# Asa (Hope)



## ronaldhutasuhut (Jun 23, 2011)

Hi! This is the first time I share my music in this forum. The piece called "Asa" (eng. Hope) and it has lyrics. It's an Operatic Pop song. Please let me know what you think.


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https://soundcloud.com/ronaldhutasuhut%2Fasa-hope

Info:
- The sound generated with Sibelius 7.1.3. Vocal line represented by flute.
- There are some modulation with changed mode. Here is the sequence: Started with D Ionian (0.00), F# Aeolian (3.23), B Ionian (4.03), A Dorian (4.35) and back to D Ionian (6.07).


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## E Cristobal Poveda (Jul 12, 2017)

It's pleasant, but kind of boring. I personally couldn't maintain interest after about a minute, but don't take it personal, since I have a shorter attention span. Have you considered adding in Electric Guitar?


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## ronaldhutasuhut (Jun 23, 2011)

Thank you, Cristobal! 

Not sure for electric guitar. Although I'm using a drum but I didn't use electric bass guitar either, It's difficult to mix it with pizzicato doublebass and violas.


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

Try varying the rhythms some more and less obviously related chords


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## ronaldhutasuhut (Jun 23, 2011)

Phil loves classical said:


> Try varying the rhythms some more and less obviously related chords


I'll try something with the rhythm.

I don't know what you mean with 'less obviously related chords'. As mentioned above, the modes changing within modulation so the melody itself is a bit challenging for the soprano. I don't think more complex progression is a good idea for this as it can confuse the singer.

Maybe if this sung by a real singer that would be more make sense.


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

ronaldhutasuhut said:


> I'll try something with the rhythm.
> 
> I don't know what you mean with 'less obviously related chords'. As mentioned above, the modes changing within modulation so the melody itself is a bit challenging for the soprano. I don't think more complex progression is a good idea for this as it can confuse the singer.
> 
> Maybe if this sung by a real singer that would be more make sense.


Don't worry about the singer, they can even sing atonal, without any tone reference, with practice. More interesting chord development would help the music itself, is my suggestion


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## ronaldhutasuhut (Jun 23, 2011)

Phil loves classical said:


> Don't worry about the singer, they can even sing atonal, without any tone reference, with practice. More interesting chord development would help the music itself, is my suggestion


Thanks for the suggestion, Phil!


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## nikola (Sep 7, 2012)

Phil loves classical said:


> Don't worry about the singer, they can even sing atonal, without any tone reference, with practice. More interesting chord development would help the music itself, is my suggestion


I can sing atonal every pop song without any training. I'm sure that you have that talent too :lol:


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## ronaldhutasuhut (Jun 23, 2011)

nikola said:


> I can sing atonal every pop song without any training. I'm sure that you have that talent too :lol:


Not me for sure


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## Sekhar (May 30, 2016)

I actually liked the polyphony in this and feel it has the potential to sound much better if performed by an orchestra. If you develop this piece further, please post new versions.

The biggest problem I have is with the voice that starts the piece off (not sure what the instrument is). It sounds rather strident to me and doesn't seem to jibe with the melody or the "hope" intent of the piece much. To make things worse, it is way too loud and plays non-stop.


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## ronaldhutasuhut (Jun 23, 2011)

Sekhar said:


> I actually liked the polyphony in this and feel it has the potential to sound much better if performed by an orchestra. If you develop this piece further, please post new versions.
> 
> The biggest problem I have is with the voice that starts the piece off (not sure what the instrument is). It sounds rather strident to me and doesn't seem to jibe with the melody or the "hope" intent of the piece much. To make things worse, it is way too loud and plays non-stop.


Hi! Thanks for listening. It starts with string orchestra, piano and guitar only on the intro. Flute for the vocal. Which one should be fixed?


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## Sekhar (May 30, 2016)

ronaldhutasuhut said:


> Hi! Thanks for listening. It starts with string orchestra, piano and guitar only on the intro. Flute for the vocal. Which one should be fixed?


The very first instrument that opens the music at 0:03, which looks like your string orchestra from what you wrote. I believe your piano joins only at 0:11.


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