# Sick call and misery thread



## KenOC

This is a thread to talk about medical problems, personal losses, and the general miseries of life. You may get good suggestions or, at the least, some comfort and sympathy from forum friends. The thread has been popular on another site and may be here. Anyway, I have nothing to write about right now. How about you?


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## Guest

I'm as sick as a dog this morning after too much _rosé_ last night (and in this heat!). Or should that be sick as a parrot?
Either way, I'll be talking down the big telephone shortly ...


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## david johnson

strained back muscle...ouch. the misery comes/goes. such fun, it is


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## KenOC

david johnson said:


> strained back muscle...ouch. the misery comes/goes. such fun, it is


No fun! I had a spinal injury last year -- couldn't even get out of bed! My wife had to pull me up, through a haze of pain. An MRI finally discovered what it was and I had a surgery. Worked 100%, glory be! Hope yours clears up soon, and completely.


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## clavichorder

I have to see a physical therapist tomorrow. I've had to wait about 3 weeks! My legs are really tight.


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## Bulldog

The hell with the negative stuff. I received some good news about my vision today; it has actually improved. By the time I'm 70 years old, I'm hoping I won't even need my contact lenses.


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## SeptimalTritone

*WARNING: REALLY LONG, BORING RANT.*

Over the past week and a half, I've messaged over 40 girls on okcupid in my new area, each with unique, carefully (yet not too carefully) thought-out messages. And I've gotten only a few responses... and none of those turned into dates. The best I've gotten was two back and forth messages, then I ask her out, and then dead silence.

Walking around campus or the nearby restaurants/grocery stores/coffee shops has become, once again, a miserable experience. For I see the attractive young women everywhere, and I'm continually reminded of what I don't have.

I deeply, deeply resent my existence. I feel worthless and expendable. Honestly, if I wasn't afraid of the potential spiritual consequences, I would have killed myself long ago. I almost wish I would die on accident so that I wouldn't have to suffer any negative karma for death, like dying in a car accident or plane crash, or fire, earthquake, or in a mugging/robbery.

Grad school is going terribly as well. For the first week, I was pretty motivated, but in this second week, I'm feeling like I simply don't care at all! I just don't want to study.

Normally, when I don't want to study, I use a lot of self hate to whip myself back into work mode. I think I'm going to do that today. Let's make a list of negative things that will motivate me:

1. I'm getting paid a salary, so I should work.
2. My professor (who I'm meeting again with later this week) will cut my balls off if don't have anything to report.
3. My chances of getting a girlfriend (however low they already may be) will even further decrease if I don't succeed in work. Intelligent young women in Northern California have extremely high standards in both looks and academic/career success.
4. My friends (I have a good amount of friends from my undergrad school who go to my current grad school) will all think I'm a failure if I don't do well. My family will think I'm a failure. My online friends here will think I'm a failure.
5. There are negative karmic consequences for being lazy. Buddhism demands you work hard and stay present, otherwise you're wasting your life!
6. Most people would think that being in a top 10 PhD program is a miracle opportunity. By not working hard, I'm being unappreciative. (This is related to point 1).

To be honest, I'm just having a really hard time understanding my physics reading. It's stuff on open quantum systems. What are open quantum systems? Well... in real life, when we engineer quantum states, the energy stored in these quantum states can leak away into the environment through electromagnetic radiative loss. For example, an LC superconducting ring with a Josephson junction acts as a qubit, whose energy leaks out electromagnetically. Keeping track of this loss is done by this obscure thing called the Master Equation. I read up on the derivation of this master equation, and by God I didn't understand it one bit. The derivation was SO complicated. I mean, I could follow each mathematical step line by line, but the overall intuition and general ideas flew right past my head.

And now my professor gave me the task to read up on quantum measurement. Quantum measurement is hard in the superconducting regime because the frequencies are in the microwave regime, and microwave photons have much lower energy than optical photons and thus are hard to detect. SO.... this means that we have to probe any superconducting quantum bit with a transmission line rather than directly detecting the photon. This means I have to do a bit of reading on quantum measurement theory and get clearer on what a quantum measurement actually is in order to make predictions regarding what happens when we probe a superconducting qubit.

Life never gives me any joy. I really, honestly, would rather be dead. The negatives of life far outweigh the positives. In fact, I wonder whether there are any positives. All I see are obstacles, obstacles, and more obstacles with no victory in sight. I thought that completing my undergrad degree would be a big sigh of relief, but I'm just followed with more misery.

Again, I will not kill myself for fear of karmic consequences, but I do look forward to the end of my life. The sad thing is that my life might not even be a quarter over...

Whatever. I'll just bully myself into doing more work today and working like a fiend until I meet with my professor later on this week. It will solve the academics issue. The girlfriend issue might take a long time to solve. But I'll just keep bullying myself into fighting past my misery...


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## KenOC

Septimal -- a girl hint. Visit dog parks. I'm not making this up. Compliment dogs like crazy!


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## Guest

SeptimalTritone said:


> *WARNING: REPLY!


Hi Tri,

I'm sorry to hear you feel like this. Have you spoken about your feelings with any college staff or at a local Buddhist group?

PM me if you want to.


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## Bix

Sam - I've been where you are and it's not all hopeless, it is easy to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders in terms of what you expect of yourself and how you perceive others expectations of you, but you need to gain some perspective on where you are in life and the level of import you put on each item you list in your post.

You should be doing your work at Stanford for yourself, I'm not saying that you stop the programme (give it some time it may just click) but don't feel a failure for being candid about how you feel right now.

What you have described in your post is something similar to my graduate life and what you are saying regarding your feelings towards your own person is part of my professional field of work, so - even though I am here for you to chat to I must recommend that you make yourself and these issues know to the people at Stanford who are there specifically for helping those who feel the way you do; there will be many there in the same boat as you.

You probably have the details but here they are http://vaden.stanford.edu/caps/about-us give the a ring or visit them

Regarding getting a partner, when I gave up on that it just happened and we've been together ever since.


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## Bix

dogen said:


> Have you spoken about your feelings with any college staff or at a local Buddhist group?


http://bcas.stanford.edu


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## Ingélou

SeptimalTritone, I am so sorry that you are feeling this unhappiness. This is very much what I experienced when I was a university student. Taggart too 'lost his way' for a time at the same stage of life. Hang on in there - it will pass. Bix has made some very sensible suggestions. Talk to people - enjoy nature. You are in our thoughts & prayers. Every good wish. xx


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## GhenghisKhan

I'm here to kick *** and chew bubble gum.

And I'm all out of bubble gum.


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## Morimur

SeptimalTritone said:


> *WARNING: REALLY LONG, BORING RANT.*
> 
> Over the past week and a half, I've messaged over 40 girls on okcupid in my new area, each with unique, carefully (yet not too carefully) thought-out messages. And I've gotten only a few responses... and none of those turned into dates. The best I've gotten was two back and forth messages, then I ask her out, and then dead silence.
> 
> Walking around campus or the nearby restaurants/grocery stores/coffee shops has become, once again, a miserable experience. For I see the attractive young women everywhere, and I'm continually reminded of what I don't have.
> 
> I deeply, deeply resent my existence. I feel worthless and expendable. Honestly, if I wasn't afraid of the potential spiritual consequences, I would have killed myself long ago. I almost wish I would die on accident so that I wouldn't have to suffer any negative karma for death, like dying in a car accident or plane crash, or fire, earthquake, or in a mugging/robbery.
> 
> Grad school is going terribly as well. For the first week, I was pretty motivated, but in this second week, I'm feeling like I simply don't care at all! I just don't want to study.
> 
> Normally, when I don't want to study, I use a lot of self hate to whip myself back into work mode. I think I'm going to do that today. Let's make a list of negative things that will motivate me:
> 
> 1. I'm getting paid a salary, so I should work.
> 2. My professor (who I'm meeting again with later this week) will cut my balls off if don't have anything to report.
> 3. My chances of getting a girlfriend (however low they already may be) will even further decrease if I don't succeed in work. Intelligent young women in Northern California have extremely high standards in both looks and academic/career success.
> 4. My friends (I have a good amount of friends from my undergrad school who go to my current grad school) will all think I'm a failure if I don't do well. My family will think I'm a failure. My online friends here will think I'm a failure.
> 5. There are negative karmic consequences for being lazy. Buddhism demands you work hard and stay present, otherwise you're wasting your life!
> 6. Most people would think that being in a top 10 PhD program is a miracle opportunity. By not working hard, I'm being unappreciative. (This is related to point 1).
> 
> To be honest, I'm just having a really hard time understanding my physics reading. It's stuff on open quantum systems. What are open quantum systems? Well... in real life, when we engineer quantum states, the energy stored in these quantum states can leak away into the environment through electromagnetic radiative loss. For example, an LC superconducting ring with a Josephson junction acts as a qubit, whose energy leaks out electromagnetically. Keeping track of this loss is done by this obscure thing called the Master Equation. I read up on the derivation of this master equation, and by God I didn't understand it one bit. The derivation was SO complicated. I mean, I could follow each mathematical step line by line, but the overall intuition and general ideas flew right past my head.
> 
> And now my professor gave me the task to read up on quantum measurement. Quantum measurement is hard in the superconducting regime because the frequencies are in the microwave regime, and microwave photons have much lower energy than optical photons and thus are hard to detect. SO.... this means that we have to probe any superconducting quantum bit with a transmission line rather than directly detecting the photon. This means I have to do a bit of reading on quantum measurement theory and get clearer on what a quantum measurement actually is in order to make predictions regarding what happens when we probe a superconducting qubit.
> 
> Life never gives me any joy. I really, honestly, would rather be dead. The negatives of life far outweigh the positives. In fact, I wonder whether there are any positives. All I see are obstacles, obstacles, and more obstacles with no victory in sight. I thought that completing my undergrad degree would be a big sigh of relief, but I'm just followed with more misery.
> 
> Again, I will not kill myself for fear of karmic consequences, but I do look forward to the end of my life. The sad thing is that my life might not even be a quarter over...
> 
> Whatever. I'll just bully myself into doing more work today and working like a fiend until I meet with my professor later on this week. It will solve the academics issue. The girlfriend issue might take a long time to solve. But I'll just keep bullying myself into fighting past my misery...


If you're that miserable and unmotivated, then perhaps physics isn't your thing. As for the girl thing, keep trying but don't be desperate-desperation in these matters will only lead to failure and frustration. Also, enjoy being single-having a girlfriend isn't the greatest thing in life. When you finally meet someone there will inevitably come a time when you will look back and miss your freedom. Finally, don't put women on a pedestal. They are not these ethereal beings who will grant you eternal pleasure and happiness-that is a lie perpetrated by our idiotic society. Don't be so easily taken with superficial beauty because it is the first thing to go. Life isn't about women.


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## isorhythm

Very sorry to hear you're feeling so down, SeptimalTritone. So many of my grad student friends seem to experience similar at some point. I know one who took a year off and returned to his program (also in the sciences) much happier. I don't know your situation but it's always good to remember that you have choices and are not in prison, even if it feels that way.

As for dating...a romantic relationship can bring a lot of happiness when you're receptive to it, but it can't pull you out of a real depression. I speak from experience on this.

Anyway, you're certainly valued on this forum...I know internet interactions aren't enough, but it's something!


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## Sloe

I have been so busy the last week there have been something to do every day. I work night so I don´t sleep the same time as most people have been sleeping only four hours today and the same yesterday. I am very tired and feel asleep as soon as I come home.


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## Weston

My sympathies to all who are hurting.


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## Sloe

SeptimalTritone said:


> *WARNING: REALLY LONG, BORING RANT.*
> 
> Over the past week and a half, I've messaged over 40 girls on okcupid in my new area, each with unique, carefully (yet not too carefully) thought-out messages. And I've gotten only a few responses... and none of those turned into dates. The best I've gotten was two back and forth messages, then I ask her out, and then dead silence.


I have the same problem I have messaged over 100 girls the last months and I have met only three and none have led to a relationship this far. I got my last girlfriend when I was really desperate and lowered my standards significantly. I met a girl yesterday and she was the nicest one this far but I don´t know what will happen yet.


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## Gaspard de la Nuit

GhenghisKhan said:


> I'm here to kick *** and chew bubble gum.
> 
> And I'm all out of bubble gum.


:lol: Your posts are always golden.

I read Septimal's post and even though I don't have the same situation at all, I also question whether my life is worth living or not, whether it is possible to achieve or attain my true desires and have something more than a compromised, frustrated existence. Ultimately I decide to continue because I think I would probably reincarnate into virtually the same circumstance after I die, so I should probably deal with the issues that I have in this lifetime to their completion.....but also, because ultimately I believe that I will succeed in the end. I just don't know how long it will take....another 3 years? 15 years? 40 years? The rest of this life time? I tell myself I would wait lifetimes if I had to, but I can tell that it is very possible for even someone with my personality to run out of patience.

Deep down I know that I was meant to be great, great enough to show others the true meaning of greatness, but circumstances can be so frustrating that it is hard to see a way out, and even when I do, it means taking a lot of risk and having a lot of patience.


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## Cosmos

And here I am wanting to complain about a bad cold that I have

I'm sorry to hear, Septimal and Gaspard. Those thoughts also keep me awake at night


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## SeptimalTritone

Bix said:


> Sam - I've been where you are and it's not all hopeless, it is easy to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders in terms of what you expect of yourself and how you perceive others expectations of you, but you need to gain some perspective on where you are in life and the level of import you put on each item you list in your post.
> 
> You should be doing your work at Stanford for yourself, I'm not saying that you stop the programme (give it some time it may just click) but don't feel a failure for being candid about how you feel right now.
> 
> What you have described in your post is something similar to my graduate life and what you are saying regarding your feelings towards your own person is part of my professional field of work, so - even though I am here for you to chat to I must recommend that you make yourself and these issues know to the people at Stanford who are there specifically for helping those who feel the way you do; there will be many there in the same boat as you.
> 
> You probably have the details but here they are http://vaden.stanford.edu/caps/about-us give the a ring or visit them
> 
> Regarding getting a partner, when I gave up on that it just happened and we've been together ever since.


Thank you Bix, and everyone for both the sympathy and the practical advice.

I will take a few baby steps in order to get back more on track.

I did in fact go to vaden today, and I'll be in contact with them again tomorrow morning over the phone in order to set something up. Preferably a weekly meeting with a therapist on campus. I think they'll be helpful.

I had a very inactive last few days, but I'm going back to my reading now. I have this evening/night and tomorrow morning. I'm meeting with my professor in the early afternoon. I will be honest with him, and say that I had a lull in motivation and energy for the past week.

I hope I'll in due time understand the readings better. At the moment, it's still a large disconnect between following the equations vs. having an actual physical/conceptual understanding. It's tough because there's multiple layers of understanding I don't have. First it's dealing with density matrices and their dynamics. Pretty abstract material, and although I have plenty of leads and readings to work at, it's hard stuff. Then it's learning how the Hamiltonians (that is, the physical system situations) are set up using actual superconducting circuits, which has a lot of experimental components to it, especially fabrication. Then it's long term stuff regarding what these quantum systems are used for. Apparently there are much more promising applications beyond quantum computing (which is quite a remote prospect currently anyway)... but I only understand them at a rudimentary level.

I'll have to go in and immerse myself in the reading, not using fear as motivation but a desire to immerse as the motivation.

Although I'm still quite afraid of my professor meeting tomorrow. Hope he gives me a get out of jail free card for this one time.


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## Richannes Wrahms

I still get the chills when I read or hear the expression "in due time and manner". Lab proffesors traumatise you forever; good for cleaning though.


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## Albert7

SeptimalTritone said:


> Thank you Bix, and everyone for both the sympathy and the practical advice.
> 
> I will take a few baby steps in order to get back more on track.
> 
> I did in fact go to vaden today, and I'll be in contact with them again tomorrow morning over the phone in order to set something up. Preferably a weekly meeting with a therapist on campus. I think they'll be helpful.
> 
> I had a very inactive last few days, but I'm going back to my reading now. I have this evening/night and tomorrow morning. I'm meeting with my professor in the early afternoon. I will be honest with him, and say that I had a lull in motivation and energy for the past week.
> 
> I hope I'll in due time understand the readings better. At the moment, it's still a large disconnect between following the equations vs. having an actual physical/conceptual understanding. It's tough because there's multiple layers of understanding I don't have. First it's dealing with density matrices and their dynamics. Pretty abstract material, and although I have plenty of leads and readings to work at, it's hard stuff. Then it's learning how the Hamiltonians (that is, the physical system situations) are set up using actual superconducting circuits, which has a lot of experimental components to it, especially fabrication. Then it's long term stuff regarding what these quantum systems are used for. Apparently there are much more promising applications beyond quantum computing (which is quite a remote prospect currently anyway)... but I only understand them at a rudimentary level.
> 
> I'll have to go in and immerse myself in the reading, not using fear as motivation but a desire to immerse as the motivation.
> 
> Although I'm still quite afraid of my professor meeting tomorrow. Hope he gives me a get out of jail free card for this one time.


Reading this has been good to me too. I have been pretty anti-social and depressed lately. If it weren't for work I would stay at the condo for three months straight like Brian Wilson.

I haven't seen Izzy in awhile due to my soon-2-be ex running off with her new boyfriends and not telling me where Izzy is. In fact, Izzy is staying at some random friend's house so I really don't know what the hell is going on lately.

On the dating side I am just trying to make friends now. I am depressed because I really want a divorce and no clue when it will happen. My ex ex took 10 years to divorce last time she did it and I'm afraid it's becoming like this. Ball and chain a la Janis Joplin.

I feel one of these days like eating 100 pieces of rice-a-roni sushi, drinking a bunch of tap water, and kaboom. Vanished Albert Tosca style.

Note: Migraine attacks more frequent lately with insomnia and for me, melancholy inspires me to go on a TC binge accordingly.

Septimal, I feel your pain and empathize.


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## SixFootScowl

At 57 I take 4 pills per day: Omeprazole, Asprin low dose, Niacin 500 mg, and synthetic thyroid hormone (that because of some nodules they found and a spooky family history of thyroid cancer, but the nodules seem to have become smaller in my last ultrasound). I have good cholestrol numbers, 40 percent clogging in one artery that is not an issue if any breaks loose but can cause some chest pain if I run more than a quarter mile or run too hard. Since the pneumonia and weight loss (about 14 pounds, half gained back, but think exchanged fat for muscle) my knee joint pain is worse and my legs feel weaker as it is harder to do the half mile run than it was before. Beyond that I am in reasonably good shape for my age but could be a lot better I suppose if I did more regular and rigorous workouts. But I do walk and/or run about 8 miles per week on average in summer, 4-5 in winter, though broken up into about half-mile segments at different times of day.


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## Sloe

I get migrains quite often so I eat maybe a package of diclofenac each months.

I have also a lot of problems with my teeth and have lost some I suspect that I will have lost most of them when I reach retirement age.


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## SixFootScowl

Oh, I forgot about I get migraines about twice a year, but they are not too bad. One 200 mg Motrin makes it so I only feel slight nausea, but not enough to stop me from doing whatever I am doing. I am thankful for that. They started in my early 20s.

Oh my teeth. I could write a book on teeth. My kids have the best teeth ever (and the dog). The kids saw the horrifying state of dad's mouth and must have a great fear factor driving them to multiple brushings a day. Anyway, next week I get my partial so that I can chew properly again and hopefully get off the Omeprezoe if what the oral surgeon told me is correct, that poor chewing can contribute to poor digestion and reflux. So basically I have all the front teeth but only about three back teeth on the bottom jaw, but all my upper teeth.


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## ArtMusic

I don't think we should be complaining about so many things in life, really it is a bit puzzling. Are one's expectations unrealistically high? Do guys want the hottest girl as a girlfriend (well yes but getting depressed over it is plain silly). Do guys want the highest paid jobs and professional success (well yes but getting depressed over it is plain silly).

There are people on this planet who don't earn enough over a year to pay even for the computer you are using to write these complaining notes. There are people on this planet who are happy to make it to the end of the day with a modest simple meal and seeing their family.

I think folks who are depressed in developed countries do not really know what true hardship is.

I am happy for what I do have, and if I can achieve some more, good, if not, I am no worse off. Pure and simple.


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## SixFootScowl

Right, but we are in this thread, not to complain, but to share.


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## Lukecash12

Sloe said:


> I get migrains quite often so I eat maybe a package of diclofenac each months.
> 
> I have also a lot of problems with my teeth and have lost some I suspect that I will have lost most of them when I reach retirement age.


Welcome to the George Washington club.


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## mtmailey

As for me i am sick of to many fake people where are the real people at you know?
View attachment 72192


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## Ingélou

ArtMusic said:


> I don't think we should be complaining about so many things in life, really it is a bit puzzling. Are one's expectations unrealistically high? Do guys want the hottest girl as a girlfriend (well yes but getting depressed over it is plain silly). Do guys want the highest paid jobs and professional success (well yes but getting depressed over it is plain silly).
> 
> There are people on this planet who don't earn enough over a year to pay even for the computer you are using to write these complaining notes. There are people on this planet who are happy to make it to the end of the day with a modest simple meal and seeing their family.
> 
> I think folks who are depressed in developed countries do not really know what true hardship is.
> 
> I am happy for what I do have, and if I can achieve some more, good, if not, I am no worse off. Pure and simple.


That's nice for you; but it doesn't mean that other people who are feeling depressed and despairing are making it up or being unduly demanding. The posters on this thread do not appear to me to have unrealistically high expectations if they feel lonely and want to find a girlfriend. That's natural everywhere.

People who are depressed in developed countries may not know what 'true hardship' is, but they do know what 'true depression / unhappiness' is.

I have known depression in my life, and I have always found it good to share and talk. 
I didn't find it helpful if people hinted that I had no real problems or should pull myself together - although until I suffered from depression myself, I may have said the same thing, mea culpa.

Having a safety-valve for complaining is also no bad thing.


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## SixFootScowl

KenOC said:


> Septimal -- a girl hint. Visit dog parks. I'm not making this up. Compliment dogs like crazy!


Or start taking them to the opera. I got a number of dates doing that years ago.

However, I met my wife after I stopped looking for a woman and left it up to God, and it has worked out well.


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## SixFootScowl

SeptimalTritone said:


> 3. My chances of getting a girlfriend (however low they already may be) will even further decrease if I don't succeed in work. Intelligent young women in Northern California have extremely high standards in both looks and academic/career success.


There are other states where the women are not so intense--Ohio perhaps.

But on your original post in general, you may also consider backing off on your course load, if that is possible, to ease the burden. I remember a course in linear programming that I took in the engineering school at college (I was in Natural Resources) and it was so intense I ended up with about 4 or 5 colds one after the other, until I decided I didn't care what grade I got, and then I got well. I got about 38 percent right on the final and left the class with a B- because nearly everyone was as bad off as I was and the professor graded on a curve. But your Physics is pretty tough stuff. I tried reading some of Richard Feynman's Lectures on Physics and it was way over my head.



> Life never gives me any joy. I really, honestly, would rather be dead. The negatives of life far outweigh the positives. In fact, I wonder whether there are any positives. All I see are obstacles, obstacles, and more obstacles with no victory in sight.


It you want to bring this to the Christian Fellowship Group (under the Community tab), there are many who would give you some good advice and hope. Up to you, but we can't talk about that stuff in the general forums.


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## Gaspard de la Nuit

ArtMusic said:


> I don't think we should be complaining about so many things in life, really it is a bit puzzling. Are one's expectations unrealistically high? Do guys want the hottest girl as a girlfriend (well yes but getting depressed over it is plain silly). Do guys want the highest paid jobs and professional success (well yes but getting depressed over it is plain silly).
> 
> There are people on this planet who don't earn enough over a year to pay even for the computer you are using to write these complaining notes. There are people on this planet who are happy to make it to the end of the day with a modest simple meal and seeing their family.
> 
> I think folks who are depressed in developed countries do not really know what true hardship is.
> 
> I am happy for what I do have, and if I can achieve some more, good, if not, I am no worse off. Pure and simple.


Sometimes I think about the fact that some people literally live in a wasteland of burning corpses and that many people's problems in affluent regions are such jokes compared to other people's, but in reality, saying that people who have food on their plate and a roof over their heads have a comparitively superior existence is a simplistic view that doesn't really account for the breadth, depth and subtlety of human experience. It'd better to live in a sh!tbox, have all your family members die and have to forage for food than be a privileged individual who is too ashamed of themselves to leave their house -- at least one gets to experience life, whereas the other one does not.

With that said, I agree completely that counting your blessings is an effective way to feel better.


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## clavichorder

I'm a little depressed these days, despite my best efforts to keep busy, simply because I don't have a job, haven't really had one yet, and I'm 23. I also haven't dated in three years. So I'm feeling a bit lousy if I don't keep busy. However, I am in better physical condition than I've been in a while, Far From the Madding Crowd is a really good read, I may have a date coming up, I have good friends, and I have been composing pretty consistently if slowly and in my limited fashion. However, I woke up too late today and feel that I've wasted much of it. So I'm starting with a few cups of coffee, some food, and a Haydn symphony, no. 76. Maybe I should remind myself also how lucky I am to have these things and that I can change my situation without too much effort if I work on it, that it may be in the process of doing that already with my upcoming trip to Spain, promising library prospects and the start of school in the fall. Stupid depression. 

I may go on a really long bike ride on Wednesday and then start a summit of Mt. Rainier on Thursday. Maybe that will provide a fresh perspective.,


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## Bulldog

Ingélou said:


> I have known depression in my life, and I have always found it good to share and talk.
> I didn't find it helpful if people hinted that I had no real problems or should pull myself together - although until I suffered from depression myself, I may have said the same thing, mea culpa.


That's the opposite of what works for me when I've felt depressed in the past. Being read the "riot act" from a close friend or family member is good for me.


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## clavichorder

I am desperately trying to shake of my long habit of thinking of myself both consciously and unconsciously, as a weird person in a bad sort of way. Like someone who is damaged by mental health issues and repulses the opposite sex for his anxiety and odd mannerisms. It happens to be an mostly false perception and it is not helping me in my current aims in any way. Its really easy to revert to framing myself in such ways, especially when I have put myself in certain situations, but I am consciously refusing to do that.

By the way, reading the post from a few days ago and knowing I'm not currently half so blue, feels good. I cancelled my trip to Rainier though.


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## Morimur

clavichorder said:


> I am desperately trying to shake of my long habit of thinking of myself both consciously and unconsciously, as a weird person in a bad sort of way. Like someone who is damaged by mental health issues and repulses the opposite sex for his anxiety and odd mannerisms. It happens to be an mostly false perception and it is not helping me in my current aims in any way. Its really easy to revert to framing myself in such ways, especially when I have put myself in certain situations, but I am consciously refusing to do that.
> 
> By the way, reading the post from a few days ago and knowing I'm not currently half so blue, feels good. I cancelled my trip to Rainier though.


Find a dilapidated bar at the edge of the world somewhere and have a drink. :tiphat:

_Important: If you're an alcoholic (recovering or otherwise) disregard my advice._

CHEERS!


----------



## clavichorder

Morimur said:


> Find a dilapidated bar at the edge of the world somewhere and have a drink. :tiphat:
> 
> _Important: If you're an alcoholic (recovering or otherwise) disregard my advice._
> 
> CHEERS!


May I ask specifically what inspires that advice? No, I'm not an alcoholic. Sounds like a fun idea for some time.


----------



## Morimur

clavichorder said:


> May I ask specifically what inspires that advice? No, I'm not an alcoholic. Sounds like a fun idea for some time.


What inspires the advice? Something I used to do every so often back in the day-worked for me. I should say, though-I am an odd sort and have always liked getting lost and 'retreating' from the world into miserable parts of whatever city I happen to find myself in.


----------



## clavichorder

Morimur said:


> What inspires the advice? Something I used to do every so often back in the day-worked for me.


The problem is, I need money...That is why I am looking for a job. But it sounds like something I would love to try.


----------



## Albert7

Okay. Yep, suffering from loneliness here. And that is a huge sickness in my life.


----------



## Morimur

Albert7 said:


> Okay. Yep, suffering from loneliness here. And that is a huge sickness in my life.


What you need is a pet racoon.


----------



## Cosmos

I'm kind of embarrassed to say this here but I feel like you guys are understanding enough. I had a bit of a break down earlier from being overwhelmed by depressing thoughts. I feel very useless and unwanted and unneeded...At work I'm not doing any project that could easily be done by someone else, probably better in fact, when I'm home I just sit on my computer until I go to bed, I'm also lonely I haven't been with anyone in years and I feel like no one would even want to be with me. I wouldn't. Idk what else I've just been feeling so tired lately and when I get tired these kinds of thoughts pile up on top of each other it's tedious to write them all out


----------



## Triplets

I am coming off a 3 month disability for heart surgery and starting a new position. I've gotten used to being at home and wasting time and not sure how I feel about rejoining the labor force and all the transition issues of a new position


----------



## Yoshi

I'm reading all your shares about loneliness and sad thoughts and I wish I could say something to make you all feel better. All I can say is that I understand where you are coming from and tell you that your life can change completely in a small matter of time. You never know unless you keep going and in a few years you could be in a really happy place, look back and feel proud that you never gave up on life. Oh and there's nothing wrong with being single. It's better to be alone than with the wrong person in my opinion.

Even if I do have a boyfriend I can relate to the loneliness part, especially today. Basicaly I've been a loner all my life, I have trouble making friends and I'm an introvert (What a surprise huh? An introvert on an internet forum). Anyway, he's my best friend and only friend, he's the only person I talk to and hang out with. When we got together I finaly put aside the need to make friends because he filled that void. I couldn't be happier when I'm with him. The thing is that he works a lot. Sometimes I don't see him for days. That's when the cold hard fact that I have no friends hits me and I start feeling really lonely. Right now I'm in one of those times when I'm on holidays, he's away and I haven't seen him in 6 days. These past 6 days all I've been doing is pretty much going out on my own or sit on my computer. I have no one to talk to or go out with which usualy is fine because I'm an introvert, but the part of not having him around is really bad. Even if I find stuff to do on my own, the person I usually share my life with is not there and I always think "I wish I could show him this" or "I wish he was here seeing this too" you know? Sorry for rambling, in no way I want to complain about my life, I just wanted to share the sense of loneliness I'm having right now too.

Cosmos, I know we don't know eachother but here's what I know about you so far: You have a nice voice, you love and know a lot about classical music (huge plus for a girl like me), from your posts you seem like a nice guy, you have an intriguing username that could indicate you're an interesting person to talk with and a sweet avatar. Unless you're a serial killer I don't know why you don't understand why someone would want to be with you.


----------



## tdc

Yoshi said:


> Cosmos, I know we don't know eachother but here's what I know about you so far: You have a nice voice, you love and know a lot about classical music (huge plus for a girl like me), from your posts you seem like a nice guy, you have an intriguing username that could indicate you're an interesting person to talk with and a sweet avatar. Unless you're a serial killer I don't know why you don't understand why someone would want to be with you.


I think Yoshi gives good advice. I too wish I could say something to make everyone feel better, but not sure what that could be. I will say that sooo many of the issues I read about here that posters are dealing with are the same types of problems I also have. I am an introvert though for sure, and to be honest in my experience, I have not really found talking about my problems with other people to be all that helpful, so I generally don't do that. But I know for many others it is very helpful to do so. I think every person that lives in this world will deal with some very hard times at some point - it is a part of life, and in the grand scheme we tend to grow the most in character through the hard times - but we also need good times too, I think life is largely about finding a proper balance in all these things.

I completely agree with Yoshi's point that it is better to be single than with the wrong person. I have not had a girlfriend in years - because I do not want one unless something that just feels completely right comes along. During my last relationship I realized how much time had to be spent doing things I had no interest in to keep my girlfriend happy, and have since realized that my previous need for a girlfriend was totally an illusion and that I can be completely happy single. But at the same time I am grateful that I got to experience a long term serious relationship and I would not want to change that -I needed that experience and I hope that others here will also get to experience that if they want to.

Finally I will add that I agree with Carl Jung's idea that to be truly fulfilled human beings need some form of spirituality in their lives. Something beyond just material goals. I think some people can find this through mainstream religion and some can find it elsewhere, but I think it is important for giving life full meaning and context.

I recently signed up to learn transcendental meditation starting in September, and I feel really optimistic about that. Its expensive, but there is a wealth of scientific data out there showing that it has profound results on mental and emotional well-being.


----------



## arpeggio

I am a cancer survivor. Seven years ago I was diagnosed with having Angio Immunoblastic T-Cell Lymphoma. I just had a check-up with my oncologist and the cancer is still in remission. 

When they took a CT scan they found that most of my lymph nodes were infected. It turns out there are many types of Lymphoma. They had no idea what type I had. They took a biopsy of one of the infected lymph nodes and sent samples of it to John Hopkins and Duke University, the best cancer centers in the mid-Atlantic area. They were stumped.

My oncologist had a contact with the National Institute of Health. They came back with the correct diagnosis.

It turns out Angio Immunoblastic T-Cell Lymphoma is very rare. In thirty years I was only the third person my oncologist had had with this type of cancer. My doctor thought, "Oh no. He is a dead man."

Thank God for the Internet. Through it my doctor found a clinic in Italy that had done research on this type of cancer. They responded, "No problem. Just do this, this and this and your guy will be just fine."

My doctor applied their cure with me and it knocked it right out and I have been cancer free ever since.

So I like to irritate my conservative friends by telling them that the big bad government (I have several friends who would like to dismantle the National Institute of Health as a waste of taxpayers money) identified the type of cancer that I had and those damn socialist Italians cured me (The type of cancer I had is so rare that no one in the US could make a profit from finding a cure for it. That institute in Italy received a grant from their socialist government to do the research that found the cure that saved my life.).

So do not talk to me about how great our health system is in the United States. It is dominated by hospitals, pharmaceuticals and insurance companies that put their profits ahead of the welfare of their patients. We have been subjected to their death panels for years.


----------



## Guest

arpeggio said:


> I am a cancer survivor. Seven years ago I was diagnosed with having Angio Immunoblastic T-Cell Lymphoma. I just had a check-up with my oncologist and the cancer is still in remission.
> 
> When they took a CT scan they found that most of my lymph node were infected. It turns out there are many types of Lymphoma. They had no idea what type I had. They took a biopsy of one of the infected lymph nodes and sent samples of it to John Hopkins and Duke University, the best cancer centers in the mid-Atlantic area. They were stumped.
> 
> My oncologist had a contact with the National Institute of Health. They came back with the correct diagnosis.
> 
> It turns out Angio Immunoblastic T-Cell Lymphoma is very rare. In thirty years I was only the third person my oncologist had had with this type of cancer. My doctor thought, "Oh no. He is a dead man."
> 
> Thank God for the Internet. Through it my doctor found an clinic in Italy that had done research on this type of cancer. They responded, "No problem. Just do this, this and this and your guy will be just fine."
> 
> My doctor applied their cure with me and it knocked it right out.
> 
> So I like to irritate my conservative friends by telling them that the big bad government (I have several friends who would like to dismantle the National Institute of Health as a waste of taxpayers money) identified the type of cancer that I had and those damn socialist Italians cured me (The type of cancer I had is so rare that no one in the US could make a profit from finding a cure for it. That institute in Italy received a grant from their socialist government to do the research that found the cure that saved my life.).
> 
> So do not talk to me about how great our health system is in the United States. It is dominated by hospitals, pharmaceuticals and insurance companies that put their profits ahead of the welfare of their patients. We have been subjected to their death panels for years.


That's great arp.

And yes the Internet can be a wonderful tool. Although ultimately it could not save him, one of our cats here in the UK had a very rare infection and the best treatment that he could have came as a result of our brilliant vets researching on the net and communicating with other vets and researchers in both Australia and Ireland.


----------



## Ingélou

Cosmos said:


> I'm kind of embarrassed to say this here but I feel like you guys are understanding enough. I had a bit of a break down earlier from being overwhelmed by depressing thoughts. I feel very useless and unwanted and unneeded...At work I'm not doing any project that could easily be done by someone else, probably better in fact, when I'm home I just sit on my computer until I go to bed, I'm also lonely I haven't been with anyone in years and I feel like no one would even want to be with me. I wouldn't. Idk what else I've just been feeling so tired lately and when I get tired these kinds of thoughts pile up on top of each other it's tedious to write them all out


I've had this sort of experience many years ago, and it's horrible. Sympathies & best wishes, Cosmos, that something (or someone) will turn up in your life that will 'carry you away' with enthusiasm or wonder. In the meantime, you have our goodwill - hope all goes well for you. :tiphat:


----------



## Ingélou

Triplets said:


> I am coming off a 3 month disability for heart surgery and starting a new position. I've gotten used to being at home and wasting time and not sure how I feel about rejoining the labor force and all the transition issues of a new position


Good luck with your new post, Triplets - hope you settle in well, make friends, and find it all very congenial! :tiphat:


----------



## Ingélou

arpeggio said:


> I am a cancer survivor. Seven years ago I was diagnosed with having Angio Immunoblastic T-Cell Lymphoma. I just had a check-up with my oncologist and the cancer is still in remission.
> 
> ... So do not talk to me about how great our health system is in the United States. It is dominated by hospitals, pharmaceuticals and insurance companies that put their profits ahead of the welfare of their patients. We have been subjected to their death panels for years.


Wonderful story, arpeggio, and so glad that you're well. :tiphat:

In 2002 John's kidneys failed & he was found to have a rare immune condition; the good news was that a visiting consultant recognised this straight away & got John to his own hospital in Norwich. John was on dialysis & plasma exchange for a month and then (thanks to the doctors, and also, I believe, to the prayers of many fellow-Christians) his kidney function returned, to the consultant's surprise. In 2014 John was taken ill with pancreatitis, and then, after this had been dealt with by gall bladder removal, the air from that op caused a strangulated hernia in his bowel (from a forty-year-old appendectomy scar); John was rushed to theatre for a risky emergency operation, and came through it with flying colours. Since then, some other less menacing conditions have been dealt with.

John has had world-class medical treatment and warm, compassionate care from our National Health Service.

There are a lot of problems with the NHS in Britain, and many people have not been so lucky, but *we have*. And the principle of care free to all at the point of delivery is a great one. 
:tiphat: Thanks to all John's doctors and nurses.


----------



## arpeggio

Ingélou said:


> In 2014 John was taken ill with pancreatitis, and then, after this had been dealt with by gall bladder removal, .


Small world. Same thing happen to me in 1991.


----------



## Cosmos

Maybe bringing this thread back to light isn't a good idea but I have some time to vent and I don't know where else to post this

I'm nearing the end of my college years and I am not confident about my future at all. I feel that everything I do or try to accomplish I either mess up badly or I just give up because I don't see the point in trying anymore. I know that's a stupid mindset but I can't physically bring myself to change. So I don't need know what direction I'm going in, I still feel lost. I've been seeing a therapist but talking about this doesn't help. My appointments are on Fridays and I found myself picking up a new habit of buying alcohol after I leave her office and getting drunk that night. 

I haven't been sleeping well lately and It seems I can't get a full nights sleep without using pills but I can't use pills too often or they won't work. I stay awake anxious about the next day and about all the work I'll have to do and having to step into each class and each club meeting feeling inadiquate or saying something stupid or doubting if I'm even doing the right thing with my life

I don't know this post is already to long but that's what I've been dealing with this past year


----------



## Ingélou

^^^^^
Sorry to hear this. I think it was a good idea to dig up the thread, though, because it can be therapeutic to talk about your worries and others who may share the same problems can see that they are not alone. 

It does sound like a vicious cycle - yet you are receiving therapy. I don't think there's any quick fix except to persevere and try to stop the Friday alcohol habit. My own way of dealing with worries is to try to distract myself. Exercise helps me, especially dance where I have to forget about myself and just get on with it; fresh air too. Singing is said to be good. 

Is there any exercise that you enjoy where you could without effort socialise with others and get away from the Worry Treadmill?

Very best wishes, anyway.


----------



## SarahNorthman

I have killer tooth pain.


----------



## Cosmos

Ingélou said:


> Is there any exercise that you enjoy where you could without effort socialise with others and get away from the Worry Treadmill?
> 
> Very best wishes, anyway.


Not that I can think of. I have been going to a meditation group. It's hard but I've been trying to meditate at least once a day. Thanks for your encouragement


----------



## Guest

Cosmos said:


> Not that I can think of. It's hard but I've been trying to meditate at least once a day.


 Hard to make it into a habit? It is with any new thing. For a while, you have to try to "just do it." Then eventually it becomes a habitual part of your daily routine, like cleaning your teeth.
I say this from the hypocritical position of failing to make my meditation practice a part of my daily routine.
Best of luck to both of us!


----------



## Guest

SarahNorthman said:


> I have killer tooth pain.


Rub brandy on it till you can get to a dentist. Then drink brandy!


----------



## Vaneyes

"Just thought I'd check in to see how things are going. Looks good." "Nurse, take over, please." "Yes, Doctor, I will."


----------



## Sloe

dogen said:


> Rub brandy on it till you can get to a dentist. Then drink brandy!


 When I have really bad toothache I get to the emergency dentist as soon as possible.


----------



## Ilarion

Cosmos,

I've sent you a PM - Read it and we'll talk about it.

Cheers...


----------



## HolstThePhone

I tried to shave against the grain last week and the next day discovered that I had in fact shaved off my face. It hurts when I smile.

I wanted a close shave but not this close.


----------



## Badinerie

Maybe its wrong but this thread is cheering me up! I thought I had problems...anyway things are pretty awful here. but the one thing I never do when I get down in the mouth is drink booze. It doesnt help. The best thing to sooth a depressed outlook is to get out of the house and into the physical world.Forget about trying to get a girl or boyfriend its not obligatory! Just get out and meet people or see the sights.

Living on an Island as I do I like to get to the coast and look at the sea. Its amazing knowing that everything you know and worry about is behind you and the Immortal sea keeps lashing the shore. Its especially good with a winter wind bowing hard in your face. Being a cheapskate I go to Car boot sales, antique and curio fairs..you dont have to buy anything browse and ask people what that odd looking thing is they want five quid for. 

Light physical exercise has been proven to release chemicals into the blood that can help naturally. Right now I cant think what they are. I cant get out of the house at the moment but I will shortly, and when I get back I'll be able to cope just that much better.


----------



## Morimur

Badinerie said:


> Maybe its wrong but this thread is cheering me up! I thought I had problems...anyway things are pretty awful here. but the one thing I never do when I get down in the mouth is drink booze. It doesnt help. The best thing to sooth a depressed outlook is to get out of the house and into the physical world.Forget about trying to get a girl or boyfriend its not obligatory! Just get out and meet people or see the sights.
> 
> Living on an Island as I do I like to get to the coast and look at the sea. Its amazing knowing that everything you know and worry about is behind you and the Immortal sea keeps lashing the shore. Its especially good with a winter wind bowing hard in your face. Being a cheapskate I go to Car boot sales, antique and curio fairs..you dont have to buy anything browse and ask people what that odd looking thing is they want five quid for.
> 
> Light physical exercise has been proven to release chemicals into the blood that can help naturally. Right now I cant think what they are. I cant get out of the house at the moment but I will shortly, and when I get back I'll be able to cope just that much better.


Well said.
********


----------



## isorhythm

Sorry if I'm bringing this down with something more trivial, but I've already complained to all the people in real life who will listen, and the thread does say "sick call"....

I've been sick for three straight weeks, which is very unusual for me. I think the last time I was sick this long was when I had pneumonia as a teenager. I'm not nearly as sick as I was then, but this just wears on and on. Cough, aches, fatigue, chills. I've been going to work but have no energy for it. I've hardly seen my friends because I just go home and collapse. Is this the flu? Do I need to see a doctor? I hate doing that. Please advise, TalkClassical.


----------



## KenOC

isorhythm said:


> Do I need to see a doctor? I hate doing that. Please advise, TalkClassical.


Three weeks??? Short answer, *yes*. But I suspect you knew that. Now do it, please.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Badinerie said:


> Light physical exercise has been proven to release chemicals into the blood that can help naturally. Right now I cant think what they are. I cant get out of the house at the moment but I will shortly, and when I get back I'll be able to cope just that much better.


If my memory serves me correctly, they are called endorphins.


----------



## isorhythm

KenOC said:


> Three weeks??? Short answer, *yes*. But I suspect you knew that. Now do it, please.


OK OK, making an appointment now. Thanks Ken.


----------



## Radames

isorhythm said:


> OK OK, making an appointment now. Thanks Ken.


Check the reviews of any doctor on sites like doctorscorecard of ratemd before going to a dentist or doctor. There are some real butchers out there. I got butchered by a dentist 10 years ago - spent $30,000 to fix the problems and am still only 75% better. The dental board did NOTHING to the guy - but after a series of bad reviews by others and presumably bad work on other people he finally retired.


----------



## isorhythm

Radames said:


> Check the reviews of any doctor on sites like doctorscorecard of ratemd before going to a dentist or doctor. There are some real butchers out there. I got butchered by a dentist 10 years ago - spent $30,000 to fix the problems and am still only 75% better. The dental board did NOTHING to the guy - but after a series of bad reviews by others and presumably bad work on other people he finally retired.


Very sorry to hear that happened to you.


----------



## isorhythm

Update: doctor didn't diagnose me with anything in particular but prescribed antibiotics anyway. I thought that was frowned upon now, but I guess I'll take them.


----------



## Morimur

isorhythm said:


> Update: doctor didn't diagnose me with anything in particular but prescribed antibiotics anyway. I thought that was frowned upon now, but I guess I'll take them.


Yeah, antibiotics are like aspirin anyway. I down 20 a day with vodka.

Seriously.

:tiphat:


----------



## Ingélou

isorhythm said:


> Update: doctor didn't diagnose me with anything in particular but prescribed antibiotics anyway. I thought that was frowned upon now, but I guess I'll take them.


Anyway 'they know about it' now - and hopefully with rest and the antibiotics, your health will be re-established.

It can be hard to reach a diagnosis. I have 'irritable bowel syndrome' - which really just means what they say you have if they've investigated & haven't found anything definite.

I hope you soon feel much more yourself. But if not, go back again. My husband (Taggart) has finally been discharged from the kidney clinic after 13 years. When he had his crisis in 2002 - a rare condition - we were fobbed off at first & I was told that I was making too much of a fuss. But I'm glad I did - the extra tests showed up what was wrong & this may have saved Tag's life, as it definitely did save his kidneys, after a month of dialysis.

Good luck. Let us know how you get on. :tiphat:


----------



## isorhythm

Well, the antibiotics seem to have almost completely cleared up whatever it was in just a couple days. There may be something to this modern medicine stuff!


----------



## Ingélou

isorhythm said:


> Well, the antibiotics seem to have almost completely cleared up whatever it was in just a couple days. There may be something to this modern medicine stuff!


Hooray! *So* pleased to hear this!


----------



## KenOC

isorhythm said:


> Well, the antibiotics seem to have almost completely cleared up whatever it was in just a couple days. There may be something to this modern medicine stuff!


Great news. Do us all a favor and take 'em all.


----------



## Guest

My mum has passed away. I'm left with the grief and happy memories, but also the glad knowledge she has been spared any more suffering.


----------



## Abraham Lincoln

Sorry to hear of your loss, dogen. May she rest in peace.


----------



## Art Rock

Sorry about your loss, Dogen. 

My balance disorder issues play up again. Every few days, I get dizzy, throw up and have to spend the rest of the day in bed. The doctor days I just have to learn to live with it.


----------



## Kivimees

My condolences to dogen as well.


----------



## Ingélou

dogen said:


> My mum has passed away. I'm left with the grief and happy memories, but also the glad knowledge she has been spared any more suffering.


I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you for helping me with my problems when you were so beset yourself. Very best wishes for the weeks and months ahead. xx


----------



## Guest

Thank you for all the kind words.


----------



## Morimur

dogen said:


> my mum has passed away. I'm left with the grief and happy memories, but also the glad knowledge she has been spared any more suffering.


***
***
rip
***
***


----------



## KenOC

Question for anybody here. Do you rely on a powered mobility device to get you around? What do you like, and why? Recommendations? Thanks in advance!


----------



## Wood

KenOC said:


> Question for anybody here. Do you rely on a powered mobility device to get you around? What do you like, and why? Recommendations? Thanks in advance!


I've noticed that in the Netherlands the devices seem to be considerably faster than the ones in the UK. So if and when the time comes when I require one, I shall be looking to Holland for my wheels.


----------



## TxllxT

Misery: condolences to all who lost a beloved during the terrorist attacks in Paris.


----------



## Ingélou

TxllxT said:


> Misery: condolences to all who lost a beloved during the terrorist attacks in Paris.


Seconded. We didn't know about it until we woke up this morning. How terrible & how tragic. Our heartfelt sympathy to all those who were affected.


----------



## Guest

TxllxT said:


> Misery: condolences to all who lost a beloved during the terrorist attacks in Paris.


Indeed. I fear what the world is sliding into.


----------



## Guest

So now I get a text from my brother; he's in hospital having had a heart attack on Wednesday. He's had a stent and his daughter tells me he's OK.
It's grim up north.


----------



## Ingélou

dogen said:


> So now I get a text from my brother; he's in hospital having had a heart attack on Wednesday. He's had a stent and his daughter tells me he's OK.
> It's grim up north.


So sorry to hear this. I hope he is soon well on the road to recovery. Very best wishes, Mollie & John.


----------



## Art Rock

dogen said:


> So now I get a text from my brother; he's in hospital having had a heart attack on Wednesday. He's had a stent and his daughter tells me he's OK.
> It's grim up north.


As a heart attack survivor (November 2010): chances are very good that your brother will be OK long term if he is diagnosed as OK now.


----------



## Guest

Art Rock said:


> As a heart attack survivor (November 2010): chances are very good that your brother will be OK long term if he is diagnosed as OK now.


Thank you, that's reassuring.


----------



## isorhythm

dogen, condolences to you, and wishing your brother a fast recovery.


----------



## Jos

In agony, gallstones came loose last friday. Surgeon shot me into oblivion with a generous dose of morphine. Weekend was a bit of a blur. Still unwell from all the chemicals in my body.
Intake was today, wednesday a "pre-operative screening" and hopefuly early next week they are going to remove my gallbladder.
This was my second attack in eight months. Never again. Crawling up the wall, can't sit or lie down. Absolute nightmare.
Can't even enjoy music very much !

All the best to the previous posters here. You're in my thoughts when the pain subsides a bit


----------



## Ingélou

Oh dear - Taggart had this sort of trouble last year, so we know what you must be going through. We hope so much that you get respite soon. Good luck with the gallbladder removal. Best wishes & sympathy.


----------



## Taggart

Never had it quite that bad. When mine came loose it was an overnight problem. Trouble is, they got stuck and about six weeks later I ended up with pancreatitis. Because of that I had to wait till they got my gall bladder out.

Hope you will be feeling a lot better soon. Once your gall bladder is out, things should improve rapidly. All the best!


----------



## Jos

^^
Yes, the surgeon told me today about the dangers of a gallstone getting stuck. You must have had high fevers probably.
My first encounter with this phenomenon was about eight months ago and also an overnight affair, albeit a painful one.
This one took it up a notch, to put it mildly.
Must eat some humble pie at my GP, he very clearly advised removal of the bladder. Last bit of youthful stubbornness I guess. Was still fortynine then:lol:
Good to hear that things go better quickly after the operation.
Thanks for your support.
Jos


----------



## Guest

Ouch Jos. Hope this nightmare ends soonest.


----------



## Jos

^^
Thanks, Dogen.
I hope so too. My powerfull painkiller is doing its job nicely atm. 
So I'll spin one vinyl and then nite nite :tiphat:


----------



## Guest

I hope Moony is on the up!


----------



## Dr Johnson

dogen said:


> I hope Moony is on the up!


If you mean MoonlightSonata, I second that!


----------



## Stirling

third as well, though Beethoven did not like as much as others.


----------



## Sloe

I had a headache yesterday and just felt terrible.


----------



## SarahNorthman

someone just come and put me out of my misery. I dont want to be sick anymore.


----------



## Grizzled Ghost

KenOC said:


> Question for anybody here. Do you rely on a powered mobility device to get you around? What do you like, and why? Recommendations? Thanks in advance!











Just sayin....


----------



## KenOC

This thread has been quiet for over two years! Must be that everybody is doing great, which is good news (and which I really don’t believe for a minute).

My report: Vision problems took me to a specialist yesterday. He gave me a look-see and said, it’s band keratopathy, calcium salts precipitated across the central cornea. Age-related usually; nobody knows why it happens. But yes, he can fix it using a horrendously expensive laser. Even his rather large hospital doesn’t have one; they depend on an outside company to bring the laser and gear around on a skid for a few days at a time.

While you’re lasing me (the procedure is like a PRK), can you correct my vision too? No, because you’re already far-sighted and this will further flatten your cornea, so you’ll require even more correction. You may even need solid contact lenses. But fear not (he says), I can go in later and zap your cataracts, so maybe we can fix things at that point.

At the very least, I’m looking forward to lots and lots of releases, risk waivers, and the like. But if the surgeon who treated Bach’s and Handel’s eyes had a laser, maybe they would have lived longer to write more music. Well, assuming he could have found somewhere to plug it in, of course.


----------



## Norman Gunston

Just look at the positives, Ive got keratoconus but only in one eye. Plus if i find the world does't look too good (or a girl) I just close my good eye and everything is rosy......


----------



## Klassik

Norman Gunston said:


> Just look at the positives, Ive got keratoconus but only in one eye. Plus if i find the world does't look too good (or a girl) *I just close my good eye and everything is rosy*......


This could come in handy when reading the main forum. Just switch to some visual 4'33" whenever you see a pseudo-intellectual!  (No pun intended with that emoji )


----------



## KenOC

Klassik said:


> This could come in handy when reading the main forum. Just switch to some visual 4'33" whenever you see a pseudo-intellectual!  (No pun intended with that emoji )


If I turned my head every time I encountered a post by a pseudo intellectual on this site, it would twist around so many times it would fall off. And I certainly don't except my own posts! :lol:


----------



## Klassik

KenOC said:


> If I turned my head every time I encountered a post by a pseudo intellectual on this site, it would twist around so many times it would fall off. And I certainly don't except my own posts! :lol:


The pseudo-intellectuals aren't too difficult to avoid if one does not read the main forum or the religious music forum. Well, there are some forums on TC that are a mystery to most of us. Who knows what goes on in the percussion & other instruments forum. Witchcraft? Illegal gambling? Maybe both?  Either way, it beats having to read the posts from pseudos.


----------



## KenOC

Norman Gunston said:


> Just look at the positives, Ive got keratoconus but only in one eye. Plus if i find the world does't look too good (or a girl) I just close my good eye and everything is rosy......


This treatment was recently approved in the US: "Corneal collagen cross-linking is a treatment that causes the cornea to become stiff. In most cases, it prevents the condition from getting worse. It may then be possible to reshape the cornea with laser vision correction."

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001013.htm


----------



## Norman Gunston

KenOC said:


> This treatment was recently approved in the US: "Corneal collagen cross-linking is a treatment that causes the cornea to become stiff. In most cases, it prevents the condition from getting worse. It may then be possible to reshape the cornea with laser vision correction."
> 
> https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001013.htm


as long as I don't end up going Bach


----------



## Triplets

Anyone had to deal with Dental Implants? It’s been my main health issue tha past 2 years. I had cracked the porcelain crown over the 2 right lower implanted molars and got gingivitis. Meanwhile I had had the 2 lower molars on the left implanted so now I have no lower molars. Living on protein shakes and soup. At least it’s good for the diet...


----------



## Capeditiea

Triplets said:


> Anyone had to deal with Dental Implants? It's been my main health issue tha past 2 years. I had cracked the porcelain crown over the 2 right lower implanted molars and got gingivitis. Meanwhile I had had the 2 lower molars on the left implanted so now I have no lower molars. Living on protein shakes and soup. At least it's good for the diet...


i haven't had to deal with implants... but i have only one lower molar on my left side, and no top front teeth... so i know the difficulties of eating with out molars... (but having none would just be insanely scary...)

i fear getting implants... because they could input some kinda device that would take over my motor functions and turn me into a super secret soldier for the government... (which is not likely to happen... but it could.)


----------



## KenOC

What's the matter with dentures, full or partial? I've had full dentures for years, no issues eating aside from things like biting apples. Glue 'em in each morning and forget about them the rest of the day.

Only problem is finding a dentist who will do things like refits and so forth. They're relatively cheap and there's no money in them for the dentist, who wants to sell more modern high-margin "dental appliances."


----------



## Capeditiea

KenOC said:


> What's the matter with dentures, full or partial? I've had full dentures for years, no issues eating aside from things like biting apples. Glue 'em in each morning and forget about them the rest of the day.
> 
> Only problem is finding a dentist who will do things like refits and so forth. They're relatively cheap and there's no money in them for the dentist, who wants to sell more modern high-margin "dental appliances."


but wouldn't we have to lose the rest of our teeth to get them?


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Good for pulling weird faces too


----------



## KenOC

Capeditiea said:


> but wouldn't we have to lose the rest of our teeth to get them?


No...you can get partial dentures (my parents had 'em). See the Wiki entry on dentures.


----------



## Capeditiea

KenOC said:


> No...you can get partial dentures (my parents had 'em). See the Wiki entry on dentures.


do dentures feel weird?


----------



## KenOC

Capeditiea said:


> do dentures feel weird?


You'll have to ask a denture. :lol::lol::lol:


----------



## Capeditiea

KenOC said:


> You'll have to ask a denture. :lol::lol::lol:


lol ...well... okay, i'll wait.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

KenOC said:


> You'll have to ask a denture. :lol::lol::lol:


All that Novocaine, I guess


----------



## JosefinaHW

Friday was my father's birthday. Tonight, I made the mistake of watching Little Women on Masterpiece; I have ALWAYS hated that story. Both the name on my paperwork and the name my mother wanted to give me and still calls me come from that damn story. My father's name was Joseph and his father's name was Josef. Everything changes when you lose your father. You realize that you can never go back. I hate that story.


----------



## Woodduck

Gosh, the things you don't discover when you go on a ramble around this forum! Who'd have expected to find a place where you could tell people who'd rather you were dead that life is killing you?


----------



## JosefinaHW

Woodduck said:


> Gosh, the things you don't discover when you go on a ramble around this forum! Who'd have expected to find a place where you could tell people who'd rather you were dead that life is killing you?


Just so this stays as a reminder to me: _Gosh, the things you don't discover when you go on a ramble around this forum! Who'd have expected to find a place where you could tell people who'd rather you were dead that life is killing you?

_​Wow! I was feeling beat-up and old and you tell me I have the power to produce such a powerful emotion in others. Thank you. I couldn't have asked for a better gift.


----------



## SixFootScowl

KenOC said:


> What's the matter with dentures, full or partial? I've had full dentures for years, no issues eating aside from things like biting apples. Glue 'em in each morning and forget about them the rest of the day.
> 
> Only problem is finding a dentist who will do things like refits and so forth. They're relatively cheap and there's no money in them for the dentist, who wants to sell more modern high-margin "dental appliances."


I don't like the glue. I have a lower partial to fill both sides as I only have front teeth in the lower jaw. Implants are expensive and because of bone loss they wanted to do a bloody nasty surgery and stuff cadaver bone powder in there. I said no.



Capeditiea said:


> do dentures feel weird?


My partial because it has a lower part that straddles the gums, sits wider in the mouth. If food gets stuck between them and the cheek it is much harder, if not impossible to tongue it out. Otherwise you get used to them. My partial would be like a torture device until it got adjusted just so. Now it is fine, but a bit loose and I find myself flipping it off my teeth with my tongue. Not a good idea if eating because food gets under and then can hurt.


----------



## SixFootScowl

KenOC said:


> This thread has been quiet for over two years! Must be that everybody is doing great, which is good news (and which I really don't believe for a minute).
> 
> My report: Vision problems took me to a specialist yesterday. He gave me a look-see and said, it's band keratopathy, calcium salts precipitated across the central cornea. Age-related usually; nobody knows why it happens. But yes, he can fix it using a horrendously expensive laser. Even his rather large hospital doesn't have one; they depend on an outside company to bring the laser and gear around on a skid for a few days at a time.
> 
> While you're lasing me (the procedure is like a PRK), can you correct my vision too? No, because you're already far-sighted and this will further flatten your cornea, so you'll require even more correction. You may even need solid contact lenses. But fear not (he says), I can go in later and zap your cataracts, so maybe we can fix things at that point.
> 
> At the very least, I'm looking forward to lots and lots of releases, risk waivers, and the like. But if the surgeon who treated Bach's and Handel's eyes had a laser, maybe they would have lived longer to write more music. Well, assuming he could have found somewhere to plug it in, of course.


In 2015 and 2017 I had cataract surgery where they implanted a plastic lens in the eyeball. I have focal lengths of about 10 inches in one eye and 6 or 8 feet in the other. The brain interpolates between the two focal lengths. No need for glasses but to drive and hike outdoors. Everything works pretty good but really close up stuff needs a magnifying glass.


----------



## Capeditiea

Fritz Kobus said:


> I don't like the glue. I have a lower partial to fill both sides as I only have front teeth in the lower jaw. Implants are expensive and because of bone loss they wanted to do a bloody nasty surgery and stuff cadaver bone powder in there. I said no.
> 
> My partial because it has a lower part that straddles the gums, sits wider in the mouth. If food gets stuck between them and the cheek it is much harder, if not impossible to tongue it out. Otherwise you get used to them. My partial would be like a torture device until it got adjusted just so. Now it is fine, but a bit loose and I find myself flipping it off my teeth with my tongue. Not a good idea if eating because food gets under and then can hurt.


*nods, so whenever i do get enough courage to go to get partials... i must be prepared for a potential torture device, and to not use my tongue (which may end up becoming some kind of habitual addiction of flipping it off my ...teeth?


----------



## Capeditiea

Sadly, tonight i cannot poo... i have attempted 3 times... my local friend is wanting me to come over to spend the night... (which is also the opportune time to play dark souls 3 while he is asleep... but at the same time, they have an evil mean dog that bites me almost everytime i enter into the kitchen where the bathroom is... i mean i would happily go if their basement toilet worked...  because then i wouldn't have to dash three feet to make it to the bathroom and close the door before the dog decides it is a great idea to have my ankle as dinner... or which ever meal it happens to be close to at the time of this experience...) which then i have to dash the opposite direction... which then is a lot longer distance since the gate that blocks the dog from me is no longer available as a form of protection... i would have to dash through two curtains, hop over some children's toys, a possible cute little kitty which i want to take home with me... but the dog here at my parents... a much nicer dog, but a similar breed doesn't like cats very well... and i would never hear the end of it from my dad saying... "I am allergic to cats." 
but then i make it to the door to the basemect which no longer has the handle since my friend who was drunk at the time decided it was a pleasant idea to faceplant into the doorknob thanks to tripping over some kind of invisible chair... 
which was later taken down since whom ever would go down the stairs would end up being temporarily trapped down there... where my friend decided to always have it closed so the cute little kitty doesn't come down and shed everywhere... or pal around me... since he knows i would probably take the cat home in my backpack... but that is not what i was trying to say... 

i cannot poo...


----------



## KenOC

Capeditiea said:


> Sadly, tonight i cannot poo... i have attempted 3 times... my local friend is wanting me to come over to spend the night...


Magnesium citrate is available in soft drink-like bottles where I live. It works! Or two or three teaspoons of Epsom salts in a glass of warm water will get things moving with maximum velocity.

This stuff ain't pretty, but they WILL do the job.


----------



## Capeditiea

KenOC said:


> Magnesium citrate is available in soft drink-like bottles where I live. It works! Or two or three teaspoons of Epsom salts in a glass of warm water will get things moving with maximum velocity.
> 
> This stuff ain't pretty, but they WILL do the job.


i am fairly certain it is cheaper here... if we have it, could you grant me the price range and a possible photo of what i would be looking for?


----------



## KenOC

Capeditiea said:


> i am fairly certain it is cheaper here... if we have it, could you grant me the price range and a possible photo of what i would be looking for?


Magnesium citrate, a buck of two here.










Epsom salts, a lifetime supply for a buck or two.


----------



## Capeditiea

KenOC said:


> Magnesium citrate, a buck of two here.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Epsom salts, a lifetime supply for a buck or two.


one more question before i embark on this quest. can i use them with food stamps?


----------



## KenOC

Capeditiea said:


> one more question before i embark on this quest. can i use them with food stamps?


That I do not know. I suggest taking both to the checkout and see what happens. They can be found in larger grocery stores or, if not there, in drug stores.


----------



## Capeditiea

KenOC said:


> That I do not know. I suggest taking both to the checkout and see what happens. They can be found in larger grocery stores or, if not there, in drug stores.


i may require some cash just incase...


----------



## SixFootScowl

Regularly (pun) eat your vegetables and fruit and in the morning have a few cups of coffee. That should keep everything moving in the pipes.


----------



## Guest

And homemade kefir.


----------



## Capeditiea

Tulse said:


> And homemade kefir.


:O but i don't own any cows, goats, or sheep...


----------



## Woodduck

JosefinaHW said:


> Just so this stays as a reminder to me: _Gosh, the things you don't discover when you go on a ramble around this forum! Who'd have expected to find a place where you could tell people who'd rather you were dead that life is killing you?
> 
> _​Wow! I was feeling beat-up and old and you tell me I have the power to produce such a powerful emotion in others. Thank you. I couldn't have asked for a better gift.


Sorry to disappoint, but it wasn't about you, or anyone in particular. I assume that wishing I were dead is a more diffuse, general sentiment.

You can go back to feeling beat-up and old. :tiphat:


----------



## JosefinaHW

Woodduck said:


> Gosh, the things you don't discover when you go on a ramble around this forum! Who'd have expected to find a place where you could tell people who'd rather you were dead that life is killing you?


Well, let's have some fun with this! Fabulous music about death and a death wish! Please, Everyone, join the fun!

If someone is gonna' wish me dead, I'm gonna' dream big here:


----------



## JosefinaHW

Verdi, _Quel vecchio_, Rigoletti, Milnes and Ramey


----------



## JosefinaHW

Let's enjoy the best of the best from the best requiems.....


----------



## JosefinaHW

Mozart, _Rex tremendae

_


----------



## JosefinaHW

My post score is going to soar today! Mozart, _Dies irae_


----------



## Jacck

you called for it ... 
Xathrites - My Last Day Story ( Depressive Black Metal )


----------



## JosefinaHW

Barber, _Adagio for Strings_, Platoon


----------



## JosefinaHW

Jacck said:


> you called for it ...
> Xathrites - My Last Day Story ( Depressive Black Metal )


Yes, I did! Quite possibly if I find that I need an asbestos suit this should probably be on the soundtrack that plays during my fitting. :lol:

Many Thanks, Jacck! Right off the bat, you get the first prize for the first post!


----------



## JosefinaHW

Herrmann, _Psycho Suite _ (I'll spare you from the movie footage.)


----------



## JosefinaHW

I couldn't possibly die before hearing a Bond song for one last time.....

Chris Cornell, _You Know My Name, _Casino Royale


----------



## Guest

Oh crikey, that Purcell is amazing, but it has to be Janet Baker.


----------



## Guest




----------



## JosefinaHW

Tulse said:


> Oh crikey, that Purcell is amazing, but it has to be Janet Baker.


Many Thanks, Tulse! Yes, Janet Baker can take over for the final "Remember Me's"!


----------



## Jacck

Blue Oyster Cult - (Don't Fear) The Reaper


----------



## Jacck

Creeping Death-Metallica


----------



## SixFootScowl




----------



## Granate

Please I wanna Die, die, die
Die, die, die 
It's muffin time cuz 
I wanna die, die, die-please, I wanna 
Die, die, die Die, die, die 
It's muffin time 
cuz I wanna die, die, die


----------



## SixFootScowl

Here is a very apt song for a thread of this title:


----------



## JosefinaHW

Jacck said:


> Blue Oyster Cult - (Don't Fear) The Reaper


Message to All: *You Guys are Wonderful!!!!* Jacck, I especially liked the part from 2:30-3:20.


----------



## JosefinaHW

Jacck said:


> Creeping Death-Metallica


To do a great deed before the final moment, I am going to play this at full volume with ALL of my speakers directed towards the house of my neighbor who killed a chipmunk because it was living in her garden!!!


----------



## JosefinaHW

Fritz Kobus said:


>


Fritz, I am TRULY honored! This is amazing.

BUT, it is tempting me to ditch my attempt at discipline in listening to Handel's operas and jump to The Ring. grrrrrr


----------



## JosefinaHW

Granate said:


> Please I wanna Die, die, die
> Die, die, die
> It's muffin time cuz
> I wanna die, die, die-please, I wanna
> Die, die, die Die, die, die
> It's muffin time
> cuz I wanna die, die, die


Hmmmmmmmmmmm??? This is SERIOUSLY CREEPY! I hope someone posts it in the Creepy Pictures Thread! 

D...I....S.....T....A....N....T....L....Y reminds me of my reaction to hearing my brother-in-law play the following for the first time!!!


----------



## JosefinaHW

Fritz Kobus said:


> Here is a very apt song for a thread of this title:


Cheers, Fritizi! Thank you for reminding me that this is Ken's thread.... 

Hmmmmm, I suppose I have to post something Russian to make it up to Ken. Does a Russian of German Jewish count?


----------



## znapschatz

Okay, I'll play.


----------



## SixFootScowl

JosefinaHW said:


> Fritz, I am TRULY honored! This is amazing.
> 
> BUT, it is tempting me to ditch my attempt at discipline in listening to Handel's operas and jump to The Ring. grrrrrr


Both are worthy. It's just that I have not figured out a way to listen to Handel and Wagner at the same time.



JosefinaHW said:


> Cheers, Fritizi! Thank you for reminding me that this is Ken's thread....


Actually it was my desire to post that particular song. 

Also, I like your new avatar and signature in honor of our good TC friend Pugg, whom will be sorely missed by both of us.


----------



## JosefinaHW

Fritz Kobus said:


> Both are worthy. It's just that I have not figured out a way to listen to Handel and Wagner at the same time.
> 
> Actually it was my desire to post that particular song.
> 
> Also, I like your new avatar and signature in honor of our good TC friend Pugg, whom will be sorely missed by both of us.


You are a damn good egg, My Friend! I think we have Granate to thank for the avatar idea: Another damn good egg!


----------



## JosefinaHW

znapschatz said:


> Okay, I'll play.


Excellent choice, Z! Dudamel looks like he is really loving the idea of the execution.  :lol:


----------



## JosefinaHW

Okay, okay, okay..... We have to bring a bit more normality to My Last Moments.


----------



## JosefinaHW

I leave (no, not the final one, just for several hours) with a toast to "the....being"--my sister's words--that made all this possible.

Hugo Wolf, Thomas Allen _Der Abschied





_


----------



## Barbebleu

Pugg, no, Rogerx, no, Pugg. Whichever. He must be doubled over laughing at the thought that some of us think he is no longer posting. One day all will be revealed.


----------



## Barbebleu

In answer to the OP. Under active Thyroid requiring meds, hypertension requiring meds , irregular heartbeat requiring beta-blockers and blood thinners to prevent a stroke, post-vitreous detachment in one eye and the start of a cataract in the other. Ah me. Apart from that I'm in the pink. Well you can't live forever and I always look on the bright side. Every day above the ground is a good day.:lol:


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

I am in such a State its unbelievable


----------



## SixFootScowl

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> I am in such a State its unbelievable


California?
. . .


----------



## David OByrne

Fritz Kobus said:


> California?
> . . .


Like totally!

outer space


----------



## laurie

Oh my gosh, like, gag me with a spoon!


----------



## Capeditiea

laurie said:


> Oh my gosh, like, gag me with a spoon!


*grabs a spoon.  Ready?


----------



## Barbebleu

laurie said:


> Oh my gosh, like, gag me with a spoon!


Valley girls, like, rule all!!


----------



## laurie

Capeditiea said:


> *grabs a spoon.  Ready?


I'm like, so sure, like that would be like, totally disgusting, like, so grody, like god, what a bummer, fer sure, like ......

Etc, etc.


----------



## Guest

Bag those toenails.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Sounds more like californication


----------



## David OByrne

EddieRUKiddingVarese said:


> Sounds more like californication


I don't ever want to feel Like I did that day. Take me to the place I love, take me all the way


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

On a similar vein and in keeping with the OP 

Any Downers? Zappa


----------



## Guest

...more veins... .


----------



## JosefinaHW

Hopefully my last post; that's why there are books. It's my end so I get to dream big. As for all the little ***** on TC, there really should be more blood in this scene, but nevertheless, I hope you are entertained:


----------



## JosefinaHW

You all deserve each other.


----------



## EddieRUKiddingVarese

Happy together


----------



## hpowders

It's deja vu all over again. 

Sad.


----------



## KenOC

Back to the purpose of this thread...I got hit by gout! That's no joke, it's a truly major pain. Fortunately, my wife had it before and I swallowed one of her leftover indomethacin pills. Unfortunately, you're not supposed to do that on an empty stomach! So my foot is fine, but I haven't been able to eat all day.

But as Poor Richard says, "To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals." So maybe I've added a year to two to my life expectancy...?


----------



## LezLee

Sorry to hear that Ken, a friend of mine has gout a couple of times a year and is really laid low by it. As he’s a gardener on a large estate, it means he can’t work for weeks at a time. 
I had indomethacin many years ago for ‘chondromalacia patellae’ - incredibly painful inflammation of both knees. It did work though. Are you on Omeprazole or similar? I had them to prevent any stomach irritation which is common with that treatment.


----------



## Triplets

Gout is bad. But hemorrhoids are a real pain in the ***


----------



## KenOC

LezLee said:


> Sorry to hear that Ken, a friend of mine has gout a couple of times a year and is really laid low by it. As he's a gardener on a large estate, it means he can't work for weeks at a time.
> I had indomethacin many years ago for 'chondromalacia patellae' - incredibly painful inflammation of both knees. It did work though. Are you on Omeprazole or similar? I had them to prevent any stomach irritation which is common with that treatment.


Hi Lez. I took omeprazole for years, but recently had to switch to a different proton pump inhibitor. Anyway, I took a second dose of that and after a long while the tummy got better!


----------



## Überstürzter Neumann

I have one of my typical Sjögren flares. It takes no specialist to deduce that this has to do with the fact that my lovely young girlfriend, who as late as a month ago was of the opinion that I am the most wonderful person in the world, suddenly decided to disappear out of my life. So here is a video to "celebrate" this.


----------



## Tallisman

I've been so depressed I've actually started finding some comfort in Mahler again. Not a joke. Was so down for the last few days that, for the first time in months, not even books and music could bring me back up and I was just trapped in my thoughts. Think I'm coming out of it now.


----------



## Roger Knox

KenOC said:


> Back to the purpose of this thread...I got hit by gout! That's no joke, it's a truly major pain. Fortunately, my wife had it before and I swallowed one of her leftover indomethacin pills. QUOTE]
> 
> I take that drug "as needed." But gout is no joke.


----------



## Guest

I've eaten too many chocolates!


----------



## senza sordino

I've hurt my back. A week ago I leaned over a desk and felt a twinge. "Oh, that's not right I said". For two full days my back was in a spasm, a constant contraction. It was healing, until yesterday. I picked up something obviously too heavy. Now I'm in pain again. I can walk fine, I can sit upright in a chair, I can lay down to go to sleep, but I can't move between those positions very easily. I'm normally quite agile. Putting on my trousers, socks and shoes is now a challenge. This is annoying and painful. Another sign I'm getting old. 

I've taken some ibuprofen but not muscle relaxers.


----------



## KenOC

Have a spine X-ray done ASAP. The doc will look for a VCF (vertically compressed fracture). This is usually 100% treatable with a kyphoplasty, but it must be done while the fracture is still "green" -- 60 days more or less. I've had this happen twice.


----------



## Zofia

Mum (Mom?) friend tells me it is Mum but American friend says Mom what is the different? Has cancer of the liver, shes not smoker or much drinking of alcohol only wine with dinner occasionally. Makes me very sad have bad dream a lot of it.


----------



## Joe B

Zofia said:


> Mum (Mom?) friend tells me it is Mum but American friend says Mom what is the different? Has cancer of the liver, shes not smoker or much drinking of alcohol only wine with dinner occasionally. Makes me very sad have bad dream a lot of it.


I'm very sorry to hear this. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## SixFootScowl

Zofia said:


> Mum (Mom?) friend tells me it is Mum but American friend says Mom what is the different? Has cancer of the liver, shes not smoker or much drinking of alcohol only wine with dinner occasionally. Makes me very sad have bad dream a lot of it.


Sorry about your Mom. I will keep her in my prayers.

Here in Michigan I have heard Mom and sometimes Ma (my brother actually said that but not me or sister). But Ma sounds like the noise a goat makes.


----------



## Joe B

senza sordino said:


> I've hurt my back. A week ago I leaned over a desk and felt a twinge. "Oh, that's not right I said". For two full days my back was in a spasm, a constant contraction. It was healing, until yesterday. I picked up something obviously too heavy. Now I'm in pain again. I can walk fine, I can sit upright in a chair, I can lay down to go to sleep, but I can't move between those positions very easily. I'm normally quite agile. Putting on my trousers, socks and shoes is now a challenge. This is annoying and painful. Another sign I'm getting old.
> 
> I've taken some ibuprofen but not muscle relaxers.


Sorry to hear about your back. I've hurt mine several times in the past; some serious, some as innocent as yours. You've got to give it time to heal. Be careful of taking too much ibuprofen.....it's awful on your digestive tract. I've found great help visiting some highly trained OT people in my town when in this type of situation. Hope you heal up quickly.


----------



## RockyIII

Zofia said:


> Mum (Mom?) friend tells me it is Mum but American friend says Mom what is the different?


The Brits and some other countries say mum. In the United States, we say mom. Personally, I use the word mother for mine.

Mom, mum, mother, etc. are only capitalized when used as a proper noun. For example, you would say "I'm going to the store with Mom" or "I'm going to the store with my mom."

I'm sorry to hear about your mother's health problems. I hope she gets better.

Rocky


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## Zofia

senza sordino said:


> I've hurt my back.


Oh no there is nothing worse my Father did the same thing last year at the Squash game. He was more mürrisch than after the Germany Mexico match.

Get well soon!


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## KenOC

Misery indeed. Colonoscopy tomorrow morning.


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## SixFootScowl

KenOC said:


> Misery indeed. Colonoscopy tomorrow morning.


I refuse to get another colonoscopy. I don't think it worth the risk. My doctor agrees with me that if my stool blood test comes up negative, we don't worry about it. Actually there is a blood test that is about 95% accurate for this and he would have done it but the insurance didn't cover it; rather they covered the far more expensive procedure.


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## Zofia

KenOC said:


> Misery indeed. Colonoscopy tomorrow morning.


Oof Sad Panda but I hope all goes with no problems...


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## LezLee

KenOC said:


> Misery indeed. Colonoscopy tomorrow morning.


Hope all goes well, Ken.


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## senza sordino

My back is getting better, slowly. I took the day off work today. My first sick day in 16 months of work. Mornings are rough, it seems to take an eternity to get moving. After sleeping rigour mortis sets in. By mid day, I feel good. I've still been taking the ibuprofen. 

Ken, I hope your colonoscopy goes well. I had this procedure two years ago. They found two polyps, one of which was sent to the lab for a biopsy. All clear. I had another stool test last year, and the test said all is clear, the colonoscopy worked. Is this TMI? At the time of the first colonoscopy the doctor said I should have another in five years. The thought of getting it done is actually worse than the actual procedure, which was generally easy. I was drugged.


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## KenOC

senza sordino said:


> ...At the time of the first colonoscopy the doctor said I should have another in five years. The thought of getting it done is actually worse than the actual procedure, which was generally easy. I was drugged.


Yeah, right now I'm on a 3-year interval. It was 1-year a wqhile back, probably because of a history of polyps and my older brother's death early death from colon cancer.

I agree that the procedure (sedated) isn't bad, but I loathe drinking that huge jug of foul-tasting stuff the night before!


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## DaveM

KenOC said:


> Yeah, right now I'm on a 3-year interval. It was 1-year a wqhile back, probably because of a history of polyps and my older brother's death early death from colon cancer.
> 
> I agree that the procedure (sedated) isn't bad, but I loathe drinking that huge jug of foul-tasting stuff the night before!


Yes, it's the 'prep' that everyone hates, assuming that good sedation is given for the colonoscopy. I have always insisted on good sedation which, in my experience, requires a narcotic in addition to the sedative. The narcotic, which can be Demerol or fentanyl, relaxes the colon wall which is as important as its analgesic properties. The sedative part is usually propofol or Versed these days.

It's interesting that in Canada, it seems they often only give Versed with no narcotic which means my mother and sister both felt discomfort. Full disclosure: some people do okay with just Versed. God bless them. 

Good luck tomorrrow.


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## senza sordino

My friend, who recently had a colonoscopy, told me that we were given fentanyl. I don't remember a thing from the procedure. All I remember is that I was wheeled in, turned on my side, the doctor asked a few questions and then it was over and I was in the recovery room. No time elapsed. How long does it typically last? 30 to 60 minutes? Whatever the time, it seemed like seconds. We're not allowed to drive for 24 hours after.


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## SixFootScowl

senza sordino said:


> My friend, who recently had a colonoscopy, told me that we were given fentanyl. I don't remember a thing from the procedure. All I remember is that I was wheeled in, turned on my side, the doctor asked a few questions and then it was over and I was in the recovery room. No time elapsed. How long does it typically last? 30 to 60 minutes? Whatever the time, it seemed like seconds. We're not allowed to drive for 24 hours after.


Same as my experience the one time I did it. I know a guy, was a missionary and had a colonoscopy in Mexico. Took about 8 hours for him to come out of the anaesthesia.


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## LezLee

Fritz Kobus said:


> Same as my experience the one time I did it. I know a guy, was a missionary and had a colonoscopy in Mexico. Took about 8 hours for him to come out of the anaesthesia.


I was wide awake the whole time for my colonoscopy about 30 years ago. Not painful but very uncomfortable and unpleasant. They didn't find anything wrong.


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## KenOC

Just started chugging that stuff down. Oh. Yum.


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## DaveM

Btw, re: a previous post, there is no available blood test (ie. using a blood sample) that is 95% effective in detecting colon cancer. There is a blood test that is under investigation, but is not yet ready for prime time. There is an occult fecal blood test which is not nearly as effective as a colonoscopy, but can be helpful information in some situations. Then there is the Cologard fecal test that can detect some DNA cancer markers and is fairly effective in low-risk situations (no history of polyps and no major family history of colon cancer), but still not as effective as colonoscopy.


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## Zofia

Good luck Ken! 

Can’t really walk right now and I have music exam in two days. Will take a wheelchair to school if I meed but honestly practice for a few hour before bed pedals were the hell on earth...


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## KenOC

Zofia said:


> Good luck Ken!
> 
> Can't really walk right now and I have music exam in two days. Will take a wheelchair to school if I meed but honestly practice for a few hour before bed pedals were the hell on earth...


Why can't you walk? This is the thread to say. Hope I didn't miss an earlier post!


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## Zofia

KenOC said:


> Why can't you walk? This is the thread to say. Hope I didn't miss an earlier post!


i did mention it before but I don't mind repeating. I have autoimmune causes inflammation feeling in my joints; I can physically walk yes but the pain would be too great. Happenes to Mother also I am just unlucky out of my 5 sibling I am only one to inherit it.


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## Larkenfield

Zofia said:


> I did mention it before but I don't mind repeating. I have autoimmune causes inflammation feeling in my joints; I can physically walk yes but the pain would be too great. Happenes to Mother also I am just unlucky out of my 5 siblings I am only one to inherit it.


Ouch! Sounds painful. Wishing you all the best in dealing with this condition. I had polio at the age of nine months and walked with crutches for years. I'm at the age now that it doesn't matter and I've had a full life and it ain't over till the fat lady sings.  Spirit trumps Karma.


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## Zofia

Lost weight again does not make sense I eat much caloires 2500 - 3000 a day. Got into trouble for it T_T


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## SixFootScowl

DaveM said:


> Btw, re: a previous post, *there is no available blood test (ie. using a blood sample) that is 95% effective in detecting colon cancer.* There is a blood test that is under investigation, but is not yet ready for prime time. There is an occult fecal blood test which is not nearly as effective as a colonoscopy, but can be helpful information in some situations. Then there is the Cologard fecal test that can detect some DNA cancer markers and is fairly effective in low-risk situations (no history of polyps and no major family history of colon cancer), but still not as effective as colonoscopy.


I recall asking my doctor about it and he said there is a blood test but not as effective. I can't remember but thought he said something like 95%. It probably is a blood test for cancer in general as I doubt a blood test could specify what cancer.

Actually I heard that you can take a pregnancy blood test (and assuming you are not a pregnant woman) if it comes up positive, it means you have some kind of cancer. There is apparently something that both pregnancy and cancer cause to elevate in the body that it picks up. Whether it is true, I don't know.


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## SixFootScowl

Zofia said:


> Good luck Ken!
> 
> Can't really walk right now and I have music exam in two days. Will take a wheelchair to school if I meed but honestly practice for a few hour before bed pedals were the hell on earth...


Do they have online courses? Some online work would help minimize need to walk. Would be nice if you could connect to the course by the web during times you have this pain.


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## Zofia

Fritz Kobus said:


> Do they have online courses? Some online work would help minimize need to walk. Would be nice if you could connect to the course by the web during times you have this pain.


Much thanks foe your concern. I will be fine by Monday I am already likely 95% back to normal. We actually do livestream the class for those unable to get to school that day or if you wish to watch it back after. Two teachers after the school hours came to my house and let me do it at home. Pleased to say I passed and have uploaded it to my computer just editing out some before and after adding in my "intro" before putting it on the YouTube.


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## KenOC

Fritz Kobus said:


> I recall asking my doctor about it and he said there is a blood test but not as effective. I can't remember but thought he said something like 95%. It probably is a blood test for cancer in general as I doubt a blood test could specify what cancer.
> 
> Actually I heard that you can take a pregnancy blood test (and assuming you are not a pregnant woman) if it comes up positive, it means you have some kind of cancer. There is apparently something that both pregnancy and cancer cause to elevate in the body that it picks up. Whether it is true, I don't know.


Found it. "Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG), beta subunit-In adults, significant elevation of levels of beta HCG occurs only during pregnancy and in patients with trophoblastic neoplasms or nonseminomatous germ cell tumors. As a result, it is used as a tumor marker."


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## Zofia

Not been posting here so much Mother feels more poorly. We have put together a jigsaw puzzle of Athena Pallas Painting by Rembrandt Father had it custom made for Mother she much love of jigsaws. 5000 piece oof


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## Zofia

Also is Taggart recover from his fall?


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## RockyIII

Zofia said:


> Also is Taggart recover from his fall?


Apparently Taggart is fine. A better question might be how the poor thorn bush is doing.


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## philoctetes

Woe. Just two weeks ago I was tearing up Tahoe. Last weekend we made plans to do it again. Then I had to lift something heavy the wrong way and now it looks like I'll be having surgery ASAP. Haven't seen a doctor yet but this is a reinjury and I know exactly what it is.

The good news is that I just joined Medicare at 65 after having low-income Obamacare which would not pay for much of anything. i earned my Medicare and I plan to use it. The bad news is that I'm 65 and this is going to be a big setback as I will be physically inactive for months. Now shopping for CBDs which I have not tried yet. Not sure they will help this kind of pain but worth a shot.


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## KenOC

Ouch! Sad news indeed. I've had two back injuries (fixable) and "discomfort" is hardly the way to describe the excruciations! (If that's a word...)

Can you let us know what the issue is, and how it will be treated?


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## philoctetes

Inguinal hernia. First time I ripped my gut was with a spectacular rollerblade spin that went both ways at once. This time it was just lifting 80 pounds off the floor and carrying it upstairs. Didn't really feel anything until 2 days later.

I'm in Medicare limbo since I haven't finished the paperwork to have a real "plan" and it won't be effective until March 1. Called my old doctor who told me I am no longer a patient. Looks like I am going to Kaiser as there are only three options available here. 

Called an advisor yesterday who told me I'd have maybe 20 options in other states. Guessing that's because nobody else wants to do business here in overpriced, overtaxed California, and the advisor hesitates and then says "yes sir". He's in Tampa and loves it.


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## Ingélou

philoctetes said:


> Inguinal hernia. First time I ripped my gut was with a spectacular rollerblade spin that went both ways at once. This time it was just lifting 80 pounds off the floor and carrying it upstairs. Didn't really feel anything until 2 days later.
> 
> I'm in Medicare limbo since I haven't finished the paperwork to have a real "plan" and it won't be effective until March 1. Called my old doctor who told me I am no longer a patient. Looks like I am going to Kaiser as there are only three options available here.
> 
> Called an advisor yesterday who told me I'd have maybe 20 options in other states. Guessing that's because nobody else wants to do business here in overpriced, overtaxed California, and the advisor hesitates and then says "yes sir". He's in Tampa and loves it.


Oh dear - worrying times. Hope you can get it sorted. Best wishes.


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## Joe B

philoctetes said:


> Inguinal hernia. First time I ripped my gut was with a spectacular rollerblade spin that went both ways at once. This time it was just lifting 80 pounds off the floor and carrying it upstairs. Didn't really feel anything until 2 days later.
> 
> I'm in Medicare limbo since I haven't finished the paperwork to have a real "plan" and it won't be effective until March 1. Called my old doctor who told me I am no longer a patient. Looks like I am going to Kaiser as there are only three options available here.
> 
> Called an advisor yesterday who told me I'd have maybe 20 options in other states. Guessing that's because nobody else wants to do business here in overpriced, overtaxed California, and the advisor hesitates and then says "yes sir". He's in Tampa and loves it.


Good luck! I had one with intestinal protrusion and had to wait a week before I could get surgery. The repair fixed the hernia, and 18 years of yoga, rebounding, foam rolling, stretching, and targeted body work finally resolved the issues created by the repair. I sincerely hope your's goes smoothly (materials and procedures have improved).


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## LezLee

philoctetes said:


> Woe. Just two weeks ago I was tearing up Tahoe. Last weekend we made plans to do it again. Then I had to lift something heavy the wrong way and now it looks like I'll be having surgery ASAP. Haven't seen a doctor yet but this is a reinjury and I know exactly what it is.
> 
> The good news is that I just joined Medicare at 65 after having low-income Obamacare which would not pay for much of anything. i earned my Medicare and I plan to use it. The bad news is that I'm 65 and this is going to be a big setback as I will be physically inactive for months. Now shopping for CBDs which I have not tried yet. Not sure they will help this kind of pain but worth a shot.


....What are CBDs?


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## Luchesi

LezLee said:


> ....What are CBDs?


https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/cbd-oil-benefits#section1

Marijuana has been used to treat pain as far back as 2900 B.C. (2).

More recently, scientists have discovered that certain components of marijuana, including CBD, are responsible for its pain-relieving effects.

The human body contains a specialized system called the endocannabinoid system (ECS), which is involved in regulating a variety of functions including sleep, appetite, pain and immune system response (3).

The body produces endocannabinoids, which are neurotransmitters that bind to cannabinoid receptors in your nervous system.

Studies have shown that CBD may help reduce chronic pain by impacting endocannabinoid receptor activity, reducing inflammation and interacting with neurotransmitters (4).


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## LezLee

Thank you. 
A woman won a court case last year to have cannabis oil made available for her son who has a very severe form of epilepsy (up tp 100 seizures a day). Since Nov. 2018 medicinal strength has been available on prescription. It seems to have many applications including alleviating nausea and sickness during chemotherapy.


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## Luchesi

LezLee said:


> Thank you.
> A woman won a court case last year to have cannabis oil made available for her son who has a very severe form of epilepsy (up tp 100 seizures a day). Since Nov. 2018 medicinal strength has been available on prescription. It seems to have many applications including alleviating nausea and sickness during chemotherapy.


According to my friends, a small part of the benefit seems to come from the psychological knowledge that you're taking cannabis. It's been taboo for so long in their lives. I probably wouldn't be a musician today without it. But I learned the hard way as a very young person about 'drugs'. As soon as you reach the desired effect you need to immediately cutback and control the natural impulse to take more and more to get to that same level. It's a very difficult thing to do at that point.. Emerson wrote an essay about this in which he estimates that every euphoric condition and exhilaration has its own cost as its counterpart. Metaphorically it gets very complicated, and you start looking for these in other areas of your life.


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## philoctetes

Hence the impulse for tobacco users, alcohol and coffee drinkers, to say when under duress "I need a {pick your poison]". This has been legally acceptable for some time, with the exception of cannabis so there is a bias about it. When that changes we won't be talking about it as if it is so hazardous as if the others are not, and we can begin to shed light on its benefits.

Unfortunately the world has grown too small for a community to embrace painless euphoric states recreationally and commerically (how terrible) without pressure to change from some other community that has its own value problems. Or be taxed. Cannabis is just one more case of that.


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## Luchesi

philoctetes said:


> Hence the impulse for tobacco users, alcohol and coffee drinkers, to say when under duress "I need a {pick your poison]". This has been legally acceptable for some time, with the exception of cannabis so there is a bias about it. When that changes we won't be talking about it as if it is so hazardous as if the others are not, and we can begin to shed light on its benefits.
> 
> Unfortunately the world has grown too small for a community to embrace painless euphoric states recreationally and commerically (how terrible) without pressure to change from some other community that has its own value problems. Or be taxed. Cannabis is just one more case of that.


"When that changes we won't be talking about it as if it is so hazardous as if the others are not…"

On average a human will eat on average 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders while sleeping.
Totally harmless.

For people like me who have relatives with schizophrenia, the known dangers of THC need to be understood. Many people have a little bit of schizophrenia (which is the wrong word for it but it saves space here). Many people have feelings of paranoia and fears that they can't put into words, and those twinges in their conscious approach to a quick change of situations. THC interferes with a part of the brain that regulates these survival responses.

The stronger forms of cannabis have less CBD and more THC.

Why might weaker cannabis be less harmful?
Cannabis plants produce a second important substance called cannabidiol, or CBD. The compound appears to reduce the risk of psychotic disorders, by counteracting the effects of THC. But CBD and THC are made from the same precursor chemical, so maximizing THC reduces CBD levels. This may have important implications. High-THC cannabis, such as skunk, appears to cause more mental health problems than low-THC cannabis, but the reason may be the lack of CBD to balance out the THC. A US study published this month found that as cannabis potency rose from 1995-2014, the ratio of THC to CBD rocketed from 14:1 to 80:1. Englund demonstrated the power of CBD in a striking study in 2014. He gave THC to volunteers and noticed they soon displayed acute psychotic symptoms. But when he gave them CBD too, they were largely protected from THC's effects.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23042808

This young man was vulnerable I guess, and his one intense fearful experience changed his brain's responses to his other thoughts and situations much later. And especially during those years when the brain is maturing - high levels or continuous use of THC can likewise damage things, depending upon what's going on in your life. It's Russian roulette for young people who are heavy users.


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## KenOC

haydnguy said:


> Sorry for all the trivial songs tonight. I took a pretty nasty fall earlier tonight with a head blow against the wall. Will be back to 'Papa Haydn' tomorrow night.
> 
> G'night.


C'mon, let us know all the nasty details!


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## philoctetes

I can report personally on CBDs now... a friend did some research, went to a dispensary in SF, bought a bottle of 4:1 CBD:THC tincture, and I tried some. 

It wasn't a very notable effect like being stoned, but there was a subtle calming sensation that is often attributed to CBD, the calm without the high as they say. It should also be noted that the Farm Bill signed by President Trump in 2018 has opened up legalization for these derivatives, see the details for yourself.

I'm often amazed at the way these substances are isolated as hazardous while doctors and pharmacies routinely dose half the population with anti-depressants, oxycontin, etc. Why do people turn their heads away from that? Yuck.


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## Luchesi

"I'm often amazed at the way these substances are isolated as hazardous while doctors and pharmacies routinely dose half the population with anti-depressants, oxycontin, etc. Why do people turn their heads away from that? Yuck."

I thought the same until I read about vulnerable people using too much THC product and developing a psychosis without any warning signs. And how much is too much when each brain and each set of stressors are slightly different? Oxycontin and lorazepam would be removed if that happened, but I don't know, maybe they can change your brain balances.. When I was young I never thought about it.


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## philoctetes

Ambulance chasers want me now


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## Zofia

having trouble eating oof


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## Art Rock

Slowly recovering from a particularly nasty cold - Friday was the worst, because everything smelled and tasted like disinfecting fluid - the first time I encountered this side effect in my life (61+ years). On the bright side though, the 2-yearly check-up with the cardiologist last week showed no changes.


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## Joe B

I'm sick with a cold, though the body aches have me wondering. I haven't been sick with a cold since 10/17, so I guess I really shouldn't complain..............just seeking sympathy.


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## JosefinaHW

Joe B said:


> I'm sick with a cold, though the body aches have me wondering. I haven't been sick with a cold since 10/17, so I guess I really shouldn't complain..............just seeking sympathy.


Bear Hug and Three Kisses! :kiss:


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## Rogerx

Joe B said:


> I'm sick with a cold, though the body aches have me wondering. I haven't been sick with a cold since 10/17, so I guess I really shouldn't complain..............just seeking sympathy.


One new CD a day. keeping the doctor away.


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## Zofia

Rogerx said:


> One new CD a day. keeping the doctor away.


Does this count as low carb diet?


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## Roger Knox

Zofia said:


> Does this count as low carb diet?
> 
> View attachment 114239


It's how I feel when cutting out my favourite pasta meals.


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## Zofia

I am extremely hot and I feel like I am sweating and embarrassed feeling. I am not physically sweating and I just take my temperature it is normal...

I hope I am not getting the inflammation again T_T


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## StrangeHocusPocus

Zofia said:


> I am extremely hot and I feel like I am sweating and embarrassed feeling. I am not physically sweating and I just take my temperature it is normal...
> 
> I hope I am not getting the inflammation again T_T


Maybe you need to take a Bex and lay down


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## Flamme

I had a veeery hard year, 2019...I felt like I carried a small planet on my shoulders, so much darkness and misery...This year so far is a mixed bag, its hard 2 tell...Anyway what keeps me afloat is classical music...I didnt listen 2 classics for couple of years until it struck me...


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