# Why I don't have friends.



## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

I was in a liquor store today looking for a Riesling. The store keeper walks over to me and asks if I'm German. I reply, "I wish". So she asks why I need German wine. I reply, "I'll be watching some Wagner tonight and I don't mix, darling". She walks away without saying anything.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

People would rather have German friends than friends that _wish_ they were German.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

Couchie said:


> The only reason I used to make the effort of befriending people is so I had people to drink with. Now I've discovered the artful zen of drinking alone and I don't have to put up with people's incessant chatter. Life is good.


This too, right?


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

I'm 1/4 German actually. 1/4 Russian and the rest Welsh.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

Couchie said:


> I'm 1/4 German actually. 1/4 Russian and the rest Welsh.


Another reason why you don't have friends.


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Couchie said:


> I'm 1/4 German actually. 1/4 Russian and the rest Welsh.


That will be 3/4 Welsh then?


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## Guest (Apr 1, 2012)

Couchie said:


> I'm 1/4 German actually. 1/4 Russian and the rest Welsh.


Oh you poor bugger, don't give up there will be someone out there that likes you.


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## Kopachris (May 31, 2010)

My local liquor store has a US$5 Riesling that goes quite well with poached Whiting fillet and Wagner.

Oh, wait. That's not what this thread is about.


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

Couchie, it might have been better to initiate the conversation at the liquor store with the universal greeting "How about them Leafs?"


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

Perhaps I'm excessively cynical, but I simply do not expect to find people in real life who share my interests closely enough to have a meaningful conversation. I have a friend for classic rock, blues, and jazz up to about 1968. I used to have a friend for literature. There are a couple of women who'll occasionally watch an opera with me. And my wife makes a real effort now and then - to be fair to her, I really don't like most of her TV shows, but she has sucked me in with a few of them (currently _Modern Family_ and _The Big Bang Theory_).

But I also don't take any pride in displaying my cultural superiority. People know. I don't have to flaunt it. So I have some friends.


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## Guest (Apr 2, 2012)

science said:


> Perhaps I'm excessively cynical, but I simply do not expect to find people in real life who share my interests closely enough to have a meaningful conversation. I have a friend for classic rock, blues, and jazz up to about 1968. I used to have a friend for literature. There are a couple of women who'll occasionally watch an opera with me. And my wife makes a real effort now and then - to be fair to her, I really don't like most of her TV shows, but she has sucked me in with a few of them (currently _Modern Family_ and _The Big Bang Theory_).
> 
> But I also don't take any pride in displaying my cultural superiority. People know. I don't have to flaunt it. So I have some friends.


So, you are a male of the species! why such an avatar? do you have a fetish for high heels? or are you bi-sexual?


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

Andante said:


> So, you are a male of the species! why such an avatar? do you have a fetish for high heels? or are you bi-sexual?


I think he has made it pretty apparent that he has a wife if you take a look at some of his other posts.


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## Delicious Manager (Jul 16, 2008)

Couchie said:


> I was in a liquor store today looking for a Riesling. The store keeper walks over to me and asks if I'm German. I reply, "I wish". So she asks why I need German wine. I reply, "I'll be watching some Wagner tonight and I don't mix, darling". She walks away without saying anything.


Perhaps you should have asked if SHE was German and, if not, why she needs to stock German wine on her shelves. What an odd take on 'customer relations'!


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

Come on now, Couchie, that ain't the only reason now is it?


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

Couchie said:


> I was in a liquor store today looking for a Riesling. The store keeper walks over to me and asks if I'm German. I reply, "I wish". So she asks why I need German wine. I reply, "I'll be watching some Wagner tonight and I don't mix, darling". She walks away without saying anything.


It's all in the "darling". Indicates that you're a weissenheimer.


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

Andante said:


> So, you are a male of the species! why such an avatar? do you have a fetish for high heels? or are you bi-sexual?


My secrets die with me.


And with Rick Santorum, John Ashcroft, Barney the Dinosaur, Handy Smurf, The Rock, and Chuck Norris. My secrets die with us.


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

science said:


> [...]
> But I also don't take any pride in displaying my cultural superiority. People know. I don't have to flaunt it. So I have some friends.


Same deal with my cultural superiority. I'm a hillbilly by accident of birth. I feel not pride but noblesse oblige.


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## Cnote11 (Jul 17, 2010)

science said:


> Perhaps I'm excessively cynical, but I simply do not expect to find people in real life who share my interests closely enough to have a meaningful conversation. I have a friend for classic rock, blues, and jazz up to about 1968. I used to have a friend for literature. There are a couple of women who'll occasionally watch an opera with me. And my wife makes a real effort now and then - to be fair to her, I really don't like most of her TV shows, but she has sucked me in with a few of them (currently _Modern Family_ and _The Big Bang Theory_).
> 
> But I also don't take any pride in displaying my cultural superiority. People know. I don't have to flaunt it. So I have some friends.


Oh god, The Big Bang Theory is the worst show I've ever watched. I don't even meet friends who have interests in those things. The great thing about my life is my fiancee is interested in everything that I am. She's even constantly turning me onto free jazz and atonal classical music and stuff like that. She's heavy into art music and art film, philosophy, and all that sort of stuff. I've always hated the idea of having separate friends for every interest and hobby. We do everything together, from fashion shopping, to watching all the same shows, watching/playing sports, going to concerts, etc. etc. There isn't any real difference in the things we embrace and we genuinely enjoy eachother's interests. Makes the need for friends an absolute zero!


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

Wow. That sounds like the sort of like-on-like girlfriend that Sheldon has. Sure you don't watch that show?


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## Cnote11 (Jul 17, 2010)

Positive, as I have no idea what you're talking about.


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## SiegendesLicht (Mar 4, 2012)

Couchie said:


> I was in a liquor store today looking for a Riesling. The store keeper walks over to me and asks if I'm German. I reply, "I wish". So she asks why I need German wine. I reply, "I'll be watching some Wagner tonight and I don't mix, darling". She walks away without saying anything.


You seem to be even more Germanophile than the Germans themselves.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

"I'd like a Riesling, and your papers, please."


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## Guest (Apr 2, 2012)

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I think he has made it pretty apparent that he has a wife if you take a look at some of his other posts.


Don't you have a sense of humour ??


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

Cnote11 said:


> Oh god, The Big Bang Theory is the worst show I've ever watched.


At the very least you need to watch some "Joey" or something to get perspective.

But for a real treat, check out this Korean drama/sitcom that's on now - North and South Korean spies joining forces to win some international competition, with adventures such as when they find out that the treadmills they're running on are bombed and if they stop running they'll all blow up - so queue up a long montage of the stars running, looking worried, getting sweatier and increasingly tired, all set to music mimicking the _Titanic_ soundtrack. If you can put up with it for seven or eight minutes, the deus will get all ex machina and then we can have some really predictable romance - the girl super-spy is starting to realize that the incompetent prince (South Korea is a kingdom in this story) actually has a heart of gold.

_That_ is perspective.


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

Cnote11 said:


> Oh god, The Big Bang Theory is the worst show I've ever watched. I don't even meet friends who have interests in those things.


Just when I thought Cnote was cool. That's why, like Science, I have a friend for everything.


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## Cnote11 (Jul 17, 2010)

I'm sorry, but any Chuck Lorre is automatically out for me. I just can't stand his style of humor. I never saw Joey, but I find Friends to be a horrible show as well so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like it. However, that Korean show seems awesome


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

Andante said:


> Don't you have a sense of humour ??


No. Since when?



science said:


> My secrets die with me.
> 
> And with Rick Santorum, John Ashcroft, Barney the Dinosaur, Handy Smurf, The Rock, and Chuck Norris. My secrets die with us.


Who the heck are they???


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## Philip (Mar 22, 2011)

Cnote11 said:


> Oh god, The Big Bang Theory is the worst show I've ever watched. I don't even meet friends who have interests in those things. The great thing about my life is my fiancee is interested in everything that I am. She's even constantly turning me onto free jazz and atonal classical music and stuff like that. She's heavy into art music and art film, philosophy, and all that sort of stuff. I've always hated the idea of having separate friends for every interest and hobby. We do everything together, from fashion shopping, to watching all the same shows, watching/playing sports, going to concerts, etc. etc. There isn't any real difference in the things we embrace and we genuinely enjoy eachother's interests. Makes the need for friends an absolute zero!


Sounds like the average hipster couple...... :lol:


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## Cnote11 (Jul 17, 2010)

Well then, I'm glad other people can have relationships as happy as mine. We tend to leave out the drum circle thing though.


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

Couchie said:


> I'm 1/4 German actually. 1/4 Russian and the rest Welsh.


Well get Welsh bass-baritone Bryn Terfel to sing some aria in German (composed by you-know-who), accompanied by a Russian orchestra & you're covered. Throw in a Canadian conductor & that would be your ideal musical-ethnic combination.

This is the best joke I can do guys. & it's pretty pathetic. So in future I'll stick to the boring things as usual.


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## Xaltotun (Sep 3, 2010)

SiegendesLicht said:


> You seem to be even more Germanophile than the Germans themselves.


Hey, there's no more Germanophobic people around than the Germans!

p.s. Couchie, I also drink German wine when watching Wagner operas, but I prefer Gewürztraminer ,)


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## SiegendesLicht (Mar 4, 2012)

I like to have a German beer once in a while while listening to Wagner. I can't do it every time though, since I listen to him too often.

And after the finale of the "Meistersinger von Nürnberg" I stand up and sing "Deutschland über alles" at full volume


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## Guest (Apr 3, 2012)

SiegendesLicht said:


> I like to have a German beer once in a while while listening to Wagner. I can't do it every time though, since I listen to him too often.
> 
> And after the finale of the "Meistersinger von Nürnberg" I stand up and sing "Deutschland über alles" at full volume


That's nothing - too much Wagner, and I feel like annexing the Sudetenland!


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> Who the heck are they???


Another priceless CoAG-can't-into-pop-culture moment!


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

Crudblud said:


> Another priceless CoAG-can't-into-pop-culture moment!


Pfffft. I can into pop culture. I've just never heard of most of them.


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

I want to pat you on the head.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

Crudblud said:


> I want to pat you on the head.


I only discovered that Frank Zappa did rock music a few months ago. Before then I thought of him as classical/jazz/weird.


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## Philip (Mar 22, 2011)

Cnote11 said:


> Well then, I'm glad other people can have relationships as happy as mine. We tend to leave out the drum circle thing though.


Hey Cnote11, was that you at the Apple store the other day??


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## Cnote11 (Jul 17, 2010)

Never! I despise Apple.

I now understand the significance of the high wheel bicycle.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Cnote11 said:


> Never! I despise Apple.


Interesting. Do you prefer poorly constructed computers? Do you love mediocrity?


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

Couchie said:


> Interesting. Do you prefer poorly constructed computers? Do you love mediocrity?


Man, you're funny. _That_ company is now going through the mill of the Australian Federal Court for _allegedly _making false claims. Yeah, their computers are great, just that they _apparently_ don't work!

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/aus...h-ipads-4g-claim/story-e6frgb0o-1226316766097


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## Crudblud (Dec 29, 2011)

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I only discovered that Frank Zappa did rock music a few months ago. Before then I thought of him as classical/jazz/weird.


His rock/pop stuff is often dismissed by more "serious" listeners for no reason other than it is often humourous, and as we both know; humour = novelty = trash.

Serious people suck.


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## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)




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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Sid James said:


> Man, you're funny. _That_ company is now going through the mill of the Australian Federal Court for _allegedly _making false claims. Yeah, their computers are great, just that they _apparently_ don't work!
> 
> http://www.theaustralian.com.au/aus...h-ipads-4g-claim/story-e6frgb0o-1226316766097


Well I hate Apple as well. Although I like the things they make.


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## Cnote11 (Jul 17, 2010)

Couchie said:


> Interesting. Do you prefer poorly constructed computers? Do you love mediocrity?


I concur that the laptop I have right now is complete trash! Hell of a lot cheaper though  Never buy an Acer. That is my advice for you.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

Couchie said:


> I was in a liquor store today looking for a Riesling. The store keeper walks over to me and asks if I'm German. I reply, "I wish". So she asks why I need German wine. I reply, "I'll be watching some Wagner tonight and I don't mix, darling". She walks away without saying anything.


Canadian whines don't travel well, it seems.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

PetrB said:


> whines


Is that an intentional misspelling?


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

Couchie said:


> I'm 1/4 German actually. 1/4 Russian and the rest Welsh.


What is the physical positioning of said quadrants and the half? Left, right, waist up, waist down?


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

science said:


> My secrets die with me.


But you are going to be buried with that pink and black patent leather spiked pump, aren't you?


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

kv466 said:


> Come on now, Couchie, that ain't the only reason now is it?


General appearance and 'looks' might be a factor here....


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

clavichorder said:


> Is that an intentional misspelling?


Its a correct spelling of an intentional homonym.


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

PetrB said:


> But you are going to be buried with that pink and black patent leather spiked pump, aren't you?


Unless the coroners remove it from my skull.


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