# Hoovers



## Aramis (Mar 1, 2009)

What kind of hoovers do you own? Are you satisfied with them? What do you like/dislike about them?

I use Zelmer Orion. It's a great hoover. It looks like that:










He is equipped with cable sucker. Unfortunately, it's not very strong and I have to manually help him to suck the whole cable. But I'm satisfied with him.


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## Tapkaara (Apr 18, 2006)

This thread...sucks.


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## bongos (Nov 27, 2008)

a solo wind instrument ?, play us an air


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## Artemis (Dec 8, 2007)

What a silly, vacuous thread.


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## Aramis (Mar 1, 2009)

Artemis said:


> What a silly, vacuous thread.


It's not vacuous. If you're not hoovers lover then just step aside.


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## Artemis (Dec 8, 2007)

Aramis said:


> It's not vacuous. If you're not hoovers lover then just step aside.


Keep it clean. There are probably children reading this.


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## bongos (Nov 27, 2008)

best song played on a Hoover ? James Brown's" Papa's got a brand new bag"


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## Weston (Jul 11, 2008)

This is actually a tool used in painting, not a musical instrument. If you reverse the motor to blow air out, you can put the hose right up next to fairly wet paint and get some great supernova effects. I have a friend who has used this technique for published pieces.

Having said that, I have used sound samples of a similar device in s sampler to make some cheesy electronica.


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

Malcolm Arnold actually composed a piece for vacuum cleaners & orchestra (I think it was called _A Grand, Grand Overture_). It was his riposte to the avant-garde, who said he was old hat. Pretty witty, huh?


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## Artemis (Dec 8, 2007)

Aramis said:


> Unfortunately, it's not very strong and I have to manually help him to suck the whole cable. But I'm satisfied with him.


Perhaps I was a bit harsh in my initial response. I'm sorry to hear about your problems. Here's a model with a lot more power:










It's equipped with:


Flexible hose
3 extension tubes
Brush head
Crevice nozzle
Small brush head
What more could you possibly want?


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## Artemis (Dec 8, 2007)

Or if that's not powerful enough, this might be more appropriate:


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## Artemis (Dec 8, 2007)

Then again if you want the really tough, no-nonsense type there's this:


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## Artemis (Dec 8, 2007)

A word of warning. This is what can happen to someone who becomes *obsessed *with hoovers.

First picture, quite normal, yes? (Posh & Becks out on the town, like any normal day)










But wait, what do we see when they get home? Becks is so obsessed with hoovers he has to have a "quickie" before going to bed.


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## Tapkaara (Apr 18, 2006)

Artemis said:


> Then again if you want the really tough, no-nonsense type there's this:


Doesn't that model also come in a dress?


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## Artemis (Dec 8, 2007)

Tapkaara said:


> Doesn't that model also come in a dress?


Not where I live. Nor any Trannies either. It's a respectable borough. Only Tories like me are allowed. Anyway, what's this got to do hoovers? Don't change the subject. We're having a highly useful discussion here.


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