# What Would You Like Me To Review?



## SergeOfArniVillage

I'm looking through the forum, and it's just so massive that I'm completely lost.

So, let me do this, for now. If someone has written something that they would like thoughts or feedback on, I'd be happy to give you my opinion. For instruments, I only know the piano, but I can give thoughts as to what anything _sounds_ like, so it doesn't have to only be the piano. I'll do my best to give you a worthwhile response. Just direct me to whatever thread you want, or post something here on this thread, it doesn't matter.


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## Captainnumber36




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## SergeOfArniVillage

I think the way you use that homey, warm sounding major v7th chord around the :10 mark, then follow it up with that sort of augmented chord (?) around :15, it’s a really gripping progression, and it carries a lot of pathos. I think you do a good job developing the piece, too. I will say that around 1:08, you play a certain chord, and then right after, at 1:10 play either the same chord or an extremely similar chord, and this second time you play the chord, it somehow sounds “dead on arrival.” When repeating chords, it can be like walking a tightrope. Repeat too little, and your piece could sound unfocused and directionless. Repeat too much, and it might sound stale. 

I think this is a lovely piece, and as you continue to write, you’ll more than likely continue to develop an ear for what works and what doesn’t, as long as you’re honest with yourself. On a side note, it may benefit you to purposefully shove yourself out of your comfort zone, and attempt to write something in a style you could never imagine yourself writing. I did that long ago, and I’m really happy I forced myself out of my comfort zone. Just something to think about.

Thanks for sharing!


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## Captainnumber36

SergeOfArniVillage said:


> I think the way you use that homey, warm sounding major v7th chord around the :10 mark, then follow it up with that sort of augmented chord (?) around :15, it's a really gripping progression, and it carries a lot of pathos. I think you do a good job developing the piece, too. I will say that around 1:08, you play a certain chord, and then right after, at 1:10 play either the same chord or an extremely similar chord, and this second time you play the chord, it somehow sounds "dead on arrival." When repeating chords, it can be like walking a tightrope. Repeat too little, and your piece could sound unfocused and directionless. Repeat too much, and it might sound stale.
> 
> I think this is a lovely piece, and as you continue to write, you'll more than likely continue to develop an ear for what works and what doesn't, as long as you're honest with yourself. On a side note, it may benefit you to purposefully shove yourself out of your comfort zone, and attempt to write something in a style you could never imagine yourself writing. I did that long ago, and I'm really happy I forced myself out of my comfort zone. Just something to think about.
> 
> Thanks for sharing!


Good idea to force myself out of my comfort zone!


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## mediumaevum

Thank you for this thread 

I'd really like someone to review these two compositions (they are both orchestral):


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## SergeOfArniVillage

Jutland Hymn: Wow, I have to say, the instrument samples and DAW effort you put into this really shows - the production value here is exceptional. If you showed this to a random person, I think they'd believe they're listening to a real orchestra. It's really frustrating when you have a great idea, but your sound samples just aren't up to expressing what you want.

It's just a really lovely, peaceful "hymn". I don't know anything about orchestration, but it all sounds convincing to me.

Fantasia: I really love writing Fantasia's, because you can really just let your imagination run wild. I was interested to see how you'd develop a "pastoral" fantasia. Well, your writing here is beautiful, as it was in the first video. However, I felt this one was a bit too "safe." I realize it's a _pastoral_ fantasia, but even pastures, animals, and nature have their unpredictable and wild side to them, and a fantasia comes with an expectation of some sort of drama. There were a few moments it threatened to bring the crackle of thunder from a foreboding raincloud, but all that happened was a moderate drizzle.

It sounds beautiful, but I'd encourage you to at least add a "ff" section, even just for a few seconds, for that crackle of thunder, and it could add a whole dimension to the composition.

You've done really beautiful work! Thanks for posting on the thread


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## mediumaevum

SergeOfArniVillage said:


> Jutland Hymn: Wow, I have to say, the instrument samples and DAW effort you put into this really shows - the production value here is exceptional. If you showed this to a random person, I think they'd believe they're listening to a real orchestra. It's really frustrating when you have a great idea, but your sound samples just aren't up to expressing what you want.
> 
> It's just a really lovely, peaceful "hymn". I don't know anything about orchestration, but it all sounds convincing to me.
> 
> Fantasia: I really love writing Fantasia's, because you can really just let your imagination run wild. I was interested to see how you'd develop a "pastoral" fantasia. Well, your writing here is beautiful, as it was in the first video. However, I felt this one was a bit too "safe." I realize it's a _pastoral_ fantasia, but even pastures, animals, and nature have their unpredictable and wild side to them, and a fantasia comes with an expectation of some sort of drama. There were a few moments it threatened to bring the crackle of thunder from a foreboding raincloud, but all that happened was a moderate drizzle.
> 
> It sounds beautiful, but I'd encourage you to at least add a "ff" section, even just for a few seconds, for that crackle of thunder, and it could add a whole dimension to the composition.
> 
> You've done really beautiful work! Thanks for posting on the thread


Thanks a lot for the review and critique!

These ideas you have of more drama will certainly be considered in my future compositions.


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## Captainnumber36

Check out my Waltz in my thread if you want!


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## caters

Here is a link to my Mozart arrangement thread:

https://www.talkclassical.com/63024-finished-arranging-piano-sonata.html#post1697865

Specifically, it is Mozart's Piano Sonata in C minor that I arranged. There is a link in that thread where you can listen to and see my arrangement. How well did I do at arranging it?


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## SergeOfArniVillage

I’m sorry caters, in this case, I can’t give any feedback, because what you’re looking for is beyond my skill set. I don’t know what does or doesn’t work with stringed instruments. And I can’t offer feedback on the piece itself, because it’s an arrangement of Mozart’s work. All I can say is that I think it’s a good idea you’re looking for feedback on instrumentation before you (I assume) work on making your own string ensemble compositions. I actually used to, years ago, fool around with all sorts of multiple instruments on my music software, and came up with fun pieces and ideas. But I decided to drop all of that years ago, because the music software doesn’t accurately portray what a real life ensemble would sound like, and honestly, for me, the piano is what captured my heart and imagination, and everything else is just window dressing :lol: But of course, that’s just me.

Good luck in your pursuits! I’m sure someone here can help you with the instrumentation of your arrangement! :tiphat:


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## MarkMcD

Hi Serge, I don't know if this is your kind of thing, but I would love your opinion on my first piano concerto.

Piano Concerto N0.1 in G minor

I never really consider things absolutely finished and untouchable and I really would like this to be the best it can be, so any thoughts are welcome.

Thanks in advance
Mark


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## Captainnumber36

Please review my "Rasta's Rock" when you get the chance, it's in my thread!


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## adrien

mediumaevum said:


> Thank you for this thread
> 
> I'd really like someone to review these two compositions (they are both orchestral):


Hi

what sample libraries did you use for this? It sounds like Spitfire (characteristic swell about 1/2 beat into each note - drives me crazy, must drive you crazy too).


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## adrien

Hi Serge. Firstly thanks very much for the very kind offer of looking at pieces, it seems like it's often one of the difficult things for composers to get intelligent feedback and criticism on their work which they can use to improve.

If you get a chance I'd love to know what you think of my latest waltz. Thanks again


__
https://soundcloud.com/user-8225834-923636426%2Fwaltz-no-8


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