# Handshakeology & Coffee drinking



## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

Just wondering how TC members analyse the shake of their own handshake & think to extend lengthy life prolongations by drinking coffee. (Main items of the present cucumber season in the Dutch news).


----------



## SiegendesLicht (Mar 4, 2012)

What does one have to do with the other?


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

SiegendesLicht said:


> What does one have to do with the other?


Handshake...cucumber season...:devil:

:lol:


----------



## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

Well, it's the off-season, so silly news items abound. The handshakeological probings how the world leaders press each other's hands is, I guess, quite new... This thread is about cucumbers: please tell about your home-grown items.


----------



## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

mmmmmmmmmmmm.... coffee..............


----------



## SiegendesLicht (Mar 4, 2012)

TxllxT said:


> Well, it's the off-season, so silly news items abound. The handshakeological probings how *the world leaders press each other's hands* is, I guess, quite new... This thread is about cucumbers: please tell about your home-grown items.


*barf* *puke* *throw up* Ughhh... world leaders and their hand-pressing... we have had enough of that last weekend.


----------



## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4679372/Beach-goers-just-hours-left-make-sunshine.html

Killer Heatwave coming in August. But how do you do a TC handshake?


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

TxllxT said:


> http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4679372/Beach-goers-just-hours-left-make-sunshine.html
> 
> Killer Heatwave coming in August. But how do you do a TC handshake?


Given what TCers are known to do with their hands, do you really want to shake one of our hands? :devil:


----------



## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

Well,  let's for a start suppose this: you are standing in front of Beethoven; now, how do you do a TC handshake?


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

TxllxT said:


> Well,  let's for a start suppose this: you are standing in front of Beethoven; now, how do you do a TC handshake?


Beethoven? Give one hand to fist bump maybe while I cover my nose with my shirt sleeve from my other arm! Hopefully that'll keep me from getting a whiff of his B.O.!  Mozart or Bach, well, just a normal handshake. No special science to it. I have a feeling Haydn would have one of those joke buzzers in his hand though! :lol:


----------



## ldiat (Jan 27, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Given what TCers are known to do with their hands, do you really want to shake one of our hands? :devil:


YES! (i will wear gloves)


----------



## JeffD (May 8, 2017)

TxllxT said:


> think to extend lengthy life prolongations by drinking coffee.


People drink coffee for three reasons:

It tastes so darn good.

The caffeine bump is wonderful.

It slows down everyone else.


----------



## Guest (Jul 12, 2017)

I quite like coffee i make at home. I prefer hugs to handshakes. The former seeming a little more friendly and the latter always seems a little more awkward.


----------



## ST4 (Oct 27, 2016)

jms said:


> I quite like coffee i make at home. I prefer hugs to handshakes. The former seeming a little more friendly and the latter always seems a little more awkward.


Bit of a good 'ole family reunion? :lol:


----------



## ST4 (Oct 27, 2016)

I quite literally have all kinds of coffees from different places all throughout the week, I'm quite obviously a coffee addict. Every morning and night I have instant coffee too, cause I need it


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

I hate it when people shake my hand too firmly with a vigorous squeeze. I'm a piano teacher and accompanist - my hands are my livelihood! Please don't crush my hand in your attempt to appear confident and friendly! :lol:


----------



## ST4 (Oct 27, 2016)

SiegendesLicht said:


> What does one have to do with the other?


I have no idea, so I've overtook this thread. It's now a coffee discussion thread


----------



## Pugg (Aug 8, 2014)

TxllxT said:


> Just wondering how TC members analyse the shake of their own handshake & think to extend lengthy life prolongations by drinking coffee. (Main items of the present cucumber season in the Dutch news).


Just as it should, firm but friendly or businesslike if necessary.


----------



## ST4 (Oct 27, 2016)

Bettina said:


> I hate it when people shake my hand too firmly with a vigorous squeeze. I'm a piano teacher and accompanist - my hands are my livelihood! Please don't crush my hand in your attempt to appear confident and friendly! :lol:


I know several instances of that happening. "Hand clamp please?"


----------



## ST4 (Oct 27, 2016)

Btw, does anyone actually get a handshake when they order a coffee? that'd be really strange.


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Klassik's Lessons from TC's Community Forum #157: When kissing an unknown woman's hand, consider whether the woman may have genital warts.


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> I hate it when people shake my hand too firmly with a vigorous squeeze. I'm a piano teacher and accompanist - my hands are my livelihood! Please don't crush my hand in your attempt to appear confident and friendly! :lol:


But your hands are your friendliest parts! :devil:


----------



## Bettina (Sep 29, 2016)

Klassik said:


> But your hands are your friendliest parts! :devil:


Yes, and that's why I want to preserve them in perfect condition! :devil:


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Bettina said:


> Yes, and that's why I want to preserve them in perfect condition! :devil:


You should become a hand model. Perhaps Playboy would be interested in this! 

Klassik's Lessons from TC's Community Forum #43: Don't shake Klassik's hand if Klassik has had coffee. One small cup of coffee will cause me to **** out a Great Lakes sized pool of urine over the course of a few days. With this in mind, I would dry out my skin if I washed my hands each time I took a ****.  You've been warned, but I usually don't drink coffee.


----------



## ST4 (Oct 27, 2016)

Klassik said:


> Klassik's Lessons from TC's Community Forum #157: When kissing an unknown woman's hand, consider whether the woman may have genital warts.


You've scared me for life  (or at least the next ten minutes)


----------



## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

Anyhow, shaky hands & coffee are there in order to eliminate each other, aren't they? And being a piano teacher & being allergic for firm handshakes..


----------



## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

ST4 said:


> Btw, does anyone actually get a handshake when they order a coffee? that'd be really strange.


Which reminds me... in the 80s, as a soon-to-be PhD Chemistry, I met one of the big shots of Chemical industry in the Netherlands on a conference. I enthusiastically shook his hand, which caused his other hand, clutching a cup filled with coffee, to move up and down as well for some reason. The stuff was everywhere, including his suit.

I was amazed that half a year later I still got a job offer. Well, he was probably not involved in the decision making at that entry level, and retired soon thereafter.


----------



## Totenfeier (Mar 11, 2016)

Coffee:

"I made instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time." - Steven Wright

Handshakeology:

"...the Presbyterian minister's handshake, in which the objective is to break as many bones as possible in your hand." - (paraphrased from forgotten source)


----------



## ST4 (Oct 27, 2016)

Art Rock said:


> Which reminds me... in the 80s, as a soon-to-be PhD Chemistry, I met one of the big shots of Chemical industry in the Netherlands on a conference. I enthusiastically shook his hand, which caused his other hand, clutching a cup filled with coffee, to move up and down as well for some reason. The stuff was everywhere, including his suit.
> 
> I was amazed that half a year later I still got a job offer. Well, he was probably not involved in the decision making at that entry level, and retired soon thereafter.


Oh wow :lol:

Embarrassingly awkward?


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

I give my arm out for people to shake. When someone comes close to shaking my hand, I pull my arm back and start doing karaoke to MC Hammer's _U Can't Touch This_.

:tiphat:


----------



## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

... or you could conceal a hammer behind you and when their hand reaches out, you swing it yelling "hammer time!"


----------



## Klassik (Mar 14, 2017)

Art Rock said:


> ... or you could conceal a hammer behind you and when their hand reaches out, you swing it yelling "hammer time!"


I don't know if I'd make for a very good Thor!  Having said this, I would do this strategy when meeting Beethoven. Instead of a hammer, I would have Arm & Hammer deodorant for him! :lol:


----------



## ST4 (Oct 27, 2016)

"Here is your $10 coffee but I'm NOT giving it to you until you shake my dirty hands"


----------



## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

Latest news: Huge iceberg has broken off Antarctica


----------



## TxllxT (Mar 2, 2011)

*1500's headline: Coffee leads to illegal sex*

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/08/14/health/coffee-health/index.html


----------



## Guest (Jul 12, 2017)

ST4 said:


> Bit of a good 'ole family reunion? :lol:


What? Haha. Nah it's just how people seem to greet each other out of nearly all my friends. When it comes to greeting someone much older than me, handshakes tend to be what they prefer. Otherwise just a simple hug would suffice.


----------



## Gordontrek (Jun 22, 2012)

I have a very firm handshake, and I hate coffee. Do with that information what you will.


----------



## SixFootScowl (Oct 17, 2011)




----------



## hpowders (Dec 23, 2013)

I don't respect the perveyors of wishy-washy, clammy handshakes. Nothing turns me off more.

My coffee must be strong, fresh and black, unsweetened, preferably a double shot of espresso, straight up.

Here's to a firm handshake!!! :tiphat:


----------

