# The worst covers I've ever seen



## Kivimees

Let's mix music and graphic art. A thread inspire by Mahlerian :tiphat:



Mahlerian said:


> I am pretty sure this is among the worst covers I've ever seen:
> View attachment 15424


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## peeyaj




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## Kivimees

I nominate this cover:


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## KenOC

And...THIS!


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese

^ I think that wins the bad prize for any genre....

Love the Holst Planets one - have seen before lol - but there are just so many of them - what have you started here - many can not be uploaded here for fear of immediate extrication but here goes, (note I self censored)............ See if you can pick the trick one!!


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## Kieran

peeyaj said:


>


That's a great cover! You have no soul! :devil:


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## Weston

peeyaj said:


>


I had that album on vinyl! It was my first version of The Planets. I didn't think much about it at the time. We had grown accustomed to dubiously clad women on the Star Trek series, so this was not too outside the norm for the early 70s or whenever. But I can see now the young lady's pose is a little unfortunate as is the green and purple star lettering.


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## Antihero




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## Kieran

Crikey! Must be some swinging sixties Sista! devil:


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## userfume

Anything by naxos... sooo cheap looking


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## OboeKnight

KenOC said:


> And...THIS!


Lol....that hair.


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## ahammel

I was coming here to complain about Angela Hewitt's tendency to mug for the camera, but you know what? Never mind.


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## Mahlerian

Remember EGA graphics, folks?


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## oogabooha

Antihero said:


>


people always mention this one and I always disagree. it's really cool


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## oogabooha

Mahlerian said:


> Remember EGA graphics, folks?


.......jesus


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## userfume

aaaah comic sans


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## Mahlerian

Sometimes, covers are bad because they're aesthetically repellent, like most of the examples above. Sometimes they're bad because the image doesn't match the content...









Anyone have an explanation for that? Anybody?


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## ptr

Mahlerian said:


> Anyone have an explanation for that? Anybody?


A release for the unsuspecting Japanese market?

/ptr


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## Art Rock

Good grief. In a similar manner:

View attachment 15504


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## Kivimees

Mahlerian said:


> Anyone have an explanation for that? Anybody?


A mistake perhaps?


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## Mahlerian

Art Rock said:


> Good grief. In a similar manner:
> 
> View attachment 15504


I haven't laughed that hard at the internet in a long time!


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## Mahlerian

Here's another poor Mahler cover...


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## ptr

This one is not much better.. Levine's Mahler covers are bad throughout!









/ptr


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## aleazk

Art Rock said:


> Good grief. In a similar manner:
> 
> View attachment 15504


lol, what the heck they were thinking?!.

-----------------------------------------


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## userfume

I don't think this expression suits the symphony


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## KenOC

Darned good performance though.


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## julianoq

KenOC said:


> Darned good performance though.


Indeed, this is my favorite performance of the No. 10 atm.


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## RJay

I don't know, to me it's like a rock album cover. The boys in the band. I like it. European Tour '78 or something.












Kivimees said:


> I nominate this cover:
> 
> View attachment 15444


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## deggial

the babe looks like Barbara Windsor... in fact, it could be called Carry On Playing.


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## hindsight

Déjà vu.

http://forums.stevehoffman.tv/threads/the-worst-classical-album-covers-ever.246916/


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## Weston

userfume said:


> Anything by naxos... sooo cheap looking


I disagree somewhat. They're not spectacular but are at least consistently understated, generally use appropriate images and have good marketable recognition on a web page or in a CD shop (if the latter exists any more).


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## samurai

oogabooha said:


> .......jesus


Actually, I think he's more along the lines of economist Milton Friedman. :lol:


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## Kivimees

RJay said:


> I don't know, to me it's like a rock album cover. The boys in the band. I like it. European Tour '78 or something.


Yes, it gives a new meaning to "hair band".


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## EddieRUKiddingVarese

more of questionable taste..................

[video]http://www.magle.dk/music-forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=2876&d=1363914137[/video]


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## Mahlerian

Here's a new one...


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## ahammel

Magical Mystery Mahler?


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## ptr

Don't think this a very becoming cover on a CD with music by a quite entertaining composer!









/ptr


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## Art Rock

I have that one.


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## ptr

Art Rock said:


> I have that one.


The Viola Concerto with Chamber Orchestra Op 108 is especially fine me thinks!, but generally all the music makes up for the cover on this CD---

/ptr


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## Cosmos

Watch out flying busts are coming to ****** ****** up


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## Kleinzeit

We did this a few months ago, but it bears repeating till the end of time:

http://jbw53191.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-faith-tones.html

The saga of the Faith Tones--same-sex marriage, a stay-away-from-me warrant from a moon astronaut, and death by parasitic twin fetus.

And the Shaggs get all the attention.


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## KenOC

Cosmos said:


> View attachment 22566
> 
> 
> Watch out flying busts are coming to ****** ****** up


Why does this remind me of Zardoz?


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## brianvds

Kleinzeit said:


> We did this a few months ago, but it bears repeating till the end of time:
> 
> http://jbw53191.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-faith-tones.html
> 
> The saga of the Faith Tones--same-sex marriage, a stay-away-from-me warrant from a moon astronaut, and death by parasitic twin fetus.
> 
> And the Shaggs get all the attention.


Fascinating stuff. They appear to have actually been rather better musicians than one would expect from the cover.


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## millionrainbows

Ernest Bloch is a much better-looking man than this, as is evidenced by his other covers. This one looks like he's wearing a robe, and forgot to put his teeth in.


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## Whistler Fred

Antihero said:


>


Err...right! Who thought this would be a good marketing idea?


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## hpowders

Whistler Fred said:


> Err...right! Who thought this would be a good marketing idea?


That may be the worst album cover ever!


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## Piwikiwi




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## hpowders

Not too bad.


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## DrKilroy

He forgot the wig.

Best regards, Dr


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## Piwikiwi

DrKilroy said:


> He forgot the wig.
> 
> Best regards, Dr


I think he dyed his hair


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## Haydn man

Whilst the music may have been wonderful I did find the typical late Karajan album covers rather sad
The maestro in a pose such as the above or in some statuesque trance with eyes closed was all a bit pretentious and at times rather ridiculous


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## Sudonim

Haydn man said:


> View attachment 36182
> 
> 
> Whilst the music may have been wonderful I did find the typical late Karajan album covers rather sad
> The maestro in a pose such as the above or in some statuesque trance with eyes closed was all a bit pretentious and at times rather ridiculous


There's no doubt that DG sought to make use of Herbie's character-actor looks, but those covers are better than that group DG issued for a while, showing the maestro in his leisure:


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## DrKilroy

I actually like all the Karajan covers above, especially action-Herbie ones.  

Best regards, Dr


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## Jos

Antihero said:


>


Hey, Rammstein's got a new album !!


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## moody

Haydn man said:


> View attachment 36182
> 
> 
> Whilst the music may have been wonderful I did find the typical late Karajan album covers rather sad
> The maestro in a pose such as the above or in some statuesque trance with eyes closed was all a bit pretentious and at times rather ridiculous


I'd rather look at the covers than listen to him,but he conducted with his eyes shut 90 % of the time.


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## Ukko

moody said:


> I'd rather look at the covers than listen to him,but he conducted with his eyes shut 90 % of the time.


Shutting the eyes invigorates other senses, including hearing. Even if he got turned around and started conducting toward the audience, the Berliners could handle it... eh?


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## spradlig

Cecilia Bartoli is so beautiful, it's a pity what someone did with her.



aleazk said:


> lol, what the heck they were thinking?!.
> 
> -----------------------------------------


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## senza sordino

This makes cringe and laugh
View attachment 36244


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## hpowders

Funny. I post with my eyes shut 90% of the time.


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## Rhythm

^ Ms. Bartoli introduced her Autumn 2012 album, Mission


spradlig said:


> Cecilia Bartoli is so beautiful, it's a pity what someone did with her.


However, Ms. Bartoli would've likely agreed to and authorized that (photoshopped) image of several from which to choose. She has explained the purpose of the cover image as well as the purpose of presenting some music composed by Agostino Steffani, obviously a fascinating character, politically and musically.

From the Telegraph, she is quoted, ..."I wanted to evoke this very interesting figure in the history of music, Agostino Steffani. He was a composer who really had many missions. Most of his life he was a Catholic priest, and he spent many years in northern Germany trying to convert all those people to Catholicism. He was also a diplomat and a royal matchmaker, and he even became the Bishop of Spiga. But he was a fascinating composer too, who was in the transition period between the Renaissance and the baroque eras, and he was a great inspiration to Handel."

R.


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## elgar's ghost

I like Naxos's 'picture panel on white background' style, but this is a real mess, to be honest:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41BGFYBP24L.jpg


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## spradlig

Rhythm:

Thank you for the explanation. Yes, I don't think anyone could get away with putting this image on an album cover without Ms. Bartoli's permission. I was just expressing my initial reaction when I saw this picture (which I had seen before someone posted it on TC). I'm sure many shared my reaction.



Rhythm said:


> ^ Ms. Bartoli introduced her Autumn 2012 album, MissionHowever, Ms. Bartoli would've likely agreed to and authorized that (photoshopped) image of several from which to choose. She has explained the purpose of the cover image as well as the purpose of presenting some music composed by Agostino Steffani, obviously a fascinating character, politically and musically.
> 
> From the Telegraph, she is quoted, ..."I wanted to evoke this very interesting figure in the history of music, Agostino Steffani. He was a composer who really had many missions. Most of his life he was a Catholic priest, and he spent many years in northern Germany trying to convert all those people to Catholicism. He was also a diplomat and a royal matchmaker, and he even became the Bishop of Spiga. But he was a fascinating composer too, who was in the transition period between the Renaissance and the baroque eras, and he was a great inspiration to Handel."
> 
> R.


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## Donata

This isn't creepy at all.


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## KenOC




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## Donata

Maybe not classical, but. . .


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## brianvds

elgars ghost said:


> I like Naxos's 'picture panel on white background' style, but this is a real mess, to be honest:
> 
> http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41BGFYBP24L.jpg


Yup: she doesn't resemble Georges Sand nearly enough.


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## SONNET CLV

peeyaj said:


>


When she starts taking off the seven veils, that's when I exit the opera house. Running.


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## SONNET CLV

KenOC said:


>


You certainly can't fault a couple of great busts.


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## schigolch

I'm leaving on a jet plane....


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## RRod

I'd have to dig through my collection to judge a worst, but here's some off the top:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61OALYUFgEL.jpg
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/512MX5DKC3L.jpg
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/911RVPHxGoL._SL1500_.jpg
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ZhVbGcDcL.jpg


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## Tsaraslondon

KenOC said:


>


Words fail me!!!


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## Tsaraslondon

This one's pretty awful. Great disc though.


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## Bulldog

GregMitchell said:


> View attachment 47378
> 
> 
> This one's pretty awful. Great disc though.


Not so bad - rather tropical, beautiful bird and Thomas never looked so cool.


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## HaydnBearstheClock

Donata said:


> View attachment 47336
> 
> 
> Maybe not classical, but. . .
> View attachment 47337


What's in their pants?


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## HaydnBearstheClock

GregMitchell said:


> View attachment 47378
> 
> 
> This one's pretty awful. Great disc though.


Whoa, that is the definition of kitsch, hehe.


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## HaydnBearstheClock

SONNET CLV said:


> You certainly can't fault a couple of great busts.


What would Beethoven do if his head was alive?


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## Bulldog

HaydnBearstheClock said:


> What would Beethoven do if his head was alive?


He would turn it around.


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## echmain

Bulldog said:


> He would turn it around.


And perhaps do the ol' motorboat. (even though the actual motorboat pre-dates Beethoven, he'd figure it out.)


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## Jeff W

Over in Current Listening, we came to the conclusion that this one was pretty tacky.


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## Vasks

View attachment 47427


I didn't know that the tango was an ancient dance


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## ribonucleic

This fires on all cylinders. It's screamingly ugly in its own right. It cartoonifies the subject matter. _And_ it humiliates one of the greatest dramatic sopranos of all time.

Well done, gentlemen.


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## hpowders

ribonucleic said:


> This fires on all cylinders. It's screamingly ugly in its own right. It cartoonifies the subject matter. _And_ it humiliates one of the greatest dramatic sopranos of all time.
> 
> Well done, gentlemen.


Looks like a couple of "misrepresented" blind dates I've been on. "Hello, I'm a beautiful, happy....."


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## Badinerie

KenOC said:


> And...THIS!


The one on the right...I want her, Now!

Anyhow...Much of Deutsche Grammophon's output could feature on this thread.


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## hpowders

A cover from my Mendelssohn String Quartets performed by the Henschel String Quartet.

What the cover connection is to Mendelssohn, I haven't the slightest idea.


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## SimonNZ

Here's one StLukes drew our attention to on the Solti thread - a live recording he made of Bizet's Carmen in 1973 on the Opera D'Oro label

I'll get an infraction point if I post the cover so here's a link:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/615R7LDWjSL._SL1020_.jpg


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## HaydnBearstheClock

Badinerie said:


> The one on the right...I want her, Now!
> 
> Anyhow...Much of Deutsche Grammophon's output could feature on this thread.


Oh my lord ... you can't be serious this is an actual cover. The girl's hair on the left, whoa - and the title! 'Jesus use me' - man oh man, that doesn't sound right, no offense to religion or anything.


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## HaydnBearstheClock

hpowders said:


> View attachment 49240
> 
> 
> A cover from my Mendelssohn String Quartets performed by the Henschel String Quartet.
> 
> What the cover connection is to Mendelssohn, I haven't the slightest idea.


I think they're playing with the concept of strings - that seems to be a new fashion for classical quartet CDs.


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## Mahlerian

Arte Nova covers often seem kind of odd to me.

Chosen entirely at random:


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## brianvds

Mahlerian said:


> Arte Nova covers often seem kind of odd to me.


Naxos usually use pictures that seem to have little to do with the music, but theirs are often very beautiful.


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## mirepoix

While there's the hint of another limb behind in the form of a silhouette, I always thought this just looks like someone has stuck a mannequin's leg through a curtain.









(Techie note: this photo shot at approx ISO 160000)


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## Andreas

mirepoix said:


> While there's the hint of another limb behind in the form of a silhouette, I always thought this just looks like someone has stuck a mannequin's leg through a curtain.
> 
> View attachment 49274
> 
> 
> (Techie note: this photo shot at approx ISO 160000)


That reminds me of a Lichtenberg quote. It goes something like this: Her skirts looked like theatre curtains. I would have given much for a front row seat, but there was no show.


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## hpowders

HaydnBearstheClock said:


> I think they're playing with the concept of strings - that seems to be a new fashion for classical quartet CDs.


Yeah. Like a sci-fi movie: "Invasion of the Body-Snatching Strings." :lol:


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## thetrout

KenOC said:


>


That is hilarious. Who ever designed that cover is a genius.


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## Andreas

thetrout said:


> That is hilarious. Who ever designed that cover is a genius.


It's easy to see the obvious, deeply philosophical message implied here: Beethoven's music is as nurturing as the milk from a mother's breast. He fulfills a need that is inherently human, even almost universal. The strength that he gives makes us grow. Music is indeed the Food of Love, and what could be more music than Beethoven, and what could be more Food of Love than mother's milk? Remember the line from the Ninth? Freude trinken alle Wesen an den Brüsten der Natur - All creatures drink joy from nature's breasts.


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## HaydnBearstheClock

mirepoix said:


> While there's the hint of another limb behind in the form of a silhouette, I always thought this just looks like someone has stuck a mannequin's leg through a curtain.
> 
> View attachment 49274
> 
> 
> (Techie note: this photo shot at approx ISO 160000)


That looks like a stereotypical Bolero cover.


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## Pip

ribonucleic said:


> This fires on all cylinders. It's screamingly ugly in its own right. It cartoonifies the subject matter. _And_ it humiliates one of the greatest dramatic sopranos of all time.
> 
> Well done, gentlemen.


One should not totally vilify the designer of the cover, Miss Nilsson had veto rights on all of her photographic images.
She obviously thought that it was OK at that time.


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## Morimur

Andreas said:


> It's easy to see the obvious, deeply philosophical message implied here: Beethoven's music is as nurturing as the milk from a mother's breast. He fulfills a need that is inherently human, even almost universal. The strength that he gives makes us grow. Music is indeed the Food of Love, and what could be more music than Beethoven, and what could be more Food of Love than mother's milk? Remember the line from the Ninth? Freude trinken alle Wesen an den Brüsten der Natur - All creatures drink joy from nature's breasts.


I am sure that's what the art director had in mind. You should be in Sales, Andreas.


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## Morimur

ribonucleic said:


> This fires on all cylinders. It's screamingly ugly in its own right. It cartoonifies the subject matter. _And_ it humiliates one of the greatest dramatic sopranos of all time.
> 
> Well done, gentlemen.


Grotesquely satirical. I think it was done on purpose; I rather like it -- divisive, to be sure.


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## Polyphemus

thetrout said:


> That is hilarious. Who ever designed that cover is a genius.


Ludwig looks ticked off hes facing the wrong way.


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## Polyphemus

Typical Lenny.


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## brianvds

mirepoix said:


> While there's the hint of another limb behind in the form of a silhouette, I always thought this just looks like someone has stuck a mannequin's leg through a curtain.
> 
> View attachment 49274
> 
> 
> (Techie note: this photo shot at approx ISO 160000)


They spelled the composer's name wrong. It should be Luszt, not Liszt.


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## Silkenblack

Salome: 

"I'm ready for my closeup."


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## echmain

What is this cover telling me to go do to myself?


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## stevens

What about this?


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## stevens

Or..that one:


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## Badinerie

Nah.....thats gorgeous Kitsch! 

As far as the Beethoven or bust cover is concerned...Im just wondering who's covering up further down....


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## stevens

This one is nice


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## stevens

Here is the winner?


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## stevens

I love this one:


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## stevens

The 50 Greatest pieces of classical music?? Im not sure after Ive seen this cover:


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## echmain

stevens said:


> Or..that one:
> 
> View attachment 49297


I can *almost* see Uranus.


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## Chronochromie

Hmmm.....


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## thetrout

stevens said:


> This one is nice
> 
> View attachment 49301


Because an full English fry up is _exactly_ what I think of when I think of Brahms!


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## GreenMamba

I didn't go through the full thread to see if this was posted already, but this cover didn't age well:


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## Guest

There are some really ugly lp covers,this is one of them.


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## GreenMamba

Two others:

The first is from a series. I actually don't mind some of the colorful montages, but this is a bit silly.









This is a well known recording. I think the high contrast spokes are a mistake. My eyes never settle.


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## Morimur

In Indian culture, Indian Classical Music is Holy and therefore respected. In the West, we sell Bach as 'BBQ' music. How sad.


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## omega

Der Leiermann said:


> View attachment 49306
> 
> Hmmm.....


The TRIO Collection has always been an unfathomable mystery to me... They are not ugly, but not always relevant.







OK, Hindemith's music could be compared to little gems






?!






I'm a Brahms [hazel]nut






??!!






Feed your canary with Nielsen. He'll appreciate


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## omega

And this one could end in the _Classical-Jokes_-Thread.


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## Morimur

omega said:


> And this one could end in the _Classical-Jokes_-Thread.
> View attachment 49322


Rebel without a clue.


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## HaydnBearstheClock

Badinerie said:


> Nah.....thats gorgeous Kitsch!
> 
> As far as the Beethoven or bust cover is concerned...Im just wondering who's covering up further down....


Mozart.

(15 chars)


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## GreenMamba

Lope de Aguirre said:


> In Indian culture, Indian Classical Music is Holy and therefore respected. In the West, we sell Bach as 'BBQ' music. How sad.


What bugs me is that BBQ is taken to mean burgers and dogs on the grill. If it were real, slow-cooked barbecue, I'd take it over holiness any day. And I'm not even from the Southern US.


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## Guest

Lope de Aguirre said:


> Rebel without a clue.


very funny.:lol:


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## echmain

I sure hope that's his scalp.


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## Andreas

echmain said:


> View attachment 49381
> 
> 
> I sure hope that's his scalp.


Looks like someone covering their ears, pretending to be ... deaf?


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## HaydnBearstheClock

echmain said:


> View attachment 49381
> 
> 
> I sure hope that's his scalp.


I also do. However, the choice of the 'Pastoral' symphony evokes the primal days of the Garden of Eden and I'm quite worried that this is not really his scalp.


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## Perotin

> The TRIO Collection has always been an unfathomable mystery to me... They are not ugly, but not always relevant.


Don't you get it? Trio collection, you know, three different items of the same kind on every cover.


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## joen_cph

(Dvorak/Chalabala, Eroica/Scherchen, Schumann Etudes/Kerer) - they are actually great records, but ...


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## Bulldog

Lope de Aguirre said:


> In Indian culture, Indian Classical Music is Holy and therefore respected. In the West, we sell Bach as 'BBQ' music. How sad.


Not sad at all. Nothing goes better with BBQ than a little Bach music.


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## hpowders

Whoever goes to a BBQ and Bach is *NOT* played, *give me their names!!!*


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## SimonNZ

GreenMamba said:


> View attachment 49317


More my speed:










(actually that one is a lot of fun: alternating pairs of tracks by Jacques louisser and The Swingle Singers)


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## thetrout

I actually find this cover very apt - Schubert in archetypical 'Romantic' guise' - but it is not the greatest drawing ever.


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## joen_cph

Maybe it was inspired by this one?


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## Donata




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## TurnaboutVox

This could'a' been a contender...


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## echmain

Now turn your head and cough.


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## ribonucleic

This is a terrible cover because it's impossible to think about Mozart when I look at it. :devil:


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## hpowders

ribonucleic said:


> This is a terrible cover because it's impossible to think about Mozart when I look at it. :devil:


Yeah. I hate those covers that exploit female musical artists as sex objects. This is typical. But I have to blame the artists too.
Ms. Mutter simply could have said NEIN!!!


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## Chris

I was randomly looking for Miaskovsky CDs and this came up.


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## joen_cph

^^^^

I´m not sure it´s really that bad; I believe it´s an example from experimental Russian/Soviet photography of Myaskovky´s days, which at times could be very innovative, especially until Stalin took over.


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## hpowders

echmain said:


> View attachment 49513
> 
> 
> Now turn your head and cough.


There is absolutely no point to this cover.


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## JACE

GreenMamba said:


> I didn't go through the full thread to see if this was posted already, but this cover didn't age well:
> 
> View attachment 49309


I saw this LP in a record store recently. It made me laugh out loud. 

Utterly cheesy and wonderful.


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## elgar's ghost

JACE said:


> I saw this LP in a record store recently. It made me laugh out loud.
> 
> Utterly cheesy and wonderful.


And there's me thinking that one of Zager & Evans had a beard...


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## KenOC

What is it they say about Frenchmen?


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## Musicforawhile

I imagine Andreas was too polite to complain about the cheesiness of these album covers and just went along with it.


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## echmain

Chris said:


> I was randomly looking for Miaskovsky CDs and this came up.
> 
> View attachment 53895


Bottom's up!!!!


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## hpowders

echmain said:


> Bottom's up!!!!


They just keep out-dumbing themselves with these covers! Just when you think you've reached bottom....


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## Chronochromie

Saw this one on another thread and had to put it here.


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## JACE

hpowders said:


> They just keep out-dumbing themselves with these covers! Just when you think you've reached bottom....


He, he, he. You made me _laugh_ and _groan_ at the same time!


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## hpowders

Der Leiermann said:


> View attachment 53911
> 
> 
> Saw this one on another thread and had to put it here.


He's simply feeeeelin' the Musak!!


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## Woodduck

Chris said:


> I was randomly looking for Miaskovsky CDs and this came up.
> 
> View attachment 53895


Arte Nova chooses cover images that have absolutely nothing to do with the music. This wise strategy ensures that our impressions of the composer and his work will be uncontaminated by associations with either the musicians' appearance or the conceptions of a graphic artist.

BTW, didn't I read somewhere that Miaskovsky's best ideas came to him in yoga class?


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## stevens

What about this?


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## KenOC

stevens said:


> What about this?
> 
> View attachment 53929


Oooh, dat's bad. REALLY bad! For the tykes out there, the title is a play on the ancient cartoon strip "The Katzenjammer Kids."


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## Headphone Hermit

^^^ and 'jammers' is short for pyjamas - hence why he is in his PJs


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## hpowders

So annoyed with the trend of posing attractive young female soloists in sexually suggestive poses as CD covers.

On the other hand, I have bought as many of these albums as I could find.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> So annoyed with the trend of posing attractive young female soloists in sexually suggestive poses as CD covers.
> 
> On the other hand, I have bought as many of these albums as I could find.


But can they play (the music)


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> But can they play (the music)


Yes they can! My favorite at the moment is Midori Seiler who tears up the baroque violin in Bach's Unaccompanied Partitas. Dazzling!!!


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> View attachment 53958
> 
> 
> Yes they can! My favorite at the moment is Midori Seiler who tears up the baroque violin in Bach's Unaccompanied Partitas. Dazzling!!!


She certainly is.


----------



## Polyphemus

The Partitas are excellent too.


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> The Partitas are excellent too.


Sorry.... I didn't notice.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

hpowders said:


> So annoyed with the trend of posing attractive young female soloists in sexually suggestive poses as CD covers.
> 
> On the other hand, I have bought as many of these albums as I could find.


Tut, tut - they're young enough to be your grand-daughter - Shakes head disapprovingly!


----------



## Polyphemus

Cant beat this though.


----------



## Polyphemus

Headphone Hermit said:


> Tut, tut - they're young enough to be your grand-daughter - Shakes head disapprovingly!


the day you stop looking close the lid LOL.


----------



## hpowders

Headphone Hermit said:


> Tut, tut - they're young enough to be your grand-daughter - Shakes head disapprovingly!


Age is all relative. Tony Randall married a gal around 50 years younger than he.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Age is all relative. Tony Randall married a gal around 50 years younger than he.


He needed help to carry his wallet.


----------



## hpowders

Polyphemus said:


> He needed help to carry his wallet.


Yeah. At least she didn't have long to wait. My problem with that arrangement is they quickly had a child and he wasn't going to be around much longer to be a father.


----------



## Musicforawhile

hpowders said:


> Yeah. I hate those covers that exploit female musical artists as sex objects. This is typical. But I have to blame the artists too.
> Ms. Mutter simply could have said NEIN!!!


But is it really that sexually suggestive? Would it have been better if it was taken from the front? She can't help it that she's a beautiful woman with curves. If she was unattractive or not womanly then I bet no one would be saying there was anything sexual about the pose, or if it were a man in the same pose.


----------



## Headphone Hermit

Polyphemus said:


> the day you stop looking close the lid LOL.


The lid IS firmly closed when it comes to my students .... their mothers might be a different thing, though! :lol:


----------



## Polyphemus

Headphone Hermit said:


> The lid IS firmly closed when it comes to my students .... their mothers might be a different thing, though! :lol:


Touche mon ami.


----------



## Polyphemus

hpowders said:


> Yeah. At least she didn't have long to wait. My problem with that arrangement is they quickly had a child and he wasn't going to be around much longer to be a father.


I could be ungentlemanlike or even downright scurrilous and wonder if other members of the Randal clan looked for DNA testing.


----------



## Varick

hpowders said:


> View attachment 49240
> 
> 
> A cover from my Mendelssohn String Quartets performed by the Henschel String Quartet.
> 
> What the cover connection is to Mendelssohn, I haven't the slightest idea.


It's been long established that Mendelssohn hated Venetian blinds and tried to destroy them everywhere he went. Jeez, don't you know ANYTHING about classical music?



hpowders said:


> Yeah. At least she didn't have long to wait. My problem with that arrangement is they quickly had a child and he wasn't going to be around much longer to be a father.


Yes, but was HE the father? I don't think women were exactly his muse.

V


----------



## hpowders

I just remember the huge age difference.


----------



## hpowders

Varick said:


> It's been long established that Mendelssohn hated Venetian blinds and tried to destroy them everywhere he went. Jeez, don't you know ANYTHING about classical music?
> 
> Yes, but was HE the father? I don't think women were exactly his muse.
> 
> V


I catch your drift. I'm not sure. Could have been artificial insemination.


----------



## Polyphemus

I hate it when people start (stop) screwing round with tradition.


----------



## Varick

This is one of my favorites:









Now accompanied by an absolutely hysterical review, by one of the funniest reviewers in Amazon History:

By Bernard Michael O'Hanlon on May 30, 2012
Format: Audio CD

Reader, only a madman would conflate the three versions of Bruckner's Third Symphony into the one performing edition and then reverse the order of the middle movements "to make it sound more like the Eighth."

Only a madman would haul his orchestra to mountaintops ("Can someone pass a pickaxe to the cellist!") to play Bruckner.

Only a madman would ubiquitously include the word `Reloaded' in title of his Bruckner recordings

Only a madman would revel in the travesty of a design that is featured on the cover above.

Only a madman would walk around with such a colour-scheme to his hair.

Only a madman would "open himself to the cosmos" and thereby seek to finish the last movement of the Bruckner Ninth where the end-product is flimsily based on the sketches.

Dostoyevsky is fond of madmen. Such as I am, so am I - "Oh, blessed rage for order, Pale Ramon!" If Peter Jan Marthé can "conceive a more fiery universe" why would anyone want to refute such gnosis? Come the Last Judgement, PJM should be much less fearful than a board-member of Goldman Sachs. The fact that he has "loved much" and probably too much will save his bony backside from hellfire.

What of his infamous "Bruckner IX Reloaded"? Is it a success or the "Abomination of Desolation"?

In all honesty, one does not purchase this disc for the first three movements, as good as they are (PJM was a student of Celibidache's and the apple did not fall from the tree; if you like slow, soulful Bruckner Ninths, there is much to like here). The imperative is the finale: yes indeed, PJM rushes in where scholars fear to tread.

Above all, PJM pays but lip service to the finale as we know it. He is a "free-range magpie". If you are conversant with the various SMPC versions, leave your reservations at the door and grab a drink. Nor is PJM a fan of light orchestration: he likes to haul in the howitzers at the slightest provocation.

1'33" there is an additional trumpet refrain that would do the Schalk brothers proud.

The first appearance of the famous chorale at 9'20" is a "gaudy monstrosity" by virtue of the overblown orchestration. Much the same could be said of its reiteration at 21'57". The chorale is a stupendous creation and reason in itself to listen to the finale in general. In the SMPC editions (such as used by the likes of Wildner), it appears some three times. PJM is clearly enamoured by it. As I count it, it features at least four times if not more.

PJM "oompa-loompa-izes" the motif from the Te Deum at 11'06". This is a disgrace.

Robert Simpson, who maintained that the finale could not be completed (based on the material that was extant in his time), nevertheless conceded that the gigantic fugue is a success: it builds and sustains momentum. PJM carves it up thereby destroying its logic.

PJM was surely listening to the soundtrack of Jaws when he wrote 13'16"ff.

24'52" - 28'35" - not bad at all. PJM picks up a motif from the sketches (late in the piece) and plays it for all it is worth and then some more. It may be faux-Bruckner rather than echt-Bruckner but it is damned listenable. I enjoyed it.

28'35" to the conclusion is thin gruel. PJM's "dialogue with the cosmos" must have occurred before the discovery of the 24 bars from the coda: he makes no reference to them whatsoever.

"To the pure, all things are pure." Maybe, as St Paul muses. Other reviewers have flagellated PJM for his alleged egotism wherein he places himself above both the composer and the norms of scholarly rectitude. I disagree. Demonstrably, PJM marches to the beat of a different drum whose source may originate from parsecs away. I don't know how often I will return to this disc but it is enthralling in its own way.

What the hell - long live PJM!


----------



## brianvds

Bruckner himself would in any event have written ten different versions...


----------



## Donata

I actually kind of like this one.


----------



## SONNET CLV

Mahlerian said:


> Sometimes, covers are bad because they're aesthetically repellent, like most of the examples above. Sometimes they're bad because the image doesn't match the content...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Anyone have an explanation for that? Anybody?


What's the problem here?
The image is most certainly a profile of Gustav himself.
Heck ... take your own Avatar pic and turn it so we have a left-face profile.








Walah! The cover pic!


----------



## hpowders

thetrout said:


> That is hilarious. Who ever designed that cover is a genius.


Woman with two busts. Normal, no?


----------



## hpowders

Mahlerian said:


> Sometimes, covers are bad because they're aesthetically repellent, like most of the examples above. Sometimes they're bad because the image doesn't match the content...
> 
> View attachment 15503
> 
> 
> Anyone have an explanation for that? Anybody?


I believe they mixed up the covers. This one should have been on The Mikado.


----------



## Donata

Creepy.


----------



## hpowders

It's not his fault he looks like that. How would you like someone calling a photo of your face "creepy"?


----------



## ComposerOfAvantGarde

hpowders said:


> Yeah. I hate those covers that exploit female musical artists as sex objects. This is typical. But I have to blame the artists too.
> Ms. Mutter simply could have said NEIN!!!




















I just don't understand the point of these.


----------



## hpowders

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I just don't understand the point of these.


The point is to get sentimental fools like me to buy these albums.

Female music critics will usually scold the company for this irrelevant sexual display.

As for me, I doth protest all too weakly.


----------



## SimonNZ

^ How old is the girl in that second one? That's seriously dodgy.


----------



## Bulldog

SimonNZ said:


> ^ How old is the girl in that second one? That's seriously dodgy.


I thought the same thing when I first saw it a few years ago. As it turns out, she was at least 18 at the time. Yet, it sure has a "child porn" element.


----------



## SONNET CLV

Lara St. John was born 1971. The Bach album was released in 1996. Thus, if the photo was taken contemporaneously with the production of the album, St. John was 25 years of age.

Of course Wikipedia has some mention of this artist and her Bach cover under the "Lara St. John" entry:

Controversy[edit]

St. John received attention for her somewhat controversial photo on the cover of her debut album, "Bach Works for Violin Solo" (1996).[4] The cover features St. John holding a violin across her chest while appearing otherwise unclothed. The rationale for this cover was that unaccompanied Bach exposed the artist completely, and the cover art was designed to evoke this sentiment. The album sold 25,000 copies, a very high number by the standards of the classical music industry.[5]


----------



## hpowders

No one's forcing anyone to buy the albums.

Plenty of male violinists out there to choose from.

Have fun gazing into the eyes of Nathan Milstein.


----------



## KenOC

SONNET CLV said:


> Lara St. John was born 1971. The Bach album was released in 1996. Thus, if the photo was taken contemporaneously with the production of the album, St. John was 25 years of age.


Nonetheless, she looks like jailbait in a Calvin Klein ad.


----------



## Woodduck

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I just don't understand the point of these.


This is a cynical attempt to slip child pornography under the radar. The girl's actual age doesn't matter. How many people had to approve this cover before it could be released? Can you imagine how J.S would react to this? How many German swear words do you know?

I had never heard of Lara St. John. I'll now make a point of never hearing her play.


----------



## sprigofflowers

Those guys look like heroes, if not gods. Or wwf wrestlers… either way you don't want to bump into them and knock their books over by mistake. Ouch!


----------



## hpowders

Woodduck said:


> This is a cynical attempt to slip child pornography under the radar. The girl's actual age doesn't matter. How many people had to approve this cover before it could be released? Can you imagine how J.S would react to this? How many German swear words do you know?
> 
> I had never heard of Lara St. John. I'll now make a point of never hearing her play.


Okay. Send me those albums you don't need. She happens to be terrific.


----------



## Woodduck

hpowders said:


> No one's forcing anyone to buy the albums.
> 
> Plenty of male violinists out there to choose from.
> 
> Have fun gazing into the eyes of Nathan Milstein.


I'd gladly gaze into the eyes of Nathan Milstein. They'd have something behind them besides dollar signs.


----------



## brianvds

SimonNZ said:


> ^ How old is the girl in that second one? That's seriously dodgy.


You ain't seen nothing yet...










When she was in her teens, she was quite blatantly marketed as sex object. Probably didn't hurt sales.


----------



## hpowders

Woodduck said:


> I'd gladly gaze into the eyes of Nathan Milstein. They'd have something behind them besides dollar signs.


To each his own. Who buys music for the covers anyway....besides me.
When I see Bach on the cover, I buy.


----------



## SONNET CLV

brianvds said:


> You ain't seen nothing yet...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When she was in her teens, she was quite blatantly marketed as sex object. Probably didn't hurt sales.


Couldn't she at least have held her violin bow across her chest? At least we know what instrument Lara St. John plays.


----------



## hpowders

SONNET CLV said:


> Couldn't she at least have held her violin bow across her chest? At least we know what instrument Lara St. John plays.


It's the latest way to market attractive female artists. They could always say "no!"


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> You ain't seen nothing yet...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When she was in her teens, she was quite blatantly marketed as sex object. Probably didn't hurt sales.


That was the idea. I have no sympathy. She or her parents could have said "no!"


----------



## ptr

brianvds said:


> You ain't seen nothing yet...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When she was in her teens, she was quite blatantly marketed as sex object. Probably didn't hurt sales.


This picture is over clad! Generally I think that There is way to little nudity in Classical music!
Our society would be a much better one if the "moral majority" wasn't so uptight about the birth suite all us humans are born with!

/ptr


----------



## scratchgolf

^^^ I, for one, was born with NOTHING like that. Be glad I'm not a musician. The world is a better place for it.


----------



## csacks

Just to add another ugly cover to the list.
Who is able to think about choosing this image for a CD. It is really frightening!!!


----------



## EdwardBast

SONNET CLV said:


> Couldn't she at least have held her violin bow across her chest? At least we know what instrument Lara St. John plays.


My only question is: Why is she wearing her brother's underpants?


----------



## scratchgolf

EdwardBast said:


> My only question is: Why is she wearing her brother's underpants?


And, why is she wearing her brother's torso?


----------



## Manxfeeder

The Sound and the Fury have some pretty bad covers. I think they're trying to be artsy.


----------



## Donata

hpowders said:


> It's not his fault he looks like that. How would you like someone calling a photo of your face "creepy"?


I didn't mean his face, just the way the cover is arranged. It looks like a poster for a horror movie.


----------



## hpowders

csacks said:


> Just to add another ugly cover to the list.
> Who is able to think about choosing this image for a CD. It is really frightening!!!
> View attachment 56794


Typical hpowders blind date. "Happy, well-adjusted....."

Well, what was she supposed to write? "I am your worst nightmare!!" ??


----------



## hpowders

Donata said:


> I didn't mean his face, just the way the cover is arranged. It looks like a poster for a horror movie.


Okay. I see. Leave the light on!


----------



## trazom

brianvds said:


> You ain't seen nothing yet...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When she was in her teens, she was quite blatantly marketed as sex object. Probably didn't hurt sales.


^That's what happens when you don't have the skill to make it as a classical musician, but want to recognized as one anyways, at least by the general public. She's like the Katherine Jenkins of violin playing.


----------



## hpowders

So using that logic, Anne-Sophie Mutter must be really talentless with all those sexpot album covers she posed for. PLEASE!!

I seem to be smelling the odor of censorship. You don't like the cover, don't buy the CD.
If I want to, that's my right and my business.


----------



## KenOC

Can't believe that nobody's mentioned that no-talent Yuja Wang.


----------



## Itullian

KenOC said:


> Can't believe that nobody's mentioned that no-talent Yuja Wang.


On KUSC tonight


----------



## trazom

hpowders said:


> So using that logic, Anne-Sophie Mutter must be really talentless with all those sexpot album covers she posed for. PLEASE!!
> 
> I feel like I'm back in the pilgrim days!!


Except Mutter's playing still sells albums no matter what she looks like, even if she's not on the cover because people like her playing. Mae does not have an ounce of Mutter's talent and her appeal is only her image.

http://www.sfgate.com/music/article/Violinist-Without-A-Cause-Vanessa-Mae-s-flash-2957531.php



hpowders said:


> I seem to be smelling the odor of censorship. You don't like the cover, don't buy the CD.
> If I want to, that's my right and my business.


I'm not really into censorship, let alone when it comes to anyone else's wank material, I just don't like her playing that was my original point: That she's not good and only gets noticed because of her looks. You admitted to buying albums just for the cover, didn't you? so just admit the only reason you think Mae's 'good' or the only reason you listened to her in the first place is her looks, that's all. I bet if she was ugly or a man you wouldn't have given her 'music' a single listen in the first place and wouldn't be so compelled to defend her. That's how she gets most of her fans and that's fine, but her playing still sucks.


----------



## Albert7

KenOC said:


>


I think that I got one better than this... plus it has VW advertising!


----------



## Itullian

hpowders said:


> So using that logic, Anne-Sophie Mutter must be really talentless with all those sexpot album covers she posed for. PLEASE!!
> 
> I feel like I'm back in the pilgrim days!!


it didn't hurt


----------



## hpowders

Manxfeeder said:


> The Sound and the Fury have some pretty bad covers. I think they're trying to be artsy.
> 
> View attachment 56800


Looks like just another bad case of lockjaw. When will they find a cure for this dreadful, disfiguring illness?


----------



## hpowders

albertfallickwang said:


> I think that I got one better than this... plus it has VW advertising!
> 
> View attachment 56802
> [/
> 
> I have a VW by the way. I'm putting it on Craig's List tomorrow morning.


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> Can't believe that nobody's mentioned that no-talent Yuja Wang.


Yu ja st did!!


----------



## Cosmos

Have I brought fourth this nightmare yet?


----------



## KenOC

OK, OK, time to trot out (once again) possibly the most hideous album cover of all time. Wait for it... wait for it...


----------



## hpowders

Cosmos said:


> Have I brought fourth this nightmare yet?


But, But, that's the innocent child who is describing his/her vision of heaven!


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> OK, OK, time to trot out (once again) possibly the most hideous album cover of all time. Wait for it... wait for it...


Looks like my three blind dates from 1977. And that was a good year!


----------



## DiesIraeCX

Cosmos said:


> Have I brought fourth this nightmare yet?


I liked your post for the pun! Haha, I actually think the art is kind of striking, with a tinge of creepiness. lol


----------



## SeptimalTritone

hpowders said:


> But, But, that's the innocent child who is describing his/her vision of heaven!


...
......
.........

:kiss:

...
......
.........

I'm telling on you


----------



## hpowders

SeptimalTritone said:


> ...
> ......
> .........
> 
> :kiss:
> 
> ...
> ......
> .........
> 
> I'm telling on you


Nobody reads my posts anyway.


----------



## KenOC

hpowders said:


> Nobody reads my posts anyway.


I not only read them, I've compiled them into a book, due out soon. I assumed you'd be happy enough with the psychic income and haven't included you in the royalties...


----------



## hpowders

KenOC said:


> I not only read them, I've compiled them into a book, due out soon. I assumed you'd be happy enough with the psychic income and not included you in the royalties...


Yeah. If only I could be getting paid for this. I need to make Jerry Seinfeld my financial advisor.


----------



## brianvds

hpowders said:


> That was the idea. I have no sympathy. She or her parents could have said "no!"


She did, eventually. Her parents didn't - apparently her mother pressured her mercilessly. From what I hear, she had now broken off all contact with her mother.



hpowders said:


> Looks like my three blind dates from 1977. And that was a good year!


No doubt, you half wished you WERE blind. Becoming a priest would not have helped here either - considering that Jesus was too busy to use them (as per the album title), a priest would have made a suitable substitute.


----------



## Woodduck

KenOC said:


> I not only read them, I've compiled them into a book, due out soon. I assumed you'd be happy enough with the psychic income and not included you in the royalties...


Please use recycled paper. The atmosphere contains more than enough CO2 already.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

Woodduck said:


> Please use recycled paper. The atmosphere contains more than enough CO2 already.


CO2?-- the life-giving gas that plants use to produce oxygen with?


----------



## Albert7

hpowders said:


> Looks like my three blind dates from 1977. And that was a good year!


Wow, the beehive hairstyle threw me off for a loop!


----------



## brianvds

Marschallin Blair said:


> CO2?-- the life-giving gas that plants use to produce oxygen with?


Know-it-all pedant alert! Plants don't actually use CO2 to produce oxygen...


----------



## KenOC

brianvds said:


> Know-it-all pedant alert! Plants don't actually use CO2 to produce oxygen...


Double alert! From Wiki:

"Carbon fixation is a biochemical process by which atmospheric carbon dioxide is incorporated by plants, algae and (cyanobacteria) into energy-rich organic molecules such as glucose, thus creating their own food by photosynthesis. Photosynthesis uses carbon dioxide and water to produce sugars from which other organic compounds can be constructed, and oxygen is produced as a by-product."

Now I'm confused.


----------



## Marschallin Blair

brianvds said:


> Know-it-all pedant alert! Plants don't actually use CO2 to produce oxygen...


I swear on my Gould! _;D_

6 CO2(g) + 6 H2O(l) + photons → C6H12O6(aq) + 6 O2(g)
carbon dioxide + water + light energy → glucose + oxygen


----------



## Marschallin Blair

KenOC said:


> Double alert! From Wiki:
> 
> "Carbon fixation is a biochemical process by which atmospheric carbon dioxide is incorporated by plants, algae and (cyanobacteria) into energy-rich organic molecules such as glucose, thus creating their own food by photosynthesis. Photosynthesis uses carbon dioxide and water to produce sugars from which other organic compounds can be constructed, and oxygen is produced as a by-product."
> 
> Now I'm confused.


. . . no further questions, Your Honor.

_;D_


----------



## brianvds

Marschallin Blair said:


> I swear on my Gould! _;D_
> 
> 6 CO2(g) + 6 H2O(l) + photons → C6H12O6(aq) + 6 O2(g)
> carbon dioxide + water + light energy → glucose + oxygen


Very true: oxygen is a by-product. But the oxygen does not come from CO2 molecules. Photosynthesis splits water molecules into H and O2, then releases the O2 and incorporates the H into the CO2 to create sugars.

Told you I'm a pedant.


----------



## scratchgolf

Wait! So what about those pictures in my 4th grade science book that have an arrow pointing from a human to a plant, labeled CO2, and then another arrow pointing from the plant to the human, labeled O2? Are you telling me it's more complicated than that? Are you telling me I can't breathe on a potted cactus when I'm short of breath? I thought it was soup can/telephone technology.


----------



## hpowders

brianvds said:


> Very true: oxygen is a by-product. But the oxygen does not come from CO2 molecules. Photosynthesis splits water molecules into H and O2, then releases the O2 and incorporates the H into the CO2 to create sugars.
> 
> Told you I'm a pedant.


H2, not H.


----------



## Jos

Perhaps our chemistry wizards can cook up something to make this Italo disco more bearable.....


----------



## millionrainbows

Jos said:


> Perhaps our chemistry wizards can cook up something to make this Italo disco more bearable.....


Those look like Steve Vai albums!

Here is a "worst" cover, because I was shocked at the way he has aged...








Sorry, Phil...this is exactly why I avoid mirrors and having my photograph taken...


----------



## Loge

KenOC said:


> OK, OK, time to trot out (once again) possibly the most hideous album cover of all time. Wait for it... wait for it...


Here is the true story behind the Faith Tones.


----------



## mirepoix

Jos said:


> Perhaps our chemistry wizards can cook up something to make this Italo disco more bearable.....


Well, it's certainly something.


----------



## brianvds

scratchgolf said:


> Wait! So what about those pictures in my 4th grade science book that have an arrow pointing from a human to a plant, labeled CO2, and then another arrow pointing from the plant to the human, labeled O2? Are you telling me it's more complicated than that? Are you telling me I can't breathe on a potted cactus when I'm short of breath? I thought it was soup can/telephone technology.


It is indeed more complicated than the 4th grade teachers and books would have you believe. Being a school teacher myself, I have learned to be very skeptical of school textbooks. 



hpowders said:


> H2, not H.


Now see? I have met my match in pedantry! 

As an interesting aside, from what I read the word "carbohydrate" was coined before photosynthesis was fully understood. At the time it was assumed that the process splits the CO2 molecules into C and O2 and then add add H2 to the C - i.e. creating a "hydrated carbon." The science moved on, but the term stuck.

Either way, eat enough of the stuff and you end up with lipids around your waist line.


----------



## brianvds

millionrainbows said:


> Those look like Steve Vai albums!
> 
> Here is a "worst" cover, because I was shocked at the way he has aged...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry, Phil...this is exactly why I avoid mirrors and having my photograph taken...


He looks like he is listening to the recording of his work himself, and suddenly thinking "jeez, it just repeats the same stuff over and over..."


----------



## Varick

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I just don't understand the point of these.





SONNET CLV said:


> *The album sold 25,000 copies, a very high number by the standards of the classical music industry.*


There's the point

V


----------



## hpowders

Nothing wrong with it. Ya got it, flaunt it!! Worked for years for Anne-Sophie Mutter.

Where was all the outrage on TC regarding all of her many sexually suggestive album covers?


----------



## Badinerie

Ann Sophie Mutter never looked like anything else but a Woman. 
In the Vanessa Mae cover and especially the second Lara St John, they look like underage girls. Very 'creepy' if you ask me.
Im no Prude believe me, but the Vanessa Mae especially makes me feel sick!


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## Tsaraslondon

Badinerie said:


> Ann Sophie Mutter never looked like anything else but a Woman.
> In the Vanessa Mae cover and especially the second Lara St John, they look like underage girls. Very 'creepy' if you ask me.
> Im no Prude believe me, but the Vanessa Mae especially makes me feel sick!


And Anne-Sophie always exuded class. I have loads of her albums and I don't think any of them are sexually suggestive in the manner of the Lara St John covers above. On most of her album covers she is wearing a strapless evening gown, usually one that she would actually wear on the concert stage. If there is anything sexually suggestive about them it is because she is a very attractive woman. There is nothing of the exploitative in them.




























A world of difference.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

^^^^^^^her elbow looks like it is sticking out a little too much in the last one.


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## Tsaraslondon

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> ^^^^^^^her elbow looks like it is sticking out a little too much in the last one.


Too much for what? I imagine the photographer asked her to lift her elbow slightly as it made a better shape.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

GregMitchell said:


> Too much for what? I imagine the photographer asked her to lift her elbow slightly as it made a better shape.


Too much for when I see violinists with the bow on that angle. And you're probabyl right.


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## Marschallin Blair

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I just don't understand the point of these.


Evidently beauty is in.

Beautiful make-up, beautiful shock of hair over the eye, beautiful lens filter and lighting: I love it.


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## scratchgolf

reminds me of


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## Marschallin Blair

scratchgolf said:


> View attachment 56933
> 
> reminds me of
> View attachment 56934


I certainly like the _idea_ behind these two cd covers-- but I think they're markedly less successful with their actual instantiation into photogenic reality._ ;D_

The Laura St. John Bach cd cover is exquisite.


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## MagneticGhost

I quite like those Lara St John covers above.
This one however I'm not so sure about


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## JACE

GregMitchell said:


> And Anne-Sophie always exuded class. I have loads of her albums and I don't think any of them are sexually suggestive in the manner of the Lara St John covers above. On most of her album covers she is wearing a strapless evening gown, usually one that she would actually wear on the concert stage. If there is anything sexually suggestive about them it is because she is a very attractive woman. There is nothing of the exploitative in them.


I agree 100%, Greg.


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## mirepoix

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


>


For what it's worth (nothing) to my mind she appears to be about 22 or 23 years old. I'd probably buy her CD if I liked the sound of it. And I'd definitely buy her dinner regardless because I like the look of her.

_Must fight...urge...to post...lecture about...photographing the human...body..._ I can't find a better example than this at the moment, but it's all BS because we'll all see things the way we want.


__
Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18
Show Content


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## Manxfeeder

mirepoix said:


> _Must fight...urge...to post...lecture about...photographing the human...body..._ I can't find a better example than this at the moment, but it's all BS because we'll all see things the way we want.


Yeah. I haven't figured out what this picture is of besides an elbow.


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## hpowders

Manxfeeder said:


> Yeah. I haven't figured out what this picture is of besides an elbow.
> 
> View attachment 56955


Yes, but 7 out of 8 music lovers said "Roger Sessions" when the top of the cover was taped up.


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## rrudolph

mirepoix said:


> For what it's worth (nothing) to my mind she appears to be about 22 or 23 years old. I'd probably buy her CD if I liked the sound of it. And I'd definitely buy her dinner regardless because I like the look of her.


She's 43. When I was at New School in Philadelphia in the 1980s she would come there for violin lessons (I think she was some sort of Curtis extension student or something). She looked almost the same at age 13 as she does on that Bach cover.


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## mirepoix

That's interesting, thanks for posting it. 

Yes, in the top photo she definitely appears older. I've now had a look and in the lower image she's aged (if the photo was shot around the time of the product release) 25. I'd still date her 'though. Well, maybe. Heh.


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## Tsaraslondon

I don't object to the Lara St John covers as photos. They're all very beautiful, and, yes, faintly erotic. I'm just not sure they're appropriate for the music she is playing.


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## Marschallin Blair

GregMitchell said:


> I don't object to the Lara St John covers as photos. They're all very beautiful, and, yes, faintly erotic. I'm just not sure they're appropriate for the music she is playing.


Well, appropriate for _whom_?

The Laura St. John Bach cover is suitably appropriate in every way for me.


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## Headphone Hermit

Marschallin Blair said:


> Evidently beauty is in.
> 
> Beautiful make-up, beautiful shock of hair over the eye, beautiful lens filter and lighting: I love it.


Woman says: "I love it"

Man says: "I don't like it"

each (one) to their own :tiphat:


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## HaydnBearstheClock

Donata said:


> I actually kind of like this one.
> View attachment 55035
> View attachment 55036
> View attachment 55037


Whoa, that young boy's got something 'up there', hehe.


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## HaydnBearstheClock

mirepoix said:


> For what it's worth (nothing) to my mind she appears to be about 22 or 23 years old. I'd probably buy her CD if I liked the sound of it. And I'd definitely buy her dinner regardless because I like the look of her.
> 
> _Must fight...urge...to post...lecture about...photographing the human...body..._ I can't find a better example than this at the moment, but it's all BS because we'll all see things the way we want.
> 
> View attachment 56944
> 
> 
> View attachment 56945


That reminds me of that part in Idiocracy where the new movie comes out ... *SS! They just stare for hours and hours on end. It may be part of human nature.


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## joen_cph

An old RCA LP, Munch in Symphonie Fantastique. Slightly discomforting, though.


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## hpowders

GregMitchell said:


> I don't object to the Lara St John covers as photos. They're all very beautiful, and, yes, faintly erotic. I'm just not sure they're appropriate for the music she is playing.


Thank you for validating all of the albums I purchased.


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## Posie

I saw the album cover "Shacking up to Chopin" that someone had posted on the "Sexy Classical Music" thread. It was so funny, I had to look it up, and I found these. This HAS to be a joke, though it's a good one. I'm thinking of downloading these to my tablet so that my mom will see them and then try to exorcize me. 

As much as I love Eine Kleine Nachtmusik and Für Elise, they are the LAST pieces of music I'd associate with sex. "PARENTAL ADVISORY: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT" :lol: The only explicit parts are the covers. Definitely a joke (or a bad marketing attempt).


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## Albert7

Varick said:


> There's the point
> 
> V


Actually I really like those covers!


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## hpowders

marinasabina said:


> View attachment 57121
> View attachment 57122
> 
> 
> I saw the album cover "Shaking up to Chopin" that someone had posted on the "Sexy Classical Music" thread. It was so funny, I had to look it up, and I found these. This HAS to be a joke, though it's a good one. I'm thinking of downloading these to my tablet so that my mom will see them and then try to exorcize me.
> 
> As much as I love Eine Kleine Nachtmusik and Für Elise, they are the LAST pieces of music I'd associate with sex. "PARENTAL ADVISORY: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT" :lol: The only explicit parts are the covers. Definitely a joke (or a bad marketing attempt).


Thanks for the advice. I just removed Für Elise from my midnight loop. Wasn't working any magic anyway.


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## ComposerOfAvantGarde

I found this at home somewhere. I'm scared to put it on.










Maybe it's the subtle lighting from below which makes it absolutely horrid.


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## SimonNZ

^Is that Eminem?


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## ahammel

marinasabina said:


> View attachment 57122


Is it just me, or has something terrible happen to that gentleman's torso?


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## SimonNZ




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## hpowders

ComposerOfAvantGarde said:


> I found this at home somewhere. I'm scared to put it on.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe it's the subtle lighting from below which makes it absolutely horrid.


At least he looks well organ-ized.


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## starthrower

But the music makes up for it! :lol:


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## Woodduck

starthrower said:


> But the music makes up for it! :lol:


That's what re-orchestrating Strauss waltzes for no conceivable reason will do to you.

I wish I could feel some compassion.


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## joen_cph

SimonNZ said:


>


Funny, looks heavily inspired by the old Westminster LP covers ...


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## Piwikiwi

starthrower said:


> But the music makes up for it! :lol:


I think that I speak for the majority of Dutch people when it comes to this:

WE ARE SO SO SORRY!


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## Richannes Wrahms

Piwikiwi said:


> I think that I speak for the majority of Dutch people when it comes to this:
> 
> WE ARE SO SO SORRY!


So now we know what happens when the Dutch fail to do it quick enough.


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## SimonNZ

joen_cph said:


> Funny, looks heavily inspired by the old Westminster LP covers ...


I thought they might have been trying for a kind of Sticky Fingers reference


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## joen_cph

SimonNZ said:


> I thought they might have been trying for a kind of Sticky Fingers reference


Good point .









I was thinking of the naive, extreme-low-budget associations of the Westminster serie, for instance


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## hpowders

Piwikiwi said:


> I think that I speak for the majority of Dutch people when it comes to this:
> 
> WE ARE SO SO SORRY!


Yeah, but that doesn't correct anything!!


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## Manxfeeder

Just for history's sake, I think I found Lara St. John's great-grandmother.


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