# Am I the only person who doesn't care about...



## Ravellian

...weight? To me, weight has nothing to do with how attractive a woman is. It's all about the face... as long as they have a nice face and decent "assets", there's something to appreciate for all shapes and sizes (except past 300 pounds or so, that's kinda too big)

Though I confess, I do find myself befriending and dating mostly skinny women, mostly to keep up a positive image of myself. I don't want people to think "Has he let his standards drop?!" "Is he some kinda weirdo!?" etc. just because I'm dating a fat person, which is ludicrous for them to do so, but people will think (and say) things anyway and I don't want to deal with it.

What about you guys? Girls, how do you feel about guys in this way? No need to conform to society's expectations here, we're all anonymous


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## Couchie

But doesn't how attractive the face is have a lot to do with weight? Compare:

















If you've ever seen the show Biggest Loser, its actually shocking how beautiful some of the women's faces are after they drop the weight.


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## Ravellian

Couchie said:


> But doesn't how attractive the face is have a lot to do with weight?


Sometimes yes but very often no.. unless you really like bony faces.


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## Huilunsoittaja

Ravellian said:


> .What about you guys? Girls, how do you feel about guys in this way? No need to conform to society's expectations here, we're all anonymous


That question puts me in such a fidgety mood...! I agree, as in I also don't care much at all about the weight of guys, actually, but as to why...


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## Sid James

I don't mind if women aren't like supermodels, as long as they're within the normal/average weight range of the spectrum. Slightly overweight is okay, but massively overweight (eg. obese) is not something I'm attracted to. Nor do I like the said supermodels, or just models, who look as if they're anorexic.

But I'm with you, Ravellian, in terms of appreciating a woman with a nice face, a nice smile, nice hair, that sort of thing. In other words, I care more about that type of thing than say the size of her cleavage, which is what some guys kind of disproportionately focus on, imo. Personality is also important to me, as well as other things...


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## Shamit

Men are biologically soft wired to like curvy women, while skinny women are preferred in most cultures, some african cultures are known to prefer heavy women. They believe heavy women will carry healthier child. However intellectual attraction is known to trump biological attraction, which is why geniuses tend to get laid.


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## Almaviva

Beauty or lack thereof doesn't necessarily correlate with weight, except for the two extremes (like you said, anorexic, or obese).

Physical attractiveness correlates even less, since it is basically how well a woman uses what she's got.

Finally, personality and intellect correlate even less to weight than physical attraction does.

The bottom line is that for a woman to be globally attractive, there are many factors other than weight, and women with perfect hot bodies may be unattractive while women who are overweight can be extremely attractive (or not).

Self-confidence, poise, natural demeanor, sense of fashion/style/classy elegance, intelligence, good humor, contagious smile, flirtatiousness, playfulness, etc., etc., are often a lot more important - especially when taken as a whole - than whether or not she is a few pounds (or even in certain cases many pounds) above the ideal BMI.

Here is an extremely attractive woman who is currently overweight (you won't be surprised with my selection, that's for sure, hehehe):


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## mamascarlatti

Almaviva said:


> B
> Here is an extremely attractive woman who is *currently overweight* (you won't be surprised with my selection, that's for sure, hehehe):


Whaaat? She looks perfectly normal to me!!!


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## HarpsichordConcerto

Ravellian said:


> ...weight? To me, weight has nothing to do with how attractive a woman is. It's all about the face... as long as they have a nice face and decent "assets", there's something to appreciate for all shapes and sizes (except past 300 pounds or so, that's kinda too big)
> 
> Though I confess, I do find myself befriending and dating mostly skinny women, mostly to keep up a positive image of myself. I don't want people to think "Has he let his standards drop?!" "Is he some kinda weirdo!?" etc. just because I'm dating a fat person, which is ludicrous for them to do so, but people will think (and say) things anyway and I don't want to deal with it.
> 
> What about you guys? Girls, how do you feel about guys in this way? No need to conform to society's expectations here, we're all anonymous


Disclaimer first: I am discussing physical appearances only, and that implies nothing about inner beauty!

It's very often a slim figure that attracts a male's attention first, whether or not he realises that consciously or not. Unlike a pretty face, which you admit to being _consciously_ attracted to one, you wouldn't look twice at fat women (unless you are attracted to them). Many beautiful looking women can have rather "average" facial features, but look incredibly sexy overall because of their slim figure and hair. Likewise, women are often attracted to men who have toned physiques. Get my point?


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## Vesteralen

I'm really shallow. When I am watching a filmed performance by someone who is playing the role of a person who is *supposed to be *attractive, I always think, "Do *I* consider this person to be attractive?" If I don't, I usually don't enjoy the experience as much because I fixate on "Why did whoever casted this thing think this person is attractive?"

I don't much like operatic singing, though, so I can see it would be different for those who do. I can only take opera if there is a minimum of warbling.


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## Iforgotmypassword

Well, first let me mention the fact that I personally am 5'6" and 125-130 lbs. The most overweight that I've ever been was right after wrestling season when I had starved my metabolism into nonexistance and therefore gained a full 25-30 lbs within like a weeks time. I weighed 135 lbs. 

With that said, I don't mind when a woman doesn't have a toned stomach or rippling thighs, but I really am not attracted to overweight people. I personally just see it as a bit of a health issue, I'm attracted to healthy people. Then there's the simple fact that I don't want a girl who weighs significantly more than I do. 

Just my take of course.


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## Ukko

Almaviva said:


> [...]
> Here is an extremely attractive woman who is currently overweight (you won't be surprised with my selection, that's for sure, hehehe):


From my archaic perspective, Netrebko is buxom, moderately handsome, and 'cleans up good'.


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## Operafocus

My reply will be divided in two on this one.

When it comes to men I like to *watch*, I'll gladly go for Hugh Jackman running around naked in Wolverine (I've seen it twice now but do I know what it's about? No. Is it great? Yes) for entertainment. I'll gladly look at a nicely shaped man and grin sheepishly to myself.

But would I want to *be with* a man who's obsessed about training and dieting and working out and running and weights and so on? Hell, I'd rather stick myself in the eye with a fork repeatedly!

I tend to like men who are ever so slightly "on the large side". I don't know what it is, but there's something really sexy about a man who has a larger frame. To illustrate what I mean with a video:






Bodyshape-wise, the baritone is what I find appealing in a man. Someone with a large frame, a big chest etc. I'm sure a lot of women will find the tenor appealing, considering he's probably pretty fit underneath his shirt there, but I'd go for the bear every time. I dunno why, really.

My partner is relatively stocky built with a little belly on him, and it suits me juuuuuuust fine


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## Klavierspieler

Operafocus said:


> My reply will be divided in two on this one.
> 
> When it comes to men I like to *watch*, I'll gladly go for Hugh Jackman running around naked in Wolverine (I've seen it twice now but do I know what it's about? No. Is it great? Yes) for entertainment. I'll gladly look at a nicely shaped man and grin sheepishly to myself.
> 
> But would I want to *be with* a man who's obsessed about training and dieting and working out and running and weights and so on? Hell, I'd rather stick myself in the eye with a fork repeatedly!
> 
> I tend to like men who are ever so slightly "on the large side". I don't know what it is, but there's something really sexy about a man who has a larger frame. To illustrate what I mean with a video:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bodyshape-wise, the baritone is what I find appealing in a man. Someone with a large frame, a big chest etc. I'm sure a lot of women will find the tenor appealing, considering he's probably pretty fit underneath his shirt there, but I'd go for the bear every time. I dunno why, really.
> 
> My partner is relatively stocky built with a little belly on him, and it suits me juuuuuuust fine


Funny; I always assumed you were a guy because of your avatar.


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## Operafocus

Klavierspieler said:


> Funny; I always assumed you were a guy because of your avatar.


Sorry to disappoint you :lol:


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## Polednice

I don't care in the sense that I hate fat people like they're the scourge of the earth and should maintain jobs that should allow them to be hidden from view, but I do care in the sense that I don't find obese people at all attractive, if only because it suggests unhealthiness.

If I'm watching something where the lead is supposed to be found attractive but I don't, I just acknowledge that someone else does. It then doesn't bother me at all - I can't possibly expect lead roles to always cater to my aesthetic tastes, especially since I don't find half our species attractive in any sense.

"How can anyone find this person attractive?! They're so fat! = "How can anyone find this person attractive?! She's a woman!"


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## Ukko

You have never met a tomboy? Some of them grow up to be Thomasmen.


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## Yoshi

No. Actually sometimes I think I'm the only person who doesn't care about physical appearance at all. When I used to date this man, someone told me: "He looks kinda fat" and I just said: "And your point is? " I'm only interested in the actual person inside to be honest.

When there's an actor/celebrity that people say is attractive, I'll just say: "Well I don't know, I know nothing about this person". :lol:
Yeah... maybe I'm not that normal.


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## TresPicos

HarpsichordConcerto said:


> Disclaimer first: I am discussing physical appearances only, and that implies nothing about inner beauty!
> 
> It's very often a slim figure that attracts a male's attention first, whether or not he realises that consciously or not. Unlike a pretty face, which you admit to being _consciously_ attracted to one, you wouldn't look twice at fat women (unless you are attracted to them). Many beautiful looking women can have rather "average" facial features, but look incredibly sexy overall because of their slim figure and hair. Likewise, women are often attracted to men who have toned physiques. Get my point?


Nope, it's very often a curvy figure that attracts a male's attention first. It's sad that so many women believe that men will not like them if they carry around just one ounce of fat. Slim does not equal sexy. Slim is just slim.


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## Polednice

Jan said:


> I'm only interested in the actual person inside to be honest.


You have a marvellous, unnatural affliction!


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## Ravellian

HarpsichordConcerto said:


> Disclaimer first: I am discussing physical appearances only, and that implies nothing about inner beauty!
> 
> It's very often a slim figure that attracts a male's attention first, whether or not he realises that consciously or not. Unlike a pretty face, which you admit to being _consciously_ attracted to one, you wouldn't look twice at fat women (unless you are attracted to them). Many beautiful looking women can have rather "average" facial features, but look incredibly sexy overall because of their slim figure and hair. Likewise, women are often attracted to men who have toned physiques. Get my point?


I'm not sure I understand your point. A slender figure is generally appealing, yes, but there are plenty of larger women who have very sexy curves and nice boobs. And I find both types of women to be very attractive.


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## Almaviva

Hilltroll72 said:


> From my archaic perspective, Netrebko is buxom, moderately handsome, and 'cleans up good'.


Archaic is the word!:devil:

P.S. Alma used to like Hilltroll72. A lot. Not anymore.

:lol:


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## Almaviva

mamascarlatti said:


> Whaaat? She looks perfectly normal to me!!!


Normal????

Normal????

What do you mean, normal????:scold:

She's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay above the norm!!! She's a GODDESS!!!!


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## mamascarlatti

Almaviva said:


> She's a GODDESS!!!!


Yes, and well within the normal weight range even for goddesses!


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## clavichorder

TresPicos said:


> Nope, it's very often a curvy figure that attracts a male's attention first. It's sad that so many women believe that men will not like them if they carry around just one ounce of fat. Slim does not equal sexy. Slim is just slim.


On this topic, there's a certain ratio actually having to do with the hip to waste men tend to be most sexually attracted to.

As for myself, I have a certain "type" that I tend to think I'm attracted to but this type I refer to is just as much a personality as a way someone looks, though sometimes I convince myself I can see the personality in the appearance, but its only trustworthy in real life and not through pictures. Though many of my crushes have fallen outside this preconceived notion, its more based on personality but looks are a part of the package.

My greatest crush(for lack of a better word), grew on me, it wasn't an overwhelming immediate physical attraction.


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## Lukecash12

I dated a woman who was overweight, just after high school, and I couldn't tell she was pregnant until a month or two after we had broken up. And I only broke up with her because she was clingy. But I have to admit that I have some health standards, because someone whose life centers around food or anything else unhealthy will just depress me and make me feel liable for the behavior.

Shaved legs, and general self maintenance is nice too. I remember when my older brother got drunk and hooked up with a bigger lady, around the time he was 18. That girl was *hairier than him*!



Operafocus said:


> My reply will be divided in two on this one.
> 
> When it comes to men I like to *watch*, I'll gladly go for Hugh Jackman running around naked in Wolverine (I've seen it twice now but do I know what it's about? No. Is it great? Yes) for entertainment. I'll gladly look at a nicely shaped man and grin sheepishly to myself.
> 
> But would I want to *be with* a man who's obsessed about training and dieting and working out and running and weights and so on? Hell, I'd rather stick myself in the eye with a fork repeatedly!
> 
> I tend to like men who are ever so slightly "on the large side". I don't know what it is, but there's something really sexy about a man who has a larger frame. To illustrate what I mean with a video:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bodyshape-wise, the baritone is what I find appealing in a man. Someone with a large frame, a big chest etc. I'm sure a lot of women will find the tenor appealing, considering he's probably pretty fit underneath his shirt there, but I'd go for the bear every time. I dunno why, really.
> 
> My partner is relatively stocky built with a little belly on him, and it suits me juuuuuuust fine


The baritone man's face, eyes, and smile are more attractive.


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## presto

I don't like the look of skinny women, I personally like curvy figures, I don't mind a little bit of fat on a woman but too much is a turn off!
I think Christina Hendricks is absolutely perfect!


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## violadude

I actually like a girl to be kind of chubby, that kind of chubby where they still look thin but they do have some fat and you can notice it if their shirt is off. My girlfriend has some chub on her stomach and I love grabbing onto it when were sleeping  lol


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## regressivetransphobe

presto said:


> I don't like the look of skinny women, I personally like curvy figures, I don't mind a little bit of fat on a woman but too much is a turn off!
> I think Christina Hendricks is absolutely perfect!


She looks like a cartoon.

Women, _please_ don't try to look like someone you're not.


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## samurai

violadude said:


> I actually like a girl to be kind of chubby, that kind of chubby where they still look thin but they do have some fat and you can notice it if their shirt is off. My girlfriend has some chub on her stomach and I love grabbing onto it when were sleeping  lol


I think the German term is *zaftig*, which is a characteristic in females {whom I like} that can be very attractive, IMHO.


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## Almaviva

samurai said:


> I think the German term is *zaftig*, which is a characteristic in females {whom I like} that can be very attractive, IMHO.


 But I thought that zaftig was rather belittling, no? Or is it a sort of term of endearment?


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## samurai

regressivetransphobe said:


> She looks like a cartoon.
> 
> Women, _please_ don't try to look like someone you're not.


I don't know, that redhead looks pretty good to me!


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## Philip

presto said:


> I don't like the look of skinny women, I personally like curvy figures, I don't mind a little bit of fat on a woman but too much is a turn off!
> I think Christina Hendricks is absolutely perfect!


that picture doesn't do her justice... much better:


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## samurai

Almaviva said:


> But I thought that zaftig was rather belittling, no? Or is it a sort of term of endearment?


I always thought of it as a term of endearment, but I am certainly no expert on the German language and its idiomatic expressions, let alone any others, including English. Perhaps some of our more learned colleagues on this forum might know the answer.


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## samurai

Who is that redhead anyway? I find her to be most attractive!


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## presto

regressivetransphobe said:


> She looks like a cartoon.
> 
> Women, _please_ don't try to look like someone you're not.


I bet there're thousands of beautiful figures hiding under layers of unnecessary and unhealthy fat.
A great shame but the consequence of an increasingly over weight population.


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## Lenfer

presto said:


> I don't like the look of skinny women, I personally like curvy figures, I don't mind a little bit of fat on a woman but too much is a turn off!
> I think Christina Hendricks is absolutely perfect!


I don't think that dress fits her very well...

Or are they trying to escape?


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## Lenfer

Deleted this post will update soon.


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## Ravellian

You don't care for the whole 'bursting out at the top' look, Lenfer?


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## CountessAdele

I think everybody, male and female, should just strive for healthy. I don't remember where but I heard somewhere that health=beauty or vice versa. Personally if I had to choose between an overweight guy or an underweight guy, I'd take the former any day! 
As to what men find attractive in women, I've always been lead to believe they do want curves but "all in the right places" i.e. 36'' 24'' 36'' if she's 5'3.


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## Lenfer

Ravellian said:


> You don't care for the whole 'bursting out at the top' look, Lenfer?


Never really thought about it before but then I saw another picture of her after I saw. This same night but worse! Any bigger and by law they would get a seat (or two) at the UN...

What is she thinking?


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