# Concert etiquette



## mortimerrush (Oct 11, 2013)

Hello,

I'm a 19 year old university student, I've been taking piano lessons since mid october.
My teacher tells me I should really try going to one of the local concerts, and I admit I always wanted to.
But I am a very self conscious socially anxious person. Afraid of trying out new things fearing doing something wrong and humiliating myself.
Ehem..Wanted to ask about what to do, what not to do, dress code and well...pretty much everything.
Apparently not many my age go, still want to do it thought.


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## MagneticGhost (Apr 7, 2013)

I don't know where you live - so things might be different in your parts. 

My advise would be to find a friend to go with - These things are always more daunting the first time when you go alone.

Some people like to dress up to go out but this is becoming less common - so I wouldn't worry too much about what you are wearing. 
Don't clap until other people have started clapping.

Dress for comfort.
Sit at the back so you can feel you can escape if necessary.
Relax.
Enjoy


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## ahammel (Oct 10, 2012)

I wouldn't worry about it too much. As you say, many your age go.

As for dress code, I imagine that it varies from place to place. Where I am people tend to dress somewhere in the "nice dinner out" bracket, but I've seen everything from 3-piece suits to jeans and a t-shirt. You would have to be dressed very strangely indeed to draw any particular attention.


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## Bas (Jul 24, 2012)

I would definitely not worry too much, and really really would urge you to go. As there are few experiences as special as witnessing live music. Regarding dresscode: I quite frequently visit concerts and see people wearing all sorts of things: suits, jeans, jackets, shirts, dresses, ties, bowties, no ties, hats, sweaters, etc. I would not wear shorts (if you are male), but really it does not matter that much. Wear what you are comfortable in. What not to do? It is generally not appreciated to clap / applaud in between pieces, just at the end. If you don't know when a piece ends, hold your peace until asserted by the crowd that the moment really is right. What to do? Enjoy yourself (and perhaps, if your note-reading ability allows it, bring a score of the piece and read along, it really enhances the experience.)


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## pianississimo (Nov 24, 2014)

I don't understand when people go on about how stiff people are at concerts. There always seems to me to be a vast range. You find there are people dressed up very formal - bow ties and ball gowns etc. Then next to them will be sat someone in bermuda shorts and a tshirt. Nobody seems to care.

I go to concerts all over the place and I'm not aware of any kind of strict etiquette really. Clap at the end - it's easy to find out when that is by listening to the pieces on youtube before you go. and try not to make too much noise. That's it really.

True story...
I was at a concert in London not too long ago. I didn't know until the end but a guy was there who was clearly living on the streets. He had a bunch of carrier bags in a shopping trolley which he parked up in the posh concert hall lobby after the concert so he could queue up to get an autograph from the soloist. (Nikolai Lugansky) 
The staff asked him to move it out of the way of the passing crowds as it was in the way. Other than that, nobody bothered him. I don't think he'd changed his clothes for a while. I was behind him in the queue and the smell was very strong. He got to the front of the queue and had his ticket signed as well as a a piece of paper and a random ledger that he produced out of his trousers. Lugansky, still in his tails, smiled and chatted to him as he did with everyone else.
I wonder how much you'd have to love music if you have so little money and yet you still get a concert ticket?

In short, just go and enjoy the concert. You'll love it!


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## Albert7 (Nov 16, 2014)

When I go the Utah Symphony, I throw on a comfy T-shirt and cargo pants and head to the hall with a clear head after meditation so that I can focus on the music. For me, live performances are integral to the quality of life.


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## pianississimo (Nov 24, 2014)

Also there are a lot of students at concerts in my experience. They get cut price tickets and a lot take advantage of that. I sat next to one recently who was obviously at his first concert. We chatted in the interval and he had really enjoyed the concerto. He asked me about the piece and the composer and the conductor. There's nothing quite like your first concert. I hope you enjoy it!!


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## Fagotterdammerung (Jan 15, 2015)

Now is the time! Enjoy those student prices while you can!

I can't speak of elsewhere, but in North America, it's extremely casual. No-one is looking at you, they're here for the music.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I agree with the "sit in the back" sentiment, preferably on the aisle, so if you are feeling anxious, it's really easy to get up and leave.


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## Dim7 (Apr 24, 2009)

It depends of the place, but where I live wigs are mandatory.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

The first time. Nice. It will be both strange (easily intimidated) and really wonderful. To ease your anticipation of unease, I can tell you the minute you walk in there is a general atmosphere of people somewhat eager and excited to hear what is about to happen, and if not outwardly friendly, you do feel very much 'a part of that group at large.'

I would even advocate _not going with a friend or acquaintance,_ to prove to yourself you can. Often, during the intermission, even if you are shy, it is likely that some one, or someone part of a group might ask you, 'are you enjoying the concert?' I would not hesitate to say it is your first time at a live concert, and let whatever conversation ensues start from there!

The other thing about going by yourself: a companion is always nice. With classical music, and being young, finding someone your own age might be quite a hunt. _If you go alone,_ you will almost certainly meet other people your age who are at the concert for the reason you are, they like / love classical, or piano recitals, etc. You will, I'm certain, if not the first time, soon thereafter at some other concert, meet new people who will become your new acquaintances who are classical music enthusiasts.

Go. Go with yourself (that is not exactly alone, and the best way to think of it) and push through that shyness, and I can virtually guarantee the absolute worst it could be is 'kinda O.K.'

All you should do is 'dress neat,' something slightly more 'dressed up' is nice, and can be fun, and maybe even a bit of help knowing you will not be out of place.

There is only _one_ first time for anything, so the excitement and pleasure I think will get you over any personal worries. You sit down, the lights go down, and the audience pays attention to the player(s) and the music.

Have a great time.


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## GraemeG (Jun 30, 2009)

No-one cares what you wear.
Don't make noise while the players are performing.
Be the last to start clapping.
You'll have a blast.
GG


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## Avey (Mar 5, 2013)

(I respect all the previous opinions. But, obviously, with my saying that, I am about to refute some of them. But, also, I agree with many of the, so I am just rehashing points, but in a more robust and frankly unnecessary many. Many grievances below.)

Foremost, *just go*. I don't think it involves much further thought than that. Put on pants, put on a shirt (long-sleeve if you are in the Northern hemisphere), put on shoes, and show up the concert. Being in law school, I can still reap the benefits of student prices. Amazing stuff. I plan to abuse my student ID for ten more years, until my face grows wrinkles and sheds youth.

Now, given that, I should at least comment on a few personal grievances re classical concerts and what not:

1. Classical music is not a young person's affair. That is just the reality. I am only 24, so I am of your generation. I have written previously on this forum that, _sans_ a university, music school graduate outing, you are _*not*_ going to be attending classical music concerts with people of your generation. It just isn't going to happen. Maybe you'll see people your age. But, like, what? 10 percent? 15 percent of the concert hall?

2. So, why does #1 matter? Well, given that reality, classical concerts are -- recall, *my own grievance here* -- overwhelmingly haughty, uptight, strict, and rather absurd events. People dress up. People smell of products and fragrance. People drink wine and other fancy cocktails. People _expect_ others to do the same.

The whole _act_ of attending the classical concert -- opera, symphony, chamber, whatever -- is an outdated and frankly snobby affair. It is an antiquated culture. Truly, I am disappointed every time I venture out to the concert hall, because things still have not changed.

Anyways, what does this have to do with *music*? *Nothing! Nothing!*

And nothing comes from nothing! Show up with your own wear, your own attitude, your own expectations, and your own gestalt. As much as I look forward to every concert I attend, I grow more and more repulsed with this cultural ambiance.

Granted, where I live, showing up in with a bike helmet, jeans, baseball-tee, maybe a bandana -- no one really frowns on you. For this, I am grateful, and I acknowledge it. But I could not imagine doing this in Texas (sorry...) or some renown, fancy recital hall in New York or a European city. I would be judged, heavily.

Though, in the end, when I attend a concert, I am only waiting for that eighty-eighth measure, the one with the brass and climax, the one where the rest of the audience jump in their seats because they were not expecting that, and have never heard the piece, and are hear because a friend brought them, or they have money to spend, or they wanted something to do on this Saturday evening.

So, ha! That is the truth, right? The *Music * is why you attend, not the people or community. You are there for the music, not for the appearance. You come to listen, not to look good in a suit, or even a polo. You are there because notes and melodies make you feel something.

In sum, *especially if you skip to the bottom of this post,* attend the concert. Dress how you want. Get whatever seat you want. The single reason you attend is for the music. That is all.


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## papsrus (Oct 7, 2014)

Avey said:


> (...)
> 
> Granted, where I live, showing up in with a bike helmet, jeans, baseball-tee, maybe a bandana -- no one really frowns on you. For this, I am grateful, and I acknowledge it. But I could not imagine doing this in Texas (sorry...) or some renown, fancy recital hall in New York or a European city. I would be judged, heavily.
> 
> (...)


I've been on a bit of a concert bender the past few days -- four concerts in four days, including a couple of performances at two of those fancy halls in New York.

Some people dress up, some come in jeans. Nobody really cares. There was a guy in a straw hat at my local hall for a concert I attended this afternoon. And that's his regular gear; I've seen him there with the same lid before.

And always expect a few eccentrics, like the guy -- with beard, so definitely a dude -- who sat front and center at my local opera house last season, loud and proud wearing a brightly colored dress. Strutted around without a care in the world (obviously). Nobody really cared. And opera houses tend to be a tad more the tuxedo-and-fur-coat crowd than concert halls, in my experience.

Most people are there for the music, and seem generally pleased when younger folks attend. There are fussy folks who don't like bobbing and swaying heads in front of them or whatever. Or who don't like people who dress up. Don't sweat it. You'll be welcome.


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## mortimerrush (Oct 11, 2013)

Well, seems everyone says dress what you want, not many will pay attention. So I suppose I'll put on something smart casual and attend.
Still terrified though, but still going.
Thanks for all the advice, nice when you get lot's of helpful advice.


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## ahammel (Oct 10, 2012)

mortimerrush said:


> Well, seems everyone says dress what you want, not many will pay attention. So I suppose I'll put on something smart casual and attend.
> Still terrified though, but still going.
> Thanks for all the advice, nice when you get lot's of helpful advice.


Good, I'm sure you'll have a great time! What's on the programme?


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## GGluek (Dec 11, 2011)

The only hard and fast rule is to try not to detract from other people's enjoyment. Turn off your cell phone, don't listen to you iPod, don't tap your foot or hum along to the music, and don't air conduct. Other than that, enjoy yourself.


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

pianississimo said:


> I don't understand when people go on about how stiff people are at concerts. There always seems to me to be a vast range. You find there are people dressed up very formal - bow ties and ball gowns etc. Then next to them will be sat someone in bermuda shorts and a tshirt. Nobody seems to care.
> 
> I go to concerts all over the place and I'm not aware of any kind of strict etiquette really. Clap at the end - it's easy to find out when that is by listening to the pieces on youtube before you go. and try not to make too much noise. That's it really.
> 
> ...


What a wonderful story!


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

mortimerrush said:


> Hello,
> 
> I'm a 19 year old university student, I've been taking piano lessons since mid october.
> My teacher tells me I should really try going to one of the local concerts, and I admit I always wanted to.
> ...


I've just read through the responses and apart from Dim7's experience :lol: (!) everyone's advice is sound.

I'm an opera fan but never saw it live until a few years' ago and I remember the fear I felt when I went for the first time. A couple of members have suggested you go on your own and I would definitely agree. I've made lots of friends who are fans just by going and by making conversation.

Hope you have a wonderful time.


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## Badinerie (May 3, 2008)

Relax, its just a music show not a rectal examination! The venue will be glad you bought the seat, the Orchestra will love to play for you. If anyone gives you any bother tell me, and I'll come over and sort them out...Go enjoy yourself!


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## OboeKnight (Jan 25, 2013)

I hope you have a great time! I go every weekend. I attend a music school, so I always have plenty of people my age to go with. I'm sure it would be very difficult to find people who weren't music majors that would want to go. I wouldn't focus on dress, just make sure not to clap in the wrong places. Enjoy it!


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## mortimerrush (Oct 11, 2013)

ahammel said:


> Good, I'm sure you'll have a great time! What's on the programme?


Trio Martinu

Suk Elegy Op.23
Dvořák Piano trio in B flat
Shubert Piano trio No. 2 in E flat

hehe I don't know any of those.
Still new to all this.
By the way what does Door 7pm mean? closing at 7 or opening?


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## bharbeke (Mar 4, 2013)

Doors 7 PM would be short for "Doors will open to the audience at 7 PM." I assume the concert is at 7:30 or 8.


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## rrudolph (Sep 15, 2011)

Avey said:


> ...classical concerts are -- recall, *my own grievance here* -- overwhelmingly haughty, uptight, strict, and rather absurd events. People dress up. People smell of products and fragrance. People drink wine and other fancy cocktails. People _expect_ others to do the same.
> 
> The whole _act_ of attending the classical concert -- opera, symphony, chamber, whatever -- is an outdated and frankly snobby affair. It is an antiquated culture. Truly, I am disappointed every time I venture out to the concert hall, because things still have not changed.


I'm a little surprised to read this. I regularly perform professionally with a couple of orchestras in a fairly large east-coast city (Philadelphia) and the only times I have seen anything like this scenario have been closed-to-the-public fundraising affairs where the organization is romancing big-money donors (even those aren't necessarily as stuffy as you might think). Public concerts are pretty much always come-as-you-are, glad-you're-here events. If you've paid your money and you're not disruptive you have as much right to be there as anyone else. Don't be intimidated!

Also, as a card-carrying member of the classical performing community, I think I can speak for tens of thousands of working musicians (including the ones you will hear at the concert you are going to) when I say PLEASE COME TO OUR CONCERTS!!! WE WANT YOU THERE!!!


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