# Opera Jokes !



## superhorn (Mar 23, 2010)

How can you tell when a Wagnerian soprano has died ? The horses in the opera house look relieved.

What's the difference between an operatic diva and a pit bull ? Jewelry and make up !

What's the difference between an opera diva and a terrorist ? You can negotiate with a terrorist !

How can you tell if a guy is an opera tenor ? 
There's resonance where the brain should be !






:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Barbarella (Jul 24, 2020)

Here is a great one from Larson's, The Far Side


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## Seattleoperafan (Mar 24, 2013)

My nickname for Lakme is Lick Me. Sorry.


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## The Conte (May 31, 2015)

Sutherland and Bonynge's nickname for Les Hugenots was Les Hugenuts! (Better read in an Australian accent.)

N.


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## nina foresti (Mar 11, 2014)

A popular and fun mispronunciation of King Philippe's "Ella giamma m'mo" ("She never loved me") from _Don Carlo_ is "Aunt Jemima mo".


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## Ich muss Caligari werden (Jul 15, 2020)

Did you know that there is a railroad opera? 
_Carmen_
(from the trade journal _Railway Age_ in 1927)


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## Ich muss Caligari werden (Jul 15, 2020)

nina foresti said:


> A popular and fun mispronunciation of King Philippe's "Ella giamma m'mo" ("She never loved me") from _Don Carlo_ is "Aunt Jemima mo".


Good example of a _Mondegreen_ (misheard song lyric) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen


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## Barelytenor (Nov 19, 2011)

Only opera joke I can remember: "What's the difference in Aïda and a Presbyterian?" Aida says "mai piú."


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## nina foresti (Mar 11, 2014)

Ich muss Caligari werden said:


> Good example of a _Mondegreen_ (misheard song lyric) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen


Oh I just loved this.
Ya maid mai dai.


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## Music Snob (Nov 14, 2018)

How many Wagnerian heroes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two

One to die trying and the other to bark for 45 minutes about the events leading up to the attempt.


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## gvn (Dec 14, 2019)

In London, in 1865, Meyerbeer's _L'Africaine_ and a now-forgotten opera named _Ida_ were playing simultaneously. (That much is true.) According to _Punch_ magazine, a gentleman was asked which one he wanted to see. He replied:

"How happy could I be with Ida,
Were Vasco da Gama away."

(I don't want to ruin the joke by explaining it, but if you don't get it immediately, see Macheath's aria in Act 2 of _The Beggar's Opera_.)


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## gvn (Dec 14, 2019)

Ich muss Caligari werden said:


> Did you know that there is a railroad opera?
> _Carmen_
> (from the trade journal _Railway Age_ in 1927)


There's a second railroad opera:
_The Rows of Cast Steel_
(from an almost equally illustrious literary source, James Joyce's _Ulysses_).


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## nina foresti (Mar 11, 2014)

Ariadne is nauseas


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## Seattleoperafan (Mar 24, 2013)

How about an opera standup comedianne:



 Rita Hunter was not just one of those rare dramatic coloratura/ Wagnerians but was brilliant at standup. Great delivery.


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## nina foresti (Mar 11, 2014)

Barelytenor said:


> Only opera joke I can remember: "What's the difference in Aïda and a Presbyterian?" Aida says "mai piú."


'Splain please. What does "Never again" have to do with Presbyterians?


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## fluteman (Dec 7, 2015)

gvn said:


> There's a second railroad opera:
> _The Rows of Cast Steel_
> (from an almost equally illustrious literary source, James Joyce's _Ulysses_).


Show me a novel with more, and more elaborate, puns than Ulysses, and I'll be impressed. That is a good one. Thanks, yours is the post of the day for me.


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## superhorn (Mar 23, 2010)

How can you tell when a Wagnerian soprano has died ? All of a sudden, the horses look a lot more relaxed !


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

superhorn said:


> How can you tell when a Wagnerian soprano has died ? All of a sudden, the horses look a lot more relaxed !


Don't they know that the obesity rate is rising?


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## Spy Car (Nov 15, 2017)

Unabashedly stolen from an old Grateful Dead joke.

Two Wagnerians are leaving a performance of Götterdämmerung, the first Wagnerian says to the other,"that was the most dreadful staging and costuming I've ever seen, the acoustics were terrible, the conducting was atrocious, and that's by far the worst singing I've ever heard."

The second responses, "I concur entirely--in fact you are far too kind--and worst of all, with the conductor's ridiculously fast tempi, it was way too short."

Bill


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## The Conte (May 31, 2015)

nina foresti said:


> 'Splain please. What does "Never again" have to do with Presbyterians?


"My pew!"

Make sense now?

N.


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## nina foresti (Mar 11, 2014)

Ahhh! That's what I get for never acknowledging my Mother's Presbyterianism. (and neither did she!)


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## hammeredklavier (Feb 18, 2018)

This is how Gluck's overtures would have sounded if Handel's cook helped him:


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## JTS (Sep 26, 2021)

When do opera singers play baseball?
When they have perfect pitch


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## JTS (Sep 26, 2021)

Why do pirates listen to opera?
Because they love the high Cs

Why don’t bankers listen to Wagner?
They soon lose interest!


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## JTS (Sep 26, 2021)

What did John Ford have in common with Puccini?

Horse operas


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## hammeredklavier (Feb 18, 2018)

JTS said:


> Why do pirates listen to opera?
> Because they love the high Cs
> Why don't bankers listen to Wagner?
> They soon lose interest!


But when pirates are on high Cs, they'll sing




and bankers accompanying and listening to them will soon gain interest.
(Btw, banking and marine insurance were invented by Dutchmen)


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