# Touch: Chapter 11 (Part 1)



## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

The next day, Nadia nervously stepped into the Conservatory, waiting at any moment for Maxim to come to her. Sure enough, 15 seconds in, he found her.

"Nadia, hello. Are you able to talk now?" coming up to her from across the hall.

"...Yes."

Maxim walked with her and said nothing for a minute. Instead he wanted to take her to another place, outside in a courtyard next to the Conservatory. There, it was secluded.

"So, I hope you had time to think about my prospective to you yesterday," he began.

It was a cloudy day in the city, and a bit cooler than usual. Nadia stood facing away from Maxim, who spoke behind her. She held a tight expression on her face.

"I have."

"What do you say?"

Nadia said nothing for a moment. Maxim came up close behind her.

"I will not hide my intentions any longer from you Nadia," he whispered in her ear. "I do earnestly have strong feelings for you."

"I have emotions too, but of a different kind," Nadia replied evenly.

"Of what?"

"Of confusion."

"...What do you mean?"

Nadia turned to face him.

"I've been wondering why I have felt less in touch with myself when I am with you."

He grimaced at the thought. "Why would that happen?"

"I've come to realize that I... I have some issues within my soul that need to be addressed, and... courtship would not solve it."

"Why not?"

"I... I must find myself first. And to do that, I must turn to God."

"You are a believer then?" he frowned.

"Yes... and I need to ask, are you?"

"I have no need for religion."

Nadia went pale. This was it. This was what was rotting in her soul.

"This is why I feel we can't be more intimate. For me personally, it's against my values."

"What values?"

"I can't be in... harmony with you when we are spiritually so dissimilar."

"But... does it have to be anything that important? Really, we don't have to talk about it, I'm fine with that. But that can't be the only reason!" he started growing pale himself.

"But it is..." Nadia frowned and turned away. This was becoming very hard for her, for her own guilt was tormenting her. She had gone too far.

Maxim looked at her speechless. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. So rarely in his life was he not able to get what he wanted, and now, with what mattered most to him, it was shattered in an instant.

"You are making a mistake!" he said desperately with some edge in his tone. "Why does it matter so much to you? As long as we love each other, it's all that matters."

"We will never love each other..."

"How can you say that? You love me, admit it!" he said irritably.

"Oh Maxim, I can't stay here," she began walking away, but Maxim wouldn't let her, and he grabbed her by the shoulder.

"All this time, I thought you were mine," he said fiercely. There was fire in his eyes. "If you didn't love me, you've surely lead me on to this point. But if you had, or even still do... you're making the worst decision of your life!"

Nadia began to drown in despair. Was it too late now to turn back? Or was everything set in stone?

"No," she replied, her voice trembling, "It would be my best. Because I have committed now a worse wrong than I've ever known, and now I suffer while you do too. Forgive me, we are not meant to be." With tears in her eyes, she walked off, and this time, Maxim left her alone.

Nadia desperately wanted to get away from everyone now. She wanted to practice, but not at the Conservatory. She returned dejectedly to her home, trying to forget what happened. Nadia sat in deep thought for an hour.

Suddenly, and idea came to her. She never went to Andrei's home in the day, but perhaps she could come then.

Cheering up slightly, she decided to call his home again. Speaking to the servant, she asked for Andrei's permission to come that afternoon. To her joy she was admitted.


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