# Your bark versus my Bach



## Guest (Sep 1, 2017)

At last; after decades of having to tolerate neighbours' barking dogs I've found a solution. High quality Bluetooth that runs all day, sitting on my window sill next to the neighbour. Next door's (and neighbours) dogs bark all day while their owners are at work, and on the weekends too. So, I'm providing THEM with my own Bach - "The Musical Offering", "The Well-Tempered Klavier" and so on. Calculated to drive them mad. My son did this recently with his next door neighbour and they moved out. He would set his computer to play Bach from U-Tube all day while he was absent at work and, bingo, it worked!! If the council complains I'll claim "equal opportunity for Baching"!! If they say 'they have a dog' I'll say "they choose to have one knowing that dogs bark" and I have a right to Bach too!! Stop theirs and I'll stop mine". Simple. And all thanks to brilliant new technology.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Getting your own Bach at them, eh? 

I once used Borodin as weapon against noisy neighbours. It worked, but also spoiled Borodin for me. So now I am reluctant to weaponize music I like.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

I would have called the police.


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## EdwardBast (Nov 25, 2013)

Pugg said:


> I would have called the police.


Yes! Several places I have lived in the U.S. had ordinances against this kind of habitual disturbance of the peace.

I have a friend who used Mahler and something called Greenday(?) to drive raccoons from her attic.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Pugg said:


> I would have called the police.


In those days I lived in a kind of youth hostel, along with lots of other young students. Under those conditions, calling the police is not really an option.


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

I have had various problems with neighbours but not their dogs, just their music and I use the term loosely, its the sub woofer either in the garden or worse in their hatch back which has been driven onto the garden and the volume turned up with the hatch open all you can hear is boom boom boom, but I don't want to start a war. if only some bright young thing could devise an anti noise generator that I could switch on in these situations.


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

EdwardBast said:


> Yes! Several places I have lived in the U.S. had ordinances against this kind of habitual disturbance of the peace.
> 
> I have a friend who used Mahler and something called Greenday(?) to drive raccoons from her attic.


Are you thinking of Jay Greenberg?


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## Guest (Sep 1, 2017)

Pugg said:


> I would have called the police.


Complaints about barking dogs get you nowhere here; you need 5 people to sign declarations and since they've all got dogs themselves and are at work we are alone in this. So, it would be discrimination to allow the dogs and attempt to stop my Bach-ing. That's the defense I'd be using if it came to that. I'd say I had a hi-fi and they make noise when you turn them on, just as dogs make noise when you choose to own them. As I said, it worked for my son who was driven mad by two small collared rats (as we call them) which barked all day, or when a leaf moved. They left because Bach was too much for them. Thank you, Johann Sebastian; my son has his sanity back. The authorities would do nothing to help him.

We do laugh heartily about this, I have to say.


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## Fugue Meister (Jul 5, 2014)

CountenanceAnglaise said:


> Complaints about barking dogs get you nowhere here; you need 5 people to sign declarations and since they've all got dogs themselves and are at work we are alone in this. So, it would be discrimination to allow the dogs and attempt to stop my Bach-ing. That's the defense I'd be using if it came to that. I'd say I had a hi-fi and they make noise when you turn them on, just as dogs make noise when you choose to own them. As I said, it worked for my son who was driven mad by two small collared rats (as we call them) which barked all day, or when a leaf moved. They left because Bach was too much for them. Thank you, Johann Sebastian; my son has his sanity back. The authorities would do nothing to help him.
> 
> We do laugh heartily about this, I have to say.


I don't know, in some places they do stuff like this..

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/08/31/oregon-court-couple-must-debark-dogs-cutting-their-vocal-cords-after-neighbors-complain/?utm_term=.0273eddb826e


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## Mal (Jan 1, 2016)

I had hip hop blasting through my walls all day so I turned on Steve Reich's Different Trains at full volume for three hours, while improvising poetry to it at the top of my voice. I also complained to environmental health and they got sent a lettter. It all went quiet after that... They may be illegal immigrants or crooks, so don't want to mess with da law, or were scared by my performance art. So I'm not sure which worked. But firing both barrels felt good


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

CountenanceAnglaise said:


> Complaints about barking dogs get you nowhere here; you need 5 people to sign declarations and since they've all got dogs themselves and are at work we are alone in this. So, it would be discrimination to allow the dogs and attempt to stop my Bach-ing. That's the defense I'd be using if it came to that. I'd say I had a hi-fi and they make noise when you turn them on, just as dogs make noise when you choose to own them. As I said, it worked for my son who was driven mad by two small collared rats (as we call them) which barked all day, or when a leaf moved. They left because Bach was too much for them. Thank you, Johann Sebastian; my son has his sanity back. The authorities would do nothing to help him.
> 
> We do laugh heartily about this, I have to say.


Here it still works, if they keep doing it they ( the noise makers) can be evicted.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

OP: What if instead of driving your neighbors mad, they become classical converts instead and play Liszt, Schubert and Bruckner right back at you?


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Lately when in my music room, I notice there is a gecko on my window, as if he/she is listening with rapt attention to the music. Seems to be partial to Schumann's solo piano music-the Fantasie in C and Kreisleriana. An example of superior breeding? Gecko elite? IQ of 160? Have I converted a gecko to classical music? I feel flattered.


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## EdwardBast (Nov 25, 2013)

Woodduck said:


> Are you thinking of Jay Greenberg?


No, I believe it must have been this (Green Day):


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## Marinera (May 13, 2016)

> OP: What if instead of driving your neighbors mad, they become classical converts instead and play Liszt, Schubert and Bruckner right back at you?


Stranger things happened... Or they can play something they like, more likely pop or rock


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Marinera said:


> Stranger things happened... Or they can play something they like, more likely pop or rock/QUOTE]
> 
> Or Renée Fleming's greatest hits, in which case I would have two choices:
> 
> ...


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## Marinera (May 13, 2016)

hpowders said:


> Marinera said:
> 
> 
> > Stranger things happened... Or they can play something they like, more likely pop or rock/QUOTE]
> ...


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Marinera said:


> hpowders said:
> 
> 
> > Or beware - they would convert you to Liszt, Schubert, Bruckner and Renee Fleming. This can happen before you know it. Insane neighbourhoods have this effect on people.
> ...


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## Marinera (May 13, 2016)

hpowders said:


> Marinera said:
> 
> 
> > They would never convert me. Torture me, yes. Convert me, no.
> ...


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Marinera said:


> hpowders said:
> 
> 
> > Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Me impersonating Yoda
> ...


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## Tallisman (May 7, 2017)

I wouldn't have thought Bach to be the most potent solution... Schoenberg CDs could be banned soon as a new form of warfare. They're proven to be able to clear an area for miles. Only a matter of time until the North Koreans start experimenting with it.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Marinera said:


> hpowders said:
> 
> 
> > Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Me impersonating Yoda
> ...


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## Nereffid (Feb 6, 2013)

Tallisman said:


> I wouldn't have thought Bach to be the most potent solution... Schoenberg CDs could be banned soon as a new form of warfare. They're proven to be able to clear an area for miles. Only a matter of time until the North Koreans start experimenting with it.


I was thinking, if the OP's anecdote were told word-for-word but with "Bach" replaced by some boogeyman composer like Schoenberg, there'd be a flood of posts about how this proves how awful Schoenberg is.


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## silentio (Nov 10, 2014)

I am living in a dorm mixed between serious professional graduate students and noisy, obnoxious, frat-like undergraduates.

I have to confess I do use Schoenberg, Bartok, and Messiaen to shoo them away from my room anytime the frat dudes annoy me with their loud parties.

A few days ago they were blasting some _"Yeah, I ***** u b*tch"_ rapping when I was writing a report. I just paid them back with Bartok's _Music for Strings, Percussion and Celesta_ and Schoenberg's _Moses und Aron_ (two works I do enjoy a great deal) at full volume. The dudes did lower their noises a little bit.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

silentio said:


> I am living in a dorm mixed between serious professional graduate students and noisy, obnoxious, frat-like undergraduates.
> 
> I have to confess I do use Schoenberg, Bartok, and Messiaen to shoo them away from my room anytime the frat dudes annoy me with their loud parties.
> 
> A few days ago they were blasting some _"Yeah, I ***** u b*tch"_ rapping when I was writing a report. I just paid them back with Bartok's _Music for Strings, Percussion and Celesta_ and Schoenberg's _Moses und Aron_ (two works I do enjoy a great deal) at full volume. The dudes did lower their noises a little bit.


You go on that way and eventually someone will have to write a threnody for the victims of Penderecki...


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Just a nice talk with the neighbours seems the best solution.


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## Andolink (Oct 29, 2012)

My bugaboo is neighbors with wind chimes. Some people really go overboard with these. But even one loud one can really drive me crazy.


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## Nereffid (Feb 6, 2013)

Andolink said:


> My bugaboo is neighbors with wind chimes. Some people really go overboard with these. But even one loud one can really drive me crazy.


My neighbours have a good one. Occasionally I feel like I'm living next door to John Luther Adams.


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## Tallisman (May 7, 2017)

Andolink said:


> My bugaboo is neighbors with wind chimes. Some people really go overboard with these. But even one loud one can really drive me crazy.


Chill, man. They're like _suuuper_ mellow, dude. Helps the kids relax after their meal of kale and organic cashews. Just let mother nature spread her ethereal angel music into your ear, bro. Peace.


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