# I did hurt my bf because of sport



## isabelle49000 (Feb 19, 2018)

Hello

So I am 29 years. I teach ballet for young girls and I dance my self since...almost al my life. My 24 bf is a military and a bit macho.He regulary tease me cause "ballet is easy it s just dancing"… I know it’s half for laughing and half serious but im used to it and generally i dont answer back

Anyway, unless his macho behaviour all is great but with the work and daily things to do I struggle to get some time with my bf. To fix that, we did decide to make some sport together. What was the more complicated was to find a sport that can fit for both of us. I wanted salsa or a dance sport but he refuses, he wants tennis but i hate racket sport… So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me judo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let’s try it…

Finally, after 5 lessons, we both had fun going there. I had the feeling to improve and feel really good practicing. We were on the same club, same training but we had our partner for the “fight part” in the end of the lesson. Sometimes at home we discuss about the move together.

Last week, my partner was away so just before the fight part my bf look at me with a “challenging smile”. He ask me to try it with him telling me “so?let’s fight bunhead”. He tease me a bit telling me he’ll show me “who’s my boss” bla bla bla … I am few centimeters taller so ok let’s try it!

We hang each other kimono and turn around. I pull his sleeve, to the left, to the right. I notice it seems i have a better balance. Then I straighten my leg out and fall on him to the ground. He struggle to escape but I wrapped by arm around his head, block his shoulders on the ground and count to 5 (we need to pin the opponent 5 sec to win). I can’t stop that large smile on my face while his turn all red struggling. I help him to get up and prepare for the 2nd round.

Now he seems really focus. I still smile while he seems really serious. He try to crotch my leg but I counter him. I pull his kimono and fall on him again. On the ground I sit on his chest and block his arm. He struggle but almost cant move anymore. I bend his arm and stare at him whispering to his ear “give up babe your bunhead got you hihihih!”. He seems to refuse at first. I make a kiss on his cheek and tease him saying where is the tough soldier now? He seems really mad at me. Finally I bend a bit more his arm and he tap 3 times the ground saying stop!! I give..

I get up and prepare for the 3rd round. I just can’t stop my little laugh because it’s so unusual for me to get the upperhand. He walk and sit on a bank, waiting for the end of the lesson… I come with him

He asked me to drive and I struggle to not have the bizarre silence that can sometimes happen. He just say nothing and i make a monologue about housework or whatever. Seems that he told me he doesnt want to go there anymore. I laugh a bit at first asking him if it’s because I beat him but he answer me aggressivly that no, he just think it’s suck and he doenst want me to talk about it anymore…

Seems that, I haven’t talk to him about that but he look different, like he worry about something or i don’t know. He’s so cold with me, never laugh and seems even a bit depress…

I really didn’t want to hurt him or whatever and now I don’t know how can I fix that.

Do you have an idea?


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## betterthanfine (Oct 17, 2017)

Tell him to get over his toxic masculinity.


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

That's a funny story. You gave him a good comeuppance. I'd say it is all on him. You did your part.


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

Weren't you the person who last year overcame a burglar at your ballet school? Tell your bf that if he doesn't stop sulking like a child you will tell his friends that you gave him a good whupping - the merciless ribbing from his buds will hurt him more than actual pain he received from you!


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

The only thing you hurt was his "ego" ... too many times we all tend to think that the woman is the weaker sex, which is not necessarily so in today's world. 

Being a devoted military kind of guy he is trained to conquer and win over any opponents. No, you should not give in to his now deflated ego ... you won fair and square and it has HE that challenged you. He asked for it - he unfortunately lost and now he wants to run with his tail between his legs. 

It will take time for him to accept what has happened ... time heals all wounds. Go on with life in a normal fashion - keep up the communication between you and your BF - don't mention the loss in those conversations ... unless he brings it up. 

You both have great respect for each other ... eventually his hurt ego will mend itself. Allow the time to heal.


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## Jacck (Dec 24, 2017)

it sounds like he is a really infantile macho type of guy. It is your life, but I would never ever marry such a type of guy.


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## pianozach (May 21, 2018)

"I think you can do better."

He doesn't sound mature enough to be marriage material. Find someone else that will celebrate your accomplishments and skills instead of being a jerk.


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