# children in concerts



## h1478971 (Dec 6, 2009)

at what age should children be brought to classical concerts? 

What is the appropriate age?


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## regressivetransphobe (May 16, 2011)

none, turn into an adult first

this goes for movie theaters too


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

I don't think there is an actual age. Also, it's more about the parents sometimes as they are the ones who don't have control over their children! I worked in a public theatre for years and had to deal with the screaming child or crying baby and those were good days. 

I would say four is finally an age where your kid knows what is going on and you can actually talk to them and keep them in check. Geez, 'adult first'? Even I wasn't an adult when I first attended concerts and I've never attended a concert with my parents to date; I had to expose myself. My best friend's kids are amazingly well behaved and we go to the movies all the time with them...I am more than certain they'd be fine throughout an entire symphony; even the longest. 

Should an uncontrollable kid attend? No. Those parental types wouldn't even be driven to attend a classical concert anyhow. But should a well behaved kid with intelligent and conscious parents be allowed? Of course. I sure wish I would have fond childhood memories of piano concertos and great symphony orchestras and recitals of all sorts. 

Not to mention, almost all orchestras create special programming 'for children' but I don't feel the good children should have to be left out because of the irresponsibility of a great amount of 'parents' out there.


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

My daughter has been learning Suzuki violin and piano since she was little and has been to many informal concerts at summer camps, where she has been able to learn concert manners in a safe environment.

She's now nine and I took her to see a short opera recently and she behaved impeccably. I made sure that the experience would pleasurable and not too long. 

Actually she behaved better than several adults I have had the misfortune to sit next to - she didn't arrive late, use a beeping electronic device, talk, rustle candy packets, wear distracting headgear, cough uncontrollably, fall asleep and snore, hum, air conduct, spread over her seat onto mine, or smell bad.


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

mamascarlatti said:


> My daughter has been learning Suzuki violin and piano since she was little and has been to many informal concerts at summer camps, where she has been able to learn concert manners in a safe environment.
> 
> She's now nine and I took her to see a short opera recently and she behaved impeccably. I made sure that the experience would pleasurable and not too long.
> 
> Actually she behaved better than several adults I have had the misfortune to sit next to - she didn't arrive late, use a beeping electronic device, talk, rustle candy packets, wear distracting headgear, cough uncontrollably, fall asleep and snore, hum, air conduct, spread over her seat onto mine, or smell bad.


Oh, Mama!...from the Queen of the Night herself! There you have it, folks.


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

From the time my Son was in his mother's womb, he was always exposed me playing classical music, as the wife would sing in choir. When he was born, he had a great appreciation for classical music ... I've known this identical scenario to have happened to other parents, especially those who both play classical instruments. 

All the while when I was in the womb, the same thing happened ... I was born into a classical music family, for which I am greatly thankful.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

As soon as they express interest, and exhibit good behavior in public for extended periods. The two go hand-in-hand, and if the parents have done their "job(s)", it will be sooner rather than later. There is no appropriate age.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

If they didn't have children concerts, I wouldn't have gotten such early and wonderful exposure to classical music.


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## Agatha (Nov 3, 2009)

My friend was not as lucky to be born to a classic music family, but she is into music, especially violin music. She was bringing her daughter to concert since she was about four years old. She would bring paper and pencils and the girl would draw while listening to music. Now the girl is playing violin herself.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Children should not exist.


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Krummhorn said:


> From the time my Son was in his mother's womb, he was always exposed me playing classical music, as the wife would sing in choir. When he was born, he had a great appreciation for classical music ... I've known this identical scenario to have happened to other parents, especially those who both play classical instruments.
> 
> All the while when I was in the womb, the same thing happened ... I was born into a classical music family, for which I am greatly thankful.


What a lovely story KH. I read that when Mrs Keenlyside was pregnant with their first child, she used to go to rehearsals so that Owen could hear his father's voice from the very earliest.

And I have a friend whose first opera experience was La bohème aged about Minus 3 months.


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

Couchie said:


> Children should not exist.


Well that would have been you gone when you were a cute little green monsterette.


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

I think it's what kv466 suggests, it depends on the individual child, their mental maturity, etc., not only their age. I have been to concerts where children behaved very well, others where they were fidgety and annoying. I started going to concerts with my parents at 12, I loved it. I think it's a matter of taking a child who likes it, is receptive to it, not bored by it. In other words, it depends on the individual. & I agree fully with mamascarlatti, there are adults out there who are a pain at concerts, all the things she described and more. Leaving your mobile on, or taking photos during performance with a flash are cardinal sins. But I have the highest level of contempt, as high as Everest, for those objectionable people who left during a performance here of Mahler's 9th symphony under Maestro Ashkenazy. Now that's much worse, imo, than a child wriggling in their seat for the whole concert. At least the child is not as rude as that to leave during the playing of a masterpiece...


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

mamascarlatti said:


> My daughter has been learning Suzuki violin and piano since she was little and has been to many informal concerts at summer camps, where she has been able to learn concert manners in a safe environment.
> 
> She's now nine and I took her to see a short opera recently and she behaved impeccably. I made sure that the experience would pleasurable and not too long.
> 
> Actually she behaved better than several adults I have had the misfortune to sit next to - she didn't arrive late, use a beeping electronic device, talk, rustle candy packets, wear distracting headgear, cough uncontrollably, fall asleep and snore, hum, *air conduct,* spread over her seat onto mine, or smell bad.


Oh no no no. Air conducting is fine.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Couchie said:


> Children should not exist.


It's a bit hard to grow adults in trees.
Children are a very convenient device to grow adults.
Of course, I'm not sure how it works for the green monster species.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

About out of control children and parenting skills, we do need to acknowledge that some hyperactive kids are like this due to an illness (ADHD), regardless of their parents' skills. But sure, there are many parents out there who can't control otherwise perfectly healthy kids.

I'm for introducing the young to classical music and for teaching them concert etiquette. In the process of learning, some misbehaviors will occur, and adults should have at least some degree of tolerance.

Recently I was at the local opera house and there were three young girls (8-10 range) who were perfectly well behaved, *completely* silent, but had a small sort of LED personal light and they were half of the time looking at the stage and paying attention to the music, half of the time looking at some sort of magazine while using their LED light which wasn't bright or distracting. They weren't even producing noise while flipping pages (they were doing it slowly and carefully), and were huddling together and covering the light with their hands so that they wouldn't disturb others. They would point stuff to each other and nod, but wouldn't utter a word or a whisper. One could tell they were trying to be as discreet as possible.

A gentleman stood up, walked to their row and lowdly complained, and berated the girls' mother. His action was ten times more disruptive than the girls' actions, and one could tell that the girls were kind of frightened with the intensity of the man's protestation. I had the temptation to yell "shut up, grumpy old man, and let the girls be!" The mother confiscated the light and the girls looked unhappy and sulking but continued to be absolutely silent until the end. Most likely they'll keep a bad memory of this experience at the opera.

And then later people complain that opera is dying because, as attendees get old and die out, there is no renovation from young audiences. No wonder.

Was having the LED light there entirely appropriate behavior? Probably not. But in my case I was more pleased with the fact that three young girls were at least trying to attend a long opera and were paying attention at least half of the time, than annoyed by the rare glimpses of the light they were letting out.


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## Polednice (Sep 13, 2009)

It all depends on how many times you smack the child before dragging him into the concert hall.


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## An Die Freude (Apr 23, 2011)

I'm going to my first concert in Novemmber at the age of 12, so as others have said, it depends on the maturity of the child in question.

EDIT: That sounded a little bit smug, didn't it? Sorry! :lol:


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## presto (Jun 17, 2011)

Age isn’t the issue, you could have two kids the same age, one could sit though a concert with total concentration and the other bored out of their head.
It all depends on how receptive the child is.


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

presto said:


> It all depends on how receptive the child is.


And on how wriggly they are. My nine-year-old is VERY wriggly, but she was desperate to be allowed to see this opera, so we had an agreement that she wasn't to wriggle. If I sensed that she was becoming restive I just put my hand on her leg and she stopped, because we'd discussed it first. And I also made sure she sat at the end of the row.


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