# Don't Ask Me Why: Chapter 23



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

One day in early March, Tanya went to look for Alex in the music building, and sure enough he was practicing. She knocked on his door.

"Tanya! How are you, what's up?" he opened the door, still holding his bow in his hand.

"Hey, Alex!" Tanya said brightly, her white teeth glistening. "I just wanted to find you and make a proposition to you, a request, if you will."

"Oh?"

"Yes! In late April I will be conducting my Graduate Thesis Project, and it's for choir and solo cello," she grinned.

"Well that sounds exciting! What is it?"

"Arensky's Three Vocal Quartets, op. 57. I recommend you hear a recording of them, I think they're divine! You wouldn't need to be at our rehearsals until late in the process I think, maybe early April."

"Do you have the music with you now?"

"I do! Right here," she pulled out the score from the book bag at her side. "It's only printed out from IMSLP, and I hope it's readable," she handed it to Alex who looked at it carefully.

"Looks readable enough... very interesting... I would love to do this, thank you for asking me, Tanya."

"Thank _you_ for accepting! I knew I could count on you!" Tanya laughed. "We'll keep in touch about the rehearsals, they're on Tuesday afternoons."

"Sounds good! Seeya!" Alex closed the door. Tanya smiled and walked on her way out of the practice wing. One errand down for the day, many more to go.

Tanya stopped to sit in a lobby, and write down some notes in her planner. She had three classes that day, an eight-page paper due in two days, and a rehearsal to prepare for that afternoon with the chamber singers who were going to sing her Vocal Quartets. It looked daunting on paper, but she needed to keep organized and focused.

"Tanya!"

She looked up to see Ernest walking towards her from down the hall. He was wearing casual clothes, but was as charming as ever. Tanya's heart skipped a beat.

"Ernest! How are you?" she suddenly spouted out.

"I'm good. Hey, I wanted to tell you that Marcus asked me to conduct his composition, the one that you're singing in."

Tanya's eyes went wide. "When was this?"

"He told me yesterday. He said he doesn't really have the skills to conduct, but he will come to the rehearsals to oversee the progress."

"Well, that's great!"

"That's all I had to say, I have to go right now. Bye," he headed down the other hallway and was out of sight.

This news made Tanya's mind go haywire.

"Little does Marcus know! What can this be but... the perfect chance?? In two months, he will be mine alone... and I will taunt Marcus to his face... and it will be perfect..." Tanya stood up immediately and walked out of the lobby.

Marie once again was at Lab Orchestra. She knew the routine well enough, and she breezed through the music without much trouble. She hadn't talked to Alex every time she was there, but neither did Ernest talk to her every time. Nevertheless, she wanted to try again this evening to talk to Alex, and she found her chance when she met up with him as they were leaving the building.

"Did Tanya tell you that I'm performing with her for her Graduate Conducting Project?"

"No she didn't, we haven't been able to catch up in a while."

"Well, I am. It's an interesting piece..." his voice faded away. They had reached the building exit out towards the parking lot.

"I will be glad to hear the performance then," Marie replied gravely.

Alex nodded his head. Marie was glad that she had come to be on very good terms with him, and that he had begun to open up more to him. He was still secretive however, particularly about his personal life, and Marie never found an opportunity to actually ask him the questions she wanted to know about him.

As Marie was pondering these thoughts, she saw Alex suddenly look behind them both.

"I parked on the other side of the building, see you later," he turned off to the left down a pathway.

"Perhaps he forgot himself for a moment..." Marie smiled to herself. This put her in a good mood, so she walked forward until she came to a bench. All around were trees and lawn, the parking lot ahead with street lights. It was a brisk evening, but not too cold, and the quarter moon shone clearly. Spring was coming, and there were buds in the trees. Flowers would soon appear, and it would be the most beautiful time of the year for the music school. It was calm and quiet, so Marie wrapped her red scarf tightly around her neck and breathed in the fresh air, humming softly to herself.

She didn't hear the slow footsteps that came from behind.

"Hey," Marie heard a whisper behind her to her left, and turned her head with a start.

It was Ernest. He was standing alone, in a black coat. He had just come out of the building, its lights silhouetting his figure.

Marie felt herself tense up. She realized that they were all alone.

"Hello," she said softly.

"Enjoying the night?"

"I was..."

Ernest laughed softly, and came close by her left, but didn't sit down. He put his right hand on the shoulder of the bench, and was silent.

Marie slowly looked up into his face. It was barely visible, but she could tell he was smiling softly, and seemed on the verge of speaking.

"Marie..." he frowned, turning his eyes down slightly. "I've... wanted to find a chance to talk to you... I think you may know what I mean to say," he added with a darker edge in his tone.

"I don't think I understand," Marie said evenly, although it wasn't exactly truthful.

Ernest sighed and took a step forward, dropping his hand and bringing it to his forehead.

"I'm... not sure how to say this now that I'm here..." he brought himself to say, laughing nervously.

Marie had no doubts left in her mind now about what he was going to say. Her throat choked up, and she could only continue to stare at him. He started pacing in front of her, looking down at the ground.

"Ever since... I first saw you, I... I couldn't help noticing you... and wanting to make clear to you... agh, what am I saying?" he seemed to disparage himself. He turned on her very quickly, and took a deep breath.

"Marie, I like you... _very_ much," Ernest gritted his teeth after saying this, and looked at his feet again.

Marie reacted in a way she didn't expected.

"Oh god, I knew it..." she whispered, and put her face in her hands.

"Will you... _would_ you... consider me?" he whispered desperately, and started talking quickly. "I know we seem so different, but I don't think our differences will hinder us. I know I'm older, I know that, but I know it won't really be in the way, when in truth we are... so alike..."

He came up next to her, and came on his knees. He wanted to touch her, but Marie immediately pushed him away.

"No, please," Marie whispered, he voice choking. "You're making this too hard for me."

"Then you won't even consider me?" he seemed breathless now.

"I can't, but I must tell you something. It's not because of who you are or anything about you."

"Then what? Please tell me! I'll make it right!"

"I can't!" Marie stood up, but Ernest was right there with her.

"I'm right here, Marie. If you think you're the problem, you're mistaken. I love you for who you are."

"No!" Marie suddenly shouted, and gritted her teeth. "Please stop," she walked briskly away, but Ernest stayed behind her.

"I will wait for you to change," he said sternly.

"Please leave me alone," Marie walked across the street into the parking lot, leaving Ernest at the curb. She was glad that her car was far away, and that she could hide in her car as soon as she got in.

"God, no!" she cried. "Stop doing this to me! Stop! I can't handle this! I don't understand... what's wrong with me?!"

She broke down sobbing.


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