# Do your friends share your love and admiration for classical music?



## helenora (Sep 13, 2015)

Do your friends share your love and admiration for classical music?

Today in one the threads on TC this topic evolved and I realized that none of my friends loves classical music. Well, some of them know some CM pieces and they like them , but generally it's not their type of music, let's say like that.

well, yes, tell me who your friend is and I'll tell you who you are. It's quite inapplicable in this case 

it would be all good and well if only from time to time I have a strong desire to share something with them expecting them to feel the same about it ( how naive all those attempts! ) and what I get at the most is "well, it's nice, I love music" - and here it means generally they love listening to music, whatever kind of music 

let alone those cases when music I like leaves them completely indifferent ...before , years ago it almost hurt me - how come they don't get it? ....now I've almost left all my hopes about it, about the fact that they will get it one day, will feel the same - nope, that's hopeless. Of course they are friends and other interests are in common, but as for CM it's a hopeless matter....I know it now.

What is your situation?
Do your friends and close ones understand CM ?


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## MoonlightSonata (Mar 29, 2014)

Some of them do, but not all. There are always more CM lovers around than I expect!


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

None whatsoever. My wife can tolerate it. Two friends share my other main music love, prog.


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## Ingélou (Feb 10, 2013)

I'm in my third age & had a university education. When I was at university, only my music student friends liked classical music. 

I only turned to classical music myself after retirement. Friends of my own age who are graduates - quite a few like classical music and go to concerts. I have friends of my own age who didn't go to university and they are not classical music fans. 

But I think all the friends I have seem to be fond of some sort of music - a lot are friends from Scottish dancing, my neighbours are ballroom dancers, and an old schoolfriend is passionate about Argentinian tango.


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## James Mann (Sep 6, 2016)

I'm in my 50s, the only friends I have are my wife and my employees. My wife loves contempary classical music for what it's worth, though I myself am a romantic.


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese (Jan 8, 2013)

My wife like Opera, me not so much............


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## Kivimees (Feb 16, 2013)

Friends generally not, family generally yes.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

We do have several friends which whom we attend regular concerts and other ones opera lover for The Metropolitan transmissions.
Making a night of it, little diner afterwards. Those who don't like classical do share my partners second love; Jazz.


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## schigolch (Jun 26, 2011)

I know many people that are fans of classical music. Some of them are old pals from Musical School. Some are coming from a couple of Opera fan groups I belong to. And some I just met for other, non-musical, reasons and they happened to like classical music, too.

The youngest of them, is a fifteen years old girl. The oldest, a senior gentleman of ninety-six. Some are quite rich, some just struggle to make ends meet. Some are leftist, some are conservative, some don't mind politics. Some are religious, some are agnostics, some are plain atheists.

Classical music is for everybody, mostly in this blessed period when any piece is just one click away from you.


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## TwoFlutesOneTrumpet (Aug 31, 2011)

Nope. That's why I'm on TC. I've had the following comments from my friends:

"I like classical music. I love that Phantom of the Opera!"

"Yeah, I like it. I love the Lord of the Rings symphony"

"Why don't you listen to more variety? All that classical music is all the same?"

"What do you mean Star Trek theme isn't classical music? Isn't it played by an orchestra?"

"Nice taste in music, grandpa!"


Needless to say, these people are no longer my friends  The amount of ignorance about classical music is staggering.


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## znapschatz (Feb 28, 2016)

Wife, definitely; of friends, some do, others don't. We always have people who like it well enough to attend concerts with us, but fewer who can sit through an opera. It is no issue for me. I don't proselytize.


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## Blancrocher (Jul 6, 2013)

Yeah ... whether they want to or not.


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## helenora (Sep 13, 2015)

TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> Nope. That's why I'm on TC. I've had the following comments from my friends:
> 
> "I like classical music. I love that Phantom of the Opera!"
> 
> ...


and I have to compromise..... it's weird indeed



TwoFlutesOneTrumpet said:


> *The amount of ignorance about classical music is staggering.*


 right, that's true


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## Vesteralen (Jul 14, 2011)

I had a friend who suffered from a debilitating condition that eventually resulted in his death. I could have long, long discussions with him about music. We didn't always share the same taste - he loved opera and Wagner, I was more heavily into instrumental music. But, I miss that communication. I know no one else that could take his place.

My wife and I both like a wide variety of music, but she lacks the genetic tendency toward obsessiveness that I have. Good thing.

At different times in the past, I tried to use TC to fill the void, but, unfortunately, I seem to have lost the knack of how to interact on-line (if I ever had it).


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## Pat Fairlea (Dec 9, 2015)

Mrs Pat and I share similar tastes in CM - that's what 40 years of marriage does. She doesn't share my liking for Stephan Grapelli and I don't share hers for Genesis and Steeleye Span.
Friends largely not interested in CM. Their loss!


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## Dedalus (Jun 27, 2014)

Nope. I've not once met a person in real life that knew about or listened to classical music. I mention it at least in passing often when people ask about my interests, but nobody has ever really picks up on that particular thing to talk about. Really I by default tend to assume a given person knows nothing about classical music, and that's fine. It's like my hobby of playing the game of Go. Nobody knows what it is in the west for the most part, and really most people don't care. It's ok, kind of annoying I guess. It makes it difficult to explain your interests whenever people simply know nothing about them.


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## Bulldog (Nov 21, 2013)

My wife can tolerate classical for a few minutes at a time; my brother is a big fan, mostly of the histrionic side of romantic-era music. Nobody else I know wants anything to do with it. That's okay - I didn't want any of it from my teenage years into my mid-thirites.


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## Antiquarian (Apr 29, 2014)

I have a few friends that love and enjoy classical music. A few I've met at concerts or parties and keep in touch with them by phone or email. Circumstances change, and I really have lost touch with some of them. Sigh, now I feel so guilty...


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

No. Nobody I know is nuts about classical music like I am. I work with some who listen to classical but cannot name individual pieces or even bother to buy any music, but just listen to whatever comes on the classical radio program or the concerts in their season tickets--yes two of them actually buy season tickets to symphony orchestras and don't care enough to buy any individual works on CD (or even downloads). It is beyond my comprehension.


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## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

Florestan said:


> No. Nobody I know is nuts about classical music like I am. I work with some who listen to classical but cannot name individual pieces or even bother to buy any music, but just listen to whatever comes on the classical radio program or the concerts in their season tickets--yes two of them actually buy season tickets to symphony orchestras and don't care enough to buy any individual works on CD (or even downloads). It is beyond my comprehension.


As long it doesn't influence your enjoyment, keep listening.


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## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)

Pugg said:


> As long it doesn't influence your enjoyment, keep listening.


Thankfully I have many at TalkClassical who are as nuts about classical music as I am.


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## Heliogabo (Dec 29, 2014)

I have one friend, yes, we share some taste for classical music, jazz and books, generally, not always, and that's good. It's been 20 years of friendship like this. Other friends simply don't share this passions. Is not a problem.
Problems I have with my wife, if we can share some taste for classical and enjoy to attending concerts together we have our limits. She's a romantic above all, and love Mahler (as I do) and we can enjoy together some classical era stuff, she can tolerate baroque and early music (that I love), but she hate Messiaen, Schoenberg, Scelsi, and other favorite composers of mine, and some jazz that she calls "free" (when it's hard bop, free bop, or real free, it sounds equally for her). She loves "salsa music" and I hate it. She's kind enough not to play it when I'm near. I imagine love is above all things we share or we don't.


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## Antiquarian (Apr 29, 2014)

Florestan said:


> two of them actually buy season tickets to symphony orchestras and don't care enough to buy any individual works on CD (or even downloads). It is beyond my comprehension.


With respect, I know quite a few people who have season tickets to symphony orchestras who have only a passing knowledge of classical music, but only go because it's socially expedient, that is to say they go because it's good form to do so (to impress, or to feign sophistication, ect.) I'm sure your friends aren't of this type, but they do exist.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

Mostly, no. My closest friends as of yet, are by and large not into it anywhere near like I am. A few exceptions who can 'hang out /chill', but for whatever reason my social and my classical sides seem to have a gulf between them. I'm like an autistic obsessive with classical music sometimes, and when I let that go and am more 'myself' I have friends who accept the 'general me.' Eyes start rolling and boredom ensues if I talk about classical music. By the same token, it is probably a social or personal short coming of mine, but I can't seem to connect personally with lots of 'classical music people.' Maybe it's an ego thing. Maybe if I become a better musician and learn to chill out about classical music, not have it be some kind of searing me me me obsession, I can make friends in that field just like I can with basic human connections. :

It'd be nice if some of us folks into arts could learn to be friends with each other. Opinions and egos kill me, especially my own.


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## helenora (Sep 13, 2015)

Antiquarian said:


> With respect, I know quite a few people who have season tickets to symphony orchestras who have only a passing knowledge of classical music, but only go because it's socially expedient, that is to say they go because it's good form to do so (to impress, or to feign sophistication, ect.) I'm sure your friends aren't of this type, but they do exist.


yes, exactly, so many people go to concert hall just because it´s socially expedient, even to Opera, but for some it´s a pure entertainment, spending time nicely, etc.
That´s why now I don´t have so called classical music friends, because for them it´s not a passion, unfortunately. How can be classical music be less than a passion since classical music is a passion itself?

My mom introduced me to this music, but since long ago "a student " overgrew "a teacher", she likes classical music, but well, she likes it, but doesn´t love passionately....


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## Genoveva (Nov 9, 2010)

helenora said:


> ... My mom introduced me to this music, but since long ago "a student " overgrew "a teacher", she likes classical music, but well, she likes it, but doesn´t love passionately....


I put myself in the "love classical music passionately" bracket. I haven't found many other people like me in everyday life, either currently or in the past. The only place I've found is classical music forums. I don't come here primarily either to learn or to preach the classical music "gospel", but mainly to be among like-minded people with the same passion and to chip in every now and then.


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## Judith (Nov 11, 2015)

No. I do feel isolated as I've hardly anyone to share it with. Not even my husband. He will tolerate it but I can't talk to him in depth about it!!


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## Xaltotun (Sep 3, 2010)

I was going to write how no one else shares this passion of mine as a knee-jerk reaction, and then I started thinking... yeah, there are some! An old violinist who loves Mozart, Schubert and Prokofiev; a rock fan who dabbles in CM, a young intellectual who loves baroque and Wagner, another young intellectual who loves solo piano and Scriabin, and my wife who more or less shares my tastes. That's actually a pretty respectable collection!


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## Merl (Jul 28, 2016)

Most of my friends are metalheads / guitar lovers. Only a handful would ever listen to a classical piece and even then it's probably once in a blue moon. I am certainly the only collector of classical music amongst my friends , family and acquaintances (unless I count you lot).

If my mates knew I contributed on here they'd probably take the p*ss so I've never told em.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

I"m reading a lot of no's...

It occurred to me that perhaps if not for the internet, you all wouldn't have known classical either, and thus would have lived happy existences, at one with all the people around you, had not classical come and spoiled the picture. Think about it...

I've sometimes wondered about it... if I would have united with society and also have felt more _love _for it if I simply picked up pop music instead...


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## helenora (Sep 13, 2015)

Huilunsoittaja said:


> I"m reading a lot of no's...
> 
> It occurred to me that perhaps if not for the internet, you all wouldn't have known classical either, and thus would have lived happy existences, at one with all the people around you, had not classical come and spoiled the picture. Think about it...
> 
> I've sometimes wondered about it... if I would have united with society and also have felt more _love _for it if I simply picked up pop music instead...


ัyou say truth, but only your truth 

I must presume that at least half of members of this forum got acquainted with CM before Internet era. Let's say roughly Internet , high speed became wide spread since 2000+, and even later depends on a country. Up until then people learned classical by attending concerts and opera houses ( if they were lucky to have an opera house nearby), listening to vinyl records, playing it by the way on instruments without being professionals etc. Such was an "entertainment" those days, more demanding, less consumer-oriented in its way - because being able to play a piece of music in order to get familiar with it requires some effort from someone who wants to learn it - not like now , just push the button and here it is , well, it's a bit simplified way of explaining and not includes symphonic and opera works, but still , let's say a skill of reading music sheets was required to make it easier to go through bigger works such as orchestra works and operas....

just a brief reply for a broader topic of much more personal engagement with music, even if it's amateurish, more active let's say, not just passive listening ( while even listening can be of different kind, one can be more passive as just being perceived as pleasant sounds and the other is active listening , going along with the music, following it, involving your entire being into listening process without other distractions, which means in this case music would never be an accompaniment for other sort of activities ).


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## Genoveva (Nov 9, 2010)

Merl said:


> If my mates knew I contributed on here they'd probably take the p*ss so I've never told em.


That made me laugh.


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## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

Well, being part of a 70 member male choir (non-professional, mostly pensioner) that is presently sweating its way into Wagner's Pilgrim's Choir (very nasty stuff indeed) I guess I'm surrounded by quite a number of Classical Music aficionados, but we never talk about it. With my wife I share a great love for Russian romance. Soon we'll be travelling by car on the _Autobahn_ and I've prepared 4 USB sticks with eight hours of music each. One is completely filled with Boris Stokolov, Dmitri Hvorostovsky, Oleg Pogudin and Ieromonach Roman: unbelievable quality that never bores!


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## bz3 (Oct 15, 2015)

Nah most of them listen to overproduced and underthought pop, garbled hip hop about drugs and women, or the hideous and deeply offensive refrigerator hum that passes for modern country. I have a few that like metal, prog, jam, and classic rock so I try to work on them. Limited success so far but I'll keep working on it because I like to talk about my interests and I don't like to talk about other peoples' interests.

The problem is that American culture today has done a perfect job of instilling the image connection of boring staid white people with classical music. Compared to the monster trucks and Mac-10 show that all genres of mass-produced corporate music gives to its listeners it's no contest. Aristocratic tastes are out these days, Bach needs more bubbly and hoes and Caddys on dubs if he's going to compete.


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