# Which Composer Would Make the Best Spouse?



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

I suppose this is a question mostly for the female TCers, but the men can chime in on their opinions as well.

Mozart would have been cheery.
Bach stern
Beethoven mad.
Ravel/Debussy seem like romantic types, at least their music says that!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Well, everybody on TC probably knows my answer to this! I'm in love with Beethoven and I wish that I could have married him...too bad that I was born 200 years too late for that. I know that his personality was abrasive, but I think he could get better with some therapy and a loving wife!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

How stern was Bach? He had a whole brood of kids, didn't he? Of course, there was no Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel or Cable News to occupy his late nights. That's an important factor.

He also didn't have all the holidays we have now to occupy our time.

Back in Bach's time, there was no Festivus like for the rest of us.


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Well, everybody on TC probably knows my answer to this! I'm in love with Beethoven and I wish that I could have married him...too bad that I was born 200 years too late for that. I know that his personality was abrasive, but I think he could get better with some therapy and a loving wife!


He just needed to be understood, and you would have been the perfect woman for that!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

hpowders said:


> How stern was Bach? He had a whole brood of kids, didn't he? Of course, there was no Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel or Cable News to occupy his late nights. That's an important factor.


Also, there was no Talk Classical website to distract him from his work! Otherwise, he would have spent all day arguing in threads about "Bach Vs. Handel: which one is greater?"


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

hpowders said:


> How stern was Bach? He had a whole brood of kids, didn't he? Of course, there was no Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel or Cable News to occupy his late nights. That's an important factor.


He just comes off as stern to me, again, I'm letting the music and pictures I've seen do the explaining of personality types.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Mozart doesn't seem too crazy, but there were questions about his fidelity (though, to be fair, there were even bigger questions about his wife's fidelity). Beethoven, well, what more needs to be said! Sorry about that, Bettina!  Ravel reportedly liked the brothels. Some spouses may not have any problems with that, but some might.

I'm going with Bach here. The 20 kids shows that he knows what he's doing in the bedroom! He can hold down a job and there's no doubting his talents! He might end up in jail a time or two, but who's perfect? :lol:


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Bettina said:


> Also, there was no Talk Classical website to distract him from his work! Otherwise, he would have spent all day arguing in threads about "Bach Vs. Handel: which one is greater?"


Yes! Yes! I've had no kids since joining TC. That is an important factor. Yes!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Captainnumber36 said:


> He just comes off as stern to me, again, I'm letting the music and pictures I've seen do the explaining of personality types.


Well he was a bit deficient in the musical humor department, granted.


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Mozart doesn't seem too crazy, but there were questions about his fidelity (though, to be fair, there were even bigger questions about his wife's fidelity). Beethoven, well, what more needs to be said! Sorry about that, Bettina!  Ravel reportedly liked the brothels. Some spouses may not have any problems with that, but some might.
> 
> I'm going with Bach here. *The 20 kids shows that he knows what he's doing in the bedroom! * He can hold down a job and there's no doubting his talents! He might end up in jail a time or two, but who's perfect? :lol:


Yeah, but he might not know what to do if he suddenly found himself married to a man! But maybe the technique isn't that different...


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

OP: I would think for the ladies, Brahms. He would remain emotionally distant and never bother you at night. Posting indefinitely, a bonus.


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

hpowders said:


> OP: I would think fior the ladies, Brahms. He would remain emotionally distant and never bother you at night. Posting indefinitely, a bonus.


Yes, he would definitely be posting nonstop in the "Brahms vs. Wagner" threads!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Bettina said:


> Yes, he would definitely be posting nonstop in the "Brahms vs. Wagner" threads!


No. I meant the woman could post indefinitely and he would never bother her.

The ideal mate.


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

hpowders said:


> No. I meant the woman could post indefinitely and he would never bother her.


I guess they would need separate computers in that case, because they would both be posting nonstop! Maybe they would even have conversations on TC rather than talking in person. :lol:


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

hpowders said:


> OP: I would think for the ladies, Brahms. He would remain emotionally distant and never bother you at night. Posting indefinitely, a bonus.


Women supposedly like men who can cook. I don't know if Brahms could cook, but surely a woman could have pulled some old, uneaten wienerschnitzel out of that beard!


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I guess they would need separate computers in that case, because they would both be posting nonstop! Maybe they would even have conversations on TC rather than talking in person. :lol:


The old fashioned way of "texting"? haha. Gosh, this blending of time and available technology is fun!


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Carlo Gesualdo has not been mentioned. What about him? :lol:


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

hpowders said:


> No. I meant the woman could post indefinitely and he would never bother her.
> 
> The ideal mate.


Well, by that criteria, Tchaikovsky would be perfect!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Carlo Gesualdo has not been mentioned. What about him? :lol:


I think he would only be interested in me for a few days a month! :lol:


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Klassik said:


> Well, by that criteria, Tchaikovsky would be perfect!


Not for me, he wouldn't.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

hpowders said:


> Not for me, he wouldn't.


You're looking for some Peter in the bed?


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

Gershwin--Manhattan apartment and tons of money. Just don't sign a prenup.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Klassik said:


> You're looking for some Peter in the bed?


Peter can share my bad as long as he isn't a wolf.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I think he would only be interested in me for a few days a month! :lol:


He'd love your polka dotted granny panties! :lol:


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Klassik said:


> He'd love your polka dotted granny panties! :lol:


Awww, I think granny panties are cute! Maybe cuz' I love my Granny so much, but she's quite fashionable, and no one can talk bad about Bill Clinton to her!


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

What about Chopin? The man who made so much romance with the piano? Anyone know what he was like as a person?


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

If I was a woman it would have been Bernstein, not demanding as far as the public rumours go.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Pugg said:


> If I was a woman it would have been Bernstein, not demanding as far as the public rumours go.


...except for that whole thing where he left his wife for a man in San Francisco!


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Klassik said:


> ...except for that whole thing where he left his wife for a man in San Francisco!


Big alimony and living my own life.


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Pugg said:


> Big alimony and living my own life.


:lol:

I love this thread!


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Pugg said:


> Big alimony and living my own life.


Touché! :tiphat: I just hope you live longer than she did after Lenny left!


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## Weston (Jul 11, 2008)

I know nothing about her, but if Unsuk Chin is as interesting as her music, no contest.


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Weston said:


> I know nothing about her, but if Unsuk Chin is as interesting as her music, no contest.


Pretty lady! I wouldn't mind marrying an asian woman, especially if she can play music!


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## Sloe (May 9, 2014)

Weston said:


> I know nothing about her, but if Unsuk Chin is as interesting as her music, no contest.


She is married to an 18 year younger finnish pianist.


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## EdwardBast (Nov 25, 2013)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Awww, I think granny panties are cute! Maybe cuz' I love my Granny so much, but she's quite fashionable, and no one can talk bad about Bill Clinton to her!


In a thread full of disturbing posts, this one wins the prize. So far.


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## mathisdermaler (Mar 29, 2017)

Alban Berg is the most handsome composer (and brilliant too), but based on a documentary I saw I know he was cheating on his wife with like 20 women, so I would have to pass.


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## mathisdermaler (Mar 29, 2017)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Awww, I think granny panties are cute! Maybe cuz' I love my Granny so much, but she's quite fashionable, and no one can talk bad about Bill Clinton to her!


Dude, what the heck? :lol:


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## Rach Man (Aug 2, 2016)

Does anyone know if Grace Kelly wrote any symphonies? Operas? Sonatas?









If so, she would be the one that I choose. :lol:


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## mathisdermaler (Mar 29, 2017)

Rach Man said:


> Does anyone know if Grace Kelly wrote any symphonies? Operas? Sonatas?
> 
> View attachment 95409
> 
> ...


Oh my god, I love her too (this is very off topic but let me indulge).











Just to stay on topic, I will say that I think Schumann would make a good husband (based on his gentle, sweet, gorgeous music).


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Klassik said:


> Women supposedly like men who can cook. I don't know if Brahms could cook, but surely a woman could have pulled some old, uneaten wienerschnitzel out of that beard!


The few photos I have seen of Brahms, a treadmill would be more apropos than a frying pan.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

mathisdermaler said:


> Oh my god, I love her too (this is very off topic but let me indulge).
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah. The fact that he was insane? Women can overlook that. Minor stuff (no pun intended).

On eHarmony.com, one would find much worse...much, much worse.


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## Sloe (May 9, 2014)

Rach Man said:


> Does anyone know if Grace Kelly wrote any symphonies? Operas? Sonatas?
> 
> View attachment 95409
> 
> ...


I prefer this member of the Grimaldi family:


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

Klassik said:


> Carlo Gesualdo has not been mentioned. What about him? :lol:


I think he'd be great for one of my exes, come to think of it.


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## EdwardBast (Nov 25, 2013)

mathisdermaler said:


> Just to stay on topic, I will say that I think Schumann would make a good husband (based on his gentle, sweet, gorgeous music).


He would top my list of whoring syphilitics!


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## wkasimer (Jun 5, 2017)

hpowders said:


> The few photos I have seen of Brahms, a treadmill would be more apropos than a frying pan.


Brahms was considered fairly handsome as a young man:


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

wkasimer said:


> Brahms was considered fairly handsome as a young man:
> 
> View attachment 95414


Johannes really let himself go! 










But, hey, he wasn't the only one!


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## mathisdermaler (Mar 29, 2017)

hpowders said:


> Yeah. The fact that he was insane? Women can overlook that. Minor stuff (no pun intended).
> 
> On eHarmony.com, one would find much worse...much, much worse.


I never knew he went insane


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

mathisdermaler said:


> I never knew he went insane


He spent his last days in an asylum.


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## Weston (Jul 11, 2008)

Sloe said:


> She is married to an 18 year younger finnish pianist.


Not at all surprising. She may become the Ligeti of the 21st century in my opinion (meaning I think she's brilliant).


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## Chronochromie (May 17, 2014)

EdwardBast said:


> He would top my list of whoring syphilitics!


Did he really have syphilis though? I thought that wasn't really known, as opposed to say Schubert.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

wkasimer said:


> Brahms was considered fairly handsome as a young man:
> 
> View attachment 95414


Interesting: yes, handsome: no.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I would guess that Haydn would make a good spouse. Unlike Mozart, he knew how to "play the game" and would have been an excellent provider, because of it. You wouldn't starve with Haydn as a husband.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

hpowders said:


> I would guess that Haydn would make a good spouse. Unlike Mozart, he knew how to "play the game" and would have been an excellent provider, because of it. You wouldn't starve with Haydn as a husband.


Haydn could bring in the money, but his marriage was a disaster. Maybe it wasn't his fault though, it's hard to say. Haydn wasn't a particularly attractive looking man by the reports I've read, but somehow having a lot of money usually makes up for that! :lol:


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Ms. Haydn: "FJ, all your scribbling does little except give me paper to wrap my fish. Why don't you talk to Herr Scheisskopf down the street. He's looking for somebody to shovel donkey dung. At least it's an honest living!"


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Antonín Dvořák would probably be a great choice for someone looking to marry a man except for one thing. I would not want to marry a man, but even if I did, I would say that Dvořák's eyes kind of spook me a bit. Sometimes I can't even watch a video with Harnoncourt conducting because of his eyes!


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

Rach Man said:


> Does anyone know if Grace Kelly wrote any symphonies? Operas? Sonatas?
> 
> View attachment 95409
> 
> ...


She would sleep with studio execs to further her acting career from what I heard.

Not sure about a good spouse, but Borodin was a great guy with admirable achievements. He was a world class chemist, plus taught medical courses for women, and pormoted women's rights.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Klassik said:


> Haydn could bring in the money, but his marriage was a disaster. Maybe it wasn't his fault though, it's hard to say. Haydn wasn't a particularly attractive looking man by the reports I've read, but somehow having a lot of money usually makes up for that! :lol:


He still needed to meet the right girl. Of course his marriage was a disaster. eHarmony.com was hundreds of years from being able to help poor Haydn out.


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## EdwardBast (Nov 25, 2013)

Chronochromie said:


> Did he really have syphilis though? I thought that wasn't really known, as opposed to say Schubert.


It isn't known for sure. Speculation is all over the map but that is one leading theory, along with side effects of syphilis treatment. Diagnoses of various "psychoses" seem dubious given late onset, but not out of the question. Physical brain defect also possible.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

mathisdermaler said:


> I never knew he went insane


Brahms could have pounced, after Robert died, since Clara was available (she was only 37 when Robert died) and she and Brahms had been close, but "emotional support" and "serious relationships" apparently weren't Brahms' strong suits.


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## Judith (Nov 11, 2015)

hpowders said:


> Brahms could have pounced, after Robert died, since Clara was available (she was only 37 when Robert died) and she and Brahms had been close, but "emotional support" and "serious relationships" apparently weren't Brahms' strong suits.


Think Brahms lost interest when Robert died!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Judith said:


> Think Brahms lost interest when Robert died!


Yes. Clara was no longer being kept at a "distance".

Many of Brahms' wistful late piano pieces seem to express his loneliness and "what might have been".


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Brahms was not alone in not being able to manage a normal, domesticated life while composing great music.

Think of how many Beethoven and Brahms works we may not have had, if the "distraction" of marriage entered into the equation.

I mean, vacuuming the living room and painting the guest bedroom take away valuable time from working within the Lydian Mode.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Klassik said:


> Antonín Dvořák would probably be a great choice for someone looking to marry a man except for one thing. I would not want to marry a man, but even if I did, I would say that Dvořák's eyes kind of spook me a bit. Sometimes I can't even watch a video with Harnoncourt conducting because of his eyes!


Dvorak? Yeah. Looks aren't everything.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Judith said:


> Think Brahms lost interest when Robert died!


I love this quote:



> Perhaps emboldened by his experience with Clara, Brahms got himself a girlfriend, the soprano Agathe von Siebold, *but he misjudged and grabbed at her behind some bushes within eyeshot of Clara*. As Swafford tells it, Clara stormed off, packed up her children, and left. (Brahms actually proposed to Agathe, and she agreed to marry him, but he dumped her before long, at which point one wonders if Clara saw the beginnings of a pattern.)


The wording of that sentence is, well, interesting! It makes you wonder if Brahms was a fan of bush!


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Something about Bizet is very alluring to me. Something about all the Frenchmen... I can't really say. Behind all that macho man Toreador and Farandole business, Bizet looks like a total softie.

His wife Genevieve was known to be "nervously unstable", before and all throughout their marriage, therefore unable to provide Bizet with some needed emotional support. Some suggest that as a result Bizet may've channeled some of his romantic frustrations into Carmen. Huh, you wonder how, Carmen is just the most innocent of operas... 
If I had to choose (maybe if I didn't even HAVE to choose) I could adore Georges Bizet... and all his curls.... 

If you've seen Bettina around TC and witnessed her opinion on Beethoven, substitute Bizet for me and we're pretty similar. :lol:


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Glazunov would have been terrible spouse boohooo  And he knew it too, that's why he didn't marry. He saved some poor woman's soul by not doing that.

On the flip side, from reading memoirs and stuff, I think Rimsky-Korsakov or Borodin were good spouses to their wives. Nikolai Andreyevich and Nadezhda were definitely a magnificent couple.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> If you've seen Bettina around TC and witnessed her opinion on Beethoven, substitute Bizet for me and we're pretty similar. :lol:


"_ would willingly risk my life for a friend, but would think myself an idiot if I lost a hair on my head on account of a woman."

Link

Bizet got married after that so he probably stopped worrying about his hair! :lol:

Bizet may not have had the B.O. and breath problems that Beethoven had, but he was a heavy smoker (which was not an unusual thing for composers within a certain time period or Frenchmen in general probably).

When I was an undergrad in college, I was involved with a beautiful Italian woman. One time, on one of her visits to Houston (or maybe this was when she came to college with me), she purchased a large amount of French cigarettes at the duty free shop at the airport (Gauloises I think). OMG, those things smelled terrible! I was used to people giving me winks and nods about being with such a beautiful woman, but the looks people were giving me when she smoked those were that of, "dude, your woman stinks!" I never told her anything about her stink, but I was so glad when she switched back to her normal Camels.  As a non-smoker myself, I can say that this was my "What it might be like to be with Beethoven/Bizet" experience! Of course, Beethoven probably smelled way worse! :lol:_


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Klassik said:


> "_ would willingly risk my life for a friend, but would think myself an idiot if I lost a hair on my head on account of a woman."
> 
> Link
> 
> ...


_

Good story! Yup, I knew he was a heavy smoker, but I guess the ideal mate really can't have everything you're looking for...

Yes, he was definitely known to be very cynical regarding women in his earlier years, but many men are like that, no? We're an... interesting species to take on.  To be honest, I find a bit of cynicism and pride attractive - something about young males who don't fall for every other thing they see, but rather scorn love in the absence of it, makes the experience ironically more fun and passionate, and in my opinion makes them seem more masculine.

After reading the passage you linked, it's pretty hypocritical he was such a harsh judge toward his cousin when he married a peasant carrying his child - considering Bizet fathered a child with his mother's housemaid when he was 24!_


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> Yes, he was definitely known to be very cynical regarding women in his earlier years, but many men are like that, no? We're an... interesting species to take on.  To be honest, I find a bit of cynicism and pride attractive - something about young males who don't fall for every other thing they see, but rather scorn love in the absence of it, makes the experience ironically more fun and passionate, and in my opinion makes them seem more masculine.


I've certainly come to realize how some women find it attractive to get into a relationship with a man who "cannot be married." I guess it's part of a woman's thought process that they can be the one to change the man and make them who they want them to be! :lol: Women are accused of wanting to play games in relationships, but some guys know this and act like they aren't the marriage type. Unfortunately for Bettina and anyone who loves Brahms, I don't think Beethoven and Brahms were playing games when they behaved as if they could not be tamed!

--

Dear women,

There's nothing you can *ever* do to make me want to take my underwear off!

Sincerely,

Klassik

We'll see how this works!


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Klassik said:


> I've certainly come to realize how some women find it attractive to get into a relationship with a man who "cannot be married." I guess it's part of a woman's thought process that they can be the one to change the man and make them who they want them to be! :lol: Women are accused of wanting to play games in relationships, but some guys know this and act like they aren't the marriage type. Unfortunately for Bettina and anyone who loves Brahms, I don't think Beethoven and Brahms were playing games when they behaved as if they could not be tamed!
> 
> --
> 
> ...


Dearest Klassik,

It is with great exaltation that I report that your resolve is a dear happiness to women. Your proposed defiance seems more than somewhat unnecessary, considering that no woman - or for that matter, man or animal - may feel attraction to you, fleeting or otherwise. For a while I have felt this was the elephant in the room, but then again, the elephant would not be attracted to you either. In the words of Beatrice from a certain Shakespeare work, I'd rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me - in other words, I'm relieved you are closed to romantic experiences, because the success of such escapades on your account would be about as likely as Mahler composing an eleventh symphony.

But no matter! Perhaps you could... adopt cats.

Sincerely,

Your gregarious confidante,

MS (aka A)

see, my dear Watson, it works both ways - it's just that the men give in first.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> see, my dear Watson, it works both ways - it's just that the men give in first.


You're right, you're certainly right! It was worth a try though! :lol:


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Minor Sixthist said:


> Dearest Klassik,
> 
> It is with great exaltation that I report that your resolve is a dear happiness to women. Your proposed defiance seems more than somewhat unnecessary, considering that no woman - or for that matter, man or animal - may feel attraction to you, fleeting or otherwise. For a while I have felt this was the elephant in the room, but then again, the elephant would not be attracted to you either. In the words of Beatrice from a certain Shakespeare work, I'd rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me - in other words, I'm relieved you are closed to romantic experiences, because the success of such escapades on your account would be about as likely as Mahler composing an eleventh symphony.
> 
> ...


Please do a pencil drawing of Klassik, so I can see what he looks like.


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

hpowders said:


> Please do a pencil drawing of Klassik, so I can see what he looks like.


I will gladly do so as soon as I finish Bizet - and more importantly, as soon as he provides a reference image!


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

We are letting ourselves go wild in this thread, it's good for the soul to do so!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Captainnumber36 said:


> We are letting ourselves go wild in this thread, it's good for the soul to do so!


Yes, this thread is a great outlet for me to unleash my secret desires! I'm not able to talk about this stuff anywhere else...I certainly can't tell my students that I would like to seduce Beethoven! The parents would immediately make the kids quit lessons if I said anything like that.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Klassic.............................


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Klassic.............................
> View attachment 95447


Fantastic representation of the man! A real likeness, bringing out his true personality. Bravo Eddie!


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> I will gladly do so as soon as I finish Bizet - and more importantly, as soon as he provides a reference image!


Like the debut of a great classical piece, I feel like posting my picture here would cause a riot! :lol:



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Klassic.............................
> View attachment 95447


Not bad, not bad. Of course, that would only be accurate if I have pants on. That's not often! Here's a more accurate depiction:











Captainnumber36 said:


> Fantastic representation of the man! A real likeness, bringing out his true personality. Bravo Eddie!


It's really not that far off! I am pretty skinny! The best way to describe myself is imagine a combination of Joaquin Phoenix, Jay Leno, and Jean-Philippe Rameau! :lol:


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Klassic.............................
> View attachment 95447


Hmm... I don't know if I could pull this off.

It's just so delicate, so tempered... such perfection. Such beauty... a true picture of Dorian Gray. Carmen must pitch roses at you on the daily.

Trying to render it may detract from its essence...


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Yes, this thread is a great outlet for me to unleash my secret desires! I'm not able to talk about this stuff anywhere else...I certainly can't tell my students that I would like to seduce Beethoven! The parents would immediately make the kids quit lessons if I said anything like that.


Is it his music that draws you into him or do you fancy his looks? You could find creative ways to seduce his music!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Is it his music that draws you into him or do you fancy his looks? You could find creative ways to seduce his music!


It's mostly his music...nobody really knows for sure how he looked anyway, and the portraits might not be very accurate. What we _do _know for sure, however, is that his music was brilliant!


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Bettina said:


> It's mostly his music...nobody really knows for sure how he looked anyway, and the portraits might not be very accurate. What we _do _know for sure, however, is that his music was brilliant!


I could draw you a picture if you like - I'm sure I could do a good likeness!


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I could draw you a picture if you like - I'm sure I could do a good likeness!


I'd love to see how you do a Beethoven, do it!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I could draw you a picture if you like - I'm sure I could do a good likeness!


Sounds good! A Historically Accurate Picture (HIP) would help make my fantasies feel more realistic!


----------



## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

All your naked composers, right here! Well-researched I'm sure. Caution: Full frontal stuff.

http://www.graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

KenOC said:


> All your naked composers, right here! Well-researched I'm sure. Caution: Full frontal stuff.
> 
> http://www.graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


Beethoven looks ripped. Mozart looks like a dying old man.


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

KenOC said:


> All your naked composers, right here! Well-researched I'm sure. Caution: Full frontal stuff.
> 
> http://www.graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


Some of those are seriously disturbing. I hope that Beethoven wasn't actually that hairy! On the bright side, however, at least it means that he probably wouldn't expect me to be perfectly groomed. I can get away with skipping my Brazilian wax sessions! :lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Bettina said:


> Sounds good! A Historically Accurate Picture (HIP) would help make my fantasies feel more realistic!


Here you go HIP Beethoven- took much care and artistic effort to produce this.......


----------



## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I just got a similar page from eHarmony.com. I'm asking for a refund. Not happy!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Here you go HIP Beethoven- took much care and artistic effort to produce this.......
> 
> View attachment 95449


What a cool cat...he totally has some gangsta style goin' on there!


----------



## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

hpowders said:


> I just got a similar page from eHarmony.com. I'm asking for a refund. Not happy!


They told me I filled out "classical music" as a primary interest and the naked composers were a match for me. No refund.


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Here you go HIP Beethoven- took much care and artistic effort to produce this.......
> 
> View attachment 95449


Beethoven was a midget? No wonder he initially fell for Napoleon!


----------



## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Beethoven was a midget? No wonder he initially fell for Napoleon!


The term is "little person". It takes a big man to admit a mistake.


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

hpowders said:


> The term is "little person". It takes a big man to admit a mistake.


I'm pretty short myself, so I feel I have the right to use the term! :lol:


----------



## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Beethoven was a midget? No wonder he initially fell for Napoleon!


 I prefer rum cake.


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Beethoven looks ripped. Mozart looks like a dying old man.


I'm actually not incredibly disappointed that there was no Bizet. If I didn't like what I saw, all my ideations could still exist and be totally valid. That's a sort of beauty only I could covet. The man is mine.


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> I'm actually not incredibly disappointed that there was no Bizet. If I didn't like what I saw, all my ideations could still exist and be totally valid. That's a sort of beauty only I could covet. The man is mine.


I like the sole female composer on that display! Even though her face looks masculine.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Zappa's is the best


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Zappa's is the best


Not to be crude, but I also think he's the only circumcised man pictured in the display, which would make sense.

Never mind, there seems to be a few more. Coltrane is as well as a few others, I'm surprised they added Jazz artists like Coltrane, I don't really consider that composition, unless we are talking about music such as The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady (which I don't really like all that much anyways).


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

KenOC said:


> All your naked composers, right here! Well-researched I'm sure. Caution: Full frontal stuff.
> 
> http://www.graphixnow.com/artist/naked_composers.html


I would have been okay if I didn't see that drawing of Handel!  He must have eaten too much spotted dick while in England! It could be worse though, at least Rossini isn't on there!

That drawing of Mahler is of him fully aroused! 



Bettina said:


> Some of those are seriously disturbing. I hope that Beethoven wasn't actually that hairy! On the bright side, however, at least it means that he probably wouldn't expect me to be perfectly groomed. *I can get away with skipping my Brazilian wax sessions!* :lol:






hpowders said:


> I just got a similar page from eHarmony.com. I'm asking for a refund. Not happy!


That's okay, h. I'd want a refund too. I know it's not the same without a nude sketch of ole' Klassik. All those guys might as well be Orville Redenbacher compared to me! :devil:


----------



## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Can we have a separate dating corner as well?


----------



## Casebearer (Jan 19, 2016)

Why? If you want to meet me, just say so.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

I'd suggest a nightclub in Bonn


----------



## Casebearer (Jan 19, 2016)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Here you go HIP Beethoven- took much care and artistic effort to produce this.......
> 
> View attachment 95449


He looks like he forgot where he's parked his space ship.


----------



## Casebearer (Jan 19, 2016)

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I'd suggest a nightclub in Bonn


Ha ha, you know you're way around in these parts that are suitable for peace talks.


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Pugg said:


> Can we have a separate dating corner as well?


I'll follow you in. And then Klassik will follow me, and we'll have a nicely populated forum. Though I'm afraid no one will follow you, Klass. Sad! :devil:


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

I'm sorry that I can't join the dating corner. I'm saving myself for Beethoven. At some point in the near future, I'm sure that scientists will invent a time machine, and then I can travel back to his time and date him (hopefully it'll soon lead to marriage)!


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> I'll follow you in. And then Klassik will follow me, and we'll have a nicely populated forum. Though I'm afraid no one will follow you, Klass. Sad! :devil:


But I've been abstaining from beans lately! Surely someone will follow me in, I was told recently on TC that I have a nice tush!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> But I've been abstaining from beans lately! Surely someone will follow me in, I was told recently on TC that I have a nice tush!


I wish I could follow you in, but I don't want to cheat on Ludwig! :lol:


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I'm sorry that I can't join the dating corner. I'm saving myself for Beethoven. At some point in the near future, I'm sure that scientists will invent a time machine, and then I can travel back to his time and date him (hopefully it'll soon lead to marriage)!


Do you live near Twin Pines Mall? There's a crazy scientist there with a stainless steel time machine. Of course, you'll probably end up with Johann van Beethoven instead of Ludwig! :lol:



Bettina said:


> I wish I could follow you in, but I don't want to cheat on Ludwig! :lol:


We'll be okay, Ludwig won't hear us fooling around! :devil:


----------



## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I wish I could follow you in, but I don't want to cheat on Ludwig! :lol:


I don't know how attractive you are, but even if you seduce Ludwig, I doubt you can get him to settle down. He will probably think "Now I know how that feels like! Ok, back to that Sonata..."


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Do you live near Twin Pines Mall? There's a crazy scientist there with a stainless steel time machine. Of course, you'll probably end up with Johann van Beethoven instead of Ludwig! :lol:
> 
> We'll be okay, Ludwig won't hear us fooling around! :devil:


OK, but you'd have to dress up as Beethoven - I wouldn't be able to get turned on otherwise! You'll have to wear a big crazy wig, and use an ear trumpet, and carry a composition notebook...the whole works!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Phil loves classical said:


> I don't know how attractive you are, but even if you seduce Ludwig, I doubt you can get him to settle down. He will probably think "Now I know how that feels like! Ok, back to that Sonata..."


I've already figured out some positions (like doggy style) where he can actually continue composing during the act itself. I'm sure he'll be more interested in sex if he can multitask! :lol:


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Klassik said:


> Do you live near Twin Pines Mall? There's a crazy scientist there with a stainless steel time machine. Of course, you'll probably end up with Johann van Beethoven instead of Ludwig! :lol:
> 
> We'll be okay, Ludwig won't hear us fooling around! :devil:


DEAFinitely not!

Of course I was just teasing. I would follow you in, gladly. Never forget the sole reason women tease men, which I'm sure you could infer just fine 

*As long as Bizet wasn't aware.


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I've already figured out some positions (like doggy style) where he can actually continue composing during the act itself. I'm sure he'll be more interested in sex if he can multitask! :lol:


Whoa, TC gonewild!! we might just have to put our powdered wigs back on and compose some second species counterpoint harmonies to purify...


----------



## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I've already figured out some positions (like doggy style) where he can actually continue composing during the act itself. I'm sure he'll be more interested in sex if he can multitask! :lol:


You're starting to convince me. Sounds like you thought this through quite well. :clap:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Casebearer said:


> He looks like he forgot where he's parked his space ship.


lol, yes I believe you are correct - he loaned it to Stockhausen for the day.


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> OK, but you'd have to dress up as Beethoven - I wouldn't be able to get turned on otherwise! You'll have to wear a big crazy wig, and use an ear trumpet, and carry a composition notebook...the whole works!


Wig? No problem! Us Baroque/early Classical era fans have no problems with wigs! The ear trumpet? Hmm, that's a little odd since my hearing is fine. Ok, I'll do it, but only if you blow my horn! :trp:



Bettina said:


> I've already figured out some positions (like doggy style) where he can actually continue composing during the act itself. I'm sure he'll be more interested in sex if he can multitask! :lol:


Tafelmusik - Part II! :lol:



Minor Sixthist said:


> DEAFinitely not!
> 
> Of course I was just teasing. I would follow you in, gladly. Never forget the sole reason women tease men, which I'm sure you could infer just fine
> 
> *As long as Bizet wasn't aware.


You're a real tease alright! I'm on to you! :devil:


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I'm sorry that I can't join the dating corner. I'm saving myself for Beethoven. At some point in the near future, I'm sure that scientists will invent a time machine, and then I can travel back to his time and date him (hopefully it'll soon lead to marriage)!


If you change the course of his musical output, I'm afraid we can no longer be TC buds anymore!


----------



## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I've already figured out some positions (like doggy style) where he can actually continue composing during the act itself. I'm sure he'll be more interested in sex if he can multitask! :lol:


Hopefully he will be more inspired with those climaxes on those capitulations.


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Captainnumber36 said:


> If you change the course of his musical output, I'm afraid we can no longer be TC buds anymore!


I know how important it is to give him time to compose all his great works. I'll be careful not to exhaust him too much in the bedroom!


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I know how important it is to give him time to compose all his great works. I'll be careful not to exhaust him too much in the bedroom!


If he starts composing lovey dovey music dedicated to you instead of the on edge searching for truth and beauty dark aggression that he has, I won't forgive you either!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Captainnumber36 said:


> If he starts composing lovey dovey music dedicated to you instead of the on edge searching for truth and beauty dark aggression that he has, I won't forgive you either!!!!!!!!!


Or maybe I'll love you more, since I do love Lovey Dovey romantic music like Chopin's Nocturnes!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Captainnumber36 said:


> If he starts composing lovey dovey music dedicated to you instead of the on edge searching for truth and beauty dark aggression that he has, I won't forgive you either!!!!!!!!!


I'm sure he won't be too lovey dovey. I have lots of annoying traits that will probably make him angry, and all of that can be fuel for his musical outbursts!


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I'm sure he won't be too lovey dovey. I have lots of annoying traits that will probably make him angry, and all of that can be fuel for his musical outbursts!


Well I guess you have it all figured out Mrs. Bettina Beethoven! You even have the alliteration to make it rhythmic, Ludwig would love that!


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I'm sure he won't be too lovey dovey. I have lots of annoying traits that will probably make him angry, and all of that can be fuel for his musical outbursts!


Ludwig will surely be jealous of all those diacritical composers in your umlaut book!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Well I guess you have it all figured out Mrs. Bettina Beethoven! You even have the alliteration to make it rhythmic, Ludwig would love that!


Now all I have to do is find a time machine! :lol:


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Now all I have to do is find a time machine! :lol:


Would you share in your love of music being over the love of each other?


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Now all I have to do is find a time machine! :lol:


We're back to the time machine again? I have my wig on, ear trumpets ready to go, and I even threw in a little bonus:










:lol:


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Ludwig will surely be jealous of all those diacritical composers in your umlaut book!


Yes, that was definitely one of the annoying traits that I was referring to! He would probably hate my obsession with Dvořák and Saint-Saëns, even if I explained "no, honey, I don't love them, I just love their diacritical marks."


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Would you share in your love of music being over the love of each other?


I love him because of his music (it certainly isn't for his personality!!:lol Hopefully we would be able to bond over our shared obsession with his talent! :lol:


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> We're back to the time machine again? I have my wig on, ear trumpets ready to go, and I even threw in a little bonus:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Great, I'm glad that you're all set to impersonate Ludwig, onion breath and all! Maybe you should start eating some beans again to add to the authentic aroma.

I'm happy to have you as a substitute - but let me warn you, I'll probably dump you for the real thing when the time machine gets invented.


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I love him because of his music (it certainly isn't for his personality!!:lol Hopefully we would be able to bond over our shared obsession with his talent! :lol:


So it would be like you boosting his ego all the time, would you be ok with him thinking you are subpar on the piano? (You did ask me to be your marriage counselor)


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

I hope nobody's mad if I use my time machine to make sure my Georges bases Carmen off of me. :kiss:


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Captainnumber36 said:


> So it would be like you boosting his ego all the time, would you be ok with him thinking you are subpar on the piano? (You did ask me to be your marriage counselor)


Yes, that's totally fine with me. He can give me lessons and teach me his secrets - but of course I'll never reach his heights of greatness, and I'm happy to play "second fiddle" (so to speak) to his brilliance.


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Yes, that's totally fine with me. He can give me lessons and teach me his secrets - but of course I'll never reach his heights of greatness, and I'm happy to play "second fiddle" (so to speak) to his brilliance.


Do you have a favorite piece by Beethoven that you regard above the rest? Just one?


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Minor Sixthist said:


> I hope nobody's mad if I use my time machine to make sure my Georges bases Carmen off of me. :kiss:


I think that's a great idea! Make sure to pack your best gypsy outfit in your suitcase when you get in that machine. Also remember to bring some cards and cigarettes, to complete the Carmen image.


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Do you have a favorite piece by Beethoven that you regard above the rest? Just one?


My favorite Beethoven work (actually my all-time favorite work by anybody) is his String Quartet No. 14. So mysterious and sublime! I also love his Emperor Concerto because of its sense of majesty and power.


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> My favorite Beethoven work (actually my all-time favorite work by anybody) is his String Quartet No. 14. So mysterious and sublime! I also love his Emperor Concerto because of its sense of majesty and power.


SQ 14 is going on my iPod. I already have no. 13!


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Great, I'm glad that you're all set to impersonate Ludwig, onion breath and all! Maybe you should start eating some beans again to add to the authentic aroma.
> 
> I'm happy to have you as a substitute - but let me warn you, I'll probably dump you for the real thing when the time machine gets invented.


No problem there! Can I pick the music though? I want Wellington's Victory! 



Minor Sixthist said:


> I hope nobody's mad if I use my time machine to make sure my Georges bases Carmen off of me. :kiss:


How about a transformation chamber, Urkel style? Or maybe Erkel style? I can be Bizet, Beethoven, and Klassik!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> No problem there! Can I pick the music though? I want Wellington's Victory!
> 
> How about a transformation camber, Urkel style? Or maybe Erkel style? I can be Bizet, Beethoven, and Klassik!


Wellington's Victory is a good choice...the canon shots are a perfect soundtrack for the act of...umm...shooting your canon! :devil:


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Klassik said:


> No problem there! Can I pick the music though? I want Wellington's Victory!
> 
> How about a transformation chamber, Urkel style? Or maybe Erkel style? I can be Bizet, Beethoven, and Klassik!


Sounds good, mon chou. Put on a good toreador act and we're set.


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

This thread is already up to page 10!! We're going to need multiple volumes for this, like the Current Listening Threads. Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4 of Bettina's fantasies.


----------



## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Wellington's Victory is a good choice...the canon shots are a perfect soundtrack for the act of...umm...shooting your canon! :devil:


Bettina!!!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

^I think I picked up the habit from Klassik where I refer to myself in the third person! :lol:


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Bettina!!!


I know, I'm being a very naughty girl! Ludwig ought to give me a good spanking for that! :lol:


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> Sounds good, mon chou. Put on a good toreador act and we're set.


Ooh, don't you worry! I'll waive my briefs around like I'm a bullfighter! Maybe I'll even wash them with a red rag to get the color right! :kiss:



Bettina said:


> ^I think I picked up the habit from Klassik where I refer to myself in the third person! :lol:


Klassik approves of this method!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Ooh, don't you worry! I'll waive my briefs around like I'm a bullfighter! *Maybe I'll even wash them with a red rag to get the color right!* :kiss:
> 
> Klassik approves of this method!


If you let me wear those briefs during the right time of the month, I can turn them red for you!


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> If you let me wear those briefs during the right time of the month, I can turn them red for you!


 Um...I think I'll pass on that opportunity!

:lol:


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Bettina said:


> If you let me wear those briefs during the right time of the month, I can turn them red for you!


Attention ladies and gents: could anyone call Aaron Copland?? Because this thread has truly become a rodeo. Leave it to the ladies to likely begin a TC riot. No, this is NOT a drill, and it's not a Stravinsky ballet either.


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Klassik said:


> Ooh, don't you worry! I'll waive my briefs around like I'm a bullfighter! Maybe I'll even wash them with a red rag to get the color right! :kiss:
> 
> You know me too well...


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Minor Sixthist said:


> Attention ladies and gents: could anyone call Aaron Copland?? Because this thread has truly become a rodeo. Leave it to the ladies to likely begin a TC riot. No, this is NOT a drill, and it's not a Stravinsky ballet either.


I don't think Copland would be interested in either of us.  He might go for Klassik, though!


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> Attention ladies and gents: could anyone call Aaron Copland?? *Because this thread has truly become a rodeo.* Leave it to the ladies to likely begin a TC riot. No, this is NOT a drill, and it's not a Stravinsky ballet either.


Beef: It's What's For Dinner. Well, something like that!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Beef: It's What's For Dinner. Well, something like that!


Also, Fanfare for the Horny Man.


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Klassik said:


> Beef: It's What's For Dinner. Well, something like that!


Hold your horses, dear, at least until the end of the movement...


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Also, Fanfare for the Horny Man.


Why, is he Appalachian Sprung?


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I don't think Copland would be interested in either of us.  He might go for Klassik, though!





Bettina said:


> Also, Fanfare for the Horny Man.


Unfortunately for Copland, my gifts aren't so simple! :devil:



Minor Sixthist said:


> Klassik said:
> 
> 
> > Ooh, don't you worry! I'll waive my briefs around like I'm a bullfighter! Maybe I'll even wash them with a red rag to get the color right!
> ...


The red briefs get 'em every time!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> *Unfortunately for Copland, my gifts aren't so simple!* :devil:
> 
> The red briefs get 'em every time!


Well, he did say "it's a gift to *come *round where you ought to be."


----------



## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Well, he did say "it's a gift to *come *round where you ought to be."


Ludwig has really ought to punish you.


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Minor Sixthist said:


> Ludwig has really ought to punish you.


I'll be sure to bring a whip and handcuffs when I travel back in time, so that Ludwig can give me the punishment I deserve! Maybe he'll even compose a piece about it, "Sonata for Piano and Whip."


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> Hold your horses, dear, at least until the end of the movement...


I can perform at the pace of a slow tempo performance of Boléro. That Toscanini was way too fast getting to the climax! 



Bettina said:


> Well, he did say "it's a gift to *come *round where you ought to be."


Copland and I disagree where we ought to be though! :lol:


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> *I can perform at the pace of a slow tempo performance of Boléro.* That Toscanini was way too fast getting to the climax!
> 
> Copland and I disagree where we ought to be though! :lol:


That's OK with me, as long as you don't use the pace of Cage's piece As Slow as Possible. I might get sore! :lol:


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I'll be sure to bring a whip and handcuffs when I travel back in time, so that Ludwig can give me the punishment I deserve! Maybe he'll even compose a piece about it, "Sonata for Piano and Whip."


We have no evidence that Ludwig liked to use his whip. He's no Ravel! He's more of a teeth guy!


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> That's OK with me, as long as you don't use the pace of Cage's piece As Slow as Possible. I might get sore! :lol:


If I go for 4'33", I can guarantee that it won't be quiet! :devil:

Take that, Cage!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> We have no evidence that Ludwig liked to use his whip. He's no Ravel! He's more of a teeth guy!


I'd be happy to let him bite me. I'd better get some preventive rabies shots before I head off to Vienna!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> If I go for 4'33", I can guarantee that it won't be quiet! :devil:
> 
> Take that, Cage!


Cage said that anything could count as music, if it took place during a performance of 4'33". All of our moans and screams could actually be the content of the composition, for that particular "concert"!


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Cage said that anything could count as music, if it took place during a performance of 4'33". All of our moans and screams could actually be the content of the composition, for that particular "concert"!


Sounds good to me! Does each movement of..um..4'33" need a different position? :lol:


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Sounds good to me! Does each movement of..um..4'33" need a different position? :lol:


I'm not actually sure if 4'33" even has movements:lol:, but I think we can change positions whenever we want. Cage didn't believe in telling people what to do. 

Maybe we can make a recording of our performance and sell it as an X-rated interpretation of Cage's masterpiece!


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Thinking it over more carefully, wouldn't it be hard (so to speak! ) to make it last for exactly 4 minutes and 33 seconds? How could you time the ending so precisely? :lol:


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I'm not actually sure if 4'33" even has movements:lol:, but I think we can change positions whenever we want. Cage didn't believe in telling people what to do.
> 
> Maybe we can make a recording of our performance and sell it as an X-rated interpretation of Cage's masterpiece!


It has 3 movements I think. You move and I'll adjust the tempo accordingly. We're well-timed musicians!

I'm sure this CD will be a "hot" seller! :devil:


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Thinking it over more carefully, wouldn't it be hard (so to speak! ) to make it last for exactly 4 minutes and 33 seconds? How could you time the ending so precisely? :lol:


Good point. We'll need to rehearse for a while! Practice makes perfect!


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Gee. I just dropped into a thread about marriageable composers and people are talking about 4'33."

Is this the recommended wedding march for modern couples, or is it the length of time one could stand being married to a composer?


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Woodduck said:


> Gee. I just dropped into a thread about marriageable composers and people are talking about 4'33."
> 
> Is this the recommended wedding march for modern couples, *or is it the length of time one could stand being married to a composer?*


In the case of Beethoven, it's probably less!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Woodduck said:


> Gee. I just dropped into a thread about marriageable composers and people are talking about 4'33."
> 
> Is this the recommended wedding march for modern couples, or is it the length of time one could stand being married to a composer?


Actually, we're talking about using 4'33" as a time frame for the...umm...consummation of the marriage act. :lol:


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Klassik said:


> In the case of Beethoven, it's probably less!


Don't say that around Bettina!

Oops, there she is now...


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Woodduck said:


> Don't say that around Bettina!
> 
> Oops, there she is now...


Everyone keeps telling me that it won't work out! I'll prove everybody wrong...but first I need to get my hands on a time machine!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Maybe I should have a fling with Dvořák too, because his diacritical marks turn me on (even though he lacks Beethoven's genius!)


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Maybe I should have a fling with Dvořák too, because his diacritical marks turn me on (even though he lacks Beethoven's genius!)


I'm not so sure if Dvořák's wife would approve of you using his diacritical marks!


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> I'm not so sure if Dvořák's wife would approve of you using his diacritical marks!


I'll invite her to join the fun! What with his name and her name, there would be multiple diacritical marks in the bedroom...that would be exciting!


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I'll invite her to join the fun! What with his name and her name, there would be multiple diacritical marks in the bedroom...that would be exciting!


 What about Suk then? Does he get an invite? :lol:


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> What about Suk then? Does he get an invite? :lol:


Probably not, because he wasn't well-endowed...in other words, his name doesn't have any diacritical marks, as far as I know. :lol:


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Bettina said:


> Everyone keeps telling me that it won't work out! I'll prove everybody wrong...but first I need to get my hands on a time machine!


Or a reverse undertaker.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Probably not, because he wasn't well-endowed...in other words, his name doesn't have any diacritical marks, as far as I know. :lol:


What was Dvořák thinking letting his daughter marry someone without diacritics? 

I did a search and it seems that there are some living people named Ludwig Beethoven. Maybe even some Ludwig van Beethovens. Would you go for them?


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Woodduck said:


> Or a reverse undertaker.


Hey, I'm not THAT kinky!!  :lol:


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> What was Dvořák thinking letting his daughter marry someone without diacritics?
> 
> I did a search and it seems that there are some living people named Ludwig Beethoven. Maybe even some Ludwig van Beethovens. Would you go for them?


Probably not...in Beethoven's case, it's not the name that turns me on, it's his musical genius that really gets me going! His name actually isn't that hot - there aren't any diacritical marks in it, and it means "beet garden." Not sexy!


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Probably not...in Beethoven's case, it's not the name that turns me on, it's his musical genius that really gets me going! His name actually isn't that hot - there aren't any diacritical marks in it, and it means "beet garden." Not sexy!


Beet garden? Really? :lol: Well, that is sexy if you're turned on by self-touching! Beethoven was probably an expert in that!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Captainnumber36 said:


> I'm pretty short myself, so I feel I have the right to use the term! :lol:


Okay, but you are a big man around HERE!!!! 

I'm tall, but write short posts.


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

hpowders said:


> Okay, but you are a big man around HERE!!!!
> 
> I'm tall, but write short posts.


Thanks 'powders!


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## bioluminescentsquid (Jul 22, 2016)

Bettina said:


> Wellington's Victory is a good choice...the canon shots are a perfect soundtrack for the act of...umm...shooting your canon! :devil:


Youtube comments under Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture have indicated that videos documenting similar deeds have been made, and are readily available in the seedier corners of the internet. 
I've been too lily-livered (or perhaps small-willied?) to look it up myself.

But who knows? This thread is already bringing out the worst of Talkclassical. :lol:


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Klassik said:


> I'm not so sure if Dvořák's wife would approve of you using his diacritical marks!


According to legend, what Dvořák's wife DID approve of was having an affair with a tubist, and apparently THAT is the reason Dvořák wrote an absolutely minimal tuba part in the New World Symphony - literally 20 or something bars in the largo, and nothing anywhere else, not even in the finale. I'm a tubist and it frustrates me to no end he had to punish our species like that!


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

bioluminescentsquid said:


> Youtube comments under Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture have indicated that videos documenting similar deeds have been made, and are readily available in the seedier corners of the internet.
> I've been too lily-livered (or perhaps small-willied?) to look it up myself.
> 
> But who knows? This thread is already bringing out the worst of Talkclassical. :lol:


I think it may be the best. It appears some members have had a lot of ... suppressed libinimal energy. :lol:


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Minor Sixthist said:


> I think it may be the best. It appears some members have had a lot of ... suppressed libinimal energy. :lol:


Is that a hybrid of libidinal and minimal, or of libidinal and animal?

I'm wondering now whether it's safe to hang out here.


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

Rossini--not only could he compose, but he was also a great cook.


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## Minor Sixthist (Apr 21, 2017)

Woodduck said:


> Is that a hybrid of libidinal and minimal, or of libidinal and animal?
> 
> I'm wondering now whether it's safe to hang out here.


Neither, a spelling error, but I like your thinking.


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Blancrocher said:


> Rossini--not only could he compose, but he was also a great cook.


Beethoven said that Rossini could have been a great composer if his teacher had spanked him. Maybe Ludwig and I can have a three-way with Rossini and give him the spanking that he needed!


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

My God, Bettina


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## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Blancrocher said:


> My God, Bettina


Yeah, I'm totally out of control. Maybe _I'm_ the one who needs to be spanked!!


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## bioluminescentsquid (Jul 22, 2016)

Ok, enough with the nonsense. Here are my kink test results. Match me up with a great composer. :lol:


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

Bettina said:


> I've already figured out some positions *(like doggy style)* where he can actually continue composing during the act itself. I'm sure he'll be more interested in sex if he can multitask! :lol:


I did a double take there for a minute.

Then I realised that you meant "listening intently to his music":


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Blancrocher said:


> Rossini--not only could he compose, but he was also a great cook.


He was a greater eater though!



Bettina said:


> Beethoven said that Rossini could have been a great composer if his teacher had spanked him. Maybe Ludwig and I can have a three-way with Rossini and give him the spanking that he needed!





Blancrocher said:


> My God, Bettina


Yes, Rossini's harpsichord teacher, who happened to work in the liquor business, would fall asleep while standing up.

As for including Rossini in a three-way...









:lol:



Bettina said:


> Yeah, I'm totally out of control. Maybe _I'm_ the one who needs to be spanked!!


Again?! :devil:


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

Just imagine a composition with three main themes interwoven and prepared for three handed playing...........


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Minor Sixthist said:


> I think it may be the best. It appears some members have had a lot of ... suppressed libinimal energy. :lol:





Woodduck said:


> Is that a hybrid of libidinal and minimal, or of libidinal and animal?
> 
> I'm wondering now whether it's safe to hang out here.


It must be the latter! There's nothing minimalist about this! 



EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Just imagine a composition with three main themes interwoven and prepared for three handed playing...........


Three handed playing is my specialty!


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

Bettina said:


> Yeah, I'm totally out of control. Maybe _I'm_ the one who needs to be spanked!!


Ye Gods, major and minor, just where the heck is this thread going? Is this TC in rut? I leave you lot on your own for a few days while I have a rest in Spain and this is what happens! Decorum, folks. Enough talk of polka-dot granny pants (whatever those are).

And my spousal nomination is Camille Chaminade. Obviously.


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Pat Fairlea said:


> Ye Gods, major and minor, just where the heck is this thread going? Is this TC in rut? I leave you lot on your own for a few days while I have a rest in Spain and this is what happens! Decorum, folks. Enough talk of polka-dot granny pants (whatever those are).
> 
> And my spousal nomination is Camille Chaminade. Obviously.


Daddy Pat has come to punish us all for misbehaving, I think Bettina will much prefer to get her beating first....just hum Ode to Joy while doing it...!


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

Captainnumber36 said:


> Daddy Pat has come to punish us all for misbehaving, I think Bettina will much prefer to get her beating first....just hum Ode to Joy while doing it...!


There will be no spanking on my watch, thank you. Just a Stern Look.


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## Captainnumber36 (Jan 19, 2017)

Pat Fairlea said:


> There will be no spanking on my watch, thank you. Just a Stern Look.


Stern looks can be very effective! My dad is the king of stern looks and silent treatment.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

_polka-dot granny pants - isn't that a piece by weird Al _


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

Klassik said:


> Women supposedly like men who can cook. *I don't know if Brahms could cook,* but surely a woman could have pulled some old, uneaten wienerschnitzel out of that beard!


Allegedly Mahler saw Brahms cook a sausage (no tittering at the back, please).

To touch on another strand in this thread: it has been fiercely debated in some quarters whether Brahms was a spanker or a spankee. We shall probably never know for sure.

But we will always have his _Botschaft_.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Dr Johnson said:


> Allegedly Mahler saw Brahms cook a sausage (no tittering at the back, please).


It was probably the finest sausage Mahler ever saw!

:tiphat:

Sorry, I had to.


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

I hear that Handel had lots of bangers.


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## Dr Johnson (Jun 26, 2015)

Blancrocher said:


> I hear that Handel had lots of bangers.


18th century London was full of opportunities.


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Blancrocher said:


> I hear that Handel had lots of bangers.


Oh, so that's what The Music for the Royal Fireworks is all about, huh? :lol:


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## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

hpowders said:


> He spent his last days in an asylum.


I've heard that Schumann was a very "committed" husband!


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## cimirro (Sep 6, 2016)

I'm a nice one


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