# i have an alcohol addiction. How can i give up alcohol?



## atsizat (Sep 14, 2015)

i started drinking once 3 days and drink to get stone drunk. Are there people who have alcohol addiction here?

I find life so meaningless and get bored of living when i am sober.


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

First of all, bravo for posting this.

Assuming you have access to healthcare, why don't you consult your healthcare provider about alcohol misuse treatment, recovery and rehabilitation services in your area?

You are much more likely to be successful in addressing your addiction if you allow other people to be involved, including others who are also trying to address their alcohol problems, but I think probably the most important thing is to really admit to yourself that you have a problem and want to tackle it.

Once you've begun to manage your drinking more successfully you will have to start thinking about why life has become so boring and meaningless for you as this will probably be key to changing things in the longer term.

I hope this is helpful in some way.


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

I know how it feels to get that great buzzin’ feeling, with no care in the world. I started growing a resistance to the feeling though, and it started just to feel bad only, getting hungover . I went on to find enough hobbies to keep myself occupied. Running away is only a temporary solution.


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## Guest (Mar 24, 2018)

TurnaboutVox said:


> First of all, bravo for posting this.
> 
> Assuming you have access to healthcare, why don't you consult your healthcare provider about alcohol misuse treatment, recovery and rehabilitation services in your area?
> 
> ...


+1
...............


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## Antiquarian (Apr 29, 2014)

atsizat said:


> Are there people who have alcohol addiction here?


I sometimes fear that I have this, but I don't think I consider it an addiction. I'm probably in denial though. It's more of a cultural, social thing with me. If I go to a friend's house, and the first thing he asks is "Care for a drink?" I obligingly, to be sociable, take it. If I go to a party, and drinks are available, I go to. At night I occasionally drink a glass of wine. But I don't drink "to get stone drunk". I have a rather sunny, optimistic view of life that precludes the use of alcohol as a means to an end. I would follow what Turnabout Vox, stated most clearly above-- if you feel like you have an addiction, you should seek help from your medical provider. You should address the underlying issue of feeling life is boring and meaningless.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

I've heard good things about SMART, which is evidence-based recovery free of the bullsh*t associated with AA: https://www.smartrecovery.org/


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

Couchie said:


> I've heard good things about SMART, which is evidence-based recovery free of the bullsh*t associated with AA: https://www.smartrecovery.org/


I never heard of Smart but I agree with you as far as AA goes. That said, these is a "type" of person who it does benefit.


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

atsizat said:


> How can i give up alcohol?


Just want to stop drinking.

It really is that simple.

BTW, if you have been drinking daily for a few months or more their is a very real and potentially very dangerous withdrawal symptom associated with cessation. You will need to taper off alcohol.


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## Guest (Mar 25, 2018)

eljr said:


> Just want to stop drinking.
> 
> It really is that simple.


I'm sorry but I do not believe that it is that simple and it is unhelpful to the person concerned.

Want to lose weight? Eat less and exercise; it really is that simple. No, it's not.


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## mtmailey (Oct 21, 2011)

I would say think about the health before YOU END UP DEAD.Also think about how the drink hurt your body.


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## Genoveva (Nov 9, 2010)

atsizat said:


> i started drinking once 3 days and drink to get stone drunk. Are there people who have alcohol addiction here?
> 
> I find life so meaningless and get bored of living when i am sober.


I have no idea where you live but the standard advice in most places is that if a person has been drinking heavily over a long time, and feels he/she is addicted, the first requirement is that they must want treatment and be willing to cooperate with the medical profession. The person should see a doctor asap and have a blood test done to see if any damage has been done to the liver, which is only a matter of time if they carry on with heavy boozing. Cirrhosis could be just round the corner, if it hasn't already occurred to some extent, if there is continued drinking.

Depending on what they find, they may need to put the person on medication to deal with any issues affecting the liver. As for treating the addiction itself, they'll probably start by giving a de-tox programme, followed by a programme of couselling of sort sort. Exactly what and where will depend on where you live, how bad the situation is, what you can afford. If a budget is very tight a 2-week course of benzodazepines may be prescribed for self administration at home. These help overcome the effects of alcohol withdrawal and reduce the risk of fits.

Don't let anyone try to convince you that by ignoring the problem it may go away. Just pop down to the local hospital and take a glance at some of the poor souls in the liver treatment wards at their very sickly looks, lethargic behaviour, yellow complexions, whilst possibly having a gallon or so of ascites fluid drained off their bloated abdomens into tanks on the side of the bed. For some that's just the start of worse yet to come.


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

dogen said:


> I'm sorry but I do not believe that it is that simple and it is unhelpful to the person concerned.
> 
> Want to lose weight? Eat less and exercise; it really is that simple. No, it's not.


you misread my post, I believe

I did not say nor imply that it was easy, what I said was that you have to want to stop.

BTW, the same goes for losing weight. Losing weight is easy once you decide you want to.

The hard part is finding compelling enough reasons to want to do without the immediate gratification both food and drug brings.


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## Genoveva (Nov 9, 2010)

eljr said:


> you misread my post, I believe
> 
> I did not say nor imply that it was easy, what I said was that you have to want to stop.
> 
> ...


Wanting to stop is only the first stage with some types of addiction. It could well require a more complicated process in the case of serious alcohol addiction, where all sorts of medical treatment may be necessary depending on how far the problem has progressed. See my post a few above this one. I'm sure you recognise this, but perhaps it could have been made a bit clearer.


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

I believe Atsizat knows how to get help from a Medical professional or addiction centre, but was looking for other experiences aside from getting into a program. If he felt life is meaningless and bored of living, he wouldn’t care about Health condition so much. 

My advice is to find and do things you are more interested in, or just get out and do something like sports, volunteering, etc. which will lead to finding something to look forward to when you wake up. There is no way to solve the big question of meaninglessness of Life. But there are valid reasons to look at it a different way. Just build a bit at a time, and it work on the positive side. There may be indirect sources of your depression, like your job, relationships, etc.


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## haydnguy (Oct 13, 2008)

My view on this is that everyone is not the same. In my case, there was an underlying cause. i.e. I was self-medicating. That will not be true of everyone. Another thing is, like the previous gentleman said you have to want to. In my case, since I was self-medicating and was not diagnosed for a long time, people would doubt me. I knew in my heart that I wanted to quit so I had to believe in myself. There is a fine line there because people that have been successful in quiting could have some good advice. I wouldn't listen to people that just "put you down" though.


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

Genoveva said:


> Wanting to stop is only the first stage with some types of addiction. It could well require a more complicated process in the case of serious alcohol addiction, where all sorts of medical treatment may be necessary depending on how far the problem has progressed. See my post a few above this one. I'm sure you recognise this, but perhaps it could have been made a bit clearer.


I understand that and think I spoke to tapering the alcohol if physically addicted.

and yes, one can need short term medication to control heart rate, hallucinations, seizures...

all this as a subset of the want of stopping. The nuts of bolts of actually doing so.


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## Triplets (Sep 4, 2014)

I am a Physician. I haven’t read the other posts here, and I am sure that they are well intentioned, but you need Professional Help. Please seek it


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

TurnaboutVox said:


> First of all, bravo for posting this.
> 
> Assuming you have access to healthcare, why don't you consult your healthcare provider about alcohol misuse treatment, recovery and rehabilitation services in your area?
> 
> ...


This is the best thing you can do - seek medical help, and the help of those who know about giving up addictions. 
I agree with those who say you have to want to stop drinking to excess, but it has to be a pretty strong 'want' to counteract the impulse and the physical craving. The 'wanting' can be shored up by talking to professionals, and so can the strategy to counteract impulses and physical cravings.

My husband is a Scot who enjoyed his whisky and did not abuse it - but three years ago, a health crisis struck, and he was hospitalised with pancreatitis, and on a drip for a week. Because of that he gave up alcohol, initially for six months - but when other health problems (emergency op for strangulated hernia; intestinal polyps) were found, the latter also connected with alcohol, he simply stayed off it.

So I agree with those who urge you to consider the health problems that excessive alcohol can bring - but again, *telling* is probably not enough to motivate you. You have to experience it - and I hope you never do!

Please, since you know you need help, seek it in the right quarter, from your doctor in the first instance. :tiphat:
Very best wishes.


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

Ingélou said:


> This is the best thing you can do - seek medical help, and the help of those who know about giving up addictions.
> I agree with those who say you have to want to stop drinking to excess, but it has to be a pretty strong 'want' to counteract the impulse and the physical craving. The 'wanting' can be shored up by talking to professionals, and so can the strategy to counteract impulses and physical cravings.
> 
> My husband is a Scot who enjoyed his whisky and did not abuse it - but three years ago, a health crisis struck, and he was hospitalised with pancreatitis, and on a drip for a week. Because of that he gave up alcohol, initially for six months - but when other health problems (emergency op for strangulated hernia; intestinal polyps) were found, the latter also connected with alcohol, he simply stayed off it.
> ...


so with a reason he stopped drinking... yep, just as I was saying


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

eljr said:


> so with a reason he stopped drinking... yep, just as I was saying


He was given a head start with being on the drip for a week, of course...


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

Ingélou said:


> He was given a head start with being on the drip for a week, of course...


You think a week is long enough to break a lifetime pattern? You may be right, I'd need see data to believe it.

I have found it very easy to stop smoking, stop drinking, lose weight... when I had a reason. I have found it near impossible without one.

What I struggle with daily is to do without my morning coffee. I kid you not. But, I do it.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

eljr said:


> You think a week is long enough to break a lifetime pattern? You may be right, I'd need see data to believe it.
> 
> *I have found it very easy to stop smoking, stop drinking, lose weight... when I had a reason. I have found it near impossible without one. *
> 
> What I struggle with daily is to do without my morning coffee. I kid you not. But, I do it.


That makes you an unusual individual - most people have to struggle more. :tiphat:

As regards the 'week' - an ordinary week would not be long enough to break the habit of a lifetime. But a week that starts with terrible pain & uncertainty as to whether you're actually going to get better and lying there catheterised & starving with a neurotic wife hanging round your bedside is maybe a little different...

Anyway, back to the OP - it's a sensible idea to ask for what help you can get, in my opinion, even if you do strongly want to give up. Belt and braces.


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

Ingélou said:


> That makes you an unusual individual - most people have to struggle more. :tiphat:


Not really, that was my point.

I was never good at finding a reason. Being able to find a reason at will would be unusual.

The struggle is wanting to stop but not finding a reason, how I spent most my time.



Ingélou said:


> As regards the 'week' - an ordinary week would not be long enough to break the habit of a lifetime. But a week that starts with terrible pain & uncertainty as to whether you're actually going to get better and lying there catheterised & starving with a neurotic wife hanging round your bedside is maybe a little different...


seems this supplied the reason... 

anyway, yes, back to the OP


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

atsizat said:


> i started drinking once 3 days and drink to get stone drunk. Are there people who have alcohol addiction here?
> 
> I find life so meaningless and get bored of living when i am sober.


You ask how to give up alcohol. One big point that will help you is that you realise that it isn't a good thing, getting drunk continually. So at one level you do want to stop. But you also have other problems that mean that your life seems meaningless and boring when you're sober. In the long run you will have to make some changes to your way of life. But in the short term, as people have said, you need to strengthen your wish to stop, which will make it easier to give up. And the best way to do that, as posters who are doctors have suggested, is to start by getting medical help and having other groups and agencies recommended to you who will make the process easier by providing you with physical, psychological and social strategies.

You may find this link helpful:

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/advice...down/how-to-stop-drinking-alcohol-completely/

Good luck with it all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



eljr said:


> Not really, that was my point.
> 
> I was never good at finding a reason. Being able to find a reason at will would be unusual.
> 
> The struggle is wanting to stop but not finding a reason, how I spent most my time.


I politely disagree. In my experience of life & people I have known, wanting to lose weight or stop smoking or give up alcohol does not make it easy to do - there is still struggle and backsliding, although obviously wanting to give up strongly for good reasons is an excellent start.

So I shall persist in regarding you as an unusual person, while hoping to bail out of this conversation fairly soon, as the thread is not about you or me. :tiphat:


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## Larkenfield (Jun 5, 2017)

atsizat said:


> i started drinking once 3 days and drink to get stone drunk. Are there people who have alcohol addiction here?
> 
> I find life so meaningless and get bored of living when i am sober.


Maybe it's time to let others be the alcoholics so you can liberate yourself... by starting to take walks around the block, getting out in Nature, finding out what you love and what you're good at, taking a class, being more of service to others by taking some of the focus off yourself, and making some surprising discoveries so life is far more worth living. I'm sure there are plenty of people here willing to cheer you on as you climb out of the valley and head toward the mountains. Best wishes, Lark


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

Ingélou said:


> You ask how to give up alcohol. One big point that will help you is that you realise that it isn't a good thing, getting drunk continually. So at one level you do want to stop. But you also have other problems that mean that your life seems meaningless and boring when you're sober. In the long run you will have to make some changes to your way of life. But in the short term, as people have said, you need to strengthen your wish to stop, which will make it easier to give up. And the best way to do that, as posters who are doctors have suggested, is to start by getting medical help and having other groups and agencies recommended to you who will make the process easier by providing you with physical, psychological and social strategies.
> 
> You may find this link helpful:
> 
> ...


I did not say it was easy. (This is the second time I have been misrepresented.)

I said the remedy was "simple" which it is.

OK, I do know that in a way I am unusual. My will power is very strong (it is NOT easy) and I take personal responsibility for my life which most mouth but never do. Being as I am has made my life more difficult in many, many ways. It's a daily life of "pushing myself through the pain threshold" as it were. The positive is I generally do accomplished what I set out to accomplish. 
Not "easy"but it is simple.

To the OP, when you find a reason powerful enough, to yourself, you will stop. I recommend you find one. Many good recommendations in this thread. Many alcoholics talk of hitting a personal low, that becomes their reason to stop. Don't wait for that to occur.

and when you find a doctor, find one that understands the value of a taper is my recommendation.


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## Radames (Feb 27, 2013)

dogen said:


> I'm sorry but I do not believe that it is that simple and it is unhelpful to the person concerned.
> 
> Want to lose weight? Eat less and exercise; it really is that simple. No, it's not.


Actually it is that SIMPLE. It's just not that EASY. Same with drug/alcohol addiction. Just don't take whatever it is you are taking - simple, but not easy.



atsizat said:


> i started drinking once 3 days and drink to get stone drunk. Are there people who have alcohol addiction here?
> 
> I find life so meaningless and get bored of living when i am sober.


My mother drank herself to death in her 40s. It's a long and painful process, nothing like in that stupid Nick Cage film. It takes more like 8 years, not 8 months. My father lost his short term memory due to drinking - Korsakov's from thiamine deficiency. As long as the you are unable to control the drinking I suggest taking very large doses of b vitamins and extra thiamine.

Is there any less harmful thing you can get addicted to? When my father finally quit drinking he got cravings for sugar. It's like that for many people. I do eat lots of chocolate.


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## Guest (Mar 29, 2018)

Radames said:


> Actually it is that SIMPLE. It's just not that EASY. Same with drug/alcohol addiction. Just don't take whatever it is you are taking - simple, but not easy


I hope the OP finds that clarification helpful.


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## Nate Miller (Oct 24, 2016)

ok, you guys wonder why I never got famous? because when I was young and my friends were getting signed by record companies...I was just drunk

I started playing in bars when I was 14.

by the time I was 21 I drank like a fish and did a lot of drugs

at age 40 I found God and turned my life around

I have kicked opium, and I tell you quitting drinking is the hardest because it is socially acceptable, and you will lose friends when you do it. You have to. you just can't be around your drinking buddies and have any hope of really quitting the drink.

that fella eljr that keeps saying you have to want to quit is dead right. Anybody saying he's wrong never had the jones and just doesn't know

and I never needed any medical anybody. Me and Jesus is all I needed and all I'll ever need

the Church will help you with that "life is pointless and empty" feeling, too

a man that walks with God never knows a life without purpose again


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## Desafinado (Apr 13, 2014)

eljr said:


> Just want to stop drinking.
> 
> It really is that simple.
> 
> BTW, if you have been drinking daily for a few months or more their is a very real and potentially very dangerous withdrawal symptom associated with cessation. You will need to taper off alcohol.


I agree that when it comes to quitting alcohol sometimes people make it into a big, grandiose venture, rather than recognizing that, essentially, you just have to start drinking less.

But I would add that quitting drinking, nor any habit change is as simple as just stopping and getting on with your life. In my experience the easiest way to change a habit is slow and steady. If you drink three beers a night, cut it back to two/night for a month. Once you're drinking 2 beers a night, cut it back to 2 beers a night between Thursday - Saturday.

This method is a lot easier on our will-power. Slow and steady change until the desired end-goal is solidified.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

If you can quit all by yourself--or just you and Jesus--that's great. Problem solved.

If not, seek professional help. It's out there.

All that matters is what works for *you*.


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## Guest (Apr 1, 2018)

eljr said:


> Not really, that was my point.
> 
> I was never good at finding a reason. Being able to find a reason at will would be unusual.
> 
> ...


I can relate to this. I've always had a compulsion to eat and drink excessively, but I had a reason for controlling it, which was my enjoyment of athletic challenges. This more or less helped me to keep my obesity under control. When I became ill 6 or 7 years ago it stopped me from engaging in these athletic pursuits. I haven't been successful in finding a replacement reason to consume less, or at least not one that has proved to last very long, and the result has been putting on 50lb in the period after I became ill.

Your point is also relevant to the OP, since he finds his life boring and meaningless when sober.

So yes, finding the elusive reason is a key point in stopping.


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## EricABQ (Jul 10, 2012)

I’ll weigh in with my own experience. 

Over I would say the last 10 years I became what could charitably be called a functioning alcoholic. Over the last two years the “functioning” part was becoming increasingly debatable. 

So, time for change. Tried the two week sobriety challenges and usually made it a day or two. Then, I tried establishing rules. For example, no alcohol on certain days per week, no alcohol before workdays, etc. Not much luck with that either. Going to AA or any kind of group thing is out of the question just because of the way I am. 

So, I decided to try enforced portion control. I basically never have more alcohol in the house than I would want to drink in one day. Instead of buying a full bottle of whiskey, I buy a 200ml size. Never more than one bottle of wine, and as soon as I get home I pour out one glass of the bottle. While I would never call this plan a victory over my drinking problem, I’ve actually stuck,with it and I’ve drastically cut down on the volume I drink and have eliminated the days and nights where things get out of hand. 

One caution on this plan is you have to trust that when you finish what you allowed yourself you won’t get in the car to go get more.

So, ultimately I wish I could just stop, but with this plan I’ve managed to end the truly abusive drinking and have even cut down the number of days per week I drink to no more than four. 

I’m not sure I’d recommend this to anyone else because it does have risks but it has helped me.


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## atsizat (Sep 14, 2015)

This week is my exam week and It is being very difficult for me not to drink for one week. I fantasy about Alcohol while studing during the exam week. Tomorrow is the last day of the exam week and I can't wait for tomorrow to come so that I can drink.


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## chill782002 (Jan 12, 2017)

I've never had an issue with alcohol and drink very little but I did have an issue with...another substance in my late teens / early 20s. The only advice I can give is to echo other posters, you have to want to stop. For me, this came only when I finally realised how much I was damaging my health and, more importantly, my relationships with other people whom I cared about. Whether or not you can then return to it occasionally on a limited and controlled basis is a question only you can answer. In my case, I had to stop completely and haven't indulged in that particular vice for 20 or so years. I feel much better for it though. I wish you the best of luck.


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

atsizat said:


> This week is my exam week and It is being very difficult for me not to drink for one week. I fantasy about Alcohol while studing during the exam week. Tomorrow is the last day of the exam week and I can't wait for tomorrow to come so that I can drink.


Sounds like AA would benefit you.
Trust me, I am anything but an AA advocate but for some people it serves well.


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## Strange Magic (Sep 14, 2015)

Cigarettes do not act upon the mind in the same way that alcohol does, but they are also very addicting. I quit when I became concerned that I might be developing throat cancer. This changed my thinking: from regarding smoking as my friend and quieter/calmer, I decided it had turned on me and become my enemy; I had been good to smoking but it had betrayed me. So I decided to quit cold turkey, and to see how long it would take my family and co-workers, friends, etc. to figure out I had quit. Since I've found that immediately replacing one habit with another has worked well for me in the past, I also immediately began a regimen of bicycle-riding in lieu of smoking. After dinner, when the urge to smoke was strong, instead I arose from the table, climbed on the bike, and went for a long ride. The first week was grim, but I succeeded, and have remained smoke-free for 35 years now. Never think about it anymore and haven't for decades. 

So it might help to try replacing your bad habit with a good one. I can also attest to the fact that 12-step programs work for many, but that's a whole 'nother story.


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## chill782002 (Jan 12, 2017)

That's one bad habit I haven't been able to give up yet although I plan to work it. I still think it's better than the other one was though.


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## Capeditiea (Feb 23, 2018)

in my personal experience... i was turned away from alcohol by my dad being an alcoholic and how he was... not only that but the only local friend being one... and how he is very similar to how my dad was... 

My dad quit cold turkey because of health reasons. (which the same year he quit cigarettes which he was a chain smoker also cold turkey.) 

I simply never wanted to end up like them... and decided cannabis is way better of an altering mind experience.  plus there is no hang over. 


as to give advice... since i do know how addictions feel... (due to other harder drugs i have done...) Use the money you would spend on alcohol for something else. Make a new habit. I ended up taking the cathartic route. Where i would write when ever i felt the cravings. (though it never worked for tobacco... now i vape...) but prevent your self from going out and buying more alcohol with any means possible. (a few examples is to have a friend tie you up to a bed, in a fairly confortable position... so you could sleep, or excersize, or what ever floats your boat.)

Try everything you possibly can for as long as you can. (this works with an unknown amount of time.) Inevitably your mind would be too preoccupied with learning something new... 

I do know that certain folk have horrifying withdrawls for months afterwards. After those withdrawls are through it is all downhill from there. 

Put on a piece of paper in big bold letters

# DON'T RELAPSE! 

do this for five papers. 

for the subconscious ones. 
tape one to your bedroom wall next to the light switch. 
another on the wall in back of the chair you usualy sit in. (preferably the one you used to drink in.)

for the conscious ones
since you study, tape one on the wall where you study. somewhere were you can simply see it when you are feeling the pressure. 
tape one to the bathroom mirror lower right or lower left corner. 
finally one to the front door or the door you would usually take to leave.

This way you would have a constant reminder of your goal.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Strange Magic said:


> Cigarettes do not act upon the mind in the same way that alcohol does, but they are also very addicting. I quit when I became concerned that I might be developing throat cancer. This changed my thinking: from regarding smoking as my friend and quieter/calmer, I decided it had turned on me and become my enemy; I had been good to smoking but it had betrayed me.


Kind of feel the same way with alcohol lately. Although I only drink on weekends socially, it's usually to excess. I'm starting to see this less and less as social drinking and more as a little committee of codependent problem drinkers. Amusingly, I'm not sure if I even enjoy the effects of alcohol anymore, which mostly present as a tiredness and sluggish thought. But not sure how to give it up entirely without foregoing a social life. I live alone and by the end of the week can be quite lonely, so it's hard to decline weekend invitations. I've joined some clubs and sports teams but they also tend to involve drinking during and afterwards.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

One thing I've discovered, a wine glass of sparking water, dash of lemon juice, and a few drops of Aragosta bitters are a good mid-week post-work evening drink that won't disrupt your sleep but allow you to have a drink-in-hand during evening unwinding.


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## Gaspard de la Nuit (Oct 20, 2014)

My mom is an alcoholic....in her case she doesn't have any desire to stop drinking, the only thing that seems to stop her is lack of funding. I consider it to be just a consequence of the overall nature of her personality. I'm sorry to say this in a thread full of people who are struggling but because this is my experience with an alcoholic, I don't have any sympathy for people who say they are addicted...in many instances, saying "X is a disease" or "X is chemically addictive" is just a way to skirt having to think further about the issue. Sorry if this post makes anyone feel even shittier than they already did but I felt impelled to relate some of my experience.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Gaspard de la Nuit said:


> My mom is an alcoholic....in her case she doesn't have any desire to stop drinking, the only thing that seems to stop her is lack of funding. I consider it to be just a consequence of the overall nature of her personality. I'm sorry to say this in a thread full of people who are struggling but because this is my experience with an alcoholic, I don't have any sympathy for people who say they are addicted...in many instances, saying "X is a disease" or "X is chemically addictive" is just a way to skirt having to think further about the issue. Sorry if this post makes anyone feel even shittier than they already did but I felt impelled to relate some of my experience.


I've met a few people who combine a complete lack of self-awareness with zero impulse control, for whom addiction is probably unrecoverable. For most people though, recovery is possible there's no excuse for letting one's addiction harm others.


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## Strange Magic (Sep 14, 2015)

Couchie said:


> One thing I've discovered, a wine glass of sparking water, dash of lemon juice, and a few drops of Aragosta bitters are a good mid-week post-work evening drink that won't disrupt your sleep but allow you to have a drink-in-hand during evening unwinding.


I went to college and befriended a fellow who was welcome at any party--always had a great time; was liked by all; fitted right in. Later found out (from him) that he was a teetotaler because alcohol made him horribly sick, and so the drinks he always had in his hand during a party or other such gathering were strictly alcohol-free. Nobody noticed or cared.

I am fortunate that, over the decades, my stomach's tolerance for alcohol became strictly limited to two drinks only; a third would invariably result in hours of vomiting so extreme that I became really frightened that I might have a heart attack. So, if I drink at all, it's always stop at two--and it's getting to be more stop at one or have a ginger ale instead .


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## Totenfeier (Mar 11, 2016)

Two great quotes on drinking:

"One martini is all right. Two is too many. Three is not enough." - James Thurber, American humorist.

" First you take a drink. Then the drink takes a drink. Then the drink takes you." -source unknown

I went on a three-year bender after my father died (even though our relationship was...complex). My health declined, my relationships declined dramatically, and it was finally made clear to me that my relationships would simply stop unless _I _ stopped and got help. The help has helped, tremendously. So I agree with everyone who tells you to seek professional help quickly, and I would also say that you've got to find whatever it is you love more than that drinking feeling. It can be a sobering realization (pun intended) that it's no longer you in control of your life and thoughts and actions; it's no longer your loved ones; it's no longer your friends who care about you; it's no longer your God, your spirituality, or your own set of moral rules that is in control: it is the liquid in that bottle that has _total_ control over you. The liquid in that bottle.


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