# Please listen to this song I wrote and give me some feedback.



## JoshRoehl (Jun 25, 2020)

I wrote and released a song today called "Time Machine". Please listen to it and give me some feedback. Here is a link to the song:


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## Rogerx (Apr 27, 2018)

JoshRoehl said:


> I wrote and released a song today called "Time Machine". Please listen to it and give me some feedback. Here is a link to the song:


No offence but a few singing lessons would not hurt .


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## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

The music itself sounds like a rehash from the 1980's.

The lyrics are banal.

The singing is horrible.


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## BrahmsWasAGreatMelodist (Jan 13, 2019)

Can't tell whether or not this is troll. But I suppose it doesn't really matter... I enjoyed it for what it is haha. But I think I'll be in the minority there.


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

Listened to the first part and found it ... er, unexpectedly entertaining, in that combination of the text and the singing.

2:46 and 3:45 might be highlights 


There's a certain market for non-singers. He sings like he's absolutely tone-deaf.

Alternatively, get singing lessons, as others have said.


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## SanAntone (May 10, 2020)

Turned it off after the first two lines.


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

Bulldog said:


> The music itself sounds like a rehash from the 1980's.
> 
> The lyrics are banal.
> 
> The singing is horrible.


Could you be a little more honest about it! Hey, the kid looks to be about 12 years old so no need to be so cruel.


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

Well, he must at least be 18.


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## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

starthrower said:


> Could you be a little more honest about it! Hey, the kid looks to be about 12 years old so no need to be so cruel.


He's not a child, and honesty is much better than sugar-coating and lying.


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

Bulldog said:


> He's not a child, and honesty is much better than sugar-coating and lying.


12 years old is a child. Honestly, if a singer like Whitney Houston overdubbed vocals to that music and it was promoted on the radio it would probably be a million seller.


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

From research you'll see that he's older than that.


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## BrahmsWasAGreatMelodist (Jan 13, 2019)

Do people here like The Shaggs?


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

joen_cph said:


> From research you'll see that he's older than that.


You actually did research on this? I think it must be a joke, really. But like I said, plenty of this kind of music sold millions in the 80s with a good vocalist. They even ripped off Gordon Lightfoot's melody for that big Whitney Houston hit. And he rightfully sued.


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

starthrower said:


> You actually did research on this? I think it must be a joke, really. But like I said, plenty of this kind of music sold millions in the 80s with a good vocalist. They even ripped off Gordon Lightfoot's melody for that big Whitney Houston hit. And he rightfully sued.


You'd have a point if you, contrary to what I thought, was right about his age, so I checked. Easy with a couple of minutes' googling. The photo on that youtube channel is an old one.


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

Don’t be put off by these negative remarks I enjoyed the variety of melodic ideas and your voice has a magic something about it that grows on me the more I listen, keep striving and you will soon be recognised in the profession. Well done.


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

Let's kindly keep to positive comments, please. This is an honest plea from a new member who is seeking some advice! 

They have arrived here because we have an excellent reputation in helping people. Remember your roots when you first started out being a musician?


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

It turns out that there are about 15 different you-tube videos, and some got 1000s of comments, of varied content.


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## GucciManeIsTheNewWebern (Jul 29, 2020)

Bulldog said:


> He's not a child, and honesty is much better than sugar-coating and lying.


I think the earlier in life you learn not to take criticism personally, the better.


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## Rogerx (Apr 27, 2018)

If you can take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.


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## Dan Ante (May 4, 2016)

Rogerx said:


> If you can take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.


"Liberté, égalité, fraternité"


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

GucciManeIsTheNewWebern said:


> I think the earlier in life you learn not to take criticism personally, the better.


Yes, but constructive criticism ... in ways that will help a new and hopefully aspiring young musician fulfill their dreams and become a better musician.

I started out as a child ... 6 years old when I began piano lessons. I never got slapped on the wrist, rather, was coached gently along the way ... and I learned much more being treated with respect.


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## pianozach (May 21, 2018)

After reading the thread, I think I'll take a pass on listening.

I honestly hate it when someone posts a song they've recorded (and released?) that is sub-par, and ask a bunch of amateur and professional musicians and musicologists for feedback. 

Am I expected to sugarcoat my response and tell them lies, or do they really want an honest assessment? Because by the tone of the already posted comments, I'm liable to be brutally honest. 

It's especially awful when a vocal is simply terrifyingly bad, and it appears (from the comments) that is the case here. 

Maybe I'll listen later when I'm in a frame of mind to be forgiving of vocal transgressions.


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## SanAntone (May 10, 2020)

Krummhorn said:


> Yes, but constructive criticism ... in ways that will help a new and hopefully aspiring young musician fulfill their dreams and become a better musician.
> 
> I started out as a child ... 6 years old when I began piano lessons. I never got slapped on the wrist, rather, was coached gently along the way ... and I learned much more being treated with respect.


I think you are confused. We have no obligation to "help a new and hopefully aspiring young musician fulfill their dreams and become a better musician" and respond to this thread with only "constructive" feedback. Part of becoming a better musician and/or songwriter is learning how to deal with rejection. I have been a professional songwriter for 40 years and know this first hand.

You only do a disservice to someone who seriously aspires to become a musician or songwriter by sugar coating a request to critique their work. Of course, it should be done with respect, but it is possible to be honest and not cruel.


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## pianozach (May 21, 2018)

pianozach said:


> After reading the thread, I think I'll take a pass on listening.
> 
> I honestly hate it when someone posts a song they've recorded (and released?) that is sub-par, and ask a bunch of amateur and professional musicians and musicologists for feedback.
> 
> ...


In real life, I've been a musical director in theatre for 40 years or so. One thing that's been helpful to me is what one director once said to a particularly frightened auditionee after she tanked her audition: "Oh - you're local. That's good."

He found something true and complimentary to say to every auditionee.

An acting coach I know does audition-workshops-for-hire, and I accompanied him for a couple of these geared for teens. Attendees would bring an audition piece, and he would "Master Class" their song.

He'd ALWAYS start with "something true and complimentary to say", THEN find ONE thing that he knew he could help them with to get some immediate improvement. Even if they were awful. "I really liked the passion you brought to your song. Let's do some work on your phrasing."

:angel:

So . . . I made it through 2 minutes of this "song" before closing the window. If this were an audition, that's where I'd say "Thank you." That means, "Stop, please." Fortunately, holding auditions means that I don't have to give the auditionee a critique, but I will write down some notes.

So I'll say something nice: I like how the tempo stays steady.

And, so . . . it's not just your song you're asking for a critique on, but also your presentation. So, since you've asked us to be frank, the whole two minute experience was worse than I expected.


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## pianozach (May 21, 2018)

Josh was here 6 months ago, with a different song, but the same request.

https://www.talkclassical.com/66644-please-listen-song-i.html?highlight=#post1864932

That was his first post.

This thread is his second post. It appears that his M.O. is to simply post a song, and not bother with the comments.


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## pianozach (May 21, 2018)

JoshRoehl said:


> I wrote and released a song today called "Time Machine". Please listen to it and give me some feedback. Here is a link to the song:


Time Machine
Josh Roehl






Love, heart, soul
Lil Brit


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## BrahmsWasAGreatMelodist (Jan 13, 2019)

^^^ That's a big "oof".


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