# Can beautiful music make you fall in love?



## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

I think we all agree that music can enhance emotion. 

But

Can it make you fall in love? 

I was at a concert last week when a women from the choir stepped forward for a solo. I was in the first pew and we made eye contact. We held eye contact for a substantial time. (no more than 10 feet from each other) I felt her look right into my soul as I did hers'.

What a magnificent experience!


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## Fabulin (Jun 10, 2019)

Singing used to be a prime mating activity before humans developed language. If an attractive singer is singing with genuine emotion, and you happen to be in the line of fire of their stage act, that's not exactly healthy. Unless you realize what's going on and control your feelings, you might accidentally fall in love.


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## DaveM (Jun 29, 2015)

eljr said:


> I was at a concert last week when a women from the choir stepped forward for a solo. I was in the first pew and we made eye contact. We held eye contact for a substantial time. (no more than 10 feet from each other)


So she wasn't bothered by your cellphone? :devil:


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## larold (Jul 20, 2017)

I think what you describe is a moment in time shared between people who enjoyed the moment. Not sure if it is love or made anyone do anything. It all sounded voluntary to me.

I'm not much of a believer in anything, short of gunpoint or something similar, being able to "make" me or you do anything.

I think if you are already predisposed emotionally to take certain action (such as the experience you describe) and/or have been otherwise planning it then music or anything else may become the fuse.

I think perhaps the opposite is more likely: can terrible or unpleasant music make me turn off the radio? I know that has happened many times in the car.


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

Sounds like there was more than just music going on there. 

Did you talk to her after the concert? If not, was it really love? Or does an actual relationship merely destroy true love? Maybe it only exists in music.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

I think there is a glamour in music that when it unites you with someone else - auditor and soloist, teacher & pupil, fellow-duettist - it does involve a feeling of happiness and fondness for the person that is a lot like falling in love. 

It is potentially a dangerous glamour that - if the two are in a situation to know each other - can blind someone to what the other person is truly like. And if the two are not in such a situation, there can be a danger of stalking, or else that the 'crush' developed by the auditor makes him/her seriously unhappy.


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## premont (May 7, 2015)

Yes, beautiful music can make me fall in love - with the music.


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

DaveM said:


> So she wasn't bothered by your cellphone? :devil:


LOL

Listen to this, you will appreciate it!

Not once but twice during the performance a cell phone went off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And both times it rang 5-6 times!!!!!!!!

I was more than a bit upset.

You must have put the hex on me!!!!!!!!

How does one not turn off their ringer at a concert? It was the last thing uttered before the program began.

Freakin' Neanderthals.


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

Ingélou said:


> It is potentially a dangerous glamour that - if the two are in a situation to know each other - can blind someone to what the other person is truly like. And if the two are not in such a situation, there can be a danger of stalking, or else that the 'crush' developed by the auditor makes him/her seriously unhappy.


LOL, a stalker is a personality disorder which can manifest in any situation. Music most certainly does not cause stalking. LOL


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

science said:


> Sounds like there was more than just music going on there.
> 
> Did you talk to her after the concert? If not, was it really love? Or does an actual relationship merely destroy true love? Maybe it only exists in music.


What a great line, thought, musing, question. "Does an actual relationship merely destroy true love?"

As love is idealization and projection followed by an act of commitment I would vote no.

However, what I experienced was, in truth, nothing more than an outflow of endorphins facilitated by a voice, a glance, a setting and the female form.

Wait, an outflow of endorphins facilitated as such can indeed be the foundation of true love!

--------------------------

No, I did not speak to the songstress after the show, she was far to fleet of foot. I did try. Companion by my side and all.


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## Larkenfield (Jun 5, 2017)

I find the connection that you had as marvelous and would wish that kind of an experience for everyone. Perhaps it’s even better when it happens later in life. I was fortunate to be in a 10 year relationship with a wonderful singer and it certainly enhanced the love in our life without necessarily initiating it. It was quite glorious.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

eljr said:


> LOL, a stalker is a personality disorder which can manifest *in any situation*. Music most certainly does not cause stalking. LOL


In any situation, *including music*.

The *state of mind* causes stalking, yes, of course - I am not sure that you read my post closely enough.

But the state of mind, *obsession*, can be nurtured (or not) by the 'falling in love/ mystical rapport' brought on in one person's mind by a shared moment in music. So it's not music's fault - it's the misinterpretation of a heightened emotional state, which the person imagines is shared by 'the other person'.

Many other stimuli can nurture stalking too, besides music. Anything, really, which engages the imagination and emotions.

But because music is *such* an inspiring thing, it makes it much easier for someone to fool themselves into believing they've had a mystical moment which brings on a falling in love forever on both sides.

Only time will tell if it's a true interpretation.

So my answer to the thread question is - 'it's possible, but not very likely.'


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

eljr said:


> What a great line, thought, musing, question. "Does an actual relationship merely destroy true love?"
> 
> As love is idealization and projection followed by an act of commitment I would vote no.
> 
> ...


I should credit the medieval romance tradition for that idea. Didn't invent it myself.


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## Tsaraslondon (Nov 7, 2013)

eljr said:


> I was at a concert last week when a women from the choir stepped forward for a solo. I was in the first pew and we made eye contact. We held eye contact for a substantial time. (no more than 10 feet from each other) I felt her look right into my soul as I did hers'.


Did you take a photo of her with your phone? :devil:


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

Tsaraslondon said:


> Did you take a photo of her with your phone? :devil:


See above

The pause in the performance had to be extended waiting for some knucklehead to turn of their phone as it rang during the performance.

At Lincoln Center they now "collect" your cell phone pre-concert and return it afterwards. As of now it is a voluntary program.


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## Haabrann (Mar 30, 2019)

Does ''last slow-dancing tune before closing at the Barn Party'' count?
If so, a few times.


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## Haabrann (Mar 30, 2019)

Usually the ''last dance'' was just stuff like Nazareth Love Hurts, and the like. But sometimes the planets aligned, and you fell in love, again.


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## Gallus (Feb 8, 2018)

eljr said:


> I think we all agree that music can enhance emotion.
> 
> But
> 
> ...


I don't believe that "substantial eye contact' counts as 'falling in love'.


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## Ethereality (Apr 6, 2019)

I don't really get the thread question. It's obvious. It happens so many times in subtle ways, that's why we end up in love with movies, operas, the characters within them--we even fall in love with the emotions manifested by them: wonder, fear, comfort, sadness. We dream about lives and places while breathing or dancing to their associated tunes, an old favorite piece or something new. You have these associations upon rehearing music. The senses are all connected. What were great composers like Beethoven thinking of most during their fanatic love: could it be music? And can other humans empathize with music?


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## eljr (Aug 8, 2015)

Gallus said:


> I don't believe that "substantial eye contact' counts as 'falling in love'.


why?

Love, if broken down, is merely idealization and projection. Qualities that have no time constraints to be birthed.

Now mix in a health dose of endorphins released as a result of pre-conceptualized utopia manifest in song and environment and wallah! You have love!


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## Rubens (Nov 5, 2017)

Infatuation is great. I wish I could feel it like I did in my 20s. Now it's just sex sex sex.


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## Weston (Jul 11, 2008)

I don’t think music can make you fall in love, rather falling in love makes great music.


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