# A venting thread



## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

All of sudden I'm _very_ tired. And I just need to spill, I don't like to bottle things up.

I was under the impression that my mom and I would be going to New York Feb. next year to see the Barber of Seville, when she changed her mind to go in March, it would've worked better. I told her that Diana Damrau and Juan Diego Florez would be holding a live interview for opera news then and tickets would only be $22. She said that it sounded like a wonderful idea, and I got extremely excited.

Its no secret I'm loyal DD fan. But to be in the same room as her!! And JDF is no chop liver himself!! I would actually get nervous butterflies every time I thought about it. I was so full of energy today (well for the past week really), Im out of school for a week and my brother is moving in with me so I decided to clean the house for him. I turned on my classical playlist, cranked it up and cleaned all day imagining getting a picture taken with the two of them and what questions the editor whould ask and how amazing it was all going to be!

My brother told me though, he warned me, that mom wasn't the best at planning trips and not to get my hopes up. I should have listened. You know I've been told that before, don't get your hopes up and I would just role my eyes, because I'd never experienced getting my hopes crushed before. Now I know.

It looks like mom got her dates mixed up and it was actually Feb. and not March that was the better time. She says we're still going but I can tell she's less than thrilled about going to the opera, and she doesn't seem to realize how much I was looking forward to the interview. I'm not mad, it just kills me how much getting your hopes up can hurt you. Because I knew about the interview for a while but I had resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be able to go, and that we had already planned a wonderful first trip to New York. But after I thought I was going to see Diana, and then realized I wasn't (about five minutes ago) I just felt exhausted.

My first reaction to the news was to come here because nobody else would understand. I guess the bigger issue is that I'm becoming more and more aware of a distance between my family and me. They just don't understand why I love opera and classical music, they try to be nice about it but whenever I try to get them to listen to something it's really obvious they're just humoring me and don't really want to be there. It's just not their thing.

Well, at least my house is clean.


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

Oh dear, that IS disappointing for you, it's worse when you think things are going to work out and then they don't happen.

Will you still get to hear them sing, or is it another cast?


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

I don't know, my mom isn't the most organized person in the world and well, I take after her. If nothing else changes I think I'll be able to get tickets for when Diana performs If not for Barber then maybe for elixer of love. Crossing my fingers! My mom and I are extremely alike, which you'd think would make us get along nicely, haha but somehow it makes us clash.:lol: I've just talked to her and to make the trip a bit more fun for her shes going to get tickets to a broadway show. So I'm going to try convert her to opera and she's going to try to convert me to broadway. Should be an interesting trip!


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Oh Adele - what a shame. And I can understand totally how you must feel. It's the ephemeral nature of live opera which makes it so compelling.

Hope you can still see DD in L'elisir. She'll make a fab Norina.


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

Oh, Countesse, what a shame...I feel the exact same way in my family with the exception of my brother who truly gets and loves it but even then doesn't memorize any opus numbers or listings or keys; it can be very frustrating. You're sweet to say you're not mad...I know I'd be...hope you get to see them anyway. :kiss:


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## rgz (Mar 6, 2010)

Aw  I'm going to the Met in March, could have had a mini-TC meetup  What date is the interview, do you know?


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## HarpsichordConcerto (Jan 1, 2010)

Maybe you need to get to know Mum better. But I thought after at least a couple of decades, one would. (I assume you are at least in your early twenties if not older).


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

rgz said:


> Aw  I'm going to the Met in March, could have had a mini-TC meetup  What date is the interview, do you know?


Its on the 19th there is plenty of information on the opera news website! Oh if you go you'll have to tell me all about it!


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

HarpsichordConcerto said:


> Maybe you need to get to know Mum better. But I thought after at least a couple of decades, one would. (I assume you are at least in your early twenties if not older).


:lol:You would think a few decades would do it. I'm 19, am turning 20 in march. OH meeting Diana would've been the best birthday present ever! Well I'm determined to get us to the opera house when Diana performs even if its standing room only! I really think if I can get mom to watch a live opera she'll become hooked like I did.


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## Grosse Fugue (Mar 3, 2010)

There is hope yet. When I went to the Met last April to see Le Comte Ory ,with Juan Diego Florez. Diana Damrau and Joyce Didonato, I was able to have pictures taken with all three at the stage door after. I was even able to talk with Joyce. Hopefully you could still do something like that.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

It will be great if you can get your mom to catch some of your enthusiasm for opera. Sometimes, though, one of the hardest things to accept (for me, anyway) is that people you care about won't always share your great passions in life. If you think about it, it's only fair--they probably have preoccupations of their own that do nothing for you.

If it comes to such an impasse, then, you just gotta' love them for what you *can* share together and look elsewhere for people who understand your interests. 

That's where Talkclassical comes in.


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## MAuer (Feb 6, 2011)

I'm so sorry this has happened and can certainly understand how disappointed you must feel. But there may still be hope. As Grosse Fugue pointed out, you can always wait for DD by the stage entrance if you attend a performance in which she sings. You'd probably have a pretty good chance of meeting her and perhaps having her sign your program. After the snafu with the dates, your mom shouldn't begrudge you an extra 15-20 minutes to meet your favorite singer.

You are sweet to say that you're not mad. Me, I'd slip something in Ma's Thanksgiving cranberry sauce. :devil:


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

amfortas said:


> It will be great if you can get your mom to catch some of your enthusiasm for opera. Sometimes, though, one of the hardest things to accept (for me, anyway) is that people you care about won't always share your great passions in life. If you think about it, it's only fair--they probably have preoccupations of their own that do nothing for you.
> 
> If it comes to such an impasse, then, you just gotta' love them for what you *can* share together and look elsewhere for people who understand your interests.
> 
> That's where Talkclassical comes in.


 Yes! Exactly why I started this thread! Thank you


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

@MAuer:

Yeah a few extra mintues by the stage door aren't _too_ much to ask, right? Oh I'm getting excited again, but I've learned my lesson! Let it be known that while it is exciting that I may still meet Diana I fully understand that it is not definite and therefore I am not getting my hopes up. There, woo I feel much better now, I'm really glad I made this thread!

Thanks everybody, a little bit of sympathy really goes a long way.


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## rgz (Mar 6, 2010)

CountessAdele said:


> Its on the 19th there is plenty of information on the opera news website! Oh if you go you'll have to tell me all about it!


Ah I am going to the showing on the 16th. Had planned to fly out the 17th, not sure if I'll be able to stretch it 2 or 3 extra days.

I'll certainly wait at the stage door to meet Ms. Damrau, as she is literally what got me interested in opera to begin with! I'll be sure to tell her you say hi, so you'll have that going for you even if all else fails


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

rgz said:


> Ah I am going to the showing on the 16th. Had planned to fly out the 17th, not sure if I'll be able to stretch it 2 or 3 extra days.
> 
> I'll certainly wait at the stage door to meet Ms. Damrau, as she is literally what got me interested in opera to begin with! I'll be sure to tell her you say hi, so you'll have that going for you even if all else fails


Ah! That would be wonderful! I'll just get my thrill vicariously through you . It's enough for me!

Oh by the way my mom has changed her mind yet again, it seems we are now going in April, and Diana will not be there in April to my knowlege, which is disappointing but I'm not as upset as I think I would've been had I not made this thread. Anyway even this new date is tentative, so I think I'm going to have to put my foot down, take charge, set a definate date, and then _move on_!


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

CountessAdele said:


> Oh by the way my mom has changed her mind yet again, it seems we are now going in April, and Diana will not be there in April to my knowlege, which is disappointing but I'm not as upset as I think I would've been had I not made this thread. Anyway even this new date is tentative, so I think I'm going to have to put my foot down, take charge, set a definate date, and then _move on_!


I'm not trying to cause a family rift, CountessAdele, but is there any way you can take a trip to New York on your *own*, at a time you prefer?

I realize that finances are a big issue, and maybe you wouldn't want this to be anything other than a family outing. Still, it has to be frustrating that so much of your planning depends on another person who isn't into opera nearly as much as you are.


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

amfortas said:


> I'm not trying to cause a family rift, CountessAdele, but is there any way you can take a trip to New York on your *own*, at a time you prefer?
> 
> I realize that finances are a big issue, and maybe you wouldn't want this to be anything other than a family outing. Still, it has to be frustrating that so much of your planning depends on another person who isn't into opera nearly as much as you are.


It _is_ frustrating, and you know I thought about it, but this was supposed to be a mother-daughter NY trip before it became an opera-broadway trip. Also I've never taken a trip to another state on my own before. I'd like to but I don't know what my dad would say to that, he's very protective and a _little_ bit paranoid:lol:.

Hmmm I could suggest that for my birthday I go up to NY on my own (or if they insist maybe I could drag one of my brothers along) and that way I could get tickets to elixer _and_ the live interview! And then we could have our mother-daughter trip in the warmer months!

That would be wonderful! Hmm I'm emailing mom right after I finish this post!


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

CountessAdele said:


> Hmm I'm emailing mom right after I finish this post!


Oh oh! Someone actually taking me up on a suggestion! This *can't* end well! 

Seriously, I hope you and your family find an arrangement that works for you. A young person with such a passion for opera should have every chance to cultivate it.


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

amfortas said:


> Oh oh! Someone actually taking me up on a suggestion! This *can't* end well!


It's ok, I'm not getting my hopes again! It can't hurt to suggest it though right? I just sent a very long email to my mom explaining that I'm old enough to travel on my own. Also that the mother-daughter trip would be better in the summer (this I don't think will need any selling).

...Man I hate waiting!


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

CountessAdele said:


> It's ok, I'm not getting my hopes again! It can't hurt to suggest it though right? I just sent a very long email to my mom explaining that I'm old enough to travel on my own. Also that the mother-daughter trip would be better in the summer (this I don't think will need any selling).
> 
> ...Man I hate waiting!


Just bear in mind that for us parents, "I'm old enough to do it on my own" can raise mixed feelings. Of course we want you to grow up and become more independent. But still, each step in that process can feel at first like a bit of a rejection.

Be prepared to give your mom lots of love and reassurance to help her through this difficult transition.


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## CountessAdele (Aug 25, 2011)

Wooo I've had a hellova day. I got so stressed about exams I started crying over my math homework. I'm fine now after a looooonng talk with mom, she calmed me down and suddenly Diana didn't seem so important anymore. She and I have been talking about the trip and we _finally_ decided on a month, February, the month we had in the first place . She told me that it would terrify her if I went to NY on my own, so of course I said it's alright, that I wouldn't start going on trips by myself yet. In the end I emailed her all the performance dates for the month of Feb. and told her to pick whatever day is best for her, whether Diana is in it or not we'll have fun and there will be plenty of opportunities to see Diana live in the future. Hmm maybe I could convince my dad to take me to Germany. I think after I get back from the trip I'll post here about the opera I see, whatever it may be:lol:.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

CountessAdele said:


> Wooo I've had a hellova day . . .


Sorry school has been so stressful, but I'm glad you had that talk with your mom and worked out a plan for the trip.

From what you've said before, though, you may want to keep in touch to make sure she follows through.


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your parents and they must love you very much.

I'm glad you've sorted out your trip together.


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