# HELP...going to NYC for first time and can't see opera...



## Turangalîla (Jan 29, 2012)

So next Tuesday I am leaving for New York for a piano competition...the competition only lasts for four days, but my mother and I are staying for another three to tour the city. It is the first time in NYC for both of us. My mother wants to go see a couple of Broadway musicals while we are there, which is fine with me, but I have neverbeen to a live opera before as we live in a small town in a remote corner of the earth and there is no live opera anywhere near us (embarrassing, but true). So I simply *must* go hear an opera...the Met just happens to have a performance of Cosi fan tutte on one of the three days we are there. The problem is that my mother won't let me go! We are a rather backwards family: I listen to only classical, and my parents cannot stand it. My mother refuses to sit through the opera because, in her words, it would be "absolute painful torture". At this I told her that no, she does not have to come with me, and that I could buy her a pedicure or massage or something while I am at the opera...as long as *I* get to go. But it won't do-she insists that because we are only in NYC for three days we are to be doing things together at all times. As you can certainly imagine I am rather peeved at this. Would anyone care to console me? Or you could write a persuasive message to her, addressed to _Loreen_...cross your fingers...

Sorrowfully yours, CJP


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## opus55 (Nov 9, 2010)

Maybe fight back by resisting to go see musicals?


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## Turangalîla (Jan 29, 2012)

Fighting back is not an option with my mother... :lol:


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

Sorry to hear of your predicament, CJP! If it's any consolation, I'm sure this won't be your last time to see Cosi fan tutte in NYC, since they put it on all the time. Down the road you may even have the opportunity to see it with someone who isn't dying of boredom right beside you!

There are a few things you might want to mention to your mother, if you can do so without harassing her () For one thing, she may not be aware that there will be English translations of the libretto on the seat in front of you (though perhaps you've told her about this). It's also possible that she's intimidated about the environment; you can assure her that she shouldn't be concerned about dressing up, since many people will be in dressy-casual attire. Finally, you could mention how lovely the building is (with gold leaf on the ceiling!) and the lovely neighborhood and restaurants in the area (at least by comparison with midtown). 

Have a great time in NY regardless! Even if you miss out on the opera, there will be tons to do: be sure to look for events in Central Park in particular. You might want to scan the critics' picks in Time Out New York while you're at it. 

And good luck at the competition!


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## arpeggio (Oct 4, 2012)

*Trouble with Father*

Ditto on the above.

I had similar problems with my father. My mother was the musician.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

Your mum might also be rather intimidated at the thought of going out to a show in the evening by herself in big bad Manhattan.

I suggest you determine what show to her liking she could see that evening, then remind her that attending the opera and hearing Mozart is really a necessary part of your education -- i.e. no kid to mom pleading you want to go, but couched in a way where she senses an adult who just may not yield to another decision.

Offer to escort her to her show, then hie it to the Met, on foot or Taxi (Manhattan is very compact.) also having arranged an after meeting place where she could go, get a bite and or a drink, until you meet her there.

Whether she is intimidated about going out alone, or this is a bit of that phase where you have to gently help mom cut the remainder of some of the invisible umbilical cord, try and act like any other adult man she would be making plans with.

I hope you each get to see / hear the show of your choice that evening.

BTW. going about on your own in that area of Manhattan is probably hugely safer than strolling a tourist area of many another medium sized city.


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## deggial (Jan 20, 2013)

ditch her  Upper Manhattan is the easiest place to navigate. She's an adult, she'll live. She will be the momzilla from hell for the rest of the evening but at least you'll have seen your opera.


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

Loreen, there is more than one way to 'handle' opera, especially when you are watching it live. One tested and proven method is to watch critically, using a well-acted and mounted play as your standard. There's a good chance the challenge to you will not be withstanding the pain, but holding the laughter down enough to avoid embarrassing your son. Bring tissues - holding it down makes my nose run.

Respectfully,
An elderly, dignified Vermonter.


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

You have a problem because although you are seventeen at any moment and could have left home at sixteen ,(presuming the law is the same your end as it is my end ), you are living at home and being maintained by your parents. No doubt your Ma reminds you of that from time to time !
But it is her duty to encourage you and support you ,not to refuse to back your interests or force you to go with her demands.
Once you get to her stage in life you've had your chance to do your thing and once you have children you have to pander to their demands to a large extent. After all you don't need to have kids at all and could have carried on indulging yourself for ever, I know people like that and find them rather unattractive.
I can think of nothing more ghastly than attending musicals but it's all a matter of taste.
Her comments re: opera are faintly ridiculous because "Cosi" is pretty easy-going and also fairly short.
I've had to attend some fairly gruesome events with my kids because they wanted me to or couldn't go without me.
Stand up and say that you are going if you think that the aftermath will not be too bad,but if you think it will be unbearable leave it.
I believe you are off to University quite soon and then you will be able to follow your own star.

As for the competition that will be easy meat for you,but good luck anyway,


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## ptr (Jan 22, 2013)

A short term solution would be to appeal the New York TC membership to put up and baby-sit either You or Your mum! (Or one each for that..  )

You know, one evening apart of three should only strengthen You relationship!

Hey New York TC'ers it is time to step up and grip the bat! (did that come of poorly?) :lol:

/ptr


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## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

ptr said:


> A short term solution would be to appeal the New York TC membership to put up and baby-sit either You or Your mum! (Or one each for that..  )
> 
> You know, one evening apart of three should only strengthen You relationship!
> 
> ...


Hah. One must be cautious with aphorisms - or whatever 'grip the bat' is.


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## ptr (Jan 22, 2013)

Hilltroll72 said:


> Hah. One must be cautious with aphorisms - or whatever 'grip the bat' is.


I should maybe have written; gently coax the choke from CJP's mum's firm grip... 

Come on New Yorkers we need some one to grab the leach so that the youngster gets to see some Opera!

/ptr


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

Another idea: Maybe Mum Johnson is actually not so keen on sitting through a piano competition! (I wouldn't be. If you were my kid, I tend to think we're both better of without the parent in the hall.)

Offer a trade, she doesn't have to sit through the piano competition, instead, could go shopping, to a museum, theater or free-style just "out." 
for...

You, the opera, her, solo to a show

Maybe something like this on posted on a social board?

CALLING ALL SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE _APPEARING_ TC MANHATTANITES:

1.) Seeking a wholly non-salacious escort for young Carter Johnson's mum; duration -- evening performance of musical theater or a play, a few moments or an hour after theater, then to leave her making sure she meets up with "her boy" by the end of the evening.

2.) Seeking party going to Cosi whose companion had to cancel for the evening -- in their place, take a young hard-working aspiring classical musician to the opera with you.

(Well, in an ideal world, anyway


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

He didn't tell us what he was going to do.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

moody said:


> He didn't tell us what he was going to do.


The suspense is unbearable!


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

You can see him on YouTube at various ages,he's darned good.


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## peeyaj (Nov 17, 2010)

I want to go to New York too! People were not nice, they say..


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

peeyaj said:


> I want to go to New York too! People were not nice, they say..


"They" are quite wrong. Any tourist who expects every person on the street and in shops to be their guide or hold their hand is usually not welcome wherever they are a tourist.

I've been to Paris several times. "They" told me Parisians were incredibly rude to tourists, especially Americans. Not once were any of the locals rude to me: conversely, they were all remarkably friendly, and helpful when I would ask questions or for directions. So much for what "They" say.

New Yorkers do "hurry," if you take an amount of time asking a simple question which was a normal event in your home place, they will be "outta there." That may be rude to you or me, but not to them, as in your place some things may not be considered rude where they would be elsewhere. When in Rome....

Many a New Yorker, whether they moved their yesterday or are a born native, actually go out of their way being helpful and almost protective of tourists, so the tourists have a positive experience. The locals do that out of pride of place.

It is crazy, busy, expensive, and pretty fantastic. You might want to try it sometime.


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