# Funny/weird news



## jani (Jun 15, 2012)

So i noticed that we have a thread for funny pics&vids but not for funny/strange news so i made this thread.

Nuclear Computer Virus Plays AC/DC At Full Volume
A computer virus that targeted nuclear computers in Iran has had the unusual side-effect of playing AC/DC tracks at full volume.

A letter from Finnish computer security firm F-Secure says they received a series of emails from nuclear research facilities there (via Gawker), including one which said this:

"I am writing you to inform you that our nuclear program has once again been compromised and attacked by a new worm with exploits which have shut down our automation network.

"There was also some music playing randomly on several of the workstations during the middle of the night with the volume maxed out. I believe it was playing 'Thunderstruck' by AC/DC."

Viruses targeting Iranian nuclear facilities are not new. The US government recently worked in conjunction with Israel to develop software that would spy on Iranian computer networks in secret, but were somewhat humiliated when security experts uncovered the source of the virus.

In other news, Classic Rock cites an Australian tour operator who found that great white sharks seem to like the band. The operator claims the sharks would swim closer to the boat when their music was playing.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/wtf/nuclear_computer_virus_plays_acdc_at_full_volume.html


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Canadian Randy Scott George, age 25, turns himself in after an arrest warrant is issued because of his self-inflicted YT exposure.

Something tells me Yamaha won't be using any of his video for advertising.


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## jani (Jun 15, 2012)

My ***** almost starts to hurt even when i think about this

Friday, July 27, 2012
ODD
Man's ***** stolen in his sleep
Published Thursday, Jul 26 2012, 13:07 BST | By Ben Lee |42 comments

Tweet458
2
1

© Rex Features
A man in China has had his ***** stolen as he was sleeping.

Fei Lin, in Niqiao village near Wenling City, told authorities that thieves entered his bedroom and covered his head with a bag before cutting off his *****, according to TNT Magazine.

Police are pursuing the possibility that the attack happened as a result of a number of affairs Lin was allegedly having.

They suspect that the men responsible were the partners of the women Lin was sleeping with, though the victim insists he has not been involved in any affairs.

Lin, 41, recalled to authorities: "[The thieves] put something over my head and pulled down my trousers, and then they ran off. I was so shocked that I didn't feel a thing.

"Then I saw I was bleeding and my ***** was gone."

Police and emergency services attempted in vain to locate Lin's missing *****. The investigation is ongoing.
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/news/a395511/mans-*****-stolen-in-his-sleep.html


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## Norse (May 10, 2010)

Some fun news from Oslo today. Big parts of central Oslo was evacuated for a couple of hours because of a suspicious object underneath a car going into the American embassy. Turns out it was a fake bomb the American embassy had placed there themselves for a security drill earlier, and then forgot to remove it. When the car came back they thought it was a real bomb, causing a huge turn up of police (with a robot) and ambulances. Nice one.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Keiser Report: Episode 321

A conversation on the Virtual Real Economy. 

http://rt.com/programs/keiser-report/episode-321-max-keiser/

Related:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/07/31/zynga_share_dealing_lawsuit/


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

"In this episode, Max Keiser and Stacy Herbert discuss the virtual virtual economy getting hit by a dustbowl and there are no gully washers or toad stranglers on the horizon to bring reliefe; meanwhile out in the virtual real economy it’s all the bath-salts and beer you can drink and scalps for sale in California as eminent domain falls into the hands of private bankers. In the second half, Max interviews Teri Buhl about the possibility of San Bernardino county using eminent domain to seize mortgages from one set of rich private investors to give them to another set of rich private investors."

Is this strange news or just plain gibberish?


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## Lunasong (Mar 15, 2011)

Our local news - Man shot after argument over sippy cup.
Not sure if "sippy cup" is a local term, but it's a training cup that older babies/toddlers learn to drink from.


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## Lunasong (Mar 15, 2011)

PA announcer ejected from baseball game by umpire after playing "Three Blind Mice" after a questionable call.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/spor...daytona-cubs-game-20120802,0,794464.htmlstory


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## jani (Jun 15, 2012)

The modern music industry can be a confusing, intimidating thing. All this jargon, and that weird way of speaking that bands only seem to do in interviews and press releases. What does it all mean? Well, I've put together this handy phrasebook for translating musician into English. Next time you read an interview with a band, or have them drunkenly tell you all about their band in the toilets after the gig (whether you care about their stupid band or not), run what they say through this handy guide and get a better idea of what's really going on:

UG plus: remove banner

"Yeah, we're sort of electro, we love the TS808 and all that stuff."
(We couldn't find a drummer).
"We like to mix up loads of genres. We've all got loads of influences and we all bring something to the band, so it makes our sets very eclectic." 
(We're always arguing about what to play).
"We're releasing this next record as a free digital distro, to say thank you to our fans, because music should be, like, free, man. Crush capitalism!"
(My dad's garage is still full of unsold copies of our last album).
"Our creative process is quite fluid, like, we just blue-sky think all these ideas, and it all just flows together, man."
(We take lots and lots of drugs).
"We really believe in lo-fi analogue recording, it's just so much more authentic than this modern, over-produced bullcrap."
(None of us knows how to use Protools).
"We love our new drummer, he's really got into the spirit of what the band is all about, it's like he's been here all along."
(We hope he's less of a psycho than the last guy but our hopes aren't high).
"We're all full-on rock and roll, all the time! We're living the dream!"
(I'm an alcoholic and my wife has left me).
"We're a really democratic band. We don't believe in leaders."
(Our decision-making process consists of yelling and fistfights).
"We like to play intimate venues, it really helps us connect with our fans."
(It's less embarrassing when only five people turn up).
"We really like to mix it up live. Every time you hear us, it'll sound a bit different to last time."
(We're under-rehearsed and make a lot of mistakes).
"Man, there are so many sharks and money-grabbers in music! It's really hard as a musician to avoid the bad guys."
(Someone at our last gig sold us "skunk" that turned out to be oregano).
"We can't believe how lucky we are to have such a quality guitarist join us. We're all learning so much from him!"
(It turns out there are more than four chords).
"This music blog says we're the future!"
(It's written by my girlfriend, but even then I had to take her to see Mamma Mia before she agreed to listen to our demo).
"We're not into that self-indulgent virtuoso crap. It's got no feeling man, Kurt Cobain proved it, you've gotta have heart, it's all about the message you're conveying!"
(We suck and we're in denial about it).
"Yeah, we're cool with the old bassist. Things just weren't working out, so we went our separate ways, we're just too busy to talk to each other."
(We've agreed that if he doesn't tell anyone about my drug dealing, I won't tell his girlfriend that he cheated on her).
"The last singer didn't really fit in with our philosophy, you know, the way we approach music and creativity."
(He believed in showing up to rehearsals sober).
"We decided we don't need a bass player, we love to explore unconventional soundscapes."
(Every bassist we tried to audition took one look at us and ran away screaming).
"I hate breadheads! We're in this for the music, man, commercialism is killing music!"
(We could never persuade anyone to pay money to listen to this rubbish).
"Yeah, we set up our own label to release our music independently, it's the best thing for an emerging artist and gives us so much freedom."
(No record company would look at us twice, so I got my cousin to make some stickers in Photoshop to put on the CD case).
"Guitar solos are for posers!"
(I suck at guitar).
"We're releasing an EP because people don't want to listen to whole albums any more. Downloads have changed everything man, it's all killer no filler these days!"
(We only know five songs)
"I think a bit of creative destruction really helps the songwriting process. It helps that we all have really strong personalities who aren't afraid to say what they think!"
(We fight like siblings in the back seats of a hot car).
"We're going to do an unplugged gig. It'll be a really cool way for our fans to hear our music in a new way."
(It was supposed to be a proper gig but the drummer couldn't make it).
"Yeah, our singer has that "x-factor", he's unconventional but he just dominates the stage, you can't take your eyes off him."
(He can't sing, has a stupid haircut and dances like an idiot).
"We just love to improvise, our songs are more like loose templates that serve as the basis for free-form extemporising."
(We're too disorganised/high to write any songs).
"We mostly play covers, but we like to throw in an original now and then to keep it interesting."
(And watch the audience go to the bar).
"Man, these promoters are scumbags! They just want to screw the bands!"
(This one guy had the temerity to call us jerks when we didn't bring anyone to the gig and drank the free bar dry).
If you liked this you might also like my handy guide to musicians. You might also like to sign up to my mailing list, which contains all kinds of handy hints and exclusive resources that will help you not to become like these band

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/columns/junkyard/what_bands_say_and_what_they_really_mean.html


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## Lunasong (Mar 15, 2011)

HARARE, Zimbabwe (AP) -- City authorities in Zimbabwe's second largest city said Saturday they were appealing to home owners to flush their toilets at a specified time as a way to unblock sewers after days of severe water rationing.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/storie..._CRISIS?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT


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## jani (Jun 15, 2012)

NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!!

Is it pork-ageddon? Britain's National Pig Association has sounded the alarm that the world should brace for an "unavoidable" bacon and pork shortage next year.

The cause of the trouble is high pig-feed costs caused by what it describes in a press release as "the global failure of maize and soya harvests."

The organization notes that new data shows that pig herds are declining at a significant rate, not just in Britain, but around the world.

The way out of this coming catastrophe is to subsidize pig farmers to stem the loss of their herds, says the industry group. The organization has also launched a "Save Our Bacon" campaign, which encourages consumers to buy British pork products.

It's not just Europe that will be seeing shortages: The U.S. will also face a bacon shortage. The Guardian reports that the cost of bacon has doubled since 2006, and record droughts are to blame. Consumption of bacon is falling as prices have been rising.

"It's not that people don't want to eat pork, it's just that they increasingly can't afford to," economist Steve Meyer told the publication. "We've been warning about this for years. Now that we are talking about bacon, we've really got everyone's attention."

Sure do.

The Twitter response was predictably massive, as commenters took to the microblogging site to bemoan the state of a future porkless plate. @TylerMachado posted, "Maybe we wouldn't be facing a bacon shortage if you twee hipsters didn't put bacon on cupcakes, in mixed drinks, etc." @AJackart added, overdramatically, "I am officially on suicide watch, this is tragic!"

And @ACabot88 wrote, "The Mayans were right, the world is coming to an end."

The Gothamist actually tried to suggest bacon alternatives-soy bacon, anyone?

Few bacon lovers on Twitter seem inspired to try a meat-free diet. Unless forced. Posted @billy_reid_atl, "World without bacon? Say it isn't so! Enjoy it now... while you can."

@Hilda was already thinking outside the grocery store: "All this bacon shortage talk has me thinking, if I can't have backyard chickens, maybe I can get away with a backyard pig?"

http://m.yahoo.com/w/legobpengine/n..._host_hdr=news.yahoo.com&.intl=US&.lang=en-US


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## jani (Jun 15, 2012)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-19842704 
World of Warcraft hobby sparks US political row

Playing WoW leads people to live a "bizarre double life" say Maine Republicans
Continue reading the main story
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The gaming hobby of a political candidate has become an issue in a state senate race in New England, US.

Maine Republicans have created a webpage revealing that Democrat candidate Colleen Lachowicz plays an orc rogue in World of Warcraft (WoW).

Ms Lachowicz's liking for back-stabbing and poison in WoW raise questions about her "fitness for office", they claim.

Ms Lachowicz has hit back saying the attack showed the Republicans were "out of touch".

Weird focus
The state senate seat known as District 25 in Maine, is currently being contested by Ms Lachowicz and incumbent Republican Tom Martin. Voting takes place on 6 November.

As part of its campaign efforts, the Republican party in the state created "Colleen's World" - a website that compiles information about Ms Lachowicz's orc rogue Santiaga. An orc is a mythical human-like creature, generally described as fierce and combative.

In a statement that accompanies the webpage, Maine Republicans said playing the game led Ms Lachowicz to live a "bizarre double life" that raised questions about her ability to represent the state.

The page also detailed some of the comments Ms Lachowicz has made while talking about her orc rogue, in particular it highlights her affection for Santiaga's ability to stab things and kill people without suffering a jail sentence.

"These are some very bizarre and offensive comments," said Maine Republican Party spokesman David Sorensen in a statement. "They certainly raise questions about Lachowicz's maturity and her ability to make serious decisions for the people of Senate District 25."

The site also lists many of the 400 comments she has posted to left wing political news and discussion site Daily Kos. Maine Republicans have also posted leaflets that reproduce the information on the website.

"I think it's weird that I'm being targeted for playing online games," said Ms Lachowicz in a statement. "Apparently I'm in good company since there are 183 million other Americans who also enjoy online games.

"Instead of talking about what they're doing for Maine people, they're making fun of me for playing video games," said Ms Lachowicz.

It is not clear what effect the Republican tactic will have on the state senate race in Maine. However, many messages of support have been left on Ms Lachowicz's own webpage with some pledging cash to her campaign.

Gaming researcher Ladan Cockshut said the row revealed how gaming can be seen as a bad thing to do.

"In my work, I've spoken with many people who in their regular lives have roles of significant responsibility (as doctors, managers, or educators) but who choose carefully with whom they disclose their gaming activity," she told the BBC. "And disclosing their gaming activity is often accompanied by a degree of apology or embarrassment."

But, she added, having a gamer run for office was a "heartening" development.

"This would seem to run contrary to the other stereotypes that we love to assign to gamers: that they are lazy, antisocial people who don't have a 'real life'," she said. "Maybe this will trigger some dialogue about our perceptions of gamers and the role that games can and should play in modern society."


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## Mephistopheles (Sep 3, 2012)

Vaneyes said:


> Canadian Randy Scott George, age 25, turns himself in after an arrest warrant is issued because of his self-inflicted YT exposure.
> 
> Something tells me Yamaha won't be using any of his video for advertising.


Driving tests should come with psychiatric assessments.


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## jani (Jun 15, 2012)

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news...ty_benefits_for_addiction_to_heavy_metal.html
A man in Sweden has been reportedly awarded state disability benefits for his addiction to heavy metal.

According to the Global Post, 42-year-old Roger Tullgren said he consulted three psychologists to testify his addiction to the Devil's Rock, which led to him attending over 300 concerts last year, leaving him seemingly unable to hold down a job.

"I have been trying for 10 years to get this classified as a handicap," he told Swedish newspaper The Local. "I spoke to three psychologists and they finally agreed that I needed this to avoid being discriminated against."
As NME reports, he now has a part-time job as a dishwasher at a restaurant in Hassleholm, which will be supplemented by disability benefits. Tullgren's new boss has agreed to let him rock out to Slayer as loud as he wants while scrubbing dishes, so long as it doesn't disturb guests. He has even agreed to grant Tullgren time off to go to gigs.

"I signed a form saying: 'Roger feels compelled to show his heavy metal style. This puts him in a difficult situation on the labor market. Therefore he needs extra financial help'. So now I can turn up at a job interview dressed in my normal clothes and just hand the interviewers this piece of paper," Tullgren said.

Tullgren said he's been hooked on metal since his brother played him a Black Sabbath album when he was a toddler.


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## millionrainbows (Jun 23, 2012)

http://dailycurrant.com/2012/12/14/iran-plans-legalize-marijuana/

Let's smoke a joint while we launch this hydrogen warhead...


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

jani said:


> NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!!
> 
> Is it pork-ageddon? Britain's National Pig Association has sounded the alarm that the world should brace for an "unavoidable" bacon and pork shortage next year.
> 
> ...


There's always that 'other other white meat.' which would simultaneously partially solve both food shortages and the world population problem....


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

jani said:


> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-19842704
> World of Warcraft hobby sparks US political row
> 
> Playing WoW leads people to live a "bizarre double life" say Maine Republicans
> ...


So... they're hiding in the closet about their playing habits? So, they're uh, Gaymers?


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Didn't bother with the story, but today's NBC news headline is, "Mayan apocalypse failure bad news for believers."

Right. And its success would have been good news for them? :lol::lol::lol:


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2012)

jani said:


> A computer virus that targeted nuclear computers in Iran has had the unusual side-effect of playing AC/DC tracks at full volume.


I am so out of date I still use battery power


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## jurianbai (Nov 23, 2008)

envy you, are no ?

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatche...avy-metal-music-addiction-disability-benefits



> In Sweden, a headbanger has succeeded in having his heavy metal music obsession declared an addiction that requires state disability benefits.
> 
> Roger Tullgren, 42, a heavily tattooed metal head who works as a dishwasher in southern Sweden, said he consulted three psychologists to receive statements testifying to the extent of his heavy metal music dependency, reports the Local, a Swedish news website.
> 
> ...


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

jurianbai said:


> http://www.globalpost.com/dispatche...avy-metal-music-addiction-disability-benefits


Well I'm glad to see that other countries are following Britain's lead in wasting tax money on insultingly stupid ****.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Believe it or not - refer http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2013/02/04/317290_ntnews.html
*Kiss of life saves chook*

February 4th, 2013

Speaker Kezia Purick had to give the kiss of life to her hen after a water python tried to strangle it.

BY day she gags slithery creatures in Parliament, but by night Speaker Kezia Purick also has to watch out for snakes in her own backyard.

The NT speaker gave the kiss of life to a chicken after it had been strangled by a snake at her property at Holtze.

Ms Purick went out to lock her chicken hut on Tuesday night, but found a 1.6m water python wrapped around one of her hens.

"The poor thing was down to its last feather," she said.

"I thought: 'You *******'.

"I saw the chook was still alive.

"I put my foot on the snake's head and unwrapped it.

"I lifted the beak open and (blowing noises) into its mouth and it came to life.

"I still had the snake under my gumboot."


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## deggial (Jan 20, 2013)

^ handsome chicken!


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

PetrB said:


> There's always that 'other other white meat.' which would simultaneously partially solve both food shortages and the world population problem....


Nasty Nasty Nasty- only just picked up on your comment, a bit like Soylent Green hey.....


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

PetrB said:


> There's always that 'other other white meat.' which would simultaneously partially solve both food shortages and the world population problem....


Jonathan Swift raised this idea almost 300 years ago, and for the same reasons, in his "A Modest Proposal."

http://www.art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

He even prepared a detailed business case. But politically...ah...unpalatable. :devil:

He included recipes and preparation tips...


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## Guest (Feb 12, 2013)

A bit like the Jap poly who told the aged to "hurry up and die you are costing too much"


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits 
The following is a scientific example of lack of those limits...................









From letters to the editor in The Border Morning Mail, Albury, on the border of New South Wales and Victoria, Australia
and also apparently Chris is a Collingwood supporter, which explains everything.Could substitute Glaswegian for UK, Arkansas? For US


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits


Makes perfect sense to me. Now excuse me, I think I have a hairball...


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

'Chubby Checker, the musician best known for his 1960 hit recording of "The Twist," is suing HP over a novelty app for Palm OS of the same name that claims to check the size of your "chubby." The sum sought is a mind-boggling half a billion dollars.'

http://www.nbcnews.com/technology/gadgetbox/chubby-checker-sues-hp-over-*****-size-app-1C8383682


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

Meteorite in Russia, happened today :

(wait until 0:30)


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Wow the second vid is impressive


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

This is rather special news. Meteorites, perhaps associated with the small asteroid DA14 which will pass earth at about 17,000 miles tomorrow, have exploded in or above the southern Urals in Russia. There are reports of many injuries from breaking glass in buildings whose windows have been blown out. I don't recall hearing about anything like this since the Tunguska event, also in Russia, in 1908.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Nasty but spectacular, that is big news.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Nasty but spectacular, that is big news.


But still, can it complete with an app to estimate the size of your chubby?


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2013)

Windows shattered in supermarket and over 100 injured the meteorite exploded over head "poor old Ruskies" hope the big one passes with out incident.


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2013)

KenOC said:


> But still, can it complete with an app to estimate the size of your chubby?


Who ya tryin to kid wid ya avatar


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Ugh. More Internet "journalism" on the Russia meteorite: "New estimates reported by NASA indicate that the meteor that rocked Chelyabinsk, Russia last week was the largest to hit the earth in more than a century. While early estimates placed the 55-foot meteor in the 10-ton range, the actual size was closer to 10,000 tons, and the energy released during the event was in the neighborhood of 500 kilotons. As The Wall Street Journal points out, that’s more than 30 times the size of the atomic bomb detonated over Hiroshima. The previous largest meteor impact was the 1908 event in Tunguska, Siberia."

1. Neither this meteorite nor the Tunguska object "hit the earth" or "imacted."
2. The Tunguska event was in fact far larger, est. equivalent of at least 10 megatons.

The article goes on: "Paul Chodas of NASA’s Near-Earth Object Program Office stated that 'we would expect an event of this magnitude to occur once every 100 years on average,' which means we’re probably in the clear for a little while."

I hope the author doesn't gamble a lot! But to his credit, he has packed a lot of misinformation into a small space.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

"Spontaneous combustion looked at as cause of Oklahoma death"

http://science.nbcnews.com/_news/20...ion-looked-at-as-cause-of-oklahoma-death?lite


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

I've heard from reliable sources that Maggie T has aparently closed 3 furnaces in hell already.

Also, She live so long you know that as she closed so much of british steel she couldnt find a bucket to kick. :lol:


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

A bit unpleasant: "A man deliberately cut himself with saws in the aisles of a Home Depot store in suburban Los Angeles on Wednesday, creating a gruesome scene in front of several customers that left him severely injured, police said... 'He cut both arms with hand saws down to the bone,' said West Covina police Cpl. Rudy Lopez."

http://www.abcactionnews.com/dpp/ne...-with-saws-in-front-of-customers1365682915284


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Glad there was no pics for that one too.

Maybe he was the IMF boss?


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## superhorn (Mar 23, 2010)

Last week in Argentina, someone thought he was buying a couple of toy poodles . However, it turned out that they were actually ferrets on steroids, and whose fur had been artificially fluufed up to make them look like toy poodles !


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## jani (Jun 15, 2012)

Another good reason to drink coffee!

Coffee Boosts Recognition of Positive Words
A recent study finds that we tend to recognize words associated with positive thoughts faster after we've had some coffee. Christie Nicholson reports

A lot of people just don't feel quite human without that morning cup of coffee. Now a study finds that the enhanced sense of well-being that caffeine can cause is reflected in our perception of words. Specifically, caffeine increases the ability to recognize words associated with positive thoughts, but doesn't provide the same boost for words with negative or even neutral associations. The research is in the journal PLoS One.

Scientists assigned 66 subjects to one of two groups. Half got a 200-milligram caffeine tablet, a dose equal to almost three cups of coffee. The other half received a sugar tablet. Thirty minutes later the volunteers were shown strings of letters, and had to decide as fast as they could if a string formed a word or was just gibberish.

The volunteers recognized words with positive associations much faster than either negative or neutral words.

Other studies have shown that positive words tend to be recognized more quickly, but the caffeine increases the gap.

So next time you wake up with a grumpy sweetheart, your compliments might be appreciated more if they have a cup of coffee.

-Christie Nicholson

http://www.scientificamerican.com/p...=coffee-boosts-recognition-of-positi-13-01-30


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