# Funny story thread



## Op.123 (Mar 25, 2013)

Lets share some really funny stories. They can be true. You can make the up but they must be hilarious.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

THE END.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

When ex-Australian prime-minster John Howard was first elected into office, he called up the Queen of England to announce that since he was running the place, Australia would be known as a principality. The Queen informed Mr Howard that he could not do that, because he was not a Prince. Mr Howard said that he would then change Australia into an Empire, to which the Queen replied that he could not do that either, since he was not an Emperor. Attempting again, Mr Howard declared that Australia should be a Kingdom. Her Majesty pointed out that Mr Howard was not a King either, and helpfully suggested that the best thing to do is to call Australia a country.


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## Kleinzeit (May 15, 2013)

Ivan Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint, the phone rings and he jumps up shouting, ‘Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dog!’


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

If I could remember all the funny incidents that have happened at my school of music. I've told a few of them here. A lot of it is situational humor that you have to be in it and then it's funny. For some of them... what happens in the school of music... stays in the school of music. :tiphat:

I'll tell you one that happened recently in May (and also posted back when it happened)...

I was in a light mood at this extra-curricular thing I was asked to be a part of: a little orchestra for the undergrad conducting class final exams. We did Schubert 8 - I and Ravel's Mother Goose Suite, and for the choral conductors, Handel Messiah excerpt. We repeated the excerpts over and over, there were possibly 20 students taking their final exam. I actually was told I would be paid, but instead got free lunch. Well, besides two graduate conductors who were grading the students, two major directors came to watch the proceedings too, probably to keep track of the grad conductors.  Anyhow, when they moved to doing the Messiah, I was out of a job for about 20 minutes. I watched a few students conduct, when the Symphony Orchestra director nearby me said hey, come do something sight-singing with me, it's fun. This man is the big-shot of the whole school, what an honoring experience! So, I sat sorta next to him, and we sight-sang the 2nd violin part. I gave up immediately on the solfege, it was way too fast to say, but this director could do it all flawlessly. I was _really _impressed. 
Anyhow, this one friend of mine was up for bat, and he told the orchestra, "ok, I just want the ending to sound like 'ta-da' you got that?" Ok, I thought, let me try that. I muttered my idea, and the symphony director gave me a suspicious glance. Anyhow, we went through the whole thing, I was saying "da-da-da-da-da" the whole time to the fast passages because that's a good fast syllable. But when we got the then ending and the last 2 notes, I said out loud "ta-da!" on the right pitches, and this orchestra director gives me the big eyes O_O, sorta implying, "woah, you actually did it!" Just a little bit of mischief, you know?  Another friend was next to me, she saw this and I think she laughed. No one else noticed, just a private joke.


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