# A difficult and important forum message



## Sonata (Aug 7, 2010)

I am really sad to have to share this news. I have been trying to post this for a couple of hours now and just couldn't bring myself to do it. 

Our fellow forum member, L'enfer, is no longer with us. As some of you may know, she has struggled with a chronic illness for some time. She was recently hospitalized with a respiratory infection from which she did not recover. She was discharged from the hospital and died at home a few days ago. Her husband was kind enough to notify me of this news last night.

I never met L'enfer in person, never spoke with her on the phone. I was eager to see her wedding pictures, but unfortunately she passed before she was able to share them. Yet I counted her as a friend. As several of you probably know, she had a warm and friendly spirit that was clear even through such a poor medium as text on a screen. Never one to get involved in the this composer vs. that composer debates or the like, just here to share a mutual love of classical music. Four short months of friendship forged on our wonderful forum. I suspected that within a years' time I'd be receiving the sad message that I received yesterday, maybe even months. I was so not ready to receive the news yesterday.

I'd like to have a little tribute to L'enfer. A special listening club. I'll post the details shortly in the discussion forum. For her other friends, I'm sorry to have to share this sad message.


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## aleazk (Sep 30, 2011)

R.I.P L'enfer. I'm really shocked while reading this. My sympathies to her family.


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## Art Rock (Nov 28, 2009)

Devastated. Amazing how much impact the death of a person you never met can have. Thanks for sharing the sad news. Sonata. 

R.I.P L'enfer.


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## Renaissance (Jul 10, 2012)

A terrible tragedy...she seemed so alive. All my condolences to her husband and family. I can't believe this... Rest in peace, L'enfer...


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## Sonata (Aug 7, 2010)

I cried so much last night


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## Ravndal (Jun 8, 2012)

Why always the good ones... L'enfer seemed like a fantastic person. Full of life and joy, and a charming personality. This is indeed a tragedy. I didnt know her, but she will be missed.. Rest in peace..


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## Head_case (Feb 5, 2010)

It's heartbreaking just taking in the grief of her sudden death. I never knew her until she had openly asked about the forum about dealing with death. Knowing that life is short is one thing, and to end so suddenly .. just heartbreaking.

None of us are ever ready for this. Especially when it rents a big hole where she graced us just by her kindness and person.

Please send her husband and family our sympathy for their loss.


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## mamascarlatti (Sep 23, 2009)

So sad. She will be missed.


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## violadude (May 2, 2011)

Art Rock said:


> Devastated. Amazing how much impact the death of a person you never met can have. Thanks for sharing the sad news. Sonata.
> 
> R.I.P L'enfer.


I second this sentiment. I didn't talk to Lenfer a whole lot, but I did a few times and saw her posts on here and I could tell she was a really sweet person that was friendly to everyone. I never saw her being rude or anything. It IS amazing how much impact this news can have even though I didn't meet her or talk to her in person. I'm in public now, so I am trying to hold back tears as best as I can. I might have to let it out when I get home. Really sad news  Goodbye Lenfer and RIP.


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## PetrB (Feb 28, 2012)

She was of a remarkably good and constantly pleasant disposition, a kind of gentility personified. 
Sincere condolences to her family.


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## DavidA (Dec 14, 2012)

That is really sad. So sorry!


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## kv466 (May 18, 2011)

I can barely think right now,...she and I shared so much music...I was her first friend when she first signed on and I haven't checked my email yet because she had told me there were instructions to get in touch with me in case of something and I always told her not to talk like that. 

I don't think I have seen more respectful and well-mannered member here. I still can't believe it...


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## cwarchc (Apr 28, 2012)

adieu à notre cher ami L'enfer, vous serez dans le deuil


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## samurai (Apr 22, 2011)

This is a sad occasion indeed. All my condolences and respect go out to her husband.


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## neoshredder (Nov 7, 2011)

Wow. Shocked.


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## Manxfeeder (Oct 19, 2010)

I'm so saddened to hear this. I knew she was ill, but this was unexpected. She always presented herself as a kind, intelligent, and sensitive person, and the world is poorer for her loss. 

My thoughts and prayers go out to her husband.


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## Lukecash12 (Sep 21, 2009)

"Applaud my friends, the comedy is over."


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

How sad. Manx took the words out of my mouth:



Manxfeeder said:


> I'm so saddened to hear this. I knew she was ill, but this was unexpected. She always presented herself as a kind, intelligent, and sensitive person, and the world is poorer for her loss.
> 
> My thoughts and prayers go out to her husband.


Her politics & atheism where different to my own ideas of those things, but as is often in real life, it did not mean anything to me in terms of our online interactions. They where all positive, she was an excellent communicator. A model to us all who get heated and emotional.

Her favourite instrument I remember was the cello and her avatar the gorgeous Audrey Hepburn. I love them both as well.


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## regressivetransphobe (May 16, 2011)

Reading her last post is really awful in light of this information.


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## Kopachris (May 31, 2010)

She always showed compassion and sympathy for others' personal problems, even though she had great weight on her own shoulders.


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## Lukecash12 (Sep 21, 2009)

Kopachris said:


> She always showed compassion and sympathy for others' personal problems, even though she had great weight on her own shoulders.


While you say "even though", I feel it may have improved her ability to sympathize. I think we've all observed that she was an appreciative person.


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## millionrainbows (Jun 23, 2012)

This is sad news. I could tell she was sweet, and a peace-maker. Let's not take our music for granted, we only have so long to experience it.


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## jani (Jun 15, 2012)

I exchanged a few messages with her and noticed that she was a great person. Even when i ( Yes i know it was very stupid) first thought that she was a male, she took it with humor.

Rip L'enfer


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## ZombieBeethoven (Jan 17, 2012)

Sad news. Rest in peace.


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## elgar's ghost (Aug 8, 2010)

A terrible shame - she had an unflinchingly generous and conciliatory nature which always showed itself however unwell she was.


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## peeyaj (Nov 17, 2010)

awww.... L'enfer helped me in finding the BBC station when they celebrate Schubert.. Condolences!


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## Sonata (Aug 7, 2010)

regressivetransphobe said:


> Reading her last post is really awful in light of this information.


I know . From what I could gather from her husband, they knew she wasn't going to recover from this and sent her home so she could be with her family. Even then she never let on.

Her husband seems like such a sweet guy as well, polite and nice. He actually apologized to ME for sharing the news so close to Christmas. He loses his wife and he's sorry to make me sad. He couldn't bring himself to share the news more publicly, which is why I did.


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## Huilunsoittaja (Apr 6, 2010)

I'm truly sad to hear of this. Lenfer was a lover of life, and she did live her life to the fullest I think. May she rest in peace, and her relatives be comforted.


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## Guest (Dec 19, 2012)

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. She and I exchanged many pleasant PM's. My deepest condolences to her family.


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## starthrower (Dec 11, 2010)

Rest in peace, L'enfer.


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## Vaneyes (May 11, 2010)

I dreaded the day that has come. R.I.P. sweet L'enfer.

Heartfelt condolences to her husband, family, and friends.

View attachment 11025


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## Chi_townPhilly (Apr 21, 2007)

It's the Holiday Season... but it's again demonstrated that it's no Holiday for the Man With The Hooded Cloak and the Scythe.

Sincerest wishes for strength and courage to family, friends... really, to all of us.


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## moody (Nov 5, 2011)

It is a sad thing,particularly when the person was so very nice but also young---that's the thing of it !


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## BurningDesire (Jul 15, 2012)

Oh no :'( I'll miss her... I really liked her 

I told her a very personal secret, and she was so accepting and sweet about it... she was a wonderful person.


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## Lunasong (Mar 15, 2011)

L'enfer my friend, I will miss you. You were always a kind and gracious lady.

Sincere condolences to her husband and family.


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## clavichorder (May 2, 2011)

It's taken about a day for this to sink in. L'enfer was one of those that helped me feel safe posting about my troubles in the community forum, before the great 'what happens in your life thread,' and it was so for pretty much everyone else who shared as well. Actively and genuinely kind words are valuable and she really had the ability to offer them here, as she probably did to those she knew in real life. I regret that I personally could not always break my passivity and hang ups and return the favor. I will miss her.


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## Sid James (Feb 7, 2009)

Vaneyes said:


> I dreaded the day that has come. R.I.P. sweet L'enfer.
> 
> Heartfelt condolences to her husband, family, and friends.
> 
> View attachment 11025


Like her idol Audrey Hepburn, L'enfer had STYLE. But I don't mean that so much in terms of dress but more in attitude.

& in terms of Audrey, I am a fan of sorts as well, and I remember exchanging thoughts with L'enfer on a film that Sid James starred in, as well as Stanley Holloway and Alec Guiness. Audrey had a short 'blink twice and you'd miss it' cameo in that, I think it was her first screen appearance (in the 1950's). So, four of my favourite actors are in it! The film is a kind of heist comedy, called _The Lavender Hill Mob _& the score incidentally is by Georges Auric of _Les Six_.

Here is that short cameo, which L'enfer remembered when I mentioned it:


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## Sonata (Aug 7, 2010)

Just wanted to update everyone. L'enfer's husband emailed me again. He wanted to offer some comfort; even though she rarely gave many details, she was in a lot of discomfort towards the end. It's good that she is no longer hurting. Her funeral is tomorrow. And he also wanted us to know that he was touched by the response here on the forum. He wasn't really able to read the messages just yet, but it meant a lot to him just knowing they were there. He told me that the friendships here on the forum really helped her cope these last few months.


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## Ondine (Aug 24, 2012)

I am so sorry. Really. Unfortunately I could not meet her well in the forum because I am recently joined here, but something in her told me about his personality and I agree with those who have spoken kind words about her.

I am really sorry.


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## Moira (Apr 1, 2012)

Rest in Peace L'enfer and rise in glory.


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## Cnote11 (Jul 17, 2010)

Coming back from my trip, I did not expect this sort of news. I was rather worried recently when she went to the hospital once again, but she always played everything down and never completely let on. She always portrayed a very bright and optimistic manner. I had the pleasure of messaging her here and there and sharing thoughts and stories. I find this to be a great loss to the forum, as L'enfer was probably the most liked member on this entire forum. She was very sharp and critical, but gentle in the way she carried herself. She had lovely taste in music, movies, and literature and we were able to recommend each other various things and I was able to learn from her posts. My heart goes out to her family and her husband, who seems like a great man who stuck by her side and made her end as happy and enjoyable as possible. She was kind to everybody here and was very willing to listen and discuss with whomever contacted her and, as several posters have noted, created a very comfortable environment in which we could share.


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## superhorn (Mar 23, 2010)

So sorry to hear about this. I don't recall having much discussion with her here ,, but my condolences to her family .


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## Ramako (Apr 28, 2012)

I have not been on the forum so much lately, trying to cut down on my internet time, and I come back to see this... L'enfer was the first person who really made me feel at home here. Her kind and positive posts were an example to us all. I will miss her, and my prayers are with her and her family, especially her husband.


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## graaf (Dec 12, 2009)

I still remember the shy private message she sent me, in which she said how she always like to introduce herself, and shared a few kind words. I also remember that in some of her posts she appeared so open minded, that it might seem to some almost as childlike naivete. She was always genuinely kind, had great taste in both film and music, and was so selfless - as someone said, she downplayed her health condition, never complaining about it.

Only today I heard the sad news and I never knew I could feel this way about someone I've never met in person.

I just have to share this quote, to remind all of us how fragile life is and how incredibly precious is our time with one another:

_Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..._

Saddened by the fact that I didn't corespond with her even more, I sure will remember her often...


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