# The nature of conversation



## juliante (Jun 7, 2013)

A common theme I have noted is that a thread will remain on topic for 1 or 2 pages then gradually diverge and by page 5 or 6 can be anywhere. Not uncommonly it is at about this point that differing opinions move towards acrimony. 

This is the nature of conversation I guess, exaggerated as it often is on the web. So I should not be surprised or disappointed. But I often am. 

I guess i should man up.


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## Strange Magic (Sep 14, 2015)

Often someone begins to grind a religious axe to a very fine edge........ Or a political axe. This is why we have the Political and Religion Groups downstairs. But some cannot help themselves--there are people needing to be lifted out of darkness in the upstairs Forums, and pernicious ideas to be refuted, and so what I call fishing in troubled waters begins to overwhelm the thread.


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## Guest (Aug 1, 2020)

Strange Magic said:


> Often someone begins to grind a *religious *axe to a very fine edge........ Or a *political *axe. This is why we have the Political and Religion Groups downstairs. But some cannot help themselves--there are people needing to be lifted out of darkness in the upstairs Forums, and pernicious ideas to be refuted, and so what I call fishing in troubled waters begins to overwhelm the thread.


Yes, sometimes. I'd say, more broadly, that the axes being ground are often just long-cherished personal views that come in for some criticism that the axe-grinder cannot accept.

What I find odd is how often it's a comment by-the-by that sets off the acrimony, not a comment on the thread's substantive matter. For example, I was tempted to post in a thread about Brahms, a response to a by-the-by comment about Beethoven's 6th Symphony. Knowing that it would set off an irrelevant debate about the Beethoven, I decided not to. I can't always resist though.


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## flamencosketches (Jan 4, 2019)

MacLeod said:


> Yes, sometimes. I'd say, more broadly, that the axes being ground are often just long-cherished personal views that come in for some criticism that the axe-grinder cannot accept.
> 
> What I find odd is how often it's a comment by-the-by that sets off the acrimony, not a comment on the thread's substantive matter. For example, I was tempted to post in a thread about Brahms, a response to a by-the-by comment about Beethoven's 6th Symphony. Knowing that it would set off an irrelevant debate about the Beethoven, I decided not to. I can't always resist though.


I'm bad at that. It's always in cases where it's totally irrelevant to the thread subject that I'm tempted to reply to a random comment here or there. :lol:


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## juliante (Jun 7, 2013)

flamencosketches said:


> I'm bad at that. It's always in cases where it's totally irrelevant to the thread subject that I'm tempted to reply to a random comment here or there. :lol:


Which is like real conversation to be fair and quite legitimate


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## Jacck (Dec 24, 2017)

how many posts do you need to make your point about a certain topic? I can explain my views in several posts, and I can understand the POV of another poster after a couple of his posts. After that, the topic is really exhausted and the arguments start to repeat. There is not much else to be said on the topic itself, so a drift occurs.


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## BrahmsWasAGreatMelodist (Jan 13, 2019)

I don't mind these "drifts" so much. I often find myself wishing the mods would let the conversation go where it may.


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

A bit of drift is fine, but when the original thread is hijacked and a completely different subject becomes the main discussion point, I think it would be better to split that off into a new thread. A lot of people may very well be interested in the new topic, but never see the thread in which it is discussed because the title of that thread refers to a totally different subject.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

How about those Cubs, huh?


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## philoctetes (Jun 15, 2017)

Sticking to the topic is important for resolving conflict. I think this is why it's a big deal to some who want to follow through until there is a winner and a loser. Others are willing to move on, maybe cause there is nothing at all important about disagreements in this forum and no need to resolve them.


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## Guest (Aug 3, 2020)

Sticking to the topic might also be important for a thorough discussion of a subject rather than a meandering and superficial skate over the surface.


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## flamencosketches (Jan 4, 2019)

BrahmsWasAGreatMelodist said:


> I don't mind these "drifts" so much. I often find myself wishing the mods would let the conversation go where it may.


Love the new avatar...


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## philoctetes (Jun 15, 2017)

There is also the fact that those who don't stick to arguments are often those who don't read or respond to the relevance of what's been replied to them, or they just dismiss it with no conscience or credence.

Some of the people complaining here are the most guilty of going off-board with hyperbole, exaggeration, or distortion over another person's point... that's just another way of "drifting" or going off-point, attempting to avoid "losing" or to save face.

This stuff is easy to figure out, if you think about the things you do and not what others do... think about what you can control, not what you cannot control. This is not about politicians or policies so stop blaming others for the interpersonal things you complain about year after year. Make it change by doing something different.


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

It would also be good if people remembered the good old DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.


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## philoctetes (Jun 15, 2017)

And don't take yourselves so seriously... good grief.

"the other person isn't saying what I want them too... that person bad cause I'm always right... what can we do as a forum to improve this?"

hahahahahahah


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## Merl (Jul 28, 2016)

.............


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## Flamme (Dec 30, 2012)

I've noticed that almost all the topics become predictably political after 3 or 4 pages...It wasn't like that when I signed up here


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