# piano trio rondo in g major (first draft, need feedback)



## lachlan1415 (Jul 30, 2018)

I've started working on a rondo (ABACA) for my a-level composition.

I've so far completed the ABA section and am planning to include a fugue in the C section, encapsulating the main thematic ideas of this piece. It's far from complete but I would love it if you could give me some feedback and your thoughts.


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

The stems in the treble are in the wrong directions in bar 7, which causes interferences. The rhythm in the treble in bar 12 sounds a bit weird to me with the triplets on the left hand, since dotted eighth notes are not on the strong beat. I think if you moved it back with the sixteenth notes starting at the end of bar 11, it'd work better.


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## Vasks (Dec 9, 2013)

Phil loves classical said:


> The rhythm in the treble in bar 12 sounds a bit weird to me with the triplets on the left hand, since dotted eighth notes are not on the strong beat.


Have to disagree Phil. He's/She's done a Scottish Snap correctly and it sounds fine to me.

After the first phrase of the string entrance, give the cello more to do than just half notes.

m.39 is a G# minor chord. Give all instruments sharps.

There's more but I have no time


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

I'm thinking it is the incomplete neighbor together with the leap in the bass or direction that I feel uncomfortable with, but it sounds fine when I anticipate the dotted eighth. I experimented, and prefer this second solution. Maybe I wanted a different left hand pattern together with the break in rhythm.


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## Vasks (Dec 9, 2013)

The next two comments with my previous one about m. 39. all involve realizing that your harmony is dealing with sharps, not flats. Yes, sometimes chords mix both accidentals but only a few now and then. You must learn more about music theory.

m. 34 - chord is F#m. Change Db to C#. 

m. 38 - This chord is a secondary leading tone seventh going to a G#m chord in m.39. Therefore it is F double sharp, A#, C#, E, Watch the bass line rising up from 37-39 (F#, F##, G#)

mss.49-52 - This agitated transition either should be lengthened or have a grand pause before the new theme. You have a fermata but your playback is ignoring it. That may be OK, but silence works better as playback will give you a silent empty measure. If you keep the fermata you might consider dropping out all other voices so that only the melody note D# is a long fermata. Why? Because all that loud agitation plowing right into a soft new theme doesn’t set it up.


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## Swosh (Feb 25, 2018)

I just love this piece so much man. I know it's going to be great!!!!


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## lachlan1415 (Jul 30, 2018)

Phil loves classical said:


> I'm thinking it is the incomplete neighbor together with the leap in the bass or direction that I feel uncomfortable with, but it sounds fine when I anticipate the dotted eighth. I experimented, and prefer this second solution. Maybe I wanted a different left hand pattern together with the break in rhythm.


Thank you for taking the time and effort to create your own version and upload it to youtube! I will definitely take your advice into consideration and perhaps incorporate it in the final return of the A section 

Also, how did you manage to dim the pedal? The pedal in my playback smudges the harmonies but yours seems perfect.


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## lachlan1415 (Jul 30, 2018)

Vasks said:


> The next two comments with my previous one about m. 39. all involve realizing that your harmony is dealing with sharps, not flats. Yes, sometimes chords mix both accidentals but only a few now and then. You must learn more about music theory.
> 
> m. 34 - chord is F#m. Change Db to C#.
> 
> ...


Thanks for your suggestions. I've never taken any formal theory exams and don't really know when to appropriately use a flat or a sharp. It's ironic because I actually originally had silence for measures 49-52 and did exactly what your comment said. However, when my music teacher reviewed my composition, he said the silence was awkward, and that I should fill it!

I guess it's good to have multiple perspectives.

Thank you again for your time


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

lachlan1415 said:


> Thank you for taking the time and effort to create your own version and upload it to youtube! I will definitely take your advice into consideration and perhaps incorporate it in the final return of the A section
> 
> Also, how did you manage to dim the pedal? The pedal in my playback smudges the harmonies but yours seems perfect.


I think what you did is fine, just felt a bit rigid with the unchanging left hand pattern. I don't know with the pedal. It's just Musescore.


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