# Classical Music and the Parents' Peril



## Ukko (Jun 4, 2010)

A recent (short) thread has caused me to contemplate a parenting dilemma that I (a lifelong bachelor) had paid little attention to.

Classical music seems to require more than the usual preparation from young people who aspire* to be professional musicians. They have to start early, and work hard. If the child has the ambition as well as the potential, perhaps the only requirement is opportunity. But if the child has the potential without the ambition, the parent(s) face a decision - one with a time constraint, whichever way is chosen.

Can the ambition be instilled from without? Will practice/lessons evolve from drudgery to desire, if I/we insist? If the motor of ambition will not start, when do I/we relent?

There are potential rewards and penalties all over the place, and fortunately I don't have to explore them. The parents of such children have my sympathy.

* I use the word 'aspire' here equivocally; the word is not ambiguous, but the identity of the possessor of the sentiment may be.


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

I think this can is possible and has happened with, perhaps, some truly wonderful musicians. I feel, however, that the best way for any person to fully embrace a love for music and playing instruments is to simply want to do it for themselves. I know this was true for me as I was the only one of my siblings (both older) that did not get any piano classes as a young child or get pushed to play in any way and a dozen or so instruments later, I'm still immersed in music and always wanting to learn more. The best inspiration comes from within.


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## Llyranor (Dec 20, 2010)

One of my biggest regrets is not having the opportunity to learn an instrument as a kid, but I'm also of a mind to think that perhaps I wouldn't have the maturity to appreciate the music lessons, and might just see it as difficult repetitive work getting in the way of playtime. It wasn't until much much later in life that I came to appreciate classical music of my own volition.

What I would want to instill into the younger generation is exposure (and hopefully appreciation) to classical music at an early age. From then, their desire (or non-desire) to learn an instrument would come from them, rather than any sort of parental pressure.


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## Clump (Sep 5, 2012)

As well as exposure to it they'd have to more or less understand the point of it if they're going to be passionate about it - when I first heard classical music I didn't even know to expect thematic development or recurring themes, having learned from pop music that all the interesting things happen in microstructure.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

Hilltroll72 said:


> .... Can the ambition be instilled from without? Will practice/lessons evolve from drudgery to desire, if I/we insist? If the motor of ambition will not start, when do I/we relent?


Q: Can the ambition be instilled from without?
A: Nope, unequivocally, nope.

Q: Will practice/lessons evolve from drudgery to desire, if I/we insist?
A: Highly unlikely, 'insist' should be for a brief period, half a year, one year maximum. That is enough time for the student to notice 'results' and to have found them 'motivating' - or not.

Q: If the motor of ambition will not start, when do I/we relent?
A: very near the beginning, early enough where the child may continue to take lessons for pleasure, with no exterior pressures, expectations, or psych 101 projected / transferred ambitions from the adults. Because the child otherwise stands a chance of later being turned off to ALL music, thereby possibly losing a lifelong friend in playing music as a happy dilettante / amateur..

An artist friend of mine put this very well: some people, at any point in their generally 'young' years, have their imaginations vehemently seized with a passionate curiosity and interest in a subject. She said, "They were 'bit by a bug and it never let go… like they got a virus which never left their body."

That is the difference -- extreme contrast here:
The late Alicia de Larrocha begged, pleaded and insisted of her parents that she be provided with piano lessons - _at age three_ --- When, understandably not expecting a child to know what they want and taking it as the mere whim of a three year-old, her parents did not set the child up, the three year-old de Larrocha sat at the piano in her home several days on end, and persistently played the instrument until her fingers were bloody. Then, the parents relented and the rest is musical history.

Contrast that to the eleven-year old from the short thread mentioned in the OP, who quite reluctantly, though he advanced quickly in just three years, was exhibited and felt he was being groomed for something which may only amount to his having a facile 'knack' - who has not begged and pleaded to continue, who did not of his own volition play the piano hours a day.

The bug finds you, and it is then 'all over' for those who were bitten and will never fully recover. There is no other explanation for the 'aspiration' to put in so many hours, 'give up' a lot of normal life even in childhood, and all for one of the gamier and most uncertain of successful futures [If you are 'bitten' and driven, the notion of 'giving something up' is not part of the equation... "Giving up what? I'm doing what I want to do."] That is far beyond 'an aspiration.' It is a driving and very palpable real need which keeps the bitten going - to the exclusion of many other interesting potential choices of what is interesting, as well as what are surely both more certain and lucrative professions.

No compelling need, no fine amateur player, no professional musician.


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## Ramako (Apr 28, 2012)

I never had the enthusiasm to practice, I was forced to do it for a long time (perhaps 5-10 years), and then was made to understood that giving up after that would be frowned on. Not being a particularly rebellious child I continued. In piano I learned to enjoy it, but I much more enjoy improvisation. Sight-reading is fun too, but spending hours over a piece I just don't have the patience for - I sort of wish I did. I am glad I was forced to do so because without it I would not have the expertise I would so desperately need, or be able to improvise. Without what little expertise I have I would feel very much lacking in the tools I need for composition. But for that I never had any forcing, and actually resisted outside intervention in one case.


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