# La Marioneta



## MarkMcD

This piano piece is about as modern as I get. Again I'm reasonably happy with it although it's not doing what I wanted it to do, but after trying quite a few times to rectify what I think is wrong, I'm a bit at a loss as to how to make it better.

To me, it seems to stay too rigidly in one key, I want to have some more variation in this respect, but each time I try, it seems to fall apart. I think one of the problems is that when I wrote this, it all came out in just one sitting, almost without my having to think about it. Of course I then spent a long time trying to refine and polish it, and to a certain degree, I feel it's got something I like, but............

Anyway, what do you think?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/qjxxv2s3j2w1ojk/La Marioneta (final version).mp3?dl=0

Mark


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## nikola

Well, I certainly like it. Very exciting piece. I think that you like to analyze your music too much which is fine, but I don't think that this piece needs more versatility of any kind. It stays within the frame of its main idea, yet it still goes in different and exciting directions. To my amateur ears this sounds very professional and even inspired for a piece of music from someone who isn't that much skilled musician, as you said.


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## MarkMcD

Thanks a lot Nikola, I think you're right in that I do tend to over think things it's true. I'm so glad you like it. You describe yourself as having amateur ears, but like every other person on the face of the planet, you know when you encounter something, that you either like or dislike it, and if a person likes something created by another, then it means that the thing has some merit, be it music, art, poetry, graffiti on a wall or whatever. Being able to understand the intricacies of it's creation is incidental to it's enjoyment, and that is all I ever ask for, that it be enjoyed for what it is.

Mark


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## Omnimusic

Mark, this is a very nice piece! It was never boring. The structure reminds me a bit of to the Prelude of Cantos de España of Albéniz, but still, quite different. Excellent work! I don´t think that it needs so much more refinement. It is good as it is.

Greetings


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## MarkMcD

Thanks Omnimusic,

Maybe you're right, I've been tinkering with it in the last few days but still to no avail, maybe I'll leave it alone.

Happy 2017


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## Xinver

Hi....
I was eager to listen to your music, but I have problems with the dropbox player. Well, finally I could hear La Marioneta.

I think the way it is, it's great. No doubt about the Spanish air (scale, rhythm), I love it, so familiar. Your language is very tonal although you manage here the dissonances quite well.

I can only say, in my opinion, that perhaps you could improve it by planning the sections. In other words: the Form.
Almost everyghint in the piece seems to be taken from the same material, which I don't think is bad because your developmentes are powerful. There are two sections that seem to be different: 1:15 - 1:50 and from 3:20..., they are slowers and they seem to bring new things to the composition. The first one sounds like a musicbox... Perhaps your focus was mostly in the variation of one prime section. 
Anyway, it's a gift to the ears.

Saludos.


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## Pugg

> Hi....
> I was eager to listen to your music, but I have problems with the dropbox player.


Same "problem" almost impossible to hear.


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## MarkMcD

Hi Luis and Pugg, I'm sorry you had trouble listening, I'll post a new link at the end of this reply and see if that's any better.

Thank you Luis for your very kind words, I do agree, it does have a quite singular feel and I want it to vary much more than it does. I do keep working on it from time to time so watch this space, I'll get it how I want it some day or other. I like that you picked up the Spanish flavor, albeit un poco soso lol. The second quiet section was meant to be a sort of development of the first, it just didn't want to! I will keep your suggestions in mind the next time I tackle a revision.

Many thanks
Mark

Pugg, try this link, it plays fine for me, hope you can hear it better.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/qjxxv2s3j2w1ojk/La Marioneta (final version).mp3?dl=0


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## EdwardBast

Hi Mark,

I like all of the material but I won't second guess your conclusion, apparently arrived at after living with the piece for a long time, that more variety or contrast is needed. Accepting your conclusion, I would suggest that what it needs isn't different keys, but perhaps a central section strongly contrasting in texture, mode and rhythm (or two of these). Something legato and in major mode maybe, where the driving pulse gets a rest? Or misty and mysterious? Then the challenge, of course, is setting up and making the return to the A section coherent. ABA or ABA' is a tried and true format for piano works of this length, after all. And nothing sets up appreciation for one set of qualities than an encounter with their opposites. (Salty snacks with ice cream.)


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## MarkMcD

Hello Edward, 

You've hit the nail on the head, the challenge is very much how to arrive back to first theme in a coherent manner. Diverging is relatively simple, knitting it all back together is what keeps beating me............at the moment!

I do like your suggestion for something of high contrast in both melody and rhythm, but keeping the dissonant feel intact so it doesn't feel like something just thrown in for the hell of it. (?)

Anyway, it's next on the list for revision because it does have something that I really like and so I wouldn't like to just leave it to fade out of my favor.

Thanks again for your kind words.
Best regards
Mark


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## KjellPrytz

Mark,
this is a brilliant tune. I think it is very stimulating to keep the tempo going. At the end, I am left with a longing for a contrast, i.e. a slow piece. That's why I recommend a second movement of this contrasting kind, you will mesmerize the listener.

Kjell


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## MarkMcD

Thank you Kjellprytz,

I am working, not on a second movement as such, but I want to add a slow section before the end to provide the contrast that you talk about, taking the form of a further development of the themes already used, but this time in a major mode. I've found it hard to stitch something else in there, but you and a few others have said similar things and I do believe that you're all right so watch this space lol.

Thanks for you kind words, I really appreciate it.

Mark


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## MarkMcD

I've been working on a revision as I mentioned, and now I have it done, I'll post it and see if you think it's better or worse.

The contrasted development comes in around the 3 and a half minute mark, I like it, it seems to fit, I'll have to live with it a bit longer to be sure.

Thanks
Mark

https://www.dropbox.com/s/pd53v9ru9kvggk5/La Marioneta - Revision 2.mp3?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/m1j4bjtayfhppfi/La Marioneta revised.pdf?dl=0 (the score)


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## KjellPrytz

You have certainly succeeded in increasing contrast and made a good tune even better. I like it that the contrast consists not only of a slower tempo but also deeper (low-pitch) tones utilizing more of the piano capabilities.

Kjell


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## MarkMcD

Thanks Kjell,

I'm reasonably pleased with how it turned out, it only added about 40 seconds but I think it's enough for this piece. As I was playing with it, more ideas were coming to me and so as you said before, I might try turning this into a sonata, check back in about a year, there might be more to hear LOL

Regards
Mark


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## MarkMcD

To pugg, you've teased me a couple of times now with this piece, are you still having trouble hearing the dropbox link? Come on, jump off the fence, what do you think???:lol:


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## zinc701

I like it, nice work. I have to say, you are a very hard working composer. That's a very good thing to be.


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## MarkMcD

Hi Zinc,

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. As for the hard working bit, well I love playing with music, and I am in the very fortunate position of being semi retired now, so I have the time to spare. My partner feels a little left out from time to time when I get into the mood to write because hours pass by without me really noticing, but we all have to suffer for our art lol!:lol:


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## EdwardBast

MarkMcD said:


> Hello Edward,
> 
> You've hit the nail on the head, the challenge is very much how to arrive back to first theme in a coherent manner. Diverging is relatively simple, knitting it all back together is what keeps beating me............at the moment!
> 
> I do like your suggestion for something of high contrast in both melody and rhythm, but keeping the dissonant feel intact so it doesn't feel like something just thrown in for the hell of it. (?)
> 
> Anyway, it's next on the list for revision because it does have something that I really like and so I wouldn't like to just leave it to fade out of my favor.
> 
> Thanks again for your kind words.
> Best regards
> Mark


One tried and true strategy for preparing retransitions (returns to principal material from relatively far afield) is to introduce a flirtation or two with the transitional passage somewhere in the middle of the contrasting section - as a sort of taste of contrast within the contrast. Then, when the real transition comes, it won't be immediately apparent what is afoot and the transition will sound like it has been led up to by increasingly obvious hints.

Another tried and true is to pepper the middle and end of the central section with a critical motive (hopefully short and immediately recognizable) from the principal material. Eventually it takes command through insistent pressure and the principal section returns.


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## Pugg

> Pugg, try this link, it plays fine for me, hope you can hear it better.
> 
> https://www.dropbox.com/s/qjxxv2s3j2...on).mp3?dl=0


This one I can hear very clearly, I like it, I always admire people who compose and put it on this forum
Not just talking about the "bigger" picture, just doing it, deep respect!


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## MarkMcD

Hello Edward,

Thanks for your help, quite obvious ideas when you think about it, but that's the difference between having the experience you yourself have, and the lack thereof in myself lol.

I think the main problem I have is that my formal musical training consists solely of few years piano lessons as a child, and little else, even then I wanted to play, not learn boring theory. My teacher committed the grave error of playing the pieces I was to learn, before I selected which I wanted. I would then mostly play them back by ear, rather than read them. 

My approach to writing music now is much more, sit down at the piano and see what happens, rather than having a plan backed up by knowledge of the subject. I'm trying to change all that and at the moment I'm reading Schoenberg's fundamentals, it's very hard going and dry, but hopefully something will stick.

Thank you Pugg, hope you don't mind me needling you, it was meant only in jest, but I'm glad you liked it. 

Kind regards
Mark


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## Pugg

> Thank you Pugg, hope you don't mind me needling you, it was meant only in jest, but I'm glad you liked it.


No offence was taken, good luck in the future, looking forward to hear it.


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