# Elegy for String Orchestra



## Guest (Nov 1, 2020)

Thanks for any kind of feedback.

[link removed per request of member]


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

There is a lot of dramatic potential in some of the dissonant chords especially at the beginning, but I'd refine the movement of some voices and the residual harmony. Some of the melodies don't feel that complete to me. Seems like a fun piece to do. I'd be interested in hearing an update.


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## Guest (Nov 5, 2020)

Phil loves classical said:


> There is a lot of dramatic potential in some of the dissonant chords especially at the beginning, but I'd refine the movement of some voices and the residual harmony. Some of the melodies don't feel that complete to me. Seems like a fun piece to do. I'd be interested in hearing an update.


Thank you Phil. I appreciate your comments and thoughts. Can you point out to me the time for melodies that feel incomplete? That way I can see what I think. thanks again


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## Phil loves classical (Feb 8, 2017)

At 1:22, it seems both the cellos and violins go down together (maybe contrary motion could work better here), and the cellos sort of disappear into the background or out of the previous range, without really handing the melody to the violins/violas, or completing the melody to me. At 2:33, the momentum in violin melody sort of hits a wall, where it sustains and ends off on another note, it seemed to me it was going somewhere, but was cut short. Then the melody in the violas sort of ends around 3:22, without seeming to resolve to me. Violin (2nd violins?) melody sort of disappears at 4:05. 1st violins sort of ends at 4:43 unresolved.

I think if you clarify the harmony, and its progression, then the melodic lines could be sorted out. Right now there it's kind of ambiguous to me. The dissonance is sort of confusing, and suggests too many possibilities I think. All in all, I think it's quite a challenging piece to do well, as I see it.


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## Guest (Nov 6, 2020)

Phil loves classical said:


> At 1:22, it seems both the cellos and violins go down together (maybe contrary motion could work better here), and the cellos sort of disappear into the background or out of the previous range, without really handing the melody to the violins/violas, or completing the melody to me. At 2:33, the momentum in violin melody sort of hits a wall, where it sustains and ends off on another note, it seemed to me it was going somewhere, but was cut short. Then the melody in the violas sort of ends around 3:22, without seeming to resolve to me. Violin (2nd violins?) melody sort of disappears at 4:05. 1st violins sort of ends at 4:43 unresolved.
> 
> I think if you clarify the harmony, and its progression, then the melodic lines could be sorted out. Right now there it's kind of ambiguous to me. The dissonance is sort of confusing, and suggests too many possibilities I think. All in all, I think it's quite a challenging piece to do well, as I see it.


I really thank you for taking the time to do this. these were mostly deliberate, but I'll look where your thoughts lead me. I'll send you the score from pm.


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