# Casting the TC Movie



## scratchgolf

I did this once on another music forum and it was a lot if fun. This could also lead to numerous ToS violations so please stay within the rules.

I just found out a "major" motion picture company has purchased the rights to Talk Classical and will be making a movie about our members (<---This is a lie). It's up to us to cast the film before Hollywood does it for us. Feel free to cast yourself and others as you see fit, but keep in mind others may take offense to your answers. Let's keep this light and fun. If you think someone may take offense to your reply, it's probably better left unsaid. Here's some basic guidelines.

1. Have fun
2. Use a combination of avatars, personality, and actual pictures (if known) to form your answers. 
3. Be creative
4. Feel free to use actors, musicians, celebrities, or Kardashians, at any age or from any era. Living or not.
5. DO NOT cast Danny Devito as Scratchgolf. I'll sue.
6. In all seriousness, keep it fun and don't turn this into a way to take cheap shots. You can't offend me but others may not feel the same.

I'll get things started with a few.....

*Ingelou*: Nicole Kidman - Seems reasonable and would look nice on the poster.
*Taggart*: John Rhys-Davies - This actually seems like a pretty nice fit.
*Figleaf*: Amy Adams - Try that accent on for size.
*Wood*: This one is tough. 6 months ago I'd have cast Denzel Washington. In light of recent revelations I'm going with Tom Sizemore. We have our tough guy. 
*Malerian*: Umm, if anyone can come up with someone better than a young Gustav Mahler, I'm all ears. 
*Someguy*: I'm seeing Bruce Dern with a beard and an edge. Maybe a saner version of Gary Busey.
*Itullian*: How about Ian Anderson's 3rd cousin Mitch? Dead ringer.
*Albert 7*: Ken Jeong with glasses and a soft spot for Feldman.

Enough for now. I can't currently cast myself but Danny Devito seems about right


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## scratchgolf

Hurry up Figgy. I can hear you typing and I'm starting to feel like a huge loser here.


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## Figleaf

Nicole Kidman versus Amy Adams- it's the battle of the redheads! I think in my twenties I was a bit like the Amy Adams character in _Enchanted_ (minus the ability to hypnotise forest creatures with Broadway style warbling)- not very worldly or streetwise, to say the least.

As usual Scratch is too modest. I can't see Danny DeVito adopting Scratchgolf's fitness régime. Maybe Danny's non-identical 'twin' Arnold Schwarzenegger- but I've already cast him as Siegendes Licht. (No physical resemblance of course, it would just be amusing to hear her no-nonsense posts read in a Terminator voice.)

I see there are lot of Brits in your movie, Scratchgolf. Since Hollywood has determined that we are either bumbling twits or villains (or James Bond!) it would be interesting to know what storyline you have in mind!


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## Dim7

Woodduck as some cool villain who seems to be a good guy at first but is actually evil.


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## Figleaf

scratchgolf said:


> Hurry up Figgy. I can hear you typing and I'm starting to feel like a huge loser here.


Yes, it's one of those posts which ends up being 99% deleted before posting. Libel lawyers make more than enough money as it is.


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## scratchgolf

Figleaf said:


> I see there are lot of Brits in your movie, Scratchgolf. Since Hollywood has determined that we are either bumbling twits or villains (or James Bond!) it would be interesting to know what storyline you have in mind!


I love Brits. They were kind enough to invent a language and keep it around long enough for us colonists to butcher it. As for the movie, the working plot revolves around redheads, Brits, tea, and Mozart. Suggestions are welcomed.


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## Figleaf

Dim7 said:


> Woodduck as some cool villain who seems to be a good guy at first but is actually evil.


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## Dim7

Pink bears are considered cool in Britain?


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## scratchgolf

Dim7 said:


> Pink bears are considered cool in Britain?


1. Yes
2. Who said Woodduck was cool?


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## Kivimees

I will be played by an extra.


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## ptr

I see myself played by Max Schreck even if perhaps it would be a better size similarity if played by Peter Ustinov!

/ptr


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## Dr Johnson

I would like to play myself.

Thank you.


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## Dim7

scratchgolf said:


> 1. Yes
> 2. Who said Woodduck was cool?


I said Woodduck should play as "some _cool_ villain who seems to be a good guy at first but is actually evil. "


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## Figleaf

Dim7 said:


> Pink bears are considered cool in Britain?


Not cool exactly- but your description of a villain who appears to be a good guy at first then turns out to be wicked put me in mind of Toy Story 3's Lotso: an avuncular bear who turns out to be a gangster, with dastardly sidekicks including an evil monkey, a very camp man (Barbie's boyfriend Ken in fact) and a doll called Big Baby. No TC parallels intended!


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## MoonlightSonata

I would like to play myself, but with my face obscured at all times.
It's more fun that way.


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## omega

MoonlightSonata said:


> I would like to play myself, but with my face obscured at all times.
> It's more fun that way.


My hand could be Moonlight Sonata's official stunt double.


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## Balthazar

I would like to be played by James Dean.

But if deceased actors are not allowed, I would like to be played by James Franco playing James Dean playing me.


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## Guest

If pink bears are cool in Britain, I can be played by Kim Kardashian.

Otherwise, my current avatar suggests Monte Woolley or James Robertson Justice. I'd have no objection to either, but Chris Pratt would be funnier.


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## scratchgolf

This topic reminds me of my marriage. There were a few interesting moments, it's about 99% dead, and I was the only one who participated. Cya in the whisky thread.


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## SeptimalTritone

*ARRRGH the joke I wanted to make was basically done by Macleod before me.*


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## Ingélou

Nicole Kidman?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~









Hugely flattered, of course, but I'm old enough to be her Mum. 
I'll settle for Lily Tomlin - she's old enough to be my gymslip Mum, but definitely a third-ager, and I admire her sense of humour.
She often plays the witty sidekick role, and I'd like to be portrayed as that _Rara Avis_, a *British Wisecracker*. For the film she'll be dyeing her hair a tone lighter.


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## Ingélou

Taggart was not amused at being told that John Rhys-Davis was to play him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~










And I wasn't too keen on being married to a hairy dwarf who seems to have a penchant for tufts of gingery hair. I'd be bald in no time.

However, in real life he's a nice-looking enough older man, and six feet one, so as Mark McManus is sadly unavailable, Taggart says he feels resigned.










My spouse says he's not going to co-operate with the movie, however, and will be instructing his lawyers to keep an eagle eye on it!


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## Dr Johnson

I'm wondering whether to ask for a flat fee or a percentage.


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## Ingélou

For Mahlerian, I suggest Keanu Reeves:










He may look nothing like Mahlerian but his personality matches - cool, witty, urbane, quietly knowledgeable.

And besides, I *like* Keanu Reeves!


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## Ingélou

But if Mahlerian doesn't like the idea of Keanu Reeves playing him, how about Keanu Reeves playing *Scratchgolf*?

(Got to get Keanu Reeves in there somehow!)


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## Ingélou

May I suggest the Austrian actor Robert Hoffman to play Krummhorn?
I've been mad about him (Hoffman, not Krummhorn! ) ever since I saw him play the French Robinson Crusoe, when I was in my teens. He has a nice line in self-deprecating irony.

He was gorgeous then:










And he still is!


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## Belowpar

Can I modestly suggest that my part is played by George Clooney.

Without my glasses on, I'd say the resemblance is striking.


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## Ingélou

Now, for a bit of comedy & satire, Ukko & Moody ought to feature in this movie. The obvious person to play both of them is Patrick Stewart - doesn't suffer fools gladly, & can't be beaten for incisiveness, authority, and grumpy put-downs. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~










He'll just have to adapt his accent & shirt style so we can tell them apart.


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## Sloe

I have been told I look like Andreas Wilson.


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## TurnaboutVox

Now _this_ is how I see Krummhorn...


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## scratchgolf

TurnaboutVox said:


> Now _this_ is how I see Krummhorn...


I guess he's never yelled at you. I see him this way.


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## Xaltotun

I have such fond memories of Aramis. He would be played by Alan Cumming - completely zany, but self-conscious.


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## Xaltotun

PetrB - Anthony Hopkins
Woodduck - George Sanders
some guy - Captain Beefheart
albert7 - Jack Black
Ukko - W. C. Fields
regressivetransphobe - Peter Lorre


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## Huilunsoittaja

Me- Mia Wasikowska (with blonde hair from Alice of course)

From the scene were Huilu discovers her radio alarm clock is haunted by her Ghost Lover:


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## Morimur

_Seriously._


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## Belowpar

Morimur said:


> _Seriously._


Excuse me introducing myself but I've been meaning to ask a favour for some time. If by any chance you are now reconciled with Nastassja, would you mind passing on her phone no? I've been wanting to discuss Mozart with her for some time.


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## GreenMamba

I think we need a young Matt Dillon to play Moonlight Sonata.


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## Avey

Huilunsoittaja said:


> Me- Mia Wasikowska (with blonde hair from Alice of course)
> 
> From the scene were Huilu discovers her radio alarm clock is haunted by her Ghost Lover:


Gosh, this is SO ON POINT. Precisely what I envision you as.


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## breakup

I would be played by Jesus, a Sunday school class even said so.


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## Vesteralen

I came across this thread trying to track down an older, alleged confrontation between Figleaf and M Blair over doctorates or something. (Just shows I shouldn't' t get on TC when I have insomnia.)

Anyway, this thread died a little too quickly, didn't it?

Or, maybe not.


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## SarahNorthman

scratchgolf said:


> I did this once on another music forum and it was a lot if fun. This could also lead to numerous ToS violations so please stay within the rules.
> 
> I just found out a "major" motion picture company has purchased the rights to Talk Classical and will be making a movie about our members (<---This is a lie). It's up to us to cast the film before Hollywood does it for us. Feel free to cast yourself and others as you see fit, but keep in mind others may take offense to your answers. Let's keep this light and fun. If you think someone may take offense to your reply, it's probably better left unsaid. Here's some basic guidelines.
> 
> 1. Have fun
> 2. Use a combination of avatars, personality, and actual pictures (if known) to form your answers.
> 3. Be creative
> 4. Feel free to use actors, musicians, celebrities, or Kardashians, at any age or from any era. Living or not.
> 5. DO NOT cast Danny Devito as Scratchgolf. I'll sue.
> 6. In all seriousness, keep it fun and don't turn this into a way to take cheap shots. You can't offend me but others may not feel the same.
> 
> I'll get things started with a few.....
> 
> *Ingelou*: Nicole Kidman - Seems reasonable and would look nice on the poster.
> *Taggart*: John Rhys-Davies - This actually seems like a pretty nice fit.
> *Figleaf*: Amy Adams - Try that accent on for size.
> *Wood*: This one is tough. 6 months ago I'd have cast Denzel Washington. In light of recent revelations I'm going with Tom Sizemore. We have our tough guy.
> *Malerian*: Umm, if anyone can come up with someone better than a young Gustav Mahler, I'm all ears.
> *Someguy*: I'm seeing Bruce Dern with a beard and an edge. Maybe a saner version of Gary Busey.
> *Itullian*: How about Ian Anderson's 3rd cousin Mitch? Dead ringer.
> *Albert 7*: Ken Jeong with glasses and a soft spot for Feldman.
> 
> Enough for now. I can't currently cast myself but Danny Devito seems about right


You had me laughing at Someguy and Albert 7. I suppose I just can't see Ken Jeong playing Albert.


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## Cosmos

There is no actor who I resemble. However, in grade school and high school some kids would call me Ron Weasley because of my red hair [and nothing else, how original]. So I guess I'll pick Rupert Grint


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## SarahNorthman

I feel I am in the same boat as Cosmos, there really is no actor I resemble, so I suppose I will have to play myself.


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## clavichorder

These kinds of threads always remind me how little I actually impact this forum.


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## Sloe

clavichorder said:


> These kinds of threads always remind me how little I actually impact this forum.


Clavichorder - Johnny Depp


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## Dr Johnson

clavichorder said:


> These kinds of threads always remind me how little I actually impact this forum.


Come, Sir! In your dashing hat and fine frilly shirt you look most distinguished. You should play yourself.


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## clavichorder

Sloe said:


> Clavichorder - Johnny Depp


I'd take this Depp:









or maybe this one:


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## TurnaboutVox

Isn't that a scene from Ed Wood's 'Glen or Glenda'? Interesting film-maker, clavichorder.


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## TurnaboutVox

I'd like to be played by Gerard Butler, but it's more likely I'd get...


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## Badinerie

Wayhay! Finn....

I would probebly end up being played by Kevin Spacey Some say I resemble him from certain angles.


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## Richannes Wrahms

I suggest Trazom be portrayed by Helena Bonham Carter.


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## Dim7

How about LotR played by TC members. Like PetrB - Gandalf, Woodduck - Aragorn, Mahlerian - Elrond.... who wants to be Gollum?


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

I keep thinking that John Cleese would portray Dr Johnson very well.


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## science

I used to look almost exactly like Bill Murray, but as I've aged it's gone away. Still, he can play me. 

If not him, then William Levy.


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## SarahNorthman

Dim7 said:


> How about LotR played by TC members. Like PetrB - Gandalf, Woodduck - Aragorn, Mahlerian - Elrond.... who wants to be Gollum?


Aw! Ingelou would be Galadriel I would think.


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## Ukko

Ingélou said:


> Now, for a bit of comedy & satire, Ukko & Moody ought to feature in this movie. The obvious person to play both of them is Patrick Stewart - doesn't suffer fools gladly, & can't be beaten for incisiveness, authority, and grumpy put-downs.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> He'll just have to adapt his accent & shirt style so we can tell them apart.


That guy is too intelligent looking to play me; moody maybe. Although he didn't suffer fools, gladly or otherwise.


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## trazom

Richannes Wrahms said:


> I suggest Trazom be portrayed by Helena Bonham Carter.


I'm pretty flexible, so, I'm okay with this.

I see RichannesWrahms played by--and only by-- a young Anthony Perkins.

clavichorder: Adrien Brody, he knows how to brood.

SeptimalTritone: Woody Allen(from his Manhattan years).

Dim7: Jim Carrey or Matthew Lillard.

Ingelou: Fiona Shaw(from around 1995 "Persuasion")


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## Ukko

Sloe said:


> Clavichorder - Johnny Depp


I'm leaning toward the young Jimmy Stewart for the clavichorder role. high intelligent, medium confused.


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## Sloe

Ukko said:


> I'm leaning toward the young Jimmy Stewart for the clavichorder role. high intelligent, medium confused.


I want an excentric clavichorder.
On the other hand it might be better if Johhny Depp played Dim7 or Albert7.


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## science

I used to look almost exactly like Bill Murray, but as I've aged it's gone away. Still, he can play me. 

If not him, then William Levy.


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## Vesteralen

For my three-second spot, I would like to be played by Peter Davison. The physical resemblance is only superficial, but the personality fit is what I would want.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

With that in mind, it is only logical that I am played by Tom Baker!


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## ptr

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> With that in mind, it is only logical that I am played by Tom Baker!


What, I've always envisioned You being played by the young Greg Pead!










/ptr


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## Dim7

deleted.............


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

ptr said:


> What, I've always envisioned You being played by the young Greg Pead!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> /ptr


Hahahahahaaaaa! This is brilliant! Although his hair will have to be dyed a much darker brown.


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## clara s

me... in my new film

I might put it as an avatar too


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## Don Fatale

clara s said:


> View attachment 76162
> 
> 
> me... in my new film
> 
> I might put it as an avatar too


You should! Who is it? (Assuming it's not really you)


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## Sloe

Don Fatale said:


> You should! Who is it? (Assuming it's not really you)


It is Catherine Zetha Jones.


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## Ingélou

SarahNorthman said:


> Aw! Ingelou would be Galadriel I would think.


Nice of you to say, Sarah, but no - too old, alas, & my hair won't grow as long as it did when I was young.
Figleaf would be better - but then she should be one of the combative ladies, like Arwen or Éowyn

Actually, come to think of it, Siegendeslicht would be perfect for Éowyn.

Then if Figleaf is Arwen, can Wood be Aragorn?


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## SarahNorthman

Ingélou said:


> Nice of you to say, Sarah, but no - too old, alas, & my hair won't grow as long as it did when I was young.
> Figleaf would be better - but then she should be one of the combative ladies, like Arwen or Éowyn
> 
> Actually, come to think of it, Siegendeslicht would be perfect for Éowyn.
> 
> Then if Figleaf is Arwen, can Wood be Aragorn?


I think, in level of intellect and personality you are Galadriel to a Tee. And I am sure you are beautiful enough to be her as well!

As for Figleaf, she is totally Arwen, I agree 100 percent. I am afraid I do not know Siegendeslicht well enough to know if she would be a suitable Eowyn, but I trust your judgement! They are some formidable women for formidable fictional women.


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## Dim7

Ingélou said:


> Nice of you to say, Sarah, but no - too old, alas, & my hair won't grow as long as it did when I was young.


Galadriel being an elf of high social stature, I'm pretty sure you would be too _young_ to be Galadriel.


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## Abraham Lincoln

Daniel Day-Lewis


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## clara s

Don Fatale said:


> You should! Who is it? (Assuming it's not really you)


why you assumed so?


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## Wood

Scratchgolf is Toshiro Mifune










I used to look like Clerk Kent as played by Christopher Reeve:










Ken OC is Mr Pickwick


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## Wood

*Carry On Talk Classical*

Given my current avatar, I should like to direct this film.

I'm surely wrong, but for some reason I think that Woodduck might look like Charles Hawtrey;










Sid James picks himself:










MacLeod might be Terry Scott:










I really don't have the guts to cast Hattie Jaques, Barbara Windsor or Kenneth Williams, so will leave them for another to do.


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## Ingélou

Wood said:


> Given my current avatar, I should like to direct this film.
> ......
> I really don't have the guts to cast Hattie Jaques, Barbara Windsor or Kenneth Williams, so will leave them for another to do.


Gordon Bennet, that sounds scary! 
Can I opt to be played by Joan Sims before someone chooses a less favourable option?


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## Guest

Relived though I am to have a presence here worth casting, Terry Scott is not the Gregory Peck I had in mind!


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## Ingélou

MacLeod said:


> Relived though I am to have a presence here worth casting, Terry Scott is not the Gregory Peck I had in mind!


Terry Scott looks nothing like you (judging by your photos) & has a personality nothing like yours (judging by your posts).
Apart from that, he's perfect. 

As almost all the Carry On actors are now deceased, though, I think we should keep the concept of slapstick and iffy humour, but just play ourselves.

We can do it!


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