# Murphy's law at the concert hall



## Granate (Jun 25, 2016)

Hi, my friend and I are attending for the first time a Classical Music concert in a theatre. How should we behave, what could possibly go wrong if we sit on a balcony? Would Daniel Barenboim yell at us for taking pictures at the end? How loud can a mobile phone be if it sounds from the gods? Does it make a difference whether it is the classic Nokia ringtone or Black Beatles in the city?

Post whatever you come up with, absurd or not...


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Granate said:


> Hi, my friend and I are attending for the first time a Classical Music concert in a theatre. How should we behave, what could possibly go wrong if we sit on a balcony? Would Daniel Barenboim yell at us for taking pictures at the end? How loud can a mobile phone be if it sounds from the gods? Does it make a difference whether it is the classic Nokia ringtone or Black Beatles in the city?
> 
> Post whatever you come up with, absurd or not...


Shut your e-devices off before the music begins.


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

Make sure you clap loudly and shout Yae every time you like something, never shout boo it is just not done, but a slow hand clap is OK as long as you stand up. I am sure Danny will not mind your ring tones what ever they are. If you want to smoke make sure you stand up and ask those around you but use a loud voice so that all can hear. Hope you enjoy the concert. :wave:

I was just kidding, so don't clap between movements and take note what the audience does.
in other words be quite and as Vaneyes said leave the phone switched off.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

No bad behaviour will do, no smelly farts and belching.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Play with your I-pad if you get bored, or stand behind the back row of seats with some friends and talk. These have happened at recent concerts I attended.


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## pcnog11 (Nov 14, 2016)

Just respect for others attending the same concert. Classical concerts and rock concerts are 2 very different things. Be aware those surrounding you. They paid their admission as well. 

Once I attended an opera, the couple in front of me exchanged a few quiet whispers - not that uncommon. The guy next to me pushed them and ask them to shut up. I think this is a bit extreme. After the show, the couple reported the case to the local police for the guy touching them as assault. It was quite a scene!


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

Florestan said:


> Play with your I-pad if you get bored, or stand behind the back row of seats with some friends and talk. These have happened at recent concerts I attended.


I hope Granate doesn't get confused between i pad and something else.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Dan Ante said:


> I hope Granate doesn't get confused between i pad and something else.


Oh maybe it is I-pod. I never use one, just have an unsmart phone and a separate music player that is fairly simple.


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## Guest (Jan 22, 2017)

Granate said:


> Hi, my friend and I are attending for the first time a Classical Music concert in a theatre. How should we behave, what could possibly go wrong if we sit on a balcony? Would Daniel Barenboim yell at us for taking pictures at the end? How loud can a mobile phone be if it sounds from the gods? Does it make a difference whether it is the classic Nokia ringtone or Black Beatles in the city?
> 
> Post whatever you come up with, absurd or not...


With those questions in mind, I strongly and seriously suggest that you stay home.


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## Granate (Jun 25, 2016)

Dan Ante said:


> I hope Granate doesn't get confused between i pad and something else.





Florestan said:


> Oh maybe it is I-pod. I never use one, just have an unsmart phone and a separate music player that is fairly simple.


I don't have either, but yes, you two are messing me up. It would be my first time listening to the works of the first program, so I am eager to be surprised. My friend is a fan of 80s music and he chose that first program, but I hope Bruckner doesn't bore him... I am more worried that we sneeze with allergies and spring.

The venue we go for was recently refurbished in the balconies because of the bad conditions of the wood.


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## Granate (Jun 25, 2016)

Dan Ante said:


> I was just kidding, so *don't clap between movements* and take note what the audience does.


I will make sure that never happens. It ruined my experience with Giulini and Callas' _La Traviata_ recording.
Do lots of people contain themselves to cough between movements like I usually hear in live recordings?


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## Kieran (Aug 24, 2010)

Barenboim loves audience participation. He's a traditionalist and as you know, composers wrote loud flourishes into their movements to wake up the dowagers and to give the cheap seats something to sputter their beer at. So feel free to munch crisps and fist pump (if it's a Beethoven programme) and generally clap at the loud bits and hum along in the background to the more melodious offerings...


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## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

Just behave like a true dandy would behave...


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## Judith (Nov 11, 2015)

Just be yourself and be there as you would at any theatre or cinema!!


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

Florestan said:


> Play with your I-pad if you get bored, or stand behind the back row of seats with some friends and talk. These have happened at recent concerts I attended.


This happens at most concerts now, which is why I stay home. I'll never understand why people are allowed to come into the venue with computers? This kind of behavior is for a retarded society. But this is what we've evolved to in the 21st century.


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## Gordontrek (Jun 22, 2012)

The most cultured and well-behaved concertgoers I ever saw were MU-100 music appreciation students. In no group of people have the fundamentals of concertgoing etiquette been so beautifully displayed. 
To follow their shining example I recommend adhering to these guidelines:
1. Leave the hall and come back in at your convenience. The closer to the stage you are, the better! Make sure you at least extend the courtesy of getting up/coming back to your seat between movements if possible. People understand that nature calls!
2. If you are female and carry a purse, there's nothing wrong with looking through your purse for whatever you need, be it a piece of candy underneath everything, supplies for touching up your makeup, or just your glasses. The people around you don't mind the noise, especially if the orchestra is playing modern music. If you are male, be a gentleman and help your purse-carrying female friend find what she's looking for. Even if you have to get up and look around, the other concertgoers will understand. 
3. Open discussion is welcome! Seasoned concertgoers, especially older ones, love to see discussion among intelligent people regarding what is transpiring on stage, or just about life in general. The more people you can get involved in the discussion, the better and more fun. 
4. The person who tells you to turn off your phones is just a grumpy old prude. Feel free to text, take photos and videos, and check sports scores at your leisure. The brighter your screen, the better. It adds to the experience of the other concertgoers to see a nice-looking face lit up in blue light while a mesmerizing piece is being played onstage. Such an ethereal, other-worldly quality to it. 
5. A puff of marijuana during Brahms never hurt anybody. (for this one, you should probably be sitting in the balcony.)
6. Clap anytime you like. The conductor and orchestral musicians love the enthusiasm you show when you clap after every movement of a symphony or concerto or any multi-movement work. A fantastic time to clap is in a fat silence after a tremendous orchestral tutti. Other concertgoers will be touched by your love for the music. 
Enjoy your concert!


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## Marinera (May 13, 2016)

^
Sounds like an adaptation of something what listeners did during Baroque period, plus probably pooping in the corners if they felt like it.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Gordontrek said:


> ...
> 2. If you are female and carry a purse, there's nothing wrong with looking through your purse for whatever you need, be it *a piece of candy* underneath everything, supplies for touching up your makeup, or just your glasses.


Or the guy at a concert I attended who opened his candy very slowly thinking it would be quieter, which just prolonged the crinkling wrapper noise for about a minute. Of course it was during a quiet movement.


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## pcnog11 (Nov 14, 2016)

Wear you headphones and listening to another genres!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Marinera said:


> ^
> Sounds like an adaptation of something what listeners did during Baroque period, plus probably pooping in the corners if they felt like it.


Yes! Historically Informed Listening (HIL). Gotta love it! :lol:


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Granate said:


> Hi, my friend and I are attending for the first time a Classical Music concert in a theatre. How should we behave, what could possibly go wrong if we sit on a balcony? Would Daniel Barenboim yell at us for taking pictures at the end? How loud can a mobile phone be if it sounds from the gods? Does it make a difference whether it is the classic Nokia ringtone or Black Beatles in the city?
> 
> Post whatever you come up with, absurd or not...


Get there early. Keep arms on both armrests, if not on the aisle, and never move your arms. Learn early to be an armrests bully.


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## Gordontrek (Jun 22, 2012)

Florestan said:


> Or the guy at a concert I attended who opened his candy very slowly thinking it would be quieter, which just prolonged the crinkling wrapper noise for about a minute. Of course it was during a quiet movement.


True 'nuff, I should've remembered that one. Mostly it's elderly people who crinkle the wrappers. Younger attendees tend to have fancy plastic cases of gum or whatever that go POP......POP when opened and closed.


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

Granate said:


> Do lots of people contain themselves to cough between movements like I usually hear in live recordings?


Yes that is why I love live recordings you get a little bit of the atmosphere, along with the squeak of a moving chair in a St Qt .


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

Bettina said:


> Yes! Historically Informed Listening (HIL). Gotta love it! :lol:


Yes it is quite hip today


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Judith said:


> Just be yourself and be there as you would at any theatre or cinema!!


Like the old popcorn trick?


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## Haydn man (Jan 25, 2014)

I always find a few well timed shouts of 'Your the man' during any quiet passages seems to be appreciated by the conductor or soloist depending on the situation


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## Triplets (Sep 4, 2014)

Granate, aren't you the poster that has listened to every Bruckner recording around? This can 't be your first Concert


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## Granate (Jun 25, 2016)

Triplets said:


> Granate, aren't you the poster that has listened to every Bruckner recording around? This can 't be your first Concert


It is my first Classical Music concert since Mozart's Requiem when I was 13 years old. So, it's the second in my life.
Triplets, I have been listening to recordings all my life. Classical or not.

And I don't ever want to go to a rock concert since I had to go with my parents to a Joaquín Sabina and Joan Manuel Serrat live concert in Algeciras, with a nice audio but very loud people and then Sabina asks kindly to every adult couple in the audience to have a _quickie_ after the evening. I was 15 and that made my day. 
:guitar:


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## Granate (Jun 25, 2016)

Granate said:


> It is my first Classical Music concert since Mozart's Requiem...


Now that I remember, it was a very strange day. We were going with my high-school music classmates (7th Grade for you Americans) to the local theatre, and we all sat in a row, but two rows above, were my mother and my brother. *I spent two trips going up and down the seats during the performance*.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Granate said:


> It is my first Classical Music concert since Mozart's Requiem when I was 13 years old. So, it's the second in my life.
> Triplets, I have been listening to recordings all my life. Classical or not.
> 
> And I don't ever want to go to a rock concert since I had to go with my parents to a Joaquín Sabina and Joan Manuel Serrat live concert in Algeciras, with a nice audio but very loud people and then Sabina asks kindly to every adult couple in the audience to have a _quickie_ after the evening. I was 15 and that made my day.
> :guitar:


"Quickie" in Spanish.


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## Triplets (Sep 4, 2014)

Vaneyes said:


> "Quickie" in Spanish.


What is that a picture of; Generalisimo Franco at a New Years Eve Party?


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## Triplets (Sep 4, 2014)

Well, Granate, recordings are great, and I own thousands of them. However, nothing can compare with live concert experience. My advice is to make that your New Year plan, to hear as many concerts as you can.


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## Granate (Jun 25, 2016)

Vaneyes said:


> "Quickie" in Spanish.


*Paragraph rewritten to fix up the "q" word:*

And I don't ever want to go to a rock concert since I had to go with my parents to a Joaquín Sabina and Joan Manuel Serrat live concert in Algeciras, with a nice audio but very loud people and then Sabina asks kindly to every adult couple in the audience to have a *screw/shag* later that evening. I was 15 and that made my day.


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## Granate (Jun 25, 2016)

Triplets said:


> What is that a picture of; Generalisimo Franco at a New Years Eve Party?


He is Joaquín Sabina in a photograph portrait. Sabina is an Spanish Bob-Dylan-like and known for his lyrical skills as a songwriter. Many of his songs stay in the minds of an entire generation, including my parents...

But we are in Community Forum, so let's say Franco was posing in a Dalí exhibition shortly after inagurating a new dam in Valladolid.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Judith said:


> Just be yourself and be there as you would at any theatre or cinema!!


You mean text my friends while the music is playing, blinding everybody with the intense light coming from my phone?

Okay. I thought I was supposed to act differently. No problem.


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## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet (Aug 31, 2011)

You should look at your neighbor, raise your eyebrows and give them a nudge whenever you hear a deceptive cadence. That is the unwritten rule every classical music concert goer knows about.


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> You should look at your neighbor, raise your eyebrows and give them a nudge whenever you hear a deceptive cadence. That is the unwritten rule every classical music concert goer knows about.


Yes Yes even a Mannheim rocket


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

I often mutter "if you will!" when I hear an unusual chord progression. :lol:


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## geralmar (Feb 15, 2013)

Some years ago I was listening on the radio to an aria excerpted from a "live" opera performance preserved on LP. A millisecond after the aria ended an obnoxiously loud "Bravo!" was shouted from the audience, shattering the mood. "That was me!" the radio host boasted.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

geralmar said:


> Some years ago I was listening on the radio to an aria excerpted from a "live" opera performance preserved on LP. A millisecond after the aria ended an obnoxiously loud "Bravo!" was shouted from the audience, shattering the mood. "That was me!" the radio host boasted.


Could be true.


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## geralmar (Feb 15, 2013)

Four decades ago I listened on the radio to a Detroit Symphony morning concert for elementary school children bussed in specially for the event. It was during the Dorati era but he wasn't the conductor. The children ignored the orchestra and conductor during his introductory remarks, acting and sounding like they were in the school lunchroom. The conductor asked the children to be quiet and began the performance (first movement, Schubert's ninth symphony). A couple minutes later he stopped conducting, rapped the music stand, and pleaded with the teachers to control their pupils. He resumed the performance. There was no diminution in noise level. He stopped the orchestra and angrily threatened to cancel the concert. I switched off the radio, deciding that Detroit simply wasn't a classical music kind of town.


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