# Misleading description of operas - Humor



## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Strauss's Salome: some find it too lovey-dovey sweet.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

Couchie said:


> Could also try Strauss's Salome, although some find it too lovey-dovey sweet.


I try to keep a grip on my feelings, but the scene with the little lost puppy turns me into a puddle of tears every time.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

amfortas said:


> I try to keep a grip on my feelings, but the scene with the little lost puppy turns me into a puddle of tears every time.


 What get's me moved every time is the lovely scene where we see Salome being very playful with her boyfriend's face at the end. I love these romantic comedies when a previously tough guy falls head first for his gal.


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

Couchie said:


> Could also try Strauss's Salome, although some find it too lovey-dovey sweet.


There's nothing quite like a good family comedy, right up there with Don Carlo and the closest family of all, the folks in Die Walkure.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

The ultimate light, uplifting opera is The Death of Klinghoffer. Don't let the title fool you, novice; it's one of those relaxing vacation/cruise stories.


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## Aksel (Dec 3, 2010)

Almaviva said:


> The ultimate light, uplifting opera is The Death of Klinghoffer. Don't let the title fool you, novice; it's one of those relaxing vacation/cruise stories.


Not to forget_ Dialogues des carmélites_, which is as close to a chick flick you'll ever get in opera. It's like Gilmore Girls only set in a convent. Perfect for a lazy summer afternoon.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Hehehe, we should make a thread out of this topic: sadistic misleading descriptions of operas for the purpose of fooling the novice. I won't start it, though. Lately my attempts at humor have backfired.


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## Aksel (Dec 3, 2010)

Almaviva said:


> Hehehe, we should make a thread out of this topic: sadistic misleading descriptions of operas for the purpose of fooling the novice. I won't start it, though. Lately my attempts at humor have backfired.


Well, I think you'll be fine with that one. Sounds like a smashing idea.


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## GoneBaroque (Jun 16, 2011)

Almaviva said:


> Hehehe, we should make a thread out of this topic: sadistic misleading descriptions of operas for the purpose of fooling the novice. I won't start it, though. Lately my attempts at humor have backfired.


Sounds like fun. I'll have what my warped mind can come up with. I'll Be Back.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Rosenkavalier was a serious suggestion, if you can get over the small hurdle of the through-written german sometimes coming at you at 200 words-per-minute with eccentric orchestration, it is as delightful a romp and as heartfelt as Figaro.


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## MAuer (Feb 6, 2011)

Some operas for the "family values" crowd: _Lulu_, _Salome_, _Tristan und Isolde_, _L'Incoronazione di Poppea_, and _Die Walküre_, just to name a few . . .


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Couchie said:


> Rosenkavalier was a serious suggestion, if you can get over the small hurdle of the through-written german sometimes coming at you at 200 words-per-minute with eccentric orchestration, it is as delightful a romp and as heartfelt as Figaro.


 I know, it's just that I couldn't split your recommendation lest I mutilated your post.
But since you seem to endorse the change and the start of this new thread seems awkward, I'll *will* edit it, then. You may want to go back there to the other thread and re-post your Rosenkavalier recommendation, then.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

If you liked _The Sound of Music,_ you'll *love* _Wozzeck_!


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## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

*Rheingold*

Don't worry about any debt, don't give a d*mn about the world around you, to hell with the _fffff_Chinese and let all people flee with their precious votes to the Tea party ladies who will look after our (_Rhein_)gold. Don't nag, don't feel anxious, it's safe with them!


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

*Boris Godunov*

You might remember this guy from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show; however, moose and squirrel aren't in this opera, and neither is Natasha. The opera is a comedy about how Boris gets promoted to a job that overwhelms him. There's lots of laughs from all the characters except for a pious monk, Varlaam. The opera ends with a wonderful romp in the forest.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

waldvogel said:


> *Boris Godunov*
> 
> You might remember this guy from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show; however, moose and squirrel aren't in this opera, and neither is Natasha. The opera is a comedy about how Boris gets promoted to a job that overwhelms him. There's lots of laughs from all the characters except for a pious monk, Varlaam. The opera ends with a wonderful romp in the forest.


Natasha went to Prokofiev's _War and Peace_; moose and squirrel ended up in _The Cunning Little Vixen_.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Almaviva said:


> I know, it's just that I couldn't split your recommendation lest I mutilated your post.
> But since you seem to endorse the change and the start of this new thread seems awkward, I'll *will* edit it, then. You may want to go back there to the other thread and re-post your Rosenkavalier recommendation, then.


Buh, Bah-Buh Buh, Buh Buh Buuuuuuuuuuuuh? NEEHARH-WEEHARAHA WHEEEEEEE, DUHH WEEEEE, A DAH ARH LAH DEEEE!


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

^LOL, green monster crying out loud. I thought that given his muscles, it was a sort of macho monster. Guess not.

OK, back to the description for novices:

Don't miss Médée (Medea), it's a touching, sweet story of maternal love for her two adorable children. Don't forget to bring your small children with you; they will identify themselves with Medea's children and will love it. Great family fun!


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

Couchie said:


> Buh, Bah-Buh Buh, Buh Buh Buuuuuuuuuuuuh? NEEHARH-WEEHARAHA WHEEEEEEE, DUHH WEEEEE, A DAH ARH LAH DEEEE!


Naaaaah, Na Na Na Na Naah Na Naah (Buh, Bah-Buh Buh, Buh Buh Buuuuuuuuuuuuh) Naaaaah, Na Na Na Na Naah Na Naah (Buh, Bah-Buh Buh, Buh Buh Buuuuuuuuuuuuh) Naaaaah, Na Na Na Na Naah Na Naah NA - NA - NA - NAAAAAH.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

BLOOOOOOOOH! Bah-rooh Bah-rooh Bah-rooh Bah-rooh BAHROOOOOOH, Nooh Dah rooh Dah rooh dah rooh BAH BAH BAH BLOOH baaaah-dooooo.... NuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhNuhnuhnuhNuhnuhnuhNuhnnuhNuhnuhnuhnuhn-dooh,digadoo?- NuhnuhnuhnuhuhnuhnuhnuhnNuhNuhnnuhnuhnuh - i give up


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

Couchie said:


> BLOOOOOOOOH! Bah-rooh Bah-rooh Bah-rooh Bah-rooh BAHROOOOOOH, Nooh Dah rooh Dah rooh dah rooh BAH BAH BAH BLOOH baaaah-dooooo.... NuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhNuhnuhnuhNuhnuhnuhNuhnnuhNuhnuhnuhnuhn-dooh,digadoo?- NuhnuhnuhnuhuhnuhnuhnuhnNuhNuhnnuhnuhnuh - i give up


I think we've found a whole new, superior notation system. The musical world will thank us.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

couchie said:


> nuhnuhnuhnuhuhnuhnuhnuhnnuhnuhnnuhnuhnuh -


Batman !!!!!!


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

*The Bartered Bride*

A terrifying story about human trafficking, set in Eastern Europe. Graphic scenes of massive alcohol consumption and cruelty to animals.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

amfortas said:


> I think we've found a whole new, superior notation system. The musical world will thank us.


I agree. We just need to develop a universal standard for which nonsense syllable corresponds to which pitch, and how long to stretch the vowels for note durations!


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## Aksel (Dec 3, 2010)

If you liked _Meet the Family_, you'll LOVE _Die Walküre_!


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

*Billy Budd*

Hijinks on the high seas! Vere and Billy act like the Skipper and Gilligan in this naval laugh-fest. You'll be left hanging in suspense waiting for the surprise ending!


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

*The Barber of Seville*

In this horror, an autocratic oligarch and his accomplice, a straight-razor wielding thug, steal the property and ruin the reputation of an innocent man of medicine.


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## amfortas (Jun 15, 2011)

waldvogel said:


> *The Barber of Seville*
> 
> In this horror, an autocratic oligarch and his accomplice, *a straight-razor wielding thug*, steal the property and ruin the reputation of an innocent man of medicine.


Now then, my friend.
Now to your purpose. 
Patience, enjoy it. 
Revenge can't be taken in haste.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Rigoletto is, like the name indicates, a light comedy about a clown and his daughter, and how even lowborn women can have a relationship with noblemen. It is famous for having introduced modernity in opera, chanting the advantages of cell phones for women, in the famous aria "La Donna è Mobile," although some scholars sustain that it's not about mobile phones, but rather social mobility as Gilda succeeds in her plan to bed the Duke.


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## rgz (Mar 6, 2010)

Die, Zauberflote! -- The epic tale of revenge as innocent Tamino gets vengeance against his arch-enemy, the evil Mr. Zauberflote, and his wife Konigin. Far superior to its sequels Die, Fledermaus! and Die, Walkure!


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

amfortas said:


> Now then, my friend.
> Now to your purpose.
> Patience, enjoy it.
> Revenge can't be taken in haste.


Is that from Sweeney Todd or the Barber of Seville?


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

*Hansel und Gretel*

Two children are neglected by their parents to the point of starvation and threatened with physical violence. They venture out in search of food. They accept drugs from a vagrant and lose consciousness. Another vagrant arrives and gives the children a stimulant drug, which triggers a blood-curdling act of cruelty.

When offered hospitality by a kindly, defenseless old woman, they proceed to burn her alive. This human sacrifice is rationalized by constantly referring to God's approval of their actions.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

*DER RING DES NIBELUNGEN *

The characteristic theme the of the "Ring Cycle" is the difference between society and culture. Wagner makes a strong case that we have to choose between postcultural capitalist theory and capitalist desituationism. The fatal flaw, and eventually the absurdity, of expressionism prevalent in Wagner's Tristan und Isolde is also evident in the final moments of Götterdämmerung.

If one examines deconstructive dematerialism, one is faced with a choice: either reject Marxist capitalism or conclude that language is capable of significance. However, the main theme of Wagner's critique of postcultural capitalist theory is not narrative, as Lacanist obscurity suggests, but subnarrative. Wagner goes on to promote the use of deconstructive dematerialism to modify and read sexual identity.

It could be said that the subject is contextualised into a postcultural capitalist theory that includes reality as a reality. The characteristic theme of the work is the role of the poet as participant.

In a sense, the Ring itself is interpolated into a expressionism that includes sexuality as a whole. The premise of deconstructive dematerialism suggests that consciousness may be used to reinforce sexism, given that narrativity is distinct from truth. If postcultural capitalist theory holds, we have to choose between the semantic paradigm of discourse and Foucaultist power relations.

The influence of Der Ring Des Nibelungen can be seen in the Marx's use of 'deconstructive dematerialism' to denote not theory, but neotheory, and also in Bataille's model of postcultural capitalist theory that holds that the Constitution is capable of significant form.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

waldvogel said:


> *Hansel und Gretel*
> 
> Two children are neglected by their parents to the point of starvation and threatened with physical violence. They venture out in search of food. They accept drugs from a vagrant and lose consciousness. Another vagrant arrives and gives the children a stimulant drug, which triggers a blood-curdling act of cruelty.
> 
> When offered hospitality by a kindly, defenseless old woman, they proceed to burn her alive. This human sacrifice is rationalized by constantly referring to God's approval of their actions.


Hehehe, the funny thing is that this description *is* sort of true.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Couchie said:


> *DER RING DES NIBELUNGEN *
> 
> The characteristic theme the of the "Ring Cycle" is the difference between society and culture. Wagner makes a strong case that we have to choose between postcultural capitalist theory and capitalist desituationism. The fatal flaw, and eventually the absurdity, of expressionism prevalent in Wagner's Tristan und Isolde is also evident in the final moments of Götterdämmerung.
> 
> ...


You know, all of the above can be much easier said by the Marxist deconstructive dematerialized Lacanian maxim, "One Ring to Rule them All." This is why some scholars believe that The Ring of the Nibelung is just the prequel of those two other deconstructive dematerialized sagas whose maxims are "To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before" and "May the Force Be with You."


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Almaviva said:


> You know, all of the above can be much easier said by the Marxist deconstructive dematerialized Lacanian maxim, "One Ring to Rule them All." This is why some scholars believe that The Ring of the Nibelung is just the prequel of those two other deconstructive dematerialized sagas whose maxims are "To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before" and "May the Force Be with You."


While the idea of the Ring as prequel is elegant it is not completely coherent, as Wagner's analysis of the materialist paradigm of expression is a self-falsifying totality. In addition, it ultimately denotes the collapse, and hence the rubicon, of a deconstructivist class-based hierarchy. We can therefore can't interpret it as a precultural narrative unless it also includes language as a reality, which implies that the truth is capable of significance.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Couchie said:


> While the idea of the Ring as prequel is elegant it is not completely coherent, as Wagner's analysis of the materialist paradigm of expression is a self-falsifying totality. In addition, it ultimately denotes the collapse, and hence the rubicon, of a deconstructivist class-based hierarchy. We can therefore can't interpret it as a precultural narrative unless it also includes language as a reality, which implies that the truth is capable of significance.


The above was only valid before the Klingons started to compose opera. Klingon opera completely derails the philosophical fundamentals of your assertion. It's been proven by the Klingons that at Warp speed self-falsifying totality doesn't apply. Apparently inside a worm hole truth is not capable of significance.


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## World Violist (May 31, 2007)

Saint Francois d'Assise:

This guy walks around, does some stuff, talks to a few angels, and dies.

It's a comedy.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Lulu - it's a spicy romantic comedy. This chick experiments with a few partners unsuccessfuly until she finds her ideal mate, the guy who grabs her by her stomach. No, he's not a chef-de-cuisine, I won't tell you what he does otherwise I'd spoil it for ya. But I guess it does involve some kitchen knives.


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

Almaviva said:


> Lulu - it's a spicy romantic comedy. This chick experiments with a few partners unsuccessfuly until she finds her ideal mate, the guy who grabs her by her stomach. No, he's not a chef-de-cuisine, I won't tell you what he does otherwise I'd spoil it for ya. But I guess it does involve some kitchen knives.


What, kind of "Masterchef" meets "Friends"? Sounds cool.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

mamascarlatti said:


> What, kind of "Masterchef" meets "Friends"? Sounds cool.


 It's more like "Criminal Intent" meets "Criminal Minds." Oops, darn, I said I didn't want to spoil it!


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Almaviva said:


> The above was only valid before the Klingons started to compose opera. Klingon opera completely derails the philosophical fundamentals of your assertion. It's been proven by the Klingons that at Warp speed self-falsifying totality doesn't apply. Apparently inside a worm hole truth is not capable of significance.


Sorry, but this just sounds like pseudo-intellectual obfuscatory confucianism.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Couchie said:


> Sorry, but this just sounds like pseudo-intellectual obfuscatory confucianism.


 Well, that's why the Klingons have their opera houses outside of the worm holes, and they only sing opera when they're not at Warp speed.
So given these FACTS (not opinion) you can see it's not pseudo-intellectual obfuscatory Confucianism at all. There!ut:


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Almaviva said:


> Well, that's why the Klingons have their opera houses outside of the worm holes, and they only sing opera when they're not at Warp speed.
> So given these FACTS (not opinion) you can see it's not pseudo-intellectual obfuscatory Confucianism at all. There!ut:


Ugh, amateur. You take no regard for limiting nuisances like 'facts' in postmodern analyses.


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

You're wrong as far as operas go. This is true for other topics in postmodern analysis, but not for operas. See, operas *contain* facts. Just forget the f and notice that operas have acts. It's almost the same thing. Who cares for the f? I say, f off.


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## sospiro (Apr 3, 2010)

Almaviva said:


> You're wrong as far as operas go. This is true for other topics in postmodern analysis, but not for operas. See, operas *contain* facts. Just forget the f and notice that operas have acts. It's almost the same thing. Who cares for the f? I say, f off.




I can't believe you've told my Couchie to f off. I am outraged. I think he has good reason to call you out sir.


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

Don't encourage them. There'll be rotting fish all over the place.


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## Couchie (Dec 9, 2010)

Almaviva said:


> You're wrong as far as operas go. This is true for other topics in postmodern analysis, but not for operas. See, operas *contain* facts. Just forget the f and notice that operas have acts. It's almost the same thing. Who cares for the f? I say, f off.


Unless you can explain where the f goes, and provide a proof for the irreversibility of the f-ing off, this is in violation of the 2nd law of thermodynamics as made relevant in the Poincaré recurrence theorem.


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

*Wozzeck*

Watch the escapades of Private Wozzeck in this army comedy! See how his loyal girlfriend Marie waits for his return! And laugh with the hilarious trio of the Doctor, the Captain, and the Drum Major.

It's family-friendly, of course. Your kids will be singing "hop-hop" as they leave the theatre!


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

sospiro said:


> I can't believe you've told my Couchie to f off. I am outraged. I think he has good reason to call you out sir.


 Me? Have I told Couchie to f off? No, I was merely taking the f off of the facts.:angel:
Oh well I guess I didn't realize the pun I was unintentionally :angel: making. [Alma crosses his finger].


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## Almaviva (Aug 13, 2010)

Couchie said:


> Unless you can explain where the f goes, and provide a proof for the irreversibility of the f-ing off, this is in violation of the 2nd law of thermodynamics as made relevant in the Poincaré recurrence theorem.


 Tsk, tsk, how musically unsophisticated!
You're telling me you didn't know that all Klingon operas are composed in F major, the home key of the Klingon Horn???
*That's* where the F goes, duh!


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## World Violist (May 31, 2007)

Almaviva said:


> Tsk, tsk, how musically unsophisticated!
> You're telling me you didn't know that all Klingon operas are composed in F major, the home key of the Klingon Horn???
> *That's* where the F goes, duh!


Oh, that's where I put the house key...


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## waldvogel (Jul 10, 2011)

*Elektra*

Three fun-loving young teens have to adjust to a new stepdad. They bicker with each other about the statement "Mom always liked you the best!". But you know that things will work out, 'cause girls just wanna have fun!

This warm family comedy was written by Strauss, so you know it will be filled with wonderful waltzes. Just try not to dance in the aisles at the climax of THIS opera!


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## World Violist (May 31, 2007)

The Ring cycle: It's your typical generation-gap fairytale, pitting eternal gods against the very loud musings of the infantile ant-like critters scampering over their creation, fighting over who gets to rule the world. There is violence (VIOLENCE...), sex (SEX...), and death (DEATH...) in this over-the-top musical extravaganza by your favorite proto-Nazi anti-semite with all-encompassing delusions of grandeur but with no resources with which to act upon them, RICHARD WAGNER!!!

Coming to opera halls, movie-theaters, and mythical puddles near you...SOON...

Thisoperaisnotyetrated.


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