# Coughing at concerts



## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Have you ever, at the quietest and most intense part of the adagio of Mahler's Ninth, suffered a sudden coughing fit -- a fit so severe that you also passed gas with such volume and eloquence that the trombonists on stage looked about in wild surmise to see who had played at the wrong time?

If so, have no fear! Professor Andreas Wagner supports you: "...all the existing research did indicate a strange increase in coughing among classical concert audiences. He said the finding held true even when the demographic make-up of the average classical concert audience was accounted for. 'They might be older (but) there still remains a substantial amount of excess coughing that has to be explained somehow,' he said."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/...ng-in-classical-concerts-twice-as-likely.html


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## PlaySalieri (Jun 3, 2012)

I was at covent garden once - had the kind of tickly throat that made tears come out of my eyes to stifle the much needed cough.
Had to abandon the opera.


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## Kieran (Aug 24, 2010)

I think it's like, when somebody says 'be quiet,' you suddenly need to speak. I was at an opera once and before the concert I blew my nose, farted, gargled, rinsed my ears, cracked my knees and scratched my head. I wanted to get it all done before the start.

When the lights went down, a treacherous tickle irresistibly welled up in my throat and I had to open up a noisy pack of mint sweets to combat it...


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## Head_case (Feb 5, 2010)

KenOC said:


> Have you ever, at the quietest and most intense part of the adagio of Mahler's Ninth, suffered a sudden coughing fit -- a fit so severe that you also passed gas with such volume and eloquence that the trombonists on stage looked about in wild surmise to see who had played at the wrong time?


Can't say I have. I just hope that the person who was sitting in the seat before me at least had the courtesy to wear pampers or a diaper before the seat became mine.

What the professor doesn't factor in, is that there is an old-fashioned contingent of concert goers, who irritatingly spray themselves with Lily of the Valley Glade Airfreshener or Chanel No.5 (which is just as bad) and intoxicate their fellow audience members.

I experienced this at a Wihan Quartet concert, and I didn't have a cough before the concert, but proceeded to explode in a Russian whooping cough pandemic fit for an audience of 500 during the quasi presto sforzando movement.

I looked up during my coughing bout and realised that the air ventilation system was churning the offending woman's perfume from beside me, all over me, all under me, right in me and intoxicating me.

I held my breath for the rest of the movement.

When I regained consciousness, they were playing Mozart. By then, it was time to leave.


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## Kieran (Aug 24, 2010)

It's the half-cough that's difficult to manage, that muffled, smokeless bomb you detonate in your throat politely so you don't disturb others, while also letting them know you're in trouble.

The funny thing is, when I hear about ten in a row of these shamed, unsuccessful attempts to circumvent a fit of coughs, I want to shout over to the victim, 'get it out, mate! And hurry up, you're ruining the fricking show! One big one and we can all relax...'


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## Stargazer (Nov 9, 2011)

I was watching one performance on youtube recently, and the audience was coughing incessantly throughout the whole thing. The comments below the video cracked me up, my favorite one was "It's probably a public health hazard to have that many tuberculosis patients in one room". I personally feel that if you have to cough, then you have to cough...it's just one of our normal bodily functions. But I think that plenty of people who cough at performances aren't entirely doing it involuntarily.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

I'm pretty sure the coughing in this performance was intentional:


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## Novelette (Dec 12, 2012)

Head_case said:


> Can't say I have. I just hope that the person who was sitting in the seat before me at least had the courtesy to wear pampers or a diaper before the seat became mine.
> 
> What the professor doesn't factor in, is that there is an old-fashioned contingent of concert goers, who irritatingly spray themselves with Lily of the Valley Glade Airfreshener or Chanel No.5 (which is just as bad) and intoxicate their fellow audience members.


Isn't that the truth? I swear, these people marinate in their perfume before going to concerts.

I'm generally good at suppressing coughs, but, just like head_case said, there's an uncanny tendency among classical concertgoers to wreck my pulmonary system with all manner of caustic compounds.

One spritz of perfume is more than enough, more than one can be nothing but an attempt to be altogether repellent. =\


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## Andolink (Oct 29, 2012)

A vacation trip to Europe about 20 years ago which was planned around classical concerts at various venues across southern Europe just happened to coincide with the first bout of bronchitis in my life. Needless to say each and every concert I attended on that trip was a struggle between cough suppression and enjoyment of the amazing perfomances. The highlight was a performance of Schoenberg's Moses and Aaron at the Salzburg Music Festival.


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## knarf (Jan 20, 2013)

Head_case said:


> What the professor doesn't factor in, is that there is an old-fashioned contingent of concert goers, who irritatingly spray themselves with Lily of the Valley Glade Airfreshener or Chanel No.5 (which is just as bad) and intoxicate their fellow audience members.


^^^^
Yes, This.


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## mensch (Mar 5, 2012)

For some reason people don't cough during louder sections of most pieces. Or it's just that you can't hear them, of course. I always find the coughing salvos between movements quite hilarious.

I always wondered why (solo-)musicians never have to sneeze or cough during performances. Charles Rosen mentions in his book "Piano Notes" that this is likely due to the amount of adrenaline generated by the tension of performing. Not sure if it's true, but I have yet to see a pianist sneeze all over the keyboard of his piano.


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## GGluek (Dec 11, 2011)

I think Sir Thomas Beecham suggested that the best remedy for people who cough during concerts is to take them out and gently apply a warm steam roller to their throats.


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## Chi_townPhilly (Apr 21, 2007)

Two words.
Cough
Drops

I never attend a live Classical performance without 'em. 
[I've written before that back-in-the-day, the Chicago Symphony Orchestra used to offer them on a complimentary basis (courtesy of Warner-Lambert, iirc), so that leaves a lot of people without excuse.]
Of course, I unwrap 'em before the performance starts. If I don't need 'em, cool. If I do need 'em, maybe I save my neighbors' listening experience.


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## Arsakes (Feb 20, 2012)

You Coughers are the true villains of Orchestras! :lol:


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## Cavaradossi (Aug 2, 2012)

Chi_townPhilly said:


> Two words.
> Cough
> Drops
> 
> ...


I second those two words! The CSO still offers them for free in the lobby, these days courtesy of Walgreens.

In one of his books, Daniel Barenboim states his belief that cough control is just a matter of concentration. I agree. If you are fully engaged, the body will take care of itself and the mere act of sitting in a silent room will not induce a coughing fit. That's probably why you never hear performers coughing. In addition, they are professionals and arrive on stage ready to maintain 45+ minutes of vocal silence, whatever it takes. Similarly, there's no reason an audience member can't similarly arm themselves with a pocketful of cough drops or take other precautions.

I sometimes wonder, given the timing and utter lack of restraint of some coughers if there isn't some passive-aggressive intent involved. The statement: "It is the more modern pieces of 20th century classical music, it is the more quiet and slow movements that are interrupted by coughs" comes as no suprise to me.


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## Turangalîla (Jan 29, 2012)

Hah, just read a poem by the great Alfred Brendel on this subject, entitled _Cologne_:

_The Coughers of Cologne
have joined forces with the Cologne Clappers
and established the Cough and Clap Society
a non-profit-making organization
whose aim it is
to guarantee each concert-goer's right
to cough and applaud
Attempts by unfeeling artists or impresarios
to question such privileges
have led to a Coughers and Clappers initiative
Members are required to applaud
immediately after sublime codas
and cough distinctly
during expressive silences
Distinct coughing is of paramount importance
to stifle or muffle it
forbidden on pain of expulsion
Coughs of outstanding tenacity
are awarded the Coughing Rhinemaiden
a handsome if slightly baroque appendage
to be worn dangling from the neck
The C&C's recent merger
with the New York Sneezers
and the London Whistlers
raises high hopes
for Cologne's musical future_

The reference to the Rhinemaiden absolutely cracked me up :lol:


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## Andolink (Oct 29, 2012)

oops, wrong thread, disregard


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## Ravndal (Jun 8, 2012)

Sat at a horrible piano recital 2 weeks ago with the flu. Felt like i was in hell.


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## obwan (Oct 24, 2011)

I was at a performance once where coughing became like yawning, once somebody near you coughed, you had to cough as well, the conductor or somebody had come out during an intermission (or was it like in between movements) and tell the audience not to cough.


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## BeverlyAnne (Feb 2, 2013)

I never go to any movie, concert or live theatre production without my trusty little bottle of water along with mints and cough drops. That way I can spend the intermission stretching my legs and mingling instead of waiting in the bar & washroom lineups.


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## deggial (Jan 20, 2013)

Andolink said:


> oops, wrong thread, disregard


and here I thought they all featured healthy dozes of audience coughing


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## Head_case (Feb 5, 2010)

BeverlyAnne said:


> I never go to any movie, concert or live theatre production without my trusty little bottle of water along with mints and cough drops. That way I can spend the intermission stretching my legs and mingling instead of waiting in the bar & washroom lineups.


With nice crispy wrappers


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## Guest (Feb 3, 2013)

BeverlyAnne said:


> I never go to any movie, concert or live theatre production without my trusty little bottle of water along with mints and cough drops. That way I can spend the intermission stretching my legs and mingling instead of waiting in the bar & washroom lineups.


Poor old me! .. I have to make do with a couple of glasses of Red in the interval


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