# How to deal with telemarketers



## Guest (Aug 14, 2015)

:lol:

http://www.tickld.com/x/jaw/how-to-...aign=telemarketers&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2


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## GhenghisKhan (Dec 25, 2014)

this isn't a real conversation. No one gives a darn about their employer in survey companies.


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## dawning (Aug 15, 2015)

Kontrapunctus said:


> :lol:
> 
> http://www.tickld.com/x/jaw/how-to-...aign=telemarketers&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2


That's really funny. I found that image several days ago at someone's post at http://callercenter.com, and I like to think that the "me" character is more telemarketer that the telemarketer itself. :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## GhenghisKhan (Dec 25, 2014)




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## SimonNZ (Jul 12, 2012)

I can't help but now picture the real Ghenghis Khan as a telemarketer.

Just a caption away from a Far Side cartoon...


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## Taggart (Feb 14, 2013)

In the UK, it is possible to charge £10 a minute - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...wins-damages-time-wasted-answering-phone.html


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

Taggart said:


> In the UK, it is possible to charge £10 a minute - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...wins-damages-time-wasted-answering-phone.html


Good for Mr Herman!

Another wheeze which will yield no financial reward but provides entertainment for oneself is the following:

When you answer the call from the telesales person and they ask "Can I speak to Mr Taggart [for example]?" You put on a creepy voice and say "I'm not Mr Taggart today. Today I'm Nigel [or whatever name you wish to use], tomorrow I'll be Mr Taggart again." etc. This can be riffed on until they go quiet and ring off. As indeed they do.

:tiphat:


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## GhenghisKhan (Dec 25, 2014)

Dr Johnson said:


> When you answer the call from the telesales person and they ask "Can I speak to Mr Taggart [for example]?" You put on a creepy voice and say "I'm not Mr Taggart today. Today I'm Nigel [or whatever name you wish to use], tomorrow I'll be Mr Taggart again." etc. This can be riffed on until they go quiet and ring off. As indeed they do.
> 
> :tiphat:


"They"? I call back clients and then I **** with them twice as hard. So it can be a double edge sword.

Funny how all people who pull these kinds of tricks don't like it when things go off-script and they simply don't see the humor then. I wonder why?

:tiphat:


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

GhenghisKhan said:


> "They"? I call back clients and then I **** with them twice as hard. So it can be a double edge sword.
> 
> Funny how all people who pull these kinds of tricks don't like it when things go off-script and they simply don't see the humor then. I wonder why?
> 
> :tiphat:


You are a telesales person?


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2015)

I often receive "telemarketing surveys" (translation: disguised sales calls) during the day, but I think we need to realize it's a crap job for these people and I always try to be polite but firm in turning them down.


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## EdwardBast (Nov 25, 2013)

I'm surprised no one has yet linked to this Seinfeld snippet:


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## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

TalkingHead said:


> I often receive "telemarketing surveys" (translation: disguised sales calls) during the day, but I think we need to realize it's a crap job for these people and I always try to be polite but firm in turning them down.


When called by these people, I always say "I'm not interested; have a good day". Then I hang up. I have no sympathy for folks who waste my time with their garbage calls.


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## Badinerie (May 3, 2008)

Its all automated calls I get. I imagine the human cold callers are frightened of me now.
Horrendous verbal abuse can do this to a telemarketer.
These people are children of Satan though and they deserve it!


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## GhenghisKhan (Dec 25, 2014)

Dr Johnson said:


> You are a telesales person?


Used to, I often wish people I talk to had children so i could stomp on their testicles.

Since I'm pretty sure the government prevented most of them from reproducing, I did the next best thing and trolled them on the phone instead.

Espescially the old farts. They can tell I'm a foreigner too so if they become xenophobic/racist I truly have a field day with them. The more white/conservative/religious, the better!


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## geralmar (Feb 15, 2013)

I feel sorry for telemarketers. Most are just average low-wage workers trying to make a dollar. That doesn't mean I have to talk with them, though.


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

GhenghisKhan said:


> Used to,* I often wish people I talk to had children so i could stomp on their testicles.*
> 
> Since I'm pretty sure the government prevented most of them from reproducing, I did the next best thing and trolled them on the phone instead.
> 
> Espescially the old farts. They can tell I'm a foreigner too so if they become xenophobic/racist I truly have a field day with them. The more white/conservative/religious, the better!


I'm sure that you were a credit to the industry.


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

(inexplicable duplicate post)


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## EdwardBast (Nov 25, 2013)

I think many call centers use robo-dialing from a list, so there is often a delay between the time I pick up the phone and say hello and the telemarketer's response. The delay is a dead giveaway, so I always hang up before word one. Hasn't been an issue lately, however, because in many parts of the States, one can get on a no-call list which makes telemarketing to your number illegal.


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

EdwardBast said:


> I think many call centers use robo-dialing from a list, so there is often a delay between the time I pick up the phone and say hello and the telemarketer's response. The delay is a dead giveaway, so I always hang up before word one. *Hasn't been an issue lately, however, because in many parts of the States, one can get on a no-call list which makes telemarketing to your number illegal.*


Also in the UK nowadays.

If you register here it does get rid of nearly all such bother.


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## Krummhorn (Feb 18, 2007)

In the US the Do Not Call Registry stops most legitimate telemarketers. It doesn't stop the robo calling however nor does it have any effect on political calls/polls.

My landline service has a freebie add-on that give me the option to white list and black list phone numbers at will. Those not on the white list, when calling, get a recorded message that requires them to press "1" to continue. Most all robo caller machines cannot "hear" that message and will not press "1" to continue and their call gets dropped.

I also have the ability to block phone numbers permanently ... mostly political ones are on my list.

I also have Caller-ID for incoming calls so I can see who is calling before I decide to answer. I can also save and title incoming calls from those numbers which I routinely do business.

For all others that come through, I casually answer the phone: "Braverton County Sheriff, how may I direct your call?" ... there is usually a very long silence on the other end and then they hang up. :lol:

In the US telemarketers are not allowed (by law) to contact via mobile phone numbers. But for the few that seem to believe that they are above the law, I can block those numbers too with my mobile carrier.

If it was up to me, I would totally ditch my landline and use our mobile phones ... but my wife likes having the landline <sigh> and who am I to protest against my wife ... I could end up in divorce court :lol: ... so, it stays ... but she is s l o w l y seeing my viewpoint.


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## GhenghisKhan (Dec 25, 2014)

Dr Johnson said:


> I'm sure that you were a credit to the industry.


Fo' sho'. You don't get away with these kind of antics if you're not good at it. Riiiii---------- iiiiiiiiiiiiiight?

:lol:


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

This is one of the best ones I've ever heard, though it could be illegal...


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## Guest (Aug 18, 2015)

Worse than telemarketers are the scam artists, such as those claiming to be from "Windows"! (Do they not realize it's a product, not a company?) Long story short, they pretend there is something wrong with your computer and eventually they get victims to click on a link. This link basically locks the computer and they charge $500 or more to unlock it. I've had quite a bit of fun with them by pretending to go along, and I end with a statement to them that I can't reproduce here. Other times, I tell them to hang on while I get to my computer and just leave the phone off the hook. They eventually hang up.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Kontrapunctus said:


> Worse than telemarketers are the scam artists, such as those claiming to be from "Windows"! (Do they not realize it's a product, not a company?) Long story short, they pretend there is something wrong with your computer and eventually they get victims to click on a link. This link basically locks the computer and they charge $500 or more to unlock it. I've had quite a bit of fun with them by pretending to go along, and I end with a statement to them that I can't reproduce here. Other times, I tell them to hang on while I get to my computer and just leave the phone off the hook. They eventually hang up.


In my country ( Holland) they (from Windows ) speak English to me, as if that is "normal" so I always jokes about , not speaking a foreign languages, if that's not really helping I continue to say that the call is recorded for police purposes. 
Never heard from them again .
:lol:


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## Wood (Feb 21, 2013)

Influenced by the links on this thread, last night I responded to a call from a nice Indian lady who asked if I would like to take part in a survey. I said that I would be delighted, and that I charge £10 per minute for my time, would that be okay? She chuckled uncertainly, and politely declined. We went our separate ways, and honour was satisfied on both sides.

It felt much better and took little more time than just angrily putting the phone down without responding. I might use the same technique on unwanted calls from relatives.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

My mother, who is deaf, and also has no idea of what they're talking about, usually manages to shed the cold caller pretty quickly. 

But it's really annoying the way they keep ringing me in the middle of a fiddle tune! 

You can set the phone not to receive 'number withheld' calls, but we fell foul of that in 2002 when John was taken ill & the doctors and hospitals were unable to get through. I don't personally see why doctors and hospitals withhold their number, but they do, so I had to ring up 'a nice man' to restore our phone, and now we get all these cold calls.

'Taggart' had a wonderful moment yesterday with someone who rang up and asked for the previous occupant by name: 'May I speak to Mr Walter Jones?' 
Tag explained that we'd bought the house from Mr Jones eighteen years ago, but that he'd since died - thinking sympathetically that the man was a friend, maybe someone who'd taught along with him at the Grammar School.
The caller went on to say that Mr Jones had been a customer of their double glazing firm, and did we need our windows updated?

Tag replied: 'As I was saying, we bought the house from Mr Jones eighteen years ago and immediately found that the windows were rubbish. The handles kept falling off - but when we rang you and asked if you could fix the problem, you wanted nothing to do with us. So no, we don't need your services - we've had all our windows redone by a really good local firm who have done the job properly. Good day.'

What was so funny was Tag's tone - polite and 'eminently reasonable' - as he explained that the product was rubbish. I overheard the call, and was chuckling all day... :lol:


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## Figleaf (Jun 10, 2014)

Wood said:


> Influenced by the links on this thread, last night I responded to a call from a nice Indian lady who asked if I would like to take part in a survey. I said that I would be delighted, and that I charge £10 per minute for my time, would that be okay? She chuckled uncertainly, and politely declined. We went our separate ways, and honour was satisfied on both sides.
> 
> It felt much better and took little more time than just angrily putting the phone down without responding. I might use the same technique on unwanted calls from relatives.


I hope I qualify for 'mates' rates'! :lol:


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Telemarketers are some of the lowest scum on earth, often preying on elderly widows. A bullet between the eyes of these "sales people" would be too kind. Preferably, a life sentence without food, water, or toilet, and a steady stream of telemarketing calls into their box until they succumb.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

Kontrapunctus said:


> *Worse than telemarketers are the scam artists,* such as those claiming to be from "Windows"! (Do they not realize it's a product, not a company?)....


I lump all the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in the same boat. My most recent was from Jamaicascam.


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## Jos (Oct 14, 2013)

I once had a Nigerian prince, no less, who really wanted 10000 dollars from me to secure an enormous amount of money (millions ,I tell you, and an estate as well). It was a complex story involving lawyers and diplomats and international businesspeople. Ofcourse I would benefit greatly, unimaginably rich I would be.
We had such fun for a while, well at least I had. Never heard from him again. I miss those Nigerian scamartists, they have probably all secured their inheritances.......:lol:


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## Wood (Feb 21, 2013)

Figleaf said:


> I hope I qualify for 'mates' rates'! :lol:


You do indeed, my darling soul mate. :kiss:



Vaneyes said:


> Telemarketers are some of the lowest scum on earth, often preying on elderly widows. A bullet between the eyes of these "sales people" would be too kind. Preferably, a life sentence without food, water, or toilet, and a steady stream of telemarketing calls into their box until they succumb.


Absolutely. Those nice young men in shiny suits who go door to door are the lowest, preying on elderly women who are from a more courteous but naive generation . They seem to be unable to close the door in the face of these scumbags. Your listed punishments are entirely appropriate Van.


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## joen_cph (Jan 17, 2010)

An elderly lady here recently gained a lot of major media attention due to her dealing with telemarketers - she had developed a lot of techniques on how to confuse them, prolong the conversation, to their increasing frustration - and her increasing delight. 

But I find street and shopping center campaigns (memberships of various organizations, energy or media companies seeking customers, etc.) more plentiful and quite aggressive here, at times to an annoying degree. Especially when they try to cover their real intent. 

My advise would be: stick to the law, be honest and objectively reserved, present the offer as quickly and directly as possible, and accept a "no thanks" immediately.

Door selling is prohibited here.


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