# Opera plots as a limerick



## Johann Sebastian Bach (Dec 18, 2015)

When Don José was lured by Carmen, 
to go smuggling with hunky young men,
he got very jealous,
of Escamillo the zealous
and knifed him to heaven. Amen.


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

A fisherman named Peter Grimes
Is suspected of dastardly crimes
Though cleared, he's in truth 
Soon rapt with a youth -
but disaster - he slips as he climbs


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

Another highly condensed opera synopsis occurs to me:

Fidelio, reduced to a limerick

Leonore's dressed up as a male
To get Florestan out of Don's jail
His murder's averting
Needs cross gendered flirting
Whilst the prisoners chorus and wail


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

Rake's Progress, by Stravinsky:

There once was a man named Rakewell
Who went to London to raise hell
But what do you know
He had the devil in tow
And into the madhouse he fell.


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## GreenMamba (Oct 14, 2012)

A dwarf sees sweet Rheinmaidens three
Who are playing and singing, lovely
When he steals their gold,
What happens? I'm told
Will take 15 more hours to see.


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

GreenMamba said:


> A dwarf sees sweet Rheinmaidens three
> Who are playing and singing, lovely
> When he steals their gold,
> What happens? I'm told
> It will take 15 hours to see.


:lol: Very good!


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## Harold in Columbia (Jan 10, 2016)

There once was a hero named Tristan
Oppressed by the world we exist on.
His freedom he found
When laid in the ground
Result of his getting a trist on.


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

In the bourgeois comedy _Intermezzo_, 
All the characters constantly echo
How great it is that Strauss
Can tolerate his spouse, 
So Hofmannsthal wouldn't write the libretto.


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## Nereffid (Feb 6, 2013)

This fellow Giovanni, a Don,
Spends all his life getting it on.
At the end of the story
The Commendatore
Comes to life, and now Don Juan is gone.


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## Eva Yojimbo (Jan 30, 2016)

Love this thread! 

There once was a lady named Tosca
Who's trapped by a baron named Scarpia
Cavaradossi's her man
And she has a great plan
Give Mario the Best Actor Oscar

There once was a barber named Figaro
Whose master turned into a gigolo 
The Count wants Suzanna
But he meets la comtesse
At night under darkness like indigo

Otello suspects that his wife
Is cheating and must end her life
A lone handkerchief 
Causes his false belief
Thank Iago for causing the strife

Parsifal kills a swan with his power
And not much else happens for hours
What's it all mean?
I think it's quite keen
To blame it on Sir Schopenhauer


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## Nereffid (Feb 6, 2013)

In Britten's _The Turn of the Screw_,
Two ghosts cause a frightful to-do.
Miles and Flora are haunted,
The Governess daunted - 
Her employer just hasn't a clue.


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## Nereffid (Feb 6, 2013)

Opening-night review for Thomas Adès's _Powder Her Face_:

This opera is quite a plum,
It's at least got one bit you can hum.
The plot's hard to follow-
It's too much to swallow.
A success? I'm sure _someone_ will come.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

This is a re-post of one I posted in 2014 on a different limerick thread here. Maybe not quite the whole plot, though a fair representation of the heart of story of Beethoven's Fidelio.

There was a fine lady, Leonora,
Who endured a most terrible hour.
Her courage having arisen,
She went into the prison,
And triumphed over evil's power.


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## Antony (Nov 4, 2013)

Opening Night review of Otello in Montreal

Desdemona, sweet Desdemona!
charming lady to have Ottelo as hubby!
an imbecile brute next to a ..Lily
no wonder why there is bloody tragedy! 

You need someone else to be your maid,
in needy time, she can come to your aid,
Emilia really can't sing any aria
not like Susanna in Mozart's opera


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## GreenMamba (Oct 14, 2012)

Here's something that might make you sick
An opera 'bout old Tricky Dick
His meeting with Mao
Is captured somehow
And the first act flies by real quick


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Blancrocher said:


> In the bourgeois comedy _Intermezzo_,
> All the characters constantly echo
> How great it is that Strauss
> Can tolerate his spouse,
> So Hofmannsthal wouldn't write the libretto.


The best until now, no hard feelings towards the others :tiphat:


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## Nereffid (Feb 6, 2013)

Sieglinde goes weak at the knee
When Siegmund pulls sword out of tree.
The weather's tempestuous,
Their love is incestuous,
And the Valkyries ride in Act Three.


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## Chris (Jun 1, 2010)

This one might not be in the best of taste.

Said Wozzeck, 'It's easy to see
the drum major's slept with Marie.
I'll get me a sharpie
And dispatch the harpie
Then back to the inn for some tea'


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

Berg's "Lulu"


Synopsis: It is late-19th-century Vienna.

The wife of a doctor, called Nell
Descends through the opera to hell
Not content with her spouse
She kills half of the house
Then solicits her murder as well


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## The nose (Jan 14, 2014)

There once was a fellow russian 
Whom in the city was rushing 
Searching his nose
Which was loose
With a background of mighty percussion.



I hope the metric is right ;D


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

My mom took my father from me
and banished my brother with glee
She's losing her mind
my brother I'll find
and we'll bring the old hag to her knees


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## Eva Yojimbo (Jan 30, 2016)

The nose said:


> I hope the metric is right ;D


Almost. You need an extra beat between "fellow Russian" and "Which was loose." An easy fix for the former would be "fellow, a Russian." Latter you might try "Which had become loose." Basic meter for limericks are (using parentheses to represent optional beats):

(--)/--/--/(--)
(--)/--/--/(--)
(--)/--/(--)
(--)/--/(--)
(--)/--/--/(--)

"-" is a weak beat, "/" is a strong beat.

Generally, it's considered best form to use the same opening beats throughout a piece (or at least the same in the paired rhyme sections, ie, 1 for the three As, and 1 for the two Bs), but considering it's light verse, very few people are sticklers.


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## Eva Yojimbo (Jan 30, 2016)

La bohemes live in places quite prickly
And poor Mimi has gotten quite sickly
Joie de vivre in the street
Maybe slightly offbeat
But Puccini composes it slickly


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## Chris (Jun 1, 2010)

Captain Vere knew that Billy was right
To hit Claggart's head in a fight
But an untimely stammer
Put him in the slammer
And cost him his life - is that right?


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

You'd think that the people would laud
A guy with a message from God
But Moses came down
He had a big frown
And said Aron's God was a fraud.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Here is one I wrote for Maria Stuarda:

Mary, the Queen of Scots,
had a kingdom that was not.
She told off her sister,
whose pride did fester,
a beheading is what Mary got!


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## drnlaw (Jan 27, 2016)

GreenMamba said:


> A dwarf sees sweet Rheinmaidens three
> Who are playing and singing, lovely
> When he steals their gold,
> What happens? I'm told
> Will take 15 more hours to see.


My felicitations!

Of course, you're obviously not including intermissions in your total.


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## Mal (Jan 1, 2016)

"La Traviata, fallen woman," I'm told
But that description leaves me cold
She was free with her love
Like the pure turtle dove
Even if her pleasures were sold
-----
The Queen of the Night
Gave me a terrible fright
So I joined the masons
Some very nice persons
Who brought me to the light
---


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

To keep the doors shut he has fought
But Judith's suspicions are hot
Bluebeard tries to dissuade 'er
But she's quite a persuader
And gets what she wants: maybe not!


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## drnlaw (Jan 27, 2016)

TurnaboutVox said:


> To keep the doors shut he has fought
> But Judith's suspicions are hot
> Bluebeard tries to dissuade 'er
> But she's quite a persuader
> And gets what she wants: maybe not!


Hah! One of the few works of Bartok that really moves me.


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

Alternative synopsis:

Said Bluebeard "Don't open those doors"
A suggestion that Judith ignores
"I don't mind the blood
or the rest of this crud
But what's this collection of...er, women?"


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Update revision to my Maria Stuarda limerick:

Mary, who was an exiled Queen
Of her sister had turned quite green
She took Lizzy's beau,
Tried for the kingdom also,
And it cause a most terrible scene.

Now Lizzy, a queen quite gutsy,
Told Mary, you are rather ****sy.
So Mary bitched out Lizzy,
Which put Lizzy in a tizzy,
And a beheading is what Mary got!


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

For anyone who's confused about the limerick rhythm but would like to participate, this is the basic limerick rhythm in music notation:









Ignore the attachment at the bottom, I don't know how to get rid of that.


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## Badinerie (May 3, 2008)

A rebel who's name was Manrico
Had a top note t'was quite magnifico
But his mother the witch
the incompetant B****
got her poor Filio "al Fornico"


There once was a Queen called Herodias
who's husbands desires were felonious
He lured their daughter to bed
with an old prophets head
unless I am very erroneous.

A young spanish lady called Carmen
found a way to relieve her self-harmen
took a naive young soldier
and turned on the smoulder
till he stuck a knife into her abdomen

A young courtesan named Violetta
refused to rest till she got better
till one day on the stoop 
she coughed up her hoop
and ill tel you that didnt half upset her!


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## MarkW (Feb 16, 2015)

After Marschallin stopped all the the clocks
As a hint, poor Octavian balks
But he found a new trophy
Presenting to Sophie
A rose from that boor, Baron Ochs


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

TurnaboutVox said:


> A fisherman named Peter Grimes
> Is suspected of dastardly crimes
> Though cleared, he's in truth
> Soon rapt with a youth -
> but disaster - he slips as he climbs


On the subject of Benjamin Britten
Far too much has already been written.
The Turn of the Screw
May not do it for you -
Though Peter was obviously smitten.

And with that, as we say in UK cultural circles, I'll fetch me coat...


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

Limerick has been deleted.


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## MarkW (Feb 16, 2015)

By scruples turned hither and yon
The Tsar became sleepless and wan
But beset by plotters
They proved to be rotters
And so the poor serfs soldiered on


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

I wish some opera plots I knew
Then I could join this game too,
But I know not a thing 
'cos I hate it when they sing, 
Thus with sadness I'll bid you all adieu.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I abhor the music of Lulu
Too bad Berg's not around for a redo,
Even worse is the thread
From which I gratefully fled,
Wozzeck was a better Berg breakthrough!


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## MarkW (Feb 16, 2015)

An opera star striking and bold
Comes to town knowing more than she's told
But she helps solve a myst'ry
Thought once lost to hist'ry
Til it's learned she's three centuries old.


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

With opera I haven't a cluer
I'm in much the same pickle as you 'er
I'm in debt, I'm afraid
Wikipedia's aid
Is what I require for a skewer


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

Blancrocher said:


> Limerick has been deleted.
> 
> Last edited by Blancrocher; Today at 16:44. Reason: too risqué


Well that's a pity; I was hoping yours would lend some respectability-by-comparison to my 'Bluebeard' one...


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Peter Grimes was a vehicle for Vickers
He appeared onstage in sea knickers.
The music was haunting
As well as quite daunting.
Vickers avoided all snickers.


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

So the king of Crete promised his son
And it seemed as if Neptune had won
But Idamante he said
Should to Ilia be wed
With Elettra left out of the fun


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## Eva Yojimbo (Jan 30, 2016)

There once was a Tom who's a rake
Bethrothed to a heart that he'll break
After Nick Shadow's game
Makes Tom go insane
But Baba the Turk is awake

Alternate: 

Ann Trulove has very great fears
When Nick Shadow quickly appears
He takes Tom away
And leads him astray
To Baba the Turk and her beard


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

Oh go on then, one more:

Gloriana's about Good Queen Bess,
Whose turbulent life was a mess.
She was famously virgin,
Despite Dudley's urgin',
An English king's heart in a dress.


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

Agememnon, a figure of hate
Is "offed" by his wife and her mate
But Elektra, his daughter
Red-handedly caught her
And a bloodbath ensues, usual fate


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