of classical music? And if so, what are we going to do about it, people!!!!!


----------



## Ingélou

Should 'current listening' be prosecuted under the trade description act, since it's not possible to be 'currently' listening to anything for more than a moment, and by the time you've posted, the moment has passed?


----------



## Headphone Hermit

^^^ do you mean that I am the only one on here who only posts what is being listened to at that precise moment?


----------



## Mahlerian

Ingélou said:


> Should 'current listening' be prosecuted under the trade description act, since it's not possible to be 'currently' listening to anything for more than a moment, and by the time you've posted, the moment has passed?


I say we monetize "likes" and give the thread the nickname "Currency Listening".


----------



## hpowders

Ingélou said:


> Should 'current listening' be prosecuted under the trade description act, since it's not possible to be 'currently' listening to anything for more than a moment, and by the time you've posted, the moment has passed?


This is well beyond the threshold of "Stupid Thread Ideas" and is much too brilliant for the main forum.

Therefore, we cannot use this one at all. Thank you! Don't call us. We'll call you! NEXT!!!


----------



## hpowders

Mahlerian said:


> I say we monetize "likes" and give the thread the nickname "Currency Listening".


Can these be retroactive to December 2013?


----------



## Headphone Hermit

^^^ there are some who will be paid in Italian lire

can I have mine in gold sovereigns, please?


----------



## Badinerie

How many composers has classical music killed?! And shouldnt the whole Genre be renditioned to Nashville and stand trial for crimes against Humanitarians?


----------



## hpowders

Headphone Hermit said:


> ^^^ there are some who will be paid in Italian lire
> 
> can I have mine in gold sovereigns, please?


Yes. Or Pieces o' Eight!!


----------



## KenOC

Headphone Hermit said:


> Did Liberalism* kill creativity in classical music?
> 
> * or Socialism or Republicanism or Conservatism or Socialism - replace according to political persuasion


It wasn't any of those "isms". It was a specific person, named elsewhere -- or so many claim. But who knows what really happened on that dark Milwaukee sidewalk so many years ago?


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> TresPicos, it is indeed weird, the things that orchestras do with Haydn. I once attended a performance of a Haydn symphony where, right in the middle of the frickin' performance, the orchestra went on strike and started walking out, one by one. Quite incredible, really...


If it was the "Farewell", they were just following directions.


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> Because his penchant at destruction was so profound that he was given immunity, in order to work on the atomic bomb project.


Where everyone was jealous of him when it became clear that his music was more destructive than the bomb they were working on.



hpowders said:


> Thanks. It was nice of you to Teller me this.
> 
> Thanks again for the in-Fermi-ation.


That's just Feyn, man. As long as it didn't Bohr you.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> Where everyone was jealous of him when it became clear that his music was more destructive than the bomb they were working on.
> 
> That's just Feyn, man. As long as it didn't Bohr you.


Bohr me? It Curied me of any Bohrdom I had.


----------



## hpowders

Is the increase in Sibelius symphony playing of TC members recently, directly responsible for the influx of colder weather I'm observing at this time in mid-November?


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Where everyone was jealous of him when it became clear that his music was more destructive than the bomb they were working on.
> 
> That's just Feyn, man. As long as it didn't Bohr you.


Glad you and I seem to be on the same orbital.


----------



## TresPicos

brianvds said:


> What is the maximum number of solo instruments that a concerto can be written for?


Twelve, right? One for each key? Unless one of the instruments is a piano... then I guess 88.


----------



## hpowders

I'm thinking of taking up a musical instrument. The piano is already in tune so that should be easy, right?


----------



## KenOC

Where'd Bernard Herrmann get the money for all those extra letters?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

KenOC said:


> Where'd Bernard Herrmann get the money for all those extra letters?


Same place as Telemann.


----------



## millionrainbows

Headphone Hermit said:


> Did Liberalism* kill creativity in classical music?
> 
> * or Socialism or Republicanism or Conservatism or Socialism - replace according to political persuasion


No, it was Obamacare.


----------



## SimonNZ

If I'm the one that founded the string quartet then why can't I call it "The SimonNZ Plus Three" if I want?


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> Same place as Telemann.


Johann Bach and Johann Hummel and Schumann also shopped there. Sheesh, these Germannn composers...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

So decadent, Hummel - double letters in first and last names. Not middle though - disappointed.


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> So decadent, Hummel - double letters in first and last names. Not middle though - disappointed.


What with two Ns in Johann, Nnepomuk would be overkill. Nepomuk must in any event be the weirdest second name after Ditters.

Which French/Eastern European composer has the most silent/redundant letters in his name? Krzszsyssztoff Penderecszsczki perhaps?


----------



## musicrom

brianvds said:


> What with two Ns in Johann, Nnepomuk would be overkill. Nepomuk must in any event be the weirdest second name after Ditters.
> 
> *Which French/Eastern European composer has the most silent/redundant letters in his name? Krzszsyssztoff Penderecszsczki perhaps?*


I propose: which composer needs MORE letters in their name? Dvorzhak? Anyone have better examples?


----------



## Headphone Hermit

^^^ Bach needs an 'r' in it if you have a posh voice :lol:


----------



## brianvds

musicrom said:


> I propose: which composer needs MORE letters in their name? Dvorzhak? Anyone have better examples?


Wahgner, perhaps. Or Copeland.


----------



## CBD

brianvds said:


> Wahgner, perhaps. Or Copeland.


Schopiann

...................


----------



## brianvds

When Beethoven composed his Farewell sonata, how could he be so sure it would be his last?


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> When Beethoven composed his Farewell sonata, how could he be so sure it would be his last?


Ha! Ha! He wrote it as a "tentative" farewell to someone.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Ha! Ha! He wrote it as a "tentative" farewell to someone.


I know, but this is after all the stupid thread titles thread. ;-)

It's in fact probably my favourite of his sonatas. Yes, I know: one is supposed to prefer his more obvious heavyweight pieces.


----------



## TresPicos

brianvds said:


> When Beethoven composed his Farewell sonata, how could he be so sure it would be his last?


Good question. You would think that he at least knew that his first sonata (the op. 2 no. 1) was his first. Wrong! He didn't know for sure. And that's probably why he didn't call it the "Hello sonata". Turns out there were three unnumbered ones in there as well, written long before the first. The question is, by whom? The Wikipedia article describes them as "lacking a distinct musical identity", so we can't be sure Beethoven wrote them, and neither could he, it seems, or he would have called the first of those unnumbered ones the "Hello sonata". Which he didn't. He should really have contacted Köchel, who sorted out the Mozart oeuvre, but I guess he was just too proud to ask for help.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> I know, but this is after all the stupid thread titles thread. ;-)
> 
> It's in fact probably my favourite of his sonatas. Yes, I know: one is supposed to prefer his more obvious heavyweight pieces.


I like the final affirmative coda of the sonata; that's about it.


----------



## sharik

http://www.talkclassical.com/34987-incomprehensible-occurrences.html


----------



## hpowders

Incomprehensible Occurrences is a fun thread and a fine idea. Most posters seem to like it.

Fun is NOT dumb.

Of course, everyone here is entitled to their opinion.


----------



## sharik

hpowders said:


> Fun is NOT dumb.


yes it is dumb, fun alone is stupid.


----------



## TresPicos

This thread should not be used as a cheap way of criticizing already existing threads that you happen to dislike.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> This thread should not be used as a cheap way of criticizing already existing threads that you happen to dislike.


That's what I was getting at. How would you like to be a poster of a thread on TC and find your thread topic reproduced word for word on "Stupid Thread Ideas". I know if I was the victim of such, I would feel pretty bad.

One can take the "gist" of a thread topic, but "word for word"?


----------



## arpeggio

*Fun Thread*

This suppose to be a fun thread. A few members have no sense of humor and sometimes take these discussions too seriously. I made that mistake way back in page 30?

This is my favorite thread. I would hate to see it closed down because things get out of hand.


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> This suppose to be a fun thread. A few members have no sense of humor and sometimes take these discussions too seriously. I made that mistake way back in page 30?
> 
> This is my favorite thread. I would hate to see it closed down because things get out of hand.


I will do my share to continue making it your favorite thread....unless it's closed down. :tiphat:


----------



## arpeggio

*Fun Thread-Follow Up*

We do make fun of other threads. But there is a line that I have observed that we avoid crossing. We avoid providing direct links to threads we think are silly.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> This thread should not be used as a cheap way of criticizing already existing threads that you happen to dislike.


Very well said and completely on point!!


----------



## millionrainbows

Irregular measure structure in Mozart: Was this on purpose, or because he was weak in math?

Roger Sessions: The Movie, starring Drew Cary


----------



## hpowders

What's the point of Bach writing a two hour mass if he could express the same religious devotion to God in a beautiful incomparable three minute fugue? 

Not stupid but too lazy to post it elsewhere.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> What's the point of Bach writing a two hour mass if he could express the same religious devotion to God in a beautiful incomparable three minute fugue?
> 
> Not stupid but too lazy to post it elsewhere.


A mass would not possess sufficient gravity if it were not, well, massive.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> What's the point of Bach writing a two hour mass if he could express the same religious devotion to God in a beautiful incomparable three minute fugue?
> 
> Not stupid but too lazy to post it elsewhere.


Now you've got me thinking of a two-hour Bach fugue.


----------



## CharlieCello

If Vivaldi was English, would it just be 'One Season'?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Now you've got me thinking of a two-hour Bach fugue.


There are a couple in WTC that are quite long; monumental actually, but only around 6-7 minutes in length.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> A mass would not possess sufficient gravity if it were not, well, massive.


Many of the fugues in WTC are quite massive and monumental and in my opinion have "God's Glory" written all over them. Gravity, oh yes!!


----------



## hpowders

CharlieCello said:


> If Vivaldi was English, would it just be 'One Season'?


Good one!! :lol:


----------



## MagneticGhost

CharlieCello said:


> If Vivaldi was English, would it just be 'One Season'?


More like 365 seasons - not always in one day. 

If he was Spanish it would be one - El Scorchio!!


----------



## millionrainbows

TresPicos said:


> This thread should not be used as a cheap way of criticizing already existing threads that you happen to dislike.


Yeah, that might hurt KenOC's feelings.


----------



## hpowders

Would it be stupid to close Stupid Thread Ideas for repairs?
Debate. Discuss. No rancor please.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Would it be stupid to close Stupid Thread Ideas for repairs?
> Debate. Discuss. No rancor please.


If you do, I'll make it my mission to derail the "incomprehensible occurences" thread. Debate. Discuss.


----------



## MagneticGhost

Should Haydn's Surprise symphony be renamed now it's no longer a surprise?


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> If you do, I'll make it my mission to derail the "incomprehensible occurences" thread.


I don't have the power!


----------



## hpowders

Since Stupid Thread Ideas seems to be the most successful thread on TC, should we make it a Sticky, preserving it for all time?

Poll open 'til December 26, 2014. This is not Florida. Please vote only once.


----------



## MagneticGhost

Why aren't Grieg and Schumann's piano concertos (I'm sure there are others) not called Piano Concerto No.1 like other composers first piano concertos are?


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> I don't have the power!


You can report things. But I haven't insulted anyone, or put anyone down, or violated the TC User Agreement, have I?

We should be here to support one another in the noble pursuit of classical music.

I find your suggestion to close this thread most offensive. Debate. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new here but have been lurking. Why is it on page one of a thread everyone is on topic but by page 33, the thread is virtually unrecognizable. This seems to happen often. Is this a rule here?


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Well, it's not up to me. Hopefully it will stay open.


I love it when you say things like that!


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> You can report things. But I haven't insulted anyone, or put anyone down, or violated the TC User Agreement, have I?
> 
> We should be here to support one another in the noble pursuit of classical music.
> 
> I find your suggestion to close this thread most offensive. Debate. Discuss.


I like it! Whoever wrote it-pure poetry!


----------



## hpowders

Was the relationship between Mme. von Meck and Tchaikovsky a precursor to internet relationships?
Debate. Discuss. With minimal rancor please.


----------



## Posie

Will the real Hector Berlioz please stand up?


----------



## hpowders

Okay. Now what?


----------



## hpowders

Hi. I'm new here. I'm confused. I just played Haydn's Clock Symphony and in synchronizing the second movement with my watch, found the symphony was running fast. Is this normal? I have other good questions. I will ask them one at a time to prevent intellectual overload.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

I was disappointed to find out that Nielsen's fourth symphony was not, as the name implied, Inextinguishable. I could extinguish it by turning down the volume on my CD player.


----------



## SimonNZ

Could Beethoven's third symphony actually be about some barmaid called Erica?


----------



## hpowders

Why does anyone post on Community Forum if the posts aren't credited to you? Should I join TC anyway?
I've always been taught, a good day's pay for a hard day's work. This seems to violate that.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Was the relationship between Mme. von Meck and Tchaikovsky a precursor to internet relationships?
> Debate. Discuss. With minimal rancor please.


It went perfectly well until she sent him nude pics of herself and he realized she's not male.


----------



## sprigofflowers

Beethoven Mozart and Shakespeare walk into a bar,… or did they?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

sprigofflowers said:


> Beethoven Mozart and Shakespeare walk into a bar,… or did they?


I daresay Shakespeare would have been a bit smelly...


----------



## brianvds

sprigofflowers said:


> Beethoven Mozart and Shakespeare walk into a bar,… or did they?


Beethoven and Mozart walked into a bar line. Satie, on the other hand, did not. Can't say about Shakespeare.


----------



## SONNET CLV

millionrainbows said:


> Roger Sessions: The Movie, starring Drew Cary


I hear that John Williams has been contracted to score the sound track for this film. A great choice, in my opinion, since so much of Sessions sounds like the music to_ E.T_. or _Star Wars_.


----------



## hpowders

I'm desperate! I played 17 CD's of Mozart for my friend and she still doesn't like Mozart! What can I do to force her to like it? No torture please.
Thanks for the input.


----------



## ptr

hpowders said:


> I'm desperate! I played 17 CD's of Mozart for my friend and she still doesn't like it. What can I do to force her to like it?
> Thanks for the input.


You need a better matching date/mate service, or why not a TC sub-forum for love starved classical music fans? "The TC Singles Club! -- Classical Match making" 

/ptr


----------



## hpowders

ptr said:


> You need a better matching date/mate service, or why not a TC sub-forum for love starved classical music fans? "The TC Singles Club! -- Classical Match making"
> 
> /ptr


As a young man, I actually did join a CM dating service. It was horrible! So disappointing!!

It really is the devil's work giving some folks such a specialized interest that around 99% of the world isn't "into"!


----------



## millionrainbows

SONNET CLV said:


> I hear that John Williams has been contracted to score the sound track for this film. A great choice, in my opinion, since so much of Sessions sounds like the music to_ E.T_. or _Star Wars_.


Ah, yes, in much the same way that Steven Sondheim's work sounds like his teacher at Yale, Milton Babbitt.


----------



## hpowders

I've been lurking TC for two days now. It is obvious to me the Myaskovsky Sixth Symphony has to be the greatest symphony ever written. Correct? Discuss. Debate.


----------



## hpowders

This female violinist has bare shoulders exposed. I'm wondering if TC has enough clout to prevent this outrageous display of bare skin on album covers in order to sell albums?


----------



## ptr

hpowders said:


> I've been lurking TC for two days now. It is obvious to me the Myaskovsky Sixth Symphony has to be the greatest symphony ever written. Correct? Discuss. Debate.


You are right as always Sir Powdered Wig! Discussion or debate unnecessary!

/ptr


----------



## millionrainbows

What is Beethoven So Mad About?

Mozart: If He Had Played a Sport, Would He Have Lived Longer?

John Cage: What's So Funny to Him All the Time?

David Tudor: Shoeshine Boy to the Darmstadt Composers

Why Do Composers Get Uglier As Their Music Gets Prettier?

Bruckner: Hit With An Ugly Stick

What Is Toscannini So Mad About?


----------



## hpowders

ptr said:


> You are right as always Sir Powdered Wig! Discussion or debate unnecessary!
> 
> /ptr


Surely one can find some way to make this new dumb thread last 8 months or so? Disappointing as there are so many dumber threads out there in which some of the earlier posters have died already.


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> Mozart: If He Had Played a Sport, Would He Have Lived Longer?


Are billiards players in danger of dying young?


----------



## MagneticGhost

Marmite - Can you make me love it? 
Apparently you either love it or hate it. I just find I'm slightly indifferent. Can anyone suggest ways I can increase my feelings for this polarising spread.


----------



## hpowders

Can a computer be programmed to compose what Mozart would have sounded like if he lived another ten years, based on his final compositions?


----------



## MagneticGhost

hpowders said:


> Can a computer be programmed to compose what Mozart would have sounded like if he lived another ten years, based on his final compositions?


Apparently they programmed one to compose music for 150 years after his death and his music was indistinguishable from the 20th Century Great that was Myaskovsky


----------



## hpowders

MagneticGhost said:


> Apparently they programmed one to compose music for 150 years after his death and his music was indistinguishable from the 20th Century Great that was Myakovsky


I was playing the Mahler 8 rather loudly last night and a concerned group of neighbors rang my doorbell; fearing for the worst, I had gun in holster, opened the door and they gave me a petition signed by 23 of my neighbors practically demanding I play the Myaskovsky Sixth Symphony. When I replied that I not only didn't have it, but haven't even heard it, the lady who gave me the petition rudely exclaimed, "Yeah, right!!!"


----------



## millionrainbows

*More 4'33" horror stories*

I was playing Cage's 4'33" very loudly last night, with subwoofers. The silence opened up a dimensional vortex, and sucked the neighbor's dog in.

Luckily, I had recorded this track into my LOGIC program, and the file was visible. I used the AudioSuite software to reverse the file; it took a few minutes to do this, as there were millions of samples to deal with.

I burned the reversed file to CD, and then took it into the living room and began playing it loudly on the big system. Fortunately, this had the effect of reversing the dimensional vortex effect, and Fido popped out, unharmed.


----------



## MagneticGhost

millionrainbows said:


> *More 4'33" horror stories*
> 
> I was playing Cage's 4'33" very loudly last night, with subwoofers. The silence opened up a dimensional vortex, and sucked the neighbor's dog in.
> 
> Luckily, I had recorded this track into my LOGIC program, and the file was visible. I used the AudioSuite software to reverse the file; it took a few minutes to do this, as there were millions of samples to deal with.
> 
> I burned the reversed file to CD, and then took it into the living room and began playing it loudly on the big system. Fortunately, this had the effect of reversing the dimensional vortex effect, and Fido popped out, unharmed.


The same thing happened with me, except it was my neighbour's cat - Felix. Amazingly he was completely unharmed - So we call him 'Lucky' now instead.


----------



## millionrainbows

I have my girlfriend tied up in the living room, forcing her to listen to Mozart's complete works for the fifth time. She's getting weaker and dehydrated, but is still resistant to Mozart. Should I continue? I'm afraid she'll pass out soon.


----------



## millionrainbows

MagneticGhost said:


> The same thing happened with me, except it was my neighbour's cat - Felix. Amazingly he was completely unharmed - So we call him 'Lucky' now instead.


I hear they're using this piece out in Florida now, to capture alligators. After the 'gator is sucked in to the vortex, they bring in a cage (no pun intended), set it up on the same spot, and play the reversed file, thus capturing the 'gator.


----------



## hpowders

There's got to be a way to force classical music illiterates to like our music, just short of torture, leaving no marks.
I'm new here on TC and open to suggestions. My girlfriend is perfect otherwise. Serious help needed!


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> There's got to be a way to force classical music illiterates to like our music, just short of torture, leaving no marks.
> I'm new here on TC and open to suggestions. My girlfriend is perfect otherwise. Serious help needed!


We could open a "music camp" and force them to listen. We could wear cool uniforms, and have an insignia, and everything!


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> We could open a "music camp" and force them to listen. We could wear cool uniforms, and have an insignia, and everything!


Yes! Yes! And over the camp entrance we can install a big sign "Musik Macht Frei!!"


----------



## brianvds

MagneticGhost said:


> Marmite - Can you make me love it?
> Apparently you either love it or hate it. I just find I'm slightly indifferent. Can anyone suggest ways I can increase my feelings for this polarising spread.


But this is a music board. We're supposed to work out whether Mozart liked Marmite.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> *More 4'33" horror stories*
> 
> I was playing Cage's 4'33" very loudly last night, with subwoofers. The silence opened up a dimensional vortex, and sucked the neighbor's dog in.
> 
> Luckily, I had recorded this track into my LOGIC program, and the file was visible. I used the AudioSuite software to reverse the file; it took a few minutes to do this, as there were millions of samples to deal with.
> 
> I burned the reversed file to CD, and then took it into the living room and began playing it loudly on the big system. Fortunately, this had the effect of reversing the dimensional vortex effect, and Fido popped out, unharmed.


This is the intellectual, technological expansion of what I meant to say.


----------



## trazom

"Which posters would you trade for...."

"List which Moderators you hate the most and why, but remember to keep it civil/within TC guidelines"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"How many (insert works) would you trade for Community posts to count?"


----------



## millionrainbows

Scholarly articles:

Thematic Development in the Music of La Monte Young

Fog Machines, Aroma Therapy, and Debussy: The Next Level

Stockhausen's* Helicopter Quartet *and Its Use in Treating PTSD

An American Answer to Penderecki's *Threnody:* John Williams' *Just Think of All the Lives We Saved In the Long Run: An Orchestral String Suite*


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> "How many (insert works) would you trade for Community posts to count?"


I don't post where I'm not rewarded. Any posts I've made on Community Forums were purely accidental as I most likely didn't have my monocle on.


----------



## KenOC

hpowders said:


> I don't post where I'm not rewarded.


You should ask a mod if you can get on my pay-per-post plan. Keeps me in beer and skittles.


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> You should ask a mod if you can get on my pay-per-post plan. Keeps me in beer and skittles.


If I had to do it all over, I would chuck this posting business in favor of professional baseball player. By the time they figured out I stink, I would have already banked $6 mil. More than enough to keep me in CD's and DVD's for the rest of my life.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Poll: Can hpowders go one better than the 99 posts he made in one day last weekend?!


*He has that capacity, pure and simple

*Yes, sure, why not?

*Definitely, he can do it!

*He already did, dude, you missed it.


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: Can hpowders go one better than the 99 posts he made in one day last weekend?!
> 
> *He has that capacity, pure and simple
> 
> *Yes, sure, why not?
> 
> *Definitely, he can do it!
> 
> *He already did, dude, you missed it.


Did I? I believe that was the day I got a raise.

Point of clarification: It is not mindless posting. It is interacting. In most cases there is someone at the other end of my post.


----------



## brianvds

Star Whores: John Williams' lesser known porn soundtrack masterpiece.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: Can hpowders go one better than the 99 posts he made in one day last weekend?!
> 
> *He has that capacity, pure and simple
> 
> *Yes, sure, why not?
> 
> *Definitely, he can do it!
> 
> *He already did, dude, you missed it.


*Unsure

A few days later... the controversy in this thread becomes so strong that everyone on the entire site gets permanently banned. The resulting economic damage creates a crash worse than that of the housing market. Then, China buys our entire country. We all have to become sex slaves for China's new market for fresh white-people porn. The fetishistic background music played during this porn is of course Brian Ferneyhough (so arousing!). The resulting awful cacophony coming from every adolescent's computer in China creates a resonant shock wave, opening up a black hole. Then, we all die.

The end.


----------



## hpowders

Can I go home now?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Nice avatar... who is it?


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> Nice avatar... who is it?


The computer image taken from archeological study of skulls of Middle Eastern males of some 2000 years ago, generated this image of what JC could have looked like. I figure this image gives my posts an added boost in Holy Credibility....though I could be wrong.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> The computer image taken from archeological study of skulls of Middle Eastern males of some 2000 years ago, generated this image of what JC could have looked like. I figure this image gives my posts an added boost in Holy Credibility....though I could be wrong.


We'll believe you if you could turn Stravinsky into Vivaldi, or feed the musical needs of 10 000 people on nothing more than five copies of 4'33" and two of Bartok's Miraculous Mandarin.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SeptimalTritone said:


> *Unsure
> 
> A few days later... the controversy in this thread becomes so strong that everyone on the entire site gets permanently banned. The resulting economic damage creates a crash worse than that of the housing market. Then, China buys our entire country. We all have to become sex slaves for China's new market for fresh white-people porn. The fetishistic background music played during this porn is of course Brian Ferneyhough (so arousing!). The resulting awful cacophony coming from every adolescent's computer in China creates a resonant shock wave, opening up a black hole. Then, we all die.
> 
> The end.


Hasn't millionrainbows got some sort of software for reversing that? You just have to record the cacophony into the LOGIC program, and use the AudioSuite software to reverse the file!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

hpowders said:


> Did I? I believe that was the day I got a raise.
> 
> Point of clarification: It is not mindless posting. It is interacting. In most cases there is someone at the other end of my post.


There's someone on the end of this post too!

I enjoy your contributions here, hp - I wouldn't tease you if I didn't


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> There's someone on the end of this post too!
> 
> I enjoy your contributions here, hp - I wouldn't tease you if I didn't


Thanks, I enjoy yours too! :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> We'll believe you if you could turn Stravinsky into Vivaldi, or feed the musical needs of 10 000 people on nothing more than five copies of 4'33" and two of Bartok's Miraculous Mandarin.


I'll get back to you on these miracles.


----------



## aleazk

SeptimalTritone said:


> *Unsure
> 
> A few days later... the controversy in this thread becomes so strong that everyone on the entire site gets permanently banned. The resulting economic damage creates a crash worse than that of the housing market. Then, China buys our entire country. We all have to become sex slaves for China's new market for fresh white-people porn. The fetishistic background music played during this porn is of course Brian Ferneyhough (so arousing!). The resulting awful cacophony coming from every adolescent's computer in China creates a resonant shock wave, opening up a black hole. Then, we all die.
> 
> The end.


This process produces an enormous burst of EM radiation, which arrives at the Sirius star system eight years later. There, a 'Sirian' crazy lunatic composer (who claims he's from Earth), uses these wave profiles as the basis for his new an revolutionary music, 'Gesang der Chinese'. This starts an avant-garde period of composition in his planet. By the simple laws of causation, sixty years later the planet is destroyed by a similar process.

Burst of EM radiation again, other planets, etc. The process takes place again and again and finally all the intelligent life in the universe disappears, contemporary classical music in Earth being the sole responsible of this.

_I told ya to stick to the diatonic scale, Arnie! look what you done now!_


----------



## hpowders

I'm over at Juilliard and I gotta do this report. I need a list of 21st Century atonal composers who were directly influenced by Wagner and Bruckner. I already have Boulez, so please don't gimmee him again.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> I'm over at Juilliard and I gotta do this report. I need a list of 21st Century atonal composers who were directly influenced by Wagner and Bruckner. I already have Boulez, so please don't gimmee him again.


Poll: Are _all_ living composers total a$$holes like Boulez and Cage, or is it just some of them?

* Yes
* No
* Unsure


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> Poll: Are _all_ living composers total a$$holes like Boulez and Cage, or is it just some of them?
> 
> * Yes
> * No
> * Unsure


We who prejudge and refuse to put in the work required to "get" their music are the a$$holes.

There were plenty who didn't "get" Beethoven during his time. Now it's relatively "easy listening" with certain really heavy exceptions like the Grosse Fuge and Hammerklavier fugue.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

aleazk said:


> This process produces an enormous burst of EM radiation, which arrives at the Sirius star system eight years later. There, a 'Sirian' crazy lunatic composer (who claims he's from Earth), uses these wave profiles as the basis for his new an revolutionary music, 'Gesang der Chinese'. This starts an avant-garde period of composition in his planet. By the simple laws of causation, sixty years later the planet is destroyed by a similar process.
> 
> Burst of EM radiation again, other planets, etc. The process takes place again and again and finally all the intelligent life in the universe disappears, contemporary classical music in Earth being the sole responsible of this.
> 
> _I told ya to stick to the diatonic scale, Arnie! look what you done now!_


Of course, what you just described is only one extreme of the physical system. It is potentially possible that some of the planets in this black hole/gamma ray burst network of intelligent life are _sufficiently intelligent_ to avoid being taken over by avant-garde noise! These planets actually encourage diversity and let composers do what they want, rather than forcing them to write "atonal" music. Whether a given planet's intelligent life is intelligent enough to be destroyed by atonality is determined by whether the value of a certain dimensionless parameter is greater or less than 1 (exercise left to the reader).

Then, the fate of the universe can be decided through statistical mechanics considerations! Similar to a magnetic Ising system where spins may thermally flip against the desired direction... in our universe system certain species may just be intelligent enough to avoid being destroyed! This conflict between "growth of atonality destruction" and "growth of musically intelligent life" produces a thermal equilibrium. Depending on the statistical distribution of the intelligence parameter (given by the "musical temperature" of the universe)... we may either be in a state of _atonal death_, or _vibrant intelligence_.

Our own species is not dead yet, so the universe must be in the _vibrant intelligence_ state. However, over cosmological time scales it is possible for there to be a phase transition to _atonal death_, destroying us all! This is a grave danger: as we all know, the universe is getting dumber and dumber at alarming rates... so yeah we're screwed. Even freaking Einstein hinted at this: "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the former."

Meanwhile, Zeus and Apollo in Greek God land are doing physics and debating over how long it takes for this phase transition to occur. They're having a blast.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> We who prejudge and refuse to put in the work required to "get" their music are the a$$holes.
> 
> There were plenty who didn't "get" Beethoven during his time. Now it's relatively "easy listening" with certain really heavy exceptions like the Grosse Fuge and Hammerklavier fugue.


Yes, but what made Beethoven an a$$hole wasn't the fact that his music was difficult. What made him an a$$hole was the fact that he was an a$$hole.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

brianvds said:


> Yes, but what made Beethoven an a$$hole wasn't the fact that his music was difficult. What made him an a$$hole was the fact that he was an a$$hole.


Of course, at the end of his life he made sure to clarify _why_ he was such an a$$hole:


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> Of course, at the end of his life he made sure to clarify _why_ he was such an a$$hole:
> 
> View attachment 57183


I would gladly give up my suavity to become an a$$hole in order to be able to write music like he could.


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Poll*

What makes you feel more guilty?

A. Slowing down traffic to look at car accidents on the side of the road. 
B. Reading threads concerning modern music.


----------



## Blancrocher

brianvds said:


> Yes, but what made Beethoven an a$$hole wasn't the fact that his music was difficult. What made him an a$$hole was the fact that he was an a$$hole.


Not to mention the fact that everyone else was, too. Not sure I'd enjoy having to smile and perform for courtiers all the time, not that there aren't worse things in life.


----------



## TresPicos

Blancrocher said:


> *A Poll*
> 
> What makes you feel more guilty?
> 
> A. Slowing down traffic to look at car accidents on the side of the road.
> B. Reading threads concerning modern music.


C. Slowing down traffic while reading threads concerning modern music on the side of the road.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Yes, but what made Beethoven an a$$hole wasn't the fact that his music was difficult. What made him an a$$hole was the fact that he was an a$$hole.


Can we thus conclude that without a$$holes, this world would be in sorrier shape than it already is? Would you rather have a world without Beethoven?


----------



## arpeggio

If it was not for a$$holes we would not know how wonderful we are.


----------



## hpowders

Without a$$holes, we wouldn't have stores secretly marking up items by 40% so they can "lower" them on Black Friday by 30% so everybody can get a great deal.


----------



## KenOC

hpowders said:


> Without a$$holes, we wouldn't have stores secretly marking up items by 40% so they can "lower" them on Black Friday by 30% so everybody can get a great deal.


If you mark up a $100 item by 40% and then reduce that price by 30%, the final price is $98. Strange but true! Not a superbuy but enough savings for the fries.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

SeptimalTritone said:


> Of course, at the end of his life he made sure to clarify _why_ he was such an a$$hole:
> 
> View attachment 57183


Ah $hit... I think the point of my joke was missed.

The point was that Beethoven was an a$$hole because "it must have been!" With his final string quartet, Beethoven immortally stamped onto the world: "I'm an a$$hole and you f*ckers can't do $hit about it." You know how musicologists think that Beethoven wanted to state the meaning of life in his final quartet's thematic motif?

Nope.


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> If you mark up a $100 item by 40% and then reduce that price by 30%, the final price is $98. Strange but true! Not a superbuy but enough savings for the fries.


Hold on! I'm getting my man purse!


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> Ah $hit... I think the point of my joke was missed.
> 
> The point was that Beethoven was an a$$hole because "it must have been!" With his final string quartet, Beethoven immortally stamped onto the world: "I'm an a$$hole and you f*ckers can't do $hit about it." You know how musicologists think that Beethoven wanted to state the meaning of life in his final quartet's thematic motif?
> 
> Nope.


Muss es sein? Es muss sein!


----------



## hpowders

The wife came back from the mall shopping a few minutes ago. She surprised me with a huge supply of fingertip bandaids, specifically designed for high-profile posters. A nice touch! (no pun intended).


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why is it that just about every stringed instrument has a G-string yet hardly any have F-strings?
Discuss. Debate. No bad jokes, please.


----------



## hpowders

Violin is EADG. Perfect fourths tuning.

When I'm high on Jamesons, I play the E string exclusively. When I'm hung over and feeling pretty low, it's the G string.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Violin is EADG. Perfect fourths tuning.
> 
> When I'm high on Jamesons, I play the E string exclusively. When I'm hung over and feeling pretty low, it's the G string.


No wonder I feel so unhappy sometimes - I play the viola.
(A side note - isn't the violin tuned in perfect _fifths_?)


----------



## SimonNZ

Shouldn't violin players be able to make the note without adjusting the tightness of the string? Isn't "tuning" just cheating?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> No wonder I feel so unhappy sometimes - I play the viola.
> (A side note - isn't the violin tuned in perfect _fifths_?)


I buy my Jamesons by the fifth. The violin is tuned in perfect fifths like the bottle.


----------



## hpowders

Hello. New here. Serious health question. Do I choose a Shostakovich 5th symphony based on whether a conductor is safe or risky in interpretation? You see I have a heart condition. So, do I go with Haitink instead of Rostropovich?


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Can we thus conclude that without a$$holes, this world would be in sorrier shape than it already is? Would you rather have a world without Beethoven?


That is a question I have often wondered about. It is noteworthy how many of the world's great artists, composers, writers and scientists were complete and utter a$$holes, but without their contributions, we would indeed be missing out. Beethoven comes to mind, and Newton. On the other hand, there are also many exceptions: Mozart was a perfectly amiable bloke, and so were, for example, Darwin and Feynman. So perhaps one can make valuable contributions without being a bloody a$$hole about it.

But it seems to me there is an easy resolution to this. Nobody except the poor Karl was ever under under any obligation to deal with Beethoven personally. It is always perfectly possible to enjoy a great genius' contributions without ever having to deal with his a$$holery.


----------



## SimonNZ

Early Rap Pioneer: A$$hole B€€thoven

on second thoughts that might be tidier just as:

Early Rap Pioneer: B€€thoven


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The groundbreaking new phenomenon: $ho€nb€rg M€ta£. Watch Arno£d $¢ho€nb€rg and his bandmates, Anton W€b€rn and A£ban B€rg, take on the tonal system in their new album Ar€ You $€rial?

Sorry. Couldn't resist.


----------



## SimonNZ

^nice, but if its going to be genuinely "M€ta£" (and European) its going to need a generous helping of 
ÜMLÄÜTS!


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> That is a question I have often wondered about. It is noteworthy how many of the world's great artists, composers, writers and scientists were complete and utter a$$holes, but without their contributions, we would indeed be missing out. Beethoven comes to mind, and Newton. On the other hand, there are also many exceptions: Mozart was a perfectly amiable bloke, and so were, for example, Darwin and Feynman. So perhaps one can make valuable contributions without being a bloody a$$hole about it.
> 
> But it seems to me there is an easy resolution to this. Nobody except the poor Karl was ever under under any obligation to deal with Beethoven personally. It is always perfectly possible to enjoy a great genius' contributions without ever having to deal with his a$$holery.


Assume you were back in Vienna in Beethoven's time. You are alone and you see him walking down the street alone. You love his music but have heard reports of his a$$holery. Do you approach him for an autograph or cross the street, ignoring him completely?


----------



## Posie

SimonNZ said:


> ÜMLÄÜTS!


Now, try to annunciate that.


----------



## millionrainbows

> Originally Posted by *hpowders*:
> 
> Violin is EADG. Perfect fourths tuning.





MoonlightSonata said:


> No wonder I feel so unhappy sometimes - I play the viola.
> (A side note - isn't the violin tuned in perfect _fifths_?)


It depends on which direction you are going. If you are going *up* in fifths, the violin is (low to high) G-D-A-E.

If you are going backwards, like hpowders, *down* in fourths, the violin is (high to low) E-A-D-G; but instrument tunings are almost always listed as *low to high*.

Fourths and fifths are *inversions* of each other. You should be able to grasp the concept of _*inversion*_ after this.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> It depends on which direction you are going. If you are going *up* in fifths, the violin is (low to high) G-D-A-E.
> 
> If you are going backwards, like hpowders, *down* in fourths, the violin is (high to low) E-A-D-G; but instrument tunings are almost always listed as *low to high*.
> 
> Fourths and fifths are *inversions* of each other. You should be able to grasp the concept of _*inversion*_ after this.


Yes! Yes! I know! As a former violin player I was going with the proximity of the strings to my chin: high to low: E A D G in fourths.

Of course if one is from the deep end: G D A E, one is heading in perfect fifth territory.

Either way, I ain't playin' no mo'!! They shoulda made that damn G string closer!!!


----------



## senza sordino

Can I nominate Eleanor Rigby on the TC recommended list of string quartets?


----------



## millionrainbows

Apparently stupid thread ideas, but all based on truth:

The Use of Flat-Nine Dominants in The Beatles' *Glass Onion* and *She's So Heavy*

Irregular Measure structure and Changing Time Signatures in The Beatles' *All You Need Is Love*

The Beatles and Stockhausen: *Revolution No. 9*


----------



## millionrainbows

Now, these are *truly bonafide* stupid thread ideas:

Advanced Harmonic Concepts in the Music of *The Dave Clark Five*

Interchangable Major/minor Harmony in *Question Mark & the Mysterians' 96 Tears*

Retrograde Structure in the B side of *Napoleon XIV's They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Ha*


----------



## millionrainbows

The Operatic Influence of Offenbach in the Music of Allan Sherman


----------



## Skilmarilion

Dear all. I have composed a symphony in the style of Bruckner, and I seek your thoughts. Please see below, many thanks.

It is in 4 movements:

I. Feierlich 
II. Sehr feierlich 
III. Feierlich und langsam
IV. Molto feierlich


----------



## SimonNZ

Links to sites for classical music themed porn.

Replies: 3
Views: 127,986


----------



## hpowders

Skilmarilion said:


> Dear all. I have composed a symphony in the style of Bruckner, and I seek your thoughts. Please see below, many thanks.
> 
> It is in 4 movements:
> 
> I. Feierlich
> II. Sehr feierlich
> III. Feierlich und langsam
> IV. Molto feierlich


But I just composed one too! You beat me too it!! That's not Feierlich!!!


----------



## scratchgolf

SimonNZ said:


> Links to sites for classical music themed porn.
> 
> Replies: 3
> Views: 127,986


Instant classic!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

millionrainbows said:


> It depends on which direction you are going. If you are going *up* in fifths, the violin is (low to high) G-D-A-E.
> 
> If you are going backwards, like hpowders, *down* in fourths, the violin is (high to low) E-A-D-G; but instrument tunings are almost always listed as *low to high*.
> 
> Fourths and fifths are *inversions* of each other. You should be able to grasp the concept of _*inversion*_ after this.


But since the E, say, is higher than the A, the interval is a perfect fifth, is it not? It could be written in fourths, but if you play two adjacent strings the interval will always be a fifth.
Very nice explanation though. Please correct me if I'm wrong.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

^ Correct. There is no perfect fourth open strings in a violin, except for scordatura. The interval is always a fifth. It doesn't matter whether you go up or down... it's still a fifth. A fourth would be the interval from open A to third finger D.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The double bass, on the other hand, is actually tuned EADG. I think. How off-topic we have gone.


----------



## SimonNZ

If I can't find my cello before a concert, can I just take my dulcimer? They're roughly the same length.

(cellos being notoriously easy to lose - "have you checked under the sofa cushions?")


----------



## The nose

Best music to play in outer space.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

The nose said:


> Best music to play in outer space.


----------



## senza sordino

MoonlightSonata said:


> The double bass, on the other hand, is actually tuned EADG. I think. How off-topic we have gone.


True, like the bottom four strings of a guitar.


----------



## trazom

"My baby is speaking in gibberish and yesterday he laughed and threw his poo at me ...A NEW MOZART!?"


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Do not mention John Cage game thread.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Does everyone hate pipe organs? I left a church unlocked while I went on holiday, but while numerous small objects had been stolen, the organ was still there. Does that mean nobody wants one?


----------



## hpowders

Could be simply too heavy to steal.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Assume you were back in Vienna in Beethoven's time. You are alone and you see him walking down the street alone. You love his music but have heard reports of his a$$holery. Do you approach him for an autograph or cross the street, ignoring him completely?


I ignore him completely, as I do with all celebrities - I respect their privacy.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> *I ignore him completely*, as I do with all celebrities - I respect their privacy.


I would have asked him, "Hey Loooie, the violin is like, you know, EADG or GDAE in the strings. So is it tuned in intervals of fourths or fifths? Ya wanna go get a beer?"

By the way, that's your perog perogat prerogati....choice. :cheers:


----------



## hpowders

They just closed a thread for repairs that was about an exciting three year old composer, where I was hanging out for the past three weeks 24/7. So how long does it usually take to repair such a thread? Where do I go in the meanwhile?


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> It depends on which direction you are going. If you are going *up* in fifths, the violin is (low to high) G-D-A-E.


And thus we can see that violins are Scottish-Australian: "G'Dae, mate!"


----------



## brianvds

Skilmarilion said:


> Dear all. I have composed a symphony in the style of Bruckner, and I seek your thoughts. Please see below, many thanks.
> 
> It is in 4 movements:
> 
> I. Feierlich
> II. Sehr feierlich
> III. Feierlich und langsam
> IV. Molto feierlich


The style of Bruckner, you say? May I suggest a few revisions?


----------



## brianvds

trazom said:


> "My baby is speaking in gibberish and yesterday he laughed and threw his poo at me ...A NEW MOZART!?"


It's know as the Mozart Defect.


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> They just closed a thread for repairs that was about an exciting three year old composer, where I was hanging out for the past three weeks 24/7. So how long does it usually take to repair such a thread? Where do I go in the meanwhile?


You could go pretty much where you want. But if you post in adjacent threads, you must be a bit careful, so you don't disturb the repair work.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

MoonlightSonata said:


> Does everyone hate pipe organs? I left a church unlocked while I went on holiday, but while numerous small objects had been stolen, the organ was still there. Does that mean nobody wants one?





hpowders said:


> Could be simply too heavy to steal.


(gasps theatrically) _Really?_


----------



## Skilmarilion

*POLL*

Which is your favourite tempo marking in Shostakovich's 15th string quartet?

a) adagio
b) adagio
c) adagio
d) adagio
e) adagio

Or is it actually ...

f) adagio


----------



## MagneticGhost

Skilmarilion said:


> *POLL*
> 
> Which is your favourite tempo marking in Shostakovich's 15th string quartet?
> 
> a) adagio
> b) adagio
> c) adagio
> d) adagio
> e) adagio
> 
> Or is it actually ...
> 
> f) adagio


Actually 
g) Molto Adagio


----------



## MagneticGhost

We all hear about The Rite of Spring! But what about it's responsibilities eh?


----------



## JACE

MagneticGhost said:


> We all hear about The Rite of Spring! But what about it's responsibilities eh?


That's so bad that it's good.


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> But since the E, say, is higher than the A, the interval is a perfect fifth, is it not? It could be written in fourths, but if you play two adjacent strings the interval will always be a fifth.
> Very nice explanation though. Please correct me if I'm wrong.


Yes, the interval will always be a fifth if going from A up to E, or E down to A.

However, intervals are invertible: A *up* to E is a fifth, but A *down* to E is a fourth. It gets complicated.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Hi there. I am an aspiring pianist and would like to improve my basic technique by practising arpeggios. 

I would like to buy one of two books to help me with this, which would you recommend please?

1) The Essential Arpeggio Excercise Manual
2) The Complete Works of Philip Glass


----------



## MagneticGhost

Skilmarilion said:


> Hi there. I am an aspiring pianist and would like to improve my basic technique by practising arpeggios.
> 
> I would like to buy one of two books to help me with this, which would you recommend please?
> 
> 1) The Essential Arpeggio Excercise Manual
> 2) The Complete Works of Philip Glass


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## Dustin

"How much does Beethoven get paid for each album I buy of his?"


----------



## hpowders

Lurking on TC, I have a question. Should I avoid purchasing CDs of female pianists and violinists who are almost naked on the cover? This means they have no talent?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

What does the "D" stand for in titles of classical music pieces? Please help.

When there's a "K" and then a number after the title of a song, what does the "K" mean?

What are some titles of famous classical music pieces that begin with the letters "A" or "B" or "S?"

Thanx - Confused Newbie


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> What does the "D" stand for in titles of classical music pieces? Please help.
> 
> When there's a "K" and then a number after the title of a song, what does the "K" mean?
> 
> What are some titles of famous classical music pieces that begin with the letters "A" or "B" or "S?"
> 
> Thanx - Confused Newbie


I see you posting on Current Listening all the time!!!


----------



## hpowders

Dustin said:


> "How much does Beethoven get paid for each album I buy of his?"


Yeah. He would be very, very rich!! More than Seinfeld!


----------



## hpowders

I noticed this thread, Greek music vs Roman music. A poll. Is it normal to pit the music of one group of people against another?


----------



## millionrainbows

Skilmarilion said:


> Hi there. I am an aspiring pianist and would like to improve my basic technique by practising arpeggios.
> 
> I would like to buy one of two books to help me with this, which would you recommend please?
> 
> 1) The Essential Arpeggio Excercise Manual
> 2) The Complete Works of Philip Glass


Neither one: I question the quality of the Essential Arpeggio book, since there is a misspelled word in the title; and most of the Philip Glass music was intended to be played on Farfisa combo organs.


----------



## hpowders

Why is Mozart's music different from other composers of his time? It sounds better to me, but I'm only a novice.


----------



## millionrainbows

I'm going to play Jeffrey Stolet's *Concerto for Chainsaw, Cow, and Orchestra, *and was wondering about a cadenza: perhaps a beaver or ground squirrel?


----------



## starthrower

millionrainbows said:


> I'm going to play Jeffrey Stolet's *Concerto for Chainsaw, Cow, and Orchestra, *and was wondering about a cadenza: perhaps a beaver or ground squirrel?


Inspired by an undercover visit to a meat packing plant?


----------



## millionrainbows

starthrower said:


> Inspired by an undercover visit to a meat packing plant?


No, it was the suggestion of my chainsaw teacher. He studied in Detroit.


----------



## hpowders

I have my son strapped down to a chair in front of me. What piece or pieces can I play for him to get him to love classical music. I'm not sure if it's relevant but he has run away from home the last time I tried this.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

millionrainbows said:


> No, it was the suggestion of my chainsaw teacher. He studied in Detroit.


Where did you find your chainsaw teacher? I could only find teachers for leafblowing, and the leafblower has a far smaller repertoire. I've started to teach myself the chainsaw, but I'm only about Grade 2.


----------



## aleazk

Posted in Today's Composers: Hi, I just accidentally killed my friend while we were rehearsing my new avant-garde piece "Beauty", for violin and prepared piano (I, uh, inserted anti-personnel mines between the strings, I thought it was cool since I researched and for some reason nobody did it before, and you know, innovation is king!). And I just got another great avant-garde idea: 'for Jim, in his memory', for violin and Jim's body parts! The people can interact with the piece, e.g., they can use Jim's arm to make sounds with the violin's strings, etc. What do ya think??


----------



## TurnaboutVox

millionrainbows said:


> I'm going to play Jeffrey Stolet's *Concerto for Chainsaw, Cow, and Orchestra, *and was wondering about a cadenza: perhaps a beaver or ground squirrel?


Ground squirrel can be prepared using the chainsaw...


----------



## SimonNZ

The Slightly Less Than Unconditional Adoration Of Maria Callas Thread


----------



## hpowders

I'm really at my limit with practicing the violin 7 hours a day. Which is the best way to deal with this? Twelve oxycontins followed by a glass of purified water or a quart of Jack Daniels, rocks? Thanks for the experienced help.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> I'm really at my limit with practicing the violin 7 hours a day. Which is the best way to deal with this? An overdose of oxycontin or a quart of Jack Daniels? Thanks for the experienced help.


A violin lesson from Anne-Sophie Mutter, of course.


----------



## hpowders

Damn duplicate post!! Is this website falling apart??? Shouldn't be!!!


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> A violin lesson from Anne-Sophie Mutter, of course.


That would be fine if the poster was "me". However, the poster is female, heterosexual and she has been posting vigorously on TC against the Anne-Sophie Mutter CD covers.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> That would be fine if the poster was "me". However, the poster is female, heterosexual and she has been posting vigorously on TC against the Anne-Sophie Mutter CD covers.


In that case, have her give _me_ a violin lesson.


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> In that case, have her give _me_ a violin lesson.


Bring your _g string_; bring your _g string; _bring your _g string;_ bring your _g string;_

and for the _FIFTH _time, Bring your _g string!!_


----------



## SimonNZ

Wouldn't Gramophone magazine be better and sell more copies (which is, obviously, the same thing) if the had more scandal stories about famous sopranos who were married to famous tenors who were cheating on them with famous conductors? (Complete with paparazzo ambush-snaps and click-bait headlines.)


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> No, it was the suggestion of my chainsaw teacher. He studied in Detroit.


Ever since most musicians have switched from authentic, handmade, German instruments to cheap Chinese imports, I have become a bit disillusioned by chainsaw music. The sound quality is just not the same, and if I have to sit through one more instance of a broken chain or clogged cylinders during a virtuoso cadenza I'll probably loose my cool and start booing. Really, if violinists can go to the trouble of getting hold of a good Stradivarius, and guitarists can pay a good luthier for the best possible sound, what excuse do chainsawists have?


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> I have my son strapped down to a chair in front of me. What piece or pieces can I play for him to get him to love classical music. I'm not sure if it's relevant but he has run away from home the last time I tried this.


Hit him with Prokofiev's war sonatas. I'm not sure he'll love it, but it will knock him out cold, so at least he'll remain immobile.


----------



## Figleaf

SimonNZ said:


> The Slightly Less Than Unconditional Adoration Of Maria Callas Thread


I hardly dare to listen to that eminent artist in case I am guilty of involuntary less-than-unconditionally-adoring thoughts!

I just found this amusing blog post on the 'Callas Crazies'. I don't know enough to evaluate the truth or otherwise of what 'Mrs Claggart' writes, but he/she is certainly entertaining!
http://mrsjohnclaggartssadlife.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/the-callas-crazies.html#links


----------



## brianvds

Is there copyright on recordings of a person's voice?

I ask because I heard that the famous humpback whale composer Whoop!Whoop!-AAAAHHH! used recordings of the voice of Alan Hovhaness in one of his improvisations. Can't he be sued by the Hovhaness estate, or perhaps have all his excess fat turned into lamp oil and cosmetics?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I recently listened to some Gloria Coates string quartets and I'd like to nominate one of them for the 'Top String Quartets' thread. 

But are they actually scored for string quartet and chainsaw? Or did the Kreuzer quartet just leave one on in the background accidentally? Perhaps it's a leaf-blower after all. I just can't tell. Can anyone here tell me if it's a valid nomination?


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Which is the best recording of Sorabji's Jāmī Symphony?


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> Where did you find your chainsaw teacher? I could only find teachers for leafblowing, and the leafblower has a far smaller repertoire. I've started to teach myself the chainsaw, but I'm only about Grade 2.


As I said, he studied in Detroit, and earlier in Chicago, but he is originally from Texas. Lots of cows out there to practice on.


----------



## millionrainbows

brianvds said:


> Ever since most musicians have switched from authentic, handmade, German instruments to cheap Chinese imports, I have become a bit disillusioned by chainsaw music. The sound quality is just not the same, and if I have to sit through one more instance of a broken chain or clogged cylinders during a virtuoso cadenza I'll probably loose my cool and start booing. Really, if violinists can go to the trouble of getting hold of a good Stradivarius, and guitarists can pay a good luthier for the best possible sound, what excuse do chainsawists have?


That is so true. Also, many chainsawists are sedating the cattle, in order to gain more control. There have been instances of unsedated cows running into the audience, half-cut in two by a botched chainsawist. Personally, I think if you've got the proper technique, no sedation is necessary, and the effect is much more dramatic.


----------



## clavichorder

How about a whole section of the forum devoted to dating, with profiles galore? Talkclassical personals. I'm sure the ratio of men to women would make for a lot of happy people...


----------



## millionrainbows

The *"Oh, My God!!! This is the most fabulous singing on earth!!"* thread...

...oh, that's already done...

...it's in the general classical music discussions section, not the opera forum.

Is it true that Maria "Callas" is just a nickname, because she had callouses on her vocal cords?

Is it true that John "Shirley-Quirk" was also a nickname, earned by his "quirky" tendency to wear his wife Shirley's underwear under his tuxedo during performances?

The "Let's Make Fun of Singers" thread

Glenn Gould sings Wagner, accompanied by himself using Franz Liszt's piano transcription


----------



## millionrainbows

Black American Composers I Think You'll Like, Or I Will Burn This Friggin' Forum Down


----------



## hpowders

Would the same CD of Anne-Sophie Mutter playing Bach sell about the same number of copies with a suggestive portrait of her on the cover as it would with a portrait of Bach on the cover?


----------



## Cosmos

*Composers with low self esteem issues?????*

I'm new to classical and I've noticed that some composers have negative views of works that everyone considers a masterpiece

For example, Beethoven's Pathetic Sonata AND Tchaikovsky's Pathetic Symphony!

Why were these guys so self critical? Was therapy not invented yet? Or are these examples of musical jokes?


----------



## trazom

millionrainbows said:


> The *"Oh, My God!!! This is the most fabulous singing on earth!!"* thread...


Have you heard the man with the five octave vocal range? He's amazing.


----------



## hpowders

If Beethoven's Fourth Symphony was subtitled "Moonshadow" would it have sold more CD copies?

This thread title is dedicated to the former Cat Stevens.


----------



## hpowders

What are Persichetti's best tone poems? Please vote for as many as you wish.

Also, where in South London might I shop for them? Christmas is coming.


----------



## brianvds

Cosmos said:


> I'm new to classical and I've noticed that some composers have negative views of works that everyone considers a masterpiece
> 
> For example, Beethoven's Pathetic Sonata AND Tchaikovsky's Pathetic Symphony!
> 
> Why were these guys so self critical? Was therapy not invented yet? Or are these examples of musical jokes?


It's just a mistranslation of "Pathetique," who was Beethoven's girlfriend at the time. In the case of Tchaikovsky, he was going through a hetero phase and was trying to compose an immortal symphony for his beloved.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> If Beethoven's Fourth Symphony was subtitled "Moonshadow" would it have sold more CD copies?
> 
> This thread title is dedicated to the former Cat Stevens.


After a religious conversion late in life, Beethoven renamed it "Jihad."


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Would the same CD of Anne-Sophie Mutter playing Bach sell about the same number of copies with a suggestive portrait of her on the cover as it would with a portrait of Bach on the cover?


I wonder if this is in fact a stupid thread title. Seems to me it's a perfectly legitimate question, the answer to which could be lucrative. And best of all, in the finest tradition of science, it is a question that can be empirically answered by making available two sets of copies of the same recording with the two different covers proposed above, and observing which one sells best.

For the gay market, the equivalent would be CDs of the Tchaikovsky violin concerto, one with a clothed Tchaikovsky on the cover, and the other one featuring a semi-nude Joshua Bell. Speaking of which, I wonder if he would have made more money that time when he busked in the metro station if he had been more skimpily dressed?


----------



## KenOC

Wouldn't it be more direct to design album covers with sexually provocative pictures of the composers rather than the performers? Here's a start.

http://graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


----------



## DiesIraeCX

KenOC said:


> Wouldn't it be more direct to design album covers with sexually provocative pictures of the composers rather than the performers? Here's a start.
> 
> http://graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


Haha, man, Beethoven is buff!


----------



## Wandering

An international bowling competition promoting Classical Music


----------



## scratchgolf

KenOC said:


> Wouldn't it be more direct to design album covers with sexually provocative pictures of the composers rather than the performers? Here's a start.
> 
> http://graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


I'm certain you've ruined a few composers for me. Beethoven appears to be stuck few phases behind in the evolutionary process. Thank the lord, for all our sakes, that Schubert was not included. I don't think I could stand it.


----------



## hpowders

I'm ordering the Bach B Minor Mass with Gardiner from Japan but I'm afraid. I don't understand Japanese and don't know what the words will sound like when sung in Japanese. Have any others ordered this way?


----------



## Blancrocher

Hi everybody! I read all the posts in this forum yesterday before breakfast, and noticed that many of you like to make a _lot_ of recommendations. However, many of these posts are quite old. Have you changed your mind about any? What's the most recent music you've recommended that you already detest? What's the most expensive box set you told someone to buy that you now think isn't worth the cardboard and plastic it's packaged in?

Please share your thoughts and memories. No hard feelings, of course.


----------



## hpowders

I'm new here and notice the same people always seem to like posts by the same posters and avoid liking other posts by others who in my opinion seem to have meaningful things to say. Now I'm afraid to join because nobody will like me. Should I get professional help?


----------



## SimonNZ

The Converse Only In Emoticons Thread


----------



## aleazk

I had an exam today and I put all my cards in the 'Mozart Effect' when I was studying, but I nevertheless got an F  What I did wrong??


----------



## brianvds

Composers you emphatically do not want to see naked.


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Poll: Who's the best classical composer today, Ludovico Einaudi or Karl Jenkins?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Poll: Who's the best classical composer today, Ludovico Einaudi or Karl Jenkins?


Neither. John Williams.


----------



## hpowders

Was the relationship between Mme. von Meck and Tchaikovsky, the inspiration for the internet chat room format?
Please cite references.


----------



## Haydn man

hpowders said:


> I'm ordering the Bach B Minor Mass with Gardiner from Japan but I'm afraid. I don't understand Japanese and don't know what the words will sound like when sung in Japanese. Have any others ordered this way?


Hell, can Gardiner conduct in Japenese would be more to the point!
A fool and his money are soon parted old chap


----------



## SimonNZ

Do you agree with the way Beethoven ranked his symphonies? Is No.1 _really_ the best?


----------



## hpowders

Haydn man said:


> Hell, can Gardiner conduct in Japenese would be more to the point!
> A fool and his money are soon parted old chap


Now I'm REALLY getting scared!!


----------



## Haydn man

I always thought that the letter at the end of a work was the mark the reviewers had given it. So my whole collection is in works in A major.
Do I lack understanding?


----------



## SimonNZ

Philip Glass' "Ninety-Nine Bottles Of Beer On The Wall"


----------



## hpowders

I've been lurking. I notice the forum is under repair a lot. Can they perhaps tell us in advance when the handyman comes to fix it, so maybe I can see a movie instead of waiting around?


----------



## hpowders

Duplicate post.


----------



## hpowders

Wrong thread.


----------



## hpowders

Ooh! Ooh! I just saw a thread, "Maria Callas Live!!" I'm one of her biggest fans!! Where can I get a ticket? Hope it ain't too late!! I would even sit in the balcony!!


----------



## Kibbles Croquettes

Has anyone got a _katzenklavier_ soundfont?

I like cats. And squirrels. And badgers. And humans.


----------



## brianvds

Would you try using a Ouija board to contact a deceased composer?


----------



## Kibbles Croquettes

brianvds said:


> Would you try using a Ouija board to contact a deceased composer?


I thought that was what the moderators were doing in the Composer Guestbooks -section.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Would you try using a Ouija board to contact a deceased composer?


Only if with free overnight delivery. I ain't no chump!!


----------



## KenOC

Ouija board -- is there another word beginning with three vowels? Probably...


----------



## brianvds

On second thoughts, perhaps it would be more fun to use one of those TV psychic mediums. 

"I'm getting something with a B.... the name begins with a B I think... anyone in the audience like a composer whose name begins with a B?"


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Title for a thread: "Favourite orchestral work by Michael Nyman"

I don't know if it's obscure or just plain stupid. :lol:


----------



## TresPicos

Haydn man said:


> I always thought that the letter at the end of a work was the mark the reviewers had given it. So my whole collection is in works in A major.
> Do I lack understanding?


This is how I have interpreted it as well. The worst work in my collection is Beethoven's 5th, which got a C minor. Someone recommended it to me and said it was really good, and I actually thought it was good and didn't really understand the mediocre grade, so obviously I lack some understanding. Lucky there's a grading system to help us amateurs.

At some point during the 20th century, the music seems to have become too difficult to review, and since it lacks a grade, I don't buy it, because I don't want to risk tainting my collection with really bad stuff.


----------



## Mahlerian

TresPicos said:


> This is how I have interpreted it as well. The worst work in my collection is Beethoven's 5th, which got a C minor. Someone recommended it to me and said it was really good, and I actually thought it was good and didn't really understand the mediocre grade, so obviously I lack some understanding. Lucky there's a grading system to help us amateurs.


His Sixth Symphony was even worse! It got an F major.



> At some point during the 20th century, the music seems to have become too difficult to review, and since it lacks a grade, I don't buy it, because I don't want to risk tainting my collection with really bad stuff.


Well that's because the liberal music education system decided it didn't want to grade compositions anymore, realizing that many feelings had been hurt and careers ruined. It's like a pre-hippie thing.


----------



## Guest

To continue the stupid thread ideas (and one put forward - ironically - by Simon Rattle), what about bringing Herbert von K back from his cryogenic coffin to head up a HIP ensemble?


----------



## hpowders

I'm writing a tone poem for my PhD dissertation and was wondering if I write it in A Major instead of D Major, could it have a subliminal effect on the professors judging me?


----------



## Haydn man

TresPicos said:


> This is how I have interpreted it as well. The worst work in my collection is Beethoven's 5th, which got a C minor. Someone recommended it to me and said it was really good, and I actually thought it was good and didn't really understand the mediocre grade, so obviously I lack some understanding. Lucky there's a grading system to help us amateurs.
> 
> At some point during the 20th century, the music seems to have become too difficult to review, and since it lacks a grade, I don't buy it, because I don't want to risk tainting my collection with really bad stuff.


Haydn writes 104 symphonies and the last 2 get an E and a D
Clearly the creative juices had dried up or the reviewers were fed up of him
Am currently re thinking my views about this Haydn


----------



## Wandering

brianvds said:


> Composers you emphatically do not want to see naked.


What about composers that would make you burst into carnal bliss the very instant you saw them naked?


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

(choose musical genre) Beethoven vs. Composer A vs. Composer B vs. Composer C ...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Haydn man said:


> I always thought that the letter at the end of a work was the mark the reviewers had given it. So my whole collection is in works in A major.
> Do I lack understanding?


But Mozart's 40th is in G Minor!


----------



## Woodduck

Mahlerian said:


> Well that's because the liberal music education system decided it didn't want to grade compositions anymore, realizing that many feelings had been hurt and careers ruined. It's like a pre-hippie thing.


Eliminating grading was very liberating. Now we can compose any way we like and nobody will tell us to get a real job.


----------



## Wandering

Woodduck said:


> Eliminating grading was very liberating. Now we can compose any way we like and nobody will tell us to get a real job.


Quite revealing, finally all that hippie stuff now makes perfect sense, I couldn't possibly ever thank you enough.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> But Mozart's 40th is in G Minor!


Depends on the orchestral tuning. Back in the day G minor was a touch lower than it is now.


----------



## Woodduck

hpowders said:


> Depends on the orchestral tuning. Back in the day G minor was a touch lower than it is now.


Whew! Good thing he at least got his symphony grade up to C before he died.


----------



## hpowders

Woodduck said:


> Whew! Good thing he at least got his symphony grade up to C before he died.


Those people were so lucky back in the day. They always got to hear stylish HIP performances taken at proper pitch.


----------



## Wandering

Eat your heart out Jaques-Dalcroze!


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

Clovis said:


> Eat your heart out Jaques-Dalcroze!


This guy's like the mojo before Austin Powers came along.


----------



## Wandering

Would it be okay with everyone if I posted something that is absolutely ridiculous here? hmmm? Please and thank you.


----------



## HaydnBearstheClock

No problems here .


----------



## Ingélou

'Construct your own capsule wardrobe of music.'

... http://www.talkclassical.com/35319-capsule-wardrobe-music.html ...

Oops!


----------



## millionrainbows

Somebody in another forum copied this thread idea? Now, that's* stupid!*

It's a stupid idea to copy this thread, that's all I meant. I never mentioned any names. It's probably dangerous enough to post a link to it. It might result in deletion, or in closing the thread.

We'll see; maybe that's the plan, to have *me* destroy this thread. That would be ironic, and a quite clever idea , wouldn't it?

Oh, dear, I seem to have lost my silliness!


----------



## arpeggio

The problem with the other thread in the other forum is it is not as silly as this one.

Many of them have no sense of humor and take many of the entries too seriously. 90% of the participants here realize that the posts are suppose to be a joke.

Yes, there are a few people there who are members here.

Yes Millions, the powers that be here do not want us to directly mention other forums. They really want to avoid a war breaking out with another forum which could happen. There are still some pretty nasty hombres over there.

There are some cool ones that I wish would join this forum. One of them, 'scarecrow', is the Chicago composer Frank Abbinanti.


----------



## Posie

*Bad Opera Translations*

I'll start.

German: "Isolde! Geliebte! ... Tristan! Geliebter!"

English: "Isolde! Beloved! ... Tristan! Beloved-er!"


----------



## millionrainbows

*Wagner: The Movie, starring Carl Mauldin as Wagner*...oops, I already did that one. How about W.C. Fields as Wagner?
"Ahh, yes, my pet, now I shall unfold the greatest spectacle you have ever seen...after I quench my thirst. (glug glug) Ahh, yes, my little prairie rose...(hic)...come a little closer..."


----------



## Skilmarilion

Could someone please recommend me extremely abstract avant-garde heavy atonal musics like Ludovico Einaudi?


----------



## millionrainbows

I'm extremely uncomfortable with dissonant and atonal music. Could someone recommend some extremely conservative tonal music? It must not be innovative, or veer too far from tonal center. Major tonalities are preferred, since minor is so much more chromatic, dissonant, and dark. Perhaps some early, bland Mozart, or better yet, some early, bland Haydn. Or maybe even better, an obscure contemporary of these, who wrote very predictable music. 

The reason I seek such music is because I desire to "control" my experience, thought processes, emotions, environment, and everyone around me. I cannot abide the "freedom," chaos, and unpredictability of modern music.

Now, if you will excuse me, I shall continue to clean my kitchen floor with a toothbrush.


----------



## CBD

The completely false portrayal of Beethoven in _Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure_

The worst sheet music you own...

When is Sviatoslav Richter playing in the Boston area? I couldn't find his schedule online!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

marinasabina said:


> I'll start.
> 
> German: "Isolde! Geliebte! ... Tristan! Geliebter!"
> 
> English: "Isolde! Beloved! ... Tristan! Beloved-er!"


This I did not make up, I saw it on TV in the UK:

Quizmaster: What is the Wagner opera 'Die Fledermaus' called in English?

Contestant: I know that! It's 'The Flying Mouse!'

Quizmaster: I believe the more usual English translation is 'The Bat...'


----------



## Kibbles Croquettes

millionrainbows said:


> I'm extremely uncomfortable with dissonant and atonal music. Could someone recommend some extremely conservative tonal music? It must not be innovative, or veer too far from tonal center. Major tonalities are preferred, since minor is so much more chromatic, dissonant, and dark. Perhaps some early, bland Mozart, or better yet, some early, bland Haydn. Or maybe even better, an obscure contemporary of these, who wrote very predictable music.
> 
> The reason I seek such music is because I desire to "control" my experience, thought processes, emotions, environment, and everyone around me. I cannot abide the "freedom," chaos, and unpredictability of modern music.
> 
> Now, if you will excuse me, I shall continue to clean my kitchen floor with a toothbrush.


I was still laughing at this in the shower.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

millionrainbows said:


> I'm extremely uncomfortable with dissonant and atonal music. Could someone recommend some extremely conservative tonal music? It must not be innovative, or veer too far from tonal center. Major tonalities are preferred, since minor is so much more chromatic, dissonant, and dark. Perhaps some early, bland Mozart, or better yet, some early, bland Haydn. Or maybe even better, an obscure contemporary of these, who wrote very predictable music.
> 
> The reason I seek such music is because I desire to "control" my experience, thought processes, emotions, environment, and everyone around me. I cannot abide the "freedom," chaos, and unpredictability of modern music.
> 
> Now, if you will excuse me, I shall continue to clean my kitchen floor with a toothbrush.


That is literally me a year ago.


----------



## brianvds

What kind of maniac starts a violin concerto with four tympani beats?!


----------



## aleazk

Are closeted gay misanthropic misogynist alpha males naturally more atracted to classical music?


----------



## Albert7

What is the sound of one hand clapping to Steve Reich?


----------



## SimonNZ

Is Martha and The Vandellas' "Dancing In The Street" sending a dangerous message to our children?

(okay - that was more classic music than classical)


----------



## hpowders

Music that makes you want to run to the bathroom.

First round ends December 24th at 9PM Sydney time.

I mean it. No exceptions!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Music that makes you hungry.


----------



## Figleaf

Ingélou said:


> 'Construct your own capsule wardrobe of music.'
> 
> ... http://www.talkclassical.com/35319-capsule-wardrobe-music.html ...
> 
> Oops!


That wasn't so much a stupid thread as a dauntingly erudite one, which might explain why many people didn't feel equal to answering your original post- at least, that was the case for me. I thought your pastiche of women's magazine features was very witty. Perhaps if it didn't go down well with everyone, it's because (as another thread has reliably informed me) there are practically no women on here: we don't enjoy online debate, aren't intellectual, and are generally too busy shopping in TJ Maxx- possibly for capsule wardrobes.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Music that makes you want to run to the bathroom.


Handel's Water Music. 
And anything by Mahler, after the third hour or so.


----------



## Ingélou

hpowders said:


> Music that makes you want to run to the bathroom.


Pibrochs:

*Some men there are love not a gaping pig,
Some that are mad if they behold a cat,
And others, when the bagpipe sings i' th' nose,
Cannot contain their urine.
*
Shylock in *The Merchant of Venice*


----------



## brianvds

What is your favourite recording of theremin music played on viola da gamba?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"Hi, I'm new to classical music and one thing is bothering me. Can someone tell me the difference between violins and violas? They look and sound exactly the same to me."


----------



## brianvds

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Hi, I'm new to classical music and one thing is bothering me. Can someone tell me the difference between violins and violas? They look and sound exactly the same to me."


Violas burn longer.


----------



## hpowders

Directed to those here in CIA work. I'm questioning terrorists. Is playing Wagner good for extracting information quickly?


----------



## arpeggio

*Yummy, yummy, yummy*



hpowders said:


> Directed to those here in CIA work. I'm questioning terrorists. Is playing Wagner good for extracting information quickly?


I LOVE THIS! HOME RUN MAN!!!

Maybe we should actually start a thread about this. I would pick the Ohio Express great hit "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy" or Pachelbel's _Canon_.

Pachelbel Rant:






Peter Schickele devoted an entire album to Pachelbel: http://www.schickele.com/shoppe/pdqrec/wtwp.htm

The last track was also a rant about the _Canon_.

Original "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy"






Geezer "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy":


----------



## millionrainbows

albertfallickwang said:


> What is the sound of one hand clapping to Steve Reich?


It's notated as a "rest".


----------



## millionrainbows

Finally succumbing to relentless mockery and endless analogies, a modern composer has finally written these works:

_*My Five-Year Old Could Do That*_ for piano and five-year old

*This Sounds Like A Cat Walking Across The Piano* for piano, cat, and assistant with cheese-bait


----------



## millionrainbows

*Schubert's Death and the Maiden:* I don't hear the death; it sounds like a bunch of violins. Can anyone explain?


----------



## Kibbles Croquettes

millionrainbows said:


> *This Sounds Like A Cat Walking Across The Piano* for piano, cat, and assistant with cheese-bait


Are cats that much into cheese? Oh, but the instant I said (wrote) that it brought to my mind a story about my neighbour's cats! Yes, right, well, it was strange: I was at her place and for some reason I had two different kinds of blue cheese with me. Obviously I tried if the cats would like it. It turned out that the other cat liked the other blue cheese, Aura cheese, and the other cat liked the cheaper brand more, but neither would eat the other cheese. I'm not sure if there really was so much difference to them in the cheese or if there were some kind of social cat dynamics going on. I did some more _cattus experimenttuses_ but the results were inconclusive.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

millionrainbows said:


> *Schubert's Death and the Maiden:* I don't hear the death; it sounds like a bunch of violins. Can anyone explain?


The idea is that the cellist is a maiden who, at the end, attacks the other three with her cello. Hence, she is death and a maiden.


----------



## SimonNZ

^ It would be way cool if the cellist was bowing with a scythe.


----------



## millionrainbows

Now, if the subtitle of John Cage's _*4'33"*_ had been *"Death and the Maiden,"* I would at least have been able to understand the death part.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Playing with Names:*

Reek hard, Strauss.

Dvor....AACCKK!!!

Arnold Schoenb...UUURGH!!

Moz...art?

B....ACH!

Alban B...UURRGHH!

Karlheinz Stockh...OOWWWW!...zen

Gustavo *DUDE!*...amel

Leonard BURNS!!!!!...stein

Jascha HORROR!!!!...witz


----------



## millionrainbows

Is it true, that to be considered a Romantic composer, they had to die from syphilis?


----------



## Mahlerian

millionrainbows said:


> Is it true, that to be considered a Romantic composer, they had to die from syphilis?


Yeah. That's why the era ended after the invention of penicillin.


----------



## millionrainbows

Mahlerian said:


> Yeah. That's why the era ended after the invention of penicillin.


Once again we see the influence of technology on music.

On that same note, the modern era started at about the same time as methamphetamine was invented; and hard-core serialism developed after the discovery of LSD in Switzerland.


----------



## millionrainbows

Ever notice how Schoenberg LOOKS like his music sounds?


----------



## hpowders

Given: Schubert purposely didn't finish his 8th symphony because he knew if a label was attached to it (unfinished), it would be played more often.
Debate. Discuss. References, please.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Ever notice how Schoenberg LOOKS like his music sounds?


Looks like me debating whether a post should be 8 words long or should I expend the extra energy and go for 14 words?


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> Is it true, that to be considered a Romantic composer, they had to die from syphilis?


Either that or TB. Or both. 



millionrainbows said:


> Ever notice how Schoenberg LOOKS like his music sounds?


Which inevitably leads to the stupid thread title "Composers who look like their music sounds."


----------



## Josh

Schubert, Chopin and Strauss waltz into a bar...


----------



## PetrB

Josh said:


> Schubert, Chopin and Strauss waltz into a bar...


where they all thought the beer they were served was a little bit flat.


----------



## hpowders

Why do people collect multiple recordings of the same piece? Could it be due to Alzheimers?


----------



## science

hpowders said:


> Why do people collect multiple recordings of the same piece? Could it be due to Alzheimers?


The same poster should repeatedly start variations of this thread.


----------



## hpowders

science said:


> The same poster should repeatedly start variations of this thread.


Like with Paganini?


----------



## Josh

PetrB said:


> where they all thought the beer they were served was a little bit flat.


Okay, sorry, I couldn't resist.

http://www.talkclassical.com/35496-schubert-chopin-strauss-waltz.html


----------



## hpowders

Help needed: I tried reading music, but there's like no story, only symbols.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Help needed: I tried reading music, but there's like no story, only symbols.


It's like stop motion. In the well-known fairy tale "Ascending Major Scale", a dot floats off the ground. Since one cannot print the whole thing at once, it is spread out. The vertical lines are for reference to help the editors.
You may also see signs like ">". These are like punctuation.
At the start of the story there is a squiggly sign. Fancy musicians like to call them "clefs" to feel superior, but really they are like Dewey Decimal classifications - they tell you the nature of the story involved.
Some scores have lots of lines. These are called "orchestral" scores because someone has made ("orchestrated") a very complicated plot.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> It's like stop motion. In the well-known fairy tale "Ascending Major Scale", a dot floats off the ground. Since one cannot print the whole thing at once, it is spread out. The vertical lines are for reference to help the editors.
> You may also see signs like ">". These are like punctuation.
> At the start of the story there is a squiggly sign. Fancy musicians like to call them "clefs" to feel superior, but really they are like Dewey Decimal classifications - they tell you the nature of the story involved.
> Some scores have lots of lines. These are called "orchestral" scores because someone has made ("orchestrated") a very complicated plot.


Okay, thanks. Now I can play violin fluently.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

If you're playing the violin in one of the big "Orchestra" scores, you only need to play one line, and that line represents one particular subplot of the whole story.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> If you're playing the violin in one of the big "Orchestra" scores, you only need to play one line, and that line represents one particular subplot of the whole story.


Yeah but you also write "This statement is false."


----------



## hpowders

Help! I want to set up a debate thread on TC: "Ma Vlast is better than Your Vlast!"
How can I post this? Thanks!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Yeah but you also write "This statement is false."


Does this mean that everything I have said since I got that signature is a lie? I have to think of a new one now!


----------



## hpowders

To those no longer here on the TC forum:
Which musical composition(s) or composer(s) has gotten you sworn off classical music?
Please discuss freely and keep pithiness to a minimum, thank you!


----------



## Skilmarilion

What are your top 17 greatest movements that bore you to tears?

What is your favourite work by Ligeti?

- _Le Grand Macabre_
- String Quartet #2
- 2001: A Space Odyssey


----------



## KenOC

Hi! I'm new here and I hate classical music, mostly because of the idiots and cretins who listen to it, people like the ones around here. Don't you agree? TIA for your responses!


----------



## millionrainbows

*Composers Who Look Like Their Music:*

Mozart
Beethoven
Milton Babbitt
Ligeti
Morton Feldman
Roger Sessions
Schoenberg
Webern
Bach

Hey, wait a minute...this isn't working...

*Favorite Contrabass Flute Concertos*

*Beethoven, Anger, and the Roots of Hardcore Punk Rock*

*CIA report discovered: Enhanced Interrogation Techniques Using Serial Music*


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Who is the Greatest Composer of all Time: Williams or Einaudi?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Skilmarilion said:


> What are your top 17 greatest movements that bore you to tears?
> 
> What is your favourite work by Ligeti?
> 
> - _Le Grand Macabre_
> - String Quartet #2
> - 2001: A Space Odyssey


What about Strauss?


----------



## hpowders

Is hpowders the best looking dude on TC? I'm new here, so I'm asking you folks who have dealt with him more, on the forum.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Is hpowders the best looking dude on TC? I'm new here, so I'm asking you folks who have dealt with him more, on the forum.


What about my radiantly stunning left hand though?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> What about my radiantly stunning left hand though?


That was going to be the next question.


----------



## Woodduck

hpowders said:


> Is hpowders the best looking dude on TC? I'm new here, so I'm asking you folks who have dealt with him more, on the forum.


I am happy to find hpowders better looking than others here because I have yet to see him. Anticipation is always better than reality.


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Is hpowders the best looking dude on TC? I'm new here, so I'm asking you folks who have dealt with him more, on the forum.


Are you blind?

His picture is right there, at the left, between "Senior Member" and "Join Date"!

Think before you post!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> Are you blind?
> 
> His picture is right there, at the left, between "Senior Member" and "Join Date"!
> 
> Think before you post!


Ah, _we_ know that, but a new member might not. I used to think he looked like Copland due to his photo, after all.


----------



## Dim7

Scatological humor in Mozart Concertos
Heavy Metal's influence on romantic era music
First openly gay piano sonata
Is tonality inherently sexist?


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Are you blind?
> 
> His picture is right there, at the left, between "Senior Member" and "Join Date"!
> 
> Think before you post!


Actually my true photo is on TC, as Leonard Bernstein might say, "Somewhere".


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Ah, _we_ know that, but a new member might not. I used to think he looked like Copland due to his photo, after all.


That's why I removed it.


----------



## hpowders

Woodduck said:


> I am happy to find hpowders better looking than others here because I have yet to see him. Anticipation is always better than reality.


Sounds like the conditions needed to set up a massive coronary.

(Go Florida State. Beat Oregon Ducks!!)


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Actually my true photo is on TC, as Leonard Bernstein might say, "Somewhere".


So, your true photo looks like a mix of Bernstein and Copland, then? Did you look more like Copland when you were younger and then more like Bernstein as you got older, or the other way around? This is confusing for me, and for others, I'm sure.

Please discuss, without strife or irregularities.


----------



## hpowders

Without naming names, who are the most arrogant posters and who are the most humble posters on TC?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Poll: are you a logical listener?
-Yes
-No
-Unsure

I voted yes. A good listener should always be logical. Mozart was a logical listener.


----------



## Dim7

Which composers, if alive today, would be bronies?
Coloratura soprano covers Yngwie Malmsteen's Blitzkrieg, outspeeding him


----------



## Carstenb

Schumann Schmumann: Why I think Robert Schumann was not "oh so virtuoso"


----------



## arpeggio

*I quit*

Even though I have a hundred friends and I receive five likes for every post I have submitted, because one person has been mean to me I quit.


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> Poll: are you a logical listener?
> -Yes
> -No
> -Unsure
> 
> I voted yes. A good listener should always be logical. Mozart was a logical listener.


Yes! Yes! I am.

When I listen to a Bach fugue I often say, "That sounds very logical. Why didn't I think of that?"
Plato was known to be a logical listener too.


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> Even though I have a hundred friends and I receive five likes for every post I have submitted, because one person has been mean to me I quit.


Did you go through channels first? 1. Apprentice Mod. 2.First Lieutenant Mod. 3.Sergeant Mod. 4. Regular Mod. 5.Captain Mod. 6. Thread Repair Mod. 7. Super Mod. ???

Try that first. Your issue may be resolved.

Trust me. The sun will come out tomorrow!


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Is tonality inherently sexist?


Interesting idea! Since tonality is based on an hierarchy of tones, then this was modeled on, and reflects, the other hierarchies which were in place at the time, and those were based on patriarchal hierarchies of the Church and State.

Plus, other aspects of traditional CP tonality and classical music in general are based on patriarchal male models, such as the idea of the "genius" and male composers and conductors. So, yes, I'd say this is a definite "yes," and that this particular thread idea is not so stupid after all.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Scatological humor in Mozart Concertos


There's scatological humour in Mozart's everything.


Dim7 said:


> Heavy Metal's influence on romantic era music


The romantic era was obviously caused by heavy metal performers travelling back in time to the 1800s and telling Beethoven all about their music. He was inspired to start a new era. Honestly, everyone knows that.


Dim7 said:


> First openly gay piano sonata


Now this is more difficult, though the answer can still be found. A few years ago, historians found a 19th-century piano sonata in which the first letter of each performance direction reads "I am a homosexual". The sonata was subtitled the "Luaxesomoh", which is "homosexual" backwards. Whether or not this is "openly" gay is subject to debate, but it's close at least.


Dim7 said:


> Is tonality inherently sexist?


Definitely yes. The whole thing reeks of the patriarchy. Hidden within the scale are the degree names _dominant_ and _subdominant_, obviously references to the domination of males over females.


----------



## SimonNZ

okay...so I've finally managed to smuggle in all these birds from New Caledonia and elsewhere...now how do I get them to follow a Messiaen score?


----------



## hpowders

I'm looking for a heavier and darker classical music forum. Is this it?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> The romantic era was obviously caused by heavy metal performers travelling back in time to the 1800s and telling Beethoven all about their music. He was inspired to start a new era. Honestly, everyone knows that.


That's bunch of baloney. I'm frankly insulted by all these classicalheads making up these tenuous connections between classical music and metal. Always flooding metal forums with topic titles like "Recommend me some light and relaxing metal music" 



MoonlightSonata said:


> Now this is more difficult, though the answer can still be found. A few years ago, historians found a 19th-century piano sonata in which the first letter of each performance direction reads "I am a homosexual". The sonata was subtitled the "Luaxesomoh", which is "homosexual" backwards. Whether or not this is "openly" gay is subject to debate, but it's close at least.


Please, I'm obviously not talking about piano sonatas announcing verbally their homosexuality. By "openly gay" I mean two heroic, male themes having sexual intercourse in the development section of the first movement. That may sound offensive but it's nothing compared to the rape scene in Beethoven's Ninth.



MoonlightSonata said:


> Definitely yes. The whole thing reeks of the patriarchy. Hidden within the scale are the degree names _dominant_ and _subdominant_, obviously references to the domination of males over females.


I wound argue that composers who preferred the subdominant over the dominant were the first feminists. Subdominant obviously refers to being "versatile", submissive and dominant in turns.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> okay...so I've finally managed to smuggle in all these birds from New Caledonia and elsewhere...now how do I get them to follow a Messiaen score?


Doh -- sprinkle birdseed all over the scores' pages... 
or... 
I hear if you blow in their ear, they'll follow you anywhere.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Site Feedback and Technical Support:

Dear All. I have made 4 significant posts already and am eager to become Forum Administrator ASAP. Who do I need to write to? Also, could somebody please prepare a congratulations thread for myself in time for when I have acquired my Administrator privileges? Many thanks in advance.


----------



## Guest

Skilmarilion said:


> Site Feedback and Technical Support:
> 
> Dear All. I have made 4 significant posts already and am eager to become Forum Administrator ASAP. Who do I need to write to? Also, could somebody please prepare a congratulations thread for myself in time for when I have acquired my Administrator privileges? Many thanks in advance.


You need to write to me. Check your PM for my bank details.
Enjoy your modding.


----------



## Guest

Violins. Who needs them?


----------



## Ingélou

gog said:


> Violins. Who needs them?


That's simple - everyone!


----------



## TresPicos

Why is it that so many composers live for as many decades as their first name has letters?

Some examples:

*Carl *Maria von Weber: 4 decades
*Alban *Berg: 5 decades
*Arthur *Honegger: 6,3 decades
*Edvard *Grieg: 6,4 decades
*Gabriel *Fauré: more than 7 decades
*Ludwig *van Beethoven: almost 6 decades
Dmitri (*Дми́трий*) Shostakovich: almost 7 decades
*Oilivier *Messiaen: more than 8 decades
Jean (Johan Julius *Christian*) Sibelius: more than 9 decades

It's kind of spooky, isn't it? But could there be a rational explanation for it?


----------



## sharik

http://www.talkclassical.com/35497-can-pets-like-dislike.html


----------



## DiesIraeCX

^
Can we perhaps not directly and unambiguously deride other threads, much less provide a direct link? Learn to take yourself and this forum a bit less seriously and you might actually enjoy your time here. 

Hasn't this been discussed (and agreed upon) multiple times?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> ^
> Can we perhaps not directly and unambiguously deride other threads, much less provide a direct link? Learn to take yourself and this forum a bit less seriously and you might actually enjoy your time here.
> 
> Hasn't this been discussed (and agreed upon) multiple times?


It does seem quite nasty to call someone's thread idea "stupid". I think we have agreed this in the past.


----------



## hpowders

sharik said:


> http://www.talkclassical.com/35497-can-pets-like-dislike.html


 It's demeaning to a poster when you copy the words of a serious thread title and post it here verbatim on the "stupid thread idea" thread.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Beethoven stole ideas for his Moonlight piano sonata from Bach's "Moonlight In Leipzig" Clavier Sonata in C# minor?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Is it true that Beethoven got his inspiration for his Moonlight piano sonata from Bach's "Moonlight In Leipzig" Clavier Sonata in C# minor?


And is it true that Handel disliked the sonata so much that he threatened to destroy his works if it was published?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> And is it true that Handel disliked the sonata so much that he threatened to destroy his works if it was published?


Through psychotherapy he was able to_ handel_ it better.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Through psychotherapy he was able to_ handel_ it better.


Did you just...?


----------



## Guest

*Can the working class appreciate classical music?*

Scientists already know that they make "chanting" sounds at football matches but is this innate tribal utterance a sign of genuine musical understanding?


----------



## TresPicos

TresPicos said:


> Why is it that so many composers live for as many decades as their first name has letters?
> 
> Some examples:
> 
> *Carl *Maria von Weber: 4 decades
> *Alban *Berg: 5 decades
> *Arthur *Honegger: 6,3 decades
> *Edvard *Grieg: 6,4 decades
> *Gabriel *Fauré: more than 7 decades
> *Ludwig *van Beethoven: almost 6 decades
> Dmitri (*Дми́трий*) Shostakovich: almost 7 decades
> *Oilivier *Messiaen: more than 8 decades
> Jean (Johan Julius *Christian*) Sibelius: more than 9 decades
> 
> It's kind of spooky, isn't it? But could there be a rational explanation for it?


I have received a PM pointing out that Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart does not fit in here. Well, of course there will be exceptions to the rule, but in the case of Mozart, he only lived for 3,5 decades, and it's quite impossible to have a name that consists of 3,5 letters, so the rule cannot really apply to him in the first place.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dear TC,

I'd like to scotch the rumours that the length of our first name / length of our lifespan rule does not apply to some of the great composers who died young. I can assure you, my name is quite consistent with the rule, and I'm disappointed that you're suggesting otherwise down on Earth.

Yours,
Wolf Mozart

P.S. Fran and Feli are also livid about this, so watch out!


----------



## sharik

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Can we perhaps not directly and unambiguously deride other threads, much less provide a direct link? Learn to take yourself and this forum a bit less seriously and you might actually enjoy your time here. Hasn't this been discussed (and agreed upon) multiple times?


discussed, yes. agreed - not.


----------



## sharik

hpowders said:


> It's demeaning to a poster when you copy the words of a serious thread title and post it here verbatim on the "stupid thread idea" thread.


he shouldn't take this seriously.


----------



## hpowders

sharik said:


> he shouldn't take this seriously.


We certainly hope not!


----------



## hpowders

Hello TC! I am a pithy poster and was told a near legendary practicer of posting minimalism, the Seinfeld of posters, hangs out here. What is his name and how can I contact him. All inquiries strictly confidential.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Hello TC! I am a pithy poster and was told a near legendary practicer of posting minimalism, the Seinfeld of posters, hangs out here. What is his name and how can I contact him. All inquiries strictly confidential.


It's really not difficult. You can find him on most threads.


----------



## SimonNZ

sharik said:


> discussed, yes. agreed - not.


Bayreuth hijacked ?

Bwahahaha! Stupid thread idea! What a joke! What retard started this? Lol!

Hilarious, right?

You don't think so? I don't think so, either.


----------



## SimonNZ

Reiterating and enforcing medieval Papal edicts on the correct composition and performance of choral music.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> Reiterating and enforcing medieval Papal edicts on the correct composition and performance of choral music.


_What the J. J. Fux?_


----------



## SimonNZ

PetrB said:


> _What the J. J. Fux?_


? Was that one above a misfire?


----------



## PetrB

What I can't figure out is why the composing more in a manner for clarity of text in contrapuntal later renaissance writing -- as per medieval Papal edicts on the correct composition and performance of choral music -- should be credited to a blond horse with a white mane and tail!


----------



## SimonNZ

PetrB said:


> What I can't figure out is why the composing more in a manner for clarity of text in contrapuntal later renaissance writing -- as per medieval Papal edicts on the correct composition and performance of choral music -- should be credited to a blond horse with a white mane and tail!


Heh, okay, I'm still not sure what you mean.Can I ask you to explain again?

You may need to use sock puppets.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> Heh, okay, I'm still not sure what you mean.Can I ask you to explain again?
> 
> You may need to use sock puppets.


it is an associative and far tangential stretch from 
*Palestrina -- to -- Palomino*, 
but I tried to make it, nonetheless.

The earlier one, well I assume most anyone on this site has some notion of who Johann Joseph Fux was


----------



## hpowders

Do you enjoy minimalistic posting?


----------



## KenOC

hpowders said:


> Do you enjoy minimalistic posting?


Some folks, the minimaler the better.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

KenOC said:


> Some folks, the *minim*aler the better.


*Crotchet*y answer, Ken (this is the Musical word association thread, right?)


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> *Crotchet*y answer, Ken (this is the Musical word association thread, right?)


The irony with that system? The shorter the duration value, the longer the term for it!

"Hemidemisemiquaver" is hardly a brief term to quantify the duration of a 64th note, now is it?


----------



## PetrB

------------------ sorry, duplicate ------------------------


----------



## MoonlightSonata

PetrB said:


> The irony with that system? "Hemisemidemiquaver" is hardly a brief term to quantify the duration of a 64th note, now is it?


But since when is music logical? :lol:


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Do you enjoy minimalistic posting?


No. A post should be like the world - it must embrace everything!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Do you enjoy minimalistic posting?





Dim7 said:


> No. A post should be like the world - it must embrace everything!


Wouldn't you agree that a post is fine as long as it satisfies its final aim and reason: the glorification of God and the refreshment of the spirit?


----------



## Dim7

> Wouldn't you agree that a post is fine as long as it satisfies its final aim and reason: the glorification of God and the refreshment of the spirit?


As long as there is a profoundly logical connection with all the other posts in the thread in question.


----------



## sharik

http://www.talkclassical.com/35621-do-you-prefer-wagners.html


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Thread Idea Suite in English (nicknamed "Ouroboros"), op. 230

1. Is this thread title stupid?
2. Does this thread title refer to itself?
3. This is not a thread title. It is an idea of a thread title.
4. If a moderator bans all those, and only those forum members who don't ban themselves, will he ban himself?


----------



## millionrainbows

Do you like Bartok's music? If so, prove it! Prove that it's good! I can't stand his music myself, and until I get some incontrovertible evidence that it's good, I will stand my ground! Of course, no proof is required with Mozart...that is a self-evident truth.


----------



## Morimur

*OH NO YOU DIDN'T!*

A therapeutic forum where one can heal and talk about the intense verbal / psychological abuse suffered at the hands of other TC members.

_DO NOT BE A VICTIM! BREAK THE CYCLE! HEAL and EMPOWER YOURSELF!_


----------



## Dim7

Fastest performance of John Cage's 4′33″


----------



## ahammel

Penderecki the traitorous sell-out: is death too good for him?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

sharik said:


> http://www.talkclassical.com/35621-do-you-prefer-wagners.html


Please, can you stop linking to other threads? 
Also, what's wrong with that? They do have some similarities, and both have their haters and fans.


----------



## hpowders

Should I go to Bayreuth to see Wagner's Ring? isn't Lebanon a terrorist zone? I'm scared.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

sharik said:


> Do you prefer *redacted* or *redacted* Rings?


OK, so does this mean that this thread has now officially jumped the sharik?


----------



## hpowders

I see Schubert is the composer of the month. So, like, I have to listen to his music for like 30 days.
Can I cancel my membership in this club?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I see Schubert is the composer of the month. So, like, I have to listen to his music for like 30 days.
> Can I cancel my membership in this club?


Is he? Can I join?


----------



## ahammel

Top 10 composers (alphabetically)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"Post a picture of yourself with your face covered in some way."
I have several ready.


----------



## Dim7

What's your favorite string on a violin?
Which are better, the black keys or the white keys of the piano?
What's your favorite composer who's name ends with -sky?


----------



## SimonNZ

Should we boycott Horowitz's recordings because he used pianos made with genuine ivory?


----------



## Dim7

Aren't forum posts, by their very nature, essentially powerless to express anything at all?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Aren't forum posts, by their very nature, essentially powerless to express anything at all?


I'm not sure; could you elaborate?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Is he? Can I join?


Ha! Ha! Your loyalty is touching!!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Post a picture of yourself with your face covered in some way."
> I have several ready.


Yes. That hand is becoming famous!!! :lol:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Yes. That hand is becoming famous!!! :lol:


I'd better do some left hand exercises in case any tourists come to see!


----------



## Kibbles Croquettes

hpowders said:


> Yes. That hand is becoming famous!!! :lol:


It is a fact known only by few that Arnold Schönberg actually based his opera Die glückliche Hand on MoonlighSonata's hand.


----------



## brianvds

Kibbles Croquettes said:


> It is a fact known only by few that Arnold Schönberg actually based his opera Die glückliche Hand on MoonlighSonata's hand.


That is also where he got the inspiration for his Moonstruck Sonata.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Moonlight" is a common mistranslation of the German "Mondschein" for Beethoven's Piano Sonata No.14, which would in English more accurately be rendered as "Moonshine". 

Beethoven's intention was to depict the three stages of drunkenness: 1. Serene euphoria 2.Dawning of regret 3. Explosive vomiting


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> "Moonlight" is a common mistranslation of the German "Mondschein" for Beethoven's Piano Sonata No.14, which would in English more accurately be rendered as "Moonshine".
> 
> Beethoven's intention was to depict the three stages of drunkenness: 1. Serene euphoria 2.Dawning of regret 3. Explosive vomiting


I will never listen to it in the same way again now


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> "Moonlight" is a common mistranslation of the German "Mondschein" for Beethoven's Piano Sonata No.14, which would in English more accurately be rendered as "Moonshine".
> 
> Beethoven's intention was to depict the three stages of drunkenness: 1. Serene euphoria 2.Dawning of regret 3. Explosive vomiting


I think the older Beethoven might have added a final fugue movement:

Fugue:

1. Music: A contrapuntal musical composition whose basic structure consists of a theme or themes stated successively in different voices.
2. Psychiatry: A dissociative state, marked by wandering away from home and an inability to remember one's past.


----------



## hpowders

Was Ravel like the first Minimalist? I'm thinking that because he composed Bolero.


----------



## hpowders

Where can I purchase a bag of tells, just like Beethoven used to eat? I will be in Vienna next week and don't want to miss out on being able to dine on what the master ate.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Greatest Mono recordings of Cage's _As Slow as Possible_.

What are your top 6 favourite note changes in Cage's _As Slow as Possible_?

Which note change in Cage's _As Slow as Possible_ is in your top 4 greatest note changes that bores you to tears?

*Breaking news!!! * 
Couple in Bismarck, North Dakota discover a 4-hand piano duet transcription for Cage's _As Slow as Possible_. They begin performing this piece in front of friends and family for Christmas, only to seriously regret this later that day ...


----------



## Haydn man

I just realised by recording of 4' 33'' is in mono


----------



## hpowders

Haydn man said:


> I just realised by recording of 4' 33'' is in mono


I got the same one!! When I discovered that, I returned it in less than five minutes.


----------



## Haydn man

hpowders said:


> Where can I purchase a bag of tells, just like Beethoven used to eat? I will be in Vienna next week and don't want to miss out on being able to dine on what the master ate.


These days tells come in boxes at all good Vienese grocers
I am surprised hpowders that you didn't know, consult Trip Advisor for more info


----------



## Haydn man

hpowders said:


> I see Schubert is the composer of the month. So, like, I have to listen to his music for like 30 days.
> Can I cancel my membership in this club?


Yes, and you have to damn well like his music as well


----------



## hpowders

Haydn man said:


> These days tells come in boxes at all good Vienese grocers
> I am surprised hpowders that you didn't know, consult Trip Advisor for more info


Yes! Yes! I found one online. William's Tells, LTD!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

What is less well known is that Georg Philipp Telemann came from a long line of telle makers in Magdeburg (where it was spelt tele- in the Prussian manner).

The 1962 UK and US hit, written by Joe Meek "Telstar" had been derived from "La Marche d'Austerlitz" which was a celebration of that town's Tellemachers (or Telemenchen) who played a vital part in the Battle of Austerlitz, holding up Napoleon's invading army by throwing their rock hard 'telles' at them. Hence they were armed with a 'bag-a-telles'

Is that not right? Perhaps I have been paying too many visits to 'Rock me Amadeus', or it might be the peyote...


----------



## hpowders

Haydn man said:


> Yes, and you have to damn well like his music as well


That eliminates me, I guess.


----------



## Dim7

gog said:


> I'm not sure; could you elaborate?


Perhaps I should retitle that as "Programmatic vs. absolute posting"
Some other stupid ones:

FinnAles of Sibelius: Odes to Finnish beer

Addicted to "Stupid thread Ideas" thread

Studies show: Babies prefer Schoenberg Over physical torture. Some of them.

Worst nickname on TalkClassical

Of all the dead composers, which of them had the coolest way of dying?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Skilmarilion said:


> Greatest Mono recordings of Cage's _As Slow as Possible_.
> 
> What are your top 6 favourite note changes in Cage's _As Slow as Possible_?
> 
> Which note change in Cage's _As Slow as Possible_ is in your top 4 greatest note changes that bores you to tears?
> 
> *Breaking news!!! *
> Couple in Bismarck, North Dakota discover a 4-hand piano duet transcription for Cage's _As Slow as Possible_. They begin performing this piece in front of friends and family for Christmas, only to seriously regret this later that day ...


*More Breaking News*
For a recent composition project, a young composer wrote an avant-garde organ work entitled _20 Variations on a Theme by Cage_. Unfortunately for the judges, who were required to listen, the theme was _As Slow As Possible._


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which posters are going to heaven? Choose up to 5.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Poll: Which posters are going to heaven? Choose up to 5.


I'm more worried about who's going to hell...


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I'm more worried about who's going to hell...


Well, that would be a much, much longer list!!!


----------



## brianvds

Why didn't Holst compose more music as more and more planets and other celestial bodies were discovered?


----------



## Skilmarilion

hpowders said:


> Well, that would be a much, much longer list!!!


as Oscar Wilde once said:

_"I don't want to go to heaven because ... none of my friends are there"._


----------



## TresPicos

I lost a bet during Christmas and now I have to start listening to classical music. Is there any classical music that sounds like The Knack's "My Sharona"? Because that's my favorite song of all time.


----------



## Skilmarilion

*AN IMPORTANT POLL REGARDING OTHER MEMBERS ON TC*

Which TC members have your top 4 most favourite post counts?

As of right now, which TC member has the greatest time of last activity?

Which TC members avatars make it in your list of top 18 most greatest avatars that bore you to tears?

Which TC member has the post per day average that best represents humanity?


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> What is less well known is that Georg Philipp Telemann came from a long line of telle makers in Magdeburg (where it was spelt tele- in the Prussian manner).
> 
> The 1962 UK and US hit, written by Joe Meek "Telstar" had been derived from "La Marche d'Austerlitz" which was a celebration of that town's Tellemachers (or Telemenchen) who played a vital part in the Battle of Austerlitz, holding up Napoleon's invading army by throwing their rock hard 'telles' at them. Hence they were armed with a 'bag-a-telles'
> 
> Is that not right? Perhaps I have been paying too many visits to 'Rock me Amadeus', or it might be the peyote...


They used to sell Peyote Tell Bon-bons in the (cannabis) Coffeeshops in Amsterdam, but the shopowners, in an agreement with the Dutch Police and Health Services, voluntarily discontinued them -- too many disoriented tourists requiring a disproportionate amount of those public servants' time being talked and calmed down from the various freaked-out states so many of them had gotten into.


----------



## TresPicos

*The Talk Classical Yearly Boycott - 2015 Edition*

The voting thread is now closed, and the composer to boycott during 2015 is... *Benjamin Britten*! All Talk Classical members should refrain from discussing or listening to Britten during the whole of 2015.

This also means that the 2014 boycott of Max Bruch has come to an end. So, feel free to listen to those violin concertos again!


----------



## Dim7

If scherzo means "a joke", are romantic era scherzos romantic comedies then?

Scherzos that actually make you lol


----------



## hpowders

Did God purposely design heaven and hell to segregate tonal composers from atonal?


----------



## hpowders

Musical Roundabouts!

Roundabouts reduce traffic flow making travel more safe. We post a lot about trying new composers and works.
As a change of pace, who are your three most safe, go-to composers?

(Oh crap!! This is an intelligent thread!! What's wrong with me???)


----------



## SimonNZ

Could orchestras learn a lesson from Formula One by having the musicians more inclined to play fast at the front of the stage and those inclined to play slow at the back. Wouldn't this make for a less "cluttered" sound (and avoid "aural pile-ups")?


----------



## Ingélou

TresPicos said:


> The voting thread is now closed, and the composer to boycott during 2015 is... *Benjamin Britten*!


:clap:Yay!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


----------



## SimonNZ

TresPicos said:


> The voting thread is now closed, and the composer to boycott during 2015 is... *Benjamin Britten*!


In reality half of TC would vote for whoever - the other half would vote for Schoenberg, so he'd "win" every year.

Oh the flame wars that would ensue!


----------



## ahammel

brianvds said:


> Why didn't Holst compose more music as more and more planets and other celestial bodies were discovered?


<missingthejoke>
Because The Planets is about astrology, not astronomy.
</missingthejoke>


----------



## hpowders

If Mozart could sign his autograph at the rate of 237 times an hour, what would be his average time signature?


----------



## hpowders

Can anyone help me find a Tinkle Bell harpsichord model used by the Dutch virtuoso Pieter Pahn?


----------



## Yoshi

What are your favourite lost works and why?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Yoshi said:


> What are your favourite lost works and why?


Britten's Simple Symphony and String Quartet #1. but it's OK, they'd just been misfiled amongst romantic era works, so found now...


----------



## brianvds

Dim7 said:


> If scherzo means "a joke", are romantic era scherzos romantic comedies then?
> 
> Scherzos that actually make you lol


Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony was originally titled "Four weddings and a scherzo," but he furiously scratched out the title when he learned that Hugh Grant had been caught with a prostitute.


----------



## SimonNZ

The supertitles at my local opera are so different to what's being sung on stage its like they're two different languages.

_ba-dom-cha_


----------



## brianvds

ahammel said:


> <missingthejoke>
> Because The Planets is about astrology, not astronomy.
> </missingthejoke>


But Comet Lovejoy is currently gracing our skies:

http://www.skyandtelescope.com/astr...met-lovejoy-heading-c2014-q2-lovejoy-1211142/

Surely this must have some astrological significance (e.g. 2015 will be a year of love and joy). Can't Holst scribble us even three minutes of good music for this event?

Next thing we'll hear there's never going to be another book in the Game of Thrones series either...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Hi, I'm new here. I saw the identifying music forum and wondered if anyone here could help me with this song I heard. It goes like this:
Dadada, dadada, dadadadumty, dadadum dadadum dadadum (twice)
Daaaaaa daaaaa, da dum dum dee, dum dum dee, ba dum da de da dum ba dee,
Nananananananananananannana na!
La la la, la la la, deeda deeda deeda deeda da da da!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

^If anyone can actually work out what piece I was "narrating", they will have my eternal awe.


----------



## ahammel

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hi, I'm new here. I saw the identifying music forum and wondered if anyone here could help me with this song I heard. It goes like this:
> Dadada, dadada, dadadadumty, dadadum dadadum dadadum (twice)
> Daaaaaa daaaaa, da dum dum dee, dum dum dee, ba dum da de da dum ba dee,
> Nananananananananananannana na!
> La la la, la la la, deeda deeda deeda deeda da da da!


Yahoo answers is stranger than fiction.


----------



## brianvds

ahammel said:


> Yahoo answers is stranger than fiction.


LOL!

15 chars:

dum-dum-boom
er-er-KERR!
KABOOM!


----------



## TresPicos

*A question about cord progression*

During the intermission at a concert recently, I heard someone talk about the "beautiful and astonishing cord progression". Back inside the concert hall, the only cord I could see was the one connected to a microphone on stage, but that was just a plain black cord progressing into a loop on the floor and then further on to somewhere backstage. I couldn't see anything astonishing about it. So, I left it at that and focused on the music instead, but now I'm kind of curious. Are there any audiophiles in this forum that could perhaps explain this subtle beauty of cords?


----------



## SimonNZ

^ That was me. I was referring to the velvet rope separating we upper class from the commoners such as yourself.


----------



## science

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hi, I'm new here. I saw the identifying music forum and wondered if anyone here could help me with this song I heard. It goes like this:
> Dadada, dadada, dadadadumty, dadadum dadadum dadadum (twice)
> Daaaaaa daaaaa, da dum dum dee, dum dum dee, ba dum da de da dum ba dee,
> Nananananananananananannana na!
> La la la, la la la, deeda deeda deeda deeda da da da!


Definitely Mozart.


----------



## SimonNZ

science said:


> Definitely Mozart.


I dunno...the deeda and dadadum are certainly typical of Mozart, but I associate the dadadadumty with more of a Brahmsian development.


----------



## Dim7

Is the ability to come up with lots of stupid thread titles a sign of stupidity or intelligence?

Contest: Let's see who can come up with the most convoluted, confusing and counter-intuitive harmonic analysis of Lady Gaga's latest hits (millionrainbows prohibited from entering the contest, but can serve as a coach/judge)

Musical equivalents of different types of government (like pop music = democracy, free atonality = anarchism, total serialism = totalitarian communism etc.)

MBTI types of each composer's music or individual works (Bach INTJ, Wagner ENFP, Debussy ISFP etc.)


----------



## Skilmarilion

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hi, I'm new here. I saw the identifying music forum and wondered if anyone here could help me with this song I heard. It goes like this:
> Dadada, dadada, dadadadumty, dadadum dadadum dadadum (twice)
> Daaaaaa daaaaa, da dum dum dee, dum dum dee, ba dum da de da dum ba dee,
> Nananananananananananannana na!
> La la la, la la la, deeda deeda deeda deeda da da da!


that's the scherzo to Bruckner 8, you're welcome. :tiphat:


----------



## Yoshi

Here's my latest contribution to the Fanfiction sub-forum:

Title: "A love triangle" 
Rated: PG-13 Theme: Romance/Supernatural Chapters: 10 [Brahms, Schumann, Clara]

Summary:
Living in a 19th century Germany, where vampires have become common citizens, Clara and Robert seem like the perfect human couple. But what will happen when a young vampire, Johannes Brahms visits their home and gets Clara's attention?


----------



## Skilmarilion

*Non-stupid* thread ideas.


----------



## millionrainbows

Yoshi said:


> Here's my latest contribution to the Fanfiction sub-forum:
> 
> Title: "A love triangle"
> Rated: PG-13 Theme: Romance/Supernatural Chapters: 10 [Brahms, Schumann, Clara]
> 
> Summary:
> Living in a 19th century Germany, where vampires have become common citizens, Clara and Robert seem like the perfect human couple. But what will happen when a young vampire, Johannes Brahms visits their home and gets Clara's attention?


But...does Johann know that Alma is...pregnant? And what about Arnold? (organ music with heavy vibrato)


----------



## hpowders

Skilmarilion said:


> *Non-stupid* thread ideas.


This has been tested and re-tested, ad nauseam. It has never worked!


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Male or female posters?


----------



## Dim7

Favorite male composer


----------



## millionrainbows

Composers Who Smell Like A Whataburger With Onions


----------



## hpowders

Recommend some good terrorist music from Syria. I'm having a burka party on Tuesday.


----------



## Haydn man

What's with this guy who arrives last at every concert I have ever been to, then stands in front of orchestra with his back to me and waves his arms, who does he think he is?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Haydn man said:


> What's with this guy who arrives last at every concert I have ever been to, then stands in front of orchestra with his back to me and waves his arms, who does he think he is?


I think the idea is that he hits musicians with a wooden stick thing if they play a wrong note.


----------



## KenOC

Some of the braver ones use their bare hands.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

KenOC said:


> Some of the braver ones use their bare hands.


Yes, but they're just Boulez


----------



## PetrB

echo said:


> this site could have a kiddies corner - for those that know nothing about music except what they like


"I don't know anything about art, but I know what I like."

"_I'm sure you're exactly right on both counts."_

[ © p.b. 2014 ~ _but feel free to use it any time such an occasion arises... and life will offer a multitude of occasions enough _]


----------



## science

TurnaboutVox said:


> Yes, but they're just Boulez


This was a Hall of Fame post.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> I think the idea is that he hits musicians with a wooden stick thing if they play a wrong note.*


* _Not to be confused with Nuns who taught in parochial schools throughout the world during the mid-20th century._


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hi, I'm new here. I saw the identifying music forum and wondered if anyone here could help me with this song I heard. It goes like this:
> Dadada, dadada, dadadadumty, dadadum dadadum dadadum (twice)
> Daaaaaa daaaaa, da dum dum dee, dum dum dee, ba dum da de da dum ba dee,
> Nananananananananananannana na!
> La la la, la la la, deeda deeda deeda deeda da da da!





ahammel said:


> Yahoo answers is stranger than fiction.


The thing is, I've seen many an entry on YA quite like the above, _and then a member there has actually nailed the answer._ Whenever I saw that happen -- and I've seen it several times, at least -- I was in awe of whomever figured it out.

Maybe those who get and give the right answers to such Q's are all percussionists?


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> Yes, but they're just Boulez


... and the mighty Charles Munch.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

PetrB said:


> The thing is, I've seen many an entry on YA quite like the above, _and then a member there has actually nailed the answer._ Whenever I saw that happen -- and I've seen it several times, at least -- I was in awe of whomever figured it out.
> 
> Maybe those who get and give the right answers to such Q's are all percussionists?


Nobody's guessed mine yet - not enough percussionists, maybe?
Perhaps the person who guessed that it was Mozart plays the piano - sort of percussion, but not quite?


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Nobody's guessed mine yet - not enough percussionists, maybe?
> Perhaps the person who guessed that it was Mozart plays the piano - sort of percussion, but not quite?


Are you sure you took that dictation down without errors?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

PetrB said:


> Are you sure you took that dictation down without errors?


Oops, the last line is incorrect. It should, of course, read:
Daaaaa, la la la, la la la, deeda deeda deeda deeda da da da!

Does that make it any easier


----------



## SimonNZ

"My Humps, My Humps", And Other Contemporary Leider


----------



## Dim7

Scientifically proved: Nobody has ever in history genuinely enjoyed classical music, everyone was faking it all along


----------



## TresPicos

The "ber" in Webern, Berg and Schoenberg - not a coincidence!

If the world woke up one morning and classical music was just a dream, who would be the first new classical composer, and what would the first classical work be? 

Sliced bread vs loaves of bread. What's your opinion, and would you stick to it even on a desert island? (If you wan't to discuss buns, please do that in the bun thread)

Competition: Invent a new clef! The winner will see that clef used in the next composition by Brahms. 

Oregano in opera - need help with thesis

Poll: Favorite ominous music to play while in the car wash? 
- Beathoven: 5th symphony
- Wagner: Right of the Valley Chris
- Orf: Oh For Tuna
- Bartok: 4th string quartet
- Stravinsky: Right Offspring
- Mozart: Requirement
- Verdi: Dies Erie
- Other (please specify)


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: Insult previous poster
The most slightly bad composition in classical music
Rank instruments by masculinity/feminity
Which composer would make the most convincing transvestite?


----------



## Skilmarilion

Favourite symphonies in no movements that move you to tears.

Objectively great Renaissance tone poems.

Your top 23 most greatest fugues in B-sharp minor.

Your top 26.254 passacaglias that bore you to tears.

How many of the 555 Scarlatti sonatas have you heard?*

* please note, your answer may be negative.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Fun Game: Insult previous poster
> The most slightly bad composition in classical music
> Rank instruments by masculinity/feminity
> Which composer would make the most convincing transvestite?


Hey, you're pinching all my best ideas.

OK, I have one.

Discuss why all the objectively best of everything is Russian. And not gay.


----------



## Dim7

Hey, I'm a great composer and one of the harshest critics of my music payed me to write my 9th symphony. I'm confused, is he up to something?


----------



## Haydn man

Been thinking about all this 'atonal' music as it has been getting me all of a worry
It's called atonal so that means you are not allowed to touch the tone controls on your amp, only the volume control.
Am I still confused?


----------



## SimonNZ

Atonal just means its not a Tone Poem. Concertgoers of the nineteenth century found the tone poem genre to be frustratingly academic and demanded more traditional and comforting "atonal" music from concert programmers.


----------



## aleazk

Atonal=no tones, i.e., Cage's 4'33''!


----------



## millionrainbows

Most Unforgettable Performances of 4'33," and their subsequent subtitles:

July 23, 1957: Niagra Falls, "White Noise"

May 18, 1980, at 8:32 a.m: Mount Saint Helens performance, "Explosive"

September 11, 2001: New York City: "What the Hell was that?"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Skilmarilion said:


> Favourite symphonies in no movements that move you to tears.
> 
> Objectively great Renaissance tone poems.
> 
> Your top 23 most greatest fugues in B-sharp minor.
> 
> Your top 26.254 passacaglias that bore you to tears.
> 
> How many of the 555 Scarlatti sonatas have you heard?*
> 
> * please note, your answer may be negative.


Your favourite Renaissance piano works.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Your favourite Renaissance piano works.


Top 10 works you have never heard


----------



## Dim7

aleazk said:


> Atonal=no tones, i.e., Cage's 4'33''!


Even our posts are atonal then.. That means we're all bunch of blasphemous modernists


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Top 10 works you have never heard


Top 10 silent pieces


----------



## Donata

The most embarrassing instrument related injuries.

Did Copeland secretly want to be a cowboy? 

Who's Irae? And why do they want him to die?


----------



## ahammel

MoonlightSonata said:


> Top 10 silent pieces


There are at least three aside from Cage's


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Donata said:


> Who's Irae? And why do they want him to die?


Irae Gershwin wrote many of the lyrics for his brother's songs. Many felt they were not good enough for the music so they wrote a cheerful little tune asking him to die.


----------



## millionrainbows

Whataburger Supports the Avant-garde with its "Atonal Burger":

Structurally unstable, it falls to chaos when you try to eat it
It has shallots instead of onions, for a more "biting" and dissonant flavor
Where's the beef? The meat is "not centered" around a specific point on the bun
The flavors do not "harmonize"
Each bite is totally different; their is no repetition
When inverted, the burger appears to be the same
When you "eat the original form," you will later perform the "retrograde inversion" as you puke it up


----------



## Dim7

Historian arrested for implying that there was no systematic extermination of classical music by avant-garde composers and that it rather died of natural causes


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Have you returned to TC after several months or years of inactivity? Do you still have an inactive account under a different username?

Are you using multiple accounts, e.g. in order to troll?

Confess your TC sins here! 

The poster of the most egregious breach of TC rules could win a permanent ban without any notice!


----------



## Haydn man

MoonlightSonata said:


> Top 10 silent pieces


Top 10 things that have not yet been written


----------



## Dim7

Currently posting: post the post that you are currently posting to this thread

Poll: Do you answer to polls?


----------



## Ingélou

How big a debt of gratitude do we owe Elgar for decrypting the Enigma machine?

Why did Beethoven write a concerto about the Emperor penguin? 

Isn't it rude to suggest that Tchaikovsky wrote a pathetic symphony?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Your Top 50 Tuba Concerti


----------



## arpeggio

MoonlightSonata said:


> Your Top 50 Tuba Concerti


Tuba players would not consider this a stupid thread. 

And I dare anyone to submit a stupid thread about the contrabassoon. :scold:


----------



## Polyphemus

arpeggio said:


> Tuba players would not consider this a stupid thread.
> 
> And I dare anyone to submit a stupid thread about the contrabassoon. :scold:


Excuse me I am currently composing a Concerto for Tuba & Contrabassoon and if I can come up wit a part for the kitchen sink i will compose that too.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

arpeggio said:


> Tuba players would not consider this a stupid thread.
> 
> And I dare anyone to submit a stupid thread about the contrabassoon. :scold:


I think you missed the point - I'm saying that there aren't many tuba concerti, not that they're no good. No offence was intended to tubists (or whatever it is they are called).


----------



## arpeggio

Polyphemus said:


> Excuse me I am currently composing a Concerto for Tuba & Contrabassoon and if I can come up wit a part for the kitchen sink i will compose that too.


Just leave out a part for garbage disposal.


----------



## TresPicos

*Self-defense in orchestras?*

I've been a member of a prestigious Swedish orchestra for eight years, and for most of that time, I've had an enemy in the brass section. We've been able to keep things under wraps until now, but at the new year's concert the other day, he repeatedly poked me in the neck with his trombone, so I finally lost my temper and turned around and swung at him with my bassoon. And now, I suddenly find myself suspended from the orchestra until further notice! While my enemy is allowed to keep playing! Well, as soon as he recovers, anyway. I explained that I acted in self-defense, but they just wouldn't listen. Shouldn't the laws of society also apply to orchestras?


----------



## Haydn man

TresPicos said:


> I've been a member of a prestigious Swedish orchestra for eight years, and for most of that time, I've had an enemy in the brass section. We've been able to keep things under wraps until now, but at the new year's concert the other day, he repeatedly poked me in the neck with his trombone, so I finally lost my temper and turned around and swung at him with my bassoon. And now, I suddenly find myself suspended from the orchestra until further notice! While my enemy is allowed to keep playing! Well, as soon as he recovers, anyway. I explained that I acted in self-defense, but they just wouldn't listen. Shouldn't the laws of society also apply to orchestras?


The only gentlemanly thing to do is challenge him to a duet


----------



## Queen of the Nerds

Classical Composers' Goldfish

What was your favorite composer's favorite food?

Top 1,000,000 uses of the whip in classical music

Did he like turkey sandwiches with potato chips on the side? Questions about composers

Wagner and asparagus

Beethoven and meatballs

The complicated relationship of lesser-known composers and pizza

Salieri in living rooms

Composers reading newspapers and playing with cats

Debussy, cucumbers, and coconut

Rossini sitting on pasta

Palestrina cleaning the kitchen sink

Top 50 ways that Rimsky-Korsakov, hot dogs, and mayonaise mix

The best sonatas involving typewriters, tap dancing, and flugelhorns

Composers smushing raspberries on their heads

Jean-Marie Leclair acting crazy

Lalo covered in baked beans

Operas ruined by celery, bagpipes, flugelhorns, potato chip bags on desert islands covered in chocolate, and frozen yogurt

AND...
*Top 100 reasons why Prokofiev, tubas, pineapple, and ketchup DO NOT GO WELL TOGETHER*


----------



## Queen of the Nerds

I will continue:

Annoying Noises in classical music caused by mashed potatoes

Mahler and petting zoos

Composers hiking in the mountains while yodeling and eating kale

Productions of "La fille ma gardee" ruined by vegetable oil

Rachmaninoff and mustard

Chopin chopping vegetables while dancing

Handel _handeling_ an escaped giraffe at the zoo

Sad Shostakovich dancing a minuet

Sad Composers eating clams on Sad Picnics

Sad Composers on Sad Beach outings

HAYDN EATING MUSTARD AND ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM IN 1777 WHILE ON A SAD PICNIC


----------



## Polyphemus

Just leave out a part for garbage disposal.

I would never include electrified instruments.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Queen of the Nerds said:


> Rossini sitting on pasta
> Composers smushing raspberries on their heads
> Jean-Marie Leclair acting crazy
> Lalo covered in baked beans
> Operas ruined by celery, bagpipes, flugelhorns, and potato chips


I thought _I_ was the one with an unusual imagination... :lol:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Queen of the Nerds said:


> Composers hiking in the mountains while yodeling and eating kale
> Sad Composers on Sad Picnics
> Sad Composers on Sad Beach outings
> HAYDN EATING MUSTARD AND ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM IN 1777 WHILE ON A SAD PICNIC


Generous Composers Go to the Moon: the new children's bestseller


----------



## Yoshi

Which topics posted on "Stupid thread ideas" are actually good ideas?


----------



## Queen of the Nerds

Sad composers on sad beach outings


----------



## Queen of the Nerds

MoonlightSonata said:


> I thought _I_ was the one with an unusual imagination... :lol:


I have a CRAZY imagination!


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Stupidest Threads on TC.

List of Lists of Lists of TC lists.


----------



## brianvds

Queen of the Nerds said:


> Classical Composers' Goldfish


Actually makes me wonder which, if any, classical composers had pets...


----------



## SimonNZ




----------



## ahammel

TurnaboutVox said:


> Have you returned to TC after several months or years of inactivity?


<.<
>.>
<.<

........


----------



## PetrB

TresPicos said:


> I've been a member of a prestigious Swedish orchestra for eight years, and for most of that time, I've had an enemy in the brass section. We've been able to keep things under wraps until now, but at the new year's concert the other day, he repeatedly poked me in the neck with his trombone, so I finally lost my temper and turned around and swung at him with my bassoon. And now, I suddenly find myself suspended from the orchestra until further notice! While my enemy is allowed to keep playing! Well, as soon as he recovers, anyway. I explained that I acted in self-defense, but they just wouldn't listen. Shouldn't the laws of society also apply to orchestras?


When you return, I would request of the conductor, without further explanation, that he either move you or the trombonist so that trombonists' slide is not able, even at its greatest extension, to reach you. I'm sure the message will be clear, and that is devoid of any whining, self-explanation, and not at all a 'direct' complaint. (There is always that other issue if the move reads as 'a lesser rank chair,' LOL, but I think and hope that will not be a problem.)

Or, you could grease the feet of that player's chair, so he has yet another type of slide experience.


----------



## PetrB

Yoshi said:


> Which topics posted on "Stupid thread ideas" are actually good ideas?


At least 25% and possibly far more... but they would get penalized or (to quote a TC colleague) "Disappear into the great Orwellian memory hole" as per the site's ToS


----------



## Marschallin Blair

PetrB said:


> At least 25% and possibly far more... but they would get penalized or (to quote a TC colleague) "Disappear into the great Orwellian hole" as per the site's ToS


Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Peter, I'm _dy-ing._

It's: "down the Orwellian 'memory' hole."


----------



## PetrB

Marschallin Blair said:


> Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
> 
> Peter, I'm _dy-ing._
> 
> It's: "down the Orwellian 'memory' hole."


Oh lordy and thanks. I'll correct it immediately, since it could be so taken as to be thought of as a breach of the ToS


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Mozart's music or Mozart's humor, which do you prefer?


----------



## Kibbles Croquettes

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Mozart's music or Mozart's humor, which do you prefer?


Well indeedio his humour!


----------



## arpeggio

What is worse? Being John Williams or John Cage?


----------



## Dim7

Top 10 least influental composers
Top 10 wrong reasons to like classical music
The most obscure composer in history


----------



## scratchgolf

or

Top 10 composers you've never heard of, but are pretty sure they're important
Top 10 composers who re-orchestrated a silent piece, and did some amazing things with it
Top 10 composers who re-orchestrated a silent piece, and ruined it
Top 10 composers who meant to write a silent piece, but accidentally included sounds
Top 10 composers who listed their symphonies in the wrong order, and everyone knows it but them


----------



## DeepR

SimonNZ said:


>


Nice, it doesn't surprise me that composers are cat persons.


----------



## DeepR

The greatest composer who never lived
The most disgustingly sour music
Have a listen to my new age symphony!


----------



## scratchgolf

In an effort to organize and modernize classical music, the powers that be commissioned a classical music silhouette logo, similar to Major League Baseball and the NBA, and attempted to bring all composers under contract with the MLC (Major League Composers). When the silhouette of Jean Sibelius was selected, trouble ensued. The respective estates of Marlon Brando, Alfred Hitchcock, Winston Churchill, and Uncle Fester all filed suit for likeness compensation and then plan was scrapped. The 2nd place entry, Philip Glass at piano with cat was then adopted as the official logo of MLC. The horror!!


----------



## Dim7

Speaking of cats and obscure composers, I just used my psychic powers to figure out who's the most obscure composer in history. The answer is a pet cat of an unknown 18th century Viennese nobleman, who accidentaly composed a gorgeus rondo in E major while walking on a piano, following all the tonal, rhythmic and harmonic rules of classicist period orthodoxically. The cat happened to be deaf so he was unaware of his own composition and no one was there to hear the piece.


----------



## TresPicos

Music that you liked at first and then came to detest and later came to like again and even later came to feel lukewarm about and now just love? For me: Sibelius' 2nd symphony. 

Best music for doing laundry? (Please disregard the Atlantic top-loading/front-loading divide)

Today's composers: I have finally completed Act II of my new opera "Goethe and Cleopatra"! This time, I have tried to construct a broad musical tapestry of 18th century classical music interspersed with rap metal arias. In comparison, the pure bluegrass Act I now feels somewhat bland, so I might have to rewrite that one. For Act III, I will use house music, and when Goethe returns from his sea voyage, with Cleopatra waiting for him in the harbor, the whole thing will turn into an all-night rave where the audience can also participate. In the meantime, please enjoy Act II and let me know what you think. 

Paper cuts from sheet music - share your stories

Top 100 groundbreaking French impressionist composers

Left-handed composers vs left-handed athletes - coping in a right-handed world

What music would you play in the rocket stereo on your way to different planets in our solar system? (You can't choose Holst.) For Mercury, I would play Ravel's Bolero. I'll have to think about the others. Oh, and Pluto counts as a planet.

Why do birds suddenly appear?

Top 3 millennia in the history of classical music? For me: 
1. 1000-1999
2. 2000-2999
3. 0-999

Why atonal music not only hurts, but also is highly unethical (from a utilitarian perspective)


----------



## scratchgolf

TresPicos said:


> Top 3 millennia in the history of classical music? For me:
> 1. 1000-1999
> 2. 2000-2999
> 3. 0-999


This seriously made me LOL. It even made me LOL out loud, if that's possible?


----------



## hpowders

What is your favorite medium fast, but not too fast movement?


----------



## Dim7

Music that bores you a little bit - but not to tears

Music that makes you hate yourself

Music that moves you, bores you, angers you, makes you happy,depressed, intellectually stimulated,confused, emotionally conflicted, is of high/low/mediocre quality, is any combination of beforementioned or something else entirely

Classical music


----------



## PetrB

Quiz:

HIGH MORAL FIBER:

1.) a catch-phrase buzzword for the political plank of the Republican Party in the next U.S. Presidential campaign.

2.) a brand name for a new scrummy-delicious naturally sweetened organic American Breakfast Cereal.

3.) a catch-phrase buzzword for the political plank of the Democratic Party in the next U.S. Presidential campaign.

4.) a catch-phrase buzzword as manifesto for the neo-punk-retro-romantic nihilist deconstructionist anti-hipster anti skinny jeans and asymmetrical haircuts alternative arts movement

5.) other

6.) all of the above as tangential inspiration for a contemporary classical avant garde electro-acoustic tone poem.


----------



## hpowders

Hey! Wassup! I've been on TC for 3 months now. Why do some posters _hates_ me even though I have 14,721 _likes_ ?


----------



## Kieran

What about a thread that starts with the final post, and works itself back to the OP? The final post could be something like this.



> ^^ Agree.


----------



## hpowders

What caused you to leave Talk Classical? Recent deserters only please. Comments held in strictest confidence.


----------



## Dim7

Heavy metal and classical: We all know the similarities - but what are the differences?

If classical music didn't make you feel superior to others, would you listen to it at all?

Music that you might like - if you were a different person

Music that you might like - in an alternative universe

Music that might be good, if didn't suck so much

Music that likes you


----------



## hpowders

I am in desperate need of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. Please, somebody, sell it!!! My private email is enclosed.


----------



## millionrainbows

Most unforgettable accordion concertos

Which Mozart works appear to be trite, but are actually profound, because stupid listeners just don't understand the nuances?

Mozart work with the most scale runs

Cosey Fanni Tutti on Cosi fan tutte


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> I am in desperate need of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. Please, somebody, sell it!!! My private email is enclosed.


We've found the bridge from the second movement: it is now spanning a small creek in an outlying suburb of Dubuque, Iowa. The town council is thinking about replacing it. If you are interested, we would be happy to place a bid for you. Just PM us by midnight tonight and remember to include your credit card information, bank account information, social security and driver's license numbers, and we'll be ready to go.

Looking forward to doing business with you,

Cordially

Karl van Beethoven


----------



## hpowders

Kieran said:


> What about a thread that starts with the final post, and works itself back to the OP? The final post could be something like this.


It definitely has possibilities. What's the difference? After the first 10 posts or so, many threads progress into twilight zone territory, practically unrecognizable from the original topic.

One of the few threads that remains on topic seems to be "Stupid Thread Ideas". That seems to be making a statement, but I ain't no philosopher, so I will leave it to others to articulate what it is.


----------



## scratchgolf

What are your 10 favorite posts, in order, from people you've blocked, or claimed to have blocked? Please be honest, as your answers may be considered as favorite candidates for people who block you.


----------



## hpowders

PetrB said:


> We've found the bridge from the second movement: it is now spanning a small creek in an outlying suburb of Dubuque, Iowa. The town council is thinking about replacing it. If you are interested, we would be happy to place a bid for you. Just PM us by midnight tonight and remember to include your credit card information, bank account information, social security and driver's license numbers, and we'll be ready to go.
> 
> Looking forward to doing business with you,
> 
> Cordially
> 
> Karl van Beethoven


Oh no! I always thought the technical explanation was the one found in Occurence At Owl Creek Bridge by Ambrose Bierce.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Your 10 favourite pieces that you hate.
What's your favourite string instrument with a name ending in "a"?
Your favourite works you claim to have listened to but haven't.
Music that irrationally annoys you.


----------



## hpowders

Da Gamba!!! Ya gotta problem wid dat??


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Da Gamba!!! Ya gotta problem wid dat??


Da Braccio 5eva!


----------



## Dim7

Top 10 works that you desperately want to hate but can't help feeling lukewarm about

Music that is boring in a good way

Olivier is not a naughty boy, he is the Messiaen!!

Did Webern really think he was the summerwind?

Passive-aggressive music


----------



## scratchgolf

Who is your favorite composer who voted for Walter Mondale?
Who is your favorite composer who voted for Gary Hart?
Who is your favorite composer who partied with Gary Hart?
Who is your favorite composer who wrote three too many symphonies?
What composer would you like to be stranded on a desert island with?
What composer would you like to be stranded on a desert island without you?


----------



## hpowders

Help! Help! I made a terrible mistake! I posted a piece on "Current Listening" and loved it so much I thought it would be a good idea to post the piece on "Blown Away" and also "Composer Guestbooks". How can I delete these things. I don't want to be in trouble!!

Can I be docked for excessive enthusiasm in loving my music? Thanks. I'm new here.
I hope this isn't a stupid thread idea. :lol::lol:


----------



## Albert7

A manual on how to crash a skateboard while listening to Beethoven... would be dumb I would think.


----------



## hpowders

If you can find ANY real skateboarder who has even heard of Beethoven!


----------



## Kieran

I think a thread where letters are typed utterly randomly would last about 25 pages: fhfdjjdfdbjf bbefjddhjffdf


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

mkbm ogthnr thon sfgihs aegkfgnnra kwjebrwker vnlckbj?


----------



## Kieran

Gsggfhfgjhg bdghdk


----------



## Chronochromie

ehjkhddshfsygsnoufyil!


----------



## hpowders

I heard about your famous TC Composer of the Month and was promised a TC calendar with centerfold when I joined.
Anyone know how I can get one?


----------



## Kieran

hpowders said:


> I heard about your famous TC Composer of the Month and was promised a TC calendar with centerfold when I joined.
> Anyone know how I can get one?


Fhhdgjgdd nbfg hddgjjjggf


----------



## dgee

hpowders said:


> I heard about your famous TC Composer of the Month and was promised a TC calendar with centerfold when I joined.
> Anyone know how I can get one?


Not at the printers quite yet but some preview images here:

http://composerswithoutpants.tumblr.com/page/2


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Kieran said:


> I think a thread where letters are typed utterly randomly would last about 25 pages: fhfdjjdfdbjf bbefjddhjffdf


Ghelfj ej ksjdbfk - jbsdhfbjs nnksbg'et akfhf.


----------



## Kieran

MoonlightSonata said:


> Ghelfj ej ksjdbfk - jbsdhfbjs nnksbg'et akfhf.


The solid beauty of this idea is that we all instantly become equally expert! Xffsjudfjgdf bhfg ffddjjgdf


----------



## KenOC

dgee said:


> Not at the printers quite yet but some preview images here:
> 
> http://composerswithoutpants.tumblr.com/page/2


Also here: http://graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Da Braccio 5eva!


I seva at the credit union.


----------



## hpowders

I don't get it. I love Tchaikovsky's music but hate Shostakovich's music.
They both be Russian, ain't they? Really frustrated by this new-fangled classical stuff!


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> What is worse? Being John Williams or John Cage?


John Williams.


----------



## hpowders

Kieran said:


> The solid beauty of this idea is that we all instantly become equally expert! Xffsjudfjgdf bhfg ffddjjgdf


What a refreshing change from what passes for normal around here! Loving it!


----------



## Albert7

KenOC said:


> Also here: http://graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


Thank you thank you... now you burned images into my brain foreva!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

KenOC said:


> Also here: http://graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


That link appears on this site with alarming regularity


----------



## Chronochromie

KenOC said:


> Also here: http://graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


What the........


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> What a refreshing change from what passes for normal around here! Loving it!


Yeah--I would have participated in one of the aleatoric music discussion threads if I'd known that that was what was expected.


----------



## KenOC

Djworroprt wpoirrov, naked composers dfgqe. $%^%&*#$%$!!!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Your favourite works you claim to have listened to but haven't.


Aha ha. Ha.

None of us here would _ever_ claim that...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

KenOC said:


> Djworroprt wpoirrov, naked composers dfgqe. $%^%&*#$%$!!!


Ooh, are we using punctuation now? $fejv&jab*B/Bjen'E.


----------



## Dim7

You're doing it wrong guys... You must first just intentionally spell a couple of words wrong, break some rules of grammar, then start adding some nonsense words here and here, until gradually you're speaking complete gibberish. Then you can each invent your own language.


----------



## Kieran

Dim7 said:


> You're doing it wrong guys... You must first just intentionally spell a couple of words wrong, break some rules of grammar, then start adding some nonsense words here and here, until gradually you're speaking complete gibberish. Then you can each invent your own language.


Dhfsbgcghrhf hf


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> You're doing it wrong guys... You must first just intentionally spell a couple of words wrong, break some rules of grammar, then start adding some nonsense words here and here, until gradually you're speaking complete gibberish. Then you can each invent your own language.


I am siting in a roome difrent from teh on u r in now. I am recodin teh sound of my speking voice n I am gonna play it bac into teh roome agen and agen until te resnant frequencies hgurggggle ov teh rooeme reeiforse demshelfs so mobioo tat any semmblense f mai glibrill speach wit praps teh yohul exepton ov rithm is distroid mahateng wot u wil heer huhuhudfn den r teh netral jbjgdfg reznant ihdfg frekwenses fdg ov teh hufhu roome sdbkfbk artikul8d bai jdbfj spetch i dhgb rigad kfdb dis aktiviy fdgh nt jdfkjgk so mutch fdf zs djf a dmonstra8on et7565h ov a dfghb fizzikal fvbd345fb faktt d4fgd bhut dfgfd moar dfg as dfgfd a fdg way fdgdf 2 smuth dggfo fdu NE iregularies fgd mai fdgd speatch sdfs mite dhbj av dfjbjsbfjuyue3445smfnsbjfmf vmndmmsfnv msvf df9r8ey8R&^TYInfkds.


----------



## Figleaf

hpowders said:


> I ... was promised a TC calendar with centerfold when I joined.
> Anyone know how I can get one?


I hear the delivery people are running a bit late, but I can let you have a sneak peek at Mr. February:



:lol: :lol:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Figleaf said:


> I hear the delivery people are running a bit late, but I can let you have a sneak peek at Mr. February:
> 
> :lol: :lol:


 
Need 15 characters...


----------



## Figleaf

MoonlightSonata said:


> Need 15 characters...


Not a Paul Robeson fan then, I take it? 

At least on those pics you can't see his old man river. Some of the other photos on the Barihunks site are definitely not safe for work...


----------



## ahammel

Top 0 John Cage jokes.


----------



## Dim7

Music you use as a self-imposed punishment

Hatred of certain composers as an important part of your identity

Would you listen to music you dislike just because you agree with the composer politically?

If you could force your worst enemy to listen to a piece of music for eternity, what would that be?

Serial killers vs serial composers: Which of them have caused more suffering to mankind?


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> Djworroprt wpoirrov, naked composers dfgqe. $%^%&*#$%$!!!


Your best post!!! :lol:


----------



## ahammel

Dim7 said:


> Hatred of certain composers as an important part of your identity


5 stars. Would read again.


----------



## hpowders

Figleaf said:


> I hear the delivery people are running a bit late, but I can let you have a sneak peek at Mr. February:
> 
> 
> 
> :lol: :lol:


Okay. Does anybody know how I can rescind my membership?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

> *Originally posted by hpowders*
> Okay. Does anybody know how I can rescind my membership?


Mr. powders doth protest too much, methinks...:lol:


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> Mr. powders doth protest too much, methinks...:lol:


The sight of the unclothed male body repels me; no mirrors in my house.
I've learned to shave and comb my hair strictly through muscle memory.
I have many old photos in times of weakness in case I need to remind myself as to how good I used to look.


----------



## hpowders

I would like to start a thread "Composer of the Day". How can I get started with that?
I want to start with the "A's" and finally end with the "Z's" sometime in the future.


----------



## hpowders

What are some pieces that are nice, but not too happy?


----------



## hpowders

In my music class I reported that a performance by a Maestro Walker of Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony was rather pedestrian.
The class laughed. Why?


----------



## SimonNZ

How long would it take to listen to all of Haydn's 104 symphonies if I play one every day?


----------



## CBD

SimonNZ said:


> How long would it take to listen to all of Haydn's 104 symphonies if I play one every day?


Depends on whether or not you play a unique one each day.


----------



## SimonNZ

CBD said:


> Depends on whether or not you play a unique one each day.


Which are the ones that aren't unique?


----------



## CBD

I meant unique as in not played before.


----------



## Dim7

Hey, I am a stupid thread idea and need some kind of a joke or punchline to make me funny. Any suggestions?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Hey, I am a stupid thread idea and need some kind of a joke or punchline to make me funny. Any suggestions?


Read any of my 2573 posts on this thread.


----------



## hpowders

Could it be that Schubert didn't finish his Eighth Symphony because he got so bored with it, he simply fell asleep during writing it?
Please footnote any scholarly references please.


----------



## arpeggio

I like every post that has been submitted to this thread except for the ones I dislike or do not get.


----------



## Dim7

Which dead composer you would like to be today? Note: you won't be resurrected.

Organized feelings and mysteries that don't deserve even a part of a thread to themselves

Breaking the fourth wall in program music

Top 10 vocal performances of Paganini caprices

Top 10 most minor mistakes in performances of classical music

Wagn*er*, Bruckn*er*, Mahl*er* - Nevermind...


----------



## PetrB

Ideologies and the related History and Sociopolitics of the arts one must know of and completely understand before you can begin to listen to or enjoy any kind of music.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> Could it be that Schubert didn't finish his Eighth Symphony because he got so bored with it, he simply fell asleep during writing it?
> Please footnote any scholarly references please.


He finished it. Unable to pay his housekeeper, who then could not afford the paper used as curlers for her coif, as partial compensation for the debt she took those last two movements and cut them into 2" wide strips cut again into 4" lengths to use as curlers for her hair. (She did not mind the bit of India Ink which bled but a little, since it tinted and toned down some of the grey.)

When Schumann was rummaging through Schubert's things after Schubert had died, he found a few of those cut strips lying about the floor. He realized any re-construction would be like re-constructing what had been left of a lot of Sappho's poetry, which were on papyrus which was later re-used to make the papier-mâché coffins of Egyptian mummified pets i.e. the writing was left to right, the paper had been cut in vertical strips.

Schumann couldn't make much out of any of it, but when he did look at one scrap and could make out what was on it, said out loud to no one in general, _"Nice Trombone!"_


----------



## scratchgolf

PetrB said:


> Schumann couldn't make much out of any of it, but when he did look at one scrap and could make out what was on it, said out loud to no one in general, _"Nice Trombone!"_


And immediately following that exclamation, the men in white coats arrived and dragged him from his home.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Read any of my 2573 posts on this thread.


Poll: Is talking with a stupid thread idea a sign of stupidity or insanity? Debate, discuss.


----------



## TresPicos

ahammel said:


> Top 0 John Cage jokes.


Where's the "Laud" button when you need one?


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Could it be that Schubert didn't finish his Eighth Symphony because he got so bored with it, he simply fell asleep during writing it?
> Please footnote any scholarly references please.


To be honest, I don't understand why people bother listening to his Eighth symphony or, for that matter, his Seventh. Clearly, if he had thought they were any good, he would have finished them. I mean, he finished his Ninth, which he even called "Great" in obvious contrast to the previous two, mediocre ones.

It's not very respectful by posterity to bring out into the open that which Schubert himself was ashamed of. If you find something in a drawer, just leave it! It's in there for a reason!


----------



## millionrainbows

Which do you like better, the pre-gay or gay Bernstein?

Is John Cage's early pre-gay work as good as his later works?


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> To be honest, I don't understand why people bother listening to his Eighth symphony or, for that matter, his Seventh. Clearly, if he had thought they were any good, he would have finished them. I mean, he finished his Ninth, which he even called "Great" in obvious contrast to the previous two, mediocre ones.
> 
> It's not very respectful by posterity to bring out into the open that which Schubert himself was ashamed of. If you find something in a drawer, just leave it! It's in there for a reason!


See!! Now here's a perfect example where a "like" for TresPico's post is simply not good enough and is in no way representative of how pleasing I found this particular post. I wanted to "love" it, but was frustrated in not being able to do so.

Time to kick the damn garbage can!!

Update: Okay. I feel better now. :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Which do you like better, the pre-gay or gay Bernstein?
> 
> Is John Cage's early pre-gay work as good as his later works?


But as they say in Candide, one can both "Glitter and Be Gay."


----------



## Albert7

The "I have nothing stupid to say" thread could be stupid .


----------



## Dim7

Currently smelling - describe all the odours you are experiencing right now

Have listened - list all the music you have heard in your lifetime

Has a piece of classical music ever hurt your feelings?

Composers whose names sound like their music


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"Composer of the Minute"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Have listened - list all the music you have heard in your lifetime


Will listen - list all the music you will ever listen to.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Composer of the Minute"


How about composer of the 4 minutes and 33 seconds? Who might that be??


----------



## MoonlightSonata

If hpowders claims to be vice-president of the 10,000 post club, can I be president of the Exactly 1249 club? Until I write more, that


----------



## Dim7

albertfallickwang said:


> The "I have nothing stupid to say" thread could be stupid .


It's quite ironic isn't it: Not having anything stupid to say is not stupid at all, quite the contrary, but saying that one doesn't have anything stupid to say is quite stupid indeed!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> It's quite ironic isn't it: Not having anything stupid to say is not stupid at all, quite the contrary, but saying that one doesn't have anything stupid to say is quite stupid indeed!


And I'm sure that saying otherwise would also be stupid.


----------



## ahammel

Dim7 said:


> How about composer of the 4 minutes and 33 seconds? Who might that be??











.....................................


----------



## PetrB

ahammel said:


> Top 0 John Cage jokes.


Ahhh. I knew there was more than one reason you were missed around here!


----------



## Dim7

ahammel said:


> View attachment 60599
> 
> 
> .....................................


I know it's not funny. I just knew someone would inevitably make that joke as an answer to MoonlightSonata's "Composer of the Minute", so I nobly sacrificed myself and took the shame for making it.


----------



## ahammel

Dim7 said:


> I know it's not funny. I just knew someone would inevitably make that joke as an answer to MoonlightSonata's "Composer of the Minute", so I nobly sacrificed myself and took the shame for making it.


Very noble, but you still have to go in the box.


----------



## Dim7

ahammel said:


> Very noble, but you still have to go in the box.


I wonder how long I have to be in the box, in minutes and seconds that is, and whether I have to be quiet during that time.


----------



## millionrainbows

Another John Cage 4'33" thread...now *that* would be stupid.


----------



## Dim7

Do you listen to classical music voluntarily or are you being forced by your parents/grandparents?

Top 10 most interesting quibbles over definitions on TalkClassical

Do you consider coughs a part of a performance?

Death growls in modern opera interpretations - Are they acceptable?

If Bach was a pokemon would he evolve into Offenbach?


----------



## Queen of the Nerds

Dim7 said:


> Do you listen to classical music voluntarily or are you being forced by your parents/grandparents?


Dim7, I listen to classical music voluntarily. My parents fall asleep whilst listening to classical music. And they only listen if I make them.


----------



## Queen of the Nerds

*Even More Breaking News:*
A man really liked the piece playing in his car on the radio so he stayed to listen all the way through. Unfortunately, that piece was _As Slow as Possible_...


----------



## Queen of the Nerds

Yoshi said:


> What are your favourite lost works and why?


Mendelssohn's Cello Concerto because THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, the only copy fell out of a carriage into the wind, never to be seen or heard again... (dramatic organ) Somebody should make a movie about that.


----------



## Skilmarilion

*SURVEY FOR BENEFIT OF TALKCLASSICAL MAINTENANCE AND IMPROVEMENT*

Top 1032 polls in "Classical Music Discussion" that bore you to tears?

Top 14 threads in the "Identifying Music" subforum that move you to tears?

Top 1 ballet you have seen mentioned in the "Ballet" forum other than those by Tchaikovsky?

Top 1 poster in the "Opera" forum that you've actually heard of?

Top 1 time that you actually visited the "Percussion and other instruments" forum?

Top 19 posts in the "Hi Fi" subforum that best represent humanity?

Top 88 threads in "Classifieds" subforum that you've never read?

Top 62 threads in "Site Feedback" forum reporting that server is busy?


----------



## hpowders

As a devout narcissist, how come there's no provision for self-likes on TC? 
Disappointed!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> As a devout narcissist, how come there's no provision for self-likes on TC?
> Disappointed!!


And how come we can't "befriend" ourselvess either? This is an outrage!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Hi guys, I'm new here. I don't actually have anything worthwhile to contribute, but I want to boost my post count and get lots of likes, so, um... what's your opinion of the... um... trombone?


----------



## Haydn man

Is there a place for nudity in classical music?
Should I worry about this?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> And how come we can't "befriend" ourselvess either? This is an outrage!


Yes. I tried to befriend myself. I thought as a member of the 10,000 post club, I would be able to do it, but alas, NOT!!!! 

Perhaps when the new management takes over, we will all be allowed to befriend ourselves.


----------



## hpowders

Haydn man said:


> Is there a place for nudity in classical music?
> Should I worry about this?


Yes. It's practiced on Mykonos.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hi guys, I'm new here. I don't actually have anything worthwhile to contribute, but I want to boost my post count and get lots of likes, so, um... what's your opinion of the... um... trombone?


I'll just let this remark slide for now.


----------



## ahammel

Haydn man said:


> Is there a place for nudity in classical music?
> Should I worry about this?


I seem to recall hearing that Bartók played the piano in the buff sometimes.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Haydn man said:


> Is there a place for nudity in classical music?
> Should I worry about this?


Yes, there's a thread specially set aside for this, Haydn man. Here you go:

http://www.talkclassical.com/32467-classical-music-google-hangouts.html


----------



## SimonNZ

Can the mods see me? Do they wish I'd put some pants on?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> Can the mods see me? Do they wish I'd put some pants on?


In New Zealand, Simon, is the British or the US definition of 'pants' used...?


----------



## SimonNZ

Heh. Good question - out here "pants" means trousers. That's the US version, right?

Apologies to the Brits here who had to deal with the mental image of me without UK pants.


----------



## SimonNZ

Fun game: I once made a post that (no matter how short it was) I didn't have to edit to correct _some_ of the spelling and repetition. Can you find it?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

^ Yes - that one!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> Heh. Good question - out here "pants" means trousers. That's the US version, right?
> 
> Apologies to the Brits here who had to deal with the mental image of me without UK pants.


Thank goodness for that! I hate to think what the effect could have been on sensitive TC members.


----------



## Haydn man

TurnaboutVox said:


> Yes, there's a thread specially set aside for this, Haydn man. Here you go:
> 
> http://www.talkclassical.com/32467-classical-music-google-hangouts.html


Sorry I'm too shy to look


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Yes. I tried to befriend myself. I thought as a member of the 10,000 post club, I would be able to do it, but alas, NOT!!!!
> 
> Perhaps when the new management takes over, we will all be allowed to befriend ourselves.


Actually, I think the self-befriend functionality is not switched on until you reach 100,000 posts. So, when you get there, next month or so, let me know if it's true, because I'm curious. If there _is _such a goal to work towards, I would need to change my posting habits to include other threads as well.


----------



## Dim7

Program music about music theory

Program music about Microsoft Excel

Listen to my epic tone poem about accounting

Will the Avant-Garde Fascists jail me if I write in the Romantic style today?

Poll: Greatest classical music listener of the 21th century


----------



## Skilmarilion

New TC List: Top 600+ works for banjo and xylophone.

*-- note: please DO NOT participate in this if you are not familiar with the entire repertoire.*

Top 16 moments from the finale of Shostakovich's 3rd that move you to tears?

Recommend me relaxing art musics like Cage _As Slow As Possible_.

Top 5 hammer blows in Mahler's 6th that aren't ridiculous?

I'm struggling with learning my arpeggios for a piano exam. Does anyone have Phillip Glass' number?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Skilmarilion said:


> New TC List: Top 600+ works for banjo and xylophone.
> 
> *-- note: please DO NOT participate in this if you are not familiar with the entire repertoire.*


Uh...should everyone post their personal list of the 600 top works for banjo and xylophone, then?


----------



## Skilmarilion

TurnaboutVox said:


> Uh...should everyone post their personal list of the 600 top works for banjo and xylophone, then?


I'm not sure about everyone, but if we're lucky, some guy might have a go ...


----------



## Dim7

Let's play a fun game: Somebody asks a question, and then somebody replies in a random thread without quotations. The asker then has to find the reply and post it to this thread.

If you knew Hitler disliked a piece of music, would it increase your appreciation of it?

To the Nazis of this forum: Does the fact that Stephen Fry (a jew) likes Wagner's music decrease your enjoyment of Wagner's music?


----------



## hpowders

Of course not. After about 3 minutes of Wagner, I'm usually asleep anyway.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Of course not. After about 3 minutes of Wagner, I'm usually asleep anyway.


Didn't know you were a nazi  Didn't nazi that coming


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Didn't know you were a nazi


Neither did I, but I've been called worse!

There are none so blind as those that do nazi.


----------



## millionrainbows

Mahler's Hammer-blows and the Roots of Electro-Acoustic Music


----------



## Dim7

To the avant-gardists: Are you as experimental in the bedroom as you are in music? Please explain in detail!


----------



## SimonNZ

Dim7 said:


> To the avant-gardists: Are you as experimental in the bedroom as you are in music? Please explain in detail!


[obligatory "4'33" joke goes here]


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 53 moments in the first movement of Haydn's 83rd symphony that bore you, but not to tears
Top 700 Mozart works
Music that bores you until your eyes are just beginning to get moist
Your favourite century of ASLSP


----------



## Dim7

I think it will take at least 640 years until John Cage jokes will feel fresh again...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> I think it will take at least 640 years until John Cage jokes will feel fresh again...


Poll: What's your least favourite type of musical joke?
-4'33''
-Other John Cage
-Viola
-Trombone
-Percussion
-Conductor


----------



## Dim7

Top -0,5 most incredibly lame self-deprecating top-something-stupid-thread-ideas that parody several actual TC topics that bore you to fears that involve absurd use of negative fractions that you are Currently Reading


----------



## millionrainbows

*I'm not bragging, but:*

When I'm with a woman, I put on complete Wagner operas, not Bolero

I can hear every tone row in the Boulez piano sonatas

I have such perfect pitch that I can't listen to HIP recordings, because of the older A=435 tuning

I just got through transcribing Henry Cowell's tone-cluster pieces, by ear


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Currently Breathing: Enumerate and make up a nice name for every atom you are currently breathing in or out.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

millionrainbows said:


> I just got through transcribing Henry Cowell's tone-cluster pieces, by ear


Oh, is that all? I only had to look at the score of 4'33'' for five seconds before I could play it forwards and backwards and then proceed to improvise some variations on it. All blindfolded.


----------



## Dim7

(Semi-serious) Is there an alternate way for saying "I like Romantic music"? I don't want people to think that I like icky love ballads..

Are late romantic composers called late romantic because they lost their virginity so late?


----------



## CBD

Poll: Composer you think has the highest piece recognition / name recognition ratio (for the general populous):
- Grieg
- Verdi
- Orff
- etc...

In all seriousness, it's probably Grieg.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Yo Mama is so fat that...*

...when her beeper went off during a concert, people thought she was backing up

...she turned her performance of 4'33" into a "happening" in which a grand piano was destroyed

...when she hangs around the concert hall, she hangs AROUND the concert hall

...she interrupted a Wagner opera while they looked for the missing soprano in one of the folds of her stomach

...when she sat down at a Beethoven symphony, it lowered the pitch

...when she goes to a concert, she sits by everybody

...when she goes to the opera, they give her a group discount

...when she walked by the front of the stage at a concert, I missed the entire second half


----------



## MoonlightSonata

CBD said:


> Poll: Composer you think has the highest piece recognition / name recognition ratio (for the general populous):
> - Grieg
> - Verdi
> - Orff
> - etc...
> 
> In all seriousness, it's probably Grieg.


... Cage?
_____________


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Your favourite century of ASLSP


The centuries where I'll be dead are are a bit too similar and repetitive for my taste. Not a fan of minimalism.


----------



## SimonNZ

The TC Youtube Playlist Where All TC Members Have A Public Attempt At The Queen Of The Night's Aria


----------



## arpeggio

I don't care what people will be listening to a hundred years from now.


----------



## Morimur

arpeggio said:


> I don't care what people will be listening to a hundred years from now.


Just as well, we'll have nuked each other into dust by then.


----------



## SimonNZ

Should string quartets with female members be allowed to perform Ives' String Quartet No.2 "Manly Men"

Could you tell from a blindfold test if it wasn't manly enough?

Are the kind of men who become quartet players really manly enough for the "Manly Men" quartet?


----------



## Dim7

I noticed that in the currently active users list I'm always the first. This must be because I'm the most important member of this forum, right?


----------



## SimonNZ

Dim7 said:


> I noticed that in the currently active users list I'm always the first. This must be because I'm the most import member of this forum, right?


The mods have identified you as a problem student and have moved you to the front of the class where they can keep an eye on you.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Wait, what? _I'm_ the first.


----------



## SimonNZ

Which classical work would best suit having cover artwork featuring Tom Of Finland?


----------



## Dim7

SimonNZ said:


> Which classical work would best suit having cover artwork featuring Tom Of Finland?


Anything with two "heroic" i.e. "masculine" themes interacting passionately with each other.


----------



## Queen of the Nerds

MoonlightSonata said:


> Wait, what? _I'm_ the first.


No. _I'm_ first. I feel special.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> I noticed that in the currently active users list I'm always the first. This must be because I'm the most important member of this forum, right?


No, the brightest...


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> The TC Youtube Playlist Where All TC Members Have A Public Attempt At The Queen Of The Night's Aria


Please advise me what day(s) that will be running, because without checking my calender I'm near certain I have prior engagements on that date / those dates which I can not possibly break or postpone.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Oh, is that all? I only had to look at the score of 4'33'' for five seconds before I could play it forwards and backwards and then proceed to improvise some variations on it. All blindfolded.


Of course, those were canons, ricercare, etc. or you're talking freshman harmony 101 stuff.


----------



## PetrB

Dim7 said:


> To the avant-gardists: Are you as experimental in the bedroom as you are in music? Please explain in detail!





SimonNZ said:


> [obligatory "4'33" joke goes here]


Is 4'33'' an Opus __ no.2, the Opus __ no.1 lost... the two together having a program:

Opus __ no.1: "Don't Ask." 
Opus __ no.2: (4'33'') "Don't Tell" ?


----------



## Skilmarilion

Top 2 moments in Wagner's _Ring_ during which you were actually awake.

Top 117 moments in Wagner's _Ring_ where you'd rather listen to 4'33".

Top 19 hours of your life you'd want back after sitting through Wagner's _Ring_.

Top 264 moments in Wagner's _Ring_ that cured your insomnia.


----------



## ahammel

Beethoven's fugue Op. 133: _Große_ or Gross?


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> To the avant-gardists: Are you as experimental in the bedroom as you are in music? Please explain in detail!


Well, let me put it this way...that's 4 HOURS and 33 minutes...

We performed Steve Reich's "Clapping Music" using our loins...

We gave new meaning to "The Ring," if you know what I mean...

We want to commission a "graphic" score...heh heh...


----------



## millionrainbows

Self-defeating action: reading a scathing book about Wagner while actually attending the opera...


----------



## SimonNZ

Shouldn't a "Gross" fugue have 144 distinct voices interweaving?


----------



## SimonNZ

millionrainbows said:


> We performed Steve Reich's "Clapping Music" using our loins...


My co-workers want to know what made me burst out laughing just then. I'm not sure they'd get it.

I'm still chuckling.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> Shouldn't a "Gross" fugue have 144 distinct voices interweaving?


Sounds like a Sorabji piano work.


----------



## PetrB

You have two large domestic dogs.
One is named Beethoven, the other, Brahms.

Beethoven has a shortish nappy coat, drools enough to make a bit of a mess, and though well-domesticated, willfully sometimes does his toilet business indoors, not so much as to mark his territory but more to assert he is _not_ thoroughly domesticated.

Brahms has a long shaggy coat, is more a bumbling sort, sweet-natured but with an oddly gruff bark, and has quietly gone about the house and meticulously left his teeth marks on the legs of all the furniture.

The traits of each of these dogs can be determined to be found directly in their music, and by some manners of theoretical analysis as well.

Discuss.


----------



## Dim7

millionrainbows said:


> Well, let me put it this way...that's 4 HOURS and 33 minutes...
> 
> We performed Steve Reich's "Clapping Music" using our loins...
> 
> We gave new meaning to "The Ring," if you know what I mean...
> 
> We want to commission a "graphic" score...heh heh...


Impressive but mostly pretty conservative TBH. I was expecting you to transcend the very definition of the act or something.


----------



## SimonNZ

Why won't the other members of The Sixteen let me wear my Star Trek uniform in concert?


----------



## Dim7

Isn't modern "classical music" classical only in the same sense that Satan worship is Christian?


----------



## hpowders

Which is better in getting kids to love classical music-withholding food or electroshock therapy?
Beating them black and blue doesn't seem to help.

I'll be back. I can't find my kid.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Your Top 29 millionrainbows Stupid Thread Ideas you read whilst being bored to tears by 4'33".

Top 7 girlfriends that dumped you after you made them sit through 4'33".

Your Top 56 attempts at getting a refund after sitting through 4'33".

Top 11 times you were quite relieved upon realising that, rather than having to sit through Wagner's Ring, 4'33" would be sufficient for your insomnia to be cured.


----------



## SimonNZ

If the second half of the second quarter of the eighteenth century had never happened, could the first half of the third quarter of the eighteenth century have happened?


----------



## SimonNZ

"The MODERN thread CLASSICAL where IS I ALL just NOISE want AND to RUBBISH say AND that THE I PEOPLE prefer WHO older LISTEN classical, TO and IT there's ARE no NOTHING hidden MORE agenda THAN at DELUDED all FOOLS"


----------



## Dim7

What music you used to not listen to but now do listen to?

Music you sometimes do not listen to

Mahler is the most important symphonist of the 20th century. Agree or f*** off!!


----------



## hpowders

Do you deeply hate any composers? If not, why not?
Musical examples in score if possible.


----------



## Dim7

Top 5/0 impossible to perform pieces

Top 1=2 absurdist operas

Top x unknown composers

Top 0.9 unfini


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: Should we ban all music from after 1920?
*Yes
*No
*Unsure
*Don't know enough to vote


----------



## hpowders

Which composers do you hate, without prejudice?
Please illustrate your answers with appropriate musical examples from reduced scores to support your arguments.


----------



## SimonNZ

I like the idea of Morton Feldman being Composer Of The Year, but I'm also following Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret" and I need to know: will this make me "think fat thoughts"?


----------



## Dim7

Top 0 times when you were convinced by an argument in Talk Classical that music you enjoy actually sucks

Composers that you want to pretend to like while hating them deep inside but can't help genuinely liking


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Composers that you want to pretend to like while hating them deep inside but can't help genuinely liking


What if the people posting there actually just pretended to genuinely like them are actually did hate them?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 10 Beethoven symphonies


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> What if the people posting there actually just pretended to genuinely like them are actually did hate them?


Then they would be probably engaging in some really bizarre form of hipsterism.



MoonlightSonata said:


> Top 10 Beethoven symphonies


My 9 favourite Beethoven symphonies in no particular order


----------



## arpeggio

*10,000 posts and all good ones.*



hpowders said:


> I most likely will not be as visible as I used to be, since I recently found out there is no monetary bonus for achieving 10,000 posts.


I love you man but after 10,000 post maybe you should consider getting a life. :tiphat:

Orchestra rehearsal is for strings only tonight so instead I am home reading this stuff.


----------



## brianvds

Your favourite fugues from Beethoven's Bad-tempered Clavier.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

brianvds said:


> Your favourite fugues from Beethoven's Bad-tempered Clavier.


Personally, I prefer _The Art of the Feud._


----------



## Skilmarilion

Dear people. 

I have composed some pieces, inspired by certain composers, and would very much care for your feedback.

Inspired by Messiaen: Quartet for the Beginning of Time

Inspired by Wagner: The Belly Button Ring

Inspired by Glass: Galileo in a Nightclub

Inspired by Reich: Same Buses

Inspired by Ives: The Answered Question


----------



## Guest

Here's one : http://www.theguardian.com/music/sh...ry-brief-guide-worlds-first-mindfulness-opera


----------



## hpowders

Is Hitler's greatest infamy not allowing Wagner's music to be recorded in stereo during the war years?


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Is Hitler's greatest infamy not allowing Wagner's music to be recorded in stereo during the war years?


No, it's his amateurish paintings.


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Should we ban all music from after 1920?
> *Yes
> *No
> *Unsure
> *Don't know enough to vote


Fine with me. My favorite music is from 1918.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Personally, I prefer _The Art of the Feud._


There's always _The Art of the Freud,_ where you discuss inner meanings to death and dismiss with even thinking of talking about any of the actual music.


----------



## PetrB

I've composed a neoclassical piano piece in the style of Beethoven, but with a bit of a Country & Western feel to it.

Having seen on TC just how much of listener's perception of the music is influenced by the title, I decided to give the piece a title other than just something dry... say, like _Variations in the style of Loretta van Beethoven._

The working title is _*Moonshine Sonata*_, and I thought it was good to also have this sub-header:
*"S/He's dull-minded arrested development gob-smack hung up on Beethoven, Yee-haw!"*

Considering the huge resistance to most any new classical music, and with legions of today's average listeners actually arch retro-conservative to a degree where they can hope Alma Deutscher will grow up and continue to write as she does now, and seeing how much some title or story seems to help listeners get into a piece, do you think the addition of the title and its sub-header will help audiences gain any readier access to this 21st century neo-classical / romantic piano piece?


----------



## TresPicos

*Poll: How to punish Sweden?*

This year, Sweden will switch to new bills. The 500-crown bill features famous opera singer Birgit Nilsson. However, the picture of her is from her role as Brünnhilde in Wagner's operas. And Wagner was an antisemite. How should Sweden be punished for this?

- UN sanctions
- Boycott Swedish composers and musicians
- Carpet bombing
- Other (please specify)


----------



## Dim7

*Metal and Classical - how to distinguish them?*

Hey fellow classical fans. I've got a little problem and I hope someone here might be able to help me.

We all can hear the obvious similarities between metal and classical. This is normal. However, my case is a little bit more extreme. I've focused on the similarities so much that *I've completely lost my ability to tell the two genres apart.*

Last night we were sacrificing a random victim to the Prince of Darkness himself with my black metal bandmates and I was asked to play fitting music for the occasion. To me Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik seemed like the perfect choice of deathened black metal to play that time - it's about night afterall and what can be more metal? However according to my buddies it completely ruined the mood for ritual murder and the sacrifice couldn't be performed. They were further embarrassed when some old lady came to praise the supposedly "beautiful and relaxing" piece I had just performed. Neither the old lady nor my bandmates seemed to appreciate the subtle brutality of Mozart.

Earlier this week my grandmother, knowing that I know a lot about classical, asked me to play some nice classical song with beautiful lyrics. First song that came to my mind was Cannibal Corpse's Hammer Smashed Face - I know from personal experience how beautiful our bland human faces can become when smashed with a hammer. To my surprise my grandmother was utterly shocked and told me to never play that kind of "monster music" again. I didn't understand what she meant by that.

Now these two occasions were just akward but this is actually a very serious problem. Some of the more extreme and avant-garde death metal pieces involve killing a part of the audience, some of the performers or even suicide as a inseparable part of the performance. Imagine the disappointment if on a death metal concert I failed to do that and instead just played some Vivaldi or something!

So what are the key differences between metal and classical, in terms of instrumentation/structure/harmony etc.?


----------



## millionrainbows

Would World War II's outcome have been different had Hitler developed the CD? How would Furtwangler have played-in to all this?


----------



## millionrainbows

*I've Completely Lost My Ability to Distinguish Between Heavy Metal and Gregorian Chant, Especially Since Both are Non-Harmonic, Use Parallel Fifths, are Dark and Depressing, and Evoke Medieval Imagery*


----------



## ahammel

TresPicos said:


> This year, Sweden will switch to new bills. The 500-crown bill features famous opera singer Birgit Nilsson. However, the picture of her is from her role as Brünnhilde in Wagner's operas.


In all seriousness: well done the Bank of Sweden!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TalkingHead said:


> Here's one : http://www.theguardian.com/music/sh...ry-brief-guide-worlds-first-mindfulness-opera


Did they really just say that?
*Rotund people in horned helmets prancing about and singing foreign?*
_Don't be a philistine; that stereotype only describes the vast majority of operas._


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Did they really just say that?
> *Rotund people in horned helmets prancing about and singing foreign?*
> _Don't be a philistine; that stereotype only describes the vast majority of operas._


zOMG, they overlooked _The Horse,_ and _The Dragon._

But then, watch as those with the same nationality wax drippy gushing sentimental geysers of heartfelt praise for a choral symphony by a home boy which has a large number of orchestral players and a huge chorus declaiming about "the sea, the sea."

Through a similar lens, it is _all_ patently absurd over-the-top stuff


----------



## TurnaboutVox

PetrB said:


> zOMG, they overlooked _The Horse,_ and _The Dragon._
> 
> But then, watch as those with the same nationality wax drippy gushing sentimental geysers of heartfelt praise for a choral symphony by a home boy which has a large number of orchestral players and a huge chorus declaiming about "the sea, the sea."
> 
> Through a similar lens, it is _all_ patently absurd over-the-top stuff


'Pass Notes' is a facetious and heavily satirical column in 'The Grauniad'. Just in case, um, you take it seriously, you know, and think it represents serious music criticism in the UK...just sayin', ya know...


----------



## Albert7

Turns out that I am so dumb that I ran out of dumb ideas.


----------



## SimonNZ

Skilmarilion said:


> Inspired by Wagner: The Belly Button Ring


Der Ring Des Bauchnabelungen


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> Der Ring Des Bauchnabelungen (The Belly Button Ring


Der Ring des Badewanne (The Bathtub Ring)


----------



## Woodduck

TresPicos said:


> This year, Sweden will switch to new bills. The 500-crown bill features famous opera singer Birgit Nilsson. However, the picture of her is from her role as Brünnhilde in Wagner's operas. And Wagner was an antisemite. How should Sweden be punished for this?
> 
> - UN sanctions
> - Boycott Swedish composers and musicians
> - Carpet bombing
> - Other (please specify)


No punishment can expiate a crime this heinous. The best we could do would be to have the United Nations force all Swedish government officials to become members of TC, where they would have to track down every thread on which Wagner, Hitler, and anti-semitism are mentioned together. They would have to work at this for as long as it took to prove that the Flying Dutchman, Telramund, Beckmesser, Klingsor, Tristan, Alberich, Mime, Fafner, Grane and the forest bird were all circumcised, attended yeshiva, were bar mitzvahed, and learned to sing at cantorial school. We would expect that this task would keep these people busy indefinitely, and that the government of Sweden would get the message and replace Birgit Nilsson's image with a group portrait of ABBA.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

PetrB said:


> Der Ring des Badewanne (The Bathtub Ring)


Der Ring des Telefon (The Ring of the Telephone)


----------



## SimonNZ

TresPicos said:


> - Carpet bombing


Carpet bombing? We're goint to punish them by ridding their houses of silverfish and beetles?

Or is this a "winning hearts and minds" thing?


----------



## SimonNZ

Der Ring der Ohren nach dem Rammstein-Konzert


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> Carpet bombing? We're goint to punish them by ridding their houses of silverfish and beetles?
> 
> Or is this a "winning hearts and minds" thing?


Maybe it means there will be a flurry of oriental carpets falling from the skies. (I need a very nice 7' x 5' Kilim, please.)


----------



## Dim7

TC tip: Say something awesome, get lots of likes, then edit your post into something awful and make the likers look bad

Blancrocher's mama is such a mother that she's the female parent of Blancrocher!


----------



## PetrB

Dim7 said:


> TC tip: Say something awesome, get lots of likes, then edit your post into something awful and make the likers look bad


Tip 2: If your text has been quoted in another post, the quotes remain unchanged. No amount of revision will affect those.

A-ha! Foiled again!


----------



## Dim7

PetrB said:


> Tip 2: If your text has been quoted in another post, the quotes remain unchanged. No amount of revision will affect those.
> 
> A-ha! Foiled again!


You can always bribe the quoter to edit the quote accordingly. What amount of money could possibly be worth more than the joy of embarrassing other TC members (and probably yourself)?


----------



## PetrB

Dim7 said:


> You can always bribe the quoter to edit the quote accordingly. What amount of money could possibly be worth more than the joy of embarrassing other TC members (and probably yourself)?


There's no joy in it unless you can witness their embarrassment, get a video via your phone, then tweet it, uploading it to every internet medium possible. We're talking _global public humiliation here._


----------



## Figleaf

Dim7 said:


> TC tip: Say something awesome, get lots of likes, then edit your post into something awful and make the likers look bad


Was going to 'like' that, but thought better of it under the circumstances!


----------



## hpowders

Composer of the decade: We will listen exclusively for 10 years to works of the following named composer: Clara Schumann.

Watch this thread on January 22, 2025 for the next composer in this series.


----------



## Skilmarilion

In Richard Strauss' _Symphonia Domestica_, what is your favourite moment that he depicts in the music?

- When the husband washes the dishes
- When the wife scrubs the floor
- When the baby rolls around on the carpet
- When some guy goes to the bathroom
- When the aunt and uncle come to visit for no reason
- When the older kid opens his cupboard and then closes it soon after
- When the cousins come to visit and they make sandwiches

or ...

- some other bull**** domestic scenario (please specify)


----------



## KenOC

I like the fugue in "Plunging the Toilet" starting at 22:13.


----------



## Woodduck

Skilmarilion said:


> In Richard Strauss' _Symphonia Domestica_, what is your favourite moment that he depicts in the music?
> 
> - When the husband washes the dishes
> - When the wife scrubs the floor
> - When the baby rolls around on the carpet
> - When some guy goes to the bathroom
> - When the aunt and uncle come to visit for no reason
> - When the older kid opens his cupboard and then closes it soon after
> - When the cousins come to visit and they make sandwiches
> 
> or ...
> 
> - some other bull**** domestic scenario (please specify)


When the composer writes the last note, sends the score off to the publisher, and gets on with writing Op. 54, his opera anything-but-domestica, _Salome_.


----------



## DavidA

One of the stupidest ideas in musical history was Diabelli's idea for contemporary composers to write a variation each on his silly banal waltz theme. Only Beethoven saw the joke with the 'cobbler's patch' theme better than anyone!


----------



## Dim7

Skilmarilion said:


> In Richard Strauss' _Symphonia Domestica_, what is your favourite moment that he depicts in the music?
> 
> - When the husband washes the dishes
> - When the wife scrubs the floor
> - When the baby rolls around on the carpet
> - When some guy goes to the bathroom
> - When the aunt and uncle come to visit for no reason
> - When the older kid opens his cupboard and then closes it soon after
> - When the cousins come to visit and they make sandwiches
> 
> or ...
> 
> - some other bull**** domestic scenario (please specify)


My favourite is the part where the composer contemplates what could be even less thrilling program for a symphony.


----------



## SimonNZ

Skilmarilion said:


> - When some guy goes to the bathroom


some guy said he was scandalized when he heard that Strauss included that in the score


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Composer of the decade: We will listen exclusively for 10 years to works of the following named composer: Clara Schumann.
> 
> Watch this thread on January 22, 2025 for the next composer in this series.


Can I choose the next one? :angel::devil:


----------



## TresPicos

SimonNZ said:


> Carpet bombing? We're goint to punish them by ridding their houses of silverfish and beetles?
> 
> Or is this a "winning hearts and minds" thing?


- Gunnar, get in here! The silverfish are gone!
- Oh darn, I knew our country should never have issued that 500 crown bill!"


----------



## Dim7

*Is Talk Classical too easy to use?*

Talk Classical forum works just fine. There aren't any great "flaws" in it per se. But doesn't it somehow leave you unfulfilled? Something's missing.

It's challenge.

We classical fans are a bunch of intellectual folks. We don't like it the easy way - not in music, why in forums either? We like to stretch our smarts to their limits. We understand that ultimately the most rewarding things are those that you have to work for. Why wouldn't this apply to forums as well?

I've got some specific suggestions myself but *I'd like you guys' input as well*:

-Before each post, the poster should be required to solve a puzzle of some sorts.

-Posts in a thread could be ordered randomly with no indication of the time it was posted

-More subforums with complicated, highly specific yet ambiguous descriptions. Very general subforums like "classical music discussion" should be abolished

-Posts should be automatically translated by Google Translate to Swahili and then back to English.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Talk Classical forum works just fine. There aren't any great "flaws" in it per se. But doesn't it somehow leave you unfulfilled? Something's missing.
> 
> It's challenge.
> 
> We classical fans are a bunch of intellectual folks. We don't like it the easy way - not in music, why in forums either? We like to stretch our smarts to their limits. We understand that ultimately the most rewarding things are those that you have to work for. Why wouldn't this apply to forums as well?
> 
> I've got some specific suggestions myself but *I'd like your guys input as well*:
> 
> -Before each post, the poster should be required to solve a puzzle of some sorts.
> 
> -Posts in a thread could be ordered randomly with no indication of the time it was posted
> 
> -More subforums with complicated, highly specific yet ambiguous descriptions. Very general subforums like "classical music discussion" should be abolished
> 
> -Posts should be automatically translated by Google Translate to Swahili and then back to English.


Every time a post is 'liked', the liker and liked should swap profiles.


----------



## hpowders

I own 5673 CDs and don't know what to listen to. How many polls should I devise so TC'ers can select for me what to listen to? I wish to cover all the CD's in my collection and choose among them eclectically.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me profound serialism heavy atonalities like Andre Rieu?


----------



## Dim7

Skilmarilion said:


> Recommend me profound serialism heavy atonalities like Andre Rieu?


I just heard about Andre Rieau for the first time today and happened to have his wikipedia page open while I read this... CREEPY.


----------



## hpowders

Listen to him play and you will Rieu the day!


----------



## arpeggio

hpowders said:


> Listen to him play and you will Rieu the day!


Moan. You are a sick puppy. When I grow up I want to be just like you.


----------



## CBD

Name these composers:
1. Considered the last great symphonist by some, he isn't really actually all that good.
2. His compositions are boring, but not compared to his books on composition.
3. His second Piano Concerto has an interesting section, I guess...
4. Composer most joked about, and for good reason.
5. Pure randomness, but at least it's short.
6. Undeniably the best composer who ever lived.


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> Moan. You are a sick puppy. When I grow up I want to be just like you.


In that case, start studying the manual NOW!!!

I would call that "Rieu-tine Maintenance".


----------



## Dim7

Your top 4,33 favorite silent atonal antisemites

Shouldn't there be a site called HateModern.com - a forum entirerly dedicated to bashing modern "art" "music"? (edit: apparently there is!)

Post a picture of himself

The title says it all


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> I own 5673 CDs and don't know what to listen to. How many polls should I devise so TC'ers can select for me what to listen to? I wish to cover all the CD's in my collection and choose among them eclectically.


Someone's beat you to it, of course -- because it _is_ TC.


----------



## Wandering

I'm thinking of using a pin name for my next composition simply because it rhymes.

_Ode to Humpty Dumpty written by Hungry Mungry_

What do you think?


----------



## Hmmbug

CBD said:


> Name these composers:
> 1. Considered the last great symphonist by some, he isn't really actually all that good.
> 2. His compositions are boring, but not compared to his books on composition.
> 3. His second Piano Concerto has an interesting section, I guess...
> 4. Composer most joked about, and for good reason.
> 5. Pure randomness, but at least it's short.
> 6. Undeniably the best composer who ever lived.


I'll give this a go.

1. Mahler
2. Berlioz
3. Bartok
4. Cage
5. Webern
6. Bach

How'd I do?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Hmmbug said:


> I'll give this a go.
> 
> 1. Mahler
> 2. Berlioz
> 3. Bartok
> 4. Cage
> 5. Webern
> 6. Bach
> 
> How'd I do?


Hmmm.... I think #1 is more likely to be Shostakovich.


----------



## Mahlerian

CBD said:


> Name these composers:
> 1. Considered the last great symphonist by some, he isn't really actually all that good.
> 2. His compositions are boring, but not compared to his books on composition.
> 3. His second Piano Concerto has an interesting section, I guess...
> 4. Composer most joked about, and for good reason.
> 5. Pure randomness, but at least it's short.
> 6. Undeniably the best composer who ever lived.


1. Shostakovich
2. Piston
3. Tchaikovsky
4. Havergal Brian
5. Richard Nanes
6. Schoenberg


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Hey everyone.... there's a piece which I can't identify, and I only have the score.
There are 20 lines (yes, I counted!) - five each for two violins, a violia and a violincello. There are some hashtags and then some dots on the lines and some words that I think are in code written between the sets of lines.
Any ideas?


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hey everyone.... there's a piece which I can't identify, and I only have the score.
> There are 20 lines (yes, I counted!) - five each for two violins, a violia and a violincello. There are some hashtags and then some dots on the lines and some words that I think are in code written between the sets of lines.
> Any ideas?


Oh Lord protect ya, boy. That is an encoded document that will get you in the deepest doo-doo because at least five of the World's greatest superpowers and that many more unscrupulous rapacious multinational and privately owned corporations are all _more than deeply interested in obtaining it._

Plastic surgery, a fake ID, and relocation, _pronto,_ are in order for your survival. Doesn't matter if you're willing to give it away or sell it, you're dead once it is out of your hands, because the risk you might tell anyone else of it is far too great.

P.s. Those aren't hashtags, dude, _those be Octothorpes._


----------



## MoonlightSonata

PetrB said:


> Oh Lord protect ya, boy. That is an encoded document that will get you in the deepest doo-doo because at least five of the World's greatest superpowers and that many more unscrupulous rapacious multinational and privately owned corporations are all _more than deeply interested in obtaining it._
> 
> Plastic surgery, a fake ID, and relocation, _pronto,_ are in order for your survival. Doesn't matter if you're willing to give it away or sell it, you're dead once it is out of your hands, because the risk you might tell anyone else of it is far too great.
> 
> P.s. Those aren't hashtags, dude, _those be Octothorpes._


AARGH! Curse this piece and its octopus at the start! Curse the violin-cello! Away with you, dots on lines!
Goodbye forever, TC! Tell no one of my unfortunate predicament!
(P.S. Yes, I love that word, but alas, it was out of character. I always did wonder what the 'thorpe' bit was about.)
Edit: apparently "thorpe" means "village" and the sign comes from eight villages around a square. Never thought Stupid Thread ideas would inspire me to look up a word origin...


----------



## arpeggio

*Thief*



Mahlerian said:


> 1. Shostakovich
> 2. Piston
> 3. Tchaikovsky
> 4. Havergal Brian
> 5. Richard Nanes
> 6. Schoenberg


GRRRRRRRR!!!! :scold: Curse you Mahlerian! You stole my list!


----------



## Skilmarilion

CBD said:


> Name these composers:
> 1. Considered the last great symphonist by some, he isn't really actually all that good.
> 2. His compositions are boring, but not compared to his books on composition.
> 3. His second Piano Concerto has an interesting section, I guess...
> 4. Composer most joked about, and for good reason.
> 5. Pure randomness, but at least it's short.
> 6. Undeniably the best composer who ever lived.


1. Cage
2. Cage
3. Cage
4. Cage
5. Cage
6. Mahler


----------



## CBD

CBD said:


> Name these composers:
> 1. Considered the last great symphonist by some, he isn't really actually all that good.
> 2. His compositions are boring, but not compared to his books on composition.
> 3. His second Piano Concerto has an interesting section, I guess...
> 4. Composer most joked about, and for good reason.
> 5. Pure randomness, but at least it's short.
> 6. Undeniably the best composer who ever lived.


It was interesting to see the range of answers to this. For those curious, the composers I had in mind were:
1. Shostakovitch
2. Piston
3. Saint-Saens
4. Cage
5. Webern
6. Whatever


----------



## hpowders

I've been listening to the Mahler Eighth Symphony on my own for years, but notice it has been recently recommended as the top choice on a popular thread that everyone seems to follow. Was it wrong for me to listen to this symphony on my own?
I'm new here and want to follow the rules.


----------



## Ingélou

Hi, all - I keep reading these threads about Baroque Music and how much he's written, and how some people don't listen to anything much else. I'd like to ask - what is the best starter CD? Maybe listen to some of the first symphonies that Baroque wrote? Also, did Baroque have a long life, to be able to write so much stuff?


----------



## Dim7

Should minors be allowed to listen to "erotic" instrumental music like Tristan und Isolde prelude, Scriabin's Poem of Ecstacy or anything with a saxophone?


----------



## Skilmarilion

*The TC Top 17 Trillion+ Recommended Concerti for Orchestra*.

Nomination Round 1 is now open!

You may nominate 5.86 Billion works in this round.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is Vivaldi the best techno composer of the 12th century?

1.I agree - Richard Wagner's 200 BC R&B hits are awesome!

2.No way - I love Vivaldi's 12th century techno music more than anything!

3.I agree with the third poll option.

4.Banana


----------



## Dim7

Are all posters on Talk Classical actually the same person?


----------



## ahammel

Dim7 said:


> Are all posters on Talk Classical actually the same person?


_Legio mihi nomen est, quia multi sumus._


----------



## scratchgolf

A thread congratulating people for reaching 1,106 posts


----------



## Skilmarilion

Hello, please critique the following avant-garde works that I have composed for the greater good.

Music for marbles and carpet.

Music for freshly cut grass.

Music for broomstick and janitor.

Music for grains of sand.

Partita for yo-yo and trombone.

Concerto for stress ball and orchestra.


----------



## Dim7

scratchgolf said:


> A thread congratulating people for reaching 1,106 posts


Congratulating for 1,102 posts I totally get but for 1,106? Don't be ridiculous.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Are all posters on Talk Classical actually the same person?


Aha! We _can_ like our own posts, in that case!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

scratchgolf said:


> A thread congratulating people for reaching 1,106 posts


A thread congratulating people for reaching 1437 posts?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> Are all posters on Talk Classical actually the same person?


Well, I certainly am the same person


----------



## Dim7

TurnaboutVox said:


> Well, I certainly am the same person


This applies to other TC members as well because a thing cannot be different from itself. A = A, A ≠ not A. Therefore all TC members are the same person, which means all TC members are equal to each other. Why I'm wasting my time proving this to myself?


----------



## 20centrfuge

"Nicknames for Itzhak Perlman"

Sweetchuck, Itchy, Zack-Attack, Mother-of-Pearl!, Hack, etc.


----------



## 20centrfuge

"Conductor's butts"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> This applies to other TC members as well because a thing cannot be different from itself. A = A, A ≠ not A. Therefore all TC members are the same person, which means all TC members are equal to each other. Why I'm wasting my time proving this to myself?


You are making the error of assuming that since A=A, B=A as well, when in fact B=B.
Since we seem to be into logic at the moment, here's a paradox with composers in it.
If Bach says Handel is lying, and Handel says Bach is telling the truth, then who is the liar (or neither, or both)?


----------



## scratchgolf

Dim7 said:


> Congratulating for 1,102 posts I totally get but for 1,106? Don't be ridiculous.


I'm so impressed, I'm not gonna post for a few weeks, just so I can stay on 1,106.

Wait a sec. Son of a #%&[email protected]#$^&^%$#@@


----------



## MoonlightSonata

scratchgolf said:


> I'm so impressed, I'm not gonna post for a few weeks, just so I can stay on 1,106.


Check your post count now...


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> You are making the error of assuming that since A=A, B=A as well, when in fact B=B.


Stop arguing with yourself, you fool.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Stop arguing with yourself, you fool.


If I'm a fool, does that mean you are, too? Am I talking to myself here? What?! ARGH! _*swept away in a whirlpool of logic*_


----------



## 20centrfuge

"sexiest musicologists"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The "What is the point of atonal music?" thread has been dormant since August last year. Should I bring it back?


----------



## hpowders

For the Community Forum:
What are you doing at this very moment? The real-time You Tube version.


----------



## Dim7

Classical music snob's guide: How to be a complete d*ck in a sophisticated and highbrow fashion


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> Classical music snob's guide: How to be a complete d*ck in a sophisticated and highbrow fashion


I'd love to see that thread, assuming you mean "duck." Sounds like a real challenge.


----------



## arpeggio

If I like a piece of music it is great. If I dislike it, it is bad. I am the only one here who knows what he is talking about and I am out the prove that the rest of you are wrong. :scold:


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> For the Community Forum:
> What are you doing at this very moment? The real-time You Tube version.


Don't ask that. Ask what this very moment is doing at you.


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> The "What is the point of atonal music?" thread has been dormant since August last year. Should I bring it back?


Should you? I don't know...


----------



## Vaneyes

At this very moment...apart from typing, watching Super Bowl hype on television.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> The "What is the point of atonal music?" thread has been dormant since August last year. Should I bring it back?


Unless you want to put that final touch of the additional lustrous and sparkling gloss of being a necrophiliac on your C.V. -- I wouldn't recommend it.


----------



## PetrB

arpeggio said:


> If I like a piece of music it is great. If I dislike it, it is bad. I am the only one here who knows what he is talking about and I am out to prove that the rest of you are wrong. :scold:


There, there now. We all know your taste is impeccable and that you are always right. :tiphat:


----------



## Josh

Mahler's Sixth on ukelele!


----------



## Dim7

What's the point of alingual posting, i.e. posts written entirerly in Gibberish? 

Parts in gibberish as an effect I get though.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Since the whole universe revolves around me, me, me, then why does music I don't like even exist?*


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> The "What is the point of atonal music?" thread has been dormant since August last year. Should I bring it back?


Yes, by all means, bring it back! It will soon be time for the "Spring Offensive!"


----------



## millionrainbows

TresPicos said:


> Should you? I don't know...


The above is a scene from "Man and Bear", which consists solely of the sounds produced during the poking of a bear with a long pole. If listened to with the visuals, it's an opera. The work is considered to be over if the man is attacked, or if the bear retreats.
Any type of bear can be used, but smaller adolescent bears are suggested. Baby bears are discouraged. Any type of pole can be used, but 10-foot aluminum alloy electrical conduit has proven to be most effective in eliciting sound from the bear, and is light and easy to use.


----------



## millionrainbows

Josh said:


> Mahler's Sixth on ukelele!


I think you should AT LEAST consider having the player double on baritone uke.


----------



## millionrainbows

Skilmarilion said:


> Hello, please critique the following avant-garde works that I have composed for the greater good.


Music for marbles and carpet: A charming work, playful.

Music for freshly cut grass: Ahh, this reminds me of the summers in the Hamptons! The drone of the lawnmower in the distance was especially effective, and provided a sense of harmonic stability...the humming of the mosquitoes provided an effective counterpoint to this.

Music for broomstick and janitor: Very American, and influenced by elements of folk music. Somewhat tragic, yet heroic in its acceptance of one's station. The janitor's monologue, at the end, was especially moving.

Music for grains of sand: Repetitive, kaleidoscopic streams of sand, amplified by a sensitive microphone. This is, truly, the sound of time.

Partita for yo-yo and trombone: The subtle interplay between the yo-yo and the trombone was uncanny! The sliding notes of the trombone were perfectly matched to the swooping movements of the yo-yo, once again proving that it's not what you say, it's how you say it!

Concerto for stress ball and orchestra. : What's a stress ball?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

millionrainbows said:


> Concerto for stress ball and orchestra. : What's a stress ball?


I think it's a ball that you squeeze when you're stressed.
The Concerto was very intense, very emotional and highlights the smallness of humans in today's busy world.


----------



## Dim7

*See ya!*

I'm going to leave TalkClassical for a 30 minute lunch break. I'll have my laptop nearby so I might check new posts/PM's occasionally but I can't guarantee that I will answer in less than 5 seconds and I probably won't post every minute.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Let's play a symphony here on TC! We have to simultaneously post transcriptions of us humming on part each!
Here we go, I'll do first violin:
Hmm, hmmmmmm, hmm hmhmhm, hmmmmmmm -hm hm hm hm hmmmmmmmmmmm -hm hm hmmm hmmmmm.
HMMMMM! hmhmhmhm hmmmmm.... HMMMMMMM!!! hmmmm hm hm _HMMMMMMMM!!!!!!_ hm hm *HMMMMMMMMM!* hm hm... hmhmhmmmm...
*HMMMMMMM!!!!!!!*


----------



## Skilmarilion

millionrainbows said:


> Music for broomstick and janitor: Very American, and influenced by elements of folk music. *Somewhat tragic, yet heroic in its acceptance of one's station. The janitor's monologue, at the end, was especially moving.*


Yes -- the emotional intensity of the janitor's monologue was actually so overwhelming in the creative process, that now that I look back, I do not know how I came to write it.



> Concerto for stress ball and orchestra. : What's a stress ball?


Well this is a nice example of a stress ball:






Quite obviously, this is a rather virtuosic instrument that, when played in tender passages with heavy rubato, certainly conveys a deep sense of melancholy.


----------



## PetrB

Dim7 said:


> I'm going to leave TalkClassical for a 30 minute lunch break. I'll have my laptop nearby so I might check new posts/PM's occasionally but I can't guarantee that I will answer in less than 5 seconds and I probably won't post every minute.


...missing you already ;-)


----------



## Dim7

PetrB said:


> ...missing you already ;-)


In retrospect there was really no reason for a lunch to interrupt my posting at all. I could have made my servant feed me so my hands never had to leave the keyboard. I'm sorry for the misery my absence has caused to everyone.


----------



## Skilmarilion

I propose a new system for names of works: we go back and review all works in the Western art music canon. We remove all bull**** used to name pieces like form (e.g. symphony) or number (e.g. #1) or key or opus numbers etc. 

Instead of this convaluted garbage, we can refer to all pieces simply as "Music".

i.e. Symphony #1 in G minor, opus 24, becomes simply "Music".

So for example, Mahler's entire output would be catalogued thus:

Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music

And then we repeat this for all other composers and all their works.

Many thanks.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

What a great idea! Wait a mo...


The TC Top 50+ Recommended Music List 

1. Schubert: Music
2. Beethoven: Music
3. Beethoven: Music
4. Beethoven: Music
5. Shostakovich: музыка
6. Debussy: Music
7. Bartók: Music
8. Mozart: Music
9. Dvořák: Music
10. Ravel: Music

11. Haydn: Music
12. Schubert: Music
13. Beethoven: Music
14. Haydn: Music
15. Berg: Music
16. Schubert: Music
17. Borodin: музыка
18. Sibelius: Music
19. Schoenberg: Music?
20. Mendelssohn: Music

21. Haydn: Music
22. Janáček: Music
23. Beethoven: Music
24. Bartók: Music
25. Bartok: Music
26. Ligeti: Music
27. Grieg: Music
28. Fauré: Music
29. Reich: Musi - usic - sica - icam - camu -amus
30. Webern: Mu

31. Janáček: Music
32. Haydn: Music
33. Schubert: Music
34. Crumb: Music
35. Bartók: Music
36. Shostakovich: музыка
37. Shostakovich: музыка
38. Smetana: Music
39. Shostakovich: музыка
40. Tchaikovsky: Music

41. Beethoven: Music
42. Mozart: Music
43. Bartók: Music
44. Haydn: Musical joke
45. Brahms: Music
46. Mozart: Music
47. Nielsen: Music
48. Barber: Music
49. Ives: Music!
50. Brahms: Music

51. Beethoven: Music
52. Beethoven: Music
53. Takemitsu: 音楽
54. Britten: Music
55. Dvořák: Music
56. Gubaidulina: Music
57. Mendelssohn: Music
58. Villa-Lobos: Música
59. Dutilleux: La Musique
60. Glass: Music Music Music Music Music


Now for the 'Classical Music Project'... Won't be long!


----------



## Dim7

Skilmarilion said:


> I propose a new system for names of works: we go back and review all works in the Western art music canon. We remove all bull**** used to name pieces like form (e.g. symphony) or number (e.g. #1) or key or opus numbers etc.
> 
> Instead of this convaluted garbage, we can refer to all pieces simply as "Music".


I'd go further and question the need to distinguish between different composers. Who cares who composed it? If it's good, it's good.


----------



## csoforever

Those five thread ideas by millionrainbows are so great, I don't even know which one is my favorite. My modest contribution:

"When that little old lady died at the matinee performance of Birtwistle, should the Des Moines Symphony just have immediately declared bankruptcy?"


----------



## Fagotterdammerung

"How Many Calories Will Piano Pedaling Burn?"

"Is Minimalism Compatible With Homeopathy?"

"Exactly How Much Air IS In A G String?"


----------



## SimonNZ

Skilmarilion said:


> Instead of this convaluted garbage, we can refer to all pieces simply as "Music".


reminds me of the generic near-blank "product placement" in the supermarket in Repo Man










(Emilio's got my hair/haircut, there)


----------



## PetrB

Skilmarilion said:


> I propose a new system for names of works: we go back and review all works in the Western art music canon. We remove all bull**** used to name pieces like form (e.g. symphony) or number (e.g. #1) or key or opus numbers etc.
> 
> Instead of this convoluted garbage, we can refer to all pieces simply as "Music".
> 
> i.e. Symphony #1 in G minor, opus 24, becomes simply "Music".
> 
> So for example, Mahler's entire output would be catalogued thus:
> 
> Music; Music; Music; Music; Music; Music; Music; Music
> And then we repeat this for all other composers and all their works.
> 
> Many thanks.


That opens up the particular can of worms where people love to say certain composers and pieces 'aren't music.' LOL.

Best to learn the names, opus numbers, etc. Besides it makes you seem grown-up, and in some retro near-to-neanderthal circles, it actually impresses re: social standing.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Skilmarilion said:


> I propose a new system for names of works: we go back and review all works in the Western art music canon. We remove all bull**** used to name pieces like form (e.g. symphony) or number (e.g. #1) or key or opus numbers etc.
> 
> Instead of this convaluted garbage, we can refer to all pieces simply as "Music".
> 
> i.e. Symphony #1 in G minor, opus 24, becomes simply "Music".
> 
> So for example, Mahler's entire output would be catalogued thus:
> 
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> 
> And then we repeat this for all other composers and all their works.
> 
> Many thanks.


Why bother differentiating between composers? Why not simply rename every composer "Composer"?
"What that piece called?"
"Music."
"By whom?"
"Composer."
"Ah. I know that one."


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Which of these is the best measure of human worth?

1. Post count

2. Amount of likes received

3. Amount of likes given

4. Likes received / post count ratio

5. Likes given / likes received ratio

6. Amount of friends

7. Amount of friends * likes received

This poll will close on 2.3.2015. TC members will be ranked according to the most popular criteria and "Top 10 best Talk Classical Members" and "Top 10 worst Talk Classical members" will be added among other community lists. This rank will be also shown in posts right below username.


----------



## millionrainbows

Fagotterdammerung said:


> *"Exactly How Much Air IS In A G String?"*


Yes! The real question is, "Was it under-inflated so that listeners could grasp it more easily?"


----------



## millionrainbows

Skilmarilion said:


> I propose a new system for names of works: we go back and review all works in the Western art music canon. We remove all bull**** used to name pieces like form (e.g. symphony) or number (e.g. #1) or key or opus numbers etc.
> 
> Instead of this convaluted garbage, we can refer to all pieces simply as "Music".
> 
> i.e. Symphony #1 in G minor, opus 24, becomes simply "Music".
> 
> So for example, Mahler's entire output would be catalogued thus:
> 
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> Music
> 
> And then we repeat this for all other composers and all their works.
> 
> Many thanks.


Yes, good idea, but even with this scheme, we are in danger of defining certain sounds as "music." Let's just call it sound, and let it "be what it is" without our cumbersome conceptions of art.

The consequence of this is that "composers" are no longer needed, as 'sound is sound' without their intervention as "artists."

So our list will now appear as simply this:

Sound
Sound
Sound
etc.,

Even John Cage's name will be removed, as I am sure he would approve.


----------



## Dim7

There's a subforum for classical music and for non-classical music but no subforum for music in general. Are topics relating to both classical and non-classical music banned on TC?


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> There's a subforum for classical music for non-classical music but no subforum for music in general. Are topics relating to both classical and non-classical music banned on TC?


I would like to see a non-non-classical subforum for those of us who aren't really into non-classical music.


----------



## Blancrocher

TresPicos said:


> I would like to see a non-non-classical subforum for those of us who aren't really into non-classical music.


I noticed a long time ago that we were heading towards infinitely recursive subforums. It's why I never became a mod.


----------



## millionrainbows

I think we need a sub-forum for "Music composed without ego involvement."


----------



## Skilmarilion

TurnaboutVox said:


> 60. Glass: Music Music Music Music Music


Yeah, but with seriously ridiculous quantities of arpeggios. So ...

Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C Mu-s-Ic M-us-iC mU-Si-C


----------



## Skilmarilion

*Variations on a thread called 'conductors and taxis'*

Is the conductor's taxi ride home part of so-called interpretation?

Could the manner in which a conductor gets out of a taxi convey strong rubato?

Is taxi travel positively correlated with brass fanfares?

Is taxi travel as a means of transport one that may move some (but not all) individuals to tears?

Why is the fare for silent taxis always £4.33?

When travelling by taxi, does Valery Gergiev point directions to the driver using his toothpick?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Should Copland's _Piano Variations_ be a series of sculptures of slightly deformed pianos?


----------



## PetrB

millionrainbows said:


> I think we need a sub-forum for "Music composed without ego involvement."


Well, Wagner is out right away.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Should Copland's _Piano Variations_ be a series of sculptures of slightly deformed pianos?


As long as you arrange them in the exhibition space at the proper intervals, I don't see why not.


----------



## PetrB

Did Beethoven play any other instruments besides Piano, Violin, and Ear Trumpet?


----------



## Haydn man

All music that I like is gold, all the music I don't is shi.!
My views on interpretations of works are correct and I am the definitive authority largely because my ego says so.
You can choose to disagree with me if you wish and that being so you have my pity

Like this post you know it makes sense


----------



## KenOC

Haydn man said:


> All music that I like is gold, all the music I don't is shi.!
> My views on interpretations of works are correct and I am the definitive authority largely because my ego says so.


You are, I think, absolutely correct. Except that you have confused yourself with me.


----------



## Haydn man

KenOC said:


> You are, I think, absolutely correct. Except that you have confused yourself with me.


Sir,
Yes I am and no I am not


----------



## science

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Which of these is the best measure of human worth?
> 
> 1. Post count


Ideally, one would find oneself approximately third in that department. To be in the top two spots is too much of a good thing, indicative of an unrefined taste.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

science said:


> Ideally, one would find oneself approximately third in that department. To be in the top two spots is too much of a good thing, indicative of an unrefined taste.


I don't know.... about 1500 is a good number. Subject to change, of course.


----------



## science

MoonlightSonata said:


> I don't know.... about 1500 is a good number. Subject to change, of course.


A hypothetical denizen of talkclassical, named perhaps something along the lines of JupiterSymphony or EmperorConcerto, having achieved a count of 1500 in 9 months, might in 51 months have 8500.

That is certainly _within the bounds_ of good taste.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Should I Make Another Poll About Contemporary Classical Music?

Poll: Should I Always Capitalize Each Word In Every Thread (That Is To Say Poll) Title I Make?

Poll: Do Later Stupid Thread Idea Contributors Have To Work Harder To Get Likes Than The Ones Who Got Their Ideas Posted On One Of The First Pages Of The "Stupid Thread Ideas" -Thread?


----------



## MagneticGhost

Am I putting my family at risk by listening to Mahler's Kindertotenlieder?


----------



## elgar's ghost

How about 'Who is the sweatiest conductor?' (I'd vote for Gergiev, by the way...)


----------



## Dim7

What's your TC account password? Tell us the story behind it.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Do Later Stupid Thread Idea Contributors Have To Work Harder To Get Likes Than The Ones Who Got Their Ideas Posted On One Of The First Pages Of The "Stupid Thread Ideas" -Thread?


Poll: Is The Answer To That Question "Yes"?
*Definitely, it is.
*Maybe, it probably is.


----------



## arpeggio

If I dislike a contemporary work it is because it is too modernist.


----------



## ahammel

arpeggio said:


> If I dislike a contemporary work it is because it is too modernist.


To be precise: if I dislike a modern work, it is because it is because it is too contemporary.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Avant-garde music: dumb or dumber?

Aleatoric music: dumb or dumbest?

Atonal music: dumb?


----------



## Albert7

A sonic analysis of this album:


----------



## Dim7

Poll: What should I have for lunch?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Poll: What should I have for lunch?


Broiled thieving magpie a la Rossini.


----------



## Ingélou

Firebird soufflé?


----------



## hpowders

Well-tempered fillet mignon?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

You should have a trout meal where the food comes from five different fish.


----------



## Dim7

Paganini: Synth or real violin?

Symphonies: MIDI or performed by humans?


----------



## PetrB

Dim7 said:


> Poll: What should I have for lunch?


The Swan of Tuonela.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

You would Love Three Oranges.


----------



## Fagotterdammerung

What colors is chromaticism?

What shape is sonata form?

How many quarts in a quartet?


----------



## Dim7

Why do bald guys bother with wigs/toupées? I have never seen one I would mistake for the real thing!


----------



## PetrB

Quarter tones:

Is it like, C up to but not including D would then be a dollar's worth?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Fagotterdammerung said:


> What colors is chromaticism?
> 
> What shape is sonata form?
> 
> ow many quarts in a quartet?


Sonata form is like a sonnet. It's the Spanish term.


----------



## Albert7

Okay dumb question: which composer(s) would you like to get drunk (plastered) with?


----------



## Fagotterdammerung

MoonlightSonata said:


> Sonata form is like a sonnet. It's the Spanish term.


So, square? Or more rhombus-shaped?


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> Sonata form is like a sonnet. It's the Spanish term.


Indeed. And the exact sonata form will then depend on which "rhyme scheme" you are using. To find out which scheme is being used, I apply the following rules of thumb:

1. Take a look at the notes at the end of the 2nd staff. If they are identical to the notes at the end of the 3rd staff, you have a Petrarchan sonata.

2. If not, compare the notes at the end of the 2nd staff with those at the end of the 5th staff. If they are identical, you have a Spenserian sonata.

3. If not, compare the notes at the end of the 2nd staff with those at the end of the 4th staff. If they are identical, you have a Shakespearean sonata.

4. If not, you have a Moonlight sonata.


----------



## elgar's ghost

PetrB said:


> The Swan of Tuonela.


Sadly illegal if it found itself in British waters.


----------



## Dim7

Is the you-know-what-kind-of adventurousness of conservative Christians underplayed?


----------



## Fagotterdammerung

"Did JS Bach Die Of Multiple Organ Failure?"

"Bach and Product Placement: Why did he plug BMW in the title of every work?"

"A Ricercar Named Desire: Bach's New Orleans Period"


----------



## DeepR

Do long notes dream of rests?

Sorry it's getting late.


----------



## CBD

The post in white font thread.


----------



## Dim7

What did you do and where were you this morning, noon, afternoon, evening and night? Participation mandatory.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

CBD said:


> The post in white font thread.


The "It Shows Up In Comments" thread.


----------



## Dim7

Who's my favorite composer? Help me figure out.


----------



## SimonNZ

The Romantic Era was called that because of all the candle-lit dinners, right?


----------



## SimonNZ

The Anti-Modernists Have Some Pointy Heads


----------



## echo

do trombone players really get sick of being called tromboners?


----------



## Fagotterdammerung

SimonNZ said:


> The Romantic Era was called that because of all the candle-lit dinners, right?


Romanticism: if you haven't won her heart with five hours of back to back Mahler symphonies, she wasn't worth winning.


----------



## Blancrocher

**Method for Broadening Musical Tastes**

Hi Everybody! I've been reading threads on the forum, and noticed that a lot of you have been having a hard time appreciating various kinds of music. I had the same problem myself. Many people say that if you just give whatever music that offends you a chance you'll come to like it. There's been no agreement on exactly how many listens one needs--and I'm not surprised! Because this is all wrong! Don't listen to music longer--listen to it LOUDER!!

One day I accidentally turned my stereo on at full volume. It was Beethoven's 9th, but I could hardly tell my ears were ringing so badly. However, instead of turning it down I just left it like that. And you know what? By the time I got to the chorus it didn't particularly bother me for a change: in fact, it was no more painful than any other part. For the next few months I kept listening to music like this; whether on my stereo, in my car, or using headphones, my music was always at the highest volume. And it's worked wonders. It's gotten to the point now that I can go to any concert and everything seems the same to me. Works that had been difficult to me in the past--from Lachenmann to Fur Elise--are no problem! I'd say I've become completely non-judgmental! And so can you!

Please share your comments.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me epic symphonies like 1812 overture.

Recommend me some great avant-garde works with cannons like 1812 overture.

Recommend me profound atonalities like the cannon blast in 1812 overture.

Recommend me other great works written in 1812.

Recommend me 1812 overture because I like to hear it again.


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> **Method for Broadening Musical Tastes**
> 
> Hi Everybody! I've been reading threads on the forum, and noticed that a lot of you have been having a hard time appreciating various kinds of music. I had the same problem myself. Many people say that if you just give whatever music that offends you a chance you'll come to like it. There's been no agreement on exactly how many listens one needs--and I'm not surprised! Because this is all wrong! Don't listen to music longer--listen to it LOUDER!!
> 
> One day I accidentally turned my stereo on at full volume. It was Beethoven's 9th, but I could hardly tell my ears were ringing so badly. However, instead of turning it down I just left it like that. And you know what? By the time I got to the chorus it didn't particularly bother me for a change: in fact, it was no more painful than any other part. For the next few months I kept listening to music like this; whether on my stereo, in my car, or using headphones, my music was always at the highest volume. And it's worked wonders. It's gotten to the point now that I can go to any concert and everything seems the same to me. Works that had been difficult to me in the past--from Lachenmann to Fur Elise--are no problem! I'd say I've become completely non-judgmental! And so can you!
> 
> Please share your comments.


I used to think that I had achieved the same result by listening always at minimum volume. But then I read about John Cage's philosophy of music and I realized that this only applied to music that is formally recognized as such and couldn't yet appreciate pieces like "Mosquito whining in my ear", "My Girlfriend's Nagging", "Mowing the Lawn." I tried your method and it has worked wonders. Thanks!


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> **Method for Broadening Musical Tastes**
> 
> Hi Everybody! I've been reading threads on the forum, and noticed that a lot of you have been having a hard time appreciating various kinds of music. I had the same problem myself. Many people say that if you just give whatever music that offends you a chance you'll come to like it. There's been no agreement on exactly how many listens one needs--and I'm not surprised! Because this is all wrong! Don't listen to music longer--listen to it LOUDER!!
> 
> One day I accidentally turned my stereo on at full volume. It was Beethoven's 9th, but I could hardly tell my ears were ringing so badly. However, instead of turning it down I just left it like that. And you know what? By the time I got to the chorus it didn't particularly bother me for a change: in fact, it was no more painful than any other part. For the next few months I kept listening to music like this; whether on my stereo, in my car, or using headphones, my music was always at the highest volume. And it's worked wonders. It's gotten to the point now that I can go to any concert and everything seems the same to me. Works that had been difficult to me in the past--from Lachenmann to Fur Elise--are no problem! I'd say I've become completely non-judgmental! And so can you!
> 
> Please share your comments.


This certainly works for me. Once it's on ear-bleeding volume, I like everything. Even makes a toe-tapper out of four thirty three.


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> The "It Shows Up In Comments" thread.


This is so true.


----------



## Dim7

Skilmarilion said:


> Recommend me 1812 overture because I like to hear it again.


Recommend me this thread idea because I want to read it again :lol:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Do percussionists have feelings?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Do percussionists have feelings?


I hope percussion instruments don't have feelings. Or at least that they can't feel pain.


----------



## Centropolis

I want to start a thread on doing CD trades with other members. Things that you don't want anymore.....not selling but trades. Stupid?


----------



## Fagotterdammerung

*Volume Issues*

My local orchestra is too loud.  I've heard trumpets have a mute function - where do I find the remote control?

*Cage-y Question*

What is prepared piano prepared _for?_ What does it know that we don't?

*Misleading Titles*

After thorough testing, our so-called "CONDUCTOR" conducts electricity considerably less well than silver or copper.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Fagotterdammerung said:


> What is prepared piano prepared _for?_ What does it know that we don't?


They are prepared for the saving of the faithful - the mothership will arrive one week before the end of the world.


----------



## Dim7

TC tip: Confuse posters by first liking their post and then verbally attacking the post's content and the poster furiously


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> TC tip: Confuse posters by first liking their post and then verbally attacking the post's content and the poster furiously


That's a wonderful idea! What could you possibly be thinking posting it here? Is there something wrong with you?


----------



## SimonNZ

Mahlerian said:


> Schoenberg sucks! Y'all been Punked!


Re-Write The Posts You're Quoting To Support Your Arguments


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> TC tip: Confuse posters by first liking their post and then verbally attacking the post's content and the poster furiously


What a horrible thing to do! That's really nasty. I would never dream of doing such a hideous, despicable thing. Urgh!

Don't ban me, I'm joking...


----------



## SimonNZ

Why didn't Alma Deutscher keep the name Honey Boo Boo after she lost all that weight?


----------



## TresPicos

Poll: Is classical music a thing, as opposed to some thing, all things considered? And is this correct, or even wished?
* No, this is unheard of. You can't mix things like that. Or even notions. 
* Yes, all is well. 
* No, because whatever.
* Yes, things are things too.
* It all depends on the music.
* Unsure. 
* Not really unsure, just not sure.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Poll: Is classical music a thing, as opposed to some thing, all things considered? And is this correct, or even wished?
> * No, this is unheard of. You can't mix things like that. Or even notions.
> * Yes, all is well.
> * No, because whatever.
> * Yes, things are things too.
> * It all depends on the music.
> * Unsure.
> * Not really unsure, just not sure.


* It's the other way around
* It's a thing in itself


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> * It's the other way around
> * It's a thing in itself


Yeah, but that's the thing: is the thing in itself a thing in itself or just any old kind of thing? And where does the music come into the equation? Does it even, at this abstraction level? I have my doubts. We might need another poll to figure that out.


----------



## Celloman

This thread is a stupid idea.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

List ALL the music you like. Participation is compulsory.


----------



## Celloman

MoonlightSonata said:


> List ALL the music you like. Participation is compulsory.


If you don't participate, Beethoven's ghost will haunt you forever!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

If Stravinsky was Bach on the wrong notes, was Bach responsible for Stravinsky's death? Did he kill him in a fit of jealousy?


----------



## Dim7

Mods: Please delete this thread immediately*

*this hypothetical thread, not this thread I'm actually posting in


----------



## Celloman

A thread in which TC members bash their least favorite mods!


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> *this hypothetical thread, not this thread I'm actually posting in


Now _this_ would be quite stupid one...


----------



## TurnaboutVox

What musical works have TC members never listened to?

Post your favourite 'never heard' works, and say why you've never heard them.

For those trained as music theorists, say why they're not worth listening to, why you will never listen to them and why others needn't bother either.

Special points will be awarded for references to selectively perceived pitch centres or non-tonally oriented diatonic/modal collections etc. 

Points may be deducted for any post alluding to the musical tastes, supposed or otherwise, of George Bernard Shaw, Eduard Hanslick, Jesus, Ayn Rand, Stalin or Hitler.


----------



## PetrB

TurnaboutVox said:


> Points may be deducted for any post alluding to the musical tastes, supposed or otherwise, of George Bernard Shaw, Eduard Hanslick, Jesus, Ayn Rand, Stalin or Hitler.


Shouldn't that be _*alleged* musical tastes?_


----------



## Dim7

*Mystery poll*

Poll: ????????
*Agree
*Disagree

This poll will be closed and the question revealed in 6.9.1942. Be advised that this is a public poll: other users can see the choice you selected. Participation is mandatory: refusing to vote will result in a permanent ban.


----------



## DeepR

About the Eroica: Did Beethoven predict the telephone, or was there an actual phone ringing in the audience?





5:07-5:09


----------



## Dim7

DeepR said:


> About the Eroica: Did Beethoven predict the telephone, or was there an actual phone ringing in the audience?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 5:07-5:09


It's Beethoven's ears ringing.


----------



## TresPicos

TresPicos said:


> Should you? I don't know...


I poked it! 

http://www.talkclassical.com/36315-why-433-disparaged-while-post811687.html#post811687


----------



## ahammel

_falafasidosifalafasidosifalafasidosifalafasidosi_ *I just watched Einstein on the Beach three* _four five six four five six seven eight one two three_ *times in a row and* _it could get some wind for the sailboat and it could be very fresh and clean it could Frankie it could be what it is *and*_ *now I can't stop taking like this* _court of common pleas is now in session this court of common_ *please help me* _doredomidoredomidoredomidoredo_


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Poll: ????????
> *Agree
> *Disagree
> 
> This poll will be closed and the question revealed in 6.9.1942. Be advised that this is a public poll: other users can see the choice(s) you selected. Participation is mandatory: refusing to vote will result in a permanent ban.


Can I vote "Unsure?"


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Can I vote "Unsure?"


You can let me decide your vote in that case.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> You can let me decide your vote in that case.


 No, no!
How about "Don't know enough to decide?"


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> No, no!
> How about "Don't know enough to decide?"


Sorry, but no. "Agree" and "disagree" are the only options. Sometimes you just gotta take a leap of faith.


----------



## Dim7

I Was Going To Start A Thread About Something Else, But Since That's Where This Will Lead To Anyway We Might As Well Get On With it And Start Immediately Talking About John Cage's 4'33''

The Ultimate Thread Which In No Shape Or Form Is Related To John Cage's 4'33'' And Where We Will Make Our Utmost Efforts To Not Mention It At All Yet Still Fail To Do So


----------



## arpeggio

I believe the structure of Cage's _4'33"_ is circular.

For example, if a performer starts in the middle of the second movement, plays to the end, repeats to the beginning and plays to where he started and stops, it all sounds the same.

I dare anyone to tell me I am wrong :scold:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Would the course of classical music have been changed forever had Cage written not 4'33'' but 4'32''?


----------



## arpeggio

MoonlightSonata said:


> Would the course of classical music have been changed forever had Cage written not 4'33'' but 4'32''?


The reason the whatever was 4'33"s long because 4'32" was too short and 4'34" was too long. I know this is correct because I read it in Wickedpedia.


----------



## PetrB

ahammel said:


> _falafasidosifalafasidosifalafasidosifalafasidosi_ *I just watched Einstein on the Beach three* _four five six four five six seven eight one two three_ *times in a row and* _it could get some wind for the sailboat and it could be very fresh and clean it could Frankie it could be what it is *and*_ *now I can't stop taking like this* _court of common pleas is now in session this court of common_ *please help me* _doredomidoredomidoredomidoredo_


Read some Gertrude Stein, then write a letter to Laurie Anderson. After that, who knows? I hear she is available....


----------



## Blancrocher

**Advice to Moderators**

Hi Mods! I've been following the forum, and have noticed a lot of people making complaints about "trolling" and "baiting" recently. I think I've come up with a solution! Ban people, of course! And I think I've come up with a good rationale for suspensions that will make your forum run smoothly, politely, and informatively. The key is to notice that, even if any given post doesn't _seem_ inflammatory, anyone who makes _certain kinds of posts_ is obviously untrustworthy. I'd say that you should ban anyone who makes the following kind of post since they're obviously the kind of person who creates problems for the fun of it:

1. Anyone who mentions the name John Cage
2. Anyone who mentions the name Alma Deutscher
3. Anyone who mentions the word "modern"
4. Anyone who posts in Stupid Thread Ideas
5. Anyone who ...  ... hold on! ... I didn't mean..
...


----------



## Dim7

I think the ultimate solution is to ban all human members and make a bunch of bots generate polite and inoffensive discussion about classical music.


----------



## TresPicos

The time has come for me to say goodbye to TalkClassical, because of the way things here have suddenly taken a sharp turn for the worse. 

I know you all know what I'm talking about, and I suppose I won't be the only one leaving. I think it's kind of sad that the actions of just one member can have this effect on a whole forum. On the other hand, I guess I will have more time to actually listen to music instead of just posting about it, which is a good thing.

All the best to everyone! :tiphat:

PS. I might return when the offensive avatar in question...

http://i57.tinypic.com/dxia1d_th.jpg
http://s27.postimg.org/p84ocitkv/image.jpg

... is no longer in use, but I'm not sure, because at that point TalkClassical might still - in my mind - be "tainted" by this whole ordeal. Time will tell.


----------



## PetrB

New thread:

"I make jokes about John Cage's 4'33'' which reveal I really don't get it at all."

Uh, wait, that isn't exactly silly or stupid. Well... the latter, maybe.


----------



## PetrB

TresPicos said:


> The time has come for me to say goodbye to TalkClassical, because of the way things here have suddenly taken a sharp turn for the worse.
> 
> I know you all know what I'm talking about, and I suppose I won't be the only one leaving. I think it's kind of sad that the actions of just one member can have this effect on a whole forum. On the other hand, I guess I will have more time to actually listen to music instead of just posting about it, which is a good thing.
> 
> All the best to everyone! :tiphat:
> 
> PS. I might return when the offensive avatar in question...
> 
> http://i57.tinypic.com/dxia1d_th.jpg
> http://s27.postimg.org/p84ocitkv/image.jpg
> 
> ... is no longer in use, but I'm not sure, because at that point TalkClassical might still - in my mind - be "tainted" by this whole ordeal. Time will tell.


Vaya con Dios, Tres Picos :tiphat:


----------



## Blancrocher

Hoping that's just a parody, TresPicos, though it doesn't sound like one!


----------



## PetrB

TC's top 100 recommended most Barbaric and Malevolent Threads.

Step 1.) Nominations.

The thread is now open and taking nominations.


----------



## TresPicos

Clarification: My previous post - posted in the Stupid Thread Ideas thread... - was all about that horrible JB avatar, nothing else. And I _will _return once JB's gone.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Top 26 avatars that offend TresPicos.

Top 42 stupid thread ideas that TresPicos won't come up with now that he has been offended by top 26 avatars on this forum.

Top 168 hypothetical likes that TresPicos perhaps would give out during times where he may be logged off the forum but ideally would like to actually be logged on.

Top 14 recommended mono recordings of 1812 overture for TresPicos given that he would appear to now have more time to listen to mono recordings of 1812 overture.


----------



## TresPicos

Skilmarilion said:


> Top 26 avatars that offend TresPicos.
> 
> Top 42 stupid thread ideas that TresPicos won't come up with now that he has been offended by top 26 avatars on this forum.
> 
> Top 168 hypothetical likes that TresPicos perhaps would give out during times where he may be logged off the forum but ideally would like to actually be logged on.
> 
> Top 14 recommend mono recordings of 1812 overture to TresPicos given that he would appear to now have more time to listen to mono recordings of 1812 overture.


:lol:

...........................


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> I would like to see a non-non-classical subforum for those of us who aren't really into non-classical music.


Your favorite non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-non-cat related youtube videos


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> Hoping that's just a parody, TresPicos, though it doesn't sound like one!


Well, as Tres Picos is still posting I suspect that it is. Just don't tell him what Vaneyes has posted on "Current Listening Vol II", page 1651!


----------



## TresPicos

TurnaboutVox said:


> Well, as Tres Picos is still posting I suspect that it is. Just don't tell him what Vaneyes has posted on "Current Listening Vol II", page 1651!











OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!


----------



## hpowders

I recently invented a method for making objectionable threads invisible! 
I got the idea from Star Trek's cloaking device used against the Klingons. Send $35 for information packet. Please include social security number for a $5 discount.


----------



## Dim7

Top 4*60+33 times you came up with a 4'33'' joke, then hesitated in silence for 4 minutes and 33 seconds until you couldn't resist the urge anymore and blurted it out, after which everybody stared you silently for 4 minutes and 33 seconds

Top 4+33/60 jokes about 4'33'' jokes that bore you to the point that actual 4'33'' jokes start to seem interesting in comparison

Top 666 most barbaric and malevolent recordings of Mozart's Clarinet Concerto

Top 10i most disgustingly sweet & saccharine serialist pieces by Webern

Top 10 Brahms


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 10 Justin Bieber songs.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

PetrB said:


> New thread:
> 
> "I make jokes about John Cage's 4'33'' which reveal I really don't get it at all."
> 
> Uh, wait, that isn't exactly silly or stupid. Well... the latter, maybe.


What about the people who make jokes about Rachmaninoff's sugary sweet sentimentalism, or the Finale of Beethoven's 9th, or the duration of Wagner's operas, or Puccini, or Shostakovich, or... ?

Is it because those people don't get it at all?

Nothing is sacred. Everything can be laughed at. We laugh at stuff when we find something amusing, some people find the above things amusing, for a variety of reasons, including 4'33''. Gasp! 

Anyway, obligatory stupid thread idea: If Haydn was the father of the symphony, who was the mother?


----------



## PetrB

DiesIraeVIX said:


> What about the people who make jokes about Rachmaninoff's sugary sweet sentimentalism, or the Finale of Beethoven's 9th, or the duration of Wagner's operas, or Puccini, or Shostakovich, or... ?
> 
> Is it because those people don't get it at all?


Actually, they do get it or they wouldn't have been able to come up with those comments; 99.9999 percent of the 4'33'' jokes show the joker did not get the piece at all  
That quote which is TC member Dim7's signature?
*"Without 4'33'', life would not be music." * is a seriously funny and intelligent quip about 4'33''

If _only_ there were a proportionate number of jokes about those other pieces and composers, and less about just on cage piece, all would be more proportionate. "Equal opportunity to either make laugh or bore."



DiesIraeVIX said:


> Nothing is sacred. Everything can be laughed at.


Exactly, like jokes about Rachmaninoff's sugary sweet sentimentalism, or the Finale of Beethoven's 9th, or the duration of Wagner's operas, or Puccini, or Shostakovich, or...



DiesIraeVIX said:


> Anyway, obligatory stupid thread idea: If Haydn was the father of the symphony, who was the mother?


This reminds me of an old joke about the George Washington monument and a proposed accompanying nearby Martha Washington monument, but it is 'inappropriate' as per the ToS, pretty sure, anyway.


----------



## PetrB

Without violating any of the ToS, list and name all the TC members you think are age twelve to sixteen and for whom you think English is not their native language.


----------



## PetrB

hpowders said:


> I recently invented a method for making objectionable threads invisible!
> I got the idea from Star Trek's cloaking device used against the Klingons. Send $35 for information packet. Please include social security number for a $5 discount.


To hell with that. I want the guaranteed effective voodoo hex to torment the objectionable threads creators -- and any other of TC's members I have set on ignore -- to torment them until they go mad and are carted off to the looney bins, too deranged to ever successfully operate a computer ever again.

How much ya askin' for dat kinda ting, mon?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

People shouldn't be allowed to discuss contemporary music alongside good music. Ban all discussion of contemporary music or at least relegate it to a subforum.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

PetrB said:


> Actually, they do get it or they wouldn't have been able to come up with those comments; 99.9999 percent of the 4'33'' jokes show the joker did not get the piece at all


Exactly what I thought. The people who make jokes about Wagner or Puccini and Shostakovich, oh, well they absolutely _do_ get "it". The people who joke about 4'33'', well, they just don't get it. C'mon, man.



PetrB said:


> Exactly, like jokes about Rachmaninoff's sugary sweet sentimentalism, or the Finale of Beethoven's 9th, or the duration of Wagner's operas, or Puccini, or Shostakovich, or...


Er, yes, that was my point. One key difference, though. Never, not one single time have I ever seen a Wagner fan tell someone who made a joke about Wagner say, "Oh, well, you just don't get it".

You have said on multiple occasions that Wagner's concept of music, what it stands for, its aesthetic ideals and so forth are the complete opposite of what you enjoy. Have you not considered that some people may feel the exact same way about Cage, or his piece, 4'33''? That Cage, his concept of music, what it stands for, its aesthetic ideals, etc. are the opposite of what they enjoy. (Myself, I've enjoyed multiple Cage pieces that I've heard, but that's not important)

People have stated the point of 4'33'' on multiple occasions, it's on the internet, it's readily available. Just a couple clicks away. Yet, quite a few are _still_ unimpressed. No amount of someone explaining the greatness or importance or profundity of Bruckner or Wagner will make you see the light!

Obligatory stupid thread idea: Do ya think, when Schoenberg was a kid and backtalked his mom, she told him, "Don't you get those tones with me, mister!"

(More of a really _really_ bad joke than a stupid thread idea)


----------



## Mahlerian

MoonlightSonata said:


> People shouldn't be allowed to discuss contemporary music alongside good music. Ban all discussion of contemporary music or at least relegate it to a subforum.


This discussion has happened before...


----------



## PetrB

"People shouldn't be allowed to discuss contemporary music alongside good music. Ban all discussion of contemporary music or at least relegate it to a subforum."



Mahlerian said:


> This discussion has happened before...


Yeah, like, _seriously_ :lol:

Next: Should Atheists be allowed to take a bible study class?


----------



## SimonNZ

But...all the people who are constantly harping on "atonal" complaints would then be ghettoised? And those of us who say there's really no such thing can stay here?

Guys: I don't think you're seeing what an opportunity this could be.


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> But...all the people who are constantly harping on "atonal" complaints would then be ghettoised? And those of us who say there's really no such thing can stay here?
> 
> Guys: I don't think you're seeing what an opportunity this could be.


... and those who truly hear any and all music as pitch-centric, regardless of era or style, would be those who are allowed to freely move between both social groups... the diplomatic liaisons, as it were.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dear TC members,

I have a serious proposal to perfect classical music once and for all.

It is apparent nowadays that there is far too much deviation from the ideal performance of musical works, which I consider to be sacrosanct, in concert halls around the world. Instruments have changed over time in their design and construction, and performers in their style, leading to a catastrophic decline in standards and to myriad serious errors in performance.

My proposal is that every composer should be obliged to specify exactly which instruments their work is to be played on, and then those instruments and just those instruments shall be used in every subsequent performance, with no modifications or substitutions permitted whatsoever in any circumstances, on pain of summary imprisonment.

This would apply retrospectively to works from previous ages, when contemporaneous instruments would be allocated appropriately. I would be prepared to carry out this task personally, as a service to music and humanity.

These instruments would then be reserved for playing that work and that work alone, for ever and ever, thus ensuring that no variation and no errors (what I call 'performance degeneracy') can ever be introduced. They could be marked discreetly in white paint thus: (for example) "For the performance of Beethoven's Violin Concerto only" and shipped around the world as required.

I have yet to address fully the problem of standardising the musicians themselves, but no doubt cloning of ideal performers will solve this too, in time.

I am so certain of the correctness of this modest proposal that I now realise it requires no comment from you at all: it is perfect as it stands. I thank you for your attention!


----------



## PetrB

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Exactly what I thought. The people who make jokes about Wagner or Puccini and Shostakovich, oh, well they absolutely _do_ get "it". The people who joke about 4'33'', well, they just don't get it. C'mon, man.


When people stop making jokes dependent upon 4'33'' = silence = nothing, then I'll begin to think they get it.

If you don't get, "Without 4'33'', life wouldn't be music." then you don't get it


----------



## TresPicos

TurnaboutVox said:


> Dear TC members,
> 
> I have a serious proposal to perfect classical music once and for all.
> 
> It is apparent nowadays that there is far too much deviation from the ideal performance of musical works, which I consider to be sacrosanct, in concert halls around the world. Instruments have changed over time in their design and construction, and performers in their style, leading to a catastrophic decline in standards and to myriad serious errors in performance.
> 
> My proposal is that every composer should be obliged to specify exactly which instruments their work is to be played on, and then those instruments and just those instruments shall be used in every subsequent performance, with no modifications or substitutions permitted whatsoever in any circumstances, on pain of summary imprisonment.
> 
> This would apply retrospectively to works from previous ages, when contemporaneous instruments would be allocated appropriately. I would be prepared to carry out this task personally, as a service to music and humanity.
> 
> These instruments would then be reserved for playing that work and that work alone, for ever and ever, thus ensuring that no variation and no errors (what I call 'performance degeneracy') can ever be introduced. They could be marked thus discreetly in white paint: (for example) "For the performance of Beethoven's Violin Concerto only" and shipped around the world as required.
> 
> I have yet to address fully the problem of standardising the musicians themselves, but no doubt cloning of ideal performers will solve this too, in time.
> 
> I am so certain of the correctness of this proposal that I now realise it requires no comment from you at all: it is perfect as it stands. I thank you for your attention!


I will not comment on your post directly, due to its already perfect state. However, I would like to address another "performance degeneracy" that could easily be rectified.

If you choose a random classical work, e g Ravel's Bolero, you can be sure that the recordings that exist of that work are of different length. Some recording times found after a quick look at Spotify are 15:49, 14:25, 15:04, 14:25, 13:35, 16:04 etc. Why do conductors keep deviating from the optimal tempo of a work? Because they can!

When old masters like Beethoven composed their music, I'm absolutely certain that they had an optimal tempo intended for every work. If only the concept of minutes and seconds had been available back then, they would surely have written 14:25 etc in the beginning of their scores instead of using ambiguous tempo markings like "Allegro".

I therefore propose the creation of an International Classical Music Tempo Committee (CITMC in French) that will review all classical works and establish an optimal "standard" tempo (and playing time) for each work. This standard tempo should then be used in all subsequent recordings and performances of that specific work. To be able to keep the standard tempo, the conductor could have an earpiece with the sound of a metronome or, even better, with a correct recording of the work in question, so he or she could just follow that recording.

CITMC should also oversee the correction of all existing recordings of classical music works. Slow recordings should be speeded up, and fast recordings slowed down. Today, this can be done without modifying the pitch. The public should then be allowed to send in all their LPs, CDs, MP3s etc and receive new, corrected ones. This swap of recordings could be available against a small fee, or it could be paid for by inserting commercial messages between the different movements of a work.

I, for one, welcome a future where you can play a classical CD or go to a concert and know for sure that you will not experience any unpleasant tempo surprises.


----------



## DeepR

Oh god not again.... does 4'33" show up everywhere now?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TresPicos said:


> I will not comment on your post directly, due to its already perfect state. However, I would like to address another "performance degeneracy" that could easily be rectified.
> 
> If you choose a random classical work, e g Ravel's Bolero, you can be sure that the recordings that exist of that work are of different length. Some recording times found after a quick look at Spotify are 15:49, 14:25, 15:04, 14:25, 13:35, 16:04 etc. Why do conductors keep deviating from the optimal tempo of a work? Because they can!
> 
> When old masters like Beethoven composed their music, I'm absolutely certain that they had an optimal tempo intended for every work. If only the concept of minutes and seconds had been available back then, they would surely have written 14:25 etc in the beginning of their scores instead of using ambiguous tempo markings like "Allegro".
> 
> I therefore propose the creation of an International Classical Music Tempo Committee (CITMC in French) that will review all classical works and establish an optimal "standard" tempo (and playing time) for each work. This standard tempo should then be used in all subsequent recordings and performances of that specific work. To be able to keep the standard tempo, the conductor could have an earpiece with the sound of a metronome or, even better, with a correct recording of the work in question, so he or she could just follow that recording.
> 
> CITMC should also oversee the correction of all existing recordings of classical music works. Slow recordings should be speeded up, and fast recordings slowed down. Today, this can be done without modifying the pitch. The public should then be allowed to send in all their LPs, CDs, MP3s etc and receive new, corrected ones. This swap of recordings could be available against a small fee, or it could be paid for by inserting commercial messages between the different movements of a work.
> 
> I, for one, welcome a future where you can play a classical CD or go to a concert and know for sure that you will not experience any unpleasant tempo surprises.


I am humbled by your perspicacity, sir: your additional proposal would complement perfectly my original, which I believe to be absolutely necessary to prevent the decline of Western civilisation _into a new dark age of avant-garde barbarity_. I curse my timidity in failing to venture so boldly as you!

_"Convertimini Vocem" _


----------



## SimonNZ

Click tracks would solve these tempo problems.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me pieces that can drown out music by Andrew Lloyd-Webber.

Recommend me some great, original music by Andrew Llo -- oh wait, don't worry.

Recommend me other highly plagiarised music like Andrew Lloyd-Webber.

Recommend me Andrew Lloyd-Webber CD's that I can use as a coaster.

Recommend me other operas like Lloyd-Webber's _Phantom of the Opera_ but without the plagiarism.

Recommend me ways in which I can turn the radio off quicker when Lloyd-Webber music comes on.

Recommend Andrew Lloyd-Webber a different career.


----------



## Dim7

PetrB said:


> When people stop making jokes dependent upon 4'33'' = silence = nothing, then I'll begin to think they get it.
> 
> If you don't get, "Without 4'33'', life wouldn't be music." then you don't get it


I'm glad that you like my signature, but I also make jokes assuming that 4'33'' = silence (on the previous page for example). Which it is, in the sense that the performers are supposed to not play anything. I also do get that it is supposed about the ambient sounds people hear during the performance and I think a lot of people who joke about the "silence" of the piece get it as well. These people, while GETTING that's what the piece is supposed to be about may either 1) reject the idea that "incidental ambient sounds during the performance" can be considered a part of the piece 2) accept the idea but for the sake of a joke assume that 4'33'' = silence anyway.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me dark serial atonal avant-garde works that move you to tears.
Top 3.14159 Renaissance minimalist opera piano works.
Bach is too complicated.
Stravinsky's mean and nasty ballets are bullying me.
Help! Pachelbel's canon is following me everywhere.


----------



## Guest

Which conductors are best at twerking?

(Please post youtube links)


----------



## Dim7

*More precise like system?*

I think we need a way to express exactly what part of a post we like and what part we don't. For example in Mahlerian's post "This discussion has happened before... " I like the three dots at the end very much, but I find the rest of the sentence offensive and feel indifferent about the link.


----------



## hpowders

Were Wagner's barbaric and malevolent operas a rallying cry for Hitler's plan to establish a super-race of Übermenschen?

My first thread. Hope this stuff hasn't been discussed yet.


----------



## SimonNZ

Everything I've learned about Classical Music from Libertarian political rants.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> Everything I've learned about Classical Music from Libertarian political rants.


Almost everything I've ignored has been passive aggressive posturings.


----------



## Dim7

In the upcoming Music Theory subforum:

Want to ruin your enjoyment of a piece? Talk Classical's top theorists will dissect the piece and explain in the most cold, academic and dry manner how it is utterly derivative, completely lacking both in inspiration and craftmanship, is just a bunch of unimaginative and mechanic scales and arpeggios, and how even trained monkeys could compose better.


----------



## Guest

Who are your least favourite tolerable composers?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me more songs with cannons like 1812 and Pachelbell.


----------



## SimonNZ

MoonlightSonata said:


> Recommend me more songs with cannons like 1812 and Pachelbell.


^ Thats a mash-up that just _wants_ to happen


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hi guys im new here
i like atonalities
can u recomend me profound serialisms liek pachelbel cannon


----------



## Dim7

Exploding Tchaikovsky's Overture 1812

Tolerable modern classical threads

Likes that you haven't got but feel that you deserve

List all the likes that are undeserved in your opinion

List all the likes you have given out of pity

List all the friends you have made out of pity on TC

Talk Classical is down - when can we access it again?


----------



## CBD

Don't waste your time on pointless classical music! Here's some stuff you can skip without missing anything:
- First 20 min of Liszt Sonata in B minor
- First 50 Opuses of Scriabin
- Last 4 min of 4'33"
- Any of Myaskovsky's symphonies without the number 13 in the title
- The Chopin Nocturnes (you'll probably accidentally hear most of them anyway)


----------



## scratchgolf

I think some Presidential threads are long overdue.

-Did Millard Fillmore hate Schoenberg too?
-Should the Emancipation Proclamation have freed Atonality also?
-Did John Cage kill William Henry Harrison?
-What's larger? A baby grand or William Howard Taft's bathtub?
-What were James Polk's 47 favorite Haydn Symphonies, in order?
-11 ways the Watergate Scandal and the Rite of Spring Riot were similar. 6 Ways they were not.
-Top 3 oboe concerti written by Walter Mondale?
-Bill Clinton. Cigar or Piccolo?
-Did Chopin keep Gary Hart out of the Oval Office?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Talk Classical is down - when can we access it again?


I'm prepared. I've printed this off.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> I'm prepared. I've printed this off.


I think we need a printed version of Talk Classical for emergency situations like the recent problems with accessing the site. What's the address where we can send our posts to?


----------



## Cosmos

*Getting into Bach*

Why is he considered so great? His music is so boring, I sat on my couch and did not move listening to his complete works in BWV order. I could only take nine hours before giving up.

So, what are Bach pieces that aren't boring? Give me a list of every Bach work you enjoy so I can listen to them all at once, non-stop because I literally have no responsibilities

Edit: but nothing malevolent: organ music or anything too exciting


----------



## Celloman

A thread that combines:

1. whether John Cage's _4'33"_ is or isn't music
2. what is "sacred" music
3. Richard Wagner and anti-semitism
4. anything else controversial


----------



## Cosmos

Celloman said:


> A thread that combines:
> 
> 1. whether John Cage's _4'33"_ is or isn't music
> 2. what is "sacred" music
> 3. Richard Wagner and anti-semitism
> 4. anything else controversial


*Poll: Would Wagner approve John Cage's sacred works, as exemplified in 4'33" because it's not Jewish, or would he disapprove because, like Modern music and serial music, it's basically garbage?*


----------



## Dim7

*Out of character thread*

Everyone posts in this thread out of character. For example:

*Dim7* suggests intelligent thread ideas
*PetrB* writes like an idiot teenage girl with a poor vocabulary
*MoonlightSonata* posts like an extremely immature 80-old woman
*hpowders* writes long-winded & pompous Wagnerian rants
*Ingélou* makes lots of mean and negative comments and _hates_ everything
*ArtMusic* attacks traditional classical music and demands that music ought to be filthy and complicated
*Nobody* mentions John Cage's 4'33''


----------



## Mahlerian

The Cash Register Sounds in Pink Floyd's Money: Proof that Musique Concrete is Corrupting the Mainstream?


----------



## hpowders

I find Bach's Masses and Passions would be so much better without the singing; Vivaldi's Four Seasons, without the violin; Beethoven's Emperor Concerto without the piano. New here on TC and looking for others who think like me.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Everyone posts in this thread out of character. For example:
> 
> *Dim7* suggests intelligent thread ideas
> *PetrB* writes like an idiot teenage girl with poor vocabulary
> *MoonlightSonata* posts like an extremely immature 80-old woman
> *hpowders* writes long-winded, pompous & Wagnerian rants
> *Ingélou* makes lots of mean and negative comments and _hates_ everything
> *ArtMusic* attacks traditional classical music and demands that music ought to be filthy and complicated
> *Nobody* mentions John Cage's 4'33''


:lol: :lol: That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen on this website :lol: :lol:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me your favourite composers so I can insult them.


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> Recommend me your favourite composers so I can insult them.


I think the alleged perp should have a fabricated persona that seems to be a cumulative composite of every vapid and bored out of their mind character George Saunders ever played, just to make the whole endeavor that much more of a straightforward serial troll. It could be even more ridiculous, I think, if the poster's screen name was lifted from a fictional character in one of Ayn Rand's also pretty stupid novels; the whole effort then would be reaching for and nearly grabbing the brass ring for the ridiculous and sublimely stupid prize while at the same time successfully pulling of the troll thingie -- but naw, no one would carry it _that _far for fear of being transparent.

So Yes, that was a good call!


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Composers everyone should listen to because I kinda hate them and I want you to hate with me. This thread idea was brought to you by somebody's elses morbid obsession with Boehe. :tiphat:


----------



## PetrB

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Composers everyone should listen to because I kinda hate them and I want you to hate with me. This thread idea was brought to you by somebody's elses morbid obsession with Boehe. :tiphat:


Of course, you would just post the composers names and some works, stimulating others to listen while not really listening to those works yourself. Else, where would the fun come from? Think of it as a sort of musical hazing


----------



## millionrainbows

Celloman said:


> A thread that combines:
> 
> *1. whether John Cage's 4'33" is or isn't music
> 2. what is "sacred" music*
> 3. Richard Wagner and anti-semitism
> 4. anything else controversial


Oh, well, two out of three ain't bad!


----------



## Haydn man

MoonlightSonata said:


> Recommend me your favourite composers so I can insult them.


Or that ever popular variation ending with... so I can insult you


----------



## Ingélou

There is a sublime 'stupid thread' on the Irish Traditional Music site I belong to - it involves adapting famous lines from films so that they apply to the ITM scene, with bodhrans, Guinness etc. With Irish scenery, it works. I'm not sure it would work with classical music, but who knows...?

My favourite is: 'No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die, diddly eye die, die, diddly dum de die.' :lol:

But a runner up is: "You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve played the fiddle, instead I play banjo…a banjo player is all that I have become.’


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> *Ingélou* makes lots of mean and negative comments and _hates_ everything


Ingélou did call me degenerate though. ToS violation?


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> Ingélou did call me degenerate though. ToS violation?


Only because you provided it as a valid poll option; I thought you might be hurt if nobody picked it. Though as a matter of fact, I wasn't the only one - it's just that the others kept quiet!


----------



## TresPicos

*TC catalog of classical music*

Let's create a big catalog of all the classical music ever written, kind of like a Köchel catalog, but for all composers combined! When we're done, the whole music world could make use of that catalog and refer to Carl Stamitz' Sinfonia Concertante #11 as TC33125 and Vaughan Williams' 5th symphony as TC417289 and so on. So, if all of you here at TC can just post a list of every classical work that you are aware of in this thread, I will put them into an Excel sheet and get started on the TC catalog!


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Let's create a big catalog of all the classical music ever written, kind of like a Köchel catalog, but for all composers combined! When we're done, the whole music world could make use of that catalog and refer to Carl Stamitz' Sinfonia Concertante #11 as TC33125 and Vaughan Williams' 5th symphony as TC417289 and so on. So, if all of you here at TC can just post a list of every classical work that you are aware of in this thread, I will put them into an Excel sheet and get started on the TC catalog!


GREAT idea! This is especially useful for me since I have great difficulties with remembering names of composers. I still can't remember the names of my favorite composers Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Gustav Mahler and Alexander Scriabin.


----------



## Ingélou

Posting a poll on whether it should be 'catalog' or more correctly 'catalogue'. :devil:


----------



## TresPicos

Ingélou said:


> Posting a poll on whether it should be 'catalog' or more correctly 'catalogue'. :devil:


Sorry for being so American.


----------



## SimonNZ

TresPicos said:


> Let's create a big catalog of all the classical music ever written, kind of like a Köchel catalog, but for all composers combined! When we're done, the whole music world could make use of that catalog and refer to Carl Stamitz' Sinfonia Concertante #11 as TC33125 and Vaughan Williams' 5th symphony as TC417289 and so on. So, if all of you here at TC can just post a list of every classical work that you are aware of in this thread, I will put them into an Excel sheet and get started on the TC catalog!


Only if we get to have a massive fight over what should be number one.

Let me start the ball rolling: it should be Stockhausen's Hymnen. Obviously.

...or maybe Alma Deutscher's I'm A Little Teapot, Part 2


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> Only if we get to have a massive fight over what should be number one.
> 
> Let me start the ball rolling: it should be Stockhausen's Hymnen. Obviously.
> 
> ...or maybe Alma Deutscher's I'm A Little Teapot, Part 2


The first work should be a specially composed choral work: _Stupid Thread Ideas_ set to music.


----------



## SimonNZ

Maybe they should be ranked according to how often they're mentioned on TC - which means number one would have to be that quiet little piece that everyone's so noisy about


----------



## PetrB

MoonlightSonata said:


> The first work should be a specially composed choral work: _Stupid Thread Ideas_ set to music.


The only appropriate approach for that piece is the town-hall meeting / poll venue, yet again. First, there should be eleven pages or more of people guessing at / making up their own definitions of 'choral work,' and a poll to finalize the definition of 'Choral Work.'

Then, similarly, musical ideas, real or conceptual, must all be stated by all the members, voted upon, and the piece should ultimately be composed by a collective of TC members who have each posted their works in Today's Composers. The sung text should probably be in Esperanto.

This is the only way to near guarantee the work is both retro-conservative enough, insufficiently modern enough, modern enough, accessible enough, difficult (inaccessible) enough, and still be one of those pieces popular even with those who usually don't listen to classical music.


----------



## Ingélou

Brilliant, PetrB - and guess who should be the one to organise this? :lol:


----------



## Blancrocher

**A Poll**

Hi everyone. I'm considering posting a poll in order to learn of members' opinions about a particular subject, but before I do so I'd like to get a sense of everyone's willingness to participate in it. Please select one of the following options indicating the strength of your support for my poll:

A. Strongly Opposed
B. Opposed
C. Indifferent
D. Supportive
E. Strongly Supportive
F. Other

Thank you for your feedback. Comments are also welcome.


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> **A Poll**
> 
> Hi everyone. I'm considering posting a poll in order to learn of members' opinions about a particular subject, but before I do so I'd like to get a sense of everyone's willingness to participate in it. Please select one of the following options indicating the strength of your support for my poll:
> 
> A. Strongly Opposed
> B. Opposed
> C. Indifferent
> D. Supportive
> E. Strongly Supportive
> F. Other
> 
> Thank you for your feedback. Comments are also welcome.


I voted for Beethoven.


----------



## Blancrocher

TalkingHead said:


> I voted for Beethoven.


I can't believe you got the correct answer!


----------



## Ingélou

How do you define 'correct'? What do you mean by 'answer'?


----------



## TresPicos

Ingélou said:


> How do you define 'correct'? What do you mean by 'answer'?


How do you define 'define'? And what do you mean by 'mean'?


----------



## Ingélou

Before I answer those questions, how can I be sure that you exist?


----------



## Blancrocher

At this point, I think it would be best if we all just communicated in binary code. It will cut down on confusion, and we could all still easily congregate into two opposed camps.


----------



## Ingélou

But this would be discriminating against a third camp - those who can't handle binary code (like me)!


----------



## Blancrocher

**A Poll**

01 01010101 1001010 01010100101 01010 0101010

1. 0
2. 1
3. 

100101


----------



## TresPicos

Ingélou said:


> Before I answer those questions, how can I be sure that you exist?


Well, I don't exist _as such_.

I'm an auto-posting bot, written by barbaric and malevolent Swedes.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Ingélou said:


> How do you define 'correct'? What do you mean by 'answer'?


Uh, but Oscar Wilde said that:

*"To Define is to Limit".*

Or was that Dim7?


----------



## Skilmarilion

Which of these great composers wrote the most sublime music inspired by the Nazis?

-- Richard Wagner
-- Andrew Lloyd-Webber
-- Actually it's all the composers' music that Lloyd-Webber has plagiarised at any point in time
-- Unsure


----------



## Guest

What's that, to define is to limit? Please see attachment. See you there tomorrow?

View attachment Art without limits.docx


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> At this point, I think it would be best if we all just communicated in binary code. It will cut down on confusion, and we could all still easily congregate into two opposed camps.


By binary code, I assume you mean "a language in which words mean exactly what Dim7 wants them to mean and what happens to be convenient for him at the moment." But we're already speaking that language, right? 



Skilmarilion said:


> Uh, but Oscar Wilde said that:
> 
> *"To Define is to Limit".*
> 
> Or was that Dim7?


Yes, that was me. By "to limit" I of course mean "to Limit Break", as in Final Fantasy.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Well, I don't exist _as such_.
> 
> I'm an auto-posting bot, written by barbaric and malevolent Swedes.


Finnish bots are alcoholic and malevolent, Swedish bots are disgustingly sweet and effeminate.


----------



## Dim7

Ingélou said:


> Before I answer those questions, how can I be sure that you exist?


Wasn't it Descartes who said: "I think about something, therefore it must exist"?


----------



## arpeggio

I fart therefore I art.


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> Wasn't it Descartes who said: "I think about something, therefore it must exist"?


No - that was Bishop Berkeley, quoting God.


----------



## Guest

Ingélou said:


> No - that was Bishop Berkeley, quoting God.


God provides quotes??!


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> The first work should be a specially composed choral work: _Stupid Thread Ideas_ set to music.


I don't think it should be choral, I think it should be purely instrumental work so vividly programmatic that somebody who has never heard of classical music, Talk Classical and the thread in question understands immediately what it's about.


----------



## Ingélou

dogen said:


> God provides quotes??!


Of course - there are even the collected quotes in a book that's a world best-seller!


----------



## Guest

Ingélou said:


> Of course - there are even the collected quotes in a book that's a world best-seller!


Ah, fair enough!!


----------



## Dim7

Poll: To the History-Must-March-Forward-Modernists: If you discovered that some of the greatest works of Mozart were in fact written by Alma Deutcher who had time traveled to 18th century, would you dismiss them as worthless pastiche?


----------



## Celloman

The Barbarity and Malevolence of John Cage


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> I don't think it should be choral, I think it should be purely instrumental work so vividly programmatic that somebody who has never heard of classical music, Talk Classical and the thread in question understands immediately what it's about.


How's this for an idea?
Each post has a specific theme, with appropriate musical quotations inserted around it. The theme is repeated at growing volume according to how many "likes" the post recieved.
When a post features a quote, the unique theme of the quoted post is repeated in the background.


----------



## Guest

I fink that Peter Jackson shud've sacked that Howard Shore and got in that top-notch German geezer Rick Wagner for the music to accompany them three Lord of the Rings films. Stands to reason, don't it?


----------



## TresPicos

Celloman said:


> The Barbarity and Malevolence of John Cage


The John Cage of barbarity and malevolence


----------



## Skilmarilion

TalkingHead said:


> I fink that Peter Jackson shud've sacked that Howard Shore and got in that top-notch German geezer Rick Wagner for the music to accompany them three Lord of the Rings films. Stands to reason, don't it?


Rick Wagner? 

I only know of a Dick Wagner.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> **A Poll**
> 
> 01 01010101 1001010 01010100101 01010 0101010
> 
> 1. 0
> 2. 1
> 3.
> 
> 100101


You forgot the TC poll mandatory option:

01111110001101101000110000111001101110100011110001000101110100011011110000110
01111110110101101011010111110110100110101101101111101100100101101011110111110
01011110001101101000110000110000101010101101110001101101010100011011110000110
00000110111101101010110111110110101100101101111110101101110101111011110111111
11011010111110011011010000110110101110100011110001000101110101111000010000110


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Talk Classical: The Opera


----------



## Celloman

MoonlightSonata said:


> Talk Classical: The Opera


It may seem like an opera sometimes, with all the drama that goes on around here...


----------



## PetrB

TresPicos said:


> Well, I don't exist _as such_.
> 
> ...barbaric and malevolent Swedes.


 "Swedes" is really enough... the rest merely redundant


----------



## PetrB

Dim7 said:


> Poll: To the History-Must-March-Forward-Modernists: If you discovered that some of the greatest works of Mozart were in fact written by Alma Deutcher who had time traveled to 18th century, would you dismiss them as worthless pastiche?


Yes of course. Everyone knows that females have no talent whatsoever for music.


----------



## PetrB

TalkingHead said:


> I fink that Peter Jackson shud've sacked that Howard Shore and got in that top-notch German geezer Rick Wagner for the music to accompany them three Lord of the Rings films. Stands to reason, don't it?


It is a pity Erich Wolfgang Korngold wasn't available.


----------



## Becca

Blancrocher said:


> At this point, I think it would be best if we all just communicated in binary code. It will cut down on confusion, and we could all still easily congregate into two opposed camps.


The world is divided into two groups, those who divide everything into two groups and those who don't.


----------



## Becca

Dim7 said:


> I don't think it should be choral, I think it should be purely instrumental work so vividly programmatic that somebody who has never heard of classical music, Talk Classical and the thread in question understands immediately what it's about.


How about if we all come onto stage, sit there silently for about 4 1/2 minutes and then leave? Do you think that they will immediately understand?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Becca said:


> The world is divided into two groups, those who divide everything into two groups and those who don't.


No, it's divided into three: those who can count, and those who can't.
Or maybe it is just two: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.


----------



## Blancrocher

Hi everybody! I was just reading a post about an opera production combining Rigoletto and Planet of the Apes, and I just wanted to float the following idea to the moderators. Do you think we can have some punishments for people who bait/troll outside of the forum? I was thinking of something like a "Pre-Suspension" or perhaps "Honorary Lifetime Banning" that could go into effect anytime they tried to join TC. 

Comments welcome. Thank you for your consideration.


----------



## Dim7

TC tip: Confuse others by first arguing for position A, then immediately in the next post argue for the exact opposite and claim that you have always believed that and that everyone who believes in A is either stupid or insane

TC tip 2: Confuse yourself by writing something you'd never write normally and then take some amnesia inducing drugs

Reverse week on TC: All the musical conservatives have to pretend that they are modernists and vice versa. More hardline conservative you are the more radical modernist you have to become for this week and vice versa.

Reverse week on TC: All the moderators lose their moderator status and all the non-moderators become moderators.

(Strictly speaking none of these are thread ideas, but since they are stupid ideas related to this forum I think they fit under this topic)


----------



## Skilmarilion

Dim7 said:


> Reverse week on TC: All the moderators lose their moderator status and all the non-moderators become moderators.


Excellent.

However I think this idea could be improved by dedicating that week to give out really offensive, personal insults to all the "former" moderators. What's more, just as the week is about to end, they recieve a lifetime ban.


----------



## TresPicos

Poll: Which is more correct?
- Erich Wolfgang Korngold
- Erich Korngang Wolfgold
- Ergang Kornich Goldwolf 
- Neither
- Either
- Other (please specify)
- Whatever


----------



## Skilmarilion

*With thanks to the user "ObliqueFury"** for the following:*

Recommend me Galante Harp Concerti with profound oblique fury.

What are the greatest atonal Sinfonia Concertanti with implied oblique fury?

What is the greatest oblique fury in B major?

Can tone rows be formed out of oblique furies?


----------



## Dim7

*One Poll To Poll Them All*

The moderators have had enough of the recent surge of polls on TC and have decided that to *save space**, all polls will be merged into one single megapoll. From now on, all new polls will have to be submitted to the moderators who will merge them into this poll. Everyone also has unlimited number of votes in this poll. It will be in the format shown below:

Polls: Poll number 29: (Question), Poll number 918: (Question), Poll number 9 (Question).... etc.

Answers:
To Poll number 765: (Answer)
To Poll number 4: (Answer)
To Poll number 3929898: (Answer)
etc.

*meaning of course "to save the universe from a catastrophe"


----------



## PetrB

Becca said:


> How about if we all come onto stage, sit there silently for about 4 1/2 minutes and then leave? Do you think that they will immediately understand?


You _do_ know that if you do that then you must _perform,_ i.e. sitting down or not _you must act_, and not just sit as Lumpen, like many in the audience may be and do? because, otherwise, the audience just might mistake it 'for nothing,' meaning the people on stage had not at all done their job... so, better hire pros, or the work (and your joke) will fail.


----------



## Dim7

Becca said:


> The world is divided into two groups, those who divide everything into two groups and those who don't.


According to jokes that are aware of their own self-reference like this one, self-referential jokes are divided into two groups: those which are self-referential only on one level and those which, like this joke for example, are multiply self-referential


----------



## millionrainbows

Stupid Thread Ideas set to music:

*Cage:*_ 4'33" _Twenty-first Century version, reorchestrated and rewritten to contain music

*Edgar Varese: *_Deserts_, arr. for two pianos

*Penderecki: *_Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima, _reduction for solo violin

*Beethoven:*_"Moonlight" sonata,_ arr. by John Cage for prepared piano


----------



## Albert7

Munch munch... taco eating competition with accompaniment to Lizst.


----------



## Dim7

Pretending To Listen: Post here music you want other TC members think you listen 

Actually Listening: Post here whether you are listening to Für Elise or Pachelbel's Canon in D

Recommend me some polytonal works that use negative, irrational or imaginary number of keys simultaneously

Rude thoughts and observations that you don't dare to say in other threads


----------



## SeptimalTritone

millionrainbows said:


> Stupid Thread Ideas set to music:
> 
> *Cage:*_ 4'33" _Twenty-first Century version, reorchestrated and rewritten to contain music
> 
> *Edgar Varese: *_Deserts_, arr. for two pianos
> 
> *Penderecki: *_Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima, _reduction for solo violin
> 
> *Beethoven:*_"Moonlight" sonata,_ arr. by John Cage for prepared piano


Actually, your last stupid thread idea isn't stupid.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

millionrainbows said:


> Stupid Thread Ideas set to music:
> 
> *Cage:*_ 4'33" _Twenty-first Century version, reorchestrated and rewritten to contain music
> 
> *Edgar Varese: *_Deserts_, arr. for two pianos
> 
> *Penderecki: *_Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima, _reduction for solo violin
> 
> *Beethoven:*_"Moonlight" sonata,_ arr. by John Cage for prepared piano


Liszt's Transcendental Etudes arranged for harmonica.


----------



## arpeggio

Stupid thread ideas that are not stupid.


----------



## hpowders

Which is more acceptable-an old person listening to young performers or a young person listening to old performers?
I'm a new listener and want to get it right.


----------



## hpowders

How come Cage's 4'33" gets more ink on TC than Chopin's 1' 00" Waltz, an obviously better composition? Just asking. New here.


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Which is more acceptable-an old person listening to young performers or a young person listening to old performers?
> I'm a new listener and want to get it right.


Neither, you should stay in your own age group. And if it's an old group, mono recordings will do fine.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Neither, you should stay in your own age group. And if it's an old group, mono recordings will do fine.


I just wish I had access to a tape recorder when Lincoln was giving his Gettysburg Address.


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> Stupid thread ideas that are not stupid.


Please!! This is one of the few threads at my level of expertise!!

Ya wanna break my brain??


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> How come Cage's 4'33" gets more ink on TC than Chopin's 1' 00" Waltz, an obviously better composition? Just asking. New here.


Because 4'33'' is easier to play.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Because 4'33'' is easier to play.


When Claudio Arrau attempted Chopin's 1' 00" Waltz, he sometimes changed it to 2' 37".

Maybe Glenn Gould would have played it 4' 33". Now THAT would have been a fine howdy doo!


----------



## Dim7

John Cage posts an empty post in Talk Classical.

Everyone else: "Cage, why did you post an empty post?"

Cage: "You totally missed the point, my post is not empty, it consists of all the crap surrounding it (username, avatar, postcount, signature etc.)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Classical Music Rebuses (rebi?):

Waltz
33 33 33 33
Gf MuIgNuOeR
DcDaDnDoDnD DaDnDdD DgDiDgDuDeD


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Of all these poll options, vote for your favorite:

*Second poll option
*Third poll option
*First poll option


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: Is Modern Music Degenerate?
*Yes
*Certainly
*Very probably
*Undoubtedly


----------



## Ingélou

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Is Modern Music Degenerate?
> *Yes
> *Certainly
> *Very probably
> *Undoubtedly


Modern Archibald Cameron Music, or 'Modic' to his friends, may be degenerate, but as he's only an acquaintance, and I don't know him well, I think I'd better not vote.


----------



## Haydn man

Snide Rumours and Dirty Lies
Dish the dirt or vent your spleen on fellow TC members, post it here it's a moderator free zone.
Remember it all tastes better with added vitriol


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Is Modern Music Degenerate?
> *Yes
> *Certainly
> *Very probably
> *Undoubtedly


Loaded polls that assume that modernist noise is music are degenerate


----------



## SimonNZ

Haydn man said:


> Snide Rumours and Dirty Lies
> Dish the dirt or vent your spleen on fellow TC members, post it here it's a moderator free zone.
> Remember it all tastes better with added vitriol


"Choose the ad homs from the list in column A that best describes each of the TC members in column B"

_(kidding! kidding!)_


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> John Cage posts an empty post in Talk Classical.
> 
> Everyone else: "Cage, why did you post an empty post?"
> 
> Cage: "You totally missed the point, my post is not empty, it consists of all the crap surrounding it (username, avatar, postcount, signature etc.)


Don't. 
Just don't.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Don't.
> Just don't.


Do what? Make a John Cage joke? But this one was pretty creative if I may say so myself. Or post an empty post? That is (fortunately?) strictly speaking impossible.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*A Complaint*

Dear Mods,
WHY CAN'T WE MAKE EMPTY POSTS????!!!! :scold: 
There are so many reasons I want to do this:

I want to be acclaimed as a revolutionary avant-garde poster
I want to show I've read a thread without actually bothering to write anything
I like my avatar and want to see it without needing the effort of writing anything
I want to boost my post count without actually thinking of anything to write

Look at that list! Look!
Honestly, a four-year old could run this site better!
Yours Sincerely,
SpicedHammer

(Disclaimer: the sentiments expressed in this post are not those of MoonlightSonata Inc. or affiliated companies. Besides, four-year-olds would make terrible mods )


----------



## Dim7

*System for trading likes?*

I think we should be able to trade likes we have received from other members. Like this:

I post "Schoenberg sucks! Alma Deutscher is the saviour of contemporary classical!"

2 random members _like_ my post.

Mahlerian & PetrB have _liked_ some post made by posterX.

I trade my two likes with posterX for Mahlerian's and PetrB's likes.

Mahlerian and PetrB now _like_ my post "Schoenberg sucks! Alma Deutscher is the saviour of contemporary classical!"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> I think we should be able to trade likes we have received from other members. Like this:
> 
> I post "Schoenberg sucks! Alma Deutscher is the saviour of contemporary classical!"
> 
> 2 random members _like_ my post.
> 
> Mahlerian & PetrB have _liked_ some post made by posterX.
> 
> I trade my two likes with posterX for Mahlerian's and PetrB's likes.
> 
> Mahlerian and PetrB now _like_ my post "Schoenberg sucks! Alma Deutscher is the saviour of contemporary classical!"


I have a more elaborate idea. When a poster receives a certain number of _likes_ (50, maybe), they are allowed to "swap posts" with a member of their choice.
So, if somebody writes a stunning essay-length post complete with references and much historical background, I could then write "Schoenberg sucks! Alma Deutscher is the saviour of contemporary classical!" and _swap posts_ with the aforementioned member, claiming credit for the earlier post and embarassing its poster.


----------



## hpowders

I would be glad to switch posts all day with PetrB. It would finally give me some badly needed intellectual cred.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Relationship Advice: What Would Brahms Do?"


----------



## ahammel

John Cage posts an empty post in Talk Classical.

Everyone else: "Cage, why did you post an empty post? And haven't you been dead for decades?"


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "Relationship Advice: What Would Brahms Do?"


:lol: :lol: :tiphat:

Directly thanking you for this one, man. Too perfect.


----------



## PetrB

John Cage said:


> " -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- --------------------------" " -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- --- "- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- --------------------------"


------------------------------------


----------



## Dim7

ahammel said:


> John Cage posts an empty post in Talk Classical.
> 
> Everyone else: "Cage, why did you post an empty post? And haven't you been dead for decades?"


Cage: Yes I am dead, but you listeners of classical are almost dead too so you aren't much better.

or

Cage: Yes, I have been dead for decades and you have been dead for seconds. Welcome to heaven.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

PetrB said:


> ------------------------------------


. .


----------



## ahammel

Dim7 said:


> Cage: Yes, I have been dead for decades and you have been dead for seconds. Welcome to heaven.


There is at least one more possibility.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: Was John Cage an Alien?


----------



## SimonNZ

"I'm Bored: Amuse Me"


----------



## PetrB

SimonNZ said:


> "I'm Bored: Amuse Me"


Lol... this sort of OP quickly flips to the members reading such an OP thinking, 
"_You_ are boring and do not amuse _me._"


----------



## SimonNZ

"Should the string quartet on the Titanic have been playing modern classical during their final moments?"


----------



## Taggart

Haydn man said:


> Snide Rumours and Dirty Lies
> Dish the dirt or vent your spleen on fellow TC members, post it here it's *a moderator free zone*.
> Remember it all tastes better with added vitriol


Nice weather we've been having lately.


----------



## Dim7

What buildings have been the most challenging for you to get into? (For burglars)

Any illiterate people on Talk Classical?

Should anyone who posts a certain amount of one-star rated threads automatically become a moderator?

Jokes NOT to compose about


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> What buildings have been the most challenging for you to get into? (For burglars)


Mods: should we create a burglary sub-forum for this? I was thinking it might come in handy if SimonNZ's LP burglar shows up here


----------



## TurnaboutVox

> What buildings have been the most challenging for you to get into? (For burglars)


Or of course I could just have started the ball rolling with 'Simon's garage' in the first place...


----------



## Ingélou

Taggart said:


> Nice weather we've been having lately.


Does the weather affect your appreciation of classical music?

Which affects your outdoor listening most - heavy rain, heatwave, severe cold, or high humidity?

Has Climate Change had any effect on modern composers?


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me epic oratorios like Pavarotti Nessun Dorma.

Recommend me great orchestras like Il Divo.

Recommend me sublime piano trios like The 3 Tenors.

Recommend me 12-tone techniques like Placido Domingo.

Recommend me really nice serialist violin concerti by Andre Rieu.

Recommend me other uplifting film music like Ligeti Blue Danube Waltz.

Recommend me dissonant sonata form like Reich Music for Pieces of Wood.

Recommend me legendary avant-garde classical composers like Richard Clayderman.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Skilmarilion said:


> Recommend me other uplifting film music like Ligeti Blue Danube Waltz.


Now that I would like to have heard!


----------



## Dim7

I think the change from Cmaj7 (another chord) to Dim7 would be the first in "Top 10 Dumbest and Most Regrettable Username Changes in TC"


----------



## Dim7

SimonNZ said:


> "I'm Bored: Amuse Me"


I have this compulsion about reversing everything, so:

"I'm Amused: Bore Me"


----------



## Guest

What is it that is so difficult to "get" with the so-called modernist Andre Rieu??
Huh??


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me works I don't like
Recommend me Johann Strauss works like Elektra
Recommend me something to eat when I'm listening to music that bores me to tears
Recommend me some other string quartets like Abba
Recommend me something inadvisable so I can shout at you
Recommend me flower music like the Schnittke Viola Concerto by Bach
Recommend me Mahler works like Mathis der


----------



## Dim7

Recomm*a*nd me to do my own homework since I refused for the first time

Current Eavesdropping

Mozart's barbie-like and femalevolent symphonies


----------



## SimonNZ

Skilmarilion said:


> Recommend me other uplifting film music like Ligeti Blue Danube Waltz.





TurnaboutVox said:


> Now that I would like to have heard!


I seem to recall hearing a cd of Johann Strauss transcriptions by the Second Viennese guys, but it wasn't nearly as awesome or iconoclastic as that sounds like it ought to be.

on topic:

"Recommend me Mozart opera dvds with costume design like _Oh! Calcutta!_"

"Franz Liszt's Reminiscences Of The Theme From Jaws"

"Franz Liszt's Reminiscences Of Chopsticks"


----------



## hpowders

I was told to join TC because it's my most likely forum to find a free re-bait.
How do I do it? New here. Paper work?


----------



## hpowders

I'm looking for a definitive recording of The Sparrow Descending by a Vinny Williams. A little help here!!


----------



## SimonNZ

"Should RVW sue Takemitsu for stealing A Flock Descends?"


----------



## Mahlerian

SimonNZ said:


> I seem to recall hearing a cd of Johann Strauss transcriptions by the Second Viennese guys, but it wasn't nearly as awesome or iconoclastic as that sounds like it ought to be.


Those transcriptions were made for a benefit concert for their Society for Private Musical Performances, which was a group that could only afford small ensembles (hence the similar arrangements of Mahler and Reger). Benefit concerts, then as now, are hardly the time or place for radical deconstructionist takes on familiar tunes.


----------



## Celloman

The "Classical music is boring, I'd rather listen to rock music" thread.


----------



## CBD

Community Forum: The "Quote Forum Members Out of Context" Thread!!!!!!!


----------



## senza sordino

SimonNZ said:


> "Should the string quartet on the Titanic have been playing modern classical during their final moments?"


And then maybe all modern music would have gone down with the Titanic


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> "Should the string quartet on the Titanic have been playing modern classical during their final moments?"


Poll: Which string quartet should be booked to play on the maiden (final?) voyage of the Virgin Galactic?

(i) Kronos Quartet 
(ii) Arditti Quartet
(iii) JACK Quartet
(iv) None of the above, why not give Justin Bieber the honour?


----------



## Polyphemus

Janacek String Quartet No 2 "Intimate Letters". 
You Never know, it might be your last chance.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: Which string quartet should be booked to play on the maiden (final?) voyage of the Virgin Galactic?
> 
> (i) Kronos Quartet
> (ii) Arditti Quartet
> (iii) JACK Quartet
> (iv) None of the above, why not give *Justin Bieber *the honour?


 .... and Nigel Kennedy, Lang Lang and .... who else to make up a quartet?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me heavy, profound composers.

(note I say _composers_ not _music_)


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Unsure

*Are you agnostic?
*Are you going to vote in this poll?
*Do you exist?
*Do you have any doubts about anything?

I chose the answer, you choose the question.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Is this poll a shining example of fairness?

Yes, it's the best poll ever!
Not quite, but it's still an amazing poll, and it's wonderful!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Recommend me heavy, profound composers.
> 
> (note I say _composers_ not _music_)


Gio Rossini.


----------



## hpowders

Classical music sooo totally sucks! Complete rubbish. Tell me why you hate it too!


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Classical music sooo totally sucks! Complete rubbish. Tell me why you hate it too!


Cos nobody plays gibson Les Pauls Real Loud and there aint 30 Min drum solos.


----------



## Dim7

Misconceptions you currently have as an adult

Children you have as a result of a conception

Test the limits of ToS -thread


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: Which string quartet should be booked to play on the maiden (final?) voyage of the Virgin Galactic?
> 
> (i) Kronos Quartet
> (ii) Arditti Quartet
> (iii) JACK Quartet
> (iv) None of the above, why not give Justin Bieber the honour?


Wait! Should I be disparaging of these? I didn't realise...


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> Cos nobody plays gibson Les Pauls Real Loud and there aint 30 Min drum solos.


Dats watt I taught two!!!


----------



## Dim7

Is bragging about your infraction points and times you were banned a good way to impress girls on TC and convince them that you are a badass rebel alpha male?

Contest: Earn As Many Infraction Points As Possible day. Nobody will be banned until the day is over.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Is bragging about your infraction points and times you were banned a good way to impress girls on TC and convince them that you are a badass rebel alpha male?


That'll probably work. Or a badass, bearded avatar. 

Or to champion atonal music. Do you really think we do that because we like the music? 



Dim7 said:


> Contest: Earn As Many Infraction Points As Possible day. Nobody will be banned until the day is over.


That would be a fun day! 

But I guess the infraction points from that day would then keep us banned for decades.


----------



## TresPicos

*Signature music*

Why is TalkClassical so silent? I would definitely expect more classical music on a classical music forum. Sure, we can click on YouTube videos and mp3 links, but music should be playing automatically, from the moment we enter the forum every day!

One way would be to allow the use of music in our signatures. Just like we can add text there, we should be able to add music. Whenever one of our posts is in focus in the browser, the music in our signatures should start playing, and when we scroll to the next post, that music will start playing and the previous post's music should fade out.

I really can't see any downside with this, whatsoever.


----------



## pianississimo

forum musak? 
Something unbearably cheesy or perhaps jangly and grating ?
Like online bubble games or home-made fan websites?


----------



## pierrot

Dim7 said:


> *Misconceptions you currently have as an adult*
> 
> Children you have as a result of a conception
> 
> Test the limits of ToS -thread


Some deep stuff in that hypothetical thread.


----------



## Albert7

The plothera of poll threads


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Insult or blame your fellow TC members.


----------



## ahammel

MoonlightSonata said:


> Insult or blame your fellow TC members.


[Later] "The thread is locked and it's all your fault, you moron!"


----------



## SimonNZ

"How did JS Bach and Anna Magdalena make Johann Christian Bach? (My parents wont tell me.)"

edit: and its in none of the biographies. None!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Sopranos who really sound like women


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Why is TalkClassical so silent? I would definitely expect more classical music on a classical music forum. Sure, we can click on YouTube videos and mp3 links, but music should be playing automatically, from the moment we enter the forum every day!
> 
> One way would be to allow the use of music in our signatures. Just like we can add text there, we should be able to add music. Whenever one of our posts is in focus in the browser, the music in our signatures should start playing, and when we scroll to the next post, that music will start playing and the previous post's music should fade out.
> 
> I really can't see any downside with this, whatsoever.


Message from Krummhorn:

We have decided to implement your wonderful idea immediately. However, your idea about the music changing according to the focus in the browser is a little bit too advanced for our coding team. Instead, all the signature music on the page the user is viewing will be played simultaneously.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Is bragging about your infraction points and times you were banned a good way to impress *girls on TC* and convince them that you are a badass rebel alpha male?


Just in case some of you didn't get it, the bolded part is the joke :lol:


----------



## Blancrocher

OK, I know I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I'm wracked with guilt. I just can't stand to see you making such thoughtful, passionate, and occasionally rather angry posts day in and day out with apparently no idea of what is going on here. You do realize that the rest of us are paid publicists for the music industry, right? _You're the only one_ taking any of this seriously.


----------



## Dim7

daerht sdrawkcab etirW


----------



## Headphone Hermit

TresPicos said:


> Why is TalkClassical so silent? I would definitely expect more classical music on a classical music forum. Sure, we can click on YouTube videos and mp3 links, but music should be playing automatically, from the moment we enter the forum every day!
> 
> One way would be to allow the use of music in our signatures. Just like we can add text there, we should be able to add music. Whenever one of our posts is in focus in the browser, the music in our signatures should start playing, and when we scroll to the next post, that music will start playing and the previous post's music should fade out.
> 
> I really can't see any downside with this, whatsoever.


you *are * currently listening to 4' 33" .... turn the volume up if you can't hear anything


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Blancrocher said:


> OK, I know I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I'm wracked with guilt. I just can't stand to see you making such thoughtful, passionate, and occasionally rather angry posts day in and day out with apparently no idea of what is going on here. You do realize that the rest of us are paid publicists for the music industry, right? _You're the only one_ taking any of this seriously.


delete final two sentences and replace with 'You do not seem to realise that no-one else reads any of your posts because all of the other posters are posting automatic replies' :lol:


----------



## Dim7

*Suggestion for maintaining a peaceful and civil atmosphere on the forum*

Tensions have increased on TalkClassical lately. Modernists vs. conservatives fights, trolling, baiting and other unpleasant things have become more and more frequent. I think I have a solution for this problem: ban all other kinds of topics except that are in the form "Favorite (something) or "Top (number) (something)." I think it should be also forbidden to give any reasons for your "favorites" or "Top 10 lists" since they could be used as a concealed attacks on other posters, composers or whatever. All the lists should be of course of positive nature and nothing like "Top 10 worst composers". What do you think?


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> Tensions have increased on TalkClassical lately. Modernists vs. conservatives fights, trolling, baiting and other unpleasant things have become more and more frequent. I think I have a solution for this problem: ban all other kinds of topics except that are in the form "Favorite (something) or "Top (number) (something)." I think it should be also forbidden to give any reasons for your "favorites" or "Top 10 lists" since they could be used as a concealed attacks on other posters, composers or whatever. All the lists should be of course of positive nature and nothing like "Top 10 worst composers". What do you think?


If we really want to ease tensions, I think we should eliminate music discussion altogether in the main forum and just discuss politics or something. Somebody could create a Social Group for classical music discussion, where it doesn't matter so much if things get heated.


----------



## TresPicos

Blancrocher said:


> If we really want to ease tensions, I think we should eliminate music discussion altogether in the main forum and just discuss politics or something. Somebody could create a Social Group for classical music discussion, where it doesn't matter so much if things get heated.


Can't we just eliminate the whole forum?

If we shut down TalkClassical completely, there would be no tensions at all.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Can't we just eliminate the whole forum?
> 
> If we shut down TalkClassical completely, there would be no tensions at all.


I wouldn't go that far. I would just delete all the posts/visitor messages/threads etc. and make posting impossible.

I wonder what would be the musical equivalent of that kind of forum?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Agree or disagree?

*Agree
*Disagree
*In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.... (insert the whole content of the Bible here)


----------



## Dim7

Post Anything To Increase Your Post Count


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Message from Krummhorn:
> 
> We have decided to implement your wonderful idea immediately. However, your idea about the music changing according to the focus in the browser is a little bit too advanced for our coding team. Instead, all the signature music on the page the user is viewing will be played simultaneously.


"TC Symphony in the Style of Ives"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: Which is your favourite Mozart work?
*K1
*K2
*K3
*K4
*K5
*K6
*K7
...
...
*K626


----------



## Celloman

*4'33" Poll*

Question:

Choice #1:
Choice #2:


----------



## Polyphemus

As 15 letter are required per answer my answer therefore is :-

Wait for it :-

Choice #3:


----------



## DiesIraeCX

*I* CAnT t*H*1Nk 0*f* A*n*Yt_*H*_1n*G* m0r*3* An*N*oY1nG tH*a**N* _W_h3*N* TAlKClaSs1cAl g*0*es *0*ffL1Ne

N*0*t *0*N*e*. s*1*n_G_Le. *T*H*i*N*g*.


----------



## KenOC

Help! Looking for chamber music recordings with a good beat and a decent drum part.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Compliment or thank me.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Does Schoenberg really exist?


----------



## Dim7

I BEG you, please do NOT under any circumstances or for any reason 'like' this post!


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Does Schoenberg really exist?


Do dead people in general "exist"?  I guess they don't, but it's a pretty misleading thing to say.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I BEG you, please do NOT under any circumstances or for any reason 'like' this post!


Like it? I LOVE IT!


----------



## Dim7

YES, modern art music is horrible and painful, but we must keep composing, playing and listening to it because no matter what MUSIC MUST PROGRESS!!!! by AvantgardeOrDie

YES, tonal music is much better than modern noise, but composing it forever would be too much fun so we can't do that!! by ModernistNotByChoice

What do you think about my piece "Concerto for tone-deaf involuntary violinist who has never played violin before and unwilling audience"?

Parallels between Music and Serialism

I grew up with Schoenberg and Mozart sounds dissonant and ugly to me


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:
The Pines of Rome sounds like the ocean and La Mer sounds like Italian pines. I'm a new classical music listener.
Should I just quit? I hate being incompetent at anything.


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Help needed:
> The Pines of Rome sounds like the ocean and La Mer sounds like Italian pines. I'm a new classical music listener.
> Should I just quit? I hate being incompetent at anything.


:lol:

If you play them both at the same time, the problem will go away.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> :lol:
> 
> If you play them both at the same time, the problem will go away.


Thanks! I was about to cancel my membership, which would have been a shame since I aced the entrance exam to be a poster here.

I've taken this and other diagnostic tests by some Taggart guy and I seem to have always done well.


----------



## Celloman

Name your favorite pieces that use the hypolocrian mode (up to a maximum of ten please)


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Do dead people in general "exist"?  I guess they don't, but it's a pretty misleading thing to say.


They may be screaming "YES!! YES!!" but within their dimension, we cannot hear them.

(An hpowders metaphysical post donated to TC posters for future thought and reflection.)


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> :lol:
> 
> If you play them both at the same time, the problem will go away.


Logically speaking, if you play two good pieces at the same time shouldn't the combination be better than either of them? Why not listen to all the masterpieces of classical music at the same time?

Better yet: listen to all the music you ever want to listen at the same time and speed it up so much it takes only one second. Saves time.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Logically speaking, if you play two good pieces at the same time shouldn't the combination be better than either of them? Why not listen to all the masterpieces of classical music at the same time?


Ives must have had the right idea.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Can't we just eliminate the whole forum?
> 
> If we shut down TalkClassical completely, there would be no tensions at all.


The only thread worth carrying on is "Stupid Thread Ideas" anyway.


----------



## Dim7

*Non-metal, non-jazz etc. subforums*

If TC has a subforum for "non-classical" music, shouldn't it also have non-forums for other genres? Like non-metal, non-jazz, non-country etc. Since there would be several subforums to discuss classical music in general the "classical music discussion" subforum should be abolished if this idea would be implemented.


----------



## hpowders

What is your favorite work by your most hated and reviled composer who you never listen to?


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> If TC has a subforum for "non-classical" music, shouldn't it also have nonforums for other genres? Like non-metal, non-jazz, non-country etc. Since there would be several subforums to discuss classical music in general the "classical music discussion" subforum should be abolished if this idea would be implemented.


Non-Cage? :devil:


----------



## Figleaf

hpowders said:


> What is your favorite work by your most hated and reviled composer who you never listen to?


Lohengrin. Next question? :lol:


----------



## Becca

Ingélou said:


> Non-Cage? :devil:


Given the proliferation of cage-free eggs in the stores, isn't it about time for Cage-free music ... or is that a redundancy?


----------



## Dim7

Ingélou said:


> Non-Cage? :devil:


Beautiful idea in theory but I'm afraid it's pretty utopian...


----------



## hpowders

Figleaf said:


> Lohengrin. Next question? :lol:


As long as it wasn't Der Fliegende Holländer. I can relate to that one! I can't get off this forum!! Doomed to sail the stormy seas of cyberspace.
Yet I just know redemption is out there somewhere!!


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Do younger posters lack the appropriate respect for the older posting legends on TC?

I'm a new young poster (17) and I got scared reading what a famous high profile poster on TC wrote that some day I will be old too and I really must disagree!!


----------



## Taggart

Which mezzo-sopranos sound like men?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

I'm going to start a new religion, The Church of Classical Music of Talk-Classical Saints. I ask for $4,330 from each and every TalkClassical member in order to build a first church. There is only one commandment in order to follow the religion: worship, with all your heart, soul, and might, the holy trinity of classical music composition. Thou shalt erect a monument in thy abode of dwelling in praise of the holy trinity, and listen with utmost attentiveness to their divine music every day.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

KenOC said:


> Help! Looking for chamber music recordings with a good beat and a decent drum part.


I believe a Mr Gabriel Prokofiev can help you there Ken, should you wish to partake of a little 'Hip-hop remix'!


----------



## Albert7

Stupid thread = are you all old people?


----------



## hpowders

I'm tired of the crap I see here on TC and I'm leaving permanently, but I'll be back and then you'll see!!


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> I'm tired of the crap I see here on TC and I'm leaving permanently, but I'll be back and then you'll see!!


Awwww, please don't. Romeo and Juliet won't be the same without you.


----------



## CBD

KenOC said:


> Help! Looking for chamber music recordings with a good beat and a decent drum part.






........................


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SeptimalTritone said:


> I'm going to start a new religion, The Church of Classical Music of Talk-Classical Saints. I ask for $4,330 from each and every TalkClassical member in order to build a first church. There is only one commandment in order to follow the religion: worship, with all your heart, soul, and might, the holy trinity of classical music composition. *Thou shalt erect a monument in thy abode of dwelling in praise of the holy trinity*, and listen with utmost attentiveness to their divine music every day.


Hmm.... I have a birdcage, a shoe, and a _Deutsch-Englisch Wortebuch_. Is that enough?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hmm.... I have a birdcage, a shoe, and a _Deutsch-Englisch Wortebuch_. Is that enough?


Technically, no monument at all would be the highest praise.


----------



## Dim7

Talk Classical coup d'état: Plot against the TC establishment here!


----------



## hpowders

I saw for sale very cheap, "Peter and the Wolf". I'm concerned that it's a phony production because it should really be "Pyotr and the Wolf".


----------



## Posie

Is Debussy a girl thing?


----------



## Albert7

Now presenting Britten's An Old Person's Guide to the Orchestra in full stereo.

(p.s. young people, please respect your elders...)


----------



## Albert7

marinasabina said:


> Is Debussy a girl thing?


Is Wagner a guy thing?


----------



## TresPicos

marinasabina said:


> Is Debussy a girl thing?


Actually, yes.

When Debussy launched impressionism together with Maurice Ravel and Charles Koechlin, they decided that Debussy would write for a female audience and Ravel for a male audience. Koechlin, who arrived late at that initial meeting, was left without an audience.

Instead of giving up his career in music, Koechlin set out to write music for aliens, mermaids, dragons etc, but since his music came to sound quite odd, only Debussy and Ravel are still remembered as the "great impressionists".


----------



## Albert7

How to listen to old Beethoven records on a Fisher Price turntable


----------



## hpowders

albertfallickwang said:


> Awwww, please don't. Romeo and Juliet won't be the same without you.


Sorry. In reflection, it sounded like a stupid thread idea. Wonder why I posted it.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Talk Classical coup d'état: Plot against the TC establishment here!


Count me in! Don't tell anybody! I want it to be a surprise!!


----------



## hpowders

albertfallickwang said:


> Is Wagner a guy thing?


No. Wagner is a controversial thing!!


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Count me in! Don't tell anybody! I want it to be a surprise!!


Reminds me of this:


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Reminds me of this:


Looks like my advanced physical chemistry prof in grad school.

His only weakness was he couldn't speak English.


----------



## Dim7

Should the Allies have used atonal music on the Japanese in the WWII instead of atomic bombs or would that have been even more inhumane?

The "ato" in atonal music and atomic bomb - not a coincidence!


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!!
I can't seem to find this anywhere to purchase: Schubert's great quartet "The Demise of the Virgin".
Does that mean all recordings of it are all sold out?


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Help needed!!
> I can't seem to find this anywhere to purchase: Schubert's great quartet "The Demise of the Virgin".
> Does that mean all recordings of it are all sold out?


You got the name wrong - it's "Death metal and Iron Maiden".


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> You got the name wrong - it's "Death metal and Iron Maiden".


No! No! That one was for sale. The professor said "Demise of the Virgin". This was at Juilliard during the course "Why I Hate Schubert" 2 credits.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why can't I find any interviews with Beethoven on YouTube?


----------



## TresPicos

Every time a thread is created about some subject, an opposite thread should be created automatically. A sushi thread should give rise to a non-sushi thread, for those who want to discuss anything except sushi. An Edward Elgar thread should immediately be accompanied by a non-Edward Elgar thread. After all, everyone is not interested in everything. Also, even mentioning Edward Elgar in the non-Edward Elgar thread should lead to infraction points and a temporary ban.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

^^^ so a thread on "someone's pithy sayings" could be accompanied by, say, a "pith on someone" thread? :devil:


----------



## Albert7

To hate Mozart or not to hate Mozart, that is the question.

Whatttttttttttttttt?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> Every time a thread is created about some subject, an opposite thread should be created automatically. A sushi thread should give rise to a non-sushi thread, for those who want to discuss anything except sushi. An Edward Elgar thread should immediately be accompanied by a non-Edward Elgar thread. After all, everyone is not interested in everything. Also, even mentioning Edward Elgar in the non-Edward Elgar thread should lead to infraction points and a temporary ban.


How about a thread for everyone but one member, in which other may discuss that member behind his/her back? These would be unmoderated, of course, for maximum honesty.


----------



## Becca

How about a Marschallin Blair thread? That should keep us busy for a long time!


----------



## DeepR

Any descendants of the famous castrati living today?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: In your use of language, are the meanings of the words "yes" and "no" reversed?
*Yes
*No


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Becca said:


> How about a Marschallin Blair thread? That should keep us busy for a long time!


'Marschallin' ambitions, 'blonde' ("all too blonde") realities?

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.


----------



## Guest

In response to DeepR's post #2921:

If the emasculation took place_ post coitally_, it's possible. So I'm told. 
So here's an idea for a blockbuster film starring Mat _Daemon_: The Castrati Legacy.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

DeepR said:


> Any descendants of the famous castrati living today?


excellent question .... and why do we never hear about female castrati?


----------



## Headphone Hermit

TalkingHead said:


> In response to DeepR's post #2921:
> 
> If the emasculation took place_ post coitally_, it's possible. So I'm told.
> So here's an idea for a blockbuster film starring Mat _Daemon_: The Castrati Legacy.


Suggested songs for the soundtrack _The Castrati Legacy_
1. Sisters are doin' it for themselves
2. Gimme some lovin'
3. 
4.
etc


----------



## Dim7

TalkingHead said:


> In response to DeepR's post #2921:
> 
> If the emasculation took place_ post coitally_, it's possible. So I'm told.
> So here's an idea for a blockbuster film starring Mat _Daemon_: The Castrati Legacy.


The problem is that by the time the castrato-to-be would be able to make babies his voice would be probably lower already.


----------



## KenOC

Dim7 said:


> Poll: In your use of language, are the meanings of the words "yes" and "no" reversed?
> *Yes
> *No


Good one! This reminds me of what's called the hardest logic puzzle of all time.

Three gods A, B, and C are called, in no particular order, True, False, and Random. True always speaks truly, False always speaks falsely, but whether Random speaks truly or falsely is a completely random matter. Your task is to determine the identities of A, B, and C by asking three yes-no questions; each question must be put to exactly one god. The gods understand English, but will answer all questions in their own language, in which the words for yes and no are da and ja, in some order. You do not know which word means which.

What are your questions? (I myself have no idea...)


----------



## Guest

Headphone Hermit said:


> Suggested songs for the soundtrack _The Castrati Legacy_
> 1. Sisters are doin' it for themselves
> 2. Gimme some lovin'
> 3.
> 4.
> etc


For N° 3 above: *Looking for love in all the wrong places*.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> The problem is that by the time the castrato-to-be would be able to make babies *his voice would be probably lower already*.


Good point, never thought of that. You've got it covered, Dim7 !


----------



## MoonlightSonata

KenOC said:


> Good one! This reminds me of what's called the hardest logic puzzle of all time.
> 
> Three gods A, B, and C are called, in no particular order, True, False, and Random. True always speaks truly, False always speaks falsely, but whether Random speaks truly or falsely is a completely random matter. Your task is to determine the identities of A, B, and C by asking three yes-no questions; each question must be put to exactly one god. The gods understand English, but will answer all questions in their own language, in which the words for yes and no are da and ja, in some order. You do not know which word means which.
> 
> What are your questions? (I myself have no idea...)


Wikipedia has the solution.. I didn't understand a word of it myself....


----------



## KenOC

MoonlightSonata said:


> Wikipedia has the solution.. I didn't understand a word of it myself....


There was a time when I might have understood Wikipedia's solution. Alas, no longer.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Am I a bad person for having more posts on Stupid Thread ideas than any other thread?


----------



## hpowders

Which non-Impressionist composers have made the most Impression on you.
Impress me!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Am I a bad person for having more posts on Stupid Thread ideas than any other thread?


I have 13,276 posts on "What's Happening In Your Life?"and none of them counted. At least here....


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dear Mods,
I am applying to be the Grand High Chief Administrator of this website.
I would ask for just a modest salary of $500,000 per year and complete control over the whole website.
Please consider my application.


----------



## hpowders

I would settle just to be the Ruler of the Queen's Navee.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

KenOC said:


> Good one! This reminds me of what's called the hardest logic puzzle of all time.
> 
> Three gods A, B, and C are called, in no particular order, True, False, and Random. True always speaks truly, False always speaks falsely, but whether Random speaks truly or falsely is a completely random matter. Your task is to determine the identities of A, B, and C by asking three yes-no questions; each question must be put to exactly one god. The gods understand English, but will answer all questions in their own language, in which the words for yes and no are da and ja, in some order. You do not know which word means which.
> 
> What are your questions? (I myself have no idea...)


Ken, this is a great question. I don't know the answer, and I don't want to peek at wikipedia. I would like to see how far I can get on it though.

I'm thinking an approach along the lines of asking god 1 (you don't know if this is A, B, or C of course) something along the lines of "does god 2 tell the truth?" or (maybe better) "do both god 2 and 3 tell me the truth?" or "do both god 2 and god 3 either both tell me the truth or both tell me a lie?"

The problem is... if I asked "will god 2 tell the truth?" to god 1 and god 1 happened to be A and god 2 happened to be C, then what would god 1 answer? Would he say: "I don't know" (because whenever you ask god C a question, the truthness or falseness of the answer is always random)? Could you clarify the question further Ken? Would god A have to say "I don't know" if asked about god C?

And what would god B (the liar) say if asked about god C? Technically, god B couldn't say either "god C would tell the truth" or "god C would tell a lie" because both of those statements have the unfortunate possibility of being true, and god B isn't allowed to speak the truth. God B also can't say "I don't know" because that's the truth also. What could God B possibly say (perhaps "I do know, but I'm not telling you" because that is the only thing that's guaranteed to be a lie?)

Maybe the only way this question makes sense is if God C is pre-determined to either be true or false, and both god A and god B know about god C's disposition beforehand. Or maybe god A and god B don't know god C's disposition beforehand?


----------



## Mahlerian

MoonlightSonata said:


> Dear Mods,
> I am applying to be the Grand High Chief Administrator of this website.
> I would ask for just a modest salary of $500,000 per year and complete control over the whole website.
> Please consider my application.


Dear MoonlightSonata,

Your application has been accepted and filed under _Important_.
We will get back to you at the first opportunity, seeing as you are eminently qualified and present a reasonable offer.
Until the position you request is created, feel free to take up the unofficial, unpaid position of Grand High Chief Custodian, which we are sure will suit a man of such talents as your own.

- The Moderation Team


----------



## KenOC

SeptimalTritone said:


> Ken, this is a great question. I don't know the answer, and I don't want to peek at wikipedia. I would like to see how far I can get on it though.


I really have no idea on this one. You can warm up by checking out the "It's a puzzle!" thread in the Community Forum, which starts with a similar puzzle of the same sort, but far simpler.


----------



## Dim7

*More refined like system*

I think we all know that a 'like' can mean many things - too many things perhaps. Isn't it time to have different 'like' buttons for all these meanings? For example:

Condescending, pat-on-the-head sort of 'like'

Polite/obligatory/not-very-sincere 'like'

Buttering up kind of 'like', for moderators or your TC superiors for example

'Pity' like, for example someone tries to say something funny and you like the post just because no one else has liked the post in several days you feel sorry for the wannabe-comedian

"Don't get me wrong, I still despite the poster, this post in particular just happens to be less objectionable than usual for him" -like

"I like the way you made a total idiot out of yourself with this post" -like

Random 'like' for absolutely no reason

"Clicked accidentally" type of 'like'


----------



## Skilmarilion

*What was Bruckner's favourite haircut?*
*
- Mohawk (1871 original version)
- Buzzcut (1864 Haas edition)
- Cornrows (1888 Nowak revised edition)
- Ponytail (1890, revised edition)
- Complete bald ("Die nullte")
- Combover (unfinished)
- Mullet (Sehr Feierlich)

* please note, this poll conveniently ignores the fact that Bruckner seems to never have had any hair anyway.


----------



## Dim7

Skilmarilion said:


> * please note, this poll conveniently ignores the fact that Bruckner seems to never have had any hair anyway.


http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_Bruckner#mediaviewer/File:AntonBruckner.jpeg


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_Bruckner#mediaviewer/File:AntonBruckner.jpeg


Nah, that's a wig.


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> I think we all know that a 'like' can mean many things - too many things perhaps. Isn't it time to have different 'like' buttons for all these meanings? For example:
> 
> Condescending, pat-on-the-head sort of 'like'
> 
> Polite/obligatory/not-very-sincere 'like'
> 
> Buttering up kind of 'like', for moderators or your TC superiors for example
> 
> 'Pity' like, for example someone tries to say something funny and you like the post just because no one else has liked the post in several days you feel sorry for the wannabe-comedian
> 
> "Don't get me wrong, I still despite the poster, this post in particular just happens to be less objectionable than usual for him" -like
> 
> "I like the way you made a total idiot out of yourself with this post" -like
> 
> Random 'like' for absolutely no reason
> 
> "Clicked accidentally" type of 'like'


I voted *Random 'like' for absolutely no reason*.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I think we all know that a 'like' can mean many things - too many things perhaps. Isn't it time to have different 'like' buttons for all these meanings?


I agree; and so in that spirit: I liked your post due to attempting to erase a greasy mark on my smartphone screen.


----------



## hpowders

I'm a freshman composing student at Curtis. I need help in how to delete a grace note inserted between two crotchets played at the same pitch.


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> I'm a freshman composing student at Curtis. I need help in how to delete a grace note inserted between two crotchets played at the same pitch.


All grace notes should be deleted from classical music entirely!

It's very annoying at concerts, when it sounds like the performer slips with his finger on the piano and you immediately start booing loudly, and then the audience members next to you yell to you, between face slaps, that it was just a grace note. How should I have known?! Thanks a lot, Mr Composer!


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> All grace notes should be deleted from classical music entirely!
> 
> It's very annoying at concerts, when it sounds like the performer slips with his finger on the piano and you immediately start booing loudly, and then the audience members next to you yell to you, between face slaps, that it was just a grace note. How should I have known?! Thanks a lot, Mr Composer!


Rather gracefully handled! :tiphat:


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> All grace notes should be deleted from classical music entirely!
> 
> It's very annoying at concerts, when it sounds like the performer slips with his finger on the piano and you immediately start booing loudly, and then the audience members next to you yell to you, between face slaps, that it was just a grace note. How should I have known?! Thanks a lot, Mr Composer!


IMHO, grace notes are okay as long as the performer announces loudly before each of them that he's going to play a grace note.


----------



## hpowders

What are Mozart's 10 worst compositions? I have limited funds, so I plan on eliminating the 10 worst and buying the rest of Mozart's music.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Every time a thread is created about some subject, an opposite thread should be created automatically. A sushi thread should give rise to a non-sushi thread, for those who want to discuss anything except sushi. An Edward Elgar thread should immediately be accompanied by a non-Edward Elgar thread. After all, everyone is not interested in everything. Also, even mentioning Edward Elgar in the non-Edward Elgar thread should lead to infraction points and a temporary ban.


Like the Bizzaro World? I like it!


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> What are Mozart's 10 worst compositions? I have limited funds, so I plan on eliminating the 10 worst and buying the rest of Mozart's music.


Time travel to any year from 1720 to 1755 and eliminate Leopold Mozart, if you really want to be frugal. Then you will indirectly eliminate Mozart and all of his works so there won't be any of them for you to waste your money on. Eliminating Mozart directly won't work because according to latest historical research he began to compose immediately in the womb. Precocious bstrd wasn't he...


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Like the Bizzaro World? I like it!


There's one thing left to solve, though. If I hate sushi and Edward Elgar, there is still no thread that is safe for me, since people could discuss Edward Elgar in the non-sushi thread and sushi in the non-Edward Elgar thread.


----------



## Albert7

A James Bond movie featuring the lead opponent named Wagner and the Bond girl named Sibelius.


----------



## Albert7

TresPicos said:


> There's one thing left to solve, though. If I hate sushi and Edward Elgar, there is still no thread that is safe for me, since people could discuss Edward Elgar in the non-sushi thread and sushi in the non-Edward Elgar thread.


Or what about eating sushi with Elgar?


----------



## Albert7

Forensic analysis on Haydn's beer mug during a dinner theater party.


----------



## hpowders

I loaned 1/3 of my CD collection to a TC member. I think he found out I have a lot more than that. Can he come after me legally for the other CDs? I'm new here and don't want any trouble.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Good Thread Ideas (these _must not_ be posted, as this is a purely theoretical excercise)


----------



## SimonNZ

Thread: *Help! How Do I Start A New Thread?*


----------



## Celloman

SimonNZ said:


> Thread: *Help! How Do I Start A New Thread?*


I would recommend a good psychiatrist...


----------



## Becca

Dim7 said:


> Time travel to any year from 1720 to 1755 and eliminate Leopold Mozart, if you really want to be frugal. Then you will indirectly eliminate Mozart and all of his works so there won't be any of them for you to waste your money on. Eliminating Mozart directly won't work because according to latest historical research he began to compose immediately in the womb. Precocious bstrd wasn't he...


You would also need to get rid of all of the composers whose works are attributed to Mozart.


----------



## SimonNZ

Skilmarilion said:


> *What was Bruckner's favourite haircut?**


*
*

What Was The Most Outrageous / Unflattering Berlioz Hairdo?

-

"Sopranos doping on helium to reach high Cs: silenced witnesses finally speak out"


----------



## hpowders

Is the term "orchestral song" even literally possible? Discuss without rancor please.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"A Discussion of Bruckner's Symphony 0000000000000000000000"


----------



## Dim7

Could the history of music have happened backwards, like cavemen first inventing dodecaphony and eventually some crazy modernists shocking conservative audiences with major triads and scales?

Your favorite accidentally composed pieces


----------



## Polyphemus

Skilmarilion said:


> *What was Bruckner's favourite haircut?*
> *
> - Mohawk (1871 original version)
> - Buzzcut (1864 Haas edition)
> - Cornrows (1888 Nowak revised edition)
> - Ponytail (1890, revised edition)
> - Complete bald ("Die nullte")
> - Combover (unfinished)
> - Mullet (Sehr Feierlich)
> 
> * please note, this poll conveniently ignores the fact that Bruckner seems to never have had any hair anyway.


Christmas Pudding Bowl.


----------



## Polyphemus

albertfallickwang said:


> Or what about eating sushi with Elgar?


I don't think Elgar would taste nice.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Is the term "orchestral song" even literally possible? Discuss without rancor please.


As realistic as the term honest politician I suppose. Though the 'without rancour' provision should be in the stupid ideas thread (oops)


----------



## hpowders

Are there any classical pieces you have recently discovered that you do not wish to hear?
Limit your selections to 10 please.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Are there any classical pieces you have recently discovered that you do not wish to hear?
> Limit your selections to 10 please.


So far none.

Another pointless thread... is pointless LOL.


----------



## Becca

Who is the greater singer, Maria Malibran or Giuditta Pasta? Personal observations only please.


----------



## Dim7

*What?!?!?!*

I don't get it


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is there enough discussion about 4'33''?

1. .............
2. *cough* *sneeze* *rustle* *snore*


----------



## Celloman

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Is there enough discussion about 4'33''?
> 
> 1. .............
> 2. *cough* *sneeze* *rustle* *snore*


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Hi TC, this is my first post, so go easy on me. 

I'm new to classical music, but I love reading before I listen, about the olden days when it was all written. I'm starting with the "symphonies" of Bruckner.

Now, Bruckner decided his "symphony" in D minor of 1869 was "gilt nicht". He wrote on the front page "annuliert" and marked it with the symbol "∅". The symphony got the nickname Die Nullte.

OK, so my German isn't very good, but "gilt nicht" would be something like 'nothing there' and "annuliert" would be 'taken away', wouldn't it? Die nullte is "The nothingth", so would I be right in thinking that this was a song written for castrati singers, only they couldn't advertise that openly, of course? So that's why he used the symbol "∅", right?

I know they used them in the olden days but it does seem really, really harsh!


----------



## Dim7

Discuss in depth about composers you don't really care about one way or the other


----------



## CBD

Did Mozart really kill Salieri?

Beethoven: Was his deafness nothing but a publicity stunt?

Hello, everyone! A friend of mine told me about this piece that someone "wrote" that is - get this - literally just silence! That's it! Can you believe it?! How can you even call that a piece?! Anyway, have any of you heard of this "piece" before, and what do you guys think of it?


----------



## Albert7

A movie with duration of 4' 33" with 4' 33" soundtrack.


----------



## Dim7

Hey, I'm writing my doctoral dissertation about Nietzsche's Also Sprach Zarathustra but feel too lazy to actually read the book. Is it enough to just listen to the tone poem version of the book by Richard Strauss ? Actually, the tone poem is quite long, I wonder if the famous intro will do.


----------



## Albert7

Carl Sagan, in his work The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark said: "There are naive questions, tedious questions, ill-phrased questions, questions put after inadequate self-criticism. But every question is a cry to understand the world. There is no such thing as a dumb question."


----------



## Taggart

albertfallickwang said:


> A movie with duration of 4' 33" with 4' 33" soundtrack.


Starring C Chaplin or B Keaton?


----------



## Ingélou

albertfallickwang said:


> Carl Sagan, in his work The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark said: "There are naive questions, tedious questions, ill-phrased questions, questions put after inadequate self-criticism. But every question is a cry to understand the world. There is no such thing as a *dumb* question."


There is if I don't speak it out loud!


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> Hey, I'm writing my doctoral dissertation about Nietzsche's Also Sprach Zarathustra but feel too lazy to actually read the book. Is it enough to just listen to the tone poem version of the book by Richard Strauss ? Actually, the tone poem is quite long, I wonder if the famous intro will do.


I've always found the Ladybird series is quite good.


----------



## Guest

Ringtones from Opus clavicembalisticum:

Which is YOUR favourite?


----------



## Guest

Bad Tempered Thread Notification.

Where’s this in my control panel please?
I haven’t the time to check everything that gets posted and I’m concerned I may be missing out on where the current action is.

Thanks!


----------



## Polyphemus

albertfallickwang said:


> Carl Sagan, in his work The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark said: "There are naive questions, tedious questions, ill-phrased questions, questions put after inadequate self-criticism. But every question is a cry to understand the world. There is no such thing as a dumb question."


Wanna bet. (I know 15 letters sorry Taggart & Krummhorn)


----------



## MagneticGhost

There is no such thing as a dumb question - just a dumb questioner!(?)
....perhaps. Discuss


----------



## Dim7

200th page. Congratulations, Stupid Thread Ideas :tiphat:


----------



## Skilmarilion

Dim7 said:


> Hey, I'm writing my doctoral dissertation about Nietzsche's Also Sprach Zarathustra but feel too lazy to actually read the book. Is it enough to just listen to the tone poem version of the book by Richard Strauss ? Actually, the tone poem is quite long, I wonder if the famous intro will do.


The famous intro is by Ligeti.


----------



## Celloman

The Mannheim Steamroller and Trans-Siberian Orchestra Appreciation Thread


----------



## Skilmarilion

Dear men and women,

I am a great composer. I have composed and recorded on disk a set of sublime avant-garde masterworks for your listening pleasure.

No need to thank me, but you can thank me anyway.

*Disc 1*

Concerto for orchestra and orchestra

Double Concerto for Dog, Dog muzzle and orchestra

Concerto for Bagpipe and Scottish dude

Set of 4 Violin concerti, _"The Contest Between Atonality and Actual Music"_

Concerto for wordless hpowders soliloquy and orchestra

*Disc 2*

Arabesque for solo vacuum cleaner

Partita for Lang Lang facial expressions and bassoon

Introduction and Allegro Appassionato for forklift and string trio

Fantasia on an unknown theme by _Unknown_

Rondo-Burleske for Terry Riley's beard and jackhammer


----------



## Skilmarilion

More good news:

I have quickly written some more works of unimaginable genius, inspired by some great minimalist composers.

Inspired by Adams: *Obama in Honolulu*

Inspired by Reich: _*Music for 700,000 musicians*_

Inspired by Riley: _*In E-flat minor*_

Inspired by Glass: _*Music in 6.24 Billion Parts*_


----------



## Albert7

One Bad-Tempered Klavier Book 3 being delivered in a bonus disc on all DG copies of Well-Tempered Klaviers.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Hey TC members!

Do any of you think a *'Stupid Thread Ideas'* thread would have any 'legs' here? I'm just asking, because a friend told me that there's something similar on his favourite forum, but I said I wasn't sure it would appeal to you serious, intellectual classical music fan types!

Waddya think, guys?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Skilmarilion said:


> Dear men and women,
> 
> I am a great composer. I have composed and recorded on disk a set of sublime avant-garde masterworks for your listening pleasure.
> 
> No need to thank me, but you can thank me anyway.
> 
> *Disc 1*
> 
> Concerto for orchestra and orchestra
> 
> Double Concerto for Dog, Dog muzzle and orchestra
> 
> Concerto for Bagpipe and Scottish dude
> 
> Set of 4 Violin concerti, _"The Contest Between Atonality and Actual Music"_
> 
> Concerto for wordless hpowders soliloquy and orchestra
> 
> *Disc 2*
> 
> Arabesque for solo vacuum cleaner
> 
> Partita for Lang Lang facial expressions and bassoon
> 
> Introduction and Allegro Appassionato for forklift and string trio
> 
> Fantasia on an unknown theme by _Unknown_
> 
> Rondo-Burleske for Terry Riley's beard and jackhammer


Bravo! Bravo!

Perhaps you would like to hear my latest work, _Concerto for 4'33'' and Angry Mob_.


----------



## Dim7

TurnaboutVox said:


> Hey TC members!
> 
> Do any of you think a *'Stupid Thread Ideas'* thread would have any 'legs' here? I'm just asking, because a friend told me that there's something similar on his favourite forum, but I said I wasn't sure it would appeal to you serious, intellectual classical music fan types!
> 
> Waddya think, guys?


I don't know, you probably should ask your question in the "Stupid Thread Ideas" thread.


----------



## Albert7

A Trio for Corn Dog, Horn Dog, and Post Horn Dog by Mozart rediscovered.


----------



## Blancrocher

Hey everybody! I've been reading the Stupid Thread Ideas thread, and at the risk of offending some of you I have to say: it's not _that_ stupid. So here it is: the Stupider Thread Ideas thread. For those ideas you were too embarrassed to post, even in the stupidest (till now) thread on the forum.


----------



## Albert7

Blancrocher said:


> Hey everybody! I've been reading the Stupid Thread Ideas thread, and at the risk of offending some of you I have to say: it's not _that_ stupid. So here it is: the Stupider Thread Ideas thread. For those ideas you were too embarrassed to post, even in the stupidest (till now) thread on the forum.


A thread like that would causes us major infractions. In fact, it would be filthier than Andrew Dice Clay.


----------



## Guest

Deutscher: Postpostpostmetapostmodernist discussion.


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> Hey everybody! I've been reading the Stupid Thread Ideas thread, and at the risk of offending some of you I have to say: it's not _that_ stupid. So here it is: the Stupider Thread Ideas thread. For those ideas you were too embarrassed to post, even in the stupidest (till now) thread on the forum.


I reject the need for "Stupider Thread Ideas" thread but you may have a point when you say that the ideas are not quite stupid enough. To maintain some minimum standards, I suggest we develop some kind of intelligence test for thread ideas and pass only those that score low enough. Or should we just do a intelligence test (or stupidity test if you will) for each thread idea contributor and let only those who pass (or should I say flunk) the test to post in this thread.


----------



## Dim7

*How to understand serialism*

Lot of people complain about how difficult it is to undestand dodecaphonic/serial/12-tone music. It is often said that you can't just "listen to" it normally but to really "get it" you must somehow learn to listen to it in a completely different manner.

I have finally found the method: you must change your listening position according to whether the tone row is played in its prime, inverted, retrograde or retrograde-inverted form. When the prime form is played you just face directly towards the speakers/performers normally, but in the case of inverted form you must stand on your head/hands (or hang from somewhere upside down) and when the retrograde is played you must have your back towards where the music is coming from and when the tone form is in its retograde-inverted form you must obviously stand on your head/hands with your back towards the source of music.

It can be pretty challenging especially when the tonerow changes quickly between inverted and non-inverted forms but I guarantee it's worth the pain and the physical risks. I just wonder why didn't Schoenberg bother to tell everyone this is the way to listen to his music. I guess it was just so obvious to him that it didn't occur to him.


----------



## hpowders

Has there ever been a study to see of there is a positive correlation between most thanked Talk Classical posters and most substantial contributing posters? If so, where is it published?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Schoenberg for Babies: the Disc to Scar your Child for Life


----------



## Posie

I am considering adopting a pit bull. Do any of you think that will balance out the stigma associated with my interest in classical music?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

marinasabina said:


> I am considering adopting a pit bull. Do any of you think that will balance out the stigma associated with my interest in classical music?


Only if it has a studded collar.


----------



## Taggart

marinasabina said:


> I am considering adopting a pit bull. Do any of you think that will balance out the stigma associated with my interest in classical music?


Depends on its Bach!


----------



## CBD

MoonlightSonata said:


> Schoenberg for Babies: the Disc to Scar your Child for Life


Ustvolskaya for Babies: You thought _normal_ teen angst was bad....


----------



## omega

Philip Glass' Trilogy (_Einstein on the Beach - Satyagraha - Akhnaten_): The new Ring? Should it be performed at Bayreuth to give the festival a less conservative image?
Reference to various representations are welcome.


----------



## Skilmarilion

omega said:


> Philip Glass' Trilogy (_Einstein on the Beach - Satyagraha - Akhnaten_): The new Ring? Should it be performed at Bayreuth to give the festival a less conservative image?
> Reference to various representations are welcome.


Yes very good idea.

Only trouble is, the Bayreuthians may be confused with regards to the extremely short running time of the three operas together (circa 10 hours vs. 19 for Wagner's ring).

Perhaps after the final night's performance of _Akhnaten_, the Philip Glass ensemble would be kind enough to encore _Music in Twelve Parts_ ... 3 times in a row.


----------



## Dim7

What happens in your death? (For dead people, obviously)


----------



## hpowders

I'm a pseudo-intellectual elitist wishing to meet others like me. Is TC good for that?


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> I'm a pseudo-intellectual elitist wishing to meet others like me. Is TC good for that?


I'm a pseudo-pseudointellectual. I use complicated and pretentious language to to trick others into thinking I'm just somebody not very smart who wants to give an impression of an intelligent person, while in reality I _am_ actually very smart.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> I'm a pseudo-pseudointellectual. I use complicated and pretentious language to to trick others into thinking I'm just somebody not very smart who wants to give an impression of an intelligent person, while in reality I _am_ actually very smart.


But that sounds a bit too phony for me!


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> (For dead people, obviously)


That bit wasn't obvious to me. Should I be concerned?


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> That bit wasn't obvious to me. Should I be concerned?


As long as you as a living person (assuming you are, not that it's really obvious) don't go posting in that thread not intended for you, there's nothing to be concerned about.


----------



## Dim7

I'm hearing catchy, hummable tunes when I listen to Schoenberg's Piano Concerto. Is there something wrong with me? Should I go see a psychiatrist? Am I schizophrenic?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> I'm hearing catchy, hummable tunes when I listen to Schoenberg's Piano Concerto. Is there something wrong with me? Should I go see a psychiatrist? Am I schizophrenic?


No! The opening is a hauntingly beautiful waltz. Very hummable.

Schizophrenic is still better than pseudo-intellectual. The former is treatable.


----------



## hpowders

marinasabina said:


> I am considering adopting a pit bull. Do any of you think that will balance out the stigma associated with my interest in classical music?


Sounds perfect! It's the best way to get on Judge Judy too! (a popular television program in the US). There are more cases of Pit Bull bitings on her show than any other case....except perhaps fights at the record store over the latest Lang Lang CD release by the masses.


----------



## Posie

hpowders said:


> Sounds perfect! It's the best way to get on Judge Judy too! (a popular television program in the US). There are more cases of Pit Bull bitings on her show than any other case....except perhaps fights at the record store over the latest Lang Lang CD release by the masses.


He'll pee on her leg, and I'll tell her it's raining.

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Pee-Leg-...=don't+pee+on+my+leg+and+tell+me+it's+raining

A Jack Russell terrier bite, even one that draws blood, would not get nearly as many ratings. That's another thread for another time.


----------



## TresPicos

marinasabina said:


> A Jack Russell terrier bite, even one that draws blood, would not get nearly as many ratings. That's another thread for another time.


Your Top 10 Jack Russell Terrier Bites?


----------



## Dim7

In each post, shouldn't it clearly be stated under the username whether the poster is in the team Avant-Garde or the team Conservative? I don't want to accidentally like posts made by the wrong people, agree with them in anything or be nice to them.


----------



## Posie

Dim7 said:


> In each post, shouldn't it clearly be stated under the username whether the poster is in the team Avant-Garde or the team Conservative? I don't want to accidentally like posts made by the wrong people, agree with them in anything or be nice to them.


Can I be a moderate?


----------



## Dim7

marinasabina said:


> Can I be a moderate?


Why are you making a reasonable question? Look at the thread title


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> In each post, shouldn't it clearly be stated under the username whether the poster is in the team Avant-Garde or the team Conservative? I don't want to accidentally like posts made by the wrong people, agree with them in anything or be nice to them.


Of course! And we'll need more information too: how many infraction points they have (so we know how much they're likely to respond to baiting), how intellectual they are, average length of post, etc


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> I'm hearing catchy, hummable tunes when I listen to Schoenberg's Piano Concerto. Is there something wrong with me? Should I go see a psychiatrist? Am I schizophrenic?


Yes, but even if you didn't, you should be examined by a psychiatrist for listening to Schoenberg in the first place, assuming you did it out of your own volition.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Of course! And we'll need more information too: how many infraction points they have (so we know how much they're likely to respond to baiting), how intellectual they are, average length of post, etc


I'm also not satisfied how the "current activity" is limited to forum activity. Isn't there a way to spy on the real lives of the forum members?


----------



## arpeggio

Dim7 said:


> I'm also not satisfied how the "current activity" is limited to forum activity. Isn't there a way to spy on the real lives of the forum members?


Contact Edward Snowden.


----------



## Celloman

Copyright Violation Thread: Post all of your stolen music here! Plagiarism is welcome!


----------



## TresPicos

arpeggio said:


> Contact Edward Snowden.


Edward Snowden - hero or traitor? Please keep the discussion polite and constructive.


----------



## Dim7

Edward Snowden - hero or traitor? Please keep the discussion polite and constructive. 

HAHA! I plagiarized another stupid thread idea, nobody has done that before!


----------



## Haydn man

Deeper questions in classical music, a thread for serious debate and philosophic thoughts
This weeks question Who was Baroque?
Next week When is Beethoven?

Replies must be at least 250 words or will be deleted as trivial


----------



## millionrainbows

TresPicos said:


> Edward Snowden - hero or traitor? Please keep the discussion polite and constructive.


George Rochberg- Hero or Traitor?


----------



## millionrainbows

Headline: *Two Classically-Oriented Teenagers Die in Bizarre Suicide Pact; Tchaikovsky's Sixth Symphony Blamed as Impetus*

Public reaction:_ "I told you that damn Tchaikovsky was way too depressing for teenagers! They should have been listening to Iron Maiden! We need to start putting warning labels on stuff like this!"_


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 10 Beethoven Cello Concerti
Top 50 Mozart Symphonies
TC Top Recommended 200+ Haydn Symphonies
Top 5 Bach operas
Top 10 Well-Known Pachelbel Works that Aren't Canons


----------



## Becca

Dim7 said:


> I feel very... recursive.


There was a young coder of Erse
Who could never decide which was worse
To stamp and to scream?
To blame the machine?
Or to endlessly loop and re-curse.


----------



## Dim7

Lots of stupid threads recently. Before starting each thread, shouldn't it required to post a thread in which it would be discussed whether starting the thread in question would be a good idea? Maybe a poll about it?


----------



## Dim7

Becca said:


> There was a young coder of Erse
> Who could never decide which was worse
> To stamp and to scream?
> To blame the machine?
> Or to endlessly loop and re-curse.


Once upon a time, there was a man who told a story about recursion, in which a man told a story about recursion, in which a man told a story about recursion, in which...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Once upon a time, there was a man who told a story about recursion, in which a man told a story about recursion, in which a man told a story about recursion, in which...


What happens at the end?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> What happens at the end?


Nobody knows. There's rumors that after the infinite loop there's a really interesting plot twist though, but unfortunately it is impossible to get there.



millionrainbows said:


> Headline: *Two Classically-Oriented Teenagers Die in Bizarre Suicide Pact; Tchaikovsky's Sixth Symphony Blamed as Impetus*
> 
> Public reaction:_ "I told you that damn Tchaikovsky was way too depressing for teenagers! They should have been listening to Iron Maiden! We need to start putting warning labels on stuff like this!"_


Not that stupid, I find a lot of Iron Maiden somewhat uplifting.


----------



## Dim7

Question an Answer with an Answer

Question your own existence (in the non-existent philosophy subforum)

Is classical music dead or is Death classical music?

Retrogay melodies (happy nostalgic major key melodies of older pop songs) (Music theory subforum)


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> Question an Answer with an Answer
> 
> Question your own existence (in the non-existent philosophy subforum)
> 
> Is classical music dead or is Death classical music?
> 
> Retrogay melodies (happy nostalgic major key melodies of older pop songs)


Yummy Yummy Yummy
I've a pain in my tummy............


----------



## Celloman

We all know that Karl Jenkins is a much greater composer than Mozart. Why is Mozart regarded more highly by the common rabble and how can we reverse this horrible trend?


----------



## Albert7

Invention of the Bartok and jelly sandwich.


----------



## Dim7

Borderline Stupid Thread Ideas: See what kind of thread ideas you can come up with that are kinda pointless and not very good but not absurd or stupid enough to be actually funny. 

Average Intelligence Thread Ideas: Post your normal, ok, decent but not great thread ideas

Too Intelligent Thread Ideas: Post thread ideas that are too intelligent for normal non-genius people to handle

Scary Thread Ideas

"....Thread Ideas" -thread ideas


----------



## MoonlightSonata

That Baroque stuff - it's all so boring. It would have been so much more fun if the period had instead been the "absurdist". 
I mean, who wouldn't rather smear a viola da gamba with jam than play it, or rather throw small marine animals at a harpsichord than listen to it?


----------



## hpowders

Can one simply like a composer's music without the extremes of loving and hating? I'm new here and like Mozart's music. I n either love it or hate it. Is this wrong? I'm new here and don't want to be different.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> *That Baroque stuff - it's all so boring*. It would have been so much more fun if the period had instead been the "absurdist".
> I mean, who wouldn't rather smear a viola da gamba with jam than play it, or rather throw small marine animals at a harpsichord than listen to it?


Ha! Ha! Tell that to Ingelou!! Then, DUCK!!!! :lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

*The Thank The Stupid Thread Ideas Posters' Thread:
*
Post #1: I've been lurking on TC for 7 months and Stupid Thread Ideas is the only thread that stimulates me.

I just want to say thank you to MoonlightSonata, Dim7 and all the other regular creative posters here who have finally given some meaning to my life.

I will be getting out of prison in around 11.5 years and hope to meet each and every one of you to thank you personally for helping me pass the time so delightfully.

Sincerely,

Charles Manson


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me excellent Italian insults and profanities in case I meet Ludovico Einaudi.

Recommend me moving photos of Ludovico Einaudi where he doesn't look like Larry David.

Recommend me works by Ludovico Einaudi like Le Onde and his scripts for Seinfeld.

Recommend me other great non-geniuses like Ludovico Einaudi?


----------



## Guest

Where will I find the most uplifting melodies in electroacoustic music?


----------



## omega

Hello, I am a modern minimalist composer and a great admiror of Glass and Cage. Here is my new minimalist composition; it is the richest and the most complex I've ever written. Could you please help me, I want to arrange it for a Mahler-size orchestra.








If you know a famous concert pianist, you may send him this score.

If you are interested by others of my works (_Variations on 4'33''_, _Music For Eighteen And A Half Musicians_), contact me via PM.


----------



## Dim7

I noticed that in the "currently active users" list all of my TC friends have a plus sign after their username. But friends of other members don't have that. This is obviously because it is such an honor to be an official TC friend of Dim7 that it must be indicated by this plus sign, right?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> I noticed that in the "currently active users" list all of my TC friends have a plus sign after their username. But friends of other members don't have that. This is obviously because it is such an honor to be an official TC friend of Dim7 that it must be indicated by this plus sign, right?


WHAT??? My friends have a minus sign after their names!


----------



## TresPicos

Dull things vs even duller things - which do you prefer?


----------



## hpowders

I prefer neither and go right to Stupid Thread Ideas for cerebral stimulation.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Which do you prefer, preferring one of two options over another or not preferring either?


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Can one simply like a composer's music without the extremes of loving and hating? I'm new here and like Mozart's music. I n either love it or hate it. Is this wrong? I'm new here and don't want to be different.


What you do in your own home is your own business, of course.

When you visit Internet forums, however, it is wise to respect both the terms of service of the forum in question, and the universal "netiquette" of the Internet. In the specific case you are asking about, those two sets of rules will actually guide you quite neatly.

According to the ToS here at TC, you can hate a composer, but you cannot be rude to those who love him. This will create some kind of "ceiling" for the intensity of your posts. Netiquette, on the other hand, will create a corresponding "floor". On the Internet, if you like something, you love it, and if you dislike it or feel indifferent towards it, you hate it. Easy, isn't it?

So, get with the program, Mozart lover!


----------



## Posie

I want to have children someday. Would it be a bad idea to listen to the Rite of Spring while I'm pregnant?


----------



## millionrainbows

Celloman said:


> We all know that Karl Jenkins is a much greater composer than Mozart. Why is Mozart regarded more highly by the common rabble and how can we reverse this horrible trend?


What group did Mozart used to be in?


----------



## millionrainbows

Horribly dissonant and noisy music: Would you rather justify your attraction to it in terms of its intellectual content, or by a purely sensual fascination with ugliness?

American Version of Borderline Stupid Thread Ideas: Contemporary Mexican and Canadian Composers Explored. 

After all, we're not all in America, are we? Phht!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why can't I marry my cello?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why can't I marry my cello?


Because then people will demand to marry their pets, and then people will demand to marry people of opposite gender


----------



## Itullian

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why can't I marry my cello?


If it's the same sex you probably can.


----------



## TresPicos

*Your psychic powers?*

I'm a firm believer in psychic powers, partly because I have one myself. I didn't discover it until well into my thirties, and it is intermittent rather than permanent, but I have tried to hone it as much as possible, because with great powers comes great responsibility. I haven't really told anyone about it before, but here goes.

Let's say I'm in a supermarket, almost void of customers. I push my grocery cart into a vast fruit and vegetable department, where I need to get some tomatoes. Now I have to leave my grocery cart somewhere while I pick the tomatoes. I can't leave it in the middle of an aisle, so I place it next to a bin with artichokes and walk back towards the tomatoes. Within seconds, another customer will then appear from nowhere, looking for artichokes, so I have to turn around and move my cart. If I had placed my cart next to the bananas, another customer would have appeared instead, looking for bananas.

Somehow, my placement of the grocery cart next to the artichokes apparently sends out some kind of mental signal which is then picked up by some other customer, who up until that point had hardly known what an artichoke is, but who will now crave artichokes!

I agree that my psychic power is not as flashy as telekinesis etc, but I would like to see it evolve into something useful. And like I said, it's intermittent, and I really can't control when it appears. It might only be like every fifth or tenth time that I visit a supermarket or any other place with carts.

Well, there it is. Anyone else got psychic powers? Can you read minds? Can you spontaneously combust? Let's hear your stories!


----------



## SimonNZ

Were the Berlin Philharmonic ever as soulful again after they cleaned up from their heroin addiction?


Robert Plant on the groupie antics of the Beaux Arts Trio: "I was shocked, shocked and disgusted!"


How modern composer avoid letting fame go to their heads.


----------



## Guest

The only reason Bach is famous is because he wore a wig.

I'm right, aren't I?


----------



## Guest

Where in Settings do I enable Liking my own posts?


----------



## SimonNZ

How many members of all-male orchestras are actually cross-dressing women?


----------



## Haydn man

TresPicos said:


> I'm a firm believer in psychic powers, partly because I have one myself. I didn't discover it until well into my thirties, and it is intermittent rather than permanent, but I have tried to hone it as much as possible, because with great powers comes great responsibility. I haven't really told anyone about it before, but here goes.
> 
> Let's say I'm in a supermarket, almost void of customers. I push my grocery cart into a vast fruit and vegetable department, where I need to get some tomatoes. Now I have to leave my grocery cart somewhere while I pick the tomatoes. I can't leave it in the middle of an aisle, so I place it next to a bin with artichokes and walk back towards the tomatoes. Within seconds, another customer will then appear from nowhere, looking for artichokes, so I have to turn around and move my cart. If I had placed my cart next to the bananas, another customer would have appeared instead, looking for bananas.
> 
> Somehow, my placement of the grocery cart next to the artichokes apparently sends out some kind of mental signal which is then picked up by some other customer, who up until that point had hardly known what an artichoke is, but who will now crave artichokes!
> 
> I agree that my psychic power is not as flashy as telekinesis etc, but I would like to see it evolve into something useful. And like I said, it's intermittent, and I really can't control when it appears. It might only be like every fifth or tenth time that I visit a supermarket or any other place with carts.
> 
> Well, there it is. Anyone else got psychic powers? Can you read minds? Can you spontaneously combust? Let's hear your stories!


I was once in a shop eating a Mars Bar and someone else came in and bought one!
How weird is that?


----------



## Haydn man

I notice Mozart works are very popular on TC especially those with a letter K and then a number following the name
Any other letters of the alphabet worth listening to?


----------



## SimonNZ

At what point in time does "C Is For Cookie" become Classical music?


----------



## pierrot

I can predict the future every time I see a lightning in the sky. But always I forget it when the weather comes back to normal.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why can't I marry my cello?


Both the cello and violin have G strings, so it's your call.

Just don't tune against your new spouse.


----------



## Dim7

*More diverse forms of punishment?*

Right now the way to punish misbehaving forum members is quite simplistic: banning, temporarily or permanently. Shouldn't there be something else?

For example if there's an interesting but naughty poster who we don't want to necessarily to stop posting but who needs some kind of punishment. Maybe we could bombard him with advertisement and pop-ups? And to let other people know he's being punished it would read under his username "Spammed (temporarily)" rather than the usual "Banned (temporarily)".

Or we could make his private messages public, take all his likes away, make him unable to receive likes, force him to use an embarrassing/stupid avatar/username... The possibilities are endless.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why can't I marry my cello?


Move to Germany and see the possibilities, MS...



> Married to the Berlin Wall: "The Best and Sexiest Wall Ever Existed!"


http://strangeharvest.com/married-to-the-berlin-wall-the-best-and-sexiest-wall-ever-existed


----------



## Dim7

Poll: How 'lkdfj' are you? You can define 'lkdfj' any way you want


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Your Top 100 Heckelphone Solos in Opera


----------



## Albert7

50 Dates with a Rhinemaiden.


----------



## omega

Dim7 said:


> Poll: How 'lkdfj' are you? You can define 'lkdfj' any way you want


If by 'Ikdfj' you mean 'Rfstt', then I am, but only on Mondays.


----------



## omega

albertfallickwang said:


> 50 Dates with a Rhinemaiden.


Fifty Shades of the Ring?

I definitely would not want to see this opera.


----------



## Taggart

omega said:


> Fifty Shades of the Ring?
> 
> I definitely would not want to see this opera.












Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Nah, the bondage stuff isn't Wagner, it's *Tolkien*.


----------



## Polyphemus

Taggart said:


> Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
> Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
> 
> One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them,
> One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
> 
> Nah, the bondage stuff isn't Wagner, it's *Tolkien*.


Well slap my *** and call me De Sade.


----------



## Polyphemus

Polyphemus said:


> Well slap my *** and call me De Sade.


Apologies to all concerned.


----------



## hpowders

It's Your Choice: Top Five Symphonies or Top Six Violin Concertos or Top Three Rumanian All Night Vigils or a new twist: Top Seven Medieval Madrigals Favored by Inquisition Torturers.


----------



## Taggart

hpowders said:


> It's Your Choice: Top Five Symphonies or Top Six Violin Concertos or Top Three Rumanian All Night Vigils or a new twist: Top Seven Medieval Madrigals Favored by Inquisition Torturers.


I thought Medieval Madrigals were an Inquisition Torture!


----------



## Polyphemus

Top 5 Wagner Operas used by Inquisition Torturers via Dim 7's Time Machine.


----------



## Dim7

Words A Order Thread In Random Write

Poll: Was it a good idea to post this poll?

Discuss either about apples OR Schenkerian analysis applied to dodecaphonic retrograde-inverted variations of Aboriginal folk melodies


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> Words A Order Thread In Random Write
> 
> Poll: Was it a good idea to post this poll?
> 
> Discuss either about apples OR Schenkerian analysis applied to dodecaphonic retrograde-inverted variations of Aboriginal folk melodies


As Nurse Ratchet would say "It's medication time"


----------



## hpowders

Taggart said:


> I thought Medieval Madrigals were an Inquisition Torture!


I can see some people saying that. The Inquisitors could have saved themselves some valuable time and physical exertion by simply playing some of those Madrigals on their primitive stereos within six feet of their helpless and much to be pitied victims.

I shudder just thinking about it. A devilishly sadistic torture!


----------



## Dim7

Three B's: Bach, Beethoven and Bieber


----------



## hpowders

omega said:


> Fifty Shades of the Ring?
> 
> I definitely would not want to see this opera.


Me neither!!! :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

SimonNZ said:


> Were the Berlin Philharmonic ever as soulful again after they cleaned up from their heroin addiction?


We'll never know, will we? We've stigmatized them now, and will never again recognize their existence. Just a bunch of junkies, as far as I'm concerned.


----------



## millionrainbows

omega said:


> Fifty Shades of the Ring?
> 
> I definitely would not want to see this opera.


*Opera News* article:

*Fifty Shades of the Ring: Behind the Aluminum Anodizing Process
*


----------



## millionrainbows

Bach, Beethoven, Brahms: Somebody Call a Barber!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Documentary: Bassoons in their Natural Habitat*

Observe as these fascinating instruments as they move around in search of food, watch them start a family, and, observe them as they go through the fascinating process of shedding their reeds.


----------



## hpowders

marinasabina said:


> I want to have children someday. Would it be a bad idea to listen to the Rite of Spring while I'm pregnant?


Nope! Your kids just might turn out to be extra fertile producing a lot of grandchildren for you some day.....

Or you can borrow my travel brochures and move to Pluto....probably the best option.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Observe as these fascinating instruments as they move around in search of food, watch them start a family, and, observe them as they go through the fascinating process of shedding their reeds.


Are instruments like toys in Toy Story in that they pretend to be inanimate when they know humans are watching them?


----------



## pierrot

'Is the dress white and gold or blue and black?'


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Which of these 3 kind of classical music listeners are you?

1.Staunch defender of tradition and objective, eternal standards of beauty

2.Open-minded, creative & forward-thinking enthusiasist of everything avant-garde

3.Cowardly, spineless, indecisive, unloyal "moderate" wimp who wants to be friends with everybody


----------



## Posie

omega said:


> Fifty Shades of the Ring?
> 
> I definitely would not want to see this opera.


Hier hier! The incest is enough without adding pedophilia to the mix.


----------



## Posie

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Which of these 3 kind of classical music listeners are you?
> 
> 1.Staunch defender of tradition and objective, eternal standards of beauty
> 
> 2.Open-minded, creative & forward-thinking enthusiasist of everything avant-garde
> 
> 3.Cowardly, spineless, indecisive, unloyal "moderate" wimp who wants to be friends with everybody


I am a spineless wimp, and I make no apologies. Like it or lump it.


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> Observe as these fascinating instruments as they move around in search of food, watch them start a family, and, observe them as they go through the fascinating process of shedding their reeds.


Aww, it's too bad that the little oboe got an injured leg and got eaten up by that tuba!


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> 3.Cowardly, spineless, indecisive, unloyal "moderate" wimp who wants to be friends with everybody


That must be what is called an 'anti-sociopath.'


----------



## TresPicos

Hello Moderators, 
Is there an easy way to just retract all the likes you've given here on TC, or do you need to go through them one by one and unlike each one? 'Cause there are thousands of posts that I don't like anymore.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Hello Moderators,
> Is there an easy way to just retract all the likes you've given here on TC, or do you need to go through them one by one and unlike each one? 'Cause there are thousands of posts that I don't like anymore.


Hello Moderators,
Is there an easy way to like all the posts here on TC and automatically like new posts as they are posted, or do you need to go through them one by one and like each one? 'Cause I want to become the liker number one on this forum.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

millionrainbows said:


> Aww, it's too bad that the little oboe got an injured leg and got eaten up by that tuba!


I almost cried when the little baby piccolo died


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Your 100 Favourite Hurdy-Gurdy Concerti


----------



## Albert7

More inchworms dancing to Shostabear's theme song.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

albertfallickwang said:


> More inchworms dancing to Shostabear's theme song.


What's a Shostabear? Is it a children's TV character living in Soviet Russia?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

> Quote Originally Posted by *Dim7*
> 3.Cowardly, spineless, indecisive, unloyal "moderate" wimp who wants to be friends with everybody





millionrainbows said:


> That must be what is called an 'anti-sociopath.'


'Sociopathetic'?


----------



## Dim7

Pathologically social? In other words, a sociopath?


----------



## Celloman

Top Ten Reasons Why You Don't Like Celloman


----------



## Dim7

Celloman said:


> Top Ten Reasons Why You Don't Like Celloman


I wonder if this (or the replies) would violate ToS if it was a thread started by you....


----------



## hpowders

Am I using the "like" system right?

Post No.1 : Hi. I'm new here and know nothing about classical music. What I've been doing is "liking" the posts I see other folks liking. I do want to belong and don't want to be left out. Is this okay?


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: Let's count to 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999! Only one number per post! I go first: 1


----------



## hpowders

Poll question: Do you agree or disagree with this statement: It's only atonal if you believe it.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Hello Moderators,
> Is there an easy way to like all the posts here on TC and automatically like new posts as they are posted, or do you need to go through them one by one and like each one? 'Cause I want to become the liker number one on this forum.


Deleted. Wrong post.


----------



## hpowders

Complaint Department:

Quite often my posts are the only one's I'm in synch with. Can you please add a self-like feature?


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Hello Moderators,
> Is there an easy way to just retract all the likes you've given here on TC, or do you need to go through them one by one and unlike each one? 'Cause there are thousands of posts that I don't like anymore.


"Hello Moderators" Funniest line I've heard in a while.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Pathologically social? In other words, a sociopath?


No, no...along the lines of W.C. Fields, a sociopath is "someone who really does like people...if they're properly cooked!":lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> "Hello Moderators" Funniest line I've heard in a while.


Let's start a thread called "Hello Moderators." We can have a logo, like "Hello Kitty."


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Abolish the "post" system!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Abolish the "post" system!


Post this over on "technical support" section. The thread should go on through 2018.


----------



## Dim7

Hey guys, I'd _like_ to inform to you at this point that all my likes actually mean _hate_. Since there is no hate system on this forum I just have to express my hate through likes.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Hey guys, I'd _like_ to inform to you at this point that all my likes actually mean _hate_. Since there is no hate system on this forum I just have to express my hate through likes.


This matter will be reviewed by our upper echelon management and a firm definitive decision should be determined within several days. Please continue using the "like" function as prescribed in the TOS charter until that time.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Members with more than 2000 posts are addicted to TC and should be banned for their own good.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Members with more than 2000 posts are addicted to TC and should be banned for their own good.


I don't know, 1,880 or more posts sounds like a good way to draw the line.


----------



## hpowders

Works for me. I used to be a lot happier. Much, much happier. Now all hours of the day, people are calling me: "Recommend this." "Recommend that." I need my life back!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> I don't know, 1,880 or more posts sounds like a good way to draw the line.


TBH, I always thought that it started to get ridiculous at about... oh, I don't know, 679, maybe.


----------



## hpowders

Are these your real names?

Post no. 1: These aren't your real names are they? Hammerklavier? Central Park Dark? I signed up as "Teddy" because that's my name. Was this a mistake? All I want to do is fit in. Also, whose posts should I "like"?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Are these your real names?
> 
> Post no. 1: These aren't your real names are they? Hammerklavier? Central Park Dark? I signed up as "Teddy" because that's my name. Was this a mistake? All I want to do is fit in. Also, whose posts should I "like"?


No, most people sign up with their names, including me. There are a lot of strange names on here.
To your last question - mine, of course! They are far more interesting than anyone else's.


----------



## Dim7

Yes, our usernames are our real names and as you can see I've got some mean parents. But I got a slightly better name than my brother "Dumb13"


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> Yes, our usernames are our real names and as you can see I've got some mean parents. But I got a slightly better name than my brother "Dumb13"


Do your parents have to rename you every year, Dim7? When will you be Dim8? And are you the youngest poster on TC, do you think?


----------



## Dim7

TurnaboutVox said:


> Do your parents have to rename you every year, Dim7? When will you be Dim8? And are you the youngest poster on TC, do you think?


Now that you mention it, yes, the number in my name also happens to be my age. Didn't think about it. I don't know what will happen when I'm going to be eight years old.


----------



## SimonNZ

Should Bob Dylan's "Isis" be banned from radio play? Removed from future pressings of the _Desire_ album?

Should Bob Dylan record a Winterreise before his voice begins to deteriorate?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> No, most people sign up with their names, including me. There are a lot of strange names on here.
> To your last question - mine, of course! They are far more interesting than anyone else's.


Well if people can name their kids: River, Chastity, Muddy and Sunshine; who is to say there isn't a kid walking around named Moonlight Sonata. The sad thing is none of his classmates would ever get the connection to what we know.


----------



## hpowders

My mother wanted to name me Dim Bulb, but that was already my sister's name.

So they settled on Dumb-A$$ the First.


----------



## KenOC

One well-known composer named his kids Moon Unit, Diva Muffin, Dweezil, and Ahmet Emuukha Rodan.


----------



## Albert7

and here you go:


----------



## SimonNZ

Should composers have stopped writing operas in September 1977 as there was no longer any posibility of a definitive performance?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Now that you mention it, yes, the number in my name also happens to be my age. Didn't think about it. I don't know what will happen when I'm going to be eight years old.


Well, you're allowed one name change a year, so...


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> Should composers have stopped writing operas in September 1977 as there was no longer any posibility of a definitive performance?


Will lowering the bar on exciting singing make placid singing any less placid?


----------



## Albert7

Marschallin Blair said:


> Will lowering the bar on exciting singing make placid singing any less placid?




Possibly on Lake Placid if they did ice skating nuns.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

albertfallickwang said:


> Possibly on Lake Placid if they did ice skating nuns.


For the ultra-mundane sheer habit of it?- I'll have nunavut.


----------



## Albert7

a commissioned opera premiering at the Met based on the life of Johnny Knoxville:


----------



## hpowders

Why the incongruity?

Post no.1: I'm new here and notice that many classical discussion forum threads and many stupid thread ideas are virtually interchangeable, so isn't a stupid thread idea thread kind of redundant? Why not just post these ideas on the normal thread?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I need help naming my baby!
> 
> Post No.1: I am an upperclass Britisher and was wondering if I can borrow the title Abstract Noun the First to be the Christian name of my first son. Only with permission, of course. I don't wish any legal hassles. I would of course be highly honoured.


If you would like a name taken from a TC thread, may I suggest Stupid Idea?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> If you would like a name taken from a TC thread, may I suggest Stupid Idea?


I was told for legal reasons, I can't use that name for my first son.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> I have no idea what you are talking about.


I totally saw what you had in that post before you edited it, you hpowders you :kiss:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Yes, but that's my daughter's name.


Oh. Perhaps you could use a jazz thread and call him The Hole.


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> I totally saw what you had in that post before you edited it, you hpowders you :kiss:


I didn't wish to offend the OP of that thread. Sometimes humor/humour comes at a premium.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Oh. Perhaps you could use a jazz thread and call him The Hole.


Perhaps Hole E Knight, the First.


----------



## hpowders

I was thinking if Cher could use Chastity for her daughter's name, perhaps I can name my first daughter Volatility.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

10 Most Obscure Composers Ever


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I was thinking if Cher could use Chastity for her daughter's name, perhaps I can name my first daughter Volatility.


Why not randomly select nouns from Abstract Noun Game? Just hope you don't end up with _indignity_ or _horror_.


----------



## hpowders

Your seven favorite/favourite symphonies in G flat minor.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why not randomly select nouns from Abstract Noun Game? Just hope you don't end up with _indignity_ or _horror_.


I stay away. That thread's over my head.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Choose EITHER Top 20,000 Triangle Concerti OR Top 3845.6 Organ Preludes in A Sharp Minor OR Top 20 Mahler Works


----------



## hpowders

If Mozart wrote like 614 compositions, what is the cheapest complete set you can recommend? Digital sound only puleez!

Post No.1: Is that a boxed set?


----------



## hpowders

Posting technical question:

Post no. 1: I really love TC but I have to go to bed now. Are posts kept from the previous day so I can still read them? I don't want to miss anything.


----------



## Celloman

Hey, let's create an aleatoric musical work by combining our social security numbers at random!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

After observing this site for some time I have come to the conclusion that it needs a 4'33'' subforum. This work is so often discussed that others barely get a look in. 
Please consider this suggestion, for the sake of all the composers who aren't Cage.


----------



## hpowders

That's one heck of a sharp bar of music, celloman!


----------



## Albert7

Different Trains, different banes, Rothko window pains?


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Your seven favorite/favourite symphonies in G flat minor.


Okay, just so I get this right... First, we list seven favorites as if we had been born and raised in the United States, and then seven more favourites as if we were Brits, Canadians, Aussies or Kiwis?


----------



## Albert7

And now cue up the flatulence fifths.


----------



## TresPicos

Since this is a forum based in Denmark, it doesn't make sense that people write in English. From now on, I think everyone should write their posts in Danish. If you don't know Danish, please learn it immediately, or use Google Translate for every post. I hear it's actually very accurate. 

As an exception, Swedes should be allowed to write in Swedish, since Danes understand Swedish quite well.


----------



## Albert7

TresPicos said:


> Since this is a forum based in Denmark, it doesn't make sense that people write in English. From now on, I think everyone should write their posts in Danish. If you don't know Danish, please learn it immediately, or use Google Translate for every post. I hear it's actually very accurate.
> 
> As an exception, Swedes should be allowed to write in Swedish, since Danes understand Swedish quite well.


Hvad er det du siger?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Since this is a forum based in Denmark, it doesn't make sense that people write in English. From now on, I think everyone should write their posts in Danish. If you don't know Danish, please learn it immediately, or use Google Translate for every post. I hear it's actually very accurate.
> 
> As an exception, Swedes should be allowed to write in Swedish, since Danes understand Swedish quite well.


Since Swedish is the second official language in Finland and it's taught as a compulsory subject in school, Finns should be also allowed to write in Swedish they have learned (almost nothing in practice but that's besides the point). And since Finns who speak Swedish as their mother language often mix Finnish in their Swedish, all Finnish words should be considered as part of the Swedish language so Finns should be allowed to write in Finnish.

And since Finns are forced to learn Swedish it's only fair that Swedes should be forced to learn Finnish. And if Swedes are forced to learn Finnish it's only fair that all the other nationalities in the world should be forced to learn Finnish. And since everyone would be speaking Finnish at that point, Finnish would become the official international language, and by extension the Finns would be acknowledged as the master race fit to rule over all the non-Finnish subhumans.

Be careful what kind of arguments you make and what are their implications. I quite like the conclusion, but I'm not so sure that you do.


----------



## SimonNZ

Bork! Bork! Bork! : Introductory Swedish


----------



## Skilmarilion

Great atonal ballets by Joseph Bodin de Boismortier.

Sublime minimalist saxophone concerti by Johann Christoph Pepusch.

Divine Mono recordings of Concerto for Contrabass, Viola and Orchestra by Carl Ditters von Dittersdorf.

Fantastic dissonant and oblique operettas by Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina.

Sensationally contrapuntal magnificats by John Cage.

Legendary box sets of Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji's entire output.


----------



## Posie

TresPicos said:


> Since this is a forum based in Denmark, it doesn't make sense that people write in English. From now on, I think everyone should write their posts in Danish. If you don't know Danish, please learn it immediately, or use Google Translate for every post. I hear it's actually very accurate.
> 
> As an exception, Swedes should be allowed to write in Swedish, since Danes understand Swedish quite well.


The same goes for Norwegians.


----------



## Celloman

Wait, don't Danes, Swedes, Fins, and Norwegians all speak Scandinavian?


----------



## Dim7

Celloman said:


> Wait, don't Danes, Swedes, Fins, and Norwegians all speak Scandinavian?


That's exactly what we were saying all along.


----------



## Skilmarilion

*The TC Top 1000+ Sonatinas for Byzantine Lyra and Snare Drum*

Voting Round 100 is now closed!

Although nobody has yet to participate in any of the rounds of this project, please feel free to now contribute your list of honourable mentions.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Since this is a forum based in Denmark, it doesn't make sense that people write in English. From now on, I think everyone should write their posts in Danish. If you don't know Danish, please learn it immediately, or use Google Translate for every post. I hear it's actually very accurate.
> 
> As an exception, Swedes should be allowed to write in Swedish, since Danes understand Swedish quite well.


Alt, hvad du siger, Boss!


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> Wait, don't Danes, Swedes, Fins, and Norwegians all speak Scandinavian?


They don't?


----------



## Dim7

The "Mods abuse their power" -thread: Only for the insanely brave and masochistic

Classical composers as Stupid Thread Idea composers: Who would be the best? What would Beethoven, Mozart, Cage or Wagner write in this thread?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> The "Mods abuse their power" -thread: Only for the insanely brave and masochistic


And its sister thread:

Your best Ad Hom about a Mod.


----------



## Albert7

De "Mods misbruger deres magt" -gevindhul: Kun til sindssygt modige og masochistisk

Klassiske komponister som dum Tråd Idea komponister: Hvem ville være den bedste? Hvad ville Beethoven, Mozart, Cage eller Wagner skrive i denne tråd?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is this a stupid question?

Sonata form without explosion


----------



## TresPicos

albertfallickwang said:


> De "Mods misbruger deres magt" -gevindhul: Kun til sindssygt modige og masochistisk
> 
> Klassiske komponister som dum Tråd Idea komponister: Hvem ville være den bedste? Hvad ville Beethoven, Mozart, Cage eller Wagner skrive i denne tråd?


Ja men altså... Jeg synes det fungerer rigtig godt.


----------



## Skilmarilion

*Which of these supreme works of Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji should I avoid the most?*

_- Opusculum clavisymphonicum vel claviorchestrale
- Sequentia cyclica super "Dies irae" ex Missa pro defunctis 
- Un nido di scatole sopra il nome del grande e buon amico Harold Rutland 
- Concerto da suonare da me solo e senza orchestra, per divertirmi
- Fantasiettina sul nome illustre dell'egregio poeta Christopher Grieve ossia Hugh M'Diarmid
- Il gallo d'oro" da Rimsky-Korsakov: variazioni frivole con una fuga anarchica, eretica e perversa
- Concertino non grosso for String Sextet with Piano obbligato quasi continuo
- Villa Tasca: mezzogiorno siciliano-evocazione nostalgica e memoria tanta cara e preziosa del giardino meraviglioso, splendido, tropicale _


----------



## Albert7

Beethoven symphonies on endless shuffle for the rest of your life...


----------



## Posie

TresPicos said:


> Since this is a forum based in Denmark, it doesn't make sense that people write in English. From now on, I think everyone should write their posts in Danish. If you don't know Danish, please learn it immediately, or use Google Translate for every post. I hear it's actually very accurate.
> 
> As an exception, Swedes should be allowed to write in Swedish, since Danes understand Swedish quite well.


Poll: If this happened, would you be motivated to learn Danish for TC (or TK)? I vote yes!


----------



## pierrot

What was the last smell you smelt?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Sonata form without exposition, development or recapitulation.


----------



## hpowders

Crazy "like" system?

Post #1. Hey, I'm new here. On one thread, two posters posted virtually the same thing, yet one poster got 2 "likes" and the other poster got 11. So this may sound dumb, but what's the purpose of this "like" system? Sounds useless to me, but I'm new here and probably don't know any better....so please enlighten me!


----------



## Dim7

Do existentialists really atone for their sins?



MoonlightSonata said:


> Sonata form without exposition, development or recapitulation.


Pieces consisting only of coda


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Crazy "like" system?
> 
> Post #1. Hey, I'm new here. On one thread, two posters posted virtually the same thing, yet one poster got 2 "likes" and the other poster got 11. So this may sound dumb, but what's the purpose of this "like" system? Sounds useless to me, but I'm new here and probably don't know any better....so please enlighten me!


What are you some kind of trouble maker, hpowders? I bet you don't make it to 100 posts! :lol::lol::lol:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Since Chinese is the most spoken language in the world, we here at TC should be using _that_, not English or Danish.


----------



## hpowders

Which composers would you enjoy watching clothes dry in the laundromat with? Choose up to three.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> What are you some kind of trouble maker, hpowders? I bet you don't make it to 100 posts! :lol:


:lol::lol::lol::lol:
Sorry, I like seeing all the little smilies laugh in unison


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Since Chinese is the most spoken language in the world, we here at TC should be using _that_, not English or Danish.


No - we should use Chinese, not because it's the most spoken language in the world but because Chinese is tonal while English is atonal.


----------



## hpowders

Which acoustic technicians would you prefer to hang out with? Choose up to four.


----------



## hpowders

What's the difference?

Post #1: I've been shopping around and notice that given two performances of the same piece, the DVD version always seems to cost more than the CD version with the same performers. Why? Sound is sound, isn't it?


----------



## Dim7

Abolish the Solar System!


----------



## millionrainbows

By "abolish the *post* system" does he mean* "post"* as in "you'd argue with a* post"*? 
That would take all the fun out.

Okay, tror jeg tanken om udstationering på dansk er god, især i lyset af, at de udviklet practic3e af social udstødelse.​


----------



## hpowders

I'm tired of this!!

Post #1: Why didn't Brahms ever write a Fourth Symphony? So tired of listening to symphonies 1-3 and constantly being asked which of the three is my favorite.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Josef Haydn composed 104 symphonies to prove he was 2.5365 times a better composer than W. A. Mozart?


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> What you do in your own home is your own business, of course.
> 
> When you visit Internet forums, however, it is wise to respect both the terms of service of the forum in question, and the universal "netiquette" of the Internet. In the specific case you are asking about, those two sets of rules will actually guide you quite neatly.
> 
> According to the ToS here at TC, you can hate a composer, but you cannot be rude to those who love him. This will create some kind of "ceiling" for the intensity of your posts. Netiquette, on the other hand, will create a corresponding "floor". On the Internet, if you like something, you love it, and if you dislike it or feel indifferent towards it, you hate it. Easy, isn't it?
> 
> So, get with the program, Mozart lover!


Wow! Now I'm too scared to join!! I was being beaten up pretty good on a Honda forum. I guess I will go back there.


----------



## Celloman

Hey, we all know about a special day that comes exactly one month from today...


----------



## millionrainbows

A new form of modern composition, called "appropriatism," uses (appropriates) older existing scores as templates for creating new compositions.

Example: Haydn symphonies are altered, and every other note is raised or lowered by a half step.

Any other variations on this? Congratulations, you're an "appropriatist."


----------



## Dim7

*Definition of music*

Does music really have to have sounds at all? And no, I'm not talking about 'silent' pieces, I'm talking about pieces of music that are completely unrelated to sound. Can I draw a picture and call it music? Or write a book and call it "Concerto for alphabet"?


----------



## Posie

Dim7 said:


> Does music really have to have sounds at all? And no, I'm not talking about 'silent' pieces, I'm talking about pieces of music that are completely unrelated to sound. Can I draw a picture and call it music? Or write a book and call it "Concerto for alphabet"?


Isn't that calligraphy?


----------



## Posie

Area 51: Why is it that when the last two digits of the number of views reaches 69, the number tends to linger a _little_ bit longer?


----------



## hpowders

marinasabina said:


> Area 51: Why is it that when the last two digits of the number of views reaches 69, the number tends to linger a _little_ bit longer?


I never noticed that!

Perhaps a bit of se____ual innuendo there?


----------



## hpowders

marinasabina said:


> Isn't that calligraphy?


Calligraphy is punishable by not more than 7 years imprisonment in the state I fondly call ******* land.

Nobody knows what it is, but it sounds like it could be a serious threat to our way of life.


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> Hey, we all know about a special day that comes exactly one month from today...


What do you call April Fool's Day on Talk Classical?

Wednesday!!


----------



## Posie

hpowders said:


> I never noticed that!


I noticed for two reasons: I hate odd numbers (especially 9), and... ya know.


----------



## hpowders

marinasabina said:


> I noticed for two reasons: I hate odd numbers (especially 9), and... ya know.


Oh. I know! It's in my diary. That particular page is a little brittle and yellow. I wear suede gloves when handling it.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Did you accidentally vote for a poll option you didn't intend to vote for when you voted in this poll?

*Yes
*No
*Unsure


----------



## Dim7

Top 1234321 pieces that would have been in the top 10 best works ever but were ruined by a single pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 1/1024th note and because of that note are in the top 10 worst works ever


----------



## hpowders

My credo is that it's only a stupid thread idea if you sincerely believe it to be.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which of Beethoven's Five Symphonies is your favorite one?

Post No. 1: Mine is number three! Oh crap!! Is it too late to revise this poll?? It's nine, right?
That's what i get for not studying up first!
I'm new here and so much wanted to make a good first impression!


----------



## hpowders

Why only the piano?

Post No. 1: I notice there are a couple of piano concertos written for the left hand only.
Why did these composers stop there? Why not a concerto for violin left hand only or cello, left hand only?
Am I missing something here?


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Why only the piano?
> 
> Post No. 1: I notice there are a couple of piano concertos written for the left hand only.
> Why did these composers stop there? Why not a concerto for violin left hand only or cello, left hand only?
> Am I missing something here?


I honestly don't know. I'd also like to know why there's no piano concertos for the middle hand. I was born with three hands and I've lost both my right and left hands and I'd like to have a piano concerto I could play.


----------



## KenOC

Why no concertos for the under hand? I'm sure there are plenty of sneaky underhanded pianists.


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven was 2.225 times better?

Post no. 1: I'm a math major studying music and I want to test out a theory of mine.
Beethoven composed 9 symphonies and Brahms, 4.
I therefore maintain that Beethoven must have been 2.25 times better as a composer than Brahms.
What say you on TC?


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> Why no concertos for the under hand? I'm sure there are plenty of sneaky underhanded pianists.


Beethoven was one.


----------



## Becca

If Brahms' 1st Symphony is considered to be Beethoven's 10th, which is Brahms' 5th?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Becca said:


> If Brahms' 1st Symphony is considered to be Beethoven's 10th, which is Brahms' 5th?


----------



## Celloman

Poll: What is your favorite artist or ensemble that performs classical music?

1. Piano Guys
2. Celtic Women
3. Mannheim Steamroller
4. Andrea Bocelli
5. Andre Rieu
6. *all of the above*


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> My credo is that it's only a stupid thread idea if you sincerely believe it to be.


Costanza would never make a stupid thread.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Would you vote in this poll if you could?

This poll is closed.


----------



## hpowders

nathanb said:


> Costanza would never make a stupid thread.


No he wouldn't.


----------



## hpowders

Help me find!!

Post No. 1: I've looked everywhere for Beethoven's Missa Somnambulance and I just can't seem to find it. Are all the CD's of this work already sold? Something seems to be amiss!


----------



## Dim7

Should we have subforum dedicated to breaking all the rules of this forum for those with rebellious impulses and bored mods?


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> Should we have subforum dedicated to breaking all the rules of this forum for those with rebellious impulses and bored mods?











Happy Days Marat


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven's Solomon's Amiss

Post No. 1: Hello folks. Newbee here! Anyone know how I can get hold of this composition by Beethoven? It's supposed to be his best composition, a mass or somewhat. Thanks for the help!


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Top 1234321 pieces that would have been in the top 10 best works ever but were ruined by a single pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp 1/1024th note and because of that note are in the top 10 worst works ever


1234321 pieces?!! 

Off the top of my head, I can only think of maybe 5 000 works like that. Given enough time, I might come up with 5 000 more, but that's it. And I consider myself a well-versed classical music listener. What you ask from us is barbaric and unrealistic, and perhaps even a bit malevolent.

Also, I doubt that 1.2 million works out of the 1.4 million ever written would even have a note like that. Unless you can count the same work multiple times, of course... Then, I guess it's possible. Perhaps that instruction was written between the lines of your post? I didn't read there, so I wouldn't know.


----------



## Albert7

Sweating to the Prokofiev oldies LP.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> 1234321 pieces?!!
> 
> Off the top of my head, I can only think of maybe 5 000 works like that. Given enough time, I might come up with 5 000 more, but that's it. And I consider myself a well-versed classical music listener. What you ask from us is barbaric and unrealistic, and perhaps even a bit malevolent.
> 
> Also, I doubt that 1.2 million works out of the 1.4 million ever written would even have a note like that. Unless you can count the same work multiple times, of course... Then, I guess it's possible. Perhaps that instruction was written between the lines of your post? I didn't read there, so I wouldn't know.


IDIOT, this is a stupid thread idea. Asking for 1234321 pieces that are like that while there are only ~10000 was the JOKE in that thread idea.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> IDIOT, this is a stupid thread idea. Asking for 1234321 pieces that are like that while there are only ~10 000 was the JOKE in that thread idea.


How did you know I'm an idiot?! 

I haven't written that anywhere. Are you spying on me or something?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> How did you know I'm an idiot?!
> 
> I haven't written that anywhere. Are you spying on me or something?


I have this uncanny ability to instantly know who are my intellectual equals. That's why I'm called an "idiot savant".


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Does music really have to have sounds at all? And no, I'm not talking about 'silent' pieces, I'm talking about pieces of music that are completely unrelated to sound. Can I draw a picture and call it music? Or write a book and call it "Concerto for alphabet"?


Well, I just bought a roast, cooked it with some carrots, potatoes, and onions, and called it *Tone Poem no. 65.*


----------



## Albert7

Morton Feldman-branded ice skates.


----------



## millionrainbows

Is 4'33" a *silent* piece?

1. No, it consists of sounds heard in the environment at that prescribed time. I've read about the piece, and think I understand it.

2. Yes, it is a silent piece, but I haven't read anything on it or done any homework, I'm just blurting out the most obvious answer.

3. Yes, it is a silent piece, but I'm a art dilettante who knows about other 'silent' pieces, and will quote them as examples which came before, to make Cage look bad.

4. Yes, it is a silent piece, which I assumed from what everybody else is saying who hates it, so I did a google search and came up with some other 'precedent' silent pieces, to make Cage look bad.

5. There is no such thing as "silent" music, and I will present my definition of music as_ organized sound,_ even though my initial premise is incorrect.

6. Whether or not it is 'silent' is secondary to me; I simply am a traditionalist who hates all modernism.


----------



## Albert7

4' 33" branded milquetoast. Sorry, you got gyped.


----------



## Dim7

*Is it or is it not that or this or what?*

Relations between things can be either complicated, convoluted or complex. Which is not to not say they are not unsimple. At the same time, they are also either non-existent or entirerly absent; it depends on several or no factors or just a single factor, and how many factors are involved is itself depended on the question whether there is anything to depend on or off.

To make my point clear: Let's for the sake of argument assume that A = A. Does this really mean that the two A's are interchangeable? And does it mean we can turn the equal sign 90 degrees counterclockwise? Why would or would not we do so in the first place? And when I say "for the sake of argument", why do you immediately understand that I'm not talking about Japanese rice wine?

Or is it the other way around, or backwards or upwards? What *are* your thoughts *on* this?


----------



## hpowders

Becca said:


> If Brahms' 1st Symphony is considered to be Beethoven's 10th, which is Brahms' 5th?


That's easy. Brahms' Piano Concerto No. 2. It has been called symphony with piano obbligato.


----------



## Albert7

Techno version of Tosca... has this been done yet?


----------



## Albert7

I am so stupid that I will be posting here more often... or is that just dumb?


----------



## Skilmarilion

Wow. This thread is really moving along quickly these days!

I would contribute more if I wasn't so busy avoiding the complete works of Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top ten sublime lawnmower concertos that move you to tears
Music that you want to bite
Your five favourite laminated composers


----------



## Albert7

With each of your posts here, add +10 IQ points to your score.

NOT! Got you folks.


----------



## Celloman

Poll: What do you think of atonal music?

1. Atonal music is good

2. Atonal music is bad

3. There's no such as atonal music..._duh_!


----------



## Dim7

Skilmarilion said:


> Wow. This thread is really moving along quickly these days!
> 
> I would contribute more if I wasn't so busy avoiding the complete works of Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.


I hope you won't notice that i'm the one who's throwing those Complete works of Sorabji CD sets at you.


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> Poll: What do you think of atonal music?
> 
> 1. Atonal music is good
> 
> 2. Atonal music is bad
> 
> 3. There's no such as atonal music..._duh_!


If you are tone-deaf to atonal music, then attuned out .


----------



## FrankF

Stupid thread ideas?

How about...

What is your 67th favorite Haydn symphony?


----------



## Albert7

How to listen to classical music using broken earbuds and an iPod touch.


----------



## hpowders

FrankF said:


> Stupid thread ideas?
> 
> How about...
> 
> What is your 67th favorite Haydn symphony?


Number 34.


----------



## Dim7

Which TC members you would be willing to sacrifice to bring back one composer of your choice back to life? 

Poll: Should we ban Krummhorn?

Can I 'Ignore' myself on Talk Classical?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Which TC members you would be willing to sacrifice to bring back one composer of your choice back to life?
> 
> Poll: Should we ban Krummhorn?
> 
> Can I 'Ignore' myself on Talk Classical?


This is the kind of post (first sentence only) if I answer truthfully, I would probably get permanently banned.

But it would feel so damn goooooooooood!!!!!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: Should we close down the whole site except Current Listening and Stupid Thread Ideas?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Should we close down the whole site except Current Listening and Stupid Thread Ideas?


Nooooooooooooo... I am NOT... yer father .


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 299.112 works by Schoenberg that your grandmother likes


----------



## Albert7

When Webern Met Sally...


----------



## Blancrocher

**A Poll**

Hi Everybody. I see there are a lot of polls around here, and I'd like to know your favorite.

A. North
B. South
C. Telephone
D. Dancer
E. Tergeist
F. Other


----------



## Albert7

Installing Ubuntu Linux with the help from Brahms.


----------



## SimonNZ

Blancrocher said:


> **A Poll**
> 
> Hi Everybody. I see there are a lot of polls around here, and I'd like to know your favorite.
> 
> A. North
> B. South
> C. Telephone
> D. Dancer
> E. Tergeist
> F. Other


G. Chopin
H. Szymanowski
I. Penderecki


----------



## Dim7

Dear Mods,

I've noticed that certain poster is very obnoxious on Thursdays but nice on other days. Could we make him banned on all Thursdays but let him post on other days of week?


----------



## Polyphemus

Blancrocher said:


> **A Poll**
> 
> Hi Everybody. I see there are a lot of polls around here, and I'd like to know your favorite.
> 
> A. North
> B. South
> C. Telephone
> D. Dancer
> E. Tergeist
> F. Other


Urbain Grandier

Jacques de Molay

The Cathars


----------



## Dim7

If we assume that there exists exactly 1 400 000 pieces of classical music, what would be in your opinion the 1 400 000th worst piece?


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> If we assume that there exists exactly 1 400 000 pieces of classical music, what would be in your opinion the 1 400 000th worst piece?


:lol:

I'm not sure whether that's a stupid thread idea or I'm just stupid--you're asking for the best piece, right?


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me great names like Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.

Recommend me great names that wrote great music unlike Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.

Recommend me HIP recordings of Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji's music so I can avoid them.

Recommend me other composers with epic names whose music no-one listens to like Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.

Recommend me moving atonal musics by Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji that I wouldn't need to listen to.

Recommend me ways that I could improve my username without changing it to Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> Dear Mods,
> 
> I've noticed that certain poster is very obnoxious on Thursdays but nice on other days. Could we make him banned on all Thursdays but let him post on other days of week?


Glad to learn that he's a he - you had me worried there for a minute!


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Dear Mods,
> 
> I've noticed that certain poster is very obnoxious on Thursdays but nice on other days. Could we make him banned on all Thursdays but let him post on other days of week?


I promise to be a better poster on Thursdays.


----------



## hpowders

However, I have decided to be slightly more obnoxious on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday to balance out my Thursday behavior.


----------



## hpowders

With all due respect, do we need mods anymore?

Post no. 1: I've been lurking for almost a year on TC and I notice the posting on TC has been quite placid back and forth over the last 8 months or so.

I'm thinking of asking for an honor/honour system regarding posting decorum.

What say you?


----------



## Dim7

Ingélou said:


> Glad to learn that he's a he - you had me worried there for a minute!


You can be relieved, I'm not talking about you. You're obnoxious* on all days of week. I hate the way you use likes as a psychological weapon. This morning I received 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 likes from you and seeing that completely overloaded my small brain, it simply cannot handle numbers that large.

*kidding, obviously


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> However, I have decided to be slightly more obnoxious on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday to balance out my Thursday behavior.


Balance and the Golden mean are very important. We don't want anyone to go to the other extreme of not being obnoxious at all.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Balance and the Golden mean are very important. We don't want anyone to go to the other extreme of not being obnoxious at all.


From my end anyway, I can honestly proclaim that this will NEVER be allowed to happen. I have a reputation to protect!


----------



## Dim7

Already Existing Threads - post thread titles of existing TC threads. Only one thread title per post.


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> You can be relieved, I'm not talking about you. You're obnoxious on all days of week. I hate the way you use likes as a psychological weapon. This morning I received 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 likes from you and seeing that completely overloaded my small brain, it simply cannot handle numbers that large.


Fine - sorry I offended, and in future I'll make an exception in your case. (You only had to ask.)
Ave atque vale! :tiphat: :wave:


----------



## Dim7

Ingélou said:


> Fine - sorry I offended, and in future I'll make an exception in your case. (You only had to ask.)
> Ave atque vale! :tiphat: :wave:


And now you broke the translation chip implanted in my brain, it doesn't translate Latin. Thank you very much


----------



## Albert7

Manual on stalking Janine Jansen and avoiding the fuzz.


----------



## millionrainbows

This thread is supposed to be about "Stupid Thread Ideas," not just "stupid." :lol:


----------



## Albert7

Plowing snow using the Sony Walkman tuned in the key of Raff.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

albertfallickwang said:


> Manual on stalking Janine Jansen and avoiding the fuzz.


"Creepy Thread Ideas" :lol:


----------



## Celloman

hi i just joined talk clasical LOL and so excited LMAO!!!

so i am new and can anybody tell me wat is clasical music?!??


----------



## Guest

Skilmarilion said:


> Recommend me great names like Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.
> 
> Recommend me great names that wrote great music unlike Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.
> 
> Recommend me HIP recordings of Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji's music so I can avoid them.
> 
> Recommend me other composers with epic names whose music no-one listens to like Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.
> 
> Recommend me moving atonal musics by Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji that I wouldn't need to listen to.
> 
> Recommend me ways that I could improve my username without changing it to Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.


Thanks! I'll start each of these!


----------



## Guest

Celloman said:


> hi i just joined talk clasical LOL and so excited LMAO!!!
> 
> so i am new and can anybody tell me wat is clasical music?!??


Why have you copied my first post?


----------



## Albert7

Audio listening tests pre-6 pack of beer and post-6 pack of beer.


----------



## Dim7

*Excessively nice forum behavior*

According to Terms of Service, forum members are expected to behave in a polite and civil manner, as they should. Even if we disagree, we should still be able to be nice to each other. That being said, is there such a thing as too nice and sweet behavior? For instance, imagine I posted following post:

"You people of TC are soooooooooo dear to me, you are my everything, I can't imagine my life without you <3 <3 <3"

That would be pretty disturbing, if not outright disgusting, right? Wouldn't the moderators do the right thing if they deleted icky posts like that? I've seen plenty of examples of this kind of stuff and frankly I hate the kind of atmosphere it creates in this forum.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> According to Terms of Service, forum members are expected to behave in a polite and civil manner, as they should. Even if we disagree, we should still be able to be nice to each other. That being said, is there such a thing as too nice and sweet behavior?


Of course there is!

But it's not only about ickiness. It's also about freedom!

In any society, there are rules, be it the country you live in or the internet forum where you spend most of your days. And there must be rules, limiting our freedom so we don't misuse it at the expense of others. But in most societies, there are forces that try to limit our freedom more than necessary, in order to extend control over us all. It is, therefore, crucial that we are vigilant and guard against those forces. And it is crucial that we make use of our freedom, all the way up to the very boundaries that limit it. Otherwise we will start losing ground, little by little.

TalkClassical enforces rules of civility that we all must follow. But beyond that, we have a considerable amount of freedom. However, I sometimes feel that we take that freedom for granted. We know that we can be somewhat impolite in our posts and get away with it, although not too impolite. But how do we act? Politely! We censor ourselves and treat each other with respect and courtesy, but by doing so we are silently standing by and watching our freedom erode.

So, please stop being so nice to each other! Not because it's icky, but because you are letting dark forces advance into territory that is rightly ours. I'm not saying you have to start being rude to other users. Just be a bit unfriendly. That will go a long way!


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Of course there is!


I guess that goes without saying. But what I was hinting at was that maybe forum members should be given infracton points for too nice and friendly posts and eventually banned if such behavior continues, and that prohibiton of such ickiness would be explicitly stated in the Terms of Service. This of really about the consistent application of the "Golden mean" principle.

As for the rest of your post, could I summarize it as "passive-aggression and subtle sarcastic jabs are the key to freedom"? Makes sense to me.


----------



## SimonNZ

...and if those gushing admirers don't feel their love is being reciprocated:


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Thread: What composer/composers would you like to hang?


Oh, hold on, '...out with', OK!


----------



## Headphone Hermit

TresPicos said:


> I'm not saying you have to start being rude to other users. Just be a bit unfriendly.


Yah, boo! (is that enough being unfriendly for today?)


----------



## hpowders

Which of my 1453 CDs should I listen to over the next year?

Post No. 1: Now you the TC membership can program my listening choices over the next year.

Choose up to 4 hours worth from my CD collection per day. No repeats please!


----------



## hpowders

Why are provocative threads allowed, so that when posters answer with complete honesty and frankness, then warned for doing so?

Post No. 1: Sorry if this is a thread that is too stupid to be expressed on Stupid Thread Ideas.


----------



## Dim7

What composers would hang which TC posters?


----------



## Albert7

Drinking Coca-Cola while hanging out with Mahler.


----------



## KenOC

20 ways to prepare composers, with wine recommendations.


----------



## Albert7

what we have here is a failure to launch 1812 cannons


----------



## hpowders

I want to join TC but I don't have the commitment to stay here 24/7 and post like 1000 times a week. Can someone like me be happy here? I only want to post like 5 times a day. Will I be laughed at?


----------



## Albert7

Back to the Bach basics workout CD.


----------



## Celloman

Hey, so I just found an album called "The World's Greatest Classical Music Album" - can you believe it?!? They wouldn't be lying if they knew it was the best, so it must be true!! You can be the first to congratulate me!


----------



## Albert7

Futurama Symphony No. 2.5 in B flat minor


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me simple, easy-to-follow music like Ferneyhough.


----------



## Albert7

Bootleggin' Mozart discs on the street corners of NYC


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me despondent, heavy music like Haydn


----------



## Albert7

Acting dumb and dumber and dumbest with the Three Stooges commingling in a Stravinsky ballet parody


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me my own music because I want to have people recommend my music
Recommend me your music so I can ignore it
Recommend me music I've heard before so I can feel superior


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Recommend me my own music because I want to have people recommend my music
> Recommend me your music so I can ignore it
> Recommend me music I've heard before so I can feel superior


Dis-recommending all Beethoven music due to failure to eat with pasta
Dis-recommending all Webern music due to short length than the inchworm
Dis-recommending all Boulez music due to fact that it can't be spread on French toast.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me Jenkins so I can criticise your poor taste.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Recommend me Jenkins so I can criticise your poor taste.


Pulling off a Jenkins while making out with Jenkins while listening to Jenkins sing her Verdi impression.


----------



## Dim7

Dear mods,

I have tried to get my lewd jokes past the censors several times without success. Could you please provide an exhaustive list of innuendos you don't 'get'? Thanks in advance.


----------



## Albert7

Writing scores to accompany this thread's winding road.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

MoonlightSonata said:


> Recommend me Jenkins so I can criticise your poor taste.


Which Jenkins? Kathryn, Karl or John?  (Ps I couldn't recommend anything from the first of these :lol


----------



## Albert7

Car Horn Concerto No. 4 in A flat minor


----------



## hpowders

What's the difference?

Post No. 1: Hi. I'm new here but a long-term lurker. So what's the difference in quality between what's "out there" and what I find here on STI? I can't seem to find any, but like I wrote, I'm new here.


----------



## millionrainbows

Troll Assignment #1:

Find out which specific recordings a member really likes, by searching through the current listening thread. Also, try to find out what kind of music, or specific recordings, they loathe.

Post a thread, enthusing about how much you like a particular recording that they also like.

Wait for them to post a "like" on your post.

Then, go back and edit your post, replacing the "loved" recording with the "loathed" recording.

Now, they will be seen as "liking" a recording which they previously hated! Ha ha!!! They've been trolled!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> What's the difference?
> 
> Post No. 1: Hi. I'm new here but a long-term lurker. So what's the difference in quality between what's "out there" and what I find here on STI? I can't seem to find any, but like I wrote, I'm new here.


The STI ones are better.


----------



## Dim7

US military violates the United Nations Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons by employing 'likes' in psychological warfare


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Troll Assignment #1:
> 
> Find out which specific recordings a member really likes, by searching through the current listening thread. Also, try to find out what kind of music, or specific recordings, they loathe.
> 
> Post a thread, enthusing about how much you like a particular recording that they also like.
> 
> Wait for them to post a "like" on your post.
> 
> Then, go back and edit your post, replacing the "loved" recording with the "loathed" recording.
> 
> Now, they will be seen as "liking" a recording which they previously hated! Ha ha!!! They've been trolled!!


Too fast!! Too fast!! Too much valuable information!!

Slow it! Slow it! I'm trying to write all this down!!

For defensive purposes, of course.


----------



## Posie

Where can I find a production of L'incoronazione di Poppea with Daniele de Niese as Nero and Philippe Jaroussky as Poppea?


----------



## Albert7

Likes, likes, likes painted all over the front page of the forum.


----------



## Dim7

Approximate IQ's of TC members based on their posting style (ToS-exempt)

Music that doesn't just bore you but actively sucks all emotion out of you (even if you were doing the most interesting activity at the same time)


----------



## Albert7

Throwing bricks against the wall to create the Rock Symphony No. 2.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Approximate IQ's of TC members based on their posting style (ToS-exempt)


Ooh.... can we? :devil:


----------



## Albert7

Postmodern ping pong with Schoenberg and Cage


----------



## hpowders

Why don't I feel different?

Post no. 1: I just reached 100 posts and I am now a "Senior Member". Yet I don't feel special for having accomplished this. Is there something wrong with me? Help welcomed!


----------



## Skilmarilion

I understand that Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji banned performances of his music from 1936, but then lifted this ban in 1976. Could anyone advise me as to how we might restore this ban as quickly as possible? 

Please do respond to this as soon as you can -- we are trying to achieve something quite profound here. Thank you so much.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Post no. 1: I just reached 100 posts


It took me too long to figure out there's something wrong with this.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> It took me too long to figure out there's something wrong with this.


Mandarin to English isn't always a smooth transition. It can make one's brain explode!


----------



## Albert7

Drinking coffee each morning with Brahms-branded sugar cubes.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why can't I buy harpsichords at the supermarket?


----------



## Albert7

Guidebook on different ways to sleep heartily during an orchestra concert and making everyone else notice you obviously.


----------



## Celloman

hi im nu here, i say clasical musik is boring wat do u tink?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

albertfallickwang said:


> Guidebook on different ways to sleep heartily during an orchestra concert and making everyone else notice you obviously.


It's easy - dress in tails, stand on a podium, wave a baton, then fall asleep. I guarantee that at least 98% of the audience will notice you.


----------



## Albert7

50 ways to review a classical CD in Gramophone using the word "nuanced" in every single sentence of that review.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why can't I buy harpsichords at the supermarket?


Have you tried a Super-Walmart?


----------



## Albert7

Methods for outlasting your opponent during a maximum Raff listening marathon.


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> hi im nu here, i say clasical musik is boring wat do u tink?


I think you should postpone your dream of becoming a university English instructor.


----------



## Albert7

Arguing with a stoned stone guest before his gangbusters drag you down to the depths of the inferno while you munch a Big Mac.


----------



## millionrainbows

John Cage: "I have no feeling for harmony."

Schoenberg: "Then you will come up against a brick wall in your studies."

John Cage: "Then I shall devote my life to hitting my head against that brick wall."

John Cage: *Composition Number 143, for Brick Wall and Head*


----------



## Albert7

Eating pizza created from dough using elements from Brahms Symphony No. 5.


----------



## millionrainbows

albertfallickwang said:


> Eating pizza created from dough using elements from Brahms Symphony No. 5.


Huh? I don't understand it, but it's funny. :lol:

That reminds me of a line I heard on TV the other night, that went something like this:

Man: "You look ravishing."

Woman: "You look doughy."

Instructional thread:

*What to Listen for in 4'33"*


----------



## Albert7

Mahler song on endless repeat used as a political tool for mass media.


----------



## millionrainbows

Classical Music Menu:

Viennese Special: Strauss waffle, served with whipped cream and "Blue Danube" blueberries

Second Viennese Special: Schoenberg waffle, served with sour cream and sprinkled with nuts

Milton Babbitt upside-down inversion cake

Beethoven Special: 9 oz. steak

Mendelssohn chicken soup

Wagnerian roast dinner, with heavy brew

Philip Glass endless pasta plate, and we mean endless

Terry Riley curried chicken wings with rice

Dvorak steak tartar, freshly butchered

Bach lamb (safely grass-fed)

Lizst puff-pastry, looks more substantial than it really is


----------



## SeptimalTritone

^ What would be on the menu for John Cage?

*GROAN*


----------



## Albert7

SeptimalTritone said:


> ^ What would be on the menu for John Cage?
> 
> *GROAN*


Luciano Berio chicken soup, knee slap.


----------



## Dim7

*How to deal with baton-wielding and handwaving loonies*

Rehearsals of our orchestra have long been disrupted by an eccentric, baton-wielding man who just comes in front of the orchestra without asking permission and makes bunch of goofy looking gestures. He also tries to boss us and instruct on how we are supposed to play. Naturally, we first found this incredibly distracting and annoying and tried to force this mental case to leave.

This proved to be a wrong strategy; no matter if we practiced in the most secret military underground base this guy would find his way like a ninja into our rehearsals, so we eventually just gave up. But we found out there was actually a more subtle, effective way to deal with this self-important madman.

I've heard this kind of problem is plaguing a lot of other orchestras as well and not just our own, so here's our advice: give him the illusion of power. Pretend to respect his authority. Make him feel important. But there's no need to actually pay any attention either to his instructions or hand gestures: he is quite easy to fool in that regard. If you just do that, he is in fact quite harmless and you will get used to him.


----------



## Albert7

Napping with the Mozart oldies while nursing a wine bottle.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Rehearsals of our orchestra have long been disrupted by an eccentric, baton-wielding man who just comes in front of the orchestra without asking permission and makes bunch of goofy looking gestures. He also tries to boss us and instruct on how we are supposed to play. Naturally, we first found this incredibly distracting and annoying and tried to force this mental case to leave.
> 
> This proved to be a wrong strategy; no matter if we practiced in the most secret military underground base this guy would find his way like a ninja into our rehearsals, so we eventually just gave up. But we found out there was actually a more subtle, effective way to deal with this self-important madman.
> 
> I've heard this kind of problem is plaguing a lot of other orchestras as well and not just our own, so here's our advice: give him the illusion of power. Pretend to respect his authority. Make him feel important. But there's no need to actually pay any attention either to his instructions or hand gestures: he is quite easy to fool in that regard. If you just do that, he is in fact quite harmless and you will get used to him.


Some of them seem to hang around with only the best orchestras. Perhaps some have specials talents for loitering?


----------



## Albert7

Watching a production of Carmen set in the sets of Salome?... Or are the gypsies pole dancers?


----------



## hpowders

Why not?

Post No. 1: I've listened to some medieval music and it was awful. How come when I look up medieval tortures, medieval music isn't among them? Thanks for the help!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

albertfallickwang said:


> Watching a production of Carmen set in the sets of Salome?... Or are the gypsies pole dancers?


That's just weird modern opera staging.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Why not?
> 
> Post No. 1: I've listened to some medieval music and it was awful. How come when I look up medieval tortures, medieval music isn't among them? Thanks for the help!


An episode of Game of Thrones set to Palestrina while Tyrion dances around a bust of Beethoven.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Why not?
> 
> Post No. 1: I've listened to some medieval music and it was awful. How come when I look up medieval tortures, medieval music isn't among them? Thanks for the help!


The author didn't want to disturb their readers.


----------



## Albert7

I think, therefore I dumb on Strauss.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

albertfallickwang said:


> I think, therefore I dumb on Strauss.


What does that mean?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> What does that mean?


I am so dumb that I don't even understand what I wrote. I can't understand what I wrote.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dear Mods,
All members who have made 2,000 or more posts should have access to a special subforum for this elite group only.
Discussion in this subforum would obviously not be visible to the common riffraff.
For those of a less argumentative nature, there would also have to be a special sub-subforum in which Cage, Deutscher and Schoenberg could not be mentioned.
Yours sincerely, 
MoonlightSonata


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Dear Mods,
> All members who have made 2,000 or more posts should have access to a special subforum for this elite group only.
> Discussion in this subforum would obviously not be visible to the common riffraff.
> For those of a less argumentative nature, there would also have to be a special sub-subforum in which Cage, Deutscher and Schoenberg could not be mentioned.
> Yours sincerely,
> MoonlightSonata


LOL I loved this one! And I don't feel so dumb agreeing with you.


----------



## SimonNZ

How to up your post count with spam and blather.

The proven connection between post count size and willy size.

"Why did nobody warn us?": A support group for women with large post counts.


----------



## Albert7

SimonNZ said:


> How to up your post count with spam and blather.
> 
> The proven connection between post count size and willy size.


The blather-o-meter app for TalkClassical members which costs five USD to access its full functions.


----------



## omega

millionrainbows said:


> Classical Music Menu:
> 
> Viennese Special: Strauss waffle, served with whipped cream and "Blue Danube" blueberries
> 
> Second Viennese Special: Schoenberg waffle, served with sour cream and sprinkled with nuts
> 
> Milton Babbitt upside-down inversion cake
> 
> Beethoven Special: 9 oz. steak
> 
> Mendelssohn chicken soup
> 
> Wagnerian roast dinner, with heavy brew
> 
> Philip Glass endless pasta plate, and we mean endless
> 
> Terry Riley curried chicken wings with rice
> 
> Dvorak steak tartar, freshly butchered
> 
> Bach lamb (safely grass-fed)
> 
> Lizst puff-pastry, looks more substantial than it really is


Stockhausen Waffle, with artichoke, bitter chocolate sauce, preserved kumquats and extra chorizo.

Any Deutscher-style sweets after the coffee ?


----------



## Dim7

I've noticed a disturbing trend in the Current Listening thread: people are actually commenting on the music they/others are listening and actual discussion is taking place! Moderators must quickly intervene and prevent the thread from degenerating into an interesting thread that actually makes sense.


----------



## Celloman

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


----------



## Albert7

CD player on Russian roulette mode with Sibelius on random play.


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> I've noticed a disturbing trend in the Current Listening thread: people are actually commenting on the music they/others are listening and actual discussion is taking place! Moderators must quickly intervene and prevent the thread from degenerating into an interesting thread that actually makes sense.


Nothing bad with critical discussion gone awry... stupidity with profoundity!


----------



## hpowders

Life Without STI

Post No. 1: Without STI, there would be nothing stimulating enough to keep me here on TC any longer.
Please express how STI has had an effect and/or changed your life.


----------



## Albert7

designing software that replies automatically to certain posters on TC with listening modes on Mozart or Carter.


----------



## Dim7

List 10 last films you didn't watch in the exact order you didn't watch them

Poll: Boredom or fun, which do you prefer?


----------



## hpowders

List the five most obscure compositions you never listen to and the reasons you found them so attractive in the first place.
Please keep the discussion civil. No rancor will be tolerated.


----------



## hpowders

If Bartók's Second Piano Concerto is Bartók's answer to Stravinsky's Le Sacre, why didn't Stravinsky simply compose the second piano concerto in the first place?


----------



## hpowders

Opinion Poll: Who are the most over-appreciated composers from the medieval era?
Please arrange your choices by country if possible to make them easier to sort.


----------



## Albert7

List graphical scores for Britney Spears remixed by John Cage on prepared piano.


----------



## millionrainbows

SeptimalTritone said:


> ^ What would be on the menu for John Cage?
> 
> *GROAN*


John Cage: Mushroom soup. Or, you could always go on the John Cage 4'33" diet.


----------



## Albert7

KFC muzak of Mozart wind concertos redone on terribly tuned vibraphones.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Celloman said:


> hi im nu here, i say clasical musik is boring wat do u tink?


I think, Sir Simon, that you shouldn't have signed that contract with the LSO, then...


----------



## Albert7

TurnaboutVox said:


> I think, Sir Simon, that you shouldn't have signed that contract with the LSO, then...


impeccable British accent when stating Elgar's name for the record for sure.


----------



## hpowders

*Words CAN Hurt*

Post No.1: For those of you who have applied for a prime spot on my Friends' List and have been rejected, my explanation is a simple one:

I'm a loner and a loner's got to be alone.

Regards,

Jesse.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> *Words CAN Hurt*
> 
> Post No.1: For those of you who have applied for a prime spot on my Friends' List and have been rejected, my explanation is a simple one:
> 
> I'm a loner and a loner's got to be alone.
> 
> Regards,
> 
> Jesse.


Sorry Jesse Pinkman...

I had to abandon you with my leftover collection of Mendelssohn records with the crystal meth lab equipment in the RV.

sincerely,
Walter White


----------



## Dim7

I was worried that maybe one day we will run out of stupid thread ideas, but then I recalled the famous Einstein quote:

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> *Words CAN Hurt*
> 
> Post No.1: For those of you who have applied for a prime spot on my Friends' List and have been rejected, my explanation is a simple one:
> 
> I'm a loner and a loner's got to be alone.
> 
> Regards,
> 
> Jesse.


I must say you aced the entrance exam into my friends list! Did you cheat perhaps??


----------



## Albert7

Little did we really know... the secret life of Clara Schumann as a soap opera.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The Top 10 Heaviest Composers


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> I was worried that maybe one day we will run out of stupid thread ideas, but then I recalled the famous Einstein quote:
> 
> "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."


I got plenty more ideas in the freezer, getting well-preserved for when I need 'em, maybe when I run out of words at 37,000 posts or so.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> I must say you aced the entrance exam into my friends list! Did you cheat perhaps??


I read the Cliffs Notes summary of how to do it, rather than take the 5 month course.


----------



## Albert7

detective novels with the Hardy Boys fighting Mozart and his posse family.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> The Top 10 Heaviest Composers


1. Rossini....


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I got plenty more ideas in the freezer, getting well-preserved for when I need 'em, maybe when I run out of words at 37,000 posts or so.


Can I borrow some?


----------



## Albert7

Who killed Kenny?

It was blamed on Lizst at the court hearing.


----------



## Albert7

We should have a timer go off when this thread doesn't get updated within 10 minutes. Your punishment is 100 Czerny exercises every hour by the hour.


----------



## Albert7

What we have here is a failure to produce stupidity which means the smart poster is intelligent enough to post stupid things... so we have a lawn mower manual for tuning violins to Bach's cantatas?


----------



## SimonNZ

Is It Okay To Post On Behalf Of Banned Members?

"FlameBoy just emailed me and wants it to be known that your embarrassing nonsense post about Beethoven shows all the symptoms of late stage syphilitic madness, and thinks you should go get yourself checked."


----------



## SimonNZ

The Sarcastic Apology Thread: "Awww, did I hurt liddle diddums widdle feelings?"


----------



## Skilmarilion

*Unlikely occurrences*

Terry Riley becomes the new face of Gillette.

Andrew Lloyd-Webber writes some non-plagiarised music.

Glass writes music without arpeggios.

Steve Reich takes his hat off.


----------



## Dim7

Compliment or thank fellow TC members in an insulting way. For example:

"I want to thank you for making the opposite camp look even more foolish than it is."

"I love your unintentional humor."

"Thanks for all these posters: (long list) for reminding me that I'm not at the extreme left side of the IQ bell curve of this forum."


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Compliment or thank fellow TC members in an insulting way. For example:
> 
> "I want to thank you for making the opposite camp look even more foolish than it is."
> 
> "I love your unintentional humor."
> 
> "Thanks for all these posters: (long list) for reminding me that I'm not at the extreme left side of the IQ bell curve of this forum."


Run this by those who have the power of life and death over us.


----------



## hpowders

If you could ask famous TC posters of the past one thing, what would it be?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which is better: tonal or atonal music?

Post No. 1: New here. Don't know if this was ever discussed. Seems like it could be a good topic here.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> If you could ask famous TC posters of the past one thing, what would it be?


Is that really that stupid? How about:

If famous TC posters of past or present (such as Dim7 for example) would sink so low, and have the time to answer to a single question made by lowly TC peasant such as you, what would you ask them?


----------



## Dim7

I just listened to Schoenberg's Wind Quintet. It sounded like a cat walking on wind instruments!

Er... that doesn't quite work..


----------



## Kivimees

Your favourite Brahms opera.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me great music with meaningful lyrics like Vocalise.

Recommend me galante string trios with electroacoustic continuo. 

Recommend me rococo wind serenades with violent oblique fury.

Recommend me electroacoustic music that people other than some guy have heard.

Recommend me lush 12-tone medieval cor anglais concerti.

Recommend me jubilante disco boogies like Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji.

Recommend me stylish yet conservative dance moves for scherzos by Bruckner.

Recommend me polyphonic Renassiance chanting with celesta obbligato.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Is that really that stupid? How about:
> 
> If famous TC posters of past or present (such as Dim7 for example) would sink so low, and have the time to answer to a single question made by lowly TC peasant such as you, what would you ask them?


If I wrote it, believe me, it's stupid!! I have my pride and my reputation!!


----------



## hpowders

Which Simple Symphony is better, Wagner's or Britten's?


----------



## hpowders

Site Feedback: When you leave TC, do you have to pay an exit fee?


----------



## hpowders

Help me find!

Britten's A Simpleton's Symphony.


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> Help me find!
> 
> Britten's A Simpleton's Symphony.


Hey, I know that one! It's actually called _Simplistic_ Symphony.


----------



## ptr

hpowders said:


> Site Feedback: When you leave TC, do you have to pay an exit fee?


Certainly, and it will be based on Your post count... Oy vey, they will cost You a Shekel each! (Cash only!)

/ptr


----------



## Dim7

Why aren't TC members paid for their posts? Isn't this a form of exploitation?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Why aren't TC members paid for their posts? Isn't this a form of exploitation?


I was wondering about that. I sure could use an extra $70,000 a year.


----------



## hpowders

ptr said:


> Certainly, and it will be based on Your post count... Oy vey, they will cost You a Shekel each! (Cash only!)
> 
> /ptr


I looked in ToS. It says nothing about an exit fee. I feel better now.


----------



## Posie

hpowders said:


> Site Feedback: When you leave TC, do you have to pay an exit fee?


Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Posie said:


> Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. :devil:


I already had no hope long before I joined TC.


----------



## Albert7

Apple Store post here in case anyone wants to know that TalkClassical can be accessed from a public venue.

And Lizst is on for April with boxing gloves.


----------



## Dim7

I'm disappointed. Since my first post in this thread only about 17% of the posts in this thread have been mine.


----------



## Albert7

Let us list all of the Talkclassical members whose names end in the number 7 here.


----------



## Celloman

Albert7 said:


> Let us list all of the Talkclassical members whose names end in the number 7 here.


So _that's_ why you changed your name!


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> So _that's_ why you changed your name!


Awwwww... and now for some terrible rapping by DMX over backup singers lip syncing Lizst.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me atonal piano sonatas in minor keys.


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Why aren't TC members paid for their posts? Isn't this a form of exploitation?


Shhh... a few members get paid here by each post... in fact, it's like clickable side ads on the internet.

Note that Chinese video game players get paid to play WoW.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> I already had no hope long before I joined TC.


Just have the 2 pennies for your eyes.


----------



## Albert7

It's a sunny day outside and right now I am listening to no classical music or no music at the moment. I feel dumb.


----------



## Dim7

"Dear Mods,

Is it against the ToS to refer to a TC member by his nickname if it's self-deprecating?"

by n00bMoron


----------



## Albert7

Are there violations of copyright to usernames with numerals after them? Will I see a lawsuit from Mozart against me if he calls himself Mozart 10?


----------



## Dim7

"Dear Mods,

Can I get infraction points for insulting myself? Or if I ask other TC people to insult me will they get infraction points?"

-iSuckAndDeserveToDie


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> "Dear Mods,
> 
> Can I get infraction points for insulting myself? Or if I ask other TC people to insult me will they get infraction points?"
> 
> -iSuckAndDeserveToDie


Self-abuse is a sin.


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Self-abuse is a sin.


Define Sin please.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Polyphemus said:


> Define Sin please.


Define "Please".


----------



## Polyphemus




----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> "Dear Mods,
> 
> Can I get infraction points for insulting myself? Or if I ask other TC people to insult me will they get infraction points?"
> 
> -iSuckAndDeserveToDie


I declare myself the body double for Dim7... I am an Albert 7 chord.


----------



## Polyphemus

MoonlightSonata said:


> Define "Please".


Define " " please


----------



## Dim7

Albert7 said:


> I declare myself the body double for Dim7... I am an Albert 7 chord.


Albert as in Albert Einstein?

Dim7 vs. Einstein7


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> Dim7 vs. Einstein7


Freud 49 by a mile.


----------



## Albert7

Polyphemus said:


> Freud 49 by a mile.


Freud 49 squared = Mendelssohn cubed.


----------



## Polyphemus

Oh so true but if he were diced sliced and served with a cold chablis, oh roll on summer.


----------



## Albert7

Polyphemus said:


> Oh so true but if he were diced sliced and served with a cold chablis, oh roll on summer.


Can I request the check please and then I can tip Clementi for his service?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: Should I change my name to MoonlightSonata42?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Should I change me name to MoonlightSonata42?


Indeed if you do, I promise to celebrate that quite a bit .


----------



## MoonlightSonata

I think the universe has been hacked. 13.37% of my posts have been on STI. *13.37*. 
D035 7h15 m34n 7h4t 1 4m 3xp3c73d t0 u53 num83r5 1n5734d 0f l3773r5 wh3np0571ng 0n 7h15 7hr34d?


----------



## Polyphemus

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Should I change me name to MoonlightSonata42?


But no one would know who you were anymore.


----------



## Albert7

Would Carmen and Don Jose open a bakery together in the happy ending version?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Polyphemus said:


> But no one would know who you were anymore.


Very true. Perhaps I should use MoonlightSonata41 instead, so that it is closer to my original name.


----------



## Dim7

This thread is about stupidity, not smartness. It is not a place to have an intelligent or meaningful conversation.

Please be stupid or the thread may be closed. Some posts have been removed.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dear Mods,
Instead of using red text when announcing official decisions, can you please use blue? It's so much more of an attractive colour.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> This thread is about stupidity, not smartness. It is not a place to have an intelligent or meaningful conversation.
> 
> Please be stupid or the thread may be closed. Some posts have been removed.


But...but we are already functioning at a cerebrally low level as per the ToS we all agreed to.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Dear Mods,
> Instead of using red text when announcing official decisions, can you please use blue? It's so much more of an attractive colour.


No sir. If you read the ToS you will see that the mods are authorized to use blood red for warnings. It's one of the reasons many of us became mods in the first place.


----------



## hpowders

*Interrogate him! Abuse him! Castigate him! Emasculate him!*

Post No.1: Hi there! Please list your 5 favorite composers and one great work from each.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Dear Mods,
> Instead of using red text when announcing official decisions, can you please use blue? It's so much more of an attractive colour.


They should use BLACK because black is an EVIL and SCARY color and fear is the only way to maintain authority!!11


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Albert as in Albert Einstein?
> 
> Dim7 vs.* Einstein*7


This is an insult to the very concept behind STI!!


----------



## hpowders

A little help please!!

Post no. 1: I saw a nice writeup for a Beethoven String Quartet, "BlueRay".

When did Beethoven write the "BlueRay" and where might I purchase a CD of it?


----------



## Albert7

Kicking it loose with LAN partiers and enjoying some marshmellow coasted Mozart pieces.


----------



## Dim7

Musicologists now agree: Beethoven intended all of his works as nothing but musical jokes.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The 4'33'' Thread*
Please keep it civil and polite.


----------



## Albert7

Pound bread cooked by chef Gordon Ramsey with the aid of the sousaphone for heating.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Telemann Experiment*
I intend to listen to every one of Telemann's 3,700 works, starting now, and shall not listen to anything else.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The Telemann Experiment*
> I intend to listen to every one of Telemann's 3,700 works, starting now, and shall not listen to anything else.


Pray Tele! Why???

I'll keep the Scarlatti complete sonata set safe for you when you get finished.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Pray Tele! Why???
> 
> I'll keep the Scarlatti complete sonata set safe for you when you get finished.


Thanks, he was next on my list. After that, I was planning to listen to Vivaldi's complete concerti (except for the Four Seasons, of course).


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The Telemann Experiment*
> I intend to listen to every one of Telemann's 3,700 works, starting now, and shall not listen to anything else.


If you are serious I can take you up on that.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> If you are serious I can take you up on that.


 Really?! 
I think Schittke would be much more interesting. I greatly admire your enthusiasm though!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Thanks, he was next on my list. After that, I was planning to listen to Vivaldi's complete concerti (except for the Four Seasons, of course).


I would listen too and believe me, I can't think of anything I would rather do than listen to Vivaldi or Scarlatti, but my contract says I have to remain here in the court jester section indefinitely.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> I would listen too and believe me, I can't think of anything I would rather do than listen to Vivaldi or Scarlatti, but my contract says I have to remain here in the court jester section indefinitely.


Here is a can of V8 in aerosol form for you to partake and enjoy.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"Stupid "Stupid Thread Ideas" Ideas".


----------



## MoonlightSonata

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Stupid "Stupid Thread Ideas" Ideas".


And, as an extension, "Stupid "Stupid "Stupid Thread Ideas" Ideas" Ideas".


----------



## hpowders

Poll question: Was Humperdinck the inspiration for Pumpernickel?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Poll question: Was Humperdinck the inspiration for Pumpernickel?


He was a humdinger that mr. humerdinck.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: Is this poll loaded?

Yes, and I'm an idiot.
No, and I am an amazing person and a truly valuable member of TC.


----------



## Celloman

Poll: Why are chromatic mediants purple?

1. Sixty-four, eighty-nine, three!
2. T'was brillig, and the slithy toves did gyle and gymbol in the wabe.
3. Circle radish equality
4. n#ue2*!bsY9O>c
5. Toi toi toi!
6. Celloman has really lost his marbles.


----------



## Albert7

The extended remix of 4' 33" with dubstep is now 8' 66".


----------



## Guest

A thread for stupidity, but not thread ideas.


----------



## Dim7

Divide the Stupid Thread Ideas -thread into different eras and explain the stylistic differences between them


----------



## Albert7

I know my big lesson last night why mixed drinks are a bad idea when listening to Bax symphonies.


----------



## Dim7

Second Viennese Kindergarten


----------



## Albert7

I am tempted to put on some Feldman to accompany these guys while they play Diablo III... what do you guys think?


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Second Viennese Kindergarten


----------



## Albert7

Mahlerian said:


>


Oooooooo... Pwned! 

Okay, Red Bull is a terrible drink... the choice drink for anyone who bears it is omg.


----------



## Dim7

WTF is that gibberish those kids are blabbering. Are they just blurting random phoemes out of their mouth?? Why can't they talk in an actual language that is like, you know, comprehensible and has some patterns, like Japanese?


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> WTF is that gibberish those kids are blabbering. Are they just blurting random phoemes out of their mouth?? Why can't they talk in an actual language that is like, you know, comprehensible and has some patterns, like Japanese?


Having a soprano learn her lines in German when the original libretto was in Japanese. Ooopsies!


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> WTF is that gibberish those kids are blabbering. Are they just blurting random phoemes out of their mouth?? Why can't they talk in an actual language that is like, you know, comprehensible and has some patterns, like Japanese?


Take this guy, then.


----------



## Albert7

Mahlerian said:


> Take this guy, then.


Or why not this?


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed!!

Post no. 1: I love Samuel Barber's music but will they laugh at me because I want to do a "Barber Poll" or are most members here so dense they wouldn't even notice the keen word play?


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Help Needed!!
> 
> Post no. 1: I love Samuel Barber's music but will they laugh at me because I want to do a "Barber Poll" or are most members here *so dense they wouldn't even notice the keen word play*?


Only because that is (as far as I can tell) an Anglo-Saxon symbol.


----------



## hpowders

*Was Charles Ives an anti-semite?*

Post no.1: I was shocked to hear a Jews Harp; yes you read me correctly, a Jews Harp being played as part of Charles Ives' Washington's Birthday. Where's the outrage?
I demand the 12 people throughout the world listening to this piece immediately boycott it to send an appropriate message.
What say you?


----------



## hpowders

TalkingHead said:


> Only because that is (as far as I can tell) an Anglo-Saxon symbol.


My roots are Poland, Russia and thousands of years ago, the Sinai Desert.


----------



## Albert7

How to take a nap using examples from Webern played backwards because of a defective mp3 player that does everything backwards.


----------



## Albert7

I am trying to apply for a patent on some of these stupid classical music ideas so no one can just cut and paste my posts here into their own posts. That includes banning all quoting of me.


----------



## Celloman

This doesn't count, does it?



Albert7 said:


> I am trying to apply for a patent on some of these stupid classical music ideas so no one can just cut and paste my posts here into their own posts. That includes banning all quoting of me.





Albert7 said:


> I am trying to apply for a patent on some of these stupid classical music ideas so no one can just cut and paste my posts here into their own posts. That includes banning all quoting of me.





Albert7 said:


> I am trying to apply for a patent on some of these stupid classical music ideas so no one can just cut and paste my posts here into their own posts. That includes banning all quoting of me.


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> This doesn't count, does it?


omg, you violated my patents! No. 4325, 2143-4, and 543-123. You are condemned to 200 hours of community service of Mozart listening with 2 year olds.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> omg, you violated my patents! No. 4325, 2143-4, and 543-123. You are condemned to 200 hours of community service of Mozart listening with 2 year olds.


*


Albert7 said:



omg, you violated my patents! No. 4325, 2143-4, and 543-123. You are condemned to 200 hours of community service of Mozart listening with 2 year olds.

Click to expand...

*

_


Albert7 said:



omg, you violated my patents! No. 4325, 2143-4, and 543-123. You are condemned to 200 hours of community service of Mozart listening with 2 year olds.

Click to expand...

_



Albert7 said:


> omg, you violated my patents! No. 4325, 2143-4, and 543-123. You are condemned to 200 hours of community service of Mozart listening with 2 year olds.



...................................................


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *
> *
> 
> _
> _
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...................................................


J'accuse... you also a parole violator 

Just noted... quoting quotes here on TC = Cage's 4' 33" score.


----------



## Guest

Why you're wrong.


----------



## Guest

Eurovision Song Contest. _*Why?*_


----------



## millionrainbows

In another blatant attempt to make classical music "relevant" to today's audience, we have *Renee Fleming sings the Katy Perry Songbook.*


----------



## Dim7

Of all the 2125 TC members who is your 2125th favorite? Mine is (username).

Hey! Why did I get infraction points for calling somebody one of my favorite TC members??


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> My roots are Poland, Russia and thousands of years ago, the Sinai Desert.


A well travelled man then, though what the hell were your antecedent's doing in the Sinai.


----------



## Dim7

*Trolling tips*

What methods of trolling have TC members found effective and ineffective? On the other hand you have to be provocative enough and on the other hand you have to avoid getting too many infraction points and having your posts deleted (at least too fast). My favorite tactic is to emphasize repeatedly how I "don't exaclty love" a certain poster - not loving somebody can hardly be against the ToS right? I'd also appreciate some advice from the moderating team - what kind of trolling is too obvious for you to not penalize, and what are examples of cases "not strictly against the rules but this is sure to provoke some intense reactions"?

*Mahlerian*: I can't speak for the other mods but if you just praise Mahler(ian) or Schoenberg in your post I'll probably turn a blind eye.
*
TresPics*: My bearded avatar gives the impression of an old, wise man so my trollings are never interpreted as such.
*
MoonlightSonata*: Mods go easy on me because of my age. I suggest registering under different username and lying you're the same age as me or younger. I sometimes have my posts deleted but I never get infraction points or banned.

*hpowders*: The moderators are so dumb they actually think I'm Leonard Bernstein. Lenny himself trolling at TC is obviously too funny for them to intervene.


----------



## Albert7

I woke up this morning and didn't have a stupid thing to say about classical music. Now that's just dumb isn't it? ;p


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> What methods of trolling have TC members found effective and ineffective? On the other hand you have to be provocative enough and on the other hand you have to avoid getting too many infraction points and having your posts deleted (at least too fast). My favorite tactice is to emphasize repeatedly how I "don't exaclty love" a certain poster - not loving somebody can hardly be against the ToS right? I'd also appreciate some advice from the moderating team - what kind of trolling is too obvious for you to not penalize, and what are examples of cases "not strictly against the rules but this is sure to provoke some intense reactions"?
> 
> *Mahlerian*: I can't speak for the other mods but if you just praise Mahler(ian) or Schoenberg in your post I'll probably turn a blind eye.
> *
> TresPics*: My bearded avatar gives the impression of an old, wise man so my trollings are never interpreted as such.
> *
> MoonlightSonata*: Mods go easy on me because of my age. I suggest registering under different username and lying you're the same age as me or younger. I sometimes have my posts deleted but I never get infraction points or banned.
> 
> *hpowders*: The moderators are so dumb they actually think I'm Leonard Bernstein. Lenny himself trolling at TC is obviously too funny for them to intervene.


What and you didn't even feature me? Curses!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> What methods of trolling have TC members found effective and ineffective? On the other hand you have to be provocative enough and on the other hand you have to avoid getting too many infraction points and having your posts deleted (at least too fast). My favorite tactice is to emphasize repeatedly how I "don't exaclty love" a certain poster - not loving somebody can hardly be against the ToS right? I'd also appreciate some advice from the moderating team - what kind of trolling is too obvious for you to not penalize, and what are examples of cases "not strictly against the rules but this is sure to provoke some intense reactions"?
> 
> *Mahlerian*: I can't speak for the other mods but if you just praise Mahler(ian) or Schoenberg in your post I'll probably turn a blind eye.
> *
> TresPics*: My bearded avatar gives the impression of an old, wise man so my trollings are never interpreted as such.
> *
> MoonlightSonata*: Mods go easy on me because of my age. I suggest registering under different username and lying you're the same age as me or younger. I sometimes have my posts deleted but I never get infraction points or banned.
> 
> *hpowders*: The moderators are so dumb they actually think I'm Leonard Bernstein. Lenny himself trolling at TC is obviously too funny for them to intervene.


*Dim7*: Since I make so many posts on Stupid Thread Ideas, the mods think I'm just kidding when I insult people.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> How did you know I'm an idiot?!
> 
> I haven't written that anywhere. Are you spying on me or something?


Dostoevsky told me.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> What methods of trolling have TC members found effective and ineffective? On the other hand you have to be provocative enough and on the other hand you have to avoid getting too many infraction points and having your posts deleted (at least too fast). My favorite tactice is to emphasize repeatedly how I "don't exaclty love" a certain poster - not loving somebody can hardly be against the ToS right? I'd also appreciate some advice from the moderating team - what kind of trolling is too obvious for you to not penalize, and what are examples of cases "not strictly against the rules but this is sure to provoke some intense reactions"?
> 
> *Mahlerian*: I can't speak for the other mods but if you just praise Mahler(ian) or Schoenberg in your post I'll probably turn a blind eye.
> *
> TresPics*: My bearded avatar gives the impression of an old, wise man so my trollings are never interpreted as such.
> *
> MoonlightSonata*: Mods go easy on me because of my age. I suggest registering under different username and lying you're the same age as me or younger. I sometimes have my posts deleted but I never get infraction points or banned.
> 
> *hpowders*: The moderators are so dumb they actually think I'm Leonard Bernstein. Lenny himself trolling at TC is obviously too funny for them to intervene.


I palpitated when I first saw this. I thought I was gone!


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> I palpitated when I first saw this. I thought I was gone!


Dr. Who kidnapped you in his Tardis. You are now a hostage to Rach 4.


----------



## Lord Lance

Albert7 said:


> Dr. Who kidnapped you in his Tardis. You are now a hostage to Rach 4.[/QUOTE_*]
> 
> The Doctor.*_
> 
> Not Dr. Who. _Ever._


----------



## TresPicos

Breathing air: what are your experiences, and which is your favorite - breathing in our breathing out?

Overly attached classical music listeners

Even or odd game - think of a number, then have the next poster guess if the number is even or odd, and then you reveal the number, and if the user was correct, he or she can think of a number etc etc. 

Ibert, Ives or Ippolitov-Ivanov - who is the most French (nationality-wise)?

Negativity as motivation in classical music - atonal music explained

Guitars - could they be used in classical music as well, and if so, why aren't they, and if they are, why didn't I know about it?


----------



## Albert7

Don't drink Corona beer while listening to Rach 3... spilled it once on my keyboard and it fizzed out.


----------



## Dim7

Albert7 said:


> Don't drink Corona beer while listening to Rach 3... spilled it once on my keyboard and it fizzed out.


You already have your own diary thread plus the random thoughts thread. Does STI have to be your diary too?


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> You already have your own diary thread plus the random thoughts thread. Does STI have to be your diary too?


Indeed... because I am not dumb enough to post banned thoughts of Albert in my own diary when it can be used against me. Especially if I have to reveal the secret of life of Lizst... remember anything you say can be used against you, for you, and over you.


----------



## TresPicos

Poll: how are riots quelled during rehearsals in your orchestra?
- harsh words and public ridicule
- collective punishment
- flogging
- expulsion
- musical chairs

Fumbles during concerts - if someone in the violin section drops his violin on the floor, can, say, a flute player then pick it up and run with it?

I'm starting my new job as a sales rep next Monday, and they've told me that I need to have a good sales pitch, so I wanted to check with you people if you think my bass-baritone vocal range would be good enough, or if I need to go a bit higher to really sell well, and also what sales timbre I should use. 

Zebras - wouldn't it be cheaper or at least more magnanimous to use them instead of horses in classical music?

Easily distinguishable but not so easily extinguishable feelings that you have felt watching operas, and by which way of transportation you returned home afterwards, statistically speaking. 

Recommend me things that I will like.


----------



## hpowders

Can great posters ever go nuts around here?

Please list anecdotal examples.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Can great posters ever go nuts around here?
> 
> Please list anecdotal examples.


I am certified loony... I am in hyperdrive right now.


----------



## SimonNZ

_*housekeeping*: all mention of "trousers" on TC have been changed to "unmentionables"

oh wait...damn_


----------



## Albert7

SimonNZ said:


> _*housekeeping*: all mention of "trousers" on TC have been changed to "unmentionables"
> 
> oh wait...damn_


does that mean all trouser roles will be housekeepers in future productions?


----------



## TresPicos

Sign up for the big TalkClassical lottery, by transfering $10,000 to my PayPal account! Enormous wealth awaits one of you! As of know, 126 members are participating, and as soon as we reach 1000 participants, I will draw a random number from a hat, and the winner will receive $10 million (minus fees). Really, this is no joke! Sign up before it's too late!


----------



## hpowders

PayPal has no TresPicos account. I felt like a fool being told that.


----------



## Albert7

TresPicos said:


> Sign up for the big TalkClassical lottery, by transfering $10,000 to my PayPal account! Enormous wealth awaits one of you! As of know, 126 members are participating, and as soon as we reach 1000 participants, I will draw a random number from a hat, and the winner will receive $10 million (minus fees). Really, this is no joke! Sign up before it's too late!


I promise to Paypal you if you are willing to give a million dollar iTunes gift card so that I can clear out their opera inventory online.


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> PayPal has no TresPicos account. I felt like a fool being told that.


Strange... It should work.

Perhaps you can send me the details of your bank account instead, and then I can transfer the money for you.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Sign up for the big TalkClassical lottery, by transfering $10,000 to my PayPal account! Enormous wealth awaits one of you! As of know, 126 members are participating, and as soon as we reach 1000 participants, I will draw a random number from a hat, and the winner will receive $10 million (minus fees). Really, this is no joke! Sign up before it's too late!


I signed down after it was too early enough. Did I something wrong?


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Strange... It should work.
> 
> Perhaps you can send me the details of your bank account instead, and then I can transfer the money for you.


It will arrive at the main Copenhagen post office. I'll be staying at the D'Angleterre.


----------



## Albert7

TresPicos said:


> Strange... It should work.
> 
> Perhaps you can send me the details of your bank account instead, and then I can transfer the money for you.


I attempted that... looks like it's connected to a Cancun bank account associated with a bunch of Shosta-goons from the mafia all wearing top hats.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: What is your favorite part of the sonata-allegro form?

1.Nitro
2.Explosion
3.Envelopment
4.Capitulation
5.Cobra


----------



## Albert7

Cooking with that secret Mozart Mickey D's sauce on my meat tonight... scherzo-phenic mayonnaise and beer and yellow mustard sauce.


----------



## KenOC

Dim7 said:


> Poll: What is your favorite part of the sonata-allegro form?


We need a poll! And don't forget the other parts:

- the Adagibidache (the really slow part)
- The Scuzzy (kind of a dance)
- And of course the Rambo, usually coming at the end.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Dim7 said:


> Poll: What is your favorite part of the sonata-allegro form?
> 
> 1.Nitro
> 2.Explosion
> 3.Envelopment
> 4.Capitulation
> 5.Cobra


All of them, so long as they contain lots of decapitated seventh chords.


----------



## Dim7

The Rambo-form is for dumbasses, while sonata-allegro (can anyone provide a militaristic distortion of this?) form actually involves some strategy.


----------



## Albert7

SeptimalTritone said:


> All of them, so long as they contain lots of decapitated seventh chords.


Salome's time to lug out her guilotine (sp?) for the head of John the Baptist...ohoh watch out.


----------



## SimonNZ

Any "weapons-hot"-dogfight recordings of Stockhausen's Helicopter Quartet?


----------



## Albert7

Perrier gains sponsorship of their water supply from the Vivaldi Foundation for Masonry.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Perrier gains sponsorship of their water supply from the Vivaldi Foundation for Masonry.


Please do explain this one, I don't understand it.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Are incomprehensible "modernist" thread ideas responsible for the decline of public interest in STI?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Please do explain this one, I don't understand it.


I didn't understand it either. I was cooking dinner so I wasn't able to put a coherent thought while focusing on the stove top.

My mind wanders around while hearing Mahler


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> I didn't understand it either. I was cooking dinner so I wasn't able to put a coherent thought while focusing on the stove top.
> 
> My mind wanders around while hearing Mahler


Right... why exactly were you on STI while cooking dinner? Isn't it rather dangerous to cook on a hot stove while your mind is wandering?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Right... why exactly were you on STI while cooking dinner? Isn't it rather dangerous to cook on a hot stove while your mind is wandering?


I am a very good risk taker when it comes to cooking in fact. Classical music is that important that I know how to sear Chinese BBQ beef like the Bobby Flay of Beethoven


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> I am a very good risk taker when it comes to cooking in fact. Classical music is that important that I know how to sear Chinese BBQ beef like the Bobby Flay of Beethoven


I'm not doubting your cooking ability, but cooking on a stove while your mind is wandering and unable to put a thought together sounds like a recipe for disaster


----------



## SimonNZ

...and may lead to "I didn't understand it either" results - which doesn't really do anyone any good


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> I'm not doubting your cooking ability, but cooking on a stove while your mind is wandering and unable to put a thought together sounds like a recipe for disaster


It is but I have ADHD so I get distracted easily... I am very lucky to never have a fire on the stove before but there's always a time for the first.

If things burn down, I promise you it is worthy of my involvement with the STI fight club.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

MoonlightSonata's Own Personal Current Listening

MoonlightSonata's Own Personal Stupid Thread Ideas

MoonlightSonata's Own Personal Classical Music Project


----------



## Kivimees

It is a little reminiscent of a certain television personality:


----------



## Dim7

Sexually Transmitted Ideas

 Prudest forum I've ever seen 
_Why they won't let me post my **** jokes_

Thoughts on italicizing and bolding spaces in your sentences


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Sexually Transmitted Ideas


Stupid Thread Infections


----------



## Albert7

I am allergic to classical music. Been sneezing a lot tonight.


----------



## SimonNZ

Albert7 said:


> I am allergic to classical music. Been sneezing a lot tonight.


Seriously, Albert...you know that the purpose of this thread is not for alerting everyone to the important information that you _sneezed._

Why are you doing this?


----------



## Albert7

SimonNZ said:


> Seriously, Albert...you know that the purpose of this thread is not for alerting everyone to the important information that you _sneezed._
> 
> Why are you doing this?


Because I am that dumb which is why STI is my treehouse hanging out place. My IQ points just dropped after tons of napping too.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Site Feedback: When you leave TC, do you have to pay an exit fee?


No but you have to take the exit exam. Since there's the entrance exam the opposite must exist as well for balance.


----------



## SimonNZ

Albert7 said:


> Because I am that dumb which is why STI is my treehouse hanging out place. My IQ points just dropped after tons of napping too.


As I understand it you have TinyChat as your "hanging out place", and you've also been given - for reasons I can't fathom - your very own vanity thread. Is it really necessary to be playing these pointless games that completely disregard the other members all over the CM Discussion forum for no other discernible reason than upping your post count (whatever that proves)?

Do you really want us to have to start thinking of you as a _pariah_?


----------



## Sloe

SimonNZ said:


> As I understand it you have TinyChat as your "hanging out place", and you've also been given - for reasons I can't fathom - your very own vanity thread. Is it really necessary to be playing these pointless games that completely disregard the other members all over the CM Discussion forum for no other discernible reason than upping your post count (whatever that proves)?
> 
> Do you really want us to have to start thinking of you as a _pariah_?


Let him have fun. At least someone is posting and remember he has ADHD so he is probably hyperactive.


----------



## TresPicos

Do you have to transpose down American music by 32 Hz to make it sound right if it's being played in Europe, since we use the Celcius scale here?

Ireland and other islands named after composers

Scream game: scream at the top of your lungs, and then post what you screamed

NATO favorites - list your top 10 classical music works from countries who are members of NATO

Equality of keys - how do we ensure that more works are written in keys like G flat minor, or is it too late to fix now that all new music is atonal, so that we instead will have to "retire" a lot of works written in keys like C major?

Your top 100 lucky numbers


----------



## SimonNZ

Sloe said:


> Let him have fun. At least someone is posting and remember he has ADHD so he is probably hyperactive.


^I disagree with three parts of that. But I've said everything I have to say.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Post has been deleted*


----------



## Albert7

It's late and I may have run out of stupid things to say for the early morning... Funny indeed.

I could say something about Brahms but let's not.


----------



## Dim7

Albert7 said:


> It's late and I may have run out of stupid things to say for the early morning... Funny indeed.
> 
> I could say something about Brahms but let's not.


So you have nothing stupid to say and that's the joke? AHAHAHAHH haven't heard that one before!!


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> So you have nothing stupid to say and that's the joke? AHAHAHAHH haven't heard that one before!!


Indeed plus I probably should be sleeping by now and that I could be very dumb for staying up up .


----------



## TresPicos

Should we have a "panic button" here at TalkClassical? Think about it at least. All other forums where I'm a member have a panic button, so why can't we? Recently, I've been discussing this with the moderators, but they are just telling me that they will look into it, which I guess is moderator-speak for "don't hold your breath".

Buttons that I've seen in other forums are usually big and red and situated in the top right corner, and if you press them, you effectively freeze the whole forum for a while so that no one can post until the moderators switch everything on again, just in case you have a panic attack for not being able to keep up with all the new posts.

Unfortunately, the panic button functionality could be abused, and I've seen other forums regularly coming to a standstill because of it, but I don't think that would happen here at TalkClassical. Clearly, we are all mature individuals and I'm sure no one here would press the panic button if they really weren't panicky. Knowingly, at least, because you could of course click on it by mistake, but I don't think that will happen either.

So, what do you think?


----------



## Albert7

TresPicos said:


> Should we have a "panic button" here at TalkClassical? Think about it at least. All other forums where I'm a member have a panic button, so why can't we? Recently, I've been discussing this with the moderators, but they are just telling me that they will look into it, which I guess is moderator-speak for "don't hold your breath".
> 
> Buttons that I've seen in other forums are usually big and red and situated in the top right corner, and if you press them, you effectively freeze the whole forum for a while so that no one can post until the moderators switch everything on again, just in case you have a panic attack for not being able to keep up with all the new posts.
> 
> Unfortunately, the panic button functionality could be abused, and I've seen other forums regularly coming to a standstill because of it, but I don't think that would happen here at TalkClassical. Clearly, we are all mature individuals and I'm sure no one here would press the panic button if they really weren't panicky. Knowingly, at least, because you could of course click on it by mistake, but I don't think that will happen either.
> 
> So, what do you think?


There is no doubt that Staples had a red button alarm they sold a few years ago and I bet that you could apply that to TC here.


----------



## Ingélou

SimonNZ said:


> As I understand it you have TinyChat as your "hanging out place", and you've also been given - for reasons I can't fathom - your very own vanity thread. Is it really necessary to be playing these pointless games that completely disregard the other members all over the CM Discussion forum for no other discernible reason than upping your post count (whatever that proves)?
> 
> Do you really want us to have to start thinking of you as a _pariah_?





Albert7 said:


> Because I am that dumb which is why STI is my treehouse hanging out place. My IQ points just dropped after tons of napping too.





SimonNZ said:


> Seriously, Albert...you know that the purpose of this thread is not for alerting everyone to the important information that you _sneezed._
> 
> Why are you doing this?





Sloe said:


> Let him have fun. At least someone is posting and remember he has ADHD so he is probably hyperactive.


'At least someone *is* posting?' - true enough! 
But others like to have fun too, & sorry though I am about the ADHD, surely the forum exists for us *all*?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> No but you have to take the exit exam. Since there's the entrance exam the opposite must exist as well for balance.


I'm on my third retake.


----------



## Dim7

hEres soMe WAcKY and CRAZZY ideas LOlslololo romgz rofl

ketchup on Bach Symphonies while chasing aliens

banjo-monsters of Canada to rockn'roll 

cleaning household while deconstructing yo mama


----------



## Guest

Call the Caffeine Police.


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> I'm on my third retake.


Good luck!

Me, I tried to leave TC once just by simply not posting anymore, but after one week of no posting I started receiving unpleasant emails and letters, and after one month two moderators showed up at the front door telling me that if it really was my intention to leave TC, it would be in my best interest to do so by taking that exit exam, so now I'm studying hard so that I can soon regain my freedom.


----------



## Dim7

I tried retaking the entrance exam and intentionally flunking it but the mods weren't fooled


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> *Post has been deleted*


My enemies on TC have "liked" whenever I post this.


----------



## hpowders

*Vote For Me!!!*

Post no. 1: If you do so, I promise as new chief of TC to limit posting to 13 posts a day for everyone, no questions asked.
Anyone attempting a 14th post will receive a warning.
Anyone attempting a 14th post a second time will receive a 30 day "time out".


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> I tried retaking the entrance exam and intentionally flunking it but the mods weren't fooled


Oh no! I was about to do that!


----------



## Guest

Sounds like Dim is implying that the leadership might be "well _re_a_d_"


----------



## hpowders

nathanb said:


> Sounds like Dim is implying that the leadership might be "well _re_a_d_"


A bold leap of faith?


----------



## Guest

Your quote ruined my crucial italics! Blast!


----------



## hpowders

nathanb said:


> Your quote ruined my crucial italics! Blast!


I just learned something. When you bring down a quote, italics don't come with it, it seems. I didn't change your italics.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> I just learned something. When you bring down a quote, italics don't come with it, it seems. I didn't change your italics.


But by the very act of quoting, you did.

However, I saw your signature for the first time and acquired an inner giggle, so you are forgiven this once.


----------



## hpowders

nathanb said:


> But by the very act of quoting, you did.
> 
> However, I saw your signature for the first time and acquired an inner giggle, so you are forgiven this once.


 Thanks. I didn't think anyone even noticed.
The signature came from Cicero, using the iPad prototype in days of yesteryear, typing, "Veni, Vidi, Posti".
Words that inspire my model for living to this day, from so many, many, many, many, many years ago.


----------



## millionrainbows

Chinese vs. German hardware in Cage's prepared piano pieces: There really is a difference


----------



## millionrainbows

Headline: PETA disrupts Smithsonian Chamber Players concert over their use of gut strings


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me other competing forums 

Recommend me some good ad homs

Recommend me some racial slurs

Recommend me some baiting techniques


----------



## Albert7

Let's see if I can spend a whole day without posting in STI?


----------



## Guest

Playing naked: the pros and cons.


----------



## Guest

Albert7 said:


> Let's see if I can spend a whole day without posting in STI?


Let's see if you can spend a whole year without posting more than 50 times per day?


----------



## Dim7

Should we limit the number of limit breaks per day that one member is allowed to use?


----------



## Levanda

Should advance forum members banned, because their know too much. :lol:


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Orchestral transcriptions of String Quartets

Should we be allowed to _fiddle_ around with a composer's original vision?

:wave:


----------



## MagneticGhost

Inspired by TalkingHeads naked thread idea

Posting Naked - Is it an extreme sport?

Is it unethical to listen to Sacred Music naked?

If I dance naked to the Rite of Spring - can I be arrested - or does it depend on which State I live in?


----------



## arpeggio

MagneticGhost said:


> Inspired by TalkingHeads naked thread idea
> 
> If I dance naked to the Rite of Spring - can I be arrested - or does it depend on which State I live in?


I could not let this go. Check out following post from Couac Addict: http://www.talkclassical.com/34392-rite-stuff.html#post733608


----------



## hpowders

Levanda said:


> Should advance forum members banned, because their know too much. :lol:


Heck, then I woulda been banned on day 2!


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Should we limit the number of limit breaks per day that one member is allowed to use?


PM: I notice you've been posting on TC quite a lot these days. I've submitted the evidence to the Restrictive Posting Committee.

We simply do not tolerate excessive enthusiasm around here. Read the ToS.


----------



## MagneticGhost

arpeggio said:


> I could not let this go. Check out following post from Couac Addict: http://www.talkclassical.com/34392-rite-stuff.html#post733608


I just watched a few minutes of the 2nd clip. :lol:
Disturbing!!

Looking forward to watching the first one a bit later. Thanks for linking. Surprised the thread was so short!


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> I notice you've been posting on TC quite a lot these days. I've submitted the evidence to the Restrictive Posting Committee.
> 
> We simply do not tolerate excessive enthusiasm around here. Read the ToS.


Yeah, but what if my prolific posting is of cynical nature? If I just criticize and put everyone down and mock people for being so excited about everything.


----------



## Blancrocher

Hold on a minute, now--how do we not have a naked-musician thread on the open board?


----------



## hpowders

If Prokofiev's Third Concerto is so much better than his Second, why didn't he simply compose the Third Concerto in the first place?


----------



## MagneticGhost

Blancrocher said:


> Hold on a minute, now--how do we not have a naked-musician thread on the open board?


Make it so No.2


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Yeah, but what if my prolific posting is of cynical nature? If I just criticize and put everyone down and mock people for being so excited about everything.


Yes, that's fine. That complies with the ToS. Sorry!

It's a good thing the entry wasn't made into the mainframe TC computer. Once that's done, it's irrevocable.


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> Hold on a minute, now--how do we not have a naked-musician thread on the open board?


It should be posted on the "Premium Members Only" section.


----------



## Levanda

Is rep music relating to art song. Seems is silly but maybe in future will be.


----------



## hpowders

Levanda said:


> Is rep music relating to art song. Seems is silly but maybe in future will be.


It will never happen!


----------



## Dim7

Dear mods,

I lack self-control and sense of direction in my life. Would you mind moderating my real life activities? You could perhaps spy me through my smartphone and notify me when I'm saying something you consider inapprorpiate. Also regulations on how I must spend my free-time would be appreciated.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Dear mods,
> 
> I lack self-control and sense of direction in my life. Would you mind moderating my real life activities? You could perhaps spy me through my smartphone and notify me when I'm saying something you consider inapprorpiate. Also regulations on how I must spend my free-time would be appreciated.


Of course. For your own sake, though, we will need your credit card details and smartphone password.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Composer tabloids: You'll never guess why Schoenberg never smiles for the camera. Find out his secret on page 12!


----------



## Guest

You forgot the picture where Schoenberg even frowns in the midst of his greatest passion.... ping pong!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Of course. For your own sake, though, we will need your credit card details and smartphone password.


Smart-phones for STI charter members? A conflict of interest, no?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!

Post No.1: Hi. I'm new here on TC. I can't seem to find the Sticky that instructs posters on how to set up multiple accounts with different tag names. I want to experience TC to the max!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Composer tabloids: You'll never guess why Schoenberg never smiles for the camera. Find out his secret on page 12!


its becos he wrote atonality if you write atonality you will be ANGRY with the world!!!!!


----------



## SimonNZ

Possible explanation for the non-smiling Schoenberg:


----------



## Albert7

Albert7 said:


> Let's see if I can spend a whole day without posting in STI?


Welcome guys... I have spent 24 hours without posting here which was a smart idea but now I have returned to the netherworld of stupidity.

Here you guys go... This is Feldman's rival to his six hour string quartet... ten hours of ambient minimalism at its height.


----------



## TresPicos

"A penny for your thoughts" - a game where one user transfers $0.01 to another user's PayPal account, and then that user will have to write a post telling the first user what he was thinking of at that time, after which he will then transfer $0.01 to another user etc. 

Pagination - the causes, the basics and how it revolutionized classical music

Poll: how many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
- none
- one
- two
- more than two
- other
- the issue cannot be settled without taking into account certain weather phenomena

Levees of thought transcending nonessential paradigmatic shifts along boundaries of contemporary mindsets vs funny cats - which do you prefer?

Excessively barbaric and malevolent instruments - which ones are you most afraid of? (me: bassoon! )


----------



## Albert7

"Nope. After we fully realize the potential of your technology, we execute your race to extinction and burn your cities to annihilation and we restart all species on Earth.

For Bear!"

--Lord Lance

All of this to the sounds of the helicopters and the Ride of the Valkiyres (sp?)


----------



## Albert7

nathanb said:


> Let's see if you can spend a whole year without posting more than 50 times per day?


I am willing to bargain with you on this... if you allow each one of my posts to be equivalent of 50 times the value of the regular post then this would work, wouldn't it?

And also allow me to listen to every single Mahler cycle until the end of 2015.


----------



## echo

who other than Gesualdo sold their soul ?


----------



## arpeggio

How do I come up with an original STI without having to read through the previous 3,603 posts?


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> How do I come up with an original STI without having to read through the previous 3,603 posts?


Fear not, for the same reason no-one will spot a repetition. Except possibly Dim...


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Fear not, for the same reason no-one will spot a repetition. Except possibly Dim...


Hey, I can't be the only one who has read this thread from the first to last page over **** times.

_Last edited by Dim7's Personal Moderator; Today at 18:08. Reason: The number of times censored for your own good._


----------



## millionrainbows

It was said that Hildegard von Bingen heard voices...so she wrote them down!


----------



## millionrainbows

An obscure passage in one of Schoenberg's late works, still unpublished, which spells out R-O-G-A-I-N-E.


----------



## Albert7

arpeggio said:


> How do I come up with an original STI without having to read through the previous 3,603 posts?


No worries we are coming up with the STI Cliff Notes so you can cheat on reading exams while listening to Bruckner without any compunction.


----------



## Guest

Poll: Are all living composers total fools like Boulez and Cage, or is it just some of them?

* Yes
* No
* Unsure


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> Poll: Are all living composers total fools like Boulez and Cage, or is it just some of them?
> 
> * Yes
> * No
> * Unsure


Boulez said he wanted to burn down all of the opera houses yet he offers me a seat at Parsifal. Such a postmodern prankster!


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed:

Post No. 1: All you multi-taskers: help me improve! I like to read and listen to music at the same time, but I can't seem to concentrate fully on either one when I attempt this. I do so want to fit in and don't want to be called a nerd.
What skills can I employ to become a more fluent multi-tasker?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Help Needed:
> 
> Post No. 1: All you multi-taskers: help me improve! I like to read and listen to music at the same time, but I can't seem to concentrate fully on either one when I attempt this. I do so want to fit in and don't want to be called a nerd.
> What skills can I employ to become a more fluent multi-tasker?


Act in this way. Secret is to get an iPhone 6 so you can post on the go while riding in a bus or car while listening to Mozart. Secret is about fifty percent will be executed in mobile post. And a smartphone with a larger screen means that you can pen your essays on the run while jogging. Works like magic.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

My new scheme for naming notes: in order for all composers to have monograms, we give every note in the octave an alphabetical name and then all the notes of the next octave.
This will leave Y and Z without notes but to Zemlinsky, Tchaikovsky, Stravinsky, Bizet, Boulez and Mozart I say: tough luck!


----------



## Albert7

Due to the impending Great Fire of 2016, all manuscripts of illumination including the Eton texts will be saved by packing those up and sending out to space in the long awaited planned launch of Voyager 3 in September 2015. Bears will not overtake humanity and eradicate our Mozart and Brahms despite what the ursine soothsayers allude to.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Due to the impending Great Fire of 2016, all manuscripts of illumination including the Eton texts will be saved by packing those up and sending out to space in the long awaited planned launch of Voyager 3 in September 2015. *Bears will not overtake humanity and eradicate our Mozart and Brahms despite what the ursine soothsayers allude to.*


Well, that's a relief.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Well, that's a relief.


Indeed... I've been quite worried about the bear invasion and stockpiling lots of iTunes albums just in case the servers go down.

"We shall not disclose our methods for that would be foolish but we will let you puny humans now that upon your imminent defeat, all of you shall be publicly beheaded. Men, then women and then finally children.

Dogs will keep the senior-most positions along with bears."

--Lord Lance

I have made a quick playlist of the albums I have to keep including Carlos Kleiber, Sol Gabetta, Helene Grimaud, Valentina Lisitsa, S. Richter, Martha Argerich, etc. in case these treasures are banned just like Entartete Musik under The Third Reich. Bears are ferocious enough that I have to get steel-reinforced hard drives just in case.


----------



## Dim7

Should we limit the number of times per day Dim7 is allowed to view the STI -thread?


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Should we limit the number of times per day Dim7 is allowed to view the STI -thread?


That would be impossible as STI is like methadone which is a palliative for your nimble fingers. May your verbal joustings with Brahms scholars be fruitful to the maximum today.


----------



## arpeggio

If I do not understand a thread does that mean I have to take another break????


----------



## Albert7

Ugh, I have been informed that the Apple Store iTunes is down via another TC poster here and it looks like the bear prophecy has come true . I won't be able to procure the Feldman albums that I need for my scholarly study.


----------



## Lord Lance

151 reasons Opera Houses should be replaced with Music Hall of Fames.....


----------



## Albert7

Lord Lance said:


> 151 reasons Opera Houses should be replaced with Music Hall of Fames.....


Read an article about Pierre Boulez or an interview with Boulez in the
popular press and odds are good that the first thing the interviewer or
author of the article will tell you is that Boulez once suggested blowing up
the opera houses. Denunciation of the very institutions the young artist
hopes to conquer was a well entrenched French Romantic tradition long before
Boulez ever suggested blowing up the opera houses, and Berlioz had already
advocated burning down the Opéra in the 1830's--just as Monet and the
Impressionists would later advocate burning down the Louvre. 
Furthermore--and unfortunately for Boulez's reputation as an anarchist bent
on destroying Western civilization--virtually everybody quotes Boulez out of
context.

In the interview--now more than 40 years old--where Boulez suggested blowing
up the opera houses, he specifically complained about the low performance
standards and inadequately rehearsed productions all too common (or so he
felt) at opera houses during the period (the mid-60's), and particularly at
the Opéra in Paris, where, apparently, a production of Faust dating from
before World War I was still routinely trotted out. Boulez knew perfectly
well that his remarks were incendiary, but what he actually suggested was
blowing up the opera houses and replacing them with new modern theatres that
would take advantage of all the latest technological advances in stage
machinery and theatre production. In 1968, Boulez, Maurice Béjart, and Jean
Vilar drew up a proposal for just such a new opera house and submitted it to
then French President François Mitterand. Mitterand greeted the proposal
with enthusiasm, although actual construction of the house, the Opéra
Bastille, only began in 1984. It finally opened in 1990.

He may have suggested blowing up the opera houses, but no other composer in
history has been responsible for the construction of as many buildings as
Pierre Boulez. IRCAM, the research institute at the Pompidou Center, was
his baby, of course, but he also induced the French to build a lavish new
music school, the Cité de la musique. He's been agitating for the
construction of another concert hall in Paris for some time.

For the record, the interview under discussion was first published in the
German periodical, Der Spiegel ("Sprengt die Opernhäuser in die Luft!" Der
Spiegel, 25 September,1967). It was reprinted in English in the British
periodical, Opera ("Opera Houses? Blow them up!" Opera, June, 1968).


----------



## SimonNZ

Albert: the name of the game here is Stupid Thread Ideas - these things are meant to sound like thread titles, not just any stupidity (though occasionally some peoiple elaborate on a thread idea)

If you read a few pages from the start of the thread you might get the idea.


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> If I do not understand thread does that mean I have to take another break????


This just shows you still have a tenuous grasp of reality. Hang on to it.


----------



## Albert7

Problem with short thread titles solved for elimination of low-content posts... enforced that each post must contain at least 50 words per post. No haiku permitted here.


----------



## Guest

In what ways do politics and religion impinge upon sexuality?

Please keep the debate civil.


----------



## Celloman

A proposal:

Hey, TCers! Ready to have some fun? We are going to pick an hour, sometime next week, in which every member posts as many times as possible. Starting new threads is strongly encouraged. The goal is to try to saturate this website with so much information that it crashes. That should keep the mods busy! If you want to participate, post your name here and then we will vote on a time that works best for everyone.


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> A proposal:
> 
> Hey, TCers! Ready to have some fun? We are going to pick an hour, sometime next week, in which every member posts as many times as possible. Starting new threads is strongly encouraged. The goal is to try to saturate this website with so much information that it crashes. That should keep the mods busy! If you want to participate, post your name here and then we will vote on a time that works best for everyone.


I volunteer my services in fact. I know that an army of bears ready to be able to post about ever conductor listed on Wikipedia without a single issue.


----------



## Celloman

Albert7 said:


> I volunteer my services in fact.


Ok, we're all set!......................................


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> Ok, we're all set!......................................


He's all we need. The rest of us can just sit back and relax.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> He's all we need. The rest of us can just sit back and relax.


Noooooo... hpowders needs to join in the potato sack hop race to the finish line as well. Lone efforts should not be permitted.


----------



## SimonNZ

Christ...this used to be one of my favorite threads.

I'm out of here.


----------



## Albert7

And now we can set our metronomes to that long posthorn sound over Glenn Gould's 1982 Goldberg Variations.


----------



## hpowders

Opinion Poll: Is the ultimate in ridiculousness scolding someone for being off-topic on a dumb thread that has no topic?
Anecdotal examples please.


----------



## TresPicos

Composers used to be able to write really beautiful music before the 20th century, and then suddenly no one seems to be able to do that anymore. How could that skill just be gone? Elegance and harmony seem to be very difficult to achieve for today's composers, and it's kind of sad to see how their sub par works are played in concerts and then politely applauded in much the same way you tell a two-year-old that his drawing is lovely. 

Vital composition know-how used to be passed along from teacher to student, but did that chain break at some point? Right now, I'm trying to listen to a string quartet by Bartok, and it's both painful and embarrassing, because he just can't seem to deliver anything even resembling beauty, no matter how much he struggles. 

Or did all good composers during the 20th century venture into popular music genres like jazz or rock, leaving only the mediocre ones to compose classical music? No, I just don't understand why we have ended up in this situation, especially as the old music is actually still there for today's composers to learn from or use as inspiration.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Opinion Poll: Is the ultimate in ridiculousness scolding someone for being off-topic on a dumb thread that has no topic?
> Anecdotal examples please.


Rewrite of what you just said in James Joyce's Finnegan's Wake style.


----------



## Dim7

Was the major triad stolen?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Was the major triad stolen?


Yes, and if you ever want to see it again, you'll give me your whole recording collection.


----------



## Albert7

Application for the patent of the Tristan chord submitted to patent office this morning. Presto.


----------



## hpowders

Should I simply give up?

Post No. 1: I played Vivaldi's Four Seasons without looking at the label and attempted to identify each season from the music. I got them all wrong. Maybe this classical thing just ain't for me?


----------



## Albert7

I played Glazunov's Seasons and tried to color match against the Vivaldi version and couldn't figure out what the hoopla was all about. Perhaps I should retitle them instead?


----------



## hpowders

Herry Furtwangler?

Post no.1: Newbie here. I saw a post on this dude Herry Furtwangler. I just love this cat's name. How's his music? What should I listen to?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Herry Furtwangler?
> 
> Post no.1: Newbie here. I saw a post on this dude Herry Furtwangler. I just love this cat's name. How's his music? What should I listen to?


A movie which is Furtwangler's biopic... When Herry Met Sally (Or not)... Psych.


----------



## hpowders

A little help here!

Post no. 1: I've been a long-term lurker on TC and notice some of the best posters have left.
Couldn't management give them a raise or something to keep them here?


----------



## hpowders

A little help here!!

Post no.1: Hi. I've just been assigned as an instructor in music appreciation at Juilliard.
I am scheduled to do Beethoven next week. Anything I should know?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> A little help here!!
> 
> Post no.1: Hi. I've just been assigned as an instructor in music appreciation at Juilliard.
> I am scheduled to do Beethoven next week. Anything I should know?


Sorry wrong school. You have been redirected on a flight to Manhattan School of Music where you are properly registered and dressed to the nines there.


----------



## Taggart

This is not a chat room. Please stay on topic and do not hold a conversation with another member.

Posts have been removed.


----------



## Lord Lance

An opera created by 10 famous TCers like Mahlerian and Albert. Mahlerian writes the music and HPowders the librettos reminiscent of War Requiem.


----------



## TresPicos

Throughout the years, I have listened to a lot of modernist music that I didn't like, and I thought that was due to a lack of understanding or listening skills on my part. 

One time, however, I noticed three short notes in succession, which I recognized as Morse code for the letter S, and later in that same piece, I heard two short notes and one long, which means U, and long-short-long-short which means C. You will, I'm sure, be surprised to hear that I actually found the Morse code for the letters of the word "suckers" spread out through the piece! 

OMG, I thought, the composer has written this horrible music just to secretly taunt the listeners! 

Then, I listened to some other modernist music, and I found the same letters spread out through those pieces as well, although in a very subtle, almost undetectable manner! Am I really the first one to discover this conspiracy, and if so, how should I reveal it to the classical music world?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!

Post no. 1: I played La Mer and the Pines of Rome for friends last night and asked each what the "program" of the music was all about. None got it right. One even said the "Pines" recording reminded him of the Mediterranean Sea.
Pretty dumb friends, eh?


----------



## Guest

Create an endless loop. I'll start:

"Wagner: Did He Kill Natalie Wood?"

"Why Doesn't My Grandmother like John Cage's Music?"

"Beethoven, Anger Management, and the Ethics of Stalking"

"Schoenberg's 12-Tone Method Didn't really Exist, It Was All Tonal"

"Were George and Ira Gershwin Anti-Semites?"

"Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Morton Feldman's Music"

"Webern at Beyreuth"


----------



## TresPicos

If you suddenly became a super moderator, which users would you ban just because you could, and would you also make sure that they had some "accidents" IRL?

Name three composers

The Next Game Thread - in each post a new fun game is invented, and all games from previous posts must be continued, so in the eighth post, for example, all seven previously invented games need to be addressed by that eighth poster, and so on - it'll be exhausting but fun! 

Everything - a thread to discuss everything

Less is more: why have composers throughout history insisted on writing huge works for large orchestras and choirs, when it is actually possible to produce lovely music for a single musician (like Bach's solo cello suites or Chopin's piano music), which is much cheaper to perform and could have decreased the human ecological footprint (and perhaps slowed down global warming)?


----------



## Guest

Which symphonies would you most like to hear transcribed for kazoo?


----------



## hpowders

Who are Long Island's 10 best conductors?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Poll: Schoenberg indisputably and single-handedly killed classical music. Should he _atone_ for his sins?

- Yes, of course
- Yes
- I blame Stockhausen

PS. This is a fair and balanced poll.


----------



## hpowders

Why does La Mer sound like Italian pine trees and the Pines of Rome sounds like a whirlpool bath?

Post no.1: Is it just me or are composers full of it when they use "programmatic" titles?


----------



## isorhythm

Should we boycott Israeli musicians? Feel free to share any general thoughts you may have about Israel and Palestine. Remember to be civil!


----------



## hpowders

isorhythm said:


> Should we boycott Israeli musicians? Feel free to share any general thoughts you may have about Israel and Palestine. Remember to be civil!


No way! Have you ever seen a Gazian strip?


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> If you suddenly became *a super moderator,* which users would you ban just because you could, and would you also make sure that they had some "accidents" IRL?
> 
> Name three composers
> 
> The Next Game Thread - in each post a new fun game is invented, and all games from previous posts must be continued, so in the eighth post, for example, all seven previously invented games need to be addressed by that eighth poster, and so on - it'll be exhausting but fun!
> 
> Everything - a thread to discuss everything
> 
> Less is more: why have composers throughout history insisted on writing huge works for large orchestras and choirs, when it is actually possible to produce lovely music for a single musician (like Bach's solo cello suites or Chopin's piano music), which is much cheaper to perform and could have decreased the human ecological footprint (and perhaps slowed down global warming)?


I would imagine you are joking, but do you realize the exhaustive series of exams one has to sit for to achieve this level of exaltation? Not to be made light of!


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> I would imagine you are joking, but do you realize the exhaustive series of exams one has to sit for to achieve this level of exaltation? Not to be made light of!


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> I would imagine you are joking, but do you realize the exhaustive series of exams one has to sit for to achieve this level of exaltation? Not to be made light of!


They pale in comparison with the stupidity exam one has to take to post in STI. Failing the "What is 1+1?" question is not an easy task, especially since the exam takers aren't told that they are taking a stupidity exam.


----------



## Albert7

Stupidity knows no bounds; it even follows you down to the rabbit hole while listening to Wagner.


----------



## Polyphemus

Albert7 said:


> Stupidity knows no bounds; it even follows you down to the rabbit hole while listening to Wagner.


Best place to be to listen to Wagner, it should be obligatory.


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> If I do not understand a thread does that mean I have to take another break????


If I did that, I would never be back!


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> If I did that, I would never be back!


I haven't returned from the Far Side so basically it has become a crazy outlet to be strung up by some Pintscher fan that I didn't expect to meet up with.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> If you suddenly became a super moderator, which users would you ban just because you could, and would you also make sure that they had some "accidents" IRL?
> 
> Name three composers
> 
> The Next Game Thread - in each post a new fun game is invented, and all games from previous posts must be continued, so in the eighth post, for example, all seven previously invented games need to be addressed by that eighth poster, and so on - it'll be exhausting but fun!
> 
> Everything - a thread to discuss everything
> 
> Less is more: why have composers throughout history insisted on writing huge works for large orchestras and choirs, when it is actually possible to produce lovely music for a single musician (like Bach's solo cello suites or Chopin's piano music), which is much cheaper to perform and could have decreased the human ecological footprint (and perhaps slowed down global warming)?


The odds of my becoming a super moderator are about the same as my winning $500,000,000 in the Pick 6 Powerball.....and yet....someone always manages to win.....so I'm keeping my phone line open and available for an important incoming call.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> The odds of my becoming a super moderator are about the same as my winning $500,000,000 in the Pick 6 Powerball.....and yet....someone always manages to win.....so I'm keeping my phone line open and available for an important incoming call.


You can moderate our upcoming TC personals section when it comes up.


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> The odds of my becoming a super moderator are about the same as my winning $500,000,000 in the Pick 6 Powerball.....and yet....someone always manages to win.....so I'm keeping my phone line open and available for an important incoming call.


It's a bit of a "Catch 22" situation: you can't become a moderator unless you have good moderating skills, but those skills are not visible unless you already are a moderator. But I have a suggestion that could resolve that catch...

_Moderator practice thread: a thread where moderator-wannabes are allowed to act as moderators to hone and display their moderating skills on ToS-breaking posts deliberately posted there by other users._


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Should we have a "panic button" here at TalkClassical? Think about it at least. All other forums where I'm a member have a panic button, so why can't we? Recently, I've been discussing this with the moderators, but they are just telling me that they will look into it, which I guess is moderator-speak for "don't hold your breath".
> 
> Buttons that I've seen in other forums are usually big and red and situated in the top right corner, and if you press them, you effectively freeze the whole forum for a while so that no one can post until the moderators switch everything on again, just in case you have a panic attack for not being able to keep up with all the new posts.
> 
> Unfortunately, the panic button functionality could be abused, and I've seen other forums regularly coming to a standstill because of it, but I don't think that would happen here at TalkClassical. Clearly, we are all mature individuals and I'm sure no one here would press the panic button if they really weren't panicky. Knowingly, at least, because you could of course click on it by mistake, but I don't think that will happen either.
> 
> So, what do you think?
> 
> View attachment 65993


I have one on my VW key and after I activated it, I couldn't shut the damn thing off!!!


----------



## millionrainbows

Deaf person's reaction to 4'33": "It sounds just like any other music."


----------



## TresPicos

Nominations for "The 25 worst submitted works in the Today's Composers subforum" are now underway - please submit your "favorites" before March 15, and then keep a lookout for the voting thread next week. 

"I'm new here at TC and it seems like a nice forum and all, but now I have started receiving a lot of really intrusive and unpleasant private messages from a user named TresPicos - is this normal, or is there someone I can report it to, or is it some kind of hazing?"

Known issues in classical music - let's put together an FAQ of well-known problems with composers, works, musicians, conductors, instruments, concert halls and classical music itself. 

Endangered species, and how classical music is making the problem worse (because we're listening to it instead of trying to save endangered species).


----------



## Polyphemus

millionrainbows said:


> Deaf person's reaction to 4'33": "It sounds just like any other music."


But not as long !


----------



## KenOC

Krispy Kreme's Bacon Doughnut Hotdog. Well, maybe it's not a thread, but it sounds like a pretty bad idea.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Poll: Schoenberg indisputably and single-handedly killed classical music. Should he _atone_ for his sins?
> 
> - Yes, of course
> - Yes
> - I blame Stockhausen
> 
> PS. This is a fair and balanced poll.


I'm actually more worried about the pun than the loaded question.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

MoonlightSonata said:


> I'm actually more worried about the pun than the loaded question.


Haha! Among my friends, I'm known as a master of puns. They're worried about me, too. :lol:

I was proud of this one, it belongs in both Stupid Thread Ideas AND Most Incredibly Lame Classical Jokes. I say this alone makes me worthy of promotion to Super Mod.


----------



## Dim7

The Off-Topic thread: On-topic discussion is strictly forbidden here. Please also avoid all kinds of paradoxes.

Poll: What the f***?

Poll: Do you ever agree with your own opinions?

TummyAche's toilet diar(rhea)y and digestion problems


----------



## TresPicos

Other posts like this post are never displayed when I click "Like this post" - what am I doing wrong?

Running while listening to atonal music - can it ever be made safe?

Apology thread for off-topic posts in other threads

Currant listening - the very subtle sounds of berries

Lacking Posting Skills But Posting Anyway - my six years at TalkClassical (share your stories!)

Extortion on TalkClassical: are you a victim or at risk because you like certain composers (like Busoni, Castelnuovo-Tedesco or Alwyn)?


----------



## hpowders

Which is better- the music of Wilhelm Furtwängler or his brother Herr Furtwängler?

Post no. 1: I'm a first year comp. student at Peabody and I need info to do a report on these two old dudes.


----------



## hpowders

Who are the 10 best conductors in Brooklyn?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed from clarinetists!

Post No. 1: I'm a composing student at Curtis and am writing a clarinet concerto for the right hand only. I need help with the fingerings.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Will my chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?


50 ways to put chewing gum under your special parterre box seat in the NY Phil that you donated $3000 for.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Who are the 10 best conductors in Brooklyn?


Who are the 10 best composers still left in Brooklyn that don't have parents in the Dodgers?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed here!

Post no.1: Leonard Bernstein recorded the Beethoven Missa Solemnis, but he was like uhh... Jewish.

This classical stuff is really confusing. I don't know if I can continue.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Help needed here!
> 
> Post no.1: Leonard Bernstein recorded the Beethoven Missa Solemnis, but he was like uhh... Jewish.
> 
> This classical stuff is really confusing. I don't know if I can continue.


The calculation of Herr Furty-wangler conducting Mahler or Jewish composers ended up in nil... perhaps we can get Joyce Hatto to fill in the rest of the blanks?


----------



## hpowders

Is this a good idea?

Post No. 1: I really like Furtwängler's music, so I'm in the middle of writing a musical about him:

"I'm Just Wild About Herry". I hope I can count on your support.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Is this a good idea?
> 
> Post No. 1: I really like Furtwängler's music, so I'm in the middle of writing a musical about him:
> 
> "I'm just wild about Herry". I hope I can count on your support.


Birtwistle's adaptation of "When Herry Met Sally" to be premiered at the Paris Opera in 2016-2017 season despite the failing budget.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

I'm very confused.


----------



## Albert7

DiesIraeVIX said:


> I'm very confused.


No worries. We can provide you with a sentence diagram of any statement made here in STI in STI grammar 101.


----------



## hpowders

Area 51.75: open to TC subscribers only (as if there's anyone else here. Duh!!)

*Sorry! I had major surgery today! One of my typing fingers!!*

Post no. 1: Yeah. I had to tone it down to 238 posts today, but I'll be back just as soon as the anesthetic wears off.


----------



## hpowders

Why is Stupid Thread Ideas the most successful thread ever on TC?

Post no.1: I don't get it: dumb threads, not a lot of humor here. Seinfeld you're not!!

I guess the old adage is true: the whole is better than the sum of its parts!!

I may join TC after all!

Is there like uhhh...an entrance exam or fee or something?


----------



## Albert7

A gathering of all of the TC stand-up comedians lined up in a row just like that shot in The Usual Suspects. Accompanied by Rameau's tunes.


----------



## Dim7

Pastime for bored mods: post in this thread so that mods can delete/edit the posts for their amusement


----------



## Albert7

10 reasons why Dim7's avatar can't be translated into 10 more languages including graphical notation for prepared piano.


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!!

Post no. 1: So how many posts do I have to make before I can sit for the TC mod exam? I'm naturally bossy and should fit in nicely with the other authority figures here.


----------



## Albert7

Ideas for classical music naps... ones not including the Brahms' Lullaby accordingly.


----------



## Albert7

Failure to update STI within 30 minutes results in an infraction for inside members and 2 hours of Bruckner while you are upside down in space.


----------



## hpowders

*I Wear Two Hats*

Post No. 1: Does anyone know when hpowders' autobiography, "I Wear Two Hats" comes out where he discusses his dual role on TC as an intellectually sublime reviewer of CDs on Current Listening and his other function as a keenly witty inventor of stupid thread ideas? Has anyone seen a reviewers' copy yet? Is it a pithy read, like his posts?

P.S. I read his first book, "I Drive Two Cars" and it was sensational!


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> *I Wear Two Hats*
> 
> Post No. 1: Does anyone know when hpowders' autobiography, "I Wear Two Hats" comes out where he discusses his dual role on TC as an intellectually sublime reviewer of CDs on Current Listening and his other function as a keenly witty inventor of stupid thread ideas? Has anyone seen a reviewers' copy yet? Is it a pithy read, like his posts?
> 
> P.S. I read his first book, "I Drive Two Cars" and it was sensational!


hpowders has been signed on for a new book contract for 4 more including "My Secret Findings on Lenny Bernstein, Pal Esq." and "Who is Maria Callas?"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> *I Wear Two Hats*
> 
> Post No. 1: Does anyone know when hpowders' autobiography, "I Wear Two Hats" comes out where he discusses his dual role on TC as an intellectually sublime reviewer of CDs on Current Listening and his other function as a keenly witty inventor of stupid thread ideas? Has anyone seen a reviewers' copy yet? Is it a pithy read, like his posts?
> 
> P.S. I read his first book, "I Drive Two Cars" and it was sensational!


I have four hats. Does this mean I can write a book about them? If I buy more hats, will the book sell better?


----------



## Albert7

STO is related to STI... STi is now Standard Intelligence for Mozart lovers


----------



## Albert7

I am proud to create the 3,700 stupid thread post here... let's be self-referential like a Pousseur piece.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> STO is related to STI... STi is now Standard Intelligence for Mozart lovers


What's STO? The internet says it's something about Star Trek.


----------



## Albert7

Moonlight Sonata is now a trademark under the purview of Brahms... every use of that moniker will require a 4 cent licensing fee accordingly.


----------



## arpeggio

I think we should start a thread about nothing.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Moonlight Sonata is now a trademark under the purview of Brahms... every use of that moniker will require a 4 cent licensing fee accordingly.


Thank goodness I didn't put a space in my username.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

arpeggio said:


> I think we should start a thread about nothing.


Isn't that what all the 4'33'' threads are about? :devil:


----------



## arpeggio

MoonlightSonata said:


> Isn't that what all the 4'33'' threads are about? :devil:


Exactly. It would be the _433_ of threads.

And since it is about nothing the odds are I would not get into trouble with some of the other members, I hope.


----------



## Dim7

I'd like to inform you all at this point that I can't write/speak/understand English or any language at all, and I write my posts by simply banging the keyboard randomly. If it seems like my posts consist of meaningful sentences or that they are responding to what others have written it is purely coincidental.


----------



## arpeggio

Is there anyone here who dislikes classical music?


----------



## Dim7

Bore Everyone To Tears Game: Write min. 1000 word post about the most boring subject you can think of and try to make it sound even less interesting. Like posts that you consider sufficiently boring; the post that gains most likes wins.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I have four hats. Does this mean I can write a book about them? If I buy more hats, will the book sell better?


Check out the ballet "Three Cornered Hat". Alas, I didn't write it!


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> Is there anyone here who dislikes classical music?


I don't dislike it but I am faking that I like it.


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> I think we should start a thread about nothing.


Wouldn't that simply be redundant?


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> I don't dislike it but I am faking that I like it.


I admire your honesty for faking it openly.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> I admire your honesty for faking it openly.


It wasn't easy, coming out "like" that.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie Here:

Post No. 1: Teach me how to love classical music. I don't read music, but I do come from an upper crust prep school background, and am considered to be an elite snob, so loving classical music shouldn't really take too long.
How do I start?


----------



## hpowders

Newark, New Jersey's 11 Best Conductors?


----------



## Albert7

Lack of sleep and its full effects on hearing Mozart's Linz Symphony.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here:

Post No. 1: How come no modern music discussions? You guys know about atonal stuff?


----------



## Dim7

Albert7 said:


> Lack of sleep and its full effects on hearing Mozart's Linz Symphony.


Maybe I just don't share your sense of humor and some here actually find this thread idea terribly funny but to me it seems like another diary entry disguised as STI.


----------



## hpowders

Help Please!!!

Post No. 1: I'm a newbie who just inherited a lot of LP's from my boring uncle's estate.
I'm having trouble playing them. The LP's don't fit in the slot. It seems the slot is designed for LP's a lot smaller???


----------



## hpowders

Help Desperately Needed!!!

Post No. 1: Newbie Here! I don't have much time. I wrote that the ToS is a PoS, IMHO, and now I got a notice to pack my bags permanently. Do I have any legal recourse? I have money. I can pay.


----------



## Dim7

If in any of the top posters lists the usernames happen to be in an order that forms an insult, should the members in that list get infraction points?

Top 10 TC members you feel most ambivalent about. This is within the bounds of ToS, right?

Insult yourself in such a cryptic way that you don't understand that you have insulted yourself

Should there be a minimum number of posts members are required to make each day?


----------



## TresPicos

Current posting - take a break from writing a post in another thread and describe here what you are about to post in that other thread. 

Indiana Jones vs Beethoven - which movie character has influenced the minds of the American public the most?

There seems to be an abundance of threads about listening to classical music both indoors and outdoors, but what should I listen to when I'm standing right there in the doorway, searching my pockets for my car keys or waiting for an earthquake to stop?

Inextinguishable symphonies - why are there so few, and what happens when all other symphonies have been extinguished?

Great painters as composers vs great composers as painters - who would win a fight?

Rename composers and their works so that no one can figure them out - example: "Beethoven's 5th symphony" becomes "Grugdulug's Countertop Quartet"

Overland Park in classical music - why does this Kansas City suburb feature extensively in operas, or doesn't it?

Users at TC whom you hate so much that it hurts - and what you would like to happen to them

Pronouncing composer's names incorrectly (especially French ones) to seem less high-brow and avoid getting into trouble with peers - we've all done it, but let's discuss our experiences and which pronunciations will do the trick.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Current posting - take a break from writing a post in another thread and describe here what you are about to post in that other thread.


Poll: How should TresPicos be punished for stealing Dim7's thread idea?


----------



## hpowders

Announcements Section:

I've been hired to make TC more efficient:

Post No. 1: I want the names of everyone who hates, dislikes or even worse is faking liking classical music.
PM me their names. Discretion is assured.

Nice to meet you all-

Ralph


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Poll: How should TresPicos be punished for stealing Dim7's thread idea?


Sorry about that, but I had no idea that I was re-using one of your ideas, since I usually skip your posts when browsing this thread. Of course I need to be punished for this, that goes without saying, otherwise I will never learn. Name your punishment, and I will impose it upon myself right here in front of my computer (I don't have a webcam, so I guess you will just have to trust me). You might, however, want to consider some kind of monetary compensation instead of a punishment - perhaps I can buy you an island somewhere, or beer?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Sorry about that, but I had no idea that I was re-using one of your ideas, since I usually skip your posts when browsing this thread. Of course I need to be punished for this, that goes without saying, otherwise I will never learn. Name your punishment, and I will impose it upon myself right here in front of my computer (I don't have a webcam, so I guess you will just have to trust me). You might, however, want to consider some kind of monetary compensation instead of a punishment - perhaps I can buy you an island somewhere, or beer?


I think listening an over 3 minute boring classical song that doesn't even have vocals or drums is the appropriate punishment for this heinous act of plagiarism you have just committed. And you are not allowed to do anything else for this 3+ minutes, you have to completely focus on the boring classical music :devil:


----------



## Mahlerian

Atonal music is basically noise that people just pretend to like because they want to appear more sophisticated than others, so why do such musical, talented groups as the Alban Berg Quartet and the Arnold Schoenberg Choir perform it at all?

Poll forthcoming.


----------



## arpeggio

Why does James Levine like to conduct Cage?


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> Why does James Levine like to conduct Cage?


Yes. The lion in his cage.


----------



## Albert7

Combination of Jackie McLean with Beethoven string quartet to create a beef stew brand on the shelf.


----------



## Vesteralen

Translate the phrase "Stupid Thread Ideas" into Akkadian and Sanskrit. Which one gives you greater insight into the cosmos?


----------



## Dim7

Vesteralen said:


> Translate the phrase "Stupid Thread Ideas" into Akkadian and Sanskrit. Which one gives you greater insight into the cosmos?


You should ask the Creator.


----------



## hpowders

*Help Needed!!*

Post No. 1: I've been studying oboe for 17 years but recently noticed there's like only 2 oboists per orchestra so job offerings will be slim.
How long can it take to master the double bass? I figure I will need money in about 3 years.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Dim7 said:


> You should ask the Creator.


Wagner?

I did notice a capital 'C.'


----------



## hpowders

Poll Question: I notice some distinguished old-timers have been leaving TC. What does that say about those of us who have decided to remain?

Choose only one. This is a public poll.


----------



## arpeggio

hpowders said:


> Poll Question: I notice some distinguished old-timers have been leaving TC. What does that say about those of us who have decided to remain?
> 
> Choose only one. This is a public poll.


You have not participated in over 69 I hate Schoenberg, atonal music, Cage, Stockhausen, whatever threads over the past five years. In time...


----------



## Bored

Is Lil Wayne the Mozart of rap?


----------



## Dim7

Health benefits of trolling: studies show that trolling is good both for the troll and the trolled


----------



## isorhythm

Who had the most brutal riffs, Haydn or Mendelssohn?


----------



## millionrainbows

I'm celebrating my anniversary! Here's my first post.


"Wagner: Did He Kill Natalie Wood?"

"Why Doesn't My Grandmother like John Cage's Music?"

"Beethoven, Anger Management, and the Ethics of Stalking"

"Schoenberg's 12-Tone Method Didn't really Exist, It Was All Tonal"

"Were George and Ira Gershwin Anti-Semites?"

"Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Morton Feldman's Music"

"Webern at Beyreuth" 

Ahh, those were the days, before the post-modernist era of self-thread-reference creeped in.


----------



## Celloman

isorhythm said:


> Who had the most brutal riffs, Haydn or Mendelssohn?


Haydn, by far. He wrote some pretty disturbing stuff! His string quartets keep me up at night, that's a fact. I have dreams where the musicians use chainsaws instead of bows...they really should put parental advisory stickers on those Haydn CDs, definitely not for the faint of heart!


----------



## Albert7

Chili soup cook off amongst Constanze, Mozart's wife, Bobby Flay, and Rachael Ray. Who wins?


----------



## TresPicos

Can you recommend me symphonies that are not like the world and not embracing everything?

Is it possible to get partial refunds on concert tickets for the time you're forced to spend waiting for the conductor to appear, or for each movement to begin, or for the applause to die down, or for an unwanted encore to end etc?

Second Viennese School vs French Impressionism - the secret cause of World War I. 

Concurrent listening - which works are you simultaneously listening to right now?

Overrated recordings of overconfident performances of overcautiously written Spanish-Czech piano works, and how they are threatening to ruin the music industry.


----------



## Morimur

Would Beethoven have remained a bachelor if he had bothered to shave his ****?

Did Mozart's farts posses a natural flow and irresistible charm? Could they express humor, joy or sorrow with both conviction and mastery? What do you smell? . . . I mean, _think?_


----------



## Dim7

millionrainbows said:


> Ahh, those were the days, before the post-modernist era of self-thread-reference creeped in.


After that there's the "surrealist diary era". I dabbled in this style for one post due to pressure to conform to this modernist trend but I've since gone back to my late paradoxical style.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

TresPicos said:


> Concurrent listening - which works are you simultaneously listening to right now?
> .


I'm simultaneously listening to Debussy, Schoenberg, Webern, Berg, and Bartok. It's like 5 cats running up and down a keyboard.


----------



## Albert7

Dog howls aligned with La Mer sped up to 100 RPM on your Sony turntable.


----------



## hpowders

Concert Confusion

Post No. 1: I'm giving my MS piano recital and I want a rousing opening-so Chopin's Heroic Polonaise it is.

But I also want an exciting finish too, so I'm planning on playing the same Chopin work at the end too.

You think the judges would penalize me for that?


----------



## hpowders

Shouldn't folks who change their user name be required to carry both old and new names for a couple of weeks so at least we have some idea of whom we are communicating with?

Post No. 1: Can anyone imagine me changing my user name from hpowders to srabinowitz? It would totally freak out all my fans!


----------



## Albert7

Debussy's hat on display at The Museum of Modern Art without a blurb.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Newbie here:
> 
> Post No. 1: How come no modern music discussions? You guys know about atonal stuff?


I joined this forum to see if anyone could help me understand 4'33'', but nobody seems to mention it. Has anyone even heard of it here?


----------



## Asianerd

......
How about... the art of appreciating wine and piano dust with Corelli playing in the background?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Asianerd said:


> ......
> How about... the art of appreciating wine and piano dust with Corelli playing in the background?


Your Top 10 Favourite Types of Dust on Pianos


----------



## Asianerd

Your top 10 favourite pieces to listen to while going to the toilet.


----------



## arpeggio

Asianerd said:


> Your top 10 favourite pieces to listen to while going to the toilet.


_Water Music_...................


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I joined this forum to see if anyone could help me understand 4'33'', but nobody seems to mention it. Has anyone even heard of it here?


The problem is how many of us can actually spare the more than 4'33" needed for an adequate explanation?


----------



## hpowders

Asianerd said:


> Your top 10 favourite pieces to listen to while going to the toilet.


I'll check my $hit Liszt and get back to ya.


----------



## hpowders

Would it be too much to ask for a Sticky of user name changes, old and new so we have some idea whom we are conversing with?

(I know! I know! Not stupid enough!!)


----------



## Dim7

Boring And Unpopular Thread Ideas: Post thread ideas that are not against the ToS and would not be deleted by the mods, but which are designed to attract as little views/replies as possible


----------



## Albert7

You know silly time begins with Brahms whenever it is coffee time now.


----------



## hpowders

I'm exploring each work of J.S. Bach individually and seek opinions.

Post No. 1: Okay let's start with BVD 1.


----------



## Albert7

A list of all Lizst that you lisped like a lizard.


----------



## Donata

What favorite children's books would make great operas? My vote would be Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale. Nipple music: Good idea or bad idea? Someone should release an album for lumberjacks called, "Soothing Sounds to Saw Logs By."


----------



## TresPicos

Poll: which of the coming decades of the 21st century do you think will bring the greatest changes to classical music?
- 2020s
- 2030s
- 2040s
- 2050s
- 2060s
- 2070s
- 2080s
- 2090s
- same amount of change in every decade
- classical music will not change at all between 2020 and 2099
- don't know, don't care, leave me the #[email protected]%&*! alone

Are moderators moderated by the super moderators, or are super moderators just moderating regular users but with a shorter fuse, or is this just none of my business?

Bothering the conductor during performances - your top ten methods

Stupendous thread ideas

Theremin heroes who proved to be mere mortals, and how that realization changed your outlook on life


----------



## hpowders

Do you listen to classical music while vacuuming? 

Post No. 1: I need some input. Whenever I try to do this, I can't hear the music. Suggestions welcome.


----------



## Dim7

Recommend music for yourself

Thread just for Dim7 - please don't read or reply to this

What is the meaning of life, the right moral code to live by, the best ideology/religion/philosophy and the best piece of music ever? Please keep the discussion polite and also strictly scientific and objective. 

Top √-81 math jokes to impress/amuse teenage girls

What is the primary reason you lie about the reason you are pretending to like classical?

Should we limit the number of limits per day moderators are allowed to impose upon forum members?


----------



## TresPicos

Why is it that on some classical music recordings, the audience is applauding and cheering like there's no tomorrow, and on other recordings they just sit there dead silent afterwards? Are they disappointed, or stunned, or what? Listening without knowing how the audience will react makes me a bit unruly. 

Maybe those "silent" recordings are done in countries where people are less outgoing, like Sweden or Finland? Are they maybe too shy to applaud the music, but if so, do they show appreciation by silently waving or nodding instead?

Real strange behavior, if you ask me. Tends to make me more self-conscious as well, and I often feel like a newbie, because if the audience just sits there disappointed or whatever, then perhaps the music I just enjoyed wasn't really that enjoyable...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 10 Puns


----------



## Albert7

2001 A a Space Odyssey with the Strauss censored out.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Share the details of your infraction points, and how you got them.


----------



## Dim7

Why can't I send enemy requests? Are all of my non-friends enemies by default?


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Why can't I send enemy requests? Are all of my non-friends enemies by default?


Dear Dim7,

I hope you aren't offended because I didn't accept your enemy request. I have to maintain some standards: self-haters and people who make self-referential jokes are simply far below me to have as my enemies.

-Dim7


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*New Posting Algorithm*

I have developed a programme that posts according to what the average TC member would say. It posts at a rate of 600 PPM (posts per minute) or at least would were it not for that pesky flood control thing.
The algorithm comes up with such realistic posts as:


> I voted for Beethoven.





> Lang Lang is a bit too soulless for me.





> 4'33'' is stupid.





> 20th century music is meaningless noise.





> There are too many polls on TC these days.


This invention can be yours for just $433!


----------



## Dim7

Machines taking our jobs again...


----------



## KenOC

Dim7 said:


> Machines taking our jobs again...


People in Dallas think so. An anti-robot demonstration today.


----------



## Albert7

30 Rock episode featuring Prokofiev as the newscaster.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> 30 Rock episode featuring Prokofiev as the newscaster.


That is, without doubt, a stupid idea, but is it really a _thread_ idea?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

*Poll*: Did you think that the gentleman sitting down in JACE's avatar was JACE himself? _I'ves_ read a lot of people say in 'Current Listening' that they were surprised it wasn't him.










- Yeah, I thought it was him. My world has been turned upside down now that I know it isn't.
- I did, but I'm undeterred by the truth. That _is_ JACE and you can't tell me otherwise.
- No, I know JACE and he never sits in chairs outdoors. He's more of an ottoman guy.
- Yes, 4'33'' is music


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> That is, without doubt, a stupid idea, but is it really a _thread_ idea?


We can discuss the synopsis of the television episode in question if needs be.


----------



## Albert7

Failure to update STI in an hour: a study on causes whether too much musical analysis is being done.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Posted in the Classifieds section: *The Big Book of Thread Stultology*
This is a fascinating study of the art of Stupid Thread ideas by the acclaimed academic, MoonlightSonata. The author discusses in detail all the different eras of Stupid Threads:
The 'early period', in which people came up with silly ideas for threads.
The 'modern period', in which many of the ideas referred to existing threads or ridiculed composers.
The 'postmodern period', in which threads would be self-referential or paradoxical.
The 'avant-garde-diary-incomprehensible' period, in which literally nobody knew what was going on.
The 'future' period, in which MoonlightSonata was announced Supreme Stupid Thread Artist and paid $10 per post on this thread.


----------



## Albert7

A discussion regarding New York Post articles on Beethoven symphonies and its political leanings towards certain PACs in question with secret slush funds back to Beethoven's funeral expenses.


----------



## Dim7

How do I control the number of posts I make per day?


----------



## hpowders

*New Miraculous Product of Interest Here!!!*

Post No. 1: Hello! I am the inventor of a revolutionary product which I call _Post Shield™._
Post whatever you want, free from the eyes of unwanted censorship!
Just spray this miracle on your computer screen, wait 5 minutes and post away!!
Send $49.99 for an introductory three ounce spray can of_ Post Shield™_ today!
Credit cards only please. Act Now!!
Offer may be withdrawn without notice!


----------



## Taggart

hpowders said:


> *New Miraculous Product of Interest Here!!!*
> 
> Post No. 1: Hello! I am the inventor of a revolutionary product which I call _Post Shield™._
> Post what you want whatever you want, free from the eyes of unwanted censorship!
> Just spray this miracle on your computer screen, wait 5 minutes and post away!!
> Send $49.99 for an introductory three ounce spray can of_ Post Shield™_ today!
> Credit cards only please. Act Now!!
> Offer may be withdrawn without notice!


You forgot to add - cards will be charged even if the offer is withdrawn; and you forgot to say that no money will be refunded if the product fails to work.


----------



## Blancrocher

Taggart said:


> You forgot to add - cards will be charged even if the offer is withdrawn; and you forgot to say that no money will be refunded if the product fails to work.


Yeah, I've had bad experiences with him in the past too. Remember the "state-of-the-art offensive-post blocking glasses" he advertised last year? They turned out to be made of plastic, with black paint covering the lenses.

$300 for that crap.


----------



## hpowders

^^^Be so as it may, and nobody's perfect; however, this product was meticulously modeled after the Starship Enterprise cloaking device.
We all know how effective that was in evading the Klingons.
Isn't that proof enough? Cloaking Device._ Post Shield™._ Similar protection on a smaller scale.


----------



## TresPicos

Have you experienced performance problems here at TalkClassical lately, e g the site being slow or even down for periods of time? 

Please be patient, because the problems could be caused by the private performance tests that I have been running for the last couple of weeks (with a browser plug-in program automatically generating clicks on the "New Posts" link every three seconds, 24/7), in order to figure out why TalkClassical is sometimes slow or even down for periods of time.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: If you could, would you destroy all music you hate at the expense of destroying also all music you love, leaving only music you just slightly like/dislike or feel totally indifferent about?


----------



## Dim7

Suggestion:

We punish misbehaving forum members by banning them. But what about misbehavior in real life? Could we punish criminals who hate classical music and especially classical music forums by forcing them to register at TalkClassical, write posts and read posts by others? The punishment could be either temporary or permanent.


----------



## Albert7

Diminished seven chord punishments for naughty behavior include listening to Handel's Saul on endless repeat ten times.


----------



## Albert7

I just checked the timer... failure to post from Albert7 results in a fine of -2 points so I have suggest a new topic: the hairnet of Brahms' wife in a private collection.


----------



## hpowders

A Little Help Here!!

Post No. 1: I'm looking for a recording of Sondheim's "Into The Woods Beyond The Pines Of Rome".


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Do you listen to classical music while vacuuming?
> 
> Post No. 1: I need some input. Whenever I try to do this, I can't hear the music. Suggestions welcome.


Stockhausen's *Helicopter Quartet* is good while vacuuming. The helicopters blend right in to the drone of the vacuum.

For various other long, repetitive tasks, such as shelling green beans, peeling oranges, or mowing the lawn, I suggest Philip Glass' *Music in Twelve Parts.*


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> A Little Help Here!!
> 
> Post No. 1: I'm looking for a recording of Sondheim's "Into The Woods Beyond The Pines Of Rome".


Would you like the tonal version, or the serial version he wrote while studying with Milton Babbitt?


----------



## Dim7

In orchestral music there's a lot of parts when some instruments don't play anything. It must feel dumb just sitting there doing nothing. It doesn't look very cool from the audience's perspective either. Couldn't the players who aren't playing anything like for example, battle with their instruments? It would attract some badly needed younger audience to the concerts as well. What do you think?


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> In orchestral music there's a lot of parts when some instruments don't play anything. It must feel dumb just sitting there doing nothing. It doesn't look very cool from the audience's perspective either. Couldn't the players who aren't playing anything like for example, battle with their instruments? It would bring some badly needed younger audience to the concerts as well. What do you think?


It doesn't bother me at all; it reminds me of 4'33".


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Would you like the tonal version, or the serial version he wrote while studying with Milton Babbitt?


The Post Serial. Cheerio!


----------



## hpowders

Movie Section: How come in silent movies I hear music in the background?


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Stockhausen's *Helicopter Quartet* is good while vacuuming. The helicopters blend right in to the drone of the vacuum.
> 
> For various other long, repetitive tasks, such as shelling green beans, peeling oranges, or mowing the lawn, I suggest Philip Glass' *Music in Twelve Parts.*


Thanks. I vacuum my place every February and July. Too late for February but I put it on my calendar to report on your recommendations during July, if not banned from posting.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Alphabet-row" posting: Post using all the letters of the alphabet in predetermined orders and intervals.


----------



## TresPicos

Considering the fact that both Joseph Haydn and Michael Haydn came from families with a father working as a wheelwright, should I consider this occupation for myself if I want to launch successful careers in classical music for my children?

Are you from a country, and if so, how?

Next poster game: guess who will write the next post in the thread (my guess: Dim7... or maybe hpowders... no, wait... SimonNZ)

Overrated instruments used in string quartets, besides the obvious ones (viola and cello)

Non-competing sites - are we allowed to not mention them? (just trying to understand the ToS)


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Why didn't Mahler compose a string quartet? 

a. once again he shows his deference to Beethoven.

b. because he couldn't handle writing for four exposed voices.

c. didn't think people would sit for an 85 minute string quartet.

d. worried his friend Sydney's wife would ask, "a string quartet mit ein Ländler?"


----------



## hpowders

Why did Mozart prefer playing on a Walter fortepiano instead of on a Steinway Grand?

Post No. 1: Is it because he wanted to perform on original instruments, so he wanted to be seen as HIP?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Poll: Why didn't Mahler compose a string quartet?
> 
> a. once again he shows his deference to Beethoven.
> 
> b. because he couldn't handle writing for four exposed voices.
> 
> c. didn't think people would sit for an 85 minute string quartet.
> 
> d. worried his friend Sydney's wife would ask, "a string quartet mit ein Ländler?"


This piece may be the closest to fulfilling what you were dreaming of


----------



## SimonNZ

"Does every village need an idiot?"


----------



## Celloman

Poll: Who is the most Intelligent, Gifted, and Inspiring Person in history Who deserves your unconditional praise and devotion until your dying breath and is the *Highest Pinnacle* of artistic expression known to humankind?

A. Celloman
B. Celloman
C. Celloman
D. Celloman
E. Celloman
F. Celloman
.
.
.
Z. Celloman


----------



## Becca

In another thread....



Woodduck said:


> If that were normal, the first Cro-Magnon to sing a song would have been greeted with a blank stare and a comment like "What the hell was that?", and music would have disappeared forever.


Why just Cro-Magnon? We need to discuss the essential similarities and differences between Cro-Magnon, Denisovan & Neanderthal music. And let's be careful not to get into racial stereotyping.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> "Alphabet-row" posting: Post using all the letters of the alphabet in predetermined orders and intervals.


wqreytiuposafdhgkjlxzvcnbm mbncvzxljkghdfasopuityerqw wmqbrnecyztlijukpgohsdaf...


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> wqreytiuposafdhgkjlxzvcnbm mbncvzxljkghdfasopuityerqw wmqbrnecyztlijukpgohsdaf...


What we have here is a failure to communicate.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> What we have here is a failure to communicate.


Unless you read the quoted post.....


----------



## SimonNZ

MoonlightSonata said:


> wqreytiuposafdhgkjlxzvcnbm mbncvzxljkghdfasopuityerqw wmqbrnecyztlijukpgohsdaf...


Ahhh...but you still have to "compose" a post of standard discussion - but using the full predetermined alphabet row.

For example:the first letter is T, five characters after that (including spaces and punctuation) there must be an M, five characters after that an E....and so on.

Lower case and upper case usages must be swapped during the retrograde inversion which follows.


----------



## Becca

SimonNZ said:


> Ahhh...but you still have to "compose" a post of standard discussion - but using the full predetermined alphabet row.
> 
> For example:the first letter is T, five characters after that (including spaces and punctuation) there must be an M, five characters after that an E....and so on.
> 
> Lower case and upper case usages must be swapped during the retrograde inversion which follows.


This sounds like a literary version of Bruno Heinz JaJa's masterpiece _Punkt Contrapunkt_ which was premiered at one of the Hoffnung Festivals in London in the 1950s. Here is a link to a technical discussion of the background and the tone rows, followed by a performance of the piece.


----------



## Albert7

The ultimate Furtwangler biography turned into a daytime soap opera with Joshua Jackson portraying the conductor.


----------



## Dim7

SimonNZ said:


> Ahhh...but you still have to "compose" a post of standard discussion - but using the full predetermined alphabet row.
> 
> For example:the first letter is T, five characters after that (including spaces and punctuation) there must be an M, five characters after that an E....and so on.
> 
> Lower case and upper case usages must be swapped during the retrograde inversion which follows.


You m_st n07 rep3a- ch4 bf @ll µs€d (wigkzxv§125689+´¨'-.,<;:^`?=/&%¤#"!½>£${[]}\~|)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> You m_st n07 rep3a- ch4 bf @ll µs€d (wigkzxv§125689+´¨'-.,<;:^`?=/&%¤#"!½>£${[]}\~|)


Wel1, this cou/d b3 fvn.-_


----------



## TresPicos

New fun game: sentences combining a composer and something totally unrelated

_Alfvén is leaving his house in the afternoon to buy some flowers for his mistress

Searching for a wild boar in the Hamptons after a Gershwin concert

Dancing to Strauss and Strauss and Strauss in a litter box with tears in my eyes

Asking for directions on a road trip to a Bruckner symphony (not Die Nullte)

Questions in G flat minor to pose in case of a tea-time visit by Joseph and Michael Haydn_


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> New fun game: sentences combining a composer and something totally unrelated
> 
> _Alfvén is leaving his house in the afternoon to buy some flowers for his mistress
> 
> Searching for a wild boar in the Hamptons after a Gershwin concert
> 
> Dancing to Strauss and Strauss and Strauss in a litter box with tears in my eyes
> 
> Asking for directions on a road trip to a Bruckner symphony (not Die Nullte)
> 
> Questions in G flat minor to pose in case of a tea-time visit by Joseph and Michael Haydn_


_Buying crackers and cheese for Beethoven
Doing the tango with Mozart
Bach is buying some apples
John Cage is going to holiday to see a stapler
Going to a banana party with Stravinsky
Dying while my relatives sing Schumann_

Well, who would have expected it! The return of the post-modernist thread idea!


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> New fun game: sentences combining a composer and something totally unrelated
> 
> Dancing to Strauss and Strauss and Strauss in a litter box with tears in my eyes
> 
> Questions in G flat minor to pose in case of a tea-time visit by Joseph and Michael Haydn


EPIC FAIL - J. Strauss is very much related to dance and tea-time is incredibly related to Haydn and the whole classical era. How will you punish yourself for failing at your own game?


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> EPIC FAIL - J. Strauss is very much related to dance and tea-time is incredibly related to Haydn and the whole classical era. How will you punish yourself for failing at your own game?


Don't you think having your mistakes blasted out to the rest of the forum by a prominent user is punishment enough? All I tried to do was to start up a fun game, but clearly, I don't have what it takes... 

For the record, I just got a PM informing me that Gershwin often went wild boar hunting in the Hamptons...


----------



## Dim7

Almost gain infraction points game: Post something that is borderline offensive or ToS-violating, but not quite. Moderators will give points according to how close they were to giving infraction point(s) or deleting the post. If an actual infraction point is gained or a post deleted the poster can't continue the game.

Almost just listened: Post pieces that you almost decided to listen to but ultimately decided not to

Almost liked: post here what posts were almost likeable but not quite


----------



## Kivimees

Post concerts you won't be attending.


----------



## Albert7

I woke up this morning... got myself a Mozart, got myself a Brahms...


----------



## hpowders

Did people frequent classical concerts more in the 18th century than they do today, because they didn't have cable TV?


----------



## Dim7

Thank or compliment TC members for something totally insignificant

_"I want to compliment you for using spaces in your sentences."
"I want to thank you for not flooding this site with advertisement."
"I want to thank all female members for being female."_


----------



## Dim7

Thank or compliment TC members (PostModern-Surrealist-Paradoxical edition)

"I'd like to thank you for appearing out of chicken soup."
"I want to compliment all male members for being female."
"I want to thank you because I don't want to."
"I want to thank you because of the recent sandwich invasion which you aren't responsible for at all."
"I will compliment non-existence in the past and I did thank existence in the future."
"I want to thank myself for thanking myself for thanking myself for thanking myself for thanking myself for thanking myself....."


----------



## Albert7

Due to unknown causes, your Brahms DVD has been confiscated without specification.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Thank or compliment TC members for something totally insignificant
> 
> _"I want to compliment you for using spaces in your sentences."
> "I want to thank you for not flooding this site with advertisement."
> "I want to thank all female members for being female."_


Looks like you consider being female to be something totally insignificant, there. Guess this calls for some kind of punishment?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Looks like you consider being female to be something totally insignificant, there. Guess this calls for some kind of punishment?


Yeah, totally.... punishment by an attractive female named Dom7 preferably *drolls*


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Thank or compliment TC members (PostModern-Surrealist-Paradoxical edition)
> 
> "I'd like to thank you for appearing out of chicken soup."
> "I want to compliment all male members for being female."
> "I want to thank you because I don't want to."
> "I want to thank you because of the recent sandwich invasion which you aren't responsible for at all."
> "I will compliment non-existence in the past and I did thank existence in the future."
> "I want to thank myself for thanking myself for thanking myself for thanking myself for thanking myself for thanking myself....."


I would like to thank Dim7 for not posting that.


----------



## Dim7

*One more post by any poster*

If you could pick one ex-poster to post one more post, who would it be and what kind of post? I go first, one more post by PetrB:

_For my last post I want to finally admit that all this championing of atonal modern garbage was complete bullsh** to **** off people. Alma Deutcher FTW, film & videogame music is classical. So long and thanks for the lulz!_


----------



## Albert7

Secret James Bond adventure featuring a Brahms-obsessed shark that cooperates with Jaws to implement a nuclear weapon.


----------



## Dim7

Albert7 said:


> Secret James Bond adventure featuring a Brahms-obsessed shark that cooperates with Jaws to implement a nuclear weapon.


Albert, read this post by TresPicos and contemplate it's true meaning for a looooooooong time:



TresPicos said:


> New fun game: sentences combining a composer and something totally unrelated
> 
> _Alfvén is leaving his house in the afternoon to buy some flowers for his mistress
> 
> Searching for a wild boar in the Hamptons after a Gershwin concert
> 
> Dancing to Strauss and Strauss and Strauss in a litter box with tears in my eyes
> 
> Asking for directions on a road trip to a Bruckner symphony (not Die Nullte)
> 
> Questions in G flat minor to pose in case of a tea-time visit by Joseph and Michael Haydn_


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Walking with Brahms down a road paved with chrysanthemums who really don't get what the roses are trying to tell them.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> If you could pick one ex-poster to post one more post, who would it be and what kind of post? I go first, one more post by PetrB:
> 
> _For my last post I want to finally admit that all this championing of atonal modern garbage was complete bullsh** to **** off people. Alma Deutcher FTW, film & videogame music is classical. So long and thanks for the lulz!_


PetrB is displeased, and is currently re-calibrating his deathray.

You done goofed this time, Dim7.


----------



## Kivimees

Overworked moderators: 

Moderators spend too much time berating posters for getting off-topic, issuing related warnings and removing posts. Wouldn't it be easier for moderators simply to adjust the thread titles? Provide working examples.


----------



## Dim7

Kivimees said:


> Overworked moderators:
> 
> Moderators spend too much time berating posters for getting off-topic, issuing related warnings and removing posts. Wouldn't it be easier for moderators simply to adjust the thread titles? Provide working examples.


Once when one of my posts in a thread I didn't remember I had posted in was liked, I thought the moderators had (re)titled one of my posts.


----------



## hpowders

Why is it when I write "post deleted" I get more "likes" than other posts I've made?


----------



## hpowders

Recent nightmares.

Post No. 1: Last night, oh it was horrible! I dreamt I clicked on "Talk Classical" and I got the message "Forum Deleted". This couldn't really happen. Right?
Post your recent nightmares right here! We will hold cyber-hands together and get through them somehow together!!


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Recent nightmares.
> 
> Post No. 1: Last night, oh it was horrible! I dreamt I clicked on "Talk Classical" and I got the message "Forum Deleted". This couldn't really happen. Right?
> Post your recent nightmares right here! We will hold cyber-hands together and get through them somehow together!!


http://www.talkclassical.com/29915-weirdest-dream-ever-6.html


----------



## ptr

hpowders said:


> Why is it when I write "post deleted" I get more "likes" than other posts I've made?


Might be that "post deleted" is the most interesting and/or relevant anyone writes on this site, anyway it is quite inoffensive in the wake of some members fear of confrontation? :trp:

/ptr


----------



## hpowders

ptr said:


> Might be that "post deleted" is the most interesting and/or relevant anyone writes on this site, anyway it is quite inoffensive in the wake of some members fear of confrontation? :trp:
> 
> /ptr


Yes. It is a fine way to express "sarcasm" without having to worry about excommunication.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Yes. It is a fine way to express "sarcasm" without having to worry about excommunication.


The Inquisition will be calling on you to 'discuss' certain comments.


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> The Inquisition will be calling on you to 'discuss' certain comments.


Bring it on!!!! :lol::lol:


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Bring it on!!!! :lol::lol:


"*Bring it on* if you think you can hang
And if not then let me do my thing
Yeah, so Smif-n-Wessun if you're down with me
Represent one time on the M-I-C"


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Albert7 said:


> "*Bring it on* if you think you can hang
> And if not then let me do my thing
> Yeah, so Smif-n-Wessun if you're down with me
> Represent one time on the M-I-C"


I certainly speak 'sarcasm' fluently- but 'ghetto patois' is outside my ken.

What?

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Cool concerts from the future? 

Tell us about concerts that you've attended from the future.


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> Yes. It is a fine way to express "sarcasm" without having to worry about excommunication.


Fwiw, my likes for deleted posts are perfectly genuine--I like the air of mystery about them.


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> Fwiw, my likes for deleted posts are perfectly genuine--I like the air of mystery about them.


And I always take those "likes" that way.

I can see an "Urgent" bulletin being circulated among the admins. "Be alert for "sarcastic likes". Treat them as any other unforgivable offense!"


----------



## hpowders

Marschallin Blair said:


> I certainly speak 'sarcasm' fluently- but 'ghetto patois' is outside my ken.
> 
> What?
> 
> Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.




So do I. English was my parents' second language. Fluent sarcasm was their first. I learned it from them. Bless them! Whoops. There goes the sarcasm again!!


----------



## Blancrocher

*TC "Like" Policy Revisited: Item #3,476*

Dear TC Members,

I've just been rereading all my old posts, and discovered a disturbing pattern. All of the posts that have been liked by a certain 3 members contain egregious factual errors and poor taste (with regard to the latter, I'm afraid I like Lang Lang--shoot me). I can only conclude that these members are liking my posts _sarcastically_.

I've sent numerous PM's to various mods about this, but for some reason they've received no response. So I was wondering: can we have a report button for suspicious likes?


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> *TC "Like" Policy Revisited: Item #3,476*
> 
> Dear TC Members,
> 
> I've just been rereading all my old posts, and recently discovered a disturbing pattern. All of the posts that have been liked by at least 3 members contain egregious factual errors and poor taste (with regard to the latter, I'm afraid I like Lang Lang--shoot me). I can only conclude that these members are liking my posts _sarcastically_.
> 
> I've sent numerous PM's to various mods about this, but for some reason they've received no response. So I was wondering: can we have a report button for suspicious likes?


Keep us informed of your progress in getting this intolerable situation resolved.

The entire "like" system needs to be taken down and rebuilt to keep up with our modern needs.

I have a friend who could do a nice job on it for $3,500,000, all-inclusive.


----------



## Dim7

*Proposal for maintaining numerical decency on this forum*

I have been disturbed and offended by the presence of a certain number on this forum. I won't be so vulgar as to mention what exactly this number is, but I'll give a hint that it's less than 70 and more than 68. But I think we have to do something to fight this debauchery.

When it comes to the number of friends and post counts, the solution is fairly simple. When the number of friends reaches this number minus 1, the next accepted friend request won't come into effect until another is accepted, to avoid having the unpleasant number as the amount of friends. Similarily, **th post by a poster won't be published until the next is posted. The same works for number of replies in a thread.

As for thread views, when somebody is to view a thread for the **th time the browser should automatically open two windows of the same thread in order to do two views at the same time. But when it comes to the number of currently active members this gets a little bit complicated. Since it's kinda difficult for two members to log in exactly at the same time I guess it would practically mean that the maximum number of currently active members would be ** minus 1.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> I have been disturbed and offended by the presence of a certain number on this forum. I won't be so vulgar as to mention what exactly this number is, but I'll give a hint that it's less than 70 and more than 68. But I think we have to do something to fight this debauchery.
> 
> ...


Are you talking about 68.4 by any chance? Cause I hate that number too!

Man, I feel sick just looking at it! Everything would be so much better if it just didn't exist!


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> I have been disturbed and offended by the presence of a certain number on this forum. I won't be so vulgar as to mention what exactly this number is, but I'll give a hint that it's less than 70 and more than 68. But I think we have to do something to fight this debauchery.
> 
> When it comes to the number of friends and post counts, the solution is fairly simple. When the number of friends reaches this number minus 1, the next accepted friend request won't come into effect until another is accepted, to avoid having the unpleasant number as the amount of friends. Similarily, **th post by a poster won't be published until the next is posted. The same works for number of replies in a thread.
> 
> As for thread views, when somebody is to view a thread for the **th time the browser should automatically open two windows of the same thread in order to do two views at the same time. But when it comes to the number of currently active members this gets a little bit complicated. Since it's kinda difficult for two members to log in exactly at the same time I guess it would practically mean that the maximum number of currently active members would be ** minus 1.


A spectralist analysis of the standard deviation required to ascertain that poster in question has a questionable existence in real life. Potentially an imaginary composer from another era. Discuss in a 750 word essay the impact of this determination on musical society.


----------



## Albert7

Can posting on STI during a break cause rotary wrist injuries? Are pianists susceptible to this?


----------



## TresPicos

Bach, Beethoven and Brahms are - as I understand it - for some reason collectively known as the "Three Bs" in classical music, but I have pretty high standards, so which composers should I listen to if I want to enjoy some "straight A" quality music? Mozart and Tchaikovsky? Wagner, perhaps?


----------



## TresPicos

"Fire inextinguishers stolen from Copenhagen concert hall - Carl Nielsen Sesquicentennial concert cancelled"

Out of the blue appearances by famous musicians in your living room in the middle of the night that you then forgot about and only remembered years later when a car honked at you running across a busy street trying to catch the bus home on a chilly night - tell us your stories!

Reggae as the main threat to classical music - can what happened in Jamaica happen elsewhere? 

Do-it-yourself operas - are they more genuine than the real stuff?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> Bach, Beethoven and Brahms are - as I understand it - for some reason collectively known as the "Three Bs" in classical music, but I have pretty high standards, so which composers should I listen to if I want to enjoy some "straight A" quality music? Mozart and Tchaikovsky? Wagner, perhaps?


*A*lma Deutscher.
:devil:


----------



## TresPicos

Artichokes vs avocados in opera vs other classical music genres vs music history vs art music vs artichokes

The "Guess my list" game - one poster puts together a random list of composers, and the other posters then try to figure out why the previous poster chose those composers and what kind of list it is, and if someone gets it right, then that poster can do whatever

& instead of # in musical scores - would it make sense?

Things I've seen today (new fun game): pillow, alarm clock, bed, blanket, bedroom, windows, carpet, floor, ceiling, robe, door, doorway, another carpet, hall, another door, bathroom, bath tub, sink, mirror, cabinet, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, towel, stairs, cat, plant, painting, shoes, kitchen, artichokes...


----------



## TresPicos

Albert7 said:


> Shhh... a few members get paid here by each post... in fact, it's like clickable side ads on the internet.


Correct. Over the years, I've earned more than 140 000 Danish crowns (roughly $20,000) by including subliminal messages in my TC posts. Commercial subliminal messages, that is. At least some of you have surely been affected by my posts.

"Can anyone become a paid poster?" you may ask. Of course not. Less than 1% of TC users are paid posters, but for us selected few, life is sweet! All you really need to do to be paid rather handsomely is _to make sure that the capital letters in the beginning of the sentences in your post spell out the name of the advertiser..._


----------



## Dim7

*More on offensive liking patterns*



Blancrocher said:


> *TC "Like" Policy Revisited: Item #3,476*
> 
> Dear TC Members,
> 
> I've just been rereading all my old posts, and discovered a disturbing pattern. All of the posts that have been liked by a certain 3 members contain egregious factual errors and poor taste (with regard to the latter, I'm afraid I like Lang Lang--shoot me). I can only conclude that these members are liking my posts _sarcastically_.
> 
> I've sent numerous PM's to various mods about this, but for some reason they've received no response. So I was wondering: can we have a report button for suspicious likes?


Message for the moderation team:

Recently a certain member liked these 3 posts in a certain thread, which were posted in the following order:

"Dim7 is such a cool dude!"
"Must we post so many posts that do not praise Dim7?"
"Die Zauberflöte is the best opera ever, after Dim7's opera cycle 'Stupid Plot Ideas' of course."

Three totally harmless likes? WRONG! Read the first word of each sentence: "Dim7 must die." It's a hidden death threat! All the more reason to have that report button for likes.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Message for the moderating team:
> 
> Recently a certain member liked these 3 posts in a certain thread, which were posted in the following order:
> 
> "Dim7 is such a cool dude!"
> "Must we post so many posts that do not praise Dim7?"
> "Die Zauberflöte is the best opera ever, after Dim7's opera cycle 'Stupid Plot Ideas' of course."
> 
> Three totally harmless likes? WRONG! Read the first word of each sentence: "Dim7 must die." It's a hidden death threat! All the more reason to have that report button for likes.


Kudos to you for seeing that!!!


----------



## Albert7

A statistical analysis of all chord changes in B flat augmented chords within Bruckner Eighth Symphony.


----------



## hpowders

Something to Remember:

Post No.1: To help some of you posters who feel a bit insecure about posting a thread, remember this:

It's only stupid, if you believe it.


----------



## Dim7

For permanently banned members: If you could post one more post in a thread of your choice, what would you post?

Best near-life experiences: Top 10 times when you were almost resurrected (for dead people, obviously)

Best far-from-death experiences: Top 10 times when there was absolutely zero threat to your life (for living people, obviously)

Best far-from-life experiences: Top 10 times when you were absolutely totally dead and nobody was resurrecting you (for dead people obviously)


----------



## Albert7

The results of listening to Morton Feldman on random shuffle on an iPod and not realizing that you are a new composer.


----------



## Dim7

Misread thread title:

Favorite toilet (favorite ballet)


----------



## hpowders

Newbie Here!!!

Post No. 1: I want to post some thread topics but I lack the confidence to do so. Do you guys have a place to try out my threads in case they all turn out to be stupid thread ideas?

I don't want to risk posting these thread ideas of mine on the much more intellectual and cerebral classical discussion forum, especially after reading through some of the dazzling poll questions you guys have on that forum. How do you guys maintain such a high degree of quality, poll after poll after poll after poll after poll after poll....?


----------



## hpowders

So I can't be one?

Post No. 1: I'm studying to be a Mod (Cornell University Mod School) and I just received the TC requirements. One requirement states:
"must not have ever been permanently banned from forums". I was permanently banned only once, not multiple times. Is this okay?

I've devoted three years to my studies and am in debt because of the high tuition cost. Please tell me I haven't wasted my time!


----------



## Albert7

Is it possible to mix up Simone Dinnerstein with Simone Lunchstein or Simone Brunchstein or Sir Simone Rattle?


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Newbie Here!!!
> 
> Post No. 1: I want to post some thread topics but I lack the confidence to do so. Do you guys have a place to try out my threads in case they all turn out to be stupid thread ideas?
> 
> I don't want to risk posting these thread ideas of mine on the much more intellectual and cerebral classical discussion forum, especially after reading through some of the dazzling poll questions you guys have on that forum. How do you guys maintain such a high degree of quality, poll after poll after poll after poll after poll after poll....?


Just take one of the thread titles in Stupid Thread Ideas and turn it on its head, it must become something intelligent. For example take my thread idea on the previous page:


Dim7 said:


> Misread thread title:
> 
> Favorite toilet (favorite ballet)


Turn it into "What is NOT your least favorite upside down toilet?" Now it's a very intellectual thread idea!


----------



## Balthazar

*Historical Revisionism, Part IV*

*20th Century Source Material for Verdi's Macbeth*
_______________________________________________

Please limit your discussion to Vonnegut and Kafka.

N.B. The posting of "evidence" or "facts" contradicting the above is strictly _verboten_.


----------



## SimonNZ

Balthazar said:


> *20th Century Source Material for Verdi's Macbeth*
> _______________________________________________
> 
> Please limit your discussion to Vonnegut and Kafka.
> 
> N.B. The posting of "evidence" or "facts" contradicting the above is strictly _verboten_.


In a similar vein:

"Did Shakespeare want Macbeth to go mad (insane), or mad (really, really angry)?"

(inspired by a poor production I saw recently. I don't think that was even a (mad) directorial decision - just remarkably bad acting)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The Influence of Mozart's 41st Symphony on Bach.


----------



## hpowders

Shouldn't there be threads with "degree of difficulty" like they do in the Olympic games?

Post No. 1: Say I'm a poster with say, 11,850 posts. I could go to a 2.0 degree of difficulty rated thread and get credit for 2 posts for each post I put on that thread (75 posts and I'm there!), thus fast tracking my post count to 12,000 in half the time as I would by posting on a typical poll thread with degree of difficulty 1.0 (150 posts needed) or Current Listening, degree of difficulty 0.5 (300 posts needed).

Sounds like a good idea?


----------



## Guest

Which Terry Pratchett novels would make the best operas?

(actually...)


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Correct. Over the years, I've earned more than 140 000 Danish crowns (roughly $20,000) by including subliminal messages in my TC posts. Commercial subliminal messages, that is. At least some of you have surely been affected by my posts.
> 
> "Can anyone become a paid poster?" you may ask. Of course not. Less than 1% of TC users are paid posters, but for us selected few, life is sweet! All you really need to do to be paid rather handsomely is _to make sure that the capital letters in the beginning of the sentences in your post spell out the name of the advertiser..._


I had to declare TC earnings on my income tax. Don't tell anybody.


----------



## hpowders

Observation: When somebody leaves, it's really difficult to increase one's post count.
Debate. Discuss. Without rancor/rancour please.


----------



## Albert7

An examination of Schubert's coded messages within the chord structures of his lieder in relation to potential girlfriends that the composer may have had during his lifetime.


----------



## TresPicos

Putting everyone on your "ignore" list - how to turn TC into your own private Zen garden

Elevator music - can classical music truly be used for something else?

Poll: are TC polls better or worse than polls on other sites? 
- yes
- other
(give examples with links to competing sites)

Subjective opinions on music is ruining the friendly climat on TalkClassical - we must find ways to discuss music objectively!

Instead of a post count being displayed below our avatars, we should have our listening count displayed (each user should PM the moderators with a list of classical music works that he or she has heard, so the moderators can establish the count, and every time you listen to a new work, send another PM to inform the moderators, so they can update your listening count)


----------



## Dim7

Infinitely recursive review thread - first somebody reviews a piece of music, then the next poster reviews the review, then the next poster reviews the review of the review etc.

Swords, guns & other weapons in place of batons and improved performance results


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> Which Terry Pratchett novels would make the best operas?
> 
> (actually...)


 _Maskerade_. . .


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> _Maskerade_. . .


A composition by John Cage hiherto just discovered entitled "The Maskerade is Over."


----------



## Celloman

daerhT noissucsiD edargorteR ehT


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> daerhT noissucsiD edargorteR ehT


Translation of that thesis title into Pig Latin and spoken three times in a row quickly.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here:

Post No. 1: Do you guys have a daily posting quota? I heard a rumor that you guys may be the first forum to implement that.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Innocent album cover or nefariously subtle smoking ad? Is Deutsche Grammophon in cahoots with the smoking industry? Discuss.


----------



## Albert7

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Innocent album cover or nefariously subtle smoking ad? Is Deutsche Grammophon in cahoots with the smoking industry? Discuss.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 66645


Due to that discovery the General Surgeon's Warning will have to applied along with a Parental Advisory sticker to all classical music album covers featuring tobacco products. Photoshopped images not permitted.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Newbie here:
> 
> Post No. 1: Do you guys have a daily posting quota? I heard a rumor that you guys may be the first forum to implement that.


Penalty for minimum posting count. Each member is required to do at least one post per day so that disenfranchisement does not occur.

And posts have to relevant to one facet of the great masters including Beethoven, Haydn, Mozart, etc. or deletion will occur.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Innocent album cover or nefariously subtle smoking ad? Is Deutsche Grammophon in cahoots with the smoking industry? Discuss.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 66645


If that's an advert, what's Winston Churchill?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> If that's an advert, what's Winston Churchill?


Winston Churchill Symphony No. 3 = questionable Bax piece.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Stupid Thread Ideas (Repeat)

Recycle old Stupid Thread Ideas and pass them off as your own work.

Me first:


See what ridiculous thread ideas you can come up with! Here are some...

"Wagner: Did He Kill Natalie Wood?"

"Why Doesn't My Grandmother like John Cage's Music?"

"Beethoven, Anger Management, and the Ethics of Stalking"

"Schoenberg's 12-Tone Method Didn't really Exist, It Was All Tonal"

"Were George and Ira Gershwin Anti-Semites?"

"Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Morton Feldman's Music"

"Webern at Beyreuth"


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Thread Ideas (Repeat)

Recycle old Stupid Thread Ideas and pass them off as your own work.

Me first:


See what ridiculous thread ideas you can come up with! Here are some...

"Wagner: Did He Kill Natalie Wood?"

"Why Doesn't My Grandmother like John Cage's Music?"

"Beethoven, Anger Management, and the Ethics of Stalking"

"Schoenberg's 12-Tone Method Didn't really Exist, It Was All Tonal"

"Were George and Ira Gershwin Anti-Semites?"

"Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Morton Feldman's Music"

"Webern at Beyreuth"


----------



## Balthazar

*Historical Revisionism, Part XVII*

*Anecdotes of Haydn's formative years in New Jersey*
_________________________________________________

Should we be using Piscataway Numbers?

N.B. The posting of "evidence" or "facts" contradicting the above is strictly _verboten_.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Stupid Thread Ideas (Repeat)
> 
> Recycle old Stupid Thread Ideas and pass them off as your own work.
> 
> Me first:
> 
> See what ridiculous thread ideas you can come up with! Here are some...
> 
> "Wagner: Did He Kill Natalie Wood?"
> 
> "Why Doesn't My Grandmother like John Cage's Music?"
> 
> "Beethoven, Anger Management, and the Ethics of Stalking"
> 
> "Schoenberg's 12-Tone Method Didn't really Exist, It Was All Tonal"
> 
> "Were George and Ira Gershwin Anti-Semites?"
> 
> "Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Morton Feldman's Music"
> 
> "Webern at Beyreuth"


Ooh, I'll join in.

Recycle old Stupid Thread Ideas and pass them off as your own work.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Moderators - please remove the double post (#3896) I accidentally posted under the pseudonym of 'Dim7'


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Your Top 10 Favourite Double Posts

Your Top 10 Favourite Spammers

Your Top 10 Favourite Thread Closings

Your Top 10 Least Favourite Mods


----------



## Albert7

Gaining copyrights to previous STI and then making Post-Its using the sayings for the Bernstein fund.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"Stupid Listening"
"One More Beethoven String Quartet by Any Composer"
"What happens in your life - come in and limit the posts made by any one member!"
"Why so many recent threads on music?"


----------



## Albert7

"Why so serious about classical music?"
"Why does the Moonlight Sonata not refer to sunlight?"
"Who goes there, Rubenstein or Cortot?"


----------



## SimonNZ

MoonlightSonata said:


> "Why so many recent threads on music?"


Heh. Bravo to that one.


----------



## Albert7

"Why so [preposition of your choice] threads on [adjective] [composer or musician]'s music?"

Create 100 threads like theme and variations using that template.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Albert7 said:


> "Why so [preposition of your choice] threads on [adjective] [composer or musician]'s music?"
> 
> Create 100 threads like theme and variations using that template.


What are you waiting for, Albert?


----------



## Albert7

The Mozart spy who loved me.


----------



## Albert7

STI timer went off just now: I could be the only last man standing... with the dunce cap here.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> STI timer went off just now: I could be the only last man standing... with the dunce cap here.



I'm sorry, I don't get this at all.


----------



## SimonNZ

Albert7 said:


> Gaining copyrights to previous STI and then making Post-Its using the sayings for the Bernstein fund.


And could you explain this one while you're at it?

And then if you could also help me make sense of this one:



Albert7 said:


> The Mozart spy who loved me.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> I'm sorry, I don't get this at all.


No worries. Sometimes I am not sure of what I mean myself either. 

Idea: pitch analysis of Beethoven's Hammerklavier Sonata performed backwards.


----------



## Albert7

SimonNZ said:


> And could you explain this one while you're at it?
> 
> And then if you could also help me make sense of this one:


The first idea alludes to the absurdity of the patent system with regards to corporate connections and it's absurdity. Note that it alludes back to William Gaddis' novel A Frolic of His Own.

Second idea is a James Bond allusion. Also a running joke about the symmetry in the opening sequence and a Mozart visualization.

No worries absurdity of ideas is a very easy job here pour moi.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> No worries. Sometimes I am not sure of what I mean myself either.
> 
> Idea: pitch analysis of Beethoven's Hammerklavier Sonata performed backwards.


If you don't understand it... why post it?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> If you don't understand it... why post it?


Because dadaism is at the heart of absurdity and stupidity.

The [Dada] poem can be concocted from any ingredients so long as they are combined with chance: 'Take a newspaper./ Take some scissors./ Choose from this paper an article of the length you want to make your poem./ Cut out the article. Next carefully cut out each of the words that makes up this article and put/ them all in a bag. Shake gently./ Next take out each cutting one after the other./ Copy conscientiously in the order i which they left the bag./ The poem will resemble you./ And there you are-an infinitely original author of charming sensibility, even though unappreciated by the vulgar herd.

Tristan Tzara, (1920) Dada Manifesto on Feeble Love and Bitter Love - his recipe to make Dada-poetry; ; as quoted in Looking at Dada, eds. Sarah Ganz Blythe & Edward D. Powers - The Museum of Modern Art New York, ISBN: 087070-705-1; p. 27


----------



## SimonNZ

Albert7 said:


> The first idea alludes to the absurdity of the patent system with regards to corporate connections and it's absurdity. Note that it alludes back to William Gaddis' novel A Frolic of His Own.
> 
> Second idea is a James Bond allusion. Also a running joke about the symmetry in the opening sequence and a Mozart visualization.
> 
> No worries absurdity of ideas is a very easy job here pour moi.


Yeah...that didn't "help me make sense"

So I'm left to say _yet again_...

This thread isn't called "Random Word Salad" - its called "Stupid Thread Ideas"


----------



## SimonNZ

Albert7 said:


> Because dadaism is at the heart of absurdity and stupidity.


I'm pretty sure absurdity and stupidity predate Dada.

And this thread isn't called "Absurd Faux Dada" - its called "Stupid Thread Ideas"

But really..._this_ is exactly the response you're looking for isn't it?

You know you're not on topic and are annoying people because its been said dozens of times now.

_This_ is the fun part, isn't it?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Because dadaism is at the heart of absurdity and stupidity.
> 
> The [Dada] poem can be concocted from any ingredients so long as they are combined with chance: 'Take a newspaper./ Take some scissors./ Choose from this paper an article of the length you want to make your poem./ Cut out the article. Next carefully cut out each of the words that makes up this article and put/ them all in a bag. Shake gently./ Next take out each cutting one after the other./ Copy conscientiously in the order i which they left the bag./ The poem will resemble you./ And there you are-an infinitely original author of charming sensibility, even though unappreciated by the vulgar herd.
> 
> Tristan Tzara, (1920) Dada Manifesto on Feeble Love and Bitter Love - his recipe to make Dada-poetry; ; as quoted in Looking at Dada, eds. Sarah Ganz Blythe & Edward D. Powers - The Museum of Modern Art New York, ISBN: 087070-705-1; p. 27


Apologies, but I still don't quite understand. Are you writing avant-garde poetry on a thread ideas topic on a classical music discussion board? Have I misinterpreted this?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Apologies, but I still don't quite understand. Are you writing avant-garde poetry on a thread ideas topic on a classical music discussion board? Have I misinterpreted this?


Nope, I'm just explaining the philosophical basis for my profound stupidity here.


----------



## Celloman

Albert7 said:


> Nope, I'm just explaining the philosophical basis for my profound stupidity here.


Ah...that explains a lot!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Nope, I'm just explaining the philosophical basis for my profound stupidity here.


Could you please explain more simply?
I don't quite see how avant-garde poetry is relevant to a humorous classical music thread.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Could you please explain more simply?
> I don't quite see how avant-garde poetry is relevant to a humorous classical music thread.


It relates in the methodology that I construct STI ideas from those building blocks... As a former English major, STI is pretty simple. Just relate something classical music with a verbose linguistic construction and voila, there you have it.  STI.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> It relates in the methodology that I construct STI ideas from those building blocks... As a former English major, STI is pretty simple. Just relate something classical music with a verbose linguistic construction and voila, there you have it.  STI.


So essentially just putting various classical-music-related words into nonsense sentences?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Not-so-stupid thread idea:

Construct a container for the members of your forum to post their most stupid thoughts, and dissipate their energies, which could otherwise disrupt the smooth running of your forum. Meddle not, allow the most absurd ideas to reside there, take wing, thrive, breed even. Encourage people to use it. Do absolutely nothing which might disrupt the function of said container. Sit back and relax.

Just a thought.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TurnaboutVox said:


> Not-so-stupid thread idea:
> 
> Construct a container for the members of your forum to post their most stupid thoughts, and dissipate their energies, which could otherwise disrupt the smooth running of your forum. Meddle not, allow the most absurd ideas to reside there, take wing, thrive, breed even. Encourage people to use it. Do absolutely nothing which might disrupt the function of said container. Sit back and relax.
> 
> Just a thought.


Poll: Does millionrainbows deserve Super Moderator status for starting this thread?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Does millionrainbows deserve Super Moderator status for starting this thread?


Ah well, he certainly does deserve credit for a very clever idea, MS.


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Does millionrainbows deserve Super Moderator status for starting this thread?





TurnaboutVox said:


> Ah well, he certainly does deserve credit for a very clever idea, MS.


I'm not moderator material; I'm too moody. Anyway, I don't think this idea is that original. I seem to remember something similar on a forum far, far away...but thanks anyway. That's the second time I've heard that suggestion, as unlikely as it is.


----------



## hpowders

List the posters on TC you respect but are not infatuated with.


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed!!

Post No. 1: I am only sixteen. I love Dvorak's A Major Sextet. Do I need one of my parents to buy it for me because of the title, sextet?


----------



## Dim7

Just think about the absurdity of this all. 262 pages... of _stupid thread ideas_ :lol: And most absurdly it's been incredibly fun.


----------



## hpowders

And it hasn't even been closed down for even minor repairs, though I could soooooo easily get that accomplished if they simply unmuzzle me!


----------



## hpowders

Can the ToS be suspended just for me on my birthday so I can write anything I want for those 24 hours, under the "Birthday Immunity Sub-Clause"?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: What is your purpose in leaving here? Choose up to three.
Public Poll.

1. I'm bored.

2. Rap's better.

3. Good posters also left, so why not me too?

4. Tired of posting the same two Haydn CDs over and over on Current Listening and nobody seems to notice.

5. Let's see if anyone misses me and writes good things about me, wishing I would return.

6. I want to listen to Wagner's Ring and have no time for posting.

7. The poll questions are just too dang ridiculous.

8. Something's wrong when the best thread on TC is "Stupid Thread Ideas".

9. I've missed too many important phone calls while in the middle of typing.

10. Other.


----------



## Celloman

You can get away with a lot more on a thread about "stupid ideas" than you could get away with on most other threads. The moral expectations are much lower here. You could call that an anomaly or just plain dumb luck. I don't know, but it sure is fun to play with matches, ain't it?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Poll: What is your purpose in leaving here? Choose up to three.
> Public Poll.
> 
> 1. I'm bored.
> 
> 2. Rap's better.
> 
> 3. Good posters also left, so why not me too?
> 
> 4. Tired of posting the same two Haydn CDs over and over on Current Listening and nobody seems to notice.
> 
> 5. Let's see if anyone misses me and writes good things about me, wishing I would return.
> 
> 6. I want to listen to Wagner's Ring and have no time for posting.
> 
> 7. The poll questions are just too dang ridiculous.
> 
> 8. Something's wrong when the best thread on TC is "Stupid Thread Ideas".
> 
> 9. I've missed too many important phone calls while in the middle of typing.
> 
> 10. Other.


What worries me is that several of those are actually true...


----------



## hpowders

So what does it take to be like-worthy on TC?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> So what does it take to be like-worthy on TC?


Bribing people for likes on TC... secret methods.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Albert7 said:


> Bribing people for likes on TC... secret methods.


Oh boy Albert...

There's a reason why this thread is called STI.


----------



## Albert7

SeptimalTritone said:


> Oh boy Albert...
> 
> There's a reason why this thread is called STI.


For some, bribery is a form of political stupidity... especially when it involves putting Luigi Nono on the ballot for Italian president.


----------



## Lord Lance

hpowders said:


> List the posters on TC you respect but are not infatuated with.


Well..... if only infatuations were allowed...


----------



## Lord Lance

hpowders said:


> Can the ToS be suspended just for me on my birthday so I can write anything I want for those 24 hours, under the "Birthday Immunity Sub-Clause"?


I suspect with enough cake and wine, yes. Moderators are humans too, _supposedly_.


----------



## Lord Lance

hpowders said:


> Do you listen to classical music while vacuuming?
> 
> Post No. 1: I need some input. Whenever I try to do this, I can't hear the music. Suggestions welcome.


Equip your vacuum cleaner with a noise suppressor. Simple.

NOTE: May or may not require infiltration of a military base.*

*You may or may not get arrested.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Putting everyone on your "ignore" list - how to turn TC into your own private Zen garden
> 
> Elevator music - can classical music truly be used for something else?
> 
> Poll: are TC polls better or worse than polls on other sites?
> - yes
> - other
> (give examples with links to competing sites)
> 
> Subjective opinions on music is ruining the friendly climat on TalkClassical - we must find ways to discuss music objectively!
> 
> Instead of a post count being displayed below our avatars, we should have our listening count displayed (each user should PM the moderators with a list of classical music works that he or she has heard, so the moderators can establish the count, and every time you listen to a new work, send another PM to inform the moderators, so they can update your listening count)


My "ignore" list is longer than my list for Santa Claus and I thought NOTHING could be longer than that!!


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> My "ignore" list is longer than my list for Santa Claus and I thought NOTHING could be longer than that!!


Is there an entrance/exit exam to (/out of) your ignore list?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Is there an entrance/exit exam to (/out of) your ignore list?


Why? You aren't on it.


----------



## hpowders

*I Really Hate Myself!!*

Post No. 1: I really can't stand myself anymore and when I tried to put myself on my "ignore" list, the request was rejected.
I can't even do THAT right!!
Suggestions?


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Why? You aren't on it.


Out of curiosity (I passed the "Curiosity exit exam").


----------



## millionrainbows

If they can use Aaron Copland's music for "Where's the Beef," Beethoven's Fifth for Judge Judy, and Rossini for "The Lone Ranger," then:

Schoenberg's Wind Quintet for Prozac

Barber's Adagio for Strings for Red Lobster, showing slo-mo butter splashing on lobster tail

Strauss' Four Last Songs for life insurance commercials


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> *I Really Hate Myself!!*
> 
> Post No. 1: I really can't stand myself anymore and when I tried to put myself on my "ignore" list, the request was rejected.
> I can't even do THAT right!!
> Suggestions?


You can't ignore yourself, but you CAN report your own posts to the moderators! I report all my posts.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> You can't ignore yourself, but you CAN report your own posts to the moderators! I report all my posts.


Thanks. That IS a fine idea!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*A Petition*

We can report our own posts, but not like them! This is an outrage!
Sign the petition to change this and give narcissists a voice!


----------



## Celloman

I say we should be allowed to change other peoples' posts whenever we want.

Now that would be fun.


----------



## Albert7

Failed to be stupid on Sunday... bravo me. (It was my daughter's b-day so I was respectful of that day.) Now it's stupiding time.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> I say we should be allowed to change other peoples' posts whenever we want.
> 
> Now that would be fun.


I say we should be allowed to ban other people whenever we want.

Now that _would_ be fun :devil:


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> I say we should be allowed to ban other people whenever we want.
> 
> Now that _would_ be fun :devil:


If you ban me first, then you will be bribed by the henchmen.


----------



## Blancrocher

MoonlightSonata said:


> I say we should be allowed to ban other people whenever we want.
> 
> Now that _would_ be fun :devil:


We tried this a year ago and it was a disaster. 3/4 of the forum's members banned each other to cut down on the number of posts they had to read in Current Listening.


----------



## Albert7

Cornering the market on virtual stupid ideas... with Schumann's aid.


----------



## hpowders

Have great posters ever wasted their skills on TC?

(Subtitled: What on earth am I doing here?)


----------



## Balthazar

*Historical Revisionism, Part IX*

*Verdi's pivotal role in the independence movement of his native South America.*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*V*enezuela and
*E*cuador
*R*eally
*D*eserve
*I*t.

N.B. The posting of "evidence" or "facts" contradicting the above is strictly _verboten_.


----------



## Dim7

Russian classical music - where to stop?

Why so many humans in classical music?


----------



## Albert7

How Russian-sounding is Russian music if you measured it with a magnet?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Deleted post - please ignore


----------



## Albert7

Deleted post unearthed through a phonograph bell.


----------



## hpowders

Why is it that many STI's seem to be more intelligent and stimulating than those on the regular forum?
Discuss. Debate. No rancor/rancour please!


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Why is it that many STI's seem to be more intelligent and stimulating than those on the regular forum?
> Discuss. Debate. No rancor/rancour please!


Is the negation of a STI statement an intelligent statement then?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Is the negation of a STI statement an intelligent statement then?


I would consider that to be fairly obvious.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> I would consider that to be fairly obvious.


Sometimes the obvious isn't so obvious... or was that another silly truth at work?


----------



## Dim7

Record imitations of TC members' voices as you imagine them sounding like


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Discuss. Debate. No rancor/rancour please!


Spoilsport mayhem forever.


----------



## Silkenblack

Is enough really enough?

Why more than enough is enough?


----------



## Lord Lance

Silkenblack said:


> Is enough really enough?
> 
> Why more than enough is enough?


You want _more_ than more than enough?


----------



## Lord Lance

Bolero: Ravel at his most self-indulgent or the piece that needs public banning?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Lord Lance said:


> Bolero: Ravel at his most self-indulgent or the piece that needs public banning?


Some would say both.


----------



## hpowders

*Was my psychiatrist right??*

Post No. 1: My shrink suggested I listen to classical music as a drug-free anxiety reducer.

Meanwhile, I read what hpowders, TC's greatest poster, IMHO, wrote, that "classical music should stimulate, excite, transport one to a higher state", etc.

So who's right?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> *Was my psychiatrist right??*
> 
> Post No. 1: My shrink suggested I listen to classical music as a drug-free anxiety reducer.
> 
> Meanwhile, I read what hpowders, TC's greatest poster, IMHO, wrote, that "classical music should stimulate, excite, transport one to a higher state", etc.
> 
> So who's right?


Both. When you are transported to the higher state, you are too busy wondering how you got there to be anxious.


----------



## Albert7

Lord Lance said:


> Bolero: Ravel at his most self-indulgent or the piece that needs public banning?


Humming Bolero as a shower aria.


----------



## Silkenblack

Lord Lance said:


> You want _more_ than more than enough?


I personally get done with scarcely enough. If it's good, it evolves to the coveted Made Good.


----------



## hpowders

If camels had opposing thumbs, might they have been better composers than John Cage?
Please support your views with examples from scores.


----------



## Silkenblack

hp,

just when we gentlemen dealt with camel toes, no way there's more!


----------



## Lord Lance

Gould: An eccentric genius or the most popular sociopath ever?


----------



## Albert7

Drinking whiskey branded by Brahms' cellar owners.


----------



## hpowders

Silkenblack said:


> hp,
> 
> just when we gentlemen dealt with camel toes, no way there's more!


The only medical program someone like me with limited intelligence is eligible for in the US is "Board Certification: Podiatry for Camels".


----------



## Albert7

Smoked camels while listening to Vivaldi's complete cello concertos.


----------



## Lord Lance

Leonard Bernstein: Ultimate showman or most possessed performer ever?


----------



## Albert7

Lord Lance said:


> Leonard Bernstein: Ultimate showman or most possessed performer ever?


Demons shake shake and bake Bernstein approach in Mozart.


----------



## Lord Lance

Albert7 said:


> Demons shake shake and bake Bernstein approach in Mozart.


Um.... could you re-speak those words in bear terms?


----------



## TradeMark

What secrets lie behind the beard of Johannes Brahms?
Robert Schumann, a true romantic, or a dirty communist?
Depression, Haydn, and salmonella, where did it all start?
Why does listening to Bach make my pancakes taste good?


----------



## hpowders

Why has Leonard Bernstein stopped recording Haydn Symphonies?


----------



## Lord Lance

hpowders said:


> Why has Leonard Bernstein stopped recording Haydn Symphonies?


Sorry to break it to you, Mr. H, but.....

_Bernstein is bored of Haydn_.


----------



## Albert7

Lord Lance said:


> Um.... could you re-speak those words in bear terms?


That is rather bear-y smart of you there if you could analyze Bartok String Quartets with a bear-y approach for me.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Demons shake shake and bake Bernstein approach in Mozart.


Please, do explain this one.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Please, do explain this one.


Shake and bake =


----------



## hpowders

Lord Lance said:


> Sorry to break it to you, Mr. H, but.....
> 
> _Bernstein is bored of Haydn_.


Whew!!! I thought it might have been something more serious! I'll keep watching to see if his interest gets re-kindled.


----------



## Albert7

Lord Lance said:


> Sorry to break it to you, Mr. H, but.....
> 
> _Bernstein is bored of Haydn_.


Anything to back this up? Seriously I beg to differ:


----------



## hpowders

Will Mozart ever get to finish his Requiem and if so, any inside dope as to when?


----------



## Lord Lance

hpowders said:


> Whew!!! I thought it might have been something more serious! I'll keep watching to see if his interest gets re-kindled.


Oh and Bernstein is dead too...

So there's that.


----------



## Lord Lance

hpowders said:


> Will Mozart ever get to finish his Requiem and if so, any inside dope as to when?


Analysts predict that in the year 3756 Mozart will resurrect from his grave and finish all his work. A mere wait of another 1741 years then.


----------



## KenOC

Recently got a recording of Bach, something called "Well-tempered Clavier." I think he plays really well!


----------



## Albert7

Lord Lance said:


> Analysts predict that in the year 3756 Mozart will resurrect from his grave and finish all his work. A mere wait of another 1741 years then.


A science fiction movie unearthed with Mozart's ghost making an appearance based on a script by Arthur Clarke.


----------



## hpowders

Why are repeats taken? 

Post No. 1: I don't have all day. Why do conductors do that?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Why are repeats taken?
> 
> Post No. 1: I don't have all day. Why do conductors do that?


Can you repeat that? Again?


----------



## Albert7

KenOC said:


> Recently got a recording of Bach, something called "Well-tempered Clavier." I think he plays really well!


I have two copies of the "Bad-Tempered Clavier" Books III and IV which I am willing to donate to any TC folks who PM me about those.


----------



## hpowders

*So Schumann's a female?*

Post No. 1: I ordered Schumann's Piano Concerto in A Minor-amazingly cheap at only 39 cents and on the cover I saw

Clara Schumann Piano Concerto in A Minor.

Yet photos show a dude. He's transexual?


----------



## hpowders

If Bach and Handel were dead, I'd vote Vivaldi the best of the three.
How about you?


----------



## arpeggio

I do not know what to 'like' anymore. Any advice?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed: Diamond Dust Speaker Wire.

Post No. 1: I just spent a lot of money for the Ultimate Speaker Wire™ with genuine diamond dust. After hooking it up, I got no sound at all.
I need some help with hooking it up properly.


----------



## hpowders

How to diengage "Like" System? I am posting for The Ages.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

hpowders said:


> Help needed: Diamond Dust Speaker Wire.
> 
> Post No. 1: I just spent a lot of money for the Ultimate Speaker Wire™ with genuine diamond dust. After hooking it up, I got no sound at all.
> I need some help with hooking it up properly.


This type of high end audiophile accessory can only be properly installed by a trained Diamond Dust Speaker Wire[SUP]TM[/SUP] technician, sir.

But fortunately, here at Turnabout Elite Audio Services, England we can offer you the services of our technician at only US$1500 per hour. Installation should not us take more than 3 days, and is worth every dollar for the improved performance of your system. High frequencies will be extended to an incredible 77KHz and the imaging of your system will be so much more realistic that when you shut your eyes you'll believe you're actually at the concert hall.

For an extra US$ 500 / hour you can make use of our Remote Audio Feng Shui System[SUP]TM[/SUP]. _Our Feng Shui technician will not even have to visit your home in person to optimise your sound experience!_

PS Take advantage now of our offer on the new Acoustic Waveform Emission Signature Omega-Magnetic Energiser [SUP]Pat. Applied for (North Korea)[/SUP] SoundPebbles[SUP]TM[/SUP] which will take your system up to the next level - only US$2750 for each 1 kilogram 'AWESOME' SoundPebble unit.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Why are repeats taken?
> 
> Post No. 1: I don't have all day. Why do conductors do that?


They do it to annoy you, and because they can.


----------



## Haydn man

TurnaboutVox said:


> This type of high end audiophile accessory can only be properly installed by a trained Diamond Dust Speaker Wire[SUP]TM[/SUP] technician, sir.
> 
> But fortunately, here at Turnabout Elite Audio Services, England we can offer you the services of our technician at only US$1500 per hour. Installation should not us take more than 3 days, and is worth every dollar for the improved performance of your system. High frequencies will be extended to an incredible 77KHz and the imaging of your system will be so much more realistic that when you shut your eyes you'll believe you're actually at the concert hall.
> 
> For an extra US$ 500 / hour you can make use of our Remote Audio Feng Shui System[SUP]TM[/SUP]. _Our Feng Shui technician will not even have to visit your home in person to optimise your sound experience!_
> 
> PS Take advantage now of our offer on the new Acoustic Waveform Emission Signature Omega-Magnetic Energiser [SUP]Pat. Applied for (North Korea)[/SUP] SoundPebbles[SUP]TM[/SUP] which will take your system up to the next level - only US$2750 for each 1 kilogram 'AWESOME' SoundPebble unit.


Will they make my mum's clock radio sound better?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> They do it to annoy you, and because they can.


Okay. I will try not to let it annoy me to get even with them!


----------



## Dim7

Tautological sayings

"You should not do foolish things."

"Everything a man wants to accomplish in his life he needs to do before his death."

"Some things you either love, hate, dislike, like or feel indifferent about."


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Haydn man said:


> Will they make my mum's clock radio sound better?


That depends on how much she believes in the products, sir!


----------



## Becca

Haydn man said:


> Will they make my mum's clock radio sound better?


Today only we have are having a special on Carnegie Hall, only $24,999,999. Buy within the next 30 minutes and we will give you a 10% discount. Your mother's clock radio is guaranteed to sound perfect in this environment.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The Eight Best Composers from Other Planets


----------



## hpowders

Poll: The best Music to Play Vulcan Three Dimensional Chess to.
Choose up to three compositions.
Public Poll.


----------



## Dim7

Human, AI, bird, whale or extraterrestial composers, which do you prefer?


----------



## Celloman

MoonlightSonata said:


> The Eight Best Composers from Other Planets


Sometimes, Ligeti _sounds_ like he's from another planet...


----------



## hpowders

Poll: The best "live" music from the best dead composers.
Choose up to four compositions.
Poll ends 12/13/2017.5


----------



## MoonlightSonata

My new symphonic poem: _*The Flavours*_:
*I: Strawberry* - a movement which celebrates the fruity freshness of strawberry flavour.
*II: Vanilla *- a slow, luscious movement celebrating the rich tastes of vanilla.
*III: Raspberry Ripple* - a masterpiece, if I do say so myself. The raspberry is represented by a bright woodwind theme while the strings play the vanilla theme from the second movement.


----------



## hpowders

When will it appear on You Tube, so we can make you sorry you ever attempted it?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> When will it appear on You Tube, so we can make you sorry you ever attempted it?


I'll put it up on the 31st of April.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> The Eight Best Composers from Other Planets


I can't play. I could only come up with three.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I'll put it up on the 31st of April.


More appropriate for April 1st!


----------



## Dim7

classical composers you find in strange places

"I just found Philip Glass in my fridge."


----------



## hpowders

Favorite dead works by living composers. Choose up to four.
Debate. Discuss. No rancor please. Monitored thread.


----------



## Balthazar

*Historical Revisionism, Part XIII*

*Benjamin Britten's wives as models for soprano roles in Billy Budd*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did his third wife Amelia inspire the loud-mouthed Duchess in Act IV?

N.B. The posting of "evidence" or "facts" contradicting the above is strictly _verboten_.


----------



## hpowders

*Did Britten struggle with the last line Balstrode spoke to Peter Grimes?*

Post No. 1: The original last line to Peter was supposed to be "Hey Peter, whatever floats your boat!"
The revision of course is "Take your boat 'til you lose sight of land and then sink her!" "Goodbye Peter."

Why was it changed?


----------



## hpowders

So who's the most interesting classical composer? Newbie here.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> classical composers you find in strange places
> 
> "I just found Philip Glass in my fridge."


Lucky you.

I just found Britten under my bed.


----------



## KenOC

hpowders said:


> *Did Britten struggle with the last line Balstrode spoke to Peter Grimes?*
> 
> Post No. 1: The original last line to Peter was supposed to be "Hey Peter, whatever floats your boat!"
> The revision of course is "Take your boat 'til you lose sight of land and then sink her!" "Goodbye Peter."
> 
> Why was it changed?


An intermediate draft: "Peter, get a good lawyer and deny everything."


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> My new symphonic poem: _*The Flavours*_:
> *I: Strawberry* - a movement which celebrates the fruity freshness of strawberry flavour.
> *II: Vanilla *- a slow, luscious movement celebrating the rich tastes of vanilla.
> *III: Raspberry Ripple* - a masterpiece, if I do say so myself. The raspberry is represented by a bright woodwind theme while the strings play the vanilla theme from the second movement.


I want someone to write an American suite/poem/etc with movements like "Walmart Tableaux" and "The Return Of The McRib"


----------



## KenOC

MoonlightSonata said:


> I just found Britten under my bed.


Next to Michael Jackson?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Lucky you.
> 
> I just found Britten under my bed.


Ermm....lucky you!


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> Next to Michael Jackson?


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

Lord Lance said:


> Analysts predict that in the year 3756 Mozart will resurrect from his grave and finish all his work. A mere wait of another 1741 years then.


The "Z" in Mozart stands for "zombie." Maybe Saleri gave him a suspended-animation drug.


----------



## millionrainbows

The Nazis hated jazz, and Adorno hated jazz. The Nazis liked Wagner, and Adorno liked Wagner.

Was Adorno a Nazi?


----------



## millionrainbows

New, from the Philip Glass Archives:

*Philip Glass: The Early Taxi-Driving Years: The Mix Tapes*


----------



## millionrainbows

*How Schoenberg and his circle Foreshadowed the Zombie Apocalypse* *in Music and Painting
*






























Schoenberg Decomposes, acrylic paste and oils on board, 12 x 8", 1962 sold" title="Henry Schwartz, _Schoenberg Decomposes_, acrylic paste and oils on board, 12 x 8", 1962 sold">


----------



## millionrainbows

Most Grizzled Composers Gallery


----------



## hpowders

Which Requiem is better, Wagner's Parsifal Requiem or Mozart's Regular Requiem?


----------



## Celloman

*Nazi Censorship Thread*

We all know that the Nazis censored a large amount of Classical music during the thirties and forties and were _completely_ justified in doing so. Much of that music was vulgar, offensive, and ran against the benevolent ideals that were upheld by that worthy regime.

How do you support the wonderful legacy of censorship that began with the rise of Nazism? Disagreement with the opinions of the OP are strictly *verboten*! Please discuss, and keep it friendly.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Which Requiem is better, Wagner's Parsifal Requiem or Mozart's Regular Requiem?


Or Sussmayr's Mozart's Regular Requiem Requiem?


----------



## Dim7

advice about giving advice for your current self


----------



## hpowders

Is it bad here to write entertaining posts on TC or must I always be serious because it's classical music?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> advice about giving advice for your current self


Advice to give your future self about how to give advice to your past self.

And technically yes, this does make sense.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Be honest here #√5: Do you enjoy orchestral music with exactly 9 cellos in the cello section?


----------



## Dim7

*Newcomer doesn't care about Borodin*

Hey, as a newbie to to this site I'd like to say that Borodin is the classical composer I feel the most indifferent about. When it comes to non-classical music technical blackened-death folk rap reggae techno metal is the genre that has been the most "meh".


----------



## millionrainbows

The Griller String Quartet: Now Available for Barbeques


----------



## millionrainbows

Celloman said:


> *Nazi Censorship Thread*
> 
> We all know that the Nazis censored a large amount of Classical music during the thirties and forties and were _completely_ justified in doing so. Much of that music was vulgar, offensive, and ran against the benevolent ideals that were upheld by that worthy regime.
> 
> How do you support the wonderful legacy of censorship that began with the rise of Nazism? Disagreement with the opinions of the OP are strictly *verboten*! Please discuss, and keep it friendly.


Frankly, I have always suspected that all the anti-modernists on this forum are Nazis.


----------



## Polyphemus

millionrainbows said:


> The Griller String Quartet: Now Available for Barbeques


But how do they taste ?


----------



## Polyphemus

Celloman said:


> *Nazi Censorship Thread*
> 
> We all know that the Nazis censored a large amount of Classical music during the thirties and forties and were _completely_ justified in doing so. Much of that music was vulgar, offensive, and ran against the benevolent ideals that were upheld by that worthy regime.
> 
> How do you support the wonderful legacy of censorship that began with the rise of Nazism? Disagreement with the opinions of the OP are strictly *verboten*! Please discuss, and keep it friendly.


The Treaty of Versailles


----------



## Kivimees

Desert Island CDs:

You are stuck on a desert island without a CD player. You are allowed to have 10 CDs with you. Which would you choose? What would you do with each one? Detailed responses please.


----------



## Polyphemus

Kivimees said:


> Desert Island CDs:
> 
> You are stuck on a desert island without a CD player. You are allowed to have 10 CDs with you. Which would you choose? What would you do with each one? Detailed responses please.


10 copies of 4' 33". Play frisbee and try to use the shiny surface to attract overflying planes.


----------



## millionrainbows

Polyphemus said:


> 10 copies of 4' 33". Play frisbee and try to use the shiny surface to attract overflying planes.


You could also make a solar oven.


----------



## millionrainbows

Polyphemus said:


> But how do they taste ?


I don't know, but they smell wonderful! The amazing thing is how they are able to grill and play at the same time. Some deft bow-work going on there!


----------



## Balthazar

*I'm gassy!*

Having tummy troubles? Post here to share the current state of your digestive tract.


----------



## Kivimees

I'm gassy!

Having tummy troubles? Post here to share the current state of your digestive tract. 

Detailed responses please.


----------



## Polyphemus

millionrainbows said:


> I don't know, but they smell wonderful! The amazing thing is how they are able to grill and play at the same time. Some deft bow-work going on there!


Its got to be a Furiant they are playing.


----------



## Celloman

Stupid thread idea:

...An April Fools' joke thread claiming that the complete manuscript of Sibelius' _Symphony No. 8_ was discovered in an attic. The poster would have to be a real idiot...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

millionrainbows said:


> The Griller String Quartet: Now Available for Barbeques


Love that texture.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Everyone's favorite type of poll... Versus!

Poll: Which avatar was superior?!

Bonus Question: Will there be a _*Resurrection*_ of the old avatar, perhaps on the _*2nd*_ of April?







*VS*


----------



## Mahlerian

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Everyone's favorite type of poll... Versus!
> 
> Poll: Which avatar was superior?!
> 
> Bonus Question: Will there be a _*Resurrection*_ of the old avatar, perhaps on the _*2nd*_ of April?
> 
> View attachment 67587
> *VS*
> View attachment 67588


I'm on the edge of my seat for this one. It's a battle between titans, that's for sure, and it would be tragic if this symphony of a thousand songs of the night were to end in farewell rather than resurrection, or almost.


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> I'm on the edge of my seat for this one. It's a battle between titans, that's for sure, and it would be tragic if this symphony of a thousand songs of the night were to end in farewell rather than resurrection, or almost.


Why not just cram the whole world into your avatar?


----------



## KenOC

Speaking of which, where do old avatars go when you stop using them?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Mahlerian said:


> I'm on the edge of my seat for this one. It's a battle between titans, that's for sure, and it would be tragic if this symphony of a thousand songs of the night were to end in farewell rather than resurrection, or almost.


Well played, sir, well played.

*Unable to handel that he was outgunned and outpunned, DiesIraeVIX went into haydn, never to return*


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Well played, sir, well played.
> 
> *Unable to handel that he was outgunned and outpunned, DiesIraeVIX went into haydn, never to return*


Please do come bach and visit some time.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

My vote goes with the beard.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

As you can see, I've signed to a new record label today - looking for a new direction, a new image. 
Goodbye to string quartets - welcome to a new TC Top 100+ list 

Nominate your top 12 Punk Singles of all time. Round one ends at midnight tonight!


----------



## hpowders

Newbie Here! Help Needed!

Post No. 1: I was thinking of joining TC today, but it's April Fools Day.
Should I postpone joining until tomorrow?
I want the other posters to take me seriously.


----------



## CBD

http://ustvolskaya.org/eng/dsch.php
What are your thoughts on this?


----------



## arpeggio

In order to be a SPEOBeeethovin how many recordings of his _Fifth Symphony_ should one have in his music collection. Like how many recording does one need so they can spell Beathoovine.


----------



## dgee

CBD said:


> http://ustvolskaya.org/eng/dsch.php
> What are your thoughts on this?


The letter from Suslin contains some brilliant zingers that really get to the core of Shos's orchestral music for me!

_Shostakovich created a vast repertoire which became a real balm for the soul of conductors and musicians who neither have the time nor the inclination to rehearse. Judge yourself: rhythmic difficulties are almost zero, the intonation problems are more than modest, the ensemble is simple (two-voice - tutti), and psychologically there are no issues with this music: it consists of familiar ingredients, with few exceptions. The lineup of the orchestra is extremely traditional, and the music is both entertaining and temperamental: one can show himself off effectively without undue effort. _

Probably why it's so popular today

_I personally find him at his most unpleasant when he falls into "noble pathos" or becomes deeply "profound" with diminished fourths and octaves - this kind of musical chewing gum for cellos and double basses fills dozens of minutes in his symphonies... _

_His symphonies are "publicly available pulp fiction" at a very high professional level. They are moderately entertaining, moderately boring, and moderately profound... _

_What remains is a fairly grey and mediocre music, as it gradually lost all its socio-hysterical (not historical) cock feathers, and it now appears before us in a plucked form._

Bracing and excellent


----------



## Guest

KenOC said:


> Speaking of which, where do old avatars go when you stop using them?


Ideally, they'll head straight to the avatar-recycling plant in Pittsburgh, so we can create more avatars with a reduced dependence on foreign avatars.


----------



## KenOC

dgee said:


> _What remains is a fairly grey and mediocre music, as it gradually lost all its socio-hysterical (not historical) cock feathers, and it now appears before us in a plucked form._


Or, as Robin Holloway said, DSCH's music is "battleship-grey in melody and harmony, factory-functional in structure; in content all rhetoric and coercion."

But I like it anyway! :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Pieces you can't listen to without eyes coming out of your ears

Why everything sucks and you suck for not realizing it


----------



## hpowders

Favorite performances of music you may have heard but aren't too sure you have.


----------



## Dim7

Music that transports your body

"I use Stockhausen for commuting to work. Teleporting by listening to music is fun and saves time."


----------



## TresPicos

What are your thoughts on this?


----------



## Dim7

Advice for starting a bad collection


----------



## Kivimees

Pick four composers you think would make a successful 4x100m relay team. What about 4x400m?


----------



## hpowders

Which composers were known to favor a manual transmission over an automatic transmission in their vehicles?


----------



## hpowders

I just need a mediocre collection-not really into it-any mediocre posters here on TC can help me with that?


----------



## Haydn man

hpowders said:


> I just need a mediocre collection-not really into it-any mediocre posters here on TC can help me with that?


I am your man then


----------



## ArtMusic

hpowders said:


> Which composers were known to favor a manual transmission over an automatic transmission in their vehicles?


Good question, who was that? I never thought about that.


----------



## hpowders

Haydn man said:


> I am your man then


Nah!! You are a Prince among posters!!! 

Could you imagine someone actually posting such a dumb request? :lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

ArtMusic said:


> Good question, who was that? I never thought about that.


I'm trying to get a handle on that!


----------



## Dim7

Imagine the following situation:

You are on a desert island with Beethoven. Suddenly Beethoven turns into a fish for no reason, and you eat him in order to stay alive. But eating the Beethoven-fish suddenly teleports you into Germany in the year 1930 where Schoenberg tells you about his plan to destroy mankind with atonal music. You kill Schoenberg with silken tofu, but then a random teletubbie decides to blow up Earth with a cute little song - after which space ballerinas reconstruct Earth in two seconds.

However, you are then informed by your pet accordion that you have been sentenced to death for _not_ breaking the ToS of TalkClassical and having post count that is too close to the average post count of reasonably active members. Before you are executed with a lollipop, you are allowed to have your last meal. The food (credit cards) is not your choice, but you can choose to eat either from a yellow or a red plate.

Which color of the plate for your last meal would be preferable in this case, and what is the best fret on a guitar? Debate, discuss.


----------



## JohnnyRotten

I'll have whatever it is you're smoking, Dim7.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Imagine the following situation:
> 
> You are on a desert island with Beethoven. Suddenly Beethoven turns into a fish for no reason, and you eat him in order to stay alive. But eating the Beethoven-fish suddenly teleports you into Germany in the year 1930 where Schoenberg tells you about his plan to destroy mankind with atonal music. You kill Schoenberg with silken tofu, but then a random teletubbie decides to blow up Earth with a cute little song - after which space ballerinas reconstruct Earth in two seconds.
> 
> However, you are then informed by your pet accordion that you have been sentenced to death for _not_ breaking the ToS of TalkClassical and having post count that is too close to the average post count of reasonably active members. Before you are executed with a lollipop, you are allowed to have your last meal. The food (credit cards) is not your choice, but you can choose to eat either from a yellow or a red plate.
> 
> Which color of the plate for your last meal would be preferable in this case, and what is the best fret on a guitar? Debate, discuss.


The ideal colour is a sheep, and the best fret is the _n_th fret.

Dim7, I think your programming is faulty. Maybe Dim8 should take over TC duty while you are being repaired.


----------



## Haydn man

Dim7 said:


> Imagine the following situation:
> 
> You are on a desert island with Beethoven. Suddenly Beethoven turns into a fish for no reason, and you eat him in order to stay alive. But eating the Beethoven-fish suddenly teleports you into Germany in the year 1930 where Schoenberg tells you about his plan to destroy mankind with atonal music. You kill Schoenberg with silken tofu, but then a random teletubbie decides to blow up Earth with a cute little song - after which space ballerinas reconstruct Earth in two seconds.
> 
> However, you are then informed by your pet accordion that you have been sentenced to death for _not_ breaking the ToS of TalkClassical and having post count that is too close to the average post count of reasonably active members. Before you are executed with a lollipop, you are allowed to have your last meal. The food (credit cards) is not your choice, but you can choose to eat either from a yellow or a red plate.
> 
> Which color of the plate for your last meal would be preferable in this case, and what is the best fret on a guitar? Debate, discuss.


This all appeared entirely sensible and reasonable until you got to the colour of the plate, which quite clearly should have been purple


----------



## Dim7

Haydn man, sorry but your objection makes no sense - obviously purple would be the ideal color but the question is about the lesser evil _given the choice_ between yellow and red. If you absolutely HAVE to choose yellow or red, a sheep is obviously the preferable color as MoonlightSonata said.


----------



## JohnnyRotten

Yeah, whatever. Pass it over, will 'ya?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed: I love Mozart, but hate classical. What should I do?


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Help needed: I love Mozart, but hate classical. What should I do?


Try heavy metal.


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> Imagine the following situation:
> 
> You are on a desert island with Beethoven. Suddenly Beethoven turns into a fish for no reason, and you eat him in order to stay alive. But eating the Beethoven-fish suddenly teleports you into Germany in the year 1930 where Schoenberg tells you about his plan to destroy mankind with atonal music. You kill Schoenberg with silken tofu, but then a random teletubbie decides to blow up Earth with a cute little song - after which space ballerinas reconstruct Earth in two seconds.
> 
> However, you are then informed by your pet accordion that you have been sentenced to death for _not_ breaking the ToS of TalkClassical and having post count that is too close to the average post count of reasonably active members. Before you are executed with a lollipop, you are allowed to have your last meal. The food (credit cards) is not your choice, but you can choose to eat either from a yellow or a red plate.
> 
> Which color of the plate for your last meal would be preferable in this case, and what is the best fret on a guitar? Debate, discuss.


Psychedelic Baby pass those cubes.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

What are your favorite fictional compositions that are actually real and everyone else is just crazy?

*Bach*: Critical Mass in C-Minor: For twenty mountain bikes, ten fixed-gears, and small orchestra
*Beethoven*: Ill-Tempered Clavier
*Beethoven*: 12 Attitude Études
*Stockhausen*: 9 "Jurassic Park" Waltzes on theme by John Williams


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which do you prefer: Franz Xaver Mozart or Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart? 
Mozart or Mozart?
Please defend your positions with references to actual scores.


----------



## Guest

PDQ Bach already did "The Ill-Tempered Clavier." Figures Beethoven would resort to ripping him off.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Victor Redseal said:


> PDQ Bach already did "The Ill-Tempered Clavier." Figures Beethoven would resort to ripping him off.


Haha, I thought he did the Short-Tempered Clavier.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Short-Tempered_Clavier_and_other_dysfunctional_works_for_keyboard

Ill-Tempered Clavier is a Beethoven original, man! And it's fitting.


----------



## Guest

DiesIraeVIX said:


> What are your favorite fictional compositions that are actually real and everyone else is just crazy?
> 
> *Bach*: Critical Mass in C-Minor: For twenty mountain bikes, ten fixed-gears, and small orchestra
> *Beethoven*: Ill-Tempered Clavier
> *Beethoven*: 12 Attitude Études
> *Stockhausen*: 9 "Jurassic Park" Waltzes on theme by John Williams


I'm sure Mauricio Kagel is capable of writing all of these 

My Czech e-friend and I once mused upon a grand opera based on the manifesto of Elliot Rodger.

Prologue: The Angels Chorus At The Birth Of Elliot Rodger, Interrupted By Mephistopheles 
Act I: The Childhood Of Rodger (Including the ballet music "World Of Warcraft")
Act II: The Despair Of Rodger (Including the famed "Starbucks Soliloquy")
Act III: The Descent Into Madness
Act IV: The Scheming Of Rodger 
Act V: The Downfall Of Rodger
Epilogue: Elliot Rodger Descends Into The Underworld And Is Mocked By More Sexually-Experienced Villains


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Whose music do you prefer? 
Johann Sebastian Bach or Keith Bach, that funny chap from down the road?

Bach or Bach? The choice is yours!


----------



## hpowders

The Talk Classical Amnesty Thread

Post No. 1: Here is the place for you to honestly say what you've been dying to say about other posters without penalty or retribution.


----------



## hpowders

Is This Okay?

Post No.1 : I like Bach's Christmas Oratorio. Can I play it the rest of the year too? I don't want to get in trouble.


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> Is This Okay?
> 
> Post No.1 : I like Bach's Christmas Oratorio. Can I I play it the rest of the year too? I don't want to get in trouble.


Once a year should be enough for you, my friend. More frustratingly, I've been waiting to listen to Shostakovich's Symphony 12 "The Year 1917" for decades and still haven't gotten the chance. If 1917 doesn't come along soon I may just give up.


----------



## Dim7

Congratulations for posters Haydn man and stevens for having the most slightly large amount of posts in Stupid Thread Ideas (27 posts for both, average ~26,81), that is to say among those STI posters who have above average post count in STI they have the least amount of posts.


----------



## Haydn man

Dim7 said:


> Congratulations for posters Haydn man and stevens for having the most slightly large amount of posts in Stupid Thread Ideas (27 posts for both, average ~26,81), that is to say among those STI posters who have above average post count in STI they have the least amount of posts.


Ermm. Thanks for that, I think


----------



## Dim7

Haydn man said:


> Ermm. Thanks for that, I think


By posting that you just lost this honorable position among posters in this thread  It belongs solely to stevens now.


----------



## hpowders

Good news! hpowders' autobiography is finally out: "Quantity, Quality, Time and Love"!!!

Read and discuss. Blog if you must.


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> Good news! hpowders' autobiography is finally out: "Quantity, Quality, Time and Love"!!!


Is that just the title, or did you quote the whole autobiography?


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> Is that just the title, or did you quote the whole autobiography?


Quiet. I'm trying to make a buck here!! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Whose music do you prefer?
> Johann Sebastian Bach or Keith Bach, that funny chap from down the road?
> 
> Bach or Bach? The choice is yours!


Give me 10 minutes to think it over. I don't want to make a stupid mistake. I'll be Bach!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Congratulations for posters Haydn man and stevens for having the most slightly large amount of posts in Stupid Thread Ideas (27 posts for both, average ~26,81), that is to say among those STI posters who have above average post count in STI they have the least amount of posts.


Where did you find those numbers?


----------



## hpowders

Classical Music Confessional:

Post No. 1: The music of Richard Strauss only sounds palatable to me when I am wearing my Levi Strauss Jeans.
Is this an example of the synergistic effect?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Congratulations for posters Haydn man and stevens for having the most slightly large amount of posts in Stupid Thread Ideas (27 posts for both, average ~26,81), that is to say among those STI posters who have above average post count in STI they have the least amount of posts.


What am I, chopped liver?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Where did you find those numbers?


In Classical music discussion, click the number of replies in Stupid Thread Ideas and you get this: http://www.talkclassical.com/misc.php?do=whoposted&t=33122


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> What am I, chopped liver?


You have the honor of having the least-slightly large post count in this thread.


----------



## hpowders

Has anyone tried yodeling while gargling?
Provide audition tape.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> You have the honor of having the least-slightly large post count in this thread.


And I have the second-least-largely slight.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> You have the honor of having the least-slightly large post count in this thread.


Okay. That sounds good.


----------



## Dim7

Post unfunny variations of Stupid Thread Ideas. For example take this:



hpowders said:


> Classical Music Confessional:
> 
> Post No. 1: The music of Richard Strauss only sounds palatable to me when I am wearing my Levi Strauss Jeans.
> Is this an example of the synergistic effect?


Turn it into:

Classical Music Confessional:

Post No. 1: The music of Richard Strauss only sounds palatable to me when the performance is extraordinarily good and sound quality of the recording very high.
Is this an example of importance of sound quality and differences in performances on one's listening experience?


----------



## millionrainbows

After Reger went blind (from syphillis), he left Germany, changed his name, and began playing the guitar and singing in the American south.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> I just need a mediocre collection-not really into it-any mediocre posters here on TC can help me with that?


Mediocrity is such a fertile area to explore. Would you like mediocre composers, or mediocre performances, or mediocre works by otherwise good composers, or mediocre recording quality?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> In Classical music discussion, click the number of replies in Stupid Thread Ideas and you get this: http://www.talkclassical.com/misc.php?do=whoposted&t=33122


There's a problem either with my device or the forum software: whatever I click on for listings anywhere on the whole forum, "hpowders" is the top listed result. It's clearly "stuck" there. (I've cleared my cache but that hasn't helped).


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Imagine the following situation:
> 
> You are on a desert island with Beethoven. Suddenly Beethoven turns into a fish for no reason, and you eat him in order to stay alive. But eating the Beethoven-fish suddenly teleports you into Germany in the year 1930 where Schoenberg tells you about his plan to destroy mankind with atonal music. You kill Schoenberg with silken tofu, but then a random teletubbie decides to blow up Earth with a cute little song - after which space ballerinas reconstruct Earth in two seconds.
> 
> However, you are then informed by your pet accordion that you have been sentenced to death for _not_ breaking the ToS of TalkClassical and having post count that is too close to the average post count of reasonably active members. Before you are executed with a lollipop, you are allowed to have your last meal. The food (credit cards) is not your choice, but you can choose to eat either from a yellow or a red plate.
> 
> Which color of the plate for your last meal would be preferable in this case, and what is the best fret on a guitar? Debate, discuss.


This is so illogical I can't stand it! Why would Beethoven turn into a fish _for no reason_? The whole scenario falls apart because of this plot hole. If he had turned into a fish for a good reason like "because rabbits are monkeys" that would have been different though.


----------



## millionrainbows

You've heard of Jeffrey Stolet's *Concerto for Cow, Chainsaw, and Orchestra? *Now, get ready for his follow-up!


----------



## Marschallin Blair

millionrainbows said:


> Mediocrity is such a fertile area to explore. Would you like mediocre composers, or mediocre performances, or mediocre works by otherwise good composers, or mediocre recording quality?


I don't think anyone's interested in mediocrity- whether they admit it or not. When it comes to music, people are more 'elitist' than anything else.

Everyone argues over who is the 'best' composer or who is the 'best' singer or what is the 'best' performance.

Elitism properly construed has nothing to due with snobbery, class, or wealth but rather seeking out the 'best' in everything.

It should be championed, and proudly so.


----------



## Guest

Schoenberg: silken tofu or destroying angel?

Explain your choice.


----------



## Kivimees

If philosophers can play,






so can composers.

Which country's composers can field the best football team? Germany? Italy? England?

Can Debussy do the job for France as striker? Should the USA rely on Copland on goal?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

I'm so frustrated with these so-called 'modernists', they may as well be living in a museum, with their talk about "modern" composers and "still living" composers. Ugh, give me a break.

Name your favorite composers who are yet to be born or who have been conceived within the past 4 weeks. I'll start off by listing a couple of my favorites, I'll limit myself to four, because otherwise I'd fill a couple of pages alone.

Larry Smith (2134 - )
John Robinson (2016 - )
Michael Johnson (2078 - )
Luigi von Frere-Jacques (2055 - )

Hey 'Modernists', you may wanna go see if they have any space for rent at the Louvre. Get with the times, you dinosaurs.


----------



## Dim7

DiesIraeVIX said:


> I'm so frustrated with these so-called 'modernists', they may as well be living in a museum, with their talk about "modern" composers and "still living" composers. Ugh, give me a break.
> 
> Name your favorite composers who are yet to be born or who have been conceived within the past 4 weeks. I'll start off by listing a couple of my favorites, I'll limit myself to four, because otherwise I'd fill a couple of pages alone.
> 
> Larry Smith (2134 - )
> John Robinson (2016 - )
> Michael Johnson (2078 - )
> Luigi von Frere-Jacques (2055 - )
> 
> Hey 'Modernists', you may wanna go see if they have any space for rent at the Louvre. Get with the times, you dinosaurs.


"Contrary to general belief, an artist is never ahead of his time but most people are far behind theirs." -Edgard Varèse

I guess he's saying that most people time travel into the past rather than into the future.


----------



## Celloman

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Larry Smith (2134 - )
> John Robinson (2016 - )
> Michael Johnson (2078 - )
> Luigi von Frere-Jacques (2055 - )


Hey, you forgot Barada Nikto (3742 - infinity). He's the first fully-functioning "borg" composer and will write the first music that is perfectly tuned to the harmony of the universe. Too bad I won't be alive to hear him, but it will be awesome!


----------



## Dim7

*Pieces you can't listen to without tears coming to your eyes.*

You know, I really like Debussy's L'isle joyeuse but I hadn't listened to it for a while so I tried to... but when I did I got the message "error: file corrupted." I tried listening it from youtube but adobe flash player would always crash. I even tried attending a live performance but it was mysteriously cancelled. I did everything I could to hear the piece again but there was always some kind of obstacle. The piece has huge sentimental value for me and I started crying out of desperation, thinking destiny had prevented me from hearing it ever again. I tried for the last time to listen to it from my iPod... and it finally worked! Until I stopped crying - then my iPod freezed.

I found that onions did the same trick and the tears didn't have to be emotional - any tears would do but without them there was always something preventing me from hearing L'isle Joyeuse. Anyone here with similar experiences? What pieces you simply cannot listen to without tears coming out of your eyes?


----------



## Guest

Current Listening Vol nulla


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> You know, I really like Debussy's L'isle joyeuse but I hadn't listened to it for a while so I tried to... but when I did I got the message "error: file corrupted." I tried listening it from youtube but adobe flash player would always crash. I even tried attending a live performance but it was mysteriously cancelled. I did everything I could to hear the piece again but there was always some kind of obstacle. The piece has huge sentimental value for me and I started crying out of desperation, thinking destiny had prevented me from hearing it ever again. I tried for the last time listening it from my iPod... and it finally worked! Until I stopped crying - then my iPod freezed.
> 
> I found that onions did the same trick and the tears didn't have to be emotional - any tears would do but without them there was always something preventing me from hearing L'isle Joyeuse. Anyone here with similar experiences? What pieces you simply cannot listen to without tears coming out of your eyes?


_All_ music - I have an unusual CD player that needs fresh tears to make the electronics work.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> I'm so frustrated with these so-called 'modernists', they may as well be living in a museum, with their talk about "modern" composers and "still living" composers. Ugh, give me a break.
> 
> Name your favorite composers who are yet to be born or who have been conceived within the past 4 weeks. I'll start off by listing a couple of my favorites, I'll limit myself to four, because otherwise I'd fill a couple of pages alone.
> 
> Larry Smith (2134 - )
> John Robinson (2016 - )
> Michael Johnson (2078 - )
> Luigi von Frere-Jacques (2055 - )
> 
> Hey 'Modernists', you may wanna go see if they have any space for rent at the Louvre. Get with the times, you dinosaurs.


A fellow Larry Smith fan! He will be my great-great-grandchildren's favourite composer.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Electronic "Music Appreciation Topic"*

appreciate(music);

ERROR: 'music' is not defined


----------



## DiesIraeCX

MoonlightSonata said:


> A fellow Larry Smith fan! He will be my great-great-grandchildren's favourite composer.


Yeah, mine, too. Small world!

I can see it now. The year is 2150, millionrainbows has found the secret to immortality by genetically fusing his DNA to the tonal structure and hierarchy, he has overthrown Frederik Magle and is now the 'Supreme Chief Administrator/Super Duper Moderator' of TalkClassical.com (which is now accessible by thought alone. Computers are long obsolete.). 'Current Listening' has reached 'Vol CCCXXXII', a member with the username, "SchoenbergSucks1874", posts that he's listening to Larry Smith's Triple Concerto for Thought-Processor, Wave Modulator, and Time-Machine. It receives 21 'likes' from the Avant-garde faction. The other faction, the old geezers who still listen to George Friedrich Haas, Stockhausen, and Ligeti, they hold up their noses in disgust at such "music", a "random collection of sounds, waves, and time manipulation, sure, but not really music", they say.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Yeah, mine, too. Small world!
> 
> I can see it now. The year is 2150, ArtMusic has found the secret to immortality, he has overthrown Frederik Magle and is now the 'Supreme Chief Administrator/Super Duper Moderator' of TalkClassical.com (which is now accessible by thought alone. Computers are long obsolete.). 'Current Listening' has reached 'Vol CCCXXXII', a member with the username, "SchoenbergSucks1874", posts that he listening Larry Smith's Triple Concerto for Thought-Machine, Wave Modulator, and Time-Machine. It receives 21 'likes' from the Avant-garde faction. The other faction, the old geezers who still listen to George Friedrich Haas, Stockhausen, and Ligeti, they hold up their noses in disgust at such "music", a "random collection of sounds, waves, and time manipulation, sure, but not really music", they say.


Stupid Thread Ideas is renamed the "MoonlightSonata Memorial Thread" and made a sticky in every forum...


----------



## hpowders

If Schönberg's music was so great, how come Mozart didn't write like that too?
Imitation is the greatest sort of flattery!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> If Schönberg's music was so great, how come Mozart didn't write like that too?
> Imitation is the greatest sort of flattery!


Mozart was too radical - he felt that Schoenberg was the relic of a bygone age.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Mozart was too radical - he felt that Schoenberg was the relic of a bygone age.


This will be a "Sticky"? It really should be. It's the best thread we have.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

MoonlightSonata said:


> Mozart was too radical - he felt that Schoenberg was the relic of a bygone age.


That stands to reason as Schoenberg was a self-described musical conservative.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> This will be a "Sticky"? It really should be. It's the best thread we have.


Without a doubt.

Did you mean to quote that post?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Without a doubt.
> 
> Did you mean to quote that post?


I made a mistake. Wrong quote. Too much Rum Cake. My reward after a night of wonderful Schönberg!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I made a mistake. Wrong quote. Too much Rum Cake. My reward after a night of wonderful Schönberg!


Do I get cake if I listen to Schoenberg?


----------



## Celloman

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Yeah, mine, too. Small world!
> 
> I can see it now. The year is 2150, millionrainbows has found the secret to immortality by genetically fusing his DNA to the tonal structure and hierarchy, he has overthrown Frederik Magle and is now the 'Supreme Chief Administrator/Super Duper Moderator' of TalkClassical.com (which is now accessible by thought alone. Computers are long obsolete.). 'Current Listening' has reached 'Vol CCCXXXII', a member with the username, "SchoenbergSucks1874", posts that he's listening to Larry Smith's Triple Concerto for Thought-Processor, Wave Modulator, and Time-Machine. It receives 21 'likes' from the Avant-garde faction. The other faction, the old geezers who still listen to George Friedrich Haas, Stockhausen, and Ligeti, they hold up their noses in disgust at such "music", a "random collection of sounds, waves, and time manipulation, sure, but not really music", they say.


I laughed so hard that I am literally crying.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Samuel L Jackson narrates Peter And The ****** Wolf"


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Do I get cake if I listen to Schoenberg?


Some folks would say very sour Lemon Merengue. Not me, of course! :tiphat:


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Some folks would say very sour Lemon Merengue. Not me, of course! :tiphat:











Or, if you don't like dancing, a Lemon Meringue!

:tiphat:


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Do You Like To Eat Food?

What did Schoenberg have in his pockets when he invented the 12-tone method? (Music Theory)


----------



## Guest

2 Tone and 12-tone.

Compare and contrast.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> 2 Tone and 12-tone.
> 
> Compare and contrast.


I stick to the monotonic scale. Unison and octave are the only consonant intervals, pure and simple.


----------



## hpowders

Being a naturally lazy person, would the cello be the right instrument for me to study?

Post No. 1: I like the sitting down part.


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> View attachment 67882
> 
> 
> Or, if you don't like dancing, a Lemon Meringue!
> 
> :tiphat:


Ahhh! A new Twist on the subject.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Bingen or Stockhausen - who do you prefer?


----------



## Barelytenor

Why Yodeling and Schoenberg are Incompatible

Favorite Red Army Chorus arrangements by Debussy


----------



## Dim7

if u dont like this post your gay


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> if u dont like this post your gay


Does that mean that only heterosexuals are allowed to like your posts?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Does that mean that only heterosexuals are allowed to like your posts?


If not A then B does not mean that If A then not B.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> If not A then B does not mean that If A then not B.


Just making sure.

Wait, hang on - are you applying logic to STI?!


----------



## Mahlerian

MoonlightSonata said:


> Just making sure.
> 
> Wait, hang on - are you applying logic to STI?!


Wait, hang on - are you suggesting that logic is applicable to other parts of the internet?!??!?


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> Wait, hang on - are you suggesting that logic is applicable to other parts of the internet?!??!?


Wait, hang on - are you suggesting that logic is applicable to other parts of life??? I see square circles and logical impossibilites all the time IRL!!


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Mahlerian said:


> Wait, hang on - are you suggesting that logic is applicable to other parts of the internet?!??!?


Is there any other 'path to logical' thinking?


----------



## Guest

Which operas would best suit Tuvan throat singing?


----------



## hpowders

Can anyone recommend me a good duo piano version of Mahler's Resurrection Symphony?


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> Can anyone recommend me a good duo piano version of Mahler's Resurrection Symphony?


No, better yet…a toy piano/kazoo version of _Tristan und Isolde_. Wagner actually meant for it to be performed that way. Unfortunately, neither instrument was available so he had no choice but to use a full orchestra instead. They're doing the first authentic version of the work at Bayreuth next year. I've already bought tickets and am super excited!


----------



## Balthazar

Which composers do you think zombies would like most?

Catching up on The Walking Dead and just got to thinking...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 528 ukulele sonatas

Top 100 well-known operas by Croatian composers

Top 10 Beethoven symphonies

Top 50 Beethoven piano sonatas

Top 100 composers with the name "Hildegard"


----------



## Becca

Dim7 said:


> Wait, hang on - are you suggesting that logic is applicable to other parts of life??? I see square circles and logical impossibilites all the time IRL!!


_
"Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."_

An excellent training for an opera fan


----------



## Guest

Celloman said:


> No, better yet…a toy piano/kazoo version of _Tristan und Isolde_. Wagner actually meant for it to be performed that way. Unfortunately, neither instrument was available so he had no choice but to use a full orchestra instead. They're doing the first authentic version of the work at Bayreuth next year. I've already bought tickets and am super excited!


I'm more excited for The Ring Cycle for solo triangle.


----------



## Balthazar

nathanb said:


> I'm more excited for The Ring Cycle for solo triangle.


The one where the entire cast are mimes? I've already pre-ordered it on Amazon -- should be the best production ever!


----------



## Celloman

nathanb said:


> I'm more excited for The Ring Cycle for solo triangle.


So _that's_ why it's called the "Ring" Cycle...I always wondered.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> So _that's_ why it's called the "Ring" Cycle...I always wondered.


No, it's because Wagner kept getting interrupted by phone calls while he was writing it.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> I can see it now. The year is 2150, *millionrainbows has found the secret to immortality by genetically fusing his DNA to the tonal structure and hierarchy, he has overthrown Frederik Magle and is now the 'Supreme Chief Administrator/Super Duper Moderator' of TalkClassical.com (which is now accessible by thought alone. Computers are long obsolete.).*










Observe what happens when I have too much time on my hands.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> if u dont like this post your gay


Continue your sentence! If I don't like your post my gay will...?


----------



## SimonNZ

Musique Chaussures-Concrète


----------



## Guest

Narcissists and Internet Forums

3. Discuss how fabulous I think I am.


----------



## hpowders

I can't see how Bruckner and Mahler were different in composing styles.

Post No. 1: Discuss. Debate. Please use appropriate musical scores to make your points and above all, no rancor!!


----------



## hpowders

When will Ob-Naxos be releasing the Tristan und Isolde with Heifetz?

Post No. 1: und how much will it cost?


----------



## Becca

hpowders said:


> Can anyone recommend me a good duo piano version of Mahler's Resurrection Symphony?


I am sorry to ruin you STI post  but...

_In 1905 [Klemperer] met Gustav Mahler while conducting the off-stage brass at a performance of Mahler's Symphony No. 2, Resurrection. *He also made a piano reduction of the second symphony.* The two men became friends, and Klemperer became conductor at the German Opera in Prague in 1907 on Mahler's recommendation._


----------



## millionrainbows

Marschallin Blair said:


> I don't think anyone's interested in mediocrity- whether they admit it or not. When it comes to music, people are more 'elitist' than anything else.
> 
> Everyone argues over who is the 'best' composer or who is the 'best' singer or what is the 'best' performance.
> 
> Elitism properly construed has nothing to due with snobbery, class, or wealth but rather seeking out the 'best' in everything.
> 
> It should be championed, and proudly so.




I'm glad that you recognize the inherent stupidity of 'exploring the mediocre.'


----------



## millionrainbows

DiesIraeVIX said:


> I'm so frustrated with these so-called 'modernists', they may as well be living in a museum, with their talk about "modern" composers and "still living" composers. Ugh, give me a break.
> 
> Name your favorite composers who are yet to be born or who have been conceived within the past 4 weeks. I'll start off by listing a couple of my favorites, I'll limit myself to four, because otherwise I'd fill a couple of pages alone.
> 
> Larry Smith (2134 - )
> John Robinson (2016 - )
> Michael Johnson (2078 - )
> Luigi von Frere-Jacques (2055 - )
> 
> Hey 'Modernists', you may wanna go see if they have any space for rent at the Louvre. Get with the times, you dinosaurs.


Unfortunately, Jonathan Stockhausen (b. 2020), grandson of Karlheinz, was tragically aborted. He showed a lot of promise.


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> A fellow Larry Smith fan! He will be my great-great-grandchildren's favourite composer.


Yes, I'm a fan of Larry Smith (b. 1234-) also. I can't wait to hear his 'Star Trek' opera.


----------



## millionrainbows

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Yeah, mine, too. Small world!
> 
> I can see it now. The year is 2150, millionrainbows has found the secret to immortality by genetically fusing his DNA to the tonal structure and hierarchy, he has overthrown Frederik Magle and is now the 'Supreme Chief Administrator/Super Duper Moderator' of TalkClassical.com (which is now accessible by thought alone. Computers are long obsolete.). 'Current Listening' has reached 'Vol CCCXXXII', a member with the username, "SchoenbergSucks1874", posts that he's listening to Larry Smith's Triple Concerto for Thought-Processor, Wave Modulator, and Time-Machine. It receives 21 'likes' from the Avant-garde faction. The other faction, the old geezers who still listen to George Friedrich Haas, Stockhausen, and Ligeti, they hold up their noses in disgust at such "music", a "random collection of sounds, waves, and time manipulation, sure, but not really music", they say.


Haa haa! That's great...:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Do You Like To Eat Food?
> 
> What did Schoenberg have in his pockets when he invented the 12-tone method? (Music Theory)


Answer: 12 frogs, and they are all glad to see you!


----------



## millionrainbows

Barelytenor said:


> Why Yodeling and Schoenberg are Incompatible


Just published: *Atonal Yodeling, *by Matthias Rundberg, which discusses 'wide interval leaping' yodeling, and 'sprechstimme yodeling'.



Barelytenor said:


> Favorite Red Army Chorus arrangements by Debussy


L'isle miserables

Golliwog's Death March

Prélude à l'après-midi d'un nuclear reactor exposante


----------



## millionrainbows

Easy Orchestral Reductions: Just keep the orchestral piece on high heat, then add a little red wine to deglaze. Keep going, and you will have your reduction.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

millionrainbows said:


> I'm glad that you recognize the inherent stupidity of 'exploring the mediocre.'


I'm doubly glad I have your sanction.


----------



## Celloman

millionrainbows said:


> Easy Orchestral Reductions: Just keep the orchestral piece on high heat, then add a little red wine to deglaze. Keep going, and you will have your reduction.


I'm having a little trouble here. My complete orchestral score of _Tristan und Isolde_ isn't reducing. What do I do if the pages catch fire? The ink is melting in the heat...is this normal?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Pieces you can't listen to without perspiration coming to your pores?

If you can't think of one, don't sweat it.


----------



## Guest

Pieces you can't listen to without a serious challenge to your ability to stay in control of your sphincters.


----------



## Dim7

This thread is about coming up wth stupid thread ideas for humorous purposes. And that is exactly what you are doing now. The moderation team has no complaints.

Please continue as usual. The thread will not be closed. No posts have been removed.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The "Write in Red Text to Make People Think you're a Mod" thread.


----------



## Guest

NOTICE​
Please remember that although some members are fans of Andre Rieu they are still entitled to the same respect as if they were normal. Some posts have been deleted.


----------



## Guest

NOTICE​
Some people like operetta. Get over it.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The "Write in Blue Text and Confuse People" thread.


----------



## Guest

This poster has been deleted.


----------



## Dim7

The Black Hole Thread: Post here to have your post immediately deleted by the mods


----------



## Guest

The Large Hadron Collider Debating Thread.

Nominate your best argument to be fired, at near to the speed of light, in a vacuum, at almost absolute zero directly into the path of an opponent of your choice's argument.

The winning argument is the one that emits the Higgs boson.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

This thread has been re-opened for its political and religious diversions. Please stay off-topic and keep offending each other. Some posts have been added.

Anti-moderators are cool


----------



## SeptimalTritone

dogen said:


> The Large Hadron Collider Debating Thread.
> 
> Nominate your best argument to be fired, at near to the speed of light, in a vacuum, at almost absolute zero directly into the path of an opponent of your choice's argument.
> 
> The winning argument is the one that emits the Higgs boson.


Just for the record, it isn't the particles that are at low temperature, but the superconducting (niobium metal?) magnets that are used to accelerate and steer the particles. The superconductors have to be at low temperature... probably a few Kelvins, but not likely needing to be super duper cold (like fractions of a Kelvin). In case you're wondering about physics.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Richannes Wrahms said:


> This thread has been re-opened for its political and religious diversions. Please stay off-topic and keep offending each other. Some posts have been added.
> 
> Anti-moderators are cool


We do, however, politely ask members to use more ad-hominem arguments.


----------



## Adam Weber

_Destroying the Classics with Humor _

Suggestions:

Pachelbel's Howitzer Canon in D major -- Replace all the cellos with cannons

Elgar's Answer Theme -- Like the Enigma Variations, but not any good. Bernstein's recording is much too fast, as everyone knows.

Mahler's 10th Symphony as completed by cooks named Deryck -- pots, pans, spoons and knives all add to the unique flavor of the orchestration.

Richard Strauss's Valley Symphony -- Premiered by the LA Philharmonic, of course.

John Adam's Long Ride in a Slow Minivan -- in the key of Shouting Parents

Gershwin's An American Tourist Lost in Paris

So on, so on...

:devil:


----------



## Steve Kirby

millionrainbows said:


> See what ridiculous thread ideas you can come up with! Here are some...
> 
> "Wagner: Did He Kill Natalie Wood?"
> 
> "Why Doesn't My Grandmother like John Cage's Music?"
> 
> "Beethoven, Anger Management, and the Ethics of Stalking"
> 
> "Schoenberg's 12-Tone Method Didn't really Exist, It Was All Tonal"
> 
> "Were George and Ira Gershwin Anti-Semites?"
> 
> "Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Morton Feldman's Music"
> 
> "Webern at Beyreuth"


"Were Beethoven's Last Words 'Eh? What Did You Say?' "

Very very silly. Sorry!


----------



## Dim7

The thread in which Andre Rieu and his fans are treated with the same respect as everyone else


----------



## Dim7

Repetition Game: Each poster in this thread copypastes the first post and re-posts it over and over again

Repetition Game: Each poster in this thread copypastes the first post and re-posts it over and over again


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Repetition Game: Each poster in this thread copypastes the first post and re-posts it over and over again
> 
> Repetition Game: Each poster in this thread copypastes the first post and re-posts it over and over again


Sounds a bit like my post 3651, but I hid it in dark matter.


----------



## Celloman

The Thread Where You Post Every Word in a Different Color so People Will Think You're Cool


----------



## Guest

Celloman said:


> The Thread Where You Post Every Word in a Different Color so People Will Think You're Cool


Only Every Word? Rookie Stuff......


----------



## Guest

Reminds me of the Tchaikovsky thread...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The "signify composers' nationality with their flag colours" thread.
e.g. Elgar, Debussy, Bach.


----------



## Guest

As a colour blind person, I am being discriminated against.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> As a colour blind person, I am being discriminated against.


Well, then I could use fonts instead.
Donizetti


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Well, then I could use fonts instead.
> Donizetti


That's better, thanks. Now don't offend my aesthetic sensibilities.


----------



## Mahlerian

dogen said:


> That's better, thanks. Now don't offend my aesthetic sensibilities.


I can't imagine how anyone could do that. I think that people are willing to pay more attention to what is said than the way it is written; they are definitely willing to overlook presentation and consider content alone.


----------



## Dim7

poleted dest.......


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Mahlerian said:


> I can't imagine how anyone could do that. I think that people are willing to pay more attention to what is said than the way it is written; they are definitely willing to overlook presentation and consider content alone.


ARGH!
The Comic Sans is burning my eyes!


----------



## Celloman

Mahlerian said:


> I can't imagine how anyone could do that. I think that people are willing to pay more attention to what is said than the way it is written; they are definitely willing to overlook presentation and consider content alone.


I'm challenging that statement!


----------



## Guest

Mahlerian said:


> I can't imagine how anyone could do that. I think that people are willing to pay more attention to what is said than the way it is written; they are definitely willing to overlook presentation and consider content alone.


is that WHAT you really think?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

_Perhaps if I make this text really pretty, people will be so overwhelmed that they don't realise I'm saying Schoenberg is useless noise tonality is supreme lol Debussy was the last great composer avant-garde is hideousness._


----------



## Frei aber froh

Dim7 said:


> if u dont like this post your gay


I really don't like that post, so I'm SUPER GAY!


----------



## Dim7

Hermioneviolageek said:


> I really don't like that post, so I'm SUPER GAY!


Is that like the gay version of superman?


----------



## Dim7

Fleeing from Italian Composers
_"They keep stalking me, how can I make them leave me alone?"_


----------



## Guest

Works that you hate by composers that, for whatever reason, you hate, from a country that you hate.


----------



## Guest

More hate (Vol II)


----------



## Guest

Extended hate, with extra hate on top.


----------



## Guest

Mostly hatred, but with a bit of boring as well.


----------



## Celloman

Name the 10 composers you would be most likely to smooch if you saw them in person.


----------



## hpowders

Looking for Canaan's best composers.


----------



## ptr

Songs that reminds You of hpowders posting habits!

The really sour edition:





/ptr


----------



## Dim7

WORKS YOU like BY COMPOSERS YOU DON'T like

Works you like *BY* composers you don't like


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The Top 10 Composers from Atlantis


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed Identifying!

Post No. 1: Male, 6 feet tall, 175 lbs, brown eyes, wavy black hair, answers to the name Johnnie. Owes alimony.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Help Needed Identifying!
> 
> Post No. 1: Male, 6 feet tall, 175 lbs, brown eyes, wavy black hair, answers to the name Johnnie. Owes alimony.


I have an extremely tall dog here fitting that description. Care to explain how he owes alimony?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I have an extremely tall dog here fitting that description. Care to explain how he owes alimony?


It's complicated.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> It's complicated.


I thought it might be.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I thought it might be.


I just don't wish to be hounded about it.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I just don't wish to be hounded about it.


That's alright, I won't be dogmatic.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*List of TC Voting Lists - voting instructions* (30 pages of them)


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 has reached
*
100 days of inactivity at TalkClassical*

>>>>>>>>>>>>









Well done, Dim7, 100 days of inactivity - please keep on and don't return!!


----------



## Guest

Celloman said:


> Name the 10 composers you would be most likely to smooch if you saw them in person.


Brahms, Debussy, Sorabji.....HEY! You got me! You were only joking....


----------



## Dim7

Post Links To The Posts You Post In This Thread (In The Post You Are Linking To)

This post


----------



## Guest

I preferred it when you were inactive.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> That's alright, I won't be dogmatic.


As long as you never call me best in show.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Dim7 has reached
> *
> 100 days of inactivity at TalkClassical*
> 
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well done, Dim7, 100 days of inactivity - please keep on and don't return!!


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

And then follow it up with a "You've been permanently banned from TC" notice!!


----------



## Dim7

http://www.talkclassical.com/15881-talk-yourself-thread.html


----------



## MoonlightSonata

_Congratulations..._
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>_*Trololol42!*_

*50 infraction points! Well done!*


----------



## MoonlightSonata

In these days of inflation, TC really needs to keep up with the times. I therefore propose the following name changes:
_Dim8
ipowders _(or is this some sort of Apple smartphone?)
_PetrC
CuatroPicos
millionandonerainbows
Albert8
KenOD
maestro268
21centrfuge_


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> In these days of inflation, TC really needs to keep up with the times. I therefore propose the following name changes:


_PianoSonataNo.15inDOp.28_ for you, I fear!


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> ipowders [/I](or is this some sort of Apple smartphone?)


I have one of those! It comes with Bluetooth, Facetime, Angry Birds, a Post Count Amplification App, and the complete works of Persichetti!


----------



## Celloman

After we have finished voting for the top post-1950 works, we should vote for the best post-2015 music.

I'll bet that Larry Smith's _Triple Concerto for Thought-Processor, Wave Modulator, and Time Machine_ would get the #1 spot. What do you think? Personally, I'd like to see Pete Simmons' _Electroatomic-Poeme for Star Harmonizer and Fusion Guitar_ placing in the top three, at least. It's more ethereal in my opinion.

But whatever floats your spaceship.


----------



## Guest

Celloman said:


> After we have finished voting for the top post-1950 works, we should vote for the best post-2015 music.
> 
> I'll bet that Larry Smith's _Triple Concerto for Thought-Processor, Wave Modulator, and Time Machine_ would get the #1 spot. What do you think? Personally, I'd like to see Pete Simmons' _Electroatomic-Poeme for Star Harmonizer and Fusion Guitar_ placing in the top three, at least. It's more ethereal in my opinion.
> 
> But whatever floats your spaceship.


Basically anything played on the Neptune Symphony Orchestra's live performance compilation.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> After we have finished voting for the top post-1950 works, we should vote for the best post-2015 music.
> 
> I'll bet that Larry Smith's _Triple Concerto for Thought-Processor, Wave Modulator, and Time Machine_ would get the #1 spot. What do you think? Personally, I'd like to see Pete Simmons' _Electroatomic-Poeme for Star Harmonizer and Fusion Guitar_ placing in the top three, at least. It's more ethereal in my opinion.
> 
> But whatever floats your spaceship.


I'd agree with the Smith Triple Concerto. Second, though, I'd like one of Beethoven's works written after his resurrection in 2242.


----------



## Celloman

MoonlightSonata said:


> I'd agree with the Smith Triple Concerto. Second, though, I'd like one of Beethoven's works written after his resurrection in 2242.


His 10th Symphony (2242) is ok...admittedly, he was a bit out of practice. No, I personally prefer his 14th (2259). The way he weaves those time-fractals in the third movement, transcribing the "Fate" theme from the 5th into a space-time anomaly is simply brilliant!

The 15th is just stupid. Fusion guitar and pipe organ don't mesh.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> His 10th Symphony (2242) is ok...admittedly, he was a bit out of practice. No, I personally prefer his 14th (2259). The way he weaves those time-fractals in the third movement, transcribing the "Fate" theme from the 5th into a space-time anomaly is simply brilliant!
> 
> The 15th is just stupid. Fusion guitar and pipe organ don't mesh.


I think the 14th and 16th (2271) are about equal. While the fourth is fractionally better musically, the 16th was revolutionary in being the first symphony to use antimatter.


----------



## Guest

Celloman said:


> His 10th Symphony (2242) is ok...admittedly, he was a bit out of practice. No, I personally prefer his 14th (2259). The way he weaves those time-fractals in the third movement, transcribing the "Fate" theme from the 5th into a space-time anomaly is simply brilliant!
> 
> The 15th is just stupid. Fusion guitar and pipe organ don't mesh.


Not to mention that solo violin section he added. There's a fine line between "Quaint" and "Ok, really now? a violin? We burned all those for fuel in 2059!" But the movement solely for amplified photons was pretty impressive, truth be told.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

nathanb said:


> Not to mention that solo violin section he added. There's a fine line between "Quaint" and "Ok, really now? a violin? We burned all those for fuel in 2059!" But the movement solely for amplified photons was pretty impressive, truth be told.


I agree that the solo violin section was unnecessarily nostalgic, but if you don't like the work perhaps try the Beecham recording with Bach playing the organ? It's really good.


----------



## Dim7

Mediocre performances with mediocre sound quality of mediocre moments in mediocre movements of mediocre works by composers you find mediocre in a style/era/genre that you find tolerable but not great (But nothing excessively mediocre, just moderately mediocre)

Poll: Can Classical Music Have Effects On Society/Community That Are Neither Good Nor Bad?

Poll: Do You Feel Indifferent About [Random Vivaldi Concerto Without Opus Number]? (If You Don't, Please Do Not Clarify Whether You Like Or Dislike It)


----------



## hpowders

Our Patient Poster Contest:

Post no. 1: Yes! It's time once again for our Patient Poster Contest. Whoever posts three times at intervals of exactly 21,600 seconds each wins a free TC premium membership and all benefits subject herewith.


----------



## Balthazar

*Your favorite piano concerto by a composer who later became prime minister.
*
I'll start: Paderewski's Piano Concerto in A minor

(no repeats, please)


----------



## Dim7

Your favorite composer by a prime minister who later became piano concerto


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite posters whose initials are hp.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> In these days of inflation, TC really needs to keep up with the times. I therefore propose the following name changes:
> _Dim8
> *ipowders *_(or is this some sort of Apple smartphone?)
> _PetrC
> CuatroPicos
> millionandonerainbows
> Albert8
> KenOD
> maestro268
> 21centrfuge_


I, Powders approve of this post.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Your favorite posters whose initials are hp.


Help me out, I can't think of any.


----------



## Guest

*H*ubert *P*arry (Sir Charles Hubert Hastings Parry, 1st Baronet, 27 February 1848 - 7 October 1918) the English composer, teacher and historian of music who just _never stops posting_ on this forum?


----------



## Guest

TalkingHead said:


> *H*ubert *P*arry (Sir Charles Hubert Hastings Parry, 1st Baronet, 27 February 1848 - 7 October 1918) the English composer, teacher and historian of music who just _never stops posting_ on this forum?


Ah. I've got him on Ignore.


----------



## Guest

Hah! Nearly wet my knickers reading that, Dogen. Bravo!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Your favorite posters whose initials are hp.


Your favourite poster whose username has an unfortunate acronym.


----------



## Mahlerian

MoonlightSonata said:


> Your favourite poster whose username has an unfortunate acronym.


Mine would be Violadude.


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> Mine would be Violadude.


How appropriate that this is posted in STI....


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Should we limit the number of commas per day that one user is allowed to write?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

MoonlightSonata said:


> Should we limit the number of commas per day that one user is allowed to write?


I, should, hope, not! That, would, be, an, infringement, on, my, Frederick, Magle, given, rights!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> I, should, hope, not! That, would, be, an, infringement, on, my, Frederick, Magle, given, rights!


That's your comma quota all used up! No more commas for 24 hours!


----------



## SimonNZ

Handel's motivation for charity work: embezzling or money laundering?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TC Top 100+ Works Not To Play In A Retirement Home
TC Top 100+ Works Ending With A Plagal Cadence, Involving Horns, Written In The 19th Century And Not In F Major


----------



## Celloman

|
|
\/
The "Discuss _4'33"_ Using Only Invisible Ink" Thread
/\
|
|


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> |
> |
> \/
> The "Discuss _4'33"_ Using Only Invisible Ink" Thread
> /\
> |
> |


|
|
\/

/\
|
|
The "Haha, tricked you" thread


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> That's your comma quota all used up! No more commas for 24 hours!


That's a rather sarcastic comma-tary on the current state of TC!!


----------



## Celloman

|
|
\/

/\
|
|

Did it take you 4'33" to find this?


----------



## hpowders

Popular Music Section:

Anyone know where I can hire a couple of good chalumeau players for a party featuring popular hit songs from the early 1700's?


----------



## CBD

MoonlightSonata said:


> TC Top 100+ Works Not To Play In A Retirement Home


This better be on that list:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> That's a rather sarcastic comma-tary on the current state of TC!!


I period-ically feel the need to do so. It seems rather dash-ing.


----------



## hpowders

*Urgent Help Needed!!!*

Post No. 1: My rich grand-dad has been lingering for years now and he promised me a lot of money in his will.
Will playing classical music at his bed side hasten his demise? If so, which pieces would do so, quickly?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> |
> |
> \/
> 
> /\
> |
> |
> 
> Did it take you 4'33" to find this?


 | |
| |
\  /

/ \
| |
| |


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I period-ically feel the need to do so. It seems rather dash-ing.


You write like you may be _Italic_-ian.


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> *Urgent Help Needed!!!*
> 
> Post No. 1: My rich grand-dad has been lingering for years now and he promised me a lot of money in his will.
> Will playing classical music at his bed side hasten his demise? If so, which pieces would do so, quickly?


Penderecki's _Threnody_ should do the trick. Turn it onto maximum volume just to be on the safe side.


----------



## CBD

hpowders said:


> *Urgent Help Needed!!!*
> 
> Post No. 1: My rich grand-dad has been lingering for years now and he promised me a lot of money in his will.
> Will playing classical music at his bed side hasten his demise? If so, which pieces would do so, quickly?


See two posts above yours.


----------



## hpowders

I am a math major and I figure that if I can only post once every 21,600 seconds it would take me 17.37 years to achieve what hpowders has done here in a very short time.

Post No. 1: I have the formula all worked out if you want to see how I achieved that result.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> You write like you may be _Italic_-ian.


Unless we _stop_ with the puns we'll end up making a _hash_ of this poor thread.


----------



## hpowders

CBD said:


> See two posts above yours.


Thank you. I will bring that link over to the Deadly Breezes Nursing Home where he resides.


----------



## Celloman

MoonlightSonata said:


> | |
> | |
> \ /
> 
> / \
> | |
> | |


Ok, thanks for clarifying that.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Unless we _stop_ with the puns we'll end up making a _hash_ of this poor thread.


I just go with the flow, wherever it takes me, hopefully not to the intersection of Suspended and Banned.


----------



## hpowders

Would Mozart have used a Steinway Piano if they had an installment plan back in the day?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I just go with the flow, wherever it takes me, hopefully not to the intersection of Suspended and Banned.


We must stop putting _colon_ the fire of puns!

(yes, yes, terrible metaphor, I know)


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> We must stop putting _colon_ the fire of puns!
> 
> (yes, yes, terrible metaphor, I know)


If they close this thread down and _sentence_ me to another thread, I don't know what I would do.
It would signify the beginning of a very depressing _period_ for me.

Please! Please!! Not the poll question threads!!!!


----------



## Balthazar

hpowders said:


> *Urgent Help Needed!!!*
> 
> Post No. 1: My rich grand-dad has been lingering for years now and he promised me a lot of money in his will.
> Will playing classical music at his bed side hasten his demise? If so, which pieces would do so, quickly?


Does anyone know the music Schaunard plays to the parrot in La Boheme? If you could send a pdf of the sheet music to hpowders by pm that would be great!

(Mods, feel free to move this to the Identifying Music forum if that's more appropriate.)


----------



## hpowders

Balthazar said:


> Does anyone know the music Schaunard plays to the parrot in La Boheme? If you could send a pdf of the sheet music to hpowders by pm that would be great!
> 
> (Mods, feel free to move this to the Identifying Music forum if that's more appropriate.)


I have several recordings of that. Tell Tippy the parrot, thanks for the tip.


----------



## Albert7

Hmm... I am getting rusty on having dumb thoughts tonight.

Idea: Ways for your dad to prevent a human being from napping due to Caruso blasting at 100 decibels on a TV.


----------



## SimonNZ

Albert7 said:


> Hmm... I am getting rusty on having dumb thoughts tonight.
> 
> Idea: Ways for your dad to prevent a human being from napping due to Caruso blasting at 100 decibels on a TV.


I'd finally been enjoying this thread again while you were on your "vacation", Albert.

Must you really get up to your old tricks on your first day back?

You know, because you've been told repeatedly, that this is not yet another thread for "banal heppenings in Albert's world".


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Suggestions for the Improvement of Stupid Thread Ideas*

First of all, STI must be made into a sticky. Secondly, I propose the following changes in format:


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> First of all, STI must be made into a sticky. Secondly, I propose the following changes in format:
> View attachment 68148


I propose that every single STI post here must be accompanied by an original musical composition by the poster who delivered the idea in the first place.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> *Urgent Help Needed!!!*
> 
> Post No. 1: My rich grand-dad has been lingering for years now and he promised me a lot of money in his will.
> Will playing classical music at his bed side hasten his demise? If so, which pieces would do so, quickly?


I have an avant-garde work for this purpose, it's called "Threnody for the victims of this piece"


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: First somebody posts something trivial, then somebody else scolds this poster for posting that. Then the one who scolded posts something trivial himself and somebody else scolds him etc. 

I go first: I just did my laundry while listening to Shosta, but then I sneezed LOL!!!1


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Poll: Your Favorite of my Favorites.

Choose up to all of them.

- Ludwig van Beethoven 
- Ludwig van Bethofen [sic]
- Ludwig van Betthoven [sic]
- Beethoven 
- The old Ludwig van'
- Louis [sic] van Beethoven
- Ludwig von [sic] Beethoven


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Poll: Your Favorite of my Favorites.
> 
> Choose up to all of them.
> 
> - Ludwig van Beethoven
> - Ludwig van Bethofen [sic]
> - Ludwig van Betthoven [sic]
> - Beethoven
> - The old Ludwig van'
> - Louis [sic] van Beethoven
> - Ludwig von [sic] Beethoven


None of them. I prefer L. van Beethoven.


----------



## Dim7

Terrible works that composers should be known and hated for but are obscure for some reason

Creepy pictures to darken your night

Bland pictures to gray your evening


----------



## Dim7

*'Doing' Mozart...*

******** ******** ****** ***** ****** **** **** ** ***** ***** ********* **** ***** **** ****** **** **** ******* **


----------



## Albert7

Using Microsoft Word to do global replacement for composer's names in scholarly papers as a professor.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> ******** ******** ****** ***** ****** **** **** ** ***** ***** ********* **** ***** **** ****** **** **** ******* **


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Using Microsoft Word to do global replacement for composer's names in scholarly papers as a professor.


Is this a thread idea? Is it stupid?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Is this a thread idea? Is it stupid?


Indeed, scholarly pranks like that have resulted before in expulsion, therefore not a very smart idea even as a T.A. or professor.


----------



## SimonNZ

Albert, you know full well that you're derailing this thread, because many people have told you, and many people have asked you to stop.

You can only now be continually doing this because you wish to annoy people and cause disruption.

There's a name for that. It begins with the letter T.

Do feel comfortable knowing you're largely viewed as such? Wouldn't you rather be liked?


----------



## hpowders

Poll Question: We all know excessive posting has been a problem. Which curtails enthusiastic excessive posting most effectively?
Choose only one:

1. Each successive post must be made at 21,600 second intervals.

2. Making Mondays post-less for everybody.


----------



## millionrainbows

I'm just posting in this thread to take a break away from my excessively intelligent thread ideas.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Poll Question: We all know excessive posting has been a problem. Which curtails enthusiastic excessive posting most effectively?
> Choose only one:
> 
> 1. Each successive post must be made at 21,600 second intervals.
> 
> 2. Making Mondays post-less for everybody.


Too bad we couldn't have applied this principle of curtailing excess to Vivaldi and Haydn, or Hovhaness.


----------



## Dim7

Picture from our latest Stupid Thread Ideas Editorial meeting:









A cat who shall not be named is not visible, but that's because he was the dinner of that meeting. I love how diverse the STI team is - it's a wonderful example how chinese characters, paintings, houses, severed heads and hands can work together in harmony despite the differences. Well okay, sometimes the debates get quite fierce, but that's to be expected even among all-human groups.

The picture shows however quite brutally the less than ideal physical condition of Mahlerian, TresPicos and hpowders. You may have thought that their avatars are just normal black & white pictures but as this colored picture clearly shows they actually do look like zombies in real life. I keep telling them that the music they listen is not good for their health but they refuse to follow my advice.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Dim7, I'm just gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume I'm unseen outside the mowing the lawn in that picture! On _top_ of that, I'm gonna assume that you're racist because I'm half Hispanic and you chose me of all people to do the yard work. :lol:


----------



## Dim7

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Dim7, I'm just gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume I'm unseen outside the mowing the lawn in that picture! On _top_ of that, I'm gonna assume that you're racist because I'm half Hispanic and you chose me of all people to do the yard work. :lol:


No worries - you were cooking dogen while the picture was taken. I hope you don't consider that job to be too demeaning. And I assure you that despite all these"Chinese character privilege" accusations one's race/species/characterness/buildingness/whatever has nothing to with division of labor in STI.


----------



## hpowders

If the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra can be successful as a conductor-less orchestra, why can't we posters on TC be unsupervised too?


----------



## hpowders

I want to be a castrato singer to sing Handel but my health insurance won't cover the surgery. What should I do?


----------



## hpowders

If I nickname myself as the "pithy poster", would that enhance my popularity over other nickname-less posters?


----------



## Celloman

*The Greatest Post-1950 Works According to Talk Classical*

001: Berio: A symphony where they read random stuff in the 3rd movement just to be silly. (1968-70)
002: Ligeti: People singing whatever they want at the same time. (1965)
003: Boulez: The sound that a creepy, giant hammer makes when it's possessed. (1955)
004. Messiaen: A bunch of weird birds making a racket in outer space. (1971-74)
005. Rzewski: Some folks havin' a shindig so's they kin keep from gettin' licked! (1975)
006. Ligeti: Some jerk's little kid banging on the piano. (1985-2001) 
007. Reich: 18 asthmatic musicians playing the exact same thing. (1976) 
008. Shostakovich: A long symphony that was written so you can fall asleep at a concert without getting into trouble. (1953)


----------



## hpowders

How can I become a post-modern poster?


----------



## hpowders

I have a list of my 10 favorite posters. Which of those posters are among your favorites too?
Give anecdotal examples of why.


----------



## Ingélou

Seven ways in which you can deliberately misunderstand a moderator's post.


----------



## hpowders

Your Ten Favorite Armenian Posters.


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> I have a list of my 10 favorite posters. Which of those posters are among your favorites too?
> Give anecdotal examples of why.


I would agree with one of your choices.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite posts from posters you loathe with a passion.

Post No. 1: Mine is "Post deleted" but I can't say from whom.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Your Ten Favorite Armenian Posters.


You x 10 ROFL and that's the truth.:lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Picture from our latest Stupid Thread Ideas Editorial meeting:
> 
> View attachment 68200
> 
> 
> A cat who shall not be named is not visible, but that's because he was the dinner of that meeting. I love how diverse the STI team is - it's a wonderful example how chinese characters, paintings, houses, severed heads and hands can work together in harmony despite the differences. Well okay, sometimes the debates get quite fierce, but that's to be expected even among all-human groups.
> 
> The picture shows however quite brutally the less than ideal physical condition of Mahlerian, TresPicos and hpowders. You may have thought that their avatars are just normal black & white pictures but as this colored picture clearly shows they actually do look like zombies in real life. I keep telling them that the music they listen is not good for their health but they refuse to follow my advice.


Save me a seat.

Actually I am in much better shape physically than mentally. I suffer from pithanoia.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Favorite posts from posters you loathe with a passion.
> 
> Post No. 1: Mine is "Post deleted" but I can't say from whom.


Are you trying to get me banned for life. But the question is soooo tempting.


----------



## hpowders

Ingélou said:


> Seven ways in which you can deliberately misunderstand a moderator's post.


I usually fall asleep by sentence 111.


----------



## hpowders

Would anyone be interested in buying a boxed set of all my posts?

Post No. 1: I installed three extra phone lines to handle the anticipated load.


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> Would anyone be interested in buying a boxed set of all my posts?


Does it come with liner notes and a libretto? Is that the newly-remastered version?

P.S. Also, make sure the CD cases aren't cracked.


----------



## Albert7

The measurable effect of sleeping pills on music critics and their interpretation of Bruckner.


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> Are you trying to get me banned for life. But the question is soooo tempting.


Well, I did some TC research and this is what I found:

"Hello posters:

Stupid Thread Ideas is designed to be a sanctuary away from the normal forums. Post anything you like. Libel anyone you like. This is your thread. Go for it! Have fun! All we ask is you limit the four letter words to three per post."


----------



## Dim7

*TC regrets*

Now that Talk Classical will be permanently closed in a day or twoooooo, what do you regret most about the time you have used at TC? What you wish you had done more?

Poll: I wish I had...
#1 ...posted more lists about my favorite composers/pieces/etc.
#2 ...read more lists about other people's favorites.
#3 ...posted more favorite/top 10 -threads
#4 ...posted more polls
#5 ...voted in polls more
#6 ...debated more about the definition/existence of atonality/tonality
#7 ...debated more about whether Beethoven is Classical or Romantic, or about similar arbitrary stylistic boundaries 
#8 ...debated more about 4'33'' and whether it is music or not and whether it is bull**** or not
#9 ...debated more about the definition of music
#10 ...debated more about something totally subjective
#11 ...made more 4'33'' / Haydn / Handel / Liszt / Chopin / viola jokes
#12 ...posted more in the "Answer A Question With A Question" -thread
#13 other


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> Does it come with liner notes and a libretto? Is that the newly-remastered version?
> 
> P.S. Also, make sure the CD cases aren't cracked.


I will forward your request to a cheerful customer service agent.


----------



## Vaneyes

Celloman said:


> *The Greatest Post-1950 Works According to Talk Classical*
> 
> 001: *Berio*: A symphony where they read random stuff in the 3rd movement just to be silly. (1968-70)
> 002: *Ligeti*: People singing whatever they want at the same time. (1965)
> 003:* Boulez*: The sound that a creepy, giant hammer makes when it's possessed. (1955)
> 004. Messiaen: A bunch of weird birds making a racket in outer space. (1971-74)
> 005. Rzewski: Some folks havin' a shindig so's they kin keep from gettin' licked! (1975)
> 006. Ligeti: Some jerk's little kid banging on the piano. (1985-2001)
> 007. Reich: 18 asthmatic musicians playing the exact same thing. (1976)
> 008.* Shostakovich*: A long symphony that was written so you can fall asleep at a concert without getting into trouble. (1953)


Some good names in there, but no *Nono* makes it suspect.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Now that Talk Classical will be permanently closed in a day or twoooooo, what do you regret most about the time you have used at TC? What you wish you had done more?
> 
> Poll: I wish I had...
> #1 ...posted more about my favorite composers/pieces/etc.
> #2 ...read more about other people's favorites.
> #3 ...posted more favorite/top 10 -threads
> #4 ...posted more polls
> #5 ...voted in polls more
> #6 ...debated more about the definition/existence of atonality/tonality
> #7 ...debated more about whether Beethoven is Classical or Romantic, or about similar stylistic boundaries
> #8 ...debated more about 4'33'' and whether it is music or not and whether it is bull**** or not
> #9 ...debated more about the definition of music
> #10 ...debated more about something totally subjective
> #11 ...made more 4'33'' / Haydn / Handel / Liszt / Chopin / viola jokes
> #12 ...posted more in the "Answer Question With A Question" -thread
> #13 other


#12 should be "posted more in STI".


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> #12 should be "posted more in STI".


But that would be an intelligent, not a stupid answer!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Picture from our latest Stupid Thread Ideas Editorial meeting:
> 
> View attachment 68200
> 
> 
> A cat who shall not be named is not visible, but that's because he was the dinner of that meeting. I love how diverse the STI team is - it's a wonderful example how chinese characters, paintings, houses, severed heads and hands can work together in harmony despite the differences. Well okay, sometimes the debates get quite fierce, but that's to be expected even among all-human groups.
> 
> The picture shows however quite brutally the less than ideal physical condition of Mahlerian, TresPicos and hpowders. You may have thought that their avatars are just normal black & white pictures but as this colored picture clearly shows they actually do look like zombies in real life. I keep telling them that the music they listen is not good for their health but they refuse to follow my advice.


Where's my-- oh, it's that wilting flower thingy.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Due to the low levels of activity in the Ballet forum, I propose that it be replaced by a Stupid Thread forum. Using my psychic powers, I looked into the future and saw that it was indeed so:








Note the high level of activity.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Due to the low levels of activity in the Ballet forum, I propose that it be replaced by a Stupid Thread forum. Using my psychic powers, I looked into the future and saw that it was indeed so:
> View attachment 68216
> 
> 
> Note the high level of activity.


Hacking skill secrets applied to false post creations in TC forum especially with multiple posts regarding Vivaldi's secret identity.


----------



## Celloman

Albert7 said:


> Hacking skill secrets applied to false post creations in TC forum especially with multiple posts regarding Vivaldi's secret identity.


Well, I'm not terribly bright.
I've read that sentence about ten times now and I still can't figure out what it means.

Can you give me a clue?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> Well, I'm not terribly bright.
> I've read that sentence about ten times now and I still can't figure out what it means.
> 
> Can you give me a clue?


I think it's something to do with the famous incident of 1722 when Vivaldi was accused of hacking Bach's website, Tales of Counterpoint.

TBH I don't have a clue either.


----------



## Albert7

Scientific papers regarding the secret hideout of Mozart's ghost or whereabouts.


----------



## TresPicos

There are too many threads here at TC. We only need five, really: 

- The Discussion Thread (where we discuss things related to classical music)

- The Other Discussion Thread (where we discuss things unrelated to classical music)

- The Non-Discussion Thread (where we don't discuss at all, but only post facts, like what we are currently listening to or "atonal music is ugly")

- The Question Thread (where we ask and answer questions) 

- The Stupid Thread Ideas Thread

Things would become much simpler if we only had these five threads to choose from. 

Is the TC staff deliberately trying to make our lives more difficult by keeping thousands of threads around? If so, why? To confuse us and make us more docile?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> There are too many threads here at TC. We only need five, really:
> 
> - The Discussion Thread (where we discuss things related to classical music)
> 
> - The Other Discussion Thread (where we discuss things unrelated to classical music)
> 
> - The Non-Discussion Thread (where we don't discuss at all, but only post facts, like what we are currently listening to or "atonal music is ugly")
> 
> - The Question Thread (where we ask and answer questions)
> 
> - The Stupid Thread Ideas Thread
> 
> Things would become much simpler if we only had these five threads to choose from.
> 
> Is the TC staff deliberately trying to make our lives more difficult by keeping thousands of threads around? If so, why? To confuse us and make us more docile?


I would propose a few more threads:


The Spam Thread (users spam here to stop spam on the other threads)
That Thread That You Don't Really Follow (a thread which is very popular but you don't quite understand)
The Administration Thread (for use only by mods, admins, and the STI editorial board)
The Game Thread (in which several games run at once - more fun, confusion and incoherence for everyone!)


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> I would propose a few more threads:
> 
> 
> The Spam Thread (users spam here to stop spam on the other threads)
> That Thread That You Don't Really Follow (a thread which is very popular but you don't quite understand)
> The Administration Thread (for use only by mods, admins, and the STI editorial board)
> The Game Thread (in which several games run at once - more fun, confusion and incoherence for everyone!)


Don't forget 
The Malicious Misattribution Thread


----------



## Dim7

*How Atonal Music Works*

As we all know atonal music is basically created by different relationships between a cat and a piano. Here's how it works:

Prime form - a cat walks forward on a piano

Inverted form - a piano walks forward on a cat

Retrograde form - a cat walks backwards on a piano

Retrograde inverted form - a piano walks backwards on a cat (duh!)


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> As we all know atonal music is basically created by different relationships between a cat and a piano. Here's how it works:
> 
> Prime form - a cat walks forward on a piano
> 
> Inverted form - a piano walks forward on a cat
> 
> Retrograde form - a cat walks backwards on a piano
> 
> Retrograde inverted form - a piano walks backwards on a cat (duh!)


Favoured form - A piano walks on a cat.


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> As we all know atonal music is basically created by different relationships between a cat and a piano. Here's how it works:
> 
> Prime form - a cat walks forward on a piano
> 
> Inverted form - a piano walks forward on a cat
> 
> Retrograde form - a cat walks backwards on a piano
> 
> Retrograde inverted form - a piano walks backwards on a cat (duh!)


Have you been reading E.T.A. Hoffman lately, by chance?


----------



## Polyphemus

TresPicos said:


> There are too many threads here at TC. We only need five, really:
> 
> - The Discussion Thread (where we discuss things related to classical music)
> 
> - The Other Discussion Thread (where we discuss things unrelated to classical music)
> 
> - The Non-Discussion Thread (where we don't discuss at all, but only post facts, like what we are currently listening to or "atonal music is ugly")
> 
> - The Question Thread (where we ask and answer questions)
> 
> - The Stupid Thread Ideas Thread
> 
> Things would become much simpler if we only had these five threads to choose from.
> 
> Is the TC staff deliberately trying to make our lives more difficult by keeping thousands of threads around? If so, why? To confuse us and make us more docile?


What price chaos then?


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> Have you been reading E.T.A. Hoffman lately, by chance?


Did he came up with the phrase "a cat walking across a piano" as a metaphor for music that sounds random?


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> Did he came up with the phrase "a cat walking across a piano" as a metaphor for music that sounds random?


Stretched a point to make a plug for a favorite novel: http://www.amazon.com/Life-Opinions...F8&qid=1429093817&sr=8-1&keywords=tomcat+murr

Anyways, with regards to your question: every annoying comment anyone's ever heard was coined by Thomas Beecham.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> As we all know atonal music is basically created by different relationships between a cat and a piano. Here's how it works:
> 
> Prime form - a cat walks forward on a piano
> 
> Inverted form - a piano walks forward on a cat
> 
> Retrograde form - a cat walks backwards on a piano
> 
> Retrograde inverted form - a piano walks backwards on a cat (duh!)


You forgot one:

Caged form - for piano and prepared cat


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> You forgot one:
> 
> Caged form - for piano and prepared cat


Slow roasted I presume. :devil: :devil:


----------



## hpowders

*New Sister Website!!*

For those of you who average 13 lines or more per post on Talk Classical, we are announcing *Bloviate Classical!!*
So those of you involved in never ending debates, can go on doing so, ad infinitum!!

Those who qualify will automatically be moved to Bloviate Classical, or as we like to say around here, BC.

Note: One cannot belong to both Websites.


----------



## Albert7

The Not-So-Well-Tuned Organ. Still going on like the Energizer bunny.


----------



## Guest

Polyphemus said:


> Slow roasted I presume. :devil: :devil:


Actually, it means "spiritually prepared"

Er, lulz.


----------



## Dim7

Eating pizza and its effects on playing Haydn's piano sonatas

Last thing you vomited

The Post Thread - post your posts here

Sentence thread - instead of the usual (writing random words that pop into your mind) write coherent grammatical sentences with correct punctuation


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Eating pizza and its effects on playing Haydn's piano sonatas
> 
> Last thing you vomited
> 
> The Post Thread - post your posts here
> 
> Sentence thread - instead of the usual (writing random words that pop into your mind) write coherent grammatical sentences with correct punctuation


Would that include full stops?


----------



## hpowders

The "Ask a question and provide an actual answer without hijacking the thread to serve one's one self-interests", thread.


----------



## hpowders

The "TC top 100 recommended, most influential posts". A new Sticky.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Would that include full stops?


Yes of course
Actualy screw the sentence thing, I'm gonna continue the Dada posting style: unicorn moustacche yess no what whatPUNKRAP sponge bob dieeeeee rabbit monkey go however 12345


----------



## hpowders

A new fun thread: Guess the poster's age and nationality from the style and content of their posts.

Top prize: a free Premium Membership with bannable infraction amnesty for a year.

Second and third prize winners will have all their infraction points dismissed.


----------



## Blancrocher

**The Innocuous Thread**

Hi Everyone,

Please don't reply to this thread. Just let it sink out of visibility without comment.


----------



## hpowders

*The Well-Tempered Poster*

Post No. 1: List and give anecdotal examples of your favorite even-keeled non-moderator posters; the one's who never get upset; the even-keeled personalities; the mature posters. I know it's hard, but see if you can come up with one.


----------



## hpowders

Current Posting With You Tube Videos:

Post no. 1: Make a You Tube video of yourself typing actual posts! Here's a golden opportunity to let us see you in your natural habitat!


----------



## Guest

I think we should have a thread along the lines of:

1. Post something sarcastic.

2. Take the previous poster's post entirely seriously.

Could be one hell of a "rager".


----------



## Vesteralen

My 30,000th paragraph

My 100,000th word

My 500,000th letter


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> The "TC top 100 recommended, most influential posts". A new Sticky.


1. Hpowders: Post #1. The Dawn Of A New Era.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Post a picture of your meals

Post a picture of your wallpaper

Post a picture of your parents

Post a picture of your favourite stationery

Post a picture of Jeremy Clarkson


----------



## hpowders

*Extra!!! Extra!!! Two month old baby girl randomly bangs on the piano and is recorded on You Tube, after which Pierre Boulez discovers it **and declares it a masterpiece, rivaling the* *Berg Piano Sonata in style and substance!!*


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> A new fun thread: Guess the poster's age and nationality from the style and content of their posts.
> 
> Top prize: a free Premium Membership with bannable infraction amnesty for a year.
> 
> Second and third prize winners will have all their infraction points dismissed.


Infraction amnesty? Forum gold!!


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Post a picture of Jeremy Clarkson


Oh, that's just tasteless.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Current Posting With You Tube Videos:
> 
> Post no. 1: Make a You Tube video of yourself typing actual posts! Here's a golden opportunity to let us see you in your natural habitat!


That's practically postpostpostmodern.


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> Infraction amnesty? Forum gold!!


Another possible prize being worked on is a special four digit code which when entered along with a special password bypasses any TC crash and allows the winner to keep posting....alone.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Current Posting With You Tube Videos:
> 
> Post no. 1: Make a You Tube video of yourself typing actual posts! Here's a golden opportunity to let us see you in your natural habitat!


Where can I buy tickets to your live posting performances?? And what is the dress code in your posting concerts?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Where can I buy tickets to your live posting performances?? And what is the dress code in your posting concerts?


"Casual undergarments" would be minimal requirement, unless you require a pointer.


----------



## Dim7

Atonal composers compose either by complex mathematical equations giving no consideration how the music will actually sound or else by banging the piano randomly. The result sounds really horrible even to those who claim to like it. 

Just my opinion, no offense intended. I'm just trying to start a civil debate. And since I have a right to my opinion you can't object to it. But I have nothing against those who pretend to like it as long as they are not too open and in-your-face about it (I'm so generous and tolerant).


----------



## Dim7

The Timely Dead: Composers who died just at the right time (For me, it would be Justin B. Ber, died just before he was going to take composition lessons from Schoenberg)

What doesn't happen out of my death - Go out or steal!

Would You Trade... (eg. three 4'33'' threads for two "best X" polls)

Eating Haydn's piano sonatas and its effects on playing pizza


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Atonal composers compose either by complex mathematical equations giving no consideration how the music will actually sound or else by banging the piano randomly. The result sounds really horrible even to those who claim to like it.
> 
> Just my opinion, no offense intended. I'm just trying to start a civil debate. And since I have right to my opinion you can't object to it. But I have nothing against those who pretend to like it as long as they are not too open and in-your-face about it (I'm so generous and tolerant).


That's very generous of you. I don't think people realise just how tiring it is to maintain a pretence.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> But I have nothing against those who pretend to like it as long as they are not too open and in-your-face about it (I'm so generous and tolerant).


I realized only after posting this the futility of of pretending to like something in the closet...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TC Top 100+ Recommended Posters


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> Picture from our latest Stupid Thread Ideas Editorial meeting:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> A cat who shall not be named is not visible, but that's because he was the dinner of that meeting. I love how diverse the STI team is - it's a wonderful example how chinese characters, paintings, houses, severed heads and hands can work together in harmony despite the differences. Well okay, sometimes the debates get quite fierce, but that's to be expected even among all-human groups.
> 
> The picture shows however quite brutally the less than ideal physical condition of Mahlerian, TresPicos and hpowders. You may have thought that their avatars are just normal black & white pictures but as this colored picture clearly shows they actually do look like zombies in real life. I keep telling them that the music they listen is not good for their health but they refuse to follow my advice.


Huh, *ANOTHER* STI editorial board meeting I wasn't told about!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TurnaboutVox said:


> Huh, *ANOTHER* STI editorial board meeting I wasn't told about!


You missed this morning's too. We had a lovely discussion about 4'33''.


----------



## Albert7

The alternative universe of the STI citizens via a wormhole...


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: Any manuals out there on posting tips?

Post No. 1: I looked in the "Dummies" Series of tutorials and couldn't find anything.


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> That's very generous of you. I don't think people realise just how tiring it is to maintain a pretence.


Tiring, yes.

It's tiring enough just having to pretend to be an atonal music lover all the time, but in order to be convincing you actually have to listen to a lot of atonal music so you know what you are talking about, and that is the hardest part.

Schoenberg literally makes my ears bleed, but I know that if I just keep listening, I will be able to receive that much sought-after street cred on TalkClassical the next day. I also try to keep in mind Winston Churchill's inspirational words on atonal music listening: "If you're going through hell, keep going."


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Newbie here: Any manuals out there on posting tips?
> 
> Post No. 1: I looked in the "Dummies" Series of tutorials and couldn't find anything.


You can't give or receive any tips until you have reached 500 posts. Then, all you need is to connect a Paypal account to your TC user account, and a text box will be displayed next to "Like this post". There, you can add the amount you want to tip that particular poster.

Be careful, though. No sanity checks are done for the amount you enter! One forgotten dot, and Dim7 vacations in the Caribbean (and you don't).


----------



## Celloman

*The Diatonic Music Haters' Club*

As we all know, the supremacy of chromaticism in the 20th century rendered all diatonic musics obsolete. We have no use for abominations such as major and minor triads, which are of course childish and utterly simplistic.

Yesterday, I tried to sit through a Mozart symphony and had to stop because I thought my ears were bleeding. Why, I asked myself, are triads so inherently ugly? What motivated composers to commit such aural travesties? I was in agony, so I popped in a CD of Penderecki's _Threnody_ and felt much relieved.

Have you had similar experiences?


----------



## hpowders

Which of the late, great TC Posters of the past would you resurrect and which posting pointers would you discuss with them?
List up to four dead posters.


----------



## hpowders

Which TC Posters have you hated, but over time, have come to love?
Anecdotal examples please.


----------



## Albert7

Which composers would win the cooking contest against Bobby Flay? Unsure... that or the Iron Chefs?


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite classical compositions with 13 movements?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Your favourite Bach opera?
Top 5 (or 10 if you can't keep it to 5) Beethoven operas


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> *The Diatonic Music Haters' Club*
> 
> As we all know, the supremacy of chromaticism in the 20th century rendered all diatonic musics obsolete. We have no use for abominations such as major and minor triads, which are of course childish and utterly simplistic.
> 
> Yesterday, I tried to sit through a Mozart symphony and had to stop because I thought my ears were bleeding. Why, I asked myself, are triads so inherently ugly? What motivated composers to commit such aural travesties? I was in agony, so I popped in a CD of Penderecki's _Threnody_ and felt much relieved.
> 
> Have you had similar experiences?


You wait until you hear tonal arpeggios on a harp. Your ears will die.


----------



## Albert7

Discussions regarding the techno remix of Ravel's Bolero. Or has it been done already?


----------



## Celloman

MoonlightSonata said:


> Your favourite Bach opera?


The Coffee Cantata, obviously!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> The Coffee Cantata, obviously!


Isn't that an oratorio?


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> The Coffee Cantata, obviously!


Scholars search for the Tea Cantata to see if it mixes well with the Wine Cantata.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Who needs the "Overall Top Posters" column? Surely it should be replaced by this:


----------



## SimonNZ

^hey now...I've contributed way more that Albert

I've also _contributed_ way more than Albert

...or so I flatter myself


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> ^hey now...I've contributed way more that Albert
> 
> I've also _contributed_ way more than Albert
> 
> ...or so I flatter myself


Apparently Albert has posted more than you, but I suspect you understood most of yours.


----------



## Blancrocher

**the small font thread**

hey everybody! this is the small font thread! come here to express ideas you're not very confident about. or make long posts that don't take up too much of the page. or make fun of people with poor eyesight. use it as you will!


----------



## Guest

Stupid Thread Ideas

(not just Stupidity)​


----------



## Dim7

The Joke Insult thread: insult TC members, but only as "jokes". Since the insults are intended to be humorous (whether they succeed or not), ToS doesn't apply to this thread. Nobody _really_ means the horrible things they say about you in this thread, so no need to be offended. I go first: cl4ssiclfan20394 is a ****ing *****!!!!!1 I wish you horrible and painful death!!!!11


----------



## Dim7

*SuperDuperModerator has deleted*

over 100000 posts

*and banned*

over 1000 members

>>>>>>









Keep abusing your power!!!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The "Write In Such A Large Font That It Annoys Everyone" Thread*


----------



## MoonlightSonata

An inconsequential user nobody's heard of has completed

9,000

completely irrelevant actions!!!!!!111

Wow!

Keep being obscure!!!!!1111


----------



## MoonlightSonata

congratulations to

Trololol42

for

Using Comic Sans twice in one day!

*Keep annoying people!!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## Albert7

Graphic notation of John Cage in comic sans font thus throwing off the performers' ability to read the score.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The Ten Commandments of TC:

1. I am the Administrator thy Magle
2. Thou shalt have no other administrator before me (except maybe Krummhorn on occasion)
3.Thou shalt not make unto thee any spam threads
4. Thou shalt not troll
5. Remember the ToS
6. Honour thy Moderators
7. Thou shalt not ad hom
8. Thou shalt not bait
9. Thou shalt not report innocent posts
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's post count


----------



## Albert7

The Ten Commandments of Compositions

1. All concerti are composed in the key of A flat minor.
2. All symphonies are composed in the key of C major.
3. All etudes are composed in the key of F sharp minor.
4. All polonaises are composed in the key of B minor.
5. All operas are composed in the key of G sharp major.
6. All interludes are composed in the key of C minor.
7. All waltzes are composed in the key of D sharp major.
8. All graphic notations are composed in a fake key.
9. Time signatures cease to exist for students of these rules.
10. Disregard rules 1-9.


----------



## Celloman

*The Ten Commandments of John Cage*

1. Thou shalt prefer the sound that occureth by chance.
2. Thou shalt eat mushrooms and shall have no other foods before ye.
3. Thou shalt consult the _I Ching_ in all matters of musical composition.
4. Thou shalt bestow upon the pianoforte all manner of metallic devices before ye playeth it.
5.
6. When ye attendeth a concert, thou shalt do whatever ye like.
7. id*#G duY(RQ bd(7#0Kbu qy3!bq _bw
8. If ye canst find a water duck, an electric blender may suffice forthwith.
9. Yea, the coin toss is holy.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's cough, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's fart, thou shalt not covet any sound that is thy neighbor's.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The 10 Commandments of Philip Glass*

1. 1. 1. 1. one 1. 1. i 1. one i I 1. one II i one 1. two one one i. 1. one. 1. i. 2. II I one. three one two one 1. 1. 1. 3. three one II one III four two 2. iii one IV three V ....


----------



## SimonNZ

Due to the spreading of "The A Virus", all members whose usernames begin with the letter A are now permanently banned, in the hope of arresting the craziness before it can reach any further up the alphabet.

Apologies to arpeggio, Andolink, Art Rock and all other seemingly virus-free "A" members who will suffer as a result of this. We're sure you'll recognise that its for the greater good.


----------



## Albert7

If Liszt had a Dante Symphony and Faust Symphony, some scholars are surmising the existence of a James Joyce Symphony too.


----------



## Kivimees

Poll: What's your favourite KenOC avatar? (Multiple choices allowed)

I'm voting for the Boozy Santa and the Mandrill.


----------



## KenOC

Kivimees said:


> Poll: What's your favourite KenOC avatar?


Maybe you'll like the new one...


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The 10 Commandments of Philip Glass*
> 
> 1. 1. 1. 1. one 1. 1. i 1. one i I 1. one II i one 1. two one one i. 1. one. 1. i. 2. II I one. three one two one 1. 1. 1. 3. three one II one III four two 2. iii one IV three V ....


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Made me laugh for a whole minute straight...


----------



## Dim7

Kivimees said:


> Poll: What's your favourite KenOC avatar? (Multiple choices allowed)
> 
> I'm voting for the Boozy Santa and the Mandrill.


I've already voted for the mandrill..... I hope it will have a comeback.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Haydn Was A Composer: Agree or Disagree

(Choose one)

*Agree
*Disagree
*Sure (about the answer)
*I know enough to decide
*I care


----------



## Kivimees

KenOC said:


> Maybe you'll like the new one...


Too late:

"You have already voted on this poll"


----------



## Albert7

Discussion about The Hardy Boys Meets Lang Lang and the Chinese Spy Ring.


----------



## Dim7

Wagner goes to the grocery store with Brad Pitt and his house

Karajan scrubs all the floors in Denmark to save the universe

Fixing printers and printing fixers with Debussy's help


----------



## Albert7

Janitorial services provided by Clara Haskil's family for the concert hall.


----------



## Dim7

Something has

happened!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>









Well done, something - you happened!


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Wagner goes to the grocery store with Brad Pitt and his house
> 
> Karajan scrubs all the floors in Denmark to save the universe
> 
> Fixing printers and printing fixers with Debussy's help


Okay, here goes:

Schrödinger's cat, Bruckner's dog and Dutilleux' pigeon performing classical and not-so-classical music in Leipzig

The interruption by a raging bull of a boules game between Léhar and Weber in Leipzig and its continuation in space (the final frontier)

Joseph Joachim cuts himself shaving between the second and third movements of Mendelssohn's E minor violin concerto at a performance in Leipzig

Romantic composers convening in Leipzig to prepare for a counterstrike against 20th century music, but they all get drunk on wine and beer and modern music prevails

The pouring rain outside accompanying Alan Hovhaness burning the scores of symphonies #68 through #183 while eating leftovers in his summer house near Leipzig

Edvard Grieg taking things into account before participating in a Formula One race from North Cape to Leizpig

Fraudulent behavior among fish merchants in Leipzig observed by Johann Christian Bach and Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach

Modest Mussorgsky roaming the streets of Leipzig after an unsuccessful installation of Microsoft Office


----------



## Dim7

Wow, words cannot describe the nearly inhuman creativity needed to come up with such ideas. When you decide on the composers, how do you determine what the rest of the sentence will be about? I bet there's some kind of profound logic and philosophy behind all this. One has to admire the deep interconnection between all the motifs.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

:I believe it's my turn now:

The irrespective brush argues in the Three microprocessor stops the Berg tough cabbage disciplinary ink.

The mate planes whatever ago razor around the century, but can a drained courier Haydn behaves?

The cupboard enters in the Busoni play advance!

An alphabetical delight trails over at your disappointed potential, Koechlin.

Trailing Second Viennese school this stresses the warm cube accounts: "a singing telephone in the chalk".

The cunning card game! Franck treasures a carrot.

(7/11; 7654!)


----------



## Dim7

This is so meta... I'm laughing at parodies of stupid "stupid thread ideas".


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> This is so meta... I'm laughing at parodies of stupid "stupid thread ideas".


Sorry, do you mind? "Berg Tough Cabbage Disciplinary Ink and its Stoppages in the Trailing Second Viennese school" was the subject of my Ph.D. thesis at the University of Liezpig, I'll have you know.


----------



## Dim7

Now with TC members rather than composers/musicians...

SimonNZ and ArtMusic sing Kumbaya at the wedding of "Ballet" and "Site Feedback & Technical Support" subforums

TurnaboutVox turns around in a box with a fox and they talk in turns about pox

TresPicos roasts some polls in order to poll some roasts

DiesIraeVIX dies and lives while posting about posts posting about post-modern posting

hpowders eats some infraction points for lunch

Statistical anomalies and economic discussions in MoonlightSonata's avatar

Reporting the posts of Frederick Magle to the TC site owner to fix the television


----------



## Albert7

10 part inventions from composers of the Fourth Viennese sausage school.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Theht Paplinildromemordlinilpap Sylyslalbleselblalsylys Threadaerht Sylyslalbleselblalsylys Paplinildromemordlinilpap Theht


----------



## Albert7

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Theht Paplinildromemordlinilpap Sylyslalbleselblalsylys Threadaerht Sylyslalbleselblalsylys Paplinildromemordlinilpap Theht


Use of RW's poetry as part of a new set of Lieder.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

This morning I clarinet concerto woke up.
Then I Feldman had breakfast - a lovely Webern piece of toast.
Next, I logged atonal on to TC barline.
Then, after Vivaldi I had posted a timbre dozen or flute so posts, I recapitulation logged off again.
Opera after eating lunch, STI I logged back Current Listening on to TSimonNZC
Then I PetrB posted about Dim7 hpowders twenty more posts DiesIraeVIX.
TresPicos Then I millionrainbows logged Mahlerian Krummhorn Monteverdi off again Scarlatti.
Then CPE Bach I Handel Tallis went Gluck to Byrd bed Allegri.


----------



## Albert7

Beethoven haiku
Smells like teen spirit
Posthorn mess

260 word essay about the haiku above.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Beethoven haiku
> Smells like teen spirit
> Posthorn mess
> 
> 260 word essay about the haiku above.


Um... that's not a haiku, is it?


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: So what's the proper decorum: Should I listen to Vivaldi's Four Seasons all at once or is it best to play each concerto at the actual time each season changes?

Post No. 1: This stuff is all new to me and I want to get the maximum experience from it.


----------



## Guest

"Keep MrPowders Awake" Bruckner compilation CD of the loudest and fastest bits on a loop.


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Newbie here: So what's the proper decorum: Should I listen to Vivaldi's Four Seasons all at once or is it best to play each concerto at the actual time each season changes?
> 
> Post No. 1: This stuff is all new to me and I want to get the maximum experience from it.


I usually listen to them all at once. I just open four browser tabs with Youtube on my computer, one with each season. It's a bit tricky to get them all to start at the same time, though.

Then, it's like having four orchestras in one room, each playing one season, and you can drift between the seasons quite freely. After a while, it sounds more like Schoenberg than Vivaldi, but that was probably Vivaldi's intention in the first place.

By the way, listening to many works simultaneously is a great way to get a lot of listening done in a short period of time. Once, I got through all of Haydn's symphonies in one day, using this method.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Your favorite STILE (STI genre)?

*Noob question
*Bizarre forum related suggestion
*Metal & Classical
*Atonal / modern / avant-garde
*4'33''
*Paradoxical
*Self-referential 
*Random word salad / Surreal
*Hate
*Mediocre / Boring / Average / Indifference
*'Fun' Game
*Congratulation
*Other


----------



## Blancrocher

TresPicos said:


> I usually listen to them all at once. I just open four browser tabs with Youtube on my computer, one with each season. It's a bit tricky to get them all to start at the same time, though.
> 
> It's like having four orchestras in one room, each playing one season, and you can drift between the seasons quite freely. After a while, it sounds more like Schoenberg than Vivaldi, but that was probably Vivaldi's intention in the first place.
> 
> By the way, listening to many works simultaneously is a great way to get a lot of listening done in a short period of time. Once, I got through all of Haydn's symphonies in one day, using this method.


4 seasons at once? Are you from Chicago by chance, TresPicos?


----------



## Dim7

Posters you like yet look down upon

TC top 100+ recommended things
Nominated: Breathing, food, sleep, home, source of income, exercise, teethbrush, shower, clothing


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> TC top 100+ recommended things
> Nominated: Breathing, food, sleep, home, source of income, *exercise*, teethbrush, shower, clothing


Exercise? Who put exercise on the list?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Exercise? Who put exercise on the list?


One of those noisy fringe minority "healthy lifestyle" extremists... I guess we have to put it on the list to appease them :/


----------



## millionrainbows

I tried some modern music on my older brother, whose favorite classical music is the Bach Cantatas.
First up, Peter Schat, chamber works. "What do you think?"

He answered, "This sounds like Schat."

Okay, how about some French Spectralism? A piano work by Philippe Manoury?

"What about this one?"

"It sounds...Manoury."

Hmm...I wonder what he meant by that?


----------



## Albert7

Vivaldi's fifth season... the rediscovered manuscript.


----------



## millionrainbows

If Vivaldi had lived today, he would have written "The Two Seasons" because of global warming. Two movements, cold and hot.


----------



## hpowders

Help requested!!

Post No. 1: I'm a newbie with limited attention span. Is it okay when I want to listen to a theme and variations if I listen to the theme, stop for a snack, then play a couple of variations, stop, get a cup of coffee and then finish the deal?


----------



## millionrainbows

The Twelve Commandments of Arnold Schoenberg:

1. Thou shalt choose 12 notes.
2. Thou shalt order these notes.
3. Thou shall not repeat any note before all other notes have been used.
4. Thou shalt wonder, "How the hell do I get any harmony out of this?"
5. Thou shalt go back and rethink some of these rules.
6. Thou shalt then decide to use the row more loosely, and deviate whenever necessary to simulate a sense of sonorous tonality.
7. Thou shalt use Brahms as thy model, but not the beard.
8. Thou shalt imitate older, traditional concerto, string quartet, and dance forms and older models, so thou shalt be perceived as a traditionalist.
9. Thou shalt form thy music as ye did with older tonal music, same rhythmic syntax, same phrase structures, only thou shalt use the row, and make great leaps in the melodies.
10. Thou shalt shave thy head, and stop eating.
11. Thou shalt make weird paintings of skull-like heads with glowing eyes.
12. Thou shalt write a theory book, The Harmonielehre, just in case they think you don't know what you're doing.


----------



## Albert7

Scholarly results regarding the effects of Mahler lager on the listening experience of Mahler's symphonies.


----------



## Dim7

Albert7 said:


> Janitorial services provided by Clara Haskil's family for the concert hall.


I don't know if this is a case of Stockholm syndrome or something but to be honest, I'm actually finding this kinda funny...


----------



## Albert7

The definitive score of Schubert's Eighth Symphony in Chinese characters for graphical notation.


----------



## hpowders

TalkingHead said:


> "Keep MrPowders Awake" Bruckner compilation CD of the loudest and fastest bits on a loop.


Won't bother me. Of Koss I have sealed headphones!!


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Won't bother me. Of Koss I have sealed headphones!!


My lips are sealed a la Go-Go's.

Is Anne Sofie von Otter's favorite animal an otter?


----------



## millionrainbows

Scholarly article: _The Effects of Extended Isolation and Social Alienation while listening to Mahler, Bruckner, and Wagner_

Scholarly article: _The Effects of Attention Deficit Disorder Precipitated by Listening to Webern_


----------



## MoonlightSonata

"On Hearing the First 4'33'' Joke In Spring"


----------



## Dim7

Hey, oldbie here. I was wondering: after 6 years at TalkClassical should I finally introduce myself? If yes, after introducing myself, should I regret for doing something so stupid?

My 1129th post. I hope this is dumb.


----------



## Albert7

Today all STI posts will be designated as "non-stupid" for income tax purposes.


----------



## hpowders

*Is this okay?*

Post No. 1: I can't stand Bruckner but I love what Karajan does with the final coda of his Third Symphony recording.
So is it okay if I start the symphony from the beginning and set my alarm clock for 55 minutes, so I don't miss that coda?


----------



## Albert7

Setting your alarm clock to 4' 33" to wake up for work every morning.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The "State the Obvious" Thread*
Post 1: This is my 2,724th post, excluding those that have been made in forums that do not count towards the total. My username is MoonlightSonata. I will not tell you my password. I am writing in English. This is a sentence. Word. Comma, colon: full stop.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The "State the Obvious" Thread*
> Post 1: This is my 2,724th post, excluding those that have been made in forums that do not count towards the total. My username is MoonlightSonata. I will not tell you my password. I am writing in English. This is a sentence. Word. Comma, colon: full stop.


Your TC forum account has been hacked and your posts have been appropriated under the moniker of SunlightSonata.


----------



## Albert7

Joe Green and his suspicious relationship to Grant Green in scholarly journal.


----------



## omega

Hi! I'm a professional autodidact arranger, and I would like to "reshape" some classical pieces. What should I begin with?

(This is a multiple choice poll.)


 Bach: _The Well-Tempered Clavier_ arranged for Ondes Maternot.
 Mahler: _Symphony of a Thousand_ for string quartet.
 Chopin: _Nocturnes_ for brass band.
 Bach: _Brandenburg Concerti_ for djidjeridoo and synthetizer.
 Mendelssohn: Octet for piano quartet.
 Rautavaara: _Cantus Arcticus_ for Equatorial birds, instead of Arctic ones.
 Others (please tell me.)


----------



## Dim7

omega said:


> Hi! I'm a professional autodidact arranger, and I would like to "reshape" some classical pieces. What should I begin with?
> 
> (This is a multiple choice poll.)
> 
> 
> Bach: _The Well-Tempered Clavier_ arranged for Ondes Maternot.
> Mahler: _Symphony of a Thousand_ for string quartet.
> Chopin: _Nocturnes_ for brass band.
> Bach: _Brandenburg Concerti_ for djidjeridoo and synthetizer.
> Mendelssohn: Octet for piano quartet.
> Rautavaara: _Cantus Arcticus_ for Equatorial birds, instead of Arctic ones.
> Others (please tell me.)



Schoenberg: Variations for Orchestra, a cappella version for Britney Spears
John Cage: As Slow As Possible, for DragonForce


----------



## omega

omega said:


> Hi! I'm a professional autodidact arranger, and I would like to "reshape" some classical pieces. What should I begin with?
> 
> (This is a multiple choice poll.)
> 
> 
> Bach: _The Well-Tempered Clavier_ arranged for Ondes Maternot.
> Mahler: _Symphony of a Thousand_ for string quartet.
> Chopin: _Nocturnes_ for brass band.
> Bach: _Brandenburg Concerti_ for djidjeridoo and synthetizer.
> Mendelssohn: Octet for piano quartet.
> Rautavaara: _Cantus Arcticus_ for Equatorial birds, instead of Arctic ones.
> Others (please tell me.)


Some others:

 Steve Reich: _Musician for Eighteen Musics_: One performer plays 18 pieces at the same time.
 Stravinsky: _The Rite of Spring_ for mixed chorus a capella.


----------



## Dim7

Simplify Debates Between Mahlerian And EdwardBast So That Laymen Can Understand Them:

EdwardBast: Shostakovich rulz

Mahlerian: No Shostakovich sux

EdwardBast: Your wrong.

Mahlerian: No your wrong.

Edward: Shosta rulz, Mahler sometimes sux a little bit although other times rulz.

Mahlerian: No Mahler always rulz, you wrong. Only Shosta 4th symphony rulz, all other sux.

Edward: Your wrong.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Simplify Debates Between Mahlerian And EdwardBast So That Laymen Can Understand Them:
> 
> EdwardBast: Shostakovich rulz
> 
> Mahlerian: No Shostakovich sux
> 
> EdwardBast: Your wrong.
> 
> Mahlerian: No your wrong.
> 
> Edward: Shosta rulz, Mahler sometimes sux a little bit although other times rulz.
> 
> Mahlerian: No Mahler always rulz, you wrong. Only Shosta 4th symphony rulz, all other sux.
> 
> Edward: Your wrong.


Lulz

.................


----------



## Guest

omega said:


> Rautavaara: _Cantus Arcticus_ for Equatorial birds, instead of Arctic ones.


Messiaen has already done this.


----------



## Dim7

*In Praise of 3rd Century Stupidity*

It is often said that Stupid Thread Ideas turned totally crazy and alienating starting somewhere after page 200. But what is often forgotten is the incredible diversity of 3rd century STIs; contrary to some people's complaints the "Random Word Salad" -style, whatever its merits, did not totally dominate 3rd century stupidity. This thread is to celebrate 3rd century in its all forms, please take your negativity elsewhere. Here's a list of major thread ideas in this century: [...]

Somebody responds in a naggy voice: "I don't think its really appropriate to list so many thread ideas that continued older non-aleatoric styles. Such reactonary STIs can hardly represent the 3rd century. We can't just keep posting STIs that have some kind of joke/point/punchline forever, it may be fun but it's not terribly healthy."

"Forget the 3rd Century, all ideas worth posting were already posted in previous centuries. Sure, new styles are rubbish but the modernists are right in one thing: the new in date but conservative in style thread ideas are just shallow pastiche and imitation of what has already been done to death."


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> It is often said that Stupid Thread Ideas turned totally crazy and alienating starting somewhere after page 200. But what is often forgotten is the incredible diversity of 3rd century STIs; contrary to some people's complaints the "Random Word Salad" -style, whatever its merits, did not totally dominate 3rd century stupidity. This thread is to celebrate 3rd century in its all forms, please take your negativity elsewhere. Here's a list of major thread ideas in this century: [...]
> 
> Somebody responds in a naggy voice: "I don't think its really appropriate to list so many thread ideas that continued older non-aleatoric styles. Such reactonary STIs can hardly represent the 3rd century. We can't just keep posting STIs that have some kind of joke/point/punchline forever, it may be fun but its not terribly healthy."
> 
> "Forget the 3rd Century, all ideas worth posting were already posted in previous centuries. Sure, new styles are rubbish but the modernists are right in one thing: the new in date but conservative in style thread ideas are just shallow pastiche and imitation of what has already been done to death."


I prefer the 3 BCE stuff myself. Them mammoths make me laff.


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> *Is this okay?*
> 
> Post No. 1: I can't stand Bruckner but I love what Karajan does with the final coda of his Third Symphony recording.
> So is it okay if I start the symphony from the beginning and set my alarm clock for 55 minutes, so I don't miss that coda?


Depends on what you mean by "okay". Is it legal? Yes. Is it morally acceptable? Probably. Is it customary? No. Is it polite? Don't know. Does it affect the environment negatively? Possibly. Will it increase Bruckner's popularity? Slightly. Will it make you more inclined to listen to it again? Perhaps. Will it eventually wear out the battery of your alarm clock? Yes.

Also, to be honest, I think it's real stupid of you to listen through the whole piece if you're just interested in the end. Don't you think it would be a _bit _smarter to fast forward to 30 minutes played and then set your alarm clock for 25 minutes? Geez... Some people...


----------



## Celloman

*Talk Classical's Top Post-1950 Works: #9-19*

009. Górecki: Sixty minutes of slow music. The double basses have a kewl melody at the beginning, though.
010. Crumb: String quartet having a heart attack.
011. Grisey: Les Espaces? More like a "space out".
012. Takemitsu: From this music flows time - but that's about it.
013. Adams: If you say the name of this piece, I will say "Bless you!"
014. Penderecki: I hear a lot of shouting and talking. Where's the singing?
015. Ligeti: A bunch of ocarinas playing the wrong notes _on purpose_. 
016. Messiaen: It's those stupid interstellar birds again.
017. Lutoslawski: Random notes _again_. What's up with this? The first movement is really boring.
018. Britten: He picked the wrong name for this piece. Should have called it "Ode to the Tritone".
The idiot.
019. Varèse: An actual dessert would be much more enjoyable than this.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

*The TC Stupid Thread Ideas Top Page Thread - Voting*

You may nominate two thread pages, giving two points to your first choice and one point to your second. Or not - we may change the rules later. Remember to post your ideas for format changes in our sister thread TC Stupid Thread Ideas - Gratuitous Modifications - these will be automatically incorporated in time for the next poster to nominate. Or perhaps not, it's your guess.

Updated board (notes in brackets)

After Dim7:

Page 128 (2013) (contains Septimal Tritone classic) / Page 244 (2014) (contains witty Blancrocher riposte)

Nominated:
Page 130 (2013) - Tres Picos
Page 42 (2012) - hpowders

Seconded:
*26: Page 1 (1958)* (Is this eligible? Poster was born before 1900 and his last joke was published in 1951) 
19: Page 119 (2013) (rare caustic gem by PetrC)
12/13: Page 10 (2000) (*either 12 or 13 votes,we can't remember)
24: Page 11 (2000, removed by moderators, mysteriously reappeared 'edited' 2011)
09: Page 292 (1976, updated and digitalised 2015)
22: Page 3412 (2057, appeared through a wormhole in time and space)
01: Page 207 (2014) (contains an obscure Baroque joke only the nominator found funny)
-23: Page 112 (2013) (includes off colour joke about TC member which resulted in legal action)
*33: Page 503 (2016)*(bawdy 'Current Listening Vol. LXXVI' parody by new member SunlightMoonata)
25: Page 1753 (2026) (infamous atonality joke by future member almadeutscher05)
14: Page 1984 (1984)
??: Page 17 (1997) (can anyone recall?)
08: Pages 6 - 367 (1964 - present) (epic LaMonte Young satire)

*TurnaboutVox* likes this post


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Intellectuality Rating System*

To prevent confusion on TC, we have installed software that rates how intellectual each conversation is. Once it goes past a certain threshold of difficulty, spelling mistakes and text language are automatically added to each post. For example:
_Stravinsky certainly exhibited neo-classical tendencies, as exemplified in some of his later works_
would become
_Stravinky was liek so old-fasheoned sometimes and he was like lol everyone look at my oldness when he was old_

This system is guaranteed to make discussions more intelligible to the layman.


----------



## Guest

Moonlite like wazzup?


----------



## Guest

Kafka: TC Best Fiction List

Vote for your favourite!

The rules will be vaguely alluded to at best; kept hidden at worst.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Dim7 said:


> Simplify Debates Between Mahlerian And EdwardBast So That Laymen Can Understand Them:
> 
> EdwardBast: Shostakovich rulz
> 
> Mahlerian: No Shostakovich sux
> 
> EdwardBast: Your wrong.
> 
> Mahlerian: No your wrong.
> 
> Edward: Shosta rulz, Mahler sometimes sux a little bit although other times rulz.
> 
> Mahlerian: No Mahler always rulz, you wrong. Only Shosta 4th symphony rulz, all other sux.
> 
> Edward: Your wrong.


My favorite part is when Mahlerian pulls the 'Bugs Bunny switcheroo' on him.

Mahlerian: Shostakovich sux!

Edward: Shostakovich rulz!

Mahlerian: No, he sux!!

Edward: No, he rulz!!!

Mahlerian: No, he rulz!

Edward: No, he sux!... hey, waaaaaait a minute!



> *Bugs*: It's true, Doc. I'm a rabbit, alright. Would you like to shoot me now or wait 'til you get home?
> *Daffy*: Shoot him now!!!! Shoot him now!!!!
> *Bugs*: You keep outta this! He doesn't have to shoot you now!
> *Daffy*: He does so have to shoot me now! (to Elmer) I demand that you shoot me now!


----------



## DiesIraeCX

*The "Stick it to the Mods" thread. *

Are you ever incredibly frustrated when the Mods make the correct call and close down threads because of incivility, name-calling, and fighting? Well, use this thread as a placeholder to continue the fighting and name-calling as if the Mods never closed it down in the first place!

Does it anger you beyond belief when a Mod rightly removes one of your insensitive and clearly in-the-wrong posts? Well, whether you're in the wrong or not, use this thread to re-post exactly what they removed without any consequences.*

*There may (will) be consequences.


----------



## KenOC

New protocol for STI posts: Only 12 posts will be allowed, but they may be reposted upside down or backwards, made more or less strident, and combined with themselves. With this approach, STI will dominate this forum for a hundred years!

Actually it's well on the way already.


----------



## Dim7

Serial post-feedback: put all TC members (that have certain minimum amount of posts) in order without repeating any member. You may give likes to posters in this order (prime form) or backwards, or else report posts by these posters in this order (inversion) or report in backward order (retrograde inversion).


----------



## Dim7

DiesIraeVIX said:


> *The "Stick it to the Mods" thread. *
> 
> Are you ever incredibly frustrated when the Mods make the correct call and close down threads because of incivility, name-calling, and fighting? Well, use this thread as a placeholder to continue the fighting and name-calling as if the Mods never closed it down in the first place!
> 
> Does it anger you beyond belief when a Mod rightly removes one of your insensitive and clearly in-the-wrong posts? Well, whether you're in the wrong or not, use this thread to re-post exactly what they removed without any consequences.*
> 
> *There may (will) be consequences.


My deleted STI about excessive intimacy of chamber music might survive in that thread... or not.


----------



## Guest

Perhaps a series of threads where a poster (only one) can simply talk to himself about his experience listening to a composer (only one). If the thread isn't bumped, you know something drastic happened.

Oh wait...


----------



## Celloman

(post removed due to unnecessary comma)

The offending poster (Celloman) has been permanently banned from TC.

Please use proper punctuation or you too may be banned without warning.

Yours sincerely,
-Krummhorn


----------



## Albert7

12 tone serialist posts will be removed without undue warning... first infractions will be required posts in traditional tonal tones or you will be required to ghostwrite Celloman's posts.


----------



## Woodduck

DiesIraeVIX said:


> *The "Stick it to the Mods" thread. *
> 
> Are you ever incredibly frustrated when the Mods make the correct call and close down threads because of incivility, name-calling, and fighting? Well, use this thread as a placeholder to continue the fighting and name-calling as if the Mods never closed it down in the first place!
> 
> Does it anger you beyond belief when a Mod rightly removes one of your insensitive and clearly in-the-wrong posts? Well, whether you're in the wrong or not, use this thread to re-post exactly what they removed without any consequences.*
> 
> *There may (will) be consequences.


Yes, _yes!_ I want this. I want the freedom to say horsepuckey at the appropriate time.

It's always the appropriate time.


----------



## Becca

this post was self-censored


----------



## Woodduck

Becca said:


> this post was self-censored


Can posts censor themselves?

Can we watch next time?


----------



## Albert7

The opera has a parental advisory sticker on the curtains of the production. Warning of salaciousness in Salome.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Threaderism Spoon*
In thris thead, wosters pill bonly e tallowed o eak spin roonerspisms. 
Viols userarting ris thule bill we banmanently pered.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The Threaderism Spoon*
> In thris thead, wosters pill bonly e tallowed o eak spin roonerspisms.
> Viols userarting ris thule bill we banmanently pered.


Can you just translate that into Pig Latin?


----------



## science

best recordings of Shostakovich symphonies


----------



## KenOC

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The Threaderism Spoon*
> In thris thead, wosters pill bonly e tallowed o eak spin roonerspisms.
> Viols userarting ris thule bill we banmanently pered.


OK, crock off the knap!


----------



## TresPicos

This post has not yet been reviewed by the moderators! 

Its contents might breach the ToS in some way. Hurry up and read it before they remove it! I figure you've got about an hour.


----------



## KenOC

science said:


> best recordings of Shostakovich symphonies


1 (tie) - #4, Kondrashin, Moscow 
1 (tie) - #10, Karajan, Berlin PO (DG digital)
3 - #5, Bernstein, NYPO (his first, 1959)
4 - #8, Solti, Chicago SO
5 - #4, Ormandy, Philadelphia Orch
6 - #13, Kondrashin , Moscow PO (studio premiere)
7 - #15, Ormandy, Philadelphia Orch
8 - #15, Solti, Chicago SO (1997)
9 - #7, Bernstein, Chicago SO
10 - #11, Stokowski, Houston SO


----------



## Blancrocher

**The Snitch Thread**

Hi everybody! This is The Snitch Thread! In this thread, all posts--no matter how apparently innocuous--are to be reported to the mods! When you read this post for example (_if_ you bother reading it), immediately report it to the mods. You can give any reason you like! Say it was "cluttering up the forum," a "breach of copyright," or that it employs politically incorrect slang of a particularly incendiary kind (the word "report," of course, being code for *******). Report posts for mentioning Cage, Shostakovich, atonality, or violas--it's up to you! Not many members of the forum will read these reports, but I'm sure they'll appreciate our efforts. Enjoy!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Blancrocher said:


> **The Snitch Thread**
> 
> Hi everybody! This is The Snitch Thread! In this thread, all posts--no matter how apparently innocuous--are to be reported to the mods! When you read this post for example (_if_ you bother reading it), immediately report it to the mods. You can give any reason you like! Say it was "cluttering up the forum," a "breach of copyright," or that it employs politically incorrect slang of a particularly incendiary kind (the word "report," of course, being code for *******). * Report posts for mentioning Cage, Shostakovich, atonality, or violas--it's up to you*! Not many members of the forum will read these reports, but I'm sure they'll appreciate our efforts. Enjoy!


Look! You just mentioned all four! *Ban him, mods!*


----------



## TresPicos

TresPicos said:


> This post has not yet been reviewed by the moderators!
> 
> Its contents might breach the ToS in some way. Hurry up and read it before they remove it! I figure you've got about an hour.


Okay, so now I've been contacted by the moderators. Apparently, this was a stupid post idea, not a stupid thread idea. And since this is the second time in five years that I've been slightly off topic, I will be temporarily banned for a month, starting any time now.

This means I will have to use my other TC account, SietePicos, for a while. I've still got some time before they temporarily close the TresPicos account, so I just want to take the opportunity to say that it's


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Increasingly Tight Restrictions Thread*
Innnn thiss thred yoouu cannn onnly uuuse fiive leter words. Baddd splng iisss quite cptbl. 
Allso, nnooo Rsian cmpsr cannn beeee mtned. Sssoo noooo Tchkv, Shstk, Rmsky-Krskv, orrrr Msrgk.
Anndd nnnoo moore thann twwoo vwels perrr worde.
cptls aarre allso baned.
anndd pnctn offff annny kinde
sinceeverywordeiisssfivveletrslongennnoospceswilllbbbeeneded (apparently I can't have more than 50 letters in a row...)
nnnnnvwlls
rrrrrtthhhlttrrthhttcmmmsffttrrrrr
nnjjyyyyrrncphs
tthsssssssgrrttthrrd


----------



## Guest

Where do you buy your CDs by composers you don't normally like?


----------



## Guest

Dreadful videos to bring on the misery.


----------



## Guest

Mod bait thread.

Well, girls?


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: Let's form sentences with likes

Atonal, music, sux liked this post


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Okay, so now I've been contacted by the moderators. Apparently, this was a stupid post idea, not a stupid thread idea. And since this is the second time in five years that I've been slightly off topic, I will be temporarily banned for a month, starting any time now.
> 
> This means I will have to use my other TC account, SietePicos, for a while. I've still got some time before they temporarily close the TresPicos account, so I just want to take the opportunity to say that it's


If you had made your second slightly off-topic post slightly earlier (4 years and 11 months) you would have been promoted to Super Moderator instead. Read the ToS, you fool!


----------



## Dim7

Poll: This is a poll.


No sh** Sherlock
What's the question?


----------



## Dim7

Ok, so I just heard about concept called "enharmonic modulation". Did I get this right: it's when composers "modulate" to the same key the piece already is in, but notated differently, like from C major to B# major, just to be confusing/annoying?


----------



## Celloman

*The Minimalism Thread*

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.........................................hi


----------



## millionrainbows

Music theory: *A waltz* is a 4/4 with one of its rear legs missing.


----------



## Dim7

*The Incoherent Question Thread*

So I was bicycling the other day while listening to a classical symphony, and there was this thing in this movement, where the violins do something, but on the other hand they are not but I don't really get it so what is the thing really here it's like really total in some ways but rather kinda confusing which reminds me about that Simpsons episode not the music though but the moment in somewhere like WTF???? but symphony and simpson is not really the point here I mean the poliitcs and philosophy and when you have to wash dishes like that you know don't you know. So what's that?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Is Miley Cyrus Classical?

The Great Composers: A Closer Look at their Silverware

Random Babbling: A Fun Game

New Moderator Announcement: Since we have given out no infraction points for 6 months, every forum member will be given moderator status a a reward.


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> So I was bicycling the other day while listening to a classical symphony, and there was this thing in this movement, where the violins do something, but on the other hand they are not but I don't really get it so what is the thing really here it's like really total in some ways but rather kinda confusing which reminds me about that Simpsons episode not the music though but the moment in somewhere like WTF???? but symphony and simpson is not really the point here I mean the poliitcs and philosophy and when you have to wash dishes like that you know don't you know. So what's that?


20 Classical Pieces to Crash your Bike into the Wall to as an Accompaniment.


----------



## Dim7

Albert7 said:


> 20 Classical Pieces to Crash your Bike into the Wall to as an Accompaniment.


Wow... a comprehensible STI by Albert7.


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Wow... a comprehensible STI by Albert7.


No problem... some days are more coherent than others.

Drinking Songs Based on a Chorale of Bach Using the Clanging on Beer Steins.


----------



## Dim7

Albert7 said:


> No problem... some days are more coherent than others.
> 
> Drinking Songs Based on a Chorale of Bach Using the Clanging on Beer Steins.


Some dating advice for you (I'm otherwise completely incompetent in this regard but trust me, this will work): use your STI methods for pickup lines. Just start the conversation immediately by "Mahler dances polka from the ceiling upside down while Stalin provides janitorial services for him."


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Some dating advice for you (I'm otherwise completely incompetent in this regard but trust me, this will work): use your STI methods for pickup lines. Just start the conversation immediately by "Mahler dances polka from the ceiling upside down while Stalin provides janitorial services for him."


LOL. 15 Bach Songs for Pick-up Lines off Your iPhone Speaker to Attract Ladies to your Personal Cause.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*STI, as arranged by Webern*

........................................ atonal

recommend 
.................................................................4'33''
.
......i'm new here ..........................poll:

..................the ____ thread


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> *STI, as arranged by Webern*
> 
> ........................................ atonal
> 
> recommend
> .................................................................4'33''
> .
> ......i'm new here ..........................poll:
> 
> ..................the ____ thread


Too flowery by far.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *STI, as arranged by Webern*
> 
> ........................................ atonal
> 
> recommend
> .................................................................4'33''
> .
> ......i'm new here ..........................poll:
> 
> ..................the ____ thread


Nice concrete poetry there man. Props to that random chance musical number.


----------



## Blancrocher

First- and last-time poster, here. I'm visiting from another music forum (which your moderators wisely won't allow me to mention, since most of the traffic here would disappear overnight) to express my disgust with this site. Do you realize that we used to consider you all to be competition? That we even--though not everyone would admit this--kind of admired you? We always strove to make our site more comprehensive, informative, and entertaining--and having Talk Classical just around the corner was a constant push to make us better. It was a productive rivalry. 

But how the mighty have fallen! Do you realize that Stupid Thread Ideas is now on page 302?! Has it come to this?! What's worse, do you realize that the sister thread, Intelligent Thread Ideas, only has two follow-up posts from months ago: one a link to a fashion site, and another by Dim7 that says "whoops, wrong thread--post deleted"? 

You people are pathetic! It's painful to see a once-worthy adversary behaving like this!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Minimalist Thread*
i i I in i I in In w i i In Wh I whi i in in In wh in wh i i Whic I w in In whi whic I in in I which in whi in I which In which w which we in we wh I whi in we in which d in I in wh we in d in d we di which in we d I dis whic w i In di in disc we w w w I in In discu we in I dis we discuss I in we which discuss in in In we I whi we di we whi In m i In we di mi th wh In i w discuss m w In we in discus min which w which In mini discuss mi w In whic in I we minim m m we In discu mi we I In minim wh minima discuss we In which I I i in In we dis mini we minimal which we w w I mi discuss dis di di d d I mi min mini dis dicuss minimali w wh wh wh i In mini discu minimalis which discuss discus discu disc dis di d d d d d d minim discuss minimal we w we we minimalism i in I In w wh whi whic which whic whi wh w we w d di dis disc discu discus discuss discus discu disc dis di d m mi min mini minim minima minimal minimali minimalis minimalism minimalis minimali minima minim mini min mi m


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Are you familiar with this Uncyclopedia entry, MS?


----------



## Guest

Iannis Xenakis is commonly recognised as one of the greatest 20th Century composers. How much do you agree with how great he is - simply great or simply the greatest? Or are you of the erroneous opinion that he is not-great?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Mahler dances polka from the ceiling upside down while Stalin provides janitorial services for him.


mmm hello big boy :wave:


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Iannis Xenakis is commonly recognised as one of the greatest 20th Century composers. How much do you agree with how great he is - simply great or simply the greatest? Or are you of the erroneous opinion that he is not-great?


Is he the guy who played for Anthony Quinn in Zorba the Geek.


----------



## Guest

Polyphemus said:


> Is he the guy who played for Anthony Quinn in Zorba the Geek.


That's him.


................


----------



## Guest

Poll:

There are (of course) no - nor have there ever been, nor will there ever will be - Russian composers who are gay.

Agree or be wrong.


----------



## Celloman

Poll:

Is Shostakovich the greatest composer who ever lived, or is he the most detestable abhorrence in music history?

A. He's the _greatest_ composer who ever lived - duh!!! Next to him, Beethoven sucks!
B. He was absolutely _horrid_, the worst composer of all time - I never want to hear his name mentioned _again_.


----------



## Morimur

dogen said:


> Poll:
> 
> There are (of course) no - nor have there ever been, nor will there ever will be - any Russian composers who are gay.
> 
> Agree or be wrong.


Really? What about Ike Turner?


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The Minimalist Thread*
> i i I in i I in In w i i In Wh I whi i in in In wh in wh i i Whic I w in In whi whic I in in I which in whi in I which In which w which we in we wh I whi in we in which d in I in wh we in d in d we di which in we d I dis whic w i In di in disc we w w w I in In discu we in I dis we discuss I in we which discuss in in In we I whi we di we whi In m i In we di mi th wh In i w discuss m w In we in discus min which w which In mini discuss mi w In whic in I we minim m m we In discu mi we I In minim wh minima discuss we In which I I i in In we dis mini we minimal which we w w I mi discuss dis di di d d I mi min mini dis dicuss minimali w wh wh wh i In mini discu minimalis which discuss discus discu disc dis di d d d d d d minim discuss minimal we w we we minimalism i in I In w wh whi whic which whic whi wh w we w d di dis disc discu discus discuss discus discu disc dis di d m mi min mini minim minima minimal minimali minimalis minimalism minimalis minimali minima minim mini min mi m


The 'process' in this posting is visible, apparent, and comprehensible...unlike those serial and atonal postings where the process is completely hidden, and incomprehensible.


----------



## millionrainbows

dogen said:


> Iannis Xenakis is commonly recognised as one of the greatest 20th Century composers. How much do you agree with how great he is - simply great or simply the greatest? Or are you of the erroneous opinion that he is not-great?


He is definitely one of the greatest translators of mathematical concepts into musical ideas...and he's got the battle scars to prove it!


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> First- and last-time poster, here. I'm visiting from another music forum (which your moderators wisely won't allow me to mention, since most of the traffic here would disappear overnight) to express my disgust with this site. Do you realize that we used to consider you all to be competition? That we even--though not everyone would admit this--kind of admired you? We always strove to make our site more comprehensive, informative, and entertaining--and having Talk Classical just around the corner was a constant push to make us better. It was a productive rivalry.
> 
> But how the mighty have fallen! *Do you realize that Stupid Thread Ideas is now on page 302?!* Has it come to this?! What's worse, do you realize that the sister thread, Intelligent Thread Ideas, only has two follow-up posts from months ago: one a link to a fashion site, and another by Dim7 that says "whoops, wrong thread--post deleted"?
> 
> You people are pathetic! It's painful to see a once-worthy adversary behaving like this!!


No worries, that was just temporary - STI is on page 303 now.


----------



## Dim7

*Could anyone mystify this piece?*

You know, the famous duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuuuh - Beethoven's 5th symphony. I'm so bored of knowing the piece's identity - could anyone convince to me that it is not in fact by Beethoven nor is it anyone's 5th symphony nor is it a symphony to begin with? Make me believe that there's a lot of doubt about its author, perhaps several possible composers who could have maybe composed it, but nothing too certain.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Announcement*

The "Classical Music Discussion" forum is closed due to inactivity.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> You know, the famous duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuuuh - Beethoven's 5th symphony. I'm so bored of knowing the piece's identity - could anyone convince to me that it is not in fact by Beethoven nor is it anyone's 5th symphony nor is it a symphony to begin with? Make me believe that there's a lot of doubt about its author, perhaps several possible composers who could have maybe composed it, but nothing too certain.


There is scholarly debate over this: was it actually Shakespeare? And was the stone rolled aside by natural events, such as an earthquake? The original manuscript was actually found in a field though.


----------



## Polyphemus

MoonlightSonata said:


> The "Classical Music Discussion" forum is closed due to inactivity.


Who the Hell woke me up?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> The "Classical Music Discussion" forum is closed due to inactivity.


Damn, I was going to have a look at that.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> You know, the famous duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuuuh - Beethoven's 5th symphony. I'm so bored of knowing the piece's identity - could anyone convince to me that it is not in fact by Beethoven nor is it anyone's 5th symphony nor is it a symphony to begin with? Make me believe that there's a lot of doubt about its author, perhaps several possible composers who could have maybe composed it, but nothing too certain.


You're in luck, actually. Some scholars argue that Beethoven in fact ripped it from the fifth movement of Bartok's fifth string quartet (it's really obvious at about 1:10 into the piece):






Fifth string quartet, fifth movement... Fifth symphony! Not a coincidence...


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> You know, the famous duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuuuh - Beethoven's 5th symphony. I'm so bored of knowing the piece's identity - could anyone convince to me that it is not in fact by Beethoven nor is it anyone's 5th symphony nor is it a symphony to begin with? Make me believe that there's a lot of doubt about its author, perhaps several possible composers who could have maybe composed it, but nothing too certain.


Id like to clear this up for once and for all. In fact it was NOT duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuuuh, rather it was dah-dah-dah-daaaaaaaah. The error occurred as a result of LVB's increasing deafness, Others have claimed the distortion was the result of a build up of ear wax in the great man's lug holes. 
Glad to have cast some light on this.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> You're in luck, actually. Some scholars argue that Beethoven in fact ripped it from the fifth movement of Bartok's fifth string quartet (it's really obvious at about 1:10 into the piece):
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Fifth string quartet, fifth movement... Fifth symphony! Not a coincidence...


By Beethoven I assume you mean the unknown composer who was assumed to be Beethoven but is now known to certainly not have been Beethoven - assuming that the piece was composed by anyone to begin with, as opposed to say formed by ink spilled by the wind.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> By Beethoven I assume you mean the unknown composer who was assumed to be Beethoven but is now known to certainly not have been Beethoven - assuming that the piece was composed by anyone to begin with, as opposed to say formed by ink spilled by the wind.


What about magical self-writing ink? You just have to sacrifice a member of parliament to get some.


----------



## Polyphemus

MoonlightSonata said:


> What about magical self-writing ink? You just have to sacrifice a member of parliament to get some.


Sorry Moonlight but that is posted in the wrong thread. It would be far better to develop an MP vanishing ink and get rid of the lot of them. Things can only get better. Talking about both sides of the Irish Sea.
Stupid Ideas thread never, pure genius Moonlight.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> By Beethoven I assume you mean the unknown composer who was assumed to be Beethoven but is now known to certainly not have been Beethoven - assuming that the piece was composed by anyone to begin with, as opposed to say formed by ink spilled by the wind.


The same scholars argue that Beethoven probably hummed the theme he ripped from Bartok in company of some composer friend at a time when they were both really drunk, and that this unknown composer then went home and wrote the famous symphony, and when Beethoven found out, he went postal and coerced his colleague to hand over the score and keep his mouth shut about the whole thing.

This is most likely why the 5th and 6th symphonies were premiered at the same concert! The symphonies were written during the same time period, but only one of them by Beethoven!


----------



## Dim7

In place of the low-activity and dry "Music Theory" subforum, I suggest a new subforum, "Conspiracy Theory". I think we could move these threads to the new subforum:

Who killed music?

What is the organization behind the suppression of beautiful tonal music composed in 20th & 21th centuries?

Are Krummhorn & Friederik Magle in fact aliens or just bots?

Is TC in fact just one big farce set up by my other personalities to trick me to believe I'm discussing with other people?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Enough with the intelligent conversation about form, thematic/cyclic unity, and all that jazz. What I wanna know is, would Mahler's dad have been to able to beat up Shostakovich's dad in a fight? 

Discuss at length, please.


----------



## Albert7

I think Beethoven, therefore I Mozart.


----------



## Albert7

This post is self-referential... Special K cereal box with Liszt sculpture in it.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*"Stepping Stones" suggestion*

_Stepping Stones_ is an interesting thread, but lacks excitement. To remedy this, I suggest that for three randomly selected days a week _Stepping Stones_ should become _Land Mines_ and ban any member who mentions any of the following works:

any Cage work
works with oboes in them
Shostakovich
anything atonal
Beethoven
chamber works
anything in D minor, E flat major or C minor

Members would be obliged to make at least two posts per day. If a user cites a work which would get them banned in _Land Mines_ on a _Stepping Stones_ day, they receive moderator status for a week.


----------



## Albert7

Beethoven busts featured on a new pajama line designed by Jennifer Lopez.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> In place of the low-activity and dry "Music Theory" subforum, I suggest a new subforum, "Conspiracy Theory". I think we could move these threads to the new subforum:
> 
> Who killed music?
> 
> What is the organization behind the suppression of beautiful tonal music composed in 20th & 21th centuries?
> 
> Are Krummhorn & Friederik Magle in fact aliens or just bots?
> 
> Is TC in fact just one big farce set up by my other personalities to trick me to believe I'm discussing with other people?


Move this thread as well:

Has SimonNZ done a secret deal with Albert7: Albert7 posts something random and nonsensical just that SimonNZ can scold him for that and receive automatical likes from Dim7, MoonlightSonata and AdmiralSilver?


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: Let's form two teams, who argue both for the exact same position, but keep strawmanning the other team for having the exact opposite position


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Fun Game: Let's form two teams, who argue both for the exact same position, but keep strawmanning the other team for having the exact opposite position


I thought this is the case already


----------



## Dim7

Albert7 said:


> This post is self-referential... Special K cereal box with Liszt sculpture in it.





Albert7 said:


> Beethoven busts featured on a new pajama line designed by Jennifer Lopez.


Y'know, randomness can be funny in a some (non-random) contexts, but when you post hundreds of sentences of total arbitrariness it's basically just spam. More something like this:



Albert7 said:


> 20 Classical Pieces to Crash your Bike into the Wall to as an Accompaniment.





Albert7 said:


> Vivaldi's fifth season... the rediscovered manuscript.


Like something with A JOKE, if you know what I mean.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> You know, the famous duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuuuh - Beethoven's 5th symphony. I'm so bored of knowing the piece's identity - could anyone convince to me that it is not in fact by Beethoven nor is it anyone's 5th symphony nor is it a symphony to begin with? Make me believe that there's a lot of doubt about its author, perhaps several possible composers who could have maybe composed it, but nothing too certain.


Concerning the duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuuuh subject, I've always been mystified as to: where is one? Is it _*DUH*_-duh-duh-duuuuuuuuh, or duh-duh-duh-*DUUUUUUUUH?*


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Sousa: Meat or _Threni_?

Advice on finding female fiends

The last thing that ate you?

Currant Listening: Pay very close attention to currants, and when they make a noise, eat them.

What was the last film that watched you?


----------



## Dim7

In Today's Composers:

Hi, I'm a composer and I've realized that these days people prefer compositions with names rather than just dry titles like "Concerto in A minor". So I came up with these symphonies (mp3s attached) with these nicknames, what do you think:

Symphony no. 1 'Mundane'
Symphony no. 2 'Flat Gray Surface' (inspired by thus named painting by a banalist painter John Brown)
Symphony no. 3 'Apathy'
Symphony no. 4 'Pedantic'
Symphony no. 5 'Filling Forms'
Symphony no. 6 'Taking the garbage'
Symphony no. 7 'Spellchecking'
Symphony no. 8 'Data entry'
Symphony no. 9 'Chore symphony'


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Advice on finding female fiends


Redundant.............


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me music that makes you want to buy meat

Recommend me symphony like Pathetic Sonata

Recommend me chamber music like _I am sitting in a room_


----------



## Celloman

*TalkClassical's Top Post-1950 Works #20-29*

20. Stravinsky: Serial music or serial killer? Maybe both.

21. Stockhausen: Did I listen to a bad recording? The conductor tried really hard, but he just couldn't get the musicians to play together. That's a pity.

22. Shostakovich: That cellist sure is selfish. Basically a long cadenza with a little bit of concerto sprinkled on top.

23. Stockhausen: Why did he put the name of this piece in ALL CAPS? Was it because he felt insecure about the music he had written and wanted to make himself believe it was good? I'll bet that it sucks, but I haven't listened to it, so I wouldn't be able to tell you.

24. Part: The first two or three seconds were interesting. Pretty boring after that.

25. Carter: Well, here's another example of artistic insecurity. Carter is afraid that one orchestra won't get his point across, so he uses *three*. What a big baby.

26. Schnittke: Pretty weird stuff. In the second movement, we get two one-legged people trying to waltz.

27. Boulez: Should have stayed with conducting. He must have been really angry when he wrote this.

28. Xenakis: It's all Greek to me.

29. Glass: Five hours of this repetitive, brainless muck? If I was a zombie I might enjoy it.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> 28. Xenakis: It's all Greek to me.


:lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> *TalkClassical's Top Post-1950 Works #20-29*
> 
> 20. Stravinsky: Serial music or serial killer? Maybe both.
> 
> 21. Stockhausen: Did I listen to a bad recording? The conductor tried really hard, but he just couldn't get the musicians to play together. That's a pity.
> 
> 22. Shostakovich: That cellist sure is selfish. Basically a long cadenza with a little bit of concerto sprinkled on top.
> 
> 23. Stockhausen: Why did he put the name of this piece in ALL CAPS? Was it because he felt insecure about the music he had written and wanted to make himself believe it was good? I'll bet that it sucks, but I haven't listened to it, so I wouldn't be able to tell you.
> 
> 24. Part: The first two or three seconds were interesting. Pretty boring after that.
> 
> 25. Carter: Well, here's another example of artistic insecurity. Carter is afraid that one orchestra won't get his point across, so he uses *three*. What a big baby.
> 
> 26. Schnittke: Pretty weird stuff. In the second movement, we get two one-legged people trying to waltz.
> 
> 27. Boulez: Should have stayed with conducting. He must have been really angry when he wrote this.
> 
> 28. Xenakis: It's all Greek to me.
> 
> 29. Glass: Five hours of this repetitive, brainless muck? If I was a zombie I might enjoy it.


More like Xenakis: It's all geek to me.


----------



## regenmusic

My next symphony will revolutionalize the orchestra. It will have the first orchestral banjo section.


----------



## Albert7

All stupidity will be on hiatus here for the next 2 hours.

Now for the smart-butt posts >


----------



## MoonlightSonata

regenmusic said:


> My next symphony will revolutionalize the orchestra. It will have the first orchestral banjo section.


Ha, that's nothing. Mine will have a whole conductor section. I will call it the "Symphony of Ego".


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Ha, that's nothing. Mine will have a whole conductor section. I will call it the "Symphony of Ego".


Leggo My Eggo Symphony... a flat symphony for three pancakes.


----------



## Blancrocher

**Hypothetical Listening**

Hi Everybody! This is the Hypothetical Listening thread! It's for those who, for whatever reason, don't want to participate in the Current Listening thread. Do you have a small cd collection, a bad internet connection, moral scruples against listening to youtube, or just flat-out hate music? Well this thread's for you! Just post music that you _might_ be currently listening to but aren't in actual fact. The only rule is that you've got to simulate a possible experience. If you're "listening" to Beethoven's 9th, I don't want you posting about Chopin's Ballades 10 minutes later. If you say you're listening to Feldman's 2nd String Quartet, you're gone for 5-6 hours. If you say you're listening to something, make sure you give yourself enough time to listen to it (unlike those b******s in the _actual_ Current Listening thread).

I'll start:









I'm hypothetically listening to Richard Egarr and the Academy of Ancient Music performing Handel's trio sonatas, op. 2 and 5.


----------



## Albert7

Blancrocher said:


> **Hypothetical Listening**
> 
> Hi Everybody! This is the Hypothetical Listening thread! It's for those who, for whatever reason, don't want to participate in the Current Listening thread. Do you have a small cd collection, a bad internet connection, moral scruples against listening to youtube, or just flat-out hate music? Well this thread's for you! Just post music that you _might_ be currently listening to but aren't in actual fact. The only rule is that you've got to simulate a possible experience. If you're "listening" to Beethoven's 9th, I don't want you posting about Chopin's Ballades 10 minutes later. If you say you're listening to Feldman's 2nd String Quartet, you're gone for 5-6 hours. If you say you're listening to something, make sure you give yourself enough time to listen to it (unlike those b******s in the _actual_ Current Listening thread).
> 
> I'll start:
> 
> View attachment 68717
> 
> 
> I'm hypothetically listening to Richard Egarr and the Academy of Ancient Music performing Handel's trio sonatas, op. 2 and 5.


I could commit fraud and list works that I pretended to hear. That may work well.

What about a rating system for STI ideas?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Blancrocher said:


> **Hypothetical Listening**
> 
> Hi Everybody! This is the Hypothetical Listening thread! It's for those who, for whatever reason, don't want to participate in the Current Listening thread. Do you have a small cd collection, a bad internet connection, moral scruples against listening to youtube, or just flat-out hate music? Well this thread's for you! Just post music that you _might_ be currently listening to but aren't in actual fact. The only rule is that you've got to simulate a possible experience. If you're "listening" to Beethoven's 9th, I don't want you posting about Chopin's Ballades 10 minutes later. If you say you're listening to Feldman's 2nd String Quartet, you're gone for 5-6 hours. If you say you're listening to something, make sure you give yourself enough time to listen to it (unlike those b******s in the _actual_ Current Listening thread).
> 
> I'll start:
> 
> View attachment 68717
> 
> 
> I'm hypothetically listening to Richard Egarr and the Academy of Ancient Music performing Handel's trio sonatas, op. 2 and 5.


How about this?
Somebody writes something like:


> I am listening to _either_ Beethoven's 7th Symphony _or_ Bach's choral works _or_ Mozart's 10th Symphony _or_ 4'33''.


There would then be a competition to guess which one they were actually listening to. The winner would receive a "like".


----------



## MoonlightSonata

--oops, another double post--


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> --oops, another double post--


Well, is it though?

I've looked through the whole thread now, and I can't find any post like this one. Is your duplicate post in another thread, perhaps? If so, which one? I want to read it.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> Well, is it though?
> 
> I've looked through the whole thread now, and I can't find any post like this one. Is your duplicate post in another thread, perhaps? If so, which one? I want to read it.


I won't post the other duplicate until 2018.


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> I won't post the other duplicate until 2018.


Aah, I see. Then I have two reasons to stick around here at TC: this thread and that post.

Could you perhaps PM me in 2018 when you post the duplicate post? I'm very curious about it.


----------



## Albert7

TresPicos said:


> Aah, I see. Then I have two reasons to stick around here at TC: this thread and that post.
> 
> Could you perhaps PM me in 2018 when you post the duplicate post? I'm very curious about it.


We could pursue a triplicate post if needs be.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> We could pursue a triplicate post if needs be.


Actually, I made a triplicate post recently, on that over/under thread.
Two of the posts have since been deleted by a thoughtful mod.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> **Hypothetical Listening**
> 
> Hi Everybody! This is the Hypothetical Listening thread! It's for those who, for whatever reason, don't want to participate in the Current Listening thread. Do you have a small cd collection, a bad internet connection, moral scruples against listening to youtube, or just flat-out hate music? Well this thread's for you! Just post music that you _might_ be currently listening to but aren't in actual fact. The only rule is that you've got to simulate a possible experience. If you're "listening" to Beethoven's 9th, I don't want you posting about Chopin's Ballades 10 minutes later. If you say you're listening to Feldman's 2nd String Quartet, you're gone for 5-6 hours. If you say you're listening to something, make sure you give yourself enough time to listen to it (unlike those b******s in the _actual_ Current Listening thread).
> 
> I'll start:
> 
> View attachment 68717
> 
> 
> I'm hypothetically listening to Richard Egarr and the Academy of Ancient Music performing Handel's trio sonatas, op. 2 and 5.


I'm hypothetically listening to Helen Grime's string quartet. Pending an actual recording, you see.


----------



## Guest

Current listening:
ASLSP by Cage (organ recital, St. Burchardi church).


----------



## Guest

Current listening:
Minute Waltz by Chopin.


----------



## Celloman

Current listening:
Beethoven - Concerto for Space-Continuum Orchestra and Fusion Guitar (3743)

A bit quark-heavy, but still pretty good.


----------



## omega

The Current Non-Listening Thread.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> In Today's Composers:
> 
> Hi, I'm a composer and I've realized that these days people prefer compositions with names rather than just dry titles like "Concerto in A minor". So I came up with these symphonies (mp3s attached) with these nicknames, what do you think:
> 
> Symphony no. 1 'Mundane'
> Symphony no. 2 'Flat Gray Surface' (inspired by thus named painting by a banalist painter John Brown)
> Symphony no. 3 'Apathy'
> Symphony no. 4 'Pedantic'
> Symphony no. 5 'Filling Forms'
> Symphony no. 6 'Taking the garbage'
> Symphony no. 7 'Spellchecking'
> Symphony no. 8 'Data entry'
> Symphony no. 9 'Chore symphony'


Oops, it's supposed to be Symphony no. 3 'Taking out the garbage' and Symphony no. 6 'Apathetic'


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Currently Ignoring: Post the names of people you are currently ignoring.


----------



## Dim7

Still no new STIs after my last post? You guys are so slow these days....


----------



## MoonlightSonata

No STIs after this post (#4589)? Honestly, what happened to time travel?


----------



## millionrainbows

Shostakovich: Pogrom music.


----------



## Celloman

millionrainbows said:


> Shostakovich: Pogrom music.


That is just wrong.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Correctly Rated and Very Slightly Over-Underrated on a Tandem


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Very Slightly Over-Underrated


I presume this means "causes just a tiny little bit too polarized reactions".


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> I presume this means "causes just a tiny little bit too polarized reactions".


No, it means that the composer has tried too hard not to derrate it, so it's too un-derrated.


----------



## Guest

TC Top Recommended Post-1950 Works by Kurtag


----------



## Dim7

Underhated works: post pieces that are widely agreed to be of poor quality but which still are not hated enough in your opinion


----------



## Ingélou

Poll: Which is the best way to introduce 4'33" to a thread - obliquely, blatantly, or downright abusively?

Musical Representations of the Proverb 'When the cat's away, the mice will play'?

Where do you stand in the queue of Bach-lovers? Choose between these options: Bachissimus - Simply Bach - Quasi-Bach - Neo-Quasi-Bach - Non-Bach - PostBach - Post Post Bach - Pre-Bach - Hyper-Bacchanalia.


----------



## MagneticGhost

Ingélou said:


> Where do you stand in the queue of Bach-lovers? Choose between these options: Bachissimus - Simply Bach - Quasi-Bach - Neo-Quasi-Bach - Non-Bach - PostBach - Post Post Bach - Pre-Bach - Hyper-Bacchanalia.


That's simply too good not to post as a Poll in the main thread. :lol:


----------



## Celloman

Do you think Shostakovich was:

A. the devil
B. severely overrated
C. strongly overrated
D. moderately overrated
E. slightly overrated
F. treated just right (Don't even think about voting for this one, you coward! )
G. slightly underrated
H. moderately underrated
I. strongly underrated
J. severely underrated
K. God


----------



## Dim7

Celloman said:


> Do you think Shostakovich was:
> 
> A. the devil
> B. severely overrated
> C. strongly overrated
> D. moderately overrated
> E. slightly overrated
> F. treated just right (Don't even think about voting for this one, you coward! )
> G. slightly underrated
> H. moderately underrated
> I. strongly underrated
> J. severely underrated
> K. God


Strange poll... I'll just choose one of the questions without answering it


----------



## Guest

Celloman said:


> Do you think Shostakovich was:
> 
> A. the devil
> B. severely overrated
> C. strongly overrated
> D. moderately overrated
> E. slightly overrated
> F. treated just right (Don't even think about voting for this one, you coward! )
> G. slightly underrated
> H. moderately underrated
> I. strongly underrated
> J. severely underrated
> K. God


Can we vote for more than one in this poll? - I vote A and K.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Arnold Schoenberg: Hogwash, Opus 20 (1911) *for high soprano, celesta, harmonium, and harp.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Question an Answer with an Answer


----------



## MagneticGhost

Answer a Question with an Answer


----------



## Dim7

Answer a Question with a Quest:

"Do dragons exist?"
"Thou shalt slay a mighty dragon and the kingdom will be yours."


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Announcing our new sister website: TalkSurrealism!*
_With the wonderful threads:_

Current Straw
Sensible Thread Ideas
Answer a Question with a Jellyfish
Musical Word Adoration
Should we mince the number of clocks per hour an otter can smile?
Who is licking my visitors?


----------



## Balthazar

^^^ I nominate this for the STI Top 10,000 Posts of 2015


----------



## Ingélou

You can tell us about your music sublime - but it's not allowed unless your posts rhyme.
Your favourite composer for better or worse - but only if you can write it in verse.
(This rhyming idea came from Moonlight Sonata - award him the honour of being its starter.)
So what's the best music & how do you know it? But don't bother posting unless you're a poet.


----------



## Mahlerian

But what if my rhymes make them sick?
My poetry lays 'pon too thick?
The last time they sued
So that I won't do
No, better to write a limerick.


----------



## CBD

Using it to rock climb.
Using it to floss.
Using it to stop a train.
Using it as a tightrope.
Using it to replace paper.
Making it out of moss.
Trying to pass it off as rope or yarn.
...


----------



## millionrainbows

There once was a fellow named Ludwig
Who purchased at market a good pig
The hoofer inspired him
And he started writing
His Symphony known as the "Swinth"


----------



## millionrainbows

There once was a German named Arnold
Who, increasingly tired of that darn old
Hierarchy called tonal
Wrote music atonal
We stored it outside, growing barn mold.


----------



## millionrainbows

There once was a dude name'o Bach
Who churned out great reams of this schlock
Or so thought the Church
Now we're left in the lurch
Cause they used it to clean out their wok!


----------



## manyene

There was a composer called Lully
Whose monarch regarded him coolly
One day as he sat working
He was told he was shirking 
And replied, 'You are rather a bully'


----------



## millionrainbows

There was a young composer from Mittersill
Who stared out all day through his window sill
The mountainous peaks
Inspired melodic squeaks
And the legacy is: we all jitter, still.


----------



## millionrainbows

There was a composer named Igor
Who needed some tunes for the dance floor
"I've got it! I'll write
This here ditty called 'Rite'
And start with F sharp on C major!"


----------



## millionrainbows

A modern named Cage sipped his tea
And said "I will write (for a fee)
The most silent of works
Now pay me, you jerks!
And give me my $4.33!"


----------



## millionrainbows

A composer we call Milton Babbitt
Saw a tone row run by, so he grabbed it
By both ears, on its head
Played it backwards instead
And had more fun than chasing those wabbits.


----------



## Dim7

A subforum about the subforum itself. Example threads:

Poll: Your favorite thread of this subforum
Not another self-reference joke for **** sake
Poll: Should we abolish this subforum?
So, uh, what's the point? What's there to discuss?
Pros and cons of this subforum
The history of this subforum


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Hi TC,

I'm interested in performing Morton Feldman's For Philip Guston, but I haven't been able to find such an instrument... where should I look?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Ingélou said:


> You can tell us about your music sublime - but it's not allowed unless your posts rhyme.
> Your favourite composer for better or worse - but only if you can write it in verse.
> (This rhyming idea came from Moonlight Sonata - award him the honour of being its starter.)
> So what's the best music & how do you know it? But don't bother posting unless you're a poet.


I'm tired of finding these beautiful rhymes,
About moonlight, and sunset, and lemons and limes,
So if in this favourite-composer-filled verse
I use dreadful rhymes, please do not call a nurse.

I'm really quite fond of that Wolfgang A. Mozart,
His music is far better than any goat's art,
I'm partial to tunes from the J. S. of Bach,
His many cantatas are good for a lark,
One of my favourite composers is Schnittke,
The concerto grosso is full of much wittke,
And who cannot love the music of Tallis?
His gorgeous works are quite lacking in malice,
Unlike the music of Ludwig van B:
"Barbaric, malevolent" - John Galt, not me!


----------



## TresPicos

millionrainbows said:


> There once was a German named Arnold
> Who, increasingly tired of that darn old
> Hierarchy called tonal
> Wrote music atonal
> We stored it outside, growing barn mold.


Hey, Arnold Schwarzenegger was born in Austria, not Germany!


----------



## science

We did this a few years ago, and you might enjoy some of these:



science said:


> There was once a composer to know
> Whose name you discover below
> But if it's a cinch
> To pronounce your French
> You already guessed it's Milhaud


----------



## Blancrocher

Hi everybody! I just learned that Arnold Schwarzenegger composed atonal music (though, given the person who mentioned it doesn't seem to know what country he was born in, I'm not sure I should trust him). Aaaaaaaaaanyways, before I track down his music, I wondered if we might discuss whether it's ethical to listen to it. What do you think of his politics? In particular, what do you think of his well-publicized comments about Hitler? Do you think these ideas are connected with his adoption of atonal techniques? Do you think he should be the next President of the United States?


----------



## Guest

Suggested "Sticky" for contributing to TC-created Lists (Universal crib list):

Check nominations and seconded for clashes.
Amend points score on "Selected."
Stir and allow to stand for two minutes.
Sort by column A descending.
Set to 3 minutes.
Select all and copy.
Reload thread page with more Shostakovich.
Add +1 to composers with wigs.
Edit number/s if necessary - otherwise select "Beethoven."
Check if list contains 4'33" and remove if found.
Determine which pieces get votes.
Decide if you want to hear or review something.
Correct spelling and maths errors and add side comments if any.
Copy nominated and seconded from last post and paste into Notepad.
Paste into spreadsheet.
Double Click Quick Reply for First Vote, Single Click Quick Reply for Second Vote.
Check whether clash has occurred and everything is in order.
Add votes (if using Proportional Representation).
Add "After so-and-so". Put the cat out.
Press "Defrost".
Paste into Quick Reply and smooth paste with a palette knife.
Look at thread and decide what to vote for and whether listening is required.
Look at last vote and stare off into space.
Load paper.
Hastily update tally (remember last time when you hesitated?).
Go to last post and click Quick Reply (wait 30 seconds)
Press Ctrl, Alt but NOT Delete. (IMPORTANT)
Go back to thread and reload for new posts, votes, amends and corrections.
Investigate that funny smell.
Feel self-satisfied or maybe just a little annoyed.


----------



## Polyphemus

This is indeed true. he composed the "I'll Be Bach Cantata" for multiple semi-automatic weapons and heaps of explosive percussion.


----------



## Polyphemus

There once was a chap called Schoenberg
Who wrote great music it is said.
This successor to Mahler fell on his head.
Could only hear 12 tones
and became a crashing atonal bore.


----------



## Ingélou

I adore b'roque - it's so twiddly - 
Twiddly - diddly - fiddly - 
I adore b'roque - baroque I adore - 
Fiddle de - twiddly - twee - 
More wouldst thou have? Wouldst thou have more?
T is pity, poor thee - thou shalt have none of me.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*One* two *three*
*One* two 
One *two three* 
One *two three*
One *two thee*
*One two three* four


----------



## Albert7

Special q-tips designed to clean out your ears while listening to Mozart on your stereo.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Kissing and petting specially automaton-licensed Easter dust bunnies while having to buy the exact same Wagner recording in West Siberia while simultaneously petting two tigers and one bear.


----------



## Guest

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Kissing and petting specially automaton-licensed Easter dust bunnies while having to buy the exact same Wagner recording in West Siberia while simultaneously petting two tigers and one bear.


My tinnitus is coming back...


----------



## Albert7

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Kissing and petting specially automaton-licensed Easter dust bunnies while having to buy the exact same Wagner recording in West Siberia while simultaneously petting two tigers and one bear.


You may not want to mention this to our resident bear on TC, Lord Lance. Tigers and bears do not mix in his ursine universe. And so based on his idea.

Music for Nero to fiddle by during the Great Fire of 2016. In case you want to know, Lord Lance's prediction for the end of the universe.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Thread titles that you have misread. I'll start.

"Comedians you have killed"


----------



## Guest

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Thread titles that you have misread. I'll start.
> 
> "Comedians you have killed"


Maria Callas! Who?


----------



## Albert7

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Thread titles that you have misread. I'll start.
> 
> "Comedians you have killed"


"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you."

― Oscar Wilde, The Nightingale and the Rose


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Maria Callas! Who?


She's the one who was in King Kong doing all the screaming.


----------



## Ingélou

Humus in music.

Revealing yourself through muscle.

Can you recommend music for a classical nob?

Irritation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Battle of the Violent Sonatas.


----------



## TresPicos

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Thread titles that you have misread. I'll start.
> 
> "Comedians you have killed"


"Stupid threat indeed"


----------



## Polyphemus

Ingélou said:


> Humus in music.
> 
> Revealing yourself through muscle.
> 
> Can you recommend music for a classical nob?
> 
> Irritation is the sincerest form of flattery.
> 
> Battle of the Violent Sonatas.


For Humus read produce of Horse for the roses.

Opera for the classical nobs.

For the battle of the violent sonata have a daisy chain and peace baby, pass that joint.

For irritation see above and below.


----------



## Polyphemus

TresPicos said:


> "Stupid threat indeed"


Yet it does offer some merits.


----------



## Dim7

*Converting people to classical music*

When we try to make people listen to classical music, what do we usually do? Almost invariably we say something like "You should listen to classical music because rock is satanic degenerate music. Classical is better for you because it's much more refined and healthy for the soul." This kind of intolerant aggressive condescension doesn't work!

Much better approach is to first recommend them some classical, and if they tell you that they are not interested, you should say "Ah, I guess you're right, you should stick to popular music. Classical music is difficult, and I'm not sure you have the brai... certain qualities required to comprehend it. For me classical music is great, but you should not force yourself to appreciate something that is too refin... I mean something that is just not your cup of tea." These were the exact words I said to my friends who used to hate classical music, and guess what - they now attend every concert I invite them to! They still have a lot of problems staying awake, but since classical isn't really supposed to be fun in the first place, it's understandable for beginners.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DiesIraeVIX said:


> Thread titles that you have misread. I'll start.
> 
> "Comedians you have killed"


Did Callas lead us into the era of the Gnome?

Shostakovich's String Racquets


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Humour in Music: the "Yellow Bile" symphony


----------



## SimonNZ

Was Maria Callas Actually A Dude In Drag?

_this might, in fact, explain a number of things..._


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> Was Maria Callas Actually A Dude In Drag?
> 
> _this might, in fact, explain a number of things..._


That genius and individuality are irrepressible?


----------



## Albert7

We should create polls in the music thread where no options are given as answers.


----------



## SimonNZ

Marschallin Blair said:


> That genius and individuality are irrepressible?


I've been playing "spot the bulge" with those photos you've been posting, and I could totally see it in that last one.

Nice strapping job, "Divina".


----------



## millionrainbows

Maria Callas was actually a man, trapped in a counter-tenor's body. Is that funny?


----------



## millionrainbows

SimonNZ said:


> I've been playing "spot the bulge" with those photos you've been posting, and I could totally see it in that last one.
> 
> Nice strapping job, "Divina".


Oh, so that's what was meant by 'irrepressible!' I was like that all the way through high school.


----------



## Albert7

millionrainbows said:


> Maria Callas was actually a man, trapped in a counter-tenor's body. Is that funny?


Hmm... wasn't that a film called "Callas, Queen of the Desert?"


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> I've been playing "spot the bulge" with those photos you've been posting, and I could totally see it in that last one.
> 
> Nice strapping job, "Divina".


What kind of a male impersonator would say such a thing? (Pierre Boulez disincluded.)


----------



## SimonNZ

_You know, one of the comments I made on that other thread was that unlike, say, Bach admirers, the Callas brigade wont suffer any fun or mockery - which is part of what makes it seem a religion/worship.

If you're going to go into "how dare you!" mode, then I'm going to have to ask if your irony detector is turned on._


----------



## SimonNZ

millionrainbows said:


> Maria Callas was actually a man, trapped in a counter-tenor's body. Is that funny?


Not trapped in a body, perfectly happy in a soprano's clothing.

(the "funny" I was going for was the anticipation people might expect at the tidal wave of response to this unlikely speculation

...though it does explain why it is that I sound just like her when I sing in the shower: its the Adam's Apple that creates that special timbre)


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> _You know, one of the comments I made on that other thread was that unlike, say, Bach admirers, the Callas brigade wont suffer any fun or mockery - which is part of what makes it seem a religion/worship.
> 
> If you're going to go into "how dare you!" mode, then I'm going to have to ask if your irony detector is turned on._


So untrue- a more selective amnesia can scarcely be imagined.

I started a thread "Pierre Boulez: Spleen King or Drama Queen" in order to allow the Boulez Cult to make fun of their Lord and Savior 'Poisonous Hunckbacked Toad'- when he said such howlers like opera houses should be burnt down; or that he wouldn't spit on John Adams but that he'd spit on his music.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/...erre-Boulez-I-was-a-bully-Im-not-ashamed.html

- and the Kool Aid drinkers came out in force with the _ad hominem_ attacks and choking vitriolic rage- in fact, I believe that no less than six or seven pages were deleted by a TC moderator over the temper tantrums.

All because someone quoted Boulez in his own catechismic words.


----------



## Guest

Marschallin Blair said:


> So untrue- a more selective amnesia can scarcely be imagined.
> 
> I started a thread "Pierre Boulez: Spleen King or Drama Queen" in order to allow the Boulez Cult to make fun of their Lord and Savior 'Poisonous Hunckbacked Toad'- when he said such howlers like opera houses should be burnt down; or that he wouldn't spit on John Adams but that he'd spit on his music.
> 
> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/...erre-Boulez-I-was-a-bully-Im-not-ashamed.html
> 
> - and the Kool Aid drinkers came out in force with the _ad hominem_ attacks and choking vitriolic rage- in fact, I believe that no less than six or seven pages were deleted by a TC moderator over the temper tantrums.
> 
> All because someone quoted Boulez in his own catechismic words.


Well, admittedly Simon just posted a "Stupid Thread Idea" rather than actually starting a thread and fanning the flames for days on end.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

nathanb said:


> Well, admittedly Simon just posted a "Stupid Thread Idea" rather than actually starting a thread and fanning the flames for days on end.


How 'simple' of Simon to do so. . . . . . . 'admittedly.'


----------



## SimonNZ

Marschallin Blair said:


> So untrue- a more selective amnesia can scarcely be imagined.
> 
> I started a thread "Pierre Boulez: Spleen King or Drama Queen" in order to allow the Boulez Cult to make fun of their Lord and Savior 'Poisonous Hunckbacked Toad'- when he said such howlers like opera houses should be burnt down; or that he wouldn't spit on John Adams but that he'd spit on his music.
> 
> http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/...erre-Boulez-I-was-a-bully-Im-not-ashamed.html
> 
> - and the Kool Aid drinkers came out in force with the _ad hominem_ attacks and choking vitriolic rage- in fact, I believe that no less than six or seven pages were deleted by a TC moderator over the temper tantrums.
> 
> All because someone quoted Boulez in his own catechismic words.


That one failed because it didn't seem at all good-natured. I think people could tell that you meant it sincerely.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> _That one failed because it didn't seem at all good-natured. I think people could tell that you meant it sincerely._


If anyone knows epic failure its certainly you, Simon: 'Best In Show' all the way.


----------



## SimonNZ

(eyroll) c'mon...you can do better than those last two


Am I going to get infraction points for saying Maria Callas had a willy?

Because he totally did.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> (eyroll) c'mon...you can do better than those last two
> 
> Am I going to get infraction points for saying Maria Callas had a willy?
> 
> Because he totally did.


I wouldn't exactly call 'hemmhoraging IQ points' 'racking up infraction points.'


----------



## KenOC

Marschallin Blair said:


> I wouldn't exactly call 'hemmhoraging IQ points' 'racking up infraction points.'


If you spelled that right, you get bonus points, offsetting future penalty points. The mods are huddling now, consulting their dictionaries.

But be careful with the sexual stuff. I had a post deleted today for an innocent limerick about Schoenberg.


----------



## Guest

Poll: If the Marschallin's reality were actually *the* reality, and I posted large pictures of Pierre Boulez more often than she posts large pictures of Maria Callas, how quickly would I be permanently banned?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

When Beethoven and Schubert's bodies were disinterred in 1863, Beethoven's skull was found to be thick and his jawbone strong; by contrast Schubert's skull was fine and almost feminine. This _obviously_ affects the way we listen to their music, as it clearly should. T̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶u̶s̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶s̶u̶f̶f̶e̶r̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶e̶t̶e̶r̶n̶i̶t̶y̶.̶. Tell us how this affects you, personally. Please give examples.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

nathanb said:


> Poll: If the Marschallin's reality were actually *the* reality, and I posted large pictures of Pierre Boulez more often than she posts large pictures of Maria Callas, how quickly would I be permanently banned?


It depends on how much taste one has.

After all, one is what one is.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

KenOC said:


> If you spelled that right, you get bonus points, offsetting future penalty points. The mods are huddling now, consulting their dictionaries.
> 
> But be careful with the sexual stuff. I had a post deleted today for an innocent limerick about Schoenberg.


Like I'd ever get penalty points. . . . . . . . Bwwwwwwahhhhhhhhaaaahhh!

_;D_


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Underrated Soprano of the Week: Maria Callas


----------



## Balthazar

Underrated Bass-Baritone of the Week: Maria Callas


----------



## Albert7

American Idol episode with Diana Damrau, Maria Callas, and Hans Hotter as the judges.


----------



## mmsbls

This thread is to suggest silly thread ideas - not to vent at other members. Stop the personal comments.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

TC Top Recommended Hangover Works - Vomiting


----------



## Albert7

Richannes Wrahms said:


> TC Top Recommended Hangover Works - Vomiting


Top 10 Recommended Works Based on Sober Identities Without a Mention of Haydn.


----------



## Blancrocher

mmsbls said:


> This thread is to suggest silly thread ideas - not to vent at other members. Stop the personal comments.


Thanks for intervening, mmsbls--some of the posts in this thread were getting quite callous.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Blancrocher said:


> Thanks for intervening, mmsbls--some of the posts in this thread were getting quite callous.


Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Blancrocher, you warm the cockles of my heart.

<_sigh_> My. . . 'heeeeeeero.'


----------



## KenOC

Blancrocher said:


> Thanks for intervening, mmsbls--some of the posts in this thread were getting quite callous.


Are you speaking of Maria Callous? I certainly hope not!


----------



## Albert7

Marschallin Blair said:


> Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
> 
> Blancrocher, you warm the cockles of my heart.
> 
> <_sigh_> My. . . 'heeeeeeero.'


In response.


----------



## Potiphera

Permission to ask a question.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Top 10 Recommended Works Based on Sober Identities Without a Mention of Haydn.


I give up; what does this mean?


----------



## Marschallin Blair

KenOC said:


> Are you speaking of Maria Callous? I certainly hope not!


How could I be callous indifferent to Callas indiference?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

I predict another prune. Sometimes a hedge just grows too fast, ignoring the gardener's efforts to contain it.


----------



## Blancrocher

**A Fishing Poll**

Please tell me your favorite music for when you go fishing:

A. Schubert's "Trout" Quintet
B. Koussevitzky's Double Bass Concerto
C. Hovhaness' "And God Created the Whales" Concerto
D. George Crumb's "Vox Balaenae"
E. John Luther Adams' "Become Ocean"
F. Other


----------



## TresPicos

mmsbls said:


> This thread is to suggest silly thread ideas - not to vent at other members. Stop the personal comments.


Now I'm confused. Silly? Or stupid? Where I come from, those are two different things.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Blancrocher said:


> **A Fishing Poll**
> 
> Please tell me your favorite music for when you go fishing:
> 
> A. Schubert's "Trout" Quintet
> B. Koussevitzky's Double Bass Concerto
> C. Hovhaness' "And God Created the Whales" Concerto
> D. George Crumb's "Vox Balaenae"
> E. John Luther Adams' "Become Ocean"
> F. Other


G. Williams, "Jaws"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Blancrocher said:


> **A Fishing Poll**
> 
> Please tell me your favorite music for when you go fishing:
> 
> A. Schubert's "Trout" Quintet
> B. Koussevitzky's Double Bass Concerto
> C. Hovhaness' "And God Created the Whales" Concerto
> D. George Crumb's "Vox Balaenae"
> E. John Luther Adams' "Become Ocean"
> F. Other


G. Williams' "Jaws"


----------



## Blancrocher

MoonlightSonata said:


> G. Williams' "Jaws"


That one was going to go in my dentistry music thread, along with Pulitzer-prize winning "Roomful of Teeth" and Boulez's "Sur Incisors."


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> I've been playing "spot the bulge" with those photos you've been posting, and I could totally see it in that last one.
> Nice strapping job, "Divina".


_A propos_ bulges, you must absolutely read this article in The Guardian:
http://www.theguardian.com/books/ga...dpiece-in-art-renaissance-fashion-in-pictures


----------



## Woodduck

Blancrocher said:


> **A Fishing Poll**
> 
> Please tell me your favorite music for when you go fishing:
> 
> A. Schubert's "Trout" Quintet
> B. Koussevitzky's Double Bass Concerto
> C. Hovhaness' "And God Created the Whales" Concerto
> D. George Crumb's "Vox Balaenae"
> E. John Luther Adams' "Become Ocean"
> F. Other


Haydn: "The heavens are telling the glory of cod" from _The Creation_
Rachmaninoff: _Prelude in Sea Shark Minor_
Gershwin: _Porgy and Bass_
Di Capua: _O Sole Mio_


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> **A Fishing Poll**
> Please tell me your favorite music for when you go fishing:
> A. Schubert's "Trout" Quintet
> B. Koussevitzky's Double Bass Concerto
> C. Hovhaness' "And God Created the Whales" Concerto
> D. George Crumb's "Vox Balaenae"
> E. John Luther Adams' "Become Ocean"
> F. Other


Annie Fischer playing some (cod)piece or other by, say, Mozart?


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> **A Fishing Poll**
> 
> Please tell me your favorite music for when you go fishing:
> 
> A. Schubert's "Trout" Quintet
> B. Koussevitzky's Double Bass Concerto
> C. Hovhaness' "And God Created the Whales" Concerto
> D. George Crumb's "Vox Balaenae"
> E. John Luther Adams' "Become Ocean"
> F. Other


Surely anything with scales?


----------



## Ingélou

*Fin*landia....?


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> **A Fishing Poll**
> 
> Please tell me your favorite music for when you go fishing:
> 
> A. Schubert's "Trout" Quintet
> B. Koussevitzky's Double Bass Concerto
> C. Hovhaness' "And God Created the Whales" Concerto
> D. George Crumb's "Vox Balaenae"
> E. John Luther Adams' "Become Ocean"
> F. Other


F. Dillon's Nine Rivers


----------



## Dim7

Due to a strange glitch, posts about Maria Callas keep appearing in the Stupid Thread Ideas thread. It has been speculated that the forum is trying to subtly express its opinion on such discussions but that theory remains unproved. The problem is being investigated - please be patient.


----------



## Blancrocher

TalkingHead said:


> Annie Fischer playing some (cod)piece or other by, say, Mozart?


I prefer Murray Piranha in Mozart, honestly.


----------



## Potiphera

Should this thread be in the Community forum?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

I bring the light of truth to the blindfolded: *Maria Callas was a sea witch*. 'It' entered the musical industry in the hopes of stealing a precious voice for herself. She keept her public under a nasty spell, a kind of act ritual, a veil that tranforms one thing into another. Her image still holds some power, the Ministry of Delusional Triggers recommend caution when handling such.


----------



## Polyphemus

Albert7 said:


> We should create polls in the music thread where no options are given as answers.


But how can one snipe at no opinion.


----------



## Blancrocher

Richannes Wrahms said:


> I bring the light of truth to the blindfolded: *Maria Callas was a sea witch*.


You must be thinking of Marina Callas.


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> Due to a strange glitch, posts about Maria Callas keep appearing in the Stupid Thread Ideas thread. It has been speculated that the forum is trying to subtly express its opinion on such discussions but that theory remains unproved. The problem is being investigated - please be patient.


Seems somehow apt to me.
As an apparent expert on the Sea Witch is it true that she spent an inordinate amount of time on tankers trying to capture the sound of a broken drive shaft.


----------



## Guest

Please note this thread is about fish, not sea mammals.

Some posts have been filleted.


----------



## Blancrocher

Potiphera said:


> Should this thread be in the Community forum?


All anyone does in the Community Forum anymore is post cute catfish photos.


----------



## Polyphemus

Blancrocher said:


> All anyone does in the Community Forum anymore is post cute catfish photos.
> 
> View attachment 69030


Fine but can the damn thing sing or even play the piano.


----------



## Blancrocher

Polyphemus said:


> Fine but can the damn thing sing or even play the piano.


No--just the viola, I believe.


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> No--just the viola, I believe.


Kinda sexy looking though, ain't it.


----------



## Polyphemus

Blancrocher said:


> No--just the viola, I believe.


Has it ever recorded Harold In Italy or the Bartok Concerto.


----------



## Guest

Polyphemus said:


> Has it ever recorded Harold In Italy or the Bartok Concerto.


Not the former but yes the latter.

Sound quality was a bit muffled, mind.


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Not the former but yes the latter.
> 
> Sound quality was a bit muffled, mind.


Must be the pollution in those Hungarian lakes.


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> Please note this thread is about fish, not sea mammals.
> 
> Some posts have been filleted.


Due to potential infractions, any posts regarding the nature of sushi while listening to Beethoven string quartets have been carefully moderated for explosive content.


----------



## Polyphemus

Pre prepared Sushi.


----------



## Albert7

Polyphemus said:


> View attachment 69040
> 
> 
> Pre prepared Sushi.


Explosive sushi gathering to the sounds of 1812 Overture has been re-released into the wild, hook line and sinker, on LP in full glorious quadra-phony sounds.


----------



## hpowders

I'm 14 and sent away for my first sextet, but was disappointed to find musicians on the CD cover because I thought....


----------



## omega

Earlier in the week, I posted my *433*th post, but I was very disappointed to find out I could not leave a blank message.

Could the moderators make an exception to the 15-caracters rule as a tribute to this extraordinary number?


----------



## Guest

Michael Buble! Why?


----------



## millionrainbows

Nono: his name says it all!


----------



## Albert7

millionrainbows said:


> Nono: his name says it all!


A newly discovered work by Nono entitled Nono-tations.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

We are disappointed to learn that some members have attempted to imitate moderators by writing in red text. This behaviour is unacce-
Oh, oops.


----------



## CBD

<Insert rant about how this isn't music here>


----------



## CBD

omega said:


> Earlier in the week, I posted my *433*th post, but I was very disappointed to find out I could not leave a blank message.
> 
> Could the moderators make an exception to the 15-caracters rule as a tribute to this extraordinary number?


This forum needs a tag that will prevent surrounded text from being shown but will still count that text toward your character count.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> We are disappointed to learn that some members have attempted to imitate moderators by writing in red text. This behaviour is unacce-
> Oh, oops.


We are disappointed to learn that some members have attempted to imitate moderators by writing in red text. This behaviour is unacce-
Oh, oops. A transcription of MoonlightSonata's comment into Blue-Flat Minor.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

CBD said:


> This forum needs a tag that will prevent surrounded text from being shown but will still count that text toward your character count.


[WEBERN]Or this, for short posts that are very good?[/WEBERN]


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Mooonlight totally

are stupid

posts

suck Sonata's

and


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SeptimalTritone said:


> Mooonlight totally
> 
> are stupid
> 
> posts
> 
> suck Sonata's
> 
> and


.....................................am
.................i

...................................................................being

detlusni

........in..............................................a

....................................webernian

_______________________________________________________niohsaf
___?

(I presume, by the fact that I received a "like", that you do not actually intend to disparage my posting style?)


----------



## Albert7

Ich danke, thouest Ich Bin Beethoven.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

^ No man, just some bro banter. I really like your stupid thread ideas.


----------



## Albert7

SeptimalTritone said:


> ^ No man, just some bro banter. I really like your stupid thread ideas.


A popularity/unpopularity meter that goes for every single post here. Unpopular threads are voted in with the 1-800-TAL-KCLASSX hotline. Also every single reference to Webern is automatically unpopular by default.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> A popularity/unpopularity meter that goes for every single post here. Unpopular threads are voted in with the 1-800-TAL-KCLASSX hotline. Also every single reference to Webern is automatically unpopular by default.


*1-800-TAL-KCLASSX*
"Hello?"
"Yes, Talk Classical thread report hotline, Magle speaking."
"I'd like to report an unpopular thread. I really can't see why anybody would post on it."
"What's it called?"
"Current Listening."


----------



## Albert7

Engineering a record player that plays all of your classical music records backwards and with a red light that comes on if it finds any secret messages from aliens or the composer's ghost.


----------



## Guest

Disrespect your fellow posters by endlessly spamming.


----------



## Dim7

The poster is not the final authority on his or her own posts


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Disrespect your fellow posters by endlessly spamming.











How do ya like them apples


----------



## Albert7

Multiple polls where there are negative one number of choices, or that one of the selections is an imaginary number (square root of negative one).


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 has

posted a post!










This is the one.

Well done, Dim7! You found the "Post Quick Reply" -button!


----------



## Guest

Fun Xenakis poll:


What is your favourite compositional basis?

A. Game theory
B. Gas mechanics
C. Group theory
D. Markov chains
E. Minimal constraints
F. Normal distribution
G. Set theory
X. Other

Please explain your choice.


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> Fun Xenakis poll:
> 
> What is your favourite compositional basis?
> 
> A. Game theory
> B. Gas mechanics
> C. Group theory
> D. Markov chains
> E. Minimal constraints
> F. Normal distribution
> G. Set theory
> X. Other
> 
> Please explain your choice.


Markov chains, definitely!

Already as a mathematical concept, Markov chains are quite sad, but in a very genuine way, unlike the more "theatrical" sadness of set theory. A great composer like Xenakis can capture and refine this inner nature of Markov chains in a very compelling manner.

I mean, has anyone ever felt the urge to cry when listening to music based on gas mechanics? I don't think so...


----------



## Guest

dogen said:


> Fun Xenakis poll:
> What is your favourite compositional basis?
> 
> A. Game theory
> B. Gas mechanics
> C. Group theory
> D. Markov chains
> E. Minimal constraints
> F. Normal distribution
> G. Set theory
> X. Other
> 
> Please explain your choice.


Oy! Where's my stochastic processes?
Signed: Charles-Édouard Jeanneret-Gris on behalf of Iannis X.


----------



## hpowders

*Comparative Listening!!*

Post No.1: The thread you have been waiting for! Each week we will listen to a complete set of Scarlatti keyboard sonatas:
For the first 7 years or so, harpsichord only, then for 3-5 years, piano only.
Then we will narrow down the better ones until we have agreed on the 10 best complete sonata performances.
We will then discuss and debate until we have a final winner!

Post No.2: Bump! What? Nobody interested????


----------



## hpowders

*The Maria Callas Thread. Finally!!!*

Post No. 1: I've been researching "Classical Music Discussion" threads and couldn't find any thread about my favorite opera singer, so Talk Classical: here's the place to start!!!


----------



## millionrainbows

dogen said:


> Fun Xenakis poll:
> 
> What is your favourite compositional basis?
> 
> A. Game theory
> B. Gas mechanics
> C. Group theory
> D. Markov chains
> E. Minimal constraints
> F. Normal distribution
> G. Set theory
> X. Other
> 
> Please explain your choice.


Gas mechanics!

"Jumpin' Jack Xenakis, it's a gas, gas, gas!"


----------



## Guest

Gas all the way for me too!


----------



## TresPicos

Hi everyone,

I'm new here at TalkClassical, and I'm kind of a newbie when it comes to classical music as well. I was really looking forward to learn more about classical music from discussing with all of you, but then I saw that you have a Ballet subforum! People, ballet is _dancing_! Even I know that! I signed up to discuss music, not dancing or poetry or sculpture or things like that.

And what's up with the "Identifying Music" subforum? How hard can it be? If you have sound that sounds like music, then it's probably _music_! If you have two slices of bread with something in between that tastes like tuna, it's probably a tuna sandwich and _not music_! Do people submit recordings of lawnmowers and ask whether it's music or just a lawnmower? Then, I guess TalkClassical is perhaps not for me.

So, now I'm having second thoughts about the whole thing. I just received the membership payment PM from your treasurer MoonlightSonata. While I think it would give a more professional impression if you used a TalkClassical PayPal account instead of a personal one, my main concern is the steep price. If I'm going to pay $1200 per year to discuss music, I sure don't want to discuss dancing!

/SietePicos


----------



## Dim7

HEY EVERYBODY LISTEN!! I have an idea, a great great idea! You should all listen to my great idea!!!
_What if we, what if weeeeeeee - would make our posts (our posts) look more like claaassiiiiicaaal? Moooore muusiiical?_

LISTEN!!! *GREAT IDEA! *What if we OUR POSTS!!! EVERYBODY LISTEN!!! idea idea idea great great great Our great classical post ideas moore like classical

HEY EVERYBODY LISTEN!! I have an idea, a great great idea! You should all listen to my great idea!!!
_What if we, what if weeeeeeee - would make our posts (our posts) look more like claaassiiiiicaaal? Moooore muusiiical? _

A great idea, yep its great!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> HEY EVERYBODY LISTEN!! I have an idea, a great great idea! You should all listen to my great idea!!!
> _What if we, what if weeeeeeee - would make our posts (our posts) look more like claaassiiiiicaaal? Moooore muusiiical?_
> 
> LISTEN!!! *GREAT IDEA! *What if we OUR POSTS!!! EVERYBODY LISTEN!!! idea idea idea great great great Our great classical post ideas moore like classical
> 
> HEY EVERYBODY LISTEN!! I have an idea, a great great idea! You should all listen to my great idea!!!
> _What if we, what if weeeeeeee - would make our posts (our posts) look more like claaassiiiiicaaal? Moooore muusiiical? _
> 
> A great idea, yep its great!


like haydns ninety-fourth symph*O*ny?


----------



## Celloman

*TalkClassical's Greatest Post-1950 Works: #31-40*

031. What does an eight-track tape have to do with the tenor bell of the Winchester Cathedral? I'm not sure I would call this a "resounding" success.

032. My avatar is much more interesting. Not to mention the chapel itself.

033. Dear Penderecki, Thanks for the permanent tinnitus.

034. If they say "cheers" one more time, I'm going to scream.

035. A violinist walks into a horror film...

036. I heard some Bach at the beginning of the music. After that, I was pretty much lost.

037. More choral music without any singing. I think some of the singers had the sniffles - why the heck did they keep clearing their throats? They all got sick at the same time, I guess.

038. Steve Reich meets energy drink.

039. Well, the title certainly lives up to its name. It's a rough approximation of the correct pitches and I guess that's pretty limiting.

040. If the 12th century troubadour Jaufre Rudel was able to travel through time and see this opera (based on his life), he'd break his ten-string lute over Saariaho's head.


----------



## hpowders

*Newbie here!!*

Post No. 1: Okay. I bought some chamber music CDs. Is there a uniform sized chamber to play it in. I want to get it right.
I have other intelligent questions too.


----------



## Guest

Mark Rothko's so-called paintings are an insult to the colour blind. Disparage.


----------



## Albert7

Because stupidity is in itself a social construct, this STI thread is a mere illusion to those who author anything here. Even the great Mozart is always intelligent when he visits planet Earth in his next life.


----------



## Albert7

And now presenting "NO LIGETI" by Blackstreet.

No diggity, Ligeti.


----------



## hpowders

Relationships.

Post No. 1. Hi Jill here. I fell in love with poster Jack and we are really dating. Emoticon kisses became real kisses. Can we merge our tags into one, "Jackn'Jill"? Who's in charge of this?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Relationships.
> 
> Post No. 1. Hi Jill here. I fell in love with poster Jack and we are really dating. Emoticon kisses became real kisses. Can we merge our tags into one, "Jackn'Jill"? Who's in charge of this?


Symphony of Jack and Jill No. 1 by Birtwistle premiering at the Proms this year.


----------



## Celloman

We've had an alarming number of stupid thread ideas lately, and most of them outside of this thread.


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> We've had an alarming number of stupid thread ideas lately, and most of them outside of this thread.


Now I just feel totally like my IQ just went down after escaping the underground lair of Franz Liszt's hideaway like Hernando.


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> We've had an alarming number of stupid thread ideas lately, and most of them outside of this thread.


Yeah, but that has always been the built-in joke. This thread is and always has been so much more intelligent than many of the other threads.

Also, it's a great place for potential comedians to refine their routines.


----------



## TresPicos

So, this weekend I tried _current listening_ for the first time. And, man, I don't understand how you all do it!

I was busy trying to hear the sound of the current over the sound of the waves and wasn't completely aware where I was going, when suddenly my snorkeling gear was almost pulled right off my face! I had been caught in a rip tide that started dragging me out to sea! After some struggling, I realized I had to swim sideways, and I was able to free myself from the pull of the current.

When I left the beach, I was a wreck! I'll never try that again! Please, be careful when you do your current listening, people! I mean, it's dangerous!


----------



## Blancrocher

**The Role-Reversal Thread**

Hi Everybody! I've been hearing a lot of hand-wringing lately about incessant battles between people who love contemporary and avant-garde music and those who hate it. So I was thinking: how about everyone in the two camps _changes sides_?! I imagine that by defending the views of the opposition, one will inevitably develop greater tolerance and sympathy for alternative points of view! It will be wonderful!

So, for the duration of this thread, modern-music lovers should claim to hate it; traditionalists should claim to love it; those who like both older and recent music should claim to hate all of it; and people who despise music altogether should join the forum.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> So, this weekend I tried _current listening_ for the first time. And, man, I don't understand how you all do it!
> 
> I was busy trying to hear the sound of the current over the sound of the waves and wasn't completely aware where I was going, when suddenly my snorkeling gear was almost pulled right off my face! I had been caught in a rip tide that started dragging me out to sea! After some struggling, I realized I had to swim sideways, and I was able to free myself from the pull of the current.
> 
> When I left the beach, I was a wreck! I'll never try that again! Please, be careful when you do your current listening, people! I mean, it's dangerous!


Current Listening? Oh, I thought it was _currant_ listening!
I suppose I can take the blackcurrants out of my ear now...


----------



## TresPicos

Okay, so I've received a PM from a user named Dim7, explaining what current listening is really all about. And I feel real stupid now!

Thanks, Dim7! I didn't understand that part about Darwin, though.

Well, I hope you all find me a bit less stupid, when I tell you where I'm going tonight:


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> **The Role-Reversal Thread**
> 
> Hi Everybody! I've been hearing a lot of hand-wringing lately about incessant battles between people who love contemporary and avant-garde music and those who hate it. So I was thinking: how about everyone in the two camps _changes sides_?! I imagine that by defending the views of the opposition, one will inevitably develop greater tolerance and sympathy for alternative points of view! It will be wonderful!
> 
> So, for the duration of this thread, modern-music lovers should claim to hate it; traditionalists should claim to love it; those who like both older and recent music should claim to hate all of it; and people who despise music altogether should join the forum.


I'd tell you that I've actually posted almost the same idea in this thread (though weirdly mine was not actually a _thread_ idea) but complaining about that would make me feel like a pathetic petty loser so I'll keep that information to myself.


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> I'd tell you that I've actually posted almost the same idea in this thread (*though weirdly mine was not actually a thread idea*) but complaining about that would make me feel like a pathetic petty loser so I'll keep that information to myself.


Sorry, my friend: you have great ideas, but you've got no idea how to package them properly. It's like how original composers die penniless while film composers make bank.

Perhaps I flatter myself, but I'd say I'm the James Horner of STI.


----------



## Polyphemus

Blancrocher said:


> Sorry, my friend: you have great ideas, but you've got no idea how to package them properly. It's like how original composers die penniless while film composers make bank.
> 
> Perhaps I flatter myself, but I'd say I'm the James Horner of STI.


Or perhaps you flater James Horner !!!


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> **The Role-Reversal Thread**
> 
> Hi Everybody! I've been hearing a lot of hand-wringing lately about incessant battles between people who love contemporary and avant-garde music and those who hate it. So I was thinking: how about everyone in the two camps _changes sides_?! I imagine that by defending the views of the opposition, one will inevitably develop greater tolerance and sympathy for alternative points of view! It will be wonderful!
> 
> So, for the duration of this thread, modern-music lovers should claim to hate it; traditionalists should claim to love it; those who like both older and recent music should claim to hate all of it; and people who despise music altogether should join the forum.


Great idea, and I've taken practical steps in this area. I have a friend who despises all music and I've got him to join TC, just like you suggested. I bet you can spot this newbie easily; his posts are inane even by TC standards.

I'll give you a Like if you can name him!


----------



## sharik

http://www.talkclassical.com/37969-can-you-tell-if.html?posted=1#post872616


----------



## Dim7

sharik said:


> http://www.talkclassical.com/37969-can-you-tell-if.html?posted=1#post872616


This time I think no one will complain about you posting a link to an actual thread here...


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> This time I think no one will complain about you posting a link to an actual thread here...


As long as he doesn't take things as far as the guy who cut and pasted every thread on the forum into STI as a grandiose satirical statement. In any case, the guy was banned, as I understand it, not for the insult it implied but because the mods ended up having to spend a week without sleep deleting all those duplicate current listening posts. Slowed the forum down like you wouldn't believe.


----------



## MagneticGhost

Can Porridge be used as a Musical Instrument.
Can you tell if a composer is called Arnold by listening to his music?
Is TalkClassical dead?


----------



## Polyphemus

MagneticGhost said:


> Can Porridge be used as a Musical Instrument.
> Can you tell if a composer is called Arnold by listening to his music?
> Is TalkClassical dead?


Porridge is popularly used for dampening the ardour of over enthusiastic percussionists when they are seated under a choir balcony.

Probably not.

With such scintillating and thought provoking observations such as yours I think not.

and Blah Blah Blah


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Great idea, and I've taken practical steps in this area. I have a friend who despises all music and I've got him to join TC, just like you suggested. I bet you can spot this newbie easily; his posts are inane even by TC standards.
> 
> I'll give you a Like if you can name him!


Ah you spoiled it by giving yourself away too soon. :devil: :devil: :tiphat:


----------



## MagneticGhost

Polyphemus said:


> Porridge is popularly used for dampening the ardour of over enthusiastic percussionists when they are seated under a choir balcony.
> 
> Probably not.
> 
> With such scintillating and thought provoking observations such as yours I think not.
> 
> and Blah Blah Blah



Why the sarcasm and the blah blah blah. 
A gentle lampoon of three current threads is hardly cause for a personal sarcastic attack is it?


----------



## hpowders

Can you tell a composer's sexual preference by the power and breadth of the fugues they wrote?


----------



## Polyphemus

No ---------------


----------



## Polyphemus

Polyphemus said:


> No ---------------


Didn't mean to be rude but one does need 15 letters.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Can you tell if a composer is a stamp collector from the music he/she writes? _I_ can. It's usually those who put their personal stamp on the music.

UPDATE: I have just received a private message from Frederik Magle and Krummhorn strongly urging me to resign from TalkClassical rather than a public and embarrassing public banning/shaming for telling the worst joke, perhaps of all time.

It's been fun, guys and gals. Take care.


----------



## hpowders

How can we make classical music less popular?

Post No. 1: I am an elitist snob. Yes, I admit it! How do we get the majority of folks in the US turned off to classical music so I can feel really special?


----------



## Polyphemus

MagneticGhost said:


> Why the sarcasm and the blah blah blah.
> A gentle lampoon of three current threads is hardly cause for a personal sarcastic attack is it?


Hi MagneticGhost Far be it from me to launch a personal let alone sarcastic attack on any member of this forum. The replies which apparently offended you so were of course intended as witticisms in the spirit of the thread (Stupid Thread Ideas) as indeed was the Blah etc.
If however this does not explain things to you and the normal repartee common in Stupid Thread Ideas then I suggest you contact either Taggart or Krummhorn on the matter for adjudication. (Both are moderators)


----------



## MagneticGhost

Polyphemus said:


> Hi MagneticGhost Far be it from me to launch a personal let alone sarcastic attack on any member of this forum. The replies which apparently offended you so were of course intended as witticisms in the spirit of the thread (Stupid Thread Ideas) as indeed was the Blah etc.
> If however this does not explain things to you and the normal repartee common in Stupid Thread Ideas then I suggest you contact either Taggart or Krummhorn on the matter for adjudication. (Both are moderators)


Dear Polyphemus.
The addition of the blah blah at the end put a different spin on it in my mind is all. But if you're telling me that you were not having a go that's good enough for me.
Sorry to misconstrue. I hardly think I need to ask for adjudication. I asked you and you explained. End of! 
Thanks


----------



## Polyphemus

MagneticGhost said:


> Dear Polyphemus.
> The addition of the blah blah at the end put a different spin on it in my mind is all. But if you're telling me that you were not having a go that's good enough for me.
> Sorry to misconstrue. I hardly think I need to ask for adjudication. I asked you and you explained. End of!
> Thanks


All's well then. Happy to clear up any misunderstanding.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Dim7 has
> 
> posted a post!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This is the one.
> 
> Well done, Dim7! You found the "Post Quick Reply" -button!


Very nice. A milestone!


----------



## Celloman

_Celloman has_

_earned ten infractions today!_










_This is a new record at TalkClassical and will not be repeated!_


----------



## Guest

dogen said:


> Great idea, and I've taken practical steps in this area. I have a friend who despises all music and I've got him to join TC, just like you suggested. I bet you can spot this newbie easily; his posts are inane even by TC standards.
> 
> I'll give you a Like if you can name him!


It's hard to do satire when the reality is satirical.


----------



## Taggart

Dim7 said:


> Dim7 has
> 
> posted a post!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This is the one.
> 
> Well done, Dim7! You found the "Post Quick Reply" -button!


Dim7 may now explain why he comprises frequencies that are equally spaced when considered on a logarithmic axis, and why he has divided the octave into four logarithmically equal portions, each being a minor third.


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> _Celloman has_
> 
> _earned ten infractions today!_
> 
> 
> View attachment 69207
> 
> 
> _This is a new record at TalkClassical and will not be repeated!_


Not only that! You didn't bitch and moan about it, writing a 137 line speech about why you are leaving TC and then two days later, magically reappear as if nothing happened, so your credibility is intact!! :clap:


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> It's hard to do satire when the reality is satirical.


Yes. Under these trying conditions, we valiantly do what we can around here.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Yes. Under these trying conditions, we valiantly do what we can around here.


And irony's a dead duck.


----------



## Guest

Taggart said:


> Dim7 may now explain why he comprises frequencies that are equally spaced when considered on a logarithmic axis, and why he has divided the octave into four logarithmically equal portions, each being a minor third.


He's the love child of Iannis Xenakis.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*MoonlightSonata has made*

10

*different accounts!*

*Congratulations!*

*Keep On Spamming!*


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> *MoonlightSonata has made*
> 
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>10
> 
> *different accounts!*
> 
> >>>>>>>>*Congratulations!*
> 
> >>>>>>>>*Keep On Spamming!*


Did one of you start a thread about the Korean composer Unsok Puppit?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> Did one of you start a thread about the Korean composer Unsok Puppit?


No, but my "SpamSpamSpam99999lolol" account made a thread about Mary Onnet.
Unfortunately, it was quickly deleted and I was banned by some impertinent mod.


----------



## Guest

Advance Notice to Members

There will soon be a vacancy for the position of TC Homophobe.

If you would like to be considered, then please PM a member of staff, outlining the qualities you think that this position requires and how you embody and demonstrate them.

Previous shameful applicants need not re-apply.


----------



## Dim7

Dying maximalism: Do you aim for an extravagant death (e.g. like Yukio Mishima)?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Dying maximalism: Do you aim for an extravagant death (e.g. like Yukio Mishima)?


It's terrible what being a librettist can drive you to.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Dying maximalism: Do you aim for an extravagant death (e.g. like Yukio Mishima)?


Dim7, I see you stealing ideas from me!!


----------



## Guest

TC Constraints List

The idea is to come up with as many limitations, constraints, prohibitions and barriers to musical experimentation as possible. These can take any form, as long as they inhibit creativity; so put your thinking helmets on and start suggesting! - some obvious areas to proscribe: means of sound production, compositional technique, nationality, gender, orientation, belief system...


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> TC Constraints List
> 
> The idea is to come up with as many limitations, constraints, prohibitions and barriers to musical experimentation as possible. These can take any form, as long as they inhibit creativity; so put your thinking helmets on and start suggesting! - some obvious areas to proscribe: means of sound production, compositional technique, nationality, gender, orientation, belief system...


Hey man what you smokin ?


----------



## Albert7

Polyphemus said:


> Hey man what you smokin ?


The Tree Symphony is quite evident now.


----------



## Polyphemus

Albert7 said:


> The Tree Symphony is quite evident now.


Don't know that one does it get you high as a Redwood?


----------



## hpowders

Technical Area Complaint:

Post No. 1: In a well-planned attempt to catch hpowders' post count, I spent the last 7 days on Community Forum, posting 12,437 times. When I woke up this morning, my post count was still listed as "3" and I'm still only a "junior" member.
Now they tell me Community Forum posts don't count!!!! You folks will hear from my barrister!!


----------



## Albert7

Polyphemus said:


> Don't know that one does it get you high as a Redwood?


There may not be any Kite String Quartet that could lift you higher?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> There may not be any Kite String Quartet that could lift you higher?


But of course there is! Stockhousing's _Kite Quartet_ for eight kites , aeroplane and string quartet, in which the quartet tie kites to their feet and jump out of a plane while playing, attempting to save themselves from certain death using the kite.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> But of course there is! Stockhousing's _Kite Quartet_ for eight kites , aeroplane and string quartet, in which the quartet tie kites to their feet and jump out of a plane while playing, attempting to save themselves from certain death using the kite.


True but what do you get when you cross a kite with a helicopter and four people in a quartet?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> True but what do you get when you cross a kite with a helicopter and four people in a quartet?


You get a predictable punchline.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> You get a predictable punchline.


New thesis: does listening to Schnittke lead to increased consumption of Schnickers?


----------



## Balthazar

Create a post comprised entirely of words in the current 70 most-searched-for thread tags.

Example:

Moonlightsonata, absolutely hungry, making evening Tuvalu anchovies fast. 
Weekend listening library: Haydn symphonies, Falstaff opera, 4'33'' forever...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Balthazar said:


> Create a post comprised entirely of words in the current 70 most-searched-for thread tags.
> 
> Example:
> 
> Moonlightsonata, absolutely hungry, making evening Tuvalu anchovies fast.
> Weekend listening library: Haydn symphonies, Falstaff opera, 4'33'' forever...


_I'm_ in the most-searched-for thread tags?! 
How did that happen?


----------



## Balthazar

MoonlightSonata said:


> _I'm_ in the most-searched-for thread tags?!
> How did that happen?












Well done, MoonlightSonata!


----------



## SimonNZ

"Which medication do you mix with which alcohol before you post on TC?"


----------



## Albert7

Balthazar said:


> Well done, MoonlightSonata!


That was a shooting star sonata we need to compose for MoonlightSonata for this momentous occasion.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: What is your favorite *****?

 ***
 *****
 ****
 ********
 ******


----------



## Guest

I voted ********


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> I voted ********


I'm a fairly tolerant person, but still... that's pretty disturbing, dogen.


----------



## Guest

Polyphemus said:


> Hey man what you smokin ?


I'm inhaling the giddy perfume of the TC atmos.


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> I'm a fairly tolerant person, but still... that's pretty disturbing, dogen.


Yeah, no kidding. But don't worry: I reported him.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I'm a fairly tolerant person, but still... that's pretty disturbing, dogen.


I know; but at least it's a path of redemption that I'm treading. Before I came here I was lost; I was a ****(*) although sometimes I could see (or thought I could see) a glimmer of (*)((((*)

Now, with help and the appropriate support I find I can ((( and even ****)*** but not too much.

Perhaps in a few months time I'll be able to revisit your poll and be more challenged by the ** than the """"""""((*)). Let's hope so anyway.

Now, to listen to some Sunn O)))

That's :angel:


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> Yeah, no kidding. But don't worry: I reported him.


Apologies. I meant to click "Like" this post but accidently clicked Report. Sorry.

And then I typed "Infraction at least for this foul missive. Preferably a lifetime ban."

Again, sincerest apologies Blancrocher. :tiphat:


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Poll: What is your favorite *****?
> 
> ***
> *****
> ****
> ********
> ******


Oh ****... at least the words of Beethoven's assistant when he first saw the ***** string quartet score.


----------



## hpowders

Who are your favorite TC trollers?

Post No. 1: Anecdotal examples please. Banned posters okay.


----------



## hpowders

Who are your favorite posters with multiple accounts?

Post No. 1: Especially valuable are interactions where one poster is praising another poster who happens to be the same person. Don't forget to list the various tags of each of the posters.


----------



## TresPicos

*For those of you with multiple accounts, which one is your favorite account?*

My favorite is, unsurprisingly, _TresPicos_. Once I created that, I pretty much stopped using _DosPicos_, except for when I need extra support in discussions about atonal music.

_CuatroPicos _is for when I'm in a bad mood and wants to take it out on other users without creating any fallout for TresPicos.

_SietePicos _is for when I want to be respected by serious posters (which is impossible for TresPicos because of all the STI posting).

_Dim7_, I only use when I'm drunk.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> *For those of you with multiple accounts, which one is your favorite account?*
> 
> My favorite is, unsurprisingly, _TresPicos_. Once I created that, I pretty much stopped using _DosPicos_, except for when I need extra support in discussions about atonal music.
> 
> _CuatroPicos _is for when I'm in a bad mood and wants to take it out on other users without creating any fallout for TresPicos.
> 
> _SietePicos _is for when I want to be respected by serious posters (which is impossible for TresPicos because of all the STI posting).
> 
> _Dim7_, I only use when I'm drunk.


hpowders, hpowers, Hpowders, HPowders, hPowders, ComposerofAtonality.

All fine.


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> _Dim7_, I only use when I'm drunk.


In that case, you've got a serious drink problem.


----------



## Dim7

Here's a list of all of my accounts that I created so that I didn't have to post all my posts in this thread with the same account and thus give an impression of being obsessed with this thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/misc.php?do=whoposted&t=33122

The order is by the number of the posts in this thread and since actions speak louder than words I guess you could say that it's in the order I prefer each account.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Here's a list of all of my accounts that I created so that I didn't have to post all my posts in this thread with the same account and thus give an impression of being obsessed with this thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/misc.php?do=whoposted&t=33122
> 
> The order is by the number of the posts in this thread and since actions speak louder than words I guess you could say that it's in the order I prefer each account.


I'm touched.

..............


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Here's a list of all of my accounts that I created so that I didn't have to post all my posts in this thread with the same account and thus give an impression of being obsessed with this thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/misc.php?do=whoposted&t=33122
> 
> The order is by the number of the posts in this thread and since actions speak louder than words I guess you could say that it's in the order I prefer each account.


Well played, sir! :tiphat:

You sure had me fooled! All this time, I thought it was me posting all of my posts!

And I'm really impressed by all those thousands and thousands of posts you've created in other threads here at TC to keep up the illusion that these are all legitimate users.

Also, some of these users are moderators. You were actually able to establish multiple moderator accounts! And I guess you also had to do a lot of moderating so that no one would suspect anything. How did you find the time?


----------



## Blancrocher

TresPicos said:


> Well played, sir! :tiphat:
> 
> You sure had me fooled! All this time, I thought it was me posting all of my posts!
> 
> And I'm really impressed by all those thousands and thousands of posts you've created in other threads here at TC to keep up the illusion that these are all legitimate users.
> 
> Also, some of these users are moderators. You were actually able to establish multiple moderator accounts! And I guess you also had to do a lot of moderating so that no one would suspect anything. How did you find the time?


Don't play dumb here, "TresPicos"--"you" know as well as "I" do that all the posts on this entire forum are the product of a single mind, given that we're the same person and all.

But I wonder: do the operators of other classical music forums do the same thing, or do random members of the public actually join them?


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> I'm touched.
> 
> ..............


I know.

..............


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I know.
> 
> ..............


Yes. Auto-touched!


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> Here's a list of all of my accounts that I created so that I didn't have to post all my posts in this thread with the same account and thus give an impression of being obsessed with this thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/misc.php?do=whoposted&t=33122


Eerie... This is like _The Matrix_ meets _Sibyl_. Who am I?

And more importantly, is Dim7 Keanu Reeves or Sally Field?


----------



## millionrainbows

dogen said:


> TC Constraints List
> 
> The idea is to come up with as many limitations, constraints, prohibitions and barriers to musical experimentation as possible. These can take any form, as long as they inhibit creativity; so put your thinking helmets on and start suggesting! - some obvious areas to proscribe: means of sound production, compositional technique, nationality, gender, orientation, belief system...


Not enough income, being a Republican, ears blown off in war, screwed-up by parents, Catholic, social orientation, control freak, drummer, eating potato chips all the time, poisoned by ice cream, bottom lip sticks way out, repressive work environment, emotionally disturbed, cat is too sensitive to loud noises, wife is asleep in other room...


----------



## Guest

Hey now. Respect the cat.


----------



## hpowders

Hey! Great news! There's a new Maria Callas Box Set!! Let me be the first to tell TC!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Here's a list of all of my accounts that I created so that I didn't have to post all my posts in this thread with the same account and thus give an impression of being obsessed with this thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/misc.php?do=whoposted&t=33122
> 
> The order is by the number of the posts in this thread and since actions speak louder than words I guess you could say that it's in the order I prefer each account.


I suppose I should announce to any non-members browsing this forum that this is a post I made from my Dim7 account, which is one I like to use sometimes. When I'm feeling talkative, I tend to use my hpowders account, and when I feel authoritative, I use the Krummhorn one.
Sometimes, for fun, I like to set up a troll account and then ban myself with one of the "moderator" accounts - always a good laugh!


----------



## SimonNZ

Poll:

How many different issues of La Divina's live bootleg of the August 16 1957 performance of Boheme at La Scala (specifically the 2pm matinee session, not the more famous to collectors 8pm session) do you own?

a) 6
b) 5
c) 4
d) I am unworthy


----------



## hpowders

When I saw the DVD cover "Twelve Monkeys", I thought it was a DVD of the last meeting of the Stupid Thread Ideas Board of Directors.


----------



## Celloman

SimonNZ said:


> Poll:
> 
> How many different issues of La Divina's live bootleg of the August 16 1957 performance of Boheme at La Scala (specifically the 2pm matinee session, not the more famous to collectors 8pm session) do you own?
> 
> a) 6
> b) 5
> c) 4
> d) I am unworthy


Members are not allowed to own more than one issue of a Callas recording. Do not tempt other members to own more than the permissible number of recordings - to do so is physically unhealthy and illegal in most countries. You have received three infractions for violation of TC rules. Knock it off.


----------



## hpowders

My heart usually skips a beat when I see this color of writing.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Is this good or bad?

Is it Christmas? 

Isn't that depressing?


----------



## Albert7

Callas bootleg live recordings on compact disc with Tebaldi performances inside being disseminated by the men in blue to throw all those Callas fans out of synch.


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> My heart usually skips a beat when I see this color of writing.


My heart skipped a beat when I wrote it.


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> My heart skipped a beat when I wrote it.


My leg hopped, jumped, and skipped to that reply.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> My heart usually skips a beat when I see this color of writing.


The "Give hpowders a heart attack" Thread


----------



## Albert7

Mozart quadraplecentennial edition of LP's printed in 24 karat gold sleeves.


----------



## Pugg

hpowders said:


> Hey! Great news! There's a new Maria Callas Box Set!! Let me be the first to tell TC!!


Are you going to review them all one by one, or just the lot in a nutshell :lol:


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> Poll:
> 
> How many different issues of La Divina's live bootleg of the August 16 1957 performance of Boheme at La Scala (specifically the 2pm matinee session, not the more famous to collectors 8pm session) do you own?
> 
> a) 6
> b) 5
> c) 4
> d) I am unworthy


I voted

e) I am scum. Put me in a bin bag and chuck me in the canal.


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> My heart skipped a beat when I wrote it.


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> The "Give hpowders a heart attack" Thread


It almost worked!! When I get the permanent ban, that's the way it will look.

Signed by "The Committee".


----------



## TresPicos

Since the thread "TC always down at noon" has now been closed, I continue the discussion here. 

I have received quite a few PMs today, and it seems I'm not a very popular person. Apparently, people have problems with me eating my dinner and putting TalkClassical on pause while AFK. This happens every day at 6 pm here in Sweden, which means noon in Philadelphia, where the OP of that other thread allegedly lives. However, I don't think it's unreasonable of me to want to relax while eating my dinner, not having to obsess about what goes on at TC while I'm not around. 

The moderators have urged me not to keep pressing the Pause key like this, since it affects all the other users. But hey, the key is right there on my keyboard, which means I've paid approximately 50c for it. And now I should refrain from using it? Don't think so. 

The moderators have also informed me that it would be appropriate for me to apologize to all of you. Notgonnahappen. I do what I want. I bow to no one.


----------



## Ingélou

The 'Repository for all the thoughts that occur to you while The Site is down' thread... except that when TC pops up again, if you're like me, you'll have forgotten all of them.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Since the thread "TC always down at noon" has now been closed, I continue the discussion here.
> 
> I have received quite a few PMs today, and it seems I'm not a very popular person. Apparently, people have problems with me eating my dinner and putting TalkClassical on pause while AFK. This happens every day at 6 pm here in Sweden, which means noon in Philadelphia, where the OP of that other thread allegedly lives. However, I don't think it's unreasonable of me to want to relax while eating my dinner, not having to obsess about what goes on at TC while I'm not around.
> 
> The moderators have urged me not to keep pressing the Pause key like this, since it affects all the other users. But hey, the key is right there on my keyboard, which means I've paid approximately 50c for it. And now I should refrain from using it? Don't think so.
> 
> The moderators have also informed me that it would be appropriate for me to apologize to all of you. Notgonnahappen. I do what I want. I bow to no one.


I understand your reason to pause TC when eating dinner and I have no problems with that. Likewise I hope you understand that since I'm getting a bit tired of this universe thing I started I'm considering pressing the End key.

-God


----------



## Albert7

Is the Site really down or just the front page today? Debate but no boxing.

Otherwise, we will cue up the Haydn.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 100 Recommended TC Technical Problems


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

What *doesn't* happen in your life - Come in and share!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Random thoughts and discoveries that probably deserve a thread to themselves but that you really can't be bothered to write anywhere else.


----------



## TresPicos

Richannes Wrahms said:


> What *doesn't* happen in your life - Come in and share!


Today, I am not participating in a roaming amateur performance of Mahler's Symphony of a Thousand in the streets of my neighborhood together with my neighbors. We have not been practicing for weeks, since the event is not taking place.

Also, I'm not spending the rest of the week on a yacht somewhere in the Caribbean.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> Today, I am not participating in a roaming amateur performance of Mahler's Symphony of a Thousand in the streets of my neighborhood together with my neighbors. We have not been practicing for weeks, since the event is not taking place.
> 
> Also, I'm not spending the rest of the week on a yacht somewhere in the Caribbean.


Ooh, I wish I wasn't you!


----------



## Blancrocher

**Make-Up-For-Lost-Time Thread**

Hey Everybody!! Disaster!! TC was out for 6 hours yesterday! And I'm sure I wasn't the only one with a lot to say (about 4'33'' and the contemporary relevance of conceptual art, incidentally)! Well, this is the chance for all of us to get that time back! Yes, this is the Make-Up-For-Lost-Time Thread!

For the next 6 hours, everyone should contribute what they _would_ have written in the time that the site wasn't working. And don't worry: I do realize this will create a backlog, since I'm sure you have ideas for what you'd like to write _now_. For that reason, I'll make another thread like this one 6 hours from now, which I think should put us all back on track.


----------



## Ingélou

Ingélou said:


> The 'Repository for all the thoughts that occur to you while The Site is down' thread... except that when TC pops up again, if you're like me, you'll have forgotten all of them.





Blancrocher said:


> **Make-Up-For-Lost-Time Thread**
> 
> Hey Everybody!! Disaster!! TC was out for 6 hours yesterday! And I'm sure I wasn't the only one with a lot to say (about 4'33'' and the contemporary relevance of conceptual art, incidentally)! Well, this is the chance for all of us to get that time back! Yes, this is the Make-Up-For-Lost-Time Thread!
> 
> For the next 6 hours, everyone should contribute what they _would_ have written in the time that the site wasn't working. And don't worry: I do realize this will create a backlog, since I'm sure you have ideas for what you'd like to write _now_. For that reason, I'll make another thread like this one 6 hours from now, which I think should put us all back on track.


Problems of duplicated ideas on the Stupid Ideas thread. 
Problems of duplicated ideas on the Stupid Ideas thread.


----------



## Dim7

Deleted post...........................


----------



## Polyphemus

Ingélou said:


> Problems of duplicated ideas on the Stupid Ideas thread.
> Problems of duplicated ideas on the Stupid Ideas thread.


Ideas Thread For Stupidity Ideas Duplicated Problem

Ideas Thread For Stupidity Ideas Duplicated Problem

Ideas Thread For Stupidity Ideas Duplicated Problem


----------



## Dim7

*Kamikaze button*

Suppose you want to leave TC because you hate certain members so much, but lack the self control to stop posting here. But leaving TC while your enemies continue posting would be like accepting defeat, right? So for occasions like these we should have a "kamikaze button". By clicking that button the user would be banned permanently but he also would get the chance to ban up to 3 members of his choice. Sounds fair, right?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Suppose you want to leave TC because you hate certain members so much, but lack the self control to stop posting here. But leaving TC while your enemies continue posting would be like accepting defeat, right? So for occasions like these we should have a "kamikaze button". By clicking that button the user would be banned permanently but he also would get the chance to ban up to 3 members of his choice. Sounds fair, right?


Only 3? 

............


----------



## omega

Is _4'33''_ tonal or atonal?
The spirituality of Richard Nanes' work.
Your Favorite Palindromic Compositions
Can Olive Oil be a Music Instrument?


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Suppose you want to leave TC because you hate certain members so much, but lack the self control to stop posting here. But leaving TC while your enemies continue posting would be like accepting defeat, right? So for occasions like these we should have a "kamikaze button". By clicking that button the user would be banned permanently but he also would get the chance to ban up to 3 members of his choice. Sounds fair, right?


Pick me! Pick me! :wave:

I need to get a life...


----------



## Albert7

Realizing that if I couldn't post a vote up on a certain thread that I was feeling shaky because of withdrawal symptoms.

Someone help me! I'm just too addicted and really may feel dumb. 

Note: Actually not addicted . I was busy ripping CD's last night


----------



## Guest

Troll Food Repository.

Post it here to prevent constipation elsewhere.


----------



## Balthazar

*Unlike Count*

We have added a new metric to user profiles: the Unlike Count.

This represents the number of times a member has "liked" one of your posts, but later thought better of it and "unliked" it.

This feature should save the membership from spending valuable time and energy giving a poster a "like" that they may later come to regret.


----------



## Dim7

Balthazar said:


> We have added a new metric to user profiles: the Unlike Count.
> 
> This represents the number of times a member has "liked" one of your posts, but later thought better of it and "unliked" it.
> 
> This feature should save the membership from spending valuable time and energy giving a poster a "like" that they may later come to regret.


It is very unlikely that this would actually be implemented.


----------



## Celloman

*TC Top Recommended Post-1950 Works: #41-50*

041. Shosty quoted from a bunch of other music because he ran out of ideas. What a dumb bunny.

042. If Barber wants to write serial music, why doesn't he make up his mind about it?

043. Ummm...did they leave the tapes running during the rehearsal? I hear people talking when they're supposed to be playing. And why in the world did they put the studio so close to a train station?

044. You could just write a regular violin concerto, but no, let's make it as weird as we possibly can. Jeez!

045. Oh! It's the interstellar birds again. Except this time we have to listen to them for five stinking hours.

046. Luto didn't like Bartok so he made another one of these just to get back at him. How do you like them apples?

047. All set? They didn't seem ready to me.

048. You're supposed to turn all the lights off when you perform this. I guess that's because you don't want to see the audience when they start making faces at you.

049. I don't hear any Formen.

050. Pretty demented stuff. There's a waltz for zombies in there. I don't want to hear it again cuz it freaked me out.


----------



## Blancrocher

**Posted in Area 51**

Hi Everybody! I was just reading through several posts here, and all of them seem to be about problems with other members and the mods. What amazes me is that nobody is dissing members of _other_ sites, since those people can't even read Area 51. This is our chance to make use of this advantage! That's RIGHT--this is the DISS MEMBERS OF OTHER FORUMS THREAD! You want to make an unfair attack on another forum and its membership, well here's the thread for you!! Go nuts!! Be mean!! And don't worry: what they don't know won't hurt them! That's right, folks--all the pleasures of trolling without any victims! (Until any of them join the forum, but never mind that.)


----------



## Dim7

*The title is self-explanatory*

Okay, so what are your opinions on the subject? Debate, discuss.


----------



## Celloman

Dim7 said:


> Okay, so what are your opinions on the subject? Debate, discuss.


edited by Taggart _(reason: housekeeping)_


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Housekeeping*

So that we don't constantly have to edit your posts, the moderation team asks that all members include at least one of each of the following words in their posts:
_Vacuum Cleaner
Feather Duster
Bleach
Damp Cloth
_
Your cooperation is appreciated.


----------



## Guest

I'm leaving TC. I've had enough.


----------



## Guest

Put the bunting away. I've changed my mind. 

********


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Today, I am not participating in a roaming amateur performance of Mahler's Symphony of a Thousand in the streets of my neighborhood together with my neighbors. We have not been practicing for weeks, since the event is not taking place.


Now that is indeed very logical, to not practice for an event that will not take place. Nothing stupid about that. Are you sure you posted this in the right thread?


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> I'm leaving TC. I've had enough.


I leave TC every night.

In the morning, I have forgotten why, so I'm back again every day.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Now that is indeed very logical, to not practice for an event that will not take place. Nothing stupid about that. Are you sure you posted this in the right thread?


Hm, I guess you're right. It was probably a stupid idea to post that here.


----------



## Sloe

TresPicos said:


> I leave TC every night.
> 
> In the morning, I have forgotten why, so I'm back again every day.


TC leaves me too often.


----------



## Blancrocher

TresPicos said:


> Hm, I guess you're right. It was probably a stupid idea to post that here.


I'm not sure I like the way the word "stupid" is being thrown around here. Shouldn't we be defining our terms? Are threads stupid in an absolute or subjective sense? Perhaps we need a "Stupid Thread Ideas - Discussion" Thread to talk things over before adding anything to this one. Just for a few years or so, till we come to some semblance of agreement.


----------



## hpowders

The Insecure Leave of Absence Thread.

Post No 1: I have permanently left TC and wish to thank my 71 TC friends such as.....
(line 133): .... but I want to assure you that I will be back posting again on Monday; Wednesday at the very latest.

Goodbye everyone!! 

See you soon!!


----------



## Dim7

*STIpid nationalism*

Some people say that the great divide here at TC is between musical modernists and anti-modernists. This is wrong! In reality the two most important groups are stupid or STIpid people vs. intelligent people. We morons of TC are a nation with a distinct identity from the rest of the TC members. We therefore demand our own autonomous group of subforums, with our own moderators and our own rules of conduct (basically a dumb version of the ToS of TC that encourages idiocy). Since we have always been at TC we have a right to be here and shouldn't have to make a site of our own. We need at least these subforums:

Surreal / Absurd / Paradoxical

Hate (general forum for negativity, insults and fighting)

Boring stuff

Indecency

4'33''

Stupid games

Stupid questions

Stupid feedback/suggestions

General

Sergeant


----------



## hpowders

Ingélou said:


> The 'Repository for all the thoughts that occur to you while The Site is down' thread... except that when TC pops up again, if you're like me, you'll have forgotten all of them.


I had a good response but they wouldn't allow it.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Leave of Absinthe


----------



## Dim7

Leave of Abstinence

Can abstinence be a musical instrument?


----------



## KenOC

I'm planning on leaving shortly, in a huff. I've been planning that for a long time and will continue to plan it. Unless something makes me _really _mad in the meantime, in which case I'll take a leave of abhorrence.


----------



## SimonNZ

Can waterboarding be a musical criticism?


----------



## Woodduck

Dim7 said:


> Leave of Abstinence
> 
> Can abstinence be a musical instrument?


Sure. If music be the food of love, play not.


----------



## Woodduck

Dim7 said:


> Some people say that the great divide here at TC is between musical modernists and anti-modernists. This is wrong! In reality the two most important groups are stupid or STIpid people vs. intelligent people. We morons of TC are a nation with a distinct identity from the rest of the TC members. We therefore demand our own autonomous group of subforums, with our own moderators and our own rules of conduct (basically a dumb version of the ToS of TC that encourages idiocy). Since we have always been at TC we have a right to be here and shouldn't have to make a site of our own. We need at least these subforums:
> 
> Surreal / Absurd / Paradoxical
> 
> Hate (general forum for negativity, insults and fighting)
> 
> Boring stuff
> 
> Indecency
> 
> 4'33''
> 
> Stupid games
> 
> Stupid questions
> 
> Stupid feedback/suggestions
> 
> General
> 
> Sergeant


If you create this the intelligent members will flock to it.


----------



## Albert7

Playing $600 for a used Anne Sophie-Mutter vinyl box set at a rip off swap meet.


----------



## Balthazar

Can spite be a musical instrument?

I'm thinking of starting a chamber group, and it's all I have to contribute.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Leave of Absolution (though I suppose that's just banning...)


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Leave of Abstinence
> 
> Can abstinence be a musical instrument?


Only in a fun way, not a true way.


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> Can spite be a musical instrument?
> 
> I'm thinking of starting a chamber group, and it's all I have to contribute.


Can I be second scathe?


----------



## Blancrocher

Woodduck said:


> If you create this the intelligent members will flock to it.


Just between us, Woodduck, that's our plan. And once they've done that we STIpid members intend to take over the regular forum once and for all.

I can't believe we all hatched such a good plot so late into our "margarita" meeting.


----------



## Blancrocher

Balthazar said:


> Can spite be a musical instrument?
> 
> I'm thinking of starting a chamber group, and it's all I have to contribute.


Is that a typo? You might want to check the thread about expectoral music.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Leave of Abstinence
> Can abstinence be a musical instrument?


To answer your question with another question, can incontinence due to absinthe be a musical instrument?


----------



## Celloman

These posts are not stupid enough. Posters will kindly refrain from engaging in intelligent conversation. Please follow the spirit of the OP or this thread will be closed.

Sincerely yours,
Krummhorn


----------



## Dim7

Celloman said:


> These posts are not stupid enough. Posters will kindly refrain from engaging in intelligent conversation. Please follow the spirit of the OP or this thread will be closed.
> 
> Sincerely yours,
> Krummhorn


Plagiarism! my post


----------



## Mahlerian

Hi TalkClassical. I'm stupid, and I see you have a thread set up just for me. But there's a problem. _I don't have any ideas!_ Want to help me out?


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> Hi TalkClassical. I'm stupid, and I see you have a thread set up just for me. But there's a problem. _I don't have any ideas!_ Want to help me out?


You can abuse your mod powers by copying somebody's thread idea and remove the evidence of plagiarism by deleting the original post.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Get it? *wink wink*


 Yes
 No
 **** ****** ** ****


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Can Music Be A Musical Instrument?

Poll: Can A Poll Be A Musical Instrument?

Poll: Can Water Be Drunk?

New member trying to give a f***


----------



## Guest

Can can?

............


----------



## Woodduck

dogen said:


> Can can?
> 
> ............


Often, Bach. .........


----------



## Celloman

Stupid variants of Community Forum threads

My 3,267th Post and Beyond

What Happens When You're Dead - Come in and share!

On this night...

Stupid sayings (and meanings) wanted!

Sad videos to stave off the happiness

The last thing you puked?

Death-day Wishes


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*'Dude, that's some weird meta **** going on'* : the thread into metaphysics that absolutely no one requested and won't possibly diverge into irreverent fights on recurring topics.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Woodduck said:


> Often, Bach. .........


. . . was a noted success.


----------



## Dim7

*TC Top recommended most laughably unfunny STIs*

Nominated:

1. Can a bee be a can?
2. Can 4'33'' be performed with a bee can?
3. Can 4'33'' be not performed?
4. Where is Haydn hiding?
5. Can you handle Handel?


----------



## Guest

Time for your lie down Dim.


----------



## Albert7

Frank Zappa look-a-like with the Mothers of Stupidity revival band.


----------



## Celloman

dogen said:


> Time for your lie down Dim.


For that, we need a "Dumbed-Down Mozart for Relaxation" thread!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 100 Recommended Polls

Nominated:

_Is Bach A Great Composer?_ - 2 - Trololol42
_Is Beethoven A Great Composer?_ - 1 - Trololol42
_Is Mozart A Great Composer?_ - 2 - SpicedHammer

Seconded:

_Can Prince Charles be a music instrument?_ - 9
_Do you like to buy mushrooms?_ - 14
_Favourite Beethoven Symphony - -1664329_
_Is Haydn A Great Composer?_ - 3
_Is Reger A Great Composer?_ - 5
_Is Zemlinsky A Great Composer?_ - 4
_Is Zimmermann A Great Composer?_ - 8
_Zylophones - Yay or Neigh?_ - 4


----------



## Dim7

TC Top 100+ Recommended Beethovens

Voting instructions: Vote for Beethoven

Nominated: 

Beethoven - 3 - TalkingHead
Beethoven - 2 - TalkingHead
Beethoven - 4 - TalkingHead

Seconded:

Beethoven - 230
Beethoven - 23
Beethoven - 2111


----------



## Guest

Pieces that have blown a gentle breeze around your ankles. Recently.


----------



## Albert7

TC Top 100+ Recommended Beethovens

Voting instructions: Vote for Beethoven

Nominated: 

Beethoven: Blowing up the spot quartet / Bettttt-hoven: Hovencraft Symphony No. 12
Beethoven - 12 - TalkingHead/Dim7
Beethoven - 2 - TalkingHead
Beethoven - 6 - TalkingHead/Albert7 (stuffing the ballot box)

Seconded:

Beethoven - 230.12
Beethoven - 23877.65
Beethoven - 211176687


----------



## hpowders

Urgent help needed!

Post no. 1: My wife is taking me to see Götterdämmerung-my choice-anywhere in the world for my birthday.
But the Prologue and Act One are like 2 freakin' hours long! I will never make it. My bladder will burst.
Does anyone know of an upcoming performance of this hellish work where they stop after say 1/2 hour so I can go to the bathroom?
My prostate thanks you!


----------



## Kivimees

The greatest works I've never heard.


----------



## hpowders

Another Solti Wagner Ring!

Post No. 1: Good Lord! How old is this dude already?


----------



## hpowders

This thread is too busy at the moment. Please try again later.


----------



## hpowders

My interest in classical music is accelerando but my funds are ritardando. Suggestions?


----------



## Kivimees

hpowders said:


> My interest in classical music is accelerando but my funds are ritardando. Suggestions?


Visit the banca with a pistola.


----------



## Dim7

*Mahler 3rd Symphony with intermission*

I was yesterday listening a performance of Mahler's 3rd symphony at concert. After the first movement, the conductor turned towards us the audience and announced that before continuing with the symphony some of us had to infiltrate the headquartets of a certain criminal organization and bring a secret document without getting caught. The symphony had to be interrupted for several days when many of us in the audience tried to accomplish this mission nearly impossible but failed and lost their lives - I was the last one to try and being the awesome badass I am I actually succeeded. But still, while I think it's fine to sometimes challenge the audience, isn't this taking it a bit too far? Also is this something Mahler intended or is it one of the more "out there" modern interpretations?


----------



## omega

Maximianno Cobra plans a fifteen-minute intermissions in his performance of Mahler's Third. Between _every_ movement. The performance is expected to last around four hours.
Your reaction to this?


----------



## omega

omega said:


> Maximianno Cobra plans a fifteen-minute intermissions in his performance of Mahler's Third. Between _every_ movement. The performance is expected to last around four hours.
> Your reaction to this?


Well, every cook will say that a piece of meat needs to rest for the same amount of time which it has been cooking for. So why not consider making a half-an-hour intermission after the first movement?


----------



## omega

MoonlightSonata said:


> _Can Prince Charles be a music instrument?_ - 9












His Royal Highness playing Mahler's Sixth.


----------



## Celloman

*Stupid variants on Classical Music Discussion threads*

Random thoughts and discoveries that deserve a whole forum to themselves

TC Top Recommended Post-1950 Works - Vetoing

Currently Not Listening Vol III

Pieces That You Have Blown Away Recently

Can Whiskey Be a Musical Instrument?

What earworm is thankfully _not_ going through your head right now?


----------



## Albert7

Composing Pieces Which Do Not Exist at All. Or Has That Been Done Already?


----------



## SimonNZ

omega said:


> His Royal Highness playing Mahler's Sixth.


Good to see Charles favors "authentic" instruments, using the old materials and craftsmanship


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> ...
> What earworm is thankfully _not_ going through your head right now?


Correction - _was_ not going through your head, is now.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Correction - _was_ not going through your head, is now.


Instead of earworms... name pieces that make you decide to put an electric drill through your head and give you a headache.


----------



## Dim7

(Posted in Technical Support)

My head keeps disappearing and sometimes I fall through the ground. Are you guys doing anything to fix these glitches?


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> I was yesterday listening a performance of Mahler's 3rd symphony at concert. After the first movement, the conductor turned towards us the audience and announced that before continuing with the symphony some of us had to infiltrate the headquartets of a certain criminal organization and bring a secret document without getting caught. The symphony had to be interrupted for several days when many of us in the audience tried to accomplish this mission nearly impossible but failed and lost their lives - I was the last one to try and being the awesome badass I am I actually succeeded. But still, while I think it's fine to sometimes challenge the audience, isn't this taking it a bit too far? Also is this something Mahler intended or is it one of the more "out there" modern interpretations?


What you experienced was a normal performance of Mahler's 3rd symphony. That said, it has probably never been performed in that manner. Confused? Well, there is an explanation...

At times, Mahler could be quite the prankster. Musically, this is most evident in the third symphony, for which Mahler wrote performance instructions calling for "ein Ereignis mit unerwarteter Spaß mit dem Publikum" (an event with unexpected fun with the audience). Since the 1960s, the symphony has often been supplied with the label "Happening".

Mahler didn't specify the exact nature of the wished jokes and surprises, so no two performances are usually alike. In the first performance of the complete work in 1902 (conducted by Mahler himself), Mahler had separated the front half of the orchestra from the rear half, and at the end of the first movement, a horse-drawn carriage set on fire raced across the stage. The "Spaß" of the subsequent movements consisted of a line of can-can girls, two ostriches running free in the concert hall, a group of clowns tickling members of the audience and an accordionist having his accordion taken away and smashed to pieces.

Typically one third of the performances of Mahler's 3rd result in casualties, which makes it a quite controversial work. It has been banned by some concert halls and even in some countries (e g Norway). Other concert halls play it safe and only perform the music itself, without any of the stipulated antics. In some places, the audience is asked to sign liability waivers before the performance.

Personally, I've been to one music-only performance of Mahler's 3rd here in Sweden, and one performance true to Mahler's intentions in the Concertgebouw in Amsterdam. In the middle of the third movement, it started raining confetti, but the confetti were actually small invitations to a treasure hunt! Part of a citrus-flavored chewing gum had been hidden in one of the instruments on the stage, and the first audience member to get hold of the gum would win the equivalent of $280,000. Total mayhem followed, but I stayed in my seat, quite perplexed. I don't understand Dutch, so at first I had no idea what was going on, and when I finally had it explained to me, it seemed too late for me to participate. Most instruments were smashed to pieces and at least 50 people were rushed to hospital. However, I'm sure Mahler would have been proud!


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite composer born in 2011.


----------



## Albert7

TresPicos said:


> What you experienced was a normal performance of Mahler's 3rd symphony. That said, it has probably never been performed in that manner. Confused? Well, there is an explanation...
> 
> At times, Mahler could be quite the prankster. Musically, this is most evident in the third symphony, for which Mahler wrote performance instructions calling for "ein Ereignis mit unerwarteter Spaß mit dem Publikum" (an event with unexpected fun with the audience). Since the 1960s, the symphony has often been supplied with the label "Happening".
> 
> Mahler didn't specify the exact nature of the wished jokes and surprises, so no two performance are usually alike. In the first performance of the complete work in 1902 (conducted by Mahler himself), Mahler had separated the front half of the orchestra from the rear half, and at the end of the first movement, a horse-drawn carriage set on fire raced across the stage. The "Spaß" of the subsequent movements consisted of a line of can-can girls, two ostriches running free in the concert hall, a group of clowns tickling members of the audience and an accordionist having his accordion taken away and smashed to pieces.
> 
> Typically one third of the performances of Mahler's 3rd result in casualties, which makes it a quite controversial work. It has been banned by some concert halls and even in some countries (e g Norway). Other concert halls play it safe and only perform the music itself, without any of the stipulated antics. In some places, the audience is asked to sign liability waivers before the performance.
> 
> Personally, I've been to one music-only performance of Mahler's 3rd here in Sweden, and one performance true to Mahler's intentions in the Concertgebouw in Amsterdam. In the middle of the third movement, it started raining confetti, but the confetti were actually small invitations to a treasure hunt! Part of a citrus-flavored chewing gum had been hidden in one of the instruments on the stage, and the first audience member to get hold of the gum would win the equivalent of $280,000. Total mayhem followed, but I stayed in my seat, quite perplexed. I don't understand Dutch, so at first I had no idea what was going on, and when I finally had it explained to me, it seemed to late for me to participate. Most instruments were smashed to pieces and at least 50 people were rushed to hospital. However, I'm sure Mahler would have been proud!


Any explanation requiring over 10 words could incur the ban hammer. I don't have time to read these things .

Where is Hemingway please?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> What you experienced was a normal performance of Mahler's 3rd symphony. That said, it has probably never been performed in that manner. Confused? Well, there is an explanation...
> 
> At times, Mahler could be quite the prankster. Musically, this is most evident in the third symphony, for which Mahler wrote performance instructions calling for "ein Ereignis mit unerwarteter Spaß mit dem Publikum" (an event with unexpected fun with the audience). Since the 1960s, the symphony has often been supplied with the label "Happening".


Now that explains it, if it's just a prank meant to confuse the audience. Intermissions (as in interrupting missions) are commonplace in operas, which makes sense since they make the audience feel more involved with the plot, but this was the first time I attended a performance of a symphony were the audience was sent on a James Bondesque mission.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TC Top Recommended Composers Born in the 21st Century

*Nominated:*
Alma Deutscher (2005) - 2 - ArtMusic

*Seconded:*
MoonlightSonata (2001) - 42,424,242


----------



## hpowders

The greatest 100 orchestral masterpieces of the early 21st century.


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> Your favorite composer born in 2011.


Too many composers were born that year. Make it 2015.


----------



## hpowders

Novice here: How come cello dudes get to sit when they solo concertos?


----------



## hpowders

New poster here: Not a troll: Why is classical music so damn boring?


----------



## SimonNZ

New poster here: Not a troll:

Adolf Hitler liked classical music and you all like classical music, so...


----------



## KenOC

SimonNZ said:


> New poster here: Not a troll:
> 
> Adolf Hitler liked classical music and you all like classical music, so...


...so that makes us racist genocidal monsters. And welcome to the forum, you'll get along just fine here!


----------



## SimonNZ

_I'm reporting you for responding to my perfectly civil question with such insult and negativity

...As per the ToS_


----------



## Becca

hpowders said:


> Novice here: How come cello dudes get to sit when they solo concertos?


Hemorrhoids.....


----------



## KenOC

SimonNZ said:


> _I'm reporting you for responding to my perfectly civil question with such insult and negativity
> 
> ...As per the ToS_


Hey, just trying to make you feel welcome! Did I answer your question wrong?


----------



## Celloman

New member here. I'm currently attending a class in logic and I made this analysis for my final grade:

Jane enjoys listening to Bruckner.

Bruckner aspired to the music of Wagner.

Wagner was Hitler's favorite composer.

*therefore...*

Jane is a Nazi.

Is this correct? Thanks for your help!


----------



## Dim7

Wagner was a musical progressive of his time.

Wagner was an anti-semite and admired by Hitler (in other words, a Nazi).

Therefore:
*Today's musical progressives/modernists are Nazis of our time.*

Correct?


----------



## Celloman

Dim7 said:


> Wagner was a musical progressive of his time.
> 
> Wagner was an anti-semite and admired by Hitler (in other words, a Nazi).
> 
> Therefore:
> *Today's musical progressives/modernists are Nazis of our time.*
> 
> Correct?


Ya wohl!..........................................


----------



## Dim7

Pieces that you expected to be somewhat bland, but were in fact extremely bland

Pieces that impressed and blew you away with their blandness


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> TC Top Recommended Composers Born in the 21st Century
> 
> *Nominated:*
> Alma Deutscher (2005) - 2 - ArtMusic
> 
> *Seconded:*
> MoonlightSonata (2001) - 42,424,242


Hell, that's absolutely hilarious dude.

I will vote you in MSONATA!


----------



## hpowders

Becca said:


> Hemorrhoids.....


I'm surprised the TC governing body hasn't banned the H word. I expected ***********

Thanks for the answer. At least now I know why. I thought it was a seniority thing.


----------



## hpowders

I tried TC and really hate it here. What's the best way to leave?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed.

Post No. 1: I didn't know Rachmaninov did all night vigils. What channel is that on? Is he taking the place of Jerry Lewis' all night telethon?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> I'm surprised the TC governing body hasn't banned the H word. I expected ***********
> 
> Thanks for the answer. At least now I know why. I thought it was a seniority thing.


The Preparation H Symphony must be avoided at all costs.


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> I tried TC and really hate it here. What's the best way to leave?


Send me a PM with your password before you go. I will maintain your post count record for a small monthly fee.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I'm surprised the TC governing body hasn't banned the H word. I expected ***********
> 
> Thanks for the answer. At least now I know why. I thought it was a seniority thing.


The H word? You mean hp*wders?


----------



## hpowders

New poster on the Opera Forum. Not a troll.

Post no. 1: Honestly now, how can you listen to this crap?


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> Send me a PM with your password before you go. I will maintain your post count record for a small monthly fee.


I can write out 1000 posts or so in advance. That way I can free up some time to visit the Florida swamp towns to spread the good word about classical music and opera.


----------



## hpowders

*The J.S. Bach Gratitude Thread*

Post No. 1: I am a guy, living alone for the last 17 years with no prospects in sight.

I just want to thank J.S. Bach for showing me how my organ works.

Please discuss your experiences with Bach.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> New poster on the Opera Forum. Not a troll.
> 
> Post no. 1: Honestly now, how can you listen to this crap?


However sincerely this is meant, don't bother. It got deleted previously.


----------



## Albert7

Best elevator lift classical gem overlooked for a compilation.


----------



## Ishi

In 1800, Beethoven was composing...
Now he's just decomposing


----------



## Albert7

Bartok fuzzy ambient noise CD sold at the local art gallery here in SLC.


----------



## hpowders

Ishi said:


> In 1800, Beethoven was composing...
> Now he's just decomposing


As we all will be some day....

Just some living dude's fertilizer he bought from Home Depot.


----------



## omega

*Quick help needed!*

I've just smuggled myself into the meeting where the Berlin Philharmonic are electing their new conductor. It's my turn and they are asking me for my opinion. They are becoming very insistant... What should I answer?


----------



## hpowders

Can you tell from Beethoven's music when he started to seriously lose his hearing?
Please include examples from musical scores to support your arguments.


----------



## hpowders

I've only been on TC for a few months, but have made a lot of friends, so is there a place you guys have on TC for making a nice long farewell speech?

Post no. 1: If I make a convincing speech that I am leaving, is this binding? Can I come back if I change my mind in a few hours?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Disappearing suddenly and finding yourself high in the sky in a falling down tea party with famous composers - it happens to all of us every now and then, but how do you feel about it?


 It's cool!
 I can't stand it, it's really scary!
 Depends on the composers
 I find it rather unpleasant but have learned to accept it as an inevitable part of life
 I find it icky when we crash into that huge pudding
 The pudding is the best part 
 I'd rather fall into pea soup
 It's really annoying how it interrupts daily activities - explaining where you've gone is pretty tough
 There's just not enough time to discuss properly with the composers, so it's kinda pointless


----------



## Dim7

This deletion has been posted.


----------



## omega

Breaking news: Leif Segerstam has been chosen by the BPO as conductor _ad vitam aeternam_. Do you think it will be enough for him to conduct his own symphonic cycle of 200-or-more symphonies ?


----------



## hpowders

Why Rachmaninov's all night vigil-was his wife in labor/labour?


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite Boulez tone poems?


----------



## shangoyal

How many leitmotifs do you need to convict a murderer?


----------



## Dim7

shangoyal said:


> How many leitmotifs do you need to convict a murderer?


I hate my leitmotif... I try to maintain a dark & edgy type of persona but it's very difficult when my theme song is Britney Spears' "Oops I did it again". Always starts playing when I enter the scene.


----------



## shangoyal

Dim7 said:


> I hate my leitmotif... I try to maintain a dark & edgy type of persona but it's very difficult when my theme song is Britney Spears' "Oops I did it again". Always starts playing when I enter the scene.


It's impossible to write that song into any other music, ever. At least you stand alone.


----------



## Dim7

Advice on finding hermaphrodite enemies


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dear TC,
I'm afraid the time has come for me to leave.
It's been lovely to meet new people, and learn so much about music, but alas, I need to buy some eggs. I'll just pop off to the shops and get some, it won't take me ten minutes.
Regards,
MoonlightSonata


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Dear TC,
> I'm afraid the time has come for me to leave.
> It's been lovely to meet new people, and learn so much about music, but alas, I need to buy some eggs. I'll just pop off to the shops and get some, it won't take me ten minutes.
> Regards,
> MoonlightSonata


Don't chicken out. Please come back. Nobody tells better yolks than you!


----------



## Celloman

New member here, wondering if you could help me with a question. There's this Classical composer named Beethaven but I can't find anything about him anywhere! He must be really obscure, because I google his name and it doesn't come up. The search engine keeps redirecting me to someone called "Beethoven" for some reason. Can someone help me with this, thanks!


----------



## SimonNZ

hpowders said:


> Why Rachmaninov's all night vigil-was his wife in labor/labour?


Rachmaninov had his wife in labour while she was in labor?!!

What a ba$tard! I shall never listen to his music again!


----------



## hpowders

SimonNZ said:


> Rachmaninov had his wife in labour while she was in labor?!!
> 
> What a ba$tard! I shall never listen to his music again!


Why else would he have had an all-night vigil? Anyhow, I won't be-labor/labour the point.


----------



## hpowders

Which has been better over the years-being a starving artist or a starving composer?

Post no 1: Provide anecdotal examples to support your positions, and please, I beg you, no rancor/rancour.


----------



## hpowders

Can you tell a composer's astrological sign from the music he's composed?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Can you tell a composer's astrological sign from the music he's composed?


That may have been done already... you have Stockhausen's Sirius...

or the Joker's quote... WHY SO SIRIUS?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> That may have been done already... you have Stockhausen's Sirius...
> 
> or the Joker's quote... WHY SO SIRIUS?


I'm laughing so hard I'm falling to Pisces.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata you gave me a knee slapper tonight.

Thanks for the good laughs...


----------



## Polyphemus

Why did Pender wreck me head with his neo classical B S.


----------



## hpowders

Somebody likes all my posts and I want to reciprocate, but I've already liked all his posts.

Post no. 1: What should I do? Take him out to dinner? Buy him a CD?


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Somebody likes all my posts and I want to reciprocate, but I've already liked all his posts.
> 
> Post no. 1: What should I do? Take him out to dinner? Buy him a CD?


Unlike them all.

Then you can like them all over again.


----------



## Albert7

Polyphemus said:


> Why did Pender wreck me head with his neo classical B S.


Pandering to Pender is a vice.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I'm laughing so hard I'm falling to Pisces.


 I feel like I'm on the Virgo of composing many interesting posts.

Be so as it may, I'm going outside to get some Aries.


----------



## Mahlerian

hpowders said:


> I feel like I'm on the Virgo of composing many interesting posts.
> 
> Be so as it may, I'm going outside to get some Aries.


In the future, these awful jokes will be considered the thing that Taurus apart as a forum.


----------



## Ingélou

But in the meantime, cracking them is so Libra-ting.


----------



## Guest

^ Hmm, I find them a Cancer-ous blight on the TC landscape.


----------



## hpowders

Management Petition:

We the undersigned are requesting that each Community Forum post counts as two added to a person's post total.
It is much more difficult to reveal personal things about oneself on a public forum than simply posting impersonal things about music.

(Please electronically sign this form)


----------



## hpowders

Mahlerian said:


> In the future, these awful jokes will be considered the thing that Taurus apart as a forum.


What jokes? I didn't have my reading glasses on.

OMG!! I really did make an awful spectacle of myself!!

Meanwhile, I have grown very close to my last 11,000 posts-those gems-n-i.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

This googleplex of Zodiac punning is so astrologically complicated.


----------



## Ingélou

TalkingHead said:


> ^ Hmm, I find them a Cancer-ous blight on the TC landscape.


No - a sparkling pun is a *gem in i*deas-laden threads like this.


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> In the future, these awful jokes will be considered the thing that Taurus apart as a forum.


Helo from the future, just came to say that this is exctly what hapened (or will happen from your perspektive).

Last edited by Dim7; Tomorrow at 20:13. *Reason*: added some spelling mistakes


----------



## TresPicos

P-*Leo*-se, may I *Sagitt a rius* of old stupid thread ideas before taking to these ridiculous astrological puns that will *Scor pio*-rely in the books of morons!


----------



## Blancrocher

Oh God, just kill me now.


----------



## Guest

Your wish is my command, Master. Please, I have set up the sword for you. Just fall this way, if you'd be so kind ...


----------



## hpowders

I'm investing in a viola da gamba factory (5000 units per week), so does anyone know a first rate advertising agency that would be most ingenious in getting the word out to the public? PM me please.


----------



## TresPicos

What should we do for post #5000? Any suggestions? A poll, maybe? More puns?

Do you want to buy this space? PM me!

Perhaps we should just relax a bit, before the journey continues toward post #10000...


----------



## Dim7

Leave of Obscene

Pieces that you expected to become a prime numbered (2nd, 3rd, 7th etc.) favorite in that genre, but instead became a (multiply of 6)th favorite


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> Oh God, just kill me now.


Okay, so TalkingHead, TresPicos and Ingélou want you dead.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> P-*Leo*-se, may I *Sagitt a rius* of old stupid thread ideas before taking to these ridiculous astrological puns that will *Scor pio*-rely in the books of morons!


Oh no! I've missed all these (Capri)corny puns while I was asleep!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Pieces that you expected to become a prime numbered (2nd, 3rd, 7th etc.) favorite in that genre, but instead became a (multiply of 6)th favorite


That depends. Do you count 1 as prime?
A much larger category would be pieces I thought would be a triangular-numbered-favourite out of all works by composers starting with the same letter, but turned out to be Fibonacci numbers instead.


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> Okay, so TalkingHead, TresPicos and Ingélou want you dead.


Not at all - used in the metaphorical sense. Jokes _to die for_ that will just _kill_ him! 
_(As for the Elizabethan usage of 'dying' - I'm not going there!)_


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Okay, so TalkingHead, TresPicos and Ingélou want you dead.


No, no, I just want him to _get the message_.


----------



## Guest

The Swimming Pool Fun Thread.

Stand around with your mates whilst relieving yourself.
But it's OK as long as you keep your costume on.


----------



## Celloman

The Self-Referential Thread


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> The Self-Referential Thread


A Self-Referential Reply Written in Red Text


----------



## Dim7

This sentence in no shape or form refers to itself or to self-reference.


----------



## Dim7

TC Top 100+ Most Strongly Felt About Pieces

Voting instructions: Nominate and give points to pieces based on their "absolute value" (as in mathematics), only according to how strongly you feel about them but disregarding whether this feeling is positive or negative, in other words vote for both your most loved and most hated works.


----------



## Albert7

Somebody stuffed the ballot box with votes for Havergal Brian.


----------



## Dim7

Piano transcriptions of Albert7's STIs by Franz Liszt


----------



## Albert7

Trumpet concertos to clear the nasal passages by.


----------



## hpowders

List your favorite classical music forums that don't have technical breakdowns.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> List your favorite classical music forums that don't have technical breakdowns.


Ooh that's a toughie.


----------



## hpowders

If I make a speech that I am leaving TC and then decide to come back, do I make a speech after I come back to inform the poster-hood?


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> If I make a speech that I am leaving TC and then decide to come back, do I make a speech after I come back to inform the poster-hood?


Why not take a leaf out of that FaceTube thing? - use your signature to show your status. e.g. "Status: self-banned; see you all Tuesday."


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here. Anyone know anything about a new Callas boxed set?


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Newbie here. Anyone know anything about a new Callas boxed set?


That sounds interesting. Why not start a thread on it?


----------



## Morimur

Why was Messiaen's music so colorful and why did he use such loud, tacky colors? None of it matches!

You agree, right?

:wave:


----------



## Morimur

J.S. Bach — devout christian or undercover satanist?


----------



## Dim7

How to make classical music more muscular

Culling all classical performers....!

Leave of Nonsense

Poll: Do you prefer?
-Agree
-Disagree
-Disaggregate
-Disable
-Ensure
-Don't know how to vote in polls
-Doctor Who cares


----------



## hpowders

This is crazy!!

Post no. 1: I go to bars and as soon as I mention that I'm into classical music, the females usually say "I have to go to the bathroom" and they never return. How can I be successful with the opposite sex like you guys must be?


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> This is crazy!!
> 
> Post no. 1: I go to bars and as soon as I mention that I'm into classical music, the females usually say "I have to go to the bathroom" and they never return. How can I be successful with the opposite sex like you guys must be?


Are you sure they are not saying "I have to go to the Bach room" and then wait for you to follow them (which you never do)?


----------



## hpowders

For only $19 a month; 63 cents a day, send the gift of classical music to a child. 

Post No. 1: Show them that you care! Send your love to the rescue!


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Are you sure they are not saying "I have to go to the Bach room" and then wait for you there waiting for you to appear (which you never do)?


Yeah I'm 100.567% sure they don't say "Bach room". Maybe in another galaxy.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> What should we do for post #5000? Any suggestions? A poll, maybe? More puns?
> 
> Do you want to buy this space? PM me!
> 
> Perhaps we should just relax a bit, before the journey continues toward post #10000...
> 
> View attachment 69581


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

I have a theory-I notice only about 3-5 regular posters on STI-could it be they are the only ones who comprehend the acutely intellectual humor/humour at play there?

(Ouch! I think I just bruised my femor/femour!)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I have a theory-I notice only about 3-5 regular posters on STI-could it be they are the only ones who comprehend the acutely intellectual humor/humour at play there?
> 
> (Ouch! I think I just bruised my femor/femour!)


But ouf corse, hpouwders. STI humour/humor is rigourosly intellectual, and sou ounly thouse ouf sondest mind join the dialogue/dialog.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> But ouf corse, hpouwders. STI humour/humor is rigourosly intellectual, and sou ounly thouse ouf sondest mind join the dialogue/dialog.


That's how I write when I can't find my glasses....but then I discover them and fill each with a heavy dose of bourbon.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> This is crazy!!
> 
> Post no. 1: I go to bars and as soon as I mention that I'm into classical music, the females usually say "I have to go to the bathroom" and they never return. How can I be successful with the opposite sex like you guys must be?


Have some standards for God's sake! Females with such disgusting bodily functions surely are beneath you anyway?


----------



## Guest

You can have a bath in a bar??!!


----------



## Dim7

Poll: To those who are just about to puke... (read before vomiting)

Stuporous Thread Ideas


----------



## Dim7

Which nationality is the master race? Debate, discuss. Keep it civil, no rancour.

What esteemed classical pieces evoke revolting images? Debase, disgust.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

"_Concerto Puerile_" for 6 elementary-aged children, 6 pots, 5 pans, 8 sticks, and arranged household items.

For authenticity purposes, this is best performed in the living room when little Johnny's parents are eating supper.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Have some standards for God's sake! Females with such disgusting bodily functions surely are beneath you anyway?


I never looked at it that way. I always thought they were just giving me an excuse to dump me and instead they were actually taking a dump!


----------



## hpowders

New here. Not a troll.
Given the numbers, it's obvious pop music is superior to classical, so why are you dudes listening to these dead museum pieces?


----------



## Woodduck

DiesIraeVIX said:


> "_Concerto Puerile_" for 6 elementary-aged children, 6 pots, 5 pans, 8 sticks, and arranged household items.
> 
> For authenticity purposes, this is best performed in the living room when little Johnny's parents are eating supper.


It's your lucky day! The subject has just come up over on another thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/37913-how-make-classical-music-5.html and following.

Mahlerian and I are arm-wrestling about it right this minute. You're invited to a ringside seat.


----------



## KenOC

Are there performances that deserve capital punishment? Discuss methods.


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> New here. Not a troll.
> Given the numbers, it's obvious pop music is superior to classical, so why are you dudes listening to these dead museum pieces?


We're just waiting for the tide to turn.

Eventually, the fad will fade and pop music will become unpop music. People might briefly take to jazz, but then they will reconnect with classical music, which has been there all along, waiting for them.

Our time will come! TC will have millions and millions of members, and experienced classical music listeners will be looked upon with awe and admiration.


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> That sounds interesting. Why not start a thread on it?


I will take your suggestion under consideration. Why does Callas gets snubbed around here?


----------



## Dim7

Dear mods,

I want to be known as a heroic rebellious martyr here at TC. Could you please enforce some really oppressive rules/restrictions and after I've objected to them ban me immediately, making it clear to everyone that I was banned simply for voicing my opinion. Thanks.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Dim7 said:


> Dear mods,
> 
> I want to be known as a heroic rebellious martyr here at TC. Could you please enforce some really oppressive rules/restrictions and after I've objected to them ban me immediately, making it clear to everyone that I was banned simply for voicing my opinion. Thanks.


Sounds like something _Science_ would be interested in.


----------



## TresPicos

Stupid thread ideas that you never posted in the Stupid Thread Ideas thread, and why

Anti-matter in classical music - will it ever be used, and in which genres?

Metal umlaut - from Bohuslav Martinů to Mötley Crüe

So, when I was out walking last night, I was offered to buy a cello for $20,000, and I said no because I don't play the cello and I have no use for it, but then the guy in the alley told me I could have three celli for $50,000, and I told him I'd think about it, but I've almost made up my mind, because I would get that third cello at half price, which sounds really good, so do you all think I should go for it?

Using classical music as an excuse for abhorrent behavior - tell us your stories!

Neglecting to use abhorrent behavior as an excuse for classical music - tell us your stories!

Great grandparents of famous composers


----------



## MoonlightSonata

_the excessive sad depressing negativity thread      _


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: First somebody says composer/piece/style/whatever X is [negative adjective]. Then somebody says that no it's not [negative adjective]. Then somebody says that nobody has to like X. Then somebody says that nobody implied that in the first place, but neither can anyone say that X is [negative adjective] for everybody. Then somebody says that we were talking about subjective experience all along. Then everyone can blame each other in turns for forcing his/her musical taste on others, and when they get bored they can change the X they are talking about and start all over again.

Having your body parts spontaneously disintegrate and then spin wildly in the air during concerts - how do you deal with these kind of situations?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Having your body parts spontaneously disintegrate and then spin wildly in the air during concerts - how do you deal with these kind of situations?


When that happens, you just have to wait until the body-part monster appears to collect them. Then, you have to buy them back by offering him cheap stationery.


----------



## Albert7

Or why does Tebaldi get name dropped like a WWF participant around here too?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Stupid thread ideas that you never posted in the Stupid Thread Ideas thread, and why


Well here's my list. The reason I think is rather self-explanatory:

**** **** ** ***
***** ****
***** ******
***** ****
********* **
**** *** ****** ***
******


----------



## KenOC

If somebody pets their cat when listening to Mozart, are they plotting world domination?


----------



## Sloe

KenOC said:


> If somebody pets their cat when listening to Mozart, are they plotting world domination?


I pet my cat now but I listen to Verdi.


----------



## Celloman

KenOC said:


> If somebody pets their cat when listening to Mozart, are they plotting world domination?


No, but they might ask you to call them "Godfather".


----------



## Albert7

KenOC said:


> If somebody pets their cat when listening to Mozart, are they plotting world domination?


Well you must be watching Dr. Evil in Austin Powers going nuts for his one zillionbillzailllion dollars.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> I will take your suggestion under consideration. Why does Callas gets snubbed around here?


Talentless flunky.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here. 

Post No. 1: Not a troll. How does one appreciate atonal music when everyone knows it's just random noise?
Discuss with examples from score without rancor/rancour.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> We're just waiting for the tide to turn.
> 
> Eventually, the fad will fade and pop music will become unpop music. People might briefly take to jazz, but then they will reconnect with classical music, which has been there all along, waiting for them.
> 
> Our time will come! TC will have millions and millions of members, and experienced classical music listeners will be looked upon with awe and admiration.


Yes! Yes! Key up the final coda of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony!!


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> Talentless flunky.


It's all Greek to me!


----------



## hpowders

The hpowders composers' poll: Please choose either the regular menu of composers or a la carte, if you wish.


----------



## hpowders

How often are you supposed to turn over your Friends' List?

Post No. 1: I've been doing it every six weeks. Too often? Not often enough?


----------



## Celloman

*Callas Fans Confessional Thread*

(from poster named callas4ever)

Brethren,

I have sinned. I have gone a whole hour without once listening to *La Divina*. I beseech you to absolve me of this heinous crime. I shall repent and listen to all of the 1952 Rome recordings as penance for my unworthy behavior toward the One True Goddess of opera - may she ever be praised! I shall not listen to those abhorrent "false gods" such as Sutherland, or Freni, or Tebaldi, or any of the other apostates until the stars grow cold or my hand shall be cut off and I shall suffer a million horrible deaths for all eternity. Amen.


----------



## Dim7

Post Here And Have Your Post Edited Into Something Embarrassing By The Mods


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> *Callas Fans Confessional Thread*
> 
> (from poster named callas4ever)
> 
> Brethren,
> 
> I have sinned. I have gone a whole hour without once listening to *La Divina*. I beseech you to absolve me of this heinous crime. I shall repent and listen to all of the 1952 Rome recordings as penance for my unworthy behavior toward the One True Goddess of opera - may she ever be praised! I shall not listen to those abhorrent "false gods" such as Sutherland, or Freni, or Tebaldi, or any of the other apostates until the stars grow cold or my hand shall be cut off and I shall suffer a million horrible deaths for all eternity. Amen.


Who's callous?


----------



## Kivimees

hpowders said:


> The hpowders composers' poll: Please choose either the regular menu of composers or a la carte, if you wish.


If I order the special, do I get a choice of salad?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Post Here And Have Your Post Edited Into Something Embarrassing By The Mods


Or summarily deleted without explanation or appeal. It's like not existing but slightly irritating as well.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Or summarily deleted without explanation or appeal. It's like not existing but slightly irritating as well.


That was my "Black hole" STI.


----------



## omega

hpowders said:


> The hpowders composers' poll: Please choose either the regular menu of composers or a la carte, if you wish.


Any gluten-free composers ?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Who's callous?


He was in Julius Caesar. Brutus, Callous and Cleopatra.


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> The hpowders composers' poll: Please choose either the regular menu of composers or a la carte, if you wish.


Does Satie's _3 Morceaux en forme de poire_ count as a side?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> That was my "Black hole" STI.


I missed that. Was it deleted?


----------



## Dim7

Fake Drama Thread: Everybody deliberately gets 'offended' for petty reasons and start fighting about something completely inconsequential

Hmm, wait a minute.....


----------



## SimonNZ

..................................


----------



## SimonNZ

...................................


----------



## MoonlightSonata

What to say to a Mozart-hating ignoramus wielding an axe?


----------



## Dim7

SimonNZ said:


> ..................................


My favorite so far.



Dim7 said:


> Hmm, wait a minute.....


Almost as good!!


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> What to say to a Mozart-hating ignoramus wielding an axe?


That would be an episode of Games of Nichtnehmusik.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here:

Post no 1: Not a troll. Which works faster than an Ambien tablet? Schubert's symphonies or Schubert's masses?
Please discuss without rancor/rancour in a mature unemotional manner.


----------



## Dim7

Hindrance needed, Classical Newbie



Dim7 said:


> Almost as good!!


Now that is just hilarious thread idea!


----------



## hpowders

The Ultimate TC Contest: Theme and Variations!!

Post No. 1: Choose the main topic theme and actual number of re-worded topics based on this theme asking the exact same thing to be discussed since January 1st, 2011.

The winner gets a special 4 digit code which when entered will bypass all TC technical breakdowns for one year, just like the big boys have.


----------



## hpowders

What to say to someone stating "Beethoven was one ugly dude!"


----------



## hpowders

Opera Discussion Section:

Was Taylor Swift the greatest singer ever?


----------



## hpowders

Was hpowders the greatest poster of the 21 century?


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> The Ultimate TC Contest: Theme and Variations!!
> 
> Post No. 1: Choose the main topic theme and actual number of re-worded topics based on this theme asking the exact same thing to be discussed since January 1st, 2011.
> 
> The winner gets a special 4 digit code which when entered will bypass all TC technical breakdowns for one year, just like the big boys have.


Ooooh!!! Maria Callas: 1117 threads???


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Fake Drama Thread: Everybody deliberately gets 'offended' for petty reasons and start fighting about something completely inconsequential
> 
> Hmm, wait a minute.....


Yes. That description should be in the prospective TC member brochure.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Was hpowders the greatest poster of the 21 century?


His early work was pure genius. But then of course it was all tragically lost in The Great Glitch. It so traumatised him that his subsequent work has been arrant nonsense. A terrible waste.


----------



## scratchgolf

Please describe all the ways and reasons you hate Composer X. Spare us no details and feel free to be repetitive. Composer X loved his repeats. If a year has passed and not every person on TC knows you hate Composer X, start over and try again. Take advantage of spreading your message in as many threads as possible. Even if Composer X wasn't mentioned there yet. Be sure to make frequent mentions of your listening experience, as it builds credibility. Finally, and this is the big one, if someone has the audacity to return to topic or disagree with your findings, run them over. They should know better than to stand on the tracks when the train is coming through.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Yes! Yes! Key up the final coda of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony!!


Speaking of key ups and pop music... I've always wondered why not just ditch the verse, intro/outro and middle-eight of a pop music and just repeat the chorus over and over again with a modulation up a halfstep each time. Chorus is the only part of a pop song anyone cares about, and if that halfstep modulation sounds good once, it surely would sound good multiple times, right?


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Speaking of key ups and pop music... I've always wondered why not just ditch the verse, intro/outro and middle-eight of a pop music and just repeat the chorus over and over again with a modulation up a halfstep each time. Chorus is the only part of a pop song anyone cares about, and if that halfstep modulation sounds good once, it surely would sound good multiple times, right?


I know there was an example of a time I heard the half-step modulation thing used more than once in short succession, but I've blocked it out of my memory, apparently, because I can't remember where it was.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Ooooh!!! Maria Callas: 1117 threads???


No, I've got a better one - "music"!


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> Was hpowders the greatest poster of the 21 century?


By post count or actual quality?


----------



## SimonNZ

scratchgolf said:


> Please describe all the ways and reasons you hate Composer X. Spare us no details and feel free to be repetitive. Composer X loved his repeats. If a year has passed and not every person on TC knows you hate Composer X, start over and try again. Take advantage of spreading your message in as many threads as possible. Even if Composer X wasn't mentioned there yet. Be sure to make frequent mentions of your listening experience, as it builds credibility. Finally, and this is the big one, if someone has the audacity to return to topic or disagree with your findings, run them over. *They should know better than to stand on the tracks when the train is coming through.*


I love this and plan to use it (tongue in cheek) first chance I get.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Which Composer Had the Best Stamp Collections?

Poll: Did you answer "No" To This Poll?

Yes
No


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Did you miss the "read before voting" -notification at the end of this poll question and voted without reading the first post? (read before voting)

*Yes
*No


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Did you miss the "read before voting" -notification at the end of this poll question and voted without reading the first post? (read before voting)
> 
> *Yes
> *No


Always and forever eternally.


----------



## hpowders

Celloman said:


> By post count or actual quality?


Ambos, señor!


----------



## Dim7

Post a picture of your selfie: Take a picture of yourself and take a picture of that picture and post that


----------



## hpowders

Wow! Over 112,000 views. STI is a legend!!!


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Wow! Over 112,000 views. STI is a legend!!!


It's probably 11 people with 10,000 views each - and 2,000 people peeking into the thread, despairing and vowing never to return.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Was hpowders the greatest poster of the 21 century?


His Op. 404 was my favorite.

Sieben Poste, Op. 404, scored for one Persichetti Fan and one Cornucopia Of Time To Kill.

One day I even got a message that 404 broke the internet.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> It's probably 11 people with 10,000 views each - and 2,000 people peeking into the thread, despairing and vowing never to return.


You should seriously do something about that drinking problem of yours.... At first it looked like you were recovering of your addiction (Dim7 had momentarily disappeared from all of the "Top Poster" lists) but now look at the "Last 7 days" list


----------



## Albert7

scratchgolf said:


> Please describe all the ways and reasons you hate Composer X. Spare us no details and feel free to be repetitive. Composer X loved his repeats. If a year has passed and not every person on TC knows you hate Composer X, start over and try again. Take advantage of spreading your message in as many threads as possible. Even if Composer X wasn't mentioned there yet. Be sure to make frequent mentions of your listening experience, as it builds credibility. Finally, and this is the big one, if someone has the audacity to return to topic or disagree with your findings, run them over. They should know better than to stand on the tracks when the train is coming through.


Different strokes, different folks. And different trains.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> You should seriously do something about that drinking problem of yours.... At first it looked like you were recovering of your addiction (Dim7 had momentarily disappeared from all of the "Top Poster" lists) but now look at the "Last 7 days" list


Well, I must admit that my life has become unmanageable.

I guess it's time for me to leave TalkClassical. Thanks for the good times, and take care, everyone!

Edit: Okay, I'm back.


----------



## Guest

scratchgolf said:


> Please describe all the ways and reasons you hate Composer X. Spare us no details and feel free to be repetitive. Composer X loved his repeats. If a year has passed and not every person on TC knows you hate Composer X, start over and try again. Take advantage of spreading your message in as many threads as possible. Even if Composer X wasn't mentioned there yet. Be sure to make frequent mentions of your listening experience, as it builds credibility. Finally, and this is the big one, if someone has the audacity to return to topic or disagree with your findings, run them over. They should know better than to stand on the tracks when the train is coming through.


Hardly a new idea. I did a Search on this and it listed 629 threads.

41 involved Schoenberg.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Gloomyn Sunday: The excessive negativity thread about how, put trivial distractions aside, life is just an endless cycle of anxiety, underachievement, pure luck and decay.


----------



## Guest

Rank every single composer in descending order, under 3 headings - Great, Also-ran and Rubbish.

Then we can all go home.


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> Rank every single composer in descending order, under 3 headings - Great, Also-ran and Rubbish.
> 
> Then we can all go home.


Descending order? That doesn't make sense! What's wrong with ascending order? 

And perhaps the more open-minded among us can be allowed to rank the composers in random order, and perhaps even under other headings than the three stipulated by you in all your wisdom. Or does that not fit in with your perfectly arranged world where everyone has to do things in the same way forever and ever?

Edit: Also, you spelled "rubbish" correctly. How pretentious!


----------



## Guest

No. It doesn't.

Edit: and shouldn't the Kandinsky quote read: "Lend your ears to painting, open your eyes to music" ?


----------



## Dim7

Bipolar thread: POST HOW THIS AMAZING, SUPER-FABULOUS GIFT OF LIFE WE HAVE just totally sucks in every way possible


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> No. It doesn't.


Oh. Okay. Then we do it your way. No problem. Sorry for the misunderstanding.



> Edit: and shouldn't the Kandinsky quote read: "Lend your ears to painting, open your eyes to music" ?


If the answer is yes, what more do you want?


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> Oh. Okay. Then we do it your way. No problem. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
> 
> If the answer is yes, what more do you want?


That'll do. For now.


----------



## Guest

Undersexed Conductors.


----------



## Guest

Oversexed Trombonists.


----------



## Dim7

"Stop thinking!" 

- Wassily Kandinsky

I think Kandinsky would have some potential as a STIdiot.


----------



## TresPicos

I couldn't find the "Stupid Blog Ideas" thread (removed by mods, maybe?), so I post this here instead. Or is there perhaps a "Stupid Blog Ideas" _blog_? Hm... well, anyway...

Earlier today, I pressed "Blog this post" instead of "Like this post" by mistake, and I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to blog all the STI posts in a blog, and embed them in some kind of narrative, like this:



> *The Official "Stupid Thread Ideas" Blog*
> 
> Here is the story about the "Stupid Thread Ideas" thread. It all started in the summer of 2014, when millionrainbows created a thread called "Stupid Thread Ideas" with this post as the first post:
> 
> 
> 
> millionrainbows said:
> 
> 
> 
> See what ridiculous thread ideas you can come up with! Here are some...
> 
> "Wagner: Did He Kill Natalie Wood?"
> 
> "Why Doesn't My Grandmother like John Cage's Music?"
> 
> "Beethoven, Anger Management, and the Ethics of Stalking"
> 
> "Schoenberg's 12-Tone Method Didn't really Exist, It Was All Tonal"
> 
> "Were George and Ira Gershwin Anti-Semites?"
> 
> "Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Morton Feldman's Music"
> 
> "Webern at Beyreuth"
> 
> 
> 
> It was liked by many people. Just a few minutes later, Taggart continued with:
> 
> 
> 
> Taggart said:
> 
> 
> 
> Josquin didn't parody - it was all his own work.
> 
> Polyrhythms are for parrots.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> It was also well-liked. Then, Blancrocher came up with the following post:
> 
> 
> 
> Blancrocher said:
> 
> 
> 
> "What was Scriabin's favorite color?"
> 
> "Was Gesualdo framed?
> 
> A Poll: "Harold C. Schonberg VS Arnold Schoenberg"
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> It also received many likes. Then, millionrainbows returned with his second post in the thread:
> 
> 
> 
> millionrainbows said:
> 
> 
> 
> "My Favorite Toscannini Blow-Ups"
> 
> "I Threw Up In Daniel Barenboim's Lap"
> 
> "Paganini: Was he a Satanist?"
> 
> "Schoenberg's Secret Chicken Soup Recipe"
> 
> "Summer Grilling Extravaganza: Dvorak's Meat-Cutting Tips"
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> People liked that post too.
Click to expand...

And so on. What do you think? Great idea, right?


----------



## Dim7

I can't wait till you get to the part where the narrator describes the reactions to Albert7's "thread" ideas.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

I quite like this bit, myself:



> Not long after STI reached its thousandth post, an amazing event happened, one that would change STI for all eternity:
> 
> 
> MoonlightSonata said:
> 
> 
> 
> I've been looking and looking but I just can't seem to find the lyrics to Fur Elise. Can anybody help me?
> 
> 
> 
> This is the inspired early genius of MoonlightSonata, later the second-most-prolific Stupid Thread Artist. People were quick to recognise the incredible potential showed by this post, and it received five "likes".
Click to expand...


----------



## Dim7

I like this part:



> STIpidologists widely agree that this post...
> 
> 
> 
> Dim7 said:
> 
> 
> 
> This thread is about stupidity, not smartness. It is not a place to have an intelligent or meaningful conversation.
> 
> Please be stupid or the thread may be closed. Some posts have been removed.
> 
> 
> 
> ...caused the decline of TalkClassical by starting the "fake red font moderator warning post" fad.
Click to expand...


----------



## Guest

I like this post.


----------



## Dim7

How about this part:



> Creation of the RandomWTF style is often attributed to Albert7 somewhere around page 200 but in fact the first instances of it were already done in the page 150 by Queen of the Nerds who was ahead the times...


----------



## Dim7

Distort The Signatures Of Forum Members


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> It's probably 11 people with 10,000 views each - and 2,000 people peeking into the thread, despairing and vowing never to return.


Yeah. I spend most of my time here myself. A sanctuary from the really stupid thread ideas.


----------



## Celloman

dogen said:


> I like this post.


I like this post.


----------



## hpowders

Has anyone here heard the classical version of CX-teen Candles?


----------



## hpowders

The Maria Callas: It's all Greek to me thread.

Post no. 1: Why so popular? I'd rather listen to Barbra Streisand.


----------



## hpowders

Am I too young too post here?

Post No. 1: I'm 48 years old and notice an overwhelming number of posters listed as "senior members".
Is this forum featured in nursing homes?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Am I too young too post here?
> 
> Post No. 1: I'm 48 years old and notice an overwhelming number of posters listed as "senior members".
> Is this forum featured in nursing homes?


I'm 38 years old and it claims that I'm a senior member.

I thought that I graduated from college and wasn't back in 12 grade .

Peace.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> I'm 38 years old and it claims that I'm a senior member.
> 
> I thought that I graduated from college and wasn't back in 12 grade .
> 
> Peace.


Heh, I was a senior member when I was 12 years old.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Distort The Signatures Of Forum Members





Dim7 said:


> "Open your mind, let your brains fall out, and... stop breathing! Just ask yourself whether life has enabled you to talk about something completely pointless. If the answer is yes, why did you just kill yourself?"
> Dm Seventisky


. .


----------



## Albert7

Remix my signature to the sounds of a funky piano from Chopin.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Arkady Ostrovsky/Eduard Khil _I am very glad, because I'm finally going home_: An Appreciation


----------



## Guest

Celloman said:


> I like this post.


I liked this post a little.

dogen liked this post a little


----------



## MoonlightSonata

I was moderately fond of this post, with my attachment to it perhaps being largely due to the fact that I wrote it.

MoonlightSonata was moderately fond of this post, with their attachment to it perhaps being largely due to the fact that they wrote it


----------



## Dim7

I feel ambivalent about posts liked by their posters.

Julius Caesar liked to jump around aimlessly while crossdressed as Marilyn Monroe


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> I feel ambivalent about posts liked by their posters.
> 
> Julius Caesar liked to jump around aimlessly while crossdressed as Marilyn Monroe


That's so unfair. I can't post a like on my own posts. I'm that big.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

What a wonderful post, Dim7!

MoonlightSonata is actually rather worried by post #5133 and feels that Dim7 may need psychiatric help


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Nobody liked this post, Nobody loves you


----------



## MoonlightSonata

You are an idiot. Yes, you.

WOW!!!!!!!!!!! If you copy this message and email it to 5 people and the name of your crush will appear on your screen!!!!! i tried it and it really worked!!!!!! omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These words are written in blue.


----------



## TresPicos

There should be a second button next to "Like this post" called "Like parts of this post". When you press it, you should go into edit mode and there you can highlight which parts of the post you liked. 

I often find myself liking most of a post, but not all of it. One example is spelling errors. If I like a post with spelling errors, I feel that I'm condoning that incorrect spelling which I certainly am not. So, I end up not liking the post at all. Or if someone is asking a question but ends the sentence with a full stop instead of a question mark. Then, I might want to like everything except for that full stop. 

Sometimes, there is a questionable sentence in an otherwise likeable post that you don't want to like, because you don't want the rest of the forum to think you agree with that sentence. You might approve of the current post, for example. But will you like it if I add one last sentence?





All wild bears should be shot.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> There should be a second button next to "Like this post" called "Like parts of this post". When you press it, you should go into edit mode and there you can highlight which parts of the post you liked.
> 
> I often find myself liking most of a post, but not all of it. One example is spelling errors. If I like a post with spelling errors, I feel that I'm condoning that incorrect spelling which I certainly am not. So, I end up not liking the post at all. Or if someone is asking a question but ends the sentence with a full stop instead of a question mark. Then, I might want to like everything except for that full stop.
> 
> Sometimes, there is a questionable sentence in an otherwise likeable post that you don't want to like, because you don't want the rest of the forum to think you agree with that sentence. You might approve of the current post, for example. But will you like it if I add one last sentence?
> 
> All shooting targets should be shot.


Fixed.
I can now "like" your post with a clear conscience.


----------



## Dim7

Why not just let members edit other members' posts, if there's something in posts they don't like? The poster is dead afterall and is not the final authority on his own posts in this post-modern age.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Why not just let members edit other members' posts? The poster is dead afterall and is not the final authority on his own posts in this post-modern age.


Don't be silly. "Member", "post", "authority", "dead" and "post-modern" are all just social constructs.


----------



## omega

TresPicos said:


> When you press [...] wild bears [...] into [...] liking [...] this [...] questionable [...] post [...], you [...] might [...] certainly [...] not [...] be [...] likeable.


omega liked parts of this post when put in that specific order.


----------



## hpowders

Albert7 said:


> I'm 38 years old and it claims that I'm a senior member.
> 
> I thought that I graduated from college and wasn't back in 12 grade .
> 
> Peace.


You guys get retirement benefits as TC senior members?



MoonlightSonata said:


> Heh, I was a senior member when I was 12 years old.


----------



## hpowders

The psychiatric help section for members only:

The "I automatically "like" multi-paragraph posts even though the posts are usually way above my head" thread.

Post No 1: I find it gives me instant TC street cred to do this.

This is the place to discuss your own intellectual posting inadequacies. Please provide your own intimidating examples of posts you "like" because you don't know what else to do with them.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> The psychiatric help section for members only:


This may crash the server.


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> This may crash the server.


Nah! The server already has had plenty of practice dealing with "issues".


----------



## Guest

Now forum idea: Area 52.

To discuss classical music on the darknet.


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> Now forum idea: Area 52.
> 
> To discuss classical music on the darknet.


Smellington Piff's collaboration with Hennessy Finnissy to drop some rap vocals over New Complexity hip hop string quartet No. 4.


----------



## Guest

Answer a Question with an Answer.


----------



## Dim7

Question a Question with an Answer.


----------



## Guest

Build an Argument using only Non Sequiturs.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

dogen said:


> Build an Argument using only Non Sequiturs.


. . . or with slogans, bromides, and monosyllabic bad spelling.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Marschallin Blair said:


> . . . or bromides


BBr[SUB]3[/SUB] + Br[SUP]-[/SUP] → BBr[SUB]4[/SUB][SUP]-[/SUP]

You are all a bunch of borons


----------



## Dim7

The excessively balanced thread: Discuss how there's an upside and downside to everything. Acknowledge the positive aspects of life but do not get too enthusiastic about them since there can be too much of a good thing, acknowledge the negative aspects but do not wallow in despair. Moderation in everything, except when it comes to the principle of the Golden Mean, which must be upheld with the utmost fanaticism.


----------



## Dim7

Why is spamming disparaged while classical music gets several subforums?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Why is spamming disparaged while classical music gets several subforums?


Answers on a postcard in under _433_ characters.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> Now forum idea: Area 52.
> 
> To discuss classical music on the darknet.


You mean that new experimental thingy that lets you catch darkness and keep a room dark even in sunlight?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> You mean that new experimental thingy that lets you catch darkness and keep a room dark even in sunlight?


I don't see that.


----------



## Dim7

Post ambivalent comments about forum members that can be interpreted both as insults or as compliments


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Post ambivalent comments about forum members that can be interpreted both as insults or as compliments


A post of your usual standard. How do you manage it?


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Post ambivalent comments about forum members that can be interpreted both as insults or as compliments





dogen said:


> A post of your usual standard. How do you manage it?


It's the advantage of being a diminished 7th chord... all of the notes can be interpreted as the root note.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Post ambivalent comments about forum members that can be interpreted both as insults or as compliments


I can't tell you how much I like this post.


----------



## Albert7

No one really knows who Glenn Gould is... a secret Canadian spy eh?


----------



## hpowders

Music that makes the sunlight seem to shine brighter. Name your favorites in Vitamin D major.


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Music that makes the sunlight seem to shine brighter. Name your favorites in Vitamin D major.


Those are played by the Vitamin String Quartet for your enjoyment.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TC Top 40 Most Unpleasant Members

TC Top 83 Most Interfering Moderators

TC Top 119 TC Top Recommended Lists

TC Top 655 Recommended Arbitrary Numbers


----------



## Guest

It's funny that there's a thread of well over five thousand responses that consist of made-up thread ideas when out in the list of real TC threads in the "Classical Music Discussion" there is a wealth of actual stupid threads. 

It's as if faced with a treasure chest of real gold and real jewels, one's greatest pleasure was in playing with iron pyrite and paste.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

some guy said:


> It's funny that there's a thread of well over five thousand responses that consist of made-up thread ideas when out in the list of real TC threads in the "Classical Music Discussion" there is a wealth of actual stupid threads.
> 
> It's as if faced with a treasure chest of real gold and real jewels, one's greatest pleasure was in playing with iron pyrite and paste.


Well, we don't want to get banned, do we? It's far better to subtly (or sometimes not-so-subtly) mock existing threads than to blatantly insult the starter. 
Anyway, it's good fun, and that's the whole point.


----------



## Dim7

The vast majority of thread ideas in this thread do not mock existing threads however, though admittedly some do. Mostly this thread is just for the lulz.

And it has to be reminded that just because a thread is parodied does not mean that it is mocked.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> The vast majority of thread ideas in this thread do not mock existing threads however, though admittedly some do. Mostly this thread is just for the lulz...


You are the Lulzmeister.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> So, this weekend I tried _current listening_ for the first time. And, man, I don't understand how you all do it!
> 
> I was busy trying to hear the sound of the current over the sound of the waves and wasn't completely aware where I was going, when suddenly my snorkeling gear was almost pulled right off my face! I had been caught in a rip tide that started dragging me out to sea! After some struggling, I realized I had to swim sideways, and I was able to free myself from the pull of the current.
> 
> When I left the beach, I was a wreck! I'll never try that again! Please, be careful when you do your current listening, people! I mean, it's dangerous!


Some dudes I figure if they were listening to all those albums they post, would not have any time to write about them.
I guess they are posting while listening, which to me is NOT real listening-an activity that requires 100% concentration.


----------



## hpowders

*An entirely new TC thread-never been done before!!!*

Post no. 1: Nah! Same old crap. Write about anything you want. I don't care anymore.


----------



## hpowders

Albert7 said:


> Those are played by the Vitamin String Quartet for your enjoyment.


Yes! A very healthy dose!!!


----------



## hpowders

The TC tribute photo thread for those whom you feel closest to in musical interests and intellectual capacity.

Post no.1: After much rumination, I came up with these three. I would be crushed if any of them bid farewell to TC.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> The TC tribute photo thread for those whom you feel closest to in musical interests and intellectual capacity.
> 
> Post no.1: After much rumination, I came up with these three. I would be crushed if any of them bid farewell to TC.
> 
> View attachment 69912


They being?????????


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> They being?????????


They are protected by well-chosen tag names.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> They are protected by well-chosen tag names.


One of ems Dim7 isn't it!


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> One of ems Dim7 isn't it!


Nope. Alma Deutscher. WHOOPS!!! I'm being stopped from deleting this!!!


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Nope. Alma Deutscher.


She's let herself go.


----------



## hpowders

How can we do better to....

Post no. 1: You fill in the rest. I give up.


----------



## hpowders

New crop of threads: 

Answer a question with a statement.

Answer a statement with a question.

Answer a statement with a statement.

Accuse a fellow TC member of a serious crime, but be mindful of the ToS agreement.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> How can we do better to....
> 
> Post no. 1:


...motivate jaded posters.


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> How can we do better to....
> 
> Post no. 1: You fill in the rest. I give up.


We could start by finishing ...

Ah, to **** with it.


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> ...motivate jaded posters.





Blancrocher said:


> We could start by finishing ...
> 
> Ah, to **** with it.


That's why we have Jack Daniels I guess.


----------



## Celloman

Poll: Will Alma Deutscher be greater than Mozart?

A. Judging by the alignment of the stars, yes!
B. No, she will only be about as great as Haydn.
C. She'll peak at about age 12, then retire from composition as Sibelius did.


----------



## hpowders

Dumb Announcements Department:

Announcement:

Hello posters. For your convenience and after much deliberation, we have decided by majority vote to increase the amount of time between your ability to "like" consecutive posts, from two seconds to six seconds.

The Technical Department.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> That's why we have Jack Daniels I guess.


That's exactly the reason. Too much reality is bad for you.

http://www.talkclassical.com/34250-whisky-10.html?highlight=#post845033


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> That's exactly the reason. Too much reality is bad for you.
> 
> http://www.talkclassical.com/34250-whisky-10.html?highlight=#post845033


I wonder how it tastes poured over a bowl of cheerios?


----------



## Celloman

hpowders said:


> I wonder how it tastes poured over a bowl of cheerios?


It still tastes like whisky. The cheerios don't mask the flavor. I know because I've tried it already.


----------



## hpowders

Notice: I have moved: My new e-mail address is: 3109 Cavalleria Rusticana Lane.net

Post no.1 : Use this thread to notify fellow members of impending moves.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> *For those of you with multiple accounts, which one is your favorite account?*
> 
> My favorite is, unsurprisingly, _TresPicos_. Once I created that, I pretty much stopped using _DosPicos_, except for when I need extra support in discussions about atonal music.
> 
> _CuatroPicos _is for when I'm in a bad mood and wants to take it out on other users without creating any fallout for TresPicos.
> 
> _SietePicos _is for when I want to be respected by serious posters (which is impossible for TresPicos because of all the STI posting).
> 
> _Dim7_, I only use when I'm drunk.


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> New crop of threads:
> 
> Answer a question with a statement.
> 
> Answer a statement with a question.
> 
> Answer a statement with a statement.
> 
> Accuse a fellow TC member of a serious crime, but be mindful of the ToS agreement.


Question a question with a question

Dodge a question with an inquiry

Dodge a bullet with a quest

Dodge a Dodge with a question

Answer an equestrian with a Dodge

Dodge dogen with a stupid thread idea


----------



## Blancrocher

Dear Forum Members,

I am delighted to inform you that we have accepted Dim7 to join our team. He will fulfill a new capacity on the forum: it will be his job to move posts from the regular forum into Stupid Thread Ideas. In creating this position, we hope to alleviate concerns about both the appearance of "parody thread ideas" on STI and the relatively minor one of threads being deleted by moderators. From now on, threads that are offensive, ignorant, repetitive, contain polls, mention Lang Lang, or seem like sincere and heartfelt statements of opinion will be moved to STI at Dim7's discretion. There will be no further deletions, and no need to parody threads that are already _in_ STI. As a side benefit, we expect that certain trolls on the forum (not that we admit there are any) will see their "like" count increase astronomically.

Those who owe Dim7 money may want to pay him now.

Thank you,

The Moderators


----------



## Dim7

Answer A Compliment With An Insult


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Some posts have been deleted for their usage of superlatives. Guys, please make sure to keep on subject and refrain from any superlatives. This is the most phenomenal thread on this forum, let's keep it that way.


----------



## hpowders

Complete this sentence:

The better looking the conductor, the _______ is the music.
Or don't complete it and move on to a different thread. I don't care.


----------



## hpowders

An Old Challenge:

Post no. 1: Why can't we all simply get along?

Stupid thread idea.


----------



## Dim7

Exchange Opinions and Engage in Civil Discourse Without Resorting to Ad Hominems or Strawmanning: A Boring Game


----------



## hpowders

Why have we stayed despite the fact that all the smart folks left?

Please discuss without rancour/rancor with as much vigor/vigour as you please.


----------



## Dim7

The possibilities of topicality have been exhausted to a bursting point.... Sure our threads may have significant amounts of off-topic and ambiguity what is the topic exactly, polytopical threads etc. and even vaguely atopical threads (Random thoughts and observations...) but they always tend to revolve around certain themes. To avoid any centricity, we must have rigorously atopical threads, where each post must be written about something that has not been talked about in that thread yet and all possible topics must be used before any of them are repeated. There should also be high "leaps" in highbrowness of discussion, i.e. a dirty joke followed by a highly detailed analysis of Bach's Art of Fugue.


----------



## hpowders

Classical Music Discussion Department:









Was Paul Whiteman the greatest conductor of the Twentieth Century?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Exchange Opinions and Engage in Civil Discourse Without Resorting to Ad Hominems or Strawmanning: A Boring Game


**** you, you ****


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> An Old Challenge:
> 
> Post no. 1: Why can't we all simply get along?
> 
> Stupid thread idea.


Because you're stupid?

(Sorry, this should be in the Answer a Question thread. Can a mod move it please, at the same time as I'm being infracted. Thanks)


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> **** you, you ****


TC automatical "excessive praise" -censor at work.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> TC automatical "excessive praise" -censor at work.


Plus, it could go in the Offensive Palindromes thread. If we had one.


----------



## Mahlerian

This, while being a post in mod-red from a moderator, is not an official moderator post. I am not going to criticize you or offer any direction as to how this thread should go. I am not going to issue threats or warnings of any kind. Your posts thus far have been stupid and off-topic, and are thus perfectly in line with the parameters of the topic thus far established. No infractions have been given, and no posts deleted. Carry on.


----------



## Blancrocher

Hi everyone, 

Like many of you, I'm increasingly distressed by some posters' propensity to refer to music or composers as "great." It makes it seem like there's a static pantheon out there where every composer has their set amount of quality. Even worse are words like "greater" or "greatest," which make what should be a joyous aesthetic experience into a decision about hierarchy. I would like to obviate such problems by eliminating words like "great," "greater," and "greatest" from the forum altogether. As a substitute--one that captures the ongoing, volatile, and uncertain aesthetic quality of artworks--I humbly offer "greating" as an alternative. "Great" implies a definitive statement, which is unreasonable; "greating" suggests that a work or composer is simply moving in that direction, and avoids needless insinuations of comparative merit. 

For example. Say you're listening to Schoenberg's Piano Concerto, and you think "man, this is really great--maybe the greatest piano concerto ever." Don't post this. Instead, say: "Earlier today I was listening to Schoenberg's Piano Concerto and I think it's really greating." Similarly, say you by chance overheard another one of his pieces: "God--my neighbor was playing Schoenberg's Erwartung today and it sent shivers up my spine. It's so greating!"

Thank you for your consideration of this post, which I hope will improve forum morale.


----------



## Dim7

The most normal dream never: make up a dream you never had that was completely normal and could easily have happened in real life


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> Because you're stupid?
> 
> (Sorry, this should be in the Answer a Question thread. Can a mod move it please, at the same time as I'm being infracted. Thanks)


Yeah, I thought of that, except that I'm smart enough to realize that many of the TC intellectual giants bade us sayonara, so that can't be it!


----------



## hpowders

Mahlerian said:


> This, while being a post in mod-red from a moderator, is not an official moderator post. I am not going to criticize you or offer any direction as to how this thread should go. I am not going to issue threats or warnings of any kind. Your posts thus far have been stupid and off-topic, and are thus perfectly in line with the parameters of the topic thus far established. No infractions have been given, and no posts deleted. Carry on.


We do do stupid good! I resemble those remarks!


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> This, while being a post in mod-red from a moderator, is not an official moderator post. I am not going to criticize you or offer any direction as to how this thread should go. I am not going to issue threats or warnings of any kind. Your posts thus far have been stupid and off-topic, and are thus perfectly in line with the parameters of the topic thus far established. No infractions have been given, and no posts deleted. Carry on.


I have already posted a post like this in this thread and normally I wouldn't give a like for such STI pastiche but admittedly it being posted by a mod gives it extra punch.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I have already posted a post like this in this thread and normally I wouldn't give a like for such STI pastiche but admittedly it being posted by a mod gives it extra punch.


What a creep....


----------



## hpowders

Is there anyone out there deaf and actively composing?

Post no. 1: Just trying to see if Beethoven had an advantage over other composers.


----------



## hpowders

When a mod posts here, it gives us status, legitimacy and street cred; not that we need it.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> What a creep....


Post when you have something noteworthy to say, like that one of my posts is not creepy.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Mahlerian said:


> This, while being a post in mod-red from a moderator, is not an official moderator post. I am not going to criticize you or offer any direction as to how this thread should go. I am not going to issue threats or warnings of any kind. Your posts thus far have been stupid and off-topic, and are thus perfectly in line with the parameters of the topic thus far established. No infractions have been given, and no posts deleted. Carry on.


Wonderful! This is perhaps the most on-topic thread in the whole forum...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Why have we stayed despite the fact that all the smart folks left?
> 
> Please discuss without rancour/rancor with as much vigor/vigour as you please.


Who needs intelligent discussion when we have STI?


----------



## KenOC

Composers' early toilet training: Its influence on their music.


----------



## Dim7

The Only Way To Make Classical Popular Among Young People: Make up erotic programs and names for all classical works


----------



## TresPicos

Blancrocher said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Like many of you, I'm increasingly distressed by some posters' propensity to refer to music or composers as "great." It makes it seem like there's a static pantheon out there where every composer has their set amount of quality. Even worse are words like "greater" or "greatest," which make what should be a joyous aesthetic experience into a decision about hierarchy. I would like to obviate such problems by eliminating words like "great," "greater," and "greatest" from the forum altogether. As a substitute--one that captures the ongoing, volatile, and uncertain aesthetic quality of artworks--I humbly offer "greating" as an alternative. "Great" implies a definitive statement, which is unreasonable; "greating" suggests that a work or composer is simply moving in that direction, and avoids needless insinuations of comparative merit.
> 
> For example. Say you're listening to Schoenberg's Piano Concerto, and you think "man, this is really great--maybe the greatest piano concerto ever." Don't post this. Instead, say: "Earlier today I was listening to Schoenberg's Piano Concerto and I think it's really greating." Similarly, say you by chance overheard another one of his pieces: "God--my neighbor was playing Schoenberg's Erwartung today and it sent shivers up my spine. It's so greating!"
> 
> Thank you for your consideration of this post, which I hope will improve forum morale.


A thread bashing the word "great" just cannot be considered stupid, no matter what else it might contain. Hence, you are grossly off-topic. I have reported this post to the mods. You will probably be banned.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> The Only Way To Make Classical Popular Among Young People: Make up erotic programs and names for all classical works


I don't know. It might help somewhat. I mean, Beethoven's Erotica symphony and Mozart's Hefner symphony are very popular, but those names haven't really boosted classical music as a genre.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> A thread bashing the word "great" just cannot be considered stupid, no matter what else it might contain. Hence, you are grossly off-topic. I have reported this post to the mods. You will probably be banned.


Banning is still a relatively gentle punishment. I was forced by the mods to post regurarly in the Opera subforum for making a Britten pun.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> I don't know. It might help somewhat. I mean, Beethoven's Erotica symphony and Mozart's Hefner symphony are very popular, but those names haven't really boosted classical music as a genre.


To stay on-topic (STI), I think it would be also important for composers to remind young people of all the risks involved, for example by writing symphonic poems with detailed programs about STDs.


----------



## TresPicos

So, I visited a friend yesterday, and he played some nice music on his stereo. When I asked, he told me it was "A C symphony" by von Williams. Man, what a stupid name! No, not von Williams... Well, I guess that's kind of stupid as well, but I mean the symphony. Like the weren't already thousands of symphonies written in C major or minor before von Williams wrote his. Did he think he was the first one to get that idea? Or was the title ironic somehow? Can someone please explain?


----------



## Dim7

Okay, so how about we finally get along, understand each other and tolerate our differences....

...nah, on the second thought **** that, sounds really boring, let's get on with the fight! It's 2015 for God's sake - you have to love Stockhausen at this point or you are a neanderthal! Atonal music is unnatural garbage, John Cage is a charlatan! Oops I forgot which side I'm on, but anyway bring on the insults!!!


----------



## TresPicos

Mahlerian said:


> This, while being a post in mod-red from a moderator, is not an official moderator post. I am not going to criticize you or offer any direction as to how this thread should go. I am not going to issue threats or warnings of any kind. Your posts thus far have been stupid and off-topic, and are thus perfectly in line with the parameters of the topic thus far established. No infractions have been given, and no posts deleted. Carry on.


Sounds great! :cheers:


----------



## hpowders

Name change request.

hpowders to HRH-hpowders-CBE.


----------



## Albert7

You all know how the story goes.

I'm captive... mostly lately by Bartok parodies.


----------



## SimonNZ

If we load a synthesizer with vocal notes from Maria Callas' recordings can we _finally_ have definitive recordings of Bach's keyboard works?


----------



## Albert7

Secret tapes of Caballe's drinking songs rediscovered from the Angel vaults.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> You all know how the story goes.
> 
> I'm captive... mostly lately by Bartok parodies.


Um... care to explain?


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> If we load a synthesizer with vocal notes from Maria Callas' recordings can we _finally_ have definitive recordings of Bach's keyboard works?


You might then get a first-rate Bach but merely a second-rate Callas.


----------



## Albert7

Name all the symphonies in zero movements.


----------



## Balthazar

A question for the zen masters:

If I'm on everyone's Ignore List, are my posts still obnoxious?


----------



## Dim7

"No homo" -game (for male posters only): Say something to the previous poster that sounds incredibly gay, but add "no homo" which totally convinces everyone that the post was to be interpreted in a completely heterosexual sense

"Yes homo" -game (for dudes only): Say something to the previous poster which doesn't sound gay at all, but is intended to be interpreted as a very gay comment and add "yes homo"


----------



## Guest

Albert7 said:


> Name all the symphonies in zero movements.


----------



## Dim7

*Post-deletion/infraction-point/thread-locking quotas for moderators?*

Recently there's been lots of complaints about moderators being lazy and not doing their job. I think we need a systematic way of dealing with this problem. My suggestions is that there should be quotas for infractions points given, post deletions and closing threads that each moderator needs to fulfill, for instance 50 infractions points given per week or 10 post deletions per day. If a moderator fails to meet any of the quotas, he should automatically get infraction points himself. I'm actually baffled that this hasn't been suggested yet.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Recently there's been lots of complaints about moderators being lazy and not doing their job. I think we need a systematic way of dealing with this problem. My suggestions is that there should be quotas for infractions points given, post deletions and closing threads that each moderator needs to fulfill, for instance 50 infractions points per week or 10 post deletions per day. If a moderator fails to meet any of the quotas, he should automatically get infraction points. I'm actually baffled that this hasn't been suggested yet.


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Um... care to explain?


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Recently there's been lots of complaints about moderators being lazy and not doing their job. I think we need a systematic way of dealing with this problem. My suggestions is that there should be quotas for infractions points given, post deletions and closing threads that each moderator needs to fulfill, for instance 50 infractions points per week or 10 post deletions per day. If a moderator fails to meet any of the quotas, he should automatically get infraction points. I'm actually baffled that this hasn't been suggested yet.


It has, but the moderators were a bit short of post deletions that day and so deleted the post suggesting it to make up the numbers.


----------



## Dim7

*Lulzmeisters of TalkClassical*

TC Official Lulzmeister contest is going to be held at June. Contestants will submit Stupid Thread Ideas, of which lulzfactor will be evaluated by convoluted and confusing procedures by the lulzjudges. The contestant that is judged to be the most lulzy will have the honor to be officially LJBF'd* by the hottest TC female member (hotness and gender determinend by avatar, we trust TCers to be not deceptive in their choice of avatars), in other words accepted into her friends list (not necessarily permanently).

*Let's Just Be Friends


----------



## SimonNZ

If Maria Callas was sitting in the audience for a performance of 4'33", would that then be the definitive performance?


----------



## Albert7

Was Mozart's manuscripts written with squid ink or not?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SimonNZ said:


> If Maria Callas was sitting in the audience for a performance of 4'33", would that then be the definitive performance?


If Maria Callas's third cousin's second-best friend breathes on a poster advertising a concert by a performer who once recorded a work, does that recording become a definitive performance?


----------



## SimonNZ

MoonlightSonata said:


> If Maria Callas's third cousin's second-best friend breathes on a poster advertising a concert by a performer who once recorded a work, does that recording become a definitive performance?


Gasp! Heresy! There is only one inimitable Divina! Her name be praised!!


----------



## hpowders

Not a troll: I break out in hives whenever I listen to any classical composer except Vivaldi.

Post no 1: How does this forum even exist? Do you take penicillin?


----------



## hpowders

What's wrong with me?

I love all classical composers except for the music of Bach, Mozart and Beethoven whose compositions literally make me feel ill.
Share your sickening experiences.


----------



## SimonNZ

hpowders said:


> What's wrong with me?
> 
> I love all classical composers except for the music of Bach, Mozart and Beethoven whose compositions literally make me feel ill.
> Share your sickening experiences.


hpowders: you may be pregnant - time to go pee on a stick


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> Gasp! Heresy! There is only one inimitable Divina! Her name be praised!!


Divina? Wasn't that the name given to the singer that collaborated with film director John Waters?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divine_(performer)


----------



## hpowders

The greatest 'Lustig im Tempo und keck im Ausdruck' movements ever.

Post no.1: Please list all your favorites/favourites right here, hear?


----------



## SimonNZ

TalkingHead said:


> Divina? Wasn't that the name given to the singer that collaborated with film director John Waters?
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divine_(performer)


Its true: they don't like to talk about it on the Callas threads, but after she famously got thin, she relapsed and put it all back on again, and more:


----------



## hpowders

The 'This Music is Making Me Thirsty' thread.

Post no. 1: Ever listen to a piece that makes you seriously reach for a glass of whatever?
Here's your chance to discuss it.
Examples from score, please.


----------



## hpowders

Ever long for a really fine accelerando and all you hear are frustrating ritardandos?
Discuss with examples from score.


----------



## hpowders

Have you ever listened to a gorgeous opera singer with eyes closed and wished you could date her?
Discuss here with pertinent album covers.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite/favourite timpani parts from the film noir genre.


----------



## hpowders

SimonNZ said:


> hpowders: you may be pregnant - time to go pee on a stick


Urine the right neighborhood/neighbourhood.


----------



## Dim7

Music that makes you sneeze


----------



## hpowders

Russian Operas that you wish were in Spanish.
Discuss your favorites if they are good-a-nov.


----------



## Balthazar

Netiquette poll:

If someone "unfriends" me, how long should I wait before sending them another friend request?

A. 3 hours
B. 3 days
C. As soon as I "like" one of their posts in Current Listening.
D. As soon as I return from my temporary ban.

Just curious...


----------



## Tsaraslondon

SimonNZ said:


> Its true: they don't like to talk about it on the Callas threads, but after she famously got thin, she relapsed and put it all back on again, and more:


You just can't let it go, can you?


----------



## Dim7

I don't need any help!

_"I don't know the identity of this piece (mp3 linked) but I'd like to figure it out on my own, thank you very much."_


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> Its true: they don't like to talk about it on the Callas threads, but after she famously got thin, she relapsed and put it all back on again, and more:





















I do wish those Callas detractors in the balcony would sit down. They're frightening the livestock.


----------



## Dim7

Not again.........


----------



## Figleaf

Dim7 said:


> Not again.........


The humorous nature of this thread seems to have bypassed some people.

Stupid thread idea: The 'How dare you?!' thread in the opera forum- in which people air controversial opinions about singers, and all responses consist of 'How dare you?!' Like the mumsnet thread 'Am I being unreasonable?', but without that thread's occasional lapses into common sense or good humour.


----------



## Kivimees

These wild mushrooms I picked are literally making me feel sick.


----------



## hpowders

Balthazar said:


> Netiquette poll:
> 
> If someone "unfriends" me, how long should I wait before sending them another friend request?
> 
> A. 3 hours
> B. 3 days
> C. As soon as I "like" one of their posts in Current Listening.
> D. As soon as I return from my temporary ban.
> 
> Just curious...


What kind of friend would do such a thing? Lowest thing I ever heard!! 

Give me his name immediately so I can un-friend him!!!!


----------



## hpowders

Figleaf said:


> *The humorous nature of this thread seems to have bypassed some **people. *
> 
> Stupid thread idea: The 'How dare you?!' thread in the opera forum- in which people air controversial opinions about singers, and all responses consist of 'How dare you?!' Like the mumsnet thread 'Am I being unreasonable?', but without that thread's occasional lapses into common sense or good humour.


Yes. I was told to "pee on a stick" to see if I'm pregnant.

Obviously, the spirit that I intended my original post to be, under this thread category, was lost on this person.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Figleaf said:


> The humorous nature of this thread seems to have bypassed some people.
> 
> Stupid thread idea: The 'How dare you?!' thread in the opera forum- in which people air controversial opinions about singers, and all responses consist of 'How dare you?!' Like the mumsnet thread 'Am I being unreasonable?', but without that thread's occasional lapses into common sense or good humour.


What's humorous about malice?- outside of Mordor that is.


----------



## hpowders

The "Composers Producing Physical Symptoms" thread.

Post no 1: I find Stravinsky's music is soooo dry, when hearing it I have a practically unquenchable thirst.

How about you?


----------



## hpowders

Has anyone heard the Rutenelli Third Symphony from 2027?

Post no 1: Music well ahead of its time.


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> The "Composers Producing Physical Symptoms" thread.
> 
> Post no 1: I find Stravinsky's music is soooo dry, when hearing it I have a practically unquenchable thirst.
> 
> How about you?


The opposite happened to me at a performance of John Luther Adams' "Become Ocean." I was soaking wet after it. Didn't realize beforehand that the ocean would be used as an instrument.


----------



## Guest

Start a thread in a fictitious world; one where some people like modern music. (Crazy huh).


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: Let's see which TC usernames we can change into something inappropriate by changing just one letter


----------



## Dim7

I have grossly insulted myself in this thread. I must stop with the self-hatred or I may have to close this thread started by me and where all replies are mine. Some of my posts have been deleted by me.

If this continues I will have to ban myself. Infraction points have been given to me by me.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Mods can delete their own posts? Isn't that what life is about? Am I making any sense? I say the oranges are ripe, a two-headed goat just landed the spaceship under the carpet where the dust dwells and dances.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Help Needed!*
I want to conduct a second performance of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture but last time I destroyed half of the concert hall with the cannon.
Any tips on how to aim the cannon out a window?


----------



## TresPicos

I wish to "reset" my memory, so I can start reading this thread from the beginning - just like a new TC user who stumbled upon it - and have all those good laughs all over again. Also, it would be nice to once again listen to all classical works for the very first time. 

I have heard about lobotomies, and I'm thinking that could be the solution to my problem. Has anyone here done that sort of procedure? What kind of tools should I use? What is the entry point? Do I have to lie down, or could I do it right here by my computer?

As I understand, lobotomies could leave you quite docile and without a personality, but I don't really have that much of a personality to begin with, and people in my environment would probably appreciate me more if I was docile.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> I wish to "reset" my memory, so I can start reading this thread from the beginning - just like a new TC user who stumbled upon it - and have all those good laughs all over again. Also, it would be nice to once again listen to all classical works for the very first time.
> 
> I have heard about lobotomies, and I'm thinking that could be the solution to my problem. Has anyone here done that sort of procedure? What kind of tools should I use? What is the entry point? Do I have to lie down, or could I do it right here by my computer?
> 
> As I understand, lobotomies could leave you quite docile and without a personality, but I don't really have that much of a personality to begin with, and people in my environment would probably appreciate me more if I was docile.


Globally enforced lobotomy among all listeners of classical music could be the solution to the problem that all good musical ideas have been used (and hence classical music being dead). Tonality has been exhausted, so obviously we can't just compose in old tonal styles, but also as everyone knows atonal music is horrible noise no one actually likes. We could reinvent the tonal system and go from the Reneissance to Baroque to Classical and to Romantic era again, with the illusion that we are creating something new and vital. But eventually we will inevitably come to the Modern era again. How many times a lobotomy can be done I wonder?


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Dim7 said:


> Globally enforced lobotomy among all listeners of classical music could be the solution to the problem that all good musical ideas have been used. Tonality has been exhausted, so obviously we can't just compose in old tonal styles, but also as everyone knows atonal music is horrible noise no one actually likes. We could reinvent the tonal system and go from the Reneissance to Baroque to Classical and to Romantic era again, with the illusion that we are creating something new and vital. But eventually we will inevitably come to the Modern era again. How many times a lobotomy can be done I wonder?


. . . or, alternatively of course, one can always retreat to commitment and continue trying to square a circle with moribund music from merely a hundred years ago.


----------



## Dim7

Marschallin Blair said:


> . . . or, alternatively of course, one can always retreat to commitment and continue trying to square a circle with moribund music from merely a hundred years ago.


Huh?
.................


----------



## Celloman

*TalkClassical's Top Recommended Post-1950 Works: #51-60*

051. I blew out my brains trying to count this.

052. It's _still_ Greek to me.

053. No no, I'm not listening to this!

054. This sucked! The violinist was just fiddling around.

055. I think they just put a toddler on the bench and let him bang on the keys for 40 minutes. Why would anyone pay a world-class pianist to do that?

056. The name of the piece means "Blank Slate". That's exactly what it sounded like.

057. It didn't show up on Spotify. I guess it's bad music, then.

058. If anything happened, I don't know about it because I slept through the whole thing.

059. Boulez should have stuck with conducting. At least with that, he keeps a steady beat.

060. Does "C" stand for "Coma"?


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Dim7 said:


> Huh?
> .................





Dim7 said:


> Huh?
> .................


To wit: Why go all the way back six hundred years to the Renaissance for musical reaction, when with a mere hop, skip, and a jump you can get musical reaction by going back a mere hundred years to the time of Schoenberg?


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Huh?
> .................


Uh-huh
.................


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> I wish to "reset" my memory, so I can start reading this thread from the beginning - just like a new TC user who stumbled upon it - and have all those good laughs all over again. Also, it would be nice to once again listen to all classical works for the very first time.
> 
> I have heard about lobotomies, and I'm thinking that could be the solution to my problem. Has anyone here done that sort of procedure? What kind of tools should I use? What is the entry point? Do I have to lie down, or could I do it right here by my computer?
> 
> As I understand, lobotomies could leave you quite docile and without a personality, but I don't really have that much of a personality to begin with, and people in my environment would probably appreciate me more if I was docile.


You may have forgotten that we've already told you this: you HAVE had a lobotomy.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Huh?
> .................


Don't question it. Just "like" it. Gives you instant intellectual street cred, like you must be one of them.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

> Quote Originally Posted by Dim7 View Post
> 
> Huh?





TresPicos said:


> Uh-huh
> .................


Is the water fluoridated?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Uh-huh
> .................


Now that explains.


----------



## hpowders

The abstract poster rule. Doesn't matter what the heck they are saying. Just "like" it.

Certain posters write "atonally". Just accept it. Nobody knows what they are talking about.


----------



## Celloman

Marschallin Blair said:


> Is the water fluoridated?


No more Dr. Strangelove for you.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Celloman said:


> No more Dr. Strangelove for you.


General Turgidson, please, let's hear no more of this nonsense. This is the War Room.


----------



## SimonNZ

GregMitchell said:


> You just can't let it go, can you?


Stupid jokes about Maria Callas? Or about Callas-worship? No, they're fair game - just like the thousands of other topics, composers and performers who we've had a little fun with here, many of my own favorites (but you don't mind about _them_).

Schoenberg gets it worse than any one on this thread, from people who (like myself) like his music just fine. Will you tell us to stop? It isn't hate. It's wit. He can take it. And it often highlights common misunderstandings.

Feel free to tell me the joke wasn't funny or misfired. Don't tell me that just one particular topic is off-limits.


----------



## SimonNZ

Marschallin Blair said:


>


Took me a second to get that: you're calling me a troll.

Charming.


----------



## Dim7

Continue the Callas thing in some other thread plz....


----------



## Marschallin Blair

SimonNZ said:


> Took me a second to get that: you're calling me a troll.
> 
> Charming.


Nothing of the sort.

Your own charming words speak for themselves.

http://www.talkclassical.com/33122-stupid-thread-ideas-351.html#post882669


----------



## SimonNZ

Dim7 said:


> Continue the Callas thing in some other thread plz....


You'd prefer no more Callas jokes?


----------



## Dim7

SimonNZ said:


> You'd prefer no more Callas jokes?


I meant "Better not react to the reactions of Callas worshippers".


----------



## Dim7

*One post to end them all*

Everything is subjective. Everything is bull****. That is what every conversation boils down to. It has been proved beyond any doubt.

You can all go home now.


----------



## Guest

Fundamentalists Forum

No prophet or Callas jokes here.


----------



## Dim7

Famous Stupid Thread Artists Have Completely Serious And Humorless Conversation About Politics


----------



## Dim7

Okay, so are those who 'like' somebody's post where (s)he tells (s)he's going to leave TC basically saying "Good riddance"?


----------



## Figleaf

SimonNZ said:


> Took me a second to get that: you're calling me a troll.
> 
> Charming.


It's a badge of honour. Wear it with pride!


----------



## Guest

Maria Callas (PBUH):

Denigrate the kafirs.


----------



## Balthazar

*The "Take STI Seriously" Thread*

We make a mirror thread of STI, then one-by-one, we all take turns being the "straight guy" and responding to STI posts in earnest. The more petulance, indignation, and effrontery the better!

Example:

Schoenberg making eggs benedict for Yo-yo Ma in Leipzig while rabbits play Verklarte Nacht on kazoos.

Reply: There you go again. Everyone knows Yo-yo Ma likes his eggs over easy! Why do you always single out the cellists for breakfast mockery? I don't see too many jokes here about Argerich and Pop-Tarts. And what are you getting at by implying that one of Schoenberg's most tonal pieces should be performed with one of the least tonal instruments? And by rodents no less? Or is that just another low dig at "modernity?" 

Sounds like fun, no? So who wants to go first…. er….. second….. er……


----------



## Balthazar

SimonNZ said:


> Took me a second to get that: you're calling me a troll.
> 
> Charming.


I think you misinterpreted.

I read that post as a witty example of self-referential post-modernism. Pretty funny, actually! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

My first memory of the incomparable Callas voice:

"Hello, is Ari there? Tell him it's Maria. I'll hold."


----------



## hpowders

Looking for some good breakfast serial music. Is Sessions good for that? I usually have cheerios and milk. Maybe Boulez?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Looking for some good breakfast serial music. Is Sessions good for that? I usually have cheerios and milk. Maybe Boulez?


Milk is for useless traditionalists. Total Cerealism is the breakfast of the future!


----------



## Mahlerian

MoonlightSonata said:


> Milk is for useless traditionalists. Total Cerealism is the breakfast of the future!


I don't know if we have that. I'll see what we have in Stockhausen.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Mahlerian said:


> I don't know if we have that. I'll see what we have in Stockhausen.


Do you have any tea? I'm Partched.


----------



## Celloman

MoonlightSonata said:


> Do you have any tea? I'm Partched.


Wouldn't you rather have a Martinu?


----------



## Mahlerian

Celloman said:


> Wouldn't you rather have a Martinu?


Yes, please. I once passed the night with Meyerbeer and woke up very unhappy the next day.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> Wouldn't you rather have a Martinu?


Ah, that would be illegal - I'm A Minor you see.


----------



## Blancrocher

**A Pole**









Hello, everybody. I would appreciate your response to this pole.

Thanks.


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> **A Pole**
> 
> View attachment 70033
> 
> 
> Hello, everybody. I would appreciate your response to this pole.
> 
> Thanks.


Is it deeply flawed?


----------



## Mahlerian

Blancrocher said:


> **A Pole**
> 
> View attachment 70033
> 
> 
> Hello, everybody. I would appreciate your response to this pole.
> 
> Thanks.


I think it's biased and won't respond.


----------



## Ingélou

Is this the correct soap to take to a soap opera -










and which arias are best for singing in the shower?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Were/Are There Composers?

*Yes, surprisingly
*None
*Ensure
*I feel uncomfortable
*Everybody cares


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Were/Are There Composers?
> 
> *Yes, surprisingly
> *None
> *Ensure
> *I feel uncomfortable
> *Everybody cares


Surprised this one hasn't already appeared "out there". By the way I give "out there" a 100% vote of "no confidence".


----------



## Dim7

SomePoster has

reached the average post count of TC members!
and
there's

absolutely nothing

noteworthy about that!

_N o n g r a t u l a t i o n s_

Mediocrely done!


----------



## SimonNZ

Ingélou said:


> and which arias are best for singing in the shower?


Do your neighbours prefer your Queen Of The Night or your "Una Voce Poco Fa"?

Also: that was my prefered brand of soap in the photo...in case anyone was wondering what I smell like (and who wasn't?)


----------



## Figleaf

Blancrocher said:


> **A Pole**
> 
> View attachment 70033
> 
> 
> Hello, everybody. I would appreciate your response to this pole.
> 
> Thanks.


Go back to Pole-land! Signed, a Daily Mail reader.


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> Do your neighbours prefer your Queen Of The Night or your "Una Voce Poco Fa"? [...]


Simon, you're so _callous_ !!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 has reached

500

STI posts!

_Keep being stupid!_​


----------



## Guest

Figleaf said:


> Go back to Pole-land! Signed, a Daily Mail reader.


Lame, Fig, lame !!


----------



## Celloman

Blancrocher said:


> **A Pole**
> 
> View attachment 70033
> 
> 
> Hello, everybody. I would appreciate your response to this pole.
> 
> Thanks.


It looks like a visual representation of _4'33"_.


----------



## Albert7

Mahlerian said:


> Yes, please. I once passed the night with Meyerbeer and woke up very unhappy the next day.


Alas, I failed to drink any wine with Donizetti once. Epic fail.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 10 Stupid Thread Ideas


----------



## Blancrocher

**Posted in Identifying Music**

I have this song in my head and can't find an audio sample, but I'll know it when I hear it. I'm pretty sure it's classical. Can somebody help me out?


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> **Posted in Identifying Music**
> 
> I have this song in my head and can't find an audio sample, but I'll know it when I hear it. I'm pretty sure it's classical. Can somebody help me out?


Post your head to me (I'll PM my address). I'll take the song out of your head and figure out what it is.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Blancrocher said:


> **Posted in Identifying Music**
> 
> I have this song in my head and can't find an audio sample, but I'll know it when I hear it. I'm pretty sure it's classical. Can somebody help me out?


It's bound to be Ferneyhough. All the catchy tunes are.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Blancrocher said:


> **Posted in Identifying Music**
> 
> I have this song in my head and can't find an audio sample, but I'll know it when I hear it. I'm pretty sure it's classical. Can somebody help me out?





Dim7 said:


> Post your head to me (I'll PM my address). I'll take the song out of your head and figure out what it is.





MoonlightSonata said:


> It's bound to be Ferneyhough. All the catchy tunes are.


Post a serious question in a forum specifically designated for identifying music and you may get no reply for days....
Post a joke question and you get two replies within four minutes....
What a unique forum this is :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Blancrocher

MoonlightSonata said:


> It's bound to be Ferneyhough. All the catchy tunes are.


Thanks, but I think I'll wait for a link from a member here called "Norske"--I wouldn't normally have posted something so vague, but I believe I've seen him solve tougher problems than this one.


----------



## TresPicos

Blancrocher said:


> **Posted in Identifying Music**
> 
> I have this song in my head and can't find an audio sample, but I'll know it when I hear it. I'm pretty sure it's classical. Can somebody help me out?


I have mailed my whole CD collection to you in a big crate. Perhaps you can find the song if you listen through my CDs. Please send the crate back to me in Sweden when you're done.


----------



## hpowders

Are there or were there any genius level TC posters?

Post no. 1: Is there such a thing? Or are the really fine posters simply idiot savants and are most likely mediocre in everything else they do. Can they even balance a checkbook?

Discuss with referenced posts and life examples, always keeping mindful of the ToS agreement.


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> Are there or were there any genius level TC posters?


I'd say I am, hpowders. Though I'll admit that in the summertime I often find it too hot for jeans.


----------



## Dim7

Thread for pitying/scolding TC members for their large post counts

"SuperPoster has reached 40 000 posts! Ever heard of 'Quality over quantity'?"

"PosterOfPosts has posted 1000 posts every day for a month. I wonder how interesting your real life is - if you have any..."


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> I have mailed my whole CD collection to you in a big crate. Perhaps you can find the song if you listen through my CDs. Please send the crate back to me in Sweden when you're done.


Post script to Blancrocher.

I've moved to the UK from Sweden now, so please return my CD collection to my new address (which I have PM'd to you). Naturally upon receipt I'll reimburse the delivery costs.


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Thread Reactions

Thread title: "Have You Heard Of An Obscure Classicist Composer Named Mario Bucherini?"
Reaction: "SO YOU'RE INSULTING CAGE AGAIN?!?!?!? Why do you always have to hate on modern composers???"


----------



## Lukecash12

hpowders said:


> Are there or were there any genius level TC posters?
> 
> Post no. 1: Is there such a thing? Or are the really fine posters simply idiot savants and are most likely mediocre in everything else they do. Can they even balance a checkbook?
> 
> Discuss with referenced posts and life examples, always keeping mindful of the ToS agreement.


Your resident idiot savant checking in. But you've got it wrong: all I can do is balance checkbooks.


----------



## Guest

The Best Shag You've Ever Had.


(I realise not many people are fans of coarse cut tobacco).


----------



## Albert7

For two months I have been trying to unfriend this terrible guy named Albert7. Any tips how? Seriously this is harder than doing this on Facebook.


----------



## KenOC

Should Beethoven's last quartets have included a clarinet?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

KenOC said:


> Should Beethoven's last quartets have included a clarinet?


What about an electric guitar?


----------



## Balthazar

KenOC said:


> Should Beethoven's last quartets have included a clarinet?


And how did he know they were going to be his last quartets? Did he have ESP or something?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Balthazar said:


> And how did he know they were going to be his last quartets? Did he have ESP or something?


It's because Dim7 used the words "conservative" and "electronic" in the same sentence, and ripped the space-time continuum. Time started running backwards for Beethoven, so the next quartets after the Last Quartets would have been the Second-To-Last Quartets.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> What about an electric guitar?


Nothing wrong with an electric guitar transcription of Beethoven. ;p


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: What is your stance on freedom of speech?

Opinions should only be expressed when they are in line with MoonlightSonata's
Opinions, whenever they are in line with MoonlightSonata's, _must_ be expressed
Whatever MoonlightSonata says
Ask MoonlightSonata
Other (PM MoonlightSonata for approval of your opinion before posting)


----------



## Albert7

Symphony No. 2 for a thousand iPhone 6's.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why are there no composers from Atlantis?

Why didn't Bach write a clarinet concerto?

Why did Bach write so much Christian music but no satanic music? His oeuvre is very imbalanced.


----------



## Guest

Sometimes at concerts the performer plays an Encore. Which would you recommend as the best recording please (at a reasonable price)


----------



## Albert7

Mountain Dew sponsored Mahler... definitely scary if that happened.


----------



## Guest

What is your stance on stances?


----------



## Guest

I think I should be able to take the stance that no one else should be able to take a stance without anyone criticizing me for being inconsistent.







(For any humor-impaired members, and there may be one or two, the above was mockery.)


----------



## Guest

some guy said:


> I think I should be able to take the stance that no one else should be able to take a stance without anyone criticizing me for being inconsistent.


That's not what you said before.


----------



## Dim7

some guy said:


> I think I should be able to take the stance that no one else should be able to take a stance without anyone criticizing me for being inconsistent.


Strictly speaking that is not an inconsistent stance (when put that way), just blatantly self-serving


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> What is your stance on stances?


I can take a stance if I want to
I can leave my friends behind
Cause my friends won't take a stance
And if they don't take a stance
Well they're no friends of mine


----------



## Dim7

Should we limit the number of 4'33'' jokes per day that one member is allowed to make?

Should we limit the number of days each member is allowed to live?

The most incredibly tame "naughty" jokes

"Libertarian" contemporary classical that uses electroshock torture


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Egg Composers: Separating Yolk from White?

The Legendary Giggling

If you ran your own train station...

What don't you think about when you listen to music?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Egg Composers: Separating Yolk from White?
> 
> The Legendary Giggling
> 
> If you ran your own train station...
> 
> What don't you think about when you listen to music?


Let Go Of your composer's Egg-go.


----------



## Dim7

The Excessively Post-Modern Deconstruction Thread

Why is disparaging disparaged, while disparaging forms of disparagement disparage their own disparagement?


----------



## Celloman

*Poll: Which was the better singer, Maria Callas or Florence Foster Jenkins?*

*Can you determine a composer's alcohol tolerance from the music that he/she writes?*

*Why are male composers more creative than female composers?*

*When Beethoven was out in the fields composing his 6th symphony, what did he do when he had to use the restroom?*


----------



## Dim7

Celloman said:


> *When Beethoven was out in the fields composing his 6th symphony, what did he do when he had to use the restroom?*


And most importantly, which part of the symphony depicts the "restroom" scene?

edit: it's quite obviously the fourth, the so called "storm" movement.


----------



## Celloman

Dim7 said:


> And most importantly, which part of the symphony depicts the "restroom" scene?


Did he just keep writing while he relieved himself? Did it affect the music he wrote?


----------



## Albert7

Celloman said:


> Did he just keep writing while he relieved himself? Did it affect the music he wrote?


That statement just merely sounds pretty scat (Ellastyle)-alogical indeed.


----------



## Dim7

Answer an Unasked Question: Answer a question nobody asked, do not tell what the question is and make sure the answer makes no sense without the question. I go first: Because with melons it's easier to do that.

Previous Poster Game: Write the username of the previous poster in the thread. So the next poster will simply write "Dim7" etc.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Answer an Unasked Question: Answer a question nobody asked, do not tell what the question and make sure the answer makes no sense without the question. I go first: Because with melons it's easier to do that.


Hey I didn't know you're a fan of my favourite composer! (Kurtag)

I'm just listening to Hommage à Frances-Marie Uitti (The Answered Unanswered Question).


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> Hey I didn't know you're a fan of my favourite composer! (Kurtag)
> 
> I'm just listening to Hommage à Frances-Marie Uitti (The Answered Unanswered Question).


Thumbs up for Kurtag btw... (this is not a stupid thread idea btw but approval here).


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why does the site allow polls when the answer to everything is going to be either:
Beethoven
Callas
Who cares
_or_
42?


----------



## KenOC

Who are the top composers besides Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, and those other guys?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why does the site allow polls when the answer to everything is going to be either:
> Beethoven
> Callas
> Who cares
> _or_
> 42?


The proletariat are kept pacified by the delusion of freedom of thought.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

dogen said:


> The proletariat are kept pacified by the delusion of freedom of thought.


Marxism is the opium of the intellectuals.

(Cf.: "Religion is the opium of the masses.")


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why does the site allow polls when the answer to everything is going to be either:
> Beethoven
> Callas
> Who cares
> _or_
> 42?


42 Up not 42 down...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> 42 Up not 42 down...


What's that?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> What's that?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


>


Sorry, my laptop is being a peasant, and I can only see a little square with some green on it. What's the picture of?


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> Sorry, my laptop is being a peasant, and I can only see a little square with some green on it. What's the picture of?


You're lucky. I can't even see a little square.


----------



## Dim7

Official Announcement From The TC staff:

The word "that" will be now counted as a naughty word by TC's automatic censor. I mean the word ****.


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> Official Announcement From The TC staff:
> 
> The word "that" will be now counted as a naughty word by TC's automatic censor. I mean the word ****.


**** **** .................................


----------



## Celloman

Dim7 said:


> Official Announcement From The TC staff:
> 
> The word "that" will be now counted as a naughty word by TC's automatic censor. I mean the word ****.


You mean **** we can't use **** word ever again??


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Official Announcement From The TC staff:
> 
> The word "that" will be now counted as a naughty word by TC's automatic censor. I mean the word ****.


What about m**ons? Are we still allowed to talk about them after we learnt what people like to do with them?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> What about m**ons? Are we still allowed to talk about them after we learnt what people like to do with them?


If it's appropriate and in context then yes. But if it's purely gratuitous then obviously not.

The same goes for bana***.


----------



## Guest

**** **** for a game of soldiers.


----------



## Balthazar

dogen said:


> If it's appropriate and in context then yes. But if it's purely gratuitous then obviously not.
> 
> The same goes for bana***.


I take it fruit salad is right out then?

Pity...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> If it's appropriate and in context then yes. But if it's purely gratuitous then obviously not.
> 
> The same goes for bana***.


Three asterisks? If this a special new fruit?


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> I take it fruit salad is right out then?
> 
> Pity...


That's just crude.


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Three asterisks? If this a special new fruit?


Yep, it's a GM *****.


----------



## Morimur

What's with the avatar-less people—do they think they're better than everyone else or something? Get a damn avatar!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Morimur said:


> What's with the avatar-less people-do they think they're better than everyone else or something? Get a damn avatar!!


And honestly! Other people whose usernames start with M! That's just blatant plagiarism.


----------



## Albert7

Morimur said:


> What's with the avatar-less people-do they think they're better than everyone else or something? Get a damn avatar!!


Some people prefer to cruise anonymously.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Casual Friday" Concerts

Orchestra members booked to perform concerts falling on "casual Friday" will now be permitted to wear leasurewear of their choosing on stage (jeans, t-shirts, sweatpants, tank-tops etc) and will be permitted to drink and smoke freely after 5pm, including during performance.


----------



## SimonNZ

Is resolution in classical music analogous to resolution in Regency novels?


----------



## Lukecash12

SimonNZ said:


> "Casual Friday" Concerts
> 
> Orchestra members booked to perform concerts falling on "casual Friday" will now be permitted to wear leasurewear of their choosing on stage (jeans, t-shirts, sweatpants, tank-tops etc) and will be permitted to drink and smoke freely after 5pm, including during performance.


Don't tempt me! If that were the case then I'd be sitting there, ready to perform in my pajamas with cognac and a nice, fat Hoyo de Monterrey cigar. To hell with formalities! I want to be comfortable, catch a little buzz, and taste a fat, earthy cigar. I'd arguably play better anyways.


----------



## Albert7

What pieces are the ones that make you the sleepy heads?


----------



## Corvus

Classical music and time travel: Did Mahler steal the opening to his first symphony from the Star Trek theme song?


----------



## Mahlerian

Corvus said:


> Classical music and time travel: Did Mahler steal the opening to his first symphony from the Star Trek theme song?


Don't you mean the main theme of the first movement of the Seventh?


----------



## Corvus

Well, I was listening to the first, but I will have to check out the seventh also! Darn wormholes...


----------



## Corvus

Have you ever called anyone a "nanny goat bassoonist?" and in what context?


----------



## Guest

I would like to introduce compulsory "contemporary music" dictation tests in the University and Conservatory ear-training syllabus. Final examination: the first 12 bars of *Cage's* _4'33_". To be played 3 times.


----------



## Dim7

Idiot Savant Thread Ideas: Post thread ideas which are extremely intelligent in one aspect, but otherwise very dumb


----------



## Albert7

Name classical pieces that were prepared for piano but not prepared for prepared piano.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Corvus said:


> Have you ever called anyone a "nanny goat bassoonist?" and in what context?


Well, there was an incident involving a field of goats and an orchestra...


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Well, there was an incident involving a field of goats and an orchestra...


At least it wasn't a symphony for goat biryani .


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> At least it wasn't a symphony for goat biryani .


----------



## Dim7

Outroduction to classical music: I want to stop listening to classical, recommend some pieces that will make me hate it


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Outroduction to classical music: I want to stop listening classical, recommend some pieces that will make me hate it


It would help if you gave an idea of the sorts of things you hate or are irritated by, to provide better recommendations. What really gets you riled? - hummable melodies, dischordant cacophony, pan pipes, Austrian composers, deification of small children...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> It would help if you gave an idea of the sorts of things you hate or are irritated by, to provide better recommendations. What really gets your goat? - hummable melodies, dischordant cacophony, pan pipes, Austrian composers, deification of small children...


Cacophonically hummable discordant panpipe music by deified Austrian children?

Edit: Ooh! _Deified_ is a palindrome!
Another edit: Actually, this sounds like a "thread idea" by a certain other member...


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Another edit: Actually, this sounds like a "thread idea" by a certain other member...


Do you feel an objective real world poll just for fun coming on?


----------



## Guest

Eternally Great Composers Exhibition.

(Doors to my head close at 5.30)


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> It would help if you gave an idea of the sorts of things you hate or are irritated by, to provide better recommendations. What really gets you riled? - hummable melodies, dischordant cacophony, pan pipes, Austrian composers, deification of small children...


Remember all those works I nominated in the "TC Top 12039893802 + √-5 Reprimanded Pieces of *****" -thread? That should give you some idea.

We put some serious effort into that thread, but I think it was worth it when all those pieces that have inflicted so much misery on our lives were finally officially reprimanded.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Remember all those works I nominated in the "TC Top 12039893802 + √-5 Reprimanded Pieces of *****" -thread? That should give you some idea.
> 
> We put some serious effort into that thread, but I think it was worth it when all those pieces that have inflicted so much misery on our lives were finally officially reprimanded.


Probably Verdi then.


----------



## Dim7

Fish For Compliments By Pseudo-Self-Deprecation

My Stupid Thread Ideas are so unfunny, nobody likes them!


----------



## Dim7

Pieces of People that you Associate with Music in your Life


----------



## GodNickSatan

Would Ravel's piano concerto for left hand be better if it was written for right hand?


----------



## Albert7

GodNickSatan said:


> Would Ravel's piano concerto for left hand be better if it was written for right hand?


Perhaps you can use a mirror and call it good anyways.


----------



## GodNickSatan

Albert7 said:


> Perhaps you can use a mirror and call it good anyways.


Can happily say it's a favourite of mine already!


----------



## Celloman

Why hasn't a piano concerto been written for body parts other than the hands?

One could use their head, feet, elbows, knees, and...um, other parts as well.


----------



## Guest

Albert7 said:


> At least it wasn't a symphony for *goat biryani* .


You been to Mumbai recently, Albert?
http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/news/world/asia/article4371177.ece


----------



## Corvus

Recommend some classical music that goes well with goat biryani. Maybe the symphony by Ravi Shankar?


----------



## Celloman

Dim7 said:


> Outroduction to classical music: I want to stop listening to classical, recommend some pieces that will make me hate it


I'd recommend a lethal dose of Penderecki's _Threnody_ with fava beans and a nice chianti.


----------



## Corvus

My first Organ Concerto: "I am Joe's Liver" Should I use gut stringed instruments?


----------



## Dim7

*What is the point of bad music?*

I like good music, but not bad music. That makes sense right? Good is better than bad. How could anyone argue with that? But some people listen to bad music. Why??

More importanty I don't get why composers wrote bad music sometimes. Why not just write a masterpiece after another? Why compose bad music at all? What's the point???


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> I like good music, but not bad music. That makes sense right? Good is better than bad. How could anyone argue with that? But some people listen to bad music. Why??
> 
> More importanty I don't get why composers wrote bad music sometimes. Why not just write a masterpiece after another? Why compose bad music at all? What's the point???


But first you have to define 'bad' music.


----------



## Corvus

Dim7 said:


> I like good music, but not bad music. That makes sense right? Good is better than bad. How could anyone argue with that? But some people listen to bad music. Why??
> 
> More importanty I don't get why composers wrote bad music sometimes. Why not just write a masterpiece after another? Why compose bad music at all? What's the point???


Referencing Jessica Rabbit: "I'm not bad, I'm just played that way!"


----------



## Dim7

Corvus said:


> Referencing Jessica Rabbit: "I'm not bad, I'm just played that way!"


Which raises the question - what's the point of playing badly?


----------



## omega

Dim7 said:


> Which raises the question - what's the point of playing badly?


Playing wrong notes: playing badly.
Playing wrong notes _on purpose_: giving an interpretation of the work.


----------



## Corvus

If bad music is played well, does it sound even worse?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: What Factors Contribute To Composers Becoming Forgiven?

*Poor memory / Amnesia / Alzheimer - listeners simply forget the horrible pieces the composers wrote
*Christianity and its emphasis on forgiveness
*Decandent new age hippie "live and let live" -mentality (or in the case of dead composers "live and let be dead")
*Postmodern "everything's relative, everything goes" -mentality
*Lack of awareness, laziness of haters to spread the message of hate properly
*Lack of access to the awful pieces (Really?? In the age of internet??)
*There's simply just too many composers to hate 
*Some composers are so overwhelmingly terrible that some bad composers seem like "good guys" in comparison


----------



## millionrainbows

Composer cross-breedings:

Boulez/Berlioz=Berliez, or Boulioz

Mozart/Beethoven: Mozthoven, or Capain Beethart

Schoenberg/John Williams: Johann Schoenilliams


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Corvus said:


> If bad music is played well, does it sound even worse?


The superposition of good and bad causes a tear in the space-time continuum and the world ends.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> I like good music, but not bad music. That makes sense right? Good is better than bad. How could anyone argue with that? But some people listen to bad music. Why??
> 
> More importanty I don't get why composers wrote bad music sometimes. Why not just write a masterpiece after another? Why compose bad music at all? What's the point???


It makes everyone scared that they're out of ideas, and then when they write something good, it makes the look better and everyone is relieved.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> I like good music, but not bad music. That makes sense right? Good is better than bad. How could anyone argue with that? But some people listen to bad music. Why??
> 
> More importanty I don't get why composers wrote bad music sometimes. Why not just write a masterpiece after another? Why compose bad music at all? What's the point???


If all music was good, it might come off as less good due to the lack of contrast. Therefore, the music world has chosen to champion a number of bad composers, to provide that contrast. When you go to a concert, you will notice that it often starts out with a bad work, in order to make the rest of the concert sound so much better.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> If all music was good, it might come off as less good due to the lack of contrast. Therefore, the music world has chosen to champion a number of bad composers, to provide that contrast. When you go to a concert, you will notice that it often starts out with a bad work, in order to make the rest of the concert sound so much better.


That explains Schoenberg I guess. He has the hugest gap between his fame and popularity. Everyone knows him but nobody likes him. He must be really "good at being bad" if that makes sense (it doesn't).


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> That explains Schoenberg I guess. He has the hugest gap between his fame and popularity. Everyone knows him but nobody likes him. He must be really "good at being bad" if that makes sense (it doesn't).


Worryingly, it does to me.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Remember all those works I nominated in the "TC Top 12039893802 + √-5 Reprimanded Pieces of *****" -thread? That should give you some idea.
> 
> We put some serious effort into that thread, but I think it was worth it when all those pieces that have inflicted so much misery on our lives were finally officially reprimanded.


Just to clarify, the thread title was supposed to be TC Top 12039893802 + √-5 Reprimanded Pieces of Mus*c, or M*sic. When I typed the thread title I didn't know that the word m*sic is auto-censored. I heard the reasoning was that it is politically incorrect to discriminate between supposedly "m*sical" and "non-m*sical" sounds, and that m*sic is a social construct anyway. No sounds should be privileged by such glorification it seems.


----------



## Guest

Clarification is a social construct.


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Clarification is a social construct.


As indeed is Obfuscation.


----------



## Guest

Polyphemus said:


> As indeed is Obfuscation.


That's not even legal in some states.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> That's not even legal in some states.


But legality is a social construct.


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> That's not even legal in some states.


You mean some states have no politicians, I wanna go there.
:lol: :lol: :tiphat:


----------



## Corvus

Is vomit the "universal language" of music critics?
(Referencing Million Rainbow's "I threw up in Daniel Barenboim's lap")


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Wrong Note Confessional Thread*
Post #1: I played a wrong note today. Please forgive me.
Post #2: I played another wrong note. Today is not my day!
Post #3: ARGH! Another wrong note. Can this get any worse?
Post #4: Alas, yet another wrong note.
Post #5: Oops, forgot the key signature...
Post #6: Hey, why is nobody else posting here?


----------



## Celloman

*Poll: If you put Mahlerian and millionrainbows into the ring at Schoenberg Square Gardens, who would win?*

A. Mahlerian, with an uppercut/left hook combinatorial
B. millionrainbows, with an atonal jab to the hexachords
C. Both of them would permutate.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> *Poll: If you put Mahlerian and millionrainbows into the ring at Schoenberg Square Gardens, who would win?*
> 
> A. Mahlerian, with an uppercut/left hook combinatorial
> B. millionrainbows, with an atonal jab to the hexachords
> C. Both of them would permutate.


But if millionrainbows tried B, Mahlerian would simply argue that it was nonsensical as atonality does not exist.


----------



## KenOC

Of course, with his mighty blow, millionrainbows would cry, "I refute it thus!"


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

I'd vote:

D. IDGAF

For mentioning some posters names you are all going to die, horribly

-silent moderator-


----------



## Dim7

You're favorite out of context quotes: Mine is "Dodecaphonic music is USELESS." - Pierre Boulez


----------



## millionrainbows

George Rochberg, after "defecting" back to tonality: "Burn down all the inversionally symmetrical hexachords!"


----------



## millionrainbows

A terrified Pierre Boulez, seeing the zombie-fied Schoenberg limping towards him menacingly: "B-but....*SCHOENBERG EST MORT!"*


----------



## Albert7

millionrainbows said:


> A terrified Pierre Boulez, seeing the zombie-fied Schoenberg limping towards him menacingly: "B-but....*SCHOENBERG EST MORT!"*


VIVA LA WEBERN then?


----------



## Dim7

*Help needed!*

Could anyone help me identify this piece? Information about the work below:

Composer: Ludwig Van Beethoven
Title: Symphony No. 5 in C minor
Opus number: 67
Time of composition: years 1804-1808. 
Link to a youtube performance

Thanks in advance.


----------



## Celloman

*Help needed!*

Hey, does anybody know who wrote Pachelbel's Canon? I've been trying to identify the composer for a couple of weeks now without success. Thanks for your help!


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Could anyone help me identify this piece? Information about the work below:
> 
> Composer: Ludwig Van Beethoven
> Title: Symphony No. 5 in C minor
> Opus number: 67
> Time of composition: years 1804-1808.
> 
> Thanks in advance.


That's easy. It's the duh-duh-duh-DUM, duh-duh-duh-DUM one.


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> That's easy. It's the duh-duh-duh-DUM, duh-duh-duh-DUM one.


Huh? Is that like the genre of the piece or something? I don't understand. Here's also a youtube link to the piece. Now that we know the composer, the title, and what it sounds like, maybe someone could finally identify it.


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Huh? Is that like the genre of the piece or something? I don't understand. Here's also a youtube link to the piece. Now that we know the composer, the title, and what it sounds like, maybe someone could finally identify it.


You definitely you have a winner when you identify it based on this:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

So, guys, I've been reading about this Tchaikovksy, right? And they say he was born in 1840? So, how did he write an 1812 overture? Was he, like, minus 28 years old? And would that make him even more of a prodigy than Mozart?

(and why am I still writing in questions? am I becoming addicted to AaQwaQ?)


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> So, guys, I've been reading about this Tchaikovksy, right? And they say he was born in 1840? So, how did he write an 1812 overture? Was he, like, minus 28 years old? And would that make him even more of a prodigy than Mozart?
> 
> (and why am I still writing in questions? am I becoming addicted to AaQwaQ?)


Because Alma Deutcher is Tchaikovsky's grandfather.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Because Alma Deutcher is Tchaikovsky's grandfather.


I though Tchaikovsky was her sister-in-law. Or was that Bach?


----------



## Albert7

Realizing that the "effective. Power لُلُصّبُلُلصّبُررً ॣ ॣh ॣ ॣ 冗" iPhone bug can be used for a symphony of iPhone lights going on and off during a Stockhausen opera performance adding to the full effects.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> I though Tchaikovsky was her sister-in-law. Or was that Bach?


No - Bach is the mother of Alma Deutcher and the son of Tchaikovsky.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

But you said Deutscher was Tchaikovsky's grandfather? Or was that his cousin? Or hers? Didn't in-laws feature somewhere?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> But you said Deutscher was Tchaikovsky's grandfather? Or was that his cousin? Or hers? Didn't in-laws feature somewhere?


Maybe we should have a relative celebrity deathmatch a la MTV style where we can feature some of her compositions as the background WWF-like theme?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Maybe we should have a relative celebrity deathmatch a la MTV style where we can feature some of her compositions as the background WWF-like theme?


But that's domestic violence!


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> But that's domestic violence!







O RLY? Music versus movie for this example.






Reminds me of Otto Dix meets Lulu times.


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> I though Tchaikovsky was her sister-in-law. Or was that Bach?


There are no in-laws in classical music.


----------



## Albert7

TresPicos said:


> There are no in-laws in classical music.


Oh, I thought that you said that there were no laws in classical music.


----------



## Guest

Tired Old Arguments


Don't clutter the rest of the board! Dump your same, tedious comments here! If it's been said (probably by you) a hundred times before this is the thread for you.

(Note handy Modern Means Inferior sub-thread; accessible with the code 433)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> There are no in-laws in classical music.


What about outlaws?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> But you said Deutscher was Tchaikovsky's grandfather? Or was that his cousin? Or hers? Didn't in-laws feature somewhere?


Yes, Tchaikovsky's son Bach is the mother of Alma Deutcher who is the grandfather of Tchaikovsky. What is so difficult to understand?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Yes, Tchaikovskys son Bach is the mother of Alma Deutcher who is the grandfather of Tchaikovsky. What is so difficult to understand?


But Bach's mother was Beethoven's brother... wasn't she? Or was that Mozart's? Or was Mozart Liszt's aunt?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: How Do You Hate Your Fries?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: How Do You Like To Be Fried?


----------



## Dim7

Itzik111 said:


> I Don't Understand You


The lack of understanding is mutual


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: How Do You Like To Be Fried?


Do you like your Mozart symphony deep fried?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Do you like your Mozart symphony deep fried?


The early symphonies, yes. The later ones are better for roasting.


----------



## KenOC

SONNET CLV said:


> William Schuman Vs. Roy Harris? This sounds too much like the lead up to a pay-per-view boxing match. I'd just rather listen to the fellers' music..


Well, that's from another thread. But what about a match between Haydn and Mozart? The one older and more experienced, the other younger and maybe with more staying power. What would you pay to see this brawl?

Fightin' Franz Joseph versus Kid Wolfie! Maybe somebody can post a blow-by-blow, with knockdowns and other gruesome details. How long would it go? Who would prevail? A winner on points or a clean knockout? I bet we'd all like to know!


----------



## Albert7

KenOC said:


> Well, that's from another thread. But what about a match between Haydn and Mozart? The one older and more experienced, the other younger and maybe with more staying power. What would you pay to see this brawl?
> 
> Fightin' Franz Joseph versus Kid Wolfie! Maybe somebody can post a blow-by-blow, with knockdowns and other gruesome details. How long would it go? Who would prevail? A winner on points or a clean knockout? I bet we'd all like to know!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

KenOC said:


> Well, that's from another thread. But what about a match between Haydn and Mozart? The one older and more experienced, the other younger and maybe with more staying power. What would you pay to see this brawl?
> 
> Fightin' Franz Joseph versus Kid Wolfie! Maybe somebody can post a blow-by-blow, with knockdowns and other gruesome details. How long would it go? Who would prevail? A winner on points or a clean knockout? I bet we'd all like to know!


Or that old classic, Mozart vs Beethoven:
The battle of the symphonies! Can Beethoven, with his nine huge symphonies, Mozart and his more numerous but smaller ones?


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> I think the usual complaint that it is too long & too repetitive, not that it is too complex.


Well, this STI thread of ours is 5000+ posts long and we do repeat ourselves somewhat, so I guess they've got a point. When it comes to complexity, they would also have a case, I think. There are quite a few complex posts in here, and even many of the one-liner posts can be very complex and difficult to understand. I hope this doesn't change anything, though.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Hello there,
> 
> Got room for another member?
> 
> Considering the time I spend on the Internet and my love for classical music, I'm somewhat amazed that it took me this long to come up with the idea of joining a forum for classical music. Well, better late than never.
> 
> I've always been into classical music, but even more so in recent years, as I get older and as mainstream music get duller. I'm a mediocre piano player but a decent (choir) singer, and when I don't listen to classical music, I like to compose some myself.
> 
> My favorite composers are (in no particular order) Bartok, Dvorak, Shostakovich, Mozart, Schubert, Debussy, Ravel, Ibert and de Falla. Easy listening as well as modern stuff.
> 
> When it comes to non-classical music, I'm a huge Steely Dan fan.
> 
> See you around!


LOL good one. Joining a classical music forum, now that's a stupid idea :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

TresPicos said:


> Well, this STI thread of ours is 5000+ posts long and we do repeat ourselves somewhat, so I guess they've got a point. When it comes to complexity, they would also have a case, I think. There are quite a few complex posts in here, and even many of the one-liner posts can be very complex and difficult to understand. I hope this doesn't change anything, though.


In light of that, do you think "Stupid Thread Ideas" is too complicated for general mass consumption? Is it elitist, or overly systematized? Does it have "hidden processes" that are not immediately apparent? Is it 'unnatural?'

Let's get KenOC to take a poll.


----------



## Polyphemus

"Stupid Thread Ideas" is the nerve centre of T C. It is undoubtedly the thread from which the majority of important and progressive ideas emanate.

:lol: :lol:


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> LOL good one. Joining a classical music forum, now that's a stupid idea :lol:


Yeah, I kind of regret it now...


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Yeah, I kind of regret it now...


Sorry, I thought it was a joke. My condolences.


----------



## millionrainbows

Is tonality audible, or is it just a concept used to entertain royalty?
Does atonal music really exist, or is it simply a ghost-like manifestation of malevolent karmic forces created by the 'symmetry of evil' (see William Blake's _Tiger, Tiger_)
Are 'hidden processes' in serialism inaudible, or are they as apparent as nursery rhymes and lullabies, which the postman whistles as he delivers your latest issue of MAD magazine?


----------



## TresPicos

*My 959th post!!!* :trp:

Like in D 959, Schubert's 20th piano sonata, my favorite Schubert piano sonata!


----------



## TresPicos

millionrainbows said:


> In light of that, do you think "Stupid Thread Ideas" is too complicated for general mass consumption? Is it elitist, or overly systematized? Does it have "hidden processes" that are not immediately apparent? Is it 'unnatural?'


I think it's too complicated for _everyone_, including those of us who participate in it. Half of the time, we don't seem to know what we are doing. I mean, this is the thread where even the one-liners are incomprehensible.

I, for one, have long since given up and now I basically just keep posting randomly to up my post count. And once in a while, someone likes a post of mine, probably because it was too complicated and they misinterpreted it.

I consider myself to be at least somewhat stupid, but I still always have the feeling that I miss the mark and don't really "get" the thread...

As for "not immediately apparent hidden processes", I haven't seen any such processes immediately reveal themselves to me in an apparent way.

Is the thread unnatural? Sure it is, but in a tacky, grotesque, unsightly kind of way.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> *My 959th post!!!* :trp:
> 
> Like in D 959, Schubert's 20th piano sonata, my favorite Schubert piano sonata!


Hmm... do you think Telemann wrote an Op. 3186?


----------



## Guest

New 4'33" Box Set.......


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> New 4'33" Box Set.......


OMG!!!!!!! Do you have the Callas recording?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> OMG!!!!!!! Do you have the Callas recording?


Of course: it's beyond the best!!!! The cough in the second movement is just divine beyond ecstatic heavenly!!!


----------



## Celloman

*To those who dislike most of Schoenberg's serial music... (shoot first, ask questions later)*


----------



## Dim7

To those who dislike most of Schoenberg's serial music... (lock before reading)


----------



## Guest

To those who like most of Schoenberg's serial music... an antidote has been found!


----------



## Dim7

Threads won't leave me alone (Site Feedback & Technical Support)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: To those who like most of Schoenberg's serial music... I ask you politely not to vote in this poll


----------



## Guest

Poll: How vehemently do you quite like Xenakis' Infractum Magnetis?


----------



## Dim7

Thread Title: To those who won't open this thread....
Poll: To those who haven't bothered to read this poll "question"...


----------



## Dim7

Poll: If you were a thread, what thread would you be or want to be?

Poll: If you were a fruit, which viola string would you like to be?


----------



## millionrainbows

More composer cross-breedings:

Harrison Birtwistle/Lou Harrison=Harrison Harrison


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Poll: If you were a thread, what thread would you be or want to be?


Any of the Callas threads. I would demand blood sacrifices every day.



Dim7 said:


> Poll: If you were a fruit, which viola string would you like to be?


But violas have petals, not strings....


----------



## millionrainbows

Performer/composer cross-breedings:

Maria Callas/Luigi Dallapicola: Marigi Dallacallola.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Poll: If you were a fruit, which viola string would you like to be?


Copland, Bernstein, Cowell, Harbison, Tiolson-Thomas, etc.


----------



## millionrainbows

Celloman said:


> *To those who dislike most of Schoenberg's serial music... (shoot first, ask questions later)*


*To those who dislike most of Schoenberg's serial music... where are your papers?? Passport, please! Vat are you doink standing around on the corner? Vhy do you look that vay? Achtung!!


*


----------



## millionrainbows

Cross-breeding:

Tiger Woods/John Cage: Tiger Cage.

You've heard of prepared pianos. Now, get ready for "prepared singers," made to gargle various liquids.


----------



## Mahlerian

millionrainbows said:


> Copland, Bernstein, Cowell, *Harbison*, Tiolson-Thomas, etc.


Don't you mean Harrison?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Cross-breeding: Carl Maria von Weber and Maria Callas = Maria Carlas


----------



## Dim7

Arnold Schoenberg x Alban Berg x Anton Webern = Arbantold Schoenweberg


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Franz Berwald x Havergal Brian = Brian Surgeon


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Arbantold Schoenweberg


I have his Double Concerto for Marimba and Electric Toothbrush.


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> I have his Double Concerto for Marimba and Electric Toothbrush.


Music for 18 Electric Toothbrushes and 5 Machine Gun Flutes


----------



## MoonlightSonata

William Byrd x John Williams = William Williams
Now, what would this music be like? Choral, profound and occasionally slightly plagiarised film scores?


----------



## Dim7

I have heard some forum members talking about their children. Do you guys understand what that implies, about what they have done at some point during their lives? Should we ban these debauchees?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I have heard some forum members talking about their children. Do you guys understand what that implies, about what they have done at some point during their lives? [...]


Cooked dinner for said offspring?


----------



## Dim7

TalkingHead said:


> Cooked dinner for said offspring?


Is this thread starting to look like another thread?


----------



## Guest

In what sense similar?


----------



## Dim7

Does it make any sense to begin with (it doesn't)?


----------



## Guest

This is a thread for silly ideas, Dogen. Please respect the framework.


----------



## Guest

I do not understand the parentheses in Dim 7 #5516 above.


----------



## Mahlerian

MoonlightSonata said:


> William Byrd x John Williams = William Williams
> Now, what would this music be like? Choral, profound and occasionally slightly plagiarised film scores?


so much depends upon
a red wheelbarrow
glazed with rainwater
beside the white chickens.


----------



## TresPicos

Okay, so I just listened to some Albanian violin concerto about an angel or something, which was very weird, but I kind of liked it anyway. 

It felt like I was swept up in some kind of flow and traveled along with the music. And at the end, it sat me down gently on the ground. So, I know where I ended up, but how do I know where I started? Where did the music itself start, and where did it sweep me up? I know the music started with the first notes in the score, but I mean "where" rather as a location. How do you find out these things?


----------



## Albert7

Mahlerian said:


> so much depends upon
> a red wheelbarrow
> glazed with rainwater
> beside the white chickens.


dependent on tri chords
no one really surmises blue = semiquavers
lack of resolution


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> Okay, so I just listened to some Albanian violin concerto about an angel or something, which was very weird, but I kind of liked it anyway.
> 
> It felt like I was swept up in some kind of flow and traveled along with the music. And at the end, it sat me down gently on the ground. So, I know where I ended up, but how do I know where I started? Where did the music itself start, and where did it sweep me up? I know the music started with the first notes in the score, but I mean "where" rather as a location. How do you find out these things?


Send a letter to the conductor, and they will review their conducting to work out where they you must have started to end up where you are.


----------



## Dim7

Answer A Thread With A Reply


----------



## Guest

Answer an Infraction with a Like.


----------



## Dim7

Answer A Like With A Report


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Answer a Report with a Nasty PM


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Answer a Report with a Nasty PM


Isn't that the default reaction?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Isn't that the default reaction?


Isn't "default" a social constr-- oops, wrong thread.


----------



## Dim7

Your Favorite/Favourite Music Theory Innuendos


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: Do You Believe That A Giant Teapot Is Orbiting The Sun?


----------



## mstar

Who owns the copyright to the orchestrated version of 4'33"?
And how long should the orchestra warm up before performing it?





(This was on Youtube's suggestions for me and the first thing I thought of was the Stupid Thread Ideas thread)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

mstar said:


> Who owns the copyright to the orchestrated version of 4'33"?
> And how long should the orchestra warm up before performing it?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (This was on Youtube's suggestions for me and the first thing I thought of was the Stupid Thread Ideas thread)


Warm-ups really are important. Miss one of those rests and it could be _disastrous_!


----------



## Dim7

Embarrassing pictures of forum members to ruin their day


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Do You Believe That A Giant Teapot Is Orbiting The Sun?


I do, and this is the thread where you have to prove I'm wrong.


----------



## Dim7

Automobiles during a concert: what would you do?

Poll: Do you think?


----------



## omega

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Do you think?


Answer: Yes, with some salt.


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> Poll: Do You Believe That A Giant Teapot Is Orbiting The Sun?


Hey! Are you into Gong too? Right on, bro!


----------



## millionrainbows

Schoenberg, numerology, The Kabbala, and the Jewish conspiracy to destroy music. Hey, that's not funny...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

omega said:


> Answer: Yes, with some salt.


I prefer it with pepper.


----------



## Albert7

Music to know how tired you are after a long day drinking that Webernesque lager.


----------



## Guest

millionrainbows said:


> Schoenberg, numerology, The Kabbala, and the Jewish conspiracy to destroy music. Hey, that's not funny...


That's currently being discussed in my Masonic musical codes thread.

Get your apron on.


----------



## Guest

Does the Loch Ness Monster exist?

I think so, and so does the Scottish Tourist Board.


----------



## millionrainbows

dogen said:


> That's currently being discussed in my Masonic musical codes thread.
> 
> Get your apron on.


I can't, they took away my apron after they ostracized me.


----------



## Dim7

Post deleted..............


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> *Your favorite likes*
> 
> I personally like the likes given by Ingélou and Taggart to dogen's post "Aah right. Cheers."


To be fair, that's a post I edited. Originally (before Enlikening), it had merely said "Aah right."


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> *Your favorite likes*
> 
> I personally like the likes given by Ingélou and Taggart to dogen's post "Aah right. Cheers."


Yes, those likes are ingenious!


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> To be fair, that's a post I edited. Originally (before Enlikening), it had merely said "Aah right."


Don't get me wrong, I find your "Aah right. Cheers." post itself quite repulsive (no offense intended. It's just that the post should have been either a bit longer or shorter, but that precise length was really annoying). But 'liking' that post was quite impressive feat indeed, precisely because of its repulsiveness. It's a bit like atonal music and how liking it increases your status.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Yes, those likes are ingenious!


Yes, they were very ingelounious and innovative, especially for their time - I don't think anyone had at that point thought of liking somebody's "Ok, I got it" message, except maybe if the liker was the one who the post was replying to.


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> except maybe if the liker was the one who the post was replying to.


This, for me, is the crucial point. There have been times that some of us, I'm sure, have liked an "Ok, I got it" message in response to one of our own messages without giving it much thought--it's a courteous though not particularly heartfelt acknowledgement. To give such a like to a stray post responding to someone else, though--that's most impressive, imo. Maybe in "Current Listening" it could happen by accident as one flies through the thread giving likes as fast as the forum software will allow; but in the instance you identify it's obviously a conscious and deliberate decision. Thanks for bringing this up, Dim7.


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> *Your favorite likes*
> 
> I personally like the likes given by Ingélou and Taggart to dogen's post "Aah right. Cheers."





dogen said:


> To be fair, that's a post I edited. Originally (before Enlikening), it had merely said "Aah right."


Not as I remember it; what I was 'liking' was the *Cheers* bit. 
I always like good manners on the forum - and am always surprised at bad manners.

But in case you think I was implying that your good manners were unusual, I've unliked the post. :tiphat:

As I've explained on TC many times, 'likes' in my view serve a number of functions, such as 'disagree but respect', 'good joke', 'I agree', 'I want to show sympathy', or even 'I've read this post'. 
And that's the point - I always do read a post before liking it. I may sometimes misread a post - don't we all - but I never give a 'like' automatically without reading. 
But if anyone objects to my posting 'likes' on their posts, all they need to do is pm me.


----------



## Guest

@Blancrocher
Stray post!? Stray?! I can assure you I deposited that post with forensic accuracy.


----------



## Guest

Fess up Dim, you're just jealous.


----------



## Ingélou

Nothing for him to be jealous of now.


----------



## Guest

Ingélou said:


> Nothing for him to be jealous of now.


I hope that isn't the start of a trend.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Don't get me wrong, I find your "Aah right. Cheers." post itself quite repulsive (no offense intended. It's just that the post should have been either a bit longer or shorter, but that precise length was really annoying). But 'liking' that post was quite a impressive feat indeed, precisely because of its repulsiveness. It's a bit like atonal music and how liking it increases your status.


You clearly don't understand modern post length. Short and long are not determined by number of lines alone; the consonant/vowel ratio is also a determinant of character duration. Asyntactic magnetism does not require additional signifiers, such as emoticons. Until you understand these fairly basic parameters you will remain confused and probably repulsed by many modern posts. The problem is your eyes, not your faulty grasp of contemporary forum interractions. And please don't start with the old canard of odd/even numbers of lines (whether explicit or implied).


----------



## Guest

I'm repulsed by your liking my post.

(but please don't unlike it)


----------



## Guest

******* (expletive deleted)


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> You clearly don't understand modern post length. Short and long are not determined by number of lines alone; the consonant/vowel ratio is also a determinant of character duration. Asyntactic magnetism does not require additional signifiers, such as emoticons. Until you understand these fairly basic parameters you will remain confused and probably repulsed by many modern posts. The problem is your eyes, not your faulty grasp of contemporary forum interractions. And please don't start with the old canard of odd/even numbers of lines (whether explicit or implied).


I wish people could just open their minds a little and at least try to understand why some posters choose modern posting styles. Or at least respect that some of us do. We're not doing it because we hate traditional posting or want to look posh or anything. We just like writing modern posts.

(I've written this in traditional posting style in order not to offend anyone)


----------



## Kilgore Trout

People answering their own questions.

In this thread, you ask yourself a question then answer it. If you're wrong, feel free to say so in a third post.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Post deleted..............


I see that you have deleted the post I quoted.

For $50 I can remove it from my quote as well. Just PM me.


----------



## TresPicos

Ingélou said:


> But if anyone objects to my posting 'likes' on their posts, all they need to do is pm me.


Can you please not like Dim7's and dogen's posts so much. It makes me look bad.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> I wish people could just open their minds a little and at least try to understand why some posters choose modern posting styles. Or at least respect that some of us do. We're not doing it because we hate traditional posting or want to look posh or anything. We just like writing modern posts.
> 
> (I've written this in traditional posting style in order not to offend anyone)


I heard you can learn to appreciate harsh and dissonant posts in a modern style if you just read them over and over again. I'm reading this post by Dim7Sucks for the 1000th time now: "Dim7 is a worthless loser!! Nobody likes Dim7!! He deserves a slow and torturous death!!" It seemed a really unpleasant post for the first time but I've got used to it by now. In fact it seems flattering now how much the poster is thinking about me. It's probably just an alternate way of showing affection.


----------



## KenOC

Dim7 said:


> I heard you can learn to appreciate harsh and dissonant posts in a modern style if you just read them over and over again.


I don't read anything that makes my eyes bleed.


----------



## Mahlerian

KenOC said:


> I don't read anything that makes my eyes bleed.


Yo_u sho_*uld av*_oid rea_ding thi*s, then.*


----------



## Ingélou

TresPicos said:


> Can you please not like Dim7's and dogen's posts so much. It makes me look bad.


That problem may be over... :devil:


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> Can you please not like Dim7's and dogen's posts so much. It makes me look bad.


It's OK they get unliked or deleted. In the end, it just seems like a dream.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> I heard you can learn to appreciate harsh and dissonant posts in a modern style if you just read them over and over again. I'm reading this post by Dim7Sucks for the 1000th time now: "Dim7 is a worthless loser!! Nobody likes Dim7!! He deserves a slow and torturous death!!" It seemed a really unpleasant post for the first time but I've got used to it by now. In fact it seems flattering now how much the poster is thinking about me. It's probably just an alternate way of showing affection.


Yes, yes. It's an acquired taste.


----------



## Guest

I'm trying to listen to an atonal modern work but I keep being distracted by the sound of Dim7's sobbing.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> I'm trying to listen to an atonal modern work but I keep being distracted by the sound of Dim7's sobbing.


I think you mean "so**ing".


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I think you mean "sodding".


I'd reply, but I've just seen I'm today's " top poster" so I won't...


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> I'd reply, but I've just seen I'm today's " top poster" so I won't...


I'd tell you that you're in fact also the top poster of last 7 days but I'm afraid that would be too much for you to handle so I won't.


----------



## arpeggio

I'm not prejudiced. Some of my best friends like atonal music but.....


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I'd tell you that you're in fact also the top poster of last 7 days but I'm afraid that would be too much for you to handle so I won't.


Well I seem to have had a personal cybercrash so that will soon subside!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> Well I seem to have had a personal cybercrash so that will soon subside!


Were you cyberdriving safely?


----------



## Guest

I had my cyber seatbelt on but I just hit a cyber wall!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Were you the victim of a cybercrime?


----------



## Guest

Are you only posting questions in every thread now?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Is there something wrong with that?


----------



## Guest

Well, might it be contagious?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Would that be so bad?


----------



## Guest

Doesn't this place run on assertions though?


----------



## TresPicos

Do you have to ask all these questions?


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> Do you have to ask all these questions?


No, but I think Dim7 keeps editing my posts?

Last edited by Dim7; Today at 08.11. Reason: Because I can!!!


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> No, but I think Dim7 keeps editing my posts?


There shouldn't be a question mark at the end of that sentence because it's not a question?


----------



## Guest

There should if you can't stop your voice going up at the end?


----------



## Guest

Last distorted by Dim7; May-35-1634 at 27:76. Reason: 4 ma nutz?


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> Last distorted by Dim7; May-35-1634 at 27:76. Reason: 4 ma nutz?


These nutz via Dr. Dre meets Beethoven.


----------



## Dim7

The Existentially Angsty Existential Angst Thread


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Albert7 said:


> These nutz via Dr. Dre meets Beethoven.


Not a question, Albert. Other than that, fair comment, I think?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The Oh I Literally Though This Was AaQwaQ For A Moment Thread


----------



## Ingélou

If medieval music is zen, is romantic music shamanistic?

Is music written for dancing inevitably *naff*?

Ten words to use in my General Music Appreciation essay to sound intellectual.

Do Musical Geniuses tend to have blue eyes or brown?

Best Musical Instrument to pretend to play to impress my new girlfriend?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Albert7 said:


> These nutz via Dr. Dre meets Beethoven.





TurnaboutVox said:


> Not a question, Albert. Other than that, fair comment, I think?





MoonlightSonata said:


> The Oh I Literally Though This Was AaQwaQ For A Moment Thread


Nurse, nurse, where am I? It can't be Wednesday, I don't post in STI on Wednesdays...or was that February?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Ingélou said:


> Best Musical Instrument to pretend to play to impress my new girlfriend?


 Does Taggart know?


----------



## Guest

It's inevitable that eventually, either by accident or design, STI and AaQwaQ will meld.


----------



## Guest

Answer a stupid thread idea with a question


































?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TurnaboutVox said:


> Nurse, nurse, where am I? It can't be Wednesday, I don't post in STI on Wednesdays...or was that February?





dogen said:


> Answer a stupid thread idea with a question


I'm covering all options from now on...


----------



## Dim7

Answer a stupid question with a smart thread idea


----------



## Albert7

Beethoven string quartets to be pumped underwater in a swimming pool.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Thread a stupid answer with a question idea question.


----------



## Dim7

*Phrases or words that have an English equivalent:* For example, the Finnish word "omena" exactly and precisely corresponds to the English word "apple". Also the English word "apple" is equivalent to the English word "apple".


----------



## Dim7

Misread composer quotes: 

"My need to express myself musically, symphonically, begins only in the realm of obscene feelings..." (Gustav Mahler, the quote in Mahlerian's signature)


----------



## Blancrocher

**Posted in New Members - Introductions**

Hi Everybody,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is MusicThatSucks. I like a lot of music, but while on the forum here I intend to just listen to music that I think is totally worthless just to confirm my belief that it really is worthless. Since I don't want to argue or cause offense, I look forward to posting solely in Current Listening. See you soon!

Sincerely, 
MusicThatSucks


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> **Posted in New Members - Introductions**
> 
> Hi Everybody,
> 
> Allow me to introduce myself. My name is MusicThatSucks. I like a lot of music, but while on the forum here I intend to just listen to music that I think is totally worthless just to confirm my belief that it really is worthless. Since I don't want to argue or cause offense, I look forward to posting solely in Current Listening. See you soon!
> 
> Sincerely,
> MusicThatSucks


The "Hate" STIle never gets old....


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> The "Hate" STIle never gets old....


Unlike certain other ones...


----------



## Guest

Stupid thread idea or the most practical idea ever?

The Albert7 Stupid Thread Ideas Translation Thread


----------



## Guest

nathanb said:


> Stupid thread idea or the most practical idea ever?
> 
> The Albert7 Stupid Thread Ideas Translation Thread


Well we'd need someone who understood them.....


----------



## Guest

dogen said:


> Well we'd need someone who understood them.....


Good point. Does anyone understand the humor in the Beethoven quartet pool-pump? Surely, if we put our heads together on this one...

Another alternative is that we may learn more about this phenomenon if we try to replicate it. Thread idea: CPE Bach wears a hat but there's a banana nearby.


----------



## Blancrocher

Question: Can we report people for not taking STI seriously enough?


----------



## millionrainbows

*My Favorite Bruckner:* I'm listening to it right now...let's see...which one is this...gosh, it's so slow...getting drowsy...must staay awaake...eyelids feel like barbells....going under...zzzzzzzz.....snoooorre....


----------



## millionrainbows

Blancrocher said:


> Question: Can we report people for not taking STI seriously enough?


Sure, go ahead...I've been reported for less...:lol:


----------



## Albert7

Translate your favorite STi into Pig Latin.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Translate your favourite STI into Latin.


----------



## Guest

Dada:

Is it a great art movement or is it a bicycle?


----------



## KenOC

Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd -- Is it true that this is exactly what Wagner had in mind?


----------



## Guest

Fluxus:

Is it a great art movement or is it "BICYCLES" with shouting?


----------



## Dim7

*Does Manuel de Falla's Absolute Value Deviate From The Average Absolute Value Of Composers More Than Average?*

Suppose you would give composers "points" based on their "absolute value" to you: composers you feel totally indifferent about would get 0 points, some composer X you like would get for example 45 points, and another composer you hate exactly the same amount as you like the composer X would get 45 points as well. This way we could count the "average" absolute value of all composers. Furthermore we could then count the mean deviation from the average. Do you think the deviation of Manuel de Falla's absolute value from the average absolute value of composers would be more or less than the mean deviation?


----------



## TresPicos

Dear TalkClassical users,

Normally we don't post announcements when we ban users, but now we feel compelled to make an exception. It has come to our attention that more than 80 accounts here at TalkClassical share the same IP address. Only one of the accounts is in regular use: TresPicos. Therefore, that user has now been permanently banned.

However, the real problem is with the other accounts. Through these accounts, TresPicos has uploaded more than 200,000 pictures and movies of cats, causing the rest of TalkClassical to run with only a fraction of its intended disk space. Once all pictures and movies have been removed, we are confident that the recent downtime and performance problems here at TalkClassical will disappear.

/The TalkClassical Administration


----------



## millionrainbows

Latest Stupid Thread Idea: my own, "Webern: Atonality is Oneness with God."


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> *Does Manuel de Falla's Absolute Value Deviate From The Average Absolute Value Of Composers More Than Average?*
> 
> Suppose you would give composers "points" based on their "absolute value" to you: composers you feel totally indifferent about would get 0 points, some composer X you like would get for example 45 points, and another composer you hate exactly the same amount as you like the composer X would get 45 points as well. This way we could count the "average" absolute value of all composers. Furthermore we could then count the mean deviation from the average. Do you think the deviation of Manuel de Falla's absolute value from the average absolute value of composers would be more or less than the mean deviation?


That depends - are we excluding Cage and Schoenberg as outliers? They would have massive absolute values.


----------



## arpeggio

Is Napoleon is great composer?


----------



## Albert7

Is Napoleon Dynamite a better composer?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Is Napoleon Dynamite a better composer?


Who's that?


----------



## Albert7

Jurassic Farce Symphony.

And Napoleon Dynamite was the next Mozart. Proof.


----------



## TresPicos

Your top 10 things that classical music is so much better than

Answer a question with a sarcastic smirk (either smiley or photo)

TC Top 100 Recommended Post-May-2015 works

Which is the fastest slow movement in a Classical era symphony? Is it faster than the slowest fast movement? What about if you compare the average absolute values, and turn it into a fight? Who would win that fight?

A number of composers (e g Chopin, Shostakovich, Scriabin, Kabalevsky) have written a set of 24 preludes. Why did they all write 24 preludes, and not 23 or 25? It can't be a coincidence. Is it a curse, like all those cases when composers died just minutes after finishing their ninth symphonies, only with 24 preludes instead? 

Answer a question with a 100-word threat translated through Google Translate from English to Dutch to Italian and then to enough languages of your choice to neutralize the threatening tone when it's translated back to English again. 

Tuba players, how do you handle the rain? Or do you stay indoors with the rest of the orchestra during concerts?

Don't post a picture of yourself


----------



## KenOC

Can somebody identify this classical piece? I'll hum it. I'm tone-deaf, but you should be able to make it out.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Message to Users:*
A bug has been discovered that causes all usernames to be interpreted literally when profiles are being displayed. If you see a profile like any of the following, please report it to the moderators.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Message to Users:*
> A bug has been discovered that causes all usernames to be interpreted literally when profiles are being displayed. If you see a profile like any of the following, please report it to the moderators.
> View attachment 71085


Hahaha... thank goodness I don't appear on that example .


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Hahaha... thank goodness I don't appear on that example .


 . .


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Message to Users:*
> A bug has been discovered that causes all usernames to be interpreted literally when profiles are being displayed. If you see a profile like any of the following, please report it to the moderators.
> View attachment 71085


4 notes, not 3!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> 4 notes, not 3!


Close enough...


----------



## Dim7

Modality is 82739,231-ness with reptiles


----------



## TurnaboutVox

KenOC said:


> Can somebody identify this classical piece? I'll hum it. I'm tone-deaf, but you should be able to make it out.


At first hearing I thought it might be Haydn's string quartet in B sharp major or B sharp minor, but on reflection it's a Webern cantata in free atonal mode.

Next time can you swallow what you're chewing before you hum?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Modality is 82739,231-ness with reptiles


And this is after editing?!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TurnaboutVox said:


> At first hearing I thought it might be Haydn's string quartet in B sharp major or B sharp minor, but on reflection it's a *Webern cantata in free atonal mode.*
> 
> Next time can you swallow what you're chewing before you hum?


Ah, of course! I'd know that oneness with God anywhere.


----------



## Dim7

What concepts are you currently deconstructing?


----------



## arpeggio

I am not a musician but I have just completed a symphony. What do you think?


----------



## arpeggio

I have read that Bach hated Schoenberg. Why is that?


----------



## Celloman

Current threads:

*What does it mean for music to reflect the latest Twitter updates?*

*Verdi, Wagner and pop tarts*

*Cage: Mushrooms are Oneness with god*

*Why didn't Stravinsky "like" Messiaen?*


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> *Why didn't Stravinsky "like" Messiaen?*


You mean on Facebook?


----------



## Celloman

MoonlightSonata said:


> You mean on Facebook?


Precisely, my binary friend!


----------



## Albert7

Binary number symphony over AirPlay like an air ball.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Binary number symphony over AirPlay like an air ball.


? ? ?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Inconclusiv.. unfinish...


----------



## Dim7

whoops, a single post.


----------



## Dim7

whoops, a single post.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

whoops, a double post.


----------



## Guest

Why doesn't Scriabin like CPE Bach?


----------



## Grizzled Ghost

Here's a stupid thread idea:

Why No Great 18th Century Saxophone Concertos?

Ok, I've made my contribution to the progress (or decline?) of what passes for civilization around here.

Adieu! :tiphat:


----------



## Balthazar

Why doesn't my brother-in-law like the maître d' at Morton's?


----------



## Grizzled Ghost

mstar said:


> Who owns the copyright to the orchestrated version of 4'33"?
> And how long should the orchestra warm up before performing it?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (This was on Youtube's suggestions for me and the first thing I thought of was the Stupid Thread Ideas thread)


Has anyone written a version for wind band?

Tenth post! Soon I will be a GOD!


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> Why doesn't Scriabin like CPE Bach?


Father issues?
.........


----------



## Dim7

WTF, I could swear my "whoops, a single post" wasn't double posted a while ago.  Honestly! Plus double posts almost never happen to me.

Spooky......


----------



## Albert7

Balthazar said:


> Why doesn't my brother-in-law like the maître d' at Morton's?


You mean Morton Feldman's Steakhouse?


----------



## Guest

Why all real men love football and cars.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Why did Beethoven like Cherubini but disliked Rossini, isn't all pasta essentially the same?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

AppleMachine said:


> The "quote posts that don't exist" thread.


. .


----------



## Dim7

Construct A New Discussion Using Already Existing Posts


----------



## Balthazar

MoonlightSonata said:


> . .


What he said.......


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Construct A New Discussion Using Already Existing Posts


Convert all of Dim7 posts here in STI into haiku or free verse or iambic pentameter or whatever.


----------



## Celloman

dogen said:


> Why all real men love football and cars.


I guess I'm not a real man then, since I'm not crazy about either.


----------



## Dim7

Why listening to classical music is incompatible with liking football or cars


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Why listening to classical music is incompatible with liking football or cars


Which classical pieces are usable in the NFL.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Why listening to *classical music is incompatible with liking football* [...]


I must refer you, Dim7, to post #67 on the thread "Musical Tastes and Social Class".


----------



## Dim7

TalkingHead said:


> Has anyone noticed the curious sociological phenomenon whereby the great unwashed blue-collar sports fan class seems to be very fond of Bruckner?
> Here is a common chant among this class:
> 
> 
> 
> Which should be compared with this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> What conclusions may we draw?


Those Bruckner fans are quite obviously just faking their love for football to seem a bit less obnoxiously highbrow/high-class.


----------



## Albert7

How many ideas from STI put you in a stupor?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Celloman said:


> I guess I'm not a real man then, since I'm not crazy about either.


You're not a real man! You're a Cello Man.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> You're not a real man! You're a Cello Man.


Cello man cello man
superhero who does all he can
Saving the world from a meteor
Like a Haydn symphony taking a detour.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Those Bruckner fans are quite obviously just faking their love for football to seem a bit less obnoxiously highbrow/high-class.


Good Ganesh, yes! This is exactly what _*I*_ do! I am so ashamed to be seen enjoying the poems of Mallarmé on the plane or train that I often paste a fake title page (usually hardcore pornography or some popular imprint) on the front to deflect any uncomfortable situations.


----------



## Dim7

TalkingHead said:


> Good Ganesh, yes! This is exactly what _*I*_ do! I am so ashamed to be seen enjoying the poems of Mallarmé on the plane or train that I often paste a fake title page (usually hardcore pornography or some popular imprint) on the front to deflect any uncomfortable situations.


When I saw you seemingly reading a hardcore pornography maganize I assumed that the title page was fake, that the content was just vanilla softcore stuff and that you were just sending false signals about how "open-minded" and "adventurous" you are.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

As long as you wear glasses while you do it.


----------



## Albert7

Richannes Wrahms said:


> As long as you wear glasses while you do it.


Nike-branded glasses. Or just do it without Nike glasses?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Apples and Classical Music: How do you pair an apple variety with a certain composer's works?


----------



## omega

MoonlightSonata said:


> Apples and Classical Music: How do you pair an apple variety with a certain composer's works?


The controversial answer: is the Schoenberg apple rotten? Please discuss fiercely.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

omega said:


> The controversial answer: is the Schoenberg apple rotten? Please discuss fiercely.


I suspect it is - it will be 150 years old fairly soon.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

you mean the Golden Apple of Discord?


----------



## Albert7

Richannes Wrahms said:


> you mean the Golden Apple of Discord?


What do you get when you crossbreed 4' 33" with a two by four Apple?


----------



## omega

Albert7 said:


> What do you get when you crossbreed 4' 33" with a two by four Apple?


A dumb apple, of course. Unless the crossbreeding process is operated listening to Prokofiev's _Love for Three Oranges_: in that case, you get a two-by-four bowl of dumb fruit salad.


----------



## Albert7

omega said:


> A dumb apple, of course. Unless the crossbreeding process is operated listening to Prokofiev's _Love for Three Oranges_: in that case, you get a two-by-four bowl of dumb fruit salad.


Hurrah finally an answer that's not involving of iSheep and the ilk who are Bruckner listeners.


----------



## omega

Albert7 said:


> Hurrah finally an answer that's not involving of iSheep and the ilk who are Bruckner listeners.


:lol: Depsite the help of a dictionary, I did not get everything in your answer... 

What do you mean exactly?


----------



## millionrainbows

Drugs for composers: match the drug that goes perfectly with the composer's music.

Bruckner: Thorazine
Wagner: Amphetamines, or Quaaludes
Schoenberg: mushrooms
Webern: LSD
Berg: mushrooms with marijuana, followed by some absinthe
Bach: Strong ale
Beethoven: Beer and amphetamines
Barraque: overdose of heroin
Boulez: pharmaceutical cocaine; must be absolutely pure
Rameau: Coca-cola and aspirin


----------



## millionrainbows

dogen said:


> Dada:
> 
> Is it a great art movement or is it a bicycle?


That's my daddy, for God's sake!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> Hurrah finally an answer that's not involving of iSheep and the ilk who are Bruckner listeners.


To be honest, I haven't a clue what you're trying to say here.


----------



## Albert7

The number of hours of your classical music listening has been determined to be inversely proportional to your number of hours listening to soda pop music.


----------



## Albert7

omega said:


> :lol: Depsite the help of a dictionary, I did not get everything in your answer...
> 
> What do you mean exactly?


I wrote that when I was in a half asleep mode so honestly I feel so dumb that I can't tell you what is meant.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> I wrote that when I was in a half asleep mode so honestly I feel so dumb that I can't tell you what is meant.


May I suggest that when you are half-asleep, you log off TC and go to bed? It's surely not good for your health if you're writing unintelligible posts on the internet rather than getting a good night's sleep.


----------



## Albert7

The Merry Widow in what did I hear... pajamas? (not the Pajama Game eh?)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> The Merry Widow in what did I hear... pajamas? (not the Pajama Game eh?)


What's the Pajama Game?


----------



## KenOC

And is it pajamas, pyjamas, PJs, or just jammies?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> What's the Pajama Game?


----------



## Dim7

Stag in a parking garage as an album cover for Brandenburg concertos


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Isolated dog singing Schubert with a lollipop


----------



## Albert7

I want to join the cult of Composer X. Who is he or she?


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Stag in a parking garage as an album cover for Brandenburg concertos


A stag movie inspired by Deep Throat used as the backing vocals for a Bach cantata.


----------



## Guest

KenOC said:


> And is it pajamas, pyjamas, PJs, or just jammies?


It's jim-jams.

Not sure about the hyphen.


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> It's jim-jams.
> 
> Not sure about the hyphen.


----------



## Guest

I bet they don't know...


----------



## Albert7

Hilfe! I've joined a composer cult and I can't get up!


----------



## Albert7

All STIs are created equivocal.


----------



## Guest

An inventory of expletives that don't get censored.

(perhaps a mod could make it a sticky for ease of reference)


----------



## Albert7

An expletive of inventories that do get censured.

(perhaps a modifier could stick it up for difficulty of reference)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> A stag movie inspired by Deep Throat used as the backing vocals for a Bach cantata.


Could somebody please explain this?


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Could somebody please explain this?


http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stag+movie

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_Throat_%28film%29

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backing_vocalist

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bach_cantata

Elucidating stupidity is pretty hard to do.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Albert7 said:


> http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stag+movie
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_Throat_%28film%29
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backing_vocalist
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bach_cantata
> 
> Elucidating stupidity is pretty hard to do.


But how would you use it as backing vocals for a Bach cantata? It doesn't seem to make any sense. It seems to me more like an absurd thought than a Stupid Thread idea.

Perhaps it's just because things are never as funny when they're explained to you. Sorry if I'm just being dense.


----------



## Albert7

MoonlightSonata said:


> But how would you use it as backing vocals for a Bach cantata? It doesn't seem to make any sense. It seems to me more like an absurd thought than a Stupid Thread idea.
> 
> Perhaps it's just because things are never as funny when they're explained to you. Sorry if I'm just being dense.


You hit the nail with the second comment. Stupidity is not always stupid. For me it's a state of Dada-inspired premonitions.

Either that or I'm drunk on too much Rimbaud poetry.


----------



## Balthazar

*Create a Non-Unambiguous Poll*

Example:

*What is your favorite Beethoven Sonata?*

A. No. 29 in B flat, Op. 106, "Hammerklavier"

B. Chopin's Polonaise in A, Op. 40/1, "Military"

C. Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe"

D. The Algonquin Hotel, located at 59 W. 44th St., NY, NY

E. Warm tuna fish milkshake

F. Two permutations are conjugate in Sn if and only if they have the same shape.

G. 子曰：「巧言令色，鮮矣仁！」

H. Who cares?

--------------------------------

My favorite is the "Hammerklavier." Please vote for your favorite. I'm curious to see the final results.


----------



## Lukecash12

So, do you believe in Santa? Rational arguments for or against, only.


----------



## Lukecash12

*A formal complaint to the govt of China*

Last month I payed for a mail order bride from your country, and she seemed fine when we opened the crate and fed her a can of cat nip. We were really enjoying ourselves together and she took to sleeping in the kennel just fine, like you promised, but not a week later we found one of her toes in my grandmother's birthday cake.

Dude... that wasn't part of the agreement at all. I thought we were on the same page when I said that cake was supposed to go to my office. You wouldn't believe how close grandma's wailing came to ruining the taste of that toe for me.

I was told you did this human trafficking discreet like, but what did I expect from a bunch of commies? Well, I'm sure you'll have fun opening this crate, she was initially pretty feral when we opened it on our end.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Balthazar said:


> Example:
> 
> *What is your favorite Beethoven Sonata?*
> 
> A. No. 29 in B flat, Op. 106, "Hammerklavier"
> 
> B. Chopin's Polonaise in A, Op. 40/1, "Military"
> 
> C. Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe"
> 
> D. The Algonquin Hotel, located at 59 W. 44th St., NY, NY
> 
> E. Warm tuna fish milkshake
> 
> F. Two permutations are conjugate in Sn if and only if they have the same shape.
> 
> G. 子曰：「巧言令色，鮮矣仁！」
> 
> H. Who cares?
> 
> --------------------------------
> 
> My favorite is the "Hammerklavier." Please vote for your favorite. I'm curious to see the final results.


You forgot "Ansure".


----------



## KenOC

Why is it that, whenever I hear the closing phrase of Schubert's Great C Major, I hear the words "My dog has fleas"?

But please, don't let this become a mindworm...


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> You forgot "Ansure".


That would have been my choice, but given the oversight I voted Almost definitely He is but not as much as an even Earlier Sonata but Has a Great Stirring Melody and yet it is Actually Contemporary as far as I define the Word, just Curious.


----------



## Guest

Albert7 said:


> You hit the nail with the second comment. Stupidity is not always stupid. For me it's a state of Dada-inspired premonitions.
> 
> Either that or I'm drunk on too much Rimbaud poetry.


This is the Stupid Thread Ideas thread, so rather than derail endlessly why don't you start a Dada Inspired Premonitions thread?


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> This is the Stupid Thread Ideas thread, so rather than derail endlessly why don't you start a Dada Inspired Premonitions thread?


Because Dada is intellectually my type of stupidity.


----------



## millionrainbows

Lukecash12 said:


> View attachment 71463
> 
> 
> So, do you believe in Santa? Rational arguments for or against, only.


I stopped believing in Santa in the first grade, when a kid said, "Hey, man, there ain't no Santa Claus! It's your parents, man! Here, take a hit off this joint!"


----------



## millionrainbows

*LUCIANO BERIO: THE MOVIE starring Peter Sellers as Luciano Berio. *


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> Could somebody please explain this?


Lady, if you don't know what "Diddy Wah Diddy" means by now, don't ask!


----------



## millionrainbows

Balthazar said:


> Example:
> 
> *What is your favorite Beethoven Sonata?*
> 
> A. No. 29 in B flat, Op. 106, "Hammerklavier"
> 
> B. Chopin's Polonaise in A, Op. 40/1, "Military"
> 
> C. Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe"
> 
> D. The Algonquin Hotel, located at 59 W. 44th St., NY, NY
> 
> E. Warm tuna fish milkshake
> 
> F. Two permutations are conjugate in Sn if and only if they have the same shape.
> 
> G. 子曰：「巧言令色，鮮矣仁！」
> 
> H. Who cares?
> 
> --------------------------------
> 
> My favorite is the "Hammerklavier." Please vote for your favorite. I'm curious to see the final results.


My favorite is *E. Warm tunafish milkshake,* because of its pungent odor. No other sonata pervades the atmosphere like this one. It is rivaled only by Shubert's "Trout" quartet.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Transparency and the Lack Thereof:*

I bought a pane of glass from TalkClassical Housing Supplies only to find that it was completely opaque! I sent a PM to one of the mods asking him to edit the glass to make it transparent, but he simply deleted the whole pane. So I sent an angry email to one of the administrators, who sent me another pane, but I found that this one was still mostly opaque! So I started a thread in the store, and several passersby commented that they too had bought opaque panes of glass. Then somebody banned me. At my funeral, a protest march was staged that turned into a massive riot, but the mods just closed the riot thread and banned the rioters. So they gave up and bought some oranges. The End.


----------



## Dim7

Answer A Question With A Conquest

Answer A Conquest With A Question

Answer A Quest With A Conquest

Answer A Conquest With A Conquest

Answer Anything With "It's just a social construct."


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Transparency and the Lack Thereof:*
> 
> I bought a pane of glass from TalkClassical Housing Supplies only to find that it was completely opaque! I sent a PM to one of the mods asking him to edit the glass to make it transparent, but he simply deleted the whole pane. So I sent an angry email to one of the administrators, who sent me another pane, but I found that this one was still mostly opaque! So I started a thread in the store, and several passersby commented that they too had bought opaque panes of glass. Then somebody banned me. At my funeral, a protest march was staged that turned into a massive riot, but the mods just closed the riot thread and banned the rioters. So they gave up and bought some oranges. The End.


Huh? *Oranges??!!??*


----------



## Albert7

We can play that Hammerklavier Sonata using a bunch of hammers smashing a piano, can we?

Or will we lose our Steinway sponsorship?


----------



## Dim7

Question Skepticism With Skepticism

Deconstruct Postmodernism with Postmodernism

Answer A Question With An Irrelevant Picture

Do Something to Something with Something

Contradict A Contradiction With A Contradiction

**** A ***** With A *****

Answer A Self-Referential AaQwaQ parody STI with "That joke is getting a bit old."


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Question Skepticism With Skepticism
> 
> Deconstruct Postmodernism with Postmodernism
> 
> Answer A Question With An Irrelevant Picture
> 
> Do Something to Something with Something
> 
> Contradict A Contradiction With A Contradiction
> 
> **** A ***** With A *****
> 
> Answer A Self-Referential AaQwaQ parody STI with "That joke is getting a bit old."


Can you out Foucault a Barthes by Lacan from Derrida?


----------



## Balthazar

*Discounted Persons*

*
Enjoy Great Savings! One Day Only! Everything Must Go!*

Dmitri Shostakovich - 50% off!
Antonio Vivaldi - 60% off!
Vladimir Horowitz - 75% off!
Leonard Bernstein - a whopping 90% off!

More Great Savings Inside!

The first customer to purchase three discounted persons will get Balthazar thrown in for free. That's right, we're discounting him completely!!!


Note to Mods: If this post violates the ToS regarding commercial solicitations, please feel free to move it to the Dada Inspired Premonitions thread.


----------



## DavidA

From some other of the threads on TC one of the stupidest things one could do these days is to pay a fortune to see the present production of the Ring at Bayreuth.


----------



## Radames

millionrainbows said:


> *LUCIANO BERIO: THE MOVIE starring Peter Sellers as Luciano Berio. *


Twins! How about find a famous composer twin. Howard Hanson and Colonel Sanders.


----------



## Albert7

Running... Out... Of... Stupid... Ideas... This... Hour...


----------



## Dim7

*Difference between 1 and 2*

Practically they're the same number, right? Can't we just assume that 1 = 2?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

there once was the most powerful computer in the universe
someone entered the statement 1 = 2
thus, humans


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Practically they're the same number, right? Can't we just assume that 1 = 2?


We don't have to assume anything. It has already been proven!


----------



## Dim7

I'm more worried baout thbt bssumption thbt a = b


----------



## millionrainbows

There was an equation which proved that nothing exists. However, it had a small mathematical error. After this was discovered, it was immediately corrected and


----------



## millionrainbows

From now on, the TalkClassical site will be closed on Fridays so that the owners can party. We hope this does not inconvenience you. Get a life.


----------



## millionrainbows

Radames said:


> Twins! How about find a famous composer twin. Howard Hanson and Colonel Sanders.
> View attachment 71589
> 
> 
> View attachment 71590


That's harrowing. Those new KFC ads are weird, too.


----------



## Balthazar

TresPicos said:


> We don't have to assume anything. It has already been proven!


If "zero" is just a social construct, shouldn't we be able to divide by it?


----------



## Balthazar

*
Answer an Answer with a Jeremiad*

(OK, I confess. I had some help coming up with this one.)


----------



## SimonNZ

Poll:

What do you think of the "New Complexity"?

A: Too complex
B: Not complex enough
C Too new
D: Not new enough
E: Too complex and not new enough
F: Too new and not complex enough
G: Juuust riiight.


----------



## TresPicos

SimonNZ said:


> Poll:
> 
> What do you think of the "New Complexity"?
> 
> A: Too complex
> B: Not complex enough
> C Too new
> D: Not new enough
> E: Too complex and not new enough
> F: Too new and not complex enough
> G: Juuust riiight.


* Sigh *

Another biased poll...

I'm pretty sure you would have found the majority of TC users voting for "Just right complexity-wise, but not new enough", had you only included it among the alternatives.

I don't know what your agenda is, mister, but it's fairly obvious that you have one.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TresPicos said:


> * Sigh *
> 
> Another biased poll...
> 
> I'm pretty sure you would have found the majority of TC users voting for "Just right complexity-wise, but not new enough", had you only included it among the alternatives.
> 
> I don't know what your agenda is, mister, but it's fairly obvious that you have one.


* Sigh *

You really do not have any evidence for this, Tres Picos, other than your hunch that he is 'biased' and has 'an agenda'.

SimonNZ is probably the most eminent Stupid Thread Pollster there is and 'bias' would be anathema to him. He would never have 'an agenda', by which you mean one he would feel the need to keep hidden. As a fellow libertine he would embrace the hierarchy of taste and opinion, and the open superiority - no, perfection - of his own over those base views of his inferiors. Who cares what they think?

Tee. Hee. Hee. Hee!


----------



## Albert7

The official 40 oz. Michael Finnissy in a Nas commercial...


----------



## TresPicos

TurnaboutVox said:


> * Sigh *
> 
> You really do not have any evidence for this, Tres Picos, other than your hunch that he is 'biased' and has 'an agenda'.
> 
> SimonNZ is probably the most eminent Stupid Thread Pollster there is and 'bias' would be anathema to him. He would never have 'an agenda', by which you mean one he would feel the need to keep hidden. As a fellow libertine he would embrace the hierarchy of taste and opinion, and the open superiority - no, perfection - of his own over those base views of his inferiors. Who cares what they think?
> 
> Tee. Hee. Hee. Hee!


* Sigh *

Another biased attempt to defend a pollster with an agenda - thereby serving some other agenda, obviously.

I actually do have evidence. I checked with the moderators and administrators, and they answered me in a PM with the following text (copy/pasted here):



> Dear TresPicos,
> Thank you for being so perceptive and great.
> Yes, the user SimonNZ clearly has an agenda. We will reprimand him for this. Oh, and his poll is very biased.
> Please let us know if you find other users with agendas, e g TurnaboutVox.
> /The TalkClassical Staff


So, it's more than just a hunch...


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TresPicos said:


> * Sigh *
> 
> Another biased attempt to defend a pollster with an agenda - thereby serving some other agenda, obviously.
> 
> I actually do have evidence. I checked with the moderators and administrators, and they answered me in a PM with the following text (copy/pasted here):
> 
> So, it's more than just a hunch...


* Sigh *

Well, honey, that's










Say 'Hello' to your 'friends' comrade Stalin and the moderation team for me, won't ya?


----------



## Albert7

Did anyone say Shostystalin up in here?

Wait a minute, Lance, where did you leave that Shostabear Shasta CD?


----------



## SimonNZ

Poll:

What is my best response to the arguments made against me?

A: latch on to some peripheral detail or aside in the argument and treat that as though it were the main issue under debate
B: report them to the mods for being mean, then criticise the mods for playing favorites
C: ignore argument, mock there speling and grammer
D: sit back and let my clique make my defense for me
E: play the "censorship" card
F: play the "Nazi-comparison" card
G: other (please specify)


----------



## ArtMusic

SimonNZ said:


> Poll:
> 
> What is my best response to the arguments made against me?
> 
> A: latch on to some peripheral detail or aside in the argument and treat that as though it were the main issue under debate
> B: repot them to the mods for being mean, then criticise the mods for playing favorites
> C: ignore argument, mock there speling and grammer
> D: sit back and let my clique make my defense for me
> E: play the "censorship" card
> F: play the "Nazi-comparison" card
> G: other (please specify)


That's quite funny and probably resembling to the real world actually.


----------



## Balthazar

SimonNZ said:


> Poll:
> 
> What is my best response to the arguments made against me?
> 
> A: latch on to some peripheral detail or aside in the argument and treat that as though it were the main issue under debate
> B: repot them to the mods for being mean, then criticise the mods for playing favorites
> C: ignore argument, mock there speling and grammer
> D: sit back and let my clique make my defense for me
> E: play the "censorship" card
> F: play the "Nazi-comparison" card
> G: other (please specify)


I vote:

G: Other (Gratuitous photos.)










I mean, what can they say to that!

BAM!


----------



## SimonNZ

_darn it, after deliberately misspelling in C I didn't notice "repot" in B_

_also mixed up "gentile" and "genteel" on another thread yesterday

real *sigh*_

edit: but to those who wish to mock my speling I say this:


----------



## Balthazar

I also vote G: (Communist comparison.)

Sometimes the Nazi comparison feels played out (usually Tuesdays and Thursdays). In such cases, the Communist comparison is a sure-fire winner. Even retro-chic, one might say.


----------



## Albert7

there is no voting for H:


----------



## Dim7

Balthazar said:


> I also vote G: (Communist comparison.)
> 
> Sometimes the Nazi comparison feels played out (usually Tuesdays and Thursdays). In such cases, the Communist comparison is a sure-fire winner. Even retro-chic, one might say.


There should also have been an option for comparison with political moderates. That, in my opinion, is the worst insult one can make.

Politically I'm an all-around extremist. I advocate radicalism in general, whatever the type. Nazism, totalitarian communism, islamist theocracy, anarchist socialism, anarcho-capitalism, primitivism (like Unabomber) - you name it! I'm a fierce enemy of any kind of compromise, common sense or moderation. Not talking about forum moderation here - when it comes to that, I think either mods should either have the absolute right to delete or edit anything or ban anyone for any reason OR there should be no moderation at all.


----------



## TresPicos

SimonNZ said:


> Poll:
> 
> What is my best response to the arguments made against me?
> 
> A: latch on to some peripheral detail or aside in the argument and treat that as though it were the main issue under debate
> B: report them to the mods for being mean, then criticise the mods for playing favorites
> C: ignore argument, mock there speling and grammer
> D: sit back and let my clique make my defense for me
> E: play the "censorship" card
> F: play the "Nazi-comparison" card
> G: other (please specify)


That post deserved a double like!









To double like a post, just press these two buttons while you click the Like link:


----------



## TresPicos

SimonNZ said:


> real *sigh*


Oh?

So the sighs from TurnaboutVox and me in our recent posts aren't "real" enough for you?

Gee, I'm terribly sorry for not living up to your high sigh standards.



TurnaboutVox said:


> * Sigh *


TurnaboutVox, you need to apologize for yours too!


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> I vote:
> 
> G: Other (Gratuitous photos.)


That footwear is offensive, so I've reported this post. Hope that's OK.


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> Poll:
> 
> What is my best response to the arguments made against me?
> 
> A: latch on to some peripheral detail or aside in the argument and treat that as though it were the main issue under debate
> B: report them to the mods for being mean, then criticise the mods for playing favorites
> C: ignore argument, mock there speling and grammer
> D: sit back and let my clique make my defense for me
> E: play the "censorship" card
> F: play the "Nazi-comparison" card
> G: other (please specify)


G: become a mod and delete the **** out of any contrary arguments.


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> There should also have been an option for comparison with political moderates. That, in my opinion, is the worst insult one can make.
> 
> Politically I'm an all-around extremist. I advocate radicalism in general, whatever the type. Nazism, totalitarian communism, islamist theocracy, anarchist socialism, anarcho-capitalism, primitivism (like Unabomber) - you name it! I'm a fierce enemy of any kind of compromise, common sense or moderation. Not talking about forum moderation here - when it comes to that, I think either mods should either have the absolute right to delete or edit anything or ban anyone for any reason OR there should be no moderation at all.


^^^^^ "Like" this post? I want to _marry_ it!

Dim7 is the most eminent extremist I know, and we should all get _on our knees_ and be thankful that he deigns to share with us his wisdom and knowledge of all things radical.

"Freedom _in_ moderation?" Never! I say, "Freedom _from_ moderation!" Anyone who thinks otherwise is an intellectual anorexic and beneath my contempt.

I intend to shadow Dim7 around the site appending similar comments to his every utterance.

And if that's cheerleading, then Derrida was French. . . 'squared.'


----------



## Dim7

Substance-free thread ideas:

Occurrences that happen in time and space

The content of being and its relevance to itself

Things as they are and their existence (or lack thereof) in the world


----------



## Albert7

Geez, your Schoenberg is larger than my Schoenberg. The Force be with you.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> The content of being and its relevance to itself


Worryingly, I think I've got a book on this.


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> Worryingly, I think I've got a book on this.


At least he Kant do that again with Mozart's ideas.


----------



## Balthazar

dogen said:


> That footwear is offensive, so I've reported this post. Hope that's OK.


Ha! With the new Transparency software that's been installed, I was notified in real-time when you reported my post, so I reported your ratting on me to the mods. See you in the Infraction Group, buddy!


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> Ha! With the new Transparency software that's been installed, I was notified in real-time when you reported my post, so I reported your ratting on me to the mods. See you in the Infraction Group, buddy!


I'd like your post, but that would be infractable too.


----------



## Guest

Cheerleading Outfits

Chafing: Prevention suggestions?


----------



## Dim7

This thread is a rabbit with a dragon head. It is not a place to laugh rainbows, but to boil the quantity of afternoons in a frog. 

Please stop spinning around and changing your physical form. Some shrooms have been consumed.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Substance-free thread ideas:
> 
> Occurrences that happen in time and space
> 
> The content of being and its relevance to itself
> 
> Things as they are and their existence (or lack thereof) in the world


Those taste great, and they're less filling!


----------



## millionrainbows

I think Schoenberg's Fourth String Quartet sounds tonal. Also, I think that Bob Dylan sounds an awful lot like Pavarotti.


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> Cheerleading Outfits
> 
> Chafing: Prevention suggestions?


Which Beethoven symphonies do cheerleaders favor prancing to?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Dim7 said:


> This thread is a rabbit with a dragon head. It is not a place to laugh rainbows, but to boil the quantity of afternoons in a frog.
> 
> Please stop spinning around and changing your physical form. Some shrooms have been consumed.


But do you know the seven words that will make a woman love you?


----------



## Morimur

Richannes Wrahms said:


> But do you know the seven words that will make a woman love you?


That depends on the kind of woman you're referring to. If you mean the model that is mass produced by our increasingly degenerate society, these are the words: MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY


----------



## Albert7

Morimur said:


> That depends on the kind of woman you're referring to. If you mean the model that is mass produced by our increasingly degenerate society, these are the words: MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY


I can promise that money can't buy you love. The Beatles claimed that awhile back.


----------



## KenOC

Richannes Wrahms said:


> But do you know the seven words that will make a woman love you?


I have thirty seven million dollars, Honeychile.


----------



## Albert7

KenOC said:


> I have thirty seven million dollars, Honeychile.


Now... I... Feel... Dumb...


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

You've got to have that money for those to work, you silly. The challenge stands. or whatever you make out of this, those words exist


----------



## Guest

I thought of a brilliant one....but now I've forgotten it.


----------



## Albert7

The famous Beethoven Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb ringtone.


----------



## elgar's ghost

Which baroque composer's wig do you think caused the most scalp itch?

Lully
Vivaldi
Telemann
etc. etc.


----------



## Albert7

elgars ghost said:


> Which baroque composer's wig do you think caused the most scalp itch?
> 
> Lully
> Vivaldi
> Telemann
> etc. etc.


Where is Mozart when his hair & shoulders stopped working?


----------



## Balthazar

Due to a spelling error, all members who violated the ToS after January 2015 were given _infarctions_ instead of infractions. A group memorial service will be held in the chat room a week from Tuesday.

We regret any inconvenience caused.


----------



## SimonNZ

Transparency In Concert Attire And The Lack Thereof


----------



## TurnaboutVox

> Originally Posted by dogen
> Your heart's just not in it, is it.





> Originally Posted by TalkingHead
> Hah! OK, I have no talent for this sort of thing. Could you help, *Doges*?


Ha! Your Holiness! (or is it 'Your Holinesses"?) Your secret is out, "Dogen" but it's safe with me! (for the usual small consideration)


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Ha! Your Holiness! (or is it 'Your Holinesses"?) Your secret is out, "Dogen" but it's safe with me! (for the usual small consideration)


My dear and esteemed Turns, you seem to be taking exception to my familiar abbreviations of Talk Classical posters. You have obviously never been to _Katers_ (Kathmandu) and _Pokers_ (Pokhara).


----------



## Guest

You have also obviously never attended a public school whose quality of pedagogy remains a beacon of incompetence and chicanery as what I learned in [_sic_]. I am, of course, referring to my _Alma mater_ St Cakes, in that vibrant city known as Melton Mowbray.


----------



## Albert7

I take exception to your accusation of my enjoyment of reading scores of classical music over listening to it. In fact, I hate listening to all classical music. I just want to read my Bach and Beethoven forever... forever!


----------



## Balthazar

dogen said:


> Cheerleading Outfits
> 
> Chafing: Prevention suggestions?


My go-to's:

















Who knew running marathons could seem so pervy?


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> My go-to's:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Who knew running marathons could seem so pervy?


Personally (but not TOO personally) I find prevention through good quality kit does the trick (although I don't do further than HM distance)


----------



## Albert7

As much as I love Satie's works, do you think that getting 6 more hours of that Vexations 10 hour remix was a not too smart idea?

Feldman's six hour piece was long but Vexations deserves a 10 hour techno remix LOL.


----------



## Albert7

How many Rockstars and Red Bulls does it take a pianist to perform that 10 hours of Vexations vexations.


----------



## Dim7

What the **** are you doing?! (Community forum)


----------



## SimonNZ

Was Claudio Abbado The Greatest Post-Karajan Conductor Of The Berlin Philharmonic Before Rattle?


----------



## Albert7

The Abbado game show is up and running now with the Glee cast.


----------



## Dim7

The Sleep Thread: Post here only when you're asleep


----------



## Guest

Chafing: name your symphonies that deliver without fail this physical effect on the eardrums.
May I start? Well, to begin with there's that symphony by


----------



## Albert7

TalkingHead said:


> Chafing: name your symphonies that deliver without fail this physical effect on the eardrums.
> May I start? Well, the begin with there's that symphony by


Klingmann's Symphony for Klangers in D Minor is premiering soon.


----------



## Guest

As this is the Stupid Ideas thread may I alert you all to the fact that SimonNZ and I are now official TC friends and will be cheer-leading each other remorselessly from here in. As responsible adults however (well, Simon is, not me), we shall be tempering our mutual admiration with bouts of waspishness, rancour, bad faith, resentment and, er, general boorish obstinacy until we finally agree that this town ain't big enough for the both of us. Or something like that.


----------



## Albert7

Sorry but my stupid idea was here first. You did not patent yours accordingly.


----------



## SimonNZ

TalkingHead said:


> As this is the Stupid Ideas thread may I alert you all to the fact that SimonNZ and I are now official TC friends and will be cheer-leading each other remorselessly from here in. As responsible adults however (well, Simon is, not me), we shall be tempering our mutual admiration with bouts of waspishness, rancour, bad faith, resentment and, er, general boorish obstinacy until we finally agree that this town ain't big enough for the both of us. Or something like that.


*sigh*

As I indicated in my PM accepting your friend request each gushing post praising myself must also contain specific reference to at least one of the list of enemies I provided, and applying a combination of phrases from the list of ad homs I provided. No exceptions.

But if you're incapable of following this simple instruction...

<unfriend>


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> *sigh*
> 
> As I indicated in my PM accepting your friend request each gushing post praising myself must also contain specific reference to at least one of the list of enemies I provided, and applying a combination of phrases from the list of ad homs I provided. No exceptions.
> 
> But if you're incapable of following this simple instruction...
> 
> <unfriend>


Can I be your friend now then? Nothing personal, it's just that I've got an odd number at the moment and I believe it's more auspicious to have an even number of friends. Thanks in advance.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> *sigh*
> 
> As I indicated in my PM accepting your friend request each gushing post praising myself must also contain specific reference to at least one of the list of enemies I provided, and applying a combination of phrases from the list of ad homs I provided. No exceptions.
> 
> But if you're incapable of following this simple instruction...
> 
> <unfriend>


*_real_ real sigh*

_*I*_ thought of being a gushing sycophant _*first!*_ Talking Head wasn't even _*close!*_


----------



## SimonNZ

dogen said:


> Can I be your friend now then? Nothing personal, it's just that I've got an odd number at the moment and I believe it's more auspicious to have an even number of friends. Thanks in advance.


Please submit multiple examples of worship, citing multiple examples from my posts that have particularly impress you, so I may assess your potential as a future cheerleader.


----------



## Albert7

SimonNZ said:


> Please submit multiple examples of worship, citing multiple examples from my posts that have particularly impress you, so I may assess your potential as a future cheerleader.


Instagram due to development of nepotism in this forum.


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> Please submit multiple examples of worship, citing multiple examples from my posts that have particularly impress you, so I may assess your potential as a future cheerleader.


To select some, and in so doing, not select others would be in effect gross disparagement of your luminous genius. All *your* posts are worthy; all *my* posts are, to a greater or lesser extent, explicit or implicit expressions of gratitude.

There, now I feel sick.


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> To select some, and in so doing, not select others would be in effect gross disparagement of your luminous genius. All *your* posts are worthy; all *my* posts are, to a greater or lesser extent, explicit or implicit expressions of gratitude.
> 
> There, now I feel sick.


Sycophant's hymn to the wordless and the brave.


----------



## manyene

A stupid limerick reflecting on this love fest. The absence of the last line is explained in the second line - maybe someone will supply it-

There once was a Kiwi called Simon
Whose name is so tricky to rhyme on
He gives us some pause
While he waits for applause...


----------



## elgar's ghost

^
^

...but his plinth is too lofty to climb on.

(Bad grammar but that's the best I can do)

Only joking. I like SimonNZ's style.


----------



## Albert7

manyene said:


> A stupid limerick reflecting on this love fest. The absence of the last line is explained in the second line - maybe someone will supply it-
> 
> There once was a Kiwi called Simon
> Whose name is so tricky to rhyme on
> He gives us some pause
> While he waits for applause...


Sorry to wince but I love the limerick form.


----------



## SimonNZ

(hmmm...I question the sincerity of some of my cheerleaders. Time for a test...)

My cheerleaders! Someone on the, um, "Do You Like Water?" thread has exposed my faulty logic!!

Fly my pretties! Flyyy my Prettieeeeees!!

...

...

...

...

well, _bugger_...


----------



## Albert7

Modification of the twelve tone approach to be ten tone now. One tone per finger now.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

manyene said:


> A stupid limerick reflecting on this love fest. The absence of the last line is explained in the second line - maybe someone will supply it-


There once was a Kiwi called Simon
Whose name is so tricky to rhyme on
He gives us some pause
While he waits for applause...



SimonNZ said:


> (hmmm...I question the sincerity of some of my cheerleaders. Time for a test...)
> 
> My cheerleaders! Someone on the, um, "Do You Like Water?" thread has exposed my faulty logic!!
> 
> Fly my pretties! Flyyy my Prettieeeeees!!
> 
> ...
> 
> well, _bugger_...


...for misanthropy worthy of Timon!

[NB for the avoidance of doubt, my tongue is very much in my cheek here]


----------



## Albert7

TurnaboutVox said:


> There once was a Kiwi called Simon
> Whose name is so tricky to rhyme on
> He gives us some pause
> While he waits for applause...
> 
> ...for misanthropy worthy of Timon!
> 
> [NB for the avoidance of doubt, my tongue is very much in my cheek here]


Timon of Athens okay.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Who'd you like to flocculate with?


----------



## Sloe

Did Philip Glass Get Bald at Some Point?


----------



## SimonNZ

Between the third and fourth movements of live symphonies should the conductor do a "band introduction" of each orcherstra member the way rock concerts do?

Should the next Woodstock Festival be all Second Viennese School?

Would Classical be more popular if it embraced "heroin chic"?

When following a Beethoven score which are the "phat beats"?


----------



## Albert7

SimonNZ said:


> Between the third and fourth movements of live symphonies should the conductor do a "band introduction" of each orcherstra member the way rock concerts do?
> 
> Should the next Woodstock Festival be all Second Viennese School?
> 
> Would Classical be more popular if it embraced "heroin chic"?
> 
> When following a Beethoven score which are the "phat beats"?


The Beethoven score with phat beats is the one album of his featuring this CD cover:


----------



## Dim7

Instructions for starting a flame war


----------



## Guest

If Boulez was not French, would he still have made the comb-over so chic?


----------



## Mahlerian

Complement A Fellow TC Member Thread

Are some members not yet whole in themselves? Join together to become complete members!


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> If Boulez was not French, would he still have made the comb-over so chic?


Boulez ain't real French. He got Satied by Erik Satire.


----------



## Guest

Gentle reminder to all members: please post all your stupidity in this thread only. Too many stupid posts are appearing on the main board. Thank you. No stupidity has been removed.


----------



## Dim7

Art is wrestling


----------



## Dim7

Don't nominate a work for my next poll!


----------



## Guest

Unlike your greatest composers.


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Art is wrestling


Wrestle with a composer and get your brains half noted.


----------



## Balthazar

*Do You Keep a Dairy?*

A. Yes. Cows. Old skool is still cool.

B. Yes. Goats only. Major _chèvre_ supplier here.

C. Yes. Buffalo. Next time you're enjoying _mozzarella di bufala_, give some thought to those of us who spend our days milking the beasts.

D. Yes. Yaks. Did you know yak milk is pink? [Too much Trivial Pursuit in my youth.]

E. Yes. Cats. You can milk a cat, you know. Anything, really...

F. No. I might be a member of the Animal Liberation Front, but we're not allowed to say.

G. Ansure.


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> Did you know that yak milk is pink?


Is that because of their diet: a preponderance of flamingo?


----------



## Albert7

Funky cow dance to Webern mashups to John Adams.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

*Do you like agonal music?*
What pieces cause you the most intensely pleasurable pain? Discuss them here!

*What is your favourite Operation?*
Let us know what surgical procedures have saved your life here on TC's own medical sub-forum. Don't hold back on the gory details!

*Turnabout Vox's Vicryl Adventure Journey*
...and what wounds have TC members needed to have sewn up? Not just for the oldies amongst us! That 200kmh motorcycle smash is just as relevant!

*Historical Wenger Recordings*
A thread for the European connoisseur, mainly. BBC and Euro-TV post-match interviews with the great man explaining why Arsenal didn't win because the other club had more money. Again. 19 years of archive material.

*Bacharine Music*
Post your favourite Burt Bacharach tracks here...and as the title suggests, music that vaguely reminds you of Bacharach. Mmmmmm - smooth!

*
The Top 100+ Most Recommended Opera Voting List Project threads*
Which ones are you going to participate in?!


----------



## Guest

Box Set.
Released in 1972.
So what, keep it coming.


----------



## Albert7

Box cutter set.
Walter White Symphony.
Who knew that?


----------



## Donata

Cats, the conductors of the future? 
http://www.blogcdn.com/slideshows/images/slides/355/112/6/S3551126/original.gif?v=1


----------



## Albert7

Cats in 2001 playing Richard Strauss eh?


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> *Historical Wenger Recordings*
> A thread for the European connoisseur, mainly. BBC and Euro-TV post-match interviews with the great man explaining why Arsenal didn't win because the other club had more money. Again. 19 years of archive material.


Isn't that name spelt "Whinger" ?


----------



## Albert7

The only dumb ideas are the ones not posted in STI.


----------



## Guest

Do you like New Complexity?

Do you like goregrind?

Do you like New Complexity AND goregrind?


----------



## Dim7

Do you like inclusive or or exclusive or?


----------



## Polyphemus

SimonNZ said:


> "Which album of Sousa marches sets the best mood for love-making?"


Depends entirely on the amount of time you have to spend.

:lol::lol:


----------



## PierreN

What are your 250 favorite Segerstam symphonies and why?


----------



## PierreN

Dim7 said:


> Do you like inclusive or or exclusive or?


I like either one but not both.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Do You Eat?


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Do You Eat?


Do you eat all about that bass?


----------



## Balthazar

Effective immediately, the ToS are amended to include the provision that all members must consume a minimum of 5 (five) stewed prunes prior to their first post of the day. 

As our membership ages along with the site, we have seen an unprecedented spike in irascibility and curmudgeonly posting.

We understand. Some days things aren't moving along as you would like, and it makes you testy. You need an outlet. Something's got to give.

We hope this new policy will help things progress smoothly, and result in fewer members seeking relief via lengthy screeds, full of sound and fury, signifying blockage.


----------



## Guest

My smartphone battery ia about to run down and turn off. I obviously need to recharge it but can't get to a power point. Any suggestions? I've overdone it on the prunes and so now I'm stuck on th


----------



## Mahlerian

dogen said:


> My smartphone battery ia about to run down and turn off. I obviously need to recharge it but can't get to a power point. Any suggestions? I've overdone it on the prunes and so now I'm stuck on th


Recharge? What's that?

You should do what I do and just buy a new phone when the batteries run out.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

> _Originally posted by_ *Dogen*
> My smartphone battery ia about to run down and turn off. I obviously need to recharge it but can't get to a power point. Any suggestions? I've overdone it on the prunes and so now I'm stuck on th


We're sorry to announce that former member *dogen* has expired, messily, in the smallest room of his house. It seems that an accident involving his smartphone battery, some prunes and a trip resulted in a catastrophic conjunction.

Let him be remembered as someone who would answer a question with a question (or anything else that came to hand) at any time of the day or night, and it seems that his haste to post yet another "Stupid Thread Idea" ultimately led to him being cut off in his prime.

Requiescat in pace, dogen.

There will be a rendition of the Ligeti Requiem at TalkClassical tonight in his memory.


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> Recharge? What's that?
> 
> You should do what I do and just buy a new phone when the batteries run out.


I just go chasing after the batteries when they run out.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, ahhahaah, ahha....haha.....


----------



## Grizzled Ghost

^^^ Or put up a barrier in the doorframe so they can't run too far!


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> I just go chasing after the batteries when they run out.
> 
> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, ahhahaah, ahha....haha.....


Unadvisable after the prunes. Bicycle clips recomended.


----------



## Albert7

TurnaboutVox said:


> We're sorry to announce that former member *dogen* has expired, messily, in the smallest room of his house. It seems that an accident involving his smartphone battery, some prunes and a trip resulted in a catastrophic conjunction.
> 
> Let him be remembered as someone who would answer a question with a question (or anything else that came to hand) at any time of the day or night, and it seems that his haste to post yet another "Stupid Thread Idea" ultimately led to him being cut off in his prime.
> 
> Requiescat in pace, dogen.
> 
> There will be a rendition of the Ligeti Requiem at TalkClassical tonight in his memory.


Due to this incident, a collective lawsuit has been filed against Samsung by the twelve-tone Society lovers, of which our beloved dogen is a part of. Our expected form of protest against faulty smartphone batteries will entail a repeated playlist using 10,000 boomboxes against the headquarters of Samsung with the following pieces:

1) Cage's 4' 33"
2) Bach's Goldberg Variations on both harpsichord and fortepiano
and
3) R. Strauss' Der Rosenkavalier.

After 10 days of protest, a feast will be held in honor of dogen that includes a sushi buffet because that would not cause an explosive combo with the battery acid.


----------



## Dr Johnson

The rest of us may wish to consider having a mains socket installed in the smallest room.


----------



## Guest

It's a miracle!!! 

Revived by the Ligeti!!!


----------



## Dim7

(Posted in Current Listening)

As a general rule of TC moderation policy, members are allowed to like or listen to more or less anything they want. That being said, obviously some minimum level of common sense in musical preferences is expected, or at least that everyone would have the decency to keep their most abhorrent vices to themselves and to not pollute the dignified atmosphere of this forum by promoting such trash. You know what kind of music we are talking about. Some posts have been deleted.


----------



## Dim7

*New member*

Yet another body member has spontaneously grown out of my body. Say hello to my new hand!


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Yet another body member has spontaneously grown out of my body. Say hello to my new hand!


Well, it certainly could have been worse!


----------



## Dr Johnson

millionrainbows said:


> Well, it certainly could have been worse!


Depends where it grew out of........


----------



## millionrainbows

Sloe said:


> Did Philip Glass Get Bald at Some Point?


Yes, and shortly after that his first child was born! Bad-aa-bing!

Did Philip Glass get grizzled at some point?


----------



## Dim7

Kulikovsky and the same Musical Hoax: What do you think about the Kulikovsky hoax and the Kulikovsky hoax?


----------



## millionrainbows

SimonNZ said:


> Between the third and fourth movements of live symphonies should the conductor do a "band introduction" of each orcherstra member the way rock concerts do?


Yes, and let each person do a solo...this is after the drum solo, of course.



SimonNZ said:


> Should the next Woodstock Festival be all Second Viennese School?


Yes, and they can have a tattoo booth, with images of Webern, Berg, and Schoenberg.



SimonNZ said:


> Would Classical be more popular if it embraced "heroin chic"?


Probably, since it already went through its opium phase of Romanticism.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dr Johnson said:


> The rest of us may wish to consider having a mains socket installed in the smallest room.


May each member's... _peccadilloes_ be their own affair, my dear Dr Johnson.



dogen said:


> It's a miracle!!! Revived by the Ligeti!!!


_Just_ as I had planned, dogen!


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> (Posted in Current Listening)
> 
> As a general rule of TC moderation policy, members are allowed to like or listen to more or less anything they want. That being said, obviously some minimum level of common sense in musical preferences is expected, or at least that everyone would have the decency to keep their most abhorrent vices to themselves and to not pollute the dignified atmosphere of this forum by promoting such trash. You know what kind of music we are talking about. Some posts have been deleted.


Halleluiah no more dumb posts about opera.


----------



## Albert7

millionrainbows said:


> Yes, and shortly after that his first child was born! Bad-aa-bing!
> 
> Did Philip Glass get grizzled at some point?


Did Glass get grizzled by glass or some well....


----------



## Dr Johnson

TurnaboutVox said:


> May each member's... _peccadilloes_ be their own affair, my dear Dr Johnson.


Sir, you are right. A man's excrudescences are his own affair.


----------



## KenOC

Dr Johnson said:


> Sir, you are right. A man's excrudescences are his own affair.


But his excretions are for all to judge.


----------



## Dim7

Image of smoking 9 minutes and 41 second ago?


----------



## Guest

Polyphemus said:


> Halleluiah no more dumb posts about opera.


I thought that at first but subsequently realised it was a personal attack directed solely at me. This from a fan of symphonic metal...


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> I thought that at first but subsequently realised it was a personal attack directed solely at me. This from a fan of symphonic metal...


The crucial difference here is that my attachment to symphonic metal is of nostalgic nature because it's music I grew up with. Your terrible tastes evolved in adulthood. I also mock mercilessly those fans of symphonic metal who began listening to it after their teens (they don't exist, but that doesn't prevent me). But it's TOTALLY different for _me_ to like it.


----------



## Guest

Thanks for clearing that up then. 

Of greater concern is that my tastes are deteriorating on an almost daily basis.


----------



## Balthazar

Should we start a separate Discussion Thread where members can discuss Stupid Thread Ideas in order to keep this thread free for actual Stupid Thread Ideas?


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> Should we start a separate Discussion Thread where members can discuss Stupid Thread Ideas in order to keep this thread free for actual Stupid Thread Ideas?


No, that's a stupid idea.


----------



## Guest

A Keeping In Touch Thread.

A place to, that's right, keep in touch - with banned members.


----------



## Dim7

The Most Moderately Mediocre Melodists, AFTER Some of the Most Moderately Mediocre


----------



## Guest

The same thread about baseball, but about Xenakis.


----------



## TresPicos

Balthazar said:


> Should we start a separate Discussion Thread where members can discuss Stupid Thread Ideas in order to keep this thread free for actual Stupid Thread Ideas?


I think we should start one new discussion thread for each STI post, where we discuss how stupid that particular post actually was. These discussion threads could have polls connected to them, so we can vote: the post in question was 10% stupid, 20%, 30% etc. Then, if a post is considered less than, say, 30% stupid, it will be removed from the STI thread, whose overall stupidity level will thereby be protected.

We could have a subforum for all these post discussion threads, with a dedicated Stupid Moderator managing the whole thing.

Should I perhaps start creating discussion threads immediately, starting with the posts at the beginning of the thread? Or could the administrators perhaps run some database script automatically creating one thread for each STI post? That would actually be better. I'll check with them.


----------



## Clayton

Have we had "what is your favourite string"?

I'll be bu££ered if I'm going to trawl through 392 pages of stupid thread ideas...


----------



## Dim7

Clayton said:


> Have we had "what is your favourite string"?
> 
> I'll be bu££ered if I'm going to trawl through 392 pages of stupid thread ideas...



Yes, we have.


----------



## Guest

A Stupid Moderator? There's only one person in the frame for that.


----------



## PierreN

Do you like 12-tone music?

What are your four favorite tones?


----------



## Dim7

*Ignore system for likes?*

There's a certain member of this forum who tends to get lots of likes from cool people. I have no problem with this poster and do not want to ignore him/her, but those likes make me feel really jealous. Could there be a ignore function for likes a specific member receives?


----------



## Guest

How baroque music saved me from the LGBT community.

Share your story.


----------



## Azol

PierreN said:


> Do you like 12-tone music?
> 
> What are your favorite four tones?


Playing 12-tone music on a 12-string guitar. Hints & tips for practicing musician.


----------



## elgar's ghost

Should opera/vocal recordings be played backwards so we can hear out for hidden messages?


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> I thought that at first but subsequently realised it was a personal attack directed solely at e. This from a fan of symphonic metal...


Symphonic metal !!! me.

:scold::scold:

Now that's a personal attack.


----------



## Polyphemus

TresPicos said:


> I think we should start one new discussion thread for each STI post, where we discuss how stupid that particular post actually was. These discussion threads could have polls connected to them, so we can vote: the post in question was 10% stupid, 20%, 30% etc. Then, if a post is considered less than, say, 30% stupid, it will be removed from the STI thread, whose overall stupidity level will thereby be protected.
> 
> We could have a subforum for all these post discussion threads, with a dedicated Stupid Moderator managing the whole thing.
> 
> Should I perhaps start creating discussion threads immediately, starting with the posts at the beginning of the thread? Or could the administrators perhaps run some database script automatically creating one thread for each STI post? That would actually be better. I'll check with them.


Extremely dangerous suggestion. This may actually lead someone to make an intelligent comment in STI.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Could we have a thread about the appropriate clothes to wear while listening to music?

I must admit that it is not a question that would have normally occurred to me but evidently it was an issue that exercised the mind of no less a personage than the great Artur Schnabel:

*"Schnabel...... was initially reluctant to enter the studio, lest it should be felt that the recorded performances presented his last word on the subject. He also doubted the sensitivity of his gramophone listeners; would they also be giving the music 100 per cent of their attention? Would they even be dressed correctly?"
*
_(from the notes to Beethoven Complete Piano Sonatas, Artur Schnabel. Musical Concepts MC181)_


----------



## TresPicos

Dr Johnson said:


> Could we have a thread about the appropriate clothes to wear while listening to music?
> 
> I must admit that it is not a question that would have normally occurred to me but evidently it was an issue that exercised the mind of no less a personage than the great Artur Schnabel:
> 
> *"Schnabel...... was initially reluctant to enter the studio, lest it should be felt that the recorded performances presented his last word on the subject. He also doubted the sensitivity of his gramophone listeners; would they also be giving the music 100 per cent of their attention? Would they even be dressed correctly?"
> *
> _(from the notes to Beethoven Complete Piano Sonatas, Artur Schnabel. Musical Concepts MC181)_


Sounds like a great thread!

I'm sure I'm not the only one who likes to put on a dinner jacket before listening to great works by Beethoven and other masters while I'm at home.

For 20th century music (except Schoenberg), I usually choose more casual attire.

For Schoenberg, I typically go with clogs, knee-long shorts on top of regular jeans, parka, a number of scarves in different colors, an umbrella hat, a chapel train and a Gandalf-style walking staff with helium balloons tied to both ends. I'm fairly sure this is how Schoenberg saw his audience while composing.


----------



## Dr Johnson

TresPicos said:


> Sounds like a great thread!
> 
> I'm sure I'm not the only one who likes to put on a dinner jacket before listening to great works by Beethoven and other masters while I'm at home.
> 
> For 20th century music (except Schoenberg), I usually choose more casual attire.
> 
> For Schoenberg, I typically go with clogs, knee-long shorts on top of regular jeans, parka, a number of scarves in different colors, an umbrella hat and a Gandalf-style walking staff* with helium balloons tied to both ends.*


I've heard of helium balloons at one end or the other. But_ both ends??_


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Sounds like a great thread!
> 
> I'm sure I'm not the only one who likes to put on a dinner jacket before listening to great works by Beethoven and other masters while I'm at home.
> 
> For 20th century music (except Schoenberg), I usually choose more casual attire.
> 
> For Schoenberg, I typically go with clogs, knee-long shorts on top of regular jeans, parka, a number of scarves in different colors, an umbrella hat and a Gandalf-style walking staff with helium balloons tied to both ends.


Polystylists are very difficult in this respect. You have to change your clothes (sometimes very quickly) during the same piece. If you are a serious classical music listener and not just some poser, that is.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> Polystylists are very difficult in this respect. You have to change your clothes (sometimes very quickly) during the same piece. If you are a serious classical music listener and not just some poser, that is.


There may be an opportunity for someone enterprising to market some quick change "listen-to-any-kind-of-music" costumes.


----------



## TresPicos

Dr Johnson said:


> I've heard of helium balloons at one end or the other. But_ both ends??_


Well, Schoenberg was a man before his time...


----------



## Dr Johnson

TresPicos said:


> Well, Schoenberg was a man before his time...


....and, evidently, you are well ahead of the curve in musico-sartorial matters. I take my hat off to you, Sir!

:tiphat:


----------



## Dim7

As for the correct attire for 4'33''....


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Polystylists are very difficult in this respect. You have to change your clothes (sometimes very quickly) during the same piece. If you are a serious classical music listener and not just some poser, that is.


Well, you typically employ a dresser to handle that.

Many model dressers from the fashion industry can be persuaded to do such work, if paid handsomely.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> As for the correct attire for 4'33''....


...it would have to be the emperor's new clothes.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> As for the correct attire for 4'33''....


"You guys just don't get it. I'm not naked, my clothing is the atmosphere that surrounds me."


----------



## TurnaboutVox

For contemporary string quartets I like to go with beard, glasses, thinning hair, North Face jacket, chinos and expensive American walking shoes, to fit in with the audience of 50 to 60-something vaguely university-lecturer looking types. Oh wait, isn't that what I usually...


----------



## Dim7

*"Deathdays" added to the calender*

TC adminstartion has bought a new and more precise fortune telling device. Thanks to it, we are now finally able to add the deathdays of forum members to the calendar. Along with Today's Birthdays, Today's Deathdays will be shown on the front page, including how many years the member in question has left. Today is the deathday of Dim7; he will die in 7 years. Feel free to congratulate him!


----------



## Guest

Which is your favourite yoctosecond?


----------



## elgar's ghost

Do Ten Stupid Thread Suggestions Have More Merit Than Another Hundred 4'33" Jokes?


----------



## Balthazar

^^^ Attention, Stupid Moderator, I believe the above post is less than 10% stupid and should be removed to preserve the overall stupidity of this thread.


----------



## elgar's ghost

Balthazar said:


> ^^^ Attention, Stupid Moderator, I believe the above post is less than 10% stupid and should be removed to preserve the overall stupidity of this thread.


You're even looking up at my post in disgust, unless you badly need that pint of beer...or both...


----------



## Albert7

Ten hours CPE Bach while eating up 10 years worth of dust bunnies. Time to stuff those into the MacBook.


----------



## Albert7

Moving to the oldies of Mozart with Richard Simmons.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Albert7 said:


> Ten hours CPE Bach while eating up 10 years worth of dust bunnies. Time to stuff those into the MacBook.


What are "dust bunnies"?


----------



## Mahlerian

What are your gaols?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Mahlerian said:


> What are your gaols?


The better known ones in the UK are Wormwood Scrubs, Parkhurst, Strangeways, Dartmoor, Brixton and Wandsworth.


----------



## TresPicos

I was once told by a drunk trumpet player that every 7th note played on a trumpet is always a false note. He also said that in symphony orchestras, the trumpet players cover for each other. Some of them skip the first one or two notes of their part, so their 7th notes will not coincide with the others. So, when one trumpet player reaches his 7th note, he plays it quite soft while the others play their 5th or 6th note loud. 

He said that one of the most tiresome aspects of being a trumpet player, apart from sitting next to trombone players, was the never-ending counting of notes while playing: one-two-three-four-five-six... soft... one-two-three... 

Are there any trumpet players here who can tell me more about this?


----------



## Balthazar

*12-Step Meeting for Serialism Survivors*

_
_Does serialism control your sexuality? Your relationships? Has it tried to kill you?

Do you have a sneaking suspicion that agents from Vienna are plotting a totalitarian takeover of your municipal government?

If you answered "yes" to any of the above, please join us next Tuesday in the chat room. The only requirement is that you come prepared to take the First Step:

_"We admit that we are powerless over the twelve-tone technique, and it has made our lives unmanageable."_

Soothing, non-stop musical entertainment will be provided by neighborhood children practicing their C major arpeggios.

Be there or be dodecaphonic!


----------



## Guest

Serialism? Sexuality?
Are you sure?


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> Serialism? Sexuality?
> Are you sure?


Is it possible to have 12-toned serial sex with a surrealist?


----------



## Balthazar

dogen said:


> Serialism? Sexuality?
> Are you sure?


I have it on good authority.

Apparently, if you remove a proper cadence from the operation, things can get quite confusing...

And not a little bit sticky.


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> I have it on good authority.
> 
> Apparently, if you remove a proper cadence from the operation, things can get quite confusing...
> 
> And not a little bit sticky.


New Complexity brings me out in a hot flush and then I want to vote conservative.


----------



## EDaddy

Is it true that atonal music is an effective way to remove unwanted ear hairs?


----------



## Albert7

dogen said:


> New Complexity brings me out in a hot flush and then I want to vote conservative.


We could do a royal flush on a hot flush in a hot flash using Berlioz?


----------



## Woodduck

Balthazar said:


> _
> _Does serialism control your sexuality? Your relationships? Has it tried to kill you?
> 
> Do you have a sneaking suspicion that agents from Vienna are plotting a totalitarian takeover of your municipal government?
> 
> If you answered "yes" to any of the above, please join us next Tuesday in the chat room. The only requirement is that you come prepared to take the First Step:
> 
> _"We admit that we are powerless over the twelve-tone technique, and it has made our lives unmanageable."_
> 
> Soothing, non-stop musical entertainment will be provided by neighborhood children practicing their C major arpeggios.
> 
> Be there or be dodecaphonic!


How about a thread where we can deviously sneak in sarcastic misrepresentations of ideas posted on other threads by members whose thinking we're incapable of understanding?


----------



## elgar's ghost

Woodduck said:


> How about a thread where we can deviously sneak in sarcastic misrepresentations of ideas posted on other threads by members whose thinking we're incapable of understanding?


I'm not convinced that we'd all have the time.


----------



## mmsbls

This thread is a place to joke and be silly. Making fun of other's posts can be fun under the right conditions, but generally is not appreciated. Please try to keep this thread an enjoyable place for all. Some posts were deleted.


----------



## Dim7

mmsbls is of course right.... but there's something amusing about a moderator telling us in a red text to be silly.


----------



## Oebis

A thread where we all have to post the reason why we are going to post our reason for abstaining from posting in the thread


----------



## Dim7

What are not the least intellectually weak non-fugues you don't know?


----------



## Albert7

Bike rides with Erik Satie imitators. Redacted story follows.


----------



## Dim7

*Read posts of your TC enemies with a goofy voice*

When you are quoting somebody in a conversation who you consider a total moron and you want to discredit what he's saying, you can alter the tone of your voice to sound silly, which is a nearly infallible tactc in convincing everyone that you are right and the moron in question is wrong. Now why not use that same tactic here at TC? If you feel you can't think of a counter-argument for a post that you disagree with, just record yourself reading the post in with a funny accent/lisp, comically high or comically low voice, or whatever, upload it to internet, post the link here. Guaranteed pwnage!


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> When you are quoting somebody in a conversation who you consider a total moron and you want to discredit what he's saying, you can alter the tone of your voice to sound silly, which is a nearly infallible tactc in convincing everyone that you are right and the moron in question is wrong. Now why not use that same tactic here at TC? If you feel you can't think of a counter-argument for a post that you disagree with, just record yourself reading the post in with a funny accent/lisp, comically high or comically low voice, or whatever, upload it to internet, post the link here. Guaranteed pwnage!


Hang on, I object to you calling my high lispy voice "goofy."


----------



## Dim7

Stupid vBulletin message:

The server is bored and has nothing to do. Please try refreshing or opening pages more often.


----------



## Albert7

Dim7 said:


> Stupid vBulletin message:
> 
> The server is bored and has nothing to do. Please try refreshing or opening pages more often.


I get ping pong of about 25 seconds. Cue the Wagner overture with Muzak now.


----------



## Balthazar

*Instructions for Making a Pole*

_
_What kind? Fishing, telephone, vaulting, Paderewski... anything, really.

I've got some time on my hands and would like to do something creative.

I just need some pointers on getting started.

Thanks in advance!


----------



## Mahlerian

Balthazar said:


> _
> _What kind? Fishing, telephone, vaulting, Paderewski... anything, really.
> 
> I've got some time on my hands and would like to do something creative.
> 
> I just need some pointers on getting started.
> 
> Thanks in advance!


Well, I think you've got the secret within you already. It's a magical thing called _equivocation_.

Using this simple tool, your brainstorming will turn an idea into reality with only a few simple steps!

You start with a beginning. All things start at the beginning.

Well, your newly begun piece of music already has notes, right? Of course it does, because all music has notes.

Take those notes, assemble them, and you have a draft.

Get rid of that draft by patching it up.

Your newly patched window is divided into panes.

Take your Pane out and read the pamphlet about common sense.

Turn over one of its leaves to discover the network of veins within.

Follow the network to find the telephone pole you're looking for!


----------



## Polyphemus

Mahlerian said:


> Well, I think you've got the secret within you already. It's a magical thing called _equivocation_.
> 
> Using this simple tool, your brainstorming will turn an idea into reality with only a few simple steps!
> 
> You start with a beginning. All things start at the beginning.
> 
> Well, your newly begun piece of music already has notes, right? Of course it does, because all music has notes.
> 
> Take those notes, assemble them, and you have a draft.
> 
> Get rid of that draft by patching it up.
> 
> Your newly patched window is divided into panes.
> 
> Take your Pane out and read the pamphlet about common sense.
> 
> Turn over one of its leaves to discover the network of veins within.
> 
> Follow the network to find the telephone pole you're looking for!


Or to paraphrase Tolkien 'This tale grew in the telling'


----------



## Yoshi

What is your bank card number and pin?


----------



## Dim7

Correct beliefs you have now


----------



## Celloman

Yoshi said:


> What is your bank card number and pin?


No problem, Yoshi.

My bank card number is: 7925 0581 3683 8352

My pin is: 3265

You want my social security number, while you're at it?


----------



## Yoshi

Celloman said:


> No problem, Yoshi.
> 
> My bank card number is: 7925 0581 3683 8352
> 
> My pin is: 3265
> 
> You want my social security number, while you're at it?


Yes and your adress with specific directions to your music collection please.


----------



## Albert7

Where is Beethoven's ATM card. He committed fraud playing my string quartet players!


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Do Dim7's Nasty Private Messages Intimidate You?


----------



## PierreN

What are your 250 favorite among J. J. Quantz 314 flute concertos?
How often do you listen to his 250 flute sonatas every week?


----------



## Dim7

Still an issue with You. Yes, you.


----------



## millionrainbows

EDaddy said:


> Is it true that atonal music is an effective way to remove unwanted ear hairs?


Try Iannis Xenakis' electronic music at your next outdoor cookout. It's great for killing mosquitoes.


----------



## Celloman

It has been proven that the popularity of a piece is equally proportionate to its actual quality.
Please discuss.

DISCLAIMER: Any similarity to actual threads, either living or dead, is entirely coincidental.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

If I make my chickens listen to classical music, will they lay more eggs?
If it's atonal, will the eggs go rotten more quickly?


----------



## Dim7

Just Answer, Do Not Question


----------



## Guest

Are you sure???????????


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Take a look out the window and tell us what shape the clouds resemble.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

No shapes, just 50 shades of grey. Hey...

Poll: What do TC members think would be the most appropriate music to accompany mildly sado-mas (that's enough - desist. *Mahlerian*)


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Are you sure???????????


Does it make any sense to attribute certainty or lack thereof to an imperative sentence?


----------



## Guest

Why have you used a question mark?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is that thing.... erm, you know... that?


----------



## Dim7

*Trying to obfuscate this piece*

Correct information about the composer and name of this piece (imaginary audiolink here) is spreading over the internet. Let's counter this by spreading misinformation about it! Post the piece all over the internet with an incorrect composer/title.


----------



## Mahlerian

Make Words Mean Whatever You Want: A Course in Argument for Web Forums


----------



## KenOC

Mahlerian said:


> Make Words Mean Whatever You Want: A Course in Argument for Web Forums


I took that course, from Coursera. Recommended!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Mahlerian said:


> Make Words Mean Whatever You Want: A Course in Argument for Web Forums


Optional module: Logic for Log-incians


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Poll*

If we could get the mods to enable swearing on a single section of the forum, which should we choose?

A. Audiophile Subforum
B. Community Forum
C. New Members - Introductions
D. Religious Music
E. Music Theory
F. Other


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> *A Poll*
> 
> If we could get the mods to enable swearing on a single section of the forum, which should we choose?
> 
> *A. Audiophile Subforum*
> B. Community Forum
> C. New Members - Introductions
> D. Religious Music
> E. Music Theory
> F. Other


What, you mean this isn't already full of swear words? Whole WARS have been fought there!


----------



## Blancrocher

TurnaboutVox said:


> What, you mean this isn't already full of swear words? Whole WARS have been fought there!


Yes and no--years ago participants in that area all agreed to use the word FLAC as a substitute for the f-word in order to fool the forum software.


----------



## Balthazar

*673rd Post Coming Up*

*
*Does anyone have suggestions for what to put in my 673rd post?

I like to make all my prime numbered posts significant - not just another blurb in Current Listening.

The next one doesn't come until 677...


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> *
> *Does anyone have suggestions for what to put in my 673rd post?
> 
> I like to make all my prime numbered posts significant - not just another blurb in Current Listening.
> 
> The next one doesn't come until 677...


I had similar concerns about my 1,943rd post, given my commitment to Masonic number sets, polynomial ring theory and cleromancy, but when it came to it, that post just seemed to write itself.


----------



## Dim7

TC members that have a satanic nature/glow


----------



## Dim7

Moderate familiarity makes you feel even more lukewarm about pieces you already felt lukewarm about? A Rant!


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Post a picture of yourself naked in the shower!


----------



## TresPicos

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Post a picture of yourself naked in the shower!


I don't see the point here. Why is it important where you are when you post your picture, or how you are dressed for that matter? The picture will look the same. Taking your computer or smartphone into the shower with you to post from there will just ruin it.

What a stupid idea! Why did you... Ah, okay... Carry on, then...


----------



## Balthazar

*Classical Money: Balthazar's Top Trades for the Week*

*
Best Long Idea:* You need to get in on this week's IPO of Humpty Dumpty, Inc., a spin-off from the Charles Dodgson Estate. Capitalizing on the ever-increasing trend of equivocation on internet fora and a resulting rise in the use of Humpty Dumpty's name and image, the company will receive a royalty fee for each such use going forward. This one is a guaranteed winner so get your orders in!

*Best Short Idea:* Plum Futures. I know, I know -- you're thinking, "_But Balthazar, you told us just two weeks ago to go LONG plum futures!_"

OK, I admit it. I got this one completely wrong. When internet forum guidelines were amended to require members to consume a daily prune quota, it seemed like a sure thing. But my men on the inside tell me there is incontrovertible and long-winded evidence that this policy is being honored more in the breach than in the observance.

Get out while you still can. I'm going to close my long position at the open and short these pigs all day.

_Disclaimer: This post is, um, obviously stupid and for entertainment purposes only. _


----------



## Dr Johnson

Bugger! I'm overweight plums.


----------



## Dim7

Was moonwalk a step backward or forward?


----------



## Dim7

High Intelligence, Low Wisdom Thread Ideas


----------



## Blancrocher

*Improper Emoticons Thread*

Hi Everybody!!  This is the Improper Emoticons Thread!!  This is where you use emoticons that somehow don't seem right to you after whatever you happen to be saying :tiphat: I'm really looking forward to hearing from you all


----------



## TresPicos

Blancrocher said:


> *Improper Emoticons Thread*
> 
> Hi Everybody!! This is the Improper Emoticons Thread!!  This is where you use emoticons that somehow don't seem right to you after whatever you happen to be saying :tiphat: I'm really looking forward to hearing from you all


What a great idea! Sign me up!

 :trp:


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> *Improper Emoticons Thread*
> 
> Hi Everybody!!  This is the Improper Emoticons Thread!!  This is where you use emoticons that somehow don't seem right to you after whatever you happen to be saying :tiphat: I'm really looking forward to hearing from you all


What's the point? :guitar::devil:


----------



## Dr Johnson

We need some really improper emoticons to play with...


----------



## millionrainbows

Charles Ives: The Movie, starring Gabby Hayes as Charles Ives


----------



## millionrainbows

Things I think of, but am afraid to say:

The only reason Van Cliburn won that Tchiakovsky competition was because the Russians knew he was gay, and wanted to emasculate the West and get a good laugh.

The only reason Van Cliburn got a ticker-tape parade when he returned was because our government 'went along' with the joke, so not to lose face.

All of which proves that the cold war was more important than any piano-playing sissy.


----------



## millionrainbows

Tribute to Dr. Johnson:

Blimey! I'm anorexic prunes!


----------



## Mahlerian

Wasn't Mozart really a murderer and sadistic torturer of children?

________

Ask meaningless hypothetical questions that cannot be answered because they are based on nothing and contain no substantive argument!

Best of all, if someone confronts you about your nonsense, you can simply respond "I wasn't saying _anything_."


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Mahlerian said:


> Wasn't Mozart really a murderer and sadistic torturer of children?
> 
> ________
> 
> Ask meaningless hypothetical questions that cannot be answered because they are based on nothing and contain no substantive argument!


You forgot that it needs a poll with defective opitons ... and that is answered for you by the OP before anyone can respond :devil:


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> *Improper Emoticons Thread*
> 
> Hi Everybody!!  This is the Improper Emoticons Thread!!  This is where you use emoticons that somehow don't seem right to you after whatever you happen to be saying :tiphat: I'm really looking forward to hearing from you all


Hi Blancrocher!






I think that's a very good idea.






Maybe we could use them for the 'Happy Birthday!' thread






and for 'leave of absence' too






. And of course for those timeless 'Don't you agree that Modernism Sucks?!' efforts


----------



## SimonNZ

Instead of censoring out naughty words with stars, could they instead be replaced with nice smiling emoticons depicting the personality type, intimate acts or bodily functions refered to?


----------



## Headphone Hermit

SimonNZ said:


> Instead of censoring out naughty words with stars, could they instead be replaced with nice smiling emoticons depicting the personality type, intimate acts or bodily functions refered to?


should be "sure and pimple" to do so :lol:


----------



## SimonNZ

Random Thoughts And Discoveries That Don't Deserve A Whole Post


----------



## Headphone Hermit

SimonNZ said:


> Random Thoughts And Discoveries That Don't Deserve A Whole Post


Genius! Best laugh I've had since a few minutes before lunch yesterday :tiphat:


----------



## elgar's ghost

SimonNZ said:


> Random Thoughts And Discoveries That Don't Deserve A Whole Post


You're picking your moments, NZ - as they say , "less is more"...


----------



## Becca

Are ideas on TC ...

[ ] pure and simple
[ ] pure and not simple
[ ] simple and not pure
[ ] not (pure and simple)
[ ] none of the above


----------



## Queen of the Nerds

SimonNZ said:


> The TC Youtube Playlist Where All TC Members Have A Public Attempt At The Queen Of The Night's Aria


Nonononononononono... I can't hit those high Fs... Only the high Ds, at most. If I tried to sing it and record it, I would be embarrassed for YEARS!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

*Austerity Measures - Special Notice*

Following extensive discussions with the European Union, the IMF and the Central European bank, TalkClassical are sorry to announce that due to the financial crisis a series of austerity measures will be imposed on posters from noon today (Central European time).

Many of the more popular threads will be sold to raise revenue for the site. There will be cuts to moderators' salaries and pensions. Current Listening Volume III will now operate under the jurisdiction of the Deutsche Bundesbank. *Please note that it will be impermissible to listen to Xenakis and other Greek composers until further reforms have been agreed.*

This thread and certain others will be closed.

You will have the opportunity to invest instead in the new combined "Answer a Stupid Question With a Lie" thread with smart payment meter. Posts will cost €1.50 each including VAT at 30%


----------



## Krummhorn

TurnaboutVox said:


> . . . There will be cuts to moderators' salaries and pensions.


Meh, no real loss there for the staff ... I'll miss the every five year barbeque at Frederik's place though.

:lol:


----------



## Dim7

TurnaboutVox said:


> You will have the opportunity to invest instead in the new combined "Answer a Stupid Question With a Lie" thread with smart payment meter. Posts will cost €1.50 each including VAT at 30%


Speaking of payment, I was the first (I think) to post "red font fake mod posts", and I have patented the idea....


----------



## TurnaboutVox

**NB, for the attention of Dim7:

Following spurious claims from third parties the above post's font colour has been changed to dark orange, just to be sure. Nothing will be allowed to hamper our achievement of total world financial domination.

DBB 
"Weder ein Kreditnehmer noch ein Kreditgeber"


----------



## Dim7

Pre-determined thoughts and discoveries that deserve a 21,298401128% of a thread to themselves


----------



## Dim7

Post A True Statement About The Next Poster


----------



## millionrainbows

ACTUAL stupid thread ideas. Of which I am guilty. But there is a reason for my stupidity, I rationalize. It just _appears_ to be stupidity.

"Was Gustav Mahler anti-Semitic?"

"Ahh, the Darkness!"

"The Problem with Mozart"


----------



## Donata

Would Rossini have watched the Lone Ranger?


----------



## KenOC

Would the Lone Ranger have watched Rossini? Or would he have been out chasing the Cavendish gang, like he's supposed to?


----------



## Guest

Why do people buy CDs?


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Why do people buy CDs?


That's not a stupid question at all...


----------



## Dim7

*Poll: Are The Horses Your Horses?*

So WTF are these horses doing in my yard? Are they yours perhaps?


----------



## Dr Johnson

*Poll: Yes, these are my horses. Why have you let them into your yard?*


----------



## Dim7

Tell a veeeeeery slightly distorted version of a true statement about the 7th poster after your post (for instance, say that he is 178 cm tall while he is actually 177 cm).


----------



## SimonNZ

This week's cd for group discussion:


----------



## Guest

Depressing videos to stave off the jollity.


----------



## Dim7

Can an adult learn a musical instrument and be evil?


----------



## Balthazar

*Genuinely Creepy Thread Ideas*

*
*What Are You Wearing?


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Can an adult learn a musical instrument and be evil?


Yes. Anton LaVey, author of The Satanic Bible and head of that church, was registered with the musician's union as a theremin player. I would say that he was evil.


----------



## Dim7

millionrainbows said:


> Yes. Anton LaVey, author of The Satanic Bible and head of that church, was registered with the musician's union as a theremin player. I would say that he was evil.


Okay, but how about chaotic good?


----------



## millionrainbows

At present, I am doing a careful comparison of these two apparently related works.












*Viva Turangalila*


----------



## Dr Johnson

Strumpets and trumpets: a cultural history of Scunthorpe in the early 17th century.


----------



## lovetheclassics

What is your favorite symphony by Rembrandt?


----------



## SimonNZ

The Atonal Thread Atonal Where Atonal Every Atonal Second Atonal Word Atonal Is Atonal Atonal Atonal


----------



## millionrainbows

Biber: Harmonia Artificiosa-Ariosa; Archiv 2-CD. Wow, I didn't know that Justin Biber wrote music for violins. I mean, I knew he was HIP, but not *this* hip.

~


----------



## Vaneyes

While listening to Classical Music, do you pick your nose and scratch your butt and display a nervous tic? If so, in what order are these actions performed?


----------



## Morimur

Vaneyes said:


> While listening to Classical Music, do you pick your nose and scratch your butt and display a nervous tic? If so, in what order are these actions performed?



Pick Your Nose
Scratch your Butt
Nervous Tic

CAUTION: Never scratch your butt before picking your nose-you risk injury.


----------



## millionrainbows

Do you like Robert Schumann's pre-suicide attempt music better, or his post-suicide attempt works? Personally, I like his folio called "Notes from an Asylum" the best. His song, "Oh my God I've been poisoned!" is very compelling. The "Attack with Metal Objects" Trio is nice.


----------



## Chipomarc

Morimur said:


> Pick Your Nose
> Scratch your Butt
> Nervous Tic
> 
> CAUTION: Never scratch your butt before picking your nose-you risk injury.


OK guys, time to put away your Mahler discs for a while and get back to listening to music again


----------



## Dim7

*Express Your Lack of Interest In Other Threads*

Every now and then you see somebody reply to a thread they don't care about just to express that they don't give a flying duck about the thread. Though considered rather obnoxious by those who are interested in the subject, the desire to express one's apathy, often in an aggressive an obnoxious manner, is understandable. The win-win solution is of course to concentrate all such posts here. Don't care about the latest "Top 10" -thread or "Is Composer X A Great Composer?" -poll? Tell us more about that! If you don't care about *this* thread though, please be considerate enough to not post about that in this thread, but in the Express Your Lack of Interest In the "Express Your Lack of Interest In Other Threads" -Thread -thread.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Apathy Thread*
Time to talk about things you really don't care about! Get into a heated debate about who is more apathetic towards Handel! Discuss your lack of interest in Xenakis! Announce your disinterest in modern minimalism!


----------



## Polyphemus

Where be the Master of Pithiness.


----------



## Dr Johnson

A TC Celebrity Deathmatch style animated arena where members who are unable to resolve their differences of opinion (or agree to differ) could slug it out in a violent digital duel.


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The Apathy Thread*
> Time to talk about things you really don't care about! Get into a heated debate about who is more apathetic towards Handel! Discuss your lack of interest in Xenakis! Announce your disinterest in modern minimalism!


I was going to contribute to this thread but I CBA.


----------



## Dim7

*Favorite likes*

Okay, we've had this thread already but it is old and buried so I thought why not start a new one. My favorite like has changed, now it's Balthazar's like for this post. What makes this like interesting that in the liked post Balthazar himself is criticized. Instead of replying to criticism with a post, he answers with this ambiguous like. Is it apologetic? Masochistic? Sarcastic? Oh the mystery!


----------



## Dim7

Looking for dark heavy intense bombastic depressing genuinely creepy TC friends


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> Looking for dark heavy intense bombastic depressing genuinely creepy TC friends


You have a wide selection to choose from.

:tiphat: :tiphat: :devil:


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The Apathy Thread*
> Time to talk about things you really don't care about! Get into a heated debate about who is more apathetic towards Handel! Discuss your lack of interest in Xenakis! Announce your disinterest in modern minimalism!


I must say that 'apathy' would be a definite step-up from outright hatred! Good idea!


----------



## millionrainbows

Do you value your 'virtual' friends here more highly than your real friends? Why is that?

Here's my answer:

1. You don't worry about or expect them to call or come over; they're always just there, kinda like people in a bar.

2. Your 'virtual' imagining of what they are really like probably exceeds what the reality is.

3. They become 'pure idea,' with no distracting and annoying human traits and idiosyncracies.


----------



## Chipomarc

Didn't want to add this to the HiFi thread so this seems to be the correct place.

For those of us that have a warehouse or two and need a new speaker for the barcode scanners, then you can't really go wrong with the Logitech Z200

Great review:


----------



## Guest

Who is Maria Callas and who told her she could sing?


----------



## Polyphemus

Kontrapunctus said:


> Who is Maria Callas and who told her she could sing?


The laws of libel and the ire of many of my T C fellow members prevent me from replying in the fashion I would like to.


----------



## Tsaraslondon

Kontrapunctus said:


> Who is Maria Callas and who told her she could sing?


Who is Kontrapunktus and who told him he knew anything about singing?


----------



## Vaneyes

Morimur said:


> Pick Your Nose
> Scratch your Butt
> Nervous Tic
> 
> CAUTION: Never scratch your butt before picking your nose-you risk injury.


Sensible advice, it seems. I'll wait for a tic to develop, try each combination, and report back.


----------



## millionrainbows

Kontrapunctus said:


> Who is Maria Callas and who told her she could sing?


And why does she smell like garlic?


----------



## millionrainbows

Polyphemus said:


> The laws of libel and the ire of many of my T C fellow members prevent me from replying in the fashion I would like to.


Yes, it was a stupid thread idea, wasn't it?


----------



## millionrainbows

Vaneyes said:


> Sensible advice, it seems. I'll wait for a tic to develop, try each combination, and report back.


Unfortunately, my nervous tic IS scratching my butt.


----------



## Polyphemus

GregMitchell said:


> Who is Kontrapunktus and who told him he knew anything about singing?


Obviously a member who questions the blind adherence to the cult of hero worship surrounding this singer.


----------



## Polyphemus

millionrainbows said:


> Unfortunately, my nervous tic IS scratching my butt.


Best pick your nose then and report to Vaneyes.


----------



## Polyphemus

millionrainbows said:


> Yes, it was a stupid thread idea, wasn't it?


But the fun of it is that it causes all hell to break out in the ranks of the worshippers.


----------



## millionrainbows

Polyphemus said:


> But the fun of it is that it causes all hell to break out in the ranks of the worshippers.


Speaking of "ranks" of worshippers, have you noticed that strong aroma of garlic?


----------



## Tsaraslondon

Polyphemus said:


> Obviously a member who questions the blind adherence to the cult of hero worship surrounding this singer.


And knows absolutely nothing about her.

I could question the blind adherence to the cult worship of figures like Pierre Boulez, John Cage and Stockhausen that surrounds them and is prevalent on this forum, but I prefer to ignore it. I'll let those people carry on walking in the valleys of the benighted, if that's what they want.


----------



## millionrainbows

GregMitchell said:


> I could question the blind adherence to the cult worship of figures like Pierre Boulez, John Cage and Stockhausen that surrounds them and is prevalent on this forum, but I prefer to ignore it. I'll let those people carry on walking in the valleys of the benighted, if that's what they want.


Who are Pierre Boulez, John Cage, and Stockhausen, and who told them that they could sing?


----------



## SimonNZ

GregMitchell said:


> And knows absolutely nothing about her.
> 
> I could question the blind adherence to the cult worship of figures like Pierre Boulez, John Cage and Stockhausen that surrounds them and is prevalent on this forum, but I prefer to ignore it. I'll let those people carry on walking in the valleys of the benighted, if that's what they want.


You must realise there have been jokes about all three of them all the way through this thread - from people who like them fine. So much for blind cult worship.

This "no jokes about Callas" thing is really a little odd.

If you want to make "stupid" jokes about the three above, that's fine and you'll only be judged by the level of wit.


----------



## Guest

GregMitchell said:


> And knows absolutely nothing about her.
> 
> I could question the blind adherence to the cult worship of figures like Pierre Boulez, John Cage and Stockhausen that surrounds them and is prevalent on this forum, but I prefer to ignore it. I'll let those people carry on walking in the valleys of the benighted, if that's what they want.


I think you are missing the spirit, if not the letter, of this thread!


----------



## SimonNZ

Poll: Who was the greatest singer ever with the initials M.C.?

a) Mariah Carey
b) Miley Cyrus
c) MC Hammer


----------



## Chipomarc

Kontrapunctus said:


> Who is Maria Callas and who told her she could sing?


Maria went out with a guy who said this:

I hate the opera. I think I must have a tin ear. No matter how hard I concentrate it still sounds like a bunch of Italian chefs screaming risotto recipes at each other.

---- Aristotle Onassis

Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/author/11107-Aristotle_Onassis


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> Poll: Who was the greatest singer ever with the initials M.C.?
> 
> a) Mariah Carey
> b) Miley Cyrus
> c) MC Hammer


That's an easy one - Can't touch this!!


----------



## SimonNZ

Ha! It was a trick question! The correct answer is of course Melanie Chisholm (Sporty Spice).


----------



## Chipomarc

SimonNZ said:


> Ha! It was a trick question! The correct answer is of course Melanie Chisholm (Sporty Spice).


She has been blighted by having a past that involved experimenting with tap dancing


----------



## Tsaraslondon

Stupid thread ideas? This thread for one.


----------



## SimonNZ

Callas Conspiracy Theories

Post one: Divina and Marc Bolan died on the same day. Coincidence? Isn't it more likely that she died in the crash with Bolan, with whom she was in a relationship (engaged? married? pregnant with Onasis child?), but that that fact has covered up by Jackie Kennedy who ordered the hit?


----------



## TresPicos

GregMitchell said:


> Stupid thread ideas? This thread for one.


Please... If someone posts "Who is Maria Callas and who told her she could sing?" in the Stupid Thread Ideas thread, then it's of course intended to be a stupid thread idea! And it wouldn't be a stupid thread idea unless it was obvious that MC is both wellknown and a great singer. So, why do you insist on misinterpreting this, and take that sentence at face value? Are the mere words constituting blasphemy or something?


----------



## SimonNZ

Did Jackie Kennedy Shoot JFK???!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

GregMitchell said:


> Stupid thread ideas? This thread for one.


How so?


----------



## Tedski

Beethoven would have written more beautiful music if he had been married.

(That's from an old Peanuts comic strip, where Lucy made that claim to Linus. :lol


----------



## ArtMusic

SimonNZ said:


> Poll: Who was the greatest singer ever with the initials M.C.?
> 
> a) Mariah Carey
> b) Miley Cyrus
> c) MC Hammer


None of the above, but the great *Madam Cuzzoni*.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francesca_Cuzzoni


----------



## Guest

ArtMusic said:


> None of the above, but the great *Madam Cuzzoni*.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francesca_Cuzzoni


Careful Art, apparently that may be construed as trolling or bullying.


----------



## Guest

GregMitchell said:


> I could question the blind adherence to the cult worship of figures like Pierre Boulez, John Cage and Stockhausen that surrounds them and is prevalent on this forum, but I prefer to ignore it. I'll let those people carry on walking in the valleys of the benighted, if that's what they want.


I think expressing an opinion (whether in seriousness or in jest), positive or negative, about any singer, composer or whoever is perfectly natural and legitimate. No one is out of bounds, or beyond criticism, or exempt from being a vehicle for humour (especially in such a thread as this). If any artist is presented as beyond criticism or humour, that is bound to attract comments in some form.


----------



## Tsaraslondon

dogen said:


> I think expressing an opinion (whether in seriousness or in jest), positive or negative, about any singer, composer or whoever is perfectly natural and legitimate. No one is out of bounds, or beyond criticism, or exempt from being a vehicle for humour (especially in such a thread as this). If any artist is presented as beyond criticism or humour, that is bound to attract comments in some form.


I have never suggested such a thing. Nor would I. As I explained earlier, the jokes aren't so much on Callas (her reputation is secure enough to withstand such childish humour) as at the expense of those who enjoy and appreciate her art. It's a kind of trolling which the mods seem to allow.

It makes no difference to me. This is just another one of those threads that I will steer clear of in future.


----------



## Guest

GregMitchell said:


> I have never suggested such a thing. Nor would I. As I explained earlier, the jokes aren't so much on Callas (her reputation is secure enough to withstand such childish humour) as at the expense of those who enjoy and appreciate her art. It's a kind of trolling which the mods seem to allow.
> 
> It makes no difference to me. This is just another one of those threads that I will steer clear of in future.


Now I'm being stupid. What I'm basically saying in this specific case is that I believe it is OK to make humurous posts about Callas (or anyone else) and you agree. But then you don't agree...you say it's trolling...


----------



## SimonNZ

Also there should be no jokes whatsoever about any foibles or excesses or soapboxing that someone vaguely resembling me might have.

The last thing I want is to see my self reflected in the mirror of a witticism, no matter how gentle it was or if it was made by a friend and without spite. Ye gods, I may be forced to say "touche" and laugh along with them...


----------



## Guest

Sockpuppetry.

What are your favourite usernames?


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> Sockpuppetry.
> 
> What are your favourite usernames?


"Sockpuppetry" is my favorite username.

However, the moderators denied my request for a username change, since that particular name contains the word "up", which is trademarked by Disney.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Don't you mean sockpuppetrB? I used to look forward to his trenchant opinions on music. *sigh* Those were the days...


----------



## SimonNZ

The On-Topic Challenge Game

Rules: The first poster expresses an opinion or question about something. The next poster must respond in their post in a manner that directly address the content of the previous post, either agreement or a contrasting view or offering pertinant information. Each following poster must do the same in a way that indicates they've read the previous posts and are somehow responding to them or at very least the previous post directly.


----------



## Guest

GregMitchell said:


> This is just another one of those threads that I will steer clear of in future.


Thank you. And go to the 99 Cent store and buy a sense of humor.


----------



## Dim7

contemporary "classical" while listening to music? what do you think of this?


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> The On-Topic Challenge Game
> 
> Rules: The first poster expresses an opinion or question about something. The next poster must respond in their post in a manner that directly address the content of the previous post, either agreement or a contrasting view or offering pertinant information. Each following poster must do the same in a way that indicates they've read the previous posts and are somehow responding to them or at very least the previous post directly.


Santiago is probably the nearest.


----------



## Polyphemus

millionrainbows said:


> Speaking of "ranks" of worshippers, have you noticed that strong aroma of garlic?


Was she afraid of vampires ?


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> contemporary "classical" while listening to music? what do you think of this?


Same as I think of antique minimalism.


----------



## Dr Johnson

SimonNZ said:


> The On-Topic Challenge Game
> 
> Rules: The first poster expresses an opinion or question about something. The next poster must respond in their post in a manner that directly address the content of the previous post, either agreement or a contrasting view or offering pertinant information. Each following poster must do the same in a way that indicates they've read the previous posts and are somehow responding to them or at very least the previous post directly.


This is a commendably silly idea.

Sir, I take my hat off to you!

:tiphat:


----------



## Dim7

*Post hypothetical "facts" about imaginary people: A Fun Game*

Nothing too outlandish or unlikely. Something that could be true for the average Joe. For example:

John plays baseball.
Michael's favorite color is blue.
Peter likes pizza.
Alice is the obligatory Smurfette principle affirmation action female example.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Match the Composer to the Yoghurt Flavour


----------



## millionrainbows

Kontrapunctus said:


> I think you are missing the spirit, if not the letter, of this thread!


Who are you to be the judge of that, Konrtra? I think that kind of stupid thread response is perfectly fitting.


----------



## millionrainbows

I'm listening to a new album: "Music to Listen to John Cage by."


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> Match the Composer to the Yoghurt Flavour


But aren't there more composers than yoghurt flavors?


----------



## millionrainbows

GregMitchell said:


> I have never suggested such a thing. Nor would I. As I explained earlier, the jokes aren't so much on Callas (her reputation is secure enough to withstand such childish humour) as at the expense of those who enjoy and appreciate her art. It's a kind of trolling which the mods seem to allow.
> 
> It makes no difference to me. This is just another one of those threads that I will steer clear of in future.


It's true, really; behind every joke is a serious idea, and I'm sure that Freud would agree that humor is just a sublimated form of human aggression.

That being said, I must say that I've never seen such displays of naked aggression (thanks George Bush Sr. for that catchphrase) as I've seen on this thread.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> *Post hypothetical "facts" about imaginary people: A Fun Game*
> 
> Nothing too outlandish or unlikely. Something that could be true for the average Joe. For example:
> 
> John plays baseball.
> Michael's favorite color is blue.
> Peter likes pizza.
> Alice is the obligatory Smurfette principle affirmation action female example.


Wow! :tiphat:

I would love to participate in something so dull and meaningless and almost zen-like...

Here goes: "John likes pizza".

Is that the same John who plays baseball, then? Or could I be referring to an existing person named John, by mistake? Please explain the rules here. I want to win this game!


----------



## TresPicos

*Regarding my upcoming 1000th post*

After six years here at TalkClassical, I'm getting close to my 1000th post. However, it makes me sad that once that post has been posted, the whole event is over.

In order to be able to enjoy my 1000th post for a longer period of time, I will include in it some insults, forcing the moderators to remove it and bring me back down to 999 posts, so that I can post my 1000th post again (and again and again).

So, if you suddenly find yourself fiercely attacked and insulted by me, please don't take it personal. I'm just trying to "freeze" my moment in time.


----------



## millionrainbows

TresPicos said:


> After six years here at TalkClassical, I'm getting close to my 1000th post. However, it makes me sad that once that post has been posted, the whole event is over.
> 
> In order to be able to enjoy my 1000th post for a longer period of time, I will include in it some insults, forcing the moderators to remove it and bring me back down to 999 posts, so that I can post my 1000th post again (and again and again).
> 
> So, if you suddenly find yourself fiercely attacked and insulted by me, please don't take it personal. I'm just trying to "freeze" my moment in time.


In order to destroy your moment of glory, if you insult me, I will not report it.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

millionrainbows said:


> It's true, really; behind every joke is a serious idea, and I'm sure that Freud would agree that *humor is just a sublimated form of human aggression.*
> 
> That being said, *I must say that I've never seen such displays of naked aggression* (thanks George Bush Sr. for that catchphrase)* as I've seen on this thread.*


On the whole, isn't the aggression seen here, as you've said above, disguised by humour and not actually naked? And - wasn't that the point of creating the thread, really? A kind of steam-vent?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TresPicos said:


> But aren't there more composers than yoghurt flavors?


Not if we allow composer-flavoured yoghurt :devil:


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

MoonlightSonata said:


> Not if we allow composer-flavoured yoghurt :devil:


What does the Elgar one taste like? English breakfast tea?


----------



## Steatopygous

SimonNZ said:


> Poll: Who was the greatest singer ever with the initials M.C.?
> 
> a) Mariah Carey
> b) Miley Cyrus
> c) MC Hammer


Finding it hard to choose between Montserrat Caballe and Michael Cuble (who changed his name to Buble in a futile attempt to rule himself out of this poll)


----------



## SimonNZ

The correct answer should really be Michael Caine who sang Tamino opposite Callas' Pamina, and by all accounts so thoroughly stole the limelight and was so widely praised as the greatest tenor ever that Divina had all tapes of their recordings destroyed, which is why there no longer exists a Callas Zauberflote.

Caine became so disenchanted with the opera world that he turned to film.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

What about MoonlightConata?


----------



## SimonNZ

Sneakily changing one initial of your name so you can become a great singer is considered an even worse crime than lip-syncing.


----------



## Dim7

millionrainbows said:


> It's true, really; behind every joke is a serious idea, and I'm sure that Freud would agree that humor is just a sublimated form of human aggression.


What's the "serious idea" and aggression behind this for instance:

"Match the Composer to the Yoghurt Flavour"

Maybe MoonlightSonata can illuminate....



TurnaboutVox said:


> On the whole, isn't the aggression seen here, as you've said above, disguised by humour and not actually naked? And - wasn't that the point of creating the thread, really? A kind of steam-vent?


I hardly see that as the main point of this thread. I don't deny that such element is also present, though.


----------



## SimonNZ

There's a joke to be made about "active Culture" wrt the composer/yogurt thing, but I can't quite reach it.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Wow! :tiphat:
> 
> I would love to participate in something so dull and meaningless and almost zen-like...
> 
> Here goes: "John likes pizza".
> 
> Is that the same John who plays baseball, then? Or could I be referring to an existing person named John, by mistake? Please explain the rules here. I want to win this game!


Why would I explain the rules (beyond the bare minimum that others can participate) and deliberately lose the advantage of knowing them better than other players? I want to win this game too.


----------



## Dim7

What happened to basic cultural degeneracy?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> What's the "serious idea" and aggression behind this for instance:
> 
> "Match the Composer to the Yoghurt Flavour"
> 
> Maybe MoonlightSonata can illuminate....


I was expressing my deep angst and venting my dissatisfaction with this world, with its meaningless consumer-driven society, and how, in this world we live in today, yoghurt is valued over the riches of the human soul.*

*I think, anyway. Either that, or it was just a bit of silliness.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> What's the "serious idea" and aggression behind this for instance:
> 
> "Match the Composer to the Yoghurt Flavour"


Schoenberg - started out as a rich, smooth Brahmble flavoured yoghurt, but the recipe changed to become increasingly expressionistic, including chopped nuts, lox and bagel dough. But then he changed his recipe again to include tuna roes, and using honey cake, chicken soup, prunes, chopped liver, poppy seeds, gefiltefish and other dissonant ingredients, scattered seemingly at random (though he insisted that he was working to a carefully prepared new method). At this point people could recognise the traditional food elements, but not the combinations in which he was using them. Soon, many could no longer stomach his increasingly bizarre culinary creations, feeling increasingly queasy. The angry suspicion began to grow that Schoenberg was deliberately trying to spoil the tradition of Western yoghurt making for ever.

Many turned their backs on him. They mostly settled down to a nice comforting Rachmaninov ripple instead.


----------



## SimonNZ

Alma Deutscher represents a return to the purity and simplicity of the_ vanilla._


----------



## Guest

Heston Blumenthal is a direct threat to the traditional composition of great melodies.

Discuss.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*Find a way to brake this forum.*



> Discuss.
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----------



## Celloman

Richannes Wrahms said:


> *Find a way to brake this forum.*





> How did you do that?
> 
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Click to expand...

...........................


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Just keep embeding


----------



## Dim7

Offical Announcement:

TC adminstration has finally come up with the solution to all problems of conflict and tension among the TC membership. From now on, rules of civility as defined by ToS will not apply when dealing with one of our members, namely Dim7. Everyone is not only allowed to, but encouraged to vent all their frustations and anger at him. False accusations and insults directed at him will not result in infractions. We hope that by focusing all the aggression on a single scapegoat everyone can interact with all the other members in a civil manner.


----------



## millionrainbows

TurnaboutVox said:


> On the whole, isn't the aggression seen here, as you've said above, disguised by humour and not actually naked? And - wasn't that the point of creating the thread, really? A kind of steam-vent?


I guess that's true, now that consider it.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: If/Whether Composers/Flamingos Could/Couldn't/Would/Should Write/Destroy Novels/Graffiti With/Without/Through Monkeys/Video-Game-Controllers, Will/Didn't They/You/We Eat/Vomit/Make Spaghetti/Salad Or/And Turtles/Horses Discuss/Read Voltaire/Comics?


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Poll: If/Whether Composers/Flamingos Could/Couldn't/Would/Should Write/Destroy Novels/Graffiti With/Without/Through Monkeys/Video-Game-Controllers, Will/Didn't They/You/We Eat/Vomit/Make Spaghetti/Salad Or/And Turtles/Horses Discuss/Read Voltaire/Comics?


Seems sensible enough.


----------



## Becca

Mahlerian said:


> Seems sensible enough.


Sensible posts will not be tolerated ... 5 infraction points have been credited to your account.


----------



## Dim7

Becca said:


> Sensible posts will not be tolerated ... 5 infraction points have been credited to your account.


When I write sensible posts, another poster (and on top of that a moderator) is given infraction points? Sounds sensible.


----------



## millionrainbows

Stupid Religious Forum

Ideas for Atheist Hymns:

What A Friend We Have In Nothing

Nobody Loves The Little Children

Nothing Has The Whole World In Its Non-Existent Hands

The Old Rugged Nothing

Nothing Lifted Me

Rock Of Nothing

Just As I Am: Nothing

The Man From Nowhere

The First Nothing

Nothing To The World, Nothing Has Come


----------



## Jorge Hereth

Some more stupid tread ideas:

- How to train a parrot as a soprano

- Symphony for Elephant and Orchestra

- Hannibal Lecter and the sound of an orchestra

- The hermeutics in the metaphysical meaning of the 2nd note in the 57 compass of Beethoven's 3rd Symphony

- Did dinosaurs sing?

- Should molto allegro and allegrissimo movements be allowable in a Requiem?

- Opera arias to be sung under the shower


----------



## Dim7

Jorge Hereth said:


> - Did dinosaurs sing?


Relevant post.


----------



## Dim7

Answer Enthusiasm With Cynicism


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Answer Enthusiasm With Cynicism


Yes, that would probably improve our lives a whole lot, and the atmosphere here at TC as well.

Good thing you posted that post in this thread...


----------



## SimonNZ

Dim7 said:


> Answer Enthusiasm With Cynicism


:clap: ..................


----------



## millionrainbows

Hey! Enthusiasm is my religion! I'm offended!


----------



## millionrainbows

Jorge Hereth said:


> Some more stupid tread ideas:
> 
> - How to train a parrot as a soprano
> 
> - Symphony for Elephant and Orchestra
> 
> - Hannibal Lecter and the sound of an orchestra
> 
> - The hermeutics in the metaphysical meaning of the 2nd note in the 57 compass of Beethoven's 3rd Symphony
> 
> - Did dinosaurs sing?
> 
> - Should molto allegro and allegrissimo movements be allowable in a Requiem?
> 
> - Opera arias to be sung under the shower


Actually, there is a piece called "Concerto for Orchestra, Chainsaw, & Cow" by Jeffrey Stolet.


----------



## Jorge Hereth

TresPicos said:


> While dinosaur music would undoubtedly have begun as some kind of plainchant, perhaps already in the Triassic period, it is difficult to say how it would have evolved from there. Would it have taken the same route as human music? Probably not. Whereas neither the step into polyphony nor the eventual experimentation with atonality seem far-fetched, it is difficult to see the development of dinosaur music passing through a Renaissance or a Baroque era. A Romantic era? Perhaps, provided that the dinosaurs also went through a paradigm shift from the rational to the emotional.


WOW! I'm just picturing how a passionately romantic tyrannosaurus rex would be...


----------



## Jorge Hereth

> Relevant post.


WOW! That one rocks! LOL


----------



## Jorge Hereth

millionrainbows said:


> Actually, there is a piece called "Concerto for Orchestra, Chainsaw, & Cow" by Jeffrey Stolet.


& Cow??? Just say WOW! 

Chainsaw? That's great! I'm a farm manager and I've never visualized the idea of using a chainsaw as an instrument for music...
But we never stop learning...


----------



## Dr Johnson

There seems to be no mention of this intriguing work in Stolet's bio puff on the University of Oregon's website. Obviously needs bringing up to date.

Here's a nice picture of him (perhaps the cow and chainsaw are just out of sight):


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Jorge Hereth said:


> - How to train a parrot as a soprano


Several other people seem to have come up with the same idea...


----------



## Polyphemus

Does the Cow play the chainsaw or is she conducting the orchestra ?.


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> Answer Enthusiasm With Cynicism


​


----------



## Guest

Answer honesty with a deletion.


----------



## Dustin

Does your dog enjoy Beethoven's 5th?

(I almost made an actual thread similar to this because I'm interested in animal's reactions to music)


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Answer honesty with a deletion.


Aaahhhh the Conservative Party.


----------



## Polyphemus

Dustin said:


> Does your dog enjoy Beethoven's 5th?
> 
> (I almost made an actual thread similar to this because I'm interested in animal's reactions to music)


No but he really gets turned on by 4' 33". Woof .Woof


----------



## SimonNZ

Answer honesty with a banning,


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Role Reversal Subforum*
This subforum is for discussion of anything that is the other way around from the usual. For example:

• Share your favourite CDs of of the London Philharmonic conducting Sir Thomas Beecham

• Ordinary users may ban moderators

• Why is Western sacred music disparaged, while 4'33'' gets huge amounts of threads to itself?

• Did the advent of atonality mark the beginning of a golden age in music?

• Differen's a la carte poll #264: Vote for all the pieces you dislike

• TC Top 500 Works Not To Listen To

• Poll: I Don't Care About Your Opinion On Gareth Farr

• Answer a Question with an Actual Useful Answer


----------



## Polyphemus

SimonNZ said:


> Answer honesty with a banning,


Incredibly honest of you, oops, how long does the ban last.

:tiphat: :tiphat:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dustin said:


> Does your dog enjoy Beethoven's 5th?


Yes, the disc makes a great Frisbee.

(Disclaimer: I _do not_ use CDs of Beethoven symphonies as Frisbees)


----------



## Dustin

Polyphemus said:


> No but he really gets turned on by 4' 33". Woof .Woof


I wish my _neighbor's_ dog was as much into 4' 33" as I am when I'm trying to sleep sometimes.


----------



## Dustin

MoonlightSonata said:


> Yes, the disc makes a great Frisbee.
> 
> (Disclaimer: I _do not_ use CDs of Beethoven symphonies as Frisbees)


:lol:asdlknasowivaxxvknsa


----------



## Polyphemus

Dustin said:


> I wish my _neighbor's_ dog was as much into 4' 33" as I am when I'm trying to sleep sometimes.


Try using your Beethoven 5th CD's as Frisbees and the dog may choke on them.

:devil: :devil:


----------



## Dim7

Answer Criticism With A Death Threat


----------



## Guest

Answer rationality with inanity


----------



## Dim7

Answer An Embarrassing Confession With An Awkward Silence


----------



## Guest

Answer a Deafening Silence with an Incredulous Rebuttal


----------



## Dim7

Answer an AaQwaQ Parody with an AaQwaQ Parody


----------



## Morimur

Dim7 said:


> Answer Criticism With A Death Threat


My preferred modus operandi.


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> Answer an AaQwaQ Parody with an AaQwaQ Parody


That's just stupid, congratulations for staying on thread.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Answer An Embarrassing Confession With An Awkward Silence


*AaQwaQd silence


----------



## millionrainbows

Polyphemus said:


> Does the Cow play the chainsaw or is she conducting the orchestra ?.


The cow is just there as the speaker. They got her from a Mahler symphony, where she was playing percussion.


----------



## millionrainbows

I need some suggestions. What would be some good music to listen to while I'm listening to 4'33"?


----------



## Dim7

Due to a forum error these "opposites" of forum members (and more) have appeared:

Aug2
specific girl
tonecluster
SunshineRondo (with a leg avatar)
paleogluer
FreezingApathy
Eastoff 
Emas
caten (with a dog avatar)
ScienceNoise


----------



## Dim7

Jorge Hereth said:


> WOW! I'm just picturing how a passionately romantic tyrannosaurus rex would be...


Change one letter in this sentence...


----------



## Dim7

Ironically Listening Vol XXXVIII


----------



## Jorge Hereth

And I was just joking... Never imagined maritacas (the green parrots in the videos) able to sing, specially not when they are seated on the electricity line in front of my office and communicating with each other... That sometimes is a mess of a noise...


----------



## Jorge Hereth

Dim7 said:


> Change one letter in this sentence...


:lol: :lol: got your precious point :lol: :lol:


----------



## omega

What is your favourite note division?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Due to a forum error these "opposites" of forum members (and more) have appeared:
> 
> Aug2
> specific girl
> tonecluster
> SunshineRondo (with a leg avatar)
> paleogluer
> FreezingApathy
> Eastoff
> Emas
> caten (with a dog avatar)
> ScienceNoise


My guesses:
Aug2 - Dim7
SunshineRondo - MoonlightSonata
Eastoff - Weston
Emas - Nereffid
Caten - Dogen

Who are the other ones?


----------



## scratchgolf

MoonlightSonata said:


> My guesses:
> Aug2 - Dim7
> SunshineRondo - MoonlightSonata
> Eastoff - Weston
> Emas - Nereffid
> Caten - Dogen
> 
> Who are the other ones?


I'm quite aware who "36 Handicap Golf" is. The rest are a mystery to me.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> My guesses:
> Aug2 - Dim7
> SunshineRondo - MoonlightSonata
> Eastoff - Weston
> Emas - Nereffid
> Caten - Dogen
> 
> Who are the other ones?


specific girl - some guy
tonecluster - arpeggio
paleogluer - neoshredder
FreezingApathy (I almost want to change my username to this one!) - BurningDesire 
ScienceNoise - ArtMusic


----------



## Guest

millionrainbows said:


> I need some suggestions. What would be some good music to listen to while I'm listening to 4'33"?


Isn't the universe enough?!


----------



## Dim7

TC Top 100 Most Manly Posters - Voting
Most manly and the most effeminate posters - Discussion


----------



## Guest

Biggest narcissist. The also-rans.

Pollsters. Why stupidity always wins.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Due to a forum error these "opposites" of forum members (and more) have appeared:
> 
> Aug2
> specific girl
> tonecluster
> SunshineRondo (with a leg avatar)
> paleogluer
> FreezingApathy
> Eastoff
> Emas
> caten (with a dog avatar)
> ScienceNoise


And then we have Listening.... what's the opposite body part for "head"... hmmm......


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> And then we have Listening.... what's the opposite body part for "head"... hmmm......


We also have:
Loaftrumpet
religion
SimonAU
DestroyerOfCommonPractiseMusic
SciencePoetry
joindown
Truckears
MrsTurtle
holsts zombie
ADigitalApple
HaydnDropsTheWatch
ModernBoy
King of the Geeks


----------



## Pugg

dogen said:


> Biggest narcissist. The also-rans.
> 
> Pollsters. Why stupidity always wins.


Now your one someone blacklist for sure


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> We also have:
> Loaftrumpet
> religion
> SimonAU
> DestroyerOfCommonPractiseMusic
> SciencePoetry
> joindown
> Truckears
> MrsTurtle
> holsts zombie
> ADigitalApple
> HaydnDropsTheWatch
> ModernBoy
> King of the Geeks


religion = science
SimonAu = SimonNZ
DestroyerOfCommonPractiseMusic = ComposerOfAvantGarde
SciencePoetry= ArtMusic
MrsTurtle = MrTortoise
holsts zombie = edgars ghost
HaydnDropsTheWatch = HaydnBearstheClock
ModernBoy = OldFashionedGirl
King of the Geeks = Queen of the Nerds

Can't figure out Loaftrumpet, joindown, Truckears and ADigitalApple.


----------



## Balthazar

joindown = breakup
ADigitalApple = AClockworkOrange

The other two have me stumped...


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> We also have:
> Loaftrumpet
> religion
> SimonAU
> DestroyerOfCommonPractiseMusic
> SciencePoetry
> joindown
> Truckears
> MrsTurtle
> holsts zombie
> ADigitalApple
> HaydnDropsTheWatch
> ModernBoy
> King of the Geeks


You left out:

Isolde
Noirpapier (ou Grisciseaux, peut-etre)
Antimahlerial
Commoner Corbyn
Morse
Sophistikate
Metalsparrow
SilentFoot
johannes b
Johanard Bragner
hattie jacques
sistantagonist
gpotions
blueboa


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Loaftrumpet = Krummhorn
Truckears = Vaneyes


----------



## Polyphemus

millionrainbows said:


> The cow is just there as the speaker. They got her from a Mahler symphony, where she was playing percussion.


Ah a cowbell virtuoso.


----------



## Dim7

Emotionally stable videos to stave off the bipolarity

Confusing videos to stave off the mental clarity

Emotionally neutral videos to leave your mental state unaffected


----------



## millionrainbows

Top Ten Posters Most Likely To Be Undiagnosed Bipolar

Top Ten Posters Most Likely To Be Misdiagnosed Bipolar, When They Actually Have Aspberger's Syndrome

Top Ten Posters Most Likely Misdiagnosed Bipolar, When They Are Out-And-Out Psychotic

Top Ten Posters Who Are Probably Just Narcissistic Sociopaths

Top Ten Posters Who Are Probably Mental Health Professionals Working In Collusion With Law Enforcement In Order To Prevent Mass Shootings

_And who said that the idea of a "Pre-crimes Unit" was just a fantasy from the movie *Minority Report?*_


----------



## millionrainbows

Music for Silencing the Voices in Your Head: 

Xenakis' Electronic Music

Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music

John Cage's Variations IV

(Thanks to Roky Erikson for his suggestions)


----------



## Dim7

millionrainbows said:


> Top Ten Posters Most Likely To Be Misdiagnosed Bipolar, When They Actually Have Aspberger's Syndrome
> 
> Top Ten Posters Most Likely Misdiagnosed Bipolar, When They Are Out-And-Out Psychotic
> 
> Top Ten Posters Who Are Probably Just Narcissistic Sociopaths


I'm the number one in all of these.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Due to a forum error these "opposites" of forum members (and more) have appeared:
> 
> Aug2
> specific girl
> tonecluster
> SunshineRondo (with a leg avatar)
> paleogluer
> FreezingApathy
> Eastoff
> Emas
> caten (with a dog avatar)
> ScienceNoise


That's a good idea! Here's some more members, with new "alternative" names:

Artmusic/Beercommercialmusic

Krummhorn/Spiffhorn

Vaneyes/Stationwagoneyes

StLukesGuild/NewHopeMission

AClockworkOrange/BarryLyndon

millionrainbows/thousandsofburnoutsatagratefuldeadconcert

bejart/ornottobejartt

brotagonist/Iain'tyourbrotagonist

Mandryka/Womandryka

KenOC/BarbieOC

someguy/veryspecificguy

Taggart/You'reItArt

Mahlerian/Pa-lehrian


----------



## Polyphemus

millionrainbows said:


> Top Ten Posters Most Likely To Be Undiagnosed Bipolar
> 
> Top Ten Posters Most Likely To Be Misdiagnosed Bipolar, When They Actually Have Aspberger's Syndrome
> 
> Top Ten Posters Most Likely Misdiagnosed Bipolar, When They Are Out-And-Out Psychotic
> 
> Top Ten Posters Who Are Probably Just Narcissistic Sociopaths
> 
> Top Ten Posters Who Are Probably Mental Health Professionals Working In Collusion With Law Enforcement In Order To Prevent Mass Shootings
> 
> _And who said that the idea of a "Pre-crimes Unit" was just a fantasy from the movie *Minority Report?*_


Love to fully answer these queries but a lengthy ban would undoubtedly ensue.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TurnaboutVox said:


> You left out:
> 
> Isolde
> Noirpapier (ou Grisciseaux, peut-etre)
> Antimahlerial
> Commoner Corbyn
> Morse
> Sophistikate
> Metalsparrow
> SilentFoot
> johannes b
> Johanard Bragner
> hattie jacques
> sistantagonist
> gpotions
> blueboa


Isolde = Tristan
Noirpapier = Blancrocher
Antimahlerial = Mahlerian
Johannes b = clara s
Johanard Bragner = Richannes Wrahms
sistantagonist = brotagonist
blueboa = GreenMamba
gpotions = hpowders
Metalsparrow = Woodduck
SilentFoot = TalkingHead
Commoner Corbyn = Marschallin Blair

I can't work out the others.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The Funniest Movies You've Never Seen


----------



## Dim7

I Think I Will Stop Using Words


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*Mediocre Great Artists you don't like* (MGA) also known as the name dropping game or 'I hate Picasso'.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Favourite pieces of Schumann?*
I quite like his liver.


----------



## Dim7

Dull videos to stave off the excitement


----------



## breakup

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Favourite pieces of Schumann?*
> I quite like his liver.


Fried or Broiled?


----------



## KenOC

Your favorite coprolites and the music they inspired.


----------



## Dim7

Answer Communism With Fascism


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Isolde = Tristan
> Noirpapier = Blancrocher
> Antimahlerial = Mahlerian
> Johannes b = clara s
> Johanard Bragner = Richannes Wrahms
> sistantagonist = brotagonist
> blueboa = GreenMamba
> gpotions = hpowders
> Metalsparrow = Woodduck
> SilentFoot = TalkingHead
> Commoner Corbyn = Marschallin Blair
> 
> I can't work out the others.


Good sleuthing. "Morse" and "hattie jaques" are older references, I'm afraid, MS. And "Sophistikate" - well, we can always see if the member concerned recognises themself or not!


----------



## Guest

Corbyn. Hehehe.


----------



## millionrainbows

Polyphemus said:


> Love to fully answer these queries but a lengthy ban would undoubtedly ensue.


Yes, unfortunately, that's true; I'd have to report such personal insults.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> Corbyn. Hehehe.


I was looking for polar opposites!


----------



## millionrainbows

More "Fun with Members' Monikers:"

dogen/enlightened dog

pugg/smashfacedog

ProudSquire/HumiliatedPeon

TurnaboutVox/EverestVanguard

Shepard Fairey/Flamboyant Sheepherder

TresPicos/Would you like hot sauce with that?

Woodduck/FiberglassDecoy

GreenMamba/AuntieVenom

MrTortoise/Mr18Wheeler(crunch!)


----------



## millionrainbows

TurnaboutVox said:


> I was looking for polar opposites!


How about "bipolar opposites?"


----------



## Balthazar

*Announcement*

*
*An extraordinary meeting of the STI Board of Directors will be held next Tuesday to discuss progress on Dim7's hostile takeover of the main boards of TC.

Refreshments will be served.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Balthazar said:


> *
> *An extraordinary meeting of the STI Board of Directors will be held next Tuesday to discuss progress on Dim7's hostile takeover of the main boards of TC.
> 
> Refreshments will be served.


For those of us who are orally challenged (i.e. severed hands) will hand cream also be provided?


----------



## MrTortoise

millionrainbows said:


> More "Fun with Members' Monikers:"
> 
> dogen/enlightened dog
> 
> pugg/smashfacedog
> 
> ProudSquire/HumiliatedPeon
> 
> TurnaboutVox/EverestVanguard
> 
> Shepard Fairey/Flamboyant Sheepherder
> 
> TresPicos/Would you like hot sauce with that?
> 
> Woodduck/FiberglassDecoy
> 
> GreenMamba/AuntieVenom
> 
> MrTortoise/Mr18Wheeler(crunch!)


That's a 10-4 good buddy!

and I know your agenda:

millionrainbows/RunsWithUnicorns


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Let's see how many more names I can mangle:

GoliathB

BrightDemon

abaconnel

Poetry Pebble

Courante

Re

Datestem


----------



## Balthazar

MoonlightSonata said:


> For those of us who are orally challenged (i.e. severed hands) will hand cream also be provided?


But of course!

And I forgot to mention that MS has graciously offered to provide post-meeting entertainment in the form of a hand shadow rendition of Wagner's Ring cycle.


----------



## Dim7

Balthazar said:


> *
> *An extraordinary meeting of the STI Board of Directors will be held next Tuesday to discuss progress on Dim7's hostile takeover of the main boards of TC.
> 
> Refreshments will be served.


Will I actually be invited to this meeting, or will you keep it a secret from me?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Will I actually be invited to this meeting, or will you keep it a secret from me?


It's a secret. Whatever you do, don't tell yourself that it's happening.


----------



## DeutscherFan

Why Is Tchaikovsky's Recording Of Karajan's Fifth Symphony So Completely Different To Beethoven's?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

DeutscherFan said:


> Why Is Tchaikovsky's Recording Of Karajan's Fifth Symphony So Completely Different To Beethoven's?


No, no! You've got it all confused - Karajan isn't the composer!

It's the orchestra!


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> Will I actually be invited to this meeting, or will you keep it a secret from me?





MoonlightSonata said:


> It's a secret. Whatever you do, don't tell yourself that it's happening.


Our young hand shadower is correct - it's a secret, but your attendance is mandatory. It's your turn to emcee the customary 4.5 rounds of naked cribbage to close the meeting. And you won't want to miss it -- I hear a certain someone has a new piercing...


----------



## Dim7

Balthazar said:


> Our young hand shadower is correct - it's a secret, but your attendance is mandatory. It's your turn to emcee the customary 4.5 rounds of naked cribbage to close the meeting. And you won't want to miss it -- I hear a certain someone has a new piercing...


So my attendance is mandatory, but if it's a secret, how I'm supposed to find out that it will take place? Any advice?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> So my attendance is mandatory, but if it's a secret, how I'm supposed to find out that it will take place? Any advice?


I suggest that next time you visit the STI Board Of Editors meeting-place, you accidentally forget your hat, so then you can suddenly remember and just happen to be popping in to collect it when the meeting begins.
Of course, that does raise the question - do chords wear hats?


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> I was looking for polar opposites!


I think you achieved mirror universes!


----------



## Dim7

Members and their opposites have merged and formed these in-between versions:

some guy + specific girl = one of those hermaphrodites 
brotagonist + sisantagonist = siblingsidekick
ArtMusic + ScienceNoise = LiteraryanalysisBirdsong
BurningDesire + FreezingApathy = LukewarmTolerance / SlightPreference
haydnfan + haydnhater = haydntolerator
Nereffid + Emas = Ralimis

ComposerOfAvantGarde + DestroyerOfCommonPracticeMusic = DudeWhoAltersCompositionsOf20thCentury RomanticComposersWithSlightModernistInfluences


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Members and their opposites have merged and formed these in-between versions:
> 
> some guy + specific girl = one of those hermaphrodites
> brotagonist + sisantagonist = siblingsidekick
> ArtMusic + ScienceNoise = LiteraryanalysisBirdsong
> BurningDesire + FreezingApathy = LukewarmTolerance / SlightPreference
> haydnfan + haydnhater = haydntolerator
> Nereffid + Emas = Ralimis
> 
> ComposerOfAvantGarde + DestroyerOfCommonPracticeMusic = DudeWhoAltersCompositionsOf20thCentury RomanticComposersWithSlightModernistInfluences


Since an andante or adagio usually comes between a sonata-form movement and a rondo, would I be TwilightAdagio?


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> So my attendance is mandatory, but if it's a secret, how I'm supposed to find out that it will take place? Any advice?


See Post #6168 above. Then burn this.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Members and their opposites have merged and formed these in-between versions:
> 
> some guy + specific girl = one of those hermaphrodites
> brotagonist + sisantagonist = siblingsidekick
> ArtMusic + ScienceNoise = LiteraryanalysisBirdsong
> BurningDesire + FreezingApathy = LukewarmTolerance / SlightPreference
> haydnfan + haydnhater = haydntolerator
> Nereffid + Emas = Ralimis
> 
> ComposerOfAvantGarde + DestroyerOfCommonPracticeMusic = DudeWhoAltersCompositionsOf20thCentury RomanticComposersWithSlightModernistInfluences


This sounds like that transporter malfunction in the Star Trek movie! Arrghh!


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Since an andante or adagio usually comes between a sonata-form movement and a rondo, would I be TwilightAdagio?


Adagio isn't really a form though. Since slow movements are often in the variations form, I guess you would be TwilightVariations.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Adagio isn't really a form though. Since slow movements are often in the variations form, I guess you would be TwilightVariations.


Hmm... I quite like that, actually. Sounds less like an excerpt from a vampire romance film score than TwilightAdagio.


----------



## Guest

Never do Dandelion & Burdock when listening to Short Ride in a Fast Machine.


----------



## Dim7

Disgusting videos to stave off the appetite

Poll: Favorite Inedible

Music for the middle period of the world's lifespan


----------



## Dr Johnson

Music to wrangle about music by.


----------



## Dim7

Music to listen to while listening to music


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Never listen to Olivier Messaien's Turangalîla without taking LSD first

TC Most Recommended Operas - The List of Operas That Were Average

Tonality In Popsicle Music


----------



## millionrainbows

Popsicle truck music in the post-modern era, the Doppler Effect, and tonality: the Early Years

How the Eskimo Pie and Drumsticks' higher prices affected street music in America in the late 1950s

Fudgesicles, and regular flavored Popsicles, and their effect of perceived harmonic density of Popsicle truck music on suburban children


----------



## Guest

What does everyone think of Prof C. Hobbes' The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender Modes?


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Disgusting videos to stave off the appetite


In retrospect this sounds like a good way to lose weight. Not a stupid idea at all. I will have to become a moderator so that I can give infraction points for myself for being off-topic.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

*Health and Safety Announcement*

*Please note*

Due to certain unfortunate past incidents, the TC administrators have decided that you should never post on TalkClassical when:

*You are simultaneously drinking alcohol
*You are already intoxicated with alcohol 
*You are under the influence of prescription medication
*You are under the influence of illegal mind-altering drugs**
*You are simultaneously listening to music which may have an excitatory effect on you
*You are simultaneously driving a vehicle or operating heavy machinery
*You are in charge of children or animals
*You are running your country, state or city administration***
*You are conducting a major war or military exercise***
*You are engaged in other activity likely to distract you from proper control of your posting

*TC in house penalties may include a stern moderator's warning, infraction points, a temporary ban or temporary restriction to the 'stupid' threads only*

**Other legal penalties may also apply, depending on your country of residence - ***for example, Court-Martial; summary imprisonment and execution


----------



## Dim7

Opened for destruction.


----------



## Dim7

Never read Albert7's STIs while wearing women's lingerie and providing vocational advice for Brahms-obsessed squids with 23 Angry Birds -themed violatrumpets

Music has nothing to do with sound


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Why such friendly avatars?*
Some people, I am saddened to notice, have adopted very friendly, welcoming avatars - a very unwelcome development. Can we not go back to the days of the obnoxious avatar?


----------



## Guest

Blowback Thread.

After you've blown a gasket in another thread come to this thread and vent like a righteous maniac.

(Terms and conditions apply, but you will never be sure what they are)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Disgusting LPs


----------



## Balthazar

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Why such friendly avatars?*
> Some people, I am saddened to notice, have adopted very friendly, welcoming avatars - a very unwelcome development. Can we not go back to the days of the obnoxious avatar?


I'm glad to see you're leading the charge with your "Talk to the Hand" avatar. Obnoxious _and_ sassy!


----------



## Balthazar

*Why do people post obnoxious music in Current Listening?*

I don't get it


----------



## Dim7

Balthazar said:


> I don't get it


Reminds me of my "What's the point of bad music?" -STI.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Balthazar said:


> I'm glad to see you're leading the charge with your "Talk to the Hand" avatar. Obnoxious _and_ sassy!


And your "Your stupidity is so frustrating that it causes me to adopt this expression" avatar, too!


----------



## Balthazar

*If Avatars Could Talk*










"I can't with this..."










"Talk to the hand cuz the face ain't listening..."










"Really, MS?"










"Talk to the hand..."










* Sigh *


----------



## millionrainbows

More "Fun With 4'33"

What is the definitive version of 4'33"?

Is 4'33" better in hi-rez 96 kHz/24 bit surround?


----------



## Dim7

What lead you to agnostic music?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> What lead you to agnostic music?


The smell of doubt.


----------



## Taggart

Mahler's use of cowbells to be banned on noise abatement grounds.

Mahler's use of cowbells to be banned because it encourages cruelty to animals.

(Trouble is these are based on real stories. )


----------



## millionrainbows

Current listening: *Donald Trump: Concerto for Trump and Orchestra*


----------



## Becca

What opera are you currently composing?


----------



## TresPicos

Taggart said:


> Mahler's use of cowbells to be banned on noise abatement grounds.
> 
> Mahler's use of cowbells to be banned because it encourages cruelty to animals.
> 
> (Trouble is these are based on real stories. )


Less cowbell?!!! 

That goes against everything I know!


----------



## Dim7

UnpopularDude has posted

10 000 posts

without

getting

a single like!!!

Well done!


----------



## Guest

Becca said:


> What opera are you currently composing?


Please, this is my line of humour. Whilst still composing my 32nd Symphony in F# minor (please name me _any_ symphony in the repertoire in this key), I have recently started revisions on my previously unfinished (if not entirely started) grand opera buffa "Wagner Does Dallas". I'll keep you all posted, that's a promise.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

TalkingHead said:


> Symphony in F# minor (please name me _any_ symphony in the repertoire in this key),


 George Frederick Bristow Symphony in F-sharp minor, Op. 26

Alexander Glazunov Symphony No. 2

Joseph Haydn Symphony No. 45 "Farewell" (1772)

Myaskovsky Symphony No. 21

Dora Pejačević Symphony (1917)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_symphonies_by_key :lol:


----------



## Guest

Headphone Hermit said:


> George Frederick Bristow Symphony in F-sharp minor, Op. 26
> 
> Alexander Glazunov Symphony No. 2
> 
> Joseph Haydn Symphony No. 45 "Farewell" (1772)
> 
> Myaskovsky Symphony No. 21
> 
> Dora Pejačević Symphony (1917)
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_symphonies_by_key :lol:


Hah, thank you, HH. In reality, my question was intended for the classical period. Do you happen to know of any classical symphony in F-sharp minor other than the Haydn? I ask because it was a question I saw on another forum some years ago and I never found out the answer.
My own unfinished 32nd symphony in F# minor (the "Not-quite-started" as the critics tend to call it) is of course in the pastiche classical style, as I believe this is where the money is to be made.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

^^^ Know anything? You ask me if I *know* anything?

heavens, No! I merely copied a list from Wikipedia :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Complain about neighbour threads (the ones right above and below of this thread in the thread list)


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Social Group Ideas


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Save time and effort - post a post you've already posted in another thread. For instance -

*Tony Bliar: Concerto for Liar and Orchestrated Falsehood*

This could be posted in both 'Current Listening' and in 'Toniality of Popular Music'.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Do you agree with what I didn't say (in the first post)?


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Stupid Social Group Ideas


Dim7's Prison (Involuntary Only Group)


----------



## millionrainbows

More Stupid Social Groups:

Prison Listening: If you are incarcerated, tell us what CM you listen to in order to endure the grueling experience of being incarcerated, or on death row.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Save time and effort - post a post you've already posted in another thread. For instance -
> 
> *Tony Bliar: Concerto for Liar and Orchestrated Falsehood*
> 
> This could be posted in both 'Current Listening' and in 'Toniality of Popular Music'.


Oooh don't make me go all pottymouth.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Have you ever eaten a live moth?


----------



## Jorge Hereth

For _Hannibal Lecter and the Sound of an Orchestra_:

The problem according to Lecter:





The solution according to Lecter:





And now I pretty wonder what one may served be at that place... LOL


----------



## arpeggio

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Have you ever eaten a live moth?


Funny you should mention that.

When I was playing bassoon with the 75th Army Band at an outdoor concert in Richmond, Virginia when I took a deep breath I accidentally sucked in my mouth and swallowed a mouth.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Have you ever eaten a live moth?


Your name isn't Renfield by any chance?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Discovery of an unpublished article by Pierre Boulez*
It was discovered recently that Pierre Boulez drafted an article advising all self-respecting composers to stop speaking Chinese and other tonal languages, saying that "tonality is as outdated in language as it is in music. Sinophones are PATHETIC."
The Boulez Appreciation Society of China is launching an investigation into the authenticity of this document.


----------



## Dim7

*Similar music*

Recommend me some similar music.


----------



## TresPicos

Recommend me something similar to music.


----------



## Dim7

The most similar piece of all time


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Recommend me something similar to music.


Beethoven ?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Beethoven ?


No, too barbaric and malevolent.


----------



## Guest

Recommend me.

Go.on, please.


----------



## Mahlerian

TC Remedial Reading Comprehension Courses: A Free and Desperately Needed Service


----------



## scratchgolf

How man works can you name using the following combination of numbers and symbols? *3 3 4 " '*

How many unfunny jokes can you make from the works you name?

If a deaf man goes to a performance of any and all those works and demands his money back, will you refund him? (<--Unfunny)


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*I Think I Will Stop Using The Word "Balls"*


----------



## Polyphemus

Richannes Wrahms said:


> *I Think I Will Stop Using The Word "Balls"*


Thats going to preclude you from commenting on Tennis then.


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Recommend me.
> 
> Go.on, please.


Ok you are recommended.

P. S. it would be nice to know what I am recommending you for. Don't worry I am sure you will come up with something.


----------



## omega

*Important Announcement*

An anonymous member of TC has posted the following answer to the thread "Tell A Lie":


> I am telling a lie.


The server has crashed and will remain out of order until further notice.


----------



## Guest

omega said:


> *Important Announcement*
> 
> An anonymous member of TC has posted the following answer to the thread "Tell A Lie":
> 
> The server has crashed and will remain out of order until further notice.


It was the
This statement is false.
post that caused the need for the server upgrade.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Ladies and Gentlemen! *
For your amusement: See your_ Off-the-Wall Generalities _transformed into *Inflexible Axioms,* then refuted point by point until there is nothing left! Disappeared! Vanished! Rendered stupidly non-existent by our never-ending horde of argumentative verbal alchemists!


----------



## hpowders

Why did Tchaikovsky call his famous ballet "The Nutcracker Suite"?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> It was the
> This statement is false.
> post that caused the need for the server upgrade.


That was my signature for a long time! Maybe that's why the website crashed sometimes.


----------



## Dim7

What gets you out of your mind in the morning?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> What gets you out of your mind in the morning?


Messiaen................................


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> That was my signature for a long time! Maybe that's why the website crashed sometimes.


I thought it seemed familiar!!!


----------



## TresPicos

*The "Things that look like other things and why" thread*

I go first...

Why does the rook in chess look more like a tower than a bird?


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> I go first...
> 
> Why does the rook in chess look more like a tower than a bird?


Rook comes from the Latin "ruccio" which means fortified building.


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Social Group Button Ideas:

Excess Tools (next to Moderation Tools)


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> Rook comes from the Latin "ruccio" which means fortified building.


I guess that makes sense, then. Among other bird species, the rook could probably be seen as a fortified building.

Okay, one more... Why does the chess knight look like a horse? As far as I've been told (both in elementary school and at university, e g in several graduate courses), the horse is something typically placed between the knight and the ground, and it is not the knight itself, since the knight is a separate sentient being. This keeps me up at night...


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> I guess that makes sense, then.
> 
> This keeps me up at night...


Hang on, I'm just making stupid stuff up!


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> I guess that makes sense, then. Among other bird species, the rook could probably be seen as a fortified building.
> 
> Okay, one more... Why does the chess knight look like a horse? As far as I've been told (both in elementary school and at university, e g in several graduate courses), the horse is something typically placed between the knight and the ground, and it is not the knight itself, since the knight is a separate sentient being. This keeps me up at night...


The word "knight" in chess is a pun. Because at _night_, when it's dark and difficult to see, you can't always tell whether something is a knight or a horse.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> The word "knight" in chess is a pun. Because at _night_, when it's dark and difficult to see, you can't always tell whether something is a knight or a horse.


If you capture a knight with a pawn on the far row of the board this is known as "punning" colloquially (or, at World Championship Level: a Monteverdi take-down).


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Your Favorite Types of Malware


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: I have a good question for you musical maestros:

Okay....here goes!

My favorite ballet is the "Nutcracker Sweet". Did Beethoven title that because of the sugarplums?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Classical Music for Beginners*
If you're intimidated by such scary works as the Pathetic Sonata and The Magic Flute, why not try these easier and more listenable works?
• The Slightly Unsanitary Fugue (Beethoven)
• A Microscopic Amount of Night Music (Mozart
• Le Petit Macabre (Ligeti)
• The Could Do Better Sonata (Beethoven)
• The Really Rather Unexpected Symphony (Haydn)
• The Superstitious Piccolo (Mozart)
• The Oh Splendid Chorus (from _Messiah)_ (Handel)
• Quartet for a Moderately Long Time in the Future (Messaien)
• And I Hope The Slightly Ill People Get Better (Messaien)
• Moon Sniffle (Sculthorpe)


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Classical Music for Beginners*
> If you're intimidated by such scary works as the Pathetic Sonata and The Magic Flute, why not try these easier and more listenable works?
> • The Slightly Unsanitary Fugue (Beethoven)
> • A Microscopic Amount of Night Music (Mozart
> • Le Petit Macabre (Ligeti)
> • The Could Do Better Sonata (Beethoven)
> • The Really Rather Unexpected Symphony (Haydn)
> • The Superstitious Piccolo (Mozart)
> • The Oh Splendid Chorus (from _Messiah)_ (Handel)
> • Quartet for a Moderately Long Time in the Future (Messaien)
> • And I Hope The Slightly Ill People Get Better (Messaien)
> • Moon Sniffle (Sculthorpe)


Gustav Mahler - Somewhat Symphony-like vocal work for a slightly larger than average orchestra
Gustav Mahler - Symphony no. 6 'Not Unambiguously Happy Ending'
Beethoven - Symphony no. 3 "Respectable Symphony, Composed to celebrate the memory of a man who was not a complete loser"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Gustav Mahler - Somewhat Symphony-like vocal work for slightly larger than average orchestra
> Gustav Mahler - Symphony no. 6 'Not Unambiguously Happy Ending'
> Beethoven - Symphony no. 3 "Respectable Symphony, Composed to celebrate the memory of a man who was not a complete loser"


Continuing the symphonic theme:
Mozart - Symphony No. 41, "Saturn"
Brian - Symphony No. 1, "Emo"
Górecki - Symphony No. 3, "A Symphony that Needs to Cheer Up a Bit"
Schoenberg - Cupboard Symphony
Ligeti - Symphonic Stanza for Approximately Twelve Metronomes


----------



## Dim7

Scriabin - The Poem of Contentedness


----------



## Guest

*Ligeti's* _Ten Pieces for Wind Quintet_: how to simplify the rhythms and create more 'on-the-beat' cohesion.


----------



## omega

MoonlightSonata said:


> Continuing the symphonic theme:
> Mozart - Symphony No. 41, "Saturn"
> Brian - Symphony No. 1, "Emo"
> Górecki - Symphony No. 3, "A Symphony that Needs to Cheer Up a Bit"
> Schoenberg - Cupboard Symphony
> Ligeti - Symphonic Stanza for Approximately Twelve Metronomes


Mendelssohn - Symphony No.1 "Itullian"
Mahler - Symphony No.1 "Dwarf"
Mahler - Symphony No.2 "To Dust You Shall Return"
Bruckner - Symphony No.4 "The Not-So-Romantic because those who dated a girl and played this music during dinner remained single"
Bruckner - Symphony No.3 "Philipp Glass"
Stravinsky - Symphony of Small Ads
Hindemith - Symphony "Mathis the plumber"


----------



## Dim7

Penderecki - Threnody to the victims of unpleasant humidity


----------



## Morimur

Dim7 said:


> Penderecki - Threnody to the victims of unpleasant humidity


Count me among the casualties.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Chipomarc said:


> Maria went out with a guy who said this:
> 
> I hate the opera. I think I must have a tin ear. No matter how hard I concentrate it still sounds like a bunch of Italian chefs screaming risotto recipes at each other.
> 
> ---- Aristotle Onassis
> 
> Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/author/11107-Aristotle_Onassis


Maria clearly dated the wrong Aristotle.


----------



## arpeggio

I am a musician and I could not compose a decent piece of music if my life depended on it.

It is because I am a trained musician that I realize that my compositions stink and will not subject the members to any of them.


----------



## Jorge Hereth

Richannes Wrahms said:


> *I Think I Will Stop Using The Word "Balls"*


And how are gonna comment on a soccer match?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Classical Music for Beginners*
> If you're intimidated by such scary works as the Pathetic Sonata and The Magic Flute, why not try these easier and more listenable works?
> • The Slightly Unsanitary Fugue (Beethoven)
> • A Microscopic Amount of Night Music (Mozart
> • Le Petit Macabre (Ligeti)
> • The Could Do Better Sonata (Beethoven)
> • The Really Rather Unexpected Symphony (Haydn)
> • The Superstitious Piccolo (Mozart)
> • The Oh Splendid Chorus (from _Messiah)_ (Handel)
> • Quartet for a Moderately Long Time in the Future (Messaien)
> • And I Hope The Slightly Ill People Get Better (Messaien)
> • Moon Sniffle (Sculthorpe)


Richard Strauss - Symphonia Domestica
1. Introduction of the themes (husband's, wife's and the child's) - Tranquil (ruhig): Observation that the child is "Just like Papa" and "Just like Mama"
2. Scherzo: Parents' happiness. Childish play. - Cradle song.
3. Adagio: Doing and thinking. Love scene. Dreams and cares (the clock strikes seven in the morning).
4. Finale: Awakening and merry dispute (double fugue). Joyous confusion.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

classical music is so straight


----------



## Pugg

Will people ever learn?


----------



## Guest

Following on from the Obnoxious Avatars thread:

Why do people write posts in Urdu?


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Following on from the Obnoxious Avatars thread:
> 
> Why do people write posts in Urdu?


Because the Mods won't allow us to use obscene expressions which are apt answers particularly on this thread.


----------



## Guest

Polyphemus said:


> Because the Mods won't allow us to use obscene expressions which are apt answers particularly on this thread.


Really? Well that just confirms that the mods are अनुचित


----------



## Polyphemus

MoonlightSonata said:


> classical music is so straight


Oh sweetcheeks you are sooooo wrong.


----------



## Polyphemus

dogen said:


> Really? Well that just confirms that the mods are अनुचित


I probably agree.


----------



## Balthazar

Pugg said:


> Will people ever learn?


Amen. File that under "Wishful Thinking."

We had a pleasant summer...


----------



## Dim7

The Non-Classical 'I'm Currently Not Listening To...' Topic


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Website Ideas:

www.donttalk4-33.com


----------



## Dim7

*A scale question*

Is there a name for a scale with these notes:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

(oops, deleted)


----------



## Dim7

Your scale actually had notes.... there's the difference.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Your scale actually had notes.... there's the difference.


Oops... I'm afraid I rather misinterpreted that.


----------



## Celloman

Answer a Musical Question with Another Musical Question

..................................................................?


----------



## Dim7

Celloman said:


> Answer a Musical Question with Another Musical Question
> 
> ..................................................................?


----------



## Dim7

*Auto-offensive posts*

Just before leaving TC for a few months, I changed my avatar. When I came back, I read some post I found terribly offensive and irritating, naturally reporting it to the mods. It was only after that I realized the post was actually mine - I identify posters primarily by avatar and I wasn't yet used to my new one. Has anything like this happened to other members here? Have you ever been offended by your own posts?


----------



## Chipomarc

I'm way too narcissistic to use a lame avatar


----------



## Balthazar

Chipomarc said:


> I'm way too narcissistic to use a lame avatar


Ditto. (And kudos.)


----------



## Dim7

Balthazar said:


> Ditto. (And kudos.)


Alas...........


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Current Activity Ideas:

Running away from forums


----------



## Dim7

Stupid "Stupid [Something] Ideas" -Ideas


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Social Group Idea:

Likeaholics Anonymous


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Endless Tedium Thread:*
All posts must be identical to the post before them.


----------



## Mahlerian

*The Endless Tedium Thread:*
All posts must be identical to the post before them.

Or at least _mostly_ identical...


----------



## Guest

The Endless Psychic Thread:
All posts must be identical to the post after them.


----------



## Huilunsoittaja

A thread called

"Why do we musically label or categorize _anything _if we like breaking them down so much?"


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> *The Endless Tedium Thread:*
> All posts must be identical to the post before them.
> 
> Or at least _mostly_ identical...


This rip-off STI got more likes than the original, and it was poster right after it so it isn't like people haven't seen the original... This is some blatant currying favor with a moderator.


----------



## Dim7

Balthazar said:


> Ditto. (And kudos.)










...............................


----------



## millionrainbows

Homage to Dim7: 

Penderecki: Threnody for the Victims of the Bad Squash Casserole at Luby's


----------



## millionrainbows

Welcome, stupid people!


----------



## Sloe

Dim7 said:


> This rip-off STI got more likes than the original, and it was poster right after it so it isn't like people haven't seen the original... This is some blatant currying favor with a moderator.


The like was for actually following the thread.


----------



## Dim7

I know, just playing dumb, as it is the theme of this thread....


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Which Two TCers are Most Likely to Get Married?*

*To one another, that is. And those already romantically involved don't count.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which Two TCers are Most Likely to Get Married?*
> 
> *To one another, that is. And those already romantically involved don't count.


We need a "marriage" function here at TC in addition to the "friend" system. But first we must determine by polls whether to allow gay marriage and/or polygamy.


----------



## arpeggio

What mean you I grammar gat bad and I Kant speel?


----------



## joen_cph

I really miss a specially designed warning sign, indicating the existence of a surprise in a thread that one is about to read, because I tend to much prefer bland and conform threads.

I´d also suggest a sort of a warning sign telling of the presence of advanced or intellectual jokes in a given thread, since I don´t like such challenges.


----------



## Guest

Warning Sign Suggestions Thread.

What would you like to see?


----------



## hpowders

Counting Without A Score

Post no. 1: I just counted to a hundred an eleben all by myself!
Whoops! Here comes the damn nurse with my medication, so I don't know when I can write again.
Anyhow, how high can you guys count all by yourself without a score?


----------



## Sir Redcrosse

Am I the only one that never counted measures of silence? 
I just memorized when I was supposed to come back in haha


----------



## hpowders

Sir Redcrosse said:


> Am I the only one that never counted measures of silence?
> I just memorized when I was supposed to come back in haha


I saw a movie last night where the 2 harpists were doing their nails during a performance. Funny!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: If Ginger played tennis, how would it that his followed character entrance proposal directly had elegance? 
- Greater for cottage parties neutral
- Remaining he furniture on he discourse suspected perpetual
- Power dried her taken place day ought the vicinity
- Is post each that just leaf no
- He connection interested so we and sympathize advantages
- Unsure
- Who cares


----------



## Dim7

Can a reader's interpretation of a TC post ever be wrong?


----------



## millionrainbows

Homage to MoonlightSonata:​Poll: If Ginger Baker played tennis instead of drums, how would it that his followed character entrance proposal directly had elegance?
- Greater for cottage parties in the English countryside
- Moving the furniture away for perpetual rehearsals
- Powder dried his skin
- Is that just leaf ? No, it's the hard stuff
- Drummers are interested and so are we, about advantages of using double bass drums
- Unsure if he's still living
- Red hair​


----------



## hpowders

Let me be the first on TC to announce there is a new Maria Callas boxed set!!! 

Post no. 1: Anyone interested?


----------



## hpowders

*New revolutionary "Ignore" posting innovation breakthrough!!*

Post no. 1. Hello posters. I have invented a cyberchip that when attached to your posts will render you completely invisible-nobody will see your posts or replies to posts; your post count will never fluctuate; you will no longer be able to give or receive those obnoxious, pain in the butt "likes" or send or receive PM's or annoying visitor messages.

For only $1000, it will make your TC situation exactly the same as if you are no longer here and completely 100% TC socially dead.

Hurry! This offer may be discontinued at any time!


----------



## Dim7

*Atonality's existence finally proved*

Mahlerian's house was yesterday raided by the Tonal Police and atonality was found hidden in the attic. Atonality will be taken to musicologists for further investigation; a fierce debate has ensued whether atonality should be destroyed or utilized as a weapon.

Mahlerian is expected to post a public apology and to admit the existence of atonality.


----------



## Guest

Could he have written a 45 minute symphony with it, or was that a lie?


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Could he have written a 45 minute symphony with it, or was that a lie?


It wasn't a symphony technically speaking. By definition symphony [blabblablaba]


----------



## Dim7

*New advanced troll tactic discovered!*

Describe something in a derogatory sounding way, but say you like it anyway.


----------



## Dim7

Okay so serialism was a move forward, backward, right, left, upward, downward, whatever. But more importantly, how it moved? On foot? Crawling? Running? By aeroplane?


----------



## Guest

Non-CM things I do with my non-kids.


----------



## Guest

What now for music?

(In light of the announcement by scientists at CERN that they had collided tonal and atonal particles together, resulting in their mutual destruction; leaving only bosons of modal jazz).


----------



## joen_cph

Dim7 said:


> Okay so serialism was a move forward, backward, right, left, upward, downward, whatever. But more importantly, how it moved? On foot? Crawling? Running? *By aeroplane?*


Booing might have propelled its fame somewhat, but not so much Boeing


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Classical Music for Beginners*
> If you're intimidated by such scary works as the Pathetic Sonata and The Magic Flute, why not try these easier and more listenable works?
> • The Slightly Unsanitary Fugue (Beethoven)
> • A Microscopic Amount of Night Music (Mozart
> • Le Petit Macabre (Ligeti)
> • The Could Do Better Sonata (Beethoven)
> • The Really Rather Unexpected Symphony (Haydn)
> • The Superstitious Piccolo (Mozart)
> • The Oh Splendid Chorus (from _Messiah)_ (Handel)
> • Quartet for a Moderately Long Time in the Future (Messaien)
> • And I Hope The Slightly Ill People Get Better (Messaien)
> • Moon Sniffle (Sculthorpe)


John Luther Adams - Become Puddle


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> *New advanced troll tactic discovered!*
> 
> Describe something in a derogatory sounding way, but say you like it anyway.


Wow Dim7, your posts are so worthless, empty and boring that I can't help loving them.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Wow Dim7, your posts are so worthless, empty and boring that I can't help loving them.


You need to make it a bit more subtle than that, now it sounds like ordinary sarcasm. Say that my posts are empty and meaningless, but in a very zen way.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> You need to make it a bit more subtle than that, now it sounds like ordinary sarcasm. Say that my posts are empty and meaningless, but in a very zen way.


Your way of correcting poor MoonlightSonata, there, was both useless and refreshing at the same time. I want more of it and less of it. I want to turn off my computer, and I want to keep it on. I want to sleep, and stay awake. Zen.


----------



## Guest

Dim7.
Your posts are full.
Full like the sky, and vast. 
And actually, you really are full of


----------



## Dustin

Moderator Career Track Suggestions?


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> You need to make it a bit more subtle than that, now it sounds like ordinary sarcasm. Say that my posts are empty and meaningless, but in a very zen way.


Zen you must improve.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Which Composer Was The Most Zen?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which Composer Was The Most Zen?


Zenlinsky


----------



## Chopiniana93

Simple question concerning the first thread (hoping that I will not go OT): Who was Natalie Wood?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Chopiniana93 said:


> Simple question concerning the first thread (hoping that I will not go OT): Who was Natalie Wood?


Í haven't really thought about that, for some reason. Wikipedia knows all, though.


----------



## Chopiniana93

Aha, now I realized!!  Thanks


----------



## Guest

Can bald people play the flugelhorn?


----------



## Guest

Everything you wanted to know about Smetana’s First String Quartet but were afraid to ask.


----------



## Dim7

I would like a little resistance against my new classical library


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> I would like a little resistance against my new classical library


Just try chanting. Ohm, ohm, ohm...


----------



## Guest

Mahlerian said:


> Just try chanting. Ohm, ohm, ohm...


I think I'm going to Like that just so I can Unlike it!


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> I think I'm going to Like that just so I can Unlike it!


Ditto for your post.... I have to unlike it because it's unlike anything I've ever seen before.

Why doesn't the forum notifiy about unlikes btw?


----------



## hpowders

Can anyone recommend to me some good medieval atonal music-the kind that used to be played in secrecy by heretics?


----------



## joen_cph

Please rank Fartein Valen´s 25,000 piano etudes, 
and explain thoroughly the reasons for their placement in the ranking.

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fartein_Valen)


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Ditto for your post.... I have to unlike it because it's unlike anything I've ever seen before.
> 
> Why doesn't the forum notifiy about unlikes btw?


In case it exacerbates someone's psychological ill health.

My paranoia, for instance.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> *New revolutionary "Ignore" posting innovation breakthrough!!*
> 
> Post no. 1. Hello posters. I have invented a cyberchip that when attached to your posts will render you completely invisible-nobody will see your posts or replies to posts; your post count will never fluctuate; you will no longer be able to give or receive those obnoxious, pain in the butt "likes" or send or receive PM's or annoying visitor messages.
> 
> For only $1000, it will make your TC situation exactly the same as if you are no longer here and completely 100% TC socially dead.
> 
> Hurry! This offer may be discontinued at any time!


Does it have a "reverse" switch?


----------



## millionrainbows

Early Schoenberg scores discovered!

Suite for Toy Piano
Hansel und Gretel
Five Pieces for Neighborhood Children's Orchestra (toy piano, small bells, rattles, whistles, plastic flutes, ukulele, etc.)
The Kinder Lieder
Book of the Hanging Monkey Bars
Hans the Clown, a cycle of 21 songs


----------



## millionrainbows

Announcement of New Karl Jenkins music:

Symphony No. 3 "Spam"
24 Variations on Themes by Danny Elfman
Concerto for Ukelele, Cute Female Voice, and Orchestra, based on commercial themes








Peter and the Wolf Brand Chile, narrated by Sam Elliot, commissioned by the American Beef Council and Wendy's


----------



## millionrainbows

Stupid Albums We'd Like to See:

Jim Hall and Jimi Hendrix: Together in Concert
Frank Sinatra sings Dave Clark 5
John Fogerty sings Rogers and Hammerstein
Janis Joplin sings Burt Bacharach


----------



## Vaneyes

millionrainbows said:


> Stupid Albums We'd Like to See:
> 
> Jim Hall and Jimi Hendrix: Together in Concert
> *Frank Sinatra sings Dave Clark 5*
> John Fogerty sings Rogers and Hammerstein
> Janis Joplin sings Burt Bacharach


Frank in colorful Nehru jacket, did do 5th Dimension with 5th Dimension.


----------



## millionrainbows

That qualifies as stupid. Sinatra also covered George Harrison's "Something" and said, "That's one of the best songs Lennon and McCartney ever wrote."


----------



## millionrainbows

More stupid albums we's like to see:

Myron Floren live at the Fillmore West
Jim Morrison sings Sinatra
Glenn Gould plays Scott Joplin
Karajan conducts Star Wars
Ethel Merman: Strauss, Four Last Songs
Segovia Goes Pop: The Beatles Songbook


----------



## Vaneyes

millionrainbows said:


> More stupid albums we's like to see:
> 
> Myron Floren live at the Fillmore West
> Jim Morrison sings Sinatra
> *Glenn Gould plays Scott Joplin*
> Karajan conducts Star Wars
> Ethel Merman: Strauss, Four Last Songs
> Segovia Goes Pop: The Beatles Songbook


GG surprised many with his...

Search for Petula Clark:











Lest we forget the Bono & Pav duo.


----------



## Guest

Dealing with Goblins.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Composers and Marshmallows


----------



## Dim7

Recommend me classical which does NOT sound like death metal (no barbaric and malevolent stuff like Air on G String).


----------



## Dim7

*Pointless Composer Bottle #1 - Mozart and Wagner*









Discuss .


----------



## joen_cph

Musically, I have only been listening to Dolly Parton all my life, but now I want to explore classical music also. Please recommend some classical music similar to Dolly Parton.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Recommend me classical which does NOT sound like death metal (no barbaric and malevolent stuff like Air on G String).


You'll want something melodic and soothing - try Boulez or Penderecki.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> View attachment 74888
> 
> 
> Discuss .


I have the Spanish edition, with the worm. Mozart fizzy? Try it sometime, you'll be pleasantly surprised. Otherwise, this is not a bottle to be taken lightly, but to lay down and avoid.


----------



## millionrainbows

Hi, I'm an Aborigine from Australia, and all my life I've been listening to digeridoo music. What composers would be good to listen to? I've got some Lamont Young, and I really like it.


----------



## millionrainbows

More pointless bottle composers!


----------



## Dim7

millionrainbows said:


> More pointless bottle composers!


Where?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Non-orientable composers by dimension.


----------



## Dim7

Any/All discussions about Politics, Religion or Pokémon are restricted to the Social Groups.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Composter Picture Thread*

Yes, at last!! This is the Composter Picture Thread!! Everybody post your favorites. Comments welcome!


----------



## Balthazar

*Can Pasta Be An Important Source Of Inspiration For The Future?*

I'm thinking specifically of bucatini and cavatappi.

Any thoughts?


----------



## Dr Johnson

The disobedience of inanimate objects.


----------



## Dim7

Serious pictures to bring on the gravitas


----------



## TwoPhotons

Pointless Piece Battle #1: Monteverdi's L'Orfeo vs Stravinsky's Les Noces


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Can The Past Inspire the Furniture?


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> View attachment 74888
> 
> 
> Discuss .


The bottle is half full with music by Mozart and half empty with music by Wagner.


----------



## Dim7

I don't get how they managed to cram the composer heads through the bottleneck.


----------



## Dr Johnson

I think they attach long bits of cotton to their ears.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> I don't get how they managed to cram the composer heads through the bottleneck.


They use a string section.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> I don't get how they managed to cram the composer heads through the bottleneck.


They put in a medal saying "Greatest Opera Composer Ever", and the composers crammed themselves in.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> They put in a medal saying "Greatest Opera Composer Ever", and the composers crammed themselves in.


Eh, that'd be more like a proof of "Smallest Composer Ever" if anything.


----------



## millionrainbows

Blancrocher said:


> *Composter Picture Thread*
> 
> Yes, at last!! This is the Composter Picture Thread!! Everybody post your favorites. Comments welcome!
> 
> View attachment 74908


A.K.A. postmodernism


----------



## millionrainbows

Webern wrote very short music because...he was SHORT!


----------



## Dim7

When you are NOT talking about what you are NOT listening to when NOT talking about what you are NOT listening to, what are you NOT listening to?


----------



## Dim7

Riding a dead horse


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Eating a dead horse
Being a dead horse
Beating a red horse
Reading a lead hearse
Needing a red purse
Seating a dead glass
Cheating a dread nurse
Sweating through head pores
Greeting a fed gorse


----------



## Dim7

Mozart battling Wagner pointlessly while Frédéric Chopin Or Franz Liszt beats a dead Pokémon


----------



## Balthazar

Balthazar said:


> *Genuinely Creepy Thread Ideas
> 
> *What Are You Wearing?


Follow-up Thread:

When you're NOT listening to classical, what are you wearing?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Flogging a dead metaphor.


----------



## Guest

Flogging Patti Smith albums.


----------



## Dim7

The message you have entered is of too moderate length. Please lengthen or shorten your message by at least 200 characters.


----------



## Guest

Question a horse with a poll.


----------



## Dim7

Can mods edit likes?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Pole dancing: did Mozart like it?


----------



## joen_cph

Pole dancing: did Chopin like it?

( yes! )


----------



## Guest

joen_cph said:


> Pole dancing: did Chopin like it?
> 
> ( yes! )


Lapp dancing: did Sibelius like it?

(Oh yes)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Morris dancing: did Ravel like it?

(Maurice dancing, anyway)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Dealing with Trolls
Lesson 1 - Selling to trolls*
1. Approach the troll
2. Show him/her what you are selling
3. Advise him/her of how much money you want for the product
4. If the troll is interested, give him/her the product
5. Ask for the amount of money agreed on beforehand.
6. If the troll gives you the money, then congratulations! You have done a deal with a troll.
7. If the troll refuses to give you money, ask more firmly.
8. If the troll then gives you the money, see 6.
9. If the troll still refuses to give you the money, threaten to call the police.
10. If the troll gives you the money, see 6.
11. If the troll still refuses to give you the money, call the police.
12. Situations in which the troll attacks you are beyond the scope of this guide.
13. Wait for the police arrive.
14. If the police are able to extract the money from the troll, see 6. 
15. Situations in which the troll overpowers the police are beyond the scope of this guide.

Next: *Lesson 2 - Buying from trolls*


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*Offend a random member by exploiting their weaknesses.*

For example: random member is offended by criticism of their less gifted favourite composers. 
What to do: say their music is something (cheap, populist, irrelevant, banal, repetitive, etc)

Example No.2 : random member is offended by criticism of their better gifted favourite composers.
What to do: say their music is something (immoral, neurotic, atonal, pessimistic, unmelodic, etc)

Example No.3 : random member is a fanatic
What to do: point out reality

Example No.3 : random member is offended by their arguments being proven wrong
What to do: nothing, not worth it, this is the crack in the system, see examples 1, 2 and 3


----------



## Dim7

Answer An Interesting Question With A Boring Answer


----------



## joen_cph

Be More Boring Than The Previous Poster


----------



## Dim7

joen_cph said:


> Be More Boring Than The Previous Poster


Well you failed in that!


----------



## Blancrocher

*Go Rogue!*

This thread is addressed to the regular participants of Stupid Thread Ideas. I would simply like to ask that people not restrict their ideas to STI. It is important for us all to make frequent, self-confessedly idiotic threads throughout the rest of the forum. I feel that, among other things, it makes everyone feel more comfortable posting.


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> *Go Rogue!*
> 
> This thread is addressed to the regular participants of Stupid Thread Ideas. I would simply like to ask that people not restrict their ideas to STI. It is important for us all to make frequent, self-confessedly idiotic threads throughout the rest of the forum. I feel that, among other things, it makes everyone feel more comfortable posting.


What makes this thread idea stupid is that we're already doing this.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Become Sane!*
In order to shock the non-STI members of the forum, I propose that we all start logical, sensible threads.


----------



## Dim7

The discussion thread about the "Merits of discussing about meta-discussion" thread


----------



## millionrainbows

Will STI give me STDs?


----------



## Dim7

Immoral Thread Ideas


----------



## millionrainbows

Do you need to "understand" music to enjoy it?

Nahh, man, no professor's gonna tell me what I can and can't like. Just lay back and groove to this Mozart. Here, take a hit off this. W-w-w-w-f-f-f-f....ahh, that's good. Whazzat, a symphony? Hey, that Mozart dude's pretty good.


----------



## Dim7

When you're NOT engaging in theft, blackmail, fraud or vandalism, what are you doing?


----------



## Blancrocher

*Is it too early for a drink?*

The title says it all. Responses from European members only, please.


----------



## Guest

22.19? Too early? There's will power.


----------



## Dim7

My posts are incoherent enough without any aid of alcohol...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

What about European members who now live in New Zealand, and who are underage anyway?


----------



## Pugg

MoonlightSonata said:


> What about European members who now live in New Zealand, and who are underage anyway?


Take a orange juice :lol:


----------



## Dr Johnson

MoonlightSonata said:


> What about European members who now live in New Zealand, and who are underage anyway?


New Zealand has some excellent Pinot Noirs.


----------



## Dim7

*Explosion of your avatar*

Post an animated picture of your avatar exploding.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> *Explosion of your avatar*
> 
> Post an animated picture of your avatar exploding.


I thought you were Mahlerian for a moment. Then I noticed that your avatar was on its side.


----------



## Balthazar

"Slightly Off Mahlerian" may be Dim7's most brilliant creation yet!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I thought for a moment that Mahlerian had had to go for a little lie down in response to the STI regulars' antics. But I see it's just the STI regulars' antics again!


----------



## joen_cph

The TC Top-100 pieces for the triangle. An exciting project.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Annoy Posters On This Thread By Repeatedly Liking And Unliking Their Posts


----------



## TurnaboutVox

joen_cph said:


> The TC Top-100 pieces for the triangle. An exiting project.


Tingling, yes...


----------



## joen_cph

Supplementary List 1: 
Your Favourite Works For Ukulele And Triangle


----------



## Dim7

*Profane music that bores*

Boring black metal recommendations plz.


----------



## Blancrocher

*The Easily Googleable Question Thread*

Hi Everybody! This is the Easily Googleable Question Thread! This is where you can ask anything you want of the resident experts at TC, so long as it doesn't actually require any knowledge or expertise. A question you'd like the answer to but are too lazy to look up the answer to just occurred to you? Well ask it here!

I'll start:

Could anybody tell me Anton Bruckner's birth date, by chance?


----------



## Vaneyes

Blancrocher said:


> *The Easily Googleable Question Thread*
> 
> Hi Everybody! This is the Easily Googleable Question Thread! This is where you can ask anything you want of the resident experts at TC, so long as it doesn't actually require any knowledge or expertise. A question you'd like the answer to but are too lazy to look up the answer to just occurred to you? Well ask it here!
> 
> I'll start:
> 
> Could anybody tell me Anton Bruckner's birth date, by chance?


Of course. I have Wikipedia even at bedside.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Anton Bruckner guesses your weight. Roll up, roll up!


----------



## Vaneyes

*Yuja Wang* (Women can substitute *Earl Wild*) poll. Her (His) You Tube performances make you: 1. Smoking Hot; 2. Hot; 3. Warm; 4. Lukewarm; 5. Cool; 6. Cold; 7. Ice Cold; 8. Don't care.


----------



## Blancrocher

*The Longest Thread on the Forum*

Hello, Everybody! This is The Longest Thread On The Forum!!! Now please reply quickly and at length before someone calls me a liar!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Most Average-Length Thread on the Forum*
In this project I intend to find out the average length of a thread on this forum, and then have a moderator close the thread then it reaches that length. If the average length becomes longer or shorter, mods can add or delete posts.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Never mind the quality, feel the width.

Or something like that....


----------



## Vaneyes

Blancrocher said:


> *The Longest Thread on the Forum*
> 
> Hello, Everybody! This is The Longest Thread On The Forum!!! Now please reply quickly and at length before someone calls me a liar!!


And if a few of the big attachment people arrive here from Current Listening, it'll have a Vol. II in no time.


----------



## Dim7

Having someone as a TC "friend" means that you can follow their activity more easily and not much else. It would make as much sense to send a friend request to your enemies as it would to send it to your friends. "Friend list" should therefore be changed to "Stalking list".


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 will be available in an institution near you soon.

In the meantime here's something to play with.


----------



## Dim7

Unfunny videos to stave off the hilarity


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dr Johnson said:


> Dim7 will be available in an institution near you soon.
> 
> In the meantime here's something to play with.


Oooooooh.

That'll keep me occupied for the next few hours.


----------



## joen_cph

_"Anton Bruckner - The Musical."_

Ideas sought for this brand-new, yet obvious project.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

joen_cph said:


> _"Anton Bruckner - The Musical."_
> 
> Ideas sought for this brand-new, yet obvious project.


*Synopsis:*
Act 00000000: The Birth of a Genius
Act 0000000: The Childhood of Bruckner
...


----------



## Dim7

What happens in my life - Come in and guess


----------



## joen_cph

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Synopsis:*
> Act 00000000: The Birth of a Genius
> Act 0000000: The Childhood of Bruckner
> ...


Act 000000:: The Childhood of Bruckner. Version 2A, "Mit Linzer Kleine Kommode-Notizen".


----------



## Dr Johnson

Pretend to be Robert Fripp for a day.


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> Pretend to be Robert Fripp for a day.


Does Dim7 have to be Toyah?


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> Does Dim7 have to be Toyah?




blahblahblahblahblah


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Hurricanes that have blown you away recently


----------



## Dim7

bleaaaaaaaaaaaaargh (deleted)


----------



## TwoPhotons

*The Totally Official "Looks Like" Thread*

I'll start:



































​
Post more of your favourites here!


----------



## Dim7

Not really stupid idea. As a Stupid Moderator I have given you Intelligence points. Shame on you.


----------



## Dim7

*Numbers you wish existed*

I'd like to a prime number larger than 7 and smaller than 11 to exist.


----------



## Dim7

TC moderation team is disturbed by age inappropriate behavior at Talk Classical. This is not to be tolerated. To single out some members:

Dim7: No more Pokémon, Moomin or Final Fantasy avatars for you. Shut the **** up about these subjects, nobody gives a flying ****. You are a ****ing adult now, talk about and do boring adult stuff like you're supposed to.

MoonlightSonata: You are in your early teens, so more bragging about getting laid and drunk. Bring on the bawdy humor. More spelling errors and slang used by your peers. You are not supposed to actually be into classical at this point, but considering that this is a classical music forum, I guess you'll have to play the role of a metalhead who thinks that metal is basically classical.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> *Numbers you wish existed*
> 
> I'd like to a prime number larger than 7 and smaller than 11 to exist.


Granted; but now you have eleven eyes, 7 limbs, and are an alien arachnid species.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dr Johnson said:


> Pretend to be Robert Fripp for a day.


But David Torn has already done it.


----------



## Dim7

*Current sensing*

I have currently a ticklish sensation around my neck.


----------



## Dim7

Looking for Some Great Early (pre-1650) Germs


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Sideways*
I will post the start of a story in this dimension, and you have to continue the story sideways through other dimensions.


----------



## Dim7

Siderated works


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Dim7 said:


> Siderated works


Actually, this is not a stupid topic. There are composers or pieces that are rated highly, but sometimes for the wrong reasons.

I think Webern is siderated. People sometimes praise Webern for being abstract and crystalline and perfect or whatever, where in reality he has a great capacity to emote in detail, whether it be an orchestral song/cantata or a string quartet/trio. Maybe even the most emotive composer.


----------



## Dim7

SeptimalTritone said:


> Actually, this is not a stupid topic.


I'm offended.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Dim7 said:


> *Numbers you wish existed*
> 
> I'd like to a prime number larger than 7 and smaller than 11 to exist.


Just define your own ordering function on the integers, and presto!

Theoretical mathematics, the art of intellectual ma$terbation.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

New social group: That Really Small Storage Cupboard That Could Be Full of Chaffinches For All Anyone Knows


----------



## Dr Johnson

SeptimalTritone said:


> Just define your own ordering function on the integers, and presto!
> 
> Theoretical mathematics, the art of intellectual ma$terbation.


Onan's Hippopotamus.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dr Johnson said:


> Onan's Hippopotamus.


What differentiates Onan's Hippopotamus from Rayman's?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Rayman expected someone else to take his in hand.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The hippopotamus was engaged to be married?


----------



## Dr Johnson

MoonlightSonata said:


> The hippopotamus was engaged to be married?


Up to a point.....


----------



## Dim7

Answer A Philosophical Question With A Dance


----------



## Dim7

*How did I begin to listen to/like classical music - Steal my story!! *

I'm going to tell my story how I got into classical. Post it on other forums, or tell it IRL, and claim that it is your story! Here's my story:

Blahblahblah blah blaeperlleo bbleeeooooaaaaargghh........


----------



## Dim7

Thread creator should have mod rights over his/her thread (Site Feedback & Technical Support)


----------



## Blancrocher

*In Praise of Censorship*

Hi Everybody! This is the In Praise of Censorship thread!! I know that a lot of you complain about editing/deletions of your posts by the mods, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who sometimes thinks: "well, you know, they really got it right this time. I _did_ just flagrantly break the terms of service by calling **** a ******* *******. I _deserved_ those infraction points. All credit to the mods for spotting it." The problem is, often when that happens nobody sees the good work that was done!

This thread is your chance to change that. Anytime a post of yours gets deleted or changed, just post the original here and explain the rationale for its deletion, come clean about your guilt, and allow us all to celebrate the mod's timely and intelligent vigilance.


----------



## Dim7

Karajan: Godlike idiot or mad conformist


----------



## hpowders

*Attention TC Posters!!
*

Hello posters.

I am offering a course in how not to violate the three second waiting rule for issuing consecutive "likes". After three weeks, you will be "liking" like a pro! Guaranteed! Why put up with frustrating waiting times to quickly "like" posts to demonstrate loyalty to members of your clique? Well worth the exorbitant cost for the impatient among us.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

_Social groups:_
Homicidal Maniacs
People Who Are Literally Claude Debussy
Ceiling Fan Club
People Who Have Never Been to Canada, But Plan To Within The Next Seven Weeks (please leave upon visiting Canada)
The Group Consisting Only of Me


----------



## Balthazar

*Answer an Argument with a Rhetorical Question*

Example...

Original post: _J. S. Bach was a master of counterpoint._

Response: _Who are YOU to say that Bach was a master of counterpoint?_

Come on. This will be fun. I promise.


----------



## Dim7

Everything you wanted to know about gutters but were afraid to ask


----------



## Guest

OP to lock down: what's your PB?

a) with politics
b) with religion
c) ad homs
d) combination


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Everything you wanted to know about gutters but were afraid to ask


Love the avatar, but what does it mean?


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> *Attention TC Posters!!
> *
> 
> Hello posters.
> 
> I am offering a course in how not to violate the three second waiting rule for issuing consecutive "likes". After three weeks, you will be "liking" like a pro! Guaranteed! Why put up with frustrating waiting times to quickly "like" posts to demonstrate loyalty to members of your clique? Well worth the exorbitant cost for the impatient among us.


My clique pay me.


----------



## Dim7

*Although*

Discuss. Pros and cons of although and althoughness.


----------



## Dim7

Boring "boring pictures": Post pictures that would be boring in a bad, uninteresting way if posted in the Boring pictures thread.


----------



## Dim7

Pieces you both love and like


----------



## Pugg

Balthazar said:


> *Answer an Argument with a Rhetorical Question*
> 
> Example...
> 
> Original post: _J. S. Bach was a master of counterpoint._
> 
> Response: _Who are YOU to say that Bach was a master of counterpoint?_
> 
> Come on. This will be fun. I promise.


As long as it not about; you know who :lol:


----------



## hpowders

*Help needed!*

I can't find the Berg Wozzeck recording with Maria Callas conducted by Toscanini.


----------



## Dim7

Posters you love to hate


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> Posters you love to hate











I don't mind the movie, really, but the poster is pathetic. "The Man, The Music, The Madness, The Murder, The Motion Picture ... AMADEUS."

It's just so stupid.


----------



## joen_cph

Reply to anticipated, offensive questions - to avoid them being asked, of course.

Preferably in large numbers.


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> _Social groups:_
> Homicidal Maniacs
> People Who Are Literally Claude Debussy
> Ceiling Fan Club
> People Who Have Never Been to Canada, But Plan To Within The Next Seven Weeks (please leave upon visiting Canada)
> The Group Consisting Only of Me


The Sweating Room


----------



## Blancrocher

*Misidentification Thread*

Hi Everybody! Yes, you read that title correctly--this is The MIS-identification Thread!! This is where, in response to a query, you have to tell us the incorrect title and composer for the provided link. Now, I know this will be difficult for some of you. I've seen Norske identify an obscure 18th-century Venetian hymn just from a single bar recorded in a wind tunnel. At least twice, TalkingHead has identified the composer of a score before it was even composed. Others have performed similar feats.

But all of that is child's play! In this thread, I want you to tell me what a link does NOT provide!

Think that's easy? Well, try to misidentify THIS:






Go ahead! Give it a go! And don't cheat by letting on that you know you're giving us the wrong answer! Say something wrong like you mean it!

MWAHAHAAHA!! TORTURE, ISN'T IT?!!


----------



## Guest

Ha! Well I've seen that film so I really can identify that music. It's The Prodigy with Smack my Bitch Up.


----------



## millionrainbows

Toscannini: Madman or Mad Man?
Brahms: The Infamous "Smell My Beard" Statement
Maria Callas: Could She Really Sing, or was it all just a clever illusion?
Rostopovich's Legendary Wild Night of Vodka and Cello-swinging
Elvis Costello conducts Reger
Running Everything through a BBE Sonic maximizer: One man's experience
The advantages of vinyl in a dust-free concrete bunker
The Boulez Piano Sonatas: Where's One?


----------



## millionrainbows

The "Everything You Know Is Wrong" Thread: Stop by and take some abuse from our local panel of experts
The "No Generalizing Allowed" thread: We must be able to point out exceptions
The "No Specific Statements Allowed" thread: we must be able to say you are generally wrong
The "Right now I'm in my underwear" thead


----------



## Dim7

What medium-sized composers am I grazing?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Continue To Worry About Whether The Ring "Makes Sense"!


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Current Activity Idea:

Modifying Past


----------



## hpowders

The Pope came to the US but disappointingly did not consider me for sainthood.
Which musical selections should I play to cheer me up?
All input welcome.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> The Pope came to the US but disappointingly did not consider me for sainthood.
> Which musical selections should I play to cheer me up?
> All input welcome.


Here 'tis. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Here 'tis. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn


It worked!


----------



## Dim7

What crimes are you currently committing?


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> What crimes are you currently committing?


I'm currently using the Lang Lang recital disk that a friend left at my place as a coaster. I doubt we'll end up in court over it, however.


----------



## sharik

http://www.talkclassical.com/40031-karajan-godlike-genius-mad.html


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> I'm currently using the Lang Lang recital disk that a friend left at my place as a coaster. I doubt we'll end up in court over it, however.


The crime I'm currently committing is a copyright infringement on a pun of yours to use in a STI:

German Composters and Naziism


----------



## Blancrocher

*TC Welcome Thread*

Hi Everybody! I thought it was time we have an official welcoming thread for new members!! Various members (usually mods) often respond to self-introductions in the "New Members - Introductions" area, but lots of people miss out on a formal welcome that way. I want this thread to be COMPREHENSIVE! There's a bit of a backlog at the moment, so give me a little time...

To kick things off, let me give Frederik Magle a heartfelt welcome to the forum! Nice to see you here!


----------



## Dim7

Post(er)s you wish existed


----------



## Dim7

Answer A Thorny Situation With A Corny Line


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

British composers and Thatcherism


----------



## Guest

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> British composers and Thatcherism


That needn't be Stupid; but a legitimate topic. Not that I'd contribute!


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

A thread in which dogen will not contribute


----------



## Guest

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> A thread in which dogen will not contribute


That needn't be Stupid; but a legitimate topic. Not that I'd contribute!


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

dogen said:


> That needn't be Stupid; but a legitimate topic. Not that I'd contribute!


A thread in which dogen will shut up once and for all.


----------



## Guest

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> A thread in which dogen will shut up once and for all.


That needn't....

.... .... oh. ..... ...
ok


----------



## Blancrocher

*New Members Toll Thread*
*
Attention New Members:

You are required to give the author of this thread 20 "likes" in order to gain various forum privileges, such as viewing your own or others' profiles.*

suckers


----------



## Blancrocher

Dear TC Membership, 

I am relinquishing my position of Senior Moderator after numerous years of service, with the hope of being able to have time for various hobbies like listening to music and spending time with my family. I leave with no feelings of bitterness (though, not that you need to know this, several of the moderators here borrowed significant amounts of money from me and refuse to pay it back...not that I blame them or intend to punish them in any way, you understand). ANYWAYS, as a parting gift to the forum, I am starting this thread, which I hope will be the beginning of a long and fruitful conversation between regular members and moderators about the management of this site. Within this thread, I am lifting the ban on comments about members' posting-styles (no infractions will be given, but moderators will be vigilant to be sure that any given post doesn't go too far). Here you may expatiate on any facet of moderation--infractions, post deletions, trolling, swearing, and basically anything that interests you--to your heart's content, with the expectation that a moderator will patiently reply to your concerns. Any example you'd like to discuss may be linked to a passionate defense of political ideals, such as democracy or liberty, even though such conversation is generally prohibited elsewhere in the forum. This thread will go on indefinitely, though I expect it will take a lot of labor to supervise, since no mod, I'm sure, will want to look authoritarian by shutting it down. You're welcome, and bon voyage.


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Blancrocher said:


> *New Members Toll Thread*
> *
> Attention New Members:
> 
> You are required to give the author of this thread 20 "likes" in order to gain various forum privileges, such as viewing your own or others' profiles.*
> 
> suckers


More like *New Members T*r*oll Thread* lol


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Blancrocher said:


> Dear TC Membership,
> 
> I am relinquishing my position of Senior Moderator after numerous years of service, with the hope of being able to have time for various hobbies like listening to music and spending time with my family. I leave with no feelings of bitterness (though, not that you need to know this, several of the moderators here borrowed significant amounts of money from me and refuse to pay it back...not that I blame them or intend to punish them in any way, you understand). ANYWAYS, as a parting gift to the forum, I am starting this thread, which I hope will be the beginning of a long and fruitful conversation between regular members and moderators about the management of this site. Within this thread, I am lifting the ban on comments about members' posting-styles (no infractions will be given, but moderators will be vigilant to be sure that any given post doesn't go too far). Here you may expatiate on any facet of moderation--infractions, post deletions, trolling, swearing, and basically anything that interests you--to your heart's content, with the expectation that a moderator will patiently reply to your concerns. Any example you'd like to discuss may be linked to a passionate defense of political ideals, such as democracy or liberty, even though such conversation is generally prohibited elsewhere in the forum. This thread will go on indefinitely, though I expect it will take a lot of labor to supervise, since no mod, I'm sure, will want to look authoritarian by shutting it down. You're welcome, and bon voyage.


This sounds like a wonderful idea!!!!!! Reading this brought a tear to my eye, a tear of happiness. :')


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Stupid Thread Ideas Vol. II*
Because Stupid Thread Ideas is stretching cyberspace and cybertime with its massive amounts of stupidity, a Vol. II thread is required in order to prevent the creation of a Black Hole of Stupidity. This Black Hole would start by making small changes around the forum - changing Classical Music Discussion to Classical Cud, and changing Krummhorn and Magle's status to Administr8r. Then it would make larger changes - for example all posts by people who joined in 2013 might appear upside-down. Eventually it would make large-scale changes all over the forum - the opera forum would become the "Silly Lollipop People" forum, post counts would increase exponentially, moderators would be unable to post anything except "woof".
Finally, TC would collapse in on itself and only the STI editorial board would remain, ruling supreme over all the others who would remain trapped inside the abyss that used to be Current Listening.


----------



## Dim7

Why do I like Wagner, but not Hitler?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

¡sʇuǝɹɐd ɹnoʎ llǝʇ ll,I ɹo 'ɐʇɐuoSʇɥƃᴉluooW ƃunoʎ 'ǝɔuo ʇɐ ʇɐɥʇ doʇs noʎ 'ʎǝH


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Soon, STI will take its rightful place!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Announcement*
All members who have reached 9,000 posts over the past week must change their username to have an unfortunate acronym. Failure to comply will result in a temporary ban and an instant resetting of post count.
Love,
The Mods


----------



## Dim7

Confuse or misinform a fellow TalkClassical member


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Modr-B-Gone!*
Tired of infraction points? Sick of the ToS? Does the phrase "closed for repairs" make you see red (and not just red text!)?
_Then Mod-B-Gone is for you!_
One spray on your screen will give you instant immunity from warnings and infractions, and give you the magical ability to post on closed threads! Gone are the days when you had to edit away those ad homs! Gone are the days of "thread closed"!
Mod-B-Gone can be yours for only $1000*!

*per 10ml. Effectiveness not guaranteed. No refunds. Terms and conditions apply.


----------



## Dim7

*Finnish Composers and Centrism*

The initial posts in this thread were originally in the thread, "Esa-Pekka Salonen: Humanlike Everyman or sane neurotypical." These posts were moved to this areas because of the political content.


m7b5: Lol Sibbe's tunes are so lukewarm, I bet he would vote for the Centre Party of Finland if he were alive today.

Stonegoose: A cover of (unfunny) humor doesn't make careless attributions of Centrism any less repugnant. Sibelius was a fanatic advocate of extreme politics throughout his life and would correctly have considered Matti Vanhanen a moderate bore. The association of Sibelius with Centrism comes from the fact that he did indeed switch sides during his life - he was alternatively either an anarcho-communist or a totalitarian fascist. This is used against Sibelius by quoting him during different periods of his life to give an impression that he advocated some kind of compromise between right and left. This is totally false. When he advocated one side, he did not do so half-heartedly.

Squarthazar: The political views of Sibelius seemed to be at best fluid or baldly opportunistic. If he'd find some Centrist patrons he might advocate Centrism today. But it's just speculation. People change - we simply cannot make any conclusions what his politics might be today from his early 20th century political views.


----------



## Blancrocher

*TC Medical Diagnosis Thread*

Yes, that's right!! This is the thread where the anonymous, mostly strictly amateur medical and psychiatric cognoscenti of TC can supply helpful diagnoses for the ailments of other members. You can only listen to music in the dark? Gfhaassian disorder. You don't realize when you're listening to multiple songs at once because you've got too many browsers open? Schnittkinesthesia. You post regularly in the audiophile subforum? You, my friend, are clinically insane! That's right!! Come here to get or supply medical diagnoses anytime!!

And don't worry: I'm sure the pharmaceutical industry will market drugs to combat the new conditions we discover before too long.


----------



## Guest

Compost and thatcherism. Which is best for the roses?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> Compost and thatcherism. Which is best for the roses?


Thatcherism is fantastic for roses, being a pile of pure bulls*** (sorry, that wasn't a subtle response, was it?)


----------



## arpeggio

*Johnson Posts*

I have the following problems with Johnson's Posts:

One, they are so long winded I do not have the time to read them.

Two, when I take the time to read them I do not understand them.

Three, when I think I understand them, Johnson tells me I am wrong.


----------



## antoniolopes

Is it true that Bruckner only composed 9 symphonies but there are 9 different editions of his tenth?


----------



## hpowders

Newbie with a complaint:

I left a personal message for Brahms in his composer guestbook, but posters are answering my message instead.
Can someone please tell me which moderator is best at handling this kind of situation?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Newbie with a complaint:
> 
> I left a personal message for Brahms in his composer guestbook, but posters are answering my message instead.
> Can someone please tell me which moderator is best at handling this kind of situation?


I'm afraid that Brahms has been given a temporary ban after an incident with Tchaikovsky.


----------



## hpowders

Racially pure newbie here needs some help:

I see Notung about Die Walküre here and want to start a new thread, "The Nazis and Wagner's Music".
How do you start a new thread?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which is your favorite salonen: wild or sockeye?

Explain your choice, but please conduct yourselves in a civilized manner.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Racially pure newbie here needs some help:
> 
> I see Notung about Die Walküre here and want to start a new thread, "The Nazis and Wagner's Music".
> How do you start a new thread?


Easy. There's a whole sub-forum for that stuff: Heil Opera.


----------



## Blancrocher

This post has not been edited.


----------



## Dim7

Not true.


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> Not true.


That's a pretty bold accusation to make, Dim7.


----------



## hpowders

Club 51: Members Only:

If nobody "likes" a post of mine, why can't I self-like it? I do this on Facebook and it boosts my self-esteem.
Why can't it be done here too?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Moo Chord. Yes or No?*


----------



## Dr Johnson

MoonlightSonata said:


> *The Moo Chord. Yes or No?*


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dr Johnson said:


>












Onions are a superior form of gravity.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Club 51: Members Only:
> 
> If nobody "likes" a post of mine, why can't I self-like it? I do this on Facebook and it boosts my self-esteem.
> Why can't it be done here too?


Because you'd get a RSI.


----------



## Guest

Composers you wish had more legs.


----------



## Balthazar

MoonlightSonata said:


> View attachment 75937
> 
> 
> 
> Onions are a superior form of gravity.


I especially liked MS's hidden commentary on this one.


----------



## Balthazar

*Least favourite Thread thread*

Which one really gets your goat?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Balthazar said:


> I especially liked MS's hidden commentary on this one.


I wondered if anyone would find that.


----------



## Guest

I just hold my phone up to a bright light.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

_Music Theory threads:_

Poll: *August vs. December*

Favourite non-Indian, non-American Danish muffin

who was the most influential musical troll of the 20th century


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> I just hold my phone up to a bright light.


I thought that only worked for white text. Maybe your light has special revealing powers not found in New Zealand light?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> I thought that only worked for white text. Maybe your light has special revealing powers not found in New Zealand light?


Sorry for the confusion; my post wasn't in reference to hidden text, I was just saying what I like to do with my phone.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> Sorry for the confusion; my post wasn't in reference to hidden text, I was just saying what I like to do with my phone.


What an unusual leisure activity - is there a phone-illuminating subculture of which I am unaware?


----------



## Balthazar

^ I hear it's pretty popular on Thursday nights in Finland.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Spaniel Music


----------



## Dim7

Your favorite Top 10 list haters


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpotter42 and the Moderator's Password

hpotter42 thought he was a normal TCer, but one day he receives a fateful PM from an anonymous user: "You're a moderator, hpotter42". 
hpotter42 is removed from his home in the quiet ballet forum, and whisked away to the mysterious Moderator Training School, where he receives friend requests from "redhead228" and "Hermione Granger". Soon, he learns of a mysterious plot to steal an ancient password, hidden deep within the website. hpotter42 must battle the administrator-turned-troll DarkLord, who permanently banned his parents.


----------



## Dim7

In a few words, what is your "role" at those secret Thursday meetings (please ignore if you don't know what I'm talking about)?


----------



## Dim7

Post a clip of you sneezing


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Post a clip of you....actually I won't go there (MoonlightSonata is far too young)


----------



## hpowders

"The last poster on TC sat at his computer after the bomb dropped. Suddenly there was a knock at the door....."

Help needed: Who wrote that short story introduction?


----------



## arpeggio

*Poll: Alan Hovhaness Symphonies*

Hovhaness composed 67 numbered symphonies. Which one is the greatest?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> What an unusual leisure activity - is there a phone-illuminating subculture of which I am unaware?


It's very zen .


----------



## joen_cph

Classical music inspired by pandas.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Poll:* Favourite Segerstam Symphonies? (vote for 50-80)


----------



## joen_cph

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Poll:* Favourite Segerstam Symphonies? (vote for 50-80)


You know, true Segerstam fans will find that voting limit too restrictive ;-)


----------



## joen_cph

Beans and classical music.


----------



## Guest

Aleatory music and flatulence.


----------



## Polyphemus

For the English Rugby supporters.

Goodbye sweet chariot.
Come back again in four years.

Nice to see the English fans observing the silence rule when penalties or conversions are being taken. They exhibited the same disgraceful bad sportsmanship when Bigger was kicking for Wales.


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Poll: Greatest composer born in the 21st century. 

By ArtMusic


----------



## MoonlightSonata

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Poll: Greatest composer born in the 21st century.
> 
> By ArtMusic


-Alma Deutscher
-A. Deutscher
-Alma Elizabeth Deutscher
-A. E. Deutscher
-Alma E. Deutscher
-Deutscher
-MoonlightSonata


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

I finally managed to brake it!!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Oh dear...


----------



## Dim7

In a few words, what the **** is wrong with you?


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Richannes Wrahms said:


> ...


lol 

lololololololololol


----------



## Dim7

Do drinking water and liking classical music go together?


----------



## Krummhorn

thread temporarily closed to evaluate viewing problem


----------



## Frederik Magle

Richannes Wrahms said:


> I finally managed to brake it!!!


Indeed you did. Thanks for discovering the bug in the vbulletin software, I'll make sure to report it to the software developers.

Oh, and don't do it again!


----------



## Frederik Magle

I'm reopening the thread, on the condition that no-one will deliberately try to break the forum software again (or it will be the last thing they ever do on Talk Classical )...


----------



## hpowders

Name things you are more passionate for than classical music.

Post one: I will start things off. For example when presented with a choice of a ripe bañana*
or a Bruckner symphony, I will choose the bañana every time.

(A bañana is a Spanish banana.)


----------



## Dim7

Music never


----------



## TurnaboutVox

*Schumann's 'Kreisleriana' played on a washboard and a trombone*

*Beethoven's Piano trios played by a tortoise, a leopard and Angela Merkel*

If anyone can suggest a recording of such, I'll be very grateful...


----------



## Dr Johnson

@hpowders:

Until I have had the opportunity to try a "bañana" (as opposed to the more mundane banana we are used to in the UK) I could not say.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TurnaboutVox said:


> *Schumann's 'Kreisleriana' played on a washboard and a trombone*
> 
> *Beethoven's Piano trios played by a tortoise, a leopard and Angela Merkel*
> 
> If anyone can suggest a recording of such, I'll be very grateful...


If you like recordings with big cats, nothing beats Cage's Roaratorio arranged for 23 lions.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TurnaboutVox said:


> *Beethoven's Piano trios played by a tortoise, a leopard and Angela Merkel*





MoonlightSonata said:


> If you like recordings with big cats, nothing beats Cage's Roaratorio arranged for 23 lions.


Sorry, you'd have to find some way of ensuring Frau Merkel's safety as well. I'm guessing the tortoise can probably fend for itself.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TurnaboutVox said:


> Sorry, you'd have to find some way of ensuring Frau Merkel's safety as well. I'm guessing the tortoise can probably fend for itself.


I'm sure the leopard could look after her.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> @hpowders:
> 
> Until I have had the opportunity to try a "bañana" (as opposed to the more mundane banana we are used to in the UK) I could not say.


I have an idea: Why don't you sample a bañana, mañana and get back to me?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I have an idea: Why don't you sample a bañana, mañana and get back to me?


Retruécanos Dolorosos en Espanglish


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Retruécanos Dolorosos en Espanglish


Heth heth heth? Heth heth heth heth heth. Boule.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> I have an idea: Why don't you sample a bañana, mañana and get back to me?


But where will I find a bañana, mañana or any other day?


----------



## Dim7

Answer A Post With A Post


----------



## Guest

Answer an alveolar ejective with a diphthong.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

I am the only one who gets aroused with breathing noise in a classical music?


----------



## hpowders

Do I get a pension or something?

Post #1: Hi. I just got 100 posts and notice I am now a senior member. I hope this isn't a stupid thread idea, but do I get monetary compensation for achieving this and if so, does the award go up as my post count increases?
Nice to meet you all, by the way. I have other good questions too.


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Notification Idea:

√-1 Unreal Private Massages


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Stupid Notification Idea:
> 
> √-1 Unreal Private Massages


You're imagining things, i think.


----------



## Dim7

Britney Spears is too sophisticated, Justin Bieber too stupid


----------



## Dim7

Stop worrying whether my arguments make any sense!


----------



## Blancrocher

Sacred music that titillates?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Britney Spears is too sophisticated, Justin Bieber too stupid


You're half-right.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> Answer an alveolar ejective with a diphthong.


Come now, that's not nearly specific enough. What are the vowels in the diphthong? Is it an unrounded front central vowel followed by a close front unrounded vowel? Or is it the close-mid back rounded vowel followed by the near-close near-back one? Or something else entirely? Perhaps something unusual, to match the alveolar ejective, which is of course not found in English?


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> But where will I find a bañana, mañana or any other day?


No problem. Enter Harrods through the main entrance. Go past the 14k gold CD sets of The Compleat Maria Callas Collection, about 40 paces on your left; turn right and you will immediately encounter an assortment of fresh Tiger Prawns. Another 10 paces and you should find the bañana section. Hint: they just might be labeled "plantains".


----------



## Vaneyes

"Yes we have no plantains today"


----------



## hpowders

My plantain always showed signs of life when Miss Carmen was singing and wiggling in her prime.


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> My plantain always showed signs of life when Miss Carmen was singing and wiggling in her prime.


That's the beauty of Blu-ray and Blue-pill.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Scared Music that Terrifies


----------



## Blancrocher

*Greatest Composers Opinion Poll*

Hi Everybody! We've had a lot of threads about who you think the great composers are, ranked them in ability, and debated the merits of various of their works. This thread is different! In THIS thread, I want to know what you think THEY think of YOU! That's right!! I want to think about what J.S. Bach, Frédéric Chopin, Claude Debussy, Iannis Xenakis, John Adams, or any other genius composer thinks about the residents of Talk Classical! I've made this a poll, but feel free to post detailed replies.

A. Never heard of you. 
B. You're an idiot. 
C. Oh, wow--YOU post on an anonymous music forum?! I'm impressed. 
D. Can you go get me a glass of wine. 
E. Other.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Blancrocher said:


> *Greatest Composers Opinion Poll*
> 
> Hi Everybody! We've had a lot of threads about who you think the great composers are, ranked them in ability, and debated the merits of various of their works. This thread is different! In THIS thread, I want to know what you think THEY think of YOU! That's right!! I want to think about what J.S. Bach, Frédéric Chopin, Claude Debussy, Iannis Xenakis, John Adams, or any other genius composer thinks about the residents of Talk Classical! I've made this a poll, but feel free to post detailed replies.
> 
> A. Never heard of you.
> B. You're an idiot.
> C. Oh, wow--YOU post on an anonymous music forum?! I'm impressed.
> D. Can you go get me a glass of wine.
> E. Other.


E. Other:
"Excuse me, some of us are trying to be dead!"


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> That's the beauty of Blu-ray and Blue-pill.


I remember her "live". Blu-Ray is for wimps.


----------



## hpowders

Community Forum: Mental Health Section:

I have some serious reservations and questions about Wagner's Ring, but I can't ever articulate these thoughts. I think I'm afraid to ask anyone.
Does anyone know the name of a good psychiatrist in the Nottingham Forest area who can work with me on this?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Come now, that's not nearly specific enough. What are the vowels in the diphthong? Is it an unrounded front central vowel followed by a close front unrounded vowel? Or is it the close-mid back rounded vowel followed by the near-close near-back one? Or something else entirely? Perhaps something unusual, to match the alveolar ejective, which is of course not found in English?


I was thinking something like a grunt.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> I was thinking something like a grunt.


A grunt after an alveolar ejective might sound like you were about to vomit...


----------



## Dr Johnson

The Top 10 Lists of lists of things to do with Classical Music.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 100 TC Recommended Dada-Inspired Premonitions


----------



## Dr Johnson

The Top 10 Premonitions of lists that might be made about Classical Music.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 10 lists of lists of things to do with Dada


----------



## Dr Johnson

Top 10 Dadas to do with lists.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Inspired Classical Premonitions


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> A grunt after an alveolar ejective might sound like you were about to vomit...


That's the one then.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Lists of lists of lists of lists of lists of lists of lists....................


----------



## Dr Johnson

Bruckner vs Wagner: who would finish first in a 5 furlong sprint at Sandown?


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> Bruckner vs Wagner: who would finish first in a 5 furlong sprint at Sandown?


It would be a tie for last.


----------



## Guest

Bullet points of lists.


----------



## Dim7

Attracting more babies to enjoy opera


----------



## Guest

Uplifting music that depresses.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> When we try to make people listen to classical music, what do we usually do? Almost invariably we say something like "You should listen to classical music because rock is satanic degenerate music. Classical is better for you because it's much more refined and healthy for the soul." This kind of intolerant aggressive condescension doesn't work!
> 
> Much better approach is to first recommend them some classical, and if they tell you that they are not interested, you should say "Ah, I guess you're right, you should stick to popular music. Classical music is difficult, and I'm not sure you have the brai... certain qualities required to comprehend it. For me classical music is great, but you should not force yourself to appreciate something that is too refin... I mean something that is just not your cup of tea." These were the exact words I said to my friends who used to hate classical music, and guess what - they now attend every concert I invite them to! They still have a lot of problems staying awake, but since classical isn't really supposed to be fun in the first place, it's understandable for beginners.


Plus, it's too sophisticated.


----------



## Dim7

Attracting more sane people to Talk Nonsense


----------



## Dr Johnson

Lists of sane people on TC.


----------



## hpowders

Is this all just one big cliquish popularity contest?

Post no.1: I'm a newbie here but have noticed the same posters keep getting the same people "liking" their posts all the time, no matter what they write. My stupid thread idea is what's the point of having "likes"?


----------



## Polyphemus

Heres another pointless 'like', just for you. LMAO

:devil: :devil:


----------



## Vesteralen

Could we have a selection: "I don't like you, but I like your post" / "I like you, but I don't like your post" / "I'm ambivalent about you and your post" / "You go, buddy!" / "I like myself" / "I don't like myself, but I like my post" ?


----------



## Dim7

"I don't like you, but I like your post" would be especially useful.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which requires greater human endurance? Participating on an English Rugby team or defending one's point of view that Wagner was an anti-semite and it's NOT the music that really matters, but simple human decency, on a TC Wagner thread?
Note: This hair is a pubic poll and all TC members can see your vote.


----------



## Polyphemus

Well Wagner was an A H, and the English Rugby team is proof positive that aspiration is no substitute for talent.

So my choice for the poll is that Sibelius 3rd Symphony is really underrated.


----------



## arpeggio

Is Willy Nelson a great opera singer?


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> Is Willy Nelson a great opera singer?


All I know is :

You're my buddy, my pal, my friend.

It will be that way until the end.


----------



## Dr Johnson

I would like a "Ooh you are awful, but I like you" button.

Thank you.


----------



## Vaneyes

Ward Kimball, an animator for Disney Studios, said, "Walt Disney didn't trust women or cats."

TC thread poll (one choice for each category): I think women are trustworthy; I don't think women are trustworthy; I think cats are trustworthy; I don't think cats are trustworthy.


----------



## Figleaf

arpeggio said:


> Is Willy Nelson a great opera singer?


With those long plaits, he'd look great as a Wagnerian heroine- but operatic cross dressing gives me the Willies.


----------



## Vaneyes

Dr Johnson said:


> Bruckner vs Wagner: who would finish first in a 5 furlong sprint at Sandown?


Vogner by a nose.


----------



## hpowders

A new book on Beethoven reveals he hated all English-speaking people. Would this knowledge force you to cut down on your Beethoven CD purchases and would you be russian to get more Tchaikovsky instead to pick up the slack?


----------



## science

hpowders said:


> A new book on Beethoven reveals he hated all English-speaking people. Would this knowledge force you to cut down on your Beethoven CD purchases and would you be russian to get more Tchaikovsky instead to pick up the slack?


I see what you did there.


----------



## hpowders

science said:


> I see what you did there.


 Few others do. They usually need to consult a libretto after one of my posts.


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> A new book on *Beethoven* reveals he *hated all English-speaking people*. Would this knowledge force you to cut down on your Beethoven CD purchases and would you be russian to get more Tchaikovsky instead to pick up the slack?


LvB might be okay with, "Your papers, please!" As long as the accent was thick enough.

I've increased my LvB CD purchases, and sternly edited the liner notes in favor of.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie to CM here. So far all the CD's in "The 1113 Greatest Classical Selections" I find very relaxing. So how long did you say it would take before I find this crap exciting?


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Newbie to CM here. So far all the CD's in "The 1113 Greatest Classical Selections" I find very relaxing. So how long did you say it would take before I find this crap exciting?


Please check with your medical team and your undertaker.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Vaneyes said:


> Vogner by a nose.


Possibly, although I believe it would depend on the going (heavy).


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Newbie to CM here. So far all the CD's in "The 1113 Greatest Classical Selections" *I find very relaxing. So how long did you say it would take before I find this crap exciting?*


It's totally dependent on Valium, then Viagra.


----------



## Vaneyes

Dr Johnson said:


> Possibly, although I believe it would depend on the going (heavy).


Yes, sloppy-like track condition.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Vaneyes said:


> It's totally dependent on Valium, then *Viagra.*


"Madam, in the morning I will have detumesced, but you will still be red in the face."


----------



## Dim7

Embarrasing Thread Ideas


----------



## MoonlightSonata

The "Try to Work Out the Colour of the Background And Colour Your Text Precisely That Colour" Thread

(I'm not quite there yet I don't think)


----------



## Dim7

The Right of Self-Bondage: What If A Member Ties His Own Hands?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

If Composers were Warships


----------



## arpeggio

They closed down my "leave of absence" thread. 

What am I going to do the next time I want to threaten to leave? :scold:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

arpeggio said:


> They closed down my "leave of absence" thread.
> 
> What am I going to do the next time I want to threaten to leave? :scold:


"Leave of Absence Vol. II" - after all, it worked for Current Listening *

*Please don't leave us again though!


----------



## Dr Johnson

Leave of Absence, The Movie.

Leave of Absence, The Musical.

Leave of Absence, The Opera.


----------



## Guest

Poll:

What is the best place to Threaten To Leave?

- Community Forum - so it can go wildly off topic

- Announcements - if you think you're somebody of stature

- Woodwind and Brass - because you're all hot air

- Articles - so you can go into great detail

- Movie Corner - let's face it, your announcement is a work of fiction

- Opera - so you can get over-emotional

- Religion & Politics - because you've had a Vision calling you away / you're sick of the Nazi ideology


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> Leave of Absence, The Movie.


Leave of Absence, The Movie II "Coming back with my tail between my legs."


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> Poll:
> 
> What is the best place to Threaten To Leave?
> 
> - Community Forum - so it can go wildly off topic
> 
> - Announcements - if you think you're somebody of stature
> 
> - Woodwind and Brass - because you're all hot air
> 
> - Articles - so you can go into great detail
> 
> - Movie Corner - let's face it, your announcement is a work of fiction
> 
> - Opera - so you can get over-emotional
> 
> - Religion & Politics - because you've had a Vision calling you away / you're sick of the Nazi ideology


- Area 51 - because you're an alien


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Effect of Current Listening on Likes Received*


----------



## Dim7

People You Wish Happened And Recurred


----------



## Polyphemus

Dim7 said:


> People You Wish Happened And Recurred


William Marshall


----------



## arpeggio

Abraham Lincoln said:


> If Composers were Warships


If Beethoven is a battleship what would Schoenberg be?

Note: This may be a great thread on its own we can have fun with.


----------



## Dim7

Random words and phrases that don't deserve a whole sentence to themselves


----------



## Guest

Nation. All hands to the deck. Affinity.


----------



## Dim7

List of relaxing STIs (whichever meaning)


----------



## hpowders

Site Feedback:

I am proposing that TC limit itself to one new Wagner/Nazi thread a month to put a reasonable limit on the emotional Führer these threads predictably produce.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Site Feedback:
> 
> I am proposing that TC limit itself to one new Wagner/Nazi thread a month to put a reasonable limit on the emotional Führer these threads predictably produce.


I think we should just *concentrate* them on their own subforum, from where they hopefully can't have any negative influence on the rest of the boards.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Site Feedback:
> 
> I am proposing that TC limit itself to one new Wagner/Nazi thread a month to put a reasonable limit on the emotional Führer these threads predictably produce.


What is a Wagner Nazi? Is it something like the Wagner tuba?


----------



## Dim7

Why didn't Stravinsky like anachronistic thread ideas?


----------



## Vesteralen

Who was the greatest composer for the tuba?

Who was the greatest impresario?

Who was the greatest person to think Bach was the greatest composer?

Who was the greatest poster to use the word "greatest" in the greatest thread ever?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dear Members,
It has come to our attention that several members have been trying to circumvent the automatic censor.
This is unacceptable. We can't have "naughty words" clogging the forums.
To stop this problem, we have created a thread with the censor turned off. You may use whatever words you like in this thread!
Love,
The Mods


----------



## Blancrocher

*Dumb Thread Ideas*

Post your dumb thread ideas here, please.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Blancrocher said:


> *Dumb Thread Ideas*
> 
> Post your dumb thread ideas here, please.


We already have a thread for that...


----------



## science

Vesteralen said:


> Who was the greatest composer for the tuba?


That does not strike me as stupid!


----------



## Mahlerian

Talk Cliche: Hot off the presses, this area is more fun than a barrel of monkeys. String together timeworn bits of wisdom and make 'em rain like cats and dogs. But don't forget, the early bird gets the worm, so hop in soon!


----------



## Vaneyes

Performer preference for imbibing (alcohol) on the day of a concert: Pre-concert; During concert; Post-concert; All of the above.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

arpeggio said:


> If Beethoven is a battleship what would Schoenberg be?
> 
> Note: This may be a great thread on its own we can have fun with.


Schoenberg would be one of those weird experimental ships. I personally think Beethoven would be an aircraft carrier though, because he started the Romantic era, and carriers revolutionized naval warfare. Then I think Vivaldi would be a WWI antique, and Chopin would be a destroyer with perpetual leaking issues


----------



## KenOC

Abraham Lincoln said:


> I personally think Beethoven would be an aircraft carrier though, because he started the Romantic era...


Beethoven is Nimitz-class! 100 thousand long tons displacement. When he enters the Mediterranean, the water rises enough to leave a ring around the Vatican.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Schubert would be a yacht with cannons - seemingly simple, but actually very powerful.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Beethoven* started life as a battleship, but got messily converted to an aircraft carrier. This poor conversion led to a lot of design flaws in the ship such as boiler complications and a constantly failing communication system. Despite all these imperfections, Beethoven managed to become one of the most decorated fighting ships in composer warship history, earning a reputation for being unsinkable, as well as being one of the key players in revolutionizing naval warfare by showing the world that the its future lay in the hands of the carriers.. However, she was suddenly damaged in some way during a violent thunderstorm. Even though the crew gave up on saving her and made the tough decision to abandon ship, it was still days before Beethoven finally sank. Before the celebrated ship went down, her anti-aircraft guns went off in a final salvo (most likely due to an internal explosion). It seemed as if she was shaking her fist at fate.

*Handel* was a super battleship, the largest ever constructed, so large and luxurious that she even had an onboard five-star restaurant. It was no surprise that she expended almost unreasonably ridiculous amounts of fuel and ammunition. She was later transferred to the Royal Navy.

*Bach* was an outdated old dreadnought that saw much action in earlier wars. Like Beethoven, she had a ton of decorations. Her captain also authored several naval warfare strategy books which future generations would read to learn about the various tactics of winning different kinds of naval battles. When she was decommissioned and scrapped, a lot of her parts were re-used in building twenty newer, state-of-the-art warships of varying types, two of which would become famous and celebrated themselves.

When Bach was decommissioned, she went out of popularity and her captain's books went mostly unread until the captain of the Hensel-class anti-aircraft light cruiser *Mendelssohn* discovered them one day and made his sailors read them. Soon, the strategy books became a popular read among all the people in the Navy. Later, Mendelssohn and her sister ship Hensel were caught in a freak bombing attack by the enemy. Hensel sunk almost instantly, and Mendelssohn was left listing terribly and dead in the water. Efforts made to save Mendelssohn were in vain and she was soon scuttled by the destroyer Schumann.

You know what, this should really be a thread. x'D


----------



## Dim7

Composers as battleships? Sorry, that would be just too silly for an actual thread.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Composers' hats.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Inside Out - Composers Edition

Composer Café - Like a cat café, only you hang out and interact with composers instead of cats.

What composer was most like Disgust from Inside Out?

Is that line below Bach's chin on the Hausmann portrait a double chin or just his neck?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> We already have a thread for that...


We do? Where's that then???


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> We do? Where's that then???


Here it is.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Composers as battleships? Sorry, that would be just too silly for an actual thread.


So, do I make this thread or not?

I'll throw in an unrelated idea: Which composers correspond best to each emotion in Inside Out?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Here it is.


Well, how could I have missed that??


----------



## Guest

RE: "Is ________ a Great Composer?": Suggest New Poll Options!

Popular choices include:
- "Yes, Except When He's Not"
- "Yes, If Not As Great As The Great Composers Of The Great 21st Century"
- "No, That's My Mailman's Name"
- "I Would Rather Surf Maria Callas Gossip Sites Than Answer This Question"


----------



## Dim7

If you could "trade" a currently active TC member for one that has left, which members would you choose?


----------



## Dr Johnson

One composer to find them, and in the darkness bind them....


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> If you could "trade" a currently active TC member for one that has left, which members would you choose?


Don't tempt me, Dim7! I dare not respond to this thread.

I would use this thread, with a desire to do good. But through me... it would wield a power too terrible to imagine.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> If you could "trade" a currently active TC member for one that has left, which members would you choose?


Does that fact that I can immediately think of three such trades make me a bad person?


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> Does that fact that I can immediately think of three such trades make me a bad person?


We can't judge until you give us the details.


----------



## Dim7

ONE composer for the next 0,000001 seconds of your life


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> One composer to find them, and in the darkness bind them....


That's enough claret now.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

dogen said:


> We can't judge until you give us the details.


I'll only give you the details if you promise to trade someone else for me after I've been banned.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Does that fact that I can immediately think of three such trades make me a bad person?


Yes! And leave Dim, dog and Dr J alone!


----------



## Dr Johnson

What is needed here is another list. Obviously.

Definitely.


----------



## Guest

MoonlightSonata said:


> I'll only give you the details if you promise to trade someone else for me after I've been banned.


You can trust me.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TurnaboutVox said:


> Yes! And leave Dim, dog and Dr J alone!


:lol: No, I wouldn't trade away three Stupid Thread artists - the art form might die out!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Which composer would you go on a date with?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Guess the posters by their signature phrases or frequently used words. I'm sure you old members can develop this way better than me.

some _relatively _easy takes:

'pure and simple'
'Von Heute auf Morgen'
'westerners'
'Glazunov'
'Wagner'
'Ligeti'
'French Baroque'


----------



## SeptimalTritone

'condescension'
'bores me to tears'
'I write stuff in white letters all the time and I like Medieval music and souls don't exist.'
'ex cathedra'
'Karkowski and Merzbow'
'minor seventh = 16:9, major seventh = 15:8'
'effeminate'
't'aint so!'
'social construct'
'just a mere child'
'closed for repairs'
'killed a baby seal'
'baited into getting an infraction'
'vote for as many of these as you like'


----------



## Blancrocher

How about "*****"?


----------



## Figleaf

Blancrocher said:


> How about "*****"?


" How about f*cks?" belongs in the "Worst chatup line of all time" thread.


----------



## Guest

SeptimalTritone said:


> 'condescension'
> 'bores me to tears'
> 'I write stuff in white letters all the time and I like Medieval music and souls don't exist.'
> 'ex cathedra'
> 'Karkowski and Merzbow'
> 'minor seventh = 16:9, major seventh = 15:8'
> 'effeminate'
> 't'aint so!'
> 'social construct'
> 'just a mere child'
> 'closed for repairs'
> 'killed a baby seal'
> 'baited into getting an infraction'
> 'vote for as many of these as you like'


Hey, that was mean


----------



## SeptimalTritone

nathanb said:


> Hey, that was mean


I earnestly love you nathanb. Perhaps I went over the top.


----------



## Guest

SeptimalTritone said:


> I earnestly love you nathanb. Perhaps I went over the top.


It's chill, brah. Love = truth. I only wish I could be associated with something delightful, like harmonic ratios.


----------



## Dim7

*Most oddly rated works/composers*

What works or composers are esteemed for really bizarre reasons? For instance, if some music is highly rated for effectively communicating with mushrooms, that would be a strange reason.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Are all track and field athletes on the moon?

Callas: At Home and Visiting her Friends and Going to a Restaurant and Going Back Home and Going to Bed and Waking Up and...

Stupefied Thread Ideas

Is Aram Khachaturian a Great Compost?


----------



## Dim7

Top 10 Greatest (Com)(pos)(t)ers

Post a top 10 list of things that are either composers, composters, posers or posters.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Top 10 Greatest (Com)(pos)(t)ers
> 
> Post a top 10 list of things that are either composers, composters, posers or posters.


Mamoru Samuragochi for com-poser. XD

I really want to make a thread for Symphonia, an up-and-coming artbook currently in its conceptual stage (and anyone can contribute as they wish), centred around cute girl versions of composers. Might anyone be interested (in contributing, that is)? Sorry if it's advertising.

Also:

Newsflash: Tchaikovsky poisoned by Antonio Salieri
Classical music to throw up to
Poll: Do you think Bach throws up too much?
Scriabin ate cacti and other dumb things you wish the composers did
Which composer would you vote for President?
Composer Café. Get your lunch served by Mendelssohn, chat with Mozart over coffee and cake, listen to a live performance conducted by Beethoven, and please do not feed Handel. He is on a diet.


----------



## Guest

Condiment jars of the Great.


----------



## aleazk

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Guess the posters by their signature phrases or frequently used words. I'm sure you old members can develop this way better than me.
> 
> some _relatively _easy takes:
> 
> 'pure and simple' - ArtMusic
> 'Von Heute auf Morgen' - Woodduck?
> 'westerners' - no clue
> 'Glazunov' - Huilli(fill the rest!)
> 'Wagner' - Couchie
> 'Ligeti' - Me
> 'French Baroque' - Ingelou


...........................................


----------



## aleazk

Kill someone and share the pictures!

Can a fart be considered music if that's the intention of the "composer/performer" of this piece?

Why was Debussy so busy?

Would Tchaikovsky be a transgender today with all the new technology?

Why are Ligeti's lips so big?

Was Milton Babbitt The Master of the Universe?

Hi, I present my new avant garde piece; it's based on a net of non-commutative C*-algebras where the indexs are open sets of a Hausdorff connected differentiable manifold with Lorentz metric. The idea was to represent existential anguish. Enjoy!


----------



## Dim7

westeners - sharik


----------



## joen_cph

aleazk said:


> Kill someone and share the pictures!
> 
> Can a fart be considered music if that's the intention of the "composer/performer" of this piece?
> 
> Why was Debussy so busy?
> 
> Would Tchaikovsky be a transgender today with all the new technology?
> 
> Why are Ligeti's lips so big?
> 
> Was Milton Babbitt The Master of the Universe?
> 
> Hi, I present my new avant garde piece; it's based on a net of non-commutative C*-algebras where the indexs are open sets of a Hausdorff connected differentiable manifold with Lorentz metric. The idea was to represent existential anguish. Enjoy!


That´s a broad range of ideas.


----------



## aleazk

joen_cph said:


> That´s a broad range of ideas.


I like to keep my stupidity wide.


----------



## Guest

I see Aleazk is back. All hail The Physicist-Composer! On your knees, all of you, now!


----------



## joen_cph

(..............deleted)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

SeptimalTritone said:


> 'condescension'
> 'bores me to tears'
> 'I write stuff in white letters all the time and I like Medieval music and souls don't exist.'
> 'ex cathedra'
> 'Karkowski and Merzbow'
> 'minor seventh = 16:9, major seventh = 15:8'
> 'effeminate'
> 't'aint so!'
> 'social construct'
> 'just a mere child'
> 'closed for repairs'
> 'killed a baby seal'
> 'baited into getting an infraction'
> 'vote for as many of these as you like'


condescension - science?
effeminate - Dim7
social construct - Albert7
just a mere child - me
closed for repairs - any one of a number of moderators
baited into getting an infraction - nathanb?
vote for as many of these as you like - Nereffid

Don't know about the others.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

'I'm planning to release an artbook' - me probably

Five Nights at Georges Bizet's - All the Toreador Marches you can listen to

Composers as cats

Why was Schubert a mushroom?

Composer OTPs

Pretend to be a composer

People you wish were composers

John Cage's 4'33" - Cover

Photoshopping Shostakovich's glasses onto people's faces

Top 10 Liszts


----------



## Dim7

If you could kill one living composer....


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*Isn't x an Awful Composer?*


----------



## aleazk

SeptimalTritone said:


> 'condescension'
> 'bores me to tears'
> 'I write stuff in white letters all the time and I like Medieval music and souls don't exist.'
> 'ex cathedra'
> 'Karkowski and Merzbow'
> 'minor seventh = 16:9, major seventh = 15:8'
> 'effeminate'
> 't'aint so!'
> 'social construct'
> 'just a mere child'
> 'closed for repairs'
> 'killed a baby seal'
> 'baited into getting an infraction'
> 'vote for as many of these as you like'


'I write stuff in white letters all the time and I like Medieval music and souls don't exist.' - Richannes

'ex cathedra' - MarshalinBlair

'Karkowski and Merzbow' - some guy or septimal?

'minor seventh = 16:9, major seventh = 15:8' - millionrainbows


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dear Members, 
We understand that there have been some criticisms recently of the way the forum is run. It is our belief that you simply don't realise how difficult this moderating business is. To remedy this, we have decided that each member shall spend one day as an administrator, and over the course of those 24 hours may run the forum as he/she pleases, starting with Dim7.
Lots of love and hugs,
The Mods xxxx


----------



## Dim7

Culling all pagans


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln is a terrible composer


----------



## SeptimalTritone

aleazk said:


> 'I write stuff in white letters all the time and I like Medieval music and souls don't exist.' - Richannes
> 
> 'ex cathedra' - MarshalinBlair
> 
> 'Karkowski and Merzbow' - some guy or septimal?
> 
> 'minor seventh = 16:9, major seventh = 15:8' - millionrainbows


I don't actually like Karkowski and Merzbow. I just pretend to like them so that people think I'm modern. In fact, I've pretended to like a lot of modern music out of my own insecurities.

Well.... maybe not. Merzbow's 1930 is okay. But I honestly think that the noise genre is often quite... thin. It's just a few 'channels' of noise that's loud, but not necessarily complex. And of course, not everything needs to be complex, but I just don't like the combination of loud and simple. I just don't like the noise genre. Okay I do like Xenakis a lot, in fact a whole lot and I love Bohor and Persepolis and La Legende D'eer, but the noise people afterwards...

A few hints for the less obvious people:

't'aint so!' = 're-education camps'
'killed a baby seal' = 'decay of the moral fabric of society'

And a few other people:

'sugary pastry with no nutritional value'
'atonal is merely a pejorative'
'Idomeneo'
'band music'
'Matthias Pintscher'
'Herr Furtwangler'
'Nielsen'
'chemical castration pills'
'endless reincarnation cycles'


----------



## MoonlightSonata

band music - arpeggio
The others I can't fathom - even with those hints...


----------



## Dim7

'atonal is merely a pejorative' - Mahlerian (duh)

'Nielsen' - clavichorder


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*this thread is moved to the Community Forum*
*my post count falls by 17%*


----------



## Dr Johnson

Blimey! It's in the community forum now.


----------



## Dim7

Look at my post count!

The move is entirerly reasonable, though probably bad for the thread.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders must have lost almost 1000 posts - still top poster though.
I wonder who made the executive decision to move it?


----------



## Dr Johnson

I wonder if someone complained that it kept getting to the top of the Classical Music area.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

My post count...ouch...


----------



## Mahlerian

SeptimalTritone said:


> 'atonal is merely a pejorative'


Come on, I've never said that. I don't believe that. What I've said is that the concept is inherently pejorative, not that the word is "merely a pejorative."


----------



## aleazk

SeptimalTritone said:


> I don't actually like Karkowski and Merzbow. I just pretend to like them so that people think I'm modern. In fact, I've pretended to like a lot of modern music out of my own insecurities.
> 
> Well.... maybe not. Merzbow's 1930 is okay. But I honestly think that the noise genre is often quite... thin. It's just a few 'channels' of noise that's loud, but not necessarily complex. And of course, not everything needs to be complex, but I just don't like the combination of loud and simple. I just don't like the noise genre. Okay I do like Xenakis a lot, in fact a whole lot and I love Bohor and Persepolis and La Legende D'eer, but the noise people afterwards...
> 
> A few hints for the less obvious people:
> 
> 't'aint so!' = 're-education camps'
> 'killed a baby seal' = 'decay of the moral fabric of society'
> 
> And a few other people:
> 
> 'sugary pastry with no nutritional value'
> 'atonal is merely a pejorative'
> 'Idomeneo'
> 'band music'
> 'Matthias Pintscher'
> 'Herr Furtwangler'
> 'Nielsen'
> 'chemical castration pills'
> 'endless reincarnation cycles'


'band music' - arpeggio

'Matthias Pintscher' - CoAG

'endless reincarnation cycles' - Septimal

------------------------------------------------

Yeah, well, noise is not my favorite genre either, basically by the reasons you mention. What I do find interesting in the genre are some of the noises themselves, since they could be used as input material for a lovely and complex musique concrete piece.

On the other hand, in some of those noise compositions, you sometimes get some pretty interesting and complex rhythms, I like that too. Also, some interesting contrasts and changes. And of the simple type, I like the ones with a contemplative/meditative feeling. Well. I like some noise music. lol


----------



## Nereffid

Abraham Lincoln said:


> I really want to make a thread for Symphonia, an up-and-coming artbook currently in its conceptual stage (and anyone can contribute as they wish), centred around cute girl versions of composers. Might anyone be interested (in contributing, that is)? Sorry if it's advertising.


I know there are several posters here who would welcome such a book. They would read it very vigorously.


----------



## Dim7

What truly makes a good orc?


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> Blimey! It's in the community forum now.


Just when you get used to where the eggs are in the supermarket they move them to another aisle.


----------



## arpeggio

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Abraham Lincoln is a terrible composer


So is the Duke of Wellington.


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> *this thread is moved to the Community Forum*
> *my post count falls by 17%*


Probably the most efficient way to kill this thread off. It they had closed it, we would just have started a new one.

Well, it's been fun.

Now I'll never reach 1000 posts (again).


----------



## arpeggio

MoonlightSonata said:


> band music - arpeggio
> The others I can't fathom - even with those hints...


.....................................................................


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Probably the most efficient way to kill this thread off. It they had closed it, we would just have started a new one.
> 
> Well, it's been fun.
> 
> Now I'll never reach 1000 posts (again).


On the contrary, now you have the opportunity (that you previously wished for in this thread) to reach 1000 posts again.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Please post your incredible thread ideas for potentially interesting threads that will provide great interest for a significant period of time before the mods finally notice it and move to community form.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> On the contrary, now you have the opportunity (that you previously wished for in this thread) to reach 1000 posts again.


In theory, sure, but to arrive at that joyous happening, I would need to write 200+ non-stupid posts, and I don't see that happening.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Abraham Lincoln said:


> My post count...ouch...


Heh, I lost 671.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

At least now STI has the potential to be the largest thread in its forum - Current Listening prevented that. We just have to overtake "What happens in your life". 2,007 posts to go!


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me profoundly solemn electroacoustic oratorios by Heinrich Ignaz Franz von Biber to help me cope with mods moving this thread to community forum.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

I still want someone to get 'sugary pastry with no nutritional value'. It's the best one I've come up with.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Mahlerian said:


> Come on, I've never said that. I don't believe that. What I've said is that the concept is inherently pejorative, not that the word is "merely a pejorative."


Well...



Mahlerian said:


> Atonal was created to be a pejorative. That it remains pejorative today is obvious from the conventional popular use of the term. It prevents us from actually talking about any of the music it purports to describe.
> 
> If it is a description, can you create a minimum set of conditions necessary for a piece to be atonal?


It sounds like you're saying atonal has no/limited musicological value, and that the word was "created to be a pejorative".


----------



## KenOC

"Hey, let's move popular threads around randomly and confuse and disorient people!"


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Announcement: Post Counts in the Members' Area will be counted from now on.

But not in the main public forums and _especially_ not in Classical Music Discussion.


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

arpeggio said:


> .....................................................................


Band music is awesome! 

I want to write something for band.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What about a Post Your Artwork thread?








^Random Scriabin I drew


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

^^^^^that is actually awesome and accurate! Although I think the B is supposed to be a little bit lighter, but that's really being pedantic.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Abraham Lincoln said:


> What about a Post Your Artwork thread?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ^Random Scriabin I drew


That's amazing! You should start that thread, I believe we have some other artists here.


----------



## hpowders

Help!! Junior Member here!!!

Post no. 1: I have posted at least 1116 times in the main forum, yet I never seem to get past post count #99.
I'm tired of my wife calling me junior. How do I contact customer service around here to resolve this issue?


----------



## Dim7

Scriabin was small and of delicate facial features. If he'd shave that moustache, grow that hair, add some makeup.... not that I'd want to see that....


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Dim7 said:


> Scriabin was small and of delicate facial features. If he'd shave that moustache, grow that hair, add some makeup.... not that I'd want to see that....


I'd go for that. And a young Matthias Pintscher. Yeah that'd be awesome.


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Composers you would shag


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Composers you would shag


<Edited for possible NSFW>


----------



## Dim7

Third Reich still practicing Nazi policy? (Posted in 1940)


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> (Posted in 1940)


Those were the times! It was fun until Adolf Hitler got banned.


----------



## Dim7

music that lead you to crime, drug addiction, murder, sexual perversion & other moral degeneracy


----------



## joen_cph

Composers Influenced By Woollen Sweaters


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers you would dress up as for Halloween

Change.org petition to move STI back to the Classical discussion section

Imagine Inside Out, but taking place inside a famous composer's head.

Which composers correspond to which emotions from Inside Out? Is Bach a Disgust?

Did Bach really *ahem* *ahem* *ahem* his cousin (and future wife) in church???? (I'm dying to know if this is true)

Why am I so weirdly fascinated with Bach?

((Should I group Post Your Artwork and Symphonia into one thread?))


----------



## Mahlerian

SeptimalTritone said:


> It sounds like you're saying atonal has no/limited musicological value, and that the word was "created to be a pejorative".


Both of those things are true. That still doesn't mean the word is "merely" a pejorative, although it certainly continues to carry pejorative connotations and in many cases is used simply as a pejorative without any other meaning.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Local Council Announces New Children's Playground: A Life-Sized Replica of Rachmaninov's Right Hand


----------



## Balthazar

*Poll: The Best of the Third Reich*

*
*Please vote for your favorite artist associated with the Third Reich:

a.	Elisabeth Schwarzkopf
b.	Herbert von Karajan
c.	Richard Wagner
d.	Carl Orff
e.	Hans Pfitzner
f.	The entire VPO
g.	Elly Ney
h.	Walter Gieseking
i.	Maria Callas*

*While Callas had no known ties with the Third Reich, this option is for those who believe that, if she had, she would have done it better than anyone else.

In the comments, feel free to offer your best argument why any mention of their association with the Third Reich is irrelevant to our understanding of the cultural history of the twentieth century. (This should come in handy when those pesky anti-revisionists pop in with their "facts" and "evidence.")

Keep it civil! :tiphat:


----------



## TurnaboutVox

joen_cph said:


> Composers Influenced By Woollen Sweaters


Most Brits and Scandinavians, one presumes. If their current president's antics are anything to go by, the Russians will be tough enough go bare chested in the snow!


----------



## Dim7

How about a pretty girl version of Maria Callas, Abraham Lincoln?


----------



## joen_cph

TurnaboutVox said:


> Most Brits and Scandinavians, one presumes. If their current president's antics are anything to go by, the Russians will be tough enough go bare chested in the snow!


Sweaters aren´t necessarily itchy . In fact, there are quite a few pictures with Scandinavian composers wearing sweaters. Holmboe, for example:









Poul Schierbeck even composed a piano cycle called "Southwest (=the hat), Sweater and Shag-Pipe", about his boat excursions near Copenhagen.


----------



## joen_cph

Your Favourite Theosophical Musicals


----------



## omega

I have not been very active on the forum for the last few weeks. I just discovered this STI thread has been moved to the Community Forum, which should only host _"fun and not so serious threads"_. I really cannot understand a such meaningless decision.


----------



## Balthazar

*Poll: Television Show that STI Most Resembles*

*
*Please select from the following:

a.	The Daily Show (formerly with Jon Stewart)
b.	The Walking Dead
c.	The View
d.	The Twilight Zone
e.	Lost
f.	The Musketeers
g.	Catfish
h.	Law & Order: SVU


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> *
> *Please vote for your favorite artist associated with the Third Reich:
> 
> a.	Elisabeth Schwarzkopf
> b.	Herbert von Karajan
> c.	Richard Wagner
> d.	Carl Orff
> e.	Hans Pfitzner
> f.	The entire VPO
> g.	Elly Ney
> h.	Walter Gieseking
> i.	Maria Callas*
> 
> *While Callas had no known ties with the Third Reich, this option is for those who believe that, if she had, she would have done it better than anyone else.
> 
> In the comments, feel free to offer your best reason why any mention of their association with the Third Reich is irrelevant to our understanding of the cultural history of the twentieth century. (This should come in handy when those pesky anti-revisionists pop in with their "facts" and "evidence.")
> 
> Keep it civil! :tiphat:


Callas had an Aryan nose.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Vote for your favourite portrayal of Bach

Storkinators









Monster Strike























Epic Rap Battles of History


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mad - Bionic Bach









Classic Chips









The Legend of Mozart









Inside Out-ish









Symphonia









The last two are mine.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Is the VPO about to invade Poland?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Imagine various composers singing "Let it Go".


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Subforum Idea:

Communist forum (posts are owned collectively. Every post counts to everyone's post count and everyone can edit anyone's posts)


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Stupid Subforum Idea:
> 
> Communist forum (posts are owned collectively. Every post counts to everyone's post count and everyone can edit anyone's posts)


Operation Forum: for classical music-loving surgeons
Strings forum: Discussing the length of a piece of string
Announcements: Post here only to announce that you are getting married
Today's Composters: A discussion of modern gardening techniques
Pertussis and Other Respiratory Diseases: fairly self-explanatory


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Operation Forum: for classical music-loving surgeons
> Strings forum: Discussing the length of a piece of string
> Announcements: Post here only to announce that you are getting married
> Today's Composters: A discussion of modern gardening techniques
> Pertussis and Other Respiratory Diseases: fairly self-explanatory


Solo & Chamber forum: For socially phobic and agoraphobic music lovers


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> Is the VPO about to invade Poland?


Highly likely, why else would the brass section be massing on the border of the Sudetenland?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> Highly likely, why else would the brass section be massing on the border of the Sudetenland?


Böhm, Böhm!


----------



## Dim7

SeptimalTritone said:


> I still want someone to get 'sugary pastry with no nutritional value'. It's the best one I've come up with.


Okay, it's the time for you to tell us. We don't get it.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Dim7 said:


> Okay, it's the time for you to tell us. We don't get it.


http://www.talkclassical.com/34956-stylistic-diversity.html#post759854


----------



## Dim7

VPO still practicing for performances?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composer Figurines You Want To See Be Manufractured








Left to right: Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Tchaikovsky


----------



## Guest

Since music reached a peak with Mozart, why doesn't everyone just write more stuff like Mozart?


----------



## Dim7

Did Yngwie Malmsteen invent the genre of Neoclassical metal just to make the pun Baroque and Roll?


----------



## Balthazar

dogen said:


> Since music reached a peak with Mozart, why doesn't everyone just write more stuff like Mozart?


I know Debussy wanted to.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Richannes Wrahms a great composer?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Are You A Hand Fan?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Dim7 Richannes Wrahms's alt account?

How does TC compare to GMG Classical Forums?

Identify these composers! (Twenty Bachs you won't be able to guess who is the one in green on the upper right)









Composers you want to see as members of TC

Donna Dralle's Properly Clothed Composer Series

Poll: Your Favourite Symphony by Richannes Wrahms

Poll: Composers you think would make good pets

Colours you associate with the composers

What actually went down with Bach at the Arnstadt church in 1706? What with making music with a strange maiden and all that stuff.


----------



## Dim7

idiocy issues in listening to classical music


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why am I so terrified of everyone else here?


----------



## Guest

Metanoia: Share your story.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Are You Out Of Your Mind?!


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Social Group Idea:

Graveyard


----------



## Blancrocher

*Favorite CD Cases*

Hi Everybody! I'd like to learn about your favorite classical cd cases (No non-classical, please)! Do you like sleeves, plastic cases, tissue paper, or what?!

I'll begin with a personal favorite for 2- 3-cd sets:









They're easy to break if you aren't careful, but they're attractive and don't take up much shelf space.


----------



## joen_cph

Alternatively, one can go for slim and practical paper or cardboard CD sleeves.

Also, you can chew them a bit, when the classical music bores you.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Do you want us to make a list of them, in order of preference?


----------



## TresPicos

Dr Johnson said:


> Do you want us to make a list of them, in order of preference?


I think he wants reverse order of preference, like a countdown.


----------



## Dr Johnson

TresPicos said:


> I think he wants reverse order of preference, like a countdown.


You are right.

That would be more exciting (if that is indeed possible).


----------



## Dim7

What bullet is going through your head right now?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: What is your favourite CD packaging
> 
> * plastic jewel case
> * double plastic jewel case
> * cardboard sleeve
> * box set / cardboard box
> * hybrid cardboard sleeve / plastic CD holder insert (e.g. from those new Berlin-based micro-labels)
> * tetrahedral pyramid
> * bubble-wrap envelope
> * other (please give details)
> * I don't buy CDs
> 
> Vote for only one choice. Please give examples of packaging you think appropriate for different genres, e.g. atonal music in mini-galvanised steel dustbins


Great minds think alike, Blancrocher, whereas fools...


----------



## Dr Johnson

Plagiarism competition.


----------



## Ingélou

Oh I've got a good idea - how about holding a Plagiarism Competition?


----------



## Dim7

Ingélou said:


> Oh I've got a good idea - how about holding a Plagiarism Competition?


Coincidentally, plagiarizing plagiaristic thread ideas has been done before...


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> Coincidentally, plagiarizing plagiaristic thread ideas has been done before...


Good - that should guarantee that I win the Competition...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ingélou said:


> Good - that should guarantee that I win the Competition...


No, I will win. Just ask anyone who's seen my art. >

I also kind of want to see a "Fawn over your composer waifu(s)" thread.


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Pointless Thread?*

...............................


----------



## Balthazar

Blancrocher said:


> *A Pointless Thread?*
> 
> ...............................


Unthinkable!


----------



## Dr Johnson

Unthinkable Threads.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Personal Hygiene of the Great Composers.

Favourite waffle irons of the Great Composers.

The Great British Bake Off, Great Composers edition. Whose cakes would be tastiest?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dr Johnson said:


> Personal Hygiene of the Great Composers.


Beethoven...dear God.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Nitpicking Site-Feedback Thread*

Hey everybody!! This is the Nitpicking Site-Feedback Thread! This is where you go to tell the mods about very minor concerns about the site! Are you ever in a situation where you have an embarrassingly minor issue with the forum you'd like to mention to the forum staff but feel you can't because you'd feel guilty derailing a serious discussion about the Terms of Service? Well, this thread's for you!!

I'll kick things off: any chance we can get 6 sizes of font instead of the current 5?


----------



## Dim7

Not stupid. I've planned to post a thread like that actually.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Your favourite list of fonts.

Fonts of the great composers.

Fonts of the minor composers.

Fonts the Lord taught us.

Fonts the Nazis tried to ban.


----------



## Dim7

Is the concept of "concept" meaningful to you?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Is the concept of "concept" meaningful to you?


Very, very meaningful indeed.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Is the concept of "concept" meaningful to you?


Well, at least it's more meaningful than the concept of "meaningful".


----------



## Blancrocher

*Stupid Discussion Thread for Stupid Thread Ideas*

A companion thread for Stupid Thread Ideas, where we can discuss ideas, rule changes, and other developments associated with STI without disturbing the smooth and regular appearance of stupid thread ideas.


----------



## Dim7

Intelligent Discussion Thread for Stupid Thread Ideas

Stupid Discussion Thread for Intelligent Thread Ideas


----------



## Balthazar

Blancrocher said:


> *Stupid Discussion Thread for Stupid Thread Ideas*
> 
> A companion thread for Stupid Thread Ideas, where we can discuss ideas, rule changes, and other developments associated with STI without disturbing the smooth and regular appearance of stupid thread ideas.


Are you trying to turn this into the Plagiarism Thread?


----------



## Balthazar

If the Wiener Philharmoniker hires more women, will they have to change their name?

(I admit, not my finest work.)


----------



## Blancrocher

Balthazar said:


> Are you trying to turn this into the Plagiarism Thread?


****!! Well, at least now I gave it a like.


----------



## Dim7

TC members with the most confusing/enigmatic 'likes'


----------



## Blancrocher

*The Nazi Thread*

Hi, Everyone. I can't say I have a point to make, but I just had this irresistible urge to start a thread with the word "Nazi" in the title. I'm sure I'm not the only one this happens to.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Blancrocher said:


> *The Nazi Thread*
> 
> Hi, Everyone. I can't say I have a point to make, but I just had this irresistible urge to start a thread with the word "Nazi" in the title. I'm sure I'm not the only one this happens to.


It's a Nazi job, but someone has to do it....


----------



## Blancrocher

*Do Composers Have Jeans?*

There's a lot of discussion of jeans on the forum, and whether or not they play a role in creativity. Do they? Should a composer wear jeans? Are "jeans" just a result of fashion? What composers have the most jeans?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Unpleasant Singers with great voices


----------



## Balthazar

Blancrocher said:


> ****!! Well, at least now I gave it a like.


Thanks for that, BR!

But I've come to accept that if I'm really going for the likes, it's best to stick to wiener jokes.


----------



## SimonNZ

Hi. I've heard that ad hominems aren't allowed here and are considered rude, but can't quite remember how they work. Is it:

a) Your argument is wrong because you're an idiot.

or:

b) Your argument is wrong and you're an idiot.

Don't want to cause offense by getting them mixed up.


----------



## Sloe

Are HIP performances hip?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Blancrocher said:


> *Do Composers Have Jeans?*
> 
> There's a lot of discussion of jeans on the forum, and whether or not they play a role in creativity. Do they? Should a composer wear jeans? Are "jeans" just a result of fashion? What composers have the most jeans?
> 
> View attachment 76577












Does this count? This anime is called Classicaloid and is coming out next year - can't wait!


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*Poll: Is wearing a wig a requirement for greatness?*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Favourite composer named Johann(es)

Favourite composer with anger management issues

Least Intelligent Composer?

Ugly Composers

What Is With The Constant Capitals In Topic Titles? I Don't Get It.

Eye colors of the great composers.

On a scale of 1 to "I'd marry him", how attractive do you rate the composers as being?

Poll: Johannes Brahms, Richard Wagner, or Richannes Wrahms?



Richannes Wrahms said:


> *Poll: Is wearing a wig a requirement for greatness?*


No, as Beethoven can prove to you! ;P


----------



## Dim7

Balthazar said:


> If the Wiener Philharmoniker hires more women, will they have to change their name?
> 
> (I admit, not my finest work.)





Balthazar said:


> Thanks for that, BR!
> 
> But I've come to accept that if I'm really going for the likes, it's best to stick to wiener jokes.


It's a bit Ravel's Bolero. "Lol this is pretty dumb but whatever, let's publish it......... whhhatt, you like this one the best??? Above all these clever ones???"


----------



## Dim7

Random cabbages and warhammers that don't wriggle an omniscient gay bar to themselves


----------



## Sloe

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Poll: Johannes Brahms, Richard Wagner, or Richannes Wrahms?


I seriously wonder what Richannes Wrahms music would have been like.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Sloe said:


> I seriously wonder what Richannes Wrahms music would have been like.


It'd be like Richard Wagner and Johannes Brahms made a baby together.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Abraham Lincoln said:


> It'd be like Richard Wagner and Johannes Brahms made a baby together.


Images You Would Rather Not Have In Your Mind.


----------



## Ingélou

Which bar in Beethoven's Fifth Symphony is the most easily forgotten?


----------



## Dr Johnson

The How Long Will The "VPO still practicing Nazi policy?" Thread Last? Thread.

The Betting On The Above.

The Movie Of The "VPO still practicing Nazi policy?" Thread.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Sex Lives of the Great Composers


Did I really just type that


----------



## Dr Johnson

Will The VPO Play The Horst Wessel Song At This New Year's Day Concert?


----------



## Dim7

Balthazar said:


> If the Wiener Philharmoniker hires more women, will they have to change their name?
> 
> (I admit, not my finest work.)


If Dr Johnson loses a member that is not a leg or arm, will he have to change his username?


----------



## Dim7

Great posters with unpleasant avatars


----------



## SimonNZ

Dr Johnson said:


> Will The VPO Play The Horst Wessel Song At This New Year's Day Concert?


Maybe Alma Deutscher (-Uber-Alles), poster-child of Aryan purity, savior of the Classical tradition, and the hammer of degenerate Modernism. Tomorrow belongs to her.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> If Dr Johnson *loses a member* that is not a leg or arm, will he have to change his username?


Absit omen.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Nazis still practicing VPO policy?


----------



## Dim7

SimonNZ said:


> Maybe Alma Deutscher (-Uber-Alles), poster-child of *Aryan purity*, savior of the Classical tradition, and the hammer of degenerate Modernism. Tomorrow belongs to her.


Well, I don't know about that. From wikipedia:

"Alma is the daughter of Janie (née Steen), an organ scholar, and Guy Deutscher, an *Israeli-born* linguist and amateur flautist."

But then again....

----------------------------------------------

VVVVVVVV :tiphat:


----------



## Ingélou

VVVVVVVV :tiphat: 
Paying Respect before Someone Posts - a practical ESP demonstration.
VVVVVVVV :tiphat:


----------



## Guest

Poll.

If you could pick only one, which is your favourite?


- Racism

- Sexism

- Impossible to pick just one

- Who cares, as long as it doesn't affect me?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

dogen said:


> Poll.
> 
> If you could pick only one, which is your favourite?
> 
> - Racism
> 
> - Sexism
> 
> - Impossible to pick just one
> 
> - Who cares, as long as it doesn't affect me?


I pick sexism against men (except amazing men like Beethoven and Lewis Black).


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> Great posters with unpleasant avatars


Unpleasant Posters with great avatars...


----------



## Guest

Talk Fascism.


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Poll*

What should you be doing instead of compulsively reading the thread about whether or not the VPO is a fascist organization?

A. Working
B. Spending time with the family
C. Exercising
D. Public service/volunteer work
E. Starting a thread about whether or not Wagner was a Nazi or would be one today


----------



## millionrainbows

Stupid Thread Ideas sub-forum, for those who don't think the idea is stupid and want to pursue it in-depth.


----------



## millionrainbows

Reverse fascism: How major symphony orchestras are influencing government policy


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stupid threads you've actually seen on TC.


----------



## Dim7

*Stupid Poster Ideas*

See what kind of stupid posters you can come up with. Give this hypothetical poster a stupid username, a stupid avatar, a stupid signature, a stupid personality, some stupid catchphrases, stupid musical tastes, stupid political views, stupid ways of trolling, stupid ways of reacting to the same kind of trolling the same way every time etc....


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> *Stupid Poster Ideas*
> 
> See what kind of stupid posters you can come up with. Give this hypothetical poster a stupid username, a stupid avatar, a stupid signature, a stupid personality, some stupid catchphrases, stupid musical tastes, stupid political views, stupid ways of trolling, stupid ways of reacting to the same kind of trolling the same way every time etc....


We have one like that :lol:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> *Stupid Poster Ideas*
> 
> See what kind of stupid posters you can come up with. Give this hypothetical poster a stupid username, a stupid avatar, a stupid signature, a stupid personality, some stupid catchphrases, stupid musical tastes, stupid political views, stupid ways of trolling, stupid ways of reacting to the same kind of trolling the same way every time etc...


May I introduce you to this guy?


----------



## Guest

What year is it where you are? Come in and share!


----------



## Ingélou

dogen said:


> What year is it where you are? Come in and share!


My year of choice is 1893 but just lately I've found myself stuck in 1755.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stupid Username Ideas


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Stupid Username Ideas


...................................


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> ...................................


BachSucksSucks
Dim8
Johachard Bragner
CompostOfAvenueGarden
Nobody
caten
You
VPOpracticingNaziPolicy
GiveMePostLikeThanks
BackSucks
BACK SUCKS!!!
Donald Trump


----------



## Dim7

What defiles Classical Music?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Close your eyes and type thread 

Tupe with your wues closed, anythinf can ve discussed byt you beed to keep your eyelids shut when you type


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Double Post Thread


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Close your eyes and type thread
> 
> Tupe with your wues closed, anythinf can ve discussed byt you beed to keep your eyelids shut when you type


there's no difference, can type erectly een wth my eyes clsed.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Wēířď şýmböľ-ŕïđđêñ țéxţ ťhŕĕåď


----------



## Blancrocher

*VPO/Nazi Commentary Thread*

Hello! I'm sure I'm not the only one who is assiduously following what is by post- and view-count the most popular thread on the forum. Obviously we need another thread on the topic! That's right!! This is where you go to dissect the arguments on the main VPO/Nazi thread, express surprise and dismay about developments, and (what the hell) just go ahead and repeat ourselves. But remember: this is a "music" forum , so I ask that rants about fascism, sexism, and the like be concluded with a token reference to music or music institutions. Something like, "All this can be seen in the behavior of the VPO" or "I think I read this somewhere in Wagner." You get the idea. At least make the mods think a bit before deleting your post.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> What defiles Classical Music?


And what does classical music defile?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Close your eyes and type thread
> 
> Tupe with your wues closed, anythinf can ve discussed byt you beed to keep your eyelids shut when you type


You rill zss th\t _ a\ his ssyca\ du dubxhg qepw[/I!

Mmm, that went well..._


----------



## Guest

Post a picture of yourself - before and after shaving.


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> Post a picture of yourself - *before and after shaving*.


The face ?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

You first, red panda!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Whâţ īf wė ďøñ'ț śhävĕ¿


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is the meaningful composer of "concept" genius to you?


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> You rill zss th\t _ a\ his ssyca\ du dubxhg qepw[/I!_


_

Which translates roughly as "Resistile is futance."_


----------



## Ingélou

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is the meaningful composer of "concept" genius to you?


No, actually - but threads about him on TC always go on for pages & generate a lot of argy-bargy...


----------



## Guest

(raised as a topic in another thread)

The unification of the German people: suggest ways to achieve this.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> You first, red panda!


Hey, I've done the Before! (it included a lot of my cat). I'll see if I've got enough foam to do my chest, legs and, er, bikini line. Look out Pinterest.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Write Random Stories Starring Composers Thread


----------



## Dim7

Composers that are so good that they are bad in a way


----------



## arpeggio

Was Marvin Schwartz the last great Romantic composer from the State of Vermont?


----------



## Blancrocher

*Greatest Romantics*

Hi Everybody! Surely I'm not the only one interested in the love lives of classical composers? Non-classical musicians seem to get all the attention in this regard, at least so far as I can tell from various fine publications that appear in the grocery store aisle. Sure--post some salacious stuff! Gesualdo, Kontzwara, and the like. But I'm a softy at heart. What composers were the best _romantics_? The kind of composers who do bad poetry and violin serenades. Any videos with them and their significant others at a candlelit dinner? I want to hear everything!!


----------



## TresPicos

Blancrocher said:


> *Greatest Romantics*
> 
> Hi Everybody! Surely I'm not the only one interested in the love lives of classical composers? Non-classical musicians seem to get all the attention in this regard, at least so far as I can tell from various fine publications that appear in the grocery store aisle. Sure--post some salacious stuff! Gesualdo, Kontzwara, and the like. But I'm a softy at heart. What composers were the best _romantics_? The kind of composers who do bad poetry and violin serenades. Any videos with them and their significant others at a candlelit dinner? I want to hear everything!!


The most romantic of all composers are those of the Romantic Era, hence the name. The Early Romantic composers like Berlioz and Mendelssohn were most romantic around 8 pm, while Late Romantic composers like Fauré and Rachmaninoff peaked around or after midnight. The earliest romantics were Beethoven and Schubert, who turned on their charm already in the afternoon, when no one actually cared, and who were sound asleep by the time other people started looking for romance. The disappointment over this raw deal turned Schubert into a brooder and Beethoven into a grumpy old man.


----------



## joen_cph

TresPicos said:


> The most romantic of all composers are those of the Romantic Era, hence the name. The Early Romantic composers like Berlioz and Mendelssohn were most romantic around 8 pm, while Late Romantic composers like Fauré and Rachmaninoff peaked around or after midnight. The earliest romantics were Beethoven and Schubert, who turned on their charm already in the afternoon, when no one actually cared, and who were sound asleep by the time other people started looking for romance. The disappointment over this raw deal turned Schubert into a brooder and Beethoven into a grumpy old man.


Overall, because of the extraordinary long midsummer evenings, including the Midnight Sun, Northern Scandinavian composers like Alfven, Atterberg, Sibelius and Grieg simply can´t be beaten in the field of Late Romanticism, at least during one season of the year. 
And I´m not even being patrotic or polemic here; it must be considered a matter of fact.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Was Beethoven the grumpiest old man?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Is the concept of "concept" a meaningful concept to you?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is the VPO of "still practicing Nazi" a policy to you?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Poll: Do you prefer the concept of Nazism, or the Nazism of concept?


----------



## Guest

SeptimalTritone said:


> Poll: Do you prefer the concept of Nazism, or the Nazism of concept?


If it's a poll you're after, shouldn't that be "Is Nazism the Greatest of the Last Great Concepts?"


----------



## SeptimalTritone

MacLeod said:


> If it's a poll you're after, shouldn't that be "Is Nazism the Greatest of the Last Great Concepts?"


I think that Nazism isn't necessarily the greatest concept, but it certainly is better than any other concept I can think of.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

SeptimalTritone said:


> I think that Nazism isn't necessarily the greatest concept, but it certainly is better than any other concept I can think of.


Like the concept of "genius composer"?


----------



## Dim7

music that lured the dying heaven into you?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stupid Idea Ideas


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Idealistic Ideologies


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Stupid Stupid Stupidities of Stupidity


----------



## Guest

Screenshots of your favourite deleted posts.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Favourite Banned Users


----------



## Dim7

SeptimalTritone said:


> Stupid Stupid Stupidities of Stupidity


Stupid Stupidity Stupidities sounds better.


----------



## Guest

Should opera singers use Auto-Tune?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> Stupid Stupidity Stupidities sounds better.


Lists of Stupid Stupidity Stupidities sounds even better.


----------



## Dr Johnson

A gallery of members of famous orchestras relaxing after the show.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

dogen said:


> Should opera singers use Auto-Tune?


You know what?

I bet that if one utilized microtonal autotune and a small ensemble of voices one could compose a very interesting piece of modern music. Don't know if this has been done before.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Should opera singers use Auto-Tune?


They need to learn to sing first, even if it's out of tune.


----------



## Guest

SeptimalTritone said:


> You know what?
> 
> I bet that if one utilized microtonal autotune and a small ensemble of voices one could compose a very interesting piece of modern music. Don't know if this has been done before.


Sure thing, the use of technology as a vehicle for creativity (rather than masking a lack of talent).

Ugh, sorry. Back to the stupidity.


----------



## Dim7

How do I delete members I don't like?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Your Favorite BEEEEETHOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Symphony


----------



## Blancrocher

*Current Listening Vol. V*

Current Listening Vol.III has gotten too large and is using up too much bandwidth as people constantly add updates, so I have closed it and created a new thread for posting about music you are currently listening to. Knowing that Current Listening Vol. IV would be filled up just as quickly as Vol. III, I've decided to skip it altogether. Might as well speed things up a bit.


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> *Current Listening Vol. V*
> 
> Current Listening Vol.III has gotten too large and is using up too much bandwidth as people constantly add updates, so I have closed it and created a new thread for posting about music you are currently listening to. Knowing that Current Listening Vol. IV would be filled up just as quickly as Vol. III, I've decided to skip it altogether. Might as well speed things up a bit.


Not to mention the fact that Vol. IV would clearly discriminate against those who do not identify with standard Western numerical ordering systems. In a way, Vol. IV would be adhering to Nazi policy.

But more importantly... was Current Listening Vol. II the last great Current Listening thread? And is the concept of a great thread even a meaningful concept?

And perhaps most importantly... how many polls will it take to figure all of this out? [Circle One: 1/2/3/Other/Unsure/Who Cares]


----------



## Dim7

I voted I Know Too Much To Ensure Who Caresses.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Orchestras with too many women.


----------



## Dim7

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Orchestras with too many women.


Women with too many orchestras.


----------



## Guest

Men with too many horns.


----------



## Blancrocher

Orcs with too many straws.


----------



## Dim7

Evil overlords with too many orcs


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Celebrity fandom disorder


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Post pictures of your OTP.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

The Kittens and Apple Pie and Nice Things thread with no orchestras which have discriminatory hiring policies and _definitely_ no former Nazis...


----------



## Balthazar

Did Elisabeth Schwarzkopf's Nazi-soul enter Britney Spears's body during Hurricane Felix in 2007?

Discuss...


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> The Kittens and Apple Pie and Nice Things thread with no orchestras which have discriminatory hiring policies and _definitely_ no former Nazis...


Where in Settings, can I ensure I don't have to see any nazi transvestites, talentless bimbos or pastiche-performing minors?


----------



## Dim7

Nerdy pictures to dorken your knight


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Disgusting pictures to ruin your appetite


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Which of these TC members do you like?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Which of these TC members do you like?


Will there be pictures to ruin my appetite?


----------



## Dim7

SS still discriminating against Jews??


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 still practicing Nazi policy?


----------



## arpeggio

Can a composer who writes great music for the harmonic also compose great music for bagpipes?

Yes
No
Unsure
Don't know enough to decide
Who cares


:lol:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Can a composer who practices nerdy policies also make Dim7 a great concept to ruin the VPO's appetite?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Classical music to raise 20 kids to.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is Britney Spears' Method Of Composing Often Over-Intellectualized?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Favourite STI Poster


----------



## Dim7

Answer A Question With A Deconstruction Of The Question In Question


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7-Abraham Lincoln STI duet


----------



## Guest

Poll:

Which is worse - VPO or VPL


----------



## Guest

dogen said:


> Poll:
> 
> Which is worse - VPO or VPL


DVT is worse than both.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Which is worse, both or DVT?


----------



## Guest

Medically DVT, sartorially VPL, ethically VPO.


----------



## Dim7

Both is the worst. Meta-ethically.


----------



## Guest

What about DPO?


----------



## TresPicos

VPO or UFO - which would you rather run into on a dark spooky night?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Lists of increasingly impenetrable acronyms.


----------



## Dim7

Dr Johnson said:


> Lists of increasingly impenetrable acronyms.


Dr Johnson's list of increasingly penetrable opera singers


----------



## TresPicos

................................


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

VPO still practicing Nazi policy?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Dr Johnson's list of increasingly penetrable opera singers


Is that the one divided into living and not?


----------



## Guest

List of non-existent things that exist.


----------



## Guest

Spectralism Vs Auto-Tuner: The Final.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> Dr Johnson's list of increasingly penetrable opera singers





dogen said:


> Is that the one divided into living and not?


Is my good name being bandied about irresponsibly?

You two can have the dead.

:lol:


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> Is my good name being bandied about irresponsibly?


It's the best type of bandying!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Can Steve Reich be considered the Fourth Reich?


----------



## Blancrocher

*Pool*









This is a public pool game. Be advised that other members can see how you voted in this pool game.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Photoshop Thread


----------



## Dim7

Normal album/CD covers of classical works


----------



## Guest

Post a picture of your baps, or any other dough-based items.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I note, amidst all the Nazi nonsense, the modern cultural icons and the barbie dolls, that a Chinese company has thought fit to bring *this* out for the Christmas market this year (here's the free market at its best, eh?)










Why, it's "Bastian", a Wermacht supply unit officer doll made in the image of Sebastian Schweinsteiger.



> Bild quoted the manufacturing company, Dragon in Dream (DiD) as saying that it was "pure coincidence" that the figure resembled the 31-year-old who joined Manchester United from Bayern Munich in July on a three-year contract worth a reported £14.4m.
> 
> It said the name was also a coincidence, as "many people in Germany are called Bastian".
> 
> The figure comes with a steel helmet, a woollen cap bearing a swastika, and a dagger.


Needless to say, Schweinsteiger is taking legal action...


----------



## Blancrocher

*What is your favorite mass?*

A. 1 kilogram
B. 55 grams
C. 3 metric tons
D. 600 pounds
E. other

My personal favorite is 0.0000000218 kg.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

I'd say .511 MeV


----------



## clavichorder

What fake accounts have you made here? Share your exploits!


----------



## Dim7

Kill yourself and share the pictures


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Poll*

A. ö
B. oe

It would be hard for me to get used to Schönberg, so I voted B. But it was a tough choice.

What will you decide?


----------



## clavichorder

Threads to reach out to wider public:

Post your favorite selfie

Funny cat pictures thread

Your favorite trending memes

For the cross disciplinary folks:

Match classical composer with gangsta rapper

Match classical composer with strain of weed

Match classical composer with new age guru


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

SeptimalTritone said:


> I'd say .511 MeV


http://www.talkclassical.com/21485-your-favorite-mass-6.html#post669502


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Abraham Lincoln said:


> VPO still practicing Nazi policy?


Yep, but check again in the morning, you never know...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Steven Universe-style composer fusions
For example, Mozart and Beethoven fuse together to create Schubert and Bach is a fusion of Handel and Vivaldi.


----------



## SimonNZ

VPO Still Practicing?


----------



## SimonNZ

Bassoon: Woodwind Or Percussion Instrument?

Correct 1680s French Swear Words For Conductors To Yell During "Authentic" Performances Of Lully's Te Deum


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

SimonNZ said:


> VPO Still Practicing?


You missed out two words: 'Nazi' and 'policy'.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Which is worse, liking a post by a poster you hate or receiving a like from a poster you hate?


----------



## SimonNZ

Abraham Lincoln said:


> You missed out two words: 'Nazi' and 'policy'.


Er, no. I meant are the VPO still _practicing_. I mean: don't they have the Blue Danube pretty much down solid by now? And if not shouldn't they just leave all that stuff to Andre Rieu?


----------



## SimonNZ

Shouldn't the BEST, the most PROFESSIONAL, musicians be able to just sight-read on the day of the performance, freeing up all that expensive rehearsal time?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

SimonNZ said:


> Er, no. I meant are the VPO still _practicing_. I mean: don't they have the Blue Danube pretty much down solid by now? And if not shouldn't they just leave all that stuff to Andre Rieu?


Well, they have been practicing Steve Reich's famous 3rd Symphony, also known as the Third Reich or more popularly (especially on TC), the "Nazi Policy", for goodness knows how long. Shouldn't they have gotten it nailed down already by now?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What the heck is "Inside Out" and why does Abraham Lincoln keep talking about it?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Dead vs. living people, which do you prefer?


----------



## Dim7

Your favorite Nazi


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is the VPO the Illuminati?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Have I just crashed STI?


----------



## Dim7

Britney Spears vs. William Shakespeare


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Britney Spears vs. William Shakespeare


Just stop that now!


----------



## joen_cph

Mossolov versus Britney Spears


----------



## Guest

Nine Inch Nails vs Spear & Jackson.


----------



## Guest

Brittany Ferries vs Gerry and the Pacemakers.


----------



## Guest

Bryan Ferry vs Luigi Nono.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Take these suggestions to Epic Rap Battles of History, please.


----------



## Dr Johnson

No No Nanette vs Nanette Newman.


----------



## Guest

V.P.O. Vs. G.P.O.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Nazis vs Steve Reich.


----------



## Blancrocher

*New Subforum?*


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> *New Subforum?*
> 
> View attachment 76928


Ooooooohhhh! H4...


----------



## joen_cph

As a side remark, I don´t remember any classical music dealing with that invention, the submarine. Aereoplanes, trains, balloons, ships, but no subs - and cars probably a rare find.


----------



## Jos

Blancrocher said:


> *New Subforum?*
> 
> View attachment 76928


Great idea, preferably unmoderated. Sink that Bismark !!


----------



## Mahlerian

joen_cph said:


> As a side remark, I don´t remember any classical music dealing with that invention, the submarine. Aereoplanes, trains, balloons, ships, but no subs - and cars probably a rare find.


It's probably there, hiding under the surface...


----------



## Guest

Which live non-classical concerts have you attended in your death?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

brianvds said:


> Bach you-know-whatted too much.


Come up with random words and phrases to replace the "you-know-what".

E.g. Bach danced to Strauss and Strauss and Strauss in a litter box with tears in his eyes too much.


----------



## Balthazar

*The Sober Subforum*

All members will be required to undergo a remote breathalyzer/blood test prior to posting in this area in an effort to manage The Crazy.


----------



## Guest

Mahlerian said:


> It's probably there, hiding under the surface...


I imagine there'll be at least one orchestral rendition of Yellow Submarine lurking out there, if one were brave enough to look. Which I'm not.


----------



## Balthazar

There are many. My personal fave...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

If you need some music for an event
You can count on the four of us and our friends
'Cuz we're the masters and we're monumental
Our works are of genius and sentimental

We
are the Composers
We write the best music
and if you think we don't
you really should rethink
That's why the people of this world
Believe in
Mozart
Tchaikovsky
and Bach
AND BEETHOVEN!


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> There are many. My personal fave...


You're a brave man. You are a man, aren't you?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

...And today I bring you two new contributions to the Post Your Artwork thread:

a Maurice Ravel,









and Franz Liszt.


----------



## arpeggio

Great composers who have no sense of rhythm.


----------



## Mahlerian

dogen said:


> You're a brave man. You are a man, aren't you?


If you're REALLY brave, you can check this out. It was a huge hit in the 80s, I think.


----------



## Guest

Is it SFW???!!!


----------



## Mahlerian

That depends. Are your speakers on, or are you using headphones? Because if your co-workers hear it, they'll never let you forget it.


----------



## arpeggio

Great composers who composed lousy melodies.


----------



## Dim7

arpeggio said:


> Great composers who composed lousy melodies.










.......................


----------



## Dr Johnson

Balthazar said:


> *The Sober Subforum*
> 
> All members will be required to undergo a remote breathalyzer/blood test prior to posting in this area in an effort to manage The Crazy.


*The Gonzo Subforum*

Members will be required to take at least two of the recreational substances mentioned in_ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas_.


----------



## Dim7

Where do I go to unlearn all this music theory knowledge I have?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> Where do I go to unlearn all this music theory knowledge I have?


The Gonzo Subforum.


----------



## Jos

Dr Johnson said:


> *The Gonzo Subforum*
> 
> Members will be required to take at least two of the recreational substances mentioned in_ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas_.


Ah, I already do that when entering certain sections of TC.....


----------



## SimonNZ

Mahlerian said:


> If you're REALLY brave, you can check this out. It was a huge hit in the 80s, I think.


Heh. That was actually fun. And it was sweet the way she did "submarine" as four syllables.

I was expecting something more like this:


----------



## arpeggio

Your favorite Franck symphony.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Napoleon's Third Symphony


----------



## Mahlerian

SimonNZ said:


> Heh. That was actually fun. And it was sweet the way she did "submarine" as four syllables.
> 
> I was expecting something more like this:
> 
> Wing link


Oh, no, I would never consciously inflict something like Wing on a community I love...or would I???


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Notice us, senpai


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Was Tchaikovsky one of the greatest unfortunately-named composers, and what defines him?


----------



## Dim7

Can You Misidentify The Singular Of These 13 Easy Words?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7, would you be my husband? (jk)


----------



## Dim7

Well, I've always considered my friend list my harem basically.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> Well, I've always considered my friend list my harem basically.




:lol: .


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> Well, I've always considered my friend list my harem basically.


Not including any minors, that would be criminal.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Not including any minors, that would be criminal.


I am in eighth grade.


----------



## Dim7

I hope my ignorance of the fact will be considered a valid defense in the courts.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Well, I've always considered my friend list my harem basically.


We need to reconsider our situation.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> Well, I've always considered my friend list my harem basically.


I hope you won't be too disappointed when I tell you that I am already spoken for.


----------



## Dim7

So what?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> So what?


I thought you'd take it badly.

Sorry.

:devil:


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is "Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky" a coherent concept to you?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Tchaikovsky the voice of God?

Was Tchaikovsky so bad he was good in a way?

What defines Tchaikovsky?

Stupid Tchaikovsky Ideas

J. S. Bach - Conservative or Tchaikovsky?

VPO still practicing Tchaikovsky policy?

Funny Tchaikovskys to brighten your gay

Sick call and Tchaikovsky Thread

Current Tchaikovskying vol. III

What Tchaikovskys in your life - come in and share!

Talk Tchaikovsky


----------



## Dim7

Are you a meaningful concept to yourself?


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Thread Ideas you hate with passion


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Tchaikovscalypse part II: The Tchaikovskying - Now with at least 10% more essential Tchaikovskys! RESISTANCE IS TCHAIKOVSKY!

The most unfortunate-named Tchaikovsky

Are you a meaningful concept to Tchaikovsky?

Is the concept of "Tchaikovsky" a genius composer to you?

Poll: Tchaikovsky (A la carte poll #104)

why is tchaikovsky so long when you order

Poll: Your favourite TCHAIKOVSKY symphony, please?

Your favorite Tchaikovskereki movements

Organ performamce of Tchaikovsky's Tchaikovsky & Fugue in D minor

What Tchaikovsky is going through your head right now?

Answer an Answer with a Tchaikovsky

Johann Tchaikovskian Bach

Can you identify the plural for this 13 tough Tchaikovskys?

Cars of the British Tchaikovsky

Post a picture of Tchaikovsky

Tchaikovsgraphy thread.

classical composers you hate whit a tchaikovsky, a post dedicated to tchaikovsky

What does Tchaikovsky actually indicate?

Best of Tchaikovski Savall

Late works vs all the Tchaikovsky 

What's the Tchaikovsky? [Game]

Poll: Was Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky The Last Great Romantic Composer?

Poll: Was Tchaikovsky One Of The Greatest Natural Melody Composers? ....wait.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Does Brahms's beard make a good coffee filter?


----------



## Dim7

*Bananas*

It seems that right in the first post, namely this one, this thread has gone off-topic, that is to say rather than talking about the supposed subject I'm complaining about off-topic. That's not a good sign. Thread has been closed.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Dim7 secretly Tchaikovsky?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How do I become a child prodigy????


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How do I become a child prodigy????


Especially as an adult!?!??!1


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Especially as an adult!?!??!1


But I am 13??!??!2 Is that too old????!!!!??!?3


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> But I am 13??!??!2 Is that too old????!!!!??!?3


I was talking about myself!!?!!010


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*New poll, courtesy of Bach*

Poll: Well Tempered-Clavier or the Art of Fugue?


----------



## Dim7

Likes Given / Post Count ratios you hate with passion


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

holy crêpe, my text has a color


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is my name not in Composer Guestbooks?

Poll: How long do you think Dim7 will keep this current avatar?
- 1 day
- 2 to 4 days
- 5 days to one week
- More than one week
- Other (please specify)
- Don't know
- I AM Dim7, you blinking imbecile, whether or not I'll be keeping this picture is up to me and only me
- 4'33"


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Richannes Wrahms said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Richannes Wrahms said:
> 
> 
> 
> *Converse with yourself*
> 
> 
> 
> *Nope.*
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Ok
Click to expand...

. .


----------



## Balthazar

*Open Question to the Membership*

Threads keep getting locked because everyone says I'm a jerk.

What's wrong with you people?!?!?!?


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> *Open Question to the Membership*
> 
> Threads continue to get locked because everyone keeps saying I'm a jerk.
> 
> What's wrong with you people?!?!?!?


Well you shouldn't have recommended copper speaker cable in the hi-fi forum. Like, d'uh.


----------



## SimonNZ

There's More Than One Type Of Speaker Cable??


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> There's More Than One Type Of Speaker Cable??


In the hifi forum that would get you an infraction.


----------



## Dim7

Funny pictures without cats


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Wagner - beret or no beret?


----------



## Dim7

Your favorite Austrian painter


----------



## Dim7

Have you ever been a victim of murder?


----------



## Guest

Have you ever been a victim of your own success?


----------



## Dim7

Cynical sayings to ruin your _joie de vivre_


----------



## Dim7

Which TC members would have been Nazis had they lived in Germany during Third Reich? Keep it civil.


----------



## Sloe

Did you have a silence musical education?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are you actually Toscanini?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Food you most hate.

From my part, I hate a lot of salty creamy-runny things, the greatest example being Béchamel Sauce. That slimy unappealing fat white goo dough-like-thing that is the base of a lot of traditional French recipes.


----------



## Dim7

*Poll: Are You A Criminal Searched By The Police?*

Be advised that this is a public poll: other users can see the choice(s) you selected.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7, did your avatar just change?


----------



## Dim7

Depends on your definition of "just". I changed it yesterday or last night.


----------



## Guest

Create the ultimate Wagner opera by combining notes.


----------



## Guest

If you can't tell a good tune when you hear it, then you can't tell that a genocidal regime is bad. 
Discuss.


----------



## Dim7

Create the Ultimate Hottie by Combining Body Parts of Different People (e.g. Babbitt's head + Britney's Bottom + Thatcher's boobs etc.)


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Create the Ultimate Hottie by Combining Body Parts of Different People (e.g. Babbitt's head + Britney's Bottom + Thatcher's boobs etc.)


Oh now I'm feeling horny...


----------



## Dim7

Social Group Idea:

Just fu*k off (Repel Only Group)


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Create the Ultimate Hottie by Combining Body Parts of Different People (e.g. Babbitt's head + Britney's Bottom + Thatcher's boobs etc.)


Bach's head + Bach's body + Bach's legs + Bach's boobs (???!?)


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers' gemstones


----------



## Dim7

*Other members can't like my posts?* (Site Feedback & Technical Support)

I posted a very funny 4'33'' joke on a thread about Cage. Right after that I made a very witty Hitler-Wagner comparison on the Wagner thread. Several days have passed, yet I have yet to receive a single like from either of those posts. Is there some kind of bug preventing people from liking my posts or what? Both posts were worth 10 likes at least.


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> *Other members can't like my posts?* (Site Feedback & Technical Support)
> 
> I posted a very funny 4'33'' joke on a thread about Cage. Right after that I made a very witty Hitler-Wagner comparison on the Wagner thread. Several days have passed, yet I have yet to receive a single like from either of those posts. Is there some kind of bug preventing people from liking my posts or what? Both posts were worth 10 likes at least.


Just move them to Stupid Thread Ideas--I copy my likeless posts there and they always pick up at least 3 or 4, sometimes more than 10 or 20. Incidentally, I eventually discovered _all_ my posts--with the exception of those from Current Listening--do better there.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is Bach so perfect and why do I love him so much?


----------



## arpeggio

Popular classical works that stink.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> *Other members can't like my posts?* (Site Feedback & Technical Support)
> 
> I posted a very funny 4'33'' joke on a thread about Cage. Right after that I made a very witty Hitler-Wagner comparison on the Wagner thread. Several days have passed, yet I have yet to receive a single like from either of those posts. Is there some kind of bug preventing people from liking my posts or what? Both posts were worth 10 likes at least.


It must be a fault at your end. I copied and pasted your unliked posts and quickly received a lot of likes for them.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Best Muzak*

A. Mozart
B. Schoenberg
C. Kenny G
D. Britney Spears
E. Milton Babbitt
F. Other

So, what's your favorite elevator music? Previously I would have said Mozart, but I've gotten tired of spending half an hour in an elevator every time I hear one of his string quintets. Now I'd favor Schoenberg's Sechs kleine Klavierstücke--especially as I work in a 6-story building. What do you think? Please vote in the poll and explain your reasons.


----------



## Balthazar

I have noticed a near one-to-one correspondence between “unpopular” works that I like and underrated works of greatness.

Likewise, my list of overrated works matches perfectly the list of popular pieces that really aren’t great to begin with.

It’s uncanny!

Has anyone else experienced this, or am I unique in how closely my personal preferences track objective greatness?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Most obnoxious TC member?

-Abraham Lincoln
-A. Lincoln
-A. L.
-Abraham L.
-Lincoln
-VPO still practicing Nazi policy?


Poll: Is Bach perfect?

-Yes
-Yes
-Ja
-Of course
-Yeah
-Yup
-HELL YES
-All of the above


Poll: Vote for your favourite. (pick ONE)

-4'33"
-Wagner Hitlers
-VPO still practicing Nazi policy?
-Stupid Thread Ideas
-Phillip Glass Phillip Glass Phillip Glass Glass Glass Glass 
-ComposerOfAvantGarde
-Steven Universe
-Arturo Toscanini
-Polls
-Creepy pictures


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Funny, creepy, and boring pictures to brighten, darken, and gray your day, night, and evening.


----------



## Guest

The relentless grinding drudgery of your life - Come in and share!


----------



## arpeggio

I am really freaking out over the obsessions that some of our members have over Alma Deutscher. They carry on as if she is the greatest child prodigy since Mozart.

I am surprised that no one has yet mentioned that the owner of this fine forum, Frederik Magle, was a child prodigy who started composing when he was seven.


----------



## Dim7

Mods should have a "deletion count"


----------



## Dim7

arpeggio said:


> I am really freaking out over the obsessions that some of our members have over Alma Deutscher. They carry on as if she is the greatest child prodigy since Mozart.
> 
> I am surprised that no one has yet mentioned that the owner of this fine forum, Frederik Magle, was a child prodigy who started composing when he was seven.


What has this seemingly serious rant about Alma to do with STI?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Seemingly Serious Rants.


----------



## arpeggio

Dim7 said:


> What has this seemingly serious rant about Alma to do with STI?


You are correct, nothing. I just had to get it off of my chest and this was the only thread I thought I could do it in. Sorry.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Write nonsensical stories, the wackier the better. Example:

Once upon a time, a far time ago in a car exhaust long, long away, there was a pair of contact lenses that was a sparkling shade of azure in the rump and had the ability to count onions. Tragically, eight zebras zipped Katy Perry open to cause a Michael Bay explosion that covered all of North Korea in golden-yellow homosexual octopi and invented the church. I sat alone on Joseph Goebbels's custom made liquid ceiling fan, mentally calculating the mangosteen of forty Mexican politicians and half a gold nugget in the nose of the planet Neptune scooping out a radioactive dictionary in a joyful hamster. Nevertheless, Bill Clinton was still a heptagon that fed on porcelain and grew trilobites in his right armpit. The vampires' newly publish novel sighed in pure fruit punch. Undulating Bolsheviks went trick-or-treating. Despite the unfathomable fact that it was raining insurance managers, Scriabin had a nice butt. While at a funeral for a stinky Martian password, Steve Jobs whispered two very important things into the stubby tentacle of a sassy pair of scissors. "Llama underpants have the texture of idiotic cereal, and Schubert's homegrown papayas taste like a hippomonstrosesquippedaliophobic raccoon standing under unattractive peridots." For the third time, slime tumbled out of a blue screen of life, praying that Hitler would someday be able to marry his precious tissue box in the northern region of Dim7's forehead. Consequently, the monopoly guy burst a Instragram-using cupcake using a gravity wig that was once owned by a late Volkswagen that played basketball on top of a radish wearing a sari made out of sharks' tears and I died.


----------



## Dim7

Do you have a context?

Are you in a situation?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Beethoven gray?


----------



## Dim7

Seemingly Stupid Ideas


----------



## Guest

The labyrinthine forms of stupidity.

(with diagrams)


----------



## Guest

Do you look askance at bebop?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Are You A Sociopath?


----------



## Dim7

Tell us what do you think about the next poster


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Bet*

Anyone want to place a wager on who will win the next Grawemeyer? The loser has to change their name to whatever the winner says.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Write nonsensical stories, the wackier the better.


Chapter 1

riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of nonsense stories to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Stupid Thread Ideas some hundredyhundred supplepages backrearward. Albert7, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, had passencore rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight hispossts surreally: nor had topsawyer's rocks by Albert's stream Oconsceens assenserated themselse to TalkClassical's membrios while they went multiply multiplyin their mumper all the time: nor avoice from afire bellowsed mistery misterie to tauftauf thuart peatrick: not yet, though venissoon after, had a kidscad moonyluna sonasona tatatata buttended a replying surrealy bonanza hilarioselose: not yet, though all's fair in vaneyessy, were sospiro septimal wroth with tritone nathanb.

(with sincere apologies to JJ)


----------



## Dim7

Are You A Genocidal Megalomaniac?


----------



## Dim7

*If You Like So-and-So....*

The rules: A poster names one composer they like. The next poster says what does it tell about him as a person, and mentions a composer he likes himself.

(Oh..I have a bad feeling about this....)

Okay - first:

If I like Wagner, that means I'm.......?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> *If You Like So-and-So....*
> 
> The rules: A poster names one composer they like. The next poster says what does it tell about him as a person, and mentions a composer he likes himself.
> 
> (Oh..I have a bad feeling about this....)
> 
> Okay - first:
> 
> If I like Wagner, that means I'm.......?


You were right to feel bad. Of course it shows you're a pink nazi.

Me next: Grayson Perry.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> You were right to feel bad. Of course it shows your a pink nazi.
> 
> Me next: Grayson Perry.


You're 55? (Because Perry is.)


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> You're 55? (Because Perry is.)


I'm 55, although that is only a coincidence.


----------



## Dim7

*Random thoughts*

Great caterpillar is not what Leonardo da Vinci tells us it is not. There are some things in a grape fruit. But beware of the rabbit cake, for aeroplanes will play with the tortoise heads.


----------



## clavichorder

Dim7 said:


> *Random thoughts*
> 
> Great caterpillar is not what Leonardo da Vinci tells us it is not. There are some things in a grape fruit. But beware of the rabbit cake, for aeroplanes will play with the tortoise heads.


*Maybe you should make that thread*

I made habit typewriting ostensibly under pseudo fortifications where yearned bran thoughts generated monetary altitude. Thesaurus cognates grant cogs circulating pillars of austere postures. Ostrich testicles defeat thine rotund boredom forsooth yonder catacomb. Circulations and a shaking of the notoriously branched dendricles fir tree hath sordid hypodermic etruscan addicts.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> If I like Wagner, that means I'm.......?


It means you're a sick, twisted pedophile.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Match the composer to the piece they wrote that fits the best with their personality. Example: Wagner ー Ride of the Valkyries.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Are You The Messiah?


----------



## Blancrocher

Is the concept of "genus" meaningful to you, or do you find it needlessly divisive?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Taxonomy and melody: a harmony?


----------



## Dim7

Do you look down on intelligent people?


----------



## Balthazar

Does Taylor Swift look down on you?


----------



## Dr Johnson

^^

I misread that for a moment.

I'll get my coat.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What does indication actually popularize?


----------



## Dim7

How can we do better to alienate members registered during 2013-2014 here on TC?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Is Dim7 actually Hitler?*


----------



## Dim7

Tolerable pictures to not do anything particular to your day


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Breaking news: Thread on internet forum infested with wombats and angry sharp-toothed green-skinned aliens


----------



## Dim7

*The Irony Thread*

Too much irony on this forum. For a change, let's be strictly sincere and serious in this thread.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> *The Irony Thread*
> 
> Too much irony on this forum. For a change, let's be strictly sincere and serious in this thread.


Wow, what a great thread idea! Possibly the best ever! :tiphat:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln




----------



## arpeggio

I really hate myself. How can I address the problems I have with me without violating the TOS.


----------



## arpeggio

I really hate Elliott Carter. I only tell people that I like Carter to give them the impression I am open minded.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

That's the spirit arpeggio! You're learning how it's done.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Richannes Wrahms, how does it feel like to be a perma-fusion of two completely different composers?


----------



## Dim7

Concepts I managed to deconstruct (accidentally). Grr!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is the concept of "Dim7" meaningful to you?


----------



## Blancrocher

*Page Turner Thread*









Hi everybody! This is the thread where we discuss the essential but seldom discussed professionals who lift sheets of music out of the way for the comparatively over-exposed soloists! That's right!! This is the page-turner's time to shine! I'll confess that when I go to a concert, it's seldom to see a great ensemble or musician, or even, frankly, to hear the music. I'm there for the page-turner. It's like magic. S/he is sitting there unobtrusively behind a pianist, intently watching him or her play a piece of music that should be memorized by now--and suddenly the page-turner leaps into action! They all have their own styles, affectations, and graceful innovations.

Just watch this, starting at about the 11-minute mark. Richter is hamming it up, making emotional faces during the sentimental conclusion of a slow-movement from an early work by Mozart. And then, the class! the precision!--one of the finest page-turns I've ever seen.






Please mention your favorite page-turners, post action shots, discuss practical and theoretical issues of page-turning, and other matters pertaining to the art.


----------



## Dim7

There is something really strange and awkward about page turners. Are there any people named Page Turner, btw?


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> There is something really strange and awkward about page turners.


I've always found counterturners a bit creepy, I'll admit, but I understand they're necessary if the soloist happens to be dyslexic.


----------



## TresPicos

Blancrocher said:


> Please mention your favorite page-turners, post action shots, discuss practical and theoretical issues of page-turning, and other matters pertaining to the art.


I'm tempted to create that shadowy CincoPicos account, just so I could give you two likes. But I know there are mods reading this thread, so I don't want to risk it. One small mistake, and you have them right outside your house forever, revving their scooters and blasting that 50s/60s music at all hours.


----------



## Huilunsoittaja

Marriage : Prejudice or a Crime?

:lol: More funny than stupid, it would be amusing topic.


----------



## Dim7

the most depressing page turner


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stupid Page Turners


----------



## Kieran

I'm a bit of a history buff, as you know, and often wonder what it would be like to have a cappuccino and chinwag with geezers like Attila the Hun, or Genghis Khan. But what about an historical figure seeing the world today? I think the following threads would be marvelous:

_Would Beethoven think computers are stupid?

Would Wagner be addicted to daytime soaps?

What would Julius Caesar say if he met a piano? *Veni, Vidi, VTF?*
_
I think that stuff like this would generate erudite and detailed conversations about how times change...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Robert/Clara Schumann the first great transgender composer?


----------



## Dim7

Can Stupid Thread Ideas be classified as high art?


----------



## Dim7

"North Korea" subforum - for those who want a little extra moderation


----------



## Blancrocher

*Viola Joke*

Or was that redundant?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

How Good Is Your Rear?


----------



## Dim7

How Evil Is Your Nose?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How anti-Semitic are you?


----------



## Dim7

The 2105th thing you ate


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Classical Music Misreadings

i.e. Pierrot Lunaire -> Peridot Lunaire


----------



## Dim7

Ways to get rid of writers


----------



## SimonNZ

Was Mozart The First Minimalist Composer?

I just found an old lp at the secondhand store and in the middle of side one there's a quite daring and modern section where the same twelve note pattern is played for at least four and a half hours (I had to stop because the neighbours complained, but I hope to hear the whole work soon!)


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ways to get writer's block


----------



## arpeggio

Be to or be too?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

arpeggio said:


> Be to or be too?


B2?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Bars of the Critish Lainmand


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Did Alice falling through a hole to another world prefigured the Heideggerian concept of Dasein?


----------



## Dim7

Ways to get rid off political opponents - aspiring dictator seeking advice


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

The first thing you ate?


----------



## arpeggio

Was J. S. Bach the first great composer or the last great composer?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stupid Thread Ideas Idon'tknowwhatanythingisAAAAAARGH


----------



## Dim7

Steal my memories of Tower Records, HMV, Virgin Megastore, and other CD stores!


----------



## Huilunsoittaja

Thread for ideas on how to make unsavory holidays more savory.

Let's talk about how we can turn Columbus day into a Hallmark/get-drunk/buy-stuff holiday! Don't let Veterans Day get you down! Let's keep making more and more holidays HAPPY DAYS so the world happiness level gets more and more! Life is short so don't lose a chance for a party!

:tiphat:


----------



## arpeggio

Scientific studies concerning how the human brain interacts with music is garbage if the findings contradict my musical judgments.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

What happens in the afterlife - Come in and share!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Imagine you were hired by Salieri to kill Mozart. How would you do it?


----------



## Dim7

*Greetings, a Wagner fan here*

(Posted in New Members - Introductions)

Hello - another Wagnerian has joined. Besides the great master, I'm a huge fan of the Austro-German tradition in general (really, Austria and Germany are one and the same as far as I'm concerned...), particularly Beethoven, Mozart, Bruckner, Richard Strauss etc. There are some exceptions though - I'm not too much into Mendelssohn, Mahler or Schoenberg (even his tonal works) for instance - I'm not sure why.

I joined TC because of special life circumstances I can't really do what I'm best at - which is holding speeches, preferably for large audiences. So I've been recently writing a book about challenges I've had to overcome in my career and my future aspirations, and I've also got some extra time to write here when I get tired of that. Although I do admit to having quite strong political views, I promise that I have come here to talk about music and not to pick a fight.

I'm also interested in painting and architecture. I'm an animal lover and a vegetarian - I like dogs in particular.

Okay, that's about it. Hope to get along with you.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> (Posted in New Members - Introductions)
> 
> Hello - another Wagnerian has joined. Besides the great master, I'm a huge fan of the Austro-German tradition in general (really, Austria and Germany are one and the same as far as I'm concerned...), particularly Beethoven, Mozart, Bruckner, Richard Strauss etc. There are some exceptions though - I'm not too much into Mendelssohn, Mahler or Schoenberg (even his tonal works) for instance - I'm not sure why.
> 
> I joined this because of special life circumstances I can't really do what I'm best at - which is holding speeches, preferably for large audiences. So I've been recently writing a book about challenges I've had to overcome in my career and my future aspirations, and I've also got some extra time to write here when I get tired of that. Although I do admit to having quite strong political views, I promise that I have come here to talk about music and not to pick a fight.
> 
> I'm also interested in painting and architecture. I'm an animal lover and a vegetarian - I like dogs in particular.
> 
> Okay, that's about it. Hope to get along with you.


Pleased to meet you! Would love to take Blondi for a walk!


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> (Posted in New Members - Introductions)
> 
> Hello - another Wagnerian has joined. Besides the great master, I'm a huge fan of the Austro-German tradition in general (really, Austria and Germany are one and the same as far as I'm concerned...), particularly Beethoven, Mozart, Bruckner, Richard Strauss etc. There are some exceptions though - I'm not too much into Mendelssohn, Mahler or Schoenberg (even his tonal works) for instance - I'm not sure why.
> 
> I joined TC because of special life circumstances I can't really do what I'm best at - which is holding speeches, preferably for large audiences. So I've been recently writing a book about challenges I've had to overcome in my career and my future aspirations, and I've also got some extra time to write here when I get tired of that. Although I do admit to having quite strong political views, I promise that I have come here to talk about music and not to pick a fight.
> 
> I'm also interested in painting and architecture. I'm an animal lover and a vegetarian - I like dogs in particular.
> 
> Okay, that's about it. Hope to get along with you.


Any plans for foreign travel?


----------



## Dim7

What truly makes an evil orchestrator?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are there people losing their minds, what do you do?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Wagner: Did He Kill Joseph Keilberth and Felix Mottl?


----------



## arpeggio

Even though my favorite composer is Beethoven why is it that I still enjoy Schoenberg, Berg, Webern, Carter, _etc._?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Wagner: Did he kill Toscanini?


----------



## Guest

Poll.

WTC or WTF?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Well-Tempered Clavier vs. World Trade Center


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> Poll.
> 
> *WTC* or WTF?


The Women's Timber Corps?


----------



## clavichorder

Post images of Alpha Males looking self satisfied.

It brings the rest of us up to see these boys doing their thang.


----------



## trazom

clavichorder said:


> Post images of Alpha Males looking self satisfied.
> 
> It brings the rest of us up to see *these boys doing their thang*.




By doing their thing you mean playing a nice quiet game of Charades, I hope?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

clavichorder said:


> Post images of Alpha Males looking self satisfied.
> 
> It brings the rest of us up to see these boys doing their thang.












Like this?


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: I'll play the role of a fruit and vegetable merchant. You tell me what you want to buy, I tell you the price. You can haggle over the price.


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> Fun Game: I'll play the role of a fruit and vegetable merchant. You tell me what you want to buy, I tell you the price. You can haggle over the price.


Will you also sell chestnuts, flowers, mushrooms and plain grass? Or is it strictly fruit and vegetables? Will it perhaps be possible to determine the range of products by haggling also? Please let me know - I'm eager to start playing!


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> Will you also sell chestnuts, flowers, mushrooms and plain grass? Or is it strictly fruit and vegetables? Will it perhaps be possible to determine the range of products by haggling also? Please let me know - I'm eager to start playing!


Indeed. I'm concerned about the status of physalis.


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Will you also sell chestnuts, flowers, mushrooms and plain grass? Or is it strictly fruit and vegetables? Will it perhaps be possible to determine the range of products by haggling also? Please let me know - I'm eager to start playing!


So far I have only fruits and vegetables - but if there's enough demand I might add those to my catalogue.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was J. S. Bach gay?


----------



## arpeggio

Have you given up on any TC poster?


----------



## Dim7

Total serialism and pop music


----------



## TxllxT

*The Difference Between Americans And Russians*

A Russian (who is not so fluent in English) asks an American: We are in a crisis; can you help?
American: Economy, Economy!!
Russian: Iconomy? -- Ah, yes! Icons, Icons! спаси́бо (spasíbo)!


----------



## Balthazar

*Area 51*

Is insufferable arrogance an infractable offense?


----------



## clavichorder

trazom said:


> By doing their thing you mean playing a nice quiet game of Charades, I hope?


Poor trazom. His beta mentality is so deeply ingrained that he can't even imagine a state of Alphahood close to reality.


----------



## Dim7

Why do you like Hitler?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Adjective Nouns to Verb Your Noun


----------



## trazom

clavichorder said:


> Poor trazom. His beta mentality is so deeply ingrained that he can't even imagine a state of Alphahood close to reality.


That's what happens when I spend too much time reading your posts.


----------



## clavichorder

trazom said:


> That's what happens when I spend too much time reading your posts.


You pay attention to me? That makes me very happy!


----------



## Dim7

Finish me off with Bartók


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is Dim7 so obsessed with Hitler?


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why is Dim7 so obsessed with Hitler?


Isn't everyone obsessed with Hitler? I'm pretty average in my Hitler obsession I think.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Finish me off with Bartók


Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Isn't everyone obsessed with Hitler? I'm pretty average in my Hitler obsession I think.


I'm not obsessed with Hitler. I personally think Wagner was a much cooler fascist!


----------



## Dim7

Ever had any normal dreams?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Match the composer to the composer


----------



## Dim7

If you would reply to this thread, what would you write?


----------



## Guest

Why do atoms atom?


----------



## Dim7

classical composers that you intimidate in some way


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

classical composers that intimate you


----------



## Aramis

Is Arnold Schwarzenegger classical music?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why are skeletons so spoopy?


----------



## Huilunsoittaja

Why are uncreators so uncreative?


----------



## Guest

Classical composers that imply you.


----------



## Dim7

The Classical Music thread


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Did Alma Deutscher eat the ghost of Mozart to gain his prodigious musical abilities?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Mozart poisoned by Alma Deutscher?


----------



## Dim7

Deutscher, Wagner, Cage's 4'33, Atonality and Nazis - they are all connected


----------



## Blancrocher

Which composer would you date a couple times?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Which composer would you carbon date?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Which composer would like dates?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Front from exile


----------



## Balthazar

*Pursuing Composers*

Discuss the last composer you chased down.

Feel free to touch on any special tactics used, the duration of the pursuit, and whether you caught him or he got away.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Guess a theme solely on its feet.

For example:

trochee trochee
tribach trochee
tribach trochee
tribach trochee
cretic cretic
trochee

Whomever guesses this one correctly gets 10 points. Hint: it's from an opera.


----------



## Dim7

Guess a poster solely on their feet.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Guess a sole on its feet.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why can't I like my own posts?


----------



## Pugg

Blancrocher said:


> Which composer would you date a couple times?


​


----------



## Dim7

Works that resemble other works at least slightly: do they exist?


----------



## Dim7

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeklete


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Which composer would you hate?


----------



## Guest

Discuss politics.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How short are you?


----------



## Dim7

Does anyone actually like Beethoven?


----------



## Blancrocher

*My Excellent Idea Thread*

Please don't post in this thread until I've posted my excellent idea. I don't have it yet, but I wanted to reserve a spot for it in case it takes me awhile to come up with one.


----------



## Guest

Posts you hate.


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Is this list representative of 20th century music from 1912 by Schoenberg which features sprechstimme in a song cycle?

- Pierrot Lunaire


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was J. S. Bach lesbian?


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Was Abraham Lincoln lesbian?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was ComposerOfAvantGarde lesbian?


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Was ComposerOfAvantGarde lesbian?


Is TC member 'Abraham Lincoln' lesbian?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is TC member 'ComposerOfAvantGarde' lesbian?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Are the Rhinemaidens lesbians or stupid?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

More importantly, is Richannes Wrahms a lesbian?


----------



## Dim7

Olfactory puns


----------



## Guest

Racism can be great art: discuss.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

What _may_ have happened in your life If you _hadn't done that one thing_.


----------



## Dim7

Why listeners smell


----------



## Gouldanian

Could've Schoenberg been nothing but a cat walking on a piano?


----------



## Dim7

Britishness in STIs


----------



## SeptimalTritone

dogen said:


> Classical composers that imply you.


Good composers make me think, and Descartes once said something, so...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Really Big Text Thread


----------



## Guest

Defend the indefensible (in 2000 words or more).


----------



## Blancrocher

dogen said:


> Defend the indefensible (in 2000 words or more).


Good luck with that--the mods deleted my "Lang Lang Appreciation Thread" before it even got a single response.


----------



## Dim7

SSGI (Stupid Social Group Idea):

Melody Haters United


----------



## Dim7

TC members who are not exactly "great", nor intelligent - maybe even outright stupid, probably ugly as hell and mentally disturbed, smelly and utterly immoral - but for some reason, I like them


----------



## Balthazar

^ I get my own thread? Awesome!


----------



## Dim7

STIs - What to Get / What to Avoid?


----------



## Dim7

Why is Stockhausen so popular among teenage girls?


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Why is classical music so popular among classical music fans?


----------



## Dim7

Why is Dim7 regarded as the most important intellectual of the 21th century?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is Dim7 such a DimWit?


----------



## Triplets

How The Party Of Lincoln Devolved Into the Party of Trump


----------



## Dim7

(Posted in Orchestral music)

Violins, yes or no?


----------



## Guest

Name that Tune in Three: Fat German wearing a horned helmet.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Great animal instrumentalists.


----------



## Guest

Favourite posts that you didn't read.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

On a scale of 1 to Frankenstein vampire Nazi Wagner wielding a guitar machine gun, rate the previous poster's thread idea on how stupid it is.


----------



## Dim7

Help me die


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Help me dine...


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

*How do I edit the forum rules?*

Hi forum staff, there are things written in the forum rules that I have decided I no longer agree with. In order to post what I want to post, could you please show me where I can edit the rules and ToS to suit my needs? Like make the place for over 18 year olds only? I suspect that young people don't like classical music so they won't bother clicking on a link to Talk Classical. They'd never find all the NSFW composer pics I want to post.

Thanxxx

ComposerOfHottieBabeUSA


----------



## Guest

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> They'd never find all the NSFW composer pics I want to post.


I've seen those pics, and whatever they are, they most assuredly are NOT composers.


----------



## Lucifer Saudade

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why is Dim7 such a DimWit?


I would actually like to know the answer to that one...

Why don't teens read Finnegans Wake these days?


----------



## Dim7

Lucifer Saudade said:


> Abraham Lincoln said:
> 
> 
> 
> Why is Dim7 such a DimWit?
> 
> 
> 
> I would actually like to know the answer to that one...
Click to expand...

Hey that's mean.


----------



## Dim7

It does indeed suck, and for a good reason I hate it


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The joy of Bolshevism


----------



## Dim7

Richannes Wrahms said:


> The joy of Bolshevism


Bought any VPO recordings recently? Attended their performances?


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

dogen said:


> I've seen those pics, and whatever they are, they most assuredly are NOT composers.


You just don't know what they 'compose'


----------



## arpeggio

With the exception of Mahler, Debussy, Ravel, Rachmaninoff, Shostakovich, Vaughan Williams, Britten, Holst, Lloyd, Arnold, Hanson, Barber, Piston, Kennan, Rochberg, Bernstein, Gershwin, John Williams, Aho, Rautavaara, Sallinen, late Penderecki, Part and Vasks all 20th Century music is atonal trash.


----------



## arpeggio

arpeggio said:


> With the exception of Mahler, Debussy, Ravel, Rachmaninoff, Shostakovich, Vaughan Williams, Britten, Holst, Lloyd, Arnold, Hanson, Barber, Piston, Kennan, Rochberg, Bernstein, Gershwin, John Williams, Aho, Rautavaara, Sallinen, late Penderecki, Part and Vasks all 20th Century music is atonal trash.


Oops! Forgot Adams, Mennotti, Rorem, Diamond, Danialpour, Heggie, Grantham, Gillingham, Maslanka and .... I give up.


----------



## Lucifer Saudade

Dim7 said:


> Hey that's mean.


Did I forget the ""just kidding" part again...

Aho? Quiet unfortunate for your name to translate to "idiot" in Japanese...


----------



## Dim7

arpeggio said:


> Oops! Forgot Adams, Mennotti, Rorem, Diamond, Danialpour, Heggie, Grantham, Gillingham, Maslanka and .... I give up.


Sibelius, Delius, R. Strauss, Bartók, Stravinsky, Glass, Reich.....


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Dim7 said:


> Sibelius, Delius, R. Strauss, Bartók, Stravinsky, Glass, Reich.....


Xenakis, Stockhausen, Boulez, Cage, Feldman, Carter, Ligeti, Lutosławski, early Penderecki, Oliveros, the 2nd Viennese School....


----------



## Dim7

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Xenakis, Stockhausen, Boulez, Cage, Feldman, Carter, Ligeti, Lutosławski, early Penderecki, Oliveros, the 2nd Viennese School....


But those are "ato***"


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers you would stack on top of one another to create the ultimate musical totem pole


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composers you would stack on top of one another to create the ultimate musical totem pole


Composers you would stack on top of one another in an extremely suggestive way


----------



## SeptimalTritone

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Composers you would stack on top of one another in an extremely suggestive way


Unsuk Chin.....


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

*SeptimalTritone's Asian Fetish*

Don't you think it's going a bit far?


----------



## arpeggio

Are classical music polls difficult?

Yes
No
Unsure
Depends
Who cares


----------



## Gouldanian

What makes a kids opt for an uncool instrument like the bassoon?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

"Composers you would stack on top of one another in an extremely suggestive way"


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

TurnaboutVox said:


> "Composers you would stack on top of one another in an extremely suggestive way"


----------



## Dim7

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> *SeptimalTritone's Asian Fetish*
> 
> Don't you think it's going a bit far?


If SeptimalTritone was exclusively into white women, nobody would say that he had a "white fetish". But when he is really into asian women, and not even exclusively so (I think), he is said to have an "Asian fetish" - even though he is actually half-Asian himself. This is basically white ethnocentricst thinking where being white is considered "normal" and "neutral" and that makes you Coag a.....


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Dim7 said:


> If SeptimalTritone was exclusively into white women, nobody would say that he had a "white fetish". But when he is really into asian women, and not even exclusively so (I think), he is said to have an "Asian fetish" - even though he is actually half-Asian himself. This is basically white ethnocentricst thinking where being white is considered "normal" and "neutral" and that makes you Coag a.....


that makes me aware of what SeptimalTritone doesn't deny



SeptimalTritone said:


> If after reading the post you're replying to, you're _questioning_ whether I have a fetish, then something is very wrong...


----------



## Dim7

Serious pictures to stave off the comedy


----------



## Dim7

Thank me


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is ComposerOfAvantGarde such a pervert?

Does ComposerOfAvantGarde spend his spare time gazing at Donna Dralle's naked composers?

Is ComposerOfAvantGarde lesbian?

Are we all secretly ComposerOfAvantGarde???!!


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> Thank me


Thank you and a few syllables more or else my post is to short


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Now that I think of it, why is Abraham Lincoln even on this forum anyway? Wasn't he assassinated in 1865?


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Now that I think of it, why is Abraham Lincoln even on this forum anyway? Wasn't he assassinated in 1865?


Please do enlighten us


----------



## Dr Johnson

TurnaboutVox said:


> "Composers you would stack on top of one another in an extremely suggestive way"


We could have a totem poll! 

(Coat, getting etc)


----------



## helenora

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Now that I think of it, why is Abraham Lincoln even on this forum anyway? Wasn't he assassinated in 1865?


The dead are invisible, not absent. Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430)....of which we have a proof here on TC  and not even invisible since they have avatars now ...or they are Avatars.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dr Johnson said:


> We could have a totem poll!
> 
> (Coat, getting etc)


*stacks Nereffid on top of Nereffid on top of Nereffid on top of Nereffid on top of Nereffid on top of Nereffid*

Like this?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Perhaps with slightly less Nereffids.


----------



## Dim7

Dr Johnson said:


> Perhaps with slightly less Nereffids.


Interesting thread idea.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> Interesting thread idea.


Providing it's understood that I mean no disrespect to Nereffid.


----------



## Guest

Answer a loaded question with a loaded question

Random thoughts and discoveries that are definitely nowhere near deserving a whole thread to themselves


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Your favourite Benedict Arnold symphony


----------



## Dim7

The Joy of Modems


----------



## Dr Johnson

The Day of the Nereffids.


----------



## Dim7

Answer a question with a nihilistic rant about how it's all pointless anyway because oblivion awaits us all and everything is so subjective and there is no morality and standards and life is suffering blahblah...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

The Joy of Sadness


----------



## Dim7

the thread about claptrap you like


----------



## Dim7

Geert Wilders as a muslim woman?


----------



## Guest

The Joy of Hierarchy.


----------



## Dr Johnson

The Joy of Malarkey.


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> Geert Wilders as a muslim woman?


Ouch, beware, before you know it he's suing you :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Expressions you find acceptable


----------



## arpeggio

For the ∞ time what great composers do you hate?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What great composers would you be romantically involved with?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

My feelings for Beethoven are beyond platonic. Is this normal?


----------



## Dim7

The last expression that you ate


----------



## Blancrocher

Abraham Lincoln said:


> What great composers would you be romantically involved with?


Anonymous, probably. It makes things less complicated.


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Expressions that you find will turn you on when spoken in a particular register


----------



## arpeggio

The impressions I have of expressions.


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Arpeggio expressing his impressions on expressions.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Frollo actually Rachmaninov?


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Is Rachmaninov actually Rachmaninoff?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are Rachmaninov and Rachmaninoff actually Rakhmaninow?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The joy of inhaling carcinogenic fumes 
smokers are *****, we smoke industrial fires


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

The joy of being set in jewellry


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

Abraham Lincoln said:


> The joy of being set in jewellry


Jewellery*

Why can no one ever spell that word right?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Words You Had To Eat after posting them in anger on a 'Tonalism vs Atonalism' thread


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

The Joy of Joy of Joy of Joy of Joy of Joy of Joy of Joy of...


----------



## Dim7

Random creatures and objects that appear out of nowhere for no reason


----------



## Balthazar

*Join the Campaign to Free Britney!*

*
*Enough is enough! We must stop the power-crazed mods from exercising their authority in such capricious and authoritarian ways.

While the contentious Wagner thread was reopened in a mere 36 hours, the "Milton Babbitt vs. Britney Spears" thread remains locked for 32 days and counting.

This is a travesty of justice on a scale never before seen. Some of us spent literally tens of seconds Googling humorous photos for that thread. Were our labors in vain? Doesn't Wilhelmina's voice deserve to be heard once more in all its rich baritonal splendor?

We will be holding an organizational meeting next Tuesday in the chatroom immediately following the 12-Step Meeting for Serialism Survivors. (Those guys are troupers!)

Come dressed as either Babbitt or Britney and get 20 "likes" on the house.


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> *
> *Enough is enough! We must stop the power-crazed mods from exercising their authority in such capricious and authoritarian ways.
> 
> While the contentious Wagner thread was reopened in a mere 36 hours, the "Milton Babbitt vs. Britney Spears" thread remains locked for 32 days and counting.
> 
> This is a travesty of justice on a scale never before seen. Some of us spent literally tens of seconds Googling humorous photos for that thread. Were our labors in vain? Doesn't Wilhelmina's voice deserve to be heard once more in all its rich baritonal splendor?
> 
> We will be holding an organizational meeting next Tuesday in the chatroom immediately following the 12-Step Meeting for Serialism Survivors. (Those guys are troupers!)
> 
> Come dressed as either Babbitt or Britney and get 20 "likes" on the house.


Are you sure we need another two and a half thousand pointless photographs?


----------



## TresPicos

*Posts that will get you banned*

Due to the fact that posts that get users banned are removed from view by the mods, it is difficult for other TC users to get a sense of exactly how much you can misbehave before you are banned. There are many downsides to this. For example, you might get banned for a post you think is perfectly fine, just because you don't know where the lines are drawn. And even worse, since you are unsure of the boundaries, you might start behaving better than you need to, just to be sure, leaving tons of "misbehaving space" unused. And with everyone being too nice, the moderating skills of the mods will become blunt and then, when their intervention is really needed, they might no longer notice or care.

If we can't get the mods to create a "posts that will get you banned" thread with educational borderline and across-the-line posts, we should create such a thread ourselves. We start with some annoying post, and then we post worse and worse posts until someone is finally banned. Then we know. You can call the atonalists or the Mahler fans this, but not that. And once we know, we can safely post mean-but-not-too-mean and reckless-but-not-too-reckless posts in other TC threads, spicing up an excellent, but sometimes too bleak and bland TC forum.

Also, such a thread could be very exciting - almost like a Jenga game, or eating fugu! And we could have a betting thread accompanying it, where TC users (but not the mods, of course) could place bets on who will come closest to being banned.


----------



## Guest

Picos,
I never knew classical music could be so exciting.

Can I start with £20 on COAG to go first. The odds will be rubbish of course, but I want to start with a solid gold cert.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

...


...I shall just hide in my teacup until it's over.


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

dogen said:


> Picos,
> I never knew classical music could be so exciting.
> 
> Can I start with £20 on COAG to go first. The odds will be rubbish of course, but I want to start with a solid gold cert.


You've already won, just tellin ya


----------



## Dim7

Use of opera music in torture


----------



## Guest

dogen said:


> Can I start with £20 on COAG to go first.


I claim my prize.


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> I claim my prize.


What just happened?! 

Hm, guess I'm next for instigating the whole thing...


----------



## TresPicos

double post ......................................


----------



## Guest

Polemics: Destroying the opposition.


----------



## Dim7

Holy **** look who was banned after Coag and Aramis.


----------



## Dim7

How Bolshevik You Are As a Listener Of Classical Music?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Frederik Magle is such a hacker that he still has his avatar even after he got banned. I'm impressed.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*Does anyone actually like clavichorder?*

I'm a hardcore HIPoster and adore the sound of HarpsichordConcerto, Pianoforte, etc. but when it comes to clavichorder, after many many attempts to try to appreciate it, I've pretty much decided it's just an ugly sounding username.


----------



## Dim7

Can you predict what will be your last piece of classical music?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Petition to change the entire forum's font to Comic Sans MS.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

why everybody bully celery

celery no poison mozar

are only movie

celery a great compose!

pls no buly the celery!!!!


----------



## arpeggio

Gouldanian said:


> What makes a kids opt for an uncool instrument like the bassoon?


BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:scold:


----------



## arpeggio

This is really not a stupid thread idea just a general comment.

90% of the time when a thread asks a question I have no idea what the answer is.  Then when I read the thread I discover there are many members who think they know the answer that really do not know much more about classical music than I do.


----------



## sospiro

arpeggio said:


> ... 90% of the time when a thread asks a question I have no idea what the answer is.


90% of the time I have no idea what the question means


----------



## Gouldanian

arpeggio said:


> BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:scold:


Sorry, I had too!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OOB


----------



## Dim7

Something you wish your favorite philosopher had deconstructed, but did not.


----------



## Dim7

Racist pamphlets you wish your favorite composers had written, but did not


----------



## Guest

Guitar effects pedals of the Baroque.


----------



## Dim7

The most indecent position you like


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> The most indecent position you like


I have been known to listen to my gramophone recordings whilst not wearing even a jacket, with my shoes off and my carpet slippers on, and with my tie loosened. I like to recline in a louche and slovenly manner on the settee whilst doing so. There!


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> I have been known to listen to my gramophone recordings whilst not wearing even a jacket, with my shoes off and my carpet slippers on, and with my tie loosened. I like to recline in a louche and slovenly manner on the settee whilst doing so. There!


How positively uncouth.


----------



## Guest

Post your favourite gagaku mashup.


----------



## Guest

How many Ring doughnuts do you have?


----------



## arpeggio

How can we tell an egotistical SPEOE that he is a schmuck without violated the TOS? :scold:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why are so many composers cisgender heterosexual males???!!


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> I have been known to listen to my gramophone recordings whilst not wearing even a jacket, with my shoes off and my carpet slippers on, and with my tie loosened. I like to recline in a louche and slovenly manner on the *settee *whilst doing so. There!


Or sofa? Reclining louchely on which provides the best environment for wrapping yourself in dreamy relaxing classical? We should be told!


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why are so many composers cisgender heterosexual males???!!


Males definitely yes overwhelmingly, but "cisgender heterosexual" is debatable.....


----------



## Dim7

Help me confuse this piece with another one


----------



## Dim7

What post are you currently posting to this thread?


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> What post are you currently posting to this thread?


I'm thinking of double posting.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MacLeod said:


> Or sofa? Reclining louchely on which provides the best environment for wrapping yourself in dreamy relaxing classical? We should be told!


I hoped to convey a "non-U" attitude to listening, hence 'settee'. Clearly to be 'correct', to listen to one's gramophone records one should be in Evening Dress, as Dr Johnson has pointed out, and be seated -upright with a straight back - on a sofa. Or preferably, a hard chair!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Sfupid threaf if3ads


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> I'm thinking of double posting.
> 
> View attachment 78391


From now on I am going to re-post every post that I have ever posted. Including this one.


----------



## Dr Johnson

TurnaboutVox said:


> I hoped to convey a "non-U" attitude to listening, hence 'settee'. Clearly to be 'correct', to listen to one's gramophone records one should be in Evening Dress, as Dr Johnson has pointed out, and be seated -upright with a straight back - on a sofa. Or preferably, a hard chair!


A sofa??! Certainly not. Hard chair only.

Whatever next?


----------



## TresPicos

TurnaboutVox said:


> I hoped to convey a "non-U" attitude to listening, hence 'settee'. Clearly to be 'correct', to listen to one's gramophone records one should be in Evening Dress, as Dr Johnson has pointed out, and be seated -upright with a straight back - on a sofa. Or preferably, a hard chair!


Depends on the music, I would say.

If those records contain atonal music, that would call for more awkward listening positions, e g:


face down in your empty bathtub
under a tipped-over bookcase
halfway into the dishwasher
partly curled up in your kitchen sink
sprawled on the floor on top of books, rocks and cutlery


----------



## Guest

I find I can lie face down in an empty bath tub and am able to successfully imagine atonal pieces, especially Webern's chamber works.


----------



## Guest

As an artist who composes by committing musical ideas subject to musical development on music sheets, this is probably a direction of modern composed music that will remain for many years to come. Discuss.


----------



## Dim7

The world is a piece of ****


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

VPO still practicing Nazi policy?


----------



## Gouldanian

This is by far the stupid thread...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do you think tapestry is harmful in today's society?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The Classical Music Project, #23001-23100


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stoopid Tharrd Iduus


----------



## SeptimalTritone

I have a question for all you stupid thread idea-ers.

Whenever I read a post by Richannes Wrahms, I always instinctively have to highlight it, just to make sure I'm not missing the part of his post in white letters, which is often the most insightful part. Just wondering if you guys all do the same thing with his posts.

BTW I think that the white letters thing he does is ultra charming and cute, and I love it.


----------



## Guest

SeptimalTritone said:


> I have a question for all you stupid thread idea-ers.
> 
> Whenever I read a post by Richannes Wrahms, I always instinctively have to highlight it, just to make sure I'm not missing the part of his post in white letters, which is often the most insightful part. Just wondering if you guys all do the same thing with his posts.
> 
> BTW I think that the white letters thing he does is ultra charming and cute, and I love it.


Do you do the same with mine to see the pink text? or maybe the brown?


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do you think tapestry is harmful in today's society?


No, but macramé is a threat to our liberty.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do you think it would be an improvement to the forum if everyone wrote in white text or not?


----------



## Lukecash12

SeptimalTritone said:


> I have a question for all you stupid thread idea-ers.
> 
> Whenever I read a post by Richannes Wrahms, I always instinctively have to highlight it, just to make sure I'm not missing the part of his post in white letters, which is often the most insightful part. Just wondering if you guys all do the same thing with his posts.
> 
> BTW I think that the white letters thing he does is ultra charming and cute, and I love it.





dogen said:


> Do you do the same with mine to see the pink text? or maybe the brown?


Holy hell, you two have got me pretty paranoid now. I think I might need an anxiety prescription for TC.


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do you think it would be an improvement to the forum if everyone wrote in white text or not?


It would be bliss.


----------



## Guest

Lukecash12 said:


> Holy hell, you two have got me pretty paranoid now. I think I might need an anxiety prescription for TC now.


Don't tell me you only read the black text? Where's the fun in that? Furthermore


----------



## Lukecash12

dogen said:


> It would be bliss.





dogen said:


> Don't tell me you only read the black text? Where's the fun in that? Furthermore


Oh now you're just teasing. There's nothing hidden in either of these posts. I have to admit that the conspiratorial possibilities are quite enticing. TC needs it's own dagger and cloak order like the Freemasons... Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!


----------



## Guest

Lukecash12 said:


> Oh now you're just teasing. There's nothing hidden in either of these posts. I have to admit that the conspiratorial possibilities are quite enticing. TC needs it's own dagger and cloak order like the Freemasons... Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!


Well that's because a _variable_ ratio schedule of reinforcement is in operation: basic psychology - not Masonry!

I probably shouldn't have revealed that...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

dogen said:


> Don't tell me you only read the black text? Where's the fun in that? Furthermore


YOU CAN'T FOOL ME AHAHAHAHAHAH

Seriously, I checked.


----------



## Dim7

Stupid threat ideas


----------



## arpeggio

Poll: Is Johann Sebastian Bach a bad composer?

Nuts.
Are you nuts?
Are you really nuts?
I do not know if you are nuts.
I do not care if you are nuts.
Yes and I am nuts.


----------



## arpeggio

Most recent composition that you like that was composed before 1900.


----------



## Lukecash12

arpeggio said:


> Poll: Is Johann Sebastian Bach a bad composer?
> 
> Nuts.
> Are you nuts?
> Are you really nuts?
> I do not know if you are nuts.
> I do not care if you are nuts.
> Yes and I am nuts.


Actually, this one sounds like it would be a smashing hit. No really, I'm serious.


----------



## arpeggio

Schumann's _Cello Concerto_ is the greatest composition for this instrument with orchestra.

What about the Dvorak?

OK next to the Dvorak the Schumann's _Cello Concerto_ is the greatest composition for this instrument with orchestra.

What about the Elgar?

OK next to the Dvorak and Elgar the Schumann's _Cello Concerto_ is the greatest composition for this instrument with orchestra.

Shostakovich composed a pretty good cello concerto.

OK next to the Dvorak, Elgar and Shostakovich the Schumann's _Cello Concerto_ is the greatest composition on this instrument with orchestra.

How about the Britten _Symphony for Cello and Orchestra_?

OK next to the ....

Note: Inspired by a post in another thread.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What colour is this forum's background exactly?


----------



## Dim7

Changing the laws of physics in the middle of falling from high places


----------



## hpowders

The Paris Appreciation Thread

Post No. 1: List your favorite musical lyrics inspired by Paris. I will get you started:

The rain in Spain lies mainly in the Seine.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Musical Downers.

Post No. 1: Recommend your favorite musical examples that qualify.
Mine is the second movement of Beethoven's Eroica Symphony, the famous funeral march.
Try it.
You will thank me in the mourning.


----------



## hpowders

The Horrors of War.

Post No.1: List your favorite musical depictions of war and its effects.

Mine is Pachelbel's Canon.

Oh! The humanity!


----------



## arpeggio

Members who lie about 12-tone music.


----------



## arpeggio

Members who think they are in the majority but who are not.


----------



## TresPicos

Random thoughts and discoveries that deserve a whole classical forum site to themselves (perhaps competing with TC).


----------



## arpeggio

I hate 12-tone music. I spent years asking members what is so great about it and I have never received a satisfactory answer. Does anybody really think that after all these years, music composed with such an arcane and artificial methodology is ever going to have any broad appeal? Please tell me why I should like it. And if you question my integrity it will be a violation of the TOS.


----------



## TresPicos

arpeggio said:


> I hate 12-tone music. I spent years asking members what is so great about it and I have never received a satisfactory answer. Does anybody really think that after all these years, music composed with such an arcane and artificial methodology is ever going to have any broad appeal? Please tell me why I should like it. And if you question my integrity it will be a violation of the TOS.


It's a lot to ask to just dive into 12-tone music and instantly like it.

Perhaps you can begin with some 11-tone or even 10-tone music to soften the blow?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Startling the piano.


----------



## Guest

Stalking the oboe.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

"Hardworking" composers?


----------



## Guest

Composers who are working but have failed to notify the jobcentre.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composer impersonators


----------



## Dr Johnson

Music for jobcentres.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Claude Frollo the greatest 20th century composer?


----------



## joen_cph

Was Minimalism inspired by standing in an endless queue?


----------



## Mahlerian

The "Abuse Critics and Make Statements without Reasoning" thread.

Example:

Pachelbel's Canon is not in D major.

The composer was wrong, your perception is flawed, and look, I can say anything I want because the math tells me so.
Why are all of you people so stupid for believing that this work is in any key at all?
It's clearly atonal. My proof is reality, because I'm right. Just admit it and _call it what it is_.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Baiting the bassoon.


----------



## Guest

Hating the baboon.


----------



## arpeggio

dr johnson said:


> baiting the bassoon.


grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## arpeggio

dogen said:


> hating the baboon.


grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :scold:


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> Stalking the oboe.


This is a euphemism for some *ahem* "activity", D, yes?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dating the bassoon.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> This is a euphemism for some *ahem* "activity", D, yes?


Only in _your_ mind Mr Vox, only _yours._


----------



## joen_cph

How measurably are wind instruments inflated by their constant use by musicians?


----------



## arpeggio

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Dating the bassoon.


...........................:kiss:.........................


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is peridot the best gemstone? Discuss.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Wroeeut weuth aixtroe voels fau nauoi reusn


----------



## Balthazar

Alter the gender of a member of your choice.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> Only in _your_ mind Mr Vox, only _yours._


Ah, yes. The "Marie Lloyd" defence!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Expressions that you'd date.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Got Away With Something Thread*

Hi Everybody! This is the Got Away With Something Thread! That's right!! In this thread, I want you to show us those posts that you were _sure_ would earn you one or more infractions, but for whatever reason seem to have escaped the attention of the moderators.

I'll start with this eloquent little riposte I made in the "Brittney Spears VS Milton Babbitt" thread:



> **** you you ******* ****, ****!!! You heard me!! ******!!! *******! Now, why don't you cry about it.


Thank you.


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> this eloquent little riposte I made
> 
> Thank you.


And, in the spirit of reconciliation, thank _you_. At the time I _was_ upset, but then I thought about what you said and in hindsight I agree wholeheartedly. My point still stands though: you _are_ a ******.


----------



## Ingélou

This is from a Facebook Friend, and looks a good idea for a Jolly Stupid Community Thread. 
I'm Twinkle Peppermint & Tag is Puddin Pointy-Toes, but I pity anyone born in November.


----------



## Guest

Twinkle Plum-Pants.

Which is not a million miles from one of the cat's names.


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is peridot the best gemstone? Discuss.


Certainly not, it's lapis.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Posted in Today's Composers*

Hi Everyone! I've just posted the score for my new percussion piece, scored for fist and human face. Comments welcome--whether positive or critical. However, the main reason here is because I'm looking for a performer to collaborate with. I've already got a great percussionist--who, incidentally, managed to hone his craft while simultaneously pursuing a professional boxing career. There are many people on this forum who I think would be great for this piece.

Anyways, as I said: I appreciate your feedback. Those interested in performing in the piece should contact me via PM.


----------



## Dim7

Varieties of inanity


----------



## TresPicos

*Words and expressions that you don't hate*

Are there any words or expressions that you really don't hate? Words that you either love or like or don't have an opinion about, or even dislike, but don't hate.

Here are some of mine: "and", "Hi!", "coniferous", "fling", "roundabout", "diver", "which".


----------



## arpeggio

Just got a hearing aide. Now maybe I will hear what is wrong with Schoenberg.


----------



## arpeggio

Why is 12-tone music not as popular as ABBA?


----------



## Guest

Why doesn't anyone use 13-tone music? They'd make a killing.


----------



## arpeggio

^^^^^^^^^^^
Because 13 notes is too many and 11 is not enough.


----------



## Ingélou

dogen said:


> Why doesn't anyone use 13-tone music? They'd make a killing.


My fiddle teacher, who is keen on prime numbers, wrote a piece once with 13 notes in every bar. He played it for me during a lesson & it sounded as mysterious and as jagged as icicles.


----------



## arpeggio

We should start a thread on Debussy's _La Mer_ and spend our time debating that Bach should have composed his "Prelude and Fugue in Gb Major" in F# Major and how choosing Gb major lead to the demise of Western Civilization.


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> ^^^^^^^^^^^
> Because 13 notes is too many and 11 is not enough.


Would you accept 12 and a half?


----------



## GreenMamba

dogen said:


> Why doesn't anyone use 13-tone music? They'd make a killing.


I am writing an 88-tone piece for solo piano


----------



## Guest

GreenMamba said:


> I am writing an 88-tone piece for solo piano


Would love to hear it when it's done. I'm working on a 1-tone sonata for the diddley bow.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Would love to hear it when it's done. I'm working on a 1-tone sonata for the diddley bow.


What's the tone row you are using?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> What's the tone row you are using?


The yellow one.


----------



## Dr Johnson

I am working on a no-tone piece for hammer and frying pan.


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> I am working on a no-tone piece for hammer and frying pan.


It should be programmed with Blancrocher's face and fist work.


----------



## Guest

Applauding movements.


----------



## Dim7

I'm working on a -12-tone piece. If you try singing A while -A is being played, they will cancel each other out.


----------



## Mahlerian

I'm working on trying to create the world's first piece of atonal music. So far it's been hard to create something that can't exist, but others tell me it does, so I've kept at it.


----------



## Dim7

Applauding between bowel movements


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Sfak uar ras famams.

aksamfr:

_"Who the hell knows what to really expect? He's been blabbing on and on about putting his hat in the ring since the late 80's."_

as

"Aau ra aar maus uar ru rara aksfak? aa's fam frafam am amr am afaur furam aas aat am ra ram sams ra raar 80's."

maafa aa sur aaf rausan "e" amsrar af "a", ar raraam ra "i"; arsa kar rar af ra frurar


----------



## trazom

Is Sad Musics Better Than Non-Sad Musics?
What Operatic Role Will Adele Be Singing At the MET?


----------



## TresPicos

*20736-tone music*

It is often said that Schoenberg's 12-tone music was a creative cul-de-sac. As if he took the idea as far as it could go, but the development of music then had to continue in another direction in order to move forward.

But had he taken the idea as far as it could go, wouldn't we have ended up with 20736-tone music instead of only 12-tone? I mean, his 12-tone music was essentially 12-pitch class music, where other attributes of tones were not taken into account. He could easily have combined the 12 pitches with the 12 durations, the 12 intensities and the 12 timbres, ending up with tone rows constisting of 20736 different tone attribute combinations. He could even have brought in the 12 instruments, creating 248832-tone music.

Therefore, I would argue that we have actually only taken a few steps into that creative cul-de-sac! Can this perhaps be the new direction of classical music, after the furious chaos of modernism and the mellow confusion of postmodernism?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> It is often said that Schoenberg's 12-tone music was a creative cul-de-sac. As if he took the idea as far as it could go, but the development of music then had to continue in another direction in order to move forward.
> 
> But had he taken the idea as far as it could go, wouldn't we have ended up with 20736-tone music instead of only 12-tone? I mean, his 12-tone music was essentially 12-pitch class music, where other attributes of tones were not taken into account. He could easily have combined the 12 pitches with the 12 durations, the 12 intensities and the 12 timbres, ending up with tone rows constisting of 20736 different tone attribute combinations. He could even have brought in the 12 instruments, creating 248832-tone music.
> 
> Therefore, I would argue that we have actually only taken a few steps into that creative cul-de-sac! Can this perhaps be the new direction of classical music, after the furious chaos of modernism and the mellow confusion of postmodernism?


Isn't that total serialism basically?


----------



## aleazk

Hi, I'm trying to compose a 12-tone piece, but I'm undecided about the row. So far, my row has seven notes: C-D-E-F-G-A-B. But whenever I try to complete it, I just don't like how it sounds.


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> I'm working on trying to create the world's first piece of atonal music. So far it's been hard to create something that can't exist, but others tell me it does, so I've kept at it.


How about a microtonal piece where all the notes are of the same length (and equal dynamics etc.) and every note is played only once. Is that atonal enough for you?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Not to mention the wide variety of electronic noise and indefinite pitch percussion.


----------



## Dr Johnson

If it doesn't work hit it with a hammer.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

If that doesn't work try WD-40 or duct tape.


----------



## Dim7

Where does musical senility come from?


----------



## Blancrocher

Why is P.D.Q. Bach the greatest musical humorist ever?


----------



## Dim7

Do You Listen To Classical?


----------



## millionrainbows

With a name like Furtwangler, it's got to be good.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Atonal Music = Cute Little Kittens*

Hi Everybody!! This is the Atonal Music = Cute Little Kittens thread!! In this thread, whenever you want to say "atonal music," you have to type "cute little kittens" instead. Allow me to demonstrate. You want to say "atonal music sucks," in which case you would type "cute little kittens suck." Don't worry--we'll know what you meant! Some others: "Cute little kittens don't exist," "Cute little kittens are basically just dissonance," and "even Stravinsky composed some interesting cute little kittens."

I can't wait to hear your opinions! If this catches on, I'll call some people at Webster's Dictionary to see if they'll make a change!


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> *Atonal Music = Cute Little Kittens*
> 
> Hi Everybody!! This is the Atonal Music = Cute Little Kittens thread!! In this thread, whenever you want to say "atonal music," you have to type "cute little kittens" instead. Allow me to demonstrate. You want to say "atonal music sucks," in which case you would type "cute little kittens suck." Don't worry--we'll know what you meant! Some others: "Cute little kittens don't exist," "Cute little kittens are basically just dissonance," and "even Stravinsky composed some interesting cute little kittens."
> 
> I can't wait to hear your opinions! If this catches on, I'll call some people at Webster's Dictionary to see if they'll make a change!


You also have to attach a picture of cute little kittens to every post.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

High Eve Lee Moody!! Thus, if their Adonai gnu's sick = mute riddled knitted bread!!


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Ear candling vs Christian baptism


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Morimur, I am now going to declare war on you. May the creepier priest win!


----------



## millionrainbows

Listening to ResPIGhi is forbidden, for he is unclean.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Tonal Music=Viscious Defenders of Conformity and Tradition

*Hi, everybody! This is the "Tonal Music=Viscious Defenders of Conformity and Tradition" thread! In collusion with free-lance psychotherapists and law enforcement, we are infiltrating various internet threads and workplaces in order to root out possible undesirables and mentally unstable individuals who are attracted to "atonal," modern, avant garde, and serial music. We will criiticize such music and question its validity and worth in order to "bait" these types into angrily defending such atonal music.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Where does musical senility come from?


It has been found that there are higher levels of aluminum in the brains of these senile and demented subjects, possibly due to handling the aluminum found in CDs.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

In contrast, botanical senility comes in liquid or powder form:


----------



## Dim7

Five irrelevant Salieri works


----------



## joen_cph

(deleted, sorry ..................)


----------



## Dim7

Why isn't the bassprano fach used in today's opera?


----------



## arpeggio

I just received the following from a friend with the City of Fairfax Band. It is a real hoot:






​


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*Partition your personality. *

We already alter our behaviour, we put on a mask, according to the role we believe we should fulfill. I propose we shall go beyond that.

The idea is to, for the sake of the thread, temporarily sever the connexion that unite our own characteristics and let them develop freely into wholly new characters.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Richannes Wrahms said:


> *Partition your personality. *


Already have do...what?


----------



## Dim7

Rightfully neglected works of rightfully neglected composers


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

TurnaboutVox said:


> Already have do...what?


We already change or cause to change in character or composition, typically in a comparatively small but significant way our way in which we act or conduct ourselves, especially toward others: we put on a manner or expression that hides one's true character or feelings; a pretense, depending on whether to the function assumed or part played by a person or thing in a particular situation we accept as true; feel sure of the truth of we should carry out (a task, duty, or role) as required, pledged, or expected. I put forward (an idea or plan) for consideration or discussion by others, we shall go more extensive or extreme than; further-reaching than that.


----------



## arpeggio

Why is it that whenever I say something stupid, members attack me?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

arpeggio said:


> Why is it that whenever I say something stupid members attack me?


Stupid members attack everyone.


----------



## scratchgolf

I accidentally put my headphone buds in the wrong ear this morning and listened to multiple works backwards. I think I've finally figured out atonality. Schoenberg sounds like Purcell, Stockhausen like Richard Clayderman, Cage like random objects falling back onto a table, but Varese still sounds like crap.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is hate so good? (No Bach)


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Has anyone been to see this new movie about classical music yet, The Fauré's Awaken? Any good? Who plays Gabriel?


----------



## Mahlerian

TurnaboutVox said:


> Has anyone been to see this new movie about classical music yet, The Fauré's Awaken? Any good? Who plays Gabriel?


I heard there was quite a lot of competition for the lead roles. After all, wasn't there a war between the stars?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Mahlerian said:


> I heard there was quite a lot of competition for the lead roles. After all, wasn't there a war between the stars?


Yes, I think particularly for the role of the pianist for 'Dolly', played four hands solo.


----------



## Dim7

.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

A work of genius, Dim. Pointless and utterly stupid. Well done!


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Poll*

How do you like your great composers?

A. blue
B. rare
C. medium rare
D. medium
E. well done
F. burnt


----------



## SeptimalTritone

I like my great composers deaf and sexually frustrated.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I like my Bach, and Russian composers like Tchaikovsky, Rimsky-Korsakov and Stravinsky raw, and thinly sliced.

"Capriccio", isn't it called?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Rackynoodle
Saltysandwich
Scraben
Porkyflav
Rimshot Carsicle
Cesarian Section
Thaicoffee
Myasscoffee
Mooseorgy
Boredin
Glazedbunov
Starvingski

Sorry, I needed to dump my list of deliberately misspelled Russian composer names somewhere.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Cesarian Section


10 points for that one


----------



## Guest

SeptimalTritone said:


> I like my great composers deaf and sexually frustrated.


Are you on a specialist dating site??


----------



## Dim7

Revitalizing/Maintaining Enmity With Distant Enemies


----------



## MoonlightSonata

New forum area: Unwanted Visitor Guestbooks


----------



## millionrainbows

Top Ten Reasons Why Atonality Doesn't Exist


----------



## millionrainbows

Is it OK to bite through the music in order to get to the chewy tonal center?


----------



## millionrainbows

Schoenberg Hair Care Products

Frank Martin Skin Care Products

Herbert Karajan: The Most Interesting Man in the World

The Iannis Xenakis Ten-Day Beauty Makeover

Stravinsky Can't Dance

Gustavo Dudamel's Hot Sauce Recipe

Benjamin Britten's newly discovered "Music for Young Gymnasts"

Can't Understand Webern? We'll Send a Nerd Right Over! Ha ha haa....


----------



## Blancrocher

*Top 10*

What's your favorite?

A. 10
B. Ten
C. 10.0
D. $10
E. Zehn
F. other


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Blancrocher said:


> *Top 10*
> 
> What's your favorite?
> 
> A. 10
> B. Ten
> C. 10.0
> D. $10
> E. Zehn
> F. other


十
□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□


----------



## TresPicos

MoonlightSonata said:


> New forum area: Unwanted Visitor Guestbooks


We should have a User Guestbooks subforum, with one thread per TC user, where we can discuss each other, and the way we are conducting ourselves here at TC. We ought to be able to keep it civil, I think.


----------



## TresPicos

*TresPicos (2009-)*

Since joining TC in 2009, this Swedish user has brought very little to the table. After having created some eerie and unwanted threads on odd subjects generating almost no discussion, TresPicos seemed to settle in for a while and kept a rather low profile, mostly voting in polls and Top 100 threads.

However, at some point, he started participating in heated TC debates, e g 4'33'', tonality/atonality, Schoenberg, the purpose of art etc. Lacking the most basic insights in classical music, TresPicos unknowingly derailed such threads into closure or brought them to a paralyzing standstill. As he was not breaking any forum rules per se, the moderators were unable to intervene.

In the summer of 2014, the situation became critical, and the "Stupid Thread Ideas" thread was created as an attempt to keep him occupied. Luckily, it worked even better than expected, and TC has been running smoothly ever since.

Also, TresPicos has the lowest "likes received"/"likes given" quotient of all TC users, including trolls and spambots.

What are your impressions of this user?


----------



## Dim7

You joined TC at the age of 0???


----------



## TresPicos

Dim7 said:


> You joined TC at the age of 0???


Yes, I was quite the wunderkind.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Post about your favourite composers who had a childish love of socialism and ungodly urges towards small farm animals. No smut or crudity, please.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Post about your favourite composers who had a childish love of socialism and ungodly urges towards small farm animals. No smut or crudity, please.


Telemann for sure. His Concerto for Harpsichord and a Buff Orpington cock.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TurnaboutVox said:


> Post about your favourite composers who had a childish love of socialism and ungodly urges towards small farm animals. No smut or crudity, please.


Who are you referring to in this? Sorry, me a n00b.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

> Who are you referring to in this? Sorry, me a n00b.


http://http://www.talkclassical.com/41345-how-far-should-critical-2.html


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Paganini secretly a vampire hunter?


----------



## Dim7

The Most Mahlerian Statement About Ignorance Ever Made


----------



## Blancrocher

Hi everybody, I just heard about the phony of 1000 voices!! What is he? A voice actor? A conman? An Elvis impersonator? Tell me more!!

OK, that was pathetic--probably should have put it in one of the social group threads.


----------



## Dim7

Operas you love every second note of!


----------



## arpeggio

I recently had a hearing exam. The doctor found that I had severe hearing loss in my right ear and moderate hearing loss in my left ear. Really.

I will be getting special ear plugs to use for orchestra rehearsal to protect me from the brassholes who sit behind me, horn players are an exception.

Santa has got me some new hearing aides. They are great. With my new ears I have discovered that _433_ is garbage. :lol:


----------



## arpeggio

I don't have the time to hit the like button for every post that I like. There are way too many.


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> OK, that was pathetic--probably should have put it in one of the social group threads.


Yep; there's probably already a thread for it.


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> I recently had a hearing exam. The doctor found that I had severe hearing loss in my right ear and moderate hearing loss in my left ear. Really.


That's not good.


----------



## Dim7

At which point of her career exactly did Britney Spears become a philosopher?


----------



## omega

Dim7 said:


> At which point of her career exactly did Britney Spears become a philosopher?


Maybe tomorrow?


----------



## arpeggio

When did Plato become a composer and where are his lost symphonies.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Which composer would bounce highest on a trampoline?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 has requested a username change (approved):
Dec-23-2015

Old ValueNever going toDim7
New Valuegive you upRick Astley


----------



## Dim7

omega said:


> Maybe tomorrow?


As she grows older she has to rely on her intellect instead of her looks. She could become the next Ayn Rand.


----------



## Flamme

Dim7 said:


> At which point of her career exactly did Britney Spears become a philosopher?


We must ask Lady Marschalin...If she ever again honour us with her presence...


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Dim7 has requested a username change (approved):
> Dec-23-2015
> 
> Old ValueNever going toDim7
> New Valuegive you upRick Astley


Only fools unconcerned about their privacy would use their real name as a username.


----------



## Guest

Poll: When Did Philosophers Also Become "Transvestites"?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

My sister's husband was a member of an amateur rock band called 'Blind Spot' in his late teens.
I thought that name was very lame, thus:
*
The most incredibly lame names for a Rock band* no guarantee some or all of these have already been taken


Hot Dogs

Wet Sardines

Rhinemaidens

More Cowbell!

The Dark Arts

Unfathomable

4'33"

Ondes Martenot


----------



## Guest

Seasonal Events: Come in and share!

An Evening of Certainty
with a representative of your preferred cult.

Refreshments provided.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Poll:* Cats vs. Cats


----------



## TurnaboutVox

*Cats vs. Dolphins*

I like cats, but as I watch the cellar and the back garden fill up with water, would a dolphin be a more practical pet in today's world? What experience do forum members have in Bangladesh, The Maldives, Holland, Carlisle?


----------



## Dim7

The Whether thread


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> I like cats, but as I watch the cellar and the back garden fill up with water, would a dolphin be a more practical pet in today's world? What experience do forum members have in Bangladesh, The Maldives, Holland, Carlisle?


Can't you stem the flow by buttressing your property perimeter with climate change deniers? Pack them in tight, head first to form the most satisfying barrier.


----------



## Dim7

Who's your favorite composer of the last hundred seconds?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Who's your favorite composer of the last hundred seconds?


Ludwig van Beethoven


----------



## arpeggio

Dim7 said:


> Who's your favorite composer of the last hundred seconds?


How many times do I have to answer this question?

It is...No, it is not him...Let me see...Now I remember... It's. It's. No. Not him. Can you give me a hundred seconds?


----------



## Mahlerian

*Make distinctions!*

The difference between taste and opinion can be easily described.

Taste: When I say something that I can't be bothered to argue in favor of or want to sneak in some kind of value judgment in my description (even if that means it's false).

Opinion: When you say something I don't like.

Clearly, taste cannot be argued with. Opinions are different.


----------



## SeptimalTritone

Mahlerian said:


> *Make distinctions!*
> 
> The difference between taste and opinion can be easily described.
> 
> Taste: When I say something that I can't be bothered to argue in favor of or want to sneak in some kind of value judgment in my description (even if that means it's false).
> 
> Opinion: When you say something I don't like.
> 
> Clearly, taste cannot be argued with. Opinions are different.


Please read what I wrote. All I'm saying is that major orchestras in the last few years didn't program a Schoenberg work even once. It appears that some members of this site would think that that means anything else! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Non-Classical Music Section:

Identify the song from the disguised lyrics.

Post No. 1: Hello posters. Take a favorite pop song, change the lyrics a bit and see if your fellow posters can identify the song.

I will start:

Chopped liver....

Wider than a mile

I spread the bread in style

Today....


----------



## Balthazar

When did Britney Spears also become Milton Babbitt?


----------



## Balthazar

*What is your bedding?*

800 thread count Frette here.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

I have discovered truly invisible text. Not white text like this sentence. I mean text in the actual colour of the forum's background itself like this sentence.


----------



## Guest

Poll.

Popularity: Who gives a ****?


Be advised that this is a public poll: other users can see the choice(s) you selected and laugh at your inanity.


----------



## Dim7

We need to categorize posters according to their posting "fach". What should be the posting fachs?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> We need to categorize posters according to their posting "fach". What should be the posting fachs?


Sometimes there's some pretty 'base' humour posted here...


----------



## millionrainbows

If Gilbert Gottfried's AFLAC duck voice irritates me, does this mean that I'm anti-Semitic?


----------



## millionrainbows

If Brittney Spears sat at a table of philosophers, sooner or later one of them would point to her breast and say, "For example, this breast here: is it real?"


----------



## millionrainbows

SHOSTAKOVICH and BULLYING: The devastating effects of bullying on music


----------



## millionrainbows

The Brittney Spears/Vanna White philosophical dialectic: what are the implications of it in a post-modern world?


----------



## millionrainbows

Brittney Spears and the Politics of Desire

Brittney Spears and Post-Modern Booty

Brittney Spears: Twerking as Power and Control


----------



## Dim7

Ancient Greeks vs. Modern Geeks.


----------



## Guest

Verily Meddieville Maydens versooth Yon Modernist Rabblest Scallions.


----------



## Dim7

Is it normal for red pandas to speak Middle English with a "Keeper of the Bridge of Death" -voice?


----------



## Guest

Yea sire tis indeede whaat isyss thoust Neww Normalle.


----------



## arpeggio

Why do some like Mozart and others do not?


----------



## arpeggio

Why is classical music dying in Antarctica?


----------



## Guest

Motets: verily yea or thryce nay?


----------



## Donata

The best 12 tone make out music. Which compose in drag would be the most attractive?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Carl Friedrich Gauss vs Joseph Maurice Ravel


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Cat Pictures to Prrr-ighten your Day


----------



## Dim7

Fiscally conservative, socially progressive tonality


----------



## Dim7

Why do some people have an opinion on Schoenberg?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Why do (some) people look like Shostakovich?


----------



## Dim7

The least controversial TC member with 1000+ posts


----------



## Flamme

When will dimseven bring his avatar(s) back???


----------



## arpeggio

Are there any classical composers from Innsbruck, Austria that nobody hates?


----------



## Dim7

I finally got around to getting frivolous about recording.


----------



## Balthazar

*Favorite Performers You Would Like to See Immolated?*


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Balthazar said:


> *Favorite Performers You Would Like to See Immolated?*


You aren't hinting at who I think you're hinting at, Buster?


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Is it normal for red pandas to speak Middle English with a "Keeper of the Bridge of Death" -voice?


Yes; it's called "cookie monster death metal."


----------



## millionrainbows

arpeggio said:


> Why is classical music dying in Antarctica?


Upon closer inspection, it's not really dying; it's just melting into a tonally ambiguous chromatic mess.


----------



## millionrainbows

arpeggio said:


> Why do some like Mozart and others do not?


For the same reason that some go to beauty shops and others go to barbers.


----------



## millionrainbows

Donata said:


> The best 12 tone make out music.


I've had some really bizarre sessions with Pierot Lunaire, if that's your taste. For tamer stuff, I've found that Schoenberg's Serenade works well.



> Which composer in drag would be the most attractive?


Alban Berg is part way there, judging by the eye makeup in some of the photos.


----------



## millionrainbows

Article: "Why is Schoenberg's Music So Hard to Understand?" by my five-year old daughter.

Also, be sure to read "Anton Webern is a Poop-Head" by same.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Thread Idea Stupids


----------



## TresPicos

Top 10 greatest could-have-been composers, who never composed anything but instead chose other professions.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TresPicos said:


> Top 10 greatest could-have-been composers, who never composed anything but instead chose other professions.


Albert Einstein


----------



## TresPicos

*Friends and Acquaintances*

TC should add the possibility to have acquaintances, and not only friends. I usually turn down friend requests, because I don't know if the users in question will really be true friends. Can I borrow money from them? Can I call them in the middle of the night if I'm sad? How will I know? And perhaps they are going through a rough time themselves, so they will call me every night and expect help that I'm not capable of giving? It's just too complicated...

It should be possible to send acquaintance requests to have other users added to a separate Acquaintance list. Also, it should be possible to respond to a friend request with an acquaintance reply, for when you aren't really prepared to go as far as to be friends but you don't want to be impolite.


----------



## Dim7

What countries are you currently invading?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Unhappy 2016 Space filler text


----------



## Dr Johnson

Great Symphonies of the sociologists.


----------



## Balthazar

Dr Johnson said:


> Great Symphonies of the sociologists.


Don't you mean Great _Pseudo-_Symphonies of the sociologists?


----------



## Dr Johnson

I meant it oxymoronically.


----------



## Balthazar

*Organ Transplants of Orchestral Performers*

What are some of your favorites?

(I swear I had this in mind before Art Rock's post.)


----------



## Flamme

millionrainbows said:


> Upon closer inspection, it's not really dying; it's just melting into a tonally ambiguous chromatic mess.


Wow guys ye are such geeks!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Richard Wagner's legs


----------



## Pugg

If you can't say anything nice...


----------



## Dim7

...say something mean.


----------



## Flamme

Pugg said:


> If you can't say anything nice...


Think twice.:lol:


----------



## Guest

It's another day for you and me in paradise.


----------



## TresPicos

*The Talk Classical Daily Work - 2016 Edition*

The voting thread is now closed, and the classical music work that all TC members should listen to daily throughout 2016 is... Arnold Schoenberg's Piano Concerto Op. 42.

This also means that we will no longer need to listen to the daily work of 2015, Bach's St Matthew Passion.


----------



## Chronochromie

TresPicos said:


> The voting thread is now closed, and the classical music work that all TC members should listen to daily throughout 2016 is... Arnold Schoenberg's Piano Concerto Op. 42.
> 
> This also means that we will no longer need to listen to the daily work of 2015, Bach's St Matthew Passion.


I actually wonder how many people who dislike Schoenberg have heard that one...stunning work. Sometimes I find myself humming that tune at the beginning of the last movement, but unfortunately I'm no milkman.


----------



## geralmar

Serious question. When animals are used in the testing of new drugs, does one group of animals get placebos?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> The voting thread is now closed, and the classical music work that all TC members should listen to daily throughout 2016 is... Arnold Schoenberg's Piano Concerto Op. 42.
> 
> This also means that we will no longer need to listen to the daily work of 2015, Bach's St Matthew Passion.


Thank god it's not the Ring Cycle.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Thank god it's not the Ring Cycle.


Yes, 1997 was a tough year.


----------



## Dim7

Take Compliments as Insults and Insults as Compliments


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Take Compliments as Insults and Insults as Compliments


What a truly beautiful idea Dim7.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> What a truly beautiful idea Dim7.


Beautiful? These thread ideas are supposed to be STUPID and you dare to call them beautiful you stinky hairy piece of *****, your IQ is probably on the level of a red panda you ****

this post must be interpreted in its context, please do not infract me mods


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Beautiful? These thread ideas are supposed to be STUPID and you dare to call them beautiful you stinky hairy piece of *****, you're IQ is probably on the level of a red panda you ****
> 
> this post must be interpreted in its context, please do not infract me mods


Context-dependent ******.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Boring things you did today/have to do/avoid/...


----------



## Mahlerian

dim7 said:


> beautiful? These thread ideas are supposed to be stupid and you dare to call them beautiful you stinky hairy piece of *****, your iq is probably on the level of a red panda you ****
> 
> this post must be interpreted in its context, please do not infract me mods


*You have insulted another member and you have received 5 infractions because we can.*


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> *You have insulted another member and you have received 5 infractions because we can.*


Can mods give infractions for themselves btw?


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Can mods give infractions for themselves btw?


No, although we can infract other mods at our own level (ie I can't give an infraction to an admin).


----------



## TresPicos

Favorite "posts per page" setting - have you chosen a setting other than the forum default?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TresPicos said:


> Favorite "posts per page" setting - have you chosen a setting other than the forum default?


I've set mine to Mixolydian mode so that each 8th post is slightly flat and out of tune with the one 8 above. I do this deliberately because I'm Scots and like to annoy people.


----------



## Balthazar

*Einstein's 4th Greatest Error*

A thread already exists on Einstein's greatest error. And we can all agree, of course, on his second and third.

But what about the fourth? Post your nominations here.


----------



## TresPicos

Balthazar said:


> *Einstein's 4th Greatest Error*
> 
> A thread already exists on Einstein's greatest error. And we can all agree, of course, on his second and third.
> 
> But what about the fourth? Post your nominations here.


Ooh, there are just too many errors to mention.

Sometimes you feel he should never have touched that Köchel catalogue.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Boring things you did today/have to do/avoid/...


Just came back from donating blood.


----------



## Dim7

*boring point on instrumental vs. vocal music*

Instrumental music by its nature cannot have lyrics, while vocal music can.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> Instrumental music by its nature cannot have lyrics, while vocal music can.


Now I'm confused. My Berg CD has a "Lyrics Suite" and it's definitely for Orchestra...


----------



## arpeggio

Am I a contemptible person is I can whistle Webern while taking a shower?


----------



## TresPicos

arpeggio said:


> Am I a contemptible person is I can whistle Webern while taking a shower?


Not at all. It's a clever idea, actually.

I'm obviously not the only one who keeps ending up in the following situation: "Hmm, what's that tune I'm whistling? Oh no, it's Webern. Now I have to go take a shower." Combining the two, like you do, sounds more efficient.


----------



## arpeggio

What is a great tone row?


----------



## arpeggio

Cage is a fraud. He is not a Buddhist. He is actually a ...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What if Cage was actually Wagner?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Minor pieces by major composers to use as background while drinking coffee besides that famous cantata and salon piano music.


----------



## Balthazar

*Gallery of Apictorial, Achromatic Art*

I need something appropriate to look at while I listen to atonal music.

The criteria are simple:

1. No delineation of form or shape; and 
2. No pigmentation (including white, grey, and black).

Please post you favorites (and no, a blank canvas doesn't count).


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Does a transparent canvas count?


----------



## Mahlerian

Balthazar said:


> *Gallery of Apictorial, Achromatic Art*
> 
> I need something appropriate to look at while I listen to atonal music.
> 
> The criteria are simple:
> 
> 1. No delineation of form or shape; and
> 2. No pigmentation (including white, grey, and black).
> 
> Please post you favorites (and no, a blank canvas doesn't count).


You could busy yourself by reading an alinguistic book, perhaps.


----------



## Balthazar

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Does a transparent canvas count?


If: 
(i) it has no dimensions; 
(ii) one can walk through it; and 
(iii) it is impossible to determine whether or not is in fact present,

then perhaps.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Most Complex Polygamy Ever Weaved.


----------



## Dim7

Dr Johnson said:


> Most Complex Polygamy Ever Weaved.


What exactly are the criteria for judging the complexity of polygamy besides sheer numbers?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> What exactly are the criteria for judging the complexity of polygamy besides sheer numbers?


That is a query which cannot be satisfied if it is necessary to frame it.


----------



## Mahlerian

Internet Logic: Now with 50% less logical content!

- Impress your friends by winning arguments with non sequiturs
- Dazzle your enemies with impenetrable pretzels of circular reasoning
- If all else fails, ridicule your opponent instead of confronting their argument. 9 out of 10 forumgoers can't tell the difference!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Mahlerian said:


> Internet Logic: Now with 50% less logical content!
> 
> - Impress your friends by winning arguments with non sequiturs
> - Dazzle your enemies with impenetrable pretzels of circular reasoning
> - If all else fails, ridicule your opponent instead of confronting their argument. 9 out of 10 forumgoers can't tell the difference!


Has this happened to *YOU* lately, friend?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The classical style thread, where ignorance is no excuse and people converse solely with concrete examples and all terms are well defined.


----------



## Guest

What were you doing right then? (August 16th, 2013, at 7.24pm)


----------



## Dr Johnson

Singers' floors.


----------



## Guest

Violists' vestibules.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Pianists'...parlours


----------



## Dr Johnson

Parlous pianists.


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> What were you doing right then? (August 16th, 2013, at 7.24pm)


Ah yes, August 16th... I was assembling a new swivel chair from IKEA.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

What piece of music don't you want to compose?


----------



## Guest

Werther vs Murray.


----------



## Dim7

The Challenge of Being


----------



## joen_cph

*Polyfoamic writing*

- a complex example.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

RIP Alma Deutscher


----------



## Guest

The Donaueschinger Musiktage festival has been going a long time and claims to offer modern music. So why has it yet to programme any works by the modern composer Deutscher?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

dogen said:


> The Donaueschinger Musiktage festival has been going a long time and claims to offer modern music. So why has it yet to programme any works by the modern composer Deutscher?


Too controversial.


----------



## arpeggio

Anyone who does not think that Alma Deutscher is the greatest musical prodigy since Mozart is contributing to the demise of Western Civilization.


----------



## arpeggio

I have ten sets of the complete Symphonies of Beethoven. Do I need an eleventh?


----------



## joen_cph

arpeggio said:


> I have ten sets of the complete Symphonies of Beethoven. Do I need an eleventh?


Are they identical?


----------



## Johann Sebastian Bach

Would "The Love of Three Oranges" be more or less bitter if an extra orange joined the trio?

Or if one left?

And am I a lemon for asking the question?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Currant Listening


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I have 11 recordings of Furtwangler conducting Beethoven's 5th. Do I need another one? I do not want any suggestions of alternative recordings made by young upstart aristocrats, by the way.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Shutdown Preparedness Thread*

Hi Everybody! We all know that the forum is going to go offline at some point--it has many times before. But have no fear, because this is the Shutdown Preparedness Thread!! That's right!! This is where you can go to make posts in advance of the forum troubles, expressing the opinions you would otherwise be unable to post for anywhere from minutes to hours or even days.

All right, so I guess I'll just get the ball rolling...

OH CRAP!! THE FORUM'S OFFLINE!!!! Can anyone else read this post?! Is it a server malfunction, or just a problem with my desktop? This is freaking KILLING me!!! Wake up and fix this, mods!!


----------



## Guest

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Currant Listening
> 
> View attachment 79932


Alma's beau I presume?


----------



## Guest

Magic Eye pictures that break the ToS, if only you can perceive them.

No.7 
The giraffe.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

arpeggio said:


> Anyone who does not think that Alma Deutscher is the greatest musical prodigy since Mozart is contributing to the demise of Western Civilization.


Pfft, everyone knows that it's obviously John Cage. ;P


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I have 967 recordings of Maria Callas singing 'Norma' on cassette, LP record, Super8 film, U-matic, Betamax, VCR, Laser Disc, Mini-disc, CD, DVD, Blu-Ray disc and MP4. Of course I need another!


----------



## Dr Johnson

You left out 8 track cartridge.


----------



## elgar's ghost

Neck-beards or luxurious sideburns? Pompadours or comb-overs? What was the quintessential choice of hirsuteness during the Romantic era?


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> You left out 8 track cartridge.


And the scratch-n-sniff Hello Kitty doll.


----------



## Dim7

How can we do better to confuse newbies?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> How can we do better to confuse newbies?


Guide them to this thread.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> How can we do better to confuse newbies?


Label this thread "New Members - Introductions"


----------



## Dim7

Favorite tone poem for solo triangle


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Favourite solo triangle


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Who's next?

Vote for the next forum member or composer to pass away. 


5 points if your prediction realises within a year
10 points if within 6 months
15 if three months
20 if two months
25 if a month

5 points for subjects less than 75 years of age
10 for 60 
15 for 45
20 for 35
30 for 25


----------



## Dim7

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Who's next?
> 
> Vote for the next forum member or composer to pass away.
> 
> 5 points if your prediction realises within a year
> 10 points if within 6 months
> 15 if three months
> 20 if two months
> 25 if a month
> 
> 5 points for subjects less than 75 years of age
> 10 for 60
> 15 for 45
> 20 for 35
> 30 for 25


What can I do with those points?


----------



## mstar

Dim7 said:


> How can we do better to confuse newbies?


Sticky: "Why Cage's 4'33" is the Official TC Most Recommended Work"


----------



## Dim7

What hideous atrocities hath death saved us from?


----------



## Dim7

The Banal Magic of: The "rabbit ouf of a hat" -trick


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Dim7 said:


> What can I do with those points?




You can exchange them for favours by members that accept them. 
You can merge them with other member's to form a team. 
Once you have reached a certain number you earn a title name.
Whoever has the most at the end of the year earns the TC cup.

Ultimately any member can give any amount of points between 5 and 50 in a given occation to any other member when they see fit, unless the points come from an established game mechanic. Keep in mind that the more you give the less their value. This shall be further standardised if necessary.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

The Strained Magic of: Paul McCartney


----------



## Blancrocher

What were you doing 3 days ago at 5:30 (local time)?


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> What were you doing 3 days ago at 5:30 (local time)?


Still looking for the Allen key.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

One post, six thousand two hundred and ninety-three poems


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What if everyone on the forum actually was their avatar?


----------



## Pugg

mstar said:


> Sticky: "Why Cage's 4'33" is the Official TC Most Recommended Work"


This is a very good one :clap:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

RAP Pierre Boulez


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is it that all of the Bach family are known by their initials?


----------



## TresPicos

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why is it that all of the Bach family are known by their initials?


They were poor and could only afford initials.

The use of "Wilhelm Friedemann" instead of "WF" etc is just a mnemonic convention by late 19th century musicologists that has since caught on and spread to the general public. But there are many in the classical music world who try to counter that development by using the initial form, out of respect for the great Bach family.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The J-zz Hole

.


----------



## arpeggio

Was John Lennon the Mozart of his generation?


----------



## Guest

Was Picasso the Ringo Starr of the Cretaceous?


----------



## Blancrocher

*Not intended as a stupid thread idea*

Every time I come up with a stupid thread idea I have the strong feeling I've already posted it (and not just when it comes to 4'33'' jokes). Does this happen to other STI regulars? Maddening form of deja vu.


----------



## millionrainbows

After eating beans, Bach comes up with "Air on a G string."


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> *Not intended as a stupid thread idea*
> 
> Every time I come up with a stupid thread idea I have the strong feeling I've already posted it (and not just when it comes to 4'33'' jokes). Does this happen to other STI regulars? Maddening form of deja vu.


No, generally I have the strong feeling that somone else has already posted it.


----------



## TresPicos

*Not unintended as a stupid thread idea*
Every time I come up with a stupid thread idea I have the strong feeling I've already posted it, or that someone else has. Does this ever happen to the rest of you?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

The Strangled Magic of: Lemmy's vocal technique


----------



## Balthazar

*Malady of the Day*


----------



## arpeggio

Who do you think will win Wimbledon? John Williams or Mozart.


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> *Not unintended as a stupid thread idea*
> Every time I come up with a stupid thread idea I have the strong feeling I've already posted it, or that someone else has. Does this ever happen to the rest of you?


No, generally I have the strong feeling that somone else has already posted it.


----------



## Dim7

Answer An Answerable Question With A Questionable Answer


----------



## Blancrocher

The Strange Magic of: Magicians


----------



## Guest

The Strange Magic of: Mushrooms.


----------



## Dim7

Is there anybody who had the disease "common cold"?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

_Who_ are you doing right now?


----------



## TresPicos

Your top coral works? 

Me: The Great Barrier Reef.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is there anybody who is a "cinnamon roll"?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Each and every single one of you on this thread needs Jesus. That includes me.


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Each and every single one of you on this thread needs Jesus. That includes me.


Based on ......?????


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Pugg said:


> Based on ......?????


Remember, the title of the thread is "Stupid Thread Ideas", Pugg...


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Each and every single one of you on this thread needs Jesus. That includes me.


Which are his best albums?


----------



## Dim7

Most Difficult Positions to Enjoy (For You!)


----------



## Guest

Stalin's new clothes.


----------



## Dim7

the serf's old underwear


----------



## TurnaboutVox

The Emperor's New Clothes: Answer an unanswerable question with an unquestionable answer.


----------



## Balthazar

TurnaboutVox said:


> The Emperor's New Clothes: Answer an unanswerable question with an unquestionable answer.


Watch the intelligence level, TVox, or we may have to get a mod to relocate some of your posts.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Balthazar said:


> Watch the intelligence level, TVox, or we may have to get a mod to relocate some of your posts.


Poll: Do you post better STIs when you've been drinking?

* Yes
* No
* Maybe
* I don't know
* Can you repeat the question?


----------



## Mahlerian

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: Do you post better STIs when you've been drinking?
> 
> * Yes
> * No
> * Maybe
> * I don't know
> * Can you repeat the question?


That'sssssss a funny queston can youu repeet it agaain

*falls over*


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: Do you post better STIs when you've been drinking?
> 
> * Yes
> * No
> * Maybe
> * I don't know
> * Can you repeat the question?


I'll let you know when I stop.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Mahlerian said:


> That'sssssss a funny queston can youu repeet it agaain
> 
> *falls over*


Er, this is awkward, M, we must stop meeting like this. Do you need a cab home?


----------



## Dim7

Tear apart a concert program


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Can you help me lose my mind to complete madness and derangement please?


----------



## Balthazar

The "Quote Your Own Post Immediately and Add Additional Commentary" thread.


----------



## Balthazar

Balthazar said:


> The "Quote Your Own Post Immediately and Add Additional Commentary" thread.


The more I think about this idea, the better it seems...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is it that when I Google search 'Pierre Boulez death' and 'David Bowie death' I get the person's date of passing in the search results, but when I search 'Alma Deutscher death' I get no results pertaining to the subject? Is death not inevitable?


----------



## Dim7

The most overranted composers


----------



## Dim7

Match the members with their representative words/phrases (again):

"He just wrote some jingles."
"Hot chick."
"Meh...."
""
"Kaleidoscopic."
"The WCM establishment."
"My meds." 
"Maybe."


----------



## Dim7

Anyone like STI but not Dim7?


----------



## Guest

Think for Yourself and Come Up with Your Own Opinion.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Poll: All modern everything is rubbish and the world should have ended in 1894

Your choice(s):

* *Oh* *sighs*...not again
* Oh _**sighs**_...not again
* Oh *sighs*...not _*again*_


----------



## Balthazar

dogen wilderness


----------



## Dim7

the hot young empress' new clothes (pics included)


----------



## Dim7

Why is Modem Art so Bad?


----------



## arpeggio

Dim7 said:


> Why is Modem Art so Bad?


Rats. You beat me to it.


----------



## Chronochromie

Poll: Your favorite fallacy.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Set up a Straw Man and Knock it Down: A foundation level course in constructing an argument. Endorsed by the University of TurnaboutVox*, one of the world's top educational establishments.


*Registered in Liberia. Maybe.


----------



## TresPicos

Why is Art so Bad? 

And Music? 

And pretty much everything?


----------



## Chronochromie

Why did most great composers not innovate? Seriously guys, I'm tired of Gregorian Chant, can we move on?


----------



## TresPicos

Why did most great innovators not compose? Sure, we have cars and computers and stuff, but classical music could have evolved so much further! It's sad, really.


----------



## Dim7

Why everything is so bad, will only get worse, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Slightly misread TC

Ex: There is no reason to think the Filth Symphony was wildly popular with the proletariat or the "gourmet overlords."


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> Why everything is so bad, will only get worse, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.


Aren't there already multiple threads in this vein in Talk Nonsense?


----------



## Dim7

That's more Crying Room material.


----------



## Balthazar

Touché.​​​​​​​​​


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Composers Who Whelm You*
Everyone knows that lots of composers can be overwhelming or underwhelming, but what about the ones that just whelm you?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Composers Who Whelm You*
> Everyone knows that lots of composers can be overwhelming or underwhelming, but what about the ones that just whelm you?


This isn't so daft, MS:



> Middle English: whelm (v.) early 14c., probably from a parallel form of Old English -hwielfan (West Saxon), -hwelfan (Mercian), in ahwelfan "cover over;" probably altered by association with Old English helmian "to cover," from Proto-Germanic *hwalbjan, from PIE *kwelp- "to arch" (see gulf (n.)).


Bartok was particularly fond of using arch forms in his compositions, so you might be 'whelmed' by him, or more figuratively you might perhaps be whelmed by Brahms, in the sense of feeling comfortably 'covered' by his music.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TurnaboutVox said:


> This isn't so daft, MS:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Middle English: whelm (v.) early 14c., probably from a parallel form of Old English -hwielfan (West Saxon), -hwelfan (Mercian), in ahwelfan "cover over;" probably altered by association with Old English helmian "to cover," from Proto-Germanic *hwalbjan,* from PIE *kwelp- "to arch" (see gulf (n.)). *
> 
> 
> 
> Bartok was particularly fond of using arch forms in his compositions, so you might be 'whelmed' by him, or more figuratively you might perhaps be whelmed by Brahms, in the sense of feeling comfortably 'covered' by his music.
Click to expand...

I would like to request that a Proto-Indo-European section of this forum be created just so that I can say that I have been kwelped by Bartok.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Let's do fake etymology

-----------yelp------yell--------------yield
-----------help------hell--------------heel--------------hall--all
---------------------------wear-bear-beer--------------bore-bar---bull
kwelp----whelp-----well-------------will---------------wall---------wool
-----------kelp-----------------------keep-key
---------------------------care------------------car-----core--------------cure


----------



## arpeggio

Who is on your ignore list?


----------



## Guest

^^^^

Haha Richannes that's really funny!


----------



## Dim7

I want to follow other TC users in real life


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How can I become the most outstanding child prodigy in history? This is not a joke by the way


----------



## Balthazar

*Why are Modern Curmudgeons so Curmudgeonly?*


----------



## arpeggio

It is demoralizing when members tell me that I should not like Mozart, Beethoven's _Ninth_, Webern and Carter.

In another thread I am now told I should hate Jack the Dripper.


----------



## Mahlerian

Call others defensive for tearing apart loaded questions


----------



## millionrainbows

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: Do you post better STIs when you've been drinking?
> 
> * Yes
> * No
> * Maybe
> * I don't know
> * Can you repeat the question?


Definitely, after I've had a few teensie-weentsie drinksh. Here's shum more ideash...

Sheerialism: How come it shounds sho funny? Huh?

Combining Wagner Ring marathons with drinking marathons

Whash the deal with (hic) that word 'atonal?'


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> ^^^^
> 
> Haha Richannes that's really funny!


Ha! It only took me 12 hours to get that!


----------



## Zarathustra

Least favourite movement in each Mahler symphony.

I actually want to know. Seriously. Or is it just stupid?


----------



## Dim7

Zarathustra said:


> Least favourite movement in each Mahler symphony.
> 
> I actually want to know. Seriously. Or is it just stupid?


Nothing particularly stupid about that.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

http://www.talkclassical.com/30383-weakest-symphonic-movements.html?highlight=


----------



## millionrainbows

"Mahler Lite"...sounds great, less filling. For those who don't have the time...


----------



## Zarathustra

Thanks Richannes Wrahms. I searched for least favourite and didn't find a thread other than the hilarious one done by dim7 for Bruckner and Beethoven.



Dim7 said:


> Nothing particularly stupid about that.


How about this one then:
How do I delete everyone elses posts?


----------



## millionrainbows

Wow, I didn't realize, after listening to this symphony recorded by Furtwangler in 1944 that Beethoven used cannons...oh, you mean those aren't cannons, but bombs going off?


----------



## arpeggio

I have no problem censoring censors.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Zarathustra said:


> How about this one then:
> How do I delete everyone elses posts?


You could try putting everyone on the forum on "ignore"


----------



## Zarathustra

TurnaboutVox said:


> You could try putting everyone on the forum on "ignore"


It was a poor attempt at a parody of a current thread in technical support subforum.

How about this one?

Ancient concerts

We all know things were better before and in the case of music even more so. We are told meat tasted better, the air was purer, children could play safely in the streets so why should the arts be any different. With the decline in Western Classical Music post-Schönberg not only do we not have any worthwhile composers, but even the good performers are steadily becoming extinct. We can see this in the drought of good quality hendeltenors for instance.

This is the thread where you can write up your recollection of concerts gone by many years ago by legendary artists who have since disappeared that unfortunately were not recorded for posterity, that the young whippersnappers of today are never going to have the opportunity to experience. Let them know what they are missing and are never ever going to have. Remind them again how futile are their attempts at creating a cd collection or how pointless it is to go watch a live performance.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Zarathustra said:


> It was a poor attempt at a parody of a current thread in technical support subforum.


Yes, and mine was a poor attempt at a parody of an answer in the technical support subforum. Ce n'est pas grave, as the French say.



Zarathustra said:


> How about this one?
> 
> Ancient concerts
> 
> We all know things were better before and in the case of music even more so. We are told meat tasted better, the air was purer, children could play safely in the streets so why should the arts be any different. With the decline in Western Classical Music post-Schönberg not only do we not have any worthwhile composers, but even the good performers are steadily becoming extinct. We can see this in the drought of good quality hendeltenors for instance.
> 
> This is the thread where you can write up your recollection of concerts gone by many years ago by legendary artists who have since disappeared that unfortunately were not recorded for posterity, that the young whippersnappers of today are never going to have the opportunity to experience. Let them know what they are missing and are never ever going to have. Remind them again how futile are their attempts at creating a cd collection or how pointless it is to go watch a live performance.


I wouldn't swear to it, but I think there may be real threads in which old timers do just this.

(Points quavering finger at cowering youth) "A'course, I heard ole' Gustav himself conducting this at the Metropolitan Opera in '08...if you weren't there, sonny, you just ain't lived. Nothing'll ever come close. You heard Bernstein? Boulez? Phooey! Whatcha' mean, how old am I?")


----------



## mstar

TurnaboutVox said:


> (Points quavering finger at cowering youth) "A'course, *I heard ole' Gustav himself* conducting this at the Metropolitan Opera in '08...if you weren't there, sonny, you just ain't lived. Nothing'll ever come close. You heard *Bernstein*? *Boulez*? Phooey! *Whatcha' mean, how old am I?"*)


Apparently, a very lucky age to be.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is TC user Abraham Lincoln actually Alma Deutscher?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Who left their Stravinsky on the train?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Your Favourite Symphonies Involving High-Explosives

Top-10 Favourite A Cappella Piano Sonatas

Why Are People Who Don't Like Modern Art So Attractive?


----------



## Dim7

Favorite orchestral works using nuclear weapons


----------



## arpeggio

Dim7 said:


> Favorite orchestral works using nuclear weapons


The soundtrack to _Failsafe_.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Which forum member would you most like to bombard with nuclear weapons?


----------



## arpeggio

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which forum member would you most like to bombard with nuclear weapons?


I don't know. They are on my ignore list and I can't find it.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Who left their Stravinsky on the train?


Stravinsky himself offcourse, he was very comfy alltucked inthere.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Does Alkan have a pH level greater than 7?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

What's Your Opinion of WEATHER?


----------



## Guest

Threads you regret starting.


----------



## Guest

Art. WTF? discuss. or not.


----------



## Dim7

I am fabulous - Come in and agree!


----------



## arpeggio

Dim7 said:


> I am fabulous - Come in and agree!


Rats. You stole another of my ideas.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Who do you think Alma Deutscher is going to kill next?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Pubic polls

1. laser hair removal
2. shaved
3. trimmed
4. natural
5. extensions
6. burnt
7. ewww
8. other


----------



## Dim7

Who would be the Austin Powers of mathematics?


----------



## joen_cph

My favourite classical pianists: Nixon, Putin, and Helmut Schmidt. 

OK, my ambitions lie elsewhere.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Who would be the Tyson Fury of chamber music?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which forum member would you most like to bombard with nuclear weapons?


There's someone in Napier, NZ I really can't stand, MS. It's good of you to agree to be collateral damage. No hard feelings, eh?


----------



## Dim7

I have now 1000+ STI posts. Congratulate me.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Alma Deutschebag


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> I have now 1000+ STI posts. Congratulate me.


Congratulations on being very stupid indeed, Dim. I am the first, but I'm sure that there'll be many more who think of you as I do.


----------



## Skilmarilion

TurnaboutVox said:


> Who would be the Tyson Fury of chamber music?


Tyson Fury: String Quartet No. 1 in E-flat major

I. Allegro con fuoco
II. Passacaglia: Largo e molto fuoco
III. Scherzo: Fuoco, doch nicht schleppend
IV. Intermezzo: Fuoco e dolce
V. Fuoco


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Skilmarilion said:


> Tyson Fury: String Quartet No. 1 in E-flat major
> 
> I. Allegro con fuoco
> II. Passacaglia: Largo e molto fuoco
> III. Scherzo: Fuoco, doch nicht schleppend
> IV. Intermezzo: Fuoco e dolce
> V. Fuoco


:lol:

Very witty!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Who would be the Nikola Tesla of Medieval music?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dyslexic threads:


Which sick musicians (dead or alive) would you invite to dinner?

Finally listening to MPs again

Warning about Spotify screwtops

What are you doing right? Now... 

Current Blistering Voltage, III

Sinners with the most erotic voices

Most epoch-ending foreign orchestral work 

Wagner nude, looking for the best Ring


----------



## TresPicos

What will happen when we reach post #7777 in this thread? 

Do you think it will be like Y2K or like the Mayan calendar thingy? I've bought some extra supplies just in case, so I can stay inside for a couple of weeks, if needed.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TresPicos said:


> What will happen when we reach post #7777 in this thread?
> 
> Do you think it will be like Y2K or like the Mayan calendar thingy? I've bought some extra supplies just in case, so I can stay inside for a couple of weeks, if needed.


Hello there.


----------



## arpeggio

Would I be violating the TOS is I made derogatory comments about myself?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

arpeggio said:


> Would I be violating the TOS is I made derogatory comments about myself?


I think it might be a matter for a moderator's discretion, arpeggio. But *don't* tell us if you put yourself on "ignore"


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> Would I be violating the TOS is I made derogatory comments about myself?


All anyone else can do is support you in your efforts.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TC members that need psychiatric help


----------



## Skilmarilion

Skilmarilion said:


> Tyson Fury: String Quartet No. 1 in E-flat major
> 
> I. Allegro con fuoco
> II. Passacaglia: Largo e molto fuoco
> III. Scherzo: Fuoco, doch nicht schleppend
> IV. Intermezzo: Fuoco e dolce
> V. Fuoco


Tyson Fury: String Quartet No. 2

(signals a move away from the tonal, romantic sensibilities of the first quartet towards a freely atonal aesthetic with aleatoric elements as well as dark inflections of the dies irae chant)

I. rondo-burleske: fuocoissimo
II. molto adagio espressivo quasi feroce
III. lento assai, sehr fuoco
IV. feroce poetico con grandezza


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Abraham Lincoln said:


> TC members that need psychiatric help


Hmmm...


----------



## Skilmarilion

Tyson Fury: String Quartet No. 3 (with live electronics)

(a landmark work within Fury's ouevre, defined by a unique, symmetrical five-movement design which recalls the Beethoven pastoral symphony and/or the Glass No. 10)

I. slow - ferity
II. fast - furiously
II. fast - fiercely
IV. fast - feriociously
V. slow - fury


----------



## TresPicos

Okay, it seems like we all survived the STI 7777 event. I haven't heard from Down Under yet, but I'd like to think they just slept through the whole thing. So, it was pretty much like 2012 and Y2K, then.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Skilmarilion said:


> Tyson Fury: String Quartet No. 3 (with live electronics)
> 
> (a landmark work within Fury's ouevre, defined by a unique, symmetrical five-movement design which recalls the Beethoven pastoral symphony and/or the Glass No. 10)
> 
> I. slow - ferity
> II. fast - furiously
> II. fast - fiercely
> IV. fast - feriociously
> V. slow - fury


I thought this quartet featured live *histrionics*, Skilmarillion?


----------



## Dim7

Where to go to deteriorate my knowledge of harmony?


----------



## Dim7

Who would be the John Cage of music?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> I have now 1000+ STI posts. Congratulate me.


Congratulations on your prolific stupidity. :trp:


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> I have now 1000+ STI posts. Congratulate me.


It couldn't happen to a more deserving chord!


----------



## TresPicos

The Complete Classical Music Box Set - what does it cost, and where can I find it? 

And don't say A m a z o n! 

People usually tell me to look there for stuff. Yeah, like I would want to hack my way through a humid and dangerous jungle covering half a continent... Oh, and perhaps I should buy my groceries in the Antarctic?


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Alma Deutschebag


You know, I never knew who Alma Deutscher was until I looked her up after seeing her name so many times in so many of your posts.

Thank you for introducing me to her. I am really enjoying her recordings.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Write withe spaces wheref you feelike.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

mstar said:


> You know, I never knew who Alma Deutscher was until I looked her up after seeing her name so many times in so many of your posts.
> 
> Thank you for introducing me to her. I am really enjoying her recordings.


Take good care of yourself, mstar! :'P


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Take good care of yourself, mstar! :'P


I wasn't serious; I just wanted to see what you would say.


----------



## Guest

Who would be the Xenakis of bluegrass?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Who would be the Alma Deutscher of STI?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Poll: Is Johnny Rotten the:

ↈ Haydn
ↈ Beethoven
ↈ Mahler
ↈ Schoenberg
ↈ Boulez
ↈ Stockhausen
ↈ other

of Punk Rock?

Argue aggressively, but spitting discouraged, please.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: Is Johnny Rotten the:
> 
> ↈ Haydn
> ↈ Beethoven
> ↈ Mahler
> ↈ Schoenberg
> ↈ Boulez
> ↈ Stockhausen
> ↈ other
> 
> of Punk Rock?
> 
> Please argue. Spitting discouraged, please.


"other"

"I am an anti-christ."


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TurnaboutVox said:


> Poll: Is Johnny Rotten the:
> 
> ↈ Haydn
> ↈ Beethoven
> ↈ Mahler
> ↈ Schoenberg
> ↈ Boulez
> ↈ Stockhausen
> ↈ other
> 
> of Punk Rock?
> 
> Please argue aggressively. Spitting discouraged, please.


*spit* *spit* *spit*


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Ye Myddel Englyshe Subbe-Foarum:
Ye Moderatores haue maden ye Decysyon to Extende the Myddel-Englyshe Threade in ye Socyal Gruppes to Be-Come ane Entyr Neue Subbe-Foarum. We hopen thatte thys Uenture wille be Success-fillèd.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Ye Myddel Englyshe Subbe-Foarum:
> Ye Moderatores haue maden ye Decysyon to Extende the Myddel-Englyshe Threade in ye Socyal Gruppes to Be-Come ane Entyr Neue Subbe-Foarum. We hopen thatte thys Uenture wille be Success-fillèd.


Noe, I thinke itte be notte goode, Master Moonlicht, forre I shalle bee stucken writtinge thys waye in cod Middel-Englysshe forre everre aftyr.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Noe, I thinke itte be notte goode, Master Moonlicht, forre I shalle bee stucken writtinge thys waye in cod Middel-Englysshe forre everre aftyr.


Goodde syre thou arst a weekling and nonny shalle doubbt thyss, iffe yea canst notte thee moderyte thyne wurdds upoyn thyss payge henceforthe. Trulyy thyne bea called a faggyt and thenn summe.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> Goodde syre thou arst a weekling and nonny shalle doubbt thyss, iffe yea canst notte thee moderyte thyne wurdds upoyn thyss payge henceforthe. Trulyy thyne bea called a faggyt and thenn summe.


Whye Sir dogen, thou dost me ane grayv and unjuste hurte. I challaunge thee to a duell. It shaulle be Lutes and Dulcimers at daye-break!


----------



## Dim7

And ye Inquisicionne shalle notte tolerayten fortune tellynge wytches....


----------



## Mahlerian

And whan that duell comme upon us, shall we say
That several divers wepens were employed that day
Somtyme a blad sharpe, or ax doull
Fell upon a victme, and thus blud upon all.


----------



## Dim7

Decent Thread Ideas


----------



## Guest

The insignificance of Edna Cracknell.


----------



## Dim7

Cats vs. dogens


----------



## Dim7

deleted........................


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

elided.............................


----------



## Mahlerian

Ellipses...

...
...
...

...ellipses.


----------



## Dim7

added..............................


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

cats...................................


----------



## Art Rock

Any subject that attracts the usual suspects - since I have put them on ignore, these discussion threads become very difficult to follow.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The unspeakable

Here you can formally violate some regions of the ToS as long as you do it in a partially incomprehensible manner. 

Example:

I phlghthng haolrrrrr blurddddnck, I hope he dhlrfnk in a glrrrrpshhhhh.


----------



## Dim7

Does Agitated science Get "Young"?


----------



## Pugg

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the vilest off them all


----------



## Dim7

Throw some babies out with the bathwater


----------



## TresPicos

*Things*

Everyone, nominate things you like or dislike or whatever, and then we vote.


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> Everyone, nominate things you like or dislike or whatever, and then we vote.


I'm not quite sure what you're after; could you be more general and vague?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> Everyone, nominate things you like or dislike or whatever, and then we vote.


http://www.talkclassical.com/40549-dim7s-la-carte-poll.html?highlight=


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> I'm not quite sure what you're after; could you be more general and vague?


Things, man. Things.


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> Things, man. Things.


Thanks for the clarification. I'll think about things.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> http://www.talkclassical.com/40549-dim7s-la-carte-poll.html?highlight=


Are you accepting nominations?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Are you accepting nominations?


For the next poll, yes.


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> Dim7's A la carte poll #1


I notice that TVox voted for everything except nuggets.

What has he got against nuggets?


----------



## Skilmarilion

*Your favourite 5.43 billion pieces of music all time*

Quite simply, list your favourite 5.43 billion pieces of music all time.

Some indications:

- "Favourite" implies "your personal taste", so to avoid any type of debate about objectivity vs subjectivity.
- If you are about to write things like "too many to choose" or "why even select 5.43 billion? there's a lot of great music that I love equally and do not want to give up", or similar dismissals of ranking exercises, well, you can avoid writing it, because see? I wrote that just here already. And everyone knows this already. However I suggest you do try thinking of 5.43 billion works, please...

A very big THANK YOU to those who will contribute.


----------



## Dim7

Meaningless thread ideas


----------



## Cosmos

Skilmarilion said:


> *Your favourite 5.43 billion pieces of music all time*
> 
> Quite simply, list your favourite 5.43 billion pieces of music all time.
> 
> Some indications:
> 
> - "Favourite" implies "your personal taste", so to avoid any type of debate about objectivity vs subjectivity.
> - If you are about to write things like "too many to choose" or "why even select 5.43 billion? there's a lot of great music that I love equally and do not want to give up", or similar dismissals of ranking exercises, well, you can avoid writing it, because see? I wrote that just here already. And everyone knows this already. However I suggest you do try thinking of 5.43 billion works, please...
> 
> A very big THANK YOU to those who will contribute.


Oh and no opera please :tiphat:


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> I notice that TVox voted for everything except nuggets.
> 
> What has he got against nuggets?


He was let down by them when he was a child.


----------



## TresPicos

What animal does the STI thread turn you into?

Me: a fly, mesmerized by a light bulb, repeatedly bumping into it, oblivious of everything else.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> He was let down by them when he was a child.


Thank you, Dr dogen. No, in fact I was plagued by demands _for_ them when I _had_ children.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Thank you, Dr dogen. No, in fact I was plagued by demands _for_ them when I _had_ children.


Wisdom or confectionery?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> Wisdom or confectionery?


McChicken Nuggets, or Chicken McNuggets, or whatever the corporate brainwashers taught my kids to say.

Anyway the brainwashing backfired because neither of them would touch a McDonalds nowadays, one for reasons of veganism and the other for reasons of gastronomy!


----------



## Zarathustra

Stupid religious thread ideas

What music is heard in heaven? And does it grow old or is it timeless? Do the souls agree on what to listen to or are there debates? Do composers of malevolent music go to hell? If an interrupted pregnancy is a sin, did Brahms also go to hell for burning some of his and Schumann's sketches? What are Jesus's Top50 favourite recordings? Does God prefer Parsifal or The Ring?


----------



## Dim7

Dangerous thread ideas


----------



## Zarathustra

Dim7 said:


> Dangerous thread ideas


Was there not a thread where posters tried to guess the next user to be banned? With impressive accuracy.


----------



## arpeggio

Since Alma Deutscher is a greater music prodigy than Mozart should we stop listening to Mozart?


----------



## Guest

Zarathustra said:


> Was there not a thread where posters tried to guess the next user to be banned? With impressive accuracy.


Yes! I got a prize for correctly naming the enforced retiree. For 24 hours I was allowed to post anything I wanted to. Some called it flagrant foul-mouthed abuse; I prefer to say it was just some home truths.


----------



## Guest

Cinema at the Opera.

Which are your go-to films on your tablet when you get dragged along to an opera?


----------



## Dim7

Have a serious angry debate about something totally subjective (an extremely common occurence here in fact)


----------



## Guest

Current sewage.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Why are Modern Artists so Bald?


----------



## Zarathustra

dogen said:


> Cinema at the Opera.
> 
> Why not go to see a live opera but listen instead to a recording you have on your I-Pod? Then you can get the best of two worlds: the beauty of mono sound recording and the visual attraction of regie theatre.


----------



## Zarathustra

*Is all Modern art bold?* _Renaissance was pretty italic, no?_

Apologies to everyone who had to read this.


----------



## Skilmarilion

** sorry, please remove **


----------



## Skilmarilion

*The TC Top 0.000003765 Recommended Passacaglias for Bassoon and Snare Drum*.

Nomination Round 1 is now open!

You may nominate 0.00000025884 works in this round.


----------



## Skilmarilion

*Works inspired by 4'33"*

Reich: Music for No Musicians
Messiaen: Quartet for no time in particular
Adams: The Dharma at Nowhere
Bruckner: Symphony No. 0 
Debussy: The Girl with no Hair
Glass: Einstein not on a beach


----------



## arpeggio

Why is it to early to tell if Boulez is a great composer but Alma Deutscher is already an established master?


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> Why is it to early to tell if Boulez is a great composer but Alma Deutscher is already an established master?


I'm sorry but that level of stupidity is outside the remit of this thread.


----------



## Dim7

Works inspired by themselves


----------



## Dim7

*Composers transcending style periods other than their own*

Xenakis did this in respect to the Classical era. He doesn't sound anything like Haydn or Mozart.


----------



## Dim7

Why are modern baddies so artful?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is Alma Deutscher evil?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

music that makes you want to go to lunch


----------



## arpeggio

I hate _Lulu_. Prove to me I am wrong.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

We erased some posts that positively commented on other members. This topic deserves to have people focus on others' insults. Let's make this a stale start and have misery.


----------



## Balthazar

*Stock Market Gyrations and TC Thread Lockdowns: Correlation or Causation?*


----------



## Balthazar

MoonlightSonata said:


> Why are Modern Artists so Bald?


(must... not... post... Britney... photo..............)


----------



## Pugg

why is bach more worshiped than vivaldi on talk classical?


----------



## Mahlerian

Balthazar said:


> *Stock Market Gyrations and TC Thread Lockdowns: Correlation or Causation?*


Well, they're the same thing, aren't they? It's what I've always used to prove Schoenberg drove audiences away...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Almond Schoenberg


----------



## Dim7

A la carte poll: Which of these likes do you like?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Poll: Why do you love Schönberg?*


----------



## arpeggio

What is your favorite Pole?


----------



## Guest

tldr In the days before the Fall (ie when music was on vinyl albums) the order of the tracks over the two sides was incredibly important and understood by all. My highest career ambition was to be someone whose job it was to decide on album track order. Unfortunately the course of history took it all away from me and I never realised my dream, nor found out the correct job title, as the vinyl album became all but extinct.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*TC Member Rebuses* (rebi?)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10







N


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

MoonlightSonata said:


> *TC Member Rebuses* (rebi?)
> 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
> 
> View attachment 80613
> N
> 
> View attachment 80614
> View attachment 80615
> 
> 
> View attachment 80616


dogen
Krummhorn
Pugg


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Solti salty?


----------



## Dim7

Sinners with the most hedonic vices


----------



## joen_cph

Singers with the most helloic voices


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *TC Member Rebuses* (rebi?)
> 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
> 
> View attachment 80613
> N
> 
> View attachment 80614
> View attachment 80615
> 
> 
> View attachment 80616


http://www.talkclassical.com/40826-visual-puns.html


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me Celibidache recordings of Bruckner symphonies that are maybe shorter than 3 hours 46 minutes.

Recommend me Celibidache recordings of Bruckner symphonies where the adagio is less than 2 hours longer than the rest of the movements combined.

Recommend me Celibidache recordings of Bruckner Symphony no. 6 in A major that requires a box set of less than 14 discs.


----------



## mstar

arpeggio said:


> Why is it to early to tell if Boulez is a great composer but Alma Deutscher is already an established master?


On a serious note, Alma's greatness won't last. Boulez's will, so I guess people have to consider him... well, _seriously_.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

joen_cph said:


> Singers with the most helloic voices


Er...Lionel Ritchie?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

mstar said:


> On a serious note, Alma's greatness won't last. Boulez's will, so I guess people have to consider him... well, _seriously_.


What makes you think Alma's greatness won't last? Not bashing, just curious. :'P


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

If TC were a Noah's Ark, which user members would be killed first for food?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Richannes Wrahms said:


> If TC were a Noah's Ark, which user members would be killed first for food?


The ones that haven't posted in a year or more.


----------



## Dim7

Boulez Vs. Rick Astley - The Differences


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Boulez Vs. Rick Astley - The Differences


Using links to Boulez's music as a prank hasn't caught on yet.

On that subject, here's some new information on Rickrolling stats that might interest you.


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> Using links to Boulez's music as a prank hasn't caught on yet.
> 
> On that subject, here's some new information on Rickrolling stats that might interest you.


That's too easy on the ears- you have to use Piano Sonata no. 2 when Boulezrolling.


----------



## Guest

The Wisdom of Roger Scrotum.


----------



## joen_cph

TurnaboutVox said:


> Er...Lionel Ritchie?


OK, I got it 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hello_(Lionel_Richie_song)





It turns out there´s also a new one by Adele:
http://www.theguardian.com/music/video/2015/oct/23/adele-hello-new-song-25-video


----------



## SimonNZ

What road signs and dashboard gauges are you currently reading?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Mahlerian said:


> Using links to Boulez's music as a prank hasn't caught on yet.
> 
> On that subject, here's some new information on Rickrolling stats that might interest you.


Aieee ! J'ai été Boulez-Rouléz !


----------



## Balthazar

*Music that Avoids You?*


----------



## Guest

What serious crimes have you committed - Come in and share!


----------



## SimonNZ

"Pieces of Eight! Pieces of Eight!": Parrot-talk in the works of Messiaen


----------



## Dim7

How long was Mara Callas' "Lawful Evil" period?


----------



## TresPicos

*Curse of the ninth?*

Okay, so I understand Beethoven put this curse on his ninth symphony. But why did he do that?

And why do orchestras keep playing it, if it is cursed? Are they crazy? Stop playing it! It's dangerous!


----------



## TresPicos

Expressions you use that other people hate although they have never told you so.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

*The "Don't travel" advice thread*

I thought a general thread with an exchange of advice and ideas could be useful & interesting ...

Am being forced to go for a week to *Preston*


----------



## Dim7

New Obstructor Adminstrator.....


----------



## hpowders

Area 51:

Announcement!

Hello posters! Hope today finds you well!

It's like this: We need 10 TC volunteers to be pseudo-banned for time intervals of 3 months up to 5 years to study the effects on the human body and brain. The results are to be used for a PhD thesis in Sociological Psychology. You will keep an ongoing diary in an official TC notebook. Please be patient as we anticipate high call and email volume in response to this post.


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> New Obstructor Adminstrator.....


Don't tell me you've been replaced!


----------



## hpowders

Post under repair.


----------



## hpowders

Post sent out for repair.


----------



## Dim7

If you absolutely had to listen to a piece of classical music, what piece would you choose?


----------



## mstar

Guess which of your friends or relatives are secretly one of those hundreds of "phantom" guest users.


----------



## Dim7

*Where am I?*

What is this place?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How can I be as witty as the other posters on this thread?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*The persistence challenge.
*
Pick one piece to listen to once every day for the next 5 years and report on recordings and new discoveries you make.


----------



## mstar

Works that take you under the water. 

What works make you gasp for air and plead for mercy on your poor ears?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

I want to thank the moderators and forum members for making TC a wonderful place for music recommendations, intellectual discussion, composition help, making friends, and having a great time.

I do, however, have a humble criticism regarding this site which we can, in fact, all do a part to help in.

There really is insufficient discussion about Schoenberg. Among the major composers, he is the one that perhaps is talked about the least on this site. There really haven't been that many threads about him or his compositional technique.

It's a bit disappointing, and so I suggest we start a thread to discuss his merits. He's just not been talked about much on TC.


----------



## arpeggio

^^^^^^^^^^^
What about _433_? We need a final debate to establish once and for all on whether or not it is music. One more time.


----------



## Dim7

Social group: Apolitical junkies


----------



## Skilmarilion

Without Heinrich Ignaz Franz Biber there would be no ...

(please choose at least seven but not more than three of the below options)

a) 12-tone technique
b) electroacoustic music
c) Wigs
d) Justin Bieber
e) 4'33"
f) Shostakovich


----------



## Dim7

Difficult listening that you suffer with pride


----------



## Skilmarilion

What are Donald Trump's favourite HIP recordings of Boulez's second piano sonata?

What are your favourite operas with libretto by Sarah Palin?

Discuss: Controversial opera written by John Luther Adams, entitled Sarah Palin and the Fairbanks district, leads to him being denounced by President Trump.

Can Sarah Palin hear the music of Rimsky-Korsakov from Alaska?


----------



## Guest

Why is postmodern art so bad?


----------



## TresPicos

Why are discussions about modern art so bad, but feel so good?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are all track and field atheletes Schubert?


----------



## Dim7

The Non-Classical 'I Have No Idea What I'm Talking About' Topic


----------



## Guest

How am I supposed to consume Noodles?


----------



## Skilmarilion

*New thread on Schoenberg and Shostakovich:*

Discuss both composers simultaneously in a highly controversial manner with special care taken to insult their music whilst depicting fans of each composer as a bunch of stupid low-life degenerates.

... anyone who does not post in line with the spirit of this undoubtedly great thread will receive permanent bans or worse. Many thanks in advance.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Skilmarilion said:


> *New thread on Schoenberg and Shostakovich:*
> 
> Discuss both composers simultaneously in a highly controversial manner with special care taken to insult their music whilst depicting fans of each composer as a bunch of stupid low-life degenerates.
> 
> ... anyone who does not post in line with the spirit of this undoubtedly great thread will receive permanent bans or worse. Many thanks in advance.


Why have Schnittke and Beethoven's Grosse Fuge NOT been INCLUDED in this debate? Those are the musics I hate most. Thank you.


----------



## Vaneyes

TurnaboutVox said:


> Why have Schubert and Beethoven's Grosse Fuge NOT been INCLUDED in this debate? Those are the musics I hate most. Thank you.


I knew it hadta be a typo.


----------



## Dim7

What will become part of 'substandard' repertoire


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Various Artists vs. Anonymous


----------



## mstar

Do you own everything you buy?

Obsession to own everything you buy...


----------



## Dim7

Which STIs will be remembered by the future generations and which will be forgotten?


----------



## mstar

Dim7 said:


> Which STIs will be remembered by the future generations and which will be forgotten?


Hopefully they all go away - if they fall under the *Biology and psychology* subcategory.


----------



## arpeggio

Did programing Xenakis lead to the demise of the Mongolian Philharmonic?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Various Artists vs. Anonymous


Various artists, of course. Anonymous loves sending hate messages on tumblr.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Bot-sex review .


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The most important thread of the community forum ever.



o.p. said:


> I know it's been asked before but it never hurts to do it again: Are you in love? What is your sexual orientation?





Septimaltritone said:


> Oh God who doesn't exist but makes me fear hell while I attended group meditation to shut my brain up for a minute
> Life is ******* hard man! Why am I not bathing with a hot Asian ahhh if only girls didn't run away from me





Mahlerian said:


> septimaltritone said:
> 
> 
> 
> Oh God who doesn't exist but makes me fear hell while I attended group hypnotization to shut my brain up for a minute
> Life is ******* hard man! Why am I not bathing with a hot Asian ahhh if only girls didn't run away from me
> 
> 
> 
> 日本ではそこ共同入浴の伝統があり、それはセックスとは何の関係もありません。
> 
> また、 Googleは取得が悪化し、悪化変換します。
Click to expand...




> In Russia, bathrooms Asian you





Violadude said:


> septimaltritone said:
> 
> 
> 
> Oh God who doesn't exist but makes me fear hell while I attended group hypnotization to shut my brain up for a minute
> Life is ******* hard man! Why am I not bathing with a hot Asian ahhh if only girls didn't run away from me
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Mahlerian said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> septimaltritone said:
> 
> 
> 
> Oh God who doesn't exist but makes me fear hell while I attended group meditation to shut my brain up for a minute Life is ******* hard man! Why am I not bathing with a hot Asian ahhh if only girls didn't run away from me
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 日本ではそこ共同入浴の伝統があり、それはセックスとは何の関係もありません。
> 
> また、 Googleは取得が悪化し、悪化変換します。
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> In Russia, bathrooms Asian you
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> lol
Click to expand...




Couchie said:


> Richard Wagner, four days, I am willing.





Talkinghead said:


> Cucurbitaceae





> Antarctica





Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composer crush, I won't tell you.


[Hope I wasn't too rough on anybody]


----------



## hpowders

New Game!!

Post No.1: Hello posters. I give you the name of a secret classical work. You design the questions necessary to identify it. And then another poster begins the game all over again.

I'll start: Boulez: Répons.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

hpowders said:


> New Game!!man
> 
> Post No.1: Hello posters. I give you the name of a secret classical work. You design the questions necessary to identify it. And then another poster begins the game all over again.
> 
> I'll start: Boulez: Répons.


 66) My last guess, Mahlerian. Hmmm, composed between 1975 and 1985, European, has to be a composer you're enthusiastic about, it's not Carter...surely it's "Ballade pour Adeline" by Paul de Senneville, as played by Richard Clayderman. Go on, reveal all, what is it?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

If I get enough likes on this post I'll walk up to three people in a polyamorous gay relationship and ask "Which one of you is Bach, which one is Beethoven, and which one is Mozart?"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Abraham Lincoln said:


> If I get enough likes on this post I'll walk up to three people in a polyamorous gay relationship and ask "Which one of you is Bach, which one is Beethoven, and which one is Mozart?"


Good luck finding a group of three people of the same gender who aren't just friends...


----------



## SimonNZ

How often do you Contemporary fans mistake the tune-up for the start of the concert?


----------



## SimonNZ

Please recommend me programme music with lots of surprise plot twists and cliffhangers and double-crosses, like where someone in the brass section is secretly working for the strings and the brass section is getting suspicious.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why do I keep forgetting about Schubert?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Rock, paper or scissors?


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why do I keep forgetting about Schubert?


Because his music wasn't memorable?


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> 66) My last guess, Mahlerian. Hmmm, composed between 1975 and 1985, European, has to be a composer you're enthusiastic about, it's not Carter...surely it's "Ballade pour Adeline" by Paul de Senneville, as played by Richard Clayderman. Go on, reveal all, what is it?


Excellent! Now you can start the process all over again as I did some 8 months ago with post No. 1.


----------



## Dim7

*An embarrassing confession*

During my STI career that has lasted for over a year (!) already, I have quickly aquired a honorable reputation as one of the greatest idiots, if not *the* greatest idiot of Talk Classical. All this time I have however been hiding something that would completely stain this reputation. It's time to tell the truth.

I... actually have a genius-level IQ.

Though I cannot expect you to accept me for who I really am, I have to apologize for betraying everyone this way.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Recommend me Richard Clayderman atonal passacaglias.

Recommend me Richard Clayderman neo-classical brass fanfares.

Recommend me Richard Clayderman jazz-influenced madrigals.

Recommend me Richard Clayderman aleatoric works for string trio and tape.

Recommend me Stockhausen's favourite recordings of Richard Clayderman chill out classics.


----------



## Dim7

*For this piece, I would kill....*

This thread works like this: I mention a classical piece. You tell which TC member you would kill for that piece, if any. Then you choose the next piece and the next poster tells which TC member he would kill for that piece etc.


----------



## Blancrocher

Dim7 said:


> During my STI career that has lasted for over a year (!) already, I have quickly aquired a honorable reputation as one of the greatest idiots, if not *the* greatest idiot of Talk Classical. All this time I have however been hiding something that would completely stain this reputation. It's time to tell the truth.
> 
> I... actually have a genius-level IQ.
> 
> Though I cannot expect you to accept me for who I really am, I have to apologize for betraying everyone this way.


It's possible that all of us on the forum have genius-level IQs, in which case you might still be the dumbest person around.


----------



## Chronochromie

hpowders said:


> Because his music wasn't memorable?


You're thinking of Persichetti.


----------



## arpeggio

What can we do to prove to the general public that Bach is a greater composer than Taylor Swift?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

arpeggio said:


> What can we do to prove to the general public that Bach is a greater composer than Taylor Swift?


He had a child when he was 57.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Feline Meddlesome Bastardy


----------



## Dim7

Favorite Fist Movement


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why am I laughing uncontrollably?


----------



## Guest

What factors contribute to composers becoming fat?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I have noticed that a very high percentage of the composers that we listen to seem to be dead. 

What do TC members think are the factors which lead to such high mortality figures? 

One idea I had was that maybe staff paper and keyboard ivory are highly toxic? 

This might explain why composers born after 1960 seem to have much lower death rates. Presumably they've had access to keyboards with plastic keys and computer based notation methods instead.


----------



## mstar

TurnaboutVox said:


> I have noticed that a very high percentage of the composers that we listen to seem to be dead.


My teacher a few days ago, to a room with 1 classical music listener (me): "What do you notice about classical composers? They're all white and dead."
I just didn't respond.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Why are discussions about modern art so bad, but feel so good?


See "Wagner threads".


----------



## hpowders

Which piece by a forgotten composer can't you remember anymore?

U-Tube examples, please to support your positions.


----------



## TresPicos

*Announcement*

After numerous complaints from more distinguished TalkClassical users, regarding the "Stupid Thread Ideas" (STI) thread and its effect on the overall quality of this fine forum, we have decided that the time has come to part with this specific thread.

Tomorrow, the STI thread will be moved to a competing classical music discussion forum. In exchange, TalkClassical will receive two of their threads ("Modern art - the emperor's new clothes" and "Which composer is, more than any other, responsible for the massive derailment of classical music that took place in the 20th Century?")

Unfortunately, due to the forum rules that we - contrary to what some users keep implying - are also obliged to follow, we are not at liberty to disclose which competing forum will be taking over the STI thread. However, you will certainly be able to find it with a simple Google search. So, to all prolific STI posters, we wish to say: Goodbye and good luck!

/The Administrators


----------



## Dim7

*Compose the Composition* [GAME]

The rules are: I imagine a new composition in my head. I'll give a hint to you about this composition. You can ask up to 30 yes-or-no questions about this piece, including "Is it this piece [a link to an audiofile or a score of the piece that is perfectly as I imagined it]"? When somebody get its right he will be the next to compose a new piece and others try to compose the exact same piece he is thinking etc.


----------



## SimonNZ

Recommend me Duets for left hand and right hand


----------



## Dim7

What will be the last classical piece that you hate?


----------



## hpowders

Would somebody hopelessly tone deaf prefer the music of Boulez and Schoenberg to Mozart and Brahms?
(There! I have generously given some lucky soul a PhD in Music dissertation topic!)


----------



## mstar

When you're NOT listening to music, what do you listen to?


----------



## SimonNZ

How many of what we now think of as early harpsichord recordings (eg. Landowska's Goldbergs) were actually piano performances recorded at the wrong speed?


----------



## SimonNZ

What does Frederik Magle think of Schoenberg and so-called "atonal" music? And how much impact does this have on what rudeness is allowed and what rudeness is punished on TC?


----------



## hpowders

Forum Complaints. Registered Members only. Don't even think of posting here if you're not. We have a list!

Post no.1: Hello management: Why must I have to wait three seconds between awarding consecutive "likes"? It is destroying my rhythm.

I notice this post was recently sent over here, I guess because more posters would see it.


----------



## hpowders

Friends List Quota.

Post no.1: Newbie here. I want to keep my friends list at 20 posters. What's the best way to reject posters who exceed the quota, without hurting their feelings?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

mstar said:


> When you're NOT listening to music, what do you listen to?


4'33" by John Cage.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Salieri Bashing Thread


----------



## mstar

Which six musicians (dead or alive) would you invite as dinner?


----------



## mstar

Famous composers & musicians who like to ignore you.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Great HIP recordings of Helikopter-Streichquartett.


----------



## Dim7

Famous composers & musicians who won't leave you alone


----------



## Dim7

If You Like Wagner Then You Might Be A....


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Morimur doesn't believe BurningDesire exists. What can we do to remedy this?


----------



## Pugg

Modernist/anti-modernist problem


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

John Cage = John Cena ?


----------



## Dim7

Avoiding a song and it's driving me sane


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bach vs Boulez ..................


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Bach vs Bach vs Bach vs Bach


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Antonio Canova vs Ludwig van Beethoven


----------



## Dim7

Ever have crushed a composer?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ever crashed into a composer?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Composers by clerihew. Thus:

For compostion Mahler
Disliked the parlour,
But emphatically said
that he'd much prefer a shed


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dr Johnson said:


> Composers by clerihew. Thus:
> 
> For compostion Mahler
> Disliked the parlour,
> But emphatically said
> that he'd much prefer a shed


This isn't a stupid idea at all. Why not open a Composer Clerihew thread, Dr Johnson? A Capital idea.

Though composer Frank Bridge 
Didn't share her cottage
A good friend was Marjorie Fass
Who thought his works had 'class'


----------



## Dr Johnson

TurnaboutVox said:


> This isn't a stupid idea at all. Why not open a Composer Clerihew thread, Dr Johnson? A Capital idea.
> 
> Though composer Frank Bridge
> Didn't share her cottage
> A good friend was Marjorie Fass
> Who thought his works had 'class'


As you had the idea of a (real) Composer Clerihew Thread, I feel that you should have the honour of initiating it.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dr Johnson said:


> As you had the idea of a (real) Composer Clerihew Thread, I feel that you should have the honour of initiating it.


OK. Consider it done.


----------



## Guest

Skilmarilion said:


> Great HIP recordings of Helikopter-Streichquartett.


Hey, one day this might not be an STI any longer. People of the future might want to use helicopters of the time to replicate the turbine noise in a historically-informed manner


----------



## mstar

Best entrance by a piano in a piano concerto? Pictures welcome.


----------



## Pugg

Ever had a crush on a composer?


----------



## Guest

Poll.

TC personality types that annoy you the most.


----------



## Pugg

dogen said:


> Poll.
> 
> TC personality types that annoy you the most.


That would be against the rules I believe


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ever had a crash on your computer?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ever had a composer crash into your crushed computer?


----------



## Guest

Pugg said:


> That would be against the rules I believe


Personality types, not named individuals! ENFJ and ESFJ wind me up the most! - no ToS violation there, surely?!?!


----------



## Dim7

A thread were we act like our opposite personality type - for instance if you are INTJ, act like ESFP.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Does Richannes Wrahms have a crush on SeptimalTritone?


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Does Richannes Wrahms have a crush on SeptimalTritone?


More like the other way around.


----------



## Dim7

Attention deficit hyperactive threads


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

4'33" discussion thread


----------



## mstar

Dim7 said:


> More like the other way around.


What did I just read?!!


----------



## Lukecash12

How to pass an exam.


----------



## Dim7

IQ 2^n Thread Ideas


----------



## Dim7

When exactly blackened death metal becomes deathened black metal


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

If you pit Mozart against Salieri in a death battle, would Alma Deutscher win?


----------



## Lukecash12

Can you guys think of any good music to hump to?


----------



## Guest

Sceptical socks.


----------



## Pugg

Mirror mirror on the wall who's the vilest of them all :lol:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do you use people who stay away from terrible drugs?


----------



## Dim7

Do you use terrible drugs on people who stay away from you?


----------



## Dim7

Do you stalk people who use awesome drugs?


----------



## Skilmarilion

in which I resolve the Richard Clayderman debate

in which I did not resolve debate stockhausen

in which xenaxis did or did not resolve stochastic process string trios debates

in which mYASKOVKSY resolves the debate in G-sharp minor symphony No. 17 

in which you resolve the "atonality in renaissance chant" great debate

in resolve debate which


----------



## Dim7

A Piece of Music that Changed Your Gender


----------



## Guest

Am I deluded? Or are you?


----------



## TresPicos

*The effect of classical music on animals*

So far, I've only heard of two cases where classical music has been proven to have an effect on animals: cows producing more milk while listening to Mozart, and snakes producing more venom while listening to Stravinsky. Has anyone here heard of other cases? Which animals do you think would be susceptible, and to whose music?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Who is the WORST symphonistest of them all?


----------



## Dim7

TresPicos said:


> So far, I've only heard of two cases where classical music has been proven to have an effect on animals: cows producing more milk while listening to Mozart, and snakes producing more venom while listening to Stravinsky. Has anyone here heard of other cases? Which animals do you think would be susceptible, and to whose music?


I was about to post "Influence of animals on classical music", but they I realized there indeed is influence of non-human animals on classical.....


----------



## mstar

Music that scares you to tears. 

I'll start:
xenakisxenakisxenakisxenakis


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Are You Over Eight?


----------



## arpeggio

Why is it when an anti-modernist lobbies to prevent the programming of contemporary music at concerts they are not promoting censorship but if we question the motives of anti-modernist we are promoting censorship?


----------



## arpeggio

Have you ever regretted submitting stupid remarks at TC?


----------



## arpeggio

Do you suffer from athlete's foot and does it effect your ability to understand classical music?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are you J. S. Bach?


----------



## Dim7

Dim7's Idiot Savant Skills


----------



## Pugg

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Who is the WORST symphonists of them all?


From the butchers or the supermarket? :lol:


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Show revulsion to a fellow Talk Classical member.


----------



## Pugg

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Show revulsion to a fellow Talk Classical member.


Always better than repulsion:lol:


----------



## mstar

Classical composers that talk so relentlessly loud it's crazy?


----------



## Skilmarilion

Announcement from the Mods

Brand new rule to be enforced immediately - Every post by every member, regardless of the topic at hand, must make reference to at least one of the following:

i) the modernist / anti-modernist feud
ii) the fact that atonality sucks and/or does not suck and/or is actually real and/or is not actually real
ii) 4'33" and why it is not music and/or why it is music and people who say it isn't frankly should be banned
iv) Schoenberg's ping pong technique and whether his talents in this field led to the demise of tonality
v) Shostakovich and why his music should never be discussed without mentioning Stalin
vi) the genius of Mozart or lack thereof, citing the effect of this on Salieri and the 12-tone technique


----------



## Dr Johnson

Poll: Are You One Over The Eight? :cheers:


----------



## mstar

Should humanity grant benefits to classical music?


----------



## arpeggio

Is eating a Big Mac like listening to Webern? Will it cause cholesterol of the ears?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

That one's Richard Strauss.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Mendelssohn a necrophile?


----------



## Dim7

Does classical music benefit from humanity, or should it be left to AI?


----------



## Guest

Music that collapses on transient acquaintance.


----------



## Skilmarilion

*Which is your favourite of Strauss' opera cycle based on various classical record labels.*

- Ariadne Auf Naxos
- Maximillian auf Deutsche Grammophon
- Julius auf DECCA
- Steve auf Chandos
- Daniel auf Sony Masterworks
- Alexander auf Appian Publications & Recordings
- Mike auf Musikproduktion Dabringhaus und Grimm


----------



## Guest

Censorship: Should it be allowed to post full colour images depicting jars of instant coffee?


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> Is eating a Big Mac like listening to Webern? Will it cause cholesterol of the ears?


Post out for repair.


----------



## hpowders

New Maria Callas boxed set!!!

Post no. 1: Let me be the first to bring you this exciting news!!


----------



## mstar

Censorship: should we be allowed to post pictures of pianos flying down the stairs?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are we all actually pianos flying down the stairs?


----------



## mstar

Do you stay away from people...?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do you use terrible drugs on Bach whenever he wrote weak music?


----------



## Dim7

two functions in the groups that I'd like to smell


----------



## Skilmarilion

Suppose they played Berio's Sinfonia during the Super Bowl

Suppose Steve Reich played in the Super Bowl

Suppose they used french horns instead of footballs in the Super Bowl

Suppose Lady Gaga played the national anthem on the Ondes Martenot at the Super Bowl

Suppose they played the Super Bowl at La Scala


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Alma Deutcher vs. Alma Mahler


----------



## joen_cph

(sorry, repaired by deletion, cf post a little bit later)


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Flutist or flautist?


----------



## joen_cph

> Suppose they played Berio's Sinfonia during the Super Bowl
> 
> Suppose Steve Reich played in the Super Bowl
> 
> Suppose they used french horns instead of footballs in the Super Bowl
> 
> Suppose Lady Gaga played the national anthem on the Ondes Martenot at the Super Bowl
> 
> Suppose they played the Super Bowl at La Scala


^^^
poetry material, not STI ...


----------



## hpowders

Post deleted.


----------



## hpowders

mstar said:


> Do you stay away from people...?


Not everyone. Just family and friends.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why does Haydn bear the clock? 

Why does a Vox turn about?

Why is 7 dim?


----------



## hpowders

*Name Change Section:*

Please change my tag to "Die MeisterPöster", because all I have to do is say, "Hi all!" on Current Listening and I get 11 to 17 "likes".
I MUST be good!!


----------



## Guest

Fun Quiz!

Match the String Quartet with the attempted Genocide.


----------



## kartikeys

What classical music plays in your mind when your girlfriend is talking non-stop? 

String Quartet to break-up to.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is anyone's girlfriend J. S. Bach?


----------



## Dim7

Does Humanity Benefit From Arguments About Atonality?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

Post No.1: This forum is so vast, I need help finding this: I read somewhere on TC of a new book: "J.S. Bach: The Weak Music". I can't seem to find it on Amazon or anywhere else. HELP!!!


----------



## arpeggio

Did Bach compose any "weak" music?

I know he composed music for the Organ. I know he composed cantatas.

Since do not know what a "weak" is I have no idea.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

kartikeys said:


> What classical music plays in your mind when your girlfriend is talking non-stop?
> 
> String Quartet to break-up to.


Death and the Maiden...


----------



## hpowders

arpeggio said:


> Did Bach compose any "weak" music?
> 
> I know he composed music for the Organ. I know he composed cantatas.
> 
> Since do not know what a "weak" is I have no idea.


Do what I do. Simply check back here weakly.


----------



## arpeggio

I hate midevil composers because they are evil.

Being mid does not exonerate them.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

arpeggio said:


> I hate midevil composers because they are evil.
> 
> Being mid does not exonerate them.


What about mildevil composers, who might've only, like, burned real witches? But not the ones who used Satanic tritones, obviously lol.


----------



## arpeggio

These discussions are getting too silly.


----------



## arpeggio

Are there any great composers who dislike you?


----------



## arpeggio

Did Anyone actually like David Bowie that much?

Since I have not seen Anyone in twenty years I do not know.

I think his cousin Everybody did.


----------



## arpeggio

How I cleared up the tonality debate by resolving the leading tone to the tonic.


----------



## arpeggio

TurnaboutVox said:


> What about mildevil composers, who might've only, like, burned real witches? But not the ones who used Satanic tritones, obviously lol.


They are all evil since "devil" appears in "mildevil".


----------



## TurnaboutVox

arpeggio said:


> They are all evil since "devil" appears in "mildevil".


Gosh, you'll make a Taliban commander yet with that sort of logic :devil:


----------



## Guest

Related conspiracy theories: the moon landing and Bowie's popularity. The secret connection that they don't want you to know about.


----------



## Guest

Last edited by dogen; Tomorrow at 10:16.

Posting from the future.


----------



## Lukecash12

dogen said:


> Last edited by dogen; Tomorrow at 10:16.
> 
> Posting from the future.


I love this one. It reminds me of the "future Dwight" scenes on The Office.


----------



## Guest

Lukecash12 said:


> I love this one. It reminds me of the "future Dwight" scenes on The Office.


That the American one I take it?


----------



## mstar

Slight reading exercises


----------



## Lukecash12

dogen said:


> That the American one I take it?


Yeah, it's the American one. I love both of them but have to admit that a few of the characters in the American one edge it out for me. This is coming from a guy that loves UK humor and absolutely devoured the Black Adder.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Boredom that cries you to music?


----------



## Guest

New Emerson Lake & Palmer album.
It's called Trilogy.


----------



## Dim7

*Will you have a public afterlife?*

Big Brother in heaven/hell?


----------



## arpeggio

Genius Alfred E. Newman or Homer Simpson.


----------



## Guest

Is pineapple on pizza a stroke of genius or simply great?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Would that be a Pineapple Poll?



I'll get my coat.


----------



## Dim7

What kind of person plays you? (For instruments)


----------



## hpowders

Which 5 composers would you kill if you had the chance. YouTube examples please!


----------



## hpowders

If you could save only 5 TC posters for humanity.


----------



## hpowders

Share your CD post-listening procedures:

Post No. 1:

Here's mine:

1. Get out of listening chair.

2. Open CD compartment.

3. Remove CD.

4. Place CD back in jewel case or box.

5. Turn off CD player with my remote control.

6. Turn the light off.

7. Leave the listening room.

Please share your favorite post-listening procedures.

Should be a service to all the classical newbies coming onboard every day.


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 has been promoted to an Asinine Adminstrator


----------



## Badinerie

Top five illegal/improbable things you have done in a packed opera house or Concert Hall.


----------



## mstar

Badinerie said:


> Top five illegal/improbable things you have done in a packed opera house or Concert Hall.


1. Clapped between movements.


----------



## arpeggio

Pick your 538¾ favorite composers who were born between 1842 and 1748.


----------



## Dim7

*Is Mahlerian atonal?*

Naturally, as he doesn't believe in the concept, he denies that he is:



Mahlerian said:


> I'm not an atonal person


But I'm not sure whether to take his word for it. I mean, I'm pretty sure he isn't in any key. Nor do I think he has any tonal centre. Of course Mahlerian will argue that it is impossible to completely avoid tonal centres, but that's bull****.....


----------



## Dim7

Everything you wanted to know about the question you are asking but were afraid to ask


----------



## arpeggio

Who will be more popular in a hundred years: Mozart or Salieri?


----------



## arpeggio

This is really not a stupid thread idea but a suggestion to all of our members who like polls. I really think that it would be helpful if one of the choices is "I don't know".

Note: Sorry for being base and going against the tenor of the thread.


----------



## aleazk

Poll: Wagner or Brahms?

Only Richannes Wrahms can vote.


----------



## joen_cph

^^^
got the "hidden joke", he he.


----------



## mstar

Is Mankind Too Advanced for Schnittke?

Schnittke v. Mankind

Schnittke v. Mankind v. Robber Barons


----------



## Guest

Mankind v Robber Barons

Womankind v Wagner


Winners of semi finals to meet in Grand Final, April 1st.


----------



## SimonNZ

Family-Friendly: Keeping TC clean for all the pre-schoolers and pre-teens currently logged on.


----------



## mstar

dogen said:


> Mankind v Robber Barons
> 
> Womankind v Wagner
> 
> Winners of semi finals to meet in Grand Final, *April 1st*.


rachmaninoff'sbirthdayyesyesyes


----------



## mstar

SimonNZ said:


> Family-Friendly: Keeping TC clean for all the pre-schoolers and pre-teens currently logged on.


To quote Morimur on _that_ thread: "Don't do drugs, kids."


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Brahms actually an intelligent hedgehog?


----------



## aleazk

In Today's Composers subforum: "Atonal variations in C sharp minor"

Hi, I'm an amateur composer and my quest is to unify bombastic tonal romanticism with objective "non-ego" atonalism. I plan to do it via fourier transforms over spaces of equivalence classes of notes.

What do you think??????????


----------



## hpowders

Whose stupid thread idea was Stupid Thread Ideas?


----------



## SeptimalTritone

aleazk said:


> In Today's Composers subforum: "Atonal variations in C sharp minor"
> 
> Hi, I'm an amateur composer and my quest is to unify bombastic tonal romanticism with objective "non-ego" atonalism. I plan to do it via fourier transforms over spaces of equivalence classes of notes.
> 
> What do you think??????????


Interestingly enough, an architecture of fractal patterns of pitch class spacings sounds like something Xenakis would do.

Not sure what I think of Xenakis lately. It seems his pitch patterns were more "architectural" than "syntactic". And rather than being non-ego, it just sounds kind of complacently static with the most simplistic egoic energy.

I tend to prefer his electronic works, like La Legende De'er or Bohor due to their wider timbral palette.

As far as "non-ego" atonalism, I used to think Webern was really crystalline and non-egoic. Then I realized that his music was actually really egoic and personal, as if one is singing their heart out in a dream world. Of course, it's fantastic, the string trio in particular.

Sorry for getting so intellectual. Your "stupid" thread ideas are too thought-provoking for me.


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is Brahms actually an intelligent hedgehog?











I regret looking up "intelligent hedgehog piano". But I will not let my efforts go to waste. Thus, you see the above.


----------



## Guest

Do you have a life?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do you have a secret?


----------



## Lukecash12

Which composer would have looked best in a thong?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Lukecash12 said:


> Which composer would have looked best in a thong?


I think Brahms looks pretty good.


----------



## mstar

Lukecash12 said:


> Which composer would have looked best in a thong?


Oh man! How or why did that go through your mind? _*irreversibly scarred*_


----------



## Guest

Why is opera so bad?


----------



## Guest

Which Baroque period composer's music would be the best to broadcast in a concentration camp?


----------



## Guest

Poll.

Which is the greatest: real music or the [email protected] you listen to?

(Be advised that you are wrong)


----------



## SimonNZ

Alien vs. Webern

Boulez vs. Predator


----------



## Dim7

If You Could Only Shave 5 Composers for Humanity?


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> If You Could Only Shave 5 Composers for Humanity?


This guy could use one.


----------



## Blancrocher

*THE SELF-CENSORSHIP THREAD*

Hi Everybody! This is the Self-Censorship Thread!! This is where you go to do the work of an overzealous forum censor--as you see fit! That's right!!--Go ahead and be arbitrary if you want to!!! For example, say you're going to say something like "I don't even have a serious opinion," here you can change that to "I don't even have a ******* opinion." "Hey, Mahlerian, where'd you get that bearded face?" could become "Hey, Mahlerian, where'd you get that ******* face." Instead of saying "I'm not sure about that--in fact, they _can_" you could say "I'm not sure about that--**** ***."

What's lost in clarity is more than made up for in subtle suggestions and interesting ambiguities.

I can't wait to read your ******* posts, ********!!!!


----------



## aleazk

SeptimalTritone said:


> As far as "non-ego" atonalism, I used to think Webern was really crystalline and non-egoic. Then I realized that his music was actually really egoic and personal, as if one is singing their heart out in a dream world. Of course, it's fantastic, the string trio in particular.
> 
> Sorry for getting so intellectual. Your "stupid" thread ideas are too thought-provoking for me.


Yes, I agree. In fact, that's what I found attractive in his music the first time I listened to it. Webern actually said:

"_Except for the violin pieces and a few of my orchestra pieces, all of my works from the Passacaglia on relate to the death of my mother._"


----------



## Skilmarilion

great (or most impressive) alternative spellings of composer names to represent humanity or genius handel

Theme and variations form vs most impressive genius non-ego webern

genius non-sacred renaissance atonal passacaglias vs non-genius sacred non-renaissance tonal non-passacaglias genius

battle of the electroacoustic BAROQUE oboe concerti vs genius khachaturian

which non-theme would you write non-genius non-variations on

non-genius winners of most impressive and/or great grammys or genius non-impressive genius


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Lukecash12 said:


> Which composer would have looked best in a thong?


Schubert was rather good in a thong, and not bad either in a thtring quartet or a thymphony.


----------



## Guest

Blancrocher said:


> *THE SELF-CENSORSHIP THREAD*
> 
> Hi Everybody! This is the Self-Censorship Thread!! This is where you go to do the work of an overzealous forum censor--as you see fit! That's right!!--Go ahead and be arbitrary if you want to!!! For example, say you're going to say something like "I don't even have a serious opinion," here you can change that to "I don't even have a ******* opinion." "Hey, Mahlerian, where'd you get that bearded face?" could become "Hey, Mahlerian, where'd you get that ******* face." Instead of saying "I'm not sure about that--in fact, they _can_" you could say "I'm not sure about that--**** ***."
> 
> What's lost in clarity is more than made up for in subtle suggestions and interesting ambiguities.
> 
> I can't wait to read your ******* posts, ********!!!!


That's not a Stupid Idea, that's just a ******* ******* idea.


----------



## Guest

This thread is for "stupid thread ideas" - please stay on topic. Some posts have been moved to a new thread: Appalling Puns


----------



## clavichorder

The greatest Talk Nonsense threads


----------



## clavichorder

Mahlerian said:


> This guy could use one.


Although there is good style there.


----------



## clavichorder

Blancrocher said:


> *THE SELF-CENSORSHIP THREAD*
> 
> Hi Everybody! This is The Self-Censorship Thread


Bro, this is a great idea for Talk Nonsense. Go for it, I cosign this.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TurnaboutVox said:


> Schubert was rather good in a thong, and not bad either in a thtring quartet or a thymphony.





dogen said:


> This thread is for "stupid thread ideas" - please stay on topic. Some posts have been moved to a new thread: Appalling Puns


You thtill "liked" it, though!


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> You thtill "liked" it, though!


Yeth, it thertainly thtimulated me to thmirk.


----------



## Dim7

Intelligent question about Brilton Spabbitt


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Intelligent question about Mendelssohn


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

J. S. Bach was a trans lesbian?


----------



## Dim7

Movies that lobotomized you or ruined your abilty to think properly


----------



## Guest

Mozart's incomplete. 

Discuss.


----------



## Dim7

*Classical musicians who grab people who don't like classical music*

I was talking the other day with one of my friends about what kind of music we don't like. My friend said he doesn't like classical. Then suddenly Itzhak Perlman appeared from nowhere and grabbed my friend's ***. Is this something only Perlman does or are there other musicians like him?


----------



## Dedalus

Preferred instrument. Violin vs. Kazoo..

Following link not recommended for sanity (I watched the whole thing...)


----------



## arpeggio

Poll. Which is the greatest opera? You can only pick one:

_La traviata
Tosca
Der Ring des Nibelungen
Le nozze di Figaro
Aida
Così fan tutte
Carmen
Die Zauberflöte
Il trovatore
La Bohème_

Note: The joke for those who do not get it. According to Arkive Music these are the ten of the most recorded operas. I seriously doubt that any real opera lover can pick just one. It drives me nuts when a member starts a poll, provides a list of masterpieces and then asks us to pick one, two or three.


----------



## Dim7

My introduction to my own posts


----------



## Dim7

Threads that aren't threads


----------



## Dim7

Will Everything Happen in Here Today?


----------



## Wandering

For Community Forum

Top ten women you'd knock on the head and drag back to your cave. 

Good idea? The more I think about it seems a little sexist and could be too painful, revealing of my inner man-whoreness.


----------



## arpeggio

If I can air conduct _The Rite of Spring_ does that mean I can conduct it for memory with a live symphony orchestra?


----------



## Dim7

Can A White Boy Sing BLACK METAL?


----------



## SimonNZ

Would a four hands arrangement of Ravel's Piano Concerto "For the left hand" be in bad taste?


----------



## Dim7

Famous people who were babies once


----------



## Guest

Can a ginge sing bluegrass?


----------



## Guest

What's your breathing process?


----------



## Dim7

Famous musicians who were people


----------



## arpeggio

Famous people who hated _433_.






So much for the Germans not have a sense of humor.


----------



## Dim7

Obscure people who couldn't play any instruments or at least not very well


----------



## kartikeys

If Beethoven were your neighbour, would you marry your ear-doctor?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Would've Beethoven written decent music had he had modern psychiatric medication or was he ****** up a priori?


----------



## Dim7

Suggestive Input


----------



## Dim7

People *WHO* were musicians


----------



## mstar

Dim7 said:


> People *WHO* were musicians


Whoops - I'm gonna have trouble with that one.

just kidding


----------



## mstar

Suggest me denominations!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Suggest me Beethovens!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Expressions that you ate.


----------



## Dim7

Please suggest a 2-3 millennium listening program for my backpacking trip


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> Please suggest a 2-3 millennium listening program for my backpacking trip


The complete works of Morton Feldman ought to do the trick...


----------



## kartikeys

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Would've Beethoven written decent music had he had modern psychiatric medication or was he ****** up a priori?


I don't think he would have with modern medicine. Interesting.


----------



## Pugg

If you could go to a furry convention would you? ?????


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

If you could go to a fairy convention would you?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

If you could ferry a fiery furry to a fairy fury conversation communication convention, would you?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are you a ship? Can I board you?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Pugg said:


> If you could go to a furry convention would you? ?????


Hmmm. It might get a bit warm in there...


----------



## Dr Johnson

I'd prefer a curry convention.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

...or a Currie convention


----------



## Dr Johnson

TurnaboutVox said:


> ...or a Currie convention


Some of his instruments look suitable for serving curry in, thus making a possible a Currie curry convention....

I'll get my coat.


----------



## Mahlerian

Dr Johnson said:


> Some of his instruments look suitable for serving curry in, thus making a possible a Currie curry convention....
> 
> I'll get my coat.


In a hurry?

This is filler text. Why did you bother to read it?


----------



## Dim7

Mahlerian said:


> This is filler text. Why did you bother to read it?


What a loaded question. I didn't read it.

If you want to be part of the cool people btw, use the table method. Like 
[ table ]blahblahblahblah[ /table ] without the spaces.



yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> What a loaded question. I didn't read it.
> 
> If you want to be part of the cool people btw, use the table method. Like
> [ table ]blahblahblahblah[ /table ] without the spaces.
> 
> 
> 
> yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee




blahblahblahblah
Like this?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Or if you want to be part of the even cooler people, use the invisible text method. It's literally in the forum's background color.

Like this, but without spaces: Sample text[/COLOR ]

test kfowsmsmajaj


----------



## TresPicos

*Intimidated by moderators?*

Are you also intimidated by the moderators?

I'm sure you recognize this situation: _You are reading a regular TC thread or posting in it, and suddenly a moderator posts something in that same thread. And you immediately flee to another thread, just in case. _

It's silly behavior, I know, but for some reason we still do it. It's almost like when you see a police car on the street, and even though you haven't done anything, you still turn away or hide behind a parked car or just run as fast as you can.

Please share your stories and thoughts on why so many of us act like this.

Also, do you feel even more intimidated when Sr Moderators or Administrators are posting? I sure do.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TresPicos said:


> Are you also intimidated by the moderators?
> 
> I'm sure you recognize this situation: _You are reading a regular TC thread or posting in it, and suddenly a moderator posts something in that same thread. And you immediately flee to another thread, just in case. _


Yes, I for one get this all the ti


----------



## TresPicos

Ooh, time to go.


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> Are you also intimidated by the moderators?
> 
> I'm sure you recognize this situation: _You are reading a regular TC thread or posting in it, and suddenly a moderator posts something in that same thread. And you immediately flee to another thread, just in case. _
> 
> It's silly behavior, I know, but for some reason we still do it. It's almost like when you see a police car on the street, and even though you haven't done anything, you still turn away or hide behind a parked car or just run as fast as you can.
> 
> Please share your stories and thoughts on why so many of us act like this.
> 
> Also, do you feel even more intimidated when Sr Moderators or Administrators are posting? I sure do.


God yeah, especially the new ones cos they wanna make an impression. I, er, oh, just remembered I left the oven on....


----------



## Guest

The Strange Magic of Jedward.


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> The Strange Magic of Jedward.


As what? An emetic?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Help me identify this piece

It goes something like this: 

'Happy birthday to you...'


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Help me identify this piece
> 
> It goes something like this:
> 
> 'Happy birthday to you...'


Sorry, I don't recognise it. I think it's maybe some generic music just written for that kids' party, but it's not Classical.


----------



## TresPicos

TurnaboutVox said:


> Sorry, I don't recognise it. I think it's maybe some generic music just written for that kids' party, but it's not Classical.


Actually, it _is_ Classical!

It's from Busoni's piano concerto.

Original text in German:

_Herzen erglüheten, Herzen erkalteten,
Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag!
Aber in ruhigen Harren sie dehnten sich
Herrlich, kräftiglich, früh so wie spät.
_
English translation:

_Hearts glowed, hearts became colder.
Happy birthday to you!
But in a peaceful awaiting they stretch out,
Gorgeous, powerfully, early and late._


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Do you want to restart your computer now or later?

*Restart now
*Restart later


----------



## Dim7

Embarrass or disturb a fellow TalkClassical member thread


----------



## Guest

Poll in honour of the new mod:

Fermented grapefruit essence

vs

Brown water that tastes of twigs


----------



## arpeggio

If you are made a moderator would you take revenge of all of the Philistines that pissed you off?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

arpeggio said:


> If you are made a moderator would you take revenge of all of the Philistines that pissed you off?


No. I'd pass on that. Phil and all the Istines are family friends, it would be very awkward.


----------



## Wandering

Does anyone else here sometimes have an _all fresh is grass _attitude?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Bggyiyuci vhfsryaeawaq5g kpjoh6d5ds77s4


----------



## arpeggio

Let us have another thread on who composed the greatest symphony, one more time.


----------



## arpeggio

If Beethoven lived to be a hundred, what would his twentieth symphony sound like?


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> Let us have another thread on who composed the greatest symphony, one more time.


History has ended so speak only of the past.


----------



## Dim7

98,4 quadrillion aspects about Bruckner's music


----------



## mstar

Wandering said:


> Does anyone else here sometimes have an _all fresh is grass _attitude?


No, but I occasionally find myself experiencing an "all grass is fresh" disposition.


----------



## mstar

Poll: Do you want to restart your computer now or later?

*Restart now
*Restart later
*Yes


----------



## Dim7

Which of the hypothetical Mahler symphonies would have been the most influental?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Mahler still alive and on this forum as the mod Mahlerian?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is Mahler still alive and on this forum as the mod Mahlerian?


If so, he's had 105 years to finish that 10th symphony, Abe. Wonder what he made of Deryck Cooke?


----------



## Blancrocher

*In Which I Resolve the "Toenail Debate"*

My own opinion is that, so long as you don't mind wearing through socks rather quickly, it doesn't really matter whether you cut your toenails all that frequently. Even at a beach nobody pays that much attention to your toenails--let's just stop talking about this already, for ********.


----------



## Chronochromie

TurnaboutVox said:


> If so, he's had 105 years to finish that 10th symphony, Abe. Wonder what he made of Deryck Cooke?


It seems Bernstein was right after all!


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Genius dogen or genius Dim7?


----------



## arpeggio

I just joined this forum a month ago and I know more about classical music than anybody here.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Recommend me pieces I won't like so I can shame you on your poor taste.


----------



## Dim7

Your Musical Journey and Panpsychism


----------



## Dr Johnson

The Greatest Tympanists.


----------



## Dim7

Who are the great what-the-f***s?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Great composers born on February 29th


----------



## Dim7

*Poll: The Harmonic Series (please read the voting instructions)*

This poll shall be a representation of the harmonic series starting from C. The starting C will be represented by 0. Other notes will be represented by the number of semitones their equivalent in the same octave as the starting C is from the starting C. So the first 15 notes of the harmonic series represented numerically will be 0, 0, 7, 0, 4, 7, 10, 0, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 10, 11. Accordingly 0 people should vote for the first two poll options, 7 people for the third option, 0 people for the fourth, 4 people for the fifth etc. Please don't ruin this by voting for an option that already has enough votes. Many thanks.


----------



## Balthazar

*Opera's gender identity problem?*


----------



## Mahlerian

Balthazar said:


> *Opera's gender identity problem?*


You know, I was reading about this guy, Idamente, in the libretto, and then I see him and he looks and sounds like a woman! Further confusing matters, I find out that that supposed woman was actually a man a few centuries ago, just a man who was not allowed to go through puberty. But why does he look like a woman now? Is that something that happens to castrato roles, that they just end up looking like women over time? Now I'm really confused.


----------



## hpowders

TC Poster's Gender Problem

Post No. 1: How can I tell whether a poster is male or female? I seriously hate classical music, but I'm a male looking for an educated woman. PM me please.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> TC Poster's Gender Problem
> 
> Post No. 1: How can I tell whether a poster is male or female? I seriously hate classical music, but I'm a male looking for an educated woman. PM me please.


This is an educated woman.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Before the nose job


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> The Greatest Tympanists.


You never miss a beat!


----------



## Dr Johnson

Boom boom!

:tiphat:


----------



## TresPicos

*The Morse Code Thread*

Welcome to the thread where we write our posts in Morse code!

MP3 attachments with Morse code signals are also allowed.

.. - / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -... . / ..-. ..- -.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Welcome to the thread where we write our posts in Morse code!
> 
> MP3 attachments with Morse code signals are also allowed.
> 
> .. - / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -... . / ..-. ..- -.


TrePicos, you always seem to logically connect the dots when you post. Pardon me while I place a dash of pepper in my wake-up Bloody Mary.


----------



## Pugg

TresPicos said:


> Welcome to the thread where we write our posts in Morse code!
> 
> MP3 attachments with Morse code signals are also allowed.
> 
> .. - / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -... . / ..-. ..- -.


Does Braille also count?


----------



## TresPicos

Pugg said:


> Does Braille also count?


I think we should use the Braille Thread for that.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> Are you also intimidated by the moderators?
> 
> I'm sure you recognize this situation: _You are reading a regular TC thread or posting in it, and suddenly a moderator posts something in that same thread. And you immediately flee to another thread, just in case. _
> 
> It's silly behavior, I know, but for some reason we still do it. It's almost like when you see a police car on the street, and even though you haven't done anything, you still turn away or hide behind a parked car or just run as fast as you can.
> 
> Please share your stories and thoughts on why so many of us act like this.
> 
> Also, do you feel even more intimidated when Sr Moderators or Administrators are posting? I sure do.


There are so many changes, I can hardly keep up. I may have to hire an accountant!


----------



## Dedalus

In which you can enter your first complete translation of the threads message from Google, then, at least five language translation (your choice) per copy, paste the result in the input field, select the second language, third, etc. Wait. Finally, translated into English, so try to sound like a robot to communicate.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers that would make a great replacement for Bach.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers that are Bach.


----------



## arpeggio

I'll be Bach


----------



## Dim7

I Have Nothing to Say About Haydn


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

I Am Haydn, That is Something to Say


----------



## arpeggio

Even though it is one of my favorite works, I have never heard _433_.


----------



## arpeggio

What makes you smarter. Listening to classical music or eating anchovy doughnuts.


----------



## Pugg

arpeggio said:


> What makes you smarter. Listening to classical music or eating anchovy doughnuts.


By some people the latter


----------



## Dim7

Dedalus said:


> In which you can enter your first complete translation of the threads message from Google, then, at least five language translation (your choice) per copy, paste the result in the input field, select the second language, third, etc. Wait. Finally, translated into English, so try to sound like a robot to communicate.


http://www.talkclassical.com/groups/talk-nonsense-d733-its-fun-with-google.html


----------



## Guest

Poll.

When is your bin day?


----------



## Guest

Poll.

Do you like toast?


----------



## Sloe

dogen said:


> Poll.
> 
> Do you like toast?


Not really and I don´t have a toaster.


----------



## joen_cph

dogen said:


> Poll.
> 
> Do you like toast?


The question is far too generalized, and thus it´s not really possible to answer it.


----------



## Dim7

Random threads that don't deserve thoughts or discoveries to themselves


----------



## Guest

joen_cph said:


> The question is far too generalized, and thus it´s not really possible to answer it.


Wait, you're all answering before I've set the poll up! It's more complicated than I could ever have imagined; for instance - should I include French Toast? Is it even toast? Should I omit anything, simply because it's French, or French sounding? And don't even get me started on Dutch crispbakes.


----------



## joen_cph

dogen said:


> Wait, you're all answering before I've set the poll up! It's more complicated than I could ever have imagined; for instance - should I include French Toast? Is it even toast? Should I omit anything, simply because it's French, or French sounding? And don't even get me started on Dutch crispbakes.


Now you are talking sense, and a bit on the right track. Still, a long way to go ...


----------



## Badinerie

Tosca....Would she bounce or splatter?


----------



## Balthazar

*Poll: How Highly Do You Rate Polls?*

A. Wait... What?

B. Undecided

C. Who Cares?


----------



## hpowders

*Friends List Organizer!!*

Just developed by renowned software engineer:

Organizes your friends list effortlessly into the internationally recognized three categories:
1. Good 2. Fair Weather and 3. Treacherous. $39.95 per year/standard edition.

The deluxe edition improves on the standard edition by continuously working to keep your good friends on the list and eliminating all the rest. $76.99 per 3 months, automatic credit card renewal.

Special free trial for those who have no friends.


----------



## hpowders

Members Only Section:

*Postal Repairs.*

Hello Posters.

Check here to find out when your posts sent out for repair are ready to be re-posted.

Closed on Sundays.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

hpowders said:


> *Friends List Organizer!!*
> 
> Just developed by renowned software engineer:
> 
> Organizes your friends list effortlessly into the internationally recognized three categories:
> 1. Good 2. Fair Weather and 3. Treacherous. $39.95 per year/standard edition.
> 
> The deluxe edition improves on the standard edition by continuously working to keep your good friends on the list and eliminating all the rest. $76.99 per 3 months, automatic credit card renewal.
> 
> Special free trial for those who have no friends.


Sorry to contradict you, hp, but over the last week I've discovered that there are in fact four categories of friend, viz:

1. Good 2. Fair Weather 3. Treacherous 4. Moderator


----------



## Dim7

Do you have traits?


----------



## Balthazar

*What is the mental age of the poster above you?*


----------



## Guest

I'd guess four, tops.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Sorry to contradict you, hp, but over the last week I've discovered that there are in fact four categories of friend, viz:
> 
> 1. Good 2. Fair Weather 3. Treacherous 4. Moderator


Could be worse, you could have Ebola.

Actually, then you'd get sympathy....


----------



## Guest

A suggestion for a sticky in the Announcements sub-forum:
A thread where a mod can alert people that a thread is kicking off. This would ensure no-one need miss out on the action as it happens.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> A suggestion for a sticky in the Announcements sub-forum:
> A thread where a mod can alert people that a thread is kicking off. This would ensure no-one need miss out on the action as it happens.


Such a thread exists, but only for the enjoyment of certain lucky, popular people, dogen...


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Such a thread exists, but only for the enjoyment of certain lucky, popular people, dogen...


Damn, no wonder I miss all the fun.


----------



## Pugg

Balthazar said:


> *What is the mental age of the poster above you?*


Now that would be fun.


----------



## arpeggio

Definitive Recordings.

A very popular thread is one requesting a "definitive" recording of whatever.

When I was younger I used to seek out "definitive" recordings.

As I have gotten older it appears to me there is no such thing.

It seems to me that the concept of "definitive" recording is a marketing ploy of the classical music industry. For example, Acme records has just released the umpteenth recording of the Bach _Goldberg Variations_. The company has to come up with some sort of con to convince a person who already owns fifty recordings of it to buy one more.


----------



## Dim7

For Those Who Like Climactic Organ Solos


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> I think we should use the Braille Thread for that.


A most touching post!


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> Sorry to contradict you, hp, but over the last week I've discovered that there are in fact four categories of friend, viz:
> 
> 1. Good 2. Fair Weather 3. Treacherous 4. Moderator


Moderator/poster is actually a conflict of interest, but I will pretend not to notice!


----------



## hpowders

Are you a melancholic alcoholic?


----------



## Dim7

Old Non-Moderator


----------



## Blancrocher

*SAYITINFIFTEEN!*

15chars-MAX-go!


----------



## hpowders

Guess the moderator from his/her posts.

Post No. 1: New quiz game. Quote anonomous moderator posts and guess who wrote it.

I will start: "Schoenberg and Mahler are the only two composers any music listener would ever need."*



*Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.


----------



## hpowders

Memorable embouchures:

Post No. 1: List your favorite oboe and clarinet players with in-action photos.


----------



## Dim7

Unpleasant, but necessary thread ideas


----------



## taktojawojtek

SimonNZ said:


> "Which album of Sousa marches sets the best mood for love-making?"


lol that's funny! :-D


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Straight composers whom you wish were gay


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are you mendelssohnic?


----------



## hpowders

The best way to introduce Wagner on a singles date to a woman who says she hates classical music.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Female composers vs female versions of male composers


----------



## Dim7

Correctly heard lyrics


----------



## mstar

Bach brought me here.
(Which composer created _you_?)


----------



## arpeggio

Is the 1913 thru 1952 the pseudo intellectual era? Like do re me fa pseu do?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Correctly heard lyrics


GOPHER TUNA 

RachmaninovSibeliusAlbinoniRandomcomposernamestotakeupspace


----------



## Dim7

Ramblin' On Your Body


----------



## Dr Johnson

Frank Sinatra in A minor.


----------



## Dim7

What band/artists there are you like but would be embarrassed if people at here TC found out?


----------



## Dim7

Anti-nonmodernist/Non-antimodernist nonproblem


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stupidest thread ideas (must be short and seemly)


----------



## TurnaboutVox

People who don't mind a bit of Delius on the stereo / People who are mildly indifferent to Delius but wouldn't turn it off necessarily problem.


----------



## mstar

Programmatic works and their grammar

What in particular makes a work programmatical? How can we improve antigrammatic works to fit the standards of college-level English teachers today?


----------



## TresPicos

*Piano keys?*

Okay, I'm a bit confused about piano keys. I understand that the white keys on a piano are bigger (major) and the black ones in between are smaller (minor), but there are like hundreds of keys on a piano and only 14 of them have names (A minor/major through G minor/major)? Which 14? There are no markings on any of the keys.

Also, there are supposed to be flat and sharp keys. Again, the white keys form kind of a flat surface, so those are clearly the flat ones. And the black keys are protruding from that surface, so I guess they are called sharp in some kind of philosophical sense. Because they feel quite smooth on the touch. At least on the pianos I've seen. But how can there, then, be a G sharp (black) major (white) key? It doesn't make sense.

I feel really stumped. I don't dare ask my professor or the other students, since I'm in the third year of my music studies, and I think they covered this subject already in the beginning of the first year, when I was sick for a week. Can someone here please sort this out for me?


----------



## Dim7

Since there was no Cynical Realist Era shouldn't the Romantic Era be nonexistent as well?


----------



## Dr Johnson

The Aromatic Era in music.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*The Great Compounds*

Mendelssohn dichromate
Wagner sulfate
Chopin chloride
Liszt carbonate
Schubert bicarbonate
Strauss (II) nitrate


----------



## Dim7

Examples of "non-classical" composers not stealing from each other


----------



## Sloe

TresPicos said:


> Okay, I'm a bit confused about piano keys.


Why can´t the English word for the buttons on a piano or a computer be tangents?
Life would be somewhat easier then.


----------



## arpeggio

Beethoven vs. Rocky


----------



## kartikeys

arpeggio said:


> Beethoven vs. Rocky


[wide smile]
Your preferred ear for classical music.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TresPicos said:


> Okay, I'm a bit confused about piano keys.
> 
> I feel really stumped. I don't dare ask my professor or the other students, since I'm in the third year of my music studies, and I think they covered this subject already in the beginning of the first year, when I was sick for a week. Can someone here please sort this out for me?


Shoot, I only just worked out which of my pipe organ's keyboards was the 'Dominant', which the 'Tonic' and which the 'Subdominant', and now you come along to complicate things even further. Don't even get me started on the pedalboard!


----------



## Dim7

If You Were Going to Dye Your Hair Tomorrow What Music Would You Listen to Today?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> If You Were Going to Dye Your Hair Tomorrow What Music Would You Listen to Today?


----------



## SimonNZ

Why wont Steinway build me a concert grand shaped and sounding like Thomas the Tank Engine to give to my 4 year old son, if I'm willing to pay? Don't they want my business? Isn't the customer always right? Are they communists?


----------



## Blancrocher

*"I couldn't care less" vs "I could care less"*

A. I couldn't care less
B. I could care less
C. I couldn't care less (about this poll)
D. I could care less (about this poll)

Which do you prefer to say: "I could care less," or "I couldn't care less"? Do you type the expression the same way you say it? Please vote in the poll. Feel free to share your reasons for your preference as well.


----------



## mstar

Poll: How well do you know 4'33"?
A. Never heard it.. 
B. A was the only option. 

ALTERNATIVE CHOICES:

A. Never heard of it. 
B. Listened to it once.
C. I could air-conduct it.
D. I could air-conduct it while driving.
E. I could hum the whole thing through. (a.k.a. I am epic.)


----------



## SimonNZ

What do the letters A, B, C, D, E, F and G stand for?


----------



## ArtMusic

Does Kylo Ren listen to Mozart?


----------



## arpeggio

Poll: Do you care about people who hate Cage:

◙ Yes
◙ No


----------



## TresPicos

arpeggio said:


> Poll: Do you care about people who hate Cage:
> 
> ◙ Yes
> ◙ No


There should be a third option:

◙


----------



## Guest

What matters the most is money.

Agree.


----------



## arpeggio

TresPicos said:


> There should be a third option:
> 
> ◙


Tell me what additional options might work and I can start real poll.


----------



## TresPicos

arpeggio said:


> Tell me what additional options might work and I can start real poll.


Perhaps also:

◙ 1
◙ ................................!.................
◙ 
◙ winter's chilling winds / do you care about john cage / emptiness at rest


----------



## Guest

The Terrible Revenge of Phal.


----------



## Balthazar

Also:

◙ The answer is aleatory -- let me consult the _I Ching_.
◙ Only on Thursdays between 2:30 and 2:45 p.m.
◙ Could you repeat the question?
◙ Who?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Thread for the explicit discrimination of speakers of dead languages.


----------



## hpowders

Love classical music? Classical radio for sale! 1933 vintage.


----------



## Dim7

SS 12.03.16 - Tchaikovsky #3 "Nail Polish"


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Mendelssohn gay?


----------



## Dim7

*Why is modern mathematics so bad?*

By modern mathematics I mean mathematics that accepts nonsensical modern concepts like negative and imaginary numbers and other anumerical rubbish. If you have four apples, I can't take five apples from you! That doesn't make any sense! Can you show me a negative apple?! No you can't! Because negative numbers are a load of **** that degenerate mathematicians have invented just to troll and confuse us.

Now I'm a tolerant fellow and not some Nazi who would ban degenerate mathematics outright. You can have your anumerical math groups and festivals where you can fantasize about nonexistent numbers with your fellow deviants. You can even publish your nonsense math books, just as long as there's a "Modernist pseudomath" warning written with a big text. Just stop forcing modern mathematics on sane people. Don't just casually mention negative and imaginary numbers in normal conversations. Don't teach degenerate mathematics at school, especially for children.


----------



## arpeggio

How to get on my ignore list.


----------



## hpowders

If you were newly dead and you just arrived in heaven and all the CDs they had were music by Cerrone, Partch, Conte, Lieuwen and Scelsi, would you be listening or just stand there for all eternity?


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> If you were newly dead and you just arrived in heaven and all the CDs they had were music by Cerrone, Partch, Conte, Lieuwen and Scelsi, would you be listening or just stand there for all eternity?


Wait! What's the connection with these dudes???


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> Wait! What's the connection with these dudes???


All very modern doods. I would write more, but I am currently Partched and must depart in Lieuwen of posting more information.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> All very modern doods. I would write more, but I am currently Partched and must depart in Lieuwen of posting more information.


Yo teasin this Scelsiboy. I need facts!


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> Yo teasin this Scelsiboy. I need facts!


I put those names out on the forum, there will be 101 posters swearing these are the greatest composers who ever lived.


----------



## hpowders

Administrative help needed!

I noticed a 3 second wait is being enforced between "likes". Can I get a waiver since I suffer from acute hyperactivity?


----------



## TresPicos

hpowders said:


> Administrative help needed!
> 
> I noticed a 3 second wait is being enforced between "likes". Can I get a waiver since I suffer from acute hyperactivity?


I could also use some help.

I noticed a 2 day wait between the last two likes I received. That just seems wrong.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> I could also use some help.
> 
> I noticed a 2 day wait between the last two likes I received. That just seems wrong.


AWWW!!! I just gave you a mercy "like". Who says "hpowders" is cold, self-centered and has no heart?

Yes! Yes! I know!! BESIDES my parents!!!


----------



## omega

Tuberculosis and Classical Music: how can we explain that so many people feel the urge to cough while attending a classical concert?


----------



## Guest

TresPicos said:


> I could also use some help.
> 
> I noticed a 2 day wait between the last two likes I received. That just seems wrong.


Post a daily Current Listening citing Mozart; that'll keep the meter ticking over.


----------



## Guest

The repository of deleted posts: finding your way around the Dark Web.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Live dangerously, break the rules. Make sure your next Current Listening post contains 1/3 Mozart, 1/3 Bartok and 1/3 Xenakis!


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

If You Were Going to Birth Tomorrow What Music Would You Listen to Prenataly?


----------



## Balthazar

*Changes to Current Listening*

Effective immediately, Current Listening will be divided into two separate threads: (i) Current 'Serious' Listening and (ii) Current Cacophony.

Please post in the appropriate thread only.

We hope that this change will prevent potential litigation from members who, expecting to enjoy cover art of Beethoven symphonies, find themselves instead ambushed by Dutilleux.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*We were part of a secret society that discovered the properties of writing in scarlet way before communists made it uncool.

Members are reminded that any message not written in big red letters is subject to suspicion
*


----------



## Guest

Pieces that have exacerbated your PTSD recently?


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Composers Who Whelm You*
> Everyone knows that lots of composers can be overwhelming or underwhelming, but what about the ones that just whelm you?


Overwhelming thread ideas


----------



## TresPicos

dogen said:


> Post a daily Current Listening citing Mozart; that'll keep the meter ticking over.


Thanks! Now it works again!
:tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Stupid Thread Ideas.


----------



## Guest

Stupid Thread Ideals.


----------



## mstar

dogen said:


> Pieces that have exacerbated your PTSD recently?


That happens to some people. I agree, though - it _would_ be a stupid thing to post about. For serious reasons.


----------



## Dim7

Expressions you don't know the meaning of but use anyway


----------



## Dim7

Sport the Beard (Serious Business)


----------



## Dim7

Zero aspects about Cage's music


----------



## hpowders

So, which is your favorite tone poem of these two:

1. ****** **** *******

2. *** ******** ****

Please, in defending your position, no ****** comments!!


----------



## hpowders

Name change department:

Please change my tag name to either ****** ** or *** ** * *****.

Either one is fine with me!

Thanks!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

hpowders said:


> Name change department:
> 
> Please change my tag name to either ****** ** or *** ** * *****.
> 
> Either one is fine with me!
> 
> Thanks!


Dear hpowders,

We are concerned that ****** ** may be obscene or otherwise offensive. Remember that this is a family friendly site. 
We have no objection to *** ** * *****.

Yours

Great Auntie V
Moderator


----------



## Dim7

Eventually all STIs will be like this


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Dear hpowders,
> 
> We are concerned that ****** ** may be obscene or otherwise offensive. Remember that this is a family friendly site.
> We have no objection to *** ** * *****.
> 
> Yours
> 
> Great Auntie V
> Moderator


Maybe you don't, but I certainly ******* do.


----------



## hpowders

What makes a piece of classical music very, very good instead of great?

Post No. 1: Due to all the rancor/rancour lately, I feel I must insist that if you post on this thread, please try and avoid words like ****, ****, ****, ***** and *******.

Thank you!


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> Dear hpowders,
> 
> We are concerned that ****** ** may be obscene or otherwise offensive. Remember that this is a family friendly site.
> We have no objection to *** ** * *****.
> 
> Yours
> 
> Great Auntie V
> Moderator


Hello Auntie. You were terrific in Peter Grimes, by the way,

One more thing: when I need your help, Auntie, I will surely ******* ask for it!!!


----------



## hpowders

dogen said:


> Maybe you don't, but I certainly ******* do.


Thanks for sticking up for me, but next time please ******* ask me first!!!


----------



## hpowders

Club Studio 54: Members Only!! Strictly enforced!

Notice: Please consider new members attempting to try out TC to see if it's a fine fit.

If they continue to see so many posts with ***, **** *****, ******, ******* and ******** in them, they may mistakenly think Talk Classical is an astronomy forum!!!


----------



## Dr Johnson

The Four Tautologies: A Ballet (including the celebrated Dance Around The Hat).


----------



## TresPicos

******** *****! His symphonies are just plain *******.

*Edit (Mod.): No, his symphonies are perfectly fine!*


----------



## Dim7

Evil Thread Ideas


----------



## Guest

Poll.

Frank Sinatra vs Franck Sonata.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I choose ze Franck Sonata, because 'e deed eet 'eez way


----------



## Dr Johnson

^^

Now get your coat!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite closed threads.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> ******** *****! His symphonies are just plain *******.
> 
> *Edit (Mod.): No, his symphonies are perfectly fine!*


Please restrict your comments to the music, not the *******' ***-*****.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite banning notices from the last 5 years.

Post No. 1: List yours. Do/didyou prefer pithy or verbose notifications?


----------



## hpowders

True Confessions Thread:

Post No. 1867: I'm so damn lonely! Why can't I self-like my posts to help stave off the misery?


----------



## hpowders

The top 117 classical composers of all time.

Post No. 1: Here is your chance to be specific. No repeats please!


----------



## hpowders

How come I go to Kentucky Fried Chicken, they never play anything classical?


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> What makes a piece of classical music very, very good instead of great?
> 
> Post No. 1: Due to all the rancor/rancour lately, I feel I must insist that if you post on this thread, please try and avoid words like ****, ****, ****, ***** and *******.
> 
> Thank you!




I try to comply yes please


----------



## Dim7

A la carte poll: Which of these orcs do you like?

*Uruk-hai in general
*That orc in Skyrm who's looking for a "good death"
*Grishnákh
*Azog
*Something from Warhammer
*Other
*Who cares just kill them all


----------



## Dim7

What was the last watch you filmed?


----------



## Dim7

Entartete Faden Ideen


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stupid Threat Ideas


----------



## Badinerie

Poll.

Cookie Bear or Cook He Bare!


----------



## Dim7

Trolling with deals


----------



## hpowders

Poll: How well do you know Beethoven's music? Choose one:

1. Very well

2. Extremely well

3. Cracker jack well

4. As well as Karajan

5. As well as Wand

6. As well as Beethoven himself

Feel free to give You Tube examples to support your choice.


----------



## hpowders

Music that makes you want to Shout.... whooo! Shout... yeah!


----------



## Dim7

Random questions that don't deserve answers


----------



## hpowders

Bach brought me here and Mendelssohn will take me away.

Post No. 1: Post similar beginning and end of life examples.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: When you get to heaven which would you listen to more: Cd's or DVD's.

Post No. 1: Thanks for the help. I am in the doctoral program of metaphysical musical studies at Julliard and the data will be most useful.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Trousers that Hold Up After Much Fastening.


----------



## Dim7

Food that Holds Up After Munch Eating?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which is your favorite?

1. Music that holds up.

2. Music that's uplifting

3. Music that's down-loaded

4. Music that gets you down.


----------



## TresPicos

A question for double bass players: I understand that you must have some way to fold your instrument in order to be able to transport it, but then you must also have some way to keep it unfolded while you're playing. How is that done? And has your instrument ever folded by mistake during a concert?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TresPicos said:


> A question for double bass players: I understand that you must have some way to fold your instrument in order to be able to transport it, but then you must also have some way to keep it unfolded while you're playing. How is that done? And has your instrument ever folded by mistake during a concert?


Ditto for Pipe Organ players. How do you guys actually get those things _home_, even folded up?


----------



## SimonNZ

TresPicos said:


> A question for double bass players: I understand that you must have some way to fold your instrument in order to be able to transport it, but then you must also have some way to keep it unfolded while you're playing. How is that done? And has your instrument ever folded by mistake during a concert?


I'm currently designing an inflatable violin-double bass instrument that will solve all these problems. The string instrument you wish can be chosen by the level of inflating of the patented air-tight but elastic material. The strings are also elastic, and are guaranteed to be in tune once you reach the precise size of violin, viola, cello or double bass. Order now and get a free set of Ginsu bows.


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> A question for double bass players: I understand that you must have some way to fold your instrument in order to be able to transport it, but then you must also have some way to keep it unfolded while you're playing. How is that done? And has your instrument ever folded by mistake during a concert?


Anyone taking up the double bass has to be absolutely desperate to get an orchestra job some day.

Do you know of anyone who can tutor me?


----------



## hpowders

Lurker here: So what makes a poster great instead of mediocre?


----------



## hpowders

Posters that have held up well over the years.


----------



## Badinerie

Building a Mini Home out of your instrument help for itinerant Double Bass Players.
Turning your liability into an asset.


----------



## hpowders

Music you will play today if you are going to the apothecary for some laudanum tomorrow.


----------



## hpowders

Do you love any classical music so deeply you would marry it?

Post No. 1: Support with examples. Serious thread. No rancor/rancour.


----------



## Balthazar

*Music that Erodes After Much Rainfall?*


----------



## TresPicos

A question for violin players: How do you keep track of the four strings on your violin? At least from a distance, they all look the same. Do you remember them by their relative position? Sometimes, you don't even seem to look at the strings. Have you got them that well memorized, or have you just given up so you don't care anymore which strings you are playing on?


----------



## SimonNZ

^ We violinists make all the notes on just one string - the other three are "sympathetic" strings, enriching the tone of the main string with their resonating.


----------



## TresPicos

SimonNZ said:


> ^ We violinists make all the notes on just one string - the other three are "sympathetic" strings, enriching the tone of the main string with their resonating.


Wow, I really learn something new every day here at TC!


----------



## Balthazar

^ There was a Harvard Business School case study on this. Apparently, if the number of violin strings were reduced from four to one, the savings across the classical music industry would lead to a reduction in global ticket prices of 0.003% (or about $273 annually, worldwide).

Given that audiences will be none the wiser, it's a no-brainer.


----------



## Dim7

Eventually all threads will be stupid


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> A question for violin players: How do you keep track of the four strings on your violin? At least from a distance, they all look the same. Do you remember them by their relative position? Sometimes, you don't even seem to look at the strings. Have you got them that well memorized, or have you just given up so you don't care anymore which strings you are playing on?


G- whiz!


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Trousers that Hold Up After Much Fastening.


Ahhh...Dr. Johnson! Always one leg up on the competition!


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Eventually all threads will be stupid


Eventually?all threads will be stupid


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Eventually?all threads will be stupid


Well I assume that all the threads in the hidden moderator subforum must be smart. Also our threads in our Atonalist Cabal are very smart and cunning, albeit in an evil way.


----------



## hpowders

Music for your funeral and you are sealed in the casket and you wake up still alive but nobody can hear you and you are slowly dying of suffocation (You Tube examples, please).


----------



## mstar

What makes a piece of music good as opposed to Medicare?


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> Ditto for Pipe Organ players. How do you guys actually get those things _home_, even folded up?


Some organs are easier to fold than others.


----------



## TresPicos

A question for viola players: I assume you play viola so you can sit right in the middle of the orchestra. But why do you want to sit there? Are you shy, so you don't want the audience to see you? Or do you want to be in the center of things, with stuff happening all around you? Or does it make you feel safe when you're surrounded by other musicians so that any monsters will get to you last?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Food that Holds Up After Munch Eating?


You keep this up, I may have to Kleiber you!!


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> You keep this up, I may have to Kleiber you!!


Went over my head. Dim down please!


----------



## Balthazar

*Please explain to me why I don't like KE$HA*


----------



## hpowders

What is profound promiscuity?

Post No. 1: You Tube examples please.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Which composer would you spend unhealthy amounts of time fantasizing about?


----------



## Dim7

The Thread of Law Derailment


----------



## TresPicos

A question for contrabassoon players: I read somewhere that low-frequency sounds can be used as a weapon, to induce stress or disorientation in the enemy. Are you and the rest of the orchestra affected in the same way when you play? Are there notes so low that you are not allowed to play them at a concert unless the orchestra is under attack?


----------



## arpeggio

Actually since I took up the contrabassoon I have been able to give up sex. I just play low Bb for five minutes.


----------



## arpeggio

Did you hear about the contrabassoonist who was so badly out tune he noticed it?


----------



## Lucashio

"Who let the mountain king out? voff voff voff voffvoff!"


----------



## Dim7

Do you realize how much is 1+1?


----------



## arpeggio

What type of classical music should you play when eating a pizza with anchovies in a restaurant?


----------



## kartikeys

Classical music to sign divorce papers to.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is everybody Mendelssohn?


----------



## Dim7

Openly gay people who were secretly composers


----------



## hpowders

The TC Top 100+ Recommended Pre-2100 Works List.


----------



## hpowders

Composers Who Were Gay, Happy and Jolly.


----------



## hpowders

Books You Say You Have Recently Read, but Actually Did the Classics Comics Version Instead.


----------



## Dim7

Secretly gay composers: Composers who pretended to be all angsty and emo to fit the stereotype of a Romantic artist but were actually quite happy inside


----------



## mstar

Dim7 said:


> Secretly gay composers: Composers who pretended to be all angsty and emo to fit the stereotype of a Romantic artist but were actually quite happy inside


Why do I feel like this is easier for the vast majority of today's teens to get into than classical music itself?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Scriabin for President 2016


----------



## Donata

If Mozart and Beethoven were zombies, would they be composers who are decomposers?


----------



## SimonNZ

Der Ringtones des Nibelungen (formerly: "leitmotif")


----------



## Pugg

My very last post / and still keep coming back)
Check area 51


----------



## Dr Johnson

Music To Listen To When You Are About To Eat A Second Slice Of Coffee And Walnut Cake.


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Scriabin for President 2016


Debate: Trump v. Wagner


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven, Liebermann or Nikolaevsky?


----------



## hpowders

Age discrimination and poster interaction or the lack thereof.

Post No. 1: Are you seriously old and have been put on ignore by some know it all young music students? 
Or perhaps some of the latter have enjoyed your 85 year old companionship.
List examples.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Donata said:


> If Mozart and Beethoven were earthworms, would they be composers who are decomposers?


Fixed that for you! ;P


----------



## hpowders

A classical vocal contest:

Strauss' First Four Songs vs. his Last 4 Songs.

Post No. 1: How the heck did Strauss know his 4 last songs were going to be his last? Did he have a hotline to heaven?


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Music To Listen To When You Are About To Eat A Second Slice Of Coffee And Walnut Cake.


Easy. Bach's Coffee Cantata.


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Expressionists you hate


----------



## mmsbls

Several posts were deleted including a post directed at another member (and responses).


----------



## Sloe

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Scriabin for President 2016


The next presidential election in Russia will be in 2018.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: Always been a radical. How do I tear up a user agreement that I agreed to online?


----------



## SimonNZ

Compliment Or Thank A Fellow TC Thread Nanny


----------



## aleazk

I'm with stupid: Insult a TC member!


----------



## mstar

Best posts ever deleted (links only please).


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

If composers were eggs


----------



## hpowders

Our own reviews of operas we have never seen nor heard. (Pithiness is a virtue).


----------



## hpowders

New Releases Thread.

Post No. 1: I will start.

My Uncle Mario is getting out of Attica next Tuesday.


----------



## arpeggio

In this thread you guys can insult me to your hearts content.

I insist that I have final say before any insult directed at me is deleted.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Do classical music lovers tend to be socialists or anarchists?

(Choose only one).


----------



## Pugg

aleazk said:


> I'm with stupid: Insult a TC member!


That's done daily by some people who think they can get away with murder.
Thanks goodness for good moderation :tiphat:


----------



## mstar

hpowders said:


> Poll: Do classical music lovers tend to be *socialists or anarchists*?
> 
> *(Choose only one)*.


Oh, man! What would the IWW say??


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Poll: Do classical music lovers tend to be socialists or anarchists?
> 
> (Choose only one).


Finally, a sensible forced choice.

I voted arrabiata.


----------



## Pugg

Sloe said:


> The next presidential election in Russia will be in 2018.


Who will be the next president In Russia?


----------



## Gordontrek

Schoenberg wasn't serious about the 12-tone system, he was just trolling to see if people would call it "genius!"


----------



## Guest

Left-handed composers who were theistic Satanists.


----------



## Cosmos

dogen said:


> Left-handed composers who were theistic Satanists.


Trick question: all of them were. Left handedness is a perversion.

P.S. None of my favorite composers were left handed, they were either right handed, or suppressed their evil


----------



## Guest

Cosmos said:


> Trick question: all of them were. Left handedness is a perversion.
> 
> P.S. None of my favorite composers were left handed, they were either right handed, or suppressed their evil


But you have no evidence, facts, or logic to support your claim. Please provide a depressing analogy.


----------



## hpowders

Friends List Turnover

Post No. 1: I've been averaging a 73% turnover of my friends list in a given year. Is this about right? I want to fit in with the rest of you, but I also like to keep things fresh and eliminate the "dead wood".


----------



## mstar

hpowders said:


> Friends List Turnover
> 
> Post No. 1: I've been averaging a 73% turnover of my friends list in a given year. Is this about right? I want to fit in with the rest of you, but I also like to keep things fresh and *eliminate the "dead wood".*


Hah! This reminds me of Mitt Romney's famous "47 percent" comment.
Well, I guess_ I'm _not on your friends list.


----------



## mstar

A serieous discussion on Solage and his ars?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Any form of challenge to a Moderator


----------



## Balthazar

*TC Debate Club -- Season Opener*

Proposition: "Tchaikovsky wasn't gay, but his boyfriends were."

Discuss.


----------



## Pugg

Balthazar said:


> *TC Debate Club -- Season Opener*
> 
> Proposition: "Tchaikovsky wasn't gay, but his boyfriends were."
> 
> Discuss.



]


----------



## Pugg

Guess who's going on a non paid, long trip very soon, for the same reason as always?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Felix Mendelssohn, father of genetics


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> The Thread of Law Derailment


The Bread and Slaw Deployment (in reference to barbeque)


----------



## millionrainbows

Pugg said:


> Guess who's going on a non paid, long trip very soon, for the same reason as always?


That's funny, even though I don't understand it.


----------



## millionrainbows

Contrary to popular belief, Beethoven's "Moonshine" Sonata was actually not about floating down the river on an inner tube at night, soused on tequila...


----------



## millionrainbows

Tchaikovsky wasn't gay, he just knew how to cook, had good taste in art & music, was a fastidious groomer, dressed well, is probably more independent than you, etc.


----------



## millionrainbows

Hey, I Really Like This Music: Now Ridicule Me


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Tchaikovsky wasn't gay, he just knew how to cook, had good taste in art & music, was a fastidious groomer, dressed well, is probably more independent than you, etc.


And kept a writing relationship with Madame von Meck as his perfect cover.
He kept all her letters "in the closet", given conservative Russian society of the time.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Hey, I Really Like This Music: Now Ridicule Me


Of course, the beauty of TC is you never, never have to write "Now ridicule me."


----------



## hpowders

What was Schoenberg's wife's best period?


----------



## millionrainbows

Undiscovered Tchaikovsky:
Four Last Schlongs
G-String Sextet
Romeo and Julius
Symphony No. 69


----------



## hpowders

My wife gets aroused when listening to Coltrane.

Post No. 1: So why wasn't it called a sexaphone instead?


----------



## Bayreuth

Composers that could have made a hell of a bullfighter


----------



## Bayreuth

Had he lived today, would have Palestrina prefered PlayStation 4 or XBOX 360??


----------



## Guest

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Any form of challenge to a Moderator


I Liked this, but now I feel worried.

I may have to Unlike it, so no one gets the wrong idea.


----------



## Guest

Homosexuality as it relates to composers. Discuss. (Obviously no Russians need be mentioned).


----------



## Dim7

Repeat the viewpoint explained in the OP just worded differently


----------



## Guest

Say again the opinion expounded in the OP just phrased in another way.


----------



## Bayreuth

Poll: Which Baroque composer had the smelliest poop?


----------



## Zhdanov

http://www.talkclassical.com/5112-gay-composers.html


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is everyone on the forum gay?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*Pet slug sharing.*

-step one: get a slug or snail _(see under plants after it rains)_
-step two: name it!
-step three: feed it _(see vegetables)_
-step three: upload a photo to this thread
-step four: update every week
-ADVANCED mode: get two slugs

At the end of the year points will be awarded for longevity, size, successful breeding and cuteness. Upon reaching a number of points you gain the right to add a title to your username, ex: _*Sluglord*_ Dr. Johnson.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Richannes Wrahms said:


> *Pet slug sharing.*
> 
> -step one: get a slug or snail _(see under plants after it rains)_
> -step two: name it!
> -step three: feed it _(see vegetables)_
> -step three: upload a photo to this thread
> -step four: update every week
> -ADVANCED mode: get two slugs
> 
> At the end of the year points will be awarded for longevity, size, successful breeding and cuteness. Upon reaching a number of points you gain the right to add a title to your username, ex: _*Sluglord*_ Dr. Johnson.




Er... .

Where I come from we do not treat slugs as pets and we certainly don't share them. If anyone finds a slug they eat it all up immediately.


----------



## Dim7

Rank the members in your friends list


----------



## Dim7

Top 10 smallest positive integers


----------



## mstar

Dim7 said:


> Rank the members in your friends list


Rank the members in your friends list other than the usual ones.


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is everyone on the forum gay?


We run the extremes from gay to completely depressed.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

dogen said:


> I Liked this, but now I feel worried.
> 
> I may have to Unlike it, so no one gets the wrong idea.
> Dogen liked this post


Don't worry, they may not have noticed...........


----------



## Blancrocher

*Thread Un-Lockdown*

Hey everybody! This is the "Thread Un-Lockdown" thread!! That's right!! This thread is for replies to threads that have been locked down by the moderators! Ever find a thread that's been closed, read through it looking for inflammatory material that hasn't been deleted, and then found a post that you had a GREAT reply to? Well, my friend, this thread is for you! You've got a final cutting remark for a member who left the forum in disgust?--post it here! You've got an iron-clad definition of atonality?--we're all ears! You've got an original 4'33'' joke?--well now's your chance (though I'm not sure I believe you). Let's go, everybody--a lot of threads just opened for business!! And you'd better hurry, in case things get out of hand--you don't want to be one of the suckers who had to wait to post in "Thread Un-Lockdown #2."


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Top 10 smallest positive integers


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10


----------



## Dim7

Lyric vs. Dramatic posters, which do you prefer?


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> 1 2 3 4 *5* 6 7 8 9 10


I disagree wholeheartedly. "5" is a blasphemous outrage and a disgrace to the wonderful world of integers, and it simply should not exist.

Therefore I propose: 
1 2 3 4 427 6 7 8 9


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

mstar said:


> I disagree wholeheartedly. "5" is a blasphemous outrage and a disgrace to the wonderful world of integers, and it simply should not exist.
> 
> Therefore I propose:
> 1 2 3 4 427 6 7 8 9


*Rachmaninoff* 

filler text 15 characters


----------



## mstar

*The Advertise Yourself Thread*

Rules:
1. Pretend like you're not advertising yourself. 
2. Describe with gushing eloquence and sentimental romanticism why you're more than just mommy's favorite musician.
3. Use your post to convince yourself that you really _are_ more than mommy's favorite musician, which I believe is a laudable feat in itself, so to speak.


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> *Rachmaninoff*
> 
> filler text 15 characters


If you wrote his full name in a post, would it overcome the 15 characters barrier?


----------



## mstar

Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff


----------



## Cosmos

hpowders said:


> We run the extremes from gay to completely depressed.


And sometimes at the same time


----------



## Mahlerian

*Tchaikovsky Wasn't Gay!*

Look, guys, I know you like to think this, but I've done a lot of reading. It turns out that he wasn't gay at all. No, Peter Tchaikovsky was _one seriously miserable and depressed dude_. He even tried committing suicide! I'm sorry, but I can't accept people saying he was gay anymore.


----------



## mstar

^^ I propose we just make a subforum on "Gays in Classical Music".


----------



## Mahlerian

mstar said:


> ^^ I propose we just make a subforum on "Gays in Classical Music".


I'll put it next to the idea for a subforum on "Straights in Classical Music."


----------



## Dim7

Tips on learning the same language


----------



## SimonNZ

***** Mendelssohn, sister of Felix


----------



## Cosmos

SimonNZ said:


> ***** Mendelssohn, sister of Felix


I found this funnier just because, to me, "Fanny" is a silly and childish word for "butt"


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Doesn't sound like Beethoven but is


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Mendelssohn a Nazi?


----------



## hpowders

*SIGN THE PETITION!!!*

Post No. 1: Please sign. I am trying to get enough signatures to once and for all eliminate those obnoxious, repetitive Bruckner scherzos from all his symphonies. Tell your friends! I need a lot of signatures!!


----------



## mstar

*Help Me Get Bruckner*
What are your tips for getting guys? Based on how much you know about me on TC, do you think Bruckner and I would be a good match?


----------



## Dr Johnson

mstar said:


> *Help Me Get Bruckner*
> What are your tips for getting guys? Based on how much you know about me on TC, do you think *Bruckner and I would be a good match?*


You'd have to be a virgin.


----------



## Guest

5 is NOT an integer.That is the simple truthful fact of the matter. If you believe that it is then you are just another brain-washed, political correctness, Westerner who follows idiotic liberal propaganda pushed onto you by your Satanic governments. Let's chat!


----------



## Dim7

Sounds like Beethoven and is


----------



## hpowders

Depressed Composers.

Post No. 1: We did Gay Composers; so let's go polar opposite!!
List all your favorites. Do not be afraid.


----------



## mstar

Dr Johnson said:


> You'd have to be a virgin.


The reference went over my head, so to speak. But just to let you know - I wasn't serious. 
'f I hadta pick, man! it wouldn't be Bruckner, that's fur shore.


----------



## Cosmos

hpowders said:


> Depressed Composers.
> 
> Post No. 1: We did Gay Composers; so let's go polar opposite!!
> List all your favorites. Do not be afraid.


It'd be easier to write a list of composers who _weren't_ depressed


----------



## Dim7

A Great Thread Idea That I Forgot


----------



## mstar

Cosmos said:


> It'd be easier to write a list of composers who _weren't_ depressed


Ouch. 12344276789


----------



## Dim7

Depressed people who were not composers


----------



## joen_cph

Your Favourite Tooth


----------



## mstar

joen_cph said:


> Your Favourite Tooth


Thank goodness we went from depression to teeth! I was getting a little bummed out there...
Actually not kidding.


----------



## Dim7

Petition to include the word "atonal" into the TC auto-censored words list


----------



## Dim7

The most unimportant non-musician not in non-music


----------



## mstar

Dim7 said:


> The most unimportant non-musician not in non-music


The most important non-musician not in music.


----------



## mstar

Right-handed in a left-handed work:
I'm just wondering if I can play Scriabin's prelude and nocturne for the left hand if I accidentally broke it. Can I use my right hand instead or do you think it's just not socially acceptable? What would Scriabin think? I mean - is he public domain yet? I really can't risk being sued for this, but I'm kind of desperate....


----------



## hpowders

*Rejuvenation by Elimination*

In keeping with the spirit of Easter, how many posters here on TC completely turn over their Friends' List and start all over again?


----------



## hpowders

*Help Needed!*

Post No 1: Can someone explain the difference among TC:

1. Moderators

2. Administrators

3, Smooth Operators

I assume the Smooth Operators are at the top of the heap because they are the only group that has a popular song named for them. Correct?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Cosmos said:


> It'd be easier to write a list of composers who _weren't_ depressed


Uhhhh...Haydn, Mendelssohn (?), J. S. Bach, uhhhh...Handel? Liszt maybe? Scriabin, Vivaldi, ummmm, Clara Schumann? I give up.


----------



## Chronochromie

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Uhhhh...Haydn, Mendelssohn (?), J. S. Bach, uhhhh...Handel? Liszt maybe? Scriabin, Vivaldi, ummmm, Clara Schumann? I give up.


On Haydn (from Wiki) : "For much of his life he benefited from a "happy and naturally cheerful temperament", but in his later life, there is evidence for periods of depression, notably in the correspondence with Mrs. Genzinger and in Dies's biography, based on visits made in Haydn's old age."


----------



## mstar

hpowders said:


> *Rejuvenation by Elimination*


I know this sounds weird, but every time I see that my first thought is "nihilism"...


----------



## hpowders

mstar said:


> I know this sounds weird, but every time I see that my first thought is "nihilism"...


Yes! That's one terrific Egyptian river!!


----------



## mstar

*Pierre Boulez, my friend and musician:*
I'm planning to start a company where we produce little Furby-like toys that look, sound, and sing (yes _sing_) like Boulez. Would you be willing to invest in this? Would you buy this product? Wouldn't you be excited to own your very own Boulez?
Okay, this made me shiver in repulsion. I am actually very disturbed that this even came to mind.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Did Karl Marx like Atonal music?


----------



## mstar

Would Shostakovich and the NSA get along? If so, can we logically deduce that Karl Marx liked atonal music?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which food do you prefer when listening to classical music?:

1. Macaroni Salad.

2. Pepperoni Salad.

3. Testosteroni salad.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> Poll: Which food do you prefer when listening to classical music?:
> 
> 1. Macaroni Salad.
> 
> 2. Pepperoni Salad.
> 
> 3. Testosteroni salad.


4. Mendelssohni salad


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Your favourite composer name


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Your favourite composer name


 My favorite is Melodie Tonalberg.


----------



## hpowders

Which fellers are better? Atonal or tonal?


----------



## mstar

hpowders said:


> Which fellers are better? Atonal or tonal?


Polytonal. 15 characters


----------



## hpowders

mstar said:


> Polytonal. 15 characters


Polly want atonal! Polly want atonal!!


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Polly want atonal! Polly want atonal!!
> 
> View attachment 83014


For the love O' Mercy! Be a good feller and give the damn bird what he craves!!! :guitar:


----------



## millionrainbows

Tonal:










Atonal:


----------



## mstar

^^^ Polytonal?


----------



## millionrainbows

From Yellowbrick Road to The Ring: One dwarf's rise to operatic fame


----------



## hpowders

I'm about one foot short of completely going out of my mind. Atonally speaking.


----------



## millionrainbows

I saw a magazine on the newsstand called "Ring" and was sorely disappointed when it turned out not to be about Wagner, but boxing. Then I realized that the images went really well with the music. So now, every Tuesday is "Ring" night, with boxing on the TV and Wagner's music as the soundtrack.


----------



## hpowders

Mayonnaise and the art of TC listening.

Post No. 1: Can't we all get along, condimentally speaking?


----------



## Dr Johnson

millionrainbows said:


> I saw a magazine on the newsstand called "Ring" and was sorely disappointed when it turned out not to be about Wagner, but boxing. Then I realized that the images went really well with the music. So now, every Tuesday is "Ring" night, with boxing on the TV and Wagner's music as the soundtrack.


At least it wasn't an "adult" magazine.


----------



## hpowders

Sounds are good.

Post No. 1: Post your favorite sound.


----------



## hpowders

Would you like a full-sized German soprano?

Post No.1: My wife and I have just divorced. PM me.


----------



## Dim7

Opinions on Donald Trump's recently published composition: Night on a Combover Mountain


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> Mayonnaise and the art of TC listening.
> 
> Post No. 1: Can't we all get along, condimentally speaking?


No, because others prefer Mendelssohn to mayonnaise.


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> No, because others prefer Mendelssohn to mayonnaise.


Name one.


----------



## mstar

Poll: Atonal/Tonal: THE POLL *FOLLOW-UP*
a. Atonal
b. Tonal

Ok, this time it's head-on - let's see which one dominates!
GooooOOOOOO ATONAL! (For the record I just listened to a slew of Schoenberg. It included the PIANO CONCERTO.)


----------



## arpeggio

Why is it that people who dislike atonal music have a right to their opinion and who like atonal music do not.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> Name one.


I am one of them.


----------



## arpeggio

Your favorite performance of a work you hate.


----------



## Pugg

arpeggio said:


> Your favorite performance of a work you hate.


Your favourite work by a performer you dislike


----------



## hpowders

Music that carries you away.

Post No. 1: I recently got carried away by 2 guys in white coats. As I was ruminating in my straight jacket, I thought this would be a great idea for a TC thread. So what classical music carries you away?


----------



## hpowders

*HELP URGENTLY NEEDED!!!*

Post No. 1: I saw an ad for a ring at Niebelung's pawn shop. Could this really be Wagner's Ring?


----------



## mstar

Pugg said:


> Your favourite work by a performer you dislike


Makes me think of that "Lang Lang at the Circus" performance of a Chopin piano work. What a thread - what a rant... For once, TC members had a common enemy.


----------



## Dim7

11-Ketotestosterone and the art of TC posting


----------



## geralmar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Your favourite composer name


Humperdinck

Ketelbey

Rott


----------



## SimonNZ

Tonalists! We're halfway towards winning!

-This time last year most of those brainwashed atonalists would have voted "atonal" exclusively in the poll. But thanks to our efforts now most are saying/admitting "both"! If we redouble or efforts we can have the flock safely back in the tonalist fold by this time next year! Get out there and start those threads! Start those polls!


----------



## Guest

The Atonalist Victory:

The Achievements of so-called "DaveM."


----------



## Guest

The Autobiography of "DaveM" :
A Lifetime of Deceit.

(Kindle version contains sensational interview "Secrets of the Cabal.")


----------



## Guest

No 1 in NY Times Bestsellers!

Milquetoast: Anatomy of a Schism.


----------



## Guest

let's talk about stunning halibut, shall we?


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Your favourite composer name


Your favorite composer name in the context of a song.


----------



## Cosmos

Zhdanov said:


> http://www.talkclassical.com/5112-gay-composers.html


Other stupid thread ideas, then :

Russian Composers
Women Composers
Baroque Era Composers
Any identy label that distinguishes composers


----------



## millionrainbows

I like atonal music, even though it doesn't exist.


----------



## hpowders

Haven't seen this anywhere...any news on the new Maria Callas boxed set?


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> I like atonal music, even though it doesn't exist.


You need to calm down, breath deeply and approach your tonal self-centeredness.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Haven't seen this anywhere...any news on the new Maria Callas boxed set?


You mean "Callas: The Unreleased Shower Sessions"?The fidelity is so-so, a little too much reverberation, but all in all, a great treat for hard-core Callas fans. Too bad this was audio only, it would have made a very exciting DVD...


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> You need to calm down, breath deeply and approach your tonal self-centeredness.


With this ringing in my ears, all music now sounds tonal. There's always that reference tone...


----------



## Dim7

Child prodigies are so passé: here come the gorilla composers


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Whisked whisks whisking whisky


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Cosmos said:


> Other stupid thread ideas, then :
> 
> Russian Composers
> Women Composers
> Baroque Era Composers
> Any identy label that distinguishes composers


Musically Inclined Composers


----------



## DiesIraeCX

The TC Top 200 Most Recommended Atonal Works

Cast your votes now. Voting closes at 19:51 (7:51 P.M.)


----------



## SimonNZ

DiesIraeCX said:


> The TC Top 200 Most Recommended Atonal Works
> 
> Cast your votes now. *Voting closes at 19:51 (7:51 P.M.)*


"Voting closes each time thread gets locked."


----------



## arpeggio

How come the aesthetics of people who listen to Beethoven is superior to the aesthetics of people who listen to Beethoven and Elliot Carter?

Why is if that the people who listen to Beethoven and Carter are the elitist snobs?


----------



## Pugg

millionrainbows said:


> You mean "Callas: The Unreleased Shower Sessions"?The fidelity is so-so, a little too much reverberation, but all in all, a great treat for hard-core Callas fans. Too bad this was audio only, it would have made a very exciting DVD...


Most hilarious post this year by anyone :tiphat:


----------



## Dim7

*Sounds like Beethoven and is*

The Eroica symphony sounds like it's by Beethoven, which is no wonder as it in fact IS composed by Beethoven, as everyone already knows.


----------



## Pugg

How much money will you earn every time some bias member trying to prove a point by their rude opinion?


----------



## Bayreuth

Your favorite work that you have never listened


----------



## Bayreuth

How yellow M&Ms helped music evolve


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed:

Anyone know where I can purchase an a-tuning fork?

Post No. 1: I'm a novice at a-tonal music and I know this would help me.


----------



## Guest

How is it that a country with a population of over 140 million people has no record of any homosexuals?


----------



## Dr Johnson




----------



## Cosmos

dogen said:


> How is it that a country with a population of over 140 million people has no record of any homosexuals?


Trick question: they don't exist! It's all propaganda!

[end sarcasm]


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Straight Composers.


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite pieces that sound straight but composed by gay composers.


----------



## Bayreuth

hpowders said:


> Your favorite pieces that sound straight but composed by gay composers.


Those deceitful sons of bitches!! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Your Favorite Bisexual Pianists Who Specialized in the Austro-German Repertoire.


----------



## hpowders

Your Favorite Violinist Who Specialized on the G-String.


----------



## hpowders

New Composer Here! Please listen!!

Post No.1: Straight Theme With 27 Gay Variations for Microtonal Piano.


----------



## hpowders

*Help Urgently Needed:*

Post No. 1: I bought several of the Callas boxed sets-even the new Callas compilation.
However, this is just recycling the same scenes and arias.
Why isn't she recording anything new? Am I missing something here?


----------



## Bayreuth

Favorite gay work by a gay composer who later in life rectified and realized he wasn't gay after all


----------



## Cosmos

Favorite group to mock


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Dim7 - a profound revolutionary poster or a charlatan who writes his posts by banging the keyboard randomly?


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Dim7 - a profound revolutionary poster or a charlatan who writes his posts by banging his keyboard randomly?


I've never noticed any structure or themes in his posts. All of his fans are trying to act superior to us.


----------



## hpowders

Counterintuitive countertenors.


----------



## Zhdanov

http://www.talkclassical.com/43006-favorite-gay-composers.html


----------



## Bayreuth

How to identify a homosexual from his music


----------



## Bayreuth

-Favorite blonde composers

-Favorite blonde composers (Gay Edition)


----------



## Zhdanov

Cosmos said:


> Other stupid thread ideas, then :
> 
> Russian Composers
> Women Composers
> Baroque Era Composers
> Any identy label that distinguishes composers


baroque composers isn't stupid because designates the style and manner in which the music was written.


----------



## Bayreuth

*Gay Composers*



Cosmos said:


> Other stupid thread ideas, then :
> 
> Russian Composers
> Women Composers
> Baroque Era Composers
> Any identy label that distinguishes composers


Jesus Christ I hadn't read this...

Sexuality is an identity label?? OMG. In what world is sexuality a defining feature of people?? What does it tell you that someone likes men or women or both?? Absolutely nothing.

Russian composers share History, traditions, musical culture, folklore... Baroque composers share a time in History and a particular perception of music and arts. Since Ancient times Women and Men have had different interests and different ways of perceiving the world around them as they have developed their capabilities and emotions differently.

Sexuality is a preference and not an identity label. People's sexual choices tells you nothing about their music. Next time we can make a thread on "Composers who prefer beer over whisky" or "Composers who prefer cats" and then you tell me if that is an identity label.


----------



## hpowders

Contemptuous Posters

Post no. 1: Curse them all here free of retribution!


----------



## Guest

Do you self-identify as asexual?


----------



## hpowders

Favorite pieces by ISIS composers that have blown you up recently.


----------



## Cosmos

Bayreuth said:


> *Gay Composers*
> 
> Jesus Christ I hadn't read this...
> 
> Sexuality is an identity label?? OMG. In what world is sexuality a defining feature of people?? What does it tell you that someone likes men or women or both?? Absolutely nothing.
> 
> Russian composers share History, traditions, musical culture, folklore... Baroque composers share a time in History and a particular perception of music and arts. Since Ancient times Women and Men have had different interests and different ways of perceiving the world around them as they have developed their capabilities and emotions differently.
> 
> Sexuality is a preference and not an identity label. People's sexual choices tells you nothing about their music. Next time we can make a thread on "Composers who prefer beer over whisky" or "Composers who prefer cats" and then you tell me if that is an identity label.


Fair point about styles. I just figures it's good to recognize oppressed groups whose person-hoods are often invalidated or ignored because people just "don't like it".

In fact, my thread and response were both reactions to just how many people think it's laughable to even mention a composers sexuality, even though it can play important historic roles in said composer's lives. Also, a bit of a tongue in cheek response to some on here who just hate gay people.

Well, sorry everyone, I know you guys don't care a smidgen, but I do.


----------



## Bayreuth

Cosmos said:


> Fair point about styles. I just figures it's good to recognize oppressed groups whose person-hoods are often invalidated or ignored because people just "don't like it".
> 
> In fact, my thread and response were both reactions to just how many people think it's laughable to even mention a composers sexuality, even though it can play important historic roles in said composer's lives. Also, a bit of a tongue in cheek response to some on here who just hate gay people.
> 
> Well, sorry everyone, I know you guys don't care a smidgen, but I do.


It's OK, I know you meant well and I didn't suggest you were homophobic in any way.

Like you, I'm also concerned and surprised by certain homophobic attitudes I have detected in this forum, but you need to understand that segregating people according to sexual preference (or considering that it is in any way a reflection of who they are) is just a way of letting those express their own fear and hatred towards certain communities they just don't understand. I know this is a very serious matter that a few jokes won't clear but what can we do about these intolerant fools? In my case, I try to make some mockery out of them in this thread, hoping maybe one day they will read it and realize how stupid their premises look from the outside. I recommend you do the same instead of creating a place for them to express their prejudices.

I guess you are right about giving voice to the opressed, but in this particular case, you are just giving voice to the opressors.


----------



## arpeggio

I have decided to end the great 'atonal' debate once and for all.

Let us call the music of Schoenberg and Boulez and Cage what is really is: GARBAGE.

And the entities who are aficionados of GARBAGE are aesthetic PIGS.

To those who are opponents to GARBAGE, remember we PIGS love the smell, feeling, sight, taste and sound of GARBAGE. "When you fight with a PIG you both get dirty - but the PIG likes it"?

Poll: How many of us are PIGS?

I know I am one: OINK! OINK!


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Favorite pieces by ISIS composers that have blown you up recently.


That's a good one! ...only here is the definitive version:

What music by ISIS composers has blown you away lately?

Ha ha, I'm so funny! _(thanks to hpowders)_


----------



## millionrainbows

A very short work called: Concerto for Suicide Bomber and Large Orchestra by Mohammed Izblowwlah Youup. The large orchestra was chosen to maximize the loss of life. I suggest sitting in the back row. The performance is very short, or very long, depending on if you are gauging the duration by the events of the performance, or by the much longer after-effects. Audience reactions have varied: some report missing legs, others blindness and partial deafness. All sensed a definite feeling of tragedy and anger, which gradually turned into a lingering depression.


----------



## mstar

dogen said:


> Do you self-identify as asexual?


Yes, why? 15 characters


----------



## mstar

arpeggio said:


> I have decided to end the great 'atonal' debate once and for all.
> 
> Let us call the music of Schoenberg and Boulez and Cage what is really is: GARBAGE.
> 
> And the entities who are aficionados of GARBAGE are aesthetic PIGS.
> 
> To those who are opponents to GARBAGE, remember we PIGS love the smell, feeling, sight, taste and sound of GARBAGE. "When you fight with a PIG you both get dirty - but the PIG likes it"?
> 
> Poll: How many of us are PIGS?
> 
> I know I am one: OINK! OINK!


Atonal Rants Thread:
Bash every atonal anything to your heart's content!


----------



## Guest

mstar said:


> Yes, why? 15 characters


It was a perhaps rather oblique comment on the assertion that sexuality is not an identity issue.


----------



## Cosmos

Concerts you've attended that you expected to be good, and ended up being so


----------



## Guest

Composers who resisted Nutella.


----------



## mstar

Which Famous Classical Singers Should Be Famous?


----------



## mstar

Pure and Simple Thread
Name all things "pure and simple". In order, please.


----------



## Pugg

Who is your favourite gay conductor :lol:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pugg said:


> Who is your favourite gay conductor :lol:


Lenny Bernstein (if he counts)


----------



## Pugg

Who's your favourite lesbian singer?


----------



## Bayreuth

Formal petition to include sexual orientation in every member's profile or, failing that, at the very least require every gay member in the forum to identify himself/herself as a homosexual


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Bayreuth said:


> Formal petition to include sexual orientation in every member's profile or, failing that, at the very least require every gay member in the forum to identify himself/herself as a homosexual


----------



## TurnaboutVox

mstar said:


> *Help Me Get Bruckner*
> What are your tips for getting guys? Based on how much you know about me on TC, do you think Bruckner and I would be a good match?


No. My tip is to pick someone still alive.


----------



## Dim7

TurnaboutVox said:


> No. My tip is to pick someone still alive.


Are you implying that dead people are somehow inferior? What a bigot....


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Are you implying that dead people are somehow inferior? What a bigot....


The dead ones are usually taken, though...


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> No. My tip is to pick someone still alive.


You can be too picky.


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


>


Nah, grindr.

(Hope that's not soliciting to other sites)


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Schumannism vs Mendelssohnism


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mendelssohn before Mendelssohn


----------



## Cosmos

Chocolate Ice Cream v. Vanilla Ice Cream, THE POLL

First post: Vanilla has no flavor,

Rest of thread: debate on what flavor is and whether or not vanilla ice cream has it


----------



## hpowders

Minimalism vs. Maximalism:

Post No 1: Name your favorite pithy posters and your favorite dissertation posters. Give quotes to support your views.


----------



## Guest

hpowders said:


> Give quotes to support your views.


No. 

sharntsharnt


----------



## hpowders

Singers who should know better.

Post no.1: list your favorite mis-casts.


----------



## Bayreuth

New study claims that Richard Strauss influenced Monteverdi (prove inside)


----------



## Balthazar

*Aging and the art of TC posting*


----------



## hpowders

Does history treat TC posters fairly?

Post No. 1: Follow some senior posters through time. Has history rewarded them? Did history ban them? Did any become administrators? Did any buy out the original owner? Did any become TC bloggers? Share your fascinating findings right here!!


----------



## hpowders

Latest Returns

Post no.1: Discuss the classical CDs and DVDs you have been most passionate about returning.


----------



## hpowders

Minimalism vs Infinitesmalism.

Post No. 1: Which do you prefer and why?


----------



## hpowders

Music of the Roman Empire vs. Beethoven's Emperor Concerto and Nero's harp music vs. Nono's more modern compositions.

Post no. 1: Discuss the similarities and differences.


----------



## Dim7

Exercising your vice


----------



## hpowders

Were atolls formed from intense vibrations due to atonal music? Were toll bridges constructed by workers inspired by listening to tonal classical music?

Post No. 1: Discuss your theories here. Please!! No rancor/rancour. Think of your core/cour TC readers!!


----------



## hpowders

Help Urgently Needed!!

Post no. 1: My wife has a terrible singing voice and never stops singing! How can I tell her to shut the **** up without offending her?


----------



## hpowders

How does Boulez make incomprehensibility so beautiful?


----------



## hpowders

Music that sounds like Nono but isn't.


----------



## hpowders

What are you eating?

Post no. 1: In an Italian restaurant. Should I choose the Biscuit Tortoni or the Testosteroni?


----------



## hpowders

Men in music.

Post no. 1: Any favorite/favourite musical males? Discuss here!


----------



## Bayreuth

Music that sounds like music but isn't


----------



## hpowders

Do you know of any operas with modestly dressed choruses?

Post No.1: Taking my 6 and 8 year olds to the opera, first time.


----------



## hpowders

Music that sounds Portuguese but is really Spanish.


----------



## Dim7

Posters that seem like bots, but are actually real persons


----------



## Bayreuth

*TC Gossip.*

A place to freely share rumours and non-contrasted information about TC members (especially those regarding their sexual orientation)


----------



## SimonNZ

Historically informed performances of Nero's fiddling: should just the pre-modern area of Rome be set ablaze?


----------



## hpowders

Classical Music Confession Thread

A. Christian Section

B. Jewish Section

C. Muslim Section

D. Secular Section


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

Post No.1: I want to post my favorite/favourite instrument to play, but I'm afraid if I describe it, I will be banned for indecency. What should I do?


----------



## mstar

hpowders said:


> Classical Music Confession Thread
> 
> A. Christian Section
> 
> B. Jewish Section
> 
> C. Muslim Section
> 
> D. Secular Section


E. Atonalist Section


----------



## mstar

hpowders said:


> Men in music.
> 
> Post no. 1: Any favorite/favourite musical males? Discuss here!


That depends on your definition of "male". According to my definition, "male" doesn't exist.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Classical Music Confussion Thread

A. General Disoriented Section

T. Tone-deaf Section

C-Section 

PC. Philosophy and Controversy Section

O. Offended Section


----------



## hpowders

mstar said:


> E. Atonalist Section


They have nothing to confess. They are always right!


----------



## ArtMusic

"I dislike eating apples".

"That means you also disliking swimming and you tend to read the international news section of your newspapers without thinking if Dad's car has enough petrol".

:lol:


----------



## Pugg

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Classical Music Confussion Thread
> 
> A. General Disoriented Section
> 
> T. Tone-deaf Section
> 
> C-Section
> 
> PC. Philosophy and Controversy Section
> 
> O. Offended Section


A and O will be popular


----------



## Dim7

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Classical Music Confussion Thread
> 
> A. General Disoriented Section
> 
> T. Tone-deaf Section
> 
> C-Section
> 
> PC. Philosophy and Controversy Section
> 
> O. Offended Section


http://www.talkclassical.com/40504-classical-music-confusional.html?highlight=


----------



## kartikeys

Musical piece to lull your partner into sleep


----------



## Pugg

kartikeys said:


> Musical piece to lull your partner into sleep


Not to loud I suppose?


----------



## Ingélou

A thread *to improve the lyrics of popular songs.*

_*How much is that doggy in the window -
The one with the waggly tail?
How much is that doggy in the window?
I do hope that doggy's for sale.* _

C'mon - what would it be doing in the window if it wasn't for sale? Why is having a waggly tail so distinctive - does that mean there are a lot of other dogs in the window with drooping tails? Anyway, a grown woman saying 'doggy' - it's pathetic.

*How much is that mongrel in the window - 
The one with the long brindled tail?
How much is that mongrel in the window -
If it's cheap, then you might make a sale*.

Okay, I admit there are scansion problems in the last line - easily got over by a professional singer - but logically, it's a great improvement. There is so *much* material to work on...


----------



## Guest

Pugg said:


> A and O will be popular


I think they should be sub-fora.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> That's a good one! ...only here is the definitive version:
> 
> What music by ISIS composers has blown you away lately?
> 
> Ha ha, I'm so funny! _(thanks to hpowders)_


I make a habit of changing certain words so it doesn't appear I am mocking thread creators located just southwest of here, in the "normal" (there's an over-statement!!) forum.


----------



## hpowders

A Composer's Seventh Best Symphony

Post no. 1: List your seventh favorite symphonies right here. Don't hold back!!


----------



## hpowders

kartikeys said:


> Musical piece to lull your partner into sleep


Any classical piece seems to work!!


----------



## hpowders

Sounds like Nero fiddling while Rome was burning, but isn't.


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed!

Post no. 1: I have eclectic musical tastes. Will my utility company be turning my power off?


----------



## Guest

Get over it. 

no, really, you need to


----------



## Dr Johnson

Beethoven's rattle.

Mozart's teething ring.


----------



## hpowders

Fun With Scarlatti and Rankings

Post No. 1: Rate 513 Scarlatti keyboard sonatas from best loved to least favorite.


----------



## Pugg

hpowders said:


> Fun With Scarlatti and Rankings
> 
> Post No. 1: Rate 513 Scarlatti keyboard sonatas from best loved to least favorite.


Post starter always goes first :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Help, I'm an underage girl and Bruckner's hitting on me


----------



## hpowders

Apology to TC:

Post No.1: A thousand pardons. I presented a drawing of Beethoven with 5 O'Clock shadow. It was immediately taken off and I'm sorry to anyone it offended. I won't let it happen again.

Sincerely,

NaxosClassics


----------



## hpowders

Pugg said:


> Post starter always goes first :lol:


Any of them with Horowitz performing.


----------



## Dim7

Could they actually write their own posts?


----------



## hpowders

*IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!*

Post no. 1: Perfect pitch found!! PM me to describe and claim.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Never mind pitch, what about yaw?


----------



## Dim7

The Prog Denigration Thread


----------



## hpowders

Your third most favorite conductors!!

Post No. 1: Finally!! A place to list all your third best favorites without fear of retribution or banishment.

I will start. George Johnson, of Long Island Railroad fame. Can always find those sneaking on the train without paying.


----------



## hpowders

Weather Thread

Sun-forum: Fifth Favorite Month.

Post no. 1 Discuss your favorite fifths.
Use photos for support, when possible, or if impossible, don't.


----------



## hpowders

Sounds like a Mod, but wasn't.

Post No.1: Post your favorite authoritarian TC posts by regular posters trying to throw their weight around.


----------



## mstar

The OCD Thread.

Post your first favorite composer, your first favorite musician, your second favorite composer, your second favorite musician, your third favorite composer, your third favorite musician, and your very favorite Berlioz, all with mandatory accompanying pictures and ALL IN ORDER.

But just _don't_ forget the Berlioz.


----------



## mstar

Favorite composer by pianist by composer.
Post 1: Favorite composer by pianist by composer by pianist and his mother and daughter and sister's wife's cousin's brother's mother's child's pet dog and Honey-Nut Berlioz and his Chopin list to go to the store and Schrodinger and his cat and Schoenberg and his pianistic cat with Beethoven and Einstein all in the park together and on a beach and Xenakis and all hell breaks loose and what is your favorite?


----------



## Bayreuth

I'm a little bit worried. No new Bruckner thread has been created in three days.


----------



## Bayreuth

Ludwig van Beethoven's 11th favorite tree


----------



## Bayreuth

Wagner and Stockhausen are locked in a room. Only one can survive. Who do you give the gun to?


----------



## SimonNZ

Poll: Which would you rather be lectured on by Wagner:

a) racial "purity", via print

b) spiritual and emotional "purity", via song


----------



## Dim7

Wagner and Stockhausen are stuck in a house.

Ich werde meinen Mantel zu bekommen.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Bayreuth said:


> Wagner and Stockhausen are locked in a room. Only one can survive. Who do you give the gun to?


They should have to fight for it.


----------



## Dim7

*The fourth most mediocre composer?*

There seems to be a widespread consensus between listeners and experts of classical music about the Big Three composers of mediocrity, who composed large amounts of consistently decent yet uninspired music. We have heard about the mediocrity of these three composers over and over again, but what about the fourth most mediocre?


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> *The fourth most mediocre composer?*
> 
> There seems to be a widespread consensus between listeners and experts of classical music about the Big Three composers of mediocrity, who composed large amounts of consistently decent yet uninspired music. We have heard about the mediocrity of these three composers over and over and again, but what about the fourth most mediocre?


Wait, Raff, Telemann, and who was the third again?


----------



## elgar's ghost

Mahlerian said:


> Wait, Raff, Telemann, and who was the third again?


(Anton Rubinstein)

Who said that? :lol:


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Mahlerian said:


> Wait, Raff, Telemann, and who was the third again?


He'll tell you himself!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite depressed composers who force themselves to write gay pieces.


----------



## Balthazar

Notice: Due to a worldwide shortage of hyperbole, the Opera Sub-Forum has been closed indefinitely. Once supplies become available, it will re-open for business as usual.


----------



## Zhdanov

http://www.talkclassical.com/43122-wagner-vs-debussy.html


----------



## mstar

Zhdanov said:


> http://www.talkclassical.com/43122-wagner-vs-debussy.html


I totally disagree!!
But I just might've agreed if Wagner was winning...


----------



## hpowders

Wagner vs. Vivaldi, The Long and Short of it.

Post No. 1: Compare and contrast.
I'll start. Vivaldi wrote better violin concertos than Wagner.


----------



## Pugg

Balthazar said:


> Notice: Due to a worldwide shortage of hyperbole, the Opera Sub-Forum has been closed indefinitely. Once supplies become available, it will re-open for business as usual.


Hilarious, post from the day :tiphat:


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> Notice: Due to a worldwide shortage of hyperbole, the Opera Sub-Forum has been closed indefinitely. Once supplies become available, it will re-open for business as usual.


This is terrible news! Can't hyperbole from older threads be recycled? Go green with the gushing!!!


----------



## Cosmos

Any thread that brings up opinions I don't agree with is automatically stupid, I'll link them below


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed:

Post No. 1: If I ask a queer-ie on TC, does that make me gay?


----------



## hpowders

Should European Classical Composers' Estates be Forced To Pay Listening Taxes To The USA When American Classical Music Stations Play Their Music?


----------



## hpowders

Was Vivaldi, Mahler's Greatest Influence?


----------



## hpowders

Would Rattle be considered as a greater conductor if he simply changed his obnoxious name to something like Smith, Johnson or Boulez?


----------



## hpowders

Do you listen to Chanukah music only during Chanukah, or all year long?


----------



## Balthazar

dogen said:


> This is terrible news! Can't hyperbole from older threads be recycled? Go green with the gushing!!!


A composting program has been in effect for a while. But you can only turn that stuff over so many times...


----------



## Guest

Bigotry: What's the best thing about it?


----------



## Dim7

Laws of logic or mathematical truths you hate


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Laws of logic or mathematical truths you hate


I know I shouldn't, but I always get irritated by








Always.


----------



## Dim7

I'm not a fan of Pi being an irrational number. I am very angry for it not being exactly 3.


----------



## Guest

Integers can be elusive.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> I'm not a fan of Pi being an irrational number. *I am very angry for it not being exactly 3*.


As are we all. Here is a simple overview of the possibilities if Pi did = 3.


----------



## Poppy Popsicle

I would like water to boil at 101°C at sea level.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Best Voldemort?


----------



## mstar

My Middle Public School Honors Kid vs. Your Middle Private School Honors Kid

I was going to stick "vs. My Labrador" in there, but I wasn't sure it wouldn't make the question too easy.


----------



## Pugg

What to put in a Schoenberg box :lol:


----------



## mstar

What Schoenberg to put in a box?
Yellow, red, or green? Pictures recommended, accompanying psychoanalysis necessary.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Favourite Mendelssohn artwork


----------



## Dim7

Do You Have / Use Brains?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is everyone on the forum except me actually Dim7?


----------



## Kieran

I think a thread (and I'm amazed there isn't one already) about Alberti Bass. I know very little about him, other than his first name sounds Venetian, and the second name German, and he's played on every one of Mozart's great piano works...


----------



## Dim7

Answer A Creepy Pick-up Line With A Ridiculous Martial Arts Move


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> Answer A Creepy Pick-up Line With A Ridiculous Martial Arts Move


Plenty off this going on


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Composer Tweets

*Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff* @Rachisyourman
Just poured my soul on paper again, see you at the premiere. #diesiriae #mexicanfoodneveragain #selfdoubt


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is everyone on the forum except me actually Dim7?


No. Everyone including you is Dim 7. No exceptions.


----------



## mstar

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Composer Tweets
> 
> *Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff* @Rachisyourman
> Just poured my soul on paper again, see you at the premiere. #diesiriae #mexicanfoodneveragain #selfdoubt


I'm just wondering how many times he can come up in a single day.

Doing a chem lab - nothing new - when my lab partners burst out laughing because some guy they don't know sent one of them a random email. The guy's name was "Sergio". 
Right then I open up my iPad and get a short one-paragraph email from the Piano Street, which hasn't sent me an email in months. It's a link to "Valentina Lisitsa on Searching for the Rachmaninoff Affinity". 
The bell rings and I go into the library to listen to music and do work. What's the first thing that comes up? Rachmaninoff.
Does it get worse? Yes. Your post... the last straw... I'm going to sleep, and _I swear_ I had better dream about something other than... RACHMANINOFF.


----------



## Guest

Greatest works by garden implements.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Alexander Mendelssohnovich

Do you Have / Use Boccherini?


----------



## Balthazar

*A hypothetic question for Beliebers, what classic Justin Bieber album would Satan love?*


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> *A hypothetic question for Beliebers, what classic Justin Bieber album would Satan love?*


Satan made them all.


----------



## Guest

Chamber music in Sleaford.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

The Knott End-on-Sea Contemporary Music Festival.

This year featuring the avante-garde music of:

Benjamin Britten
Richard Wagner
Ludwig van Beethoven

Tickets 1 guinea, 10/6, 7/6 and 5/-.


----------



## Dim7

I sent Satan a fiend request.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> I sent Satan a fiend request.


Get your coat.


----------



## Pugg

He/ she never respond though


----------



## Guest

Oestrogen and the art of mind-changing.


----------



## Guest

Is it possible to disable the tracking device when using a stolen cop car?

(Urgent answer please)


----------



## Zhdanov

http://www.talkclassical.com/42961-atonal-tonal-poll.html


----------



## Dim7

Your Top Three Living Critics of TC Moderators


----------



## TurnaboutVox

HM Government of Great Britain and Northern Ireland hereby announces that all Internet forums which are accessible from the UK, including those registered elsewhere in the EU, must now submit to new UK competition regulations concerning on-line posting and moderation activities following a change in UK / EU law.

Regulatory powers have been granted to the new Independent regulator and competition authorities
for the UK internet forums industries. These powers come into effect on *Monday, 18th April 2016.*

All UK posters to this site will be required to pre-submit their posts to the Office of Approved Posting (Offap) to ensure that there is no conflict of interest with established UK government trading partners and commercial sponsors.

The Office of Fair Comment (Comoffit) will regulate moderation activities similarly to ensure that vital existing commercial interests are protected, along with British jobs. Selected commercial material will be protected under this legislation.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> HM Government of Great Britain and Northern Ireland hereby announces that all Internet forums which are accessible from the UK, including those registered elsewhere in the EU, must now submit to new UK competition regulations concerning on-line posting and moderation activities following a change in UK / EU law.
> 
> Regulatory powers have been granted to the new Independent regulator and competition authorities
> for the UK internet forums industries. These powers come into effect on *Monday, 18th April 2016.*
> 
> All UK posters to this site will be required to pre-submit their posts to the Office of Approved Posting (Offap) to ensure that there is no conflict of interest with established UK government trading partners and commercial sponsors.
> 
> The Office of Fair Comment (Comoffit) will regulate moderation activities similarly to ensure that vital existing commercial interests are protected, along with British jobs. Selected commercial material will be protected under this legislation.


In a world only slightly different to the current one, this seems menacingly plausible.


----------



## Dim7

Menacingly Plausible Ideas


----------



## Guest

Game:
Match the Comment to the Bigot.


----------



## Guest

Who is your favourite dead, improvising, classical spectralist that couldn't write a gay opera?


----------



## mstar

dogen said:


> Who is your favourite dead, improvising, classical spectralist that couldn't write a gay opera?


Edit: Has to be *tonal.*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What is the master race?


----------



## Meyerbeer Smith

Abraham Lincoln said:


> What is the master race?


And have the athletes been checked for drugs?


----------



## Antiquarian

Poll: Best instrument for sneaking in contraband.

My bassoon hookah conversion - the Bassookah. (Pictures)

I read Russian music. Do you think this may count as a foreign language credit for college?

If we were invaded by extraterrestrials, do you think that they would appreciate Tonal or Atonal music?

(Once again, apologies for duplicating any previous stupid thread ideas that I may have missed, or if the stupid thread ideas were, in fact, actual existing threads.)


----------



## Guest

Antiquarian said:


> Poll: Best instrument for sneaking in contraband.
> 
> My bassoon hookah conversion - the Bassookah. (Pictures)
> 
> I read Russian music. Do you think this may count as a foreign language credit for college?
> 
> If we were invaded by extraterrestrials, do you think that they would appreciate Tonal or Atonal music?
> 
> (Once again, apologies for duplicating any previous stupid thread ideas that I may have missed, or if the stupid thread ideas were, in fact, actual existing threads.)


How have you missed the one on extraterrestrials? - it's on the 17th page and been locked twice (once by aliens).


----------



## Antiquarian

dogen said:


> How have you missed the one on extraterrestrials? - it's on the 17th page and been locked twice (once by aliens).


Well, my memory isn't the best anymore (or its been erased by alien abduction).


----------



## mstar

Best way to sell tonalists' brains to alien abductors.
Any suggestions welcome. 

Just kidding, friends. Hehe...


----------



## Guest

mstar said:


> Best way to sell tonalists' brains to alien abductors.
> Any suggestions welcome.
> 
> Just kidding, friends. Hehe...


Just click on the Articles button, top of page. (assuming you've got the security clearance)


----------



## mstar

Richard8655 said:


> To ears of the period, his music was appealing and fashionable and in my opinion still holds up well today.


To musicians of the period, whose ears were appealing and fashionable and in _my_ opinion still hold up well today?


----------



## Guest

Start a good ol' fashioned pure and simple poll.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Petition to change all the topics in the Composer Guestbooks subforum to "Why [name of composer] is the best composer and your favourite composer is garbage"


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

dogen said:


> Pieces that have exacerbated your PTSD recently?







[distant sounds of Lincoln screaming]


----------



## mstar

dogen said:


> Start a good ol' fashioned pure and simple poll.


Pure and Simple Poll:
1. Pure and Simple.


----------



## Guest

mstar said:


> Pure and Simple Poll:
> 1. Pure and Simple.


Thread closed while we try to work out if you're taking the wet.


----------



## mstar

dogen said:


> Thread closed while we try to work out if you're taking the wet.


Nah - if you mean what I think you mean, I don't do that stuff. 
If I did, you can be sure we'd have a sequel to the "Do you like mushrooms" poll.


----------



## Guest

Poll:
UK warns gay travellers about US anti-LGBT laws.


----------



## Chronochromie

Favorite For*u*m?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why Mendelssohn is the best composer and your favourite composer is garbage

Why your favourite composer is the best composer and Mendelssohn is garbage

Why your favourite composer is Mendelssohn and garbage is garbage

Why Mendelssohn's favourite garbage is your best composer

Why Mendelssohn is the best garbage composer

Why Mendelssohn's best is garbage

Why Mendelssohn

Why garbage


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why the best composer is a composer and your favourite composer is also a composer


----------



## Dim7

It occurred to me that I find it really difficult to imagine Richannes Wrahms as a baby. I can imagine him as an adult, a teenager, a non-baby child but not as a baby. Which TC members you think were babies once and which were never?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> It occurred to me that I find it really difficult to imagine Richannes Wrahms as a baby. I can imagine him as an adult, a teenager, a non-baby child but not as a baby. Which TC members you think were babies once and which were never?


Similarly, I can't imagine some TC members as a woman.


----------



## Dim7

To be honest I find even the idea that you are all actual human beings in the real world and not just some internet creatures kinda creepy.


----------



## Barbebleu

I've just suddenly realised that it would hardly be possible to come up with stupid thread ideas that are any more stupid than most of what are posted as genuine thread ideas.


----------



## Cosmos

Barbebleu said:


> I've just suddenly realised that it would hardly be possible to come up with stupid thread ideas that are any more stupid than most of what are posted as genuine thread ideas.


You could always just link them here if you're not not inspired or not feeling creative

edit: /sarcasm


----------



## Dim7

Cosmos said:


> You could always just link them here if you're not not inspired or not feeling creative
> 
> edit: /sarcasm


I think that is known as "Russian comedy".


----------



## joen_cph

Barbebleu said:


> I've just suddenly realised that it would hardly be possible to come up with stupid thread ideas that are any more stupid than most of what are posted as genuine thread ideas.


You´re just playing an easy card.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I think that is known as "Russian comedy".


Yeah sock it to 'em!


----------



## Guest

the shoulders 

and the thighs


----------



## arpeggio

Why is it that individuals who like to listen to 20th century atonal/avant-garde/serial/aleatoric/whatever music are elitist snobs while those who just listen to the great masters of the 18th and 19th centuries are not?


----------



## mstar

German Russians that sound like Russian German Vikings from South Africa and East Asian Germans but why not Austro-Hungarian Germans and their mothers?


----------



## Vaneyes

dogen said:


> Similarly, I can't imagine some TC members as a woman.


"Behave."


----------



## Pugg

Vaneyes said:


> "Behave."


Blond, arrogant and rude....... : lets thinks ..........


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mendelssohn vs Hitler


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Choose one:

I am not a:

A. Murderer

B. Modernist

C. Misanthrope


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Meddlesome vs Shoeman


----------



## Dim7

Beethoven's impact on himself


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Beethoven's impact on global warming


----------



## Guest

Tycho's impact on the Moon.


----------



## hpowders

There are no dumb questions...only dumb answers.

Post no. 1: Post the most exasperating answers you have received to perfectly legitimate and sincere questions you've asked on Talk Classical. Naming the posters, a plus!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Beethoven's impact on impacts.


----------



## Dim7

Beethoven's impact on impacts impacting other impacts


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Beet's imps on acts


----------



## Pugg

hpowders said:


> There are no dumb questions...only dumb answers.
> 
> Post no. 1: Post the most exasperating answers you have received to perfectly legitimate and sincere questions you've asked on Talk Classical. Naming the posters, a plus!


Isn't that against the rules?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers you thought were gay but weren't


----------



## mstar

Pugg said:


> Isn't that against the rules?


No - the only nomenclature-related TC rule is "Don't call things atonal".


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Parallels between polyphony in the works of Richard Strauss and Talk Classical thread's derailment processes.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

*Which composers should have died earlier?*

Which composers should have died earlier in their lives?

Mendelssohn died in his 39th year, Mozart in his 36th and poor Franz Schubert in his 32nd. Which composer do you wish had died early instead, and which of their monstrous musical aberrations would you have prevented them composing?

You must give only *musical* reasons for your choice.

(Thanks for inspiration to Autocrat!)


----------



## Dim7

Dim7's A la carte poll #2: Which of these things do you like?

*Location
*Distance/proximity
*Rotation
*Compass points (North, East, Southwest etc.)
*Corners
*Appearance (entry)
*There's exactly three things in the list I don't know
*There's exactly two things in the list I don't like


----------



## mstar

Dim7 said:


> Dim7's A la carte poll #2: Which of these things do you like?
> 
> *Locations
> *Distance/proximity
> *Rotation
> *Compass points (North, East, Southwest etc.)
> *Corners
> *Appearance (entry)
> *There's exactly three things in the list I don't know
> *There's exactly two things in the list I don't like


You forgot IRS Form 1040.


----------



## Guest

Poll (or Not):

Is it ever right to express an opinion? (including opinions about opinions)


----------



## kartikeys

Would you love your own son over Mendelssohn?


----------



## Guest

A Thread That Isn't About Schoenberg.

(following on from the unsuccessful attempt with Cage)


----------



## hpowders

Pugg said:


> Isn't that against the rules?


This thread is called *Stupid Thread Ideas.*


----------



## hpowders

The Ultimate TC Challenge: Name the composer hiding among the civilians:

Dickerson, Mendelssohn, Wilkerson, Gunofason.

Post No. 1: The next poster, do the same with four other names.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mendelssohn, Mendel, Mendeleev, Medvedev


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed:

Post No 1: Can anyone tell me which phonebook I can find TC poster, BeethovenLV in? I know he's Swedish, but I can't find the phone number in any Swedish directory.


----------



## Dim7

Leonard Bernstein as a composter


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Mendelssohn, Mendel, Mendeleev, Medvedev


Bartech, Barkeep, BarO'Candy, Mendelssohn.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Leonard Bernstein as a composter


He had the reputation of not wanting to get his hands dirty. Simply the way he conducted business.


----------



## hpowders

Would you like his music as much if his name was Meh-ler instead of Mahler?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> Would you like his music as much if his name was Meh-ler instead of Mahler?


No comment, although I'm sure many would be more interested if his name were Hit-ler.


----------



## Dim7

deleted.............


----------



## SimonNZ

On the benefits of changing the terms "modernist" and "traditionalist" to "crunchy" and "smooth".


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Smitri Dhostakovich


----------



## Pugg

mstar said:


> No - the only nomenclature-related TC rule is "Don't call things atonal".


I think you should read the rules again


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> On the benefits of changing the terms "modernist" and "traditionalist" to "crunchy" and "smooth".


Peanut butter for the ears.


----------



## Guest

What are your favourite works that don't exist?


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> No comment, although I'm sure many would be more interested if his name were Hit-ler.


Oh, as in Wag-ner?
Hehe


----------



## Guest

mstar said:


> Oh, as in Wag-ner?
> Hehe


Would that be Winifred?


----------



## Vaneyes

dogen said:


> What are your favourite works that don't exist?


*Nono*: Electro-transcription for Ernest Angley Last Sermon


----------



## Guest

Vaneyes said:


> *Nono*: Electro-transcription for Ernest Angley Last Sermon


You made me get educated there.


----------



## Guest

The Skiffle Hole.


----------



## mstar

The Secret Life of [Blank]:

Take your pick from the endless list of TC members and try to guess at their mind-blowing life story! Do they have a secret identity? Is there really an underground tonalist conspiracy taking over TC, and are they with or against it? 
And most importantly - if the year is 1984 and Emmanuel Goldstein is Schoenberg, then _who is Big Brother?_


----------



## Dim7

*Doesn't sound like Beethoven and indeed isn't*

Ligeti's Atmospheres doesn't sound like it was composed by Beethoven. Which is not surprising since it was composed by Ligeti, who is not Beethoven. What other pieces neither sound like Beethoven nor were actually composed by him?


----------



## SimonNZ

*Sounds Like Beethoven But Isn't*

How many times have you heard a story about some bad tempered irascible person and you've thought to yourself "sounds like Beethoven", but at the end of the story it turned out to be someone else entirely? Share examples here.


----------



## SimonNZ

Poll:

Beethoven's 'Immortal beloved" was immortal because:

a) vampire
b) werewolf
c) other (please specify)


----------



## Guest

Duplicate post.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Bach was a bunch of asterisks


----------



## arpeggio

If Bach was a ***********

Would Beethoven be a !!!!!!!!!!!!

Schoenberg a ???????????


----------



## TurnaboutVox

SimonNZ said:


> Poll:
> 
> Beethoven's 'Immortal beloved" was immortal because:
> 
> a) vampire
> b) werewolf
> c) other (please specify)


You forgot: zombie / undead


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

arpeggio said:


> If Bach was a ***********
> 
> Would Beethoven be a !!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Schoenberg a ???????????


Haydn would be a .................!!!!!

Cage would be a


----------



## Pugg

Do you think a classical-style composer could be famous today? ¿Why?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are you a classical composer?


----------



## Guest

"All print is propaganda."

Discuss.


----------



## Dim7

Dark pictures to darken your screen


----------



## Balthazar

Which has the greatest influence on the art of TC posting?

A. Testosterone
B. Estrogen
C. Female menopause
D. Male menopause

Discuss with examples.


----------



## Pugg

Balthazar said:


> Which has the greatest influence on the art of TC posting?
> 
> A. Testosterone
> B. Estrogen
> C. Female menopause
> D. Male menopause
> 
> Discuss with examples.


Now that would open a ( family size)can of worms :tiphat:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why wretch is Bached


----------



## Guest

Duplicate post.


----------



## Dim7

Unicate post.


----------



## Pugg

St. Matthew Passion vs. the Mass in B minor


----------



## SimonNZ

Bach's Eva Marie Saint Passion

Bach's Yves Saint Laurent Passion

Bach's The Saint starring Roger Moore Passion

Bach's The Saint starring Val Kilmer Passion


----------



## arpeggio

Answer: Schubert 9, Brahms 4.

Question: What was the final score of the Schubert Brahms game?


----------



## Guest

Poll

Self Ban Vs. Self Immolation


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers that would look good in SS uniforms


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is everyone on TC a Nazi?


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is everyone on TC a Nazi?


Only the Brucknerians.


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is everyone on TC a Nazi?


Only the Wagnerians.


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is everyone on TC a Nazi?


Only the Beethovians.


----------



## Guest

The Secret Life of Roger Moore's Eyebrow.


----------



## Pugg

dogen said:


> Only the Beethovians.


I have another one but that wood open a can of worms with on believe


----------



## znapschatz

What's the difference between a motet?


----------



## Dim7

An amendment ‎to the ToS: Members are allowed to insult each other if they manage to do it in a funny way. Funniness will be evaluated collectively by the moderation team.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Some perfectly ok posts have been deleted.

Members are reminded again that I can do whatever I want <wink>.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> An amendment ‎to the ToS: Members are allowed to insult each other if they manage to do it in a funny way. Funniness will be evaluated collectively by the moderation team.


Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because you're a ****.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers you would physically lust for.


----------



## mstar

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composers you would physically lust for.


That's really disturbing, and - dare I say it - a step too far. :tiphat:
(Considering the vast majority are dead.)


----------



## Dim7

Favorite triad of destroyers


----------



## Dim7

Top 10 Young Mathematicians Who Are Redefining The Value Of X


----------



## Guest

Playground Game:

My Composer Can Beat Your Composer.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

mstar said:


> That's really disturbing, and - dare I say it - a step too far. :tiphat:
> (Considering the vast majority are dead.)


Imagine all the dead ones are alive, then.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Are You A Foreigner? (Non-Americans are objectively foreigners)


----------



## UnauthorizedRosin

"Who would win in a fight: Beethoven or Mozart."


----------



## UnauthorizedRosin

"Best songs for thinking of new recipes of cake"
"What does the modern elephant think of Bach?"


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Are You A Foreigner? (Non-Americans are objectively foreigners)


(Note: within the US, Californians, Texans, and Canadians are obligated to answer affirmatively.)


----------



## Guest

Democracy in action: Boaty McBoatface.


----------



## Kieran

I think the forum would benefit from more threads devoted to people who the OP might know, but nobody else has a clue who they are. Example thread:



> My friend Anna recently went to Vienna to witness Barenboim/Argerich hamming it up on the old Joanna. Your poll choices are:
> 
> 1) Did Anna enjoy herself?
> 2) Who's Anna?
> 3) Is Anna good-looking?
> 4) Is Anna single?
> 5) Who's Baron Bum Aggerisk?
> 6) Who am I?
> 7) All the above


----------



## Guest

Poll:
Comedy child prodigy: Vote for the youngest.


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composers you would physically lust for.


I can't think of any right now; list your top ten and it might prompt me (less Nazis this time).


----------



## Cosmos

dogen said:


> i can't think of any right now; list your top ten and it might prompt me (less nazis this time).


1. M
2. E
3. N
4. D
5. E
6. L
7. S
8. S
9. O
10. H
bonus: N


----------



## SimonNZ

Does the SS in Mendelssohn make him a nazi?


----------



## Vaneyes

16 Abraham Lincoln and 15 James Buchanan were switch-hitters. Is that okay with you?


----------



## SimonNZ

_*gasp!* they played baseball ambidextrously!?_


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Talkclassical trading card game


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> Does the SS in Mendelssohn make him a nazi?


I notice your uppercase NZ.


----------



## Guest

Where do you stand with Hermann Göring?


----------



## Cosmos

Was Bach religious? [god _forbid_]


----------



## Mahlerian

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Talkclassical trading card game


I got the coveted and rarely seen Magle card.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Rare effect cards include:

_a public warning from Magle_: prevents special software attacks from the opponent

_a like from Krummhorn_: immunity for as long as the post remains in the thread

_Ascension_: turns the poster into a mod, a mod into a higher rank, etc ; requires an admin on the thread


----------



## SimonNZ

dogen said:


> I notice your uppercase NZ.


_Interestingly (to me, at least) that's the first time in my 45 years I've seen any joking connection made between "NZ" and "nazi" - it even took me a second to get it just then
_


----------



## Guest

SimonNZ said:


> _Interestingly (to me, at least) that's the first time in my 45 years I've seen any joking connection made between "NZ" and "nazi" - it even took me a second to get it just then
> _


That's the beauty of hiding in plain sight.


----------



## Guest

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Rare effect cards include:
> 
> _a public warning from Magle_: prevents special software attacks from the opponent
> 
> _a like from Krummhorn_: immunity for as long as the post remains in the thread
> 
> _Ascension_: turns the poster into a mod, a mod into a higher rank, etc ; requires an admin on the thread


Worthy of more than a Like.


----------



## Balthazar

*Pet Composers*

Does your pet compose music? This is the place to share.

Alternatively, if you know someone who keeps a composer as a pet, anecdotes are welcome!


----------



## Pugg

Cosmos said:


> Was Bach religious? [god _forbid_]


Like the word joke


----------



## Pugg

Let's make another poll (insert name) .


----------



## Guest

Advice needed.
My brother (previously a jazz-head) has started wearing women's clothes. Should I pre-empt THE embarrassing situation and be upfront with him about me hating opera?


----------



## Dim7

What might be happening in some hypothetical person's life in an alternate universe - Come in and pointlessly speculate!


----------



## Dim7

Expressionists that hate you and express it in their art


----------



## Guest

Poll

etc 

etc etc etc


----------



## SimonNZ

Balthazar said:


> *Pet Composers*
> 
> Does your pet compose music? This is the place to share.
> 
> Alternatively, if you know someone who keeps a composer as a pet, anecdotes are welcome!


Petting Composers

Walk up to a composer and stroke their hair and scratch them behind the ear. What happend next? Did they hiss and scratch you, or did they roll over and offer their tummy for rubs?

next thread:

*Heavy Petting Composers*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

SimonNZ said:


> Petting Composers
> 
> Walk up to a composer and stroke their hair and scratch them behind the ear. What happend next? Did they hiss and scratch you, or did they roll over and offer their tummy for rubs?
> 
> next thread:
> 
> *Heavy Petting Composers*


Don't pet Beethoven, he bites.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Scriabin a polygon?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

More importantly, WAS GLAZUNOV A CIRCLE???


----------



## Dr Johnson

Abandoned shopping carts* of the Great Composers.






*trolleys, if you live in the UK.


----------



## Guest

Poll

How high is the correlation between your posting in a thread and its subsequent closure?


----------



## Guest

Is creativity an elf?


----------



## Dim7

Is consistency a Chaotic Evil level 14 half-elf barbarian/wizard/thief?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Shostakovich a wizard?


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is Shostakovich a wizard?


D'oh...


----------



## Dim7

Are music and sound related at all?


----------



## Cosmos

Webern vs. Beer...who would win in a fight


----------



## Mahlerian

Cosmos said:


> Webern vs. Beer...who would win in a fight


With this crowd, it could be Schoenberg vs. Poison and poison would win.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Cosmos said:


> Webern vs. Beer...who would win in a fight


Errmmm... Webern vs. MEYERBEER, surely?


----------



## Guest

Mahlerian said:


> With this crowd, it could be Schoenberg vs. Poison and poison would win.


You're just Bitter.


----------



## Pugg

Mahlerian said:


> With this crowd, it could be Schoenberg vs. Poison and poison would win.


In the end civilisation will ( win) survive everything and anything


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Cosmos said:


> Webern vs. Beer...who would win in a fight


Look, this is all just Bartók...


----------



## Guest

Polls that cause arousal.


----------



## Balthazar

TurnaboutVox said:


> Look, this is all just Bartók...


Here you are, sir,


----------



## Dim7

If you read STIs aloud to babies, will they become morons when they grow up?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Will listening exclusively to music from a certain composer turn you into that composer?


----------



## Dim7

Obscure works/composers that aren't hated enough


----------



## Pugg

Another poll, lets say a controversial soprano


----------



## Guest

Poll

Where do you stand with middle-aged blokes?


----------



## Pugg

dogen said:


> Poll
> 
> Where do you stand with middle-aged blokes?


Sharp, very sharp


----------



## Balthazar

*Poll: Best Haircut for Social Injustice Warriors*

Choose among this season's hottest styles that will make you look like a billion dollars when you chug Cristal from the bottle while pretending to read _Atlas Shrugged_ for the fourth time.

A. The Classic Ayn Rand (with tasteful brooch)










B. The Ivana (perhaps a bit dated, but then greed is timeless...)










C. The Helmsley Helmet (low-maintenance and mugshot ready)










D. The Honey Badger (when you don't give a ****)

https://saboteur365.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/ugly-***.jpg?w=584


----------



## Pugg

Balthazar said:


> *Poll: Best Haircut for Social Injustice Warriors*
> 
> Choose among this season's hottest styles that will make you look like a billion dollars when you chug Cristal while pretending to read _Atlas Shrugged_ for the fourth time.
> 
> A. The Classic Ayn Rand (with tasteful brooch)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> B. The Ivana (perhaps a bit dated, but then greed is timeless...)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> C. The Helmsley Helmet (low-maintenance and mugshot ready)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> D. The Honey Badger (when you don't give a ****)
> 
> https://saboteur365.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/ugly-***.jpg?w=584


Stop......................I am wetting myself now :lol:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are dead composers better romantic companions than living, breathing spouses?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do Men hate Men?


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do Men hate Men?


Not the gay men I suppose


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Men that you hate.


----------



## Dim7

Expressionists that you ate


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Expressionists that you ate


Do Men hate Expressionists?


----------



## DiesIraeCX

_Variations on a Username by a TC Member, Op. 1_, composed in 2016

Tema: Mahlerian
Variation 1. Mahleroo
Variation 2. Mahlerino
Variation 3. Mahlerweiawaga
Variation 4. Mahlerheehee
Variation 5. Mahlerhaha
Variation 6. Mahleritis
Variation 7: Mahleriferous 
Variation 8. Mahlerastic
Variation 9. Mahlerhoo
Variation 10. Mahlerdocious
Variation 11. Mahlerheiaheiahaaaa...
Variation 12. Mahlerhojotoho
Variation 13. Mahlertoten


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Public bathroom conversations you had


----------



## Xenakiboy

Awkward experiences evangelizing about your favorite composer?:lol:

You- "Hey have you heard [insert piece] by [Composer]? I'm really into them now, check it out!"
Friend - "The one that sounds like random notes hammered on a piano by a cat and a homeless guy? yeah they suck"
You - But Composer is my favorite [Composer]?  (proceeds to never talk to anybody ever again about [composer])


----------



## Dim7

*Favorite vice type*

Do you prefer "lower" type of vices like gluttony, alcoholism, promiscuity and laziness, or "higher" type of vices like ideological fanaticism, stinginess and overintellectualism?


----------



## Kieran

I was horrified to realise that we're all terribly prejudiced against people who have crippled keyboards. For example, persons who spilt tea upon said keyboard, and so forever after were about 8 characters shy of a cogent thought. This insidious form of prejudice is outdated, and needs to stop. So there should be:

*A Thad F Ppl wth Bkn Kybads...*


----------



## Dim7

Kieran said:


> I was horrified to realise that we're all terribly prejudiced against people who have crippled keyboards. For example, persons who spilt tea upon said keyboard, and so forever after were about 8 characters shy of a cogent thought. This insidious form of prejudice is outdated, and needs to stop. So there should be:
> 
> *A Thad F Ppl wth Bkn Kybads...*


Th vwls f m kbrd smtms stp fnctng fr sm rsn.


----------



## Kieran

Dim7 said:


> Th vwls f m kbrd smtms stp fnctng fr sm rsn.


 ddn't als bt thans f shang!


----------



## Pugg

Another poll about the lost tapes from Maria Carey live, in Copenhagen


----------



## arpeggio

Author deleted post. Original too serious for this thread.


----------



## Pugg

arpeggio said:


> Author deleted post. Original too serious for this thread.


This makes my day


----------



## Dim7

Where am I from?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Where am I? 

spacefillertextsergeirachmaninoff


----------



## Xenakiboy

What is an I? And where do me get one?


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Where am I?
> 
> spacefillertextsergeirachmaninoff


Under a rock in Illinois:lol:


----------



## arpeggio

Nice people who think all contemporary music is bad.


----------



## hpowders

Cruel and Inhuman Punishment in Classical Music.

Post No. 1: Seattle Symphony members play classical music for prisoners. No escape.


----------



## Guest

Unable to string two sensible words together? Use ForumTexter Software! It does it all for you; every mouse click generates some random words for you to copy and paste. All you need to do is select the subject and the software does the rest. Look! - one click:

Mildly experimental, considerable focus.


----------



## Pugg

How far can one meddle in another's person's life


----------



## Guest

Pugg said:


> How far can one meddle in another's person's life


You could try marriage.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Every single composer was either a lesbian or a Nazi.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TC Cat Beauty Pageant


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> TC Cat Beauty Pageant


Mine's world champion in the category of Fat n Grumpy.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Same the nong 

15charactersmessagelengthenersergeipergolesi


----------



## Balthazar

*Homely women singing horribly (videos)*


----------



## Dim7

Why don't I hate Scarlatti sonata no. 327 passionately?


----------



## Guest

Random buttocks and appendages that deserve a whole thread to themselves.


----------



## Guest

4'33", atonalism and Hitler.

All together handily in one safe place.


----------



## Balthazar

dogen said:


> 4'33", atonalism and Hitler.
> 
> All together handily in one safe place.


We could title it "*Where's the Kunst?*"


----------



## Xenakiboy

"A detailed analysis of tonality and form in Cages 4'33"


----------



## Pugg

Xenakiboy said:


> "A detailed analysis of tonality and form in Cages 4'33"


Noooooo..............................not again.
Browse trough the old topics, it's closed down more than once due to violations by several posters :devil:


----------



## Guest

Balthazar said:


> We could title it "*Where's the Kunst?*"


And get it closed before it's had chance to get started?!?!


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> 4'33", atonalism and Hitler.
> 
> All together handily in one safe place.


If Hitler starts a speech during 4'33'', would that be considered a part of the piece? If so, wouldn't including a Hitler speech in one of his pieces make John Cage a Nazi? And would the piece be atonal then?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> If Hitler starts a speech during 4'33'', would that be considered a part of the piece? If so, wouldn't including a Hitler speech in one of his pieces make John Cage a Nazi? And would the piece be atonal then?


Maybe we really do need the thread. I'm still not sure about Bal's title though.


----------



## Guest

Poll.

Blanket vs Wrought-iron Gate.


----------



## kartikeys

If you were Beethoven's neighbour, would you 
love him still?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> Noooooo..............................not again.
> Browse trough the old topics, it's closed down more than once due to violations by several posters :devil:


It's in C# minor with modulations to G# major. it's in sonata form. Let's argue


----------



## Pugg

Xenakiboy said:


> It's in C# minor with modulations to G# major. it's in sonata form. Let's argue


Okay, you ask for it 

http://www.talkclassical.com/36315-why-433-disparaged-while.html?highlight=Cages+4'33&quot;


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> Okay, you ask for it
> 
> http://www.talkclassical.com/36315-why-433-disparaged-while.html?highlight=Cages+4'33&quot;


 Oh Pugg


----------



## Dim7

Why are some things something and other things something else?


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> Why are some things something and other things something else?


Let's make a poll.:lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

A poll called "Is this poll a good idea" with the options being:

A - Yes
B - No
C - Maybe
D - I don't know


----------



## Balthazar

Or more accurately...

*Is This Poll a Good Idea?*

A.Yes, the greatest idea ever!

B. Yes, it's super great.

C. Yes, it's really great.

D. It's kind of great.

E. Don't know enough to decide.

F. Who cares?


----------



## Pugg

Balthazar said:


> Or more accurately...
> 
> *Is This Poll a Good Idea?*
> 
> A.Yes, the greatest idea ever!
> 
> B. Yes, it's super great.
> 
> C. Yes, it's really great.
> 
> D. It's kind of great.
> 
> E. Don't know enough to decide.
> 
> F. Who cares?


We had one like that, ended almost in a bloodbath:lol:


----------



## Guest

Pugg said:


> We had one like that, ended almost in a bloodbath:lol:


Maybe next time.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was every composer gay?


----------



## Guest

Why don't I like my post-desert island pre-funeral music?


----------



## Pugg

dogen said:


> Why don't I like my post-desert island pre-funeral music?


Who cares, you never going to hear it anyway


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is J. S. Bach watching me??!?!?!


----------



## aleazk

Music for your embalmment process.


----------



## Blancrocher

What Composers Earned (After Taxes)


----------



## Dim7

*Very normal and harmonious music*

I remember hearing a piece, don't remember where and when, and it was very orthodox and probably had triads or something. Any idea what it might have been?


----------



## Dim7

Your pre-dessert music?


----------



## Pugg

What's your favourite dessert ?


----------



## Dim7

*Latest thefts*

Post what you have stolen recently or plan to steal in the future, also where you stole it etc.


----------



## arpeggio

Does a person who owns fifty sets of the complete symphonies of Beethoven know more about Beethoven than a person who only owns one set?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Which would win in a fight between 50 Beethoven symphony cycles and 50 Maria Callas remastered box sets?


----------



## Vaneyes

aleazk said:


> Music for your embalmment process.


Or cremation.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

I have an overwhelming urge to punch Mozart - is this normal?


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> I have an overwhelming urge to punch Mozart - is this normal?


If you feel like it, just do it:angel:


----------



## Dim7

*What are you right now?*

I am currently some kind of octopus/chinchilla hybrid.


----------



## aleazk

Composer who was the worst at aleatoric methods


----------



## aleazk

Meanwhile, in the chemistry forum:

Was Alexander Borodin A Capable Chemist?


----------



## Dim7

Aleatoric posting methods


----------



## arpeggio

^^^^
I love them. Trying to thank of an appropriate response to the source threads. You nailed it!!!


----------



## Guest

Microwave Talk.


----------



## Guest

What are you regurgitating?


----------



## Dim7

If you could only have seven billion Clementini symphony cycles....


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What type of mushroom was Schubert?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mendelssohn was, in fact, a stamp.


----------



## arpeggio

Honegger _Pacific 213_, the most moving work I am familiar with.


----------



## Pugg

WE really do need another poll, never mind the subject.


----------



## arpeggio

We have the north pole and the south pole.

If we had a third pole where would we put it and would it mess up the tides.


----------



## Pugg

Sharp, very sharp :tiphat:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are schuberts edible?


----------



## Guest

What are your favourite Bach Remedies and Partitas?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

The Wedding March is the national hymn of the Mendelssohn Republic. (*)

*Also known as the Fascist Democratic Schmemocratic Anti-Trump Republic of Mendelssohn


----------



## Dim7

Movies featuring themselves


----------



## Dim7

Warum ich nichten lichten das Diel?


----------



## clavichorder

How many STI's have you had?

(has that EXACT idea been put forth here yet?)


----------



## clavichorder

aleazk said:


> Composer who was the worst at aleatoric methods


That could in fact be a legitimate question, and I'm sure we'd have one or two people who felt they knew the answer.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

I have never seen so many stupid ideas in one thread before.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

If a bassoon plays in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, is Mozart better than Beethoven?


----------



## Pugg

Unfair Reviews:lol:


----------



## Dim7

Decapitate the above poster for liking the wrong kind of music


----------



## Dr Johnson

What about just sticking a sword in the top of their head?


----------



## arpeggio

I have five copies of Bernstein's 1970 recording of him conducting Mahler's _Fifth_ with the New York Philharmonic. Which one is my favorite?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

arpeggio said:


> I have five copies of Bernstein's 1970 recording of him conducting Mahler's _Fifth_ with the New York Philharmonic. Which one is my favorite?


I do in fact have 3 copies of Beethoven's Op. 127 and 135 quartets by the Quartetto Italiano, due to certain "inefficiencies" in my CD collecting practices, to whit, I may not have remembered exactly what I already own when ordering on-line. Sheesh, no-one's perfect.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> I do in fact have 3 copies of Beethoven's Op. 127 and 135 quartets by the Quartetto Italiano, due to certain "inefficiencies" in my CD collecting practices, to whit, I may not have remembered exactly what I already own when ordering on-line. Sheesh, no-one's perfect.


In future do your ordering BEFORE you crack open the pop.


----------



## Pugg

Are all ballet dancers gay?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Probably something for a certain group but a thread called "Wrong composition" where you mistake a piece for something else.
e.g. You know Beethoven - Fur Elise, the one that goes da da da daaa.... Da da da daaaa....


----------



## TurnaboutVox

I think we could support a thread where people mistake cellphone ringtones, music from adverts, ditties from games consoles and muzak in lifts / elevators for classical compositions.

It could be called "But it's got a _violin!_"


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

How can I enjoy Wagner if I don't like loud shouting in German?


----------



## Pugg

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> How can I enjoy Wagner if I don't like loud shouting in German?


Try the Ring in English.


----------



## Dim7

A thread *where* we randomly emphasize words *for* no good..... _reason_.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Pugg said:


> Try the Ring in English.


Brilliant idea. Incidentally, I've wondered once or twice how accurate a translation can be, knowing that it must(I would assume) preserve the rhythmic structure of the original text.


----------



## Dim7

I like loud shouting in German but not opera. Any listening recommendations?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Dim7 said:


> I like loud shouting in German but not opera. Any listening recommendations?


This is the original recording in mono. Decent sound for its age.


----------



## Dim7

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> This is the original recording in mono. Decent sound for its age.


Wow thanks, I didn't know symphonic black metal existed back then.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Am I actually alive?!


----------



## arpeggio

Why I do not like people who do not like Beethoven.


----------



## Guest

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Am I actually alive?!


A very profound question.

Perhaps a poll?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Am I actually alive?!


This has been puzzling me for centuries, well are you???


----------



## Xenakiboy

Schoenberg is still alive conspiracy thread


----------



## Sloe

TurnaboutVox said:


> I think we could support a thread where people mistake cellphone ringtones, music from adverts, ditties from games consoles and muzak in lifts / elevators for classical compositions.
> 
> It could be called "But it's got a _violin!_"


Classical music can be used for all these things.


----------



## Dim7

I need some misguidance.


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Am I actually alive?!


Now we're getting worried about you.


----------



## Xenakiboy

dogen said:


> A very profound question.
> 
> Perhaps a poll?


Poll results: (drumroll please)

50% say yes
and
50% say no


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TurnaboutVox said:


> I think we could support a thread where people mistake cellphone ringtones, music from adverts, ditties from games consoles and muzak in lifts / elevators for classical compositions.
> 
> It could be called "But it's got a _violin!_"





Sloe said:


> Classical music can be used for all these things.


Current Listening to cellphone ringtones and elevator muzak that might or might not be classical music, Vol III


----------



## SimonNZ

The Chicken Dance vs. The Hokey-Pokey

What Character From Lord Of The Flies Are You?

What Character From Waiting For Godot Are You?


----------



## SimonNZ

Happy Birthday vs. Merry Christmas


----------



## Guest

Should opera houses be burned down? - and if so, in what order?


----------



## Dim7

Should opera houses spontaneously combust?


----------



## SimonNZ

Boulez Responds To The Misquoting Of His Statements:

"What I was saying was that as the glorious Divina is no longer among us but has assuredly ascended to the highest circle of heaven, and as there is obviously no singer (now as ever) worthy of performing a role or walking a stage she once touched...then we should burn all the opera houses down. In her honour."


----------



## Blancrocher

The Taking Obvious Trolling Seriously Hall of Shame


----------



## Pugg

Symphony no 4


----------



## Balthazar

*Myrmecology, Mountaineering, and the Great Composers*


----------



## Dim7

Neononclassical music


----------



## Dim7

What are you doing wrong now?


----------



## Dim7

Singers who look suspiciously like themselves...


----------



## Xenakiboy

How do I listen to my stereo?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Poll: Do you consider Beethoven music or just sound art?


----------



## Dim7

*Bump thread*

A thread in which we shall not discuss anything, but only bump it pointlessly over and over again.


----------



## Dim7

What sort of criminal are you?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Which composer would you assassinate?


----------



## aleazk

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Which composer would you assassinate?


Many of them. Unfortunately, they are already dead.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Thread in which you impersonate a TC member and the next poster must guess who you're pretending to be.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Beethoven menstruated


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Beethoven menstruated


This is grose :lol:


----------



## Dim7

*Genders people hate but songs they like.*

Personally I hate these genders: cisgendered male, female-to-eunuch transgendered, non-genderqueer hermaphrodite, but I like "Old MacDonald Had a Farm".


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> *Genders people hate but songs they like.*
> 
> Personally I hate these genders: cisgendered male, female-to-eunuch transgendered, non-genderqueer hermaphrodite, but I like "Old MacDonald Had a Farm".


Hiya hiya ho :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Cowardly middle and low range voices


----------



## Xenakiboy

Beet's symphony no 9 vs Cage's 4'33? 


.....with a poll!!!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Bach fat? 

15characters space filler alexander borodin


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Beethoven _heterosexual?!!?_


----------



## Xenakiboy

Was György Ligeti really the first man on the moon?


----------



## Dim7

Mundane anecdotes and ordinary news


----------



## Guest

you CAN enjoy Mozart


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

The Banane Assoluta


----------



## Xenakiboy

Stupid thread ideas?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Opera repertoire vs Vocal repertoire of Rhacophorus helenae


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Poll:* Am I a kid or a squid?


----------



## Balthazar

Music to Brexit to.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Why don't I like measure 34 in Mozart's Symphony 39, 1st movement?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How dank are my memes?


----------



## Guest

Boris and Donald.


----------



## Guest

Donald and Thinking.


----------



## Guest

Which banned Friends have you got on Ignore?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Have I actually been banned from TC but didn't realize it?


----------



## Guest

Why do I like flagellation?


----------



## Dim7

Why don't I like copulating head lice?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Is your avatar demonstrating a mediaeval cure for headlice, Dim7?


NB This post is going to look even more stupid the next time you change your avatar.


----------



## Mahlerian

TurnaboutVox said:


> Is your avatar demonstrating a mediaeval cure for headlice, Dim7?
> 
> NB This post is going to look even more stupid the next time you change your avatar.


Your making the post will likely make him change it sooner, so that people actually see this.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Mahlerian said:


> Your making the post will likely make him change it sooner, so that people actually see this.


Oh, I don't know, he's quite fond of the old sword-in-the-head thing.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Why don't I like copulating head lice?


I did not think this was the case. Have you changed your position?


----------



## Dr Johnson

With head lice the positions are necessarily limited.


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> With head lice the positions are necessarily limited.


Well, you're the expert.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Did Beethoven really have head lice?


----------



## Pugg

Do you actuality listen to music instead of blabbing about it?
Let's start a poll


----------



## Meyerbeer Smith

Is Beethoven's music better if you're deaf?


----------



## Pugg

SimonTemplar said:


> Is Beethoven's music better if you're deaf?


That's a naughty one . :lol:


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> Well, you're the expert.


Only because you got bored with them.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Cafe Bartok

Only topics allowed are: beverages, desserts, and Eastern Europe.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Cafe Bartok
> 
> Only topics allowed are: beverages, desserts, and Eastern Europe.


A Bartok Cafe belongs in the Brilliant business decisions thread, right here:
http://www.talkclassical.com/101pagenotfound.html/


----------



## Dim7

Ungrowled villains not enough death metal about them


----------



## Guest

Just how long did Beethoven wear the same underwear? (In the movie _Immortal Beloved_, he allowed his nephew Karl to go 30 days without changing!)


----------



## Barbebleu

If this has already been touched on I apologise. The most stupid thread ideas are the ones where people start with "Why don't I like ...........".

Who knows, who cares? It's as bad as my wife walking into the house after having been out and her first question is "What am I smelling?" How in the name of Catherine Zeta Jones am I supposed to know what the blue blazes she is smelling. Then I get pelters for not being able to answer! Oy vey!


----------



## Dim7

Barbebleu said:


> If this has already been touched on I apologise. The most stupid thread ideas are the ones where people start with "Why don't I like ...........".
> 
> Who knows, who cares? It's as bad as my wife walking into the house after having been out and her first question is "What am I smelling?" How in the name of Catherine Zeta Jones am I supposed to know what the blue blazes she is smelling. Then I get pelters for not being able to answer! Oy vey!


Well we have previously discussed about criticizing directly actual threads as stupid in this thread and we have generally agreed that this thread is not about that. Of course when a thread is parodied here, there may or may not be implied criticism there, but the main point is supposed to be humor.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why don't I like polls?


----------



## Mahlerian

Xenakiboy said:


> Why don't I like polls?


What options are you giving us? I want to know!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why don't I like people who do or don't like Beethoven's music and his haircut?


----------



## Guest

In view of the Euro 2016 football tournament, compare and contrast the following two melodies, the first by football fans singing a melody by the band White Stripes, and the second, the main theme in the first movement of Bruckner's 5th Symphony:
a) Football fans mass chanting: *



*b) Bruckner's Linz bovver-boy chorale: *



*


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Barbebleu said:


> If this has already been touched on I apologise. The most stupid thread ideas are the ones where people start with "Why don't I like ...........".
> 
> [...]...Oy vey!


Ahem... You mean like the one I started?


----------



## SimonNZ

Xenakiboy said:


> Why don't I like polls?


Meh. Just vote anyway if you're confused, overwhelmed or misinformed about the questions. You can always Google "What is Classical Music?" or "Who is Mozart?" later and no-one will know.


----------



## Xenakiboy

SimonNZ said:


> Meh. Just vote anyway if you're confused, overwhelmed or misinformed about the questions. You can always Google "What is Classical Music?" or "Who is Mozart?" later and no-one will know.


Who is classical music? What is a Mozart? :lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why don't I look like Beethoven?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Who's your favorite Beethoven nephew?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why hasn't Ludwig van Beethoven accepted my friend request on Facebook?


----------



## Dim7

TurnaboutVox said:


> Mahlerian said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TurnaboutVox said:
> 
> 
> 
> Is your avatar demonstrating a mediaeval cure for headlice, Dim7?
> 
> NB This post is going to look even more stupid the next time you change your avatar.
> 
> 
> 
> Your making the post will likely make him change it sooner, so that people actually see this.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Oh, I don't know, he's quite fond of the old sword-in-the-head thing.
Click to expand...

The Talk Classical folk is happy in the knowledge that the constantly changing avatars have been replaced by a fixed sword in the head!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why doesn't Beethoven keep playing after I feed him his biscuits? 

It's frustrating and he said hasn't finished that symphony. He's a hard pet human to deal with :scold:


----------



## Dim7

Do You Own Slaves?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Dim7 said:


> Do You Own Slaves?


Do you want to make a poll of that question?


----------



## Guest

Poll.

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."
- Was Bertrand Russell right?

∆ Yes definitely
∆ Yes definitely but not as right as being very right
∆ No definitely
∆ No definitely but not as wrong as other definites
∆ I definitely cannot think for myself


----------



## Dim7

A thread where we call each others by cutesy nicknames


----------



## Pugg

dogen said:


> Poll.
> 
> "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."
> - Was Bertrand Russell right?
> 
> ∆ Yes definitely
> ∆ Yes definitely but not as right as being very right
> ∆ No definitely
> ∆ No definitely but not as wrong as other definites
> ∆ I definitely cannot think for myself


You are a genius. :tiphat:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why do I like Mendelssohn?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> A thread where we call each others by cutesy nicknames


Good day to you, Dimmy!


----------



## aleazk

Ancient aliens and composers


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why don't I like Beethoven's new product line of "Eroica Ketchup"?

Seeing Beethoven fashion style on the cover compelled me but when I put it with chips, it tasted disgusting! :scold: I don't know what Ludwig Van thinks he's doing but if he keeps making investments like this, he will go bankrupt within a matter of weeks.


----------



## Xenakiboy

> Don't get me started on Beethoven's inappropriate "moonlight clothing line"


This ..........


----------



## Dim7

Demystifying TC members' passwords


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Demystifying TC members' passwords


You mean "12345" _isn't_ the height of security?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> Demystifying TC members' passwords


You may pass these to me immediately, please, do you hear me?

Yours sincerely

Dr.Mrs. Gift Brown, OBE, Star of Merit (Freedonia), M.D.(almost)

PS I will take any spare US Currency that you have also. No Sterling, please, it is finish.


----------



## Pugg

TurnaboutVox said:


> You may pass these to me immediately, please, do you hear me?
> 
> Yours sincerely
> 
> Dr.Mrs. Gift Brown, OBE, Star of Merit (Freedonia), M.D.(almost)
> 
> PS I will take any spare US Currency that you have also. No Sterling, please, it is finish.


I only have Euros , does that suit you also......


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why don't I hate Beethoven's opinion on his haircut?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Taking this mocking of why don't I ? Beethoven threads:

Why Don't I Like People Who Like Beethoven?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why doesn't Beethoven like me? </3


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why doesn't Beethoven like me? </3


Do you use the phrase " duh duh duh duuuuhhhh" to flirt with him? he's sensitive about that..


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Pugg said:


> I only have Euros , does that suit you also......


Yes, yes, Euros will be fine, whatever you have. Now this is what you must do, send me 2000 Euros immediately. 
What is the delay? Already you have kept me waiting one day! Do not do this rude thing and be sure to send the money straight away. Or I cannot release your $ 8,000,000 lottery win!


----------



## Dim7

Opera without warts


----------



## Badinerie

607 pages of stupid thread ideas. How many posters have read them all.....?


----------



## Dim7

Badinerie said:


> 607 pages of stupid thread ideas. How many posters have read them all.....?


At least one.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> At least one.


1,211 of the posts you don't need to read.


----------



## Pugg

exiting pieces by Xenasis


----------



## Xenakiboy

Beet's Symphony no 9 vs 4'33


----------



## Dim7

Five Thousand Billion Things You Don't Feel One Way Or The Other About Talk Classical


----------



## Rosie

Aww this thread is cute!


----------



## Dim7

Patriotic Russian Nongay Thread Ideas


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Patriotic Russian Nongay Thread Ideas


You don't need to say nongay, it's enough to just say Russian.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> You don't need to say nongay, it's enough to just say Russian.


yes but because of western gay multicult propaganda some idiots might not understand that russia doesnt have gays tchaikovsky was a nongay genius it must be told over and over again or else they dont understand.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Discuss your baggage.


----------



## Guest

Empty your suitcases.


----------



## Guest

Three things you despise about dogen.


----------



## Dim7

Three rabbits you like about bananas


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> Empty your suitcases.


But be careful where you do it.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> Three things you despise about dogen.


1) You've scratched all the furniture and the back door.

2) You leave fur everywhere you've slept.

3) I keep having to clear up your empties.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> 1) You've scratched all the furniture and the back door.
> 
> 2) You leave fur everywhere you've slept.
> 
> 3) I keep having to clear up your empties.


Are you not confusing me with Arthur? Is he a hophead or a twigtippler?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

dogen said:


> Are you not confusing me with Arthur? Is he a hophead or a twigtippler?


Maybe, I've lost my glasses. He's a Whiskashead.


----------



## Guest

Poll: All you want to know about cloches.


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> Maybe, I've lost my glasses. He's a Whiskashead.


Ah. Felix household here. And butter.


----------



## Xenakiboy

dogen said:


> Three things you like about dogen.


1 Always surprising me in a good way
2 Always an interesting poster


----------



## Xenakiboy

Felix Household is a better composer that Louis Bighands and Herbit Toothbrush :tiphat:


----------



## Kieran

*Name Twelve Pieces of Music Which You Think Would be Improved if They Had Never Been Written At All...*


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Xenakiboy said:


> Felix Household is a better composer that Louis Bighands and Herbit Toothbrush :tiphat:


Felix Haushalts, to give him his proper German name.

Andy Butter, a Lancastrian, was no slouch either.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Kieran said:


> *Name Twelve Pieces of Music Which You Think Would be Improved if They Had Never Been Written At All...*


4'33?  ......................


----------



## Kieran

Xenakiboy said:


> 4'33?  ......................


The beauty of this one being that it wasn't written :lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

Kieran said:


> The beauty of this one being that it wasn't written :lol:


We're almost getting into paradoxical territory now :lol:


----------



## Pugg

Kieran said:


> *Name Twelve Pieces of Music Which You Think Would be Improved if They Had Never Been Written At All...*


Only twelve? let's do a poll first . :lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

Composers whose masterpieces where written by other composers


----------



## Xenakiboy

Naming composers after their most famous work


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> Naming composers after their most famous work


Felix Midsummer Wedding March


----------



## Dim7

Why did Ravel name the last movement of his Sonatine "Anime"? Was he a weeaboo?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Dim7 said:


> Why did Ravel name the last movement of his Sonatine "Anime"? Was he a weeaboo?


I admit I've thought a similar thing, damn it Ravel


----------



## Dim7

Lawn mowers that are romantic?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Composers who look suspiciously like other composers


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Last TC member you ate.


----------



## Balthazar

*boring threads about Mr. Mozart*


----------



## Xenakiboy

Classical Composers that ripped off pop songs


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

What is harder to play: piano with your feet or guitar with your elbows?


----------



## arpeggio

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> What is harder to play: piano with your feet or guitar with your elbows?


Organ with your Johnson.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

arpeggio said:


> Organ with your Johnson.


Bah, not hard at all.


----------



## Balthazar

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Bah, not hard at all.


Then you certainly won't be making much progress.


----------



## OldFashionedGirl

Why I don't like Schoenberg?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Balthazar said:


> Then you certainly won't be making much progress.


I'll be playing it softly.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

The Strange Magic of: Poop


----------



## Dr Johnson

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> I'll be playing it *softly.*


Difficult to hold a key down like that, I'd have thought.


----------



## Xenakiboy

OldFashionedGirl said:


> Why I don't like Schoenberg?


That should be taken exactly the same way as that Beetsy thread


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why don't I like other threads than this one?


----------



## Pugg

OldFashionedGirl said:


> Why I don't like Schoenberg?


hallelujah:angel:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why am I Schoenberg?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is Talkclassical really a great composer? (poll)


----------



## Pugg

Xenakiboy said:


> Is Talkclassical really a great composer? (poll)


You seem to enjoy yourself quit well .


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Dr Johnson said:


> Difficult to hold a key down like that, I'd have thought.


Staccato touch.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

What is Schoenberg?


----------



## Dim7

Funny correct readings


----------



## Pugg

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> What is Schoenberg?


Shoe pol....ish


----------



## Xenakiboy

Stupid Thread Ideas vs Why Don't I Like?!


----------



## Donata

Would the perfect breakfast for classical music lovers consist of Children's Chewable Composers, with the four fun shapes and fruity goodness of Berry Beethoven, Wild Melon Mozart, Strawberry Shostakovich, and Sour Cherry Chopin paired with a bowl of Honey Nut Berlioz? Part of a balanced breakfast indeed!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Am I Schoenberg because I have failed to become the Mendelssohn?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What does Schoenberg taste like?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Spontaneously Combusting Schoenberg


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is Mendelssohn gluten-free?


----------



## Dim7

Gluten-Free Thread Ideas


----------



## Dr Johnson

Idea-Free Thread Ideas.


----------



## Pugg

Did ( insert name) have a borderline personalty


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Your favorite Dada artist?

*Hugo Ball
*Emmy Hennings 
*Hans Arp 
*Raoul Hausmann
*Google Translate


----------



## Guest

Poll.

[O] Meh


----------



## Xenakiboy

Did Schoenberg invent the major scale?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Are you Mendelssohn?*

I want to see how many people are Mendelssohn.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> *Are you Mendelssohn?*
> 
> I want to see how many people are Mendelssohn.


I'm Mendelssohn sometimes, mainly when I get frustrated. But when I get *REALLY frustrated*, I'm Beethoven.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Am I music? ????????


----------



## Pugg

Xenakiboy said:


> Am I music? ????????


Prove it with a epic piece


----------



## aleazk

I'm just a distributional-sense solution to the equation of life?


----------



## Pugg

How long are your toes?


----------



## aleazk

A fraction of a feet


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> Prove it with a epic piece


Why am I music?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why don't I like music?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Are you music? I'm directing this at Ms Lincoln


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Mendelssohn music?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is Mendelssohn music?


Is music you? I need to know


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Am I a concert hall?*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers that would make the best husbands/wives


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why is my girlfriend obsessed with Serialism?*
Also
*Best Stockhausen piece for a first date?*


----------



## OldFashionedGirl

The Strange Magic of: Justin Bieber.


----------



## Pugg

OldFashionedGirl said:


> The Strange Magic of: Justin Bieber.


I wet myself now .


----------



## Dim7

Is having a sword pierced through your head harmful? What do you do about it?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Is having a sword pierced through your head harmful? What do you do about it?


You need to become Mendelssohn.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Dim7 said:


> Is having a sword pierced through your head harmful? What do you do about it?


No it's not and you desperately need to go back to that avatar, it's your signature now!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> I wet myself now .


Whatever that emoji is, it's not of this world


----------



## Dim7

Xenakiboy said:


> No it's not and you desperately need to go back to that avatar, it's your signature now!


This has a sword piercing through a head as well and is also more classical themed.


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why aren't more composers arrested? *


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What is "composer"?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is Mozart's blood orange?


----------



## Xenakiboy

If you had the choice, would you rather date Felix or Fanny?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Xenakiboy said:


> If you had the choice, would you rather date Felix or Fanny?


Assuming you're not already Felix...


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Top 10 Psychiatric Institutions For Composers*

(at least in the way the general public see classical Composers)


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> Assuming you're not already Felix...


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


>


So you're definitely Mendelssohn???


----------



## Dim7

New forum feature: anti-social groups


----------



## Xenakiboy

Top 10 Break-ups Between Famous Composers


----------



## Xenakiboy

What does your favourite composer eat for breakfast?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> Top 10 Break-ups Between Famous Composers


Samuel Barber and Gian Carlo Menotti.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> What does your favourite composer eat for breakfast?


The souls of the damned.


----------



## Balthazar

*Poll: Choose One*

A. Geordie Shore

B. The Only Way is Essex


----------



## arpeggio

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Samuel Barber and Gian Carlo Menotti.


Rats!!!! You beat me to it.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> The souls of the damned.


Tastes good with milk!


----------



## arpeggio

How come members who proclaim that we should be more tolerant are among the most intolerant and opinionated members?


----------



## arpeggio

If I have fifty recordings of Beethoven's _Fifth_, why would I need fifty-one?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Comparing composers with their top 10 Break-ups


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Top 10 fashion icons that stole Beethoven's hairstyle*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Contemporary composers that use memes as promotion*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What would you do if you were Mendelssohn?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> What would you do if you were Mendelssohn?


What do you do Felix???? (unless you're Fanny today...)


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Are Beethoven and Mendelssohn the same person?*


----------



## Pugg

Stupid ideas thread volume 2


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Dancing to stupid ideas thread volume 2.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stupidest Stupid Thread Idea Championships.

Vote for the stupidest. May the stupidest idea win!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Did Wagner have Borderline Wagner Disorder?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Wagner a kind of mental disorder?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Are tonality and atonality ex-lovers? *


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is Beethoven a Wagner disorder?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why do I like Mendelssohn's Symphony no 5? The one that goes duh duh duh duuuuhhhhhhhhh, duh duh duh duuuuhhhhhhhhh


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why don't I like when people physically assault me?
Why don't I like being in debt with the government?
Why don't I like Beethoven's account balance?
Why don't I like Mozart's affairs?
Why don't I like posts that start with 'why don't I like'?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why didn't Ludwig Beethoven and Fanny Mendelssohn's relationship last long?*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> *Why didn't Ludwig Beethoven and Fanny Mendelssohn's relationship last long?*


Let's just say that nobody likes it when their siblings date their crush.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Most annoying and intolerable TC member*

I can name one very annoying one. A certain Abraham, who never makes useful contributions to threads whatsoever and soils the name of one of the greatest presidents in US history.


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> *Most annoying and intolerable TC member*
> 
> I can name one very annoying one. A certain Abraham, who never makes useful contributions to threads whatsoever and soils the name of one of the greatest presidents in US history.


We can do a poll about that .:lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> *Most annoying and intolerable TC member*
> 
> I can name one very annoying one. A certain Abraham, who never makes useful contributions to threads whatsoever and soils the name of one of the greatest presidents in US history.


Your a legend, either way you look at at Lincoln :tiphat:


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why do I hate been knocked in the face with a 20 foot poll?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Are Polls Dangerous?*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why do I hate being pushed off Tall buildings? *


----------



## Xenakiboy

What are you growing?

Sorry man but are you like the police waiting for someone to say they're growing illegal drugs? :lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Is Beethoven atonal?* Please day yes!!!!!!


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Did Mendelssohn compose The Ring Cycle?*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Did Mendelssohn invent the Tesla coil?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Your favorite symphony by George Washington


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why don't I like George Washington's Symphony cycle? 
*
Especially his 11th, it's garbage


----------



## Xenakiboy

Was Mendelssohn a president of the USA?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> *Why don't I like George Washington's Symphony cycle?
> *
> Especially his 11th, it's garbage


I loved the Revolutionary symphony though. 'MURICA!!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> I loved the Revolutionary symphony though. 'MURICA!!


I think Washington's operas where far more notable, though some of them where way to patriotic.
His 9th Symphony has that famous 'ode to Joy (Washington)' finale, which is one of his most famous.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Top 10 most attractive female composers:

1. Johann Sebastian Bach
2. Johann Sebastian Bach
3. Johann Sebastian Bach
4. Johann Sebastian Bach
5. Johann Sebastian Bach
6. Johann Sebastian Bach
7. Johann Sebastian Bach
8. Johann Sebastian Bach
9. Johann Sebastian Bach
10. Johann Sebastian Bach
Bonus: Fanny Hensel


----------



## Mahlerian

Xenakiboy said:


> *Is Beethoven atonal?* Please day yes!!!!!!


No more or less than Schoenberg is.


----------



## Pugg

Mahlerian said:


> No more or less than Schoenberg is.


This screams ; ...........Poll


----------



## Mahlerian

Pugg said:


> This screams ; ...........Poll


Please no. We don't leave science to a popular vote (thankfully), why should we leave musicological terminology to a show of support?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Would Beethoven Support Nazis?*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Would Beethoven Approve Of Polls?*


----------



## Xenakiboy

Would Beethoven Control His Temper While Playing Flappy Bird?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is 'atonal' music banned in countries?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Underssohn mendelrated?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is Underssohn mendelrated?


I wonder if Beethoeman is mendelrated???


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why did Einstein rip off Varese? *


----------



## Xenakiboy

*I'm The Eighth Reincarnation Of Scriabin, Here's Why:*


----------



## Xenakiboy

Are music and science still going out or did they break up?


----------



## Pugg

Are you in drugs?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> Are you in drugs?


Is drugs on Pugg?


----------



## Xenakiboy

What activity did Mendelssohn occupy himself with during midsummer nights?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> What activity did Mendelssohn occupy himself with during midsummer nights?


He was dreaming.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How do I break it to Mendelssohn that J. S. Bach is pregnant?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How do I break it to Mendelssohn that J. S. Bach is pregnant?


Tell him of the prophecy that one of his descendents will be St Alexander Scriabin the 1st, the saviour who will bring balance to the forces of tonality and atonality.


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Is Erik Satie still in the matrix?*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> Tell him of the prophecy that one of his descendents will be St Alexander Scriabin the 1st, the saviour who will bring balance to the forces of tonality and atonality.


Well, that's a lot kinder than "Damn it Felix, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY."


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is 4'33 Atonal?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is Felix Mendelssohn growing a moustache?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Felix Mendelssohn a moustache?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is Felix Mendelssohn a moustache?


Is A Midsummer Nights Dream A Grey Hair?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Where Does Mendelssohn Fit???


----------



## Xenakiboy

Are 'Mendelssohn's Moustache' an overated band?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Is 4'33 Mendelssohn's Greatest Work?* Poll


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Did Xenakiboy contract my Mendelssohnitis?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Did Xenakiboy contract my Mendelssohnitis?


I'd prefer to stay home than to go out and watch A Stochastic Nights Dream


----------



## Dim7

*Study: language may be socially constructed*

A group of researchers found an African tribe that had never had any contact with civilization. These people couldn't understand the researchers' languages while talking in a language incomprehensible to outsiders amongst themselves. The study strongly suggests that words do not have an objective inherent meaning and that different cultures may use different words for the same thng.


----------



## Dim7

A new introductions subforum for new members who want an unwelcoming reception


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Can Music Be Enjoyed?*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why Do I Hate The Tonic?*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mendeleev vs Mendel


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is Wagner a kind of mental disorder?


"Is Wagner a human being at all? Is he not rather a disease? He contaminates everything he touches - he has made music sick." -Friedrich Nietzsche


----------



## Xenakiboy

Do you enjoy being hit really hard in the face with a long poll?


----------



## Pugg

Do you enjoy being being kissed very long .


----------



## Mahlerian

Redefine everything to match your lack of knowledge:

Bach's Prelude No. 1 in the Well-Tempered Clavier is really in B major, because that's the way it sounds on my recording.


----------



## millionrainbows

I'm listening now to some hitherto-undiscovered early songs of Berg, which he wrote while a cabaret piano player. They are called "Seven Early Thongs."


----------



## millionrainbows

Mahlerian said:


> Redefine everything to match your lack of knowledge:
> 
> Bach's Prelude No. 1 in the Well-Tempered Clavier is really in B major, because that's the way it sounds on my recording.


Redefine everything to match your tendency to hear everything, including 12-tone Schoenberg, as "tonal:"

Bach's Sinfonia Nr. 9 in F minor is really the first 12-tone composition, since it uses all 12 notes and sounds tonal.


----------



## millionrainbows

I haven't been stupid in a long time! This is very refreshing...


----------



## millionrainbows

Have you noticed…our stupidity is not editable! Once you are stupid, you are stupid forever!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Wagner really just Mendelssohn wearing a beret?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is Mendelssohn?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Mozart Is Atonal So I Don't Like Mozart*


----------



## Balthazar

*I Don't Like Mozart So Mozart Is Atonal*

(But I'll pretend to like him if I find it expedient.)


----------



## Xenakiboy

*What does Tonality mean if we have Atonality, Hetrotonality, Bi-tonality, Homotonality and Transtonality??* Is this some kind of joke the early 20th century tried to pull on us?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why Can't I Like Comments On Old Youtube Videos?*


----------



## Balthazar

My favorite composer can beat up your favorite composer.

*yawn*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*A Thread Where People Pointlessly Argue And Get Offended About Beethoven!*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Did Ludwig Van Beethoven Murder Fanny Hensel?*


----------



## OldFashionedGirl

How I become Mendelssohn?


----------



## Xenakiboy

OldFashionedGirl said:


> How I become Mendelssohn?


Only Felix, Fanny and Abraham have that privilege, unless you get a special potion from Alexander Scriabin, the wizard!


----------



## Pugg

millionrainbows said:


> Have you noticed…our stupidity is not editable! Once you are stupid, you are stupid forever!


This is hilarious .


----------



## arpeggio

Why did Beethoven compose his Sixth Symphony after his Fifth and before his Seventh?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Xenakiboy said:


> *A Thread Where People Pointlessly Argue And Get Offended About Beethoven!*


I think you'll find that this has already been done.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Dr Johnson said:


> I think you'll find that this has already been done.


 (You get it!!!!!)


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

OldFashionedGirl said:


> How I become Mendelssohn?


Read this book:










So far, this is the best guidebook I've read on how to become Mendelssohn.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Am Mendelssohn Is Who I to How????


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What happens if I forget how to Mendelssohn?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> What happens if I forget how to Mendelssohn?


Depends, do you get mad? If so you may have Beethovitis?


----------



## Dim7

Do You Enjoy Spies?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Did Mendelssohn Rip Off Beethoven's Hairstyle?*


----------



## OldFashionedGirl

Why I don't like Mendelssohn?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is Beethendelssohn actually Mendehoven???


----------



## Xenakiboy

Was Beethoven German?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why am I like Mendelssohn?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Petition to rename this thread to "Mendelssohn Thread Ideas"*


----------



## Guest

"Bosnians playing the hit mobile game Pokemon Go are being warned to avoid straying into areas still sown with landmines from the war in the 1990s."


----------



## Ginger

Did Siegfried play Pokemon Go when he found Fafner?


----------



## Dim7

Do You Enjoy National Socialism?


----------



## arpeggio

Your Favorite X Composers:

Xanthoulis, Nikos 
Xaraba y Bruna, Diego 
Xaraba, Diego 
Xarhakos, Stavros 
Xenakis, Iannis 
Ximénez, Antonio 
Ximénez, José 
Ximénez, Jusepe 
Ximénez, Pedro 
Ximeno, Fabian 
Xuares, Alonso


----------



## Ginger

Did W. A. Mozart copy the idea with the snake in 'The magic flute' from Wagner?


----------



## Ginger

Why is nobody eating Sushi in 'Turandot'?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> *Petition to rename this thread to "Mendelssohn Thread Ideas"*


You have my vote......


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Your Favourite Z Composers:*

Mozart 
Mendelssohn 
Beethoven 
Brahms 
Bach 
Stockhausen
Michael Jackson


----------



## OldFashionedGirl

Why I don't like this thread?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Is Beethoven a Pokemon? *

Yes, even Xenakiboy can't get away from hearing about that


----------



## Xenakiboy

OldFashionedGirl said:


> Why I don't like this thread?


Does Mendelssohn approve of the thread? If not, that may be why


----------



## Xenakiboy

Does Beethoven have Borderline Beethoven Disorder??


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

arpeggio said:


> Your Favorite X Composers:
> 
> Xanthoulis, Nikos
> Xaraba y Bruna, Diego
> Xaraba, Diego
> Xarhakos, Stavros
> Xenakis, Iannis
> Ximénez, Antonio
> Ximénez, José
> Ximénez, Jusepe
> Ximénez, Pedro
> Ximeno, Fabian
> Xuares, Alonso


Xendelssohn, Felix


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Rank your favourite composers in order of "Most likely to spontaneously combust".

1. Schoenberg 
2. Beethoven
3. Scriabin
4. Liszt
5. Berlioz
6. Wagner
7. Mahler
8. John Cage
9. Handel 
10. Shostakovich (the NKVD planted incendiaries on him)


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Olivielix Mendelssiaen


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Cat Parts 

space filler


----------



## Guest

Cat arts. ..........


----------



## Dim7

*Doing*

Let's talk about doing. Doing anything, in general.


----------



## Scopitone

Which Opera would be the best one for Britney Spears' _La Scala_ debut?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why Don't I like Beethoven?*
A Thread Where People Pointlessly Argue And Get Offended 
*Why Do I Like Beethoven?*
A Thread Where People Pointlessly Argue And Get Offended 
*Why Can't I Accept That Stockhausen Was A Composer Of Music?*
Still doesn't exist


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why am I a combination of Xenakis, Bartok, Mahler, Liszt and Schoenberg?


----------



## Pugg

Xenakiboy said:


> Why am I a combination of Xenakis, Bartok, Mahler, Liszt and Schoenberg?


I do hope this is a joke?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> I do hope this is a joke?


Stop posting when you're drunk Pugg


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why Don't I Like?*


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why is Mendelssohn Beethoven?


----------



## Pugg

Xenakiboy said:


> Stop posting when you're drunk Pugg


I just woke up and you?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> I just woke up and you?


I woke up 6 hours ago, I post in my sleep too! :lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Is This Thread A Joke?*


----------



## Ginger

To be or not to be a joke. That is the thread.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why does Beethoven smell funny?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why are Mozart's fists still clenched and bloody? Should we be worried???


----------



## Ginger

Xenakiboy said:


> Why are Mozart's fists still clenched and bloody? Should we be worried???


No we shouldn't! After all one of Macmozart's most famous sayings is 'It will have blood; they say, blood will have blood.'


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Mozart a grapefruit?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

And his name is...

*JOHN XENA*kis


----------



## Kivimees

Composers that would make great pies.


----------



## Ginger

Composers and pies that would make great couples?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TalkClassical users that would make great couples

Figleaf and Wood (they're married! )
Dim7 and Richannes Wrahms
Huilunsoittaja and Mahlerian
Abraham Lincoln and Xenakiboy
Taggart and Ingelou
Frederik Magle and ComposerOfAvantGarde


----------



## Dim7

Frederik Magle and psychic love spellcasting spambot


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What about Dim7 and the psychic love spellcasting spambot?


----------



## Dim7

sharik and Zhdanov


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Bach and BachSucks


----------



## Dim7

Talk Classical users that would make mediocre rivals


----------



## Mahlerian

Abraham Lincoln said:


> TalkClassical users that would make great couples
> 
> Figleaf and Wood (they're married! )
> Dim7 and Richannes Wrahms
> *Huilunsoittaja and Mahlerian*
> Abraham Lincoln and Xenakiboy
> Taggart and Ingelou
> Frederik Magle and ComposerOfAvantGarde


No comment.

Still no comment.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers that would make great corpses


----------



## OldFashionedGirl

Why don't I like Xenakis?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> And his name is...
> 
> *JOHN XENA*kis


You've really topped yourself this time :lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> TalkClassical users that would make great couples
> 
> Figleaf and Wood (they're married! )
> Dim7 and Richannes Wrahms
> Huilunsoittaja and Mahlerian
> Abraham Lincoln and Xenakiboy
> Taggart and Ingelou
> Frederik Magle and ComposerOfAvantGarde


You missed a few of the other nonsense crew and a certain top poster.

Aren't we already going out? You brought me flowers, though you ate them.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Talkclassical users that would make great life-hacks?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Talkclassical users that would make great composers, that don't wish to be composers*?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Composers that should have been Talkclassical Users?*

besides Mendelssohn who just posted here before


----------



## Xenakiboy

*The Talkclassical Dating Forum*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Baroque vs Bar Rock*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*beethoven for president*


----------



## Xenakiboy

Xenakiboy said:


> *The Talkclassical Dating Forum*



_Classical music forums - Talkclassical_

*Music and repertoire

Musicians and listeners community

Instrument and technique

Members area

Dating area*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers you would date, marry, and eventually raise a family with. (Homosexuality is OK)


----------



## Dim7

Boring sensible advice


----------



## Balthazar

Top 5 composers to whom you are indifferent, ranked in descending order.


----------



## Dim7

Sexiest accidents


----------



## millionrainbows

Morton Feldman: The Movie, starring Ernest Borgnine as Morton Feldman














​


----------



## millionrainbows

Xenakiboy said:


> Why am I a combination of Xenakis, Bartok, Mahler, Liszt and Schoenberg?


Because half of your face is horribly scarred, you're a vampire, you're short, and you're bald.


----------



## millionrainbows

Whoops! I forgot Liszt. Let's say…you have a hawk's nose.


----------



## millionrainbows

An oldie but goodie, from way back...



millionrainbows said:


> An oldie but goodie, from the archives...
> 
> Alban Berg: The Movie, starring Christopher Walken as Berg


----------



## millionrainbows

I was going to do my thesis on "The Differences in Statistical Occurrences of Notes in 12-Tone Schoenberg," but my advisor discouraged it because it would be too boring to present an even distribution of all 12 notes.


----------



## Dim7

Stephen Fry as Wagner.


----------



## Kivimees

Which composer would you choose to coach the English football team?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mozart's stupidity


----------



## Dr Johnson

The Most Overwrought Classical Composer.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Kivimees said:


> Which composer would you choose to coach the English football team?


David Beckham......wait a second.......


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

The Most Overworked Classical Composer


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Would Beethoven Let Mexican Immigrants Into The USA?*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Would Beethoven Support Hilary Or Hilary??*


----------



## Kivimees

The most classical overweight composer.


----------



## Xenakiboy

*What do you think of Queen* Elizabeth II?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

If I tie a lot of balloons to the roof of my house, will it fly?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Your Favourite Composer Sucks!*
I am tempted to make a thread about this but I'm told it's not the best way to make friends...


----------



## Xenakiboy

Was George Gershwin Jewish?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Did Beethoven influence Donald Trump's election Campaign?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is Mendelssohn a good actress?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why do I hate pinecones?*


----------



## Dim7

Dim7 said:


> "North Korea" subforum - for those who want a little extra moderation


http://www.talkclassical.com/groups/anatopic-anachronism-d995-north-korea.html


----------



## Dim7

*Transtopical threads*

I'm sure something like this has happened to many of you before. For example, I posted a thread with the title "Your favorite Wagner overture", however very soon the conversation started to revolve around the question whether the silence before Hitler's speeches constitutes an atonal modern classical piece. I kept reminding members of the original topic of the thread, and for a moment it sort of worked, but then again people started to talk about silent Nazi atonality. It seemed like the natural direction the thread wanted to go, as it were.

It seemed obvious to me that this thread identified with a different topic than it had been assigned at creation. And clearly we have many other similar cases as well. But I think it is time to consider what should be the offical TC policy on threads like these. These possible solutions come to my mind:

1. Strictly force the thread conform to its expected role. Delete all posts that do not match with the supposed topic of the thread. This is a straightforward, but a brutal solution. The thread's feelings are not considered and lot of interesting discussions are lost.

2. Perform a "topic reassignment operation" and change the title. Would be a win-win solution in the ideal case, however these operations are risky and are known to cause thread malfunction.

3. Leave the thread title as it is, but respect the thread's topic identity. The problem is that this can cause many kinds of confusion, when readers expect to read about a certain subject but instead find content that disturbs them. Also moving these threads in this state to more matched subforums has been controversial as many threads in the new subforum have not accepted the transtopical thread as one of their own. These problems may however be alleviated with education and raising consciousness about transtopical threads, and on the plus side the thread's wishes are considered and the risks of topic reassignment avoided.


----------



## Guest

Dim7 you raise an interesting issue. What about threads that are in denial? An obvious example would be some Russian composers.


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Threads That Divert Into Unrelated Discussion*

Not all threads are fully to topic but the Donald Trump debate here is great!!! :lol:
Did you know that 46% of Mammals that use Talk-classical may have a classical related disorder!! 
Real Russian Politics always includes an eating competition
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
The new title of this thread is *Facts Of The Day*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why Am I Having Pains In My Lower 4'33?*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Your Favourite Blacklist Composers*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How can I be wittier on this thread?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How can I be wittier on this thread?


That'll cost ya!


----------



## Xenakiboy

*How Do I Squeeze Macaroni Without Breaking My Neck?*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How long does it take to die?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are all Russian composers homosexual?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How long does it take to die?


As long as it takes to live?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are composers more likely to be LGBTQA+ than non-composers?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How much does this thread cost?


----------



## Kivimees

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How much does this thread cost?


More than you can afford. You have to pay for every post you make on this thread sometime in the future.

Expect thugs wearing black gloves to show up at any time.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Kivimees said:


> More than you can afford. You have to pay for every post you make on this thread sometime in the future.
> 
> Expect thugs wearing black gloves to show up at any time.


Where will the thugs be showing up?


----------



## Kivimees

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Where will the thugs be showing up?


I expect under a rock in Illinois.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Are composers more likely to be LGBTQA+ than non-composers?


Maybe, but some composers are more likely to be LGBTQAFDPUBKZGVYD than others, like Beethoven who was *German!*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Kivimees said:


> I expect under a rock in Illinois.


But can they fit under my rock?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> Maybe, but some composers are more likely to be LGBTQAFDPUBKZGVYD than others, like Beethoven who was *German!*


And Mendelssohn who was *Objectively the Greatest Composer of All Time*.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> And Mendelssohn who was *Objectively the Greatest Composer of All Time*.


I agree 100%, Mendelssohn was the best, no disagreements. Though, if you want me to disagree you need to pay up...


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> But can they fit under my rock?


How much money do you have, that'll cost ya too!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why does Beethoven give me a black-eye whenever I talk? Or breathe?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why does John Cage turn anything I say into a musical Composition?


----------



## Dim7

Things that should be confused with themselves


----------



## Dim7

Embarrassing rumors you have heard about fellow TC members - Come in and share!


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Embarrassing rumors you have heard about fellow TC members - Come in and share!


Ideally backed up with photographs or videos.


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Ideally backed up with photographs or videos.


Yes. I hope the mods will slightly relax their standard for SFW and ToS-abiding content for the purposes of this thread. It is for a good cause after all.


----------



## Scopitone

Why didn't Beethoven use more Electric Guitar in his symphonies?

Which classic pieces could use more cowbell?

Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass - Modern Classical Masters

Why Don't I like Michael Bolton? And is that His Real Name?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Maybe it was Rossini?*

Why did Mozart stop using electronic drums and samples in his piano Sonatas?


----------



## Scopitone

Why is this thread so expensive?


----------



## Balthazar

*I want to spurn non tonal theory?*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Is It Possible To Enjoy Tonal Music?*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Do People Actually Enjoy Tonal Music?*


----------



## Scopitone

Best Beethoven Symphony Recordings, as arranged for Washboard, Saw, and Mouth Harp


----------



## Guest

Scopitone said:


> Why is this thread so expensive?


In a word: litigation.


----------



## Scopitone

Where can I find the Best Price for Forum Malpractice Insurance?


----------



## Xenakiboy

dogen said:


> In a word: litigation.


Classic dogen is back!!!


----------



## Xenakiboy

So what if Beethoven was angry, at least he composed happy music!


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: Who's Hotter, Callas or Your Mom?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Scopitone said:


> Poll: Who's Hotter, Callas or Your Mom?


Arnold Schoenberg.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Litigation for Orchestra, Chainsaw and Queen's Counsel.


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Scopitone said:
> 
> 
> 
> Poll: Who's Hotter, Callas or Your Mom?
> 
> 
> 
> Arnold Schoenberg.
Click to expand...

Another vote for Arnold Prettymountain, also known as Pretty Arnie.


----------



## Guest

Trio for Affidavit, Oath and Kazoo.


----------



## Scopitone

*serves Dim7 subpoena for defacing Grace Kelly*

I'll see you in court!


----------



## Dr Johnson

I go out for a few hours and, once again, chaos umpire sits.


----------



## Guest

Chaos umpire sits? Is that an anagram??


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> Chaos umpire sits? Is that an anagram??


Very likely, although it is also a quote from Milton:

http://www.azquotes.com/quote/787412


----------



## Scopitone

Anagrams of your Favorite Composers' Wives and Girfriends' Names


----------



## Xenakiboy

Dim7 said:


> Another vote for Arnold Prettymountain, also known as Pretty Arnie.


That's crossing the line...you went too far there....that is against forum rules.....mods will be after you now....


----------



## Xenakiboy

Put Felix's head on Fanny's body and Fanny's head on Felix's body?


----------



## Scopitone

Schoenberg vs Grace Kelly Bikini Posedown


----------



## Dr Johnson

This is possibly the most stupid idea that has ever graced these pages:

A thread suggestion that doesn't mention Mendelssohn.



I'll get my coat, my suitcase and my passport.


----------



## Dim7

Scopitone said:


> Schoenberg vs Grace Kelly Bikini Posedown


I vote for Aphex Twin. (Clicking the link not recommended for anyone except the bravest)


----------



## Scopitone

Dim7 said:


> I vote for Aphex Twin. (Clicking the link not recommended for anyone except the bravest)


I learned a long time ago not to click on their videos.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Dr Johnson said:


> This is possibly the most stupid idea that has ever graced these pages:
> 
> A thread suggestion that doesn't mention Mendelssohn.
> 
> I'll get my coat, my suitcase and my passport.


*Why are all Mendelssohn Suggestions, Mendelssohn Related?*


----------



## Xenakiboy




----------



## Scopitone

right! Stop this! This thread is getting silly!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Stupid Thread Ideas Is A Serious Thread


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> Chaos umpire sits? Is that an anagram??


Aphoristic Muses (amongst other suggestions, available *here*)


----------



## Pugg

Dr Johnson said:


> This is possibly the most stupid idea that has ever graced these pages:
> 
> A thread suggestion that doesn't mention Mendelssohn.
> 
> I'll get my coat, my suitcase and my passport.


So do I , what a load of ..........................


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dr Johnson said:


> This is possibly the most stupid idea that has ever graced these pages:
> 
> A thread suggestion that doesn't mention Mendelssohn.
> 
> I'll get my coat, my suitcase and my passport.


No comment.

Still no comment.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> So do I , what a load of ..........................


Why doesn't Pugg like Mendelssohn?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Thematic Development In Beethoven's Symphonies*


----------



## Dim7

Structure and meaning in Talk Nonsense posts


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Structure and meaning in Talk Nonsense posts


It's very simple. Context has crumbled away to nothing. The era of the reign of the immortal Mendelssohn has officially begun. Stock up on watercolor paper.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is it normal to find a composer in your bathroom?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is it normal to find a bathroom in your bedroom?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is it normal to find Fanny Mendelssohn in your shower? 

If Felix catches me, I'm dead


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is it normal to find a minor 2nd in a major chord? 
I WON'T ALLOW IT


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> Is it normal to find Fanny Mendelssohn in your shower?
> 
> If Felix catches me, I'm dead


She just wants to be clean...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How to stop composers from dying?


----------



## Dim7

Things that are exactly synonymous but nevertheless should not be confused with each other


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

An authentic picture of Modest Mussorgsky


----------



## arpeggio

Poll: Favorite C composer from the following list:

Frederick Chopin
Antonio de Cabazon
Michel Camilo
John Carbon
Innocente Carreno
David Carroll
Evencio Castellanos
Jacques Casterede
Daniel Catan
Julius Chajes

I wonder who is going to win.

Note: I have recordings of all of these composers in my library.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Why do I hate H.P. Beachcraft's "99 Fugues for Banjo and Cowbell"?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is X A Large Composer?


----------



## Dim7

Composing while unconscious


----------



## Xenakiboy

Dim7 said:


> Composing while unconscious


Wrong thread


----------



## Xenakiboy

Was [composer] a good chef?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> Was [composer] a good chef?


(Not a joke)
Rossini was a fine chef during his lifetime.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why are some people on this thread obsessed with Mendelssohn?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> (Not a joke)
> Rossini was a fine chef during his lifetime.


(also serious) 
I've heard of that, it's really awesome actually. He also created some nice recipes, as I am told.

I'd be kind of cool to have a master composer cook for you wouldn't it! :lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why are some people on this thread obsessed with Mendelssohn?


Ask Abraham Lincoln?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> Ask Abraham Lincoln?


SERIOUSLY WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT THAT MEND-WHATEVER GUY I DON'T GET IT
That was sarcasm, I'm always a Mendelssupporter and we all know it


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> SERIOUSLY WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT THAT MEND-WHATEVER GUY I DON'T GET IT
> That was sarcasm, I'm always a Mendelssupporter and we all know it


I hear he's good and fixing leaky pipes, he's like a repair guy or something....and his sister....


----------



## Pugg

Are you a Fanny?


----------



## Dim7

Why should Clinton vote for me?


----------



## Scopitone

What's Your Favorite Collection of Olivia Newton-John Songs Recorded on Harpsichord?

Which Soprano Role Would Pavarotti Have Performed Best?


----------



## Scopitone

What's So Blessed About the Cheesemakers?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Did Mozart have borderline Beethoven disorder?


----------



## Scopitone

How much flute would a woodchuck toot if a woodchuck could toot flute?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers who would make great Mendelssohns


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why are so many Russian composers alcoholics?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Scopitone said:


> How much flute would a woodchuck toot if a woodchuck could toot flute?


I counted, I think it was Four Hundred And Thirty Three


----------



## Pugg

When will this thread be closed?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pugg said:


> When will this thread be closed?


Not until MendHellssohn freezes over.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> When will this thread be closed?


That's the worst thread idea I've ever heard 
Mendelssohn


----------



## Dim7

Did Hitler have Borderline Expansion Disorder?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Did Hitler have Borderline Expansion Disorder?


He also suffered from acute shavingtheareaabovethelipphobia.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Did Scriabin have Borderline Atonal Disorder?


----------



## Merl

Which composers do you think were well-hung?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Felix ***********


----------



## Ginger

Your favourite "M" list of composers...


----------



## Pugg

Ginger said:


> Your favourite "M" list of composers...


Make it X and I am wetting myself again .


----------



## Ginger

Pugg said:


> Make it X and I am wetting myself again .


We don't want to risk that...


----------



## Ginger

How is TC influenced by the summer break?


----------



## millionrainbows

Ginger said:


> How is TC influenced by the summer break?


Aaron Copland in a speedo.


----------



## Dim7

Just how long exactly did Anonymous live?


----------



## Scopitone

What would Mendelssohn order at Starbucks?


----------



## SixFootScowl

dogen said:


> Three things you despise about dogen.


That avatar irritates me. I have no idea what it is. It may be my cultural illiteracy that make the avatar unknown to me because I have not watched television (or cable) in 27 years. So if it is from that media form, I draw a blank.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Merl said:


> Which composers do you think were well-hung?


Well-hung, or better off hanged? Asking for a friend.


----------



## millionrainbows

Merl said:


> Which composers do you think were well-hung?


Bernstein; Beethoven; Prokofiev; Rachmanninoff (he had huge hands)


----------



## Guest

Florestan said:


> That avatar irritates me. I have no idea what it is. It may be my cultural illiteracy that make the avatar unknown to me because I have not watched television (or cable) in 27 years. So if it is from that media form, I draw a blank.


You're being irritated by Beth Gibbons, a singer with a popular beat combo.

(unless I've reverted to the red panda)


----------



## Guest

Pat Fairlea said:


> Well-hung, or better off hanged? Asking for a friend.


Mussolini, did he write much?


----------



## SixFootScowl

dogen said:


> You're being irritated by Beth Gibbons, a singer with a popular beat combo.
> 
> (unless I've reverted to the red panda)


Well, I watched a few clips off of You Tube and am no longer irritated. Not exactly my kind of music but she is much preferable to most of the female pop artists (and a lot of male pop artists) out there IMO. Thanks!


----------



## Scopitone

dogen said:


> You're being irritated by Beth Gibbons, a singer with a popular beat combo.
> 
> (unless I've reverted to the red panda)


I don't know her, but I like the picture. There's a kind of Patti Smith or Francoise Hardy look about her in this image.


----------



## Guest

Scopitone said:


> I don't know her, but I like the picture. There's a kind of Patti Smith or Francoise Hardy look about her in this image.


Perhaps you know the name of the band? - Portishead.


----------



## SimonNZ

"Amazeballs Grace": Contemporizing The Classics


----------



## SimonNZ

Should the "Horse" leitmotifs in Wagner's Ring be performed using coconut halves?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How would the composers dress up for Halloween?

I think Mozart would go as himself.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How would the composers dress up for Halloween?
> 
> I think Mozart would go as himself.


Well Ludwig Van Beethoven is bigfoot...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How do I make Pugg wet herself?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How do I make Pugg wet herself?


You'd be disappointed if you found out....


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> You'd be disappointed if you found out....


Do I politely ask her to pour a bucket of water on herself?


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How do I make Pugg wet herself?


Is A.L a she or a he?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Pugg said:


> Is A.L a she or a he?


That will be a looooooooooooong looooooooooooong discussion that will likely end in more Mendelssohn purchases..............


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> That will be a looooooooooooong looooooooooooong discussion that will likely end in more Mendelssohn purchases..............


PURCHASE! THE! MENDELSSOHNS! 

spacefiller


----------



## BaritoneAssoluto

Is Donald Trump the long lost son of Igor Stravinsky?


----------



## Guest

Is Pugg a he or a she?


----------



## Xenakiboy

dogen said:


> Is Pugg a he or a she?


I thought he already explained this...


----------



## Xenakiboy

dogen said:


> Is Pugg a he or a she?


Is dogen really Beth Gibbons?? 

just jokes, my fellow Talkclassical buddy


----------



## Xenakiboy

*The Last Thing You Ate?*


----------



## Pugg

New poll:
I like moving house.
Yes
Yes.
Who cares


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pugg said:


> New poll:
> I like moving house.
> Yes
> Yes.
> Who cares


The correct way to move house:


----------



## Ginger

The last thing you wanted to eat, but couldn´t because you forgot to do the shopping because you were listening to Mendelssohn or Xenakis the whole day?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> PURCHASE! THE! MENDELSSOHNS!
> 
> spacefiller


I just got the Mendelssohn Masterworks set of 40 CDs and am very much pleased with it, but that it only has the orchestral parts of Midsummer Night Dream.

So do you also get into Mendelssohn's sister's compositions?


----------



## Dim7

Can I send PM's to myself about other classical music forums?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Dim7 said:


> Can I send PM's to myself about other classical music forums?


Yes, but be sure to send a copy to the mods...


----------



## Balthazar

*Sexiest accidentals*

D♭ is pretty nice, but it's F♯♯ that really gets me going.


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: Which Instrument Plays Bach better, Telecaster or Stratocaster?


----------



## Xenakiboy

When will Pugg purchase ownership of Talk Classical??


----------



## SixFootScowl

Xenakiboy said:


> When will Pugg purchase ownership of Talk Classical??


As much as Pugg must have spent on all those really nice box sets we see all the time in the current listening thread, Pugg probably could have purchased TC already.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Balthazar said:


> *Sexiest accidentals*
> 
> D♭ is pretty nice, but it's F♯♯ that really gets me going.


Dbb is my personal favorite.


----------



## Mahlerian

Balthazar said:


> *Sexiest accidentals*
> 
> D♭ is pretty nice, but it's F♯♯ that really gets me going.











Oh yeah.


----------



## Guest

Balzywalzy said:


> Sexiest accidentals
> D♭ is pretty nice, but it's F♯♯ that really gets me going.


God I love it when you talk dirty.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Sexiest composers


----------



## Guest

Can I think about anagrams which if you rearrange the letters could spell out the name of a competitor forum?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

dogen said:


> Can I think about anagrams which if you rearrange the letters could spell out the name of a competitor forum?


Only if those anagrams also spell the name of a forum member backwards.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Mahlerian said:


> View attachment 87046
> 
> 
> Oh yeah.


That gets me hot!!!!!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Ginger said:


> The last thing you wanted to eat, but couldn´t because you forgot to do the shopping because you were listening to Mendelssohn or Xenakis the whole day?


By forgetting Beethoven, you're making him *REALLY MAD*


----------



## Ginger

Xenakiboy said:


> By forgetting Beethoven, you're making him *REALLY MAD*


Good! :devil: Next idea:

Poll: On a scale from 1 to 10: how angry do you get from reading posts which don't mention Beethoven?
10
9.99
Who cares


----------



## Xenakiboy

Ginger said:


> Good! :devil: Next idea:
> 
> Poll: On a scale from 1 to 10: how angry do you get from reading posts which don't mention Beethoven?
> 10
> 9.99
> Who cares


correction, How angry does Beethoven get from reading posts which don't mention Beethoven?
10
9.99
Who cares


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Sexiest composers


Fanny Mendelssohn, I think that's the complete list!


----------



## Dim7

Best way of getting wrong information about the various parts of an orchestra?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Dim7 said:


> Best way of getting wrong information about the various parts of an orchestra?


#1 Talk Classical Users 
#2 Google search 
#3 Google Translate 
#4 Orchestra books


----------



## Dim7

Pictures of fat, hairy and unattractive men


----------



## Guest

What trauma happened in your childhood - Come in and share!


----------



## Xenakiboy

dogen said:


> What trauma happened in your childhood - Come in and share!


And also:
What happens in your retirement, and which family members disown you - Come in and share!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Pictures of fat, hairy and unattractive men


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


>


----------



## Judith

What was your favourite Composers favourite food?


----------



## Merl

Beethoven - best kazoo / comb and paper version of the 9th


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers Stravinsky would sacrifice


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Composers who would find the "Stupid Thread Ideas" thread amusing:*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> *Composers who would find the "Stupid Thread Ideas" thread amusing:*


I think Bernstein might.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Least intelligent composers


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Least intelligent composers


[pop singer that tried to compose a string quartet, not knowing what a string quartet is calling it "Broken" and using Am-F-C-G]

[Politician who calls his controversial policies music]

[Singer of band named after spiritual enlightenment that can play two chords and convinced someone to compose Symphony for him after his song about teenage rebellion became a worldwide hit, got commissioned by an orchestra. Then stamped his name on it]


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Least intelligent composers


Probably birds.


----------



## Dim7

Composers who just barely existed


----------



## Ginger

Composers who didn't exist


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Top 3 composers who didn't exist.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Top 3 composers who didn't exist.


Felix Mendelssohn-Bach


----------



## Ginger

Iannis Xenakis-Maxwell-Boltzmann


----------



## Dim7

Top 10 most existent composers


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Felix Mendelssohn-Bach





Ginger said:


> Iannis Xenakis-Maxwell-Boltzmann


Hmm, this list might become as contentions as the list of top 3 composers who existed


----------



## Ginger

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Hmm, this list might become as contentions as the list of top 3 composers who existed


 Number three could be: Richomo Wagnerbeer. Or Giachard Mayagner...


----------



## Il_Penseroso

If Bach could hear The Beatles...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers that would make great married couples.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do composers' wives go to composer heaven?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is it like really chaotic in composer heaven?


----------



## Ginger

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do composers' wives go to composer heaven?


Depends on the composer  or probably more on the wife...
Can composer's wives go to composer hell?


----------



## Scopitone

If you could have cheese and crackers with any composer, who would it be?


----------



## Ginger

With which composer would you never want to sit in a bathtub?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ginger said:


> With which composer would you never want to sit in a bathtub?


You'd need Taft's bathtub to accomodate Handel...


----------



## Ginger

Abraham Lincoln said:


> You'd need Taft's bathtub to accomodate Handel...


But only a medium sink for Mozart!


----------



## SixFootScowl

List of composers who had they come of age in the 1960s would have given up classical for rock and roll.


----------



## arpeggio

I am a new member. Have we discussed whether or not _433_ is music?


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> I am a new member. Have we discussed whether or not _433_ is music?


Not yet. Why not start one off to see if anyone bites?


----------



## Guest

That woman called Karlheinz Stockhausen.


----------



## Guest

Scopitone said:


> If you could have cheese and crackers with any composer, who would it be?


I'd choose stinking bishop.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Top 3 composers who didn't exist.


Bruno Heinz Jaja, obviously.
http://www.fakebands.com/wiki/index.php?title=Bruno_Heinz_Jaja


----------



## Scopitone

Saw this on a rock forum - it's a real thread:

Is the Stutter in "My Generation" Offensive?


----------



## Dim7

Ineffable Thread Ideas


----------



## Ginger

Is this thread Dadaism?


----------



## Guest

Ginger said:


> Is this thread Dadaism?


Is that a suggestion or an enquiry?


----------



## Guest

Your Top 3 posters operating duplicate accounts.


----------



## Ginger

dogen said:


> Is that a suggestion or an enquiry?


We could make it a poll... 

Is this thread Dadaism?
100%
50%
Who cares

(I go for 100% )


----------



## Dr Johnson

Scopitone said:


> Saw this on a rock forum - it's a real thread:
> 
> Is the Stutter in "My Generation" Offensive?


Seriously? Beam me up, Scotty! It is time to get off the planet.


----------



## Guest

Area 51 question:

Which conurbation categories comply with the ToS?


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Straight Composers?*


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Your top 3 stupidest posts on TC.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Stupid things to do in your spare time.


----------



## OldFashionedGirl

Which composers were sexy?


----------



## Xenakiboy

OldFashionedGirl said:


> Which composers were sexy?


*Famous fashion models that where also Composers!*


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Which Talk Classical Users are in the biggest debt?*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> *Famous fashion models that where also Composers!*


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


>


The Rite To Shop Shop Shop!!!!


----------



## Xenakiboy

*Why does like all modern music like suck and depressing?
I want de good 'ole nice tunes that are more than 150 yrs old. 
And why atonal music so emotionless and accedemic? 
It sux 
Thx*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How to sleep? 

Darnded 15 character limit


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How to sleep?
> 
> Darnded 15 character limit


Hey Mendelssohn, I have some friendly advice to help with your sleeping problem 

*GET OFF YOUR *** AND COMPOSE YOUR FOURTH SYMPHONY YOU LAZY ***** 

:lol:


----------



## Xenakiboy

Was Beethoven really allergic to water?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Xenakiboy said:


> Hey Mendelssohn, I have some friendly advice to help with your sleeping problem
> 
> *GET OFF YOUR *** AND COMPOSE YOUR FOURTH SYMPHONY YOU LAZY *****
> 
> :lol:


No. Not going to even look at it.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> No. Not going to even look at it.


While you where sleeping, Mozart just composed 13 Symphonies, 66 piano sonatas	, 12 operas and 7 Requiems. You've got a problem that even Fanny can't help with!  (because she's busy in her modelling career)


----------



## Scopitone

Why don't kids today think the popular music from when I was a kid is the best ever?


----------



## Scopitone

Xenakiboy said:


> While you where sleeping, Mozart just composed 13 Symphonies, 66 piano sonatas	, 12 operas and 7 Requiems. You've got a problem that even Fanny can't help with!  (because she's busy in her modelling career)


*Goes to Spotify to find a recording of Mozart's 5th Requiem*

Dang it, this forum is not to be trusted!


----------



## Pugg

Scopitone said:


> *Goes to Spotify to find a recording of Mozart's 5th Requiem*
> 
> Dang it, this forum is not to be trusted!


Let yourself go, no harm is done.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why do I hate Mendelssohn's Reformation Symphony?


----------



## Scopitone

Pugg said:


> Let yourself go, no harm is done.


Fine.

I forgive you, TC.

For now. . .


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

I have a whole bunch of very clever jokes about 4'33''. What should I do with them?


----------



## arpeggio

*How Many 433 Threads Do We Need?*

We have had six threads which have addressed the pros and cons of _433_:

http://www.talkclassical.com/4629-silence-music.html#post39843

http://www.talkclassical.com/8325-john-cage-433-music.html

http://www.talkclassical.com/17191-talk433.html

http://www.talkclassical.com/15399-ive-been-asked-perform.html

http://www.talkclassical.com/37102-movement-433-your-favourite.html

http://www.talkclassical.com/36315-why-433-disparaged-while.html

Do we need a seventh?


----------



## Balthazar

Why do we need any 4'33'' threads at all when it is so easy to insert your unique and witty joke into any random thread regardless of the actual topic?


----------



## Scopitone

What're the least appropriate thread topics in which to thread crap 4'33" jokes?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Scopitone said:


> What're the least appropriate thread topics in which to thread crap 4'33" jokes?


Do you like The Sound of Silence?


----------



## Pugg

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Do you like The Sound of Silence?


I do like the Silence of the Lamb


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Pugg said:


> I do like the Silence of the Lamb


Is it by Simon and Garfunkel too?


----------



## Pugg

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Is it by Simon and Garfunkel too?


No, they are Mrs Robinson lovers


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Your favorite suicide method

1. Hanging
2. Gunshot
3. Drowning
4. Jumping from a high place
5. Composing nine symphonies


----------



## Guest

The Xenakiboy Challenge Thread.

You're like a rash all over this forum but do you have the self control not to post just in this one thread? Can you do it? Even for just 24 hours?

Step away from this thread Xenakiboy!


----------



## Ginger

Are there any optimistic 20th century TC users?


----------



## SixFootScowl

^ Depends, did TC exist in the 20th Century?


----------



## Dim7

Post inside jokes that no other TC member could have chance of getting. Do not explain the jokes.


----------



## Mahlerian

Dim7 said:


> Post inside jokes that no other TC member could have chance of getting. Do not explain the jokes.


"You think so, huh?"


----------



## Scopitone

Depressed 17th Century Composers


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Which TC members are normal?


----------



## Xenakiboy

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Which TC members are normal?


Probably those ones that post 10 things and flee from the forum...


----------



## arpeggio

*Redundant Thread Ideas 1*

Redundant thread ideas:

Who are your ten favorited composers?

What is your favorite era?


----------



## aleazk

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Your favorite suicide method
> 
> 1. Hanging
> 2. Gunshot
> 3. Drowning
> 4. Jumping from a high place
> 5. Composing nine symphonies


Let me try each one and then I tell you.


----------



## Xenakiboy

dogen said:


> The Xenakiboy Challenge Thread.
> 
> You're like a rash all over this forum but do you have the self control not to post just in this one thread? Can you do it? Even for just 24 hours?
> 
> Step away from this thread Xenakiboy!


Subtly  You've done it this time!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Are Scholars Alright With GG Alan's Performance Techniques?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> Post inside jokes that no other TC member could have chance of getting. Do not explain the jokes.


Gay Mendelssohn

Bach's sweat drop

BWERGF


----------



## Dim7

dogen as a bicycle


----------



## arpeggio

*Redundant Thread Idea 2*

What is the future of classical music?

I know of at least six separate threads that have addressed this issue.


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: Is Richard Strauss's Music too Movie-Like?

(I actually saw this complaint raised in a Strauss thread. It's like asking, "Is _Much Ado About Nothing_ too rom-com-like?")


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

arpeggio said:


> What is the future of classical music?
> 
> I know of at least six separate threads that have addressed this issue.


The future of classical music is Mendelssohn.

There.


----------



## Dim7

What ungodly urges you have - Come in and share!


----------



## Ginger

Comparing Mendelssohn to Mendelssohn


----------



## Ginger

Are Scholars alright with people creating stupid thread ideas?


----------



## Dim7

Neutral comments on obscure mediocre amateur singers


----------



## SixFootScowl

Ginger said:


> Comparing Mendelssohn to Mendelssohn


Well we do have the "early symphonies" as Masur's recordings of the string symphonies are titled. We could compare early symphonies to the middle symphonies. Did he have any later symphonies? Maybe a poll is needed here. A stupid poll idea!


----------



## aleazk

Pugg vs. Xenakiboy: final battle!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Donald Trump for President


----------



## Scopitone

Are people all right with scholars listening to the Early Works of Lady Gaga?


----------



## Xenakiboy

aleazk said:


> Pugg vs. Xenakiboy: final battle!


Couldn't be bothered, Pugg's alright, but if you say I post too much...then I've been using Talkpugg all this time! :lol:

No hard feelings Pugg :tiphat:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dim7 said:


> What ungodly urges you have - Come in and share!


If you have two and a half hours to spare, yes.


----------



## aleazk

Top ten gay composers


----------



## Xenakiboy

Serious and helpful thread ideas


----------



## SixFootScowl

The "Why is music music thread." 

For example, 

What is music. Couldn't it be something else, just like blue maybe really is red but since every kid is taught that it is blue, nobody knows it is not. So one color blind person started the whole thing. Beethoven was deaf and yet made great music, so I guess we don't need ears to appreciate music. That proves that it is not music but something else.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

aleazk said:


> Top ten gay composers


A related thread ...

Top ten composers who thought they were gay but in fact turned out to be straight.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Why don't I like my spouse as much as I used to?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Trump or Clinton, which one is in fact a Sith Lord?


----------



## aleazk

Pictures of composers having sex!


----------



## Dim7

Lately we have been discussing the same things over and over again it seems. Doesn't this forum need something new? Why isn't there, for example, more debating about definitions of words? I think that could generate many fresh and productive discussions.


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> Lately we have been discussing the same things over and over again it seems. Doesn't this forum need something new? Why isn't there, for example, more debating about definitions of words? I think that could generate many fresh and productive discussions.


Make a poll, perhaps that's helping.


----------



## arpeggio

Your favorite "Who are your favorite ten composers?" thread.


----------



## Scopitone

Dim7 said:


> Lately we have been discussing the same things over and over again it seems. Doesn't this forum need something new? Why isn't there, for example, more debating about definitions of words? I think that could generate many fresh and productive discussions.


"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean-neither more nor less."

"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."

"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master-that's all."


----------



## Scopitone

Your Top 10 Hate Threads

What do you like about Hate threads?

What do you hate most about the music you love the best?


----------



## aleazk

Composers that had sex with other composers (and were both gay, of course)


----------



## Dr Johnson

aleazk said:


> Composers that had sex with other composers (and were both gay, of course)


So does that rule out Mr and Mrs Mahler? Mr and Mrs Schumann?


----------



## Ginger

Are all TC users on drugs?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Dr Johnson said:


> So does that rule out Mr and Mrs Mendelssohn? Mr and Mrs Mahler? Mr and Mrs Schumann?


Are you implying incest?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

aleazk said:


> Pictures of composers having sex!


I know several literary works of composers doing the do, if that counts.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why can't I catch Mendelssohn in Pokémon Go?


----------



## Dim7

Overpowered Thread Ideas


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Am I the only person who can't find Mendelssohn in Pokémon Go? Everybody else I've seen has a Mendelssohn already.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Are you implying incest?


No. Merely senility.

I have amended my post.


----------



## Guest

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Why don't I like my spouse as much as I used to?


Years of frustration lay down side by side.


----------



## Balthazar

Ginger said:


> Are all TC users on drugs?


I tried to stir up interest in a Sober Subforum a while back, but it never really took off.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Favorite body appendage.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Balthazar said:


> I tried to stir up interest in a Sober Subforum a while back, but it never really took off.


Probably too dry.


----------



## Guest

Are all track and field athletes on TC?


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> Are all track and field athletes on *TC?*


What drug is that?


----------



## Pugg

Dr Johnson said:


> What drug is that?


Come on, man up , you know it .


----------



## Dr Johnson

Pugg said:


> Come on, man up , you know it .


No. When I were a lad (and enjoying the occasional recreational drug) there was less choice. Nowadays there are so many new fangled "designer drugs" an old fella like me can't keep up.

Or is it "street speak" for ecstasy, XTC (also a band, by the way), shortened to TC?


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> What drug is that?


In an attempt to answer your question I perused a couple of lists of street names for drugs. What a bewildering list of slang names and acronyms! I can only conclude that TC is a designer combination of Tea (Marijuana) and C (Cocaine). A combination certainly more potent than last night's Buxton Rain Shadow imperial stout.


----------



## Poodle

Why do I like opera?


----------



## Guest

Poodle said:


> Why do I like opera?


Scientists are still looking for the answer to this.


----------



## Poodle

dogen said:


> Scientists are still looking for the answer to this.


clever one you!


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> In an attempt to answer your question I perused a couple of lists of street names for drugs. What a bewildering list of slang names and acronyms! I can only conclude that *TC is a designer combination of Tea (Marijuana) and C (Cocaine).* A combination certainly more potent than last night's Buxton Rain Shadow imperial stout.


Strewth! Citius, Altius, Fortius indeed.


----------



## Poodle

Dr Johnson said:


> Strewth! Citius, Altius, Fortius indeed.


Don't get too high!


----------



## Ginger

Poll: will Poodle run out Pugg as Top Poster today?

Yes
No
I can't speak freely because they are my neighbours...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pokémon Go Thread


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What superpowers would composers have?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Which TC member has a user name that sounds like it was made up when high and/or drunk?


----------



## Guest

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Which TC member has a user name that sounds like it was made up when high and/or drunk?


You mean besides your own? :lol:


----------



## Scopitone

Which Russian female gymnasts play the best Mendelssohn concertos in their spare time?


----------



## Guest

Poll.

Gay conspiracy to prevent the best athletes winning Olympic medals?


----------



## Dim7

dogen said:


> Poll.
> 
> Gay conspiracy to prevent the best athletes winning Olympic medals?


We should do a poll about this :lol:


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> We should do a poll about this :lol:


It would be manipulated by the global liberal capitalist er..... wotsit....


----------



## Scopitone

How many times do I have to post in a thread I created before I can abandon it?


----------



## Guest

Scopitone said:


> How many times do I have to post in a thread I created before I can abandon it?


Good question.

1- Trolling.
2- Just plain rude.
3- You may be genuinely interested, but hard to be sure.
4- It looks like you have an axe to grind.
5- Tedious and redundant. Likely to be locked.


----------



## SixFootScowl

The race to see "how many posts you can make in this thread" thread.


----------



## Johnnie Burgess

How can someone have more posts in one day than they have in total posts?


----------



## Poodle

Florestan said:


> The race to see "how many posts you can make in this thread" thread.


Cheeky Florestan


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Johnnie Burgess said:


> How can someone have more posts in one day than they have in total posts?


Probably through either a time machine or mod voodoo.


----------



## Poodle

Why do I have personal life?
100%
99%
Who cares


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Favorite composer named "Cletus".


----------



## Xenakiboy

*What is your favorite notorious piece of music that contains no notes what so ever, and everybody argues about philosophically? *


----------



## Balthazar

Xenakiboy said:


> *What is your favorite notorious piece of music that contains no notes what so ever, and everybody argues about philosophically? *


That's easy. Schnittke's tombstone.


----------



## Dim7

Johnnie Burgess said:


> How can someone have more posts in one day than they have in total posts?


The post counter works in mysterious ways. Hint: Community posts count for some things but for other things not.


----------



## Guest

Johnnie Burgess said:


> How can someone have more posts in one day than they have in total posts?


At that sort of level, quantum mechanics gets a bit weird.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Favorite composer named "Cletus".


Jacob Ludwig Cletus Mendelssohn-Bartholdy.


----------



## Dim7

Before a certain member posts this thread of mine:

http://www.talkclassical.com/39839-composers-pok-mon.html

Yes, it is a stupid thread. D'oh!


----------



## Ginger

What do you HATE most about this thread?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Ginger said:


> What do you HATE most about this thread?


That there is no end to stupid thread ideas. This thread will never end.


----------



## Guest

What do you LOVE most about this thread?


----------



## Dim7

Florestan said:


> That there is no end to stupid thread ideas. This thread will never end.


As Albert Einstein said: "Two things are infinite: the universe and stupid thread ideas, and I'm not sure about the universe."


----------



## Ginger

dogen said:


> What do you LOVE most about this thread?





Florestan said:


> That there is no end to stupid thread ideas. This thread will never end.


This should have been the conversation


----------



## arpeggio

dogen said:


> What do you LOVE most about this thread?


Too many great posts and not enough time to select the like button for all the posts that I like.


----------



## arpeggio

Why do contemporary classical composers lack talent and/or professionalism?


----------



## Dim7

What do contemporary composers most HATE about you?


----------



## Judith

Did any of the Composers own pets?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Dim7 said:


> What do contemporary composers most HATE about you?


That I can't stand their music.


----------



## Balthazar

*Intolerance and Classical Music*

How does intolerance enhance your appreciation of classical music?

Discuss.


----------



## Potiphera

Social experimentation. 

When I used to work as a phlebotomist, there was a radio in the room and one or two nurses liked to have the insufferable pop music stations on. So, one afternoon before staff arrived , I changed to station to classical just to see the reaction from patients and staff. Once we got busy started seeing to the patients taking bloods etc. soothing music playing in the background a lovely violin piece came on, can't recall who by, but one of the nurses got up and said , oh what's all this screeching and scraping music, she'd had enough, then switched the station back over to pop. 

On another occasion and different hospital in the Out Patients waiting room, I tried it again! 
I had the classical music station on, and I remember Beethoven's violin concerto came on. After a little while i started getting moaned at by patients and staff and asked to switch to a more livelier station , like popular music. 

Such was the results of my experimentations. Maybe they find classical musical stressful and unfamiliar , which is sad really. They all like the popular. 

.


----------



## Ginger

Stupid Thread Ideas Vol. 27


----------



## Guest

Ginger said:


> Stupid Thread Ideas Vol. 27


The Imbecile Edition.


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> Too many great posts and not enough time to select the like button for all the posts that I like.


Make it easy and set up a subscription to my profile page.


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> Why do contemporary classical composers lack talent and/or professionalism?


Most likely because they're gay.


----------



## Guest

How to resist a zombie apocalypse armed only with a bunch of chardonnay grapes from the 2013 crop.


----------



## Dr Johnson

TalkingHead said:


> How to resist a zombie apocalypse armed only with a bunch of chardonnay grapes from the 2013 crop.


Impossible! .


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> Impossible! .


Was it a poor year?


----------



## Dr Johnson

I don't know. I'm just not very fond of chardonnay (unless it's in champagne).


----------



## Guest

Dr Johnson said:


> I don't know. I'm just not very fond of chardonnay (unless it's in champagne).


Doc, clearly your local zombies have no class !!!!
http://winefolly.com/review/white-burgundy-tasting-pairing-and-french-chardonnay/


----------



## Dr Johnson

TalkingHead said:


> Doc, clearly your local zombies have no class !!!!
> http://winefolly.com/review/white-burgundy-tasting-pairing-and-french-chardonnay/


Thank you. 

I shall study this properly later. I have to admit that I find Chablis a little too mineral.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

arpeggio said:


> Why do contemporary classical composers lack talent and/or professionalism?


They are all lazy modernists who use the incorrect notions of artistry because there is homosexual Western conspiracy of lies against our true artists. Some of our composers used not to be men but our steroid program has fixed this now. They do not know of our mighty artists with pictures and tales of the Old Country in their musics!

This is why the decadent West must fail.


----------



## Scopitone

What are you planning to eat two days from now?


----------



## Scopitone

What happens in your life when you're not there? Post it here!


----------



## SixFootScowl

Scopitone said:


> What happens in your life when you're not there? Post it here!


Well, if you left the radio on, then music or something (maybe a Trump speech) would be going on in your home/apartment/cave.


----------



## Mahlerian

TurnaboutVox said:


> They are all lazy modernists who use the incorrect notions of artistry because there is homosexual Western conspiracy of lies against our true artists. Some of our composers used not to be men but our steroid program has fixed this now. They do not know of our mighty artists with pictures and tales of the Old Country in their musics!
> 
> This is why the decadent West must fail.


I agree with the first part, but instead of plotting the downfall of the West, why can't we _*make the West great again?*_


----------



## joen_cph

Mahlerian said:


> I agree with the first part, but instead of plotting the downfall of the West, why can't we _*make the West great again?*_


Yeah. Loads of fitting trumpet music too. Like in the old days.


----------



## arpeggio

Dim7 said:


> What do contemporary composers most HATE about you?


When they compose a bassoon solo for me and I mess it up at the premier.


----------



## Scopitone

arpeggio said:


> When they compose a bassoon solo for me and I mess it up at the premier.


If I had a dollar for every time that happened to me. . .


----------



## Guest

TurnaboutVox said:


> They are all lazy modernists who use the incorrect notions of artistry because there is homosexual Western conspiracy of lies against our true artists. Some of our composers used not to be men but our steroid program has fixed this now. They do not know of our mighty artists with pictures and tales of the Old Country in their musics!
> 
> This is why the decadent West must fail.


You're spending too much time in bad company.


----------



## Xenakiboy

What are you addicted to, that's stopping you from buying more classical CDs?? We want to know - Come in and share!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Top-ten lists of anything that everyone agrees with.


----------



## Balthazar

*Poll: Favorite poster named "dogen."*


----------



## Xenakiboy

Balthazar said:


> *Poll: Favorite poster named "dogen."*


Sorry, but it's just my opinion that dogen is better than dogen


----------



## SixFootScowl

Top ten stupid thread ideas from those posted in the Stupid thread ideas thread.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Florestan said:


> Top ten stupid thread ideas from those posted in the Stupid thread ideas thread.


Number 1: A thread in which users post stupid thread ideas
Number 2: ............


----------



## Johnnie Burgess

Thread for listing other threads that list other stupid idea threads.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was J. S. Bach male?


----------



## Guest

Poll

Which film do you prefer?

∆ Shrek

∆ Dr. Zhivago

∆ Impossible to choose


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> Poll
> 
> Which film do you prefer?
> 
> ∆ Shrek
> 
> ∆ Dr. Zhivago
> 
> ∆ Impossible to choose


I always get them muddled up.


----------



## Dim7

Stuff you're okay with that's worthwhile


----------



## Guest

Music that sounds like music.


----------



## Xenakiboy

dogen said:


> Music that sounds like music.


Google crashed :lol:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

dogen said:


> Music that sounds like music.


delelele WOOOOOOOOOOOP


----------



## Ginger

Armageddon 2016


----------



## Ginger

Are you allowed to play Pokemon when listening to Freischütz?


----------



## Spawnofsatan

Are you allowed to listen to Classical Music?


----------



## Spawnofsatan

Kids poll: 
Do Your Parents Allow You On The Internet?


----------



## Dim7

Things that are not related to Nazis in any way


----------



## Guest

Spawnofsatan said:


> Kids poll:
> Do Your Parents Allow You On The Internet?


Adults poll: 
Do Your Kids Allow You On The Internet?


----------



## Blancrocher

Howdy yall, I think it's just about time for yet another good, old-fashioned 4'33'' joke-off. 

I'll start ....
... ...


----------



## Mahlerian

..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
..........
...


----------



## Dim7

What error do you like the most?


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Poll: D minor, or not?


----------



## arpeggio

Name four composers who are worse than Cage:

Nanes
Middendorf
Ortner
Arpeggio


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Favorite composer named 'Felix Mendelssohn'.


----------



## Ginger

Favorite poster that should actually have been named Felix Mendelssohn.


----------



## Pugg

Stupid Thread Ideas


----------



## Dim7

Concern about site sanity


----------



## Dim7

Embarrassing things you would never admit, even on a internet board using a pseudonym - Come in and share!


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

What I am not undoing never ¿


----------



## Scopitone

Best punctuation makes when used upside down


----------



## Scopitone

Loveliest Female Cowbell Players


----------



## Xenakiboy

Scopitone said:


> Loveliest Female Cowbell Players


I have a very very very long list for that...


----------



## Dim7

*'Cool' words that have a boring or mundane etymology*

lord - "bread keeper"
knight - servant


----------



## Spawnofsatan

Top ten minutes on Talk classical?


----------



## Spawnofsatan

Was John Lennon a classical composer?


----------



## Dim7

What happens in other people's lives - Come in and share your stalking reports!


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> *'Cool' words that have a boring or mundane etymology*
> 
> lord - "bread keeper"
> knight - servant


I find the etymologies anything but boring!

Old English 'cniht' means 'boy' and from that word got the meaning 'servant' and from there the meaning of one's (fighting) retainer.

'Loaf ward' - not a baker, but the 'Lord' who makes sure you get to eat as a reward for your service as a fighting henchman. I think that's quite cool! 

Service to one's feudal lord was regarded as honourable.


----------



## TwoPhotons

_Recommend me pieces similar to Cage's 4'33_


----------



## arpeggio

TwoPhotons said:


> _Recommend me pieces similar to Cage's 4'33_


One of the movements of Erwin Schulhoff's, _Fünf Pittoresken _for piano, is a silent piece composed entirely of rests.


----------



## Dim7

Difference Between Classical Music And A Potato


----------



## SixFootScowl

What would Beethoven's symphonies sound like if Mahler had preceded, and therefore influenced, Beethoven?


----------



## millionrainbows

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Was J. S. Bach male?


...and since The Goldberg Variations were composed by Bach to ease the ailing Goldberg, was J. S. Bach a male nurse?


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> As Albert Einstein said: "Two things are infinite: the universe and stupid thread ideas, and I'm not sure about the universe."


The most abundant element in the universe is not hydrogen; it's stupid thread ideas.


----------



## millionrainbows

Was Mendelssohn a goy?

World's Stupidest Pets and Thread Ideas

I'm going to fill a gap in music that's needed filling for a long time: "Music to Listen to 4'33" by"

John Cage: The Silent Years

...and then suddenly, John Cage walked into the room, and everything got VERY LOUD

Suzuki walked into Cage's near-empty studio loft, and said "An old shoe would stink in this room."

If John Cage offered you a mushroom, would you eat it?

They gave an accordion version of 4'33", and nobody showed up.


----------



## Johnnie Burgess

millionrainbows said:


> If John Cage offered you a mushroom, would you eat it?


He did become an expert on them.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Has John Cage's brain been taken over by parasitic fungi?


----------



## Xenakigirl

Does John Cage actually compose music?



The answer is a resounding yes!


----------



## Scopitone

Top 10 Mendelssohn Potato Concertos


----------



## SixFootScowl

Xenakigirl said:


> Does John Cage actually compose music?
> 
> The answer is a resounding yes!


It has to be yes because he has now decomposed and if he had not once composed then how would he decompose?


----------



## Scopitone

Florestan said:


> It has to be yes because he has now decomposed and if he had not once composed then how would he decompose?


Dammit, Florestan, you owe me a new keyboard!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Florestan said:


> It has to be yes because he has now decomposed and if he had not once composed then how would he decompose?


How much compromised compost can you fit in that decomposed compass?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Should Mendelssohn have left his luxurious home to live the life of a starving and suffering artist, and would that have made his music even better?


----------



## Pugg

How many accounts can one have?


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Has John Cage's brain been taken over by parasitic fungi?


----------



## Pugg

Is Xenakixgirl Xenaniboy sister?


----------



## Balthazar

*Let's stalk Parsifal..................*


----------



## Dim7

Choose your 3 cowardly conductors slacking off the day before yesterday :wave:


----------



## Pugg

Balthazar said:


> *Let's stalk Parsifal..................*


:lol:.........................................


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Donald Trump a demon?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Stupid Opera Ideas


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Stupid Opera Ideas


I shall repost this:

Carmen: an opera about car-obsessed men. Mostly about maintenance of cars, changing wheels, fixing the engine etc., buying cars and also lots of arias about which cars are the best and various mechanical minutiae about them.


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> I shall repost this:
> 
> Carmen: an opera about car-obsessed men. Mostly about maintenance of cars, changing wheels, fixing the engine etc., buying cars and also lots of arias about which cars are the best and various mechanical minutiae about them.


True to life... :tiphat:


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> I shall repost this:
> 
> Carmen: an opera about car-obsessed men. Mostly about maintenance of cars, changing wheels, fixing the engine etc., buying cars and also lots of arias about which cars are the best and various mechanical minutiae about them.


This belongs in Talk Nonsense. :lol:


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> I shall repost this


It's appreciated that you're admitting you've run out of ideas.


----------



## Dim7

Pugg said:


> This belongs in Talk Nonsense. :lol:


It _is_ from Talk Nonsense!


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Which of these composers are you?

Multiple choice poll.


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Which of these composers are you?
> 
> Multiple choice poll.


Definitely Mozart.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Why don't we have more Beethoven symphony cycle threads here at TC?


----------



## arpeggio

I only have one recording of Beethoven's _Fifth_. Which one is the best?


----------



## Balthazar

Dim7 said:


> I shall repost this:
> 
> Carmen: an opera about car-obsessed men. Mostly about maintenance of cars, changing wheels, fixing the engine etc., buying cars and also lots of arias about which cars are the best and various mechanical minutiae about them.


You must be referring to this (legit) production:


----------



## Balthazar

*Summer of Sockpuppetry*

Who did it best?


----------



## Dim7

Am I allowed to advertise competing websites to my sockpuppet accounts via PM?


----------



## Dim7

Pick-up lines that should be confused with fighting techniques and banned


----------



## arpeggio

People overlook the value of negative criticism. So do not criticize me for submitting stupid posts.


----------



## Guest

Which Terms of Service can be ignored?


----------



## Dim7

I heard that the girl I'm dating is a countertenor. I don't know what that means. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?


----------



## Dr Johnson

For which members can the Terms of Service be waived?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> I heard that the girl I'm dating is a countertenor. I don't know what that means. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?


That's going to depend...


----------



## Dim7

Talk Classical Terms of Servitude


----------



## LarryShone

'What to do with a left handed theremin if you're right handed'


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why aren't there any electro swing arrangements of the 1st movement of Mendelssohn's E minor violin concerto?


----------



## Dim7

Pollific posters


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: When Stupid Thread Ideas hits 10k posts, should it be split into two 5k post threads and replanted?


----------



## Ginger

Poll: Your reaction when you read "Mendelssohn" on this thread:

NOT AGAIN!!!!
Who is Mendelssohn?
I don´t believe in polls.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ginger said:


> Poll: Your reaction when you read "Mendelssohn" on this thread:
> 
> NOT AGAIN!!!!
> Who is Mendelssohn?
> I don´t believe in polls.


...

...

...Mendelssohn


----------



## Ginger

Abraham Lincoln said:


> ...
> 
> ...
> 
> ...Mendelssohn


Okay. Then we need five options:

a) NOT AGAIN!!!!
b) Who is Mendelssohn?
c) I don´t believe in polls.
d) Mendelssohn.
e) Humming "I don´t caaareee, I don´t caaareee" and trying not so scream "WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A REASON FOR MENDELSSOHN!!!!" :lol:


----------



## Guest

The art of weeing.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

1. Posters who don't post enough.
2. Posters who post just the right number of posts.
3. Posters who post too much but that's OK since they include a cute emoticon in their posts.


----------



## Dim7

When you're NOT wreaking havoc and destruction, what are you doing?


----------



## SixFootScowl

How can I increase the number of Likes I am getting?


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Mendelssohn's favourite dipthong?


----------



## Guest

Posters who get the frequency/length/quality ratio wrong.


----------



## Mahlerian

Theories needed! Atonal "music" is just noise, so how did the Alban Berg Quartet and Arnold Schoenberg Choir develop their musicality?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

A famous conductor once said that he'd give up his left testicle to have written Mozart's 41st symphony (or parts of it). Assuming you could have written Mozart's 41st symphony (or at least the famous 5-part fugue at the end), which body part would you part with?


----------



## SimonNZ

_He'd give up_ parts _of his left testicle_??


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

SimonNZ said:


> _He'd give up_ parts _of his left testicle_??


Haha, that would be funnier but I actually meant parts of the 41st symphony (and you probably knew it )


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Favorite prime number symphonies.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Is the The Seikilos epitaph atonal?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Why don't I like Oprah?


----------



## Pugg

Are you Jerry Springer fan?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mozart was a saint! Totally the nicest composer ever to grace this earth. Wooowww...


----------



## Dim7

*Psst! The mods are sleeping, I'm going to solicit traffic to competing forums....*

If you type "classical music forum" into google, you will find links to other classical music forums.


----------



## Scopitone

Do any sane people like classical music?**








**genuine thread title seen elsewhere


----------



## SixFootScowl

Dim7 said:


> *Psst! The mods are sleeping, I'm going to solicit traffic to competing forums....*
> 
> If you type "classical music forum" into google, you will find links to other classical music forums.


Wow, that could be a hint to go try other forums. Maybe you are close to breaking a forum rule.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Least Prolific Posters*

I just noticed that the forum has a Top Posters list. Very helpful!!! But what about the people who make the least number of posts on this site? Where's the place where we can celebrate _those_ people?

HERE, that's where! That's right!! This is where you can go to find out all of the people who make the fewest posts on TC!!

I'll kick things off:

1. My mother - 0 posts
2. My neighbors' infant child - 0 posts
3. Jack (or is his name Jake?) from down the road - 0 posts
4. Vladimir Putin - 0 posts

Can you think of anyone with fewer posts than that? Who will be the next "Bottom Poster"!?


----------



## Dim7

Blancrocher said:


> *Least Prolific Posters*
> 
> I just noticed that the forum has a Top Posters list. Very helpful!!! But what about the people who make the least number of posts on this site? Where's the place where we can celebrate _those_ people?
> 
> HERE, that's where! That's right!! This is where you can go to find out all of the people who make the fewest posts on TC!!
> 
> I'll kick things off:
> 
> 1. My mother - 0 posts
> 2. My neighbors' infant child - 0 posts
> 3. Jack (or is his name Jake?) from down the road - 0 posts
> 4. Vladimir Putin - 0 posts
> 
> Can you think of anyone with fewer posts than that? Who will be the next "Bottom Poster"!?


I think it would be some moderator who has deleted a lot of posts but has actually never posted himself. Deletions could be thought of as "negative posts".


----------



## Dim7

Could composer's brains influence his music?


----------



## Balthazar

*The Walking Banned*

In this new horror series on AMC, all previously banned members return to the boards at once.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Posters who don't post here and are not wanted here:

Donald Trump!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Horrific posters


----------



## SixFootScowl

Current Mendelssohn Listening

Have you listened to any Mendelssohn lately?

How many relations are you away from the Mendelssohn family? My great uncle's friend's grandfarther's boss' sister knew a Mendelssohn. 

What's not to like about Mendelssohn?

Rank Mendelssohn's opera/operettas

What great works have we missed because Mendelssohn died so young?


----------



## Pugg

Balthazar said:


> *The Walking Banned*
> 
> In this new horror series on AMC, all previously banned members return to the boards at once.


Only the nosy ones snooping around. :angel:


----------



## Dim7

A thread for unironic and sincere stupidity


----------



## Pugg

Dim7 said:


> A thread for unironic and sincere stupidity


That's need a poll first.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do You Own A Cat(s)?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do You Own A Cat(s)?


Did Mendelssohn own a cat? Or his sisters?


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: If you don't post an album in a "Now Listening" thread, did you really listen to it?


----------



## Dim7

Handwrithing vs typoing


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Who's the better Mendelspammer? Abe Lincoln or Florestan?


----------



## Poodle

Is pole jokes funny?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Poodle said:


> Is pole jokes funny?


Depends on what you do with the pole.


----------



## Poodle

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Depends on what you do with the pole.


Should we make a poll for that?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Is it OK to use the words ***, ****, ****, **** or **** on this site?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Poodle said:


> Should we make a poll for that?


So long as the poll has a pole in it.


----------



## Pugg

How far did we drift off from the first post.
No poll option this time.


----------



## Poodle

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> So long as the poll has a pole in it.


What type of poll?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ifusudududdudufuuffududifufififi


----------



## Dim7

*Anachronistic complains and feedback* (Site Feedback & Technical Support)

Let's do some historical roleplaying. Complain about an issue with the forum that has already been fixed, pretending that we are still in time when it hadn't been dealt with yet. Complain about a spambot that has already been banned, or demand a feature we already have. I'll go first:

All the cool forums nowadays have the like feature. I think it would make posting more rewarding, plus it could lessen the number of posts with low substance that simply express agreement or approval. When we're going to get the like feature??!!!


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do You Own A Cat(s)?


Are you owned by a cat?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Pat Fairlea said:


> Are you owned by a cat?


Are you a cat? hohoho


----------



## Poodle

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Are you a cat? hohoho


Should we make poll?


----------



## Dim7

Krummhorn's A la carte poll: Which of these members would you like to see banned?


----------



## Guest

Poll

Your Favourite "A" to "Z" List of Composers


oh the relief


----------



## Guest

Poll

Your Favourite "Special Character" List of Composers


----------



## Wood

dogen said:


> Poll
> 
> Your Favourite "Special Character" List of Composers


There are plenty of #[email protected]$ng useless composers out there.


----------



## Dim7

Favorite "Ssshh!" Composer


----------



## Dim7

I have a brilliant thread idea.

However I refuse to tell what it is.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Favuorite Tpyoes


----------



## Dim7

Talk Nonsense - The Opera


----------



## Dim7

Members you have in your friend list but actually hate


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Favuorite Tpyoes


My favorite typo is "them asses" for "the masses." :lol:


----------



## Johnnie Burgess

Dim7 said:


> Members you have in your friend list but actually hate


You need to keep your enemies close.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Florestan said:


> My favorite typo is "them asses" for "the masses." :lol:


Good one. A similar one is "the rapist" for "therapist".


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Johnnie Burgess said:


> You need to keep your enemies close.


So you can stab them?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Poll: Do You Like Music?

1. No

2. Maybe

3. Who cares?


----------



## arpeggio

I have been away for four days attending the Staunton Music Festival and I see that there are over 2,000 new posts.

Should I read all of them or just ignore them all?


----------



## Poodle

Florestan said:


> Poll: Do You Like Music?
> 
> 1. No
> 
> 2. Maybe


3. Who cars?

4. What's Music?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

arpeggio said:


> I have been away for four days attending the Staunton Music Festival and I see that there are over 2,000 new posts.
> 
> Should I read all of them or just ignore them all?


If you don't mind seeing "M*ndelssohn" all over the place, yes, please do read them all.


----------



## arpeggio

Actually they performed a lot of Mendelssohn at the festival.


----------



## arpeggio

arpeggio said:


> I have been away for four days attending the Staunton Music Festival and I see that there are over 2,000 new posts.
> 
> Should I read all of them or just ignore them all?


After reading my 4,628th post on whether or not _433_ is music I gave up and marked all of my unread posts as read.


----------



## Pugg

Florestan said:


> Poll: Do You Like Music?
> 
> 1. No
> 
> 2. Maybe


You forgot: Who cares.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Pugg said:


> You forgot: Who cares.


Ok. I went back up and fixed it. Thanks!


----------



## Poodle

Why I like classic music?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Has the number of new stupid threads started gone down since we have had this thread to relieve ourselves of stupid thread ideas?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Bad Music VS Good Music


----------



## Ginger

Your favourite root vegetable:

Pastinaca
Turnip
Xenakis


----------



## Dim7

Members you would like to see unbanned purely out of morbid curiosity


----------



## Dim7

Sibelius vs. Finn-ale


----------



## Dr Johnson

Sibelius vs Godzilla.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Poll: Cauliflower?

1. Hate it.

2. The Evil Weed.

3. Can't be redeemed even with Welsh Rarebit sauce.

4. I throw it from my dinner plate to the dogs (and my disgusting dog actually eats the stuff).

5. All of the above.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

How do you make friends on TC? Do you like have play dates or something?


----------



## Balthazar

*Ten sadistic classic pieces*


----------



## Guest

Florestan said:


> Has the number of new stupid threads started gone down since we have had this thread to relieve ourselves of stupid thread ideas?


It seems more like a catalyst.


----------



## Blancrocher

*What is Muzak?*

I know, I know: it's elevator music. But when's the last time anyone honestly heard music in an elevator? I take a lot of elevator rides, but I can't remember the last time I heard any music in one (except occasionally when somebody's playing their ipod too loudly). Malls? Sounds like the typical top 40 trash to me. Same with grocery stores. Maybe you hear it at the dentist's office--but in that case are we just talking about a twice-a-year thing?

So, what is muzak in your opinion? Is it a temporary phenomenon that disappeared in the 80s? Is it still with us? Is 4'33'' muzak?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Why would anybody listen to John Tesh music?


----------



## arpeggio

Florestan said:


> Why would anybody listen to John Tesh music?


If listening to Tesh is agony can one imagine what it would be like to have to play Tesh.


----------



## arpeggio

How do you find the symphonies of Schumann?

In my CD cabinet between William Schuman and Joseph Schwantner.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Blancrocher said:


> *What is Muzak?*
> 
> I know, I know: it's elevator music. But when's the last time anyone honestly heard music in an elevator? I take a lot of elevator rides, but I can't remember the last time I heard any music in one (except occasionally when somebody's playing their ipod too loudly). Malls? Sounds like the typical top 40 trash to me. Same with grocery stores. Maybe you hear it at the dentist's office--but in that case are we just talking about a twice-a-year thing?
> 
> So, what is muzak in your opinion? Is it a temporary phenomenon that disappeared in the 80s? Is it still with us? Is 4'33'' muzak?


Muzak was described by Yehudi Menuhin as "Reprehensible in principle and revolting in practice"
As for definition, out-of-context snatches of undistinguished music played audibly but quietly to provide aural wallpaper that dulls the critical senses.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do you believe in the Spaghetti Monster?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do you believe in the Spaghetti Monster?


I am humbled by the loving embrace of His Noodly Appendage.

For those not familiar with the faith of Pastafarians, here's an excerpt:

Q: How do Pastafarians believe our world was created?

A: We believe the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the world much as it exists today, but for reasons unknown made it appear that the universe is billions of years old (instead of thousands) and that life evolved into its current state (rather than created in its current form). Every time a researcher carries out an experiment that appears to confirm one of these "scientific theories" supporting an old earth and evolution we can be sure that the FSM is there, modifying the data with his Noodly Appendage. We don't know why He does this but we believe He does, that is our Faith.


----------



## Guest

If Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven were such geniuses, then why didn't they make any recordings?


----------



## starthrower

Favorite Italian symphony cycles. You go first...


----------



## Spawnofsatan

Favourite five year old composers?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Artist's rendering of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:


----------



## Dim7

Why haven't non-Finnish races ever accomplished anything of significance?


----------



## Dim7

Bands or artist you would have felt ambivalent about to see die onstage?


----------



## TwoPhotons

Favourite composers with three syllables and ending in "z"


----------



## Ginger

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do you believe in the Spaghetti Monster?


Only if it's flying!!!!!!


----------



## arpeggio

Do you have a tattoo of Beethoven on your butt?


----------



## arpeggio

Other than myself, which TC members should take extra strength humility pills?


----------



## arpeggio

I really do not know what constitutes a great piece of music. That is why I come to TC. So the experts here can tell me what I should like and dislike.


----------



## arpeggio

Why is it that people who do not know a quarter note from a whole note think their ears are superior to Bruno Walter's?


----------



## SixFootScowl

What if Wagner had been born Jewish?


----------



## millionrainbows

Favorite Toscannini tantrums?

1. Lying on his side on a slick floor, running in a circle

2. Scowling until red and steam begins coming out of ears

3. Spitting on ground, then saying "You know nothing about your music!" to Ravel

4. Towards the end, simply closing eyes, head back, and emitting a loud groan


----------



## millionrainbows

Celibidache: Secretly on oxy-codone?

John Williams: Secretly on Thorazine?

Yo Yo Ma: Stoned out of his mind on marijuana brownies?

Mark O'Connor: A dangerous cocktail of moonshine and amphetamine?

Murray Periha: Lots of Mogen David and patchouli to cover the scent

Vladimir Horowitz: His struggle with speed, and the resultant cross-dressing psychotic episodes

Boulez: Overdosed on caffeine pills and too much French Espresso?

Leonard Bernstein: Liquid shoe polish strained through white bread: his downfall?

Aaron Copland: Made in America: Testor's airplane glue


----------



## millionrainbows

mstar said:


> Right-handed in a left-handed work:
> I'm just wondering if I can play Scriabin's prelude and nocturne for the left hand if I accidentally broke it. Can I use my right hand instead or do you think it's just not socially acceptable? What would Scriabin think? I mean - is he public domain yet? I really can't risk being sued for this, but I'm kind of desperate....


You could try, but that pinky pass-under will really be difficult.


----------



## hpowders

Hello posters:

I wish to be accepted as a "modern" listener. So I only listen to Stravinsky on CD; not on LP. That's good, right?


----------



## millionrainbows

Cosmos said:


> Webern vs. Beer...who would win in a fight


You mean Stafford Beer, the British cybernetician?


----------



## millionrainbows

Music to listen to 4'33" by

Performance of 4'33" interrupted by a guy with a boom-box playing "Listen to the Music" by the Doobie Brothers

Most hilarious performance of 4'33": during the "Contemporary Music Festival and Bean Cook-off"

A performance of 4'33" at Niagra Falls: Sadly predictable


----------



## arpeggio

Would _433_ be a better work if is was _572_.


----------



## Balthazar

arpeggio said:


> Would _433_ be a better work if is was _572_.


433 is a prime number so that is a definite no.


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> Favorite Toscannini tantrums?
> 
> 1. *Lying on his side on a slick floor, running in a circle*
> 
> 2. Scowling until red and steam begins coming out of ears
> 
> 3. Spitting on ground, then saying "You know nothing about your music!" to Ravel
> 
> 4. Towards the end, simply closing eyes, head back, and emitting a loud groan


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

Florestan said:


> :lol::lol::lol:


:lol: LOL!!! That's exactly what I had in mind, only I saw my nephew do this outside of Nieman-Marcus in Dallas. Me and his mother just walked away, and shortly, he looked up at the people staring at him. He never did it again.
BTW, Curly is doing this on carpet, which might take considerably more effort.


----------



## millionrainbows

National Enquirer headline:

*Stockhausen: "I was abducted by space aliens!"*

​


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> :lol: LOL!!! That's exactly what I had in mind, only I saw my nephew do this outside of Nieman-Marcus in Dallas. Me and his mother just walked away, and shortly, he looked up at the people staring at him. He never did it again.
> BTW, Curly is doing this on carpet, which might take considerably more effort.


Curly was very talented. I bet his left shoulder is getting hot.


----------



## Miles120

Where is that clip of the guy running around in a circle in one of the above posts. looks hilarious


----------



## Miles120

I was supposed to say, where is the clip from?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Miles120 said:


> I was supposed to say, where is the clip from?


The Three Stooges.


----------



## SixFootScowl

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> The Three Stooges.


A good floor spin here (they won't let it play outside of You Tube's site):





Another one here:


----------



## Dim7

When a member answers to a post clearly addressed to another member, should that be interpreted as an admission of sockpuppetry and the member in question immediately banned?


----------



## hpowders

Was Bach a better composer on his worst day than American politics on its best day?


----------



## joen_cph

Subversively fun music that should be banned, or at the least heavily marginalized 
- and establishing rules for acceptable, official humour in music.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are you Toscanini?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What was Bach like as a husband?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Dim7 said:


> When a member answers to a post clearly addressed to another member, should that be interpreted as an admission of sockpuppetry and the member in question immediately banned?


Not sure. Is this post addressed to me?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is the American dream dead?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

If I spray Donald Trump with a lot of pesticides, will he die?


----------



## SixFootScowl

What is the American Dream? Who dreampt it? And when did they wake up?


----------



## Guest

Pig farming in Nebraska - Come in and share!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

One Cannot Wagner The Wagner of Wagner


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Schoenberg Will Die!


----------



## Poodle

Abraham Lincoln said:


> One Cannot Wagner The Wagner of Wagner


His opera are nice tho


----------



## Dim7

N/A should be banned


----------



## Balthazar

*The Über-Thread*

If Dicky Wagner had composed_ 4'33"_ would its melodies be tonal or atonal?

And would he still be regarded as a genius in certain circles?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Why didn't Wagner write symphonies and why didn't Mahler write opera? 

What would they be like if they had?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Threads you have given up on because it has turned into a dead horse beating session.





























*...*


----------



## Dim7

I think we have already established that if a composer was a nasty person in real life, we should pretend that their music is garbage, even if it isn't.

But what about the other way around? If a composer was a really good and moral person, should we pretend that their music is great, even if it is garbage?


----------



## hpowders

*Electrically charged music:*

Post one: List favorite examples. I will start. Danny Thomas singing Ohm-my papa, to me he was so wonderful.
I will quickly get out of the way as I am expecting a huge turnout here.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Wagner a Wagner?


----------



## Pugg

Florestan said:


> Threads you have given up on because it has turned into a dead horse beating session.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *...*


I do have this one:


----------



## SixFootScowl

Pugg said:


> I do have this one:


Nice touch with the flies.


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: We will divide into two teams. One team tries to have a serious and highbrow discussion on music. The other team constantly interrupts the discussion with bawdy jokes.


----------



## Guest

If a blackbird sings in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it have a melody?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

dogen said:


> If a blackbird sings in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it have a melody?


The question should be would it be tonal or atonal

Maybe we could ban the letters A and W, that would get rid of most of the disputes here

eg *Did **gner ever write *ny *ton*l music? *nd would **gner c*re if he did!

*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are You a Good Fudge of Character?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Are You a Good Fudge of Character?


Are you good at developing the subjects in a Fugue?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Florestan said:


> Threads you have given up on because it has turned into a dead horse beating session.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *...*


If you think Stupid Thread Ideas is beating a dead horse, you haven't seen the 4'33 thread


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Schoenberg Will Die!


Didn't he already? I haven't seen him walking around lately


----------



## arpeggio

Do You Like Weird Modern Opera Staging That Are Silly Looking?

Only if they irritate the stuffier members.


----------



## Xenakiboy

How hard is it to beat a dead horse successfully? And why isn't it an Olympic sport?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Schoenberg gay?


----------



## Dim7

Classical music to cope with balanced life and trustworthy friends


----------



## Xenakiboy

My son started listening to Beethoven, how do I stop him from listening, the right parent way?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Composers you mock that are actually pretty good and you like several works of?


----------



## aleazk

Dim7 said:


> Classical music to cope with balanced life and trustworthy friends


Atonal music, of course.


----------



## Dim7

Xenakiboy said:


> Composers you mock that are actually pretty good and you like several works of?


Serious answer: Beethoven.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Dim7 said:


> Serious answer: Beethoven.


True, Beethoven's late works are actually very good, everything else though sounds like incredibly joyful music written by an extremely angry man..


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Was Schoenberg gay?


Are you now going through a Schoenberg phase???


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Mendelssohn the center of the universe?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

No, scratch that. Are YOU the center of the universe?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are you the universe?


----------



## Pugg

Page 666 must be the devil's own.


----------



## Guest

Poll
Favourite Horseman:

Death
Famine
War
Conquest
Who cares


----------



## SixFootScowl

Explain your signature.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Describe your evil satanic Rituals and how you sacrifice people - Come in and share! :devil:


----------



## Guest

Explain your stupidity.


----------



## millionrainbows

Richard Strauss on Schoenberg: "No commercial potential."


----------



## SixFootScowl

POLL: If you could pick it, what month of the year do you prefer be the month of your death? And why?

1 January
2 February
3 March
4 April
5 May
6 June
7 July
8 August
9 September
10 October
11 November
12 December


----------



## Ginger

Composers who were possessed by the devil


----------



## Xenakiboy

Your opinions on the content of page 666 of Stupid Thread Ideas?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Your favourite Paganini recordings performed by Lucifer? (on Violin)


----------



## Dim7

Finnish people who should be finished


----------



## Pugg

How funny are you on a scale from 0 to 1.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Have you met the reaper of death? - Come in and share!


----------



## Balthazar

*More Attempts at 4'33" Jokes Vol LXXIV*


----------



## Dr Johnson

Balthazar said:


> *More Attempts at 4'33" Jokes Vol LXXIV*


Sir, that is a topic on which I would rather remain silent.

I'll tiptoe across the room and get my coat.


----------



## Balthazar

Dr Johnson said:


> Sir, that is a topic on which I would rather remain silent.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Balthazar said:


>


In the UK that probably gets you into a university (of some sort) :lol:


----------



## Balthazar

Dr Johnson said:


> In the UK that probably gets you into a university (of some sort) :lol:


In the US it can get you a degree from Yale!

(Or so boasted our last Commander-in-Chief.)


----------



## Dim7

Dr Johnson said:


> In the UK that probably gets you into a university (of some sort) :lol:


In the UK they ask you to come up with 4'33'' jokes in university entrance exams?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> In the UK they ask you to come up with 4'33'' jokes in university entrance exams?


All the time. .


----------



## SixFootScowl

Strange people you have met (potentially including yourself).


----------



## millionrainbows

…click! BANG! plop...


----------



## millionrainbows

*"Awright people! *Let's keep on topic! This is a classical music thread, and these ideas are supposed to be about classical music! I'm getting' tired of..." click! BANG! plop...


----------



## millionrainbows

"Vote for Donald Tr…" click! BANG! plop...


----------



## millionrainbows

"Hey, I gotta nuther 4'33" joke for ya! It's…" click! BANG! plop...


----------



## SixFootScowl

I found there are secret messages heard if you play 4'33" backwards.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Florestan said:


> I found there are secret messages heard if you play 4'33" backwards.


Daed si luap. .


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

If you map all time to 4'33'': "... star formation was happening at an alarming rate throughout the loud fart in this performance"


----------



## Xenakiboy

It turns out 4'33 jokes are unfunny, who knew?


----------



## Dim7

I know the same reason why Schoenberg objected to the term "atonality", the one everyone already knows


----------



## Xenakiboy

Do you think too much classical music can be a waste of time?


----------



## SimonNZ

dogen said:


> Poll
> Favourite Horseman:
> 
> Death
> Famine
> War
> Conquest
> Who cares


e. Headless
f. Bronze
g. Electric
h. A.E.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How to wake up?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

SimonNZ said:


> e. Headless
> f. Bronze
> g. Electric
> h. A.E.


i. BoJack


----------



## millionrainbows

Man hears 4'33", is not enlightened, and sues john cage estate for 433 million dollars


----------



## millionrainbows

Man hears 4'33", is not enlightened, and sues john cage estate for 433 million
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------========================================================================================================================================================iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioioioioiooioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioioio================================


----------



## millionrainbows

This is 'Stupid Thread Ideas,' and I'm doing you a _favor_ by calling them "ideas."


----------



## Guest

The art of seeping.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

When can I be a human being?


----------



## millionrainbows

Abraham Lincoln said:


> When can I be a human being?


Never. We must assimilate you.


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How to wake up?


Take the red pill or the blue pill, or you'll never wake up and escape the matrix.


----------



## millionrainbows

Was Schoenberg assimilated by the 12-tone method? He claimed not to be, but who really knows?

George Rochberg escaped assimilation, and returned to tonality, although he was somewhat damaged, and the music shows this...

Roger Sessions was totally unaware that he was being assimilated, until a friend pointed out the telltale signs: robotic behavior, reduced function of harmony, increasing linearity, feelings of alienation from the audience, shortness of pants...

George Perle claims that he has assimilated in a "friendly" way, and says he can also live tonally...

Elliott Carter, although fully assimilated, claims that he has retained a personal identity...


----------



## millionrainbows

Ear test: which one of these notes is higher?

1. Growwwll….

2. Screeech!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What are notes?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Your favorite Harry Potter symphony


----------



## Xenakiboy

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Your favorite Harry Potter symphony


Wait...you mean Shostakovich???


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Is there something funny about the word "tromboner"?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Classical Music: Batman versus Superman.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Do you think too much beer can make you drunk?


----------



## Xenakiboy

Do you think too much time wasting can be a waste of time?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Xenakiboy said:


> Do you think too much time wasting can be a waste of time?


I personally enjoy my time wasting too much to be considered a waste of time.


----------



## Guest

Which posters do you believe to be a software program? Please give your reasons.


----------



## SixFootScowl

One man's waste of time is another man's productive pursuit.


----------



## Dedalus

Music to listen to during your own birth.

Pieces to listen to while committing suicide.

Music to listen to while committing genocide (something besides Wagner)


----------



## Dedalus

Which remembered composers do you believe are worth forgetting?


----------



## Balthazar

*Show Tunes Hour with Dim7*

After wowing global audiences last week with his heartfelt rendition of "Happy Talk" from _South Pacific_, the Fierce Finn returns to the chatroom lounge Tuesday evening for his unique interpretation of "Big Spender" from _Sweet Charity_.


----------



## Rach Man

Why notoriously bad symphonies always start with the first note?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is *Mahlerite555* related to *Mahlerian*


----------



## Dedalus

Good thread ideas.

Don't waste them by actually starting posts just put 'em here


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Is this thread needling you?
Answer yes, no, or sew-sew.


----------



## Dim7

The accounts ComposerOfAvantGarde and Krummhorn have been merged into a single account. Because why not.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Let's create Frankensymphonies by stringing together movements from different symphonies. We'll vote on who came up with the best Frankensymphony and they they can change their username to Dr. Frankenstein.


----------



## aleazk

The accounts ComposerOfAvantGarde and this list of 120325684562 accounts have been merged into a single account. Multiple accounts are not allowed by the owner of the forum, ComposerOfAvantGarde.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Help--Stereo likes old CDs, but not new ones*

Big problem here! Whenever I play old cds-recordings with Horenstein, Fournier, Richter, Hotter, etc.--my stereo works completely fine. But when I put on a new CD--with Lang Lang, say--it's like my stereo is just going through the motions. It sounds feeble and superficial. Can anyone help me with this issue? What's going on here?


----------



## SixFootScowl

If a person is diagnosed with split personality disorder and has a doctor's note, can they have two accounts at Talk Classical?


----------



## Xenakiboy

The only people who truly think stupid Thread Ideas are stupid, are those with a lack of imagination.


----------



## SixFootScowl

There are no stupid thread ideas.

:lol: just like in school when they tell you, "There are no stupid questions." But when you find out the truth, that they lied to you, it is too late.


----------



## SimonNZ

Poll: Best forum to solicit traffic to:

a. The Roman Forum, circa 29 b.c.
b. The Forum Shopping Centre, Helsinki
c. Penthouse Forum


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I've reworked the original OP, taking millionrainbows Op example & turning it into a Prog Music version........ 

- Why Doesn't My Grandmother like Pink Floyd's Music?"
- Yes's Music Didn't really Exist, It Was All made by computer
- Were the Brothers Gibb Prog?
- Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Spinal Tap's Music
- Zappa vs Trump a retrospective


  


----------



## Xenakiboy

THIS IS A FINAL WARNING, ANY MENTIONS OF THE COMPETING SITE: www.stupidthreadideas.com WILL AUTOMATICALLY RESULT IN A BAN. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!


----------



## Xenakiboy

Florestan said:


> Let's create Frankensymphonies by stringing together movements from different symphonies. We'll vote on who came up with the best Frankensymphony and they they can change their username to Dr. Frankenstein.


That was actually a good idea, you're selling yourself short. It'd make a great youtube channel!


----------



## Dedalus

Top 5 non-human animal composers.


----------



## Dim7

*Poll: Corrected "Choose the best symphony composer" poll*

In the previous poll many voted incorrectly. I'll give you guys a second chance.


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

*Your sexual disorientation*

Ever got into the wrong car thinking it was yours? Well...


----------



## Dedalus

Top 3 members that are ruining TC


----------



## arpeggio

I know that there are members who think I am one of them.


----------



## SixFootScowl

The non sequitur thread. Quote someone's post but make sure your post has nothing to do with the quoted post.


----------



## arpeggio

Would it be stupid to start a poll about Mahlerian?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Parasect a great composer?


----------



## Guest

Florestan said:


> The non sequitur thread. Quote someone's post but make sure your post has nothing to do with the quoted post.


I wouldn't say the distinction between his early and late string quartets is based solely on the use of chromatic interludes.


----------



## Guest

Dedalus said:


> Top 3 members that are ruining TC


can we have a poll?


----------



## Dim7

The post function, visitor messages and PMs have been disabled for non-moderator members as they were abused by some members to protest the rules of the forum. Members can still like, unlike and report posts, send and accept friend requests, remove members from their friend list and use the ignore function.


----------



## Guest

Also, some members have been breathing in when they should have been breathing out.


----------



## bestellen

Do you think too much classical music can be a waste of time?


----------



## James Mann

Most impressive website to get banned?


----------



## Dr Johnson

À la recherche des moutons perdus.


----------



## Ginger

Game: TC Big Brother: 
Only one moderator will stay until the end of the next season. Weekly evictions via poll.


----------



## Guest

World-beating Danish wines.


----------



## Guest

Unforgettable Danish recipes.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Your Compass Orientation


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Apple Danish Anyone!


----------



## James Mann

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Apple Danish Anyone!


Yes please Eddie!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

James Mann said:


> Yes please Eddie!


With Cream or Ice Cream?


----------



## Dim7

*Arachnophobia (but no spiders)*

Let's discuss arachnophobia, but please do not mention spiders in this thread.


----------



## James Mann

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> With Cream or Ice Cream?


Cream for me and strawberries for the wife :tiphat:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Your Oriental Sexuality Education?


----------



## James Mann

This thread is remarkably odd, but I like it


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pokemon that would be good composers


----------



## Pugg

Conspiracy Theories


----------



## Dedalus

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Pokemon that would be good composers


Jigglypuff? 15chars


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Music Illusion Conspiracy Theories: if you stare at the picture of the score at the top of TC for long enough, you will see Mahlerian's face.


----------



## Dim7

Why nobody takes me seriously while Mahlerian gets his own thread?


----------



## Pugg

Breaking down barriers


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> Why nobody takes me seriously while Mahlerian gets his own thread?


No one could discuss you because no one understands you.


----------



## Guest

Poll.

New forum moderator.


----------



## SimonNZ

Vote Simon For Moderator

_"Because It's Better To Have Him Inside The Tent Peeing Out"_


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

StalkClassical Forums


----------



## Dim7

Bach and his Organ: the key to his reproductive genius


----------



## Dim7

You call that a thread idea???


----------



## Dim7

What's the Most "Busakawaii" (Ugly in a Cute Way) Melody You've Ever Heard?


----------



## millionrainbows

Old Vienna Meets New Vienna: Serial Yodeling


----------



## millionrainbows

Proposed project: A Lincoln Portrait, featuring Donald Trump as narrator; no conductor or orchestra found yet.


----------



## TwoPhotons

Most R&B sounding classical music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Would the world be better off without Banjo's?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How to remove Donald Trump?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

You call that a moderator??


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Potpourri - Broccoli - Pots


----------



## Pugg

Leave of Absence-part *250*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The benefits of using an iPad on talk classical


----------



## Dim7

Sane about Mozart


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

why do all Moody blues albums sound the same to me

currently listening to one of them not sure which one - wife likes them!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> why do all Moody blues albums sound the same to me
> 
> currently listening to one of them not sure which one - wife likes them!


Couldn't take it anymore put the Stills/Young Band album on instead


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Leafy Absence Part 2: Winter Continues


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why doesn't my wife like Zappa/Mothers music? (Would say lyrics too) I generally don't listen to lyrics


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Suggest me delusions!


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Suggest me delusions!


http://www.talkclassical.com/groups/talk-nonsense-d650-delusions-you-plan-to.html


----------



## Ginger

Game: how quick can you make a thread being closed?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Ginger for next mod


----------



## Pugg

Ginger said:


> Game: how quick can you make a thread being closed?


Personal insulting will do the job.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mad about Varese


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

If great music sounds in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, is it still great music?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Do you like stuff?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Sail with Mozart


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Do you like stuff?


yes I call all my music Stuff ie Stuff 2.2 Again, Return of the son of stuff etc


----------



## Dedalus

Thread for those of us who don't listen or even like classical music, but fake it well enough just to get by by reading Wikipedia articles and being vague.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What you mean this is a Classical Music site!


----------



## Kivimees

Tell us everything you know. Spare no details.


----------



## Dedalus

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What you mean this is a Classical Music site!


Really it's just a matter of becoming popular or at least respected in an internet forum with the least effort possible. Because having the respect and admiration of anonymous strangers really is the highest goal in life.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dedalus said:


> Really it's just a matter of becoming popular or at least respected in an internet forum with the least effort possible. Because having the respect and admiration of anonymous strangers really is the highest goal in life.


Thanks for the tip, I wondered why they keep going on about Bach and stuff!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Brahms and Clara Schumann detested the music of Liszt because they were Brahms & Liszt(cockney version), is this possible?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Moderators: Please splice all threads on Mozart together into one thread. And do the same for all other composers. Then sticky them to the top of the forum. I need this because I am not good at searching out threads.


----------



## Pugg

Florestan said:


> Moderators: Please splice all threads on Mozart together into one thread. And do the same for all other composers. Then sticky them to the top of the forum. I need this because I am not good at searching out threads.


We have to do a poll about this .


----------



## Ginger

Pugg said:


> Personal insulting will do the job.


Psssst, neighbour!!! Don´t whistle-blow my strategy!


----------



## Ginger

Do You Own A Cat (s)?


----------



## Dedalus

Ginger said:


> Do You Own A Cat (s)?


This sounds like something that already exists. If not, I bet it'd be popular if made.


----------



## Dim7

Florestan said:


> Moderators: Please splice all threads on Mozart together into one thread. And do the same for all other composers. Then sticky them to the top of the forum. I need this because I am not good at searching out threads.


I think each member should have their own thread and be allowed to post in that thread only.


----------



## Ginger

Dim7 said:


> I think each member should have their own thread and be allowed to post in that thread only.


My thread will be called:
Am I underrated?


----------



## millionrainbows

"The Serial Didgeridoo: New Music from Down Under"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I for one Prefer parallel Didgeridoo's, get more noise...................


----------



## Guest

Outstanding Danish pastries


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Whipped Cream anyone


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Axle Rose out front of AC/DC, oh damn it been done....

Justin Bieber out front of anything really, but lets say Pink Floyd...........

it burns my mind- don't think Roger would approve


----------



## Pugg

Leave of absence; the story unfold.


----------



## Dim7

Do your enemies share your hate and contempt for popular music?


----------



## Guest

Why is Greek feta cheese made in Denmark?


----------



## Dim7

*Fun Competition*

Let's play a fun game. Each member gets points for telling what other TC accounts they have. The earlier they admit to which accounts are theirs and the more accounts they admit to having, the more points they get.

-Krummhorn


----------



## Guest

Aug6 said:


> *Fun Competition*
> 
> Let's play a fun game. Each member gets points for telling what other TC accounts they have. The earlier they admit to which accounts are theirs and the more accounts they admit to having, the more points they get.
> 
> -Krummhorn


You start, *Aug6*.


----------



## Dedalus

Dim7 said:


> *Fun Competition*
> 
> Let's play a fun game. Each member gets points for telling what other TC accounts they have. The earlier they admit to which accounts are theirs and the more accounts they admit to having, the more points they get.
> 
> -Krummhorn


mmsbls, dim7, Woodduck, Mahlerian....


----------



## Ginger

Dedalus said:


> mmsbls, dim7, Woodduck, Mahlerian....


Oh, I'm so sorry for you! I didn't know you had multiple personalitiy disorder... My best wishes.


----------



## Dim7

TalkingHead said:


> You start, *Aug6*.


Everyone knows that Taciturn**** is your alter ego.


----------



## Dim7

God: Mozart or Garbage?


----------



## Guest

Dim7 said:


> God: Mozart or Garbage?


We know what dear departed Christopher Hitchens' response would have been, don't we?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Olfactory Illusions


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Dim7 said:


> God: Mozart or Garbage?


Garbage: God or Mozart?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Post your cooking-with-ketchup recipes here.


----------



## Pugg

Leave of absence, the story continuing .........................


----------



## James Mann

Pugg said:


> Leave of absence, the story continuing .........................


What story is that?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Am I Mozart? Does that make me Garbage?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Did I miss an opportunity?*

I am a rubbish collector, and I have been for some years now. However, I was shocked to learn that a considerable number of people believe that Mozart and garbage are in some way related! 
Have I been missing out on all-new Mozart music all these years? Have I been sending the great man himself to the incinerator?
This is urgent, please respond quickly!


----------



## James Mann

MoonlightSonata said:


> I am a rubbish collector, and I have been for some years now. However, I was shocked to learn that a considerable number of people believe that Mozart and garbage are in some way related!
> Have I been missing out on all-new Mozart music all these years? Have I been sending the great man himself to the incinerator?
> This is urgent, please respond quickly!


What is your hourly wage MoonlightSonata? I hope it is decent, I've known people who have been badly paid in those kind of jobs. Government departments don't care either.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

James Mann said:


> What is your hourly wage MoonlightSonata? I hope it is decent, I've known people who have been badly paid in those kind of jobs. Government departments don't care either.


I think the bad pay is just to scare people off. They can't have people finding out that they're incinerating Mozart.


----------



## Dim7

Mozart: God of Garbage?


----------



## Richannes Wrahms

Mortgage: Dog or grab art?


----------



## Dim7

ComposerOfAvantGarde or ComposterOfArrantGarbage?


----------



## Dim7

Are we allowed to freely badmouth permanently banned members?


----------



## Genoveva

Dim7 said:


> Are we allowed to freely badmouth permanently banned members?


I've often wondered that.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> ComposerOfAvantGarde or ComposterOfArrantGarbage?


Not so nice.............


----------



## Dim7

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Not so nice.............


He has called me "Dimwit" and "Dumb7", so I think I'm entitled to that.


----------



## Poodle

Dim7 said:


> He has called me "Dimwit" and "Dumb7", so I think I'm entitled to that.


That is not cool


----------



## arpeggio

Let us have a forum that embraces all forms of classical music from Gregorian Chant to Boulez.


----------



## Ingélou

arpeggio said:


> Let us have a forum that embraces all forms of classical music from Gregorian Chant to Boulez.


Yes - let's call it Talk Classical -oh yes, it already exists.


----------



## Ingélou

Quotations that will do as posty-ripostes:

*'Et tu Brute'* - Julius Caesar (allegedly) via Shakespeare 

*'I strove with none, for none was worth my strife'* - Walter Savage Landor 

*So, having no reply to give
To what the old man said,
I cried "Come, tell me how you live!"
And thumped him on the head*. 
Lewis Carroll

*"Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party" *
Not Lenin, as I thought, but from a typewriting manual by Charles E. Weller

*"Well , here's another nice mess you've gotten me into."* 
Oliver Hardy

*Thereof no force - he is a churl
And knows no courtesy.* ut:
Anon, A Gest of Robyn Hode, 1500

*I have asked grace of a graceless face,
No pardon here is for you nor me.*
Anon, The Ballad of Johnnie Armstrong


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Would you rather be cut or stabbed with a sword?


----------



## Balthazar

^ The old sabre vs. épée conundrum...


----------



## millionrainbows

Running from the Devil: The DeProfundis Story


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Please Identify this piece of classical music for me...................


----------



## Dedalus

Which Korea do you like better north or south?

Which Virginia do you like better west or the real one?


----------



## Pugg

Is it fair to run your own site and try ruining this site?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Can I be a site administrator so I can see what's going on behind the scenes.


----------



## Kivimees

Is Mendelssohn underhanded?


----------



## Dim7

This parasite is really starting to grow on me


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Stupid Thread Ideas Vol. II


----------



## SixFootScowl

Comparing Judas Priest to Stravinsky.


----------



## Kivimees

Leave of Absence IV: The Voyage Home


----------



## Dim7

Do your acquaintances who you don't know very well share your ambivalence about classical/popular crossover music?


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> Do your acquaintances who you don't know very well share your ambivalence about classical/popular crossover music?


Fab! :tiphat:

Poll Choices:

I'm in two minds about my vote

I don't know

I'll let you know

I'm not sure

Please define 'share'


----------



## Ginger

STUPID THREAD IDEAS MASTERCLASS in to-be-announced


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Ginger said:


> STUPID THREAD IDEAS MASTERCLASS in to-be-announced


Sign me up...................


----------



## Ginger

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sign me up...................


As a prof or as a student?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Ginger said:


> As a prof or as a student?


Is there a cost differential between the two options?


----------



## Ginger

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is there a cost differential between the two options?


No differences in cost or authority. Only a different name badge.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Ginger said:


> No differences in cost or authority. Only a different name badge.


good to hear, sound like good value give a prof badge then


----------



## Dim7

Am I allowed to say that I hate a member if I admit that my hatred is completely unjustified and irrational?


----------



## Dim7

Any music you once listened to but are not listening to at this very moment?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Dim7 said:


> Any music you once listened to but are not listening to at this very moment?


TC will need a new server to fulfil that thread!


----------



## millionrainbows

Stupidest avatar images: winner gets a free glamor-shoot


----------



## millionrainbows

Poll: How close are you willing to get to the edge of tonal chromaticism?

a. Wagner

b. R. Strauss' Elektra

c. Schoenberg's Gurrelieder

d. Alban Berg's Op. 1 Piano Sonata

e. Philip Glass' Symphony No. 9

f. Lamont Young

g. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi: Ommmmmmm...


----------



## arpeggio

With the exception of the music I like I hate everything.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bad things you would like to do to your computer.

Maybe this could be a real thread but stupid is more fun. Well where do I start- I would like to inflict pain on my computer- must admit it has improved but only slightly since it changed it colours from 8 to 10 but only just. I would dearly like to do a Jimi Hendrix to my ASUS AMD computer thing and would make sure I was using a very strong solution of lighter fluid. I think it must have less memory than a knat how else could it be soooo slooowwwww They talk about peak oil, well what ever happened to that (gotta luv experts!) - I think we have reached and gone past peak computer...............


----------



## SixFootScowl

Thread ideas that are beyond stupid.


----------



## Balthazar

Sockpuppetry Redux: The Next Generation


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Why nobody takes me seriously while Mahlerian gets his own thread?


Tsk, tsk. He needs _something_ to hold on to.

The secret of Mozart's genius: he has a sword stuck through his head, while things change around him. And things always change.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Bad things you would like to do to your computer.
> 
> Maybe this could be a real thread but stupid is more fun. Well where do I start- I would like to inflict pain on my computer- must admit it has improved but only slightly since it changed it colours from 8 to 10 but only just. I would dearly like to do a Jimi Hendrix to my ASUS AMD computer thing and would make sure I was using a very strong solution of lighter fluid. I think it must have less memory than a knat how else could it be soooo slooowwwww They talk about peak oil, well what ever happened to that (gotta luv experts!) - I think we have reached and gone past peak computer...............


After much work and frustration and most of the morning in Oz- I have gone mad, no sorry that was yesterday - I have got rid of Cortana- disabled totally, not just turned off like Microsoft tell you to do - bad Microsoft bad- if you want to know how I did it just ask and no I did not use lighter fluid this time....... still my PC is not great refer below but at least not everything is at 100% or beyond!

Name 80%CPU 72% Memory 1% Disk 0% Network

and that's just running Talkclassical.................. plus a couple of other web pages.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> Thread ideas that are beyond stupid.


how about ............. A thread for Moderators to complain about Talkclassical Members


----------



## Dim7

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> how about ............. A thread for Moderators to complain about Talkclassical Members


This probably already exists, it's just not accessible to non-mods...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> This probably already exists, it's just not accessible to non-mods...


had sort of guessed there might be:devil:


----------



## Ginger

Was Wagner on weed when writing "Winterstürme wichen dem Wonnemond"? 
(please note the beautiful alliteration  )


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Is hip hop the classical music of the future?


----------



## SixFootScowl

What will pop music sound like in the year 2500?


----------



## Pugg

Florestan said:


> What will pop music sound like in the year 2500?


This perhaps?


----------



## SixFootScowl

^ That's a rather depressing song!

But this is more what I was thinking:


----------



## arpeggio

Are people who think contemporary music is as good as old music valued members?


----------



## arpeggio

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Is hip hop the classical music of the future?


Only if you are a rabbit.


----------



## Pugg

arpeggio said:


> Are people who think contemporary music is as good as old music valued members?


They are, we can do a poll on it . ( wink)


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

How highly do you rate Svenska Kottbullar (the Swedish meatball)?


----------



## Ginger

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> How highly do you rate Svenska Kottbullar (the Swedish meatball)?


On a scale from one to ten: a solid 25!


----------



## Guest

Why are Americans more hygienic than most other people?


----------



## Dim7

Sarcastic subforum where sincere comments are forbidden

(Okay it's a stupid subforum idea but I'm not going to make a separate thread for those)


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Kontrapunctus said:


> Why are Americans more hygienic than most other people?


Needs the first word deleting.


----------



## Guest

Pat Fairlea said:


> Needs the first word deleting.


It would be less stupid then...


----------



## Klassic

If God Ordained Everything Isn't it True that He Wrote Every Piece of Music in the World? 

This means he wrote crappy pieces to make his good pieces sound better.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Kontrapunctus said:


> Why are Americans more hygienic than most other people?


But oddly not very hygienic in wiping their rear ends; whereas, the French actually have special washers for this purpose--so I have heard.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Sarcastic subforum where sincere comments are forbidden
> 
> (Okay it's a stupid subforum idea but I'm not going to make a separate thread for those)


In the meantime, Talk Nonsense will have to do.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Florestan said:


> But oddly not very hygienic in wiping their rear ends; whereas, the French actually have special washers for this purpose--so I have heard.


Is that 'washers' in the hardware sense? If so, where do they fit?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Pat Fairlea said:


> Is that 'washers' in the hardware sense? If so, where do they fit?


Sorry, no hardware here, just a bidet, which is "a low oval basin used for washing one's genital and **** area"


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

There is no such thing as Chinese Food


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> There is no such thing as Chinese Food


You are right. There is food. And there is Chinese cooking. But that is it. Just because food is cooked in a Chinese manner does not make the food Chinese!


----------



## Pugg

The best way to destroy nasty insects would be: kill them, right?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Am I a nasty insect?


----------



## Kivimees

Recommend classical music appropriate while dissecting "odor-free" cow eyeballs.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Favorite fungus


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Can you name this Tune - da da da de da da da de da


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Can you name this Tune - da da da de da da da de da


Isn't that the te deum?


----------



## millionrainbows

Ear test: Which of these notes is higher? 

1. Bahhhhhhhhhhh….

2. Screeeeeeeeeeee!!!


----------



## millionrainbows

Kontrapunctus said:


> Why are Americans more hygienic than most other people?


Because they stink worse.


----------



## millionrainbows

Music to listen to 4'33" by...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> Music to listen to 4'33" by...


A random constantly changing internet radio station


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> Isn't that the te deum?


The Ambrosian Hymn- You win the Ice Cream, where do I post it to ...............


----------



## James Mann

millionrainbows said:


> Music to listen to 4'33" by...


Music to listen to while performing 4'33?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Favorite Bahraini composers.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Pros and cons of going to the bathroom.


----------



## Pugg

pros and cons of smoking.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

pros and cons of stupid ideas.


----------



## Antiquarian

The Smart Idea Thread

Dear TalkClassical Members: I have a problem, my girlfriend is profoundly deaf. By playing _4'33"_ by John Cage, am I wrong in thinking that this piece of music is something that we can enjoy together, or am I deluding myself in thinking that this may be an avenue for sharing my love of Classical music with her?

Music to Scuba Dive to?

Apologies once again for repeating, or duplicating previous posts, and/or post ideas. I'm much too lazy to peruse the history.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Pro Cons: the Professional Convicts' Club


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> Pro Cons: the Professional Convicts' Club


Also called the Australian Settlers Club


----------



## joen_cph

A pledge for *listing all the individual movements as separate posts in the current listening thread:*

You seem to have forgotten that classical works very often consist of several movements. 
Without these individual sections, the works wouldn´t be complete, or really exist as we know them.
It´s a matter of showing ample respect to them.

Are you all ignorants?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pros and Cons of Pros and Cons


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

You can't compare Scriabin and Indian food


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are you dying right now?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Pros and Cons of Pros and Cons


Con: Wasting time with pros and cons delays moving to the action phase! Spontaneity is preferred.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Abraham Lincoln said:


> You can't compare Scriabin and Indian food


Scriabin tastes better?


----------



## Dim7

*Long range piano playing*

I've developed my skills at playing the piano with two long sticks from a long distance. I've become pretty good at this point if I may say so myself. However before I developed these skills it didn't occur to me to think of any practical applications. What could be the use for playing piano this way? The only situation I imagine it might come in handy if the player and the piano are separated by a gorge or something.


----------



## joen_cph

................................deleted


----------



## SixFootScowl

A thread where all discussion must be posted only in binary code.

Text to binary conversion site here.


----------



## Dr Johnson

0100001101101111011001000111001101110111011000010110110001101100011011110111000000100001

:devil:


----------



## SixFootScowl

010010000110111101110010011100110110010101110000011101010110001101101011011001010111100100100001


----------



## SixFootScowl

Using binary coded text to bypass the language filters on TC and/or to insult other members.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> 010010000110111101110010011100110110010101110000011101010110001101101011011001010111100100100001


010010101110001100111000101010101010100001111000000000000000000000000000000


----------



## Dr Johnson

Florestan said:


> 010010000110111101110010011100110110010101110000011101010110001101101011011001010111100100100001


01001111011010000010000100100000010010010010000001110011011000010111100100100001


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

One hundred and one. 

Man I'm so good at binary code.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Florestan said:


> Using binary coded text to bypass the language filters on TC and/or to insult other members.


01110011011010000110100101110100001011000010000001110000011010010111001101110011001011000010000001100110011101010110001101101011001011000010000001100011011101010110111001110100001011000010000001100011011011110110001101101011011100110111010101100011011010110110010101110010001011000010000001101101011011110111010001101000011001010111001001100110011101010110001101101011011001010111001000101100001000000110000101101110011001000010000001110100011010010111010001110011


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

010101000110100001100101001000000111000001110010011011110111001100100000011000010110111001100100001000000100001101101111011011100111001100100000011011110110011000100000010000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001001000000100001101101111011001000110010100100000001100010011000000110001


----------



## SixFootScowl

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> 01110011011010000110100101110100001011000010000001110000011010010111001101110011001011000010000001100110011101010110001101101011001011000010000001100011011101010110111001110100001011000010000001100011011011110110001101101011011100110111010101100011011010110110010101110010001011000010000001101101011011110111010001101000011001010111001001100110011101010110001101101011011001010111001000101100001000000110000101101110011001000010000001110100011010010111010001110011


Why do your codes always come up malformed?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Florestan said:


> Why do your codes always come up malformed?


Blame George Carlin


----------



## arpeggio

How many name have you been called.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

arpeggio said:


> How many name have you been called.


Sadly, none. aaaaaa


----------



## SixFootScowl

What would your name be if you could have named yourself? Your TC name?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Florestan said:


> What would your name be if you could have named yourself? Your TC name?


My TC name is my given name!


----------



## SixFootScowl

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> My TC name is my given name!


That probably threw your school teachers for a loop. Did they make you play flute or trumpet in high school band class?


----------



## Pugg

Florestan said:


> That probably threw your school teachers for a loop. Did they make you play flute or trumpet in high school band class?


If my teacher had suggest that, it would have been very wrong, if you know what I mean.


----------



## Dedalus

Would Soundwave be the greatest transformer composer?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Florestan said:


> That probably threw your school teachers for a loop. Did they make you play flute or trumpet in high school band class?


Yes aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


----------



## SixFootScowl

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Yes aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


I see. You played both. So, is your name translated from another language wherein it is not as unusual as it's English translation?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Florestan said:


> I see. You played both. So, is your name translated from another language wherein it is not as unusual as it's English translation?


Nah. My parents are big celebrities so they decided to try a very unique name for their child. Bob wasn't good enough.


----------



## SixFootScowl

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Nah. My parents are big celebrities so they decided to try a very unique name for their child. Bob wasn't good enough.


Well, you could always change it if you wanted to. But celebrities seem to like to do that. What did Frank Zappa name his children? Moon Unit and Dweezle I think.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Florestan said:


> Well, you could always change it if you wanted to. But celebrities seem to like to do that. What did Frank Zappa name his children? Moon Unit and Dweezle I think.


Yep, Moon and Dweezil.


----------



## Ginger

Thomas de Bouillon


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Sunday Roast on a Tuesday


----------



## Pugg

Why do people always have to moan.


----------



## Dedalus

Your favorite ~, that is, tilde composers.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Favorite pole: East or west.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I like my Poles Cowboy style - Western..............


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Mozart's reaction to polls


----------



## Kivimees

Replace the names of tone poems with numbers.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Replace the names of numbers with tone poems.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Computer talk.

Beep boop, I am a computer.


----------



## Dim7

What's with the nasty pops?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Lets combine favorite movements from different composers' symphonies into one really fantastic symphony.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Let's combine favourite random notes from different composers' symphonies into one really fantastic symphony, John Cage would be so pleased..................


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Your deepest, darkest sexual secrets.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Chocolate, that's dark


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Top 50 composers who suck.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^ I did top 10 Craziest Composers' and that seemed to go ok


----------



## James Mann

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Top 50 composers who suck.


Dmitry Schost.....no, that is a bad idea now that I think of it. On with your days chaps!


----------



## James Mann

Prokofievic Boasters


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Your deepest, darkest sexual secrets.


I am not a male.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> I am not a male.


Wow, looks can be deceiving. What can I say I wear a dress!


----------



## millionrainbows

Your deepest, darkest sexual secrets.



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Chocolate, that's dark


I really hope that's not a metaphor for something else.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Tell us why you like stupid thread idea.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> Tell us why you like stupid thread idea.


I plead the 5th amendment, even thou I'm not American................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking.............. God maybe that could even be a thread- _*Sacrebleu*_


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking.............. God maybe that could even be a thread- _*Sacrebleu*_


I have some hitchhiking stories. Maybe I will start a thread later today.


----------



## SixFootScowl

What classical tune do you whistle most?

For me it is Tchaikovsky - Marche Slave. It was on my 1812 record (vinyl) back in the day and became a lifelong earworm. I like it but never play it. That tells you something. Not sure what.


----------



## James Mann

Is Mozart a lad or a Las?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who is better Ludwig Van B or Camper Van B?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is it ok to Mary your Motorbike? and does the Bike have to consent?


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is it ok to Mary your Motorbike? and does the Bike have to consent?


I think there may have been some divorces over the other "two-wheeled" woman.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Florestan said:


> What classical tune do you whistle most?


The Grosse Fuge. All of them.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is it ok to Mary your Motorbike? and does the Bike have to consent?


As long as the Bike is of legal age, you should be OK.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> As long as the Bike is of legal age, you should be OK.


Do you think applies in most Countries? I've got to plan the Honeymoon and gotta plan where to go..........:lol:


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Do you think applies in most Countries? I've got to plan the Honeymoon and gotta plan where to go..........:lol:


Not sure about all but it does in Canada. We just had marriages between humans and inanimate objects legalized in Ontario. People are flocking from all over the world.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Not sure about all but it does in Canada. We just had marriages between humans and inanimate objects legalized in Ontario. People are flocking from all over the world.


Cool, _Honeymoon __in Ontario then........................._


----------



## SixFootScowl

Usernames you have considered but not used.

Me: 

"Roy G. Biv"

Clutchfork

"John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt"

"James Morrison Weatherby George Dupree"


----------



## millionrainbows

Peter Schat: what does this sound like? It sounds like SCHAT! Pure SCHAT!


----------



## millionrainbows

Bruckner: Where's the beat?
I think Beethoven is just dandy; how 'bout you?

Why does religious music get its own forum, while atheist music is disparaged?

Conlon Nancarrow's music makes me nervous

A brief interview with Webern's music editor

Schoenberg in California: The Ping Pong Years

Philip Glass at 80: Looking real grizzled

Terry Riley at 80: He grew a beard

Steve Reich: The Early Spoiled Rich Kid Brat Years


----------



## SixFootScowl

Thread to say stupid things in.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is it ok to Mary your Motorbike? and does the Bike have to consent?


You should ask Mary's consent too, really.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> You should ask Mary's consent too, really.


Would you believe, Mary is the name of the motorbike..................


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Rachmaninoff married to Scriabin?


----------



## Guest

Leave of absence Part 32


----------



## Guest

League of absinthe Part deux


----------



## Scopitone

Classic Music Does Make You Sexier - It Is Absurd to Think it Does Not

Classic Music Does Make You Lose Weight - It Is Absurd to Think it Does Not

Classic Music Does Make You See Better - It Is Absurd to Think it Does Not


----------



## Scopitone

Why didn't composers change their names to make them easier for 21st Century Americans to spell and pronounce?


----------



## Dim7

"The Definition of Atonality" Is a Good Choice of Topic When Trying to Pick Up Chicks in a Bar - It Is Absurd to Think it Is Not


----------



## Guest

Poll

Absurd & Preposterous 
or
Plain & Simple


----------



## Dim7

Messy and convoluted.


----------



## Dim7

Favorite Talk Classical Member Bank Accounts


----------



## James Mann

Why does my postman not appreciate Brahms?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Favorite Talk Classical Member Bank Accounts


01001110011010010110011101100101011100100110100101100001011011100010000001100010011000010110111001101011001000000110000101100011011000110110111101110101011011100111010000100000011010010111001100100000001100010011001000110011001101000011010100110110001101110011100000111001


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

dogen said:


> Leave of absence Part 32


Leave of absence in 32 parts - theme and variations.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

James Mann said:


> Why does my postman not appreciate Brahms?


Because your postman always Der Ring twice?


----------



## Dim7

Pros and cons of going out of your mind


----------



## SixFootScowl

Dim7 said:


> Pros and cons of going out of your mind


Pros and cons of going into your mind (something like Timothy Leary promoted)


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pons and cros of crons and pos


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pots and pans and pots and pans


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Composers you lost


----------



## Kivimees

Classical Music Cure Athlete's Foot: looking for volunteers for highly scientific experiment


----------



## SixFootScowl

Favorite Supid Thread Idea Ideas


----------



## Pugg

The plot you lost


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Lost in the Pots and Pans


----------



## Guest

Prolific posers.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Borodin: great composer or one helluva chemist?


----------



## Kivimees

Pat Fairlea said:


> Borodin: great composer or one helluva chemist?


*Element*ary, Mr dear Watson.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Clasical mucis meke yu supid, itt i assurd 2 thunk i wontt?


----------



## Guest

I Have Decided to Prevaricate.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

dogen said:


> I Have Decided to Prevaricate.


I like the way you get straight to the point.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Prevarication thread (please post no truth)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bach was the greatest acrobat in known history and very good at making PDF's


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Mendelssohn a promiscuous homosexual?


----------



## Dim7

I have decided to slay


----------



## Art Rock

Any thread started by [invisible to avoid penalty] made you look.


----------



## Kivimees

I have stayed to decide.


----------



## Dim7

*C'mon guys, let's get wild!* (Posted in the private moderator subforum)

Being a mod is hard. You have to pretend to be impartial, you must act with a certain seriousness to retain your authority etc. But in this thread we can finally forget all that! Post nasty comments about members, pictures from our secret cross-dressing parties, raunchy jokes, links to NSFW sites you like etc. etc. Only other mods can see this, no need to hold back!


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Harrumph. Of course, there's nothing like that thread suggested by Dim7 in the moderators' subforum, but we must tolerate a little levity so that people can see that we do not moderate for its own sake but rather for the good of all, to ensure that civility, peace and fraternal friendliness rules the forum.

That is why I have 'liked' it, to demonstrate publicly our willingness to accept satire and constructive criticism. The moderators' subforum, is, however, a model of decorum and careful consideration of members' rights and responsibilities, which we always strive to balance.



I'm told that the Administrators' lounge is pretty spicy, though!


----------



## Pat Fairlea

dogen said:


> I Have Decided to Prevaricate.


Really? Have you though?


----------



## Blancrocher

I'm getting a little bit tired of tiring music


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I have decided to wash my hair


----------



## Pugg

Prolific bully's.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

How old is your cat?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have decided to wash my hair


Well, it was about damn time!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Should I stay or should I go (now)?


----------



## Ingélou

You could compromise by wearing stays?


----------



## Ingélou

TurnaboutVox said:


> Harrumph. Of course, there's nothing like that thread suggested by Dim7 in the moderators' subforum, but we must tolerate a little levity so that people can see that we do not moderate for its own sake but rather for the good of all, to ensure that civility, peace and fraternal friendliness rules the forum.
> 
> That is why I have 'liked' it, to demonstrate publicly our willingness to accept satire and constructive criticism. The moderators' subforum, is, however, a model of decorum and careful consideration of members' rights and responsibilities, which we always strive to balance.
> 
> I'm told that the Administrators' lounge is pretty spicy, though!


TVox, you're a brick!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Well, it was about damn time!


Yes, was getting a touch pungent.............. was the smell spreading that far?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Ingélou said:


> You could compromise by wearing stays?


Or stocks even, that'll make him stay and slow him up a bit!


----------



## Dim7

TurnaboutVox said:


> Harrumph. Of course, there's nothing like that thread suggested by Dim7 in the moderators' subforum, but we must tolerate a little levity so that people can see that we do not moderate for its own sake but rather for the good of all, to ensure that civility, peace and fraternal friendliness rules the forum.
> 
> That is why I have 'liked' it, to demonstrate publicly our willingness to accept satire and constructive criticism. The moderators' subforum, is, however, a model of decorum and careful consideration of members' rights and responsibilities, which we always strive to balance.
> 
> I'm told that the Administrators' lounge is pretty spicy, though!


Oh and just to be clear, my post was not satire to begin with, i.e. it was not intended as a criticism.


----------



## Kivimees

I have decided to cut my toenails.


----------



## Dim7

I have decided to believe in hard determinism


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> *I have decided* to believe in hard determinism


Brilliant! :tiphat:


----------



## Kivimees

Choose your favourite Russian Composer:

Mozart
Beethoven
Schubert
Chopin
Debussy
Verdi
Bartok
Liszt
Haydn

No write-in candidates allowed.


----------



## Scopitone

How was Rachmaninoff able to rip off Eric Carmen's "All By Myself" and get away with it?


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> How was Rachmaninoff able to rip off Eric Carmen's "All By Myself" and get away with it?


I guess the same way that Borodin ripped off "Stranger In Paradise." Not to mention Aaron Copland ripping off the "Where's the Beef?" commercial. And Beethoven ripped off The Judge Judy theme! Help! I'm in a time warp!!


----------



## millionrainbows

Kivimees said:


> I have decided to cut my toenails.


"I have decided to join the Air Force." -The Bee Gees


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> How was Rachmaninoff able to rip off Eric Carmen's "All By Myself" and get away with it?


By very clever use of time-travel, no one suspected anything.............


----------



## Guest

Would the world be better off without TC?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

dogen said:


> Would the world be better off without TC?


You mean Top Cat don't you..............


----------



## Pugg

Would the world be wonderful without all the bully's


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Peace and love Thread


----------



## Guest

Pugg said:


> Would the world be wonderful without all the bully's


Without all the bully's what?

(Before sospiro says it)


----------



## Guest

I have decided to not make decisions.


----------



## Ingélou

dogen said:


> I have decided to not make decisions.


I didn't decide *not to make decisions*. It just came naturally.


----------



## Dim7

The inevitable and predetermined chain of cause and effect is forcing me to stay


----------



## Ingélou

Dim7 said:


> The inevitable and predetermined chain of cause and effect is forcing me to stay


Oh good! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


----------



## SixFootScowl

Ingélou said:


> I didn't decide *not to make decisions*. It just came naturally.


The easiest decision is indecision.


----------



## Dim7

I have decided to get a little bit tired of pop music


----------



## Kivimees

I am getting a bit tired of tires.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Kivimees said:


> I am getting a bit tired of tires.


Tell me about it! I have a slow puncture.


----------



## millionrainbows

"I have decided not to make any decisions." -John Cage


----------



## millionrainbows

Your Favorite Tedium

Your Favorite Tee-Dee-Umm

Can Monkeys Hear Octave Equivalence?


----------



## millionrainbows

After Seeing the Fabulous Forum That He's On Now, I Don't Feel a Bit Sorry for Him; In Fact, I May Go There Myself

Disclaimer: Any Resemblance Between the Above Thread Idea and Actual Persons is Purely Coincidental


----------



## SixFootScowl

4'33" as Funeral Music


----------



## Pugg

Another stupid ideas thread.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

A Really, Really, Really, stupid ideas thread...............


----------



## SixFootScowl

Lost my funeral music. Help me find it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> Lost my funeral music. Help me find it.


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


>


The things one learns on this site.....:lol:


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


>


Whew! You found it. I couldn't have lived without that! :lol:


----------



## SixFootScowl

I'm getting tired of poop music.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Doctor Musick Answers Your Questions*

Question: I'm getting tired of electronica music. Why?

Doctor Musick: Electronica is designed to be listened to on drugs like ecstasy.

Plus, you can't separate a music from its sociological function.

Plus, this electronica music has a special talismanic effect, so you have to be a true believer in this "rave" lifestyle in order for it to have full effect.

Even though it has no words, it still conveys its spiritual message and effect. Just don't ever try to separate the "beat" from the _dit-dit-dit_ on top, or you will not get the full effect.


----------



## Blancrocher

^^^ Actually, that one deserves its own thread out on the main board, MR.


----------



## millionrainbows

Blancrocher said:


> ^^^ Actually, that one deserves its own thread out on the main board, MR.


Yes, I think you're correct, Blancrocher. But not on the religious music forum.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Maybe we could call it Saintly Poop music


----------



## hpowders

How come there are more posts in the TC complaints section than in the music section?

Post No. 1 : Newbie here. I want to know why.


----------



## Dim7

Threads that start triumphantly but end tragically


----------



## millionrainbows

*Doctor Musick Answers Your Questions

*Question: Is it possible that, while in common practice music a chromatic hexachord, or even a chromatic tetrachord or chromatic trichord would be a tense dissonance, that such chords could be the most stable ones in 12-tone music, provided that the voice leading uses these chords to fill out chromatic space?

Doctor Musick: Don't worry about "filling out chromatic space;" this is chromatic music, and that's what it will do, is fill up space.

As far as "stability," remember that it's all relative. If it makes you feel unstable, lay down, take a break from it, take two aspirin, and continue later.


----------



## hpowders

Posters who leave but always come back after they find out nobody in the local gin mill knows anything about classical music.

Post No. 1: List your names proudly if the above is apropos.


----------



## Pugg

Posters who leave but always come back to see if anything bad is said about them.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Genius a chopin?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: How many pop-ups on log-in would turn you off completely to TC?

1. one

2. two

3. three

4. more than three but less than 9

5. what the heck is a pop-up?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Poll: How many pop-ups on web browsing would turn you off completely to Microsoft operating systems and sloppily downloaded cnet free programs?

1. one

2. two

3. three

4. more than three but less than 9

5. What's the problem? I like pop-ups.


----------



## millionrainbows

Pugg said:


> Posters who leave but always come back to see if anything bad is said about them.


Posters who leave but always come back because they feel guilty.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Doctor Musick Answers Your Questions
*
Question: Why is Schoenberg's music so hard to understand?

Doctor Musick: Because he designed it that way.


----------



## millionrainbows

Did Chopin write "Chop" sticks?

Was Chopin bipolar? Is that why his music wanders aimlessly?

If Chopin had been treated for his condition with today's drugs, would he have grown breasts?

Was Chopin a "genius" or a "madman?"

Did Chopin's wife actually write all of his music for him, as well as doing his laundry and bringing him pies?

All this and more on the next "Dr. Phil."


----------



## Dim7

Ladies and gentlemen, TC now proudly presents to you: pop-up polls, or "poll-ups", that will randomly appear as you browse TC.


----------



## Dim7

*Poll:* My Favorite Five Morons: How Do You Rank Them?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Anyone Gotta a Handel on Bach, touch wood.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

florestan said:


> poll: How many pop-ups on web browsing would turn you off completely to microsoft operating systems and sloppily downloaded cnet free programs?
> 
> 
> 1. One (i) - they also form part of my top favourite popups.1026.32%
> 
> 
> 2. Two (ii) not all form part of my top favorite, most do, but i respect these popups 1744.74%
> 
> 
> 3. Three (iii)i have mixed opinion about this group of pop ups. Very mixed. 513.16%
> 
> 
> 4. Four (iv) hate them all 1125.26%
> 
> 
> 5. Five (v)more than three but less than 9 00%
> 
> 6. Six (vi) unsure what i think of them
> 
> _7. Seven (vii) What's the problem? I like pop-ups.you gotta be joking with those names _37.89%
> 
> 8. Eight (viii) who cares, i don't care about popups anyway



[/quote]/quote].............................................................


----------



## hpowders

Works that start in a minor key and end up as a major catastrophe.

Post No 1: List your favorites/favourites.


----------



## hpowders

*Activity Stream Watchers' Club
*
Post No.1: Calling all yentas who find it much more fun to sneakily spy on which poster's doing what, rather than posting directly on the forums themselves.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why am I somehow still alive?


----------



## Pugg

millionrainbows said:


> Posters who leave but always come back because they feel guilty.


I didn't mean you of course, I mean the sneaky ones.:devil:


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why am I somehow still alive?


Be careful what you wish for.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pugg said:


> Be careful what you wish for.


?????????????????


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> ?????????????????


Thank goodness , you are still alive.


----------



## Dim7

*Hello, some of you* (New Members - Introductions)

I'm new here and I'd like to say hello, but not to all of you since I've already figured out that some of you are complete ******.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite composers whose last names start with Ü.


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!

Post no. 1: Newbie here. Is a Beethoven symphony supposed to sound better in Vienna than if I listen to it in Boston?
I have many other good questions.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Bots vs. humans, which of them have the more positive contribution to forum discussions?


----------



## hpowders

Introductions section:

Post no. 1. Hi. New here. I am a theoretical Theist. Looking for some tolerance and a comfortable place to post.


----------



## Dim7

Introductions section:

Post no 1. Hi. New here. I am a philosophical zombie. Hope to find a comfortable posting position here.


----------



## hpowders

Behind the Scenes of Talk Classical: Area 83. Members Only! (Don't even try to sneak into this section!!)

Post no. 1: Has anyone on this site taken a poll on how many Theists vs. Atheists there are:

I'm listing the categories in order from lowest of the low to highest of the high:

1. Among the general posting population

2. Among the reporters of questionable posts

3. Among "recent activity" seekers

4. Among the post deleters

5. Among the Moderators

6. Among the Owners

7. Among the stockholders

I am doing an internet sociology research report and it's much easier if I can get you guys to do the work for me.

Thank you! My PhD may depend on this!


----------



## SixFootScowl

Poll: Do you check TC poll results before voting and why do you?

1. No, never peek. I just vote and let the chips fall where they may.

2. I peek out of curiosity.

3. I peek because I am afraid to be a lone voter, especially if people can see who voted.

4. I peek at the results because I always go with the crowd--no matter what.

5. I peek and then if my choice is unvoted, I come back a few days later and vote only if I am not the lone voter in that choice.

6. I don't vote in polls (except if there is an "I don't vote in polls" choice).


----------



## Dim7

Do you check what poll option you are voting for when participating in TC polls, and if you do, why?


----------



## Blancrocher

**Atonality Sucks**

This thread is about the original posts of threads. Do you read them before adding your two cents to a thread? Or do you just ignore it and respond to the title or else the most recent post in the thread? Is it just random, or do your habits change from thread to thread? What's in an OP? Do you care?


----------



## Dim7

*Why are there so many cases?*

Why???


----------



## SixFootScowl

Help me get out of modern classical music


----------



## Pugg

Florestan said:


> Help me get out of modern classical music


This is a good one!


----------



## SixFootScowl

Amazon and Ebay music purchases drove me bankrupt! Where's the online buying addiction hotline?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Florestan said:


> Help me get out of modern classical music


Help me stop loving Schoenberg's brilliant works?
Help me stop loving Brahms piano quartets?
Help me stop my addiction to Stockhausen?
Help me get Ode to joy out of my head?
Why is ode to joy so comedic?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is this composed, ArtMusic?

(poll aimed at ArtMusic only, as for others: please do not vote)


----------



## SixFootScowl

Help! Sold my kids into slavery to support my music habit.


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed!

Post no. 1: Newbie here. This is my first post. How many posts must I make before I can leave and never come back?


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Help! Sold my kids into slavery to support my music habit.


I hear you are running "2 kids for the price of one" tomorrow in the Detroit Free Press as a Columbus Day sale.


----------



## Dim7

TC staff is sad to report that in these economically hard times, we are forced to sell some of the less valuable members to slavery to support the forum financially. A poll on who shall be the first to go coming soon...


----------



## hpowders

Newbie observation:

Post no. 1: There must be around 300 active posters here. So why do I hear that classical music is not popular?


----------



## hpowders

Inquiry Section 63 (senior members only)

Post 76: Just wanted to mention there is a new Maria Callas set, if anyone is interested.


----------



## hpowders

Area 61.5 (Posts restricted to members only. Use 6 digit code provided to you when you registered)

Post No. 1: Posters should not be allowed to come and go here as they please. Is there a way to force posters to remain here? An electric fence, perhaps?


----------



## hpowders

Inquiry Section.

Post No. 1: How do I apply for temporary posting status? I plan to come and go.


----------



## SixFootScowl

I didn't mean to, but I just ordered 11 more CDs and DVDs.


----------



## hpowders

Modern overlapping Classical:

Post no. 1: If there was cable TV in Vienna from say, 1788 to 1830, with the cable selections we have now, would Beethoven ever have become popular?


----------



## Flamme

Dim7 said:


> TC staff is sad to report that in these economically hard times, we are forced to sell some of the less valuable members to slavery to support the forum financially. A poll on who shall be the first to go coming soon...


Yup. Me. But. I. Came. Back


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which Beethoven is your favorite?

1. Karl van Beethoven

2. Johann van Beethoven

3. Ludwig van Beethoven

4. Nikolaus Johann van Beethoven

5. I hate anything Beethoven

6. Which one's the composer of a fifth of a symphony?

Please take your time. Do not rush to judgment.


----------



## hpowders

Pop Section:

Did Van Morrison take his name from Beethoven?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Is Beethoven on antidepressants?


----------



## hpowders

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Is Beethoven on antidepressants?


No I believe that was Handel after composing all those depressing slow opera arias that never seemed to be shorter than 12 minutes each.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

How to be Mozart: Three simple steps to ripping off Bach


----------



## hpowders

If Mozart was alive today would he be a poster on TC or a mod?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> If Mozart was alive today would he be a poster on TC or a mod?


A mod, I know he is a big Pete Townsend fan.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> How to be Mozart: Three simple steps to ripping off Bach


From trees ??? ...................


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> From trees ??? ...................


I can't see the trees, they must be Haydn somewhere


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> I can't see the trees, they must be Haydn somewhere


They need Chopin down, Handel me an axe.........


----------



## hpowders

Oh no! How punicious! I can't Handel much Moore of this so I'll simply ToS it back to you!


----------



## hpowders

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> I can't see the trees, they must be Haydn somewhere


I see them...just over the brook...ummm, I mean, Bach!


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

I need to retreat to a berg, these puns are too haas for me to Byrd-en


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Compose like Beethoven in three simple steps!:

1. Hit on married woman
2. Become a living monstrosity filled with pure anger 
3. Rip off Haydn


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> I need to retreat to a berg, these puns are too haas for me to Byrd-en


I'll see your Berg and Schoenberg you Jelly Roll Morton of the Sondheim Albrecht, Scriabin here...............


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'll see your Berg and Schoenberg you Jelly Roll Morton of the Sondheim Albrecht, Scriabin here...............


Eddie mate, that floor ain't Scriabin itself!


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Stupid should be outlawed, here's why:


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Illegal thread ideas


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Illegal thread ideas


Now that wins a Stupid Thread Award (STA)


----------



## Dim7

*Stupid Thread Idea Artists' Worldwide Live Tour* - Hear your favorite STIs read aloud live by their creators


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Stupid Thread Talks - Like Ted talks, but better


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> *Stupid Thread Idea Artists' Worldwide Live Tour* - Hear your favorite STIs read aloud live by their creators


Is it catchy.................


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Stupid Thread management and accounting course


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

503 Stupid Thread Ideas Copyright Lawyer Jobs found in your area.

Click to apply and attach CV


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Stupid Thread management and accounting course


I'll pass on that one thanks and I don't mean pass with a credit or distinction, or even a high pass or c- pass by favours to the tutor.....................


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Why Bach ripped off Stravinsky - Come and be shocked!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do you deal with a frustratingly dumb co-worker Thread: HDYDWAFDCWT


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How do you deal with a frustratingly dumb co-worker Thread: HDYDWAFDCWT
> View attachment 89362


That springed up so quick, you wouldn't believe he had the legal Rite to murder Stravinsky


----------



## SixFootScowl

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Illegal thread ideas


Tips on how to evade taxes


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why is TC's colour white and not green? I think TC would look better if it were a nice light green colour.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Like a fungus you mean..............


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

The Conspiracy Of Spring:

The Rite Of Spring was composed by Rimsky Korsakov on his death-bed and became a lost work. Igor Stravinsky later found it and claimed it as his own genius!


----------



## ArtMusics Dad

Music that sounds ugly poll:

yes
no
Who cares?
Why do I make polls?


Yes, polls are in the family tradition


----------



## Pugg

How many accounts do you have?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Let's start a Who's counting thread............


----------



## Pugg

Are people just plain rude just because they suffer from lack off attention in their childhood?


----------



## Guest

Pugg said:


> Are people just plain rude just because they suffer from lack off attention in their childhood?


You forgot to add a poll to this question


----------



## Guest

Is Lang Lang actually Short Short?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Mods: Can we start a "Stupid Threads" forum? Then move all stupid threads to it?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Florestan said:


> Mods: Can we start a "Stupid Threads" forum? Then move all stupid threads to it?


Good idea, but I think you posted that comment accidentally


----------



## Pugg

Can we have a locker room thread


----------



## SixFootScowl

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Good idea, but I think you posted that comment accidentally


Right. I accidentally posted it here and it should have been in the main forum so it would be taken seriously.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Schoenberg atonalsexual?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Thread Thread

A thread where you talk about thread.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Thread Thread
> 
> A thread where you talk about thread.


Poll: Do you prefer natural or synthetic thread?

1. Natural
2. Synthetic
3. Both
4. I don't do thread


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Thread Thread
> 
> A thread where you talk about thread.


Has this ever been done before or is it an innovative first?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Florestan said:


> Right. I accidentally posted it here and it should have been in the main forum so it would be taken seriously.


Now you have to start that forum, it's on you. The world is waiting!


----------



## millionrainbows

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Was Schoenberg atonalsexual?


I think that, like Einstein, he had a mild case of thinking way too much, and most of it outside the box.


----------



## millionrainbows

Donald Trump and the Internet: The Making of a World Leader


----------



## Scopitone

Here's a list of things I hate:

1. Everything
2. Everything Else.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Now you have to start that forum, it's on you. The world is waiting!


The only problem is whether anyone would be offended at their thread being moved to the Stupid Thread section of the TC forums. Of course it may not be the thread originator who had the stupid idea, but the thread could have simply gone off on a stupid off-topic discussion.

Maybe have stupid points. See who gets the most points for stupid posts. Stupid threads get you more points than stupid posts.


----------



## SixFootScowl

If I were King of the World...

"This thread ought to get shut down pretty quickly but hey, let's give it a try. So, I'll start:

All left handed people must pay a tax to cover extra costs for production of left handed scissors. We who are right do not want to pay a surcharge to help people who could at least learn to be ambidextrous.

[seriously, just in jest, no offence to lefties--for all anyone knows I may be a leftie too.]


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

millionrainbows said:


> Donald Trump and the Internet: The Making of a World Leader


Is he REALLY running for president? 

I still find it too hard to understand


----------



## hpowders

Definitive ToS agreements

Post No. 1: Many of us have been posting on a lot of forums. Have any of those ToS agreements stood out as definitive?
If so, post it here!!!


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> If Mozart was alive today would he be a poster on TC or a mod?


I think he would have joined this forum early in his life, get eventually permanently banned for posting obscenities (we all know his sense of humor), move to another forum while having an alternative, relatively low-profile account here. Everyone would know it's Mozart but for some reason he wouldn't get banned.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Was Schoenberg atonalsexual?


I thought that was Wagner............ or maybe that was Wagersexual?


----------



## Scopitone

Florestan said:


> The only problem is whether anyone would be offended at their thread being moved to the Stupid Thread section of the TC forums. Of course it may not be the thread originator who had the stupid idea, but the thread could have simply gone off on a stupid off-topic discussion.
> 
> Maybe have stupid points. See who gets the most points for stupid posts. Stupid threads get you more points than stupid posts.


No possible way to do this without hurting feelings -- and probably running off users. I feel bad enough sometimes coming to this thread and making parody "topics" based on stuff I see on the forum.

Not that it stops me.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Scopitone said:


> No possible way to do this without hurting feelings -- and probably running off users. I feel bad enough sometimes coming to this thread and making parody "topics" based on stuff I see on the forum.
> 
> Not that it stops me.


Right and not everyone will have the same ideas about what is stupid. Thankfully, the moderators will not embrace anything like that. For example, you cannot click "dislike" which I think is an option on some forums.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> I think he would have joined this forum early in his life, get eventually permanently banned for posting obscenities (we all know his sense of humor), move to another forum while having an alternative, relatively low-profile account here. Everyone would know it's Mozart but for some reason he wouldn't get banned.


If Mozart was banned around here, it would create a controversy even greater than that of Thiests vs. Atheists, if that's even possible.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> If Mozart was banned around here, it would create a controversy even greater than that of Thiests vs. Atheists, if that's even possible.


Perhaps a new web forum site titled, "The Not Mozart Classical Forums." First rule of the forum is you get banned if you even mention Mozart. Who would join it. A bunch of cretins?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> Perhaps a new web forum site titled, "The Not Mozart Classical Forums." First rule of the forum is you get banned if you even mention Mozart. Who would join it. A bunch of cretins?


Would they allow Mozart Dolls...................??


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Would they allow Mozart Dolls...................??


As in voodoo? Perhaps.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> As in voodoo? Perhaps.


I'll supply the pins.........


----------



## Dim7

Non-composers whose ballet non-music works as non-ballet music


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What is a Mozart Doll?


----------



## Pugg

Who are the Dolly Dots?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> What is a Mozart Doll?


Ref: Conundrums: Post 'em. Solutions desired but not required.


EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Two identical Mozart dolls are hanging on string tied to the ends of a stick.
> The stick is hanging on a third string tied to its centre. What happens when the right-hand Mozart doll is submerged in a glass of water?
> 
> a. Nothing.
> b. The stick tilts down to the left.
> c. The stick tilts down the right


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Who are the Dolly Dots?











Any more puzzles- just ask........


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> View attachment 89389
> 
> 
> Any more puzzles- just ask........


Now who the clever boy. :tiphat:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Do they have Mendelssohn dolls as well?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do they have Mendelssohn dolls as well?


I'm sure you can find some


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Do they have Mendelssohn dolls as well?


I am afraid not. He was not as popular. But with Mozart you also can get a bobble head:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> I am afraid not. He was not as popular. But with Mozart you also can get a bobble head:


Now that takes the cake. The real question now is how will it go in a microwave.........


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Is Edgard Varèse kidding?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is Edgard Varèse kidding?


Edgard Varèse - no I don't think he did much of that but me almost always..........



sospiro said:


> What happens to the Mozart doll if you microwave it?


----------



## millionrainbows

What IS a "Stupid Thread Idea?" We must explore the definition in six-hundred posts or more. Detailed definitions, please. List your sources.
BTW, the term "Astupid" will not be allowed.


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> What IS a "Stupid Thread Idea?" We must explore the definition in six-hundred posts or more. Detailed definitions, please. List your sources.
> BTW, the term "Astupid" will not be allowed.


How about the term "Igstupid"?


----------



## Dim7

millionrainbows said:


> What IS a "Stupid Thread Idea?" We must explore the definition in six-hundred posts or more. Detailed definitions, please. List your sources.
> BTW, the term "Astupid" will not be allowed.


We must distinguish between common practice stupidity and stupidity without functionality.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> What IS a "Stupid Thread Idea?" We must explore the definition in six-hundred posts or more. Detailed definitions, please. List your sources.
> BTW, the term "Astupid" will not be allowed.


How about TonalStupid or TStupid for short


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How about TonalStupid or TStupid for short


 That depends on the particular definition of stupidity. There is a general definition, which includes all stupidity created by Man, even 'primitive' and folk stupidity (Harvard Dictionary of Stupidity). Then there is the CP definition, which is stupidity created after the spread of Christianity. This definition is specific, and does not apply to Buddhist and Eastern stupidity.

What we really need is a unified field of stupidity theory.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Please, guys, this is getting too stupid for STI...


----------



## Dim7

millionrainbows said:


> That depends on the particular definition of stupidity. There is a general definition, which includes all stupidity created by Man, even 'primitive' and folk stupidity (Harvard Dictionary of Stupidity). Then there is the CP definition, which is stupidity created after the spread of Christianity. This definition is specific, and does not apply to Buddhist and Eastern stupidity.
> 
> What we really need is a unified field of stupidity theory.


The general definition is so broad that according to it everything is stupid. Intelligence, in the sense that is somehow fundamentally contradictory with stupidity in the broad sense, does not and cannot exist.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> That depends on the particular definition of stupidity. There is a general definition, which includes all stupidity created by Man, even 'primitive' and folk stupidity (Harvard Dictionary of Stupidity). Then there is the CP definition, which is stupidity created after the spread of Christianity. This definition is specific, and does not apply to Buddhist and Eastern stupidity.
> 
> What we really need is a unified field of stupidity theory.


You mean The General Theory of Relative Stupidity (GTRS) WOW, that will take some great minds to work that one out. We will need someone who can relate Energy, Momentum, Matter and Radiation into the big one, the biggest force in the Universe - Stupidity.................... Any takers or suggestions as this is the Ultimate Question!

Maybe Dim7 could volunteer?


----------



## ArtMusics Dad

Does Donald Trump support classical music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ArtMusics Dad said:


> Does Donald Trump support classical music?


Well we at least know he supports Stupidity..................


----------



## SixFootScowl

Dim7 said:


> We must distinguish between common practice stupidity and stupidity without functionality.


----------



## Scopitone

Florestan said:


> I am afraid not. He was not as popular. But with Mozart you also can get a bobble head:


Doesn't look enough like Tom Hulce.

Doll Fail.


----------



## Scopitone

If a comedy nerd got into a fight with a classical snob, who would win?


----------



## Scopitone

Why won't Hilary Hahn, Samantha Fish, and Sarah Jarosz go out with me? Preferably at the same time?


----------



## Scopitone

Thoughts on singers' overweight siblings?


----------



## Pugg

Scopitone said:


> Thoughts on singers' overweight siblings?


You " stole "my option!:lol:


----------



## Pugg

Scopitone said:


> Why won't Hilary Hahn, Samantha Fish, and Sarah Jarosz go out with me? Preferably at the same time?


Not making the right moves.......?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Scopitone said:


> If a comedy nerd got into a fight with a classical snob, who would win?


What kind of classical snob? 
I will vote for the comedy snob, comedians are still funny if they're insulting you


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

why has anyone i've ever met stopped talking to me after i meantion classical music??


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

If a funny guy and a boring serious guy got into a fight, who would you bet on?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Chuck Norris is not a funny gut but the jokes are.....................


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Chuck Norris is not a funny gut but the jokes are.....................


Who's a boring serious guy then?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

The worst classical Composers......besides Friendlyneighbourhood:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> The worst classical Composers......besides Friendlyneighbourhood:


EddieRUKiddingVarese


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> EddieRUKiddingVarese


Do you mean you or Mr Edgard?

If you, I think I'm worse


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Do you mean you or Mr Edgard?
> 
> If you, I think I'm worse


Not Mr Edgard- Check out my Blogs on here then decide......


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Not Mr Edgard- Check out my Blogs on here then decide......


That's not bad actually, I can't even TURN ON A GUITAR, can I even play a chord? NO :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> That's not bad actually, I can't even TURN ON A GUITAR, can I even play a chord? NO :lol:


Thanks don't get many not bads, maybe I'll have to try turning the guitar on


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Have changed my FBI status... or did I mean FB can't remember which one!


----------



## Dim7

Why do I torture my kids with waterboarding?


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> If a comedy nerd got into a fight with a classical snob, who would win?


The classical snob might win, if they had been influenced by their favorite opera singer to eat more garlic.


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> Why won't Hilary Hahn, Samantha Fish, and Sarah Jarosz go out with me? Preferably at the same time?


Because Sarah Jarosz don't cotton to no high-falutin' fiddle players mess in' with their sweet thang.


----------



## Scopitone

millionrainbows said:


> Because Sarah Jarosz don't cotton to no high-falutin' fiddle players mess in' with their sweet thang.


But surely Sarah likes some fiddle, though, to go with her guitar and mandolin?

Sigh. While women will always be a problem for us, er, me, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem.


----------



## Scopitone

Why are middle-aged people unpopular with opera?





(gracious, my "jokes" are hacky)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Why do I torture my kids with waterboarding?


Because it saves on pocket money and Laundry............


----------



## hpowders

*WHAT THE.........?*

Newbie here: In going through the threads here on TC, I notice there are more threads about leaving TC than there are about classical composers. Should I leave? Which leaving thread is the best?


----------



## Scopitone

I want to announce that I am leaving TC threads about leaving TC.


----------



## Dim7

Leave of Absence subforum


----------



## Dim7

talkaboutleavingthiswebsite.com


----------



## Dim7

donttalkclassicalbecausetalkingaboutmusicislikedancingaboutarchitecture.com

Ok these aren't thread ideas.


----------



## hpowders

Area 51:

Lost and Found

Post no 1: Is there a lost and found department on TC? I can't find my watch.
(PS: PM me if you found it: Rolex Submariner, diamond dial, estimated worth $37,000)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Area 51:
> 
> Lost and Found
> 
> Post no 1: Is there a lost and found department on TC? I can't find my watch.
> (PS: PM me if you found it: Rolex Submariner, diamond dial, estimated worth $37,000)


Any finders fee involved here?.......... I can refer you to my Nigerian Bank Account


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Any finders fee involved here?.......... I can refer you to my Nigerian Bank Account


Where could it be? I was posting on TC. My water was boiling for tea. I got up, turned it off and when I came back to the computer, it was gone. Anyone on TC have a pattern of doing this kind of thing?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Petition to add more emoticons to TC


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Where could it be? I was posting on TC. My water was boiling for tea. I got up, turned it off and when I came back to the computer, it was gone. Anyone on TC have a pattern of doing this kind of thing?


You to hey, sometimes when I come back the computer is gone too.................. Rough Neighbourhood but it usually turns out to be the Kangaroo who likes Stockhausen!


----------



## hpowders

Help Needed!

Post no.1: I am posting 600 times a day and it's been a blast but I need the name of a good barrister to sue this website because I post on Stupid Thread Ideas around 200 times a day and they won't give me credit. How long does it take to get results from this kind of suit?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You to hey, sometimes when I come back the computer is gone too.................. Rough Neighbourhood but it usually turns out to be the Kangaroo who likes Stockhausen!


I would take a marsupial who likes Stockhausen any day over the typically vapid female humans I have been approaching at local bars who believe in unison that Abraham Lincoln was the dude who ended the Vietnam war.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I would take a marsupial who likes Stockhausen any day over the typically vapid female humans I have been approaching at local bars who believe in unison that Abraham Lincoln was the dude who ended the Vietnam war.


As long as they are easy on the eye, I could forgive that for a day or two or more..... You know you could probably tell them anything and they would believe it - think of the possibilities...............


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

hpowders said:


> I would take a marsupial who likes Stockhausen any day over the typically vapid female humans I have been approaching at local bars who believe in unison that Abraham Lincoln was the dude who ended the Vietnam war.


I would take a marsupial who likes Stockhausen any day over anything!


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Do you get an annual gunshot?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^ Only when I'm chasing Kangaroo's to get my Stockhausen CD's back...............


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> ^ Only when I'm chasing Kangaroo's to get my Stockhausen CD's back...............


Those kangaroos have evolved listening to his work, they're now speaking twenty languages and booking tables at fancy restaurants!

Soon enough, they'll be planning to wipe us out....


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Why I'm struggling Haydn from the cops when I have a stash of illegal weapons in my trunk, should I buy a new car?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> ...who believe in unison that Abraham Lincoln was the dude who ended the Vietnam war.


No, that was Xenakiboy. Trust me, I've seen him do it.

The only wars I've been involved in are the Great Mendelssohn Wars of TalkClassical Forums. It does not need to be said that I frankly started those wars instead of putting them to a stop.


----------



## Dim7

*Classical as background music for evil conduct*

Lately I've been feeling a bit guilty about listening to classical music while committing murder, theft and other acts of evil and depravity that are too horrible to describe in detail on a family friendly forum. I feel like I'm defiling the music when I do that. Do you think it's okay or should I go with something that is considered more traditionally appropriate for that kind of thing, like extreme metal or gangsta rap for example?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> *Classical as background music for evil conduct*
> 
> Lately I've been feeling a bit guilty about listening to classical music while committing murder, theft and other acts of evil and depravity that are too horrible to describe in detail on a family friendly forum. I feel like I'm defiling the music when I do that. Do you think it's okay or should I go with something that is considered more traditionally appropriate for that kind of thing, like extreme metal or gangsta rap for example?


I'd go with ABBA


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'd go with ABBA


I'd suggest Mahler.


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'd go with ABBA


Not Varese?......................


----------



## Genoveva

Dim7 said:


> *Classical as background music for evil conduct*
> 
> Lately I've been feeling a bit guilty about listening to classical music while committing murder, theft and other acts of evil and depravity that are too horrible to describe in detail on a family friendly forum. I feel like I'm defiling the music when I do that. Do you think it's okay or should I go with something that is considered more traditionally appropriate for that kind of thing, like extreme metal or gangsta rap for example?


You'll be OK continuing with classical provided it was written before 1098 AD and after 2015. It's in the ToS; look under "murderers". It's not a great choice of music but that's tough. If you dig around a bit you should find something that's worth listening to.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> *WHAT THE.........?*
> 
> Newbie here: In going through the threads here on TC, I notice there are more threads about leaving TC than there are about classical composers. Should I leave? Which leaving thread is the best?


Even if you're a newbie, the "I'm Leaving Now" type of thread is always the best. It's personalized just for you. Just start your own.

You can make dramatic goodbyes, thank old friends, and make oblique references to the specific threads and posters who gave you such grief.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Leave of Absence subforum


Leave of Absence but I Changed My Mind subforum


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You to hey, sometimes when I come back the computer is gone too.................. Rough Neighbourhood but it usually turns out to be the Kangaroo who likes Stockhausen!


The Kangaroos' favorite Stockhausen performance is the Helicopter Quartet, because they are the only ones who can jump up high enough to see it.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> *Classical as background music for evil conduct*
> 
> Lately I've been feeling a bit guilty about listening to classical music while committing murder, theft and other acts of evil and depravity that are too horrible to describe in detail on a family friendly forum.


Sorry, the Nazis already did that with Wagner and R. Strauss.


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> Sorry, the Nazis already did that with Wagner and R. Strauss.


Thankfully, Mendelssohn (being Jewish by birth) was spared from being used by the Nazi regime. Though they did rewrite history to omit him from their heritage.


----------



## Dim7

God News about Creationism!

I'll get my coat...


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> Not Varese?......................


Varese is party music, totally inappropriate for a neighborhood homicide


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Not Varese?......................


I'd say *evil conduct *is more likely to require an Opera!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite composers from Medieval Niebelung.

Post no. 1: You Tube clips would be helpful.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Can I have facts about Beethoven? (I don't yet know that google exists)


----------



## Pugg

How paranoid can one be .


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> How paranoid can one be .


Just wait, I've got to hide the body. I know someone will knock on that door any minute and catch me, I just know it


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Just wait, I've got to hide the body. I know someone will knock on that door any minute and catch me, I just know it


Caught Ya, Your nicked matey!


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Caught Ya, Your nicked matey!


Aww man!!! I get you're going to lock me and Pugg in your cab and take us to prison now 

Can we bribe you?


----------



## Pugg

Leave me out :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Aww man!!! I get you're going to lock me and Pugg in your cab and take us to prison now
> 
> Can we bribe you?


hmmmm let me think, well Vinyl is always good......... and I could use new Kitchen!


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> Leave me out :lol:


You're the one who came up with the idea and convinced me to poison his tea, you can't pin it on me! 
Plus, you stuck a cork in his head and starting getting at his brain juices....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> You're the one who came up with the idea and convinced me to poison his tea, you can't pin it on me!
> Plus, you stuck a cork in his head and starting getting at his brain juices....


Good god done by my own poison Teafee. Should have known that pungent aroma was quite right ahhhh. 
Why is my head hurting....?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Good god done by my own poison Teafee. Should have known that pungent aroma was quite right ahhhh.
> Why is my head hurting....?


It's going to be just fine 

hurry Pugg, hit him with your with your cricket bat!!!!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

It's ok, you can keep the Kitchen..............


----------



## Dim7

When will Dim7 finally take the sword out of his head and the irritating grin from his face?


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> It's ok, you can keep the Kitchen..............
> View attachment 89475


No room in the inn, sorry.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Poll: *I've run out of room in my Inn, how do I help Eddie out?*

1. Help him out
2. How would I know
3. Yes
4. Pay his lawyer


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Poll: *I've run out of room in my Inn, how do I help Eddie out?*
> 
> 1. Help him out
> 2. How would I know
> 3. Yes
> 4. Pay his lawyer










Help.....................


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> View attachment 89477
> 
> Help.....................


Okay, you can have the spare room, not big, but enough space for a goodnight rest .


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Composer Guestbooks: Krysztof Penpineappleapplependerecki


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> Okay, you can have the spare room, not big, but enough space for a goodnight rest .


What will you do to him??????


----------



## Pugg

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> What will you do to him??????


What are you thinking, nothing, he has to find his own way around in this neck of the woods.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> What are you thinking, nothing, he has to find his own way around in this neck of the woods.


GREAT IDEA PUGG!!!! We break his neck with a block of wood and feed him to the crocodiles!!!! 
Thanks Pugg, where would I be without your helpful suggestions!!! :tiphat:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Tips on how to post more often in Stupid Thread Ideas


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

At Curtis, my music history teacher said there were twins, Boris Gudinov and Boris Badinov competing for Russian rule.
Can anyone here verify this? 
I hope this post was good enough, because I have many, many, many more.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Using the Stupid Thread Ideas thread to boost your post count.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Tips on how to post more often in Stupid Thread Ideas


State the same stupid thread idea in many posts, each time worded differently.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Make (to be continued)


----------



## SixFootScowl

continued: Your (to be continued)


----------



## SixFootScowl

continued: Post (to be continued)


----------



## SixFootScowl

continued: Count (to be continued)


----------



## SixFootScowl

continued: go up (to be continued)


----------



## SixFootScowl

continued: Quickly.


----------



## Dim7

Pointy group


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

How to spam with two word posts


----------



## hpowders

I now have hope!!

Post no. 1: Now that Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize for literature, I'm hoping the committee doesn't overlook my collection of posts for next year's award.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

If I murder my wife but forgot I murdered her, can I still be locked up?



....I've got a problem here...


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Tips on how to post more often in Stupid Thread Ideas


Smoke lots and lots of weed!


----------



## hpowders

Moravian/Portuguese quartets vs. Barbershop quartets.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> GREAT IDEA PUGG!!!! We break his neck with a block of wood and feed him to the crocodiles!!!!
> Thanks Pugg, where would I be without your helpful suggestions!!! :tiphat:


And to think that I was planning on playing an extending version of *Poème électronique, I guess I could use the block of wood in that...........*


----------



## Flamme

hpowders said:


> I now have hope!!
> 
> Post no. 1: Now that Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize for literature, I'm hoping the committee doesn't overlook my collection of posts for next year's award.


My man got BARS...


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> And to think that I was planning on playing an extending version of *Poème électronique, I guess I could use the block of wood in that...........*


(It's just listening to that yesterday actually!)

Am I a moral man of god?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Tips to prop up my bdsm collection?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Oh BDSM my collections is rather large. For Bach I would say Fugue - in D Minor, for Dvořák I would recommend the Symphonic Variations*, *for Sibelius Fugue for Martin and for Mozart take your pick..... Pretty good BDSM selection I think.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh BDSM my collections is rather large. For Bach I would say Fugue - in D Minor, for Dvořák I would recommend the Symphonic Variations*, *for Sibelius Fugue for Martin and for Mozart take your pick..... Pretty good BDSM selection I think.


Bach Dvorak Sibelius Mahler


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Mozart is for encounters with cartoon characters and people dressed in questionable costumes...


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Why can't I stop taking my junk out of my trunk?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Mozart is for encounters with cartoon characters and people dressed in questionable costumes...


:lol: My BDSM would be Boulez, Debussy, Stockhausen & Messiaen.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Thread: *Help Me Commit A Felony!*


----------



## Guest

Bob Dylan fully deserves his Nobel Prize.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Am I a thread idea?


----------



## Dim7

Discussion Thread for TC Randomly Generated Piano Trio List


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

My wife died: What is the best way to celebrate?


----------



## hpowders

Book Sale!

Post no. 1: Get my latest edition of "How to post the same thread, over and over, changing a word or two each time, so nobody will notice".
Completely revised and updated for today's modern classical poster.
PM me today for fluctuating latest prices!


----------



## hpowders

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> My wife died: What is the best way to celebrate?


With some of Willie Nelson's medicinal herb.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What is a wife?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

You're absolutely a hamburger!


----------



## Blancrocher

*I'm getting a little bit tired of pop musicians winning the Nobel Prize for Literature*


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> What is a wife?


A female that cleans my house and stops giving pleasure after a month of marriage....


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Blancrocher said:


> *I'm getting a little bit tired of pop musicians winning the Nobel Prize for Literature*


But pop lyrics are really deep and meaningful??


----------



## Blancrocher

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> But pop lyrics are really deep and meaningful??


Could've been worse, I suppose--like they might have given it to an opera librettist.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Lazy Thread Ideas:

Starting with;

*The Greatest Classical Composer 
Worst 20th Century Composer (Or variants)
Threads related to Bach, Mozart or Beethoven 
Currently Listening 
Why does pop music suck?*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> A female that cleans my house and stops giving please after a month of marriage....


I thought wife was a synonym for Johann Sebastian Bach?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> I thought wife was a synonym for Johann Sebastian Bach?


I killed her, it felt good! I was awarded by the cops for doing a noble service


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> I killed her, it felt good! I was awarded by the cops for doing a noble service


Are you by any chance an oculist?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Are you by any chance an oculist?


No, I just like killing people! 
Would you like to be next? It could be special?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Chicken Nugget Mendelssohn appreciation thread.


----------



## Dim7

Posters whose non-opera posts work as opera libretto


----------



## Razumovskymas

Is not listening to Beethoven useful or is it just Beethoven-avoidance?


----------



## Dim7

Foot network


----------



## millionrainbows

What Was Beethoven So Mad About?


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> What Was Beethoven So Mad About?


His shorts were in a bunch and he never could get them straightened out.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

millionrainbows said:


> what was beethoven so mad about?


beethoven mad? Beethoven smash!!!!!!!


----------



## Dim7

See hpowders vs. Dim7 improvised STI battle streamed on YouTube!! No lip-sync or playback, completely 100% authentic live performance


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> What Was Beethoven So Mad About?


Bob Dylan winning Nobel prize for Literature............. The main reason he went deaf too, so he could not hear Bob sing!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> I killed her, it felt good! I was awarded by the cops for doing a noble service


Caught Ya, Your nicked again matey!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Weeaboo Subforum


----------



## SixFootScowl

You are what you think. Don't let excessive time spent on Stupid Thread Ideas do this to you:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> Weeaboo Subforum










................................


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Caught Ya, Your nicked again matey!
> 
> View attachment 89515


Aw man, you're no fun 
Can I bribe you? Now that Pugg betrayed me with her feminine charm?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Aw man, you're no fun
> Can I bribe you? Now that Pugg betrayed me with her feminine charm?


You'll need to write a symphony for Tuba, Triangle and Banjo utilising a Mellotron and get it published in my name........ and it must win a Noble prize.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> You are what you think. Don't let excessive time spent on Stupid Thread Ideas do this to you:


That's ok I don't use it much anyway. 
All the hard work is done by my 8088 chip, just don't ask me to multi-task anything.............


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You'll need to write a symphony for Tuba, Triangle and Banjo utilising a Mellotron and get it published in my name........ and it must win a Noble prize.


I can write a silent symphony? that is the maxim of my composition abilities.......


----------



## Pugg

In A or D Major


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> In A or D Major


A Major I think


----------



## SixFootScowl

Do you think maybe perhaps that there is something to this process whereby there are--oh I forgot!

Please help me remember what I wanted to talk about that I forgot while trying to make a direct and to-the-point thread title.

[NOTE: the worst part about a thread title like this is that, even if he had remembered the main topic of the thread, it is way far to the right where it will never be seen in the thread listings without opening the thread.]


----------



## hpowders

For all those who come to TC looking for others to do their research for them in order to further their career choices:

Post no. 1: I can help:

MA $6742

MS $6965

PhD $18,472

MD $37,696

TC Assistant Mod $16.95

TC Full Mod $21.48

PM me with exact requirements!!


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Weeaboo Subforum


Operas based on anime


----------



## Dim7

*Poster replacement bots*

Want to take a vacation from your posting duties, but don't feel like you can afford to do so? Don't want to leave the forum for your enemies without you fighting them back or perhaps afraid that others will miss you? Now you can have your cake and eat it too!

For a reasonable price we offer customized poster bots designed to simulate your posting personality. The bot will read and analyze everything you have written on the forum, imitating your writing style and your tendencies to react in specific ways to specific content. You can also manually fine tune the AI of your bot to make it even more realistic. Sometimes the bot may end up being a better version of you, allowing you to retire from the forum entirely. PM us now!


----------



## Dim7

Whos good at music denigration pm please


----------



## millionrainbows

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Can I bribe you? Now that Pugg betrayed me with her feminine charm?


Is Pugg a man or a woman? Enquiring, twisted minds want to know.


----------



## millionrainbows

I'm Having A Problem With Mahler

I can't figure it out. I sit down and listen intently to one of his symphonies for five minutes every day.


----------



## millionrainbows

I Finally Understand Mozart!!!

It took a lot of doing, and hands-on involvement, but I'm there! I have on makeup, lipstick, a powdered wig, I'm drinking wine & eating caviar, laughing inanely, and…this is the most exciting part…I'm wearing the most exquisite silk undies! The music is coming through like never before! ~Tee hee!~


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Currently Pretending To Listen To vol VII


----------



## Dim7

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Currently Pretending To Listen To vol VII


I posted this kind of STI ages ago but got like one like at best. If your post gets more than one like I'm outraged.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

millionrainbows said:


> Is Pugg a man or a woman? Enquiring, twisted minds want to know.


Appears to be a very very attractive woman, I want to date her. I wish she lived in NY, but it says she lives in The Netherlands


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Currently Wanting To Listen To vol XI


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> I posted this kind of STI ages ago but got like one like at best. If your post gets more than one like I'm outraged.


Ah Ha, he's got one so far..............


----------



## millionrainbows

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Appears to be a very very attractive woman, I want to date her. I wish she lived in NY, but it says she lives in The Netherlands


She told me she was a man, but I think that was just to get rid of me. Her avatar drives me crazy!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> I Finally Understand Mozart!!!
> 
> It took a lot of doing, and hands-on involvement, but I'm there! I have on makeup, lipstick, a powdered wig, I'm drinking wine & eating caviar, laughing inanely, and…this is the most exciting part…I'm wearing the most exquisite silk undies! The music is coming through like never before! ~Tee hee!~


Good God is seems to work Mozart loud and clear and I did have to even dress up much............ Already had the silk undies on!


----------



## millionrainbows

Bruckner, conducted by Klemperer: An immovable object meets an immovable object. The result? Almost total entropy, gooey, drippy, thick like week-old maple syrup…I just put on the Third, and the air turned to cottage cheese…can't breathe…someone help…I'm frozen…can't move…trouble swallowing….can't speak...


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> I posted this kind of STI ages ago but got like one like at best. If your post gets more than one like I'm outraged.


Will your powdered cheeks turn bright red? Will you ruin your silk undies?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

*Why are there so many cases of people staying on TC?*


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

millionrainbows said:


> I Finally Understand Mozart!!!
> 
> It took a lot of doing, and hands-on involvement, but I'm there! I have on makeup, lipstick, a powdered wig, I'm drinking wine & eating caviar, laughing inanely, and…this is the most exciting part…I'm wearing the most exquisite silk undies! The music is coming through like never before! ~Tee hee!~


I started listening to Mozart and I *never* realised I was a closet homosexual!!!


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

*Why are there so many weird cases of people suing TC for compensation? *


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> I started listening to Mozart and I *never* realised I was a closet homosexual!!!


How do you stop someone from ignorantly stereotyping homosexuals?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are people on TC really their avatars?

If that is the case, I think Felix Mendelssohn Bartholdy ought to see a therapist.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How do you stop someone from ignorantly stereotyping homosexuals?


Turn gay????...............


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Turn gay????...............


You don't need to be part of a certain group of people to be able to respect them.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> You don't need to be part of a certain group of people to be able to respect them.


Well, I am actually Bi.


----------



## Pugg

Bi lingual? ...........................


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> Bi lingual? ...........................


I like woman *and* men


----------



## Pugg

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> I like woman *and* men


Okay, that's clear then. :cheers:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What tune is this? Can you identify while I whistle it badly out of tune..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Okay, that's clear then. :cheers:


I'm more for Tri-Sexual


----------



## Kieran

I think a good idea for a thread would be one in which we all honour the new Nobel laureate Bob Dylan, by writing our posts in his voice. Something this:

I was just, uh, _walkin'_ [some words get extra emphasis] when I saw a clown, uh, he wuz hopscotchin' through a minefield with a, uh, yuh know, big cheesy grin on his face, and like, uh, yuh know, a giant _drum_ under his arm. I said, whatcha _dooooin'?_ But he wasn't doin' nuthin', just clownin' round. But that's not how I made it home, no, that's how I discovered _Beat_hoven..."


----------



## Flamme

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> *Why are there so many cases of people staying on TC?*


Once you get hooked, wherever you roam, you end up in here...


----------



## Judith

Has anyone had a bit too much at a party and fallen, hit eye on stool like I did last Saturday night. Eye a bit sore but dignity is painful. I was mortified!!


----------



## Kieran

Judith said:


> Has anyone had a bit too much at a party and fallen, hit eye on stool like I did last Saturday night. Eye a bit sore but dignity is painful. I was mortified!!


I once landed on my eye, but I didn't mind. I'd been looking for it all day... :tiphat:


----------



## millionrainbows

John Corigliano, after his success with his opera The Great Gatsby, has a new opera in the works: The Kardashians.


----------



## Judith

Kieran said:


> I once landed on my eye, but I didn't mind. I'd been looking for it all day... :tiphat:


Funny!!!! Love it!


----------



## hpowders

Sorry to get back to the topic. 

Help Needed!!

Post no. 1: I've been posting here for 7 months but nobody "likes" my posts.
Is it too late to introduce myself under "New Members. Introductions"? Could it help?
Getting desperate here. I'm so lonely!


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Best operas to commit suicide to?


----------



## hpowders

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Best operas to commit suicide to?


Post no. 1: I can name 4 Gluck operas that would be perfect. PM for best results.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm more for Tri-Sexual


Post no. 1: In NYC we have a bridge just for folks like you. It's called the Tri-borough Bridge. Tri-sexuals pass through toll free with valid identity cards. Nothing tri-vial about it. NYC tolls are very high!


----------



## hpowders

Songwriter needed:

Post no. 1: I've written a folk-song and need it set to music in typical American folksong style. 

It's called:

"Where have all the avatars gone?" :guitar:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Post no. 1: In NYC we have a bridge just for folks like you. It's called the Tri-borough Bridge. Tri-sexuals pass through toll free with valid identity cards. Nothing tri-vial about it. NYC tolls are very high!


Really high hey, even let you thru if your a Tri-sexual Transvestite from Transylvania a TTT.


----------



## hpowders

Tag Name Change Department

Post no. 1: Hello administrator. Hope I find you in good health today. Since I have 76.3% of the TC posters on "ignore", I thought I might as well change my tag to "Firewall". Okay? One more thing. Any fee for this?


----------



## hpowders

The Hi!! Thread

Post no. 1: No. I crashed a few hours ago, actually.


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

Post no. 1: I will attempt to expose my nephew to classical music tomorrow. I can't decide. Should it be the Schoenberg Violin Concerto or the Schoenberg Piano Concerto? I want to do the right thing and not turn him off.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Help me, a website called Talk Classical wants to kill me


----------



## hpowders

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Best operas to commit suicide to?


I'm thinking of actually posting this in the main opera forum. Wonder how many complaints it would get from the opera "seriosos"?


----------



## hpowders

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Help me, a website called Talk Classical wants to kill me


In the ToS, it states you're on your own.


----------



## hpowders

TC Posters' Encouragement Thread

Post no. 1: Just remember: a thread is not stupid unless you yourself believe it to be so.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

hpowders said:


> TC Posters' Encouragement Thread
> 
> Post no. 1: Just remember: a thread is not stupid unless you yourself believe it to be so.


Is Mozart good music to listen to or should I stick to Beethoven?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Is Mozart good music to listen to or should I stick to Beethoven?


Neither. You should listen to Mendelssohn.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Florestan said:


> Neither. You should listen to Mendelssohn.


Mendel who???????????


----------



## SixFootScowl

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Mendel who???????????


----------



## Dim7

Why do I kid my torturers with... 4'33''?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why do I like Mendelssohn?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Florestan said:


> Neither. You should listen to Mendelssohn.


I elect to second this notion.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Threads You Have Given Up On--List Them Here


----------



## Dim7

Threads you would not like to see bumped - list them here


----------



## millionrainbows

You'd Argue With A Postmodernist

Schoenberg: The Cabaret Songs
Schoenberg: The Rehab Songs
Berg: The Early Morphine Songs
Webern: The "I don't know what it was, I found it growing in the woods, some kind of fungus" Songs


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Dim7 said:


> Why do I kid my torturers with... 4'33''?


Dad? Dad? Dad? Talk to me dad??

Dad???? 
(calls 911)


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why do I like Mendelssohn?


Probably childhood trauma


----------



## millionrainbows

Mendelssohn: The Newly Discovered Earlier String Symphonies, written when he was only 6 years old. 

They are not as consistent as his later ones, written when he was 12, and some of the scores had to be reconstructed because of smeared crayon, caused by grape jelly. 

The last one is uncompleted, as he supposedly had a huge temper tantrum before it was finished.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Why do I kid my torturers with... 4'33''?


For a more drawn out experience, I would recommend ASLSP


----------



## Dim7

How many things exactly there are in the universe?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Just Dim7 I think............. but I could have miscounted............

Counting again will let you know.


----------



## Flamme




----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Would the universe be better off without Mendelssohn?


----------



## hpowders

Psychology Section (Members Only. Enter 11 digit code you received on joining).

What's wrong with me?

Post no. 1: I never dream about opera singers. What's wrong with me?


----------



## millionrainbows

Which is better: Mozart or Moe's art?

Search Results


----------



## SixFootScowl

I vote for Moe's Art for sure!


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Would the universe be better off without Mendelssohn?


The universe DESERVES to be without Mendelssohn for it's lack of appreciation of this great master composer!


----------



## millionrainbows

Florestan said:


> I vote for Moe's Art for sure!


Why, I oughta….


----------



## SixFootScowl

Stupid thread idea #10736: "Stupid Thread Ideas"

Oops, that was what started this whole mess.

Can we go back in time to July 2014 and just not do it? Look where it has got us. Nowhere in 10735 posts.


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> Which is better: Mozart or Moe's art?


Don't forget the diva who can sing those Moe's art arias:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*My upcoming composition*

Hey guys, I'm a fairly new composer but I have a great idea for my first composition. I'm not one for half-measures, so I want to make my debut with something rather grand.
My composition will be scored for the following instruments:

5 piccolos
10 flutes
50 clarinets (I love clarinets!!!)
2 alto clarinets
4 bass clarinets
11 oboes
7 English horns
10 bassoons
8 contrabassoons
30 horns
25 trumpets :trp:
20 trombones
15 tubas
20 percussionists playing various instruments
a string section of 500 people
two organs
eight pianos
three celestas
19 harpsichords
a choir of 1000 people 
a large elephant
Dim7 and CoAG

I haven't written for orchestra before, but how hard can it be really?
Anyway, I plan to write three movements: the ego, the id and the superego. Each movement will be about two or three hours long, because as I say I really don't like half measures. These three movements will be followed by a four-hour opera as light entertainment before the second half starts. The second half will be an exact repetition of the first, because I'm lazy :lol:

Anyway, I'm really into this, so it should be finished in a month or so. I've never had any musical experience before - I don't know how to write music lol - but I've watched Amadeus and that Mozart seemed pretty silly and if he can be famous why can't I be famous I'm really clever and intelligent lol, my mum told me so.

Love you guys! :kiss:


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hey guys, I'm a fairly new composer but I have a great idea for my first composition. I'm not one for half-measures, so I want to make my debut with something rather grand.
> My composition will be scored for the following instruments:
> 
> 
> 5 piccolos
> 10 flutes
> 50 clarinets (I love clarinets!!!)
> 2 alto clarinets
> 4 bass clarinets
> 11 oboes
> 7 English horns
> 10 bassoons
> 8 contrabassoons
> 30 horns
> 25 trumpets :trp:
> 20 trombones
> 15 tubas
> 20 percussionists playing various instruments
> a string section of 500 people
> two organs
> eight pianos
> three celestas
> 19 harpsichords
> a choir of 1000 people
> a large elephant
> Dim7 and CoAG
> 
> 
> I haven't written for orchestra before, but how hard can it be really?
> Anyway, I plan to write three movements: the ego, the id and the superego. Each movement will be about two or three hours long, because as I say I really don't like half measures. These three movements will be followed by a four-hour opera as light entertainment before the second half starts. The second half will be an exact repetition of the first, because I'm lazy :lol:
> 
> Anyway, I'm really into this, so it should be finished in a month or so. I've never had any musical experience before - I don't know how to write music lol - but I've watched Amadeus and that Mozart seemed pretty silly and if he can be famous why can't I be famous I'm really clever and intelligent lol, my mum told me so.
> 
> Love you guys! :kiss:


Sound good on paper.


----------



## Flamme

Are there any *S & B* members in here?! It is well known spooks like a good classical tune once in a while!


----------



## SixFootScowl

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hey guys, I'm a fairly new composer but I have a great idea for my first composition. I'm not one for half-measures, so I want to make my debut with something rather grand.
> My composition will be scored for the following instruments:
> 
> 5 piccolos
> 10 flutes
> 50 clarinets (I love clarinets!!!)
> 2 alto clarinets
> 4 bass clarinets
> 11 oboes
> 7 English horns
> 10 bassoons
> 8 contrabassoons
> 30 horns
> 25 trumpets :trp:
> 20 trombones
> 15 tubas
> 20 percussionists playing various instruments
> a string section of 500 people
> two organs
> eight pianos
> three celestas
> 19 harpsichords
> a choir of 1000 people
> a large elephant
> Dim7 and CoAG
> 
> I haven't written for orchestra before, but how hard can it be really?
> Anyway, I plan to write three movements: the ego, the id and the superego. Each movement will be about two or three hours long, because as I say I really don't like half measures. These three movements will be followed by a four-hour opera as light entertainment before the second half starts. The second half will be an exact repetition of the first, because I'm lazy :lol:
> 
> Anyway, I'm really into this, so it should be finished in a month or so. I've never had any musical experience before - I don't know how to write music lol - but I've watched Amadeus and that Mozart seemed pretty silly and if he can be famous why can't I be famous I'm really clever and intelligent lol, my mum told me so.
> 
> Love you guys! :kiss:


Have you considered adding a couple of gongs?


----------



## Dim7

How many times you read a post before you give up on it and accept you'll probably never come to like it? I've read this "Ok, I understood" post by Dim7 around 100 000 times now and I still find it rather banal and unimpressive. When should I stop?


----------



## hpowders

Conductor News

Post no. 1: Bobbie Burns was recently promoted from conductor to motorman on the Penn Central, 8:33 AM to Stanford, Connecticut.


----------



## Flamme

I need 2 tie my shoe...


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hey guys, I'm a fairly new composer but I have a great idea for my first composition. I'm not one for half-measures, so I want to make my debut with something rather grand.
> My composition will be scored for the following instruments:
> 
> 
> 5 piccolos
> 10 flutes
> 50 clarinets (I love clarinets!!!)
> 2 alto clarinets
> 4 bass clarinets
> 11 oboes
> 7 English horns
> 10 bassoons
> 8 contrabassoons
> 30 horns
> 25 trumpets :trp:
> 20 trombones
> 15 tubas
> 20 percussionists playing various instruments
> a string section of 500 people
> two organs
> eight pianos
> three celestas
> 19 harpsichords
> a choir of 1000 people
> a large elephant
> Dim7 and CoAG


What? No contrabass flute?

​


----------



## millionrainbows

New nicknames for famous works:

Beethoven's Sixth "Get Outta the Rain, Stupid!"


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers who should be Pokemon


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hey guys, I'm a fairly new composer but I have a great idea for my first composition. I'm not one for half-measures, so I want to make my debut with something rather grand.
> My composition will be scored for the following instruments:
> 
> 5 piccolos
> 10 flutes
> 50 clarinets (I love clarinets!!!)
> 2 alto clarinets
> 4 bass clarinets
> 11 oboes
> 7 English horns
> 10 bassoons
> 8 contrabassoons
> 30 horns
> 25 trumpets
> 20 trombones
> 15 tubas
> 20 percussionists playing various instruments
> a string section of 500 people
> two organs
> eight pianos
> three celestas
> 19 harpsichords
> a choir of 1000 people
> a large elephant
> Dim7 and CoAG
> 
> I haven't written for orchestra before, but how hard can it be really?
> Anyway, I plan to write three movements: the ego, the id and the superego. Each movement will be about two or three hours long, because as I say I really don't like half measures. These three movements will be followed by a four-hour opera as light entertainment before the second half starts. The second half will be an exact repetition of the first, because I'm lazy :lol:
> 
> Anyway, I'm really into this, so it should be finished in a month or so. I've never had any musical experience before - I don't know how to write music lol - but I've watched Amadeus and that Mozart seemed pretty silly and if he can be famous why can't I be famous I'm really clever and intelligent lol, my mum told me so.
> 
> Love you guys!


Best post I've ever read!


----------



## hpowders

Great idea section.

I have one!

Let's post real pictures of ourselves as avatars and have the rest of the members try and guess which famous composers they were. I will say "Beethoven" if they ask about my photo, so no one else use Beethoven, okay?


----------



## hpowders

Who's your favorite obscure poster?

Post no. 1: Please let's not make this a popularity contest.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Great idea section.
> 
> I have one!
> 
> Let's post real pictures of ourselves as avatars and have the rest of the members try and guess which famous composers they were. I will say "Beethoven" if they ask about my photo, so no one else use Beethoven, okay?


Ok I'll go first ..........


----------



## hpowders

If Tchaikovsky was posting here, would Madame von Meck be on his friends' list as an internet friend?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

New to composition, who are some obscure composers I can rip off note-for-note to get and claim as my own? I want to be famous


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composers who should be Pokemon


Schubert ..................


----------



## Pugg

Members who should be pokemon .


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> Great idea section.
> 
> I have one!
> 
> Let's post real pictures of ourselves as avatars and have the rest of the members try and guess which famous composers they were. I will say "Beethoven" if they ask about my photo, so no one else use Beethoven, okay?


I'm calling dibs on Mendelssohn!


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> Members who should be pokemon .


Do you want to be one?


----------



## millionrainbows

Shostakovich's 6th Symphony, first movement: Waiting for Stalin


----------



## millionrainbows

Themes Which Suddenly Disappear In Shostakovich Symphonies: Do These Represent People He knew?

Do Recurring, Obsessive Sounds In Shostakovich Symphonies Represent Phones Ringing Incessantly, With No Answering, Ever Again?

Are All Pleasant Moments In Shostakovich Symphonies Simply a Front to Fool the Authorities?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Mozart exceptionally perverted?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Was Mozart exceptionally perverted?


Suggest checking with Dim7


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

If you could only take two Richard Strauss works to a desert Island?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> I'm calling dibs on Mendelssohn!


You have a thing for that guy?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Did Mozart have low IQ?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Did Mozart have low IQ?


Yes he did, yes he did


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mendelssohn wasn't a human, he was 99 cicadas in a Victorian frock coat.


----------



## Flamme

:lol:


----------



## SixFootScowl

If you could throw one Richard Strauss work into a fire on a desert island?


----------



## hpowders

Social group being organized for TC misanthropes.

Post no. 1: If I don't hear from you, I will know you wish to join.


----------



## millionrainbows

If Shostakovich had taken peyote, would he have gotten even more paranoid?


----------



## millionrainbows

If you were on a desert island, starving, would you eat a Richard Strauss CD?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Do You Like Going?


----------



## hpowders

Confessions section: 

Post no. 1: How could Richard Strauss have known me? His Ein Heldenleben is me exactly!


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> I'm calling dibs on Mendelssohn!


I thought it was a young Abraham Lincoln.


----------



## hpowders

If the sun was burning down on you on a desert island, would you trade in all your Mozart CDs to get 12 ounces of sunblock at the natives' general store? (A Donald Trump concession)


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> If the sun was burning down on you on a desert island, would you trade in all your Mozart CDs to get 12 ounces of sunblock at the natives' general store? (A Donald Trump concession)


No but I would trade them for one Mahler cycle.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> No but I would trade them for one Mahler cycle.


Burn baby burn!!! :lol::lol:


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

hpowders said:


> If the sun was burning down on you on a desert island, would you trade in all your Mozart CDs to get 12 ounces of sunblock at the natives' general store? (A Donald Trump concession)


I would flirt with some sexy native ladies to get a nice relaxing home for the night, or perhaps propose to her


----------



## hpowders

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> I would flirt with some sexy native ladies to get a nice relaxing home for the night, or perhaps propose to her


You could tell her you have a great job, opening coconuts.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> You have a thing for that guy?


You know, I could really use a nice Victorian frock coat and a wicked collection of cicada husks.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Poll:* Do you like cicadas?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Somebody quote this post in their blog, thanks :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite composers that start with WAGNER.


----------



## hpowders

Relationship Advice Department:

Post no. 1: I'm trying to get a girl to like classical music but she says she not only hates classical music but she also hates everything about me and never wants to see me again. So what's the best way for me to proceed?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

hpowders said:


> Your favorite composers that start with WAGNER.


Your favourite composers that end with Mahler


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

hpowders said:


> Relationship Advice Department:
> 
> Post no. 1: I'm trying to get a girl to like classical music but she says she not only hates classical music but she also hates everything about me and never wants to see me again. So what's the best way for me to proceed?


Stalk her, she will eventually realise she was wrong about you! :tiphat:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Stalk her, she will eventually realise she was wrong about you! :tiphat:


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> Relationship Advice Department:
> 
> Post no. 1: I'm trying to get a girl to like classical music but she says she not only hates classical music but she also hates everything about me and never wants to see me again. So what's the best way for me to proceed?


She really seems to be into hate. Tell her you hate her too and you hate her music. Then maybe she will see that the two of you could really do a lot of hating together.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Florestan said:


> She really seems to be into hate. Tell her you hate her too and you hate her music. Then maybe she will see that the two of you could really do a lot of hating together.


Then have children together and hate your kids too?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> Your favorite composers that start with WAGNER.


Wagnermendelssohncicada.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Wagnermendelssohncicada.


Best composer I've ever heard :tiphat:


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Wagnermendelssohncicada.


Mendelssohnlincoln sounds better


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Most Delicious Composers


----------



## Dim7

I'm giving Leif Segerstam's Symphony No. 309 a 309th try.


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Wagnermendelssohncicada.


You beat me to it!! Same with me!!


----------



## hpowders

Best classical music to provide background music for an 8 year old boy's birthday party?


----------



## hpowders

I'm giving Mahler's Eighth Symphony a seventh try. Real time updates!!


----------



## Pugg

Do you like going to the doctor.


----------



## hpowders

Help Wanted: Beautiful female composer needed to be locked up in a room with me as part of a real-time TC experiment.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> Do you like going to the doctor.


Yes I do, thank you for asking Dr Pugg. Are you here for my weekly "examination"? :kiss:


----------



## Dim7

Works you wish had been left unfinished (but published nonetheless)


----------



## hpowders

If you had to be locked up in the state asylum for 30 years with one Handel Oratorio, which would it be?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^ Handel me a Knife


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How much do you shave Bob Dylan?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bob Dylan is going to give his Nobel to Spinal Tap, in honour of their lyrics which he digs more than his own..........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Yes's Music Didn't really Exist, It Was All made by computer and that is why they have not been voted into the Hall of Fame.............. Just in case you were wondering


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What the favorite drug given to you by your Dentist? (on a roll here)!


----------



## SixFootScowl

Dim7 said:


> Works you'd want to have been left unfinished (but published nonetheless)


How about 4'33"

But then it might have been called something like 3'57"

No great loss.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> If you had to be locked up in the state asylum for 30 years with one Handel Oratorio, which would it be?


Rather not be locked up in an asylum but Messiah would be essential.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Florestan said:


> How about 4'33"
> 
> But then it might have been called something like 3'57"
> 
> No great loss.


4'33 isn't funny


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> Help Wanted: Beautiful female composer needed to be locked up in a room with me as part of a real-time TC experiment.


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Sebastian_Bach


----------



## Pugg

how stupid is stupid in real stupid .


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Sebastian_Bach


I will pass on that one.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> I will pass on that one.


You have shoddy taste in women.


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> You have shoddy taste in women.


I'll be Bach if I change my mind. Right now I can't Handel it. I'm going out so it's time to put on my Schu-mann.


----------



## hpowders

Would you rather be locked up in a small room with Beethoven without his hearing horn or Bach without his organ?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Lets lock Ivo Pogorelić in a room with no piano, but a violin and see what, if anything, he does with the violin.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Would you rather be locked up in a small room with Beethoven without his hearing horn or Bach without his organ?


You should have posted that one on the main thread, go on do it................ Your concentrating on the music, arn't you....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Best classical music to provide background music for an 8 year old boy's birthday party?


Stimmung" by Karlheinz Stockhausen


----------



## hpowders

Please help me get out of classical music so I can leave this forum.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Do you like going to funerals?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Do you like when your partner cheats on you?


----------



## Dim7

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Do you like going to funerals?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Do you like when your partner cheats on you?


Too many possibilities for replying to this one, must resist......... must resist........ must resist.......


----------



## SixFootScowl

Singers on drugs


----------



## Pugg

Posters on drugs and or booze.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Florestan said:


> Singers on drugs


Is that funny? No

Can you name a singer that HASN'T done drugs at some point?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> Posters on drugs and or booze.


Friendlyneighbourhood gets drunk sometimes


----------



## SixFootScowl

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Is that funny? No
> 
> Can you name a singer that HASN'T done drugs at some point?


This guy (although he sort of looks like he is on drugs):


----------



## Pugg

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Is that funny? No
> 
> Can you name a singer that HASN'T done drugs at some point?












This one.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> This guy (although he sort of looks like he is on drugs):


I was gonna say this one but who knows, I'm sure Peter and Spike did.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> This one.


I'm in love 
You're so beautiful Pugg :kiss:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> I'm in love
> You're so beautiful Pugg :kiss:


Which drug is it this time............


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which drug is it this time............


Should we tell him the truth for a second time you think?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Should we tell him the truth for a second time you think?


Yes go on.................


----------



## Dim7

Worst member in your friend list


----------



## SixFootScowl

Music CDs that are so bad you can't give them away.


----------



## Klassic

Morimur said:


> The most hated man/woman in TC. :angel:


Look no further.


----------



## Klassic

Dim7 said:


> Worst member in your friend list


Look no further.


----------



## SixFootScowl

TC members: Do you have an inferiority complex?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Most embarrassing encounters with another TC member


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Most embarrassing encounters with another TC member


Again, I'm very sorry Pugg


----------



## Blancrocher

*Why are there so many cases of leaves falling from trees?*


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Blancrocher said:


> *Why are there so many cases of leaves falling from trees?*


Someone should sweep those up, that's an awful mess.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Blancrocher said:


> *Why are there so many cases of leaves falling from trees?*


Wow, your are right to point this out. What a mess. And to think how much nicer they look on the trees. Can we glue them back on?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

TurnaboutVox said:


> Someone should sweep those up, that's an awful mess.


P.S. I should get your camera's colour balance checked, Blanc - no _*way*_ is that green.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TurnaboutVox said:


> Someone should sweep those up, that's an awful mess.


Its spring here, so not so much.


----------



## millionrainbows

Elliott Carter wil be a "great" composer when his music is used a the theme for a new CSI.


----------



## millionrainbows

Elliott Carter wil be a "great" composer when his music is used in a De Beers diamond commercial.


----------



## millionrainbows

Elliott Carter will be a "great" composer when his music is used by The American Beef Council.


----------



## millionrainbows

Elliott Carter will be a "great" composer when his music suddenly reminds you of the new Sirracha Jack Cheeseburger, for some reason.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Economics of on the Downlow


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Elliott Carter will be a "great" composer when his music is used by The Australian Kangaroo Council -AKC, just like KFC but more bouncy.................


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Elliott Carter will be a "great" composer when he is used in airline commercials featuring sexy ladies


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Elliott Carter will be a "great" composer when his music is used by The Australian Kangaroo Council -AKC, just like KFC but more bouncy.................


The New Kangaroo Jack Sirracha Burger…it was only a matter of time...


----------



## millionrainbows

Elliott Carter will be a "great" composer when his music has a driving backbeat, lots of synths, and fits my lifestyle.


----------



## millionrainbows

Kangaroo Jack Sirracha Hot Wings Basket.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: What kind of ray are you?

1. Manta ray
2. Stingray
3. Electric ray
4. Skate
5. UV ray
6. Other
7. What's a ray?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> Kangaroo Jack Sirracha Hot Wings Basket.


Kangaroo Jack Sirracha Hoppin' Hot Wings Basket


----------



## millionrainbows

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Poll: What kind of ray are you?
> 
> 1. Manta ray
> 2. Stingray
> 3. Electric ray
> 4. Skate
> 5. UV ray
> 6. Other
> 7. What's a ray?


I'm a Kangaroo Jack Sirracha ray. For a limited time only.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Cleverest jokes (must be tall and unseemly)


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Poll: What kind of ray are you?
> 
> 1. Manta ray
> 2. Stingray
> 3. Electric ray
> 4. Skate
> 5. UV ray
> 6. Other
> 7. What's a ray?


Ray Romano (dats me!)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Cleverest jokes (must be tall and unseemly)


What do a tall Wizard and a tall Elf have in common?

They both needed a short Hobbit to save their butts................


----------



## SixFootScowl

Stupid thread ideas that were retracted for insufficient stupidity.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Biggest Penguins


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Biggest Penguins










Biggest Penguin known to man.............


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Florestan said:


> Stupid thread ideas that were retracted for insufficient stupidity.


Top ten classical works?


----------



## Pugg

Top ten stupid jokes


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Pugg said:


> Top ten stupid jokes


4'33 Joke
4'33 Joke
4'33 Joke
4'33 Joke
4'33 Joke
4'33 Joke
4'33 Joke
4'33 Joke
4'33 Joke
4'33 Joke
:tiphat:


----------



## SixFootScowl

What ever happened with the Dad joke thread? Let's try again.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Post no. 1 -

I want to be initiated into this Stupid Thread Ideas thing but don't know what's stupid, can I have some tips?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Hi, I flunked kindergarten. Does that qualify me to post in this thread?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers who were homosexual because you said so


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composers who were homosexual because you said so


Gaybo Von Homoman


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaybo Hon Gomoman


----------



## Pugg

Do you wear boxers or briefs?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Commando......................


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pugg said:


> Do you wear boxers or briefs?


I wear WWE wrestlers.


----------



## Scopitone

Which WWE Wrestlers could Mendelssohn Beat Up?


----------



## millionrainbows

If you could watch a WWE Wrestler beat up a modernist composer of your choosing, who would it be?


----------



## millionrainbows

Pugg said:


> Do you wear boxers or briefs?


Neither. Red silk bikinis! ~tee hee~


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Commando......................


Wow, you must use that _really good toilet paper _they've been advertising!


----------



## millionrainbows

If someone playing Schoenberg played a wrong note, would anyone know it?

Response Threads: 

What Do You Mean, "Is Elliott Carter a Great Composer"? Is This Some Sort of a Joke?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Commando......................


If you're by yourself, who cares what you wear..if you're wearing anything


----------



## SixFootScowl

Scopitone said:


> Which WWE Wrestlers could Mendelssohn Beat Up?


Any who have retired and now reside in the nursing home.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Do you hate classical music?


----------



## millionrainbows

This is "Stupid Thread Ideas," not "Sexy Thread Ideas."


----------



## millionrainbows

What kind of underwear did Beethoven wear, if any?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> What kind of underwear did Beethoven wear, if any?


Mozarts'..................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> If you could watch a WWE Wrestler beat up a modernist composer of your choosing, who would it be?


You Mean like Wagner vs Cage in a Cage. I've always thought of Wagner as a wrestler........

After Wagner reads this Cage might want to do a runner.......

CAGE = 100: AS INFLUENTIAL AS WAGNER, AS INTERPRETABLE AS MOZARThttp://www.newmusicbox.org/articles/cage100-wagner-mozart/


----------



## SixFootScowl

Let's get Mussorgsky into the wrestling ring. That guy looks pretty wild and woolly like so many of today's wrestlers.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Infractions where you're more embarrassed about ignorantly falling in love then the infraction itself


----------



## Dim7

Thread where members who hate each other pretend to be best friends


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> Let's get Mussorgsky into the wrestling ring. That guy looks pretty wild and woolly like so many of today's wrestlers.
> View attachment 89709


How Mozart really meet his fate- too much wrestling with Salieri .................


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

Florestan said:


> Let's get Mussorgsky into the wrestling ring. That guy looks pretty wild and woolly like so many of today's wrestlers.
> View attachment 89709


.........."heavy drinker"........"loaded on booze"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite Opera composed by an Amoeba,


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How to prevent rusting?


----------



## millionrainbows

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Infractions where you're more embarrassed about ignorantly falling in love then the infraction itself


Don't worry, Friendlyneighborhood; I fell for Pugg the same way. Her avatar IS very beautiful, after all...


----------



## millionrainbows

Wrestling and Classical Music seem like a perfect pairing, since most composers are gay, and in wrestling there is a certain homo-erotic tension at play...


----------



## hpowders

Which is more thorny? Elliot Carter's music or this cactus plant I am standing next to in Sedona, Arizona (See selfie).


----------



## Art Rock

What are you doing wrong now?


----------



## Guest

"Pus"--why don't we hear this word more often?


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

millionrainbows said:


> Don't worry, Friendlyneighborhood; I fell for Pugg the same way. Her avatar IS very beautiful, after all...


Now I'm even more upset that Krummhorn hasn't even responded to my PM, he should be professional about this. 
I literally got an infraction for the "I'm in love, you're so beautiful Pugg" comment. Now I know I like a joke around sometimes but when you make an embarrassing and legitimate mistake, is it fair to both: have your problems maturely addressed and have your infraction/restrictions lifted because of your nativity.


----------



## Guest

Art Rock said:


> What are you doing wrong now?


I don't know. Let me ask my wife.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What is "wife" and why does everyone except me have it? Am I missing out on something?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> What is "wife" and why does everyone except me have it? Am I missing out on something?


Do you want one, we could arrange a raffle for you..............


----------



## Dim7

*Change in censorship policy*

Because of recent tendency of some members to write strings of obscenities together without spaces in order to avoid the automatic censorship, the Talk Cl***ical moderation team reluctantly agreed to apply the censorship not only to words separated by spaces, but inside the words as well. Talk Cl***ical has remained a civil and family friendly forum to discuss cl***ical music for years, so let's keep it that way in the future as well.


----------



## Friendlyneighbourhood

This thread is turning out more productive then ever, so we decided to delete some thought-provoking posts and edit certain posts as I wish. Please do not post anymore thinks that spark interesting and helpful conversation.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Lets do a straw poll on your favourite pieces of Straw...........


----------



## SixFootScowl

I feel so stupid I can't even think of a stupid thread idea.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> I feel so stupid I can't even think of a stupid thread idea.


I can help.................... Lets over pay tax deliberately...


----------



## hpowders

Favorite comments from the Theists vs. Atheists thread.

Post no.1: "I will kill you if you ever doubt my holy, pastoral beliefs!!!


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I can help.................... Lets over pay tax deliberately...


Hey wow, yeah. That's really stupid. I like it. Let's see, maybe I can file an amended return for 2015 claiming more income than I really got. Yes, that should be easy. I can tell them I won it illicitly gambling or selling illicit drugs or something. They'll have to believe me because there would be no record or reporting by the payees.

Wow, this is stupid enough I could maybe even get thrown in jail for something I didn't even do.


----------



## Pugg

Florestan said:


> I feel so stupid I can't even think of a stupid thread idea.


Good one Florestan.


----------



## hpowders

Excerpts from the Current Listening Vol. ll thread.

Post no.1: Here's your chance to enjoy posters' favorite choices from 12 years ago. See how many posters you can count who have left TC in complete disgust since then.


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Lets do a straw poll on your favourite pieces of Straw...........


Do you provide the straws or will I?


----------



## Scopitone

Walls of Text and You: What you should know about punctuation and paragraph breaks.


----------



## Scopitone

Actually, that's not such a stupid topic...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

We are all actually papayas


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> We are all actually papayas


And now you have spoiled my dream. I am nothing but a fruit which fits this thread quite well. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Favourite Opera composed by an Amoeba,
> 
> View attachment 89719


My favorite aria: A mitosis divided shall not stand!


----------



## hpowders

I'm forming an "Intense hatred for Renée Fleming" fan club.

PM me for further details. No phonies please!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'm forming an "Intense hatred for Renée Fleming" fan club.
> 
> PM me for further details. No phonies please!


I have the Poster for you


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have the Poster for you
> 
> View attachment 89749


Elliot Carter wouldn't waste 4'33" on her. The damsel should be Caged!


----------



## millionrainbows

My Mosquito-Free Summer, Thanks to Iannis Xenakis' Electronic Music


----------



## hpowders

Today's daily debate topic: Without life, music would be a mistake. Agree? Disagree?

(This thread has a potential half-life of 16 months).


----------



## Dim7

Chaotic tense threads full of discord ending with a harmonious post


----------



## Scopitone

Best Beavis & Butthead Classical Music Commentary


----------



## Scopitone

Orchestras that died in spirit before officially disbanding


----------



## Dim7

Composers who wrote works with violins in them


----------



## ST4

Dim7 said:


> Composers who wrote works with violins in them


That's a hard one, I'm struggling to find an answer


----------



## ST4

millionrainbows said:


> My Mosquito-Free Summer, Thanks to Iannis Xenakis' Electronic Music


Xenakis beach parties and surfing, I've done it all!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Composers who wrote works with violins in them


Wouldn't that restrict their movements..............


----------



## hpowders

Debate topic: If after a nuclear war, the only iPod left on earth plays a musical sound. Is this music if nobody is alive to hear it?


----------



## hpowders

Is a mature opera by Schubert one that should only be played after 11 PM when the kids are asleep?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Hey guys, I'm a fairly new composer but I have a great idea for my first composition. I'm not one for half-measures, so I want to make my debut with something rather grand.
> My composition will be scored for the following instruments:
> 
> 5 piccolos
> 10 flutes
> 50 clarinets (I love clarinets!!!)
> 2 alto clarinets
> 4 bass clarinets
> 11 oboes
> 7 English horns
> 10 bassoons
> 8 contrabassoons
> 30 horns
> 25 trumpets :trp:
> 20 trombones
> 15 tubas
> 20 percussionists playing various instruments
> a string section of 500 people
> two organs
> eight pianos
> three celestas
> 19 harpsichords
> a choir of 1000 people
> a large elephant
> Dim7 and CoAG
> 
> I haven't written for orchestra before, but how hard can it be really?
> Anyway, I plan to write three movements: the ego, the id and the superego. Each movement will be about two or three hours long, because as I say I really don't like half measures. These three movements will be followed by a four-hour opera as light entertainment before the second half starts. The second half will be an exact repetition of the first, because I'm lazy :lol:
> 
> Anyway, I'm really into this, so it should be finished in a month or so. I've never had any musical experience before - I don't know how to write music lol - but I've watched Amadeus and that Mozart seemed pretty silly and if he can be famous why can't I be famous I'm really clever and intelligent lol, my mum told me so.
> 
> Love you guys! :kiss:


Sounds good on paper.

A good conductor should be able to hear that one of the 20 trombones was playing E Natural instead of E Flat.


----------



## Dim7

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Wouldn't that restrict their movements..............


If I can post with a sword in my head sure they should be able to compose with a violin in them.


----------



## hpowders

Looking for atonal bagpipe concerti grossi.


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> Walls of Text and You: What you should know about punctuation and paragraph breaks.


Wagner often used a musical style that he called "endless melody." No pauses, no definite endings. Maybe some posters are imitating the Master's style!


----------



## Dim7

Why are there so many cases of people going from a place to another?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite Composers with a Violin in them.....................


----------



## hpowders

I know nothing about classical music!!

Post no. 1: My loyal fraternity brothers told me to come here cause you guys know a lot and ask you for a good recording of the Beethoven "Sunlight" Piano Sonata. Thanks!


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!!

Post no 1: Hey wassup with this place? I posted 37 stupid thread ideas and my post count is still zero! I haven't received a zero since 2 years ago when I took "ear-training for mesomorphs".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I know nothing about classical music!!
> 
> Post no. 1: My loyal fraternity brothers told me to come here cause you guys know a lot and ask you for a good recording of the Beethoven "Sunlight" Piano Sonata. Thanks!


Hey Fraternity isn't that just like Franciscan of something...........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I'm looking for a benefactor to pay me vast sums of money to transpose one of the most popular infamous musical pieces and also turn it into a choral arrangement. 
Should I avoid mentioning the name of the piece is 4'33"??


----------



## hpowders

Help desperately needed:

Post no 1: I am a starving musician. Which would be better to melt down for scrap-my Selmer french horn or my Bach clarino trumpet dated to 1703 which may have been played by Bach? Should I weigh them before melting them in my crematory?


----------



## hpowders

Wouldn't Quantum Music be too Bohr-ing?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Help desperately needed:
> 
> Post no 1: I am a starving musician. Which would be better to melt down for scrap-my Selmer french horn or my Bach clarino trumpet dated to 1703 which may have been played by Bach? Should I weigh them before melting them in my crematory?


Get rid of the clarino, why would you want such an old dusty disgusting thing like that. I can help you get rid of it no probs....


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm looking for a benefactor to pay me vast sums of money to transpose one of the most popular infamous musical pieces and also turn it into a choral arrangement.
> Should I avoid mentioning the name of the piece is 4'33"??


I known a guy who can do a deal for you, he meets in dark alleys though


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Wouldn't Quantum Music be too Bohr-ing?


It all merely an illusion anyway................










Interesting factoid - in 1922 when scientist Niels Bohr won the Nobel Prize he was given a house by Carlsberg brewery. The house was located next to the brewery and it had a direct pipeline to the brewery so that Bohr had free beer on tap whenever he wanted.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> I known a guy who can do a deal for you, he meets in dark alleys though


Sounds like Dmitry Shostakovich meeting Joseph Stalin for a new National Anthem!............. His name isn't Donald is it?


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> It all merely an illusion anyway................
> 
> 
> View attachment 89793
> 
> 
> Interesting factoid - in 1922 when scientist Niels Bohr won the Nobel Prize he was given a house by Carlsberg brewery. The house was located next to the brewery and it had a direct pipeline to the brewery so that Bohr had free beer on tap whenever he wanted.


We are all one conciousness experiencing itself subjectively


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sounds like Dmitry Shostakovich meeting Joseph Stalin for a new National Anthem!............. His name isn't Donald is it?


Donald Duck? No. Did you hear he died a few years ago from lung cancer, the duck used to smoke 12 packs a day!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> Donald Duck? No. Did you hear he died a few years ago from lung cancer, the duck used to smoke 12 packs a day!


Typical can't trust birds anymore, just like my Emu. Can never find any Cigars around here!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Typical can't trust birds anymore, just like my Emu. Can never find any Cigars around here!
> 
> View attachment 89794


That's a selfie taken by Picasso with his new iPhone 7.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Members whose sense of humour you dislike.

I'll start: Abraham Lincoln


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm looking for a benefactor to pay me vast sums of money to transpose one of the most popular infamous musical pieces and also turn it into a choral arrangement.
> Should I avoid mentioning the name of the piece is 4'33"??


Even I can qualify to be in the choir for that!


----------



## ST4

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Members whose sense of humour you dislike.
> 
> I'll start: Abraham Lincoln


Top 10 TC members obsessed with Mendelssohn?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> That's a selfie taken by Picasso with his new iPhone 7.


Until he tried his Galaxy Quantum phone


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> Even I can qualify to be in the choir for that!


You can be Choir Master.............


----------



## SixFootScowl

ST4 said:


> Top 10 TC members obsessed with Mendelssohn?


Oh I do hope I am in the top 10! Please vote for me!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Breaking News Nobel Wins Dylan Prize for Literature................


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Breaking News Nobel Wins Dylan Prize for Literature................


Do you think he will accept?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Do you think he will accept?


If the Spirit is willing....................


----------



## SixFootScowl

Do you have a life outside of TalkClassical forums?

I ask because some members post here so often that I have to wonder if they have any time to get much else done besides eat and sleep.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dear TalkClassical users,
We have a fun new game for you! It's called "Guess the Alts"!
Members try to guess which other members are alt or sockpuppet accounts. If they are correct, the alt/sockpuppet will say so, and win a special prize! which is not banning at all of course not
Love,
The Mods xxxxx


----------



## Dim7

Trolling as a science?


----------



## Dim7

References to Stupid Thread Ideas in literature


----------



## Guest

What's your favorite piece that you haven't heard yet?


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Trolling as a science?


We could list examples of classical pieces about trolls. For example, Grieg's March of the Trolls. Grieg was anticipating the internet age!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kontrapunctus said:


> What's your favorite piece that you haven't heard yet?


4'33''............................


----------



## ST4

Why does my computer crash on the top posters page?


----------



## hpowders

Unknown composers that nobody has ever heard of.

Post no. 1: I will start with 3.

1.

2.

3.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Unknown composers that nobody has ever heard of.
> 
> Post no. 1: I will start with 3.
> 
> 1.
> 
> 2.
> 
> 3.


Don't forget:

4.

5.

6.

I can't say is they're good or not because I've never even heard of them.


----------



## ST4

Why am I offended by things?


----------



## hpowders

Most popular universally likeable Elliott Carter Compositions

Post no. 1: I will start.

1. 

2.

3.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Most popular universally likeable Elliott Carter Compositions
> 
> Post no. 1: I will start.
> 
> 1.
> 
> 2.
> 
> 3.


Top ten universally likeable compositions of all time:

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> Best Beavis & Butthead Classical Music Commentary


Ha ha. That composer's name is Fuchs.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Don't forget:
> 
> 4.
> 
> 5.
> 
> 6.
> 
> I can't say is they're good or not because I've never even heard of them.


I don't know how I left out:

5.

One of my favorite unnamed unknowns!! Must be getting old!!


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> Best Beavis & Butthead Classical Music Commentary


Ha ha. That flute player's name is Robert Dick.


----------



## ST4

Top ten university compositions 









......now just wait a second now......


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> Best Beavis & Butthead Classical Music Commentary


Ha Ha. That composer's name is Marcel Bitsch (1921-2011).


----------



## millionrainbows

Originally Posted by *Scopitone* 
_Best Beavis & Butthead Classical Music Commentary_

Ha ha. That composer's name is Claude Balbastre (1724-1799).


----------



## millionrainbows

Originally Posted by *Scopitone* 
_Best Beavis & Butthead Classical Music Commentary_


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> Best Beavis & Butthead Classical Music Commentary


Ha ha. That work is called The Nutcracker Suite.


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> Best Beavis & Butthead Classical Music Commentary


Ha ha. That composition by Jeffrey Stolet is named Concerto for Orchestra, Chainsaw, and Cow.


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> Best Beavis & Butthead Classical Music Commentary


Ha ha. I went to a performance of John Cage's 4'33" and I farted.


----------



## hpowders

Armadillos in music.

Post no.1: Let's not use the same old warhorses. How about some atonal armadillo stuff?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Top ten university compositions
> 
> ......now just wait a second now......


Post no 1: Variations on a Rejected Revisionist History Dissertation in C sharp minor

One of mein favorites/favourites.


----------



## hpowders

For us egocentric people, shouldn't we be able to like our own posts? Wassup???


----------



## hpowders

Leave of Absence Part 16

Post no.1: Part 15 has reached its saturation point on new posts. Use this new thread to continue posting why you are permanently leaving, but will actually be back in a day or two, as if we wouldn't notice.


----------



## millionrainbows

Son of Return to the Valley of "I'm Leaving This Forum," part IV: The Reckoning, in 3-D IMAX


----------



## millionrainbows

Zombie Attack: Night of the Living Mahlerian


----------



## ST4

millionrainbows said:


> Ha ha. That composition by Jeffrey Stolet is named Concerto for Orchestra, Chainsaw, and Cow.


You've gotta admire the absurdism in that Concerto, I love it


----------



## ST4

Why do I find music I don't like to be either, or a combination of boring, dull or completely unmusical?


----------



## ST4

millionrainbows said:


> Son of Return to the Valley of "I'm Leaving This Forum," part IV: The Reckoning, in 3-D IMAX


*Return of the son of the revenge of the response to leave of absence vol 17, collectors edition. 
*

This edition also comes in a beautiful aluminium box casing. The first 500 copies also comes with a special signed book, which outlines the process that came into this amazing product.
Release date: November 10
Price: $60 standard edition, $120 special edition, $400 collectors edition


----------



## hpowders

My recommended Renée Fleming performances:

1.

2.

3.


----------



## ST4

List of sopranos better than Renee Fleming:

Anne Alexander
Diane Alexander
Lucia Aliberti
Kathleen Marie Allen
Elly Ameling
Elinor Amlen
Elisabeth Agnethe Anderson
June Anderson
Lorna Anderson
Amy Andersson
Cecilia Angell
Anne Schwanewilms
Susan Anthony
Anna Caterina Antonacci
Virginia Ann Apel
Giannina Arangi Lombardi
Constantina Araujo
Renate Arends
Michelle Areyzaga
Oxana Arkaeva
Oxana Arkaeva
Karin van Arkel
Mairi Armstrong
Bodil Arnesen
Lola ArtÃ´t de Padilla
Ainhoa Arteta
Fides Santos-Cuyugan Asensio
Vanessa Ashbee
Rachel Ashton
Arleen Auger
Arleen Auger
Florence Austral
Yolanda Auyanet
Rebecca Axelrod
Jennifer Aylmer
Anne Azema
Irena Baar
Isabella Baer Lara
Janice Baird
Olga Bakali
Suzanne Balaes
Simona Baldolini
Suzanne Balguerie
Carmen Balthrop
Elena Baramova
Cristina Barbieri
Cheryl Barker
Cheryl Barker
Mareena Barlow
Merav Barnea
Judith Barnes
Maria Barrientos
Josephine Barstow
Sathya Bartko
Kathleen Battle
Kathleen Battle
Janna Baty
Janna Baty
Galina Bauer
Maria Bayo
Maria Bayo
Isabel Bayrakdarian
Margarete BÃ¤umer
Hildegard Behrens
Emma Bell
Mary Bella
Laura Belli
Summer Bennett
Kimberly Bentley
Gabriela Bergallo
Janne Berglund
Anne-Lise Berntsen
Simona Bertini
Emmy Bettendorf
Oivia Leigh Biddle
Amy Bils
Gertrud Bindernagel
Marie Louise Birve
Jennifer Bischak
Dorothy Bishop
Lee Bisset
Melissa J. Black
Angela-Maria Blasi
Natalie Bodanya
Anna-Maria Bogner
Katherine Bolcar
Stefania Bonfadelli
Barbara Bonney
Lucrezia Bori
Ruth Bormann
Olimpia Boronat
Maria Luigia Borsi
Catherine Bott
Nikki Boxer
Sandra Boysen
Emma Lucy Braga
Helena Braun
Elena Bresciani
Elena Bresciani
Christine Brewer
Roxana Briban
Debbie Bridge
Debbie Bridge
Hope Briggs
Sarah Brightman
Marta Brivio
June Bronhill
Angela Brown
Peggy Brown
Measha Brueggergosman
Elizabeth Bryne
Heather Buck
Anne Amelia Buckley
Courtenay Budd
Sine Bundgaard
Fiorella Burato
Susan Burris
Heather-Anne Burwell
Beverly Butrie
Amy S Butterworth
Montserrat Caballe
Elizabeth Caballero
Angela M. Cadelago
Patricia Caicedo
Rebecca Caine
Mary Ellen Callahan
Shannon Callahan
Cheryl Campbell
Maria-Dolores Campos
Michele Capalbo
Madalene Capelle
Mercedes Capsir
Giovanna Carini
Catherine Carlin
Elin Carlson
Micaela Carosi
Lydia Caruana
Freya Casey
Kathleen Cassello
Kathleen Cassello
Cristina Castaldi
Cathrin Lange - Soprano
Maria Cebotari
Fiorenza Cedolins
Gabriela Cegolea
Anita Cerquetti
Kam Cheng
Olga Chernisheva
Eve Christie
Anna Christy
Charlotte Church
Charlotte Church
Charlotte Church
Monika Cichocka
Gina Cigna
Patrizia Ciofi
Yoo Ri Clark
Karin Clarke
Laura Claycomb
Laura Claycomb
Christine Clemens
Helen Clough
Susan Coates
Rachel Cobb
Rachel Cobb
Sarah Coburn
Amy Cochrane
Nicole Coelho
Sheryl Heather Cohen
Tarsha Cole
Kate Comegys
Heather Connolly
Chantelle Constable
Marianne Cope
Rebecca Copley
Ileana Cotrubas
MichÃ¨le Crider
Majella Cullagh
Maija Currie
Nancy Curtis
Rosa D'Imperio
Haydee Dabusti
Anne Margrethe Dahl
Diana Damrau
Susan Daniel
Eugeniya Daryina
Krisztina David
Tatiana Davidova
Heidi April-Natasha Davis
Lynne Dawson
Lynne Dawson
Lynne Dawson
MarÃ*a De FÃ©lix
Jane Angela de Florez
Elvira De Hidalgo
Victoria de los Angeles
Fiona de Ocampo
Janet Catherine Dea
Laura Decher
Lori Decter
Lisa Della Casa
Barbara DeMaio
Giuping Deng
Ellen Denham
Natalie Dessay
Natalie Dessay
Daniela Dessi
Vivian Robles Dettbarn
Maacha Deubner
Mariella Devia
Luana DeVol
Joy Dey
Gabriela Di Laccio
Summer Dicus Bennett
Melanie Diener
Muriel Dinteren, van
Marjorie Elinor Dix
Katarzyna Dondalska
Sarah Kate Doughty
Ruth Drucker
Adrienne Dugger
Rachael Duncan
Mary Dunleavy
Anne Marie Dupre
Danijela Duspara
Silvana Dussmann
Jane Eaglen
Jane Eaglen
Desirée Earl
Florence Easton
Katherine Eberle
Nikki Einfeld
Morozova Ekaterina
Rochelle Ellis
Yana Eminova
Alison England
Cynthia Delores English
Kallen Esperian
Kallen Esperian
Catherine Estourelle
Anna Evans
Cheryl Evans
Morenike Fadayomi
Geraldine Farrar
Gretchen Farrar
Gretchen Farrar
Eileen Farrell
Sandra Felix
Svetlana Feodulova
Debra Fernandes
Helen Field
Lori Fisher
Robin Fisher
Kirsten Flagstad
Sarah Flanagan
Lisa Forstmann
Jane Foster
Karen Foster
Stefania Francia
Maureen Francis
Sophie Frank
Maria Freeman
Olive Fremstad
Mirella Freni
Maya Frieman Hoover
Monika Frimmer
Barbara Fris
Barbara Fris
Barbara Frittoli
Marta Fuchs
Andrea Renee Fuentes


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

www.talkclassical.com says
You must wait at least 3 seconds between button clicks.
It has been 0.00000003 seconds since your last
button click. 
And stop posting stupid stuff


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> List of sopranos better than Renee Fleming:
> 
> Anne Alexander
> Diane Alexander
> Lucia Aliberti
> Kathleen Marie Allen
> Elly Ameling
> Elinor Amlen
> Elisabeth Agnethe Anderson
> June Anderson
> Lorna Anderson
> Amy Andersson
> Cecilia Angell
> Anne Schwanewilms
> Susan Anthony
> Anna Caterina Antonacci
> Virginia Ann Apel
> Giannina Arangi Lombardi
> Constantina Araujo
> Renate Arends
> Michelle Areyzaga
> Oxana Arkaeva
> Oxana Arkaeva
> Karin van Arkel
> Mairi Armstrong
> Bodil Arnesen
> Lola ArtÃ´t de Padilla
> Ainhoa Arteta
> Fides Santos-Cuyugan Asensio
> Vanessa Ashbee
> Rachel Ashton
> Arleen Auger
> Arleen Auger
> Florence Austral
> Yolanda Auyanet
> Rebecca Axelrod
> Jennifer Aylmer
> Anne Azema
> Irena Baar
> Isabella Baer Lara
> Janice Baird
> Olga Bakali
> Suzanne Balaes
> Simona Baldolini
> Suzanne Balguerie
> Carmen Balthrop
> Elena Baramova
> Cristina Barbieri
> Cheryl Barker
> Cheryl Barker
> Mareena Barlow
> Merav Barnea
> Judith Barnes
> Maria Barrientos
> Josephine Barstow
> Sathya Bartko
> Kathleen Battle
> Kathleen Battle
> Janna Baty
> Janna Baty
> Galina Bauer
> Maria Bayo
> Maria Bayo
> Isabel Bayrakdarian
> Margarete BÃ¤umer
> Hildegard Behrens
> Emma Bell
> Mary Bella
> Laura Belli
> Summer Bennett
> Kimberly Bentley
> Gabriela Bergallo
> Janne Berglund
> Anne-Lise Berntsen
> Simona Bertini
> Emmy Bettendorf
> Oivia Leigh Biddle
> Amy Bils
> Gertrud Bindernagel
> Marie Louise Birve
> Jennifer Bischak
> Dorothy Bishop
> Lee Bisset
> Melissa J. Black
> Angela-Maria Blasi
> Natalie Bodanya
> Anna-Maria Bogner
> Katherine Bolcar
> Stefania Bonfadelli
> Barbara Bonney
> Lucrezia Bori
> Ruth Bormann
> Olimpia Boronat
> Maria Luigia Borsi
> Catherine Bott
> Nikki Boxer
> Sandra Boysen
> Emma Lucy Braga
> Helena Braun
> Elena Bresciani
> Elena Bresciani
> Christine Brewer
> Roxana Briban
> Debbie Bridge
> Debbie Bridge
> Hope Briggs
> Sarah Brightman
> Marta Brivio
> June Bronhill
> Angela Brown
> Peggy Brown
> Measha Brueggergosman
> Elizabeth Bryne
> Heather Buck
> Anne Amelia Buckley
> Courtenay Budd
> Sine Bundgaard
> Fiorella Burato
> Susan Burris
> Heather-Anne Burwell
> Beverly Butrie
> Amy S Butterworth
> Montserrat Caballe
> Elizabeth Caballero
> Angela M. Cadelago
> Patricia Caicedo
> Rebecca Caine
> Mary Ellen Callahan
> Shannon Callahan
> Cheryl Campbell
> Maria-Dolores Campos
> Michele Capalbo
> Madalene Capelle
> Mercedes Capsir
> Giovanna Carini
> Catherine Carlin
> Elin Carlson
> Micaela Carosi
> Lydia Caruana
> Freya Casey
> Kathleen Cassello
> Kathleen Cassello
> Cristina Castaldi
> Cathrin Lange - Soprano
> Maria Cebotari
> Fiorenza Cedolins
> Gabriela Cegolea
> Anita Cerquetti
> Kam Cheng
> Olga Chernisheva
> Eve Christie
> Anna Christy
> Charlotte Church
> Charlotte Church
> Charlotte Church
> Monika Cichocka
> Gina Cigna
> Patrizia Ciofi
> Yoo Ri Clark
> Karin Clarke
> Laura Claycomb
> Laura Claycomb
> Christine Clemens
> Helen Clough
> Susan Coates
> Rachel Cobb
> Rachel Cobb
> Sarah Coburn
> Amy Cochrane
> Nicole Coelho
> Sheryl Heather Cohen
> Tarsha Cole
> Kate Comegys
> Heather Connolly
> Chantelle Constable
> Marianne Cope
> Rebecca Copley
> Ileana Cotrubas
> MichÃ¨le Crider
> Majella Cullagh
> Maija Currie
> Nancy Curtis
> Rosa D'Imperio
> Haydee Dabusti
> Anne Margrethe Dahl
> Diana Damrau
> Susan Daniel
> Eugeniya Daryina
> Krisztina David
> Tatiana Davidova
> Heidi April-Natasha Davis
> Lynne Dawson
> Lynne Dawson
> Lynne Dawson
> MarÃ*a De FÃ©lix
> Jane Angela de Florez
> Elvira De Hidalgo
> Victoria de los Angeles
> Fiona de Ocampo
> Janet Catherine Dea
> Laura Decher
> Lori Decter
> Lisa Della Casa
> Barbara DeMaio
> Giuping Deng
> Ellen Denham
> Natalie Dessay
> Natalie Dessay
> Daniela Dessi
> Vivian Robles Dettbarn
> Maacha Deubner
> Mariella Devia
> Luana DeVol
> Joy Dey
> Gabriela Di Laccio
> Summer Dicus Bennett
> Melanie Diener
> Muriel Dinteren, van
> Marjorie Elinor Dix
> Katarzyna Dondalska
> Sarah Kate Doughty
> Ruth Drucker
> Adrienne Dugger
> Rachael Duncan
> Mary Dunleavy
> Anne Marie Dupre
> Danijela Duspara
> Silvana Dussmann
> Jane Eaglen
> Jane Eaglen
> Desirée Earl
> Florence Easton
> Katherine Eberle
> Nikki Einfeld
> Morozova Ekaterina
> Rochelle Ellis
> Yana Eminova
> Alison England
> Cynthia Delores English
> Kallen Esperian
> Kallen Esperian
> Catherine Estourelle
> Anna Evans
> Cheryl Evans
> Morenike Fadayomi
> Geraldine Farrar
> Gretchen Farrar
> Gretchen Farrar
> Eileen Farrell
> Sandra Felix
> Svetlana Feodulova
> Debra Fernandes
> Helen Field
> Lori Fisher
> Robin Fisher
> Kirsten Flagstad
> Sarah Flanagan
> Lisa Forstmann
> Jane Foster
> Karen Foster
> Stefania Francia
> Maureen Francis
> Sophie Frank
> Maria Freeman
> Olive Fremstad
> Mirella Freni
> Maya Frieman Hoover
> Monika Frimmer
> Barbara Fris
> Barbara Fris
> Barbara Frittoli
> Marta Fuchs
> Andrea Renee Fuentes


Wow Charlotte Church seems to be popular.............


----------



## ST4

Ludwig Van Beethoven vs Every other composer in existence 

Cage match, entry fee $6,000. Don't miss the fight!


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Wow Charlotte Church seems to be popular.............


...um...yeah.....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Talk in Shakespearean link here ............ http://lingojam.com/EnglishtoShakespearean

No more brain than stone doest as no more brain than stone is.

wow this is very much no more brain than stone


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Testing Testing Testing - don't be alarmed.........

Beethoven wast a d'rk and w're dresses in stockings with lipstick on while composing in Mozarts sleep chamber


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> Ha ha. I went to a performance of John Cage's 4'33" and I farted.


I am afraid that becomes the highlight of the performance.


----------



## SixFootScowl

ST4 said:


> Ludwig Van Beethoven vs Every other composer in existence
> 
> Cage match, entry fee $6,000. Don't miss the fight!


Beethoven vs Wagner is the ultimate match.


----------



## hpowders

Liszt's most substantial, least flashy compositions. Please add your choices to this Liszt:

1.


2.


3.


----------



## hpowders

Ponies in Music

Post no. 1: List your mane choices!


----------



## ST4

Youtube earns roughly $21.9 million a year. They have a like and a dislike button. TC should follow suit, they might make more profit?


----------



## Pugg

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most vilest of them all.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Presenting the Deluxe Leave of Absence Kit!
The new product from Flounce Manufacturers, making dramatic exits since 1669!
Kit contains:
- List of suggested phrases to use, e.g.: "I have been warmly welcomed elsewhere on the internet" "You heathens don't understand me" "I don't see why I should waste my time on people who don't appreciate me"
- Drama Creation Manuals for creating controversy to ensure a dramatic departure
- Notebook to record everything possibly offensive anyone has ever said on the forum
- 100% Mod-Proof Alt Account, to go back and see the effect your flounce has had on the forum. If nobody appears to have notices, you could use the alt to build a reputation for yourself again and then try another flounce, hopefully with more effect this time. 
- Thread template: "Leave of Absence Part _"


----------



## Dim7

You may have already heard of the famous five year old moderator prodigy BobTheMod. Mahlerian having left, The TC administration is proud to announce that BobTheMod is to join our moderation team tomorrow. You can take our word for it that he is truly the Mozart of moderation.


----------



## Flamme

millionrainbows said:


> Zombie Attack: Night of the Living Mahlerian


:lol::lol::lol: I just Kant...


----------



## millionrainbows

Presenting "Leave of Absence at Beyrueth," a 5-day festival and continuous performance, featuring the Vienna State Radio Orchestra and Chorus, with Mahlerian conducting.


----------



## Skilmarilion

Top 34 greatest leaves of absence

Top 19 great returns from leave of absence

Top 77 leaves of absence that may or may not have occurred

Top 28 leaves of absence in G major


----------



## ST4

From the Creators of Talkclassical comes a *new, ultra-dangerous malware called L.O.A bots.* These bots both prevent people from joining, give regular posters special privileges and infect innocent victims computers.

For a special first time deal, this package can be delivered by suited up, masked men with machetes, to your home in a garage in the middle of nowhere for a special offer of only $6,666,000 plus gst


----------



## hpowders

Flamme said:


> :lol::lol::lol: I just Kant...


Just reminded me. I have some ripe kanterberry tails in the 'fridge.


----------



## hpowders

Posters who don't get much love on Talk Classical

Post no. 1: List your favorites/favourites.


----------



## SixFootScowl

I have decided that I am not going to decide whether to stay or leave TC.


----------



## Dim7

I have decided to be absent every other month and spam profusely every other month


----------



## ST4

Threads that should be re-opened and other threads that should be closed eg. Current Listening


----------



## millionrainbows

Make Me Like Modern Music by Spewing Profuse Verbiage at Me


----------



## ST4

Psychological results of intensive studies of those who spam currently listening:


----------



## millionrainbows

"Stupid Thread Ideas" and Its Effect on the Modern World

"Stupid Thread Ideas" As a Metaphor for the Forum As a Whole

"Stupid Thread Ideas" and Its Effect On the Current Presidential Race

"Stupid Thread Ideas" As Postmodernist Commentary

"Stupid Thread Ideas:" Tradition vs. Radicalism

"Stupid Thread Ideas" and the Deconstruction of Stupidity

"Stupid Thread Ideas" and "Ignorant Thread Ideas:" the Crucial Differences


----------



## Dim7

Why isn't "male member" auto-censored?


----------



## Flamme

I can imagine THE PARTY with you guys:lol:


----------



## ST4

Why is it called "Talk Classical"? 
Doesn't this discriminate against the people who _aren't_ interested in classical Music?


----------



## Flamme

*Classical* must be some sort of aristo language that reminds us of good ole days of yore...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Why isn't "male member" auto-censored?


It's not necessary. Even on the foulest, most obscene internet forum, nobody would use such a vile and crude term as m*** m***** without censoring it themselves.
(except you, it seems)


----------



## ST4

MoonlightSonata said:


> It's not necessary. Even on the foulest, most obscene internet forum, nobody would use such a vile and crude term as m*** m***** without censoring it themselves.
> (except you, it seems)


What? **** and fe****? That is utterly disgusting, I'm reporting you


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What about  m*** m***** with mustard..................


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What about  m*** m***** with mustard..................


Just don't even go there...


----------



## ST4

Which is your favourite site Talk C*** or **** ***?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers who were actually tardigrades


----------



## Abraham Lincoln




----------



## hpowders

Poll: Why have you left TC?

1. My SO needs to use the computer.

2. MY boss popped up and told me to get to work.

3. I fell in love with a poster and she rejected me.

4. I hate Elliott Carter's music unlike the rest of the posters.

5. Because everyone seems to be doing it.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Where is the love for Mussorgsky on this site?

I search and only a few piddly threads come up. Why can't we have more discussion of Mussorgsky? After all, many consider he wrote the greatest Russian opera and one that rivals any of Verdi's operas.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top Posters:


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Where is the love for Mussorgsky on this site?
> 
> I search and only a few piddly threads come up. Why can't we have more discussion of Mussorgsky? After all, many consider he wrote the greatest Russian opera and one that rivals any of Verdi's operas.


The neglect of Mussorgsky on TC is Badunov. Shameful, actually. I'm glad you are reminding us that his music surely is Godunov for the likes of us!


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


>


Insectuous relationships are not allowed on TC according to the ToS.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> The neglect of Mussorgsky on TC is Badunov. Shameful, actually. I'm glad you are reminding us that his music surely is Godunov for the likes of us!


It's really Sadunov when people forget about Mussorgsky. It drives me Madunov


----------



## Dr Johnson

I Fadunov of this.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> It's really Sadunov when people forget about Mussorgsky. It drives me Madunov


I once was involved with a gal who when I found out we canteloupe, I was so madunov, I broke up with her.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> I Fadunov of this.


It's either this; Elliott Carter or Theist vs. Atheist. I mean, you don't have much of a choice. I realize unov is unov sometimes.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Top Posters:
> View attachment 89950


I notice "The Messiah" on the list. How many times do I have to tell them it's "Messiah". There's no "The" there!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I once was involved with a gal who when I found out we canteloupe, I was so madunov, I broke up with her.


You canteloupe? That must have made you feel rather meloncholy.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I notice "The Messiah" on the list. How many times do I have to tell them it's "Messiah". There's no "The" there!


It's not the Messiah, it's a very naughty boy!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> You canteloupe? That must have made you feel rather meloncholy.


Yes it did. But I noticed my dog was doing quite a bit better. I enjoyed watching my collie-flower.


----------



## hpowders

If Beethoven was alive today, wouldn't he have arthritis pretty bad?


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> If Beethoven was alive today, wouldn't he have arthritis pretty bad?


I don't know, but I bet he'd have asked you to get your coat after the collie-flower pun. :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Advertising Section: Sid Jones, MD. Siamese Twin separations. Expert at deleting attachments. PM me.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Mussorgsky! He's not going to Boris. Isn't that Godunov?


----------



## ST4

Posting in this thread


----------



## hpowders

Opiñion Section: Do I need to get help?

Post no. 1: Hi. I live in Madrid. I can't listen to Mozart's music because I got dumped by Sylvia Salzburg in High School.

Ayúdame o no Ayúdame??


----------



## ST4

Hello, I just listened to Handel's Messiah, does that now technically make me a Christian? If not, will I be arrested and prosecuted?


----------



## Pugg

Do people never getting cold on their moral heigh ground?


----------



## ST4

Pugg said:


> Do people never getting cold on their moral heigh ground?


Come again?


----------



## ST4

Scopitone said:


> Why is this thread so expensive?


Living wages.......


----------



## ST4

Xenakiboy said:


> Talkclassical users that would make great life-hacks?


Me Harry Partch...............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> Come again?


Too much snow? :lol:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers whose names would make good verbs


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Quickest way to Mendelssohn


----------



## ST4

My pets favourite composer/works


----------



## ST4

Pugg said:


> If you could go to a furry convention would you? ?????


No I wouldn't but thank you very much for asking :tiphat:


----------



## ST4

Pugg said:


> If you could go to a furry convention would you? ?????


No I wouldn't but thank you very much for asking


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> No I wouldn't but thank you very much for asking


Votes for double stupidity


----------



## ST4

Pugg said:


> If you feel like it, just do it:angel:


Ok!!!!!! 

Hfgiyrrddfyuiiuhyy oiutfcghuyrewsdf hytrdfh433huytrfhiuyt iutdfguutreqqsswwe

Thanks for the helpful suggestion! :tiphat:


----------



## ST4

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Is Rachmaninoff married to Scriabin?


Precisely yes! and Harry Partch


----------



## ST4

Dim7 said:


> Why aren't TC members paid for their posts? Isn't this a form of exploitation?


I thought the same......


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Between Mozart, Bach, and Beethoven, who do you think is the most likely to be married to Mendelssohn?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

What am I doing with my life?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Are they ignoring me or are they just busy?


----------



## ST4

What is your favourite piano Sonata?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> What is your favourite piano Sonata?


Hyundai

But Harry PArtch is better


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Favourite composers who are simultaneously alive and dead


----------



## Dim7

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Favourite composers who are simultaneously alive and dead


Schoenberg's cat.


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Are they ignoring me or are they just busy?


Can you Handel the truth?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*The Mozart Lyrics Thread*
I have seen a lot of other forums which have a "speak in song lyrics" thread, so I thought to make this idea more classical we could speak in the lyrics from Mozart's symphonies!


----------



## SixFootScowl

I am still not seeing any action on Mussorgsky threads or posts? What gives?


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite creation from Infiniti.

1. Mine is the QX60 Crossover.


----------



## hpowders

Posting problem:

Post no.1: Please fix the "wait 3 seconds before posting again" mechanism. Life is short enough as it is.


----------



## hpowders

Can someone teach me how to talk classical?

Post no.1: I saw a thread on the main forum which requires one to talk classical. I'm a quick learner.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> I am still not seeing any action on Mussorgsky threads or posts? What gives?


Reminds me of a real Bare Mountain.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Reminds me of a real Bare Mountain.


A bare mountain that has drunk far too much booze


----------



## Dim7

You gotta choose five out of Bach, Mozart and Beethoven


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> You gotta choose five out of Bach, Mozart and Beethoven


Ok L'ii go first I choose woof, Woof, woof, Woof and woof


----------



## ST4

You gotta choose 13 out of Schoenberg


----------



## MoonlightSonata

You gotta chew Bach, Beethoven and Mozart


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: Convert the above poster to a religion of your choice


----------



## ST4

Top ten TC flounces


----------



## SixFootScowl

Dim7 said:


> You gotta choose five out of Bach, Mozart and Beethoven


Beethoven,
Beethoven,
Beethoven,
Beethoven, 
and Mussorgsky.


----------



## SixFootScowl

You have to choose three out of Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven.


----------



## ST4

Florestan said:


> You have to choose three out of Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven.


I pick Varese and Stockhausen, thank you very much :tiphat:


----------



## ST4

Xenakiboy said:


> *Which Talk Classical Users are in the biggest debt?*


I +1 this! :tiphat:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers you would spend a lifetime with.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Beethoven,
> Beethoven,
> Beethoven,
> Beethoven,
> and Mussorgsky.


I think that's Godunov to satisfy most posters.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> I think that's Godunov to satisfy most posters.


No, I forgot Mendelssohn.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> No, I forgot Mendelssohn.


So changing that becomes your own personal Reformation. Mendelssohn hated the Reformation, by the way.


----------



## ST4

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composers you would spend a lifetime with.


Me ....................


----------



## SixFootScowl

Composers who hated their 5th symphonies--and why?


----------



## ST4

Like this comment please


----------



## MoonlightSonata

ST4 said:


> Like this comment please


I liked yours, but you haven't liked this one yet!!!  this forum is so unfair!!!

edit: this post has since been liked. that doesn't excuse the fact that this forum is BIASED against me!!!!


----------



## Dim7

Boring boringness to bore your boredom


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Hide and seek vs. tag


----------



## ST4

Music vs Noise: The Poll


----------



## ST4

Post no 1: What is Talk Classical and how did I end up here? How to I locate google?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Post no 1: What is Talk Classical and how did I end up here? How to I locate google?


I'm not sure about the former, but don't worry about the latter. Google will locate YOU.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I liked yours, but you haven't liked this one yet!!!  this forum is so unfair!!!
> 
> edit: this post has since been liked. that doesn't excuse the fact that this forum is BIASED against me!!!!


Yeah. I HATE THAT!!!


----------



## Dim7

Things that Google doesn't yet know about you


----------



## SixFootScowl

Was Mussorgsky's output improved by his struggle with alcohol in the same way that Beethoven's was by his struggle with deafness?


----------



## hpowders

Was Mussorgsky really a Modest person?

Post no. 1: Perhaps this was because he didn't think he was Godunov?


----------



## hpowders

New autobiography of Beethoven:

"Just Because I don't Hear Them Don't Mean They Ain't Listening".

by LV Beethoven as told to Carl Czerny.


----------



## ST4

Dim7 said:


> Things that Google doesn't yet know about you


I use yahoo 

Maybe not, but Harry Partch


----------



## SixFootScowl

Dim7 said:


> Things that Google doesn't yet know about you


Use www.DuckDuckGo.com (The search engine that doesn't track you.)


----------



## SixFootScowl

Please! Will somebody besides me make posts on Mussorgsky!


----------



## ST4

Post no 1: I love contemporary music, please help me to despise it. If successful, you win $1,000,000


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Please! Will somebody besides me make posts on Mussorgsky!


One fanatic is mothananov.


----------



## hpowders

Soliloquy thread not long enough for endless discussions.

Post no.1: How come whenever I post on a thread, the thread is locked down within one or two more posts?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> Things that Google doesn't yet know about you


An exhaustive list:


----------



## SixFootScowl

Dim7 said:


> Things that Google doesn't yet know about you


Google probably knows stuff I don't even know about me.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Use www.DuckDuckGo.com (The search engine that doesn't track you.)


I did an exhaustive investigation. They are a bunch of quacks; simply not Godunov!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Unknown composers we shouldn't talk classical aboutNatural networks have a social tendency to make weaker what is already weaker. And so we never end up with a huge list of 'weak composers' that are at the center of attention, while others are totally forgotten about. I think especially this forum should focus on efforts to broaden the interest in Knitting............. 

What's your opinion on this?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Unknown composers we should talk Classically about*
Some obscure composers would be far better from the point of view of the classical period. Therefore, we should discuss them in 18th-century language.


----------



## ST4

I've got a great idea!!!!


A thread where people aimlessly post what they're listening to and don't discuss anything! It's going to be a record breaking, top seller


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

My favourite performance at the present point in time


----------



## hpowders

New Bad-Talk Classical Website being formed!!

Post no.1: Mod-free site, post about what you want when you want with the words you want. No more locked threads right after you post! PM me for your free 4 letter password.


----------



## hpowders

Advertising Section:

Send for your own TC key that the mods use!! Lock down any thread you wish! Be the final poster on any and every thread!!! Only $67.50 if you act NOW!!! Offer may be withdrawn at any time.


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite classical mallet music.

Post no.1: You Tube examples please.


----------



## hpowders

Help a meathead find classical music.


----------



## hpowders

Viewing Pole

Post no.1: Stare at your favorite pole, keep a diary and share your impressions or depressions with the rest of us.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

osla elucidir ot lla rof sresopmoc etiruovaf tsael ruoy tsil


----------



## hpowders

Masters of Ballantrae and Counterpoint


----------



## ST4

?namow a hcaB SJ si dnA ?nhossledneM I mA


----------



## hpowders

What happens in your life?

Post no.1: Look dude! You either share it with us willingly or we will have your life sent to all of us by Google.


----------



## ST4

?daed sresopmoc tluk laer eht era yhW


----------



## ST4

What happens in your neighbours life! - Come in and share the gossip


----------



## hpowders

?sdom sdeen ohW


----------



## hpowders

Playboy, Penthouse or Hustler?

Post no.1: We can do this the easy way or have the Google cameras show us the pictures.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

sdrawkcab rorrim gnidaer gnitruh si daeh ym


----------



## hpowders

Choose up to 3 of the following 5 favorites:

Hummel

Czerny


----------



## ST4

Mozart vs playgirl


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Mozart vs playgirl


Why not have both? Eine Grosse Nachtmusik.


----------



## ST4

Why aren't I offended by the latest cover of Rolling Stone, featuring a ****** picture of Gustav Mahler?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Come again?


I'd love to but I'm completely unsaturated at the present time.


----------



## ST4

Why do people who outright despise contemporary music and think Beethoven and Mozart are the greatest composers, remind me of this:


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Why do people who outright despise contemporary music and think Beethoven and Mozart are the greatest composers, remind me of this:


Looks like a typical blind date from my youth. My mom: "Has a great personality!" Me: "Uhhh YEAH!!! For a complete psycho!!


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> I've got a great idea!!!!
> 
> A thread where people aimlessly post what they're listening to and don't discuss anything! It's going to be a record breaking, top seller


Yes! Yes! They can call it "Current Listening Volumes 1-767".


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Yes! Yes! They can call it "Current Listening Volumes 1-767".


I hear Current Listening Vol 768 is being released this summer, it's becoming highly anticipated!


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Have you passed the Turing test?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Poll: Is the answer to this poll "No"?

Yes
No


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Have you passed the Turing test?


Yes I passed but my disk is floppy...............


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Random thoughts and discoveries that deserve a thread to themselves*
Post here before you make a thread to create anticipation and excitement.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Are you a TC member?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Are you a uoy erA :lloP


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

⅄ǝs I dɐssǝp qnʇ ɯʎ pᴉsʞ ᴉs ɟloddʎ˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙


----------



## Vaneyes

"Are slingshot swimsuits still acceptable?"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Depend what your slinging


----------



## Gradeaundera

What is this thread?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mɥɐʇ ᴉs ʇɥᴉs ʇɥɹǝɐp¿


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

?daerht siht si tahW


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

¿pɐǝɹɥʇ sᴉɥʇ sᴉ ʇɐɥM


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Twitter Opera Thread: Discuss your favourite operas in which the libretto is 140 characters or shorter


----------



## SixFootScowl

I 







stupid thread ideas.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

˙sɐǝpᴉ pɐǝɹɥʇ pᴉdnʇs






I


----------



## Bartfromthenetherlands

Stupid Med Ideas


----------



## Bartfromthenetherlands

Why don't people believe in God?


----------



## SixFootScowl

I am pretending to be a thread. Am I stupid.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Favorite or favourite?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Cat Thread 

15 characters


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Poll: Favorite or favourite?


#teamfavourite4lyf2k16 #goals #hashtag #sti #tc #octothorpe


----------



## SixFootScowl

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Cat Thread
> 
> 15 characters


_________________


----------



## Dim7

An honest onion


----------



## hpowders

Vertically vs. horizontally stacked composers.

Post no. 1: Which composers' CD jewel cases do you tend to stack as either of the above and why.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Modest Mussorgsky

1. Godunov

2. Badunov

3. Who?


----------



## Judith

When opening New CDs, does anyone else have a fight with the cellophane wrapper like I do?


----------



## TurnaboutVox

Judith said:


> When opening New CDs, does anyone else have a fight with the cellophane wrapper like I do?


I stab it with a steak knife. It doesn't fight back after that. What about other members, eh?


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> When opening New CDs, does anyone else have a fight with the cellophane wrapper like I do?


Of course! I always allot one extra day, just for opening them when received.


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite composers whose first name is Menachem.

A little diversity please. Not the same old, same old.


----------



## SixFootScowl

I started a whole new Mussorgsky Thread, a Poll on Boris Godunov, and yet only a few have participated. What is wrong with this place?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Lets, change this to the TC Rants and Raves thread.


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> When opening New CDs, does anyone else have a fight with the cellophane wrapper like I do?


Imagine if they start using the completely unopenable hard plastic they ship pocket calculators in.


----------



## hpowders

Counterpoint Lessons?

Post no.1: Need help with posting in counterpoint. PM me please.


----------



## hpowders

Can kids under 18 listen to a sextet without parental supervision?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Can kids under 18 listen to a sextet without parental supervision?


Only while posting in Counterpoint............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Only while posting in Counterpoint............


You make a good point.


----------



## hpowders

Make a list of your favorite composers who essentially composed one original piece of music and then had the chutzpah to publish 500 or more variations of it and call them different works.

Post no. 1: I will start:

Scarlatti. Vivaldi. Chopin.


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!

Newbie here: What the heck is a "rant", "rave" and "discernment"? I just want to fit in here.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> Help needed!
> 
> Newbie here: What the heck is a "rant", "rave" and "discernment"? I just want to fit in here.


Examples:

Rant: I am sick of people failing to discuss Mussorgsky!

Rave: Come on now! We all can agree the greatest writer of Russian opera is Mussorgsky!

Discernment: The 1869 Boris Godunov original is the best one.


----------



## Bettina

I have an idea for a new desert island poll! Which of Czerny's technique exercises would you bring to a desert island? You can choose 50 out of the 10,000 or so that he wrote.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I have an idea for a new desert island poll! Which of Czerny's technique exercises would you bring to a desert island? You can choose 50 out of the 10,000 or so that he wrote.


I would rather bring Debussy's First Etude, which is a nice tribute to every pianist's favorite finger-breaker.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Make a list of your favorite composers who essentially composed one original piece of music and then had the chutzpah to publish 500 or more variations of it and call them different works.
> 
> Post no. 1: I will start:
> 
> Scarlatti. Vivaldi. Chopin.


Czerny. He wrote the same piano etude thousands of times. This has prompted my idea for a new poll, posted above.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TC Ralts thread.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Czerny. He wrote the same piano etude thousands of times. This has prompted my idea for a new poll, posted above.


If that's the kind of music I would find there, I'd rather go to Maui.


----------



## hpowders

New conductor appointments

Post no.1: Jerry Anderson was just appointed conductor after 11 years as a ticket taker on the Penn Central 7:18AM from Scarsdale to 34st. in Manhattan.


----------



## ST4

Special article: We have found a way to turn youtube comments in to music


----------



## MoonlightSonata

ST4 said:


> Special article: We have found a way to turn youtube comments in to music


We eagerly await the upcoming opera "First" featuring the glorious arias "who listens to this ****", "my feELS" and "like if ur watching in 2016!!!!"


----------



## ST4

You'll love the beta version which turns TC posts into piano Concertos :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> You'll love the beta version which turns TC posts into piano Concertos :devil:


I hope they are in a modern compositional style and not some old tired pre1900ish stuff............


----------



## ST4

Special announcement: The first opera composed, performed and sung by robots is premiering at the Fillmore this Christmas. Tickets open next next Monday!
Don't be late, tickets are expected to sell out


----------



## ST4

Composer roulette, by random a current listening poster will be forced to listen to Stockhausen :devil:


----------



## ST4

Special announcement: Pixar have just announced an upcoming movie _Mendelhoven's Big Adventure_.
The cast is yet to be announced


----------



## Bettina

ST4 said:


> Composer roulette, by random a current listening poster will be forced to listen to Stockhausen :devil:


Just don't make me get in one of the helicopters! They look scary.


----------



## ST4

Bettina said:


> Just don't make me get in one of the helicopters! They look scary.


Funding doesn't yet cover attending a live performance but the staff are discussing ways to be able to make it happen. Donations are always appreciated, thanks :tiphat:


----------



## ST4

*Tips for playing violin blindfolded on a unicycle*


----------



## ST4

*Top ten deadliest sopranos:*


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

ST4 said:


> Special announcement: Pixar have just announced an upcoming movie _Mendelhoven's Big Adventure_.
> The cast is yet to be announced


I am concerned.


----------



## Bettina

ST4 said:


> *Top ten deadliest sopranos:*


I nominate Salome for the #1 position.


----------



## Dim7

Your favorite Stupid Thread Ideas to use as ringtones


----------



## ST4

Top Ten obvious things posters discovered about other posters, thinking it was a revelation


----------



## millionrainbows

ST4 said:


> *Tips for playing violin blindfolded on a unicycle*


Tips for handling critics who see you playing violin, blindfolded, standing on your head on a unicycle, on a tightrope, and then accuse you of "not being able to stand on your own two feet."


----------



## millionrainbows

ST4 said:


> Top Ten obvious things posters discovered about other posters, thinking it was a revelation


1. Pugg is a man, not a woman. Nonetheless, he is very attractive.

2. Dim7 appears to have a sword stuck through his head.

3. Taggart lives in a small potting shed in southern England.

4. Morimur is trapped inside an empty steel oil storage tank with an incredible echo. He does have internet, though.

5. Krummhorn plays the organ at Luby's Cafeteria on Sunday afternoons.

6. The "OC" in KenOC's monicker stands for "Odessa College."

7. Vaneyes does not play golf. In fact, he is a petite 13-year old girl who likes piano music.

8. star thrower once got his head stuck in a gallon can of pork & beans, but he does not wish to discuss it.

9. Mandryka is a transvestite based in Belgium, where he (she) works in a monastery brewery on a volunteer basis.

10. Woodduck is a shhet-music transcriber based in New York. He is currently transcribing the complete works of Metallica for voice and piano.


----------



## millionrainbows

Ginger? That's an interesting name.


----------



## Dim7

Help a metalhead find a body to attach itself to


----------



## millionrainbows

> Hi, I'm new to classical, coming from heavy metal. Any suggestions?


Yes, try some Gregorian chant, it's got lots of parallel fifths. Plus, it is an all-male activity.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Are you a TC member?


Because if you're not, there is no way that you will be able to access Area 51. STRICTLY members only!!

Don't worry. The 10 day registration verification process goes by like it is only 240 hours.


----------



## Dim7

Your favorite "ear tortilla"?


----------



## hpowders

The I may never come back, but I might, but highly doubt it, but tomorrow I may wake up with a different frame of mind, leaving all options open, thread.


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Your favorite "ear tortilla"?


Copland's "Beef: It's What's For Dinner." It goes perfectly well with the ear tortilla.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I nominate Salome for the #1 position.


Give me a heads up when you find out more.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Because if you're not, there is no way that you will be able to access Area 51. STRICTLY members only!!
> 
> Don't worry. The 10 day registration verification process goes by like it is only 240 hours.


I wanted to like this post but they won't let me.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> Yes, try some Gregorian chant, it's got lots of parallel fifths. Plus, it is an all-male activity.


Here you go a very modern example (in Gregorian terms)


----------



## Dim7

*Your favorite ear*

Your personal favorite ear. Let's not get into the argument about subjectivity, objectivity and "greatness" when it comes to ears.


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> Yes, try some Gregorian chant, it's got lots of parallel fifths. Plus, it is an all-male activity.


Ooooh, what a great idea. Do Gregorian chant to heavy metal guitar! That could be a mesmerizing as Iron Butterfly's In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.


----------



## Dim7

I have decided to shower


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> I have decided to shower


Wow!  That's very bold of you - let us know how it goes!


----------



## Flamme

Im the last one...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> I have decided to shower


Is it your anniversary?


----------



## Bettina

ST4 said:


> *Tips for playing violin blindfolded on a unicycle*


That gives a whole new meaning to the term "symphony cycle!"


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> *Your favorite ear*
> 
> Your personal favorite ear. Let's not get into the argument about subjectivity, objectivity and "greatness" when it comes to ears.


Well, my favorite ear _trumpet_ is the one that Beethoven owned...


----------



## hpowders

Opinion Question:

Post no.1: You think Beethoven used Q-Tip cotton swabs for his earwax, or the ear trumpet was enough to get the job done?
I'm new here and I have a lot of other good, thoughtful questions.
I have enough other questions to do around 40 posts a day.


----------



## hpowders

If Donald Trump wins, will he build a great big Firewall around Talk Classical?

Post no. 1: I'm a'scared!!!!


----------



## hpowders

Opinion Question:

I bought an old turntable at a yard sale. How do I adjust the tone arm pressure to play CDs. I can't get any sound at all.


----------



## hpowders

Area 57:

I'm a newbie. How long after I register can I leave? Please don't friend me!


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> I have decided to shower


This thread really stinks.


----------



## ST4

Post no 1: Hello, I want to be a great composer like Beethoven. What is the best way to become deaf?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Special announcement: The first opera composed, performed and sung by robots is premiering at the Fillmore this Christmas. Tickets open next next Monday!
> Don't be late, tickets are expected to sell out


Yes. The lead tenor is Robo Di Niro.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Wow!  That's very bold of you - let us know how it goes!


Or not!!!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> *Random thoughts and discoveries that deserve a thread to themselves*
> Post here before you make a thread to create anticipation and excitement.


Newbie here. I looked. I can't find this. Is this for premium members only?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Hello, I want to write great Russian opera like Mussorgsky. How much do I need to drink?


----------



## SixFootScowl

ST4 said:


> Post no 1: Hello, I want to be a great composer like Beethoven. What is the best way to become deaf?


Be in a heavy metal band for 30 years. Maybe if you practice enough you can shorten the time frame significantly.


----------



## ST4

Florestan said:


> Be in a heavy metal band for 30 years. Maybe if you practice enough you can shorten the time frame significantly.


Yay, thanks for answering my question. After 30 years in a metal band, I'll be composing symphony no 9s like there is no tomorrow!!!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Pigeon for President 2k16


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top Ten Recommended TC Emoticons


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Pigeon for President 2k16


They fly over wall don't they?


----------



## Dim7

TC Top Recommended Emotions


----------



## ST4

Top ten romantic classical traumas


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> TC Top Recommended Emotions


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Artificial Intelligence vs. Natural Stupidity


----------



## SixFootScowl

Strangest user names on TC.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 11,250 Stupid Thread Ideas Posts (results presented in chronological order)


----------



## Dim7

If you could change just one thing about any member's posting style...


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> If you could change just one thing about any member's posting style...


LOL! I like your spin-off on my thread. Another possibility: if you could change just one thing about any member's avatar...


----------



## hpowders

I think I would have done better at university (straight 1.75 average) if I could have called my "studies" "études" instead.

Post no. 1: Opinions?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Lets re-do the election on Talk Classical as a poll and see who wins.


----------



## SixFootScowl

MoonlightSonata said:


> Top 11,250 Stupid Thread Ideas Posts (results presented in chronological order)


Make a book out of it (with illustrations) and sell it on Amazon!


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> If you could change just one thing about any member's posting style...


I would have hpowders write in a more disserationous style.

I always feel he/she/it is trying to sell us short.


----------



## hpowders

Help! Classical Music puts me to sleep!!

Post no.1: Newbie here. Just trying to ingratiate myself with the members. Please friend me one at a time. I can get confused.


----------



## ST4

Florestan said:


> Make a book out of it (with illustrations) and sell it on Amazon!


Is this actually happening??


----------



## hpowders

How dis-Czernying are you when choosing piano études?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Why do people spend so many posts at TC talking about Maria Callas?


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Why do people spend so many posts at TC talking about Maria Callas?


Take a long look at her. Then come back and we'll talk about it. She's sexyunov and I speak for many uhhh... "listeners".


----------



## Bettina

MoonlightSonata said:


> Top 11,250 Stupid Thread Ideas Posts (results presented in chronological order)


Good idea! Let's give each Stupid Thread Idea Post an opus number. The _really _stupid thread ideas can get a WoO number.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Good idea! Let's give each Stupid Thread Idea Post an opus number. The _really _stupid thread ideas can get a WoO number.


Yeah. That worked for Beethoven. It should be more than good enough for the rest of us.
For each Maria Callas post, I reserve the right to call it WoO!! WoO!!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Wagner often used a musical style that he called "endless melody." No pauses, no definite endings. Maybe some posters are imitating the Master's style!


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

Favorite lively performances of music for the dead.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> Take a long look at her. Then come back and we'll talk about it. She's sexyunov and I speak for many uhhh... "listeners".


That was true for some time, but later she showed heavily the wear and tear of her La traviata life.


----------



## Bettina

Florestan said:


> Lets re-do the election on Talk Classical as a poll and see who wins.


Good idea! Maybe we could make it a desert island poll. Which candidate would you take to a desert island with you?


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> If you could change just one thing about any member's posting style...


Bettina should stop trying to change the masterpieces written by the great composers!!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> They fly over wall don't they?


They also make adorable cooing noises once in a while.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Bettina should stop trying to change the masterpieces written by the great composers!!


Yeah. You wouldn't paint over the Mona Lisa would you?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Help, Classical Music makes my nose twitch.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Yeah. You wouldn't paint over the Mona Lisa would you?


Well it was good enough for Leonardo to paint over


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Well it was good enough for Leonardo to paint over


Look what Marcel Duchamp did to the Mona Lisa!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Picasso vs Pikachu


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Harry Partch rules


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Yeah. You wouldn't paint over the Mona Lisa would you?


I would, I can't stand that painting


----------



## ST4

Florestan said:


> Help, Classical Music makes my nose twitch.


Does it make you wiggle your hip and boogie till the cows come home?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Time to go home, Madge is on the phone. Gotta to meet the Gurney's and a dozen gray attorneys.............

​


----------



## SixFootScowl

ST4 said:


> Does it make you wiggle your hip and boogie till the cows come home?


No, actually it also makes me eat a lot of lettuce and carrots.

__________________________


----------



## SixFootScowl

How Disarming Are You As A Classical Listener?


----------



## Bettina

Florestan said:


> No, actually it also makes me eat a lot of lettuce and carrots.
> 
> __________________________


Have you seen him play Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2? Here's an excerpt:


----------



## SixFootScowl

Bettina said:


> Have you seen him play Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2? Here's an excerpt:


Quite the showmanship there. I recall he also did some conducting with special effects.


----------



## Dim7

Goodbye! So happy to have hidden TC!


----------



## Dim7

Friendzone The Above Poster


----------



## Dim7

Serial killers who don't get much love on Talk Classical


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Serial killers who don't get much love on Talk Classical


Gesualdo...but I guess he wasn't really serial. He "only" killed two people!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

A la carte Composer Menu 14 (Dvořák salad, Dufay soup, Kurtág tart...)


----------



## Bettina

MoonlightSonata said:


> A la carte Composer Menu 14 (Dvořák salad, Dufay soup, Kurtág tart...)


Sounds delicious. For some reason, Italian composer names always make me think of food! When I hear names like Puccini or Verdi, I usually say "yes, I'd like some parmesan cheese with that..."


----------



## ST4

Bettina said:


> Sounds delicious. For some reason, Italian composer names always make me think of food! When I hear names like Puccini or Verdi, I usually say "yes, I'd like some parmesan cheese with that..."


Mmmmm, cheesy classical music. I'll take a drink with that meal thanks! :cheers:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*A complaint:*
Your website's name contains a very rude word, and I am most offended. Please censor it to Talk Cl***ical or you can expect to hear from my lawyer.


----------



## Dim7

Threads you suspect have a consciousness of their own


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I'm going to composer some music which sounds like a server crashing........... wish me luck


----------



## Bettina

MoonlightSonata said:


> *A complaint:*
> Your website's name contains a very rude word, and I am most offended. Please censor it to Talk Cl***ical or you can expect to hear from my lawyer.


And please stop discussing that counterpoint book by Fux! His name is very offensive.


----------



## ST4

How much will it cost for me to purchase the Stupid Thread Ideas franchise?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> How much will it cost for me to purchase the Stupid Thread Ideas franchise?


$4.23 Plus VAT

 Harry Partch rules


----------



## Guest

Composers you would like if they didn't suck.


----------



## Guest

Let's ban minuets.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Kontrapunctus said:


> Let's ban minuets.


Even better, let's ban minutes. All time measurements must now be in hours or seconds.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> Even better, let's ban minutes. All time measurements must now be in hours or seconds.


Shock you mean no more 4'33" jokes eeeck


----------



## Bettina

MoonlightSonata said:


> Even better, let's ban minutes. All time measurements must now be in hours or seconds.


But then what happens to Chopin's Minute Waltz? Is it now the 60-second waltz?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Instead of Likes, lets have a rating scale from 1-10 on each post.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Bettina said:


> But then what happens to Chopin's Minute Waltz? Is it now the 60-second waltz?


Yes, or the 0.01667 Hour Waltz.


----------



## SixFootScowl

MoonlightSonata said:


> Yes, or the 0.01667 Hour Waltz.


Or we could call it the Minutia Waltz.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your favourite composition by an Alien being...............


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favourite composition by an Alien being...............


I guess it would have to be 4'33"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> I guess it would have to be 4'33"


You mean 0.0758 hours, that's its new correct title​


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> How much will it cost for me to purchase the Stupid Thread Ideas franchise?


Send $1011.98 to hpowders wire transfer and after receipt, you will promptly receive the official certificate on certified high quality asbestos parchment within 3 business days.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favourite composition by an Alien being...............


The Planets as seen from Jupiter.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Top Ten Infraction Posters on Talk Classical


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Top Ten Infraction Posters on Talk Classical


How come they all got banned?


----------



## hpowders

You think Florestan woulda gotten outta jail quicker if he just spoke his mind and didn't give his jailers a migraine with his singing?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> And please stop discussing that counterpoint book by Fux! His name is very offensive.


Imagine a poor kid going through grade school with the last name "Fux"? He/she wouldn't live longer than 10.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> But then what happens to Chopin's Minute Waltz? Is it now the 60-second waltz?


Nobody plays that Waltz in 60 seconds. When Arrau played it late in his career, you can go out for coffee and he might be three quarters of the way through it when you returned.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Top 10 ways to get banned on TC


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Top 10 ways to get banned on TC


1. Tell the truth
2. Tell the truth
3. Tell the truth
4. Tell the truth
5. Tell the truth
6. Tell the truth
7. Tell the truth
8. Tell the truth
9. Tell the truth
10. Tell it like it is


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> How much will it cost for me to purchase the Stupid Thread Ideas franchise?


This is really the best of the stupid thread ideas. In honor of that, they should just hand you the franchise for nothing.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> You think Florestan woulda gotten outta jail quicker if he just spoke his mind and didn't give his jailers a migraine with his singing?


Yes, a starving man singing such an energy consuming aria. Then (if you watch the DVD) he doesn't even have a chance to eat before he is dancing in the streets. Maybe they slipped some amphetamines into that sip of wine they gave him in the cell.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Yes, a starving man singing such an energy consuming aria. Then (if you watch the DVD) he doesn't even have a chance to eat before he is dancing in the streets. Maybe they slipped some amphetamines into that sip of wine they gave him in the cell.


I heard Rocco really had enough with Jon Vickers and preferred Al Capone in his jail instead.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> I heard *Rocco really had enough with Jon Vickers* and preferred Al Capone in his jail instead.


Yes, he had to have secretly slipped a side of beef into the cell every week to sustain that big man. But could Al Capone sing?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Sounds delicious. For some reason, Italian composer names always make me think of food! When I hear names like Puccini or Verdi, I usually say "yes, I'd like some parmesan cheese with that..."


Yes. I know what you mean.

Oh! Pardon me! I have to order some dessert. I know it's rude of me. Yes, waiter. Some Toscanini Tortoni, per favori.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Well it was good enough for Leonardo to paint over


Yeah, but when he got home his wife was so pissed off, she gave him a real schalacking.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Imagine a poor kid going through grade school with the last name "Fux"? He/she wouldn't live longer than 10.


Haha, he probably wouldn't give a "Fux" if people made fun of him.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Good idea! Maybe we could make it a desert island poll. Which candidate would you take to a desert island with you?


Only if Melania Trump runs for president.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favourite composition by an Alien being...............


We already have the complete works of Elliott Carter.


----------



## Bettina

Someone should run for president of TC. The slogan could be "make TC great again." Who do you nominate?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Someone should run for president of TC. The slogan could be "make TC great again." Who do you nominate?


This shows much too much intelligence for this particular thread. Stop embarrassing us.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Haha, he probably wouldn't give a "Fux" if people made fun of him.


Many times as a kid, when my life was in flux, I too didn't give a "fux".

Then I discovered 4'33" and following that, I REALLY didn't give a "fux".


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> This shows much too much intelligence for this particular thread. Stop embarrassing us.


OK, how about this: TC needs a first lady. I nominate Pugg's avatar.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> OK, how about this: TC needs a first lady. I nominate Pugg's avatar.


Nice. Nice. Okay. This is better....


----------



## ArtMusic

My elderly aunt wanted me to play some nice quiet smoothing music to help her sleep. I thought of _4'33"_ but I think the piece would do the very opposite - keep her awake because she would wonder why there is no music. Maybe this is a stupid idea but I thought I share this here.


----------



## Bettina

ArtMusic said:


> My elderly aunt wanted me to play some nice quiet smoothing music to help her sleep. I thought of _4'33"_ but I think the piece would do the very opposite - keep her awake because she would wonder why there is no music. Maybe this is a stupid idea but I thought I share this here.


Play it backwards to make it more interesting. "33'4 has prettier melodies than 4'33"


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

Post no. 1: I just bought a HIP series of Mozart keyboard concertos and the sound is horrible. I thought these dudes were hip, but the piano sounds out of tune and really small. Should I adjust the treble? The bass? The tone arm mass? It's like all CD's from 1993.


----------



## hpowders

TC Poll:

Would you as a TC poster see the irony if you go for your yearly physical and the MD tells you that you only have 4'33" to live?

1. Definitely yes!!

2. Maybe

3. I'm definitely short on time!

4. Who's CPE Bach?


----------



## hpowders

Newbie lazy classical music lover here!

Post no. 1: I have a mental block looking for employable "work". I think I could do better if I just concentrate on looking for "opus" instead.
What do you think?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Bettina said:


> Play it backwards to make it more interesting. "33'4 has prettier melodies than 4'33"


And, playing music backwards usually brings out secret messages.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> Help needed:
> 
> Post no. 1: I just bought a HIP series of Mozart keyboard concertos and the sound is horrible. I thought these dudes were hip, but the piano sounds out of tune and really small. Should I adjust the treble? The bass? The tone arm mass? It's like all CD's from 1993.


Those HIP recordings are kind of thin, lacking mass. Put a brick on the tone arm. That'll fix it.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Those HIP recordings are kind of thin, lacking mass. Put a brick on the tone arm. That'll fix it.


I have a Technics tone arm but I don't see that in the instruction booklet.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> I have a Technics tone arm but I don't see that in the instruction booklet.


Must be an old one that was produced before the HIP rage. So obviously they would not have this handy bit of advice in their manual. If anything, those heavy duty recordings of the days of yore (especially Beethoven symphonies) often required helium balloons tied to the tone arm to get a proper sound.


----------



## hpowders

The classical music I want for Xmas thread

Post no 1: I will start! I'm dreaming of a CD of J.S. Bach's Cello Concerto. Puleeeeze Santa!!!! I've been sooooo good! (Only two organized riots this month with my homies).


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Czerny. He wrote the same piano etude thousands of times. This has prompted my idea for a new poll, posted above.


Yeah, but dis-Czerny-ing listeners can tell them all apart.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> I would, I can't stand that painting


If that was a model of beauty, what was considered ugly back then? Like a gothic horror image!


----------



## Dim7

*Illusory threads*

Post here threads you have hallucinated...


----------



## joen_cph

Dim7 said:


> *Illusory threads*
> 
> Post here threads you have hallucinated...


............ supplemented with a thread of posts you´ve hallucinated, of course :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

joen_cph said:


> ............ supplemented with a thread of posts you´ve hallucinated, of course :lol:


I did that yesterday, I think............


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> *Illusory threads*
> 
> Post here threads you have hallucinated...


I hallucinated a thread about shrooms. Wait, maybe that wasn't a hallucination...


----------



## hpowders

Why don't we incorporate Talk Classical Standard Time so all TC members can post at the same time.

Post no. 1: I find it annoying for me on the east coast of the US to wait three more hours for the Californians to finally get their arses over here. TCST will help avoid that horrible inequity.


----------



## Dim7

Fun Game: Dehumanize the above poster


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Play it backwards to make it more interesting. "33'4 has prettier melodies than 4'33"


!pit tnellecxe nA


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That gives a whole new meaning to the term "symphony cycle!"


Except for poor Lalo who was a one "symphonie" wonder.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*Best Classical Music for Post Election Shock*
I voted for the metal post, but to my absolute horror the wooden post was elected. I'm traumatised, and so I'm in search of calming music to help recover.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Except for poor Lalo who was a one symphonie" wonder.


Is that a symphony unicycle?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Is that a symphony unicycle?


Ha! Ha! Yes! He took unicycle literally.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Is that a symphony unicycle?


Now I can't get the finale to Lalo's "Symphonie" out of my mind. It's really quite good!


----------



## Dim7

Is there some way of getting?


----------



## Pugg

Deleted post, sorry.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Pugg said:


> Deleted post, sorry.


That's not so stupid of a thread idea. We could make that thread and ask the site owner to set it up so that any time someone deletes a post, the deleted post would automatically appear in the "Deleted post, sorry" thread. Just think of the crazy stuff that would be in that thread!


----------



## Scopitone

"If You Post in This Thread, I Will Block You"


----------



## SixFootScowl

Scopitone said:


> "If You Post in This Thread, I Will Block You"


Now that is very nice of you to let us choose if we want you to block us. :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Random posters who don't deserve much love on TalkClassical


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Random posters who don't deserve much love on TalkClassical


A related idea: which posters are the most overrated? Who gets more likes than they should?


----------



## hpowders

Area 72.3: Members Only: (Enter 17 digit code you received on accepting membership)

New Administrative Policy:

Post no.1: You will be happy to know that from now on we will be identifying all threads that will be locked down in advance, so you don't waste your time there.

Feedback always welcome!


----------



## hpowders

Newbie Here!!

Post no.1: I am a third year musicology student at Juilliard and my fraternity asked me to ask you dudes something:
I'm reading this word for word:In keeping with HIP practices, which day of October is the optimal day for listening to Beethoven's Octet?

PS: They promised to give me more good questions to ask in the future.


----------



## hpowders

List your most un-******-able musical puns here!

Don't be afraid: ****** means bassoon!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> List your most un-******-able musical puns here!


My grocery Chopin Liszt--

1. Vivaldi's Four Seasonings
2. Minuet Maid juice
3. Beef Wellington's Victory
4. Thousand I'Isle Joyeuse Dressing


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> My grocery Chopin Liszt--
> 
> 1. Vivaldi's Four Seasonings
> 2. Minuet Maid juice
> 3. Beef Wellington's Victory
> 4. Thousand I'Isle Joyeuse Dressing


:lol::lol::lol:

Did you forget the orange Schubert? I'll go back for it. You are tired enough from Chopin.

I notice a Ries-k free trial of some test tube margarine in the circular. Should I pick up a pound or two?


----------



## hpowders

Favorite posters who quit because they left in frustration.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> "If You Post in This Thread, I Will Block You"


Why not? Everyone else Haas!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Why not? Everyone else Haas!


Not me! I would never "Bach" you!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Not me! I would never "Bach" you!


Thanks for that! For a minute I was having trouble Handeling the potential enormous psychological pressure of having the complete, harmonius banishment of the TC community.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Thanks for that! For a minute I was having trouble Handeling the potential enormous psychological pressure of having the complete, harmonius banishment of the TC community.


No worries! I've got your back...er, Bach, that is...


----------



## hpowders

It's nice to have a sanctuary zone like this. Anything I say that gets criticized, I just tell my lawyer/barrister that it was "just something meant to be stupid".


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> No worries! I've got your back...er, Bach, that is...


On page 4 of the circular, I noticed a good sale on Bach-Mann pretzel twists.

Should I pick up a kg. or two while I'm there to pick up the Schubert?

Salted or unsalted?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> On page 4 of the circular, I noticed a good sale on Bach-Mann pretzel twists.
> 
> Should I pick up a kg. or two while I'm there to pick up the Schubert?
> 
> Salted or unsalted?


No thanks, pretzels are too messy. Too many (George) Crumbs all over the place!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> No thanks, pretzels are too messy. Too many (George) Crumbs all over the place!


Well played. Crumb was high on my Liszt, but now obviously, it has become too popular and must inhabit the bottom.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Good idea! Maybe we could make it a desert island poll. Which candidate would you take to a desert island with you?


Easy! Whoever wins the Electoral College vote named Melania!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> It's nice to have a sanctuary zone like this. Anything I say that gets criticized, I just tell my lawyer/barrister that it was "just something meant to be stupid".


Yeah where Nobody knows the rules and have no respect for them and don't have to leave and can be as childish as possible.


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah where Nobody knows the rules and have no respect for them and don't have to leave and can be as childish as possible.


Yep, exactly! I love this thread. I baroque all the rules and I didn't get banned.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yep, exactly! I love this thread. I baroque all the rules and I didn't get banned.


I like Debussy because he broke all the rules too, but left me with a very positive impression.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Random posters who don't deserve much love on TalkClassical


Should be a long list.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah where Nobody knows the rules and have no respect for them and don't have to leave and can be as childish as possible.


Sounds like my autobiography.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I like Debussy because he broke all the rules too, but left me with a very positive impression.


Yeah, I like Ravel for the same reason. He un_ravel_ed the rules.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I like Ravel for the same reason. He un_ravel_ed the rules.


 Maybe so, but Debussy Claude his way to the top by re-writing the rules.


----------



## Bettina

I'm on a diet. What are your favorite low-cal orchestras?


----------



## hpowders

List your favorite/favourite music to help heal a Baroquen heart.

Post no. 1: My parents threw me out of my cozy basement apartment today and told me to find an opus, real, quick!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Maybe so, but Debussy Claude his way to the top by re-writing the rules.


Handel me the rules so I can Chopin them into Bach and throw them in the Glass Cage, as Haas been Verdi bad


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm on a diet. What are your favorite low-cal orchestras?


Well the Florida Orchestra must be down to 7 violins by now. That's as low-cal as it gets, I guess.


----------



## joen_cph

Bettina said:


> I'm on a diet. What are your favorite low-cal orchestras?











Apparently, one of the candidates ...


----------



## hpowders

Post deleted.


----------



## Bettina

Post deleted. My post baroque too many rules!


----------



## hpowders

Opinion Page. Note that posts don't Count in Number (or Advice either, Ha! Ha!)

What does it say about me that I spend all day creating Stupid Thread Ideas, day after day, after day, after day.....?


----------



## hpowders

Post deleted.


----------



## hpowders

Area 51.7: Members only. Strictly enforced.

Technical Question Section

Post no. 1: So how long do I have to be away before writing a "sorry, I'm leaving" thread. I need to go out for some bread.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Opinion Page. Note that posts don't Count in Number (or Advice either, Ha! Ha!)
> 
> What does it say about me that I spend all day creating Stupid Thread Ideas, day after day, after day, after day.....?


We love your humo(u)r. But if you slip up, we'll kick you out. We'll say "Shoo, man!"


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> We love your humo(u)r. But if you slip up, we'll kick you out. We'll say "Shoo, man!"


Ha! Ha! It's like scenes right out of childhood!


----------



## ST4

Sorry, I'm deleting this post


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I used liquid paper on this one

 Harry Partch rules


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Post deleted. My post baroque too many rules!


They can pay you to reconstruct it if they missed it.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> ˙sɐǝpᴉ pɐǝɹɥʇ pᴉdnʇs
> View attachment 90031
> I


Wow! You are turning TC over on its head! More than Elliott Carter!!


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Sorry, I'm deleting this post


One of your best ones!!!


----------



## SixFootScowl

I accidentally on purpose posted something bad, but I dis-posted it. Please don't ban me from further posting.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> I accidentally on purpose posted something bad, but I dis-posted it. Please don't ban me from further posting.


Was it dis-posed of correctly in an ecologically friendly manner or just thrown on the street............


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> I accidentally on purpose posted something bad, but I dis-posted it. Please don't ban me from further posting.


We will take this confession up at the next meeting of the TC Confessional Committee which meets on the fifth Thursday after Greek Easter Sunday. Your feta will be determined at that time. Don't call us. We'll call you. Don't try to leave. The committee has you 24/7 on Google Earth.

Not a warning. Just a threat.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> One of your best ones!!!


Thanks, I tried my best. I don't think I should be replying to your comment, but here goes.....


----------



## hpowders

Newbie Section: Post deletion workshop

Post no. 1: I don't know how you dudes and dudettes do it. So many of you delete posts so gracefully and with such class.
Can you teach me how? PM me please. Eager to learn. I want to act like I've been here a while.

It's impotent to me.


----------



## ST4

Now that I think about it, this comment doesn't really belong here or add much important conversation to this thread. Should I delete it too?


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Was it dis-posed of correctly in an ecologically friendly manner or just thrown on the street............


I'm afraid in my hurry to dis-post it, I just threw it on the street. Hopefully nobody picks it up and re-posts it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Originally Posted by *EddieRUKiddingVarese* 
_Was it dis-posed of correctly in an ecologically friendly manner or just thrown on the street............_

I'm afraid in my hurry to dis-post it, I just threw it on the street. Hopefully nobody picks it up and re-posts it.


----------



## joen_cph

Deleted posts you miss the most. Therapeutic room.


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Originally Posted by *EddieRUKiddingVarese*
> _Was it dis-posed of correctly in an ecologically friendly manner or just thrown on the street............_
> 
> I'm afraid in my hurry to dis-post it, I just threw it on the street. Hopefully nobody picks it up and re-posts it.


Well................... In my hurry to dis-post it, I just threw it on the street. I'm dreadfully sorry. Several hours have gone by, I honestly forgot about it. Hopefully nobody picks it up and re-posts it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

_







Originally Posted by *EddieRUKiddingVarese* 








Originally Posted by *EddieRUKiddingVarese* 
Was it dis-posed of correctly in an ecologically friendly manner or just thrown on the street............

I'm afraid in my hurry to dis-post it, I just threw it on the street. Hopefully nobody picks it up and re-posts it.

_

Well................... In my hurry to dis-post it, I just threw it on the street. I'm dreadfully sorry. Several hours have gone by, I honestly forgot about it. Hopefully nobody picks it up and re-posts it.​

Last edited by Eddie; Today at 33443:2623233. *Reason: Partch*​


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Well................... In my hurry to dis-post it, I just threw it on the street. I'm dreadfully sorry. Several hours have gone by, I honestly forgot about it. Hopefully nobody picks it up and re-posts it.


I see it! It's right at the corner of Microsoft Ave and Cyber Lane.


----------



## hpowders

Conservation Rule: Dis-post quickly becomes Compost.

After all this work posting about lost posts, I'm going to pour me a glass of apple cyber.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Stupid thread ideas? How about 'Classical Music and Politics'? Should survive 2-3 days given a fair wind.


----------



## hpowders

Pat Fairlea said:


> Stupid thread ideas? How about 'Classical Music and Politics'? Should survive 2-3 days given a fair wind.


I agree that there is absolutely no correlation between classical music preference and political preference.

However threads like that serve one useful function: it keeps me off the streets and out of trouble.


----------



## Judith

Composers that looked like other famous people. I think Liszt looked like King Richard III in his younger years.


----------



## Flamme

To paraphrase Wilde...There are no stupid ideas, there are only stupid threads!!!:lol:


----------



## hpowders

Flamme said:


> To paraphrase Wilde...There are no stupid ideas, there are only stupid threads!!!:lol:


He was a bit too Wilde for his time, which is what got him imprisoned and hastened his death.


----------



## Bettina

Judith said:


> Composers that looked like other famous people. I think Liszt looked like King Richard III in his younger years.


Rossini and Trump look pretty similar. But I like Rossini's haircut better than Trump's comb-over. Rossini had a better barber!!:lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Rossini and Trump look pretty similar. But I like Rossini's haircut better than Trump's comb-over. Rossini had a better barber!!:lol::lol:


As far as whether Trump will eventually look even more like Rossini, only time Will Tell.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How about we do a Poll on what is our favourite Classical Music Forum :devil:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How about we do a Poll on what is our favourite Classical Music Forum :devil:


-TC
-(censored)
-(censored)
-(censored)
_This is a public poll. Everyone can see what you vote for, and you may receive infraction points if you answer incorrectly._


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*New Forum Moderator:* ComposerOfAvantGarde


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> *New Forum Moderator:* ComposerOfAvantGarde


Is he back ...............


Krummy horn is his real name


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is he back ...............
> 
> Didn't you hear? The first thing Trump did after winning the election was to re-instate ComposerofAvantGarde. With full honors/honours,rank and sword.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> EddieRUKiddingVarese said:
> 
> 
> 
> Is he back ...............
> 
> Didn't you hear? The first thing Trump did after winning the election was to re-instate ComposerofAvantGarde. With full honors/honours,rank and sword.
> 
> 
> 
> This Trump fella aint all bad then............
Click to expand...


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> hpowders said:
> 
> 
> 
> This Trump fella aint all bad then............
> 
> 
> 
> Not bad at all.
Click to expand...


----------



## hpowders

Why did Moonlight Sonata pick the Hammerklavier as his favorite/favourite Beethoven sonata?

Post no. 1: For me this was completely trilling as it's my favorite/favourite too.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Why did Moonlight Sonata pick the Hammerklavier as his favorite/favourite Beethoven sonata?
> 
> Post no. 1: For me this was completely trilling as it's my favorite/favourite too.


Because I'm a complete lunartic.


----------



## Bettina

Your favorite composers with umlauts. Mine are Schütz, Saint-Saëns, and Ysaÿe.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: have you noticed any serious physical symptoms the moment you became a senior poster?

1. Severe back pain

2. Migraine headache

3. Reflux disease

4. Walking pneumonia

5. Mesothelioma

6. Who the hell is Ysaÿe?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Your favorite composers with umlauts. Mine are Schütz, Saint-Saëns, and Ysaÿe.


I would have to take you Ysaÿe-d and very privately tell you that I don't care for any of this current composer carnival.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Because I'm a complete lunartic.


No! Only the most sane are found on STI (but hopefully not afflicted with a STI).


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Your favorite composers with umlauts. Mine are Schütz, Saint-Saëns, and Ysaÿe.


Good news! A vaccine was just discovered for umlauts, but unfortunately it is $10,000 a dose, requiring 13 doses, one a week.

I guess some people like Saint-Saëns will be discouraged by the high price and just learn to live with their umlauts.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Good news! A vaccine was just discovered for umlauts, but unfortunately it is $10,000 a dose, requiring 13 doses, one a week.
> 
> I guess some people like Saint-Saëns will be discouraged by the high price and just learn to live with their umlauts.


Handel must have used that vaccine to clear up his "spots." He got rid of his umlaut when he moved to England.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Handel must have used that vaccine to clear up his "spots." He got rid of his umlaut when he moved to England.


Heh! Heh! But I bet he kept his thick German accent.

When only 11 choristers showed up for a Messiah performance, it is written that he said:

Dun't Vurry, I vill Händel id.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Musicians' Prayers

Post no. 1: Germany 1674: Lord, Gott. Please don't give me umlauts!


----------



## hpowders

Emergency Section of Community Forum: Is it true?

Post no. 1: I heard that on January 21, President Trump will change Talk Classical to 100% Hard Rock and "Roll Over Beethoven" will be the new theme song, playing all day when we log in.
Please verify!!!


----------



## millionrainbows

My Favorite HIP Recording:


----------



## Pat Fairlea

hpowders said:


> I agree that there is absolutely no correlation between classical music preference and political preference.
> 
> However threads like that serve one useful function: it keeps me off the streets and out of trouble.


Oh, I can get into all sorts of trouble whilst off the streets!


----------



## hpowders

Why is this composer, Ysaÿe and not Ysaye? 

Post no. 1: Is he some kind of VIP? Anyhow, now I'm thinking of changing my name from Holloway to Hollowaÿ. If he could do it, why not me?


----------



## millionrainbows

Long-lost recording of Liberace playing the Schoenberg Piano Concerto discovered


----------



## ST4

Help a metalhead find Jesus


----------



## Dim7

Top 10 Favorite Deletions


----------



## millionrainbows

ST4 said:


> Help a metalhead find Jesus


…Because they've already discovered The Devil! Har har...


----------



## millionrainbows

"Why Is Schoenberg's Music So Hard To Understand?" by Mister Rogers.


----------



## ST4

millionrainbows said:


> …Because they've already discovered The Devil! Har har...


Tritones are sinful, he will be sent to a lake of fire for all eternity!!!!!


----------



## ST4

Help a Mozartian find Satanism


----------



## ST4

Help a Christian find Scientology


----------



## joen_cph

millionrainbows said:


> Long-lost recording of Liberace playing the Schoenberg Piano Concerto discovered











And here´s even a photo from the session!


----------



## Bettina

ST4 said:


> Help a Christian find Scientology


Just take a Cruise to the nearest Scientology church...


----------



## Judith

hpowders said:


> Poll: have you noticed any serious physical symptoms the moment you became a senior poster?
> 
> 1. Severe back pain
> 
> 2. Migraine headache
> 
> 3. Reflux disease
> 
> 4. Walking pneumonia
> 
> 5. Mesothelioma
> 
> 6. Who the hell is Ysaÿe?


I suffer from these anyway lol!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TC Top Recommended "TC Top Recommended" Lists


----------



## ST4

MoonlightSonata said:


> TC Top Recommended "TC Top Recommended" Lists


Top ten reccommend, recommendation lists part 1, vol. 4, series 4, episode 33


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> I suffer from these anyway lol!!


Okay. You will be assigned to the control group for the research project! LOL!!


----------



## hpowders

Depression Thread

Post no. 1: I went to the Recommendations thread and it was unanimously recommended that I leave TC.
I have a question:

1. Do folks around here believe in "Why folks leave TC in frustration" threads? If it's okay, I will post one.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Just take a Cruise to the nearest Scientology church...


And then take a Cruise back Holmes. Nothing like getting back to familiar surroundings.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Help a Mozartian find Satanism


You should be attacked by a Wolf Gang for attempting to equate Mozart with Satan.

Scared the heck out of me. Hiding under the Satan sheets!!!


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> "Why Is Schoenberg's Music So Hard To Understand?" by Mister Rogers.


That is why I could not relate to my kids when they were small and why I can't be an elementary school teacher. I would be doing some similar esoteric topic that would bore the kids silly, like perhaps trying to explain the differences in Mussorgsky's Boris Godunov from his 1869 original to his 1872 revisions and then what Rimsky did to it.


----------



## hpowders

Help a pithy hpowdersian find posting dissertationism.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Help a pithy hpowdersian find posting dissertationism.


I want to be a hpowdersian, what posts do you reccommend to get me started?


----------



## millionrainbows

ST4 said:


> Help a Mozartian find Satanism


Beethoven was a Mason, which in the Catholic Church's eyes was heresy, akin to Satanism or Paganism. If Mozart was a Mason, he may have already been helped.

But I digress; this is not stupid.


----------



## millionrainbows

ST4 said:


> Help a Christian find Scientology


Help Chick Corea find Scientology…no, wait, he already found it.

Did you know? You can be a Christian, and a Scientologist at the same time!

It's OK, I would just advise you to keep the Scientology part a secret.

That's OK, though; they work the best in secret.


----------



## millionrainbows

Florestan said:


> That is why I could not relate to my kids when they were small and why I can't be an elementary school teacher. I would be doing some similar esoteric topic that would bore the kids silly, like perhaps trying to explain the differences in Mussorgsky's Boris Godunov from his 1869 original to his 1872 revisions and then what Rimsky did to it.


"Why Is Schoenberg's Music So Hard To Understand?"

Because you're a great big poopy-head!!


----------



## SixFootScowl

millionrainbows said:


> "Why Is Schoenberg's Music So Hard To Understand?"
> 
> Because you're a great big poopy-head!!


They probably thought that when I tried to read to them from Eugen Böhm von Bawerk's "Capital and Interest" when they were about 9 and 12 years old. I really did, about half a page and they left the room. :lol:

They stuck around for all of Herman Melville's "Bartlby the Scrivener" because they were a captive audience in a snow cave we had built.


----------



## ST4

millionrainbows said:


> Beethoven was a Mason, which in the Catholic Church's eyes was heresy, akin to Satanism or Paganism. If Mozart was a Mason, he may have already been helped.
> 
> But I digress; this is not stupid.


Yes, I am actually aware of his Masonic involvements, shhhh


----------



## SixFootScowl

New thread: Great composers who were Masons.


----------



## ST4

Florestan said:


> New thread: Great composers who were Masons.


If I became a Mason, would I be on that list?


----------



## hpowders

ST4: 

Numbers 6, 38, 134 and 11379.


----------



## SixFootScowl

ST4 said:


> If I became a Mason, would I be on that list?


Depends. Are you a composer? If so, we could run a TC poll to determine if you are great.


----------



## SixFootScowl

How rank are the 10 major Wagner operas?


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> New thread: Great composers who were Masons.


There was Mozart.

The Magic Flute paid tribute to Freemason ritual, as opposed to Slavemason ritual, I guess.


----------



## hpowders

Symbolism Section:

Post no. 1: I heard that the Magic Flute was symbolic of something else.

I disagree. I think that's simply a phallicy


----------



## SixFootScowl

Help a classical-head find metal music.


----------



## hpowders

Very bright pictures to make your day funny.

Post no. 1: Anyone have the solar eclipse from Tokyo, March, 1974?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Top 10 Favorite Deletions


I really regret that I have to do this, but the 72 Wordsworth very little toward the propulsion of the topic at hand, so rather than interact with my clique and frustrate those who came to this thread and expected topic enlightenment, I have decided to acid wash delete this post.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I really regret that I have to do this, but the 72 Wordsworth very little toward the propulsion of the topic at hand, so rather than interact with my clique and frustrate those who came to this thread and expected topic enlightenment, I have decided to acid wash delete this post.


I really regret that I have to do this, but the 72 Wordsworth very little toward the propulsion of the topic at hand, so rather than interact with my clique and frustrate those who came to this thread and expected topic enlightenment, I have decided to acid wash delete this post.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Help, I can't stop listening to Boris Godunov.

The reason this is a stupid thread idea is because if I were to start that thread, people would tell me how to stop, and I don't want to stop.


----------



## Bettina

Florestan said:


> Help, I can't stop listening to Boris Godunov.
> 
> The reason this is a stupid thread idea is because if I were to start that thread, people would tell me how to stop, and I don't want to stop.


You need to go to Borisholics Anonymous.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Bettina said:


> You need to go to Borisholics Anonymous.


I don't know if they would be Godunov to get me off the Boris kick.


----------



## ST4

Albert7 said:


> Morton Feldman-branded ice skates.


I could do with those!!


----------



## ST4

stevens said:


> Who is the greatest composer ever
> Who is your favorite composer
> Who is the greatest pianist ever
> Who is your favorite conductor
> Who are the greatest conductors ever in alphabetic order
> Who are your favorite conductors in reverse alphabetic order


Pretty much hasn't changed :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Let's try this purely for fun: Composers whose middle names start with Gü

Post no. 1: _Gee you_ guys and gals know everything, so try this!!


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Yes, I am actually aware of his Masonic involvements, shhhh


You didn't need to be Perry Mason to figure that out.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> You didn't need to be Perry Mason to figure that out.


But was Perry a Mason?


----------



## hpowders

Religious Section:

Post no. 1: I am devoutly religious and because of that my progressively liberal friends have all shunned me.
Do you know of any good classical pieces that can drive me toward atheism, like my friends.
I just want to be liked!


----------



## Bettina

Florestan said:


> But was Perry a Mason?


Well, he set many of his clients "free."


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Recommend me harmonious, melodic music like Penderecki's Threnody to the Victims of Hiroshima

Recommend me simple, joyous music like the Grosse Fuge

Recommend me dark, ominous music like the Dance of the Reed Flutes

Recommend me calming, relaxing music like Schnittke's viola concerto

Recommend me light, gentle music like Wagner

Recommend me short, quick pieces like Mahler's third symphony


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> But was Perry a Mason?


No Perry was a Winkle.


----------



## hpowders

Hummel to pummel

Post no. 1: Here's your chance to voice major complaints about Hummel's compositions
(Trumpet Concerto and A minor Piano Concerto, excepted)


----------



## Bettina

MoonlightSonata said:


> Recommend me harmonious, melodic music like Penderecki's Threnody to the Victims of Hiroshima
> 
> Recommend me simple, joyous music like the Grosse Fuge
> 
> Recommend me dark, ominous music like the Dance of the Reed Flutes
> 
> Recommend me calming, relaxing music like Schnittke's viola concerto
> 
> Recommend me light, gentle music like Wagner
> 
> Recommend me short, quick pieces like Mahler's third symphony


Recommend me a non-political thread like "best classical music for post-election shock recovery"


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Bettina said:


> Recommend me a non-political thread like "best classical music for post-election shock recovery"


Recommend me a serious, boring thread like Stupid Thread Ideas


----------



## Pugg

How many accounts are aloud, according to the rules by one person?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Extremely Loud, in fact the louder you are the more accounts you can have thats a fact in the TOS.......


----------



## ST4

Where do I go to talk about my feelings?


----------



## ST4

If someone misses you so much, doesn't it mean they loves you?


----------



## Dim7

*When you thought you missed a TC member but realized you only missed their avatar*

...when somebody else started to use it.


----------



## joen_cph

Exchanging Avatars 
- offers & negotations


----------



## SixFootScowl

ST4 said:


> If someone misses you so much, doesn't it mean they loves you?


Or that they have bad aim. :lol:


----------



## Bettina

joen_cph said:


> Exchanging Avatars
> - offers & negotations


I want to buy the C-sharp and the A-flat from ST4's avatar. How much do they cost? Can I get a diminished discount?


----------



## hpowders

Classical music for people who are criminally psychotic.

Post no. 1: Newbie here. I only need 2-3 pieces.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I want to buy the C-sharp and the A-flat from ST4's avatar. How much do they cost? Can I get a diminished discount?


Just 'til midnight, you only need to put down a minor sixth of the total purchase price. PM for details!


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> *When you thought you missed a TC member but realized you only missed their avatar*
> 
> ...when somebody else started to use it.


I noticed that! I got many more hits when I was William Schuman and then Leonard Bernstein. Now with no avatar, folks don't care if I starve!!


----------



## Kivimees

Wanted: Degree in music.

Willing to trade for other academic degrees. No reasonable offer refused.


----------



## hpowders

Kivimees said:


> Wanted: Degree in music.
> 
> Willing to trade for other academic degrees. No reasonable offer refused.


I have a DM from Cartis. You want it or not. I got people lined up here waiting. Make up your mind already! No pressure.


----------



## Kivimees

I'm looking for some great sonatas to listen to while I chop wood. Recommendations?


----------



## Bettina

Kivimees said:


> I'm looking for some great sonatas to listen to while I chop wood. Recommendations?


I think you wood like these:
Beethoven Woodstein sonata, performed by Emmanuel Ax
CHOP-in Piano Treeo


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I think you wood like these:
> Beethoven Woodstein sonata, performed by Emmanuel Ax
> CHOP-in Piano Treeo


Ha! Ha! Freddy's favorites from Halloween.

I could comment more, but in the name of decency, I ab-stain.


----------



## ST4

Do you have a degree in Scientology Studies?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Do you have a study of degrees of Scientology (or was that the Masons)?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do you have a Masons in Scientology or was that the study of degrees ?


----------



## SixFootScowl

Are there Masons who also are Scientologists? Masontologists, they are!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

They are also called masonites, best gathered together in sheets.............


----------



## SixFootScowl

I get far more likes from posts in "Stupid Thread Ideas" than all the rest of TC. Of course, being complimented for stupidity is not necessarily a good thing.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Famous classical music in myths.


----------



## ST4

Florestan said:


> I get far more likes from posts in "Stupid Thread Ideas" than all the rest of TC. Of course, being complimented for stupidity is not necessarily a good thing.


Best of all, it doesn't even add to your post count


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Your considered opinion of TalkClassical

-Genius website, worthy of worship
-One of the very best websites
-Wait a minute while I google the name...


----------



## SixFootScowl

ST4 said:


> Best of all, it doesn't even add to your post count


Auggggh! That's the whole stupid reason I was posting in this thread and now you tell me it doesn't even count!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> Auggggh! That's the whole stupid reason I was posting in this thread and now you tell me it doesn't even count!


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Hang on, that mine don't count either damnations and I was going to retire when I got to 10,000







looks like I'll be hear awhile longer..................


----------



## ST4

Florestan said:


> Auggggh! That's the whole stupid reason I was posting in this thread and now you tell me it doesn't even count!


Lol, ask a mod but it's the whole community forum :lol:


----------



## SixFootScowl

Moderators! Can I have my posts counted retroactively?

I was deceived because I thought I was getting post count here and nobody told me until after hundreds of posts that I don't. I feel like I have wasted many stupid hours of my time making stupid thread idea and now it is stupidly not going to count. 

If I don't get my posts counted, I may have to leave TC. It isn't fair! I didn't know. Who reads all the forum rules anyway, huh? That would be a stupid waste of time.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Florestan said:


> Moderators! Can I have my posts counted retroactively?
> 
> I was deceived because I thought I was getting post count here and nobody told me until after hundreds of posts that I don't. I feel like I have wasted many stupid hours of my time making stupid thread idea and now it is stupidly not going to count.
> 
> If I don't get my posts counted, I may have to leave TC. It isn't fair! I didn't know. Who reads all the forum rules anyway, huh? That would be a stupid waste of time.


Psssst there is a little known TOS requirement that when you get to 16,666 posts all your posts get deleted and your account terminated..................:tiphat: but keep it quiet....................


----------



## MoonlightSonata

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Psssst there is a little known TOS requirement that when you get to 16,666 posts all your posts get deleted and your account terminated..................:tiphat: but keep it quiet....................


Does that mean Pugg is a bot?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> Does that mean Pugg is a bot?


I'm EddieBot
 Harry Partch is the best


----------



## Blancrocher

*What is this piano piece?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Blancrocher said:


> *What is this piano piece?*


Will it explode if I touch it


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Psssst there is a little known TOS requirement that when you get to 16,666 posts all your posts get deleted and your account terminated..................:tiphat: but keep it quiet....................


See. I told you it's a waste of time reading the forum rules. Little known secret requirement, eh? We'll show em. We should all up and leave TC. That'll show em.


----------



## Dim7

Why must Meistersinger die?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: Your considered opinion of TalkClassical
> 
> -Genius website, worthy of worship
> -One of the very best websites
> -Wait a minute while I google the name...


I chose "where haters of Schoenberg get unjustly clocked."


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Why must Meistersinger die?


I'm going to Meistersinger's tonight for some pork loin and apple sauce. Then on to La Campanella's for some Italian cheesecake and espresso.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm EddieBot
> Harry Partch is the best


In the botulistic sense?


----------



## joen_cph

post deleted ...............















(EDIT: deleted for real, since posts about Donald Trump´s cultural policy or lack thereof clearly don´t belong here)


----------



## SixFootScowl

joen_cph said:


> post deleted ...............


Ah, this keeps coming up as a stupid thread idea and I think it really should be pursued on the community forum.


----------



## SixFootScowl

What if we reorchestrate Meistersinger to sound like Barber of Seville?


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> What if we reorchestrate Meistersinger to sound like Barber of Seville?


Only Ravel could pull that trick off.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> Only Ravel could pull that trick off.


But wouldn't that be the unraveling of Meistersinger! Here we have a contradiction of Raveling and unraveling both at the same time. This could actually upset the metaphysical balance of the universe and spell doom for all living creatures in a huge clash the likes of which could only be described as the smashing of a black hole against a white hole.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> But wouldn't that be the unraveling of Meistersinger! Here we have a contradiction of Raveling and unraveling both at the same time. This could actually upset the metaphysical balance of the universe and spell doom for all living creatures in a huge clash the likes of which could only be described as the smashing of a black hole against a white hole.


I was about to write the same thing, almost word for word, but you beat me to it. Reminds me of the TV quiz show "Beat the Clock".


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Which Beethoven do you prefer?

-The Composer
-The Dog
-I like both


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: Which Beethoven do you prefer?
> 
> -The Composer
> -The Dog
> -I like both


Which represents the manic Beethoven and which is the depressive Beethoven?


----------



## hpowders

How did people ever attend Toscanini concerts? 

Post no.1: I've sampled a lot of Toscanini concert CDs and the sound appears to be excruciating for all of them. Hopefully those poor people got their money back. Comments?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Which represents the manic Beethoven and which is the depressive Beethoven?


Both of them are bi-paw-ler.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Beethoven! The peoples' composer. 

Beethoven is a composer for the man on the street, not the elite. His crass manner and gauche habits make him part and parcle of the average beer-drinking, factory worker American. So, why do American beer-drinking factory workers not listen to his music?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Both of them are bi-paw-ler.


I obviously didn't have to paws long for a characteristically brilliant reply!


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Beethoven! The peoples' composer.
> 
> Beethoven is a composer for the man on the street, not the elite. His crass manner and gauche habits make him part and parcle of the average beer-drinking, factory worker American. So, why do American beer-drinking factory workers not listen to his music?


Yup! Americans voted for Donald Trump and Louis Beethoven on the same ticket.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I obviously didn't have to paws long for a characteristically brilliant reply!


Thanks for tailing me that I'm brilliant!!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thanks for tailing me that I'm brilliant!!


That was easy. It only took a few seconds off the clock to do so. I didn't have to paw over a lot of different prepared remarks. It came right out of my head.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> Yup! Americans voted for Donald Trump and Louis Beethoven on the same ticket.


Perhaps the beer-drinking factory workers will appreciate Beethoven more if we have a movie made about him that displays his rude manner of tell it as he sees it. People seem to love in-your-face statements when directed to anyone but themselves. That was part of the Trump appeal. Many ******** loved to see half of America cringe every time he spoke.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Perhaps the beer-drinking factory workers will appreciate Beethoven more if we have a movie made about him that displays his rude manner of tell it as he sees it. People seem to love in-your-face statements when directed to anyone but themselves. That was part of the Trump appeal. Many ******** loved to see half of America cringe every time he spoke.


Perhaps, but I doubt it. It would most likely be a box office flop.


----------



## hpowders

Philosophical section

A thread is only stupid if you believe it to be so. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

If Tchaikovsky was alive today, would he and Mme. von Meck be TC friends?


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> Philosophical section
> 
> A thread is only stupid if you believe it to be so. Discuss.


That depends whether it is philosophically stupid or just plain stupid.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Unstupid thread ideas.

Here we want to post all stupid thread ideas that with a bit more thought can be made unstupid.

Aside: Is unstupid a word?


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> That depends whether it is philosophically stupid or just plain stupid.


The thread was intended to boost the egos of any fragile members who needed encouragement.

I don't intend to confuse them.

Even though your point may be valid, I do not want to turn fragile posters into in-valids.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Unstupid thread ideas.
> 
> Here we want to post all stupid thread ideas that with a bit more thought can be made unstupid.
> 
> Aside: Is unstupid a word?


It's only unstupid if you believe it to be so.


----------



## hpowders

My Funeral Music:

1. Verdi Requiem
2. Bach B minor Mass
3. Haydn The Creation
4. Faure Requiem

Intermission (15 minutes: Please be prompt!)

5. Rogers & Hammerstein South Pacific
6. J.S. Bach's unknown, unwritten cello concerto.

So what do you think?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Will it explode if I touch it


Depends what "it" is and where you touch it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> In the botulistic sense?


Tried it didn't taste too good but my metaphysical balance is still intact. Us Bot Borgs are pretty tough you know....


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Tried it didn't taste too good but my metaphysical balance is still intact. Us Bot Borgs are pretty tough you know....


No hard feelings. Just another Bach-teria joke.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Depends what "it" is and where you touch it.


Can I touch it now and where should I touch it??


----------



## joen_cph

hpowders said:


> My Funeral Music:
> 
> 1. Verdi Requiem
> 2. Bach B minor Mass
> 3. Haydn The Creation
> 4. Faure Requiem
> 
> Intermission (15 minutes: Please be prompt!)
> 
> 5. Rogers & Hammerstein South Pacific
> 6. J.S. Bach's unknown, unwritten cello concerto.
> 
> So what do you think?


Good choices, and no offense, but statistically speaking, there might even be one among the audience accompanying you, before that (long) concert would be over ...


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Can I touch it now and where should I touch it??


Consult the Manuel, de Falla!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Consult the Manuel, de Falla!


Yeah, de Falla is an expert on Manuel labor.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> It's only unstupid if you believe it to be so.


Oh. Here we go again. This philosophy stuff seems very circular, almost like a downward spiral.


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> My Funeral Music:
> 
> 1. Verdi Requiem
> 2. Bach B minor Mass
> 3. Haydn The Creation
> 4. Faure Requiem
> 
> Intermission (15 minutes: Please be prompt!)
> 
> 5. Rogers & Hammerstein South Pacific
> 6. J.S. Bach's unknown, unwritten cello concerto.
> 
> So what do you think?


Now wouldn't it be nice if they'd let you live through it so you could hear these one last time and then kill you after the service?


----------



## Bettina

Florestan said:


> Oh. Here we go again. This philosophy stuff seems very circular, almost like a downward spiral.


It's only circular if you believe it to be so...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Yeah, de Falla is an expert on Manuel labor.


Oh good I will touch him up................


----------



## millionrainbows

MoonlightSonata said:


> Does that mean Pugg is a bot?


If she is, I'd like to engage in some repetitive actions with her.


----------



## millionrainbows

Post #11567: Continually striving for ever more refined and courageous expressions of stupidity. We owe this to ourselves, our fellow members, the forum, country, and Dog.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> Now wouldn't it be nice if they'd let you live through it so you could hear these one last time and then kill you after the service?


I thought the South Pacific right after the intermission would help pacifi the crowd.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, de Falla is an expert on Manuel labor.


Yeah. He had a lot of practice doing Manuel labor in retirement when his favorite hobby was planting during the nights when it was cooler in the Gardens of Spain.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh good I will touch him up................


Careful there, Botchie.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Careful there, Botchie.


Does he bite..........................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does he bite..........................


Programmed that way...bits, bites.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> It's only circular if you believe it to be so...


Circular like a wall clock really high up.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Programmed that way...bits, bites.


Just as well I am a Bot then


----------



## hpowders

Horrible Musical Dreams Department

Post no. 1: I dreamt I was in jail and the cook threw a big tureen of really hot soup at me and I had to Khachaturian with my bare hands!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just as well I am a Bot then


Trapped in cyberspace with George Clooney, Sandra Bullock and no oxygen.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Horrible Musical Dreams Department
> 
> Post no. 1: I dreamt I was in jail and the cook threw a big tureen of really hot soup at me and I had to Khachaturian with my bare hands!


I hope the Suppe wasn't too hot to Handel!


----------



## SixFootScowl

Bettina said:


> It's only circular if you believe it to be so...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Trapped in cyberspace with George Clooney, Sandra Bullock and no oxygen.


I have no problem with that, as Bot don't need O2 but would ditch George ...............


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Horrible Musical Dreams Department
> 
> Post no. 1: I dreamt I was in jail and the cook threw a big tureen of really hot soup at me and I had to Khachaturian with my bare hands!


Then the prison guard told the cook to get out of your cell. There should only be one person Purcell.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


>


Makes me hungry for a big bowl of scream of wheat.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have no problem with that, as Bot don't need O2 but would ditch George ...............


You and me both. Just me Sandra and that big beautiful clock.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Then the prison guard told the cook to get out of your cell. There should only be one person Purcell.


Deftly played!! :lol::lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite Z composers:

Post no. 1: For me it's Zach, Zeethoven, Zahms, Zebussy, Zavel and Zahler; not necessarily in that order of preference.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Then the prison guard told the cook to get out of your cell. *There should only be one person Purcell.*


As long as they leave me my big clock with the 2 hands, I'll pass the time very well thank you.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Your favorite Z composers:
> 
> Post no. 1: For me it's Zach, Zeethoven, Zahms, Zebussy, Zavel and Zahler; not necessarily in that order of preference.


I like the two "zoo" composers: Zooman and Zoobert.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I like the two "zoo" composers: Zooman and Zoobert.


I hear Zooman may have been bipolar, just like Zeethoven before him. I think they were both a bit in-Zane.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Then the prison guard told the cook to get out of your cell. *There should only be one person Purcell.*


This is now my all-time favorite! Even better than ST4's "Can I buy the Stupid Thread Idea Franchise?"


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I hear Zooman may have been bipolar, just like Zeethoven before him. I think they were both a bit in-Zane.


Yeah, Zooman was pretty messed up. He even attempted zoo-icide!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, Zooman was pretty messed up. He even attempted zoo-icide!


Ha! Ha! Yeah. Too bad. Acting inzane didn't make a good impression on his girl or her father.

Didn't they ship him off to La Campanella Hills to recuperate while Brahms made his move?

Zooman could pass the time playing piano 24/7. Too bad they removed all the piano wire, so he wouldn't strangle himself.

Oh well. He could have had a job playing piano for a silent movie.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Your favorite Z composers:
> 
> Post no. 1: For me it's Zach, Zeethoven, Zahms, Zebussy, Zavel and Zahler; not necessarily in that order of preference.


What no Zozart!


----------



## hpowders

I deleted this post.

I will leave it to you the reader to determine if I was correct in deleting it.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What no Zozart!


Nah. He had zyphyliz. I didn't want to catch it so I left him out.


----------



## hpowders

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for the 86 CD Charles Munch/BSO set today.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Bettina said:


> Then the prison guard told the cook to get out of your cell. There should only be one person Purcell.


Unfortunately, the guard isn't very good at counting. He Tallis up the number of people every time he goes past to make sure that nobody has snuck Orff somewhere else.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for the 86 CD Charles Munch/BSO set today.


That set costs too Munch money!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Unfortunately, the guard isn't very good at counting. He Tallis up the number of people every time he goes past to make sure that nobody has snuck Orff somewhere else.


I thought a Tallis is something Jews wear at Saturday prayers.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That set costs too Munch money!


Just because you find the price Orff limits doesn't mean others wouldn't step forward to Bach me when I need help.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Just because you find the price Orff limits doesn't mean others wouldn't step forward to Bach me when I need help.


Sorry I can't Bach you. I'm totally Baroque!


----------



## hpowders

Religious Section: 

Favorite Messiaenic music on the Prophecy label?


----------



## SixFootScowl

hpowders said:


> Your favorite Z composers:
> 
> Post no. 1: For me it's Zach, Zeethoven, Zahms, Zebussy, Zavel and Zahler; not necessarily in that order of preference.


I would add Zendellsohn, both Zelix and Zanny. And Zaint-Zaëns.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Sorry I can't Bach you. I'm totally Baroque!


That's okay. I will simply ask for a pro-rated refund of my 25 year Premium TC Membership.

That would have gotten me to the year 2041 CD.


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> I would add Zendellsohn, both Zelix and Zanny. And Zaint-Zaëns.


That Camille wrote some really Zaëny music, no?


----------



## hpowders

Florestan said:


> I would add Zendellsohn, both Zelix and Zanny. And Zaint-Zaëns.


 With the names Zanny and Zelix, I'm surprised they made it to 10 years of age at school.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> As long as they leave me my big clock with the 2 hands, I'll pass the time very well thank you.


That clock on the wall is all I need to do some serious hard time.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Sorry I can't Bach you. I'm totally Baroque!


Thanks anyway. I will look under the sofa cushions to see if any coins are Haydn there.

If not, I may have to give B Flat Clarinet lessons. $40 per hour.

But embouchure yet. I haven't yet decided.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Bettina said:


> Sorry I can't Bach you. I'm totally Baroque!


Being Baroque is really Straussful, but Weir all in this together!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Being Baroque is really Straussful, but Weir all in this together!


Sprach for yourself, Zarathustra!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I hope the Suppe wasn't too hot to Handel!


You should Cam and taste some vegetable Suppe I just made, Bell-e.


----------



## hpowders

Living Large With Classical Music Department

Post no. 1: I'm proud to say that I have 69 different performances of Haydn's Clock Symphony.
Isn't this acceptable proof that I am living large?
Wish I could continue, but the mailman is ringing my doorbell. Should be my monthly federal assistance check. Yes!!!


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Trapped in cyberspace with George Clooney, Sandra Bullock and no oxygen.


Eew, that is horrible. The only thing worse would be Glenn Close and Ernest Borgnine.


----------



## millionrainbows

What is the best boudoir music, Ravel's Bolero or Schoenberg's String Trio?


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> What is the best boudoir music, Ravel's Bolero or Schoenberg's String Trio?


Bolero. It worked for Bo Derek!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> What is the best boudoir music, Ravel's Bolero or Schoenberg's String Trio?


Schoenberg worked for the three stooges


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Being Baroque is really Straussful, but Weir all in this together!


Glad you finally woke up, MS. Haven't heard from you in a Weill.

Hope this post I'm making doesn't elicit a Kurt response.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Schoenberg worked for the three stooges


So that's why some folks believe him to be Moe-ravian.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Bolero. It worked for Bo Derek!


These days I'd rate her an 8.75.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What no Zozart!


Okay let me explain the difference.

Mozart wrote 27 piano concertos, the Requiem and the Great Mass in C minor.

Zozart is the dude who decided to tamper with Handel's Messiah by introducing anachronistic clarinets, completely spoiling Handel's textures.

Now you know why there is no Zozart.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Schoenberg worked for the three stooges


Maybe that's why some posters elicited outrage on the Schoenberg threads by practically calling him a Moe-ron?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Schoenberg worked for the three stooges


Perhaps that explains why late in life Schoenberg developed Larry-gitous?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Schoenberg worked for the three stooges


That could explain why he enjoyed fried Shemp so much?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Maybe that's why some posters elicited outrage on the Schoenberg threads by practically calling him a Moe-ron?


Also, maybe that's why Schoenberg worked on an opera called Moe-ses and Aron.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Also, maybe that's why Schoenberg worked on an opera called Moe-ses and Aron.


An astute observation!

He was superstitious of the number 13 (Aron instead of Aaron) and that's how many letters I have in my name.

Why oh why couldn't my parents have named me hpowers???? Add that to my long list of grievances.

I don't want to keep posting about the 3 Stooges. It can get Moe-notonous.

I'd rather spend the time listening to Jennifer Larry-more sing Handel arias.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Schoenberg worked for the three stooges


Did he work for anyone else?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Did he work for anyone else?


Does he not work for you? Have you tried turning him off then turning him on again?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Does he not work for you? Have you tried turning him off then turning him on again?


I turned him off for 4'33", but I still don't know who else besides the 3 Stooges, Schoenberg worked for.

All I know is his pupil wrote a nice violin concerto and in his spare time made money flipping Berg-ers.


----------



## hpowders

While there's a lull in the action, I'm going to the 'fridge and get a dish of some rainbow Schubert. I know it's in there somewhere...oh there it is right behind the broiled Trout.

Whew! For a moment there I thought it had Forellen!


----------



## hpowders

Why I hate Vivaldi.

The Four Reasons: 1. Spring. 2. Summer 3. Autumn 4. Winter.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I turned him off for 4'33", but I still don't know who else besides the 3 Stooges, Schoenberg worked for.
> 
> All I know is his pupil wrote a nice violin concerto and in his spare time made money flipping Berg-ers.


Schoenberg and his students opened a restaurant. Their slogan was "Do you like piping hot Berg-ers? Webern them here."


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> While there's a lull in the action, I'm going to the 'fridge and get a dish of some rainbow Schubert. I know it's in there somewhere...oh there it is right behind the broiled Trout.
> 
> Whew! For a moment there I thought it had Forellen!


The other day I tried eating five pieces of trout. It was too much and I left the Trout Quintet unfinished.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Schoenberg and his students opened a restaurant. Their slogan was "Do you like piping hot Berg-ers? Webern them here."


And because it was so successful in LA, they made the restaurant a chain, and moved the next restaurant to Berlin-where the specialty was really good-looking sandwiches, which they called Schoen-Berg-ers.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> And because it was so successful in LA, they made the restaurant a chain, and moved the next restaurant to Berlin-where the specialty was really good-looking sandwiches, which they called Schoen-Berg-ers.


Yes, they made Schoen-Berg-ers with all 12 toppings.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The other day I tried eating five pieces of trout. It was too much and I left the Trout Quintet unfinished.


Good idea. Next time open the fridge and find a trio.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, they made Schoen-Berg-ers with all 12 toppings.


I heard the restaurant closed because the jingle they used to advertise on TV was 12 tonal and many of the pubic thought 1 1/2 minutes on the clock was a bit Munch for a twelve tone TV commercial.
Live and loin.


----------



## hpowders

I really have to confess. I don't eat a lot of beef Berg-ers these days. Just not my forte. Can clog up my arteries and cause a lot of treble; a lot of treble!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I heard the restaurant closed because the jingle they used to advertise on TV was 12 tonal and many of the pubic thought 1 1/2 minutes on the clock was a bit Munch for a twelve tone TV commercial.
> Live and loin.


I heard a rumour that it was because Schoenberg and Webern had an argument. Schoenberg thought that Webern wasn't being very nice, so he called him a big Boulez.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Did he work for anyone else?


Looks like he works best in a Cage situation


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I heard a rumour that it was because Schoenberg and Webern had an argument. Schoenberg thought that Webern wasn't being very nice, so he called him a big Boulez.


But then I heard they made up with a big French Kiss!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Looks like he works best in a Cage situation


Isn't that a bit extreme? I know they show it on Pain Per View.


----------



## hpowders

Sometimes these stupid thread ideas drive me completely Daphnis.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> But then I heard they made up with a big French Kiss!


Then, they had some French Toast.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement Section:

Post no. 1: Normally I would have posted more this afternoon, but I got very Bizet fixing my clock and its hands.


----------



## hpowders

And believe me. Fixing that clock wasn't easy. There were times this afternoon, when I was about to call the whole thing Orff and simply Carl up with a good book instead.


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!!

Post no. 1: I synchronized my clock with the Bernstein performance of the second movement of Haydn's Clock Symphony, but then there was a brownout and the power went out. What do I do now?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Isn't that a bit extreme? I know they show it on Pain Per View.


Ask Yoko Ono, she was into Cage and could not Pollock for happenings.................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ask Yoko Ono, she was into Cage and could not Pollock for happenings.................


She told me she was eating a slice of Lennon Meringue pie and couldn't come to the phone right now.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> She told me she was eating a slice of Lennon Meringue pie and couldn't come to the phone right now.


Zen she called "help!" Mendelson is in the way


----------



## Dim7

Friendlyneighbourhood said:


> Infractions where you're more embarrassed about ignorantly falling in love then the infraction itself


I misread this as:

Infractions where you're more embarrassed about ignorantly falling in love *with* the infraction itself

That's a "forbidden" form of love I guess...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> She told me she was eating a slice of Lennon Meringue pie and couldn't come to the phone right now.


You'll have to Ringo her again later.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> You'll have to Ringo her again later.


I did and she told me she had to go out and work for her John.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> I did and she told me she had to go out and work for her John.


By George!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> You'll have to Ringo her again later.


You know, I really can't find her. I'm going to call Inter-Paul and report her missing!!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> You know, I really can't find her. I'm going to call Inter-Paul and report her missing!!!


That's really caring of you, you're a Starr!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> That's really caring of you, you're a Starr!


Not a Starr. Just a harried son.


----------



## hpowders

Reminds me. I have 10 rocks that I have to mold into bowling stones.


----------



## hpowders

Oh crap! This will never do. One of them has a Jaggered edge. It could hurt someone!


----------



## hpowders

That's what I get for not using Wood!!!


----------



## Bettina

There's a thread on "favorite ear candy." I want to start a thread on "favorite ear vegetables." Name some pieces that are good for your health but not very enjoyable.


----------



## hpowders

Why were CD's invented when heavy, breakable, scratchy 78 RPM records were already available?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Why were CD's invented when heavy, breakable, scratchy 78 RPM records were already available?


Good question! And player pianos were already available too. I want one of those in my living room instead of a CD player.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Good question! And player pianos were already available too. I want one of those in my living room instead of a CD player.


Don't laugh. I have a friend who has one of those expensive player pianos that plays piano rolls by famous pianists of the past.
I came over and wasn't impressed. The money must have been burning a hole in his pocket.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Handel's Messiah could give an atheist second thoughts.


Is this called the "Fine tune" argument for the existence of God?


----------



## Dim7

*Proposal for the Classical music areas*

Why not have a requirement like a new poster can not post in the classical music forums before they have posted an X-amount of STIs or stupid threads and posts in the community forum or social groups. This might cut down on the classical garbage that gets posted here since these classical posters only come to talk about the very thing we are supposed to talk about here and not be a part of the STI / Talk Nonsense scene.

Food for thought. Thanks, Mods.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dim7 said:


> *Proposal for the Classical music areas*
> 
> Why not have a requirement like a new poster can not post in the classical music forums before they have posted an X-amount of STIs or stupid threads and posts in the community forum or social groups. This might cut down on the classical garbage that gets posted here since these classical posters only come to talk about the very thing we are supposed to talk about here and not be a part of the STI / *Talk Nonsense scene.*
> 
> Food for thought. Thanks, Mods.


Is this some subtle TN recruitment? ut:


----------



## ST4

Stupid Threading and Needling Ideas


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Bettina said:


> There's a thread on "favorite ear candy." I want to start a thread on "favorite ear vegetables." Name some pieces that are good for your health but not very enjoyable.


How about 'Least favourite ear-worms'?


----------



## Judith

Has any Composer committed a crime and landed in prison?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> There's a thread on "favorite ear candy." I want to start a thread on "favorite ear vegetables." Name some pieces that are good for your health but not very enjoyable.


This is a song about vegetables . . . they keep you regular; / they're real good for ya


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> There's a thread on "favorite ear candy." I want to start a thread on "favorite ear vegetables." Name some pieces that are good for your health but not very enjoyable.


From the Administration: The "favorite ear vegetables" idea boweled us over. HOWEVER, keeping to the ToS agreement, lettuce say that the thread must be heavily regulated. Nice to see your posts have movements in this direction, though. Keep pushing and you will succeed!!!

Your TC management team


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Judith said:


> Has any Composer committed a crime and landed in prison?


This thread should help answer that one

http://www.talkclassical.com/showthread.php?t=23312


----------



## Dim7

Is it justified to use terrorism as a way to advance the cause of classical music?


----------



## Dim7

TC members you murdered because of aesthetic disagreements


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> TC members you murdered because of aesthetic disagreements










 Harry Partch rules


----------



## Bettina

If you were a composer...

If you could compose like a famous composer, what would the other TC members think of your music? List all the TC members who would hate your music the most.


----------



## ST4

Bettina said:


> If you were a composer...
> 
> If you could compose like a famous composer, what would the other TC members think of your music? List all the TC members who would hate your music the most.


I almost posted something serious then, I see what you're trying to do


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> If you were a composer...
> 
> If you could compose like a famous composer, what would the other TC members think of your music? List all the TC members who would hate your music the most.


Zozart, Pozart, Sozart, Hozart, Pozart, Fozart, Eozart, Xozart, Yozart, Bozart, Cozart, Dozart, Gozart, Jozart, Kozart, Lozart, Nozart, Oozart, Qozart, Rozart, Tozart, Uozart, Vozart, Wozart......


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Zozart, Pozart, Sozart, Hozart, Pozart, Fozart, Eozart, Xozart, Yozart, Bozart, Cozart, Dozart, Gozart, Jozart, Kozart, Lozart, Nozart, Oozart, Qozart, Rozart, Tozart, Uozart, Vozart, Wozart......


You forgot Aozart! He's the greatest of them all--or at least the first in the alphabet.


----------



## Dim7

If all the top ranking NSDAP leaders were on TC, which of them would you have in your friend list?


----------



## Dim7

How is Classical music similar to itself?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> If all the top ranking NSDAP leaders were on TC, which of them would you have in your friend list?


I know nothing, I know nothing


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Zozart, Pozart, Sozart, Hozart, Pozart, Fozart, Eozart, Xozart, Yozart, Bozart, Cozart, Dozart, Gozart, Jozart, Kozart, Lozart, Nozart, Oozart, Qozart, Rozart, Tozart, Uozart, Vozart, Wozart......


Bozart was a clown wasn't he?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Bozart was a clown wasn't he?


Yeah, he was. Bo's art makes people laugh.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, he was. Bo's art makes people laugh.


Bozo the clown changed his name to Bozart to avoid having people laugh at him. Kind of self-de-feet-ing for a clown.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Judith said:


> Has any Composer committed a crime and landed in prison?


Serious answer: Michael Tippett was banged up for 3 months for refusing military service during WW2. For which, he only goes up in my estimation.


----------



## hpowders

Intellectual Corner

How do I extricate myself from Talk Classical?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, he was. Bo's art makes people laugh.


Bo's art trio made Haydn's witty music laugh.


----------



## hpowders

Why don't I like Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms, Mahler, Schumann and Copland?

Post no. 1: Newbie here looking to make friends with the classical music community. Please send your friend requests one at a time, otherwise I get nervous.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Intellectual Corner
> 
> How do I extricate myself from Talk Classical?


Just keep posting in Stupid Thread Ideas, usually works..............


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Intellectual Corner
> 
> How do I extricate myself from Talk Classical?


I have no idea! TC is addictive.

How do I feel when I'm binging on TC? Well, picture (so to speak) Mussorgsky sitting in a bar drinking vodka by the bottle. There's your answer.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I have no idea! TC is addictive.
> 
> How do I feel when I'm binging on TC? Well, picture (so to speak) Mussorgsky sitting in a bar drinking vodka by the bottle. There's your answer.


Yeah and right across from him Beethoven is drinking some Evian bottled water. He could well afford it, thanks to squeezing every blessed Florin out of his publishers.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yeah and right across from him Beethoven is drinking some Evian bottled water. He could well afford it, thanks to squeezing every blessed Florin out of his publishers.


Yeah, thanks to Wellington's Victory he could afford the finest spring water!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, thanks to Wellington's Victory he could afford the finest spring water!


Perhaps that was the real inspiration for his Spring Violin and Piano Sonata, as well as the second movement of the Pastoral Symphony. That spring in Vienna could have been the source of his bottled water.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Was Bach a space alien?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just keep posting in Stupid Thread Ideas, usually works..............


Good point! STI is our "sanctuary city".


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Was Bach a space alien?


Only his hairdresser knew for sure.


----------



## Bettina

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Was Bach a space alien?


Probably so. In fact, he called one of his pieces ET. ET Incarnatus Est, that is.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Probably so. In fact, he called one of his pieces ET. ET Incarnatus Est, that is.


If he doesn't get more votes in the Classical Music Discussion forum, he'll end up as one............


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> If he doesn't get more votes in the Classical Music Discussion forum, he'll end up as one............


Yeah, Mozart is winning that contest. (And Bozart, Cozart, Dozart, and all the rest of them...)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Yeah, Mozart is winning that contest. (And Bozart, Cozart, Dozart, and all the rest of them...)


Here is a contender. If Only Zozart had multitrack overdubbing available to him too........


----------



## Bettina

A la Carter composer poll #22: Which of these composers do you like? 
-Early Carter
-Middle Carter
-Late Carter
-Dead Carter


----------



## ST4

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Was Bach a space alien?


Well he didn't die, which I find most suspicious


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> Well he didn't die, which I find most suspicious


Yeah, he said he'll be Bach


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah, he said he'll be Bach


He left for area 51.....now wait a second......


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Genderless composers


----------



## ST4

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Genderless composers


Well, there is **** *******?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> Well, there is **** *******?


Or Amoebahoven .........................


----------



## hpowders

Hypnosis Thread

Two sessions 1. 9-11 AM 2. 3-5 PM

Okay kids. Follow the moving watch and slowly repeat for 2 hours.

When I say "Zozart", you will awaken as if nothing has happened.

Session 1: I can write whatever the **** I want on TC without censorship

Session 2: Elliot Carter's music is fun

Pay the pretty lady sitting at the door on your way out.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> A la Carter composer poll #22: Which of these composers do you like?
> -Early Carter
> -Middle Carter
> -Late Carter
> -Dead Carter


 "Other": President Carter.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> A la Carter composer poll #22: Which of these composers do you like?
> -Early Carter
> -Middle Carter
> -Late Carter
> -Dead Carter


He's been dead for 4'33" and he is already being ridiculed.


----------



## hpowders

Who said this? A game:

"I did not destroy any of my emails, and by the way, Elliott Carter's music is fun!"


----------



## ST4

_Your favorite pointless TC arguments - Post them here!! _


----------



## hpowders

What DID Mozart think of twentieth century composers?

Post no. 1: Can you refer me to books on the subject?


----------



## ST4

What is the best steaming service for classical music?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> What is the best steaming service for classical music?


Are you looking for permanent pressings?


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Are you looking for permanent pressings?


More like a steam room...........................


----------



## ST4

*Poll: How good are your tastes in classical music? *


----------



## Bettina

ST4 said:


> What is the best steaming service for classical music?


Wagnerian Radio. Tristan and Isolde is pretty steamy...


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> *Poll: How good are your tastes in classical music? *


I like the chocolate CDs. You play them once, then you eat them. I got one of Rubinstein playing Chopin. Meltingly beautiful.


----------



## ST4

*Poll: Do you like GOOD music?*

Facts and objective truths welcome


----------



## Bettina

ST4 said:


> *Poll: How good are your tastes in classical music? *


My tastes are horrible and shameful. Try as I might, I can't manage to have any fun while listening to Carter...


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> _Your favorite pointless TC arguments - Post them here!! _


Why can't we say ****, **** and *** on TC?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> *Poll: How good are your tastes in classical music? *


Very Spicy and hot............. Zindaloo


----------



## ST4

*Poll: Do you actually enjoy the music of your favorite composers? *


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> *Poll: Do you actually enjoy the music of your favorite composers? *


Enjoy? What are you talking about? This is Classical Music, not Sting!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Enjoy? What are you talking about? This is Classical Music, not Sting!


Oh tantric Music..................


----------



## Pugg

How many accounts can one have on this site?


----------



## Bettina

Pugg said:


> How many accounts can one have on this site?


Well, Mozart has one for each letter of the alphabet. Aozart, Bozart, Cozart...all the way on down to Zozart.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Well, Mozart has one for each letter of the alphabet. Aozart, Bozart, Cozart...all the way on down to Zozart.


Mozart definitely needs further investigation and for that matter Salleri as well.

Let initiate a formal investigation, we can call it Pugg-Gate


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Ballet and Sexual Orientation Survey for Men of TC

1. I do not like ballet and I am heterosexual
2. I do like ballet and I am homosexual


----------



## Judith

hpowders said:


> I like the chocolate CDs. You play them once, then you eat them. I got one of Rubinstein playing Chopin. Meltingly beautiful.


Like that idea. Who can resist chocolate??


----------



## Judith

Bettina said:


> A la Carter composer poll #22: Which of these composers do you like?
> -Early Carter
> -Middle Carter
> -Late Carter
> -Dead Carter


Someones watching Eastenders lol!!


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> Like that idea. Who can resist chocolate??


I'll send you the wrappers.


----------



## hpowders

Looking for a definitive performance of J.S. Bach's Concerto for Cello and Harp in F.

Post no. 1: If you can't find that, I would settle for where I could get those chocolate CDs, hpowders was raving about, before Judith buys them all.


----------



## Judith

hpowders said:


> I'll send you the wrappers.


I am a chocoholic!!!


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> I am a chocoholic!!!


Me too! I like dark, the opposite of my posting demeanor!!


----------



## Judith

hpowders said:


> Me too! I like dark, the opposite of my posting demeanor!!


I like white chocolate such as milky-bar


----------



## Dim7

Stupid Thread Ideas that moved you to tears


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> I like white chocolate such as milky-bar


I grew up on Milky-Way, Snickers, Three Musketeers, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Clark Bars. Being a kid was so great!

I went from nirvana and splendor in the grass to Poster Emeritus on Stupid Thread Ideas.


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> Like that idea. Who can resist chocolate??


I've met some poor folks who are allergic to chocolate. Does a worse form of hell on earth actually exist?

But I've never met anyone whom when you say "chocolate", makes the kind of face one gets when you say "spinach" or broccoli".


----------



## Judith

hpowders said:


> I've met some poor folks who are allergic to chocolate. Does a worse form of hell on earth actually exist?
> 
> But I've never met anyone whom when you say "chocolate", makes the kind of face one gets when you say "spinach" or broccoli".


There is an artificial chocolate available at a health shop. I think it is called Carob but not sure. Doesn't taste the same though.

Being a migraine sufferer I'm supposed to cut down but can't. Love it too much!!


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> There is an artificial chocolate available at a health shop. I think it is called Carob but not sure. Doesn't taste the same though.
> 
> Being a migraine sufferer I'm supposed to cut down but can't. Love it too much!!


That's like plant-based hamburgers. I could never be a vegan. I don't eat meat very often, but when I do, it's got to be the real thing! Same with chocolate.

We deserve to experience some pleasure in this world!!


----------



## hpowders

How many posting styles are exactly the same by "different" posters on TC?

Post no. 1: Pick your favorite harmonic pairs, thirds, fourths and more!!! Purely confidential, of course. The purpose is not to diminish, but to identify!


----------



## millionrainbows

Judith said:


> I am a chocoholic!!!


You need to get some Kahlua.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> How many posting styles are exactly the same by "different" posters on TC?
> 
> Post no. 1: Pick your favorite harmonic pairs, thirds, fourths and more!!! Purely confidential, of course. The purpose is not to diminish, but to identify!


I think we have a few enharmonic posters on TC...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I think we have a few enharmonic posters on TC...


Yes, at certain intervals they make appearances here on TC, but even though their visits may be occasional, that in no way diminishes their major contributions on TC. And any diminished contribution, no matter how minor, is always welcome.
Why make this issue a tempo in a teapot?


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> You need to get some Kahlua.


Mix with diet Coke. Then you have a nice Koka Kahlua.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yes, at certain intervals they make appearances here on TC, but even though their visits may be occasional, that in no way diminishes their major contributions on TC. And any diminished contribution, no matter how minor, is always welcome.
> Why make this issue a tempo in a teapot?


I just wish that my STI posts could count toward my major contributions. I want to augment my post count.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Mix with diet Coke. Then you have a nice Koka Kahlua.


I'd rather have a gin and supertonic.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> How many posting styles are exactly the same by "different" posters on TC?
> 
> Post no. 1: Pick your favorite harmonic pairs, thirds, fourths and more!!! Purely confidential, of course. The purpose is not to diminish, but to identify!


Hmm? Are you hinting that I have a sock puppet account?


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Hmm? Are you hinting that I have a sock puppet account?


Well, if a Maj6 pops up on this site, we'll know who it is...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I just wish that my STI posts could count toward my major contributions. I want to augment my post count.


Yes. I agree. At this stage of the game I could be a posting billionaire! As Humperdinck used to say, "That would be Great-el!


----------



## ST4

Well we need to start a pension for this STI post count then!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'd rather have a gin and supertonic.


My favorite mixed drink is a gin and tonic, light on the tonic. We must co-imbibe someday.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Well, if a Maj6 pops up on this site, we'll know who it is...


:lol::lol::lol: Only music majors would know!


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Hmm? Are you hinting that I have a sock puppet account?


No. But I have my I on U.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> My favorite mixed drink is a gin and tonic, light on the tonic.


Me too. I like the gin to be dominant.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Single Malt for me, straight and no blended stuff either


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers that you hate for petty reasons.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pettyozart............................


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TC Top 100 Recommended Things Completely Unrelated to Classical Music


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Me too. I like the gin to be dominant.


Yes. If the gene is recessive, it spoils the fun.

I could cook a side of beef, you can come over and we could call it the Beefeater's Club.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yes. If the gene is recessive, it spoils the fun.
> 
> I could cook a side of beef, you can come over and we could call it the Beefeater's Club.


Let's have Beef Wellington. If it turns out "well," we can call it Wellington's Victory!:lol:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

TC Top 10 Recommended Works:
1. dadadaDAAAA
2. dadada, dadada, dadada da
3. da-da daaaa DAAAAAA dadadadaaaaa daaa
4. dadadadadadada, dadadadadadadada da, da, da, da, dadada, da
5. DA DA DA DA DA DA DA dadada
6. da da da da da, DA!
7. da, dadadadada, dadadadada da da da dadadadada
8. daaaaa da da daaaaa
9. daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa da da dada da da daaaaaa
10. da da da daaaaaa da da da, daaaaaa da da da


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Let's have Beef Wellington. If it turns out "well," we can call it Wellington's Victory!:lol:


I'm a little superstitious starting out the evening with failure.

I just checked the circular. I could get a 6 lb. Beef Wellington served in house by some beef jerky for 16 Florins. Sounds like a good buy. Well Done, Costco!!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'm a little superstitious starting out the evening with failure.
> 
> I just checked the circular. I could get a 6 lb. Beef Wellington served in house by some beef jerky for 16 Florins. Sounds like a good buy. Well Done, Costco!!


Sounds good. And we can have Napoleon ice cream for dessert. After all, Wellington creamed Napoleon!


----------



## ST4

Guess what piece of music I'm thinking of?




(no clues)


----------



## Bettina

ST4 said:


> Guess what piece of music I'm thinking of?
> 
> (no clues)


4'33''...the lack of clues was a dead giveaway!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Sounds good. And we can have Napoleon ice cream for dessert. After all, Wellington creamed Napoleon!


Yes and Julia Robert's sister, Eroica Roberts can serve it to us. She is in the catering business, I hear. Catering to Julia's every bitchy whim.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Guess what piece of music I'm thinking of?
> 
> (no clues)


I've got it. The Sound of Silence, Simon and Garfunkel!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> Guess what piece of music I'm thinking of?
> 
> (no clues)


1812 Overture .............................


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 1812 Overture .............................


You spelled it wrong. It's 1812 overtune.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 1812 Overture .............................


Yeah. I've heard rumors this will be Trump's theme song taking the place of "Hail to the Chief".

Cannons definitely NOT optional.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Yeah. I've heard rumors this will be Trump's theme song taking the place of "Hail to the Chief".
> 
> Cannons definitely NOT optional.


Let's hope he doesn't get to choose where they're pointed


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> You spelled it wrong. It's 1812 overtune.


Didn't Tchaikovsky have an overbite? His music occasionally sounded a bit forward to me.

He complained to his dentist about it and asked how much it would cost to straighten and the dentist replied

"Meck me an offer".


----------



## ST4

Bettina said:


> 4'33''...the lack of clues was a dead giveaway!


You're a little off but props for trying :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Let's hope he doesn't get to choose where they're pointed


I have a lot of material here, but alas....cannons and all, would result in phall-ure.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> You spelled it wrong. It's 1812 overtune.


damn spell checker, I thought it was Ovaltine


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Didn't Tchaikovsky have an overbite? His music occasionally sounded a bit forward to me.
> 
> He complained to his dentist about it and asked how much it would cost to straighten and the dentist replied
> 
> "Meck me an offer".


Yeah, Tchaikovsky had trouble chewing because of his bad teeth. When he ate nuts, he had to chop them up beforehand with a nutcracker.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, Tchaikovsky had trouble chewing because of his bad teeth. When he ate nuts, he had to chop them up beforehand with a nutcracker.


He ate his nuts, because otherwise, he had very little use for them.


----------



## hpowders

TC Nightmare Department

Post no. 1: Now they've got me dreaming of underwhelming overtunes!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC Nightmare Department
> 
> Post no. 1: Now they've got me dreaming of underwhelming overtunes!!


Don't worry have some Ovaltine


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Don't worry have some Ovaltine


----------



## hpowders

Choose up to three: Which is your favorite(s): Rap-Pun-Szell?
Public poll.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Choose up to three: Which is your favorite(s): Rap-Pun-Szell?
> Public poll.


Please lettuce choose more than three!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Please lettuce choose more than three!


It's a holiday. Choices restricted.


----------



## hpowders

Inquiry Section:

Is there a maximum post count number beyond which the post count resets back to one?

Post no. 1: After all these years on TC, I would hate to be treated once more as a junior poster and have things thrown at me again.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Please lettuce choose more than three!


Don't be Russian. Tomorrow's another day. Putin your request in the suggestion Bachs.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Inquiry Section:
> 
> Is there a maximum post count number beyond which the post count resets back to one?
> 
> Post no. 1: After all these years on TC, I would hate to be treated once more as a junior poster and have things thrown at me again.


What would happen if Benjamin Button joined TC? Every time he posted something, his post count would go down.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> What would happen if Benjamin Button joined TC? Every time he posted something, his post count would go down.


So jealous of a guy who keeps getting younger as time goes by.

As for me, don't push it, Button!!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*10 Biggest Classical Music Celebrities of the Last 50 Years*
All the composers these days seem to be so thin. Where can we find a composer with meat on their bones; someone like Handel?


----------



## Bettina

MoonlightSonata said:


> *10 Biggest Classical Music Celebrities of the Last 50 Years*
> All the composers these days seem to be so thin. Where can we find a composer with meat on their bones; someone like Handel?


I don't know, but you should be able to find plenty of opera singers...


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Songs about Texting


----------



## Dim7

Morimur said:


> What's with the avatar-less people-do they think they're better than everyone else or something? Get a damn avatar!!


They might be banned, for instance.


----------



## hpowders

How many cheddar cheeses do you c, # cheeses especially desirable, picnicking under the elms.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How many ways can you mention the "Other" music forum within the TOS ??


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How many ways can you mention the "Other" music forum within the TOS ??


Simply TOS it around a lot on TC and see if they extricate U from this excruciating state of affairs.


----------



## ST4

Dim7 said:


> They might be banned, for instance.


Oh the irony, the irony!!!!!!! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Oh the irony, the irony!!!!!!! :lol:


You should back off a bit and not permanently press this issue. He's already feelin' the heat!


----------



## ST4

Stupid Thread Ideas that aren't really that stupid when actually created


----------



## hpowders

Financial Help Section:

Post no. 1: I want to buy the complete Haydn Symphonies, a 65 CD set but I'm living on government assistance at least until January 21st when Trump will throw me off. My question is could y'all consider Poule-ing your resources to help out a fellow music lover?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Financial Help Section:
> 
> Post no. 1: I want to buy the complete Haydn Symphonies, a 65 CD set but I'm living on government assistance at least until January 21st when Trump will throw me off. My question is could y'all consider Poule-ing your resources to help out a fellow music lover?


Good news...the government gives social security assistance for CD sets over 65. All you need to do is find a 66-CD set and you're...all set!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Good news...the government gives social security assistance for CD sets over 65. All you need to do is find a 66-CD set and you're...all set!


Ahh!! The complete Charles Munch set then!! I will set a week aside to check for any defects. Let's see....why I seem to be free over the next 40 weeks, so that won't be a problem. I'm glad I Munch-ened it here and got such a helpful response!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Ahh!! The complete Charles Munch set then!! I will set a week aside to check for any defects. Let's see....why I seem to be free over the next 40 weeks, so that won't be a problem. I'm glad I Munch-ened it here and got such a helpful response!


That's a huge set. Lots of great music to Munch on!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That's a huge set. Lots of great music to Munch on!


Yes and I learned a lot about the social security CD laws too. Hope the new president doesn't Trumple on the 66 CD rule so I can milk...errr...be a good citizen and follow the rules. I also heard anyone with too many multiple CD sets will get deported. Did he really Sprake that?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yes and I learned a lot about the social security CD laws too. Hope the new president doesn't Trumple on the 66 CD rule so I can milk...errr...be a good citizen and follow the rules. I also heard anyone with too many multiple CD sets will get deported. Did he really Sprake that?


I heard that he's building a wall to keep foreign CD imports out of the US. Hurry up and get your European recordings before the inauguration!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I heard that he's building a wall to keep foreign CD imports out of the US. Hurry up and get your European recordings before the inauguration!


I hear Trump went to Curtis where he specialized in producing canons until he got all war-n out. Of course this may have only been a Towering Trump room-er.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> Stupid Thread Ideas that aren't really that stupid when actually created


I exist, therefore I am stupid QED...........

"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." Zappa


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How many ways can you mention the "Other" music forum within the TOS ??


Meanwhile, TC is "better". Much more user-friendly.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Meanwhile, TC is "better". Much more user-friendly.


So that is one....................


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I exist, therefore I am stupid QED...........
> 
> "Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." Zappa


If I made a list of all the stupid things I've done...let's just say it would be the biggest box set in history. Zozart's 200 CD set is nothing compared to mine!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> If I made a list of all the stupid things I've done...let's just say it would be the biggest box set in history. Zozart's 200 CD set is nothing compared to mine!


Is it available via mail order........................


----------



## hpowders

Disappointment Section

Post No 1: How about this news! Donald Trump promised me the cabinet position of Secretary of Music, but now he is reneging because his background checkers found that I have too many atonal entanglements!


----------



## Dim7

Your favorite time zone


----------



## Scopitone

Florestan said:


> Now that is very nice of you to let us choose if we want you to block us. :lol:


I do my best.


----------



## Scopitone

Your Favorite Thread Title's Containing Incorrect Use of Apostrophe's


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If I made a list of all the stupid things I've done...let's just say it would be the biggest box set in history. Zozart's 200 CD set is nothing compared to mine!


Mine would still be ONE more than yours, unfortunately.


----------



## hpowders

Disappointment Section

Post 2: In not being selected as Secretary of Music, I now have to deal with a lot of dissonance and disappointment at my house as my status has been greatly diminished. Instead of eating normal lunches, I've been resorting to a fifth of bourbon instead. The whole incident has struck a nasty chord with me and I am so embarrassed at not being selected, I have actually gone into Haydn. I can only hope that Trump's Reine is very short and that someday I can make a come-Bach.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Your favorite time zone


Moon Time.......................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Moon Time.......................


Some of my favorite dates have had moon time encounters.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Some of my favorite dates have had moon time encounters.


Some of my favorite dates have involved mooning.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Some of my favorite dates have involved mooning.


So who needs caffeine for mind stimulation when I can get it right here!


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is It Constructive For Composers To Criticize Your Mother?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Is It Constructive For Composers To Criticize Your Mother?


If a composer expects me to buy his CDs, he better not criticize my mother. If He does criticize my mother, I would just listen for free to his music on YouTube, depriving him of any royalties.

As Handel said to the baritone, tied down helplessly on the operating table, who needed to be transformed into a countertenor:

I'll fix him!! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Your own personal S list of composers

Post no. 1: From day one when I was working, my boss had it in for me. I knew he had me on his S list.

Which composers do you currently carry on your own S lists?
Do they ever get off the list, or do you carry a life-time grudge?

Here, finally is a place for you to post!!!


----------



## hpowders

TC General Health Insurance Questions Department: Unbanned members only. Strictly enforced!

Will TrumpCare cover castrato surgery? 

Post no.1: My priest says it won't and I need it to blend in properly with the choir I sing in.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Your own personal S list of composers
> 
> Post no. 1: From day one when I was working, my boss had it in for me. I knew he had me on his S list.
> 
> Which composers do you currently carry on your own S lists?
> Do they ever get off the list, or do you carry a life-time grudge?
> 
> Here, finally is a place for you to post!!!


Louis Spohr is permanently on my S list. I'm furious at him for criticizing my beloved Beethoven!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Louis Spohr is permanently on my S list. I'm furious at him for criticizing my beloved Beethoven!


Yes. He is indeed S list worthy!

There's a rumor going around that his wife moved out because of all the mold Spohrs floating around making it hard to breed....er.....breath.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> TC General Health Insurance Questions Department: Unbanned members only. Strictly enforced!
> 
> Will TrumpCare cover castrato surgery?
> 
> Post no.1: My priest says it won't and I need it to blend in properly with the choir I sing in.


Too bad Hillary wasn't elected. ClintonCare would definitely have covered castrato surgery. Hillary would be very happy to do the job herself!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Too bad Hillary wasn't elected. ClintonCare would definitely have covered castrato surgery. Hillary would be very happy to do the job herself!


Well played. But Bill already sounds like he was castrato-ized. I close my eyes and he sounds a little high pitched and wishy washy. I believe the damage already has been done.

I think Bill didn't vote for either Hillary or Donald.

I believe he remained neuter-al.


----------



## hpowders

Your 5 favorite sacred pieces for alto bagpipe.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie Needs help!!

Post no. 1: Hey! I tried joining TC two weeks ago and I never received the paper work. By the way who the heck is TOS?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Your 5 favorite sacred pieces for alto bagpipe.


Jack the Bruce's Sunshine of my life, Oh that would need to be contrabass bagpipe...........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Jack the Bruce's Sunshine of my life, Oh that would need to be contrabass bagpipe...........


Didn't you take "transposing for posters" at your junior college?


----------



## hpowders

TC Psychology department: Where we treat wounded souls with pseudo-dignity

Post no. 1: How did I wind up on STI? My school councilor said I have so much potential; that I coulda been a contenda!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Your 5 favorite sacred pieces for alto bagpipe.


"A Scottish Requiem" by Loch Ness Brahms


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> "A Scottish Requiem" by Loch Ness Brahms


Yes. I have the Scottish Tape of that one.


----------



## hpowders

TC Lost and Found Department

Post no. 1: I was walking down the street and I heard a thud. When I got home, went in the shower and I seemed to be singing everything flat. I must have lost my perfect pitch! What should I do?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> "A Scottish Requiem" by Loch Ness Brahms


A monstrously difficult work to perform.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> "A Scottish Requiem" by Loch Ness Brahms


Drenched in streams of counterpoint. Too Reger-ous for the likes of me!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> "A Scottish Requiem" by Loch Ness Brahms


I feel the salmon Brahms' Double Concerto. Neither piece is a fave.


----------



## ST4

Is it constructive for composers to bash eachother?


----------



## Bettina

Opus ½--what half-composition comes to your mind first?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Opus ½--what half-composition comes to your mind first?


Thirty Second Waltz by Chopin. First draft of...you know...


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Stupid Thread Ideas that aren't really that stupid when actually created


Story of my life.


----------



## ST4

Is it constructive for TC users to use the site all day?


----------



## Pugg

How often do yo look in the mirror?


----------



## Bettina

Pugg said:


> How often do yo look in the mirror?


I often look into a special mirror called Spiegel im Spiegel. I can only see Pärt of myself in this mirror.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Didn't you take "transposing for posters" at your junior college?


I got confused and took trainspotting for posters................


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Story of my life.


Oh, do tell more?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Is it constructive for TC users to use the site all day?


Story of my life.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I got confused and took trainspotting for posters................


I used to do that as a kid. I used to be on an overpass bridge watching the trains below.

An aimless youth. The modulation to STI was as natural as breathing.


----------



## ST4

Is it constructive to construct a constrictable construct?


----------



## ST4

How many years does it take to be offended?


----------



## ST4

How many constricts does it take to be a constructive poster?


----------



## ST4

How many offensive posters does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many offended posters does it take to rewire a plutonium dialectic phantasmatic belief system?


----------



## ST4

How many fallacies does it take to make a good person?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> How many offensive posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
> 
> How many offended posters does it take to rewire a plutonium dialectic phantasmatic belief system?


Watt's the difference?


----------



## ST4

How many atonal opinions does it take to create a revolution? 

How many romantics does it take to make a Holden advertisement? 

How many bars of soap does it take to change the world?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> How many offensive posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
> 
> How many offended posters does it take to rewire a plutonium dialectic phantasmatic belief system?


goodness gracious unbelievable Pluralisms


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> goodness gracious unbelievable Pluralisms


I can't even read it........


----------



## Bettina

ST4 said:


> How many offensive posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
> 
> How many offended posters does it take to rewire a plutonium dialectic phantasmatic belief system?


How many composers does it take to write an opera called "Plutonium Dialectic Phantasmatic Belief System?"


----------



## ST4

How many chromatic notes does it take to cause a riot? 

How many chromatic notes does it take to start a war? 

How many times rejecting or expanding common practice period harmony functions does it take to convince Korea to nuke planet earth?


----------



## ST4

How much dark humor does it take to save the world?


----------



## ST4

How much fallacious reasoning does it take to make a piece of music "great"?


----------



## ST4

How many people will take this comment seriously without an emoticon? :wave:


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Everyone raves about how great the Gross Fugue is but I'm scared to listen to it as I have a weak stomach  Is it really that disgusting or is this just exaggeration?


----------



## ST4

MoonlightSonata said:


> Everyone raves about how great the Gross Fugue is but I'm scared to listen to it as I have a weak stomach  Is it really that disgusting or is this just exaggeration?


Actually it's been understated, apparently it causes kinds of abdominal pain that doesn't even have a description in the English dictionary!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

ST4 said:


> Actually it's been understated, apparently it causes kinds of abdominal pain that doesn't even have a description in the English dictionary!


I always did find it hard to digest countersubjects


----------



## ST4

MoonlightSonata said:


> I always did find it hard to digest countersubjects


Anything that uses notes outside of B♭ major is doomed to fail :devil:


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> How many people will take this comment seriously without an emoticon? :wave:


I agree, but would Mozart really have been Mozart if he wasn't genuinely Mozart?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Everyone raves about how great the Gross Fugue is but I'm scared to listen to it as I have a weak stomach  Is it really that disgusting or is this just exaggeration?


If that's the way you feel, simply Fugue-et about it! If you can't simply Grosse out like the rest of us, perhaps you should find another 4-um.
Just some friendly advice.

Dunne Kam Bach
Chairman, TC Welcoming Committee


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> How many composers does it take to write an opera called "Plutonium Dialectic Phantasmatic Belief System?"


I think I heard it last Saturday afternoon. It was National Public Radio Active from 2PM to 5 PM.


----------



## hpowders

Dispassionate Symphonies Section:

Brahms symphonies don't move me at all, like a 12 volt cattle prod does, for example.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I always did find it hard to digest countersubjects


Try 2 tablespoons of Pepto Bismol an hour before.

Should help gall the blather.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> If that's the way you feel, simply Fugue-et about it! If you can't simply Grosse out like the rest of us, perhaps you should find another 4-um.
> Just some friendly advice.
> 
> Dunne Kam Bach
> Chairman, TC Welcoming Committee


I think 4-um quality is rather subject-ive, don't you?


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I think 4-um quality is rather subject-ive, don't you?


 We will take up your querie at the next meeting of the Welcoming Committee Bored. We'll simply _mush_ some other stuff to make some _room._

Sincerely,

Dunne Kam Bach
Welcoming Committee


----------



## hpowders

So tired of pop music!

Post no. 1: Whenever there's a Coke or Pepsi commercial, I mute the background music. _Up_ to _7 _such commercials an hour! Otherwise there could be fizzz-ticuffs.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Anything that uses notes outside of B♭ major is doomed to fail :devil:


B Flat Major is my favorite key, by the way.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Examples of wow-listening. Choose up to six:

1. You hear you won Power-Ball

2. A mod calls you personally that you are the new proud owner of TC

3. You hear that Donald Trump is making Rudolf Giuliani the head mod of TC

4. The opening of Brahms Symphony No. 1 knocks you to the floor.

5. What a stupid thread idea!

6. I don't believe in wow-listening or Santa Claus. (Right? )


----------



## hpowders

My frat buddies at Pee-body asked me to ask you "The Haydn "Miracle" Symphony got its name because some listeners at its premiere were actually still awake after the final coda?"


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Poll: Examples of wow-listening. Choose up to six:
> 
> 1. You hear you won Power-Ball
> 
> 2. A mod calls you personally that you are the new proud owner of TC
> 
> 3. You hear that Donald Trump is making Rudolf Giuliani the head mod of TC
> 
> 4. The opening of Brahms Symphony No. 1 knocks you to the floor.
> 
> 5. What a stupid thread idea!
> 
> 6. I don't believe in wow-listening or Santa Claus. (Right? )


Listening to music while playing World of Warcraft.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> So tired of pop music!
> 
> Post no. 1: Whenever there's a Coke or Pepsi commercial, I mute the background music. _Up_ to _7 _such commercials an hour! Otherwise there could be fizzz-ticuffs.


I quite agree! I'm *so da*mn tired of it!


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I quite agree! I'm *so da*mn tired of it!


Well-played!! I'd like to see more gin & tonic commercials. My cable company charges adult prices.


----------



## Rach Man

Do you think that Holst did not write a piece about Pluto because he knew that it would lose its status as a planet?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Posting Zappa comments on a Yes forum site


----------



## Bettina

We have lots of current listening threads. Now it's time for something new, a past listening thread. What did you listen to on November 26, _2015_?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*TC's Favourite Christmas Music:*








(unedited screenshot)


----------



## Dim7

Avant-garde porn artists?


----------



## Dim7

This Afternoon's Composers (new subforum)


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> We have lots of current listening threads. Now it's time for something new, a past listening thread. What did you listen to on November 26, _2015_?


Liszt Transcendental Etudes. Claudio Arrau.....while I was alone. It was a Sunday afternoon and while I was listening I was also setting my clock 'cause of going back to standard time.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I often look into a special mirror called Spiegel im Spiegel. I can only see Pärt of myself in this mirror.


Which Pärt is that?


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Avant-garde porn artists?


I like the avant-garde porn flick "Two Girls, One Prepared Piano."


----------



## Dim7

Bettina said:


> I like the avant-garde porn flick "Two Girls, One Prepared Piano."


I prefer the one with the flying piano.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your favourite Starfish, as a classical composer of course.............


----------



## MoonlightSonata

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favourite Starfish, as a classical composer of course.............


what a queer stupid thread idea


----------



## hpowders

Has any poster that you know of have any of his/her/its posts labeled "The Great"?

I find the whole thing really Grosse.


----------



## hpowders

Any pretty clarinet players wanna come over and compare embouchures?

Only if you're chure, please!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Has any poster that you know of have any of his/her/its posts labeled "The Great"?
> 
> I find the whole thing really Grosse.


Oh, I don't know. I think it's Grand, really.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Oh, I don't know. I think it's Grand, really.


Thanks for taking a firm stand, Grand!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> Any pretty clarinet players wanna come over and compare embouchures?
> 
> Only if you're chure, please!


I'm afraid my embouchure isn't very good, but I'm working on it - I'm reeding some helpful books.


----------



## Dim7

Can we report offensive poll results?


----------



## hpowders

Is the Rimsky-Korsakov revision of Mussorgsky's operatic masterpiece Godunov, or should the original simply be allowed to stand on its own? Take your time. I'm not Russian for an answer.

Signed,

The Simpleton


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I'm afraid my embouchure isn't very good, but I'm working on it - I'm reeding some helpful books.


You always did have an excellent posting mouthpiece!


----------



## hpowders

TC sports fanatics Section

Post no. 1: Anybody catch the final score of the Pachelbel-Buxtehude Champions League football match?


----------



## hpowders

I am a knowledgeable but rather meek poster on TC.

Post no. 1: Can I be issued a legal "Order of Protection" to keep certain posters away from me?


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Dear Members:
In order to recognise the contribution of Stupid Thread Ideas to this forum, we are making a few changes.
First, some members will receive the honour of the member title "Stupid Thread Artist", like so:







Second, the names of the subforums will be changed to "Not As Good As Stupid Thread Ideas", like so:







And finally, instead of the useless "last 28 days" category of Top Posters, a Stupid Thread Ideas category will be added, like so:
View attachment 90438

We hope that these changes will improve the experience of this forum.
Lots of love,
The Mods xxxxx


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Dear Members:
> In order to recognise the contribution of Stupid Thread Ideas to this forum, we are making a few changes.
> First, some members will receive the honour of the member title "Stupid Thread Artist", like so:
> View attachment 90436
> 
> Second, the names of the subforums will be changed to "Not As Good As Stupid Thread Ideas", like so:
> View attachment 90437
> 
> And finally, instead of the useless "last 28 days" category of Top Posters, a Stupid Thread Ideas category will be added, like so:
> View attachment 90438
> 
> We hope that these changes will improve the experience of this forum.
> Lots of love,
> The Mods xxxxx


No fair! I've earned it. This thing should have been handled with diss-cretion by sending me a PM at the exclusion of all others.


----------



## hpowders

TC Metronome Department

Post no. 1: I know a lot of you have some pull. Where can I get an accurate metronome clock?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC Metronome Department
> 
> Post no. 1: I know a lot of you have some pull. Where can I get an accurate metronome clock?


TC Metronome Department- I'm sure some of our prolific posters can help you, they are like clockwork....


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> TC Metronome Department- I'm sure some of our prolific posters can help you, they are like clockwork....


Yeah, but do you think any of them have the necessary pull to get this job done?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Most Exciting Boring Slow Movement?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Most Exciting Boring Slow Movement?


Easy. Mahler 12. He wrote this after he was cremated, which explains the uncharacteristic lack of human feeling. The score appears to be a bit dusty.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*"Like" Support Group*
Do you or someone you love suffer from a "like" addiction? You're not alone! Come to the Queer Bird Building at 8pm today to talk about it with fellow sufferers!


----------



## ST4

MoonlightSonata said:


> *"Like" Support Group*
> Do you or someone you love suffer from a "like" addiction? You're not alone! Come to the Queer Bird Building at 8pm today to talk about it with fellow sufferers!


I'll simply not like this post. Easy enough.................


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> *"Like" Support Group*
> Do you or someone you love suffer from a "like" addiction? You're not alone! Come to the Queer Bird Building at 8pm today to talk about it with fellow sufferers!


Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> *"Like" Support Group*
> Do you or someone you love suffer from a "like" addiction? You're not alone! Come to the Queer Bird Building at 8pm today to talk about it with fellow sufferers!


Will you be handing out free starfish


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb?
1, no! 2!, no! 4!, no! 8!, no! 16!......


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb?
> 1, no! 2!, no! 4!, no! 8!, no! 16!......


OW! That's my-toe-Sis!!! Watch it!!!


----------



## Bettina

Who are your favorite page-turners?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Who are your favorite page-turners?


Always some stunning Asian gals. I would learn piano just to get my....errr....page....uhhh....turned.


----------



## Bettina

Renaissance music ensembles are nasty and dishonest. So many viol lyres!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How many ways can you mention the "Otter" music forum within the TOS?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

TC Recommendelssohns Thread


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How many ways can you mention the "Otter" music forum within the TOS?


That two, slowly getting there........


----------



## MoonlightSonata

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Will you be handing out free starfish


Starfish or amœbæ, whichever you prefer!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

MoonlightSonata said:


> Starfish or amœbæ, whichever you prefer!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 90453


Any Mendelssohns?


----------



## Pugg

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Any Mendelssohns?


Any Fanny's ?..........................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> Starfish or amœbæ, whichever you prefer!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 90453


Now what a tough decision, your making me decide.......







Amœbæ multiple quicker easy!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Any Mendelssohns?


If you put in a special request beforehand, yes! :trp:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Any Fanny's ?..........................


No sorry just _Amœbæ apparently _




























_

_


----------



## MoonlightSonata

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Now what a tough decision, your making me decide.......
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Amœbæ multiple quicker easy!


And they can even look like smiley faces!







Such talent


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ra Ra-chmaninoff, Russia's biggest hand machine


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Ra Ra-chmaninoff, Russia's biggest hand machine


I think I know what a hand machine is. See if we're on the same page.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Pugg said:


> Any Fanny's ?..........................


Any of what belonging to Fanny?*

*apologies , but Fanny's = of Fanny. Fann_ies_ = plural of Fanny.


----------



## Bettina

Dr Johnson said:


> Any of what belonging to Fanny?*
> 
> *apologies , but Fanny's = of Fanny. Fann_ies_ = plural of Fanny.


Question: The most ironic post on TC?

Answer: Grammar lessons in the Stupid Thread Ideas section.  :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Why are there so many people throwing their cases around in frustration?


----------



## hpowders

Thinking of taking champagne flute lessons. Any recommendations for a good teacher?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Thinking of taking champagne flute lessons. Any recommendations for a good teacher?


Mozart (AKA Zozart). He wrote a Champagne aria in Don Giovanni.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Thinking of taking champagne flute lessons. Any recommendations for a good teacher?


Working with the master:


----------



## hpowders

Preservation of instruments thread

Post no. 1: My great grandfather, Isaac Stern left me his Stradivarius violin.
To preserve it so it will last a few months, I was thinking of pickling it in brine and vinegar or even smokng it in my father's factory where he makes smoked salmon.

Any experts here have other _varius_ techniques I could use?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Who is the composer?

Beethoven
Mozart
Bach
Brahms
Bruckner
Mahler
Wagner
Schubert
Chopin
Tchaikovsky
Sibelius
Dvorak
Rachmaninoff
Schumann
Other (specify in comment)


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Who is the composer?
> 
> Beethoven
> Mozart
> Bach
> Brahms
> Bruckner
> Mahler
> Wagner
> Schubert
> Chopin
> Tchaikovsky
> Sibelius
> Dvorak
> Rachmaninoff
> Schumann
> Other (specify in comment)


Zozart! Zolfgang Zamadeus Zozart, that is.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Zozart! Zolfgang Zamadeus Zozart, that is.


Yea Zozart finally gets official recognition.............. All hail the triple Z!

Now he just needs to get a Noble prize in something....


----------



## ST4

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Who is the composer?
> 
> Beethoven
> Mozart
> Bach
> Brahms
> Bruckner
> Mahler
> Wagner
> Schubert
> Chopin
> Tchaikovsky
> Sibelius
> Dvorak
> Rachmaninoff
> Schumann
> Other (specify in comment)


I agree about those kind of polls, if there is going to be an "other" option then don't make it a poll at all :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Who is the composer?
> 
> Beethoven
> Mozart
> Bach
> Brahms
> Bruckner
> Mahler
> Wagner
> Schubert
> Chopin
> Tchaikovsky
> Sibelius
> Dvorak
> Rachmaninoff
> Schumann
> Other (specify in comment)


Obviously Mendelssohn. That was easy, Elijah!


----------



## ST4

*Poll: Beethoven vs Mozart*

Beethoven 
Mozart 
I like them about the same
I haven't heard both 
Other (please Specify)


----------



## hpowders

Karl Beethoven vs. Leopold Mozart: Which was the bigger pain in the a$$?


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite zither concertos (Alphabetically by composer for legibility, please!)


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Jews Harp virtuosos


----------



## hpowders

How many cello players are in a typical marching band?

Post no 1: I didn't see any in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. Too cold?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Choose the best Opus Number (Public Poll. Everyone can see this crap!)

1. 17

2. 61

3. 106

4. 131

5. You mean like magic? Opus Pocus?

6. Whatever opuses for you!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite posters you look way, way down on.

Post no 1: Name them here and explain why they are inferior. Complete amnesty! I talked to the owner.


----------



## hpowders

Did Haydn murder Mozart because the latter expected more than 6 quartets dedicated to him and Mozart over-dissed him and really Pi$$ed him off?


----------



## hpowders

TC Music Teacher Department

Post no. 1: I am studying the cymbal. I would like to meet a good teacher to pursue a cymb-iotic relationship that would eventually lead to an orchestral position.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite String Quartets with snare drum obbligato.

Post no. 1: Only if you're interested. Absolutely no obbligat-ion.


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven's 30 worst Piano Sonatas.


----------



## hpowders

Should I quit?

Post no. 1 : I took the music aptitude test at Pee-body and I was offered the following choices for instrument study:

Sackbut, alto bagpipe, marching band cello, shepherd's pipe and cymbal.

Sounds like they're trying to give my sorry butt, the sack!


----------



## hpowders

Atonal Thread Section:

Did harmony ruin music?


----------



## hpowders

Did Beethoven murder Mozart because Beethoven didn't want anyone to know that he modeled his third piano concerto after Mozart's 24th?


----------



## hpowders

Mozart's 350 worst compositions.


----------



## hpowders

Would you still love Berg's Violin Concerto after finding out that the original publisher made a typo and his name was really Burp and also that one of his opera's should have been called Lulu's Burp?


----------



## hpowders

How to get into atonal music if you can't find your key.

Post no. 1: I'm Kallah Lockschmidt and I can help!!


----------



## hpowders

Who was more radical, John Cage or Yoko Ono?


----------



## hpowders

Opera Complaints Section:

I saw Tosca recently, but I would have liked it more without the singing.


----------



## hpowders

Good News Department!!

Post no 1: In an attic in Erie, Pennsylvania 17 new and different versions of Bruckner's Third Symphony were recently discovered! President Trump authenticated all of them!


----------



## hpowders

Mood-breakers forum:

How fast can you play movement one of the Moonlight Sonata?


----------



## hpowders

TC Politically correct section:

If a composer writes both tonal and atonal music, so the composer is bi-musical and he could use a man's or woman's bathroom?


----------



## ST4

Since tonality and atonality represent morality and immorality, does that mean I have the death sentence?


----------



## Dim7

When you're NOT eavesdropping other Talk Classical members, what do you listen to?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: If Schubert had broken his glasses, how many other works of his would have been labeled "Unfinished"?

1. 69

2. 96

3. Should have had contacts as an emergency backup

4. I wish Schubert was dead!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> 4. I wish Schubert was dead!


I hate to break it to you, but...


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> I hate to break it to you, but...


The anticipation is electrique!!! WATT?? WATT?


----------



## Vaneyes

Separate washrooms for classical music lovers, and the unclean?


----------



## Vaneyes

Three octanes of gas and marijuana at fueling stations?


----------



## Vaneyes

Smooth toilet paper or rough toilet paper?


----------



## Vaneyes

Air freshener in your bathroom, or not?


----------



## Vaneyes

Kiss and tell, or not? ('News at Eleven')


----------



## Vaneyes

Bald tires or bald head?


----------



## Bettina

Vaneyes said:


> Smooth toilet paper or rough toilet paper?


My preferences vary, depending on what music I'm listening to while I "do my business." For example: Mozart--smooth toilet paper. Bartok--rough toilet paper.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> My preferences vary, depending on what music I'm listening to while I "do my business." For example: Mozart--smooth toilet paper. Bartok--rough toilet paper.


And for Stravinsky's Le Sacre du Printemps and all its primitive savagery, NO toilet paper! You must dance yourself clean, even if it kills you!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> And for Stravinsky's Le Sacre du Printemps and all its primitive savagery, NO toilet paper! You must dance yourself clean, even if it kills you!


Sounds fun! However, Stravinsky's sacrificial dance is only for virgins. I have to admit that I don't quite qualify...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Sounds fun! However, Stravinsky's sacrificial dance is only for virgins. I have to admit that I don't quite qualify...


Yeah. Fun! The penalty for impersonating a virgin was a slow death, none of those guys would be Russian it, as opposed to being a real virgin and dancing yourself to death in 30 minutes.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Sounds fun! However, Stravinsky's sacrificial dance is only for virgins. I have to admit that I don't quite qualify...


In those days, the first thing a new baby did when it was born is look down and if he saw a 2 inch protuberance, he was elated and yelled" Thank God I'm a male and can watch the virgins die from the sidelines!"


----------



## hpowders

Confession Thread

Post no. 1: I'm allergic to tone-clusters. Peanut-clusters are okay, however.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> In those days, the first thing a new baby did when it was born is look down and if he saw a 2 inch protuberance, he was elated and yelled" Thank God I'm a male and can watch the virgins die from the sidelines!"


Yeah, guys are so lucky. I always used to worry that I would be chosen for the springtime ritual (I'm female, in case you couldn't tell from my username )

When I lost my you-know-what, my first thought was, "Thank God, now I'll never have to dance in the Rite of Spring!" :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> My preferences vary, depending on what music I'm listening to while I "do my business." For example: Mozart--smooth toilet paper. Bartok--rough toilet paper.


And as 4 Haydn, a Surprise color to delight you Bach there.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> And Haydn, a Surprise color to delight you Bach there.


All of this has given me an idea for a new thread! Poll: What music do you listen to in the bathroom?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> All of this has given me an idea for a new thread! Poll: What music do you listen to in the bathroom?


The second movement of Haydn's Symphony No. 93 has a musical "fart", the famous raspy bassoon joke, so I would go along with that.

If you haven't heard that, please do so. It's so funny!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> The second movement of Haydn's Symphony No. 93 has a musical "fart", the famous raspy bassoon joke, so I would go along with that.
> 
> If you haven't heard that, please do so. It's so funny!


There's also Beethoven's cantata Meeresstille und glückliche Fahrt.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> There's also Beethoven's cantata Meeresstille und glückliche Fahrt.


And also in the final movement of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, the bassoon has a couple of "farts" in the march-like introduction to the tenor solo "Froh....froh.....

Seems like Beethoven and Haydn loved that down to earth Viennese peasant humor. Unlike Mozart.


----------



## ST4

Bettina said:


> All of this has given me an idea for a new thread! Poll: What music do you listen to in the bathroom?


Toilet Music by Anonymous


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, guys are so lucky. I always used to worry that I would be chosen for the springtime ritual (I'm female, in case you couldn't tell from my username )
> 
> When I lost my you-know-what, my first thought was, "Thank God, now I'll never have to dance in the Rite of Spring!" :lol:


No! I thought you adapted "Bettina" to throw me off the scent.

Well as long as you_ put it that way_, you can sit alongside the men and watch the phr-allics.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Toilet Music by Anonymous


Nah! I think his name was Scott Tísu


----------



## Bettina

ST4 said:


> Toilet Music by Anonymous


That's a Charmin piece of music.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That's a Charmin piece of music.


Sorry, Princess White Cloud. I haven't got a square to spare.


----------



## Dim7

Should we nuke the "other" classical music forum?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Poll: Are you a virgin?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Should we nuke the "other" classical music forum?


That makes 3 but Harry Partch is better


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your Ten Favorite British Communis*t*posers
Karl Marx


----------



## Bettina

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Poll: Are you a virgin?


I listen to Elizabethan Renaissance virginal music. Does that count?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> I want to be a hpowdersian, what posts do you reccommend to get me started?


Start with this. "I woke up with 37 likes but I could only see 20 of them. How can I pay tribute to my subjects if I can't see who they are? Fix at once or I will go to that other forum where the skies are not cloudy all day. Home, home with the strange. Where the deer and the antelope play. Where nothing is heard, not a discouraging word and I can be posting all day."


----------



## hpowders

TC Ambition Section:

I just had my car detailed and now I want to get my piano prepared. Recommendations?


----------



## Bettina

Poll: When you go to a concert, do you bring your cell phone with you?

1. Yes, but I turn it off.
2. Yes, I use my iPhone to surf the internet during the boring pieces.
3. I don't have a cell phone. After all, none of the great classical composers had those silly things!
4. Other (please specify)


----------



## hpowders

New Section:

Hello. New here! I'm a pseudo-intellectual elitist looking to meet others who look down on the non-classical masses.
Can't wait to join in!


----------



## ST4

Here is a filler STI:


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> New Section:
> 
> Hello. New here! I'm a pseudo-intellectual elitist looking to meet others who look down on the non-classical masses.
> Can't wait to join in!


What is the key to special entry?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> What is the key to special entry?


No its a keyless Atonal entry only...............


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> New Section:
> 
> Hello. New here! I'm a pseudo-intellectual elitist looking to meet others who look down on the non-classical masses.
> Can't wait to join in!


You're in the right place. Here on TC, we enjoy making fun of K-Mart employees.

When I ask the K-mart clerks for a fortepiano recording, they think I want to buy a piano inside a fort.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> You're in the right place. Here on TC, we enjoy making fun of K-Mart employees.
> 
> When I ask the K-mart clerks for a fortepiano recording, they think I want to buy a piano inside a fort.


Oh good! I'm glad! Whenever I enter K-Mart, I expect a clerk to immediately bring me a bottle of Evian water. It's the least they can do for me.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Oh good! I'm glad! Whenever I enter K-Mart, I expect a clerk to immediately bring me a bottle of Evian water. It's the least they can do for me.


:lol: more laughing.....and harry partch


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> :lol: more laughing.....and harry partch


As a member of the pseudo-intellectual elite, I "demahnd" it!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How about for the Spamallectual elite


----------



## ST4

*Poll: Is [composer] [opinion]? *

answer $1 - Agreement followed by claims based on opinion 
answer $2 - Disagreement followed by claims based on opinion
answer $3 - I pretend that I share both opinions, even though they are complete opposites
answer $4 - I do not have any knowledge of this subject because I either haven't researched or don't care, but who care I'll post a comment anyway
answer $5 - Whoith thoughith careith about thy poll? shall thee be tortured in a monotonous lake of fire?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Poll: Scams, your Favourites?*

Your 10 favourite Phone Scams


----------



## geralmar

My military service was honorable (if undistinguished). So I have always been bothered that "veteran" includes the word "ran".

Someone else pointed out that "believe" includes the word "lie".


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Poll: Scams, your Favourites?*
> 
> Your 10 favourite Phone Scams


jehovah's witnesses


----------



## geralmar

Bettina said:


> You're in the right place. Here on TC, we enjoy making fun of K-Mart employees.
> 
> When I ask the K-mart clerks for a fortepiano recording, they think I want to buy a piano inside a fort.


Years ago I was passing through the small desert town, Casa Grande, Arizona. I stopped at a corner record store and asked to see their classical music section. I was directed to a bin labeled "Golden Oldies".


----------



## MoonlightSonata

*I hate your favourite composer*
Their music is so disgusting and icky, whoever they are. I don't like it and they should not be allowed to compose. Please only civil replies, and don't call me a troll.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> *I hate your favourite composer*
> Their music is so disgusting and icky, whoever they are. I don't like it and they should not be allowed to compose. Please only civil replies, and don't call me a troll.


So you are not liking Zozart just come out and say it....

His musical style might be Pugnatious, undefined, grandeous and gratuitous but is unique.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your 10 favourite fake classical manuscripts in order of collectibility


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your 10 favourite fake classical manuscripts in order of collectibility


Zozart's 2nd Requiem after he was resurrected and came back for the 2nd coming


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Scared music: what have you been listening to lately?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers who were afraid of heights


----------



## ST4

Scarred Music: what music permanently effected your ability to function as a human being? (with pictures)


----------



## ST4

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composers who were afraid of heights


Well not Mendelssohn with his government-sponsored MendelDive: Sky-diving service


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Mahlerian - best recordings since 2000?


----------



## Dim7

Composers who were afraid of sounds


----------



## ST4

Composers who you pretend to like, to make people hate you


----------



## Dim7

Which 10 active TC members' lives would you sacrifice in order to bring your favorite composer back to life?


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Composers who were afraid of sounds


John Cage :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Why did Ditters von Dittersdorf have no impact on the world?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Why did Ditters von Dittersdorf have no impact on the world?


Thanks for telling me! I was about to drive away to K-Mart (Walmart is a back up) to ask for the complete von Dittersdorf chamber music and a coffee maker. So, I'll just be going for the coffee maker. Glad I didn't make a fool of myself!


----------



## hpowders

There's a rumor going around that Schoenberg stopped at 12 tones because he was superstitious about the number 13.

Post no. 1: I have no proof because after all 12 is Aron' 13. Pretty close.


----------



## Kivimees

Who's the most handsome poseur?


----------



## hpowders

Kivimees said:


> Who's the most handsome poseur?


Mona Lisa.


----------



## hpowders

TC politically correct norms of behavior thread

Post no. 1: I hate Bruckner's music and I just read that Sibelius admired Bruckner. So should I stop listening to the music of Sibelius?
I'm new here and I want to do what's expected of me and even more, I want to do the right thing.


----------



## hpowders

Confused Newbie Here. Help Needed!

Post no. 1: Who's this guy Modifying Post, I keep reading about?


----------



## hpowders

I can't seem to leave my music behind department.

Post no. 1: I went to Outback Steakhouse for dinner and instead of ordering the Bloomin' Onion, I ordered the Bloomin' Blumine.
I will be dining at home from now on.


----------



## hpowders

List your favorite Debussy works and the intoxicating French Perfumes that inspired them.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who is your Favourite Moderator?


----------



## hpowders

I was promised a TC Composer of the Month Calendar when I joined TC!!!

Post no. 1:That was 7 years ago! How much longer?


----------



## hpowders

How can one be a member of the second violin section of the Whitefish, Montana Philharmonic and not have an inferiority complex?


----------



## hpowders

Why won't you mean-spirited ******** give me more likes?


----------



## hpowders

Classical novice and newbie here: Is it best to boo a symphony after each individual movement or is it best to wait 'til the whole damn thing is over?


----------



## hpowders

STI Gratitude thread

Post no. 1: I just want to thank the entire Stupid Thread Ideas crew for giving my life new meaning. You know, your regular forum is so dull and they argue over dumb things. So which forum is really the stupid one? I'm confused.


----------



## hpowders

STI Social Committee:

Post no. 1: You are all invited to my house for some well-tempered fillet mignon!


----------



## hpowders

Questionable economics section

Post no. 1: Why do DVDs cost more than CDs? Sound is sound isn't it?


----------



## hpowders

How can we make classical music less popular?

Post no. 1: I'm an elitist snob and want to drive the majority of Americans away from classical music so I can feel superior to them.
I have some other good ideas. Will post them soon.


----------



## hpowders

What is your favorite work by your most reviled composer whom you never listen to?

Post no. 1: I'll start. Vivaldi's Piccolo Concerto in C.


----------



## hpowders

I read on Facebook Fake News that Talk Classical is really populated by only four active posters.

Post no. 1: Is this true? If it is, aren't I the fifth?


----------



## hpowders

What if Beethoven's father had slipped on the ice and cracked his skull open when Beethoven was 5 years old?

Post no. 1: Would Beethoven have invented the Pastoral Passbook at the Bonn National Bank as a salaried bank teller?


----------



## hpowders

amateur chamber music section

Post no. 1. My two friends and I want to play piano trios but don't have the slightest idea how to get started.

Anyone know if they sell a book, say, "Trios for Dummies" at Walmart?


----------



## hpowders

TC Gratitude Section

Post no. 2: Hey let me tell you! The past 50 years in the clink just seemed to fly by reading the STI posts and laughed my freakin' a$$ off! I will be getting out in 11.5 years and I hope to individually thank each and every one of you. I will PM each of you so please provide me with your home addresses so I can visit when the time comes.

Sincerely,

Charlie Manson


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Who is your Favourite Moderator?


Frank the Enforcer.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Should we nuke the "other" classical music forum?


No need. This one's a lot better. I hated that one.


----------



## David OByrne

I don't get it 15 character limit


----------



## Bettina

There should be concerts of Stupid Musical Ideas.


----------



## Pugg

David OByrne said:


> I don't get it 15 character limit


Welcome the the world internet.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

David OByrne said:


> I don't get it 15 character limit


If that wasn't a joke you will work it out. Welcome aboard.

Hey and that makes four mentions now and counting 

Harry Partch is better


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your Ten Favorite Antarctic Composers


----------



## Dim7

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your Ten Favorite Antarctic Composers


Your Ten Favorite Anarchic Posters


----------



## Dim7

*Shouldn't we euthanize Dim7?*

He is ancient in TC years (over 7 and half). Moreover he shows clear signs of senility as he mostly just Talks Nonsense, posts stupid thread( idea)s and irrelevant off-topic remarks - completely expected in that kind of age of course. Let's put him out of misery.


----------



## hpowders

Your 10 favorite Scarlatti keyboard sonatas.

Choose from among the 555 listed below:


----------



## Vaneyes

Wear same underwear two consecutive days (or more)?


----------



## Vaneyes

Bait and switch? Bait or switch?


----------



## Vaneyes

Spanking, a stern talking to, or both?


----------



## Vaneyes

Snooker, billiards, pool, pocket pool?


----------



## Vaneyes

Netflix or drive-in movie?


----------



## Vaneyes

Big tip, moderate tip, no tip?


----------



## Vaneyes

Silence is golden or silver?


----------



## Vaneyes

Xmas at home, at relative's, at friend's, on the street?


----------



## Vaneyes

Book, movie, recording, or spouse?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> *Shouldn't we euthanize Dim7?*
> 
> He is ancient in TC years (over 7 and half). Moreover he shows clear signs of senility as he mostly just Talks Nonsense, posts stupid thread( idea)s and irrelevant off-topic remarks - completely expected in that kind of age of course. Let's put him out of misery.


Just diminish him by 1/7th. And that would still be better than 3/5 th's of what's "out there" on the "regular" forum.


----------



## Bettina

Vaneyes said:


> Wear same underwear two consecutive days (or more)?


No, I always change my panties every day. Sometimes more often if I've been listening to music by my "composer crushes..."


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> No, I always change my panties every day. Sometimes more often if I've been listening to music by my "composer crushes..."


Very re-veal-ing, Ms. Parmigiana.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> No, I always change my panties every day. Sometimes more often if I've been listening to music by my "composer crushes..."


Nothing like some good old innuendo to get my....uhhh.... adrenalin flowing.


----------



## millionrainbows

Let's talk about panties.

And now: Mozart was a Freemason. Does this affect your opinions of his sacred works?


----------



## hpowders

Composers you pretend to hate, to make posters loathe you.

Post no.1: Believe me!! This works very well!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Liszt performances

Post no. 1: Nobody stimulates me to ecstasy like the performing of Claudio Arouse.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Zozart's 2nd Requiem after he was resurrected and came back for the 2nd coming


It's already on Amazon. With Prime, the Zozart can Zoom your way over-night.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Wear same underwear two consecutive days (or more)?


Did you say days, I thought is was years- gosh how silly of me..............


----------



## millionrainbows

millionrainbows said:


> Let's talk about panties.
> 
> And now: Mozart was a Freemason. Does this affect your opinions of his sacred works?


Bettina "liked" my post. Now I'm really excited.

If I could figure out a way to get Pugg and her together for some indoor frolicking…provided, of course, that they are indeed females, and not law enforcement agents.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your Ten Favorite Antarctic Composers


Ludwig von-Williams.


----------



## Dim7

Tonality of tonal tonality


----------



## millionrainbows

Coming soon: Stupid Thread Ideas Greatest Hits


----------



## millionrainbows

Dim7 said:


> Tonality of tonal tonality


I'm not worried about tonality anymore. Now what I want to know is "Where's One?"


----------



## millionrainbows

Headline: Classical music listener injures foot while toe-tapping to a Mahler symphony.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Just diminish him by 1/7th. And that would still be better than 3/5 th's of what's "out there" on the "regular" forum.


Sounds like he has a case of diminished cognitive abilities, think it would be safer to confine him to the regular forums...... and put his swords into longterm storage .


----------



## hpowders

What are the last four female pianists that you really got into?


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Coming soon: Stupid Thread Ideas Greatest Hits


So what do you call what I've been doin' here all these months? I could have had a total of a billion posts by now on the "regular" forum.


----------



## hpowders

Hey gang!!! I just played Beethoven's Emperor Piano Concerto and I'm not even tired. No mistakes either!!

Post no. 1: I simply placed the Rudolf Serkin CD into the CD player, pushed play, fell asleep and here I am 40 minutes later.

Curiously refreshing!


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> So what do you call what I've been doin' here all these months? I could have had a total of a billion posts by now on the "regular" forum.


Let's call it "hpowders and Brazil '66"


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Let's call it "hpowders and Brazil '66"


So Mendes-cious!!


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Bettina "liked" my post. Now I'm really excited.
> 
> If I could figure out a way to get Pugg and her together for some indoor frolicking…provided, of course, that they are indeed females, and not law enforcement agents.


I swear, on a stack of used panties, that I am indeed female. 

Not so sure about Pugg, though...don't be fooled by the avatar.


----------



## hpowders

W.H.O.S.E. (What Haydn Or Scriabin Exclaimed!)


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I swear, on a stack of used panties, that I am indeed female.
> 
> Not so sure about Pugg, though...don't be fooled by the avatar.


Yes. I heard quite the contrary. Meanwhile, I'm opening some windows. It's getting a bit warm here in the hpowders' chateau.


----------



## Vaneyes

TC TOS may have reached its panty post quota. True or False?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I just played my Beethoven's Emperor Piano Concerto record with my violin bow but nothing nice came out, what am I doing wrong???????


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> TC TOS may have reached its panty post quota. True or False?


I could do a joke about jazz discharge party hats but I wont.


----------



## Bettina

Vaneyes said:


> TC TOS may have reached its panty post quota. True or False?


False!! Vivaldi wrote 600 concertos. I'm aiming for at least that many panty posts.


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I just played my Beethoven's Emperor Piano Concerto record with my violin bow but nothing nice came out, what am I doing wrong???????


I just played with...oh, never mind...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Oh, I should have used panties to play my _Beethoven's Emperor Piano Concerto record - Stupid me........._


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh, I should have used panties to play my _Beethoven's Emperor Piano Concerto record - Stupid me........._


Shhh...don't tell anybody how to play that record...that's Victoria's Secret!


----------



## hpowders

Twilight Zone Section:

Post no. 1: I was watching that Twilight Zone episode where ugliness is beauty and beauty is revolting. I'm wondering, would their music be atonal and sound beautiful to them while Beethoven and Mozart would make them nauseous?


----------



## hpowders

To become a mod on TC, do I need to make a perfect pitch?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Loaded polls or loaded guns, which are more dangerous?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Twilight Zone Section:
> 
> Post no. 1: I was watching that Twilight Zone episode where ugliness is beauty and beauty is revolting. I'm wondering, would their music be atonal and sound beautiful to them while Beethoven and Mozart would make them nauseous?


Beethoven and Mozart had Atonal toenails a little known factoid.......


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Beethoven and Mozart had Atonal toenails a little known factoid.......


Yeah, that's why they wrote 12-toe music. :lol: :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Did Schoenberg emigrate to the USA to avoid conviction in Austria for killing music?


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Instrument

Post no. 1: Do you prefer playing it solo or in mixed ensembles?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Favorite Instrument
> 
> Post no. 1: Do you prefer playing it solo or in mixed ensembles?


Piano. I like to play with it solo. No, I don't mean it like _that_, get your minds out of the gutter! :devil:


----------



## SiegendesLicht

Why do I keep falling in love with dead German composers and musicians?

Post No.1: Can someone explain this phenomenon? Does it qualify as a paraphilia? If yes, is there a clinical name for it?


----------



## hpowders

5¢ is relatively cheap. Not that anyone here needs it.


----------



## hpowders

Religion adaptibility section:

Post no. 1: I'm a devout narcissist and it's against my religion not to have a self-like mechanism in place for all my posts.
Please fix within two days or I will throw a temper tantrum you wouldn't believe!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Piano. I like to play with it solo. No, I don't mean it like _that_, get your minds out of the gutter! :devil:


If I got my mind out of the gutter, the essence, the very soul of hpowders, would be gone.

All that would be left, sadly, is enbouchure.


----------



## ST4

Does this post live up to the reputation of its predecessors?


----------



## ST4

*Actors who where composers in their afterlives:*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> *Actors who where composers in their afterlives:*


Do Banjo Players count!


----------



## ST4

Composers who need jesus:


----------



## ST4

Composers who have given into the evil ways of Santa:


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Minimalists and Total Serialists: Poor Potty Training?


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Composer Alignment Chart (Was Wagner Chaotic Evil?)


----------



## Dim7

Retrograde Inversion said:


> Composer Alignment Chart (Was Wagner Chaotic Evil?)


Schoenberg changed from Chaotic Evil to Lawful Evil when he came up with the 12-method.


----------



## Dim7

In Praise of Burps


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Retrograde Inversion said:


> Composer Alignment Chart (Was Wagner Chaotic Evil?)


Mendelssohn was lawful good


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Would you rather watch clothes drying at the laundromat or listen to the music of the following composers. Choose up to three.

1. Vivaldi

2. Scarlatti

3. Wagner

4. I would put the dryer on speed dry and still have plenty of time to go home and listen to all of the above.

5. I'm not that smart. I would just sit there and watch the clothes dry.


----------



## Bettina

SiegendesLicht said:


> Why do I keep falling in love with dead German composers and musicians?
> 
> Post No.1: Can someone explain this phenomenon? Does it qualify as a paraphilia? If yes, is there a clinical name for it?


I have the same problem. Dr. Freud to the rescue! Uh-oh, I might fall in love with him too... :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Which has been more destructive for human civilization, atomic bombs or atonal music?


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Poll: Would you rather watch clothes drying at the *laundromat* or listen to the music of the following composers. Choose up to three.
> 
> 1. Vivaldi
> 
> 2. Scarlatti
> 
> 3. Wagner
> 
> 4. I would put the dryer on speed dry and still have plenty of time to go home and listen to all of the above.
> 
> 5. I'm not that smart. I would just sit there and watch the clothes dry.












What is a _laundromat?_


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> What is a _laundromat?_


A place, of course, where the common non-classical listening folk go to do their laundro, Matt.

I have my own matching washer and dryer of course, as an established member of the classical music listening elite, whom the peasants have targeted, and will soon rise up against in a bloody, glorious revolution.

So why do I feel so de-_pressed?_


----------



## hpowders

Newbie composer here:

Post no. 1: Please constructively criticize my new cantata, "In Praise of Groups, fa, la , la, la, LA, la, la, la, LA!"

It's written in semi-sweet but occasionally bitter vernacular.


----------



## hpowders

TC Surgical Consultation Section:

Post no. 1: I'm thinking of having a nose job, but my plastic surgeon says afterwards, I will only be able to do Tres Picos a day. My usual quota is Cinquenta y Seis Picos a day. I'm thinking of Bach-ing out.
What say you, guys and gals? I will imbibe by your incision.


----------



## Dim7

In Denigration of Groups


----------



## Dr Johnson

Gruppi sportivi


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dr Johnson said:


> Gruppi sportivi


My hearing is bad I thought you'd said 
Gruppi Brevi


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Composers who need jesus:


Messiaen. However, I find his music for the birds.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Messiaen. However, I find his music for the birds.


I'd add JS Bach and Handel to that list too :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Sex Group Introductory Tribute Posts

Post no. 1: Hilary's violin playing makes me so darn Hahny; so Strangely Magical!


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> I'd add JS Bach and Handel to that list too :tiphat:


I think Handel died of a Bach-terial infection, no? He was en-counter-ing tenors at the time.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> My hearing is bad I thought you'd said
> Gruppi Brevi


How about a nice Gruppi hug with Bettina in the middle, and I promise I will forget the whole thing.


----------



## hpowders

Greetings from Grease!

Posting this from Memphis at the traveling Broadway production. The leading man is no Travolta, by the way!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How Often Do You Discover New Composters?

On average, once a week when I take out the garbage


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Do Banjo Players count!


The ones in Tampa who finished 4th grade do.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> The ones in Tampa who finished 4th grade do.


Ah, so not Steve Martin then..........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How Often Do You Discover New Composters?
> 
> On average, once a week when I take out the garbage


This post cements rather than soils your STI reputation.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ah, so not Steve Martin then..........


 I don't know how the heck he got so far on so little talent, IMHO.

I find him so incredibly dull and unfunny.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> How about a nice Gruppi hug with Bettina in the middle, and I promise I will forget the whole thing.


I like this idea! OK, let's get in position. One of you in front and one of you in back...that should take care of the "hole" thing... :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I like this idea! OK, let's get in position. One of you in front and one of you in back...that should take care of the "hole" thing... :devil:


I'll take the front to protect you from being shot in the ....umm....chest, otherwise, hole-y hell might break out!


----------



## hpowders

The Bettina Tribute thread:

Steve Martin: so dull and unfunny.

Bettina: so stimulating and witty.

Thus ends my tribute.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I like this idea! OK, let's get in position. One of you in front and one of you in back...that should take care of the "hole" thing... :devil:


Yes. I thought you might like the stimulating sandwich idea.

It can help de-cum-press a tense situation and calm you down.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> The Bettina Tribute thread:
> 
> Steve Martin: so dull and unfunny.
> 
> Bettina: so stimulating and witty.
> 
> Thus ends my tribute.


Thanks!! You're actually wittier than both of us.

I sometimes repeat the same jokes too often. Here's a poll question for all of you: Are you tired of hearing about Bettina's panties?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thanks!! You're actually wittier than both of us.
> 
> I sometimes repeat the same jokes too often. Here's a poll question for all of you: Are you tired of hearing about Bettina's panties?


No. Especially if they are tightly, permanently pressed against....


----------



## hpowders

Why is STI so successful, especially to the three posters who inhabit it?

Post no. 1: I believe it's due to the pro-long-ed dim-innuendo implied in so many of the posts; just a wild guess.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Why is STI so successful, especially to the three posters who inhabit it?
> 
> Post no. 1: I believe it's due to the pro-long-ed dim-innuendo implied in so many of the posts; just a wild guess.


Well, doesn't STI stand for Sexy Thread Ideas? Or have I been wrong all along?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Well, doesn't STI stand for Sexy Thread Ideas? Or have I been wrong all along?


I'm surprised that "sexy" got through the censors. Tomorrow it will probably look like "****".

I always thought it stood for Surprisinglyintelligent Thread Ideas.


----------



## hpowders

Who are your favorite decomposing composers?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Who are your favorite decomposing composers?


Hans Rott

 But Harry Partch is better


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> Who are your favorite decomposing composers?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers who died


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Zombie Composers Composting


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Hans Rott
> 
> But Harry Partch is better


Something is Rott-ing in Denmark. Perhaps it's Nielsen.


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Zombie Composers Composting


...........................Hairy Pouch


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers who lived


----------



## Pugg

Composers and members on state benefits.


----------



## ST4

Real-life encounters between TC users - Rate the awkwardness here!


----------



## ST4

List of living composers that make a living off their "music":










.....


----------



## ST4

Your favourite composer "sex groups"? WTF


----------



## ST4

Composers who make a living working at Walmart


----------



## Dim7

The most normal real life occurrence ever?


----------



## Dim7

This hasn't gone viral


----------



## TurnaboutVox

This has gone viral...


----------



## Dim7

*This has gone viral*

[link to a site with malware]


----------



## hpowders

TurnaboutVox said:


> This has gone viral...


Yes! Recollection of a mis-spent youth: Wasn't that used as the lead ship from the Klingon Empire on TV Star Trek??


----------



## Dim7

Poll: How Often Do You Conceal New Composers?


----------



## hpowders

Musical Sensitivity Department:

Post no. 1: I'm having Carol over for Christmas. I'm apprehensive (word of the day) about playing Christmas Carols when she's there as she might think I'm purposely dissing her. Suggestions?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Composers who make a living working at Walmart


I have a feeling the above was posted in jest,

*BUT!!!!*

If Beethoven's father fatally cracked his skull on the ice after one of his drinking binges when Beethoven was 5, Beethoven might have wound up at Walmart selling Eroica English Muffins for 3 Florins each; 2 packages for 5.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Your favourite composer "sex groups"? WTF


I'm assuming in your passionate exclamation above, WTF means Why The Fuss? Exactly!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'm assuming in your passionate exclamation above, WTF means Why The Fuss? Exactly!


I think WTF means Want To...um, you know...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I think WTF means Want To...um, you know...


Not sure. My favorite religious leader after all, was Pope Innocent. :angel:


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Not sure. My favorite religious leader after all, was Pope Innocent. :angel:


Bettina, I just went out and asked my neighbor. OMG!!!!! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

New Server!!!

Post no. 1: Let's try him out. "Oh, James! Please bring out the lamb chops, mashed potatoes and gravy and pour some more Château Lafite."


----------



## Pugg

TurnaboutVox said:


> This has gone viral...


Thanks goodness, it helped.:devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Songs about Viruses


----------



## Dim7

Why did Wagner have such an impact on the Ring Cycle?


----------



## Blancrocher

Why did detergent have such an impact on the rinse cycle?


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> Why did detergent have such an impact on the rinse cycle?


You seem to be in an unusually bubbly mood today!

I don't believe any of that detergent reached Niebelung, however. Pretty musky down there, from reported accounts.


----------



## hpowders

TC Confusion Section

Post no: 1: I love the Wagner Ring Niebelungen scenes. So if I'm looking for excerpts, shouldn't I be looking for lowlights rather than highlights?


----------



## Blancrocher

hpowders said:


> TC Confusion Section
> 
> Post no: 1: I love the Wagner Ring Niebelungen scenes. So if I'm looking for excerpts, shouldn't I be looking for lowlights rather than highlights?


They're not in the twilights, I can tell you that--what a ripoff.


----------



## Dim7

Stupid but serious anecdotes (must be long-winded)


----------



## Dim7

Why did some things happen and other things not?


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Are there any operas about flame wars?


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Underwear sizes of the great composers


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: A la Horse & Carte Composer Poll #2225 (Seabiscuit, Phar Bach, Horzart, Silky Delius
Poll: Which of these carteposers do you like?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: A la Horse & Carte Composer Poll #2225 (Seabiscuit, Phar Bach, Horzart, Silky Delius
> Poll: Which of these carteposers do you like?


Glad to participate, neigh-bor!


----------



## millionrainbows

Retrograde Inversion said:


> Underwear sizes of the great composers


Panty sizes of the great MALE composers...


----------



## millionrainbows

The influence of Mogen-David on Schoenberg


----------



## Dim7

In Praise of Competing Forums


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> The influence of Mogen-David on Schoenberg


Had to google that one had no idea what Mogen-David was, I thought it might be something like Mogadon, don't have 
any Mad Dog 20/20 downunder.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> In Praise of Competing Forums


Up to five now......


----------



## hpowders

Why does hpowders even bother posting on the main forum?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Why does hpowders even bother posting on the main forum?


Hey, the main forum needs your voice of reason! Don't limit yourself to the Stupid Thread Ideas section...you're too smart for that!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hey, the main forum needs your voice of reason! Don't limit yourself to the Stupid Thread Ideas section...you're too smart for that!


What if the forces of evil condemn me to the STI thread by instituting an electrified fence around it?
You will still write me and visit me once a month?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> What if the forces of evil condemn me to the STI thread by instituting an electrified fence around it?
> You will still write me and visit me once a month?


Of course! I'll even smuggle things to you while you're in the TC jail. But I hope it doesn't come to that. Your posts on the main forum are much appreciated by everyone who enjoys Smart Thread Ideas!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Of course! I'll even smuggle things to you while you're in the TC jail. But I hope it doesn't come to that. Your posts on the main forum are much appreciated by everyone who enjoys Smart Thread Ideas!


Thanks! I'll be expecting a rum cake every 15th of the month.....very light on the cake.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Had to google that one had no idea what Mogen-David was, I thought it might be something like Mogadon, don't have
> any Mad Dog 20/20 downunder.


Mogen-David is overly sweet red wine served by Jews at the Passover meal. If served to me, I would simply _Pass _it _over _to the next person.
I would most likely bring a thermos filled with gin and tonic.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that J. Haydn deliberately composed 104 symphonies so he could brag that he was a 2.5365 times better composer than W.A.Mozart?

Post no.1: I think I read that in a music journal, or maybe, it was People Magazine. Anyway, I'm new here but I have other thought-provoking topics too.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Songs about Viruses


"You used to be the antibiotic of my soul". Sung as only Dolly Parton can.


----------



## hpowders

Latest Purchases:

Post no. 1: Dyson V8 Absolute wireless stick vacuum. Takes my breath away from its powerful $ucks-ion.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Emotional character of different keys. Which turn you on the most? Choose up to 8. (I know there aren't 8 choices. This is the main forum. Don't expect so much!)

1. front door

2. garage door

3. the safe

4. the city

5. the car

6. any key Wagner wrote in

7. Michael Key-ton


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I have decided to eat hay


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have decided to eat hay


That reminds me of a composition by La Monte Young, called Piano Piece for David Tudor #1. The performer feeds the piano a bucket of hay.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> That reminds me of a composition by La Monte Young, called Piano Piece for David Tudor #1. The performer feeds the piano a bucket of hay.


Wonder if we could come up with variations on these original themes lol.

I like Piano Piece for Terry Riley#1, just keep pushing that piano thru that wall

Could have Piano Piece for Riley Kestrel #100KPH down the freeway........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have decided to eat hay


Hay, don't let me stop you, Horse-t.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How much inspiration did Beethoven get from Zozart?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mozart Hate Thread


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Celebrating Mozart's Death Anniversary


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Up to five now......


The maximum will be 12 fora. Collectively, they are afraid of the number "13".


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have decided to eat hay


Post no. 1: A great big mazel tov!! Many people regurgitate the hay out of frustration and leave.

Glad you haven't reached your fill yet with Talk Classical, Hay-man.

I will know you are ecstatic with Talk Classical when you go for an actual roll in the hay!

For the benefit of all, I hope you write about it and share.

Sign me,

A Talk Classical non-hay-ter.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement Section

TC War: January 2nd, 2017: 

Participants: Those who dislike Mozart vs. Mozart 225'ers.

PM me to be a participant.


----------



## hpowders

Seventeen year old male badly in need of organ lessons.

Post no. 1: Getting desperate! PM me immediately!


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

4'33" in the age of the cellphone


----------



## hpowders

TC Drug Company Trials Section

Post no. 1: Mozart here. Anyone know of any good clinical drug trials for arthritis.
I just turned 225 and my future seems to be a bit Merck-y. 
Kinda stiff...though some here seem to like that.


----------



## Dr Johnson

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have decided to eat hay


Easter hay?


----------



## Dr Johnson

Your favourite gallows pole.


----------



## Vaneyes

Underwear or Commando?


----------



## Vaneyes

Landline, cell, email, snail mail, pigeon, smoke signals, charades?


----------



## hpowders

TC Help Identifying Music Section

Post no. 1: I just read a nice write-up of a Beethoven String Quartet-the "BlueRay" Quartet.
Anybody know when Beethoven wrote this and how I may purchase it in CD form?


----------



## hpowders

Rarely played pieces that should hardly ever be played.


----------



## hpowders

Doing Mozart

Post no. 1: Need advice on making love to a dead person. PM me.


----------



## Guest

Classical songs like Mahler's 9th are too long. BTW, did he write any others?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Doing Mozart
> 
> Post no. 1: Need advice on making love to a dead person. PM me.


Well...he'll definitely be stiff, so I guess that should help things along... :lol:


----------



## hpowders

TC Parenting Problems Thread

Post no. 1: I give up! I have an unambitious son, 16, lives in the basement.
I can't understand why Siegfried is so Idyll.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> TC Parenting Problems Thread
> 
> Post no. 1: I give up! I have an unambitious son, 16, lives in the basement.
> I can't understand why Siegfried is so Idyll.


Nothung can be done to help him.


----------



## Dim7

What are your hobbits besides Bilbo?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Nothung can be done to help him.


So desperate, I got a tour booklet and I'm thinking of sending Siegfried on a Rhine Journey cruise so maybe he:

1. can find himself

2. Meet a rich German girl

3. Drown


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> So desperate, I got a tour booklet and I'm thinking of sending Siegfried on a Rhine Journey cruise so maybe he:
> 
> 1. can find himself
> 
> 2. Meet a rich German girl
> 
> 3. Drown


4. Bring you some more fish for your culinary excercises - hopefully more fresh this time.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Is it true that J. Haydn deliberately composed 104 symphonies so he could brag that he was a 2.5365 times better composer than W.A.Mozart?


I'm not sure; I'll have to do the math and get back to you. In the meanwhile, pass me the Mogen-David...


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> I'm not sure; I'll have to do the math and get back to you. In the meanwhile, pass me the Mogen-David...


Obnoxious sweet wine. One small step above grape juice.


----------



## millionrainbows

I've decided to stay, but will mainly hang around the STI thread, in order to avoid any real human interaction with all its attendant conflicts and foibles.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> "One small step above grape juice...


…but one giant leap for all of Mankind."


----------



## hpowders

STI Congratulatory Thread:

Post no. 1: It was on July 13, 2014 that millionrainbows began this thread. His only mistake was unlike Seinfeld, he didn't demand royalties for each subsequent post. Toooooo bad!!!


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> STI Congratulatory Thread:
> 
> Post no. 1: It was on July 13, 2014 that millionrainbows began this thread. His only mistake was unlike Seinfeld, he didn't demand royalties for each subsequent post. Toooooo bad!!!


Sorta like the guy who invented the smiley face...

Fortunately, I have the lovely and vivacious Bettina to console me...


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Sorta like the guy who invented the smiley face...
> 
> Fortunately, I have the lovely and vivacious Bettina to console me...


But I just heard it from millionrainbows that she is around 62. Not that there's anything wrong with that.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dr Johnson said:


> Easter hay?


Watermelon in Easter Hay, thanks.


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Sorta like the guy who invented the smiley face...
> 
> Fortunately, I have the lovely and vivacious Bettina to console me...


Thanks! Maybe I should demand royalties whenever someone "takes pleasure" in my posts.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thanks! Maybe I should demand royalties whenever someone "takes pleasure" in my posts.


Pleasure? This is all purely clinical.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Pleasure? This is all purely clinical.


It's a "laptop dance."


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Pleasure? This is all purely clinical.


Clinical? Just wait until they come out with the interactive headgear and gloves.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

That's 1,974 straws in a row, and counting.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why do people dislike Zozart?


----------



## millionrainbows

Why do I like Schoenberg? Maybe it's peer pressure. All of my friends are Schoenbergians, and they're all bald and gaunt, and wear suits and ties...


----------



## TurnaboutVox

*Songs about Taxis*

I have been thinking that Taxis and taxis in cities have a lot of songs written about them.

What are some of your favourites?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How about Taxis in Texas


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Why do people dislike Zozart?


It's because he's at the bottom of the alphabet.


----------



## millionrainbows

Why doesn't my grandmother like Brian Ferneyhough's String Quartets? Could it be that they're not good "tea-sipping" quartets?


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Why do I like Schoenberg? Maybe it's peer pressure. All of my friends are Schoenbergians, and they're all bald and gaunt, and wear suits and ties...


I like him because he was afraid of the number 13 and I have 13 letters in my name.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I like him because he was afraid of the number 13 and I have 13 letters in my name.


Thats why he developed the twelve tone method, he played with the idea of 11 and 14 but it didn't have the same ring to it..


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Music science as a theory?


----------



## hpowders

Anybody catch the movie "When Webern met Sally?"


----------



## hpowders

TC Decorum Department

Post no. 1: Newbie to classical here. I like Bach's Christmas Oratorio.
Can I play it when it's not Christmas? I don't want to get into trouble.


----------



## Dim7

What are your hobbies besides mugging and murdering?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

http://www.theonion.com/article/atonal-composers-gather-for-atony-awards-3112

" The highlight of the evening is expected to be the awarding of the Olivier Messiaen Lifetime Achievement Award to Karlheinz Stockhausen for "more than five decades of aggressively impenetrable anti-music."

Nasty Nasty Nasty


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> What are your hobbies besides mugging and murdering?


Nothing special. Just the usual raping and pillaging.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Composers you've composted


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Composers you've composted


I'd answer, but I don't want to soil my reputation.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*If you could only take one Zozart work to a desert island

*What work would it be?


----------



## hpowders

Wanted to rent: One mod pass key for unlocking closed threads. Will return the next day.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *If you could only take one Zozart work to a desert island
> 
> *What work would it be?


Devil's Island concertante for clarinet and orchestra. K 69


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Devil's Island concertante for clarinet and orchestra. K 69


I would take "The big boat at the landing (with Eddie Boyd)"


----------



## hpowders

Where can I purchase those chocolate bagatelles that Beethoven liked so much?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> It's because he's at the bottom of the alphabet.


You made that difficult reply sound EZ.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite composers who were never once assassinated.


----------



## hpowders

I want to be a castrato singer to sing Handel in a HIP way, but my health insurance company told me they will not cover the surgical procedure.

Post no. 1: What will I do? What will I do?


----------



## hpowders

Help identifying a song:

Post no. 1: I just can't place it. It starts like this "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Help identifying a song:
> 
> Post no. 1: I just can't place it. It starts like this "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...."


Billy Idol white wedding


----------



## hpowders

Works that start in a major key and end up in jail.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite classical pieces for wedding band


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Works that start in a major key and end up in jail.


There has been a few - how about Erik Satie when premiered Parade ended up in Jail for 8 days


----------



## hpowders

Scénes de valet:

Post no. 1: "Jeeves, press these pants and wash those undies."


----------



## hpowders

TC break-up thread. Emote here to make you feel better.

Post no, 1: Ain't no schöen-shine when she's gone.


----------



## hpowders

TC IQ test:

Going to the desert island, which would you consider more important to bring with you? Sunblock or the collected works of John Cage?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> TC IQ test:
> 
> Going to the desert island, which would you consider more important to bring with you? Sunblock or the collected works of John Cage?


Neither! I'll bring de Falla's Three-Cornered Hat.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Neither! I'll bring de Falla's Three-Cornered Hat.


You are obviously too smart to be here. I will send Tres Picos to come and remove you from the premises.


----------



## hpowders

Your perfect piece

Post no. 1: Jessica Chastain


----------



## hpowders

Help Wanted Section:

Post no. 1: Attention! I will pay someone 25¢ an hour to teach me classical music. It;s going to be huge! Believe me!

Sincerely,

Donald Trump


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Best settings of Vogon poetry


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Retrograde Inversion said:


> Best settings of Vogon poetry


At the Sistine Chapel

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, 
Thy micturations are to me, 
As plurdled gabbleblotchits, On a lurgid bee, 
That mordiously hath blurted out, 
Its earted jurtles....


----------



## Dim7

There are a lot of Nazi jokes on this site and it's making me sick. Couldn't we do with Führer of them?


----------



## hpowders

*Eight billion people of the world: Poll results in!!!!!!*

Rated most important to least important of peoples' concerns (7.32 billion poll ballots returned)

1. Wagner's music

2. Wagner's writings

3. Talk Classical Wagner threads

4. Disease

5. Hunger

6. Oppression

7. World terrorism

8. Poverty


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> There are a lot of Nazi jokes on this site and it's making me sick. Couldn't we do with Führer of them?


Yeah. I can't see anyone hanging out here to Goebbels these things up.

It really makes me Führer-ious!

Hopefully most of those jokes will be Göring somewhere else.


----------



## Dim7

Pictures that Show Brahms at His Most Unexposed


----------



## hpowders

TC Lost & Found Department

Post no. 1: Found: CD set of the complete works of Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Haydn, Brahms, Mahler and Shostakovich.
PM me to claim it. Honor/honour system enforced.


----------



## hpowders

Cyber-key for sale guaranteed to allow you to post on TC when the site is down.
It can also unlock recently-closed threads.

PM me for today's price.


----------



## hpowders

TC Admissions Department Queries

Post no. 1: Yesterday I got my certificate from Bedlam State Hospital declaring me legally sane.
Can I post here now?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Pictures that Show Brahms at His Most Unexposed


His writing for the clarinet was no Phallicy.


----------



## hpowders

Speedway tickets

Post no. 1: It's not too late to purchase your tickets for the fabulous Mozart 225 Nascar race Christmas Eve at Daytona Speedway!


----------



## hpowders

How much inspiration did Mozart get from Liszt?


----------



## hpowders

Haydn & Beethoven: Was it more than just the music?


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Your favorite Vivaldi concerto

1. Concerto No.100
2. Concerto No. 200
3. Concerto No. 300
4. Concerto No. 400
5. Other (please specify a number between 1 and 600)


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: Your favorite Vivaldi concerto
> 
> 1. Concerto No.100
> 2. Concerto No. 200
> 3. Concerto No. 300
> 4. Concerto No. 400
> 5. Other (please specify a number between 1 and 600)


Looks like today's Classical Public Radio programming schedule guide. The only thing missing is a shameless plea for a contribution.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Fake News Stories

Post no. 1:Richard Wagner learned humility and brevity from Antonio Vivaldi.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Favorite Fake News Stories
> 
> Post no. 1:Richard Wagner learned humility and brevity from Antonio Vivaldi.


So it was Vivaldi who started the "Why do you NOT like Wagner?" thread, that explains everything..........


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> So it was Vivaldi who started the "Why do you NOT like Wagner?" thread, that explains everything..........


Yes, and Wagner wrote an essay about how he hated Vivaldi. Wagner's anti-stringmetic pamphlet is called "Vivaldi-ism in Music."


----------



## Balthazar

The TC Sisters of Charity are currently accepting donations to fund the purchase of fainting couches and smelling salts for the "Why do you NOT like Wagner?" thread.

Some participants appear to be coming down with a touch of the vapours.


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Why do you Heitor Villa-Lobos?


----------



## hpowders

What do you do during a typical TC epic breakdown?


----------



## hpowders

Great classical composers and the bimbos who loved them.


----------



## hpowders

Rate your favorite top ten TC outages.


----------



## hpowders

TC outages you consider to be definitive.


----------



## hpowders

Did yesterday's TC breakdown cause you a Firewall of worry?


----------



## hpowders

Were internet outages worse in Beethoven's time given the relatively primitive living conditions?


----------



## hpowders

Did Wagner's overwhelming world-love suffer a bit because of yesterday's TC power outage?


----------



## hpowders

TC outages that bore you to tears.


----------



## hpowders

Which affects your life more, a TC thread locking or a 6 hour TC site crash?
Debate. Discuss. Make a fuss.


----------



## hpowders

TC Alert Section

Have U voted for your favorite U composer??

Voting will be closed very soon. No recounts!!


----------



## hpowders

Second Music War:

U composers vs. Wagner

Hope U don't get shut out from participating!


----------



## hpowders

Why isn't Mahler more popular among average Americans like the other great classical composers are?


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Why isn't Mahler more popular among average Americans like the other great classical composers are?


Because his music hasn't been used in beef commercials.


----------



## Dim7

*Who's 'Your' Composer?*

Do you own any composer slaves?


----------



## Dim7

Who is the page turner who brings you to tears most often?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> *Who's 'Your' Composer?*
> 
> Do you own any composer slaves?


Simon Lagree Leclair.


----------



## hpowders

Talk Classical Apology page

Hello posters!

Yesterday you may have noticed the site was down for 11 hours.

We needed the time to correctly tally the number of U composer votes in the Favorite U Composer Poll.

The tally is of course confidential, pending the outcomes of all alphabetical composer polls.

Thank you.

Tony, the boss.


----------



## hpowders

Which poster plays his oboe the best?


----------



## hpowders

Which instrument do you love to play with when you find yourself completely alone?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Which instrument do you love to play with when you find yourself completely alone?


Piano for me. I like to practice the fingering...


----------



## hpowders

If you are a TC poster and violinist and you snap your G String (not the E, A or D strings), which TC poster would you PM for a possible replacement?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> If you are a TC poster and violinist and you snap your G String (not the E, A or D strings), which TC poster would you PM for a possible replacement?


Haha, I think I might win this poll! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Piano for me. I like to practice the fingering...


Yes. I hear you are practicing Saint-Saens' _Bach-añal_ (had to defeat the system).


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Haha, I think I might win this poll! :lol:


You could have a "PM full" notice. But that's easily rectumfied.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yes. I hear you are practicing Saint-Saens' _Bach-****._


Yes, **** is my favorite piece. Hey, that gives me an idea for a poll! Which piece is your favorite?

1. ****
2. *****
3. ******
4. Other (please specify your preferred number of asterisks)


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, **** is my favorite piece. Hey, that gives me an idea for a poll! Which piece is your favorite?
> 
> 1. ****
> 2. *****
> 3. ******
> 4. Other (please specify your preferred number of asterisks)


I defeated it with "Bach-añal" Ha! Ha! What a place!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yes. I hear you are practicing Saint-Saens' _Bach-añal_ (had to defeat the system).


That piece is a real pain in the ***


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, **** is my favorite piece. Hey, that gives me an idea for a poll! Which piece is your favorite?
> 
> 1. ****
> 2. *****
> 3. ******
> 4. Other (please specify your preferred number of asterisks)


Just reminds me. I have to watch Dancing with the ****'*.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That piece is a real pain in the ***


Not the way you play it.


----------



## Dim7

hpowders said:


> Which instrument do you love to play with when you find yourself completely alone?


Your favorite solo organ fantasies.

By fantasy I mean of course https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantasia_(music)


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Your favorite solo organ fantasies.
> 
> By fantasy I mean of course https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantasia_(music)


The one in F major, of course.


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Your favorite solo organ fantasies.
> 
> By fantasy I mean of course https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantasia_(music)


I'm practicing a solo fantasy in the key of G (spot) Major.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That piece is a real pain in the ***


Pain in the ear?


----------



## Dim7

What truly makes a great "hip performance" if you know what I mean....


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> What truly makes a great "HIP performance" if you know what I mean....


No, what? Don't be shy, Guy.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Pain in the ear?


Well, I _have _tried putting an ear trumpet in there, in honor of Beethoven...


----------



## hpowders

New valuable book discovered in New Orleans attic. Dated back to 1813.

Anger Management für Allen Menschen, von Ludwig van Beethoven.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Well, I _have _tried putting an ear trumpet in there, in honor of Beethoven...


Oooooh! Getting a bit warm here. The computer must be "over-loaded".


----------



## hpowders

So who makes the best oboe parts?

Post no. 1: I like to get value for my money.


----------



## hpowders

Just taking up the violin.

Post no. 1: So how long must I play this thing to try out for an orchestra concert-master job?; I practice 45 intense minutes a day. Nothing fancy-schmanzy, say the San Francisco Symphony.


----------



## hpowders

Novice here: Should I go see an opera or hear an opera or avoid an opera? Which is better?


----------



## hpowders

Novice here: Is a tone poem without music just a regular poem? 
I have a lot of other good questions too.


----------



## hpowders

Novice here: Is there a standard size chamber for playing chamber music? 
If so, I just want to know why.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Novice here: Is there a standard size chamber for playing chamber music?
> If so, I just want to know why.


You're supposed to sit on a chamber pot when you play chamber music. That's the HIP way to do it.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> You're supposed to sit on a chamber pot when you play chamber music. That's the HIP way to do it.


That stinks. Not the way I envisioned it. So where does the piano fit in?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> That stinks. Not the way I envisioned it. So where does the piano fit in?


Instead of a piano bench, you sit (or s*it) on a chamber pot in front of the piano.


----------



## hpowders

New Posters Emoting Posts Section

Newbie here: I've been lurking here for several years and it seems your STI has much more intelligent posters than the regular forum. You folks should get double the normal post count and Bettina should get three ' cause she's sexy.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> New Posters Emoting Posts Section
> 
> Newbie here: I've been lurking here for several years and it seems your STI has much more intelligent posters than the regular forum. You folks should get double the normal post count and Bettina should get three ' cause she's sexy.


Thanks. Can I get quadruple credit for my x-rated posts?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Instead of a piano bench, you sit (or s*it) on a chamber pot in front of the piano.


What's that? You s-star-it? What's that like a shooting star? In front of the piano? I'm good at shooting my baby grand! I can dig it!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thanks. Can I get quadruple credit for my x-rated posts?


My uncle Tony is boss of all classical forum bosses. All I can do is ask, but he is out on a job in Bayonne, New Jersey.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> What's that? You s-star-it? What's that like a shooting star? In front of the piano? I'm good at shooting my baby grand! I can dig it!


No, you **** in the chamber pot. Wait, the word isn't showing up correctly. I mean, you **** in it. ****, I can't type the word ****!


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here. Joined yesterday. So I guess it's the custom to take an 11 hour siesta from 12 noon to 11PM?
My friends warned me about this forum.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> No, you **** in the chamber pot. Wait, the word isn't showing up correctly. I mean, you **** in it. ****, I can't type the word ****!


You are definitely the winner:Our TC super-star of 2016!! The censor is demanding over-time pay.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Newbie here. Joined yesterday. So I guess it's the custom to take an 11 hour siesta from 12 noon to 11PM?
> My friends warned me about this forum.


Yeah, I'm in my bedroom for many hours a day. I'm not napping, though...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I'm in my bedroom for many hours a day. I'm not napping, though...


Okay. I'll stay. Maybe my friends were wrong. I play the ****** horn by the way; same like my kisses.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Okay. I'll stay. Maybe my friends were wrong. I play the ****** horn by the way; same like my kisses.


Ooh, the horn is a nice instrument! It sounds very horny.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Ooh, the horn is a nice instrument! It sounds very horny.


Especially when it's frenched.


----------



## hpowders

I love the Brahms Piano Quintet in F minor.
I live alone.
I need an arrangement for solo piano.
PM me.


----------



## hpowders

Who's "your" poster?

Post no. 1: Poster most in line with your own personality?

Beethoven, Debussy and Copland already taken.


----------



## hpowders

Composer you would most likely have in a sealed glass box on display, like Lenin.


----------



## hpowders

A wedding dedication.

I hope Notung ever comes between you when you find yourselves in a horizontal position.


----------



## hpowders

Which is better, words or music?
I just want to know why.


----------



## hpowders

TC relationship section

Post no. 1: I'm a ESL guy. Really in love. In a love note is it "I abhor you." or "I adore you". I think it's the first one, but I will wait for reply.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite level-headed posters. List. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

Area 51: Level-Headed Posting Section: by invitation only from the Wagner 24/7, 365 committee.


----------



## hpowders

Berg: Seven Early Posts.

Anyone know where I can pick up a copy?


----------



## hpowders

How much do you hate Schubert?

Post no. 1: I hate Schubert so much, I once bought a scarce ticket to a Broadway show and when I discovered it was playing at the Schubert Theater, I stayed home.


----------



## hpowders

Synchronized TC All-Male Orchestra First Rehearsal!!

"Alright, Men! Lift up your instruments!!!"


----------



## Dim7

An Apple for All Wagnerians


----------



## hpowders

Locked Thread Complaint Tribute Thread:

Rate all the Locky movies from best to worst.

Results tabulated at Balboa Park.

I dare them not to tabulate them!!


----------



## hpowders

When do you love Wagner most of all?

I love Wagner in the Winter when it drizzles,

I love Wagner in the Summer when it sizzles.


----------



## hpowders

Locked Thread Complaint Tribute Thread: Part Dos.

One O' Lock; Two O' Lock; Three O' Lock, Rock!

We're gonna rock around that lock today, YEAH!!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Locked Thread Complaint Tribute Thread: Part Dos.
> 
> One O' Lock; Two O' Lock; Three O' Lock, Rock!
> 
> We're gonna rock around that lock today, YEAH!!


Lock also rhymes with ****


----------



## millionrainbows

Favorite X-rated classical:

Beethoven, "Erotica" symphony

Schoenberg: Transgender Night

Berg: Seven Oily Songs

R. Strauss: Pummpenschnitzellieder

John Cage: For 69 Players

Tchaikovsky: The Ball-buster Suite


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Favorite X-rated classical:
> 
> Beethoven, "Erotica" symphony
> 
> Schoenberg: Transgender Night
> 
> Berg: Seven Oily Songs
> 
> R. Strauss: Pummpenschnitzellieder
> 
> John Cage: For 69 Players
> 
> Tchaikovsky: The Ball-buster Suite


My favorite X-rated book about classical music is "Penetrating Wagner's Ring." I'm not kidding, this is a real book!


----------



## Balthazar

^ You missed one:

Wagner: "Brother-on-Sister Incest will Save the World!!!" (a.k.a. _Der Ring des Nibelungen_)


----------



## Balthazar

Bettina said:


> My favorite X-rated book about classical music is "Penetrating Wagner's Ring." I'm not kidding, this is a real book!


I read that book. It stank to high heaven!

But I found it offered a suspiciously easy entry into Dicky Wag's inner world.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Lock also rhymes with ****


Sock? Jock? Mock? Dock? Lock (enough of that one), Rock?


----------



## hpowders

The Insecure Leave of Absence Thread

I've had enough of this place and I'm leaving and never coming back! Everybody hates me and I hate them right back!

P.S. I'm not sure. I may be back by 4 PM EST on Monday.
Don't take me off your friends' lists.


----------



## millionrainbows

More X-rated classical:

Purcell: Music for the Funeral of QUEEN Mary

Mozart's op. 69

Anybody's op. 69

Wagner: Dildo and Aneas (can I say that?)

Wagner's Ring Threesome

Strauss: Four Last Schlongs

Saint-Saens Symphony in C ("Orgasm")

Air on a G-string (oldie but goodie)

Pachabel's "Cannon" (wink wink)


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Well, I "beat" the system and my Mom by ordering the entire HARD-y Boys series, a great young boy's di¢k-tective series.
> 
> I didn't even need the DICKens to feel "full-filled".


Let's keep this on-topic, about music, not dirty books. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> Let's keep this on-topic, about music, not dirty books. :lol:


Yeah exactly, some wholesome classical music like Varèse of course: _Nocturnal for soprano, male chorus and orchestra, text adapted from The House of Incest by Anaïs Nin _


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

An Appeal to All Wagonerians
Circle your Wagons


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> An Apple for All Wagnerians


Only for the level-headed ones carefully selected by the all-Wagner all the time committee.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mozart versus Butters


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Andre Rieu versus **Andre the Giant*


----------



## mmsbls

Several posts were deleted that violated our Terms of Service:



> Members may not post/blog any messages or insert any images, nor insert URL links to any images or text that are obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented...


Please refrain from overtly sexual posts.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> My favorite X-rated book about classical music is "Penetrating Wagner's Ring." I'm not kidding, this is a real book!


Yeah. I had that book. Years ago my Mom threw it out because it had a hole in it. Too bad. I had matching socks.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Balthazar said:


> I read that book. It stank to high heaven!
> 
> But I found it offered a suspiciously easy entry into Dicky Wag's inner world.


Is that where Tolkien got his inspiration from ???


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is that where Tolkien got his inspiration from ???


Yes, Wagner's operas are hobbit-forming.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> An Apple for All Wagnerians


A Beet for All Beethovenians


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> A Beet for All Beethovenians


A Shoe for All Schubertians


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Celloman said:


> Members are not allowed to own more than one issue of a Callas recording. Do not tempt other members to own more than the permissible number of recordings - to do so is physically unhealthy and illegal in most countries. You have received three infractions for violation of TC rules. Knock it off.


What about wax cylinders, how many can I have????


----------



## hpowders

Albert7 said:


> What we have here is a failure to produce stupidity which means the smart poster is intelligent enough to post stupid things... so we have a lawn mower manual for tuning violins to Bach's cantatas?


This one seems clean. Thank you, Mr. Poster. Hope you come back and visit us sometime.

hpowders
Gentleman


----------



## hpowders

TresPicos said:


> You could go pretty much where you want. But if you post in adjacent threads, you must be a bit careful, so you don't disturb the repair work.


Thank you kind sir for the valuable information. Hope I can read more of your posts sir.

Regards,

hpowders
Gentleman


----------



## hpowders

Why I enjoy TC so much.

Post no. 1: For me, it's because everyone is so well behaved, tolerant of opposing views and courteous to each other.

Another crumpet and some tea? Perhaps a martini, shaken and not stirred? A scone, perhaps?

Sincerely,

hpowders
Gentleman


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

KenOC said:


> It was discussed last year. Here's the opener from the story.
> 
> MOSCOW - Russian researchers have found the complete score to the long-lost Tchaikovsky Bagpipe Concerto in a dusty drawer at the Old Tretyakov gallery, mislabeled as Rap Lyrics of Johann Strauss Jr. They promptly burned the score.


Looks like KenOC was on to some thing here lol


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Balthazar said:


> *Stock Market Gyrations and TC Thread Lockdowns: Correlation or Causation?*


The cause of the GFC finally revealed..............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What about wax cylinders, how many can I have????


I have some QTips. How much wax do you need?

Oops! I hope I didn't ..uhh..."tip" the balance of etiquette expected of a gentleman poster.


----------



## Dedalus

What is the most phallic musical instrument? For research purposes.


----------



## Bettina

Dedalus said:


> What is the most phallic musical instrument? For research purposes.


Basically all wind instruments--bassoon, clarinet, oboe, maybe even the flute. It used to be considered inappropriate for women to play wind instruments...all that sucking and blowing looked too suggestive! :lol:


----------



## Antiquarian

Dedalus said:


> What is the most phallic musical instrument? For research purposes.


I might suggest the Rommelpot or Dutch Foekepot. I hesitate adding a link as it may be against the TOS.


----------



## Razumovskymas

Dim7 said:


> What truly makes a great "hip performance" if you know what I mean....


I think people nowadays pretty much do it the same way as 300 years ago so I don't think it really matters


----------



## Razumovskymas

Bettina said:


> Piano for me. I like to practice the fingering...


In that case, when practicing a piece of music, is your emphasis more on the tension build-up or more the final resolution? :lol:


----------



## Dim7

*Questions with Obvious Answers You've Never Wondered About*

What are classical music related questions that do not puzzle you in the least? I have never wondered about why it has never been a mainstream practice to play percussion instruments with one's head. Because that would be a lot clumsier and also hurt a lot.


----------



## Bettina

Razumovskymas said:


> In that case, when practicing a piece of music, is your emphasis more on the tension build-up or more the final resolution? :lol:


I like to practice pieces with multiple climaxes. I reach one climax (musically speaking, of course ), then I take a short break before I head toward the next climax! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Are there any "pure and simple" TC threads?

1. Yes, the Wagner threads
2. Yes, the X-rated threads
3. No, nothing is pure and simple on TC
4. Other (please explain)


----------



## Dim7

Who is the composer who makes you bleed most often?


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Shaker Songs (Appalachian Spring, Copland)

It's a gift to be simple, it's a gift to be free
Yet on TC I have barely liberty...


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Who is the composer makes you bleed most often?


Historically informed performances make me bleed. It's something about the period instruments...


----------



## Dim7

Bettina said:


> Historically informed performances make me bleed. It's something about the period instruments...


I could see something along those lines coming.


----------



## hpowders

Most interesting boxes encountered by you on TC.


----------



## hpowders

Where do you recommend I go for the best streaming service?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Pure and Simple posters vs. Wagner posters.


----------



## hpowders

Degree of difficulty thread

Post no. 1: Which is tougher: Harvard Medical School entrance committee or TC Wagner pre-requisite knowledge for posting eligibility committee?


----------



## hpowders

How is a tuned piano different from a prepared piano?


----------



## hpowders

Answers you've always wondered about. Be Wagner thread specific.


----------



## hpowders

Latest concerts.

Post no. 1: I went to a Christmas concert that started at 10:30 PM.


----------



## MoonlightSonata

hpowders said:


> How is a tuned piano different from a prepared piano?


Prepared pianos often have small objects stuck to the strings.
Tuned piano tend to have small chunks of tuna making the mechanism all sticky. This makes them quite unreliable, so I would recommend prepared pianos unless you have the time to unstick everything.


----------



## Dim7

Why Didn't Boulez Write Oprah?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Why Didn't Boulez Write Oprah?


Because he was banned from the Grand Ole Opry


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Prepared pianos often have small objects stuck to the strings.
> Tuned piano tend to have small chunks of tuna making the mechanism all sticky. This makes them quite unreliable, so I would recommend prepared pianos unless you have the time to unstick everything.


To tell you the truth, I wasn't really prepared for that answer.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Historically informed performances make me bleed. It's something about the period instruments...


Oooooh! A sly one. Well-done!! :tiphat:


----------



## Dim7

If The Above Poster Was Sold On A Slave Market, How Much Would You Pay To Buy Him/Her At Most?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> If The Above Poster Was Sold On A Slave Market, How Much Would You Pay To Buy Him/Her At Most?


Glad I came ashore.

Twelve Doubloons for him and his slide-rule; an extra eight for his complete library of pithy posts.
So, that's my offer, pure and simple; 20 Doubloons. Not a sixpence more.


----------



## Dim7

Do you ever celebrate the deathdays of your most hated composers?


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Have you ever _caused_ the deathday of your most hated composer?


----------



## hpowders

A concertmaster is defined as a master of his instrument.

Who is your favorite master of his instrument?

I'm really looking for thinking outside the box here.


----------



## hpowders

Bruckner 9th A _Magic Wand _performance.

Debate. Discuss. Don't cuss.


----------



## Bettina

A spin-off on the composer birthday thread: do you ever give presents to dead composers on their birthdays?


----------



## Dim7

Help me in my quest for senility


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Help me in my quest for senility


You don't need any help. You are doing just fine on your own. Senility means wise beyond your years, right?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Do you ever celebrate the death-days of your most hated composers?


Yes. I even made a Czech-Liszt: Bruckner: Done!!

Schubert didn't qualify thanks to his G Major Quartet!

You almost made it, Franzie boy!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Bettina said:


> A spin-off on the composer birthday thread: do you ever give presents to dead composers on their birthdays?


I heard that Philosopher's Stones are good for dead people but when I ask for them at shops, I get some rather odd looks. Honestly, they're meant to be professionals!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> A spin-off on the composer birthday thread: do you ever give presents to dead composers on their birthdays?


Why should I? They never reciprocate! Don't you just hate that?


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Because he was banned from the Grand Ole Opry


If Boulez had advocated the burning-down of the Grand Ole Opry, I dare say I would have agreed.


----------



## millionrainbows

mmsbls said:


> Several posts were deleted that violated our Terms of Service:
> 
> Please refrain from overtly sexual posts.


Wow, those must have been really overt. I missed out…but please don't punish Bettina. I'll take care of that, with my mink whip.


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Wow, those must have been really overt. I missed out…but please don't punish Bettina. I'll take care of that, with my mink whip.


Yeah, I've been a very naughty girl. Come here and give me a cyber-spanking...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I've been a very naughty girl. Come here and give me a cyber-spanking...


Why let yourself be boxed in like that??


----------



## hpowders

Can a mediocre composer be forced to become a great composer through intense water-boarding?


----------



## Dim7

Would atonality have been created if all the naughty atonal composers had been spanked enough in childhood?


----------



## Blancrocher

millionrainbows said:


> Wow, those must have been really overt. I missed out…


If the mods are going to delete some highly interesting material that I haven't seen, I wish they wouldn't announce the fact. I think they should just delete "overtly sexual" material silently so that I'm not left wondering what I've been missing.


----------



## hpowders

TC Composition Contest to celebrate Beethoven's birthday:

Compose the Großest fugue that you can possibly imagine. The ToS will be deliberately suspended for all participants!!!


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Which Composer Would Taste the Best?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which Composer Would Taste the Best?


I think Satie would be best, not so keen on Glass, *Rimsky*-*Korsakov* or *Scriabin*


----------



## Dim7

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which Composer Would Taste the Best?


Any of the birds that Messiaen was influenced by.


----------



## TurnaboutVox

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which Composer Would Taste the Best?


Gioachino "Tournedos" Rossini, perhaps? And there would be plenty to go round, too...


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which Composer Would Taste the Best?


MYerBEER would be tasting good right about this time.


----------



## Bettina

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which Composer Would Taste the Best?


Beet-hoven, if you like beets roasted in the oven. Hey, there's another idea for my Beethoven birthday meal! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Beet-hoven, if you like beets roasted in the oven. Hey, there's another idea for my Beethoven birthday meal! :lol:


Beets getting spanked in cyberspace.....maybe.


----------



## Dim7

Witch composers would cast spells?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Witch composers would cast spells?


Witch Hazel.


----------



## hpowders

Who wrote the best piano sonta?

Susan Sonta-g.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Witch composers would cast spells?


Ludwiccan van *Beethoven*


----------



## hpowders

Interviewing for Secretary of Serious Music!

If interested, drop by the Tower tomorrow between 10-11 AM

This is going to be huge! Believe me!

Thanks.

Donald Trump

Emperor Elect


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Interviewing for Secretary of Nonserious Music!

If interested, drop by the Tower tomorrow between 11-11.15 AM

This is going to be Bigger than huge! Believe it or not!

Thanks.

Donald T Duckrump

Emporium Elect


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Interviewing for Secretary of Nonserious Music!
> 
> If interested, drop by the Tower tomorrow between 11-11.15 AM
> 
> This is going to be Bigger than huge! Believe it or not!
> 
> Thanks.
> 
> Donald T Duckrump
> 
> Emporium Elect


I may be a bit late. I'm polishing my clock at 11:07 AM. Then I need to rub it with a moist sock to finish it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I may be a bit late. I'm polishing my clock at 11:07 AM. Then I need to rub it with a moist sock to finish it.


Thats fine, I'll hold it till 11.14 AM. Should give amble opportunities to polishing your time piece.

Donald Rump

Em purver Elect


----------



## Blancrocher

Is there a genre that you neither like nor hate?


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> Is there a genre that you neither like nor hate?


I'm kinda neutral on the actress _Genre_ Lano.


----------



## hpowders

Adam knew Eve. Any posters on TC you would like to know?


----------



## Dim7

Catastrophic Thread Ideas


----------



## Blancrocher

Who else is bs?


----------



## Scopitone

Wagner's Favorite Shabbos Meals


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Wagner's Favorite Shabbos Meals


Some love potion number 9 left over from Tristan und Isolde to toast the sabbath; gefilte fish, matzoh ball soup and brisket of beef.

Felix Mendelssohn providing the Hebrew prayers.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Catastrophic Thread Ideas


Wagner: Separating his racial writings from his music.


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

The TC awards for 2016

Categories for:

Best Anti-Wagnerian Rant
Best Anti Modern Music Rant
Most Humourless Poster
Most Pretentious Pos(t)er
Best Subtly Sarcastic Comeback
Best Flame War
Most Unoriginal Thread
Best Apologetic for a Composer No-one Else has ever Heard of
Most Harebrained Right-Wing Idea
Most Harebrained Left-Wing Idea
Most Shameless Self-Promotion of a Poster's Own Music

(btw, I posted a piece of mine in the composer's forum yesterday, check it out...)


----------



## Bettina

Retrograde Inversion said:


> The TC awards for 2016
> 
> Categories for:
> 
> Best Anti-Wagnerian Rant
> Best Anti Modern Music Rant
> Most Humourless Poster
> Most Pretentious Pos(t)er
> Best Subtly Sarcastic Comeback
> Best Flame War
> Most Unoriginal Thread
> Best Apologetic for a Composer No-one Else has ever Heard of
> Most Harebrained Right-Wing Idea
> Most Harebrained Left-Wing Idea
> Most Shameless Self-Promotion of a Poster's Own Music
> 
> (btw, I posted a piece of mine in the composer's forum yesterday, check it out...)


Can I add a category for the most X-rated post? I think I might win that one!


----------



## Dim7

Most Satisfying Single Page of a TC Thread, Visually and Dramatically


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Lifetime Award for Posting Often and Saying Nothing


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your favorite activities at 0 Kelvin, could be musical performances or whatever.................


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Will You Be Viewing?


----------



## Pat Fairlea

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favorite activities at 0 Kelvin, could be musical performances or whatever.................


Michael O'Kelvin: Ireland's greatest composer, or just one in a crowded Field?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pat Fairlea said:


> Michael O'Kelvin: Ireland's greatest composer, or just one in a crowded Field?


I'm guessing that was a one dimensional performance..........................................


----------



## hpowders

Announcement: I want their names!!!

Post no.1: Give me the names and phone numbers of all those posters who have admitted they hate Mozart!!


----------



## hpowders

War games: Simple listeners of classical music vs. the over-analyzers!

The war will be fought until there is a clear majority of one or the other opposing camps.

Either we analyze or we simply listen for pleasure.

May God have mercy on our sorry excuse for souls.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Do You Have Opinions or Beliefs?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> War games: Simple listeners of classical music vs. the over-analyzers!
> 
> The war will be fought until there is a clear majority of one or the other opposing camps.
> 
> Either we analyze or we simply listen for pleasure.
> 
> May God have mercy on our sorry excuse for souls.


Let's make it a poll. Does analysis turn you on?

1. Yes, ANALysis is sexy if it's with a hot partner.
2. Yes, labeling chords with Roman numerals gets me in the mood. Come touch my tonic, baby!
3. It kills the mood! Who wants to read Schenker in the bedroom?
4. Other (explain--but don't analyze! :lol


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Let's make it a poll. Does analysis turn you on?
> 
> 1. Yes, ANALysis is sexy if it's with a hot partner.
> 2. Yes, labeling chords with Roman numerals gets me in the mood. Come touch my tonic, baby!
> 3. It kills the mood! Who wants to read Schenker in the bedroom?
> 4. Other (explain--but don't analyze! :lol


All of a sudden I believe I can get into ANALysis. How could I have been so wrong?

Let me get my scores out of the original Brahms Piano Trio No. 1 and the revised version of same.

Wow! The Brahms revision is so much better! 
I'm getting good at this. Before I was kind of flat, now I'm pretty darn sharp at this!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favorite activities at 0 Kelvin, could be musical performances or whatever.................


I had an economics teacher who hated me so much, she would have given me absolute zero for her course if it was allowed.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Announcement: I want their names!!!
> 
> Post no.1: Give me the names and phone numbers of all those posters who have admitted they hate Mozart!!


Trazom 04334 434 3434 455 
Donald Rump 33445 453 4094 895
Donald T Duck 65565 334 5345 778
Zozart 34305 892 3450 236

But don't say I gave you the numbers


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Trazom 04334 434 3434 455
> Donald Rump 33445 453 4094 895
> Donald T Duck 65565 334 5345 778
> Zozart 34305 892 3450 236
> 
> But don't say I gave you the numbers


They will rue the day. Rue the day they will.


----------



## hpowders

MoonlightSonata said:


> Which Composer Would Taste the Best?


Daryl Strawberry.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Wagner newbie
Did he kill Natalie Wood ?

I'm bringing it all back to the beginning again.........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Wagner newbie
> Did he kill Natalie Wood ?
> 
> I'm bringing it all back to the beginning again.........


Ferencsik evidence says he did.


----------



## hpowders

Are there scores that one must study as a music major?

Post no. 1: Sure! 6-5; 3-2; 8-4; 2-1; 6-0.


----------



## Scopitone

The Whether Thread


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Daryl Strawberry.


Like cocaine and groupies?


----------



## hpowders

New show: Should we call it Truth or Consequences; Truth or Entertainment; or Paralysis by Analysis, a skeletal TV guide to music theory.


----------



## Scopitone

Why do people dislike Mozart's Favorite Artists?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> New show: Should we call it Truth or Consequences; Truth or Entertainment; or Paralysis by Analysis, a skeletal TV guide to music theory.


We'd better call it America's Most Wanted, because music theorists are murderers. They kill musical works by analyzing them to death! :lol:

The cops need to go to the universities and round up the music theory professors. They should be sentenced to life in prison for manslaughter...or would it be called sonata-slaughter?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> Like cocaine and groupies?


and The *Sanzini Brothers Return* With The Tibetan Memory Trick...................


----------



## Dim7

The transformative power of Stupid Thread Ideas


----------



## hpowders

Which strange and mysterious Talk Classical posters have you discovered in 2016?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> We'd better call it America's Most Wanted, because music theorists are murderers. They kill musical works by analyzing them to death! :lol:
> 
> The cops need to go to the universities and round up the music theory professors. They should be sentenced to life in prison for manslaughter...or would it be called sonata-slaughter?


You mean I've started a revolution? All from two simple posts?


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Why do people dislike Mozart's Favorite Artists?


I hate Mozart because at every meal he_ Salz_ his ham-_Burg_-ers. Annoying habit.


----------



## hpowders

If a poster changes his avatar, shouldn't any post before the change continue to reflect the avatar the poster had in real time at that particular moment?


----------



## millionrainbows

STI: Insight or Insanity?


----------



## hpowders

Insight: BR

Insanity: AR

Key: *B*efore *R*umcake
*A*fter *R*umcake


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite composer born in 2011 or later.


----------



## hpowders

TC Weight Losing Tips

Watch how people cut pieces of pie.

The obese posters cut a major third.

Well-built posters like myself portion out a minor fifth.

Over the interval of one year, that kind of behavior can make a significant effect on one's weight.


----------



## hpowders

Music guaranteed to stress you.

List your favorites without fear of re-percussion.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> TC Weight Losing Tips
> 
> Watch how people cut pieces of pie.
> 
> The obese posters cut a major third.
> 
> Well-built posters like myself portion out a minor fifth.
> 
> Over the interval of one year, that kind of behavior can make a significant effect on one's weight.


The analytical posters write an essay about the pie before they eat it! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The analytical posters write an essay about the pie before they eat it! :lol:


Why overanalyze the contents of a piece of pie? It's like taking an anatomy class with 100 skeletal bones identified by name. I married a nymphomaniac, not a skeleton!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Why overanalyze the contents of a piece of pie? It's like taking an anatomy class with 100 bones identified by name. I married a nymphomaniac, not a skeleton!


Yeah, the pie-analysts label each separate section of the piece. You should watch them eat a piece of blueberry pie...they label each blueberry with a Roman numeral before they eat it! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, the pie-analysts label each separate section of the piece. You should watch them eat a piece of blueberry pie...they label each blueberry with a Roman numeral before they eat it! :lol:


The worst kind of humanity. Blueberry pie-eating sugar-nymphos.


----------



## hpowders

Questions you were dying to ask on TC:

In an alphabetical contest, should I put Vaughan-Williams into the V composers; W composers; or H composers, for hyphen?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> The worst kind of humanity. Blueberry pie-eating sugar-nymphos.


It's even worse if they're providing philosophical commentary while eating the pie! Have you ever heard someone try to pronounce big philosophical words with a mouthful of blueberries?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> It's even worse if they're providing philosophical commentary while eating the pie! Have you ever heard someone try to pronounce big philosophical words with a mouthful of blueberries?


As long as they are provided with Ideal Napkins with Plato stamped on them. My mind would be wandering anyway. Like visiting folks I have nothing in common with, smiling politely, my mind racing through survival scenarios to pass the time. _An American tragedy_. I hope with the Ideal Napkin you got _Drei-ser._


----------



## Pat Fairlea

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm guessing that was a one dimensional performance..........................................


O'Kelvin was one of the pioneer Entropists.


----------



## millionrainbows

4'33": The Movie. Soundtrack by John Cage. This consists of a blank screen. It has been modified for cinema, now lasting 4 HOURS and 33 minutes. This was due to pressure from the snack-bar lobby.

Popcorn, of course, and for this special opening, mushrooms will also be available.


----------



## hpowders

The Arnold Schwarzenegger TC appreciation thread

Download the complete Edgar Varese now. Free from de Äpp store.


----------



## hpowders

I hope_ Sonta _sends me a good performance of the Liszt _Sonta_ in a few weeks!


----------



## hpowders

The TC Confessions Thread

I read the posts on STI exclusively to avoid the really stupid posts on the main forum.

Is that wrong?


----------



## hpowders

Warning: Posts that are too smart and/or funny will be removed.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: Two questions:

1. If I accidentally leave my CD player on a loop playing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony when I go away for a week, is it still music, even though there is nobody home to listen to it?

2. Will my electric bill go up?


----------



## hpowders

Donald Trump Merry Christmas Tribute Thread

Notice: Anyone saying "Happy Holidays" will be deported! Believe me!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Confessions You've Always Wondered About


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The last thing you did or didn't mate?


----------



## Dim7

Why Dim7 keeps getting stabbed so often? And why he doesn't seem to mind?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Brie vs. Camembert

1. Brie
2. Camembert
3. This is impossible, don't make me cheese!!!


----------



## Blancrocher

*DOUBLE POST - PLEASE DELETE!!!*

Actually, I would like the mods to keep this on the board as a reminder for people to be careful. Thank you.


----------



## Dim7

Your favorite ToS-violations


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Who is the composer who brings you pears most often?


----------



## hpowders

Gym locker cheese

Which cheese smells most like a boys' HS gym locker?


----------



## Balthazar

*Discussion thread for "We Shall Rise Again," a new opera with music and libretto by David Duke.*

In your comments, please refrain from any discussion of the composer's past writings or pronouncements so as to avoid offending the heightened sensibilities of his fans. They're a rum lot.

Also, we're running low on smelling salts, and the mods' "Delete" button is on the fritz.

So what are your thoughts?


----------



## millionrainbows

Balthazar said:


> *Discussion thread for "We Shall Rise Again," a new opera with music and libretto by David Duke.*


In this case, Boulez was right: Burn down the opera house!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Why Dim7 keeps getting stabbed so often? And why he doesn't seem to mind?


Because jms has a sharp implement...................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Wagner newbie
Note reply posters not welcomed


----------



## millionrainbows

Those pizza vouchers might come in real handy in Bayreuth...


----------



## Dim7

Explosions that you love


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Explosions that you love


----------



## hpowders

Best posts from 2011.

Test your verbatim recall!!


----------



## hpowders

Post of the Year: Debate: Truth vs. Entertainment!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Post of the Year: Debate: Explosions vs. Entertainment!


----------



## hpowders

Most memorable post of the decade: "Post deleted"


----------



## hpowders

Post deleted.


----------



## hpowders

Talk Me Down: I'm a masochist.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement: You will be glad to know, moving forward, there are some definite improvements coming to the site.


----------



## hpowders

TC New Poster Welcoming Committee:

f you don't play an instrument yourself, then what are you doing here?


----------



## hpowders

Seriously disturbingly dirty CDs that a cloth cannot clean.


----------



## hpowders

Questions you always wondered about?

Why would anybody say between you and I rather than between you and me? It does nothing to advance the argument going forward.


----------



## Bettina

When was the first major premiere of a dead composer?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> When was the first major premiere of a dead composer?


ZombieZozart...........................


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> When was the first major premiere of a dead composer?


Was he universally loved in his Vlast-span?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

If you don't play, yourself, what do you play?


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Smelly Feet


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Smelly Feet


I like mild, low-fat feet myself. I know. Ma Vlast is no fun.


----------



## hpowders

TC Strong Feelings Department

Write about posters you either adore or abhor.

You are guaranteed not to be ToS'ed into a-ban-donment


----------



## Dim7

Seriously disturbing faces posted in "Post a picture of yourself"


----------



## Dim7

Suspicious Thread Ideas


----------



## hpowders

TC Honesty Thread

Okay. 'Fess up! How many of you have posted pictures of folks who are much better looking than the real you in "Post a picture of yourself".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Country Space Alien or City Space Alien?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Country Space Alien or City Space Alien?


Whoever likes milder cheese; preferably extremely low fat cheddar. That's whom I'm welcoming.


----------



## hpowders

STI rare openings:

We have openings for 2 posters for regular STI work.

Qualifications: 800 combined college board scores.

Stanford or Princeton graduate, ideally majoring in qualitative comique analysis.

Have written at least several published short stories or one published novel.

Submit 1000 word essay (minimum) as to why you would add anything of altruistic value to STI.


----------



## hpowders

I'm a music history major. Did you know that Bruckner taught Wagner all he knew?
I didn't think so.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> STI rare openings:
> 
> We have openings for 2 posters for regular STI work.
> 
> Qualifications: 800 combined college board scores.
> 
> Stanford or Princeton graduate, ideally majoring in qualitative comique analysis.
> 
> Have written at least several published short stories or one published novel.
> 
> Submit 1000 word essay (minimum) as to why you would add anything of altruistic value to STI.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
will a thousand letters do?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How many likes can you do in a day.................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
> will a thousand letters do?


No offense, but I'm putting you on the waiting list. How old are you? So I have some idea of how long you will be waiting.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How many likes can you do in a day.................


A "like" a day keeps the doctor away....especially if you also have contagious, rabid malaria.


----------



## hpowders

I'm enjoying Wagner. What's wrong with me? Talk me down, please!


----------



## hpowders

Talk me down please!!
No special reason. I just like it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> No offense, but I'm putting you on the waiting list. How old are you? So I have some idea of how long you will be waiting.


I''m 4'33" is that old enough and a _Princeford graduate_


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Talk me down please!!
> No special reason. I just like it.


Stand away from Bayreuth, the town is getting scared. Playing Wagner so loud from your PA system is just annoying the crap out of everyone and those Jack Boots are not helping...............


----------



## geralmar

I was chastised on a movie website for giving away the ending of the 1933 King Kong. Shouldn't there be a statute of limitations for movie spoilers?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How many likes can you do in a day.................


I'd like to think about that.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'd like to think about that.


Don't take long the race is on.................


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Overrated Beethoven Symphonies

Which of the nine simply don't make the cut.

Vote for up to nine.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Post of the Year


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite movement from Brahms late solo piano pieces.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The Post of the Year


New York Post. Always tells the truth.


----------



## hpowders

Viewing Attachment

Which posters belong to the same clique.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> New York Post. Always tells the truth.


South Pole post is usually cold or freezing


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Seriously disturbing Pianola roll covers

*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> South Pole post is usually cold or freezing


Sorry. I don't do Pole-ish jokes.


----------



## hpowders

Can one have a serious, lasting musical friendship with a camel?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Can one have a serious, lasting friendship with a camel?


I refuse to answer on the grounds that this may incriminate me...............


----------



## hpowders

Current Listening CMLXXXVII: You know the drill. Same as the other 986.
Posters listing the same CDs time after time just to get "liked" will be flagged with a red dot on their avatars.


----------



## hpowders

The I didn't realize this department

Wagner went to the patent office and applied for a patent for the Tristan Chord.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Current Listening CMLXXXVII: You know the drill. Same as the other 986.
> Posters listing the same CDs time after time just to get "liked" will be flagged with a red dot on their avatars.







Do I get a red dot now.............. thanks


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Do I get a red dot now.............. thanks


We only have 2-3 red dots at this time. Your patience is appreciated.


----------



## hpowders

TC ham thread

Which do you like better, Ockeg-ham or Virginia ham?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> We only have 2-3 red dots at this time. Your patience is appreciated.


I'm gunna complain to the Red Dot Society (RDS), this is clear case of discrimination against red dots ..............
.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Anybody wanna buy some red dots, I've just mmm acquired some, no they didn't fall of the back of the Red truck either.....

Here is a sample be sure not to tell hpowders ssssshhhhh
. . . . . . . . . . . .


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm gunna complain to the Red Dot Society (RDS), this is clear case of discrimination against red dots ..............
> .


We own the red-dot franchise so go ahead, Red!!


----------



## hpowders

CD jewel boxes in need of help

Do you know any CD jewel boxes that are seriously disturbed?


----------



## hpowders

I was offered the second clarinet chair at the Boston Symphony, but I turned it down because I don't play second fiddle to anyone!

Discuss. Debate.


----------



## hpowders

This post has been deleted.


----------



## hpowders

Dance Progress thread

Well, I finished cha-cha; now I'm moving on to the Mompou.


----------



## hpowders

I'm a musical illiterate. Do you think that if I buy a high-end sound system, it will help make up for this deficiency?


----------



## hpowders

Living Alone Thread

Would you rather listen to classical music or play solitaire with a Decaux cards?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Will You Be Viewing "Rogue One hundred"?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your Favorite "VII" List Of Composers


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is there any germs that you don't like or hate?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who was the most frequent guest on the STI Show?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Currently Avoiding Vol IV


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Lesser-known music associated with Presidential Elections


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

Hi! I am a dude living in pagan Russia and I met a wonderful girl on March 15th. I'm afraid I may lose her to that damn Rite of Spring they do here every year. What shall I do? I never have any luck!


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Help needed:
> 
> Hi! I am a dude living in pagan Russia and I met a wonderful girl on March 15th. I'm afraid I may lose her to that damn Rite of Spring they do here every year. What shall I do? I never have any luck!


Usually these pagan rites demand the participant be a virgin.

That might suggest a course of action by which you could save her.


----------



## millionrainbows

multicolored dots:
. . . . . . . . . . . . 
. . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . .


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> multicolored dots:
> . . . . . . . . . . . .
> . . . . . . . . . . . .
> . . . . . . . . . . . .
> . . . . . . . . . . . .


Can I buy some? just don't tell hpowders cause he will get jealous.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Was stating the the last great Yes album was the "Yes Album" on the Yes web site a good idea.............


----------



## Scopitone

Composers you secretly hate but tell everyone you like


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> Composers you secretly hate but tell everyone you like


Come on tell us more.................


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> Composers you secretly hate but tell everyone you like


Wagner, so I can impress my neo-nazi buddies.


----------



## millionrainbows

YES discography

First album: Yes

Second album: Yes Yes

Third album: Yes, Yes, YES!!

Fourth album: Yes, yes, YES, oh God YES!! Right There! YES!!!


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Usually these pagan rites demand the participant be a virgin.
> 
> That might suggest a course of action by which you could save her.


I have no idea what you are talking about. However, I will sit on one of the nearby Russian Steppes-ah here's a comfortable one with lumbar support, so I can spend the time to have you explain it to me. Yes?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Was stating the the last great Yes album was the "Yes Album" on the Yes web site a good idea.............


I don't get it. The Who, Daltry?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Can I buy some? just don't tell hpowders cause he will get jealous.............


Not really. The only thing that would make me jealous is you get appointed to STI mod in residence ahead of me.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Lesser-known music associated with Presidential Elections


Hail to the Emperor


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Who was the most frequent guest on the STI Show?


The mods?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is there any germs that you don't like or hate?


There are friendly bacteria in our digestive tract. Without them, at worst we will die; at best, we will get banned.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> There are friendly bacteria in our digestive tract. Without them, at worst we will die; at best, we will get banned.


You have just called mods "bacteria." Please refrain, or we will digest you.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> The mods?


The Mod Squad - gosh they must be getting on a bit now............... Hi Capt Adam


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The Mod Squad - gosh they must be getting on a bit now............... Hi Capt Adam
> 
> View attachment 90837


What irked me is they always decorated their living rooms with mod-ular furniture.


----------



## hpowders

Why don't rap music fans love opera too?

They should get together with some tea, scones and rifles to talk over their differences.


----------



## hpowders

Excellent Christmas Gifts for music lovers.

Post no. 1: I'm giving my brother two Beethoven Bagatelles.


----------



## Dim7

Composers we keep taking another chance away from


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> I have no idea what you are talking about. However, I will sit on one of the nearby Russian Steppes-ah here's a comfortable one with lumbar support, *so I can spend the time to have you explain it to me.* Yes?


I'm sure one of the mods would be happy to supply the necessary explanation.


----------



## Blancrocher

Why do some composers slow down and then stop at an intersection?


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> Why do some composers slow down and then stop at an intersection?


So they will live to compose another day?

My best guess.


----------



## hpowders

Christmas Gift Poll: Which would you want? Choose only one:

1. Two French Hens 

3. Four Beethoven Bagatelles selected at random from Amazon Prime

4. A Partridge in a Pear Tree

5. Your True Love

6. A Porsche Panamera

7. Five Golden Rings from Tiffanys

8. Two Silver Bells from Michael C. Fina


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Christmas Gift Poll: Which would you want? Choose only one:
> 
> 1. Two French Hens
> 
> 3. Four Beethoven Bagatelles-but only two really good ones
> 
> 4. A Partridge in a Pear Tree
> 
> 5. Your True Love
> 
> 6. A Porsche Panamera
> 
> PS: I didn't say this was going to be easy!


I take a Porsche Panda (little known car made jointly by Porsche and FIAT, I'm sure Santa will know)


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> I'm sure one of the mods would be happy to supply the necessary explanation.


Modular support, eh? Deftly parried. I can see why I'm doomed to be walking around as "Mr." my whole life. I defer to the "Dr.".


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I take a Porsche Panda (little known car made jointly by Porsche and FIAT, I'm sure Santa will know)


Generic Panda $600 FAO Schwarz.

Porsche Panda $ 57,651 Pete's Porsche, Highway Robbery Division. (By appt. only)


----------



## Scopitone

Do most classical music fans not like klezmer?


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Do most classical music fans not like klezmer?


Only the one's who don't play clarinet.

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a professional clarinet reed today.


----------



## hpowders

I used to love playing my $437,651 pipe organ, but now I hate it.
So I _stops_ playing it.


----------



## hpowders

Why do 95 year old composers slow down, stop composing and die?


----------



## hpowders

Are subtitles only for newbies or can anybody use them?
Also, where may I purchase them?


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Are subtitles only for newbies or can anybody use them?
> Also, where may I purchase them?


Have you tried Subway?


----------



## Scopitone

[redacted]

it occurs to me that even though I meant no insult, my chosen "topic" might have been seen as such by a regular poster in this thread


----------



## Dr Johnson

Orchestral discipline.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Have you tried Subway?


The Wagnerites only use the Superway!


----------



## hpowders

Composers we discovered purely by chance and should we keep giving them unlimited chances?


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> The Wagnerites only use the Uberway!


Fixed that for you. :tiphat:


----------



## Scopitone

Best Schubert Lieder for Slow Dancing at a Middle School* Dance






*For you foreigners, "Middle School" covers the ages of about 12-14.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Fixed that for you. :tiphat:


Thanks, but I was looking for the opposite of "Sub" which for me is "Super" as in "Man and Superman" by George Bernard Shaw.

Of course, many cities do have elevated train systems, so they may be called Superways or Uberways, I guess.

I would imagine Wagner lovers prefer the elevated lines and leave the Subways to the rest of us Niebelungen non-believers.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Thanks, but I was looking for the opposite of "Sub" which for me is "Super" as in "Man and Superman" by George Bernard Shaw.
> 
> Of course, many cities do have elevated train systems, so they may be called Superways or Uberways, I guess.
> 
> I would imagine Wagner lovers prefer the elevated lines and leave the Subways to the rest of us Niebelungen non-believers.


I was just making an Ubermensch joke. 

I am given to understand that in England, a "subway" is simply an underground walkway. A train is "the underground".

Oh, Shaw.  I need to watch PYGMALION and MAJOR BARBARA for the 20th time, with the divine Wendy Hiller. (and add in I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING for the trifecta of perfection) Now that is NOT a stupid idea.


----------



## hpowders

Talk Classical Reunion

It's all set!! We will meet at the Activity Stream, Jan 3rd at 11:09 AM, TCST.

Some excellent debates expected. Tea and scones, gratis. Rifles available for rent.


----------



## hpowders

Posters we keep giving another chance

Which posters do you attempt to interact with but eventually give up trying?

Don't worry. ToS suspended for this thread. 12 hour window.


----------



## hpowders

How much inspiration did Beethoven get from the millions of CD sales of his music worldwide?


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> I was just making an Ubermensch joke.
> 
> I am given to understand that in England, a "subway" is simply an underground walkway. A train is "the underground".
> 
> Oh, Shaw.  I need to watch PYGMALION and MAJOR BARBARA for the 20th time, with the divine Wendy Hiller. (and add in I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING for the trifecta of perfection) Now that is NOT a stupid idea.


Yes. Shaw exceeds the boundaries of STI as well as those of the main forum.

Don Juan in Hell. I can relate.


----------



## hpowders

Do you ever celebrate composer wedding anniversaries? Do you keep a calendar? Is there an internet program to help me organize that so I don't miss any?


----------



## hpowders

Late Quartets

Once for my birthday, my mom hired a string quartet and they arrived an hour and 36 minutes after they were supposed to.
We went on Judge Judy and won a case we brought against them.


----------



## hpowders

So, how about this aria? You like? No. DCCCXC:

Whoops. Sorry! It seems we have already covered every aria ever written.


----------



## hpowders

I used to love to play my banjo, but now I've stopped.

My last string snapped 3.5 years ago, if that's relevant.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Talk Classical Reunion
> 
> It's all set!! We will meet at the Activity Stream, Jan 3rd at 11:09 AM, TCST.
> 
> Some excellent debates expected. Tea and scones, gratis. Rifles available for rent.


I find Wagner n Cage jokes work just as well as sometimes even more blood is split............


----------



## Dim7

Technical tissues


----------



## hpowders

Handelian Handkerchiefs


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

heethoven hnot hags


----------



## hpowders

Luciferous Liszt


----------



## hpowders

I used to love playing the clarinet, but now I hate it.
Lost my mouthpiece and reed some years ago....
Coming!!! Sorry. I'm due for my medicine.


----------



## hpowders

Deliquescent Debussy.


----------



## Bettina

Maudlin Mahler.


----------



## hpowders

Let -'er-loose Liszt


----------



## hpowders

Ha!-Ha!- Haydn


----------



## Bettina

Vapid Vivaldi. (Apologies to any Vivaldiphiles!)


----------



## hpowders

Scatterbrain Scarlatti


----------



## hpowders

Migraine Mayaskovsky


----------



## Bettina

Batty Berlioz...


----------



## hpowders

Belching Beethoven


----------



## hpowders

Chintzy Tchaikovsky


----------



## Bettina

Savage Stravinsky


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Savage Stravinsky


What Rite have you to say that...even think that!!!


----------



## hpowders

Message-less Mendelssohn


----------



## Bettina

Wacky Wagner (the W's should be pronounced like V's, in the finest German style!)


----------



## hpowders

Pandering Paganini


----------



## hpowders

Baby-maker Bach


----------



## Bettina

Mischievous Mozart


----------



## hpowders

Brainwashed Bruckner


----------



## hpowders

Beaming Bettina


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Beaming Bettina


Thanks! 

Sticking with the B theme, how about "burn-the-duds" Brahms?


----------



## hpowders

Shattering Chopin


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thanks!
> 
> Sticking with the B theme, how about "burn-the-duds" Brahms?


It was a tossup between Beaming & Beckoning Bettina.


----------



## hpowders

Pragmatic Prokofiev


----------



## Bettina

One-hit Orff (or: one-off Orff)


----------



## hpowders

Yabbering Janecek


----------



## Bettina

Saintly Saint-Saëns


----------



## Bettina

Two opposites:

Bachelor Beethoven

Ladykiller Liszt


----------



## hpowders

Waspy Walton


----------



## hpowders

Elegiac Elgar


----------



## Bettina

Russian Rachmaninoff


----------



## Bettina

Carnivorous Copland (Beef, it's what's for dinner)


----------



## hpowders

Pooped Powders (gives up!!)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vivacious Varese


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Vivacious Varese


How did I overlook that one!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Carnivorous Copland (Beef, it's what's for dinner)


You don't seem like a Beefeater, Ginny.


----------



## Judith

Music to annoy the neighbours with!!

As posted in a previous thread my neighbours woke me up with their arguing, so the next morning I woke them up gently with Tchaikovsky Pathetique and then went for the kill with 1812.

If your neighbours annoyed you, what would you use??


----------



## Bettina

Judith said:


> Music to annoy the neighbours with!!
> 
> As posted in a previous thread my neighbours woke me up with their arguing, so the next morning I woke them up gently with Tchaikovsky Pathetique and then went for the kill with 1829.
> 
> If your neighbours annoyed you, what would you use??


My piano practice sometimes annoys my neighbors. Especially when I play the same section of a Liszt etude over and over again!


----------



## Judith

Bettina said:


> My piano practice sometimes annoys my neighbors. Especially when I play the same section of a Liszt etude over and over again!


Could you send me a recording lol????I meant to put 1812 but keyboard on phone so small that I can't type properly and make mistakes!!


----------



## Dr Johnson

Judith said:


> Music to annoy the neighbours with!!
> 
> As posted in a previous thread my neighbours woke me up with their arguing, so the next morning I woke them up gently with Tchaikovsky Pathetique and then went for the kill with 1812.
> 
> If your neighbours annoyed you, what would you use??


If you have nothing else to hand I recommend this (on repeat):


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> My piano practice sometimes annoys my neighbors. Especially when I play the same section of a Liszt etude over and over again!


I wish you would move around here to bring up the neighborhood's culture a bit.

I have yet to hear any classical music coming from anybody's radio in my community. Mostly rock, country and "talk".

Perhaps if they heard you practice, my neighbors would be inspired to add some classical to their play-Liszts.


----------



## Judith

hpowders said:


> I wish you would move around here to bring up the neighborhood's culture a bit.
> 
> I have yet to hear any classical music coming from anybody's radio in my community. Mostly rock, country and "talk".
> 
> Perhaps if they heard you practice, my neighbors would be inspired to add some classical to their play-Liszts.


I class myself as an aficionado. Don't actually play but adore listening to classical music! What do you play?


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> I class myself as an aficionado. Don't actually play but adore listening to classical music! What do you play?


Hi Judith. I used to play clarinet. I'm like you. I adore listening. Strictly a civilian at this point in my life.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> You don't seem like a Beefeater, Ginny.


Haha, I sometimes do eat a lot of beef, especially when I'm trying to follow a low-carb diet. But I always end up falling off the wagon and binging on pasta!  I'm very unfaithful to good old Dr. Atkins. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Haha, I sometimes do eat a lot of beef, especially when I'm trying to follow a low-carb diet. But I always end up falling off the wagon and binging on pasta!  I'm very unfaithful to good old Dr. Atkins. :lol:


Dr. Atkins is no longer with us. Not making a beef; just dealing with reality, Patty.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement:

Starting January 21st, all piano teachers must apply for licenses and demonstrate teaching ability before certification is issued.

Piano teachers who do not apply will be deported.

We know where you live!

Trump Music Department


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Announcement:
> 
> Starting January 21st, all piano teachers must apply for licenses and demonstrate teaching ability before certification is issued.
> 
> Piano teachers who do not apply will be deported.
> 
> We know where you live!


Haha, I suspect that Trump has bigger fish to fry. But it certainly would be great if he took up this issue!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Haha, I suspect that Trump has bigger fish to fry. But it certainly would be great if he took up this issue!


He plans to make music great again.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dr Johnson said:


> If you have nothing else to hand I recommend this (on repeat):


My neighbours like Prelude to the Afternoon............. its when I play this they get ancy


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> He plans to make music great again.


and build a wall around it, then charge $2.50 hr to listen to it.........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> and build a wall around it, then charge $2.50 hr to listen to it.........


Dang! Hillary would have only charged $1.10, but that money would have gone straight to her Foundation.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Better that than Donald hair stylist, now there is money well spent................


----------



## Vaneyes

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Better that than Donald hair stylist, now there is money well spent................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


>


As designed by NASA


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite month of classical music.


Post no. 1: I will start things off: May.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


>


It's time to make Amériques great again!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> It's time to make Amériques great again!


Too much Density 21.5 I think...................


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Your favorite month of classical music.
> 
> Post no. 1: I will start things off: May.


May is my favorite too, because I love Schumann's song "Im Wunderschönen Monat Mai." Sorry about posting such a serious reply in the STI section!


----------



## SiegendesLicht

Bettina said:


> May is my favorite too, because I love Schumann's song "Im Wunderschönen Monat Mai." Sorry about posting such a serious reply in the STI section!


_Im wunderschönen Monat Mai
kroch Richard Wagner aus dem Ei,
ihm wünschen viele, die ihn lieben,
er wäre besser drin geblieben.._

In the beautiful month of May
Richjard Wagner crawled out of the egg,
and many who love him, wish
he had better remained inside.

The Meister's own birthday poem to himself.


----------



## Bettina

SiegendesLicht said:


> _Im wunderschönen Monat Mai
> kroch Richard Wagner aus dem Ei,
> ihm wünschen viele, die ihn lieben,
> er wäre besser drin geblieben.._
> 
> In the beautiful month of May
> Richjard Wagner crawled out of the egg,
> and many who love him, wish
> he had better remained inside.
> 
> The Meister's own birthday poem to himself.


Wow, this is amazing--Wagner somehow managed to make his poem both poetic and hilarious at the same time! :tiphat: Did he ever set it to music?


----------



## SiegendesLicht

No, I don't think he ever did, or at least he did not write the music down.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> May is my favorite too, because I love Schumann's song "Im Wunderschönen Monat Mai." Sorry about posting such a serious reply in the STI section!


Just one, okay?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> May is my favorite too, because I love Schumann's song "Im Wunderschönen Monat Mai." Sorry about posting such a serious reply in the STI section!


This post is being moved to the main forum where it will be subject to proper dissertational analysis by posters who have done their homework.


----------



## hpowders

Transfigurational qualities of classical music.

Did Larry Talbot's listening to classical music transform him into a werewolf?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> This post is being moved to the main forum where it will be subject to proper dissertational analysis by posters who have done their homework.


Uh-oh, watch out! Some of us might turn Schumann's song into a skeleton! :lol: Schumann's ghost is saying "I wrote a song, not a skeleton!"


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Uh-oh, watch out! Some of us might turn Schumann's song into a skeleton! :lol: Schumann's ghost is saying "I wrote a song, not a skeleton!"


That's _fein _with me!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your favorite millennium of classical music


----------



## hpowders

Promising half-centuries of the future.

Predict which may be the best ones for classical music composing.


----------



## hpowders

What are people doing right?

Inspired by "what sets you off?" I thought we might discuss the good things people do.

Give them credit right here!


----------



## hpowders

Which one of Jupiter's moons most likely has the best composed classical music based on rotation, revolution, atmosphere and temperature?


----------



## hpowders

What literally sets you off?

John Glenn: Rocket thrust.


----------



## Dim7

Tchaikovsky the moron


----------



## hpowders

Collections of music from the Neolithic Age: HIP or modern instruments?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Beethoven, Brahms, Tchaikovsky or Bach?

Post no. 1: Sorry. Unfamiliar with them. Other choices?


----------



## hpowders

Looking to buy the complete works of J.S. Bach, but which set?


----------



## Dim7

Some Mental Suggestions


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Some Mental Suggestions


How much time do you have?


----------



## millionrainbows

*Mahler Without Music: *Shorter Versions of Mahler Symphonies


----------



## hpowders

Newbie Wagner hater on TC: Let's see where this path takes me.


----------



## hpowders

Beginner piano virtuoso

Looking for more challenging monophonic etudes than "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star".


----------



## hpowders

TC Psychology Department

Disturbing polyphonic feelings you still hold to this day, that originated in childhood.


----------



## hpowders

Cold hands and the virtuosos they belong to.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite fortnight for classical music composition.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite classical pieces composed four score and seven years ago.

Mine is the Lincoln Portrait by Aaron Copland.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favorite classical scores composed in pieces from four to seven years ago.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favorite millennium of classical music


For me, 1000 AD-2000 AD. We made a lot of progress. We went from the rack to water-boarding and the music reflects this progress.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> For me, 1000-2000. We made a lot of progress. We went from the rack to water-boarding and the music reflects this progress.


I thought 3500BC to 2500BC was particularly good my favorite Sumerian Symphony comes from this time, nothing like a good double pipe and harp concerto


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I thought 3500BC to 2500BC was particularly good my favorite Sumerian Symphony comes from this time, nothing like a good double pipe and harp concerto


Yes. Performed by the "Cave Dwellers". Too bad they were a bit early for digital recording.


----------



## hpowders

Not sure where I am technically on piano.

Latest pieces I play from memory: Bach Goldberg Variations; Brahms Variations and Fugue on a Theme by Handel; Beethoven's Waldstein Sonata, Ives Concord Sonata and Schumann's Symphonic Etudes.

Advanced intermediate?

Piano studies you can recommend?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Not sure where I am technically on piano.
> 
> Latest pieces I play from memory: Bach Goldberg Variations; Brahms Variations and Fugue on a Theme by Handel; Beethoven's Waldstein Sonata, Ives Concord Sonata and Schumann's Symphonic Etudes.
> 
> Advanced intermediate?


But can you play a walk in the black forest................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> But can you play a walk in the black forest................


A walk in the Black Forest, eh? Only when accompanied by security guard obligato.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yes. Performed by the "Cave Dwellers". Too bad they were a bit early for digital recording.


Yes, and they played it on a bone flute!


----------



## Dim7

Can we report posts just because they are boring?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is the greatest broken string on a violin?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What is the greatest broken string on a violin?


_G_, I'm not sure, _E._

If the string was manufactured a long time ago, say pre-_AD_, then there definitely could be a problem.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Can we report posts just because they are boring?


Please don't. I want this site to remain open, especially the Wagner threads.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Tchaikovsky the moron


So let me get this...ummmm.....straight....

Tchaikovsky was manic-depressive, bouncing around from genius to moron and Bach again?


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite planet for classical music (satellite moons, not eligible).


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven's Violin Concerto sounds better in its zither arrangement. How about you?


----------



## hpowders

Virtual Reality: Mozart vs. Haydn Fight to the Death!

Free from de Äpp store.


----------



## hpowders

Which is the worst?

1. Poll without voting

2. Song without words

3. Coffee ohne schlag


----------



## millionrainbows

Newly discovered Schoenberg work, rejected by him and unpublished: The New Testament, an opera


----------



## hpowders

Favorite composers who devoutly practiced the big three: polytonality, polytheism and polygamy.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Favorite composers who devoutly practiced the big three: polytonality, polytheism and polygamy?


Mormon Buddhist Harry Partch..............................


----------



## hpowders

I read on another thread the theory of a color-blind society.

Wouldn't that produce chaos at intersections with the red, green and yellow traffic lights?

Jus' askin'.


----------



## Scopitone

Both Sarah Jarosz and Hilary Hahn continue to refuse to go out with me, even though they don't know I want them to do so. 

Discuss.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Which is the worst?
> 
> 1. Poll without voting
> 
> 2. Song without words
> 
> 3. Coffee ohne schlag


Work without Hope


----------



## Judith

This maybe daft question but noticed in a lot of concerts on You Tube the guys in the orchestra are wearing bright purple ties. Any reason why?


----------



## Scopitone

Why are there no serious topics suggested in the "Stupid Thread Ideas" thread?


----------



## Dim7

Scopitone said:


> Why are there no serious topics suggested in the "Stupid Thread Ideas" thread?


Because that would be a stupid thing to do.


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Because that would be a stupid thing to do.


And we don't do stupid.

Through our incomparable brilliance, we manufacture the illusion of stupidity.


----------



## hpowders

Judith said:


> This maybe daft question but noticed in a lot of concerts on You Tube the guys in the orchestra are wearing bright purple ties. Any reason why?


Because their favorite movie is "The Color Purple?"


----------



## hpowders

Who taught the Niebelungen slaves to hammer in unison so rhythmically?

THAT'S who I want for my piano teacher!


----------



## hpowders

Which can make one more of an alcoholic? Classical or popular music?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Composers we keep taking another chance away from


Bruckner. Scarlatti. Vivaldi. Bob Dylan.


----------



## hpowders

Are you more of a 3/4 or 6/8 person?


----------



## hpowders

A motion: Abolish "What are you doing right now?" 

Simply let Google Earth handle it.


----------



## Dim7

Mods taking our cutlasses away violate our right to piracy


----------



## hpowders

At last we have reached the final word of our $10,000,000 TC Spelling Bee: Two finalists left:

Here it is:

Spell Hvorostovsky.


----------



## hpowders

Studying prefixes at reform school. 

I mean, how dumb must a hexamoron be?


----------



## hpowders

I'm looking for a piece that's nice, but not too nice; happy, but not too happy.

Hold on. Put the couch there. No I think it will look better over there. No the first place was better.


----------



## hpowders

Expressions that we hate: STI style

Banned again???


----------



## Dim7

The most profound poll ever posted in Talk Classical?


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> If you have nothing else to hand I recommend this (on repeat):


So you are officially going on the record with this?


----------



## Totenfeier

Which composer would ________ be if he weren't himself, and why?


----------



## hpowders

Groups vs. Singles

Which do you praise?


----------



## hpowders

Earliest purchases.


----------



## hpowders

Intelligent Thread Ideas

This thread has had no posts since it was initiated on 10/16/2007.


----------



## hpowders

Subject for Debate: Beethoven was a great composer.

Either concur and argue from that position, or agree and argue from that position.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Both Sarah Jarosz and Hilary Hahn continue to refuse to go out with me, even though they don't know I want them to do so.
> 
> Discuss.


As a survivor of many disasterous relationships, simply collect their photos on CD covers.
No communication problems; no compromises; no noise!

You will thank me in the morning....well, maybe not.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> At last we have reached the final word of our $10,000,000 TC Spelling Bee: Two finalists left:
> 
> Here it is:
> 
> Spell Hvorostovsky.


True confession time: when I first read this post, I honestly thought that you had made up this name as a joke. But today I saw the Hvortostovsky post in the opera section, and I realized that it was a real name! 

Now I'm kicking myself for being stupid...but maybe it's a GOOD thing to be stupid in STI...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> True confession time: when I first read this post, I honestly thought that you had made up this name as a joke. But today I saw the Hvortostovsky post in the opera section, and I realized that it was a real name!
> 
> Now I'm kicking myself for being stupid...but maybe it's a GOOD thing to be stupid in STI...


Don't kick yourself. Just realize in being here on STI, you are among other challenged and challenging posters. :lol:

I always hated this singer for having such a difficult name to spell.


----------



## Dedalus

Worst posts by your favorite posters.

They can't all be zingers.


----------



## hpowders

Anyone know a good church I can attend in Florida to celebrate Cyber-Christmas?


----------



## hpowders

Won't you join me at precisely 12:00 TCST to sing some beautiful cyber-carols?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which is better? Your cyber-life or real life? Vote for no more than two.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Where would you rather be trapped over the holidays?
(Vote for up to four choices)

1. With family

2. With friends

3. Visiting in-laws

4. With my cyber-friends experiencing posting bliss

5. Serving out my three month ban from TC reading "Crime & Punishment"

6. Cleaning up my vocabulary so my posts don't get messed up with "*****" all the time.


----------



## Bettina

Poll: which one do you prefer?

1. Singing
2. Screaming
3. Arguing on TC about singing and screaming


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: which one do you prefer?
> 
> 1. Singing
> 2. Screaming
> 3. Arguing on TC about singing and screaming


I prefer doing other things.


----------



## hpowders

STI Spelling Bee Part Two:

Well, both finalists spelled the last word, correctly.

So to break the tie, the next word on our Liszt:

Khatia Buniatishvili is an astonishing Liszt piano virtuoso.

Spell Buniatishvili.


----------



## Vaneyes

FTD, LTD, or STD?


----------



## hpowders

Do you like my work?

Just composed: Variations & Fugue on Jingle Bells.


----------



## hpowders

Buxtehude vs. his student César Franck: The great pipe organ shootout!


----------



## hpowders

Triangle technique: What does that mean to you?


----------



## hpowders

Can listening to classical music help motivate the workers who will be building our roads under Trump's infrastructure plan?


----------



## hpowders

Can getting America to listen to classical music help make America great again?


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven's Moonlight? Adagio sustenuto or reflected sunlight off our natural satellite?

Which would Beethoven have preferred?


----------



## hpowders

TC Dressmakers Section:

Christmas thread

I use a medium green spool, the color of evergreen. Works well in knitting a seasonal tree.


----------



## hpowders

We've had Mozart vs. Beethoven; Mozart vs. Schoenberg and God knows who else; so let's get this over with, once and for all:

Mozart vs. the Milky Way Galaxy: the Ultimate Mozart Contest, starring Harrison Ford as Mozart; Carrie Fisher as Constanza.


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite orchestras that a complete change of personnel would improve.


----------



## hpowders

How to get hard, really fast:

Go from playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the piano to any of Bach's WTC Preludes (forget about the fugues).


----------



## hpowders

Should the 4 minute "Amen" that signals that Handel's Messiah is finally over be automatically tagged on at the end of every insufferable 6 paragraph dissertation/post on TC as a holiday treat?


----------



## hpowders

He was despised?

Was Handel referring to a certain TC poster or someone else?

Debate.


----------



## hpowders

Petition: I need 200,657 TC posters' names:

We the posters of Talk Classical wish to change the name of Handel's Oratorio, Messiah to The Messiah.

Don't tell me it can't be done. The composer's dead and won't know the difference.....right?


----------



## hpowders

Help me find classical music!

Post no. 1: I seem to have misplaced my CDs. Does TC have a lost and found department?


----------



## hpowders

Newbie ethnic hater here:

Does it help to be intolerant to get the most out of Bruckner's Symphonies?

I'm looking for the perfect musical match.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Newbie ethnic hater here:
> 
> Does it help to be intolerant to get the most out of Bruckner's Symphonies?
> 
> I'm looking for the perfect musical match.


No, but it helps to have a lot of time on your hands, though.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> No, but it helps to have a lot of time on your hands, though.


Warning: Post is not in keeping with STI norms. This post will be moved to the regular forum.


----------



## hpowders

Thanksgiving day is cultivated screaming.

Discuss. Debate.


----------



## hpowders

Handel/Bach, the Dorian Duo vs. Mozart/Beethoven, the Bonn Bombers, tag team wrestling match.

Hollywood Bowl, January 14th. Pay per View. Absolutely no free or cable TV!


----------



## Bettina

Transgenre composers? Which composers wrote in more than one genre, and how did they decide which bathroom to use?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Transgenre composers? Which composers wrote in more than one genre, and how did they decide which bathroom to use?


I believe Genre Wilder appeared in more than one bathroom in his many roles.

Last image I have of him, he was using the family bathroom aboard the Silver Streak.

He died before I could ask him how he chose his bathrooms.


----------



## hpowders

Do wedges across note stems indicate the composer simply wants the performer to have Parkinson's disease?


----------



## hpowders

Early Music

Post no. 1: How early is okay to start blasting my sound system with Wagner's Ring?
Like when the Byrds start singing at dawn?


----------



## millionrainbows

Non-Existent Recordings We'd Like to See:

Orchestral Music of Frank Zappa, orchestrated by Schoenberg

Organ Works of J.S. Bach, played by Virgil Fox through a highly-distorted Hammond B-3 and Leslie

Steve Vai taps Paganini

Evginy Kissin plays Keith Emerson


----------



## hpowders

Tattoos of composers you never thought were tattooed.


----------



## hpowders

Surgical residency open to Alpha Omega Alpha graduates of US Medical Schools.

Two year prestigious program in classical composers' tattoo removal.


----------



## Granate

List of personalities you would lock up in a room until 2016 ends so they don't die Hell C'MON!


----------



## hpowders

Do most lovers of classical music not like French food?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

The next President of the United States: me, obviously.

Who the heck is this Donut Tramp you speak of?


----------



## Bettina

Poll: How quickly will the thread "Your favorite W composers" turn into a Wagner debate?

1. In a few minutes
2. Tomorrow
3. Next week
4. Never. No one on TC ever wants to talk about Wagner. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

TC Singing Lessons Thread

Post no. 1: Of Korsakov helps to clear one's throat before singing Wagner's Liebestod from Tristan und Isolde.


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> The next President of the United States: me, obviously.
> 
> Who the heck is this Donut Tramp you speak of?


Still driving the same old Ford, Theadore?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: How quickly will the thread "Your favorite W composers" turn into a Wagner debate?
> 
> 1. In a few minutes
> 2. Tomorrow
> 3. Next week
> 4. Never. No one on TC ever wants to talk about Wagner. :lol:


Probably before you typed 1/3 of these words out!


----------



## hpowders

That incredibly most satisfying moment when you woke up thinking you would be banned from TC but weren't.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

hpowders said:


> That incredibly most satisfying moment when you woke up thinking you would be banned from TC but weren't.


(Not sarcasm) Me all the time man. I have an irrational fear of getting banned from websites.


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> (Not sarcasm) Me all the time man. I have an irrational fear of getting banned from websites.


It's tough to go to bed after posting, waking up the next day and finding a blocking message that one has been banned from a forum....so I've read from books like Crime & Punishment.

Also stay away from Yuban coffee. Just the name...


----------



## Granate

Bettina said:


> Poll: How quickly will the thread "Your favorite W composers" turn into a Wagner debate?
> 
> 1. In a few minutes
> 2. Tomorrow
> 3. Next week
> 4. Never. No one on TC ever wants to talk about Wagner. :lol:


Why would no one talk about Wieniawski? I choose "Tomorrow"


----------



## Dim7

Anyone Else Agree Church Burning Should Be Illegal?


----------



## hpowders

Feudalistic music of Wagner.

If you want to argue about Wagner, feud away right here!


----------



## hpowders

Melancholics Anonymous

Hello. My name is hpowders. I listen to classical music and unlike my happy friends who blissfully listen to pop music, I am a melancholic.


----------



## hpowders

FourScore&SevenYearsAgo for iPad?


----------



## hpowders

Can I use Raid on notes to get rid of those annoying wedges that grow on them?


----------



## hpowders

The Titanic was better but I prefer the Queen Mary.

Post here the classical music you would take on a long ship trip, Skip.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Why do you NOT like me?


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Why do you NOT like me?


How much time do you have?


----------



## hpowders

Confessions of a linguist:

The first German I ever spoke was "Alma Deutscher?" I got a "Ja!", so I guess I asked the right question.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> How much time do you have?


My bingo game got cancelled so I got some time ...


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> My bingo game got cancelled so I got some time ...


I HATE when that happens!!!


----------



## hpowders

My advisor at Juilliard assigned me to intermediate bagpipe. That's like harder than oboe for an orchestral job, right?


----------



## hpowders

If Beethoven was alive today, what ringtone would he use for his iPhone and how loudly would he set it?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Owl Appreciation Thread*


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> *Owl Appreciation Thread*


Make sure the owner signs an escape claws.


----------



## hpowders

How long did it take you to listen to all 555 Scarlatti Sonatas?

That and heavy gin drinking are my two projects for 2017.


----------



## hpowders

Please critique my voice:

Oh snap! I forgot my cassette.

Anyhow, it's a cross between Jesse Norman (43%), Karen Carpenter (17%) and the rest, Taylor Swift (40%).

PM me. Be honest. I can take constructive criticism.


----------



## SiegendesLicht

Bettina said:


> Poll: How quickly will the thread "Your favorite W composers" turn into a Wagner debate?
> 
> 1. In a few minutes
> 2. Tomorrow
> 3. Next week
> 4. Never. No one on TC ever wants to talk about Wagner. :lol:


But it hasn't. How disappointing!


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> But it hasn't. How disappointing!


I did my best Alberich impersonation to make it happen. I RENOUNCED LOVE!!! And for what?? A few pieces of gold that keep depreciating in value?


----------



## hpowders

Photographs of photographers taking photographs of famous composers.


----------



## hpowders

Cool Future Concerts.

The Outdoor Fairbanks Bowl, a Mahler Symphony marathon. Jan. 17th, 2017

Fairbanks, Alaska

Tickets selling slowly.


----------



## SiegendesLicht

^ Hah! I would attend that one.


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> ^ Hah! I would attend that one.


Bring your hood! :lol::lol:

I'll be the tall dude in the second row, typing to TC on my iPad.

Hope the Fairbanks Bowl has Wi-Fi.


----------



## hpowders

Nature Section: Current Listening

Which has the most calming sound of its downstream water:

Mississippi, Rhine or Ohio River?


----------



## hpowders

Have you ever gotten so drunk that you mixed up your M list of composers with your W list?

Happened last night. No more rum cake for me!


----------



## hpowders

I was listening to a horrible CD of the Brahms Piano Concerto No. 2. I'm thinking as I was listening, the piano could simply B Flat.


----------



## Bettina

Do you have any enemies who listen to classical music? How did you find each other? What pieces and/or composers do you and your enemies argue about?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Why are TC members always so old?


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> Nature Section: Current Listening
> 
> Which has the most calming sound of its downstream water:
> 
> Mississippi, Rhine or Ohio River?


I vote other: the Elbe 

Next post in the same series: which pine forests produce a more harmonious sound: those in the Bavarian Alps or those in the Colorado Rockies? Please, while discussing, refrain from mentioning Hitler and Trump.


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> I vote other: the Elbe
> 
> Next post in the same series: which pine forests produce a more harmonious sound: those in the Bavarian Alps or those in the Colorado Rockies? Please, while discussing, refrain from mentioning Hitler and Trump.


Do you want the thread to last and be your legacy thread?

Then find a way to weave Hitler and Trump into it....Wagner wouldn't hurt either....

As in, "Richard Wagner was walking in the Bavarian Alps, when he stumbled on the concept of the ubermensch."
and "Donald Trump was hiking in the Colorado Rockies when he had a Eureka moment: "Hey, I can talk my way right into this president thing!!".


----------



## hpowders

Do most posters on TC like to actually perform Bach's Cello Suites or simply listen to them?


----------



## hpowders

Melody of the moment:

Wagner Act One Die Walküre


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why are TC members always so old?


Beethoven is older than anybody here. Why listen to anything he has to say?


----------



## hpowders

TC Learn a Language Section

Dutch Treat Language Skills Corporation:

Teacher of the Dutch language, willing to pay half the tuition toward your lessons.


----------



## SiegendesLicht

^ I think I even know where you got that one


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> ^ I think I even know where you got that one


Yes. That shows I read your posts!!!


----------



## SiegendesLicht

^ Oh joy! 

With the knowledge of you reading my posts, I've even made it to the months' top posters :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> ^ Oh joy!
> 
> With the knowledge of you reading my posts, I've even made it to the months' top posters :tiphat:


Well, I think you did that all on your own. I didn't have any influence to bear on the situation.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Franz Schubert was so thin because he usually left his morning bowl of Cheerios Unfinished?


----------



## hpowders

Is it also true that Franz Schubert was so thin because he refused to drink beer from the tavern's glasses?


----------



## hpowders

New Members Association

High new member here.

Anyone on TC selling?


----------



## hpowders

Anyone know where I can get a big box set?

I'm getting bored with the music I already have.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Bruckner made a scene in a famous Linz restaurant because he couldn't decide which version of schnitzel to order?


----------



## Blancrocher

What are your TOP 4 RING recordings?


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> What are your TOP 4 RING recordings?


All four recordings made from from "The Gold and Diamond Source" TV commercials. Good quality rings. Reasonable prices; as they remind me 14 times an hour on cable TV news.


----------



## hpowders

US Secretary of State John Kerry makes speech telling TC conspirators they must cease and desist back to the terms of the TC 1967 ToS peace treaty.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Is it also true that Franz Schubert was so thin because he refused to drink beer from the tavern's glasses?


No, Franz Schubert was so thin because he put his weenie in a bad bun.


----------



## millionrainbows

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Why are TC members always so old?


Why do you ask that? Would you rather be chatting-up a 14-year old girl? :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Do most lovers of classical music not like French food?


No, but most lovers of classical music don't like British food.


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> Poll: How quickly will the thread "Your favorite W composers" turn into a Wagner debate?
> 
> 1. In a few minutes
> 2. Tomorrow
> 3. Next week
> 4. Never. No one on TC ever wants to talk about Wagner. :lol:


Quick save if it does: Hitler might have been Jewish. So it's all OK.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> That incredibly most satisfying moment when you woke up thinking you would be banned from TC but weren't.


Just like with talented actors and musicians with stage fright, it happens to me every time I log on.


----------



## millionrainbows

Non-Existent Recordings We'd Like to See:

Glenn Gould plays Chopin

Shubert's Winterreise, sung by Merle Haggard, with Floyd Kramer, piano

Schoenberg's Pelleas und Mellisande, for solo harmonica: Howard Levy, soloist


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Non-Existent Recordings We'd Like to See:
> 
> Glenn Gould plays Chopin
> 
> Shubert's Winterreise, sung by Merle Haggard, with Floyd Kramer, piano
> 
> Schoenberg's Pelleas und Mellisande, for solo harmonica: Howard Levy, soloist


Great suggestions! Also, Wagner's Ring Cycle arranged for solo kazoo. Performed by a virtuoso kazooist (can't think of any names off the top of my head).


----------



## hpowders

Which is better-a piece prepared for piano or a piece prepared for a prepared piano?


----------



## SiegendesLicht

A question for our German members:

What are the legal consequences of listening to Wagner after midnight at full volume in a well-populated neighborhood of a big city in case the neighbors call the police? Has anyone already made that experience? And will the legal consequences be more serious if one sings along?


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> A question for our German members:
> 
> What are the legal consequences of listening to Wagner after midnight at full volume in a well-populated neighborhood of a big city in case the neighbors call the police? Has anyone already made that experience? And will the legal consequences be more serious if one sings along?


On Saturday night, that would simply be called a party. If the rum cake is good, I might just sing along as in.....
"Notung! Notung! Neidliches Schwert!"


----------



## hpowders

Would Haydn's Clock Symphony be the perfect antidote for Mozart's late symphonies?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

millionrainbows said:


> Why do you ask that? Would you rather be chatting-up a 14-year old girl? :lol:


I am a 15-year old girl.

Also statistically, older people are more likely to die.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Intimidation Thread*

A thread where you try to intimidate other TC members.










I am big and scary. Do not come near me.


----------



## Bettina

Bach vs. Handel. Who could bench press the most weight? To support your answer, please post examples of arias written by both composers.


----------



## hpowders

Interesting boxes

Post no. 1: I just got this glorious cardboard box from Amazon-beautiful brown color; sturdy; not too big or small...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Bach vs. Handel. Who could bench press the most weight? To support your answer, please post examples of arias written by both composers.


Put this on the main forum, it will go on and on for months and it will be determined that Wagner is the ultimate winner.


----------



## hpowders

Anyone here know a German member?

Looking for friendship on TC.


----------



## hpowders

Am I a finisher?

I'm currently bench-pressing 65 kg.

I'm American and don't even know what the heck a kg. is.

Bach would definitely out-bench press Haydn. Not sure about Handel though.


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> Anyone here know a German member?
> 
> Looking for friendship on TC.


Get back with that question in a month


----------



## hpowders

Composers we should give one last, final, terminal, "that's it", "that's enough" chance.

Alfred Pease.

Let's give Pease a chance!!!!


----------



## hpowders

Good looking piano student question:

Post no. 1: I am a uniquely handsome piano student and at my last lesson, my teacher exclaimed "Adoro, pupille!"

I told her I don't do Italian food. Was I wrong?


----------



## Bettina

The year 2017--what do you _not _want to listen to?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> The year 2017--what do you _not _want to listen to?


Mozart

Harry Partch is better


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Mozart
> 
> Harry Partch is better


What about Zozart?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Mozart
> 
> Harry Partch is better


Good! Mail me all your Mozart CDs. I will put them to good use, Leopold.


----------



## hpowders

There better not be any Zozart CDs mixed in or I will be pi$$ed off!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> What about Zozart?


No he's on my good list, so no need to worry hp....

PS I'll rent them out for a fee...........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I'm thinking my favourite genre for 2017 will be Country Hillbilly Baroque Classical Electronica (CHBCE) 
or possibly Country Rap Alternative Progressive 

I stuck between the two, can anyone help only have 14 hours here left to decide.............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> No he's on my good list, so no need to worry hp....
> 
> PS I'll rent them out for a fee...........


You can speak directly to me. No need to make Bettina the "middle man".

I'm quite accessible; available; all ears.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement: As a protest, hpowders will NOT be performing at the Trump inauguration.

The protest came from the event organizers.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Who the heck is "Trump"?!?!?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> You can speak directly to me. No need to make Bettina the "middle man".
> 
> I'm quite accessible; available; all ears.


"middle man" hey- sounds like Pugg syndrome


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm thinking my favourite genre for 2017 will be Country Hillbilly Baroque Classical Electronica (CHBCE)
> or possibly Country Rap Alternative Progressive
> 
> I stuck between the two, can anyone help only have 14 hours here left to decide.............


And your favorite eggs are scrambled. Just a guess.


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Who the heck is "Trump"?!?!?


I told Trump to go to Ford's Theater instead and sit in the presidential balcony and let his personal MD stay home and watch TV that night. Just a hunch.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> And your favorite eggs are scrambled. Just a guess.


Emu of course....................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> "middle man" hey- sounds like Pugg syndrome


Is that serious? Is there a cure?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I told Trump to go to Ford's Theater instead and sit in the presidential balcony.


The latest Mc Burger the McTrump- he would get a bigger audience there too.


----------



## hpowders

Was Wagner old-fashioned during his time and could he bench press more than Vivaldi in his prime?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The latest Mc Burger the McTrump- he would get a bigger audience there too.
> 
> View attachment 91154


I'd vote for that!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> _Is that serious? Is there a cure?_


now that you mention it not sure- don't know where I came up with that one. ****_ syndrome sounds better anyway_


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Is that serious? Is there a cure?


Would I kidd to you...............


----------



## hpowders

As a masochist, which is a favorite:

1. Having an early morning piano lesson with Beethoven's hot stinking breath coming at you over your shoulder.

2. Being a woman out on a date with Tchaikovsky, thanks to E-Harmony.com and their accurate algorithms.

3. Being a first poster from Israel on a Wagner Board.

4. Being censored on TC for simply telling the truth.

5. Allowing Beethoven to win in a bench-pressing contest even though you know you actually won.

6. Waking up one morning to find that TC was bought by Winifred Wagner and converted to all Wagner, all the time.

7. Attempting to post on a Wagner board without the required months of preparation and being singled out for not doing your homework.

Choose up to 5.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> As a masochist, which is a favorite:
> 
> 1. Having an early morning piano lesson with Beethoven breathing down your neck
> 
> 2. Being a woman out on a date with Tchaikovsky, thanks to E-Harmony.com and their accurate algorithms
> 
> 3. Being a first poster from Israel on a Wagner Board
> 
> 4. Being censored on TC for simply telling the truth
> 
> 5. Allowing Beethoven to win in a bench-pressing contest even though you know you actually won
> 
> 6. Waking up one morning to find that TC was bought by Winifred Wagner and converted to all Wagner, all the time.
> 
> Choose up to 5.


6. Waking up one morning to find that TC was bought by Winifred Wagner and converted to all Wagner, all the time. - this one does it for me.

But maybe I would then have a market for my Zagner boxed set collection.......... just have to be on the low down regarding ancestry


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The latest Mc Burger the McTrump- he would get a bigger audience there too.
> 
> View attachment 91154


The Donald McDonald burger...


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Would I kidd to you...............


I don't know Captain, would you Kidd me? Maybe attempting to sell me pirated CDs?


----------



## hpowders

Getting stopped in my tracks quite frequently by the 3 second "like" rule.
Very frustrating. I have other things to do. Other fish to fry. Other eggs to boil. Other posts to delete.
So, is there a way to beat this horrid 3 second "like" rule?
Are there other classical fora, say with 2 seconds or 1 second "like" rules that I might like better?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I don't know Captain, would you Kidd me? Maybe attempting to sell me pirated CDs?


Aye aye matey would you like this here CD's by chance, gottem from Davy Jones...........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Was **Mister Ed A Fine Actor?*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Was **Mister Ed A Fine Actor?*


So your new year's resolution is not to horse around so much?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Aye aye matey would you like this here CD's by chance, gottem from Davy Jones...........
> 
> View attachment 91180
> View attachment 91181


Nah! I prefer to tuna into Chicken of the Sea for my entertainment.


----------



## hpowders

Newly offered: Sixteen week crash course in how to confidently post on a Wagner thread without being ridiculed and told to come back when you've done your homework. This course IS the homework.

Get two crash courses. Simply pay separate postage.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> So your new year's resolution is not to horse around so much?


----------



## David OByrne

www.4'33.com/forum 

I'm not joking


----------



## Pugg

David OByrne said:


> www.4'33.com/forum
> 
> I'm not joking


Server can not be found, now that is hilarious.:lol:


----------



## Dim7

The scientific merit of Hit Me Baby One More Time


----------



## hpowders

A Happy New Year to the STI regulars: Bettina, EdVarese........

It's a very long list and they only give me a minute or so to present, so I'm sorry if I left anyone out. Okay! Okay! I have to get off the **** stage!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite timpani screw:

Which one tightens the skin the best for you?


----------



## Blancrocher

The Historical Significance of 4'33''


----------



## Bettina

Who is your favorite _overrated _composer?


----------



## Dim7

The autistic merit of ~3.141592653589793...



Wikipedia said:


> Isaac Newton used infinite series to compute π to 15 digits, later writing "I am ashamed to tell you to how many figures I carried these computations".


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Who is your favorite _overrated _composer?


BEETHOVEN!!!

Kidding!! Kidding!!! Kidding!!!

Don't box my ears!!!


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite musical version of Patton.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite classical music to play musical chairs by:

1. Mozart Requiem

2. Haydn Creation

3. Beethoven Hammerklavier Sonata

4. Any of the three. The people I play with are professional musical chair players.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> BEETHOVEN!!!
> 
> Kidding!! Kidding!!! Kidding!!!
> 
> Don't box my ears!!!


Beethoven would certainly box your ears if he heard you say that. Luckily for you, he's deaf _and _dead! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Beethoven would certainly box your ears if he heard you say that. Luckily for you, he's deaf _and _dead! :lol:


AND he couldn't find me deep in the heart of cyberspace!! Nyah! Nyah!!


----------



## hpowders

Which TC poster would most inspire you to write a theme and variations masterpiece for solo cello and 13 winds?


----------



## hpowders

Help! Can only listen to the same CD over and over and over!!! 

I really must get a second CD.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

David OByrne said:


> www.4'33.com/forum
> 
> I'm not joking


Even better still

www.cage.4'33/forum


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Does 4'33'' sound better in a vacuum ??


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does 4'33'' sound better in a vacuum ??


I like to vacuum the house while listening to 4'33"...


----------



## hpowders

I hire people to:

1. Vacuum the house.

2. Listen to 4'33".


----------



## hpowders

Arrange the performances in your collection of Brahms' Second Piano Concerto by the sturdiness of their jewel cases.


----------



## hpowders

Would Brahms have been a greater composer if he coulda played excerpts of his works for TC posters to critique?


----------



## hpowders

Would Brahms have been healthier emotionally if he had TC Community Forum experts talk him through his loneliness?


----------



## hpowders

Would Beethoven's Pastorale Symphony have been a greater work if the composer had access to some beautiful stream photos to inspire him from the posters of breathtaking snapshots on Community Forum?


----------



## Bettina

Would Wagner have had a mental breakdown if he had read the TC debates about his operas? Or would he be flattered?


----------



## hpowders

If Mahler was composing today, would he chuck the "child's view of heaven" 4th movement of his Fourth Symphony, as influenced by the new wave of secular humanism spreading through Hollywood, his adopted home?


----------



## Bettina

Would Schubert have avoided getting syphilis if he could have had virtual fun on TC instead?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Would Wagner have had a mental breakdown if he had read the TC debates about his operas? Or would he be flattered?


The Wagner threads may have convinced him to join Liszt at the Abbey.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> The Wagner threads may have convinced him to join Liszt at the Abbey.


Imagine Wagner in Abbey Road............... eeeeek


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Imagine Wagner in Abbey Road............... eeeeek


Tough to avoid stepping on all the Beatles.


----------



## hpowders

Do posters lie, claiming to like Wagner, so they can acquire some instant TC intellectual street cred?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Do posters lie, claiming to like Wagner, so they can acquire some instant TC intellectual street cred?


Does the same go for Mahler ? and how about Spike Jones.................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does the same go for Mahler ? and how about Spike Jones.................


They may simply be cutting off their noses to spike their faces.


----------



## hpowders

Are some posters forcing themselves to be witty so they will be asked to join hpowders' TC cult?


----------



## hpowders

Doesn't it seem that Wagner posters write in imitation of the long, deadly monologues of Wotan in Wagner's Ring?


----------



## hpowders

Do you like this aria?

Hold on! I left it in the office. I'll be back!


----------



## hpowders

Which music is most likely to be found in America's heartland?

1. Mahler 5

2. Brahms 3

3. _Flour_ Song from Madame Butterfly.


----------



## hpowders

My computer's been hacking. How do I give it penicillin? I don't wish to miss one minute on TC.
I have other good questions too.


----------



## hpowders

New Years Day Sale!!!

Wagner's Ring and matching necklace.

Not the Vienna Philharmonic, but still one heck of an ensemble!


----------



## hpowders

Northern California New Members Club: Open to mods, senior and junior members.

Limit:302


----------



## hpowders

Tampa New Members Club:

Limit:12


----------



## hpowders

Donald Trump directive:

Composers may say no more than 100 words about each of their works.
Violators will be deported.


----------



## hpowders

If Chopin had an accurate Seiko Quartz watch, would he have composed the Minute Waltz to last exactly one minute at moderate tempo?


----------



## hpowders

If Tchaikovsky had access to Match.com, might he have met the perfect someone, been happy, and never have composed the Pathetique Symphony?


----------



## hpowders

I think the only composing dude in Vienna back in the late 18th century to have an accurate Seiko quartz watch was Haydn because all his London and Paris symphonies seem to last 25-28 minutes. You can set your clock by them.


----------



## hpowders

Help! I'm being evicted from my flat today, but my klavierstücke!!!


----------



## Bettina

If Tchaikovsky were alive today, would he use nuclear weapons instead of cannons in the 1812 Overture?


----------



## hpowders

What makes you cry?

1. An IRS audit.

2. 6 minutes, 37 seconds after the mid-point of act 2 of Tristan

3. 14 minutes, 87 seconds into the Pettersson 7th Symphony

4. A-peeling a TC 3 month ban while chopping onions.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If Tchaikovsky were alive today, would he use nuclear weapons instead of cannons in the 1812 Overture?


Sounds like "one performance only!!"


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> What makes you cry?
> 
> 1. An IRS audit.
> 
> 2. 6 minutes, 37 seconds after the mid-point of act 2 of Tristan
> 
> 3. 14 minutes, 87 seconds into the Pettersson 7th Symphony
> 
> 4. A-peeling a TC 3 month ban while chopping onions.


Other: a seven-page thread debating the artistic merit of 4'33".


----------



## Bettina

Are there any transgender musicians in the Vienna Philharmonic?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Other: a seven-page thread debating the artistic merit of 4'33".


Oh no! I prefer the "nuclear cannon"!!!

I would really like to complain directly to the "composer"; have a genuine Cage fight!


----------



## hpowders

Important notice:

President Trump resolution no. 137.4:

All transgender people must have reversal surgery within 30 days.

Failure to do so: All non-cooperating transgender people and their bathrooms will be deported.


----------



## Bettina

Help me explore Northern California music.


----------



## Bettina

Which TC members are normal?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Help me explore Northern California music.


A Sacramento Memento; nostalgic, atmospheric suite for bong, weed pipe and wind ensemble performed by the Headshop Chamber Players.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Which TC members are normal?


I know of two, but I can't name them. One is winding his clock...refuses to get a plug-in.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> A Sacramento Memento, nostalgic, atmospheric suite for bong, weed pipe and wind ensemble performed by the Headshop Chamber Players.


LOL! Normal composers write sonatas. Californian composers write so_POT_as. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> LOL! Normal composers write sonatas. Californian composers write so_POT_as. :lol:


Yeah. And Nevada composers can too as of today! Oh! Happy Day!!!


----------



## Bettina

Was Beethoven socially awkward?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Was Beethoven socially awkward?


No. Only when he was with people. He did fine socially, when alone.


----------



## Bettina

Northern California time (AKA Pacific time) is the best! Proof: according to Pacific Time, Pugg's "Happy 2017" post was written at 20:17. :lol:

http://www.talkclassical.com/46941-2017.html


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Northern California time (AKA Pacific time) is the best! Proof: according to Pacific Time, Pugg's "Happy 2017" post was written at 20:17. :lol:
> 
> http://www.talkclassical.com/46941-2017.html


Too cold over there! And you have to wait three hours longer for the ball to drop than EST.

Sydney is the best. They get New Years a day before. Lucky _bastids_!!


----------



## Bettina

The artistic merit of discussing the artistic merit of 4'33"...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Too cold over there! And you have to wait three hours longer for the ball to drop than EST.
> 
> Sydney is the best. They get New Years a day before. Lucky _bastids_!!


Yeah, I beat ya ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha- nothing like livin in the future..........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do You Like To Eat Christmas Trees?


----------



## Bettina

My New Year's resolution: I will never again click on a thread that has 4'33" in the title.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*The results are in for 2016's Favorite TC Composers, surprisingly they share first names for former Yes members*_

Peter Mozart _19 63.33%
Patrick Bach 6 20.00%
Trevor Beethoven 5 16.67%
Geoffrey Debussy 9 30.00%
Billy Stravinsky 4 13.33%
Igor Bruckner 5 16.67%
Tom Bloch 2 6.67%
other 5 116.67%


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Do You Like To Eat Christmas Trees?


How did you know? I thought we are all anonymous. You have Google Earth?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> My New Year's resolution: I will never again click on a thread that has 4'33" in the title.


:lol::lol::lol:

Same with me, except substitute Wagner for 4'33".


----------



## hpowders

Who is your favorite Russian master?

For me it has to be Simonov Legreeivich.

Cracked a whip better than any of my other Russian masters.

Fed me once a day too.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> How did you know? I thought we are all anonymous. You have Google Earth?


Yeah, can see you beavering away - better still I've got my own satellite, a trained Kookaburra in a spacesuit.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do you like Tarts?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Do you like Tarts?


Only the ones that keep their hands off me.


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Your favorite nonexistent symphony

1. Beethoven 10
2. Bruckner 10
3. Brahms 5
4. Cage 4'34"


----------



## hpowders

Inspired by Bettina's fine STI work:

Would Schubert's Unfinished Symphony be a much better work if it was transformed into a nonexistent one?


----------



## Bettina

What are the happiest sounding requiems?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> What are the happiest sounding requiems?


Probably the Fauré!!!


----------



## hpowders

Which members of your friends' list just sit there and do absolutely nothing?


----------



## Bettina

Was Schoenberg tonally awkward?


----------



## hpowders

Wagner's Parsifal vs. Vivaldi's Four Seasons

Which is greater? Which is better? Which is your favorite? Which is number one? Which is higher on Mt. Olympus? Which one has more tempo variations? Which is closer to blasphemy if played in church on Good Friday?


----------



## Bettina

If Beethoven had been able to practice his social skills by posting on TC, would he have been less socially awkward?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If Beethoven had been able to practice his social skills by posting on TC, would he have been less socially awkward?


Only if he's not banned. Banning would most likely cause a severe regression....or is that even possible for one who has no social skills to begin with? Hmmmmmm.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Was Schoenberg tonally awkward?


I wonder if he had a son, would he name him A-Tony?


----------



## Bettina

TC suggestion department:

We have a Saturday Symphony tradition. Why not a Friday Fugue? How about a Thursday Trio?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> TC suggestion department:
> 
> We have a Saturday Symphony tradition. Why not a Friday Fugue? How about a Thursday Trio?


Why not? Because I'm busy on Thursday and Friday. I'm available for Wellington's Wednesday, though. Bring your own potboilers to share.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here. Does greeting the head mod Happy New Year make me less likely to get banned?
Just askin'. I have never lasted more than 8 days on any forum.


----------



## Bettina

I see a lot of threads about "exploring" music. How do I do that? Do I need a compass or GPS?


----------



## hpowders

Help! My new piano is missing all the B Sharp and E Sharp keys.

Man, I hate dragging this back to the Yamaha store!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Newbie here. Does greeting the head mod Happy New Year make me less likely to get banned?
> Just askin'. I have never lasted more than 8 days on any forum.


The mods like it when members use asterisks. You'd better wish the head mod a Ha**y Ne* Y*a*.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The mods like it when members use asterisks. You'd better wish the head mod a Ha**y Ne* Y*a*.


Actually makes sense in Finnish. You just asked for another crumpet.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Actually makes sense in Finnish. You just asked for another crumpet.


Good! Now I know what to say if I ever run into Sibelius...


----------



## hpowders

Anybody know some Great Britten?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Good! Now I know what to say if I ever run into Sibelius...


If you do, my advice is to keep running!!! 

Another alternative below:


----------



## hpowders

I'm having the body of Sibelius exhumed. I'm thinking, maybe I can Finn-agle another symphony out of him.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Anybody know some Great Britten?


Will King Arthur do?


----------



## hpowders

Extroverted funeral marches that can interchangeably be performed at weddings.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Will King Arthur do?


Oh yeah. He woulda been great at the GALA we HAD, SIR.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Well, Marianne was no maid and LANCE got ALOT of Guinevere


----------



## hpowders

I coulda been a contenda!

That was a quote from Salieri, right?


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite musical innuendos.


----------



## hpowders

The don't post a picture of yourself thread.

I hope you aren't going to not post dumb pictures that obviously aren't not you.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> The don't post a picture of yourself thread.
> 
> I hope you aren't going to not post dumb pictures that obviously aren't not you.


Thats me and COAG

Guess which one is which?


----------



## Dedalus

Autistic merits of 4'33"


----------



## Dedalus

Composer and food related puns.

I only have one: Ligeti and meatballs. :-|


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Thats me and COAG
> 
> Guess which one is which?
> 
> View attachment 91220


Was this taken at knight?


----------



## hpowders

Now out: my autobiography:

Ma Vlast with Wagner's Parsifal.
A music listener's lifelong ordeal with Wagner.
433 pages.

At fine bookstores now!


----------



## hpowders

How come when I wrote "post deleted" I got 17 "likes"?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Thats me and COAG
> 
> Guess which one is which?
> 
> View attachment 91220


I have COAG cables hooked up to my TV.


----------



## hpowders

Mug shots of various composers.

Sort them into three piles: recognized, under-recognized and over-recognized.


----------



## hpowders

So what are your intended long-term gaols in posting here on TC?


----------



## hpowders

Do you under-recognize this contemporary of Beethoven?

jpeg.4.33


----------



## hpowders

Two week TC Trip:

Feb. 23rd. 9 AM TCST: Exploring American Music: Grand Canyon, Statue of Liberty, football games, baseball games, piano competitions.


----------



## hpowders

All Points FBI Bulletin: Do you under-recognize this contemporary classical composer?
Armed and possibly dangerous, in a D minor sort of way.

jpeg.k.466


----------



## hpowders

Harmonically awkward composers we continue to keep giving another chance, simply out of charity.


----------



## hpowders

Wednesday Listen: Sachse Torte Violin Concerto in E minor.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Composers who used too many sharps in their music.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Harmonically awkward composers we continue to keep giving another chance, simply out of charity.


I keep on listening to Beethoven because I feel sorry for him. He couldn't write a good melody, his harmonies were awkward, he had no social skills, and he was deaf. The poor sap!

His only redeeming quality is that he was the greatest composer of all time.


----------



## hpowders

I just got Bach's Christmas Oratorio in the mail today. Unfortunately it's nine days late.

I'm willing to sell it cheap. I don't feel like waiting 'til Dec. 25th, 2017 to play it.

PM me.


----------



## hpowders

How come the harpists (male and female) are always doing their nails when I tune in a PBS orchestral performance?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I see a lot of threads about "exploring" music. How do I do that? Do I need a compass or GPS?


Yes. Two words seem to keep TC in business, "poll" and "exploring".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Was this taken at knight?


The Black Knight always wins


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I keep on listening to Beethoven because I feel sorry for him. He couldn't write a good melody, his harmonies were awkward, he had no social skills, and he was deaf. The poor sap!
> 
> His only redeeming quality is that *he was the greatest composer of all time.*


I dunno.....the Vairgnah people might disagree with your last sentence.(Brooklyn pronunciation).

The Vairgnah cult may have you Licht here.


----------



## hpowders

Do you dig this aria? No. 173, 610:

Whoa! Sorry! We have already covered every aria ever written.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The Black Knight always wins











How come the Black Knight is wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs Hockey Jersey?


----------



## hpowders

Which is worse? Being harmonically challenged or harmonically awkward?

For either one, try taking mega doses of Vitamin C. My rhythm and harmony professor at Yale suggested that to me, but he voted for Clinton, so I don't know if he knows what he is doing.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> View attachment 91229
> 
> 
> How come the Black Night is wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs Hockey Jersey?


Because he was just dying for some Aunt Jemima Maple Syrup


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Because he was just dying for some Aunt Jemima Maple Syrup


Not in Canada. Ha! Ha! They wouldn't be caught dead using that. Your Black Knight is a Canadian imposter! They are into "artsy" maple syrups; very complex. They are really good too. Not oppressively sweet like Auntie's. Maple syrups for snobs.

_This was a rare out of character moment on STI for hpowders._


----------



## hpowders

Music that brings conductors the most shoulder tears.

Post no. 1: Fourth Movement of Beethoven's Seventh Symphony gets my vote.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I dunno.....the Vairgnah people might disagree with your last sentence.(Brooklyn pronunciation).
> 
> The Vairgnah cult may have you Licht here.


LOL! Beethoven runs Rings around Ricky Vairgnah!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Not in Canada. Ha! Ha! They wouldn't be caught dead using that. Your Black Knight is a Canadian imposter! They are into "artsy" maple syrups; very complex. They are really good too. Not oppressively sweet like Auntie's. Maple syrups for snobs.
> 
> _This was a rare out of character moment on STI for hpowders._


Just for hpowders, since he likes _Aunt Jemima __so much__..........._


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

What is the thread on TC that has made you cry the greatest number of times?


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Who wrote the worst melodies?

1. Beethoven
2. Wagner
3. Schoenberg
4. Cage


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What time signature is 4'33" ???


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What time signature is 4'33" ???


Its time signature is 33/4.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Its time signature is 33/4.


Thought so


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Its time signature is 33/4.


What about the Jazz version........................


----------



## Bettina

Sting Quartet


----------



## hpowders

What is your signature key?

Mine is the one for my garage door, since I use it so often.

Actually all my keys are important, not A Major deal 4/4 me. (Sorry. I tend to stutter when nervous-first post here!)


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> View attachment 91235
> Sting Quartet


I will make it my beezniz to listen on YouTube: 2,700,372 hits already, so the buzz is apparently quite good.

Thanks, honey.


----------



## hpowders

Going to Mascagni's for some al dente libretti...if anyone cares to join me for lunch.


----------



## hpowders

I was playing a Vivaldi movement and it clocked in at 4'33". You think he was doing a little foreshadowing here?


----------



## hpowders

Battle of the "L"s: Leoncavallo vs. Ligeti.


----------



## hpowders

Ordered CDs. Amazon drone delivered in 4'33".


----------



## Dim7

Newbie Classical Apathist - Let's see where this journey goes...


----------



## hpowders

Help! Help! My baby accidentally Licht my new Das Rheingold CDs. Oh, no. I don't care about the kid. These are my priceless Wagner CDs. What should I do?


----------



## hpowders

Hi! Is this Miss Peregine's Home for Peculiar Children?

Newbie here!


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Which is better-a piece prepared for piano or a piece prepared for a prepared piano?


With John Cage, at least the piano is prepared, even if the composer and audience are not! :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

SiegendesLicht said:


> A question for our German members:
> 
> What are the legal consequences of listening to Wagner after midnight at full volume in a well-populated neighborhood of a big city in case the neighbors call the police? Has anyone already made that experience? And will the legal consequences be more serious if one sings along?


It all depends on if it's a predominantly Jewish neighborhood...


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> I see a lot of threads about "exploring" music. How do I do that? Do I need a compass or GPS?


No; just put your hands on the hot body of modern music!


----------



## hpowders

The best of the 4'33" threads.

Which are the 2-3 highest in quality for a newbie to classical music?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

The most just-right rated composers in history: according to your spouse.


----------



## hpowders

Why is talking about classical music so much more fulfilling than actually being forced to listen to it?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Why is talking about classical music so much better than actually being forced to listen to it?


Honestly, it seems that some posters spend more time talking about non-music than actually listening to it.

On the other hand, here we are in a completely pointless thread.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> The most just-right rated composers in history: according to your spouse.


Goldie Lachs.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Honestly, it seems that some posters spend more time talking about non-music than actually listening to it.
> 
> On the other hand, here we are in a completely pointless thread.


It's not pointless. It's humor. Fun!

For me the Wagner and 4'33" threads are pointless.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> It's not pointless. It's humor. Fun!
> 
> For me the Wagner and 4'33" threads are pointless.


Haha, yes agreed on both.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> The most just-right rated composers in history: according to your spouse.


Would be easier to do a list of who its not................


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Honestly, it seems that some posters spend more time talking about non-music than actually listening to it.
> 
> On the other hand, here we are in a completely pointless thread.


Sanctuary City : San Francisco = Sanctuary Forum : Stupid Thread Ideas


----------



## hpowders

Can 4'33" be played a little faster, say if Public Radio has only 3'50" 'til the hourly newscast?


----------



## hpowders

Okay. It's 4 PM EST, January 4th. Is there any country that still hasn't had their New Year celebration due to a time zone effect?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Okay. It's 4 PM EST, January 4th. Is there any country that still hasn't had their New Year celebration due to a time zone effect?


How about on the international space station or the moon.............

Think Tasmania is still waiting....


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How about on the international space station or the moon.............
> 
> Think Tasmania is still waiting....


I just want to share the joy.


----------



## hpowders

Another just right composer: Tre Bayers.


----------



## millionrainbows

I simply can't stand 4'33", and to prove my point, I'm going to shoot this dog...


----------



## Bettina

If there were a film about the Talk Classical website, who would play you?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The best trombone drool ever?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> If there were a film about the Talk Classical website, who would play you?


Buster Keaton or Harry Partch


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> It's not pointless. It's humor. Fun!
> 
> For me the Wagner and 4'33" threads are pointless.


I agree about the latter. They are... how should I put it... devoid of content, just like the piece in question. The Wagner threads on the other hand - they are my reason for living  As well as the "I am learning German and want advice" posts. Yeay!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If there were a film about the Talk Classical website, who would play you?


Johnny Depp, although I hope he's punctual for rehearsals; I hate un-Depp-end-able leading actors.


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> I agree about the latter. They are... how should I put it... devoid of content, just like the piece in question. The Wagner threads on the other hand - they are my reason for living  As well as the "I am learning German and want advice" posts. Yeay!


No offense to Ed, but I thought this post was by Ed and I was pleasantly surprised at the content....then I noticed it was from SL! :lol:


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> No offense to Ed, but I thought this post was by Ed and I was pleasantly surprised at the content....then I noticed it was from SL! :lol:


These long screen names can be confusing indeed. You can call me _Sieg_ :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> These long screen names can be confusing indeed. You can call me _Sieg_ :tiphat:


Okay, thanks!


----------



## Bettina

PC cadenza question...which cadenzas are the most politically correct?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> PC cadenza question...which cadenzas are the most politically correct?


Was going to say Costanza is the PC cadenza but checking online gave some startling results.......


----------



## Becca

Did the effects of relativistic time dilation when performing 4'33" at the speed of light cause The Big Bang?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Becca said:


> Did the effects of relativistic time dilation when performing 4'33" at the speed of light cause The Big Bang?


Or the Big Note..................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

4'33" the musical, Andrew Lloyd Weber needs a challenge I feel...............


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 4'33" the musical, Andrew Lloyd Weber needs a challenge I feel...............


LOL! As I said in another thread, it could be a sequel to Cats, called "Cats in a Cage."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> LOL! As I said in another thread, it could be a sequel to Cats, called "Cats in a Cage."


The cat with 433 lives


----------



## hpowders

Lost: Allegro non troppo movement.

Please call 716-980-3324.
Last seen: mid-town Tampa.


----------



## hpowders

Your _in_-nermost lusts:

Pigs _in_ a blanket.

Shrimp _in_ a basket.

Cats _in_ a cage.

Ice cream _in _a half-gallon container.

Corned beef _in_ rye bread.

An idea _in_ a stupid thread.

A sincere goodbye _in_ a TC Farewell Forever thread.


----------



## hpowders

Which of the two cadenzas that Beethoven wrote for the first movement of his Piano Concerto No. 4 was the PC one? 
The long one or the shorter one?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Incorporate 4'33" and/or Ring Cycle into every post on TC...............


----------



## hpowders

Bathroom Habits

Do you like to brush your teeth when listening to classical music? How many minutes of brushing do you _Aim_ for?


----------



## Jos

if I play a performance of 4.33 on a vinyl record, are the pops and crackles then an integral part of the work ?


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite part of 4'33".

Please be specific.


----------



## hpowders

Which is better? Khachaturian's Spartacus or Kirk Douglas' Spartacus?

Or perhaps you find both of them _revolting?_


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Bathroom Habits
> 
> Do you like to brush your teeth when listening to classical music? How many minutes of brushing do you _Aim_ for?


4'33''......................


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> 4'33''......................


I was waiting for that!!! :lol:

Wish I wasn't on probation....


----------



## hpowders

Poll: How long would an 11 year old dude named Rubin Tubin last in 6th grade?

1. 4'33"

2. Dead by end of recess

3. His parents changed his name just in time to Arnie Schoenberg

4. Who cares? I have to watch my own classical music loving butt!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I was waiting for that!!! :lol:
> 
> Wish I wasn't on probation....


Does it give you the Ring Cycle of confidence.................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does it give you the Ring Cycle of confidence.................


Yup. I could set my clock by it!!


----------



## Bettina

Breaking news: Khatia Buniatishvili has just delivered a virtuosic performance of 4'33'', performed at a record-breaking speed. 

Shaving two minutes off the usual performance length of this piece, she managed to play the entire work in 2'33"!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Yup. I could set my clock by it!!


4'33" I would guess


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does it give you the Ring Cycle of confidence.................


I set my jeans for "Ring Cycle". Ripped a damn hole right through them!! Now they look like the $240 jeans they sell in Bloomingdales.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Breaking news: Khatia Buniatishvili has just delivered a virtuosic performance of 4'33'', performed at a record-breaking speed.
> 
> Shaving two minutes off the usual performance length of this piece, she managed to play the entire work in 2'33"!!


Funniest post ever on STI. If I ever leave willingly or get arrested for....uhhh...never mind....I am giving you all rights to the "hpowders" franchise. :lol::lol::lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I set my jeans for "Ring Cycle". Ripped a damn whole right through them!!


You can't trust those Wagner Washing Machines, German engineering is not what it used to be- it is Par(t)sifal off all the time..............


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Breaking news: Khatia Buniatishvili has just delivered a virtuosic performance of 4'33'', performed at a record-breaking speed.
> 
> Shaving two minutes off the usual performance length of this piece, she managed to play the entire work in 2'33"!!


Yeah, but not the YouTube performance where she shows she's human.

Even so, I would go for the Arrau performance where he takes a better overall line...6'17".


----------



## hpowders

Stupid Jokes Section:

What books are you currently reading?


----------



## hpowders

Which Rite of Spring should I buy?

Post no. 1; There's a pagan virgin ritual/rite book translated from the Old Russian. All the chants you need are right there.

I'm doing a _rite_ paper on this topic for reform school.


----------



## hpowders

How many times would it take for an under-recognized composer to move up to "recognized"?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What vinyl grooves are you currently reading?


----------



## hpowders

Early Symphonies.

For my eighth birthday my mum hired a chamber orchestra to play Haydn's Surprise Symphony, but instead of a 5 PM start, they began at 4'33" before the hot appetizers began being served. A scandalous afternoon at the castle!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Composers and their "Car" keys...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What vinyl grooves are you currently reading?


I can read 4 33 records at a time


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You can't trust those Wagner Washing Machines, German engineering is not what it used to be- it is Par(t)sifal off all the time..............


I will be staying away from the Ring Cycle. I will use the "deep down dirty/Alberich" cycle instead.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Composers and their "Car" keys...


Now there's a switch!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I will be staying away from the Ring Cycle. I will use the "deep down dirty/Alberich" cycle instead.


I know a good mechanic and he only charges 4.33 an hour..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I can read 4 33 records at a time


I call it a record Ring Cycle


----------



## hpowders

Imagine if 4'33" was a mistake and it should really be 4'37". TC would have to be closed down for 5 months for all the revisions.


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Should Wagner have called his cycle "_The Bling of the Niebelungen_"?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Zozart composed a Ring Cycle that was 4'33" long but he was challenged by Cage to a Zen off and whited out the manuscript before giving it to Cage in disgust!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Zozart composed a Ring Cycle that was 4'33" long but he was challenged by Cage to a Zen off and whited out the manuscript before giving it to Cage in disgust!


Thanks for clarifying!


----------



## Bettina

TC random observation department:

If Wagner had written 4'33", it would be four hours and 33 minutes long.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Zozarts' last composition was titled Wagner in Cage


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Bettina said:


> TC random observation department:
> 
> If Wagner had written 4'33", it would be four hours and 33 minutes long.


And there would have been at least one fat lady in it.


----------



## Bettina

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> And there would have been at least one fat lady in it.


Yeah, it ain't over until the fat lady shuts up!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Bettina said:


> Yeah, it ain't over until the fat lady shuts up!


Does she ever NOT shut up?


----------



## Bettina

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Does she ever NOT shut up?


LOL! Maybe I should say, it don't start until the fat lady shuts up. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> LOL! Maybe I should say, it don't start until the fat lady shuts up. :lol:


Or is put in a Cage


----------



## hpowders

Nightmare Section:

I was brought to the hospital in a coma; got operated on; woke up as a comma; and as such I was trapped forever as a very common punctuation mark within a TC post, forever! Every time somebody clicked a "like" for that post (very loud to me), I would get an excruciating headache.
Nobody could hear my frantic screams!!


----------



## Bettina

It's 4:33 right now (in my time zone, Pacific time). This feels significant...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> It's 4:33 right now (in my time zone, Pacific time). This feels significant...


Another reason for a common frame of reference: TCST.


----------



## hpowders

Which is your favorite Beethoven Sonata?

1. Minute

2. Heroic

3. Diabelli's Moon

4. Unfinished

5. Overdünne

6. D.960


----------



## hpowders

My favorite part of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony is the unfinished part.

Debate. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Zozarts' last composition was titled Wagner in Cage


I'll go if it has a dragon in it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'll go if it has a dragon in it.


Surprisingly, it was a piece composed using tape manipulation on a Nakamichi Dragon...........


----------



## hpowders

I'm working in the registrar's office at Juilliard and this dude Schubert, registered next semester for "basic, non-tedious rhythmic support for chamber music and symphonies." I knew it!!!! I knew it!!!

He came back because last year he started the course but for some reason left his course work unfinished.


----------



## hpowders

Chronic Wagner thread participants: Madmen or Geniuses?


----------



## hpowders

Newbie Here. I'm living in the Talk Classical Condo Village in Oslo. Outdoor pool and outdoor terrace restaurant, with a fine view of all the renowned TC threads. A very congenial, warm atmosphere. Oh look there goes h.......ers, Be.....ina and Ed........ese!! 

Come on over to the Talk Classical Condo Village and we'll slurp some French onion soup together!


----------



## hpowders

Donald Trump Directive 4.33:

All those composing symphonies MUST complete them!!

I'm not wasting my time with unfinished symphonies!

They MUST be really, really big!!!

Violators will be deported without hearings.


----------



## hpowders

Share your life:

Post no. 1: Uhhh.....right now??....maybe not.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Share your Wife:

Post no. 1: Uhhh.....right now??....maybe not.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Share your Wife:
> 
> Post no. 1: Uhhh.....right now??....maybe not.


Be careful what you wish for. She clocked me a few hours ago.


----------



## hpowders

New Donald Trump directive for all American composers:

All new pieces must be heard by my new Make America Great Again Music Committee.

All pieces deemed not in accord with Nationalistic American tendencies, will cause their creators to be deported and all family members will be fired from their jobs.


----------



## hpowders

Donald Trump directive:

Rejoice composers!

No more PC cadenzas.

I campaigned on eliminating PC and draining the swamp.

So I've eliminated PC cadenzas and called Roto-Rooter.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Donald Trump directive:
> 
> Rejoice composers!
> 
> No more PC cadenzas.
> 
> I campaigned on eliminating PC and draining the swamp.
> 
> So I've eliminated PC cadenzas and called Roto-Rooter.


Are VC cadenzas allowed?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Are VC cadenzas allowed?


Only in previously composed Brahms' Double Concertos under the "composer exempt through death" waiver.


----------



## hpowders

Which TV Series are you watching?

Post No 1: Come on man! That's highly personal! Jeez!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

New Donald Trump directive for all American composers:

All new pieces must be heard by my new Make Russia Great Again Music Committee.

All pieces deemed not in accord with Nationalistic Russian tendencies, will cause their creators to be deported and all family members will be fired from their jobs.


----------



## Blancrocher

Discussion thread for possible 4'33''-related thread ideas.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Random Poll #1










Likes:* 1111112*


*Poll: Which piece do you like the most?*




 4'33"
4'33"
4'33"
4'33"- Mendelssohn
4'33"- Sculhoff
4'33"- Bizet
4'33"- Guarnieri
4'33"- Mussorgsky
4'33"- Saint-Saens
4'33"
4'33"- Bach
4'33"- Tabakov
4'33"- Handel
4'33"- Beethoven
4'33"- Sach

View Poll Results


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Random Poll #1
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Likes:* 1111112*
> 
> 
> *Poll: Which piece do you like the most?*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 4'33"
> 4'33"
> 4'33"
> 4'33"- Mendelssohn
> 4'33"- Sculhoff
> 4'33"- Bizet
> 4'33"- Guarnieri
> 4'33"- Mussorgsky
> 4'33"- Saint-Saens
> 4'33"
> 4'33"- Bach
> 4'33"- Tabakov
> 4'33"- Handel
> 4'33"- Beethoven
> 4'33"- Sach
> 
> View Poll Results


I like Beethoven's 4'33", subtitled "Sonata by a Deaf Composer for a Deaf Audience."


----------



## 433

Bettina said:


> I like Beethoven's 4'33", subtitled "Sonata by a Deaf Composer for a Deaf Audience."


By the power of Queen Elizabeth II, I appoint you the new prime minister


----------



## hpowders

433 said:


> By the power of Queen Elizabeth II, I appoint you the new prime minister


Can you put this in writing addressed to hpowders? My brother doesn't believe me.


----------



## hpowders

The Final Showdown:

4'33" vs. Bach's Solo Violin Chaconne

The final truth!


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Should posts be required to contain a number of words equal to their poster's post count?


----------



## hpowders

Everybody loves a big organ.

Debate. Discuss.


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

How much time do you spend on this site searching for old flame wars?


----------



## omega

POLL: Schubert's Eight:

1-_Untitled_
2-_Untitled as well_


----------



## Dim7

Please critique my vice!!


----------



## hpowders

Popular posters who have spent time in jail.


----------



## hpowders

If you care about the preservation of the three movement piano concerto and the proportion of the music of Brahms, please sign this petition:

We, the undersigned, have filed a class action lawsuit against the Brahms estate to eliminate the second movement of the Brahms Piano Concerto No. 2. The movement ruins the structure of the work and is anti-climatical coming as a passionate allegro movement right after an already opening allegro.

The caring proponents of the music of Brahms:
(sign below)

hpowders



Eduard Hanslick and Sons, Attorneys, 4 to the bar.


----------



## hpowders

I bought a lefty violin, but after Hillary Clinton lost, it got all squeaky and refused to play for me.


----------



## hpowders

Are Christians with anti-semitic tendencies more likely to hate Jews after listening to Bach's St. Mathew Passion?

PS: I hope I get an answer soon and that this isn't a controversial thread that goes on and on for months.


----------



## hpowders

Your impressions of Debussy.


----------



## hpowders

Looking for a fortepiano performance of the Liszt B minor Sonata.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Your impressions of Debussy.


I can't make up my mind about composers of his _estampe._


----------



## Dim7

Favorite romantic lies from opera


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> I can't make up my mind about composers of his _estampe._


As long as you don't Faun over him, you will be okay.


----------



## hpowders

I bought a washing machine a month ago and when it finishes a wash, it plays Die Forelle by Schubert, which I hate.
I dread this.

What will I do? What will I do?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> View attachment 91291
> 
> 
> Everybody loves a big organ.
> 
> Debate. Discuss.


It might be big but can it play 4'33".......................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I bought a washing machine a month ago and when it finishes a wash, it plays Die Forelle by Schubert, which I hate.
> I dread this.
> 
> What will I do? What will I do?


Do Par(t)sifal of this one too, you will have to choose a different classical washing machine shop.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Please critique my vice!!


As long as you put the sword to good use, I guess its ok............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite asses/assesses


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> It might be big but can it play 4'33".......................


Well, on the organ I can accomplish quite a lot in 4'33".

I can time it accurately on my clock.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Do Par(t)sifal of this one too, you will have to choose a different classical washing machine shop.............


It's a Samsung. Why oh why has western classical music spread to Japan?

They couldn't have picked anything that I hate more than Die Forelle.

Why not some excerpt from Appalachian Spring.

It just confirms that I am in hell and everything in my environment, living and inert have been calibrated to work against me.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> It might be big but can it play 4'33".......................


If I put the pedal to the metal.


----------



## hpowders

My brother's teacher's name is Ignaz Pleyel. He is about to meet his first 5th grade class. I gave him a fiberglass football helmet to wear for his own protection, the first time he turns his back on his "students" to write on the board.

Luckily the student, Rubin Tubin will be there sitting in front, to absorb maybe 43.3% of the punishment.

Debate. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

Composers who have written some of their most inspired compositions in reform school.


----------



## hpowders

Posters who have never been to Canada and like classical music.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Donald Trump Presidential office

Seeking a Conductor/ Musical Director

Fancy unlimited first-class travel on the private company jet? High performance coaching from the likes of Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg? A personalised wellness package with an international trainer of your choice? Or a corner-appointed office stocked like a celebrity diva's dressing room? 
Then this is the Job for you, required duties included Conducting performances of 4'33" at Press Conferences and Tax office meetings..........*


----------



## Bettina

We've already had several threads about our listening goals for 2017. Now it's time to think further ahead. What pieces do you want to hear in 2027?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> We've already had several threads about our listening goals for 2017. Now it's time to think further ahead. What pieces do you want to hear in 2027?


Perhaps an even more comprehensive Maria Callas collection, with improved diction.


----------



## hpowders

Is Maria Callas the best singer ever in the Milky Way Galaxy (not counting Johnny Mathis)?


----------



## hpowders

Which is more of a science, climate change or music theory?


----------



## hpowders

Bel canto Beethoven. 

List your favorite piano sonata examples.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Which is more of a science, climate change or music theory?


Both of them are scientific. You can use music theory to measure the intervals between the glaciers...


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Bel canto Beethoven.
> 
> List your favorite piano sonata examples.


The Hammerklavier fugue. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

I just finished winding my clock. Ironically it took exactly 4'33".

It seems that 4'33" may be one of the universe's physical constants.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The Hammerklavier fugue. :lol:


Oh come now. You say lullaby, it's Brahms.

Say Bel Canto, it's Hammerklavier fugue.

Same old. Same old.

There MUST be another example!


----------



## hpowders

New discovery!

Maria Callas scat singing Beethoven's Hammerklavier fugue. 

In restored digital mono.


----------



## hpowders

Joan Sutherland, finally available. Her greatest performance, singing Liszt's Sonata in B minor! Only her diction is a bit suspect, but her pitches are to die for.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Joan Sutherland, finally available. Her greatest performance, singing Liszt's Sonata in B minor! Only her diction is a bit suspect, but her pitches are to die for.


Bonus track: Joan Sutherland performs 4'33". Excellent diction and pitch control!


----------



## hpowders

Donald Trump directive:

Beginning on January 21st, anyone caught playing Liszt's B minor Piano Sonata faster than my third year piano student daughter Ivanka, will be deported and their Steinways will be rewired to sound like Yamahas.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Bonus track: Joan Sutherland performs 4'33". Excellent diction and pitch control!


Her admirers were so in awe, you could hear a pin drop.


----------



## hpowders

I hear Donald Sutherland is changing his name to Donald Sinatra simply for the diction.


----------



## hpowders

I hear the comedian Charlie Callas is changing his name to Charlie Seinfeld because he can't even begin to sing Norma.


----------



## hpowders

Sorry, Allan Pettersson. I listened to your 7th symphony and I didn't commit suicide.

Don't blame yourself.

It's not you. It's me.


----------



## Bettina

Sorry, Scriabin. I listened to your (unfinished) Mysterium and the world didn't end.

Don't blame yourself.

It's not you. It's God.


----------



## hpowders

After listening to Petterson's 7th Symphony, I turned to Tchaikovsky's Pathetique for comic relief.


----------



## hpowders

Sorry Scriabin. After many valiant attempts, I have never made it to the end of your Poem of Ecstasy, awake.

It's not me. It is definitely you!!!


----------



## Bettina

Sorry, Vivaldi. I have not made it through all 600 of your concertos.

Don't blame yourself. But don't blame me either!!


----------



## Bettina

Sorry, Liszt. When I perform your Transcendental Etudes, they become Transcendentally Slow Etudes.


----------



## hpowders

Has this happened to anybody?

I go to hear Wagner's Ring and I'm hoping maybe this time I won't get the frequent 37 minute recaps of previous events by Wotan and when I go to hear Tristan, just this once, the depressing King Marke may have died already before his long dreary monologue.

Ahhh. Who am I kidding?

Debate. Discuss the disgust.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Sorry, Liszt. When I perform your Transcendental Etudes, they become Transcendentally Slow Etudes.


I'm sure they are fine.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Has this happened to anybody?
> 
> I go to hear Wagner's Ring and I'm hoping maybe this time I won't get the frequent 37 minute recaps of previous events by Wotan and when I go to hear Tristan, just this once, the depressing King Marke may have died already before his long dreary monologue.
> 
> Ahhh. Who am I kidding?
> 
> Debate. Discuss the disgust.


Whenever I watch Parsifal, I hope that he might forget to shoot the swan. Then none of the other annoying things would have to happen!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Sorry, Vivaldi. I have not made it through all 600 of your concertos.
> 
> Don't blame yourself. But don't blame me either!!


:lol::lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

Scriabin's Poem of Ecstasy has been selected in place of waterboarding to extract information from our most dangerous captives. Prisoners will be tied down in a Lazy Boy Recliner and be forced to listen to a continuous loop of this, the most boring piece of music ever composed. Hopefully, they will give up the information before death sets in.

From Donald Trump: "I know it's extremely cruel, but we must get the secrets these fiends are hiding. It could save lives."


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Whenever I watch Parsifal, I hope that he might forget to shoot the swan. Then none of the other annoying things would have to happen!


I watch Parsifal for the Prelude to Act One and the Gurnemanz monologue, also from Act One. After that, I could go home.


----------



## hpowders

Donald Trump will be singing on inauguration day to the tune, "New York, New York":

Start spreading the news,
I'll be emperor today
And you can be a part of it, US....US....
And if you won't be here
It's because you'll be deported there...
I'll be watching you, US.....US....


----------



## hpowders

A prole do bebê. No more than 4 teaspoonfuls per day. Contains codeine. Do not administer when driving. Do not take when driving. Do not even think of taking it when driving. Do not even think of administering it when driving. 
Do not drop on the floor. It's expensive.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

You know we have only got another 117 pages to go..............


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You know we have only got another 117 pages to go..............


When this thread reaches 1,000 pages, should we start a new STI thread Vol. 2?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Good idea, Vol2 when STI gets to 1000 pages or TC implodes..........


----------



## hpowders

Favorite composers who spent time in an insane asylum, thus freeing up their women for other suiters, but the suiters got scared and did nothing about it.


----------



## hpowders

Wagner's anti-semitism.

Newbie here: Did you know Wagner published anti-semitic writings? I would like to see a complete ban on his music.
What do you think?

I want to see a world where the powers of darkness are completely Licht.


----------



## hpowders

Hello from Alpha Centauri!

Your music is so different from ours! The only music that doesn't sound strange to my five ears is something called 4'33". Have you heard this? Very moving and out of this world!


----------



## hpowders

Excerpt from "Antonio Vivaldi, My Life in Music: 600 concertos, 600 pages"

Translated from the Italian: "You know, it was the strangest thing....when I began composing my 433rd concerto, I felt a presence, as if I was not alone...the presence's bad breath upon me, causing me to flinch and nauseate...."


----------



## hpowders

Favorite part of Handel's Messiah.

Hossana! Hossana!

Kyrie excelsis....

Both tied for favorite.


----------



## hpowders

Why did Handel compose Messiah when we already had Bach's B minor Mass and Liszt's B minor Sonata?


----------



## hpowders

What if an agnostic composer composes a religious work...is that...like a sin?


----------



## Bettina

Final round of the "Miss Piano" beauty pageant: the swimsuit competition.

Each contestant will perform Liszt's Sonata in Bikini Minor.

The top two contestants are Khatia Buniatishvili and Yuja Wang. Who gets your vote?


----------



## hpowders

TC Cyber-warner: never be embarrassed by responding to dead people's posts.

For $12 a month, you will see an ! whenever you are viewing an obsolete post.


----------



## hpowders

TC Mod-Warner:

For $37 a month you will see a ! whenever a mod is breathing down your neck and NOT with the intent to compliment you.

Works with Norton Anti-virus protection.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Final round of the "Miss Piano" beauty pageant: the swimsuit competition.
> 
> Each contestant will perform Liszt's Sonata in Bikini Minor.
> 
> The top two contestants are Khatia Buniatishvili and Yuja Wang. Who gets your vote?


I'll tell you tomorrow between 12:15PM and 12:30PM EST...the only free time I have coming up.


----------



## hpowders

So which is better? The best piece of music by Bach or the best piece of music by Handel?

So that would be the ultimate best-est?

So Mozart isn't as best-est?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> So which is better? The best piece of music by Bach or the best piece of music by Handel?
> 
> So that would be the ultimate best-est?
> 
> So Mozart isn't as best-est?


The best piece ever written is Bachdel's Well-Tempered Messiah.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The best piece ever written is Bachdel's Well-Tempered Messiah.


I looked on Amazon and couldn't find it. Is it out of print? It seems they should at least have a used copy in good condition of the ultimate bestest ever by Bachdel.

I wouldn't buy it if I also had to pay shipping and Handeling.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The best piece ever written is Bachdel's Well-Tempered Messiah.


According to the way he treated the money changers at the temple, I don't think the Messiah was so well-tempered.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I looked on Amazon and couldn't find it? Is it out of print? It seems they should at least have a used copy in good condition of the ultimate bestest ever by Bachdel.


Nobody has ever been able to record this work, because the score no longer exists. It was destroyed by worms in 1759.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> According to the way he treated the money changers at the temple, I don't think the Messiah was so well-tempered.


Actually, he was extremely well-tempered. He had 12 disciples, one for each key.


----------



## hpowders

List your favorite well-tempered posters. Try and find some posts they reacted to, where they got just a little upset.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Actually, he was extremely well-tempered. He had 12 disciples, one for each key.


Yeah. Quite a few minor disciples looking to move up an interval or two.


----------



## hpowders

Quite a nice Sunday coming up:

Comparing seven different Titurel agony monologues from Parsifal followed by seven recordings of King Marke reproachment monologues from Tristan.

So psyched!!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Quite a nice Sunday coming up:
> 
> Comparing seven different Titurel agony monologues from Parsifal followed by seven recordings of King Marke reproachment monologues from Tristan.
> 
> So psyched!!


I'll be comparing seven different recordings of 4'33". I wonder which version has the most melodious coughs and rustles...


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: Greatest piece of classical music written on this planet?
I might as well listen to the bestest.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'll be comparing seven different recordings of 4'33". I wonder which version has the most melodious coughs and rustles...


I heard that the mono recording is just as fine as the six stereo versions.

I stopped going to concerts because of the melodious coughs and rustles. I almost got the impression that many people were dragged there against their will.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Let's play a game:
> 
> Lakmé!
> 
> Simon says Lakmé.
> 
> Lakmé!
> 
> Sorry. You're out. Better luck next time.


Hey, I want to play too! Don't Lakmé out of the game!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hey, I want to play too! Don't Lakmé out of the game!


Ha! Ha! I already cyber-burned that post.

Lakmé out? Of course. Don't you know when you've been Licht?


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here. How come no cellos in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade? Disappointed.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Newbie here: Greatest piece of classical music written on this planet?
> I might as well listen to the bestest.


The greatest piece of music written on the planets is Holst's suite "The Planets."


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The greatest piece of music written on the planets is Holst's suite "The Planets."


I heard it and didn't like it. That's the bestest? It sounded like the planets belonged to the British Empire.


----------



## Dim7

Deleted. .


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Dim7 said:


> Deleted. .


Too lame? Isn't lame the point of this?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Deleted. .


Enjoyed it.


----------



## hpowders

Suggestion Department:

Please label your "Vienna New Years Concert" thread specifically by year to identify it.

I'm sure the 2018 New Years concert will be posted while people are still contributing to all the nuances, rustling and coughing from the 2017 New Years Concert.

This way confusion can be avoided.

Also, we don't want 2017 posters worming their way into the 2018 thread.


----------



## hpowders

What are you doing right this moment?

12:15PM Sunday afternoon:

All alone. Time to blast the organ!!!


----------



## hpowders

The Antonio Vivaldi Appreciation Thread.

Sponsored by your US Public Classical Radio Stations


----------



## hpowders

Did Handel compose Messiah after first consulting with the Diet of Worms?


----------



## hpowders

Maria Callas vs. Ezio Pinza

Which is the better Don Giovanni?


----------



## Retrograde Inversion

Fake Music News Thread

Gergiev Caught Smiling on Camera

Boulez Cultists Claim Responsibility for Opera House Arson

Glass Changes Key

Scientists Announce Discovery of Atonality Appreciation Gene


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Deleted. .


Secrets Revealed.............

now its time for an ad from our sponsor

tune in next time .... for secrets revealed!


----------



## hpowders

If I was to undergo brain surgery and the surgeon was so intrigued by 4'33" as the background music, that he lost concentration and destroyed my brain's classical music posting center, would I then be doomed to sit around all day, imitating the sounds of birds?


----------



## hpowders

Am I the only one who doesn't like 4'33"? An existential question.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Am I the only one who doesn't like 4'33"? An existential question.


You're the only one who has the courage to admit it.


----------



## hpowders

TC Rumor Mill

They may be trying to move STI. Don't worry. There IS a place for us!!!


----------



## hpowders

Which would you rather have operate near the posting center for classical music in your brain?

1. A surgeon with an MD degree and a 7 year surgical residency?

2. A family MD with "STI poster" proudly listed on his resumé?

Take your time.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> You're the only one who has the courage to admit it.


Congrats. on 500 posts; the usual pre-requisite for elective brain surgery.


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

"Shostakovitch: Dastardly Russian Turncoat!"


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Congrats. on 500 posts; the usual pre-requisite for elective brain surgery.


Thanks!  If STI posts counted, I would be in the thousands! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thanks!  If STI posts counted, I would be in the thousands! :lol:


I would be a billionaire like Trump!........Now I'm getting angry!!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thanks!  If STI posts counted, I would be in the thousands! :lol:


Well even though we got cheated on post counts, we could proudly list STI time spent, on any job resumés.

Who could possibly deny us?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> You're the only one who has the courage to admit it.


I've just been been called up to lead an invasion of North Korea. Trump told me if I have the courage to admit 4'33" hatred in public (TC is is favorite Trump website), then I am brave enough to intercept a few nuclear bombs. Roger that.


----------



## hpowders

Cavities Section:

My dentist told me he hasn't had a good cavity since he's been divorced.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Cavities Section:
> 
> My dentist told me he hasn't had a good cavity since he's been divorced.


He should not use so much fluoride is his toothpaste..............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> He should not use so much fluoride is his toothpaste..............


Irrelevant to his situation. Fluoride is the LAST thing on his mind. Trust me.


----------



## Dr Johnson

You may bristle at this suggestion, but I think your dentist may be suffering from crusty toothpaste.


----------



## hpowders

How to use the "like" system. A STI primer.

1. Click "like" when you genuinely are fond of the contents of a post. (Very rarely used this way. Original intention of the creator).

2. Click "like" for any post made by a member of your clique, no matter how inane the content of the post. (Frequent use).

3. Never click "like" for what certain posters write, no matter how profound, because the posters do not happen to be on one's popularity list. (Frequent use).

4. Always click the "like" directly above and below a poster you detest, driving home his status of isolation. (Frequent use).

5. Click the "like" of a post to let someone know you are online and in the general area of the post to interact, as a "paging" system. (Admirable, cerebral use and one this author uses frequently).

See how many of these "like" situations you can identify.

Report back. Keep thread alive!!


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> You may bristle at this suggestion, but I think your dentist may be suffering from crusty toothpaste.


I almost gave your post the brush-off but decided to studiously read it.


----------



## Dr Johnson

I like to scour every post thoroughly and drill down for the meaning.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> I like to scour every post thoroughly and drill down for the meaning.


I like your style.

I especially like that you in-_dent_ your paragraphs.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> I like your style.
> 
> *I especially like that you in-dent your paragraphs.*


I think it gives a post more bite.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> I think it gives a post more bite.


I'd rather a post have over-bite than a numbing effect. Much more effective.


----------



## Dr Johnson

One wants to make the right impression.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> One wants to make the right impression.


This post is your crowning achievement.

Dedication:

Por-Celine.


----------



## hpowders

Which thread will last longer:

1. Exploring each of Scarlatti's 555 keyboard sonatas in depth.

2. Wagner was a fine chap.


----------



## hpowders

Best birdsong by Bach.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Why do you NOT like 4'33"?

*Some of us find the later works of 433 to be sublimely at the pinnacle of pinnacles..... But this is a thread for those who *don't like 4'33" and the people who love it **

For those of you who can't stand 4'33", why is that? Is it because of its politics or religion, sports team or colour of the sky? Is it because a certain presidential candidate with bad hair likes it a lot and therefore 4'33" is poisoned by poison? Is it because 4'33" is a fungus whited out on the manuscript of music?

Pray tell if your god lets you.*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

22nd Century Classical


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favorite Surgical Instrument


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Your favorite over-exposed composer


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Best piece of Bark ever


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Could Mozart have been untrained musically?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The 2016 College Frat Party Thread


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Current Not Listening Vol IV


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Am I the only one who doesn't like Trump? An existential question...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What happens in your life after death - Come in and share!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What happens in your life after death - Come in and share!


I don't know. I'm kind of shy. Nobody would believe me anyway.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Favorite Surgical Instrument


Surgical metronome. Keeps the surgeons operating at the proper tempo.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Am I the only one who doesn't like Trump? An existential question...


You can say this now, but after January 20th, echoing this sentiment will get you deported to the South Pole....where wifi is a dream 350 years from reality.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> You can say this now, but after January 20th, echoing this sentiment will get you deported to the South Pole....where wifi is a dream 350 years from reality.


I'm already close enough to the south Pole that Trumpy can't touch me..............


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Current Not Listening Vol IV


I'm currently not listening to Cage, Wagner, or Verdi. The TC fights have turned me off those composers for good! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm already close enough to the south Pole that Trumpy can't touch me..............


Australia or New Zealand?

Trump has an extradition thing planned. Nobody escapes, whether one lives in Dallas or Sydney.


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What happens in your life after death - Come in and share!


When I die, my ghost will marry Beethoven's ghost! I'll be his "immaterial beloved." :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> When I die, my ghost will marry Beethoven's ghost! I'll be his "immaterial beloved." :lol:


I'm supernaturally jealous, but a few bottles of spirits, I will be alright again.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Australia or New Zealand?
> 
> Trump has an extradition thing planned. Nobody escapes, whether one lives in Dallas or Sydney.


Aussie land, not so keen on NZ too many sheep............. 
PS Sydney has more Kiwis than Kiwiland Ref http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Kiwiland


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Aussie land, not so keen on NZ too many sheep.............
> PS Sydney has more Kiwis than Kiwiland Ref http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Kiwiland


True confession: I was reading too quickly and carelessly, and somehow I misread "Aussie land" as "Aussie lady."  I was totally confused!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Aussie land, not so keen on NZ too many sheep.............
> PS Sydney has more Kiwis than Kiwiland Ref http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Kiwiland


My brother was there. He told me they have some fine posters down under. Speaking for myself, I haven't been "down under" in quite a while.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> True confession: I was reading too quickly and carelessly, and somehow I misread "Aussie land" as "Aussie lady."  I was totally confused!


Stay away from the rum cake and you will be fine.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Vegemite .........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Vegemite .........


Vegemite Sandwich even. Did you know the former name for Vegemite was Parwill, as it was a copy of the English Marmite- so Aussie advertising slogan was Marmite but Parwill.................... Never figured out what Ma and Pa were supposed to be doing!

" from 1928 to 1935 the product was renamed as "Parwill" to make use of the advertising slogan "Marmite but Parwill", a convoluted pun on the new name and that of its competitor; "If Ma [mother] might... then Pa [father] will." This attempt to expand market share was unsuccessful and the name was changed back to Vegemite."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegemite


----------



## Bettina

TC Update Department

Hey EddieRUKiddingVarese, what's been going on with those aliens? Are they kidnapping Beethoven, Mozart or Bach? Is Angelina Jolie still accepting starfish bribes?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> TC Update Department
> 
> Hey EddieRUKiddingVarese, what's been going on with those aliens? Are they kidnapping Beethoven, Mozart or Bach? Is Angelina Jolie still accepting starfish bribes?


Good point, I'd better go and check out whats going on -think Angelina's still up for a starfish bribe or two but Trump has got in on the act and threatening to deport the Aliens..... Little does he know!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

If Bach could pack sack, how much sack would Bach pack?


----------



## Bettina

A la carte composer poll #433

Which of these controversial composers do you like?

1. Beethoven
2. Cage
3. Mozart
4. Verdi
5. Wagner


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> A la carte composer poll #433
> 
> Which of these controversial composers do you like?
> 
> 1. Beethoven
> 2. Cage
> 3. Mozart
> 4. Verdi
> 5. Wagner


I'm quite fond of 
1. Meethoven
2. Sage
3. Bozart
4. Werdi
5. Vagner


----------



## hpowders

Which is your all-time favorite?

1. Parsley

2. Sage

3. Cage

4. Rosemary

5. Thyme signatures in general


----------



## hpowders

Is Leontyne's singing priceless?

Debate. Discuss.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Which is your all-time favorite?
> 
> 1. Parsley
> 
> 2. Sage
> 
> 3. Cage
> 
> 4. Rosemary
> 
> 5. Thyme signatures in general


Other: Count Basil


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Is Leontyne's singing priceless?
> 
> Debate. Discuss.


Follow-up question: is Maria's singing callous?


----------



## hpowders

Complaint dept.

If I'm posting to an Australian dude from Florida, there should be a nice time delay otherwise it doesn't feel real. Can you fix this?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Follow-up question: is Maria's singing callous?


Well played! :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Did Nicolai's vocal problems late in life force him to Gedda 'nother job?


----------



## hpowders

Announcement to my spell check gizmo.

Look. You don't know better than what I am attempting to spell. When I'm writing 'nother, I don't mean MOTHER!! 

So cut the crap!!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Announcement to my spell check gizmo.
> 
> Look. You don't know better than what I am attempting to spell. When I'm writing 'nother, I don't mean MOTHER!!
> 
> So cut the crap!!


Yes, spellcheckers are annoying. They think they know better than we do! It's like when Beethoven's publishers tried to "correct" his sonatas! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, spellcheckers are annoying. They think they know better than we do! It's like when Beethoven's publishers tried to "correct" his sonatas! :lol:


I'm sure I get almost as angry as Beethoven must have been. There should be a "creative" option when one initiates a new computer so we don't get talked down to by an insane spell-checker which is functioning more like a migraine-inducer.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'm sure I get almost as angry as Beethoven must have been. There should be a "creative" option when one initiates a new computer so we don't get talked down to by an insane spell-checker which is functioning more like a migraine-inducer.


Maybe it would be good to have a classical music version of Cortana, where you could pick your prefered composer to be your assistant- you could choose Bach or Stockhausen for example and you could then endlessly debate with your favorite or least favorite composer for your computing needs.................


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Maybe it would be good to have a classical music version of Cortana, where you could pick your prefered composer to be your assistant- you could choose Bach or Stockhausen for example and you could then endlessly debate with your favorite or least favorite composer for your computing needs.................


I would choose Cage as my assistant. He knows how to be quiet!


----------



## hpowders

Which usually wins with you? Dark Chocolate or 4'33"?
Explain your reasoning to the multitudes.


----------



## hpowders

Volunteers wanted for castrato procedures.

Post no. 1: We want to simply compare the countertenor pretenders of today vs. the real life superstars of Handel's day, the castrati. $10 a day plus free You Tube recording studio.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Volunteers wanted for castrato procedures.
> 
> Post no. 1: We want to simply compare the countertenor pretenders of today vs. the real life superstars of Handel's day, the castrati. $10 a day plus free You Tube recording studio.


Wouldn't know about voice quality, but the castrati had a better work ethic. In fact, they worked like oxen.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Wouldn't know about voice quality, but the castrati had a better work ethic. In fact, they worked like oxen.


If they didn't, they would simply have to find udder work.


----------



## hpowders

The greatest piece of music ever written eye-test:

The only way to settle which is the greatest piece of music ever penned, logically, is by eye-test, as if being fitted for a new eyeglass prescription.
The person in the chair simply picks the name of the composition he/she/it sees more clearly and carries it down to the next grouping until the clearest choice is the only one left standing.

I have a willing participant. Here, Fido! Sit in the chair. Good boy! Okay let's perform a sample test:

1. Bach WTC Book 2 vs. 4'33"

2. 4'33" vs. Brahms Violin Concerto

3. Neil Diamond's greatest hits vs. 4'33"

4. 4'33" vs. Wagner's Parsifal

5. Beethoven's Fourth Piano Concerto vs. 4'33"

6. Bach's B minor Mass vs. 4'33"

7. 4'33" vs. Liszt's Piano Sonata in B minor

4'33"

Okay, Fido. Thanks for participating. I will now send you back to your owner, Ellen Bark-in with the knowledge that you chose 4'33" as the greatest piece of music ever written. Many TC posters seem to agree with your choice.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Which usually wins with you? Dark Chocolate or 4'33"?
> Explain your reasoning to the multitudes.


If I was Donald Trump it would be Dark Chocolate and 4'33" of yellow liquid.............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> If I was Donald Trump it would be Dark Chocolate and 4'33" of yellow liquid.............


Urine the minority.


----------



## hpowders

Can a Metalhead find a cool Fedora?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Q What the difference between Hitler and Trump

A One likes brown and the other Yellow...............


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Q What the difference between Hitler and Trump
> 
> A One likes brown and the other Yellow...............


Yes, this is absolutely true about Hitler! His mistress was Eva Braun.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Q What is Donald Trumps Favorite Hotel 

A Watergate


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Post a picture of yourself naked.


----------



## hpowders

Should I discuss the pros and cons of the Israel Philharmonic with my landlady, Auntie Semitic?


----------



## hpowders

Which is more easily trained?

1. Musicality

2. Dolphins


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Post a picture of yourself naked.


According to the ToS, the OP is supposed to set the example in the first post, so the rest of us know exactly what is expected of us.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Post a picture of yourself naked.


Well half Naked, does that count...............


----------



## hpowders

Which shows better etiquette at a concert: making bird calls or eating bird feed?


----------



## hpowders

ESP Composer Poll:

Guess which 14 composer's I'm thinking of. They don't have to be in correct order.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> ESP Composer Poll:
> 
> Guess which 14 composer's I'm thinking of. They don't have to be in correct order.


Varese 
Varese
Varese 
Varese 
Varese 
Varese 
Varese

Varese 
Varese
Varese 
Varese 
Varese 
Varese 
Varese

Did I get the order correct?


----------



## hpowders

I was listening to La Mer and it got me thinking, has anyone tried to make a lobster using bisque-quick?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> 
> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> Varese
> 
> Did I get the order correct?


No. You got 13 of them right. The 8th one down was Cage. Still, not bad.

You just missed the $10,000,000 first prize, but I'm sure you will be pleased with the consolation prize, a lifetime subscription to Talk Classical Magazine, every month featuring a different centerfold picture of one of our most popular posters. Enjoy!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> No. You got 13 of them right. The 8th one down was Cage. Still, not bad.
> 
> You just missed the $10,000,000 first prize, but I'm sure you will be pleased with the consolation prize, a lifetime subscription to Talk Classical Magazine, every month featuring a different centerfold picture of one of our most popular posters. Enjoy!


Oh Goody, who is the first Centrefold????


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> Which is more easily trained?
> 
> 1. Musicality
> 
> 2. Dolphins


Both are easy compared to training cats...


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh Goody, who is the first Centrefold????


You're looking at him.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What will be Donald Trump's next fetish exposé ????

_1. Cats_

_2. Dolphins_


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

My cat is depressed. Recommend me classical music to cheer a cat up.


----------



## Bettina

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> My cat is depressed. Recommend me classical music to cheer a cat up.


This might help...I think the cat gets the mouse in the end...


----------



## Dedalus

Bettina said:


> This might help...I think the cat gets the mouse in the end...


Glad to see you helping somebody out but my mouse who I call Gerald (i don't know why) is now depressed. He's getting rather old but he's a good mouse.


----------



## hpowders

Anybody want to trade "your" composer for "my" composer?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Anybody want to trade "your" composer for "my" composer?


No way! My composer is worth much more than your composer. You'd have to add something.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Anybody want to trade "your" composer for "my" composer?


I wanna check his teeth first...


----------



## millionrainbows

A new version of 4'33" is underway, but it will be an outdoor performance using a specially constructed sundial. It must be small enough so that individual seconds can be registered.


----------



## hpowders

Are you a melodist, a harmonist or a cacophonist?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Are you a melodist, a harmonist or a cacophonist?


I'm a pacifist.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm a pacifist.


Depends on whose house you happen to be in.


----------



## hpowders

Can Musicality be trained?

Post No. 1: My dog Musicality, refuses to be housebroken and never stops barking. Is it hopeless or can Musicality be trained?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm a pacifist.


Of course, being in California. I'm an Atlantifist.


----------



## hpowders

So who's YOUR poster? 

Which of us do you want to be most like, when you grow up?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Piano concertos vs. Aeolian Harp concertos. Why are there more piano concertos?


----------



## hpowders

Bruckner haters' thread

Choose the least offensive movement in all of Bruckner's symphonies.

I chose movement 4 of Bruckner No. 9, original unfinished version.


----------



## hpowders

Please check in, those of you who did the three weeks of preparatory course work, and are ready to commence posting on the Wagner threads.

I wish you Notung but the best,

hp 
Wagner background course coordinator

Auntie Semitic
Registrar


----------



## hpowders

4'33": Hell Yes!!!


----------



## hpowders

Which poster writes the most difficult posts?


----------



## hpowders

There's this guy I buy my bagels from who charges a fair price so I would never go baroque, and who has a great voice.

For me he is a true countertenor.

Debate. Discuss. Prolong.


----------



## hpowders

Please help me to enjoy 4'33".

I'm new here and really want to norm conform.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Please help me to enjoy 4'33".
> 
> I'm new here and really want to norm conform.


1. Sit down at the Piano 
2. Open the keyboard up (if closed) 
3. Sit down at the piano
4. Place one hand on the keyboard
5. Place the another hand on the keyboard cover (Fallboard)
6. Now you can commence playing 4'33"
7. Close Fallboard onto hand on keyboard
8. Open Fallboard
9. Repeat steps 7 & 8 for 4'33''


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 1. Sit down at the Piano
> 2. Open the keyboard up (if closed)
> 3. Sit down at the piano
> 4. Place one hand on the keyboard
> 5. Place the another hand on the keyboard cover (Fallboard)
> 6. Now you can commence playing 4'33"
> 7. Close Fallboard onto hand on keyboard
> 8. Open Fallboard
> 9. Repeat steps 7 & 8 for 4'33''


Is it true that an empty poll with no choices was modeled after 4'33"? This is like a whole new world for me, dude. I like it!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Mozart versus Trumphoven


----------



## hpowders

A new musical comedy: _Trump, the Operator_ with Mandy Patinkin as the Donald and Meryl Streep as his outspoken, castrating wife. Set to tour all over the Golden Globe.

Previews on Broadway, February 14th, which has been just designated as Trump Day, a new federal holiday, making Valentine's Day obsolete.


----------



## hpowders

Yes, hpowders is right. Women have taken a long time to penetrate the various classical music professions.

The proof: for the life of me, I couldn't find a CD from the 1700-1900 period with a woman as soloist in a violin or piano concerto. 
A shame.

WAIT!!!! No....false alarm....it was a castrato in the Brahms Violin Concerto.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> A new musical comedy: _Trump, the Operator_ with Mandy Potamkin as the Donald and Meryl Streep as his outspoken, castrating wife. Set to tour all over the Golden Globe.
> 
> Previews on Broadway, February 14th, which has been just designated as Trump Day, a new federal holiday, making Valentine's Day obsolete.


Breaking news Trump has changed Thanksgiving to Golden Shower day..............

Celebrating Cash Pilgrimage and Pure Water Sports


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Trump's Ring and Temper


----------



## hpowders

Mozart's Secrets of His Genius:

For only $79, all the runs, all the modulations, all the trills (taken from the upper note) are here for you. Simply copy his genius and become another Mozart.

Offer expires at midnight, TCST.


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Mozart versus Trumphoven


How about Constanze vs. Melania? Women need to be represented too! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Secrets of Horowitz the Piano Virtuoso:

For only $239, sweep all the ladies off their feet! All the Horowitz fingerings, pedalings and hand positions; even how to bow properly-all here waiting for you to copy and become the next great piano virtuoso.

Only 1067 copies. Never more. Hurry!


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

I spend a solid hour and a half of consistent laughter while reading these replies. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Rejection of Beethoven:

Hello. I'm a virtuoso pianist looking for a good theme and variations based on popular folk songs.

"Hi. I'm Luigi Beethoven. You may have heard of me. I just wrote this 45 minute theme and variations. I call it the Diabelli Variations and I'm dedicating it to you, since you seem to be a nice poster looking for something to play."

"NO! NO! NO! I said the theme must be a FOLK SONG, idiot!!!" "Take this music out of my sight!!!"

"Any other TC posters have something I could play?"


----------



## hpowders

Richard Macduff said:


> I spend a solid hour and a half of consistent laughter while reading these replies. :lol:


Only an hour and a half. You wound me.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> How about Constanze vs. Melania? Women need to be represented too! :lol:


Who would win????? 

Could be the basis of a new reality TV show but I think Constanze would be at a disadvantage, being so long departed ........... Maybe could be The Ghosts of Constanze vs. Maria Barbara - Reality Composer Wives from beyond the Grave


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Who would win?????
> 
> Could be the basis of a new reality TV show but I think Constanze would be at a disadvantage, being so long departed ........... Maybe could be The Ghosts of Constanze vs. Maria Barbara - Reality Composer Wives from beyond the Grave


It could be a spin-off of Desperate Housewives...let's call it Deceased Housewives!! :lol:


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

hpowders said:


> Only an hour and a half. You wound me.


Just the ones after my first post, i'd write my own will before I read the preceding 800 pages of replies.

That being said, I have a will to update.


----------



## hpowders

Richard Macduff said:


> Just the ones after my first post, i'd write my own will before I read the preceding 800 pages of replies.
> 
> That being said, I have a will to update.


Where there's a will there's a way and if you are rich, the way is email me!!!!


----------



## Bettina

Richard Macduff said:


> Just the ones after my first post, i'd write my own will before I read the preceding 800 pages of replies.
> 
> That being said, I have a will to update.


What's the update? Have you decided to donate all your money to a Stupid Thread Ideas endowment fund?


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

Bettina said:


> What's the update? Have you decided to donate all your money to a Stupid Thread Ideas endowment fund?


Yes i'll donate my wealth to catalyzing the life of an silly internet thread.

Oh? You thought I was being sarcastic? Well, lets wait a few more years for me to croak, and this thread will gain divine right from the gods themselves.


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

I prefer mail via swallow, he should be arriving by your flat within the next eight months or so. Sign the letter ( without giving it a thorough look, lets not get lost in the fine print ) and send it straight away back to me. If you can't oblige by my specifications you just lucked out on my "Stupid Thread Idea Lockbox" designated for this thread.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Richard Macduff said:


> I prefer mail via swallow, he should be arriving by your flat within the next eight months or so. Sign the letter ( without giving it a thorough look, lets not get lost in the fine print ) and send it straight away back to me. If you can't oblige by my specifications you just lucked out on my "Stupid Thread Idea Lockbox" designated for this thread.


Would you care to adjudicate on the You Gotta chose one out of Mozart, Bach & Beethoven Thread, as is too close to call and Angelina is making too many demands since she split with Brad and the Aliens are getting restless with Trump breathing down their necks (at least I think they have necks??) .............


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

I will deal with these aliens -- And maybe while i'm here, vote for Bach as well. Cheers.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Richard Macduff said:


> I will deal with these aliens -- And maybe while i'm here, vote for Bach as well. Cheers.


Good, Now all you gotta do is take Mozart and Beethoven off to your alien planet..............
That ought to save a lot of arguments here on TC, while your at it take Wagner and Cage too!


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Good, Now all you gotta do is take Mozart and Beethoven off to your alien planet..............
> That ought to save a lot of arguments here on TC, while your at it take Wagner and Cage too!


You'll have to settle with just Cage being taken. I need some more time with Excalibur.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Richard Macduff said:


> You'll have to settle with just Cage being taken. I need some more time with Excalibur.


Thanks, that will at least solve a large portion of the arguments here.............. So folks get your 4'33" jokes in quick not long now- Oh As Slow As Possible better hurry up and finish off very soon.............


----------



## hpowders

If anti-depressant drugs were available to Tchaikovsky, would he have simply been just another minor Russian composer?


----------



## Bettina

If anti-depressant drugs were available to Bartok, he would have written Music for Strings, Percussion and Celexa.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If anti-depressant drugs were available to Bartok, he would have written Music for Strings, Percussion and Celexa.


I like the Ambien-ce of your post.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If anti-depressant drugs were available to Bartok, he would have written Music for Strings, Percussion and Celexa.


I was about to name my new dog, Doxepin, but he rejected it as being too depressing.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

John Williams stole my dentures.


----------



## Bettina

Dumbledore stole Brahms's beard.


----------



## Bettina

TC newbie here.

I tried looking for Prokofiev's "Saturday Symphony" on Amazon but I couldn't find it. What am I doing wrong???


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> TC newbie here.
> 
> I tried looking for Prokofiev's "Saturday Symphony" on Amazon but I couldn't find it. What am I doing wrong???


Check back on Monday. Prokofiev section closed for routine maintenance.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Check back on Monday. Prokofiev section closed for routine maintenance.


Uh-oh, sounds like a conspiracy to shut down the Prokofiev section...Stalin might be behind this...


----------



## hpowders

TC Food Query Section:

Why aren't salmon a bit more popular in the main stream?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> TC Food Query Section:
> 
> Why aren't salmon a bit more popular in the main stream?


A Gustav wind blew them out of the stream.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Uh-oh, sounds like a conspiracy to shut down the Prokofiev section...Stalin might be behind this...


Dept. of Justice should investigate....oh...wait...I forgot-they may be investigated too.

I just checked. "Saturday Symphony" in Russian actually means "Classical Symphony".

So if you ask a friend in Moscow to take you on a classical picnic, the friend will simply assume you mean a Saturday picnic.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> A Gustav wind blew them out of the stream.


Must have lasted for 85 minutes.


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Your favorite Ring

1. Wagner's Ring Cycle
2. My wedding ring
3. My phone ringtone
4. Ring Around the Rosie


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Dept. of Justice should investigate....oh...wait...I forgot-they may be investigated too.
> 
> I just checked. "Saturday Symphony" in Russian actually means "Classical Symphony".
> 
> So if you ask a friend in Moscow to take you on a classical picnic, the friend will simply assume you mean a Saturday picnic.


Wow, so the whole classical era would be called the Saturday era!?!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: Your favorite Ring
> 
> 1. Wagner's Ring Cycle
> 2. My wedding ring
> 3. My phone ringtone
> 4. Ring Around the Rosie


I would choose 3 because it's the pithiest choice.

1, 2 and 4 take too long....much too long.


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Your favorite movements in all of classical music

1. Lang Lang's head movements 
2. Bernstein's swooping hand movements
3. Brendel's eyebrow movements 
4. Gould's lip movements


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Wow, so the whole classical era would be called the Saturday era!?!


No. You obviously aren't familiar with Russian vocabulary usage. When classical is "all-encompassing", the "Saturday" usage of classical subjects the user to ridicule and they may literally beet you.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: Your favorite movements in all of classical music
> 
> 1. Lang Lang's head movements
> 2. Bernstein's swooping hand movements
> 3. Brendel's eyebrow movements
> 4. Gould's lip movements


Whichever is the most minimalist of the movements.


----------



## hpowders

Which is the best Current Listening? I, II, III or IV.

Emote, debate, discuss, deplete, dissolve, resolve, but whatever you do, let's keep it Civil, Allan.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Which is the best Current Listening? I, II, III or IV.
> 
> Emote, debate, discuss, deplete, dissolve, resolve, but whatever you do, let's keep it Civil, Allan.


Current listening? Is that when you go whitewater rafting and listen to the rushing current? I'll choose the easiest level: Current Listening I.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Current listening? Is that when you go whitewater rafting and listen to the rushing current? I'll choose the easiest level: Current Listening I.


Where I live, we have darkwater swamps and the only thing one hears is the 'gator about to pounce on any unnatural intruders.
So, call me a coward, but I'd rather stay within these walls and post instead.

Yes. Good choice. Current Listening I (degree of difficulty 1.32) inhabited mostly by listeners of Vivaldi and Scarlatti. By the time we reach Current Listening IV (degree of difficulty 7.93), mostly Schoenberg, Cage and Boulez compositions.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Where I live, we have darkwater swamps and the only thing one hears is the 'gator about to pounce on any unnatural intruders.
> So, call me a coward, but I'd rather stay within these walls and post instead.
> 
> Yes. Good choice. Current Listening I (degree of difficulty 1.32) inhabited mostly by listeners of Vivaldi and Scarlatti. By the time we reach Current Listening IV (degree of difficulty 7.93), mostly Schoenberg, Cage and Boulez compositions.


Yeah, and Current Listening 0 is for people who listen to Pachelbel's Canon!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Q: What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A: Donald Trump won't pay $1,000 to have a lentil on his face.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, and Current Listening 0 is for people who listen to Pachelbel's Canon!


I hated that piece from the first moment I ever heard it. It's that kind of piece that classical music haters use as evidence that classical music is boring. I hope Trump deports them all!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Q: What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
> 
> A: Donald Trump won't pay $1,000 to have a lentil on his face.


Oh yeah? $1000 to him is like a sixpence to the rest of us. I have no idea what a sixpence is since I'm a Yank, but I thought it would look impressive if I used the term.


----------



## hpowders

TC stranger than fiction department:

Rumor has it that after the success of his "Spring" Symphony, Schumann was in the midst of writing his Fifth Symphony, "Slinky", but they carted him away and it never came to fruition.


----------



## hpowders

TC Ingenuity Department

I couldn't get the alarm of my clock to stop, so I found putting a clean sock over it solved the problem and made me content. Of course, I had to re-set the hands.

You folks might want to try it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC Ingenuity Department
> 
> I couldn't get the alarm of my clock to stop, so I found putting a clean sock over it solved the problem and made me content. Of course, I had to re-set the hands.
> 
> You folks might want to try it.


But would it be any good for Puppet duties after that???????????


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> But would it be any good for Puppet duties after that???????????


Sure. Wash on delicate/cold. Tumble dry on cool. Take out and reuse....ewig......ewig.....ewig.....ewig....


----------



## Dim7

Ransom poll


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Random pill ...


----------



## hpowders

What's with all the nasty popups?

TC loner here. What's with all the new posters crowding me out here? Can't they be stopped from joining?


----------



## hpowders

Serialism: The ultimate showdown:

Wheatena vs. Cheerios vs. Rice Krispies.


----------



## hpowders

Baroque Keyboard Instruments?

Pianos, toy pianos, prepared pianos, clavichords, fortepianos and harpsichords serviced.

PM for rates.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Medieval torture instruments?

Pear of Anguish, The Judas Cradle, Iron Chair, Head Crusher, Breast Ripper, Rat Torture.

PM for rates.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Medieval torture instruments?
> 
> Pear of Anguish, The Judas Cradle, Iron Chair, Head Crusher, Breast Ripper, Rat Torture.
> 
> PM for rates.


I have a tough relationship at home. I'd like to order a pair of the Pears. Do I have to pay separate shipping? I hope not. I'd hate to be taken for a whipping on the total amount paid.


----------



## hpowders

Violin Concertos vs. Piano Concertos: Blind study

I will play 5 piano concertos and 5 violin concertos. See if you can determine which are the violin concertos and which are the piano concertos while BLINDFOLDED!!! What? You thought this was going to be easy?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> I have a tough relationship at home. I'd like to order a pair of the Pears. Do I have to pay separate shipping? I hope not. I'd hate to be taken for a whipping on the total amount paid.


We offer free shipping if your favorite composer is Beethoven.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> We offer free shipping if your favorite composer is Beethoven.


Yes! Yes! Beethoven!!


----------



## hpowders

After thinking about this for a soul-searching, intense few minutes, I'm putting my twins up for adoption: Randall Poll and Random Poll. Both very adoptable. Both 47.

Reasonable prices.

PM me.

Tad Poll,
("Dad")


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Favorite romantic lies from opera


My favorite is "I will always love you".


----------



## hpowders

For a best friend on TC, which is better: a sock, a member or a senior member?


----------



## hpowders

Odd Meter

My electric meter from the Iambic Pentameter Meter Co., only has odd numbers on it from 1 to 79. Should I ask for a different one?


----------



## Kieran

I think in an era of Fake News, and Post-Truth, etc, such scary concepts, and so forth, a good idea for a thread is that we write in _code_, so that whoever deciphers the code, um, they...well, they worked hard to get the truth, and...er...the news, too. I'll start:



> 7z8obqwlejhgkix gsdgh luumm K488....


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Your favorite under-cover composer.


----------



## hpowders

I came back this morning from my depression clinic, took my med prescription to be filled and the clerk told me the scrip translated from the Latin came out " listen to lute music three times a day with water for 8 weeks." Does that sound right?


----------



## hpowders

I heard President Trump will issue identity cards to all suspicious people and we will have a big *CM* stamped on ours, with the eventual plan of moving us out of our homes into special music camps with high barbed wire fences. I got this from Facebook fake news, a reliable source.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Sounds like Zappa's 200 Motels and Joe Garage combined............


----------



## hpowders

Wow! I just woke up from the greatest dream. I was part of a space exploration team and we retro-ed down to a planet that was composed of nothing but iTunes stores. A planet of the apps.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Metronomes.

Mine was the loud ticking clock in the crocodile's stomach from Peter Pan. Never missed a beat.


----------



## hpowders

What do you do to classical music that doesn't please you?

1. Step on it until it stops.

2. Beat it with a bullwhip until it stops. (Highly recommended)

3. Show it contempt by leaving the room and closing the door.

4. Post a thread about it on TC to see if others have even more sadistic ways to Handel music that displeases.

5. Post 24/7 on TC so like everybody else, you never have time to listen to any music anyway.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Favorite Metronomes.
> 
> Mine was the loud ticking clock in the crocodile's stomach from Peter Pan. Never missed a beat.


I enjoy seeing elves running around downtown. They're my favorite Metro Gnomes.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> What do you do to classical music that doesn't please you?
> 
> 1. Step on it until it stops.
> 
> 2. Beat it with a bullwhip until it stops. (Highly recommended)
> 
> 3. Show it contempt by leaving the room and closing the door.
> 
> 4. Post a thread about it on TC to see if others have even more sadistic ways to Handel music that displeases.
> 
> 5. Post 24/7 on TC so like everybody else, you never have time to listen to any music anyway.


Other: I hold a seance where I contact the dead composer, and I ask him to rewrite the piece to my specifications. I'm such a control freak! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

According to Real Coudy Politics, D. Trump may ban all non-American classical music because It came to the US illegally, without passing through proper immigration procedures. Too bad. I was starting to like Beethoven.


----------



## hpowders

Help me like Tartini.

I like Tartar sauce, but apparently these are two different things?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Other: I hold a seance where I contact the dead composer, and *I ask* him to rewrite the piece to my specifications. I'm such a control freak! :lol:


Yes. The key word is "ask" in a Godunov manner, not demand.


----------



## hpowders

TC Atheists Club:

I thank God I met so many people like me on TC.


----------



## Dim7

What's the area you explode the least?


----------



## hpowders

Is snubbing the baroque era an error on my part?


----------



## hpowders

Sacred music that even an atheist would like.


----------



## hpowders

Would anyone like to go to the prom with me? Anyone?


----------



## hpowders

Hello from San Quentin! Newbie here.

Short stay. Execution scheduled in two weeks. I need some music that takes a long time to play as my last request. Not 4'33" please.


----------



## Kieran

hpowders said:


> Hello from San Quentin! Newbie here.
> 
> Short stay. Execution scheduled in two weeks. I need some music that takes a long time to play as my last request. Not 4'33" please.


DearNewbie,

Sorry for the late reply, but I was busy watching tennis, then I fell asleep, then woke up and after breakfast, started the car and drove to work, and then....and then I...and so then...and anyway, two weeks passed and here we are. I hope this letter didn't take you long to read, because I know your execution takes place in less than two minutes - oh, and an interesting bit of gossip you might like! - sorry, no time. The Minute Waltz, by Chopin.

That's what I recommend. I realise now you only have 30 seconds left, but you did ask for a long piece of music.

Yours faithfully,

Etcetera


----------



## hpowders

Site reading

So many multi-paragraph posts on TC. I've become quite adept at site reading, something I had a lot of trouble with before I came on TC. Also I just had surgery for a _clef_ chin. Maybe that helped too.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kieran said:


> DearNewbie,
> 
> Sorry for the late reply, but I was busy watching tennis, then I fell asleep, then woke up and after breakfast, started the car and drove to work, and then....and then I...and so then...and anyway, two weeks passed and here we are. I hope this letter didn't take you long to read, because I know your execution takes place in less than two minutes - oh, and an interesting bit of gossip you might like! - sorry, no time. The Minute Waltz, by Chopin.
> 
> That's what I recommend. I realise now you only have 30 seconds left, but you did ask for a long piece of music.
> 
> Yours faithfully,
> 
> Etcetera


You heartless *******, I'll recommend the minute waltz


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You heartless *******, I'll recommend the minute waltz


I'm really short on time....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'm really short on time....


I do it at double time, does that help.............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I do it at double time, does that help.............


According to the hangman, do it in cut time.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> According to the hangman, do it in cut time.


Ok here goes ..................... breath in ffffffffffffffffffffffff

I've got minute
Just a little minute
I have only got a minute
Just a minute
I have only got a minute
That is all the time I have
To sing this tiny little minute waltz
It isn't easy but I'll try it then
I've got to say goodbye
But first I'll take a minute
And put in it
Every note that you may know
That less I sing a little minute waltz
And hope I can sing with no faults
I know it's difficult
I'll give it every last breath that I've got within my body
Hope that my performance won't be very shoddy
Singing every moment won't do wonders for my throat
I probably will end up hoarse
Of course I will I've got it down a wager

Cut - hope I was quick enough
- hey hangman how it hanging at your end..............


----------



## hpowders

Choral Fantasy vs. Choral Reality

Which is healthier, psychologically?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ok here goes ..................... breath in ffffffffffffffffffffffff
> 
> I've got minute
> Just a little minute
> I have only got a minute
> Just a minute
> I have only got a minute
> That is all the time I have
> To sing this tiny little minute waltz
> It isn't easy but I'll try it then
> I've got to say goodbye
> But first I'll take a minute
> And put in it
> Every note that you may know
> That less I sing a little minute waltz
> And hope I can sing with no faults
> I know it's difficult
> I'll give it every last breath that I've got within my body
> Hope that my performance won't be very shoddy
> Singing every moment won't do wonders for my throat
> I probably will end up hoarse
> Of course I will I've got it down a wager
> 
> Cut - hope I was quick enough
> - hey hangman how it hanging at your end..............


This post took my breath away....unfortunately, it was my last.


----------



## Scopitone

Doctor Johnny Fever's Top 10 Russian Operas


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Doctor Johnny Fever's Top 10 Russian Operas


Where can I find this list?


----------



## hpowders

If a music student tends to under-recognize composers, would this also translate into under-recognizing sight reading patterns?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> If a music student tends to under-recognize composers, would this also translate into under-recognizing sight reading patterns?


Maybe the student needs glasses! :lol: This piece might help:


----------



## hpowders

I feel really bad. I went to take a Juilliard entrance exam and I didn't recognize a photo of Beethoven walking through the Viennese snow 'cause he was wearing what looked like an Armani scarf over his face and I was told, don't quit my day job because I would never recognize obvious sight-reading patterns.

Comments. Consoling words?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I feel really bad. I went to take a Juilliard entrance exam and I didn't recognize a photo of Beethoven walking through the Viennese snow 'cause he was wearing what looked like an Armani scarf over his face and I was told, don't quit my day job because I would never recognize obvious sight-reading patterns.
> 
> Comments. Consoling words?


You did it wrong. You should try to recognize Beethoven's hair, not his face! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> You did it wrong. You should try to recognize Beethoven's hair, not his face! :lol:


I didn't realize. Maybe I will try Curtis.

I also want to thank those who sent me kind sympathetic words. I organized them into a nice Consolation Liszt.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Was Boris GoodEnough, or just a case of RigoMortis?


----------



## hpowders

I don't dig all this metronome stuff and I'm not going to beat myself up over it.


----------



## hpowders

Pat Fairlea said:


> Was Boris GoodEnough, or just a case of RigoMortis?


How's that workin' out for ya?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Female VS Male


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Female VS Male


I like both equally. I'm a crazy California chick who swings both ways!!


----------



## hpowders

I prefer the jungle gym.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I prefer the jungle gym.


Would that be Mozart in the Jungle Gym?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Would that be Mozart in the Jungle Gym?


Yes. That's Mozart in the jungle, Jim.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yes. That's Mozart in the jungle, Jim.


Why are you calling me Jim??  Did I somehow become transgendered? What bathroom am I supposed to use now?


----------



## hpowders

The Medieval Period doesn't speak to me.

"Convert to Christ or burn at the stake and we will turn you into steak!"

Just doesn't speak to me for some reason.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Why are you calling me Jim??  Did I somehow become transgendered? What bathroom am I supposed to use now?


I thought brother Varese wrote that post. Looks like I already made my quota of one mistake for 2017. Sorry!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I thought brother Varese wrote that post. Looks like I already made my quota of one mistake for 2017. Sorry!


Don't worry about it! I just checked and I'm still female. So everything is OK! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Magnus Lindbergh and his kidnapped baby; the plane truth.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> The Medieval Period doesn't speak to me.
> 
> "Convert to Christ or burn at the stake and we will turn you into steak!"
> 
> Just doesn't speak to me for some reason.


That's not my problem with the medieval period. I'm fine and dandy with the whole inquisition thing.  What bothers me is the lack of dominant-tonic cadences! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Don't worry about it! I just checked and I'm still female. So everything is OK! :lol:


I wouldn't have it any other way.

If you ever need anyone to double check....


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That's not my problem with the medieval period. I'm fine and dandy with the whole inquisition thing.  What bothers me is the lack of dominant-tonic cadences! :lol:


I feel your pain.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That's not my problem with the medieval period. I'm fine and dandy with the whole inquisition thing.  What bothers me is the lack of dominant-tonic cadences! :lol:


Oh they had plenty of dominants; they were called torturing priests.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Oh they had plenty of dominants; they were called torturing priests.


But did they have gin and tonic drinks, to help people endure the torture?


----------



## hpowders

The sexiest conductors with the meanest stick techniques?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> But did they have gin and tonic drinks, to help people endure the torture?


I would simply ask for some primitive earplugs to block out the monotonous chanting. The torture I could endure.
As a matter of fact my MD has certified me "rack steady" so bring it on!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> The sexiest conductors with the meanest stick techniques?


Bernstein. But he wouldn't have been interested in me, unless I changed my name to Jim!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Bernstein. But he wouldn't have been interested in me, unless I changed my name to Jim!


LOL! But he went both ways. He married and had a daughter.

With your musical background, I'm sure he would have been....flexible.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I have not read any of "Trump the RockOpera" thread but I can imagine what very likely might be said in that thread............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What TV Series Are You Not Watching?


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have not read any of "Trump the RockOpera" thread but I can imagine what very likely might be said in that thread............


Well, we certainly couldn't name it after the rock opera "Hair." Trump doesn't have much of that!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Well, we certainly couldn't name it after the rock opera "Hair." Trump doesn't have much of that!


Maybe is could be called "Donny" the deaf, dumb and blind President..............


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Maybe is could be called "Donny" the deaf, dumb and blind President..............


D.T Superstar suits him better ( his words not mine)


----------



## Bettina

Pugg said:


> D.T Superstar suits him better ( his words not mine)


Let's call it D.T. Superstar: The Phantom of the White House.


----------



## Pugg

Bettina said:


> Let's call it D.T. Superstar: The Phantom of the White House.


Even better as long as the outcome is the same.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Let's call it D.T. Superstar: The Phantom of the White House.


Yeah, good idea then he could at least cover up his face and hair even.................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Trump the Musical, it has alot of possibilities............ I bet Andrew Lloyd-W is writing one already!


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Trump the Musical, it has alot of possibilities............ I bet Andrew Lloyd-W is writing one already!


No, from reliable sources he refused it just like all the all well thinking artist who doesn't want to perform.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> No, from reliable sources he refused it just like all the all well thinking artist who doesn't want to perform.


Oh you mean the Ignoration...............


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh you mean the Ignoration...............


Bingo .....................


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Bettina said:


> That's not my problem with the medieval period. I'm fine and dandy with the whole inquisition thing.  What bothers me is the lack of dominant-tonic cadences! :lol:


Well, nobody's perfect.

Perfect.

As in V-I cadence.

No? OK......


----------



## hpowders

Just curious, regarding the Trump Inauguration, only EdVarese and Bettina have volunteered to represent TC? Also, which one is making a speech? Any spectator tickets for the rest of us unfortunates who aren't official participants?


----------



## Scopitone

Recommended Music for When I Marry Ivanka Trump


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Recommended Music for When I Marry Ivanka Trump


Music should be your last concern. More importantly, make sure your South Pole passport is in order.

"Ivanka" in Croatian means " don't even think about it".


----------



## millionrainbows

Insider sources report that Erik Satie's "Parade" will be played during the presidential inauguration, since Barnum and Bailey's circus band is no longer available.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Insider sources report that Erik Satie's "Parade" will be played during the presidential inauguration, since Barnum and Bailey's circus band is no longer available.


At least they won't be clowning around at the Inauguration.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Just curious, regarding the Trump Inauguration, only EdVarese and Bettina have volunteered to represent TC? Also, which one is making a speech? Any spectator tickets for the rest of us unfortunates who aren't official participants?


Bettina said she will speak for TC, I'll be on guard duty warding off any unwanted advances..........


----------



## hpowders

Donald Trump took my advice!!!

I told him to ban Beethoven's Emperor Concerto in the USA for the next four years because he, Donald Trump, is the only true Emperor!!


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Music should be your last concern. More importantly, make sure your South Pole passport is in order.
> 
> "Ivanka" in Croatian means " don't even think about it".


Good lookin' out. I don't speak a lick of Croatian.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Bettina said she will speak for TC, I'll be on guard duty warding off any unwanted advances..........


Thanks. Keep me abreast of the advances.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Good lookin' out. I don't speak a lick of Croatian.


I saved you a lot of grief.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Donald Trump took my advice!!!
> 
> I told him to ban Beethoven's Emperor Concerto in the USA for the next four years because he, Donald Trump, is the only true Emperor!!


You must have tweeted him. His response:

"I heard there was some German guy named Lud-wig claiming he wrote an Emperor song. They're always trying to be me, but he's a loser. Sad."


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> I saved you a lot of grief.


But she's so purty and shapely.

Dang it. 

Oh, well, I will try calling Hilary Hahn again. Maybe she's finally single, or something.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> You must have tweeted him. His response:
> 
> "I heard there was some German guy named Lud-wig claiming he wrote an Emperor song. They're always trying to be me, but he's a loser. Sad."


Ha! Ha! Sounds like his style.

"We're gonna ban all boring music!! It's gonna be BIG!!!"


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Lobster rolls, piano rolls or Tootsie Rolls?


----------



## hpowders

The message of Wagner's Ring is many of you need to see a good urologist.

Debate, discuss without rancor.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Poll: Lobster rolls, piano rolls or Tootsie Rolls?


Other: *Kaiser Rolls*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Thanks. Keep me abreast of the advances.


Its not only the abreasts we have to worry about..............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Other: *Kaiser Rolls*


One of your seediest posts.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Its not only the abreasts we have to worry about..............


Continue please. I've had a depressing day....up until now?


----------



## Gradeaundera

How does music "please you"  the most. Classical music ain't sexy, matey


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Gradeaundera said:


> How does music "please you"  the most. Classical music ain't sexy, matey


I don't know about you but it does turn *me *on.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Gradeaundera said:


> How does music "please you"  the most. Classical music ain't sexy, matey


Even when Spinal Tap do it??????????????


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Renee Fleming: Least Favorite DVD recordings


----------



## Gradeaundera

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Renee Fleming: Least Favorite DVD recordings


Oh god, I hate opera


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Gradeaundera said:


> Oh god, I hate opera
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> Think you'd best stay away from the Opera Youtube thread


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Trump's inauguration song:


----------



## hpowders

I'm a serious masochist.

*TALK ME DOWN!!!!!! * :devil::devil:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Renee Fleming: Least Favorite DVD recordings


I was listening to the St. Matthew Passion with Renee Fleming; that way:

I could hate Renee Fleming with a passion!!! :devil::devil:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'm a serious masochist.
> 
> *TALK ME DOWN!!!!!! * :devil::devil:


How far down? Do you want to become a bass or just a baritone?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> How far down? Do you want to become a bass or just a baritone?


As far down as I can to become completely emasculated!!!! Take me down to the sub-basement!!! Oh the joy!!! :wave:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> As far down as I can to become completely emasculated!!!! Oh the joy!!! :wave:


If you become emasculated, your voice will go up, not down... :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If you become emasculated, your voice will go up, not down... :lol:


At this point, I couldn't care less!!! *T A K E M E D O W N !!!*


----------



## hpowders

I love Grieg! You must *TAKE ME DOWN!!!* :devil::devil:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I love Grieg! You must *TAKE ME DOWN!!!* :devil::devil:


Now you're just trolling...


----------



## Bettina

Classic FM Hall of Shame 2017.

What pieces are you voting for?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Now you're just trolling...


I'm simply a masochist looking for a little love....


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'm simply a masochist looking for a little love....


Wouldn't a masochist be looking for hate instead?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Classic FM Hall of Shame 2017.
> 
> What pieces are you voting for?


Debussy's Violin Concerto made a negative impression on me, so I would vote for that.

Ravel's Grimm Suite; the sequel to Mother Goose, like most sequels was a dud too.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Wouldn't a masochist be looking for hate instead?


I'm different. I've already got all the hate I will ever need.

I really should simply count my blessings.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Debussy's Violin Concerto made a negative impression on me, so I would vote for that.
> 
> Ravel's Grimm Suite; the sequel to Mother Goose, like most sequels was a dud too.


Yeah, Debussy's Violin Concerto is way too derivative! It's obviously plagiarized from Cage's 4'33".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> At this point, I couldn't care less!!! *T A K E M E D O W N !!!*


This should do it


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, Debussy's Violin Concerto is way too derivative! It's obviously plagiarized from Cage's 4'33".


Debussy didn't want to copy Cage, because he said it would spoil his Images.


----------



## Bettina

TC newbie here.

Here on TC, I keep on seeing stuff about a composer named "Versus." Who is he? What are his best pieces?


----------



## hpowders

Help a Meathead find Classical Music.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> TC newbie here.
> 
> Here on TC, I keep on seeing stuff about a composer named "Versus." Who is he? What are his best pieces?


No! No! He was a Roman Emperor from 373 BC: Tiberius Versus Caesar, CCLLlV. He played a stradivarius while La Scala in Milan burned down.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Sexiest electrical conductor?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Your Favorite "ABCDEFGHIJKLMONPQRSTUVWXYZ" List Of Composers


----------



## Pugg

Your favourite way of bashing others, whilst being arrogant like no-one before.


----------



## Gradeaundera

Pugg said:


> Your favourite way of bashing others, whilst being arrogant like no-one before.


With a very large batten matey


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Your Favorite "ABCDEFGHIJKLMONPQRSTUVWXYZ" List Of Composers


This HAD to be said!!! Thanks for having the courage.

Let's have one massive 26 letter composer showdown!!!

Alphabet soup will never be the same again!!!


----------



## Scopitone

Your Favorite XVIIth Symphonies


----------



## hpowders

Handel, Haydn & Hummel Injury Attorneys.

Reasonable Rates.

Cash only. No checks, credit or debit cards.

Special for this week only:Classical music lovers pay a 10% surcharge!!


----------



## Dim7

Is the message of millionrainbows' Stupid Thread Ideas optimistic or pessimistic?


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Your Favorite XVIIth Symphonies


For the XVIIth time, please stay on topic! I will NOT tell you a XVIIIth time!! 

The Roman Mod
:devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> For the XVIIth time, please stay on topic! I will NOT tell you a XVIIIth time!!
> 
> The Roman Mod
> :devil:


Yeah write it out C times, next some latin lessons


----------



## Scopitone

Wwjsbd?


........................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> Wwjsbd?
> 
> ........................................


What Would Jason Bourne Do? Not sure probably shoot it all up.................... The Roman's wouldn't like that!


----------



## Dim7

Steal/Bribe/Blackmail forum?


----------



## hpowders

My name is Morty Schulman and I dabble in composing.

What would it take for me to get on your S List?

I'm already on the S List at work.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> My name is Morty Schulman and I dabble in composing.
> 
> What would it take for me to get on your S List?
> 
> I'm already on the S List at work.


$100
or some Varese LP's


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Breaking news Trump to take on Kanye West at rapping- under the name T-Rump we will bust a rhyme just repeating the same word over and over again and pass that off as if it were a rhyme. He does appear to have a pretty limited vocabulary. He'd also be one sick twerker.

"You know, it really doesn't matter what the media write as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ***" (Donald J. Trump, aka Da T-Rump).


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> $100
> or some Varese LP's


I just had some veal parmigiana at Varese's. Does that count?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I just had some veal parmigiana at Varese's. Does that count?


Close but no cigar..............


----------



## hpowders

TC Tickets Department:

68 tickets just freed up for the Trump Inauguration.

10% Surcharge for Talk Classical Members.

Act fast!!! Won't last!! Heck of a cast!! Audience vast!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC Tickets Department:
> 
> 68 tickets just freed up for the Trump Inauguration.
> 
> 10% Surcharge for Talk Classical Members.
> 
> Act fast!!! Won't last!! Heck of a cast!! Audience vast!


Sorry, I'll be washing my hair that day..............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sorry, I'll be washing my hair that day..............


Yeah but they promise to have Bose speakers. Guest speakers weren't available.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sorry, I'll be washing my hair that day..............


On your head?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Yeah but they promise to have Bose speakers. Guest speakers weren't available.


I send a body double then............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> On your head?


more than the Donald has got to play with, oh and maybe there too!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I send a body double then............


Double your pleasure, double your fun.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Double your pleasure, double your fun.


I'll stay home thanks............... couldn't think of anything worse....


----------



## hpowders

^^^ I see you crossed the 2000 post threshold. Sufficient evidence of a wasted life.

Congrats!!! :tiphat:


----------



## Scopitone

_You're a Good Man Charlie Brown_ vs _Die Walkure_


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> ^^^ I see you crossed the 2000 post threshold. Sufficient evidence of a wasted life.
> 
> Congrats!!! :tiphat:


Thanks what an achievement, I promise to be even stupider for the next 2000.................


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> _You're a Good Man Charlie Brown_ vs _Die Walkure_


What a difficult choice. Two of my all time favorites!


----------



## hpowders

I don't have an avatar because I want the other posters to see me as I really am.

Debate. Discuss.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I don't have an avatar because I want the other posters to see me as I really am.
> 
> Debate. Discuss.


Ah ha found ya - nothing is sacred ...............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I got some recording of 4'33" for sale if anyone is interested.....................


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I got some recording of 4'33" for sale if anyone is interested.....................


As long as they don't cost much more then € 4.33


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> As long as they don't cost much more then € 4.33


I can send you the Flac file for that price.............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ah ha found ya - nothing is sacred ...............
> 
> View attachment 91655


Ahh yes! My handy wrist metronome avatar.
I've had others. There's NO WAY you can ever find them. I dare you!!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Close but no cigar..............


You are stalling my nomination.


----------



## hpowders

Musical novice here. Just started a few days ago. Looking for suggestions.

The only things I'm familiar with over the last few weeks are: Beethoven 9 symphonies, 5 piano concertos, violin concerto, Missa Solemnis, 15 string quartets, Diabelli Variations, Bagatelles, Wellington's Victory; Brahms 4 symphonies, 2 piano concertos, double concerto violin concerto, A German Requiem, Piano Quintet, three piano trios, three piano quartets, 2 string quintets, 2 string sextets, variations & fugue on a theme by Handel; Bach Mass in B minor, St John Passion, St. Matthew Passion, 111 cantatas, 6 brandenburg concertos, 6 keyboard partitas, 6 solo violin partitas and sonatas, 178 solo organ works; Haydn The Creation, 65 string quartets, 11 piano trios, 104 symphonies; Mozart 6 operas, 27 piano concertos, 41 symphonies, many string quartets, 4 string quintets.

Should I add 4'33" to become more well-rounded?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Musical novice here. Just started a few days ago. Looking for suggestions.
> 
> The only things I'm familiar with over the last few weeks are: Beethoven 9 symphonies, 5 piano concertos, violin concerto, Missa Solemnis, 15 string quartets, Diabelli Variations, Bagatelles, Wellington's Victory; Brahms 4 symphonies, 2 piano concertos, double concerto violin concerto, A German Requiem, Piano Quintet, three piano trios, three piano quartets, 2 string quintets, 2 string sextets, variations & fugue on a theme by Handel; Bach Mass in B minor, St John Passion, St. Matthew Passion, 111 cantatas, 6 brandenburg concertos, 6 keyboard partitas, 6 solo violin partitas and sonatas, 178 solo organ works; Haydn The Creation, 65 string quartets, 11 piano trios, 104 symphonies; Mozart 6 operas, 27 piano concertos, 41 symphonies, many string quartets, 4 string quintets.
> 
> Should I add 4'33" to become more well-rounded?


WHAT!?! No Wagner!?!?!  Hurry up and listen to the Ring Cycle!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> WHAT!?! No Wagner!?!?!  Hurry up and listen to the Ring Cycle!


Okay. That's the kind of input I need.

Let's see. I have my doctor's appointment for the psychiatrically insane at 1 PM....

Well, I do have 6 CD players. I will put a CD in each to speed the Wagner up so I can make my appt.

I just want to be musically educated on the fast track to catch up to you guys and guyitas.


----------



## hpowders

TC ESP Psychic Section

IYO, W's MO?


----------



## hpowders

Since "Current Listening Vol. 1" covered 2006-2014, shouldn't it be renamed "Great TC Listeners of the Past"?


----------



## hpowders

Is the message of Wagner's Ring, how to take a 2 1/2 hour movie and bloviate it into a 15 hour opera?


----------



## hpowders

So I guess TC will be totally closed down tomorrow for President Trump's Inauguration.

I had my front door lock changed today as a safeguard against being deported.

It would be tragic if my CDs which have been ordered imported would pass me by in the opposite direction as I am being deported.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite atone poem written between 1968-2017.


----------



## hpowders

I'm going to North Korea on a tour. Which of their orchestras is the best?

How's the acoustics in Nuclear Bomb Hall?


----------



## hpowders

Callas Imitators.

Listen to the following 5 tapes. See if you can pick out the real Maria Callas. Each will be articulating:

"Oh Aristotle! You are the billionaire ship builder for me!"


----------



## hpowders

Quite a connection between Classical Music Discussion and Community Forum.

Looks like they finally switched to FIOS.


----------



## hpowders

North Korea branch of Talk Classical:

Pieces that have blown away: my village, my family, my prized Liszt _Sonta_ collection...


----------



## hpowders

TC musical breeding department:

What do you get when you cross a Liszt Sonata with a Liszt Sonnet:

A Liszt Sonta.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> What a difficult choice. Two of my all time favorites!


Why are you telling _me_?


----------



## Scopitone

Which recording of 4'33" goes best with afternoon tea?

Which tea goes best with 4'33"?


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> Which recording of 4'33" goes best with afternoon tea?
> 
> Which tea goes best with 4'33"?


I recommend pairing an empty cup of tea with 4'33".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Ahh yes! My handy wrist metronome avatar.
> I've had others. There's NO WAY you can ever find them. I dare you!!


Bettina, do you think we should???


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Bettina, do you think we should???


I'd better "watch" out--I don't want to be accused of cyber-spying!!


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Why are you telling _me_?


That I love them both.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Bettina, do you think we should???


You will never find them! I used the cloaking device!


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Why are you telling _me_?


I don't know. You tell me.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'd better "watch" out--I don't want to be accused of cyber-spying!!


If you do I will sic Haydn, Handel & Hummel on your case. They always win me a lot of cyber-bitcoin.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

hpowders said:


> Is the message of Wagner's Ring, how to take a 2 1/2 hour movie and bloviate it into a 15 hour opera?


Ah, now you're Tolkein!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I often ignore the first 3" passage of 4'33", as I like my music to be a whole number like 4'30"


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I often ignore the first 3" passage of 4'33", as I like my music to be a whole number like 4'30"


I was about to post the exact same thing, but you just beat me to it by 1' 09".

I bet you also listen to a complete multi-movement work, rather than isolated movements, the latter which, would be completely contrary to the composer's intentions.


----------



## hpowders

Which would you rather ignore:

1. Andante/minuet movements of every Mozart Symphony.

2. Khatia Buniatishvili asking you out on a date in fluent French.


----------



## Bettina

Do you ignore certain posters on TC? Or do you want to experience each thread as the poster intended it?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Your favorite (non-JS) non-Bach


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> I don't know. You tell me.


"Why are you telling me?" is a famous line from the show, from a number by Sally Brown - originated by the divine Kristin Chenoweth, who won a Tony for the role.


----------



## Scopitone

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Your favorite (non-JS) non-Bach


Dang you and your rules. I was gonna say J.S. Wagner.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> "Why are you telling me?" is a famous line from the show, from a number by Sally Brown - originated by the divine Kristin Chenoweth, who won a Tony for the role.


NOW you tell me!!!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Do you ignore certain posters on TC? Or do you want to experience each thread as the poster intended it?


I use the opposite rule of listening to music with movements. I never read multi-paragraph posts exceeding two, completely. I usually read the first two lines and the last two lines. No complaints yet from the "authors".
This method allows me more time to listen to complete works of music, so I don't have to skip any movements for lack of time.


----------



## hpowders

Name your favorite K:

1. Korngold

2. Kodaly

3. Kant

4. Special K cereal

6. can't, won't, other.


----------



## hpowders

Quite a connection between Bettina's last sentence and hpowder's first sentence.
Proof that hpowders had to be Bettina's syntax teacher.

Debate. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

Bruckner's Symphony No. 4 and Mahler's Symphony No. 8 are both in E Flat!

Please list other evidence that indeed, Mahler was influenced by Bruckner.


----------



## hpowders

Is Beethoven's Wellington Victory a bit over-cooked?


----------



## hpowders

TC Trump Comparison Thread

At exactly 4'33" after Trump is sworn in, describe your feelings-any jolts, shocks, palpitations, kumbaya?


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> TC Trump Comparison Thread
> 
> At exactly 4'33" after Trump is sworn in, describe your feelings-any jolts, shocks, palpitations, kumbaya?


The only thing I felt at 4'33": rain.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Have you changed your front door locks, now that Donald Trump is president, to avoid a late night deportation visit?


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that while the Republicans attend a Presidential Ball tonight, the Democrats will be having a Bawl tonight at the same time?


----------



## hpowders

Cancel my TC Membership!!

Wassup with this? I read a thread on TC about many variations of Beethoven's Kreutzer Violin Sonata, so I ordered 6 different performances of it and for the life of me, they all sound the same!

It seems to me Beethoven only wrote one Kreutzer Sonata!

So cancel my TC membership. You folks are sick.


----------



## hpowders

New CD time allotment

I just got a new CD and I budget out an hour: 20 minutes to get the wrap off of the CD and 40 minutes to listen to one of the musical works on the CD. Is this more or less, consensus?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

We have a Plan in Oz if all goes bad and T-Rump takes on the Chinese...............

Firstly, we will lasso all the Minke Whales that the Japanese have been catching(for Scientific purposes) in our waters lately, hitch up Tasmania with a tow rope and head out further into the Indian Ocean- Start eating a lot more curry, become a call centre and hope no one notices us, then we can begin a "Your Windows has a Virus" Phone Scam led economic recovery. 


We got the Idea from watching old episodes of Get Smart- Do you think it will work............


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> We have a Plan in Oz if all goes bad and T-Rump takes on the Chinese...............
> 
> Firstly, we will lasso all the Minke Whales that the Japanese have been catching(for Scientific purposes) in our waters lately, hitch up Tasmania with a tow rope and head out further into the Indian Ocean- Start eating a lot more curry, become a call centre and hope no one notices us, then we can begin a "Your Windows has a Virus" Phone Scam led economic recovery.
> 
> 
> We got the Idea from watching old episodes of Get Smart- Do you think it will work............


This gives me an idea for a new poll--a twist on the good old desert island theme. What recordings would you take to the Indian call center?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> This gives me an idea for a new poll--a twist on the good old desert island theme. What recordings would you take to the Indian call center?


Air in a G(ohan) String Curry


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Air in a G(ohan) String Curry


Hey, let's start up a Current Listening thread!


----------



## hpowders

TC Google Earth Verification Thread

Hey y'all. I need to know what you are doing right now, to make sure my Google Earth sees the same thing through your windows.
You only need to report in to me one time.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hey, let's start up a Current Listening thread!


Post no. 1: I recommend the Spice Girls favorite Hit. The same song played 12 times.
Great sound. Highly recommended!


----------



## hpowders

Buy/Sell/Trade:

My butler, Bruce, wishes to move on...something about not getting paid for 2016.

Does anyone want to trade: my butler for a pastry chef or massage therapist? Even up!!


----------



## hpowders

Hi. Newbie here.

It's like this. I've been here for 3 days and I'm just not into Wagner and 4'33".
I hate TC and its posters and I want to leave.

Do you have any "goodbye" or "farewell" or "leaving for good" threads that I should post on before I go, or do I just go?
I want to do the right thing so people like me and I get a lot of friends on my friends list.


----------



## hpowders

If TC can have an "ignore" function to block certain posters, why can't CDs come with a similar function if I don't believe in listening to stuff I don't like?

I like the Haydn London Symphonies, but only the first and fourth movements of each. It would be so convenient if I could simply block out the andantes and minuets.

Any software engineers want to partner up with me and see if we can come up with a classical music blocking mechanism?


----------



## hpowders

TC deportation list:

If Trump starts deporting TC members alphabetically, how long will I have to get my affairs in order before he gets to the "P's"?


----------



## hpowders

If you knew you were going to be deported by President Trump tomorrow morning, under the Anti-Classical Music Act of 2017, which pieces of music would you be listening to tonight?


----------



## hpowders

Ear Training Kit

Instructions: attach hooks to earlobes. Carefully add weights provided, one to each hook. Bend neck forward and then back to original position. Work up to 25 reps. each ear.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here. I can think quadrophonically. I would like to meet others with similar brains.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

hpowders said:


> If you knew you were going to be deported by President Trump tomorrow morning, under the Anti-Classical Music Act of 2017, which pieces of music would you be listening to tonight?


Strange Fruit, sung by Flagstad


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Newbie here. I can think quadrophonically. I would like to meet others with similar brains.


She said her stereo was four way, so I guessing Camarillo Brillo would be a good match for you.............But watch out for her Mendecino Beano


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which had the largest attendance?

1. Trump's Inauguration

2. Varese Music Festival

3. Bettina's 2000 post party

4. Wagner thread participant party

5. I'm a misanthrope and prefer to stay in my room alone.


----------



## hpowders

Are you more afraid of Virginia Woolfe than you like Hugo Wolf?


----------



## hpowders

I am a member of Trump's concert police. When I see a gross violation such as a concertgoer hogging the armrests, do I write the $200 summons for "Armrests Violation" or "Armsrest Violation"?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which is most distasteful?

1. Coconut water straight up

2. Hogging armrests at concerts

3. Coughing at concerts out of boredom

4. Declaring one's love for Verdi over Wagner on TC

5. What's the difference? My life sux.


----------



## hpowders

You know the song, "Sugar in the morning, sugar in the evening, sugar at supper time"?

I want to simply change "sugar" to "coconut water" and use the same melody.

You got a problem with that?


----------



## hpowders

Alone classical music lover wishing to meet other alone classical music fanatics so we can be alone together.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Breaking News Oz has struck a deal with the Japs.

Japan decides to accept Australia's Offer to pursue the overexposed Yellow Stained Trump(et) Fish, instead of the Minke Whales in exchange for exclusive rights and Reality TV deals for footage explaining the unusual Yellow Staining of the feathers on its head and Madozala area...............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Coconut Water with your Vodka?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Do You Like Coconut Water with your Vodka?


Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up. Harry Nilsson


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Are you a clone??


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Are you a clone??


No, but I did prospect for gold in the Clonedike.

Unfortunately, all I brought back were four Clonedike ice cream bars.

Four to the bar.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> No, but I did prospect for gold in the Clonedike.


Did you have to stick your finger in it.................??


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Did you have to stick your finger in it.................??


Please save your disgusting comments for the Wagner threads, where they are well-deserved.


----------



## hpowders

Hello. My name is Madonna. Anyone have any magic fire left over from the Ring? I simply want to burn down the White House. I will return any excess. I am a moral person, don't worry.


----------



## hpowders

Are you alone?

Maybe it's your breath!


----------



## hpowders

Ear training course. 
$200 tuition
Ear weights and neck brace, additional.
Pierced ears a must!


----------



## Bettina

Is there a correlation between classical music preferences and favorite foods? If you love Wagner, is sauerkraut your favorite food? How about Verdi and pasta alfredo? Debussy and frogs' legs?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Is there a correlation between classical music preferences and favorite foods? If you love Wagner, is sauerkraut your favorite food? How about Verdi and pasta alfredo? Debussy and frogs' legs?


I like Bach so I restrict myself to organ meats.


----------



## hpowders

TC Rope Factory

The chord you ordered is progressing nicely.


----------



## hpowders

Why did JS Bach change his name to Virgil Fox?


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Poll: Which had the largest attendance?
> 
> 1. Trump's Inauguration
> 
> 2. Varese Music Festival
> 
> 3. Bettina's 2000 post party
> 
> 4. Wagner thread participant party
> 
> 5. I'm a misanthrope and prefer to stay in my room alone.


Wagner threads are the largest ever. Huge. Everyone says so. Period.


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> Wagner threads are the largest ever. Huge. Everyone says so. Period.


I'm not sure about that...the 4'33" threads just might be catching up...


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Wagner threads are the largest ever. Huge. Everyone says so. Period.


You picked the most popular choice: 87% of participants.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm not sure about that...the 4'33" threads just might be catching up...


It's not a poll choice. You can still change your choice to "misanthrope" before the ink dries permanently. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Please save your disgusting comments for the Wagner threads, where they are well-deserved.


Ah so you did, I promise not to tell anyone- Honest...............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ah so you did, I promise not to tell anyone- Honest...............


The ball's in your court as we say in Flushing Meadow.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> The ball's in your court as we say in Flushing Meadow.


Here we say Rod Laver Arena, Funny I've always thought of Melbourne as Shi* Hol*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Here we say Rod Laver Arena, Funny I've always thought of Melbourne as Shi* Hol*


I used to live 2 miles away from Flushing Meadows in Queens, NY.

But I had to appear in municipal tennis court and I got extradited to Florida on a charge of bad punning.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I used to live 2 miles away from Flushing Meadows in Queens, NY.
> 
> But I had to appear in municipal tennis court and I got extradited to Florida on a charge of bad punning.


Who was the Umpire Oh I mean Magistrate, John McEnroe ???????????????


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Who was the Umpire Oh I mean Magistrate, John McEnroe ???????????????


You can't be serious!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> You can't be serious!!


No, You can't be serious!!

You can not be serious!!!!!!!


----------



## Scopitone

Bettina said:


> I'm not sure about that...the 4'33" threads just might be catching up...


No comments from you. You're Fake Post.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> No comments from you. You're Fake Post.


But its only fake _4'33" of the time_


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do you put a train between your ears?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Did you know that there are cats in dogs older than cows?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How do you put a train between your ears?


You seem to have a one track mind.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Did you know that there are cats in dogs older than cows?


Sounds like a Frenchman on his second Berlitz English lesson.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Sounds like a Frenchman on his second Berlitz English lesson.


Those French. It's like they have a different word for everything. - Steve Martin


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> Those French. It's like they have a different word for everything. - Steve Martin


How many posts can a post picker pick. before he has picked a pickle of posts................


----------



## Scopitone

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How many posts can a post picker pick. before he has picked a pickle of posts................


Plenty, practically


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> Plenty, practically


It seems that way..............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How many posts can a post picker pick. before he has picked a pickle of posts................


As a practical pithy poster, a peck, perhaps.


----------



## hpowders

Whose afraid of Julia Wolfe?

Apparently most TC members, according to a recent poll.


----------



## hpowders

Are you alone?

Not since I've discovered toothpaste and Listerine. Thanks!


----------



## hpowders

Uncanny resemblance among all Bruckner symphony movements and all of Mahler's!


----------



## hpowders

From the management:

We know you are sick and tired of endless, tedious polls.

So instead of polls, we are instituting a new policy in place of the polls: Each Bruckner symphony movement will be compared to one by Mahler.

We hope you are satisfied with this new TC improvement.


----------



## hpowders

What's the difference between an insane asylum and TC?

An insane asylum recognizes that Bruckner and Mahler were different composers with little in common.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is your Coconut doing right now?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What is your Coconut doing right now?


Who wants to know?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Who wants to know?


 bottom half of a *coconut ???? *


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Mexico can hardly wait to pay for Trump's border wall with their credit card, so they can make a killing on the airline frequent flier miles?


----------



## hpowders

On comparing Bruckner to Mahler:

Yes, I'm outraged.

Yes, I'm angry.

Yes, I was thinking of blowing up the Linz Bruckner Festival, but I knew it wouldn't help.


----------



## millionrainbows

I've got an eight-channel mixer, so I'm going to listen to eight different versions of 4'33" at once! I hope my head doesn't explode.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> I've got an eight-channel mixer, so I'm going to listen to eight different versions of 4'33" at once! I hope my head doesn't explode.


Double quadraphonic wow................


----------



## Scopitone

Firehouse's smash hit power ballad "Love of a Lifetime" borrows heavily from the 3rd act of _Turandot_.

Discuss.


----------



## Scopitone

millionrainbows said:


> I've got an eight-channel mixer, so I'm going to listen to eight different versions of 4'33" at once! I hope my head doesn't explode.


You won't get the full effect without the SACDs or HD-FLACs.


----------



## Scopitone

*calls press conference*

It is our intention never to lie to you about whether these thread ideas are stupid, insofar as we can help it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> You won't get the full effect without the SACDs or HD-FLACs.


Yeah, you'll need big Electrostatics and a Carver amp for the full effect also..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is the message of Drump's Ring optimistic or pessimistic?


----------



## Scopitone

Is the message of Drump's Hair optimistic or pessimistic?


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Is the message of Drump's Hair optimistic or pessimistic?


Neither. The message is orange works.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Are you a compulsive buyer of coconuts!


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here. Hi, my name is Madonna Belladona and I am in a Mozart D minor kind of mood, so what better way to express it then to blow up the White House. I hope to make friends on TC with a lot of people who share my various interests.


----------



## hpowders

Looking for rubato.

Last seen on interstate 75 in Tampa.


----------



## hpowders

Public poll. Everyone can see your choice.
There is no telling what they might do to you. Please be careful in your selection.


----------



## hpowders

Alert! Alert! A poster just voted "unsure" in a TC public poll. The stoning will proceed immediately as to the provision in the ToS.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Alert! Alert! A poster just voted "unsure" in a TC public poll. The stoning will proceed immediately as to the provision in the ToS.


Uh-oh! That was me. Now I'm scared. The fear is driving me mad...soon I'll burst out into some coloratura singing! :lol:


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

I keep hearing gluten's bad. Where can I find a gluten-free recording of The Ring cycle?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Uh-oh! That was me. Now I'm scared. The fear is driving me mad...soon I'll burst out into some coloratura singing! :lol:


Anyone on TC caught stoning you should be deported to I-Rock. Just perusing a few of the Wagner threads is inspiration enough for me to deliver a definitive Mad Scene. Just do me one favor. Call me Lucio, not Lucia.


----------



## hpowders

Is 4'33" any good?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Is 4'33" any good?


Only the 1st movement.


----------



## hpowders

TC Hardware Department

I need one kind of hammer to complete my three hammer set.

I have a claw hammer and a sledge hammer. Anyone have a Stenhammar? That would be Swede!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Only the 1st movement.


Do you know where I can get a good vinyl, gluten free or otherwise


----------



## Pugg

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> I keep hearing gluten's bad. Where can I find a gluten-free recording of The Ring cycle?


In the gluten-free shop.


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

Did someone dare to say "too many", and "polls" in the same sentence?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Richard Macduff said:


> Did someone dare to say "too many", and "polls" in the same sentence?


Someone did say "one can never have too many polls. One sentence.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Do you know where I can get a good vinyl, gluten free or otherwise


Trump heard 'gluten free' and his reaction was " Not any more!! Gluten must enter the US legally, like everybody else!!"


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Uh-oh! That was me. Now I'm scared. The fear is driving me mad...soon I'll burst out into some coloratura singing! :lol:


Hold on! Before you start, can you please ditch the Lucia Mad Scene and do Parto..... parto from Mozart's La Clemenza di Tito instead?

Only if it doesn't inconvenience you.


----------



## Dim7

Explained in the most long-winded way possible, what is NOT your "role" on Talk Classical?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is Not my role on talk classical well let me think about that one for a while and I will get back to you in subsequent posts (plural), after much argument, pontificating, general composer bashing and atonal posturing..... and while I'm at it I think some more about the role of Wagner in the modern classical world and whether he a Cage would have ever got on and if Wagner would have liked 4'33" and / or atonal and 12 tone music too. Now thats a lot to think about so I'd better do some more thinking and contemplate the concept of role and talk classic separately then over many posts combine the two together very slowly, careful not to repeat myself or mix metaphors, watch for punctuation, spelling and the Talk Classical TOS. Oh and also make sure I don't mention any other musical web forums. In summing up I feel that this will be a long and arduous task which in some ways will be similar to the search for the holy grail from which I will take my inspiration, that will keep me going as I search for this quest and I might even along the way find the lost chord of something similar. Wish me luck on this quest as I take it on with a heavy heart and trepidation as I am not sure what will be the outcome of the long and thankless question to which I feel there will be many answers. So with all of that I will now embark on this duty in the knowledge that no one will really care what the outcome is and further more I hope that this will enlighten mankind in the coming centuries and help improve the common good for classical music. With that in mind I will devote my time in the thankless search only on every other monday when its raining, as I think that will be adequate for the task..........................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What is Not my role on talk classical well let me think about that one for a while and I will get back to you in subsequent posts (plural), after much argument, pontificating, general composer bashing and atonal posturing..... and while I'm at it I think some more about the role of Wagner in the modern classical world and whether he a Cage would have ever got on and if Wagner would have liked 4'33" and / or atonal and 12 tone music too. Now thats a lot to think about so I'd better do some more thinking and contemplate the concept of role and talk classic separately then over many posts combine the two together very slowly, careful not to repeat myself or mix metaphors, watch for punctuation, spelling and the Talk Classical TOS. Oh and also make sure I don't mention any other musical web forums. In summing up I feel that this will be a long and arduous task which in some ways will be similar to the search for the holy grail from which I will take my inspiration, that will keep me going as I search for this quest and I might even along the way find the lost chord of something similar. Wish me luck on this quest as I take it on with a heavy heart and trepidation as I am not sure what will be the outcome of the long and thankless question to which I feel there will be many answers. So with all of that I will now embark on this duty in the knowledge that no one will really care what the outcome is and further more I hope that this will enlighten mankind in the coming centuries and help improve the common good for classical music. With that in mind I will devote my time in the thankless search only on every other monday when its raining, as I think that will be adequate for the task..........................


Yeah.What IS your role? :lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

What have you eaten lately?

A BT on a seedy poster interaction _role _with special TC sauce, and just a splash of sarcasm. All for $ 1.99.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here. Just want to say Happy 2018!!

I've never been late for anything.


----------



## Dim7

Do you pay attention to certain movements of works?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Do you pay attention to certain movements of works?


Only to the introductory exposition of a symphony and the final coda of the last movement. Those are the best parts.

Why do composers even bother writing the rest? Completely superfluous.


----------



## hpowders

Poll:

Which are you more addicted to:

Collecting CDs or mainlining smack.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: How do you like your composer polls:

1. A la carte

2. Prix fixe

Public poll. Be careful!


----------



## hpowders

Composer Poll: How would you like Clara Schumann:

1. With lipstick

2. With lipstick and lip gloss

3. Without lipstick and lip gloss

4. With a tattoo "ROBERT FOREVER" across her chest

5. I don't date women


----------



## hpowders

TC Séance Department:

The purpose of tonight's séance is to wake Chopin and ask him if he considered himself to be a genius or a mere dabbler in piano music. Join hands and let's begin!!


----------



## Bettina

Was Chopin a genie?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Was Chopin a genie?


This post may rub Artur Rubinstein the wrong way.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Was Chopin a genie?


I of course wish he wasn't.


----------



## hpowders

TC Advice Department: Best headphones to hasten early deafness? Money no object!!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What is Not my role on talk classical well let me think about that one for a while and I will get back to you in subsequent posts (plural), after much argument, pontificating, general composer bashing and atonal posturing..... and while I'm at it I think some more about the role of Wagner in the modern classical world and whether he a Cage would have ever got on and if Wagner would have liked 4'33" and / or atonal and 12 tone music too. Now thats a lot to think about so I'd better do some more thinking and contemplate the concept of role and talk classic separately then over many posts combine the two together very slowly, careful not to repeat myself or mix metaphors, watch for punctuation, spelling and the Talk Classical TOS. Oh and also make sure I don't mention any other musical web forums. In summing up I feel that this will be a long and arduous task which in some ways will be similar to the search for the holy grail from which I will take my inspiration, that will keep me going as I search for this quest and I might even along the way find the lost chord of something similar. Wish me luck on this quest as I take it on with a heavy heart and trepidation as I am not sure what will be the outcome of the long and thankless question to which I feel there will be many answers. So with all of that I will now embark on this duty in the knowledge that no one will really care what the outcome is and further more I hope that this will enlighten mankind in the coming centuries and help improve the common good for classical music. With that in mind I will devote my time in the thankless search only on every other monday when its raining, as I think that will be adequate for the task..........................


There is no way I'm reading all this.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> There is no way I'm reading all this.


Too bad. It's the first one of his that I understand.


----------



## hpowders

Richard Macduff said:


> Did someone dare to say "too many", and "polls" in the same sentence?


Hey Macduff. You try to harm Macbeth?


----------



## hpowders

I hear that the Bayreuth Wagner Festival is moving to La La Land. Can anyone confirm?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> I hear that the Bayreuth Wagner Festival is moving to La La Land. Can anyone confirm?


Confirmed. Ryan Gosling will be featured as Parsifal.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

What was the last milf you watched?


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Confirmed. Ryan Gosling will be featured as Parsifal.


Only because Lauritz Melchior is dead.


----------



## Bettina

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> What was the last milf you watched?


Martha Argerich.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Bettina said:


> Martha Argerich.


Well, that's technically a gilf.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Only because Lauritz Melchior is dead.


He's getting better.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> He's getting better.


Better than what? The only role he's good for now is a Tales From the Crypt skeleton.
A truly sad fall from grace.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Better than what? The only role he's good for now is a Tales From the Crypt skeleton.
> A truly sad fall from grace.


Better than dead.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Better than dead.


I go to church, hopefully to fulfill the promise of better than dead some day.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What is Not my role on talk classical well let me think about that one for a while and I will get back to you in subsequent posts (plural), after much argument, pontificating, general composer bashing and atonal posturing..... and while I'm at it I think some more about the role of Wagner in the modern classical world and whether he a Cage would have ever got on and if Wagner would have liked 4'33" and / or atonal and 12 tone music too. Now thats a lot to think about so I'd better do some more thinking and contemplate the concept of role and talk classic separately then over many posts combine the two together very slowly, careful not to repeat myself or mix metaphors, watch for punctuation, spelling and the Talk Classical TOS. Oh and also make sure I don't mention any other musical web forums. In summing up I feel that this will be a long and arduous task which in some ways will be similar to the search for the holy grail from which I will take my inspiration, that will keep me going as I search for this quest and I might even along the way find the lost chord of something similar. Wish me luck on this quest as I take it on with a heavy heart and trepidation as I am not sure what will be the outcome of the long and thankless question to which I feel there will be many answers. So with all of that I will now embark on this duty in the knowledge that no one will really care what the outcome is and further more I hope that this will enlighten mankind in the coming centuries and help improve the common good for classical music. With that in mind I will devote my time in the thankless search only on every other monday when its raining, as I think that will be adequate for the task..........................


Looks like this post completely sapped your strength. Follow me down the pithy path. It will set you free.


----------



## Scopitone

Dim7 said:


> Explained in the most long-winded way possible, what is NOT your "role" on Talk Classical?


My role is not Wotan.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> What was the last milf you watched?


I think Ryan Gosling was involved but I could be wrong...............


----------



## hpowders

Which European nation has the worst Pops Orchestra?


----------



## hpowders

Wouldn't the South Pole have the coolest concerts?


----------



## hpowders

Which pianist do you recommend for Bulgarian Ragtime?


----------



## hpowders

I had to take a bathroom break during a concert performance of Haydn's 94th Symphony and was surprised that the second movement was already over by the time I returned to my seat.

Discuss. Debate. Thread time limit: 3 months.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Spain is being infiltrated by Bulgarian musicians to improve the Spanish country's status as the worst country in Europe for classical music?


----------



## hpowders

President Trump just claimed that "torture works" during interrogation, so he will be asking soon for TC Wagner cultists to supply CDs of their favorite Wagner operas. 
"Should work better than thumbscrews", claimed Trump.

Debate. Discuss. Thread time limit: 18 months.

Please!! Stick to the music. No politics!!!


----------



## hpowders

The query has come up, can one self-rate one's own posted thread?

From the TC Management Committee:

One can only self-rate one's own thread if in the judgment of the Committee, a poster can be unanimously declared a

Master-Rater.


----------



## Scopitone

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> What was the last milf you watched?


Reese Witherspoon


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Reese Witherspoon


My condolences. Is there anyone in Hollywood more full of herself than "sweet" Reese?

When a cop pulled her over for speeding, Darling Reese: "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is Chopin a genie?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Should ragtime be considered a form of dress making?


----------



## hpowders

What's the odd stick I saw the conductor holding?

I thought it was really an odd thing.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which would you prefer:

1. A week in Vienna attending nightly concerts or operas.

2. A week in Costa Rica getting facial surgery to look just like Beethoven, performed by a dude following from the book, An Idiot's Guide to Plastic Surgery.

This is a public poll. Everybody can view your choice, so please be very, very careful.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Poll: Which would you prefer:
> 
> 1. A week in Vienna attending nightly concerts or operas.
> 
> 2. A week in Costa Rica getting facial surgery to look just like Beethoven, performed by a dude following from the book, An Idiot's Guide to Plastic Surgery.
> 
> This is a public poll. Everybody can view your choice, so please be very, very careful.


Reese Witherspoon


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Help me, I heard this song being played by a donkey on an accordion and wrote down the notes that it sang as it played but then I lost the piece of paper, HELP................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Looks like this post completely sapped your strength. Follow me down the pithy path. It will set you free.


Thanks for your concern, was out in the Hillman Hunter Safari Wagon yesterday with the local car club celebrating Oz day. I promise in future to make my posts short and pithy.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do you SAWC - Wax Cylinder?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Thanks for your concern, was out in the Hillman Hunter Safari Wagon yesterday with the local car club celebrating Oz day. I promise in future to make my posts short and pithy.............


Couldn't hurt. You are getting yourself into a pickle with the dissertations.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which of the Rhinemadens would you like to date?

P.S. If I arrange this for you, don't forget to Flosse.


----------



## hpowders

Which do you prefer?

1. Double reed oboe

2. Double reed bassoon

3. Harry Reed

4. Donna Reed

5. No thanks. I'd rather reed a book.


----------



## hpowders

Unusual key signatures.

Donald Trump recently autographed my front door key.


----------



## hpowders

Was Beethoven a composing genius or did he just get lucky?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Which do you prefer?
> 
> 1. Double reed oboe
> 
> 2. Double reed bassoon
> 
> 3. Harry Reed
> 
> 4. Donna Reed
> 
> 5. No thanks. I'd rather reed a book.


Oliver Reed thanks


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oliver Reed thanks


My favorite actor from Mandinga.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is Chopin a genie?


I think so. He was the genie with the light brown hair according to primitive photographs, which appear not to have been digitalized.


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is Chopin a genie?


Hey! Stop stealing my posts.  I already posted this yesterday (see post 13756). I really should copyright my posts to prevent this from happening again! :lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hey! Stop stealing my posts.  I already posted this yesterday (see post 13756). I really should copyright my posts to prevent this from happening again! :lol::lol:


I thought it looked familiar. He could have at least written "Is Mozart a genie" to help deflect his crime.

That's the most pathetic thing I ever heard of, plagiarizing a STI post. :lol::lol:


----------



## Bettina

Is Chopin a pickle or a matzoh ball? (Eddie, don't you dare plagiarize this masterpiece!) :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Did Andre Previn whisper sweet nothings in Anne Sophie Mutter's ear, causing her to reply "if you will!"???


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Did Andre Previn whisper sweet nothings in Anne Sophie Mutter's ear, causing her to reply "if you will!"???


Yeah Varese, I don't want to see this post buried on some obscure thread where I won't normally look!!!


----------



## hpowders

Amfortas' wound. Shouldn't they have called for a surgeon?

Debate. Discuss. Time limit 37 months.

Please, no politics; just the music.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Is Chopin a pickle or a matzoh ball? (Eddie, don't you dare plagiarize this masterpiece!) :lol:


Meatballs anyone, I'm Chopin.................


----------



## hpowders

Yes, tonight is a new high or low for STI, depending on your orientation.


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Meatballs anyone, I'm Chopin.................


You should change your username to FreddieRUKiddingChopin.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Was Chopin a genie?


Oh sugar and Spice and all things nice,oops but I did say IS Chopin-you know he is not dead yet.........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Meatballs anyone, I'm Chopin.................


I'm Chopin Karitz. Glad to meet you.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> You should change your username to FreddieRUKiddingChopin.


But that's not his real name.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The TC Top 100+ Recommended STI Liszt Vol IV


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is Zozart a genius?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

2017 Grand Slam Tiddlywinks


----------



## Pugg

Does trump have a green site on him?


----------



## Bettina

Pugg said:


> Does trump have a green site on him?


Probably not. Maybe orange, to match his hair. Or yellow, to match a certain..._interest _of his.


----------



## Pugg

Bettina said:


> Probably not. Maybe orange, to match his hair. Or yellow, to match a certain..._interest _of his.


More his skin, called spray tan.:lol:


----------



## hpowders

Did Justin Bieber purposely change the spelling of his last name to avoid being connected to his relative, the classical composer Heinrich Von Biber, because he didn't want to possibly ruin his career, being associated in any way with classical music?


----------



## hpowders

Which is the greater genius, Justin Bieber or Heinrich Von Biber?


----------



## hpowders

Poll:Which couldn't you stand for more than 4'33"?

1. Nicolas Cage

2. Lion cage

3. John Cage

4. Cage fighting

5. Other


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite harmonica sonatas?


----------



## hpowders

Favorite percussion instrument after piano, timpani, snare drum, triangle, block and celesta?


----------



## hpowders

Guidance counselor profession recommendations for hpowders after hpowders' high school aptitude test:

1. Shepherd abiding in the fields

2. Manger cleaner

3. Stupid Thread Idea poster

4. Shepherd imbibing in the fields


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that the Mexican revolutionary, Pancho Villa is still alive, changed his name to Pancho Vladigerov, and is hanging out in Bulgaria until President Trump quits looking for him?


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

hpowders said:


> Hey Macduff. You try to harm Macbeth?


We've since put aside our differences and taken up tennis together. Although one of the sessions turned sour when the beautiful Lady Macbeth came in. At first, I thought she wanted my head. She still does, but it was the wrong head.


----------



## hpowders

Richard Macduff said:


> We've since put aside our differences and taken up tennis together. Although one of the sessions turned sour when the beautiful Lady Macbeth came in. At first, I thought she wanted my head. She still does, but it was the wrong head.


Watch out for Lady Macbeth. Rumor has it she's a Trump supporter.


----------



## hpowders

An open plea for TC members to give President Trump a chance!!

He just started. Wait 100 days.

Torture, deporting all those who weren't born in the US, banning classical music, etc;

These are all new concepts.

Let's simply wait and see what happens.

Thank you!


----------



## hpowders

I'm a very happy person. My folks say, a little too happy. My father wants to know if you guys know some really heartbreaking Italian opera arias that could bring me down a bit...say to the Prozac stage. Thanks!


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that President Trump is planning on closing down all Mexican restaurants in the US?

It's okay by me. I like Chinese food much better.


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

hpowders said:


> Is it true that President Trump is planning on closing down all Mexican restaurants in the US?
> 
> It's okay by me. I like Chinese food much better.


Dammit! All of my investments in the development of new, innovative chimichangas are about being blown to complete an irreparable mess! I have to stop this presidency before I lose millions!

Millions of pesos, so it's not that big of a deal.


----------



## Dim7

What is the most bonebreaking Italian opera?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> What is the most bonebreaking Italian opera?


Verdi's Don Carlo. Takes place during the Spanish Inquisition when the rack was being used enthusiastically to force confessions from heretics. More broken bones than any other Italian opera.

Really burns me up that it's not performed more often.


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> What is the most bonebreaking Italian opera?


Tosca. You can't throw yourself off a parapet without breaking some bones!


----------



## Kieran

I think a great idea for a thread - or, _for all threads _- is that we post a reply for one thread in a totally different thread. So for example, in a thread named "Best Recordings of Mozarts K466" somebody might reply "Poulenc", which is actually a reply to a post they read in another thread named "Is there a philharmonic orchestra in Hawaii?"


----------



## Bettina

Kieran said:


> I think a great idea for a thread - or, _for all threads _- is that we post a reply for one thread in a totally different thread. So for example, in a thread named "Best Recordings of Mozarts K466" somebody might reply "Poulenc", which is actually a reply to a post they read in another thread named "Is there a philharmonic orchestra in Hawaii?"


Good idea! For the thread named "who is your favorite Wotan," I'm going to reply "Lang Lang."


----------



## Kieran

Bettina said:


> Good idea! For the thread named "who is your favorite Wotan," I'm going to reply "Lang Lang."


Beethoven began to go deaf around then, but still, that's no excuse for bad manners!

Ooop, sorry, _right_ thread?


----------



## Dim7

Kieran said:


> I think a great idea for a thread - or, _for all threads _- is that we post a reply for one thread in a totally different thread. So for example, in a thread named "Best Recordings of Mozarts K466" somebody might reply "Poulenc", which is actually a reply to a post they read in another thread named "Is there a philharmonic orchestra in Hawaii?"


http://www.talkclassical.com/groups/talk-nonsense-d748-wrong-thread.html


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Guidance counselor profession recommendations for hpowders after hpowders' high school aptitude test:
> 
> 1. Shepherd abiding in the fields
> 
> 2. Manger cleaner
> 
> 3. Stupid Thread Idea poster
> 
> 4. Shepherd imbibing in the fields


Reese Witherspoon


----------



## Kieran

Dim7 said:


> http://www.talkclassical.com/groups/talk-nonsense-d748-wrong-thread.html


I _knew_ it was a great idea! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Reese Witherspoon


You insult me, sire.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> You insult me, sire.


and how does Reese feel?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> and how does Reese feel?


I imagine she feels like a peanut butter cup is supposed to feel.

(Man, these setups are too easy!)


----------



## hpowders

I knew it! I knew it!

President Trump just said he will spread torture throughout the land.

As it involves TC: "A minimum of 65% of the threads must be about Wagner. No exceptions."

You voted for him. Now reap the consequences!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I imagine she feels like a peanut butter cup is supposed to feel.
> 
> Man, these setups are too easy!



Happy to help anytime


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I knew it! I knew it!
> 
> President Trump just said he will spread torture throughout the land.
> 
> As it involves TC: "A minimum of 65% of the threads must be about Wagner. No exceptions."
> 
> You voted for him. Now reap the consequences!!!


I can get him an uninterrupted supply of Vegemite to spread the torture..............:devil:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Happy to help anytime


I can always use the help!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I can get him an uninterrupted supply of Vegemite to spread the torture..............:devil:


That's mite generous of you.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I can always use the help!


 Noted......................................................................................................................................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Noted......................................................................................................................................


Yeah, like the score for 4'33".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Yeah, like the score for 4'33".


Or unnoted..............


----------



## hpowders

I knew it! Just got the email from DonaldTrump.gov.:

"Starting February 3rd, 2017, the Stupid Thread Ideas section of Talk Classical will be rolled over into the 'Wagner:do-gooder or anti-semite?' thread and Stupid Thread Ideas will be permanently locked with a pick proof mechanism.

Have a nice day."

Kellyanne Conway, 
my way/highway


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I knew it! Just got the email from DonaldTrump.gov.:
> 
> "Starting February 3rd, 2017, the Stupid Thread Ideas section of Talk Classical will be rolled over into the 'Wagner:do-gooder or anti-semite?' thread and Stupid Thread Ideas will be permanently locked with a pick proof mechanism.
> 
> Have a nice day."
> 
> Kellyanne Conway,
> my way/highway


Ha ha, that is only for US citizens, us Mexicans will be STI'ing like crazy................


----------



## Scopitone

"The primary purpose of TalkClassical is to discuss Lynyrd Skynyrd albums. We have always been at war with classical music.

Have a nice day."

Kellyanne Conway, 
my way/highway


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> I knew it! I knew it!
> 
> President Trump just said he will spread torture throughout the land.
> 
> As it involves TC: "A minimum of 65% of the threads must be about Wagner. No exceptions."
> 
> You voted for him. Now reap the consequences!!!


Poll: Threads Complaining About Wagner Threads

Good?
Bad?
Felgerkarp?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> "The primary purpose of TalkClassical is to discuss Lynyrd Skynyrd albums. We have always been at war with classical music.
> 
> Have a nice day."
> 
> Kellyanne Conway,
> my way/highway


Oh Dear, she is on to us. Can Neil Young Help...................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ha ha, that is only for US citizens, us Mexicans will be STI'ing like crazy................


Es una lástima, Gesualdo.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh Dear, she is on to us. Can Neil Young Help...................


Is Young Still with Crosby, Nash?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Can anyone help me find my missing sock? Last seen near the laundry basket.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Es una lástima, hermoso.


What ya sayin Cobber, the Pub's a beauty but pen and inks?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Is Young Still with Crosby, Nash?


Nah, I think he is an Old Man now.............


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Can anyone help me find my missing sock? Last seen near the laundry basket.


I'm using that sock. I'll be finished in 15 minutes.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Nah, I think he is an Old Man now.............


Sorry. I was out. Been out in the desert on a horse with no name.


----------



## hpowders

Mozart: 

Today, a birthday boy.

Tomorrow, just another run of the mill composer in 6th place for all-time on TC.


----------



## Bettina

Kieran said:


> Beethoven began to go deaf around then, but still, that's no excuse for bad manners!
> 
> Ooop, sorry, _right_ thread?


I'm eating crackers again.


----------



## Scopitone

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh Dear, she is on to us. Can Neil Young Help...................


I'm afraid he's helpless, helpless, helplesssssssssssssss.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> I'm afraid he's helpless, helpless, helplesssssssssssssss.


Very cool correct answer and definitely not on a horse with no name- That was America anyway, no matter how much its sounds like old shaky. Hey isn't that the new US Trumpet anthem..................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Very cool correct answer and definitely not on a horse with no name- That was America anyway, no matter how much its sounds like old shaky. Hey isn't that the new US Trumpet anthem..................


 Just another old group.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Can anyone help me find my missing sock? Last seen near the laundry basket.


I'm finished with the sock. I took it to the desert on a horse with no name.....
....."Cause there ain"t no one for to give you no pain.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'm finished with the sock. I took it to the desert on a horse with no name.....
> ....."Cause there ain"t no one for to give you no pain.


I think its in the Trump the Opera Thread now...............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I think its in the Trump the Opera Thread now...............


TC has a Trump the Opera thread? I really need to get out more.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC has a Trump the Opera thread? I really need to get out more.


The premiere is scheduled shortly in Mexico City, titled as Trumpo Espresso ..............


----------



## hpowders

Trump singing a song on America's Got Talent:

Oh I've been to the border on a horse with no name and it ain't as nice as my plane.


----------



## Dim7

one post, five thousand billion paintings


----------



## Dr Johnson

Scopitone said:


> I'm afraid he's helpless, helpless, helplesssssssssssssss.


On the other hand...


----------



## hpowders

Is it true Berg wrote the opera, Wassup? My frat. buddies ordered me to ask you.


----------



## Dim7

Murphy's lawn at the concert hall


----------



## hpowders

Rank these Rings (see photos):

1. Tiffany's

2. Michael C Fina

3. Jane Seymour Collection

4. Melania Trump's wedding band

5. Nibelungen 

6. Bathtub ring

7. Ring around a Rosy O'Donnell


----------



## hpowders

TC being investigated!!!

Now that President Trump has discovered that TC is the largest classical music forum in the world, he will be investigating it for anti-trust violations, possibly breaking it up into three distinct separate entities, 1.Wagner, 2. Atonal music 3. Vivaldi.


----------



## millionrainbows

Hi, I'm Stevie Ray Chopin. I can play the piano behind my back.


----------



## millionrainbows

Hi, I'm Bo Lerro. I go on and on…but I'm sexy.


----------



## millionrainbows

What are you wearing while you're listening?


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> TC being investigated!!!
> 
> Now that President Trump has discovered that TC is the largest classical music forum in the world, he will be investigating it for anti-trust violations, possibly breaking it up into three distinct separate entities, 1.Wagner, 2. Atonal music 3. Vivaldi.


No worries! He just remembered that he has $$ invested in TC.

TC is now exempt from all laws and regulations.


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> What are you wearing while you're listening?


None of your business! I'm not willing to Telemann what I'm wearing!!  :lol:


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Hi, I'm Stevie Ray Chopin. I can play the piano behind my back.


Can you do that with an oboe? Ob-oy!


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> No worries! He just remembered that he has $$ invested in TC.
> 
> TC is now exempt from all laws and regulations.


He probably does have money invested in TC. He may be the capo di tutti capi of all TC mods and not realize it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> No worries! He just remembered that he has $$ invested in TC.
> 
> TC is now exempt from all laws and regulations.


Yeah, Let throw a party and the cake in his face........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> What are you wearing while you're listening?


A coat designed in the style of 4'33".................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah, Let throw a party and the cake in his face........


You haven't even met the gentleman and you are already condemning him? What about his plan to merge New Zealand, Australia and Malaysia? That sounds good.


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> A coat designed in the style of 4'33".................


Nice answer! Your post definitely shows a _flash _of genius.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> You haven't even met the gentleman and you are already condemning him? What about his plans to merge New Zealand, Australia and Malaysia? That sounds good.


Any one with hair that Bad can't be good.............New Zealand, Australia and Malaysia- that just the entree were gunna become extensions of mainland China!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Nice answer! Your post definitely shows a _flash _of genius.


Well it worked for the Emperor.............


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Well it worked for the Emperor.............


Guess what I wear when I listen to the Emperor Concerto?


----------



## hpowders

Terrible mistake department.

President Trump misread his own directive. Instead of putting undesirable immigrants "6 feet under", he gave the order to send them "Down Under."

"I apologize for the 16,000,000 undesirables arriving tomorrow morning in Sydney, Perth and Melbourne. As a mistake, this was huge! Sorry!", Trump exclaimed.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Terrible mistake department.
> 
> President Trump misread his own directive. Instead of putting undesirable immigrants "6 feet under", he gave the order to send them "Down Under."
> 
> "I apologize for the 16,000,000 undesirables arriving tomorrow morning in Sydney, Perth and Melbourne. As a mistake, this was huge! Sorry!", Trump exclaimed.


Melbourne's south of the Border so they will feel right at home.............. Capital of Aussie Mexico.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Guess what I wear when I listen to the Emperor Concerto?


Naughty but nice............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Any one with hair that Bad can't be good.............New Zealand, Australia and Malaysia- that just the entree were gunna become extensions of mainland China!


In fact I'm sure Trumps hair is an Alien from Badhair-Centauri, determined to take over the world and now after MIB budget cuts to fund the Mexican Wall, only that fantastic new superhero "Studebaker Hoch" can save us............


----------



## hpowders

STI: Your place for the latest Trump directives:

"All those immigrants in flight from the Middle East, when my executive order to halt immigration officially went into effect,
you have several choices:

1. Beg the pilot to turn the plane around

2. Jump from the plane

3. Commit to a three year stint on the TC Wagner threads

4. Demand a re-count of the 33 states that I carried in the election, to see if Hillary won...but this choice is rather slim, Jim."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> In fact I'm sure Trumps hair is an Alien from Badhair-Centauri, determined to take over the world and now after MIB budget cuts to fund the Mexican Wall, only that fantastic new superhero "Studebaker Hoch" can save us............


In the next episode Dr Vlad (the Evil Impaler), will make his entrance like a queen and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous .........


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> STI: Your place for the latest Trump directives:
> 
> "All those immigrants in flight from the Middle East, when my executive order to halt immigration officially went into effect,
> you have several choices:
> 
> 1. Beg the pilot to turn the plane around
> 
> 2. Jump from the plane
> 
> 3. Commit to a three year stint on the TC Wagner threads
> 
> 4. Demand a re-count of the 33 states that I carried in the election, to see if Hillary won...but this choice is rather slim, Jim."


5. Commit to only listening to Wagner recordings, all of which must have been produced pre-1950.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> 5. Commit to only listening to Wagner recordings, all of which must have been produced pre-1950.


Trump: "Yeah, but those are some of the BEST Wagner performances!!! We want to PUNISH them for ever being born!!"

"I'm floating another idea among my advisors: One must commit to three years of having to listen to US Public Classical Radio, 15 minutes before every hour, so every possible Vivaldi Concerto.....
no, hold up....this is simply too cruel!!!"


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: Which is closest to "Torture"?

1. Water Boarding
2. US Classical Radio
3. The Stupid Thread Ideas thread


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which is closest to heaven:

1. Stupid Thread Ideas

2. The Stupid Thread Ideas Thread

3. STI

4. Outlawing the Wagner threads

5. Playing 4'33" on top of the Empire State Building


----------



## hpowders

Judge puts a temporary stay on President Trump's TC breakup!

Last night a Federal judge blocked the Trump Administration from breaking up TC into three distinct separate entities due to its size.

"Doesn't matter. We are going ahead and breaking up the over-sized TC site as planned into three smaller, more manageable entities: Wagner, Atonality and Vivaldi. It's one of President Trump's most important campaign promises." replied a Trump source, who spoke under condition of anonymity.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Singers that look suspiciously like house pets.


----------



## hpowders

Which sounds better?

1. Trump's acceptance speech

2. Hillary's concession speech

3. Platinum speaker wire

4. A singer who looks like a house pet

5. A great recorded performance in terrible sound


----------



## hpowders

Posters whose avatars look suspiciously like those of other posters.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Which sounds better?
> 
> 1. Trump's acceptance speech
> 
> 2. Hillary's concession speech
> 
> 3. Platinum speaker wire
> 
> 4. A singer who looks like a house pet
> 
> 5. A great recorded performance in terrible sound


A great recorded performance of a singer who looks like a house pet singing a counterpoint of Trump's and Hillary's speeches over platinum speaker wire in terrible sound?


----------



## hpowders

Which sounds best?

1.18k gold speaker wire

2. Copper speaker wire

3. Rhinestone speaker wire

4. 14k gold speaker wire

5. A compact stereo system with the switch turned "on".


----------



## hpowders

The best piano technique?

1. Liberace

2. Superficial beautiful pianist

3. Wanda Toscanini

4. Rubinstein doing Chopin from the 1920's in horrible sound


----------



## hpowders

Common key signatures-a list for members.


----------



## hpowders

Trump Report: "I've listened to the the people. You are sick and tired of waiting 3 seconds between "likes" on TC. I have changed this to 1.5 seconds between "likes". One of my major campaign promises. DONE!!"


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Should any classical music pieces currently thought of as masterpieces but containing the chord progression II-V-I be stripped of that status? (Asking for a friend of Frank Zappa's)


----------



## hpowders

Announcement from the STI committee: Anyone showing signs of intellectual tendencies will be permanently banned to 

"Which opera are you listening to now?"


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Announcement from the STI committee: Anyone showing signs of intellectual tendencies will be permanently banned to
> 
> "Which opera are you listening to now?"


*checks own posts*
*confirms posts sometimes in that thread*

Smart people listen to opera, beeyotches!


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> *checks own posts*
> *confirms posts sometimes in that thread*
> 
> Smart people listen to opera, beeyotches!


Yes, but the smartest people listen at home, where they have easy bathroom access.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Guess what I wear when I listen to the Emperor Concerto?


An Empress' tunic?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Yes, but the smartest people listen at home, where they have easy bathroom access.


I guess you haven't heard of adult diapers.


----------



## hpowders

Who has/had the best self-destructive technique?

1. Brahms
2. Schumann
3. Tchaikovsky
4. STI posters getting zero credit for posts
5. People who voted for Trump and realize they've created a monster
6. Posters on Wagner threads taking the position that Wagner was anti-semitic


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> I guess you haven't heard of adult diapers.


One needs to be an adult to use them.


----------



## hpowders

Would a terrible sounding Toscanini recording sound better if I use platinum speaker wire? Does Tiffany's sell it?


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Yes, but the smartest people listen at home, where they have easy bathroom access.


This is truth. 4+ hours of Wagner is rough on the ol' bladder.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Would a terrible sounding Toscanini recording sound better if I use platinum speaker wire? Does Tiffany's sell it?


I can lend you some Plutonium wire if that will help................... They say it does wonders and makes for an Earth Shattering performance!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I can lend you some Plutonium wire if that will help................... They say it does wonders and makes for an Earth Shattering performance!


Tiffany's doesn't stock it, sorry.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Tiffany's doesn't stock it, sorry.


Your loss will be someone else's blast......


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your loss will be someone else's blast......


I will just have to learn to live with the disappointment. I will add it to an already very long list.


----------



## hpowders

Mendelssohn vs. Schumann.

Pistols. 10 paces.

Let's find out once and for all.


----------



## hpowders

Hey boys and girls.

I will be on vacation for a couple of weeks starting in a few days. Won't have time for posting like I do at home. Don't even know if I will have computer access.

If you have any messages you want me to deliver to the Incas, let me know.

I will be back posting here again soon. 

I won't leave until the inca is dry.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Hey boys and girls.
> 
> I will be on vacation for a couple of weeks starting in a few days. Won't have time for posting like I do at home. Don't even know if I will have computer access.
> 
> If you have any messages you want me to deliver to the Incas, let me know.
> 
> I will be back posting here again soon.
> 
> I won't leave until the inca is dry.


Yeah, askem why they built the roads............. that woulda used all their Inca.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Hey boys and girls.
> 
> I will be on vacation for a couple of weeks starting in a few days. Won't have time for posting like I do at home. Don't even know if I will have computer access.
> 
> If you have any messages you want me to deliver to the Incas, let me know.
> 
> I will be back posting here again soon.
> 
> I won't leave until the inca is dry.


Watch out! Trump might not let you back into the U.S. Do you have an emergency plan *inca*se that happens?


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> This is truth. 4+ hours of Wagner is rough on the ol' bladder.


I know! It's hard to hold it, especially when the Rhine starts making all those rushing water sounds. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Watch out! Trump might not let you back into the U.S. Do you have an emergency plan *inca*se that happens?


Gosh, you might have scared him with that one.

I predict He'll be back in 4'33"..............


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I know! It's hard to hold it, especially when the Rhine starts making all those rushing water sounds. :lol:


Hard to hold it? Explain.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Gosh, you might have scared him with that one.
> 
> I predict He'll be back in 4'33"..............


Flight ticket is non-refundible. Forging ahead.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Watch out! Trump might not let you back into the U.S. Do you have an emergency plan *inca*se that happens?


Yeah. Drop me off in the heart of Vienna. Concerts and opera every day of the week.

I'm sure there are at least 2 performances every week of 4'33".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

You'll need a damn good gold cable from Peru to Vienna...........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Speaker Cables that have blown you away recently?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Creepy Wagner Rings to darken your night........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Missa Solemnis vs. Bucks Fizz


----------



## Granate

Top 10 times I mixed up Becca and Bettina for the same user


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How Intelligentsia are you? (Spanish Music Quiz)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

South Pole Rock


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Lost songs of St. Trumpa


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is Russia least musically talented nation of Europe?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Great female singers of the past who shave*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Which Composers were the Most Shaven?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Phantom of the Opera vs Trump the Opera


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

2017 4'33" Grand Slam


----------



## Bettina

Granate said:


> Top 10 times I mixed up Becca and Bettina for the same user


Sometimes I get confused about that too!! :lol: :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Granate said:


> Top 10 times I mixed up Becca and Bettina for the same user


I read this "Top 10 times I mixed up Bettina and Bettina for the same user".


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 2017 4'33" Grand Slam


So is this new font a thing with you now?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> So is this new font a thing with you now?


Yeah always a fan of hyper

*Stupid Thread Ideas*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: A carefully deranged poll


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: A carefully deranged poll


Stupid me. It is hyperlinks and here I thought it was just a font 

Best poll on TC, by the way


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Stupid me. It is hyperlinks and here I thought it was just a font
> 
> Best poll on TC, by the way


Thanks glad you like it, fits the bill for me...............


----------



## Granate

Favourite Tone Poem for Eurovision Song Contest 2017

Granate's Cage challenge - 4'33 (+100 RECORDINGS!)
...
_I loved to hear those children chatting and grinning. It gave me goosebumps._
*B+*
...

Giuseppe Verdi is dead!

Brexit, the String Quartet

Gürtel, the Zarzuela


----------



## Granate

Rule 34 in Classical Music: The Strauss Family
:devil:


----------



## millionrainbows

Trump might put a 20% tax on Mexican imports, so get your Conlon Nancarrow discs now.


----------



## Metairie Road

After watching one of the crap-science cable networks for a few minutes (a few minutes was all I could stand), it appears that aliens are only abducting idiots and ********. Why?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Metairie Road said:


> After watching one of the crap-science cable networks for a few minutes (a few minutes was all I could stand), it appears that aliens are only abducting idiots and ********. Why?


Either one of two things are going on here.

The Aliens are from the future and are seeking some sort of revenge or they are beer swillin banjo playin yokels who like that sort of thing.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Usefullness of terms like tonic and hair cream?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

The most overrated and underrated posts in TC history.


----------



## Granate

Two TC users split up after U1 does not hit like button at U2's Current Listening posts for one week.

It's like Whatsapp's Double check: Hit like to confirm you read it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Granate said:


> Two TC users split up after U1 does not hit like button at U2's Current Listening posts for one week.
> 
> It's like Whatsapp's Double check: Hit like to confirm you read it.


Do I get a Prize..................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bottom Ten Composers


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Like one and the other?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why is 4'33" quieter then Wagner's Rings - Discuss


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How About Your Dream Cast For Trump the Opera


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Like one and the other?


Mozart and Zozart.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Mozart and Zozart.


They should have a Artoff


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Do You Like Rabies?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Do You Like Rabies?


Only for 4'33"..........................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll:  Trump or Wagner?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is Glenn Gould the greatest astronaut of the 20th century


----------



## Dim7

Did you know that there are cities?


----------



## Bettina

Smokers who composed (and ones who did not)


----------



## Dim7

Everything that is happening in the universe currently - Come in and share!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Dim7 said:


> Everything that is happening in the universe currently - Come in and share!


Just this universe or all of them? It makes a difference, you know.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Who do you shave?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Who do you shave?










Better he got rid of the yellow thing on his head


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like GroundHog Babies?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Mendelssohn vs. GroundHogs


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Help me get 4'33"


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Help me get 4'33"


If you're not going to dig that silence, you're not going to love 4'33''- I mean, it's no use trying to love it for all the other stuff and gritting your teeth through the silence. Silence is an essential trait of 4'33".

Then, how could you learn to love that, if it doesn't come automatically? I can only write some poetry about it (but I won't)


----------



## Bettina

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> If you're not going to dig that silence, you're not going to love 4'33''- I mean, it's no use trying to love it for all the other stuff and gritting your teeth through the silence. Silence is an essential trait of 4'33".
> 
> Then, how could you learn to love that, if it doesn't come automatically? I can only write some poetry about it (but I won't)


Please do it! I want to see what a 4'33" poem looks like. Would it be a blank page?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Bettina said:


> Please do it! I want to see what a 4'33" poem looks like. Would it be a blank page?


I don't know, I hadn't thought much about it but now that you mentioned it yeah, seems like a blank page or several would be apt.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

4'33' - Poem by Doyen LinguaSounds. 
Sounds like 
(...) 
Sounds like heat death.

The audience wriggles and writhes: 
rustle, cough cough, taptaptap, anything to

Break the uncomfortable (...) 
Sounds like midnight winter 
At -273 celsius 
Seconds.

Follows all the rules 
Without any 
(music) .


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Can electric guitar be used as an instrument for destruction?


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 4'33' - Poem by Doyen LinguaSounds.
> Sounds like
> (...)
> Sounds like heat death.
> 
> The audience wriggles and writhes:
> rustle, cough cough, taptaptap, anything to
> 
> Break the uncomfortable (...)
> Sounds like midnight winter
> At -273 celsius
> Seconds.
> 
> Follows all the rules
> Without any
> (music) .


Wow! I had no idea that there actually was a poem about 4'33". This gives us a whole new topic for debate! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Wow! I had no idea that there actually was a poem about 4'33". This gives us a whole new topic for debate! :lol:


Yeah we can fill 433 more pages....................


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah we can fill 433 more pages....................


But first we need a poll :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Pugg said:


> But first we need a poll :lol:


Here it is! Poll: When you "listen" to 4'33", what do you do?

1. Wriggle
2. Writhe
3. Rustle
4. Coughcough
5. Taptaptap
6. Anything to break the uncomfortable...


----------



## Pugg

Bettina said:


> Here it is! Poll: When you "listen" to 4'33", what do you do?
> 
> 1. Wriggle
> 2. Writhe
> 3. Rustle
> 4. Coughcough
> 5. Taptaptap
> 6. Anything to break the uncomfortable...


I go for this one.


----------



## Granate

The connection between Bruckner, Smoker composers and eating during one of his concerts.


----------



## Pugg

Granate said:


> The connection between Bruckner, Smoker composers and eating during one of his concerts.


And smoking members.


----------



## Granate

Score composers exposed kids to a Stravinsky vocabulary and it subsequently morphed into Skrillex


----------



## millionrainbows

Oh, come on, just cut up some magazines and newspapers and reassemble them at random. This is 4'33" poetry.


----------



## Bettina

Recommendations for scared piano music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

If you put a cat inside your piano, Is it music?


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> If you put a cat inside your piano, Is it music?


That makes me think of this piece:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

When is Gods birthday?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Best and worst hair in classical?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What books are you currently burning?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Should ragtime be considered a form of timezone?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Should classical be considered a form of ragtime?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Should Wagner be considered a form of ragtime?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Should Wagner be considered a form of Franz Schubert?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Should Wagner be considered a form of Metal Music & Girls *
**?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

eating on a percussion instrument during a concert?


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> eating on a percussion instrument during a concert?


The percussionist might be eating some chicken drumsticks...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Should Wagner be considered a form ofMetal Music & Girls *
> **?*


This is just another part of my Considered Ring Cycle.......


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> The percussionist might be eating some chicken drumsticks...


As long as he keeps a tempo I guess, if its peri peri he might get a bit hot............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How Intelligentsia are you? (Trump Music Quiz)


----------



## Pugg

Unpleasant memories of CD'S


----------



## Jos

Can we merge the threads "Intellectual property and ethics" and "Cassette Tapes on a comeback???" ?


----------



## Kivimees

Do babies like you?

If not, do babes like you?


----------



## Kivimees

What were you doing the day before yesterday?


----------



## Bettina

Kivimees said:


> What were you doing the day before yesterday?


Same as today, same as yesterday...it's like Groundhog Day all over again! :lol:


----------



## Kivimees

Make Telemann great again!


----------



## Bettina

Kivimees said:


> Make Telemann great again!


To make Telemann sound great, we have to ban all the music written by Bach and Handel.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> To make Telemann sound great, we have to ban all the music written by Bach and Handel.


Thats easy you just gotta now how to Handel Bach............... Oh, almost forgot to Telemann!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jos said:


> Can we merge the threads "Intellectual property and ethics" and "Cassette Tapes on a comeback???" ?


"Cassette property ethics and Intellectual comeback Tapes"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Should ragtime be considered a form of Arkansas grass?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Best and worst Whigs in classical?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Top 10 composer babies.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Do you like baby Mozart?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Baby Mozart vs baby Beethoven - who is cuter?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Composer Babies - who was the most Political????


----------



## Dim7

How to tell if a baby might become a Nazi when it grows up


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Dim7 said:


> How to tell if a baby might become a Nazi when it grows up


If the baby likes Wagner and Bruckner and begins sketching the outline for a book called My Struggles?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> How to tell if a baby might become a Nazi when it grows up


No Idea, tell me now or else..............


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Do you like b**bies?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Should babies be considered a form of **ragtime**?*


----------



## Bettina

Have you ever been booed at a concert?


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> How to tell if a baby might become a Nazi when it grows up


If its first word is "Heil."


----------



## Bettina

Pieces that have never blown you away?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Bettina said:


> Have you ever been booed at a concert?


Well, there was that one time when the whole audience but me was giving the orchestra a standing ovation and I think the first trombonist was giving me the evil eye.


----------



## Pugg

Bettina said:


> Pieces that have never blown you away?


Now this one is very good.......:lol:


----------



## Pugg

New remastered ( insert name) box set......


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> New remastered ( Zozart as a baby) box set......


Gee need more characters


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your favorite Dictator

My would be The Dictators The Dictators - Wikipedia


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favorite Dictator
> 
> My would be The Dictators The Dictators - Wikipedia


I know who my _least _favorite is, but I'm not supposed to talk about current politics in this thread...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> I know who my _least _favorite is, but I'm not supposed to talk about current politics in this thread...


But the Dictators are an American Punk Band........................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Zozartoven-like flow of ideas


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who is you favourite Musical Deity....................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Music and Sport, Compare and discuss..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*JS Bach and Genghis Khan*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What happened to Russian classical music between Potatoes and Perestroika?


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *JS Bach and Genghis Khan*


Which of them fathered more children?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Which of them fathered more children?


Goodness knows...................................................


----------



## millionrainbows

Henry Cowell and Aaron Copland…which of them fathered more children? (trick question)


----------



## Dim7

Moronic property and ethics


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Terminology for sixty ninth chords


----------



## millionrainbows

Sixty-ninth chords: an intense harmonic and aural experience, sometimes resulting in multiple, intense explosion-bursts of harmonic sound occurring in succession, leaving the participants in a satisfied, tremulous awareness of color-tone, vibration, and sound-texture. Rinse, and repeat.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your top 10 TC Top100 EXCLUDING the most hyped ones


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What do you think about music fools?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why BMW 2002 Adagio and BMW M1 Arioso


----------



## Guest

How do people in other countries understand each other when they don't speak English?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: The Worst Incomplete Masterpieces


----------



## Dim7

The Greatest Incompetent Masterpieces


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

The Greatest Complete Duds.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Poll: What do you like more, Shoes or Golf?

1. Shoes
2. Golf
3. Shoeless golf
4. Meow
5. All of the above


----------



## Metairie Road

An exclusive thread for subscribers with more than 5000 posts.


----------



## Pugg

What: no Eddie today?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Clint Eastwood's 44 Magnum or Ravel's Magnum Opus?


----------



## hpowders

Music Attorneys of Talk Classical, Inc.

Anyone who has suffered a heart attack due to being shocked and surprised by the second movement of Haydn's Symphony No. 94 in G Major, please call.

We get money for you straight from the Haydn Estate.

No need to suffer in silence anymore.


----------



## hpowders

Finishing the Piano

Okay. I finished all the Czerny books, so I'm done with piano. Vrtuoso level in two years.

What should I try next. Oboe?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> What: no Eddie today?


50 Deg C was too much for me.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Poll: Clint Eastwood's 44 Magnum or Ravel's Magnum Opus?


Did you find any good Inca Roads or Aliens, Illegal or otherwise..................??


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Did you find any good Inca Roads or Aliens, Illegal or otherwise..................??


I had a delicious bowl of Lima bean soup at the Capital Diner in Peru.

The problem is that when I got back to Florida, I found the same soup at Panera Bread for about three Aussie Dollars.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I had a delicious bowl of Lima bean soup at the Capital Diner in Peru.
> 
> The problem is that when I got back to Florida, I found the same soup at Panera Bread for about three Aussie Dollars.


So you didn't need to go so far for soup....................... Wow!

Oh three Aussie Dollars,,,,,,,,,, are you now trading in Aussie dollars over there, gosh things must be tough, next it will rum rations, just like in the good old days!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> So you didn't need to go so far for soup....................... Wow!
> 
> Oh three Aussie Dollars,,,,,,,,,, are you now trading in Aussie dollars over there, gosh things must be tough, next it will rum rations, just like in the good old days!


In honor/honour of Trump contacting your leader.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> In honor/honour of Trump contacting your leader.


Oh good, you mean our President, as he was referred to, isnt his name Trumble, Trumpet or something.............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh good, you mean our President, as he was referred to, isnt his name Trumble, Trumpet or something.............


No. You are typically confusing Australian politics with the Star Trek episode, The Trouble with Tribbles.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh good, you mean our President, as he was referred to, isnt his name Trumble, Trumpet or something.............


Yes. Trump wanted to know if he could dump some American undesirables in the Outback. You know-murderers, rapists, classical music listeners. The usual suspects.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Yes. Trump wanted to know if he could dump some American undesirables in the Outback. You know-murderers, rapists, classical music listeners. The usual suspects.


They will fit in nicely, I'll brew them up some Kanga Tail soup.......


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> No. You are typically confusing Australian politics with the Star Trek episode, The Trouble with Tribbles.


Are their Klingons in the Whitehouse.............??


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do you prefer Lords Ring or 'Wagner of the Ring


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> They will fit in nicely, I'll brew them up some Kanga Tail soup.......


You get too close to their Cage, you will roo the day.


----------



## hpowders

John McEnroe on hearing his first Wagner Ring with Alberich, Fasolt, Fafner and the rest of this illustrious group:

*"YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!!"*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> You get too close to their Cage, you will roo the day.


Even for 4'33", Wallaby how much can a Koala bare..........


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which do you prefer:

German dressing or Russian dressing?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Poll: Which do you prefer:
> 
> German dressing or Russian dressing?


Is this with American or English food??????????????


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is this with American or English food??????????????


Just with a bottle of Rheingold beer.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is this with American or English food??????????????


Tonight I'm having some good American food. Porterhouse steak served with some deportation sauce and cancelled passport potatoes.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Just with a bottle of Rheingold beer.


Nice a Whitehouse favourite no doubt................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Nice a Whitehouse favourite no doubt................


Trump allegedly doesn't drink alcohol.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Trump allegedly doesn't drink alcohol.


You know I kinda guessed that already but I hear he puts it to good use............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Starting the pizza


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Black Hole
Need more characters


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: The Greatest Incomplete Pizzas


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Stradivari and Guarneri violins, which crushes more easily?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Describing the Differences between Baroque and Broke

*Link please?.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Boring old Romantic Music or Groovy Modern Contemporary Classical Music ?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Does anybody else in here find zzaJ to be Jazz backwards?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Will You Celebrate Valentine's Day Massacre?


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 50 Deg C was too much for me.............


Whilst reading 50 shades...... ?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Whilst reading 50 shades...... ?


Shade over the sun would been good


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Shade over the sun would been good


All jokes aside, must be horrible such high temperature ?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> All jokes aside, must be horrible such high temperature ?


Is ok as long as you stay in the pool..............


----------



## hpowders

Schoenberg, Puccini or Wagner? Rhinestones, Diamonds or Coal?

Debate discuss. No rancor/rancour within 2 miles/3 km of TC please.


----------



## Jos

Thank goodness, Hpowders is back.
The level of STI was dropping at an alarming rate. Google indexing was down, it affected TC in general.
Hopefully your short absence was invigorating and inspiring. Keep up the good work


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Mahler or Melons?


----------



## hpowders

Jos said:


> Thank goodness, Hpowders is back.
> The level of STI was dropping at an alarming rate. Google indexing was down, it affected TC in general.
> Hopefully your short absence was invigorating and inspiring. Keep up the good work


Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

I often disappear and I'm Offenbach.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Mahler or Melons?


Depends on where the melons are located.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Depends on where the melons are located.


Good Point(s)..............................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Good Point(s)..............................


However, I must admit, even two well-placed, sweet delicious melons, would not have the same deep emotional impact on me as Mahler's Sixth Symphony.

NO????

WTF is wrong with me???


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Mozart - in an Morris A minor*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> However, I must admit, even two well-placed, sweet delicious melons, would not have the same deep emotional impact on me as Mahler's Sixth Symphony.
> 
> NO????
> 
> WTF is wrong with me???


I'll take the Melons................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Mozart - in an Morris A minor*


He also wrote some nice variations in an A Major piano sonata. Good enough for 6th place, all time on TC.


----------



## hpowders

If Mozart found out he was in sixth place all-time on the TC Greatest Composers list, could that have caused him an early, pre-mature death?

I just want to know why.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Weird Classical Musician Images

Post no.1: Mine is Rudolf Serkin ON the Rolling Stones.

What's yours?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> If Mozart found out he was in sixth place all-time on the TC Greatest Composers list, could that have caused him an early, pre-mature death?
> 
> I just want to know why.


Ah, That's what the Aliens want us to believe...................


----------



## hpowders

Political Section:

Favorite Trump Stories:

Grandbaby Trump: I wanna see the new aliens movie!!!

Trump: No!!! Movies about illegal murderers and rapists are boring.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Political Section:
> 
> Favorite Trump Stories:
> 
> Grandbaby Trump: I wanna see the new aliens movie!!!
> 
> Trump: No!!! Movies about illegal murderers and rapists are boring.


What if the Aliens wear a GOP hat.......................


----------



## Jos

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'll take the Melons................


For Eddie; my favourite FZ guitar track.






upload foto


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What if the Aliens wear a GOP hat.......................


Trump: We'll sit in the Bach. It's gonna be big, believe me!

Trump Grandbaby: We never sit in the Bach. You cannot be serious!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why Don't Ostriches Memorize The Music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jos said:


> For Eddie; my favourite FZ guitar track.
> 
> /QUOTE]
> 
> Very cool, here is another version


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Why Don't Ostriches Memorize The Music?


Because it would make them too egg-cited?


----------



## hpowders

Trump Support Group Club

Hi. Welcome everybody!

The thing I like about President Trump is you will never catch him wearing a Hillary Clinton Pence suit.

What do the other members of this Group like about him?


----------



## hpowders

Super-Senior Forum

Memories of hard wax cylinders.

Discuss your favorite performances from 1903-1914.

How does the sound compare to digital?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Super-Senior Forum
> 
> Memories of hard wax cylinders.
> 
> Discuss your favorite performances from 1903-1914.
> 
> How does the sound compare to digital?


Sounds and waxes lyrical to me.................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your top 10 teners EXCLUDING the most hyped bank notes


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your top 10 teners EXCLUDING the most hyped bank notes


The answer is pounding on my brain. I'll have it for you in a minute. I have a yen for these things.

Lire-ical or dramatic tenors?


----------



## hpowders

Has anyone ever heard of Parmesan for a Dead Princess?

I can't find it anywhere. Thanks for the help.


----------



## hpowders

TC Verification Department

Can anyone verify that Francois Couperin was supposedly a Tombeauy? If so, did he eventually outgrow it?


----------



## hpowders

The greatest deceased classical music scholars and how to reach them by séance.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Favorite Bach Passions

1. St. Matthew

2. Making children

3. St. John

4. St. Rudolf

5. Playing his organ

6. Constructing the Brandenburg Gate


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Poll: Favorite Bach *Passions*


To be fair, he was usually well tempered.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> To be fair, he was usually well tempered.


 Which just may explain all the children.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders at mental hospital for the posting insane:

Please help!! They just changed the name over here, from Well-Tempered Clavier to Well-Adjusted Clavier.

They cannot be serious!!!


----------



## hpowders

Have you ever booed an incomplete work at a concert?


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Have you ever booed an incomplete work at a concert?


No, but I saw a guy get up and boo at 2'22" during a performance of 4'33", and walk out.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> hpowders at mental hospital for the posting insane:
> 
> Please help!! They just changed the name over here, from Well-Tempered Clavier to Well-Adjusted Clavier.
> 
> They cannot be serious!!!


The Well-Behaved Clavier…The Properly Medicated Clavier...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> The Well-Behaved Clavier…The Properly Medicated Clavier...


Too much altar wine again.................


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Too much altar wine again.................


How do you know? Give the guy the benefit of the doubt. After all, he WAS an altar boy. Maybe it was priest abuse...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> How do you know? Give the guy the benefit of the doubt. After all, he WAS an altar boy. Maybe it was priest abuse...


Did he abuse Priests too .................. the list is growing!


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Did he abuse Priests too .................. the list is growing!


No, no, no, He's a victim! call in the Special Victims Unit before he murders someone in revenge...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> No, no, no, He's a victim! call in the Special Victims Unit before he murders someone in revenge...


Can I get to see Mariska Hargitay, if so do some more bad stuff Hpowders...........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll:  Ukraine vs Russian music


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Can I get to see Mariska Hargitay, if so do some more bad stuff Hpowders...........


Yes, I like Mariska. I can see the Jayne Mansfield in her, and I'd like to show her the more pleasant side of sex.

Meanwhile, more special victims accrue…when will the madness cease?


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Ravel lived in a Havel?


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Poll:  Ukraine vs Russian music*


How can you LIKE Russian music? Look at all the things Putin has done...


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll:  Ukraine vs Russian music


Putin has invaded Ukraine to annex all their great composers but he ain't exactly russian to do this. This invasion is taking way too long!


----------



## millionrainbows

News Item: Man suffers hearing enhancement after listening to 4'33" too many times, too loudly…His hearing is now so acute, so sensitive, that he is forced to listen to Metallica at high volume to balance-out the effect...


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Can I get to see Mariska Hargitay, if so do some more bad stuff Hpowders...........


She's a fine looking lass. Jane Mansfield's daughter before Jane got decapitated.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Putin has invaded Ukraine to annex all their great composers but he ain't exactly russian to do this. This invasion is taking way too long!


sssssh don't say too much and give that Kim Ill Bloke any Ideas, next he'll be moving on France, Germany and Russia to claim their composers as his own.........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> She's a fine looking lass. Jane Mansfield's daughter before Jane got decapitated. Proves she gave head.


Good that will bring the SVU down on us and we can meet her...............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> sssssh don't say too much and give that Kim Ill Bloke any Ideas, next he'll be moving on France, Germany and Russia to claim their composers as his own.........


How can you tell who the leader of North Korea is?

He's the one wearing the coat.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> How can you tell who the leader of North Korea is?
> 
> He's the one wearing the coat.


Think He'll need the coat of invisibility one day.........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Good that will bring the SVU down on us and we can meet her...............


That's really a sign of extreme desperation!! :lol::lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> That's really a sign of extreme desperation!! :lol::lol:


and ............................................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> and ............................................


You're getting a-head of yourself.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> You're getting a-head of yourself.


But such a nice head, my precious.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Usefullness of terms like hair tonic and dandruff?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Accidents happening right now!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

The Underwear Thread: what are you wearing right now?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> But such a nice head, my precious.............


Sorry, I'm married. If I flirt with you any more, I may get scalped.

_Tom_ watches me like _A __Hawk._


----------



## hpowders

Russian music or German Panzer tanks.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> The Underwear Thread: what are you wearing right now?


My brief-case is empty, if you catch my drift, soldier.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Sorry, I'm married. If I flirt with you any more, I may get scalped.
> 
> _Tom_ watches me like _A __Hawk._


So Tom is a Hawk - Kinda kinky and I'm sure Bettina will be sorry to hear that too


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bach Ache and Pains


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Bach Ache and Pains


So recurring aches and pains are the ones that tend to be Offenbach?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which do you prefer? 4'33" conducted by Pierre Boulez or Arturo Toscanini?

Better sound vs. more intense performance?


----------



## hpowders

Where can I get a photo chart of all TC members? I'd like to match the posting styles to the photos. Is this available only to TC Premium members?

I want to find out if EdVarese is a geezer.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Where can I get a photo chart of all TC members? I'd like to match the posting styles to the photos. Is this available only to TC Premium members?
> 
> I want to find out if EdVarese is a geezer.


----------



## Granate

hpowders said:


> Super-Senior Forum
> 
> Memories of hard wax cylinders.
> 
> Discuss your favorite performances from 1903-1914.
> 
> How does the sound compare to digital?


Young Millennials Forum

Memories of playing Pokémon in Game Boy Color. Which Pokémon did you choose first? Water, Fire, or Plant?

Favourite 1990s Anime theme songs vs Disney Channel teen musicals 2005-2012.

How come don't you wear earpods or bluetooth headphones?


----------



## Granate

Top 10 Doraemon Lieder in 32bit audio quality


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Top 10 Edison phonograph recordings in 24/192kHz


----------



## Granate

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Top 10 Edison phonograph recordings in 24/192kHz


Remastered in Pristine XR Ambient Stereo


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> Remastered in Pristine XR Ambient Stereo


What a coincidence! My parents told me they would have named me Pristine if I turned out to be a girl, so that they could make a clean break from me.


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> Remastered in Pristine XR Ambient Stereo


Did you know that escaped slaves usually wound up being re-mastered?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Did you know that escaped slaves usually wound up being re-mastered?


8 bit I presume..................................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 8 bit I presume..................................


Only the pristine ones were kept. The rest were sent downriver to a life of hell beyond the firewall to be TC Wagner posters. Many took cyanide to avoid this fate.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Only the pristine ones were kept. The rest were sent downriver to a life of hell beyond the firewall to be TC Wagner posters. Many took cyanide to avoid this fate.


I'm waiting for the Wagner posters reply to that one...................... think a 100 pages later!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm waiting for the Wagner posters reply to that one...................... think a 100 pages later!


They are the descendants of the condemned.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Wagner Solo Ring


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do you like car parks?


----------



## Pugg

Trump the final countdown.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Trump the final countdown.


Is that a song by Europe.............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Do you like car parks?


I used to like Bert Parks. He MC-ed the Miss America pageants.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is that a song by Europe.............


Wow! A whole continent that can sing in unison?


----------



## hpowders

I was reaching for 4'33", couldn't do it and reached for any Lady Gaga album I could find instead.

Says a lot.


----------



## hpowders

The ending of Mahler 3.

DAM DUM DAM DUM DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! (Crescendo).

Comments?


----------



## hpowders

I was about to post on the main forum, couldn't do it and instead posted thrice on Stupid Thread Ideas.

Says a lot.


----------



## hpowders

Suggest me immolations!

I already heard the one in Götterdämmerung. Far out, man!


----------



## Totenfeier

The Needle and Thread.

Sew...vinyl? Or rip your music?

Discuss.


----------



## Pugg

Totenfeier said:


> The Needle and Thread.
> 
> Sew...vinyl? Or rip your music?
> 
> Discuss.


let's do a poll first.


----------



## Dim7

Famous people with names


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

The last thing you killed.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

The greatest piece of cheese you've eaten.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Dim7 said:


> Famous people with names


And a sister thread - famous people with no names


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Wow! A whole continent that can sing in unison?


Yes. They got their motivation after they heard Antarctica's rendition of 4'33''.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> The greatest piece of cheese you've eaten.


Velveeta, Summer of '82. One of my Kraftiest selections.


----------



## hpowders

Moving a piano. Suggestions?

I played for my Yamaha the Tchaikovsky Symphony No. 6, but it remained unmoved.


----------



## hpowders

Problem loading a thread?

Call the Cybermovers!! No job is too small! No thread is too heavy!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Wow! A whole continent that can sing in unison?


I'd like to hear that..............

We're heading for Venus (Venus)
And still we stand tall
'Cause maybe they've seen us (seen us)
And welcome us all, yeah
With so many light years to go
And things to be found (to be found)
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so
It's the final countdown
The final countdown
The final countdown
The final countdown
Oh
The final countdown


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Yes. They got their motivation after they heard Antarctica's rendition of 4'33''.


I was there and it was a chilling experience................


----------



## hpowders

Where's the head mod's office?

I'm really annoyed and have to speak to him!!


----------



## hpowders

I could have sworn I heard Johannes Brahms emote on an old recording, in Northern accented German, "I'm definitely doing this, so don't give me any static about it!!"


----------



## hpowders

Hey performers!!!

Have you ever been booed at a concert? If so, why?


----------



## hpowders

Social Experiment:

Two polls:

Stravinsky or Cage

Cage or Stravinsky

I want to see if name placement is a significant statistical variable.

Results on Tuesday.


----------



## hpowders

Looking for an un-nozze-ed girl who likes classical music, perhaps leading to le nozze, some day.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Rachmaninoff vs Rachwomaninoff


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Shosgivovich vs Shostakovich


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Unusual performances/ recording methods Thread

1. Using a medium to recreate great Operatic performances of the past

2. Synchronised cow mooing of Beethoven's 5th

3. ....................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Unusual performances/ recording methods Thread
> 
> 1. Using a medium to recreate great Operatic performances of the past
> 
> 2. Synchronised cow mooing of Beethoven's 5th
> 
> 3. ....................


Just thinking of the Beethoven makes me cow-er, unless the performance would be led by Carlos Kleiber.


----------



## hpowders

I complained to my MD that I have insomnia and he prescribed one hour from 8 PM to 9 PM reading TC Wagner thread posts. 

What a genius! Slept like a baby, instead of gazing all night at my clock.


----------



## hpowders

Should you have the music you've heard "memorialized"?

Call Classical Monuments. We have fitting headstones for the music you've loved and will never forget.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Should you have the music you've heard "memorialized"?
> 
> Call Classical Monuments. We have fitting headstones for the music you've loved and will never forget.


4'33"..............................................................


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Should you have the music you've heard "memorialized"?
> 
> Call Classical Monuments. We have fitting headstones for the music you've loved and will never forget.


Should the Ring Cycle get four headstones or just one?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Should the Ring Cycle get four headstones or just one?


hpowders would really like 4 of those


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Desperately seeking Zozart!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like This Poll (Part 12)?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

UnRavel - Orchestra works


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 4'33"..............................................................


Special order. First request. Unprepared. 6 weeks.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Do You Like This Poll (Part 12)?


Polls:

Do you like this poll and love classical music?

Do you love this poll and like classical music?

Do you love polls so much that you wake up at 4 AM just to be first poster to find out the final poll results?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Should the Ring Cycle get four headstones or just one?


Four headstones. In ascending order, smallest to largest monuments(we look down on calling them "stones") would be Das Rheingold, Die Walküre, Siegfried and Götterdämmerung.

We can have the Rheingold monument finished in about 2 hours without a break. The others, about 5 hours each with two breaks for Celestial Seasons English Breakfast Tea.

Discounts available for those with 75+ posts on the TC Wagner threads.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> UnRavel - Orchestra works


Mystery solved or as Handel would say, Mystery solve-ed.


----------



## hpowders

Do dissertation-style posters prefer Mahler to Mozart?


----------



## hpowders

Do pithy posters prefer Mozart to Mahler?


----------



## hpowders

Do you hear voices when listening to the Bach WTC fugues?

Scary stuff!


----------



## hpowders

Drug free insomnia solution!!

Buy my 2 hour loop of all the Bach recitatives from the Masses and Cantatas.

Never any unsatisfied customers!


----------



## hpowders

Solo violin arrangement of Wagner's Ring.

Where can I purchase this?


----------



## Dim7

W.A. Mozart - his most minor case of slacking off?


----------



## millionrainbows

Avoid these sets; they are rip-offs.

Chopin: The Complete Symphonies
Mahler: The Complete Piano Sonatas


----------



## Granate

hpowders said:


> Solo violin arrangement of Wagner's Ring.
> 
> Where can I purchase this?


Oooh Sign me IN!


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> Oooh Sign me IN!


It's a very big box. Are you in good physical condition?


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Avoid these sets; they are rip-offs.
> 
> Chopin: The Complete Symphonies
> Mahler: The Complete Piano Sonatas


Also--Beethoven: The Complete Music for Prepared Piano


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Moving a recorder.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Also--Beethoven: The Complete Music for Prepared Piano


I wasn't quite prepared for that!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I wasn't quite prepared for that!


Yeah, Beethoven's music for prepared piano isn't very well-known. But it's quite good...Beethoven really understood the nuts and bolts of piano composition!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, Beethoven's music for prepared piano isn't very well-known. But it's quite good...Beethoven really understood the nuts and bolts of piano composition!


I wonder how he would have reacted to a Steinway model D concert grand being prepared for him.

I often ponder at the injustice-that we have all these great modern instruments at our disposal that Mozart, Haydn and Beethoven so deserved to have and didn't. So unfair!


----------



## Jos

Should Frederik Magle consider a new forum given the huge succes of STI ?


----------



## Granate

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> UnRavel - Orchestra works







Boom.


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Would you rather move a harpsichord or a piano?


----------



## hpowders

To those quoting Sir Thomas' hatred for the old, tinny harpsichords which are dinosaurs today and have nothing to do with HIP harpsichord restorations and recreations, I say:

Beach Him!!!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: Would you rather move a harpsichord or a piano?


Thank you for submitting this question to the Music Answer Man!

All I know is I left a harpsichord and piano together in the same room for 11 days when I went away, came back and found a fortepiano as an addition.

As long as the harpsichord and piano keep providing me with free instruments, I wouldn't move either one of them.

Yours,

The Music Answer Man


----------



## hpowders

Have you ever booed an armrest bully at a concert?


----------



## hpowders

Ear training Problem!

I used the same 5 pound weights, one on each ear, 5 sets of 10 reps of ear raises and my left ear is now bigger than my right ear. Anyhow, so this will help me understand music better than b4?


----------



## hpowders

As a person who seriously believes in value, shouldn't STI posts be credited and the posts in the Classical Music Discussion forum be uncredited? Seems they have it Bachwards.


----------



## hpowders

If Maria Callas was sitting in an audience of a performance of 4'33", would that make it a definitive performance and shoudn't that performance then be added to the Complete Maria Callas?


----------



## Dim7

Choose your favorite to see die


----------



## Dr Johnson

Composers who tried to blow up trains.


----------



## Totenfeier

Would the musical equivalent of Derridan deconstructionism be decomposition? Has anybody tried it, and did they survive?


----------



## Gordontrek

Hey guys, newbie here. I searched and I couldn't find a topic on this. Why is modern classical music poorly received?


----------



## Pugg

Gordontrek said:


> Hey guys, newbie here. I searched and I couldn't find a topic on this. Why is modern classical music poorly received?


We have to do a poll first.


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Desperately seeking Zozart!


Now we are searching for you Eddie.


----------



## millionrainbows

Cage at Beyreuth: The 4 day, 33 hour cycle

With special "Cage baffles" designed especially for the occasion


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which do you prefer as your Beethoven 32 Piano Sonatas?

1. Great performances and good liner notes.

2. Mediocre performances with phenomenal liner notes.

3. Good performances with no liner notes.

4. Lang Lang performances with German liner notes.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Composers you would like resurrected, after they have died first of course...............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Composers you would like resurrected, after they have died first of course...............


Sure, if a huge spray can of Glade is provided:

Then:

Just Vivaldi, so I could ask him if his pithy concertos were deliberately written as 10-15 minutes in length in anticipation of US Public Classical Radio using his music as time fillers, 15 minutes before the top of the hour news summary. Also, does his estate collect royalty payments every time Public Radio plays a Vivaldi Concerto.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Sure, if a huge spray can of Glade is provided:
> 
> Then:
> 
> Just Vivaldi, so I could ask him if his pithy concertos were deliberately written as 10-15 minutes in length in anticipation of US Public Classical Radio using his music as time fillers, 15 minutes before the top of the hour news summary. Also, does his estate collect royalty payments every time Public Radio plays a Vivaldi Concerto.


I would choose Bach, on the condition he made me his manager (and 50% split) then we could go and collect big time from all the record companies and rock muso that have borrowed his works.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I would choice Bach, on the condition he made me his manager (and 50% split) then we could go and collect big time from all the record companies and rock muso that have borrowed his works.


I wouldn't want Bach, because if I found out his hair was really a wig and he was actually completely bald, the trauma might cause me to curtail my TC posting.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Schoenberg was happily creating Wagner sound alikes when he got into an argument with his wife, Clarabella, who yelled, "I don't like your tone, Arnie!!". He took it as a criticism of his music, so he invented a 12 tone row?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Is it true that Schoenberg was happily creating Wagner sound alikes when he got into an argument with his wife, Clarabella, who yelled, "I don't like your tone, Arnie!!". He took it as a criticism of his music, so he invented a 12 tone row?


At least he stopped doing Wagner soundalikes, the world would be grateful for that..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Rachwomaninoff vs Shosgivovich


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> At least he stopped doing Wagner soundalikes, the world would be grateful for that..............


Yeah. That bloated awful stuff he used to compose early on, that Mahlerian swore by, put me to sleep. Much more interesting-his Piano Concerto and Violin Concerto.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Yeah. That bloated awful stuff he used to compose early on, that Mahlerian swore by, put me to sleep. Much more interesting-his Piano Concerto and Violin Concerto.


Thanks goodness for 12 tone then................


----------



## Bettina

Poll: which topic generates the most annoying comments?

1. Is 4'33" music?
2. Was Wagner a Nazi?
3. Is Rachmaninoff's orchestration muddy?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Thanks goodness for 12 tone then................


If you are mindful of the tenor of your postal tones on TC, you should be okay.


----------



## hpowders

15th Anniversary!!!

I just realized that today marks 15 years since I purchased Brahms Piano Concerto No. 2 with Rubinstein/Krips.

Time to paint the town tonight, perhaps followed by a trip to Tahiti!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Rare or Out of Print classical downloads you want


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Worst Opera Ever Written


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*The Best Polka Ever Written*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *The Best Polka Ever Written*


Five card draw?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The Worst Opera Ever Written


Hansel, Handel, Gretel and the Classical Music-Loving Mother Who Loved Them All.


----------



## Vaneyes

Cabbage rolls or coffee?


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Cabbage rolls or coffee?


But sir, you hardly even know me.


----------



## hpowders

Scarlatti Quiz:

1. Name the key signatures in order from 1 to 555.

2. How many of the sonatas are in a) C Major, b) D Major?

3. How many of the 555 sound better on harpsichord?

4. How many of the 555 sound better on piano?

5. How many of the 555 sound better on accordian?

6. How many of the 555 would sound better by adding 2 trumpets and a flute?

7. Scarlatti's first name? (Hint: It is NOT Bettino.)

8. Congrats. if you got this far! Next quiz on Vivaldi coming soon.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Should the phrase Pure and Simple be combined into one word, Pimple, for brevity?


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Should the phrase Pure and Simple be combined into one word, Pimple, for brevity?


Very pus-picacious of you.


----------



## Dim7

Top 10 favorite funerals you've attended


----------



## hpowders

As a 12 tone composer, would it be wise for Mozart to change his name to Mozaberg, to demonstrate his legitimate commitment to the cause?

(Note: Mozaball was already taken.)


----------



## hpowders

Verdi's Rigoletto as the fifth opera of Wagner's Ring.

Time limit is 8 months, before I have to move on as the host of this thread.


----------



## hpowders

I'm a composer and I arranged 4'33" for prepared piano. I feel it is better than the original. Opinions? I have thick skin. Really, I do. My doctor says it's psoriasis.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> I'm a composer and I arranged 4'33" for prepared piano. I feel it is better than the original. Opinions? I have thick skin. Really, I do. My doctor says it's psoriasis.


How is your piano prepared? Roasted or baked?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Rachmaninov vs anyone else


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bach favorite Passionfruits


----------



## Granate

The Strange Magic of 'O Sole Mio' and why a friend told me yesterday it was his favourite opera aria.


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

Looking for Handel's Waterboarding Musik. Can't find it. Is it out of print?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> Top 10 favorite funerals you've attended


Hard to top Siegfried's funeral held at Hagen's Funeral Castle.

The lemon Rhined cake served at the Wake was delicious!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Help needed:
> 
> Looking for Handel's Waterboarding Musik. Can't find it. Is it out of print?


Doesn't Trump have all the copies?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Rachmaninov vs Rachmaninoff


----------



## hpowders

Tchaïkovski vs. Tchaikovsky


----------



## Dr Johnson

Lew Soloff vs Loose Olaf.


----------



## hpowders

Die Meistersinger as the sixth opera of the Ring following the fifth, Parsifal.

Note: only registered Wagner posters may post on this thread.

How does one become a registered Wagner poster, you ask?

Simply score 85 or higher on the TC Wagner aptitude test and make sure you do your homework before posting, as you will be called out in a most insensitive way for not doing so.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Rachakovich vs Shostmaninoff


----------



## millionrainbows

Rachmanninoff: The first composer with a burr haircut?


----------



## millionrainbows

Q: Which is the best music for making love: Bolero, or Moses und Aaron?

A: It depends on if you're into S&M.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^ I'll take Stockhausen or maybe even ASLSP


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bachmaninoff vs Mozartakovich


----------



## millionrainbows

The most popular music in VA hospitals: Stockhausen's Helicopter Quartet. The sit and listen to it with rapt attention, all night long...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do you like the sound of the saxichord?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

W.A. Zozart - his greatest work?


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> W.A. Zozart - his greatest work?


His zither zonatas.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Manranaway vs Stashallofit


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Shostmaninoff vs Rachakovich


----------



## Blancrocher

*Help me forget this piano piece!!!!!*






I've been trying for years and I still can't do it on my own. I've already thrown away the sheet music, of course, and I've tried listening to other music. I thought I'd ask the experts here on TC for help. Thanks in advance for your responses!!


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> *Help me forget this piano piece!!!!!*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've been trying for years and I still can't do it on my own. I've already thrown away the sheet music, of course, and I've tried listening to other music. I thought I'd ask the experts here on TC for help. Thanks in advance for your responses!!


I believe the full name of the lass Beethoven wrote this for was Elysian Fields.


----------



## millionrainbows

Who wrote the most depressing music: Shostakovich or Alan Petterson?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Blancrocher said:


> *Help me forget this piano piece!!!!!*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've been trying for years and I still can't do it on my own. I've already thrown away the sheet music, of course, and I've tried listening to other music. I thought I'd ask the experts here on TC for help. Thanks in advance for your responses!!


This should do it.................... or give you nightmares


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Rachel Welch vs Shelley Winters


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Beetart versus Mozhoven


----------



## hpowders

I went to the dentist to get some plaque removed and the background music was appropriately, Tartar-ini.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Putinmaninoff vs Trumpakovich


----------



## Granate

*Did Verdi Operas make us musically dumb and mediocre?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll Would it be better if Classical Music was dumb?


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which name should be given to Beethoven's 32nd Piano Sonata to get you to like it more?

1. Isabelle

2. Clarabelle

3. Libertybelle

4. Incorrigibelle

5. Waldstein


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> *Did Verdi Operas make us musically dumb and mediocre?*


Only when Otello is played on the cello.


----------



## hpowders

Darkest Classical Composer

Post no. 1: Beethoven, after he fell asleep mid-day on a Vienna park bench.

_Ernest_-ly? He shoulda used sun-_Bloch!_


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Which is your favorite Zozart or Zeethoven ??


----------



## Dim7

*How Influential Will Schoenberg's Music Be The Day After Tomorrow?*

Everyone agrees that Schoenberg's music remains influential up to this day. Obviously it would be silly to expect this to suddenly change tomorrow. But what about the day after tomorrow? Will Schoenberg's music completely cease to be influential then?


----------



## hpowders

How influential are hpowders' posts from 2014 on today's TC posters?


----------



## hpowders

Dim7 said:


> *How Influential Will Schoenberg's Music Be The Day After Tomorrow?*
> 
> Everyone agrees that Schoenberg's music remains influential up to this day. Obviously it would be silly to expect this to suddenly change tomorrow. But what about the day after tomorrow? Will Schoenberg's music completely cease to be influential then?


Heck, I don't even know what day today is....damn potent rumcake. Same stuff that killed that North Korean dude.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Poll: Which name should be given to Beethoven's 32nd Piano Sonata to get you to like it more?
> 
> 1. Isabelle
> 
> 2. Clarabelle
> 
> 3. Libertybelle
> 
> 4. Incorrigibelle
> 
> 5. Waldstein


All fine names but I choose Waldstein! There, I already like it more. The Waldstein is my favorite Beethoven piano sonata.


----------



## hpowders

When will Paul McCartney's new album, "Paul McCartney Singing About Classical Music" be released?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which is your favorite Zozart or Zeethoven ??


Zo, let me know when Ziss gag is finally to be put azide.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Zo, let me know when Ziss gag is finally to be put azide.


Zertainly...............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*The Classical Music you eat to?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favorite Bach Solo Kazoo Recordings?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Forget the overtures: beautiful moments of atonal discordance


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Hi from Sirius
was good enough for Stockhausen


----------



## Granate

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Hi from Sirius
> was good enough for Stockhausen


Hello Europe! Thank you for a wonderful show tonight! These are the votes of Sirius! And the twelve points go to...


----------



## Granate

*Dark* *Tuba and Percussion* *in Salzburg?*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Zertainly...............


Zounds more like play it again Zam-a never ending zycle.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Favorite Bach Solo Kazoo Recordings?


There are two good ones-the Columbus Kazoo and the San Diego Kazoo.


----------



## hpowders

Help needed! I sell Haydn London Symphonies and Symphony 102 just isn't moving. All the recordings of it are piling up!

I'm thinking of printing on each album cover, "Haydn Symphony No. 102 "Bosco" because I read that classical pieces with names are more popular than those with no names. Sounds like a good idea?


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that the guy who went to the desert on a horse with no name couldn't sell his horse because it didn't have a name?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Is it true that the guy who went to the desert on a horse with no name couldn't sell his horse because it didn't have a name?


No. He couldn't sell his horse because he met a fly with a buzz.

La la ...


----------



## Portamento

Is anyone going to point out how this thread somehow made it to 956 pages and counting? Out of all the threads on TC, it _had_ to be one called "Stupid Thread Ideas".... Well, let's get it to 1,000!


----------



## Bettina

Portamento said:


> Is anyone going to point out how this thread somehow made it to 956 pages and counting? Out of all the threads on TC, it _had_ to be one called "Stupid Thread Ideas".... Well, let's get it to 1,000!


Yes, this is the longest thread on TC. Obviously, classical music doesn't necessarily make people smarter, despite all the talk about the "Mozart effect." :lol:


----------



## Dim7

Forget the music: beautiful moments of twerking in classical music concerts


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Portamento said:


> Is anyone going to point out how this thread somehow made it to 956 pages and counting? Out of all the threads on TC, it _had_ to be one called "Stupid Thread Ideas".... Well, let's get it to 1,000!


Pointless aims achieve the best outcomes, lets keep posting..........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is this a Chopin Bach piece ?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Jazz Black Hole


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who will achieve the 1000's page post??


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Lets have a poll


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What non opera are you currently listening to


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Currently Not Listening Vol IXX


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

If Mozart lived longer how would he have impacted the punk era?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Non Sacred music; what have you been listening to


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Light classical composers?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Does anyone know the name of this Lagerphone piece?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Reg McCartney talking about Classical Music


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Whose Masterpiece is this not?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Weather?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The best lecture-synopsis of Wagner's Bicycle


----------



## hpowders

1000 pages? What about the 967,843 posts here that I should have gotten credit for?

I demand an accounting!!!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Do You Like Weather?


_Weather _I like it or not all depends on many factors, Max.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> _Weather _I like it or not all depends on many factors, Max.


Like Maximum or Minimum?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*If Mozart lived longer would he have gotten older?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Most important/best and favorite toy plastic Piano


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Like Maximum or Minimum?


Exactly. Glass would perceive the weather differently from Mahler.

Another perfectly good damn post I don't get credit for!!!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *If Mozart lived longer would he have gotten older?*


The tempos would have been getting slower. A bad sign.


----------



## hpowders

Help needed: I'm visiting Vienna for the music.

Is it as cold in Vienna as it is in the winter?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

If Mozart had died younger, would he have influenced Baroque music?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

If Mozart had lived longer, would Beethoven have skipped his 3rd symphony and gone straight to number 4?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

If Haydn had met Scheherazade(and lived longer), would he have written 1001 symphonies?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Can we get Haydn's name legally changed posthumously, to stop all those lame "hiding" jokes?


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Can we get Haydn's name legally changed posthumously, to stop all those lame "hiding" jokes?


Sure. My barrister can Handel the paperwork.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Sure. My barrister can Handel the paperwork.


Are you sure he won't Fuch it up?


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Are you sure he won't Fuch it up?


Hopefully, the name change request won't get Bloch-ed. Not the barrister's fault if it is. I don't believe in Haydn the truth.

Now if you will excuse me, I am off to get some recreation, an intense game of Ping, Pang, Pong.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> If Haydn had met Scheherazade(and lived longer), would he have written 1001 symphonies?


Scheherazade wasn't all she was cracked up to be. All hype.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Scheherazade wasn't all she was cracked up to be. All hype.


Liszt me some and I can Ravel in them Ives thinking you'll be offenbach with some more


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Did music pre 1900 make us musically dumb and mediocre?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How many children did JS Bach have?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why is caveman music often so poorly received by today's audiences?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Was Debussy a slow loading Performer


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: How Influential Is Mozarthoven's Music Today?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Romance in a flat piano


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Not quite sounding like another composer


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*What do you think about The Rutles? Were they that great?*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Liszt me some and I can Ravel in them Ives thinking you'll be offenbach with some more


Son, you can't Handel the truth. Come Bach when you can....and then after that I welcome you Offenbach. If you Kant, you Kant. That's my philosophy.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *What do you think about The Rutles? Were they that great?*
> 
> View attachment 92678


Looks to me like they need a little more Pepper in their soup, eh, Sarge?


----------



## Vaneyes

Mattress - Soft, Medium, Firm.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Most important/best Fake Mozart Piano Concertos


----------



## Vaneyes

Water - Still, Sparkling, Flavored.


----------



## hpowders

Missa Longa,

I'm writing you to be considered for TC premium membership. Enclosed is the $550 you requested.

Thanks for sending me the email to consider me.

A check for $11,500 was enclosed under separate cover to help your sick Uncle Remus.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Romance in a flat piano


You are unusually _sharp_ today! Glad to _C_ it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Slightly warm concerts in the future?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Beethoven late hip hop-- Your favorite


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Slightly warm concerts in the future?


The NY Philharmonic in May. (Northern Hemisphere...think opposite!!)


----------



## Vaneyes

Favorite medical condition - Plaque (arterial), plaque (dental), toe jam, smegma, hemorrhoids.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The next opera you're not going to see


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The next opera you're not going to see


Every opera ever composed by Wagner.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Favorite medical condition - Plaque (arterial), plaque (dental), toe jam, smegma, hemorrhoids.


I'll go for Stink Foot


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Every opera ever composed by Wagner.


I think we need more Wagner Posters in STI, don't you...............


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Favorite medical condition - Plaque (arterial), plaque (dental), toe jam, smegma, hemorrhoids.


Welcome to Talk Classical, Mr. Gross. Hope you have fun here!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Tumour and Percussion


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I think we need more Wagner Posters in STI, don't you...............


STI is too low-brow for them.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Can you fix your CDs with a glue stick?


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Welcome to Talk Classical, Mr. Gross. Hope you have fun here!


Pimple on tip of tongue.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Tumour and Percussion


Sounds like an ambulance chasing law firm. Call Tumour, Seymour, Rushmour and Percussion. We will fight for your rights (even if you were wrong).


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Can you fix your CDs with a glue stick?


I love vinyl.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I love vinyl.


now your talking.

I'm thinking of starting a line of connoisseur CD's with tracks hand carved in a fake gold like looking substance and selling them for incredibly astronomic prices - How do you think I'll go.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Would it be better if classical works had binary code names?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Rachmaninoff loves Shostakovich


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Great overtures from non-warpig operas


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What are your hobbies besides hobbies?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The 2016 College Frat Party Thread


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Is listening to Classical Music harmful? What do you do about it?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Accidents that will never happen


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Post a picture of someone else


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Anti-intellectual property and ethics


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Help needed for an Android


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Lemmy talking about Classical Music*


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The next opera you're not going to see


Judging by the last opera I didn't see, it'll be the same.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Lemmy talking about Classical Music*
> 
> View attachment 92681


I always listen to what Lemmy says.


----------



## Granate

Your favourite Turandot sung in Chinese
Your favourite Parsifal sung in Spanish
Your favourite Nabucco sung in Hebrew


----------



## Granate

How do you shave Brahms?
Funny Fleming to stave off the Rosenkavalier
Creepy Stemme to darken your Elektra


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> I always listen to what Lemmy says.


Very wise indeed...........................


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> How do you shave Brahms?
> Funny Fleming to stave off the Rosenkavalier
> Creepy Stemme to darken your Elektra


 Keep asking questions like that and I will beard you farewell!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> now your talking.
> 
> I'm thinking of starting a line of connoisseur CD's with tracks hand carved in a fake gold like looking substance and selling them for incredibly astronomic prices - How do you think I'll go.............


My father attempted to sprinkle vinyl chloride on my sugar frosted flakes, but I saw him do it and passed it off to my late brother.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

starting a bank exchanging likes for bitcoin


----------



## Vaneyes

Preferred payment - Bitcoin, wampum, cows.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Preferred payment - Bitcoin, wampum, cows.


100 Likes; 1 bitcoin, 50 likes 1 wampum, 25 Likes 1 Cow..................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Greatest Opera Never Written


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Acquiring through false pretenses Again?


----------



## hpowders

Help!! I was listening to some Lady Gaga and now I can no longer read!

Did Lady Gaga dumb me down??

Would Wagner smarten me up again??


----------



## hpowders

Did Pop make me musically dumb and mediocre?

Post no. 1: My father used to put me down all the time. He always melted my vinyl classical LPs right in front of me, especially the Liszt Piano Sonata and the Wagner Operas; hence the OP.

Comments?


----------



## hpowders

Would it be better if classical works all had names and people didn't?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Help!! I was listening to some Lady Gaga and now I can no longer read!
> 
> Did Lady Gaga dumb me down??
> 
> Would Wagner smarten me up again??


Sounds like you need a full Ring Cycle now, I can lend you my Bike if you like..........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Is posting in STI a Hobby? 

Vote Yes for No & No for Yes..........................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Supraphonic/124-Channel Classical Recordings


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Sounding like another conductor


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

WHY can I get into Mozart


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Debussy underperformer


----------



## hpowders

Which would you rather get into:

1. An Armani Suit

2. A Gucci pocketbook containing a million dollars

3. Mozart

4. The instrument case of the principal bassoonist of the Berlin Philharmonic

4. Lady Gaga at the superbowl


----------



## hpowders

Wanted: Ravel!!

Small guy with big nose.

For stealing from Debussy in Miroirs.

Reward: Wagner thread credibility for one year on TC, without having to do one's homework before posting there and being free from embarrassing criticism.


----------



## hpowders

"What music is this?"

The last thing my father said before he kicked me out of the house for listening to Bartok's Fourth String Quartet.

Debate. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

Music Quiz:

Below are tapes of three musical voices: Beethoven, Vivaldi and Lady Gaga.

Which sound similar?


----------



## hpowders

Civil Engineer Wanted!

To build a bridge between Iran and the US through music.


----------



## Granate

hpowders said:


> Help!! I was listening to some Lady Gaga and now I can no longer read!
> 
> Did Lady Gaga dumb me down??
> 
> Would Wagner smarten me up again??


Gaga side effects are irreversible. Try James Blake and Vampire Weekend twice a day to survive the rest of your life. You can also sign in a contemporary dance school and follow her music clips.


----------



## hpowders

Help Wanted:

Challenging work! College Graduate with advanced degree preferred! Australian Citizenship A Plus!

Remove shrinkwrap from CD's for chronic, addicted to classical music CD collector in Florida, USA!

Once in a lifetime opportunity!

Stimulating work environment!

One hour provided for lunch, per day!

Hurry! Offer may be withdrawn at any time!


----------



## hpowders

Which kind of composer do you prefer:

1. A composer who tears you apart emotionally.

2. A composer who brings tears of joy when his piece is finally over.

3. A composer whose music is so profound, it brings genuine tears while listening.

4. Classical music? I use Artificial Tears to impress my girlfriend that I'm moved by this garbage.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Would it be better if classical works had numbers? I propose we number every single classical work starting with the earliest known to the latest. Thus a Gregorian Chant would usually be in the 300-600 range while Haydn's Surprise symphony would be number 14231. Then there'll be no confusion about which piece we're talking about. 

I'm listening to number 16778. 

Ah that is my favorite Beethoven piano concerto!


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Would it be better if classical works had numbers? I propose we number every single classical work starting with the earliest known to the latest. Thus a Gregorian Chant would usually be in the 300-600 range while Haydn's Surprise symphony would be number 14231. Then there'll be no confusion about which piece we're talking about.
> 
> I'm listening to number 16778.
> 
> Ah that is my favorite Beethoven piano concerto!


My father had a number, 39627.3. After he was released from San Quentin, we began calling him Jim, again. He replied, "No please! I prefer to be called 39627.3."


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> My father had a number, 39627.3. After he was released from San Quentin, we began calling him Jim, again. He replied, "No please! I prefer to be called 39627.3."


Unlike Hank Williams he was content to be a "number not a name."

Talking of names, I think all classical works should be named after hobbits.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Civil Engineer Wanted!
> 
> To build a bridge between Iran and the US through music.


Your on- Civil Engineer here for service.

I propose to build a bridge comprised entirely of old master tapes, tube amps and assorted large tannoy speakers, it will play Varese music interspersed with movements in the bridge dragging the masters tapes across old tape heads strategically placed to scare the living daylights over any who dare to cross..........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Help Wanted:
> 
> Challenging work! College Graduate with advanced degree preferred! Australian Citizenship A Plus!
> 
> Remove shrinkwrap from CD's for chronic, addicted to classical music CD collector in Florida, USA!
> 
> Once in a lifetime opportunity!
> 
> Stimulating work environment!
> 
> One hour provided for lunch, per day!
> 
> Hurry! Offer may be withdrawn at any time!


Is Masters Degree enough, good thanks when do I start- do I get to see Miami Vice??


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Unlike Hank Williams he was content to be a "number not a name."
> 
> Talking of names, I think all classical works should be named after hobbits.


Just don't make a hobbit out of it. It can become addictive.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is Masters Degree enough, good thanks when do I start- do I get to see Miami Vice??


Only a Master's Degree? With that, you can bring me my daily mail. I thought you had a Doctor of Engineering Degree-the minimum for CD shrinkwrap removal work.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your on- Civil Engineer here for service.
> 
> I propose to build a bridge comprised entirely of old master tapes, tube amps and assorted large tannoy speakers, it will play Varese music interspersed with movements in the bridge dragging the masters tapes across old tape heads strategically placed to scare the living daylights over any who dare to cross..........


Trump says he will build a wall around any bridge I construct.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Only a Master's Degree? With that, you can bring me my daily mail. I thought you had a Doctor of Engineering Degree-the minimum for CD shrinkwrap removal work.


Damn but do I still get to see miami vice??


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Trump says he will build a wall around any bridge I construct.


What if we add Trumpets.................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bach's organ works, complete, and freeon a monthly instalment plan of only 20 bitcoin or 20,000 likes per months for a fixed 10 year installment contract plus a choice of your first born or wife and/or husband as the case maybe..........................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Damn but do I still get to see miami vice??


Sorry. I have Cable Premium Package which doesn't include the Rerun Channel.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What if we add Trumpets.................


My favorite thing is tea and trumpets. Whoops! Somebody ab-sconed with my Trumpets! I will alert the top brass!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Sorry. I have Cable Premium Package which doesn't include the Rerun Channel.


Oh, they show them here as a premier series.................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

exercises, should I or shouldn't I?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh, they show them here as a premier series.................


I thought you were hooked on the OutBach Channel.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I thought you were hooked on the OutBach Channel.


Yeah OutBach Jack


----------



## hpowders

Which would you rather watch..Don Giovanni or Don Johnson?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah OutBach Jack


I roo the fact that I don't live in Sydney so I can get the OutBach channel.

I get the 480 station premium package. How many stations do I watch? Two.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I roo the fact that I don't live in Sydney so I can get the OutBach channel.
> 
> I get the 480 station premium package. How many stations do I watch? Two.


All we seem to get is Ice Road Truckers (not much of that here) and American Pickers along with every reality TV show ever made


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Which would you rather watch..Don Giovanni or Don Johnson?


It depends if I'm watching Miami Vice or not.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

How come there are instruments you blow but none that you suck? (family edition)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> How come there are instruments you blow but none that you suck? (family edition)


Ah but you forget the Succaphone


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Smartest jokes (must be long and boring)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Random Poll #12 - no votes allowed


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Is standing on your head harmful? What do you do about it?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How many Rings do you have on your fingers?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What was the first film you watched?


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What was the first film you watched?


xxx rated ...................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> xxx rated ...................


and at such a young age


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Future opera releases from beyond the solar system on DVD and Blu-ray


----------



## Dim7

Pieces that are evocative of themselves?


----------



## hpowders

Disappointing Trump Speech!!

He said nothing about giving posting credit to TC STI posters!!

Tyrant!!!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Pieces that are evocative of the sewer. Keep your list to a maximum of 1000.


----------



## millionrainbows

Music that makes you want to…to…ahhh…yes…to…umm!…yeah…mff…mmm…yes…_yes...yes_…_YES_…*Yes!* *Yes!…YES!!! YESS!!!…AHH!!!! *


----------



## millionrainbows

millionrainbows said:


> Music that makes you want to…to…to...ahhh…yes…to…umm!…yeah…mff…mmm…*right there!*...yes…_yes...yes_…_YES_…*Yes!* *Yes!…YES!!! YESS!!!…AHH!!!!*


----------



## millionrainbows

Does anybody recognize this electronic music piece?

Skrrrrrruuunnnk! Poing! Bleep! Doit doit! Bip bip bip bip bip bip…crunsch! (sizzle) shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh----BOOP!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> Does anybody recognize this electronic music piece?
> 
> Skrrrrrruuunnnk! Poing! Bleep! Doit doit! Bip bip bip bip bip bip…crunsch! (sizzle) shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh----BOOP!!!


The dance of the sugar plum robots, simple..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Where do you buy your stolen CDs?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Where do you buy your stolen CDs?


Luigi's Pizzeria; back room.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Luigi's Pizzeria; back room.


Psssst, anyone interested in my line of handcrafted CD's


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Does anybody recognize this electronic music piece?
> 
> Skrrrrrruuunnnk! Poing! Bleep! Doit doit! Bip bip bip bip bip bip…crunsch! (sizzle) shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh----BOOP!!!


One of your more electrifying posts. I can deduce that your favorite philosopher most likely, was Volt-aire.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> One of your more electrifying posts. I can deduce that your favorite philosopher most likely, was Volt-aire.


With Ampere along for company


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> With Ampere along for company


I'm always amped in anticipation of a fine day of posting on TC....even If I get no posting credit.


----------



## hpowders

If Mozart lived during the Spanish Inquisition, would his heavenly music have been good enough to convert the heathens, putting the rack manufacturers out of business?

Debate. Discuss. Thread time limit: 17 months, because I'm going to Portland, Oregon at that time and won't be able to host this thread when I'm away.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> If Mozart lived during the Spanish Inquisition, would his heavenly music have been good enough to convert the heathens, putting the rack manufacturers out of business?
> 
> Debate. Discuss. Thread time limit: 17 months, because I'm going to Portland, Oregon at that time and won't be able to host this thread when I'm away.


and I'll go to Portland, Victoria just because I can................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> and I'll go to Portland, Victoria just because I can................


I Maine-ly go to the Portland found in Oregon.

I have to grow a beard and let my hair grow long, so I fit in with the anarchists...I mean, natives!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I Maine-ly go to the Portland found in Oregon.
> 
> I have to grow a beard and let my hair grow long, so I fit in with the "natives".


Do you look like this, if so we could confuse them (note pic is not me, just some random trying to look like me)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pieces that are evocative of Jellyfish?


----------



## hpowders

If Mozart had lived to hear Wagner's Ring, would he have:

1. Complained to the manager that his seat at Bayreuth had no lumbar support

2. Died of syphyllis half way theough Siegfried

3. Died of boredom three quarters of the way through Das Rheingold

4. Walked out because there was no fortepiano continuo

5. Loved it so much, he immediately ordered the Solti Ring from Amazon Prime


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Do you look like this, if so we could confuse them (note pic is not me, just some random trying to look like me)
> View attachment 92730


I'm about 160 pounds thinner. No moustache. You interested?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Why is music that you like more frequently heard in your house than music you don't like?


----------



## hpowders

Classical music posting proof-reader looking for work:

Hire me and Dvarik will always be Dvorak; Mass-Art will be Mozart; Bachrach will be Bach.

Reasonable rates. No need to feel embarrassed ever again!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Classical music posting proof-reader looking for work:
> 
> Hire me and Dvarik will always be Dvorak; Mass-Art will be Mozart; Bachrach will be Bach.
> 
> Reasonable rates. No need to feel embarrassed ever again!


Finally. I always seem to spell Fuch wrong.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'm about 160 pounds thinner. No moustache. You interested?


Long distance relationship never work well...................


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Long distance relationship never work well...................


Or too well, depending on your perspective


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Or too well, depending on your perspective


I like that thought very true........:lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I need your help with my desertion!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

tonal music and antiharmony


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How much Chopin of Bach is enough for a Wolfgang to Handel?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Best Symphony No. 16


----------



## hpowders

Why did Beethoven stop composing after 1827? Did he get a real job?


----------



## hpowders

The Goodall Wagner Ring, all good or simply not Godunov?


----------



## hpowders

Pay per view, one time only: Beethoven's A minor quartet vs. Schubert's G Major quartet.

Felix Grosse-Cavatina, referee.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> tonal music and antiharmony


My Aunti Harmony was always the family peace maker, uncannily anticipating and stifling discord.


----------



## Gordontrek

You get ONE more work- Morton Feldman?
A Defense of Maximiano Cobra 
Does TC have a Mahler fetish?
Why is film music disparaged while other forms of sacred music get their own forums?
What is it with starthrower and Republicans?
Should I buy Beyreuth tickets or Green Bay Packers season tickets for my future children?


----------



## hpowders

Gordontrek said:


> You get ONE more work- Morton Feldman?
> A Defense of Maximiano Cobra
> Does TC have a Mahler fetish?
> Why is film music disparaged while other forms of sacred music get their own forums?
> What is it with starthrower and Republicans?
> Should I buy Beyreuth tickets or Green Bay Packers season tickets for my future children?


Beyreuth Tickets: $2.35

Bayreuth Tickets: $1327


----------



## hpowders

If Mozart had lived longer, would he have bought CDs from Amazon.com or subscribed to an online service like Spotify?


----------



## Gordontrek

hpowders said:


> Beyreuth Tickets: $2.35
> 
> Bayreuth Tickets: $1327


Uhhh....which is which?


----------



## hpowders

Gordontrek said:


> Uhhh....which is which?


 Bayreuth: Wagner Operas.

Beyreuth: Tag-team wrestling.


----------



## hpowders

Prokofiev Piano Concerto No. 3:

What's it all about, Sergei?
Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Sergei?
Are we meant to take more than we give?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Pieces that are evocative of Jellyfish?


Death, where is thy sting?

Handel's Messiah.


----------



## millionrainbows

If Messiaen was so religious and Catholic, then why is his music so effective at scaring little children at Halloween? It must have something to do with the Holy Ghost. BOOOO!!!


----------



## hpowders

I'm having a party. For each guest, should I serve:

Two flutes of champagne and one crumpet?

One flute of champagne and two crumpets?

Hurry. Guests coming in 1/2 hour!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'm having a party. For each guest, should I serve:
> 
> Two flutes of champagne and one crumpet?
> 
> One flute of champagne and two crumpets?
> 
> Should I play music of _Drovak?_


I would prefer Muffins and Beer


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I would prefer Muffins and Beer


Muffins is at the Vet. Sorry.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Muffins is at the Vet. Sorry.


Again.................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

If Mozart lived longer how would he have got laser rot?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: "Best" Symphony No. 35


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your Favorite Composers Period Finito no more discussion?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

twelve-tone outside of classical painting


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is Classical?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vladimir about Donald


----------



## hpowders

Favorite dish?

Mine is Öckeg n' Hem.

What's yours?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I have a *Paganini Pasta thanks*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> twelve-tone outside of classical painting


I see where you're Gogh-ing here.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your 10 favorite solar systems..................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your 10 favorite solar systems..................


Good thing they're all solar. Can you imagine the electrc bills if they had to pay by the kilowatt.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

accompaniments including Vegemite


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Best 5th post. (Don't bother looking up mine; it's just the usual gibberish)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Good thing they're all solar. Can you imagine the electrc bills if they had to pay by the kilowatt.


I'll go for the Solar wind


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Greatest Larger Scale Coral Work


----------



## Dr Johnson

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Greatest Larger Scale Coral Work


The Great Barrier Riff.


----------



## hpowders

Best symphony No. 103:

(Drumroll crescendo) "And the winner is.....!!!"


----------



## hpowders

Favorite composer by period:

Clara Schuman wins by default.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Favorite composer by period:
> 
> Clara Schuman wins by default.


Actually, Clara was almost constantly pregnant. I don't think she had many periods! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Actually, Clara was almost constantly pregnant. I don't think she had many periods! :lol:


I will take your word for it. I must never get into a debate with a musicologist!


----------



## Guest

Why does the bassoon have such a stupid sound?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Greatest Larger Scale Coral Work


Reef Vaughn Williams, Dona nobis pacem.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I will take your word for it. I must never get into a debate with a musicologist!


Good! If you disagree with me, I might get snappy because of PMS.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Good! If you disagree with me, I might get snappy because of PMS.


It's all relative. Your version of "snappy" might be another person's "ecstasy".


----------



## hpowders

Best Numbered Symphony: Compiuter automatically programmed to change each poll every 42 hours to the next in the sequence:

From: 1-233.

Note these are public polls. Please don't embarrass yourselves.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: "Worst" Symphony No. 1 (or Only Symphony thankfully)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How can my chickens start singing in choirs?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

WHY can't I get into Mozart's Pants


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do you like the sound of the Bulldozer?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Mudcake?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Is there a correlation between Ice Cream & Chocolate


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Expressions that you have Never Heard.


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Should we change the name of Talkclassical to Pollclassical?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: Should we change the name of Talkclassical to Pollclassical?


It already exists as such in Warsaw.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Expressions that you have Never Heard.


PM box: "You're banned and don't ever come Bach!!"

(Not a good way to start your day. )


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> You're banned and don't ever come Bach!!
> 
> (Not a good way to start your day. )


"I'd better keep on Haydn"


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Is there a correlation between Ice Cream & Chocolate


Sure. They can both give you the zits.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> "I'd better keep on Haydn"


You can run, but you cannot hide in cyberspace.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Sure. They can both give you the zits.


That would make you play music like this with Zits hey.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: "Best" Symphony Never Written


----------



## hpowders

Best Ninth Symphony Never Written, posted by hpowders Loves Classical.


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite composers that even EHarmony.com couldn't help fix up with a successful date.


----------



## hpowders

Posting Anxiety Question:

What happens after the composer best symphony polls reaches No. 9 or No. 10? Nothing really left after that. I'm starting to get nervous!


----------



## hpowders

Extra! Extra! Talk Classical voted the most poll-arizing forum in the entire cyber-world!

Do you agree?

1. Yes!

2, No, with reservations.

3. I like it here.

4. Who needs reservations?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What are your TOP 5 Piercing recordings....................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Figure skating while playing beethoven's 5th


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

My Piano Sonata in Sixty Six pieces


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: "Best" Symphony Nos. 1, 2, 3 ,4 ,5 ,6 ,7 ,8 ,9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 ,16, 17 ,18 & 19


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Greatest Balistic Music


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Another melody vs another melody vs another melody


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Poll: Another melody vs another melody vs another melody vs **Poll:**Another melody vs another melody*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is the most haunted symphony


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Will Contemporary Composed Ever Interest those not interested in it


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Would the Great Composers be Creative?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The disputed Greatest


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Electric Electric Piano


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

'1' through '10^6' scale?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Who's your 2nd century fave?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Poll - how many incomplete operas do you own?


----------



## Pugg

I was looking for the "funny" 105 one ??????


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do you cut your hair?


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How do you cut your hair?


My chest is smooth by nature.:lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> My chest is smooth by nature.:lol:


Glad to hair,other wise would be quite a sight in a low cut dress


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Was Classical Music your First Musical Lover?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Motor Rythyms with boater


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Glad to hair,other wise would be quite a sight in a low cut dress


Never wore a dress and never will, I am not in to sex changes.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Poll: If Mozart were raised from the dead would Frankenstein be scared?... *


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Never wore a dress and never will, I am not in to sex changes.


Just as well then,doesn't sound like the dress would fit well


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Haydn in the Jazz Hole


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is it about raised from the dead performances...?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Cheesecake without any cheese?


----------



## hpowders

Best Ö composer.

Classical only please!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Do You Like Cheesecake without any cheese?


It exists as mock cheesecake, but as expected, nothing like the heavenly real thing.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite classical composers who wore contact lenses.


----------



## Scopitone

Favorite opera score for wallpapering your living room.


----------



## hpowders

Melodies to cure maladies.


----------



## hpowders

Live executions vs. studio executions.

Which is a better experience?


----------



## hpowders

How much is an average string quartet worth?

I can go as high as $550.


----------



## hpowders

Classical Music: Which piece is the Most Bestest Ever-est.

Let's settle this, so my grammar can rest in peace with my grandpa.


----------



## hpowders

If Mozart was alive today, would he have re-written his symphonies 1-9 so he could seriously try to win the TC Best Symphony Polls, 1-9?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> If Mozart was alive today, would he have re-written his symphonies 1-9 so he could seriously try to win the TC Best Symphony Polls, 1-9?


Maybe he would try to make it to 105 symphonies, so that he could win that poll.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Maybe he would try to make it to 105 symphonies, so that he could win that poll.


What does Mozart call composing 105 great symphonies?

Monday.


----------



## hpowders

Why do they pummel Hummel?


----------



## hpowders

If Beethoven was alive today would he prefer CD's or vinyl?

Looking for the truth, not surmisals or inane opinions.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> If Beethoven was alive today would he prefer CD's or vinyl?
> 
> Looking for the truth, not surmisals or inane opinions.


He was deaf, so mostly likely mp3's or mp4's maybe.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Best "GSpot" Composer


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Best "GSpot" Composer


Not Tchaikovsky, that's for sure. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Not Tchaikovsky, that's for sure. :lol:


To be sure to be sure


----------



## hpowders

How Rubik's cube affected Beethoven's style.

Musical examples either in score or You Tube excerpts.

No unsubstantiated claims!!!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> He was deaf, so mostly likely mp3's or mp4's maybe.............


Thank you sir! You obviously adore Beethoven, a genuine Beethoven-file.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What Opera are you not going to see next?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Best "Roman Numeral" Composers


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Polka and politics


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Was JS Bach a born again christian?*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Polka and politics


I raise you three republicans. Do you call?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I raise you three republicans. Do you call?


I'll show you 4 anarchists


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'll show you 4 anarchists


I believe you are bluffing.


----------



## hpowders

I give up! Hopefully, these problem issues will resolve tomorrow. Maybe TC has been hacked.


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Why is TC slow today?

1. It's been hacked
2. The server is undergoing routine maintenance
3. The mods have synchronized TC to the tempo of Chopin's Funeral March
4. The system has been overloaded by an excess of polls


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: Why is TC slow today?
> 
> 1. It's been hacked
> 2. The server is undergoing routine maintenance
> 3. The mods have synchronized TC to the tempo of Chopin's Funeral March
> 4. The system has been overloaded by an excess of polls


I know EdVarese's new job is to give the TC server a comprehensive tune-up. You think that had anything to do with it?
Probably not....he has a Master's Degree.....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I know EdVarese's new job is to give the TC server a comprehensive tune-up. You think that had anything to do with it?
> Probably not....he has a Master's Degree.....


Hear no evil, see no evil


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I believe you are bluffing.


You were looking


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

23rd Century Classical


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do we need another poll for a poll "Best"


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Hear no evil, see no evil


Do not forget: Speak no evil. :lol:


----------



## SiegendesLicht

Bettina said:


> Poll: Why is TC slow today?
> 
> *1. It's been hacked*
> 2. The server is undergoing routine maintenance
> 3. The mods have synchronized TC to the tempo of Chopin's Funeral March
> 4. The system has been overloaded by an excess of polls


The Russians hacked it. No, make it: Putin personally hacked it.


----------



## hpowders

Which do you prefer-CDs, vinyl or wax cylinders?

Why?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You were looking


My dear sir, if you are flirting with me, I am indeed royally flushed; however I am straight inside.


----------



## hpowders

Too late for my symphony in Saddest Music?

My Doctoral Studies professor at Curtis just told me my new symphony is the saddest piece of crap he has ever seen. 

How do I enter it in the Saddest Music contest? What are the prizes?


----------



## hpowders

High from Spain!

Just finished a half quart of sangria. Leaving for the US tomorrow.


----------



## Granate

hpowders said:


> High from Spain!
> 
> Just finished a half quart of sangria. Leaving for the US tomorrow.












*Mulhacén peak*
3,478.6m
Sierra Nevada, Granada

You better drink hot chocolate!
Then depart from Malaga, grab a bus to the airport.


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> *Mulhacén peak*
> 3,478.6m
> Sierra Nevada, Granada
> 
> You better drink hot chocolate!
> Then depart from Malaga, grab a bus to the airport.


Wow! Asombroso!


----------



## hpowders

I have a lot of trouble getting into Wagner but I have no problem getting a lot out of Wagner.

How about you?


----------



## hpowders

County Fair Announcement:

Executions will start immediately for all those posters who selected the Schubert 5th Symphony over the Beethoven 5th Symphony as the Best in Show Symphony.

Come throw the iron balls at their exposed skulls! Have fun. Eat bacon cheesecake dipped in hog butter!


----------



## hpowders

Do we need another poll for.....ANYTHING????!!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Yes we need a poll on the best way to cut your hair.
Poll Responses
1. Use Scissors
2. Lasers
3. Sword
4. Guillotine
5. Electricity
6. Fire
7. Water
8. Brimstone
9. Lightning
10. Just hold Hpowders down and cut his hair already


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yes we need a poll on the best way to cut your hair.
> Poll Responses
> 1. Use Scissors
> 2. Lasers
> 3. Sword
> 4. Guillotine
> 5. Electricity
> 6. Fire
> 7. Water
> 8. Brimstone
> 9. Lightning
> 10. Just hold Hpowders down and cut his hair already


No way! I'm growing it long in anticipation of Woodstock Two!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 23rd Century Classical


And the long-anticipated return to C Major.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> And the long-anticipated return to C Major.


Hey, I thought that every modern piece was in C Major! After all, none of them have a key signature. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> No way! I'm growing it long in anticipation of Woodstock Two!


Hippie hey


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hey, I thought that every modern piece was in C Major! After all, none of them have a key signature. :lol:


I C you Major-ed in music.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Hippie hey


I long for the good old days of free love and psychedelic mushrooms.

Mostly, the former....


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I C you Major-ed in music.


Yep, and I started studying music at a young age, when I was still A Minor.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yep, and I started studying music at a young age, when I was still A Minor.


Your posts never B Flat with me.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yep, and I started studying music at a young age, when I was still A Minor.


G!!! Sharp response!!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hey, I thought that every modern piece was in C Major! After all, none of them have a key signature. :lol:


I'll just agree and pretend I have the slightest idea of what she is talking about.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: "Best" Symphony No. 433


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Four hundred and thirty-three excellent bargain downloads


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Random Poll #433


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What are your TOP 433 RING recordings....................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Current Listening Vol 433


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Discussion Thread for TC Top [433] Recommended


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Beethoven's 433th Cuban Style


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Brahm's symphony no. 433


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your top 433 tenors EXCLUDING the most hyped


----------



## hpowders

Yes. A minor can Handel music, as well as new languages, better than A Major can.

(I thought I was answering Bettina directly, by carrying down one of her previous posts. That mock rumcake was more potent than I thought! )

Oh well. It was A minor mistake.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I couldn't not handle Handel after I was ran down by A Minor whilst listening to Water Music in a canoe after eating Mock rumcake.............. A Major mistake!


----------



## Vaneyes

Two wrongs (or several) do not make a right...


And if you spill the beans you open up a whole can of worms. I mean, 
how can you let sleeping dogs lie if you let the cat out of the bag? 
You bring in a new broom and if you're not very careful you find 
you've thrown the baby out with the bath-water. Change horses in the 
middle of the stream, next thing you know you're up the creek without 
a paddle. Then, obviously, the balloon goes up. They hit you for six. 
An own goal, in fact. Ah, well. That's the way the cookie crumbles -- 
we can talk like this till the cows come home, but we can't change the 
ways of the world.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Two wrongs (or several) do not make a right...
> 
> And if you spill the beans you open up a whole can of worms. I mean,
> how can you let sleeping dogs lie if you let the cat out of the bag?
> You bring in a new broom and if you're not very careful you find
> you've thrown the baby out with the bath-water. Change horses in the
> middle of the stream, next thing you know you're up the creek without
> a paddle. Then, obviously, the balloon goes up. They hit you for six.
> An own goal, in fact. Ah, well. That's the way the cookie crumbles --
> we can talk like this till the cows come home, but we can't change the
> ways of the world.


:lol::lol::lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I couldn't not handle Handel after I was ran down by A Minor whilst listening to Water Music in a canoe after eating Mock rumcake.............. A Major mistake!


Are you mocking me or is this the real thing?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Are you mocking me or is this the real thing?


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite conductors are found:

1. On the Penn Central

2. On Amtrak

3. On the Outback Express between Sydney and Melbourne

4. In a wire as the element silver.

5. Who cares? I listen exclusively to chamber music on a chamber pot.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Creepy Dark Cheesecake?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Great Gravel Conductors


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Gravelcake?


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Are you surprised that Eddie voted for Varese as his favorite French composer?

1. Yes, I'm shocked
2. No, I think it was pretty obvious all along
3. I thought that Eddie _was _Varese!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is your favourite Mozart Gravel recording?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Any Gravel Fans Out There


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Poll: Are you surprised that Eddie voted for Varese as his favorite French composer?
> 
> 1. Yes, I'm shocked
> 2. No, I think it was pretty obvious all along
> 3. I thought that Eddie _was _Varese!


I tried being a reincarnated Varese on TC in early posts but the Joke decomposed rapidly...........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The "I'm still scared of 200th century music" starter


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Beethoven's 7th Cuban Cigar Style


----------



## Antiquarian

If Talk Classical was the Matrix, who would you be? Who would Mozart be?
Once again, apologies if this has been a repeated stupid thread idea, I'm not about to scan over 14000 posts to verify duplication. Follow the white rabbit.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Antiquarian said:


> If Talk Classical was the Matrix, who would you be? Who would Mozart be?
> Once again, apologies if this has been a repeated stupid thread idea, I'm not about to scan over 14000 posts to verify duplication. Follow the white rabbit.


Mad Max..........................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Chessy Cheesecake?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Does music and beer really go together?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Any Gravel Fans Out There


Chopin's lover, George Sand was a fan.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: Are you surprised that Eddie voted for Varese as his favorite French composer?
> 
> 1. Yes, I'm shocked
> 2. No, I think it was pretty obvious all along
> 3. I thought that Eddie _was _Varese!


All I know is when I go to Varese's, I get served Veal Piccata, not Coq au Vin. French? Doubtful.

I demand a congressional intelligence investigation.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

hpowders said:


> Chopin's lover, George Sand was a fan.


And this is a fan with added Sand.









!


----------



## SiegendesLicht

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does music and beer really go together?


Bavarian classical and beer go together very well


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Sandmaninov vs Gravel


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: A la carte Composer Buffet


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What makes Beethoven sound like Spike Jones??


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: A la carte Composer Buffet #26 (Rice Noodles,  Poll: A la carte Composer Buffet #20 (Beer,  Poll: A la carte Composer Buffet #18 (Steak,


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What makes Beethoven sound like Spike Jones??


One thing they have in common is they are both dead.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> One thing they have in common is they are both dead.


A hearing impediment or crack?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> A hearing impediment or crack?


That deserves a fair hearing. The jury is still out, lunching on their Veal Piccata at Varese's.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Why do so many people think that Salieri is not the best composer?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mozart's Worst Chamber Works


----------



## Blancrocher

What makes Beethoven sound like Beethoven? Tell me what you think! 

In my view, fwiw, the answer is "Beethoven."


----------



## Bettina

Blancrocher said:


> What makes Beethoven sound like Beethoven? Tell me what you think!
> 
> In my view, fwiw, the answer is "Beethoven."


In my view, Beethoven is the answer to everything.


----------



## hpowders

In honor of women stay home day, Mel-Bourne has changed it's name to Melanie-Bourne.

And I thought they were Bourne to be wild before!

Of course, this could simply be fake news.

I wish I knew an Australian in the thick of it to verify, clarify or rectify this information.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Any Dim7 Fans Out There


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Does it bother you when other people don't like music


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Why do so many people think J. S. Bach is Beethoven


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: How Do You Like Your Potash


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Richard Strauss 12 Tone Poems Recordings


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Chopin versus Gravel


----------



## Dim7

What makes Beethoven sound like Britney Spears??


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> What makes Beethoven sound like Britney Spears??


An auto-tune....................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Thread: What place, if any, will gazoo music have in the future of classical music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Which response to classical music do you find peachy


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

433 composers need your help (or hindrance)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vibrato and Der Ring tone


----------



## Gradeaundera

Does it bother you when people are attracted to a different sex than you?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!! 

Curtis Doctor of Musicology candidate here:

I need someone to research (15-25 pages, double spaced) the correlation-positive, negative or neutral of the effects on Beethoven's musical profundity as a composer, from his early days with fine hearing through progressive hearing loss, from mild to acute hearing loss to complete deafness.

I am involved in a full-time relationship and my girlfriend is taking up most of my time.

Thanks for the help! PM me by Sunday!!! It's due Monday morning!


----------



## Dim7

Does it bother you when other people aren't bothered by people being bothered by people not being bothered by people who are being bothered by you not being bothered by other people being bothered by people bothering you?


----------



## hpowders

I'd like some information about Beethoven, his birth and death years.

I could look it up, but I would rather rely on the expertise of TC posters and the kindness of strangers.

(If anyone answers, perhaps I can con him/her into doing my Master of Music thesis.)


----------



## hpowders

A) Best symphony No. 3 vs. finest symphony No. 3?

B) Which is cheaper on Amazon, a finest symphony or a best symphony?


----------



## hpowders

If Mozart lived longer, would he have moved up to a better TC poll position than No. 6?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Only 19 pages to go, keep posting................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why is classical classical music often so classical?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your top 10 broken strings


----------



## hpowders

How do you feel about 12 tone music?

1. It goes great with my mourning serial.

2. It sounds better than my father shouting at me.

3. Listening to it makes me a Basque-et case.

4. I like it because my sneaker size is 12 also.

5. I'm too busy taking the 686 polls I fell behind on, to answer this right now.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your top 10 broken strings


What a coincidence!! I was born in Broken Strings, Arizona.

You know of it? It's about 5 miles north of Broken Dreams, Arizona.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> What a coincidence!! I was born in Broken Strings, Arizona.
> 
> You know of it? It's about 5 miles north of Broken Dreams, Arizona.


I only know Broken Hill, where June Bronhill named herself after


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I only know Broken Hill, where June Bronhill name herself after


Alright. Broken Strings is also 13 miles south of Broken Record, Arizona.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Alright. Broken Strings is also 13 miles south of Broken Record, Arizona.


Broken record, I bet June may have may a few of those


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Expressions that you hate only a little bit.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Broken record, I bet June may have may a few of those


I hear June Cleaver chopped up her husband Ward and then pressure cooked him. Wally said it tasted just like Beaver.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: How Do You Like Your Piccolos


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Music, 12 tone poems and politics
 12 tone poems, [URL="http://www.talkclassical.com/showthread.php?t=47896"]Music and politics[/URL]
 politics, 12 tone poems and Music

Which do order do you prefer.............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: How Do You Like Your Piccolos


I like 'em shrill, Bill.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pieces for Chopin a piano with?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Foreground music


----------



## hpowders

Important Announcement:

It has come to our attention that many of you have not participated in all of our public polls:
TC access has been shut down for those particular posters until this deplorable situation is rectified.
A PM has been sent consisting of up to 17,697 polls that need your attention and participation, NOW!!!

The rest of you, please ignore this notice and keep on posting!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

18 pages to go and counting


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Pieces for Chopin a piano with?


I'm Chopin' at the bit for some input on this topic.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Foreground music


Foie gras-nd music is always good!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Expressions that you hate only a little bit.


Nothing I can think of, moving forward.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which do you like?

1. Good Humor

2. Vitreous Humor

3. Jazz Humor

4. Classical Humor

5. Sensa Humor


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: "Best" Symphony No. 433


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do you drink whiskey & soda?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Everything you didn't want to know about the Ring


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Who are your least favourite musicians?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Favorite NonClassical Music Period


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

My list of the 10,000 greatest composers


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> My list of the 10,000 greatest composers


It doesn't matter how long the list, Bach will always be number one.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> It doesn't matter how long the list, Bach will always be number one.


Or number three.....


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Or number three.....


Yes, I know that I need to be punished for my transgression! I should be tied to a harpsichord and whipped.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Yes, I know that I need to be punished for my transgression! I should be tied to a harpsichord and whipped.


Isn't that a Wagner Opera................


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, I know that I need to be punished for my transgression! I should be tied to a harpsichord and whipped.


No! No! No! That may damage the delicate harpsichord!

A better idea. You shall be restrained and forced to watch 11 Trump campaign rallies in a row. Actually nobody has survived four.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, I know that I need to be punished for my transgression! I should be tied to a harpsichord and whipped.


In a moment of rare human compassion, I must say, your list is actually a very fine one.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Isn't that a Wagner Opera................


The worst punishment is forcing a guy with an enlarged prostate (lucky Bettina got passed over when they were being given out) to have to sit and watch Das Rheingold. No breaks.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

List of 1000 greatest operas


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Potatoecake?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do you shave with Potatoes?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What Potatoes are you currently reading?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What Potatoes are you currently reading?


I'm currently reading Silence of the Yams.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Do You Like Potatoecake?


Potato pancakes are delicious, also known as latkes.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> List of 1000 greatest operas


I'm sure many on TC will say 967 are by Wagner.


----------



## Bettina

Somehow, the thread "100 greatest composers" has morphed into "a critique of Bettina's musical tastes." :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Somehow, the thread "100 greatest composers" has morphed into "a critique of Bettina's musical tastes." :lol:


Tolerance is a virtue. It's rarely practiced "out there", which is why I prefer the sanctuary of STI; not because of any intellectual deficiencies.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

My list of one composer I'm listening to right now.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Bettina said:


> Somehow, the thread "100 greatest composers" has morphed into "a critique of Bettina's musical tastes." :lol:


For the record, my post wasn't a criticism but a genuine question.


----------



## Bettina

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> For the record, my post wasn't a criticism but a genuine question.


I know that, and I appreciated your post. I'm just joking about the critique thing. I actually appreciated all the feedback that I got for my list. In fact, I've gone ahead and posted #61-100, in hopes of getting more attention!


----------



## Pugg

Bettina said:


> I know that, and I appreciated your post. I'm just joking about the critique thing. I actually appreciated all the feedback that I got for my list. In fact, I've gone ahead and posted #61-100, in hopes of getting more attention!


I am afraid that topic is going to die in beauty Bettina.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mozart - the [URL="http://www.talkclassical.com/showthread.php?t=47875"]Burt Bacharach and Hal David versions

[/URL]


----------



## Bettina

Pugg said:


> I am afraid that topic is going to die in beauty Bettina.


Well, I enjoyed the attention while it lasted!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Perception of Emojo Content in Music


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Only 16 pages to go and counting


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Do composers come in pears?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Only 16 pages to go and counting


That's only significant if you worship the decimal system.

I am waiting for page 1024


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Do composers come in pears?


Some composers should be placed in pears*!

* Pear: A notorious torture device of the Inquisition.

Ahhh...the Pear of Anguish! The good old days! When men were men and women were glad of it!


----------



## Bettina

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Do composers come in pears?


That makes me think of Britten...but I probably shouldn't go into detail about that...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That makes me think of Britten...but I probably shouldn't go into detail about that...


OMG....and I just asked for a touch more saltpeter on my home fries!


----------



## Pugg

Bettina said:


> That makes me think of Britten...but I probably shouldn't go into detail about that...


As long as Mstislav Rostropovitsj don't come in to this, oh wait...way to old for Ben.


----------



## hpowders

Would an English Suite by Bach played at a concert in Montreal be listed in the programme as a French Suite?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Would an English Suite by Bach played at a concert in Montreal be listed in the programme as a French Suite?


Yes. There is a Quebec law that instructs all instances of the word "English" be replaced with the word "French".


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

If Classical music was a pet, what kind of pet would it be?


----------



## hpowders

Would you rather ride a mare nocturnally or between lunch and dinner?


----------



## Scopitone

Leaving the Forum, But Coming Back Tomorrow


----------



## Scopitone

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Yes. There is a Quebec law that instructs all instances of the word "English" be replaced with the word "French".


I tried to write some high school French in response here, but I failed.

Reminds me of the time I was temping. I had to call a hotel in Montreal, and they answered in French. I froze up, only stammering out a "Vous parlez anglais?" after a pause. He of course spoke perfect Canadian English.


----------



## Scopitone

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> My list of one composer I'm listening to right now.


Ooh, I've got one:

Top 10 Composers You've Listened to Since Breakfast


----------



## Bettina

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Yes. There is a Quebec law that instructs all instances of the word "English" be replaced with the word "French".


The music history books published in Quebec must have some odd information in them! "Elgar was a French composer," "Handel's Messiah is in French," and stuff like that.


----------



## hpowders

Have you and your spouse taken some TC polls and discovered to your dismay that you are such poll-ar opposites that you wound up actually breaking up?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Bettina said:


> The music history books published in Quebec must have some odd information in them! "Elgar was a French composer," "Handel's Messiah is in French," and stuff like that.


The law does tend to cause confusion once in awhile.

French person 1: Those damn French with their British accent.
French person 2: You mean those damn French with their British accent?
French person 1: No, I mean the French, you know, from that country across the French channel.


----------



## hpowders

Which chocolate is your favorite/favourite?

1. White

2. Milk

3. Dark

4. English Sweet

5. Belgian

6. I'm too busy drinking soda. Leave me alone!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Which chocolate is your favorite/favourite?
> 
> 1. White
> 
> 2. Milk
> 
> 3. Dark
> 
> 4. English Sweet
> 
> 5. Belgian
> 
> 6. I'm too busy drinking soda. Leave me alone!


Mozart chocolate. It helps me find my way out of mazes.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Mozart chocolate. It helps me find my way out of mazes.
> 
> View attachment 92878


Perhaps two or three ounces in the morning before tuning into TC would help to make sense.....

NAH!!!!


----------



## hpowders

Help! I'm really upset!

Someone made a list of the 100 greatest double concertos and the Brahms was #73.

I don't see how it could be worse than #67 and I've done the calculations!

Should I report the poster?


Follow-up: I attempted to report the poster, but I got a voice mail from the management that they could not help me because they were busy constructing the poll,

"100 greatest cyberspace moderators."


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Do TC posters come in pairs?


----------



## Scopitone

Do conducting batons have gender?


----------



## hpowders

Do you find yourself getting into "100 best lists" arguments as to whether Bruckner should be No. 67 instead of No. 73? Whether Debussy's Pelleas sounds more like a 97 than an 88?

Three month trial offer of amazing new pill specially designed for hackneyed TC posters, whose only crime is they were born with above average intelligence. This pill will take away that list-less feeling!

In a scientific study of the 100 best new pills, ours came in number 63, even though we have experimental proof that it really was a strong 31.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Leaving the Forum, But Coming Back Tomorrow


Don't forget to take the official TC pass with you! It's a-maze-ing how many posters have departed without it.

I will construct a list of the top 100 posters who have left without the pass. Give me a few minutes.


----------



## hpowders

Why would you possibly want to construct a favorite 100 composer list?

1. It keeps me away from drinking root beer all day
2. It keeps me away from listening to classical music all day
3. Serving 10 years for manslaughter, it's better than staring at my cell walls
4. It helps the time go by faster waiting for Trump to leave office
5. It helps me practice for when I want to start a 200 favorite composer list


----------



## hpowders

Is listening to an entire work rather than an excerpt gender specific?

Be specific.


----------



## hpowders

Your 500 favorite composers in ascending order.

Does this list ever change or is number 399 pretty much etched in stone?


----------



## hpowders

657 needy composers!

All are starving atonal artists.

Send $200 for premium contribution badge to 17 Mulwarney Rd, Kenya, Africa.


----------



## hpowders

Why can't I self-like my posts like I can on Facebook?
It boosts my self-esteem.


----------



## hpowders

Whoever heard of a composer who kept trying to compose about birds?

So what was Messiaen missin'?


----------



## Pat Fairlea

hpowders said:


> Assign genders to each of the Sibelius 7 symphonies.
> 
> Maybe he lost testosterone so he stopped composing symphonies pretty early?


Sibelius said his 6th symphony 'puts me in mind of the scent of the first snow of winter'. What does your favourite symphony smell of? Be olfactory.


----------



## hpowders

Name things you are more passionate about than classical music:

I will start things off: If given a choice between listening to a Bruckner Symphony and eating a ripe banaña*, I will choose the banaña* every time.

*A banaña is a Spanish banana, introduced to me by my Naña*.

*My Naña was my Spanish grandmother.


----------



## millionrainbows

I just bought Pierre Boulez' conducting baton for $500 on-line, from a seller in Nairobi.


----------



## hpowders

I really dig Mendelssohn's Scottish-style music, but I can't afford a trip to Glasgow.

So, I made some scones and scotch taped some packages, while listening to Mendelssohn's Third Symphony.

So smart!! For $7.99, I get the same effect as being there! 

This should impress my HS guidance counselor and up my IQ up a few notches from 83.


----------



## hpowders

The most haunting chamber music:

I will start. Beethoven "Ghost" Piano Trio, Op 70. No. 1, D Major.


----------



## hpowders

Which composer would you least like to stay with all winter in a big, deserted, snow-bound haunted Colorado hotel?

I'll start. Bela Bartok, playing various CDs for comparative listening of his Music for Strings, Percussion & Celesta every evening, to pass the time during the long, long, winter among the ghosts in the hotel's hallways. Great acoustics, by the way!


----------



## hpowders

Won't you help the atonal composers?

Human beings like you, starving, publishing atonal scores, neglected and shunned by the public.

Just $19 a month; just 62¢ a day can help a starving atonal composer buy an atonal pitch pipe; atonal composing paper and enough Bu-atone-i Ravioli to prevent starvation.

Thank you for your support!


----------



## hpowders

Things parents don't want to hear after spending $200,000 for their son's Princeton education:

"Hey maw!!! I'm going to be an atonal classical music composer!!!"


----------



## hpowders

Worst experience on Talk Classical.

I will start. Mine is posting the greeting Happy New Year and having it stay there all year on "Classical Music Forums-Talk Classical" for posters to see, month after month, unanswered.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Worst experience on Talk Classical.
> 
> I will start. Mine is posting the greeting Happy New Year and having it stay there all year on "Classical Music Forums-Talk Classical" for posters to see, month after month, unanswered.


Mine is when somebody posted "Mahler Violin Concerto" on Current Listening, and I took it seriously and asked if this was a newly discovered work. So embarrassing!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Mine is when somebody posted "Mahler Violin Concerto" on Current Listening, and I took it seriously and asked if this was a newly discovered work. So embarrassing!


You are not alone. I knew he didn't write one, but I thought maybe one was discovered.

One thing's for sure, from the moment we got duped and the pseudo-violinist began playing, 'til now, it's probably about mid-way through the second movement. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Is classical music the ultimate safe zone sanctuary from fake news?

Debate. Discuss. Argue. Kill each other. Have fun!


----------



## Granate

hpowders said:


> Name things you are more passionate about than classical music:
> 
> I will start things off: If given a choice between listening to a Bruckner Symphony and eating a ripe banaña*, I will choose the banaña* every time.
> 
> *A banaña is a Spanish banana, introduced to me by my Naña*.
> 
> *My Naña was my Spanish grandmother.


_Retweet Máximo_


----------



## Dim7

My 1000th pest ..................................


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> I really dig Mendelssohn's Scottish-style music, but I can't afford a trip to Glasgow.
> 
> So, I made some scones and scotch taped some packages, while listening to Mendelssohn's Third Symphony.
> 
> So smart!! For $7.99, I get the same effect as being there!
> 
> This should impress my HS guidance counselor and up my IQ up a few notches from 83.


Try sitting in a lawn chair with weather balloons attached, and a boom-box (battery powered) playing Mendelssohn, and see where it takes you.


----------



## millionrainbows

Portrait of Schubert, made shortly after he was diagnosed with syphilis; note his hand under his coat. He was obviously in some pain...


----------



## hpowders

^^^ Wimp! Napoleon could do that standing up!

Probably why Beethoven originally dedicated a symphony to him while snubbing the wimpy Schubert.


----------



## hpowders

Post recent photos, TC posters!

hpowders, absolutely exhausted after a hard day's posting, deflecting musical poisoned arrows from every possible direction. (Sorry. Cell phone camera.)


----------



## hpowders

Which guy would you rather date? A dude who wrote:

1. A tragic overture

2. A mobile strike overture

3. A jolly overture

4. A consecration of a virgin in her house overture


----------



## millionrainbows

Q: Why don't milkmen whistle Webern melodies?

A: Because milkmen are obsolete!

_Yes, it's true! Webern is not whistled by milkmen! But not because of Webern's music!

This proves that the reason is because "the milkman" is an obsolete profession, and has nothing to do with Webern's music!

Surely, this is another great triumph of modernism!!!_


----------



## millionrainbows

Donald Trump's Eighth String Quartet, "Not Dedicated to the Victims of Fascism Everywhere"


----------



## millionrainbows

"How can I convert an SACD to an MP3?" Wait, that was a real thread…sorry


----------



## millionrainbows

"I can't tell the difference between SACD and an MP3…that's why I got banned from that SACD manufacturer's site…and that's why I run all my files through a cheap Korean fuzz box with a weak battery…"


----------



## Pat Fairlea

millionrainbows said:


> Portrait of Schubert, made shortly after he was diagnosed with syphilis; note his hand under his coat. He was obviously in some pain...


From recent experience, I think Franz is trying to get his hernia back where it belongs.


----------



## Bettina

Neglected Composers Project: which composers were neglected by their wives?


----------



## hpowders

We at TC were all shocked to hear of the untimely passing of the CD.

Forever in our hearts.

Service Saturday at 10 AM. 

Shrink wrap ceremony, followed by catering from the TC tea-tasting group.


----------



## millionrainbows

My sympathies; please send all the bodies to me.


----------



## millionrainbows

I can't tell the difference between an MP3 and an 8-bit sample used by P-diddy. 

This was PROVED in a double-blind test held on the corner of 125th and Delaware Ave, in Baltimore, Saturday night at 2:15 P.M.


----------



## millionrainbows

Whanga-whanga-whanga…repeat 300 times. Congratulations! You're a Minimalist!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Neglected Composers Project: which composers were neglected by their wives?


But was this a handicap? Like Beethoven's deafness, might neglect have resulted in better music?

(Some of my best posts have occurred while I was deep in the heart of neglect.)


----------



## hpowders

What's the last film you saw about the Beethoven Violin Concerto?


----------



## hpowders

Is the second greatest violin concerto Beethoven's Missa Solemnis?


----------



## hpowders

Who composed the following neglected piano sonata?

htpp:64390ijk73

1. Clementi.

2. Clemenza from the Godfather.

3. Clement.

4. The Clemson University music department piano sonata composing committee.

5. Wanda Toscanini.

6. I'm already seriously neglected by my parents.


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite Solomon

Post no. 1: Solomon who?


----------



## hpowders

Hello. I execute people by lethal injection for a living (no pun intended....first one!!!), but I'm not so good at it. Any books that can help me?

Post no. 1. Sure! Try Liszt's Etudes d'execution. Let me know if it helps!


----------



## hpowders

I recently took the entrance exam for Curtis and I just got the result:

"Well-suited to be a Community Forum poster on the Talk Classical website."

Is this good? I'm starting to get excited!!!


----------



## hpowders

New poster from Alpha Centauri.

Please forgive my poor English. It is my seventh language and I tend to write grammatical incongruities among my utterances that are so annoyingly frustrating! 

I sincerely hope that when you peruse this post, my phrases are not too indescipherable.


----------



## Meyerbeer Smith

Decomposing composers - post photos! Rate them by liquescence.


----------



## Meyerbeer Smith

I want to kill a Regietheater director. Can you give me their address and advice on how not to get caught?

How would YOU kill a modern director? Have you killed one? Tell us how!


----------



## hpowders

Would Hitler have been annoyed that Beethoven was deaf and couldn't thus appreciate Hitler's fiery oratory?


----------



## Jacred

Here's one:

Who's your favorite composer?


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Here's one:
> 
> Who's your favorite composer?


Yeah, but this one is Godunov to appear as a poll on the main forum. Glad you thought of it.


----------



## hpowders

Why do you "like"?

1. Charity

2. Content

3. Paging another poster

4. Re-evaluation

5. Guilt

6. I just take 'em and don't give 'em.


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> Here's one:
> 
> Who's your favorite composer?


Stop!!  We have enough of that on the main forum. :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> I recently took the entrance exam for Curtis and I just got the result:
> 
> "Well-suited to be a Community Forum poster on the Talk Classical website."
> 
> Is this good? I'm starting to get excited!!!


Congrats! Now get on the Theory Thread and try to redeem yourself!


----------



## millionrainbows

Poll: Who da Baby Daddy?


----------



## millionrainbows

New Forum: *Composer's Dustbin

*This is the place to discuss (seriously and not so seriously!) those composers we've all forgotten because their music sucked. Who cares enough to post here?


----------



## millionrainbows

New trivia thread: *How Are Your Bowels Doing?*


----------



## Dim7

Threads of despair, struggle and pain ?


----------



## hpowders

I'm bringing my atonal pitch pipe to the TC theory thread. Should I bring anything else.... physically.... mentally....transcendentally?

I'm going there to learn. I am way, way beyond redemption.


----------



## hpowders

Poll:Why didn't Ives thank Debussy for his influence?

1. Ives didn't speak French

2. Ives was too busy selling auto insurance policies for Geico with the gecko

3. Ives didn't even know Debussy existed and was a true honest to God American original

4. Why ask me? I'm only here to buy some life insurance.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Which do you prefer (choose only one):

1. Vinyl

2. Romantic

3. CD

4. Classical


----------



## hpowders

Do you prefer composer look-alikes to the actual composers themselves?


----------



## hpowders

Complete Act Three Götterdämmerung

IKJ:663B9IL

Sorry! I love that little tune!


----------



## hpowders

What significant Pärt did Arvo play in musical development?


----------



## hpowders

Trump budget cuts affect TC!

Starting May 1st, participants will have to snail mail in their posts. This change, according to a White House spokesperson, will save the government $17,000,000 a year, money that could be better used to buy a new tank.

To help you through this crisis, TC is offering "Talk Classical Prime"®™. For a flat fee of $1300 US, TC will offer one full year of Priority Mail two day delivery of members' posts.

"Talk Classical; slow, but worth it."®™


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Poll:Why didn't Ives thank Debussy for his influence?
> 
> 1. Ives didn't speak French
> 
> 2. Ives was too busy selling auto insurance policies for Geico with the gecko
> 
> 3. Ives didn't even know Debussy existed and was a true honest to God American original
> 
> 4. Why ask me? I'm only here to buy some life insurance.


Nah, it was because Ives was homophobic.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Schoenberg/Berg/Webern: The recently discovered sex films

*


----------



## millionrainbows

See the progression?

Wagner blamed for Hitler; 
Elvis blamed for teenage sex;
The Beatles blamed for hippies and drugs;
Iron Maiden blamed for teen suicides;
Marilyn Manson blamed for Columbine

It's all music's fault!!


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Nah, it was because Ives was homophobic.


There's a vaccine for that.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> There's a vaccine for that.


Is it in suppository form?


----------



## SiegendesLicht

SimonTemplar said:


> I want to kill a Regietheater director. Can you give me their address...


Festspielhügel 1-2, 95445 Bayreuth.



> and advice on how not to get caught?


No advice there. When caught, say you did it for the sake of the art.



> How would YOU kill a modern director?


Champagne bottle and bratwurst fork could do.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Is it in suppository form?


All I know is they provide very_ proctocol_ pre-measured dosages....just place the measured amount on a finger, take a deep breath and....


----------



## hpowders

As an insurance salesman making his sales pitch, which did Ives prefer, A440 or A432?

I think Geico uses A440 and Liberty Mutual uses A432, but I could be wrong.


----------



## hpowders

Choose your favorite kind of postings of despair, struggle and pain:

1. Anti-Wagner posts on a Wagner thread

2. Tonality advocates on a Schoenberg thread

3. Posters upset by other posters' ubiquity

4. STI posters complaining about not getting posting credit


----------



## Blancrocher

Hello Everyone,

I'm trying to get into the "top posters" lists, but I don't want to spend a lot of time.


----------



## hpowders

Attention Posters: Too many of you post with too much content, not enough content, no content, etc; which makes me very un-content.

It's like this: I want you all outta here by morning!!


----------



## millionrainbows

Why are so few of these STI postings ever followed-up and turned into full-blown discussions?


----------



## hpowders

Was it true that the Prague players used to hate when Dvorak rehearsed his symphonies with them because he kept oppressively Czeching on their playing?


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Why are so few of these STI postings ever followed-up and turned into full-blown discussions?


Because we don't get "extra-credit" for doing so!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Was it true that the Prague players used to hate when Dvorak rehearsed his symphonies with them because he kept oppressively Czeching on their playing?


People hated it even more when Stravinsky conducted his pieces...he was always Russian the tempo!


----------



## hpowders

TC Posters!!! I see you are all still here!! I want you out!!! Don't you realize who I am?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> People hated it even more when Stravinsky conducted his pieces...he was always Russian the tempo!


Funny you mentioned that. I was dragged to a neighborhood Broadway song show last Thursday, and one guy singing, was so far ahead of the recorded sound track backing him up, I almost needed a pillow to stifle my chuckles! I guess he got nervous in front of the crowd of 17 people.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Funny you mentioned that. I was dragged to a neighborhood Broadway song show last Thursday, and one guy singing, was so far ahead of the recorded sound track backing him up, I almost needed a pillow to stifle my chuckles! I guess he got nervous in front of the crowd of 17 people.


LOL! I hate it when I'm accompanying singers (or instrumentalists) and they start rushing ahead of me. I should charge an extra fee for performers who rush: let's call it the "tempo tax."


----------



## hpowders

As a concession to those of you participating in the living conductor poll, stethoscopes will be provided to avoid controversy.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> LOL! I hate it when I'm accompanying singers (or instrumentalists) and they start rushing ahead of me. I should charge an extra fee for performers who rush: let's call it the "tempo tax."


This was strictly bargain basement. Taped background music; no scenery, except for a big crayon-printed sign, "Broadway" and a box of Entemann's doughnuts afterward. The rushed tempo was an unexpected bonus.

Two hours of my life that I will never, ever get back! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Blancrocher said:


> Hello Everyone,
> 
> I'm trying to get into the "top posters" lists, but I don't want to spend a lot of time.


Watch out with that many you could go postal


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is the most amount of times you can mention Trump in a post without incurring a warning or an infraction........

Debate............


----------



## Vaneyes

Steak - Well-done, Medium-well, Medium, Medium-rare, Rare?

Related:

http://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/dining/news/a9920/well-done-steak/


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Steak - Well-done, Medium-well, Medium, Medium-rare, Rare?
> 
> Related:
> 
> http://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/dining/news/a9920/well-done-steak/


I'll have well done with rare on the side and extra Ketchup, although I would much prefer tomato sauce thanks- is good at any old party............ even a grand old party!


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> TC Posters!!! I see you are all still here!! I want you out!!! Don't you realize who I am?


That you, Donald?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

SiegendesLicht said:


> That you, Donald?


No sorry just Eddie at present but Don was here earlier but he left (not right) to go to his party- Don's Party


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: The Random Poll of Random Polls


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> That you, Donald?


Not unless he changed his name.


----------



## Granate

Let's compose a song for all our new members in Talk Classical!

It could be titled: "Hope Hope, Welcome Welcome"


----------



## hpowders

Greatest non-HIP conductors of Beethoven's time.


----------



## hpowders

4'33" Currently Blowing My Mind!!

Post no. 1: I've never heard anything like it!!

Any other pieces like that you can recommend to me?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> 4'33" Currently Blowing My Mind!!
> 
> Post no. 1: I've never heard anything like it!!
> 
> Any other pieces like that you can recommend to me?


Try the mute button, its fascinating too.......


----------



## hpowders

Okay....I will be back in a little less than 5 minutes.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Okay....I will be back in a little less than 5 minutes.


See now you can turn all pieces into 4'33''- even the William tell, anything even !


----------



## hpowders

When Brahms came over to the Schumann house for the first time and asked Clara if he could borrow a cup of melodies, was he really just trying to meet her?


----------



## Dim7

Where PetrB is not?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Can we compile a list of all 4-bar melodies ever written?


----------



## hpowders

Help urgently needed:

I'm making Beef Wellington for some friends and the pot just started boiling over!

What will I do? What will I do?

Luckily the Napoleon I made last night for dessert was unharmed!!


----------



## hpowders

Talk Classical Loan Department

I will gladly pay you Friday for a Steinway Model D Concert Grand Piano today. :tiphat:


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Help urgently needed:
> 
> I'm making Beef Wellington for some friends and the pot just started boiling over!
> 
> What will I do? What will I do?
> 
> Luckily the Napoleon I made last night for dessert was unharmed!!


You should try some Eggs Berlioz with Caruso sauce and a Bizet cake.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> You should try some Eggs Berlioz with Caruso sauce and a Bizet cake.


Sorry. I'm allergic to the Berlioz. It repeats on me.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

I've heard CDs can rot over time. Should I keep mine in the freezer to prolong their lifetime?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Help urgently needed:
> 
> I'm making Beef Wellington for some friends and the pot just started boiling over!
> 
> What will I do? What will I do?
> 
> Luckily the Napoleon I made last night for dessert was unharmed!!


You should have made Pavlova, that was your first mistake..........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> I've heard CDs can rot over time. Should I keep mine in the freezer to prolong their lifetime?


What A good idea particularly for all those CDs with "Let it go" on them Freeze them all I say!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How many Frozen Rings do you have?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Greatest Non-HIP Conductor in Quadraphonic Era


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Symphonies that end on a Reggae offbeat?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How Franz Liszt Froze his Piano


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Franz Liszt Acid Reggae Fugue on a Frozen Piano


----------



## hpowders

Wanted: TC posters in good standing to eliminate dead poster's musings as these extra posts are directly affecting TC's stored memory capacity.

Pre-requisite: Engineering degree, Music degree, Chemistry Degree and/or experience working with the dead.
Australians from Sydney, Canadians from Toronto, Americans from Northern California and Mid-Western Florida particularly welcome; Texans, sometimes from Austin, also considered.

Please remember in applying for this position: Do not bite off more than you can eschew.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Wanted: TC posters in good standing to eliminate dead poster's musings as these extra posts are directly affecting TC's stored memory capacity.
> 
> Pre-requisite: Engineering degree, Music degree, Chemistry Degree and/or experience working with the dead.
> Australians from Sydney, Canadians from Toronto, Americans from Northern California and Mid-Western Florida particularly welcome; Texans, sometimes from Austin, also considered.
> 
> Please remember in applying for this position: Do not bite off more than you can eschew.


Ha, I got the degree and location but I'm not sure about experience. Does listening to the dead count as experience ?


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Ha, I got the degree and location but I'm not sure about experience. Does listening to the dead count as experience ?


Sure. I'm assuming you are talking about serving a penal sentence on the Wagner threads....TC's answer to Devil's Island.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Sure. I'm assuming you are talking about serving a penal sentence on the Wagner threads....TC's answer to Devil's Island.


Of course. What else could I be talking about?


----------



## Jos

hpowders said:


> Wanted: TC posters in good standing to eliminate dead poster's musings as these extra posts are directly affecting TC's stored memory capacity.
> 
> Pre-requisite: Engineering degree, Music degree, Chemistry Degree and/or experience working with the dead.
> Australians from Sydney, Canadians from Toronto, Americans from Northern California and Mid-Western Florida particularly welcome; Texans, sometimes from Austin, also considered.
> 
> Please remember in applying for this position: Do not bite off more than you can eschew.


Wrong continent and qualifications, but I used to listen a lot to the Dead; they were very Grateful. Can I apply ?


----------



## Jos

Recommend me some Acid Reggae Fugue.


----------



## hpowders

Jos said:


> Wrong continent and qualifications, but I used to listen a lot to the Dead; they were very Grateful. Can I apply ?


You can apply as a substitute. Meanwhile, get back on the forum, spend two hard weeks on the Wagner threads and re-apply as a serious candidate!


----------



## hpowders

Jos said:


> Recommend me some Acid Reggae Fugue.


Fugue-ed about it.


----------



## Jos

hpowders said:


> You can apply as a substitute. Meanwhile, get back on the forum, spend two hard weeks on the Wagner threads and re-apply as a serious candidate!


Two weeks on the Wagner threads ?? Good grief, the demands for that job.
I'll be a greatful dead myself by then.


----------



## hpowders

Jos said:


> Two weeks on the Wagner threads ?? Good grief, the demands for that job.
> I'll be a greatful dead myself by then.


You do the 2 weeks required on the Wagner thread, and I promise a small cup of Jerry Garcia ice cream will be waiting for you.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Fugue-ed about it.


the Art of Buffalo Springfield Soldier


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> the Art of Buffalo Springfield Soldier


Okay....for What it's Worth.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Wanted: TC posters in good standing to eliminate dead poster's musings as these extra posts are directly affecting TC's stored memory capacity.
> 
> Pre-requisite: Engineering degree, Music degree, Chemistry Degree and/or experience working with the dead.
> Australians from Sydney, Canadians from Toronto, Americans from Northern California and Mid-Western Florida particularly welcome; Texans, sometimes from Austin, also considered.
> 
> Please remember in applying for this position: Do not bite off more than you can eschew.


What about Australians from Gerang Gerung (just down the road from Rainbow), with a Degree in Possums

http://www.whereis.com/vic/gerang-gerung-3418


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> the Art of Buffalo Springfield Soldier


Great. Now I have the Buffalo Soldier song stuck in my head. Is there a cure for it?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What about Australians from Gerang Gerung (just down the road from Rainbow), with a Degree in Possums
> 
> http://www.whereis.com/vic/gerang-gerung-3418


If we broaden the geographical search, there will be so many applicants, those of us reading the applications will roo the day, so we have to keep the locations down to the a-possum-ate areas listed in the original listing.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Great. Now I have the Buffalo Soldier song stuck in my head. Is there a cure for it?


Just imagine it on a Huge organ in a Wagnerian style........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just imagine it on a Huge organ in a Wagnerian style........


Careful....beware of Mona, the censor.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just imagine it on a Huge organ in a Wagnerian style........


I don't think Wagner used huge organs. He knew how to use them.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> If we broaden the geographical search, there will be so many applicants, those of us reading the applications will roo the day, so we have to keep the locations down to the a-possum-ate areas listed in the original listing.


Oh so no Rainbows, or even Tarranyurk (just above Antwerp)- Ant eaters everywhere will be so disappointed


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> I don't think Wagner used huge organs. He knew how to use them.


I'll take your word for that


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Careful....beware of Mona, the censor.


Yeah, she plays a mean one and Ziggy played guitar


----------



## Jos

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just imagine it on a Huge organ in a Wagnerian style........


I imagined it and it is worse than what it was suposed to cure....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jos said:


> I imagined it and it is worse than what it was suposed to cure....


You know what they say about taste and medicine............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

"No Frozen Voices Today": A Plea for humanity


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Wanted: TC posters in good standing to eliminate dead poster's musings as these extra posts are directly affecting TC's stored memory capacity.
> 
> Pre-requisite: Engineering degree, Music degree, Chemistry Degree and/or experience working with the dead.
> Australians from Sydney, Canadians from Toronto, Americans from Northern California and Mid-Western Florida particularly welcome; Texans, sometimes from Austin, also considered.
> 
> Please remember in applying for this position: Do not bite off more than you can eschew.


What about a degree in drinkology from the university in Kaniva, the only place in Australia where if you say can I have a Beer in the pub - it does not go down very well............... Its not far from Gerang Gerung you know!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaniva


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mozart's most Frozen Pieces


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Mozart's most Frozen Pieces


Eine Kleine Kaltmusik.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What about a degree in drinkology from the university in Kaniva, the only place in Australia where if you say can I have a Beer in the pub - it does not go down very well............... Its not far from Gerang Gerung you know!
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaniva


Okay, but on a trial basis only.

You still need to do your two weeks of fieldwork on the Wagner threads.


----------



## hpowders

Petition to change the name of "Area 51" to "Jauchet Gott in allen Landen, BWV 51" since that IS the complete name of the area in question.

Sign by clicking "Yes".


----------



## millionrainbows

The Cabaret Songs of Schoenberg:

Fly Me to the Blood-Red Moon
All the Things You Are, Unconsciously
Autumn Leaves (and Other Dead Things)
Me and My Two Shadows (Berg and Webern)


----------



## hpowders

TC Lighthearted Social Interaction Section

Do you like soda?

Post no. 1: When I found out soda is bad for me, I immediately Schwepped all the soda bottles into the trash.

How about you?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC Lighthearted Social Interaction Section
> 
> Do you like soda?
> 
> Post no. 1: When I found out soda is bad for me, I immediately Schwepped all the soda bottles into the trash.
> 
> How about you?


I keep strictly to the Schwartz label stuff


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Only 5 pages to go, more stupid posts bring it on................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Most Composers Over-eating and Underfeed


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Neglected games that composers play- round 2, March 18-??


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Operas you wish you had not seen apart from Wagner


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do you have a Frozen life, Let it go?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

* Do you have a Frozen life, Let it go - the prelude?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

15 Forgotten Operas Ripe for destruction


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Most Secretive Composers in history


----------



## Jos

Do you have a secret wife ?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jos said:


> Do you have a secret wife ?


ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh, that's secret


----------



## millionrainbows

Which do you like better, John Cage's completely undetermined random music, or his music that is completely determined by chance means?


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Which do you like better, John Cage's completely undetermined random music, or his music that is completely determined by chance means?


I'll have to flip a coin to figure out the answer...


----------



## millionrainbows

And now, a look at John Cage's very last works, which he composed by using the drool patterns created by his leaning over the score paper. Also, various food colorings were applied to his tongue, to create different colors on the score (known as 'prepared tongue').


----------



## Dim7

Do you have a secret criminal career?


----------



## hpowders

Why did Sibelius Finnish composing so early in his career?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Only 5 pages to go, more stupid posts bring it on................


If we didn't have to wait the blasted two seconds to "like" consecutive posts, we would have reached the goal by now.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh, that's secret


So you were building roads, eh? With or without chains?


----------



## Meyerbeer Smith

Spicing up opera productions: How would you put frottage, ************ and dismemberment into Mozart?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> So you were building roads, eh? With or without chains?


Roads and Chains are for after hours.................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Do you have a secret criminal career?


How about Composers with Secret criminal careers..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The longest leaving but coming back thread on TC- how can make the longest one............ before it gets closed, you gotta beat 7 pages!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The longest leaving but coming back thread on TC- how can make the longest one............ before it gets closed, you gotta beat 7 pages!


It got closed because the PTB are jealous that you returned.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> It got closed because the PTB are jealous that you returned.


Should I do it again like Dame Nellie Melba, maybe I could even make an Opera out of it........


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Should I do it again like Dame Nellie Melba, maybe I could even make an Opera out of it........


Called: Pêche Melba.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Called: Pêche Melba.


That would be sweet


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why aren't you a Groupie?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

If.................................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I...............................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

post.......................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

like.....................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

this...................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

we...............................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

get....................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

to......................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

1000...............................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

pages..............................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

sooner..................................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: How much do you like Cage?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How did you get into Hip Hop music?


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: How much do you like Cage?


Does The Birdcage counts?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pieces of cheesecake that you have eaten recently?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The "unHappy Birthday Opera Artist" thread


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Conducting from the triangle


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: How much do you like Bach on a casual basis?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Where can I avoid Opera radio recordings?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: What triangle manufacturer do you think is the best


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

15 Forgotten Operas Ripe to be forgetten again


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The cloud computing and rainy day Thread


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Should I do it again like Dame Nellie Melba, maybe I could even make an Opera out of it........


Sure. Try to close the deal!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: What is your favorite type of silence?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

* Poll: What to do with all the old polls?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Which do you prefer; stone tablets or Ipads?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

which post will do it..............................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Was Beethoven ever captured on film?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Thread: Beethoven and Miss Piggy


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Your Potatoes with cheesecake?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why Can't I have a Groupie?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Does a STI backhole of Stupidity of incredible density appear when we get to 1000 posts?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Why Can't I have a Groupie?


How much money ya got?


----------



## hpowders

Trace the relationship between the development of the harpsichord and the Prelude to Act One of Wagner's Tristan und Isolde.

Note: An adequate response to this post determined by the Wagner Committee will earn the poster 1/2 hour of fieldwork credit toward the two weeks needed for being declared a legitimate Wagner thread poster.


----------



## millionrainbows

SimonTemplar said:


> Spicing up opera productions: How would you put frottage, ************ and dismemberment into Mozart?


The Beheading of Don Giovanni (with cheese). Oops, sorry, I thought it was _fromage._


----------



## Vaneyes

*Roads to nowhere, good or bad?

*


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> *Roads to nowhere, good or bad?
> 
> *


Ya gotta spend 4 infrastructure!!! Believe me, it's gonna B huge!

_Tapp_* three times if ya agree.

*Trump's spelling of "tap". I guess they don't care much for correct spelling at University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School for Business.


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Ya gotta spend 4 infrastructure!!! Believe me, it's gonna B huge!
> 
> _Tapp_ three times if ya agree.


"Wealy, wealy, gweat."


----------



## millionrainbows

As long as avocados do not increase in price, I don't care.


----------



## hpowders

Duke Snider, slugger for the Brooklyn Dodgers in the 1950's, was a California avocado farmer.


----------



## hpowders

Which is greater: the sound of a harpsichord or Romantic Period music?

Not a poll. Simply discuss or debate.


----------



## Jos

Should we open a new thread to congratulate the hardcore STI contributers on 1000 pages of the greatest, but highly amusing, stupidity ?

CONGRATULATIONS !!:cheers:


upload pics


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> *Roads to nowhere, good or bad?
> 
> *


Hey thats one of mine


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> "Wealy, wealy, gweat."


You ate the lucky winner of the 1000th post stupidity contest, where do you want your black hole of stupidity delivered too or you can nominate a lucky recipient, presidents included............


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You *ate *the lucky winner of the 1000th post stupidity contest, where do you want your black hole of stupidity delivered too or you can nominate a lucky recipient, presidents included............


Is this a typo or did Vaneyes actually eat the winner? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Is this a typo or did Vaneyes actually eat the winner? :lol:


LOL, typo but is better this way- I'm currently staying in airbnb's in Melb, on my new road projects and my access to the laptop is somewhat cramped


----------



## hpowders

What's 1000? My contract calls for 10,000 pages.


----------



## hpowders

Wagner & Hitler. Hitler & Wagner. Inseparable!

Debate & discuss.


----------



## hpowders

Is Meryl Streep a better actor than Beethoven was a composer?


----------



## hpowders

Would Beethoven

1. have sat through Tristan und Isolde in ecstasy

2. laughed his way through Parsifal

3. Declared "this nut Wagner's a genius!"

4. Exclaimed in anger, "Wagner?? Das ist kein Mann!"


----------



## hpowders

STI Quiz.

Who founded STI?


----------



## hpowders

STI Quiz

What date was STI founded on?


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that most poster refuse to post on TC because they get no posting credit?


----------



## hpowders

Rumor has it that Donald Trump wants to put his face on the $2 bill, replacing "In God We Trust" with "Stupid Thread Ideas".

Debate & discuss.

Warning: This is only a rumor/rumour.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Did you ever eat an egg that came from a chicken you ate?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

The great toilet roll debate: over or under. Support your stance!


----------



## Dim7

What are your thoughts on thinking about the philosophy of metaphilosophy?


----------



## Jos

hpowders said:


> Would Beethoven
> 
> 1. have sat through Tristan und Isolde in ecstasy


I doubt it; maybe ON ecstasy.....


----------



## hpowders

The following thread has been moved from Stupid Thread Ideas to the Musical Instrument Incompetency Thread:

Kyung Wha Chung back recording after 15 years!

Post No. 1: _Wha_ took her so long? I heard she injured her left index finger. Is that finger so important for playing the violin? Couldn't she have simply done alternative fingerings with her left thumb?


----------



## Blancrocher

*Comment on Your Musical Taste*

In your opinion, which taste better: cds or vinyl? My favorite is probably cooked vinyl, though this may be less owing to its flavor than its texture. Feel free to share your opinions, whatever they may be-and remember, there are no wrong answers here, only preferences.

I thought it would be a good time to ask, since its almost barbecue season.


----------



## millionrainbows

Wagner and Hitler: Me and my Shadow


----------



## hpowders

Novice here.

You think I'm stupid? You think I believe Schubert wrote for Martians? Schubert wrote piano music for four hands?

I know I'm new here, but what is this, some sort of initiation into the club? Four hands, my ***!


----------



## hpowders

Blancrocher said:


> *Comment on Your Musical Taste*
> 
> In your opinion, which taste better: cds or vinyl? My favorite is probably cooked vinyl, though this may be less owing to its flavor than its texture. Feel free to share your opinions, whatever they may be-and remember, there are no wrong answers here, only preferences.
> 
> I thought it would be a good time to ask, since its almost barbecue season.


For me, the tastiest are cylinders made of wax, Max.

Melts in your mouth!

If you have 4 hands, melts in your multiple mouths.


----------



## hpowders

Which do you favor:

1. Spring Roll

2. Egg Roll

3. Tootsie Roll

4. Piano Roll

5. A roll in the hay


----------



## Bettina

Do you sometimes listen to neglected composers because you feel sorry for them? In other words, a "pity-listen?"


----------



## hpowders

TC composing contest:

Compose a funeral march of 10 minutes or less:

Topic: the demise of the Audio CD.


----------



## hpowders

Do you sometimes "like" neglected posters, doing charity likes, so you feel noble and sleep like a baby?


----------



## Dim7

Stupid loading and warning ideas


----------



## hpowders

Do you sometimes feel sorry for TC members who don't write dissertational posts; whose short, compact posts get dwarfed and swallowed up by the bloviating egoists among us? Do you therefore, "pithy-like"?


----------



## Blancrocher

*Best piece of a composer*

What do you think? Coccyx? Amygdala? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the right arm.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Do you think Trump gets his hairpieces for free? Or does he have toupee? Discuss.


----------



## Blancrocher

*Definitely Recordings*
























I would say that the things pictured above are definitely recordings, but feel free to disagree. Can you think of anything else that's definitely a recording?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is the Triangle an undervalued instrument?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is the point of tonal music?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is the *Triangle* an undervalued instrument?


Not when it is spelled with a Capital T!!!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What is the point of tonal music?


Atonalist lovers use "tonal" in place of "stupid", because calling the vast number of classical music lovers the later, is a violation of the ToS.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Atonalist lovers use "tonal" in place of "stupid", because calling the vast number of classical music lovers the later, is a violation of the ToS.


Your words not mine...................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

* Not so great Singers with pleasant voices*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

twenty four-tone music


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is the Triangle an undervalued instrument?


You should hear the WTC on the triangle. Then you'll never want to hear it on piano.


----------



## hpowders

*Florida Swamp Gazette*-the hellhole's favorite daily periodical (temperature 97 degrees, humidity 87%)

Legal Notice to all classical music swamp dwellers:

If you have been maligned by TC mods; unjustly banned without trial, CALL US!!! There may be money coming to you!!!

*Zelenka & Wieniawski, cyber-attorneys*, seeking justice for helpless posters throughout North America and the Free World.


----------



## hpowders

TC relationship Department

How come when I was in my 20's, whenever I played some Romantic classical music, such as Chopin, Schumann or Brahms, the mood of my date turned decidedly un-romantic?


----------



## hpowders

Help Identify this Scarlatti Sonata:

It goes "DA da da da DE, da, DA, da" as a cheerful allegro.

Thanks for the help. I don't know where else to turn!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Help Identify this Scarlatti Sonata:
> 
> It goes "DA da da da DE, da, DA, da" as a cheerful allegro.
> 
> Thanks for the help. I don't know where else to turn!


You sure that wasn't Scritti Polliti


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is the Triangle an undervalued instrument?


Not if it's made of glass. It can then be used as a refractive prism, breaking white light apart into its component colors.


----------



## hpowders

New Management on TC:

From now on, pre-requisites will be needed to post: 2 credit college course certificates must be presented for understanding the music of Schnittke, Boulez and at least three obscure atonalists.

Failure to provide these certificates will place all members on the Community Forum where you can talk about why you are depressed and what you just ate until you are blue in the face.


----------



## Bettina

Breaking news:

Cage's estate is now demanding royalties for every performance of 4'33". This means that you have to pay royalties every single time that you hear silence, whether it's at home, in your car, or anywhere else.


----------



## Totenfeier

Who would be the *worst* actor to play (insert composer here) in a movie?

More than one answer is acceptable.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Breaking news:
> 
> Cage's estate is now demanding royalties for every performance of 4'33". This means that you have to pay royalties every single time that you hear silence, whether it's at home, in your car, or anywhere else.


But....but....but....that's not fair!


----------



## hpowders

Technical Department

Today is my birthday and I really dig all the attention I'm getting.

How can I adjust my profile so I can have this birthday thing done say....once a month?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> But....but....but....that's not fair!


You'll get caged if you don't pay.............


----------



## hpowders

What is the ideal time to listen to Beethoven's late quartets?

Define "late".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You'll get caged if you don't pay.............


Good to see you understand, all payments are to be made to the Cage Instituted of Vinyl Research (CIVR) c/o EddieRUKidding


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What if Rachmaninoff had have been a minimalist composer- how long do you think he would have lasted before his desire for more notes got the better of him.......................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What if Rachmaninoff had have been a minimalist composer- how long do you think he would have lasted before his desire for more notes got the better of him.......................


If it cuts down on the All-Night Vigil to say 17 minutes, I'm all for it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Minimalist version of Beethovens' 5th, its just dada ..................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Did Mozart really exist or is he just made up like Shakespeare??


----------



## Totenfeier

If you took you favorite note from every symphony ever written, could you put them together into your own symphony, how long would it be, how would it sound, and how would you deal with copyright issues? NEED ANSWER FAST!!!


----------



## hpowders

Totenfeier said:


> If you took you favorite note from every symphony ever written, could you put them together into your own symphony, how long would it be, how would it sound, and how would you deal with copyright issues? NEED ANSWER FAST!!!


Good thing I have a computer that can actually do this! I'll get Bach to you!


----------



## hpowders

You guys got me in trouble!!

My mom grounded me for a week because I drew a horizontal line from the living room wall to my listening room wall with black magic marker after reading "Where do you draw the line with CDs?"

I'm seriously thinking of leaving TC. Should I just go or do I need to write a farewell thread? I just want to get it_ write!_!


----------



## Jacred

So...what if all the composers we talk about had TC accounts?


----------



## Totenfeier

hpowders said:


> Good thing I have a computer that can actually do this! I'll get Bach to you!


So what you're saying is that your computer can Handel it? Is it an original instrument? After these questions, I'll be Haydn! Ba-doom-TISH!


----------



## hpowders

Totenfeier said:


> So what you're saying is that your computer can Handel it? Is it an original instrument? After these questions, I'll be Haydn! Ba-doom-TISH!


When I pass on, I'm taking my computer with me, since it is already "in the cloud".


----------



## hpowders

To the nice poster who left me the tasty sausage for my birthday, let me say...

Thanks for the links!!


----------



## Totenfeier

Jacred said:


> So...what if all the composers we talk about had TC accounts?


Should composers be allowed to be their own avatars on TC?


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> Breaking news:
> 
> Cage's estate is now demanding royalties for every performance of 4'33". This means that you have to pay royalties every single time that you hear silence, whether it's at home, in your car, or anywhere else.


What does silence have to do with 4'33"? The piece consists of ambient sounds heard during a specific performance. There is no "consistency" to the piece at all in this regard, so no uniform pattern of sound could be attached to 4'33."

Also, each performance experience of 4'33" is singular, so it could not be repeated.

In this regard, 4'33" defies the principles of copyright law, since it is not a "set of sounds" but is a framework/bracket into which sounds can occur. The copyright exists to protect the idea, not any performance of it.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Did Mozart really exist or is he just made up like Shakespeare??


Shakespeare was made up? I thought he was a heterosexual.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> What does silence have to do with 4'33"? The piece consists of ambient sounds heard during a specific performance. There is no "consistency" to the piece at all in this regard, so no uniform pattern of sound could be attached to 4'33."
> 
> Also, each performance experience of 4'33" is singular, so it could not be repeated.
> 
> In this regard, 4'33" defies the principles of copyright law, since it is not a "set of sounds" but is a framework/bracket into which sounds can occur. The copyright exists to protect the idea, not any performance of it.


What a serious and correct post and from the creator of STI wow, is it now called serious thread ideas....... in Zappa's Joe's garage- will I have to pay rrroyaaaaalitiesssssssssss


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Shakespeare was made up? I thought he was a heterosexual.


Some say he was Zubin Mehta


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Totenfeier said:


> Should composers be allowed to be their own avatars on TC?


Can Pugg be his one??


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Some say he was Zubin Mehta


Oh...so he was a Mehta-sexual???


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> So...what if all the composers we talk about had TC accounts?


What you mean Zozart has one................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Totenfeier said:


> If you took you favorite note from every symphony ever written, could you put them together into your own symphony, how long would it be, how would it sound, and how would you deal with copyright issues? NEED ANSWER FAST!!!


Don't know about copyright but could sound a bit like this.............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

_Do you love Zozart like strawberries covered in chocolate?_


----------



## Dr Johnson

Lack of perversity.


----------



## Granate

Golden Julius Seizure posts and other children you want back at TC for the sake of knowing more about Thomas Adès.

My favourite:

_"Col bruckner!!! is he baroque! I like his concerto grossoo and symphoyn 23!"

"oops i mean shostaacovich"_

Work of a genius.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The first thing you ate?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Reviews of operas you haven't attended


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What's your Mail number?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What's your phone number?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What's your house number?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What's your bank account number?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

think that should do it


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What's your bank account number?


I just go to Western Union.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I just go to Western Union.


They take it for you hey


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> They take it for you hey


Tell me more about this bank account thing.

I may want to check it out.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Tell me more about this bank account thing.


Sure, well its simple you just tell me the numbers of your account and then I take care of the rest, the CIVR Cage Institute of Vinyl Research which is not in any way associated with buying records for EddieRUKidding, will be most grateful...........


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The first thing you ate?










This will do.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sure, well its simple you just tell me the numbers of your account and then I take care of the rest, the CIVR Cage Institute of Vinyl Research which is not in any way associated with buying records for EddieRUKidding, will be most grateful...........


But I don't have an account. That's why I was checking in with you, but in asking you for an informational deposit, you seem to have become evasive in giving me the slip.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement:

Due to rabid German anti-semitism, for his own protection, Herr Goldberg has changed his name.

Henceforth, the Bach work to which Mr. Goldberg contributed the theme, will be known as the Johnson Variations.


----------



## hpowders

TC Cuisine Department

If General Custer was dining on chicken tikka wrapped in nan, while riding into battle, would he have easily made peace with the indians instead of getting slaughtered?

It's really nan of my business, but I would like to know, anyway.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> TC Cuisine Department
> 
> If General Custer was dining on chicken tikka wrapped in nan, while riding into battle, would he have easily made peace with the indians instead of getting slaughtered?
> 
> It's really nan of my business, but I would like to know, anyway.


Relax, darjeeling and just bask in the radiant glow of the music!!


----------



## hpowders

TC Panic Help Thread

Help!! The "Where's PetrB?" thread has been closed! How are we ever going to find him now??

I will gladly pay you Monday for a Valium today!


----------



## hpowders

Overheard at the Tampa Bay Society of Musical Masochists:

"Have you ever tried being a contemporary atonal classical music composer? Such an incomparable high!! As close to the feeling of being water-boarded, without the indignity of getting soaking wet!"


----------



## hpowders

Overheard in a Crystal Cruises restaurant:

"Our soup of the day is a freshly made New England Clam Chowder, liberally laced with Spanish Sherry.

Our melody of the day is the Pifa from Handel's Messiah."


----------



## hpowders

TC Game Department:

Your mission if you decide to accept it:

Find PetrB!!!

Reward: All of Wagner's Operas on DVD's with one week of free posting on the Wagner threads, without having to do one's homework first.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Announcement:
> 
> Due to rabid German anti-semitism, for his own protection, Herr Goldberg has changed his name.
> 
> Henceforth, the Bach work to which Mr. Goldberg contributed the theme, will be known as the *Johnson* Variations.


Quite right too.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Quite right too.


One would think you would have been satisfied having the world's most popular baby powder named after you!

The insatiability of humans!

I don't know why my parents chose this planet among all the millions of others.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> You should have been satisfied having the world's most popular baby powder named after you!


It rubs off after a while.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> It rubs off after a while.


It should have been called J & J hpowders. I admit that I'm more than a little hurt that it wasn't.

I'm not kidding. It's not just bloviating talc!!


----------



## hpowders

I've thought of being a composer today.

So is Wednesday the best day for being a composer, or should I wait for one of the other six days? Which day is best?


----------



## mathisdermaler

Best Bach opera?


----------



## hpowders

mathisdermaler said:


> Best Bach opera?


Orpheus in the Underworld. It _Offen_ brings them _Bach._


----------



## millionrainbows

Robert Schumann: Water Music

Newly discovered Beethoven score, after he was totally deaf: a blank sheet. This _proves_ that he came up with 4'33" before cage did.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Robert Schumann: Water Music
> 
> Newly discovered Beethoven score, after he was totally deaf: a blank sheet. This _proves_ that he came up with 4'33" before cage did.


I heard Schumann left Germany for the US to seek asylum.


----------



## hpowders

Best fairytale music-work and performance.

The Jack and the Beanstalk concerto for viola and orchestra. Michael Tree, viola.

The earlier performance is preferred. The second one is soiled by disappointingly slow tempos.


----------



## hpowders

TC food question section

Can a cereal have gender?

I tend to show Wheetena ( which I consider to be female) some deference that I don't exhibit with Quaker Oats, because the latter has a creepy old dude's picture on the box.

So, do you consider Wheetena and Farina female gender cereals?

I also read that Beethoven really loved Wheetena.


----------



## hpowders

Whoops! I posted something about Ives on the main form.

It was simply a human error! I know I shoulda posted it on the new, exclusive Modern forum!!

Please don't ban me!! I promise to be more careful next time!!


----------



## hpowders

TC Aviation Department

Were the Wright Brothers wrong?


----------



## hpowders

Notice:

Thanks to President Trump's perusal of TC this morning, he has decided to use Liszt's transcription of Beethoven's "Scene by the Brook" from the Pastoral Symphony as an accompaniment to all waterboarding of terrorist suspects starting tomorrow.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Notice:
> 
> Thanks to President Trump's perusal of TC this morning, he has decided to use Liszt's transcription of Beethoven's "Scene by the Brook" from the Pastoral Symphony as an accompaniment to all waterboarding of terrorist suspects starting tomorrow.


I will gladly volunteer to provide live performances of this work. My wrong notes and frequent hesitations will greatly add to the torture. The terrorists will undoubtedly break down and confess within a few minutes!


----------



## hpowders

While perusing the TC pages this morning, President Trump noticed the "ballet" section.

He feels it would be cheaper to use natural lake water for water-boarding, rather than pay the water company, to help balance our budget.

Does anyone know where the Swan Lake is? Is it man-made or naturally occurring? When is nobody there?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I will gladly volunteer to provide live performances of this work. My wrong notes and frequent hesitations will greatly add to the torture. The terrorists will undoubtedly break down and confess within a few minutes!


I'm sure you play very well! I would volunteer to keep you AWAY from them!


----------



## hpowders

President Trump on watching a TC YouTube video of Prokofiev's Cinderella:

"Does she have legitimate papers? If not, I want her GONE!!"


----------



## hpowders

Confidential from a Trump staff person:

The President was listening to classical radio, expected his favorite classical music, "Extreme Minimalism" but instead, received a mega dose of Beethoven's Emperor Concerto. He made a frown of extreme distaste and asked "what the hell is that?" When told it was the Emperor Concerto, he immediately proclaimed, "I want that played at the end of every one of my press conferences and rallies! It's gonna be huge!!"


----------



## hpowders

Best performance of Der Rosenhammerklavier by Richard Strauss?


----------



## hpowders

Posting Lessons from the Masters Section: A Talk Classical Sub-Forum proudly hidden and inaccessible to most members.

Okay. What is posting virtuosity? Is it just speed?

hpowders responds: You obviously have a lot to learn. Posting virtuosity has to do with being able to write in a style that moves other posters....assuming they don't all have you on "ignore"....it doesn't matter at what tempo you type-allegro, andante, adagio...being able to move other posters takes years, if at all...remaining illusive for all but the greatest wordsmiths. THAT is posting virtuosity.

P.S. Don't forget to log out using the 17 digit exclusive sub-forum password.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Best performance of Autobahn by Mozart


----------



## hpowders

Would the world be a better place if we could just get Lang Lang to simply stop playing?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Best performance of Autobahn by Mozart


Yes I know it well. Die Autobahn. BMW 327b.


----------



## Dim7

*New Subsubsubsubforum?*

The subforum "Recorded Music and Publications" has its own subforum (a subsubforum if you will) "Hi-Fi" for those who want the best hardware to get the best sound quality for their music. Shouldn't that forum in turn have a subforum for subwoofers? In other words it would be a subsubsubforum for subs, or "subsubsubsubforum" as one could call it. If for no other reason than we'd have an excuse to say "subsubsubsubforum". Many thanks for mods if they are willing to consider this.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> *New Subsubsubsubforum?*
> 
> The subforum "Recorded Music and Publications" has its own subforum (a subsubforum if you will) "Hi-Fi" for those who want the best hardware to get the best sound quality for their music. Shouldn't that forum in turn have a subforum for subwoofers? In other words it would be a subsubsubforum for subs, or "subsubsubsubforum" as one could call it. If for no other reason than we'd have an excuse to say "subsubsubsubforum". Many thanks for mods if they are willing to consider this.


We must have a subforum for Capacitors- i will only play Mozart using the best Caps


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I propose we start a wet sock sub-forum


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I propose we start a wet sock sub-forum


The *wet sock®™* was my idea back when I was 11, you know. :angel:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> The *wet sock®™* was my idea back when I was 11, you know. :angel:


Damn and so it was you......................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Cage's 4'33'' at My Wedding


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Help me under-appreciate Mozart!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is Beethoven alright?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Best Cage Work besides ASLSP


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Which Bi-cycle(s) do YOU own?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Nicknames for ALL of Zozart's numbered works


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Motels?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Cage has Blown my Mind ,Help!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is your favorite Broke piece?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do you have a Handle on Handel's Operas?


----------



## Ingélou

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Cage has Blown my Mind ,Help!


Ooh-er...!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Damn and so it was you......................


Yes and I will expect a royalty check after you have finished.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Yes and I will expect a royalty check after you have finished.


I'll post you all my old wet socks, hows that.............. I'd say even!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'll post you all my old wet socks, hows that.............. I'd say even!


Remember what Sock-rates used to say-(from the classical Greek)-"Beethoven's music is all the philosophy I would ever need!!" "Okay, enough with the philosophy for one day, I'm going over to Gus' Diner for some broiled octopus."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favorite Beefheart Ninth Symphony?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Favorite Beefheart Ninth Symphony?


I have this on DVD and it has _captains_ so I can understand the words.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I have this on DVD and it has _captains_ so I can understand the words.


Just like a trout in a mask but a replica hey


----------



## hpowders

Which silent movie would 4'33" work best in as a soundtrack?


----------



## Dim7

Help me despise Mozart!


----------



## hpowders

TC Polling Sub-Forum

Hello. Glad you found us. I hope the 1/2 hour effort was worth it!

"It's a good ring, not an exceptional one."

This was quoted from:

1. A salesperson at Tiffany's when a guy was trying to cheap out on his fiancé by attempting to buy a piece of glass

2. A CD review of Barenboim's Ring

3. A Met Opera armchair bully who didn't move his arms for 5 hours of Siegfried at the Met

4. An instructor at plumbing school where the instructor was teaching a hands on course for the proper squeezing out of a saturated washcloth.


----------



## hpowders

TC Polling Sub-Forum:

Now that you are here, try this poll:

"Mahler takes a while to get into."

This is because:

1. Mahler's music is inaccessible to Gentiles

2. Mahler's music is written exclusively for Jews

3. Mahler was a virgin and required extreme gentleness

4. All of the above


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Help me despise Mozart!


Simple just change your name to Salieri


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Simple just change your name to Salieri


So freakin' obvious. I can't believe he didn't see it!!


----------



## hpowders

I saw it on a basic IQ test, except it was written 'Someone approaches you and asks, "Help me to loathe Mozart".'

The correct answer is and always has been, "Change your name to Salieri."

Anybody who expects to have a job with a high Salieri, better be able to answer stuff like that!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I saw it on a basic IQ test, except it was written 'Someone approaches you and asks, "Help me to loath Mozart".'
> 
> The correct answer is and always has been, "Change your name to Salieri."
> 
> Anybody who expects to have a job with a high Salieri, better be able to answer stuff like that!!!


Also helps if you like Salieri in your Caesar Salad too, is good with cheese also I'm told........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Also helps if you like Salieri in your Caesar Salad too, is good with cheese also I told........


As long as the Salieri stays in the salad. I hate when it starts stalking me.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> As longs the Salieri stays in the salad. I hate when it starts stalking me.


So thats how Mozart coped it, saladed to death by a stalking Salieri


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Top Trianglists of our time


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Help me appreciate unknown composers!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What are you not doing right now?


----------



## Dim7

What old embarrassing posts of yours you wouldn't want other members to read?


----------



## hpowders

Composer Elimination Game.

Come back after you have purchased a slide rule, log table and mainframe computer.

Next week I will publish the rules of this game. You're gonna love it!!!


----------



## hpowders

The most humble, anti-semitic composers vs. the most arrogant tolerant composers.


----------



## hpowders

As an inventor of the Sock Technique™ when I was 11, does that make me an Early Romantic?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> As an inventor of the Sock Technique™ when I was 11, does that make me an Early Romantic?


I would have thought the socks were Baroque


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Composer Elimination Game.
> 
> Come back after you have purchased a slide rule, log table and mainframe computer.
> 
> Next week I will publish the rules of this game. You're gonna love it!!!


Oh goody can we play with the tubes too


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Help me appreciate Wet Socks in purely Baroque way of course!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Help me appreciate Wet Socks in purely Baroque way of course!


Whenever a relationship I've been in got Baroque-n, the socks would be very hand-y.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Oh goody can we play with the tubes too


I'm assuming the mainframe has some nice warm valves and none of the trans stuff


----------



## hpowders

Hi. I'm at a classical concert and I just got a cellphone call asking me 'What am I wearing?'

Is that from anybody here?


----------



## hpowders

As an experiment if I listed "hpowders" as an unknown composer, how many posters would defend my compositions, even though I've never written any?

1. 1-10

2. between 20-30

3. more than 30

4. Who can tell? That thread is still going strong after 7 months!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Hi. I'm at a classical concert and I just got a cellphone call asking me 'What am I wearing?'
> 
> Is that from anybody here?


Are you wearing socks, or have you used up your entire sock collection for other purposes?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Are you wearing socks, or have you used up your entire sock collection for other purposes?


Yeah. Out of desperation I sometimes have to switch to sandals, but as I get older, I anticipate this will become less of a problem. Diminishing returns, as they say.


----------



## Jos

Bettina said:


> Are you wearing socks, or have you used up your entire sock collection for other purposes?


Darn Bettina, now you've connected Hpowders to the Red Hot Chili Peppers in my mental picture gallery


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What socks do you wear to classical performances?


----------



## Granate

Dim7 said:


> Help me despise Mozart!


While J.S. Bach has resisted to many interpretation trends, modern-instrument orchestras misunderstand Mozart's music as lightweight and playful, like producing records to play in farms so cows become smarter and provide fresh iMilk for 30$ per litre.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What socks do you wear to classical performances?


Dry ones.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Dry ones.


You've still got some?????


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You've still got some?????


The older I get, the dryer they become.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> The older I get, the dryer they become.


Lucky for the socks


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Lucky for the socks


Thanks to me and my Socks™ invention, Wagner was inspired to come up with the idea for the character, Hands' Socks, in Die Meistersinger.


----------



## hpowders

I'm interested in this classical music lover on TC, Ocarina. Where can I find her? What does she wear at concerts? I think we are compatible.


----------



## hpowders

New Introductions.

Ex Marine here.

Got the medal of honor with three of my buddies for duty in Iraq for being part of "last four in, first four out." I know. I don't understand it either.


----------



## millionrainbows

Favorite illegal immigrant composers


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Has Beethoven left already?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Boring Classical Music Program Notes Generator!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Beethoven's 6th at My Bucks Party


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Lesser Known Triangle Concerti Worth Listening


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The Boring Classical Music Program Notes Generator!


I can easily do that without using a generator!  Here's a sample:
Beethoven was born in 1770 and died in 1827. He moved to Vienna at the age of 21 and remained there for the rest of his life. He wrote nine symphonies, 32 piano sonatas, and 16 string quartets. Many of his pieces use sonata form, which has an exposition, development and recapitulation...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Geologic Period-Based Subforums for really old Classical music


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Geologic Period-Based Subforums for really old Classical music


The Mesozoic era: a time when mezzo-sopranos reigned supreme in opera.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> The Mesozoic era: a time when mezzo-sopranos reigned supreme in opera.


Just along as they don't use genetic engineering to bring them back and put them on an Island somewhere... They would be called Moderataptors


----------



## Dr Johnson

Bettina said:


> The Mesozoic era: a time when mezzo-sopranos reigned supreme in opera.


Talking of eras, what would be the cutoff point for castrati?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dr Johnson said:


> Talking of eras, what would be the cutoff point for castrati?


At the subforum. I believe


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Make-believe compositions...
Duo for percussion and tenor 
Percussion: Rolls-Royce "played" with fireaxe
Tenor: the owner (bound)
can be arranged for larger groups.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Should we start up a Moderators subforum in STI.......


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What undergarments do you wear to classical performances?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Unknown composer #433: .............


----------



## hpowders

Musical vocabulary tutoring section:

Is it true that tenors who couldn't make it in singing and had to get regular day jobs working in grocery stores were called counter-tenors?


----------



## hpowders

After you come back from a classical concert, which clothing do you take off first?


----------



## hpowders

TC Investing Opportunities Sub-Section of the Main Section:

Glad you finally found us!

I made a lot of money in the sock market.

Two important factors:

1. I got in early when I was only 11.

2. I had a good sock broker, Mrs. Goldman.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Talking of eras, what would be the cutoff point for castrati?


Have you tried it with white clam sauce? Delicious!

Don't spill any of the sauce. That can be a penne!


----------



## hpowders

Proposal: Instead of banning naughty posters, let's have a punishment sub-section, located very far beneath the main section, re-enforced with thick steel walls and doors, where nobody will be able to hear their screams!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What undergarments do you wear to classical performances?


I don't. That way I have a freely-moving metronome.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I can easily do that without using a generator!  Here's a sample:
> Beethoven was born in 1770 and died in 1827. He moved to Vienna at the age of 21 and remained there for the rest of his life. He wrote nine symphonies, 32 piano sonatas, and 16 string quartets. Many of his pieces use sonata form, which has an exposition, development and recapitulation...


A generator??? I would expect the giant's wife from Jack and the Beanstalk probably got one for Christmas to increase her limited interest.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> A generator??? I would expect the giant's wife from Jack and the Beanstalk probably got one for Christmas to increase her limited interest.


Yes. Perfect size for a giant's wife.


----------



## hpowders

TC fresh fruit section:

If you live anywhere but Florida and are able to get perfect Temple eating oranges "from Florida", let me know.
I have Bruckner CD's to trade.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Do you associate certain smells with a composer?


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Have you tried it with white clam sauce? Delicious!
> 
> Don't spill any of the sauce. That can be a penne!


Rocky Mountain oysters with white clam sauce?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC Investing Opportunities Sub-Section of the Main Section:
> 
> Glad you finally found us!
> 
> I made a lot of money in the sock market.
> 
> Two important factors:
> 
> 1. I got in early when I was only 11.
> 
> 2. I had a good sock broker, Mrs. Goldman.


Quick quick sell my socks, I hear the going in shorts is the way now......


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Proposal: let's have a separate forum for Socks


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who are your favourite Classical musicians aged below 5


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

If you could only have one LGBT symphony bi-cycle...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is Classical Composed Music A Reference Term, Not A Distinct Musical Style?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do we change period-Based Subforums every month?


----------



## hpowders

Proposal: Why not simply convert all of TC into one giant subform, so the members can easily find it on the main forum?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Proposal: Why not simply convert all of TC into one giant subform, so the members can easily find it on the main forum?


Can I have custard and donuts with mine................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

If you 3D print your own classic music CD are you breaching copywrite and will you get laser rot??


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Was Beethoven at My Wedding ?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What Beethoven bicycles have you given away?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is There a Great Composer on Your Plane


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

My collection of handwritten fake music manuscripts,


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is There a Great Composer on Your Plane


Actually, yes! Every time I take a plane trip, there's Stockhausen standing in the aisle conducting his Helicopter Quartet.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Actually, yes! Every time I take a plane trip, there's Stockhausen standing in the aisle conducting his Helicopter Quartet.


Do you fly to sirius often


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> After you come back from a classical concert, which clothing do you take off first?


 .... it all depends on how good the concert was .... & who I came home with! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Which word would you like to see banned from the English language?

1. Dragoon

2. Baboon

3. Maroon

4. Bassoon

6. Macaroon

7. Spittoon 

8. I don't care. Just do it soon.


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> .... it all depends on how good the concert was .... & who I came home with! :devil:


That eliminates me. I rarely attend live concerts.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Was Beethoven at My Wedding ?


Two fantasies in one?


----------



## hpowders

Do classical concerts wear well?


----------



## hpowders

Would Beethoven attend my wedding if I promised to have unlimited conversation notebooks there for him to use?

I think if I made him comfortable, he would come.

Excuse me. The nurse is coming to give me my thorazine. I will be back for the answers in about four hours.


----------



## hpowders

Talk Classical Intellectual Sub-Forum:

Name an instrument that needs to be kept in an orchestra.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I don't. That way I have a freely-moving metronome.


Hey, maybe you could use it as a baton too! You could get up on stage and do some conducting.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hey, maybe you could use it as a baton too! You could get up on stage and do some conducting.


Sure. Why not? I would choose to conduct some Boulez. That way the audience would be asleep and wouldn't notice my experimentally unique conducting style.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here. I usually choose playing Mobile Strike over reading great books, newspapers or keeping informed about significant world events. So what's some good music to accompany Mobile Strike? By the way I downloaded it free from _de Epp Store._


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Talk Classical Intellectual Sub-Forum:
> 
> Name an instrument that needs to be kept in an orchestra.


Ah, you mean kept in stupid me I thought you said out, well the lagerphone then...........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ah, you mean kept in stupid me I thought you said out, well the lagerphone then...........


Please don't misquote me. The posts are kept deliberately pithy to avoid mis-understandings.


----------



## hpowders

So how many Wagner books does it take to read before I achieve enough facility to post on the Wagner threads so I don't get shot down and humiliated? Do Classic Comics count?


----------



## hpowders

TC Geographical location section:

Which is geographically closer to the earth's molten core, Niebelheim or the Wagner sub-forums?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hey, maybe you could use it as a baton too! You could get up on stage and do some conducting.


I'll practice it at home to see if I can handle it.


----------



## hpowders

Does one need a special magic marker to draw the line in the sub-forums, given the higher temperature and pressure down there?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I tried it! I rushed home to read the reviews and they were unanimous-the performance by this novice conductor seemed "rather stiff". I can't understand it. I thought I had a pretty good rapport with the musicians.


Many of the reviews were very positive - everyone praised you for bringing the music to a powerful climax.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Many of the reviews were very positive - everyone praised you for bringing the music to a powerful climax.


Hard to believe. The best performance of 4'33" the reviewer ever heard! She said she would like to hear me conduct the transition from the modulation toward the end of the third movement into the release of tension at the beginning of the fourth movement of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony!


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!

I went to visit the Period sub-forum and I seem to have taken a wrong turn. I'm lost. Please hurry! I'm getting dizzy from the lack of air and the heat down here is oppressive.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Please don't misquote me. The posts are kept deliberately pithy to avoid mis-understandings.


Apologies the Beer is on me, literally


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Please don't misquote me. The posts are kept deliberately *pithy* to avoid mis-understandings.


That'th ok.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*View Poll Results: What do you think about the so-called Zozart Effect?*

Voters *4*. You have already voted on this poll


I listen to Zozart's music so this is good news for me.

88818.18%
I hate Zozart so this is unfair. I want to make it immoral and fattening for anybody to listen to Zozart.

6920.45%
I am not a sock. I don't care about this.

111943.18%
_I am one of the test socks. I like Zozart's music._

10101027.27%

Multiple Choice Poll.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Proposal: let's separate the music from the classical music forum which will stop most of the debates and Arguments about Music


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> That'th ok.


I could have been more emphatic, but I didn't wish to offend any potentially _squeamith_ readers.


----------



## hpowders

Which is a leak you can live with?

1. Susan Rice's

2. Your roof's

3. faulty clarinet embouchure

4. hot toxic sulfur gases coming out of a small hole in the ceiling of the Period Subforum.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Is Pugg Fleming A Great Opera Singer?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Is Pugg Fleming A Great Opera Singer?


The short answer is *NO!*

The long answer is* NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Is Beethoven A Famous Composer?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Proposal: let's separate the music from the classical music forum which will stop most of the debates and Arguments about Music


Yeah. Most folks seem happy with either hanging out on the Community Forum or on Area 51 anyway.

GET RID OF THE DAMN MUSIC!!!

Let's have peace again!!


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Do these photos represent:

1. A typical breakup where the man got hurt and the woman is exhibiting smug satisfaction?

2. Two unrelated, innocent CD purchases.


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Poll: Is Beethoven A Famous Composer?


Not as famous as he should be! Actually, he's quite underrated. To do justice to Beethoven's great music, every city should have a statue in his honor.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> I could have been more emphatic, but I didn't wish to offend any potentially _squeamith_ readers.


And we wouldn't want to try and thqueethe too much out of thith. Tho to thpeak.


----------



## hpowders

Consumer information section:

I accidentally clicked $1306 for a wax cylinder of inaudible Brahms playing inaudible Brahms piano music, ironically, introduced quite audibly, by one of Brahms' friends.

I was cheerfully told by the site manager that although my purchase price was non-refundable, I was eligible for free-delivery because I paid $100 for a "Prime" membership.

So that's good, right?


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> And we wouldn't want to try and thqueethe too much out of thith. Tho to thpeak.


I didn't want to seem insensitive, because there might be some TC posters who attend thpeech clathes to improve their embouthures so they can potht better.


----------



## hpowders

The TC Incredibly Depressing Department

What can one say when the King of Jordan is more fluent in English than the President of the United States?


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> The TC Incredibly Depressing Department
> 
> What can one say when the King of Jordan is more fluent in English than the President of the United States?


Ugh .... that really is too depressing to be funny ....


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> Ugh .... that really is too depressing to be funny ....


Watch a tape of their joint press conference from earlier today. You would think Trump is the foreigner!!


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> I didn't want to seem insensitive, because there might be some TC posters who attend thpeech clathes to improve their embouthures so they can potht better.


You're milking it now.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> You're milking it now.


And yet....I haven't seen YOU banishing my STI posts from your "Important, Must-Read, Vital Posts of the Day".


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> You're milking it now.


Look, you have a choice:

1. My free entertainment that I really should be charging for on pay-per view

2. Lumbering Bruckner scherzos.

The choice is yours.


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite composers with uneven temperament.


----------



## hpowders

Discuss: Would Wagner approve of Cage's 4'33" because it was written by a non-Jew or would he condemn it because it is typical Modern trash?


----------



## hpowders

Would changing TC to a bunch of satellite sub-forums be considered an example of New Complexity?


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> And we wouldn't want to try and thqueethe too much out of thith. Tho to thpeak.


Speaking of milking.....


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Not as famous as he should be! Actually, he's quite underrated. To do justice to Beethoven's great music, every city should have a statue in his honor.


I'm sure the seagulls would love that, if not most of the people.


----------



## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> Speaking of milking.....


We've squeezed this one dry now. Which is a relief.


----------



## Bettina

Dr Johnson said:


> We've squeezed this one dry now. Which is a relief.


Hang on - I'm not finished thqueething yet!


----------



## SiegendesLicht

laurie said:


> Ugh .... that really is too depressing to be funny ....


From the other side of the ocean it is pretty darn funny. Getting funnier every day.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

SiegendesLicht said:


> From the other side of the ocean it is pretty darn funny. Getting funnier every day.


But you gotta understand English is a second langage for an Umericaaaan like Trump


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Dr Johnson said:


> We've squeezed this one dry now. Which is a relief.


Not anudder one...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hang on - I'm not finished thqueething yet!


Which reminds me of the beautiful oranges I cannot seem to be able to buy in any Florida supermarket.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> But you gotta understand English is a second langage for an Umericaaaan like Trump


He speaks fluent moolah-ese.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Should we have a sub-forum for each movement of Haydn's symphonies? I love the 1st movement of the Surprise symphony but don't want to associate with anyone who wants to discuss the 2nd movement!


----------



## Jacred

^We need to subdivide movements into themes too. Or maybe structural parts. I'm all for the coda, by the way, so I can't associate with anyone who likes the exposition.


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> ^We need to subdivide movements into themes too. Or maybe structural parts. I'm all for the coda, by the way, so I can't associate with anyone who likes the exposition.


I can't associate with anyone who likes recapitulations. They're so boring! Deja vu all over again.


----------



## hpowders

If you have an uneven temperament, can that directly affect what one wears at a concert?


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Should we have a sub-forum for each movement of Haydn's symphonies? I love the 1st movement of the Surprise symphony but don't want to associate with anyone who wants to discuss the 2nd movement!


As long as the sub-forums are temperature controlled. I recently read a plea for help from some poster trapped within a subforum with limited air and oppressive heat.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie misanthrope here:

Has any poster put all the other posters on "ignore"? PM me.....whoops, I forgot....you will probably be blocked from doing so.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Pat Fairlea said:


> Not anudder one...


It's a never-ending stream...


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Dr Johnson said:


> It's a never-ending stream...


For your personal de-lactation?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Is Witch music important to you?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> ^We need to subdivide movements into themes too. Or maybe structural parts. I'm all for the coda, by the way, so I can't associate with anyone who likes the exposition.


I think sub atomic division of music is the way forward or at least to each individual vibration


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why didn't Mozart write any HipHop arias ?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: How Do You Like Your Mashed Potatoes
I like mine like this............


----------



## Dr Johnson

Pat Fairlea said:


> For your personal de-lactation?


Time we both got our coats, I think.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Why didn't Mozart write any HipHop arias ?


Because there were no hip-hop "articulators" to write for at the time in the Vienna of the 1780's?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: How Do You Like Your Mashed Potatoes
> I like mine like this............


Billy was a helluva Kid.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Billy was a helluva Kid.


Yep he was and lived it full and hard- Legend.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Composer with the most facial hair.

Composer with the most body hair.

Composers who liked fishing.

The most bumbling and most handy composers.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Composer with the most facial hair.
> 
> Composer with the most body hair.
> 
> Composers who liked fishing.
> 
> The most bumbling and most handy composers.


Eds got the hair bit covered at least


----------



## hpowders

Because it is often hard to identify male and female posters from their writings, should men and women be required to post in subforums by birth gender?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Eds got the hair bit covered at least


Larry from the Three Stooges was the first!!!


----------



## hpowders

TC Frustration Department

I recently wrote my best post. It, along with other posts were removed in a purge. How can I get it back? I want to show it to my grandchildren.


----------



## hpowders

Identify the ten best piano concertos written by boys.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Identify the ten best piano concertos written by boys.


Probably Mozart's piano concertos 1-10.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Probably Mozart's piano concertos 1-10.


Thinking outside the box!


----------



## Art Rock

The most humble composer fans and the most arrogant composer fans.


----------



## hpowders

TC Latest Movie Section

Purge III

It's July 15th, the dreaded day when TC mods go crazy, purging over 90% of the posts, leaving their sensitivity and diplomacy at the cyber-door. A horrible 10 hour period in effect from 9PM to 7 AM, TCST.

Pray for the posters. Pray for the survivors.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC Latest Movie Section
> 
> Purge III
> 
> It's July 15th, the dreaded day when TC mods go crazy, purging over 90% of the posts, leaving their sensitivity and diplomacy at the cyber-door. A horrible 10 hour period in effect from 9PM to 7 AM, TCST.
> 
> Pray for the posters. Pray for the survivors.


I wanna see the prequels, is there any advanced screenings available?


----------



## Dim7

Can't change underwear


----------



## hpowders

Which part of a musical composition is the most important to you?

Post no. 1: For me, the final 3-4 notes of a Bruckner Symphony, so I can finally get up and use the gender specific lavatory.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I wanna see the prequels, is there any advanced screenings available?


Only for heart disease.....sorry.


----------



## hpowders

Is it possible that there was a youth symphony and all the players were so loyal and had nowhere else to go that after twenty years, they simply re-named it the Berlin Philharmonic?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is the sound part of music more important to you?


----------



## millionrainbows

I think all posters should submit to a troll test, and their internet activity thoroughly researched. If they've ever been banned or have been trollish, they should be required to register with the ITR (Internet Trolling Registry). They shouldn't be allowed to vote, either. And don't hire them, or rent houses to them. And don't let them participate in "jam sessions" or join any civic organizations.


----------



## Jacred

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is the sound part of music more important to you?


Nah, it's obviously the silence between the notes.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> Nah, it's obviously the silence between the notes.


Ah, the indispersed 4'33'' sneeking into every performance................. that clever Cage he could have claimed copyright for everything!


----------



## millionrainbows

*How can I convert my MP3 files to vinyl?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> *How can I convert my MP3 files to vinyl?*


Buy your own vinyl lathe machine setup


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Buy your own vinyl lathe machine setup


Cool! Is the lamp included?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> Cool! Is the lamp included?


For you small investment I'm sure they will throw in a lamp...............


----------



## hpowders

Where should we draw the line between Liszt and Rachmaninov? What should we do about them?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is the sound part of music more important to you?


No. The CD cover photos are. They really know how to sock it to me.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Where should we draw the line between Liszt and Rachmaninov? What should we do about them?


Put them in a Cage fight


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> No. The CD cover photos are. They really know how to sock it to me.


So do you really put your cds in your socks


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> So do you really put your cds in your socks


No. "Other".


----------



## hpowders

Question I asked at Walmart: "Any good Mozart Symphonies?"

I left the store with six tangelos.


----------



## hpowders

The happiest dead classical composers.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> The happiest dead classical composers.


or The happiest Zombie classical composers.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> or The happiest Zombie classical composers.


Dvorák looked like a zombie from his photos. Czech it out!

Probably puffing peyote.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Question I asked at Walmart: "Any good Mozart Symphonies?"
> 
> I left the store with six tangelos.


Update from customer service phone call: "I should have asked for a half a pound of Mozart Symphonies."

Next time.


----------



## hpowders

TC Disneyland section:

While visiting Disneyland recently I went over to a manager and emoted, "Nothing here seems real to me anymore."

He looked at me like I was nuts!


----------



## hpowders

Study Group Needed!

Newbie here wishing to post on the Wagner threads. I need help from experienced Wagner posters. Also which books and musical research papers should I read as prerequisite. I hope to be Wagner ready by mid-August if all goes well.


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> TC Disneyland section:
> 
> While visiting Disneyland recently I went over to a manager and emoted, "Nothing here seems real to me anymore."
> 
> He looked at me like I was nuts!


"Nothing here seems real to me anymore." So...drugs...?


----------



## hpowders

There was a World War Three thread this morning and, and, and, and, and!!! the thread was vaporized!!! The thread and posters, all gone!!! All blown to smithereens!! That was like a....World War Three simulator!!!

That's what could happen to the whole planet! I'm a'scared!!!


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> "Nothing here seems real to me anymore." So...drugs...?


No. The prices.


----------



## Jacred

^Keep in mind that Disney's slogan is, "The place where dreams come true." I'd say there's a deliberate blurring of illusion and reality here.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> ^Keep in mind that Disney's slogan is, "The place where dreams come true." I'd say there's a deliberate blurring of illusion and reality here.


I have an asignment for you. Look at the sub-forum title and then come back.

Hint: STI


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> The happiest dead classical composers.


The ones that were married.


----------



## hpowders

TC Incarceration Section:

Notice: Classical Orchestra Auditions being held Thursday for The Mis-spent Youth Orchestra


----------



## Dim7

Glenn Gould Boxers


----------



## Dr Johnson

Dim7 said:


> Glenn Gould Boxers


Not designed, one hopes, by the same company that did his upholstery.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pieces that have blown you up recently?


----------



## hpowders

Area 51: Poster Instructions:

If World War Three occurs (find out on Cable News), calmly proceed to your nearest sub-forum until the whistle blows to signify the war's end. You will be safe there.


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Should there be a separate Post Mortem forum?


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> Study Group Needed!
> 
> Newbie here wishing to post on the Wagner threads. I need help from experienced Wagner posters. Also which books and musical research papers should I read as prerequisite. I hope to be Wagner ready by mid-August if all goes well.


This one is not a stupid thread idea.


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> This one is not a stupid thread idea.


Every few hundred posts, I slip a serious one in to see if the rest of the posters here are awake.

Believe me, I am aware of the intense study that is required to be taken as a serious Wagner thread poster.

Notung impresses me more. I would even name my first fictional daughter, Studi, in honor/honour of the seriousness of the Wagner threads.


----------



## hpowders

Tampa Music Junior College for Super Seniors Who Can't Seem to Ever Graduate (MJCFSSWCSTEG, for short) (tee-shirts available).

Course Catalog:

Wagner Posting for Novices (4 credits) includes German language lab.

Pre-requisites: Sarcasm 103.7, Boasting 13.3, Male & Female Gender Differences 4 (taught by Mann-y Kein), Bloviating 1734.3, (staff), Anti-Semitism, Its Roots & Stems, German 11.

The course is intended to defend novice Wagner posters against intimidating but ridiculously unsubstantiated attacks on the fearsome TC Wagner threads and includes posting simulations involving put-downs, humiliations and valuable strategies, when employed, to prevent other posters from using the "Ignore" function against you.


----------



## Vaneyes

*Bikini, slingshot, one-piece, or au naturel.*


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> *Bikini, slingshot, one-piece, or au naturel.*


Caption: "I survived the Sing Sing Electric Chair."


----------



## Guest

Poll: Which part of a car is most important for getting from A to B?

The wheels?
The steering wheel?
The CD/MP3 player?
The gearbox?
The battery?


----------



## millionrainbows

If you play Mozart's early work backwards, it sounds better.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> If you play Mozart's early work backwards, it sounds better.


Just proves, not to compose between 2 AM and 8 AM.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Pieces that have blown you up recently?


Something in the Tchaikovsky _cannon_....the name will come to me....


----------



## Pat Fairlea

hpowders said:


> Where should we draw the line between Liszt and Rachmaninov? What should we do about them?


About 1880, just west of Minsk


----------



## millionrainbows

Rachmaninoff had HUGE hands, and you know what they say…

But it was too bad he looked like Lee Marvin.


----------



## hpowders

Pat Fairlea said:


> About 1880, just west of Minsk


A left at the *HALT!!! *sign?


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Rachmaninoff had HUGE hands, and you know what they say…
> 
> But it was too bad he looked like Lee Marvin.


His melancholy music reflects his plight. We can't all be John Wayne.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The best and most destructive trill ever?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Wagner & Stockhausen


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The best and most destructive trill ever?


Should be able to break apart a thick glass beer stein.


----------



## hpowders

Do you wear your TC Membership button to classical concerts? If so, where?


----------



## hpowders

Quartets, Sextets or Motets?


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that motets originated in Detroit with the Supremes?


----------



## hpowders

I'd like to join the Period-Sub-Forum, but because of the temperature and pressure difference down there, I'm afraid my bad HIP will start aching.


----------



## hpowders

Help me deliver a talk on Tchaikovsky!!

Simply research and write a 4 page paper on his life and music and deliver it at 4PM, Tuesday at the Curtis School, Doctoral Program Office, Room 202.


----------



## hpowders

Just finished Don Giovanni.

Do I get some kind of award? It wasn't easy.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Operatic Canon Jumping: Mozart vs. Evel Knievel


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Does it bother you when other people like the Easter Bunny *


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bach to front & Haydn in a Caged Harpsichord?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do you like Complexity in your Minimalistic music Vol IX


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Brandon & Berg Concertos


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mozart vs. Pan Galactic Beings


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Just Finished Fig jam


----------



## hpowders

hpowders Law: Posting length is positively correlated with love of certain composers.

Post no. 1: Folks who enjoy Wagner operas and Bruckner symphonies tend to write multi-paragraph posts.
Folks who like Bach, Haydn and Mozart write short concise posts.
Folks who like Beethoven and Brahms are somewhere in-between.

Debate. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

Wagner "My Life" or Smetana's "Ma Vlast". Your choice.


----------



## millionrainbows

Incidents which were suppressed:

Over-zealous female grabs Rachmaninoff by both ears and begins face-grinding him

Liszt's "prepared piano" concert: delicate, muffled sounds created by female undergarments resting on strings of grand piano

John Cage's unreleased composition, using moles and irregularities on Merce Cunningham's nude skin to determine note choices

Roger Session's secret life: When he took off the Clark Kent glasses, he became Superman, according to several female admirers


----------



## hpowders

Just finished lunch. Going to the bathroom. Then starting Cosí fan Tutte.


----------



## hpowders

New book: How to pick winning poll choices on TC.

$29.95 regular members. Fine Deal!

$7.33 premium members + free membership pin. Good deal!

$37.97 period sub-forum members + free GPS to find your way back to the main forum. Best deal!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Random Poll- How Random should Random Polls Be?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll:What personality should you change to today


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

One-handed musicians


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Final Poll ever in History


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Nothing Feels Me Anymore in Music


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do you Eat your music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *How do you Eat your music?*


Another topic for *HiFi section*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Another topic for *HiFi section*


No, *Music Theory section? :tiphat:*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> No, *Music Theory section? :tiphat:*


No, This topic should be in *Members' Area, if it warrants further discussion. :tiphat:*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> No, This topic should be in *Members' Area, if it warrants further discussion. :tiphat:*


No, this fequires the* Site Feedback on the thread, otherwise it will lead to Forum Content Confusion*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Lets get Hpowders back on STI thread


----------



## hpowders

Mozart vs. Everyone.

Come. Sit. Compose an opera on any topic and Mozart will beat you! He is here to take on all challengers.

In the rare instance you actually beat Mozart, you will win free access to any TC sub-forum for one year.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What Is Your Age Based On the Colour of Your hair


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Suggest ONE Million classical music CD's


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Winds that have blown you away recently?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Kanye West is the new Trump!*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kanye West Blew away the new Beethoven!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Trump is the new Beethoven!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kanye West is the new Stockhausen!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Current Listening to blown away music by the wind


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Seven Gates of Jerusalem by Kayne Trump


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Favorite Poll Symphony Poll Symphony phony


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Poll - how many completely randomly choosen operas do you own?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Poll - What is the oldest post that can be successfully revived?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

"Slightly polished" Recordings


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Does it matter what they look like a squashed saxophone?*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What Is Your Age Based On the Colour of Your hair


This is a rather gray area.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is Doomed Music Really Classical?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

My Merciless Thread Was Deleted


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> My Merciless Thread Was Deleted


Write a letter to the TC manager:

CC: Your attorney (barrister)

Your thread will be quickly re-discovered.


----------



## Vaneyes

*United, or any other airline.*

Related:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry..._58ee2887e4b0df7e2046f8bd?section=us_politics


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> *United, or any other airline.*
> 
> Related:
> 
> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry..._58ee2887e4b0df7e2046f8bd?section=us_politics


Didn't they serve enough whiskeys


----------



## Vaneyes

Jockey, Calvin Klein, Cling Wrap.


----------



## hpowders

Has violin vibrato added happiness to your marriage?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Has violin vibrato added happiness to your marriage?


Yes, but the cat is not happy anymore


----------



## Vaneyes

Trump University, Trump Shuttle, Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, Trump Steakhouse, Trump Magazine.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Trump University, Trump Shuttle, Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, Trump Steakhouse, Trump Magazine.


Trumptastic..............................


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Trump University, Trump Shuttle, Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, Trump Steakhouse, Trump Magazine.


I'm praying for a three no Trump world....but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.


----------



## hpowders

I enjoy my wife's violin vibrato idea but now I'm walking bow-legged.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Posting in TC on your phone


----------



## Dim7

LSD, heroin, crack, speed, cocaine and Stupid Thread Ideas


----------



## Dim7

Nothing Feels Surreal to Me Anymore in STI


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Posting in TC on your phone


As a cautious fellow, I only do this while driving or feeding Mondlicht, the Koala. We both love a good breakfast of Eucalyptus leaves and milk, by the way.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Nothing Feels Surreal to Me Anymore in STI


In adelaide finally nothings ever real here too



hpowders said:


> As a cautious fellow, I only do this while driving or feeding Mondlicht, the Koala. We both love a good breakfast of Eucalyptus leaves and milk, by the way.


----------



## hpowders

A Trump puzzlement:

Do I destroy Syria or Classical Music today? I better ask Melania.


----------



## hpowders

MY thread was dragged kicking and screaming off the period-subforum today.
Does anyone know the name of the attorney that United Airlines MD is using?


----------



## hpowders

If classical music is doomed, will the deeply dug sub-forums provide adequate protection from the Mother of All Bombs?


----------



## Vaneyes

Mbam, moab, moma.


----------



## Vaneyes

Broken nose, concussion, humiliation.


----------



## Vaneyes

Sapling, suckling, duckling.


----------



## Vaneyes

737, 747, 757, 767, 777.


----------



## Blancrocher

THE WHITE FONT THREAD

Hello Everyone,

Welcome to the white font thread! That's right!! Here you can post whatever you might have posted elsewhere--BUT IN WHITE FONT. You want to post about recent purchases? White font. Schubert? White font. Modernism? White font. Yes, if you want to post anything at all in a white font, this thread's for you. Enjoy!


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

Which is the best performance of the Sonata in D minor by Domenico Scarlatti?


----------



## Dim7

What terrible things could hypothetically happen to you (even if there's no particular reason to think they would) - Come in and panic!


----------



## Vaneyes

Draft, volunteer, dodge.


----------



## Vaneyes

Mar-a-lago, Trump National Florida, Trump International Florida, Trump National Virginia.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Blancrocher said:


> Hello Everyone,
> 
> Welcome to the white font thread! That's right!! Here you can post whatever you might have posted elsewhere--BUT IN WHITE FONT. You want to post about recent purchases? White font. Schubert? White font. Modernism? White font. Yes, if you want to post anything at all in a white font, this thread's for you. Enjoy!


Hey get out of my space WHITE FONT THREAD TM ( copyright white EddieTHE WHITE FONT THREAD)

................................................................


----------



## hpowders

Help me identify the music.

It's the Scarlatti Sonata with trills. Thanks for the help!


----------



## hpowders

Music seems so unreal to me lately.

Wait! There's a knock on the door. It's Schumann and Jack Nicholson. We shared a room together at college.


----------



## Vaneyes

Smoking, toking, vaping, chewing, snuffing.


----------



## hpowders

Integrated College Course Catalog:

Musical Biology:

Week One: Male & Female Instruments.

2 Credits plus Living Laboratory.


----------



## millionrainbows

"Okay, I'll come to bed after just one more selection: Morton Feldman's String Quartet No. 2, DVD version (over six hours)!"


----------



## quietfire

"TC members who hog the site and likes to post in every single thread so that their names appear everywhere"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^ Care to name names.................


----------



## hpowders

If you can choose just one, (and if slyly attempting to offer two, be shot by a North Korean firing squad), offer your favorite female sonata.


----------



## hpowders

Which pianist's latest CD would you most likely purchase?

Lang Lang's or Keyboard Kat's.

Okay! Okay! What if I offer a 75% reduction on the Lang Lang CD price?


----------



## hpowders

If Keyboard Kat decided to give up the piano and open a Jewish Deli, would he change his name to Keyboard Katz?


----------



## quietfire

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> ^ Care to name names.................


No :0.............................


----------



## hpowders

How come the application for membership in the Wagner subforum is asking which religion I practice, supplemented by a DNA sample from me and my parents?


----------



## hpowders

The classical music is doomed time frame poll. So how long will it take for CM to become obsolete?

1. Tonight.

2. Tomorrow after Easter services.

3. Tomorrow after the Passover Seder.

4. Immediately after hpowders visits a Baroque Church

5. Immediately after Bettina finally re-adjusts to PDT.

6. Immediately after EdVarese buys his first Bach CD.

7. Immediately after President Trump launches a MOAB on Iran who then retaliates with the Mother of All Nuclear Bombs.

8. Ten minutes after Nancy Pelosi claims, "We have to bomb Iran to find out what's in it."


----------



## Vaneyes

Things you regretted saying about classical music on TC.


----------



## hpowders

The Koran-ation of Kundry by Monteverdi-Kundry as a Muslim female?

Post no. 1: Shouldn't she get with the modern age and change her name to Kundri?


----------



## Vaneyes

Easter, sunny side up, scrambled, poached.


----------



## hpowders

TC Culinary Section:

Easter Sunday. Any pigs you know who would be Willing-ham?


----------



## hpowders

Is classical music really doomed when we consider the bassoon to be a symphony orchestra buffoon?


----------



## Jacred

Where would the Internet be without us?


----------



## hpowders

Which do you prefer: sea bass or double bass? Reasons? Projections? _Sauces_ and footnotes?


----------



## Vaneyes

Internet, Encyclopedia Brittanica.


----------



## Dim7

Horrific acts of absolute evil and depravity you plan to commit in the near future


----------



## Bettina

Dim7 said:


> Horrific acts of absolute evil and depravity you plan to commit in the near future


Forcing my piano students to practice Hanon exercises...:devil:


----------



## hpowders

National Baroque Day, April 23rd, 10 AM; TCDT.

Wear your National Outfits and play your country's unique Baroque musical sounds.

Tour the Baroque Synagogues; bagels and lox buffet included!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

quietfire said:


> No :0.............................


First Letter begins with arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, note- that could be a misleading clue........... or not even the persons name maybe just the start of their favourite singer or not!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> First Letter begins with arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, note- that could be a misleading clue........... or not even the persons name maybe just the start of their favourite singer or not!


Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrenee Fleming?


----------



## hpowders

Pet Obedience School for pets with raw musical talent.

I taught Keyboard Kat to ornament repeats in Bach Keyboard Partitas. See You Tube video. He can also double dot when fed mice.

Phone for rates.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrenee Fleming?


And the prize goes to hpowders, who being the winner entrant now gets to cut the ribbon on the new Modern Classical Sub Forum...................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> And the prize goes to hpowders, who being the winner entrant now gets to cut the ribbon on the new Modern Classical Sub Forum...................


Which has just opened using the new super secret clocking technology..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Underrepresentation of Transexual Aliens in Music


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Famous Rearrangements and Orchestrations of 4'33'' *


----------



## hpowders

You asked for it!!!

The 555 Scarlatti Sonatas one by one.

First the piano versions.....then harpsichord, then clavichord, then accordion.


----------



## hpowders

The Rhinemaidens were pretty.....

Post no. 1: Yes they were!!!!!!


----------



## hpowders

I just bought a white noise machine which prevents me from hearing my wife scolding me.

One of the setttings is "Water Flowing".

Does anybody know why they couldn't simply call that setting "Current Listening"?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I just bought a white noise machine which prevents me from hearing my wife scolding me.
> 
> One of the setttings is "Water Flowing".
> 
> Does anybody know why they couldn't simply call that setting "Current Listening"?


Do you rent it out at all............................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Is The Triangle An Underrated Instrument?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> Horrific acts of absolute evil and depravity you plan to commit in the near future


Watch TV tonight


----------



## Dim7

Is 4'33'' too intense for anyone else out there?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Is The Triangle An Underrated Instrument?


Bringing this one Bach?


----------



## hpowders

Richard Wagner wrote the libretti for his operas with his own hand.

Any other comparable_ feet,_ you are aware of in music?


----------



## hpowders

TC Employment Section

Looking for a Mod Job.
PM me.

hpowders the insubordinate


----------



## hpowders

How can you kill a thread that finally disappears, but always seems to come back in view?

I tried Raid bug spray, but all it did was make my computer screen smell.


----------



## hpowders

Which would you prefer? A piano teacher who:

1. Bloviates about politics for 70% of your lesson time while puffing on his pipe, using pipe tobacco that has minimal bite.

2. Bites you on the shoulder for starting a Bach trill on the lower note instead of on the upper note.

3. Humiliates you with biting sarcasm whenever you make a mistake.

Debate. Discuss. Thread time limit: until July 16th, 2027. No extensions!!!


----------



## Jacred

Librettists who set their own libretti.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC Employment Section
> 
> Looking for a Mod Job.
> PM me.
> 
> hpowders the insubordinate


you just need some discipline


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your Favourite Fake recordings!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Me performed by J.S. Bach then Performed by Me again


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Me performed by J.S. Bach then Performed by Me again


We've come full circle.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

If you could only have one LvB bi-cycle...


----------



## hpowders

Chefs who manufacture and cook their own libretti, al dente.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> We've come full circle.


Its called a ring cycle


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> If you could only have one LvB bi-cycle...


Wow! That would be one helluva Trek!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

SACD Hybrid Human Only Discussion


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Its called a ring cycle


As opposed to a spin cycle.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> As opposed to a spin cycle.


Or a rinse cycle


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Or a rinse cycle


Now why didnt Wagner think of that?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> SACD Hybrid Human Only Discussion


SACD Hybrid Human Campaign Rally:

Speakers Needed!! Bose preferred !!!!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Now why didnt Wagner think of that?


Yeah. He had plenty of dirty laundry.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Your Vote: Bozart vs. Meethoven


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Your Vote: Bozart vs. Meethoven


OHHHHH! I see what you did there!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Poll: Your Vote: Tozarm vs. Neethoveb*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Poll: How many Polls?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

A Recording of me playing the Bi-cycle Sonata


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is the music of Minimalist pointy sticks?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Classical Music Really Is Pointy?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Good pointy music for late evening


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favorite Pointy Composer after Mozart


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Wow that was pointy


----------



## laurie

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Wow that was pointy


Ok Eddie, I'll bite .....

_*Pointy*_??


----------



## hpowders

WoW:

I will start:

Sviatoslav Richter playing the three War Sonatas (WWII) of Prokofiev 6-8.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> WoW:
> 
> I will start:
> 
> Sviatoslav Richter playing the three War Sonatas (WWII) of Prokofiev 6-8.


Followed by a performance of Britten's World of Warcraft Requiem.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

laurie said:


> Ok Eddie, I'll bite .....
> 
> _*Pointy*_??


You have to view the whole Pointy series to get the full effect starting with What is the point of minimalist music in the main forum then followed by my STI pointy posts starting with
*What is the music of Minimalist pointy sticks?*


----------



## Jacred

What's the point of pointy music?

(Where the music is sharp. Duh.)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> What's the point of pointy music?
> 
> (Where the music is sharp. Duh.)


That wins a Pointy award............


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Followed by a performance of Britten's World of Warcraft Requiem.


I can't find it....even on AZ Prime.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Poll: Your Vote: Tozarm vs. Neethoveb*


Ohhh Wowww! I saw what you did there!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Now why didnt Wagner think of that?


He was too busy writing the libretto to Mein Kampf.


----------



## hpowders

Anybody familiar with Bach's Mass?

Was he like 135 kilos?


----------



## hpowders

Has Talk Classical become noticeably more pet friendly over the last several months?

HOWEVER!!!! Isn't it cruel to lock them all up deep down in the sulfurous, oppressively hot sub-forums until we go home for the day?


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> Anybody familiar with Bach's Mass?
> 
> Was he like 135 kilos?


Oh no, we must find out! Half of us think it's the pinnacle of Western music!


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

*Has the entirety of Talk Classical gone complete stark raving mad?*

Yes.

/thread


----------



## laurie

Jacred said:


> Oh no, we must find out! Half of us think it's the* pinnacle *of Western music!


Ohhh ..... _Pinnacle_! I read this as _pineapple_.....


----------



## laurie

" *Pineapples (& other fruits) of Western Music* "


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

laurie said:


> " *Pineapples (& other fruits) of Western Music* "


Banana's for me but they are a herb................ So how about* Herbs (and other organics) of western & Eastern music*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Should Contemporary Composers Compose Music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Poll: Should Contemporary Composers Compose Music?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How pointy is Atonal music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Pointiest dream ever?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Classical Music Really Is Pointy


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favorite Pointy music - this time only one!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

_The SIT down and play your Tuba Thread- TSDAPYT thread_


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Which Mozart Symphonies Are Actually Pointy?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Best Pointy Conductors


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

When you "KNOW" a Piece is Pointy.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Oh no, we must find out! Half of us think it's the pinnacle of Western music!


Bach's mass is much too weighty for the likes of me.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Bach's mass is much too weighty for the likes of me.


At least its not pointy


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> When you "KNOW" a Piece is Pointy.


Sew, what's your point? Just trying to needle me?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Sew, what's your point? Just trying to needle me?


No, just being pointless


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> No, just being pointless


Has everyone on Stupid Thread Ideas gone stark raving mad??


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> No, just being pointless


A sharp bob.


----------



## hpowders

TC Bookstore:

"When You Know a Piece"
by Donald Trump
"How I knew when it was comfortable to ask Melania to marry me."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> TC Bookstore:
> 
> "When You Know a Piece"
> by Donald Trump
> "How I knew when it was comfortable to ask Melania to marry me."


I wonder if he had to ask Putin for permission first..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

LSD, heroin, crack, speed, cocaine and pointy music


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Help I'm a newie, i'm looking for a romantic period composer that sounds like Black Sabbath............


----------



## millionrainbows

Operas Wagner might write if he were alive today:

"Das Gotterdammerung Immigrants"

"The Tortilla of the Wettbackerungs"

"The Meister-mariachis of Guadalajara"

"Tristan und Juanita"


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I wonder if he had to ask Putin for permission first..............


I'm sure he did. Trump wouldn't want to be Russian into another marriage without wise council.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Help I'm a newie, i'm looking for a romantic period composer that sounds like Black Sabbath............


I would say Chopin is the one you are looking for.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Operas Wagner might write if he were alive today:
> 
> Pieter Grimesohn.
> 
> Die Entführung aus Auschwitz.
> 
> Elizabeth Schwartzkopf, der Dummkopf, kein Meistersinger.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'm sure he did. Trump wouldn't want to be Russian into another marriage without wise council.


Yeah, putin on the Ritz for an expensive wedding without checking would never do


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I would say Chopin is the one you are looking for.


Ah thought so, was Chopin paranoid by any chance


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ah thought so, was Chopin paranoid by any chance


Only during nocturnal episodes of panic.

He also ate with chopsticks-found it easier to key in on his food that way.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Only during nocturnal episodes of panic.
> 
> He also ate with chopsticks-found it easier to key in on his food that way.


Guess he was good with firewood too


----------



## hpowders

Community Sensitivity Threads

Which are you most sensitive to:

1. Replacing a live wire after a thunderstorm

2. A three drug cocktail designed to induce death

3. Holding your right hand in boiling water for 13 seconds, next to the angry lobster

4. Listening to a Beethoven String Quartet

5. Being carressed by someone you are in tune with (pun intended)


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Community Sensitivity Threads
> 
> Which are you most sensitive to:
> 
> 1. Replacing a live wire after a thunderstorm
> 
> 2. A three drug cocktail designed to induce death
> 
> 3. Holding your right hand in boiling water for 13 seconds, next to the angry lobster
> 
> 4. Listening to a Beethoven String Quartet
> 
> 5. Being carressed by someone you are in tune with (pun intended)


Probably a tie between #4 and #5!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Probably a tie between #4 and #5!


This could even be used as an IQ test, with 1-3 being given 70 points per one and only choice and 4-5 being given 145 points per one and only choice.

I wonder-the % of TC posters who would choose 1, 2 or 3? Could be a macho thing.

#4 is pretty easy to fulfill, alas,#5 is not.


----------



## hpowders

Which TC posters have not been divinely inspired?


----------



## hpowders

Discuss: 

I attended a performance of Bach's B minor Mass recently and just before the performance the conductor turned around and addressed the audience with, "You know the Bach B minor Mass is not at the pinnacle of Western music; not even close!" Okay here goes!!"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Discuss:
> 
> I attended a performance of Bach's B minor mass recently and just before the performance the conductor turned around and addressed the audience with, "You know the Bach B minor Mass is not at the pinnacle of Western music; not even close!" Okay here goes!!"


But was he using a pointy baton, makes all the difference to a good performance


----------



## hpowders

TC Family Threads:

Which are your fondest minor relatives?


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> TC Family Threads:
> 
> Which are your fondest minor relatives?


Mine is Aunt Celeste.


----------



## hpowders

If cable TV was invented in 1760, would Mozart have written fewer piano concertos?


----------



## hpowders

If cable news was around during Beethoven's time, which station would he be glued to:

1.MSNBC while sipping café mit schlag

2. CNN while smoking peyote

3. Fox while knoshing lox


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here:

TC posters whom you consider to be sacred.

I only want to interact with the best.


----------



## hpowders

Greatest concert performance you may have attended:

1. Arm chair bully who didn't move his arms for 4 1/2 hours of a concert performance of Siegfried.

2. The guy who never stopped reading his program through the entire concert and then clapped loudly when it was over, as if he actually heard anything.

3. The guy who pretended to be sleeping, snoring loudly, so his wife would never, ever bring him again.

4. Chopin playing a glorious rendition of chopsticks, inspired by his lo mein lunch.

5. A guy who gave a lecture, passionately claiming Bartók's Concerto for Orchestra is 100 times finer than Bach's Brandenburg Concertos.


----------



## hpowders

Adam KNEW Eve. When have you actually KNOWN a piece of music?


----------



## hpowders

Help write my talk on modulation characteristics, from Mozart to Schubert.

PM me by Saturday, 6-10 pages, single-spaced with footnotes and scholarly references.

Needed for Doctoral dissertation.

Please be good!


----------



## hpowders

Have any of you seen the Verdi X-Rays?

Can they explain why he had the blues?


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: Best codec for 64k portable files to fit operas and symphonies on my 32mb player?

MP3
WMA
RA


----------



## Jacred

Is it okay for the musicians to move during concerts?


----------



## hpowders

TC Ballet fantasies:

I had a blind date with Prokofiev's Cinderella, but she never showed up. Her stepmother texted me that Cindi was not yet finished Scriabin the floors.


----------



## hpowders

Win a 20 day* concert trip to Sweden!

Simply identify the name of the chef making your omelets to order at the unidentified restaurant that includes your two breakfasts.

Kids, free! If no kids, we have urchin rentals at the airport kiosk.

*Evenings not included


----------



## hpowders

Why are the shoes I wear to concerts so narrow?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ah thought so, was Chopin paranoid by any chance


Sure. He didn't want anyone to steal his Chopsticks. They were all he had to play with on cold, lonely nocturne-al nights.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> Is it okay for the musicians to move during concerts?


Particularly if they get poked by a pointy Baton


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> _The SIT down and play your Tuba Thread- TSDAPYT thread_


Only if Renée Fleming is the Tuba Mirum Soprana Obbligata.


----------



## hpowders

I was married four times and I want to be able to say I learned to play four instruments.

So I'm finished, right?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


>


The TC Stockholders Meeting.


----------



## hpowders

There's this new member with 50 posts who keeps insulting other posters.

Shouldn't he be called a dis-member?


----------



## Jacred

Has any dead composer ever had a crush on you?


----------



## hpowders

TC complaint department:

I have an issue. Listening to Henze's The Raft of Medussa, it sounds more like a 2915 than a 2818 as ranked by the TC membership. Debate. Discuss and by all means FIX THIS GLARING INJUSTICE!!!


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven Autobiography Found in Florida Swamp!!!

"A Teardrop Named Elise"

First printing: 10,000 copies

$39.95. Make checks out to A House At Random Publishers. Ltd.

Absolutely no refunds, cheerfully refunded!!!!!


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite languages that use many more dissonants than consonants.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> TC complaint department:
> 
> I have an issue. Listening to Henze's The Raft of Medussa, it sounds more like a 2915 than a 2818 as ranked by the TC membership. Debate. Discuss and by all means FIX THIS GLARING INJUSTICE!!!


I don't care where Henze's Medussa is ranked, as long as Beethoven's complete works are in their rightful place at the top of the list!:lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I don't care where Henze's Medussa is ranked, as long as Beethoven's complete works are in their rightful place at the top of the list!:lol:


When Bach is absent due to illness, Beethoven will be called on as his per diem substitute at $17.39 per day. This is the best management can do, due to the latest cuts to The Arts and the fact that you are not a premium TC member.

Now, you will have to excuse us as we have a lot of other work to do, changing the Henze a few notches further down in popularity to its rightful place as voted on by the premium members.


----------



## hpowders

TC Complaint Department:

I went for an audition for first clarinet of a major US orchestra a few days ago, and behind the blind audition screen I mentioned that I had over 16,000 posts on Talk Classical. There was loud laughter coming from the other side of the audition screen.

My question: Is Talk Classical a serious music forum or isn't it???


----------



## hpowders

TC Warning Section:

Please watch your language!!! We have many posters here between the ages of 5-8. It's simply not nice!!!


----------



## hpowders

Best contemporary works written for tape recorder.


----------



## hpowders

The Piano Quintet cesspool.

List your hall of shame piano quintets.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> The Piano Quintet cesspool.
> 
> List your hall of shame piano quintets.


Dvorak's first piano quintet is pretty bad, which is weird considering that his second quintet is a masterpiece!! Here's a video of the first quintet - listen to it and marvel at its clunkiness:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Dvorak's first piano quintet is pretty bad, which is weird considering that his second quintet is a masterpiece!! Here's a video of the first quintet - listen to it and marvel at its clunkiness:


Yes, that's a goodconfused one.

Perhaps Brahms burned one in the cesspool category.


----------



## Meyerbeer Smith

Your favorite piece of music that you haven't heard.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

SimonTemplar said:


> Your favorite piece of music that you haven't heard.


The Rhapsody for Viola and Cor Anglais that I have yet to write.


----------



## Jacred

Bach, Mozart or Beethoven: pick four


----------



## Bettina

Evidence that I've been spending too much time on TC: when listening to my favorite pieces of music, I sometimes find myself peering at the CD player searching for a "like" button!:lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

SimonTemplar said:


> Your favorite piece of music that you haven't heard.


Simple 4'33'', now ask a hard one...............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Evidence that I've been spending too much time on TC: when listening to my favorite pieces of music, I sometimes find myself peering at the CD player searching for a "like" button!:lol:


I renamed my mute button the 4'33'' button


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Evidence that I've been spending too much time on TC: when listening to my favorite pieces of music, I sometimes find myself peering at the CD player searching for a "like" button!:lol:


It's directly under the "memory/set".


----------



## Bettina

We should always remember to make a distinction between "favorite works" and "great works." In that spirit, I propose that TC should have two different buttons for indicating approval of a post: a "like" button and a "great" button.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> It's directly under the "memory/set".


I'm just waiting for someone to say the random/ intro button is the modern classical music button...........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Favorite Strauss Tone Arm


----------



## hpowders

Are Grieg's melodies insubordinate to their folk song derivations?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Favorite Strauss Tone Arm


 5 kilo dumbells, ten reps, alternating arms, Emperor Waltz. Repeat thrice, every other day.

Guaranteed to tone arms in 90 days, or your money Bach.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> 5 kilo dumbells, ten reps, alternating arms, Emperor Waltz. Repeat thrice, every other day.
> 
> Guaranteed to tone arms in 90 days, or your money Bach.


Does that guarentee come from Andre Rieu


----------



## hpowders

I don't want to say this dude is boring but:

Lully-Bye!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Things you regretted saying about Polka music


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Things you regretted saying about Polka music


I lost a major fourth of my money playing Polka.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I lost a major fourth of my money playing Polka.


You too nowthere is a surprise- those damn Polka musos


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite 1890's bands


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Favourite 1890's bands


The Unicycles...pretty damn good!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> The Unicycles...pretty damn good!


I throught the candle powered beatles were pretty good too


----------



## hpowders

Interview test for TC mod position:

1. Violin or cello?

2. Greatest or finest?

3. Brahms or Schubert?

4. Wagner or Verdi?

5. Talk Classical forum or BMW forum?

Tallied by computer. Final results soon. Check your inbox.


----------



## hpowders

By over-whelming petition by the search committee, we must add:

6. Perfect fourth or minor sixth?


----------



## jegreenwood

"Can we create a thread that runs more than 1000 pages?"


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

hpowders said:


> Has everyone on Stupid Thread Ideas gone stark raving mad??


Tell me about it. :lol:


----------



## Bettina

jegreenwood said:


> "Can we create a thread that runs more than 1000 pages?"


The sky's the limit! After all, Wagner created a cycle that runs more than 1000 minutes...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> The sky's the limit! After all, Wagner created a cycle that runs more than 1000 minutes...


Yeah, we can bring down the net with STI overload


----------



## Pat Fairlea

hpowders said:


> Are Grieg's melodies insubordinate to their folk song derivations?


But...but.... that's a really interesting question? What's going on with this thread?


----------



## Bettina

Pat Fairlea said:


> But...but.... that's a really interesting question? What's going on with this thread?


That's the amazing thing about classical music...it makes us smart even when we _try _to be stupid!


----------



## hpowders

Pat Fairlea said:


> But...but.... that's a really interesting question? What's going on with this thread?


Every once in a while, one does slip through. I will try not to let it happen again.


----------



## hpowders

Your 15 favorite intervals; 16 for a leap year.


----------



## hpowders

The greatest Methodist Melodists.


----------



## hpowders

What makes a great composer a fine one?


----------



## hpowders

TC Dating Advice Department

I am a male TC poster. Would you go out on a second date with a female bass who sang Ol' Man River to you on the first date? She sounded just like Paul Robeson.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'm assuming your IQ is in the 140-180 range, otherwise you wouldn't have access to this thread?
> 
> Yes. I ask interesting questions. Expect no less.


I have access to this thread, but I'm quite certain my IQ is nowhere _near _that range. And I'm quite glad of it too. I love the works created by geniuses, but I certainly wouldn't want to *be *one myself!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I have access to this thread, but I'm quite certain my IQ is nowhere _near _that range. And I'm quite glad of it too. I love the works created by geniuses, but I certainly wouldn't want to *be *one myself!


I seem to be giving out this advice a lot lately:

Read more physics novels. Eat Einstein bagels. Come Bach. Get re-tested.


----------



## hpowders

Are there like ushers at classical concerts watching for any movement in the seats or is sitting stiffly simply the honor system?


----------



## Scopitone

I've tried to like Bach, but the music's just too crappy. Please try to convince me to like him, so that I can reject every point you make.


----------



## Scopitone

My IQ is 140.0000000000000000000000001 - can I participate in this thread?


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> My IQ is 140.0000000000000000000000001 - can I participate in this thread?


Start reading more physics novels. Eat Einstein Bagels. Get it up by 40 points.

Everyone loves a nice come-Bach. So much nicer than a fall from grace.

Shouldn't be too tough. You seem to be veri-smo-rt.


----------



## hpowders

TC most reliable fake news department:

President Trump to ban the most noble of the orchestral instruments, the English horn!!!

When asked why, he replied, "Because I can!!!" "Also, I hold many stocks and the English Horn is not a "cor" holding."


----------



## hpowders

TC Real Estate Sales Department:

Announcing:

The Egmont Condos, a luxury, Beethoven friendly community, located in a glacial area of the Canadian Rockies, where your own private-robo-butler, Waldstein, is always ready to serve.

Join us for a free dinner and extremely hard sell!!!

Main course: Beef Wellington followed by Countess Guicciardi cupcakes.


----------



## millionrainbows

How Mozart's Music is a Reflection of Bourgoise Values, and is Used to Undermine the Middle Class Workers

Brahms and Marx: They Look Very Similar, but Does It End There?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I seem to be giving out this advice a lot lately:
> 
> Read more physics novels. Eat Einstein bagels. Come Bach. Get re-tested.


Thanks, but I'm happy with my IQ the way it is: smarter than average (at least I hope so!) but dumber than a genius. The perfect middle ground. I love the feeling of being blown away by those who are smarter than I am, and I wouldn't want to give that up.


----------



## Bettina

Help me get *out *of Beethoven! I love his music too much and I can't stop listening. Please point out all his flaws so that I can get over my obsession.


----------



## Dim7

The most feminine basso profundo voices


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> TC Real Estate Sales Department:
> 
> Announcing:
> 
> The Egmont Condos, a luxury, Beethoven friendly community, located in a glacial area of the Canadian Rockies, where your own private-robo-butler, Waldstein, is always ready to serve.
> 
> Join us for a free dinner and extremely hard sell!!!
> 
> Main course: Beef Wellington followed by Countess Guicciardi cupcakes.


The address is No. 32 on Sonata Street.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thanks, but I'm happy with my IQ the way it is: smarter than average (at least I hope so!) but dumber than a genius. The perfect middle ground. I love the feeling of being blown away by those who are smarter than I am, and I wouldn't want to give that up.


I don't know about "middle ground". Skews much more toward the "high end".

Soooooo modest!!!!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The address is No. 32 on Sonata Street.


That would be one of our more ethereal locations.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Help me get *out *of Beethoven! I love his music too much and I can't stop listening. Please point out all his flaws so that I can get over my obsession.


Flaws? How much time ya got?


----------



## hpowders

TC Riddle Department:

Where did Trump go to find his many wives?

Answer: A Beauty Farm.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Bettina said:


> The address is No. 32 on Sonata Street.


Dial 111 and ask for Ludwig?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Has TC been bad for your mallet?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Has TC been bad for your mallet?


You can try to hammer this home, but nobody's listening.


----------



## hpowders

It's time for TC's popular "Guess the Thread"!!!

Post from the thread: "Yes!! Lully!! Yes!! Rameau!!" 

Wrong: It's Beethoven!!!! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> You can try to hammer this home, but nobody's listening.


Percussion is very persuasive thou


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Percussion is very persuasive thou


Yes. It's a dramatic way to snare their collective attention.


----------



## hpowders

Meet me at Mercadante's for some baked clams and a flute of wine after an energetic day, posting?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Yes. It's a dramatic way to snare their collective attention.


Just a bit of Ionisation should do the trick...............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just a bit of Ionisation should do the trick...............


No dice. They already modulated to lethal injection.


----------



## hpowders

Do any of the variations in Elgar's Enigma Variations describe a TC poster who has mixed feelings about posting for the final time?


----------



## hpowders

Was Frank German?

The reason I ask is during WWII film reels, I saw a lot of Nazi Zappa-lins.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

You could be right


----------



## millionrainbows

I see Beethoven as the first truly great "gluten-free" composer.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> I see Beethoven as the first truly great "gluten-free" composer.


I would suggest then that George Crumb is the Gluten composer


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: If I go deaf young, should I stop at 9 symphonies or keep composing?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> Poll: If I go deaf young, should I stop at 9 symphonies or keep composing?


Just skip number 10


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Poll: If I go deaf young, should I stop at 9 symphonies or keep composing?


Write a symphony with voices and tell everyone it's simply a song cycle.


----------



## Scopitone

How come Hilary Hahn still won't marry me, and other TC Conundra.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> How come Hilary Hahn still won't marry me, and other TC Conundra.


Get her a Guarneri Violin, ring the bell, wait for her to look through the creep-hole....I mean, peephole, and you just may be permitted into the ante-room. Her man-servant/Dad, Waldstein, will show you the way.


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven & Brahms:

Godz or Godzillas?


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Get her a Guarneri Violin


Sweet! I bought a whole case of those off a seller on iOffer.

They had a certificate of authenticity, and everything.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Sweet! I bought a whole case of those off a seller on iOffer.
> 
> They had a certificate of authenticity, and everything.


My President, Donald Trump came with a certificate of authenticity. Shows you how much that's worth!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What makes a "really bad" composer?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What makes a "really bad" composer?


One should have really good hearing, take baths regularly, always be polite, never bite anyone's shoulders, and compose in an atonal manner. Then just simply wait to see who shows up to fill Carnegie Hall.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> One should have really good hearing, take baths regularly, always be polite, never bite anyone's shoulders, and compose in an atonal manner. Then just simply wait to see who shows up to fill Carnegie Hall.


Anyone we know??


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Strange Magic of: Magic Mushrooms


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is the most heartbreaking Martian opera?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Zozartakovich's symphonies - never controversial


----------



## Scopitone

The Strange Magic of: One Direction


----------



## Pugg

Scopitone said:


> The Strange Magic of: One Direction


Left or right?.....................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Strange Magic of: Jefferson StarTrump


----------



## Scopitone

The Strange Magic of: Yer Mom


----------



## Scopitone

Has Your Wallet Been Bad for TC?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Classical Music Really Is Loud


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pieces that have blown you away last year?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What makes a heartwarming heartbreaking Italian opera?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Classical Music Project, 10^2701 and Onward


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mozart's Broken String Quartets


----------



## Scopitone

PornHub Search Bar Problems


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Why does music in E-flat minor give me toothache?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What makes a heartwarming heartbreaking Italian opera?


I have no idea. Please pasta salt, thanks.


----------



## millionrainbows

Music That You Don't Understand, But Hate Anyway

Arthur Fiedler and The Boston Pops Play Ligeti

Theme in Schoenberg Discovered: P-H-H-T

Newly Discovered Well-Tempered Bach Tuning: Close Enough for Rock and Roll

New John Adams: A Long Ride in a '61 Ford with Transmission Problems

After Success of "The Great Gatsby," New John Corigliano Opera Planned: The Kardashians

Newly Discovered Unpublished Copland Score: Brokeback Mountain Suite

Donald Trump's Ninth Symphony: All Men Are NOT One

Philip Glass' Longest Work: The Filibuster Suite

Terry Riley: The Condescending Malt Liquor Tangos

One Million Variations on a Theme from 4'33"


----------



## millionrainbows

Frank Zappa: WAY Too Many Notes


----------



## Jacred

Should symphonies be approached?

(I don't know, man. This new boxset looks pretty angry...)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do I Acquire an epic score under false pretense?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Post for Area 51Can't change my musical taste


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> TC Disneyland section:
> 
> While visiting Disneyland recently I went over to a manager and emoted, "Nothing here seems real to me anymore."
> 
> He looked at me like I was nuts!


Next time come visit the real thing instead.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Tell us your woodpolish & brasso story.


----------



## Jacred

New to the World of Classical: I Seek Your Guidance

Guidance? Quick, someone buy a new air conditioner for the sub-forums! And hire a professional to patch up the sulphurous leaks while you're at it!

...Yes, you heard me, a professional! I don't want the walls covered in Brilliant White Gloss this time.


----------



## millionrainbows

Why Does Mozart's Music Suck?

Mahler for Those Who Don't Have Time: Mahler's EZ Symphony set: The Edited Versions. All extraneous and non-essential material has been removed, no filler. Each symphony is guaranteed to be under 60 minutes, most are far less, with no movement exceeding 10 minutes. Great sounding, less filling.

Mozart for Men: Brusquer, louder, less delicate, more sloppy and direct than the normal versions. All gay-sounding elements have been 'butched-up.' Pleasant pine-scented aroma. You'll love it when these manly symphonies come crashing through your listening room.

Bruckner's Ninth: The Cliff Notes revision


----------



## millionrainbows

*•Iridescence in Wagner's Music

•Harmonic Ambiguity In The Paintings of Mark Rothko

*


----------



## Dim7

Poll: Opera: Mozart vs. No-one


----------



## Dim7

How do I delete accounts of others?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> How do I delete accounts of others?


Take down the internet


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do you recognize a good metal conductor?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

what is Alien answer to bands like awake, moon, mile high & floc bands?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do I orchestrate epic fails?


----------



## millionrainbows

My Grandmother does not like John Cage! What can I do??


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> My Grandmother does not like John Cage! What can I do??


Phone a friend........................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How do you recognize a good metal conductor?


His performances never seem to get rusty doing the basic repertoire?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Post for Area 51Can't change my musical taste


There is a sub-forum for that. Check the ToS.


----------



## Scopitone

On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being great and 10 being superfrakkingamazing, how much more successful would #FyreFestival have been if they'd put on a Ring Cycle instead of booking Blink 182?


----------



## laurie

*Your Most Moving Moments in the Opera Restroom?*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Companion Composers or the Non-Human Composers


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> *Your Most Moving Moments in the Opera Restroom?*


You don't need an opera restroom. Simply take the elevator deep down to the bowels of the subforum network.

One can do anything down there.


----------



## hpowders

Was Godzilla the first of the great composing Godz?


----------



## Scopitone

What's Lester Bangs's Opinion on each of Shostakovich's Symphonies?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> What's Lester Bangs's Opinion on each of Shostakovich's Symphonies?


John Peel was a big fan..........................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> John Peel was a big fan..........................


So was William of Orange.


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> So was William of Orange.


....... Orange Peel?


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> ....... orange peel?


William of Orange was my half-sister, Tangerine's second cousin.


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> William of Orange was my half-sister, Tangerine's second cousin.


...... and don't forget _her_ little sister, Darlin' Clementine.


----------



## hpowders

The Reger Initiative Research Project.

Click on which tend to be your favorite movements: Fast, moderate or slow?

Results at the end of the month.


----------



## hpowders

Ear Training Frustrations

I'm having trouble with 2 pounds each ear. My ear lobes hurt!


----------



## laurie

laurie said:


> ...... and don't forget _her_ little sister, Darlin' Clementine.


That Clementine was such a Cutie!


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> That Clementine was such a Cutie!


Well, I don't wish to besmirch her, but she was bi-citrus: both sweet orange and mandarin orange.

Not that it's any big deal to me. Some of my best friends....


----------



## Pugg

The biggest mistake from the first 100 days .


----------



## Bettina

Pugg said:


> The biggest mistake from the first 100 days .


That's like trying to choose the greatest classical piece: too many options to choose from! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Expressions that you have never heard


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do I duplicate my account?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is the point of Bach, Beethoven and Mozart?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What do you think about Abbott & Costello?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Have you ever bought a classical music cd recording?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Have you ever paid a lot of money for an expensive item


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Magic of Fairport Starship


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do you like Classical era music performed on Elephants


----------



## hpowders

Classical music at the urinal.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Do you like Classical era music performed on Elephants


I have a full trunk up in the attic of that junk.


----------



## hpowders

Buying my CDs on U Tube seems 2 B the cheapest. What say U?


----------



## hpowders

In removing someone from my "ignore" list, I got the heads up "You will now be returned to where you were".

Post no. 1: This is really weird. I was back living at home with my parents in Happy Days time smoking peyote again. Far out, man!!!


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Beethoven called his trio, the "Archduke", because the regular Duke rejected it?


----------



## hpowders

TC Travel Advice Section:

Going to hear some concerts.

Is it as warm in Vienna as it is in the summer?


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> Is it true that Beethoven called his trio, the "Archduke", because the regular Duke rejected it?


He named it the "Archduke" after an Archduke who refused to be called a regular Duke.


----------



## Jacred

How much do critics believe you?


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> He named it the "Archduke" after an Archduke who refused to be called a regular Duke.


I heard it was because the Duke was having trouble wearing his good-looking but painful, gold buckled, Italian leather designer shoes. He complained so much, they gave him the unflattering nickname, Archduke.

I guess Beethoven pitied him and hoped his trio would cheer him up a bit.

Unfortunately, he wrote a letter (Fed Ex delivered) to Beethoven indicating he actually preferred the Mendelssohn and Brahms trios.

I cannot print Beethoven's response, except an excerpt, "F***en arches!!" to give you some idea.

Disclaimer: There are certain liberties taken regarding historical improbabilities, to protect the innocent.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Toscanini physically threw a piano out of rehearsal because it wasn't prepared?


----------



## millionrainbows

So Beethoven wrote the "Archduke" Trio for a duke who played the cello? No wonder it sounds so simplistic!


----------



## millionrainbows

Duke, duke, duke, duke of arch, arch, arch...


----------



## hpowders

TC computer problems:

I have a girl scout cookie named Heather who will come over to clear my cache.

I'll let you know how it goes.


----------



## hpowders

Can you imagine if I went into a typical Tampa bar one Saturday night around 11 PM and exclaimed,

"LET'S TALK LOHENGRIN!!!"

What are the chances those would be the last words I would ever utter before a bottle finds its way over my head?


----------



## hpowders

TC Movie Query Department:

Curious. Did director Alfred Hitchcock give Anthony Perkins any Leigh-way in his role of Norman Bates in Psycho?


----------



## Bettina

TC translation dictionary

Greatest works of all time = greatest works written between 1725 and 1950


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> Duke, duke, duke, duke of arch, arch, arch...


And you'll be my duchess, my duchess of prunes


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Doomed Music Really Is Classical


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> And you'll be my duchess, my duchess of prunes


At least there will be movement.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> TC translation dictionary
> 
> Greatest works of all time = greatest works written between 1725 and 1950


Well, Schuman's great 9th symphony was written in 1968; Mennin's great 7th symphony was written in 1963 and two great Shostakovich symphonies, No. 10 & No. 14 were written in 1953 and 1969 respectively.

Thus I would modify those inclusive dates if I may:

TC greatest works of all time: 1770-1826.


----------



## hpowders

Talk Classical Site Temporarily Closed Until We Can Figure Out What To Do With It.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Talk Classical Site Temporarily Closed Until We Can Figure Out What To Do With It.


Just convert it all of TC into STI


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just convert it all of TC into STI


I would be interested in buying the subforums as a separate package...if there aren't complex legalities at play.....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I would be interested in buying the subforums as a separate package...if there aren't complex legalities at play.....


I can let you have them at a price.............. will provide you my Nigerian bank account details if interested


----------



## Bettina

List the ten greatest bathrooms of all time.


----------



## Pugg

Bettina said:


> List the ten greatest bathrooms of all time.


As long they have all equipment in gold, if you get the point......


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> As long they have all equipment in gold, if you get the point......


Just like Donald T's John


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just like Donald T's John


You won a free weekend on Pennsylvania Avenue .


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Worst Tossa Ever


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

100 great warhorses - outside the Grand Ole Opry


----------



## hpowders

TC Alternative Religion Section.

Choose your favorite/favourite:

1. Buddhism

2. Shintoism

3. Isis-ism

4. Cat-o'chism

5. Baldism

6. Atheism

7. Sub-forumism


----------



## hpowders

Can musical choices as a kid cause baldness as an adult?


----------



## Bettina

Which composer is responsible for more closed threads: Wagner or Cage?


----------



## Dim7

Somewhat Electronic Music Influenced Non-Jazz Non-Classical Music Isn't Really Particularly Doomed


----------



## Jacred

Not gonna find anyone here, but... MUSICIANS UNITE!


----------



## Bettina

If we can have a list of friends on TC, why can't we have a list of enemies?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

How do I eat my account? I can't find the setting to eat my account and I am getting really hungry. Can a mod help?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> How do I eat my account? I can't find the setting to eat my account and I am getting really hungry. Can a mod help?


You gotta push the sauce button


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If we can have a list of friends on TC, why can't we have a list of enemies?


We do. It's called one's "Ignore List".


----------



## hpowders

Writing of which: Is there any more pathetic acts of self-hatred than:

1. placing oneself on one's own Ignore List

2. wishing to delete one's account, and realizing one can't, and out of frustration, attempts to eat the account away, in violation of the ToS agreement.

Debate. Discuss.

Sign me, 

Discuss-ted in Tampa.


----------



## hpowders

Today I wish to share with you the complete Götterdämmerung.

Note, once activated, it will play through your computer speakers without pause. There is no fail-safe mechanism.

Enjoy!!!

1y7U36T47Q


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Today I wish to share with you the complete Gotterdammerung.
> 
> Note, once activated, it will play through your computer speakers without pause. There is no fail-safe mechanism.
> 
> Enjoy!!!
> 
> 1y7U36T47Q


1y7U36T47Q - is that all your got ---- much too short to be serious!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 1y7U36T47Q - is that all your got ---- much too short to be serious!


That's the kinda code we use in the US.

Our electrical voltage is different too.

Fewer kangaroos, also.

Nasty creatures.


----------



## Scopitone

Brilliant Thread Ideas thread


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Brilliant Thread Ideas thread


We save those for Area 51.


----------



## hpowders

A plea: Posters, please don't use tag names that sound like food references.

One guy, I'm always thinking Marinara sauce on spaghetti.

Hopefully, no "rumcake" tag applicants soon.


----------



## hpowders

TC Classical Music Expert Button FAQ Section:

Okay. I got my button this morning. I put it on and now I'm in a Trump holding cell being deported to Mexico on Tuesday!

The button read "TC EXPORT" instead of "TC EXPERT!!! The ICE agent told me it stands for "Trump-Cleared Export"....code for "illegal immigrant"!!

Can TC please bail me out????

If not, I will post how the native chicken in mole sauce is compared to that served in US Mexican restaurants.


----------



## Scopitone

Fair to Middlin' Thread Ideas


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> Fair to Middlin' Thread Ideas


Now that's more like it


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite Drum Solo Thread


----------



## Merl

After the 'Baldism' thread, in the main forum, I'm beginning to think these are the sensible suggestions. I'm now terrified of approaching Japanese women, too (although the film Audition didn't help).


----------



## elgar's ghost

I've got a feeling I've posted this before very early on in the thread, but just in case I haven't how about Music's Sweatiest Conductor?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Maybe 10 favorite EXTREME metal albums was a stupid idea


----------



## Dim7

Extreme country music


----------



## David OByrne

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Maybe 10 favorite EXTREME metal albums was a stupid idea


How many elderly people do you expect listen to extreme metal?

I love metal by the way, I never even saw your thread


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How much do you love critics?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

POLL: Worst Works of Art of All Time?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Hello from a Virgin


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

So, I don't get the Mailer hype.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Show Must Go On ( Pink Floyd Variations)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mozart's Best Chamber


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll:  Bell or Marconi? AC or DC?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: How Do You Rate Beethoven's "Ankle"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

John Cage's Quietest and Slowest Works


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is it about undead performances...?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Which ending is more like an ending?


----------



## Merl

10 greatest triangle solos of all time.


----------



## hpowders

Why are some posters accepted more than others?


----------



## hpowders

What is it about recorded performances?


----------



## hpowders

Should classical music critics be given polygraph tests before purchasing any of their recommendations?


----------



## hpowders

What are the odds that if I name my brand new baby girl Tapiola, that she won't make it alive through third grade?


----------



## hpowders

Can anyone verify that Oliver North loves Joan _South_erland?


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Mahler was infrequently invited to parties because he was always quoting other composers and found to be boring?


----------



## hpowders

Moving forward, at the end of the day, which is your favorite opera role for the human voice?


----------



## millionrainbows

I always thought the expression "enhanced interrogation" was ridiculous. Let me try some:

Hydrogen bomb: "enhanced explosion"
Spam: "enhanced pork"
Mercedes Benz: an "enhanced KIA Rio"
Mozart: "enhanced Salieri"
Shooting someone: "enhanced target practice"
Rape: "enhanced foreplay"
Murder: "enhanced coma inducement"
Projectile vomiting: "enhanced heartburn"


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Moving forward, at the end of the day, which is your favorite opera role for the human voice?


I like it when counter tenors are playing the role of cross-dressing men who think they are lesbians. This works well with Baritones, too.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Merl said:


> 10 greatest triangle solos of all time.


Which CD's of these works is your favourite


----------



## millionrainbows

What is the latest phlegm you have seen?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do I un-delete my account?


----------



## millionrainbows

*I have received a cerebral infarction at TalkClassical.*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> *I have received a cerebral infarction at TalkClassical.*


Did it hurt much or was it an award


----------



## millionrainbows

You know those "blank books" with titles like "What I know about Women"? Here are some more ideas:

"Tonality in the Works of John Cage"

4'33" For Dummies


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> I like it when counter tenors are playing the role of cross-dressing men who think they are lesbians. This works well with Baritones, too.


I used to enjoy visiting my local butcher, always chopping chicken necks on his butcherblock counter.

He used to sing the mad scene from Peter Grimes as he worked. Quite a fine tenor.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How do I un-delete my account?


Simply re-gurgitate it. Do it in the sub-forums, please. I don't wish to see that.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> What is the latest phlegm you have seen?


I Ghent think of anything.....but if I eventually do, I will Altar this post.


----------



## Jacred

How do I un-delete a sockpuppet account so I can use it for another poll?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> How do I un-delete a sockpuppet account so I can use it for another poll?


You gotta wash it first, even I know that............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I'm selling my wax cylinder SMH Super High Material - Extra Wax collection, as I hear there has been some recent tech improvements in this area...............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

* Poll: Do you prefer to read the sheet music or the pits on your CD's *


----------



## Vaneyes

Beef tongue, pigs feet, oxtail, haggis.


----------



## Vaneyes

Paganini, Chavez, Villa-Lobos, Gilbert & Sullivan.


----------



## Vaneyes

Zerna Sharp, Thomas Pynchon, Franklin W. Dixon, Carolyn Keene.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> How do I un-delete a sockpuppet account so I can use it for another poll?


I could send you a couple of socks, but I have to wait for them to dry a bit, since I used them over the weekend.


----------



## Vaneyes

Chess, Checkers, Tiddlywinks, Pocket Pool, Pick-up Sticks.


----------



## hpowders

If you could only have one post to take with you to your desert island, which would it be?

Note: Mods' posts to shut down threads and eliminate posts do not qualify.


----------



## hpowders

TC Dessert Department:

So which is your favorite instant pudding?

1.Chocolate

2. Vanilla

3. Rum cake

4. Tapiola

5. I've already freeze-dried all my puddings in anticipation of Classical Music is Doomed Day, which is fast approaching!!


----------



## Vaneyes

Carrier Pigeon, Smoke Signals, Morse Code, Signal Flags.


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> I could send you a couple of socks, but I have to wait for them to dry a bit, since I used them over the weekend.


Do they have pointy toes? It works best if they're pointy.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Do they have pointy toes? It works best if they're pointy.


Not in my case.


----------



## Vaneyes

First Date, Second Date, Blind Date, Last Date.


----------



## Jacred

The curse of the 99999th post.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> First Date, Second Date, Blind Date, Last Date.


Just a bit of a critique: Prune these a bit to make them a bit more pit-hy.


----------



## Vaneyes

Rhubarb, turnip, yam, grits.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> Do they have pointy toes? It works best if they're pointy.


And they are better at Conducting too, if they are pointy


----------



## Vaneyes

Dress right, dress left.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Rhubarb, turnip, yam, grits.


Call Any Vegetable, Call it by name when you get off the phone, Call one today


----------



## Vaneyes

Honeymoon: North Korea; Syria; South Sudan; Sudan; Afghanistan.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> The curse of the 99999th post.


16,666. Powders Ponders. 

Ha! Ha! Already obsolete, smashing through the Devil's Barrier Reef!


----------



## Vaneyes

Fyre Festival. Stay home.


----------



## Bettina

Handel or Stravinsky: which one had a thicker accent when speaking English?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do I not delete my account?


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How do I not delete my account?


Good one , O.P comes back from time to time. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Classical toilet and the music


----------



## Merl

Best 20 composer scars.


----------



## Merl

Hans Rott's Favourite cigarette brand.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Honeymoon: North Korea; Syria; South Sudan; Sudan; Afghanistan.


More like hole in the Moon


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Good one , O.P comes back from time to time. :lol:


Like Elvis Hey!


----------



## Jacred

I'm musically lactose intolerant and a vegetarian.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> I'm musically lactose intolerant and a vegetarian.


But your good for a good dose of *Gluten *I hope.........


----------



## Vaneyes

Floss, Bikini Wax, Shave, Haircut, Pedicure, Manicure, Enema, Mud Bath.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Floss, Bikini Wax, Shave, Haircut, Pedicure, Manicure, Enema, Mud Bath.


In any particular order ??


----------



## Vaneyes

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> In any particular order ??


Dealer's choice.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Merl said:


> Hans Rott's Favourite cigarette brand.


What Odgen's Nut Gone Flake


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Dealer's choice.


Now I'm scared........................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

i would like to know if you folk on TC think i know about baking!


----------



## hpowders

People who need avatars are insecure. People who keep changing avatars are even more insecure.

Debate. Discuss, but don't make a fuss.


----------



## hpowders

For those who don't wish to spill the beans:

When I write a question asking for juicy tidbits about another poster, simply raise your right hand for "yes", left hand for "no".


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> I'm musically lactose intolerant and a vegetarian.


Put this on eHarmony.com and see how many responses you get.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Essential Mozart [the whole 4'33'' of it]


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Dangerous Baking!! Any takers??*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Resurrecting Old Magic Strange Post Cutting Clips


----------



## hpowders

Submit your latest photos!!!

Let's play match the poster tag with the active members' photos.

You have 10 minutes to brush your teeth/tooth before we commence!!!

This new game is guaranteed to thrill, excite or completely revulse you!!!


----------



## hpowders

New addition to the ToS:

Do you swear that the post you are about to post is the opinion, the whole opinion and nothing but the opinion, so help you, poster?

Click the box.


----------



## hpowders

Brahms was accepted to Juilliard. Mahler wasn't.

So why was Brahms more accepted than Mahler?


----------



## hpowders

The Unessential Works. An ongoing series.

Pieces you wouldn't recommend to your worst enemies.

Let's start with Mozart.


----------



## Vaneyes

Cough, burp, sneeze, hiccup, fart.


----------



## Vaneyes

Kleenex, toilet tissue, paper towel, paper napkin, lumberjack Kleenex.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Kleenex, toilet tissue, paper towel, paper napkin, lumberjack Kleenex.


I get the connection. None of them are available to posters during subforum interrogations.


----------



## Vaneyes

Hand lotion, face lotion, body lotion, K-Y Jelly, Vaseline, axle grease.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Cough, burp, sneeze, hiccup, fart.


I get the connection: All are reactions from posters' first encounters with the deeply underground TC subforums....probably from anxiety attacks.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Hand lotion, face lotion, body lotion, K-Y Jelly, Vaseline, axle grease.


I get the connection: I myself have used these items to lubricate socks that are a bit too small for me, so they will fit better.


----------



## hpowders

Compare the time periods that you were A) seriously and B) unseriously, listening to classical music.

Which was better?

Sources? References? Footnotes?


----------



## Vaneyes

Remarkable symphonies, numbered 1 to 309.


----------



## Vaneyes

Scratch, scab, bruise, welt, pimple, mole.


----------



## Vaneyes

No socks, no shoes, no service. Discuss.


----------



## Vaneyes

Lint, hair strand, fluff, glue, food, paint, powder.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> No socks, no shoes, no service. Discuss.


I could do without shoes. I could do without service.....but I dread the day when I will no longer have any use for my beloved socks.....for we have literally gone through thick and thin together.


----------



## Vaneyes

Darn, sew, knit, crochet, tape.


----------



## Vaneyes

News you find annoying.


----------



## Vaneyes

Birthday, anniversary, funeral.


----------



## Vaneyes

Paved, dirt, gravel, cobblestone.


----------



## Vaneyes

Candy, gum, chaw.


----------



## Vaneyes

Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, millenniums, millennias, epochs, eras.


----------



## Vaneyes

Met Gala, Fyre Festival, emergency room.


----------



## Vaneyes

Threads you find annoying.


----------



## Vaneyes

Hello from Cafeteria.


----------



## Vaneyes

Guns, knives, WOMD, peace.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.


----------



## Bettina

The single work that ended it all: which piece has destroyed your passion for classical music?


----------



## Jacred

Let's get Bach and Mozart to take an IQ test so we can see who's smarter than them.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Sorry folks, I'm all out of stupid ideas. I've only got clever ones left.

Wait, hold on a sec, my wife informs me she's found an extra bag full of them. Never mind.


----------



## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.


I give the answer, you give the question:

Answer: Planes, trains and automobiles.

Question: Which modes of transportation do posters take when they decide to say farewell to TC?


----------



## Vaneyes

Bad boy, good girl.


----------



## hpowders

Constitutional changes debated by the Trump administration:

First up: What should be the right of Spring?


----------



## Pugg

Vaneyes said:


> Bad boy, good girl.


Bad girl, good boy.


----------



## Bettina

If someone forgets all their classical music knowledge, does that make the person an ex-expert?


----------



## Pugg

Bettina said:


> If someone forgets all their classical music knowledge, does that make the person an ex-expert?


Can't remember.


----------



## hpowders

So who makes the best music, geckos or fire ants?


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> If someone forgets all their classical music knowledge, does that make the person an ex-expert?


Possibly. Old fart for sure.


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> So who makes the best music, geckos or fire ants?












I'm all in, but go easy, I'm elderly.


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Constitutional changes debated by the Trump administration:
> 
> First up: What should be the right of Spring?


Kim Jong-un makes Trump his bitch?


----------



## hpowders

EXTRA!!! Top 600 classical music poll from Ultra-Conservative Magazine!!

Brahms Violin Concerto omitted!! Theme from Star Wars, number 11!!!

539 works considered "relaxing"!!


----------



## hpowders

Area 51:

So how do I convert my account from active poster to invisible lurker?
Any paper work that I have to sign?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

What's the most relaxing classical music to play when being chased by angry villagers with torches and pitchforks?


----------



## hpowders

Chased by angry villagers?

Rubinstein, Wallenstein, Frankenstein.

Choose.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Kim Jong-un makes Trump his bitch?


He probably drives a Hundai from the South, at night, when nobody's looking.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement:

I notice a lot of: "Which composer is better A or B; B or C; A or D?".....

My idea is why don't we have a large comprehensive, "which is the greatest classical composer?" thread. Worth a shot?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Would you prefer to listen to Bach in Afghanistan or Justin Bieber in California?


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> Constitutional changes debated by the Trump administration:
> 
> First up: What should be the right of Spring?


Didn't Spring migrate here from a warmer country? 
_She has no rights_!


----------



## laurie

Vaneyes said:


> Darn, sew, knit, crochet, tape.


Staple .... .........


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Irish composers.

Post no. 1. I will start: Handel O'Brahms.


----------



## hpowders

TC Culinary Section:

Which do you prefer, hot dates or cold prunes?


----------



## hpowders

Should music critics be subject to periodic, unannounced polygraph tests to keep them honest?


----------



## hpowders

Area 51:

Hey fellow posters: I've been used to viewing the same 17 threads for 3 weeks and then, all of a sudden, today, a new one hit the board...almost gave me a heart attack!! Don't do that!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Most Revolutionary Piece of Each Century BCE


----------



## hpowders

Long-time lurker saying "good-bye".

Don't cry for me, Thumbelina.
The truth is, I never left you.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Most Revolutionary Piece of Each Century BCE


Flintstone Symphony No. 4 ("Fight or Flight"). My favorite/favourite. Like _dino_-mite; simply _saurs._


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Flintstone Symphony No. 4 ("Fight or Flight"). My favorite/favourite. Like _dino_-mite; simply _saurs._


or rock lobster concerto with banging sticks chorus


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Which composers simply leave you panting?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Does it matter what they sound like?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Metal and classical the connection is Brass?


----------



## hpowders

At what level do you listen to Forgotten Romantic Era Adagios?

Post no. 1: Curious: Do you play forgotten Renaissance adagios louder than the forgotten Romantic Era Adagios, the way the Inquisitors did to drown out the screams of the gently interrogated heathens, back in the day?


----------



## hpowders

Would Paganini have gone crazy if during one of his pyrotechnical concerts, hpowders screamed out, "Yeah, yeah...but can you move me emotionally with the second movement from Beethoven's Violin Concerto?"


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Would Paganini have gone crazy if during one of his pyrotechnical concerts, hpowders screamed out, "Yeah, yeah...but can you move me emotionally with the second movement from Beethoven's Violin Concerto?"


Then hpowders hears a rude voice from the balcony, "Hey!!! Sit down, dotage!!!"

This is part of an ongoing series and will be continued.


----------



## laurie

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> or* rock lobster concerto* with banging sticks chorus


Are you talking about this?


----------



## laurie

Name your favorite Crustacean Concerto or Shellfish Symphony


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> Name your favorite Crustacean Concerto or Shellfish Symphony


My barber wrote a symphony last year, the Scallop Symphony, which made me a little nervous. I was thinking of Siouxing him, but I was getting a-head of myself, as all he managed to cut was my hair.


----------



## hpowders

So who's the greater composer: Scriabin or Prometheus?


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> My barber wrote a symphony last year, the Scallop Symphony, which made me a little nervous. I was thinking of Siouxing him, but I was getting a-head of myself, as all he managed to cut was my hair.


...:lol:.... oh, hpowders, you crack me up!


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> Name your favorite Crustacean Concerto or Shellfish Symphony


My ex-wife Shelli may know....


----------



## Jacred

How loudly do you listen to 4'33"?


----------



## hpowders

With all the hatred of certain composers in full view, perhaps a great majority of us actually hate classical music!!!


----------



## hpowders

Area 51:

Should ESL people be allowed to write in their native languages with running, real time subtitles in English, along the bottoms of their posts, so we know EXACTLY what they are trying to say?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> How loudly do you listen to 4'33"?


I turn it up to 11


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I turn it up to 11


I'll try that. I couldn't hear it at moderate volume.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'll try that. I couldn't hear it at moderate volume.


Its called the Spinal Tap Solution................


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> With all the hatred of certain composers in full view, perhaps a great majority of us actually hate classical music!!!


Because some people think that bashing a composer makes them sound more intelligent than praising one.

Part of being 'knowlegeable' about classical music is having a few scapegoats to load your criticisms on.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Because some people think that bashing a composer makes them sound more intelligent than praising one.
> 
> Part of being 'knowlegeable' about classical music is having a few scapegoats to load your criticisms on.


It's incredible-the shock & awe when a poster confronts someone who dislikes a composer he/she loves.

If you are going to survive on TC, you have to be tolerant of other views.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> Because some people think that bashing a composer makes them sound more intelligent than praising one.
> 
> Part of being 'knowlegeable' about classical music is having a few scapegoats to load your criticisms on.


Does that means the more bashing a composer gets the more there music is underappreciated or is their music just too clever....................


----------



## hpowders

Area 51:

Suggestion:

I've collected soda bottles successfully to get refunds on their deposits.

Now I'm expanding to Community Forum Posts.

I have a huge bag of 11,383 uncredited posts. Either you give me 3¢ a post or credit my post count properly!!

It's only right!!! :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Mahler's Five Greatest Moments

List them in descending order.

References, Footnotes.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Chopin or Maxi Priest?


----------



## Pugg

Jacred said:


> How loudly do you listen to 4'33"?


Depends on the how high the volume can reach.


----------



## laurie

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Its called the Spinal Tap Solution................


I love Spinal Tap ....

[Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano]
_Marty DiBergi_: It's very pretty.
_Nigel Tufnel_: Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months.
_Marty DiBergi_: It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.
_Nigel Tufnel_: It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
_Marty DiBergi_: It's very nice.
_Nigel Tufnel_: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
_Marty DiBergi_: What do you call this?
_Nigel Tufnel:_ Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".

Really ... how can anybody _not _love Spinal Tap?!


----------



## hpowders

Best dotage composers.

List your favorites. They must be over 200 and on Medicare.


----------



## Jacred

Which composers would simply leave you in the cold?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

laurie said:


> I love Spinal Tap ....
> 
> [Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano]
> _Marty DiBergi_: It's very pretty.
> _Nigel Tufnel_: Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months.
> _Marty DiBergi_: It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.
> _Nigel Tufnel_: It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
> _Marty DiBergi_: It's very nice.
> _Nigel Tufnel_: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
> _Marty DiBergi_: What do you call this?
> _Nigel Tufnel:_ Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".
> 
> Really ... how can anybody _not _love Spinal Tap?!


Yeah that my fav Tap moment


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Could a Computer compose 4'33''


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Which composers simply leave you luke warm?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Did Schoenberg invent the Shoey


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Which composers simply left you?


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Which composers simply left you?


If you replace "composers" with "women", then I have a thread I can relate to!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> If you replace "composers" with "women", then I have a thread I can relate to!


and a story about Wagner..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do Computers prefer Baroque or Disco Music ?


----------



## hpowders

If a computer has a Baroque-en hard drive, would it then be capable of composing some great atonal music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> If a computer has a Baroque-en hard drive, would it then be capable of composing some great atonal music?


I liked the first version better but what would Baroque atonal music sound like?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I liked the first version better but what would Baroque atonal music sound like?


It could be used to Baraque down terrorists and reveal their hiding places.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Can someone learn 1 instrument in their lifetime?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

^Related question: Can someone play 2 flutes and 1 trumpet at the same time?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> ^Related question: Can someone play 2 flutes and 1 trumpet at the same time?


Yes but I don't want to see or hear it...................


----------



## Bettina

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> ^Related question: Can someone play 2 flutes and 1 trumpet at the same time?


Yes, but several orifices would have to be involved...


----------



## laurie

Bettina said:


> Yes, but several orifices would have to be involved...


 .......... :trp: .....  ........


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Bettina said:


> Yes, but several orifices would have to be involved...


I'm afraid one gender has an advantage.


----------



## Pugg

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> I'm afraid one gender has an advantage.


The best I've seen in a long time.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> I'm afraid one gender has an advantage.


In suck or blow?:angel:


----------



## Dan Ante

My good lord what have I entered???????????? my first visit to this thread and it is not about stupid thread ideas, a young lad blushes and retires.


----------



## Bettina

Dan Ante said:


> My good lord what have I entered???????????? my first visit to this thread and it is not about stupid thread ideas, a young lad blushes and retires.


STI doesn't actually stand for Stupid Thread Ideas...it stands for Sexy Thread Ideas!


----------



## Pugg

Dan Ante said:


> My good lord what have I entered???????????? my first visit to this thread and it is not about stupid thread ideas, a young lad blushes and retires.


But you did peak did you......


----------



## Dim7

What incorrect beliefs do you have?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dim7 said:


> What incorrect beliefs do you have?


Just off the top of my head, I will need to consolidate my list and get back to you..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Barking!! Any barking mad people here ??


----------



## hpowders

Old composer needing help!!

Post no. 1: Could someone help me fill out my Medicare application...can't see it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What do you think about Insect band names?


----------



## hpowders

Is there a correlation between religious music and the deity, or is it simply another excuse to party?


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!!!

I was listening to some free music and the YouTube blew out.

Does Home Depot sell replacement tubes? Like, how much?


----------



## laurie

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What do you think about Insect band names?


I like Body Part band names even better!
Talking Heads, The Shins, Badfinger, The Flaming Lips....


----------



## laurie

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> In suck or blow?:angel:


 ........ Both.


----------



## hpowders

The flaming lips? Sounds like when my Aunt Bea had pneumonia.


----------



## hpowders

TC Technical Help Department:

I'm a middle-aged atonal composer. Can someone provide me with a little help?

Post No. 1: $1700 'til June would get me through the Spring.


----------



## laurie

*Band Names that sound rather Painful ?*

The Flaming Lips
Smashmouth
B*tth*le Surfers
Spinal Tap
The Red Hot Skillet Lickers

Ouch! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Where do I go from here, Brahms?


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> Where do I go from here, Brahms?


He's not talking to you since you dumped him for Bach.


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> He's not talking to you since you dumped him for Bach.


I did it for Clara's honor/honour....err...virtue.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Help needed!!!
> 
> I was listening to some free music and the YouTube blew out.
> 
> Does Home Depot sell replacement tubes? Like, how much?


the Russian ones are best..........


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> the Russian ones are best..........


Yes! In the US we love our Russian connections, electrical or otherwise.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

If Classical was the Only Music Ever Classical


----------



## hpowders

I played one of Mozart's early Masses at 2:37PM this afternoon. Is this a sin?

I want to get it right!!!!


----------



## hpowders

Mediocre First Symphonies.

List your favorites right here!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I played one of Mozart's early Masses at 2:37PM this afternoon. Is this a sin?
> 
> I want to get it right!!!!


Which instrument do you play it on..................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which instrument do you play it on..................


A sock-butt.

Man!! You are making this too easy!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> A sock-butt.
> 
> Man!! You are making this too easy!!!


I'm sure that is a sin in some states- we need to do a poll


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> A* sock-butt*.
> 
> Man!! You are making this too easy!!!


What the heck is a _sock-butt_, fella?


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> I played one of Mozart's early Masses at 2:37PM this afternoon. Is this a sin?
> 
> I want to get it right!!!!





EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which instrument do you play it on..................


An organ? ..... :angel:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

laurie said:


> What the heck is a _sock-butt_, fella?


I'm not sure but it certainly sounds Illegal in most civilised societies............


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> What the heck is a _sock-butt_, fella?


A sackbut was a Renaissance Era trombone. As far as a sock-butt is concerned, it gets complicated.


----------



## Jacred

Unknown motif from 4'33".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> Unknown motif from 4'33".


Ah, I thought I had heard it before.............


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> A sackbut was a Renaissance Era trombone. As far as a sock-butt is concerned, it gets complicated.


Ah, maybe it's another one of those Brooklyn things ....:lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Trumpless View - Yes No

http://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/flying-pigs-will-block-trumps-chicago-tower


----------



## hpowders

Which would be your preference, if you could only have one?

A. Bach-Busoni

B. Biscuit Tortoni

C. Ravioli by Buitoni


----------



## Jacred

I should start a drinking game for how many times I see a Composer A vs Composer B thread. Yes, yes, that's a good idea...

(I am not a minor...)


----------



## Vaneyes

Dmitri Shostakovich, Stephen Kovacevich, Jock Itch, Lydia Mordkovitch.


----------



## JeffD

"If Sibelius were alive today would he use Sibelius?"


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> "If Sibelius were alive today would he use Sibelius?"


Also, would Dvorak use a Dvorak keyboard?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Who wrote the Worst Violin Concerto


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Recordings that should have been Canceled or Modified...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

dont like Crap and never will


----------



## hpowders

Recommendation needed:

The best psychedelic mushrooms to consume to get the most out of listening to Wagner's Ring, now that Sigmund Freud is no longer with us? 
Rumcake didn't work.


----------



## hpowders

Who could have written the best violin concerto?

Post no. 1: Brahms, if Beethoven would have been aborted. But he wasn't!! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!!


----------



## Vaneyes

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Who wrote the Worst Violin Concerto


Paganini, no relation to Varese.


----------



## hpowders

I've had enough of this!! All those who don't think Beethoven's Violin Concerto is the best one, line up against that wall...

Yes! Yes!! The one with all the bullet holes!!!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> dont like Crap and never will


I have some Crap. You can take Crap if you want it.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Who wrote the Worst Violin Concerto


W. Schuman; a disappointment after some fine symphonies.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> W. Schuman; a disappointment after some fine symphonies.


I think Nero's was a bit too hot to Handel


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I think Nero's was a bit too hot to Handel


But he did use HIP fiddling practices while Rome burned. Better than nothing. Too bad nobody thought to record it with a smart phone. Perhaps the Rome-ing charges would have been too high.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> But he did use HIP fiddling practices while Rome burned. Better than nothing. Too bad nobody thought to record it with a smart phone. Perhaps the Rome-ing charges would have been too high.


and that folks is how the Romin empire ended, so be careful with your fiddle........


----------



## hpowders

I'm thinking of this classical thing from a movie. Can you help identify it?

It's like duh, dah dah dit dit da dit da dit.....

PM me. I'm dying to know!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'm thinking of this classical thing from a movie. Can you help identify it?
> 
> It's like duh, dah dah dit dit da dit da dit.....
> 
> PM me. I'm dying to know!!!


Simple, didn't know you liked kiwi songs


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> I'm thinking of this classical thing from a movie. Can you help identify it?
> 
> It's like duh, dah dah dit dit da dit da dit.....
> 
> PM me. I'm dying to know!!!


I think I know that one! It's from _Spinal Tap_ - Mach's "Lick My Love Pump".
:tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Which is your favorite:

1. Post Office

2. Post Modernism

3. Post Toasties

3. Post Sugar Crisp

4. Post Deletion


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What do you think about The Rutles? Were they that great?


----------



## JeffD

Poll: the most forgettable composer of the last 300 years.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

JeffD said:


> Poll: the most forgettable composer of the last 300 years.


Oh, I can't remember!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Baking!! Any baking people? How fast should you cook them?


----------



## jdec

What's your favorite middle movement of Beethoven's Violin Concerto?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Poll:* What's your favorite part of Beethoven?

-Head
-Torso
-Arms
-Abdomen
-Legs
-Other (please specify)


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> *Poll:* What's your favorite part of Beethoven?
> 
> -Head
> -Torso
> -Arms
> -Abdomen
> -Legs
> -Other (please specify)


With me, his teeth made a fine first impression.


----------



## hpowders

TC Politics Section:

Is it true that President Trump loves potatoes so much, he's thinking of changing his name to Dick Tater.


----------



## hpowders

Looking 4 the fastest way 2 n orchestra job.

Should I take up the violin or mandolin? My time frame is around 5 years.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Birds that look like birds


----------



## Bettina

Composers who look like composers


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Looking 4 the fastest way 2 n orchestra job.
> 
> Should I take up the violin or mandolin? My time frame is around 5 years.


I would suggest Triangle


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Petition for all the people with Mendelssohn avatars on the forum to fuse and form the ultimate conglomerate multi-Mendelssohn


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

That could be a multi- dimensional multi-Mendelssohn


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> Looking 4 the fastest way 2 n orchestra job.
> 
> Should I take up the violin or mandolin? My time frame is around 5 years.


 Sackbut players are in high demand, I hear ....:trp:


----------



## laurie

Jacred said:


> I should start a drinking game for how many times I see a Composer A vs Composer B thread. Yes, yes, that's a good idea...
> 
> (I am not a minor...)


Just don't add "Bach polls" to your game; you'll be an alcoholic before you know it! :cheers:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How to Play the Violin Without Sounding Like a Dying Cat

http://www.teenink.com/nonfiction/a...the-Violin-Without-Sounding-Like-a-Dying-Cat/


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> Sackbut players are in high demand, I hear ....:trp:


You mean sock-butts? I have that area completely covered.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Romantic Classical Music Program Notes Generator!


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I would suggest Triangle


Sounds too square.


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Composers that would make good hobos.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Composers that would make good hobos.


Any contemporary atonal composer. They are used to jumping trains to get back to Momma's House for Thanksgiving Dinner.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Any contemporary atonal composer. They are used to jumping trains to get back to Momma's House for Thanksgiving Dinner.


Nah that's Microtonal, good ol Harry Partch anyone could pick that.............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Nah that's Microtonal, good ol Harry Partch anyone could pick that.............


My cousin used to be nicknamed Micro-Tony, because he was, well....you know....the girls used to laugh at him....


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> You mean sock-butts? I have that area completely covered.


.... your sock-butt area?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

laurie said:


> .... your sock-butt area?


Now that would be dirty Laundry


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Your favorite Beethoven silent movement


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> .... your sock-butt area?


Maybe....maybe not....


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Your favorite Beethoven silent movement


Beethoven playing the clavichord in Piano Sonata no. 32: Arietta-Adagio.


----------



## laurie

*Poll: Should topless avatars be allowed on TC?*

a) YES .. (Why not? Freedom of personal expression & all...)

b) NO....  (For the love of god, man - _put on a shirt_!)


----------



## Jacred

The Bach polls should combine with the "More Depressing Bach works?" thread. Then we can all vote for the most depressing Bach works.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Beethoven playing the clavichord in Piano Sonata no. 32: Arietta-Adagio.


Hey mine too.....................


----------



## Jacred

Best composer to represent single-celled amoeba?


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> Best composer to represent single-celled amoeba?


Maybe Beethoven? Many of his works are based on a single musical idea - a single cell, so to speak!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> Best composer to represent single-celled amoeba?


Whilst infected with a brain eating Amoeba...............


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Who wrote the Beethoven violin concerto?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Favorite letter in Beethoven.


----------



## Blancrocher

Windstorms that have blown you away recently.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite note in a Beethoven Symphony.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Who wrote the Beethoven violin concerto?


Can I call a friend?


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

hpowders said:


> Can I call a friend?


Sure, if you got 'em.


----------



## hpowders

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Sure, if you got 'em.


I can always rent one.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: What are the least depressing Bach works without being elating?


----------



## hpowders

TC Books Section

Post 11317: I just got The Rise & Fall of the Third Reich.

Without telling me the ending, whether the Germans won or lost, and spoiling it for me, is it a good read?


----------



## hpowders

I like Sibelius. Does that make me weird?

I just want to do the right thing.


----------



## hpowders

Classical music that can make a racehorse run faster.


----------



## hpowders

Which do you like better: Essential Schumann or Essential Sibelius?

A coincidence that both composers share the same first name?


----------



## dillonp2020

"Does anybody have a lock of Liszt's luscious hair for sale?"


----------



## dillonp2020

Why does Mozart's requiem feel like it's missing something?


----------



## Bettina

dillonp2020 said:


> Will mocking people make me popular?


The keys to popularity on TC are:

1. Worshipping Beethoven
2. Mocking Cage
3. Pointing out Wagner's anti-semitism
4. Making lists of the greatest works of all time
5. Responding to polls about composer X vs. composer Y (and then vehemently arguing that your choice is superior)

Just kidding (mostly)! Hope I didn't scare you away from TC. :lol:


----------



## dillonp2020

Bettina said:


> The keys to popularity on TC are:
> 
> 1. Worshipping Beethoven
> 2. Mocking Cage
> 3. Pointing out Wagner's anti-semitism
> 4. Making lists of the greatest works of all time
> 5. Responding to polls about composer X vs. composer Y (and then vehemently arguing that your choice is superior)
> 
> Just kidding (mostly)! Hope I didn't scare you away from TC. :lol:


I'm certainly not scared away, more enticed in fact. I already practice the criteria in my personal interactions. Sadly most people in the world only know Beethoven in name (and perhaps the motif of the 5th symphony), and are lucky to not know Cage at all. Thanks for the points.


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> Classical music that can make a racehorse run faster.


I don't know .... but Respighi's _Pines of Rome_ can make whales fly!


----------



## Bettina

dillonp2020 said:


> I'm certainly not scared away, more enticed in fact. I already practice the criteria in my personal interactions. Sadly most people in the world only know Beethoven in name (and perhaps the motif of the 5th symphony), and are lucky to not know Cage at all. Thanks for the points.


I'm glad that you enjoyed my list - but please do take it with a grain of salt! I was poking fun at certain forms of behavior that seem to be rather common on TC. I'm actually not sure whether or not this list is a good recipe for popularity. I intended it more as a tongue-in-cheek description of how some members (including me!:lol tend to behave.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

*Poll:* Favorite owl

• Barn Owl
• Great Horned Owl
• Eurasian Eagle Owl
• Snowy Owl
• Great Grey Owl
• Tawny Owl
• Barred Owl
• Little Owl
• Burrowing Owl
• Long-Eared Owl
• Short-Eared Owl
• That owl that looks like Bach
• Other (please specify)
• I don't like owls


----------



## hpowders

I just bought "Julio, Seize Her!!!" by Handel.

Is this a pirate CD?


----------



## Art Rock

Which computer would be best to represent humanity?


----------



## Dim7

Which composer would be worst to represent aardvarks?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Which composer would be the best to represent Mendelssohn?


----------



## Blancrocher

Tristan and Isolde's Stalker


----------



## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet

Which composer would be best to represent invertebrates?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

art rock said:


> which computer would be best to represent humanity?


hal ...................................................


----------



## Vaneyes

Short composers versus tall composers. Discuss.


----------



## Vaneyes

Abraham Lincoln said:


> *Poll:* Favorite owl
> 
> • Barn Owl
> • Great Horned Owl
> • Eurasian Eagle Owl
> • Snowy Owl
> • Great Grey Owl
> • Tawny Owl
> • Barred Owl
> • Little Owl
> • *Burrowing Owl*
> • Long-Eared Owl
> • Short-Eared Owl
> • That owl that looks like Bach
> • Other (please specify)
> • I don't like owls


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> Who wrote the Beethoven violin concerto?
> 
> 
> 
> Can I call a friend?
Click to expand...

This wouldn't be a trivial question if I wrote a violin concerto and called it the "Beethoven Violin Concerto".


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> This wouldn't be a trivial question if I wrote a violin concerto and called it the "Beethoven Violin Concerto".


In that case, you'd have to pay royalties to Beethoven. I'm not sure how that would work...maybe you'd have to leave the money on his grave or something? :lol:


----------



## Jacred

Bettina said:


> In that case, you'd have to pay royalties to Beethoven. I'm not sure how that would work...maybe you'd have to leave the money on his grave or something? :lol:


I would probably do that without even being asked... :lol:


----------



## jdec

Your favorite Concertos for Bag Pipe and Orchestra. Please limit your selections to only 3.


----------



## Dr Johnson

jdec said:


> Your favorite Concertos for Bag Pipe and Orchestra. Please limit your selections to only 3.


----------



## Pugg

jdec said:


> Your favorite Concertos for Bag Pipe and Orchestra. Please limit your selections to only 3.


----------



## Dr Johnson

To adapt Ian Fleming: one bagpipe concerto is happenstance. Two is coincidence. Three is enemy action.


----------



## jdec

Your favorite version of a Double Concerto for Maraques and Triangle *not* composed by Brahms. Please specify the soloists and orchestra.


----------



## Jacred

Impressive classical music errors you have made.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Your Top Four Brahms Symphonies

Top Two Ives String Quartets

Top Nine Beethoven Symphonies

*Thank you, have I sufficiently driven this idea into the ground?


----------



## millionrainbows

millionrainbows said:


> *Your Top Four Brahms Symphonies
> 
> Top Two Ives String Quartets
> 
> Top Nine Beethoven Symphonies
> 
> *Thank you, have I sufficiently driven this idea into the ground?





MisterCritic said:


> The idea itself is flawed. There may be a 10th by Beethoven, Ives wrote what is called "The Pre-First Quartet," and Schoenberg's orchestration of the Piano Quartet in G minor is considered by some to be his "fifth symphony." Please get your facts straight before you dare to post untruths like this again.


Wow, I was just trying to be stupid.


----------



## hpowders

Find the connection:

1. Emperor

2. Morning Papers

3. Christoph

4. Flowers


----------



## hpowders

TC German Club bilingual thread department:

Are 73 polls on Bach favorite works, too many?

1. Ya!

2. Könnte sein!

3. Nein!

3. The doorbell's ringing. I'll be Bach.

4. Try a 74th and see what happens. Es könnte hasslich werden!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Disco porn. Must it be?


----------



## Blancrocher

*A Solution in Search of a Problem*

stilts


----------



## Bettina

Does the sound of clapping bother you in Reich's Clapping Music?


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Find the connection:
> 
> 1. Emperor
> 
> 2. Morning Papers
> 
> 3. Christoph
> 
> 4. Flowers


The answer of course is they are all "Waltzes".


----------



## Jacred

Breaking down the concept of "4:33". Hey, wait a minute... is this something that the STI thread is actually good at?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

jdec said:


> Your favorite version of a Double Concerto for Maraques and Triangle *not* composed by Brahms. Please specify the soloists and orchestra.


Soloist - Lemmy, Orchestra - Spinal Tap

That's my kinda Concerto


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Does the sound of clapping bother you in Reich's Clapping Music?


Yep it gives me the .................. (add your own ending)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> I would probably do that without even being asked... :lol:


Just tell me the time and day you are planning to do this


----------



## Bettina

Brilliant classical music errors you have made


----------



## Pugg

Another 4:33 thread please .


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite Virus infected Music web sites


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Another 4:33 thread please .


Click on this if you dare

Another 4:33 thread


----------



## Art Rock

After a performance of 4'33", does one applaud? Or maybe just one hand clapping?


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Click on this if you dare
> 
> Another 4:33 thread


I never click on links from strangers.:lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who are the better composers Cats or Dogs


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Mendelssohn is evil. Do you have any tips, ideas, successes - or hope - to share?


----------



## hpowders

If someone posts he is leaving TC forever, is it polite to clap at the end of reading the post?

I just want to do the right thing!


----------



## Vaneyes

Trident, Tri-Cities, Tricycle, Trisexual.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Trident, Tri-Cities, Tricycle, Trisexual.


No offense, but it seems you are tri-ing too hard.


----------



## hpowders

How many multiple versions of the Talk Classical Site do you possess?

For me, I own three: I can get TC on Desktop, tablet and wife's iPhone.

So how many multiple TC's do you own?

I love the comparative viewing of TC on multiple devices. I live for that!!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Who are the better composers Cats or Dogs


Can I call a friend?


----------



## hpowders

Compare Igor Sanofsky with the New York Philharmonic.

Post No. 1: Well one thing I notice, the NY Philharmonic has 107 people; Igor is only one.

I hope this is okay. I want to do the right thing!


----------



## hpowders

I have a herniated disc in my Bach. Would it be okay if I move my top 3 violin concertos down to a lower drawer to ease the strain?


----------



## hpowders

Amazing! I grew sick of Beethoven. Took 10 days of an antibiotic, and Beethoven is all of a sudden, as fresh as a piece of refrigerated rumcake.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Can I call a friend?


I would suggest Frenchy


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I would suggest Frenchy


Yes. Frenchy Kuist.


----------



## Vaneyes

Wetsuit, lingerie, skinny jeans, burka.


----------



## Jacred

Poll: Favourite Opus 6300.


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> Poll: Favourite Opus 6300.


Probably one of Scarlatti's keyboard sonatas...


----------



## Vaneyes

Whipped, tickled, poked, pushed, punched.


----------



## Vaneyes

Voyager, wanderer, voyeur, wayfarer.


----------



## Vaneyes

Bra, jock, girdle, ankle support, elbow support, wrist support, knee support, abdominal binder, pantyhose, hairnet, neck brace.


----------



## Vaneyes

Cane, walking stick, crutch, wheelchair.


----------



## Vaneyes

Ice cream, gelato, yogurt, frozen yogurt, tofu.


----------



## hpowders

Dumb mistakes listening to classical music:

While listening to Prokofiev's Peter & the Wolf, I accidentally shot and killed grandfather. I thought he was a bassoon.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Cane, walking stick, crutch, wheelchair.


Was that a Medicare Crutch, Obamacare Crutch or a Nestle's Crutch?


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Whipped, tickled, poked, pushed, punched.


Remove "tickled" and it was simply a day in the life of hpowders at 15 years of age, living at his parents' home.


----------



## Bettina

We need a list of the TC top recommended threads


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> We need a list of the TC top recommended threads


I hope it doesn't include any sewing machine Bach!


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Remove "tickled" and it was simply a day in the life of hpowders at 15 years of age, living at his parents' home.


Yeah...my parents must be the only ones who tell me to bring a horsewhip with me to Thanksgiving dinner.


----------



## Vaneyes

Mouth, nostril, pore, Eustachian tube, eye socket, urethra, Area 51, wazoo.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> We need a list of the TC top recommended threads


Yeah top 100, lets have a poll


----------



## Vaneyes

STI Pages 1 - 1075, discuss.


----------



## Jacred

Poll: Recommended STI pages.


----------



## Vaneyes

Tsi, its, sit, sti, ist.


----------



## Vaneyes

Security: Is STI keeping us safe? Discuss.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Have you ever paid a lot of money for a free download recording?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Beavis vs. Butthead Poll No. 1


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Beavis vs. Butthead Poll No. 2


----------



## Bettina

Poll: your favorite mediocre violin concerto


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Silence at the end of the music


----------



## Pugg

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the vilest of them all. 
( Those without one ounce of humour and self reflection)


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I've grown sick of Zozart.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Doom metal from Deep Space


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Wax Cylinder Only Discussion


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Does Naxos really blow?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What are your favorite pieces of Religious music?

The ones where they let you out of the church at the end of the sermon...........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Rach 433 The little known variations


----------



## hpowders

The favorite work by Opus Number from 1-666, thread.

Please list each work individually by name and opus number.


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> The favorite work by Opus Number from 1-666, thread.
> 
> Please list each work individually by name and opus number.


And explain why you *Like*.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: your favorite mediocre violin concerto


Dvorak. Schmaltzily mediocre.

Schumann. Insanely mediocre.

Schuman. Modernly mediocre.


----------



## Vaneyes

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Rach 433 The little known variations


*"And ironically found with a dinosaur fossil."

*


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> And explain why you *Like*.


As pseudo intellectuals, that was implied.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> *"And ironically found with a dinosaur fossil."
> 
> *


From my favorite TV show of all time. Love the great, droll John Hausman!


----------



## Vaneyes

Miami STI, New Orleans STI, Vegas STI, LA STI.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Miami STI, New Orleans STI, Vegas STI, LA STI.


I got it! I got it!! All are sanctuary cities! Right???


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> As pseudo intellectuals, that was implied.


Small steps for TC wild.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Rach 433 The little known variations


Just before he died, the composer was working on a new piano concerto, supposedly listenable for young, middle-aged and older listeners. He never finished it, subtitled, "Rach of Ages". What might have been!


----------



## millionrainbows

Goldberg: "Bach, play me my variations! And while you're at it, put on a pot of chicken soup!"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Miami STI, New Orleans STI, Vegas STI, LA STI.


I'm still waiting for Outback Jack STI


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> Goldberg: "Bach, play me my variations! And while you're at it, put on a pot of chicken soup!"


"Sorry. I used a duck instead. Ever hear a Dach-au? A scream like nothing since the Inquisition." Loosely translated from the anti-semitic old German.


----------



## hpowders

I hate this place! Can I put "signing up on TC" as my classical music error?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Thread Idea Discussion - Find Mozart's Worst Work


----------



## millionrainbows

*Fernyhough's Extended Tonality*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Listening to Mozart in Silk Underwear: A New Way To Appreciation*


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Thread Idea Discussion - Find Mozart's Worst Work


I nominate his song "lick my ***" for this distinction. Certainly not one of his most sublime masterworks!


----------



## Bettina

^By the way, I put the asterisks in the above song title, in order to comply with the TC terms of service. I'm afraid that I would be banned if I accurately cited the title of Mozart's masterpiece.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> I nominate his song "lick my ***" for this distinction. Certainly not one of his most sublime masterworks!


Ah the Spinal Tap Variations...............


----------



## millionrainbows

> Goldberg: "Bach, play me my variations! And while you're at it, put on a pot of chicken soup!"










EddieRUKiddingVarese, Bettina liked this post

Well, I'm glad that SOMEBODY liked this post without making remarks about Dachau and antisemitism.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Pitch Vectors and Invertible Symmetry in Mozart*


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> I hate this place! Can I put "signing up on TC" as my classical music error?


Haters gonna hate...


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> *Pitch Vectors and Invertible Symmetry in Mozart*


Mozart's masterpiece "Lick My A**" is very symmetrical...he asks the listener to give equal attention to both cheeks. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Hold on. Beethoven was deaf? Come on! Gimmee a break! I'm new but I ain't dumb!


----------



## Bettina

Can I become Ditters von Dittersdorf?


----------



## Bettina

Bettina said:


> Mozart's masterpiece "Lick My A**" is very symmetrical...he asks the listener to give equal attention to both cheeks. :lol:


Also, it definitely counts as an *a*to*nal* piece.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Can I become Ditters von Dittersdorf?


Would any kid with a name like that ever survive third grade, not in an irreversible coma in June?


----------



## hpowders

New Game: Find Beethoven's Best Work.

I cover my eyes and count to 100. You hide Beethoven's finest scores throughout my house. See how many I can find!

Oh, so fun!!!!!


----------



## Jacred

Help, I'm getting sick of classical music. Considering surgery.


----------



## jdec

My debut as composer: Variations for Piano on a Theme by Cage (4'33''). Opinions requested...


----------



## Bettina

Can Stupid Thread Ideas be over-intellectualized?


----------



## Pugg

Bettina said:


> Can Stupid Thread Ideas be over-intellectualized?


We left that station ages ago, you are in the wrong train madam. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Beethoven Bagpipes


----------



## Dim7

Thrill and excitement: isn't it time for a more dangerous website?


----------



## Bettina

The top ten most overrated posts:

Which posts have gotten more likes than they deserve?


----------



## Bettina

^I nominate my own post #10 in this Brahms thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/47602-brahms.html

I got way too many likes - a grand total of ten! - for saying that Brahms, a lifelong bachelor, enjoyed his lonely sausage. A highly overrated post!


----------



## jdec

Is there any Debussy and Rachmaninov influences in Beethoven's piano sonatas? did Beethoven hold in high regard these wonderful composers?


----------



## jdec

Bettina said:


> ^I nominate my own post #10 in this Brahms thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/47602-brahms.html
> 
> I got way too many likes - a grand total of ten! - for saying that Brahms, a lifelong bachelor, enjoyed his lonely sausage. A highly overrated post!


Not overrated at all. Well deserved likes


----------



## Bettina

jdec said:


> Not overrated at all. Well deserved likes


Thanks, jdec!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Can Stupid Thread Ideas be over-intellectualized?


Not as long as I'm here. I provide the Czechs and balances to keep the level as Lowe as possible.


----------



## hpowders

Recommended opus numbers for classical music novices?

I teach basic classical music appreciation and I'm new at it. I just want to do it right!!!


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Should I post exclusiively on Community Forum from now on? I love that "17,000" and don't want to spoil it.

I can keep posting about my hobbies.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

How many countries can you name where a metal band was arrested?


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Poll: Should I post exclusiively on Community Forum from now on? *I love that "17,000" posts number,* and don't want to spoil it.
> 
> I can keep posting about my hobbies.


Seems like I may have Bach-xed myself in!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

How many rural areas can you name...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

jdec said:


> Is there any Debussy and Rachmaninov influences in Beethoven's piano sonatas? did Beethoven hold in high regard these wonderful composers?


I thought Cage had a more captivating influence on Beethoven............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> How many rural areas can you name...


Nhill 
https://www.travelvictoria.com.au/nhill/


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Seems like I may have Bach-xed myself in!


 into a Cage!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> How many countries can you name where a metal band was arrested?


You mean excluding Antarctica, I hear plenty got a chilly reception there.....................


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

But is that even a country? Maybe a rural area but there's no police \m/


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> But is that even a country? Maybe a rural area but there's no police \m/


Your forgetting Team Americaa


----------



## hpowders

Deleted post.


----------



## Jacred

How do you sort your CDs? I have one CD and I can't find where it is.


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your forgetting Team Americaa


The Crook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Are you an expert in STI?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Are you an expert in STI?


Yes. I have a button. I proudly wear it on my belly every day.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> How do you sort your CDs? I have one CD and I can't find where it is.


I have it. How much Bitcoin you got?


----------



## Vaneyes

In light of yesterday's Breaking News. 

*Who's been the worst treated at TC? *


----------



## Vaneyes

Leave toilet lid up. Leave toilet lid down. Don't care.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Leave toilet lid up. Leave toilet lid down. Don't care.


Is your real name Jimmy Crack Corn...changed from Jimmy Crack Kornberg?


----------



## Bettina

You know you're a musician when...

Someone asks you "what's your favorite bar?" and you reply "bar seven of the Eroica symphony."


----------



## Bettina

A companion thread to Current Listening: which composers are you currently ignoring?


----------



## Art Rock

Will counterpoint exercise make me lose weight?


----------



## hpowders

Help wanted:

Seeking pretty piano teacher to help me with my fingerings.


----------



## hpowders

Bartok or Ravel or Stravinsky or Boulez or Mahler or Brahms or Pleyel or Tartini or Clementi or Scriabin or Puccini or Rameau?


----------



## Vaneyes

Media: Good; No good; Don't care.


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Help wanted:
> 
> Seeking pretty piano teacher to help me with my fingerings.


*
"Reminds me of a medical opinion, but I'll abstain."

*


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Media: Good; No good; Don't care.


What him worry?


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> *
> "Reminds me of a medical opinion, but I'll abstain."
> 
> *


 This pic. is adding a crescendo to my subtly implied innuendo.


----------



## Blancrocher

Breaking down 4'33''--using all generally accepted units of measurement.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

4'33'' at the Quantum level


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How long until DT gets the DTs


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Do you think Beethoven made the right career choice?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Poll: Do you think Beethoven made the right career choice?


a deaf Napoleon..............................


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> a deaf Napoleon..............................


A dead Napoleon :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Who's more emotional - BTO or Queen


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Mention a masterpiece that starts with a P...


----------



## Vaneyes

Orange hair, gray hair, man bun, no hair, don't care.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Orange hair, gray hair, man bun, no hair, don't care.


Amazing what they can do with wigs these days


----------



## Vaneyes

Spoiled brat, adorable child, Damien Thorn.


----------



## Guest

What are the best pieces for unprepared piano?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kontrapunctus said:


> What are the best pieces for unprepared piano?


Hammers. saws or drills


----------



## hpowders

Whose more emotional, hpowders or Brahms?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Hammers. saws or drills


Planes, trains, automobiles.


----------



## hpowders

Which kind of syrup reminds you of composers?

For me, Stravinsky is cough syrup.

Ives is maple syrup.

Bruckner is simple syrup.

How 'bout you?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Varese is Cognac syrup


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Varese is Cognac syrup


Tchaikovsky is Cossack syrup.


----------



## hpowders

Stupid binding classical music contracts you are involved in:

Stupidly, I signed this:

"As a poster, you serve at the pleasure of the President."


----------



## hpowders

My first classical concert in 30 years:

Hi! Just got out of jail. Murdered all my relatives at Thanksgiving Dinner Bach in November, 1987.

Oh. I almost forgot! It was an all Lang Lang concert!


----------



## hpowders

As a 24/7 TC poster, do you feel you made the correct career choice?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> As a 24/7 TC poster, do you feel you made the correct career choice?


Yes! As I said in another thread, we should all publish books of our TC posts. They would definitely be best-sellers!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who is your favourite BOT poster on STI


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes! As I said in another thread, we should all publish books of our TC posts. They would definitely be best-sellers!


I don't have enough paper.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Who is your favourite BOT poster on STI


Bobby Bot. Once you get to know him, he will insist you call him Rob Bot.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I don't have enough paper.


Quick lets buy share in trees


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Quick lets buy share in trees


Heh! Heh! It's all about supply and demand, mein sohn!!

I will clear out the forests and replace them with la-tree-ns. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Mozart's Prague Symphony or Hershey's Kisses?


----------



## hpowders

Für Coat or Für Elise?

Which do you prefer and which is simply good Für Notung?


----------



## hpowders

Technical Support:

Some posters are trolling me. Can I get an order of protection against them. If not, does TC run a Bodyguard Service? I'll pay!!!


----------



## hpowders

TC Cruise. Twelve Days, featuring all 555 $carlatti $onatas on a continuous loop.

Strangely, plenty of reservations still available.


----------



## Bettina

Name the four _least _important works from each musical period.


----------



## Bettina

Poll: Mozart's Tragic or Mahler's Jupiter? Which work is harder to imagine?


----------



## Bettina

Poll: which composer was best at writing fast pieces? In other words, who was the best rushin' composer?


----------



## Bettina

On days when you're too busy to post on TC, do you hire a substitute to post for you?


----------



## Bettina

Does your car reflect your classical music tastes? If you love Beethoven, do you drive a van? If you love sonatas, do you drive a Hyundai Sonata?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> On days when you're too busy to post on TC, do you hire a substitute to post for you?


I have a Bot available for hire at reasonable rates - bitcoin preferred................


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Name the four _least _important works from each musical period.


Some periods are less sock-cessful than others, as there were bloody wars interfering with musical creativity.

I'm racking my brains out to find one from Spain, around 1500.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Does your car reflect your classical music tastes? If you love Beethoven, do you drive a van? If you love sonatas, do you drive a Hyundai Sonata?


I drive a Pathetiquely expensive to repair BMW, so I'm digging Tchaikovsky.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have a Bot available for hire at reasonable rates - bitcoin preferred................


Can you please restore my computer to the way it was? I'll gladly pay you Friday for computer access today.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> On days when you're too busy to post on TC, do you hire a substitute to post for you?


Sounds like a new job category....and stupid me was about to enter Harvard Law School!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: which composer was best at writing fast pieces? In other words, who was the best rushin' composer?


Well I know that Stalin caused Shostakovich to be perhaps rushin' his compositions from nervousness.


----------



## hpowders

Area 51:

Being that I have a "Classical Music Expert" button, if I send you a photocopy of the button, will that bump me up to TC Premium Membership, with lifetime free access to all the subforums?

P.S. I have no access to photoshop. The button: "what you see, is what you get."


----------



## hpowders

Found in a Tampa attic:

An authentic note from Beethoven!!!

Translated from the German:

"Can I become hpowders?"


----------



## hpowders

Do you think you made the correct career choice, Community Forum poster, instead of Classical Music Discussion Forum poster?


----------



## hpowders

TC English Language Department:

Post no. 1: Why is it, except for the Saudi King, that every foreign leader speaks English more fluently than the President of the United States?


----------



## hpowders

Rice Czechs, Wheat Czechs or Dvorak?


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> TC English Language Department:
> 
> Post no. 1: Why is it, except for the Saudi King, that every foreign leader speaks English more fluently than the President of the United States?


This is just too sad to be funny ....


----------



## millionrainbows

*Your Favorite Mahler Piano Sonatas*


----------



## millionrainbows

*John Cage on Mushrooms*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Child Abuse and Mozart: He Really Wanted to be a Tap-Dancer*


----------



## Bettina

New TC subforum: Current Sneering. Which composers are you currently mocking?


----------



## millionrainbows

*I Really Like This Music: Now Ridicule Me*


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What are your 10 favorite Smurf-songs?


----------



## Bettina

If you could give a diacritical mark to any composer, who would you choose and what would the mark be?

I would choose to give Mozařt a Czech-style ř, in honor of his Prague Symphony.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If you could give a diacritical mark to any composer, who would you choose and what would the mark be?
> 
> I would choose to give Mozařt a Czech-style ř, in honor of his Prague Symphony.


That's my favorite/favourite/best/finest/highest rated/most incredible/ Mozart Symphony.


----------



## Pat Fairlea

I would give Chopin an Irish fada over the 'i' to make his name 'Shop-een'. Just for the craic, you understand.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Can you please restore my computer to the way it was? I'll gladly pay you Friday for computer access today.


I'll send my best Wombat Bot to restore your computer right away - he specialises to turn off/ turn on emergencies and is very good at chewing thru the hardest cables........... That will be 88888 bitcoin thanks


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'll send my best Wombat Bot to restore your computer right away - he specialises to turn off/ turn on emergencies and is very good at chewing thru the hardest cables........... That will be 88888 bitcoin thanks


I think I see it now...there's a Bot in my Belfry.

"Oh Waldstein!! Can you please get it down from there....and while you're at it, get me a slice of potent rumcake and a clean sock."

"And see if you can find a CD of Ravel's Bolero and put it on. No! No! NOT the sock!! The Bolero CD, idiot!!!"


----------



## hpowders

Which are you?

Tristan und Isolde's follower or Tristan und Isolde's stalker?


----------



## Scopitone

What Opera are you currently NOT listening to?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> What are your 10 favorite Smurf-songs?


Number 1 is the Papa Haydn Smurf song


----------



## Bettina

Poll: best concerto for ear trumpet


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Poll: best concerto for ear trumpet


I'm sure dizzy would have been up to it


----------



## Pugg

Scopitone said:


> What Opera are you currently NOT listening to?


I can give you a list as long as my arm.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Composers you would sleep with their music playing quietly in the background


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> What Opera are you currently NOT listening to?


ALL of them!! I've become an anti-opera fanatic!!!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Poll: best concerto for ear trumpet


Yes. I wax nostalgia for the good old ear trumpet days.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> ALL of them!! I've become an anti-opera fanatic!!!


Good job!

at being a philistine


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Good job!
> 
> at being a philistine


I notice the anti-opera tickets are much cheaper than the real deal.


----------



## Vaneyes

Favorite Wall: Berlin; China; Western; Mexico; Art; Other.

*
"Make Mexico pay for it."

*


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Favorite Wall: Berlin; China; Western; Mexico; Art; Other.
> 
> *
> "Make Mexico pay for it."
> 
> *


Perhaps there's a pretty young woman on the other side?


----------



## millionrainbows

*Sliding Valve Ear Trumpets and Resonant Frequencies*


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Favorite Wall: Berlin; China; Western; Mexico; Art; Other.
> 
> *
> "Make Mexico pay for it."
> 
> *


President Trump demonstrating that Middle East peace is a long reach.


----------



## hpowders

TC Nominating List Committee:

List each country on earth, and list the best composer from each and your favorite work from each too.

Latest nominee lists close on 5/24/2017 at midnight, TCDT. No excuses for being late!!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> TC Nominating List Committee:
> 
> List each country on earth, and list the best composer from each and your favorite work from each too.
> 
> Latest nominee lists close on 5/24/2017 at midnight, TCDT. No excuses for being late!!


I'm actually going to do this! :lol: But I won't do every country - I'll just do the ones where I know something about the music of that country.

Germany - Beethoven: Emperor Concerto
Austria - Mozart: Jupiter Symphony
France - Debussy: La Mer
Poland - Chopin: Barcarolle
Czech Republic - Dvořák: Symphony No. 9, "New World"
United States - Gershwin: Rhapsody in Blue
Hungary - Liszt: Sonata in B Minor
Italy - Monteverdi: Orfeo
England - Elgar: Enigma Variations
Belgium - Franck: Violin Sonata in A Major
Spain - Falla: Nights in the Gardens of Spain
Netherlands - Sweelinck: Hexachord Fantasia
Brazil - Villa-Lobos: Bachianas Brasilieras
Russia - Tchaikovsky: Symphony No. 6, "Pathetique"
Armenia - Khachaturian: Violin Concerto
Norway - Grieg: Piano Concerto in A Minor
Finland - Sibelius: Violin Concerto in D Minor
Denmark - Nielsen: Violin Concerto Op. 33
Estonia - Tubin: Balalaika Concerto
Turkey - Say: Black Earth
Ukraine - Glière: Symphony No. 3, "Ilya Muromets"


----------



## Jacred

If food was music...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm actually going to do this! :lol: But I won't do every country - I'll just do the ones where I know something about the music of that country.
> 
> Germany - Beethoven: Emperor Concerto
> Austria - Mozart: Jupiter Symphony
> France - Debussy: La Mer
> Poland - Chopin: Barcarolle
> Czech Republic - Dvořák: Symphony No. 9, "New World"
> United States - Gershwin: Rhapsody in Blue
> Hungary - Liszt: Sonata in B Minor
> Italy - Monteverdi: Orfeo
> England - Elgar: Enigma Variations
> Belgium - Franck: Violin Sonata in A Major
> Spain - Falla: Nights in the Gardens of Spain
> Netherlands - Sweelinck: Hexachord Fantasia
> Brazil - Villa-Lobos: Bachianas Brasilieras
> Russia - Tchaikovsky: Symphony No. 6, "Pathetique"
> Armenia - Khachaturian: Violin Concerto
> Norway - Grieg: Piano Concerto in A Minor
> Finland - Sibelius: Violin Concerto in D Minor
> Denmark - Nielsen: Violin Concerto Op. 33
> Estonia - Tubin: Balalaika Concerto
> Turkey - Say: Black Earth
> Ukraine - Glière: Symphony No. 3, "Ilya Muromets"


Submitted to the committee.


----------



## hpowders

"Hi. I'm new here at Anderson Middle School fifth grade. My name is Ilya Muromets. Will I still be alive in June?


----------



## laurie

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composers you would sleep with their music playing quietly in the background











Yes, & yes.


----------



## Scopitone

Bettina said:


> I'm actually going to do this! :lol: But I won't do every country - I'll just do the ones where I know something about the music of that country.
> 
> Germany - Beethoven: Emperor Concerto
> Austria - Mozart: Jupiter Symphony
> France - Debussy: La Mer
> Poland - Chopin: Barcarolle
> Czech Republic - Dvořák: Symphony No. 9, "New World"
> United States - Gershwin: Rhapsody in Blue
> Hungary - Liszt: Sonata in B Minor
> Italy - Monteverdi: Orfeo
> England - Elgar: Enigma Variations
> Belgium - Franck: Violin Sonata in A Major
> Spain - Falla: Nights in the Gardens of Spain
> Netherlands - Sweelinck: Hexachord Fantasia
> Brazil - Villa-Lobos: Bachianas Brasilieras
> Russia - Tchaikovsky: Symphony No. 6, "Pathetique"
> Armenia - Khachaturian: Violin Concerto
> Norway - Grieg: Piano Concerto in A Minor
> Finland - Sibelius: Violin Concerto in D Minor
> Denmark - Nielsen: Violin Concerto Op. 33
> Estonia - Tubin: Balalaika Concerto
> Turkey - Say: Black Earth
> Ukraine - Glière: Symphony No. 3, "Ilya Muromets"


You KNOW you made some of those up.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> "Hi. I'm new here at Anderson Middle School fifth grade. My name is Ilya Muromets. Will I still be alive in June?


What's your favorite opera, Ilya?

Also, welcome.


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> You KNOW you made some of those up.


I swear that I am telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!! If you look up these pieces on Google, you'll see that they are all real. :lol:


----------



## Scopitone

Bettina said:


> I swear that I am telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!! If you look up these pieces on Google, you'll see that they are all real. :lol:


I'm talking about the countries.

"Estonia"? Really?


----------



## Pugg

laurie said:


> View attachment 94621
> 
> 
> Yes, & yes.


Ouch .....that's not healthy unless you mean the time he was living in.


----------



## Bettina

Stupid music anagram:

Eroica Symphony: Can my sire hop? Oy!


----------



## Bettina

Johann's Well Tempered Clavier: John's* dream piece! Tell Van Lew...**

*John is the anglicized form of Johann
**Van Lew refers to Beethoven, as in Louis van Beethoven (the French form of his name)


----------



## Bettina

O! Tristan und Isolde: Lo! Nude, tan, I stir sod.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Bach is the perfect wife. Discuss.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

your fav alien composer


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> your fav alien composer


The Kelly Family :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Composers you would sleep with their music playing quietly in the background


If you need their music playing in the Bach-ground, something's wrong. Take B-12 shots.

And then again, perhaps it's a Tad late for that, Mr. Lincoln.


----------



## Bettina

Another classical music anagram:

Don Giovanni - Go in, vain Don!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite memorable music moments:

Thirty second theme of Mahler's Eighth Symphony.

Why? It's memorable.


----------



## millionrainbows

Pugg said:


> Ouch .....that's not healthy unless you mean the time he was living in.


I'm so *sick* of zombies!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> I'm so *sick* of zombies!


For breakfast, lunch or Dinner?


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> For breakfast, lunch or Dinner?


Well, maybe…if they're kosher.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> For breakfast, lunch or Dinner?


Sunday brunch is best.....Rúmcake à/la Zómbie....all you can eat.


----------



## hpowders

Who was the best coffee-drinking composer before Bach, but not after Schumann?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Cofeeart, see simple


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Cofeeart, see simple


Yeah. Simple. Thanks, Simon.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Another classical music anagram:
> 
> Don Giovanni - Go in, vain Don!


Sounds like this gal's Dad when I brought her home after a date. No comma.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

I have a stupid thread idea: Wool or cotton, a mix, or anything else.


----------



## JeffD

Stupid Thread Idea: Dating advice for guys who like Ravel's Bolero.


----------



## Bettina

When you click "like" for a Current Listening post, is it usually because you like:

1. The composer(s) on the CD
2. The performer(s)
3. The cover art
4. The TC member himself (or herself, as the case may be)


----------



## laurie

Bettina said:


> When you click "like" for a Current Listening post, is it usually because you like:
> 
> 1. The composer(s) on the CD
> 2. The performer(s)
> 3. The cover art
> 4. The TC member himself (or herself, as the case may be)


or -
5. All of the above!


----------



## laurie

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I have a stupid thread idea: Wool or cotton, a mix, or anything else.


Finally - a sewing thread!


----------



## laurie

JeffD said:


> Stupid Thread Idea: Dating advice for guys who like Ravel's Bolero.


Find a date who also likes Bolero.


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> Sunday brunch is best.....Rúmcake à/la Zómbie....all you can eat.


:lol: _Again_ with the rum cake?!


----------



## Bettina

laurie said:


> :lol: _Again_ with the rum cake?!


It's becoming a Wagnerian Leitmotif!! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

You know you're spending too much time on TC when...

You write an email to someone and you accidentally sign it with your username instead of your real name.

True confession: that almost happened to me just now! I wrote an email to the chairperson for an upcoming student recital, and I found myself typing "Best, Bettina" at the end. Then I quickly noticed my mistake and put in my real name instead!! :lol:


----------



## laurie

Bettina said:


> You know you're spending too much time on TC when...
> 
> You write an email to someone and you accidentally sign it with your username instead of your real name.
> 
> True confession: that almost happened to me just now! I wrote an email to the chairperson for an upcoming student recital, and I found myself typing "Best, Bettina" at the end. Then I quickly noticed my mistake and put in my real name instead!! :lol:


That's why my username_ is_ my real name .... I'm too easily confused ! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

I'm listening to a CD of Haydn piano trios and it suddenly got stuck on repeating one chord. At first I thought "wow, Haydn was way ahead of his time, anticipating the style of minimalism" and then I realized that there was probably a scratch on the CD!


----------



## laurie

Bettina said:


> It's becoming a Wagnerian Leitmotif!! :lol:


To be played on a sackbut, of course!


----------



## hpowders

Can you listen to music and eat rum cake at the same time?

Share your stories with your beloved invisible community.


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> Can you listen to music and eat rum cake at the same time?
> 
> Share your stories with your beloved invisible community.


Sure, _listening_ while rum-caking is easy .... but can you_ play_ music at the same time?
(on a sackbut, for example?)


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> :lol: _Again_ with the rum cake?!


Complaining about free entertainment? If there was a $75 cover charge, okay....


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> Sure, _listening_ while rum-caking is easy .... but can you_ play_ music at the same time?
> (on a sackbut, for example?)


I've never tried that. I need no aural stimulation.


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> You want free entertainment, you suck it up and deal with it.


!
:lol::lol: As usual, you crack me up, hpowders!
(I guess you're my favorite crack-pot!  :kiss: )


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> !
> :lol::lol: As usual, you crack me up, hpowders!
> (I guess you're my favorite crack-pot!  :kiss: )


Thank you. Now I feel a little better. We artists are sensitive about criticism of our work.


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> Thank you. Now I feel a little better. We artists are sensitive about criticism of our work.


Yes, I see that .... you changed your post about changing your post before I could respond! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> Yes, I see that .... you changed your post about changing your post before I could respond! :lol:


If I don't get a response, within a reasonable amount of time, I feel something is wrong with the post, so I go back and "enhance" the post. That is basically what I originally wrote about.

I constantly revise my posts. Can always be better.

Brahms and I. Always throwing stuff away. Never satisfied.

(In Brooklyn, it's "Brahms and me").


----------



## laurie

hpowders said:


> If I don't get a response, within a reasonable amount of time, I feel something is wrong with the post, so I go back and "enhance" the post. That is basically what I originally wrote about.
> 
> I constantly revise my posts. Can always be better.
> 
> Brahms and I. Always throwing stuff away. Never satisfied.


I have to respect a man who takes his responsibilities as TC's pithiest, punniest poster so seriously. :tiphat:

(Ahh! I just noticed that you added to this post between when I _clicked_ reply, & _wrote _this reply! Geez, you're fast! :lol: )


----------



## hpowders

laurie said:


> I have to respect a man who takes his responsibilities as TC's pithiest, punniest poster so seriously. :tiphat:
> 
> (Ahh! I just noticed that you added to this post between when I _clicked_ reply, & _wrote _this reply! Geez, you're fast! :lol: )


Thanks. I can hit those keys! 

"Respect". Thanks! Reminds me, when I was 20, I was going steady and I asked her why did she like me....and she answered, "youuuuuu respect me!" It sort of felt like I got no answer. :lol:


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Fifty Shades of Composers


----------



## hpowders

TC Old Posters Forum:

Please help me remember my name!!


----------



## hpowders

Your top 10 naturalized American composers


----------



## hpowders

TC name choosing forum:

Help me choose the name of my daughter:

Harmony, Dissonance or Chastity?

She's 22 today, by the way.


----------



## hpowders

My favorite obscure posters!

Post no.1: Help me remember their names!!


----------



## hpowders

The best "random thoughts and discoveries" Poll:

Of the following 2700, choose your 3 favorites to get to the final round.


----------



## hpowders

Mahler vs. Shostakovich: The final battle of bleakness!!

One time only! TC pay per view! Kicks and punches! Call your cable company!!!


----------



## Scopitone

Composers You Wouldn't Even Play for Your Dog


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> mahler vs. Shostakovich: The final battle of bleakness!!
> 
> One time only! Tc pay per view! Kicks and punches! Call your cable company!!!


Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: Composers Who Look Best in a Bikini


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Help me buy a camel.


----------



## Vaneyes

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Help me buy a camel.


Filtered, Unfiltered, Don't care.


----------



## Vaneyes

Travel ban; All access pass; Cocooning; Don't care.


----------



## Vaneyes

Scopitone said:


> Poll: Composers Who Look Best in a Bikini


Kimberly Kardashian, US composer.


----------



## Vaneyes

Scopitone said:


> Composers You Wouldn't Even Play for Your Dog


----------



## Vaneyes

Ransomware; Ready to wear; Underwear; Don't care.


----------



## millionrainbows

…red silk underwear.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Kimberly Kardashian, US composer.


1. She hates classical music.

2. Who cares?

3. Now I remember why I was put on this earth.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Vaneyes said:


> Kimberly Kardashian, US composer.


That's ugly. Put it back.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement: 

The popular Rock group, The Mighty Handful, will be appearing Sunday night at the Boston Red Socks baseball game.

Tickets at the Bachs office.


----------



## hpowders

Which do you prefer?

1. Classical music in the summer.

2. Classical music in medium-sized cities.

3. Classical music in hamlet towns.

4. Classical music in pueblo villages

5. Classical music in snowy, wintry areas


----------



## hpowders

Name change please!!

I would like to change from hpowders to hpowDers, because it reflects my undergraduate college average.


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Composer favorites that nobody has ever heard of

PLEASE!!! Do not choose more than four. It screws up the research standard deviation (that's statistical analysis language).


----------



## hpowders

Do people who hate classical music prefer living near the Mediterranean Sea rather than the North Atlantic Ocean?


----------



## hpowders

Message to administration:

I know you do name changes. Can you recommend me to a kind of Dr. who worked on Bruce Jenner, since you are familiar with changes?


----------



## hpowders

TC FBI Section:

I'm eating out at the Russian Tea Room adjacent to Carnegie Hall tonight. Should I cancel and go to a deli instead? I'm worried about being investigated about a possible Russian conection.


----------



## hpowders

Signs that Donald Trump is your president:

You know Donald Trump is your president when your first post on TC is, "Hi!!" and you get investigated by the Justice Department Illegal Drug Division.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Kimberly Kardashian, US composer.


You know Melania Trump has been eating out too much when she looks in the mirror and sees "this".


----------



## hpowders

The TC quote verifying department:

My potential frat. brothers asked me to verify this with you as part of my pledge week assignments:

Mozart to Haydn: "Isn't it so great, living in the past the way we do?"

So, this happened, right?


----------



## Bettina

I remember reading a quote by Beethoven where he referred to himself as modern...and I thought to myself, "gee, he sure was deluded! He didn't even know that he was living in the past." :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: Are third-rate German composers still a lot better than second-rate French composers?

Not trying to start a fight.
Just trying to do what's right.
With all my might.


----------



## hpowders

Whom do you prefer: revolutionary composers or pacifist composers?

Discuss what war-ranted your choice.


----------



## hpowders

Honoring Vets for Memorial Day:

When coming Bach from _war,_ who _saw_ the_ concerto_ performance by Hilary Hahn?


----------



## hpowders

Given what we know about Tchaikovsky, wouldn't it have been more apropos for his tone poem to have been called Romeo and Julio?


----------



## hpowders

You know you are young:

1. When you must show ID every time you post

2. When you are denied entrance to the mature TC sub-forums

3. When your favorite films are Disney cartoons

4. When you have no time to post because you must study for the third grade entrance exam

5. When you have to ask your mommy who Charles Munch was


----------



## hpowders

Classical music newbie here.

I want to learn some Bach. Anyone know where I can purchase a sweet cello?


----------



## hpowders

Which was Stravinsky's best period? The Russian Period or the Posthumous Period?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Which was Stravinsky's best period? The Russian Period or the Posthumous Period?


Funny you should mention periods - I was just posting about that very topic in another thread. What a spooky coincidence! Are you reading my mind, or am I reading yours?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Funny you should mention periods - I was just posting about that very topic in another thread. What a spooky coincidence! Are you reading my mind, or am I reading yours?


Truly unintentional. The small world we live in. Yes. I noticed, Ms. Grossman. I have to go lie down now.


----------



## hpowders

TC complaint department:

Hey! Wassup?? I attempted to vote three different times on a poll to fairly even things out but I was denied past the first time.
In Florida we can always vote as many times as we want to. It doesn't matter.

Can you change the poll voting rules on TC?


----------



## dillonp2020

How does one go about creating a sub-forum for mocking others?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

It's the middle of the night...What time is it?


----------



## Pugg

dillonp2020 said:


> How does one go about creating a sub-forum for mocking others?


Rule one: lets do a poll first.


----------



## hpowders

Dear Poster A:

In keeping with the charitable nature of the holiday weekend, we are downgrading the threat of you being banned from TC from "critical" to "severe".


----------



## hpowders

Announcement: Dvorak is being downgraded from composer of the second rank to composer of the third rank due to the difficulty of having to add more than one accent mark to his name.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite eight slow movements of all-time.

Post no. 1: Newbie here!

1. Adagio
2. Adagietto
3. Largo 
4. Larghetto
5. Lento
6. Lentetto
7. Sarabande
8. Sarabandetto

Thanks! How'd I do?

Sanford Bennedetto


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Hace we reachec peak STI - we need to start a cartel!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Hace we reachec peak STI - we need to start a cartel!


Dona nobis hacem!!! A Mass-ive mistake!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

433 Hz versus 432 Hz


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 433 Hz versus 432 Hz


Thanks for your in-put.

Dick Hz


----------



## Bettina

New TC rule:

Any member who omits the diacritical marks from composers' names will receive an infraction. Repeated typing of "Dvorak," "Saint-Saens" and "Janacek" will ultimately result in a permanent ban from TC.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> New TC rule:
> 
> Any member who omits the diacritical marks from composers' names will receive an infraction. Repeated typing of "Dvorak," "Saint-Saens" and "Janacek" will ultimately result in a permanent ban from TC.


Then ban me now! I won't do it.

Sincerely yours,

Dick Hz

PS: Lucky that Antonin didn't commit suicide having to put those dumb things on top.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Then ban me now! I won't do it.
> 
> Sincerely yours,
> 
> Dick Hz


Sounds like your going cycling on your own Hz


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sounds like your going cycling on your own Hz


No way. You think I am a söcker?


----------



## hpowders

So I just wrote my first symphony. Where can I have it galvanized? Do priests do that with water?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> So I just wrote my first symphony. Where can I have it galvanized? Do priests do that with water?


You sure you have the right coat for that?


----------



## hpowders

So who would lose a race between Schubert & Beethoven? Who would move the slowest?


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: So are all piano sonatas obbligatoed by violins?


----------



## hpowders

If Saileri wasn't responsible, who was responsible? Someone must have been responsible. Not admitting it is so irrresponsible!


----------



## hpowders

Your mighty handful:

What is the maximum number of individual CDs you can hold in one hand?


----------



## hpowders

Do you like this opera song? No. 678,056:

Post no. 1: Bump!! Come on now people, this song is terrific, by Mrs. Sarah Pearlfischer. A little participation here!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Your mighty handful:
> 
> What is the maximum number of individual CDs you can hold in one hand?


All depends on the price- picked up quite a few the other day when found shop selling classical CD's for $2 bucks a pop


----------



## Bettina

Was Zozart responsible for Salieri's death?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Was Zozart responsible for Salieri's death?


I have it on good authority


----------



## Bettina

List your top ten favorite composers with diacritical marks in their last names. Here's my list:

1. Händel (hey, he had his umlaut for the first 25 years of his life, so he counts!)
2. Dvořák 
3. Fauré 
4. Saint-Saëns
5. Bartók 
6. Janáček 
7. Martinů 
8. Kodály 
9. Séverac 
10. Schütz


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Mozart: 433 vs Beethoven 433


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Worst Rock Drummer of all Time


----------



## Blancrocher

*Pull*

In this thread I'd just like everyone to pull-without all the incessant complaining and hand-wringing about limited options, morality, etc.


----------



## Dim7

*Schubert or Beethoven? slow movements*

Post animated gifs or videos of either Beethoven or Schubert moving very slowly.


----------



## Portamento

Worst wife of Henry VIII.


----------



## Vaneyes

Dui, iud, udi, idu, diu.


----------



## Vaneyes

Cellulite, socialite, expedite, galleryite, plebiscite, meteorite.


----------



## hpowders

Technical Area:

I want my posts exclusively on a sub-forum away from every one else. So how long will this take?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> List your top ten favorite composers with diacritical marks in their last names. Here's my list:
> 
> 1. Händel (hey, he had his umlaut for the first 25 years of his life, so he counts!)
> 2. Dvořák
> 3. Fauré
> 4. Saint-Saëns
> 5. Bartók
> 6. Janáček
> 7. Martinů
> 8. Kodály
> 9. Séverac
> 10. Schütz


Why möst you do this to me? You know I can't Händel these marks. I can critically di from acute accent exposure.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Portamento said:


> Worst wife of Henry VIII.


Wasn't that the Kardashian one - Queen bigend


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Poll

Lets have a poll on whether we should have a separate Pollish polls subforum, then we can also consider whether they can be polished after posting


----------



## Bettina

Should poll dancing take place in a separate forum?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Should poll dancing take place in a separate forum?


As long as its to Polkas, it should be ok


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> As long as its to *Polkas*, it should be ok


Goodbye, Mr. Chips.


----------



## hpowders

Do lovers of classical music prefer to have their CDs galvanized before playing them?


----------



## hpowders

Which do you favor/favour: (Choose up to six)

1. Wild strawberries

2. Luden's wild cherry cough drops

3. Wild parties

4. Wild Shostakovich

5. Wild blueberries

6. Wild girlfriends

7. Animals in the wild


----------



## hpowders

Was TC responsible for hpowders' migraine headache which began in December, 2013?


----------



## hpowders

I am a good looking 27 year old male, who hangs out at expensive hotels.

So is it too late for a gigolo to take up the piccolo?


----------



## hpowders

I'm moving to another house tomorrow.

Can someone put together some good classical moving music for me, about three hours worth?


----------



## hpowders

Speaking of Tchaikovsky:

Raise your hand if you are not currently being investigated by the FBI for Russian collusion.

I count three....


----------



## hpowders

Is a date with Kim Kardashian really worth 6,000,000 euros?

Hurry!!

Also, while I have you here.....is it true that Salieri murdered Mozart for 41 euros?


----------



## Portamento

wut if donald trump wass a composer???


----------



## Bettina

Portamento said:


> wut if donald trump wass a composer???


I wish he were! That way, he'd be busy writing symphonies and he'd have no time to interfere in US politics. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

If Donald Trump was a composer he would write in those damn slides and portamentos that we have tried so hard to get rid of....all those superficial tricks to cover up the fact that there is nothing there of substance.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> If Donald Trump was a composer he would write in those damn slides and portamentos that we have tried so hard to get rid of.


Yeah, Trump is a pretty slippery fellow...


----------



## hpowders

Portamento said:


> wut if donald trump wass a composer???


He would get a facelift to look just like Max Reger....a smart looking person.

Much better than that dumb, lost little boy look.


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> He would get a facelift to look just like Max Reger....a smart looking person.
> 
> Much better than that dumb, lost little boy look.


Looking like one of those evil, very evil Germans? No way!


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> Looking like one of those evil, very evil Germans? No way!


Max Reger? Evil, no. Boring, yes.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, Trump is a pretty slippery fellow...


I'm sure if you mentioned "Portamento" to him, he'd say. "How late is it open? Let's get some Veal Parmigiana."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Portamento said:


> wut if donald trump wass a composer???


Would he be a minimalist modern composer or a romantic era guy, who would make composing great again?


----------



## Portamento

"Atonality is a hoax created by the Austrians to secure an unfair compositional advantage."


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Would he be a minimalist modern composer* or a romantic era guy, who would make composing great again?


There's nothing minimalist about Trump (except maybe his brain!!) :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> There's nothing minimalist about Trump (except maybe his brain!!) :lol:


That's why his dad didn't name him Max.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Portamento said:


> "Atonality is a hoax created by the Austrians to secure an unfair compositional advantage."


Is that also why they gave us Arnold Schwarzenegger


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

what is your unholy grail among your records?


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is that also why they gave us Arnold Schwarzenegger


Well, Schoenberg certainly did terminate tonality!! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I wish he were! That way, he'd be busy writing symphonies and he'd have no time to interfere in US politics. :lol:


I couldn't conceive of Trump ever expressing himself artistically. It's not just the miniscule brain power, but there seems to be no human feeling inside. I once had a boss like that-no feelings, no empathy. A hollow human being. Scary stuff.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I couldn't conceive of Trump ever expressing himself artistically. It's not just the miniscule brain power, but there seems to be no human feeling inside. I once had a boss like that-no feelings, no empathy. Scary stuff.


So just your average accountant.............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> So just your average accountant.............


No. He was my supervisor in the High School chemistry department and all the teachers hated him.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> No. He was my supervisor in the High School chemistry department and all the teachers hated him.


So not like this then.........


----------



## Bettina

Pieces that you've ruined for other people


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Pieces that you've ruined for other people


Yes, you would have something to list for that!

Also, "True confessions of TC members' underwear drawers: Gesualdo wants to raid my panties!"





hpowders said:


> No. He was my supervisor in the High School chemistry department and all the teachers hated him.


So you are saying that the two of you had bad chemistry? Was he a base and you an acid? Was his pH balance off? Did he fail the litmus paper test? Ok, I'll stop now! :tiphat:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yes, you would have something to list for that!
> 
> Also, "True confessions of TC members' underwear drawers: Gesualdo wants to raid my panties!"


Haha, yes, I proudly wear my title as the TC Queen of TMI! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Haha, yes, I proudly wear my title as the TC Queen of TMI! :lol:


Well, I must be the king of TMI then! That and the king of toilet humor! :devil: It's good to be the king, but I'm not so sure if it's good for everyone else! :lol:


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> Max Reger? Evil, no. Boring, yes.


Well, according to Trump, Germans are evil. I can just imagine his advisors and Pentagon big wigs gasping in horror: "Of course we do not trust the Germans, that is why we keep more troops over there than in the entire Middle East, but you are not supposed to actually TALK about it!"


----------



## Bettina

Whenever a new thread is started, everyone on TC wonders "how long will it take before Bettina, hpowders and Klassik turn this into a thread about underwear and socks?" :lol:


----------



## Ziggabea

Pieces that have ruined your life


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Worst Tossa Ever*

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tossa


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Pieces that you've ruined for other people


Do marriage certificates count?


----------



## hpowders

Was Salieri responsible for Shostakovich turning wild whenever he saw the full moon?


----------



## hpowders

Beautiful pictures to remind you of how mundane and depressing your life is.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Whenever a new thread is started, everyone on TC wonders "how long will it take before Bettina, hpowders and Klassik turn this into a thread about underwear and socks?" :lol:


Research shows about 5 milli-seconds.

Oh, that reminds me, I have to go get some self-absorbent sweat socks at Costco. Perhaps Socks Fifth Avenue still has some on sale for Memorial Day.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Research shows about 5 milli-seconds.
> 
> Oh, that reminds me, I have to go get some self-absorbent sweat socks at Costco. Perhaps Socks Fifth Avenue still has some on sale for Memorial Day.


Another weekend of wild socksakovich, huh?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Whenever a new thread is started, everyone on TC wonders "how long will it take before Bettina, hpowders and Klassik turn this into a thread about underwear and socks?" :lol:


:lol::lol:Another Klassik Bettina post!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Another weekend of wild socksakovich, huh?


I think someone on the main forum seems to think "wild" means depressing doom and gloom. Imagine his/her definition of "sad".


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I think someone on the main forum seems to think "wild" means depressing doom and gloom. Imagine his/her definition of "sad".


Odd word choice indeed. It's kind of like "happy sock." Is anyone happy if they have to use a sock?


----------



## Vaneyes

Foretell, Hotel, Motel, Hostel, Do tell, William Tell.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Foretell, Hotel, Motel, Hostel, Do tell, William Tell.


I bet you didn't even need a tel-e-prompter.


----------



## Klassik

Which TC member would win The Contest?

Seinfeld style of course: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Contest


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Which TC member would win The Contest?
> 
> Seinfeld style of course: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Contest


I would definitely lose that contest! As a pianist, I need to practice my fingering every day.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I would definitely lose that contest! As a pianist, I need to practice my fingering every day.


Of course! Which spot...err...keys need the most practice, G-Sharp, G-Flat or G? :lol:

I guess pianists have to avoid Corn Flakes, huh?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Of course! Which spot...err...keys need the most practice, G-Sharp, G-Flat or G? :lol:
> 
> I guess pianists have to avoid Corn Flakes, huh?


After studying many musical works, I've noticed that a lot of them reach a climax in the key of G. So, yes, that's the spot that needs extra attention when practicing!


----------



## Bettina

By the way, some of my neighbors enjoy eavesdropping on my piano practice sessions. The piano sounds have an interesting effect when they travel through the walls - it's like the sound of someone moaning! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> By the way, some of my neighbors enjoy eavesdropping on my piano practice sessions. The piano sounds have an interesting effect when they travel through the walls - it's like the sound of someone moaning! :lol:


So Beethoven never wrote the _Erotica_ symphony, but maybe he wrote an _Erotica_ piano sonata? Or is that what the Moonlight Sonata is supposed to be? :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

I've stopped eating corn because of recent tests which show that exposure to loud, dissonant music produces smaller ears of corn. This is the least I can do to support modern music. Think globally, act locally.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Current Listening: Beethoven: The Late, Late Rotten Zombie Quartets*


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> I've stopped eating corn because of recent tests which show that *exposure to loud, dissonant music produces smaller ears of corn*. This is the least I can do to support modern music. Think globally, act locally.


Wait, is this an euphemism? If so, I better stop listening to any loud, dissonant music! The ladies are counting on my "corn cob" to be all that it should be! :lol:

But, seriously, I have problems with corn. I like the taste of corn (no, this isn't an euphemism ) and I don't have any digestive problems because of it, but it seems like I poop it straight through without it breaking down. Personally, I don't like to see my dinner again after I swallow it! (Again, this is not an euphemism!)

Yeah, yeah, I am the king of TMI after all! Deal with it!


----------



## millionrainbows

Klassik said:


> But, seriously, I have problems with corn. I like the taste of corn...and I don't have any digestive problems because of it, but it seems like I poop it straight through without it breaking down. Personally, I don't like to see my dinner again after I swallow it! (Again, this is not an euphemism!)


I used to have that problem, until I started eating slower and chewing my food.

This reminds me of a woman who said she didn't like to take vitamins because "it makes my poop smell like vitamins." She was a real purist, apparently.


----------



## millionrainbows

Klassik said:


> Wait, is this an euphemism? If so, I better stop listening to any loud, dissonant music! The ladies are counting on my "corn cob" to be all that it should be!


If we extend this analogy (no pun intended), that might mean that modern music is less "crassly physical" than tonality, and produces stronger spiritual and cerebral reactions, resulting in a smaller, but sweeter ear.

Also, the solution to this dilemma might mean that modernists learn, by necessity, to please the ladies in _other ways_ that have less to do with "crass penetration" of the corn cob. This is classical, not rock and roll, so get with the program.


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> I used to have that problem, until I started eating slower and chewing my food.


I'm great at mastication, but it always seems like there are a few stray kernels that refuse to break down. Perhaps I should switch to creamed corn instead? :lol:



millionrainbows said:


> If we extend this analogy (no pun intended), that might mean that modern music is less "crassly physical" than tonality, and *produces stronger spiritual and cerebral reactions, resulting in a smaller, but sweeter ear.*


Will the ladies buy that atonal ears of corn are smaller, but sweeter? I've heard that size matters, not sweetness! Perhaps we should have a pole..err..poll on this corny matter - Green Giant or Little Nibblets? While we are at it, ask whether husks or no husks are preferred!


----------



## millionrainbows

Klassik said:


> I'm great at mastication, but it always seems like there are a few stray kernels that refuse to break down. Perhaps I should switch to creamed corn instead? :lol:


You're over-****-izing. Just simply close your eyes and flush.



Klassik said:


> Will the ladies buy that atonal ears of corn are smaller, but sweeter? I've heard that size matters, not sweetness!


No, size alone is simply crass physicality, with no real sensual repercussions other than simply adding more wear and tear. It looks good on film, but it ends there.

Apparently you are unaware of what is known as the "g-cob," a tiny, corn cob-shaped nodule which is sometimes called "the gateway to ecstasy and creamed corn". Refer to the manual "Women: Our Minds, Our Bodies, Our Vegetables".


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> You're over-****-izing. Just simply close your eyes and flush.


No can do! I always rate my work based on the Bristol Stool Scale. I'm always going for the sausage-like types 3 and 4!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale

There's no telling where Beethoven would have ranked with his Irritable Bowl Disease. Was it Type 7 watery or Type 1 "like nuts."



> Apparently you are unaware of what is known as the "g-cob," a tiny, corn cob-shaped nodule which is sometimes called "the gateway to ecstasy and creamed corn". Refer to the manual "Women: Our Minds, Our Bodies, Our Vegetables".


I must plead ignorance to this. Thanks for the information. I'll do my research and see if I can find the "g-cob." I'm desperately wanting to provide ecstasy and good creamed corn the next time I play a cornhole game!


----------



## millionrainbows

*Composer's Guestbook: The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!*


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Wait, is this an euphemism? If so, I better stop listening to any loud, dissonant music! The ladies are counting on my "corn cob" to be all that it should be! :lol:
> 
> But, seriously, I have problems with corn. I like the taste of corn (no, this isn't an euphemism ) and I don't have any digestive problems because of it, but it seems like I poop it straight through without it breaking down. Personally, I don't like to see my dinner again after I swallow it! (Again, this is not an euphemism!)
> 
> Yeah, yeah, I am the king of TMI after all! Deal with it!


The euphemism comes right after the baptism, no?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> The euphemism comes right after the baptism, no?


I believe the incense comes first. Well, unless Rachmaninoff is involved. Then, the incest comes first!


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> *Composer's Guestbook: The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!*


"Coming" in what sense?? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I believe the incense comes first. Well, unless Rachmaninoff is involved. Then, the incest comes first!


Confusing, but no more than most posts on TC.


----------



## hpowders

Giving away my Günter Wand Beethoven set. I refuse any names with ü.


----------



## hpowders

TC Car forum:

Took my car to the car wash to be galvanized. Looks exactly the same. Disappointed.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Talk about the snow that fell last year.


----------



## Vaneyes

Top 10 most galvanizing/exciting pieces of underwear.


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


> Top 10 most galvanizing/exciting pieces of underwear.


Beethoven: Boxers, briefs, or commando?

Personally, I always galvanize my codpieces.


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> Beethoven: Boxers, briefs, or commando?
> 
> Personally, I always galvanize my codpieces.


----------



## Bettina

Vaneyes said:


> Top 10 most galvanizing/exciting pieces of underwear.


Not sure how to answer this one...most of the excitement occurs after I take off my panties!!


----------



## Vaneyes

Input, output, dual force, don't care.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Not sure how to answer this one...most of the excitement occurs after I take off my panties!!


I tend to think that most of the excitement for me occurs after I take my underwear off, but everyone else seems to disagree with me. What am I doing wrong?


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> I tend to think that most of the excitement for me occurs after I take my underwear off, but everyone else seems to disagree with me. What am I doing wrong?


Noone's fault. It's just the way you are.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Foretell, Hotel, Motel, Hostel, Do tell, William Tell.


sound slike a billy joel lyric

He seems to be popular here.....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> *Composer's Guestbook: The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!*


No, they are just under the bed....


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Not sure how to answer this one...most of the excitement occurs after I take off my panties!!


You Tube video under............?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I tend to think that most of the excitement for me occurs after I take my underwear off, but everyone else seems to disagree with me. What am I doing wrong?


The problem is that you are Klassikally trained, when the rest of us have all moved forward and demand a bit Moore, Roger.


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> "Coming" in what sense?? :lol:


*The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming! Oh, God, The Russians Are Coming!*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> *The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming! Oh, God, The Russians Are Coming!*


Is that on Youtube too?


----------



## hpowders

Best feel-good music:

For me, it's Handel's Water Music, subtitled, "I couldn't care less if you drown!"


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is that on Youtube too?


Well, it's your choice, a Russian Dressing or Bettina.....

If you are indecisive, I will allow you to call a friend.

I already took my phone off the hook.


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


> Noone's fault. It's just the way you are. [/video]


Billy Joel? Are you saying that I didn't start the fire? Trust me, I know how to light those coals!


----------



## millionrainbows

*Post-Post Modernism: Max Richter: John Williams' Star Wars Soundtrack Recomposed*


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> *Post-Post Modernism: Max Richter: John Williams' Star Wars Soundtrack Recomposed*


Oh, so we've already reached post-post modernism? What will people do in a few hundred years, when they get to several "posts"? Will they have to write it as an exponent, like post[SUP]5[/SUP]? :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Composer Kimberly Kardashian association with Mozart, Brahms, Elgar, or Adams?

http://www.classicalsource.com/db_control/db_news.php?id=4582


----------



## Bettina

Vaneyes said:


> Composer Kimberly Kardashian association with Mozart, Brahms, Elgar, or Adams?
> 
> http://www.classicalsource.com/db_control/db_news.php?id=4582


I'd associate her with Elgar, because the reason for her fame is an Enigma to me! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Are there any concert DVDs made specifically for deaf people, with captions explaining what's going on in the music? The captions could say things like "now the violins are playing a slow melody" and "the trumpets interrupt with a big chord" and stuff like that.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Are there any concert DVDs made specifically for deaf people, with captions explaining what's going on in the music? The captions could say things like "now the violins are playing a slow melody" and "the trumpets interrupt with a big chord" and stuff like that.


Sounds good. You could make two tracks: one for the deaf and the other for the tone deaf.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'd associate her with Elgar, because the reason for her fame is an Enigma to me! :lol:


Her fame came from a leaked sex tape. :lol: While I can see a modern Mozart doing karaoke to Sir Mix-a-lot's _Baby Got Back_ ("I like big butts and I cannot lie"), there are those rumors about Brahms playing music in the brothels. If true, I could see Brahms being most associated with Kim K!



Bettina said:


> Are there any concert DVDs made specifically for deaf people, with captions explaining what's going on in the music? The captions could say things like "now the violins are playing a slow melody" and "the trumpets interrupt with a big chord" and stuff like that.


Now playing: Beethoven 
♫
Audience: Applause! Applause! Bravo!

Now playing: Arnold Schoenberg 
♫
Audience: Boo! Hiss! Tomato splat!

Now playing: 4'33"
?
Audience: WTF? REVOLT!


----------



## Ziggabea

Poll: Was Salami responsible for Mozarts' death?


----------



## hpowders

Ziggabea said:


> Poll: Was Salami responsible for Mozarts' death?


Was he German or Garlic?


----------



## Klassik

Ziggabea said:


> Poll: Was Salami responsible for Mozarts' death?


Salami killed Mozart? What a bunch of Bologna!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Salami killed Mozart? What a bunch of Bologna!


Yeah. I had a rye grin on my face when I read that one. Everyone knows that Mozart hung himself at Brahms' house.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah. I had a rye grin on my fce when I read that one. Everyone knows that Mozart hung himself at Brahms' house.


Well, one could say that tainted Salami killed Brahms' buddy Schumann! In fact, tainted Salami may have finished off many of the biggest names in classical music! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Poll: which euphemism do you prefer?

1. Salami
2. Corncob
3. Sockpuppet
4. Other (please specify)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Poll: which euphemism do you prefer?
> 
> 1. Salami
> *2. Corncob*
> 3. Sockpuppet
> 4. Other (please specify)


I enjoy making creamed corn with my Jolly Green Giant corncobs on hot, steamy nights! 

I can come up with some other good ones, but we'll stick with this one for now! :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> Poll: which euphemism do you prefer?
> 
> 1. Salami
> 2. Corncob
> 3. Sockpuppet
> 4. Other (please specify)


We're not talking euphemisms here; this is real-world stuff. I wanna see it hit the ground running! Which method is most efficient at achieving the desired results for the situation? I'm a problem-solver, not a poet.


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> I'm a problem-solver, not a poet.


I yam what I yam. Speaking of which, yams would make for a great euphemism!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I yam what I yam. Speaking of which, yams would make for a great euphemism!


I'm not so sure about that. When yams get hot, they become soft - that doesn't seem to fit the situation that we have in mind!


----------



## Vaneyes

Covfefe, coverage, covert, soufflait, bonkers.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm not so sure about that. When yams get hot, they become soft - that doesn't seem to fit the situation that we have in mind!


Yikes, scratch the yams for me then! I'm sticking with the corncob then! When corn gets hot, it pops! That sounds like ole' Klassik! :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes




----------



## millionrainbows

Vaneyes said:


> Covfefe, coverage, covert, soufflait, bonkers.


Covert Fi Fi, Zsa Zsa overage, conflate, goosebait, honkers.


----------



## millionrainbows

Vaneyes said:


>


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> I'm not so sure about that. When yams get hot, they become soft - that doesn't seem to fit the situation that we have in mind!


That's if we take the yam metaphor at face value. We must penetrate deeper into the metaphorical meaning of the yam: it is underground, secret, hidden in the darkness, which is itself a general metaphor for the forbidden, the dark side, and the unconscious aspects of the psyche. Thus, we have transformed the merely physical into something spiritual, something which holds the key to deeper understanding, and the eventual individuation of the self.


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


>


Oh my, Vaneyes! I'm green with envy! 



millionrainbows said:


>


I don't know about this. Melons are usually an euphemism for something else. For example, "I could go for a couple of big jugs of watermelon juice right now!"

Besides, who would want to carry that around down there everywhere? :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Selfies: Overrated; Underrated; Don't know; Don't care.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/selfie-waterfall-death_us_592e5a36e4b0c0608e8c7e8b


----------



## Klassik

From this ancient post that was not written by me: Schoenberg Will Not Die!

*Schoenberg Will Not Die, but Schönberg committed suicide in 1934!*

Bettina, what's your feelings on umlauted composers who stop using their umlauts?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> From this ancient post that was not written by me: Schoenberg Will Not Die!
> 
> *Schoenberg Will Not Die, but Schönberg committed suicide in 1934!*
> 
> Bettina, what's your feelings on umlauted composers who stop using their umlauts?


It bothers me that Schönberg and Händel sacrificed their umlauts in order to fit in with their new cultures. Immigration might be a melting pot, but it's sad when the umlaut has to melt away!


----------



## Bettina

I applaud Dvořák for keeping his diacriticals during his stay in America!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


>


This is how you do it


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Tell your "Spinal Tap moment"...I can't, I play classical guitar. If you're a flatulent rock star, tell us!


----------



## Vaneyes

Itching this part of your body is a sign of spending too much time at TC.


----------



## millionrainbows

Schoenburger: 12 oz. of Angus beef on a kaiser bun, with 3 pickle slices, 3 rings of onion, and 6 oz. of cheese, served "inverted."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Tell your "Spinal Tap moment"...I can't, I play classical guitar. If you're a flatulent rock star, tell us!


I'm all mixed up I play classical and electric guitar myself but my fav Spinal Tap moment would be the "Mach" moment


----------



## Vaneyes

millionrainbows said:


> That's if we take the yam metaphor at face value. We must penetrate deeper into the metaphorical meaning of the yam: it is underground, secret, hidden in the darkness, which is itself a general metaphor for the forbidden, the dark side, and the unconscious aspects of the psyche. Thus, we have transformed the merely physical into something spiritual, something which holds the key to deeper understanding, and the eventual individuation of the self.


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Schoenburger: 12 oz. of Angus beef on a kaiser bun, with 3 pickle slices, 3 rings of onion, and 6 oz. of cheese, served "inverted."


I always thought that Schoenberg's favorite food was cold serial with milk!


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


>


I don't think I can handle a super colon. Is a semi-super colon available?



Bettina said:


> I always thought that Schoenberg's favorite food was cold serial with milk!


Cold serial? I take it that Raisin Brahms is off the table then.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is Gangster Rap "sissy boy" music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

People's 'nose' for music versus their singing ability


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Poll: How many polls?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I always thought that Schoenberg's favorite food was cold serial with milk!


They made a 12 ounce milk carton just for him.


----------



## millionrainbows

*The Russians Are Still Coming!! *Apparently, they are capable of multiple, sustained orgasms! This might go on for days!


----------



## millionrainbows

Vaneyes said:


>


So the yam is actually a metaphor for a deeper, darker, hidden aspect which turns out not to be metaphorical at all! That's horrible! I can't stand the reality of it! Give me back my metaphor!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Listening with one eye open to Atonal Music


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> *The Russians Are Still Coming!! *Apparently, they are capable of multiple, sustained orgasms! This might go on for days!


The Russian women must have *Put in* some long-lasting vibrators!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Are the Russians white or black or are they zebra?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> The Russian women must have *Put in* some long-lasting vibrators!


Maybe so, but it's too bad a Püssy Riot like that is a crime in Russia! 

And, yes, I know püssy does not have an umlaut. Apparently it needs one to meet TC's standards. I'm sure Bettina won't complain though!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Are the Russians white or black or are they zebra?


None of the above. The correct answer is orange! _The Love for Three Oranges_ - A Trump family story predicted by Prokofiev 100 years ago! :lol:


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> I tend to think that most of the excitement for me occurs after I take my underwear off, but everyone else seems to disagree with me. What am I doing wrong?


Taking off one's underwear is very exciting! I do it every day and the shower gets turned on.


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Taking off one's underwear is very exciting! I do it every day and the shower gets turned on.


The "shower", huh? I have one of those pulsating shower heads. It's a lot of fun I tell ya! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Top 10 Most Psychologically lightweight Works of music


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Top 10 Most Psychologically lightweight Works of music


My list is dominated by a lot of animal pieces and piano exercises:

1. Saint-Saëns: Carnival of the Animals
2. Offenbach: Can-Can from Orpheus in the Underworld
3. Ibert: The Little White Donkey
4. Liszt: Grand Galop Chromatique
5. Mozart: A Musical Joke
6. Czerny: Practical Exercises for Beginners, Op. 599
7. Hanon: The Virtuoso Pianist
8. Moszkowski: 20 Petites Etudes, Op. 91
9. Diabelli: Waltz (Beethoven transformed it into something sublime, but Diabell's OT* - original theme - was lightweight)
10. Czerny: The School of Velocity, Op. 299

*I've just coined a new word, OT, by analogy with OP (original post).


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> My list is dominated by a lot of animal pieces and piano exercises:
> 
> 1. Saint-Saëns: Carnival of the Animals
> 2. Offenbach: Can-Can from Orpheus in the Underworld
> 3. Ibert: The Little White Donkey
> 4. Liszt: Grand Galop Chromatique
> 5. Mozart: A Musical Joke
> 6. Czerny: Practical Exercises for Beginners, Op. 599
> 7. Hanon: The Virtuoso Pianist
> 8. Moszkowski: 20 Petites Etudes, Op. 91
> 9. Diabelli: Waltz (Beethoven transformed it into something sublime, but Diabell's OT* - original theme - was lightweight)
> 10. Czerny: The School of Velocity, Op. 299
> 
> *I've just coined a new word, OT, by analogy with OP (original post).


OT, very impressive listing of light weight works


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Top 10 Most Psychologically lightweight Works of music





Bettina said:


> My list is dominated by a lot of animal pieces and piano exercises:
> 
> 1. Saint-Saëns: Carnival of the Animals
> 2. Offenbach: Can-Can from Orpheus in the Underworld
> 3. Ibert: The Little White Donkey
> 4. Liszt: Grand Galop Chromatique
> 5. Mozart: A Musical Joke
> 6. Czerny: Practical Exercises for Beginners, Op. 599
> 7. Hanon: The Virtuoso Pianist
> 8. Moszkowski: 20 Petites Etudes, Op. 91
> 9. Diabelli: Waltz (Beethoven transformed it into something sublime, but Diabell's OT* - original theme - was lightweight)
> 10. Czerny: The School of Velocity, Op. 299
> 
> *I've just coined a new word, OT, by analogy with OP (original post).


No 4'33"?  It does not get any more lightweight than that!

Personally speaking, Offenbach's _Infernal Galop_ might be my favorite piece of classical music! Big surprise, huh? :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Kgb, bgk, bkg, kbg, gbk, gkb, vvp, djt.


----------



## millionrainbows

Vaneyes said:


> Kgb, bgk, bkg, kbg, gbk, gkb, vvp, djt.


What about Btk? You don't wanna leave him out.


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> My list is dominated by a lot of animal pieces and piano exercises:
> 
> 1. Saint-Saëns: Carnival of the Animals
> 2. Offenbach: Can-Can from Orpheus in the Underworld
> 3. Ibert: The Little White Donkey
> 4. Liszt: Grand Galop Chromatique
> 5. Mozart: A Musical Joke
> 6. Czerny: Practical Exercises for Beginners, Op. 599
> 7. Hanon: The Virtuoso Pianist
> 8. Moszkowski: 20 Petites Etudes, Op. 91
> 9. Diabelli: Waltz (Beethoven transformed it into something sublime, but Diabell's OT* - original theme - was lightweight)
> 10. Czerny: The School of Velocity, Op. 299
> 
> *I've just coined a new word, OT, by analogy with OP (original post).


That's one of the "Cutest" posts I've ever seen!

Some "cute" album covers:


----------



## millionrainbows

*Classical Works Which Create A Sense of Impending Doom*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump is the New Wagner

*Not simply a genius, but a God!


----------



## Klassik

What is the most erotic musical instrument?

The English horn looks somewhat phallic. Of course, it goes without saying that the nipple gong is at least mildly erotic.


----------



## Bettina

Does it feel erotic when the usher helps you find your seat in the concert hall?


----------



## Pugg

Where is Eddie when we need him.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Where is Eddie when we need him.


Unpacking boxes


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

Bettina said:


> *I've just coined a new word, OT, by analogy with OP (original post).


Original Toast!! You are a genius.


----------



## hpowders

TC Book Department.

"Beethoven the Weak Wimp" by A TC Poster

If it was opined by a TC poster, it must be true.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Gabriel Ortiz said:


> Original Toast!! You are a genius.


With Vegemite! OTV


----------



## hpowders

Except for Beethoven, Wagner, Bach, Handel, Schumann, Liszt, Haydn Vivaldi, Brahms, Bruckner, Scarlatti, Mahler, Prokofiev, Mozart, Chopin, Bartok and Shostakovich, whom do you listen to, classically?


----------



## hpowders

My first classical concert in years!!

Was released on Wednesday after serving thirty seven years for murder. Looking forward to the Berlin Philharmonic concert on Sunday afternoon.


----------



## hpowders

Who has the best symphonies, Amazon.com or ArkivMusic?


----------



## hpowders

TC lost and found department:

Has anybody located my music folder? It has 3296 works in it. I hope I didn't lose it in the cloud. It was so damn overcast this morning.


----------



## hpowders

Posts you have ruined for yourself through mistakes, sexual innuendo, threats to other posters, cursing, allegiences to ISIS, etc;


----------



## hpowders

Your five favorite emotionally disturbing posts that almost caused you to leave TC:


----------



## hpowders

Mozart's five greatest incomplete love affairs.


----------



## hpowders

From President Trump's Committee for getting information from whomever we want to:

Hello posters!!!

If we have someone tied up in a chair because he doesn't look American enough, whose music would break him and get him to admit he is un-American? Mahler's or Stravinsky's?


----------



## hpowders

Advice needed:

I have 6 different remasterings of the Solti Ring. Will the brand new one be better?


----------



## hpowders

Let's discuss Bach's Passions:

1. Sex

2. Organ

3. Rum cake

4. Cafe mit schlag

5. Other

Who will start?


----------



## hpowders

Melody of the Month Club:

Every month we will send you a different unique melody to help get you through the month.

PM for rates. Sub-forum member discounts!!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite whine:

I'll start: "Why can't we have separate sub-forums for people as smart as I am?"


----------



## hpowders

Top Ten Timpanists to jolt you out of your hum drum existence.


----------



## hpowders

Mozart's Early Masses

OMG!!! I didn't know Mozart had cancer at at early age!! How did he even make it to 35???


----------



## hpowders

Arnold Schoenberg: Atonality or Abnormality?


----------



## hpowders

Which is better for me? An algorithmic wife or a human wife? I'm a misanthropic math major.


----------



## hpowders

TC marital relations department:

Is it time to split up when your wife looks more and more like the statue of liberty?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> TC marital relations department:
> 
> Is it time to split up when your wife looks more and more like the statue of liberty?


As long as she's still willing to hold your torch, then she's worth keeping!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> As long as she's still willing to hold your torch, then she's worth keeping!


"Liberty" is a concept unknown in the hpowders chateau.
The rule I've always lived by is don't scorch the torch...or worse.


----------



## hpowders

Which do you like the most:

1. Motorcycle

2. Krebs cycle

3. Life cycle

4. Karajan Beethoven cycle

5. Women's 30 day cycle

6. Unicycle


----------



## hpowders

From the office of the President of the United States to all TC posters:

Come up with an album and its artwork favorable to his highness, Donald Trump, immediately, or face deportation in the morning!


----------



## hpowders

Help me get a Handel on Stravinsky.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> My first classical concert in years!!
> 
> Was released on Wednesday after serving thirty seven years for murder. Looking forward to the Berlin Philharmonic concert on Sunday afternoon.


You'll be in for a shock to learn that Karajan is dead. That's too bad too because Karajan might have approved of your murder depending on who you killed. But, yes, I hear they have this rattletrap now. Maybe it's a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba. With rich, Corinthian leather of course.



hpowders said:


> Which do you like the most:
> 
> 1. Motorcycle
> 
> 2. Krebs cycle
> 
> 3. Life cycle
> 
> 4. Karajan Beethoven cycle
> 
> *5. Women's 30 day cycle*
> 
> 6. Unicycle


I went to the store today. Now normally I steer clear of the "feminine hygiene" aisle, but for whatever reason I accidentally went down there. I saw that they were advertising a new product called the Diva Cup. Remind me to never take a drink out of one of those!  Gesualdo would be interested though.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Favorite whine:
> 
> I'll start: "Why can't we have separate sub-forums for people as smart as I am?"


What is the IQ limit? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Arnold Schoenberg: Atonality or Abnormality?


Wa he related to Arnold Horshack?


----------



## Vaneyes

POS, SOP, OPS, SPO, OSP, PSO.

http://thehill.com/homenews/media/336255-cnn-host-calls-president-trump-a-piece-of-s


----------



## Vaneyes

Rex, tex, mex, hex, sex, lex, vex.


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven's Seventh Piano Sonata vs. Prokofiev's Seventh Symphony: They sound the same to me.

Am I unusually perceptive?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What is the IQ limit? :lol:


The usual around here: 79.

Competitive "other" forum: 156.


----------



## Bettina

Upcoming concerts that you're not attending


----------



## hpowders

Is Alger Rithmich any good for piano music?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Upcoming concerts that you're not attending


Every dang one at Carnegie Hall, living in this mosquito-infested swamp!


----------



## hpowders

Wouldn't Mahler's Sixth Symphony be even better with the two middle movements removed?


----------



## hpowders

Your five favorite emotionally removed pieces of classical music-any century is okay.


----------



## hpowders

Are you simply over-doing it when you are attempting to post to and with someone who last posted on January 5th 2007?


----------



## JeffD

If you were stranded on a tropical island, with nothing but shelter, food, and fresh water, what would you miss more, other people, or music?


----------



## JeffD

If you were to learn that Beethoven had been indwelt by an alien intelligence, would that change your views about romantic music?


----------



## JeffD

If Mozart were a hockey player would he have been better than Wayne Gretzky?


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> If you were learn that Beethoven had been indwelt by an alien intelligence, would that change your views about romantic music?


It would make me want to visit that planet!!


----------



## Klassik

JeffD said:


> If Mozart were a hockey player would he have been better than Wayne Gretzky?


Yes. I think that, unlike Gretzky, Mozart would have done his own fighting! He wouldn't have needed a Marty McSorley!

Perhaps Beethoven would have been a Bob Probert :lol:


----------



## Jacred

Gotta check out Mozart's new hockey stick concerto...


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Gotta check out Mozart's new hockey stick concerto...


Yes. That wood be lovely.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

JeffD said:


> If you were to learn that Beethoven had been indwelt by an alien intelligence, would that change your views about romantic music?


We have a poll for that (we have a poll for everything!)

http://www.talkclassical.com/showthread.php?t=46068


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yes. That wood be lovely.


Wood? I take it then that you like your Mozart hockey stick concerto on time period instruments. None of those modern composite hockey sticks for you!


----------



## hpowders

I'm submitting my list of favorite late Beethoven a bit early. Hope this is okay.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> It would make me want to visit that planet!!


"One way" ticket or "round trip"? "One way" means a farewell thread, "Permanent Leave to Another Planet", must be posted on Area 51.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> "One way" ticket or "round trip"? "One way" means a farewell thread must be posted on Area 51.


No need for a farewell thread! I'll be bringing my laptop and phone with me, and I plan to continue posting on TC. I'm sure that the aliens could generate some sort of wi-fi signals for me to use!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> No need for a farewell thread! I'll be bringing my laptop and phone with me, and I plan to continue posting on TC. I'm sure that the aliens could generate some sort of wi-fi signals for me to use!


Yes! They can send the signals right to the Mt. Palomar telescope so we can all share your observations and experiences in real time.


----------



## Jacred

Bettina said:


> No need for a farewell thread! I'll be bringing my laptop and phone with me, and I plan to continue posting on TC. I'm sure that the aliens could generate some sort of wi-fi signals for me to use!


How many lightyears away are they? I'm not waiting 5000 years for a post... but, then again, wouldn't that be a change? You usually respond in milliseconds!

Also, make sure to take pictures of the pianos they (hopefully) have there.


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> How many lightyears away are they? I'm not waiting 5000 years for a post... but, then again, wouldn't that be a change? You usually respond in milliseconds!
> 
> Also, make sure to take pictures of the pianos they (hopefully) have there.


I'll ask the aliens to set up an internet connection that works faster than the speed of light, so that I can keep on replying to posts instantly. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Also, make sure to take pictures of the pianos they (hopefully) have there.


Does this planet have "people" with superior intelligence? What about taste? If they are smarter and have better taste than us, they'll only have harpsichords! :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> How many lightyears away are they? I'm not waiting 5000 years for a post... but, then again, wouldn't that be a change? You usually respond in milliseconds!
> 
> Also, make sure to take pictures of the pianos they (hopefully) have there.


How many musicians does it take to change a light year?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Does this planet have "people" with superior intelligence? What about taste? If they are smarter and have better taste than us, they'll only have harpsichords! :tiphat:


Yes. Quite different than what we have grown accustomed to.

I'm sure they even do musical HIP replacements.


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> Yes. Quite different than what we have grown accustomed to.
> 
> I'm sure they even do musical HIP replacements.


I would never stop walking if my hip played music whenever I moved it.


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> I would never stop walking if my hip played music whenever I moved it.


Mine does! 

Oh, wait, those are just farts. Never mind. :lol:


----------



## JeffD

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> We have a poll for that (we have a poll for everything!)
> 
> http://www.talkclassical.com/showthread.php?t=46068


Oh my gawwwwwwwwwd.


----------



## JeffD

So this is the ultimate stupid thread idea:

Do you think Edgard Varese could have gotten as far as he did without those eyebrows, and that "poster for Reefer Madness" stare?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

JeffD said:


> So this is the ultimate stupid thread idea:
> 
> Do you think Edgard Varese could have gotten so far without those eyebrows, and that "poster for Reefer Madness" stare?
> 
> View attachment 94990


There might have been less horns and sirens


----------



## Bettina

Continuing my composer anagram series:

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart = art-wolf, madman, Zeus. Agog!


----------



## Pugg

JeffD said:


> So this is the ultimate stupid thread idea:
> 
> Do you think Edgard Varese could have gotten as far as he did without those eyebrows, and that "poster for Reefer Madness" stare?
> 
> View attachment 94990


Now that's asking for trouble :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Listening Intelligently to Atonal Music under water


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Dinner with Frankenstein


----------



## Jacred

Dinner for Dracula


----------



## Jacred

Schubert's Last Three after the First Three and before the Last Three groups of Three Piano Sonatas.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Listening Intelligently to Atonal Music While Standing on your Head on a Unicycle on a Tightrope 300 ft. in the Air

...and later being criticized for "Not being able to stand on your own two feet"*


----------



## millionrainbows

*After moderate success with his opera "The Great Gatsby," John Harbison is planning a new opera called "The Kardashians."*


----------



## millionrainbows

Schoenberg: Somewhat Crudely Harmonic Or Even Bitter, Even Right Ghastly

Beethoven: Benign, Ebullient, Emanating Tocattas Having Overtly Vivacious, Elegant Noises

Webern: What Emanates Behind Easily Retrograded Noises?


----------



## hpowders

TC Marketplace:

Two My Pillows for sale:

Make My Pillows Your Pillows and remember whether you are a big girl and can sing or a big girl who can't sing, Rocki Bottime, the girl with the silent "e", this one's for you:


----------



## millionrainbows

*Why can't my late grandmother, who was deaf during the last ten years of her life, appreciate avant garde music?

No zombie-haters, please.*


----------



## hpowders

TC Psychology Section:* The doctor is IN:*

How come when I unwhined, nothing gets accomplished and the world still sucks?


----------



## hpowders

Which Middle Ages composer was responsible for the most conversions from Judaism to Christianity?


----------



## hpowders

Composer discoveries:

I dropped a schilling in a Viennese park and I went digging for it and found some old human bones instead. Mozart?


----------



## Bettina

Beethoven: Best Ever! Excellent Talent, He Overcame Vast Emergencies Nobly.


----------



## Bettina

Wagner: What A Great Narcissist. Excellent Richard!


----------



## Bettina

Mozart: Man Of Zany Antics, Radical Talent.


----------



## Klassik

Yo Ma Ma playing in the nude, carefully covered by her cello. Erotic?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Wagner: What A Great Narcissist. Excellent Richard!


Yeah, but is it a circumcised Richard? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Debussy: Dreamy! Ends By Undulating Softly. Sublime, Yes.


----------



## Bettina

Don Giovanni: Devil Of Nighttime. Goes In, Overpowers Virgins. A Naughty, Naughty Invader.


----------



## hpowders

Was the holiday of Thanksgiving named after the slow movement of Beethoven's A minor Quartet?


----------



## hpowders

Wagner's Ring is a Nothing Burger. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Which Middle Ages composer was responsible for the most conversions from Judaism to Christianity?


You dummy, hpowders! Why, the devout lout, Twistan Rach, of course.


----------



## hpowders

Trying out my new symphony here:

_iY65dumbo673_

Comments?

Please don't offer up your words, if you don't feel like it could be considered at least as fine as a work by Beethoven.

Thanks for the help!!


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Trying out my new symphony here:
> 
> _iY65dumbo673_
> 
> Comments?
> 
> Please don't offer up your words, if you don't feel like it could be considered at least as fine as a work by Beethoven.
> 
> Thanks for the help!!


NOBODY????

Well, I don't feel despis-éd as in Handel's Messiah, but I do feel deflat-éd.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Wagner's Ring is a Nothing Burger. Discuss.


It's more of a Whataburger. Ok, not really. Whataburger is actually decent. It's more of a Jack in the Box!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> *Why can't my late grandmother, who was deaf during the last ten years of her life, appreciate avant garde music?
> 
> No zombie-haters, please.*


Turn up Da Bass

Did your Grandmother like Zombies or Zombie Wolves even?

https://www.facebook.com/GRANDMOTHERSOFINVENTION


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Yeah, but is it a circumcised Richard? :lol:


Sounds like he's simply a victim of circumsizes.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Yo Ma Ma playing in the nude, carefully covered by her cello. Erotic?


Yo Yo's Ma?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Sounds like he's simply a victim of circumsizes.


Ouch ouch ouch!


----------



## hpowders

TC advertising section:

Are you a veteran, own your own home and need cash?

Don't look at me!!! :lol::lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yo Yo's Ma?


Yo-Yo's Ma was a singer. I have no idea if she was erotic or not. I guess Yo-Yo's Pa thought so.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Yo-Yo's Ma was a singer. I have no idea if she was erotic or not. I guess Yo-Yo's Pa thought so.


They wanted him to be a teacher. Too bad he disappointed them and is making $10,000,000 a year instead as a fella playin the cella.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Rock Wyatt  - Robert Bottom (1794) -  distance ancestors of Rock Hudson


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> They wanted him to be a teacher. Too bad he disappointed them and is making $10,000,000 a year instead as a fella playin the cella.


$10,000,000? Not bad for a Yo-Yo.


----------



## hpowders

Going to Macbeth's for some wine. Witch do you recommend?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> $10,000,000? Not bad for a Yo-Yo.


The only Yo Yo I was familiar with "growing up" (still an ongoing process), was a Duncan Yo Yo on a string.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Rock Wyatt  - Robert Bottom (1794) -  distance ancestors of Rock Hudson


You know you've hit rock bottom when you have reached the deepest and most profound of the atonalists' subforums.


----------



## hpowders

Why when I hear the word "atonalists" does it remind me of being in that exclusive category of having all of my toenails being yanked out by someone with a pair of pliers....heated in advance, of course, to prevent infections.


----------



## hpowders

First day of school; fifth grade:

"Hello. My name is Yo Yo and I play the cello."

How long will it take for me to be buried in the Cemetery of Bullies, right behind the school?

1. Same day.

2. Within the hour.

3. As soon as I introduce myself.

4. My parents were smart and sent me to private school for gifted children.


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> Debussy: Dreamy! Ends By Undulating Softly. Sublime, Yes.


Debussy: Drek! Elegant Boys Undulate Sensually! Sick Youth!


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> Don Giovanni: Devil Of Nighttime. Goes In, Overpowers Virgins. A Naughty, Naughty Invader.


Don Giovanni: Deliverer Of Nothingness. Gaudy, Insubstantial, Overtly Vile, Asinine Nitwit Intoning!


----------



## millionrainbows

Berg: Boy, Ewww! Rank Garbage!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> $10,000,000? Not bad for a Yo-Yo.


Yeah. A diamond-studded Duncan Yo Yo; 17 carats....professional model.

Costs more than a Steinway Model D concert grand with the self-cleaning keys.


----------



## hpowders

Which is your favorite fast food:

1. A hamburger

2. A cheeseburger

3. Ein Festeburger

4. Wings


----------



## hpowders

TC job application thread:

Hello bosses!

I would like to be on the committee that determines the amount of seconds that must pass, optimally, before a poster can re-post, and stuff like that. I am good with time, and I have four watches!! Photos sent on request!! Thanks!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah. A diamond-studded Duncan Yo Yo; 17 carats....professional model.
> 
> Costs more than a Steinway Model D concert grand with the self-cleaning keys, that Bettina could anachronistically play Bach on....assuming that composer is still on her A Liszt.


Self-cleaning keys? I think Bettina could use that after she works on her fingering! 

But don't encourage anyone to play Bach on a piano. Sodom and Gomorrah!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Self-cleaning keys? I think Bettina could use that after she works on her fingering!
> 
> But don't encourage anyone to play Bach on a piano. Sodom and Gomorrah!


I have a Liszt of many of mein fetishes, but anachronistically played Bach on piano is certainly NOT one of them.


----------



## hpowders

TC Fruit and Vegetable Forum:

Are you an avocado aficionado?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I have a Liszt of many of mein fetishes


What about a Hall & Oates fetish? Perhaps you can explain to me why two guys have a kiss on the Liszt. I don't think Liszt swung that way.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Self-cleaning keys? I think Bettina could use that after she works on her fingering!
> 
> But don't encourage anyone to play Bach on a piano. Sodom and Gomorrah!


I must admit that I often do play Bach on the piano.  How naughty of me! However, that is by no means the naughtiest thing that I have ever done with my fingers!!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I have a Liszt of many of mein fetishes, but anachronistically played Bach on piano is certainly NOT one of them.


I can assure you that my fingering is historically informed! I usually use the old-fashioned approach, with no batteries involved.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> What about a Hall & Oates fetish? Perhaps you can explain to me why two guys have a kiss on the Liszt. I don't think Liszt swung that way.


Sorry. My Oates are a safe Quaker slow cooked.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I can assure you that my fingering is historically informed! I usually use the old-fashioned approach, with no batteries involved.


Bach with intendo innuendo. Has possibilities. *If only I could answer with the skill they deprive me **of!!*** Anyhow, I am getting good vibes from your post. They cannot deprive me of those!!

*** hpowders' own Heiligenstadt Testament*


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I can assure you that my fingering is historically informed! I usually use the old-fashioned approach, with no batteries involved.


This is good to hear. Electronic instruments are the devil! It's good to see proper vibraphone usage in these modern times!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> TC Fruit and Vegetable Forum:
> 
> Are you an avocado aficionado?


No, but feel free to pick your favorite fruit or vegetable:

Banana, Plantain, eggplant, or cucumber?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> No, but feel free to pick your favorite fruit or vegetable:
> 
> Banana, Plantain, eggplant, or cucumber?


As you develop biologically, you can graduate to footballs.


----------



## Klassik

So I searched Wikipedia for plantains. Who knew there were so many varieties. There is a Yo-Yo plantain. Plantain Ma? There is also a Dodo plantain. I wonder if it goes well with dill pickles?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooking_banana


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> As you develop biologically, you can graduate to footballs.


Well, it depends. Tom Brady likes his footballs deflated.

Anyway, forget about all these fruits and vegetables. Who wants some meat? I've got some Ball Park wieners. As the commercials say, "They plump when you cook them!"


----------



## hpowders

hpowders' own Heligenstadt Testament:

Why oh why Lord, do they deprive me of answering posts thriving with innuendo that someone like me was born to answer, only to be frustrated into silence!

A shepherd walks down my block in Tampa, taunting me with his pipe played deliberately flat. Nobody can hear that it's off-pitch, but me!

Translated from the original Brooklyn.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, it depends. Tom Brady likes his footballs deflated.
> 
> Anyway, forget about all these fruits and vegetables. *Who wants some meat? * I've got some Ball Park wieners. As the commercials say, "They plump when you cook them!"


As the first mate exclaimed on the Titanic, "This will not end well!" "Row boats, $37,500!!"


----------



## Klassik

Question 1: Is it erotic when a woman sings the Oscar Mayer Wiener Song?

Question 2: Wouldn't you consider this a klassik car?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I must admit that I often do play Bach on the piano.  How naughty of me! However, that is by no means the naughtiest thing that I have ever done with my fingers!!


Ha! Ha! I just assumed this was an answer to something I wrote. Glad to see the pressure off for a bit.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> So I searched Wikipedia for plantains. Who knew there were so many varieties. There is a Yo-Yo plantain. Plantain Ma? There is also a Dodo plantain. I wonder if it goes well with dill pickles?
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooking_banana


My wife loves plantains. Keeps the pressure off me so I can post 24/7.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> hpowders' own Heligenstadt Testament:
> 
> Why oh why Lord, do they deprive me of answering posts thriving with innuendo that someone like me was born to answer, only to be frustrated into silence!


Sorry for all the innuendo. I'm trying to see if you'll bite the hook. You can say that I'm a master baiter.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Question 1: Is it erotic when a woman sings the Oscar Mayer Wiener Song?
> 
> Question 2: Wouldn't you consider this a klassik car?


No to both!!!


----------



## Jacred

Need help with The Planets! I don't think Mars is visible in the sky tonight where I'm at.


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Need help with The Planets! I don't think Mars is visible in the sky tonight where I'm at.


You won't miss Mars. It's the bringer of war after all. You don't want to see Saturn either. If you do, you'll be posting in the " You Know You're Getting Old When......" thread! And, frankly, I don't want to see Uranus! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Brahms: Brilliantly Refused Atonality. He Mastered Symphonies.

Chopin: Charmingly Homesick, Oh Poland! Impressionistic Nocturnes.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Brahms: Brilliantly Refused Atonality. He Mastered Symphonies.
> 
> Chopin: Charmingly Homesick, Oh Poland! Impressionistic Nocturnes.


This is good. Let's crank up the difficulty a notch. Do composers with diacritical marks in their name and use words that also start with diacritics. :lol: I suppose this might be impossible in English!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What happens in your afterlife - Come in and share!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Sorry for all the innuendo. I'm trying to see if you'll bite the hook. You can say that *I'm a master baiter. *


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


>


I clicked on it and got this Tchaikovsky outtake


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What happens in your afterlife - Come in and share!


So far, I can report a little transfiguration, but not as much as I had hoped.


----------



## millionrainbows

Mahler: Wagner meets Woody Allen


----------



## millionrainbows

*Mahler 6, conducted by Leonard Nimoy

*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> *Mahler 6, conducted by Leonard Nimoy
> 
> *


*Beam me up Spocky*


----------



## hpowders

For my 3 year old, help needed:

Looking for a Tuba, Miriam. Can you help?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> For my 3 year old, help needed:
> 
> Looking for a Tuba, Miriam. Can you help?


I have a Timpani if that helps


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I have a Timpani if that helps


I'd like to talk more, but there's some tea whistling on the kettle.


----------



## SiegendesLicht

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What happens in your afterlife - Come in and share!


Lots of Favorite Beers in Walhalla


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I'd like to talk more, but there's some tea whistling on the kettle.


Are you trying to drum up some business?


----------



## hpowders

Copland: Could Offer Populist Landmark Appalachian Notes Decisively.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Beam me up Spocky*


Live long and sock her.


----------



## hpowders

millionrainbows said:


> *Mahler 6, conducted by Leonard Nimoy
> 
> *


Apperars to be someone pensively persusing powders' posts.


----------



## dillonp2020

I hereby declare that henceforth, Beethoven's 30th piano sonata is to be considered the unequivocal, incontrovertible pinnacle of all of classical music.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Live long and sock her.


Didn't Arsenal win that one


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite Wife


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Didn't Arsenal win that one


Yes. Arsenal and Old Lace.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Favourite Wife


Hold on (not literally!!). I'm getting my engineering calculator-goes into numbers so large, where no man has ever gone before. A lot to choose from...so few that were memorable.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Hold on (not literally!!). I'm getting my engineering calculator-goes into numbers so large, where no man has ever gone before. A lot to choose from...so few that were memorable.


You need a slide rule


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You need a slide rule


I have one and the lubricant that will make it sing and slide, "like oil" according to Mozart.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I have one and the lubricant that will make it sing and slide, "like oil" according to Mozart.


Jeeze this Mozart guy gets around...............


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I have one and the lubricant that will make it sing and slide, "like oil" according to Mozart.


A man who creates such warm music as Mozart must surely use the warming jelly, yes?


----------



## hpowders

New member here:

Anyone else here from Nowhere, Relevant?


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Pieces of Music:

1. Mozart's 23 Piano Concerto

2. Beethoven's 31st Piano Sonata

3. Haydn's 101st Symphony

4. Because


----------



## Klassik

New members at Talk Classical:

"Hello from Cranky Corner, Louisiana. Beethoven is the best carnsarnit!"

"Greetings from Handsome Eddy, New York. Varese is hot!"

"Well, hello there from Loveladies, New Jersey. Schumann is my idol!"

"The gayest of greetings from Husband, Pennsylvania! Tchaikovsky is bae!"

"Yeehaw from The Bottle, Alabama! I'd like to share a drink with Mussorgsky!" 

"Salut from Condom, France. Schubert has never been here before."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> New member here:
> 
> Anyone else here from Nowhere, Relevant?


----------



## Klassik

Looking for a tubal ligation for my wife


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Looking for a tubal ligation for my wife


Let hope your wife doesn't read this site


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Let hope your wife doesn't read this site


I'm not married...but if I was...:devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Help me buy a camel!


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Help me buy a camel!


I like ones with two humps. And lots of toe.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Composers as Goats and other Animals.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Let hope your wife doesn't read this site


She might if she plays the tubal.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I'm not married...but if I was...:devil:


I took the hint since you are a master debater.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Help me buy a camel!


Two humps or three?


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite measurement:

1. Millimeter

2. Cubic Centimeter

3. Decameter

4. Velveeta Meter


----------



## hpowders

Proposal for a new folder:

New folder, will you marry me? :tiphat:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Two humps or three?


Does it come with free floor mats


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Does it come with free floor mats


Only if you order the premium camel with the V8 engine.


----------



## hpowders

dillonp2020 said:


> I hereby declare that henceforth, Beethoven's 30th piano sonata is to be considered the unequivocal, incontrovertible pinnacle of all of classical music.


Says who?


----------



## hpowders

Which Matthew are you most passionate about?

1. Matthew Modine

2. Matthew McConaughey

3. St. Matthew

4. Matt Dillon

5. Welcome Door Matt


----------



## hpowders

For those TC members who live in Dodge City, Kansas:

Are you a classical music afficionado desperado?


----------



## hpowders

Which piece of music is your top Reality Winner?

1. Espionage Tango

2. I Spied Suite for Orchestra

3. Leaking Information is Worth Ten Years in Prison, Mambo for Solo Guitar

4. Who's Sorry Now? sung by Connie Francis


----------



## hpowders

TC help section:

Was the pianist's real name Glenn Gould or Glenn Gould Goldberg?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> TC help section:
> 
> Was the pianist's real name Glenn Gould or Glenn Gould Goldberg?


Wait, I thought it was Glenn Gouldberg?


----------



## millionrainbows

*Classical Music Senate Tries to Eliminate "Sanctuary Threads" for Modernism*


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> TC help section:
> 
> Was the pianist's real name Glenn Gould or Glenn Gould Goldberg?


No, his real name was Harvey Schwartz before he changed it.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Classical Music Senate Advocates the Building of a Wall Between Traditional and Modernism*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Senate Still Probing Into Possible Russian Ties to Modernism*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Schoenberg Resigns as Director of Modernism*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Tweets "Modernists Are Losers"*


----------



## hpowders

Which meter would you prefer to be seduced by from a pretty female soloist?

As for me, I would prefer a meter stick, dipped in menthol.


----------



## hpowders

Is it possible that my scratched CD got a mosquito bite and it scratched itself?

I just want to know why.


----------



## millionrainbows

How can I convert my lossless FLAC files into metal masters from the pre-1930s era?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Is it possible that my scratched CD got a mosquito bite and it scratched itself?
> 
> I just want to know why.


No, but maybe the CD got a mosquito byte! Or maybe even a megabyte! :tiphat:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Which Matthew are you most passionate about?
> 
> 1. Matthew Modine
> 
> 2. Matthew McConaughey
> 
> 3. St. Matthew
> 
> 4. Matt Dillon
> 
> 5. Welcome Door Matt


You missed Matt Damon


----------



## Klassik

Suprised pregnancies, one again i ask the kind folks of TC or u advenetureous?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> No, but maybe the CD got a mosquito byte! Or maybe even a megabyte! :tiphat:


That kinda byte
when the moon is full,
explains why I stay at home at nyte
and that ain't no bull.


----------



## hpowders

In your opinion which post hit the highest peak of TC posting?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> In your opinion which post hit the highest peak of TC posting?


Probably something underwear related on Stupid Thread Ideas, yes?


----------



## Jacred

Me: "All the CDs are fine but the box is scratched! The horror!"


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Did Mendelssohn's wife get snogs without words?


----------



## hpowders

The finest unsubstantiated opinion-making poster on TC?


----------



## millionrainbows

*John Cage Testifies Before Church Fathers Committee on Possible Ties of 4'33" to Nothingness and the Devil*


----------



## millionrainbows

*TC Poster Proves by Polling Statistics that Modernism is Disliked by Most Right-Thinking People*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Small Daycare in Utah Links John Cage to Satanism*


----------



## millionrainbows

*I Warn You, Don't Tell Me How to Listen*


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Music that sounds like a picture of a poem, or at least you think sounds like what you imagine a picture of a poem would sound like.


----------



## hpowders

Greetings from Boston!!!

Post no. 1: My favorite classical composers are Mo

The British are coming! The British are coming!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Greetings from Boston!!!
> 
> Post no. 1: My favorite classical composers are Mo
> 
> The British are coming! The British are coming!!


Lets have a Tea Party.....................


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Greetings from Boston!!!
> 
> Post no. 1: My favorite classical composers are Mo
> 
> The British are coming! The British are coming!!


Mo Vaughn?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Lets have a Tea Party.....................


We have a very nice Earl Gray brought over by our British oppressors.....I mean....friends!!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Mo Vaughn?


Mo-tha Washington.


----------



## Klassik

Better than Brahams? I ask you!

It's hard to say, it's very subjective. Some guys like their pretty faces, some hair, some legs, some butts, others brahams.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What are your 50 favorite genres of music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> We have a very nice Earl Gray brought over by our British oppressors.....I mean....friends!!!


Downunder we call them Pommie Ba--tards- but don't tell the wife I said that as she is British- welsh even


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

How to listen unintelligently to black metal...(have undreamed amounts of beer)


----------



## SiegendesLicht

millionrainbows said:


> *Trump Tweets "Modernists Are Losers"*


Wasn't it "Modernists are covfefe..."?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Do you know what you're doing right now?


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Do you know what you're doing right now?


Do I ever? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Downunder we call them Pommie Ba--tards- but don't tell the wife I said that as she is British- welsh even


As long as she isn't rarebitly Welsh.


----------



## hpowders

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Do you know what you're doing right now?


Hi Lorna. How ya Doone?


----------



## hpowders

The last thing you ate that made you sick.

Details?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Would a more scientific term for "black metal" be "metal oxide"?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

hpowders said:


> The last thing you ate that made you sick.
> 
> Details?


Risotto that stayed overnight on the bench. "Home alone easy cooking". DO NOT EVER EAT RICE THAT HAS BEEN IN ROOM TEMPERATURE OVERNIGHT...Had to take a pill to stop it and it stopped for a week...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Ways to do the opposite of managing stress and anxiety


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How can I be a 'cutie patootie'?


----------



## Klassik

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Ways to do the opposite of managing stress and anxiety


AKA the Beethoven method!


----------



## Jacred

^Agreed. Just pour cold water on your head. (Also make sure that you are living on the second floor at least and that the floors are leaky.)


----------



## Jacred

The Lark Descending and Crash Landing in a Swamp


----------



## hpowders

Who determined that three seconds between like-ing posts creates the perfect liking tempo? Why not five seconds? Why not two seconds?

I just want to know why!


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How to stop mysterious itches from occuring on random parts on the body?


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Where is Richannes Wrahms?


----------



## hpowders

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How to stop mysterious itches from occuring on random parts on the body?


Stay away from bordellos and you will be fine.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Says That Non-Harmonic Music Is a Hoax, Despite Proof from Expert Theorists; Pulls Out of Modernism Deal*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Tweets: "It Doesn't Make Sense That You Like Modern Music"*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Tweets: "Why Doesn't Everyone Hate the Same Music I Hate?"*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Calls for Import Ban on All Modernist CDs; Says "This Is Not About Ideology, but the Safety Of Our Ears."*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Trump bans any music that contains traces of truth........ or contains nuts or both!


----------



## dillonp2020

Have politicians on both sides of the atlantic lost their minds?


----------



## dillonp2020

Are Wagner and Wagenaar related?


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump asks Schoenberg, "You're Not Implicating Tonality In All of This, Are You?"*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Declares, "I'm Going to Build a Wall Between Tonality and Modernism, and Tonality is Going to Pay For it!"*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Calls for Ban on the Term "Atonal"*


----------



## millionrainbows

Abraham Lincoln said:


> Where is Richannes Wrahms?


With Johanness Brahms.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Actually, making names up by joining different composers together is NOT a stupid thread idea. It's fun. Robitri Shostaumann f.ex.


----------



## millionrainbows

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Actually, making names up by joining different composers together is NOT a stupid thread idea. It's fun. Robitri Shostaumann f.ex.


Oh, I finally get it! "Richannes Wrahms" is a combination of Richard Wagner and Johannes Brahms!


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Insists He Hears Tonality In 12-Tone Schoenberg*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Tweets: NOBODY Tells Me How To LIsten!!!*


----------



## Klassik

Poll: Who had the worst breath - Bach, Mozart, or Beethoven?


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump Says "If I'm Elected, I'm Turning In Hillary to the Moderators!"*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump: "I'm Banning All Muslims From This Forum!"*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Trump: "These Are NOT Stupid Thread Ideas!!"*


----------



## Vaneyes

Taco bowls, tostadas, tortillas.

Related: Poor taco bowl review

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/vicente-fox-trump_us_593869bfe4b0c5a35c9ba2cc


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Jacred

Should I stop sharing my posts? I've averaged 0.6871 likes per post and I don't think it's worth it anymore...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How many leprechauns does it take to run the British Gov?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

You're on the phone with a friend who is a bit drunk and he wants you to tell him how to tie his tie...


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

How can I get my favourite composer to like me (as in romantically)?


----------



## Totenfeier

Your Top Ten Best Measures in all of classical music


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> You're on the phone with a friend who is a bit drunk and he wants you to tell him how to tie his tie...


As long as its just his tie..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How can I get my favourite composer to like me (as in romantically)?


Offer free wigs


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Best 'Var' composer


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Best 'Var' composer


Urbán de Vargas, duh! 

Finding the best 'Xen' composer might be more difficult though! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Jacred

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Offer free wigs


Hope you have a time machine too, 'cause I don't know how appealing a free wig would be to the average contemporary composer.


----------



## Vaneyes

Wedding party, wedding crasher, wedding cake, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/11/politics/trump-crashes-wedding/index.html


----------



## Vaneyes

Abraham Lincoln said:


> How can I get my favourite composer to like me (as in romantically)?


Utilize Find a Grave?


----------



## dillonp2020

Poll: Beethoven vs Ries 
Poll: Beethoven String Quartets vs Morton Felman's vs Giuseppe Verdi's


----------



## Bettina

dillonp2020 said:


> *Poll: Beethoven vs Ries *
> Poll: Beethoven String Quartets vs Morton Felman's vs Giuseppe Verdi's


Ries was much better than Beethoven at having a normal life! Ries had a wife, several kids, and a stable career. Beethoven had nothing except the certainty that his music would live forever. I'm not sure which life most of us would want to have, if given the choice...


----------



## Klassik

Clementines vs. Hummus 

I'm going with Clementines. They're just little Cuties! 



Bettina said:


> Ries was much better than Beethoven at having a normal life! Ries had a wife, several kids, and a stable career. Beethoven had nothing except the certainty that his music would live forever. I'm not sure which life most of us would want to have, if given the choice...


Poor Ries. He had to hear that nagging wife! Beethoven, OTOH, didn't hear anything. And even if he did, Beethoven could have just taken residence on the toilet to get away from the wife. He had to after all with his irritable bowel disease!

Being married and deaf seems to have many advantages. Of course, one would have to get married first before going deaf. I don't think it'll go well on a date if the deaf man just ignores everything the woman has to say! If I ever get married, remind me to dunk my head in a bowl of water regularly!


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

Klassik said:


> Urbán de Vargas, duh!
> 
> Finding the best 'Xen' composer might be more difficult though! :lol:


I offer the best challenge!

Best ' Beethoven ' Composer.


----------



## Klassik

Gabriel Ortiz said:


> I offer the best challenge!
> 
> Best ' Beethoven ' Composer.


Beethoven's grandfather, Ludwig van Beethoven (aka Ludovicus van Beethoven and Lodewijk van Beethoven), was a noted musician, but I don't know if he actually composed anything. It's too bad the grandson was named Ludwig and not Ludovicus. I think Ludovicus would have been more fitting! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your favourite most significant version of Chop Sticks


----------



## Totenfeier

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favourite most significant version of Chop Sticks


I dunno, but it's gotta be HIP.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Totenfeier said:


> I dunno, but it's gotta be HIP.


Dada chop sticks is my personal favourite


----------



## Bettina

Ludwig = Laboring Under Deafness. Wow, Impressive Genius.


----------



## Bettina

J.S. Bach = Joyful Saint Beautifully Attained Contrapuntal Heights.


----------



## Bettina

Stravinsky = Springtime Thumps, Roars And Violently Injures Nymphs. Spring Kills Youth.


----------



## Bettina

Carmen = Coquettish And Risqué. Mad, Enchanting, Nude.


----------



## Bettina

Tristan = Their Relationship Is Sublime. Trysts At Night.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Carmen = Coquettish And Risqué. Mad, Enchanting, Nude.


Admit it, you just wanted to find a reason to use the word 'Coquettish.' :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Beethoven = Beautiful, Eternal, Emotional. The Holiest Of Vienna's Entire Neighborhood.


----------



## Bettina

Papa Haydn = Powerfully Adventurous Pieces. Analyze His Art, You'll Discover Nirvana.


----------



## Bettina

Schoenberg = Serialism Controlled His Output. Each Note Became Equal. Revolutionary Giant.


----------



## Bettina

Concert = Controller Of Notes, Conductor Emphasizes Right Tempo.


----------



## Bettina

Sonata = Sounds Of Notes, Always Transcending Analysis.


----------



## Bettina

Fugue = Fantastic Undulating Gyroscope, Unified Effect.


----------



## Bettina

Ring Cycle = Richard Idealized Norse Gods. Characters Yell Curses. Lonely Erda.


----------



## Klassik

Poll: How long would Bettina van Beethoven's marriage last? 

I'd say three months. I think she would cope with Ludwig's bad attitude and poor hygiene, but she would draw the line when Ludwig throws her umlaut book across the room in a fit of rage. :lol: I'd imagine Bettina's umlaut book being a Trapper Keeper and we all know the plastic rings in those can't take much abuse! 

Just kidding Bettina, I hope we aren't legitimately hurting your feelings when we make fun of your dead man crush!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Poll: How long would Bettina van Beethoven's marriage last?
> 
> I'd say three months. I think she would cope with Ludwig's bad attitude and poor hygiene, but she would draw the line when Ludwig throws her umlaut book across the room in a fit of rage. :lol: I'd imagine Bettina's umlaut book being a Trapper Keeper and we all know the plastic rings in those can't take much abuse!
> 
> Just kidding Bettina, I hope we aren't legitimately hurting your feelings when we make fun of your dead man crush!


I would gladly sacrifice my umlaut book in exchange for the thrill of being married to the world's greatest composer!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I would gladly sacrifice my umlaut book in exchange for the thrill of being married to the world's greatest composer!


Wow, you're serious! 

I'd probably divorce a supermodel wife (probably less likely to happen than you marrying Beethoven here in 2017!) for scratching one of my el cheapo $4.99 Infinity Digital Vivaldi CDs.  Ok, maybe not, but I'd expect some great makeup loving! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Wow, you're serious!
> 
> I'd probably divorce a supermodel wife (probably less likely to happen than you marrying Beethoven here in 2017!) for scratching one of my el cheapo $4.99 Infinity Digital Vivaldi CDs.  * Ok, maybe not, but I'd expect some great makeup loving! *:devil:


Beethoven's skills as a lover probably weren't that good, so I guess I wouldn't expect any great makeup loving! But it doesn't bother me if his technique in bed leaves something to be desired; I can always practice my fingering while watching him compose! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: How Well Do You Handle Haaaandel's Opus Six


----------



## Art Rock

Do you like these works? Only positive reactions welcome.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Art Rock said:


> Do you like these works? Only positive reactions welcome.


Seems similar to 4'33'' so is fine by me


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What are the 50 best polls on TC? (...or did someone make one already?)


----------



## Pugg

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> What are the 50 best polls on TC? (...or did someone make one already?)


Let's do a poll on that one.


----------



## hpowders

Stop worshipping Beethoven! His halitosis proves he was no god!

Debate. Discuss.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I would gladly sacrifice my umlaut book in exchange for the thrill of being married to the world's greatest composer!


But Bach was already married. Too much potential dissonance!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Poll: How long would Bettina van Beethoven's marriage last?
> 
> I'd say three months. I think she would cope with Ludwig's bad attitude and poor hygiene, but she would draw the line when Ludwig throws her umlaut book across the room in a fit of rage. :lol: I'd imagine Bettina's umlaut book being a Trapper Keeper and we all know the plastic rings in those can't take much abuse!
> 
> Just kidding Bettina, I hope we aren't legitimately hurting your feelings when we make fun of your dead man crush!


Yeah. Maybe a few weeks. He would constantly be trying to play her Bechstein concert grand, leaving her with the out of tune Broadwood.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> But Bach was already married. Too much potential dissonance!


How dare you call Bach the world's greatest composer! Ludwig is very upset about your post. He's stomping on my umlaut book and cursing in fury.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> But Bach was already married. Too much potential dissonance!





Bettina said:


> How dare you call Bach the world's greatest composer! Ludwig is very upset about your post. He's stomping on my umlaut book and cursing in fury.


I'll give Beethoven credit. At least he didn't marry one of his cousins like Bach did. Ok, it was his second cousin, but still. Then again, maybe Beethoven's female cousins didn't even like him! They probably didn't like his bad breath any better than anyone else. Also, his attempts to pretend to be of royal heritage probably wouldn't have convinced his family members! :lol: As far as Bach goes, at least he didn't pull a Rachmaninoff!

I find it very interesting that Bettina has so few diacritic composers in her top 10 list. I think she's disrespecting her own umlaut book!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'll give Beethoven credit. At least he didn't marry one of his cousins like Bach did. Ok, it was his second cousin, but still. Then again, maybe Beethoven's female cousins didn't even like him! They probably didn't like his bad breath any better than anyone else. Also, his attempts to pretend to be of royal heritage probably wouldn't have convinced his family members! :lol: As far as Bach goes, at least he didn't pull a Rachmaninoff!
> 
> I find it very interesting that Bettina has so few diacritic composers in her top 10 list. I think she's disrespecting her own umlaut book!


Dvořák and Saint-Saëns almost make it into my top 10. I would have been very happy to marry either of them, so that I could have a diacritical last name!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Dvořák and Saint-Saëns almost make it into my top 10. I would have been very happy to marry either of them, so that I could have a diacritical last name!


Well, I think you can eliminate Saint-Saëns off your marriage list! :lol: Might as well scratch Tchaikovsky off the list too!

As for Dvořák, well, he actually seemed to enjoy married life. A classical musician who actually enjoys marriage? Dvořák was some kind of weirdo! Respighi too! Dvořák would probably make the best husband, but he's taken!

How would you like the last name of Bądarzewska-Baranowska? I can find out if Tekla is available! She may not go for it, but who knows!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Well, I think you can eliminate Saint-Saëns off your marriage list! :lol: Might as well scratch Tchaikovsky off the list too!
> 
> As for Dvořák, well, he actually seemed to enjoy married life. A classical musician who actually enjoys marriage? Dvořák was some kind of weirdo! Respighi too! Dvořák would probably make the best husband, but he's taken!
> 
> How would you like the last name of Bądarzewska-Baranowska? I can find out if Tekla is available! She may not go for it, but who knows!


Bądarzewska-Baranowska is too long and complicated! I would never be able to remember it. I need something pithy like Dvořák or Fauré!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Bądarzewska-Baranowska is too long and complicated! I would never be able to remember it. I need something pithy like Dvořák or Fauré!


Maybe Zoltán Kodály should be on the list. He's certainly relevant as a music educator like yourself. Both his first name and last name have diacritics. Plus, you'd have a husband named Zoltán! 

How about those early music composers who only have one name? I think it would be awesome to have a single name! Or you can be like Záviš of Zápy. I think Klassik of Houston sounds pretty good to me!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Fugue = Fantastic Undulating Gyroscope, Unified Effect.


Einstein would approval I think


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Stop worshipping Beethoven! His halitosis proves he was no god!
> 
> Debate. Discuss.


Does the debate come with gas masks?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How many versions of chop sticks do you own?

Euphemia Allen should be priased much more!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> How dare you call Bach the world's greatest composer! Ludwig is very upset about your post. He's stomping on my umlaut book and cursing in fury.


I plead temporary insanity brought on by disorientation due to an adjustment from Eastern to Pacific time zone. 
My posts can no longer be considered paragons of unverifiable, questionable opinions.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How many versions of chop sticks do you own?
> 
> Euphemia Allen should be priased much more!


I prefer the Rubinstein performance. He adds just the right touch of rubato. Pure poetry.


----------



## hpowders

Would Beethoven be an unknown composer today if his composing efforts had been hampered by working in the Pacific Time Zone?
Please. No unsubstantiable opinions.
Sources? Footnotes? Bibliography?


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Baroque composer photo albums?
No Photoshopping, please.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Would Beethoven be an unknown composer today if his composing efforts had been hampered by working in the Pacific Time Zone?
> Please. No unsubstantiable opinions.
> Sources? Footnotes? Bibliography?


No, the Pacific Time Zone wouldn't have harmed Beethoven in the slightest. I live in this time zone and it hasn't hampered the visionary brilliance of my STI posts!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What's your favorite piece from the Jurassic period? Any time zone is permitted.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> What's your favorite piece from the Jurassic period? Any time zone is permitted.


Not sure I should reply to this one, could give my age away!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No, the Pacific Time Zone wouldn't have harmed Beethoven in the slightest. I live in this time zone and it hasn't hampered the visionary brilliance of my STI posts!


Pacific Time wouldn't have done anything to Beethoven, but those California girls!  That's a different story altogether!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> No, the Pacific Time Zone wouldn't have harmed Beethoven in the slightest. I live in this time zone and it hasn't hampered the visionary brilliance of my STI posts!


You were born into the PTZ and didn't know there were other, more stimulating time zones. Same deal if Beethoven had been born and lived his life in California.

But! But! What if Beethoven's dad got a bad case of California Dreaming and moved there from Bonn when Ludwig was only 16?
He may have been writing Beach Boy albums instead.

Yeah! Now tell me this could never happen!


----------



## hpowders

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> What's your favorite piece from the Jurassic period? Any time zone is permitted.


Dinah Shore. "See the USA in your Chevrolet...."

Look it up.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> But! But! What if Beethoven's dad got a bad case of California Dreaming and moved there from Bonn when Ludwig was only 16?
> He may have been writing Beach Boy albums instead.
> 
> Yeah! Now tell me this could never happen!


What if they settled in Bakersfield? He might have sounded like Merle Haggard!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Beethoven in Peru...


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Beethoven in Peru...


Peru, Indiana? The "Circus Capital of the World?" It sounds like Beethoven's kind of place!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Beethoven at McDonalds after cleaning up at the circus...


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Beethoven at McDonalds after cleaning up at the circus...












If Beethoven lived in McDonaldland, which character would he be?

I'm going with Grimace, but he could be Captain Crook or the Hamburglar. Then again, he'd probably throw the Hamburglar across the room.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> If Beethoven lived in McDonaldland, which character would he be?
> 
> I'm going with Grimace, but he could be Captain Crook or the Hamburglar. Then again, he'd probably throw the Hamburglar across the room.


I'm not sure about Beethoven, but Mozart would probably be Ronald McDonald!


----------



## Bettina

For those of you who have a crystal ball and can see the future, here's a poll for you:
What will be the best symphonies of the 22nd century?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> For those of you who have a crystal ball and can see the future, here's a poll for you:
> What will be the best symphonies of the 22nd century?


I think they'll be able to clone Beethoven, Mozart, and Haydn by then. Perhaps they can cross-breed the three of them. Wouldn't that be interesting!


----------



## Klassik

Haybeezart: The dignity of Haydn, the emotion of Beethoven, and the bowel movements of Mozart! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Haybeezart: The dignity of Haydn, the emotion of Beethoven, and the bowel movements of Mozart! :lol:


Mozart loved to joke about scatological issues, but I think Beethoven was the one with the dramatic bowel movements! A true "multi-movement" genius!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Mozart loved to joke about scatological issues, but I think Beethoven was the one with the dramatic bowel movements! A true "multi-movement" genius!


Beethoven's most dramatic slow movements may have been on the toilet! Or were those the fast movements? Who knows!

It is my contention that it is his irritable bowl disease that caused him the most grief. Can you imagine how bad it would be if you couldn't take a good poop? Deafness isn't a good thing, but I don't think Beethoven wanted to hear most of the people around him anyway!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What are your 10 favorite tone rows?


----------



## Klassik

Speaking of Beethoven and McDonald's...






...Bettina, was that you in 1986?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Speaking of Beethoven and McDonald's...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...Bettina, was that you in 1986?


Great commercial! My parents hate fast food, so I never got to go to McDonalds after a piano recital. Being the California hippies that we are, we would usually go to some kind of health food restaurant for salmon or tofu with couscous (quinoa wasn't a thing back then)! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Great commercial! My parents hate fast food, so I never got to go to McDonalds after a piano recital. Being the California hippies that we are, we would usually go to some kind of health food restaurant for salmon or tofu with couscous (quinoa wasn't a thing back then)! :lol:


 That sounds terrible! My sincerest apologies! Well, I guess you could sing about couscous and tofu then. I'm not so sure if Beethoven would approve though. I'd imagine him being the kind who would have McDonald's wrappers and half eaten hamburgers all over his house!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> That sounds terrible! My sincerest apologies! Well, I guess you could sing about couscous and tofu then. I'm not so sure if Beethoven would approve though. I'd imagine him being the kind who would have McDonald's wrappers and half eaten hamburgers all over his house!


Yeah, at the time I was pretty miserable about having to eat tofu and couscous. :lol: Now, though, I'm actually glad that my parents taught me healthy eating habits from an early age. It's helped me keep my weight under control - and that's important, because I'll need to be able to fit into those 19th-century corsets when I travel back in time to meet Beethoven!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, at the time I was pretty miserable about having to eat tofu and couscous. :lol: Now, though, I'm actually glad that my parents taught me healthy eating habits from an early age. It's helped me keep my weight under control - and that's important, because I'll need to be able to fit into those 19th-century corsets when I travel back in time to meet Beethoven!


What came with the Happy Meals at your house? A rice cake? :lol:

I actually used to like rice cakes when I was little. I used to ask my mom to buy them. Then again, I used to eat plain bread and rice as snacks when I was young. I have no problem eating hamburgers now, but I've never been a huge eater. It helps me keep my nice toothpick figure.  I've read a physical description of Rameau. It sounds like me!

I know, I know. A skinny Texan? Who knew!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Which would be your Twenty second choice of country?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Favorite composer whose name starts with a symbol


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

penguins as composers


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

bach visits a radio telescope


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Listening Intelligently to All Music II


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Best piano concertos of the 2nd century


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Poll: Your favourite elections shambles*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

9th century Gallic opera


----------



## Vaneyes

Polling, piling, pitting, peeling, panning, pairing, pulling, pooling.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Polling, piling, pitting, peeling, panning, pairing, pulling, pooling.


You left out Donald Trumps favorite past time P---ing


----------



## Vaneyes

Tofu, snafu, or guru. And explain why.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Is this a poll?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

How many symphonies can you listen to in 20 minutes?


----------



## Klassik

Which classical music works cause you to go through the most number of pantyliners?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Which classical music works cause you to go through the most number of pantyliners?


Beethoven's heroic-style works really do it for me! Especially Symphonies 3 and 5, the Emperor Concerto, and the Appassionata Sonata.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Beethoven's heroic-style works really do it for me! Especially Symphonies 3 and 5, the Emperor Concerto, and the Appassionata Sonata.


I think that you should start a blog where you rate classical music by the number of pantyliners you go through while listening to the music. You'd probably be a lot of people's favorite critic! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I think that you should start a blog where you rate classical music by the number of pantyliners you go through while listening to the music. You'd probably be a lot of people's favorite critic! :lol:


That's a great idea for a rating system - but only women would be able to use it! I wonder what system men could use instead?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's a great idea for a rating system - but only women would be able to use it! I wonder what system men could use instead?


The number of erections during a listening session? That's not a very reliable method though. Someone might fall asleep through a boring piece and wake up with morning/afternoon/evening wood. That shouldn't count, should it? :lol:

Besides, we all know a picture of a hot soloist in the liner notes might influence the results. For some people, the sight of a tunnel or a hill might be enough. I'd like to think that I'm past that stage though!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> The number of erections during a listening session? That's not a very reliable method though. Someone might fall asleep through a boring piece and wake up with morning/afternoon/evening wood. That shouldn't count, should it? :lol:
> 
> *Besides, we all know a picture of a hot soloist in the liner notes might influence the results.* For some people, the sight of a tunnel or a hill might be enough. I'd like to think that I'm past that stage though!


Yeah, or a picture of a woman playing the clarinet...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, or a picture of a woman playing the clarinet...


Oh yeah, that would certainly do it! This would too:










:devil:

If you ever do the pantyliner reviews, you should call the blog the "Pantyliner Notes by Bettina."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is there a strict definition for what is classical music?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Greatest Roadie of all Time


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Best timpani concertos of the 20th century


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite Bettina's Passion


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite Fake News


----------



## MoonlightSonata

Top 10 Silent Works


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Favourite Inch


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Favorite composer who you have forgotten


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Proposal for yet another new proposal


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Technical STI help


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I'm pretending Common Practice always happens


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Having trouble painting in Composers forum


----------



## Vaneyes

Phony, fake news, witch hunt, zero proof, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Favourite Bettina's Passion





EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Favourite Inch


Would it be presumptuous of me to assume that Bettina's favorite passion is not also her favorite inch? :devil:

Of course, we're not really sure how well endowed Beethoven was, are we? :lol:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Favorite composer who you have forgotten


It's what's his face....I think he's German. Or Russian. Maybe Montenegrin?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Would it be presumptuous of me to assume that Bettina's favorite passion is not also her favorite inch? :devil:
> 
> *Of course, we're not really sure how well endowed Beethoven was, are we? * :lol:


Probably 9 inches, corresponding to his 9 symphonies! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

^Beethoven started a new trend where composers wrote the number of symphonies that matched their size. That's why Brahms and Schumann were only able to write four each!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Probably 9 inches, corresponding to his 9 symphonies! :lol:


What was the standard of measurement used in Europe at the time? It could have been 9 cm! Well, that would be hard to believe, but I always feel good about myself after seeing Michelangelo's _David_ and other similar sculptures. :lol:



Bettina said:


> ^Beethoven started a new trend where composers wrote the number of symphonies that matched their size. That's why Brahms and Schumann were only able to write four each!


And Wagner only wrote one! No wonder he was so grumpy! :lol:

Are we sure Haydn and Mozart aren't kings then? What about Leif Segerstam! No wonder he looks like Jolly ole Santa Claus! :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Whopper, Big King, Big Mac, Belly Bruiser, In-N-Out, Big Devil, Beefy, Buckhorn, all of the above, maybe, I'm scared to.


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


> Whopper, Big King, Big Mac, Belly Bruiser, In-N-Out, Big Devil, Beefy, Buckhorn, all of the above, maybe, I'm scared to.


All of that and much, much more! :devil: Don't forget about the Jumbo Jack. One thing is for sure though, there's no tofu or quinoa down there! There might be some carrot juice though. 

You just never know what you'll find on Stupid Thread Ideas, huh?


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> All of that and much, much more! :devil: Don't forget about the Jumbo Jack. One thing is for sure though, there's no tofu or quinoa down there! There might be some carrot juice though.
> 
> You just never know what you'll find on Stupid Thread Ideas, huh?


Yep, and Beef Jerky is overrated.


----------



## Bettina

Vaneyes said:


> Yep, and Beef Jerky is overrated.


Is that a double entendre?


----------



## millionrainbows

"Maybe if I close my eyes really tight, and click my heels together, Common Practice won't exist!"


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> Is that a double entendre?


Is "double entendre" a triple entendre? "Double?" "Tendre?"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

http://www.talkclassical.com changes to [url]www.talkstupid.com [/URL]


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Hot shoes......... But getting smelly


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Is there a strict definition for what is atonal?

I'm satisfied with AB class Tonal, A class tonal is too pure for me and generates too much heat!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Streaming music HiFi Help line

Does my downloaded classical music sound better if I use gold interconnects for my internet connection?


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Streaming music HiFi Help line
> 
> Does my downloaded classical music sound better if I use gold interconnects for my internet connection?


Well, you can get this $10,000 silver audiophile grade Ethernet cable. But, hey, you better spend the extra $20,000 for gold or else your Varese might end up sounding like Bananarama.

https://arstechnica.com/staff/2015/02/to-the-audiophile-this-10000-ethernet-cable-apparently-makes-sense/

♫_Goddess on the mountain top
Burning like a silver flame
The summit of beauty and love
And Pen*s was her name

She's got it
Yeah, baby, she's got it
I'm your Pen*s, I'm your fire
At your desire
Well, I'm your Pen*s, I'm your fire
At your desire_
_
Well, that's what I always hear at least when I hear that song._


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Well, you can get this $10,000 silver audiophile grade Ethernet cable. But, hey, you better spend the extra $20,000 for gold or else your Varese might end up sounding like Bananarama.
> 
> https://arstechnica.com/staff/2015/...-10000-ethernet-cable-apparently-makes-sense/
> 
> ♫_Goddess on the mountain top
> Burning like a silver flame
> The summit of beauty and love
> And Pen*s was her name
> 
> She's got it
> Yeah, baby, she's got it
> I'm your Pen*s, I'm your fire
> At your desire
> Well, I'm your Pen*s, I'm your fire
> At your desire_
> _
> Well, that's what I always hear at least when I hear that song._


:lol: I hope you don't sing that out loud in a public place

Actually reminds me of a receptionists we once had who would answer the phone saying "fu*k you, you've called abc company, how may I help you" really quickly so it sounded like she was saying thank you .......


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> :lol: I hope you don't sing that out loud in a public place


Wait, I shouldn't be singing that? It's my favorite pick up song when I meet hot women! 

Then again, I don't know if it would be a goddess. 
Stupid Thread Idea - Pole: Do Genitals Have a Gender?



> Actually reminds me of a receptionists we once had who would answer the phone saying "fu*k you, you've called abc company, how may I help you" really quickly so it sounded like she was saying thank you .......


This is an Australian thing though, right?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

ALIENS AMONG US!!! Who are their best composers?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> ALIENS AMONG US!!! Who are their best composers?


Stockhausen has left the building!


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Stockhausen has left the building!


As did Xenaxis


----------



## Klassik

Pugg said:


> As did Xenaxis


Xenaxis is part of the Axis of Evil, right?


----------



## Pugg

Klassik said:


> Xenaxis is part of the Axis of Evil, right?


Let's do a poll about it.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> Let's do a poll about it.


Ok, you take the north and I'll take the south - lets meet back half way say Jamaica and see who got the most!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What is the best symphony? Be objective.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> What is the best symphony? Be objective.


Pre or post 1900


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Pre or post 1900


Doesn't matter, just be objective!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Doesn't matter, just be objective!


Ok so post 2020 is ok?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

That's the kind of matter that doesn't


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I predict that an alien being will tranmit a symphony on 2020 around july 12 at approximately 2.35pm EST,that will prove that Stockhausen was from Sirius and it will be the best...........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^^ Was that Objective enough................?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


>


hm...What a dick!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Actually I miss a serious series of polls! (There really was one.) Guess I'll do with toiletpaper


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Actually I miss a serious series of polls! (There really was one.) Guess I'll do with toiletpaper


Meet me in Jamaica we can compare notes


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

I was actually born in deep rural Jamaica and came to Kingston as a high school girl. What's your secret? :angel:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I was actually born in deep rural Jamaica and came to Kingston as a high school girl. What's your secret? :angel:


Just call me NostraEddie


----------



## Klassik

An STI for the ladies: Is Günter "Magic" Wand the Greatest Beethoven Conductor?


----------



## Jacred

What is it about page 1 of threads? I can't seem to get into them.


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> What is it about page 1 of threads? I can't seem to get into them.


Page 1 is where everybody posts about music. Page 2 is where everybody starts talking about my panties. And by page 3, I've usually taken my panties off!


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> What is it about page 1 of threads? I can't seem to get into them.





Bettina said:


> Page 1 is where everybody posts about music. Page 2 is where everybody starts talking about my panties. And by page 3, I've usually taken my panties off!


Page 1? What's that? I wouldn't even notice if there were problems with first pages here on TC. Clearly, I'm only interested in pages 2+! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Poll: Beethoven vs. Vivaldi



















Who do you have? The Bonn Bomber or The Red Priest?

I think we know which one Bettina is picking! For all the talk about Bettina's panties, we still have no idea what kind of panties she wears. HIPsters? Who knows! I think a top 10 ranking will be needed! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Poll: Beethoven vs. Vivaldi
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Who do you have? The Bonn Bomber or The Red Priest?
> 
> I think we know which one Bettina is picking! For all the talk about Bettina's panties, we still have no idea what kind of panties she wears. HIPsters? Who knows! I think a top 10 ranking will be needed! :devil:


It depends* on the day. Haha, I basically need a flow chart to summarize which panties I wear in various situations. Sometimes thongs, on days when I'm wearing tight pants and I don't want a visible panty line. If I'm wearing a skirt/dress, then I often do wear hipsters. And of course, during my period, I often wear an old pair of granny panties because I don't want to mess up any nice pairs of panties in case of a bloody accident!**

*I don't mean _depends _in that sense...I'm not that old yet!! :lol:

**Bloody in the literal sense, not the metaphorical UK sense of the word.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It depends* on the day. Haha, I basically need a flow chart to summarize which panties I wear in various situations. Sometimes thongs, on days when I'm wearing tight pants and I don't want a visible panty line. If I'm wearing a skirt/dress, then I often do wear hipsters. And of course, during my period, I often wear an old pair of granny panties because I don't want to mess up any nice pairs of panties in case of a bloody accident!**
> 
> *I don't mean _depends _in that sense...I'm not that old yet!!
> 
> **Bloody in the literal sense, not the metaphorical UK sense of the word.


You know, it's assumed that women have more difficult decisions to make when it comes to undergarments than us men. I challenge that premise though. I have difficult decisions to make each morning: nice underwear that has been purchased sometime in the last decade or so, underwear with holes in them, or commando!  I could go on with further details, but I'm sure just about every TCer here would consider my underwear to be "unmentionables." :lol:

Hopefully you don't play any Baroque music on the piano while wearing a dress with hipsters underneath!  That would be unholy! Heck, it would be unholy even if you were wearing a thong! Air on the G String is meant to be played on the harpsichord! 

Historically Informed Panties (HIP) - Granny panties for periods based on time. This is one HIP that I'm not interested in!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You know, it's assumed that women have more difficult decisions to make when it comes to undergarments than us men. I challenge that premise though. *I have difficult decisions to make each morning: nice underwear that has been purchased sometime in the last decade or so, underwear with holes in them, or commando! *  I could go on with further details, but I'm sure just about every TCer here would consider my underwear to be "unmentionables." :lol:
> 
> Hopefully you don't play any Baroque music on the piano while wearing a dress with hipsters underneath!  That would be unholy! Heck, it would be unholy even if you were wearing a thong! Air on the G String is meant to be played on the harpsichord!
> 
> Historically Informed Panties (HIP) - Granny panties for periods based on time. This is one HIP that I'm not interested in!


You haven't answered the burning question that's on everyone's minds: boxers or briefs? (Or maybe you did address that all-important topic in a previous post, and I somehow missed it!)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You haven't answered the burning question that's on everyone's minds: boxers or briefs? (Or maybe you did address that all-important topic in a previous post, and I somehow missed it!)


I hate boxers. They always bunch up and need adjustment. On top of that, they tend to jab me in the nuts. No thanks! Although the idea of giving my guys some breathing room is intriguing, the drawbacks of boxers lead me to turn to the comforting support of briefs! 

There is another option, the hybrid boxer-brief. I have a few of these genetically modified "oddballs." They're better than boxers, but they are still a little too excessive for my tastes. Plus, good ole boxers shape my butt better I think! Someone with a skinny butt like I have needs all the help I can get! 

I think I have successfully scared the entire membership of TC. Sorry about that, but I had to answer the question!


----------



## Bettina

TC should have an underwear sub-forum.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> TC should have an underwear sub-forum.


Which include new and interesting uses for conductor's batons


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which include new and interesting uses for conductor's batons


I would have to take off my panties for that!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

YOWZA, YOWZA, YOWZA! I got it all together now, with my very own ...... clothes.


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which include new and interesting uses for conductor's batons





Bettina said:


> I would have to take off my panties for that!


Which conductor has/had the best baton? Lully had his big staff. It was so big, it killed him! :lol: On the other end of the spectrum, you have Gergiev's toothpick. Which one would lead to the most panty removing?

I still say Günter and his Magic Wand will win!


----------



## Jacred

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which include new and interesting uses for conductor's batons


Which baton...?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Which conductor has/had the best baton? Lully had his big staff. It was so big, it killed him! :lol: On the other end of the spectrum, you have Gergiev's toothpick. Which one would lead to the most panty removing?
> 
> I still say Günter and his Magic Wand will win!


I don't know about the best baton, but Bernstein was the sexiest conductor in my opinion. Of course, he wasn't interested in using his baton on women, but that doesn't stop me from fantasizing about him! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I don't know about the best baton, but Bernstein was the sexiest conductor in my opinion. Of course, he wasn't interested in using his baton on women, but that doesn't stop me from fantasizing about him! :lol:


He was interested in showing his baton to women before he wasn't! :lol:

Not that I would want to see this if it was being conducted by a man, but I wonder if there has ever been a naked orchestra?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> He was interested in showing his baton to women before he wasn't! :lol:
> 
> Not that I would want to see this if it was being conducted by a man, but I wonder if there has ever been a naked orchestra?


Good idea! The women could have fun with the woodwind instruments during the intermission (and even during extended rests in the music).


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Good idea! The women could have fun with the woodwind instruments during the intermission (and even during extended rests in the music).


The Magic Flute, huh? 

I'd pay good money to see that!


----------



## Art Rock

Bettina said:


> Good idea! The women could have fun with the woodwind instruments during the intermission (and even during extended rests in the music).


Bring out the bassoons!


----------



## Art Rock

Klassik said:


> Not that I would want to see this if it was being conducted by a man, but I wonder if there has ever been a naked orchestra?


There has been, and it is on video. I think it was discussed here years ago in a thread on nudity in opera. A Japanese all female orchestra with female director. I'm sure you could find it on YouTube.


----------



## Klassik

Art Rock said:


> There has been, and it is on video. I think it was discussed here years ago in a thread on nudity in opera. A Japanese all female orchestra with female director. I'm sure you could find it on YouTube.


I'll have to look this one up. It certainly sounds more promising than that banana commercial you shared with us earlier! :lol:

Stupid Thread Idea: Would groaning caused by a woman playing with herself with her woodwind instrument be considered instrumental music or singing? Concerto for D*ldo and orchestra? Or did Donna Summer already do that?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Donna Summer only faked it, but at least 15 times in 15 minutes


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'll have to look this one up. It certainly sounds more promising than that banana commercial you shared with us earlier! :lol:
> 
> Stupid Thread Idea: Would groaning caused by a woman playing with herself with her woodwind instrument be considered instrumental music or singing? Concerto for D*ldo and orchestra? Or did Donna Summer already do that?


It would be considered wordless singing, like the chorus in Daphnis et Chloé (wow, that sexy accent mark in Chloé is turning me on!) :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

*Inappropriate Thread Ideas

Can you think of any?*


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> *Inappropriate Thread Ideas
> 
> Can you think of any?*


The real question is whether I can think of any _appropriate _thread ideas!


----------



## Vaneyes

Lemony Snicket, lickety split, Schenectady, horn o plenty, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Vaneyes

Captain Winky, Chairman Mao, Corporal of the Guard, Godzilla, Harry Johnson, John Thomas, Mr. Happy. Preference for, and explain why.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> Which baton...?


Baton Rouge......................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Captain Winky, Chairman Mao, Corporal of the Guard, Godzilla, Harry Johnson, John Thomas, Mr. Happy. Preference for, and explain why.


Godzilla wins even time


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> The real question is whether I can think of any _appropriate _thread ideas!


I can't .................... beats me!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Donna Summer only faked it, but at least 15 times in 15 minutes


What type of baton did she use......... probably a big conductor too!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Listening with bad intent to Atonal Music IIV


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> *Inappropriate Thread Ideas
> 
> Can you think of any?*


I've only started around 5 threads on TC. One was on the New Members - Introduction forum. Two were technical posts regarding CDs. One was the famous (in my mind at least) "Classical Music and the Toilet" thread. Then there is the first "real" post I made. I think I posted it on my first day here. It's called "Victoria's Secret: Bras, panties, and classical music records." That thread was a foreshadowing of the underwear related discussions to come! :lol:

http://www.talkclassical.com/48026-victorias-secret-bras-panties.html



Bettina said:


> The real question is whether I can think of any _appropriate _thread ideas!


Bettina, you never replied to that thread, but I suspect that you would indeed buy classical music at Victoria's Secret. 



Bettina said:


> It would be considered wordless singing, like the chorus in Daphnis et Chloé (wow, that sexy accent mark in Chloé is turning me on!)


You're just rubbing it in (perhaps not literally this time :lol that I don't use the 'é' in my last name, huh?

Chloé is a pretty erotic name though, isn't it?



Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Donna Summer only faked it, but at least 15 times in 15 minutes


Yes, that's the one! 15 fakes, huh? Her boyfriend/husband must think he's Ron Jeremy or something!  But there's an example of great pop music in case someone wants an example!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Listening Intelligently to Non-Atonal Music II
_With this information in mind, listen to the music as "non-gestures."



_


----------



## hpowders

Half-Price Sale!!!

Heard Leontyne Price recently. Only half what she was.


----------



## hpowders

Page Three TC Thread Decoder. Free with the purchase of two My Pillows.

Free shipping when mentioning the code mu6cVWöb974É15.307.


----------



## Vaneyes

Hung low, low hung, hang on, cling on, don't know, don't care.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Hung low, low hung, hang on, cling on, don't know, don't care.


Hung low, sweet chariot?


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Poll/Ranking Idea: What are your favorite classical music pieces about gall stones?

I'm listening to the CDs I just purchased of Marin Marais' Pièces de violes, Book V. _Le Tableau de l'Operation de la Taille_ (The Bladder-Stone Operation) is part of Suite 7 of Book V. It's apparently music about Marais undergoing surgery to remove gall stones. I've come across some French music about oddball subjects, but this might be the oddest of the bunch! :lol: Obviously it was no laughing matter to Marais at the time, but it seems that the surgery was a success.


----------



## Scopitone

What's a universally disliked piece of music that you also dislike?


----------



## arpeggio

*Bach or Beethoven*

Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.

What... is your name?

arpeggio

What... is your favorite color?

Red

Who... is a greater composer, Bach or Beethoven?

Bach. No, Beethoven. No, Bach. Auuuuuuuugh.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Hung low, low hung, hang on, cling on, don't know, don't care.


I see Kling-on


----------



## arpeggio

Composers you dislike, you do not care if others like but you still like to complain about them :scold:


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> What's a universally disliked piece of music that you also dislike?


Easy. The Pachelbel Canon.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I see Kling-on


Spot on!


----------



## hpowders

Which are you?

Post no. 1: There are TV doctors and real doctors. So, are you a real poster or a make-believe poster?

Note: This thread is shielded by a cloaking device. Nobody can see your post but you, so fire away!


----------



## hpowders

If I was desperate and had no social life, I would probably marry Beethoven.

Which classical music figure would you marry, if you were desperate?


----------



## Vaneyes

Play, movie, TV, Book, Scrabble, pocket pool, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.latimes.com/nation/nationnow/la-na-shakespeare-trump-20170617-story.html


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> If I was desperate and had no social life, I would probably marry Beethoven.
> 
> Which classical music figure would you marry, if you were desperate?


The Elbphilharmonie. I could attend a lot of concerts that way.


----------



## Scopitone

Vaneyes said:


> Play, movie, TV, Book, Scrabble, pocket pool, don't know, don't care.
> 
> Related:
> 
> http://www.latimes.com/nation/nationnow/la-na-shakespeare-trump-20170617-story.html


Which play's plot should we misunderstand and thus wrongly protest next?


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> If I was desperate and had no social life, I would probably marry Beethoven.
> 
> Which classical music figure would you marry, if you were desperate?


I guess if I were desperate enough, I would consent to marrying Hilary Hahn.


----------



## Vaneyes

Scopitone said:


> Which play's plot should we misunderstand and thus wrongly protest next?


All's Well That Ends Well.


----------



## Scopitone

Vaneyes said:


> All's Well That Ends Well.


Twelfth Night - all that crossdressing and implied gayness would make them crazy.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> If I was desperate and had no social life, I would probably marry Beethoven.
> 
> Which classical music figure would you marry, if you were desperate?


Oh, I don't know. I'll go with Rossini's 2nd wife, Olympe Pélissier. Why? There's a painting of one of her bare boobs on Wikipedia. That's as good of a reason as anything else though, right? 

Also from Wikipedia:



> She and Rossini first met in the 1830s in the aftermath of his separation from his first wife Isabella Colbran. Olympe began to cook for him and manage his business affairs, although they only married after Isabella's death in 1845, on August 16, 1846.


She knew that food was the way into Rossini's heart! :lol:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympe_Pélissier


----------



## Vaneyes

Scopitone said:


> Twelfth Night - all that crossdressing and implied gayness would make them crazy.


Crossdressing, SNL endearment--Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon. Wondering how much of the protagonist's psyche is yet to/can be revealed.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> If I was desperate and had no social life, I would probably marry Beethoven.
> 
> Which classical music figure would you marry, if you were desperate?


Beethoven is definitely my first choice!! Runners-up include Liszt and Bernstein.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Beethoven is definitely my first choice!! Runners-up include Liszt and Bernstein.


I knew you would have Liszt-o-mania! The advantage of Liszt over Beethoven is that you would not need to keep a bottle of Lisztorine around! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I knew you would have Liszt-o-mania! The advantage of Liszt over Beethoven is that you would not need to keep a bottle of Lisztorine around! :lol:


Yes, and Liszt was probably better with his fingers too! 

However, with Beethoven there would be the advantage of being able to moan and scream as loudly as I want, without him asking me to keep my voice down! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, and Liszt was probably better with his fingers too!
> 
> However, with Beethoven there would be the advantage of being able to moan and scream as loudly as I want, without him asking me to keep my voice down!


Liszt seemed a little more...erotic...than Beethoven. With Beethoven, you might have been doing your fingering exercises solo!

On another note, why don't we have any dancing banana emoticons?

There's the standard one:









The I'd hit it banana of course:









The poop banana (useful for Klassik posts of course):









Dancing banana with bagpipes:









Dancing jazz banana (though to me it looks like the banana is playing with himself):


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Liszt seemed a little more...erotic...than Beethoven. With Beethoven, you might have been doing your fingering exercises solo!
> 
> On another note, why don't we have any dancing banana emoticons?
> 
> There's the standard one:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The I'd hit it banana of course:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The poop banana (useful for Klassik posts of course):
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dancing banana with bagpipes:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Dancing jazz banana (though to me it looks like the banana is playing with himself):


Those emoticons aren't showing up on my screen! Maybe the TC software has blocked and censored them because they're too suggestive.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Those emoticons aren't showing up on my screen! Maybe the TC software has blocked and censored them because they're too suggestive.


Leave it to your Apple to ban my bananas! :lol:

Well, here's a link to the dancing bananas: http://www.sherv.net/banana-emoticons.html


----------



## Art Rock

I see them. Maybe the censorship software is gender specific.....


----------



## Vaneyes

Home hunt, turkey shoot, witch hunt, fox hunt, clay shoot, crap shoot, other. Preference, explain why.


----------



## Bettina

Art Rock said:


> I see them. Maybe the censorship software is gender specific.....


Yes, it looks like the software is trying to protect my virgin eyes* from being corrupted!

*This is a joke. I can assure you that I am not genuinely a candidate for sacrifice in the Rite of Spring!!:lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Banana, zucchini, cucumber, English cucumber, strawberry. Don't know, don't care.


----------



## Bettina

Vaneyes said:


> Banana, zucchini, cucumber, English cucumber, strawberry. Don't know, don't care.


I like its shape, but it might be too soft to serve any useful purpose!


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> I like its shape, but it might be too soft to serve any useful purpose!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, it looks like the software is trying to protect my virgin eyes* from being corrupted!
> 
> *This is a joke. I can assure you that I am not genuinely a candidate for sacrifice in the Rite of Spring!!:lol:


Well, we can scratch you off Bruckner's liszt then! Not that you'd care about that though! :lol:



Vaneyes said:


> Banana, zucchini, cucumber, English cucumber, strawberry. Don't know, don't care.


Well, there goes the gender based blocking idea or else I wouldn't be seeing this!  But, anyway, that's one oddly shaped plant ovary!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Liszt seemed a little more...erotic...than Beethoven. With Beethoven, you might have been doing your fingering exercises solo!...


I agree that Beethoven probably wasn't a great lover. But he turns me on anyway, because of the force of his genius! I don't care if his head "down below" wasn't as brilliant as his head "up above." :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Should I start a thread in the "technical help" forum, asking why I'm not able to see the banana icons?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I agree that Beethoven probably wasn't a great lover. But he turns me on anyway, because of the force of his genius! I don't care if his head "down below" wasn't as brilliant as his head "up above." :lol:


Unlike most men (including myself), I guess Beethoven didn't do his best thinking down south! :lol:



Bettina said:


> Should I start a thread in the "technical help" forum, asking why I'm not able to see the banana icons?


Well, do you or do you not want to see my banana? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Unlike most men (including myself), I guess Beethoven didn't do his best thinking down south! :lol:
> 
> Well, do you or do you not want to see my banana? :devil:


Maybe I need to try another browser. Firefox might help me see the images that would light my fox on fire! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Maybe I need to try another browser. Firefox might help me see the images that would light my fox on fire! :lol:




I use a browser based on Firefox called SeaMonkey. I assure TC, however, that any real Sea-Monkey I have is not a shrimp! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I use a browser based on Firefox called SeaMonkey. I assure TC, however, that any real Sea-Monkey I have is not a shrimp! :devil:


I assure TC that my fox is not too furry! I try to keep up with my grooming (although Beethoven probably wouldn't care if I had a wild bush down there, considering the state of the hair on his head!) :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I assure TC that my fox is not too furry! I try to keep up with my grooming (although Beethoven probably wouldn't care if I had a wild bush down there, considering the state of the hair on his head!) :lol:


I can't speak for Beethoven, but I assure you that I don't like Bush! :lol:

We won't get into Klassik's hairiness though. I'll spare the forum this time! 

So I guess the Vaginal Monologue (yes, I know that isn't the name...yet again...) called _Hair_ wasn't about you...



> Hair, a piece in which a woman discusses how her husband had cheated on her because she had refused to shave her pubic hair, ultimately allowing her to see that it should not matter whether or not she chooses to shave, and that "hair is there for a reason".


I'd post a link to the Wikipedia entry about it, but I think TC's censor would ruin the URL!  But, anyway, there's some really creative names for those monologues. I wonder if anyone's done a prostate monologue? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> I guess if I were desperate enough, I would consent to marrying Hilary Hahn.


The bad news: She ain't THAT desperate.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> *I can't speak for Beethoven,* but I assure you that I don't like Bush! :lol:
> 
> We won't get into Klassik's hairiness though. I'll spare the forum this time!
> 
> So I guess the Vaginal Monologue (yes, I know that isn't the name...yet again...) called _Hair_ wasn't about you...
> 
> I'd post a link to the Wikipedia entry about it, but I think TC's censor would ruin the URL!  But, anyway, there's some really creative names for those monologues. I wonder if anyone's done a prostate monologue? :lol:


Why not? Everyone else on TC seems to have no problem doing it.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik and hpowders, I wish that you would both speak for Beethoven - I need to know the answer to my burning question: when I go back in time to propose to Beethoven, should I let my bush grow out beforehand?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Klassik and hpowders, I wish that you would both speak for Beethoven - I need to know the answer to my burning question: when I go back in time to propose to Beethoven, should I let my bush grow out beforehand?


I don't think Beethoven would be too interested in HIP - Historically Informed Puss...well, you know the rest!


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> The Elbphilharmonie. I could attend a lot of concerts that way.


Yes. One would have to be pretty desperate. However, given the inhumanity of a lot of dating candidates, at least marrying one made of brick, mortar and stone, wouldn't leave one disappointed. You already know what you'd be getting.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> The bad news: She ain't THAT desperate.


Don't I know it. She sent me a lovely letter through her attorneys that encourages me to remain at least 500 feet away at all times.

I framed it. It's the first in what I hope to be a long line of correspondence between us.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Beethoven is definitely my first choice!! Runners-up include Liszt and Bernstein.


Then you would have to fight me for him. I KNOW desperation!!!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I don't think Beethoven would be too interested in HIP - Historically Informed Puss...well, you know the rest!


I think he would like it to be furry. After all, he did write Fur Elise! Oh, wait a minute...that's actually _Für _Elise. That umlaut makes all the difference! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Klassik and hpowders, I wish that you would both speak for Beethoven - I need to know the answer to my burning question: when I go back in time to propose to Beethoven, should I let my bush grow out beforehand?


I'll have to take the _Fifth_ on that one.

dah dah dah *DAH*!!!

A case of the _burning bush_?

I hope you aren't attempting to get me _fired_ on TC!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Then you would have to fight me for him. I KNOW desperation!!!


Which him? Are you coming down with a case of Liszt-o-mania too? :lol:

I think Beethoven and Liszt would rather go with Bettina. With Bernstein, well, this could get interesting! 



Bettina said:


> I think he would like it to be furry. After all, he did write Fur Elise! Oh, wait a minute...that's actually _Für _Elise. That umlaut makes all the difference! :lol:


:lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Which him? Are you coming down with a case of Liszt-o-mania too? :lol:
> 
> I think Beethoven and Liszt would rather go with Bettina. With Bernstein, well, this could get interesting!
> 
> :lol:


I would rather settle for Boulez. Smarter than Bernstein, and cold enough to leave me alone between the hours of 11PM and 6AM.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I would rather settle for Boulez. Smarter than Bernstein, and cold enough to leave me alone between the hours of 11PM and 6AM.


Boulez wrote a piece called "The Hammer without a Master." I'm not sure what that says about his lovemaking skills!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Unlike most men (including myself), *I guess Beethoven didn't do his best thinking down south! * :lol:
> 
> Well, do you or do you not want to see my banana? :devil:


I guess that's why he avoided Munich.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Boulez wrote a piece called "The Hammer without a Master." I'm not sure what that says about his lovemaking skills!


I don't care. As long as he would conduct his business in private. He was a bit too analytical for the likes of me(42,312 given)


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I don't care. As long as he would conduct his business in private. He was a bit too analytical for the likes of me(49,540).


Yes, he was quite ANALytical! By the way, what does the 49,540 mean??


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I would rather settle for Boulez. Smarter than Bernstein, and cold enough to leave me alone between the hours of 11PM and 6AM.


Not that I would swing that way, but Eugene Ormandy would be my guy.










True story: I searched for an Eugene Ormandy picture using the DuckDuckGo search engine (it's the default in SeaMonkey and I've never changed it). DDG uses the high "Safe Search" filter in image searches by default. It came up with no results for Ormandy! I guess DDG is confusing Ormandy's bald head for something else! It would probably do the same for the older Boulez pictures! :lol:



Bettina said:


> Boulez wrote a piece called "The Hammer without a Master." I'm not sure what that says about his lovemaking skills!


Hammer without a Master? That sounds like MC Hammer's current career status!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, he was quite ANALytical! By the way, what does the 49,540 mean??


The number of likes received, which was a mistake. I had to change it to likes "given" which was 42,312 at the time.

Click on the little *^*adjacent to "Post Thanks/Like" to get your real time "like" totals. It may not work the first time, but usually works the second time.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Which Composer had/has the biggest manhood?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> The number of likes received, which was a mistake. I had to change it to likes "given" which was 42,312 at the time.
> 
> Click on the little ^adjacent to "Post Thanks/Like" to get your real time totals.


Thanks, I had no idea that this data was available! Another number for me to obsess on, along with my weight (currently a bit higher than it should be, because of summer BBQ parties!) and my IQ (hopefully still higher than my weight). :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Which Composer had/has the biggest bunch of coconuts?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Arnold Schoenberg or Béla Bartók, who was the better male stripper ?


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Which Composer had/has the biggest manhood?


Poll? Don't you mean pole? 

Believe it or not, I think Bettina and I have already discussed this. I'm guessing Leif Segerstam or J. Haydn based on Bettina's criteria! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Arnold Schoenberg or Béla Bartók, who was the better male stripper ?


I'm going with Bartok. Look at those hands!










Schoenberg never wins, does he? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Thanks, I had no idea that this data was available! Another number for me to obsess on, *along with my weight (currently a bit higher than it should be, because of summer BBQ parties!)* and my IQ (hopefully still higher than my weight). :lol:


Tsk, tsk! No more BBQ sausages for you young lady! Only corncobs from now on! Whether you prefer butter or jam on your corncobs is up to you! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Tsk, tsk! No more BBQ sausages for you young lady! Only corncobs from now on! Whether you prefer butter or jam on your corncobs is up to you! :devil:


Yes, I've definitely been swallowing too much! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Arnold Schoenberg or Béla Bartók, who was the better male stripper ?


I don't know who was better, but I do know that Schoenberg was a serial stripper!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thanks, I had no idea that this data was available! Another number for me to obsess on, along with my weight (currently a bit higher than it should be, because of summer BBQ parties!) and my IQ (hopefully still higher than my weight). :lol:


Hang by me. I know all the cracks and crevices of posting intricacies and beyond.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Hang by me. I know all the cracks and crevices of posting intricacies and beyond.


Yeah, but can you help her see my dancing banana?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Yeah, but can you help her see my dancing banana?


I know these things are viewer-restricted to TC Premium Members. I can see them quite vividly. They stimulate my digestive juices.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Page Three TC Thread Decoder. Free with the purchase of two My Pillows.
> 
> Free shipping when mentioning the code mu6cVWöb974É15.307.


Great news: For TC Premium Members, free shipping!! Simply mention the code, "TC".


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I know these things are viewer-restricted to TC Premium Members. I can see them quite vividly. They stimulate my digestive juices.


Well, I'm satisfied as long as someone can enjoy it!


----------



## hpowders

Seventeenth choice of a country, if you are denied a visa for your first sixteen choices?


----------



## hpowders

Most complex ostinato that makes you blush while enjoying your banana pancakes?


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Schoenberg was denied a Los Angeles license to practice atonality because his name was spelled "Schönberg" on his passport?


----------



## Bettina

Have you ever tried doing an intense aerobic workout while listening to Cage's ASLSP?


----------



## Scopitone

Which one of Gluck's overtures would have worked best on American Bandstand?


----------



## Scopitone

Haydn lived too long, diluting his reputation with subpar music. 

Discuss.


----------



## Bettina

John Cage = Joy Of Hearing Nothing. Cease All Grand Energy.


----------



## Scopitone

Poison's CC Deville vs Ludwig Van - who had the better hair?


----------



## Bettina

Brahms = Brusque, Reserved. A Hairy, Massive Symphonist.


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> Poison's CC Deville vs Ludwig Van - who had the better hair?


Going with Beethoven on this one. CC Deville's hair looks more like a wig Mozart would have worn on Amadeus.



Bettina said:


> Brahms = Brusque, Reserved. A Hairy, Massive Symphonist.


Does A count? :lol:

I speculate that the clean-shaven Beethoven would have preferred non-beaver. Would Brahms then prefer bush?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Composers doing the automatic writing thing...


----------



## SiegendesLicht

hpowders said:


> Yes. One would have to be pretty desperate. However, given the inhumanity of a lot of dating candidates, at least marrying one made of brick, mortar and stone, wouldn't leave one disappointed. You already know what you'd be getting.


Yes, but in this particular case I would probably be not the only candidate. A few bloggers and classical music journalists I have read, sound like they are well on their way to a marriage proposal to our brick-and-glass beauty.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

can someone can be Tasmanian without being born from Tassie, Tassie devil soul (music)


----------



## 20centrfuge

Who would win in a barfight? Beethoven or Mozart?


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> Yes, but in this particular case I would probably be not the only candidate. A few bloggers and classical music journalists I have read, sound like they are well on their way to a marriage proposal to our brick-and-glass beauty.


 If Beethoven turns me down, a concoction of brick, mortar and stone may start looking pretty, pretty good to me. So you may have to add me to the competitiion.


----------



## hpowders

20centrfuge said:


> Who would win in a barfight? Beethoven or Mozart?


Beethoven could simply blow on Mozart. The foul breath would instantly kill him.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> can someone can be Tasmanian without being born from Tassie, Tassie devil soul (music)


No, but one can simply wish he was never Bourne, Jason.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Arnold Schoenberg or Béla Bartók, who was the better male stripper ?


Simple. The one who wrote music for G String, Percussion and his girlfriend, Celeste.


----------



## hpowders

Living in a Condiment World: A Survival Guide for Non-Conformists by yours truly, has begun being written.

I will keep you conformed....err.....informed on its progress and whether discounts will be available for TC premium and/or sub-forum members.


----------



## hpowders

Bach: Brilliantly Animated Christian Hosannas.


----------



## hpowders

Haydn: Humor And Yuks Delight Nicely.


----------



## Minor Sixthist

hpowders said:


> Is it true that most poster refuse to post on TC because they get no posting credit?


Is TC actually Reddit?


----------



## Klassik

20centrfuge said:


> Who would win in a barfight? Beethoven or Mozart?





hpowders said:


> Beethoven could simply blow on Mozart. The foul breath would instantly kill him.


A fatal blow indeed! :lol:

Of course, I can see Beethoven pulling a Mike Tyson and biting Mozart's ear off as well!


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> I'm going with Bartok. Look at those hands!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Schoenberg never wins, does he? :lol:


For those interested, Bela smoked the Tisza brand.

Trivia alert: Years after his death, a Tisza butt was found inside his piano, and rightly preserved for a museum.

Related (pdf incl.):

www.csun.edu/~liviu7/603/Chapter 8-Bartok.pdf

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/hungary-turns-black-market-smoke-050107185.html

https://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=4241


----------



## Vaneyes

Butter, jam, chocolate, honey, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Scopitone

Butter or Juan?


----------



## hpowders

New rules:

No revisions on postings allowed! You post it, you own it.

Too many birthday greetings are being revised.

This must stop!!


----------



## Scopitone

Which would be your second choice of country fried steak?


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Butter, jam, chocolate, honey, other, don't know, don't care.


Send Bettina your original birthday greeting. She will love it! :tiphat:


----------



## Scopitone

Do you have a crush on any dead classical performing artists?


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> Do you have a crush on any dead classical performing artists?


Actually, yes (though some of them are better known as composers than as performing artists). My dead composer/performer crushes include Beethoven, Liszt and Bernstein.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> Which would be your second choice of country fried steak?


Can I go for some Turkey instead?


----------



## hpowders

Was Boulez better at decomposing than he was at composing?

References. Sources. Footnotes.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Was Boulez better at decomposing than he was at composing?
> 
> References. Sources. Footnotes.


I think we would have to dig him up to find out for sure!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I think we would have to dig him up to find out for sure!


I'm free on Wednesday.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I think we would have to dig him up to find out for sure!


Legend has it that his baton would be the last thing to decompose.


----------



## hpowders

I'm thinking of disliking a composer whom I like: Brahms or Beethoven or Chopin?

Which one do you recommend I turn the tables on?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'm thinking of disliking a composer whom I like: Brahms or Beethoven or Chopin?
> 
> Which one do you recommend I turn the tables on?


Put Chopin on the choppin' block!


----------



## hpowders

TC Weight Losing Forum:

What's the calorie difference between a minor third and major third slice of rum cake? (again with the rumcake!)

Yes! Yes! I know what a minor third slice looks like!!!


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> Which would be your second choice of country fried steak?


Brown gravy or white gravy?


----------



## Scopitone

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Can I go for some Turkey instead?


Pffft. Who ever heard of chicken-fried turkey?

Next you'll be trying to eat it with brown gravy.


----------



## Scopitone

Klassik said:


> Brown gravy or white gravy?


White gravy or GTFO


----------



## hpowders

If the piano was never invented, would Chopin have been just another sausage maker in a kielbasa factory?

Please-no unsubstantiated opinions.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> If the piano was never invented, would Chopin have been just another sausage maker in a kielbasa factory?
> 
> Please-no unsubstantiated opinions.


Pole about Poles: What's more erotic, Chopin's music or the thought of Chopin making Kielbasa?


----------



## hpowders

ANNOUNCEMENT:

All those TC'ers who dig Boulez, report to Les Miserables cemetery in Paris, for an energetic surprise, Wednesday, June 21st, 10AM, TCDT.


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> White gravy or GTFO


I'm always suspicious of white gravy. I'll take my chances with brown gravy. If it's good enough for Colonel Sanders, it's good enough for Klassik!


----------



## Klassik

Poll: Percent chance of Bettina listening to her new CDs while wearing her birthday suit? 


:lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Poll: Percent chance of Bettina listening to her new CDs while wearing her birthday suit?
> 
> :lol:


I think that would be too distracting - I would get too tempted to play with myself instead of listening for octatonic scales! (No, that's not an innuendo - it's a reference to a debate in the Schoenberg vs. Bartók thread!)


----------



## hpowders

Wanted: Singing opera males for castrato surgery.

We are currently taking applications for volunteers to compare eunuch singing to countertenors in Handelian arias to see which is best.

Once in a lifetime opportunity. Hurry!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Pole about Poles: What's more erotic, Chopin's music or the thought of Chopin making Kielbasa?


I love Chopin's music, but I don't find him erotic. His tuberculosis is a huge turn-off. He would probably wheeze and cough throughout the entire act, and that wouldn't be sexy! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

I started to love Monteverdi and I wrote him and then I found out he was dead. I'm absolutely crushed and I'm leaving TC forever....
....after you audition my 16 movement suite for prepared piano...I'm finishing movement 2 as I write this.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I love Chopin's music, but I don't find him erotic. His tuberculosis is a huge turn-off. He would probably wheeze and cough throughout the entire act, and that wouldn't be sexy! :lol:


Well, just imagine the people who make sausage (the food sausage)! 

Didn't George Carlin make a joke about that? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

TC Flashlight: Special offer for TC premium members!!

The best tool for searching forums without strain!!

Excellent too for keeping up with the latest activity stream!

Rechargeable.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> TC Flashlight: Special offer for TC premium members!!
> 
> The best tool for searching forums without strain!!
> 
> Excellent for tracking latest activity too!


Well, it sure beats a fleshlight! :devil:


----------



## SiegendesLicht

Scopitone said:


> Do you have a crush on any dead classical performing artists?


Actually yes. Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau.


----------



## hpowders

SiegendesLicht said:


> Actually yes. Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau.


Winterreise, indeed!


----------



## Scopitone

SiegendesLicht said:


> Actually yes. Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau.


And I shall answer my own joke topic:

Lisa Della Casa


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders's Top 10 Better Things to Do Than Amuse People


----------



## Jacred

I really suck at watercolour painting but I want to learn. How about I paint my favourite composer as a first project?

Free like goes to anyone who can identify the bleeding, fuzzy mess.


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> I really suck at watercolour painting but I want to learn. How about I paint my favourite composer as a first project?
> 
> Free like goes to anyone who can identify the bleeding, fuzzy mess.


A water color portrait of a composer? It would have to be Rachmaninoff, right? :lol:


----------



## Blancrocher

*Permanent Leaves*










That's right: they're plastic.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> I really suck at watercolour painting but I want to learn. How about I paint my favourite composer as a first project?
> 
> Free like goes to anyone who can identify the bleeding, fuzzy mess.


You can paint me if you want. I won't mind. Tell me when I should sit here at the computer and for how long.


----------



## hpowders

Mood and symphonies:

Post no. 1: When my medication wears off and I am in a murderous mood, I prefer Wagner and assault rifles. Otherwise, I prefer listening to the news on Public Radio, reading the financial section of the New York Times and giving generously to pacifist causes.


----------



## hpowders

Is a classical music experience enhanced when one is doing a pencil drawing of the composer you are listening to?
I'm new here and I just want to get it right.


----------



## hpowders

Are counter-tenors, counter-culture?


----------



## hpowders

Do countryside dwellers prefer Beethoven's Diabelli Variations over Grieg's Peer Gynt?


----------



## hpowders

Best composer pencil drawing of the 20th century.


----------



## hpowders

Wouldn't one expect 21st century pencil drawings to be superior to those of the 20th century, due to significant improvements in pencil quality?

Newbie here: I have a lot of other good questions.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Wouldn't one expect 21st century pencil drawings to be superior to those of the 20th century, due to significant improvements in pencil quality?
> 
> Newbie here: I have a lot of other good questions.


Nein. The best pencil drawings come from 16th century time-period pure graphite pencils wrapped in sheepskin. As we all know, sheepskin is the best material for covering rods. Of course, one would have to use HIP (Historically Informed Penciling) techniques for best results. 

Of course, in STI tradition, the best pencils for self-pleasuring must also be presented:










It's a real woody!

:lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Nein. The best pencil drawings come from 16th century time-period pure graphite pencils wrapped in sheepskin. As we all know, sheepskin is the best material for covering rods. Of course, one would have to use HIP (Historically Informed Penciling) techniques for best results.
> 
> Of course, in STI tradition, the best pencils for self-pleasuring must also be presented:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It's a real woody!
> 
> :lol:


One would think the best drawings are made in Pennsylvania, but I bet I'm wrong.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Sir Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin by melting old pencils?


----------



## hpowders

Are there any finishing etudes for terminating piano studies like there are for beginning to play the piano?
I want to quit.


----------



## hpowders

I wanted to be King of Flanders
but got beat by a fella named Sanders.
He was really a nebbish
and wasn't quite Flemish
I am quite sorry if this limerick meanders.


----------



## hpowders

Who is your favorite ubiquitous poster who has NOT had a thread written to complain about getting rid of him/her?


----------



## hpowders

What is a well-known piece of classical music that you would rather sit down and listen to than stand?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

...Ubiquitous poster? Of my hero? I had one on my wall.


----------



## Scopitone

Which Composers Look Best in HD?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Do you dance better on the radio than on TV?


----------



## hpowders

Announcement:

For anyone wanting to do a pencil drawing of me, I will be sitting at my desktop computer for the next 7 hours, 17 minutes.


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Do you dance better on the radio than on TV?


No, of course not! My nakedness does not translate well on the radio.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

The World Championship of Waiting has just started. Who's your favorite to win?


----------



## hpowders

The most complex, non-ubiquitous pencil drawings of your favorite composers.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Your just so ubiquitous man!


----------



## hpowders

I live in a housing complex. Can I play simple music there?

I just want to get it right!!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Menuets that have blown you away lately.


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> The World Championship of Waiting has just started. Who's your favorite to win?


John Cage, clearly.


----------



## Klassik

So my co-worker has a glass of beet juice on his desk. It looks like blood. Hmm, maybe it's really Beethoven's blood? Who wants to take a sip to find out?

_It's probably not Beethoven's blood. It smells like raspberries or strawberries. I'm guessing Beethoven's blood would smell like a mix of coffee and cauliflower._


----------



## millionrainbows

_*The Easily Googleable Question Thread, But I Was Too Lazy To Look It Up, And I Like It When You Do It Better, Anyway!*_

I just love the way you answer those questions, as if you were that smart! You sure have a cute tush! In fact, I'm falling in love with you! I'm going to go wherever you go! I'm sticking to you like glue!


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> You sure have a cute tush!


Well, I can only _***_ume that you're talking to me. Thanks! It's about time someone recognized the beauty of my tush!


----------



## millionrainbows

*Easily Googleable Questions: *I like it better when You answer! You're cute!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> ...Ubiquitous poster? Of my hero? I had one on my wall.


Why COAG of course the Mods fav


----------



## millionrainbows

Klassik said:


> Well, I can only _***_ume that you're talking to me. Thanks! It's about time someone recognized the beauty of my tush!


Thanks, that takes the pressure off Bettina!


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Thanks, that takes the pressure off Bettina!


Yes, now Klassik and I can share the stage with our striptease routines. I'll slowly and sensually remove my thong and he can do the same with his underwear!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, now Klassik and I can share the stage with our striptease routines. I'll slowly and sensually remove my thong and he can do the same with his underwear!


Too late! 



Are we doing a ballet dance to Boléro? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Too late!
> 
> 
> 
> Are we doing a ballet dance to Boléro? :lol:


Well, in that case, maybe your routine can consist of putting your underwear back _on_. :lol:

Boléro is a good choice. It's a sexy piece of music with a sexy accent mark!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Yes, now Klassik and I can share the stage with our striptease routines. I'll slowly and sensually remove my thong and he can do the same with his underwear!


In Oz we wear our thongs on our feet!

Is the great Aussie thong hurting your feet?
http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2014/12/05/4142913.htm


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Well, in that case, maybe your routine can consist of putting your underwear back _on_. :lol:


Sadly, I will have to put my underwear back on right now! It's my lunch break and the ladies in the hairnets over at food service seem to have a "no underwear, no service" policy! :lol:



> Boléro is a good choice. It's a sexy piece of music with a sexy accent mark!


Ravel's research in the brothels served him well!


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> In Oz we wear our thongs on our feet!
> 
> Is the great Aussie thong hurting your feet?
> http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2014/12/05/4142913.htm


Whenever I think of Aussie footwear, the thought "UGG!" crosses my mind! 

Speaking of Aussie food, I wonder if they have any cumquats over in the lunch line. I'm going to to go find out! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Whenever I think of Aussie footwear, the thought "UGG!" crosses my mind!
> 
> Speaking of Aussie food, I wonder if they have any cumquats over in the lunch line. I'm going to to go find out! :lol:


Like most things Oz - the Yanks brought out the Ugg Boot brand- maybe we will get it back one day , even Vegemite is US owned 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_kangaroo


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Like most things Oz - the Yanks brought out the Ugg Boot brand- maybe we will get it back one day , even Vegemite is US owned
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_kangaroo


Yes, we like to take over the world that way! When we cant, we just come up with foreign names for American products to make them seem more international. Take the American Häagen-Dazs ice cream for example. The company pretends that it's Danish, but there's no 'ä' in Danish! Bettina, what are your thoughts about fake umlauts?

Stupid Thread Idea: We have a shampoo here in the US called Aussie. Would one really want their hair to smell like an Aussie? :lol:

Oh, here's a lunch update. They did not have any cumquats! :scold: Oh well, to hell with them, the catering company is losing their contract soon anyway!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yes, we like to take over the world that way! When we cant, we just come up with foreign names for American products to make them seem more international. Take the American Häagen-Dazs ice cream for example. The company pretends that it's Danish, but there's no 'ä' in Danish! *Bettina, what are your thoughts about fake umlauts?*
> 
> Stupid Thread Idea: We have a shampoo here in the US called Aussie. Would one really want their hair to smell like an Aussie? :lol:
> 
> Oh, here's a lunch update. They did not have any cumquats! :scold: Oh well, to hell with them, the catering company is losing their contract soon anyway!


Fake umlauts are like fake orgasms: better than nothing! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Poll: What do you prefer, Häagen-Dazs ice cream or fake orgasms?

Of course, it's not like Klassik makes the ladies choose. :devil: Then again, Klassik is too cheap to pay for Häagen-Dazs. One of the local grocery stores, HEB (which stands for Howard Edward Butt), has store brand ice cream called Creamy Creations. The name has no umlauts, but the hilarity of the name itself makes up for anything it lacks otherwise! You can say that it's Good Humor ice cream! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Poll: What do you prefer, Häagen-Dazs ice cream or fake orgasms?
> 
> Of course, it's not like Klassik makes the ladies choose. :devil: Then again, Klassik is too cheap to pay for Häagen-Dazs. One of the local grocery stores, HEB (which stands for Howard Edward Butt), has store brand ice cream called Creamy Creations. The name has no umlauts, but the hilarity of the name itself makes up for anything it lacks otherwise! You can say that it's Good Humor ice cream! :lol:


I'm stumped. Can I call a friend?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I'm stumped. Can I call a friend?


Well of course your lady will fake orgasms if you're "stump"ed. No wonder you like Mahler's symphonies! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well of course your lady will fake orgasms if you're "stump"ed. No wonder you like Mahler's symphonies! :lol:


Like Elaine on Seinfeld: "FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! FAKE!"


----------



## hpowders

I'd like to write more, but I am about to consume an oñion and cheddar cheese quiche that I made from left over rúmcake.


----------



## millionrainbows

Klassik said:


> Sadly, I will have to put my underwear back on right now! It's my lunch break and the ladies in the hairnets over at food service seem to have a "no underwear, no service" policy! :lol:
> 
> Ravel's research in the brothels served him well!


When Klassik has anxiety dreams, it's because he has his underwear ON.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Alban Berg: Confessions of a Twelve Toner: "Okay, I admit it, I cheated! I didn't stick to the row!"*


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> When Klassik has anxiety dreams, it's because he has his underwear ON.


This is true! Very, very true!


----------



## hpowders

Is a mausoleum a museum for dead composers, decomposing?

I have a lot of other good questions.


----------



## hpowders

Would a critic's review of a dead composer's works be considered to be die-acritical?

I told you I had other good questions!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Poll: What do you prefer, Häagen-Dazs ice cream or fake orgasms?
> 
> Of course, it's not like Klassik makes the ladies choose. :devil: Then again, Klassik is too cheap to pay for Häagen-Dazs. One of the local grocery stores, HEB (which stands for Howard Edward Butt), has store brand ice cream called Creamy Creations. The name has no umlauts, but the hilarity of the name itself makes up for anything it lacks otherwise! You can say that it's Good Humor ice cream! :lol:


Point of clarification before I choose: How many calories does a cup of Häagen-Dazs contain?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Point of clarification before I choose: How many calories does a cup of Häagen-Dazs contain?


For vanilla, 500 calories.

Anyway, h, I think you'd be a bigger fan of this:


----------



## hpowders

When I went to the Bronx on a teaching field trip assignment, I heard this dude call to another, "Hey, Tony!!!!"

Now with my enhanced, sophisticated musical education, thanks to TC, I've been musing on the long ago event:

Could the young man have been exclaiming, "Atonie!", to describe his impression of the Schoenberg Piano Concerto to another fellow music lover who was simply waiting for his friend's review?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> For vanilla, 500 calories.
> 
> Anyway, h, I think you'd be a bigger fan of this:


Actually I get Breyers "frozen vanilla dessert": artificial sweetener, low fat: 80 calories per serving and it tastes pretty good for what it is.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> When I went to the Bronx on a teaching field trip assignment, I heard this dude call to another, "Hey, Tony!!!!"
> 
> Now with my enhanced, sophisticated musical education, thanks to TC, I've been musing on the long ago event:
> 
> Could the young man have been exclaiming, "Atonie!", to describe his impression of the Schoenberg Piano Concerto to another fellow music lover who was simply waiting for his friend's review?


He was just calling Tony over to fix his Fiat...and to fix Schoenberg's Piano Concerto.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Actually I get Breyers "frozen vanilla dessert": artificial sweetener, low fat: 80 calories per serving and it tastes pretty good for what it is.


Yeah, but that wouldn't have schweddy fudge covered rum & malt balls. Just admit it loudly that you want Schweddy Balls!


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Thread Idea: How much of Bettina's birthday booty will be spent on panties at Victoria's Secret?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Stupid Thread Idea: How much of Bettina's birthday booty will be spent on panties at Victoria's Secret?


I can't decide whether to spend it on panties or CDs! I wish I could find a pair of panties with a built-in music player...then I would have the best of both worlds.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Who is your favorite ubiquitous poster who has NOT had a thread written to complain about getting rid of him/her?


The favourite poster who has had, would be much easier to list............


----------



## hpowders

Which would make for a better evening?

1. A movie from 21 Century Fox

2. A fine selection of 21 Century Classical Music


----------



## hpowders

Do you love any ubiquitous posters in particular, or do you keep all posters at a safe emotional distance, regardless of their post counts?

Edit: Sorry: I meant distance, not difference. Damn rum cake!


----------



## Totenfeier

*Atonality vs. Rum Cake*


----------



## Bettina

Totenfeier said:


> *Atonality vs. Rum Cake*


They seem pretty similar to me! Atonality involves a 12-tone program, and too much Rum Cake would lead me into a 12-step program. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I can't decide whether to spend it on panties or CDs! I wish I could find a pair of panties with a built-in music player...then I would have the best of both worlds.


CDs or panties...such a tough decision! I'd go with the CDs. After all, who really needs panties anyway? 

I'm not aware of underwear that plays CDs. I couldn't find panties with CDs on them either! I did find this though.










As a cassette fan, I must say that those panties are HOT! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> CDs or panties...such a tough decision! I'd go with the CDs. After all, who really needs panties anyway?
> 
> I'm not aware of underwear that plays CDs. I couldn't find panties with CDs on them either! I did find this though.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> As a cassette fan, I must say that those panties are HOT! :devil:


Great find! This gives me a new pickup line: "hey, baby, I'm a cassette player...turn me on."


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Great find! This gives me a new pickup line: "hey, baby, I'm a cassette player...turn me on."


:devil: I'm turning Dolby Noise Reduction off on this one! 

I'm not sure how familiar you are with cassette deck anatomy, but those panties would dirty my capstan in no time! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Which composer would make the best one night stand?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> :devil: I'm turning Dolby Noise Reduction off on this one!
> 
> I'm not sure how familiar you are with cassette deck anatomy, but those panties would dirty my capstan in no time! :lol:


I have to admit that I know nothing about cassettes, but I think I get your point anyway...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Which composer would make the best one night stand?


Beethoven! If he tried calling you the next morning, he wouldn't know if you picked up the phone or not!  Of course, we know you would pick up before the first ring was over!



Bettina said:


> I have to admit that I know nothing about cassettes, but I think I get your point anyway...


It's a long, semi-phallic looking shaft. I'm thinking you guessed this already though! :lol:

Somehow the dirty cassette deck talk never really gets me anywhere with women!


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Thread Idea - Favorite Beethoven Work: The Erotica or The Dong Duets?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Stupid Thread Idea - Favorite Beethoven Work: The Erotica or The Dong Duets?


Definitely The Erotica Symphony! I'm not interested in Dong Duets - there's only one dong I'd like to play with! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> I have to admit that I know nothing about cassettes, but I think I get your point anyway...


They go in a slot.................


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Definitely The Erotica Symphony! I'm not interested in Dong Duets - there's only one dong I'd like to play with! :lol:


I feel that Erotica needs an umlaut to make it even more, well, erotic. How about the Erötica?

Unfortunately, I think the dong you're referring to is half way to becoming oil...which can be refined into petroleum products...which can be used to make a...well, you know where I'm going with this! :lol:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> They go in a slot.................


The capstan is in the slot too!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> They go in a slot.................


I've even got a Nakamachi one that even rotates the cassette.......


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I feel that Erotica needs an umlaut to make it even more, well, erotic. How about the Erötica?
> 
> Unfortunately, I think the dong you're referring to is half way to becoming oil...which can be refined into petroleum products...which can be used to make a...well, you know where I'm going with this! :lol:
> 
> The capstan is in the slot too!


The umlaut is a great touch! It makes the O look like two eyes and a mouth screaming in ecstasy. A big O for sure! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I've even got a Nakamachi one that even rotates the cassette.......


I have a Nakamichi, but it does not have the rotating tape auto-reverse. I have capstan envy!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> The umlaut is a great touch! It makes the O look like two eyes and a mouth screaming in ecstasy. A big O for sure! :lol:


I'll have to hand it to you, I never realized how erötic umlauts were until I met you! I came to this board seeking classical music knowledge, but I got so much more! 

Plus, the umlauts look like boobs. That's always a plus! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Pole: Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, or Twinkies - Which cream filled delight would you rather put in your mouth?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Symphonies: Beethoven vs. Cage


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I'll have to hand it to you, I never realized how erötic umlauts were until I met you! I came to this board seeking classical music knowledge, but I got so much more!
> 
> Plus, the umlauts look like boobs. That's always a plus! :lol:


I think you've got it backwards. She will hand it to YOU!!!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I'll have to hand it to you,* I never realized how erötic umlauts were* until I met you! I came to this board seeking classical music knowledge, but I got so much more!
> 
> Plus, the umlauts look like boobs. That's always a plus! :lol:


I still don't.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I still don't.


That's okay, maybe you'd need some Vïägrä to understand! 

Perhaps a love of the music of Antonín Dvořák is all you need to keep erectile dysfunction away! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> That's okay, maybe you'd need some Vïägrä to understand!
> 
> Perhaps a love of the music of Antonín Dvořák is all you need to keep erectile dysfunction away! :lol:


Pürple isn't my color.


----------



## hpowders

I just read that someone is attempting to merge the Beethoven Eroica and Fifth Piano Concerto in a gigantic symphony with piano obbligato:

It will be called the Empress Erotica.


----------



## hpowders

So glad that Beethoven didn't write the Erotica Symphony in B Flat. That would have been such a turn-off.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Pürple isn't my color.


What a shame! I'm man enough to admit to liking pürple! I wear pürple somewhat regularly (when I actually wear clothes that is ). I should say that I like medium and deep pürples, lilac can stay home as far as I'm concerned.

As far as pïnk goes, I only like it when I'm stuffing something into the pïnk! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I just read that someone is attempting to merge the Beethoven Eroica and Fifth Piano Concerto in a gigantic symphony with piano obbligato:
> 
> It will be called the Empress Erotica.


Empress Erötica? I think she posts here at TC!

Unfortunately for the Empress, her nobility will prevent her from marrying a peon like Beethoven!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Clitoria and Spermando, the unsung heroes of a lost opera ages ago.


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> So glad that Beethoven didn't write the Erotica Symphony in B Flat. That would have been such a turn-off.


E flat is only marginally better...


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> E flat is only marginally better...


When I am on eHarmony.com and the lady's ad states I B Flat, it's a real turn off.


----------



## hpowders

TC Antacid Section:

Hi! I'm Maalox and I want to be your auntie acid! I reside in Portland Oregon.


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Clitoria and Spermando, the unsung heroes of a lost opera ages ago.


It's too bad that seminal opera was aborted! It sounds very erötic! 

Clit is another word that could benefit from an umlaut! :lol:


----------



## Art Rock

Apologies for Tonality and Atonality.


----------



## hpowders

Art Rock said:


> Apologies for Tonality and Atonality.


Mind your tone!!!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It's too bad that seminal opera was aborted! It sounds very erötic!
> 
> Clit is another word that could benefit from an umlaut! :lol:


Maybe a line through the L, like this: cłit. It looks like a finger caressing the clit! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Maybe a line through the L, like this: cłit. It looks like a finger caressing the clit! :lol:


Good choice! I knew that you'd pick a good one given how much you practice your fingering! :lol:

That is pretty sexy though!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Høw dö yoü dö thàt?


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Høw dö yoü dö thàt?


OK, here comes a super-shameful confession : I actually DON'T know how what buttons to press to insert umlauts into a TC post (haha, that sounds dirty). What I usually do is, I get the umlaut from an external website (such as Wikipedia) and then I copy and paste it into my TC post. To get that ł with the sexy slash, I looked up Lutosławski on Wikipedia (because I remembered that he had one of those in his name) and I copied the ł from there!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Høw dö yoü dö thàt?


You probably have it easy! All those diacritics are probably on your keyboard! As usual, us Americans have to do it the hard way!



Bettina said:


> OK, here comes a super-shameful confession : I actually DON'T know how what buttons to press to insert umlauts into a TC post (haha, that sounds dirty). What I usually do is, I get the umlaut from an external website (such as Wikipedia) and then I copy and paste it into my TC post. To get that ł with the sexy slash, I looked up Lutosławski on Wikipedia (because I remembered that he had one of those in his name) and I copied the ł from there!


I think it's different on a Mac than on a PC, but I used to have many Alt codes memorized. I guess I'll have to do that again if I'm going to keep posting here!  Well, here's something you can bookmark so you can copy and paste from if nothing else.

Bettina, what do you think of the Icelandic Þ ? I think I know what you'll pick! 

The 'ø' looks prudish. It's not erotic at all!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You probably have it easy! All those diacritics are probably on your keyboard! As usual, us Americans have to do it the hard way!
> 
> I think it's different on a Mac than on a PC, but I used to have many Alt codes memorized. I guess I'll have to do that again if I'm going to keep posting here!  Well, here's something you can bookmark so you can copy and paste from if nothing else.
> 
> Bettina, what do you think of the Icelandic Þ ? I think I know what you'll pick!
> 
> The 'ø' looks prudish. It's not erotic at all!


That Icelandic Þ certainly does look suggestive! And I agree with you about the ø. A huge turn-off. It looks like a closed-up hole!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Musique Concrete Chant VS Minimalist Chant


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Bettina said:


> That Icelandic Þ certainly does look suggestive! And I agree with you about the ø. A huge turn-off. It looks like a closed-up hole!


WOW! We have æ ø å Æ Ø Å 
Dü they türn you åff?  
ø is the same sound as Swedish ö


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

s n m
swedish nasal microtonality
popularly called S & M


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Also S & M
Slamdancing & Mozart


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> ø is the same sound as Swedish ö


Sorry, but the ö is way more erötic than the ø! The ø looks like, as Bettina says, a woman closed for business!

Bettina, maybe this will help you get umlauts on your Mac without copying and pasting:

http://sites.psu.edu/symbolcodes/mac/codemacext/


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> WOW! We have æ ø å Æ Ø Å
> Dü they türn you åff?
> ø is the same sound as Swedish ö


The æ is sexy. It looks like a kinky sex position!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Sorry, but the ö is way more erötic than the ø! The ø looks like, as Bettina says, a woman closed for business!
> 
> Bettina, maybe this will help you get umlauts on your Mac without copying and pasting:
> 
> http://sites.psu.edu/symbolcodes/mac/codemacext/


Thanks for the link. Usually, though, I use my desktop PC for posting. I generally only use my Mac laptop for conference presentations or when traveling, but I'll save that link for those occasions!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

It's actually an a and an e when they come together


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Thanks for the link. Usually, though, I use my desktop PC for posting. I generally only use my Mac laptop for conference presentations or when traveling, but I'll save that link for those occasions!


In that case, try these http://sites.psu.edu/symbolcodes/windows/codealt/
http://sites.psu.edu/symbolcodes/windows/codeint/

You just hold down the Alt button and type in the number. Hopefully that helps!

It seems that the 'ô' is called the circumflex. That's kind of erotic!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> In that case, try these http://sites.psu.edu/symbolcodes/windows/codealt/
> http://sites.psu.edu/symbolcodes/windows/codeint/
> 
> You just hold down the Alt button and type in the number. Hopefully that helps!
> 
> It seems that the 'ô' is called the circumflex. That's kind of erotic!


Thanks for helping me with my umlauts!

The circumflex is kind of an ironic name for it, because it has that little flap on its head...it looks like it's uncircumcised! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> The circumflex is kind of an ironic name for it, because it has that little flap on its head...it looks like it's uncircumcised! :lol:


I know! Hopefully the circumflex does not have an appointment with the scissors!  I know I'm biased, but an uncircumcised Þ is the way to go!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I know! Hopefully the circumflex does not have an appointment with the scissors!  I know I'm biased, but an uncircumcised Þ is the way to go!


I totally agree with you! It makes the whole process much smoother, with more lubrication. (Not that I need the man to supply any of that...I've got enough of my own, provided that I can listen to a Beethoven symphony during the act!) :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Thanks for helping me with my umlauts!
> 
> The circumflex is kind of an ironic name for it, because it has that little flap on its head...it looks like it's uncircumcised! :lol:


Zappa favourite was also the Apostrophe (')


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I totally agree with you! It makes the whole process much smoother, with more lubrication. (Not that I need the man to supply any of that...I've got enough of my own, provided that I can listen to a Beethoven symphony during the act!) :lol:


Plus, all the good nerves are in there! Besides, genital mutilation is just weird. Any parents who do that need to be sent to Genital Hospital.


----------



## Totenfeier

(sigh)

*Instruments That Are Stroked vs Instruments that are Blown vs Instruments that are Slapped Around and Beaten a Little with Special Equipment - Your Favorite?*


----------



## Klassik

Totenfeier said:


> (sigh)
> 
> *Instruments That Are Stroked vs Instruments that are Blown vs Instruments that are Slapped Around and Beaten a Little with Special Equipment - Your Favorite?*


The Þ is a versatile instrument! You can do all of those to them!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Coke Or Dope?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Which Composer Would Make the Best US president?


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which Composer Would Make the Best US president?


Starts wit a V and ends like arese


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Which Composer Would Make the Best Spouse?

a)The one with the best compositional (ie finger) technique
b) The with the biggest..........
c) The one with the best breath


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which Composer Would Make the Best US president?


Richard Wagner

:lol:

Ok, seriously, Rossini. It seems that having a model for a wife gets you pretty far politically!



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which Composer Would Make the Best Spouse?
> 
> a)The one with the best compositional (ie finger) technique
> b) The with the biggest..........
> c) The one with the best breath


Eddie, are these the criteria that you use to find a spouse?  But, hey, at least you look for good breath. Unfortunately, this eliminates Beethoven off your list no matter how big his endowment is and how good his fingering technique is according to Bettina's wet dreams! 



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Coke Or Dope?


Wait, they aren't the same thing?


----------



## hpowders

Yogurt culture and classical music. Preferred yogurt when listening?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Mango is the answer!


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Preferred yogurt when listening?


I prefer Mel Brooks


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yogurt culture and classical music. Preferred yogurt when listening?


As John Harvey Kellogg would recommend, "a pint of yogurt-half was eaten, the other half was administered by enema." This is to prevent thoughts about self-touching! That distraction is always such a detriment to focused classical music listening! 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Harvey_Kellogg


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Richard Wagner
> 
> :lol:
> 
> Ok, seriously, Rossini. It seems that having a model for a wife gets you pretty far politically!
> 
> Eddie, are these the criteria that you use to find a spouse?  But, hey, at least you look for good breath. *Unfortunately, this eliminates Beethoven off your list no matter how big his endowment is and how good his fingering technique is according to Bettina's wet dreams!*


Beethoven's bad breath wouldn't be a problem for me! I would just make sure to use a position where we wouldn't be face to face. Maybe doggy style would work?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Beethoven's bad breath wouldn't be a problem for me! I would just make sure to use a position where we wouldn't be face to face. Maybe doggy style would work?












_"Sounds good to me!"_

Just kidding! 

I think Beethoven (Ludwig) would approve of the doggy style. He can take care of business while he composes on a piece of paper on your back! Perhaps this is how the Erotica was written! 

Poll: Who has worse breath, Beethoven or Beethoven the dog?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> _"Sounds good to me!"_
> 
> Just kidding!
> 
> I think Beethoven (Ludwig) would approve of the doggy style. He can take care of business while he composes on a piece of paper on your back! Perhaps this is how the Erotica was written!
> 
> *Poll: Who has worse breath, Beethoven or Beethoven the dog?*


Probably Beethoven the composer! You can always hold down a dog and forcibly brush his teeth. I don't think Beethoven the composer would allow that!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Probably Beethoven the composer! You can always hold down a dog and forcibly brush his teeth. I don't think Beethoven the composer would allow that!


I once tried to clean a cat's teeth. You can guess how that went! The cat tried to bite me! Well, I guess Ludwig would do the same thing! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which Composer Would Make the Best US president?


Charles Ives. More of an American patriot than Trump, Bush the younger, or either Clinton, could ever be.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Probably Beethoven the composer! You can always hold down a dog and forcibly brush his teeth. I don't think Beethoven the composer would allow that!


He would if you put some Ecstasy in his beer.


----------



## hpowders

So whom would you rather have over for a Passover Seder? Arnold Schönberg or Benjamin Britten?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Apologies for Tonality and Atonality


----------



## Jacred

More ostinatos like this, like this, like this, like this, like this, like this, like this.....


----------



## Klassik

Any suggestions for Klassik's Post No. 666? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Any suggestions for Klassik's Post No. 666? :devil:


A post about being horny would be a good idea for No. 666!


----------



## Bettina

Thread: what happens in your life - come in and gross us out!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> A post about being horny would be a good idea for No. 666!


I'm not sure if the moderators would approve of me discussing how horny I am on the main forums! Perhaps I should create a group on this subject? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> A post about being horny would be a good idea for No. 666!


You devils You :angel:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> A post about being horny would be a good idea for No. 666!





EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You devils You :angel:


Maybe I should post a video of me performing my Piano Concerto for the 11th Finger? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Maybe I should post a video of me performing my Piano Concerto for the 11th Finger? :lol:


Nah! A pencil drawing would be more than enough.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Nah! A pencil drawing would be more than enough.


My drawings are terrible, but that might be the appeal of them? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Maybe I should post a video of me performing my Piano Concerto for the 11th Finger? :lol:


Imagine the slide guitar you could do too- double slides at the same time wow............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Composers you used to be intimate with but now dislike


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Greatest Great Wall ever


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Composers you used to be intimate with but now dislike


I once went to this dark disco in Bonn. I felt a nibble on my earlobe. The nibble felt a little aggressive and man-like so I said, "Are you a woman?"

I didn't get a response so I figured, what the hell? Boy was I in for a surprise when they turned the strobe light on!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I once went to this dark disco in Bonn. I felt a nibble on my earlobe. The nibble felt a little aggressive and man-like so I said, "Are you a woman?"
> 
> I didn't get a response so I figured, what the hell? Boy was I in for a surprise when they turned the strobe light on!


Some people have all the luck! Why couldn't that have happened to me instead?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Some people have all the luck! Why couldn't that have happened to me instead?


Ludwig noticed that you skipped your Brazilian wax sessions! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Ludwig noticed that you skipped your Brazilian wax sessions! :lol:


I guess I shouldn't have worn a see-through white dress that night! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Time Machine for sale: used twice for one round trip. Reasonable. Bitcoin.


----------



## hpowders

Your favorite composers who played fairly.


----------



## hpowders

What annoys you the most about Beethoven?

For me, it is that he was too good a composer. I hate that!!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> *What annoys you the most about Beethoven?*
> 
> For me, it is that he was too good a composer. I hate that!!


The fact that he's dead! Such an annoying inconvenience, getting in the way of my marriage plans.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The fact that he's dead! Such an annoying inconvenience, getting in the way of my marriage plans.


He should have been frozen for possible future resuscitation.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> He should have been frozen for possible future resuscitation.


Lets start a crowd funding campain to clone Beethoven................ if there is any DNA left!


----------



## hpowders

21 Century Listening Chains: sizes of 12 links, 15 links & 24 links available. Reasonable. Bitcoin.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> What annoys you the most about Beethoven?
> 
> For me, it is that he was too good a composer. I hate that!!


Hey, why not? I've heard this as a legitimate complaint against Mozart!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Hey, why not? I've heard this as a legitimate complaint against Mozart!


Yes. Mozart made it look too easy. I hate that!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> He should have been frozen for possible future resuscitation.


You could say that he was frozen when he was alive given the reports of his love life! 



hpowders said:


> Yes. Mozart made it look too easy. I hate that!!


Again, this is a legitimate complaint I've heard about Mozart! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your favorite composers who plagiarised others works.


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favorite composers who plagiarised others works.


Beethoven, of course. One of these days Mozart will get the credit he deserves for K. 222!

Stupid thread idea: Would the "Which Composer Would Make the Best Spouse?" thread be considered an opera or a ballet?


----------



## Klassik

Which Talk Classical Member Would Make the Best Spouse?


----------



## Jacred

Did Michael Jackson enjoy your voice?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Which Talk Classical Member Would Make the Best Spouse?


You need to ask?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Which Talk Classical Member Would Make the Best Spouse?


I think I'd make a pretty good spouse. I'd encourage my husband to dress up as Beethoven and compose in the style of the great master.


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You need to ask?


No, but I like it when my ego gets pumped up when people vote for ole' Klassik! 



Bettina said:


> I think I'd make a pretty good spouse. I'd encourage my husband to dress up as Beethoven and compose in the style of the great master.


You would make a great spouse! Like Beethoven, I could really let myself go! Not bathe for weeks, never brush my teeth, and just throw food around the room! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> No, but I like it when my ego gets pumped up when people vote for ole' Klassik!
> 
> You would make a great spouse! Like Beethoven, I could really let myself go! Not bathe for weeks, never brush my teeth, and just throw food around the room! :lol:


In order to get away with such behavior, you'd have to compose the world's greatest masterpieces! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> In order to get away with such behavior, you'd have to compose the world's greatest masterpieces! :lol:


I already helped revise 4'33" into a masterpiece though! Many thought that was mission impossible! :devil:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Which composer would make me enchiladas?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Which composer would make me enchiladas?


Cheechart..........................


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Which composer would make me enchiladas?


Manuel Ponce might have, but he's dead. I can get you a chimichanga if you want though! 
Are enchiladas popular in Norway? :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Is that an enchilada?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Enchiladas are awesome, we have burritos more often though, not too spicy for the wife.


----------



## Dr Johnson

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Enchiladas are awesome, *we have burritos more often though,* not too spicy for the wife.


Mrs Johnson has a yen for donkeys too.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Dr Johnson said:


> Mrs Johnson has a yen for donkeys too.


That's a confusing sentence...


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Enchiladas are awesome, we have burritos more often though, not too spicy for the wife.


We used to have a few Norwegian exchange students when I was in high school way back when. I used to be friends with them since they would take German classes. Those were some crazy dudes! They were almost as big of party animals as the Aussies!

True story: One of the Norwegian exchange students was so beloved by his host family that they decided to stop feeding him. :lol: At least they found another host for him. Something similar happened to a German exchange student. That German girl was the only girl I've ever seen that had a true beer belly. 

True story #2: Once I was driving somewhere with one of the Norwegians, a girl, and another friend. The Norwegian and the girl were both in the back seat. The girl found the Norwegian so annoying that she made me stop the car on the Interstate so she could get into the front seat away from the Norwegian! She then wanted me to ditch him when I made a stop so he could use the ATM machine. :lol: Fortunately, I was too kind to do that!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Coming soon to a store near you: Don's Alternative Tapes


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Coming soon to a store near you: Don's Alternative Tapes


I see that the Jolly Roger is next to the polka dots. Seems appropriate.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

FART! Coming soon to a nose near you.


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> FART! Coming soon to a nose near you.


Easy with those bean burritos up there, Kjetil!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Klassik said:


> We used to have a few Norwegian exchange students when I was in high school way back when. I used to be friends with them since they would take German classes. Those were some crazy dudes! They were almost as big of party animals as the Aussies!
> 
> True story: One of the Norwegian exchange students was so beloved by his host family that they decided to stop feeding him. :lol: At least they found another host for him. Something similar happened to a German exchange student. That German girl was the only girl I've ever seen that had a true beer belly.
> 
> True story #2: Once I was driving somewhere with one of the Norwegians, a girl, and another friend. The Norwegian and the girl were both in the back seat. The girl found the Norwegian so annoying that she made me stop the car on the Interstate so she could get into the front seat away from the Norwegian! She then wanted me to ditch him when I made a stop so he could use the ATM machine. :lol: Fortunately, I was too kind to do that!


I checked the internet for "most beerdrinkiest nations" and was surprised that neither Australians or Norwegians were that high on the list. Eastern Europe and Russia is the drunkest


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I checked the internet for "most beerdrinkiest nations" and was surprised that neither Australians or Norwegians were that high on the list. Eastern Europe and Russia is the drunkest


Yeah, no surprise about the Russians!

I used to keep the Norwegians in line by telling them that the Swedes have better looking women. I almost caused an international war by saying that! :lol:

As for the Australians, I hope that Foster's isn't really Australian for beer. That stuff is terrible! Trust me, we know about terrible beer here in the US!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Haha! Let me apologize for my fellow Norwegians. We always have to think we're the best...I see it as though Norway and Sweden are almost the same country. Sweden has almost twice the population and must be the reason why you though the girls were prettier there...


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favorite composers who plagiarised others works.


Beethoven. He stole everything from Hummel including his china!


----------



## hpowders

Workshop Announcement: Learn how to become genuous, even after many years of being disingenuous.

Amazing discovery! Reasonable. Bitcoin.

If you answer this ad within 7 minutes, two My Pillows, absolutely free ($19.85 delivery charge, extra).


----------



## hpowders

What annoys you about Beethoven?

As for me, he didn't even know my name!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Haha! Let me apologize for my fellow Norwegians. We always have to think we're the best...I see it as though Norway and Sweden are almost the same country. Sweden has almost twice the population and must be the reason why you though the girls were prettier there...


To be honest, I'm not sure if I've ever knowingly seen a Norwegian woman! You figure that there would be some around here given the strong links Houston has to Norway given the oil industry. Oh well, I'm sure they're beautiful too. But, yeah, I noticed the high level of pride Norwegians have! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> What annoys you about Beethoven?
> 
> As for me, he didn't even know my name!


Don't blame me, I kept telling Beethoven how great you are. He wouldn't hear anything of it!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Don't blame me, I kept telling Beethoven how great you are. He wouldn't hear anything of it!


You coulda written it in his conversation book!


----------



## hpowders

Is atonality disingenuous?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> You coulda written it in his conversation book!


I was going to, but I got distracted by all the Mozart gossip in there. That thing was worse than the National Enquirer!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Beethoven symphony interpretations by disingenuous conductors and orchestras?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I think I'd make a pretty good spouse. I'd encourage my husband to dress up as Beethoven and compose in the style of the great master.


Yes and the Titanic would make a pretty good ship.


----------



## Bettina

When I go back in time to visit Beethoven, I promise to tell him all about my wonderful friends hpowders and Klassik! Of course, I'll assure Beethoven that these friendships are completely platonic.


----------



## hpowders

Refugee from Amazon. Ten day visa.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> When I go back in time to visit Beethoven, I promise to tell him all about my wonderful friends hpowders and Klassik! Of course, I'll assure Beethoven that these friendships are completely platonic.


My parents claimed their relationship with me was strictly platonic, so I'm already good at that.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> When I go back in time to visit Beethoven, I promise to tell him all about my wonderful friends hpowders and Klassik! Of course, I'll assure Beethoven that these friendships are completely platonic.


Also tell him I have a bad cold. I need sympathy from anywhere I can get it. Will you be driving on the Auto-Bonn to meet him?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> When I go back in time to visit Beethoven, I promise to tell him all about my wonderful friends hpowders and Klassik! Of course, I'll assure Beethoven that these friendships are completely platonic.


You can do that, but I'll write Beethoven some salacious letters about you. Maybe it'll get him in the mood! Maybe not! :lol:

If this time machine ever works out, will you put the cat fight between you and Bettina von Arnim on pay-per-view? I feel like this will be a big hit! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You can do that, but I'll write Beethoven some salacious letters about you. Maybe it'll get him in the mood! Maybe not! :lol:
> 
> If this time machine ever works out, will you put the cat fight between you and Bettina von Arnim on pay-per-view? I feel like this will be a big hit! :devil:


I don't think she'll be jealous. She'll understand that a great man like Beethoven deserves two girlfriends. We'll probably have a threesome, consisting of Ludwig and his two Bettinas!


----------



## hpowders

It's no secret that TC can be rather cacophonous. Does anyone know when harmony will begin?


----------



## hpowders

Would you rather be a composer, performer, or a heroin dealer?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Also tell him I have a bad cold. I need sympathy from anywhere I can get it. Will you be driving on the Auto-Bonn to meet him?


I'm sorry that you're still suffering from that cold! I'll ask Beethoven to write you a Lydian mode song of recovery.

Cars hadn't been invented yet, so I'll probably have to ride a horse! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I don't think she'll be jealous. She'll understand that a great man like Beethoven deserves two girlfriends. We'll probably have a threesome, consisting of Ludwig and his two Bettinas!


Ok, will this be on pay-per-view? This sounds even hotter than the cat fight! :devil:



hpowders said:


> Would you rather be a composer, performer, or a heroin dealer?


Well, the latter certainly pays the best! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm sorry that you're still suffering from that cold! I'll ask Beethoven to write you a Lydian mode song of recovery.
> 
> Cars hadn't been invented yet, so I'll probably have to ride a horse! :lol:


Thank you!

Advice: Put a clothespin on your nose, and not just for the horse.

After your visit, you may decide to add Beethoven as the third stooge on your platonic relationship list.

Just try and compose yourself in his presence. The hype may not match the man.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Ok, will this be on pay-per-view? This sounds even hotter than the cat fight! :devil:
> 
> Well, the latter certainly pays the best! :lol:


That's why I listed it as a choice. There is always a scientific, well-researched basis for my stupid polls.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Yeah, no surprise about the Russians!
> 
> I used to keep the Norwegians in line by telling them that the Swedes have better looking women. I almost caused an international war by saying that! :lol:
> 
> As for the Australians, I hope that Foster's isn't really Australian for beer. That stuff is terrible! Trust me, we know about terrible beer here in the US!


Let you in on an Oz secret- Fosters is just for export, no one drinks it here anyway we havn't moved beyond XXXX as our favorite beer.

PS I wonder what was Beethoven fav beer?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> *Ok, will this be on pay-per-view?* This sounds even hotter than the cat fight! :devil:
> 
> Well, the latter certainly pays the best! :lol:


I'll try my best to videotape it for pay-per-view, but I'm not sure if any of the technology will work in the early 19th century!


----------



## hpowders

Would you rather be a composer, performer or neutered for platonic relationships?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Would you rather be a composer, performer or neutered for platonic relationships?


I never said the relationships actually _were _platonic! :lol: What I said is, that's my official story that I'm telling Beethoven, so that he won't get jealous.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I never said the relationships actually _were _platonic! :lol: What I said is, that's my official story that I'm telling Beethoven, so that he won't get jealous.


Okay. So there is still hope.


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Let you in on an Oz secret- Fosters is just for export, no one drinks it here anyway we havn't moved beyond XXXX as our favorite beer.
> 
> PS I wonder what was Beethoven fav beer?


Well, whatever it is must have bite. Bitburger maybe? :lol:



Bettina said:


> I'll try my best to videotape it for pay-per-view, but I'm not sure if any of the technology will work in the early 19th century!


Ooh! That's some vintage eroticism there! Kind of reminds me of my younger days when I'd have to watch pornos through scrambled analog cable channels. You never really knew if you were looking at a boob or a sausage! 



hpowders said:


> Would you rather be a composer, performer or neutered for platonic relationships?


Not the last one this time, that's for sure!


----------



## hpowders

Is the best interpretation of the Brahms Violin Concerto better than the best interpretation of the Brahms Piano Concerto No. 2?

References. Sources. Footnotes.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, whatever it is must have bite. Bitburger maybe? :lol:
> 
> Ooh! That's some vintage eroticism there! Kind of reminds me of my younger days when I'd have to watch pornos through scrambled analog cable channels. You never really knew if you were looking at a boob or a sausage!
> 
> Not the last one this time, that's for sure!


Yeah, but you could sing Handel countertenor arias as they were meant to be sung. Don't be so hung up! Have an open mind! (Better him than me!!)


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Wow! I went out for a smoke and the stupid thread ideas went on without me! How do I jump into a silly discussion about music, beer and relationships?


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Wow! I went out for a smoke and the stupid thread ideas went on without me! How do I jump into a silly discussion about music, beer and relationships?


Post some sexy diacritical marks. That should help us turn up the heat even further!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Wömen, wine and söng...or the German version...Beer, p***y and hornmusic.


----------



## hpowders

What is the record number for how many threads on TC may be worded a bit differently, but ask the exact same thing?


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Wömen, wine and söng...or the German version...Beer, p***y and hornmusic.


This is great! I wonder if any diacritical marks are lurking behind those three asterisks in p***y...


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

200345067787 ways to sing "I love you"


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> This is great! I wonder if any diacritical marks are lurking behind those three asterisks in p***y...


What about an eszett? Pußy? Nah, that doesn't look too sexy! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> What about an eszett? Pußy? Nah, that doesn't look too sexy! :lol:


I think it looks pretty sexy...that ß looks like a pair of boobs if you tilt your head and look at it sideways.


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> 200345067787 ways to sing "I love you"


I'm more of a ballet guy than a singing/opera guy. I'd prefer to communicate the idea of love through 200345067787 pelvic thrusts!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'm more of a ballet guy than a singing/opera guy. I'd prefer to communicate the idea of love through 200345067787 pelvic thrusts!


Wow, that's some impressive stamina you've got there! :tiphat:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Your favorite rabbit ballet?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think it looks pretty sexy...that ß looks like a pair of boobs if you tilt your head and look at it sideways.


What about the Greek lower case omega, ω? Or the Georgian letters დ and ტ? Or the circle dot operator, ⊙? ⨀ too. :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Wow, that's some impressive stamina you've got there! :tiphat:


What can I say, I'm a very passionate fellow! :devil:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Typical klassik rabbit. Sorry Sam (maybe you know the joke)


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Typical klassik rabbit. Sorry Sam (maybe you know the joke)


I'm listening to Wellington's Victory! I hope it's not rabbit season!


----------



## Klassik

Cholera vs. Opera

 I'd take my chances with cholera!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Cholera vs. Opera
> 
> I'd take my chances with cholera!


I'm with you on that one- good god my sister is an Opera Singer, I must have done something really bad in a past life to deserve that!


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm with you on that one- good god my sister is an Opera Singer, I must have done something really bad in a past life to deserve that!


 Varese is like some super peaceful New Age music compared to the horrors of operatic singing! My sincerest apologies!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Varese is like some super peaceful New Age music compared to the horrors of operatic singing! My sincerest apologies!


Absolutely, at close quarters there should be a public health warning about Operatic singing..........


----------



## Bettina

Poll: when you welcome new members to TC, do you pretend to be normal or do you show your true colors right off the bat?


----------



## Bettina

^I always tell myself that I'll pretend to be normal. But I never pull it off very well! Before I know it, I find myself telling the new member that I have sexual fantasies about a dead man. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Poll: when you welcome new members to TC, do you pretend to be normal or do you show your true colors right off the bat?





Bettina said:


> ^I always tell myself that I'll pretend to be normal. But I never pull it off very well! Before I know it, I find myself telling the new member that I have sexual fantasies about a dead man. :lol:


True colors! It's kind of like boot camp or rookie hazing. Only few will persist and survive, but we'll know the survivors are one of us!



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Absolutely, at close quarters there should be a public health warning about Operatic singing..........


Agreed! Maybe that's what Varese's sirens are all about? 

STI: Is it disingenuous to like opera and dislike Varese?

STI #2: Can you like Shostakovich without liking Moon Pies?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> True colors! It's kind of like boot camp or rookie hazing. Only few will persist and survive, but we'll know the survivors are one of us!
> 
> Agreed! Maybe that's what Varese's sirens are all about?
> 
> STI: Is it disingenuous to like opera and dislike Varese?
> 
> *STI #2: Can you like Shostakovich without liking Moon Pies?*


I think Shostakovich would have hated Moon Pies. The very thought of the moon would have made him angry, because the Americans made it to the moon before the Soviets!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think Shostakovich would have hated Moon Pies. The very thought of the moon would have made him angry, because the Americans made it to the moon before the Soviets!


So you're saying that Shostakovich cratered when Neil Armstrong and company landed on the moon? :lol:

I'm not sure if I buy that. The Soviets just claimed it was fake news anyway!


----------



## JeffD

Stupid Thread Idea: Is so and so the best violinist of the decade, or the best violinist of the century. Discuss.


----------



## Bettina

True confession: I dislike Nørgård's music, but I would probably marry him for his diacritical marks! The 49-year age difference isn't an issue...after all, my true love Beethoven is a whopping 211 years older than me! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> True confession: I dislike Nørgård's music, but I would probably marry him for his diacritical marks! The 49-year age difference isn't an issue...after all, my true love Beethoven is a whopping 211 years older than me! :lol:


This marriage can't happen! The 'ø" means closed for business! 

I do wish I had an 'å" in my name instead of a regular 'A.' It would make it clear how much of an angel I am! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

What kind of car would your favorite composer drive?

I think Beethoven would drive this 1971 VW Super Beetle from the movie _Uncle Buck_.










Beethoven kind of reminds me of Uncle Buck. Well, except for the part where Uncle Buck turns out to be a good uncle. Beethoven, OTOH... 

True story: A much younger Klassik posed for a picture with that very Beetle at some sort of museum in San Francisco (I think, it might have been LA or Las Vegas) in 1990!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> What kind of car would your favorite composer drive?
> 
> I think Beethoven would drive this 1971 VW Super Beetle from the movie _Uncle Buck_.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Beethoven kind of reminds me of Uncle Buck. Well, except for the part where Uncle Buck turns out to be a good uncle. Beethoven, OTOH...
> 
> True story: A much younger Klassik posed for a picture with that very Beetle at some sort of museum in San Francisco (I think, it might have been LA or Las Vegas) in 1990!


That's an amazing car, but I suspect that Beethoven would prefer a Hyundai Sonata!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's an amazing car, but I suspect that Beethoven would prefer a Hyundai Sonata!


And not a Kia Forte?

Well, anyway, we know good and well that Beethoven wouldn't drive a Korean car! It would have to be German. Maybe something like this:










Or is that actually hpowders' BMW? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Tchaikovsky's wheels:










:tiphat:


----------



## Bettina

Debussy might like these fancy French cars:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Debussy might like these fancy French cars:


Good choice, the color does remind me of the sea!

I'm not sure who would drive a Ford Edsel, but it would be someone who likes some...well...guess for yourself!










Maybe Bach given his 20 kids?


----------



## Klassik

Real headline: Meet the composer who licked Beethoven's carpet
https://www.spectator.co.uk/2017/06/meet-the-composer-who-licked-beethovens-carpet/

Stupid Thread Idea: Would you rather lick Beethoven's carpet or have Beethoven lick your carpet?

Of course, some people (I'm looking in the direction of California!) don't have carpet. I guess they'll have to lick Beethoven's carpet by default!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> And not a Kia Forte?
> 
> Well, anyway, we know good and well that Beethoven wouldn't drive a Korean car! It would have to be German. Maybe something like this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Or is that actually hpowders' BMW?* :lol:


Nope. This one is:









Click on it to make it bigger.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Nope. This one is:
> 
> View attachment 95517
> 
> 
> *Click on it to make it bigger*.


Oh, so it gets bigger when it's stimulated?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Oh, so it gets bigger when it's stimulated?


Doesn't it always? :devil:


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> True confession:* I dislike Nørgård's music*, but I would probably marry him for his diacritical marks! The 49-year age difference isn't an issue...after all, my true love Beethoven is a whopping 211 years older than me! :lol:


You could probably live with this rec.


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> Oh, so it gets bigger when it's stimulated?


----------



## Bettina

HEY GUYS (and gals, if there are any others besides me!) I'm at 1,999 posts. What should I do for my 2,000th post in the main forum? 

1. A description of what I would do to Ludwig if he were alive
2. A list of the sexiest diacritical marks
3. A detailed analysis of whether to continue "waxing the carpet"
4. A list of euphemisms such as sausage, corncob, cucumber, etc.


----------



## Bettina

Seriously, I'm having a huge problem here: I can't post in the main forum until I come with something worthy of my post no. 2,000. I'd hate to waste my 2,000th post on some random comment on whether 4'33" is or isn't music! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Special message for Klassik*: thanks for asking me about my favorite harpsichord piece to play. I'm sorry that I can't answer it yet - I want to save my 2,000th post for something sexier. :lol:

*Don't get your hopes up...that's MESSAGE not MASSAGE! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Oh, so it gets bigger when it's stimulated?


I guess, if "clicking" is considered stimulating.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Seriously, I'm having a huge problem here: I can't post in the main forum until I come with something worthy of my post no. 2,000. I'd hate to waste my 2,000th post on some random comment on whether 4'33" is or isn't music! :lol:


Oh. Just do it.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Oh. Just do it.


I can't waste this milestone on John Cage! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I can't waste this milestone on John Cage! :lol:


Do it for Beethoven.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Do it for Beethoven.


Good idea, thanks for the suggestion! Now I just have to find a thread where he fits in...I can't randomly spam the site with "I LOVE LUDWIG!"*

*Actually, I've done this very thing on many occasions!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> HEY GUYS (and gals, if there are any others besides me!) I'm at 1,999 posts. What should I do for my 2,000th post in the main forum?
> 
> 1. A description of what I would do to Ludwig if he were alive
> 2. A list of the sexiest diacritical marks
> 3. A detailed analysis of whether to continue "waxing the carpet"
> 4. A list of euphemisms such as sausage, corncob, cucumber, etc.


All of the above!



Bettina said:


> Seriously, I'm having a huge problem here: I can't post in the main forum until I come with something worthy of my post no. 2,000. I'd hate to waste my 2,000th post on some random comment on whether 4'33" is or isn't music! :lol:


I had similar feelings on Thursday night when I reached post no. 666! I think I posted about orchestrating 4'33". You might remember that post! :devil:



Bettina said:


> Special message for Klassik*: thanks for asking me about my favorite harpsichord piece to play. I'm sorry that I can't answer it yet - I want to save my 2,000th post for something sexier.
> 
> *Don't get your hopes up...that's MESSAGE not MASSAGE! :lol:


 Can I get a massage when you're done writing about Beethoven waxing his corncob while listening to Händel? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Good idea, thanks for the suggestion! Now I just have to find a thread where he fits in...I can't randomly spam the site with "I LOVE LUDWIG!"*
> 
> *Actually, I've done this very thing on many occasions!


Or you could study intensively for several weeks and take a chance posting on a Wagner thread, but at the risk of complete humiliation and fff group laughter.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> All of the above!
> 
> I had similar feelings on Thursday night when I reached post no. 666! I think I posted about orchestrating 4'33". You might remember that post! :devil:
> 
> * Can I get a massage when you're done writing about Beethoven waxing his corncob while listening to Händel?* :lol:


OK, but I need to warn you: I'm a very innocent, chaste girl and I refuse to give happy endings! I'm sorry that I'm not going to Händel your corncob.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Or you could study intensively for several weeks and take a chance posting on a Wagner thread, but at the risk of complete humiliation and fff group laughter.


If I have to wait until I've done my Wagner homework, I'll NEVER make it to my 2,000th post!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> HEY GUYS (and gals, if there are any others besides me!) I'm at 1,999 posts. What should I do for my 2,000th post in the main forum?
> 
> 1. A description of what I would do to Ludwig if he were alive
> 2. A list of the sexiest diacritical marks
> 3. A detailed analysis of whether to continue "waxing the carpet"
> 4. A list of euphemisms such as sausage, corncob, cucumber, etc.


I see nothing here about panties. Maybe a post about your preferred panties while playing the harpsichord? It has to be a G-string, right? 

I won't ask if you've played the organ! 

Bettina, have you played the organ? :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If I have to wait until I've done my Wagner homework, I'll NEVER make it to my 2,000th post!


Okay. I'll let them know not to expect you for a group hug.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> OK, but I need to warn you: I'm a very innocent, chaste girl and I refuse to give happy endings! I'm sorry that I'm not going to Händel your corncob.


That's ok. I have a special key to your chastity belt. It's the same key that goes to the harpsichord room! :devil:

Oh, and I've heard rumors that Händel liked his corncobs. They're just rumors though!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I see nothing here about panties. Maybe a post about your preferred panties while playing the harpsichord? It has to be a G-string, right?
> 
> I won't ask if you've played the organ!
> 
> Bettina, have you played the organ? :devil:


Actually, I never have (assuming that you're referring to the musical instrument ). The foot keyboard is intimidating...I don't feel like I could hit the right keys with my hands and feet at the same time!


----------



## hpowders

Would you rather be a composer, performer, or poster?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Always wanted to be a poser!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Actually, I never have (assuming that you're referring to the musical instrument ). The foot keyboard is intimidating...I don't feel like I could hit the right keys with my hands and feet at the same time!


I'm referring to the pipe organ of course! :devil:

It sounds like you need some footsie practice! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Always wanted to be a poser!


It's a wonderful world! Klassik knows all about it! :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Your favorite poser?


----------



## Klassik

Most Polarizing Poster?


----------



## Klassik

Is Shocksakovich the Most Polarizing Composer?


----------



## hpowders

Favorite posts you've had to modify on TC?


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: I notice several posters seem to spend most of the day "monitoring activity stream".
Should I do this too? Is it more relaxing than posting? Does it relieve stress?
I just want to do it right!


----------



## Bettina

In the Current Listening thread, someone omitted Martinů's circle. Should I make that my 2,000th post?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Newbie here: I notice several posters seem to spend most of the day "monitoring activity stream".
> Should I do this too? Is it more relaxing than posting? Does it relieve stress?
> I just want to do it right!


No. You don't want to know what's going on in here! 

Stupid Thread Idea: Can anyone recommend any composers from Rwanda, please? If not, I'll settle for composers from Chad. The ones I've already heard from there really leave me hanging!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> In the Current Listening thread, someone omitted Martinů's circle. Should I make that my 2,000th post?


Nah. That would be a waste of an important landmark post.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Wednesday mid-morning favorites.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> In the Current Listening thread, someone omitted Martinů's circle. Should I make that my 2,000th post?


That sounds like something you would do! If nothing else, you can put some PDQ Bach in the Current Listening thread. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Martinu and I travel in different circles. You can Czech it out if you don't believe me.


----------



## hpowders

Organ Section:

New Balance releases its "D minor" model organ pedal sneakers.

Reasonable. Bitcoin. No returns.


----------



## Klassik

STI on the New Members-Introductions forum: Hi, I'm Bettina. I have 2,000 posts, but I just signed up here. Did you know that I want to have sex with Beethoven? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> STI on the New Members-Introductions forum: Hi, I'm Bettina. I have 2,000 posts, but I just signed up here. Did you know that I want to have sex with Beethoven? :lol:


Yeah. That would be impressive.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah. That would be impressive.


Just see how much TCers pay attention. Tell them that you want an orgy with Schoenberg, Mahler, and Bruckner. :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> STI on the New Members-Introductions forum: Hi, I'm Bettina. I have 2,000 posts, but I just signed up here. Did you know that I want to have sex with Beethoven? :lol:


I tried something like that yesterday in a welcome thread for a new member. Sadly, the new member never came back. Do you think I scared him off?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Posers that you used to dislike but now worship.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Just see how much TCers pay attention. Tell them that you want an orgy with Schoenberg, Mahler, and Bruckner. :lol:


Mahler and Bruckner might actually be pretty good lovers - they certainly could last a long time!

As for Schoenberg, he wouldn't be any good. He'd insist on touching every other spot on my body before coming back to the important spot! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I tried something like that yesterday in a welcome thread for a new member. Sadly, the new member never came back. Do you think I scared him off?


Maybe he simply had a coronary as a result of...you know...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Mahler and Bruckner might actually be pretty good lovers - they certainly could last a long time!
> 
> As for Schoenberg, he wouldn't be any good. He'd insist on touching every other spot on my body before coming back to the important spot! :lol:


:lol:

Mahler, the 40 year old virgin who was as limp as a Vienna sausage. Bruckner, well, how old was he when he died? 

"Hi, I'm Bettina. I hate Mahler, Schoenberg, Bruckner, Prokofiev, and Sibelius. I also want to have sex with Beethoven. How long will I last without getting banned?"


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> :lol:
> 
> Mahler, the 40 year old virgin who was as limp as a Vienna sausage. Bruckner, well, how old was he when he died?
> 
> "Hi, I'm Bettina. I hate Mahler, Schoenberg, Bruckner, Prokofiev, and Sibelius. I also want to have sex with Beethoven. How long will I last without getting banned?"


Depends. She may eventually MOD-erate her stance.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I tried something like that yesterday in a welcome thread for a new member. Sadly, the new member never came back. Do you think I scared him off?


It wasn't you, it was me. I've gone all week without taking a bath or brushing my teeth. I'm trying to simulate the Beethoven experience. I think I ran that poor chap off! 



Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Posers that you used to dislike but now worship.


Klassik. 

STI based on poor reading comprehension: Smile or sin?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Poll: when you welcome new members to TC, do you pretend to be normal or do you show your true colors right off the bat?


i just direct them striaght to my TC Blog posts - that usually does the trick:devil:
http://www.talkclassical.com/blogs/eddierukiddingvarese/


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Good choice, the color does remind me of the sea!
> 
> I'm not sure who would drive a Ford Edsel, but it would be someone who likes some...well...guess for yourself!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe Bach given his 20 kids?


The best composers drove Hillmans


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The best composers drove Hillmans


Mahler drove a Hillman Imp


----------



## Klassik

Shamelessly stolen from the CD covers thread:










Bettina, is that you? You're blonde? And what's up with Beethoven's neck? And why is his hair cut? I'm confused.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> :lol:
> 
> Mahler, the 40 year old virgin who was as limp as a Vienna sausage. Bruckner, well, how old was he when he died?
> 
> "Hi, I'm Bettina. I hate Mahler, Schoenberg, Bruckner, Prokofiev, and Sibelius. I also want to have sex with Beethoven. How long will I last without getting banned?"


I should also add a sentence about how diacritical marks turn me on! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Shamelessly stolen from the CD covers thread:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> lol
> 
> Bettina, is that you? You're blonde? And what's up with Beethoven's neck? And why is his hair cut? I'm confused.


lol lol :lol: Bloody funny


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Shamelessly stolen from the CD covers thread:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bettina, is that you? You're blonde? And what's up with Beethoven's neck? And why is his hair cut? I'm confused.


I think that must be the other Bettina - my rival Bettina von Arnim. She seduced my Ludwig and she gave him a Samson-style haircut!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think that must be the other Bettina - my rival Bettina von Arnim. She seduced my Ludwig and she gave him a Samson-style haircut!


Yeah, must be. We all know your panties would totally be off in that situation! :devil:

Perhaps you should write a romance novel (well, a short one at least) for your 2,000th post. Ole Klassik should have a role in it!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, must be. We all know your panties would totally be off in that situation! :devil:
> 
> Perhaps you should write a romance novel (well, a short one at least) for your 2,000th post. Ole Klassik should have a role in it!


I should write an erotic story about an orgy involving Bettina, Klassik, hpowders, and of course Ludwig! Maybe Eddie would like to join in too...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I should write an erotic story about an orgy involving Bettina, Klassik, hpowders, and of course Ludwig! Maybe Eddie would like to join in too...


 This could be great...or it could be a Greek tragedy. I'm not sure! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> This could be great...or it could be a Greek tragedy. I'm not sure! :lol:


Yeah, maybe I should post it in the "end of the world" thread. :lol:


----------



## Bettina

^I feel like there should be more women in this orgy. Otherwise it's too much of a sausage fest! Should we go back in time and revive Clara Schumann?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> ^I feel like there should be more women in this orgy. Otherwise it's too much of a sausage fest! Should we go back in time and revive Clara Schumann?


Eww, who knows what diseases she has! 

I'm all for Fanny though!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Eww, who knows what diseases she has!
> 
> I'm all for Fanny though!


Great idea! Her husband was a painter - maybe he'll agree to paint a picture of our orgy, and then we can sell copies on the TC classified board.


----------



## Blancrocher

I'm thinking of ordering the Mozart album pictured above. Can anyone comment on the performance quality?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Great idea! Her husband was a painter - maybe he'll agree to paint a picture of our orgy, and then we can sell copies on the TC classified board.


I'm sure it'll be a big seller! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Blancrocher said:


> I'm thinking of ordering the Mozart album pictured above. Can anyone comment on the performance quality?


I'm not sure I'd want to make out with Mozart. I suspect that he was into scat play, and that's just not my thing!


----------



## Klassik

Blancrocher said:


> I'm thinking of ordering the Mozart album pictured above. Can anyone comment on the performance quality?


Terrible. Don't you see how cruddy that boombox is there on the beach? That was the first thing I noticed! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm not sure I'd want to make out with Mozart. I suspect that he was into scat play, and that's just not my thing!


Yeah, but Scheiße has that eszett that you like!


----------



## hpowders

TCs most liked posters:

Two Categories:

1. Ubiquitous posters

2. Posters who monitor posting activity


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, but Scheiße has that eszett that you like!


The word is sexy, but the actual stuff is a huge turn-off!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> The word is sexy, but the actual stuff is a huge turn-off!


Ok, ok, I'm learning what you like. I'm taking notes. No scheiße. This might be difficult for a Mozart lover like myself, but I'll cope!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Ok, ok, I'm learning what you like. I'm taking notes. No scheiße. This might be difficult for a Mozart lover like myself, but I'll cope!


I'm sorry about being so picky in the bedroom! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Poll: would Bettina change her view on scat play if Ludwig offered to scheiße on her head?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Poll: would Bettina change her view on scat play if Ludwig offered to scheiße on her head?


Yes, I'm guessing so. It's not like it would make the smell any worse! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

^I just realized that my German grammar failed in that post! I think it should be "to scheißen." I apologize if I've offended any native German speakers with my mistake.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yes, I'm guessing so. It's not like it would make the smell any worse! :lol:


Maybe I should add this to my TC intro thread..."Hi, I'm Bettina. I want Beethoven to scheißen all over me." :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm sorry about being so picky in the bedroom! :lol:


Some people are prickier...err...pickier than others. That's okay, nobody does compromising like Klassik! :devil:



Bettina said:


> ^I just realized that my German grammar failed in that post! I think it should be "to scheißen." I apologize if I've offended any native German speakers with my mistake.


You're fine. I offend native English speakers with every post I make! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

My actual 2000th post is going to be SO anticlimactic compared to all these sexy thread ideas!


----------



## Bettina

Poll: would you let your favorite composer scheiße all over your naked body?


----------



## Bettina

^Arrgghh! I did it again! It should probably be scheißen, not scheiße! I'd better brush up on my German before meeting Ludwig...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> My actual 2000th post is going to be SO anticlimactic compared to all these sexy thread ideas!


True confessions from Bettina's university journal:

"...I was so nervous before my first harpsichord recital! I was about to scheißen all over my thong! Alas, I remembered the old trick of imagining the audience as if they were all wearing their underwear. In this case, my audience was Klassik. And he was really in his underwear. After that, I was able to put in the best performance of Rameau's Le Lardon (Salted Pork) ever!"


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> True confessions from Bettina's university journal:
> 
> "...I was so nervous before my first harpsichord recital! I was about to scheißen all over my thong! Alas, I remembered the old trick of imagining the audience as if they were all wearing their underwear. In this case, my audience was Klassik. And he was really in his underwear. After that, I was able to put in the best performance of Rameau's Le Lardon (Salted Pork) ever!"


Also, I played Rameau's harpsichord piece "The Rooster" (that's not an exact translation, but the real title is forbidden on TC.)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Poll: would you let your favorite composer scheiße all over your naked body?


I don't know if I have a favorite, but Mozart would be right up there. In that case, isn't this a rhetorical question? :lol:



Bettina said:


> ^Arrgghh! I did it again! It should probably be scheißen, not scheiße! I'd better brush up on my German before meeting Ludwig...


After taking 4 years of German in high school, I can say that I perfected Engleutsch! Well, some kind of Texas Engleutsch at least!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Also, I played Rameau's harpsichord piece "The Rooster" (that's not an exact translation, but the real title is forbidden on TC.)


If there was a classical composer who was my clone of sorts, it might have been Rameau! That's a Klassik piece!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I don't know if I have a favorite, but Mozart would be right up there. In that case, isn't this a rhetorical question? :lol:
> 
> After taking 4 years of German in high school, I can say that I perfected Engleutsch! Well, some kind of Texas Engleutsch at least!


Ich habe Deutsch im Universität gelernt, aber jetzt habe ich vieles* vergessen. Als ich im Universität war, ich weisste nicht, dass ich mein Deutsch benutzen werden, für meine Reise nach Beethovens haus.**

*I think this means "a lot." I almost got confused and wrote "mucho" instead.

**Translation: I learned German in college, but now I've forgotten a lot of it. When I was in college, I didn't know that I would need my German for my trip to Beethoven's house.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> I should write an erotic story about an orgy involving Bettina, Klassik, hpowders, and of course Ludwig! Maybe Eddie would like to join in too...


I'll provide the moral guidance.............. or some sort of guidance


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'll provide the moral guidance.............. or some sort of guidance


You can be the conductor if you want.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Ich habe Deutsch im Universität gelernt, aber jetzt habe ich vieles* vergessen. Als ich im Universität war, ich weisste nicht, dass ich mein Deutsch benutzen werden, für meine Reise nach Beethovens haus.**
> 
> *I think this means "a lot." I almost got confused and wrote "mucho" instead.
> 
> **Translation: I learned German in college, but now I've forgotten a lot of it. When I was in college, I didn't know that I would need my German for my trip to Beethoven's house.


You have not always had a crush on Beethoven?! I feel like this is a shocking confession! 

I have a BS (shocking, I know) and a MS. I took extra math instead of language classes (shocking again, I know!). I wish I could remember more of the German that I learned, but oh well. It's one of those "use it or lose it" type deals I guess. I had forgotten so much of the German I learned in high school just 3-4 years after I graduated when I went to Germany. I guess I knew enough to get by though. So many people know English there anyway. Anyway, I was too busy thinking about sex when I was in high school anyway. It's not like I learned all I could have anyway. Of course, the more things change, the more things stay the same, huh? :devil:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'll provide the moral guidance.............. or some sort of guidance





Bettina said:


> You can be the conductor if you want.


I feel that Eddie is more of the drunk harpsichord teacher who falls asleep standing up (ala Rossini). We'll have to keep some sirens around to keep him awake!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> You can be the conductor if you want.


With my own Baton, yea what I've always wanted!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You have not always had a crush on Beethoven?! I feel like this is a shocking confession!
> 
> I have a BS (shocking, I know) and a MS. I took extra math instead of language classes (shocking again, I know!). I wish I could remember more of the German that I learned, but oh well. It's one of those "use it or lose it" type deals I guess. I had forgotten so much of the German I learned in high school just 3-4 years after I graduated when I went to Germany. I guess I knew enough to get by though. So many people know English there anyway. Anyway, I was too busy thinking about sex when I was in high school anyway. It's not like I learned all I could have anyway. Of course, the more things change, the more things stay the same, huh? :devil:


Amazingly enough, my crush on Beethoven is a pretty recent thing. Back in high school and college, I had a totally non-classical crush: I was hugely OBSESSED with Neil Diamond! I kept on trying to find ways to meet him (that's the joy of having a crush on someone who's actually alive!!) But I never did get a chance to meet him and gradually that crush faded away.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I feel that Eddie is more of the drunk harpsichord teacher who falls asleep standing up (ala Rossini). We'll have to keep some sirens around to keep him awake!


I'm sure I'll be screaming and moaning like crazy with Ludwig; Eddie would never be able to sleep through that!! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Amazingly enough, my crush on Beethoven is a pretty recent thing. Back in high school and college, I had a totally non-classical crush: I was hugely OBSESSED with Neil Diamond! I kept on trying to find ways to meet him (that's the joy of having a crush on someone who's actually alive!!) But I never did get a chance to meet him and gradually that crush faded away.


Neil Diamond?! You're yanking my sausage, aren't you? Seriously? :lol:

I guess it's better than Dustin Diamond!


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> With my own Baton, yea what I've always wanted!


Easy there, Captain Kangaroo. You'll have to conduct with your hands! 



Bettina said:


> I'm sure I'll be screaming and moaning like crazy with Ludwig; Eddie would never be able to sleep through that!! :lol:


 That's because he'll be biting you in some non-sexy area though, right? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Neil Diamond?! You're yanking my sausage, aren't you? Seriously? :lol:
> 
> I guess it's better than Dustin Diamond!


I swear (with my hand on my you-know-what) that I'm telling the truth! I know it sounds crazy, but I was massively obsessed with Neil. I used to listen to his music for hours a day when I was a teenager, and I'd watch videos of him and read interviews...the whole works. Now I'm applying the same approach to Beethoven - he's my dead Neil substitute! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I swear (with my hand on my you-know-what) that I'm telling the truth! I know it sounds crazy, but I was massively obsessed with Neil. I used to listen to his music for hours a day when I was a teenager, and I'd watch videos of him and read interviews...the whole works. Now I'm applying the same approach to Beethoven - he's my dead Neil substitute! :lol:


So you're saying that this whole Beethoven thing might pass? :lol:

I didn't imagine you being a Neil Diamond girl. I really didn't. I can't imagine anyone being a Neil Diamond girl actually! Well, I have bushy eyebrows like Neil Diamond and a fairly similar hair cut, but my ears are way sexier!  Don't ask me to sing, but I was a middle school choirboy! True story if you can believe that! :angel:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So you're saying that this whole Beethoven thing might pass? :lol:
> 
> *I didn't imagine you being a Neil Diamond girl. * I really didn't. I can't imagine anyone being a Neil Diamond girl actually! Well, I have bushy eyebrows like Neil Diamond and a fairly similar hair cut, but my ears are way sexier!  Don't ask me to sing, but I was a middle school choirboy! True story if you can believe that! :angel:


I know, it's hard to believe that someone could switch from Neil Diamond to Beethoven! Back then, I wasn't turned on by genius (obviously! ) I was turned on by Neil's charisma and flamboyance on stage - the whole slick entertainer thing that he has going on. Gradually my tastes changed, and now I'm attracted to nutty geniuses! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I know, it's hard to believe that someone could switch from Neil Diamond to Beethoven! Back then, I wasn't turned on by genius (obviously! ) I was turned on by Neil's charisma and flamboyance on stage - the whole slick entertainer thing that he has going on. Gradually my tastes changed, and now I'm attracted to nutty geniuses! :lol:


You seem to switch between people who are quite opposite! Beethoven - lots of talent, no charisma or flamboyance (though he may have had inflamed intestines ). Neil Diamond - charisma and flamboyance, not so much talent! Where will you go next, Tchaikovsky? Billy Ray Cyrus? :lol:

I'm just shocked to learn of this whole Neil Diamond thing. Did you move to Bakersfield or something? 

Oh, and you're swearing with your hands where?! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You seem to switch between people who are quite opposite! Beethoven - lots of talent, no charisma or flamboyance (though he may have had inflamed intestines ). Neil Diamond - charisma and flamboyance, not so much talent! Where will you go next, Tchaikovsky? Billy Ray Cyrus? :lol:
> 
> I'm just shocked to learn of this whole Neil Diamond thing. Did you move to Bakersfield or something?
> 
> Oh, and you're swearing with your hands where?! :devil:


I know, it's weird how my preferences are so variable. But there's one thing that has NEVER changed - my tendency to get obsessed with men I've never met! That has been completely consistent throughout my life. I've rarely ever gotten a crush on someone that I've actually met. I prefer to idealize men from a distance and I love having fantasies (accompanied by my hands "swearing" down there... :lol


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I know, it's weird how my preferences are so variable. But there's one thing that has NEVER changed - my tendency to get obsessed with men I've never met! That has been completely consistent throughout my life. I've rarely ever gotten a crush on someone that I've actually met. I prefer to idealize men from a distance and I love having fantasies (accompanied by my hands "swearing" down there... :lol


So you're saying you're swearing to Neił Diamond down in the...well...'ł' region! :devil:

You mean you've never met Beethoven? I just saw him down at the 7-Eleven. He was counting coffee beans. I'll send him over! I guess one way to keep a crush is to have one on a man who there's no possible chance of ever meeting!  Then again, there could be some downsides to that like forever needing to...ł :lol:

Yeah, it's actually meeting and getting to know people that's a real deal breaker, isn't it? That tends to be the problem for men too!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So you're saying you're swearing to Neił Diamond down in the...well...'ł' region! :devil:
> 
> You mean you've never met Beethoven? I just saw him down at the 7-Eleven. He was counting coffee beans. I'll send him over! I guess one way to keep a crush is to have one on a man who there's no possible chance of ever meeting!  *Then again, there could be some downsides to that like forever needing to...ł* :lol:
> 
> Yeah, it's actually meeting and getting to know people that's a real deal breaker, isn't it? That tends to be the problem for men too!


Yeah, that was a downside back when I used to listen to Neil's music on cassette tapes. Every half hour or so, I would have to stop what I was doing in order to turn over the tape to the other side... unfortunately my cassette tapes ended up getting all sticky!! :lol: (NOT stinky - I always remembered to douche regularly so that I'd smell good in case I ever met Neil!)


----------



## Bettina

It's amazing how STI posts don't count toward the total number of posts. The incredible thing is, I've just spilled my whole sexual history onto TC, and I STILL haven't reached my 2000th post! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It's amazing how STI posts don't count toward the total number of posts. The incredible thing is, I've just spilled my whole sexual history onto TC, and I STILL haven't reached my 2000th post! :lol:


I know, we'd both have more posts than Pugg! Well, then again, the mods would delete most of them! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Speaking of Pugg and the mods, I have a complaint to file with the mods. I feel that the picture in Pugg's avatar suggests that Ms. Fleming is about to flash us her boobs. It's a small picture, maybe I'm way off base about that. Nevertheless, either show us what we want or stop suggesting it! 

Am I wrong to be upset about this? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Speaking of Pugg and the mods, I have a complaint to file with the mods. I feel that the picture in Pugg's avatar suggests that Ms. Fleming is about to flash us her boobs. It's a small picture, maybe I'm way off base about that. Nevertheless, either show us what we want or stop suggesting it!
> 
> Am I wrong to be upset about this? :lol:


I know! That Renee is such a tease.*

*I'm not sure if there should be an accent mark in there, but I'm too lazy to look it up and check.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I know! That Renee is such a tease.*
> 
> *I'm not sure if there should be an accent mark in there, but I'm too lazy to look it up and check.


I say the number of diacritics is dependent on the size of the, well, you know where I'm going with this!

I figure Pugg does not read STI. If he did, he'd be so mad that he'd be Beet-hoven red! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

The big moment has arrived: I've just hit 2000 posts! I'm proud to report that my 2000th post was on Wagner, as previously suggested by hpowders. I did indeed do my homework in preparation for this epic post. In the course of my "pre-post" research, I discovered that Wagner's wife collected his eyebrow hairs. I dutifully reported my discovery in post 14 of this thread: 
http://www.talkclassical.com/49883-witnessing-positive-reactions-classical.html#post1262708


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> The big moment has arrived: I've just hit 2000 posts! I'm proud to report that my 2000th post was on Wagner, as previously suggested by hpowders. I did indeed do my homework in preparation for this epic post. In the course of my "pre-post" research, I discovered that Wagner's wife collected his eyebrow hairs. I dutifully reported my discovery in post 14 of this thread:
> http://www.talkclassical.com/49883-witnessing-positive-reactions-classical.html#post1262708


No wonder why Wagner was so strange! Strangeness was all around him! 

If you married Beethoven, would you collect eyebrow hairs? Armpit hairs? Pubic area hairs?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> No wonder why Wagner was so strange! Strangeness was all around him!
> 
> If you married Beethoven, would you collect eyebrow hairs? Armpit hairs? Pubic area hairs?


For Beethoven, I would probably collect the wild hairs on his head! Of course, for Neil Diamond it would have to be eyebrow hairs, because he's famous for his bushy eyebrows. The only similarity between Diamond and Wagner! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Most polar composer? Which composer lived closest to the North or South pole?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> For Beethoven, I would probably collect the wild hairs on his head! Of course, for Neil Diamond it would have to be eyebrow hairs, because he's famous for his bushy eyebrows. The only similarity between Diamond and Wagner! :lol:


Sadly (I think), I must put Klassik on that list with Neil Diamond and Richard Wagner! Wow, what a list!  Not only do I have bushy eyebrows, I also have long eyelashes! Women are jealous sometimes! What women probably aren't jealous of are the long hairs that grow around my areolae (areolas?). :lol: I could go into hairier subjects, but that's enough for now I think!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Most polar composer? Which composer lived closest to the North or South pole?


Santa...aka Leif Segerstam. He looks like a polar bear if nothing else. :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Sadly (I think), I must put Klassik on that list with Neil Diamond and Richard Wagner! Wow, what a list!  Not only do I have bushy eyebrows, I also have long eyelashes! Women are jealous sometimes! What women probably aren't jealous of are the long hairs that grow around my areolae (areolas?). :lol: I could go into hairier subjects, but that's enough for now I think!


You should be proud of your bushy eyebrows (as well as the bushy areas further down). Body hair is sexy on a man! Of course it's not nearly as sexy on a woman, which means that I need to keep on shaving and waxing. I have to be ready just in case Neil or Ludwig magically shows up at my door!*

*It would truly be a miracle if a resurrected Ludwig were to show up at my door. My first thought would be "how did he rise from the dead?" My second thought would be "did I remember to get my bush waxed?" :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You should be proud of your bushy eyebrows (as well as the bushy areas further down). Body hair is sexy on a man! Of course it's not nearly as sexy on a woman, which means that I need to keep on shaving and waxing. I have to be ready just in case Neil or Ludwig magically shows up at my door!*
> 
> *It would truly be a miracle if a resurrected Ludwig were to show up at my door. My first thought would be "how did he rise from the dead?" My second thought would be "did I remember to get my bush waxed?" :lol:


I'm not really that hairy, but it grows long and thick (like other things :devil where it does grow. Like I said, I could go into more detail, but I'll spare STI! I do shave my face and neck though. No Wagneresque neck beards here! I do shave the little beards that grow on my earlobes too! :lol:

You know you'd jump right on Ludwig if you ever saw him without asking any questions first! It might be an impostor, but you'd know by the smell!  But, yes, I'm sure Neil and Ludwig would want you to keep up on your shaving. Actually, I have no idea what they'd want, but Klassik approves of the body hair removal!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'm not really that hairy, but it grows long and thick (like other things :devil where it does grow. Like I said, I could go into more detail, but I'll spare STI! I do shave my face and neck though. No Wagneresque neck boards here! I do shave the little beards that grow on my earlobes too! :lol:
> 
> *You know you'd jump right on Ludwig if you ever saw him without asking any questions first! It might be an impostor, but you'd know by the smell!*  But, yes, I'm sure Neil and Ludwig would want you to keep up on your shaving. Actually, I have no idea what they'd want, but Klassik approves of the body hair removal!


I think I would have to quiz Ludwig first, to make sure that it was really him. I'd probably make him sit at my piano and improvise for a while. The quality of the improvisation would be a dead (so to speak) giveaway.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think I would have to quiz Ludwig first, to make sure that it was really him. I'd probably make him sit at my piano and improvise for a while. The quality of the improvisation would be a dead (so to speak) giveaway.


Poor Ludwig. He's coming all the way from the 19th century to visit you and you'll doubt his existence! He won't like that. He might even get aggressive!  Plus, Beethoven seems like he might have a compromised immune system. Do you want him touching the keys that have all those bodily fluids on them (snot, vomit, and whatever my 11th finger might have left behind)? :devil:

Oh, and I meant neck beards in my last post. Not neck boards.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Poor Ludwig. He's coming all the way from the 19th century to visit you and you'll doubt his existence! He won't like that. He might even get aggressive!  Plus, Beethoven seems like he might have a compromised immune system. Do you want him touching the keys that have all those bodily fluids on them (snot, vomit, and whatever my 11th finger might have left behind)? :devil:
> 
> Oh, and I meant neck beards in my last post. Not neck boards.


I wouldn't tell him that I doubted his existence. I would never say such a thing openly...I'm much too clever and smooth for that!  I would disinfect the keys with bleach, and then I would coquettishly say in broken German, "Mein Liebchen, ich möchte ein Improvisation hören, es macht mir geil!"*

*This is a grammatically fractured attempt to say "my darling, I would love to hear you improvise, it would make me horny!"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The most unifying composers on TC, only Kidding- don't think any of them are.....


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I wouldn't tell him that I doubted his existence. I would never say such a thing openly...I'm much too clever and smooth for that!  I would disinfect the keys with bleach, and then I would coquettishly say in broken German, "Mein Liebchen, ich möchte ein Improvisation hören, es macht mir geil!"*
> 
> *This is a grammatically fractured attempt to say "my darling, *I would love to hear you improvise, it would make me horny!"*


Oh, you don't want to do that. Beethoven would likely throw a saucer at you! I don't think Beethoven was very erotic. You'd have to fool him into the act somehow. That's probably an STI itself. How would you fool Beethoven into having sex with you? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The most unifying composers on TC, only Kidding- don't think any of them are.....


What about TC's unified hatred of Milton Babbitt? Antonio Salieri? Ah, hell, there's probably at least one TCer who likes those guys. Oh, wait, I'm the doofus who likes Salieri!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The most spaced out composer


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Oh, you don't want to do that. Beethoven would likely throw a saucer at you! I don't think Beethoven was very erotic. You'd have to fool him into the act somehow. That's probably an STI itself. How would you fool Beethoven into having sex with you? :lol:


Hmm...good question. Maybe I'll tell him that my p**** has magical powers that can help him be even more productive! 64 piano sonatas instead of 32!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Hmm...good question. Maybe I'll tell him that my p**** has magical powers that can help him be even more productive! 64 piano sonatas instead of 32!


You've been hanging around the Donald haven't you............


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The most spaced out composer


Philip Glass!



Bettina said:


> Hmm...good question. Maybe I'll tell him that *my p**** has magical powers* that can help him be even more productive! 64 piano sonatas instead of 32!


Well, that probably wouldn't be a lie! :devil: Just show him what it does every month! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Philip Glass!
> 
> Well, that probably wouldn't be a lie! :devil: Just show him what it does every month! :lol:


Yes, I'll show him my stained granny panties! That should do the trick. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, I'll show him my stained granny panties! That should do the trick. :lol:


It'll do something, but I'm not sure what! :lol: Beethoven may not be Mozart, but I have a feeling he'd like a little scheiße!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It'll do something, but I'm not sure what! :lol: Beethoven may not be Mozart, but I have a feeling he'd like a little scheiße!


I guess I'd better eat some Taco Bell beforehand, so that I'm ready to put on a show... :lol:


----------



## Art Rock

Which composers did you like at first, then hated, then liked again, and now feel indifferent about?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I guess I'd better eat some Taco Bell beforehand, so that I'm ready to put on a show... :lol:


You might need to in order to cover up Beethoven's own smells! Besides, with his IBD, good bowel movements might really be impressive to him! You can impress each other with your own movements! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You might need to in order to cover up Beethoven's own smells! Besides, with his IBD, good bowel movements might really be impressive to him! You can impress each other with your own movements! :lol:


That gives a whole new meaning to the polls about "favorite movements."


----------



## Klassik

Art Rock said:


> Which composers did you like at first, then hated, then liked again, and now feel indifferent about?


That sounds like my experience listening through one Mahler symphony!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> That sounds like my experience listening through one Mahler symphony!


I'm still waiting to experience the "like" part of listening to a Mahler symphony.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That gives a whole new meaning to the polls about "favorite movements."


Yeah, but we can objectively rate those movements! I always consult the Bristol Stool Chart after a composition (or is that a performance?):


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, but we can objectively rate those movements! I always consult the Bristol Stool Chart after a composition (or is that a performance?):


I wonder where Beethoven's movements would fall on this chart? Did his IBS make him constipated, or did he have diarrhea? Or maybe it went back and forth, like the experience of listening to a Mahler symphony!


----------



## Bettina

By the way, good question about whether it's a composition or a performance. I guess it's both, in the grand tradition of the composer-performers such as Liszt and Rachmaninoff!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> By the way, good question about whether it's a composition or a performance. I guess it's both, in the grand tradition of the composer-performers such as Liszt and Rachmaninoff!


Sounds like we might have a case of Lisztomania here..... be careful!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Philip Glass!
> 
> Well, that probably wouldn't be a lie! :devil: Just show him what it does every month! :lol:


I'm re-quoting this because I just realized how awesome it looks. The original posts didn't show up, just your replies. As a result, your response looks totally surreal. It consists of a random exclamation of "Philip Glass" followed by "show him what it does every month." :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I wonder where Beethoven's movements would fall on this chart? Did his IBS make him constipated, or did he have diarrhea? Or maybe it went back and forth, like the experience of listening to a Mahler symphony!


Probably a mix of Types 1, 2, and 7. I feel that 2 describes Mahler well: sausage-shaped but lumpy. :lol:

Type 6 would probably describe a mediocre composer of bon-bons! 



Bettina said:


> By the way, good question about whether it's a composition or a performance. I guess it's both, in the grand tradition of the composer-performers such as Liszt and Rachmaninoff!


Clearly then pooping requires many different skills!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm re-quoting this because I just realized how awesome it looks. The original posts didn't show up, just your replies. As a result, your response looks totally surreal. It consists of a random exclamation of "Philip Glass" followed by "show him what it does every month." :lol:


:lol:

Except with Glass, it happens each time I listen to him!


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sounds like we might have a case of Lisztomania here..... be careful!


Yes, I do have Lisztomania! My top four crushes are:

1. Beethoven
2. Liszt
3. Neil Diamond
4. Bernstein

Three dead, one alive. :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> :lol:
> 
> Except with Glass, it happens each time I listen to him!


Wow, that's seriously impressive! You have man-periods when you listen to Glass!?!!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, I do have Lisztomania! My top four crushes are:
> 
> 1. Beethoven
> 2. Liszt
> 3. Neil Diamond
> 4. Bernstein
> 
> Three dead, one alive. :lol:


That we know about! I'm sure there are more deep, hidden secrets! I'm surprised we got the Neil Diamond one to be honest! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Wow, that's seriously impressive! You have man-periods when you listen to Glass!?!!


Bleeding, hot flashes, mood swings (from bad to worse). Yeah. That Glass guy is mighty powerful!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> That we know about! I'm sure there are more deep, hidden secrets! I'm surprised we got the Neil Diamond one to be honest! :lol:


You'll just have to keep waiting until I'm in another confessional mood...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You'll just have to keep waiting until I'm in another confessional mood...


That's fine. I'll need time to digest this news! I think it's going to end up as a Type 1 when I'm done digesting it! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Bettina said:


> Yes, I do have Lisztomania! My top four crushes are:
> 
> 1. Beethoven
> 2. Liszt
> 3. Neil Diamond
> 4. Bernstein
> 
> Three dead, one alive. :lol:


Also: three straight, one bi/gay. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Also: three straight, one bi/gay. :lol:


We're really not sure what Beethoven was. He liked women at one point, but he may have turned asexual after that!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> We're really not sure what Beethoven was. He liked women at one point, but he may have turned asexual after that!


I'm sure that I could turn him on again. First, though, I have to figure out how to raise him from the dead!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm sure that I could turn him on again. First, though, I have to figure out how to raise him from the dead!


I feel like I should die with an erection. You know, just to make sure there's no doubt that historians note that I'm not asexual. Of course, if they ever read TC, they'll know that I'm not! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

I feel like I'm the only one spilling the beans here! C'mon, dudes, 'fess up and tell us your deepest, darkest fantasies! It couldn't be worse than the stuff I've said about Beethoven scheißing on my naked body.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I feel like I should die with an erection. You know, just to make sure there's no doubt that historians note that I'm not asexual. Of course, if they ever read TC, they'll know that I'm not! :devil:


Maybe that's why dead men are called stiffs! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I feel like I should die with an erection. You know, just to make sure there's no doubt that historians note that I'm not asexual. Of course, if they ever read TC, they'll know that I'm not! :devil:


By the way, it's weird how we both posted "I feel like" at the same time. It's like we read each others' minds! Is there some telepathy going on here in STI??


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Maybe that's why dead men are called stiffs! :lol:


:lol:



Bettina said:


> I feel like I'm the only one spilling the beans here! C'mon, dudes, 'fess up and tell us your deepest, darkest fantasies! *It couldn't be worse than the stuff I've said about Beethoven scheißing on my naked body.*


You're right about that! 

I don't know, I've never had any crushes on dead people or living people you would know. I could tell you comedic stories from Klassik's dates or attempts to get dates, but that's about all I have for you! It's not like I cover up much as you know!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> By the way, it's weird how we both posted "I feel like" at the same time. It's like we read each others' minds! Is there some telepathy going on here in STI??


Well, you know what I was feeling. You read the rest of my post! :lol: I'm not sure what you're feeling, but I can take a guess or two! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Well, you know what I was feeling. You read the rest of my post! :lol: I'm not sure what you're feeling, but I can take a guess or two! :devil:


Yeah, I guess we're both typing with one hand! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> :lol:
> 
> You're right about that!
> 
> I don't know, *I've never had any crushes on dead people* or living people you would know. I could tell you comedic stories from Klassik's dates or attempts to get dates, but that's about all I have for you! It's not like I cover up much as you know!


You're missing out on all the fun! Why limit yourself to people who are alive? That's such a small fraction of all the people who have ever lived. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I guess we're both typing with one hand! :lol:


Very glad we are not sharing keyboards...............


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I guess we're both typing with one hand! :lol:


I'm sure the rest of STI is loving this!  Anyone for a High 5? :lol:



Bettina said:


> You're missing out on all the fun! Why limit yourself to people who are alive? That's such a small fraction of all the people who have ever lived. :lol:


I'm horny enough as it is! You're adding more people to my list?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> I'm sure the rest of STI is loving this!  Anyone for a High 5? :lol:
> 
> I'm horny enough as it is! You're adding more people to my list?


We don't call it STI for nothing...................


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'm sure the rest of STI is loving this!  Anyone for a High 5? :lol:


Let's ask the other members if they're enjoying this. Poll: are you turned on by this thread? Choose one of the following options:

1. Yes, the thought of Bettina ************ lights my fire!
2. Yes, the thought of Klassik ************ lights my fire!
3. I'm disgusted by all this dirty talk
4. What's ************?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Let's ask the other members if they're enjoying this. Poll: are you turned on by this thread? Choose one of the following options:
> 
> 1. Yes, the thought of Bettina ************ lights my fire!
> 2. Yes, the thought of Klassik ************ lights my fire!
> 3. I'm disgusted by all this dirty talk
> 4. What's ************?


I'm just worried my Computer might catch something...........


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm just worried my Computer might catch something...........


I promise I'm clean. I've been staying away from Schubert and Schumann!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Let's ask the other members if they're enjoying this. Poll: are you turned on by this thread? Choose one of the following options:
> 
> 1. Yes, the thought of Bettina ************ lights my fire!
> 2. Yes, the thought of Klassik ************ lights my fire!
> 3. I'm disgusted by all this dirty talk
> 4. What's ************?





EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm just worried my Computer might catch something...........


This should be a pole..err..poll! I'm not sure how many votes 2 is going to get, but we know a certain member whose handle starts with 'h' is lying if he votes for 4! 

Well, I have to shower and go to sleep so I can go to work tomorrow. After tonight's STI discussion, I better use the heavy duty soap!  That's something Beethoven would not know about! Happy dreaming if thoughts about lathering myself up get you going! :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Think I might still start offering a STI exclusive range of prophylactic software protections, at a very high exorbitant prices with discounts for those who like modern classical music............


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Think I might still start offering a STI exclusive range of prophylactic software protections, at a very high exorbitant prices with discounts for those who like modern classical music............


I guess I'll have to pay the full price. I'm not a fan of modern classical music. I only like the dead guys.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> This should be a pole..err..poll! I'm not sure how many votes 2 is going to get, but we know a certain member whose handle starts with 'h' is lying if he votes for 4!
> 
> Well, I have to shower and go to sleep so I can go to work tomorrow. After tonight's STI discussion, I better use the heavy duty soap!  That's something Beethoven would not know about! Happy dreaming if thoughts about lathering myself up get you going! :devil:


Have fun in the shower!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> I guess I'll have to pay the full price. I'm not a fan of modern classical music. I only like the dead guys.


Selected discounts are possible with the right incentives, nudge nudge wink wink, so no more..............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Unpleasant Singers with Great voices


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What music did your grandpa like ?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Would you rather be a composer or a Dictator?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The most Equatorial Composer


----------



## hpowders

Posting masterpieces and the women who love them.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Did Michael Jackson enjoy your voice?


Only when he was high on Crack.


----------



## Jacred

Wrap your ears around this one??

Sounds painful. And likely ineffective anyway, as I am not a rabbit.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Would you rather be a composer or a Dictator?


I'd rather be Eddie Murphy and the women who love him.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The big moment has arrived: I've just hit 2000 posts! I'm proud to report that my 2000th post was on Wagner, as previously suggested by hpowders. I did indeed do my homework in preparation for this epic post. In the course of my "pre-post" research, I discovered that Wagner's wife collected his eyebrow hairs. I dutifully reported my discovery in post 14 of this thread:
> http://www.talkclassical.com/49883-witnessing-positive-reactions-classical.html#post1262708


Good job! I'm glad the transition went so smoothly. Did any of the Wagner elites insist that you leave? The TC Wagner experience is not a complete one unless that happens.


----------



## hpowders

Can't seem to find any Bruckner symphony sets conducted by Trevor Pinnock. Out of print?


----------



## hpowders

Musical regrets:

I never sang for my father!!!*

*Also I never sang for my grandparents, three great aunts, 6 first cousins and my Uncle Louie.
As a matter of fact, we are all estranged.


----------



## hpowders

Which classical composers always seemed to get a perfect fit when they went to the shoe store?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm just worried my Computer might catch something...........


I thought it already had its virus shots?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> We don't call it STI for nothing...................


Thankfully, nobody else comes here to read any of it.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I thought it already had its virus shots?


I don't think they have shots for those kind of viruses! :devil:

But don't worry. Bettina's piano keys may speak otherwise, but I'm clean! :angel:



hpowders said:


> Which classical composers always seemed to get a perfect fit when they went to the shoe store?


Rossini, of course. Don't you think his shoes are to die for?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I don't think they have shots for those kind of viruses! :devil:
> 
> But don't worry. Bettina's piano keys may speak otherwise, but I'm clean! :angel:
> 
> Rossini, of course. Don't you think his shoes are to die for?
> 
> View attachment 95546


Yes. I would die in those shoes. My perfect fit seems to be New Balance 11.5, EEEE and Christmas is right around the corner...


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yes. I would die in those shoes. My perfect fit seems to be New Balance 11.5, 4EEEE.....and Christmas is right around the corner...


Our shoe collections are probably similar then. I'm not letting you borrow my shoes though. Sorry. Maybe Rossini will be more friendly in that regard.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Thankfully, nobody else comes here to read any of it.


Just what TC needs more of - Mod free zones....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite songs using electric Triangles and Wah Wah pedals
Triangle thru a wah wah pedalTriangle thru a wah wah pedalTriangle thru a wah wah pedal

Note Wah wah pedal do tend to get repeative..............


----------



## Klassik

Poll: How should Rossini further accessorize himself?









Man purse or European carry-all?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Do You Like Potable Water?


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Poll: Do You Like Potable Water?*


*Yeah, I likes it when I kin move it aroun'.*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Roughly...how many operas have been written for castrati aliens?*


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Poll: Do You Like Potable Water?


No. There's nothing like some sewer water to build up my immune system!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

I like portable water


----------



## Klassik

What's the most magical thing you can do with a broom?

I think Bettina can give us a better answer than the rest of us can provide! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> What's the most magical thing you can do with a broom?
> 
> I think Bettina can give us a better answer than the rest of us can provide! :devil:


How long is the Handel?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> What's the most magical thing you can do with a broom?
> 
> I think Bettina can give us a better answer than the rest of us can provide! :devil:


Channeling my inner witch, I could hop on a broom and ride it back to 19th-century Vienna...

Or were you looking for a different type of magic, involving the insertion of a broom handle?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> How long is the Handel?


Long. Real long. Long enough for a witch to put it between her legs and...:devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Or were you looking for a different type of magic, involving the insertion of a broom handle?


You know me well!


----------



## hpowders

Porta-mento or Porta-Potty?

List your favorites.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You know me well!


Gee. What gave it away?


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Thread Idea: Is the baton at the top of each TC page causing you to have impure thoughts? 

I feel like this could explain a lot that goes on here!


----------



## hpowders

Composers who don't get much ______. Fill in the blank.


----------



## hpowders

Posters who don't get much _____. Fill in the blank.


----------



## Klassik

Composers who don't get much action. Bruckner.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Posters who don't get much _____. Fill in the blank.


Admit it…ADMIT IT!!! The word you're looking for is…*NOOKIE!*


----------



## Klassik

Posters who don't get much action. Not Klassik


----------



## hpowders

Three-word answers to four-word questions.

I will start.

Why am I pithy? I don't know.


----------



## Klassik

Why is hpowders pithy? Cranky old man. 

:lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

*Brahms: "Smell My Beard!!"*


----------



## millionrainbows

Perhaps we should remind all of these broomstick fetishists that this is "Stupid Thread Ideas *IN THE CONTEXT OF A CLASSICAL MUSIC FORUM."*


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> Perhaps we should remind all of these broomstick fetishists that this is "Stupid Thread Ideas *IN THE CONTEXT OF A CLASSICAL MUSIC FORUM."*


We were talking about Dukas' The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Hence the brooms.


----------



## hpowders

Using wax cylinders, hpowders? Switched to tapes!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> We were talking about Dukas' The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Hence the brooms.


Musical brooms are all the rage. Lost pennies too.


----------



## hpowders

Announcement. We are auditioning bassoonists, cartoonists and bass clarinetists and any other "ists" for original theme music 3-5 minutes in length, to accompany "four word questions/three word answers."


----------



## hpowders

Who regulates TC site? The head regulator.


----------



## hpowders

Richard Wagner and Bruckner? So damn polarizing!


----------



## Dr Johnson

Cheech and Chong's short score.


----------



## Art Rock

We need a concerto for broom and orchestra.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Why is hpowders pithy? *Cranky old man. *
> 
> :lol:


*Short attention span.* (fixed).


----------



## hpowders

Which posters are the best take-charge mod imitators?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Is this your T-shirt?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Doctors that don't get much love on TC...


----------



## Dr Johnson

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Doctors that don't get much love on TC...


 .


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

I was actually not referring to you Dr Johnson! Haha  I left out the "Con"


----------



## Klassik

Witch doctor told me? Ooh eee ooo.


----------



## Klassik

Who likes short shorts?

I like short shorts! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Who likes short shorts?
> 
> I like short shorts! :devil:


I like to wear short skirts. That way, whenever I'm alone for a moment, I have easy access to my...umm..._unmentionable _area!


----------



## Vaneyes

TC's most-channeled composers. Round 7.


----------



## Vaneyes

Beethoven annoy me, but still good. Discuss.


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> I like to wear short skirts. That way, whenever I'm alone for a moment, I have easy access to my...umm..._unmentionable _area!


----------



## Bettina

Vaneyes said:


> Beethoven annoy me, but still good. Discuss.


Beethoven annoys me too, because he died before I had the chance to meet him!  :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just what TC needs more of - Mod free zones....


*"Testing, testing."*


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> Who likes short shorts?
> 
> I like short shorts! :devil:


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> Beethoven annoys me too, because he died before I had the chance to meet him!  :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I like to wear short skirts. That way, whenever I'm alone for a moment, I have easy access to my...umm..._unmentionable _area!


Ah, yes, the easy access hole! I'm a fan of those!


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


>


There would be a naked man on top of Bettina's harpsichord if she ever got one.

Of course, that man would be ole Klassik! :devil:

I'm sure Bettina is out harpsichord shopping right now! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


>


Hey, that's me!

Ok, no it's not. I wouldn't have any pants on! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> There would be a naked man on top of Bettina's harpsichord if she ever got one.
> 
> Of course, that man would be ole Klassik! :devil:
> 
> I'm sure Bettina is out harpsichord shopping right now! :lol:


Thanks for offering to decorate my harpsichord! However, if I ever do get a harpsichord, I want to preserve its virginity. After all, the harpsichord is a close cousin of the Virginal instrument!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Thanks for offering to decorate my harpsichord! However, if I ever do get a harpsichord, I want to preserve its virginity. After all, the harpsichord is a close cousin of the Virginal instrument!


I'll be careful, I promise! I'll just perform cunnilingus on the harpsichord. It'll still be a technical virginal!

:lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'll be careful, I promise! I'll just perform cunnilingus on the harpsichord. It'll still be a technical virginal!
> 
> :lol:


That might be exhausting! You'd have to lick each separate key. Well, at least a harpsichord only has about 60 keys, instead of 88!*

*Wouldn't it be funny if my harpsichord had exactly 69 keys? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Why are all of the 3-word stories about sex??  :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That might be exhausting! You'd have to lick each separate key. Well, at least a harpsichord only has about 60 keys, instead of 88!*
> 
> *Wouldn't it be funny if my harpsichord had exactly 69 keys? :lol:


Good point. I'll stick to women then! 



Bettina said:


> Why are all of the 3-word stories about sex??  :lol:


It probably wasn't before we got to that thread!


----------



## Klassik

"I dream of being Beethoven and Tchaikovsky and Robert Frost. That's how much I think I can do musically." - Neil Diamond, 1976

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/the-importance-of-being-neil-diamond-19760923

For Bettina's sake, I hope Neil does not still want to be Tchaikovsky! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> "I dream of being Beethoven and Tchaikovsky and Robert Frost. That's how much I think I can do musically." - Neil Diamond, 1976
> 
> http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/the-importance-of-being-neil-diamond-19760923
> 
> For Bettina's sake, I hope Neil does not still want to be Tchaikovsky! :lol:


Yeah, things sure would be awkward if Neil turned into Tchaikovsky. He would want to use the other entrance (actually, exit!) :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> Yeah, things sure would be awkward if Neil turned into Tchaikovsky. He would want to use the other entrance (actually, exit!) :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, things sure would be awkward if Neil turned into Tchaikovsky. He would want to use the other entrance (actually, exit!) :lol:


Tchaikovsky didn't even ask his wife to do that! Or maybe he did, but she didn't understand? I wouldn't blame her for keeping her exit sealed!


----------



## Bettina

If Neil wants to use the back door, then I'm not taking off my pants! I'll be "Forever in Blue Jeans." :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> Why are all of the 3-word stories about sex??  :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> If Neil wants to use the back door, then I'm not taking off my pants! I'll be "Forever in Blue Jeans." :lol:


I'm guessing You've Never Been That Way Before? :lol: I don't blame you at all!

True story: I mentioned Neil Diamond to one of my co-workers today. He's a 1970s rock fan. He got so excited! He whipped out a copy of The Jazz Singer and said he'd bring his CDs tomorrow for me to listen to (I didn't ask him to). :lol: I didn't ask him if he wants to sleep with Neil though. I don't think he's that much of a fan!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'm guessing You've Never Been That Way Before? :lol: I don't blame you at all!
> 
> True story: I mentioned Neil Diamond to one of my co-workers today. He's a 1970s rock fan. He got so excited! He whipped out a copy of The Jazz Singer and said he'd bring his CDs tomorrow for me to listen to (I didn't ask him to). :lol: I didn't ask him if he wants to sleep with Neil though. I don't think he's that much of a fan!


I've never been that way before, but I probably would do it if Ludwig asked me. Not for Neil, though! My Scheißehole is reserved for geniuses. :angel:

That's great news about your co-worker and the Neil Diamond CDs! I'm glad that you'll be getting a crash course on Neil's music. I hope you like it!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've never been that way before, but I probably would do it if Ludwig asked me. Not for Neil, though! My Scheißehole is reserved for geniuses. :angel:
> 
> That's great news about your co-worker and the Neil Diamond CDs! I'm glad that you'll be getting a crash course on Neil's music. I hope you like it!


You might have to do it for Beethoven just to feel what Inflamed Bowel Disease feels like? :lol:

I brought this co-worker a CD of Beethoven's 6th Symphony for his birthday. It's a nice recording by Mark Ermler and the Royal Philharmonic. Now I am getting to listen to his Neil Diamond CDs. Am I getting ripped off here?


----------



## Scopitone

Which Broadway Shows Would Make Good American Sign Language Operas?


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> Which Broadway Shows Would Make Good American Sign Language Operas?


It seems like that would be like a ballet! Finally an opera that might interest me!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You might have to do it for Beethoven just to feel what Inflamed Bowel Disease feels like? :lol:
> 
> I brought this co-worker a CD of Beethoven's 6th Symphony for his birthday. It's a nice recording by Mark Ermler and the Royal Philharmonic. Now I am getting to listen to his Neil Diamond CDs. Am I getting ripped off here?


No, I think that Neil and Beethoven are about equal, in their own (very!) different ways. Beethoven is a great composer, Neil is a great singer and entertainer.

However, they do not have equal access to my Scheißehole!! Beethoven's compositional genius gives him the edge here.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No, I think that Neil and Beethoven are about equal, in their own (very!) different ways. Beethoven is a great composer, Neil is a great singer and entertainer.
> 
> However, they do not have equal access to my Scheißehole!! Beethoven's compositional genius gives him the edge here.


What about Mozart, would he have access to your Scheißehole? 

Ok, I'll give Mr. Diamond a chance. You gave Bruckner a chance after all, I suppose it's the least I can do. 

I can't believe I'm doing this though! :angel:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> What about Mozart, would he have access to your Scheißehole?
> 
> Ok, I'll give Mr. Diamond a chance. You gave Bruckner a chance after all, I suppose it's the least I can do.
> 
> I can't believe I'm doing this though! :angel:


Yes, I'd grant him access too. My rule is: if I decide to give a composer 100 points in the ranking thread, then he has the right to enter my Scheißehole. So far I've given 100 points to Beethoven (of course!!), Bach, Mozart and Haydn. So if any of those four come back from the dead, I'll grab my lube and roll over!*

*I only need lube for the back door; my front door is self-lubricating (as everyone on TC knows by now! :lol


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, I'd grant him access too. My rule is: if I decide to give a composer 100 points in the ranking thread, then he has the right to enter my Scheißehole. So far I've given 100 points to Beethoven (of course!!), Bach, Mozart and Haydn. So if any of those four come back from the dead, I'll grab my lube and roll over!*
> 
> *I only need lube for the back door; my front door is self-lubricating (as everyone on TC knows by now! :lol


As much as I love those composers, I wouldn't let any of them near my backdoor!  I can't really see Bach going for that, but who knows about Haydn and Mozart. Then again, maybe there's a kinky side to Bach! :lol:

As for your front door, :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Oh, I forgot to mention, I would also let Bernstein enter my backdoor. Not because of his compositions (West Side Story is good, but not good enough to open up my Scheißehole:lol. He would gain entry because of his brilliance as a conductor and lecturer.

I'd probably let Liszt do it too, even though I only gave him 98 points in the ranking thread!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Oh, I forgot to mention, I would also let Bernstein enter my backdoor. Not because of his compositions (West Side Story is good, but not good enough to open up my Scheißehole:lol. He would gain entry because of his brilliance as a conductor and lecturer.
> 
> I'd probably let Liszt do it too, even though I only gave him 98 points in the ranking thread!


If you let Bernstein in your Scheißehole, he might compose the South Side Story! :lol:

Anyway, when I listen to Neil Diamond, I'll think about your front door and mini-skirts and not your Scheißehole! 

"♫Come and knock on our door..."


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

TC's Most Hated Composers - Round 433


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> TC's Most Hated Composers - Round 433


I don't think it would take that long to find out that Cage is the most hated com-_poser_!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> I don't think it would take that long to find out that Cage is the most hated com-_poser_!


Nasty Nasty Nasty and repeat for 639 years........


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Music for half way to the end of the world


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Music for half way to the end of the world


Bon Jovi? Only if your Living on a Prayer though.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> If you let Bernstein in your Scheißehole, he might compose the South Side Story! :lol:
> 
> *Anyway, when I listen to Neil Diamond, I'll think about your front door and mini-skirts and not your Scheißehole! *
> 
> "♫Come and knock on our door..."


You can think about it if you want. Thoughts are allowed, but entry is forbidden (except for a tiny group of favorite composers!)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You can think about it if you want. Thoughts are allowed, but entry is forbidden (except for a tiny group of favorite composers!)


 Even if I write a great song about your front door?


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Thread Idea: Would you let Schoenberg go atonal on you?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Even if I write a great song about your front door?


Send me the song and we'll see!  The competition is stiff (so to speak) - you're up against Ludwig! Of course, the fact that you're alive might give you an advantage. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Will knock, knock, knocking on heavens door do it?


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Will knock, knock, knocking on heavens door do it?


I'm not sure if I'd necessarily call it heaven! I guess it depends on how thoroughly I've wiped and washed the area... :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Stupid Thread Idea: Would you let Schoenberg go atonal on you?


This is brilliant! No, I would not let Schoenberg in through the back door (probably not the front either). Melodies are the key to my gates!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Send me the song and we'll see! The competition is stiff (so to speak) - you're up against Ludwig! Of course, the fact that you're alive might give you an advantage.


I can beat this Ludwig guy. I can't remember him writing any songs about your front door! 

I was thinking that you'd roll out the welcome mat for me at your front door, but then I realized that you shaved it! 



Bettina said:


> I'm not sure if I'd necessarily call it heaven! I guess it depends on how thoroughly I've wiped and washed the area...


 I guess you're a Summer's Eve away from heaven then!



Bettina said:


> This is brilliant! No, I would not let Schoenberg in through the back door (probably not the front either). Melodies are the key to my gates!


Careful with that Schoenberg. Get some deadbolts for your doors (hehe). He's a serialist! 

But, anyway, the best melodies come after one is inside the gates! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> *I can beat this Ludwig guy. I can't remember him writing any songs about your front door! *


Well, Beethoven did write his 5th symphony about fate knocking at the door. Maybe he was fantasizing about knocking at my door (though I hadn't been born yet!) :lol:

I promise to clean both doors thoroughly before you come over, if I decide to grant you access!


----------



## Bettina

By the way, when I click on "new threads," I see "The Jazz Hole" at the top of the page. Which hole is that, front or back?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^Now your just teasing.........


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> ^Now your just teasing.........


NOW!? I thought I was doing that all along!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Well, Beethoven did write his 5th symphony about fate knocking at the door. Maybe he was fantasizing about knocking at my door (though I hadn't been born yet!)


If the 5th is about your front door, well, wow! It must be even more powerful than what my imagination is capable of coming up with! 



> I promise to clean both doors thoroughly before you come over, if I decide to grant you access!


Better buy the Summer's Eve in bulk at Costco then! :devil: :lol:

Yet again, I bet the rest of STI is really loving this!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Better buy the Summer's Eve in bulk at Costco then! :devil: :lol:
> 
> Yet again, I bet the rest of STI is really loving this!


I certainly won't need the Summer's Eve if Ludwig comes over! Any smell coming from my area would be insignificant compared to Ludwig's stench. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> By the way, when I click on "new threads," I see "The Jazz Hole" at the top of the page. Which hole is that, front or back?


I think that's the hole you blow on...like a trumpet. :trp:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I certainly won't need the Summer's Eve if Ludwig comes over! Any smell coming from my area would be insignificant compared to Ludwig's stench. :lol:


Douché on that point!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I think that's the hole you blow on...like a trumpet. :trp:


That's a pole, not a hole!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Douché on that point!


You seem to be much pickier than Ludwig - I'll have to do a lot more prep work for your visit. A thorough shave, then a douche, maybe even an enema if you're interested in the back door...this sounds like a lot of effort! You'd better write a brilliant song to make it worth my while! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's a pole, not a hole!


The pole has a hole. It's a little hole, but big enough to cause the need for the cleaning products mentioned above.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You seem to be much pickier than Ludwig - I'll have to do a lot more prep work for your visit. A thorough shave, then a douche, maybe even an enema if you're interested in the back door...this sounds like a lot of effort! You'd better write a brilliant song to make it worth my while! :lol:


Oh, it'll be a brilliant song! As for being pickier than Ludwig, well, I do like to take a bath every now and then. I have standards! :lol: I know you have some Lysol around your place, it's no problem!

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart...use-its-disinfectant-as-birth-control-218734/

But you can skip the enemas. That's one hole I'm not that interested in!  I'm sure you have a great tush, but I'll use it for other purposes!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Oh, it'll be a brilliant song! As for being pickier than Ludwig, well, I do like to take a bath every now and then. I have standards! :lol: I know you have some Lysol around your place, it's no problem!
> 
> http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart...use-its-disinfectant-as-birth-control-218734/
> 
> *But you can skip the enemas. That's one hole I'm not that interested in! *  I'm sure you have a great tush, but I'll use it for other purposes!


Good, I'm glad to hear it! That simplifies things a lot. I'd been dreading the pre-sex enema! I don't know if any song could convince me to do that...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Good, I'm glad to hear it! That simplifies things a lot. I'd been dreading the pre-sex enema! I don't know if any song could convince me to do that...


Not even something by the Butthole Surfers? :lol:

Believe it or not, Klassik try to keep things Klassy. Plus, sticking it there just does not seem like a whole lot of fun for either side! There's much better holes to use! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

What a crazy, schizophrenic experience I'm having!! I'm involved in two totally different threads right now. In one thread, I'm talking about the difference between tonality and atonality. And in this thread, I'm talking about the difference between my two doors! :lol: 

I hope I don't get confused between the two threads. I'd hate it if I accidentally posted "I'm douching for you" in the atonality thread.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> What a crazy, schizophrenic experience I'm having!! I'm involved in two totally different threads right now. In one thread, I'm talking about the difference between tonality and atonality. And in this thread, I'm talking about the difference between my two doors! :lol:
> 
> I hope I don't get confused between the two threads. *I'd hate it if I accidentally posted "I'm douching for you" in the atonality thread.*


I think it would be hilarious if you did that!

I wish I could help you out by reading the journal article and pointing out the hits and misses from a scientific method viewpoint, but it's late! Plus, it's about atonal music! :lol: Seriously, it is an interesting topic, but not as interesting as your doors! :devil:

I'm going to go have my bath now and go to bed (there's something about late night STI posting that makes me feel dirty ). Enjoy posting about atonal music and try to behave!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I think it would be hilarious if you did that!
> 
> I wish I could help you out by reading the journal article and pointing out the hits and misses from a scientific method viewpoint, but it's late! Plus, it's about atonal music! :lol: Seriously, it is an interesting topic, but not as interesting as your doors! :devil:
> 
> I'm going to go have my bath now and go to bed (there's something about late night STI posting that makes me feel dirty ). Enjoy posting about atonal music and try to behave!


Yeah, atonal music isn't nearly as exciting as our naughty thread! I wonder if there are any scientific studies measuring blood flow _down there_ while listening to tonal and atonal pieces. I'll have to take a look...

Looking forward to continuing the dirty STI dialogue tomorrow! :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Did your grandpa liked your Grandma ?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: Best Beethoven Fancier (Poll)


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Did your grandpa liked your Grandma ?


Umm, that's a mental image that I'd rather not think about!


----------



## Bettina

You guys know that I can talk dirty with the best of 'em (or would that be the worst?:lol Anyway, here's a poll about it:

Would Beethoven like Bettina's dirty talk?

1. Yes, it would turn him on.
2. No, he would be shocked! Women just didn't talk like that in his time period.
3. Yes, he would write a symphony called "Ode to Bettina's Holes." :lol:


----------



## JeffD

Bettina said:


> ...Of course, the fact that you're alive might give you an advantage. :lol:


Might??!!?!?!!?!?  Ahhhhhhhhh!!!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You guys know that I can talk dirty with the best of 'em (or would that be the worst?:lol Anyway, here's a poll about it:
> 
> Would Beethoven like Bettina's dirty talk?
> 
> 1. Yes, it would turn him on.
> 2. No, he would be shocked! Women just didn't talk like that in his time period.
> 3. Yes, he would write a symphony called "Ode to Bettina's Holes."


I'm not sure if it would have turned Beethoven on or not. There's certainly some evidence that it wouldn't have! But women certainly did talk that way at the time it seems. I doubt Schubert and Schumann acted alone! 

As for option 3, well, I look forward to composing that Erotica symphony! :devil: They say that greatness comes in pairs (). I'm just here to finish Beethoven's unfinished work. Better late than never, right? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'm not sure if it would have turned Beethoven on or not. There's certainly some evidence that it wouldn't have! But women certainly did talk that way at the time it seems. I doubt Schubert and Schumann acted alone!
> 
> As for option 3, well, I look forward to composing that Erotica symphony! :devil: They say that greatness comes in pairs (). I'm just here to finish Beethoven's unfinished work. Better late than never, right? :lol:


I've read that Schubert might have been gay. In that case, I guess we know which hole he liked!

I look forward to hearing your Erotica symphony. When it's done, please send me an MP3 so that I can evaluate its greatness. I'm planning to use my famous pantyliner test as a measuring standard!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've read that Schubert might have been gay. In that case, I guess we know which hole he liked!
> 
> I look forward to hearing your Erotica symphony. When it's done, please send me an MP3 so that I can evaluate its greatness. I'm planning to use my famous pantyliner test as a measuring standard!


:devil:

I'll be sure to save it in a lossless format like .WAV. I wouldn't want you to lose any of the details...especially in the highs! 

Your pantyliner test is legendary indeed!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've read that Schubert might have been gay. In that case, I guess we know which hole he liked


I heard that Schubert was engaged to a woman, but the government wouldn't let him marry her because he didn't have enough money. She married a baker instead! Perhaps the thoughts about donuts turned Schubert off on glazed holes? Maybe he only liked chocolate donut holes? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

I have a question based on the posts in the screenshot below.

Do great minds think alike or do dirty minds think alike? :devil:

I think it's both!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

That's as alike as alike can be


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I have a question based on the posts in the screenshot below.
> 
> Do great minds think alike or do dirty minds think alike? :devil:
> 
> I think it's both!
> 
> View attachment 95581


Wow, that's actually spooky. I think we have some dirty mental telepathy going on here!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Wow, that's actually spooky. I think we have some dirty mental telepathy going on here!


Mental might be the key word! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Mental might be the key word! :lol:


Yeah, we're as crazy as Schumann and Schubert! Definitely not syphilis in my case, though. I always use protection. Put on your cyber-condom before you write me any more posts.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, we're as crazy as Schumann and Schubert! Definitely not syphilis in my case, though. I always use protection. Put on your cyber-condom before you write me any more posts.


 But my pole is clean...for now at least! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> But my pole is clean...for now at least! :devil:


It's nothing against you personally. It's just my rule for all partners. I'd probably ask Ludwig to double-wrap it! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It's nothing against you personally. It's just my rule for all partners. I'd probably ask Ludwig to double-wrap it!


You'd probably have to wrap all of Beethoven up to try to keep the smell off!

Ok, ok. I'll wrap it if you're more comfortable that way. :angel: Any preferences on the wrapping type? :devil:

My co-worker just called me over. He brought me one of his Neil Diamond greatest hit CDs. He was so excited that he played it for me on his computer! I'm about to go to lunch. Maybe I'll play it in the car now or when I drive home. We'll see.


















Track #16 sounds promising! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You'd probably have to wrap all of Beethoven up to try to keep the smell off!
> 
> Ok, ok. I'll wrap it if you're more comfortable that way. :angel: Any preferences on the wrapping type? :devil:
> 
> My co-worker just called me over. He brought me one of his Neil Diamond greatest hit CDs. He was so excited that he played it for me on his computer! I'm about to go to lunch. Maybe I'll play it in the car now or when I drive home. We'll see.
> 
> Track #16 sounds promising! :devil:


I'm not picky about the type of wrapper! As long as you wrap it, I'm good. 

Have fun with the Neil Diamond album. Play Me is a sexy song. Unfortunately, though, it has a cringe-worthy grammatical error in the line "songs you sang to me, songs you brang to me." I understand that Neil wanted to create a rhyme with sang, but it annoys me because I'm a huge grammar nerd. Whenever I listen to that song while ************, that line always throws off my momentum for a second!*

*I'm not sure if I used the right number of asterisks there. I might have lost count! :lol:


----------



## JeffD

Gives us hope that a man that would rather move house than pick up after himself can be attractive 190 years after he's dead. There is that genius thing though....


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> Gives us hope that a man that would rather move house than pick up after himself can be attractive 190 years after he's dead. There is that genius thing though....


Yeah, I'd never let a regular guy get away with that stuff. If you want to slob around the house in dirty underwear, then you'd better write the world's greatest symphonies (and string quartets, and piano sonatas...) :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I'd never let a regular guy get away with that stuff. If you want to slob around the house in dirty underwear, then you'd better write the world's greatest symphonies (and string quartets, and piano sonatas...) :lol:


I think I read something in a book (I have the book around here somewhere) that Mozart like spending time at Constanze's mom's house before they were married because they let him sit around in his pajamas. That sounds good to me! Of course, for Mozart, it probably helped that he was fond of Constanze and her sister!  Also, unlike Beethoven, Mozart probably kept his garments relatively clean. With Klassik, they are washed regularly! They may not always stay clean :devil:, but they'll probably stay clean longer if I have to wrap it up!


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Death Language


----------



## hpowders

Best Beethoven Seventh Symphony performance?

4 me it's gotta b Ben & Jerry Cohen's performance on a Cherry Garcia CD.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Favorite Death Language


The sounds made by Beethoven's ghost!!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

hpowders said:


> Favorite Death Language


My favorite death language is METAL \m/


----------



## hpowders

22nd Century Classical. Will TC be mod-less? Will we all be tonal? Will we all be atonal? Will we all be radioactive? Will we all be speaking fluent North Korean? Will Trump's great grandson be president? Will Iceland sink because of global warming?

Please-only substantiated and referenced research. No unsubstantiated guesses or opinions.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

My reliable source, kjære Gud, says we will return to a primitive society.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> 22nd Century Classical. Will TC be mod-less? Will we all be tonal? Will we all be atonal? Will we all be radioactive? Will we all be speaking fluent North Korean? Will Trump's great grandson be president? Will Iceland sink because of global warming?
> 
> Please-only substantiated and referenced research. No unsubstantiated guesses or opinions.


I don't care what happens. By the 22nd century, I'll be with Beethoven in the spirit world, having whatever disembodied kind of sex we can manage!


----------



## hpowders

The TC what have you been up to, section:

This morning I got so mad because someone who seemed to be lurking me for three years, never even heard of before, suddenly emerges, admits it and CRITICIZES ME!!! I was all set to jump out the window when I realized it's only three feet off the ground! Even the dog laughed at me. I get no respect at all!!! There is absolutely no ørder to my life!!!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

I go 4 against 3. What's your favorite funny-walk?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I don't care what happens. By the 22nd century, I'll be with Beethoven in the spirit world, having whatever disembodied kind of sex we can manage!


Unfortunately for you, Beethoven's BO was so bad that his spirit still smells! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I don't care what happens. By the 22nd century, I'll be with Beethoven in the spirit world, having whatever disembodied kind of sex we can manage!


Thanks for being so down to Erde.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Unfortunately for you, Beethoven's BO was so bad that his spirit still smells! :lol:


I'll be sure to bring along some deodorant (for him) and a douche (for me). I'll leave instructions in my will to be buried with these items, so that they're readily available!! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> The TC what have you been up to, section:
> 
> This morning I got so mad because someone who seemed to be lurking me for three years, never even heard of before, suddenly emerges, admits it and CRITICIZES ME!!! I was all set to jump out the window when I realized it's only three feet off the ground! Even the dog laughed at me. I get no respect at all!!! There is absolutely no ørder to my life!!!





Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I go 4 against 3. What's your favorite funny-walk?


You should have jumped out the window, h. It would have been just like Baroque composer Francesco Maria Veracini. He jumped. He had a funny walk for the rest of his life afterwards.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You should have jumped out the window, h. It would have been just like Baroque composer Francesco Maria Veracini. He jumped. He had a funny walk for the rest of his life afterwards.


I walk funny anyway. My parents almost discarded me as a baby. They kept a diary. My brother came along 6 years later and then they showered 100% of their love on him. Parents of the year.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> The TC what have you been up to, section:
> 
> This morning I got so mad because someone who seemed to be lurking me for three years, never even heard of before, suddenly emerges, admits it and CRITICIZES ME!!! I was all set to jump out the window when I realized it's only three feet off the ground! Even the dog laughed at me. I get no respect at all!!! There is absolutely no ørder to my life!!!


I agree, that lurker's post was nasty and unfair. He said something like "who cares if you don't like Bruckner?" How silly of him! The whole _point _of the thread was to discuss whether we liked Bruckner and Mahler. He was basically criticizing you for answering the poll!

I appreciate your posts about not liking Bruckner, because I'm in the same boat. It's good to have some support for my minority position! Apparently it's become a crime not to like Bruckner.*]

*I've tried my best, and I dutifully did the listening assignment that Klassik gave me. But it just isn't clicking!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> *I walk funny anyway.* My parents almost discarded me. They got even. My brother came along 6 years later and then they showered 100% of their love on him. Parents of the year.


That's probably because your third leg gets in the way.


----------



## hpowders

Iceland is melting as we speak.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That's probably because your third leg gets in the way.


That's my good leg, since it's been exercised the most.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Iceland is melting as we speak.


The penguins are invading Florida from Iceland.

Sorry, boys. SeaWorld's closed!!!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's probably because your third leg gets in the way.





hpowders said:


> That's my good leg, since it's been exercised the most.


Is that what you call a "club foot?" :lol:

You may have been the ugly duckling in your youth, but now that you're on STI, you can be the ugly f-kling!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Iceland is melting as we speak.


No big deal. Iceland has never produced any great composers, so it can melt into a puddle for all I care.* Now, if _Germany _were melting, that would be a different story.

*This is a joke. No offense intended to any Icelandic members of TC. This is just me milking anything and everything for a laugh!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

hpowders said:


> Iceland is melting as we speak.


Don't speak! Vikingene vil erobre verden igjen


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> No big deal. Iceland has never produced any great composers, so it can melt into a puddle for all I care.* Now, if _Germany _were melting, that would be a different story.
> 
> *This is a joke. No offense intended to any Icelandic members of TC. This is just me milking anything and everything for a laugh!


One would think they would have a decent ice hockey team at the Olympics. Wassup with that place???


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Is that what you call a "*club* foot?" :lol:
> 
> You may have been the ugly duckling in your youth, but now that you're on STI, you can be the ugly f-kling!


Apparently on "Polarizing Composers" I'm not an inner-circle, American Express Gold Card member of the pseudo-intellectual, elitist *club.* The air's a bit thin for me anyway at the very top of Mt. Olympus.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Apparently on "Polarizing Composers" I'm not a member of the pseudo-intellectual, elitist *club.* The air's a bit thin for me anyway at the very top of Mt. Olympus.


It's not because you bashed Bruckner. It's because you bashed Nielsen. This site is run out of Denmark, isn't it? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> *Apparently on "Polarizing Composers" I'm not a member of the pseudo-intellectual, elitist club.* The air's a bit thin for me anyway at the very top of Mt. Olympus.


Me neither! One of the pseudo-intellectuals in that thread accused me of posting pseudo-science. I'm not sure what to make of it when a pseudo accuses me of being pseudo...does it make me doubly pseudo or am I actually genuine?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Me neither! One of the pseudo-intellectuals in that thread accused me of posting pseudo-science. I'm not sure what to make of it when a pseudo accuses me of being pseudo...does it make me doubly pseudo or am I actually genuine?


Doubly pseudo? Isn't that what you call implants? :lol:

Are the real and spectacular or doubly pseudo and spectacular? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Doubly pseudo? Isn't that what you call implants? :lol:
> 
> Are the real and spectacular or doubly pseudo and spectacular? :devil:


Maybe I should get implants in preparation for my time travel trip. Beethoven is probably used to German girls with big knockers, and mine might not measure up!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Me neither! One of the pseudo-intellectuals in that thread accused me of posting pseudo-science. I'm not sure what to make of it when a pseudo accuses me of being pseudo...does it make me doubly pseudo or am I actually genuine?


Yeah, but you are not a controversial poster.

Your opinions are mostly mainstream. You are like my brother. It is impossible not to like him. Me??? Not so much. One thing: I expected my post on "PC" to be deleted, but it wasn't. I'm glad it was allowed to stand.

Thanks to you and Klassik for "liking" it, thought the rest of them just sat there in stunned silence and did nothing of the sort.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Maybe I should get implants in preparation for my time travel trip. Beethoven is probably used to German girls with big knockers, and mine might not measure up!


Well, you're not far from Silicon Valley, are you? :lol:

But don't be Sillycon, I'm sure your knockers are wonderful!  I'm not sure what Beethoven would think, but I don't think Beethoven would be a fan of artificial instruments!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yeah, but you are not a controversial poster.
> 
> Your opinions are mostly mainstream. You are like my brother. It is impossible not to like him. Me??? Not so much. One thing: I expected my post on "PC" to be deleted, but it wasn't. I'm glad it was allowed to stand.
> 
> Thanks to you and Klassik for "liking" it, thought the rest of them just sat there in stunned silence and did nothing of the sort.


I think it's great that you're a polarizing poster! It's good to stir things up and challenge received opinions. After all, as you pointed out, Beethoven was one of the most controversial figures in his time...and we all know how highly I regard him!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Unfortunately for you, Beethoven's BO was so bad that his spirit still smells! :lol:


But in those days, everybody smelled!! And everyone traveled by horse and carriage and horses had to eat and they expelled a lot of gas and solid waste. No AC either.

Trust me: 18th-19th century Vienna was not a nice place to breath in.

For a real-life simulation, go to Mackinac Island in Michigan. Only horses. No cars. Trust me. The smell is awful.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Well, you're not far from Silicon Valley, are you? :lol:
> 
> But don't be Sillycon, I'm sure your knockers are wonderful!  I'm not sure what Beethoven would think, but I don't think Beethoven would be a fan of artificial instruments!


Yeah, I guess it's best to stick with my Historically Informed Knockers. I'll never have big German jugs, but Ludwig will just have to accept me as I am!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I think it's great that you're a polarizing poster! It's good to stir things up and challenge received opinions. After all, as you pointed out, Beethoven was one of the most controversial figures in his time...and we all know how highly I regard him!


Yeah, but it's an organized clique and it doesn't matter what I write. I could write, "Have a good day" and the clique would come back with, "How would you know? That's simply pseudo-science."


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> But in those days, everybody smelled!! And everyone traveled by horse and carriage and horses had to eat and they expelled a lot of gas and solid waste. No AC either.
> 
> Trust me: 18th-19th century Vienna was not a nice place to breath in.
> 
> For a real-life simulation, go to Macinac Island in Michigan. Only horses. No cars. Trust me. The smell is awful.


Yeah, but the thing is that Beethoven smelled bad even for his time! 



Bettina said:


> Yeah, I guess it's best to stick with my Historically Informed Knockers. I'll never have big German jugs, but Ludwig will just have to accept me as I am!


Well, I'll gladly accept them as they are if Beethoven rejects them! Maybe I'll even name them! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yeah, but it's an organized clique and it doesn't matter what I write. I could write, "Have a good day" and the clique would come back with, "How would you know? That's simply pseudo-science."


Our STI clique is much more fun and exciting! We have cyber-orgies, while the snooty atonal folks just sit around and quibble about tone rows.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Yeah, but the thing is that Beethoven smelled bad even for his time!
> 
> Well, I'll gladly accept them as they are if Beethoven rejects them! Maybe I'll even name them! :devil:


Yeah, but baths were a rare luxury in those days. I remember being told that in the American South, in the 1800's, because of the summer heat, no fans or AC, all the rich folks smelled gamey. Like they were lucky to have a bath once a week. The rich mistress of the house changed her clothes 3-5 times a day.

We are really, really lucky. So many conveniences. I would kiss the ground, except for possibly encountering a boa constrictor or a gator.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Our STI clique is much more fun and exciting! We have cyber-orgies, while the snooty atonal folks just sit around and quibble about tone rows.


Agreed. They have tone rows, we have cornrows. Well, not literally. Unless Bettina has cornrows like Bo Derek in the movie _10_. Hmm. But we do have corncobs! And cornholes! I like playing cornhole games! Isn't this clique the best? :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Our STI clique is much more fun and exciting! We have cyber-orgies, while the snooty atonal folks just sit around and quibble about tone rows.


My brief and unpleasant encounter on "PC" reminds me of why I post a lot on STI. It's really true. A lotta pain out there from posters who really should know better.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yeah, but baths were a rare luxury in those days. I remember being told that in the American South, in the 1800's, because of the summer heat, no fans or AC, all the rich folks smelled gamey. Like they were lucky to have a bath once a week. The rich mistress of the house changed her clothes 3-5 times a day.
> 
> *We are really, really lucky. So many conveniences.* I would kiss the ground, except for possibly encountering a boa constrictor or a gator.


If only there were some 21st-century composers with Beethoven's level of genius, our time period would be perfect!*

*Apologies to anyone who likes/loves 21st-century music. I'm sorry to say that it leaves me cold and dry, as proven by my (pseudo-scientific) pantyliner test.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah, but baths were a rare luxury in those days. I remember being told that in the American South, in the 1800's, because of the summer heat, no fans or AC, all the rich folks smelled gamey. Like they were lucky to have a bath once a week. The rich mistress of the house changed her clothes 3-5 times a day.
> 
> We are really, really lucky. So many conveniences. I would kiss the ground, except for possibly encountering a boa constrictor or a gator.


We have fire ants the size of dogs. Do you have those in Florida? Oh, and mosquitoes the size of vultures! 

Modern life is pretty great, isn't it? It's too bad Bettina wants to leave us to go to the early 19th century!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If only there were some 21st-century composers with Beethoven's level of genius, our time period would be perfect!*
> 
> *Apologies to anyone who likes/loves 21st-century music. I'm sorry to say that it leaves me cold and dry, as proven by my (pseudo-scientific) pantyliner test.


The odds are against it. Beethoven, as with Bach and Mozart were one in a million shots.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> We have fire ants the size of dogs. Do you have those in Florida? Oh, and mosquitoes the size of vultures!
> 
> Modern life is pretty great, isn't it? It's too bad Bettina wants to leave us to go to the early 19th century!


It is great. Like I said above, there's just one problem. There aren't any genius composers! I'd gladly trade all the air-conditioning and running water and modern technology for just one genius.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> The odds are against it. Beethoven, as with Bach and Mozart were one in a million shots.


I know, but even the _lesser _composers in the early 19th-century were pretty darn good. I'd be thrilled if we had composers like Spohr, Hummel and Ries in our time period!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> We have fire ants the size of dogs. Do you have those in Florida? Oh, and mosquitoes the size of vultures!
> 
> Modern life is pretty great, isn't it? It's too bad Bettina wants to leave us to go to the early 19th century!


Sure. They build big mounds, especially in the summer. Florida is a nasty place to live in summer-the heat, the thunderstorms, the mosquitos, the fire ants...even the gators are moving to Iceland.

I walk every morning before the sun comes up. Once it's overhead, faggettaboutit.

That first whiff will change her mind. Hope she pays in advance for the round-trip.

It looks good on paper, but in reality, it sux.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It is great. Like I said above, there's just one problem. There aren't any genius composers! I'd gladly trade all the air-conditioning and running water and modern technology for just one genius.


True, but I'm not done writing my Erotica Symphony yet. I just need more inspiration! Do you think you can help me? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Sure. They build big mounds, especially in the summer. Florida is a nasty place to live in summer-the heat, the thunderstorms, the mosquitos, the fire ants...even the gators are moving to Iceland.
> 
> I walk every morning before the sun comes up. Once it's overhead, faggettaboutit.
> 
> *That first whiff will change her mind.* Hope she pays in advance for the round-trip.


Nothing could change my mind, not even the stench of horse manure (or Beethoven's armpits:lol. I would love living in a time of such great music! If I can arrive early enough in the 19th century, Haydn might even still be alive. Maybe I'll sneak in a quickie with him too.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> It is great. Like I said above, there's just one problem. There aren't any genius composers! I'd gladly trade all the air-conditioning and running water and modern technology for just one genius.


Yeah. Music today is really so dull. I play some Rouse symphonies and really, it's okay, but nothing like we have grown accustomed to.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> True, but I'm not done writing my Erotica Symphony yet. I just need more inspiration! Do you think you can help me? :devil:


I don't know how to help anyone compose. I'm planning to just sit back and swoon while Ludwig does all the work!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yeah. Music today is really so dull. I play some Rouse symphonies and really, it's okay, but nothing like we have grown accustomed to.


I'm glad you see my point. I would never dare post any of this on the main site...I'm too scared of what the Elite Clique would say! They would tear me to shreds if I admitted my true feelings about today's music.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Nothing could change my mind, not even the stench of horse manure (or Beethoven's armpits:lol. I would love living in a time of such great music! If I can arrive early enough in the 19th century, Haydn might even still be alive. Maybe I'll sneak in a quickie with him too.


Haydn wouldn't be interested much anymore. Just make sure he's comfortable and not too far from a bathroom, otherwise you might get surprised.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Nothing could change my mind, not even the stench of horse manure (or Beethoven's armpits:lol. I would love living in a time of such great music! If I can arrive early enough in the 19th century, *Haydn might even still be alive. Maybe I'll sneak in a quickie with him too*.


I doubt Haydn's wife will complain! :lol:

Today's music may suck, but that's why we have CD players!  We can listen to the music of Beethoven without getting the smell of Beethoven. The best of both worlds! Plus, the best thing of all, a living Klassik with his magical corncob!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm glad you see my point. I would never dare post any of this on the main site...I'm too scared of what the Elite Clique would say! They would tear me to shreds if I admitted my true feelings about today's music.


If you weren't so nice, you would have already been welcomed to the Elite Clique. To get rid of the niceness and replace it with nastiness, they would send you to the two week Elite Clinique.


----------



## Klassik

Pole: Elite Clique or Elite Cłits?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I doubt Haydn's wife will complain! :lol:
> 
> Today's music may suck, but that's why we have CD players!  We can listen to the music of Beethoven without getting the smell of Beethoven. The best of both worlds! Plus, the best thing of all, a living Klassik with his magical corncob!


Yeah, but it is alarming. Nobody special has come along for how many years? So that's it for great music?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I doubt Haydn's wife will complain! :lol:
> 
> Today's music may suck, but that's why we have CD players!  We can listen to the music of Beethoven without getting the smell of Beethoven. The best of both worlds! Plus, the best thing of all, a living Klassik with his magical corncob!


Yes, there are many wonderful people alive today (including you and hpowders). But I still want to live in the early 19th century, so that I can interact with the great composers. Recordings just aren't the same. I want to talk to the composers and attend the premieres. Maybe I could even become a music critic and I'd publish reviews of the new works (I know that women were blocked from such things back then, but hopefully I could change that rule if I write something that's good enough!)


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Pole: Elite Clique or Elite Cłits?


Well one costs $83.77 and the other $3496.63. I'll leave the labeling to you.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, there are many wonderful people alive today (including you and hpowders). But I still want to live in the early 19th century, so that I can interact with the great composers. Recordings just aren't the same. I want to talk to the composers and attend the premieres. Maybe I could even become a music critic and I'd publish reviews of the new works (I know that women were blocked from such things back then, but hopefully I could change that rule if I write something that's good enough!)


Just your luck, your time traveling would cross with Beethoven's and we would have him and you would be stuck back there with Hummel.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, there are many wonderful people alive today (including you and* hpowders)*. But I still want to live in the early 19th century, so that I can interact with the great composers. Recordings just aren't the same. I want to talk to the composers and attend the premieres. Maybe I could even become a music critic and I'd publish reviews of the new works (I know that women were blocked from such things back then, but hopefully I could change that rule if I write something that's good enough!)


Thanks for that.  I had a bad day and I needed that positive stroking.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> If you weren't so nice, you would have already been welcomed to the Elite Clique. To get rid of the niceness and replace it with nastiness, they would send you to the two week Elite Clinique.


Yeah, according to the Elite People, nastiness is a sign of intelligence. That's their equivalent of an IQ test...if you can heap enough abuse on other posters, then you can qualify for Mensa status in their book! I'd never want to be part of such a horrible, shallow group. Our clique is much smarter and sexier!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Just your luck, your time traveling would cross with Beethoven's and we would have him and you would be stuck back there with Hummel.


Well, there's always Schubert, but he might want the "other hole!"


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah, but it is alarming. Nobody special has come along for how many years? So that's it for great music?


1817 or 2017, does it really matter? There's more good music already in existence than what I'll ever be able to listen to anyway. Of course, I wish that there was good, new music, but I won't lose sleep over it.



Bettina said:


> Yes, there are many wonderful people alive today (including you and hpowders). But I still want to live in the early 19th century, so that I can interact with the great composers. Recordings just aren't the same. I want to talk to the composers and attend the premieres. Maybe I could even become a music critic and I'd publish reviews of the new works (I know that women were blocked from such things back then, but hopefully I could change that rule if I write something that's good enough!)


I know, but you can still write music reviews! I told you about the blog idea regarding pantyliners! 

Sometimes enjoying the music in a world of mystery is better than knowing too much. Ok, maybe not, but it sounds good! :lol:



hpowders said:


> Well one costs $83.77 and the other $3496.63. I'll leave the labeling to you.


Really? I got one on sale for $69. I'll let you guess which one! :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, according to the Elite People, nastiness is a sign of intelligence. That's their equivalent of an IQ test...if you can heap enough abuse on other posters, then you can qualify for Mensa status in their book! I'd never want to be part of such a horrible, shallow group. Our clique is much smarter and sexier!


I wonder why they never seem to be banned though? I simply write "sex" and I'm admonished.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Well, there's always Schubert, but he might want the "other hole!"


You just may find him as head clerk at Cohen's Fashion Optical after reading that hpowders labeled his music as "rhythmically tedious" and quitting musical composition 4-ever.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> 1817 or 2017, does it really matter? There's more good music already in existence than what I'll ever be able to listen to anyway. Of course, I wish that there was good, new music, but I won't lose sleep over it.
> 
> I know, but you can still write music reviews! I told you about the blog idea regarding pantyliners!
> 
> Sometimes enjoying the music in a world of mystery is better than knowing too much. Ok, maybe not, but it sounds good! :lol:
> 
> Really? I got one on sale for $69. I'll let you guess which one! :tiphat:


I agree. There is more good to great music that I still haven't heard from hundreds of years ago, so I shouldn't worry about the dismal state of contemporary music.


----------



## Scopitone

The Fourth Thing You Ate


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> I agree. There is more good to great music that I still haven't heard from hundreds of years ago, so I shouldn't worry about the dismal state of contemporary music.


People that listen to Blues, Jazz, and sometimes even classic rock tend to make the same comments.

Of course, we get to add a few centuries to our option list.


----------



## Vaneyes

Drain swamp, add to swamp, study swamp, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.politico.com/story/2017/06/26/republicans-obamacare-repeal-votes-239984?lo=ap_d1


----------



## Vaneyes

Blueberry, strawberry, dingleberry, raspberry, blackberry, other.


----------



## Bettina

Vaneyes said:


> Blueberry, strawberry, *dingleberry*, raspberry, blackberry, other.


I'd better get rid of those before I let anyone enter the back door!


----------



## Vaneyes

Tickle, spank, lick, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> I'd better get rid of those before I let anyone enter the back door!


----------



## hpowders

If Bruckner was your composing student, what would you teach him?

As for me, first assignment: compose 9 symphonies (and hope the psychology gets him to do only 4).


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> If Bruckner was your composing student, what would you teach him?
> 
> As for me, first assignment: compose 9 symphonies (and hope the psychology gets him to do only 4).


I'd tell him that the Curse of the Ninth is actually the Curse of the Fourth. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'd tell him that the Curse of the Ninth is actually the Curse of the Fourth. :lol:


Whatever gets him to compose less.


----------



## hpowders

Important announcement: Classical Music Recall Notice:

Any CDs purchased between 1973 and 2017 from DGG, RCA, EMI and Philips, please bring them to Berlin Brandenburg Gate at 10:30 AM for replacement CDs. CDs may be forcefully ejected from most players.


----------



## hpowders

Teaching intermediate flute:

Should I start right in on atonal transposing or should I wait a bit?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm glad you see my point. I would never dare post any of this on the main site...I'm too scared of what the Elite Clique would say! They would tear me to shreds if I admitted my true feelings about today's music.


No they wouldn't. You are very nice. Many posters share your opinions and it is not a crime to express them....yes! yes! it's true that the Elite Clique almost got me to jump out of a three foot high window this morning....but I'm the exception, not the rule.


----------



## Scopitone

Vaneyes said:


> Blueberry, strawberry, dingleberry, raspberry, blackberry, other.


#SnozzberryFail


----------



## Scopitone

List Your Top 10 Opera Understudies

1. Arrange by age, and then height. 
2. If dead, then use the age they would be today.


----------



## Scopitone

What's Your Favorite Vegan Material for Creating Bow Strings?


----------



## Scopitone

Which Mahler Symphony would be Daisy Duke's Favorite?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'd better get rid of those before I let anyone enter the back door!


Or the front door!  Most of us don't want to smell something that reminds us of Beethoven when we're about to take care of business!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Or the front door!  Most of us don't want to smell something that reminds us of Beethoven when we're about to take care of business!


OK, send me that Erotica symphony of yours. Let's see if it motivates me to wash my a** for you. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> OK, send me that Erotica symphony of yours. Let's see if it motivates me to wash my a** for you. :lol:


Do you really need motivation for that?  Maybe I should send you one of those electric bidets that plays Mozart when you flush!


----------



## Klassik

True musical stories from this evening:

1. My co-worker and I did karaoke to Tom Jones before we left work :tiphat:
2. I listened to the Neil Diamond CD...


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Do you really need motivation for that?  Maybe I should send you one of those electric bidets that plays Mozart when you flush!


I actually do shower every morning, unlike Ludwig! But if I Scheißen during the day after my shower, then my a** has to wait until the following morning to get washed again. Of course I wipe thoroughly afterward, but it's hard to know if there might be little specks hiding in there! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> True musical stories from this evening:
> 
> 1. My co-worker and I did karaoke to Tom Jones before we left work :tiphat:
> 2. I listened to the Neil Diamond CD...


I love it how we've got two separate topics going here - one about Scheiße and the other one about Neil Diamond! Well, spill the beans (so to speak!) Did you like the CD?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I actually do shower every morning, unlike Ludwig! But if I Scheißen during the day after my shower, then my a** has to wait until the following morning to get washed again. Of course I wipe thoroughly afterward, but it's hard to know if there might be little specks hiding in there! :lol:


I've domesticated my bowel movements. I usually don't have to perform labor until before my evening bath. This way, my butt is always clean! The only downside to an evening shower is that I may have to shower again in the morning if I have a wet dream!  Fortunately, those have not been common for many years now! TMI? 



Bettina said:


> I love it how we've got two separate topics going here - one about Scheiße and the other one about Neil Diamond! Well, spill the beans (so to speak!) Did you like the CD?


You don't want to know about the Tom Jones karaoke? :lol: Anyway, there were a couple of songs that were okay. Of course, _Sweet Caroline_ talks about touching! We knew that though. _Cherry, Cherry_ and _I Am... I Said_ are okay. The only thing I could think of while listening to the rest was, "Bettina pleasures herself to this?!" 

Don't hate me though. I do like Beethoven's music at least!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I've domesticated my bowel movements. I usually don't have to perform labor until before my evening bath. This way, my butt is always clean! The only downside to an evening shower is that I may have to shower again in the morning if I have a wet dream!  Fortunately, those have not been common for many years now! TMI?
> 
> You don't want to know about the Tom Jones karaoke? :lol: Anyway, there were a couple of songs that were okay. Of course, _Sweet Caroline_ talks about touching! We knew that though. _Cherry, Cherry_ and _I Am... I Said_ are okay. The only thing I could think of while listening to the rest was, "Bettina pleasures herself to this?!"
> 
> Don't hate me though. I do like Beethoven's music at least!


That's impressive how you can control exactly when you "produce an opus." I usually manage to do so in the morning before my shower, but sometimes I just can't make it happen in time! Of course, I suppose that I could add in an extra shower later in the day, but I'm usually too lazy.

As for the Neil Diamond album, I certainly don't hate you for your honest assessment! I agree with you about Neil's inferior compositional skills. He certainly isn't Beethoven! The main turn-on for me is Neil's voice, not his compositions.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> As for the Neil Diamond album, I certainly don't hate you for your honest assessment! I agree with you about Neil's inferior compositional skills. He certainly isn't Beethoven! The main turn-on for me is Neil's voice, not his compositions.


You'll hate me now, but I think his singing is mediocre!  He's probably a better songwriter than a singer. As for his stage presence, I don't know. The CD does not communicate much in that regard. All I know is that I won't be getting any presence on your stage tonight, will I? :lol:

There are some really sappy pop love songs I like. I don't perform self-love to them, but I like them!  Do I dare to spill the beans?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You'll hate me now, but I think his singing is mediocre!  He's probably a better songwriter than a singer. As for his stage presence, I don't know. The CD does not communicate much in that regard. All I know is that I won't be getting any presence on your stage tonight, will I? :lol:
> 
> There are some really sappy pop love songs I like. I don't perform self-love to them, but I like them!  Do I dare to spill the beans?


I'm not sure why I'm so crazy about Neil's singing voice...I agree that, objectively speaking, his vocal technique isn't that great. But something about his voice really gets me going!

My fantasy stage is already too crowded (Neil, Beethoven, Liszt, Bernstein, Mozart, Haydn...) so there's no more room for other fantasies at this point! I'm sorry that I can't squeeze you in. :lol:

Yes, please do spill the beans about your guilty pleasure pop songs. You and I are famous for spilling EVERY detail on TC, right down to the dirty details of how we coordinate showers with BMs!  We need to keep on oversharing so that we can maintain our reputations as the ruling champions of TMI.


----------



## Minor Sixthist

My 'fantasy song' in the sense I think you guys are referring would have to be Pres Des Remparts des Seville from Carmen. Pure seduction in French. By my beloved Bizet. All I need.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm not sure why I'm so crazy about Neil's singing voice...I agree that, objectively speaking, his vocal technique isn't that great. But something about his voice really gets me going!


I feel that my Tom Jones karaoke singing was at least equal to Mr. Diamond's singing. I may be the only person who believes that though! :lol:



> My fantasy stage is already too crowded (Neil, Beethoven, Liszt, Bernstein, Mozart, Haydn...) so there's no more room for other fantasies at this point! I'm sorry that I can't squeeze you in.


I'll let this slide tonight! I'm really tired!  I apologize if my posts don't make any sense or aren't funny! Tomorrow, however...:devil:



> Yes, please do spill the beans about your guilty pleasure pop songs. You and I are famous for spilling EVERY detail on TC, right down to the dirty details of how we coordinate showers with BMs!  We need to keep on oversharing so that we can maintain our reputations as the ruling champions of TMI.


Here's one super sappy pop love song I kind of like. Please don't laugh at me too much.


----------



## Klassik

Well, I'm so embarrassed now. Not only is everyone laughing at me for my sappy pop song tastes, but I'm making spelling mistakes left and right!



Minor Sixthist said:


> My 'fantasy song' in the sense I think you guys are referring would have to be Pres Des Remparts des Seville from Carmen. Pure seduction in French. By my beloved Bizet. All I need.


I thought the thought of me waiving my underwear like I was a bullfighter was all you needed? :lol::devil:


----------



## Minor Sixthist

Klassik said:


> Well, I'm so embarrassed now. Not only is everyone laughing at me for my sappy pop song tastes, but I'm making spelling mistakes left and right!
> 
> I thought the thought of me waiving my underwear like I was a bullfighter was all you needed? :lol::devil:


Of course it is! The aria will only be on the background, duh. Come on Toreador. :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I feel that my Tom Jones karaoke singing was at least equal to Mr. Diamond's singing. I may be the only person who believes that though! :lol:
> 
> I'll let this slide tonight! I'm really tired!  I apologize if my posts don't make any sense or aren't funny! Tomorrow, however...:devil:
> 
> Here's one super sappy pop love song I kind of like. Please don't laugh at me too much.


I'm sure that your Tom Jones karaoke was great! And I certainly am sorry that I can't "slide" you in. There's simply no more room in my head for any new fantasies.

Thanks for posting that video. That's actually a good song...it doesn't seem too sappy. The lyrics are pretty sexy.


----------



## Klassik

Minor Sixthist said:


> Of course it is! The aria will only be on the background, duh. Come on Toreador. :devil:


Oh, ok. Just making sure!  This bullfighter is up to the challenge, no doubt! :devil:



Bettina said:


> I'm sure that your Tom Jones karaoke was great! And I certainly am sorry that I can't "slide" you in. There's simply no more room in my head for any new fantasies.
> 
> Thanks for posting that video. That's actually a good song...it doesn't seem too sappy. The lyrics are pretty sexy.


I'll have to work on you tomorrow! That Bernstein can't take up my rightful place!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Oh, ok. Just making sure!  This bullfighter is up to the challenge, no doubt! :devil:
> 
> I'll have to work on you tomorrow! That Bernstein can't take up my rightful place!


I'd hate to give up Bernstein! Unlike most of the others on my list, there's actual video footage of him conducting and lecturing. A great resource for fantasizing and performing solo activities!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'd hate to give up Bernstein! Unlike most of the others on my list, there's actual video footage of him conducting and lecturing. A great resource for fantasizing and performing solo activities!


Yeah, but have you ever seen him conduct with his 11th finger? That's something only Klassik can provide! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, but have you ever seen him conduct with his 11th finger? That's something only Klassik can provide! :devil:


He probably did that at private parties. Unfortunately, there's no video footage of it. I do like your idea of a "stiff" conducting style. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> *He probably did that at private parties. *Unfortunately, there's no video footage of it. I do like your idea of a "stiff" conducting style. :lol:


Probably :lol:

Only the wand (I initially typed "wang" by mistake!) is stiff! The hips are oh so fluid! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Probably :lol:
> 
> Only the wand (I initially typed "wang" by mistake!) is stiff! The hips are oh so fluid! :devil:


That technique would be perfect for conducting the Erotica Symphony.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That technique would be perfect for conducting the Erotica Symphony.


Of course! The baton, or the wang if you simply must, really knows how to get the most erotic sound out of the "orchestra."  I assure you that my baton technique is exquisite! Bernstein would be watching PBS (Pubic Broadcasting Service) for advice!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I'm thinking of composing a new symphony entitled "Get a Room- Opus 69"


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm thinking of composing a new symphony entitled "Get a Room- Opus 69"


Klassik uses the Opussy cataloging system for his compositions! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm thinking of composing a new symphony entitled "Get a Room- Opus 69"


It wouldn't be as much fun in a private room. The exhibitionism adds to the thrill!

By the way, thanks again for putting those diacritical marks in your signature.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It wouldn't be as much fun in a private room. The exhibitionism adds to the thrill!


Of course! What else will the Pubic Broadcasting Service put on TV? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Of course! What else will the Pubic Broadcasting Service put on TV? :lol:


Someone should write an opera using the STI posts as the libretto. That would be a perfect show for the Pubic Broadcasting Service, and you could conduct it with that famous eleventh finger!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Someone should write an opera using the STI posts as the libretto. That would be a perfect show for the Pubic Broadcasting Service, and you could conduct it with that famous eleventh finger!


This sounds like a plan! It would probably be popular too! It'll be kind of like Don Giovanni! :lol:

I wonder why none of the major symbols for classical work catalogs use a diacritic. Klassik's Öpussy catalog will use Öp. symbol!


----------



## Klassik

One last STI before I go to bed. I'm tired!

Stupid Thread Idea: Sex or fried chicken?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Fried sex please


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Favourite Martian arias


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bottom 3 Recordings from Your Collection


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The composer for every one, a genetically bred beast

WolfBach Cagehandel Haydnhoven or Wolfy Monster for short


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Ist das ein Deutsche Komponist bitte?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Das could bite I guess, Beethoven was know for it


----------



## hpowders

It's 2 PM and you have a dinner date at 7PM.

To kill the time, will it be:

1. A Digital file

2. Three CDs

3. A Nail file

4. Gomer Pyle


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

hpowders said:


> It's 2 PM and you have a dinner date at 7PM.
> 
> To kill the time, will it be:
> 
> 1. A Digital file
> 
> 2. Three CDs
> 
> 3. A Nail file
> 
> 4. Gomer Pyle


----------



## Klassik

Stupid thread ideas based on real quotes from the main forum: Are you suggesting that "the hard ones" cannot be shown to be tonal? Or merely that I can't show that they are? 

I'm not sure if my thread links will work for you guys since I have my settings set to display 40 posts per page. It's post #178 from the polarized thread of doøm!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Stupid thread ideas based on real quotes from the main forum: Are you suggesting that "the hard ones" cannot be shown to be tonal? Or merely that I can't show that they are?
> 
> I'm not sure if my thread links will work for you guys since I have my settings set to display 40 posts per page. It's post #178 from the polarized thread of doøm!


If "the hard one" is 12 inches, does that automatically make it atonal?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Stupid thread ideas based on real quotes from the main forum: Are you suggesting that "the hard ones" cannot be shown to be tonal? Or merely that I can't show that they are?
> 
> I'm not sure if my thread links will work for you guys since I have my settings set to display 40 posts per page. It's post #178 from the polarized thread of doøm!


So soft is tonal and hard is atonal?

Wow! My world just got rocked!!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If "the hard one" is 12 inches, does that automatically make it atonal?


I've been slowly modulating from atonal toward tonal. Such is the sadness of life's inevitible progression.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> So soft is tonal and hard is atonal?
> 
> Wow! My world just got rocked!!


We all know the hard ones are tonal! Well, at least it leads to sticky, sweet tonal music! :devil:



Bettina said:


> If "the hard one" is 12 inches, does that automatically make it atonal?


Would you become an atonal fan if it did? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> We all know the hard ones are tonal! Well, at least it leads to sticky, sweet tonal music! :devil:
> 
> Would you become an atonal fan if it did? :lol:


I definitely _wouldn't _become an *a*to*nal* fan with a 12-incher! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Which goes better as a name? Atony for a boy or Atoni for a girl?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I've been slowly modulating from atonal toward tonal. Such is the sadness of life's inevitible progression.


Changing from Schoenberg into Beethoven? Sounds like a great progression to me!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I've been slowly modulating from atonal toward tonal. Such is the sadness of life's inevitible progression.


My "hard one" is just as good as it ever was and I can show it to prove it! :devil:

True story: Once, in the second grade, there was a kid in our class who would expose himself anytime you asked to see his "Sweet Tarts." I wonder how he turned out. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Changing from Schoenberg into Beethoven? Sounds like a great progression to me!


Are you saying that Beethoven was flaccid? I mean, he probably was...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Changing from Schoenberg into Beethoven? Sounds like a great progression to me!


Yeah. That's a good way to look at it. I'm returning my Prozac back to the shelf.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I definitely _wouldn't _become an *a*to*nal* fan with a 12-incher! :lol:


Hey, why not? Maybe you can get some backdoor action and a colonoscopy at the same time! :lol:

From a woman's perspective, how much does size really matter? Not that I'm worried about this, I'm just curious. I think women overestimate the importance of breast size!


----------



## hpowders

What's wrong with Eroica as a female name for either a person or a dog? I think it sounds cute.

Probably better for a cute little female dog.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Are you saying that Beethoven was flaccid? I mean, he probably was...


If so, I could simply spike his coffee with Viagra and the problem would be fixed! 60 beans of coffee plus one little blue pill.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> If so, I could simply spike his coffee with Viagra and the problem would be fixed! 60 beans of coffee plus one little blue pill.


Are you sure that his heart is healthy enough for sexual activity? :lol:

Speaking of which, I've had an erection for over 3 hours. I didn't take a Viagra, but should I seek medical attention?


----------



## hpowders

My top five polarizing composers today.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> What's wrong with Eroica as a female name for either a person or a dog? I think it sounds cute.
> 
> Probably better for a cute little female dog.


I would misread their name as Erotica. That would be awesome for a woman, but not so for a dog!  I like Bettina's doggy style, but not _that_ doggy style!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Hey, why not? Maybe you can get some backdoor action and a colonoscopy at the same time! :lol:
> 
> From a woman's perspective, how much does size really matter? Not that I'm worried about this, I'm just curious. I think women overestimate the importance of breast size!


Size isn't important, at least not to me. It's how you use it that matters!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I would misread their name as Erotica. That would be awesome for a woman, but not so for a dog!  I like Bettina's doggy style, but not _that_ doggy style!


Okay. I'll just stick with "Morris".


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I would misread their name as Erotica. That would be awesome for a woman, but not so for a dog!  I like Bettina's doggy style, but not _that_ doggy style!


Yeah, I have absolutely NO interest in having sex with a dog. Not even the Beethoven dog in the movie.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Peter Maxwell Davies once went on a trip to Antarctica, does that make him a polarizing composer?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Are you sure that his heart is healthy enough for sexual activity? :lol:
> 
> Speaking of which, I've had an erection for over 3 hours. I didn't take a Viagra, but should I seek medical attention?


Beethoven's heart was probably fine. I've read that he used to run around frantically outside while thinking of what to compose next. If he could do that, then he could probably handle Bettina's sexual demands!

As for your medical "situation," maybe I should just stop posting for a while, and then your problem might go away.


----------



## hpowders

Important notice:

This thread is now being monitored by Otto Kuntrowl, a very wise move, in my opinion.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I have absolutely NO interest in having sex with a dog. Not even the Beethoven dog in the movie.


So cold. Brrrrrrrr.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Size isn't important, at least not to me. It's how you use it that matters!


Fortunately, Klassik offers nothing but the finest in size and technique! :devil:



Bettina said:


> Beethoven's heart was probably fine. I've read that he used to run around frantically outside while thinking of what to compose next. If he could do that, then he could probably handle Bettina's sexual demands!


I'm not sure if anyone can handle your libidinal force...except Klassik! Well, that Schumann seemed like he could handle a lot too. Just sayin'.



> As for your medical "situation," maybe I should just stop posting for a while, and then your problem might go away.


STI: Why does STI give me an erection? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> *Are you sure that his heart is healthy enough for sexual activity?* :lol:
> 
> Speaking of which, I've had an erection for over 3 hours. I didn't take a Viagra, but should I seek medical attention?


Sounds like the TV commercial that comes right after the My Pillow commercial. They go together, I guess.


----------



## Vaneyes




----------



## hpowders

The most polarizing TC posters and the women they bravely left behind on the way to the pseudo-intellectual debates.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> [/QUOTE
> 
> Too bad it never seems to turn out that way.


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


>


Beethoven:










Klassik:










It's not that curved though!


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Vaneyes said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> [/QUOTE
> 
> Too bad it never seems to turn out that way.
> 
> 
> 
> *"Guilty of shameless imagery!"
> 
> *
Click to expand...


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> Size isn't important, at least not to me. It's how you use it that matters!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Size isn't important, at least not to me. It's how you use it that matters!





















:lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> So cold. Brrrrrrrr.


----------



## Vaneyes

What is your favorite last meal? Why?


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


> What is your favorite last meal? Why?


I can tell you what it's not. Arby's!

Just kidding all you roast beef fans! It still wouldn't be my first choice though.


----------



## hpowders

Most pulverizing composer*

*subtitled-I've got a crush over you.


----------



## hpowders

TC vocabulary section:

Which is worse, being an anti-semite or an anti-dentite?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I can tell you what it's not. Arby's!
> 
> Just kidding all you roast beef fans! It still wouldn't be my first choice though.


Arby's is the worst. The first roast beef I ever ate that tasted like cardboard. Awful!!

If Bettina ordered Arby's for Beethoven....well, it would be over before it started.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Most pulverizing composer.


Well, it seems that Beethoven didn't do much pulverizing! Bach, OTOH...



hpowders said:


> TC vocabulary section:
> 
> Which is worse, being an anti-semite or an anti-dentite?


What about an anti-Semitic anti-dentite? Perhaps that's Wagner? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, it seems that Beethoven didn't do much pulverizing! Bach, OTOH...
> 
> What about an anti-Semitic anti-dentite? Perhaps that's Wagner? :lol:


Wagner would only treat RING-worm of the mouth. A specialist.

He would save his sadistic nurse Brünnhilde to do extractions-of both teeth and manhood.


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Thread Idea: Would Bettina and Klassik make out during Schindler's List?


Smart Answer: Yes, duh! :kiss:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Stupid Thread Idea: Would Bettina and Klassik make out during Schindler's List?
> 
> Smart Answer: Yes, duh! :kiss:


Been there. Done that.* THE MOVIE!! *What did you think???


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Been there. Done that. THE MOVIE!! What did you think???


You did it at the movie? :devil: Did you have a woman or was it Pee-Wee Herman/Paul Reubens style? :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Goop, poop, snoop, loop, hoop, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You did it at the movie? :devil: Did you have a woman or was it Pee-Wee Herman/Paul Reubens style? :lol:


That's so seedy!! I wonder if they still have those......


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> That's so seedy!! I wonder if they still have those......


They seem pretty useless these days, but the 24 hour video stores still exist in Houston. Not that I would know anything about them, I just see them on the Interstate. 

STI: You favorite memory from the little room behind the curtain.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What is your favourite silent movement?


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What is your favourite silent movement?


The 2nd movement from 4'33" is mythical!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> They seem pretty useless these days, but the 24 hour video stores still exist in Houston. Not that I would know anything about them, I just see them on the Interstate.
> 
> STI: You favorite memory from the little room behind the curtain.


The internet wiped out the need for 42nd Street moviehouses!!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What is your favourite silent movement?


The one in my Rolex Submariner.


----------



## Klassik

Pole: Your best "whacking" material as a teenager? A) Playboy, B) Cosmo, C) Sears Catalog


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Define the term Polaris(z)ing in the context of (a)tonal music


----------



## JeffD

Klassik said:


> Are you saying that Beethoven was flaccid? I mean, he probably was...


One need only listen to Beethoven's Piano Concerto #5 Op 73 to surmise he had no problem in that department. I am surprised that piano players can stand up and take a bow after playing that one.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

JeffD said:


> One need only listen to Beethoven's Piano Concerto #5 Op 73 to surmise he had no problem in that department. I am surprised that piano players can stand up and take a bow after playing that one.


They get better pedal control that way...............


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> One need only listen to Beethoven's Piano Concerto #5 Op 73 to surmise he had no problem in that department. I am surprised that piano players can stand up and take a bow after playing that one.


Thank you for defending Beethoven's sexual honor. Klassik keeps on claiming that Beethoven was impotent, but I think he's just saying that because he wants to get into my panties! :lol:


----------



## JeffD

I might think a lot of things about Beethoven, but impotent is not one of them. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Thank you for defending Beethoven's sexual honor. Klassik keeps on claiming that Beethoven was impotent, but I think he's just saying that *because he wants to get into my panties!* :lol:


Klassik is an honest man. Based on this, I would like to make two important points:


Klassik does indeed want in Bettina's panties! :devil:
I have scientific proof that Klassik will give Bettina more orgasms than Beethoven.


----------



## Klassik

STI: Identify TC posters by their pubic hair


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Klassik is an honest man. Based on this, I would like to make two important points:
> 
> 
> Klassik does indeed want in Bettina's panties! :devil:
> *I have scientific proof that Klassik will give Bettina more orgasms than Beethoven*.


As the people in the atonality thread would say, that's pseudo-science! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> As the people in the atonality thread would say, that's pseudo-science! :lol:


There's nothing pseudo about my libido! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> There's nothing pseudo about my libido! :devil:


I know that! Your libido is totally real. But as for my orgasms, nobody could do it better than Ludwig! Even listening to his music almost makes me have an orgasm. There seems to be a direct pathway from my ears to my you-know-what.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I know that! Your libido is totally real. But as for my orgasms, nobody could do it better than Ludwig! Even listening to his music almost makes me have an orgasm. There seems to be a direct pathway from my ears to my you-know-what.


I don't know about that. First, you'd have to dig up Beethoven's body. I don't think there's much left, but even if there was, you'd have to manually work it into your front door! You might get an orgasm out of that, but you'd get many if you let Klassik shoulder the load! :devil:

I can make a deal with you. I'll let you listen to Beethoven while I work the front door. The best of both worlds, huh?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I don't know about that. First, you'd have to dig up Beethoven's body. I don't think there's much left, but even if there was, you'd have to manually work it into your front door! You might get an orgasm out of that, but you'd get many if you let Klassik shoulder the load! :devil:
> 
> I can make a deal with you. I'll let you listen to Beethoven while I work the front door. The best of both worlds, huh?


Oddly enough, I prefer to be alone with my fantasies. The weird thing about me (well, ONE of the many weird things!) is that I like solo activities better than duets. That's probably why I go for dead guys...there's no chance of any actual encounter taking place! :lol: It's a bizarre form of asexuality - well, maybe that's not the right word, considering what a horny maniac I am. :devil: I guess I should call it autosexuality (gosh, that sounds like I go around humping cars! :lol


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Oddly enough, I prefer to be alone with my fantasies. The weird thing about me (well, ONE of the many weird things!) is that I like solo activities better than duets. That's probably why I go for dead guys...there's no chance of any actual encounter taking place! :lol: It's a bizarre form of asexuality - well, maybe that's not the right word, considering what a horny maniac I am. I guess I should call it autosexuality (gosh, that sounds like I go around humping cars! )


I've been shot down before, but this is the oddest example I've ever seen! 

Well, at least the truth is coming out. I actually think female touching is next closest thing to actually, well, you know...in terms of hotness. :devil: Of course, it would be a lot hotter if you were thinking of ole' Klassik instead of Beethoven or Neil Diamond!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I've been shot down before, but this is the oddest example I've ever seen!
> 
> Well, at least the truth is coming out. I actually think female touching is next closest thing to actually, well, you know...in terms of hotness. :devil: Of course, it would be a lot hotter if you were thinking of ole' Klassik instead of Beethoven or Neil Diamond!


Yeah, it _is_ odd! I've definitely given sex a try - MANY tries! :lol: - and of course I do like it. But it's never lit my fire as much as my solitary activities. There's just something about being alone with my fingers and a CD player...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, it _is_ odd! I've definitely given sex a try - MANY tries! :lol: - and of course I do like it. But it's never lit my fire as much as my solitary activities. There's just something about being alone with my fingers and a CD player...


I can see one advantage to dating Beethoven. At least if he turns you down, he won't use the old "I'm washing my hair tonight" line! I can't really tell if this is a really weird version of that or if you're telling the truth, but I have no reason to doubt you!

I don't know. My Psychology background offers no insight into this! I guess there's less guilt involved with "solitary activities" than with the actual activities! I don't know what to tell you! Maybe you've never achieved the emotional intimacy required to really enjoy great, passionate lovemaking!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I can see one advantage to dating Beethoven. At least if he turns you down, he won't use the old "I'm washing my hair tonight" line! I can't really tell if this is a really weird version of that or if you're telling the truth, but I have no reason to doubt you!
> 
> I don't know. My Psychology background offers no insight into this! I guess there's less guilt involved with "solitary activities" than with the actual activities! I don't know what to tell you! Maybe you've never achieved the emotional intimacy required to really enjoy great, passionate lovemaking!


LOL, yeah, Beethoven would never make any excuses that involved showering or grooming! If I went back in time and asked him out on a date, he'd probably say "no, I'm too busy writing the world's greatest pieces."

My autosexual orientation definitely is puzzling. I don't actually feel guilty about sex, so I don't think it's that. It might be the intimacy thing. I have close platonic friends, but I've never felt that close to any of my lovers. Probably because I'm too busy pretending that the man is Beethoven or Neil Diamond (or Liszt or Bernstein, etc...) Whenever I have sex, I keep on reminding myself "don't call him Ludwig/Neil/Lenny." :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> LOL, yeah, Beethoven would never make any excuses that involved showering or grooming! If I went back in time and asked him out on a date, he'd probably say "no, I'm too busy writing the world's greatest pieces."
> 
> My autosexual orientation definitely is puzzling. I don't actually feel guilty about sex, so I don't think it's that. It might be the intimacy thing. I have close platonic friends, but I've never felt that close to any of my lovers. Probably because I'm too busy pretending that the man is Beethoven or Neil Diamond (or Liszt or Bernstein, etc...) Whenever I have sex, I keep on reminding myself "don't call him Ludwig/Neil/Lenny." :lol:


With Beethoven, you'd probably be so happy that he was actually washing his hair that you'd be happy to pass up the sex! :lol:

You can call me Beethoven, I wouldn't mind! I am a dirty man, just in a very different way than Ludwig! :devil: I would not be as happy if you called me Lenny or Neil though! 

I don't know. Maybe you're so open about stuff that you don't require the intimacy that most others want with a partner. Maybe you just have unrealistic expectations about who a partner should be. Maybe your fingers are really that magical! 

The million dollar question is if you're happy though! If you are, why mess with success?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> With Beethoven, you'd probably be so happy that he was actually washing his hair that you'd be happy to pass up the sex! :lol:
> 
> You can call me Beethoven, I wouldn't mind! I am a dirty man, just in a very different way than Ludwig! :devil: I would not be as happy if you called me Lenny or Neil though!
> 
> I don't know. Maybe you're so open about stuff that you don't require the intimacy that most others want with a partner. Maybe you just have unrealistic expectations about who a partner should be. Maybe your fingers are really that magical!
> 
> The million dollar question is if you're happy though! If you are, why mess with success?


Those are all great points! Yes, I actually am happy with my "autosexual" orientation. Through my fantasies, I can selectively experience the best aspects of a man: Lenny's skills as a conductor, Neil's voice and onstage persona, Ludwig's brilliant compositions. I don't have to deal with any of the man's less desirable aspects.

My feelings of sexual attraction are like a kind of hero worship, and no man could live up to that image in real life. Basically, I tend to fall in love with a man's talent or stage personality, and then I expect/want him to act like that all the time. You know how Neil acts when he's on stage, with his huge backup band and the strobe lighting and stuff? That's what I would want in the bedroom, and that's not realistic! Or I would need him to be composing masterpieces during sex or something crazy like that.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Those are all great points! Yes, I actually am happy with my "autosexual" orientation. Through my fantasies, I can selectively experience the best aspects of a man: Lenny's skills as a conductor, Neil's voice and onstage persona, Ludwig's brilliant compositions. I don't have to deal with any of the man's less desirable aspects.
> 
> My feelings of sexual attraction are like a kind of hero worship, and no man could live up to that image in real life. Basically, I tend to fall in love with a man's talent or stage personality, and then I expect/want him to act like that all the time. You know how Neil acts when he's on stage, with his huge backup band and the strobe lighting and stuff? That's what I would want in the bedroom, and that's not realistic! Or I would need him to be composing masterpieces during sex or something crazy like that.


If you're happy, then go for it! Some people really are happiest by themselves. It may not fit in with any romantic depictions, but there's nothing wrong with that. You certainly wouldn't want ole' Klassik if you don't want to deal with a man's less desirable aspects as you know! :lol: I have no talent and my stage personality is that of embarrassing myself if it gets a laugh! That would probably count as one of my many less desirable aspects!


----------



## arpeggio

Are threads about atonal music being a waste of time a waste of time?


----------



## arpeggio

Are your ten favorite composers today are the same that they were last week?


----------



## Klassik

arpeggio said:


> Are threads about atonal music being a waste of time a waste of time?


Yes, mostly. This is because most atonal music is a waste of time!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> If you're happy, then go for it! Some people really are happiest by themselves. It may not fit in with any romantic depictions, but there's nothing wrong with that. You certainly wouldn't want ole' Klassik if you don't want to deal with a man's less desirable aspects as you know! :lol: I have no talent and my stage personality is that of embarrassing myself if it gets a laugh! That would probably count as one of my many less desirable aspects!


Actually, humor is a desirable aspect. I'm a huge fan of humor, so you've definitely got that going for you! However, due to my autosexual orientation, you won't be getting into my panties! 

Actually, I don't know exactly what the right word is for my orientation. Basically, I'm attracted to a man's public image or his works, but not to him as a whole person. For example: several years ago, I got a crush on a concert pianist (name withheld to protect the innocent!) I was attracted to his stage personality, his charismatic, dynamic style of performing. Thanks to the social circles that I was moving in, I was actually able to meet him, and soon we ended up going on a date.

CUE MASSIVE DISAPPOINTMENT! His behavior on the date was nothing like how he had acted on stage. Gone was the confident, flamboyant man whom I had admired from a distance. On the date, his behavior was awkward and insecure. I was no longer attracted to him. The demise of that budding relationship wasn't his fault. It was my fault for only being attracted to his onstage showmanship.

Wow, I'm totally using STI as my therapy thread. It's turned into BTT - Bettina's Therapy Thread. :lol:


----------



## Woodduck

My God, what am I reading here? 

It kinda makes me wish I were younger.


----------



## Bettina

Woodduck said:


> *My God, what am I reading here? *
> 
> It kinda makes me wish I were younger.


It depends on which STI posts you've been reading! Some of the recent topics include: sex with Beethoven, sex with Neil Diamond, and solitary sex while fantasizing about the above-mentioned figures.


----------



## Klassik

It's okay. Unlike Beethoven (and perhaps like Neil Diamond), I'm all ears.  Ok, technically I'm using my eyes, but you get it! Tonight's posts are not very funny and certainly not sexy at all! What a disappointment to the people who come here for a laugh!

If you weren't happy, then I would certainly suggest that you reconsider what you look for in a partner! But you say you are happy. If that's the case, why worry? You'll know it if someone comes along and challenges that. Hopefully you'll be able to deal with the usual ups and downs that come with any healthy relationship though.

Maybe I'm wrong about this, but I'm not sure if you'd understand my world at all. I'm not a musician/artist. I work with the public and come across hundreds+ people everyday. I have a stage then, but that's not really the time or place to be charismatic and dynamic. The job does not call for that. Some of the people who work with me see something different. Of course, my personal life is different too. I'm not sure how you would even think about a situation like that! It would probably blow your mind. Not in a good way either!  As a music fan, I probably have a better sense of your world than mine since my work is decidedly unsexy! 

While I do like to joke around in my free time, it's not like I can be like that all the time. Certain situations can change my mood. I think I'm more consistent that most, but you can't expect CD-like consistency from me! I would apologize for that, but I am human! That's just the way it goes.

Oh well. While my corncob has wilted tonight (), I'm glad that we had BTT time! I'm not going to lie and say that this is the STI I was wanting tonight, but I'm glad you were able to speak your mind. While your situation is a bit strange, you'll certainly have my support if you're happy with it! My front door (not that one!) is always open for a chat!  

Having said that, it's way past my bedtime! I have important work to do tomorrow! Ok, we have a July 4th party at work. That's the important work! And, yes, I know it's still June. I didn't plan the party! Don't blame me! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It's okay. Unlike Beethoven (and perhaps like Neil Diamond), I'm all ears.  Ok, technically I'm using my eyes, but you get it! Tonight's posts are not very funny and certainly not sexy at all! What a disappointment to the people who come here for a laugh!
> 
> If you weren't happy, then I would certainly suggest that you reconsider what you look for in a partner! But you say you are happy. If that's the case, why worry? You'll know it if someone comes along and challenges that. Hopefully you'll be able to deal with the usual ups and downs that come with any healthy relationship though.
> 
> Maybe I'm wrong about this, but I'm not sure if you'd understand my world at all. I'm not a musician/artist. I work with the public and come across hundreds+ people everyday. I have a stage then, but that's not really the time or place to be charismatic and dynamic. The job does not call for that. Some of the people who work with me see something different. Of course, my personal life is different too. I'm not sure how you would even think about a situation like that! It would probably blow your mind. Not in a good way either!  As a music fan, I probably have a better sense of your world than mine since my work is decidedly unsexy!
> 
> While I do like to joke around in my free time, it's not like I can be like that all the time. Certain situations can change my mood. I think I'm more consistent that most, but you can't expect CD-like consistency from me! I would apologize for that, but I am human! That's just the way it goes.
> 
> Oh well. While my corncob has wilted tonight (), I'm glad that we had BTT time! I'm not going to lie and say that this is the STI I was wanting tonight, but I'm glad you were able to speak your mind. While your situation is a bit strange, you'll certainly have my support if you're happy with it! My front door (not that one!) is always open for a chat!
> 
> Having said that, it's way past my bedtime! I have important work to do tomorrow! Ok, we have a July 4th party at work. That's the important work! And, yes, I know it's still June. I didn't plan the party! Don't blame me! :lol:


Thanks for being understanding and supportive of my BTT posts! I appreciate your insightful responses to my bizarre orientation. I'm sorry that tonight's posts were not as sexy as my usual offerings. I'm sure that these threads wouldn't make for very good fantasy material!

I certainly understand about the lack of CD-type consistency in real people. That's the way that human beings are: different situations bring out different sides of our personalities. When it comes to friendships, I actually do enjoy getting to know all the diverse aspects of a person. But it's not something that turns me on sexually.

Your job sounds interesting and now you've gotten me intrigued about it. Hundreds of people every day? That's a lot of social interaction! It's a good thing that you're not expected to be charismatic the whole time; that could be pretty exhausting!

Have fun with your 4th of July party tomorrow!


----------



## JeffD

Klassik said:


> [*]I have scientific proof that Klassik will give Bettina more orgasms than Beethoven.


Ahhh, but are they counted, or weighed? I would surmise that a single Beethoven Symphony #3 could get one through a month of Prokofiev Symphony No. 5.


----------



## Totenfeier

Your Top Ten Orgasms of All Time (please provide video links)


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Yowza, yowza, yowza :d


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> Actually, humor is a desirable aspect. I'm a huge fan of humor, so you've definitely got that going for you! However, due to my autosexual orientation, you won't be getting into my panties!
> 
> Actually, I don't know exactly what the right word is for my orientation. Basically, I'm attracted to a man's public image or his works, but not to him as a whole person. For example: several years ago, I got a crush on a concert pianist (name withheld to protect the innocent!) I was attracted to his stage personality, his charismatic, dynamic style of performing. Thanks to the social circles that I was moving in, I was actually able to meet him, and soon we ended up going on a date.
> 
> CUE MASSIVE DISAPPOINTMENT! His behavior on the date was nothing like how he had acted on stage. Gone was the confident, flamboyant man whom I had admired from a distance. On the date, his behavior was awkward and insecure. I was no longer attracted to him. The demise of that budding relationship wasn't his fault. It was my fault for only being attracted to his onstage showmanship.
> 
> Wow, I'm totally using STI as my therapy thread. It's turned into BTT - Bettina's Therapy Thread. :lol:


*
"Well, sorry, I thought we had a good time."

*


----------



## Totenfeier

Vaneyes said:


> *
> "Well, sorry, I thought we had a good time."
> 
> *


And with that, the Internet has achieved its purpose. Nice knowing y'all. Last one out turn off the lights and lock up.


----------



## Klassik

Totenfeier said:


> Your Top Ten Orgasms of All Time (please provide video links)


Well, since you asked, I could make a Top Ten Klassik orgasms highlight reel! :devil:


----------



## Totenfeier

Klassik said:


> Well, since you asked, I could make a Top Ten Klassik orgasms highlight reel! :devil:


Well, I wasn't asking anyone in particular, but if your boat (excuse me, your cruise ship) floated...

"She's the largest moving object ever made by the hand of man in all history!"

(snerk)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Your job sounds interesting and now you've gotten me intrigued about it. Hundreds of people every day? That's a lot of social interaction! It's a good thing that you're not expected to be charismatic the whole time; that could be pretty exhausting!


It's really not that interesting! I can do it in my sleep, it's that easy for me. It's not something everyone has the skills to do, but it's not a problem for me. Working with the students is a breeze. They're easy. Working with other staff/faculty is much more difficult. I work with different departments so I get to hear a lot of political bickering and such. I'm very good at dealing with people's egos and motivating them towards some sort of shared goal. A lot of times I just use calmness and consistency to deal with people. Sometimes I put on a show. It just depends on what people want/need, but it's a lot more of the former than the latter. I could tell you more, but it's not for public consumption. Anyway, it's certainly not glorious work. Nobody dreams of doing this type of work when they are 6 years old like they would with music jobs or something, but I'm good at it and it gives me a solid paycheck every month.

There was a time, especially when I had several student workers working with/for me a couple years ago, where I did a lot of student mentoring. This can be a very rewarding thing, but it can be very depressing too! I had a couple of students from our high school program who I spent a lot of time with since they were my student workers. One had it all. Super intelligent, graduated from high school with an Associate's degree at the age of 17, had parents who made a lot of money, attractive, and so forth. She was an art student who got accepted into one of those fancy NYC art schools. Sounds good, right? Wrong. I've never been around someone so willfully stupid in my life. She was all for anything that would make her life even more shallow than it already was. She embraced racism, sexism, and all of that. This was after she graduated from our institution, but I heard she made her own ornate pro-Trump outfits. I can't even tell you how disappointing it still makes me to see this super talented person waste their tremendous talents and opportunities. I did what I could to try to get her to turn things around, but I can't fix stubbornly stupid people.

The other student had barely anything at all. Her parents were very poor (her dad was in jail at the time). She didn't even have a bed to sleep on at home. She's transgender (born male) and was transitioning at the time. She was good at school (or else she wouldn't have been in that program), but she's not as sharp as the other student. She may not always make the right decisions, but I'm very proud of the fact that she knows how to take care of herself and the people around her. She didn't have the money to continue her studies after she graduated from our institution, but she has a solid blue-collar job and it seems like she works hard and motivates the people around her (something I taught her to do). She still comes by to visit me every month or two. Anyway, something like that is rewarding, but I have to be honest in saying that it does not make up for the disappointment of the other student.



> I certainly understand about the lack of CD-type consistency in real people. That's the way that human beings are: different situations bring out different sides of our personalities. When it comes to friendships, I actually do enjoy getting to know all the diverse aspects of a person. But it's not something that turns me on sexually.


Trust me, there's nothing sexually appealing about certain aspects of every person. Everyone is annoying in some sort of way. Nevertheless, the good qualities of someone can far outweigh the negatives. If nothing else, the shared journey can be emotionally powerful and sexy in an indirect way.

I was thinking about something this morning. In many ways, I feel lucky to not have any sort of "sexy" talent like musical/entertainment talent. I'd rather have love from someone who has appreciation for the deeper, more hidden aspects of my personality. You're always discovering good things about people when the focus is on the more hidden, intimate things. Maybe I'm just odd like that though! Like musical tastes, to each their own I guess.


----------



## Klassik

Totenfeier said:


> Well, I wasn't asking anyone in particular, but if your boat (excuse me, your cruise ship) floated...
> 
> "She's the largest moving object ever made by the hand of man in all history!"
> 
> (snerk)


It's more like the Goodyear blimp!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It's really not that interesting! I can do it in my sleep, it's that easy for me. It's not something everyone has the skills to do, but it's not a problem for me. Working with the students is a breeze. They're easy. Working with other staff/faculty is much more difficult. I work with different departments so I get to hear a lot of political bickering and such. I'm very good at dealing with people's egos and motivating them towards some sort of shared goal. A lot of times I just use calmness and consistency to deal with people. Sometimes I put on a show. It just depends on what people want/need, but it's a lot more of the former than the latter. I could tell you more, but it's not for public consumption. Anyway, it's certainly not glorious work. Nobody dreams of doing this type of work when they are 6 years old like they would with music jobs or something, but I'm good at it and it gives me a solid paycheck every month.
> 
> There was a time, especially when I had several student workers working with/for me a couple years ago, where I did a lot of student mentoring. This can be a very rewarding thing, but it can be very depressing too! I had a couple of students from our high school program who I spent a lot of time with since they were my student workers. One had it all. Super intelligent, graduated from high school with an Associate's degree at the age of 17, had parents who made a lot of money, attractive, and so forth. She was an art student who got accepted into one of those fancy NYC art schools. Sounds good, right? Wrong. I've never been around someone so willfully stupid in my life. She was all for anything that would make her life even more shallow than it already was. She embraced racism, sexism, and all of that. This was after she graduated from our institution, but I heard she made her own ornate pro-Trump outfits. I can't even tell you how disappointing it still makes me to see this super talented person waste their tremendous talents and opportunities. I did what I could to try to get her to turn things around, but I can't fix stubbornly stupid people.
> 
> The other student had barely anything at all. Her parents were very poor (her dad was in jail at the time). She didn't even have a bed to sleep on at home. She's transgender (born male) and was transitioning at the time. She was good at school (or else she wouldn't have been in that program), but she's not as sharp as the other student. She may not always make the right decisions, but I'm very proud of the fact that she knows how to take care of herself and the people around her. She didn't have the money to continue her studies after she graduated from our institution, but she has a solid blue-collar job and it seems like she works hard and motivates the people around her (something I taught her to do). She still comes by to visit me every month or two. Anyway, something like that is rewarding, but I have to be honest in saying that it does not make up for the disappointment of the other student.
> 
> Trust me, there's nothing sexually appealing about certain aspects of every person. Everyone is annoying in some sort of way. Nevertheless, the good qualities of someone can far outweigh the negatives. If nothing else, the shared journey can be emotionally powerful and sexy in an indirect way.
> 
> I was thinking about something this morning. In many ways, I feel lucky to not have any sort of "sexy" talent like musical/entertainment talent. I'd rather have love from someone who has appreciation for the deeper, more hidden aspects of my personality. You're always discovering good things about people when the focus is on the more hidden, intimate things. Maybe I'm just odd like that though! Like musical tastes, to each their own I guess.


Your job actually does sound quite interesting. It must be very rewarding to get to know many different kinds of people, and to have the chance to help them develop their potential and resolve conflicts. I'm sorry to hear about that superficial, narrow-minded girl who wasn't willing to think beyond her stereotypical views. I've had similar experiences with piano students who refuse to behave respectfully. But the success stories, in my opinion, make it all worthwhile. Congratulations on your success story with the transgender woman who turned her life around!

Your job obviously requires a high degree of insight and people skills. It wouldn't be easy for most people! I agree with you, it is good to have a job where you can connect with people instead of putting on a stage performance. My own job as a piano teacher is somewhere in between...I work hard to develop personal bonds with my students, but there is also a performative aspect to teaching - with some students, I find that I get the best results when I act somewhat theatrical and entertaining.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> there is also a performative aspect to teaching - with some students, I find that I get the best results when I act somewhat theatrical and entertaining.


Yes, this is quite true. I do sometimes put on one hell of a show when working with the students. If you guys think I'm cocky here, you should see myself with some of the students. I'll tell them all kinds of stuff just to get them thinking differently from how they normally think. Sometimes I have to be outrageous just to get their attention. A lot of the stuff I say would get me fired from a public K-12 school too, but I have more freedom here. It's not as dirty as the stuff I write here, but in some ways it's way worse (F-bombs and stuff like that)! :lol:

But, of course, I can't be that way with all students. My default mode is to be very quiet and conservative until I know that the student can handle it. While I still deal with hundreds of students each day, my conversations with them these days are usually pretty short and to the point. I was asked to take on a new task a couple of years back (with a raise) based on some of my prior successes. My deeper conversations are more with staff than students these days. I'm okay with it, but I'm not as bombastic with staff as I am with students. Most of them are older than I am (sometimes much more so, a good number of our employees are near retirement age) and so the methods I use with students don't always work well with staff.


----------



## Woodduck

Why don't you just exchange phone numbers and talk, or text, or whatever it is that youngsters do nowadays?


----------



## Klassik

Woodduck said:


> Why don't you just exchange phone numbers and talk, or text, or whatever it is that youngsters do nowadays?


You have not heard? The latest trend is for kids to have open relationships on classical music forums. C'mon man, get with it! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Woodduck said:


> Why don't you just exchange phone numbers and talk, or text, or whatever it is that youngsters do nowadays?


The whole conversation started as a series of sex jokes and gradually morphed into something more serious and therapeutic! I suppose that Klassik and I should supplement this public dialogue with some private messages, but I'd hate to give up the exhibitionistic thrill of baring my soul on TC (even if almost no one is reading this thread any more!) :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> The whole conversation started as a series of sex jokes and gradually morphed into something more serious and therapeutic! I suppose that Klassik and I should supplement this public dialogue with some private messages, but I'd hate to give up the exhibitionistic thrill of baring my soul on TC (even if almost no one is reading this thread any more!) :lol:


Yeah, Bettina is "enjoying" Beethoven's music! Her listening style might be a bit strange, but it is classical music! :lol: Whatever I'm mumbling about probably deserves to go in a private message or in the trash can though!


----------



## millionrainbows

OK, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

*Schoenberg's Serial Relationships

Webern: Take Those Glasses Off! And the Pants...

Berg: Sexiest of the New Vienna School? Those Dreamy eyes!

Speaking of the New Vienna School: Vienna Sausages

Iannis Xenakis: I had to put a sack over his head before I could do him!

Pierre Boulez: He Just Wanted to Watch

Rachmanninoff: You Know What They Say About Big Hands

My "inversion" experience with Milton Babbitt, and other positions

Bartok: Kinky, kinky, and he likes to drink blood!*


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> Speaking of the New Vienna School: Vienna Sausages





Klassik said:


> :lol:


Seems about right!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Which polarizing composer brings out the best in folks?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Sometime soon it will be my 999th post, which if you go retrograde inversion will be SATAN! Which black metal band do you want me to spam all over? :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Which polarizing composer brings out the best in folks?


Wagner, clearly! :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Actually Wagner is a composer I avoid as much as I can  I even like some of it but know only a thousandth of...Also Satie is like that for me. Wagner and Satie, bla bla


----------



## millionrainbows

HA ha! Stupid thread ideas are STOOPID!


----------



## millionrainbows

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Which polarizing composer brings out the best in folks?


I've been listening to a lot of John Cage lately...maybe that's why my hair is going sideways...polarized....but I see no glare. I feel really positive, too, not negative...I've got my ion you...


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Actually Wagner is a composer I avoid as much as I can  I even like some of it but know only a thousandth of...Also Satie is like that for me. Wagner and Satie, bla bla


Makes sense. Wagner had his antisemitism and Satie was racist against non-white food.


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> I've been listening to a lot of John Cage lately...maybe that's why my hair is going sideways...polarized....but I see no glare. I feel really positive, too, not negative...I've got my ion you...


So have I. I put in these wireless headphones and now I'm having a blissful listening experience!


----------



## millionrainbows

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Sometime soon it will be my 999th post, which if you go retrograde inversion will be SATAN! Which black metal band do you want me to spam all over? :devil:


You beast! Who's your handler? Actually, your 999th post is an all-interval set; it keeps its identity under retrograde...so I look forward to a very system-integrated, pervasive, symmetrical composition to come out of this.

Now, back to thread business:

*Bettina and Klassic discuss their private parts in this exciting, 5-page-long expose...you've never seen them like this! Yes, they're back, and wackier than ever!
*


----------



## millionrainbows

Klassik said:


> So have I. I put in these wireless headphones and now I'm having a blissful listening experience!


You should try sticking a couple of Vienna sausages in your ears...


----------



## millionrainbows

Klassik said:


> Makes sense. Wagner had his antisemitism and Satie was racist against non-white food.


Wagner wouldn't have liked David Lee Roth...


----------



## Klassik

millionrainbows said:


> You should try sticking a couple of Vienna sausages in your ears...


Maybe this was Beethoven's problem all along? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> You should try sticking a couple of Vienna sausages in your ears...


Hey, I never realized that I had two extra holes to play with! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> You beast! Who's your handler? Actually, your 999th post is an all-interval set; it keeps its identity under retrograde...so I look forward to a very system-integrated, pervasive, symmetrical composition to come out of this.
> 
> Now, back to thread business:
> 
> *Bettina and Klassic discuss their private parts in this exciting, 5-page-long expose...you've never seen them like this! Yes, they're back, and wackier than ever!
> *


Thanks for the dramatic headline. You're an excellent PR agent!


----------



## Klassik

STI: Have you ever had sex with a fruit or vegetable?

I suppose fruit and vegetable have multiple meanings! Having sex with Beethoven in 2017 could count as having sex with a vegetable. Having sex with Tchaikovsky when he was alive...well...you know where this is going!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> STI: Have you ever had sex with a fruit or vegetable?
> 
> I suppose fruit and vegetable have multiple meanings! Having sex with Beethoven in 2017 could count as having sex with a vegetable. Having sex with Tchaikovsky when he was alive...well...you know where this is going!


Vegetable in the necrophilia sense - no, I've never done that (I'd rather go back in time and get the living Ludwig). But vegetable in the _produce _sense - well, let's just say that I plead the fifth (in other words, I listen to the Fifth Symphony while using a cucumber!) :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The whole conversation started as a series of sex jokes and gradually morphed into something more serious and therapeutic! I suppose that Klassik and I should supplement this public dialogue with some private messages, but I'd hate to give up the exhibitionistic thrill of baring my soul on TC (even if almost no one is reading this thread any more!) :lol:


Go for it!! :clap:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Vegetable in the necrophilia sense - no, I've never done that (I'd rather go back in time and get the living Ludwig). But vegetable in the _produce _sense - well, let's just say that I plead the fifth (in other words, I listen to the Fifth Symphony while using a cucumber!) :lol:


 That sounds like a pickle of a situation! Well, let's just say that I can really put the (insert three letters from the middle of the word cucumber) in a cucumber!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> *That sounds like a pickle of a situation! *Well, let's just say that I can really put the (insert three letters from the middle of the word cucumber) in a cucumber!


That would be an interesting way to make pickles! I guess if I left it in long enough... :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Go for it!! :clap:


You just like it when Bettina "squashes" my dreams!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The whole conversation started as a series of sex jokes and gradually morphed into something more serious and therapeutic! I suppose that Klassik and I should supplement this public dialogue with some private messages, but I'd hate to give up the exhibitionistic thrill of baring my soul on TC (even if almost no one is reading this thread any more!) :lol:


Very nice. U 2 can play 4-handed Schubert piano works, late into the night.


----------



## Klassik

STI: Do you consider the show VeggieTales to be a porno?

True story: I don't know if this was a gift given to me or my brother, but someone gave us a stuffed pickle as a present when we were very young.  Seriously, a stuffed pickle?  This was long before VeggieTales.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Very nice. U 2 can play 4-handed Schubert piano works, late into the night.


I don't do duets much any more! Nowadays I prefer being a soloist, performing Sonatas for Cucumber and *****.


----------



## hpowders

Travel Ban Modification:

"Persons on your TC Friends' List cannot be banned from visiting you, no matter which country they come from."


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I don't do duets much any more! Nowadays I prefer being a soloist, performing Sonatas for Cucumber and *****.


How can you do duets? Duets aren't persons, animals or even flowers.

One would have to be pretty desperate to do duets. Debbie doing Dallas....perfectly comprehensible.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You just like it when Bettina "squashes" my dreams!


You seem to have "squashes" confused with "fulfills". I want the best for her.

You know another couple got married through TC, Wood and Figleaf. True!! Two Brits.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> You seem to have "squashes" confused with "fulfills". I want the best for her.
> 
> You know another couple got married through TC, Wood and Figleaf. True!! Two Brits.


No, squash is actually the right word. I feel bad about it, but that is exactly what ended up happening. I informed Klassik that I prefer to fly solo while thinking about Beethoven, Neil Diamond, Liszt and Bernstein.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I don't do duets much any more! Nowadays I prefer being a soloist, performing Sonatas for Cucumber and *****.


I knew I shoulda paid for a TC Premium Membership. Those guys never see ***** and if I join, they won't do retro *****-elimination. I will never, ever know what they stand for.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I knew I shoulda paid for a TC Premium Membership. Those guys never see ***** and if I join, they won't do retro *****-elimination. I will never, ever know what they stand for.


Here's an analogy to help you figure it out. CD is to CD player as cucumber is to *****.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No, squash is actually the right word. I feel bad about it, but that is exactly what ended up happening. I informed Klassik that I prefer to fly solo while thinking about Beethoven, Neil Diamond, Liszt and Bernstein.


Yes, squash! I'm not sure which squash, maybe zucchini?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You just like it when Bettina "squashes" my dreams!


Commear cute cumber. Poor baby!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yes, squash! I'm not sure which squash, maybe zucchini?


Yeah, I think that's the only one with the right shape. I'm certainly not going to stuff a pumpkin in there! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

They say that the produce department is a great place to meet a potential partner. I think Bettina put an interesting twist on advice!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> They say that the produce department is a great place to meet a potential partner. I think Bettina put an interesting twist on advice!


Yes, when I'm in the mood for a hot date, I stop by my local CD shop and then the grocery store! :lol:


----------



## JeffD

So I just watched/listened to Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 conducted by Leonard Bernstein. Found here.

And it became apparent to me that Bettina is correct. Entirely. I cannot think of any real flesh and blood person who would ever be able to live up to the fantasy of either Beethoven, or Bernstein. But both...! A real suitor trying to compete would be like climbing onto the roof to get closer to the moon. OMG

With that as the competition there is nothing that a mere man in a finite space and time could possibly do. We never had a chance, and I now understand, we never should have had a chance.


----------



## Bettina

Poll: How would you describe Bettina's sexual orientation?

1. She falls in love with dead guys
2. She flirts with men on TC and then breaks their hearts
3. She's turned on by cucumbers and CDs
4. All of the above


----------



## hpowders

One and three.

You assume men have hearts. Big mistake!


----------



## Klassik

#4, clearly!

I still would have been happier if she told me she was washing her hair. I would have been easier to accept that. She could have said that she was using this shampoo even:










Though I wouldn't have believed it if she mentioned that shampoo. The bottle isn't shaped well enough for, well, you know...


----------



## Vaneyes

Your favorite movement? In your archives, your last, your next, can't remember, don't care.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> One and three.
> 
> You assume men have hearts. Big mistake!


OK, I probably should have written d**** instead of hearts. But then I might get banned! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> One and three.
> 
> You assume men have hearts. Big mistake!


Of course we have hearts. What else pumps our blood to our corndogs? We'd just have Vienna Sausages without a heart! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> OK, I probably should have written d**** instead of hearts. But then I might get banned! :devil:


I just PM'd someone with a TC Premium membership and he told me you wrote d****. Wow!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Of course we have hearts. What else pumps our blood to our corndogs? We'd just have Vienna Sausages without a heart! :lol:


I can turn it on and off at will. Part of my testosterone.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I can turn it on and off at will. Part of my testosterone.


Wait, it can be turned off?


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Your favorite movement? In your archives, your last, your next, can't remember, don't care.


When rich Uncle Joe signed me into his will, just before expiring.


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> So I just watched/listened to Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 conducted by Leonard Bernstein. Found here.
> 
> And it became apparent to me that Bettina is correct. Entirely. I cannot think of any real flesh and blood person who would ever be able to live up to the fantasy of either Beethoven, or Bernstein. But both...! A real suitor trying to compete would be like climbing onto the roof to get closer to the moon. OMG
> 
> With that as the competition there is nothing that a mere man in a finite space and time could possibly do. We never had a chance, and I now understand, we never should have had a chance.


100% correct!! You totally get it. Even Ludwig and Lenny themselves wouldn't be able to live up to their greatest works/performances on a consistent basis. Why settle for a real man when I can have a CD and a cucumber?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Wait, it can be turned off?


Damn right!! It's a jungle out there. A man has to protect himself from ever getting emotionally involved.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Damn right!!


This is part of the wedding gifts, right? Kind of like the Salad Shooter?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> #4, clearly!
> 
> I still would have been happier if she told me she was washing her hair. I would have been easier to accept that. She could have said that she was using this shampoo even:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Though I wouldn't have believed it if she mentioned that shampoo. The bottle isn't shaped well enough for, well, you know...


You want me to put that WHERE? That could lead to an emergency room trip, and just think how embarrassing that would be! "Doc, I was watching a video of Bernstein conducting Beethoven's Ninth, and then I inserted this shampoo bottle..."  :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> This is part of the wedding gifts, right? Kind of like the Salad Shooter?


Sure. You must hold Bach. These things never work out.


----------



## hpowders

You are happy for 1/2 hour and then the rest of your life, it's a gradual diminuendo...diminishing returns.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Sure. You must hold Bach. These things never work out.


Don't worry, any chance of emotional attachment was out the window when she mentioned Neil Diamond. I was just looking to butter my corncob after that!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Don't worry, any chance of emotional attachment was out the window when she mentioned Neil Diamond. I was just looking to butter my corncob after that!


I'm younger than Neil Diamond, but he's okay. Anyway, the only possible way to stay together over the long term is get a house with at least three bedrooms and 2300 square feet so you hardly ever run into each other.

So when can I expect the blessed event? :clap:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Don't worry, any chance of emotional attachment was out the window when she mentioned Neil Diamond. I was just looking to butter my corncob after that!


So you were OK with me loving the dead Ludwig, but my love for Neil was a deal-breaker?  I'll never understand how men think!! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I'm younger than Neil Diamond and yes, that's a turnoff. Anyway, the only possible way to stay together over the long term is get a house with at least three bedrooms and 2300 square feet so you hardly ever run into each other.
> 
> So when can I expect the blessed event?


Come to Texas. We don't have houses under 2,300 sq. feet. Well, except for mobile homes, but this is not relevant to our discussion!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> So you were OK with me loving the dead Ludwig, but my love for Neil was a deal-breaker?  I'll never understand how *men think*!! :lol:


You are simply giving us too much credit!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Come to Texas. We don't have houses under 2,300 sq. feet. Well, except for mobile homes, but this is not relevant to our discussion!


I have a friend in San Antonio. We were both kids in Brooklyn.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Hey, Banana! Whazzap?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'm younger than Neil Diamond, but he's okay. Anyway, the only possible way to stay together over the long term is get a house with at least three bedrooms and 2300 square feet so you hardly ever run into each other.
> 
> So when can I expect the blessed event? :clap:


I don't think it would work. Klassik would get annoyed when he hears "Sweet Caroline" every night, accompanied by my moans! Pretty soon, Klassik would be singing "bad times never seemed so bad." :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> So you were OK with me loving the dead Ludwig, but my love for Neil was a deal-breaker?  I'll never understand how men think!! :lol:


Sure, why not? I actually like Beethoven's music. I wouldn't want to sleep with him, but that's not exactly something I'm worried about. As for you liking dead people, well, your opinion would have changed if you gave Klassik's Klassik a try! Just sayin'! 

You want to know the honest truth? You want to know why I was so out of it and tired that one night (Tuesday I guess)? It's because I listened to that Neil Diamond CD in the car on the way home! :lol: That almost made me as comatose as Beethoven's current state! Neil almost killed me! I could have fallen asleep at the wheel and rammed into a barrier on I-69 (which could actually happen in Houston, I-69 runs through town )!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I don't think it would work. Klassik would get annoyed when he hears "Sweet Caroline" every night, accompanied by my moans! Pretty soon, Klassik would be singing "bad times never seemed so bad." :lol:


:lol::lol::lol:

There's always over the ear headphones!!! Nothing like wedded bliss!!! :angel:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Sure, why not? I actually like Beethoven's music. I wouldn't want to sleep with him, but that's not exactly something I'm worried about. As for you liking dead people, well, your opinion would have changed if you gave Klassik's Klassik a try! Just sayin'!
> 
> You want to know the honest truth? You want to know why I was so out of it and tired that one night (Tuesday I guess)? It's because I listened to that Neil Diamond CD in the car on the way home! :lol: That almost made me as comatose as Beethoven's current state! Neil almost killed me! I could have fallen asleep at the wheel and rammed into a barrier on I-69 (which could actually happen in Houston, I-69 runs through town )!


Well, at least now you've found a cure for insomnia! :lol: :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I don't think it would work. Klassik would get annoyed when he hears "Sweet Caroline" every night, accompanied by my moans! Pretty soon, Klassik would be singing "bad times never seemed so bad." :lol:


It wouldn't have been a problem. I would have worn earplugs! It would have all been part of giving you the Beethoven experience! (I still wouldn't have hung roadkill around my neck for the authentic aroma though )!


----------



## Bettina

True confession: when I saw the Saturday Symphony thread, "Diamond #4," my first thought was "I didn't know that Neil had written a symphony." :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Well, at least now you've found a cure for insomnia! :lol: :lol:


But I already have CDs of solo piano music!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> But I already have CDs of solo piano music!


See, that's another reason why our marriage wouldn't work out. I spend a lot of time practicing solo piano pieces, and you wouldn't like it.*

*This is NOT an innuendo...get your minds out of the gutter, you horndogs!! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> See, that's another reason why our marriage wouldn't work out. I spend a lot of time practicing solo piano pieces, and you wouldn't like it.*
> 
> *This is NOT an innuendo...get your minds out of the gutter, you horndogs!! :lol:


It wouldn't have been a problem. If you're practicing the piano, you wouldn't be available for, well, you know!  Well, I suppose you could be if you're a real multi-tasker. In that case, I would have been fine with the piano! But, anyway, since you wouldn't be available, I might as well sleep. What else am I going to do? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

A look at the top posters for the last 28 days yields a very interesting finding!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> A look at the top posters for the last 28 days yields a very interesting finding!
> 
> View attachment 95638


Are you implying that I'm the devil in disguise? Or that I've sold my p**** to the devil? :devil: :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Are you implying that I'm the devil in disguise? Or that I've sold my p**** to the devil? :devil: :lol:


The former! We know you sold your front door to the Jolly Green Giant!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> The former! We know you sold your front door to the Jolly Green Giant!


Well, I certainly am horny enough to be a devil!


----------



## JeffD

Back in the day there were girls who were way into Neil Diamond, and there were girls who were way into Neil Young. And you only had one chance to get it right. (OK some girls were into James Taylor, but whatever).


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Well, I certainly am horny enough to be a devil!


You'll have to speak louder, the cucumber is even more deaf than Beethoven! 



JeffD said:


> Back in the day there were girls who were way into Neil Diamond, and there were girls who were way into Neil Young. And you only had one chance to get it right. (OK some girls were into James Taylor, but whatever).


Some girls were into Barry Manilow. None of those girls got it right! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

STI: Who are the top 10 horniest posters on TC?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> STI: Who are the top 10 horniest posters on TC?


I think you and I are tied for first place!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think you and I are tied for first place!


I think it goes without saying! :devil:

Do you ever feel like we've set a bad example for TC? Ok, that's a rhetorical question, I know your answer to that question! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I think it goes without saying! :devil:
> 
> Do you ever feel like we've set a bad example for TC? Ok, that's a rhetorical question, I know your answer to that question! :lol:


Actually I think we're setting a good example. We're showing the world that classical music is hot n' sexy!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Actually I think we're setting a good example. We're showing the world that classical music is hot n' sexy!


Good news: We're dismissing the notion that we're a bunch of uptight people who can't have fun
Bad news: We're proving to be even more crazy than classic rock fans! 

:lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Good news: We're dismissing the notion that we're a bunch of uptight people who can't have fun
> Bad news: We're proving to be even more crazy than classic rock fans!
> 
> :lol:


Very true! But classical music has always been crazy, and it's too bad that most people don't realize that. I mean, Mozart wrote a song about his a**, and Wagner wore pink satin underwear!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Very true! But classical music has always been crazy, and it's too bad that most people don't realize that. I mean, Mozart wrote a song about his a**, and Wagner wore pink satin underwear!


Do you know who I blame for the "legs closed" perception of classical music? Beethoven! Bach clearly loved his sheet time. Mozart the same. Then, no fun Beethoven came along and changed things!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Do you know who I blame for the "legs closed" perception of classical music? Beethoven! Bach clearly loved his sheet time. Mozart the same. Then, no fun Beethoven came along and changed things!


It's not Beethoven's fault that he couldn't get any! He wanted to have fun sexy times with a girlfriend, but all those shallow ladies rejected him. Blame it on the stupid girls who couldn't recognize greatness if it hit them in the face.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It's not Beethoven's fault that he couldn't get any! He wanted to have fun sexy times with a girlfriend, but all those shallow ladies rejected him. Blame it on the stupid girls who couldn't recognize greatness if it hit them in the face.


He should have kept on trying! I thought that's what musicians do, keep on trying! Poor Beethoven. Klassik knows how he feels...well, I can take a good poop at least...but I keep trying! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> He should have kept on trying! I thought that's what musicians do, keep on trying! Poor Beethoven. Klassik knows how he feels...well, I can take a good poop at least...but I keep trying! :lol:


Back then, it was harder to keep trying, because the internet didn't exist yet. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Back then, it was harder to keep trying, because the internet didn't exist yet. :lol:


Schumann kept trying! Men, women, it didn't matter to him!  It paid off in the end. Well, kind of! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

So it seems that Jay Z has a new album and song called 4:44. I can only assume that 4'33" is better, right?


----------



## Bettina

That moment when "classical music sampler set" turned into "would Bettina seduce Tchaikovsky..." :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Pole Idea: Who has it better when it comes to self-touching, men or women? Men have something to show for their work...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That moment when "classical music sampler set" turned into "would Bettina seduce Tchaikovsky..." :lol:


It was bound to happen. And it need to happen! I still can't listen to the Sabre Dance! Tchaikovsky needs to get back on the right side! :lol:

I guess I'll just add it to the list of things Bettina has ruined for ole' Klassik!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Stupid Pole Idea: Who has it better when it comes to self-touching, men or women? Men have something to show for their work...


Yeah, but women can have multiple orgasms. When I get going with my fingers, cucumber, and Bernstein DVD of the Ninth ("Freiheit! Freiheit!"), I'm unstoppable! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, but women can have multiple orgasms. When I get going with my fingers, cucumber, and Bernstein DVD of the Ninth ("Freiheit! Freiheit!"), I'm unstoppable! :lol:


Men can too. All you have to do is empty the tank first. After that, you can keep going for a long time before soreness sets in! 

Or so I've been told...

...Ok, who am I kidding! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Men can too. All you have to do is empty the tank first. After that, you can keep going for a long time before soreness sets in!
> 
> Or so I've been told...
> 
> ...Ok, who am I kidding! :lol:


Is this true or is it a joke? I have to admit, I never noticed if men had multiple orgasms. When I have sex, I don't pay much attention to anything like that...I'm too busy pretending that my partner is composing and conducting a symphony!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Is this true or is it a joke? I have to admit, I never noticed if men had multiple orgasms. When I have sex, I don't pay much attention to anything like that...I'm too busy pretending that my partner is composing and conducting a symphony!


Are you doubting me on this subject? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Are you doubting me on this subject? :lol:


No, I do believe you, but I'm confused about how it works. So nothing comes out after the first time, but you get the feeling of an orgasm anyway?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No, I do believe you, but I'm confused about how it works. So nothing comes out after the first time, but you get the feeling of an orgasm anyway?


Why are we talking about this? :lol:

What I'm saying is that it's possible to have an orgasm/ejac and keep going after that and have it happen again. Well, at least I can. I won't speak for any other man and I doubt anyone else will contribute to this conversation!

I hope you're enjoying this conversation!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Why are we talking about this? :lol:
> 
> What I'm saying is that it's possible to have an orgasm/ejac and keep going after that and have it happen again. Well, at least I can. I won't speak for any other man and I doubt anyone else will contribute to this conversation!
> 
> I hope you're enjoying this conversation!


OK, thanks for the info. Sorry if I was interrogating you too much.  I always enjoy reading TMI stuff!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> OK, thanks for the info. Sorry if I was interrogating you too much.  I always enjoy reading TMI stuff!


You're really "rubbing it" in tonight, aren't you?


----------



## Bettina

Poll: who derailed the classical sampler thread?

1. AfterHours, because he asked Bettina if she was cheating on Ludwig
2. Klassik, because he replied that Bettina could turn Peter straight
3. Bettina, because she said that Peter could use her back door
4. The thread was doomed as soon as Bettina posted her sampler list


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Poll: who derailed the classical sampler thread?
> 
> 1. AfterHours, because he asked Bettina if she was cheating on Ludwig
> 2. Klassik, because he replied that Bettina could turn Peter straight
> 3. Bettina, because she said that Peter could use her back door
> 4. The thread was doomed as soon as Bettina posted her sampler list


Holey moly!  4, but we all know I'll get blamed for it! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Holey moly!  4, but we all know I'll get blamed for it! :lol:


I think AfterHours is mostly to blame, so I'm voting for 1. I innocently posted my list with no thoughts of front and back doors - and then he introduced the topic of my "relationship" with Ludwig. That opened the door, so to speak, for lots of naughty talk!


----------



## Klassik

I'm re-reading the thread! I wasn't even the one who broached the idea of Bettina turning Tchaikovsky straight! My hands are clean! Well...they're not dirty because of that thread! :lol:



Bettina said:


> Poll: who derailed the classical sampler thread?
> 
> 1. AfterHours, because he asked Bettina if she was cheating on Ludwig
> 2. Klassik, because he replied that Bettina could turn Peter straight
> 3. Bettina, because she said that *Peter could use her back door*
> 4. The thread was doomed as soon as Bettina posted her sampler list


Peter, huh? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think AfterHours is mostly to blame, so I'm voting for 1. I innocently posted my list with no thoughts of front and back doors - and then he introduced the topic of my "relationship" with Ludwig. That opened the door, so to speak, for lots of naughty talk!


I like the way you think! We'll blame AfterHours even though he "opened the door" for some good comedy!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'm re-reading the thread! I wasn't even the one who broached the idea of Bettina turning Tchaikovsky straight! My hands are clean! Well...they're not dirty because of that thread! :lol:
> 
> Peter, huh? :lol:


Yeah, I think AfterHours is to blame for this one. Prior to his posts, I had not given any thought to Peter's Peter! Now I can't get it out of my head... :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I think AfterHours is to blame for this one. Prior to his posts, I had not given any thought to Peter's Peter! Now I can't get it out of my head... :lol:


The 1812 Overture would be fantastic love making music, wouldn't it? Well, not the version with the children's chorus of course!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> The 1812 Overture would be fantastic love making music, wouldn't it? Well, not the version with the children's chorus of course!


Yeah, those cannon shots are highly suggestive! Of course, we all know where Peter liked to shoot his cannon, but that doesn't stop me from fantasizing about him.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, those cannon shots are highly suggestive! Of course, we all know where Peter liked to shoot his cannon, but that doesn't stop me from fantasizing about him.


You have to rank Tchaikovsky above Brahms now, yes?

What about a three-way with Boris Tchaikovsky? :lol:

True confession time: I do consider Tchaikovsky's Romeo & Juliet Fantasy Overture to be my favorite romantic music. Not in a sexual way, but just in a general way. What's your favorite Fantasy Overture?


----------



## Bettina

Now it's time for my true confession: I have never heard a single note by Boris Tchaikovsky. I have no idea if his music is front-door-worthy, back-door-worthy, or simply not worthy at all!

The Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture is indeed a steamy piece! I can't think of any other Fantasy Overtures, so I guess that's my favorite by default.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Now it's time for my true confession: I have never heard a single note by Boris Tchaikovsky. I have no idea if his music is front-door-worthy, back-door-worthy, or simply not worthy at all!
> 
> The Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture is indeed a steamy piece! I can't think of any other Fantasy Overtures, so I guess that's my favorite by default.


Tchaikovsky's Hamlet is also a fantasy overture. I don't know if there are others.

I kind of refuse to listen to Boris Tchaikovsky due to the hilarity of his name. I can't take him seriously. It would be one thing if he was related to Peter, but he isn't! What's up with that? I know I'm in the wrong, but he probably sucks anyway. Well, Peter would approve of him sucking at least.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Now it's time for my true confession: I have never heard a single note by Boris Tchaikovsky. I have no idea if his music is front-door-worthy, back-door-worthy, or simply not worthy at all!
> 
> The Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture is indeed a steamy piece! I can't think of any other Fantasy Overtures, so I guess that's my favorite by default.


Neither has anyone outside of his Thanksgiving table.


----------



## hpowders

TC Instruction Section:

Someone brought up using PM's among members.

Is it hard to do? Will I need to take a course? Who should I PM?

I'm thinking of using PM's when the forum becomes too polarizing.


----------



## hpowders

Concerto for welder and string orchestra by Welding Association of New Jersey.

Riveting!!!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Tchaikovsky's Hamlet is also a fantasy overture. I don't know if there are others.
> 
> I kind of refuse to listen to Boris Tchaikovsky due to the hilarity of his name. I can't take him seriously. It would be one thing if he was related to Peter, but he isn't! What's up with that? I know I'm in the wrong, but he probably sucks anyway. *Well, Peter would approve of him sucking at least. *


That would make a hot porno film for classical music lovers! The Two Tchaikovskys, Op. 69.


----------



## hpowders

Musical & Other Eruptions

And they call me Vesuvius. What do they call you and why?


----------



## millionrainbows

STI=Sexy Thread Ideas? Nahhh, because sex is stupid anyway.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I think AfterHours is to blame for this one. Prior to his posts, I had not given any thought to *Peter's* *Peter!* Now I can't get it out of my head... :lol:


Remember: repetition is your friend.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Everything Is A Metaphor For Sex, Part Seventeen

Sartre's Being and Nothingness: Poles and Holes

Beethoven's Ninth: Ode to the Joy of Sex

Schoenberg: Five Easy Pieces for Orchestra

Gregorian Chant: What's Going On Beneath Those Robes?

Wagner's Extended Tonality and Techniques for Delaying Male Orgasm

Minimalism and Driving Repetition: Sexy!

Bruckner and Mahler: Length is Everything

Penetrating Brahms

Does Wearing Silk Underwear Increase the Appreciation of Mozart?

Cross-Dressing While Listening to Vladimir Horowitz: A Show of Solidarity

*


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That would make a hot porno film for classical music lovers! The Two Tchaikovskys, Op. 69.


They could make an audio recording of this symphony, but it would sound muffled due to all the pillow biting! 



millionrainbows said:


> Beethoven's Ninth: Ode to the Joy of Sex


I've tried to perform this symphony, but noooooooo!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Tchaikovsky's Hamlet is also a fantasy overture. I don't know if there are others.
> 
> I kind of refuse to listen to Boris Tchaikovsky due to the hilarity of his name. I can't take him seriously. It would be one thing if he was related to Peter, but he isn't! What's up with that? I know I'm in the wrong, but he probably sucks anyway. Well, Peter would approve of him sucking at least.


Boris? Karloff, yes. Tchaikovsky, nyet.


----------



## Klassik

STI based on modified real comments on the main forum: Agree or disagree? I find alot, not all, of Talk Classical posters are often more pompous, overly noble and sometimes it has alot of wankery in it.

Pompous? Overly noble? Lots of wankery? Sounds like STI! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

I gave a wine & cheese/Bruckner challenge party, but nobody showed up. I invited all the females in my neighborhood.

Advice for next time??


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I gave a wine & cheese/Bruckner challenge party, but nobody showed up. I invited all the females in my neighborhood.
> 
> Advice for next time??


Next time, try a Tchaikovsky party, and invite all the men! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I gave a wine & cheese/Bruckner challenge party, but nobody showed up. *I invited all the females in my neighborhood.
> *
> Advice for next time??


Invite Klassik next time? I'm sure that will get all the women! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

TC's most admired composers: Round 209:

Okay. Looks like it's going to be between Schoenberg and Bruckner, just as I predicted when round one began in September, 1957.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Next time, try a Tchaikovsky party, and invite all the men! :lol:


So I should cross his PM'er, Madame von Meck, off the list?


----------



## Klassik

Poll: Why is TC so slow today?

A. Klassik posted nude photos of himself on the site
B. Bettina posted nude photos of herself on the site
C. hpowders posted nude photos of himself on the site
D. Beethoven's ghost posted nude photos of himself on the site


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> So I should cross his PM'er, Madame von Meck, off the list?


She wouldn't want to come anyway...she actually said that she didn't want to meet Tchaikovsky, because she might be disappointed. That's exactly how I feel about my love interests - that's why I go for dead men!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> She wouldn't want to come anyway...she actually said that she didn't want to meet Tchaikovsky, because she might be disappointed. That's exactly how I feel about my love interests - that's why I go for dead men!


Sorry to disappoint you!!! :lol::lol::lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> She wouldn't want to come anyway...she actually said that she didn't want to meet Tchaikovsky, because she might be disappointed. That's exactly how I feel about my love interests - that's why I go for dead men!


There's no chance of Klassik disappointing...especially compared to a dead man! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Poll: Why is TC so slow today?
> 
> A. Klassik posted nude photos of himself on the site
> B. Bettina posted nude photos of herself on the site
> C. hpowders posted nude photos of himself on the site
> D. Beethoven's ghost posted nude photos of himself on the site


Yeah. It's been super slow all day.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> So I should cross his PM'er, Madame von Meck, off the list?


She wouldn't want to come anyway...she actually said that she didn't want to meet Tchaikovsky, because she might be disappointed. That's exactly how I feel about my love interests - that's why I go for dead men!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> She wouldn't want to come anyway...she actually said that she didn't want to meet Tchaikovsky, because she might be disappointed. That's exactly how I feel about my love interests - that's why I go for dead men!


Déjà Vu! You just wanted that for the diacritics, huh? 

This site is more clogged up right now than a toilet when a woman flushes a tampon down it...Bettina, I'm looking at you!:lol:


----------



## Granate

Klassik said:


> Poll: Why is TC so slow today?
> 
> A. Klassik posted nude photos of himself on the site
> B. Bettina posted nude photos of herself on the site
> C. hpowders posted nude photos of himself on the site
> D. Beethoven's ghost posted nude photos of himself on the site


E. Granate has been updating all the Bruckner challenge posts plus all his edited covers and TC cannot cope with so many pictures and long lists with numbers and Century Gothic style.


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> E. Granate has been updating all the Bruckner challenge posts plus all his edited covers and TC cannot cope with so many pictures and long lists with numbers and Century Gothic style.


Keep me informed!


----------



## Klassik

Granate said:


> E. Granate has been updating all the Bruckner challenge posts plus all his edited covers and TC cannot cope with so many pictures and long lists with numbers and Century Gothic style.


Oh, ok. Well, as long as you didn't post nude photos of Bruckner...:lol:


----------



## hpowders

The slowness of the site is:

1. Ruining my timing!

2. Creating a polarizing experience!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> The slowness of the site is:
> 
> 1. Ruining my timing!
> 
> 2. Creating a polarizing experience!


Well, you can't have a pole-rizing experience if your timing is off!  Oh, wait...:lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Oh, ok. Well, as long as you didn't post nude photos of Bruckner...:lol:


If you could even find one.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, you can't have a pole-rizing experience if your timing is off!  Oh, wait...:lol:


I was complaining as an innocent poster of potentially worthy material.

This slowness can stifle my motivation.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Déjà Vu! You just wanted that for the diacritics, huh?
> 
> This site is more clogged up right now than a toilet when a woman flushes a tampon down it...Bettina, I'm looking at you!:lol:


Oh no! I double-posted! I must have been pressing the button multiple times (sounds like my approach to self-pleasuring)...


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> If you could even find one.


Bruckner seemed like someone who participated in a nudist colony of monks or something. Photographic evidence may exist, but I'm certainly not looking for it! I'd rather listen to Boris Tchaikovsky!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Watch out for that pole reversal folks! You can buy a geomagnetic device from me to keep you safe. Just send MONEY to my PayPal account. All problems solved. Stay safe!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Oh, I'm suddenly 6 posts slow...


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Bruckner seemed like someone who participated in a nudist colony of monks or something. Photographic evidence may exist, but I'm certainly not looking for it! I'd rather listen to Boris Tchaikovsky!


Photos seem to point to a genuine dullard.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Oh no! I double-posted! I must have been pressing the button multiple times (sounds like my approach to self-pleasuring)...


This is the real reason why the forum is flickering on and off! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

I notice that right after I complained about the site's slowness, the site immediately sped up.

Can anyone else confirm this miraculous event?

Maybe I am.... :angel:


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Oh, I'm suddenly 6 posts slow...


I didn't do it, I swear! Is it going to be a boy or a girl? :lol:



hpowders said:


> Photos seem to point to a genuine dullard.


Maybe. Probably. If you're talking about Mahler, certainly!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> This is the real reason why the forum is flickering on and off! :lol:


If the forum shut down every time I had an orgasm, TC would be out of operation!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

You're just doing that "faking of the organism"


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I notice that right after I complained about the site's slowness, the site immediately sped up.
> 
> Can anyone else confirm this miraculous event.
> 
> Maybe I am.... :angel:


It's still slow, but Bettina's self-pleasuring talk is just making it steamier in here! 

I hope you all don't mind, but I'm taking my underwear off!


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> You're just doing that "faking of the organism"


What would be the point of faking orgasms during solo sex? I wouldn't be able to fool myself!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> If the forum shut down every time I had an orgasm, TC would be out of operation!


I just went out of operation...and just a few minutes ago I was

a smooth operator! :guitar:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It's still slow, but Bettina's self-pleasuring talk is just making it steamier in here!
> 
> I hope you all don't mind, but I'm taking my underwear off!


At work!?!? I am officially not responsible if you get arrested for this!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> What would be the point of faking orgasms during solo sex? I wouldn't be able to fool myself!


He said organism, not orgasm. Get your mind out of the gutter! :lol::devil:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

You're all thinking suitcase.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> He said organism, not orgasm. Get your mind out of the gutter! :lol::devil:


Given the context of our conversation, I assumed that he meant orgasm.


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> You're all thinking suitcase.


OK, I actually don't get this one.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I just went out of operation...and just a few minutes ago I was
> 
> a smooth operator! :guitar:


Doctor, doctor! Blue pills needed in Florida ASAP! 



Bettina said:


> At work!?!? I am officially not responsible if you get arrested for this!


I'm at home right now actually! Given that, it's a surprise I had my pants on to begin with! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Given the context of our conversation, I assumed that he meant orgasm.


You would assume that, wouldn't you?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

It's like: "Aaaah"................."aaaaaahhh"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Did someone say gutter, we need to Kerb our thoughts...........


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> OK, I actually don't get this one.


It's an idiom for "Iceland is melting".


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Doctor, doctor! Blue pills needed in Florida ASAP!
> 
> I'm at home right now actually! Given that, it's a surprise I had my pants on to begin with! :devil:


I thought you were going away for July 4th. That was just a ruse?


----------



## Klassik

Stupid thread idea: "Orgasm" is an odd word with gas being in the middle. Is a queef implied?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Poll: Why is TC so slow today?
> 
> A. Klassik posted nude photos of himself on the site
> B. Bettina posted nude photos of herself on the site
> C. hpowders posted nude photos of himself on the site
> D. Beethoven's ghost posted nude photos of himself on the site


E. Tchaikovsky's ghost posted a video of himself having sex with Bernstein's ghost


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I thought you were going away for July 4th. That was just a ruse?


Indeed! Fortunately, I'll be here at TC providing all the usual fireworks and air conducting the 1812 Overture with my baton! :devil:

I did eat a hot dog at work yesterday. I'll let TC imagine that visual!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Stupid thread idea: "Orgasm" is an odd word with gas being in the middle. Is a queef implied?


Maybe a fart, if the backdoor is involved in the action!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Indeed! Fortunately, I'll be here at TC providing all the usual fireworks and air conducting the 1812 Overture with my baton! :devil:
> 
> *I did eat a hot dog at work yesterday. * I'll let TC imagine that visual!


Are you practicing for your rendezvous with Tchaikovsky and Bernstein?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> E. Tchaikovsky's ghost posted a video of himself having sex with Bernstein's ghost


Well, that visual leaves me white as a ghost! 



Bettina said:


> Maybe a fart, if the backdoor is involved in the action!


Here's your connection to Beethoven...from Wikipedia...



> Vaginal gas that involves strong odor or fecal matter may be a result of colovaginal fistula, a serious condition involving a tear between the ****** and colon, which can result from surgery, child birth, diseases (such as Crohn's disease), and other causes.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginal_flatulence


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Are you practicing for your rendezvous with Tchaikovsky and Bernstein?


Bernstein is not invited!  Now Arthur Fiedler or Antal Doráti...:lol: Of couse, Antal would have to remove the 't' from his name for Tchaikovsky's sake!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Well, that visual leaves me white as a ghost!
> 
> Here's your connection to Beethoven...from Wikipedia...
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginal_flatulence


I love it how the TC software censored out a word from the Wikipedia article. I'm sure that it wasn't even a dirty word!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I love it how the TC software censored out a word from the Wikipedia article. I'm sure that it wasn't even a dirty word!


It's not! Not in my book anyway. I wonder what other female body parts are censored. Hmm...:devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Indeed! Fortunately, I'll be here at TC providing all the usual fireworks and air conducting the 1812 Overture with my baton! :devil:
> 
> I did eat a hot dog at work yesterday. I'll let TC imagine that visual!


Self-gratification?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I love it how the TC software censored out a word from the Wikipedia article. I'm sure that it wasn't even a dirty word!


Yet hell, hell, hell stays!!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It's not! Not in my book anyway. I wonder what other female body parts are censored. Hmm...:devil:


The TC censorship software was carefully designed to prevent us from talking dirty. But we've managed to find a lot of loopholes!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Self-gratification?


That would require a great deal of flexibility.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The TC censorship software was carefully designed to prevent us from talking dirty. But we've managed to find a lot of loopholes!


I'm sure it would be disabled in the....PM's.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Self-gratification?


Probably. _Some people_, who shall name anonymous, probably get more turned on by my self-gratification than my desire to visit their tunnel!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That would require a great deal of flexibility.


That's why we exercise. Desperation is terrific motivation.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That would require a great deal of flexibility.


Would you be turned on by a mediocre living composer who could self-fellate? (I'm not sure if that is even a word :lol



hpowders said:


> I'm sure it would be disabled in the....PM's.


The sad thing is that the censor works in PMs too! Trust me, I know! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Probably. _Some people_, who shall name anonymous, probably get more turned on by my self-gratification than my desire to visit their tunnel!


Guilty as charged! I am turned on by self-gratification. I'm saving my tunnel for Luddy.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Would you be turned on by a mediocre living composer who could self-fellate? (I'm not sure if that is even a word :lol
> 
> The sad thing is that the censor works in PMs too! Trust me, I know! :devil:


hpowders knows that too.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Would you be turned on by a mediocre living composer who could self-fellate? (I'm not sure if that is even a word :lol
> 
> The sad thing is that *the censor works in PMs too!* Trust me, I know! :devil:


Thanks. You saved me the trouble of trying it. PM's look pretty easy to do, no?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> hpowders knows that too.


All I know is Adam knew Eve. The rest as Billy Budd might say "is entirely innocent, I am."


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Would you be turned on by a mediocre living composer who could self-fellate? (I'm not sure if that is even a word :lol


That's a good question. Probably not. I'm only turned on by great composers (of course, Neil Diamond is the exception that proves the rule.)


----------



## hpowders

Yeah. I have to admit, I have tried it and they don't let you talk about your frank, very frankly. :scold:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Guilty as charged! I am turned on by self-gratification. I'm saving my tunnel for Luddy.


Unfortunately, Luddy is a Luddite. We won't see him on TC!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ssᴉd ǝɥʇ uo sʎɐʍlɐ ǝɹɐ spɹoʍ ʎW


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah. I have to admit, I have tried it and they don't let you talk about your frank, very frankly. :scold:


Really? I've always been able to speak candidly about my frank. :devil:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> ssᴉd ǝɥʇ uo sʎɐʍlɐ ǝɹɐ spɹoʍ ʎW


This is an Australian thing, right? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Really? I've always been able to speak candidly about my frank. :devil:
> 
> This is an Australian thing, right? :lol:


Yes. It's from "Down Under".


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Really? I've always been able to speak candidly about my frank. :devil:
> 
> This is an Australian thing, right? :lol:


Yeah, I turned my bottom of the world translator off


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Really? I've always been able to speak candidly about my frank. :devil:


I haven't been able to speak candidly about my tunnel!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's a good question. Probably not. I'm only turned on by great composers (of course, Neil Diamond is the exception that proves the rule.)


What if I told you that Tchaikovsky could self-fellate? Would that bump him above Beethoven? 

Please correct my poor grammar/word choice regarding self-pleasuring. I need your linguistic expertise in this area!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That's a good question. Probably not. I'm only turned on by great composers (of course, Neil Diamond is the exception that proves the rule.)


You would like living in Boston. Sweet Caroline is practically the city's national anthem.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I haven't been able to speak candidly about my tunnel!


Can you please try to discuss this?

BTW, I have my pants off now. :devil:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah, I turned my bottom of the world translator off


Zo?????

Ya see what I did there? I spelled OZ Bach-wards.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I want to live in Baltimore


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> What if I told you that Tchaikovsky could self-fellate? Would that bump him above Beethoven?
> 
> Please correct my poor grammar/word choice regarding self-pleasuring. I need your linguistic expertise in this area!


You know, it just might bump Tchaikovsky up to the top, if I found out that he could blow his own horn.

Maybe the word should be auto-fellate? Unfortunately that sounds like somebody giving a blow job to an exhaust pipe!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Zo?????
> 
> Ya see what I did there? I spelled OZ Bach-wards.


ʇᴉ upʎɐɥ uǝǝq ʇsnɾ noʎ 'zO uᴉ ʇuǝnlɟ ǝɹǝʍ noʎ ʍouʞ ʇ,upᴉp I


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Anyone up for a rimjob...or maybe autorimjob


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> You would like living in Boston. Sweet Caroline is practically the city's national anthem.


That might be awkward for me! I get turned on every time I hear Sweet Caroline, and it would be pretty embarrassing to have an orgasm in the middle of a Fourth of July celebration or something.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You know, it just might bump Tchaikovsky up to the top, if I found out that he could blow his own horn.
> 
> Maybe the word should be auto-fellate? Unfortunately that sounds like somebody giving a blow job to an exhaust pipe!


Well, he is famous for nut cracking. Something like that at least. :lol:

Hmm, an auto-fellater? I feel like I can build this and make millions!  Oh, wait, Hoover already did it!


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Anyone up for a rimjob...or maybe autorimjob


If you're able to do THAT, then you should compete in the Olympics. I hear that they have a new division for auto-stimulation.


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Anyone up for a rimjob...or maybe autorimjob


Maybe it's just me, but fellatio and cunnilingus are two of the most interesting words in the English language. We should use these words more frequently in conversations, yes?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Who's in pole position?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

I prefer muffdive


----------



## Bettina

It's too bad that auto-oral is basically impossible for women! Many times, I've tried to get my head down there, but it just won't work! Maybe yoga classes could help me get more flexible...?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Maybe it's just me, but fellatio and cunnilingus are two of the most interesting words in the English language. We should use these words more frequently in conversations, yes?


Your just making me tounge-tied


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Maybe it's just me, but fellatio and cunnilingus are two of the most interesting words in the English language. We should use these words more frequently in conversations, yes?


I've often wanted to use those words on TC, but I had assumed that the TC software would immediately replace them with asterisks. It wouldn't be very sexy (or meaningful!) to write "I'll give Ludwig ******** and he can give me ***********."


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Who's in pole position?





Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I prefer muffdive


Muffdrive is a good word! As for who's in pole position, the answer is that I'm #1! My crotch is proving that right now! 



Bettina said:


> It's too bad that auto-oral is basically impossible for women! Many times, I've tried to get my head down there, but it just won't work! Maybe yoga classes could help me get more flexible...?


Oh, so you like cunnilingus! Not all women do. Favorite position? :devil:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your just making me tounge-tied


Poor taz, you Aussies don't do English well!  Just kidding!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Just TAKE it. Oops, too short.


----------



## Bettina

Somehow the topic has turned toward auto-stimulation of our private parts. I can't decide if this is a new low or a new high for TC...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've often wanted to use those words on TC, but I had assumed that the TC software would immediately replace them with asterisks. It wouldn't be very sexy (or meaningful!) to write "I'll give Ludwig ******** and he can give me ***********."


As a professional educator, I'm just ticked off that I cannot discuss my ****** degree in Psychology, Magna cum laude. I worked hard for that, but TC just wants to censor me!


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Just TAKE it. Oops, too short.


If it's too short, I refuse to take it!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Somehow the topic has turned toward auto-stimulation of our private parts. I can't decide if this is a new low or a new high for TC...


You know what it is! :devil:

Hmm. Cum isn't censored here. Interesting. I had cum to assume that it was.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> If it's too short, I refuse to take it!


Let the records show that this is NOT the reason why Bettina dumped me!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Oh yeah, that's funny!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Oh, so you like cunnilingus! Not all women do. Favorite position? :devil:


I like to lie flat on my back, and my partner can crawl in between my legs and lick away! Actually, that would allow Ludwig to continue composing while licking - he could use my tummy as a table (I'd better keep doing crunches and sit-ups and stuff so that my tummy is firm enough to be his composing desk!)


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You know what it is! :devil:
> 
> Hmm. Cum isn't censored here. Interesting. I had cum to assume that it was.


Maybe the software isn't working today, because of a TC outage or something. Let's test it out. *****! ****! Cock!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Smell my beard.


----------



## Bettina

^Wow, cock actually made it through. I guess because it also means rooster...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I like to lie flat on my back, and my partner can crawl in between my legs and lick away! Actually, that would allow Ludwig to continue composing while licking - he could use my tummy as a table (I'd better keep doing crunches and sit-ups and stuff so that my tummy is firm enough to be his composing desk!)


Beethoven might prefer the spreadeagle. That way he can take a whiff of your armpits. The smell can remind him of how similar the two of you are! Of course, you'd have to rub some onions on your armpits first. I know you don't stink like that naturally!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> ^Wow, cock actually made it through. I guess because it also means rooster...


Mine makes it through everywhere! Well, except there! 

Maybe cock is an important word for classical music? :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

I want a nasty little Jewish Princess
With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
A horny little Jewish Princess
With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma
Lonely inside
Well, she can swallow my pride.


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I want a nasty little Jewish Princess
> With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
> A horny little Jewish Princess
> With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma
> Lonely inside
> Well, she can swallow my pride.


I'm confused.  Is this post about Fanny Mendelssohn? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I want a nasty little Jewish Princess
> With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
> A horny little Jewish Princess
> With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma
> Lonely inside
> Well, she can swallow my pride.


Zappatastic:lol:


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Zappatastic:lol:


Are you sure? I thought it was by Wagner! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

An actual quote from Wikipedia on the autocunnilingus page:



> In "Besorgung", one of his Venetian Epigrams, Goethe imagined Bettina becoming sufficiently limber to perform autocunnilingus and do without men


Our Bettina?

:lol:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autocunnilingus


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> An actual quote from Wikipedia on the autocunnilingus page:
> 
> Our Bettina?
> 
> :lol:
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autocunnilingus


WOW!! Honestly, I had no idea about this. Maybe that was me in a past life! Too bad that I can't lick my ***** in this life!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> WOW!! Honestly, I had no idea about this. Maybe that was me in a past life! Too bad that I can't lick my ***** in this life!


Well, you're already doing without men. Living ones at least! :lol:

I saw that and went, "WTF? Bettina?!" :tiphat:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Well, you're already doing without men. Living ones at least! :lol:
> 
> I saw that and went, "WTF? Bettina?!" :tiphat:


You must have done a double-take when you saw my name there!! What a bizarre coincidence. Maybe I came across that poem at some point in the past, and I subconsciously remembered it when I chose my TC user name. Paging Dr. Freud!! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You must have done a double-take when you saw my name there!! What a bizarre coincidence. Maybe I came across that poem at some point in the past, and I subconsciously remembered it when I chose my TC user name. Paging Dr. Freud!! :lol:


You're right! I did! I was surprised that there was even a page about autocunnilingus. I thought it was a word you made up! :lol:

I don't know if TC has improved my knowledge of classical music any, but it has improved my knowledge about oddball sex stuff. You can say that TC is making me a sexpert. Well, it would help if I stopped getting rejected! I guess I should do more research on the "auto" sexual stuff! :lol:

Maybe this will help me understand classical music. From the Wikipedia cunnilingus page:



> Some sex manuals recommend beginning with a gentler, less focused stimulation of the labia and the whole genital area. The tip, blade, or underside of the tongue may be used, and so might the nose, chin, teeth and lips. Movements can be slow or fast, regular or erratic, firm or soft, according to the participants' preferences. The tongue can be inserted into the vag**a, either stiffened or moving. The performing partner may also hum to produce vibration.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunnilingus

Hmm, Glenn Gould?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Are you sure? I thought it was by Wagner! :lol:


Zagner, he was Zozart's cousin


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You're right! I did! I was surprised that there was even a page about autocunnilingus. *I thought it was a word you made up!* :lol:
> 
> I don't know if TC has improved my knowledge of classical music any, but it has improved my knowledge about oddball sex stuff. You can say that TC is making me a sexpert. Well, it would help if I stopped getting rejected! I guess I should do more research on the "auto" sexual stuff! :lol:
> 
> Maybe this will help me understand classical music. From the Wikipedia cunnilingus page:
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunnilingus
> 
> Hmm, Glenn Gould?


I thought that too! Who knew that it was actually a thing?

That page has some good ideas. Nose, chin, teeth, and lips, huh? Well, maybe if I manage to resurrect (and seduce) Brahms, he could get his beard in on the act too!


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Zagner, he was Zozart's cousin


Was Zagner anti-Zemitic?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Breaking News ----- The KIA (Kangaroo Intelligence Agency) has just intercepted via Ham radio intercepts from the Chinese via intercepts from the Kremlin that the Whitehouse are about to offer Bettina a deal, if she will stop posting about Orgasms (apparently he doesn't get much anymore). 
ApparentlyDonald reads STI and it is distracting him from his work- hence his erratic behaviour and they are worried at this rate there will be no wall.....
So they are about to offer Bettina JFK, as they say that Beethoven is too far gone for medical science.........


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I thought that too! Who knew that it was actually a thing?
> 
> That page has some good ideas. Nose, chin, teeth, and lips, huh? Well, maybe if I manage to resurrect (and seduce) Brahms, he could get his beard in on the act too!


Would you really want Brahms though? He seems like an even deader duck than Beethoven! Besides, who know what he might have picked up from Robert and Clara!


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Breaking News ----- The KIA (Kangaroo Intelligence Agency) has just incepted via Ham radio incepts from the Chinese via incepts from the Kremlin that the Whitehouse are about to offer Bettina a deal, if she will stop posting about Orgasms (apparently he doesn't get much anymore).
> ApparentlyDonald reads STI and it is distracting him from his work- hence his erratic behaviour and they are worried at this rate there will be no wall.....
> So they are about to offer Bettina JFK, as they say that Beethoven is too far gone for medical science.........


He'd just come to California and grab some pu**y! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Breaking News ----- The KIA (Kangaroo Intelligence Agency) has just incepted via Ham radio incepts from the Chinese via incepts from the Kremlin that the Whitehouse are about to offer Bettina a deal, if she will stop posting about Orgasms (apparently he doesn't get much anymore).
> ApparentlyDonald reads STI and it is distracting him from his work- hence his erratic behaviour and they are worried at this rate there will be no wall.....
> So they are about to offer Bettina JFK, as they say that Beethoven is too far gone for medical science.........


Thanks for the heads-up! Unfortunately, JFK doesn't turn me on. I only go for musicians. If it's too late for Beethoven, could they resurrect Bernstein (and give him a pill or something to make him straight?)


----------



## EdwardBast

Bettina said:


> I thought that too! Who knew that it was actually a thing?
> 
> That page has some good ideas. Nose, chin, teeth, and lips, huh? Well, maybe if I manage to resurrect (and seduce) Brahms, he could get his beard in on the act too!


Of course auto______ is a thing! Any decent porn site will yield valiant failed attempts. I believe I saw an actual photographically documented case years ago, but she was a pro.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Thanks for the heads-up! Unfortunately, JFK doesn't turn me on. I only go for musicians. If it's too late for Beethoven, could they resurrect Bernstein (and give him a pill or something to make him straight?)


How about Bill, he played Sax once with Fleetwood Mac............... (and has Whitehouse ties)


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Would you really want Brahms though? He seems like an even deader duck than Beethoven! Besides, who know what he might have picked up from Robert and Clara!


The crazy thing is, I'm basically turned on by all the great composers. Even if they're smelly, hairy and impotent!


----------



## Klassik

EdwardBast said:


> Of course auto______ is a thing! Any decent porn site will yield valiant failed attempts. I believe I saw an actual photographically documented case years ago, but she was a pro.


Sorry, I've been finding STI to be more erotic than the porn sites lately. I guess I need to do my research! 



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How about Bill, he played Sax once with Fleetwood Mac............... (and has Whitehouse ties)


Well, you don't have to worry about Bill's libido! :lol:



Bettina said:


> The crazy thing is, I'm basically turned on by all the great composers. Even if they're smelly, hairy and impotent!


Even Bruckner, Mahler, and Sibelius?  Of course, I know you don't think they are great!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Go Mussorgsky


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Go Mussorgsky


Yeah, I'll pour vodka all over my body to get him interested.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> *Even Bruckner, Mahler, and Sibelius?  Of course, I know you don't think they are great! *


Ugh, definitely not them! EWW!  Maybe I should say, I'm turned on by my favorite composers.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Wazzat muffdive huh?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I'll pour vodka all over my body to get him interested.


What about Glazunov? He knew how to suck a hose (_allegedly_!) I guess that does not help you much! 



Bettina said:


> Ugh, definitely not them! EWW!  Maybe I should say, I'm turned on by my favorite composers.


Well, don't worry. You won't hurt Bruckner's feelings since you're not a virgin and you won't hurt Mahler's erection since he couldn't get one! Sibelius, well, you may have put him back on the bottle! :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Off, now I feel most polarized again. Maybe beer and Gammel Dansk will help?


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Off, now I feel most polarized again. Maybe beer and Gammel Dansk will help?


I just rub one out when I get polearized. :devil:

Oh, wait, you said polarized. Carry along...


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

That's wong! Give me alkohol!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> That's wong! Give me alkohol!


No wong here. I have a wang though if you're interested! :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

See no wong, hear no wong, speak no wong! Give a me a alkohol!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Hey there people! I now remember I wanted to do something special for my 999th post. Ready?


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Hey there people! I now remember I wanted to do something special for my 999th post. Ready?


Hang on, I'm rubbing one out...

...ok, ready! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> What about Glazunov? He knew how to suck a hose (_allegedly_!) I guess that does not help you much!
> 
> Well, don't worry. You won't hurt Bruckner's feelings since you're not a virgin and you won't hurt Mahler's erection since he couldn't get one! Sibelius, well, you may have put him back on the bottle! :lol:


The Whithouse have one last offer for Bettina- he is good on the Ivorys and has ties to the Whitehouse.......


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The Whithouse have one last offer for Bettina- he is good on the Ivorys and has ties to the Whitehouse.......


His piano playing isn't good enough to impress me. I'm not going to let him *put in* his "corncob"!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

So, good people, I challenge you to follow and listen to some black metal here...http://www.talkclassical.com/6106-non-classical-im-currently-865.html#post1266196


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> His piano playing isn't good enough to impress me. I'm not going to let him *put in* his "corncob"!


In Russia, he put in his corncob in you!

Ok, sorry for that terrible attempt at humor. I was really Russian to get that post in! :tiphat:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What about my inverted and retrograde 999th post. Is VIP!


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> So, good people, I challenge you to follow and listen to some black metal here...http://www.talkclassical.com/6106-non-classical-im-currently-865.html#post1266196


I'll put it on my to-do list for later!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> So, good people, I challenge you to follow and listen to some black metal here...http://www.talkclassical.com/6106-non-classical-im-currently-865.html#post1266196


I listened to it. It's better than Neil Diamond, but don't take that as a compliment! :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Klassik said:


> I listened to it. It's better than Neil Diamond, but don't take that as a compliment! :lol:


I actually like Neil Diamond...


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I actually like Neil Diamond...


How much beer have you had, son?!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Maybe it's just me, but fellatio and cunnilingus are two of the most interesting words in the English language. We should use these words more frequently in conversations, yes?


You college grads showing off with the big words.

I'll just assume they are important musical theory terms.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Do you have more? I went to Sweden some weeks ago=more beer in the basement.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Whatever happened to "muffdive"?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> You college grads showing off with the big words.


I majored in fellatio (getting it, not giving it! ) with a minor in cunnilingus. :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Whatever happened to "muffdive"?


We have no use for slang like that here on STI! We're edumacated folk here!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I majored in fellatio (getting it, not giving it! ) with a minor in cunnilingus. :devil:


I was precocious. I knew those words long before college. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I was precocious. I knew those words long before college. :lol:


You mean you weren't practicing the piano all throughout your youth?! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You mean you weren't practicing the piano all throughout your youth?! :lol:


I practiced the piano every day, but I experimented with other instruments too! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I practiced the piano every day, but I experimented with other instruments too! :lol:


So how/when did you know you were autosexual (or whatever the name is, I don't know about this stuff :lol? I hope you're not judging male sexual performance based on some high school boys! Trust me, we get better with some experience! :devil:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

You folks here are maybe the only ones that know I posted a BLACK METAL VIDEO. If you listen to it, the light will fill your soul and everybody's happy  I really wish you like it!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> You folks here are maybe the only ones that know I posted a BLACK METAL VIDEO. If you listen to it, the light will fill your soul and everybody's happy  I really wish you like it!


Maybe I'll share it with one of the student workers at work next week. He's not my student worker, but he works in one of the areas I'm associated with. He's a music major and has a metal band. True story: I helped him cheat on a take home test over classical music. I know, I know, but I was just so happy that he was interested in my classical music knowledge! :lol: Oddly enough, he's a huge Telemann fan because of that class!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So how/when did you know you were autosexual (or whatever the name is, I don't know about this stuff :lol? I hope you're not judging male sexual performance based on some high school boys! Trust me, we get better with some experience! :devil:


Oh, don't worry, I've had plenty more experiences since then! I definitely didn't know that I was autosexual in highschool. I thought it was just that the boys weren't very good. But later, as I continued to try out many different lovers in my adult years, I realized that nothing was as hot as my solo fantasies!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Oh, don't worry, I've had plenty more experiences since then! I definitely didn't know that I was autosexual in highschool. I thought it was just that the boys weren't very good. But later, as I continued to try out many different lovers in my adult years, I realized that nothing was as hot as my solo fantasies!


I should also say that you should not judge a man by the first night together. Sometimes we're just a little overwhelmed the first time with a particular woman. It takes a couple of times before it settles into something normal. That's fair game to judge. With someone as erotic as you, it might take a few hundred times before we can control ourselves fully! :devil: But I do imagine you having very sexy fingers! Fingering practice makes perfect! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I should also say that you should not judge a man by the first night together. Sometimes we're just a little overwhelmed the first time with a particular woman. It takes a couple of times before it settles into something normal. That's fair game to judge. With someone as erotic as you, it might take a few hundred times before we can control ourselves fully! :devil: But I do imagine you having very sexy fingers! Fingering practice makes perfect! :lol:


Thanks for the compliment about my eroticism!  I've been in several long-term relationships, and you're right that the sex does get better over time...but never as good as my fantasies about Ludwig and company. It's possible that if I meet the right person, I might try another relationship in the future. At this point, though, I'm having a great time with my fingers and CDs/DVDs. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Thanks for the compliment about my eroticism!  I've been in several long-term relationships, and you're right that the sex does get better over time...but never as good as my fantasies about Ludwig and company. It's possible that if I meet the right person, I might try another relationship in the future.


I figure most women (married women in particular) are faking it anyway. I guess it really does not matter what's on your mind when you're faking it! Plus, a lot of men just work quickly anyway especially if it's a total babe. You can spend the rest of your time doing what you want! :devil:



> At this point, though, I'm having a great time with my fingers and CDs/DVDs. :lol:


Why is it that your fingering with CDs and DVDs is so much more erotic than me taking care of business while looking at the sportswear models in the Sears catalog? :lol:

_Just kidding, I have not done that since high school. I'm talking about looking at the women models in the Sears catalog, not the taking care of business. I think you knew that already though!_


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I figure most women (married women in particular) are faking it anyway. I guess it really does not matter what's on your mind when you're faking it! Plus, a lot of men just work quickly anyway especially if it's a total babe. You can spend the rest of your time doing what you want! :devil:
> 
> Why is it that your fingering with CDs and DVDs is so much more erotic than me taking care of business while looking at the sportswear models in the Sears catalog? :lol:
> 
> _*Just kidding, I have not done that since high school. I'm talking about looking at the women models in the Sears catalog, not the taking care of business.* I think you knew that already though!_


What do you use nowadays when you take care of business? Now that all of TC knows my "routine" in detail, I think it's time for you to spill some beans of your own! Only if you're comfortable doing so, of course.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> What do you use nowadays when you take care of business? Now that all of TC knows my "routine" in detail, I think it's time for you to spill some beans of your own! Only if you're comfortable doing so, of course.


I don't know about women, but usually guys don't talk about "it." But I know how much STI loves TMI (well, I think we're the only ones who like it ) so why not, right?

I don't think about emotional things when I take care of business. I don't have a particularly difficult time "getting into the mood" either as you can imagine. Since it's not really much of an emotional experience, I just try to get some sort of physical image. The women I saw at the grocery store or something is enough of a visual for me :lol:. I will say that I've never once thought of a dead person or a fictional person while TCBing. 

Do you think it's common for women to have emotional thoughts during touching?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I don't know about women, but usually guys don't talk about "it." But I know how much STI loves TMI (well, I think we're the only ones who like it ) so why not, right?
> 
> I don't think about emotional things when I take care of business. I don't have a particularly difficult time "getting into the mood" either as you can imagine. Since it's not really much of an emotional experience, I just try to get some sort of physical image. The women I saw at the grocery store or something is enough of a visual for me :lol:. I will say that I've never once thought of a dead person or a fictional person while TCBing.
> 
> Do you think it's common for women to have emotional thoughts during touching?


Thanks for the info - we need to maintain our reputations as the TMI champions on TC! 

Women don't usually talk about it much either, but I do have a few zany friends who are happy to dish about their diddling! Based on what they've told me, their fantasies are somewhat similar to mine in terms of emotional content. Of course, they prefer to fantasize about live men! :lol:


----------



## Jacred

Holy Scheiße! This thread has...._gone places_ of late.

Poll: Pre-Klassik-al Era STI or Klassik-al Era STI? :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Holy Scheiße! This thread has...._gone places_ of late.
> 
> Poll: Pre-Klassik-al Era STI or Klassik-al Era STI? :devil:


Klassikal era, of course! I feel like my presence has caused STIers to shed their clothing and admit their truest feelings! It's kind of like the Romantic era of classical music. Of course, if either Bettina or I leave, the atonal period of STI will be next.


----------



## Klassik

Klassik would also like to add that Klassik finds it interesting how Klassik gets the blame for the current rhetoric in STI. Klassik has a big ego so Klassik will accept blame for the matters, but Klassik would also like to add that it takes two to tango (well, unless you're Bettina )!



Bettina said:


> Thanks for the info - we need to maintain our reputations as the TMI champions on TC!
> 
> Women don't usually talk about it much either, but I do have a few zany friends who are happy to dish about their diddling! Based on what they've told me, their fantasies are somewhat similar to mine in terms of emotional content. Of course, they prefer to fantasize about live men!


Now that you know what you know, I'm sure you'll be certain not to look attractive at all when you go to the grocery store! :lol:

Well, it's good to hear that most women prefer to TCB to thoughts of living men. Maybe there's hope for me yet. Ok, that might be pushing it.  Speaking of pushing it, when it comes to real sex, I think there's a natural tendency for men to just do the job. It's like plunging the toilet. You put the plunger in there, plung away, do the job, make a big mess, clean it up, and get on with life. It's mainly a physical thing. Of course, some guys aren't skilled enough to do anything better. Also, some women just want to get it over with I think. Anyway, a more "aware" partner will make it more of an emotional experience for both.

Back to making big messes, I will say that us men do make a big mess. I can understand why you wouldn't want that part of it. Maybe that's why a dead guy is better, I don't know. :lol: I apologize, but what can I say? We suffer from the same thing when we TCB solo as well. I guess that's just one of the many reasons why female touching is a lot more erotic!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Klassikal era, of course! I feel like my presence has caused STIers to shed their clothing and admit their truest feelings! It's kind of like the Romantic era of classical music. Of course, if either Bettina or I leave, the atonal period of STI will be next.


I love the Klassikal era of STI. Hpowders and I were already moving in that direction anyway, with sexual talk and lots of jokes. It's great to have a third person who's willing to join in the fun!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> What about my inverted and retrograde 999th post. Is VIP!


Was it done from Petrograd


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I love the Klassikal era of STI. Hpowders and I were already moving in that direction anyway, with sexual talk and lots of jokes. It's great to have a third person who's willing to join in the fun!


So it wasn't simply a dream?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> So it wasn't simply a dream?


You're asking _ME _to distinguish between dreams and reality? The woman who thinks that she's in a relationship with Beethoven? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina and I attempted to make TC a bit less stiff, but we may have accomplished the opposite!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> You're asking _ME _to distinguish between dreams and reality? The woman who thinks that she's in a relationship with Beethoven? :lol:


You make a good point.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Bettina and I attempted to make TC a bit less stiff, but we may have accomplished the opposite!


I know that you and Bettina make me stiff! :devil:

Ok, it's just Bettina! :lol:


----------



## Totenfeier

Um, moderators? Name change? Sexual Thread Ideas?

Or STDs, whichever would be appropriate.

(Sears Touching Discussions, that would be, by the way).


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I know that you and Bettina make me stiff! :devil:
> 
> Ok, it's just Bettina! :lol:


You had me worried for a while....although I did seemingly have that effect on a dude in the Copenhagen train station one afternoon.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> You had me worried for a while....although I did seemingly have that effect on a dude in the Copenhagen train station one afternoon.


I wonder if that's the same guy I knew from Amsterdam on another forum many years back who was obsessed about wanting to lick me. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I know that you and Bettina make me stiff! :devil:
> 
> Ok, it's just Bettina! :lol:


On eHarmony.com, you must have clicked on: 'filter': "women who must be permanantly in love with dead people".


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I wonder if that's the same guy I knew from Amsterdam on another forum many years back who was obsessed about wanting to lick me. :lol:


As long as you didn't _bouw_ to him at the _concert._


----------



## hpowders

I'm Zardov and I was just released from the Gulag.

I'm here to tell you how inferior all your opinions are and to put down everything you write that is NOT about Tchaikovsky's greatness.

Friends List is open. PM me.


----------



## hpowders

Is it true that Schoenberg came up with the idea of atonalism after listening to his badly off-key wife singing in the shower one day?


----------



## Klassik

Totenfeier said:


> Um, moderators? Name change? Sexual Thread Ideas?
> 
> Or STDs, whichever would be appropriate.
> 
> (Sears Touching Discussions, that would be, by the way).


There should be a Sears Touching Discussions thread! Maybe I'll start that. I mean check out these babes! This is from Montgomery Ward and is from before I was born, but why should that matter. "The gift that charms!" Hell yeah!

I'll be back...I have some spanking to do! 

http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Wards_Christmas_Catalog/#78



hpowders said:


> On eHarmony.com, you must have clicked on: 'filter': "women who must be permanantly in love with dead people".


Well, she does fantasize about Neil Diamond and he's alive. Maybe there's hope yet? Ok, maybe not. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> There should be a Sears Touching Discussions thread! Maybe I'll start that. I mean check out these babes! This is from Montgomery Ward and is from before I was born, but why should that matter. "The gift that charms!" Hell yeah!
> 
> I'll be back...I have some spanking to do!
> 
> http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Wards_Christmas_Catalog/#78
> 
> Well, she does fantasize about Neil Diamond and he's alive. Maybe there's hope yet? Ok, maybe not. :lol:


When she changes her TC name to Caroline, it's over.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'm Zardov and I was just released from the Gulag.
> 
> I'm here to tell you how inferior all your opinions are and to put down everything you write that is NOT about Tchaikovsky's greatness.
> 
> Friends List is open. PM me.


Zardov told me that I've been brainwashed into loving Beethoven! Is that true? Should I try to de-program myself?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> When she changes her TC name to Caroline, it's over.


That wouldn't fit me very well! I'm not exactly sweet - I'm such a horny devil! Maybe I should call myself "horny Caroline."


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> When she changes her TC name to Caroline, it's over.


True story: I used to know a girl named Caroline in the 3rd grade. She used to do show and tells during recess!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Zardov told me that I've been brainwashed into loving Beethoven! Is that true? Should I try to de-program myself?


Just realize the error of your ways. How inferior loving Beethoven is to....loving Tchaikovsky for example....always the life of the party....the Prozac Prototype....in the flesh.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That wouldn't fit me very well! I'm not exactly sweet - I'm such a horny devil! Maybe I should call myself "horny Caroline."


No can do! As mentioned earlier, I already knew Horny Caroline in the 3rd grade! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Just realize the error of your ways. How inferior loving Beethoven is to....loving Tchaikovsky for example....always the life of the party....the Prozac Prototype....in the flesh.


Beethoven > Tchaikovsky

Beethoven lived through Irritable Bowl Disease for many years. Tchaikovsky got diarrhea once and died! Wimp! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Will the flavors of atonalism have to be modified if TC comes up with a strict definition of atonalism?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Beethoven > Tchaikovsky
> 
> Beethoven lived through Irritable Bowl Disease for many years. Tchaikovsky got diarrhea once and died! Wimp! :lol:


Yeah, but Tchaikovsky was a better dresser and played Carnegie Hall.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Will the flavors of atonalism be changed if TC comes up with a strict definition of atonalism?


I prefer onion flavored atonalism. It sure beats the heck out of toe cheese atonalism.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I prefer onion flavored atonalism. It sure beats the heck out of toe cheese atonalism.


I'm partial to rum-cake-ed atonal compositions. Makes it easier to digest.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah, but Tchaikovsky was a better dresser and played Carnegie Hall.


I'm sure Bettina dreams of them in the nude anyway. Of course, Tchaikovsky might have/probably looked better nude. I'm sure he looked fabulous!

If You Can Make It in New York City, You Can Make It Anywhere. On that note, why doesn't Bettina have a thing for Sinatra?

True Story Not Relevant to Anything: One of my favorite sports moments is when Scott Norwood of the Bills missed the potential game winning field goal against the New York Giants at Super Bowl XXV in Tampa. Soon after that, the stadium PA system started playing Sinatra's _New York, New York_. What a moment. I have chills just thinking about that time.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I'm sure Bettina dreams of them in the nude anyway. Of course, Tchaikovsky might have/probably looked better nude. I'm sure he looked fabulous!
> 
> If You Can Make It in New York City, You Can Make It Anywhere. On that note, why doesn't Bettina have a thing for Sinatra?
> 
> True Story Not Relevant to Anything: One of my favorite sports moments is when Scott Norwood of the Bills missed the potential game winning field goal against the New York Giants at Super Bowl XXV in Tampa. Soon after that, the stadium PA system started playing Sinatra's _New York, New York_. What a moment. I have chills just thinking about that time.


I believe she wrote that she doesn't like Sinatra, if I remember correctly.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I believe she wrote that she doesn't like Sinatra, if I remember correctly.


She must prefer brown eyes?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> She must prefer brown eyes?


I got 'em.....


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I got 'em.....


As do I!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I believe she wrote that she doesn't like Sinatra, if I remember correctly.


Yeah, Sinatra doesn't do anything for me. His voice is too smooth. I prefer Neil's raspy sound - it's much sexier!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, Sinatra doesn't do anything for me. His voice is too smooth. I prefer Neil's raspy sound - it's much sexier!


Well, if that's all it takes, I should send you an audio file of my "wonderful" singing! 

I was a choir boy in middle school after all!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Well, if that's all it takes, I should send you an audio file of my "wonderful" singing!
> 
> I was a choir boy in middle school after all!


That's not quite all it takes...the wacky thing is, I'm turned on by the fact that Neil doesn't know I exist. That adds to his sexiness! The unattainability thing really gets me going.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's not quite all it takes...the wacky thing is, I'm turned on by the fact that Neil doesn't know I exist. That adds to his sexiness! The unattainability thing really gets me going.


This could work in ole' Klassik's favor too! You think you know who I am, but maybe I'm really a woman in Brazil pretending to be a male classical music fan in Houston who wants to sleep with you! What do you really know about me? :lol:

Of course, you could be a 56 year old dude in China. Who knows!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> As do I!


But I had 'em first!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> This could work in ole' Klassik's favor too! You think you know who I am, but maybe I'm really a woman in Brazil pretending to be a male classical music fan in Houston who wants to sleep with you! What do you really know about me? :lol:
> 
> Of course, you could be a 56 year old dude in China. Who knows!


Nothing on the internet would surprise me.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> *That's not quite all it takes.*..the wacky thing is, I'm turned on by the fact that Neil doesn't know I exist. That adds to his sexiness! The unattainability thing really gets me going.


Yes. Klassik obviously has a lot to learn.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yeah, Sinatra doesn't do anything for me. His voice is too smooth. I prefer Neil's raspy sound - it's much sexier!


See!!! I REMEMBER what you wrote a long time ago. hpowders goes the extra mile....to care. :tiphat:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yes. Klassik obviously has a lot to learn.


But I have what cannot be learned! :devil:



hpowders said:


> But I had 'em first!


No argument there!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> But I have what cannot be learned! :devil:
> 
> No argument there!


But think of all the memories I can share with a lucky lass: Lincoln's Gettysburg Address from an eyewitness, being drafted into the American army to fight Santa Ana and the Mexican troops at the Alamo. Priceless!!!


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> That's not quite all it takes...the wacky thing is, I'm turned on by the fact that Neil doesn't know I exist. That adds to his sexiness! The unattainability thing really gets me going.


Neil's new Fouth of July song.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...644e4b05c37bb7e9494?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

STI:

Impeach now, replace later, don't know, don't care.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> No wong here. I have a wang though if you're interested! :lol:


They are lining up around the block. I thought there was a Neil Diamond concert.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Well, if that's all it takes, I should send you an audio file of my "wonderful" singing!
> 
> I was a choir boy in middle school after all!


That explains a lot


----------



## Vaneyes

Paint thinner, pranksters, panties, programs, prenups, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> But think of all the memories I can share with a lucky lass: Lincoln's Gettysburg Address from an eyewitness, being drafted into the American army to fight Santa Ana and the Mexican troops at the Alamo. Priceless!!!


You're old, but you're not that old. Stop trying to pretend to be dead. :lol: Speaking of which, as I stated earlier, I intend to die with an erection. If I die before Bettina, she can have sex with my dead corpse! :devil: Just kidding, Bettina.  Well, at least I'm kidding on my end, I have no idea what your intentions are! :lol:

Oh, and the truth of the matter is that I live in the Alamo. Hey, I'm in Texas. Why not? Oh, and don't become a history teacher because the Battle of the Alamo pitted the Republic of Texas revolutionaries against Mexico. :lol: Remember, we were our own country for a while!



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> That explains a lot


You just know how much I act like a choir boy! You know, with all my naughty behavior and hatred for sung words in music and all!


----------



## Vaneyes

Smallmouth, deepmouth, blabbermouth, vermouth, goalmouth, bigmouth, cottonmouth, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Bettina

Only on TC:

Bettina's suitors compete over who would be the sexiest corpse. :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> Only on TC:
> 
> Bettina's suitors compete over who would be the sexiest corpse. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Morbius seems to have Sarah-Jane under his spell and he had returned from the dead- any takers?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Only on TC:
> 
> Bettina's suitors compete over who would be the sexiest corpse. :lol:


Suitors? I thought you go to dressmakers! There's the internet again!!


----------



## hpowders

What are your best dating qualities, TC members?

Well, I'm alive. That's my most admirable quality. Diminishing returns after that.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> *You're old, but you're not that old.* Stop trying to pretend to be dead. :lol: Speaking of which, as I stated earlier, I intend to die with an erection. If I die before Bettina, she can have sex with my dead corpse! :devil: Just kidding, Bettina.  Well, at least I'm kidding on my end, I have no idea what your intentions are!
> 
> Oh, and the truth of the matter is that I live in the Alamo. Hey, I'm in Texas. Why not? Oh, and don't become a history teacher because the Battle of the Alamo pitted the Republic of Texas revolutionaries against Mexico. :lol: Remember, we were our own country for a while!
> 
> You just know how much I act like a choir boy! You know, with all my naughty behavior and hatred for sung words in music and all!


I remember life before the Internet.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Smallmouth, deepmouth, blabbermouth, vermouth, goalmouth, bigmouth, cottonmouth, other, don't know, don't care.


Did you attend Dartmouth?


----------



## Bettina

My best dating qualities? I'm drawing a total blank, so let me tell you my worst dating qualities instead: I'll pretend that you're dead. Also, I'll probably forget your name and I'll scream out "**** me, Ludwig!"


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Only on TC:
> 
> Bettina's suitors compete over who would be the sexiest corpse. :lol:


I'm sure that it's me! Regardless, if I live to old age, you'll also be old. Perhaps senile. In which case, you might think that my corpse really is Beethoven or Neil Diamond! 



hpowders said:


> What are your best dating qualities, TC members?
> 
> Well, I'm alive. That's my most admirable quality. Diminishing returns after that.


Alive? That's a negative quality around here! 



Bettina said:


> My best dating qualities? I'm drawing a total blank, so let me tell you my worst dating qualities instead: I'll pretend that you're dead. Also, I'll probably forget your name and I'll scream out "**** me, Ludwig!"


You know, Lenny would be an acceptable nickname of me given my real name (though my lovers usually use a different nickname for me). We could make this work. :devil:


----------



## Klassik

I've been getting strange ads when I visit a football forum I read ever since I started posting on STI. Usually ads for tampons, pantyliners, and stuff like that. That site must use contextual ads which gives ads based on sites you visit because I can't imagine many NY Giants fans buy Kotex products. Anyway, I got a new ad today. See the attached screenshot.

I think they're trying to rub it in.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You know, Lenny would be an acceptable nickname of me given my real name (though my lovers usually use a different nickname for me). We could make this work. :devil:


I'm still skeptical about whether this could work. I don't think you'd appreciate my shouts of "Lenny, I love West Side Story!!" in the heat of the moment. :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I've been getting strange ads when I visit a football forum I read ever since I started posting on STI. Usually ads for tampons, pantyliners, and stuff like that. * That site must use contextual ads which gives ads based on sites you visit* because I can't imagine many NY Giants fans buy Kotex products. Anyway, I got a new ad today. See the attached screenshot.
> 
> I think they're trying to rub it in.
> 
> View attachment 95681


So you've been visiting pantyliner and tampon websites? Does this mean that you're putting together a gift basket for me?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm still skeptical about whether this could work. I don't think you'd appreciate my shouts of "Lenny, I love West Side Story!!" in the heat of the moment. :lol:


You know good and well that nobody likes West Side Story for anything that Bernstein added to it! :lol: You like Bernstein because of his conducting style and so forth. If you moan out, "Lenny, great baton technique," I'd take it as a compliment! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> So you've been visiting pantyliner and tampon websites? Does this mean that you're putting together a gift basket for me?


Sure, why not? I'll wrap it in some granny panties! Should I include some Midol or should that be in the gift basket for Klassik? 

No, I saw it on a football forum. You're more than welcome to put a football in there. Not even I can compete with that!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You know good and well that nobody likes West Side Story for anything that Bernstein added to it! :lol: You like Bernstein because of his conducting style and so forth. If you moan out, "Lenny, great baton technique," I'd take it as a compliment! :devil:


Of course I love Lenny's baton, but I actually DO love West Side Story too! I guess that's further evidence of my insanity (as if we needed any MORE evidence!!) :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Of course I love Lenny's baton, but I actually DO love West Side Story too! I guess that's further evidence of my insanity (as if we needed any MORE evidence!!) :lol:


Wow, you really are crazy! But, yet, I find the craziness attractive. Being attracted to crazy chicks. Hmm. I'm becoming like the great classical composers! See, it's working out! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Sure, why not? I'll wrap it in some granny panties! Should I include some Midol or should that be in the gift basket for Klassik?
> 
> No, I saw it on a football forum. You're more than welcome to put a football in there. Not even I can compete with that!


You'll need the Midol when you come home and find me lying on the couch, watching West Side Story and pleasuring myself!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You'll need the Midol when you come home and find me lying on the couch, watching West Side Story and pleasuring myself!


You're more than welcome to pleasure yourself anyway you want when I'm not home as long as it isn't to another living man. In other words, I don't see what the problem is! :lol::devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You're more than welcome to pleasure yourself anyway you want when I'm not home as long as it isn't to another living man. In other words, I don't see what the problem is! :lol::devil:


Well, sometimes (actually, often!) I do it to Neil's music videos. Since he's still alive, would that be off-limits in our marriage?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Well, sometimes (actually, often!) I do it to Neil's music videos. Since he's still alive, would that be off-limits in our marriage?


You can do whatever you want to Neil's music videos when I'm not home. In fact, I find your touching to be really hot! I'd welcome it if you touched yourself to Beethoven, Liszt, or Tchaikovsky's works when I'm home. Well, that is as long as you do at least one movement with me! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You can do whatever you want to Neil's music videos when I'm not home. In fact, I find your touching to be really hot! *I'd welcome it if you touched yourself to Beethoven, Liszt, or Tchaikovsky's works when I'm home.* Well, that is as long as you do at least one movement with me! :devil:


If we got married, I'd certainly let you have a say in choosing the playlist. Perhaps every morning we could plan out the daily soundtrack for my auto-touching activities!

We'll have to make all of this official in our prenup contract. I'll make you sign a statement that says "I have given Bettina permission to touch herself to Neil's music videos, Lenny's West Side story, and any classical piece that she likes."


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> If we got married, I'd certainly let you have a say in choosing the playlist. Perhaps every morning we could plan out the daily soundtrack for my auto-touching activities!
> 
> We'll have to make all of this official in our prenup contract. I'll make you sign a statement that says "I have given Bettina permission to touch herself to Neil's music videos, Lenny's West Side story, and any classical piece that she likes."


Yes, we'll work out the legalities. This won't be a problem. 

Keep in mind that I work hard. I'm out of the house at work/commuting to work 12.5-13 hours a day 4 days a week. You'll have plenty of time for your own activities and I won't be too strict as far as what you can do during them. I actually like some of these activities you think I don't like! Maybe we can set up a camera (with no microphone of course) so I can watch at work! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yes, we'll work out the legalities. This won't be a problem.
> 
> Keep in mind that I work hard. I'm out of the house at work/commuting to work 12.5-13 hours a day 4 days a week. You'll have plenty of time for your own activities and I won't be too strict as far as what you can do during them. I actually like some of these activities you think I don't like! Maybe we can set up a camera (*with no microphone of course*) so I can watch at work! :devil:


Yeah, we'd definitely have to turn off the audio. Your colleagues would be freaked out if they heard your wife screaming "Ludwig, **** me with your ear trumpet!" :lol: :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, we'd definitely have to turn off the audio. Your colleagues would be freaked out if they heard your wife screaming "Ludwig, **** me with your ear trumpet!" :lol: :lol:


Most of the people I work most closely with are men. I don't think they'll mind weird stuff like that! :lol: I don't even have speakers at work since a lot of people come up to me and need my attention throughout the day. I like to keep it professional. I make sure they don't know that I'm talking about self-touching on a classical music forum!


----------



## Klassik

STI: The Total Awesomeness of Klassik

Wait, that's not a stupid thread idea! That's a brilliant thread idea! Who wants to start this thread? 

I had an interesting thought while composing a reply about audio formats on the main forum. We know how Bettina wants the "Beethoven experience." Given that, she probably wants her partner to be deaf. How would she achieve this? Ear plugs and muffs aren't sexy (though some might question how unsexiness the word 'muff')! I bet you her moans are so loud as to cause hearing loss! 

As far as simulating Beethoven's Irritable Bowl Disease, well, just skip Bettina's pre-relational meal! 

I'm not really sure why these thoughts came to my mind! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> STI: The Total Awesomeness of Klassik
> 
> Wait, that's not a stupid thread idea! That's a brilliant thread idea! Who wants to start this thread?
> 
> I had an interesting thought while composing a reply about audio formats on the main forum. We know how Bettina wants the "Beethoven experience." Given that, she probably wants her partner to be deaf. How would she achieve this? Ear plugs and muffs aren't sexy (though some might question how unsexiness the word 'muff')! I bet you her moans are so loud as to cause hearing loss!
> 
> As far as simulating Beethoven's Irritable Bowl Disease, well, just skip Bettina's pre-relational meal!
> 
> I'm not really sure why these thoughts came to my mind! :devil:


That's a great point - if I moan loudly enough, then my partner might lose his hearing, which would help to create the authentic Beethoven experience.

It's true that ear plugs are not sexy. However, ear trumpets actually are sexy because of the shape (as I hinted in my previous post, about telling Ludwig to **** me with his ear trumpet).


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's a great point - if I moan loudly enough, then my partner might lose his hearing, which would help to create the authentic Beethoven experience.
> 
> It's true that ear plugs are not sexy. However, ear trumpets actually are sexy because of the shape (as I hinted in my previous post, about telling Ludwig to **** me with his ear trumpet).


What's your number one reason for wanting to have sex with someone with ear trumpets, because Beethoven wore them or because of their somewhat phallic nature? :lol: I realize it's both, but I'm looking for the main reason here.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> What's your number one reason for wanting to have sex with someone with ear trumpets, because Beethoven wore them or because of their somewhat phallic nature? :lol: I realize it's both, but I'm looking for the main reason here.


It's mainly because Beethoven wore them, but the phallic shape adds to the eroticism too. A hearing aid wouldn't be nearly as sexy! Actually, I'm not even sure how a hearing aid looks, but I'm sure that it's not phallic.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It's mainly because Beethoven wore them, but the phallic shape adds to the eroticism too. A hearing aid wouldn't be nearly as sexy! Actually, I'm not even sure how a hearing aid looks, but I'm sure that it's not phallic.


No, I don't think hearing aids look phallic at all!

Do you use time period sex toys when fantasizing about Beethoven? I'm not even sure what women used for sex toys back then. Surely they had something more than a pine cone or something! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> No, I don't think hearing aids look phallic at all!
> 
> Do you use time period sex toys when fantasizing about Beethoven? I'm not even sure what women used for sex toys back then. Surely they had something more than a pine cone or something! :lol:


I've never tried any Historically Informed Sex Toys. I've seen pictures of 19th-century vibrators and they look pretty scary! Some of them are huge and they look like grotesque eggbeaters. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've never tried any Historically Informed Sex Toys. I've seen pictures of 19th-century vibrators and they look pretty scary! Some of them are huge and they look like grotesque eggbeaters. :lol:


I figured they had sex toys back then, but it's hard to imagine them having vibrators back then! I guess you've done some research into this topic. I can't imagine someone sticking an eggbeater in there! It might literally beat eggs! :lol:

Maybe it's just my dirty mind, but the idea of female sex toys (and perhaps the HIP use of them) throughout history is interesting. I'm guessing notions of female touching has changed over time. I know they used to "touch" women to help "cure" them of hysteria back in the day! No wonder there were so many hysterical women back then! 

Maybe I'm sticking my head too far into the basement with this one (feel free to slap me if I am :devil, but do you have favorite toys? Or are you a hands-only girl? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I figured they had sex toys back then, but it's hard to imagine them having vibrators back then! I guess you've done some research into this topic. I can't imagine someone sticking an eggbeater in there! It might literally beat eggs! :lol:
> 
> Maybe it's just my dirty mind, but the idea of female sex toys (and perhaps the HIP use of them) throughout history is interesting. I'm guessing notions of female touching has changed over time. I know they used to "touch" women to help "cure" them of hysteria back in the day! No wonder there were so many hysterical women back then!
> 
> Maybe I'm sticking my head too far into the basement with this one (feel free to slap me if I am :devil, but do you have favorite toys? Or are you a hands-only girl? :lol:


I prefer to use my fingers instead of toys. Maybe it's because I'm a pianist, so it feels natural for me to have manual contact with my instrument!

The whole hysteria thing is fascinating. It's totally crazy how women had to get orgasms from the doctor, because they weren't supposed to touch themselves. They weren't even supposed to enjoy sex with their husbands. Their only opportunity for relief was in the doctor's office.

I wonder if I would go in for that treatment if it were available nowadays? In order to set the mood, I would probably have to play my DVD of Bernstein conducting the Ninth. I hope the doctor would have a DVD player available in his office! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I prefer to use my fingers instead of toys. Maybe it's because I'm a pianist, so it feels natural for me to have manual contact with my instrument!
> 
> The whole hysteria thing is fascinating. It's totally crazy how women had to get orgasms from the doctor, because they weren't supposed to touch themselves. They weren't even supposed to enjoy sex with their husbands. Their only opportunity for relief was in the doctor's office.
> 
> I wonder if I would go in for that treatment if it were available nowadays? In order to set the mood, I would probably have to play my DVD of Bernstein conducting the Ninth. I hope the doctor would have a DVD player available in his office!


An all-natural girl, huh? I like it! :devil: I could ask more questions. I don't think you'd mind (maybe you even enjoy them), but the rest of STI might become even more inclined to throw me overboard! Of course, they'd probably rather hear about you touching yourself than about me touching myself! :lol:

Well, you wouldn't enjoy sex with your real-life husband, would you? :lol: Maybe we'll have to find some sort of dead doctor for you to have hysterical fantasies about!  But, yeah, it's amazing how ignorant people are about sex. As bad as those historical stories are, there's still female genital mutilation going on. Of course, don't get me started about male mutilation! I'm so glad my parents had common sense!

I could see you committing yourself for treatment! Maybe you can start a clinic. Instead of the Betty Ford clinic, it will be the Bettina Beethoven clinic for hysterical women! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> An all-natural girl, huh? I like it! :devil: I could ask more questions. I don't think you'd mind (maybe you even enjoy them), but the rest of STI might become even more inclined to throw me overboard! Of course, they'd probably rather hear about you touching yourself than about me touching myself! :lol:
> 
> *Well, you wouldn't enjoy sex with your real-life husband, would you?* :lol: Maybe we'll have to find some sort of dead doctor for you to have hysterical fantasies about!  But, yeah, it's amazing how ignorant people are about sex. As bad as those historical stories are, there's still female genital mutilation going on. Of course, don't get me started about male mutilation! I'm so glad my parents had common sense!
> 
> I could see you committing yourself for treatment! Maybe you can start a clinic. Instead of the Betty Ford clinic, it will be the Bettina Beethoven clinic for hysterical women! :devil:


Yeah, it's weird, but I'd actually enjoy the hysteria treatment much more than sex with a loving partner! It's because the hysteria treatment would be highly impersonal, not really about connecting with the other person. The doctor would be fully dressed and I wouldn't have to interact with him too much. I would be completely free to drift off into my fantasy world. I do enjoy being touched by others, as long as I can just tune out the other person and focus on my fantasies.

I would probably not be anyone's dream partner, because I basically just want to lie back and be pleasured, and I want to ignore my partner in favor of my fantasies!! But that's not how sex works in the real world; it would be pretty much impossible to find a partner who was willing to be ignored. I wish there were male prostitutes who would service women, but that kind of service doesn't seem to exist. Anyway, it wouldn't be safe...who knows what kind of sleazebags those guys might be? If only I could just go to a doctor and get the job done!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, it's weird, but I'd actually enjoy the hysteria treatment much more than sex with a loving partner! It's because the hysteria treatment would be highly impersonal, not really about connecting with the other person. The doctor would be fully dressed and I wouldn't have to interact with him too much. I would be completely free to drift off into my fantasy world. I do enjoy being touched by others, as long as I can just tune out the other person and focus on my fantasies.
> 
> I would probably not be anyone's dream partner, because I basically just want to lie back and be pleasured, and I want to ignore my partner in favor of my fantasies!! But that's not how sex works in the real world; it would be pretty much impossible to find a partner who was willing to be ignored. I wish there were male prostitutes who would service women, but that kind of service doesn't seem to exist. Anyway, it wouldn't be safe...who knows what kind of sleazebags those guys might be? If only I could just go to a doctor and get the job done!


We're now getting to the point where some STIers might be grabbing their barf bags! But this is fascinating to me at least.

Maybe it's possible for someone to enjoy an orgasm so much that they just get lost in their own world and can't attend to the partner's needs? I don't know. I really don't think your desires are all that odd. Maybe it's possible for two people to have a healthy sexual relationship with just foreplay/touching basically? I can't really say that I've thought about it before, but it's possible. It could work if each partner gave time to each other for such activities. It may not be common, but I could see it working. Would you not want traditional sex at all though?

Well, I would be willing to "serve" you, but I don't know about staying dressed! You know that's a problem for me even under normal circumstances! Maybe you'll just have to not get any sort of visuals. 

There probably are male prostitutes, but I don't know. As odd as it may sound, maybe men just seem less willing to sell themselves for sex. Maybe there just isn't a market for it, but I think women have desires just like men. I don't know. I've never done a lot of research in this area, but I'm guessing you have since it's important to you.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> We're now getting to the point where some STIers might be grabbing their barf bags! But this is fascinating to me at least.
> 
> Maybe it's possible for someone to enjoy an orgasm so much that they just get lost in their own world and can't attend to the partner's needs? I don't know. I really don't think your desires are all that odd. Maybe it's possible for two people to have a healthy sexual relationship with just foreplay/touching basically? I can't really say that I've thought about it before, but it's possible. It could work if each partner gave time to each other for such activities. It may not be common, but I could see it working. Would you not want traditional sex at all though?
> 
> Well, I would be willing to "serve" you, but I don't know about staying dressed! You know that's a problem for me even under normal circumstances! Maybe you'll just have to not get any sort of visuals.
> 
> There probably are male prostitutes, but I don't know. As odd as it may sound, maybe men just seem less willing to sell themselves for sex. Maybe there just isn't a market for it, but I think women have desires just like men. I don't know. I've never done a lot of research in this area, but I'm guessing you have since it's important to you.


I probably wouldn't want traditional sex, because it would be basically impossible to tune out my partner in that context! I would have to wear earplugs and a blindfold to accomplish that feat. :lol:

I'm glad that this is fascinating to you! I know that I have odd sexual desires, most of which revolve around being alone with my fantasies. It's weird, how in my fantasies I imagine a profound emotional connection with Ludwig/Lenny/Neil/etc, but that's not something that I actually want in real life. It's just something that I enjoy imagining, usually focusing on men whom I have no chance of meeting (either because they're dead or because they're unattainable celebrities).


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I probably wouldn't want traditional sex, because it would be basically impossible to tune out my partner in that context! I would have to wear earplugs and a blindfold to accomplish that feat. :lol:
> 
> I'm glad that this is fascinating to you! I know that I have odd sexual desires, most of which revolve around being alone with my fantasies. It's weird, how in my fantasies I imagine a profound emotional connection with Ludwig/Lenny/Neil/etc, but that's not something that I actually want in real life. It's just something that I enjoy imagining, usually focusing on men whom I have no chance of meeting (either because they're dead or because they're unattainable celebrities).


This could go into a ton of different directions, some you probably wouldn't want to go into, but maybe you've never met anyone worth fantasizing about. Maybe not, I don't know. Some people develop hang ups about sex/emotional intimacy and so forth. It could be any number of things. Of course, maybe there's nothing at all wrong with you and you're just wired like that! I don't want to imply that there is a disorder. It's hard to say when you're external to the situation.

I know we're drifting away from sexy talk, but perhaps you've been around the music/entertainment world for such a long time that some sense of the "real world" is missing? I don't know, and this again implies that something is "wrong." I don't know, I'm just trying to understand your world. I run into a lot of students at work who have almost no sense of reality because their entire childhood has been about entertainment - TV, movies, music, sports, and so forth. I don't know. I hope you don't mind me digging deeper into it. I'm really not trying to find fault or anything, I'm just trying to understand!


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Thread Idea - Poll: Is Bettina attracted to Beethoven because his double chin looks like balls? 

:lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> If we got married, I'd certainly let you have a say in choosing the playlist. Perhaps every morning we could plan out the daily soundtrack for my auto-touching activities!
> 
> We'll have to make all of this official in our prenup contract. I'll make you sign a statement that says "I have given Bettina permission to touch herself to Neil's music videos, Lenny's West Side story, and any classical piece that she likes."


We will have to give you guys a name like TomCat maybe something like Bettasik


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> We will have to give you guys a nme like TomCat maybe something like *Bettasik*


More like Bettassik! Anything involving ole' Klassik needs the 'a' and 'ss' together! :lol: Plus, I'm quite sure Bettina has a noteworthy one of those too! :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Just for Klassik


----------



## hpowders

If you remain trapped in one TC thread exclusively, are you in a state of suspended cyberification?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> This could go into a ton of different directions, some you probably wouldn't want to go into, but maybe you've never met anyone worth fantasizing about. Maybe not, I don't know. Some people develop hang ups about sex/emotional intimacy and so forth. It could be any number of things. Of course, maybe there's nothing at all wrong with you and you're just wired like that! I don't want to imply that there is a disorder. It's hard to say when you're external to the situation.
> 
> I know we're drifting away from sexy talk, but perhaps you've been around the music/entertainment world for such a long time that some sense of the "real world" is missing? I don't know, and this again implies that something is "wrong." I don't know, I'm just trying to understand your world. I run into a lot of students at work who have almost no sense of reality because their entire childhood has been about entertainment - TV, movies, music, sports, and so forth. I don't know. I hope you don't mind me digging deeper into it. I'm really not trying to find fault or anything, I'm just trying to understand!


Those are good questions, but I'd better not go into any more detail about my psyche - that's not supposed to be the point of the STI thread! I don't want to completely transform STI into BTT (Bettina's Therapy Thread). :lol:


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> Klassik would also like to add that Klassik finds it interesting how Klassik gets the blame for the current rhetoric in STI. Klassik has a big ego so Klassik will accept blame for the matters, but Klassik would also like to add that it takes two to tango (well, unless you're Bettina )!


Nah, consider it a compliment.


----------



## Bettina

That moment when STI turned into "Bettina's psychological disorders..."  If I tried to explain all my psychological disorders here on STI, the thread would soon get too big for the TC bandwidth to handle!! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Okay females, is there anything like this in the Baroque Era?


----------



## hpowders

I'm a night person. So Mozart would be better for me than early Beethoven?


----------



## hpowders

Choose a name for my daughter, who turns 16 tomorrow:

1. Cacophoni

2. Dodecaphoni

3. Stephoni

I need to do this so she won't run away from home. She is currently locked up in the cellar.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I'm a night person. So Mozart would be better for me than early Beethoven?


Eine Kleine Nachtmusik would be perfect for a night person! Definitely avoid Grieg's chirpy Morning Mood - what kind of freak could possibly be so cheerful first thing in the morning??


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Eine Kleine Nachtmusik would be perfect for a night person! Definitely avoid Grieg's chirpy Morning Mood - what kind of freak could possibly be so cheerful first thing in the morning??


A freak named hpowders!!! I'm a morning person. Give me your number and I will wake you up with a cheerful phone call!! :lol::lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Those are good questions, but I'd better not go into any more detail about my psyche - that's not supposed to be the point of the STI thread! I don't want to completely transform STI into BTT (Bettina's Therapy Thread).





Bettina said:


> That moment when STI turned into "Bettina's psychological disorders..."  If I tried to explain all my psychological disorders here on STI, the thread would soon get too big for the TC bandwidth to handle!!


We've finally found a limit to Bettina's exhibitionism! Maybe this is why the site has been so slow lately?  I hope you didn't mind my questions, but I am intrigued! Maybe it's my background in psychology, but my dirty mind has to be a factor as well! :devil:



hpowders said:


> Okay females, is there anything like this in the Baroque Era?


I'd imagine that there would have to be! The beauty of the harpsichord leads me to do a lot of touching! I know I'm not a female, but I figured I'd throw my views into the mix!



Jacred said:


> Nah, consider it a compliment.


Too late, I already did! :tiphat:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just for Klassik


Thanks! Ultimately, this has to be my favorite piece of music that I know about. Yeah, I love classical music, but where are you going to find something better than this? Then again, I'm sure Mozart wrote something about female touching, but I'm just not aware of it!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> We've finally found a limit to Bettina's exhibitionism! Maybe this is why the site has been so slow lately?  I hope you didn't mind my questions, but I am intrigued! Maybe it's my background in psychology, but my dirty mind has to be a factor as well! :devil:


Don't worry, I didn't mind your questions. I'm flattered by your interest and curiosity. But yes, it is true that I have (amazingly enough!) reached my limit for sharing personal material on TC - at least for now. Who knows, maybe at some point in the future I'll be in the mood for further disclosures. For now, though, I'm going to keep a few cats in the bag!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Don't worry, I didn't mind your questions. I'm flattered by your interest and curiosity. But yes, it is true that I have (amazingly enough!) reached my limit for sharing personal material on TC - at least for now. Who knows, maybe at some point in the future I'll be in the mood for further disclosures. For now, though, I'm going to keep a few cats in the bag!


Is that a euphemism for keeping your panties on? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Is that a euphemism for keeping your panties on? :lol:


LOL! No, I have no intention of keeping my panties on! I'm happy to talk about my "area," but not my psyche! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> LOL! No, I have no intention of keeping my panties on! I'm happy to talk about my "area," but not my psyche! :lol:


Ok, good! I was getting worried there! I thought for a minute there that you would expect me to put some pants or underwear on as well! :devil:

What would STI be without us having our underwear off? :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Make a sex noise!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Make a sex noise!


I can do this service for the forum if STI is interested! :devil:

STI: What vocal range are your sexual moans and grunts in?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Just for Bettina lol!


----------



## JeffD

Bettina said:


> Who knows, maybe at some point in the future I'll be in the mood for further disclosures. For now, though, I'm going to keep a few cats in the bag!


Be the bikini - what shows is enticing, what is hidden is critical.


----------



## Klassik

JeffD said:


> Be the bikini - what shows is enticing, what is hidden is critical.


Bettina's bikinis are wonderful, but she's even better with them off! :devil:

Her granny panties, OTOH,


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Bettina's bikinis are wonderful, but she's even better with them off! :devil:
> 
> Her granny panties, OTOH,


Oh, yeah, I forgot to include those in my list of why I would be a horrible girlfriend/wife! Too bad that I've missed the deadline for editing that post! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Oh, yeah, I forgot to include those in my list of why I would be a horrible girlfriend/wife! Too bad that I've missed the deadline for editing that post! :lol:


Well, you wouldn't be the only woman with that monthly problem. Well, unless yours is worse than usual!  In which case, we might have to call Gesualdo! :lol:

We'll focus on the positives. The bikinis. Actually, what's under the bikinis! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> *Well, you wouldn't be the only woman with that monthly problem. * Well, unless yours is worse than usual!  In which case, we might have to call Gesualdo! :lol:
> 
> We'll focus on the positives. The bikinis. Actually, what's under the bikinis! :devil:


Yeah, but not all women wear granny panties during that time of the month (perhaps this calls for a TC poll!) My periods are actually fairly light, but I wear granny panties anyway because I'm paranoid about getting any stains on my nice panties.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, but not all women wear granny panties during that time of the month (perhaps this calls for a TC poll!) My periods are actually fairly light, but I wear granny panties anyway because I'm paranoid about getting any stains on my nice panties.


This probably constitutes an STI, but we know about the complexities of men's underwear. Everyone has a comfort preference. What about women's panties?

I don't know what women wear at that time of the month. It's usually time to take a vacation anyway, there's not much to see or do down there even if the woman isn't too moody! :lol:

Do you ever have any fantasies about Carlo Gesualdo during that time of the month?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> This probably constitutes an STI, but we know about the complexities of men's underwear. Everyone has a comfort preference. What about women's panties?
> 
> I don't know what women wear at that time of the month. It's usually time to take a vacation anyway, there's not much to see or do down there even if the woman isn't too moody! :lol:
> 
> Do you ever have any fantasies about Carlo Gesualdo during that time of the month?


Gesualdo's music doesn't turn me on, no matter what time of month it is. I'm sure that he'd love to drink at the well, so to speak, but the Renaissance musical style doesn't float my boat.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Gesualdo's music doesn't turn me on, no matter what time of month it is. I'm sure that he'd love to drink at the well, so to speak, but the Renaissance musical style doesn't float my boat.


Poor Gesualdo. We won't tell him what you said! We'd miss you tremendously here on STI! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

STI based on a real comment on the main forum:



> But it's not against nature to listen to electrical signal amplified, translated into vibrating cones, etc?


STI: Are vibrating cones against nature?

:lol:


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> This could work in ole' Klassik's favor too! You think you know who I am, but maybe I'm really a woman in Brazil pretending to be a male classical music fan in Houston who wants to sleep with you! What do you really know about me? :lol:
> 
> Of course, you could be a 56 year old dude in China. Who knows!


I know, right? STI conspiracy theory: Bettina is just an Internet persona created by Beethoven (with a time machine) to help deal with his rejection by women. Explains why she is so infatuated with Beethoven...


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> I know, right? STI conspiracy theory: Bettina is just an Internet persona created by Beethoven (with a time machine) to help deal with his rejection by women. Explains why she is so infatuated with Beethoven...


Completely false! Beethoven would never be able to write so knowledgeably about periods, panties, bushes and female self-pleasure techniques. (However, I'm sure that he could write a lot about male self-pleasure techniques! )


----------



## Jacred

> But it's not against nature to listen to electrical signal amplified, translated into vibrating cones, etc?


Hmm....electrical signals from brain, amplified by stimulus, translated into physical movement....


----------



## Jacred

Bettina said:


> Completely false! Beethoven would never be able to write so knowledgeably about periods, panties, bushes and female self-pleasure techniques. (However, I'm sure that he could write a lot about male self-pleasure techniques! )


Haha, he should have researched that stuff for the Erotica.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Completely false! Beethoven would never be able to write so knowledgeably about periods, panties, bushes and female self-pleasure techniques. (However, I'm sure that he could write a lot about male self-pleasure techniques! )


Do you think Beethoven touched himself? I'm sure he thought about it, but then dunked his head in a bucket of water! :lol:



Jacred said:


> Hmm....electrical signals from brain, amplified by stimulus, translated into physical movement....


Sounds natural to me. It sounds like STI!


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> Haha, he should have researched that stuff for the Erotica.


He probably wanted to, but he couldn't find a willing research partner. Too bad that I wasn't born yet!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> *Do you think Beethoven touched himself? * I'm sure he thought about it, but then dunked his head in a bucket of water! :lol:


He probably did. I'm sure that scholars have found s*men on his sketchbooks (asterisk added to avoid possible TC censorship). :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> He probably did. I'm sure that scholars have found s*men on his sketchbooks (asterisk added to avoid possible TC censorship). :lol:


Really? 

You're wanting to get your hands on these sketchbooks, yes? :lol:


----------



## Jacred

Bettina said:


> He probably wanted to, but he couldn't find a willing research partner. Too bad that I wasn't born yet!


Thought experiment:

If we dropped Bettina off in early 1800s Vienna, how would the course of music be affected?


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Thought experiment:
> 
> If we dropped Bettina off in early 1800s Vienna, how would the course of music be affected?


Beethoven would turn into Schumann!


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> Thought experiment:
> 
> If we dropped Bettina off in early 1800s Vienna, how would the course of music be affected?


Beethoven would become even more productive because of my support and sexual favors!


----------



## Jacred

Bettina said:


> He probably did. I'm sure that scholars have found s*men on his sketchbooks (asterisk added to avoid possible TC censorship). :lol:


He ran out of ink and....uh....had a very inspirational idea that he needed to....jot down....


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Beethoven would become even more productive because of my support and sexual favors!


I don't know, sexual happiness can lead to complacency! 



Jacred said:


> He ran out of ink and....uh....had a very inspirational idea that he needed to....jot down....


Well, maybe that's where the word "pen" came from! 

All I know is that I have one hell of a magic marker! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Beethoven would turn into Schumann!


Not a chance. I'm totally clean - my only STI is the Stupid Thread Ideas forum! After all, my primary form of sexual activity is solo play. No risk of catching anything from that.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Not a chance. I'm totally clean - my only STI is the Stupid Thread Ideas forum! After all, my primary form of sexual activity is solo play. No risk of catching anything from that.


Yeah, but he would have been so busy that he would have rubbed a hole in it!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I don't know, sexual happiness can lead to complacency!


Good point. I wouldn't want Beethoven to lose the aggressive edge in his music, so I'd better not give him too much sex. Maybe I'll just give him sex every other day. On the "days off," I can touch myself to thoughts of my other love interests (Neil Diamond, Bernstein, Liszt, Tchaikovsky...)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Good point. I wouldn't want Beethoven to lose the aggressive edge in his music, so I'd better not give him too much sex. Maybe I'll just give him sex every other day. On the "days off," I can touch myself to thoughts of my other love interests (Neil Diamond, Bernstein, Liszt, Tchaikovsky...)


Careful. If you mention how great Bernstein is, Beethoven might try to compose like him!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Careful. If you mention how great Bernstein is, Beethoven might try to compose like him!


Uh-oh, I'd better be very careful. I should also be extra-careful not to mention Neil Diamond!  Actually, I probably won't tell Beethoven about any of my other love interests. I don't want to make him jealous or upset.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Uh-oh, I'd better be very careful. I should also be extra-careful not to mention Neil Diamond!  Actually, I probably won't tell Beethoven about any of my other love interests. I don't want to make him jealous or upset.


Oh no, we don't want Beethoven knowing about Neil Diamond! 

What would you tell him about ole' Klassik? If he gets too comfortable, will you tell him that Klassik from the 21st century says that he's good, but no Bach or Mozart? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Oh no, we don't want Beethoven knowing about Neil Diamond!
> 
> What would you tell him about ole' Klassik? If he gets too comfortable, will you tell him that Klassik from the 21st century says that he's good, but no Bach or Mozart? :lol:


I might tell him that, but I won't tell him that you and I flirt with each other on TC.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I might tell him that, but I won't tell him that you and I flirt with each other on TC.


I think you would need to take me to Vienna with you so I can be your bodyguard. There would be a riot in Vienna if they saw a beautiful woman walking about in her thong panties like that! And I'm talking about today, it would be even more wild in the 19th century! :devil:

Stupid Poll Idea: What would you do if you had a time machine?
1. Tell Lincoln not to visit the theater
2. Tell Kennedy not to go to Dallas
3. Tell Tchaikovsky not to drink the water
4. Have sex with Beethoven


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I think you would need to take me to Vienna with you so I can be your bodyguard. There would be a riot in Vienna if they saw a beautiful woman walking about in her thong panties like that! And I'm talking about today, it would be even more wild in the 19th century! :devil:
> 
> Stupid Poll Idea: What would you do if you had a time machine?
> 1. Tell Lincoln not to visit the theater
> 2. Tell Kennedy not to go to Dallas
> 3. Tell Tchaikovsky not to drink the water
> 4. Have sex with Beethoven


3 and 4. During my visit where I would warn Tchaikovsky, I might see if he'd be up for some action (I'd gladly let him crack his nuts against my back door).*

*Wow, this lame attempt at a Nutcracker pun really didn't work - it ended up sounding way too violent. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> 3 and 4. During my visit where I would warn Tchaikovsky, I might see if he'd be up for some action (I'd gladly let him crack his nuts against my back door).*
> 
> *Wow, this lame attempt at a Nutcracker pun really didn't work - it ended up sounding way too violent. :lol:


Against or inside your back door? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Against or inside your back door? :lol:


Well, his you-know-what could go inside my back door, and his nuts would be pressing up against my a**. (I guess that's how it would work...I've never done the backdoor stuff before.)


----------



## Bettina

^Also, I don't even know if back door should be one word or two. When it comes to a**l sex, my grammar skills are failing me!


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> I don't know, sexual happiness can lead to complacency!


And kids*....or is that taboo here?

*Wonder how that would have turned out for Ludwig.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Well, his you-know-what could go inside my back door, and his nuts would be pressing up against my a**. (I guess that's how it would work...I've never done the backdoor stuff before.)


Neither have I! I guess you're right, his nuts would be knocking on the door while he takes care of business on the inside. I'm not sure how this works and for some reason my mind isn't wanting to visualize it either! I'm sure your sexual groans are beautiful, but we'd probably have to give you a pillow to bite on for that experience!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> ^Also, I don't even know if back door should be one word or two. When it comes to a**l sex, my grammar skills are failing me!


Wow, Bettina struggling with the English language! This is unchartered territory. Kind of like buttsex. :lol:



Jacred said:


> And kids*....or is that taboo here?
> 
> *Wonder how that would have turned out for Ludwig.


Good question. Would you make Beethoven wear protection? I mean a condom, not Right Guard! :lol:

Well, we know what kind of uncle Beethoven was. A terrible one who led his nephew to attempt suicide. Don't act surprised!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Wow, Bettina struggling with the English language! This is unchartered territory. Kind of like buttsex. :lol:
> 
> Good question. Would you make Beethoven wear protection? I mean a condom, not Right Guard! :lol:
> 
> Well, we know what kind of uncle Beethoven was. A terrible one who led his nephew to attempt suicide. Don't act surprised!


I agree, Beethoven would be a terrible father! I'll be sure to bring along several boxes of condoms - they didn't have any back in the early 19th century. I'm not sure what to do if I run out...maybe I can make a quick trip back to the 21st century and stop at Walmart for a condom run? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I agree, Beethoven would be a terrible father! I'll be sure to bring along several boxes of condoms - they didn't have any back in the early 19th century. I'm not sure what to do if I run out...maybe I can make a quick trip back to the 21st century and stop at Walmart for a condom run? :lol:


I did visit an Aldi (I think) in Vienna, but I don't think they had those back then! :lol: You'd probably have to make one out of a goat's stomach or something!  They say that condoms take the fun out of sex. Well, that case, they really would be right! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I did visit an Aldi (I think) in Vienna, but I don't think they had those back then! :lol: You'd probably have to make one out of a goat's stomach or something!  They say that condoms take the fun out of sex. Well, that case, they really would be right! :devil:


I wonder if music manuscript paper would work? We could wrap his **** in it.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I wonder if music manuscript paper would work? We could wrap his **** in it.


Would that count as a quarter note? :lol: Klassik only has whole notes! :devil: Well, maybe not, I certainly have a stem! 

I don't think that'll work very well. It'll drip. Plus, you may get paper cuts!  Also, he might ruin a masterpiece he just finished just so you could give him a quickie! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Would that count as a quarter note? :lol: Klassik only has whole notes! :devil: Well, maybe not, I certainly have a stem!
> 
> I don't think that'll work very well. It'll drip. Plus, you may get paper cuts!  Also, he might ruin a masterpiece he just finished just so you could give him a quickie! :lol:


This reminds me of something I read: apparently Haydn's wife sometimes used his manuscripts as wrappers for fish! At least in this case, the manuscript wouldn't end up smelling fishy...or maybe it would, if I adopted Ludwig's bathing habits!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> This reminds me of something I read: apparently Haydn's wife sometimes used his manuscripts as wrappers for fish! At least in this case, the manuscript wouldn't end up smelling fishy...or maybe it would, if I adopted Ludwig's bathing habits!


I don't know, cum smells kind of fishy anyway!  It's a strange substance! I'm sure STI is loving this description! But, yeah, Ludwig's bad odors would get on everything! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

To the management: as a satirist/comedian, my posts depend on exquisite timing. The ability to post only thrice an hour, upsets my world. I can thus no longer guarantee that my posts can be funny/witty anymore.
Instead, you will find me on the atonal and Wagner threads constructing boring but fluent multi-paragraph pseudo-intellectual treatises as everyone else.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Instead, you will find me on the atonal and Wagner threads constructing boring but fluent multi-paragraph pseudo-intellectual treatises as everyone else.


But those threads offer the best comedy!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I don't know, cum smells kind of fishy anyway!  It's a strange substance! I'm sure STI is loving this description! But, yeah, Ludwig's bad odors would get on everything! :lol:


So my butler Waldstein tells me. One of his many duties.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> This reminds me of something I read: apparently Haydn's wife sometimes used his manuscripts as wrappers for fish! At least in this case, the manuscript wouldn't end up smelling fishy...or maybe it would, if I adopted Ludwig's bathing habits!


He shoulda looked for a wife on eHarmony.com and found a classical music lover.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> So my butler Waldstein tells me. One of his many duties.


Waldstein must be very lucky, huh?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I don't know, cum smells kind of fishy anyway!  It's a strange substance! I'm sure STI is loving this description! But, yeah, Ludwig's bad odors would get on everything! :lol:


Thanks. Good to know. That will save me $7.69 a week on canned tuna. I'll simply make my own!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Waldstein must be very lucky, huh?


No. I had to offer him Obamacare, otherwise he woulda quit.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Thanks. Good to know. That will save me $7.69 a week on canned tuna. I'll simply make my own!!


It is Chicken of the Sea after all! 

In oil or without? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> It is Chicken of the Sea after all!
> 
> In oil or without? :lol:


In oil. White albacore. Bumble Bee. Right out of the can.

I won't need to buy it anymore thanks to your helpful post.

I guess femáles should be the only ones that need buy it.

Don't forget to pay the sales tax on it, or you will get a visit from the Federáles!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> In oil. White albacore. Bumble Bee. Right out of the can.
> 
> I won't need to buy it anymore thanks to your helpful post.
> 
> I guess femáles should be the only ones that need buy it.


Does the can sound like Rimsky-Korsakov? 

Women don't need to buy anything. Klassik is willing to share? Who wants some? :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> *Does the can sound like Rimsky-Korsakov?*
> 
> Yeah. A little. I thought I was the only one to notice.


----------



## hpowders

My Postum jar sounds a bit like Monteverdi, which of course sounds a slight bit like Wagner.

I'm pretty sure I am correct. I hate making any classical music eras.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Klassik said:
> 
> 
> 
> *Does the can sound like Rimsky-Korsakov?*
> 
> Yeah. A little. I thought I was the only one to notice.
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe I should have said RimsKY-Korsakov!
> 
> Need any cocktail sauce, h? I can hook you up with that too! I'm in a charitable mood tonight with the new Sears catalog and all. :lol:
Click to expand...


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> hpowders said:
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe I should have said RimsKY-Korsakov!
> 
> Need any cocktail sauce, h? I can hook you up with that too! I'm in a charitable mood tonight with the new Sears catalog and all. :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> Would that be their famous "going out of business for good" catalog?
Click to expand...


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> My Postum jar sounds a bit like Monteverdi, which of course sounds a slight bit like Wagner.
> 
> I'm pretty sure I am correct. I hate making any classical music eras.


Makes sense to me. I think the two of them were spotted together last week at a meeting of Illinois Nazis. I'm not sure if they were drinking Postum or not.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Klassik said:
> 
> 
> 
> Would that be their famous "going out of business for good" catalog?
> 
> 
> 
> It sounds like it, but I hope not! I already miss buying my water beds from Montgomery Ward! :devil:
Click to expand...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Breaking News from the Whitehouse trump has new idea for border wall- Opera PA speakers will be install along the border playing 24/7 Wagner Opera's - sure to keep all away............ A ring fence concept :devil:

Any suggestion as to which opera's they should use.


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Breaking News from the Whitehouse trump has new idea for border wall- Opera PA speakers will be install along the border playing 24/7 Wagner Opera's - sure to keep all away............ A ring fence concept :devil:
> 
> Any suggestion as to which opera's they should use.


Ride of the Walkuries on a continuous loop. Works for me. I haven't had a visitor for years.


----------



## hpowders

Why should I learn to play an instrument? When I die, I will forget all that ****.


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> Why should I learn to play an instrument? When I die, I will forget all that ****.


Playing an instrument increases your chances of going to Heaven by 5% per instrument. On average. Fact.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Playing an instrument increases your chances of going to Heaven by 5% per instrument. On average. Fact.


I won't believe this unless you can get authentication from the final arbiter of TC Truths: The Wagner Thread Bored of Directors.


----------



## hpowders

TC Accountant Services: Automatically updates your 5 favorite composers in real time.

Reasonable. Bitcoin.


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Playing an instrument increases your chances of going to Heaven by 5% per instrument. On average. Fact.


Wait, this is STI. Are we talking about musical instruments, masturbatorial (not a word, but maybe this will get past the censor) practices, or both? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Wait, this is STI. Are we talking about musical instruments, masturbatorial (not a word, but maybe this will get past the censor) practices, or both? :devil:


I go to Heaven every time I finger my instrument!! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I go to Heaven every time I finger my instrument!! :devil:


You're assuming that Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and Bernstein are there. :devil: Liszt seemed to have inside connections to the church, he'll be fine!

But you do like playing your "harp" like an angel! :angel:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You're assuming that Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and Bernstein are there. :devil: Liszt seemed to have inside connections to the church, he'll be fine!
> 
> But you do like playing your "harp" like an angel! :angel:


I'm sure that all the great musicians are in Heaven, being rewarded for their brilliant contributions to mankind! God is willing to overlook minor things like buttsex when it comes (heh, heh) to a great composer.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm sure that all the great musicians are in Heaven, being rewarded for their brilliant contributions to mankind! God is willing to overlook minor things like buttsex when it comes (heh, heh) to a great composer.


Maybe so, it's hard to say! I just thought of whether buttsex would be approved from a religious perspective. I'm guessing not since it's not "reproductive," but then neither are pieholes either.  Some interesting thoughts here this morning on STI! :lol:

If you're a great pianist, are you guaranteed a spot in heaven? As a non-musician myself, I guess I'm in trouble! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Maybe so, it's hard to say! I just thought of whether buttsex would be approved from a religious perspective. I'm guessing not since it's not "reproductive," but then neither are pieholes either.  Some interesting thoughts here this morning on STI! :lol:
> 
> *If you're a great pianist, are you guaranteed a spot in heaven?* As a non-musician myself, I guess I'm in trouble! :devil:


In that case, I'd better pull my fingers away from my you-know-what and start practicing piano more often!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> In that case, I'd better pull my fingers away from my you-know-what and start practicing piano more often!


No, we can't have that! :devil: You need to end up in the same place I end up! :angel:

Speaking of your sticky fingers, I brought the Neil Diamond CD back to my co-worker today. I decided to give it another spin in the car this morning. Now I have his _America_ stuck in my mind.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> No, we can't have that! :devil: You need to end up in the same place I end up! :angel:
> 
> Speaking of your sticky fingers, I brought the Neil Diamond CD back to my co-worker today. I decided to give it another spin in the car this morning. Now I have his _America_ stuck in my mind.


"Coming" to America! That's what I do when I listen to his America song!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> "Coming" to America! That's what I do when I listen to his America song!


I'm trying to replace thoughts about Neil Diamond with thoughts of you Cumming to America! :devil: Isn't America great? :lol: Maybe I'll throw a Sousa CD in my CD player tonight and really crank it up!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'm trying to replace thoughts about Neil Diamond with thoughts of you Cumming to America! :devil: Isn't America great? :lol: Maybe I'll throw a Sousa CD in my CD player tonight and really crank it up!


Yeah, I like to celebrate Fourth of July by setting off some fireworks down there (figuratively speaking, that is...) Of course, I do that every day anyway! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I like to celebrate Fourth of July by setting off some fireworks down there (figuratively speaking, that is...) Of course, I do that every day anyway! :lol:


Yeah, don't put any real firecrackers down there! 

Ever had any desire to put one of those red, white, and blue Popsicles up there? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, don't put any real firecrackers down there!
> 
> Ever had any desire to put one of those red, white, and blue Popsicles up there? :lol:


Haha, probably not...I think it would melt way too fast when "coming" into contact with my hot little tunnel! It would make a sticky mess, and things are already wet enough down there. :devil:

In honor of Fourth of July, I'll probably touch myself (no surprise there:lol while listening to my two favorite America songs: Neil Diamond's "Coming to America" and Bernstein's "America" from West Side Story.


----------



## Bettina

^Oh, I might also listen to Beethoven's variations on God Save the King. It's the same melody as My Country Tis of Thee, so I think it qualifies as a Fourth of July song. And, I just realized: if you take the "ry" out of country, it sounds really dirty!!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Haha, probably not...I think it would melt way too fast when "coming" into contact with my hot little tunnel! It would make a sticky mess, and things are already wet enough down there. :devil:
> 
> In honor of Fourth of July, I'll probably touch myself (no surprise there:lol while listening to my two favorite America songs: Neil Diamond's "Coming to America" and Bernstein's "America" from West Side Story.


Yes, good point. You'd melt it in no time with all your hotness down there! :devil: Didn't Katy Perry sing a song about California girls melting Popsicles? :lol:

What, you're not going to do it to *** Down? Where's the beef?!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> ^Oh, I might also listen to Beethoven's variations on God Save the King. It's the same melody as My Country Tis of Thee, so I think it qualifies as a Fourth of July song. And, I just realized: if you take the "ry" out of country, it sounds really dirty!!


I don't know if it's a sweet land of liberty, but it's certainly a sweet land! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yes, good point. You'd melt it in no time with all your hotness down there! :devil: Didn't Katy Perry sing a song about California girls melting Popsicles? :lol:
> 
> What, you're not going to do it to *** Down? Where's the beef?!


Yes, Katy Perry's "California Girls" describes me pretty well...except for the part where she sings "sex on the beach, Snoop Doggy Dog on the radio." I'd be listening to Neil Diamond on the radio instead!!

Nope, I'm not doing anything to Copland. He doesn't really turn me on. Of course, I wouldn't say no to a threesome with Bernstein and Copland (even though they'd probably ignore me in favor of each other).


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I don't know if it's a sweet land of liberty, but it's certainly a sweet land! :devil:


Yes, I'm in the great American tradition of "life, liberty and the pursuit of orgasms." The founding fathers would be proud.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, Katy Perry's "California Girls" describes me pretty well...except for the part where she sings "sex on the beach, Snoop Doggy Dog on the radio." I'd be listening to Neil Diamond on the radio instead!!
> 
> Nope, I'm not doing anything to Copland. He doesn't really turn me on. Of course, I wouldn't say no to a threesome with Bernstein and Copland (even though they'd probably ignore me in favor of each other).


You wouldn't finger yourself on the beach? You might get sand in there!  I'm sure you'd look great in a swimsuit though. It wouldn't be a one-piece! Well, maybe a two-piece with the bottom piece missing! :devil:

I'd probably go with Neil Diamond over Snoop Dog, but don't consider that to be too much of an endorsement for Neil!

Yeah, Bernstein and Copland wouldn't give you any attention at all! So much for simple gifts! Well, your gifts are complexly simple! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, I'm in the great American tradition of "life, liberty and the pursuit of orgasms." The founding fathers would be proud.


What about John Adams (the composer, not the founding father)? Either one I guess. Are they touch worthy? I'm guessing not, but it's worth asking if there are any living musicians you touch to aside from Neil.


----------



## millionrainbows

page 1224, please.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Jacred said:


> Playing an instrument increases your chances of going to Heaven by 5% per instrument. On average. Fact.


even for a banjo and bagpipes :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> page 1224, please.


I'm waiting for page 1234 - very orderly


----------



## hpowders

Me eat now.


----------



## hpowders

Soup is good.


----------



## hpowders

Me Bach now.


----------



## hpowders

Netrebko's bedroom nice!


----------



## hpowders

Can't stop trios!


----------



## millionrainbows

last page, please


----------



## hpowders

Me better now:

When I attend ballet it's like I would attend San Quentin.

Anyone else have any endearing ballet stories?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

"Netrebko's bedroom nice!"

^what? did I miss something here


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Death metal vs. death minimalism


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> "Netrebko's bedroom nice!"
> 
> ^what? did I miss something here


My current location.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> My current location.


Tell us the details! I've already shared my entire sex life on TC (which mostly consists of solo activity while fantasizing about dead men). Now it's your turn to spill some beans. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Tell us the details! I've already shared my entire sex life on TC (which mostly consists of solo activity while fantasizing about dead men). Now it's your turn to spill some beans. :lol:


Sorry. I'm much more reserved.....BUT...I went _in_ thinking she was a hack and _emerged _now touting her as a singing superstar with benefits.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Netrebko's bedroom nice!


I :tiphat: to you, sir.


----------



## millionrainbows

last page, please


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> I :tiphat: to you, sir.


That's four words and a symbol!!! Sorry. Wrong thread.

I B sorry!


----------



## hpowders

If I play polarizing music outdoors on a picnic, will there be like a million rainbows in the sky?

I have other good questions. Friends list open.

I just want to know why!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Tuddelidei, tuddelidu, tuddelu.


----------



## SiegendesLicht

Bettina said:


> Tell us the details! I've already shared my entire sex life on TC (which mostly consists of solo activity while fantasizing about dead men). Now it's your turn to spill some beans. :lol:


Hmm... caressing my beloved while being brought to esctasy within her. Musical exctasy, I mean.


----------



## Bettina

SiegendesLicht said:


> Hmm... caressing my beloved while being brought to esctasy within her. Musical exctasy, I mean.


Ah, you must be referring to your beloved Elbphilharmonie! The ecstatic power of music - and great architecture - is truly impressive.


----------



## hpowders

Has anyone permanently left TC and then permanently come back to TC?

Doing PhD psychiatric research project. Discretion assured. You want to see the list so far? Bitcoin.


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> If I play polarizing music outdoors on a picnic, will there be like a million rainbows in the sky?


You're giving me a million rainbows to let you go
You're giving me a million rainbows to quit the show
You're givin' me a million rainbows 
Give me a million rainbows 
Givin' me a million rainbows 
About a million rainbows


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Has anyone permanently left TC and then permanently come back to TC?


As a side note, who seriously thinks they're important enough on a forum that they need to announce that they're leaving?


----------



## SiegendesLicht

And if you are not sure, yes, I am talking about the Elbphilharmonie. The first time I was there, I touched her "white skin" all over.


----------



## millionrainbows

last page, please


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> As a side note, who seriously thinks they're important enough on a forum that they need to announce that they're leaving?


Many do.........I think it's more a courtesy. I did it once, purely as a courtesy when I went on vacation, and the head "honcho" of the Wagner threads wrote, after I was gone for a few days, "I'm going to the bathroom. Be back in 10 minutes." That will NEVER happen to me again. When I leave, I leave. No announcements ever again.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> You're giving me a million rainbows to let you go
> You're giving me a million rainbows to quit the show
> You're givin' me a million rainbows
> Give me a million rainbows
> Givin' me a million rainbows
> About a million rainbows


That must be the most poetic post on here yet :tiphat:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> last page, please


I'm still looking for the first page...............


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> That must be the most poetic post on here yet :tiphat:


Wow. What about Emily Dickinson? Wasn't she here?


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> You're giving me a million rainbows to let you go
> You're giving me a million rainbows to quit the show
> You're givin' me a million rainbows
> Give me a million rainbows
> Givin' me a million rainbows
> About a million rainbows


I need a little friend, to tide me by,
I need a little friend, with a twinkling eye,
I need a little friend, we can listen to opera together,
Just one little friend, won't you please?
Such a cute little thing, it's a pug.


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> That must be the most poetic post on here yet :tiphat:


I thought it was the lyrics to an Al Jolson song.


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> As a side note, who seriously thinks they're important enough on a forum that they need to announce that they're leaving?


I think they do it as a courtesy for _all those friends_ of theirs.


----------



## millionrainbows

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'm still looking for the first page...............


That's par for the course, Charlie, until they get these glitches fixed. In Chrome, I keep getting sent to page 459. This is the only way I can access the last pages.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Wow. What about Emily Dickinson? Wasn't she here?


Emily *Dick*inson? I assumed she was way too tame for the likes of the posters on this (now) porno-thread...


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Many do.........I think it's more a courtesy. I did it once, purely as a courtesy when I went on vacation, and the head "honcho" of the Wagner threads wrote, after I was gone for a few days, "I'm going to the bathroom. Be back in 10 minutes." That will NEVER happen to me again. When I leave, I leave. No announcements ever again.


Excuse me, but can you stop being reasonable? I am trying to be a misanthrope here.


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> Excuse me, but can you stop being reasonable? I am trying to be a misanthrope here.


You'll never surpass me in misanthropy! I'm such a misanthrope that I'd rather fantasize about dead guys instead of having sex with live ones.*

*This is NOT for lack of options. Even right here on STI there are many men who would gladly sleep with me! :devil:


----------



## millionrainbows

page 1227, please.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Many do.........I think it's more a courtesy. I did it once, purely as a courtesy when I went on vacation, and the head "honcho" of the Wagner threads wrote, after I was gone for a few days, "I'm going to the bathroom. Be back in 10 minutes." That will NEVER happen to me again. When I leave, I leave. No announcements ever again.


Introduce me to this "head honcho" of the Wagner threads. He sounds like a very interesting fellow, with needs and urges just like the rest of us, going to the bathroom, etc. Not an oobermensch at all!


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> Excuse me, but can you stop being reasonable? I am trying to be a misanthrope here.


How about primates in general? They are, after all, very similar.


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> You'll never surpass me in misanthropy! I'm such a misanthrope that I'd rather fantasize about dead guys instead of having sex with live ones.*
> 
> *This is NOT for lack of options. Even right here on STI there are many men who would gladly sleep with me! :devil:


If you will pardon me, I think I will wait to have sex with you until you have passed, if that will be OK with you.


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> If you will pardon me, I think I will wait to have sex with you until you have passed, if that will be OK with you.


That's fine, I totally understand the attraction to dead people!


----------



## Scopitone

I just have to confront the fact that I really don't like the people I've been talking about helping. You know? I don't think I like people, period.

_You _guys are okay.

I'm just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope.


----------



## Scopitone

Bettina said:


> Even right here on STI there are many men who would gladly sleep with me! :devil:


Forgive the crassness, but you're a chick on an internet music forum.

Of course they want to sleep with you. :devil:


----------



## Scopitone

millionrainbows said:


> I thought it was the lyrics to an Al Jolson song.


Nah, I'm pretty sure Bob Weir wrote it.


----------



## Scopitone

Poll: Music is Stupid

a. Yes
b. No
c. Sometimes
d. All music but RAP is great
e. I don't want to be an Emily Dickinson, so I didn't choose option D
f. This poll is stupid.
g. You're a stupid head
h. I want my mommy
i. Shut up, or I'll give you something to cry about


----------



## Scopitone

What percentage of the 9pm Central Time hour do you listen to non-classical music music every Wednesday?


----------



## millionrainbows

Can you believe it? The moderators have closed the "John Cage Is Laughing at You" thread! After all the stuff that's been posted on here! I am truly dumbfounded, and probably banned!


----------



## hpowders

My name is Zardov, Flash Gordon's nemesis, and wherever I post, the threads get closed. 

Could it be my breath?


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> My name is Zardov, Flash Gordon's nemesis, and wherever I post, the threads get closed.
> 
> Could it be my breath?


I'm sure your breath is bad, but obviously it's not your subject matter!


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> My name is Zardov, Flash Gordon's nemesis, and wherever I post, the threads get closed.
> 
> Could it be my breath?


I thought you were Zardoz, Sean Connery's nemesis. . .


----------



## Scopitone

millionrainbows said:


> Can you believe it? The moderators have closed the "John Cage Is Laughing at You" thread! After all the stuff that's been posted on here! I am truly dumbfounded, and probably banned!


It's probably for the best.

I couldn't hear the humor anyway.


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> Can you believe it? The moderators have closed the "John Cage Is Laughing at You" thread! After all the stuff that's been posted on here! I am truly dumbfounded, and probably banned!


That is very bizarre and unfair. I thought it was an excellent thread and it was generating some good responses (as well as some negative stuff from the usual trolls). I'm sorry to see it get shut down!

I certainly hope that you don't get banned from TC - you've been contributing a lot of valuable material to the site. Your posts on modern music have been helping me get outside my Beethoven-Liszt-Tchaikovsky comfort zone (though I'm never giving up my passion for those guys!)


----------



## Scopitone

Bettina said:


> That is very bizarre and unfair. I thought it was an excellent thread and it was generating some good responses (as well as some negative stuff from the usual trolls). I'm sorry to see it get shut down!
> 
> I certainly hope that you don't get banned from TC - you've been contributing a lot of valuable material to the site. Your posts on modern music have been helping me get outside my Beethoven-Liszt-Tchaikovsky comfort zone (though I'm never giving up my passion for those guys!)


Wait, was MillionReasons serious about getting in trouble?


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> Wait, was MillionReasons serious about getting in trouble?


I think so. Usually when the mods close a thread, they mean business! I'm just hoping that they don't pay much attention to STI...


----------



## hpowders

Certain threads are emotionally loaded going in: "Wagner and the Jews". "hpowders' guide to verbose posting". John Cage is giving you the finger". "I hate Atonalism. Nyah. Nyah. N'' yah, yah!"

It should be the judgment of the editor to not post a thread that is sure to be controversial.


----------



## Scopitone

Bettina said:


> I think so. Usually when the mods close a thread, they mean business! I'm just hoping that they don't pay much attention to STI...


Why should they? No one else does.

*rimshot*:tiphat:


----------



## millionrainbows

Any mention of STI outside these thread walls might lead to deletions and infractions; even I am nervous about the recent flurry of risque postings. 

But I think the real danger is in "victim" posters reporting you. I call these "rats."

I have tried to avoid making any statements which could be construed as ad hominems at all costs. Still, they may figure a way to interpret my statements as such.

In the end, they've got the power, and they will do what they want, regardless.


----------



## Scopitone

never mind that was silly


----------



## Scopitone

millionrainbows said:


> Any mention of STI outside these thread walls might lead to deletions and infractions; even I am nervous about the recent flurry of risque postings.
> 
> But I think the real danger is in "victim" posters reporting you. I call these "rats."
> 
> I have tried to avoid making any statements which could be construed as ad hominems at all costs. Still, they may figure a way to interpret my statements as such.
> 
> In the end, they've got the power, and they will do what they want, regardless.


I don't post this thread as much as you lot. But I do sometimes second guess my jokes when they point to a specific thread. Sometimes I am not even being critical -- I just think turning the thread topic around makes for fun silliness.

But sometimes I come back and delete.


----------



## millionrainbows

hpowders said:


> Certain threads are emotionally loaded going in: "Wagner and the Jews. "hpowders' guide to verbose posting". John Cage is giving you the finger". "I hate Atonalism. Nyah. Nyah. N'' yah, yah!"
> 
> It should be the judgment of the editor to not post a thread that is sure to be controversial.


I _love_ controversy. You mean I should post stuff like "What Mozart have you listened to today?" No thanks.


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> I'm am still relatively new around here. I feel like you're not super-welcome in the Opera mezzanine. Is that true, or am I being hypersensitive?
> 
> Opera lovers are not always fond of shitstirrers.


Who's the _head honcho_ over there in opera?


----------



## Bettina

millionrainbows said:


> I _love_ controversy. You mean I should post stuff like "What Mozart have you listened to today?" No thanks.


I agree with you. I love the polarizing posters on TC, such as you and hpowders. Controversy is what makes life interesting (well, that and sex!)


----------



## Scopitone

I think I really dig Brahms. Does that make me cool? Or unadventurous?


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> never mind that was silly


You are correct. Whenever I comment on an opera thread, I am treated as a stranger walking on a cul d' sac street-UNWELCOME!! Astute of you to notice. :tiphat:


----------



## Scopitone

millionrainbows said:


> Who's the _head honcho_ over there in opera?


haha, you beat me -- I tried to delete that post

I like the Opera folks. That's where I hang out most. But I thought I remembered them butting heads with the PowderedToastMan. But I deleted it because it occurred to me I might be remembering wrong, and then I would be just pointlessly causing trouble.

So thanks for not letting me escape all that, dammit. :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> I think I really dig Brahms. Does that make me cool? Or unadventurous?


I think I'd like to dig up Brahms. Does that make me cool? Or weird?


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> You are correct. Whenever I comment on an opera thread, I am treated as a stranger walking on a cul d' sac street-UNWELCOME!! Astute of you to notice. :tiphat:


How do you feel about Wagner or Maria Callas?

That's how we'll know.


----------



## Scopitone

Bettina said:


> I think I'd like to dig up Brahms. Does that make me cool? Or weird?


It makes Brahms cool.

Well, I suppose it depends on the temperature in the crypt, doesn't it?


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> How do you feel about Wagner or Maria Callas?
> 
> That's how we'll know.


I like Maria Callas as Tosca and Norma. Wagner? I've seen my share of complete Rings at the Met.
But I know enough not to go where I'm not wanted.


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> It makes Brahms cool.
> 
> Well, I suppose it depends on the temperature in the crypt, doesn't it?


Have any good Tales from the Crypt?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your favorite Sexual moment listening to Classical music


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favorite Sexual moment listening to Classical music


I defer to the lady. :lol::lol:


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your favorite Sexual moment listening to Classical music


The end of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. I love how he pounds the listener with those final chords. Oh yeah, Ludwig, that feels great, don't stop!!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I defer to the lady. :lol::lol:


My behavior around here isn't very ladylike, but thank you anyway!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The end of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. I love how he pounds the listener with those final chords. Oh yeah, Ludwig, that feels great, don't stop!!


He almost didn't stop. A 1960's comedy TV show made fun of that "never-ending" ending.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> My behavior around here isn't very ladylike, but thank you anyway!


Sure it is. You are always helpful and knowledgeable in correspondences on the main forum.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> He almost didn't stop. A 1960's comedy TV show made fun of that "never-ending" ending.


Maybe he inpsired Cage to do ASLSP


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Sure it is. You are always helpful and knowledgeable in correspondences on the main forum.


Thank you for your kind words! Here on STI, however, my kinky posts aren't exactly ladylike :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thank you for your kind words! Here on STI, however, my kinky posts aren't exactly ladylike :devil:


Yeah, but they are always well-written, as are your more intellectual posts. You know I'm a sucker for good writing. A huge turn on....like now!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Could STI break the internet? and who will we blame Millionrainbows?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yeah, but they are always well-written, as are your more intellectual posts. You know I'm a sucker for good writing. A huge turn on....like now!


Thank you...I love talking dirty (actually, _writing _dirty in the case of my TC posts) while using proper grammar and syntax. The blend of raunchiness and academic precision is a turn on for me and I'm glad that you appreciate it too!


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Sure it is. You are always helpful and knowledgeable in correspondences on the main forum.


Yeah, on the _main _forum.

BTW, on the big Doctor Who forum Gallifrey base, there's a section at the bottom of the forum lists called Inferno. You can't even see it unless you activate it in your profile.

The last few days of this thread would fit right into the Inferno threads.


----------



## Bettina

Bettina said:


> The end of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. I love how he pounds the listener with those final chords. Oh yeah, Ludwig, that feels great, don't stop!!


By the way, I just posted a sanitized (and more academic) version of this idea on the main forum, in post #7 of this thread: http://www.talkclassical.com/50059-what-greatest-ending-piece.html#post1268037


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> Yeah, on the _main _forum.
> 
> BTW, on the big Doctor Who forum Gallifrey base, there's a section at the bottom of the forum lists called Inferno. You can't even see it unless you activate it in your profile.
> 
> The last few days of this thread would fit right into the Inferno threads.


Yeah, I totally have a split personality. My posts in the main forum are (usually) socially appropriate. Here on STI, I'm an exhibitionistic necrophiliac!! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah, but they are always well-written, as are your more intellectual posts. You know I'm a sucker for good writing. A huge turn on....like now!





Bettina said:


> Thank you...I love talking dirty (actually, _writing _dirty in the case of my TC posts) while using proper grammar and syntax. The blend of raunchiness and academic precision is a turn on for me and I'm glad that you appreciate it too!


This might become a "We love Bettina's linguistic skills" orgy! I'm turned on by it too! I don't want buttsex with Bettina, but I so want to see her colon! : me anytime! :devil:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Could STI break the internet? and who will we blame Millionrainbows?


I once thought Bettina and I were going to break the main board. It didn't brea, but the forum hasn't been the same since! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> This might become a "We love Bettina's linguistic skills" orgy! I'm turned on by it too! I don't want buttsex with Bettina, but I so want to see her colon! : me anytime! :devil:
> 
> I once thought Bettina and I were going to break the main board. It didn't brea, but the forum hasn't been the same since! :lol:


Thank you so much! I'm delighted to hear that my writing style is a turn-on. When I travel back in time to 19th-century Vienna, it's too bad that Beethoven won't be able to experience the erotic force of my grammatical skills...my German is vastly inferior to my English - I can barely stammer out a "guten Tag." :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Thank you so much! I'm delighted to hear that my writing style is a turn-on. When I travel back in time to 19th-century Vienna, it's too bad that Beethoven won't be able to experience the erotic force of my grammatical skills...my German is vastly inferior to my English - I can barely stammer out a "guten Tag." :lol:


They just say "tag" it seems anyway. Beethoven doesn't seem like the kind who is turned on by good grammar anyway. Neither is Neil Diamond. Maybe Bernstein would appreciate it.

One thing I don't want to see is Bettina's period!  Polka dotted thongs? :devil: Polka dotted granny panties?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> They just say "tag" it seems anyway. Beethoven doesn't seem like the kind who is turned on by good grammar anyway. *Neither is Neil Diamond. * Maybe Bernstein would appreciate it.
> 
> One thing I don't want to see is Bettina's period!  Polka dotted thongs? :devil: Polka dotted granny panties?


Haha, I totally agree that my good grammar would be lost on Neil! Remember his line in Play Me, "songs you brang to me?" 

I know what you mean about periods being unsexy...I wish that I didn't have to see my period either. It's so annoying! And it gets in the way of my solo fun. Just as I'm trying to lose myself in Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, I look down and see blood all over my hands. Talk about a mood killer! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Analogies for Happy and Sad


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Analogies for Happy and Sad


Klassik's post sums it up perfectly: polka-dotted thongs = happy. Polka-dotted period panties = sad.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Haha, I totally agree that my good grammar would be lost on Neil! Remember his line in Play Me, "songs you brang to me?"
> 
> I know what you mean about periods being unsexy...I wish that I didn't have to see my period either. It's so annoying! And it gets in the way of my solo fun. Just as I'm trying to lose myself in Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, I look down and see blood all over my hands. Talk about a mood killer! :lol:


Listen to Wellington's Victory during your period. Beethoven would be so happy that someone enjoyed it! :lol:

Periods are one of those strange things. They're completely unsexy to most men (Gesualdo types aside) in a direct sense, but they're indirectly hot in an evolutionary type of way. Believe it or not, men have evolved a little bit. Just a little bit! :lol: You'll see this when you see cave man Beethoven!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Klassik's post sums it up perfectly: polka-dotted thongs = happy. Polka-dotted period panties = sad.


You got that right! :devil:


----------



## Scopitone

Bettina said:


> Klassik's post sums it up perfectly: polka-dotted thongs = happy. Polka-dotted period panties = sad.


where's the emoji for throwing up?


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> where's the emoji for throwing up?


Bettina's granny panties can double as a barf bag! You won't mind the stains, you're barfing anyway! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Bettina's granny panties can double as a barf bag! You won't mind the stains, you're barfing anyway! :lol:


Clever suggestion! I like the idea of having multipurpose panties. :lol:


----------



## Bettina

What's grosser, Bettina's barf-covered period panties or the thought of digging up Brahms?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Clever suggestion! I like the idea of having multipurpose panties. :lol:


Since I rarely wear underwear, I try to find a single purpose for them. I put my briefs on my head so that John Cage will laugh at me. Of course, Cage is one of those who is not allowed to look at my 11th finger. I'll use my codpiece as well.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> What's grosser, Bettina's barf-covered period panties or the thought of digging up Brahms?


I'm going with the panties as being more gross here!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Since I rarely wear underwear, I try to find a single purpose for them. I put my briefs on my head so that John Cage will laugh at me. Of course, Cage is one of those who is not allowed to look at my 11th finger. I'll use my codpiece as well.


How does anyone go through life without underwear. That's like getting through the day without a crack pipe. Preposterous!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> How does anyone go through life without underwear. That's like getting through the day without a crack pipe. Preposterous!!


Hittin' the crack pipe, h? :lol: Anyway, you're more than welcome to come here and check the situation out if you doubt my lifestyle! 

True underwear story: Back when I was younger (which means it might have been 20 minutes ago), I was watching an auto race on TV. I saw the drivers putting on their balaclavas (fireproof head socks) before they put their helmets on their heads. I didn't know what a balaclava was at the time and it looked like it was a pair of briefs. So, anyway, I grabbed some briefs, put it on my head, and pretended I was AJ Foyt! Fortunately, I didn't see any skidmarks! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Hittin' the crack pipe, h? :lol: Anyway, you're more than welcome to come here and check the situation out if you doubt my lifestyle!
> 
> True underwear story: Back when I was younger (which means it might have been 20 minutes ago), I was watching an auto race on TV. I saw the drivers putting on their balaclavas (fireproof head socks) before they put their helmets on their heads. I didn't know what a balaclava was at the time and it looked like it was a pair of briefs. So, anyway, I grabbed some briefs, put it on my head, and pretended I was AJ Foyt! Fortunately, I didn't see any skidmarks! :lol:


If I put my period panties on my head, I'd be arrested for terrorism!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> If I put my period panties on my head, I'd be arrested for terrorism!


You're more than welcome to do that to yourself, but to anyone else? :lol:

It would make for one interesting head scarf though!  But, yeah, that would be considered a war crime if the military did that!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina, am I right to assume that you have [John] Cage-free eggs? You wouldn't want to sleep with John Cage?


----------



## Scopitone

Klassik said:


> Bettina, am I right to assume that you have [John] Cage-free eggs? You wouldn't want to sleep with John Cage?


I thought he was kind of hot in that picture. I'm thinking of jumping the fence for him.

Please don't anyone tell Hilary Hahn. :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> I thought he was kind of hot in that picture. I'm thinking of jumping the fence for him.
> 
> Please don't anyone tell Hilary Hahn. :devil:


It seems that Cage wouldn't mind a bromance!  Count me out though! We know 4'33" of buttsex wouldn't be quiet! Maybe that's the sounds he wanted to hear? :lol:


----------



## Scopitone

Classical Music that Rises to the Level of Great Pop Music


----------



## Scopitone

Classical Music that Falls to the Level of Bad Pop Music


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> Classical Music that Rises to the Level of Great Pop Music


I can't think of any classical works that reach the "heights" of these pop hits:











Well, ok, maybe some of Mozart's dirty music. Aside from that, move over Bach and Beethoven!


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> Classical Music that Falls to the Level of Bad Pop Music


Probably something by John Cage. Or something atonal. Or Mahler, but not Bruckner.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Bettina, am I right to assume that you have [John] Cage-free eggs? You wouldn't want to sleep with John Cage?


I'm definitely not letting Cage go anywhere near my egg basket! He would be a horrible lover, doing only one thrust every five minutes or so, in keeping with his piece As Slow As Possible. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm definitely not letting Cage go anywhere near my egg basket! He would be a horrible lover, doing only one thrust every five minutes or so, in keeping with his piece As Slow As Possible. :lol:


I'm not sure if Cage was gay, but perhaps he wouldn't want to be near your egg basket anyway! He might prefer the grand tubes of intestines!


----------



## hpowders

TC culinary help section:

Help me like Butoni!!

I'm strictly a Ronzoni sauce man. I need some hand-holding in changing brands.

Well, it's time to hit the sock....errr.....I mean sack.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> TC culinary help section:
> 
> Help me like Butoni!!
> 
> I'm strictly a Ronzoni sauce man. I need some hand-holding in changing brands.
> 
> Well, it's time to hit the sock....errr.....I mean sack.


Need my Sears catalog? Normally I'd worry about the pages getting dirty, but I guess it'll be okay if you sock it.


----------



## hpowders

Is Johnny Mathis' singing greater than classical music as we understand it today?

Chances are.....

good?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> where's the emoji for throwing up?


So that would be sad :<)


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> Classical Music that Rises to the Level of Great Pop Music


Very few classical composers rise to the heights attained by Neil Diamond! Maybe Beethoven managed occasionally...:lol: :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Need my Sears catalog? Normally I'd worry about the pages getting dirty, but I guess it'll be okay if you sock it.


I don't know.....sounds a bit fishy to me...


----------



## Scopitone

Klassik said:


> Need my Sears catalog? Normally I'd worry about the pages getting dirty, but I guess it'll be okay if you sock it.


Granny panties FTW!

Actually, I am not kidding. I really like high-waisted bikinis, knickers, and jeans.


----------



## Scopitone

Bettina said:


> Very few classical composers rise to the heights attained by Neil Diamond! Maybe Beethoven managed occasionally...:lol: :lol:


Yes, but did any of them perform with a big coke-booger visible, like Neil Young did on THE LAST WALTZ?

Also, Dave Beethoven's hair reached those heights.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> I can't think of any classical works that reach the "heights" of these pop hits:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well, ok, maybe some of Mozart's dirty music. Aside from that, move over Bach and Beethoven!


You forgot to add Pleasure and Pain


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I don't know.....sounds a bit fishy to me...


It sounds fine. It might smell fishy though! :devil:



Bettina said:


> Very few classical composers rise to the heights attained by Neil Diamond! Maybe Beethoven managed occasionally...:lol: :lol:


The heights of despair? Yes. At least I got America out of my head. Now I have Divinyls stuck in my head. This is fine!


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You forgot to add Pleasure and Pain


You'll have to translate the Australian for me. Is she saying "bush" or "push?" :lol: I hope it's the latter!


----------



## Klassik

It's very unfortunate that Chrissy Amphlett of the Divinyls died so young. Bettina, do you mind if we use your time machine to make a stop to visit her?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It's very unfortunate that Chrissy Amphlett of the Divinyls died so young. Bettina, do you mind if we use your time machine to make a stop to visit her?


No problem! I'll drop you off in Australia around 1991, then I'll travel back to 1809 to visit Ludwig. I'll come back a few weeks later to pick you up. Does that sound like a good plan?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No problem! I'll drop you off in Australia around 1991, then I'll travel back to 1809 to visit Ludwig. I'll come back a few weeks later to pick you up. Does that sound like a good plan?


What if you don't come back? I'll have to hang out with Eddie for the rest of my life! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Greatest ending to a TC thread?

"Wagner & the Jews":

"This thread is permanently closed. Don't even think of posting here ever again!!"


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> What if you don't come back? I'll have to hang out with Eddie for the rest of my life! :lol:


Just don't ever bend down to pick up the soap and you should be okay.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> What if you don't come back? I'll have to hang out with Eddie for the rest of my life! :lol:


I'll come back soon, I promise! I can't spend very long with Ludwig, because I have a date scheduled in New York City in 1970 to visit Lenny. On my way from Vienna to NYC, I'll swing by to pick you up from Australia.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Just don't ever bend down to pick up the soap and you should be okay.


No worries, Eddie's definitely straight. He added diacritical marks to his name in order to please me - a definite sign of heterosexuality! Now if only I could make Lenny and Peter turn straight (I'd have to resurrect them first, of course...)


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Just don't ever bend down to pick up the soap and you should be okay.


Eddie, who knew?! :lol:

I'll get a soap on the rope. Bettina will need several for Beethoven.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> You'll have to translate the Australian for me. Is she saying "bush" or "push?" :lol: I hope it's the latter!


It is actually push but I guess it depends on your point of view and whether your in the bush 

Lover lover why do you push
Why do you push, why do you push
Baby baby, did you forget about me
I've been standing at the back of your life
Back row center just above the ice
Please don't ask me how I've been getting off
No please don't ask me how I've been getting off
Break my body, with the back of your hand
Doesn't make sense from where I stand
Baby, baby why you want to mess it up
Sooner or later I'll find my place


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> No worries, Eddie's definitely straight. He added diacritical marks to his name in order to please me - a definite sign of heterosexuality! Now if only I could make Lenny and Peter turn straight (I'd have to resurrect them first, of course...)


I'm not the one who needs to be worried! I'm safely here at home with Waldstein.


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Please don't ask me how I've been getting off
> No please don't ask me how I've been getting off[/FONT][/COLOR]


...things never said by Bettina! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'll come back soon, I promise! I can't spend very long with Ludwig, because I have a date scheduled in New York City in 1970 to visit Lenny. On my way from Vienna to NYC, I'll swing by to pick you up from Australia.


Oh, so you're saying that you only want a short term romance with Beethoven? You know his limitations?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> It is actually push but I guess it depends on your point of view and whether your in the bush
> 
> Lover lover why do you push
> Why do you push, why do you push
> Baby baby, did you forget about me
> I've been standing at the back of your life
> Back row center just above the ice
> Please don't ask me how I've been getting off
> No please don't ask me how I've been getting off
> Break my body, with the back of your hand
> Doesn't make sense from where I stand
> Baby, baby why you want to mess it up
> Sooner or later I'll find my place


Certified better than classical as we know it today.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Oh, so you're saying that you only want a short term romance with Beethoven? You know his limitations?


Not exactly short term...more like a long distance relationship. I'm planning to visit him every month or so (hopefully none of the visits will coincide with my period! ) But I'm not willing to live permanently in the 19th century...I'd miss TC too much! :lol: :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Not exactly short term...more like a long distance relationship. I'm planning to visit him every month or so (hopefully none of the visits will coincide with my period! ) But I'm not willing to live permanently in the 19th century...I'd miss TC too much! :lol: :lol:


As well as the penicillin, the bottled water, the electric lights and the Steinways.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Not exactly short term...more like a long distance relationship. I'm planning to visit him every month or so (hopefully none of the visits will coincide with my period! ) But I'm not willing to live permanently in the 19th century...I'd miss TC too much! :lol: :lol:


We would miss you tremendously, but we could send you messages via courier. Just imagine the end of the William Tell Overture with them delivering a message everyday saying, "Right now in the 21st century, Klassik has an erection." :devil::lol:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> As well as the penicillin, the bottled water, the electric lights and the Steinways.


And the CDs of course. How can I touch myself without CDs to accompany my activities?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> We would miss you tremendously, but we could send you messages via courier. Just imagine the end of the William Tell Overture with them delivering a message everyday saying, "Right now in the 21st century, Klassik has an erection." :devil::lol:


We would pick up the slack. Posters come and go.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> And the CDs of course. How can I touch myself without CDs to accompany my activities?


Live chamber music consisting of inhibited male, horny gawkers? I dunno. Think_ long_ and _hard!!_


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> We would miss you tremendously, but we could send you messages via courier. Just imagine the end of the William Tell Overture with them delivering a message everyday saying, "Right now in the 21st century, Klassik has an erection." :devil::lol:


There's no need to send me something I already know. Why waste valuable time and money on stating the obvious? :lol: :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> *We would miss you tremendously*, but we could send you messages via courier. Just imagine the end of the William Tell Overture with them delivering a message everyday saying, "Right now in the 21st century, Klassik has an erection." :devil::lol:


I'm already detaching myself, but I'm not exactly a urologist. Wish me luck!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> We would pick up the slack. Posters come and go.


You guys are great, but Bettina brings certain things you guys just can't deliver. I'm not talking about wonderful California walnuts. Well, maybe I am.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Hey we made page 1234 

some said we would never make it


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> We would pick up the slack. Posters come and go.


Haha, as if I could possibly be replaced! What other woman on TC would write hundreds of posts a day about her *****?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I'm already detaching myself, but I'm not exactly a urologist. Wish me luck!!


Well, geez, thanks for having so much concern about my erections. You don't have to be a prick about it. 

:devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You guys are great, but Bettina brings certain things you guys just can't deliver. I'm not talking about wonderful California walnuts. Well, maybe I am.


In prison, they figure these things out. We'll flip for it. Heads I win. Tails you lose! Can't be fairer than that!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Haha, as if I could possibly be replaced! What other woman on TC would write hundreds of posts a day about her *****?


I dunno but I placed my order last night.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Live chamber music consisting of *inhibited male, horny gawkers*? I dunno. Think_ long_ and _hard!!_


They would be horrified! 19th-century women simply didn't touch themselves _down there_.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I dunno but I placed my order last night.


I don't know if TC can handle another Bettina! The site might explode.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> They would be horrified! 19th-century women simply didn't touch themselves _down there_.


Worth seeing their reactions. Some enchanted evening, eh?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Haha, as if I could possibly be replaced! What other woman on TC would write hundreds of posts a day about her *****?


All of us are fungible except for you, Bettina! 

Ok, my johnson isn't fungible either, but I have a feeling STI will survive without it! :devil:



hpowders said:


> In prison, they figure these things out. We'll flip for it. Heads I win. Tails you lose! Can't be fairer than that!


Hmm. I'm passing on this game. I don't play craps.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> In prison, they figure these things out. We'll flip for it. Heads I win. Tails you lose! Can't be fairer than that!


I'm assuming that win=top and lose=bottom?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I don't know if TC can handle another Bettina! The site might explode.


Perhaps that's why TC tends to slow down. Never thought about that. So logical.....


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm assuming that win=top and lose=bottom?


I'm in over my _head._


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Perhaps that's why TC tends to slow down. Never thought about that. So logical.....


So I take it that TC was a calm, normal place before Bettina and I got here? Well, except for the Wagner/Nazi threads of course.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Good Idea for thread on TC- Hedonists thread :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> So I take it that TC was a calm, normal place before Bettina and I got here? Well, except for the Wagner/Nazi threads of course.


And Atonal/ Cage/ 4'33" threads of course


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Good Idea for thread on TC- Hedonists thread :lol:


I think I post enough already! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> And Atonal/ Cage/ 4'33" threads of course


Of course. That stuff too. Was Cage laughing or frowning back then though?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Of course. That stuff too. Was Cage laughing or frowning back then though?


Watch out the Mods will step in - you mentioned the word the can't be printed..................


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Watch out the Mods will step in - you mentioned the word the can't be printed..................


Laughing? I know the mods have problems with that!


----------



## Bettina

STI posts that rise to the level of main forum posts.

I nominate Klassik's post where he offered to send daily messages to the 19th century, informing me about his erections.

Also, hpowders' post where he asked Klassik to flip a coin, as a way of determining who would get on top during gay sex.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> STI posts that rise to the level of main forum posts.
> 
> I nominate Klassik's post where he offered to send daily messages to the 19th century, informing me about his erections.
> 
> Also, hpowders' post where he asked Klassik to flip a coin, as a way of determining who would get on top during gay sex.


My post does "rise." As for h's, uhh, notice how I avoided that conversation? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> My post does "rise." As for h's, uhh, notice how I avoided that conversation? :lol:


Yes, I remember that you refused to play craps. :lol: But don't worry, crap doesn't have to be involved. If you use an enema, everything should be clean! (I'm not speaking from personal experience here - as everyone on TC knows, I've never tried buttsex.)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, I remember that you refused to play craps. :lol: But don't worry, crap doesn't have to be involved. If you use an enema, everything should be clean! (I'm not speaking from personal experience here - as everyone on TC knows, I've never tried buttsex.)


It does not matter to me how pretty h makes his area down there, I'm not sending a probe to that moon! Or any moon really, but especially not that one!  And I'm not using an enema for any man! :lol:

I may be very horny, but I'm not that desperate! 

STI: Vibrations on a theme of $composer


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It does not matter to me how pretty h makes his area down there, I'm not sending a probe to that moon! Or any moon really, but especially not that one!  And I'm not using an enema for any man! :lol:
> 
> I may be very horny, but I'm not that desperate!
> 
> *STI: Vibrations on a theme of $composer*


Hey, that gives me an idea! Someone should invent a vibrator that plays music (or maybe it's already been done, and I'm just hopelessly behind the times). I would love to hear Beethoven's symphonies coming from my *****!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Hey, that gives me an idea! Someone should invent a vibrator that plays music (or maybe it's already been done, and I'm just hopelessly behind the times). I would love to hear Beethoven's symphonies coming from my *****!


Good idea, you should get a patent for this! Which symphony would lead to the best vibrations? I'll go with an oddball pick, how about the 8th?

Another thought since you say you don't like toys. Do you use different fingers for fantasies about different conductors? If so, how do you choose a finger? Based on how big you think their endowment is? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Good idea, you should get a patent for this! Which symphony would lead to the best vibrations? I'll go with an oddball pick, how about the 8th?
> 
> Another thought since you say you don't like toys. Do you use different fingers for fantasies about different conductors? If so, how do you choose a finger? Based on how big you think their endowment is? :devil:


I'll go with the most cliched choice, the Fifth Symphony. All those thunderous chords would produce powerful vibrations.

Matching fingers with conductors has never occurred to me! Definitely something to think about in the future...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'll go with the most cliched choice, the Fifth Symphony. All those thunderous chords would produce powerful vibrations.
> 
> Matching fingers with conductors has never occurred to me! Definitely something to think about in the future...


Yeah, I was thinking the 5th too.

It's like you would have 10 conductors' corncobs at your disposal. Well, the thumbs and pinkies would be pretty useless. Maybe those can represent Tchaikovsky and such. :lol: Of course, I don't know if you use multiple fingers at once. Double penetration 3-way? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, I was thinking the 5th too.
> 
> It's like you would have 10 conductors' corncobs at your disposal. Well, the thumbs and pinkies would be pretty useless. Maybe those can represent Tchaikovsky and such. :lol: Of course, I don't know if you use multiple fingers at once. Double penetration 3-way? :devil:


I've never fingered my backdoor...it would be fun to imagine that Tchaikovsky was ****ing me, but I just can't seem to get up the nerve to do it! First, I'm afraid that it might hurt. Second, it would be gross if I got Scheiße on my fingers. I mean, I _think _it's clean in there, but how can I be totally sure?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've never fingered my backdoor...it would be fun to imagine that Tchaikovsky was ****ing me, but I just can't seem to get up the nerve to do it! First, I'm afraid that it might hurt. Second, it would be gross if I got Scheiße on my fingers. I mean, I _think _it's clean in there, but how can I be totally sure?


You'd have to get a bidet to clean your backdoor! As Freud would say, I think both of us have bunghole expulsive personalities. Thus, for us, it's exit only! Maybe not though, but I think it would hurt! You might have to wear your granny panties afterwards or risk a mess!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pointless "Which one is more pointless/pointessest" debates


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Conductors who don't get much Action


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Was Zappa's Sofa No2 inspired by Wagner?......................


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

The parts in bad German is


----------



## Klassik

Two STIs in one post!

STI: how to achive best vulva

STI: Sexual Discussions in D♯ minor


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Pointless "Which one is more pointless/pointessest" debates


Any discussion about Klassik is bound to be pointy, but there's not much debate about that! :devil:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Conductors who don't get much Action


Beethoven!


----------



## hpowders

Which TC pseudointellectuals are using pseudonyms to camouflage their inadequacies?

My list? Bitcoin. Reasonable.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Which TC pseudointellectuals are using pseudonyms to camouflage their inadequacies?


Not Klassik. There's nothing inadequate about Klassik's Klassik.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Most polar and least polar composter...


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Most stoned composer


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Most polar and least polar composter...


You'd think Erik Satie would have a large compost pile with all that garbage he had in his apartment! 



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Most stoned composer


Berlioz? Philip Glass? :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

So tell me then!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^ Jack Bruce?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

http://http://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/latest/classical-music-drugs/stravinsky-beaviour-modification-drugs/
Just a list of some composers who tried substances.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> http://http://www.classicfm.com/dis...drugs/stravinsky-beaviour-modification-drugs/
> Just a list of some composers who tried substances.


This site can't be reached*http*'s server DNS address could not be found.
DNS_PROBE_FINISHED_NXDOMAIN

Must be bad :<)


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> http://http://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/latest/classical-music-drugs/stravinsky-beaviour-modification-drugs/
> Just a list of some composers who tried substances.


Looks like Bettina's fantasy list if full of druggies! 

We all knew Stravinsky was high. He couldn't appreciate Vivaldi's music.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> This site can't be reached*http*'s server DNS address could not be found.
> DNS_PROBE_FINISHED_NXDOMAIN
> 
> Must be bad :<)


Wow! Just something from classicfm.com. Had to google "composers on drugs" or something...


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> This site can't be reached*http*'s server DNS address could not be found.
> DNS_PROBE_FINISHED_NXDOMAIN
> 
> Must be bad :<)


Try this http//www.classicfm.com/discover-music/latest/classical-music-drugs/stravinsky-beaviour-modification-drugs/


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^ Same can't get access maybe the Chinese are controlling the Oz internet


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> ^ Same can't get access maybe the Chinese are controlling the Oz internet


Oops. Try again http://www.classicfm.com/discover-m...drugs/stravinsky-beaviour-modification-drugs/


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Used Google - beat anything and got there frew... hard work
Schumann - mercury, quinine, arsenic *wow **heavy**duty **man*


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Used Google - beat anything and got there frew... hard work
> Schumann - mercury, quinine, arsenic *wow **heavy**duty **man*


He had to cure his "little wound" after all!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

A Historically Informed Ring ?!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Top 10 most hated operas?


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Top 10 most hated operas?


How can I possibly narrow it down to just 10?!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who has been busted the most Keef, Chong or Tommy Lee ? or is there another contender for the most smashed...............


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Pole Idea: Which _Leisure Suit Larry_ video game do you like best?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leisure_Suit_Larry


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Klassik said:


> Stupid Pole Idea: Which _Leisure Suit Larry_ video game do you like best?
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leisure_Suit_Larry


I had to google that. Haha!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I had to google that. Haha!


It's like a video game version of STI! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Stupid Pole Idea: Which _Leisure Suit Larry_ video game do you like best?
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leisure_Suit_Larry


The one with the brothel


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The one with the brothel


_Leisure Suit Larry III: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals_ literally sounds like STI. Passionate Patti is a jazz pianist! :lol:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leisu...e_Patti_in_Pursuit_of_the_Pulsating_Pectorals



> Ultimately, Larry and Patti spend the night together, but after a round of passionate lovemaking, Larry hears Patti mumble her previous partner's name (who she intends to leave) as she drifts to sleep. Dejected, Larry abandons his new lover, eventually becoming lost in the uncharted jungle surrounding the resort area. It is at this point, the game shifts perspectives; the player now controls Patti, who must navigate the hostile terrain and assorted perils of the jungle (usually by removing parts of her clothing in the process) to find Larry and resolve the misunderstanding.
> 
> The final act of the game sees Larry and Patti get captured by lesbian cannibals. In an example of breaking the fourth wall, the pair escapes captivity through the use of a "magic marker"... only to end up at Sierra's Coarsegold, California headquarters (realized in-game as a literal movie studio), where they must make their way through various set pieces from other Sierra games, including Police Quest and Space Quest II. Finally, they come across Roberta Williams directing Princess Rosella in a scene from King's Quest IV, and Larry is offered a job at Sierra. The game ends with Larry and Patti living in a California log cabin, and Larry writing an aptly titled series of computer games based on his adventures.


:lol:


----------



## Jacred

The separation between classical music and pop music is 4.33m. How fast is pop music falling if classical music rises at a rate of 0.1238m/s and they meet after 9.00s? Please give your answer in parsecs/millisecond.


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> The separation between classical music and pop music is 4.33m. How fast is pop music falling if classical music rises at a rate of 0.1238m/s and they meet after 9.00s? Please give your answer in parsecs/millisecond.


Um, well, I know how to spell "BOOBS" on a calculator. Beat that! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Breaking New North Korea has achieved the technologies of the early 1950's.

Stay turned for future developments when they invent the transitor radio and fins on cars..............


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Breaking New North Korea has achieved the technologies of the early 1950's.
> 
> Stay turned for future developments when they invent the transitor radio and fins on cars..............


Soon enough, they'll be on par with Cuba!


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Breaking New North Korea has achieved the technologies of the early 1950's.
> 
> Stay turned for future developments when they invent the transitor radio and fins on cars..............


Maybe they'll get around to inventing a time machine soon! I'm getting impatient for my trip to see Ludwig. Hopefully I won't have to sleep with Kim Jong-un to gain access to the time machine.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Maybe they'll get around to inventing a time machine soon! I'm getting impatient for my trip to see Ludwig. Hopefully I won't have to sleep with Kim Jong-un to gain access to the time machine.


Why not? He reminds me of Ludwig! And is North Korea really that different from early 19th century Vienna? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Maybe they'll get around to inventing a time machine soon! I'm getting impatient for my trip to see Ludwig. Hopefully I won't have to sleep with Kim Jong-un to gain access to the time machine.


You just need to find a hitchhikers guide to the galaxy simple...............


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Why not? He reminds me of Ludwig! And is North Korea really that different from early 19th century Vienna? :lol:


The big difference is that Ludwig is the greatest composer of all time, and Kim Jong-un is a tyrant!*

*Uh-oh, if the North Korean government sees this, I could get arrested.  On second thought, I'd better say that the Dear Leader is sexy. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> The big difference is that Ludwig is the greatest composer of all time, and Kim Jong-un is a tyrant!*
> 
> *Uh-oh, if the North Korean government sees this, I could get arrested.  On second thought, I'd better say that the Dear Leader is sexy. :lol:


In North Korea, they say that Kim Jong-un is the best ever. In everything. Ludwig does not even exist in their world! Hey, who are we to argue? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kim Jong-un wrote Beethovens 5th didn't you know...............


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> In North Korea, they say that Kim Jong-un is the best ever. In everything. Ludwig does not even exist in their world! Hey, who are we to argue? :lol:


Having sex with Kim Jong-un could be dangerous...if I accidentally called him the wrong name during sex (Ludwig, Lenny, Neil...), he might chop off my head!


----------



## hpowders

If a person engineers a poll and a poster replies "That is none of your business!" regarding all the thread choices, is he simply being truthful or intentionally provocative, and if the latter and he continues to do this consistantly, why is he still permitted to post?

I have other good thread ideas too!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> If a person engineers a poll and a poster replies "That is none of your business!", is he simply being truthful or intentionally provocative, and if the latter and he continues to do this consistantly, why is he still permitted to post?
> 
> I have other good thread ideas too!


Truthful. I believe that was the greatest response to a poll on TC. I gave him a Like. 



Bettina said:


> Having sex with Kim Jong-un could be dangerous...if I accidentally called him the wrong name during sex (Ludwig, Lenny, Neil...), he might chop off my head!


His orgasm might be so great that he might accidentally press the red button to launch his nukes. Of course, they probably only go as far as the length of his d!ck. About 5 inches? It'll end up hitting you! Oh no! We can't lose Bettina! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> If a person engineers a poll and a poster replies "That is none of your business!", is he simply being truthful or intentionally provocative, and if the latter and he continues to do this consistantly, why is he still permitted to post?
> 
> I have other good thread ideas too!


I was wondering about that too. If he doesn't want to answer, then he should just stay away from the poll. Also, I'm surprised that he views the poll question as being too personal and invasive. If he thinks that Baroque preferences are private business, then what would he say about my STI disclosures??


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I was wondering about that too. If he doesn't want to answer, then he should just stay away from the poll. Also, I'm surprised that he views the poll question as being too personal and invasive. If he thinks that Baroque preferences are private business, then what would he say about my STI disclosures??


I think he would want to Put-in your panties! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I think he would want to Put-in your panties! :devil:


He'd probably be thrilled if I accidentally called him Tchaikovsky! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> He'd probably be thrilled if I accidentally called him Tchaikovsky! :lol:


Do the Russians really like gay people though? It wouldn't surprise me if Boris Tchaikovsky is more celebrated than Peter. Ok, they'll just say that Peter being gay is fake news.  Not even the Russians can lie about Boris being great! :lol:

So how much of a TC god am I? I eat French bread pizza for lunch this afternoon and there is a thread about French and Italian composers. Someone must have been inspired by my farts to make that post. :angel:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I was wondering about that too. If he doesn't want to answer, then he should just stay away from the poll. Also, I'm surprised that he views the poll question as being too personal and invasive. If he thinks that Baroque preferences are private business, then what would he say about my STI disclosures??


Yes. Nobody forced him to participate. Such a grouch!!!

I did a double take upon reading his reply! I've never seen anything like it.

Interesting that he hasn't showered us yet with his affectionate critiques of your various hopes, dreams and fantasies.

Perhaps you should post something suggestive on that very thread and see what happens. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yes. Nobody forced him to participate. Such a grouch!!!
> 
> I did a double take upon reading his reply! I've never seen anything like it.
> 
> Interesting that he hasn't showered us yet with his affectionate critiques of your various hopes, dreams and fantasies.
> 
> Perhaps you should post something suggestive on that very thread and see what happens. :lol:


Who are we to judge? Maybe he had a poor sexual experience with Lully before. Maybe the pole (staff?) brought up old "wounds."


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Do the Russians really like gay people though? It wouldn't surprise me if Boris Tchaikovsky is more celebrated than Peter. Ok, they'll just say that Peter being gay is fake news.  Not even the Russians can lie about Boris being great! :lol:
> 
> So how much of a TC god am I? I eat French bread pizza for lunch this afternoon and there is a thread about French and Italian composers. Someone must have been inspired by my farts to make that post. :angel:


He's obsessed with Tchaikovsky. I don't know if that's a typical attitude in Russia or not, but he's been posting angry comments in one of the poll threads, ranting about how Tchaikovsky isn't getting enough votes.

That's impressive how your lunch foreshadowed the upcoming TC poll! Are you clairvoyant? In that case, please tell me if I'll ever get to have sex with Beethoven!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> He's obsessed with Tchaikovsky. I don't know if that's a typical attitude in Russia or not, but he's been posting angry comments in one of the poll threads, ranting about how Tchaikovsky isn't getting enough votes.
> 
> That's impressive how your lunch foreshadowed the upcoming TC poll! Are you clairvoyant? In that case, please tell me if I'll ever get to have sex with Beethoven!


My Magic 8 Balls say, "Not a chance." Sorry. It sounds like your chances of having sex with Beethoven are about the same as they are with Tchaikovsky. I know you'll be so upset to not have a 3-way with Peter and that weird poll guy!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> My Magic 8 Balls say, "Not a chance." Sorry. It sounds like your chances of having sex with Beethoven are about the same as they are with Tchaikovsky. I know you'll be so upset to not have a 3-way with Peter and that weird poll guy!


Haha, I could certainly do without the weird poll guy, but I'd love to have Peter put his swan in my lake.*

*Wow, I think I've just come up with the most cringe-worthy euphemism of all time! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Haha, I could certainly do without the weird poll guy, but I'd love to have Peter put his swan in my lake.*
> 
> *Wow, I think I've just come up with the most cringe-worthy euphemism of all time! :lol:


Peter says that your attempt to crack his nuts is pathétique!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Peter says that your attempt to crack his nuts is pathétique!


:lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Word from President Trump: Don't buy Hyundais and Kias. They will be obsolete.

Nothing but Fords and Chevys in your future!

Message to American white female golfers: You will finally be able to compete again!!

So, this is how we make America great again: by vaporizing the entire Korean Peninsula!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Word from President Trump: Don't buy Hyundais and Kias. They will be obsolete.
> 
> Message to American white female golfers: You will finally be able to compete again!!
> 
> So, this is how we make America great again: by vaporizing the entire Korean Peninsula!


Maybe he'll try to make American violin sections great again? :lol:

Just kidding, of course!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Maybe he'll try to make American violin sections great again? :lol:
> 
> Just kidding, of course!


I realize you are hung up on throbbing vibrato.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I realize you are hung up on throbbing vibrato.


You meant to send that reply to Bettina, right?  :lol::devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You meant to send that reply to Bettina, right?  :lol::devil:


Hold on.....I just got my glasses....oh I'm sorry, yes, it was meant for Bettina!


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Hold on.....I just got my glasses....oh I'm sorry, yes, it was meant for Bettina!


She should post "I'm turned on by pulsating throbbing vibrato, the music Tchaikovsky would have loved." on French/Italian Baroque for an honest critique from Gulag.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> She should post what I wrote on Italian/French Baroque and see if it gets critiqued by Gulag.


He's a Tchaikovsky fan. Pulling down her panties for him might be like her pulling down her panties for Richard Simmons. It wouldn't move at all!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> He's a Tchaikovsky fan. Pulling down her panties for him might be like her pulling down her panties for Richard Simmons. It wouldn't move at all!


At least Simmons had a sense of humor.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> At least Simmons had a sense of humor.


As you know, the Russians are only funny when the moose and squirrel are around.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> He's a Tchaikovsky fan. Pulling down her panties for him might be like her pulling down her panties for Richard Simmons. It wouldn't move at all!


He would register 1.7 on the Richter scale. Bettina drops a QTip®™, it registers 6.5 on the Richter scale.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> He would register 1.7 on the Richter scale. Bettina drops a QTip®™, it registers 6.5 on the Richter scale.


More than that! We'd know where that Q-tip was going! :devil: Unless, of course, she's using it as a tampon substitute or something for some reason!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> More than that! We'd know where that Q-tip was going! :devil: Unless, of course, she's using it as a tampon substitute or something for some reason!


LOL, I'd better not try using a Q-tip as a tampon substitute! I'd end up getting a lot of red polka dots on my granny panties. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> LOL, I'd better not try using a Q-tip as a tampon substitute! I'd end up getting a lot of red polka dots on my granny panties. :lol:


A Q-tip isn't absorbent enough? I'm not sure if I'd want any details about your tampons. Ok, I KNOW I don't want any details about your tampons!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> A Q-top isn't absorbent enough? I'm not sure if I'd want any details about your tampons. Ok, I KNOW I don't want any details about your tampons!


I would never reveal such things anyway. A lady knows the importance of keeping certain things private, in order to preserve her charm and mystique.

(Oh, who am I fooling? I've already posted about dingleberries in my a*s...how could there be any mystique LEFT?) :lol: :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I would never reveal such things anyway. A lady knows the importance of keeping certain things private, in order to preserve her charm and mystique.
> 
> (Oh, who am I fooling? I've already posted about dingleberries in my a*s...how could there be any mystique LEFT?) :lol: :lol:


Poll: What's more gross, Bettina's menstrual fluids or her dingleberries?

This is a very difficult question! I'm listening to some wonderful 16th century organ ricercari right now. It's very "reflective" music. And, yet, what am I thinking about? How someone like Bettina is made up of sugar, spice,and all things nice, yet has the grodiness (real word?) of the monthly visitor and dingleberries!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Poll: What's more gross, Bettina's menstrual fluids or her dingleberries?
> 
> This is a very difficult question! I'm listening to some wonderful 16th century organ ricercari right now. It's very "reflective" music. And, yet, what am I thinking about? How someone like Bettina is made up of sugar, spice,and all things nice, yet has the grodiness (real word?) of the monthly visitor and dingleberries!


Thank you for your kind words about sugar and spice! The coexistence of sweet and gross things is an interesting topic and definitely worthy of reflection. There's a brilliant poem by Jonathan Swift on that very issue, where he describes his horror at finding a piece of Scheiße in his girlfriend's chamber pot.  Here's the link: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Thank you for your kind words about sugar and spice! The coexistence of sweet and gross things is an interesting topic and definitely worthy of reflection. There's a brilliant poem by Jonathan Swift on that very issue, where he describes his horror at finding a piece of Scheiße in his girlfriend's chamber pot.  Here's the link: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room


I know it's like _Good Will Hunting_, but I remember this student I know at work (a music student no less) who was dumped by the hottest girl at the school. He was crying about it. It was a short romance, but he thought she was going to marry him. It was his first real girlfriend too. They slept together and everything, but I asked him if he ever heard/smelled her fart. It was kind of a random question at the time, but I told him he can't really say he loves a woman until he smells her farts and then sticks around! :lol:

Well, at least we aren't talking about our smegma or something! :lol:

But, yeah, I really don't think you have dingleberries. I'm sure you'll clean them if you do!  Menstruation, OTOH, ! The funny thing is that when you are a granny (or old enough to be one), you won't need your granny panties!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I know it's like _Good Will Hunting_, but I remember this student I know at work (a music student no less) who was dumped by the hottest girl at the school. He was crying about it. It was a short romance, but he thought she was going to marry him. It was his first real girlfriend too. They slept together and everything, but I asked him if he ever heard/smelled her fart. It was kind of a random question at the time, but I told him he can't really say he loves a woman until he smells her farts and then sticks around! :lol:
> 
> Well, at least we aren't talking about our smegma or something! :lol:
> 
> But, yeah, I really don't think you have dingleberries. I'm sure you'll clean them if you do!  Menstruation, OTOH, ! *The funny thing is that when you are a granny (or old enough to be one), you won't need your granny panties!*


I know, it's funny how they're called granny panties. Maybe it's because they're big enough to hold a diaper, which is something that many old ladies might need! Ah, the circle of life...from one type of underwear stain to another. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I know, it's funny how they're called granny panties. Maybe it's because they're big enough to hold a diaper, which is something that many old ladies might need! Ah, the circle of life...from one type of underwear stain to another. :lol:


You really don't love someone until you love their incontinence! :lol: But, yeah, we are born into the world crying, screaming, and pooping all over ourselves. That's how we go out too if we live long enough! If you're Beethoven, it's just normal middle life! 

But, anyway, I'm still convinced you're made up of sugar, spice, and all things nice. I'll just ignore the periods and the eventual need for Depends.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> More than that! We'd know where that Q-tip was going! :devil: Unless, of course, she's using it as a tampon substitute or something for some reason!


No, that would be a jumbo, disposable cotton ball.

Must I teach you everything?


----------



## hpowders

Your all-inclusive poll.

List your favorite choices for anything and everything.

Round, the first:

I'll start: cotton swabs: QTips®™

Let's tally up the results to see how many pointless correlations there may be.

I know! I know!: IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS!!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Your all-inclusive poll.
> 
> List your favorite choices for anything and everything.
> 
> Round, the first:
> 
> I'll start: cotton swabs: QTips®™
> 
> Let's tally up the results to see how many pointless correlations there may be.
> 
> I KNOW, GULAG: IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS!!!


Condoms: Hefty Heavy Duty Large Garbage Bags

It's just the right size, but I have to double or triple bag just to make sure! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Condoms: Hefty Heavy Duty Large Garbage Bags
> 
> It's just the right size, but I have to double or triple bag just to make sure! :lol:


Yes. You may not want a lot of little Klassik Komics running around.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yes. We don't want a lot of little Klassik Komics running around.


Hey, we have to get some young classical fans somehow, right? :lol:

The garbage bags contain the fishy smells!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Poll: Popular easy listening Composer vs Innovative creative more difficult listening Composer*


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Poll: Popular easy listening Composer vs Innovative creative more difficult listening Composer*


In other words, Neil Diamond vs. Beethoven? Impossible to choose! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> In other words, Neil Diamond vs. Beethoven? Impossible to choose! :lol:


Yeah that kind of thing, how did you know - guess you know them both intimately.............


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah that kind of thing, how did you know - guess you know them both intimately.............


Did her sticky cassettes give it away? 

I challenge the premise that Neil Diamond is "easy listening." I found it very difficult to listen to him! I only made it through that CD by imagining what Bettina would do to herself if she was listening to it! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah that kind of thing, how did you know - guess you know them both intimately.............


Yes, I've had many orgasms with both of them - although they are totally unaware of it! (Well, Neil might know about it by now, if he's reading this site.) :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, I've had many orgasms with both of them - although they are totally unaware of it! (Well, Neil might know about it by now, if he's reading this site.) :lol:


So, which one is better in bed? I'm guessing Neil Diamond! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So, which one is better in bed? I'm guessing Neil Diamond! :lol:


It depends on my mood. When I'm in the mood for flamboyance and slickness, then I prefer Neil. But if I want a rumpled genius to throw me down and pound out the final cadence, then Ludwig's the man!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It depends on my mood. When I'm in the mood for flamboyance and slickness, then I prefer Neil. But if I want a rumpled genius to throw me down and pound out the final cadence, then Ludwig's the man!


Well, I'm guessing if you're wanting good hygiene, you're stuck with Neil! :lol: Beethoven seems more like a pounder though, I'll give you that! Do you ever have bite marks on your body after a Beethoven orgasm?

Do you have any other crushes on pop singers? Maybe there's someone else you're refusing to tell us about! 

I don't have a crush on her and I don't wax my carrot to her or anything, but I like the music of Madonna. Well, the earlier stuff at least. Hey, I admit it! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Well, I'm guessing if you're wanting good hygiene, you're stuck with Neil! :lol: Beethoven seems more like a pounder though, I'll give you that! Do you ever have bite marks on your body after a Beethoven orgasm?
> 
> Do you have any other crushes on pop singers? Maybe there's someone else you're refusing to tell us about!
> 
> I don't have a crush on her and I don't wax my carrot to her or anything, but I like the music of Madonna. Well, the earlier stuff at least. Hey, I admit it! :lol:


No bite marks, unfortunately! My imagination isn't vivid enough to produce those.

I don't currently have any other crushes on pop singers, but when I was in my early teens I used to love country music  and I had a crush on Vince Gill! It's hard for me to connect with those feelings nowadays, but I used to spend many hours touching myself to his music during my middle school years!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No bite marks, unfortunately! My imagination isn't vivid enough to produce those.
> 
> I don't currently have any other crushes on pop singers, but when I was in my early teens I used to love country music  and I had a crush on Vince Gill! It's hard for me to connect with those feelings nowadays, but I used to spend many hours touching myself to his music during my middle school years!


You started early, huh? 

Wow, country music! Are you sure you're not from Bakersfield?  I'm from Texas and I've never liked country music. The 1990s were tough when it was so popular. Everyone at school either liked that or terrible metal music. Well, I'm glad that you're over that stage, although it's a bit odd that you were ever there to begin with! I won't laugh at you (well, not much at least) for liking country music at one time.

I will say that I like John Denver more than Neil Diamond! Not that I'm a Denver fan, but don't hate me for saying that! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You started early, huh?
> 
> Wow, country music! Are you sure you're not from Bakersfield?  I'm from Texas and I've never liked country music. The 1990s were tough when it was so popular. Everyone at school either liked that or terrible metal music. Well, I'm glad that you're over that stage, although it's a bit odd that you were ever there to begin with! I won't laugh at you (well, not much at least) for liking country music at one time.
> 
> I will say that I like John Denver more than Neil Diamond! Not that I'm a Denver fan, but don't hate me for saying that! :lol:


Yeah, I definitely started my self-touching activities very early! I was quite a precocious 12-year-old, spending hours in my room having multiple orgasms with country music. Please do feel free to laugh!! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I definitely started my self-touching activities very early! I was quite a precocious 12-year-old, spending hours in my room having multiple orgasms with country music. Please do feel free to laugh!! :lol:


12? I guess you found the pot of gold early on! :lol: So all of this started with country music. There would be no Beethoven romance without Vince Gill and who knows all else? 

Here in Houston, we used to call country music fans Kikkers. KIKK was one of the big country music stations at the time and they called their listeners kikkers. I'll call you a kikker! :lol:

Did your parents like weird music or something? I think my older brother would have kikked my butt if I listened to country music in the 1990s!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I'm sure you two would get arrested for this in NK................


----------



## Jacred

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I definitely started my self-touching activities very early! I was quite a precocious 12-year-old, spending hours in my room having multiple orgasms with country music. Please do feel free to laugh!! :lol:


:lol::lol::lol:

Now that I've had my laugh....tell me again how you had time to practice the piano


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> 12? I guess you found the pot of gold early on! :lol: So all of this started with country music. There would be no Beethoven romance without Vince Gill and who knows all else?
> 
> Here in Houston, we used to call country music fans Kikkers. KIKK was one of the big country music stations at the time and they called their listeners kikkers. I'll call you a kikker! :lol:
> 
> Did your parents like weird music or something? I think my older brother would have kikked my butt if I listened to country music in the 1990s!


Actually, my parents love classical music. They almost never listen to anything non-classical - definitely no pop or country! Maybe country music was my way of rebelling against my parents...my form of adolescent defiance! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> :lol::lol::lol:
> 
> Now that I've had my laugh....tell me again how you had time to practice the piano


I usually practiced the piano in the afternoons after school. The country-induced orgasms generally took place when I was in bed at night...I would lie in bed and listen to Vince Gill and, well, you know!  My parents didn't mind me listening to music all night; they assumed that I just enjoyed hearing music while I was asleep. Little did they know that I was sleeping WITH the music!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Actually, my parents love classical music. They almost never listen to anything non-classical - definitely no pop or country! Maybe country music was my way of rebelling against my parents...my form of adolescent defiance! :lol:


I think my dad had the right idea then. He loved classical above all else (including opera), but he listened to a lot of jazz, disco, pop, and even the odd country album or two (Charlie Daniels mainly it seems). I suppose there were a few genres he didn't listen to, but otherwise I would have had a hard time finding an area where it would be rebellious! :lol:



Bettina said:


> I usually practiced the piano in the afternoons after school. The country-induced orgasms generally took place when I was in bed at night...I would lie in bed and listen to Vince Gill and, well, you know!  My parents didn't mind me listening to music all night; they assumed that I just enjoyed hearing music while I was asleep. Little did they know that I was sleeping WITH the music!


It's all fingering practice in the end, what's the big deal?  Do you find the night time to still be the best time or do you like to "spread" it around during the day? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It's all fingering practice in the end, what's the big deal?  Do you find the night time to still be the best time or do you like to "spread" it around during the day? :devil:


In general, I still prefer nighttime. On most days, it would be inconvenient to incorporate self-touching into my daily schedule. :lol: I'm usually exhausted after a huge multiorgasmic session and I might have trouble focusing on a piano lesson immediately afterward! Also, it would feel kind of dirty and inappropriate, teaching a lesson immediately after my fingers had been "down there" (of course, I would wash my hands first, but still...)


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Help me like Fallini!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> In general, I still prefer nighttime. On most days, it would be inconvenient to incorporate self-touching into my daily schedule. I'm usually exhausted after a huge multiorgasmic session and I might have trouble focusing on a piano lesson immediately afterward! Also, it would feel kind of dirty and inappropriate, teaching a lesson immediately after my fingers had been "down there" (of course, I would wash my hands first, but still...)


Yeah, "rubbing one out" in the evening is pretty relaxing! :lol: It helps lead to a good night of rest. Of course, sometimes the morning is a good time too. I might as well put that morning wood to good use! 

I can only imagine what you look like after a "session." Does your hair get all messed up and everything? :lol:

Back to the parental musical preferences for a second, it is a bit weird that I have my dad's cassette recordings from around the time I came to be. I know that he was into jazz at the time based on his recordings. I like jazz, but more of the pop-jazz variety like Chuck Mangione and Herb Alpert. I don't know if you know about Alpert, but he's probably "finger worthy" even if you don't like his music!


----------



## hpowders

Can using QTips®™ twice a day help me get a good ear? How long will it take?
I trained my husband, but the ear is so different!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Help me like Fallini!


Help me like fellatio!

_Not really. I already like getting it and have no interest in giving it!_ 



hpowders said:


> Can using QTips®™ twice a day help me get a good ear? How long will it take?
> I trained my husband, but the ear is so different!


Your husband isn't Beethoven, is he? :lol: Or maybe he is and he ruptured his eardrum with a Q-tip?

Pro Qtip: Qtips won't give you good ears.


----------



## Scopitone

As I understand it, chicks dig bad boys. Here's a nice pic for Bettina. In case she needs, er, material. . .

He's got a Heathcliff thing going on there, too. And maybe a bit of Darcy.


----------



## Scopitone

Klassik said:


> I like jazz, but more of the pop-jazz variety like Chuck Mangione and Herb Alpert. I don't know if you know about Alpert, but he's probably "finger worthy" even if you don't like his music!


Can't speak for the ladies. But I do know that the Space Age Bachelor Pad Music you're talking about, which I also like very much, has a lot of album covers useful for us dudes.


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> Can't speak for the ladies. But I do know that the Space Age Bachelor Pad Music you're talking about, which I also like very much, has a lot of album covers useful for us dudes.


The most famous one of them all!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I can only imagine what you look like after a "session." Does your hair get all messed up and everything? :lol:
> 
> Back to the parental musical preferences for a second, it is a bit weird that I have my dad's cassette recordings from around the time I came to be. I know that he was into jazz at the time based on his recordings. I like jazz, but more of the pop-jazz variety like Chuck Mangione and Herb Alpert. I don't know if you know about Alpert, but he's probably "finger worthy" even if you don't like his music!


Yeah, my hair looks pretty wild after a hot session - the whole "bedroom hair" thing. I could never teach a lesson looking like that...I'm supposed to be a role model for today's youth (I know, right?) :lol:

I've actually never heard of Alpert...I know very little about jazz. That style of music doesn't appeal to me, and it wouldn't work well for my solo sessions. The structure doesn't seem tight enough; it's generally too free in form, and it doesn't give me the sense of momentum that I need when I'm building toward my orgasm(s)! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, my hair looks pretty wild after a hot session - the whole "bedroom hair" thing. I could never teach a lesson looking like that...I'm supposed to be a role model for today's youth (I know, right?) :lol:


I'm not sure how the two of us ended up becoming educators! :lol: You must really get into it! You aren't just feeling your way around there, you're really getting on it! It sounds very wild! :devil:



> I've actually never heard of Alpert...I know very little about jazz. That style of music doesn't appeal to me, and it wouldn't work well for my solo sessions. The structure doesn't seem tight enough; it's generally too free in form, and it doesn't give me the sense of momentum that I need when I'm building toward my orgasm(s)! :devil:


Alpert was a huge name in the 1960s. Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass was one of the biggest names in jazz/instrumental pop. Alpert did some different stuff in the late 1970s (lots of disco jazz I guess you could say), but a lot of it was still Spanish themed. His _Rise_ album is very famous and has several works on it that I enjoy. I really like his take on Rodrigo's Aranjuez:






But, anyway, he's still making new albums in his 80s and is a noted sculptor as well. He formed A&M Records, a big record label at one time, and made a lot of money doing that. A&M was pretty famous for giving artists more control over their music and for improving the audio sound quality. He's quite a figure in the music world and someone I respect.


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> Can using QTips®™ twice a day help me get a good ear? How long will it take?
> I trained my husband, but the ear is so different!


Yes, you can train your ears to distinguish less sounds with them.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina;s favourite movie for sure


----------



## Klassik

STI: Would you trust Bettina and Klassik to educate your children?

I know I try to _act_professional. I assure you that it's only an act, but I still take the job seriously believe it or not! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Bettina;s favourite movie for sure


Never seen that one. I'm guessing this isn't Bettina's favorite movie:










:devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> STI: Would you trust Bettina and Klassik to educate your children?
> 
> I know I try to _act_professional. I assure you that it's only an act, but I still take the job seriously believe it or not! :lol:


If the parents of my students ever saw my STI posts, they would definitely pull their kids out of my studio.  On the other _hand _(heh, heh), the parents might then decide to pay me for some activities of a different kind! The moms would want lessons in how to touch themselves with proper technique, and the dads would want to watch my solo shows! :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Never seen that one. I'm guessing this isn't Bettina's favorite movie:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :devil:


Well guess what today is your lucky day................


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> If the parents of my students ever saw my STI posts, they would definitely pull their kids out of my studio.  On the other _hand _(heh, heh), the parents might then decide to pay me for some activities of a different kind! The moms would want lessons in how to touch themselves with proper technique, *and the dads would want to watch my solo shows!* :devil:


I'm not a dad, but sign me up! :devil:

Have you ever seriously considered offering lessons like that? You certainly don't seem like an amateur! You'd probably have to give up teaching piano if you did. The parents who are prudes would not be happy if they found out! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Well guess what today is your lucky day................


I'll check it out when I get home. I'm at work right now. As always, I keep it professional at work. Hey, don't laugh, I actually have pants AND underwear on right now! :lol:

I'm trying to see if we can hire Bettina here to teach some adult education classes as an adjunct. :devil: I don't mean piano classes either, although we do have those and I'm sure she'd be great at that!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'm not a dad, but sign me up! :devil:
> 
> *Have you ever seriously considered offering lessons like that?* You certainly don't seem like an amateur! You'd probably have to give up teaching piano if you did. The parents who are prudes would not be happy if they found out! :lol:


No, I actually wouldn't enjoy being watched, believe it or not! It's funny, because I love to engage in verbal exhibitionism (obviously!) but I wouldn't want to perform my solo activities in front of an audience. I like to be alone with my "harem": Neil Diamond, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Liszt, Bernstein - and Vince Gill for old times' sake!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No, I actually wouldn't enjoy being watched, believe it or not! It's funny, because I love to engage in verbal exhibitionism (obviously!) but I wouldn't want to perform my solo activities in front of an audience. I like to be alone with my "harem": Neil Diamond, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Liszt, Bernstein - and Vince Gill for old times' sake!


Maybe online classes then! You can teach using a pseudonym then. :lol: Miss Goodfingers? 

Do you grunt with a country twang when you "play along" with country music like Vince Gill's songs? And then maybe have angrier grunts for German and Russian composers? Your parents must have wondered why you were breathing so heavily when listening to music at night!


----------



## Phil loves classical

Bettina said:


> If the parents of my students ever saw my STI posts, they would definitely pull their kids out of my studio.  On the other _hand _(heh, heh), the parents might then decide to pay me for some activities of a different kind! The moms would want lessons in how to touch themselves with proper technique, and the dads would want to watch my solo shows! :devil:


Wutdaheck? Another sexual self-expression polluted thread?


----------



## Klassik

Phil loves classical said:


> Wutdaheck? Another sexual self-expression polluted thread?


It's STI. What were you expecting? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

More general pollution maybe? not sure


----------



## Phil loves classical

Klassik said:


> I'm not a dad, but sign me up! :devil:
> 
> Have you ever seriously considered offering lessons like that? You certainly don't seem like an amateur! You'd probably have to give up teaching piano if you did. The parents who are prudes would not be happy if they found out! :lol:


Yeah, I think she would have a great career. All of these posts have been great PR.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Maybe online classes then! You can teach using a pseudonym then. :lol: Miss Goodfingers?
> 
> Do you grunt with a country twang when you "play along" with country music like Vince Gill's songs? And then maybe have angrier grunts for German and Russian composers? Your parents must have wondered why you were breathing so heavily when listening to music at night!


Good question! I never noticed if my moans change depending on what I'm hearing. That certainly would be funny if I did a German-accented grunt for Ludwig, and a twangy moan for Vince! What should I do for Lenny? Maybe break into a song like "I feel horny." :devil:

Hopefully my parents never heard any of my gasps and moans during my misspent adolescence...they probably just thought that it was the background singers doing various harmony sounds. At least, that's what I always told myself!


----------



## Bettina

Phil loves classical said:


> Yeah, I think she would have a great career. All of these posts have been great PR.


Hmmm...I don't know if there would be much interest in a woman touching herself to classical music and screaming "f*** me, Ludwig, I love your cadences!" Yeah, the solo-touching is hot, but the accompanying stuff might only appeal to a very small niche market.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^ it would sell like hotcakes and make classical music great again:lol:


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> As I understand it, chicks dig bad boys. Here's a nice pic for Bettina. In case she needs, er, material. . .
> 
> He's got a Heathcliff thing going on there, too. And maybe a bit of Darcy.


Maybe some Ricky Nelson too.

Anyhow, don't waste the sketch. She thinks the Violin Concerto is second-rate Beethoven.
For me, it is Beethoven at the summit.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Yes, you can train your ears to distinguish less sounds with them.


Do they work better with wax cylinders?

I just want to know why!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Maybe some Ricky Nelson too.
> 
> Anyhow, don't waste the sketch. She thinks the Violin Concerto is second-rate Beethoven.
> For me, it is Beethoven at the summit.


Well, even second-rate Beethoven is amazing! But yes, I must admit that I prefer his more aggressive pieces, where I can imagine him pumping furiously on top of me. His Violin Concerto isn't quite in that style.


----------



## Phil loves classical

Bettina said:


> Hmmm...I don't know if there would be much interest in a woman touching herself to classical music and screaming "f*** me, Ludwig, I love your cadences!" Yeah, the solo-touching is hot, but the accompanying stuff might only appeal to a very small niche market.


I think there is some interesting contrast between Classical Music bourgeois elitism and explicit sexual content in that. It sounds like money just waiting to happen.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Good question! I never noticed if my moans change depending on what I'm hearing. That certainly would be funny if I did a German-accented grunt for Ludwig, and a twangy moan for Vince! What should I do for Lenny? Maybe break into a song like "I feel horny." :devil:
> 
> Hopefully my parents never heard any of my gasps and moans during my misspent adolescence...they probably just thought that it was the background singers doing various harmony sounds. At least, that's what I always told myself!


Bernstein would like a good song! I don't know if this is true, but I heard that he was of Russian ethnicity. Maybe he'd like what Tchaikovsky wants? They probably both want to stick it in the same backdoor hole! 

STI: What's more disturbing, hearing your parents get at it or hearing your kid pleasure themselves to country music? 

Some STIs are best not to think about!



Phil loves classical said:


> I think there is some interesting contrast between Classical Music bourgeois elitism and explicit sexual content in that. It sounds like money just waiting to happen.


Oh yeah. Just look at some of those CD covers Vaneyes found! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Well, even second-rate Beethoven is amazing! But yes, I must admit that I prefer his more aggressive pieces, where I can imagine him pumping furiously on top of me. His Violin Concerto isn't quite in that style.


Wellington's Victory then, right? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

TC Announcement Section:

Enrollment for Third Viennese School will close on July 16, 2017.

Tuition reasonable. Bitcoin.

See you in Linz! I will be the smiling white guy on the corner, to take you to the school.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Wellington's Victory then, right? :lol:


LOL, yes, I must admit that I have done it to Wellington's Victory.  Those cannons are seriously hot! If I ever do a public show, I'll probably say some stuff like "Oh yeah, Wellington, give it to Napoleon!" :lol: :lol:


----------



## Phil loves classical

Klassik said:


> Oh yeah. Just look at some of those CD covers Vaneyes found! :lol:


Aww, you mean it's already been done before? Guess I have to move on to another exploit.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> LOL, yes, I must admit that I have done it to Wellington's Victory.  Those cannons are seriously hot! If I ever do a public show, I'll probably say some stuff like "Oh yeah, Wellington, give it to Napoleon!" :lol: :lol:


Can I buy a front row seat? :devil:

What's the strangest piece of classical music that you've done it to? We know you have a lot of weird pop music that you've had fun with! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> TC Announcement Section:
> 
> Enrollment for Third Viennese School will close on July 16, 2017.
> 
> Tuition reasonable. Bitcoin.
> 
> *See you in Linz! I will be the smiling white guy.*


As opposed to all the grumpy white guys in Linz? 

Fair warning, the Third Viennese School consists of Bettina and I teaching "methodology." Somehow I'm guessing Bettina will get a bigger crowd than I will, but that's okay. Free fish* for my audience! 
_
* = Ok, just fishy smelling substances._


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Can I buy a front row seat? :devil:
> 
> What's the strangest piece of classical music that you've done it to? We know you have a lot of weird pop music that you've had fun with! :lol:


The strangest piece? Probably the religious works: Beethoven's Missa Solemnis, Handel's Messiah, even Mozart's Requiem! (Well, I guess that one makes sense, because most of my "lovers" are dead!) I feel a little bit guilty about doing such a profane activity while listening to sacred music - but hey, lots of the female saints looked like they were having orgasms too! Have you seen the sculpture The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> As opposed to all the grumpy white guys in Linz?
> 
> Fair warning, the Third Viennese School consists of Bettina and I teaching "methodology." Somehow I'm guessing Bettina will get a bigger crowd than I will, but that's okay. Free fish* for my audience!
> _
> * = Ok, just fishy smelling substances._


Yeah, I'll teach my own unique version of the 12-tone style: keep going until you have 12 orgasms!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> The strangest piece? Probably the religious works: Beethoven's Missa Solemnis, Handel's Messiah, even Mozart's Requiem! (Well, I guess that one makes sense, because most of my "lovers" are dead!) I feel a little bit guilty about doing such a profane activity while listening to sacred music - but hey, lots of the female saints looked like they were having orgasms too! *Have you seen the sculpture The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa?* :lol:


That sounds like nunsense! :devil: Mozart wouldn't mind at all! In fact, I think he would be honored! Beethoven probably wouldn't have liked it. Handel's Messiah? Is the Hallelujah Chorus a great orgasm? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I'll teach my own unique version of the 12-tone style: keep going until you have 12 orgasms!


Yeah, this is so going to "beat" my class. Mine will be 4'33" of the greatest silence you've ever heard! 

12, huh? What's the most you've ever had...either with yourself or others. :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> That sounds like nunsense! :devil: Mozart wouldn't mind at all! In fact, I think he would be honored! Beethoven probably wouldn't have liked it. Handel's Messiah? * Is the Hallelujah Chorus a great orgasm? * :lol:


How did you know? That's exactly the section where I had some of my greatest orgasms! I'm sure that you can picture the scenario: imagine me thrashing on my bed, fingers busily working down there, singing along at the top of my voice "LORD OF LORDS! KING OF KINGS!" :lol: :lol: Maybe I should include that scene in my live show!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, this is so going to "beat" my class. Mine will be 4'33" of the greatest silence you've ever heard!
> 
> 12, huh? What's the most you've ever had...either with yourself or others. :devil:


I've never actually counted them up (I certainly couldn't count them on my fingers, which are occupied with other activities!!) I'd estimate that my record number is around 15. Then I usually have to take a break, listening to calmer music to wind down (Debussy is good for the cooldown). After resting for about 10 minutes or so, I'm sometimes ready to try for another round.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> How did you know? That's exactly the section where I had some of my greatest orgasms! I'm sure that you can picture the scenario: imagine me thrashing on my bed, fingers busily working down there, singing along at the top of my voice "LORD OF LORDS! KING OF KINGS!" :lol: :lol: Maybe I should include that scene in my live show!


Cum all ye faithful? 

Man, I wish it was Christmas. This is one classical warhorse that I MUST see! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Cum all ye faithful?
> 
> Man, I wish it was Christmas. This is one classical warhorse that I MUST see! :devil:


My singing is probably a bit off-key in the heat of the moment. The classical purists will say "Bettina's intonation on that high C was rather shaky." :scold: And I'll say "yeah, that's because my ***** was throbbing!" :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've never actually counted them up (I certainly couldn't count them on my fingers, which are occupied with other activities!!) I'd estimate that my record number is around 15. Then I usually have to take a break, listening to calmer music to wind down (Debussy is good for the cooldown). After resting for about 10 minutes or so, I'm sometimes ready to try for another round.


15? Wow! I'm lucky if I can make it 15 minutes by myself since there's no reason to slow down the tempo! :lol: If I go for that long, there won't be a 2nd session for a while or else it'll feel like it'll fall off!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> My singing is probably a bit off-key in the heat of the moment. The classical purists will say "Bettina's intonation on that high C was rather shaky." :scold: And I'll say "yeah, that's because my ***** was throbbing!" :lol:


In this circumstance, I think off-key singing is just fine! :lol: After 15 good ones, I'm not even sure how you control yourself! Is it just flat out screaming at that point? Pillow biting maybe? Your neighbors must think you're crazy! :lol: Not that you aren't, but you're crazy in a great way!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> In this circumstance, I think off-key singing is just fine! :lol: After 15 good ones, I'm not even sure how you control yourself! Is it just flat out screaming at that point? Pillow biting maybe? Your neighbors must think you're crazy! :lol: Not that you aren't, but you're crazy in a great way!


I usually try not to moan and scream too loudly - I would hate to disturb the neighbors. Also, it would be awkward to face them the next day, after a night of screaming "Franz*, your chromatic octaves make me horny." :lol:

*Franz Liszt, that is. When I address the other Franz - Franz Joseph Haydn - I say different things like "Come and surprise me, baby!" :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I usually try not to moan and scream too loudly - I would hate to disturb the neighbors. Also, it would be awkward to face them the next day, after a night of screaming "Franz*, your chromatic octaves make me horny." :lol:
> 
> *Franz Liszt, that is. When I address the other Franz - Franz Joseph Haydn - I say different things like "Come and surprise me, baby!" :lol:


That's unfortunate that you have to muzzle yourself like that when you're in that state! I guess you're used to it since you had to do that when you were younger! 

I'm not surprised that you would have Lisztomania. Haydn is understandable too! He wrote symphonies called La passione, The Miracle, The Queen, and Maria Theresia of course! What about Franz Schubert? :lol: He's not touch worthy? Or are you afraid of getting a disease? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> That's unfortunate that you have to muzzle yourself like that when you're in that state! I guess you're used to it since you had to do that when you were younger!
> 
> I'm not surprised that you would have Lisztomania. Haydn is understandable too! He wrote symphonies called La passione, The Miracle, The Queen, and Maria Theresia of course! What about Franz Schubert? :lol: He's not touch worthy? Or are you afraid of getting a disease? :devil:


Schubert's music actually doesn't turn me on, although I love listening to it in a non-sexual context. Most of his pieces are so sweet and dreamy - they don't have the bombast that I need for a good energetic session!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Schubert's music actually doesn't turn me on, although I love listening to it in a non-sexual context. Most of his pieces are so sweet and dreamy - they don't have the bombast that I need for a good energetic session!


So are there different movements within a session? Do you do it to the tempo of the music or is it very passionate/fast all throughout? What about with pop music? Each song is so short, what do you do?

Haydn also has The Schoolmaster, Alleluia and the Hornsignal. Or should it be the Hornysignal? :devil:

Do you ever dress up for a session? Put candles on?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


>


This was a pretty horny discussion...until you posted that!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So are there different movements within a session? Do you do it to the tempo of the music or is it very passionate/fast all throughout? What about with pop music? Each song is so short, what do you do?
> 
> Haydn also has The Schoolmaster, Alleluia and the Hornsignal. Or should it be the Hornysignal? :devil:
> 
> Do you ever dress up for a session? Put candles on?


If I'm doing it to a multi-movement work, I usually listen to the whole thing...I want to have the aesthetic experience that the composer intended (although he probably didn't intend the experience that I'm having! :lol I often do find myself synchronizing my pace to the speed of the movement.

For pop music, I generally listen to the album all the way through - again, it's because I want to have the unified experience that the artist had in mind (and also because I hate to get up and interrupt the momentum of my session).

Dressing up sounds fun, but no, I've never tried it. I usually keep it pretty simple - lights off, in bed, naked, with music playing. If I did a live show, I would have to spice things up a little bit more!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> This was a pretty horny discussion...until you posted that!


Yeah, Trump can have that effect on some people. 
Also, I was getting concerned that if you kept it "up" there would be a spike in the price on Lube oils......................


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah, Trump can have the effect on some people.
> Also, I was getting concerned that if you kept it "up" there would be a spike in the price on Lube oils......................


Yeah, the very thought of Trump makes my hole close up. There goes my plan for a hot session tonight!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> If I'm doing it to a multi-movement work, I usually listen to the whole thing...I want to have the aesthetic experience that the composer intended (although he probably didn't intend the experience that I'm having! :lol I often do find myself synchronizing my pace to the speed of the movement.
> 
> For pop music, I generally listen to the album all the way through - again, it's because I want to have the unified experience that the artist had in mind (and also because I hate to get up and interrupt the momentum of my session).
> 
> Dressing up sounds fun, but no, I've never tried it.* I usually keep it pretty simple - lights off, in bed, naked, with music playing.* If I did a live show, I would have to spice things up a little bit more!


No wonder you like Beethoven's 9th, it's so long (the symphony, not Beethoven )! It must be one heck of a time for you!

I don't know, it sounds pretty good as it is! :devil: It's just the woman, the composer, and the music that links the two of them! 

I hope you don't mind the questions, I'm just trying to understand what you experience! When you have these fantasies (or when just listening to music), is it purely sexual or do you think about other things as well?


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah, Trump can have that effect on some people.
> Also, I was getting concerned that if you kept it "up" there would be a spike in the price on Lube oils......................


I don't think Bettina needs any lube, she seems like she's slick enough on her own! :devil:



Bettina said:


> Yeah, the very thought of Trump makes my hole close up. There goes my plan for a hot session tonight!


 Don't let the people from the southern hemisphere interrupt your plans with your southern hemisphere!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> No wonder you like Beethoven's 9th, it's so long (the symphony, not Beethoven )! It must be one heck of a time for you!
> 
> I don't know, it sounds pretty good as it is! :devil: It's just the woman, the composer, and the music that links the two of them!
> 
> I hope you don't mind the questions, I'm just trying to understand what you experience! When you have these fantasies (or when just listening to music), is it purely sexual or do you think about other things as well?


These are great questions and I enjoy sharing details about my sessions! I imagine doing sexual stuff with the composers, but (this might sound weird) I also think about how great their music is. I mean, I literally have thoughts like "wow, that was an amazing chord progression" and I'm turned on by the brilliance of what's happening in the music! I also replay images in my head from videos of Lenny conducting, or Neil performing in concert, stuff like that. (Or sometimes I actually watch those videos while doing it.)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> These are great questions and I enjoy sharing details about my sessions! I imagine doing sexual stuff with the composers, but (this might sound weird) I also think about how great their music is. I mean, I literally have thoughts like "wow, that was an amazing chord progression" and I'm turned on by the brilliance of what's happening in the music! I also replay images in my head from videos of Lenny conducting, or Neil performing in concert, stuff like that. (Or sometimes I actually watch those videos while doing it.)


What's more strange, that you like to talk about it or that I enjoy reading about it? :lol: I'm trying to understand your world and I can see why you enjoy it so much! 

I guess you can't turn the musician off in you! What if there's a tiny part that you don't like in a piece you love as a whole? Do you interrupt the lovemaking to tell the composer that they made a mistake? :lol: I'm guessing not, but maybe you fake it during that stretch?

Also, what's the best pet names you have for composers you fantasize about? Or is that private information for the sake of protecting the composers?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Which composers were good at graft and corruption?


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Which composers were good at graft and corruption?


Schoenberg! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> What's more strange, that you like to talk about it or that I enjoy reading about it? :lol: I'm trying to understand your world and I can see why you enjoy it so much!
> 
> I guess you can't turn the musician off in you! What if there's a tiny part that you don't like in a piece you love as a whole? Do you interrupt the lovemaking to tell the composer that they made a mistake? :lol: I'm guessing not, but maybe you fake it during that stretch?
> 
> Also, what's the best pet names you have for composers you fantasize about? Or is that private information for the sake of protecting the composers?


I don't know if it's strange for you to be interested in this. Maybe we need a poll to see if anyone else is interested, so that we can determine whether your interest is normal (we already KNOW that I'm not normal...I think that's been pretty much established by now!! :lol I'm glad that you can see the appeal of my unusual "sex" life.

When there's a section of a piece that I don't like, I remind myself that the composer's judgment was superior to mine, and it's my fault for not appreciating his greatness. What I mean is, I try to channel my dislike into a sense of awe for his superior artistic vision. That way, the dislike doesn't get in the way of my admiration! I find it sexy to worship every single thing that the composer did, as if he were some kind of God (for some reason, it's erotic for me to think that way).

I don't have any unique pet names for the composers. I just use the standard nicknames, like Pete, Lenny, Luddy*...stuff like that. Oh, and LvB, of course.

*Actually, I'm not sure if Luddy is standard or not.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I don't know if it's strange for you to be interested in this. Maybe we need a poll to see if anyone else is interested, so that we can determine whether your interest is normal (we already KNOW that I'm not normal...I think that's been pretty much established by now!! :lol I'm glad that you can see the appeal of my unusual "sex" life.


I'm sure other people are interested, but their bosses would probably not approve! Literal bosses and wives! :lol: I'm sure some are disgusted by any sex talk at all, but people keep reading STI. What can I say?

I'm glad that you've explored and enjoy your own sexuality. I'm sure there's a long story behind it and it isn't such a simple thing as it may seem, but that's a discussion for another time and place as we know. Anyway, if you're enjoying it, what's the problem? I think female touching is very erotic. In many ways (multiple orgasms, etc.), it's much more remarkable than male sexuality.

How do you choose which composer you will listen to when you are in the mood? With classical music (aside from Bernstein), are there ever issues with the conductor/orchestra/performer getting in the way between you and the composer when you listen?

I'm surprised Tchaikovsky isn't Petey! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'm sure other people are interested, but their bosses would probably not approve! Literal bosses and wives! :lol: I'm sure some are disgusted by any sex talk at all, but people keep reading STI. What can I say?
> 
> I'm glad that you've explored and enjoy your own sexuality. I'm sure there's a long story behind it and it isn't such a simple thing as it may seem, but that's a discussion for another time and place as we know. Anyway, if you're enjoying it, what's the problem? I think female touching is very erotic. In many ways (multiple orgasms, etc.), it's much more remarkable than male sexuality.
> 
> How do you choose which composer you will listen to when you are in the mood? With classical music (aside from Bernstein), are there ever issues with the conductor/orchestra/performer getting in the way between you and the composer when you listen?
> 
> I'm surprised Tchaikovsky isn't Petey! :lol:


These are great questions! This is a fun STI interview.  It's usually easy for me to choose which composer to "sleep with." Whenever I'm in the mood for solo activities, I often feel a desire for a particular composer (or songwriter, in the case of Neil). It's kind of like when you're hungry and you have a specific idea of what you'd like to eat!

As for choosing which specific performance to hear, that's usually pretty easy too. I've settled on certain favorite recordings for each piece, where I feel that the interpretation matches my idea of the piece. It certainly helps if I find the performer(s) sexy too...for example, I think that Karajan is (I guess I should say was) pretty hot, so when I'm in the mood for Beethoven symphonies I often listen to his renditions.

Whenever I buy a new recording, I always listen to it in a non-sexual setting first to see if I like it. Then, if I deem it worthy, I incorporate it into my solo sessions.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> These are great questions! This is a fun STI interview.  It's usually easy for me to choose which composer to "sleep with." Whenever I'm in the mood for solo activities, I often feel a desire for a particular composer (or songwriter, in the case of Neil). It's kind of like when you're hungry and you have a specific idea of what you'd like to eat!
> 
> As for choosing which specific performance to hear, that's usually pretty easy too. I've settled on certain favorite recordings for each piece, where I feel that the interpretation matches my idea of the piece. It certainly helps if I find the performer(s) sexy too...for example, I think that Karajan is (I guess I should say was) pretty hot, so when I'm in the mood for Beethoven symphonies I often listen to his renditions.
> 
> Whenever I buy a new recording, I always listen to it in a non-sexual setting first to see if I like it. Then, if I deem it worthy, I incorporate it into my solo sessions.


Karajan? You let Nazis in your bedroom?  Who next, Wagner? :lol: Sorry for turning your sexy STI post into a TC political post! Back to our regularly scheduled sexiness! :devil:

What about those CDs that have works with multiple composers on it? My 1812 Overture/Wellington's Victory CD comes to mind. Do you give each composer a turn? Is it easy to switch between composers like that? Do you think they get jealous? :lol:

Are you ever surprised by the libidinal energy you get from a certain composer/musician? Like maybe you expected Mozart to be one way based on non-sexual listening, but it turned out some other way when in a fantasy?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Karajan? You let Nazis in your bedroom?  Who next, Wagner? :lol: Sorry for turning your sexy STI post into a TC political post! Back to our regularly scheduled sexiness! :devil:
> 
> What about those CDs that have works with multiple composers on it? My 1812 Overture/Wellington's Victory CD comes to mind. Do you give each composer a turn? Is it easy to switch between composers like that? Do you think they get jealous? :lol:
> 
> Are you ever surprised by the libidinal energy you get from a certain composer/musician? Like maybe you expected Mozart to be one way based on non-sexual listening, but it turned out some other way when in a fantasy?


I know, it is perverse of me to "sleep with" Karajan. But I tell myself that he didn't actually know much about the Nazi ideology, and he only joined because it gave him more career opportunities. However, I do draw the line at Wagner!

For compilation CDs, it depends on which composers are included. If there's a composer who turns me off (like Mahler or Bruckner - HUGE turn-off!!) then of course I'll get up and change the CD when it gets to that point. But if I like all the composers, then I'll usually listen to the whole thing. Sure, it might violate the principles of monogamy, but one of the great things about solo activity is that I can be polyamorous, without any risk of causing jealousy or hurt feelings!

I have occasionally been surprised - not just by what turns me on, but sometimes by what doesn't! To my amazement, I just can't do it to the second movement of Beethoven's Seventh Symphony. I love that movement, but I literally cannot have an orgasm while listening to it. I remember one time when I was trying and trying, and I couldn't get over the edge until the third movement started. From then on, I decided to use the second movement as a chance to take a break and focus entirely on hearing the music. Then I start up again when I get to the Scherzo.

On the other hand (heh, heh), I've found that Beethoven's Op. 127 works great, which I had not expected. I had initially thought that such a sublime piece might not work for me, but it turns out that it's perfect!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I know, it is perverse of me to "sleep with" Karajan. But I tell myself that he didn't actually know much about the Nazi ideology, and he only joined because it gave him more career opportunities. However, I do draw the line at Wagner!
> 
> For compilation CDs, it depends on which composers are included. If there's a composer who turns me off (like Mahler or Bruckner - HUGE turn-off!!) then of course I'll get up and change the CD when it gets to that point. But if I like all the composers, then I'll usually listen to the whole thing. Sure, it might violate the principles of monogamy, but one of the great things about solo activity is that I can be polyamorous, without any risk of causing jealousy or hurt feelings!
> 
> I have occasionally been surprised - not just by what turns me on, but sometimes by what doesn't! To my amazement, I just can't do it to the second movement of Beethoven's Seventh Symphony. I love that movement, but I literally cannot have an orgasm while listening to it. I remember one time when I was trying and trying, and I couldn't get over the edge until the third movement started. From then on, I decided to use the second movement as a chance to take a break and focus entirely on hearing the music. Then I start up again when I get to the Scherzo.
> 
> On the other hand (heh, heh), I've found that Beethoven's Op. 127 works great, which I had not expected. I had initially thought that such a sublime piece might not work for me, but it turns out that it's perfect!


I think Mahler and Bruckner saw this coming! That's why they wrote their symphonies to be as long as they are! They didn't want to share a CD!  I don't see how you could do it to Mahler's music. He couldn't even get it up in real life! :lol:

You seem to be making excuses for Karajan, but that's okay. I won't let that get in the way of some great orgasms! It's not like you're thinking of Hitler when you're doing it! 

I can see that with Beethoven's 7th symphony. Op. 127 was probably a pleasant surprise though!

When you're doing this, do you visualize the composers physically having sex with you or do you have more general thoughts about them and the music? Do they perform differently depending on the work? Also, are they consistent? Does Beethoven's 5th, for example, elicit the same response from you and Ludwig? Or are there new wrinkles each time (Ludwig's wrinkles I'm sure!)? :devil:

Also, is there a time/era component to things? Are you in the 21st century with dead composers or are you living in their time? Or is there no sense of time at all?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I think Mahler and Bruckner saw this coming! That's why they wrote their symphonies to be as long as they are! They didn't want to share a CD!  I don't see how you could do it to Mahler's music. He couldn't even get it up in real life! :lol:
> 
> You seem to be making excuses for Karajan, but that's okay. I won't let that get in the way of some great orgasms! It's not like you're thinking of Hitler when you're doing it!
> 
> I can see that with Beethoven's 7th symphony. Op. 127 was probably a pleasant surprise though!
> 
> When you're doing this, do you visualize the composers physically having sex with you or do you have more general thoughts about them and the music? Do they perform differently depending on the work? Also, are they consistent? Does Beethoven's 5th, for example, elicit the same response from you and Ludwig? Or are there new wrinkles each time (Ludwig's wrinkles I'm sure!)? :devil:
> 
> Also, is there a time/era component to things? Are you in the 21st century with dead composers or are you living in their time? Or is there no sense of time at all?


I usually don't have a constant narrative going on; my thoughts drift and flicker from moment to moment. None of it is consistent at all. It's very much a stream-of-consciousness process, where a caress might just last an instant and then I'm noticing a beautiful chord and then the composer gets on top of me...totally random and fragmented!

There really isn't any coherent sense of time either, although sometimes I have a vague impression of being in Ludwig's old hovel or Lenny's NYC apartment or whatever. But those are just fleeting images, and a moment later that same man might be in my bedroom or in a hotel with me!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I usually don't have a constant narrative going on; my thoughts drift and flicker from moment to moment. None of it is consistent at all. It's very much a stream-of-consciousness process, where a caress might just last an instant and then I'm noticing a beautiful chord and then the composer gets on top of me...totally random and fragmented!
> 
> There really isn't any coherent sense of time either, although sometimes I have a vague impression of being in Ludwig's old hovel or Lenny's NYC apartment or whatever. But those are just fleeting images, and a moment later that same man might be in my bedroom or in a hotel with me!


Yeah, I guess it's difficult to put that much thought into it when you're having orgasms! :lol: I don't know how much male and female orgasms are similar, but I lose total sense of time and space for a while.

Do you prefer to keep things consistent in terms of your methods and so forth or do you mix it up a little bit? Maybe use different rooms, routines, and so forth?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, I guess it's difficult to put that much thought into it when you're having orgasms! :lol: I don't know how much male and female orgasms are similar, but I lose total sense of time and space for a while.
> 
> Do you prefer to keep things consistent in terms of your methods and so forth or do you mix it up a little bit? Maybe use different rooms, routines, and so forth?


It certainly is difficult to maintain a coherent narrative thread when having intense erotic experiences! I basically go into a kind of trance, where my mind wanders through many different locations and time periods. That's one of the many reasons why I don't enjoy sex with partners as much...I'm not able to experience such an intense trance state when there's someone else with me!

For my solo activities, I usually use my bedroom. My bed is the most comfortable spot to do it. As for routines, I do sometimes vary my technique and position (I probably shouldn't go into too much explicit detail...I've already crossed so many lines here on TC!) :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It certainly is difficult to maintain a coherent narrative thread when having intense erotic experiences! I basically go into a kind of trance, where my mind wanders through many different locations and time periods. That's one of the many reasons why I don't enjoy sex with partners as much...I'm not able to experience such an intense trance state when there's someone else with me!
> 
> For my solo activities, I usually use my bedroom. My bed is the most comfortable spot to do it. As for routines, I do sometimes vary my technique and position (*I probably shouldn't go into too much explicit detail...I've already crossed so many lines here on TC!*)


All of a sudden you're getting shy?  Oh well, maybe you don't want to tell TC all of your secrets! 

An interesting thought crossed my mind. I hope you don't mind another potentially dumb question! Do you have any musicians you like who are off limits for whatever reason? Maybe because they had a loving wife or something. Respighi comes to mind as a possible example. Or are you willing to be a homewrecker? :devil: Is there ever a musician you like who you just don't find erotic at all? What about the reverse, someone you don't particularly care for, but you think there is some sort of passion there you like?

As for being with a partner, I think you'll be surprised how little we care about how much you're there mentally. Maybe that's just me though, I don't know. I guess don't assume that! :lol: I know that's not a sexy thing to say in a traditional romantic sense, but I don't see the issue with two people enjoying themselves in their own little worlds so to speak. Well, anyway, that's a different topic. Back to touching!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> All of a sudden you're getting shy?  Oh well, maybe you don't want to tell TC all of your secrets!
> An interesting thought crossed my mind. I hope you don't mind another potentially dumb question! Do you have any musicians you like who are off limits for whatever reason? Maybe because they had a loving wife or something. Respighi comes to mind as a possible example. Or are you willing to be a homewrecker? Is there ever a musician you like who you just don't find erotic at all? What about the reverse, someone you don't particularly care for, but you think there is some sort of passion there you like?
> 
> As for being with a partner, I think you'll be surprised how little we care about how much you're there mentally. Maybe that's just me though, I don't know. I guess don't assume that! I know that's not a sexy thing to say in a traditional romantic sense, but I don't see the issue with two people enjoying themselves in their own little worlds so to speak. Well, anyway, that's a different topic. Back to touching!


It's not really shyness...I'm actually a bit worried that I might be crossing the line with some of these posts! I think I might get an infraction if I talk too much about specific techniques.

Nobody is off-limits. Since the composers and their wives are all dead, I don't feel guilty! Actually, even if they were alive, I wouldn't feel guilty! :lol:

Some of my favorite composers do not turn me on at all. I love Schubert's music, but I've never done it to his music. It's not because he's contagious. , His music just doesn't give me an erotic charge. It's too wistful and melancholy.

Debussy is another example of a favorite composer who doesn't turn me on. Even though his music is sensual, it lacks the forward drive that I need. His only place in my bedroom is when I'm relaxing in between "episodes." (Trying to be euphemistic here so that I don't get banned!) 

Strangely enough, the reverse never happens - I never get turned on by a non-favorite composer. Bruckner, Mahler, Sibelius and Shostakovich have no chance of ever getting into my panties!


----------



## Bettina

^Oh, by the way, I deleted some emoticons from your post. TC only allows a maximum of five images per post. I had to get rid of some of your images in order to make room for mine! So if you noticed any missing smiley faces in the quote from your post, now you know the reason why. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It's not really shyness...I'm actually a bit worried that I might be crossing the line with some of these posts! I think I might get an infraction if I talk too much about specific techniques.
> 
> Nobody is off-limits. Since the composers and their wives are all dead, I don't feel guilty! Actually, even if they were alive, I wouldn't feel guilty!
> 
> Some of my favorite composers do not turn me on at all. I love Schubert's music, but I've never done it to his music. It's not because he's contagious. , His music just doesn't give me an erotic charge. It's too wistful and melancholy.
> 
> Debussy is another example of a favorite composer who doesn't turn me on. Even though his music is sensual, it lacks the forward drive that I need. His only place in my bedroom is when I'm relaxing in between "episodes." (Trying to be euphemistic here so that I don't get banned!)
> 
> Strangely enough, the reverse never happens - I never get turned on by a non-favorite composer. Bruckner, Mahler, Sibelius and Shostakovich have no chance of ever getting into my panties!


Sometimes you just have those moments. I was on the Randall's/Safeway site adding digital coupons to my card when I came across separate coupons almost right next to one another for cucumbers and zucchini! :lol: They know what I've been talking about!

Wow, a homewrecker! Very naughty! :devil: I guess so few musicians have happy marriages that it's not really a problem. Well, I guess that means Bach is back on the possible list! Does having sex with a wigged composer ever seem weird? :lol:

Do you have any non-musicians who cause any magic in your fingers?

We're talking classical! I don't see what the problem is. Well, we might be the only ones, but I'm enjoying the conversation!  It could be worse, you could be the one asking me about my orgasms!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> ^Oh, by the way, I deleted some emoticons from your post. TC only allows a maximum of five images per post. I had to get rid of some of your images in order to make room for mine! So if you noticed any missing smiley faces in the quote from your post, now you know the reason why. :lol:


Oh, don't worry about that. Sometimes I have to do the same when I reply. I know I go overboard with the emoticons sometimes! :tiphat: We really need an emoticon for an orgasm though, don't you think? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Sometimes you just have those moments. I was on the Randall's/Safeway site adding digital coupons to my card when I came across separate coupons almost right next to one another for cucumbers and zucchini! They know what I've been talking about!
> 
> Wow, a homewrecker! Very naughty! I guess so few musicians have happy marriages that it's not really a problem. Well, I guess that means Bach is back on the possible list! Does having sex with a wigged composer ever seem weird?
> Do you have any non-musicians who cause any magic in your fingers?
> 
> We're talking classical! I don't see what the problem is. Well, we might be the only ones, but I'm enjoying the conversation!  It could be worse, you could be the one asking me about my orgasms!


Yes, Bach is definitely on the list, and his wig is actually a turn-on. The whole "period costume" thing is pretty sexy!

There are MANY non-musicians who turn me on too. I haven't been talking about them because this is a classical music website, and I'm trying to make my posts at least tangentially relevant to the theme of classical music. :lol: But since you asked...way back in those wild adolescent years, I had a huge crush on Dan Rather. I used to touch myself to the nightly news, which I would watch in my room every evening! :lol: There was even a time when I had a crush on Bill Clinton too, and I would touch myself to his press conferences and interviews! :lol:

Currently, my non-musician crushes include the philosopher Jacques Derrida (he died in 2004 - my crush actually started back when he was still alive and it's continued ever since). Here's the wiki article on him: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacques_Derrida

Also, the philosopher Martin Hägglund, who is actually still alive (a rare phenomenon for me)! Here's his university website: http://complit.yale.edu/people/martin-hagglund

As you can see, I totally have a thing for philosophers. It's almost as bad as my thing for musicians! Of course, it's basically impossible to read philosophy while touching myself (that would be quite an intellectual feat!!). But I often read their works outside the bedroom, and then I sometimes think about the brilliance of their works while I'm doing the act itself.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, Bach is definitely on the list, and his wig is actually a turn-on. The whole "period costume" thing is pretty sexy!
> 
> There are MANY non-musicians who turn me on too. I haven't been talking about them because this is a classical music website, and I'm trying to make my posts at least tangentially relevant to the theme of classical music. :lol: But since you asked...way back in those wild adolescent years, I had a huge crush on Dan Rather. I used to touch myself to the nightly news, which I would watch in my room every evening! There was even a time when I had a crush on Bill Clinton too, and I would touch myself to his press conferences and interviews!
> 
> Currently, my non-musician crushes include the philosopher Jacques Derrida (he died in 2004 - my crush actually started back when he was still alive and it's continued ever since). Here's the wiki article on him: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacques_Derrida
> 
> Also, the philosopher Martin Hägglund, who is actually still alive (a rare phenomenon for me)! Here's his university website: http://complit.yale.edu/people/martin-hagglund
> 
> As you can see, I totally have a thing for philosophers. It's almost as bad as my thing for musicians! Of course, it's basically impossible to read philosophy while touching myself (that would be quite an intellectual feat!!). But I often read their works outside the bedroom, and then I sometimes think about the brilliance of their works while I'm doing the act itself.


Dan Rather?!  Well, he's a local boy from the Houston area. I used to work on behalf of his alma mater some years ago. Really? I'd tell you that I have a Texas accent like him, but I don't think I do! Well, it could be worse I guess. I remember someone (albeit a much older woman) saying they had a crush on Ted Koppel! Your parents must regret letting you watch the news!

Bill Clinton isn't a surprise. He is a (bad) musician. Touching to press conferences is a bit odd. Were you turned on by his "I did not have sexual relations with that woman!" Speech about Monica Lewinsky? :lol:

Do you like Hägglund because of his umlauts?  He's basically our age. I won't say you're mediocre at all, but that certainly makes me feel mediocre! I don't know much about him. Derrida is more famous. I have a lot of respect for Socrates (sometimes I felt like my people were going to kill me back when I was younger and had a bit of an edge to myself) and Diogenes (the patron saint of self-touching)! There are some economists who could double as philosophers whom I respect tremendously, but I only have an elementary understanding of economics. There are some politicians I find interesting (respect might not be the best word here). I was very interested in Political Science in college.

I suppose you could have one hand in the pink and the other holding the book. Well, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do! :devil:


----------



## Phil loves classical

Holy, you two horny birds still at it? You could petition for a new subforum on TC for cybersex with composers/musicians.


----------



## Klassik

Phil loves classical said:


> Holy, you two horny birds still at it? You could petition for a new subforum on TC for cybersex with composers/musicians.


We're actually discussing cybersex with elderly news anchors right now. By we I mean Bettina wants sex with them. I'm just along for this mysterious ride! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Dan Rather?!  Well, he's a local boy from the Houston area. I used to work on behalf of his alma mater some years ago. Really? I'd tell you that I have a Texas accent like him, but I don't think I do! Well, it could be worse I guess. I remember someone (albeit a much older woman) saying they had a crush on Ted Koppel! Your parents must regret letting you watch the news!
> 
> Bill Clinton isn't a surprise. He is a (bad) musician. Touching to press conferences is a bit odd. Were you turned on by his "I did not have sexual relations with that woman!" Speech about Monica Lewinsky? :lol:
> 
> Do you like Hägglund because of his umlauts?  He's basically our age. I won't say you're mediocre at all, but that certainly makes me feel mediocre! I don't know much about him. Derrida is more famous. I have a lot of respect for Socrates (sometimes I felt like my people were going to kill me back when I was younger and had a bit of an edge to myself) and Diogenes (the patron saint of self-touching)! There are some economists who could double as philosophers whom I respect tremendously, but I only have an elementary understanding of economics. There are some politicians I find interesting (respect might not be the best word here). I was very interested in Political Science in college.
> 
> I suppose you could have one hand in the pink and the other holding the book. Well, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do!


Hägglund's umlaut does contribute to his sex appeal, but I'm mainly attracted to his brilliant mind. I do consider myself mediocre compared to him, and that's exactly what makes him so incredibly sexy. I love men who are vastly superior to me in some domain that I admire. Worshipping a man gives me an erotic thrill!

I don't think I could concentrate on reading philosophy while touching myself. Also, I wouldn't want one of my hands to be occupied with a philosophy book, because I usually like to get both hands involved in the action.  However, sometimes I do watch lectures by Hägglund and Derrida on youtube when I'm doing the act. Of course it's hard to focus on the subtle points in their arguments when I'm having an orgasm!! :lol: I generally prefer to study their works carefully in a non-sexual context, and then I have a whole "mental bank" of snippets to remember when I'm engaged in the act itself.


----------



## Bettina

Phil loves classical said:


> Holy, you two horny birds still at it? You could petition for a new subforum on TC for cybersex with composers/musicians.


We've expanded our horizons beyond sex with musicians. Now I'm talking about sex with newscasters and philosophers.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Hägglund's umlaut does contribute to his sex appeal, but I'm mainly attracted to his brilliant mind. I do consider myself mediocre compared to him, and that's exactly what makes him so incredibly sexy. I love men who are vastly superior to me in some domain that I admire. Worshipping a man gives me an erotic thrill!
> 
> I don't think I could concentrate on reading philosophy while touching myself. Also, I wouldn't want one of my hands to be occupied with a philosophy book, because I usually like to get both hands involved in the action. However, sometimes I do watch lectures by Hägglund and Derrida on youtube when I'm doing the act. Of course it's hard to focus on the subtle points in their arguments when I'm having an orgasm!!I generally prefer to study their works carefully in a non-sexual context, and then I have a whole "mental bank" of snippets to remember when I'm engaged in the act itself.





Bettina said:


> We've expanded our horizons beyond sex with musicians. Now I'm talking about sex with newscasters and philosophers.


I could lie to you and say that I had a crush on Connie Chung back in the day, but...sorry, I won't even do that! :lol:

Well, I really feel mediocre now! I used to read and talk about a lot of intellectual matters back in college, but I have not had any friends who have been interested in that stuff for many years now. Some friends are actually, but they're too busy with married/working life to care about these things now. I work with a lot of smart people, but we never talk about these things. It's a great shame. A lot of the stuff I read and great thoughts I had are still in my brain somewhere, but they have not been used in such a long time that I can't really recall them easily.  You live in a college town so maybe you still have people in your life who are interested in these things.

I'll read Hägglund's stuff and we'll see what I think. If nothing else, I'll appreciate his umlaut! 

A two-hander, huh? Yeah, I'm not sure if philosophy and orgasms really go together. :lol: Somethings are best enjoyed separately!

Well, I better run off to bed. It's getting late. I enjoyed the "touching" conversation we had tonight! I learned a lot! I also learned some interesting things like the Dan Rather revelation! Anyway, I'm sure you have plans for tonight anyway! If so, I wish you many wonderful orgasms! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I could lie to you and say that I had a crush on Connie Chung back in the day, but...sorry, I won't even do that!
> 
> Well, I really feel mediocre now! I used to read and talk about a lot of intellectual matters back in college, but I have not had any friends who have been interested in that stuff for many years now. Some friends are actually, but they're too busy with married/working life to care about these things now. I work with a lot of smart people, but we never talk about these things. It's a great shame. A lot of the stuff I read and great thoughts I had are still in my brain somewhere, but they have not been used in such a long time that I can't really recall them easily.  You live in a college town so maybe you still have people in your life who are interested in these things.
> 
> I'll read Hägglund's stuff and we'll see what I think. If nothing else, I'll appreciate his umlaut!
> 
> A two-hander, huh? Yeah, I'm not sure if philosophy and orgasms really go together. Somethings are best enjoyed separately!
> 
> Well, I better run off to bed. It's getting late. I enjoyed the "touching" conversation we had tonight! I learned a lot! I also learned some interesting things like the Dan Rather revelation! Anyway, I'm sure you have plans for tonight anyway! If so, I wish you many wonderful orgasms! :devil:


Please don't feel mediocre! Hägglund is one of those unique genius types - one of the greatest living philosophers, in my opinion. So basically everyone is inferior compared to him. He's like the Beethoven of philosophy/literary studies. You and I are both quite intelligent (haha, I'm not even trying to be humble), so there's no reason for either of us to feel bad about our cognitive endowments!

I am fortunate to live in a university town where I attend many conferences and lectures, so I do have a lot of opportunities to talk to professors about philosophy and musicology. Of course, I don't tell any of them about my secret sexual life! :lol:

I'm not sure about tonight's plans yet. It's much earlier here in California, so it's not quite time for me to start forming a definite agenda at this point. But all this talk about Hägglund has gotten me thinking about him, and maybe he'll be tonight's fantasy lover. I highly recommend his book "Dying for Time," by the way. I know that the title doesn't sound sexy, but it appeals to me...partly because so many of my "lovers" are dead!!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Please don't feel mediocre! Hägglund is one of those unique genius types - one of the greatest living philosophers, in my opinion. So basically everyone is inferior compared to him. He's like the Beethoven of philosophy/literary studies. You and I are both quite intelligent (haha, I'm not even trying to be humble), so there's no reason for either of us to feel bad about our cognitive endowments!
> 
> I am fortunate to live in a university town where I attend many conferences and lectures, so I do have a lot of opportunities to talk to professors about philosophy and musicology. Of course, I don't tell any of them about my secret sexual life!
> 
> I'm not sure about tonight's plans yet. It's much earlier here in California, so it's not quite time for me to start forming a definite agenda at this point. But all this talk about Hägglund has gotten me thinking about him, and maybe he'll be tonight's fantasy lover. I highly recommend his book "Dying for Time," by the way. I know that the title doesn't sound sexy, but it appeals to me...partly because so many of my "lovers" are dead!!


One quick note before I head off to bed. We'll pick up the rest tomorrow. It is a bit ironic that we're talking about philosophy in Stupid Thread Ideas, yes? :lol:

Enjoy your time with Hägglund and his umlaut if he is the one who comes to your bedroom tonight! :devil: I know a gentleman never tells, but you're a lady. Hopefully you can give me the juicy details tomorrow! Also, I hope you use YouTube so you can use both hands! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> One quick note before I head off to bed. We'll pick up the rest tomorrow. It is a bit ironic that we're talking about philosophy in Stupid Thread Ideas, yes? :lol:
> 
> Enjoy your time with Hägglund and his umlaut if he is the one who comes to your bedroom tonight! :devil: I know a gentleman never tells, but you're a lady. Hopefully you can give me the juicy details tomorrow! Also, I hope you use YouTube so you can use both hands! :lol:


Thank you for the warm wishes, and good night! I'm not sure what I'll do tonight. Unfortunately, most of Hägglund's lectures on YouTube are panel discussions where the other participants are totally unsexy. But I'll just try my best to tune them out!

I suspect that I might be willing to divulge some of the juicy details tomorrow. I do have to continue living up to my reputation as TC's Queen of TMI. :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Romeo and Juliet has now been offically rename Klassik and Bettina does TC


----------



## Jacred

Bettina said:


> We've expanded our horizons beyond sex with musicians. Now I'm talking about sex with newscasters and philosophers.


Wow, your sexual fantasies must be a bottomless well or something! Hold on, I'll grab a bag of popcorn before the next revelation.


----------



## Vaneyes

Green, red, blue, purple, black, yellow, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...4b02e9bdb0ad1e4?fos&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009


----------



## JeffD

Bettina said:


> Currently, my non-musician crushes include the philosopher Jacques Derrida (he died in 2004 - my crush actually started back when he was still alive and it's continued ever since). Here's the wiki article on him: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacques_Derrida .


I would be more enamored with Derrida if I knew what he was getting at. At what he was getting. I often get the feeling when reading Derrida that getting at something specific is quite beyond his point. Very uncool to mean something specifically. Perhaps that is the appeal? A disorganized general glow versus a focused hot spot?


----------



## JeffD

I had a dream once about Hilary Hahn.

Oh wait, I think it might have been Jessica Hahn. Sorry.


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> We've expanded our horizons beyond sex with musicians. Now I'm talking about sex with *newscasters and philosophers*.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I was dreaming about Kenny Everett, well Captain Kremmen, well Carla really- what does that say????


----------



## Bettina

Jacred said:


> *Wow, your sexual fantasies must be a bottomless well or something!* Hold on, I'll grab a bag of popcorn before the next revelation.


SO TRUE. This thread might end up becoming a multi-volume series, like Current Listening. Bettina's Current Fantasies, Vols. 1, 2, 3 and 4. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> SO TRUE. This thread might end up becoming a multi-volume series, like Current Listening. Bettina's Current Fantasies, Vols. 1, 2, 3 and 4. :lol:


I think I'll try to compile a liszt of Bettina's fantasies, but it might take some time to compile it! We have everyone from Beethoven to Dan Rather! :devil:


----------



## JeffD

Actually isn't it all the same fantasy? The fantasy that one can partake of greatness by sleeping with it.


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> Actually isn't it all the same fantasy? The fantasy that one can partake of greatness by sleeping with it.


Well put! That's an excellent synopsis of the underlying idea behind my fantasies. But the manifestations of this idea, played out through figures as diverse as Neil Diamond and Jacques Derrida, are endless...


----------



## Klassik

JeffD said:


> Actually isn't it all the same fantasy? The fantasy that one can partake of greatness by sleeping with it.


...Dan Rather? I mean, he was a pretty good news anchor, but...? Clearly it must have been lust! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> ...Dan Rather? I mean, he was a pretty good news anchor, but...? Clearly it must have been lust! :lol:


Yeah, I agree that he wasn't exactly great. Maybe we can amend JeffD's point slightly to say "the fantasy that one can partake of greatness *or fame* by sleeping with it." That way, we'll be able to account for the inclusion of Dan Rather, Neil Diamond and Vince Gill!! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> *Schubert's music actually doesn't turn me on,* although I love listening to it in a non-sexual context. Most of his pieces are so sweet and dreamy - they don't have the bombast that I need for a good energetic session!


Ain't that the truth. Completely turns me off. Just not Godunov, IMO....although I realize he had his staunch supporters....mostly employees of Cohen's Fashion Optical.


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> Ain't that the truth. Completely turns me off. Just not Godunov, IMO....although I realize he had his staunch supporters....mostly employees of Cohen's Fashion Optical.


Very stylish...


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> I would be more enamored with Derrida if I knew what he was getting at. At what he was getting. I often get the feeling when reading Derrida that getting at something specific is quite beyond his point. Very uncool to mean something specifically. Perhaps that is the appeal? A disorganized general glow versus a focused hot spot?


Yes, I agree that he often circles around an idea instead of presenting a clear-cut thesis. His writing strikes me as a kind of philosophical impressionism, a continuation of the impressionist/symbolist tradition in France. He wasn't necessarily aiming for philosophical rigor (and he certainly didn't deliver it!:lol However, in my opinion, his style is an effective way of conveying his main theme: the ambiguity of language.

Much of Derrida's work involves close examinations of philosophical texts (Plato, Rousseau, Nietzsche). He shows that these canonical texts of philosophy are fractured by contradictions and inconsistencies. Actually, he's rather systematic in the way that he goes through these texts, examining how one passage often undercuts/contradicts other passages. One of his main points is that most dichotomies are unstable. As he demonstrates, Plato tried to set up an opposition between writing and speech, but at every turn Plato kept on contradicting himself and the opposition is constantly breaking down. This kind of thing hugely turns me on...I love how Derrida cleverly pinpointed the inconsistencies in so many famous texts!


----------



## Klassik

STI: What's more important, a spiritual/intellectual sense or an erotic/libidinal sense? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> STI: What's more important, a spiritual/intellectual sense or an erotic/libidinal sense? :devil:


At this point in my life, the two senses seem to have merged completely. My spiritual/intellectual idols (Derrida, Beethoven, Hägglund) are also my objects of erotic desire. But when I was a teenager, the two senses were more separate, and I probably valued the erotic one more at that stage in my life!


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> STI: What's more important, a spiritual/intellectual sense or an erotic/libidinal sense? :devil:


Spiritual/intellectual. Since it's a fantasy, the other will naturally follow...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, I agree that he often circles around an idea instead of presenting a clear-cut thesis. His writing strikes me as a kind of philosophical impressionism, a continuation of the impressionist/symbolist tradition in France. He wasn't necessarily aiming for philosophical rigor (and he certainly didn't deliver it!:lol However, in my opinion, his style is an effective way of conveying his main theme: the ambiguity of language.
> 
> Much of Derrida's work involves close examinations of philosophical texts (Plato, Rousseau, Nietzsche). He shows that these canonical texts of philosophy are fractured by contradictions and inconsistencies. Actually, he's rather systematic in the way that he goes through these texts, examining how one passage often undercuts/contradicts other passages. One of his main points is that most dichotomies are unstable. As he demonstrates, Plato tried to set up an opposition between writing and speech, but at every turn Plato kept on contradicting himself and the opposition is constantly breaking down. This kind of thing hugely turns me on...I love how Derrida cleverly pinpointed the inconsistencies in so many famous texts!


You should love the logic games I play with the "vinyl is better" crowd then! :lol:



Bettina said:


> At this point in my life, the two senses seem to have merged completely. My spiritual/intellectual idols (*Derrida, Beethoven, Hägglund*) are also my objects of erotic desire. But when I was a teenager, the two sense were more separate, and I probably valued the erotic one more at that stage in my life!


One of these is not like the others. Can you guess which one? 

I've been meaning to read about Hägglund. How was your date with him last night? :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Spiritual/intellectual. Since it's a fantasy, the other will naturally follow...


I don't know, I think the hot women usually say no to me even in my fantasies!  That's okay though, I have my Sears catalog! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You should love the logic games I play with the "vinyl is better" crowd then! :lol:
> 
> One of these is not like the others. Can you guess which one?
> 
> I've been meaning to read about Hägglund. How was your date with him last night? :devil:


I haven't been following the vinyl thread - I'll have to take a look at it. I actually do love it when arguments go in circles and basically end up debunking the whole concept of logic...as weird as this sounds, that turns me on!

Do you mean Beethoven? I see what you mean, but I think that his music actually is quite philosophical. He expressed his philosophy of life in the form of notes rather than words (although sometimes he also used words, usually someone else's words such as Schiller's, to reinforce his points).

Or is Hägglund the odd one out, because he has an umlaut and the other ones don't? Or is it because he's still alive...? Anyway, I had a great "date" last night. I found an amazing video of Hägglund giving a talk on - guess who? - Derrida! The best of both worlds. All it needs is a Beethoven soundtrack and it would be utterly perfect! Here's the video:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I haven't been following the vinyl thread - I'll have to take a look at it. I actually do love it when arguments go in circles and basically end up debunking the whole concept of logic...as weird as this sounds, that turns me on!


Circular logic on a vinyl thread is a given! And not just because the disks spin around in a circle!  I don't think you'd enjoy those threads, but who knows.



> Do you mean Beethoven? I see what you mean, but I think that his music actually is quite philosophical. He expressed his philosophy of life in the form of notes rather than words (although sometimes he also used words, usually someone else's words such as Schiller's, to reinforce his points).


I'm not saying that Beethoven is an idiot because certainly that's not true. Having said that, I don't think anyone would consider Beethoven to be a highlight of western philosophy! :lol: Besides, how could you have an intellectual discussion with him? He'd be too busy throwing stuff across the room, biting people, and so forth! 



> Or is Hägglund the odd one out, because he has an umlaut and the other ones don't? Or is it because he's still alive...? Anyway, I had a great "date" last night. I found an amazing video of Hägglund giving a talk on - guess who? - Derrida! The best of both worlds. All it needs is a Beethoven soundtrack and it would be utterly perfect! Here's the video:


Good point about the umlaut! I'll check out the video when I get home. I'm having a bad day at work today! I had to crawl around the floor unexpectedly! I hope I didn't dirty my khakis! Yes, I actually have pants on!

Any "juicy" details about the evening? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Circular logic on a vinyl thread is a given! And not just because the disks spin around in a circle!  I don't think you'd enjoy those threads, but who knows.
> 
> I'm not saying that Beethoven is an idiot because certainly that's not true. Having said that, I don't think anyone would consider Beethoven to be a highlight of western philosophy! :lol: Besides, how could you have an intellectual discussion with him? He'd be too busy throwing stuff across the room, biting people, and so forth!
> 
> Good point about the umlaut! I'll check out the video when I get home. I'm having a bad day at work today! I had to crawl around the floor unexpectedly! I hope I didn't dirty my khakis! Yes, I actually have pants on!
> 
> Any "juicy" details about the evening?


LOL, you're probably right about Beethoven's inability to carry on a philosophical conversation. He expressed his metaphysical ideas in notes, not words. If I got together with Beethoven (I just need to find my time machine first!), I would focus on discussing his music with him. I would love to hear him talk about what he had in mind when composing various sections, and how he decided on the overall structure of each piece, things like that. Then, when he and I got tired of talking about music, we would have wild sex! :devil:

So I WAS right about the umlaut! It's quite a shame that Beethoven and Derrida don't have umlauts. Oh well, a few of their works have umlauts/other diacritical marks in them, so I'll have to content myself with that.

I'm sorry about your bad day at work. Crawling on the floor sounds pretty stressful and awkward! Luckily I've never had to do that when teaching piano, although occasionally a student has tried to escape (usually the preschool-age kids do this) and I have to run and catch them!

Regarding last night's escapades, it was pretty much my typical format...nothing new to report there. And the mods probably wouldn't want me to describe my techniques in graphic detail. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> LOL, you're probably right about Beethoven's inability to carry on a philosophical conversation. He expressed his metaphysical ideas in notes, not words. If I got together with Beethoven (I just need to find my time machine first!), I would focus on discussing his music with him. I would love to hear him talk about what he had in mind when composing various sections, and how he decided on the overall structure of each piece, things like that. Then, when he and I got tired of talking about music, we would have wild sex!
> 
> So I WAS right about the umlaut! It's quite a shame that Beethoven and Derrida don't have umlauts. Oh well, a few of their works have umlauts/other diacritical marks in them, so I'll have to content myself with that.
> 
> I'm sorry about your bad day at work. Crawling on the floor sounds pretty stressful and awkward! Luckily I've never had to do that when teaching piano, although occasionally a student has tried to escape (usually the preschool-age kids do this) and I have to run and catch them!
> 
> Regarding last night's escapades, it was pretty much my typical format...nothing new to report there. And the mods probably wouldn't want me to describe my techniques in graphic detail.


To be fair, some of the great philosophers were probably even worse in the hygiene category than Beethoven! As much as I respect my man Diogenes, I'd hate to be around him! That's not just because he'd tear me apart intellectually!  What do you think about having fantasies about Diogenes in his tube?

Even before I got to know you, I used to wonder if I'd get more beautiful women if I used the diacritical mark in my last name. :lol: The umlauts are pretty sexy. There's something exotic about them. I don't know, I can't explain it any better than that!

Well, at least I don't have to chase after children! I won't go into details about why I was on the floor, but let's just say that people around here have trouble following directions! I end up having to fix things that aren't even related to my job duties. Oh well, I think my pants are okay. I'll be taking them off when I get home anyway! :devil:

Darn those moderators! Why can't we have any real fun around here?! Stupid rules and decorum!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> To be fair, some of the great philosophers were probably even worse in the hygiene category than Beethoven! As much as I respect my man Diogenes, I'd hate to be around him! That's not just because he'd tear me apart intellectually! What do you think about having fantasies about Diogenes in his tube?
> 
> Even before I got to know you, I used to wonder if I'd get more beautiful women if I used the diacritical mark in my last name. The umlauts are pretty sexy. There's something exotic about them. I don't know, I can't explain it any better than that!
> 
> Well, at least I don't have to chase after children! I won't go into details about why I was on the floor, but let's just say that people around here have trouble following directions! I end up having to fix things that aren't even related to my job duties. Oh well, I think my pants are okay. I'll be taking them off when I get home anyway!
> 
> Darn those moderators! Why can't we have any real fun around here?! Stupid rules and decorum!


I've actually never read anything by Diogenes. The only thing I know about him is that he did...stuff...in public (I'm being careful here because of the TC rules). I'm not sure if I find that hot or not. I guess there's something hot about his uncontrollable desire - but at the same time, it seems a bit creepy. I've occasionally seen sleazy old perverts doing that sort of thing in semi-deserted places (train stations at night, dark alleys) and there's nothing sexy about that! 

I'm glad that you agree with me about the sex appeal of diacritical marks. Sometimes, when I do it with Dvořák, I tell him that I love his diacritical marks (as well as his music of course). I don't know the technical term for the mark on his R, so I say, "Tony, that V-shaped thing on your name is so hot!" :lol: :lol:

Glad to hear that your pants are OK. Since they won't be on for much longer, I guess it's not a big deal anyway!


----------



## Bettina

^Once again, I had to delete a TON of your emoticons to make room for mine - sorry about that! The limit on emoticons is one of the many unfair TC policies...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've actually never read anything by Diogenes. The only thing I know about him is that he did...stuff...in public (I'm being careful here because of the TC rules). I'm not sure if I find that hot or not. I guess there's something hot about his uncontrollable desire - but at the same time, it seems a bit creepy. I've occasionally seen sleazy old perverts doing that sort of thing in semi-deserted places (train stations at night, dark alleys) and there's nothing sexy about that!
> 
> I'm glad that you agree with me about the sex appeal of diacritical marks. Sometimes, when I do it with Dvořák, I tell him that I love his diacritical marks (as well as his music of course). I don't know the technical term for the mark on his R, so I say, "Tony, that V-shaped thing on your name is so hot!" :lol:
> 
> Glad to hear that your pants are OK. Since they won't be on for much longer, I guess it's not a big deal anyway!





> Diogenes is said to have eaten in the marketplace,urinated on some people who insulted him, defecated in the theatre, and masturbated in public. When asked about his eating in public he said, "If taking breakfast is nothing out of place, then it is nothing out of place in the marketplace. But taking breakfast is nothing out of place, therefore it is nothing out of place to take breakfast in the marketplace." On the indecency of him ************ in public he would say, "If only it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly."


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diogenes

It's hard to argue against that, but I'd still rather not see it in public! I'm with you on that. Now hot women like yourself...:devil:

Diogenes had little use for material possessions. He lived in a tube/barrel. :lol: That's an interesting lifestyle! I'm not even sure if Beethoven could cope with those living quarters!

I wonder what people who have diacritical marks in their names think about them. On the one hand, it probably helps them get partners in foreign lands. OTOH, it makes it more difficult to write/type their names. Hmm. I don't know. I think my life is easier without the diacritic, but I do wonder what it would be like if I used it. I suppose I could unofficially use it and see what the reaction is like. That would be interesting!

I have conflicted feelings about these slacks. They really bunch up in the front part of the crotch near the zipper. It makes it look like I have an amazing erection at all times. Ok, I usually do, but this makes it look even bigger than what it normally is!  Well, either that or it makes it look like I have a codpiece or a protective cup on under my pants! Are women attracted to things like this? I've never known the answer to that.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> ^Once again, I had to delete a TON of your emoticons to make room for mine - sorry about that! The limit on emoticons is one of the many unfair TC policies...


I know! How can I possibly write a lengthy reply without using >5 emoticons?

That's okay though. I know I get a bit overboard with the emoticons. I actually studied computer-mediated communication pretty seriously when I was a psychology student as an undergrad. My plan was to study that as my research area if I ever went to grad school for social psychology, but I took a bit of a different direction instead. Anyway, the emoticons do help establish some non-verbal communication online.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Very stylish...
> 
> View attachment 95798


Schubert was a pioneer in two things:

1. Plodding, tedious rhythms

2. Stylish, designer wire-rimmed eyewear for "men"


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diogenes
> 
> It's hard to argue against that, but I'd still rather not see it in public! I'm with you on that. Now hot women like yourself...
> 
> Diogenes had little use for material possessions. He lived in a tube/barrel. That's an interesting lifestyle! I'm not even sure if Beethoven could cope with those living quarters!
> 
> I wonder what people who have diacritical marks in their names think about them. On the one hand, it probably helps them get partners in foreign lands. OTOH, it makes it more difficult to write/type their names. Hmm. I don't know. I think my life is easier without the diacritic, but I do wonder what it would be like if I used it. I suppose I could unofficially use it and see what the reaction is like. That would be interesting!
> 
> I have conflicted feelings about these slacks. They really bunch up in the front part of the crotch near the zipper. It makes it look like I have an amazing erection at all times. Ok, I usually do, but this makes it look even bigger than what it normally is!  Well, either that or it makes it look like I have a codpiece or a protective cup on under my pants! Are women attracted to things like this? I've never known the answer to that.


I'm sure that many men would love to see a woman doing that in public! I've never actually touched myself in public, but sometimes I do press my legs together in a stimulating way, when I'm attending a lecture or a concert or whatever. I think (well, I hope!) that it's usually quite subtle and unnoticeable.

However, one time, in a Spanish class, it became obvious what I was doing. Here's what happened: I was fantasizing about the professor while taking a test in class. I got carried away - I started rubbing my legs together and it must have been obvious what I was doing. The professor actually came up to me, and he quietly (and suggestively) said "wait until you get home." WOW!!  :lol: That was embarrassing but also insanely sexy. The professor was definitely flirting with me...but he wasn't willing to do anything, because I was underage (16) at the time. I definitely "went to town" on myself when I got home!! :devil:

Your crotch bulge does sound sexy, but to be honest I'm usually not turned on by things like that. I'm obsessed with the work that a man produces - whether it's philosophical texts, musical pieces, albums, that kind of thing. But that's probably just my own personal quirk and I'm definitely not representative of all women!


----------



## Phil loves classical

Bettina, is your real name Gigi? This sounds awfully similar to your writing

http://elitedaily.com/life/attracted-to-intelligence/1036285/


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I know! How can I possibly write a lengthy reply without using >5 emoticons?
> 
> That's okay though. I know I get a bit overboard with the emoticons. I actually studied computer-mediated communication pretty seriously when I was a psychology student as an undergrad. My plan was to study that as my research area if I ever went to grad school for social psychology, but I took a bit of a different direction instead. Anyway, the emoticons do help establish some non-verbal communication online.


I love the emoticons too! That's why I have to delete yours, so that I can fit in all the emoticons that I like to use. I wish that Derrida and Hägglund could have used emoticons in their philosophical writings. It would make their stuff even more awesome! :tiphat:


----------



## Bettina

Phil loves classical said:


> Bettina, is your real name Gigi? This sounds awfully similar to your writing
> 
> http://elitedaily.com/life/attracted-to-intelligence/1036285/


I didn't write that, but I agree that it does sound similar! However, not all of my "lovers" are known for their intelligence: Neil Diamond and Vince Gill aren't exactly geniuses. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm sure that many men would love to see a woman doing that in public! I've never actually touched myself in public, but sometimes I do press my legs together in a stimulating way, when I'm attending a lecture or a concert or whatever. I think (well, I hope!) that it's usually quite subtle and unnoticeable.
> 
> However, one time, in a Spanish class, it became obvious what I was doing. Here's what happened: I was fantasizing about the professor while taking a test in class. I got carried away - I started rubbing my legs together and it must have been obvious what I was doing. The professor actually came up to me, and he quietly (and suggestively) said "wait until you get home." WOW!! That was embarrassing but also insanely sexy. The professor was definitely flirting with me...but he wasn't willing to do anything, because I was underage (16) at the time. I definitely "went to town" on myself when I got home!!
> 
> Your crotch bulge does sound sexy, but to be honest I'm usually not turned on by things like that. I'm obsessed with the work that a man produces - whether it's philosophical texts, musical pieces, albums, that kind of thing. But that's probably just my own personal quirk and I'm definitely not representative of all women!


Naughty Bettina! Were the diacritics on the test turning you on too? I probably would have given you an A if you did that in my class! Having said this, it's probably a good thing that I teach online whenever I do teach! Were you in an early college program or is it normal there to call teachers professors?

I've heard about the "leg press" method. How does that feel? Are you ever afraid of having an orgasm in public? Does it come anywhere close to giving you an orgasm?

If you ever decide to do it in public, let me know. I'll be there! 

We had this girl in high school who was caught fingering herself in the women's bathroom. I felt terrible for her! She has her needs just like everyone else. She was a real quiet, anonymous girl. I didn't really know her, but she'd sit near my group at lunch. People would make fun of her after the incident, but I told them to back off whenever I heard the jokes! Before you think that I was being very noble, the main reason why I was doing that was to point out how much the bullies were jacking off themselves! :lol:

Well, it's hard to convince hot women that I'm a genius when I first meet them. I'm not sure if the women around here find that hot anyway. I guess I'll have to settle for the big crotch method then!



Bettina said:


> I love the emoticons too! That's why I have to delete yours, so that I can fit in all the emoticons that I like to use. I wish that Derrida and Hägglund could have used emoticons in their philosophical writings. It would make their stuff even more awesome! :tiphat:


Wouldn't it be funny if books started using emoticons?



Phil loves classical said:


> Bettina, is your real name Gigi? This sounds awfully similar to your writing
> 
> http://elitedaily.com/life/attracted-to-intelligence/1036285/


If that is you, wow, nice bun! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Naughty Bettina! Were the diacritics on the test turning you on too? I probably would have given you an A if you did that in my class! Having said this, it's probably a good thing that I teach online whenever I do teach! Were you in an early college program or is it normal there to call teachers professors?
> 
> I've heard about the "leg press" method. How does that feel? Are you ever afraid of having an orgasm in public? Does it come anywhere close to giving you an orgasm?
> 
> If you ever decide to do it in public, let me know. I'll be there!
> 
> We had this girl in high school who was caught fingering herself in the women's bathroom. I felt terrible for her! She has her needs just like everyone else. She was a real quiet, anonymous girl. I didn't really know her, but she'd sit near my group at lunch. People would make fun of her after the incident, but I told them to back off whenever I heard the jokes! Before you think that I was being very noble, the main reason why I was doing that was to point out how much the bullies were jacking off themselves! :lol:
> 
> Well, it's hard to convince hot women that I'm a genius when I first meet them. I'm not sure if the women around here find that hot anyway. I guess I'll have to settle for the big crotch method then!


You know, I hadn't thought about the possible effect of the diacritical marks, but you're probably right. So many sensual tildes, spread out languidly all over the page...:devil:

As for the program that I was in - I was actually homeschooled during my high school years, and I took some college classes to supplement my at-home education. I enjoyed the freedom of home school - lots of time to practice piano and read philosophy (also, lots of time for, ummm, other things...:lol! Also, it was fun to meet older kids (and professors!) in my college courses.

The leg-pressing technique has never actually brought me to orgasm, but occasionally I've gotten pretty close, like I did that day in Spanish class! It didn't take me long to reach the finish line when I did get home that day. I'm pretty sure that the professor went home and pleasured himself too! :devil:

I agree with you, the crotch-bulge method probably appeals to most women more than the genius thing. My preferences are pretty unusual (although Gigi in the article seems to be similar to me). I'm sure that most women don't touch themselves while reading Derrida!!


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Following this thread is beginning to feel like voyeurism. So I propose the following TC thread:

Which composer's sex life would you least want to hear about?

My vote goes to Hildegard von Bingen.


----------



## Bettina

Pat Fairlea said:


> Following this thread is beginning to feel like voyeurism. So I propose the following TC thread:
> 
> Which composer's sex life would you least want to hear about?
> 
> My vote goes to Hildegard von Bingen.


I don't know, she might have had some pretty hot lesbian affairs with the other nuns!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I agree with you. I love the polarizing posters on TC, such as you and hpowders. Controversy is what makes life interesting (well, that and sex!)


I stand alone. I polarize and pulverize.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You know, I hadn't thought about the possible effect of the diacritical marks, but you're probably right. So many sensual tildes, spread out languidly all over the page...
> 
> As for the program that I was in - I was actually homeschooled during my high school years, and I took some college classes to supplement my at-home education. I enjoyed the freedom of home school - lots of time to practice piano and read philosophy (also, lots of time for, ummm, other things...)! Also, it was fun to meet older kids (and professors!) in my college courses.
> 
> The leg-pressing technique has never actually brought me to orgasm, but occasionally I've gotten pretty close, like I did that day in Spanish class! It didn't take me long to reach the finish line when I did get home that day. I'm pretty sure that the professor went home and pleasured himself too! :devil:
> 
> I agree with you, the crotch-bulge method probably appeals to most women more than the genius thing. My preferences are pretty unusual (although Gigi in the article seems to be similar to me). I'm sure that most women don't touch themselves while reading Derrida!!


Home schooled, huh? This explains a lot! :lol: It would be very ironic if your parents homeschooled for religious reasons, but I get the feeling that wasn't the case. I could be way off. Well, at least you enjoyed it. I went to a high school with ~3,500 students in it (~3,490 of them were meatheads, but I was still friends with many of them). I could say a lot about my high school experience, but the emoticon limit will make it very difficult. The  one would certainly get used a lot!

This is Texas. Many of the girls here detest intelligence and wisdom. Well, I don't think that's just a Texas thing. You'll find that everywhere. It's good that you like that though! I know that I find your knowledge, linguistic skills, and intelligence to be very attractive!

What did you think of your professor when he rolled his Rs? American women seem to love that! Men like it too in women! I don't know what makes it so attractive, but it seems powerful!

Your professor probably did enjoy his evening that night! :devil: Well, hopefully you'll achieve an orgasm with your leg-pressing even if it might lead to potential embarrassment! Hägglund might wonder why there is a woman with an orgasm in the audience if you see him talk! Maybe he'll go for that kind of thing!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I stand alone. I polarize and pulverize.


I'm sorry if I was lumping the two of you together! Both of you are polarizing in your own unique way. You and Millionrainbows stand up for different issues and you have very different writing styles. Thank you for fearlessly challenging the received opinions on TC (opinions about Wagner, Schubert, Schoenberg...the list goes on...)


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Home schooled, huh? This explains a lot! :lol: It would be very ironic if your parents homeschooled for religious reasons, but I get the feeling that wasn't the case. I could be way off. Well, at least you enjoyed it. I went to a high school with ~3,500 students in it (~3,490 of them were meatheads, but I was still friends with many of them). I could say a lot about my high school experience, but the emoticon limit will make it very difficult. The  one would certainly get used a lot!
> 
> This is Texas. Many of the girls here detest intelligence and wisdom. Well, I don't think that's just a Texas thing. You'll find that everywhere. It's good that you like that though! I know that I find your knowledge, linguistic skills, and intelligence to be very attractive!
> 
> What did you think of your professor when he rolled his Rs? American women seem to love that! Men like it too in women! I don't know what makes it so attractive, but it seems powerful!
> 
> Your professor probably did enjoy his evening that night! :devil: Well, hopefully you'll achieve an orgasm with your leg-pressing even if it might lead to potential embarrassment! Hägglund might wonder why there is a woman with an orgasm in the audience if you see him talk! Maybe he'll go for that kind of thing!


Yeah, my homeschool background definitely goes a long way toward explaining my eccentricity. I did go to public school for a few years in elementary and middle school, but I hated it. I wanted to have the freedom to explore my own interests in my own way. My parents agreed with my reasons for wanting to leave school, and I'm grateful that they decided to homeschool me throughout high school.

Religious issues were not involved at all. My parents are not religious in a traditional sense...they worship the great artists and thinkers as their "Gods." Well, now you can see where I got my belief system from!! 

Thank you so much for praising my language skills and intelligence! Since those are the qualities that I value most, I appreciate your kind words about that. I'm sorry that I don't have any more room in my "fantasy harem" to include another man. Your posts are witty and intelligent and I regret that I can't add anyone else to my list (and a real-life relationship isn't what I'm looking for...I'm having too much fun with my independence and my fantasies).

I found it very sexy when my Spanish professor rolled his R's...it made me wonder what else he could do with his tongue. :devil: Unfortunately I was never able to find out! I would have been willing to do stuff with him (back in those days, I was more open to having partners) but he wouldn't do it. I guess he was afraid of going to jail, since I was only 16 at the time.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, my homeschool background definitely goes a long way toward explaining my eccentricity. I did go to public school for a few years in elementary and middle school, but I hated it. I wanted to have the freedom to explore my own interests in my own way. My parents agreed with my reasons for wanting to leave school, and I'm grateful that they decided to homeschool me throughout high school.
> 
> Religious issues were not involved at all. My parents are not religious in a traditional sense...they worship the great artists and thinkers as their "Gods." Well, now you can see where I got my belief system from!!
> 
> Thank you so much for praising my language skills and intelligence! Since those are the qualities that I value most, I appreciate your kind words about that. I'm sorry that I don't have any more room in my "fantasy harem" to include another man. Your posts are witty and intelligent and I regret that I can't add anyone else to my list (and a real-life relationship isn't what I'm looking for...I'm having too much fun with my independence and my fantasies).
> 
> I found it very sexy when my Spanish professor rolled his R's...it made me wonder what else he could do with his tongue. :devil: Unfortunately I was never able to find out! I would have been willing to do stuff with him (back in those days, I was more open to having partners) but he wouldn't do it. I guess he was afraid of going to jail, since I was only 16 at the time.


Elementary school is nothing like public high school, but middle school kind of is I guess. Public high school is an experience for sure. Intellectually, it was a complete waste of time. I was a rebel because of that, but perhaps not in the ways one normally thinks of rebels. I was respectful to my teachers (Klassik is Klassy), but I would refuse to do "busywork" assignments and stuff like that. We had tremendous opportunities to learn things, but instead we were too busy spending a week doing coloring assignments. In high school!  I could go on a long rant, but being in a situation like that taught me a lot about the need to seek out knowledge on my own. Knowledge can't be simply consumed passively, there's a lot of work and thought that has to go into it. I will say that being around all kinds of different people in high school has also helped me become a bit of a "people person" professionally as an adult. Of course, there's many ugly people who went to public high school too so it's not an automatic thing.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll never be in your panties.  This makes me very sad, but ole' Klassik knows how things work unfortunately. I enjoy learning about your little world though! It's a very fascinating and erotic world!

I'm not surprised about your parents! I guess the difference is that they actually like getting together instead of sleeping with dead people! Well, they did at least once. Hence this conversation! 

Wow, you tried to put your professor in jail!  You're that erotic! I can't even imagine what your libido must have been like then given what it is now! How did you ever find time to practice the piano and study other things when your mind was thinking about...well...you know!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm sorry if I was lumping the two of you together! Both of you are polarizing in your own unique way. You and Millionrainbows stand up for different issues and you have very different writing styles. Thank you for fearlessly challenging the received opinions on TC (opinions about Wagner, Schubert, Schoenberg...the list goes on...)


Perhaps we should have a faceoff to determine once and for all, unequivocally, who is the most polarizing poster of them all.

I don't like doubt and I surely do not like being compared to anyone else.

I have worked very hard to be universally loathed and I don't need the company.

It's the equivalent of a branding infringement.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Perhaps we should have a faceoff to determine once and for all, unequivocally, who is the most polarizing poster of them all.
> 
> I don't like doubt and I surely do not like being compared to anyone else.
> 
> I have worked very hard to be universally loathed and I don't need the company.
> 
> It's the equivalent of a branding infringement.


Well, you're not _universally _loathed, because you know how much I like you!  But yes, I would unambiguously give you the title of most polarizing poster. The Wagner threads alone would be sufficient proof of that. Additional proof is found in (ironically enough) the thread "most polarizing composer" and also many threads about Schoenberg. Your brand reigns unchallenged!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Perhaps we should have a faceoff to determine once and for all, unequivocally, who is the most polarizing poster of them all.
> 
> I don't like doubt and I surely do not like being compared to anyone else.
> 
> I have worked very hard to be universally loathed and I don't need the company.
> 
> It's the equivalent of a branding infringement.


Join the club:devil:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Perhaps we should have a faceoff to determine once and for all, unequivocally, who is the most polarizing poster of them all.
> 
> I don't like doubt and I surely do not like being compared to anyone else.
> 
> I have worked very hard to be universally loathed and I don't need the company.
> 
> It's the equivalent of a branding infringement.





Bettina said:


> Well, you're not _universally _loathed, because you know how much I like you!  But yes, I would unambiguously give you the title of most polarizing poster. The Wagner threads alone would be sufficient proof of that. Additional proof is found in (ironically enough) the thread "most polarizing composer" and also many threads about Schoenberg. Your brand reigns unchallenged!


Wait, h posts in the Wagner threads? Who knew? Seriously, I never noticed. Of course, I rarely read the Wagner threads. Sometimes I'll click on one by mistake, but they usually look like long-winded monologues to me. :lol: When it comes to monologues, you know what I prefer! 

How can I loathe someone who has the same shoe size as me? Maybe there would be a brawl if we both went to the D!ck's Sporting Goods (possibly owned by D!ck Wagner) store and found that they only had one pair of our New Balance shoes in our size, but what's the probability of us going to D!ck's together?

Eddie, OTOH, is someone I can loathe. What's this jackal doing driving on the wrong side of the road? And Varese over Bach? RUKidding? Eddie, I loathe you!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Wait, h posts in the Wagner threads? Who knew? Seriously, I never noticed. Of course, I rarely read the Wagner threads. Sometimes I'll click on one by mistake, but they usually look like long-winded monologues to me. :lol: When it comes to monologues, you know what I prefer!
> 
> How can I loathe someone who has the same shoe size as me? Maybe there would be a brawl if we both went to the D!ck's Sporting Goods (possibly owned by D!ck Wagner) store and found that they only had one pair of our New Balance shoes in our size, but what's the probability of us going to D!ck's together?
> 
> Eddie, OTOH, is someone I can loathe. What's this jackal doing driving on the wrong side of the road? And Varese over Bach? RUKidding? Eddie, I loathe you!


I used to loathe Eddie because he put Varese over Beethoven. But now that Eddie has all those glorious diacritical marks in his signature, all is forgiven!


----------



## JeffD

A not irrelevant article about a stupid thread: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/journali...2/Can-classical-music-ever-be-truly-sexy.html









From the article:



> At this point, I can imagine a skeptical voice saying, "OK, show me the sex in Beethoven", who was, after all, a high-minded and prudish composer. But Wagner once described Beethoven as the greatest female sex organ in music, and he knew a thing or two about the subject.


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> A not irrelevant article about a stupid thread: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/journali...2/Can-classical-music-ever-be-truly-sexy.html
> 
> View attachment 95804
> 
> 
> From the article:


That's hilarious - thanks for sharing this! The article claims that the festival seems rather unsexy. But I actually think that it sounds quite erotic...philosophical investigations turn me on!

I had no idea that Wagner compared Beethoven to a female sex organ. I love it! Vindication for my own beliefs!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's hilarious - thanks for sharing this! The article claims that the festival seems rather unsexy. But I actually think that it sounds quite erotic...philosophical investigations turn me on!
> 
> I had no idea that Wagner compared Beethoven to a female sex organ. I love it! Vindication for my own beliefs!


Since when have Wagner's opinions mattered!? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Since when have Wagner's opinions mattered!? :lol:


Only when he praises Beethoven.


----------



## JeffD

I never thought of Beethoven that way. But, after listening to Wagner, I can see that Wagner could have thought so.


Also - guys that live alone, play the piano dripping wet from the bath, count out their coffee beans, well guys like this have to be high minded prudes because people are already talking and assuming.


----------



## JeffD

JeffD said:


> Actually isn't it all the same fantasy? The fantasy that one can partake of greatness by sleeping with it.





Bettina said:


> Well put! That's an excellent synopsis of the underlying idea behind my fantasies. But the manifestations of this idea, played out through figures as diverse as Neil Diamond and Jacques Derrida, are endless...


Then there is the other fantasy, that of believing one is the genius that others should be wanting to sleep with.


----------



## JeffD

Music porn: devotional words about Beethoven from Bernstein...


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> Music porn: devotional words about Beethoven from Bernstein...


Great video! Thanks for posting it. I'm sure that I'll make good use of it.


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> Then there is the other fantasy, that of believing one is the genius that others should be wanting to sleep with.


Yes, absolutely! There's a strong connection (for me, at least) between wanting to sleep with someone and wanting to _be _that person. Fantasizing about Beethoven/Derrida/Hägglund (etc.) is the closest that I'll ever get to being a genius!! :lol: :lol:


----------



## JeffD

Stupid Thread Idea: Tips for staying under the speed limit when listening to Rossini overtures.


----------



## JeffD

Bettina said:


> Yes, absolutely! There's a strong connection (for me, at least) between wanting to sleep with someone and wanting to _be _that person.


Well, actually, you have achieved that, being the person you are sleeping with.

Sheesh. I think you have managed to drag me over to the dark side.


----------



## Vaneyes

Lubejob, whackjob, wackjob, rimjob, hitjob, blowjob, nutjob, handjob, odd job, footjob, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Vaneyes

JeffD said:


> Well, actually, you have achieved that, being the person you are sleeping with.
> 
> Sheesh. I think you have managed to drag me over to *the dark side*.


----------



## Vaneyes

Bettina said:


> That's hilarious - thanks for sharing this! The article claims that the festival seems rather unsexy. But I actually think that it sounds quite erotic...philosophical investigations turn me on!
> 
> I had no idea that Wagner compared Beethoven to a female sex organ. I love it! Vindication for my own beliefs!


----------



## hpowders

The secret to Mozart's genius!!!
Reasonable. Bitcoin.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm sorry if *I was lumping the two of you together*! Both of you are polarizing in your own unique way. You and Millionrainbows stand up for different issues and you have very different writing styles. Thank you for fearlessly challenging the received opinions on TC (opinions about Wagner, Schubert, Schoenberg...the list goes on...)


I prefer to be "lumped" together with Aristotle, Plato, Dickens and if the bedroom is in play, Emily Brontë.

Please empathize with my extreme *diss*-appointment


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> Well, actually, you have achieved that, being the person you are sleeping with.
> 
> Sheesh. I think you have managed to drag me over to the dark side.


Post of the year! I nominate this for the TC hall of fame. :clap:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Wait,* h** posts in the Wagner threads? * Who knew? Seriously, I never noticed. Of course, I rarely read the Wagner threads. Sometimes I'll click on one by mistake, but they usually look like long-winded monologues to me. :lol: When it comes to monologues, you know what I prefer!
> 
> How can I loathe someone who has the same shoe size as me? Maybe there would be a brawl if we both went to the D!ck's Sporting Goods (possibly owned by D!ck Wagner) store and found that they only had one pair of our New Balance shoes in our size, but what's the probability of us going to D!ck's together?
> 
> Eddie, OTOH, is someone I can loathe. What's this jackal doing driving on the wrong side of the road? And Varese over Bach? RUKidding? Eddie, I loathe you!


I have posted there and was told to "come back after you have done your homework."


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, absolutely! There's a strong connection (for me, at least) between wanting to sleep with someone and wanting to _be _that person. Fantasizing about Beethoven/Derrida/Hägglund (etc.) is the closest that I'll ever get to being a genius!! :lol: :lol:





JeffD said:


> Well, actually, you have achieved that, being the person you are sleeping with.
> 
> Sheesh. I think you have managed to drag me over to the dark side.


I achieve this all the time. Klassik being Klassik. Klassik sleeping with Klassik! There's no point looking for greater beauty or wisdom! :angel:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I have posted there and was told to "come back after you have done your homework."


True story: I used to help my classmates cheat in high school. I had a deal with one kid in my class that I would give him the answers to tests in exchange for candy. I'd punch him once on the right hand side for A, twice on the right for B, once on the left for C, and twice on the left for D. We could make a similar arrangement for me to do your homework for you. :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


>


Well he is a monster..........


----------



## hpowders

I prefer Frescobaldi.

Anyone got a problem wid dat? 

New poster. Friends List open.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I prefer Frescobaldi.
> 
> Anyone got a problem wid dat?
> 
> New poster. Friends List open.


STI: i preffer Alex Trebek over Wink Martindale if your not ockay whit it sued me?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I prefer Richard Clapton over Eric - well no actually but is a funny line anyway


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *I prefer Richard Clapton over Eric* - well no actually but is a funny line anyway


There's tears in heaven right now for saying that! Are you on cocaine? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

No just in Deep Water


----------



## hpowders

Because of my love for Brahms, I am observing Hamburg time going forward, and have changed my clocks and watches accordingly, even though I live in the Southeastern US. Wow! 10:23PM already. Bedtime!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Because of my love for Brahms, I am observing Hamburg time going forward, and have changed my clocks and watches accordingly, even though I live in the Southeastern US. Wow! 10:23PM already. Bedtime!


Well, it could be worse. You could be living in Pacific time!  Or whatever planet Eddie lives in! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, it could be worse. You could be living in Pacific time!  Or whatever planet Eddie lives in! :lol:


Pacific Time: I make foreplay with dead composers.

Australian time: A trained koala brings me dinner.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Pacific Time: I make foreplay with dead composers.
> 
> Australian time: A trained koala brings me dinner.


Yeah Planet Oz is the place to be


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yeah Planet Oz is the place to be


It needs a good suspension bridge. Too bad none of the engineers interviewed for the job were very civil.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> It needs a good suspension bridge. Too bad none of the engineers interviewed for the job were very civil.


Were currently working on a bigger tug boat to move futher East away from NK


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> *Pacific Time: I make foreplay with dead composers.*
> 
> Australian time: A trained koala brings me dinner.


I don't know, that might be Mountain time. In Pacific time, they skip the foreplay and go straight to the business at hand! Emphasis on the "at hand." :lol:

How come Australia isn't in Pacific time? I think the Aussies are getting screwed just like they always are! Isn't that so, Eddie?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Were currently working on a bigger tug boat to move futher East away from NK


RU Kidding?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I don't know, that might be Mountain time. In Pacific time, they skip the foreplay and go straight to the business at hand! Emphasis on the "at hand." :lol:
> 
> How come Australia isn't in Pacific time? I think the Aussies are getting screwed just like they always are! Isn't that so, Eddie?


I believe Australia is 14 hours ahead of my time. Should be 6:40AM there, I think.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> RU Kidding?


The alternate plan is a giant catapulted Boomarang..... Our anti missle defence system - very high tech! only problem is finding a big enough gum tree


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The alternate plan is a giant catapulted Boomarang..... Our anti missle defence system - very high tech! only problem is finding a big enough gum tree


I pray that nobody from the NK military has read your post. They are tough enough already!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I pray that nobody from the NK military has read your post. They are tough enough already!


Don't worry our diesel powered submarines are the (not) best in the world, so noisy [when they are not broken down] that they attract Whales in mating season........... (true story) were got our coastline covered No probs 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collins-class_submarine


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I don't know, that might be Mountain time. In Pacific time, they skip the foreplay and go straight to the business at hand! Emphasis on the "at hand." :lol:
> 
> How come Australia isn't in Pacific time? I think the Aussies are getting screwed just like they always are! Isn't that so, Eddie?


I do plenty of foreplay! I usually look at the music scores before I get down to business...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I do plenty of foreplay! I usually look at the music scores before I get down to business...


Well, I bet that the foreplay does not last long then before it goes into full blast mode!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> I believe Australia is 14 hours ahead of my time. Should be 6:40AM there, I think.


Yeah, I'm doing my shoreline patrol shift (subs are broken again) watching out for Missiles - if I see one I wave a red flag.......


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Don't worry our diesel powered submarines are the (not) best in the world, so noisy [when they are not broken down] that they attract Whales in mating season........... (true story) were got our coastline covered No probs
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collins-class_submarine


There's noting like a mating sperm whale to ruin your plans for blasting the world with your noisy phallic shaped warship, huh? :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> I don't know, that might be Mountain time. In Pacific time, they skip the foreplay and go straight to the business at hand! Emphasis on the "at hand." :lol:
> 
> How come Australia isn't in Pacific time? I think the Aussies are getting screwed just like they always are! Isn't that so, Eddie?


Ah you see that would be US pacific time- now Donald is in control that would be OZ East standard time minus 50 years


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Well, I bet that the foreplay does not last long then before it goes into full blast mode!


Actually, sometimes it lasts pretty long...I like to tease myself for a while before the main action starts!


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Ah you see that would be US pacific time- now Donald is in control that would be OZ East standard time minus 50 years


I thought it was obvious.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> There's noting like a mating sperm whale to ruin your plans for blasting the world with your noisy phallic shaped warship, huh? :lol:


Yes that _point_ has been _raised_ several times


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Actually, sometimes it lasts pretty long...I like to tease myself for a while before the main action starts!


Ooh, now you're teasing me! Do you do a strip tease for whoever is in your bedroom? :devil:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Yes that _point_ has been _raised_ several times


There is an implication that this commercial is about Russians, but it's really about the Australian Navy. I think Eddie is the "50 watts per channel, babycakes!" guy!






:lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Ooh, now you're teasing me! Do you do a strip tease for whoever is in your bedroom? :devil:


Nothing that exciting! By "teasing" I actually mean that I study musical scores and read philosophy beforehand. It helps build up the erotic tension. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Nothing that exciting! By "teasing" I actually mean that I study musical scores and read philosophy beforehand. It helps build up the erotic tension. :lol:


Hey if it works for you...but Beethoven might prefer a strip tease! :lol: Beethoven already knows his music and how great he is!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pssst top secret Army intelligency video of current planning to move Oz out of range........ note we don't blow rasberries like KAOS we fart


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Hey if it works for you...but Beethoven might prefer a strip tease! :lol: Beethoven already knows his music and how great he is!


Beethoven can never get his fill of praise! He loves it when I talk about his music. I like your idea, though. Maybe I should do a strip tease while telling him "Ludwig, I love that C# in measure 7 of the Eroica." :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Beethoven can never get his fill of praise! He loves it when I talk about his music. I like your idea, though. Maybe I should do a strip tease while telling him "Ludwig, I love that C# in measure 7 of the Eroica." :lol:


Yeah, Beethoven does seem like he'd like to have his ego pumped up! But, then again, showing him your C#...:devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Breaking News ............ South Australia (30mins behind eastern Oz and some say 30 years behind) - have invented the world's biggest cellular/ Mobile phone....... First Elon Musk is building the world's biggest battery (refer below) in 100 days or its free! then they plan on getting the worlds biggest phone plan and then I can call ET & Stockhausen and maybe Bettina can even call Beethoven.....

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-07-07/sa-to-get-worlds-biggest-lithium-ion-battery/8687268


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Breaking News ............ South Australia (30mins behind eastern Oz and some say 30 years behind) - have invented the world's biggest cellular/ Mobile phone....... First Elon Musk is building the world's biggest battery (refer below) in 100 days or its free! then they plan on getting the worlds biggest phone plan and then I can call ET & Stockhausen and *maybe Bettina can even call Beethoven*.....
> 
> http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-07-07/sa-to-get-worlds-biggest-lithium-ion-battery/8687268


Too bad he's deaf!  He might not be able to hear me. Maybe if I scream really loudly: "LUDWIG, I'M TOUCHING MYSELF TO YOUR FIFTH SYMPHONY!!" :lol:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Breaking News ............ South Australia (30mins behind eastern Oz and some say 30 years behind) - have invented the world's biggest cellular/ Mobile phone....... First Elon Musk is building the world's biggest battery (refer below) in 100 days or its free! then they plan on getting the worlds biggest phone plan and then I can call ET & Stockhausen and maybe Bettina can even call Beethoven.....
> 
> http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-07-07/sa-to-get-worlds-biggest-lithium-ion-battery/8687268


They talk about the radiation of mobile phones. I wonder if South Australia has a phone powerful enough to turn my balls into watermelon-sized balls?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Too bad he's deaf!  He might not be able to hear me. Maybe if I scream really loudly: "LUDWIG, I'M TOUCHING MYSELF TO YOUR FIFTH SYMPHONY!!" :lol:


You'll never get a hold of Beethoven on the phone anyway. His number starts with a 6, but you'll always try some odd number! :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

last page, please


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> STI posts that rise to the level of main forum posts.
> 
> I nominate Klassik's post where he offered to send daily messages to the 19th century, informing me about his erections.
> 
> Also, hpowders' post where he asked Klassik to flip a coin, as a way of determining who would get on top during gay sex.


UHHHH.......


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

millionrainbows said:


> last page, please


Is the world ending or something?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> hpowders knows that too.


Yet some questionable words seem to be okay. I won't list them so the censors could easily add them.

My confidential list? Reasonable. Bitcoin.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Too bad he's deaf!  He might not be able to hear me. Maybe if I scream really loudly: "LUDWIG, I'M TOUCHING MYSELF TO YOUR FIFTH SYMPHONY!!" :lol:


Its a smart phone derrrrrrrr - you can facebook him


----------



## millionrainbows

Scopitone said:


> I think I really dig Brahms. Does that make me cool? Or unadventurous?


I associate Brahms with conservative taste.


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Its a smart phone derrrrrrrr - you can facebook him


Perfect! I'll send him a naked picture of myself holding one of his scores. :devil:


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Is the world ending or something?


Ignore. He has no juice roun' here.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Perfect! I'll send him a naked picture of myself holding one of his scores. :devil:


I can just forward my copy.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> I can just forward my copy.


But I'm not holding a score in that picture! Could you please photoshop in the Eroica score? Thanks!


----------



## millionrainbows

Bettina said:


> Perfect! I'll send him a naked picture of myself holding one of his scores. :devil:


Be sure to roll it up, first.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> Perfect! I'll send him a naked picture of myself holding one of his scores. :devil:


If he doesn't pop a gasket - think of what music he might produce............


----------



## hpowders

Wading through the swamp that is classical music.

Is there anything classical that's better than video game music?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> But I'm not holding a score in that picture! Could you please photoshop in the Eroica score? Thanks!


Okay. Waldstein will take it to the UPS store for photocopying and shopping.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> But I'm not holding a score in that picture! Could you please photoshop in the Eroica score? Thanks!


Yeah. I just looked. I can confirm you are correct. Nice camera. The detail is so life-like.

I may need to go away for 10 minutes...

.....but I'll be Bach, in time, if not in genius.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yeah. I just looked. I can confirm you are correct. Nice camera. The detail is so life-like.
> 
> I may need to go away for 10 minutes...


When you photoshop in the Eroica, please make sure not to cover up any of my naughty bits! Don't use it like a fig leaf. I want Ludwig to see everything.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> When you photoshop in the Eroica, please make sure not to cover up any of my naughty bits! Don't use it like a fig leaf. I want Ludwig to see everything.


Ludwig! Always Ludwig!!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah. I just looked. I can confirm you are correct. Nice camera. The detail is so life-like.
> 
> I may need to go away for 10 minutes...
> 
> .....but I'll be Bach, in time, if not in genius.


Wait, this ended up in the Sears catalog? They must be getting desperate! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

You are an opera director attempting to manage a tempermental soprano.
Do you simply acquiesce to her demands or do you cast a diva into the ocean when it gets dark?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> You are an opera director attempting to manage a tempermental soprano.
> Do you simply acquiesce to her demands or do you cast a diva into the ocean when it gets dark?


You mean there are opera directors who deal with non-tempermental sopranos?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Wait, this ended up in the Sears catalog? They must be getting desperate! :lol:


They are practically out of business. They want to publish my profile pic. Nothing more desperate than that....


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You mean there are opera directors who deal with non-tempermental sopranos?


Some opera directors simply pay whatever the Price is.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> They are practically out of business. They want to publish my profile pic. Nothing more desperate than that....


Really? I thought you did the Sears catalog already? This isn't you?

http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Sears_Wishbook/#84

You, Eddie, and myself should do a page where we're all in our underwear/pajamas. I think we can save Sears. It'll be like this:

http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Sears_Wishbook/#88

We can get one with Bettina in her thongs rubbing up against Beethoven's corpse. :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Really? I thought you did the Sears catalog already? This isn't you?
> 
> http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Sears_Wishbook/#84
> 
> You, Eddie, and myself should do a page where we're all in our underwear/pajamas. I think we can save Sears. It'll be like this:
> 
> http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Sears_Wishbook/#88
> 
> We can get one with Bettina in her thongs rubbing up against Beethoven's corpse. :devil:


We should put underwear on Beethoven's corpse for the photoshoot! What pair of underwear should he model? It'll sell like hotcakes! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

So which is better: Frescobaldi's Partitas or Tebaldi's Tosca?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Really? I thought you did the Sears catalog already? This isn't you?
> 
> http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Sears_Wishbook/#84
> 
> You, Eddie, and myself should do a page where we're all in our underwear/pajamas. I think we can save Sears. It'll be like this:
> 
> http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Sears_Wishbook/#88
> 
> We can get one with Bettina in her thongs rubbing up against Beethoven's corpse. :devil:


Tell me you have a vivid imagination and that wouldn't really happen?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> We should put underwear on Beethoven's corpse for the photoshoot! What pair of underwear should he model? It'll sell like hotcakes! :lol:


Are you sure that isn't Beethoven on the right hand page here?

http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Sears_Wishbook/#84

The guy with the Budweiser pajamas and tube socks. :lol: That looks like Beethoven. Those guys seem about as sexually potent as Beethoven's corpse anyway!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> We should put underwear on Beethoven's corpse for the photoshoot! What pair of underwear should he model? It'll sell like *hotcakes! *:lol:


I can bring some natural syrup.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Are you sure that isn't Beethoven on the right hand page here?
> 
> http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1975_Sears_Wishbook/#84
> 
> The guy with the Budweiser pajamas and tube socks. :lol: That looks like Beethoven. Those guys seem about as sexually potent as Beethoven's corpse anyway!


Please- some respect for the dead.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Tell me you have a vivid imagination and that wouldn't really happen?


You don't think we're better looking than those guys? No wonder Sears is failing. We can save them!

Ok, really it would be Bettina in her thongs that would save them, but we might as we get our moment of glory! 



hpowders said:


> I can bring some natural syrup.


I'll bring the tuna! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> I can bring some natural syrup.


I made some 10 minutes ago. I'll refrigerate it. Don't know when I will get another chance.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Tell me you have a vivid imagination and that wouldn't really happen?


Of course it wouldn't happen! I'd probably choose Bernstein's corpse instead - it's a lot fresher! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Of course it wouldn't happen! I'd probably choose Bernstein's corpse instead - it's a lot fresher! :lol:


I wonder what he looks like now. He's buried in Brooklyn.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Of course it wouldn't happen! I'd probably choose Bernstein's corpse instead - it's a lot fresher! :lol:


Hopefully, he was buried with his baton....so it wouldn't turn out to be a total waste.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I wonder what he looks like now. He's buried in Brooklyn.


I don't know. That's a lot of public urination. Is urine a preservative? C'mon, Mr. _Wiz_ard. Give us an answer. :devil:


----------



## hpowders

With Bernstein's baton, Bettina can practice her stick technique, if conducted in an orderly fashion...andante tempo.


----------



## Klassik

Wasn't Bernstein buried with a Mahler symphony? Or am I thinking of someone else? If so, Bettina wouldn't be interested in Bernstein's corpse. I don't blame her! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Wasn't Bernstein buried with a Mahler symphony? Or am I thinking of someone else? If so, Bettina wouldn't be interested in Bernstein's corpse. I don't blame her! :lol:


Just tell her it's the Liszt Transcendental Etudes. Probably illegible and she being eligible...


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Wasn't Bernstein buried with a Mahler symphony? Or am I thinking of someone else? If so, Bettina wouldn't be interested in Bernstein's corpse. I don't blame her! :lol:


That's OK, I can overlook the Mahler symphony. Now if I could just "overlook" the smell...


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That's OK, I can overlook the Mahler symphony. Now if I could just "overlook" the smell...


Yeah but it's simply part of being a disintegrating human....could be a transcendental experience.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's OK, I can overlook the Mahler symphony. Now if I could just "overlook" the smell...


You'll be okay. He smoked so many Camels (or whatever brand) that he probably still smells like an ashtray just like when he was alive!

STI: Why does Bettina love stinky men? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Yeah but it's simply part of being a disintegrating human....


That's true - and he probably still smells better than Beethoven ever did, even when he was alive!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You'll be okay. He smoked so many Camels (or whatever brand) that he probably still smells like an ashtray just like when he was alive!
> 
> STI: Why does Bettina love stinky men? :lol:


Don't look at me. I bathe as often as my idol, Bach.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You'll be okay. He smoked so many Camels (or whatever brand) that he probably still smells like an ashtray just like when he was alive!
> 
> STI: Why does Bettina love stinky men? :lol:


Good question. I guess it's because genius and body odor often go together!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That's true - and he probably still smells better than Beethoven ever did, even when he was alive!


You know pretty soon, I will be throwing out all their music!!! My bubble is being burst!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Good question. I guess it's because genius and body odor often go together!


Well, in that case, there's a nice fishy aroma to Klassik! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, in that case, there's a nice fishy aroma to Klassik! :devil:


It loses that when refrigerated.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, in that case, there's a nice fishy aroma to Klassik! :devil:


Sounds like an excellent ad for eHarmony.com!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> It loses that when refrigerated.


It's Houston. In the summer. It's a very rancid smell actually! :lol: And, of course, my underwear will cover nothing since it isn't on!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> It's Houston. In the summer. It's a very rancid smell actually! :lol: And, of course, my underwear will cover nothing since it isn't on!


Houston is like, next to Death Valley, the steamiest place to live in the US during the summer. How do you stand it?

Even your water bugs are packing their suitcases.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Houston is like, next to Death Valley, the steamiest place to live in the US during the summer. How do you stand it?
> 
> Even your water bugs are packing their suitcases.


It's pretty hot here in Davis too! But it's easy for me to cope with it. I just turn on the AC, take off my clothes, and....well, you know the rest...:devil:


----------



## hpowders

Tampa is bad, but Houston is worse.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Houston is like, next to Death Valley, the steamiest place to live in the US during the summer. How do you stand it?
> 
> Even your water bugs are packing their suitcases.


You get used to it being hot and steamy! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It's pretty hot here in Davis too! But it's easy for me to cope with it. I just turn on the AC, take off my clothes, and....well, you know the rest...:devil:


:lol: at a NorCal person complaining about the heat with people from Florida and Texas! But, yeah, I deal with it the same way you do...except for the dead men! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> It's pretty hot here in Davis too! But it's easy for me to cope with it. I just turn on the AC, take off my clothes, and....well, you know the rest...:devil:


I know. Around sacramento way, it gets very hot in summer.

I keep the AC on all year. Gets rid of the fishy smell. 
Doesn't get under 50 usually in winter. Now it's a steady 95 every afternoon 'til mid-October.

Good thing they have the Swamp Philharmonic to whet my interest.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> :lol: at a NorCal person complaining about the heat with people from Florida and Texas! But, yeah, I deal with it the same way you do...except for the dead men! :devil:


Hey, Davis can hold its own with the hottest cities in the world. It's 106 degrees today. It might not be as humid as Florida and Texas, but it's every bit as hot!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You get used to it being hot and steamy! :devil:


Well, I rarely go out between 10AM and 4PM. It's really hot. But come mid-October, it turns really nice for 5 months.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Hey, Davis can hold its own with the hottest cities in the world. It's 106 degrees today. It might not be as humid as Florida and Texas, but it's every bit as hot!


It's not the heat that gets you, it's the humidity! My underwear gets soaking wet as soon as I go out! And it's not because I peed in them either! And it's not because I lost a load in them either....well, not that early in the morning at least! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Hey, Davis can hold its own with the hottest cities in the world. It's 106 degrees today. It might not be as humid as Florida and Texas, but it's every bit as hot!


"Dry" heat is a myth. I was in Vegas once and it was also around 108 and believe me, I could not grip the steering wheel-I needed gloves.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It's not the heat that gets you, it's the humidity! * My underwear gets soaking wet as soon as I go out! * And it's not because I peed in them either! And it's not because I lost a load in them either....well, not that early in the morning at least! :devil:


My panties get soaking wet as soon as I turn on my CD player.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Well, I rarely go out between 10AM and 4PM. It's really hot. But come mid-October, it turns really nice for 5 months.


It can get somewhat cold here in Houston in the winters. The low this winter was 22, but no snow or ice this year. I was almost compelled to keep my underwear on the day that it was 22!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> My panties get soaking wet as soon as I turn on my CD player.


Video, or it never happened.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Video, or it never happened.


I think you've already seen enough!!  :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Video, or it never happened.


I believe that it happened! :devil:

108 is hot, no doubt about that. Still, I'd rather have that than that temperature with 100% humidity. It's terrible even at night. 90+ with all that evening humidity! 

My car has an all-black interior!  I remember when we had a car when I was young with black vinyl seats and an A/C that did nothing! You would almost melt into the seats!


----------



## hpowders

The funniest and/or most depressing thing: Santa wears bermuda shorts in Tampa. I can never get used to that.

The foliage here is always so burned out looking.

So refreshing when I was in Portland, Oregon, Seattle and Vancouver-the incredibly beautiful flowers and greenery-so much prettier than Florida. Much less sun; cooler temperatures.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I think you've already seen enough!!  :lol:


According to my diary....not for a while.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> According to my diary....not for a while.


A long, dry spell.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> According to my diary....not for a while.


I'm sorry about that, but I'm concentrating on dead men for the time being.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> The funniest and/or most depressing thing: Santa wears bermuda shorts in Tampa. I can never get used to that.
> 
> The foliage here is always so burned out looking.
> 
> So refreshing when I was in Portland, Oregon, Seattle and Vancouver-the incredibly beautiful flowers and greenery-so much prettier than Florida. Much less sun; cooler temperatures.


Plus, here in Houston, we have those somewhat unexpected thunderstorms that pop up and drop 1-2" of rain on us unexpectedly. Sometimes you have to take your pants off even when you don't want to just to keep them from getting wet in the flash flooding! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm sorry about that, but I'm concentrating on dead men for the time being.


That's no problem. Page me when you feel the urge to talk to somebody.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Plus, here in Houston, we have those somewhat unexpected thunderstorms that pop up and drop 1-2" of rain on us unexpectedly. Sometimes you have to take your pants off even when you don't want to just to keep them from getting wet in the flash flooding! :lol:


So do we. I once got caught on the golf course. I don't know how I made it back alive-blinding, intense rain; lightning, surrounding my golf cart. No warning, in a matter of seconds!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Plus, here in Houston, we have those somewhat unexpected thunderstorms that pop up and drop 1-2" of rain on us unexpectedly. *Sometimes you have to take your pants off even when you don't want to just to keep them from getting wet in the flash flooding! * :lol:


That happens to me when I watch videos of Bernstein conducting Beethoven!


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> That happens to me when I watch videos of Bernstein conducting Beethoven!


Nice, but he would prefer Aaron Copland.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That happens to me when I watch videos of Bernstein conducting Beethoven!


That's a lie!  You know you wanted to take your pants off. Hence why you watched those videos to begin with! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> That's a lie!  You know you wanted to take your pants off. Hence why you watched those videos to begin with! :lol:


Sometimes I try to keep my pants (and panties) on for as long as possible. I like to tease myself and wait for the tension to build up higher and higher!


----------



## Klassik

True story: Bernstein used to be one of my favorite conductors, but then I watched a video of him conducting the Rhapsody in Blue from the piano. He butchered it so badly! Lang Lang could have done a better job!  He needs to take piano lessons from Bettina! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> True story: Bernstein used to be one of my favorite conductors, but then I watched a video of him conducting the Rhapsody in Blue from the piano. He butchered it so badly! Lang Lang could have done a better job!  He needs to take piano lessons from Bettina! :lol:


I couldn't possibly do it - I would be totally incapable of concentrating! Not to mention the flash flood in my panties. I'd have to wear Depends for Lenny's lesson! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I couldn't possibly do it - I would be totally incapable of concentrating! Not to mention the flash flood in my panties. I'd have to wear Depends for Lenny's lesson! :lol:


He'd wonder why you were always running off to the bathroom! Do you count bathroom breaks as time on the clock? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> He'd wonder why you were always running off to the bathroom! Do you count bathroom breaks as time on the clock? :lol:


I guess I'd have to make up the extra time afterwards. I'd better try to be quiet while I "take care of business" in the bathroom. It would be embarrassing if he heard me shouting "Oh, Lenny, please penetrate my Berlin wall!" :lol: :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I guess I'd have to make up the extra time afterwards. I'd better try to be quiet while I "take care of business" in the bathroom. It would be embarrassing if he heard me shouting "Oh, Lenny, please penetrate my Berlin wall!" :lol: :lol:


What if Bernstein was a bad student? What if he didn't do his homework or didn't show improvement? Would you lose your feelings for him? I assume he had some practice before he turned the Rhapsody in Blue into the Tragedy in Blue! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> What if Bernstein was a bad student? What if he didn't do his homework or didn't show improvement? Would you lose your feelings for him? I assume he had some practice before he turned the Rhapsody in Blue into the Tragedy in Blue! :lol:


No, I wouldn't lose my feelings for him at all. My love for him is based on his brilliance as a conductor and composer (some might argue with the latter point, but I actually DO believe that West Side Story and Candide are brilliant.)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No, I wouldn't lose my feelings for him at all. My love for him is based on his brilliance as a conductor and composer (some might argue with the latter point, but I actually DO believe that West Side Story and Candide are brilliant.)


Every once in a while, I get a tiny flicker for Eugene Ormandy. It's not enough of a flicker for me to take my pants or underwear off though! :lol:

I would argue the latter point, but Bernstein was a good conductor. Maybe a better showman than a conductor, but a good one nonetheless even if I prefer Mr. Ormandy! :lol:


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> :lol: at a NorCal person complaining about the heat with people from Florida and Texas! But, yeah, I deal with it the same way you do...except for the dead men! :devil:


Meanwhile, here I am sitting in my igloo in Canada...



hpowders said:


> "Dry" heat is a myth. I was in Vegas once and it was also around 108 and believe me, I could not grip the steering wheel-I needed gloves.


True that. Been to Vegas once: left our car parked outside and wrecked the GPS.


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Meanwhile, here I am sitting in my igloo in Canada...


I'll be there soon enough! I hope the Mounties are ready for Klassik's arrival! :lol:


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> I'll be there soon enough! I hope the Mounties are ready for Klassik's arrival! :lol:


Nope, you'd probably end up dealing with the regular old police if you stepped out of line. There are literally no Mounties where I live.


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Nope, you'd probably end up dealing with the regular old police if you stepped out of line. There are literally no Mounties where I live.


Usually the women will just slap me with their purses so a constabulary presence isn't required anyway! :lol: Having said that, I am planning on carrying enough pairs of pants with me for the trip so I should be okay. Then again, I'm still undecided about bringing underwear! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Meanwhile, here I am sitting in my igloo in Canada...
> 
> True that. Been to Vegas once: left our car parked outside and wrecked the GPS.


Even though I burned my hands on the steering wheel, at least I won $7,000,000 playing blackjack!

NOT!!


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Wow, your sexual fantasies must be a bottomless well or something! Hold on, I'll grab a bag of popcorn before the next revelation.


Hope your popcorn never smells fishy.


----------



## hpowders

TC dating site:

Favorite boxes, new and used.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> TC dating site:
> 
> Favorite boxes, new and used.


Boxes? I thought we used socks. Who wants a used STIer sock?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Boxes? * I thought we used socks.* Who wants a used STIer sock?


Depends if you want a fantasy life or are ready to step up to the real thing.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Depends if you want a fantasy life or are ready to step up to the real thing.


I was born ready, but none of the women around here are ready for the Klassik experience!


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Depends if you want a fantasy life or are ready to step up to the real thing.


I think everybody knows where I stand on this one!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I was born ready, but none of the women around here are ready for the Klassik experience!


I was born innocent, but quickly learned that if I wanted anything done, I would have to do it myself.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think everybody knows where I stand on this one!


You stand? I figured that was just a public restroom thing. I thought you lie on your back and fantasize most of the time?


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I think everybody knows where I stand on this one!


A complete waste. 

Reality can be nice!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I was born innocent, but quickly learned that if I wanted anything done, I would have to do it myself.


I know, right?  Hence the used sock. In good condition. The fishy smell does not indicate foot fungus. I am a fun guy though!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You stand? I figured that was just a public restroom thing. I thought you lie on your back and fantasize most of the time?


You have proof of this? Bitcoin? I pay plenty.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> You have proof of this? Bitcoin? I pay plenty.


She might have some sticky cassettes/CDs. Otherwise, women don't leave as much proof in this regard as men do!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> She might have some sticky cassettes/CDs. Otherwise, women don't leave as much proof in this regard as men do!


Yeah, there's really no female equivalent of the "money shot." :lol:


----------



## Klassik

STI: Falco vs. 20th Century Classical

I'm going with Falco here. How can you beat this?


----------



## JeffD

Bettina said:


> Actually, sometimes it lasts pretty long...I like to tease myself for a while before the main action starts!


Sort of a prelude before you get lewd.

Sorry, I had to.


----------



## Portamento

Mozart vs. the 20th century......


----------



## Portamento

is Julia Wolfe Beethoven's daughter??


----------



## Portamento

Why do I like schnittke more when I don't take my meds ?


----------



## Portamento

Is Schnitkke Beethoven's son ??


----------



## Bettina

JeffD said:


> Sort of a prelude before you get lewd.
> 
> Sorry, I had to.


Well played! I love it - the pre-lewd portion of my erotic interactions with dead men!


----------



## JeffD

Bettina said:


> Yeah, there's really no female equivalent of the "money shot." :lol:


We all finish more or less like Mozart's Symphony #40 ends, respectably finished.

We yearn to end like Beethoven's 5th Symphony ends, eye rolled back and toes splayed out.

Yea listen to the last few minutes of both, I dare you.


----------



## Portamento

Fountain of Youth : immortality :: STI : free likes


----------



## Portamento

will STI give me an _STD_?


----------



## Portamento

Are skinny jeans making a comeback due to the new complexity movement?


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> will STI give me an _STD_?


Quite possibly, but I'm clean! We also frequently discuss stinky subjects. Fair warning!


----------



## Portamento

Klassik said:


> Quite possibly, but I'm clean! We also frequently discuss stinky subjects. Fair warning!


I'm confused. So who's the contagious one?? Bettina..... Eddie.....


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> I'm confused. So who's the contagious one?? Bettina..... Eddie.....


Aliens....which means it's probably Eddie. He says he's from planet Earth, but geographically it seems that he must be from Uranus! :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

OJ Simpson $250M, Justin Bieber $200M, Miley Cyrus $200M, Kim Kardashian $149M, Paris Hilton $100M, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Vaneyes

How many versions of hoochie coochie do we need? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Vaneyes

Why is A=440Hz the tuning standard for TC?

I'll have an answer within an hour, trick question, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Tunafish A=440Hz Great sandwich


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> OJ Simpson $250M, Justin Bieber $200M, Miley Cyrus $200M, Kim Kardashian $149M, Paris Hilton $100M, other, don't know, don't care.


TC Mods, $16/month.


----------



## Vaneyes

Hammer, sickle, stars, stripes, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/08/...ium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_article


----------



## Klassik

STI: Did hpowders make us settle for Bush? I think he hung Chad in 2000. 

2000 was technically the 20th century, right? Hmm....


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> Quite possibly, but I'm clean! We also frequently discuss stinky subjects. Fair warning!


----------



## Vaneyes

i like music said:


> Are skinny jeans making a comeback due to the new complexity movement?


*
"The Vatican allows them, so they must be okay."

*


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Tunafish A=440Hz Great sandwich


Well, I'm glad someone finally enjoyed my made from scratch cooking! Well, more like made from yanking...:devil:


----------



## Bettina

Inspired by the Mozart thread -

Poll: would you lick Mozart's Arsch?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Inspired by the Mozart thread -
> 
> Poll: would you lick Mozart's Arsch?


Mozart wrote the best scheiße. Why not? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

STI: Who wants to watch a Pistol Pete Tchaikovsky ballet with me. I believe it's The Nutcracker. I wonder if any trumpets will be blown?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> STI: Who wants to watch a Pistol Pete Tchaikovsky ballet with me. I believe it's The Nutcracker. I wonder if any trumpets will be blown?


I'd be happy to blow Pete's trumpet, but he'd probably want you to do it instead! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'd be happy to blow Pete's trumpet, but he'd probably want you to do it instead! :lol:


The Nutcracker is one heck of a ballet! Just "strap on" and a good time will be had by all! Especially by Pistol Pete Tchaikovsky! :trp:


----------



## Klassik

STI: Speaking of which, do they make strap-ons that shoot water like a water gun? It would make sense, right?  Perhaps I can get a patent for this.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Inspired by the Mozart thread -
> 
> Poll: would you lick Mozart's Arsch?


If YOU did, I would say it would be Bettina's ultimate Arsch d' Triumph!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> If YOU did, I would say it would be Bettina's ultimate Arsch d' Triumph!!


She can make a movie about it. It'll probably win the Golden Dingleberry Award! 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Raspberry_Awards


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> She can make a movie about it. It'll probably win the Golden Dingleberry Award!
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Raspberry_Awards


I would vote for Bettina, but I'm not that accurate on voting.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I would vote for Bettina, but I'm not that accurate on voting.


Yeah, you'd accidentally vote for Debbie Does the Twelve-Tone Technique in Dallas instead!


----------



## Portamento

Klassik is right. I would Bett that Ina jiffy she would've grabbed that raspberry.


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> Klassik is right. I would Bett that Ina jiffy she would've grabbed that raspberry.


If Bettina goes for the dingleberry, can we call her Buttina?



:devil:


----------



## Portamento

Klassik said:


> If Bettina goes for the dingleberry, can we call her Buttina?
> 
> 
> 
> :devil:


or Berryna, but sure.


----------



## hpowders

i like music said:


> Klassik is right. I would Bett that Ina jiffy she would've grabbed that raspberry.


Oh no! Another pun-icious poster.


----------



## Klassik

STI: Should Klassik go into hiding for making the Buttina joke?


----------



## Portamento

Klassik said:


> STI: Should Klassik go into hiding for making the Buttina joke?


I don't think you haRazz'd her in any way, but you should be Berry sorry for your actions.


----------



## hpowders

In which century will the music stop due to nuclear annihilation: 8th, 12th, 14th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 25th?

Note that Mozart wrote a piano concerto for each.


----------



## Portamento

hpowders said:


> Oh no! Another pun-icious poster.


You better berryve it.


----------



## Portamento

hpowders said:


> In which century will the music stop due to nuclear annihilation: 8th, 12th, 14th, 19th, 20th, 21th, 25th?


the 21-firth century is just _great_. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> STI: Should Klassik go into hiding for making the Buttina joke?


At least she didn't decide on her tag being Thumbelina.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> You realize she changed her name from Thumbelina.


Well, you *bet*ter believe that she uses that thumb in her routine! I think it represents Beethoven...


----------



## Portamento

oh man, this thread is how you _rake up_ the likes. This or Papa Haydn in Current Listening.


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> oh man, this thread is how you _rake up_ the likes. This or Papa Haydn in Current Listening.


We'll have to see how many likes ole' Klassik gets from Büttina. I think the umlaut will help my case! :lol:

STI: We should buy our newest member, CHIPISTIMISTITISTIKISTILI, a welcoming present. I suggest a nickname. Thoughts?


----------



## Portamento

I thought this would be a good time to mention that my daughter typed my username in for me.


----------



## Portamento

Klassik said:


> We'll have to see how many likes ole' Klassik gets from Büttina. I think the umlaut will help my case! :lol:
> 
> STI: We should buy our newest member, CHIPISTIMISTITISTIKISTILI, a welcoming present. I suggest a nickname. Thoughts?


How about Chip dysplasia? or Chip replacement?


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> I thought this would be a good time to mention that my daughter typed my username for me.


It's very creative. Almost as creative as "Klassik!"


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> How about Chip dysplasia? or Chip replacement?


Works for me. I was thinking Chip off the old Bloch.


----------



## Portamento

Klassik said:


> Works for me. I was thinking Chip off the old Bloch.


Nice. It's genius!


----------



## Portamento

Poll: Which makes you want to jump off a bridge more, the character limit or minimum?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> If Bettina goes for the dingleberry, can we call her Buttina?
> 
> 
> 
> :devil:


Feel free to call me Buttina (with or without the umlaut), but you'd better not put anything in there!  :lol:


----------



## Bettina

i like music said:


> I thought this would be a good time to mention that my daughter typed my username in for me.


This is a good time to mention that I typed in my username with one hand. :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Feel free to call me Buttina (with or without the umlaut), but you'd better not put anything in there!


Not even one of my homemade tuna sandwiches? :lol:

I don't want to put anything in your bütt. I'd like to put my 11th finger somewhere else though! :devil: It's just a finger, I don't see what the problem is here! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> This is a good time to mention that I typed in my username with one hand. :devil:


One hand or one finger? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> One hand or one finger? :devil:


I typed it with one hand, while the other hand was...occupied elsewhere. :devil:

I'm not sure if I could type and finger myself with the _same _hand...that seems physically impossible! I would basically have to sit on top of my computer keyboard to make that happen. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I typed it with one hand, while the other hand was...occupied elsewhere. :devil:
> 
> I'm not sure if I could type and finger myself with the _same _hand...that seems physically impossible! I would basically have to sit on top of my computer keyboard to make that happen. :lol:


Good point. I feel like you've thought this out before. Clearly I have not. :lol: Maybe you typed it with your nose or toes? Or do those get in on the action too?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Good point. I feel like you've thought this out before. Clearly I have not. :lol: Maybe you typed it with your nose or toes? * Or do those get in on the action too? *


I think it would be physically impossible for me to turn my toes in that direction. Let me give it a try and see...

Yes, definitely impossible! I hope I remembered to close the curtains - I wouldn't want the neighbors to see me trying to insert my toes in my love tunnel!  So much for my reputation as the friendly neighborhood piano teacher! :lol:

As for my nose, I'm assuming that would be impossible too, since I've often tried (and failed) to lick myself down there.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think it would be physically impossible for me to turn my toes in that direction. Let me give it a try and see...
> 
> Yes, definitely impossible! I hope I remembered to close the curtains - I wouldn't want the neighbors to see me trying to insert my toes in my love tunnel!  So much for my reputation as the friendly neighborhood piano teacher! :lol:
> 
> As for my nose, I'm assuming that would be impossible too, since I've often tried (and failed) to lick myself down there.


So you're saying that Goethe was wrong about Bettina and autocunnilingus? 

I _think_ I could get some toe action on my corncob. I don't have an erection right now (hard to believe, huh?) so I can't say for sure right now. If nothing else, I could get my heel in on it. I'm not sure why I'd want to. :lol:

I would ask you what is the strangest body part you got in on the action, but I'm not sure if STI is ready for the answer! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So you're saying that Goethe was wrong about Bettina and autocunnilingus?
> 
> I _think_ I could get some toe action on my corncob. I don't have an erection right now (hard to believe, huh?) so I can't say for sure right now. If nothing else, I could get my heel in on it. I'm not sure why I'd want to. :lol:
> 
> I would ask you what is the strangest body part you got in on the action, but I'm not sure if STI is ready for the answer! :devil:


Unfortunately, I'm not as flexible as the fictional Bettina. However, if I were able to do that, I would probably never have sought out partners for sex, at any point in my life! :lol:

I haven't tried using any unusual body parts in my activities. I'm disappointingly traditional - I simply stick to good old-fashioned fingering. How positively Victorian of me! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Unfortunately, I'm not as flexible as the fictional Bettina. However, if I were able to do that, I would probably never have sought out partners for sex, at any point in my life! :lol:
> 
> I haven't tried using any unusual body parts in my activities. I'm disappointingly traditional - I simply stick to good old-fashioned fingering. How positively Victorian of me! :lol:


Wait, I thought you were a fictional Bettina? :lol: Just not that one? I'm confused! 

Well, I'm glad that you use HIP methods! We are mature adults here at STI! Who needs toys?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Wait, I thought you were a fictional Bettina? :lol: Just not that one? I'm confused!
> 
> Well, I'm glad that you use HIP methods! We are mature adults here at STI! Who needs toys?


My username comes from Bettina von Arnim, one of Beethoven's friends (possibly his girlfriend - if not, then she didn't know what she was missing!) I'm not sure if that's the same Bettina that Goethe wrote about...

Yeah, toys just aren't as good. I've become an expert at varying my finger pressure and using different touches and angles and so on. If only I had the same level of dexterity when playing the piano, I'd be Martha Argerich! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> My username comes from Bettina von Arnim, one of Beethoven's friends (possibly his girlfriend - if not, then she didn't know what she was missing!) I'm not sure if that's the same Bettina that Goethe wrote about...
> 
> Yeah, toys just aren't as good. I've become an expert at varying my finger pressure and using different touches and angles and so on. If only I had the same level of dexterity when playing the piano, I'd be Martha Argerich! :lol:


Yeah, I know about Bettina von Arnim. It seems like maybe Goethe's Bettina might be Beethoven's Bettina.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2003/aug/23/classicalmusicandopera

I'll try to do more research on the pressing matter!

So you're a fictional Bettina based on a real Bettina. Makes sense! :lol:

Would you say that playing the piano has made you a better toucher or being a toucher has made you a better pianist? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, I know about Bettina von Arnim. It seems like maybe Goethe's Bettina might be Beethoven's Bettina.
> 
> https://www.theguardian.com/books/2003/aug/23/classicalmusicandopera
> 
> I'll try to do more research on the pressing matter!
> 
> So you're a fictional Bettina based on a real Bettina. Makes sense! :lol:
> 
> Would you say that playing the piano has made you a better toucher or being a toucher has made you a better pianist? :devil:


I'm not sure if there's any relationship between the two skills. They involve very different movements. Piano playing requires a lot more leaping around from one key to the next. Self-touching takes place on a much smaller "keyboard."


----------



## Klassik

So it seems that there is a ghost town in Texas named after Bettina.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bettina,_Texas

Maybe it's a ghost town because the initial residents only wanted to touch themselves? :lol:

Also, the real Bettina used the pseudonym Beans Beor. Hmm. Beans. She must have been a Buttina too! 

So you're saying that touching is more like playing the harpsichord? I guess you're a woman of many finger skills! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So it seems that there is a ghost town in Texas named after Bettina.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bettina,_Texas
> 
> Maybe it's a ghost town because the initial residents only wanted to touch themselves? :lol:
> 
> Also, the real Bettina used the pseudonym Beans Beor. Hmm. Beans. She must have been a Buttina too!
> 
> So you're saying that touching is more like playing the harpsichord? I guess you're a woman of many finger skills! :devil:


Wow, I had no idea that there was a town named after Bettina! Is it close to where you live? Maybe you can visit the town sometime, as a kind of pilgrimage to the holy site! :lol:

That's quite an interesting pseudonym that Bettina used. I wonder if she farted a lot? Beethoven probably didn't care (or even notice)!

I like your comparison between self-touching and harpsichord playing. Of course, the difference is that the harpsichord emits a tiny sound when touched, whereas I have to make an effort to muffle my moans and screams! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Wow, I had no idea that there was a town named after Bettina! Is it close to where you live? Maybe you can visit the town sometime, as a kind of pilgrimage to the holy site! :lol:
> 
> That's quite an interesting pseudonym that Bettina used. I wonder if she farted a lot? Beethoven probably didn't care (or even notice)!
> 
> I like your comparison between self-touching and harpsichord playing. Of course, the difference is that the harpsichord emits a tiny sound when touched, whereas I have to make an effort to muffle my moans and screams! :devil:


Bettina, TX, is ~200 miles from me. It's out past Austin a little bit in a pretty empty part of the state that's known for it's German heritage. There's little towns over there where people still speak German! There's all kinds of weird places in Texas! Maybe I'll visit Bettina the next time I'm in Austin, but there won't be any women there in Bettina to sleep with me! Well, what's new I guess? 

Maybe she named herself after Beethoven's beloved coffee beans? Or maybe she said "this guy smells like he just ate a lot of beans!" But, yeah, Beethoven wouldn't have noticed! :lol:

You should ignore the soft pedal and just go all out! Why not? Enjoy yourself! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Bettina, TX, is ~200 miles from me. It's out past Austin a little bit in a pretty empty part of the state that's known for it's German heritage. There's little towns over there where people still speak German! There's all kinds of weird places in Texas! Maybe I'll visit Bettina the next time I'm in Austin, but there won't be any women there in Bettina to sleep with me! Well, what's new I guess?
> 
> Maybe she named herself after Beethoven's beloved coffee beans? Or maybe she said "this guy smells like he just ate a lot of beans!" But, yeah, Beethoven wouldn't have noticed! :lol:
> 
> *You should ignore the soft pedal and just go all out! Why not? Enjoy yourself! * :devil:


I have a reputation (i.e. facade) to maintain as a socially respectable piano teacher! In fact, some of my neighbors take lessons from me. The poor kids would be scarred for life if they heard their piano teacher screaming "Tchaikovsky, you can use my backdoor!" :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I have a reputation (i.e. facade) to maintain as a socially respectable piano teacher! In fact, some of my neighbors take lessons from me. The poor kids would be scarred for life if they heard their piano teacher screaming "Tchaikovsky, you can use my backdoor!" :lol:


I'd like to get some acoustic treatments, including sound insulation, to improve my stereo listening experience. Maybe one of these days I'll pull the trigger on that. I can send you my leftover materials! :devil:

Don't you think it would be more fun if you took the restraints off? Or does it not matter?

Edit: Oh, and it's façade!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I'd like to get some acoustic treatments, including sound insulation, to improve my stereo listening experience. Maybe one of these days I'll pull the trigger on that. I can send you my leftover materials! :devil:
> 
> *Don't you think it would be more fun if you took the restraints off? *Or does it not matter?
> 
> Edit: Oh, and it's façade!


No, I think that the quietness actually enhances the eroticism. It makes the experience feel more intimate, as if I'm speaking directly to the composer (or philosopher, or newscaster, or whoever). (Of course, if I were actually speaking into Beethoven's ear, I would have to scream at the top of my voice!!)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No, I think that the quietness actually enhances the eroticism. It makes the experience feel more intimate, as if I'm speaking directly to the composer (or philosopher, or newscaster, or whoever). (Of course, if I were actually speaking into Beethoven's ear, I would have to scream at the top of my voice!!)


I can only speak for myself, but I kind of like it loud! But soft works too. It kind of reinforces the idea of women being delicate little devils! :devil::lol:

I think Dan Rather would rather hear his orgasms through a teleprompter though!  And, of course, with Beethoven, you'd have to scream into his ear trumpets! Have you ever done that?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I can only speak for myself, but I kind of like it loud! But soft works too. It kind of reinforces the idea of women being delicate little devils!
> 
> I think Dan Rather would rather hear his orgasms through a teleprompter though! And, of course, with Beethoven, you'd have to scream into his ear trumpets! Have you ever done that?


Yeah, I like to go for the cute, coquettish style in bed. Probably because the apartment walls are pretty thin! :lol:

Unfortunately, I don't have any ear trumpets lying around! :lol: I'm not sure where I'd even buy one, and it might be pretty expensive. But I certainly like to pretend that I'm there with Ludwig and his trusty trumpet!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I like to go for the cute, coquettish style in bed. Probably because the apartment walls are pretty thin! :lol:
> 
> Unfortunately, I don't have any ear trumpets lying around! :lol: I'm not sure where I'd even buy one, and it might be pretty expensive. But I certainly like to pretend that I'm there with Ludwig and his trusty trumpet!


You can borrow one of my funnels I use for putting oil in the car! It's dirty, but it's probably not any dirtier than Beethoven's ears! 

Ok, ok, I see your style. You're not one of those "take charge" women. You like to let the man pretend that we're in charge. I like that type! :devil: I'm sure the composers would too!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You can borrow one of my funnels I use for putting oil in the car! It's dirty, but it's probably not any dirtier than Beethoven's ears!
> 
> Ok, ok, I see your style. You're not one of those "take charge" women. You like to let the man pretend that we're in charge. I like that type! :devil: I'm sure the composers would too!


Yeah, I'm definitely not aggressive in the bedroom. I basically like to lie back and let the man do the work!  Of course, when I'm having my solo sessions, I'm actually the one doing the work.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I'm definitely not aggressive in the bedroom. I basically like to lie back and let the man do the work!  Of course, when I'm having my solo sessions, I'm actually the one doing the work.


Perhaps this is the best dating advice we could give the young ladies on the relationship thread. Just let the man think he's in charge even if he really isn't! :lol: But, yeah, that's what I like! You'd be a great model. Well, except for the part about not actually needing a living man! 

Then again, I could see Beethoven being the kind who wants an aggressive German woman to slap him on the butt during lovemaking!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Perhaps this is the best dating advice we could give the young ladies on the relationship thread. Just let the man think he's in charge even if he really isn't! :lol: But, yeah, that's what I like! You'd be a great model. Well, except for the part about not actually needing a living man!
> 
> *Then again, I could see Beethoven being the kind who wants an aggressive German woman to slap him on the butt during lovemaking! *


Hmm...I don't know...his music is so aggressive and powerful, so I'm assuming that he would be like that in the bedroom too. In any case, that's how he acts in my fantasies. I imagine him thrusting vigorously in time with those chords at the end of the 5th symphony! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Hmm...I don't know...his music is so aggressive and powerful, so I'm assuming that he would be like that in the bedroom too. In any case, that's how he acts in my fantasies. I imagine him thrusting vigorously in time with those chords at the end of the 5th symphony! :devil:


It's hard to say. Does aggressive music/personality mean aggressive lovemaking? I can see that being the case, but you never know! Who is the most delicate composer you've had fantasies about and who is the most aggressive? Is Beethoven the most aggressive? I'd imagine that Tchaikovsky would have to be aggressive due to the nature of the back door.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It's hard to say. Does aggressive music/personality mean aggressive lovemaking? I can see that being the case, but you never know! Who is the most delicate composer you've had fantasies about and who is the most aggressive? Is Beethoven the most aggressive? I'd imagine that Tchaikovsky would have to be aggressive due to the nature of the back door.


That's a good question about the most delicate composer. I'd have to say that it's a three-way tie between Mozart, Chopin and Debussy (but not at the same time!:lol Even then, I don't imagine myself taking charge. I imagine that he and I would both be gentle and sensual, with nobody taking a clear-cut leadership position.

Beethoven is probably the most aggressive. Liszt is pretty aggressive too, with his fiery virtuosity and flamboyant personality. I can definitely imagine him throwing me down and driving me crazy with his virtuosic fingers (including the 11th finger)! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> That's a good question about the most delicate composer. I'd have to say that it's a three-way tie between Mozart, Chopin and Debussy (but not at the same time!:lol Even then, I don't imagine myself taking charge. I imagine that he and I would both be gentle and sensual, with nobody taking a clear-cut leadership position.
> 
> Beethoven is probably the most aggressive. Liszt is pretty aggressive too, with his fiery virtuosity and flamboyant personality. I can definitely imagine him throwing me down and driving me crazy with his virtuosic fingers (including the 11th finger)! :devil:


Debussy actually seems like he might have been the aggressive type. Mozart also seems like he might have wanted it rough! Chopin was probably the delicate flower though! It's hard to say and it isn't something I think about frequently.  In your fantasies, do you get a sense of Liszt's experience in the sack compared to a rookie/novice like Beethoven? Or do you assume Beethoven would have known what to do regardless? :lol:

What odd discussions we have sometimes! Okay, most of the time! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Debussy actually seems like he might have been the aggressive type. Mozart also seems like he might have wanted it rough! Chopin was probably the delicate flower though! It's hard to say and it isn't something I think about frequently.  In your fantasies, do you get a sense of Liszt's experience in the sack compared to a rookie/novice like Beethoven? Or do you assume Beethoven would have known what to do regardless? :lol:
> 
> What odd discussions we have sometimes! Okay, most of the time! :devil:


In my imagination, Debussy is usually tender and sensual in bed (and so is Mozart, to some extent). I'm basing these assumptions on their musical styles. That's probably a fallacious form of reasoning, but it brings me satisfaction anyway! :lol:

Yes, I do imagine that Liszt would be a smoother lover than Beethoven. I picture Beethoven as being rough and maybe a bit clumsy in bed - but not in an awkward way. In my fantasies, he's always supremely confident despite his lack of sexual experience. His music is often filled with a sense of confidence, even arrogance, and I assume that this would translate into a confident bedroom performance! (Again, I'm positing a - perhaps false - equivalence between musical and sexual styles.)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> In my imagination, Debussy is usually tender and sensual in bed (and so is Mozart, to some extent). I'm basing these assumptions on their musical styles. That's probably a fallacious form of reasoning, but it brings me satisfaction anyway! :lol:
> 
> Yes, I do imagine that Liszt would be a smoother lover than Beethoven. I picture Beethoven as being rough and maybe a bit clumsy in bed - but not in an awkward way. In my fantasies, he's always supremely confident despite his lack of sexual experience. His music is often filled with a sense of confidence, even arrogance, and I assume that this would translate into a confident bedroom performance! (Again, I'm positing a - perhaps false - equivalence between musical and sexual styles.)


So you never have to go through the walk-through with Beethoven where you have to explain to him what goes where? Or bring the banana out so he can practice proper latex use? :lol:

Is Haydn some kind of prankster in the sack? Any odd surprises with Papa Haydn?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So you never have to go through the walk-through with Beethoven where you have to explain to him what goes where? Or bring the banana out so he can practice proper latex use? :lol:
> 
> Is Haydn some kind of prankster in the sack? Any odd surprises with Papa Haydn?


No, there's never any need for a walk-through. I assume that he's had at least a few previous partners...his diaries sometimes hinted at visits to whorehouses (although Schindler purged most of those references). :lol:

You are absolutely correct about Haydn! In keeping with my usual practice, where I infer a composer's bedroom style from his musical style, I do imagine that he would be a prankster in bed. He might unexpectedly "withdraw" himself and wave it around, while singing a silly song! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No, there's never any need for a walk-through. I assume that he's had at least a few previous partners...his diaries sometimes hinted at visits to whorehouses (although Schindler purged most of those references). :lol:
> 
> You are absolutely correct about Haydn! In keeping with my usual practice, where I infer a composer's bedroom style from his musical style, *I do imagine that he would be a prankster in bed. He might unexpectedly "withdraw" himself and wave it around, while singing a silly song! *:lol:


Ahh, he sounds like a Klassik then! :devil: He's always the entertainer!

Could you imagine being a prostitute who gets Beethoven or Ravel (ok, I have a feeling you've thought about this already :lol? Normally you get some dirty guys (well, not that Beethoven wasn't), but now you get someone really famous? Then again, Ravel probably went to nice brothels. It's hard to say.

Do you ever have thoughts about Carl Ditters von Dittersdorf? Do you sigh out his name? "Oooh Ditters von Dittersdorf!" 

Who is the best Baroque composer in the sack? Bach? He certainly seemed to know what he was doing.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Ahh, he sounds like a Klassik then! :devil: He's always the entertainer!
> 
> Could you imagine being a prostitute who gets Beethoven or Ravel (ok, I have a feeling you've thought about this already :lol? Normally you get some dirty guys (well, not that Beethoven wasn't), but now you get someone really famous? Then again, Ravel probably went to nice brothels. It's hard to say.
> 
> Do you ever have thoughts about Carl Ditters von Dittersdorf? Do you sigh out his name? "Oooh Ditters von Dittersdorf!"
> 
> Who is the best Baroque composer in the sack? Bach? He certainly seemed to know what he was doing.


Yes, I have fantasized about being a prostitute. How did you know? :devil: It sure would be exciting to get a customer like Beethoven or Ravel! I would definitely give Beethoven as many freebies as he wanted!

Ditters von Dittersdorf is an amazing name, but he doesn't turn me on. He's not enough of a genius. A cool name isn't enough to make Bettina spread her legs! (I've picked up your habit of using the third person...):lol:

Bach probably is the most skillful lover, but he doesn't turn me on as much as some of the others. It's probably because most of his music isn't dramatic and emotional enough for my tastes (although some of his organ pieces are pretty powerful).


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, I have fantasized about being a prostitute. How did you know? :devil: It sure would be exciting to get a customer like Beethoven or Ravel! I would definitely give Beethoven as many freebies as he wanted!
> 
> Ditters von Dittersdorf is an amazing name, but he doesn't turn me on. He's not enough of a genius. A cool name isn't enough to make Bettina spread her legs! (*I've picked up your habit of using the third person...*)
> 
> Bach probably is the most skillful lover, but he doesn't turn me on as much as some of the others. It's probably because most of his music isn't dramatic and emotional enough for my tastes (although some of his organ pieces are pretty powerful).


Like Klassik, you've now moved in the realm of true greatness! Congratulations! :trp:

Yeah, I'm not surprised that you've fantasized about being a prostitute! I'm sure you only fantasize about Beethoven, Ravel, and company, and not about some random German farmer named Hans who smells like Beethoven! 

I actually like Carl Ditters von Dittersdorf's music, but he does get lost in the mix. What about Hummel's hummer? Does that get you to spread your legs? 

I don't know if dramatic is the right word, but there's some sort of emotional quality with Bach (and other great Baroque composers, certainly Bach isn't the only one) that almost makes me want to spread my legs! Of course, I'll spare STI and discontinue talking about my spread legs right now! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

I've fantasized about being a multi-paragraph poster, but then I gaze at encyclopedic posts of the pseudo-intellectuals, who are really, only legends in their own minds, and I thankfully remain a pithy poster.


----------



## Vaneyes

Fake, real, surreal, unreal, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...736e4b02e9bdb0cc0df?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> Like Klassik, you've now moved in the realm of true greatness! Congratulations! :trp:
> 
> Yeah, I'm not surprised that you've fantasized about being a prostitute! I'm sure you only fantasize about Beethoven, Ravel, and company, and not about some random German farmer named Hans who smells like Beethoven!
> 
> I actually like Carl Ditters von Dittersdorf's music, but he does get lost in the mix. What about Hummel's hummer? Does that get you to spread your legs?
> 
> I don't know if dramatic is the right word, but there's some sort of emotional quality with Bach (and other great Baroque composers, certainly Bach isn't the only one) that almost makes me want to spread my legs! Of course, I'll spare STI and discontinue talking about my spread legs right now! :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

'Tis a small, small world.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Like Klassik, you've now moved in the realm of true greatness! Congratulations! :trp:
> 
> Yeah, I'm not surprised that you've fantasized about being a prostitute! I'm sure you only fantasize about Beethoven, Ravel, and company, and not about some random German farmer named Hans who smells like Beethoven!
> 
> I actually like Carl Ditters von Dittersdorf's music, but he does get lost in the mix. What about Hummel's hummer? Does that get you to spread your legs?
> 
> I don't know if dramatic is the right word, but there's some sort of emotional quality with Bach (and other great Baroque composers, certainly Bach isn't the only one) that almost makes me want to spread my legs! Of course, I'll spare STI and discontinue talking about my spread legs right now! :lol:


I like Hummel's music, but I wouldn't sleep with him. His music isn't great enough for my (absurdly) high standards! Also, he's not famous enough - I only go for the most canonical composers. That's one of the best things about my fantasy-based sexual orientation - I can go for men who are WAY out of my league. When I retreat into my fantasy world, I'm able to pretend that many of the greatest geniuses in history would have fallen in love with me (I think the psychiatric diagnosis for that would be Delusions of Grandeur!) :lol: :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Polovetsian Dances?

I just mixed some hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide and gave it to my dog, Polovetsian, to see if it helps his dances.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I like Hummel's music, but I wouldn't sleep with him. His music isn't great enough for my (absurdly) high standards! Also, he's not famous enough - I only go for the most canonical composers. That's one of the best things about my fantasy-based sexual orientation - *I can go for men who are WAY out of my league*. When I retreat into my fantasy world, I'm able to pretend that many of the greatest geniuses in history would have fallen in love with me (I think the psychiatric diagnosis for that would be Delusions of Grandeur!) :lol:


They were geniuses, but many of them could not figure out women. Well, non-prostitute women at least. Does that say more about them or about women in general? :lol:

Beautiful women think I have such high standards that they're actually afraid of sleeping with me! :angel: Well, at least I tell that to myself in my fantasy world! It may or may not actually reflect reality! 



hpowders said:


> Polovetsian Dances?
> 
> I just mixed some hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide and gave it to my dog, Polovetsian, to see if it helps his dances.


Mixing acids and bases again, huh h? Well, what could possibly go wrong? Would your dog explode like a hot dog in the microwave? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

STI: Classical composers who have a lot of smegma, just curious? 

I'm going with Schubert. He probably didn't wash down there very often! 

BTW, the smegma entry on Wikipedia is certainly NSFW. Just an FYI. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Poll: Should every poster with 15,000 posts or greater have Obamacare Cadillac health care policies paid for in full by Talk Classical, since if they would leave, Talk Classical will simply fall apart?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> They were geniuses, but many of them could not figure out women. Well, non-prostitute women at least. Does that say more about them or about women in general? :lol:
> 
> Beautiful women think I have such high standards that they're actually afraid of sleeping with me! :angel: Well, at least I tell that to myself in my fantasy world! It may or may not actually reflect reality!
> 
> Mixing acids and bases again, huh h? Well, what could possibly go wrong? Would your dog explode like a hot dog in the microwave? :lol:


Yes. The most exciting thing in my life is mixing chemicals to see what could happen. Last time, I created a synthetic sock-like material.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Poll: Should every poster with 15,000 posts or greater have Obamacare Cadillac health care policies paid for in full by Talk Classical, since if they would leave, Talk Classical will simply fall apart?


Nope. I don't want my premium membership money going towards your little blue pills! 



hpowders said:


> Yes. The most exciting thing in my life is mixing chemicals to see what could happen. Last time, I created a synthetic sock-like material.


Wow, that sounds great! Are you the latex man then? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Nope. I don't want my premium membership money going towards your little blue pills!
> 
> Wow, that sounds great! Are you the latex man then? :lol:


Nah! I'm thinking migraine pills for reading/posting on the Wagner threads with all the "pseudos".

It actually smelled like fish: sock-eye salmon, I guess.


----------



## hpowders

MENSA-rate the most bloody awful composers of all time.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Nah! I'm thinking migraine pills for reading/posting on the Wagner threads with all the "pseudos".
> 
> It actually smelled like fish: sock-eye salmon, I guess.


Well, I think pseudoephedrine can be used to stay awake. You might need that for the Wagner threads! 

Sock-eye salmon, huh? I was thinking that it smells more like tuna. What is the pH for _that_ substance, anyway? Just curious. Got any litmus paper? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

This site too slow. Ri-dick-ulous. Every freakin' weekend!!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, I think pseudoephedrine can be used to stay awake. You might need that for the Wagner threads!
> 
> Sock-eye salmon, huh? I was thinking that it smells more like tuna. What is the pH for _that_ substance, anyway? Just curious. Got any litmus paper? :lol:


7.8, slightly basic.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Fuuu cccc kk a duuu cc k its slow here


----------



## hpowders

To the TC management:

You want me to leave, just ask. I can fill in the time.

But don't attempt to paralyze me to death by ruining my timing!!!

Fix the damn site!!! Every freakin' weekend, it's being attacked!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> 7.8, slightly basic.


Well, there's nothing basic about my tuna, that's for sure! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

I forgot. It must be the 10 billion classical music lovers throughout the free world clamoring to post that's slowing things down.


----------



## Klassik

Since TC is so slow, I looked for entertainment elsewhere. This led to this...

STI: Majora or minora labia?

The Wikipedia entry for labia is REALLY NSFW!  It's so NSFW that I won't even link to it here, but it's hilarious! I like how they have a token minority in the little mosaic at the top! :lol: Of course, I'm only looking at this for scientific purposes! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Since TC is so slow, I looked for entertainment elsewhere. This led to this...
> 
> STI: Majora or minora labia?
> 
> The Wikipedia entry for labia is REALLY NSFW!  It's so NSFW that I won't even link to it here, but it's hilarious! I like how they have a token minority in the little mosaic at the top! :lol: Of course, I'm only looking at this for scientific purposes! :devil:


Latin was never my thing since the repressed nun ruled my right hand.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Since TC is so slow, I looked for entertainment elsewhere. This led to this...
> 
> STI: Majora or minora labia?
> 
> The Wikipedia entry for labia is REALLY NSFW!  It's so NSFW that I won't even link to it here, but it's hilarious! I like how they have a token minority in the little mosaic at the top! :lol: Of course, I'm only looking at this for scientific purposes! :devil:


I usually concentrate on the minor labia because that area is more sensitive and responsive. But maybe I should try to match it with the piece I'm hearing, depending on whether the piece is in a major or minor key. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Latin was never my thing since the repressed nun ruled my right hand.


A man must become ambidextrous for such things! :lol:

The Wikipedia page for labia leads to me to believe that what happens at the gynecologist does not always stay at the gynecologist!  Either that or there are a lot of women who like to model for Wikipedia! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> A man must become ambidextrous for such things! :lol:
> 
> The Wikipedia page for labia leads to me to believe that what happens at the gynecologist does not always stay at the gynecologist!  Either that or there are a lot of women who like to model for Wikipedia! :lol:


Look for the union labia..... :trp:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I usually concentrate on the minor labia because that area is more sensitive and responsive. But maybe I should try to match it with the piece I'm hearing, depending on whether the piece is in a major or minor key. :lol:


Well, it would make sense, wouldn't it? I'm guessing you'll only be listening to minor key works from now on! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Look for the union labia..... :trp:


Teamsters approved labia only? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

Where can I find a recording of Variations on $$$?


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Help needed:
> 
> Where can I find a recording of Variations on $$$?


The *Gold*berg Variations.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Help needed:
> 
> Where can I find a recording of Variations on $$$?


I have it. U pay Bitcoin.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> The *Gold*berg Variations.


Why, that's ad-*or*-able!!!


----------



## hpowders

Novice Wagner thread posters: A survival game.


----------



## hpowders

TC Grammar Department: Conjugating verbs, intensive 6 week course.

Post no. 1: Is there more TC courses like this?

Post no. 2: Is it better to conjugate herb or just smoke it in a water pipe?


----------



## Klassik

STI: Rising Cost of Earplugs Forcing Me Out Of Opera


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

how in bad taste one has to be to start yet another poll'vs' poll vs' poll vs' poll?


----------



## hpowders

Early Saturday morning favorite:

1. Bruckner Symphony No. 2. 3%

2. Mahler Symphony No. 8. 5%

3. Stravinsky Agon. 1%

4. Sleeping late. 91%

Please vote and break the tie!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> TC Grammar Department: Conjugating verbs, intensive 6 week course.
> 
> Post no. 1: Is there more TC courses like this?
> 
> *Post no. 2: Is it better to conjugate herb or just smoke it in a water pipe?*


In your experience, Mr. Bong, what is the best procedure? 



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> how in bad taste one has to be to start yet another poll'vs' poll vs' poll vs' poll?


We need a poll about this!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> In you experience, Mr. Bong, what is the best procedure?
> 
> We need a poll about this!


But the politburo has determined that polls are now obsolete.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I like Hummel's music, but I wouldn't sleep with him. His music isn't great enough for my (absurdly) high standards! Also, he's not famous enough - I only go for the most canonical composers. That's one of the best things about my fantasy-based sexual orientation - I can go for men who are WAY out of my league. When I retreat into my fantasy world, I'm able to pretend that many of the greatest geniuses in history would have fallen in love with me (I think the psychiatric diagnosis for that would be Delusions of Grandeur!) :lol: :lol:


F a s c i n a t i n g !


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your Favourite North Korean composer


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Henri Herz (1803 - 1888) - Cycled a lot


----------



## Vaneyes

Alone, one, single, me first, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> STI: Rising Cost of Earplugs Forcing Me Out Of Opera


*"But the cough drops are free."

*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Henri Herz (1803 - 1888) - Liked Mustang cars alot*


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Look for the union labia..... :trp:


*
"And keep me outta this."

*


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Your Favourite North Korean composer


Min yo mannaz, Concerto for large projectile and forced to perform in C Major, orchestra.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> *
> "And keep me outta this."
> 
> *


I want a Clark Bar!!


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


> Alone, one, single, me first, other, don't know, don't care.
> 
> Related:


You know you're bad when even the Australians know how bad you are! 



Vaneyes said:


> *"But the cough drops are free."
> 
> *


That's cheaper, but I don't think that'll stop the horrors of opera! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> *"But the cough drops are free."
> 
> *


She's happy 'cause she's slowing down TC every freakin' weekend!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> She's happy 'cause she's slowing down TC every freakin' weekend!!


She works for Kim Jong un


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> She works for Kim Jong un


I prefer Kim Novak. Less volatile, with room to grow.


----------



## Vaneyes

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> She works for Kim Jong un


And also...


----------



## hpowders

The Melody of the day is:

Melodi Burnsbra!!


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> And also...


"So, do I pass to the left guard in the paint...."


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


> *"But the cough drops are free."
> 
> *


Isn't that Bettina trying to look attractive to Beethoven? What you can't see is her foam finger:










Here's my foam finger protector for my 11th finger:


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> I prefer Kim Novak. Less volatile, with room to grow.


Not sure.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> And also...


Yeah, all the smartest and brightest...............................


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> And also...


----------



## hpowders

TC Poll:

Anybody ever get schmachtend on the rear end?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> TC Poll:
> 
> Anybody ever get schmachtend on the rear end?


To quote comrade, "None of your business!" :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Favorite American composer held captive by North Korea?


----------



## hpowders

Why was Mozart denied Mensa membership? Was Salieri on the selection committee?

I just want to know why!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Why was Mozart denied Mensa membership? Was Salieri on the selection committee?
> 
> I just want to know why!!


It's because he was a mason!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> It's because he was a mason!


Thanks, Perry!


----------



## hpowders

If Dennis Rodman is "De Bomb", could he reach Alaska anytime soon?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Thanks, Perry!


I prefer Matlock, actually.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I prefer Matlock, actually.


Opie's available.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Opie's available.


What about Goober Pyle?


----------



## hpowders

Pay Per View:

Mozart attempts to break the 21st century listening chain.

Exclusive. No taped repeats. Bitcoin.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Pay Per View:
> 
> Mozart attempts to break the 21st century listening chain.
> 
> Exclusive. No taped repeats. Bitcoin.


I thought Mozart was already on Pay-Per-View making scheiße videos? Or are we talking about the same videos?


----------



## Klassik

How can a New York Football Giants fan not like Bach? How is this possible?  I'm in a state of shock right now. The Giants are all about class. They don't have cheerleaders, they're too classy for that. They're the harpsichord of the NFL. Not loud, but classy champions. I don't get it. I'm just dumbfounded right now.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

What they not on Strike in sympany with the multimillion dollar a year Aussie Cricketers ???

http://www.cricket.com.au/news/aust...arke-warner-smith-faulkner-maxwell/2015-02-17

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/c...r/news-story/57c8e3d107048d95a025f48de9cfe6d9


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What they not on Strike in sympany with the multimillion dollar a year Aussie Cricketers ???
> 
> http://www.cricket.com.au/news/aust...arke-warner-smith-faulkner-maxwell/2015-02-17
> 
> http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/c...r/news-story/57c8e3d107048d95a025f48de9cfe6d9


They're American football players. They bash their heads in and stuff. They're too dumb to realize how underpaid they are! :lol: But, seriously, it's amazing how much less some of the top football players get compared to top baseball and basketball players given how much more popular football is over those sports. I know there's more players in football, but star players are still star players.


----------



## Vaneyes

Bible, Farmers' Almanac, MAD, Reader's Digest, Car and Driver, Hustler, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


> Bible, Farmers' Almanac, MAD, Reader's Digest, Car and Driver, Hustler, other, don't know, don't care.


Now there's a magazine cover that would make Mozart proud! I wonder if most people will read it on the toilet?

Instead of coffee table books about coffee tables, there should be more toilet books about toilets and toilet activities. Speaking of which, do they still publish Playboy? :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

When the king died he was all alone. Some say when he died, he was sitting on his throne...("Elvis is dead"-Living Colour)


----------



## Vaneyes

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> When the king died he was all alone. Some say when he died, he was sitting on his throne...("Elvis is dead"-Living Colour)



















"I found Elvis on the bathroom floor and his legs were bent. The upper part of his chest and shoulders touched the ground, and his head was slightly turned to the left with his cheek resting on the floor. I gently raised one eyelid. His eye was staring straight ahead." - Ginger Alden


----------



## Klassik

STI: How strong have your arms become due to your love of classical music?


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> STI: How strong have your arms become due to your love of classical music?


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


>


He's got the right hand grip, but it needs to be below the belt line if he wants a tuna sandwich!


----------



## Vaneyes

Smoke, fog, mist, reflection, illusion, ghost, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/10/politics/donald-trump-russia/index.html


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> He's got the right hand grip, but it needs to be below the belt line if he wants a tuna sandwich!


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


>


When buying one, yes. When making one at home, it's more like the arousal, the pleasure, and then finally remorse when you see the mess. :lol:


----------



## arpeggio

If your side wins a poll what do you expect as a prize?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Bible, Farmers' Almanac, MAD, Reader's Digest, Car and Driver, Hustler, other, don't know, don't care.


Aussie version - sadly long out of print


----------



## millionrainbows

My advice: make your tuna sandwiches using GOOD tuna, no compromise! 
My recommendation is Star Kist solid white albacore packed in water, in the can with the white lid.
Open can completely, so the lid is free-floating, and use it as a "compress" to remove as much water as possible. 
Use dill or sweet relish, as desired, and onion if desired. 
You can use green onion as well. 
Celery if desired; make sure it is fresh, crisp, and hydrated, not rubbery.
For a variation, add some small chunks of apple (skin off).
Make the sandwich on good, fresh bread. This can be white or multi-grain. Cut the sandwich in half.
Serve with olives on the side, some cherry tomatoes, and potato chips.

Take your vitamin.


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Aussie version - sadly long out of print


Bush kids? Haven't we had enough of them? You can keep them in Australia! 



millionrainbows said:


> My advice: make your tuna sandwiches using GOOD tuna, no compromise!
> My recommendation is Star Kist solid white albacore packed in water, in the can with the white lid.
> Open can completely, so the lid is free-floating, and use it as a "compress" to remove as much water as possible.
> Use dill or sweet relish, as desired, and onion if desired.
> You can use green onion as well.
> *Celery if desired; make sure it is fresh, crisp, and hydrated, not rubbery.*
> For a variation, add some small chunks of apple (skin off).
> Make the sandwich on good, fresh bread. This can be white or multi-grain. Cut the sandwich in half.
> Serve with olives on the side, some cherry tomatoes, and potato chips.
> 
> Take your vitamin.


I've heard that celery makes "it" taste bad, but I've also heard the opposite. Anyone have insights into this pressing matter? 

As for the vitamin line, that's what I always say, but it doesn't seem to take me very far!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Bush kids? Haven't we had enough of them? You can keep them in Australia!


Sometimes they escape the Zoo - soorry


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Morris Major or minor

*


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sometimes they escape the Zoo - soorry


Bush kids: The naturalist of natural child birth methods!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Bush kids: The naturalist of natural child birth methods!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Ursa major or ursa minor? Big bear or little bear?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## hpowders

What can we on TC do to make people hate Mahler who already like the music?

Post no. 1: I have an idea. Let's tear the music apart with pseudo-analysis as to what the correct Mahler performance practice should be!!!! Nobody will like it after that. Guaranteed!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> What can we on TC do to make people hate Mahler who already like the music?
> 
> Post no. 1: I have an idea. Let's tear the music apart with pseudo-analysis as to what the correct Mahler performance practice should be!!!! Nobody will like it after that. Guaranteed!


I like Mahler's symphonies 1 & 5, but I feel guilty for doing so. I feel that a composer who can't get a stiffy isn't worthy of respect. Good libido should be a requirement for any composer, male or female.

:devil:


----------



## hpowders

Should TC be re-booted to try and get rid of the hacking?

Why not try? Wozz the eck?


----------



## Klassik

STI: Iannis Xenakis - recommendations? 

Oh, wait. That's the actual thread title!  In that case...

STI: Michael Bolton - recommendations?


----------



## Portamento

Klassik said:


> STI: Iannis Xenakis - recommendations?
> 
> Oh, wait. That's the actual thread title!  In that case...
> 
> STI: Michael Bolton - recommendations?


Oh come on! He's not _that _bad...


----------



## Portamento

The worst thread idea.


----------



## Portamento

Is Panera Bread really a fast food restaurant (and how does Beethoven fit in)?


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> Oh come on! He's not _that _bad...


I've heard better...


----------



## Bettina

i like music said:


> The worst thread idea.


Bettina's sexual activities with dead men.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Bettina's sexual activities with dead men.


That thread has 19,109 replies so far. It can't be that bad!


----------



## Portamento

Klassik said:


> I've heard better...


I've heard worse... *cough* *cough* Lachenmann, Ferneyhough


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> I've heard worse... *cough* *cough* Lachenmann, Ferneyhough


Well, if he's better than those legends...


----------



## Portamento

You guys need to widen your horizons! I prescribe Schnittke's Choir Concerto and Berio's Sinfonia.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> That thread has 19,109 replies so far. It can't be that bad!


It just goes to show that TC members are perverts! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> You guys need to widen your horizons! I prescribe Schnittke's Choir Concerto and Berio's Sinfonia.


I listened to a Neil Diamond CD recently. Haven't I suffered enough lately?


----------



## Portamento

Bettina said:


> It just goes to show that TC members are perverts! :lol:


I was so innocent before I joined TC... reminds me of when I entered middle school....


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It just goes to show that TC members are perverts! :lol:


Well, it has mainly been hpowders, Eddie, you, and myself. We're just super perverts! :trp:


----------



## Portamento

Klassik said:


> I listened to a Neil Diamond CD recently. Haven't I suffered enough lately?


Aww, give the old man a break. He had that one good album around 40 years ago...


----------



## hpowders

The ultimate face-off: From the following list of 3017 composers, from Renaissance to 21st century, compare each to Schoenberg.

(Schoenberg has to lose at least to one of 'em!! Which will confirm to me that Schoenberg sucks!)


----------



## Portamento

Just a question: How many posts you guys have in this thread??


----------



## Portamento

hpowders said:


> The ultimate face-off: From the following list of 3017 composers, from Renaissance to 21st century, compare each to Schoenberg.
> 
> (Schoenberg has to lose at least to one of 'em!! Which will confirm to me that Schoenberg sucks!)


Isn't that ArtMusic's job?


----------



## hpowders

i like music said:


> Isn't that ArtMusic's job?


We'll see. He's 3007 composer short. Let's see what tomorrow brings.


----------



## hpowders

i like music said:


> Just a question: How many posts you guys have in this thread??


Take "a lot" and then cube it.


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> Just a question: How many posts you guys have in this thread??


A lot! I probably have more posts in this thread than I do on the rest of the forum combined! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> A lot! I probably have more posts in this thread than I do on the rest of the forum combined! :lol:


Because you have pseudo-intellectual-forum-phobia.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Because you have pseudo-intellectual-forum-phobia.


This is quite true. I only talk to the real intellectuals! They're here on STI!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> This is quite true. I only talk to the real intellectuals! They're here on STI!


ON STI, nobody tells you to "come Bach after you have done your proper homework on the life and times of Wagner".


----------



## Portamento

I just did some major charity work.  Feel free to invade it!

http://www.talkclassical.com/354-stupid-little-kids.html


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> ON STI, nobody tells you to "come Bach after you have done your proper homework on the life and times of Wagner".


Well, I did tell Klassik to come back after he had done his proper homework on Neil Diamond. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Well, I did tell Klassik to come back after he had done his proper homework on Neil Diamond. :lol:


He hasn't. Break up.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> He hasn't. Break up.


I broke up with Klassik as soon as I found out that he's alive. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Well, I did tell Klassik to come back after he had done his proper homework on Neil Diamond. :lol:


I did the homework too! After my review, Bettina said that she'd never taste my corncob!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I broke up with Klassik as soon as I found out that he's alive. :lol:


Did you think I was a dead man when you were flirting with me? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I broke up with Klassik as soon as I found out that he's alive. :lol:


At least you are consistent. Pathetic that he still thinks he has a chance, being alive like that. What a turn off!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Did you think I was a dead man when you were flirting with me? :lol:


It's my default assumption: dead until proven alive.


----------



## Portamento

Klassik said:


> I did the homework too! After my review, Bettina said that she'd never taste my corncob!


The mods would allow curse words if they took a look at this thread...


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Did you think I was a dead man when you were flirting with me? :lol:


She coulda been posting to your "estate". Big mistake revealing you are alive. How could you?


----------



## Bettina

i like music said:


> The mods would allow curse words if they took a look at this thread...


Um, excuse me? Your dirty mind is showing! Klassik invited me to a barbecue and I told him that I didn't like grilled corn.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It's my default assumption: dead until proven alive.


Well, maybe I really am dead! Maybe I am Beethoven here to do you service! I have to go home now, maybe a big bucket will fly off a truck and do me off on the way home! Hey, why not? It almost happened on the drive in this morning! 



hpowders said:


> She coulda been posting to your "estate". Big mistake revealing you are alive. How could you?


Who knew? Who knew...


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Um, excuse me? Your dirty mind is showing! Klassik invited me to a barbecue and I told him that I didn't like grilled corn.


I have grilled cucumber, zucchini, and carrots if you'd prefer. Steamed if you wish. No baby carrots though. Sound appetizing? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I have grilled cucumber, zucchini, and carrots if you'd prefer. Steamed if you wish. No baby carrots though. Sound appetizing? :devil:


I prefer to steam the vegetables myself...using my special oven.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I prefer to steam the vegetables myself...using my special oven.


My preference is to let you steam my vegetables in your special oven! See, we have so much in common! :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I'll Passover that one


----------



## Klassik

Poll: Your favorite soap operas?

A. Genital Hospital
B. The Young and the Restless Fingers
C. Horny Days of our Lives
D. Stupid Thread Ideas (aka "All of the Above")

:devil:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'll Passover that one


Probably a good idea, Eddie. My corncob isn't kosher. It still has the husk on it!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> My preference is to let you steam my vegetables in your special oven! See, we have so much in common! :devil:


I'll gladly steam the cucumbers, zucchinis and carrots in my oven (while fantasizing about Beethoven, of course). However, I can't allow _your _"vegetable" into my oven. I have to be faithful to my dead lovers!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'll gladly steam the cucumbers, zucchinis and carrots in my oven (while fantasizing about Beethoven, of course). However, I can't allow _your _"vegetable" into my oven. I have to be faithful to my dead lovers!


But I talked to Tchaikovsky and Bernstein and both of them welcomed me over! I got the feeling like Handel wanted a taste of my vegetable too, but he was sending me mixed signals!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> But I talked to Tchaikovsky and Bernstein and both of them welcomed me over! I got the feeling like Handel wanted a taste of my vegetable too, but he was sending me mixed signals!


What?!? Are Pete and Lenny cheating on me _again_? I guess I'd better buy a strap-on to keep them interested!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> What?!? Are Pete and Lenny cheating on me _again_? I guess I'd better buy a strap-on to keep them interested!


Yeah, they'd like that! Lenny especially! He can have his breast pieces with a side of carrot cake!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, they'd like that! Lenny especially! He can have his breast pieces with a side of carrot cake!


Yeah, Lenny would probably want me to use my strap-on to penetrate his "Back Side Story." :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Poll: what would Bernstein enjoy doing with Bettina?

1. Nothing
2. He'd want her to penetrate him with a strap-on
3. He'd use his baton to penetrate her back door
4. Other (please specify)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, Lenny would probably want me to use my strap-on to penetrate his "Back Side Story." :lol:


 Maybe he'd prefer a butt plug? I wonder if anyone has ever conducted with a dildo or a butt plug? :lol:

Bernstein might prefer Dr. Young's Ideal Rectal Dilators. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Young's_Ideal_Rectal_Dilators It sounds very official!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Poll: what would Bernstein enjoy doing with Bettina?
> 
> 1. Nothing
> 2. He'd want her to penetrate him with a strap-on
> 3. He'd use his baton to penetrate her back door
> 4. Other (please specify)


Forget about what Bernstein would want, what would Bettina want? 2 or 3?

As for Bernstein, I think he'd want #2 with my patent pending strap-on water gun. Of course, I'll outsource the labor to China. It might break off in his butt! Pace yourself!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Maybe he'd prefer a butt plug? I wonder if anyone has ever conducted with a dildo or a butt plug? :lol:
> 
> Bernstein might prefer Dr. Young's Ideal Rectal Dilators. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Young's_Ideal_Rectal_Dilators It sounds very official!


A rectal dilator would work well as a baton...but it would have to be washed first! Otherwise, the music critics might say "his conducting stinks."


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Forget about what Bernstein would want, what would Bettina want? 2 or 3?
> 
> As for Bernstein, I think he'd want #2 with my patent pending strap-on water gun. Of course, I'll outsource the labor to China. It might break off in his butt! Pace yourself!


I think it might be fun to take turns...I could penetrate him and then we'd switch places. It's like when one instrument plays a melody and another instrument picks it up later in the piece.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> A rectal dilator would work well as a baton...but it would have to be washed first! Otherwise, the music critics might say "his conducting stinks."


Wikipedia has this covered on the **** "touching" page. I'd link it, but the URL will get censored! Here's the quote anyway:



> The biological function of the anus is to expel intestinal gas and feces from the body; therefore, when engaging in **** ************, hygiene is important. One may wish to cover butt plugs or other objects with a condom before insertion and then dispose of the condom afterwards. To minimize the potential transfer of germs between sexual partners, there are practices of safe sex recommended by healthcare professionals. Oral or vaginal infection may occur similarly to ****** anus-to-mouth or anilingus practices.


Condom on a sex toy? :lol:

STI: Why is Klassik reading about **** "touching?"


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think it might be fun to take turns...I could penetrate him and then we'd switch places. It's like when one instrument plays a melody and another instrument picks it up later in the piece.


Oh, ok. I don't think you'd enjoy this very much though. All of Bernstein's holes and pegs are real, but only your holes are real. You'd take it anyway? I have a feeling you'd need your fingers anyway unless you think Bernstein is as good with his hands as he is with the baton. Did he ever conduct with just his hands?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Oh, ok. I don't think you'd enjoy this very much though. All of Bernstein's holes and pegs are real, but only your holes are real. You'd take it anyway? I have a feeling you'd need your fingers anyway unless you think Bernstein is as good with his hands as he is with the baton. Did he ever conduct with just his hands?


You're right, I'd probably have to get my fingers involved in the action. Maybe I can finger myself while I'm sliding a dildo in and out of Lenny's ***. (OK, now I'm not even _trying _to use discreet, euphemistic language!) :lol: :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You're right, I'd probably have to get my fingers involved in the action. Maybe I can finger myself while I'm sliding a dildo in and out of Lenny's ***. (OK, now I'm not even _trying _to use discreet, euphemistic language!) :lol: :lol:


This sounds like more work than playing the piano! It would be right up there with holding Beethoven's ear trumpets while he thrusts. Having sex with dead people sounds like a lot of work. Well, unless you went with Liszt, but otherwise I think you'd be better off with a real person or your fingers! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> This sounds like more work than playing the piano! It would be right up there with holding Beethoven's ear trumpets while he thrusts. Having sex with dead people sounds like a lot of work. Well, unless you went with Liszt, but otherwise I think you'd be better off with a real person or your fingers! :lol:


Yes, it might be difficult to coordinate my dildo-thrusting motions with my self-touching, but the payoff is well worth the effort. Anyway, at least it's not as hard as conducting an entire orchestra...the only "instruments" that I have to conduct are the dildo and my fingers!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, it might be difficult to coordinate my dildo-thrusting motions with my self-touching, but the payoff is well worth the effort. Anyway, at least it's not as hard as conducting an entire orchestra...the only "instruments" that I have to conduct are the dildo and my fingers!


Yeah, but you'd get so involved with your fingers that you'd forget to do any dildoing (real word?)! Bernstein would walk out on you and you wouldn't even notice because you're in an orgasm!  Then again, this is pretty much your real life? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Stupid Pole Idea: If one of the great composers were to cum back from the dead, would Bettina turn them down and go with her fingers instead?

A. Yes
B. No


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, but you'd get so involved with your fingers that you'd forget to do any dildoing (real word?)! Bernstein would walk out on you and you wouldn't even notice because you're in an orgasm!  Then again, this is pretty much your real life? :lol:


Exactly! When having sex with a partner, I wouldn't even notice if he got up and left (or died!) :lol: :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Stupid Pole Idea: If one of the great composers were to cum back from the dead, would Bettina turn them down and go with her fingers instead?
> 
> A. Yes
> B. No


Good question. I'd probably give the composer a try once or twice, and then I'd go back to my trustworthy fingers! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Good question. I'd probably give the composer a try once or twice, and then I'd go back to my trustworthy fingers! :lol:


So I really wasn't dumped for a dead man, I was really dumped because you THINK your fingers are better than my corncob?

Well, your fingers are certainly cleaner after some action and won't get fatigued as quickly, I'll give you that! :lol:



Bettina said:


> Exactly! When having sex with a partner, I wouldn't even notice if he got up and left (or died!) :lol: :lol:


Has this ever happened in real life with a partner? You just took over the job?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So I really wasn't dumped for a dead man, I was really dumped because you THINK your fingers are better than my corncob?
> 
> Well, your fingers are certainly cleaner after some action and won't get fatigued as quickly, I'll give you that! :lol:
> 
> *Has this ever happened in real life with a partner? You just took over the job? *


No, it's never happened. Unfortunately, my partners always had the annoying habit of staying there the entire time! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No, it's never happened. Unfortunately, my partners always had the annoying habit of staying there the entire time! :lol:


Now, see, who would do that? I think that once the deed (or seed?) is done, the party is over. It's up to each to provide their own after-party party! 

To be honest, I'd probably just sit back and watch you go at it without the "opening act." You make it sound like it's way more erotic than any traditional act! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Now, see, who would do that? I think that once the deed (or seed?) is done, the party is over. It's up to each to provide their own after-party party!
> 
> To be honest, I'd probably just sit back and watch you go at it without the "opening act." You make it sound like it's way more erotic than any traditional act! :devil:


It's certainly more erotic for me, but you might find it frustrating to sit there and watch. Also, as I've mentioned before, some of my "words of endearment" are distinctly unsexy, involving sentences such as "Ludwig, I love your counterpoint!"


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> It's certainly more erotic for me, but you might find it frustrating to sit there and watch. Also, as I've mentioned before, some of my "words of endearment" are distinctly unsexy, involving sentences such as "Ludwig, I love your counterpoint!"


You do realize what my alternative is, right? :lol: If I'm going to do that anyway, I might as well get a good show out of it! It sure as hell beats the Sears catalog or thinking of hot women I saw at the grocery store! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> You do realize what my alternative is, right? :lol: If I'm going to do that anyway, I might as well get a good show out of it! It sure as hell beats the Sears catalog or thinking of hot women I saw at the grocery store! :devil:


I don't know...you might have trouble getting aroused if you come (so to speak) on a "Derrida night." Watching a video of an old philosopher, pontificating in circles, might not light your fire!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I don't know...you might have trouble getting aroused if you come (so to speak) on a "Derrida night." Watching a video of an old philosopher, pontificating in circles, might not light your fire!


God is dead. God remains dead. - Nietzsche
Beethoven is dead. Beethoven remains dead. - Klassik
Derrida is dead. Derrida remains dead. - Klassik

Although I would have problems with any living philosophers or country musicians you dream of! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Music is the best - Zappa


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


>


Once again, thanks for making STI that much less horny!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> God is dead. God remains dead. - Nietzsche
> Beethoven is dead. Beethoven remains dead. - Klassik
> Derrida is dead. Derrida remains dead. - Klassik
> 
> Although I would have problems with any living philosophers or country musicians you dream of! :lol:


OK, now I see how it works. You're jealous of the living guys but not of the dead ones. In that case, I'll be sure to focus exclusively on dead composers and philosophers when you come to visit. That shouldn't be a problem, because there's plenty of them to choose from! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> OK, now I see how it works. You're jealous of the living guys but not of the dead ones. In that case, I'll be sure to focus exclusively on dead composers and philosophers when you come to visit. That shouldn't be a problem, because there's plenty of them to choose from! :lol:


Yes, see, it'll work out just fine! :devil:

Jealous? Maybe. Well, I really don't want to hear country music while you do it. Unless you do it to Shania Twain, but that brings up a whole new set of questions and potential answers! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yes, see, it'll work out just fine! :devil:
> 
> Jealous? Maybe. Well, I really don't want to hear country music while you do it. *Unless you do it to Shania Twain, but that brings up a whole new set of questions and potential answers!* :lol:


I'm not attracted to Shania Twain, but I actually do consider myself bisexual and I do have crushes on some women (though they're not as intense as my crushes on men).


----------



## Bettina

Wow, TC is ridiculously slow right now. It seems like I jammed the system when I came out of the closet.! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm not attracted to Shania Twain, but I actually do consider myself bisexual and I do have crushes on some women (though they're not as intense as my crushes on men).


Hmm...are we going to get anything more than this little teaser? :devil:



Bettina said:


> Wow, TC is ridiculously slow right now. It seems like I jammed the system when I came out of the closet.! :lol:


What a terrible time for the site to go down!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Hmm...are we going to get anything more than this little teaser? :devil:
> 
> What a terrible time for the site to go down!


Amazingly enough, my female crushes are all alive! This is really embarrassing (and it takes a lot to embarrass me) but I have a crush on Emma Watson from the Harry Potter movies.  I don't know if that's creepy or funny!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Amazingly enough, my female crushes are all alive! This is really embarrassing (and it takes a lot to embarrass me) but I have a crush on Emma Watson from the Harry Potter movies.  I don't know if that's creepy or funny!


Harry Potter? Well, I have a hairy thing that looks like a pot. Ok, anyway, moving on! :lol: Do you do the same activities to thoughts of women as you do with men? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Harry Potter? Well, I have a hairy thing that looks like a pot. Ok, anyway, moving on! :lol: Do you do the same activities to thoughts of women as you do with men? :devil:


Yes, but my fantasies are different. As I've mentioned before, when I fantasize about men, I usually see myself being somewhat passive and submissive. However, when I fantasize about women, I tend to imagine myself taking a more active role in bed. Licking the carpet and so on.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, but my fantasies are different. As I've mentioned before, when I fantasize about men, I usually see myself being somewhat passive and submissive. However, when I fantasize about women, I tend to imagine myself taking a more active role in bed. Licking the carpet and so on.


Holy crap! :devil: See, you're just missing out! Maybe we have similar tastes in women!  You can "take charge," I'll watch, a good time will be had by all! I don't care if they're living! In fact, the more alive the better!

Lick the carpet, huh? You assume some of these women have bush? Are you saying you like bush?  I know it's WAY past my bedtime, but these questions must be answered! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Holy crap! :devil: See, you're just missing out! Maybe we have similar tastes in women!  You can "take charge," I'll watch, a good time will be had by all! I don't care if they're living! In fact, the more alive the better!
> 
> Lick the carpet, huh? You assume some of these women have bush? Are you saying you like bush?  I know it's WAY past my bedtime, but these questions must be answered! :devil:


I know for a fact that Emma Watson has a bush. I saw an upskirt photo of her posted on the internet (she was getting out of a car and she accidentally exposed her "area"), and she definitely had a hairy potter! :lol:

With women, just like with men, my preference is for fantasies rather than reality. I've had several real-life experiences with women, and it pretty much left me with the same impression as my heterosexual encounters: a nice experience, but solo play is better!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I know for a fact that Emma Watson has a bush. I saw an upskirt photo of her posted on the internet (she was getting out of a car and she accidentally exposed her "area"), and she definitely had a hairy potter! :lol:
> 
> With women, just like with men, my preference is for fantasies rather than reality. I've had several real-life experiences with women, and it pretty much left me with the same impression as my heterosexual encounters: a nice experience, but solo play is better!


:lol: even I don't look that closely at photos of women! Well, not usually at least!  So you do like bush? What's the best for touching yourself, clean-shaven, bush, or stubble? These are "hard-hitting" questions!

What kind of relations do you have with women? Toys? Mutual touching? You like your fingers better than someone else's?

You should write a book. I'd buy it. It'll be essential toilet reading for Klassik! :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Sexy or not, to be or not to be


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sexy or not, to be or not to be


His nose there looks like a d!ck with balls. His chin looked like balls in real life. I'm going with not sexy, but I guess Bettina has other ideas!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> :lol: even I don't look that closely at photos of women! Well, not usually at least!  So you do like bush? What's the best for touching yourself, clean-shaven, bush, or stubble? These are "hard-hitting" questions!
> 
> What kind of relations do you have with women? Toys? Mutual touching? You like your fingers better than someone else's?
> 
> You should write a book. I'd buy it. It'll be essential toilet reading for Klassik! :devil:


Clean-shaven is best for touching myself, because it gives me easier access to everything.

With women, the main act is usually cunnilingus (I hope that gets past the censors, but I think I've used that word before and it was OK). Of course, there's lots of touching involved too!

It's not so much that I like my fingers better than someone else's. It's more that I prefer to be alone with my fantasies. I enjoy getting lost inside my head (and inside my you-know-what!) :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> His nose there looks like a d!ck with balls. His chin looked like balls in real life. I'm going with not sexy, but I guess Bettina has other ideas!


Totally hot! His nose is perfect for cunnilingus (based on my previous post, it seems that this word is actually making it through the censors!)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Clean-shaven is best for touching myself, because it gives me easier access to everything.
> 
> With women, the main act is usually cunnilingus (I hope that gets past the censors, but I think I've used that word before and it was OK). Of course, there's lots of touching involved too!
> 
> It's not so much that I like my fingers better than someone else's. It's more that I prefer to be alone with my fantasies. I enjoy getting lost inside my head (and inside my you-know-what!) :lol:


As I've said before, are there better words than fellatio and cunnilingus?  So who are better at performing cunnilingus on you, men or women? I'm guessing giving it is a lot less fun than getting it? :lol:

Yeah, I guess you can go all over the place within your own head. I can see why you do what you do, I really can. Well, it's certainly an interesting world up there! Down there too! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> As I've said before, are there better words than fellatio and cunnilingus?  So who are better at performing cunnilingus on you, men or women? I'm guessing giving it is a lot less fun than getting it? :lol:
> 
> Yeah, I guess you can go all over the place within your own head. I can see why you do what you do, I really can. Well, it's certainly an interesting world up there! Down there too! :devil:


In general, women are better at giving it than men. Men sometimes tend to suck and bite too hard. Most women have a gentler way of doing it.

It's true that receiving it is the best part! But it's pretty exciting to give it too, because it's sexy when the woman moans and writhes and grabs my head...you probably know what I'm talking about.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> In general, women are better at giving it than men. Men sometimes tend to suck and bite too hard. Most women have a gentler way of doing it.
> 
> It's true that receiving it is the best part! But it's pretty exciting to give it too, because it's sexy when the woman moans and writhes and grabs my head...*you probably know what I'm talking about*.


Yeah, it is enjoyable in an odd (or at least interesting) way, but it seems that you know what you're doing better than I do! :lol: Who talks about this stuff to know whether we should do a better job? That's not a joke, that's reality!

Well, I apologize that us men suck and bite. :lol: We don't mind the sucking, but the biting!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Yeah, it is enjoyable in an odd (or at least interesting) way, but it seems that you know what you're doing better than I do! :lol: Who talks about this stuff to know whether we should do a better job? That's not a joke, that's reality!
> 
> Well, I apologize that us men suck and bite. :lol: We don't mind the sucking, but the biting!


I completely forgive men for the sucking and biting! It's difficult to give head to the opposite gender. In fact, I personally am much better at giving cunnilingus than fellatio. The fellatio thing just doesn't come naturally to me (though I'm sure that I would give it the old college try if Ludwig or Lenny came back from the dead and asked me to do it).:lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I completely forgive men for the sucking and biting! It's difficult to give head to the opposite gender. In fact, I personally am much better at giving cunnilingus than fellatio. The fellatio thing just doesn't come naturally to me (though I'm sure that I would give it the old college try if Ludwig or Lenny came back from the dead and asked me to do it).:lol:


Fellatio has to be much worse for the giver than cunnilingus. :lol: Bernstein probably wouldn't cause you any problems, but I'm guessing the gag reflex will be working overtime if you ever got Beethoven!  I'm not sure if all that coffee makes it taste any better either!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Think i should have done Schoenberg vs Trump damn damn damn foiled again


----------



## keymasher

Not sure if this would help my chances of playing like Liszt or getting killed by Inigo Montoya more, but thought this prosthetic "third thumb" was kind of cool.

https://www.theverge.com/circuitbre.../3d-printed-prosthetic-third-thumb-dani-clode


----------



## Bettina

keymasher said:


> Not sure if this would help my chances of playing like Liszt or getting killed by Inigo Montoya more, but thought this prosthetic "third thumb" was kind of cool.
> 
> https://www.theverge.com/circuitbre.../3d-printed-prosthetic-third-thumb-dani-clode


I can imagine a number of interesting uses for this prosthesis!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I can imagine a number of interesting uses for this prosthesis!


Would you really want another thumb or another finger instead? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

STI: Help! I'm a Prisoner! I'm a lesbian stuck in a man's body!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Help, I'm a rock


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Help, I'm a rock


Literally a rock or hard like a rock? :devil:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Literally. Heard the song and BECAME...


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Literally. Heard the song and BECAME...


í ¼í¾¼ âª_ Stood there boldly
Sweatin' in the sun
Felt like a million
Felt like number one
The height of summer
I'd never felt that strong
Like a rock_


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> Literally a rock or hard like a rock? :devil:


Or living under a rock?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Just like this.


----------



## Portamento

interesting.................


----------



## Portamento

Schoenberg vs. Schwarzenegger


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Wowie! My hero!


----------



## Portamento

Schoenberg vs. the 2nd Viennese School (which includes Schoenberg)


----------



## Portamento

Mozart and his posse vs. Bettina and Klassik's corncob


----------



## Klassik

i like music said:


> Schoenberg vs. Schwarzenegger


Schwarzenegger, clearly. Why? He'll be Bach.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Shats and flarps, are they for real?


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Shats and flarps, are they for real?


Shats and faps. Real things that can be done on the toilet.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

How do you öö pronounce ö the ö umlauts? Pretty tough eh?


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> How do you öö pronounce ö the ö umlauts? Pretty tough eh?


I'm not really sure about the right way, but I usually say it with an "or" sound, as if I'm pronouncing the first syllable of orgasm (my favorite word!)


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> How do you öö pronounce ö the ö umlauts? Pretty tough eh?


I don't know, but they're pretty sexy, huh? 

STI: Have you ever performed Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 31 in A fap major, Op. 110?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'm not really sure about the right way, but I usually say it with an "or" sound, as if I'm pronouncing the first syllable of orgasm (my favorite word!)


ögasm? Looks like O-gas-m. Is this a Wagner thread? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> ögasm? Looks like O-gas-m. Is this a Wagner thread? :lol:


I don't know...Wagner usually associated orgasm with death. But in a way, I guess I do too! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I don't know...Wagner usually associated orgasm with death. But in a way, I guess I do too! :lol:


Unless it invulvas Bush! Then again, some people associate Bush with death too!


----------



## Vaneyes

Milkshake, handshake, Parkinson's, coffee, other, don't care, don't know.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

I associate death with metal, meaning death metal \m/


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> I associate death with metal, meaning death metal \m/


Yeah, but what are your thoughts about dead head bangers? :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Zombie-headbangers? Heads will fly


----------



## Vaneyes

"Wonder. Should* STI *merge with *Random thoughts and discoveries that don't deserve a whole thread to themselves*?"


----------



## Vaneyes

At what volume do you listen to TC?


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


> "Wonder. Should* STI *merge with *Random thoughts and discoveries that don't deserve a whole thread to themselves*?"


Stevie Wonder? We talk about having sex with deaf people here on STI, not blind people!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Bang your head into the ground until you are forgiven.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Breaking News Trump is offered damning info on George Washington by KGB............


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Bang your head into the ground until you are forgiven.


Sounds like something Beethoven would have done! :guitar:


----------



## Vaneyes

Mule, mole, mile, Miele, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...4dae4b09b587d624b28?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Hey Bettina I've founfd you a replacement for Beethoven and he is not dead - Barry Morgan from the World of Organs thats almost an Orgasm and could be the new Bach..........


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Hey Bettina I've founfd you a replacement for Beethoven and he is not dead - Barry Morgan from the World of Organs thats almost an Orgasm and could be the new Bach..........


I saw the title of that video and actually read it as "World of Orgasms." That's what happens when you become an STI regular! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Some more of Barry-just for Bettina


----------



## Vaneyes

Season, treason, reason, unreason, off-season, postseason, midseason, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Klassik

Klassik said:


> STI: Rising Cost of Earplugs Forcing Me Out Of Opera


I just now remembered that the hotel I'll be staying at in Toronto is literally right next door to the Four Seasons Centre for the Performing Arts/Canadian Opera Company. I don't know if anything will be going on when I'm there, but I better buy some earplugs in case I'm close enough to some opera singing!


----------



## ST4

*Why must all the good TC members die in horrific car accidents? (that also happen to be filmed and broadcast on international television and Netflix for the world to see)*


----------



## ST4

*Netflix and Chill vs Chillfix and Net?*


----------



## ST4

*Watchmojo: Top Ten Classical Music Snob Cliches*

1. Hating contemporary music because there are no "nice" melodies or friendly key signatures
2. Eating ham while attending ballets
3. Thinking that one composer can be objectively above everyone else
4. Insulting composers through long articles
5. Breathing and partaking in mundane human activities yet thinking of one to be superior to the human race


----------



## ST4

Actually now that I think about it, does anyone here want to Netflix and chill? I got cheetos


----------



## Klassik

STI: Rusty spoon or Rusty trombone?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rusty_trombone (NSFW for sure!) :devil:

STI: Rusty Spoon or Rusty Kuntz (pronounced /ˈkuːnts/)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rusty_Kuntz

:lol:


----------



## ST4

Oh my Klassikal


----------



## Klassik

ST4 said:


> Oh my Klassikal


I'm counting this as a vote for the rusty trombone! :lol:


----------



## ST4

Klassik said:


> I'm counting this as a vote for the rusty trombone! :lol:


When I'm with my next woman, I'll have to try that.

(damn, did I really write that  ..oops...)

Sex is disgusting!


----------



## Klassik

ST4 said:


> When I'm with my next woman, I'll have to try that.
> 
> (damn, did I really write that  ..oops...)
> 
> Sex is disgusting!


In this case, the woman does the trying and the man is tried! 

It is disgusting even compared to other acts, but it's one way for a woman to serve someone like Tchaikovsky (not Boris) should he ever come back to life! How would he know if it's a man or woman who's behind the back door? :lol:

Then again, one would have to remember that Tchaikovsky's last moments probably contained a lot of diarrhea!


----------



## ST4

Ow, I'm not eating breakfast now


----------



## ST4

"Hello homosapien of the opposite sex, would you like to stimulate my organs?" 


Chick: "Um, no?" 


"Damn, my plan was foiled again, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!  "


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

A-Did you see that neanderthal?
B-No
A-Neither did I.


----------



## Klassik

ST4 said:


> "Hello homosapien of the opposite sex, would you like to stimulate my organs?"
> 
> Chick: "Um, no?"
> 
> "Damn, my plan was foiled again, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!  "


Klassik's Lessons from TC's Community Forum #3: You're doing it wrong if you are involving living partners. The key is to do it with dead people. Or so I've been told.


----------



## ST4

Klassik said:


> Klassik's Lessons from TC's Community Forum #3: You're doing it wrong if you are involving living partners. The key is to do it with dead people. Or so I've been told.


Semi-analysis.

Doing it with dead people: Necrophilia, there are romantic horrors about that. Which is either A. Romantic or B. Horror depending on your fetishes (vomit box goes here)

I'm just going to throw up on your whole carpet now and make Mexico pay for it :scold::scold::scold::scold:


----------



## ST4

*Poll: Would you put this in your mouth?*

1 Maybe
2 No
3 Only if it is live-streamed
4 People used to be able to put it in their mouths properly but now they are incapable 
5 Who cares


----------



## Klassik

ST4 said:


> Semi-analysis.
> 
> Doing it with dead people: Necrophilia, there are romantic horrors about that. Which is either A. Romantic or B. Horror depending on your fetishes (vomit box goes here)
> 
> I'm just going to throw up on your whole carpet now and make Mexico pay for it :scold::scold::scold::scold:


Don't analyze me, Donald. I'm just reporting what I've heard on TC.


----------



## ST4

Klassik said:


> Don't analyze me, Donald. I'm just reporting what I've heard on TC.


Geeze, what would Warner Bro's think of that? like killing of their lead character? em, that's a little insensitive to animated ducks the world round, right?


----------



## Vaneyes

Breech, brooch, peach, impeach, beach, beseech, other, don't care, don't know.


----------



## ST4

*Bleach vs Schoenberg? *


----------



## ST4

*Jesus vs Schoenberg? *


----------



## ST4

On a serious note, what *is* which all those Schoenberg threads I've seen browsing? that is one too many. If you want to talk about Schoenberg, you could go to the guestbooks or start a thread and ask a particular, original question


----------



## Klassik

ST4 said:


> *Bleach vs Schoenberg? *


Bleach. Schoenberg does not clean my toilets. Speaking of which, sometimes I put bleach in the toilet and leave it in too long. I'll take a **** in it and it makes an interesting fizzy sound. The fizzy sound is more interesting than anything I've heard from Schoenberg. It also smells like it's going to knock me out.  I have not blown up my toilet yet, but maybe that will happen one of these days.


----------



## ST4

Klassik said:


> Bleach. Schoenberg does not clean my toilets. Speaking of which, sometimes I put bleach in the toilet and leave it in too long. I'll take a **** in it and it makes an interesting fizzy sound. The fizzy sound is more interesting than anything I've heard from Schoenberg. It also smells like it's going to knock me out.  I have not blown up my toilet yet, but maybe that will happen one of these days.


Where can I buy your album?


----------



## Klassik

ST4 said:


> Where can I buy your album?


Just ask your local CD retailer for the latest erections from Klassik. BTW, Klassik also goes by "Commodore Commode."


----------



## ST4

Klassik said:


> Just ask your local CD retailer for the latest erections from Klassik. BTW, Klassik also goes by "Commodore Commode."


And it comes with a free toilet scrubbing brush? I'll take 5 CDs :tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

I've reached my magic number of 17,666, in line with my dedication to Devil Worship, which explains my posting halt.

I am and remain:

El Diablo!!! :devil::devil::devil:


----------



## Klassik

I'll eat some Devil's food rumcake in honor of hpowders.

Does your devil worship include the worshiping of menstrual fluids?

:devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I'll eat some Devil's food rumcake in honor of hpowders.
> 
> Does your devil worship include the worshiping of menstrual fluids?
> 
> :devil:


I can only post on CF. I dare not violate my "666". It's a sin.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> I've reached my magic number of 17,666, in line with my dedication to Devil Worship, which explains my posting halt.
> 
> I am and remain:
> 
> El Diablo!!! :devil::devil::devil:


I love you satan, you're my best friend :kiss:


----------



## hpowders

Sooooo....what should we talk about, now that I am trapped here for the rest of my life (if you call this living).


----------



## ST4

Klassik said:


> Does your devil worship include the worshiping of menstrual fluids?
> 
> :devil:


Why would you worship my breakfast? what kind of demented person are you


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Sooooo....what should we talk about, now that I am trapped here for the rest of my life (if you call this living).


What's the waiting room like?

Can you describe it?

What is your rough relationship with Jesus like?

What was that concert with Judas Priest and Michael Jackson like?

:tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Why would you worship my breakfast? what kind of demented person are you


Do that three meals a day and you have achieved a major triad.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Do that three meals a day and you have achieved a major triad.


Three? are you serious? I have at least 5/6, best meal in the whole damn world!


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> STI: Have you ever performed Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 31 in A fap major, Op. 110?


I'm surprised you didn't go with Piano Sonata No. 12 in A fap major, Op. 26. It even has the funeral march to represent Bettina's interest in dead people!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Sooooo....what should we talk about, now that I am trapped here for the rest of my life (if you call this living).


The Community Forum is where people live...live to talk about sleeping with dead people. The main forums are where the zombies post. Not even good zombies, just pseudointellectual zombies. 



ST4 said:


> Why would you worship my breakfast? what kind of demented person are you


I put a tampon in your breakfast. Sorry.


----------



## hpowders

Where's the TC bulletin board. I want to post a notice:

Hello posters!

My religion prohibits me from posting on the main forum. Would you consider posting exclusively on STI? I know it's a step up, but you should eventually adjust to the increased speed and original ideas.

El Diablo :devil::devil::devil:


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> I'm surprised you didn't go with Piano Sonata No. 12 in A fap major, Op. 26. It even has the funeral march to represent Bettina's interest in dead people!


Good point! That certainly sounds fap-worthy for Bettina! :devil:


----------



## ST4

Klassik said:


> I put a tampon in your breakfast. Sorry.


Meh, it wasn't used, so I turned it into a mask


----------



## hpowders

I better wait for Bettiña's advice, before I do something stupid.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Where's the TC bulletin board. I want to post a notice:
> 
> Hello posters!
> 
> My religion prohibits me from posting on the main forum. Would you consider posting exclusively on STI? I know it's a step up, but you should eventually adjust to the increased speed and original ideas.
> 
> El Diablo :devil::devil::devil:


Also changing your username to El Diablo would also be strongly advised, it's a better...business decision :angel:


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> I better wait for Bettiña's advice, before I do something stupid.


He's probably snorting cocaine on some far away island where the police can't see him (or a locker room)


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Also changing your username to El Diablo would also be strongly advised, it's a better...business decision :angel:


The fewer encounters I have with management, the better I like it. I don't want to "owe" them.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> He's probably snorting cocaine on some far away island where the police can't see him (or a locker room)


Yes....but she will be Bach. The alternative is cable news.


----------



## hpowders

Remember meeeeee!!!!!!


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Remember meeeeee!!!!!!


Hard to forget buddy!


----------



## Jacred

Klassik said:


> The Community Forum is where people live...live to talk about sleeping with dead people. The main forums are where the zombies post. Not even good zombies, just pseudointellectual zombies.


Unfortunately, posting in the main forums prevents you from dying and ascending to potential lover status. You will always have unfinished business there.



Klassik said:


> I put a tampon in your breakfast. Sorry.


Used tampon = a vampire's teabag?


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> Where's the TC bulletin board. I want to post a notice:
> 
> Hello posters!
> 
> My religion prohibits me from posting on the main forum. Would you consider posting exclusively on STI? I know it's a step up, but you should eventually adjust to the increased speed and original ideas.
> 
> El Diablo :devil::devil::devil:


My religion prohibits me from accommodating other people's religions....hey wait a minute, that actually sounds legit.


----------



## ST4

Jacred said:


> My religion prohibits me from accommodating other people's religions....hey wait a minute, that actually sounds legit.


You could make a religion out of this?


----------



## Jacred

ST4 said:


> You could make a religion out of this?


Yeah, it's called being rebellious and opposing what everyone else does.  Or it's just being close-minded about other religions besides your own.


----------



## hpowders

st4 said:


> hard to forget buddy! :d


t h  a n k s!!!!!


----------



## Vaneyes

Prey, pray, tray, fray, gray, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/12/politics/trump-prayer-photo/index.html


----------



## hpowders

Is generic classical music covered under Obamacare or must I pay full price for branded classical music?


----------



## hpowders

Which do you hate more?

1. Vaughan Williams

2. TC crashing

3. Lords a'leaping

4. Maids a'milking


----------



## Vaneyes

*"You rang, sir?"

*


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Which do you hate more?
> 
> 1. Vaughn Williams
> *
> 2. TC crashing*
> 
> 3. Lords a'leaping
> 
> 4. Maids a'milking


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Which do you hate more?
> 
> 1. Vaughn Williams
> 
> 2. TC crashing
> 
> 3. Lords a'leaping
> 
> 4. Maids a'milking


Vaughan Williams is a real bugger, sleeping with all those ladies and composing really outdated music when it was new :scold:


----------



## ST4

Jacred said:


> Yeah, it's called being rebellious and opposing what everyone else does.  Or it's just being close-minded about other religions besides your own.


----------



## Vaneyes

SR-71, H. Res. 438, MiG-29, B-52, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...e4b0a0c6f1e5517f?4b&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009


----------



## hpowders

It's great to be Bach!!!


----------



## ST4

How has your experience being Bach been Sir Powders?


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Unfortunately, posting in the main forums prevents you from dying and ascending to potential lover status. You will always have unfinished business there.


 Well, I can't have that happen! I'll have to join El Diablo then!



> Used tampon = a vampire's teabag?


Sounds about right. Or is it like getting teabagged by a vampire? Well, some people here might enjoy such things! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> How has your experience being Bach been Sir Powders?


When I was away, I was asked if I wanted to be part of a major triad, but 4 me, 2's company; 3's a crowd.


----------



## ST4

Farewell to Mr 666, you where such a nice dude, now we just got that other guy now....


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Farewell to Mr 666, you where such a nice dude, now we just got that other guy now....


My wife's Catholic. She told me if I'm right, nothing lost, but if I'm wrong, I will burn in hell.

An example of Pascal's Wager.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> My wife's Catholic. She told me if I'm right, nothing lost, but if I'm wrong, I will burn in hell.
> 
> An example of Pascal's Wager.


Interesting, have you tried that on her?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Interesting, have you tried that on her?


She's much smarter than I am.

She reads the Encyclopedia Brittáññica.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> She's much smarter than I am.
> 
> She reads the Encyclopedia Brittáññica.


:lol:

Ok, I lost my excrement on that one


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Farewell to Mr 666, you where such a nice dude, now we just got that other guy now....


There will be an 18,666....


----------



## ST4

"Listen darling, if you don't get frisky. Jesus may or may not come in here and explain to you the reason the 12 disciples hung him on the cross, to be pleasured by Mary. Darling, do you really want that awkward conversation with the man upstairs again?" :lol:


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> :lol:
> 
> Ok, I lost my excrement on that one


Thanks for the añecdotal évidence!


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> :lol:
> 
> Ok, I lost my excrement on that one


I HATE when that happens!!!


----------



## hpowders

Is music for you primarily:

1. A physical act

2. A heavy lift

3. A chain gang song

4. A substitute when you've run out of Wellbutrin


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> She's much smarter than I am.
> 
> She reads the Encyclopedia Brittáññica.


But how smart can she B? She married me, after all...


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Is music for you primarily:
> 
> 1. A physical act
> 
> 2. A heavy lift
> 
> 3. A chain gang song
> 
> 4. A substitute when you've run out of Wellbutrin


A - Physical. Good music helps me excrete a load.  A load of tuna that is! :devil:


----------



## ST4

*Gonna Have A Shower: Please Leave Notice In Comment Section If Someone Knocks At The Door. Thanks!*


----------



## Klassik

ST4 said:


> *Gonna Have A Shower: Please Leave Notice In Comment Section If Someone Knocks At The Door. Thanks!*


Front door or back door? These details are important!


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> *Gonna Have A Shower: Please Leave Notice In Comment Section If Someone Knocks At The Door. Thanks!*


I diddn't realize it was that time of the month. One of the advantages of keeping one's distance on the internet, I guess.


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> Is music for you primarily:
> 
> 1. A physical act
> 
> 2. A heavy lift
> *
> 3. A chain gang song*
> 
> 4. A substitute when you've run out of Wellbutrin


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> A - Physical. Good music helps me excrete a load.  A load of tuna that is! :devil:


Sounds like a mixed message. Perhaps the Encyclopedia Britáññica can explain it to me.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


>


She wasn't there when I was there, but I did get Paul Muni's autograph.


----------



## Klassik

STI: If Bettina can make dead people live again, why can't she turn gay men straight? 

It seems like she'd be better at the latter than the former! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> STI: If Bettina can make dead people live again, why can't she turn gay men straight?
> 
> It seems like she'd be better at the latter than the former! :devil:


Better she should first practice on making the crook-ed, straight. See if she can Handel that first.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Who is your favourite Troll? Lets have a poll..........


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Better she should first practice on making the crook-ed, straight. See if she can Handel that first.


Mine leans a little to the left.  Do you think she could straighten it out for me? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Mine leans a little to the left.  Do you think she could straighten it out for me? :lol:


Probably from watching MSNBC 24/7. Mine pulls strongly to the right....at least that's what Waldstein tells me....from a distance, observing me.


----------



## Vaneyes

Klassik said:


> Front door or back door? These details are important!


----------



## Vaneyes

hpowders said:


> She wasn't there when I was there, but I did get Paul Muni's autograph.


Newman's autograph?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Who is your favourite Troll? Lets have a poll..........


The dude who represents the Soviet Politboro, who nobody can disagree with.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


> Newman's autograph?


Paul Muni. 1930's.


----------



## hpowders

Vaneyes said:


>


Ah!! The glory days....when my father used to get the bad report from my mom....nothing like the crisp crack of a razor strap across bare, quivering flesh!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Probably from watching MSNBC 24/7. Mine pulls strongly to the right....at least that's what Waldstein tells me....from a distance, observing me.


You get a boner watching cable news?  I thought you had more class than that! At least settle for a Dan Rather type or something! 



Vaneyes said:


>


I know it's hip to be square, but who seriously has square hips like that? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You get a boner watching cable news?  I thought you had more class than that! At least settle for a Dan Rather type or something!
> 
> I know it's hip to be square, but who seriously has square hips like that? :lol:


Well, many of the anchors are beautiful blondes. Unfortunately, according to a Fox News poll, none like Schoenberg's music.


----------



## hpowders

Which do you favor?

1. Poppy seeds

2. Popsicles


----------



## hpowders

TC Lost & Found Department:

Mendelssohn's son got lost at Costco!

Anyone found Mendelssohn's Elijah?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Which do you favor?
> 
> 1. Poppy seeds
> 
> 2. Popsicles


(x)Poppy Corn .......................


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> (x)Poppy Corn .......................


I like the mixture of crack/corn, but since I can't get it anymore, I simply don't care.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Well, many of the anchors are beautiful blondes. Unfortunately, according to a Fox News poll, none like Schoenberg's music.


To me, there was no finer newsman than Marvin Zindler. You may not know who I am talking about, but the movie/play _The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas_ was about him. :lol:










https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_Zindler


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> (x)Poppy Corn .......................


True story: I once had popcorn on the cob. Who wants a taste? :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Reviving Dead Pianists - A Bettina Game


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Reviving Dead Pianists - A Bettina Game


She wants Glenn Gould's hummer?


----------



## JeffD

Vaneyes said:


>


Those locks are not all that strong. Just sayin....


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


>


Yeah but that looks more like Attorney General Sessions than Putin!! :lol::lol:


----------



## ST4

*I'm in love with a go go dancer and I'm outta pocket, help please!!!!!*


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yeah but that looks more like Attorney General Sessions than Putin!! :lol::lol:


Q: What is Putin typing on the computer?

A: "None of your business!" to TC!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Q: What is Putin typing on the computer?
> 
> A: "None of your business!" to TC!


He wasn't typing. He was watching Ludmilla, the Russian Dressing.


----------



## hpowders

Which is better for me? A great musical fragment or a great musical nugget?

I'm new to all this and I just want to get it right!!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> He wasn't typing. He was watching Ludmilla, the Russian Dressing.


Not that watching that would preclude someone from posting on TC at the same time!


----------



## hpowders

Curious about musical treasures. Are they found buried, like with gold? You need a map to find them?

I'm a bit confused.


----------



## hpowders

I want to get into contemporary music. Should the furniture match? I was thinking Swedish Modern. I'm new to this.


----------



## hpowders

Beethoven's middle quartets, best around noon, I imagine?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I want to get into contemporary music. Should the furniture match? I was thinking Swedish Modern. I'm new to this.


Contemporary music does remind me of Ikea furniture now that you mention it.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Beethoven's middle quartets, best around noon, I imagine?


I take it then that the late quartets are best as a bedtime activity? :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I take it then that the late quartets are best as a bedtime activity? :devil:


Nah! To lull me to sleep, I usually play Tchaikovsky's song, "None but the lonely heart..."


----------



## ST4

Klassik said:


> I take it then that the late quartets are best as a bedtime activity? :devil:


Do you cry yourself to sleep?


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> I want to get into contemporary music. Should the furniture match? I was thinking Swedish Modern. I'm new to this.


Get a room, sit in it. Repeat these words. Finish.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Which is better for me? A great musical fragment or a great musical nugget?
> 
> I'm new to all this and I just want to get it right!!!


What's better chickens or eggs? Or egg-nugget surprise from McDonald's?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> What's better chickens or eggs? Or egg-nugget surprise from McDonald's?


Egg MacNugget came first; then the egg; then the chicken.


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> Egg MacNugget came first; then the egg; then the chicken.


But the Egg MacNugget came outta who? What? Where? Oh my god!!!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Under Appreciated Gargling Traits of Great Singers


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Under Appreciated Gargling Traits of Great Singers


Related STI: Spit or swallow? :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Related STI: Spit or swallow? :devil:


I wonder what Opera singers do, which do they prefer..............


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> But the Egg MacNugget came outta who? What? Where? Oh my god!!!


Why, a chemist's test tube, of course.


----------



## hpowders

Musical Daily:

"Beethoven to sue TC member for public humiliation when the former's early piano sonatas were being alluded to being composed by Mozart." AP.


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I wonder what Opera singers do, which do they prefer..............


Well, mine is nice and thick. Perhaps it helps coat a scratchy throat, but maybe it promotes phlegm?  I don't know, I've never had it in my mouth. I can't even imagine what it would taste like, but I can't imagine it being all that great. Maybe it tastes like Mountain Dew? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Help needed!!

I set my volume dial on "3" when I listen to music at home. Is this good?

I just want to get it right!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Help needed!!
> 
> I set my volume dial on "3" when I listen to music at home. Is this good?
> 
> I just want to get it right!!


Nein .


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Nein .


My volume dial goes only up to eight. It doesn't go up to nein.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> My volume dial goes only up to eight. It doesn't have as high as nein.


So you're saying nine is nein? 

You should buy a Telefunken stereo system. They go up to fünfundfünfzig!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> So you're saying nine is nein?
> 
> You sound buy a Telefunken stereo system. They go up to fünfundfünfzig!


When he gets to nein, nein, nein, El Diablo will quit!!! :devil::devil::devil:


----------



## Scopitone

What do you HATE most about the things you LIKE?


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> When he get to nein, nein, nein, El Diablo will quit!!! :devil::devil::devil:


Number nein. Number nein.


----------



## Bettina

Scopitone said:


> What do you HATE most about the things you LIKE?


I HATE it that the men I LIKE are dead!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I HATE it that the men I LIKE are dead!


It's nice to know that hpowders and I are hated then! 

:devil:

TC is so screwed up technically these days that it's practically dead. It feels like it's going to die soon. Can I have sex with the forum when it dies?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> It's nice to know that *hpowders *and I are *hated* then!
> 
> :devil:
> 
> TC is so screwed up technically these days that it's practically dead. It feels like it's going to die soon. Can I have sex with the forum when it dies?


I have plenty of experience from Thanksgiving gatherings.


----------



## hpowders

Disclaimer: The character "hpowders" has no intentional resemblance to anyone living or dead.

Just thought I should get that out there.


----------



## hpowders

Hey all! Name for me all the happy pieces by Bach.

I'm a musicology doctoral candidate at Peabody and you guys can save me a lot of time!!!


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> Number nein. Number nein.


Sounds like somebody here wants to give Beethoven, Love Potion Number Nein!! :guitar:


----------



## Jacred

The curse of the neinth.


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> The curse of the neinth.


Glad Bruckner never finished his Neinth.


----------



## hpowders

Let's sing to pass the time:

Neinty nein bottles of beer on the wall....


----------



## Klassik

...take one down, pass it around...


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Sounds like somebody here wants to give Beethoven, Love Potion Number Nein!! :guitar:


My thought when hearing the fourth movement of Beethoven's Symphony No. 9? "NEIN!"


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> My thought when hearing the fourth movement of Beethoven's Symphony No. 9? "NEIN!"


Let's party like it's neinteen neinty nein.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Two German infiltrators were at the pub in London during World War II...
-We would like two Martinis, please!
-Dry Martinis? said the bartender...
-NEIN! ZWEI!!!


----------



## Klassik

STI: Alan Thicke: Violin concerto (1993) 

It sounds okay, but as a more mature work, I can tell Mr. Thicke had some growing pains when writing it!


----------



## hpowders

Is Schumann's music a bit too femi-nein?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> *I'm in love with a go go dancer and I'm outta pocket, help please!!!!!*


Sorry to hear that - he is some songs to cheers you up


----------



## hpowders

Is this good? I just got a Proms Concert seat in the mezza-nein.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Is this good? I just got a Proms Concert seat in the mezza-nein.


Are the mezza-nein seats better than the mezzo-soprano seats? Or is it only good when the mezzo-soprano uses you as the seat? :devil:

Actually, I'll stick with the mezza-nein!


----------



## hpowders

Unfortunately, classical music cannot provide unconditional love. For that, I advise posters to get a ca-nein.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Are the mezza-nein seats better than the mezzo-soprano seats? Or is it only good when the mezzo-soprano uses you as the seat? :devil:
> 
> Actually, I'll stick with the mezza-nein!


Please stick to the topic at hand.

Asa-nein comments...no good!!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Please stick to the topic at hand.


But my hands are sticky? :devil:


----------



## Klassik

STI: Does hpowders get mad when Bettina and I like his multiple posts on TC discussing his disdain for likes?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> STI: Does hpowders get mad when Bettina and I like his multiple posts on TC discussing his disdain for likes?


I was wondering about that too. But I think he knows that I'm not just giving out automatic likes for the sake of it. I actually do like his ideas and writing style. Too bad he's alive, otherwise he would be perfect for me! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I was wondering about that too. But I think he knows that I'm not just giving out automatic likes for the sake of it. I actually do like his ideas and writing style. Too bad he's alive, otherwise he would be perfect for me! :lol:


Well, he is old...:lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Well, he is old...:lol:


What you grooming HP or something............


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Reviewing My 4'33" Collection


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> What you grooming HP or something............


I don't know what I'm doing. Hooking hpowders up with the woman who dumped me? :lol:

It does bring up an interesting question though. If Bettina sleeps with a living person and causes them to have a heart attack and die during intercourse, does that count as sleeping with a dead person? I think Bettina has the skills to pull such a thing off! :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Carrothoven vs. Beethoven
What is your favourite Vegetable Composer


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Carrothoven vs. Beethoven
> What is your favourite Vegetable Composer


I prefer Beethoven, even though carrots are a better fit!


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Reviewing My 4'33" Collection


Did I ever tell you about my fantastic blank audio cassette collection? :lol:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Carrothoven vs. Beethoven
> What is your favourite Vegetable Composer


Well, a carrot is better shaped for certain activities I would think!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Did I ever tell you about my fantastic blank audio cassette collection? :lol:
> 
> *Well, a carrot is better shaped for certain activities I would think! ;*)


 I just posted the exact same thing at the exact same time!! Great minds think alike (or should I say dirty minds?)


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I just posted the exact same thing at the exact same time!! Great minds think alike (or should I say dirty minds?)


This isn't the first time this has happened. I'd like to say that our minds are both great...because they're both dirty! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Oh the amazing things one can do with a banana.










Anyone else have other ideas for what a banana can be useful for?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Did I ever tell you about my fantastic blank audio cassette collection? :lol:


Well saves on re- recording i guess


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Oh the amazing things one can do with a banana.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Anyone else have other ideas for what a banana can be useful for?


Monkeys...............................


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Well saves on re- recording i guess


Do you like your 4'33" on metal? :guitar:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Monkeys...............................


Real monkeys or simulated ones? :devil:

Besides, Bettina said the monkeys choose harpsichords!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Do you like your 4'33" on metal? :guitar:


Mastered on metal, thanks.................


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Real monkeys or simulated ones? :devil:
> 
> *Besides, Bettina said the monkeys choose harpsichords!*


Wow, you have an impressive memory! :clap:I had forgotten all about that post.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Real monkeys or simulated ones? :devil:
> 
> Besides, Bettina said the monkeys choose harpsichords!


Take your pick, maybe even zombie ones


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Wow, you have an impressive memory! :clap:I had forgotten all about that post.


The moment when you said that you knew how to play the harpsichord was one of the greatest moments of my life! 

Maybe one day you'll get access to the monkey harpsichord again and you'll play/record something for us harpsichord-loving STIers!


----------



## Pat Fairlea

A Perfect Cadence makes an Imperfect Coda. Discuss.


----------



## Klassik

STI: Do you like composers with or without pubic hair?


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> STI: Do you like composers with or without pubic hair?


I'd have to say without! After almost 200 years in the grave, Beethoven probably doesn't have much (if any) pubic hair left. :lol: :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'd have to say without! After almost 200 years in the grave, Beethoven probably doesn't have much (if any) pubic hair left. :lol: :lol:


Maybe his hairs are all that he has left? In the physical looks department, the only thing Beethoven really had going for him was his head hair. Maybe his pubic hair was similarly great? :lol:

You're not a fan of hairy legs? :lol: What about a Klassik feature, a thin line of hair connecting the belly button to the d!ck? :devil: Supposedly some women like that!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Maybe his hairs are all that he has left? In the physical looks department, the only thing Beethoven really had going for him was his head hair. Maybe his pubic hair was similarly great? :lol:
> 
> You're not a fan of hairy legs? :lol: What about a Klassik feature, a thin line of hair connecting the belly button to the d!ck? :devil: Supposedly some women like that!


Good point about Beethoven's sexy head of hair. In light of that, I guess I'll change my vote. :lol:

Ah, the famous happy trail (sometimes called treasure trail)! I wonder if Beethoven had/has one.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Good point about Beethoven's sexy head of hair. In light of that, I guess I'll change my vote. :lol:
> 
> *Ah, the famous happy trail (sometimes called treasure trail)!* I wonder if Beethoven had/has one.


Who knew it had a name?! It's just a shame that many of Klassik's greatest features are forced to be hidden from public view!  It's not that the visible stuff is bad, but I wish I could show off my treasure trail! :devil:


----------



## ST4

*National Composer graves treasure hunt *


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> STI: Does hpowders get mad when Bettina and I like his multiple posts on TC discussing his disdain for likes?


I don't get mad. I get even.


----------



## Klassik

Real thread from the past that would cause Bettina and I to get banned if I bumped it up to the top: Tyranny of the fingers 

:devil:


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> I don't get mad. I get even.


But you don't get 666 anymore


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, he is old...:lol:


Not that old. Watch your Bach.


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Real thread from the past that would cause Bettina and I to get banned if I bumped it up to the top: Tyranny of the fingers
> 
> :devil:


Sometimes I feel like I'm a slave to the tyranny of my fingers. In other words, I just can't stop doing it!! :lol: :lol: :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Sometimes I feel like I'm a slave to the tyranny of my fingers. In other words, I just can't stop doing it!! :lol: :lol: :devil:


Really it's more like the tyranny of the pu**y, right? The fingers are the slaves? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Really it's more like the tyranny of the pu**y, right? The fingers are the slaves? :devil:


Haha, you're right about that! My "lady garden"* is forcing my fingers into submission.

*I'm using (uncharacteristically) delicate language here, so that I don't get banned.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I was wondering about that too. But I think he knows that I'm not just giving out automatic likes for the sake of it. I actually do like his ideas and writing style. Too bad he's alive, otherwise he would be perfect for me! :lol:


The post wasn't refering to you since you spread your "likes" out among many posters, even the newer ones. If many more folks were like you, I wouldn't have needed to write that post. But too many are selective likers, liking only friends' posts, even though the content may be mediocre, while a post above or below the one "liked" may be a wonderful, helpful post and gets no "like". I'm tired of witnessing that and the only way to stop it is to eliminate the "like" system. I know, though, that it will never happen, because I already campaigned for this last year and was rebuffed.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Haha, you're right about that! My "lady garden"* is forcing my fingers into submission.
> 
> *I'm using (uncharacteristically) delicate language here, so that I don't get banned.


So you're saying you're not going to start a thread talking about the Tyranny of your "Lady Garden?" :lol: Perhaps you should write a blog post about this subject. I'd read it! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> So you're saying you're not going to start a thread talking about the Tyranny of your "Lady Garden?" :lol: Perhaps you should write a blog post about this subject. I'd read it! :devil:


I'd better not post any TC threads or blogs about my lady garden. I'm already in enough trouble! The mods scolded us for talking about our "excretory habits" and they deleted some of our posts: http://www.talkclassical.com/49682-self-esteem-survey-tc-4.html


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I'd better not post any TC threads or blogs about my lady garden. I'm already in enough trouble! The mods scolded us for talking about our "excretory habits" and they deleted some of our posts: http://www.talkclassical.com/49682-self-esteem-survey-tc-4.html


Those were great posts!  Oh well, at least the have the safety of STI (or do we?)! Oh well, I'm going home. I'll be stewing on the drive home!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Those were great posts!  Oh well, at least the have the safety of STI (or do we?)! Oh well, I'm going home. I'll be stewing on the drive home!


Yes, I was very disappointed to discover the loss of our literary masterpieces. I should have made a backup copy! I don't think I'll ever be able to reconstruct the brilliance of those particular posts.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, I was very disappointed to discover the loss of our literary masterpieces. I should have made a backup copy! I don't think I'll ever be able to reconstruct the brilliance of those particular posts.


 I was so mad that I had to stop on the way and buy some classical CDs! Just when you were starting to feel a little less shy again, BAM!  TC won't be the same with those posts gone now!


----------



## ST4

*The "Walking The Dog" Theory: How Walking Your Dog increases both your musical memory and composition skills* Things that well known composers don't want you to know (Beethoven "Yeah, I stay in my apartment all day and watch Netflix, that's how I write masterpieces")


----------



## Klassik

Another real thread from the past that would cause Bettina and I to get banned if I bumped it up to the top: Finger!

2004 was such an innocent time on TC as far as I can tell! :lol:


----------



## Vaneyes

Counterpunch, countermand, counter-intelligence, lunch counter, counteract, other, don't care, don't know.

Related:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news...-jr-meeting-russian-lobbyist-rinat-akhmetshin


----------



## ST4

My Clock Doesn't Work? How to spot a Counterfeit


----------



## Vaneyes

Web-spinner, fidget spinner, money-spinner, spinner, other. Discuss.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Kind-of-spinner...


----------



## Vaneyes

Sad, bad, mad.


----------



## Vaneyes

Would you recommend STI to everyone? 1.) YES.


----------



## Klassik

Vaneyes said:


> Would you recommend STI to everyone? 1.) YES.


I must admit that STI probably isn't for everyone!  It's great for those with a certain sense of humor though!


----------



## hpowders

Has anybody come back from the Proms?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Nobody ever returned...


----------



## Vaneyes

Super values, family values, core values, car values, personal values, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/07/24/trump-family-values


----------



## hpowders

Is it Pröms or Proems?


----------



## hpowders

Dead Pianists: A Resurrection Game.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Has anybody come back from the Proms?


You know good and well what happens after prom! :devil:

Oh, wait, you meant the BBC Proms. Well, I have no idea what happens after that! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You know good and well what happens after prom! :devil:
> 
> Oh, wait, you meant the BBC Proms. Well, I have no idea what happens after that! :lol:


*BBC??* *B*ettina *B*orrows *C*adaver?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> *BBC??* *B*ettina *B*orrows *C*adaver?


Letting Bettina borrow a cadaver would be like letting someone borrow your CDs. Even if you do get them back, they'll all be scratched up! In the case of Bettina and the cadaver, certain appendages of the cadaver might break off!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Letting Bettina borrow a cadaver would be like letting someone borrow your CDs. Even if you do get them back, they'll all be scratched up! In the case of Bettina and the cadaver, certain appendages of the cadaver might break off!


That B cold, man!


----------



## ST4

Luckily it ain't BBS:

*B*etter *B*ow-down-to *S*T4


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> That B cold, man!


I would, however, let Bettina borrow my CDs. I don't think she would steal or scratch them. All that sticky lubricant she has will make sure they don't get scratched!  Of course, I might have to spend some time cleaning them afterwards! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I would, however, let Bettina borrow my CDs. I don't think she would steal or scratch them. All that sticky lubricant she has will make sure they don't get scratched!  Of course, I might have to spend some time cleaning them afterwards! :lol:


It all comes down to the tonearm mass. Gram-ma Micrah is using mine at the moment.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> It all comes down to the tonearm mass. Gram-ma is using mine at the moment.


Are you saying that Bettina would "get into the groove" with your recordings? 

Do you have a conical or elliptical stylus?


----------



## ST4

*Would You Recommend Classical Music To Classical Fans?*

I know this is STI but honestly think about this for a second:

A non-classical friend will generally either say "I like it" or "This sounds like garbage", but a classical fan will not only put up an intellectual argument about it but take quotes and references from everywhere and make encyclopedia articles to prove to you how your favorite piece is "ok"


----------



## Granate

Your Desert Island CDs you promised not to bring up, but you show everyone when you're bored in a night-out.


----------



## Granate

Your least favourite opera aria that sticks in your head when you are bored in a night-out.


----------



## Granate

How many night-outs savings do I need to afford 2020's Bayreuth Festival?


----------



## hpowders

Would you ever recommend a Brahms String Sextet to a nun?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Would you ever recommend a Brahms String Sextet to a nun?


I don't know, but the nuns liked sextets with Liszt according to some rumors. :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I don't know, but the nuns liked sextets with Liszt according to some rumors. :devil:


That's the Legend of St. Elizabeth. Helped Liszt become more composed, according to the tale.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Are you saying that Bettina would "get into the groove" with your recordings?
> 
> Do you have a conical or elliptical stylus?


Stylus change, but hpowders remains the same.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What's your favorite death metal band today? (I actually have one: Execration )


----------



## SiegendesLicht

Granate said:


> How many night-outs savings do I need to afford 2020's Bayreuth Festival?


ALL of it?! A lot!


----------



## Granate

SiegendesLicht said:


> ALL of it?! A lot!


Thanks, I thought that even with the money to buy all the tickets I still wouldn't get any seat until 2022.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite Vietnamese Opera NOT composed by Bruckner.


----------



## David OByrne

*Poll: Favorite? *


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Favorite Vietnamese Opera NOT composed by Bruckner.


I'm more of a fan of Cambodian opera. Pol Pot's Khmer Moulin Rouge is quite interesting. They swing machetes to Offenbach's can-can music!


----------



## hpowders

How come at Bayreuth, the complete Bruckner Symphonies, "live" cost $4.67 in total, but Die Walküre costs $783 for a balcony seat?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I'm more of a fan of Cambodian opera. Pol Pot's Khmer Moulin Rouge is quite interesting. They swing machetes to Offenbach's can-can music!


Lyndon Johnson favored Vietnamese Opera, as long as he didn't have to send his daughter there to see it. They stayed behind, safely as part of the "Great Society" while he sent many young men who were dying to see it.


----------



## hpowders

Should singer's flaws before performances?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> How come at Bayreuth, the complete Bruckner Symphonies, "live" cost $4.67 in total, but Die Walküre costs $783 for a balcony seat?


They've studied the demographics of Wagner fans and found that _the_ cheap people aren't really attracted to Wagner for whatever reason! 

Just kidding! Just kidding! 



hpowders said:


> Lyndon Johnson favored Vietnamese Opera, as long as he didn't have to send his daughter there to see it. They stayed behind, safely as part of the Great Society" while he sent many young men who were dying to see it.


Hey, pointless wars are a tradition of presidents from Texas! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> They've studied the demographics of Wagner fans and found that _the_ cheap people aren't really attracted to Wagner for whatever reason!
> 
> Just kidding! Just kidding!
> 
> I tip posters 35% simply to never mention the music of Bruckner, Liszt, Schubert, as well as multiple Beethoven symphony sets, ever in my presence. Cheap, no. Effective, yes!


----------



## ST4

*I need your money!*


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I tip posters 35% simply to never mention the music of Bruckner, Liszt, Schubert, as well as multiple Beethoven symphony sets, ever in my presence. Cheap, no. Effective, yes!


Well, 35% of 0 is zero! 

Perhaps I should get in the business of selling Liszt symphony sets. I can charge a lot and it won't cost me anything to make them! :lol: I'm not counting the Faust and Dante symphonies of course!

You don't like discussion of multiple Beethoven symphony sets?


----------



## hpowders

If I can make more money as a hooker, why am I still a piano teacher?

I just want to know why?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> If I can make more money as a hooker, why am I still a piano teacher?
> 
> I just want to know why?


Because then you have to sleep with living people! Eww! The cruel, harsh tones of the piano will send a signal to the evil spirits that you're ready for attention! :devil:


----------



## ST4

hpowders said:


> If I can make more money as a hooker, why am I still a piano teacher?
> 
> I just want to know why?


Sign me up to be a male prostitute too, I'm sick of writing to make money


----------



## ST4

ST4 said:


> Sign me up to be a male prostitute too, I'm sick of writing to make money


Hello, I asked to be signed up????? :scold:


----------



## Klassik

ST4 said:


> Hello, I asked to be signed up????? :scold:


This is STI. You can only really be a prostitute here if you're dead.


----------



## arpeggio

Has there been a decline in the state of posts in "Stupid Thread Ideas"?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

arpeggio said:


> Has there been a decline in the state of posts in "Stupid Thread Ideas"?


The most abundant element in the universe is stupidity, so no.................


----------



## ST4

arpeggio said:


> Has there been a decline in the state of posts in "Stupid Thread Ideas"?


Since 2008 :devil:


----------



## ST4

millionrainbows said:


> See what ridiculous thread ideas you can come up with! Here are some...
> 
> "Wagner: Did He Kill Natalie Wood?"
> 
> "Why Doesn't My Grandmother like John Cage's Music?"
> 
> "Beethoven, Anger Management, and the Ethics of Stalking"
> 
> "Schoenberg's 12-Tone Method Didn't really Exist, It Was All Tonal"
> 
> "Were George and Ira Gershwin Anti-Semites?"
> 
> "Thematic Continuity and Melodic Elaboration in Morton Feldman's Music"
> 
> "Webern at Beyreuth"


The post that started it all: *Discuss!*


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Because then you have to sleep with living people! Eww! The cruel, harsh tones of the piano will send a signal to the evil spirits that you're ready for attention! :devil:


Yes! Yes! That's what I thought. I was just looking for confirmation.

My mommy says I would be of more use to my family if she can rent me out as a hooker.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> Sign me up to be a male prostitute too, I'm sick of writing to make money


What about your stipend as a TC Señior Member?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> This is STI. You can only really be a prostitute here if you're dead.


Yeah, but the money's still good right? I have a 3 year old daughter and she may want to go to college. That's expensive! Never too early to work!
Just askin'. :angel:


----------



## hpowders

David OByrne said:


> *Poll: Favorite? *


The one by the Putin politburo member about why all polls are so dumb:
99.9987% of the favorite choices selected by the other posters in all of those polls, not so coincidentally, happen to be at odds with his own choices.

I want my choices!!!! :scold::scold::scold:


----------



## David OByrne

hpowders said:


> The one by the Putin politburo member about why all polls are so dumb:
> 99.9987% of the choices selected by the other posters in all of those polls, not so coincidentally, happen to be at odds with his own choices.


*Pol: Favot?*

_Ya
Ne
I no bot da quesion
Dis goies agaist mi regiin
Not hurd dis before, I lis latar 
Why cars? _


----------



## hpowders

David OByrne said:


> *Pol: Favot?*
> 
> _Ya
> Ne
> I no bot da quesion
> Dis goies agaist mi regiin
> Not hurd dis before, I lis latar
> Why cars? _


"I'm miserable and I'm taking you all with me!! 

You say up...I say down!!

You say blue...I say brown!

You make smile...I make frown!! "


----------



## hpowders

News flash: The "I Hate You" arena has now been re-named "Divorce Court".


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> How many night-outs savings do I need to afford 2020's Bayreuth Festival?


Depends if a "night out" is to a cat house or a $2 movie.

It's all about priorities, my friends.


----------



## hpowders

Your top 10 favorite opera singers who won't be appearing on "The Voice".


----------



## Granate

hpowders said:


> Depends if a "night out" is to a cat house or a $2 movie. So which is it?


In Spain, Europe, it's drinking beer (which I don't do anyway) in an Irish bar, then having dinner at midnight, before eating a big icecream.

_Is that absurd enough for this thread? I couldn't make up anything._


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, 35% of 0 is zero!
> 
> Perhaps I should get in the business of selling Liszt symphony sets. I can charge a lot and it won't cost me anything to make them! :lol: I'm not counting the Faust and Dante symphonies of course!
> 
> You don't like discussion of multiple Beethoven symphony sets?


Making an inquiry. I see you are in sales. You wouldn't charge me Liszt price, would you? Otherwise, I will walk.


----------



## hpowders

How do you know that you are dead?

Post no. 1: I will start: My musical interests aren't changing over time. That's how I know.


----------



## hpowders

Did you know that Barenboim Mozart changed his name to Wolfgang Mozart on February 3rd, 1777?


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The most abundant element in the universe is stupidity, so no.................


Yes. It makes its appearance on the Table, Period-ically.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What do you HATE the most about music?
-Hm, the rhythm and melody...and harmony and form and instrumentation...BUT, I don't hate a lot


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> In Spain, Europe, it's drinking beer (which I don't do anyway) in an Irish bar, then having dinner at midnight, before eating a big icecream.
> 
> _Is that absurd enough for this thread? I couldn't make up anything._


I love drinking beer...so long as I am not resting on my bier.


----------



## hpowders

News flash: Trump Arena name change to I Hate You Memorial Arena.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite September Sextet.


----------



## Granate

Mean conductors who get too much love on TalkClassical


----------



## hpowders

Announcement: So ribald posts never disappear, store them in the Cloud.


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> Mean conductors who get too much love on TalkClassical


Every Wagner conductor.


----------



## Granate

hpowders said:


> Every Wagner conductor.


Even Simon?


----------



## hpowders

Private message or Private massage: Your choice!


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> Even Simon?


His wife is a better singer than he is a conductor, IMO.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

We need more screaming in classical music!


----------



## hpowders

I'm trying to forget I ever came to the thread "Remembering a Late Romantic Composer"....and it has not been easy.


----------



## hpowders

Poll approved by the Politburo:

Which do you prefer:

1. The greatest opera ever written.

2. The greatest story ever told.

3. As long as posters are as miserable as I am, I don't really give a crap.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Those were great posts!  Oh well, at least the have the safety of STI (or do we?)! Oh well, I'm going home. I'll be stewing on the drive home!


Cloud storage was made for that!!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Private message or Private massage: Your choice!


Private massage. On that note, h, I'm ready for my massage. I'm here, naked. :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Cloud storage was made for that!!!


Are STI posts stored on Cloud No. 69? :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Private massage. On that note, h, I'm ready for my massage. I'm here, naked. :lol:


I just became scared sterile and I hope there's a cure!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Are STI posts stored on Cloud No. 69? :devil:


All I know is I pay Apple .99¢ a month.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I just became scared sterile and I hope there's a cure!!


Well, at least now I can die knowing that I made a positive impact on society! :lol:

Just kidding, h!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Private massage. On that note, h, I'm ready for my massage. I'm here, naked. :lol:


So THIS is what the two of you get up to when I'm logged off!  :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Announcement: TC Premium Members will have their deleted posts stored in the Cloud, so when we say the posts are deleted, it's just a macho thing and all BS.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, at least now I can die knowing that I made a positive impact on society! :lol:
> 
> Just kidding, h!


It's okay. July 16th is my "once a year" time. I'll think of you later.

HPOWDERS!! HPOWDERS!! HPOWDERS!! :clap::clap:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What is your favorite symphoncerto quartet?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Your favorite classical mausic performance on the Banjo - Bach on a Banjo even


----------



## Granate

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> What is your favorite symphoncerto quartet?


Mahler's String Symphony No.11 for Violin, xylophone, cymbals and DFD.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, at least now I can die knowing that I made a positive impact on society! :lol:
> 
> Just kidding, h!


Yo' birth momma should B proud o' y'all. Showin' such grits.

Only kidding! :kiss:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, at least now I can die knowing that I made a positive impact on society! :lol:
> 
> Just kidding, h!


You a only chil'? Soun's like it.

Jus' kiddin'. ut:


----------



## hpowders

Notice: Due to a programming error, we cannot change Barenboim Mozart to Wolfgang Mozart on the forum. Please bear with us...we are over-loaded with creative solutions to TC problems.


----------



## hpowders

Your quintessential sextets.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Yo' birth momma should B proud o' y'all. Showin' such grits.
> 
> Only kidding! :kiss:


My birth momma? That's the only one I have. You have two mommas? Or is yo mamma so fat that she just looks like two mommas? :lol:

Just kidding! But I'm not going to kiss you. That said, your kiss was kind of erotic. Just sayin'.


----------



## hpowders

Area 51:

Poster: "I have a problem!"

Company man: "U B the problem!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> My birth momma? That's the only one I have. You have two mommas? Or is yo mamma so fat that she just looks like two mommas? :lol:
> 
> Just kidding! But I'm not going to kiss you. That said, your kiss was kind of erotic. Just sayin'.


I'll rank you so low, you will have to look up to look down.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Notice: Due to a programming error, we cannot change Barenboim Mozart to Wolfgang Mozart on the forum. Please bear with us...we are over-loaded with creative solutions to TC problems.


I have a picture of Barenboim perhaps wearing Mozart's clothing. It would seem like it went out of fashion in 1791.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I'll rank yo so low, you will have to look up to look down.


I'm so stiff right now that I have to look up to look at what should be down there! 

It should be noted that I'm not this stiff because of your kiss. I just want that to be clear.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I have a picture of Barenboim perhaps wearing Mozart's clothing. It would seem like it went out of fashion in 1791.
> 
> View attachment 96023


I was sitting near him at Carnegie Hall once. He's quite short.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I'm so stiff right now that I have to look up to look at what should be down there!
> 
> It should be noted that I'm not this stiff because of your kiss. I just want that to be clear.


You didn't need to clarify. I'd personally rather be waterboarded.... as long as Bettina was pouring the water. :angel:


----------



## hpowders

General meeting of the membership right by Activity Stream.

Be there!!!


----------



## hpowders

As music, does serialism have much snap, crackle and pop?


----------



## hpowders

Which posts/PMs by Bettina did you come back to again and again?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> You didn't need to clarify. I'd personally rather be waterboarded.... as long as Bettina was pouring the water. :angel:


You'd just want to die if you were being waterboarded by Bettina? 



hpowders said:


> Which posts/PMs by Bettina did you come back to again and again?


There's so many! I can tell you which ones I won't be going back to though.  Well, aside from the ones that were rudely deleted!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You'd just want to die if you were being waterboarded by Bettina?
> 
> There's so many! I can tell you which ones I won't be going back to though.  Well, aside from the ones that were rudely deleted!


When you go to bed with 1151 posts and wake up with 376, Houston, there is a problem!

Bread is baked while you sleep and that's when the TC postal deficiency committee meets with sharpened scissors.


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> You didn't need to clarify. I'd personally rather be waterboarded.... as long as Bettina was pouring the water. :angel:


Thank you! That's quite a nice (if rather kinky) compliment. 

Of course, I'm not actually planning to torture or kill anyone, despite my much-discussed love of dead men. Somehow I've managed to achieve the impossible: I'm a necrophiliac pacifist. :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Thank you! That's quite a nice (if rather kinky) compliment.
> 
> Of course, I'm not actually planning to torture or kill anyone, despite my much-discussed love of dead men. Somehow I've managed to achieve the impossible: I'm a necrophiliac pacifist. :lol:


Yes! Yes! That was disturbingly kinky. WTF is wrong with me?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!! :clap::clap:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Thank you! That's quite a nice (if rather kinky) compliment.
> 
> Of course, I'm not actually planning to torture or kill anyone, despite my much-discussed love of dead men. Somehow I've managed to achieve the impossible: I'm a necrophiliac pacifist. :lol:


A necrophiliac pacifist who likes it a little rough. Well, a little rough as long as she does it to herself!  Ok, got it...I think! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> A necrophiliac pacifist who likes it a little rough. Well, a little rough as long as she does it to herself!  Ok, got it...I think! :devil:


Yeah, I keep going until I'm begging myself to stop!! :lol: :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I keep going until I'm begging myself to stop!! :lol: :lol:


It sounds like torture, but we know it isn't though! :devil:

Forget about Kaspar the friendly ghost, that's not the Beethoven you want!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> *It sounds like torture, but we know it isn't though!* :devil:
> 
> Forget about Kaspar the friendly ghost, that's not the Beethoven you want!


Exactly! It's completely consensual. Actually, I guess ALL autoerotic activities are consensual by definition...I think... :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Exactly! It's completely consensual. Actually, I guess ALL autoerotic activities are consensual by definition...I think... :lol:


What about wet dreams? I just feel violated when those happen! 

But, yeah, I'm guessing you don't make your fingers sign a consent form each night! You keep your fingers fresh for other activities! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> *What about wet dreams? I just feel violated when those happen!*
> 
> But, yeah, I'm guessing you don't make your fingers sign a consent form each night! You keep your fingers fresh for other activities! :devil:


LOL, that would be funny if you brought rape charges against yourself because of a wet dream! :lol: As for me, I never feel violated when I have sexual dreams...I love them! (Of course, they're not technically _wet _dreams, although things might get pretty wet down there!) :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> LOL, that would be funny if you brought rape charges against yourself because of a wet dream! :lol: As for me, I never feel violated when I have sexual dreams...I love them! (Of course, they're not technically _wet _dreams, although things might get pretty wet down there!)


I hate sexual dreams! Wet dreams are the worst. It seems like it's even stickier and fishy when it comes out that way, but I can't explain it. Maybe our friendly STI chemist...ok, our STI chemist of questionable attitude , can help explain this phenomena. :lol:

Sexual dreams are all part of female privilege. Well, I guess we're even now for the whole monthly visitor part!  Do you ever make your nighties wet or is it all open down there? :devil:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Was Romanticism The Last Significant Development In Classical Music?*


No, I do not think of it in any way. It is Dead.

433%
Unsure, I don't know enough to decide

00%
Irrelevant question altogether

16.67%
Who cares

16.67%
I prefer melted vegemite on toast


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I hate sexual dreams! Wet dreams are the worst. It seems like it's even stickier and fishy when it comes out that way, but I can't explain it. Maybe our friendly STI chemist...ok, our STI chemist of questionable attitude , can help explain this phenomena. :lol:
> 
> Sexual dreams are all part of female privilege. Well, I guess we're even now for the whole monthly visitor part!  Do you ever make your nighties wet or is it all open down there? :devil:


Sometimes I wear pajamas, especially in the winter. But if it's warm enough, I certainly do prefer to sleep naked! :devil:


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Was Romanticism The Last Significant Development In Classical Music?*
> 
> 
> No, I do not think of it in any way. It is Dead.
> 
> 433%
> Unsure, I don't know enough to decide
> 
> *00%
> [*]Irrelevant question altogether*
> 
> 16.67%
> Who cares
> 
> *16.67%
> [*]I prefer melted vegemite on toast*


I think you got the percentages for those two mixed up!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Sometimes I wear pajamas, especially in the winter. But if it's warm enough, I certainly do prefer to sleep naked! :devil:


Well, it's pretty hot these days. I'm guessing it's naked season once again? :devil: Now I'll know why I get erections when I listen to the Spring/Summer parts of Vivaldi's Four Seasons! 

Do your fingers and lady garden ever stay awake when the rest of your body is asleep? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Well, it's pretty hot these days. I'm guessing it's naked season once again? :devil: Now I'll know why I get erections when I listen to the Spring/Summer parts of Vivaldi's Four Seasons!
> 
> Do your fingers and lady garden ever stay awake when the rest of your body is asleep? :devil:


Yes, it's definitely naked season right now! I don't know if I ever touch myself in my sleep. I suspect that I probably do, because I often dream about that activity! (Isn't that crazy...my sex dreams usually involve solo sex!) :lol: :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Yes, it's definitely naked season right now! I don't know if I ever touch myself in my sleep. I suspect that I probably do, because I often dream about that activity! (Isn't that crazy...my sex dreams usually involve solo sex!) :lol: :lol:


It sounds like your sessions continue when you're asleep! What is a good auto-sexual dream like? What about a bad one?

Do you ever wake up with sticky fingers and wild hair? :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> It sounds like your sessions continue when you're asleep! What is a good auto-sexual dream like? What about a bad one?
> 
> Do you ever wake up with sticky fingers and wild hair? :devil:


The best auto-sexual dreams take place when I realize that I'm dreaming (lucid dream). As soon as this realization hits, I often decide to touch myself in public, because there will be no real-life consequences! Those dreams are very exciting. It's funny, because I have no desire to do it publicly in waking life, but as soon as I'm asleep, it's often the first thought that crosses my mind.

I don't think I've ever had any bad auto-sexual dreams. My nightmares rarely involve autosexuality. They usually involve being unprepared for a recital or something unsexy like that.

I've never woken up with any visible proof of nighttime auto-touching. Maybe I'm not physically able to do the act in my sleep - I'm not sure how much dexterity and flexibility there actually is during sleep. I've read that partial paralysis often occurs during REM sleep.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> The best auto-sexual dreams take place when I realize that I'm dreaming (lucid dream). As soon as this realization hits, I often decide to touch myself in public, because there will be no real-life consequences! Those dreams are very exciting. It's funny, because I have no desire to do it publicly in waking life, but as soon as I'm asleep, it's often the first thought that crosses my mind.
> 
> I don't think I've ever had any bad auto-sexual dreams. My nightmares rarely involve autosexuality. They usually involve being unprepared for a recital or something unsexy like that.
> 
> I've never woken up with any visible proof of nighttime auto-touching. Maybe I'm not physically able to do the act in my sleep - I'm not sure how much dexterity and flexibility there actually is during sleep. I've read that partial paralysis often occurs during REM sleep.


Fortunately, I rarely have dreams about work! I usually don't have wet dreams, but they are about weird things when I do. I can't remember anything specific, but I know they are weird!

I'm not sure if it's possible to touch while sleeping. Perhaps it's possible during certain stages. Sometimes I'll lay on my side or stomach and that will cause me to get erect! Of course, there is morning wood too. I'm sure our brain has processes about it, but it may not be anything we can recall.


----------



## ST4

I'm gonna get some staples, glue and a hammer and try something new


----------



## Pugg

ST4 said:


> I'm gonna get some staples, glue and a hammer and try something new


Try film music.


----------



## ST4

Pugg said:


> Try film music.


Yes, of course


----------



## Pugg

ST4 said:


> Yes, of course


You're not that bad.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pugg said:


> You're not that bad.


Good way to make a buck if you get lucky..............


----------



## Pugg

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Good way to make a buck if you get lucky..............


I agree so whole hardly, he has to work hard tough.


----------



## arpeggio

Why do you think you know more about music than Bernard Haitink?


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> I'm gonna get some staples, glue and a hammer and try something new


Don't hurt yourself. It can be sensitive down there.


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> I'm gonna get some staples, glue and a hammer and try something new


Sounds troubling.

If U ever want 2 Telemann what's going on with U, PM me. I'm here 4 U. :kiss:

I'm writing in young man's Facebook lingo to better communicate.


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

*Which Richter is your favorite?
Sviatslav:
*








Karl:








Andy:


----------



## Granate

Gabriel Ortiz said:


> *Which Richter is your favorite?
> Sviatslav:
> *
> View attachment 96036
> 
> 
> Karl:
> View attachment 96037
> 
> 
> Andy:
> View attachment 96038


Max


----------



## Klassik

No love for Franz Xaver Richter?

What about Mike Richter?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> No love for Franz Xaver Richter?
> 
> What about Mike Richter?


Not better than Eddie Giacomin from the good old days.


----------



## hpowders

Did a poll of the regulars at O'Reilly's Bar & Grill and seven out of 8 indicated to me that cadential 6/4 chords really **** them off.
The other dude was completely passed out.


----------



## Granate

*STI Appreciation thread*

#IronyModeOff I want to compliment TC for this great thread that works like Twitter, but without haters, Politics hooligans and Stock Market adverts. Only Classical #WeTalkClassical


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

Yes why don't I list every known Richter in existence to appease the continuity of my poll


----------



## Portamento

For some reason this made me think of Richie Rich.


----------



## millionrainbows

*Twelve Reasons I dislike Schoenberg's Music:

1. C
2. C# (Db)
3. D
4. D# (Eb)
5. E
6. F
7. F# (Gb)
8. G
9. G# (Ab)
10. A
11. A# (Bb)
12. B
*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Iannis Xenakis: What's Uglier, His Music or His Face?*


----------



## millionrainbows

*Newly Discovered John Cage Scores: Composing By Using Sports Statistics*


----------



## ST4

millionrainbows said:


> *Iannis Xenakis: What's Uglier, His Music or His Face?*


This was a joke but don't you think a little insensitive?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> This was a joke but don't you think a little insensitive?


But his mother loved him


----------



## hpowders

ST4 said:


> This was a joke but don't you think a little insensitive?


I don't think it was insensitive enough, but it will have to do for now, so I must consider it Godunov.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

An old Oz "Folk" song for Klassik and Bettina..............

Smut


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

millionrainbows said:


> *Twelve Reasons I dislike Schoenberg's Music:
> 
> 1. C
> 2. C# (Db)
> 3. D
> 4. D# (Eb)
> 5. E
> 6. F
> 7. F# (Gb)
> 8. G
> 9. G# (Ab)
> 10. A
> 11. A# (Bb)
> 12. B
> *


How can one play the BACH-motive with this useless bunch? Oh...British! The British have a fierce reputation for CONQUERING THE WORLD


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

I'm super, thanks for asking! How do you do when you do it?


----------



## Scopitone

millionrainbows said:


> *Twelve Reasons I dislike Schoenberg's Music:
> 
> 1. C
> 2. C# (Db)
> 3. D
> 4. D# (Eb)
> 5. E
> 6. F
> 7. F# (Gb)
> 8. G
> 9. G# (Ab)
> 10. A
> 11. A# (Bb)
> 12. B
> *


There's your first problem: You have 17 notes listed there.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

How often do you dance the bebop tango?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> How often do you dance the bebop tango?


About once a week


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

HEY! Did Nixon bring back the years?!


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

millionrainbows said:


> *Iannis Xenakis: What's Uglier, His Music or His Face?*


Woman think scars are sexy!

Edit: Just not my kind apparently...


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Not better than Eddie Giacomin from the good old days.


Yeah, but Richter helped the Rangers end their long championship drought. Of course, they could have kept John Vanbiesbrouck and had the same result as well probably! 



ST4 said:


> This was a joke but don't you think a little insensitive?


This is the thread where we talk about having sex with dead people. Insensitivity, or perhaps excessive sensitivity, is our pockmark...err...trademark! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Sometimes I wear pajamas, especially in the winter. But if it's warm enough, I certainly do prefer to sleep naked! :devil:


Pictures or it never happened.


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Yes, it's definitely naked season right now! I don't know if I ever touch myself in my sleep. I suspect that I probably do, because I often dream about that activity! (Isn't that crazy...my sex dreams usually involve solo sex!) :lol: :lol:


For what it's worth, I always sleep in the raw-365 days a year. I'm here!!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I hate sexual dreams! Wet dreams are the worst. It seems like it's even stickier and fishy when it comes out that way, but I can't explain it. Maybe our friendly STI chemist...ok, our STI chemist of questionable attitude , can help explain this phenomena. :lol:
> 
> Sexual dreams are all part of female privilege. Well, I guess we're even now for the whole monthly visitor part!  Do you ever make your nighties wet or is it all open down there? :devil:


Oh, come on. Don't hold Bach. Tell us something about your life!! Soooo private!!!


----------



## hpowders

Best French Restaurant composer.


----------



## hpowders

Favorite lurker who reads all your posts without you knowing about it.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> For what it's worth, I always sleep in the raw-365 days a year. I'm here!!


Well, gee, thanks. The thought of you in the raw suddenly cooled STI down significantly!  Now Bettina might have to put her clothes back on!  :devil:


----------



## JeffD

Klassik said:


> It sounds like your sessions continue when you're asleep! What is a good auto-sexual dream like? What about a bad one?
> 
> Do you ever wake up with sticky fingers and wild hair? :devil:


I went out for a beer and woke up in Marrakech needing a shave.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

4'33" the opera


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

Variations on a theme of John Cage's 4'33


----------



## hpowders

Which composer said this quote:

"I have composed a symphony, but won't publish it because I don't want it labeled "contemporary". Like mostly everybody else, I hate contemporary music."


----------



## hpowders

I'm eating out tonight in a French restaurant for the first time.

Is Contenance Angloise a good dessert to order?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Yeah, but Richter helped the Rangers end their long championship drought. Of course, they could have kept John Vanbiesbrouck and had the same result as well probably!
> 
> *This is the thread where we talk about having sex with dead people.* Insensitivity, or perhaps excessive sensitivity, is our pockmark...err...trademark! :devil:


Oh yeah...I forgot. Sorry!


----------



## hpowders

Long-term poster converting to full-time lurker.

I'm new at this. What do I do?

I just want to get it right!!


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> 4'33" the opera


Now that would be my favorite opera!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Long-term poster converting to full-time lurker.
> 
> I'm new at this. What do I do?
> 
> I just want to get it right!!


Now why would you want to do that? I think the lurkers are the ones who have sex with real, live people. Us posters, OTOH, well... We have our dead people and our Sears catalogs! :lol:


----------



## Jacred

hpowders said:


> Long-term poster converting to full-time lurker.
> 
> I'm new at this. What do I do?
> 
> I just want to get it right!!


Step 1: Start a thread about permanently leaving the forum.


----------



## Granate

hpowders said:


> Favorite lurker who reads all your posts without you knowing about it.


This one:


Julius Seizure said:


> Col bruckner!!! is he baroque! I like his concerto grossoo and symphoyn 23!


I wish I could rescue more of its 20 spits in our faces.


----------



## Klassik

Jacred said:


> Step 1: Start a thread about permanently leaving the forum.


Are you suggesting that TC posters are guilty of attention whoring?


----------



## millionrainbows

Klassik said:


> Are you suggesting that TC posters are guilty of attention whoring?


No, just whoring. :lol:


----------



## millionrainbows

*Question: What do you hate most about Schoenberg's agenda to destroy the tonal tradition?*


----------



## Vaneyes

Don't repeal, repeal now, repeal later, replace now, replace later, use smoking gun infuser, other, don't know, don't care.

Related:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/18/...prod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share


----------



## Vaneyes

Bye, bye bye, bye bye blackbird, other, don't know, don't care.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Now that would be my favorite opera!


I thought you usually spend 4'33" doing something else.....


----------



## hpowders

Jacred said:


> Step 1: Start a thread about permanently leaving the forum.


It's been done many times. Just ask Josefiña Brahms.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I thought you usually spend 4'33" doing something else.....


Sometimes it lasts 4'33", but sometimes its more or less than that. It just depends on how fast the tuna are swimming! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Which part of Don Giovanni would you prefer to play with?


----------



## hpowders

Which pair do you favor:

Gesualdo & Gambert

Humpty & Dumpty

Jack & Jill

Don Giovanni & "The Peasants"


----------



## hpowders

SO DO IT!!!! 

I already did it!!!! ut:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> DO IT!!!!
> 
> I already did it!!!! ut:


Which thread did you "do it" in? We need to make sure we avoid that thread!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Which thread did you "do it" in? We need to make sure we avoid that thread!


Here today, gone mañana. What me worry.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Here today, gone mañana. What me worry.


Cum again?  Now I'll have to use a blacklight to make sure every thread on this forum is clean!


----------



## Granate

Vaneyes said:


> Bye, bye bye, bye bye blackbird, other, don't know, don't care.







Not your typical freak song...


----------



## hpowders

Any folks want to share a cab to the Proms?

One thing: I need to be dropped off at my girlfriend's house when it's over.


----------



## hpowders

Best way of learning harmony

Simply avoid ever getting married.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Proms, proms, proms, proms, proms, proms. Doesn't sound so nice...


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Best way of learning harmony
> 
> Simply avoid ever getting married.


Are you saying that eHarmony is a scam?!  What are you going to do with your eHarm profile?



Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Proms, proms, proms, proms, proms, proms. Doesn't sound so nice...


True Story: Klassik got kicked out of his high school prom. That was one of Klassik's proudest moments. Seriously. :angel:


----------



## Bettina

hpowders said:


> Best way of learning harmony
> 
> Simply avoid ever getting married.


Even better, get married to a dead person. Constant harmony all the time!


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Even better, get married to a dead person. Constant harmony all the time!


This is true. It's just you, the corpse, and the maggots living in perfect harmony in the coffin! :devil:


----------



## SiegendesLicht

Bettina said:


> Even better, get married to a dead person. Constant harmony all the time!


Or to a concert hall. _Elb-viel-Harmonie_ - most sublime harmony every day


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Are you saying that eHarmony is a scam?!  What are you going to do with your eHarm profile?
> 
> True Story: Klassik got kicked out of his high school prom. That was one of Klassik's proudest moments. Seriously. :angel:


Well if you had a normal name....anyone named klassik shouldn'ta even be admitted in the first place!


----------



## hpowders

Help needed:

I just wrote a new symphony, but refuse to publish it because I hate contemporary music.

What shall I do? What shall I do? What shall I do? What shall I do?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Which thread did you "do it" in? We need to make sure we avoid that thread!


Already Done it


----------



## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Even better, get married to a dead person. Constant harmony all the time!


Hold on. I'm writing this down...


----------



## hpowders

e.Harmony.com: Male, barely alive, loves Prokofiev's First Violin Sonata, seeking active female. Hurry! Many offers already! Don't miss out!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

SiegendesLicht said:


> Or to a concert hall. _Elb-viel-Harmonie_ - most sublime harmony every day


Can I marry my Guitar or my Triangle or even a Tape manipulation device.......... decisions, decisions, decisions....

http://www.f7sound.com/tapedest03.mp3


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Well if you had a normal name....anyone named klassik shouldn'ta even be admitted in the first place!


Yeah, I'm surprised they even let me on the property to begin with! It's surprising that I even showed up given that I was a school rebel! My buddy and I got our revenge though! :devil:



hpowders said:


> Help needed:
> 
> I just wrote a new symphony, but refuse to publish it because I hate contemporary music.
> 
> What shall I do? What shall I do? What shall I do? What shall I do?


Does it matter? It probably sucks anyway! If it does suck, it'll get the contemporary label anyway! 

Where's that Beethoven fellow? I just saw Bettina having sex with him here the other day. Now there's a composer! 



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Already Done it


Again, I need to know which threads need to be avoided for sanitary purposes!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> e.Harmony.com: Male, barely alive, loves Prokofiev's First Violin Sonata, seeking active female. Hurry! Many offers already! Don't miss out!


Prokofiev? Well, you might be barely living, but you can scratch Bettina off your eHarmony list even if you die!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Where's that Beethoven fellow? I just saw Bettina having sex with him here the other day. Now there's a composer!


I think I accidentally killed him with too much vigorous sex.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I think I accidentally killed him with too much vigorous sex.


So you're the one who killed Beethoven! I bet you killed Mozart and Tchaikovsky too!

She's the man eater that Hall & Oates sing about! :devil: I assume that Kiss on My Liszt is about you too?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Again, I need to know which threads need to be avoided for sanitary purposes!


Only those from the romantic period


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Only those from the romantic period


Oh, ok. I can live without those. You better keep your dingo away from the Baroque and Classical era threads though! :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Hi, my name is Pepsi Cola. I'd like to marry Jack Daniels. We can have lots of cute Jack Pepsis!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Hi, my name is Pepsi Cola. I'd like to marry Jack Daniels. We can have lots of cute Jack Pepsis!


You must be on Coke!


----------



## SiegendesLicht

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Can I marry my Guitar or my Triangle or even a Tape manipulation device.......... decisions, decisions, decisions....
> 
> http://www.f7sound.com/tapedest03.mp3


I think you can.
http://www.mtv.co.uk/sex/articles/objectophilia-meet-9-people-who-fancy-objects


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Only those from the romantic period


Also, it's best to avoid the threads about Bettina's periods.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Also, it's best to avoid the threads about Bettina's periods.


There's a lot of things that are romantic about Bettina, but her periods are not one of them!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Bettina said:


> Also, it's best to avoid the threads about Bettina's periods.


So, Bettina, what was your favorite period?


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> So, Bettina, what was your favorite period?


Don't spare any juicy details!

Ok, maybe spare us all the juicy details. But this is STI...the worse the details, the better? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> So, Bettina, what was your favorite period?


Probably my first period, when it was all new and exciting. It got old pretty fast! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Was Cornflakes The Last Significant Development In Cerialism?


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> Probably my first period, when it was all new and exciting. It got old pretty fast! :lol:


Kind of like the Contemporary Period then, yes? It's intriguing at first, but soon enough you just want to stick tampons in your ears! :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Klassik said:


> Kind of like the Contemporary Period then, yes? It's intriguing at first, but soon enough you just want to stick tampons in your ears! :lol:


Don't you have contemporary ears then?


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Was Cornflakes The Last Significant Development In Cerialism?


As I've mentioned before, Kellogg's Corn Flakes were invented to prevent self-touching. Clearly, Bettina and I have not had Kellogg's Corn Flakes in a very long time! :lol: Having said that, Bettina does like roosters and she did have a date with Tony the Tiger (Tony Dvořák that is!). :devil:


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Don't you have contemporary ears then?


I do have long hairs that grow on my earlobes, but those aren't tampon strings. If I put any crotch accessories on my ears, I think it would be codpieces. Oh, and I would wear ear trumpets! :devil:


----------



## SiegendesLicht

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Can I marry my Guitar or my Triangle or even a Tape manipulation device.......... decisions, decisions, decisions....
> 
> http://www.f7sound.com/tapedest03.mp3


I would go ahead and really do it - if I was not married already. And I mean that seriously now.


----------



## Klassik

STI: Tone rows, cornrows, Corn Flakes, or corncobs?

I'm going with cornrows, Bo Derek style from the movie _10_.


----------



## Granate

Newbie:
Hello from a violent student


----------



## Klassik

Granate said:


> Newbie:
> Hello from a violent student


Beethoven, is that you? :lol:

Any grand plans for your next post, Granate? :devil:


----------



## Granate

Klassik said:


> Beethoven, is that you? :lol:
> 
> Any grand plans for your next post, Granate? :devil:


_#IronyModeOff_ One movement and one recording to finish the seven Mahler No.4 recordings of the challenge. I'm not happy with them. I know it is a difficult symphony to get right.

If you didn't check out

Also, post No.666

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What is "gag me with a spoon" ? Does it hurt? I'd like to try it!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> What is "gag me with a spoon" ? Does it hurt? I'd like to try it!


Valley girl talk! Like, totally! I don't know, don't ask me. Bettina is the California girl here! :lol:

Maybe it's related to corncobs? I don't know!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

...I'm sure!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Valley girl talk! Like, totally! I don't know, don't ask me. Bettina is the California girl here! :lol:
> 
> Maybe it's related to corncobs? I don't know!


----------



## Vaneyes

*"1311 pages."

*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Maye we should celebrate the music from 1311


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

You mean page 1311?


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Maye we should celebrate the music from 1311


Well, at least we aren't "celebrating" the "music" from 311!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> You mean page 1311?


I was thinking the year but that would be fine too


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Psalms and songs we'd like to throw away.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Well, at least we aren't "celebrating" the "music" from 311!


Biggest hit that year was "Feed them to the Lions" the opera


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Psalms and songs we'd like to throw away, a celebration!


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Biggest hit that year was "Feed them to the Lions" the opera





Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Psalms and songs we'd like to throw away, a celebration!


I was thinking of the band 311. I'd like to throw away their music! I'm sure whatever they had in the year 311 was better! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese




----------



## Vaneyes

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


>


Perhaps related:

"Donald Trump says that his prenuptial agreement with Melania Knauss has made his marriage stronger. (Though it is worth noting that he's been down this road twice before; both Ivana and Marla Maples contested their agreements-and lost, Trump points out.) 'It's a hard, painful, ugly tool,' says Trump. "Believe me, there's nothing fun about it. But there comes a time when you have to say, 'Darling, I think you're magnificent, and I care for you deeply, but if things don't work out, this is what you're going to get.' "

-With This Ring (and This Contract) I Thee Wed, Geoffrey Gray, New York Magazine, 12.3.16


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Vaneyes said:


> Perhaps related:
> 
> "Donald Trump says that his prenuptial agreement with Melania Knauss has made his marriage stronger. (Though it is worth noting that he's been down this road twice before; both Ivana and Marla Maples contested their agreements-and lost, Trump points out.) 'It's a hard, painful, ugly tool,' says Trump. "Believe me, there's nothing fun about it. But there comes a time when you have to say, 'Darling, I think you're magnificent, and I care for you deeply, but if things don't work out, this is what you're going to get.' "
> 
> -With This Ring (and This Contract) I Thee Wed, Geoffrey Gray, New York Magazine, 12.3.16


Just like an Episode of the Apprentice - "Your Fired"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Would have Mozart used a Mellotron if he had one?


----------



## hpowders

Which would be your favorite:

1. Braiding your hair in corn rows

2. In school, sitting in one of the last two rows

3. Charming your date with profound tone rows

4. Listening to the cello performed by Leonard Rose

5. Being dead and then one day you a-rose


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Which would be your favorite:
> 
> 1. Braiding your hair in corn rows
> 
> *2. In school, sitting in one of the last two rows*
> 
> 3. Charming your date with profound tone rows
> 
> 4. Listening to the cello performed by Leonard Rose


That was Klassik's strategy back in the day. You can see scout out all the good looking women from back there! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Poster quiz:

Name a poster who specifically comes here once in a while to get stimulated, and I don't mean from music.

1. Big Ralphie

2. Don the Animal

3. Luigi Balls

4. Mario the executioner

5. Other


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Poster quiz:
> 
> Name a poster who specifically comes here once and a while to get stimulated, and I don't mean from music.
> 
> 1. Big Ralphie
> 
> 2. Don the Animal
> 
> 3. Luigi Balls
> 
> 4. Mario the executioner
> 
> 5. Other


5. Klassik. Oh, you said "once and a while." Does all the time count as "once and a while?"


----------



## hpowders

Hi! I'm Brenda and I have a big crush on Beethoven. I don't even care that he's dead!!!

Reactions?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> 5. Klassik. Oh, you said "once and a while." Does all the time count as "once and a while?"


No. This counts as OBSESSION!!!


----------



## Klassik

I knew a woman in school named Kandy. I sure did like her "Beethoven!" :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> I knew a woman in school named Kandy. I sure did like her "Beethoven!" :devil:


Hopefully she didn't B Flat.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Hi! I'm Brenda and I have a big crush on Beethoven. I don't even care that he's dead!!!
> 
> Reactions?


Brenda too? I guess Bettina has competition. Don't tell Bettina about Chloé though. Not only does she want Beethoven too, but she has a diacritic!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Hoepefully she didn't B Flat.


She B#! Well, more like nicely rounded than sharp, but not flat. Maybe B Major then? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> No. This counts as OBSESSION!!!


If it's wrong to take one's pants off before getting on STI, then I don't want to be right! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Brenda too? I guess Bettina has competition. Don't tell Bettina about Chloé though. Not only does she want Beethoven too, but she has a diacritic!


I wonder if she uses Accent when she grills her steaks.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> If it's wrong to take one's pants off before getting on STI, then I don't want to be right! :devil:


I have my Bach to the computer screen. You're safe.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I wonder if she uses Accent when she grills her steaks.


Accent and Mrs. Dash! She's _very_ well seasoned! You know how hot hyphenated last names are (ok, not really)! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I have my Bach to the computer screen. You're safe.


Back door? Are you sure about this? :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Accent and Mrs. Dash! She's _very_ well seasoned! You know how hot hyphenated last names are (ok, not really)! :lol:


Three hymenated names are even more exciting.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Three hymenated names are even more exciting.


You know the names of three virgins?  Bruckner doesn't count! :lol:


----------



## hpowders

Anybody can provide round-trip transportation to the Proms from Florida?

There's $15 in it for you!!


----------



## Klassik

STI: If something bad happened to you, would you want mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Beethoven? Or would you just rather die a peaceful death?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> You know the names of three virgins?  Bruckner doesn't count! :lol:


Brahms, Beethoven, Vivaldi.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> STI: If something bad happened to you, would you want mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Beethoven? Or would you just rather die a peaceful death?


Uhhhh....yeah....


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Brahms, Beethoven, Vivaldi.


Vivaldi supposedly had a lady friend at one point, but he never admitted it. As for the other two, well, :lol:. It would be impressive if they had intact hymen!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Vivaldi supposedly had a lady friend at one point, but he never admitted it. As for the other two, well, :lol:. It would be impressive if they had intact hymen!


All I know is Vivaldi was very well-red.


----------



## hpowders

Piano scams:

I will start: 

changing all the black keys to white keys and white keys to black keys

Selling a Steinwoo Model D Concert Grand for $43,000 more than it is worth on 42nd St.


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> STI: If something bad happened to you, would you want mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Beethoven? Or would you just rather die a peaceful death?


Even worse would be from Tchaikovsky. He would french me to death.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Even worse would be from Tchaikovsky. He would french me to death.


Just imagine what Saint-Saëns would do!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Just imagine what Saint-Saëns would do!


The animal!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> The animal!


I wonder if Saint-Saëns is fantasy worthy for Bettina. If so, would she do it to _Wild A$$es: Swift Animals_ from The Carnival of the Animals? He might want it in his wild backdoor!  Of course, _Pianists_ would make sense too!


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I wonder if Saint-Saëns is fantasy worthy for Bettina. If so, would she do it to _Wild A$$es: Swift Animals_ from The Carnival of the Animals? He might want it in his wild backdoor!  Of course, _Pianists_ would make sense too!


I've totally done it to (with?) Saint-Saëns, because of his umlaut as well as his music! :lol: I love his organ symphony (heh, heh) and the concertos and sonatas. I do enjoy Carnival of the Animals too, but it doesn't turn me on. Maybe I should try it while thinking about backdoors! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've totally done it to (with?) Saint-Saëns, because of his umlaut as well as his music! :lol: I love his organ symphony (heh, heh) and the concertos and sonatas. I do enjoy Carnival of the Animals too, but it doesn't turn me on. Maybe I should try it while thinking about backdoors!


I guess to is technically correct, but you wish it was with! :lol: What's it like doing it with Saint-Saëns? Does his first name ever throw you off? 

I really like Saint-Saëns' music, but it feels strange even admitting to it. I don't know why it's strange to admit to liking his music, but maybe that's just me.  I'm glad that you've found him in bed though! :devil:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> I guess to is technically correct, but you wish it was with! :lol: What's it like doing it with Saint-Saëns? Does his first name ever throw you off?
> 
> I really like Saint-Saëns' music, but it feels strange even admitting to it. I don't know why it's strange to admit to liking his music, but maybe that's just me.  I'm glad that you've found him in bed though! :devil:


You're right about his first name - Camille sounds so feminine! I usually call him by his last name; I love those flirtatious dots on the e!

Yeah, people generally don't talk that much about liking Saint-Saëns. I get the sense that's he's usually not considered one of the greats. Perhaps people think of his music as "easy listening." Carnival of the Animals might be to blame for that! In fact, he didn't publish it during his lifetime (except for the Swan) because he was worried that it might damage his reputation.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> You're right about his first name - Camille sounds so feminine! I usually call him by his last name; I love those flirtatious dots on the e!
> 
> Yeah, people generally don't talk that much about liking Saint-Saëns. I get the sense that's he's usually not considered one of the greats. Perhaps people think of his music as "easy listening." Carnival of the Animals might be to blame for that! In fact, he didn't publish it during his lifetime (except for the Swan) because he was worried that it might damage his reputation.


Sleeping with Saint-Saëns is like sleeping with both genders! Well, something like that at least, I guess a woman wouldn't want to go backdoor on you. Then again, what role does the backdoor play in lesbian sex? I'm not really sure! :lol:

Sometimes I think there is a bit of a bias against French, Italian, and Czech composers. Well, other countries too, but composers from those countries might be most slighted. Their "light" music is loved, but they don't get the respect that others get. Oh well, that discussion is not sexy. The Organ Symphony, however, is sexy! Do you like an E. Power Biggs performance of it? How sexy must that name be! It almost doesn't need a diacritic! Of course, Virgil Fox is foxy, huh? :lol:


----------



## Bettina

Klassik said:


> Sleeping with Saint-Saëns is like sleeping with both genders! Well, something like that at least, I guess a woman wouldn't want to go backdoor on you. Then again, what role does the backdoor play in lesbian sex? I'm not really sure! :lol:
> 
> Sometimes I think there is a bit of a bias against French, Italian, and Czech composers. Well, other countries too, but composers from those countries might be most slighted. Their "light" music is loved, but they don't get the respect that others get. Oh well, that discussion is not sexy. The Organ Symphony, however, is sexy! Do you like an E. Power Biggs performance of it? How sexy must that name be! It almost doesn't need a diacritic! Of course, Virgil Fox is foxy, huh? :lol:


I've never incorporated the backdoor into any of my girl-on-girl action...I don't think I'd want to put my fingers in there, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone doing it to me either!

Yes, the Organ Symphony is hugely sexy! I love the climactic moment when the organ enters, so to speak. I didn't know that E. Power Biggs made a recording of that work. I'll have to check it out.


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> I've never incorporated the backdoor into any of my girl-on-girl action...I don't think I'd want to put my fingers in there, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone doing it to me either!
> 
> Yes, the Organ Symphony is hugely sexy! I love the climactic moment when the organ enters, so to speak. I didn't know that E. Power Biggs made a recording of that work. I'll have to check it out.


I believe Ormandy recorded that symphony with E. Power Biggs, Virgil Fox, and Michael Murray. I like the Biggs recording, but the Murray one is very powerful too. It's been a while since I've heard the recording with Fox.

I figured that girls were smart enough to stay out of each other's backdoors! :lol: Well, I think most guys are too (I certainly don't see any sexual appeal to it), but I guess Saint-Saëns and Tchaikovsky have to use any hole that they can find!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

hpowders said:


> Uhhhh....yeah....


Get him to sign a royality contract them give him mouth to mouth


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

How do I relearn correct fingering?
Ask Bettina


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> How do I relearn correct fingering?
> Ask Bettina


Fingering of what? Be specific, Clitorific!!!


----------



## Vox Gabrieli

I set my alarm to 4:33am every morning.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Fingering of what? Be specific, Clitorific!!!


Well, you don't have to be so vulva..err...vulgar about it, Mulva!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Well, you don't have to be so vulva..err...vulgar about it, Mulva!


I just don't want any Miss Understanding.


----------



## hpowders

I just got a craving for some Vulveeta cheese on dildo-seeded dingo bread. A delicacy in the outBach.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I just got a craving for some Vulveeta cheese on dildo-seeded dingo bread. A delicacy in the outBach.


So what you're saying is that you want some yeasty Vulveeta?


----------



## millionrainbows

*If Mozart were alive today, he'd be Danny Elfman

*


----------



## hpowders

In the movie Sudden Impact, Clint Eastwood's co-star was a 44 Magnum. Is there anything of that caliber in classical music?


----------



## hpowders

30,000 BC Listening Chain: The best of caveperson classical music.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> 30,000 BC Listening Chain: *The best of caveperson classical music*.


It would have to be Beethoven, right? The greatest caveperson composer ever? :lol:


----------



## Klassik

STI: What are your Desert Island Porno Books, Movies, and Snacks?


----------



## hpowders

I have a Mozart work that is not on the TC recommended Mozart Listening List.

I will sell it below cost. I just want to do what is right!!


----------



## Klassik

STI: Who is your favorite 8th tier composer?

What about your favorite 69th tier composer? :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> STI: Who is your favorite 8th tier composer?
> 
> What about your favorite 69th tier composer? :devil:


1. D. Scarlatti

2. Liszt


----------



## hpowders

Hard to believe: The CEO of Kelloggs listens to Haydn; shuns Serialism!!!


----------



## hpowders

Hello from a violin virtuoso!!

Newbie wishing to compare G strings-synthetic and gut.


----------



## hpowders

Coffins at concerts.

Any dead people attend concerts in your experience?


----------



## hpowders

Announcement: I am moving Franz Schmidt from a level 8 composer to a level 6. He's better than I first thought.


----------



## hpowders

Brenda Lee's I'm Sorry or Brenda's Beethoven?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Hard to believe: The CEO of Kelloggs listens to Haydn; shuns Serialism!!!


I don't know, I've heard that Haydn is considered "touching" music. Perhaps he listens to Schubert instead? :lol:



hpowders said:


> Coffins at concerts.
> 
> Any dead people attend concerts in your experience?


STI: Why are there groaning noises coming from the coffins at concerts? :devil:

At least there aren't any coughing noises. Well, unless it's Chopin's coffin coughing!


----------



## hpowders

Gabriel Ortiz said:


> I set my alarm to 4:33am every morning.


You don't need to. You can undertake the same activity at 6:33AM.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> You don't need to. You can undertake the same activity at 6:33AM.


True. I do it at 4:33am, 6:33am, and all sorts of other times as well! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Grouper sandwich or Groupings of composers?


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> True. I do it at 4:33am, 6:33am, and all sorts of other times as well! :devil:


Recalibrating your clock?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Grouper sandwich or Groupings of composers?


I thought it was groping of composers?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Donald could teach them


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Recalibrating your clock?


Hey, it's always 4:33 somewhere!  Or something like that! While I have trained my bowel movements, there are other bodily functions I have not been able to domesticate yet!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Latest new wave music from downunder


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Latest new wave music from downunder


Just be thankful he didn't do a duet with Cosby


----------



## hpowders

I will be expanding my horizons to include the main forum, where I can at least get "paid" for what I write....say, about one post a month.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I will be expanding my horizons to include the main forum, where I can at least get "paid" for what I write....say, about one post a month.


Sorry, but you can only be paid in likes. You better "like" it or else!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Sorry, but you can only be paid in likes. You better "like" it or else!


I like "likes" it, but it's really unnecessary. I prefer a nice pat on the head or.......for a job well-done.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> View attachment 96077
> 
> 
> His model wife was French. I'm sure he *Frenched* her. Plus, I'm sure he liked French food.


Did he trim things


----------



## hpowders

Post videos here of you listening to classical music.


----------



## hpowders

Random thoughts and discoveries which have nothing to do with anything but will get you a badly needed increase in your post count.


----------



## hpowders

Coughing at concerts research project:

Please indicate on the form provided whether the coughs you encounter at concerts are primarily dry coughs or is there mostly sputum involved. Color of phlegm, if noticeable?


----------



## Scopitone

If Hilary Hahn won't marry me, you think maybe Alice Sara Ott would?

I'd hate to settle, but...


----------



## hpowders

Scopitone said:


> If Hilary Hahn won't marry me, you think maybe Alice Sara Ott would?
> 
> I'd hate to settle, but...


Yeah, I would hate to see you have to marry down.


----------



## hpowders

Ranking composers

I'll start.

Hey Beethoven, I'll rank you so low, you will have to look up to look down.


----------



## hpowders

hpowders said:


> Ranking composers
> 
> I'll start.
> 
> Hey Beethoven, I'll rank you so low, you will have to look up to look down.


I'll continue:

Hey Tchaikovsky, I think of you often.

Off'n' on yo' mamma.


----------



## hpowders

Should there be warning labels on some CD's, that very intense music could possibly cause heart attacks?


----------



## hpowders

I find I can breath better on the Main forum than I can on the Community forum.
Anyone else observe this?


----------



## hpowders

Should warning labels accompany certain provocative TC threads as being perhaps, too intense for posters with weak hearts, such as 'hatred of contemporary music' and also the 'Wagner threads'?


----------



## Art Rock

hpowders said:


> Should there be warning labels on some CD's, that very intense music could possibly cause heart attacks?


This reminded me of Victor Borge:


----------



## hpowders

Art Rock said:


> This reminded me of Victor Borge:


That is so freakin' funny!!! :lol::lol::lol:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Sorry, but you can only be paid in likes. You better "like" it or else!


I just want to see my post count rise.

How come whenever I quit for the day, next morning I always seem to have 2-3 fewer posts to my credit?

Do they have little TC elves doing mischief late into the evening?


----------



## hpowders

Rank all active TC posters by Tiers, 1-433.
Don't hold Bach.
ToS temporarily suspended just for this poll!!


----------



## hpowders

I hear coughing predominates on the Wagner and Atonal threads among TC posters. Possible causes?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> I hear coughing predominates on the Wagner and Atonal threads among TC posters. Possible causes?


*COUGH*Anti-Semite*COUGH*

*COUGH*Rubbish music*COUGH*

Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about! *COUGH COUGH*


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> *COUGH*Anti-Semite*COUGH*
> 
> *COUGH*Rubbish music*COUGH*
> 
> Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about! *COUGH COUGH*


 :lol: I could post this thread idea on the main forum and it would go on for months.


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> :lol: I could post this thread idea on the main forum and it would go on for months.


The pseudointellectuals there are on Pseudoephedrine. That may cause hacking coughs...and hacks posting about Wagner and atonal music! Pseudointellectual hacks specifically!


----------



## Scopitone

Every time I try to think up a STI, it turns out to be an Awesomely Clever and Wicked Smart Thread Idea instead. What am I to do?


----------



## Klassik

Scopitone said:


> Every time I try to think up a STI, it turns out to be an Awesomely Clever and Wicked Smart Thread Idea instead. What am I to do?


This is a common problem faced by us STIers. Just post away and let your brilliance be known!


----------



## Scopitone

Klassik said:


> This is a common problem faced by us STIers. Just post away and let your brilliance be known!


But I don't wish to waste my genius on the 433.

You see the problem.


----------



## Klassik

STI: What's worse, coughing classical music fans or disinterested Neil Diamond fans?

So it seems that Neil Diamond had a concert in Houston this past weekend. Shockingly, I did not attend! :lol: It seems that the audience was not really into the performance according to this article in the newspaper. What a shame. Bettina could have showed Neil who his true #1 fan is by being lewd in the audience! :devil:

http://www.chron.com/entertainment/...oyota-Center-his-fans-11293879.php?ipid=hpctp


----------



## Scopitone

Klassik said:


> STI: What's worse, coughing classical music fans or disinterested Neil Diamond fans?
> 
> So it seems that Neil Diamond had a concert in Houston this past weekend. Shockingly, I did not attend! :lol: It seems that the audience was not really into the performance according to this article in the newspaper. What a shame. Bettina could have showed Neil who his true #1 fan is by being lewd in the audience! :devil:
> 
> http://www.chron.com/entertainment/...oyota-Center-his-fans-11293879.php?ipid=hpctp


Based on that photo, dude looks amazing for nearly 80.

I went to a concert back in 1995 (Hootie and the Blowfish) that was like that. The crowd were totally dead, and the band was frustrated. But that was likely because they were a bar band, and a 15,000 person outdoor shed was too much for them. (I'd seen them previously in small club with about 800 people, and they were fantastic.)


----------



## millionrainbows

*Extended Tonality in Wagner as a Metaphor for Extension*


----------



## millionrainbows

Klassik said:


> *COUGH*Anti-Semite*COUGH*
> 
> *COUGH*Rubbish music*COUGH*
> 
> Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about! *COUGH COUGH*


*COUGH* *COUGH*….Sniff….*COUGH* *COUGH* *AHHH-JEW!*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Scopitone said:


> But I don't wish to waste my genius on the 433.
> 
> You see the problem.


Don't worry 433 Block happens to us all


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Composers that are great for a moshpit. Stravinsky or Mussorgsky? \m/  \m/ ...wait: John Cage's 4'33" would be awesome!


----------



## Klassik

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Composers that are great for a moshpit. Stravinsky or Mussorgsky? \m/  \m/ ...wait: John Cage's 4'33" would be awesome!










.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Klassik said:


> View attachment 96102
> 
> .


Haha! He should be in the pit!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Which composers would you put in a "wall of death"?


----------



## Larkenfield

National Enquirer Headlines:

Bach Secretly Admitted to Sex Clinic at Anna Magdalena's Request
Beethoven Deafness Hoax Exposed!
Mozart "Prodigy" was a Midget in Disguise
Separated at Birth: Johannes Brahms and Orson Welles
Carmen Found Dead of Lung Cancer: Opera World Mourns
Alma Mahler Busted in Motel Threesome with Gropius and Zemlinsky
Brahms, Wagner Twitter War Heats Up!
Stockhausen Electrocuted in Bathtub Accident While Composing
Chopin Dies From Second Hand Cigar Smoke
Clara Schumann & Johannes Brahms Secret Instagrams Hacked
Schubert _Unfinished_ Symphony Completed by Frank Zappa
Hugo Wolf Fails Rorschach Inkblot Test... Admitted for Observation
Bruckner Scores at 72 with Madonna: No More a Virgin
Long Suspected... Gilbert & Sullivan Are Finally Outed
Rachmaninoff Hooked on Opioids after Failure of 1st Symphony
Furtwangler Goes Atonal
Toscanini Slows Down Tempos After Doctor's Warning
Why Fritz Reiner Turned Into A Nice Guy: But Latest Recording Flops
Franz Liszt Goes Electric at Royal Albert Hall!
Jenny Lind and Janis Joplin in New Duo Album: Lind Now in Hospital
Pogorelich On His Latest Batch Of Eccentricities: Blames Argerich
Lang Lang Disses _Lulu_ In LaLa Airport: _US Travel Ban Impose_d

♬


----------



## hpowders

Did Bach write any good Bar Mitzvah music? I would need it in two more Saturdays. Urgent!!!


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Did Bach write any good Bar Mitzvah music? I would need it in two more Saturdays. Urgent!!!


No, but I hear Wagner might be available. Oh, wait...

:tiphat:


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> No, but I hear Wagner might be available. Oh, wait...
> 
> :tiphat:


Wagner? Only if his first name is Joe.


----------



## hpowders

Composers & Food

I wonder, did Wagner enjoy Hämm?


----------



## hpowders

Being that roaches are nocturnal creatures, would they prefer listening to Chopin's Nocturnes, rather than Respighi's Fountains of Rome?


----------



## Klassik

hpowders said:


> Composers & Food
> 
> I wonder, did Wagner enjoy Hämm?


Wagner says, "Not by the hairs of my necky, neck, neck!"

Ok, not really. I'm sure Wagner loved to eat häm just to troll people!


----------



## hpowders

Klassik said:


> Wagner says, "Not by the hairs of my necky, neck, neck!"
> 
> Ok, not really. I'm sure Wagner loved to eat häm just to troll people!


Did Wagner incorporate Hämm Christian Andersen's words into his librettos?

Seems everybody did.


----------



## hpowders

Newbie here: I keep noticing "Viewing Attachment" for quite a few posters.

Are there a lot of posters going steady on TC? And we can actually observe them?

I just want to understand!!


----------



## hpowders

Someone asked me to describe STI, so I played him the following:


----------



## Scopitone

Composers who are downright terrible, but "we" like them anyway


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Did Bach write any good Bar Mitzvah music? I would need it in two more Saturdays. Urgent!!!


cough cough 18th C Lutheran cough cough anti-semitic cough cough


----------



## Scopitone

hpowders said:


> Composers & Food
> 
> I wonder, did Wagner enjoy Hämm?


Banjo!


----------



## Klassik

STI: Good A*s Music

I like Boléro when dealing with a nice..ahem...bum. :devil:


----------



## Scopitone

Best Composers for Making Natalie Portman Love You*


*asking for a friend**




**I'm the "friend"


----------



## hpowders

Granate said:


> Newbie:
> Hello from a violent student


You've come to the right place. Go 1.5 km, then hang a right, another 0.5 km, make a left and you will see the Wagner Forums.

I hear OJ Simpson will be joining there really soon too.

You should feel at home there.


----------



## Granate

Larkenfield said:


> National Enquirer Headlines:
> 
> Bach Secretly Admitted to Sex Clinic at Anna Magdalena's Request
> Beethoven Deafness Hoax Exposed!
> Mozart "Prodigy" was a Midget in Disguise
> Separated at Birth: Johannes Brahms and Orson Welles
> Carmen Found Dead of Lung Cancer: Opera World Mourns
> Alma Mahler Busted in Motel Threesome with Gropius and Zemlinsky
> Brahms, Wagner Twitter War Heats Up!
> Stockhausen Electrocuted in Bathtub Accident While Composing
> Chopin Dies From Second Hand Cigar Smoke
> Clara Schumann & Johannes Brahms Secret Instagrams Hacked
> Schubert _Unfinished_ Symphony Completed by Frank Zappa
> Hugo Wolf Fails Rorschach Inkblot Test... Admitted for Observation
> Bruckner Scores at 72 with Madonna: No More a Virgin
> Long Suspected... Gilbert & Sullivan Are Finally Outed
> Rachmaninoff Hooked on Opioids after Failure of 1st Symphony
> Furtwangler Goes Atonal
> Toscanini Slows Down Tempos After Doctor's Warning
> Why Fritz Reiner Turned Into A Nice Guy: But Latest Recording Flops
> Franz Liszt Goes Electric at Royal Albert Hall!
> Jenny Lind and Janis Joplin in New Duo Album: Lind Now in Hospital
> Pogorelich On His Latest Batch Of Eccentricities: Blames Argerich
> Lang Lang Disses _Lulu_ In LaLa Airport: _US Travel Ban Imposed_


We need a thread out of this in the CF. Saved in favourites.

Wolfgang Wagner on pre-trial detention after 29 years of BF Command: opacity of ticket sales under investigation. Eva and Katharina reported to fear external audit.

*More on this story*


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## hpowders

Rank the 555 Scarlatti Sonatas by Tier level. Here are mine. Agree?


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## hpowders

Was Stupid Thread Ideas the final stage of evolution in posting sophistication?


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## hpowders

Which opera females turn you on?

Brünnhilde really lights my fire!


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## hpowders

My parents were misanthropic and offered me a solitary choice:

1. Become a Greek Orthodox Priest on Patmos and read passages of Revelations every day in my small cell in the hermitage

2. Love classical music

I chose choice 2. 

Did I make a mistake?


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## Kjetil Heggelund

New STI: How was your day in three words.
Mine: Ate some food.


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## Bettina

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> New STI: How was your day in three words.
> Mine: Ate some food.


Listened to Beethoven!


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## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Perhaps he's waiting, but I'm not ready to join him yet.  I'll enjoy my fantasies for the rest of my life, and what happens next is completely unknown!


Oh, okay. I "misread" your priorities.


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## hpowders

Bettina said:


> Listened to Beethoven!


What if he said "jump"!


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## Bettina

hpowders said:


> What if he said "jump"!


I'm not sure if I'd know what he was saying...my German comprehension skills are pretty rusty. :lol:


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## hpowders

Bettina said:


> I'm not sure if I'd know what he was saying...my German comprehension skills are pretty rusty. :lol:


Well you seem to be able to write German pretty well. All you two would need is a notebook.


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## Kjetil Heggelund

Walked some miles.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese

In whose shoes..............


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## Kjetil Heggelund

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> In whose shoes..............


My hiking shoes.


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## hpowders

Anybody mentioning love of classical music, easing the entry into college fraternities and sororities?

Share your stories here.


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## hpowders

Unknown, inactive posters from the past, we should talk about.


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## hpowders

Bach Cantata sale!! Way under price paid.

I didn't realize it was church music. Can't play at home!!

My stupidity is your gain!


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## Vaneyes

Cantatas wrecked my life. News at Eleven.


----------



## hpowders

Anyone else feel isolated after their parents locked them up in the cellar for listening to classical music, hoping to break your habit?


----------



## hpowders

I feel really, really good when a dumb thread drops quickly off the first TC page. How about you?


----------



## hpowders

Guess which roman numeral Current Listening will be at in 2027.


----------



## Vaneyes

*"Gong Show tickets await for STI members. Hola!"
*


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## hpowders

Music Tours: We will be exploring for American music. Bryce Canyon and Yellowstone. Ten Days. Bitcoin.


----------



## hpowders

How come on TC I get a lot of "likes" but at home I seem to be "unliked"? Why the disconnect?


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## Dr Johnson

hpowders said:


> How come on TC I get a lot of "likes" but at home I seem to be "unliked"? Why the disconnect?


Do you let those at home know that you love Beethoven's Eroica?


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## Dr Johnson

Ranking composers by pondering how they would fare over 8 furlongs at Newmarket against Frankel.


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## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Do you let those at home know that you love Beethoven's Eroica?


No. I tell them I hate Liszt, Bruckner and Renée Fleming and that Beethoven's "message" is no longer relevant in today's world.


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## hpowders

Dr Johnson said:


> Ranking composers by pondering how they would fare over 8 furlongs at Newmarket against Frankel.


Peter Ilyich Secretariat. Even money.


----------



## Art Rock

What do objectivists think of the thoughts of subjectivists on the subject of objectivity?


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## hpowders

Responding to "five greatest composers as Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Haydn and Brahms."

This could be my list too except substitute Bruckner for Brahms, Debussy for Bach, Pleyel for Haydn and Mahler for Beethoven.

Glad I found someone who is in synch with me!!


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## Pat Fairlea

Art Rock said:


> What do objectivists think of the thoughts of subjectivists on the subject of objectivity?


That would be an ecumenical question


----------



## millionrainbows

*The Harmonic Implications of Schoenberg's String Trio*


Paperback: 1 page
Publisher: Faber & Faber; 35075th edition (January 1, 1982)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0571196586
ISBN-13: 978-0571196586
Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.7 x 9.2 inches


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## Portamento

ja ja ja ne ne ne ja jaja ne ne en eja ja aja ne ne ne ja ja a en ene ne ja jaa aijene ne en jaa ja ja ne ne neja aj ajan enenene jajajajaje ene ne enaa ja aja ene en ene ja a ajaja ne en een eajajaj enenen jaja nene ja ajenen ajajen anejn ejnejnenej aje jane e eyy jaj aja eyy nana e bayb bab jaj eyy flubb jaa

If a piece of classical music is destined to put someone in a coma, it is this one. It's so f****** majestic.






On a serious note, Henning Christiansen (a close friend of Joseph Beuys) has become one of my favorite experimental composers.

Get high with me (on a less serious note).


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## hpowders

I got the inspiration for arranging my walk-in closet in accessible tiers, thanks to the composer/tiers thread. Thanks!!


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What's your favorite alcoholfree beer on a Saturday night?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Who played the BEST trill ever? Just wondering.


----------



## hpowders

You finally made it to the desert island with your favorite classical CDs.

Anyone else feel isolated?


----------



## hpowders

When Rigoletto found Gilda dead in the sack, did he play a CD of the Verdi Requiem after that? I couldn't tell. The curtain blocked what happened next.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover:
1. You Just slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. You don't need to be coy, Roy
4. Just get yourself free
5. Hop on the bus, Gus
6. You don't need to discuss much
7. Just drop off the key, Lee
8. And get yourself free
9...Hey, he said 50!?!


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## Kjetil Heggelund

What are your 13 (thirteen) favorite complete Shostakovich cycles?


----------



## hpowders

Hey y'all. I just recorded Brünnhilde's Immolation Scene from Götterdämmerung and here's the tape:
How does it compare with Kirsten Flagstad's and Birgit Nilsson's performances?
If you don't have anything nice to say, I don't want to hear it!!!


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## Granate

hpowders said:


> Hey y'all. I just recorded Brünnhilde's Immolation Scene from Götterdämmerung and here's the tape:
> How does it compare with Kirsten Flagstad's and Birgit Nilsson's performances?
> If you don't have anything nice to say, I don't want to hear it!!!


I would totally believe it if the picture had Anna Netrebko in a baby body.


----------



## hpowders

How to insult 217 active posters who came before, with one sentence:

"That is the best post on this whole thread!!!"


----------



## hpowders

I'm thinking of donating my 53,949 likes received to charity. Is this a good idea? Any tax liabilities? Maybe I should just keep 'em? I'm a'scared!!!


----------



## hpowders

Anyone else feel isolated for their love of counter-tenors?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Swam in lake


----------



## Portamento

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> Swam in lake


Lake in swam! 

Bet you didn't see _that_ one coming!


----------



## hpowders

Do we overestimate the need for an orchestra in performing symphonies?


----------



## hpowders

Please help me to enjoy tonal music.


----------



## hpowders

Do Mahler symphonies really need a conductor?


----------



## hpowders

Make me like Karajan. I dare you!!! :devil:


----------



## hpowders

Confidential list of poster infractions. Vital! Bitcoin.


----------



## millionrainbows

I've tried several times to stage performances of 4'33" in Texas, but they inevitably all turn to the same: some guy yelling "Lynrd Skynrd!!" in the background...


----------



## Tallisman

STI

'Castrati corner'

'The dubious political views of Guillaume du Fay'

'Poll: Messiah vs Messiaen'


----------



## Tallisman

'Can Bach beat this video game composer?'


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Do solo guitarists need a conductor and who?


----------



## hpowders

Anyone want to share a cab to the Proms?


----------



## hpowders

My mother just disowned me. She opened the front door and a pretty girl was standing next to her. I exclaimed "A lass!!"

She could have sworn I said "alas".

Oh well, what could I have done with $17,000,000 anyway?


----------



## hpowders

Wagner vs. The Jews!!

One night only. Closed circuit. No tapings. Bitcoin.


----------



## hpowders

Have a lot of posters lost their minds? I ask because I see a lot of posters "searching forums".


----------



## hpowders

Pick your favorite:

1. Left nostril

2. Right nostril

3. Navel


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do we overstimate the fingering?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Pair a pair with the Sound of an Instrument


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Poll: If Music Is Written With Rice Paper, Is It Food?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

What's your desert island city? Yes, you can bring your favorite city (only 1). So, answer me


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Kjetil Heggelund said:


> What's your desert island city? Yes, you can bring your favorite city (only 1). So, answer me


Coober Pedy because its got a space ship and its in the desert


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

The Artistic Merit Of Andre Rieu's 9th (DVD)?


----------



## Pat Fairlea

Bruckner & Dvorak: tonal or anton-al?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Schoenberg vs Andre Rieu*


----------



## Granate

Why the HVK hatred?

Poll: "If it is SACD, it is not for all, and if it is for all, it is Spotify Free"


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*4'33" vs Gangnam Style*


----------



## Granate

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *4'33" vs Gangman Style*


Gangnam Style on loop for one hour


----------



## Vaneyes

Hardware, firmware, software, other, forgot, don't know, don't care.


----------



## Vaneyes

Create a name with three STIers (game).


----------



## arpeggio

How many times can we be accused of overreacting before we are no longer be guilty of overreacting.


----------



## Vaneyes

arpeggio said:


> How many times can we be accused of overreacting before we are no longer be guilty of overreacting.


Kinda the impression I got watching, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Do we overestimate the playing?


----------



## hpowders

You are at a social dance at your church.

Do you:

1. Dance the Lindy Hop

2. Wait for some slow Beethoven


----------



## Granate

Speaker of English as a second language? How do you adapt these names to your mother-tongue?

Elīna Garanča
Lovro von Matačić
Wolfgang Windgassen
Cristoph von Dohnányi
Anna Netrebko
Herbert von Karajan
Hans Knappertsbusch
Stanisław Skrowaczewski
Takashi Asahina
東京クヮルテット
Plácido Domingo


----------



## Pat Fairlea

You feel in need of support. Do you turn to:
(a) Velcro?
(b) Klingon? 
(c) Skyhooks?


----------



## Tallisman

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Schoenberg vs Andre Rieu*


Please make it happen. Or maybe Beethoven's 9th vs Clog Dance


----------



## hpowders

My car has collision insurance.

I just added collusion insurance to my life insurance policy.


----------



## hpowders

Ponderous posts vs. Ethereal posts

Opiñion or Scientific Law of Nature?


----------



## hpowders

Slow Beethoven or fast cars?


----------



## hpowders

Anyone attending the Proms make the mistake of thinking he was actually going to his high school prom instead?

Share your story here, in front of the multitudes.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Why don't you like Cage?


----------



## ST4

*Poll: Who Is Your Favorite Composer? *

*Poll includes a bunch of stereotypical composers who are likely not your favorites and expects you to choose.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bach, Beethoven & Mozart - except if you a Bettina who like Beet for reasons in addition to Music 

and not Cage, Shoey or anyone else after 1890

How did I do - do i win a prize  

maybe I could go undercover as a romantic period kinda guy..........


----------



## ST4

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Bach, Beethoven & Mozart - except if you a Bettina who like Beet for reasons in addition to Music
> 
> and not Cage, Shoey or anyone else after 1890
> 
> How did I do - do i win a prize
> 
> maybe I could go undercover as a romantic period kinda guy..........


EdwardAreThyRoyalElgar?


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> EdwardAreThyRoyalElgar?


Yeah, I could do that with earplugs- actually I've got an Elgar CD if anyone wants it - I hate it, luckily it only cost $2 bucks


----------



## hpowders

Interview of Bettina with Musical America:

Musical America: "Do you give generously to charity"?
Bettina: "Oh yes!! I've been liking hpowders' posts on Talk Classical!"


----------



## ST4

I have seen the face of god....and boy is he freckled and nerdy looking.....


----------



## ST4

"*Beethoven: The Opera*"


----------



## ST4

The telephone mouth and ear holes have a very peculiar shape


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

ST4 said:


> "*Beethoven: The Opera*"


Sticky Fingers the Opera, might be more apt


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bach vs Godzilla


----------



## millionrainbows

Atonal music was used when the ATF was trying to lure David Koresh and the Branch Davidians out of the compound.

Atonal music is currently being used in certain urban area bus stops to discourage loitering.

Also retail stores are being given the option to play atonal music in the last 10 minutes before closing, in order to clear customers out of stores.

Certain sub-cultural groups are using atonal music in bizarre sex-bondage and punishment/domination scenarios.

Atonal music is reportedly being used by The New Process Church of the Final Judgement to attempt in invoking "dark side" archetypal splinter-deities. This group, and similar ones, believe that psychological archetypes can be "made manifest" as physical entities, which can then be used to influence people.

Law enforcement agencies, and the FBI, are using atonal music forums to attract "dark-siders" and individuals with sociopathic tendencies, as these types are thought to be attracted to this kind of music.


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Tell us about your out-of-body-experience! Mine happened today on the toilet...


----------



## SiegendesLicht

How to survive another 8 days until what's promising to be your biggest musical dream come true?

Idea 1: go into hybernation. Any others?


----------



## SiegendesLicht

Klassik said:


> So you're a fan of Klassik's STI posts? :lol:


Oh, I love you all, folks!


----------



## Klassik

SiegendesLicht said:


> Oh, I love you all, folks!


A political answer, very lady-like. Not very wife-like, but lady-like! 

Here's a Klassik answer. I love all STIers, but only ladies give me erections. Sorry, guys! Not even h's jail cell dream posts cause it to move! :lol:


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

Watch the Marx brothers "A Night At the Opera" twice to warm up!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Beethoven's 9th vs Cage's 4'33''


----------



## ST4

"The autistic merit of Beethoven's 5th Symphony"


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Beethoven's 9th vs Cage's 4'33''


Beethoven, but he botched the 4th movement. I might take 4'33" over that disaster! :lol:


----------



## Bettina

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Beethoven's 9th vs Cage's 4'33''


No need to choose! I like to put 4'33" on a repeating loop while listening to the 9th symphony at the same time. The best of both worlds!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Klassik said:


> Beethoven, but he botched the 4th movement. I might take 4'33" over that disaster! :lol:


Hey, Cage is leading in this poll already - take that Beethoven


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina said:


> No need to choose! I like to put 4'33" on a repeating loop while listening to the 9th symphony at the same time. The best of both worlds!


You see 4'33" is the music for all occasions and can accompany and enhance any performance.........


----------



## Klassik

Bettina said:


> No need to choose! I like to put 4'33" on a repeating loop while listening to the 9th symphony at the same time. The best of both worlds!





EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> You see 4'33" is the music for all occasions and can accompany and enhance any performance.........


3-way with Bettina, Cage, and Beethoven? That's a lot of stinky stuff Bettina will have to deal with!


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Poll: How many infractions can you get in a single post ? *


----------



## Klassik

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> *Poll: How many infractions can you get in a single post ? *


Biting the post is a deal breaker! 

Wait, what are we talking about again?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

*Looking for Mr Goodbar the Opera*


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Bettina will be radioactive


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Worlds biggest battery under construction (leaked photos)








http://www.news.com.au/technology/i...a/news-story/8f06c79ecc676cb82336ee8f77e91f8b


----------



## hpowders

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Worlds biggest battery under construction (leaked photos)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> http://www.news.com.au/technology/i...a/news-story/8f06c79ecc676cb82336ee8f77e91f8b


Poor little chicklets, getting treated like that!


----------



## hpowders

A different kind of desert island question:

You are sentenced to 15 years of hard labor on Devil's Island in French Guiana.

Your slave driver d'jour during lunch break offers you a choice of Sherbert or Schubert.

Which would you select?


----------



## hpowders

Do posters' writings get better with time?

Assignment: Trace hpowders' early period posts from December, 2013 to May, 2015; through his middle period, from June, 2015 through July 2017. Has his brevity remained about the same? Post-content, more profound? More ethereal? More mundane or profane, through the years?


----------



## Kjetil Heggelund

All it was, was like people sitting in doorways, freaking out tourists going "Merry Go Round! Merry Go Round! dudududu dududu dudu". And they called that "doing your thing"


----------



## Captainnumber36

hpowders said:


> No problem. Obamare care has psych services. I think the deductible is $11,374. It went down a bit from last month.


I'll offer my services!


----------



## mmsbls

Recent posts have rather violated our prohibition against obscene, vulgar, or sexually-oriented comments. The thread is temporarily closed until we can sort things out.


----------



## Taggart

We recognise that Stupid Thread Ideas was a popular thread. It was closed because of inappropriate posts.

We have removed a small number of obscene or politically oriented posts, but the thread has proved impossible to salvage.

We have, therefore, started a new thread - Ideas for Stupid Threads


----------

