# Incomprehensible occurrences



## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

I'll let Mahlerian kick this of with his masterful "The thought of Boulez writing in a neoclassical style is to me like Luigi Nono writing an ode to Capitalism on words by Ayn Rand."

Or, possibly, like Beethoven writing a well-balanced retrospective of Rossini's music and its development.

Yours?


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

The thought of Wagner writing something lasting 4 hours and 33 minutes...

Oops! He actually did that. 

You know what I meant to say.


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

The thought of Mozart writing something that completely lacks charm.


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## Cosmos (Jun 28, 2013)

Chopin writing a symphony


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## Blake (Nov 6, 2013)

Morton Feldman... with guest soloist Yngwie Malmsteen.


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## Ludric (Oct 29, 2014)

J.S. Bach writing a Catholic mass... oh, wait...


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Wagner writing a guitar concerto. 

Glass not observing a repeat sign.

Rachmaninov's piano concertos performed on harpsichord.


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## Chronochromie (May 17, 2014)

Baroque music performed on the piano.


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## Guest (Nov 17, 2014)

For this next Takemitsu work, we'll be playing 'allegro vivace'...


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## senza sordino (Oct 20, 2013)

Wagner writing a Jewish Hymn

No one in a Puccini opera dying

A thread here on TC about atonal music in which everyone agrees and everyone gets along nicely.


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Vivaldi writing the same concerto five hundred _more_ times.


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

I'm honored.

Here's another one for the thread:
Mozart writing a percussion concerto.


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Mahlerian said:


> I'm honored.
> 
> Here's another one for the thread:
> Mozart writing a percussion concerto.


For triangle, cymbals and bass drum - _alla turca?_


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## Richannes Wrahms (Jan 6, 2014)

Schoenberg stating the superiority of the galant style.
Debussy praising Brahms' orchestration. 
Pierre Boulez conducts Richard Nanes.


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Richannes Wrahms said:


> Schoenberg stating the superiority of the galant style.
> Debussy praising Brahms' orchestration.
> Pierre Boulez conducts Richard Nanes.


The name "Richard Nanes" being uttered on TC without severe reprisals.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

"Beethoven's latest and largest essay in symphonic form puts all previous efforts in the shade. It's hard to avoid the conclusion that this masterwork obsoletes the symphonies of all that have gone before."

--F. J. Haydn, in Gramophone


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

'I and my father's followers were delighted to hear the new opera by a man named Rameau. His first, *mais c'est formidable*! He uses harmony in such a daring way, and shows how our nation's music *must* advance beyond the dead hand of my revered father. ' Jean-Baptiste Lully, fils.


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## Petwhac (Jun 9, 2010)

'The Canterbury Tales' a new ballet by J. Brahms.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

Stockhausen conducting Mozart and Haydn! Oh wait....
Ha, I know! A neobaroque suite for string orchestra in G major composed by Schoenberg well into his career as a serialist! Wait, WHAT?!

Okay this won't fail....

ArtMusic creating a poll which implies the superiority of Musique Concrète.


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## GioCar (Oct 30, 2013)

Vesuvius said:


> Morton Feldman... with guest soloist Yngwie Malmsteen.


Or Morton Feldman taking inspiration from... Schoenberg Op.19.


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

Bertholt Brecht writing lyrics for Richard Strauss's 'Le bourgeois gentilhomme' without turning it into agitprop.


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

Vesuvius said:


> Morton Feldman... with guest soloist Yngwie Malmsteen.


That's actually 'Yngwie _'M._' Malmsteen'-- the 'M' is there to differentiate him from all of the other Yngwie Malmsteen's out there playing Bach scales on fast-forward and reverse and acting like Swedish meatballs.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

The thought of Mozart composing 63 more symphonies and dedicating them in a huge ceremony at Madison Square Garden to Haydn.


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## Guest (Nov 17, 2014)

A thread on modern music:

"Whether or not I personally identify with this music, I find its groundbreaking nature to be of artistic value!"

"Hmm, quite."

"No problems here!"

"Indeed."

"We always agree on this subject, why not go back to bashing those classicist nerds?"

"Lol, seriously."


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Mahler composing a new symphony of some 27 minutes in length; C Major; 4 movements, no repeats, subtitled, "Das leben ist kurz".


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

Kenny G Plays Beethoven: A Smooth Jazz Classic

Tracklist
1. Felt Hammer - Piano Sonata in B-flat, Finale
2. Chilling at the Funeral - Symphony in E-flat, 2nd Mvt.
3. Faithful Seduction - Fidelio Overture
4. Relaxing Like a King - Emperor Concerto Finale
5. Lazy Afternoon Rain - Symphony No. 6 in F 4th Mvt.
6. Messin' Around - Missa Solemnis, Credo
7. Grossly in Love with You - String Quartet in B-flat op. 130, original finale


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## SuperTonic (Jun 3, 2010)

Lang Lang plays Cage's 4'33".


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## Piwikiwi (Apr 1, 2011)

Mahlerian said:


> Kenny G Plays Beethoven: A Smooth Jazz Classic
> 
> Tracklist
> 1. Felt Hammer - Piano Sonata in B-flat, Finale
> ...


Please don't post this, you are only giving him ideas.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

"I've heard it said that there's plenty of good music still to be written in C major. So from now on, all my music will be in that key."

--A. Schoenberg


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## ptr (Jan 22, 2013)

Mahlerian said:


> Kenny G Plays Beethoven: A Smooth Jazz Classic
> 
> Tracklist
> 1. Felt Hammer - Piano Sonata in B-flat, Finale
> ...


If TC was a place for medieval religious practises, then, this weird suggestion would yield at least two laps around Manchester as a flagellant! :devil:










/ptr


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## MoonlightSonata (Mar 29, 2014)

Schoenberg (or Mahler, or Berg, or Beethoven, or just about anyone else) being wholeheartledly and unanimously praised on this forum.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Mahler re-orchestrating the 6 Brandenburg Concertos of Bach and indicating "adding the clarinets and the mandolin were my pride! I so do enjoy pithy compositions and also, for that matter, the pithy poster on TC! Wunderbar!!"


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

Vesuvius said:


> Morton Feldman... with guest soloist Yngwie Malmsteen.


Now that's funny!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Richard Wagner after being dragged to hear Rigoletto, gives up his composing method and from that point on only composed pithy, concise operas with no bloviating, consisting of set pieces for the singers.


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## millionrainbows (Jun 23, 2012)

Franz Liszt arranges John Field's Nocturnes, transforming them into a virtuosic showcase.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

After three more TC breakdowns, all the mods get up and in disgust, leave TC for good, leaving us posters to fend for ourselves and surprisingly, we prove to be models of mature poster decorum.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

^^^^^ Not incomprehensible; just unbelievable!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Ingélou said:


> ^^^^^ Not incomprehensible; just unbelievable!


Call it a "fantasy"!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Beethoven is rehearsing his new Seventh Symphony and the orchestra is having some difficulty:

"Come on boys, I know it's tough! When we finish here, tell you what, the beer's on me!"


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## SeptimalTritone (Jul 7, 2014)

SuperTonic said:


> Lang Lang plays Cage's 4'33".


I saw your post (and your avatar) and for a second I was like: "WTF I didn't post on this thread yet!"


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## Badinerie (May 3, 2008)

I got out of bed this morning and nothing hurt. Wait! this is about music right? Hell....Im out !


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

hpowders said:


> Mahler re-orchestrating the 6 Brandenburg Concertos of Bach and indicating "adding the clarinets and the mandolin were my pride! I so do enjoy pithy compositions and also, for that matter, the pithy poster on TC! Wunderbar!!"


And while he's at it, why not throw in some cow bells as well?


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Someone at a party approaches Brahms and points out the phrase in his first symphony similar to the Ode to Joy tune in Beethoven's Ninth. Brahms says "Wow! Thank you sincerely for noticing that! Can I buy you a beer, my good fellow?"


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

brianvds said:


> And while he's at it, why not throw in some cow bells as well?


Come on my dear fellow! It's a simple re-orchestration, not an anachronism.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

hpowders said:


> Someone at a party approaches Brahms and points out the phrase in his first symphony similar to the Ode to Joy tune in Beethoven's Ninth. Brahms says "Wow! Thank you sincerely for noticing that! Can I buy you a beer, my good fellow?"


And then adding, "You know, I am now deeply worried that I might, in many of my works, have committed acts of plagiarism without realizing it. I hope I don't get sued!"


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

brianvds said:


> And then adding, "You know, I am now deeply worried that I might, in many of my works, have committed acts of plagiarism without realizing it. I hope I don't get sued!"


Wow! That must sound unbelievable in German!!


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## Nereffid (Feb 6, 2013)

A box set of "Beecham conducts Stockhausen".


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## Andreas (Apr 27, 2012)

hpowders said:


> Wow! That must sound unbelievable in German!!


Try it:

"Vissen zee, ish bin tsu-teefst besoarked, does ish, in feelin minor vear-keh, pluggy-eared hawb, ohh-neh as tsu mayor-ken. Ish hoffeh, ish vear-deh nisht fair-clarked."


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## TurnaboutVox (Sep 22, 2013)

Mahlerian said:


> Kenny G Plays Beethoven: A Smooth Jazz Classic
> 
> Tracklist
> 1. Felt Hammer - Piano Sonata in B-flat, Finale
> ...


For one awful moment I thought you'd posted (for once) in the 'Jazz hole' and this actually existed...


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## ArtMusic (Jan 5, 2013)

Xenakis writing an ode to celebrate the coronation of a British monarch.


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## shangoyal (Sep 22, 2013)

Haydn writing a "Toy Symphony" - but he did!


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

shangoyal said:


> Haydn writing a "Toy Symphony" - but he did!


And then he was poisoned by Leopold Mozart, who took credit for the work.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

A recording of the Ives Concord Piano Sonata by Artur Rubinstein made to celebrate his 80th birthday will be released by RCA Red Seal in December in stereophonic sound.
Copland's Piano Variations will round out this valuable CD.
Release was held up due to a family dispute.
It seems the family held property in Connecticut and wished to sell it before releasing the Ives.


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## Mahlerian (Nov 27, 2012)

TurnaboutVox said:


> For one awful moment I thought you'd posted (for once) in the 'Jazz hole' and this actually existed...


Thankfully for the world, it does not. Also, I know better than to call upon myself the beating that would ensue by posting Kenny G under a jazz topic...


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

"I'm bringing it back!" said Beethoven according to the Vienna Musical Times. "This one will be called "Wellington's Final Battle and Ultimate Victory!"


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## Headphone Hermit (Jan 8, 2014)

Get on over to the 'Has music's progress beeen held back' thread - there are plenty of incomprehensible utterances over there :devil:


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Headphone Hermit said:


> Get on over to the 'Has music's progress beeen held back' thread - there are plenty of incomprehensible utterances over there :devil:


Plenty all over the place. When the incomprehensible utterances reach the saturation point, the site crashes. It's a built-in self-cleansing mechanism devised by the providers.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

A few unlikely albums:

Stravinsky conducts Vivaldi - a box set of the complete concertos.

Velvet Smooth - Excerpts from the Bartok string quartets, for relaxation/easy listening

Concertos in A minor - From Schumann to Schoenberg

Libera goes modern - Vocal music by Stravinsky, Ligeti, Schoenberg and others


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## Guest (Nov 19, 2014)

^ More like Stravinsky Conducts Villa-Lobos.

Here's one:

A lovable ole faithful "Yes/No/Unsure" style poll in which the OP goes with "Unsure".


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## shangoyal (Sep 22, 2013)

brianvds said:


> And then he was poisoned by Leopold Mozart, who took credit for the work.


Ah! At the time of writing, I was blissfully unaware of any authorship contentions.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

"Changed my mind. Music can express almost anything. I mean, like, you know, all kinds of stuff."

--Igor Stravinsky


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

"Changed my mind. You're not an *** after all, but a sensitive and intelligent guy that I just love." 

--Beethoven


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## Guest (Nov 19, 2014)

"Changed my mind. Music doesn't *always* exist to glorify God. Sometimes you just need to lay down a phat beat."

--J.S. Bach


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

"Changed my mind: This damn Eroica first movement IS all about Napoleon! Mamma Mía!! How could I have been so wrong!" Arturo Toscanini.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

"Changed my mind: There is no Ode To Joy melody in my first symphony. You are nuts! Come back after taking some composition courses and we'll talk. By the way my good fellow, have you seen Clara?" Johannes Brahms


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

"I wish I wasn't German" - Wagner.


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

"I hate when musicians play notes that I didn't write" -John Cage


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## shangoyal (Sep 22, 2013)

Beethoven playing a recorder.


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## Petwhac (Jun 9, 2010)

After the first performance of 'Die Entführung aus dem Serail'.

*Emperor Joseph II*: That is too fine for my ears, there are too many notes!

*Mozart*: No problemo Joe, tell me which ones you don't want and they're history. You're the boss!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I wish I wasn't pithy.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I am totally unaware of my post count and wonder why anybody cares about such a trivial and superficial pursuit.


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

Brahms patiently playing Santa Claus for a day-long queue of spoilt Viennese brats.


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Wagner shooting cats with a crossbow Brahms gave him. Actually this is true, though the reporting is often confused.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2001/apr/12/highereducation.arts


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## Haydn man (Jan 25, 2014)

Ok guys I'm going home to finish that symphony, you can carry on drinking if you wish
Schubert


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

A group of neighbors banged on my door and requested that I make my music louder because they cannot get enough Mahler for spiritual nourishment and called me "selfish" for not sharing it with the entire neighborhood.


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## SeptimalTritone (Jul 7, 2014)

hpowders said:


> I am totally unaware of my post count and wonder why anybody cares about such a trivial and superficial pursuit.


You can get to 10,000 too! Just a few more days...


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

hpowders said:


> A group of neighbors banged on my door and requested that I make my music louder because they cannot get enough Mahler for spiritual nourishment.


I was one of the neighbors. I also came all the way from Oregon to Florida.


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

Woodduck said:


> I was one of the neighbors. I also came all the way from Oregon to Florida.


All the way from the Oregon coast?-- I bet you have an Astoria to tell or two. _;D_


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Marschallin Blair said:


> All the way from the Oregon coast?-- I bet you have an Astoria to tell or two. _;D_


Verily, in my floridest language (but let us not stray from the topic and become ourselves an incomprehensible occurrence).


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

Woodduck said:


> Verily, in my floridest language (but let us not stray from the topic and become ourselves an incomprehensible occurrence).


Okay.

So if it can't be "Marscha! Marscha! Marscha!"-- I'll just say, "Mahler! Mahler! Mahler!"

--- Is that better?

'On topic,' as it were.










. . . and 'yes,' I'm sulking.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

SeptimalTritone said:


> You can get to 10,000 too! Just a few more days...


I don't care. I have more than enough. Met some very nice people. Mission accomplished.


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## SONNET CLV (May 31, 2014)

violadude said:


> "I hate when musicians play notes that I didn't write" -John Cage


"I hate when musicians play notes." -- John Cage, reconsidering his earlier statement, prior to writing 4'33"


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Haydn: "I give up! Why the hell should I even bother going to London? Mozart is so much better as a composer than I am. He can simply carry the torch from here. I'll just sit home and write my memoirs. 92 symphonies is plenty enough already."


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## HaydnBearstheClock (Jul 6, 2013)

What if Haydn was behind Schumann as the latter said that famous disparaging comment about him - 'Herr Schumann, I daresay you may be exaggerating. Come, let me show you a few tricks on the old fortepiano over there, will you?'
Schumann: Haydn? Haha, I don't need no advice from some old buffoon like you, I'm a genius!
Haydn: oh, really? Ever try this?
(performs original scale/arpeggio pattern on the piano, and develops it in completely unexpected and novel ways)
Schumann: (thinks - 'wait, this guy knows what he's doing, did he just come up with that?') Say, Herr Haydn, can you toss me some more ideas?
Herr Haydn: Well, Herr Schumann, I see my skill has somewhat humbled your disposition towards me. I certainly hope that we may resume correspondence on all musical matters in the future.
Schumann: Oh, yes, Herr Haydn, certainly.
(thinks: man, why did I say such mean things about the guy?)


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Schubert after hearing his Ninth Symphony played for the first time, and being dissatisfied with its interminable length and tedious, torturous rhythms, laid it all on the line for posterity and quickly composed a 10th symphony subtitled "Grösser als Gross!" in D Major, a more acceptable, pithy 27 minutes in length, and with that exclaimed "Jetzt kann ich mich ausruhen!"


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## Richannes Wrahms (Jan 6, 2014)

Marschallin Blair said:


> Okay.
> 
> So if it can't be "Marscha! Marscha! Marscha!"-- I'll just say, "Mahler! Mahler! Mahler!"
> 
> ...


Who wouldn't love their 'Symphony in GmbH'?


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

"What!? Revise my symphony? Are you completely bonkers!? I will not change a single note, I tell you!" 

--Anton Bruckner


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Woodduck said:


> I was one of the neighbors. I also came all the way from Oregon to Florida.


I made it louder just for you! Listen! Listen! There's the mandolin!!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

brianvds said:


> "What!? Revise my symphony? Are you completely bonkers!? I will not change a single note, I tell you!"
> 
> --Anton Bruckner


Yes. I can authenticate this. "Bonkers" was Bruckner's second favorite word after "Gott".


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## Whistler Fred (Feb 6, 2014)

In between "Could It be Magic" and "Copacabana", Barry Manilow performs George Crumb's "Macrocosmos."


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## science (Oct 14, 2010)

hpowders said:


> Yes. I can authenticate this. "Bonkers" was Bruckner's second favorite word after "Gott".


Bruckner: Symphony #0000 in C-sharp major (4th revision of 1890) "Gott bonkers"


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

hpowders said:


> Yes. I can authenticate this. "Bonkers" was Bruckner's second favorite word after "Gott".


Which is why Charles Ives dedicated his third symphony (subtitled "Bonkers") to the fourth revised version of Bruckner's fifth.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

brianvds said:


> Which is why Charles Ives dedicated his third symphony (subtitled "Bonkers") to the fourth revised version of Bruckner's fifth.


A Schubert 10th Symphony was recently discovered, subtitled "Greater Than Great".


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## Badinerie (May 3, 2008)

hpowders said:


> A Schubert 10th Symphony was recently discovered, subtitled "Greater Than Great".


With a dedication to Tony the Tiger.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Badinerie said:


> With a dedication to Tony the Tiger.


:lol::lol::lol:

The only Schubert Kelloggs knows is Joe Schubert in charge of sugar distribution.


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## millionrainbows (Jun 23, 2012)

A new pencil-revised version of Ives' Concord Sonata has been discovered in the attic of his home! This makes it the 3,427th version. A 30-CD box set will soon be released, with recordings of all the versions.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Mahlerian changes his tag to Coplandian.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> Chopin writing a symphony


I wouldn't be standing in line at Harrod's for that CD.


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## MagneticGhost (Apr 7, 2013)

Hpowders spends a day lurking


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

At 2AM on the telly, there was this exciting infomercial demonstrating excerpts of dynamic classical music from the likes of Karajan, Bernstein, Pinnock, Argerich, Milstein and Uchida. The announcer did not have an upper crust British accent and sounded really enthusiastic that I should buy this set. I think I will!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

Gramophone is reporting that RCA Red Seal is releasing the Mahler Symphonies conducted by the composer and faithfully transferred from the acetates to digital by the Marston Process. Watch for availability.


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## Richannes Wrahms (Jan 6, 2014)

...............................................................


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Mozart: "I've totally had it with this 'pretty music' crud. I'm going to write some really gnarly stuff that'll get the critics' knickers in a twist!" Promptly dies.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

hpowders said:


> A Schubert 10th Symphony was recently discovered, subtitled "Greater Than Great".


But because it only exists as sketches, it is also known as the "Really Unfinished."


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Richannes Wrahms said:


> ...............................................................


How the **** did you do that?


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Easy. ......................................................................


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

Woodduck said:


> How the **** did you do that?


. . . by sitting at a piano keyboard with your hands folded.

Its called 'art.'

Or even "the painted word."


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

Woodduck said:


> How the **** did you do that?


It's an incomprehensible occurrence!


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## trazom (Apr 13, 2009)

Woodduck said:


> How the **** did you do that?


....................................................


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Stravinsky: "You know that Glazunov guy? I changed my mind. I was wrong about him. I think I like him after all, and am going to go back to the style I use to write. I'll dedicate my next symphony to him, and it will sound like this:"


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Glazunov: "You know that old student at the Conservatory, Stravinsky? Well, I was wrong about him. He's exceptionally talented composer, and I think I could learn a thing or two from him. Let me try something dissonant like him, maybe something like this? Or perhaps it leans more on the Schoenberg side of things..."


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

Glazunov writing dodecophonic music.

"Well, I think I'll do it MY way, and see how it turns out:"


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

KenOC said:


> Easy. ......................................................................


I'm giving all you people "likes," but I do not like this funny business! There are already too many things I don't know how to do on this infernal machine! I insist on an explanation! I demand it! The "likes" are bribes! Surely you can't all resist them!


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

Woodduck said:


> I'm giving all you people "likes," but I do not like this funny business! There are already too many things I don't know how to do on this infernal machine! I insist on an explanation! I demand it! The "likes" are bribes! Surely you can't all resist them!


Add a string of periods to make your post long enough. Select them with the mouse and click on font color (the icon with the big "A" and the down arrow). Choose white. Done!


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

Woodduck said:


> I'm giving all you people "likes," but I do not like this funny business! There are already too many things I don't know how to do on this infernal machine! I insist on an explanation! I demand it! The "likes" are bribes! Surely you can't all resist them!


Never mind. I figured it out all by myself.


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

KenOC said:


> Add a string of periods to make your post long enough. Select them with the mouse and click on font color (the icon with the big "A" and the down arrow). Choose white. Done!


Thank you. I got your explanation at the same moment I posted my discovery!

Whee! A new toy! (But no longer incomprehensible. Life is slowly losing its mystery.)


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

Woodduck said:


> Never mind. I figured it out all by myself.


The lobo wolf.

I'm so turned on.

Do you live in Oregon or the Yukon, White Fang?


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## DavidA (Dec 14, 2012)

Nereffid said:


> A box set of "Beecham conducts Stockhausen".


"Do you know any Stockhausen, Sir Thomas?"
"No but I once trod in some!"


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

. .


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

^That is a far better trick than white text


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> ^That is a far better trick than white text


Oh my God.  You'd better come clean or I'm going to implode.


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## dgee (Sep 26, 2013)

Slightly off topic, but does anyone else think Beecham with his 'quips' and general smug, self-satisfied air must have been a huge pain in the heiny?


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde (Dec 2, 2011)

dgee said:


> Slightly off topic, but does anyone else think Beecham with his 'quips' and general smug, self-satisfied air must have been a huge pain in the heiny?


I've seen an entire *book* of compiled quotes and anecdotes of this nature, all Beecham. It's a huge pain in the heiny, I agree. But hey, he's a celebrity.


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## SimonNZ (Jul 12, 2012)

dgee said:


> Slightly off topic, but does anyone else think Beecham with his 'quips' and general smug, self-satisfied air must have been a huge pain in the heiny?


God, I'm glad to hear someone else say this. That one he said to the female cellist was cruel and heartless, no matter what the "accepted" gender politics of the age.


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

dgee said:


> Slightly off topic, but does anyone else think Beecham with his 'quips' and general smug, self-satisfied air must have been a huge pain in the heiny?


I'm sure he was a pain to work with (and I'm certainly not a fan of the anecdote that Simon mentioned), but I wish there were a few more witty provocateurs speaking like that in public now. Many conductors/musicians are capable of it, to be sure, but now orchestras seem to want bland spokespersons just as much as the US government. I'm less bothered by smugness than corporate-speak.

*p.s.* To return to the thread topic: it's inconceivable to me that Beecham said half the things that have been attributed to him.


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## SimonNZ (Jul 12, 2012)

I knew so many Beecham jokes about Malcolm Sargent before I'd seriously listened to Sargent that it still, even to this day, even knowing better, colours my view of Sargent just a little.


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## brianvds (May 1, 2013)

"Lady, what I said to you was cruel and heartless, and I apologize unconditionally and profusely." 

--Thomas Beecham


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## Marschallin Blair (Jan 23, 2014)

dgee said:


> Slightly off topic, but does anyone else think Beecham with his 'quips' and general smug, self-satisfied air must have been a huge pain in the heiny?


I find him a shaft of light, myself. Some of his detractors around the stair case can be crashing bores though.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

"Who stole my lollipops?!!" Sir Thomas Beecham


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

The entire TC membership got together this past weekend, Musical Times reports, and it was "the most amazing demonstration of fondness and love I ever saw!"-Mike Musiker, local musical events reporter.


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

hpowders: "As my New Years Resolution, I have decided to write my posts in multi-paragraph, intellectual dissertation style"


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

After achieving 12,307 posts on TC, to his dismay, hpowders found out that he had reached the maximum posting total and the next post brought him back down all the way to one.


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## SeptimalTritone (Jul 7, 2014)

Woodduck said:


> Oh my God.  You'd better come clean or I'm going to implode.


Seriously Mr. Matthias Pintscher how in the world do you bypass the 15char limit!


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

The first violinist of the Vienna Philharmonic from the 1980's confessed yesterday: 

"We could never understand Bernstein's German in that deplorable Massachusetts accent. We just played things slow, figuring that he's old now and that's probably what he wanted anyway."


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## BillT (Nov 3, 2013)

I wake up with no pain; my wife never again says something out of context, irrational, or that I can't understand; it is announced that exercise and diet have no value and I discover that I really don't like ice cream and chocolate; and my neighbor's dog never again barks during Mahler's Adagietto.

- Bill


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## KenOC (Mar 7, 2011)

On Talk Classical: Wagner is discussed, and nobody starts posting about anti-Semitism.


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## Chronochromie (May 17, 2014)

Pierre Boulez conducts Johann Strauss II.


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## MagneticGhost (Apr 7, 2013)

Johann Strauss II conducts Boulez


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## Chronochromie (May 17, 2014)

MagneticGhost said:


> Johann Strauss II conducts Boulez


Now this is why a time machine would be useful. :lol:


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## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

After much rumination, Beethoven revises his Heiligenstadt Testament to include a clause to pay him royalties for all future CD sales of Wellington's Victory but tragically NOT, his string quartets, symphonies and piano sonatas.


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

KenOC said:


> On Talk Classical: Wagner is discussed, and nobody starts posting about anti-Semitism.


Nobody brought it up during my _Parsifal_ lectures. I figure it's because all but two members of the class slept in. Rehearsing for the performance, no doubt.


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## Woodduck (Mar 17, 2014)

MagneticGhost said:


> Johann Strauss II conducts Boulez


Don't laugh. J. Strauss, Jr. and his orchestra gave the premiere performance of the prelude to _Tristan und Isolde_. And nobody called it crossover. (What they did call it is not recorded.)


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